diff --git "a/AITA_labeled_posts.csv" "b/AITA_labeled_posts.csv" --- "a/AITA_labeled_posts.csv" +++ "b/AITA_labeled_posts.csv" @@ -247,7 +247,13 @@ post_id,post_content,post_title,verdict 10tz7yh,"On the RSVP my fiancé and I put that we’re reserving 5 seats for his family of 5. Today we got the RSVP back and he crossed the 5 out and put 6. I asked one of our sisters if she knows who the 6th person might be and she told me it’s his sons girlfriend. We are having a smaller wedding and already didn’t invite a lot of family because we didn’t want it to get too big. I know it’s just one extra person but no one in their family asked if it would be ok. They’re both in high school and our wedding invitation says that it’s an adult only reception. Obviously for immediate family that request isn’t applicable but the girlfriend isn’t immediate family, she wasn’t invited, we don’t know her, and no one asked us if she can come. So WIBTA to tell my brother that she cannot come?edit: I took all your advice and reached out to my brother. Apparently he was the one that invited the girlfriend, not my nephew. Basically he gaslit me and said something along the lines of it being sad that he can’t invite someone to my wedding. He also said that I didn’t even ask who it was that he invited. Then proceeded to ask if he and his family were still invited.",WIBTA for telling my brother his 16 year old son can’t bring his girlfriend of 6 months to my wedding?,NTA 10v5w5v,"Going to DR for a wedding. All inclusive. My BILs best friend. Good grip, rowdy, but fun.But, for the last 3 of these weddings, the leader of that group insists that everyone goes to duty free before arriving and buy a bottle each of whiskey. The guy loves jack daniels and he’s a groomsman. He did this at the last 2, more as the group leader vs wedding party person.I wind up spending like $75 for a 750ml of jack daniels. It’s really dumb. Everyone follows suit because they don’t want to be an asshole.Money is not tight, I can afford it just fine, but it flies in the face of common sense to me.My idea is - why don’t I just go into town, buy a bunch of bottles, at you know, regular price, and we’ll all be the wiser. I had a girlfriend during our last one of these and she suggested the same thing but it was too late by then.Even though on paper it’s clearly a financially sound decision, the group mentality is that if you don’t do the duty free thing, you’re being cheap, and given my financial situation isn’t tight, it won’t reflect well. “Everyone else did it, what you can’t afford $75 bro?”So, WIBTA if I just bailed on the duty free thing, went into town the second I got there, and bought like 4 bottles for the same price? And yes, people would know I didn’t do DF, we’re on the same flight.EDIT: the reason is to have booze for the after parties when the resort bars and stuff close. There will be 2-3 of these",WIBTA if I went into town for booze?,NTA 10v5vuf,"I'm 34M, my half-brother is 39. He has a teenage son, I have a 1 year old daughter. We don't see each other often, but we call and text. He grew up without a solid male role model, his father was never in the picture, so he was somewhat difficult in his youth. My mothers general lack of parenting didn't help in this regard. I spent most of my time with my father and his family, visiting my mother and my brother on weekends.While my brother has little formal education, I would call him gifted. He is a creative person and he's very good at what he does. Unfortunately he is unwilling to think ahead or plan, he has a 'devil may care' attitude. This means his financials have never been great.Over the years he has asked me for loans several times. I never got the money back, and he never brought it up. He would just ask for another loan. The last time he asked for money was 4 years ago. He told me he needs the money for his son. I told him it's not cool, using his child to guilt me into giving him money, while he has had years to better his situation. We agreed that he can ask me for money 2 more times and that's it, after this I would be done with the loans. He used up his last 2 times and that was it.I've told our mother to stop giving him money, that he has to learn to take care of himself. When he recently got injured at work (disabled for a few weeks), he wrote to me asking for money. Our mother followed my advice and told him to figure it out, so he asked me. His son doesn't live with him, he has only himself to consider. I called our mother to ask what the money is for. He wanted to move to another city, to be closer to his son. He found a flat that was close to where his son lived. But he was not living there yet, he still had some work to finish in his current town, and he was recovering from his injuries. Our mother helped him with the deposit and she paid the first month of rent. He could not yet move and he wanted to keep the flat. It would take him at least one more month wrap things up, while paying rent for an empty flat. I found all this ludicrous. I wold have just canceled the contract and look for another flat. Yes, any other flat would have been further from his kid, but that's life. I went off on him. I reminded him all the previous loans. I explained why it's a dumb idea. I was annoyed with him for even asking.I don't really know if he understood me. He went back to our mother, she caved and gave him the money. In total she spent thousands paying for an empty flat. I feel bad leaving him in a tough spot. I understand the need to be close to your kid. I did say I love him to pieces, but that shit just doesn't fly with me. He hasn't been responding to my texts. Maybe I should cut him some slack due to his childhood. At the same time, it's not something one can hide behind forever. Childhood is not our fault, but it is our responsibility to deal with it.So, AITA for not giving him money?",AITA for not giving my brother money?,NTA -10v266g,"Names changed. I (39M) play DnD (Dungeons and Dragons) with my friends and in 2020 I decided to DM a campaign for my friends to help with the stress. Two friends of mine are a couple, Matt and John (29M now) just added an infant to their family when I started my campaign. They shared a character at first to swap baby duty (this was over the internet with video call). Eventually, they moved to the same town as me and for 8 months they (Matt, John and Bubba) lived with me because their housing fell thru last minute. We started playing in person and they wanted to start playing separate characters once Bubba was old enough he didn’t need as dedicated focus. We found an in-game reason to split, no problem. Matt started having seizures and it took a long time to get them under control (it’s relevant). They move out, we keep playing off and on because life happens. Have friends join and leave, the three of us remain the core group. Matt’s dad dies. Matt forgets everything. Not just DnD, but everything. Total amnesia. He eventually starts gaining it back, but keeps having episodes of amnesia. At this point we’ve stopped the game because he doesn’t remember anything about the character he created or the game. Finally find out his seizures and amnesia are in part due to PTSD and he’ll have amnesia episodes whenever something triggers him. I suspended our game indefinitely while he works with a counselor to get the total amnesia attacks under control. He hasn’t had any memory loss covering more than a day for a few months now and he wants to resume the campaign. Now that the backstory is out of the way: I don’t want to play with someone who is constantly having to make new characters and relearn how to play DnD. It’s exhausting to have to incorporate a new character, only for him to forget and have to change the story for one character to leave and another to return. Add to that explaining the house rules, how to play, etc. However, he hasn’t had a major memory loss in a few months. So, AITA for not resuming our campaign now that he isn’t consistently losing his memory? WIBTA if I told him that’s why we aren’t playing? Two questions that might come up: He doesn’t remember the old campaign or his old characters. I’ve been very sick lately, which has been the excuse I’ve given Matt as to why we haven’t resumed. But I’m recovering, so I can’t use that excuse for long.",AITA For not wanting to play DnD because my friend keeps forgetting how?,NTA +10v266g,"Names changed. I (39M) play DnD (Dungeons and Dragons) with my friends and in 2020 I decided to DM a campaign for my friends to help with the stress. +Two friends of mine are a couple, Matt and John (29M now) just added an infant to their family when I started my campaign. They shared a character at first to swap baby duty (this was over the internet with video call). Eventually, they moved to the same town as me and for 8 months they (Matt, John and Bubba) lived with me because their housing fell thru last minute. +We started playing in person and they wanted to start playing separate characters once Bubba was old enough he didn’t need as dedicated focus. We found an in-game reason to split, no problem. Matt started having seizures and it took a long time to get them under control (it’s relevant). They move out, we keep playing off and on because life happens. Have friends join and leave, the three of us remain the core group. Matt’s dad dies. +Matt forgets everything. Not just DnD, but everything. Total amnesia. He eventually starts gaining it back, but keeps having episodes of amnesia. At this point we’ve stopped the game because he doesn’t remember anything about the character he created or the game. +Finally find out his seizures and amnesia are in part due to PTSD and he’ll have amnesia episodes whenever something triggers him. I suspended our game indefinitely while he works with a counselor to get the total amnesia attacks under control. He hasn’t had any memory loss covering more than a day for a few months now and he wants to resume the campaign. Now that the backstory is out of the way: +I don’t want to play with someone who is constantly having to make new characters and relearn how to play DnD. It’s exhausting to have to incorporate a new character, only for him to forget and have to change the story for one character to leave and another to return. Add to that explaining the house rules, how to play, etc. However, he hasn’t had a major memory loss in a few months. So, AITA for not resuming our campaign now that he isn’t consistently losing his memory? WIBTA if I told him that’s why we aren’t playing? +Two questions that might come up: He doesn’t remember the old campaign or his old characters. I’ve been very sick lately, which has been the excuse I’ve given Matt as to why we haven’t resumed. But I’m recovering, so I can’t use that excuse for long.",AITA For not wanting to play DnD because my friend keeps forgetting how?,NTA 10v0099,"TA account. For background, I am in a group chat with three friends and an acquaintance ""Mel"". I call Mel an acquaintance because I am not really close to her but the rest of my friends are good friends with her. Mel likely sees me as an acquaintance too. I have hung out with my three friends multiple times as a group but I have hung out with all four (plus Mel) only once.Anyways, Mel's birthday is in three weeks and one of my friends ""Daisy"" texted the group chat asking what we were going to do for her birthday. Mel said she wanted to go to an aquarium early in the day located in San Diego (where we live far from). The rest of my friends made the idea of hanging out the entire day in San Diego to celebrate her 25th birthday which I thought would be fun.I didn't check the group chat for a whole day but Daisy asked Mel where else she would like to go. Mel said she didn't mind where and would appreciate ideas. Daisy then came up with a list of things to do in San Diego which Mel agreed sounded like a good list. I checked the group chat after Mel agreed to go to the places on the list. I then see the list and look up the places online. After looking up all the attractions I see that they all require an entrance fee/ticket and each attraction costs around 30-40 dollars per ticket. Basically, I would spend about 150 dollars for Mel's birthday.I don't have enough money to be spending right now due to my financial situation. If I were to tell the group chat that I can't go because of financial reasons, Mel wouldn't care if I went or not. My other two friends would be understanding why I couldn't go but I know Daisy would try to start an argument if I said I did not want to go. I have an idea of what Daisy might say:""It's selfish of you to not want to celebrate Mel's birthday""""Money comes and goes""""It's selfish to not even spare some money to celebrate someone's birthday""""You're being bitchy for not wanting to celebrate someone's special day""I want to be honest and tell them I can't go due to financial reasons but I don't want a one-sided aggressive argument from Daisy. I would go for only the first part of her birthday (to spend less) but we'd be carpooling in someone else's car since the drive is far from where we live, so I wouldn't have a way back to leave early. Even if I lied and said I had something important to do that day, Daisy would tell me to attend the birthday instead and tell me that my important thing could be moved to another day. Thank you if you read this far, but is it reasonable for me to not go to Mel's birthday and AITA for not wanting to go?Also, idk if I am the AH for thinking this but even if I were in a good financial situation, I don't think I would spend $150 for someone's birthday who I'm not that close with. If it were a close friend or the other person really wanted me to go to try to get closer to me then I would be more willing to spend 150.",AITA for not wanting to go to an acquaintance's birthday event?,NTA 10v1zjy,"The title may be a little misleading but I can't figure out something better. And sorry for my bad english. To start of, I M16 used to sit around on Discord quite a lot. I made a lot of friends on there and always talked to them like I talk in real life. I'm most likely autistic and currently in the progress of getting a diagnosis, I would tell people this if I trusted them enough. Though in this one groupchat it turned into quite the problem. A while after I gave out the information about my and my superiors suspicions about autism they ""confronted me"" about faking autism. Keep in mind that this is all online, they have no idea how I act outside of Discord. They did not listen at all to what I had to say and basically made me out to be this whole asshole guy who faked being autistic to fit in with them. I would never fake anything this serious and I've been in the system to get help way before I met them, so their point doesn't even have a stable foundation. I know who I am and I know that I should not take their words to heart as they literally do not have anything to back them up other than ""You don't have a professional diagnosis and you've talked about stuff you've gone through so you're faking"" but I still wonder if I am that asshole rude jerk they made me out to be. So am I the asshole for talking about experiences I've had as an undiagnosed person?",AITA for talking about experiences I've had as an undiagnosed person?,NTA 10uwv5h,"I have two Masters degrees and, with my Bachelors, 3 degrees worth of school loans totaling $180k that have ballooned to much more with interest. I have never bought a house and have never had kids. I am responsible. I have moved numerous times for better jobs over the years.My current long-term (2.5 years) boyfriend resents me for not being at home full-time and having a “traditional” work schedule because I am attending a three-semester long nursing bridge college program. It will allow me to have a high-paying career, make reasonable money after I will pay ten percent of my income to income-based repayment, and work significantly less hours than otherwise. He believes I don’t prioritize him and am being selfish. AITA?I have worked through the pandemic to make extra money to put aside for this so he doesn’t pay for any of this travel or tuition and I still pay for half (or more) of the house (his house) as well as groceries so he is not burdened with shopping (that he hates) or laundry.I have worked as a paramedic, educator, or in hospitals for the last 20 years. Pay is always bad for paramedic, NON-firefighters. The EMS profession is not organized into a cohesive infrastructure in the US. They are scared of qualified people with college degrees and who come from other places, bringing their new ideas which will disrupt their way of doing things. It’s a good old boys club.In the hospital, it was the glass ceiling. I did not have the magic RN letters. So, I scoured the country to find a paramedic-to-RN bridge program. It’s hybrid, part-online, and accredited.It’s 2 days a week but in a different state. I stay with family whom I pay some rent to and use one of their cars while I am there. I fly back and forth each week, a direct flight from small airports. I work 20 hours a week remotely for benefits. Traveling takes me 4 hours twice a week the day before and after school. He never wanted to combine our finances, so I still work every other weekend on the ambulance when I come home. He also felt scorned when I wanted a vacation between fall and spring terms.I grew up meagerly, taken away from our father due to abuse. My mother is wonderful, but dropped out of college to have me and therefore, was not well-off. So I had to borrow all of my degrees; I have always had to support myself. He wants me to just let him ‘take care of me,’ but then complains that he doesn’t want to talk about bills or finances. That sounds shallow and immature to me. He doesn’t acknowledge, despite knowing, that I spend more money going back and forth than on the school itself! And that IS prioritizing him. Getting rid of my debt helps us.I am currently in the second semester. I have quit one of my jobs to help alleviate his concerns but am afraid it wont be enough financially. Am I making the right choice by staying in school?",AITA to attend school and not be home full-time to enable myself to pay a huge school loan balance?,NTA @@ -693,7 +699,18 @@ post_id,post_content,post_title,verdict 10tr633,"I (18F) and my best friend (17F) have been friends for almost a year now. We are almost like platonic soulmates and know everything about each other. We are basically the same person, but aren't. I am a lesbian/nonbinary, she is a straight female who has her fair share of female crushes. She is also dating her boyfriend (17M). I'm gonna name them ""Hannah"" and ""Ryan"". Not using real names.Hannah and Ryan have been dating for almost 1 year and 2 months. I never truly liked Ryan because I didn't know him well, but I also liked him because he made Hannah happy. But not in a good way. They haven't kissed and just now started going on dates and holding hands. I get going slow, but Hannah wants more from Ryan.They were both raised in strict, religious households, but Ryan doesn't have any social media and doesn't even have permission to watch youtube. Hannah is allowed social media, her parents are just semi-strict religious parents.But it feels like every month there was a problem they had. And just now, Ryan is starting to pick up things she's been hinting for a YEAR.I get both ways, but I keep telling Hannah that I don't think Ryan wants a relationship. She's had to push him for anything and he doesn't even have a good relationship he's seen to try and be a boyfriend to Hannah.Ryan has hid things from her that she had to hear from Ryan's mother. Ryan is an AP kid who is focused on school and college and a job. He barely has time for her. I think Hannah is being disrespected.I understand where they're both coming from because they've both talked to me about their lives.I am becoming distant from Hannah because I believe she's being treated unfair. I tried to warn her, but I don't want to se her get hurt and I don't want to continue to be a friend towards someone.Also, I was in a relationship and it was EXACTLY like Hannah and Ryan's. Hannah had her opinions about mine and I gladly got out of my toxic relationship. But now I see Hannah and Ryan's becoming my old ones, but don't want to tell her to break up because this is her first relationship.AITA for being distant from her and not trying to be her friend or is their any solutions I can make?