text: So - so Im 20 years old, and Im livin and playin on the Jersey shore and Im waitin to be discovered. Now, I have some confidence. Ive been around a bit, and without a doubt, I am definitely the best thing that Ive ever seen. Ive already played in front of every conceivable audience. I had played firemans fairs, midnight madness supermarket openings, drive-in movies, uh, in front of the concession stand in between films, Ive played beach parties, offices, clubs, pizza parlors, coffee shops, bowling alleys, trailer parks, roller rinks, VFW halls, CYO canteens, the elks lodge, YMCA gymnasiums, hockey rinks, county fairs, carnivals, high school dances, weddings, fraternity parties, bar mitzvahs, soul revues, battle of the bands, Sing Sing Prison, and Marlboro Psychiatric Hospital. Send me your murderers and your maniacs and let me entertain em, alright? Its what I do. Thats all true. Thats all before I was 23 years old. Im frustrated, I listen to the radio and I think Im as good as that guy, Im better than that guy, so why not me? Answer: because I live in the fucking Boondocks, alright. Let me explain this to you. I live in the boondocks. There is nobody here and no one comes down here. Its a grave. There was no Jersey, Jersey, Jersey Shore, Jersey Almighty shit. I invented that. Before me, Jersey was Jeserkistan. Jeserkistan! One of the little -stan things that nobody knows a fuckin thing about, ya know. And New York was a million miles away from the Jersey Shore. In my little town as a child we knew no one who had ever been to New York City. Jesus Christ, it was only an hour away! But no, you might as well have said youre goin to the fuckin moon! Hey, were goin to the moon, you wanna go? No, no, no, no New York, were provincial, everybody was afraid ya know, everybody was afraid of the big city. And there was no internet, there was no ET, or MTV, or cable TV or satellite or, this is before anyone and everyones asscrack from any place U.S.A. could be seen all over the world, should they choose, in the push of a key, in the next instant. So who was gonna come to the Jersey shore, to discover the next big thing in 1971? Youre correct. No fuckin body. All we heard down there was the sound of, one hand clapping. Wasnt gonna happen