text: I fell asleep on the couch last night, woke up with the TV on
  There was a woman in tight cotton exercise shorts
  And a big plastic machine she was climbing on
  She said The Abacycle guarantees ten inches off your waist
  And 50 pounds in just 3 minutes a day.
  I went to bed knowing the revolution had been postponed
  And everything was OK
  You can buy it, you can try it, go right ahead
  But dont be fooled folks, theres only one
  I forget the guys name but I know somebody must have said
  Sell it and they will come boys, sell it and they will come
  I switched the channels and there was Evel Knievel, I thought that he was
  Dead
  I found myself sitting there quietly, hanging on every word he said
  Now folks, the Stimulator removes all pain from your life
  And the best day of your life will be when you try this little thing out.
  The camera moved in as he said, Now let me tell you ladies and gentlemen
  Pain is something old Evel knows a little about
  You can buy it, you can try it, thats what I said
  But dont be fooled folks, theres only one
  I forget that guys name but I know somebody must have said
  Sell it and they will come boys, sell it and they will come
  And a fellow comes on shouting Free haircuts for life!
  Somehow you cut your hair with a vacuum cleaner
  And then I switched the channels and there was Dionne Warwick, communing
  With her psychic friends
  I watched for hours, taking warmth, comfort
  And pleasure in the things that I despise
  Touched by how much they needed me, and that gleeful desperation in their
  Eyes
  You can buy it, you can try it, itll help you in bed
  But dont be fooled folks, theres only one
  I forget that guys name but I know somebody said
  Sell it and they will come boys, sell it and they will come
  So Dionne, Cher, and all my late-night friends, I drink to your health
  And Tony Little, Americas personal trainer, please kill yourself
  Now Ive sold a few things myself in my time, and by the way folks
  Theres some t-shirts on your way outside
  Well last night I dreamed of lipstick and tight little cotton shorts
  Harder, faster, she breathed
  One, two, three, four, five
  Ride, Sally ride, girl, ride Sally ride
  You can buy it, you can try it, itll help you in bed
  But dont be fooled folks, theres only one
  I forget that guys name but somebody said
  Sell it and they will come boys, sell it and they will come