&#x200B;ALSO, I've talked to her, she just says ""I don't want to leave him, I'll become depressed"" I just don't want to see her hurt.&#x200B;EDIT: i wanna make this quick edit. I forgot to add. Hannah and I were super close, but when she started dating Ryan she completely pushed me away. And then when things got rough, came back to ME only in times to text me about how he did something and how she wanted to break up with him. I told her to break up with him and that I thought he was toxic. Not only did I say it, but 10 OTHER PEOPLE told her. But she says he's just ""not used to relationships"". She only hung out with me when she wanted to complain about him. I don't think its toxic, I now toxic, I just think them together is toxic because he doesn't care about her and when we try and tell her to leave him and I will be there for her when she does, but she won't because she doesn't want to be sad even though she's sad now. I've tried being there for her, I just have my own school and mental things and want a friend who wants to be friends with me, not just complain to me and when I try to help tells me I'm wrong. And also says everyone else is wrong as well.&#x200B;Another edit: sorry, i'm truly trying to find peace between my friend and i. i want to add i just want her to be happy, but she knows ryan doesn't like her. a text from 6 months ago, she texted her saying ""i don't want to be in relationship, i'm focused on school."" and they had a big fight. ryan barely notices her and doesn't even text her. when she tried to bring something up to her, he ignored her for a week then sent a ""good morning"" text a week later.i am STILL with my friend and should've put ""WIBTA"" not ""AITA"", i just want to know how to fix this because we are kids and i just want to graduate with no drama. her grades are falling and i just want her to be happy. she was never there for me, so i tried being their for her and tried to make ryan look good, but some friends have evidence that he isn't the best. i don't just ""wanna be her friend again"" i want my friend who was happy and cheerful back, not someone who rants to me, ask for help then when i try to help like ""text him about this"" she says he wont listen. i only just now started sharing the ""maybe it's time to talk to him about important things and what you two want"", but other friends have tried too or tried to talk to both of them. she continues to text him even though he ghost her. i try to invite her places to get her mind off of it, but she says she's waiting for ryan. i usually leave it alone, but i can't PUSH her to hang out with our friends.i'm not really trying to figure out if someone is an AH, it just sort of helps me figure this out.",AITA For Being Distant Towards My Friend?,YTA 10uipyr,"I (NB24) commented on a fic that while I love darkfic and while I respected the sufficient warning and while it was technically well written, it seemed needlessly cruel without an actual purpose or theme for the reader to interpret, and that I didn't get the point of the story, and that it missed the mark entirely. I said it fell flat and that I was really disappointed, because I love the author's other works.The writer called me an asshole for making uncalled-for comments. I think that what I said wasn't rude, just blunt. I don't know how to explain to someone that they did a terrible job without it being an insult, and I think the poor reaction was just because the writer didn't want to hear their fic wasn't good. There wasn't any malice or insults in the comment. Just because something is phrased in a rude way, that doesn't mean it isn't true or doesn't have valid criticism. Hate is of course not OK but it seems that every encapsulation of I Don't Like This is seen as innately negative and rude and I don't get it.Fandom is supposed to be welcoming, but the inability to leave honest comments is a form of censorship; it's ableism to police comments as only being allowed when written in an NT manner. I think there needs to be more leeway for people who can't express themselves in a stereotypical, NT customer-service rep way. I think everyone should be more lenient when interpreting comments on their works - why frame everything that isn't literally coddling, overprotective, and humoring as hate? Not being able to leave honest comments is actively exclusive of people who struggle with tone and I don't think ND people should have to learn to fix ourselves to be accepted.The author didn't even address any of the valid points I made, just yelled at me for saying it in the wrong way instead of coddling their feelings. My friends agree with me that they were ableist for being rude to me and not being accepting of my struggle with tone, but they deleted my comment. Am I really an asshole for wanting writers to be a little more reasonable and tolerant of the tonal quality of comments on fics?",AITA for leaving feedback on a fic?,YTA 10tr021,"25M, youngest of 4 siblings.Grew up in a mildly toxic background where parents divorced, a lot of interpersonal drama between my mother and relatives/partners (we were thrown out by my mother's former partner in the middle of the night several times and technically homeless for short periods), mother having regular outbursts about hating her life and taking it out on me or whoever was around. Relationship with two of my siblings have been contentious growing up. My older sister especially has an attitude problem. At 18 sought to live with my dad as I was tired of my mother breaking down her relationships and causing homelessness. I was studying at college and couldn't get peace at home as my mother had emotional outbursts at her partner because she didn't get her way.Managed to move and had a few years getting to know my dad. Was more stable and was able to focus on securing a job and saving money. Relationship with dad was ok, was emotionally dismissive when I was down but I told myself to suck it up.End of 2020 my dad sold his house to my sister and her family to live with his girlfriend. I was allowed to stay and continue paying board. I forgotten about my poor relationship with my sister and sadly was sorely reminded. I did what I could for her as she was a mother to a daughter. I was happy to share chores, unfortunately it was never to her standard. Even at 30 her attitude never improved and could not take responsibility for her wrongdoing. She several times tried unlocking and opening bathroom door from outside as I was on the toilet. I tell her I am on toliet and proceeds to get stroppy and mopey over telling her not to open the door despite being in a three toilet home. I try setting up boundaries and get treated like I am rude for just briefly saying ""Toilet"" before she tried to come in. All the little things on her behaviour accelerated my desire to move out and I am now living alone. I avoid my family as to be honest I experienced nothing but misery with them. Half of it was self-affliction on their parts.I am hesitant about finding a partner myself as to be honest I feel damaged and at a point where I perhaps cannot handle even a healthy relationship. I believe emotions have been weaponised within my family to manipulate each other into obligation and don't want to play the game anymore.Just want to be left alone.",AITA for wanting little to do with family,NTA -10tmwze,"Long term long distance best friend, C. I see C maybe three times a decade and the last time I saw them was pre covid. They have two partners who they have been with for several years. Neither myself nor my partner have ever met either of these partners. My fiance and I drew up two invitation lists ages ago, one with 30 people on it in case of covid restrictions (C was on this list), and one with about 120 people (including both of C’s partners). Once we found a venue and decided a budget, we had to finalise a list of 90 people. We decided that unless we know somebody well and consider them one of our friends, we wouldn’t invite them. So all the partners we didn’t know well came off, including some people we HAVE met. We knew that this is against wedding etiquette but it just didn’t feel right to spend £100 per head on people we don’t know at the expense of our loved ones. I had assumed that people would understand that this was about money, and not a personal thing, so we didn’t consider telling people in advance. In all cases other than C, this assumption has proved correct; no one else has mentioned there being a problem. I also assumed that C would be more offended by having one partner picked than neither, and we definitely couldn’t afford to invite both. Invitations arrived this week. One of my other bridesmaids, N, got hers first. N’s partner is our videographer so he is on the invitation but he isn’t quite a guest. N posted a pic of her invite in the group chat. C must have seen this and assumed that partners were invited. The next day I had a message from C asking for clarification if either of their partners were invited. I explained that we would love to have had them there, but that we couldn’t afford it and that it was just a blanket rule. C is very upset with me. They said that they felt humiliated not having either partner invited and that I put them in a horrible position when they opened their invite in front of their partners and then had to explain why neither of them were on it. C has also pointed out that they are disabled and that this should have been considered. We have made sure to choose fully accessible venues. As far as I know, C does not use a wheelchair and they are largely independent, but I should still have discussed this with them. I have done my best to explain, and I have apologised profusely for the fact that I didn’t mention it in advance. C has said that they don’t want to fight and we are having a productive conversation. C has said that choosing one partner to bring wouldn’t have been a problem and that I should have just asked them about it. I know I’m stupid for not just talking about it beforehand. I’m willing to change my mind and invite one or both of them to fix this. But I just need some thoughts on whether I was wrong for the decision not to invite them? Is this all on me or is C at fault too for their own assumption?",AITA for not inviting either of my bridesperson’s partners to my wedding?,YTA +10tmwze,"Long term long distance best friend, C. I see C maybe three times a decade and the last time I saw them was pre covid. They have two partners who they have been with for several years. Neither myself nor my partner have ever met either of these partners. +My fiance and I drew up two invitation lists ages ago, one with 30 people on it in case of covid restrictions (C was on this list), and one with about 120 people (including both of C’s partners). +Once we found a venue and decided a budget, we had to finalise a list of 90 people. We decided that unless we know somebody well and consider them one of our friends, we wouldn’t invite them. +So all the partners we didn’t know well came off, including some people we HAVE met. We knew that this is against wedding etiquette but it just didn’t feel right to spend £100 per head on people we don’t know at the expense of our loved ones. +I had assumed that people would understand that this was about money, and not a personal thing, so we didn’t consider telling people in advance. In all cases other than C, this assumption has proved correct; no one else has mentioned there being a problem. +I also assumed that C would be more offended by having one partner picked than neither, and we definitely couldn’t afford to invite both. +Invitations arrived this week. One of my other bridesmaids, N, got hers first. N’s partner is our videographer so he is on the invitation but he isn’t quite a guest. N posted a pic of her invite in the group chat. C must have seen this and assumed that partners were invited. +The next day I had a message from C asking for clarification if either of their partners were invited. I explained that we would love to have had them there, but that we couldn’t afford it and that it was just a blanket rule. +C is very upset with me. They said that they felt humiliated not having either partner invited and that I put them in a horrible position when they opened their invite in front of their partners and then had to explain why neither of them were on it. +C has also pointed out that they are disabled and that this should have been considered. We have made sure to choose fully accessible venues. As far as I know, C does not use a wheelchair and they are largely independent, but I should still have discussed this with them. +I have done my best to explain, and I have apologised profusely for the fact that I didn’t mention it in advance. C has said that they don’t want to fight and we are having a productive conversation. C has said that choosing one partner to bring wouldn’t have been a problem and that I should have just asked them about it. +I know I’m stupid for not just talking about it beforehand. I’m willing to change my mind and invite one or both of them to fix this. But I just need some thoughts on whether I was wrong for the decision not to invite them? Is this all on me or is C at fault too for their own assumption?",AITA for not inviting either of my bridesperson’s partners to my wedding?,YTA 10tyyp4,"I (24 f) had made prior plans with someone for the weekend to study. On the day of, another friend (24 f) invited me to have lunch. Without looking at the commute time, I said okay. After checking the commute, I realized that I would waste almost 2 hours of my day which seemed a lot. I let my same friend know as we were planning for it that it would be far for me and I have work. I gave her other options to meet another day, next weekend or even in the evening after I am done with some work. She straight up told me “don’t come, I am very irritated”. I apologized for not being able to make things work. Called her. She did not pick up and basically won’t talk to me. Am I the asshole in this?",AITA for canceling plans because of work?,YTA 10tjt4h,"For context: I am NB20 & My cousin is M13. We grew up close when he was a baby, he is on the autism spectrum but is high functioning. He was adopted by my grandmother when he was a baby, and she used to watch me and some of the older cousins when we where kids.So, recently I got a switch for Christmas and ever since my cousin has wanted to play video games with me. Minecraft, Pokémon, etc. Whenever I have time I try to play video games with him because I love the little dude, he’s like a little brother more then a little cousin. However; I work full time, go to online school part time, and still try to hangout and spend time with my friends. It’s a struggle for sure, especially when my only days off are Saturday & Sunday. I work 9 to 5 & 12 to 5/8/9 shifts depending on when my manager’s schedule me. So I haven��t been able to really play video games with him, but when I do have some time I end up playing with my friends when he’s not on. Where I think I am the A-Hole is that for the past few days he’s been trying to play games. However; I am either really tired when I get off work or I am already online playing with friends when he gets on. I get up to 5 or 6 missed calls from him every time. My phone is always on silent when I play so I never hear them. He’s been very frustrated and I just don’t know what I am supposed to do. I am hoping that today after I run some errands that I’ll be able to play video games with him, but he his just super upset. My grandmother texted me this morning saying that he didn’t even go do anything fun because “we made plans” to play video games and he thinks I am ignoring him. There where no plans, I said ‘I’ll try to play games with you tomorrow if I am able to when you get on’. I feel bad that he didn’t do anything because he was waiting for me to get on. That’s why I feel a little bit like the A-Hole. So, I am I the A-Hole for not playing video games with my little cousin?",AITA for not playing video games with my younger cousin?,NTA 10smvaa,"My (29F) family has always shown favouritism towards my younger sister and brother’s partners. They treat them like family but don't hide their dislike of the partners I've had. Recently my family have been planning a trip to korea this summer. We will be visiting my grandmother’s hometown as well as visiting other areas.The problem comes with the fact that both my sister’s (22F) boyfriend (23F) and my brother’s (26M) boyfriend (24M) have been invited to join us, however they haven't extended that invitation to my boyfriend (29M). When I brought this up my mother told me it's because he's not a long term partner. Which I call bullshit on, yes my siblings have been with their partners longer (sister 4 years, brother 5 years) but I've still been with my bf for just over a year.Personally I think it's a race thing. My sister’s bf is also Korean and my brother’s bf is Thai, while my bf is white. My family denies this and my grandmother says it's because he's disrespectful. The thing is he isn't, me and my siblings are all second generation immigrants and I just never took much interest in Korean culture, they however became obsessed with it at a young age. I just didn't engage much. Since it's not that important to me I never told my bf about any customs or what is and isn't appropriate to them. He's kind and nice to them, its just that he's not Korean or even Asian.I kept pushing to bring him and I kept being told no, so I said that if he isn't coming then I'm not either. Which very much hurt my family, family is important to them. I've had some time to cool off and I feel bad for hurting my family but i proud of myself for standing my ground, but I'm conflicted, so AITA?",AITA for refusing to come with my family on vacation if my bf isn't invited?,YTA @@ -873,7 +890,17 @@ post_id,post_content,post_title,verdict 10vpfad,"Apologies for the long post ahead. For some context: I (F21) have been dating my bf (M21) Ryan for the past 7-8 months. He is a born american with south asian family and I was born in south asia; moved to the states when I was 12. My cousin Akash (M24) is visiting the town for a few days. He lives by himself in a different state and doesn't have the best relationship with his parents so we don't see him much nowadays. Growing up I was really close with this cousin and a few others who are basically