text: It was Christmas Eve, I was standin in the parking lot
  Of Fabulous Girls, Nude - Nude - Nude
  In the car next to me there was a young lady givin a blow-job
  To a man in a Santa Claus suit
  His beard was crooked, his hat askew
  Embarrassed, I turned to go
  When from the back seat of that Mazda I heard somebody shout Oh Baby, dont
  Stop
  And a merry Ho-ho-ho
  When I walked inside, I ordered a beer and a double shot of whisk
  And in three minutes I had fallen in love
  The DJ announced Ladies and gentlemen, from Forth Worth, Texas: Lady Godiva
  And I sat and worshipped neath the angel above
  At the end of her set she brushed her hair
  Came and sat on the stool to my right
  And said Will you buy me a drink?
  My heart beats fast, my trousers grew tight
  And wittily I replied Uhhh....
  She showed me a picture of her kid
  Said during the day shes an art student
  She dances six nights a week for slobs and idiots like this
  Of course, present company excluded
  On Donner, on Dancer, on Comet, on Blitzen
  Im lost in the valley of the supervixens
  Worshippin at the feet of the goddess above
  Im a pilgrim in the temple of love, ma, just a pilgrim in the temple
  Of love
  Well then Santa came stumblin in, and somebody shouted
  Hey Santa, wheres your elves?
  He sat down on the stool to my left
  And the bartender took a vodka bottle of the shelf
  He asked if Mrs. Claus had called
  To tell her he worked on the late shift at the mall
  And he was sorry, but he just got through
  I turned and I asked him:
  Hows the kid this year, Santa?
  Beneath his breath he whispered A merry fuck you
  Well then the owner come over and he was a short gfat ugly guy
  With a funny kind of pushed-in face
  He shook my hand and said it was the first time
  Theyd ever had a real superstar in this place
  Lady Godiva bought me a few drinks
  And words came out of my mouth
  What they were, I couldnt guess
  But it was something about showgirls, lapdancing, motley crue
  You can guess the rest
  Well I walked outside, snow was falling
  I had some toys to put together - it was Christmas time
  Santa followed me into the parking lot
  And threw up on the hood of the car next to mine
  I gave him my handkerchief, pulled out onto the highway
  And as I sat at the light
  I swear I saw a sleigh with a dozen of reindeers
  Pull up out of the parking lot and cut across the mall
  And a voice shouted Merry Christmas to all you assholes
  And to all a good fucking night!