text: Id like to call somebody to the stage that you know as a folk singer
  But that you havent met in his other role
  Paul is a comedian with a unique point of view and commentary
  And in this capacity, ladies and gentlemen
  Please welcome with me to the stage, my good friend
  My compatriot, Paul Stookey
  PopThat was the sound of a golf ball
  Or if youre a ping-pong enthusiast, that was a sound of a ping-pong ball
  Except generally youll hear ping Pong
  Pop pingpongpop pingpongpop
  Thats the sound of a match between a golfer and a ping-pong enthusiast
  I played golf today, 18 holes I played golf, wooo
  I did pretty good too, I think you would have been very proud of me
  PopFour. popFive. popSix popSeven
  I dont like sports very much
  Theres a vast number of sports that Im not invlved in
  Theres water skiing
  In order to water ski, really you should swim, right?
  Youre not gonna stay up there all the time, now
  And I dont like to swim, really
  You know what swimming is to me?
  Staying alive when Im in the water
  Barely
  Ill do anything to stay afloat
  Even swallow Co2 cartriges
  But I didnt come out here to talk about sports
  I really, I came out here, Peter talks about status
  And I cannot think of one material object that has more status in this country
  Than the automobile
  And it starts at a very early age now, right?
  I mean, now at 14, kids want the car, right?
  They get cheaters permits so they can drive
  You get a learners permit at 15, a cheaters permit at 14
  And its, I guess its really necessary because
  You lose a lot of face calling up a girl and asking her
  If you can peddle right over and pick her up, right?
  They dont really go for that any more
  And if you look back on all the times you had the automobile
  Aside from a few interesting saturday evenings
  You got to admit that one of the nicest times of all
  Was a sunday afternoon, if you could get the car
  You come down the stairs, ker-clunk ker-clunk ker-clunk ker-clunk
  Mom, dad, gonna take the car, ha haaa
  Beautiful day for a drive, I think Ill go out
  Ha haaa haaa ha huuu
  And then, and then they level you with that giant killer, right?
  HAVE YOU DONE YOUR HOMEWORK?
  If you were fast, youd say, mom, dad, have I done my homework?
  Lightning soundRun out the door
  You pick up 3 other great pretenders, 3 oclock in the afternoon
  The time is now 10 oclock in the evening
  The same 4 guys are in the same car engine sound
  Well, whata you wanna do? engine sound
  I dont know, whada you wanna do? engine sound
  Hey, weve been driving for 7 hours engine sound
  Hey, I got an idea, he he engine sound
  Yeah, whats that? engine sound
  Lets go to a drive-in resturant and look at the girls, hehehe engine sound
  Oh, ok engine sound
  Well, here they are, but theyre all from our high school engine sound
  Wait a minute, theres a car load over there
  Theres a place right next to them, lets go get it engine sound
  Horn x2
  Tire screech
  Horn
  Engine sound
  Tire screech
  Dont look at em laughter
  Heres the conversation in the girls car you never heard
  Here they come
  There they are
  Dont look at em
  Remember the time when drive-ins first opened
  And the girls used to come out to take your order?
  Now youre lucky you know, if you get a girl in slacks who delivers it
  I understand theyre even putting in conveyor belts in some drive-in resturants
  There was a time when the little girls came running out in short little skirts
  Remember them? whistling
  You pull in engine, tire screech
  And the little girl would come running up panting
  May I take your order sir?
  Yes, but I dont believe its on the menu, ha ha
  They dont, they dont let you flirt any more now
  They give you a little green box with a white button on it
  A little speaker grill, right
  Unintelligable noise
  What?
  Unintelligable noise
  Oh, ok, um, Wed like one cheeseburger deluxe special extra
  The one you have out here with the little white cup
  With that whatever thats in there, well take it, whatever it is
  And uh, wed like two hamburgers medium rare with everything on em
  And one hamburger, no, one hamburger, meat, no hamburgers
  One frank, and three chiliburgers, ok?
  Alright, and wed like two chocolate shakes, regular thick, for spoons you know THICK
  And wed like two strawberry shakes thin
  Water them down, or milk them down a little, ok
  Cause we got somebody here with chapped lips and theyd like it thin
  Can, you understand what I mean?
  Are you there?
  Unintelligable noise
  Well, could you tell us what we have please?
  Unintelligable noise for a long time
  And four six-packs
  Well take it
  And after you get your food order in, you got at least 40 minutes to wait
  Even if its just a cup of coffee you got 40 minutes to wait
  And you cannot get out of your car, right
  Remember there was a time when drive-ins first opened
  You used to pull in and get out, exchange hellos, greetings kiss
  Evidentally some people were getting out and exchanging
  Something a little heavier than hellos and greetings
  They have policemen there to keep you in your car
  You can be 47 years old and drop your credit cards on the ground
  Officer, thats my wallet
  I dont care who you are kidpop back in the car
  If you do get out, you gotta be very careful
  Because the new resturants have radar now radar scanning sound
  So you have to crawl on your belly between the cars panting
  You get over to the side of the car panting
  Psssst pop, pop, pop
  Psssst pop down here!
  I cant come up, theyll spot me
  Pop, pop, pop Put down your window
  Sound of window going down
  Power windows, huh?
  Whoo, this is a pretty fancy car
  Hey, youre a pretty fancy broad
  Sound of window going up
  Pop. pop, pop
  Sound of window going down
  Tire screech
  If you did manage to get out of the drive-in resturant without being maimed
  There was a sporting event taking place at the traffic light
  Remember, with all of two characters
  Mr. Businessman who drove a 4-door family sedan with black-wall tires
  Automatic transmission
  Seated next to him in a 1941 gray primer coated Ford
  With its rear end 2 inches off the ground
  Tomato cans for mufflers
  With his back to the drivers window, his left arm draped over the steering wheel
  His right hand gripped onto the gearshift lever
  A sneer on lips sat THE KID
  Engine revving sound
  Well, Mr. Businessman has just had his bands tightened, and
  Those of you who are not quite sure what I mean
  By having your bands tightened
  The bands are the rings in an automatic transmission
  Which actually affect the gear change
  Uh huh, Ill give you an example
  This is an automobile with tight bands
  Car sound with gear shifts
  This is an automobile with loose bands
  Car sound with gear shifts, different sound
  Well, Mr. Businessman has just had his bands tightened
  And he thinks that he will show THE KID a thing or two
  Meanwhile, THE KID engine revving
  Has inched these 2 fingers up over his left arm
  This is the universal signlanguage among teenagers for dragging
  You probably recall Winston Churchill during the war years
  Which everyone assumed meant V for victory
  Actually if youll also recall Winston Churchill smokes a cigar, right?
  He used to hold it in here, right?
  And occationally he would turn to his friends on the stage and say
  Want a drag?
  See, and the kids picked it up
  The light changes
  The light changes to amber and Mr. Businessman decides to get very daring
  He pulls the automatic transmission down into low clunk
  He puts one foot on the brake screech
  Still holding the foot on the brake, in order to get that extra fast start
  He pulls the automatic transmission down into low clunk
  And pushes down on the accelerator five inches
  The car is internally hemorraging
  He knows, he knows, he knows hes gonna have to have another band job
  Hes not gonna let THE KID show him up
  The light changes to green, Mr. Businessman is off
  Tire screech
  Engine running fast
  Gear shift
  Gear shift with loose bands
  Looks at the speedometer, 80, 90, 95, 96, 97, 98 miles an hour
  Looks out the window and The Kids not even there
  You know whats there?
  Siren sound
  He looks in the rear view mirror and The Kids still back at the corner
  He never races anybody
  He just sits there and scares the hell out of them