siblings to me since we all lived in the same block back in our home country. My parents invited him over for dinner and I drove him to my new apartment after dinner to show him my new place and hangout with two other cousins. My bf has met my other cousins but not him so he asked if he could join us and hangout and I said for sure. Akash and I were just catching up while everyone was on their way. During the conversation a lot of our childhood stories came up and I got sentimental. We were also bonding over some of the childhood trauma we experienced and how it affected us. I started sobbing as I was telling him how much I missed our group and I'm so happy we are all gonna be together after a long time. He consoled me and patted my head saying how proud he is of me that his little sister is now such a responsible grownup and stuff. My bf walked into the living room at that moment and saw me leaning my head on his shoulder and crying. He blurted out ""ayo what in the alabama shit is going on"" and started laughing hysterically. My face turned red in embarrassment and I could barely mumble ""what"". Akash stood up and firmly said ""excuse me? do we have a problem here?"" and asked me if this is my bf. Then I asked bf what's wrong with you? who starts a conversation like that? He got even more defensive and said ""dont desi people marry their cousins all the time? It's funny bc it's true."" Well I didn't find it funny and was enraging with embarrassment so I asked him to leave immediately before others get here. He tried to argue and say hi to Akash but I didn't leave any space for explanation and held the door open until he got out. I turned my phone off when he started blasting my phone with texts demanding to speak. My other cousins arrived shortly and we all had a great time catching up. When I woke up in the morning and turned my phone on I saw tons of missed calls and texts from my bf. He even posted some passive aggressive stuff on social media without mentioning my name. He said how I overreacted to a very simple joke and turned him into the bad guy and I said if your first thought is to make such a cheap disgusting joke in front of someone who you literally saw for the first time then you really need to work on your humor and hung up. I'm still very upset and embarrassed and asked Akash to not tell anyone about it yet. Was I TA here?",AITA for kicking my bf out after he made a joke which I found very inappropriate and disgusting?,NTA 10vikdv,"This is a throw away for reasons I (36m) my fiancé who we will call Alex (f36) and her daughter jules (13) all live together Alex’s ex husband was abusive. I kind off helped get them out of it but it was mostly Alex I’m not going to go into detail for reasons but anyway on to the story I was walking into the kitchen as Jules was making a sandwich she reached for a plate and didn’t grab it properly so it fell and shattered. No biggy I thought we have loads of plates but jules started to cry saying she was sorry over and over again and hyperventilating. I told her it’s alright and we can clean it up she ran into the living room and tripped she curled up into a ball and started to have a breakdown she kept repeating “don’t hurt me I’m sorry I didn’t mean too” I approached her like a scared animal because I didn’t know what else to do, I hugged her tightly and told her I wasn’t going to hurt and it was all right I got her calmed down and I decided to stay with her until her mom got home so we watched encanto together. I’m a part time farmer and I had to do the evening milking but didn’t want to leave her so I texted a friend and asked if he could. He said he could do it, I texted my dad and told him I couldn’t milk due to family emergency but it would be sorted When Alex got home I explained what happend and let the 2 of them talk. I went and checked the farm everything was fine friend didn’t have any problems. My mother asked me what was up and I told her to let it be (she’s not the best at keeping things secret) she blew up saying I was probably too busy “shagging Alex” and I’m a terrible son/farmer I don’t think I was an asshole for not telling her but I feel as though some outside input would help so AITA?Edit: Jules has never had a breakdown before but according to Alex when jules was younger she was at home with her bio dad and her favourite show was on she went and got a glass of water but ran back to the living room to not miss it she tripped and the glass broke her dad came in started yelling at her and threw stuff at her she was 5 at the time when Alex came home her ex was away to the pub and she found jules crying under her bed hugging her rabbit teddy so I’m thinking it might be repressed trauma she’s in therapy and Alex and jules are going for an emergency session tomorrow morning I’ve known jules for 2 years now and this is the first breakdown she’s had Her bio dad is prison now and is not allowed to request that either of them visit him",AITA for not telling my mom about my fiancé’s daughters mental breakdown,NTA 10vp6d9,"My wifes parents are M68 and F65, and have lost everything due to a failed business they took loans against their house on. They had to declare bankruptcy, and are too old to work, so currently they rent a small place. They pay for this place using the pension cheques from the government (basically nothing and just covers rent), along with an even split of money from me and my wife, and her three brothers to cover basic needs like food. My wife and I have done very well for ourselves and live in a house we own, go on vacations every year with our kids, and don’t really have any financial issue. Meanwhile her three younger brothers make much less than us, some aren’t married, and all rent a place. Recently they have come together and said that they shouldn’t have to pay since we are much better off than them, and we should instead take my in-laws into our home so they don’t have to contribute anymore and their government pension will cover the basic needs. I immediately said no, and they are all upset at me. My wife told me I should think it over (she is the eldest sibling by 8 years so I think she feel’s responsibility). However I said not gonna happen ever, and she said I am acting rude to them. I don’t mind them visiting for a weekend and sleeping over, but there is obviously a huge pandora box of problems waiting if I let them in permanently. I just want to know if I am justified in thinking this way (seems obvious but everyone is telling me I’m wrong) or if there is a better way to communicate this to them.",AITA for refusing to let my in-laws live with me?,NTA -10vhptw,"I’m a single dad with 3 kids full time (13f 12f & 9m) I have a 3 bedroom house and tried to make the sleeping arrangements as fair as possible. I took the smallest room as its just me and all i need is a bed and a cupboard, there is basically enough room around my bed to walk. My son gets the one that's a bit bigger but my girls share the room that is at least 2 times the size of mine. A while ago my eldest started seeing a psychologist because she was having a really rough time at school and it was causing a few issues elsewhere in her life. Since then she's moved schools been working through some stuff with her psychologist and is doing a lot better. So now she's focusing more on her home life. I don't go and sit in with all of her sessions but I do go in occasionally. Last week was one of them. She's been complaining about not having her own space and her sister annoying her. The psychs solution was that she gets my room and I share with my 12 year old. I certainly didn't commit to that but just let them talk it through. Get home and my 13yo starts packing up her stuff, sister asks what she's doing and she explains that her and I are swapping rooms. Needless to say the 12yo gets a bit pissed at that. I tell my eldest that we won't be swapping rooms and I won't be sharing a room with one of the kids. She now is claiming I'm the AH (not in those words) because I “promised” we would in the session with her psych, and I clearly don't care about her. I tried to talk about moving her into her brothers room and the 9yo and 12yo could share. But that was met by a lot of anger from the 12 yo who was very against sharing with her brother. Plus different bed times and all that get harder to work with. I can't easily move as selling this place and getting a loan for a new place wouldn't be easy on a single income, I bought this place when their mum was still around so had two incomes. So am I the AH for not sharing a room with my 12 year old so my eldest could get her own room.",AITA for not letting my daughter swap bedrooms.,NTA +10vhptw,"I’m a single dad with 3 kids full time (13f 12f & 9m) I have a 3 bedroom house and tried to make the sleeping arrangements as fair as possible. I took the smallest room as its just me and all i need is a bed and a cupboard, there is basically enough room around my bed to walk. My son gets the one that's a bit bigger but my girls share the room that is at least 2 times the size of mine. +A while ago my eldest started seeing a psychologist because she was having a really rough time at school and it was causing a few issues elsewhere in her life. +Since then she's moved schools been working through some stuff with her psychologist and is doing a lot better. So now she's focusing more on her home life. +I don't go and sit in with all of her sessions but I do go in occasionally. Last week was one of them. She's been complaining about not having her own space and her sister annoying her. +The psychs solution was that she gets my room and I share with my 12 year old. I certainly didn't commit to that but just let them talk it through. +Get home and my 13yo starts packing up her stuff, sister asks what she's doing and she explains that her and I are swapping rooms. Needless to say the 12yo gets a bit pissed at that. +I tell my eldest that we won't be swapping rooms and I won't be sharing a room with one of the kids. +She now is claiming I'm the AH (not in those words) because I “promised” we would in the session with her psych, and I clearly don't care about her. +I tried to talk about moving her into her brothers room and the 9yo and 12yo could share. But that was met by a lot of anger from the 12 yo who was very against sharing with her brother. Plus different bed times and all that get harder to work with. +I can't easily move as selling this place and getting a loan for a new place wouldn't be easy on a single income, I bought this place when their mum was still around so had two incomes. +So am I the AH for not sharing a room with my 12 year old so my eldest could get her own room.",AITA for not letting my daughter swap bedrooms.,NTA 10vhwmx,"I (37F) have a close friend (39F) who needs therapy. She asked if I could send her my therapist’s information (I have a good therapist) and I feel extremely uncomfortable about her seeing my therapist. Is this normal to feel weird about this? AITA? TL;DR: close friend asked to see my therapist for help and it makes me uncomfortableEdit to add: I’m not uncomfortable because I think they’ll talk about me, I know that’s illegal and I know he wouldn’t disclose my information to another client of his.Second edit: I’ve never discussed this friend with my therapist and wouldn’t have a reason to do so, it isn’t a fear of my personal information being disclosed, etc",WIBTA if I asked my best friend to not see my therapist and pick another?,NTA 10vq88t,"Me and my ex girlfriend Kayla have two children S (8m) and D (15f). We broke up 6 years ago and we have 50/50 custody and I pay her child support. I make 50k per year and she gets about 1k per month. She has never worked, even before we had the kids. Me and my girlfriend Serenity have been together for 4 years and both my kids love her! She's so sweet, incredibly smart and so hardworking. She has her own business and makes 100k a year. Kayla, Serenity and I all grew up extremely poor and I got my new job 5 years ago so I can better provide for my kids and I know the struggle.The problem is, we have a completely different lifestyle in our home than Kaylas home. We live a typical middle class lifestyle and Kayla lives how we used to live on government assistance, in a bad neighborhood and uses public transportation. Serenity saved for 6 months to buy a luxury Lexus SUV. She's always wanted one and we shared my car while she was saving. She posted a video of the car on Instagram and the keys.My daughter sent Kayla the post and she went off. She called me and told me how dare my girlfriend ride around comfortably while my children are living in the hood. She said my daughter cries sometimes when she gets back home because Serenity has luxury bags and clothes and makeup but I don't buy that stuff for her. I told her I can't afford that stuff because I'm too busy putting the money in her college fund and that unlike her, I don't just get handed money. She says I need to get a better job so I can pay more child support. I told her absolutely not. She called my mother and my mother said I need to get a better job and do what's best for the kids. I can get a better paying job and work for Serenity, but I refuse to do so just so Kayla can have more of my money that I work hard for. I know my kids don't have the best lifestyle at their moms but if it's such an issue with Kayla she should get a damn job like I did. She then went on Facebook and made a post about how my girlfriend drives around in a luxury vehicle but my daughter take the bus to school. Everyone commented that I am a POS and I need a better job.AITA for refusing to get a better job to pay more child support?",AITA for not getting a better job so I can pay more child support?,NTA 10vtigm,"For context : My Daughter is five years old and my niece is as well ( I’ll call my niece Lucy in this situation) . Lucy has consistently placed her hands on my daughter numerous amounts of times such as ; hitting , pinching , hair pulling , and even biting . Here lately Lucy has expressed a new interest in cussing and she will often use swears at my daughter (not just one or two but full on sentences of cussing my daughter out because she doesn’t do what Lucy wants) . I have talked to my mother in law various amounts of times and she always makes excuses for her saying she is only 5 . I talked to Lucy’s mom as well and nothing has been done to fix the situation . Lucy is never disciplined or explained to why the use of her words and actions are wrong , it’s always brushed off and they expect my daughter to just take it and ignore it because their cousins . My daughter came crying to me about this consistent abuse and treatment from her cousin and how she feels uncomfortable having Lucy at her party and around her friends , due to the nature of how Lucy is . Lucy’s mom took great offense to her daughter not being invited and said all sorts of hateful things and even targeted me for being malicious towards a five year old because I didn’t want her at my daughters party. AITA ?",AITA for not inviting my niece to my daughters birthday party?,NTA @@ -1060,7 +1087,17 @@ post_id,post_content,post_title,verdict 10vs4xq,"So I 15m let my friend 15m borrow my school laptop charger in English last Friday. He typically asks me during English class to borrow it and I do and he usually gives it back to me after class so I don’t have to ask him. Last Friday we were playing a game in English since we finished our work and I forgot to ask him for it back no biggie I had it at 100% anyway and I figured he would give it back to me on Monday. Well come Monday and I asked him where it is and now he is claiming he flat out doesn’t have it. I told him that he was the last one who had my charger and we argued back and forth but I didn’t want it to turn into a fight so we stopped there but I definitely know he has it. It’s fine if he took it home with him by accident cause that happens. I’m just confused because he is the only person who usually ever asks for my charger and no one else has. So I told my mom about it and she said I am too nice and need to be assertive. Also side note, me and my friend have been friends since Kindergarten but grew apart and are in different friend groups and don’t talk much and I am scared of confronting him and he is kinda bold and loud and I am scared he is gonna start getting mad at me and getting agressive and it turning into a fight cause that’s what I feel like will happen since he can be like that sometimes. But WIBTA for trusting my gut instinct and going up and confronting him for this? I know that for a fact he was last to use it but I am just scared about how I should go about this. What should I do?",WIBTA if I confronted him?,NTA 10vmomh,"Some background: my (31F) best friend ""Ryan"" (38M) quit his 6-figure office job in 2019, was unemployed for most of 2020 and 2021, and started following his dreams of becoming a production designer/prop master for film and TV in 2022. As a result of being unemployed for so long and trying to get started as a beginner in a volatile industry, he is deeply in debt. And as a production designer he can pretty much justify buying anything because maybe it will be useful as a prop in the future.However, I also think he has somewhat of a shopping addiction? Whenever I see him he has new electronics, or tools, or designer clothes, and justifies it through some complicated credit card scheme or says he thinks his mom can be convinced pay off his debt, or that he will be making more as a production designer in the future. I think he procrastinates on looking for work or tries to avoid thinking about finding work by buying expensive things, and it stresses me out. A few days ago he mentioned that his mom came into some money and might be offering to buy him a house if he is successful in his career, so we discussed the possibility of buying a duplex together in the future.Yesterday we were at brunch with some friends and he asked if he should buy an expensive 3D printer that he could probably use to make props for work. Everyone said ""yeah that sounds like fun"" but I gave a definite ""no absolutely not"" because I know him well enough to know he just came up with this idea while procrastinating on updating his portfolio and promoting his business. Since we were with other people I didn't say out loud that it's because he has a shopping addiction and is making poor financial choices, and being overly dependent on the women in his life to bail him out, but that was the subtext. He got mad at me for being so worried about what he buys, and I also looked pretty not-fun at brunch for shutting down his creativity.I can't tell if I'm an asshole for enabling him to dig himself deeper into debt, or if I'm an asshole for not minding my own business. Part of me wants to just agree to not talk about money with him, but if we buy a house together or if I have to bail him out of something then we will definitely have to.",AITA for publicly telling my prop designer friend he shouldn't buy a 3D printer,NTA 10vgrnl,"I was in a 2,5 year domestic relationship going through a rough patch when my then partner suddenly left 6 months ago. But this is another story...We used to spend a lot of time at her mom's in the mountains so one day I came across a good opportunity and bought a small property nearby. One day we visited the property to a beautiful sunset, then we went to a nice restaurant around the corner, where we used the table cover to draw sketches, write notes and plans to eventually build a house there. She took pictures of the sketches, of us, posted them and our friends and family reacted with joy.Fast forward to now. I stumble upon her ig feed, which seems to have moved into something more 'professional' recently. She keeps past pictures of us, which doesn't make me sad or anything - I'm not on any social networks. Although, I can't help being upset by our ""house project"" sketch being featured there. To passers by, another item that matches her portfolio (she is an architect), to me and people that know us, an epitaph of a dream that has never been...Fair note: the sketch is not featured alone as 'work', if you swipe there are other pictures of us in the set. Still, it conveniently fits the portfolio narrative.Edit: the sketch was made equally by both of us and is not a professional work of architecture.",WIBTA if I asked my ex to take down the sketches of our would be house from her Instagram feed?,YTA -10vfxql,"Sorry for the grammar, English is not my first language. I (25F) am an international student in USA. I came with my best friend. We rent a 2B apartment together. All this start 2 months before our lease ended. My cousin (28F) was working in other state, and she was planning to move to the state that I currently live. So she ask me if she and her friend can move with us. We were thinking move in with another friend but I prioritize my cousin and her friend because of family. So we start to look for 4B apartment with no luck. Then our landlord ask us if we gonna stay and increase our rent 20%. Me and best friend can’t afford that by ourselves so we agree to renewing the lease and live the 4 girls in our apartment for 1 year. When they move in, they don’t have a job. Start looking and my cousin were jumping for work to work because she doesn’t feel the right vibes but always complaining about money. We have fights about chores of the house all started by my cousin, she like to be in control and manage everyone. She starts saying that she wasn’t feel ok here. That her mental health was bad so she one day she said to us she is gonna go back to the state where she was with her friend. Her friend wasn’t happy because they didn’t discuss it and my cousin said to her just come. We were worried about the rent but they assure they gonna continuous paying. Long story short they try to work but for my cousin things weren’t the same there, so they come back a week later. At the end of last year my cousin get sick and must go the hospital twice. Everyone was taking care of her even my friend group who she don’t treat that well try to help as much as they could. She get better but then she blame not having enough money, the state and the apartment for bad vibes that make her sick. So she plan to go back to the other state in secret and take her friend. But in this case she didn’t want to follow her and prefer staying with us. She went for a 3 moths Job so she left almost all her things here. And again she was going to pay for rent $300. She said yes cause there she wasn’t gone to pay rent and transportation cause the work include it. Now that she is there she said that she is no gonna pay because she don’t have money and don’t live here. Now the 3 of us are stuck with the rent, that is too expensive. She only talk to me because she block and scream to her friend for not following her. I try to talk to her for a solution like if she expected of us breaking the lease. Or if she is going to find anyone to sublease but she’s telling that is not her problem cause legally I never make her sign anything, so if we keep ask her to pay she can easily find a lawyer and she is gonna win cause verbal agreement doesn’t mean anything. Everyone is in our side but she is saying constantly that I’m a asshole cousin for demanding to pay and not caring her mental health. So I want to know AITA?",AITA for wanting my cousin to continue paying rent even though she no longer lives here,NTA +10vfxql,"Sorry for the grammar, English is not my first language. I (25F) am an international student in USA. I came with my best friend. We rent a 2B apartment together. All this start 2 months before our lease ended. My cousin (28F) was working in other state, and she was planning to move to the state that I currently live. So she ask me if she and her friend can move with us. We were thinking move in with another friend but I prioritize my cousin and her friend because of family. So we start to look for 4B apartment with no luck. Then our landlord ask us if we gonna stay and increase our rent 20%. Me and best friend can’t afford that by ourselves so we agree to renewing the lease and live the 4 girls in our apartment for 1 year. + +When they move in, they don’t have a job. Start looking and my cousin were jumping for work to work because she doesn’t feel the right vibes but always complaining about money. We have fights about chores of the house all started by my cousin, she like to be in control and manage everyone. + +She starts saying that she wasn’t feel ok here. That her mental health was bad so she one day she said to us she is gonna go back to the state where she was with her friend. Her friend wasn’t happy because they didn’t discuss it and my cousin said to her just come. We were worried about the rent but they assure they gonna continuous paying. Long story short they try to work but for my cousin things weren’t the same there, so they come back a week later. + +At the end of last year my cousin get sick and must go the hospital twice. Everyone was taking care of her even my friend group who she don’t treat that well try to help as much as they could. She get better but then she blame not having enough money, the state and the apartment for bad vibes that make her sick. So she plan to go back to the other state in secret and take her friend. But in this case she didn’t want to follow her and prefer staying with us. She went for a 3 moths Job so she left almost all her things here. And again she was going to pay for rent $300. She said yes cause there she wasn’t gone to pay rent and transportation cause the work include it. + +Now that she is there she said that she is no gonna pay because she don’t have money and don’t live here. Now the 3 of us are stuck with the rent, that is too expensive. She only talk to me because she block and scream to her friend for not following her. I try to talk to her for a solution like if she expected of us breaking the lease. Or if she is going to find anyone to sublease but she’s telling that is not her problem cause legally I never make her sign anything, so if we keep ask her to pay she can easily find a lawyer and she is gonna win cause verbal agreement doesn’t mean anything. + +Everyone is in our side but she is saying constantly that I’m a asshole cousin for demanding to pay and not caring her mental health. So I want to know AITA?",AITA for wanting my cousin to continue paying rent even though she no longer lives here,NTA 10vfx6e,"I will start by saying both my parents would always work with my mom making the most and helping with the bills with my dad. My mom got injuries at work 6 months ago and has been out of work in the Pursue of suing for workers comp as they denied her case and haven’t been paying her. It’s been miserable since my mom stopped working because bills would turn off and we’d have to get new services because my dad won’t step up to pay his portion off the bill when I was paying my bill then on top everyone’s. she has no money and my dad doesn’t give her any knowing the situation even money for her medications he knows she needs to take for her medical condition but he still constantly argues about her paying bills when she has no money and he knows this. They are married living together so it would put me at having to give her money for her appointments and having her use my car because it’s electric even after I gave her my old Prius to use but she doesn’t because she can’t put gas in it. She gets mad at me, saying that I treat her like a burden when I don’t but secretly it feels that way. I myself pay my own bills on top of paying for the groceries in the house so having to on top give her my money when I don’t make nearly as much as both my parents do becomes draining. On top of this I’m guilt tripped to miss work to take her to her doctor appointments when she knows I have work. My dad with unlimited PTO won’t and he knows I work as well and doesn’t respect that or even try to take off earlier to take her to some of her earlier appointments, this leading to me having to miss work and pay or constantly have to pay to charge my car because she uses it to drive it to her appointments that are usually over 40 miles away from our house. I moved back home with the purpose of saving up to take my MCAT and for when I go to med school I can get an apartment but I haven’t been able to do that since moving home because of this. I’m constantly guilt tripped about how I should be paying bills in the house and I believe I shouldn’t because I buy all the groceries on top of paying my bills and then internet and over $100 in subscriptions that my parents also use and never offer to help to pay towards. I am mentally and emotionally exhausted of living with my parents and being guilt tripped by my dad constantly to pay his bills when I contribute on top of feeling guilted into paying for things for my mom and to miss work because take her to her appointments when when she is married to my dad and I feel that is his responsible as her husband. I really want and need help because I don’t know what to do I just feel like I’ll never be able to save up any money to take my MCAT so I can go to medical school or get my own apartment again because of this it’s already been a year and my dad constantly pressures me saying me saying I’ll go to medical school was a lie. When I’m reality I just can’t save my money because of this. AITA?",AITA for being tired of my mom being out of work,NTA 10vkg9t,"**Wedding #1**Recently a couple my husband and I are friends with asked us to be in their wedding parties. We were surprised because we didn’t know they felt that close to us, but were honored they had asked and we said we couldn’t wait to celebrate with them. We've known them for 5 years and see them 3-4x a year, as they live a few hours away. We don’t know their friends or families that well, but we’re social and get along well with everybody. We knew their wedding was in the winter, but weren’t thinking about the exact date in the moment.**Wedding #2**We just realized the date is on the same day as a wedding for very dear friends of ours who let us know their wedding date over 2 years ago. We’ve known these other friends for over a decade, vacation with them, and see them fairly often. While we are not in their wedding (they have big families), we are so excited to celebrate this milestone along side them and feel much closer to them. We also have a large group of close friends that will be attending the wedding, so we will know a lot of the people going and have an absolute blast.**WIBTA**WIBTA if we go back to Wedding #1 friends and apologize and say we can’t be in their wedding? We would still love to help organize the Bachelor/Bachelorette parties and Bridal Shower and celebrate, and we will send a gift, but we won’t make the ceremony. We feel terrible about this, but we feel like guilt is the only reason we’d be a part of a wedding party with people we don’t feel super close to.Also if we aren't the assholes and you have any advice as to how best navigate this, please share. We love them and don't want to hurt their feelings.Edit: Weddings are next winter, so about 9 months away. And yes we definitely should’ve checked our calendars first, won’t make that mistake again.","WIBTA for saying yes to being in a wedding, but then backing out due to another wedding?",NTA 10vh0cn,"A couple of weeks ago I (28F), and three of my colleagues (Abby 27F, Bella 40F and Cassie 42F) decided to go on a weekend trip. We have been working together for a year now and all get on pretty well and have similar interests.Midway through Saturday Abby felt unwell. She suspected she'd eaten something that upset her tummy and decided to go home alone.That night Bella randomly expressed some extreme views on religion and abortion. Neither myself nor Cassie had brought up things even tangentially related. At first I did worry Cassie had similar views because they've worked together a lot longer and Bella was so comfortable to say these things I assumed she knew she would be supported, but when I said ''I disagree and think we should leave it there'' Cassie agreed with me.This made Bella burst into tears. It was really weird. She continued to cry on and off for a couple of hours. She directly told us we were both going to hell, for different offenses, and so were specific members of our family for various reasons. Each time myself or Cassie tried to shutdown the conversation, as we could both see it was going nowhere and there was no convincing to be had on either side, she would cry harder, accusing us of ganging up on her and breaking her heart by ''fighting against salvation''.I have since distanced myself entirely from Bella. Her views are honestly much too extreme for me. I did not tell anyone what had happened, but Abby noticed the sudden shift. We are the only four women in our department, and we used to frequently grab dinner and such which I now decline. Abby kept asking about why shut Bella out and eventually I told her. I did not go into huge detail, just said we had conflicting moral views and I felt uncomfortable being around her now I know how she views myself and my family.Abby went to Bella to confirm and Bella went into more detail. Abby does not agree with her at all and has since iced her out too. This has caused Bella to post tirades on social media (other colleagues have shown me as I removed her from my social media), claiming we are socially ostracizing her, bullying her and attempting to pressure her to fall into our ''sinful ideologies''.Now people in the wider office space are aware of her extreme stances and a lot them are avoiding her. She came to my house uninvited and told me I had no right to discuss our private conversation with people that were not there and that I am causing her to lose job opportunities by gossiping about her...I don't think IATA for speaking up and disagreeing with her that evening, but I'm wondering if I'm TA for telling Abby and inadvertently causing our workplace in general to find out? When I first started working here last year Bella was the most supportive and helpful person to me. I had no inkling she held these extreme views and my guess is no one else had any idea either and would still view her positively if I hadn't spoken about our conversation.",AITA for telling a colleague about a conversation I had with my other colleagues?,NTA @@ -1510,7 +1547,23 @@ post_id,post_content,post_title,verdict 10xngxw,"I'll preface by saying this, my parents are genuinely good people, good for each other? Probably not.I21M), come from a family where every kind of hardship you can imagine, we've faced. I'm not poor by any means, but in my childhood, we kind of were. Now onto the issue, my parents each have trauma of their, and I'm talking about serious trauma, which, they never got the help for. They were good people(still are), who were betrayed by their family, friends, and even strangers. Now this has caused rifts between them, and those rifts have created collisions, very often. Nothing physical at all, just lot of words from both sides. This has been going on since I was a child. They fight, I mediate,which I know is wrong now. I had to be a support system for both my parents and their trauma. For an example, I used to get bullied a lot, but I could never tell my parents, I used to wipe my tears, clean myself up, and just try to resolve whatever was going on between them, this was, not overy often, but still had a constant frequency. When I left home for college, I realised coming here, what is the meaning of being treated your age. In my home, I was a child, treated like a man, here, even if everything was not fun, I still found it an environment where I didn't feel suffocated. Then come the lockdown, where I had to return to my home. While everyone celebrated going home, I dreaded it. Then, came the fights, more vicious, more toxicity, there was never a physical aspect to it, which I don't know why I am specifying it. There used to be times, wherein, due to stress I ripped my hair out, used to cry in fetal position and used to mediate their fights, trying to make them understand each other's prespective. My parents would see me in such a state, apologise and then it would repeat. When lockdown ended, I made a promise to never go back ever again for my sake. In the past 2 years, I've visited them for a week, I've reduced me calling them(I used to do it thrice a day, to make sure they are not at each other's throat or their health is ok).Since then, I've been told by them, that I've changed, I'm not the ideal son I was anymore and more and more such things. I suffer from effects of their fighting, Whenever I see someone fighting,I start shivering, having migraines, and somehow, my brain just freezes and gives me flashbacks of the times when my parents used to fight. I plan to do therapy, once I'm financially independent, because this story is just a part, I have faced a lot more from many people.So, onto the question, my mother called me and asked me why aren't I coming for holidays, I simply told her the truth, and now she is mad at me. I feel guilty, as they are old and have no one else(I do have an older sister). So, am I the asshole, for not visiting them more often?P.S : I apologise for the wall of text, haven't really told anyone this for years, once I started, there was no stopping",AITA for not visiting parents more often?,NTA 10xibao,"My wife has handled our finances for our whole marriage. We both have great jobs, but always seem to struggle financially. I always attributed this to the cost of raising children, but recently, due to some digging I had done when I found out she had been talking to another guy daily, I found out she has taken out numerous payday loans and cash advances, totaling thousands of dollars in recent years behind my back. In addition to that, she has defaulted on several credit cards. Once she figured out I was going through her phone, she changed her password. All of the sudden one day, she asked me to bring home all of my pay stubs from work and didn’t really give me a reason.I refused, and we had a pretty serious fight.Eventually, we came up with the compromise that I would give them to her if she took the password off her phone.She agreed, so I brought them to her. But all of the sudden, she refuses to change her password, saying she has a right to privacy with nothing to hide.Am I wrong for not trusting her?",AITA For not trusting my wife,NTA 10xjcbu,"So our housecleaner has been coming since mid-December, almost every week, but sometimes every other week. We live in a rural area. Housekeeper wanted (and we paid him) $25/hr plus tip, usually an additional $25-$50. They would stay between three to five hours, depending on what was getting cleaned. Never had a single complaint. The home is less than 2000 sq feet, with the biggest issue being dog hair. I work from home and need minimal distractions, so my spouse gave the cleaner a list of items to do today. The housecleaner left abruptly after 15 minutes. We assume it was due to the list, but I could not be interrupted today due to work meetings. Plus, we didn't want to forget things. We thought the to do list would be most appropriate and helpful (since cleaning needs vary each week). But it seems like the housekeeper ghosted us and/or was offended (won't respond to texts, didn't communicate what the issue was, left abruptly,etc.) AITA for providing the housecleaner a to do list? Is this normal?",AITA house cleaner left,NTA -10xlilc,"My husband has ADHD. He’s a lengthy talker and often cuts people off in conversation. The other thing he does frequently is repeat himself, the combination of these three things really bother me somedays. We’re in the beginning phases of getting a pool installed and are getting bids from multiple companies. We’ve talked with four companies, the first three he completely dominated the conversation not allowing me to speak, any time I would start talking it reminded him of something he forgot to say (or at least I think) and he takes whatever I started to say and runs with it. Today a contractor came to our house and I told my husband in a joking manner, “don’t overtake the conversation, let me do some talking”, he laughed and said “ok, I’ll be quiet”. That lasted not more than 5 seconds because he went into overdrive and the word vomit began. He got quiet for a moment so I started talking and sure enough he cut me off. I sat down and diverted my attention to my laptop and said I was just going to get my work done as there’s no need for me to be a part of the conversation if I can’t get a sentence in. Later on my husband asked me why I seemed agitated, I explained how he’s long winded and constantly cuts me off. His response was “I’m going to remove myself from anything to do with the pool and let you handle it all. It’s not fun to me, and you’re bothered when I ask questions or give feedback”, of course he went on for several minutes. When he was done, I told him that it’s not my place to tell him what to do and that if he chooses to not be involved that that’s his choice, he cuts me off AGAIN and starts going on about how he’s stepping away and how his talking is a problem for me, etc… I then cut him off and told him that I was tired of him repeating himself, over talking me and talking for extended lengths of time. He told me I was talking down to him and being disrespectful, he then put his earbuds in to end the conversation. After a few mins he takes the earbuds out to try telling me something, I told him I wasn’t listening since he decided to be rude and end the conversation the way he did. He then proceeds to text all of the vendors we’ve been working with this message- “Good evening, XXXX!!! Hey I’m going to be tied up with some other projects the upcoming weeks and I will not be able to be involved that much with the pool nor decisions. Please run everything thru XXXX. Her best contact is her cell phone. XXX-XXX-XXXX.” Like WTH, I don’t think he realizes how much he talks nor how repetitive he is. It’s truly exhausting sometimes. AITA?",AITA for telling my husband (who has untreated ADHD) my frustration with the way he communicates?,NTA +10xlilc,"My husband has ADHD. He’s a lengthy talker and often cuts people off in conversation. The other thing he does frequently is repeat himself, the combination of these three things really bother me somedays. + +We’re in the beginning phases of getting a pool installed and are getting bids from multiple companies. We’ve talked with four companies, the first three he completely dominated the conversation not allowing me to speak, any time I would start talking it reminded him of something he forgot to say (or at least I think) and he takes whatever I started to say and runs with it. + +Today a contractor came to our house and I told my husband in a joking manner, “don’t overtake the conversation, let me do some talking”, he laughed and said “ok, I’ll be quiet”. That lasted not more than 5 seconds because he went into overdrive and the word vomit began. He got quiet for a moment so I started talking and sure enough he cut me off. I sat down and diverted my attention to my laptop and said I was just going to get my work done as there’s no need for me to be a part of the conversation if I can’t get a sentence in. + +Later on my husband asked me why I seemed agitated, I explained how he’s long winded and constantly cuts me off. His response was “I’m going to remove myself from anything to do with the pool and let you handle it all. It’s not fun to me, and you’re bothered when I ask questions or give feedback”, of course he went on for several minutes. + +When he was done, I told him that it’s not my place to tell him what to do and that if he chooses to not be involved that that’s his choice, he cuts me off AGAIN and starts going on about how he’s stepping away and how his talking is a problem for me, etc… I then cut him off and told him that I was tired of him repeating himself, over talking me and talking for extended lengths of time. He told me I was talking down to him and being disrespectful, he then put his earbuds in to end the conversation. + +After a few mins he takes the earbuds out to try telling me something, I told him I wasn’t listening since he decided to be rude and end the conversation the way he did. He then proceeds to text all of the vendors we’ve been working with this message- + +“Good evening, XXXX!!! Hey I’m going to be tied up with some other projects the upcoming weeks and I will not be able to be involved that much with the pool nor decisions. Please run everything thru XXXX. + +Her best contact is her cell phone. XXX-XXX-XXXX.” + +Like WTH, I don’t think he realizes how much he talks nor how repetitive he is. It’s truly exhausting sometimes. AITA?",AITA for telling my husband (who has untreated ADHD) my frustration with the way he communicates?,NTA 10ximsg,"Hi everyone! My best friend, Anthony is getting married next year. He has asked me to be his best man few days ago as he does not have a brother. Of course I accepted it gracefully, and I wanted to be there for him. His Fiancee, Melissa has a disabled brother, Caleb who is special needs. Caleb is going to be the groomsman. Anthony has told me that he has apparently spoken to Melissa and her parents about this, and they agreed that it would be a safer option if Caleb was the groomsman as he may not be able to take on so much pressure.I have met Caleb and I love him. I feel guilty that Anthony asked me over Caleb as Caleb and Anthony has such a very close and a beautiful bond and plus, Caleb may have been dreaming of being someone's best man, and he was not even in the wedding party for Melissa's sister, Pam's wedding.I want to ask Anthony to make Caleb and I co-best mans. I feel like it is the right thing as it will strength the bond between Caleb and Anthony even more while keeping everyone happy. It feels just right to have Caleb be an even bigger part as they will be future brother-in-laws. I have spoken to Melissa's other sister, Pam, and Pam loves the idea, but she said it would be better if I was because Caleb will not be able to handle majority of the duties, and it may add onto to the pressure and make him overwhelmed. I told Pam that it is why I will be there right beside Caleb all the way, and so will Anthony. And if any issue happen, I can happily take over or help Caleb if necessary and so can Anthony. Pam also said that it was unlikely that the idea will even happen because it was agreed upon by everyone.so WIBTA if I asked Anthony to change the best man position and make Caleb and I co-best man?",WIBTA if I asked the groom to change his best man?,YTA 10xo8ds,"My family and I live in a small island community, much like a small town. Everyone knows and helps each other, no one keeps their doors locked, etc. My husband and I moved here when our children were just 1 & 3, so this is the only community they’ve ever really known. We’re pretty remote, and so we rarely get tourists or other outsiders come in out. My children now 13F and 15M, have grown up pretty accustomed to not having to deal with other people. My son has always been very own and extroverted, and never shy about his body. Since he was little, whenever he’s at any of the beaches on the island, he won’t be wearing anything, including a swimsuit. My husband and I never discouraged this, we didn’t want to raise him to be anxious about his own body. We expected it would stop, but it never really did.Recently a new couple moved in, and this summer while they were busting the beach they saw my son. He was swimming alter playing badminton with two of his friends. They looked around with some disgust and later they came over to us and asked if they knew who his parents were. When I asked why, the woman said “he looks like he’s being neglected.” When I told him that WE were his parents and explained why we aren’t bothered they nearly fell over with contempt. The man started to go in a tangent about how it’s inappropriate to “be like that in public” and that I was “lessening the community”. I tried to assure these people that everything was perfectly fine and any bad behaviour would be known, but they gave us the complete cold shoulder. One time, while my son was out surfing, he came back to his towel to find a swimsuit with the tag still on it for him. The next time they saw me tried AGAIN to convince me to mandate suit-wearing, but I just walked away. The whole thing just reeks of pretentiousness and a holy-than-thou attitude. But am I really doing something wrong? Am I endangering him by letting him go about like that? Is the rest of the community bothered by this?",AITA for not making my son wear a swimsuit?,YTA 10xhobo,I’m supposed to attend a wedding in Asia (14 hour flight) next week. It’s my girlfriends best friend- she’s the maid of honor. My elderly father unexpectedly needs to have heart surgery while I’ll be away and I don’t feel comfortable leaving him. AITA for dropping out and asking my GF to go alone? She doesn’t feel totally comfortable traveling alone- and has hinted she would be embarrassed to be there alone not as a couple,"AITA- Can’t attend destination wedding with girlfriend, elderly father needs surgery",NTA @@ -1699,7 +1752,21 @@ post_id,post_content,post_title,verdict 10wwpvv,"My wife seems to think it's ok to talk about ex boyfriends and even asked me if she was the ahole because someone who liked her was turned down because their parents were dating. So I'm asking if you think she's the ahole for continually bringing up former flames, and even wants my am I the ahole comments on past situations. I mean I could be the ahole because I don't want to talk to my wife about former lovers or flames that she has had. Her argument was that she just asked a question. I could have just answered it. I guess, just tired of ex lovers and flames being on the talking table.",AITA when I don't want to talk about ex's and past flames,NTA 10x615h,"So, I just need to understand Am I the AH here. I know I’ m for first part. But the second? So I have (had) a very close friend - like realy close. I asked her if she and her familiy if wanted to celebrate NY together in November. She said (Lets call her Jess) - of course. We have a history of me changing plans last minute and I know it bothers her a lot. Somewhere in december I invited to NY celebration another friend (Lets call her Carol) and her husband. They also are friends with Jess. I forgot to tell her I invited them - I know stupid, but december is a hell for me with kids. So few days prior in common chat with them I started asking about food preferences with Jess and Carol. Carol was responding, Jess was not. She wrote she will not attend - no explanation. I spent a day thinking what’s wrong, she blocked me on chat. I realized I did not share I had invited Carol. I called her to aplogize. She did not pick up. I profoundly aplogized in message and said that yes, I should have informed her prior. She said - it’s not Carol, as they are friends, but me being disrecpectful and not informing her. I aplogized again and said I understand she does not want to come and I oversteped boundaries by not informing her. I understand why she’s angry and I’m really sorry as it really slipped my mind but that’s not excuse. So we had NY without Jess. It’s been more than a month and she ignores my every attempt to reach out. And it hurts as she was really my good friend. I tried to apologize many times and said I do understand her. But I do feel that the ignorance is not worth the crime. I know I’m the AH for not checking prior but I’m really hurting as it seems due to this she has cut me off. As for before that - we had some disagreements but overall we shared messages each day. I really loved her and time with her. So I guess I’m asking if me being AH for not checking with her prior inviting other guests makes me AH to cut all contact? And yes, intially I indicated we would be only 2 families - me and Jesse’s. She’s good friend with Carol - and they meet sometimes seperately. Even after NY. So it’s not dislaike for her or her husband. Carols and Jeses husbands are friends.",AITA for mistake from my side regarding NY,YTA 10x8tqc,"I (M26) have 2 very close friends (both M24) who basically grow up together and went to the same school until halfway to college. We'll call them B1 and B2. All of us were expats but they were living with their families and I was living solo. Due to this, I used to getting invited to each of their family's occasions, holidays etc. So I became a family friend to both of them. Recently they have a falling out. B1 discovered that B2 was making moves on his GF (yeah this is really a shitty thing that B2 did). When I talked to B2 about it, he was aware about the consequences of his actions and he knew that he would risk destroying his friendship with B1. B1 wanted to cut-off B2 which I totally understand. B1 also told me that his beef is only with B2 and I should not be involved in it. If I still want to be friends with B2 , it's ok with him. He also wants to keep it a secret and asked me not to tell anyone including their parents and friends in our circle.I usually hang out with B1 as we live in the same area. However, every time I hang out with B2, B1 would usually send me passive-aggressive messages (ex. send me pictures of a snake, telling me take care you're with a snake). I just laugh it off and brush it off as a joke. It is also now hard to arrange hanging-out with our other friends who are still clueless as I don't want either of them to be left out. Until recently when I hang-out with B2, B1 would ignore me. When I try to talk to him, he would give responses like go hang-out with your snake friend. Yeah I know he's Angry and has every right to be.I just don't know where to place myself because I can't simply cut-off B2 also. I feel like I'd be the asshole if my friendship with B1 implodes because I chose to still become friends with a ""Snake""",WIBTA If my friendship implodes because I'm still hanging out with a friend who cheated another friend?,YTA -10wx7pd,"So I (F19) dropped out of university last year and I’ve been living at home since. I was working full time but now I do part-time 9 am-2 pm shifts so I can do the school run for my parent. I don’t pay rent, I just do the weekly shopping. About two weeks ago I sustained a large first-degree burn on the back of my hand. I didn’t want to bother my parents, because it was late. Yet after a few hours of attempting first aid, I realised I needed to go to A&E. Surprisingly my mum was still awake, so I told her I’d get an Uber to the hospital and she said no, she’d drop me there instead. I was grateful, of course. Currently, my hand is healing and no longer extremely painful but is still an open wound. At home I usually do chores, meal prep and housework, however, due to my injury, I haven’t been able to do a lot of that or go to work, and my mum is evidently not happy about it. She’s been upset because I’ve been sleeping in until 7.30 instead of waking up at 6.30 to pray in the morning before my dad leaves for work…at 7.30. She hasn’t been talking to me and tries to ignore me when I speak to her. I’m pretty used to it, so I don’t pay attention. Yesterday, she broke the silence by saying that she was heading out. She didn’t say where, but since it was around 11am I knew she wasn’t going into her office. This was on a Tuesday, and for the past 6 months (excluding the Tuesday before last), I always volunteer as a mentor in schools every week. It’s also the only time I actually ‘go out’ aside from work. I enjoy working with the kids, and my mum enjoys reinforcing the idea that I shouldn’t waste my time there. Because of the timing of the sessions, my mum picks up my sister from school on Tuesdays. Yesterday though, I received a voicemail from my sister's school saying that my sister was still at school waiting to be picked up… it was 4.45 (she finished club at 4). I had a piercing appointment but had to cancel and head to the school because I couldn’t get ahold of my mum, or the school. It would take me a good hour to get there. After 40 minutes my mum called to ask me what I wanted and cut the call when I answered. She then asked me where I was and once again… cut the call. After a 30-minute walk to school, uncertain of wtf my mum was doing, I found she had picked up my sister about 20 minutes ago, meaning that she had been at home the whole time. I was livid. To make it worse, she was in a mood when I got home and actually on the phone with her friend villainising me for the whole ordeal. I stayed in my room the whole evening because I didn’t want to make a bad situation worse with my words. I was trying to be the bigger person, so again, after calming down, I tried to break the ice this morning. But my mum took it as an apology...and didn't accept it. I understand that I probably should have reminded her that I was volunteering, but AITA for basically just avoiding her currently and keeping my words minimal?",AITA for avoiding my mum,NAH +10wx7pd,"So I (F19) dropped out of university last year and I’ve been living at home since. I was working full time but now I do part-time 9 am-2 pm shifts so I can do the school run for my parent. I don’t pay rent, I just do the weekly shopping. + +About two weeks ago I sustained a large first-degree burn on the back of my hand. I didn’t want to bother my parents, because it was late. Yet after a few hours of attempting first aid, I realised I needed to go to A&E. Surprisingly my mum was still awake, so I told her I’d get an Uber to the hospital and she said no, she’d drop me there instead. I was grateful, of course. + +Currently, my hand is healing and no longer extremely painful but is still an open wound. At home I usually do chores, meal prep and housework, however, due to my injury, I haven’t been able to do a lot of that or go to work, and my mum is evidently not happy about it. She’s been upset because I’ve been sleeping in until 7.30 instead of waking up at 6.30 to pray in the morning before my dad leaves for work…at 7.30. She hasn’t been talking to me and tries to ignore me when I speak to her. I’m pretty used to it, so I don’t pay attention. Yesterday, she broke the silence by saying that she was heading out. She didn’t say where, but since it was around 11am I knew she wasn’t going into her office. + +This was on a Tuesday, and for the past 6 months (excluding the Tuesday before last), I always volunteer as a mentor in schools every week. It’s also the only time I actually ‘go out’ aside from work. I enjoy working with the kids, and my mum enjoys reinforcing the idea that I shouldn’t waste my time there. + +Because of the timing of the sessions, my mum picks up my sister from school on Tuesdays. Yesterday though, I received a voicemail from my sister's school saying that my sister was still at school waiting to be picked up… it was 4.45 (she finished club at 4). I had a piercing appointment but had to cancel and head to the school because I couldn’t get ahold of my mum, or the school. It would take me a good hour to get there. After 40 minutes my mum called to ask me what I wanted and cut the call when I answered. She then asked me where I was and once again… cut the call. After a 30-minute walk to school, uncertain of wtf my mum was doing, I found she had picked up my sister about 20 minutes ago, meaning that she had been at home the whole time. I was livid. + +To make it worse, she was in a mood when I got home and actually on the phone with her friend villainising me for the whole ordeal. I stayed in my room the whole evening because I didn’t want to make a bad situation worse with my words. + +I was trying to be the bigger person, so again, after calming down, I tried to break the ice this morning. But my mum took it as an apology...and didn't accept it. + +I understand that I probably should have reminded her that I was volunteering, but AITA for basically just avoiding her currently and keeping my words minimal?",AITA for avoiding my mum,NAH 10x8mce,"First of all, some background:Im part of a small group of friends , which are both couples who have been together for years now. In the last 2 years i ended a relationship that made me go on my own for a bit since i didn't want to be the fifth alone, and I ended up finding a new girlfriend, the new relationship is still fresh and we want to spend a bit more time together we ended up making plan for a weekend out for the week of valentines day. Now today 1 week before one of the girl made a group reminding us that since the other couples have plans for saturday his boyfriends(wich is one of my best friends) we will celebrate his birthday on sunday (just a simple dinner)... i will not lie life got really busy latelly, and i totally forgot of his birthday, but no one made plan before hand this is all news of today. After thinking about it for a bit, i excused myself and my girlfriend and told everybody that we couldn't attend since we already booked our trip. The friends girlfriend said in a sarcastic way ""you remember your friends brithday i see, we will remember when yours come"", wich all seems to have forgotten last year. My girlfriend told me no one made a group to discuss it and she was unsure if this is how we used to do, i told her we usually do so she ended up doing it for me. Back to the sory the other girl in the group just said "" write our birthdays down you are being rude not showing up"" mind she asked me last year to delay my summer trip to attend his birthday(wich i did not).Now i asked the other male friends if im beign so unrational. And he told me: ""yes you should have remembered and made the trip at a later day wich i still suggest you do but in the end im not the one who will get his birthday without you so not my problem"" .Now i have yet to respond in the group and can't contact the other male friend to apologize or make other plans together, since this new plan for his birthday has not yet been revealed to him.So reddit... AITA here?P.s: im not a native speaker i checked as best i can the grammar. i apologize in advance if i made some mistakes",AITA for waiting to not wanting to delay my trip after forgetting my friends birthday,NTA 10wv0xd,My niece turned 15 yesterday and as her birthday gift she wanted to give away all her old clothes to someone who needs them and buy new ones. Her taste in clothes has changed a lot in the past year and there is almost nothing in her closet that she likes anymore.She approached me a few days ago and asked me if I would go shopping with her and help her buy new clothes.My ex sil lives in another city and I know she was looking forward to coming here for her birthday and do the shopping with her so I told her maybe she should do it with her mom. She said she doesn't like her mom's taste in clothes and would rather I go with her. So we went shopping and we had a great time.Her mom arrived yesterday and she was extremely angry when she found out we went shopping without her. She called me an asshole for agreeing to this when I knew she wanted to do it. She also kept making snarky comments to me about us looking like twins(my niece chose clothes that are similar to my style) and even made some rude comments that because I can't have any kids I'm trying to play mom for her daughter. My brother ended up asking her to leave,AITA for going shopping with my niece?,NTA 10wwrh6,"AITA for hanging up his clothesSo myself, my husband and our 2 kids just recently moved. However, the place we moved to is smaller than our last home, and thus we lost storage space (this provides context). Today, I hung up my husband’s clothes in his closet. When he came home from work I showed him. His response was that he was going to take everything off the hangers and put it in a pile on the floor in the closet because thats how he likes it. (Now one would think he’s being sarcastic or joking. No this is how he kept his clothes in our last place, and we shared a closet and it was a massive mess.) I explain that I’m trying to keep this house neat, and set a good example for our kids, and that we need the storage in the bottom of the closet. His reply is that it is his stuff and he will keep it however he wants. I get that, and I normally leave his messes alone. I re-explain the storage issue and you know tidiness. His solution is to now find away to hang large Rubbermaid bins full of things from closet rods. I told him absolutely not; the main reason being we rent and if he breaks the rod we’re liable. AITA for hanging up my husband’s clothes?Edit: The pile he wants is just one massive pile of his laundry unfolded in the bottom of the closet. I’m not asking him to fold his laundry or hang it. I offered to do it, all I’m asking is for him to let it be so we can use the bottom of his closest for storage. We are also using the bottom of my closet for storage, so I’m not asking anything of him that I’m not doing to my own closet.",AITA for hanging up my husband’s clothes,NTA @@ -2044,7 +2111,17 @@ post_id,post_content,post_title,verdict 10yf0ty," I (19 F, about to be 20) got my license at age 18 during my first year at university. I actually got my license a couple days before my chem final and my grades definitely suffered as a result ( due to all the extra driving practice). I only did the drivers test b/c of all the implied pressure my parents, in particular my mom, put on me. Some of my friends went, did their test, and passed. My mom tends to fall victim to FOMO and completely lost her shit and had me do the test. I passed on my first try and b/c she didn't pass on her first try, paraded me and my driving test result around to all her friends and family.Fast forward, I'm now halfway through second year and don't drive except to get coffee. My mom is psychotically afraid of me driving. Which is ironic b/c I passed my test in terrible winter conditions (all other driving centers had closed that day due to weather). Sometimes, due to late meetings I have huge gaps in my schedule and b/c I only live \~10-15 minutes from campus it would be more feasible for me to go home and then come back later for the meetings rather than wait 3+ hours (even if I study).However, due to my moms paranoia, my dad picks me up from university EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. He drives me to and from home to and from university. Mind you, our family is privileged enough to own two cars and both my parents work from home. All day, the two cars just sit in our driveway.My dad has historically insisted and persuaded me to avoid taking the bus or even simply picking up my university-issued bus pass b/c 'he can always drive me.' However recently, my dad has now told me I either wait 2-5 hours on campus (until my meeting) or I take the bus (we have a 24 hr issuing time for bus passes, so I can't take the bus). I would take the bus, but like I said I live \~10-15 mins away from campus and due to the 2020 lockdown, many bus routes in my area were cut. As a result the 10-15 minute ride is anywhere from 40 mins - 1hr one way on the bus. So I would rather stay on campus and study. But my entire motive to even come to this university was the close distance. I would be much more effectively using my time if I could just take the car and come and go according to my own schedule rather than having to consult with my parents' work schedule (we would even be saving gas).I am very open on my thoughts on this with my parents but even though I'm almost 20, they disregard any of my points, and use their paranoia as 'oh but we just care more than most parents do about their children' or 'kids your age who drive do it out of necessity.' I have the need to drive, we have the cars for me to do it, I really don't get their point. It's disgusting. My dad even likes to imply how much of a burden driving me is, which is ironic. I'm even willing to grab a job, if anything I'm openly searching for a job so I can pay any parking related fees on campus.AITA for wanting to take the car or saying I have a right to?",AITA for wanting a car?,YTA 10yd10l,"Hi everyone, my girlfriend is absolutely convinced I'm in the wrong and I was wondering if there was something I was missing?Myself (20F) and my girlfriend Cara (also 20F) went shopping a few days ago - she has an upcoming trip and I need some formal clothes for a job interview coming up. It was getting late and we barely bought anything so we headed to H&M as a last resort because we figured there would be at least something good. We were right - there was a gorgeous pair of black pleated trousers which Cara got to first. She said they looked good but was on the fence about buying them immediately. She put them back and went to another area of the shop to continue looking. Because I also liked them (I voiced my opinion that I did when she showed me) and we were running low on time, I picked them out in my size and bought them. I couldn't find Cara and did not realise she had gone to buy them while I was looking at blouses which caught my eye by the checkout. I ended up buying a couple blouses and a blazer after too, and placed them on top of the trousers in my bag, not thinking anything of it.I was really excited to show her what I'd bought when we got home and showed her my haul. Immediately, she was annoyed and asked why I purposely bought those trousers when she'd told me before she doesn't like matching outfits. I was confused because a) I was not aware she'd gone back to buy them, b) we've talked about co-ordinating outfits before and I know she isn't a fan and c) they're formal and would be perfect for my interview and I wouldn't be wearing them for any other things (I prefer wearing dresses for formal dates and occasions anyway). I told her the reasons above and then offered to return them because of the misunderstanding but she told me that wasn't the point and I was being sneaky by deliberately putting them under clothes but I also pointed out that I bought more things so it was natural they wouldn't be on the top.I don't think I did anything wrong by purchasing those trousers. My interview is in a few days and really need some formal trousers to wear and she's listened to my frustrations about not being able to find anything that fits me properly length-wise and waist-wise which I also like the style of. I also offered to return them since I still had the receipt but she didn't want me to do that either because ""it wasn't the point"". So AITA?",AITA for buying the same trousers as my girlfriend?,NTA 10yheiw,"I feel bad. So my brother and I both live with our parents (we’re both in college, he has a break and i have an internship) anyways my bed is right above the Laundry room and the noise is awful. I heard the laundry starting at 12:15am yesterday and went down and turned it off. Then I heard it back on again, I went out of my room and my brother said he needs to dry his clothing. I told him it 12:30am and it’s late and I turned it off. However I feel really bad now and wonder if I should just have let him use it. He said he needs to dry his clothing but I was like “you had all day. I was annoyed since I have my internship to go to and need to sleep but I also feel bad for him. AITA?1) what action you took that should be judged: I turned off the dryer that still had all this clothing in that were fully wet and those were all his main clothing 2) why that action might make you the asshole: should I have just let it slide and let the dryer run and waited it out, did I react too harshly",AITA for turning off the laundry at 12:30am?,NTA -10yharr,"My, (35f) best friend is currently living with me(30f) and my husband (30M). She recently just got to this city and of course I told her she could live with us, she was going through a financial situation and we covered for her food and expenses for a month while she got herself together and was able to pay for her stuff. Even tho she pays half the rent of our place we usually don’t ask for her money when it comes to groceries or Ubers/gas to go to work since my husband usually pick us up and drives us there half most of the days. Keep in mind that right now all three of us are living in a place that we don’t really like and feel comfortable with and when she moved in we had agreed that we we’re going to look for something else for the three of us and share expenses until she was able to do it on her own. After a couple weeks she started dating this guy and I feel like everything went downhill from there. Suddenly, everything my husband says and does is just annoying and immature. She just sticks to herself and doesn’t come out of her room, and 5 out of 7 days a week her guy is in our place visiting, staying the night or hanging out with her which was not a problem. My husband and I, don’t have couple friends so whenever her and I are doing something and both of our partners show up, he tries to make small talk and conversation so we can all be together and hang out. Well, her guy usually just deviates her attention to him and distracts her from whatever we are saying or doing even tho she tries to keep up with the conversation it’s inevitable that after some while of him not engaging and just talking to her, she just ignores us too. It's been weeks and I started feeling like something was up, so when she was not paying attention I took her phone and checked out her chats with this guy and found out that she hates living with us, has already texted everyone not to live with friends talks shit about my husband and in her words “tries not to engage” in conversations even tho he picks both of us from work and takes both of us usually to eat afterwards on his own accord and paying for everything she stills finds it inconvenient because she doesn’t know what time she’ll be home to the point of her texting him how’s she’s so ready to move out of here and such but “putting up with it for at least a year because she can’t afford going anywhere else”. He usually makes small talk on our way home like “how was work?Did you have a nice day?” And she just answers with “it was okay, yeah, idk” and with each answer her voice gets lower to the point of not even being able to hear her so he just stops asking At first, I felt guilty about reading her conversations but after all I’ve found out I’m just angry and feel completely used and disregarded. Checking her phone was just a reassurance to what I had been feeling all this time and it’s painful and sad how she could disrespect our relationship and our friendship that way. Even if it wasn’t to our faces",AITA for checking my best fiend's phone chats without her knowing?,YTA +10yharr,"My, (35f) best friend is currently living with me(30f) and my husband (30M). She recently just got to this city and of course I told her she could live with us, she was going through a financial situation and we covered for her food and expenses for a month while she got herself together and was able to pay for her stuff. Even tho she pays half the rent of our place we usually don’t ask for her money when it comes to groceries or Ubers/gas to go to work since my husband usually pick us up and drives us there half most of the days. +Keep in mind that right now all three of us are living in a place that we don’t really like and feel comfortable with and when she moved in we had agreed that we we’re going to look for something else for the three of us and share expenses until she was able to do it on her own. +After a couple weeks she started dating this guy and I feel like everything went downhill from there. Suddenly, everything my husband says and does is just annoying and immature. She just sticks to herself and doesn’t come out of her room, and 5 out of 7 days a week her guy is in our place visiting, staying the night or hanging out with her which was not a problem. My husband and I, don’t have couple friends so whenever her and I are doing something and both of our partners show up, he tries to make small talk and conversation so we can all be together and hang out. Well, her guy usually just deviates her attention to him and distracts her from whatever we are saying or doing even tho she tries to keep up with the conversation it’s inevitable that after some while of him not engaging and just talking to her, she just ignores us too. + + + +It's been weeks and I started feeling like something was up, so when she was not paying attention I took her phone and checked out her chats with this guy and found out that she hates living with us, has already texted everyone not to live with friends talks shit about my husband and in her words “tries not to engage” in conversations even tho he picks both of us from work and takes both of us usually to eat afterwards on his own accord and paying for everything she stills finds it inconvenient because she doesn’t know what time she’ll be home to the point of her texting him how’s she’s so ready to move out of here and such but “putting up with it for at least a year because she can’t afford going anywhere else”. He usually makes small talk on our way home like “how was work?Did you have a nice day?” And she just answers with “it was okay, yeah, idk” and with each answer her voice gets lower to the point of not even being able to hear her so he just stops asking + +At first, I felt guilty about reading her conversations but after all I’ve found out I’m just angry and feel completely used and disregarded. + +Checking her phone was just a reassurance to what I had been feeling all this time and it’s painful and sad how she could disrespect our relationship and our friendship that way. Even if it wasn’t to our faces",AITA for checking my best fiend's phone chats without her knowing?,YTA 10yctaj,"AITA So (24F)Lily got into with a coworker (34?)Priscilla(she a new hire) we work as front desk agent as a hotel my first shift with her I thought she was alright until evening happened she decided to be rude and snarking to me for 2 hrs I will admit I got upset and try to talk with her about it (like hey can you please don't talk to me like that) she decided after that to cuss and scream at me and we got in a argument in the back(luckily we didn't have no guest around at the time 😔😨) I got sick of it and told her to leave me alone, I was going to call our manager but she beat me to the punch and I decided to wait until she was done,my manger Drew call me asking me what this about drinking on the job(I ask what you taking about) long story short she lied and made false allegations about me, we also have cameras in the ""office"" area also I did not drink on the job, mangers know that she was lying but haven't done any discipline actions to her, for about 2 weeks we haven't had shifts together but another manger Josh told me I was being childish and immature for not wanting to work with her, I saw the schedule for next weekend I supposed to work with her, I told my boss multiple times I don't feel comfortable working with her, and he been ignoring my feelings",AITA for not wanting to work a shift with a coworker?,NTA 10ygrm2,"my (M15) friend (F17) was on a call with a few friends. Her boyfriend happened to be in the call with us. For privacy reasons we will him, Red. I have been in calls with them before along with my friend, Chad (M14). We are all friends. Today, I realized Red sounded awfully familiar. After a few hours of being on call, it finally clicked and I realized he sounded like the YouTube Dream. Of course that was too funny to keep to myself. I told him on the call which he immediately refused. However, my friend Chad agreed. We went back and fourth with Red disagreeing and Chad and I laughing. Every word he said, sounded more similar to Dream. This went back and fourth for several minutes. I assumed it was all giggles. I couldn’t stop laughing until tears started building up in my eyes. Eventually, the girlfriend left the call, saying she was uncomfortable. Now, I thought it was still jokes and Chad and I giggled on call for several minutes. However neither of them are responding. So AITA?",AITA for saying my friends boyfriend sounds like Dream.,YTA 10ye1hk,"English is not my first language, sorry for the mistakes.EDIT: I made a mistake. She asked me to take care of them on Saturday two days ago (it's Wednesday rn and I answered today). Some think it's a 3 hour travel. It's not. It's a 1 hour travel.She has borderline personality disorder. I'm trying to find the way to talk to her without making her feel bad, but it's really hard for me.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------My (17F) sister (40F) said she would pay me $10 to take care of her cats only for tomorrow since she won't be at home.I had to do the same with my older brother for 7 days and I really hated it. His cat was really aggressive and it was kinda tiring. Her cats are the opposite but the problem is: She lives one hour and a half far from my home. I don't have a car and I have to use the public transportation (which is not really good)I said I can't. She got mad and said I should be a better person. Then she sent a sticker that said ""I'm emotional rn I'll come later""I understand she's frustrated because I'm the only one available but I don't wanna go over there. I suggested her to add more food to their plates and other things.AITA?",AITA for not taking care of my sister's cats,NTA @@ -2920,589 +2997,4 @@ post_id,post_content,post_title,verdict 110z0u8,"&#x200B;I'm new to Reddit, so I don't really know how this worksI've been dating my girlfriend for the past 3 years (we're both 18, I know it's young) and she's always been the study kind of girl, but since we went to college a year ago this has been much worse. We were in the same high school, so we used to see each other every day, and HS wasn't as demanding as college, so everything was fine. Now we go to different colleges, so basically we don't get the chance to see each other as much as we used to. She's always telling me that after this one exam we are going out and spending more time together... but there's always one more after that. I'm kind of getting sick of getting disappointed every time, even tho we talked many times about it, nothing changes. We were going out on Valentine's Day (in 2 days) but right now she just asked me if we could postpone it to another week. Our anniversary is on the 28th, and she wants to also postpone it to march. I'm happy that she's doing everything she can to get good grades, but her mental health declined a lot since November, and she's always telling me that she misses me, which is confusing because I don't feel like she does any effort (not even a text from time to time). Does anyone know what should I do at this point?(sorry for bad English, it's not my main language)",AITA for wanting to see my girlfriend more often?,NTA 110rtaw,"Hi guys,A few things to keep in mind here. I work 3rd shift and sleep during the day. My boyfriend and I are polyamorous. He has a husband and we also have a mutual (male) friend who is into the same things we are. For a while now, BF has been telling me he is going to give me something I've wanted for a long time... involving this friend, J. I'm an artist, and I have a client who is coming to my area on Valentine's day. They commissioned a painting from me and want to pick it up that day. So, originally the plan was that my bf was going to drive down to my place after taking his husband to work at 2PM. We were going to spend the later afternoon/evening together, and then meet my client and exchange money/painting real quick before having dinner together.(Just me and BF, my client wasn't joining us for dinner. Just for clarity)Well, today when I woke up, bf told me he is bringing J along on Valentine's Day and they are coming to my house in the morning. I told him that just doesn't work for me because I have to sleep at some point during the day. I understand a lot of people just don't empathize with third shift workers. I get it. But the last thing I want to do after working all night is have fun with two guys, then stay up all day, go meet a client, and then go to work again that night.So I told him maybe we should just wait until Thursday/Firday when I'm off work. He was like, ""If you're upset that I was bringing J you could have just said something. For Christ's sake, men are dumb. You know this.""So now he's annoyed with me. I don't think I did anything wrong. I am just trying to make things easier for everyone involved. What he wants us to do with J isn't going to be very fun if I'm dead tired. I know for him the day itself is really important. I think he's more upset that if we do what I'm suggesting this won't be happening on February 14th (Valentine's day.)So what do yo guys think? AITA?",AITA for wanting to reschedule Valentine's Day Plans?,NTA 1111a6g,"I am actually looking for some outside perspective as this is a very important thing going on for me and my family rn.My grandma passed away very very recently. I'm talking about days ago. I've lived with and have taken care of her for the last ~5 years, along with my aunt, who I'm very close with and she didn't live with us but came by every day to take care of what I couldn't do. It was always the two of us having to bear with the burden, but my grandma was extremely fond of my older sister, who rarely stopped by to visit. I don't hate my sister per se, but she used to be extremely cruel to me (borderline abusive) when I was younger, which has made me extremely wary of her and not able to cope with being in the same space with her for more than a couple hours without starting to dissociate or snapping. Now, I want to clarify, she HAS changed, and she is very kind to me now, but in general her personality is too much for me to handle, specially when it comes to things like loss of someone we both loved dearly (I don't deny my sister DID love my grandma, she just always had more important stuff to do than visit.) She is very extra, and suffocating in the way she goes about everything, SPECIALLY her own grief. Back to the issue right now, without my grandma home, I'm living by myself. This house isn't mine, legally it belongs to my aunt, but while she wants me to keep her up to date with what goes on here, she's made clear to me that as of right now she has no intention of neither moving in or having me move out. My sister (30F) currently lives with my dad, but she has a lot of fights and issues with my stepmother and is with one foot out of the house. Now since my grandma died, I've had her staying in my house every single day, and I'm going insane. Every day she makes a different excuse to continue to stay, and even when I set boundaries, she continues to bend them. I understand we're both grieving for someone we both loved very much, and that family should stick together at times like this, but I really just want to be left alone, and I can't begin to process my own grief because I am constantly having to deal with hers. I feel like I should have a bit more of a priority here when it comes to my feelings because my grandma was everything I cared about for the last few years, while in her case it was a visit every now and then. I don't mean to measure our pain because I know that's stupid, but I can't help but feel like it's unfair I'm not even allowed to ask to be left the fuck alone at MY house because of her. I've told her, kindly, that I want to be left alone to process the way my life is changing from now on, but she continues to play dumb and stay. I straight up want to kick her out at this point, but given the situation at hand and the fact that my grandma loved her so much and would beg me to be patient with her, I can't help but ask AITA?",AITA for not wanting my sister in my house after my grandma passed away?,NTA -11119e4,"It started off when my friend (let's call her Lucy) started joking about how me and some other friends get no bitches. Y'know, just the typical ""HAHA, YOU'RE BITCHLESS!!!"" kind of jokes. I was at working through most of the day, so when I got home I decided to have some me time because the rush hours before the Super Bowl were fucking hell.I slept through it, and I asked my friends what'd I miss. Lucy's boyfriend started explaining that her and my other friend (let's call her Anna) were obsessing over Rihanna. Lucy misinterpreted it and thought he was making fun of them. I decided to send a picture of a reply with the skeleton trying to say something but rethinking what he was gonna say. Lucy, out of nowhere, decided to tell me again that I get no bitches and that I'm single. I just decided to just stop talking after that.Cut to an hour later, Lucy sends a funny dancing gif, and I reply by saying ""Pfff-"". Lucy, again, decides to call me bitchless again out of nowhere. She kept saying that I get zero bitches now. It was honestly starting to get annoying and on my nerves, and it started hurting that she was right, and after that, she said to stop laughing over her and Anna's excitement over Rihanna, but I didn't even make fun of them over that that time.I said ""What the fuck"", and her response was ""You also the reason why straight girls go lesbain and lesbian girls get more lesbian alongside Turing gay men straight"". After that, she kept telling me to ""bow down to our queen"". I was getting pissed off at this point with Lucy because she wasn't getting the hint that I was getting upset, but she still continued. The final straw was how she compared me to her 3 year relationship with her boyfriend and how easily Anna got a boyfriend in 2 days ago. She even said ""Like Rihanna sang in one of her songs ""You look so dumb right now"""".That was the final straw that I had with her and I said that she was pushing it. She still didn't get the message and said ""Bow to Rihanna and it'll be over"". At that point, I had to make it clear that I wasn't joking around and I directly told her to stop it. After that, Lucy said ""Tch fucking fun killer"", and I thought that maybe I was being oversensitive to the joke. Am I the asshole?",AITA for taking my friend's joke too seriously?,NTA -110rntr," Wife's sister is going on vacation and wants to leave her dog with us for about a week. We live in a small house with four adopted cats. None of the cats are acclimated to dogs. The dog has been here before and the cats are basically stuck in our bedroom and the back porch because they are too scared to go near him.One of the cats in particular has trauma issues from past abuse and only really comes out when we sleep .So I have to bring them their food and water, and trauma cat in particular will probably live under the bed the entire time. I feel for them. I care for all the cats needs, so what stresses them out, stresses me out.Wife says it's not fair for the dog to be alone, and I don't disagree, but I also don't think it's not fair to put out our own animals in the process. I think her sister should figure out another place.I ended up agreeing because my wife lost her Mom a year ago, and the dog used to belong to her Mom before it became her sisters. This is why I feel I could be TA. She eventually emphasized that connection and told me I lack empathy for not caring for her 'Moms' dog, which stung a little. I feel as though I am just looking out for the best interests of our animals. Am I the Asshole?",AITA for not wanting to babysit my Wife's families dog because we have four cats?,NTA -11116of,"Basically Ive been in this friend group of dudes for all of college. Id say Im close with half but more acquaintances with others. A couple years ago I worked at a job and very very briefly talked to this girl coworker. It was clearly romantic but I never worked up the nerve to make a physical move to take it further, before we ended up stopping due to a pretty embarrassing and awkward miscommunication/mistake on my part. To this day Im still embarrassed about it and cringe about it to this day. Its one of those stories you tell your guy friends and laugh about how stupid you were. Except apparently like a year later she started talking to one of those same guy friends (one whos more an acquaintance). Another year of on and off and they became official recently. I want to emphasize that Im completely fine with it on a surface level. Like I said it was extremely brief with me so its not a case of being jealous or still having feelings or something. When they were talking I didnt really care and we kinda just laughed about it and never mentioned it again. But since they became official is where its now awkward for me. I ran into her one time on campus around the time they started dating (in a way where you both clearly see each other) and tried approaching just to be cordial and say hey whats up before walking away, but she very clearly avoided eye contact and pretended like i didnt exist. Now I have the impression that she clearly doesnt like me and hasnt since we talked, which would be fine but ever since then shes been integrating herself into the group.Very “conveniently” we have never ended up at the same place at the same time with this group but its getting to the point where im wondering if theres something more. maybe im being paranoid but it feels like people are being more distant and “weird” with me. I think why I feel so strange is that I mentally compartmentalize my relationships. This has been my friend group for the entirety of college while she was a person I regretfully messed up with and a pretty embarrassing blemish on my romantic history. I never ever figured they’d ever intersect and to be honest it’s embarrassing for me. I told her about all of these people when we were “talking”. I told her stories about stuff we did. you can go on my social media posts on old pictures i have with these friends including her now boyfriend, where she was commenting flirting and joking with me at the time. Now Im playing this stupid ass tip toeing around each other dance that I dont even know if it’s intentional or if she’s purposely avoiding me, while seeing her in pictures with that same group doing the same shit and hanging out at the same places Im used to doing with them. I obviously dont deserve to have a say in their relationship and clearly they have something real that should not be affected by me whatsoever, but I just cant help like its a weird invasion of my privacy even though its not about me whatsoever. This is all our last semester here, like I’ll still be friends with these guys afterwards. But I cant help but think “this has been my friend group for all of college and she seriously has to show up and force her way in making everything awkward right at the end?” (even though i know thats not what she’s doing lol. like i said i understand its not about me i just cant help but emotionally feel like that). Am I just blowing this out of proportion? Am I inadvertently making everyone else feel awkward and uncomfortable? AITA?",AITA for being weirded out that a girl I used to talk to is now dating my friend and slowly integrating her way into my friend group. i cant help but feel like im being pushed out?,NAH -110yqsy,"I (29m) have been dating my girlfriend (30f) “Becca” for 6 - 7 months. She’s everything I want in a partner, and I plan on marrying her in the not-too-distant future (2 - 3 years). We’ve talked about our future, and we’re generally aligned on everything (values, ambitions, kids, timeline, social etiquette, etc). Becca has a friend “Chris” (35m) that she considers one of her best friends and she’s known for a long time (12+ years). He lives in a different state, but they call and text often (a few times a week) and she considers him one of her best friends. Additionally he’s single.Around 3 months ago we were on a date, and she told me a story about him. After the story I asked her if anything has ever happened between them. She said, “No, but a long time ago we talked about whether we should date, decided we shouldn’t, and we never brought it up again.” She says this conversation happened about a decade ago when she was around 19 or 20 and assured me nothing has happened since. I had a weird feeling about it, but I trust her and changed the subject. I moved in with Becca two weeks ago, and Chris still comes up in conversation often. I asked her again today if anything has ever happened between them, and she said no. I asked if they ever had sex, and she said no. After asking a few other questions, she admitted that they did hook up for a week when she was 19 or 20 when they were on a trip. It never went all the way to sex and she wouldn’t expand on the details, but we agreed that it happened more than once throughout this trip and there was some “sexual activity”.I told her I didn’t like that she’s so close to someone that she’s had any sexual history with, even if it was 10 years ago. I also told her I that I believe that she misrepresented their history when I first asked her. She insists that it’s not a big deal because it happened 10 years ago and that they’ve maintained a platonic relationship since. I asked if she flew to his state right now, walked into his house and asked him to have sex would he say yes, and she said yes but most guys would. I told her no, because I’ve rejected the advances of several of my female friends because I liked our friendship where it was and didn’t want to complicate things. Moreso, I don’t maintain relationships or converse with women I’ve hooked up with while I’m in a relationship, even if it happened years ago. She asked me what I wanted her to do, and I told her I’m not going to ask her to do anything or give any ultimatums but I’ve made it clear how I feel and it’s upto her what she wants to do with that information. She got upset at me and told me I was being unreasonable and inconsiderate because they’ve been friends for so long and have maintained a platonic relationship. She feels I’m making her choose between her boyfriend and one of her best friends.Am I the asshole?EDIT: Thanks for the reality check everyone. I recognize I’m being insecure and unreasonable. I appreciate the candid words, even if I don’t agree with it all. I’ll apologize and do some reflection.",AITA for making my girlfriend choose between me and her best friend?,YTA -110pas6,"I turned 18 a few days ago. My relatives and some friends didn't know what to buy me and at the end of the day, I ended up with a few hundred dollars to keep. My mother insisted on taking that money from me and guaranteed me that she will save it up for me. Every birthday, if I have gotten some money, my mom would just take it from me for the same reasons as before. Saving up. I am fine with it but there's a small catch.The moment the money is taken away, I can no longer access it or even plan to use it. A few months ago, I wanted to buy a new PC and asked for the saved money from all the birthdays and saving ups from my side I deposited from aside. There was, and still, there's a lot, around 8, 9 hundred dollars in her ''belongings''. When I asked her, I got told the money was spent on me, my clothes, my needs, etc., etc. The way she does it is that usually, she notifies me that she, or we, are going to use the birthday money for something and that she's going to return the money as soon as possible. And she returns the money every time. My problem with that is the fact the money in a way becomes entitled to her. Every time I ask for something, and I don't ask often, I get rejected or she wants to spend her own money on the item I want. That usually ends with me giving up on the item, or her mentioning we can't buy it right now, and that we should probably consider it in a few months, next year. I never ask for it again. I feel embarrassed to ask for it again, as I'll probably be given the same answer or I would just get her mad. I always asked for a new PC because I need one. I got over it as time passed by. It's my 18th birthday and I really want to keep the money for a lot of reasons. Valentines are coming up, and even her birthday is soon as well, and I haven't really gotten a chance to buy her anything over the years since all of the money I get is being taken away. I want to save up for a new phone, my driver's license is fully paid, and I'm going to freelance the whole summer as well, so I will earn more than enough to buy the phone I want, some new clothes and all the things I need for my senior year.Not really trying to give away much for safety reasons, she earns a nice profit from her job, and we also have a flat that we are renting for a year now, and the income is pretty solid. Most of that money is being saved up for my college when I finish HS, my car, and other things that I will need once I ''get on my own''. I just want this year to be different, and I really want to be in control of the money I got. I am not a spender type of person, I watch, and log every time I spend my money. Not really keen on spending my money on things that I can live without, I do not really go out or spend on drinks, parties, etc.The things I ask her for, are useless to her, or she feels like it's wasting money. Throughout all the years I really think I've should have been given the money considering I carefully spend it.",AITA For wanting to keep my 18th birthday money?,NTA -110lpsx,"So for context before I tell this whole story:My godmother has 4 children and I babysit 2 them (the younger ones) regularly as the oldest 2 live with their dad. I have always had an issue with Sarah (not her real name) who is one of the older girls as she has always tried to pick on me in some way. This would be not letting me into my room, stealing my drinks, ect. Also I’ve constantly tried to tell their mom that I can’t be the only one doing Margo’s hair (the youngest) as that means it’s only getting done every 2 weeks at the least, sometimes even once a month. Okay so the actual story:So I was supposed to babysit throughout winter break. I go over the night before so I can wake up with the girls. I find out that her older 2 are also spending the night the day of. The morning starts off terrible. I wake up to Sarah arguing with Margo about breakfast. Telling her she CANT have a PBJ. When I get up and go in there I see Bridget (the second youngest) has already been eating and Sarah hasn’t even started on Margo’s. When I check to make sure Bridgett is full because she was acting weird Sarah gets mad and yells at me and stomps off. I proceed to get Margo breakfast. After lunch I go to do Margo’s hair. She’s always been very tender headed and hates getting her hair done. You can hardly touch her and she’ll scream and cry. She has extremely coily hair so it takes a while to do. I can tell her hair hasn’t been done in 2 weeks so I’m brushing it in the bath so it’ll be easier. Well while I’m doing her hair Sarah comes up stairs yelling at me about Margo crying. After about 5 minutes I yell “if your mom wasn’t so Lazy this wouldn’t be an issue” and she proceeds to use the single mom excuse. I eventually call my guardian saying I need to go home and Sarah is yelling at me AGAIN from the other side of the house while I’m on the phone. I go home (the kids were safe. Sarah and Selena are twins and old enough to watch the little ones).Later that night their mom calls me saying it’s my fault because I called her lazy and refuses to care that her kid started the fight. I also told her she has plenty of time to do Margo’s hair and it’s unfair for her to only do second youngest hair. She also tells me that I shouldn’t have called my guardian. She thinks she got mad at Sarah for no reason and that I’m in the wrong. She’s also upset that she didn’t have a babysitter for the rest of that week or the following week. I would also like to add that she did not reach back out till a week before MLK day when she would need me to babysit again. I did not respond. I’ve since seen her for Bridget’s birthday but that’s it.",AITA for refusing to babysit my little sister last minute?,NTA -110pn2q,"i moved to australia from the uk when i was 15, im a permanent resident, not a citizen, but i consider australia home, for many reasons. i had to come back to the uk at 20 for a family emergency. covid then happened and money ran out so i had to stay in the uk longer than i originally planned. anyway, i was finally set to move back at the end of this year. but i started thinking about it and realised that, because i can’t get student loans in australia, i’ll have to pay for it upfront. after rent and bills, i’d only be able to afford one subject per semester on average. it would take me about 8 or 9 years to complete a degree, and then four years of medical school after that. however, because i’m a british citizen i can get student loans here, so i’ve decided to do at least my undergraduate degree here (3 years). now i told one of my closest friends about it and she was incredibly upset. for some context, she regularly used to say that me coming back home is the only thing she looks forward to. she’s quite lonely and only really has me and her boyfriend. her mental health is really quite bad and she’s struggling a lot with my decision. she said “maybe a miracle will happen and you won’t stay that long” (which is not possible, i am staying for at least three more years). she’s been saying that the one thing she’s been excited about has been taken away from her and that she doesn’t know what to do. i have tried to be supportive because of course i understand that she’s upset. but it’s putting an insane amount of stress on me and i know she wants me to offer to come back or ask me to, which i’m not going to do. i honestly didn’t think i was TA until another one of my friends told me that friends should always come first and i’m being selfish because a good friend would just do the extra few years of university, and now i’m having second thoughts. does this actually make me selfish?? aita?fwiw, we’re both 23",AITA for delaying moving back home?,NTA -110wmce,"Hey everyone, I don't really know how to start and please excuse my English it's not my 1st language. So, I'm in my 2nd year on university (20F) and I have been roommates with my cousin (20F) whom I had only seen one time in my entire life at the age of 16. We would be studying in the same city and because the rent was super high we decided to be roomates. We agreed to find a house with different bedrooms and we did and it also has an extra bedroom which we use as a living room. The living room was only turned it to one the 2nd year before it was empty. Back to the story, my cousin doesn't help much with the cleaning of the house and by that I mean the space that we share. We had agreed to do things at the start but she never did. I hate confrontations and it's really hard for me especially with family. I tried to give her some hints will we spoke and she would be like yes we have to do that. Also, I'm the only one who cooks at the house and I cook for both of us since we buy groceries together. So I will make the food and everything and she will eat but she won't at least clean her own dishes. I talked to her about it last year and she was helping with only cleaning the dishes some times. She will put laundry of her clothes and leave it in the washing machine for ages and if I don't take it out she won't. She won't clean the house, only her bedroom one in a while. After i left for 1 month to visit my parents when I returned the house wasn't in the best condition. So, I cleaned all of it the day that I came back. I was cleaning for 5 hours only the kitchen and bathroom. Mind you they are small. So after i had enough these days I decided that I would let everything in the sink for days and the trash in the bins. It stayed one week there. I would say to her everyday we have to clean the house it's a freaking mess and she would say yes we do and go back to making a mess and leaving everything as it is. When I would eat I would only clean the stuff that I need to use and nothing else. So she eventually decided to clean it and take out the trash since she couldn't stand the smell. I forgot to mention that she used to work last year 5 to 6 days a week for 5-6hours and she would act like she was bringing money to the house and not do any work saying how tired she was. She never takes the trash out even when she would leave for work never. I have told her about the trash straight up if you go out take it and she has gotten mad once or twice about it and that why I find it difficult to confront her. So am I the asshole or am I being petty with the whole situation? My sister says that I am but I think I was fed up this year cause she took a cat this 2nd year without telling me and I found out 3 days after she took it will I was at my parents for 1 month. And after I told her that I don't want the cat inside the kitchen she got mad and kinda didn't talk to me for 2 days. That's a whole other story though.",AITA for letting the dishes on the sink dirty for a whole week?,NTA -110q9iq,"First, I recently cut ties with my extremely controlling parents, and am now living in what most people would consider a barely livable situation with my boyfriend. Still, it's better than what I was dealing with back home. My bf and I are basically paying $75 every week just to occupy a small space on his family's property, which I'm mostly okay with, if it weren't for my bf's brother's wife. My bf and I ""affectionately"" call her the resident ""psychob***h."" She's demanding and rude, but worst of all, she expects everything to be done when she wants and how she wants, but without her help. If it's not done ""right"" the criminal must pay for their misdeeds and face her wrathful screeches that burst forth from her 300 lb frame. She's been pretty much avoiding me since I arrived, for the simple reason she knows what my bf will do if she gets caught showing me any signs of disrespect. Well, the other day, I was tired of working on homework and had run to the store and also taken the weekly $75 for rent out of my bank account. My bf happened to be gone for a majority of the day, helping a neighbor with a side job on another one of his properties. He was getting paid $100, which was always welcome.When I took the money into the main house to psycho, I realized that I had made a terrible mistake. Her husband wasn't there with her, like he usually is. And she knows I have a hard time standing up for myself. In a desperate attempt to complete my mission, I handed her the money, saying, ""rent money for the week."" And tried to bolt. I should have know it wouldn't be that easy. She called my name, so I slowly turned back around.""By the way, when summertime comes and school lets out, you'll be helping my husband and your bf with everything that needs to be done around here. Since you won't be busy.""Here's the issue. I'm in college, and I'll be taking a total of 3 classes this summer so that I can graduate on time. I'm going to be busier than I am now! So, I guess, my question is, WIBTA if I refuse her demand to help out around the property?Edit because I keep getting asked about this: her and her husband have their names on the lease, but that was against the wishes of my bf's mom, who actually paid for the house. But this woman decided she wasn't having that, so she went behind the mother and her husband's back and instructed the people in charge to put her name on instead of the mom's. (Please forgive me, I don't know what the people in charge of legal processes in buying a house are called. That's who I was referring to.)",WIBTA for refusing to help my bf's family while I'm taking summer classes?,NTA -110m1m7,"I (f33) can’t communicate my needs and stand up for myself. I default to crying and feeling hurt while simultaneously doing somersaults in empathising with the party that hurt me. I’d rather suffer in silence than admit someone’s action have affected me. It’s the most mundane situation where I act completely stupid.Case at hand: I haven’t seen my boyfriend (m32) in more than a week. We have been planning and looking forward to meeting up tonight after he got off from work. His work is doing PR for a sports team and tonight they have won an important game. They usually don’t win so this is a big deal. My first reaction was to congratulate and telling him to celebrate but tell me when he’d be home to meet up. He reacted with an emoji. Now the gears went off in my head and I didn’t want to drive across town probably in the middle of the night and him having had a couple of celebratory beers. So after 15 minutes I texted him if it’ll be too late that I would come over tomorrow. I was already crying from disappointment by then but couldn’t communicate.After a couple of minutes he called me and asked if it’s really okay to meet up tomorrow because he would like to go celebrate. When I said yes, he could immediately tell by the tone of my voice that I was very disappointed. And said he was also looking forward to seeing me and therefore will not celebrating with his colleagues. He’ll be home by 8.Did I emotionally manipulate him?Edit: wow, did not expect this attention. Most of you mentioned that this is something a therapist could help with. And you’re right, I need to learn regulating my emotions better. But in true reddit fashion some of you suggested I’m always like that or I’m not worthy of love and a relationship. Please have some good will and assume you don’t know the whole picture. This was actually the first time my actions affected my partner and he didn’t even feel like I ruined something for him. I usually go through the (e)motions alone without anyone noticing or tell them after I calmed down. Be kind to you and each other :)",AITA for having poor communication skills and make my boyfriend miss big night at work?,YTA -1110oq0,"I M(18) recently befriended the cousin of a friend F(17) and quickly became close. It's somewhat unrelated but I have recently just stopped pursuing a girl who liked me back since I wanted to focus on myself, my studies, hobbies, enjoyment and grow more mature before entering a relationship since I see it as something sacred and very important that I'd dedicate almost my entire being on. Now, I found out a few days later that my friend liked my new close friend and indirectly kept asking for reassurances that I had no plans to pursue the girl he likes which is very much true. I gave him said reassurances but never told him I'd stop being friendly with the girl so we kept chatting with each other online and go to school and back home together since our homes and schools were close by. At that time, we used to go home with her cousin which is also my friend but a conflict arose between them which prompted us to go home without him. My friend who likes her felt threatened (I guess?) and began to distance himself from me while also telling the others that I took his girl. Now he's using my friend group against me by spreading those same nasty rumors and I, at this point, just want to get this over with in any way (even if we have to come to blows just so he'll stop crying). So I want to ask, AITA for not breaking my friendship with a girl that my friend likes. Mind you, she doesn't even see him as a friend since they barely talk and the guy just began backstabbing me without even confronting me seriously or anything. I actually even wanted to help the guy since he was my friend and this was the first time I saw him develop a crush (Or at least one that I knew of).PS. As I've mentioned in the past, we used to go home with other people whose houses were also close by but only stopped going home with other people when they had a familial conflict. The guy's actions actually just caused us to grow closer and I somewhat pity the guy cause he ended up getting rejected which is, tbh, expected since they barely even talk online, much less irl, and he just suddenly confesses out of nowhere.PSS. I actually pursued the girl I liked for 5+ months so why would I break it off for some random girl I just met .",AITA for befriending a girl my friend has a crush on before I found out and choosing not to break the friendship?,NTA -110wd9k,"For context, I’m autistic and this person knows that. A year ago, Jordan and I were in a group of friends together. The day before my birthday (which Jordan knew), Jordan messages me: “I left the group chat, can you tell them it’s nothing personal and I just need some space for my mental well-being?” I replied of course, that I support them if they need anything and that working on them self and their health is a priority.A few months later, I sent Jordan a meme or two to look at - not enough to spam.I ask Jordan if they’re going to a party; because I haven’t seen them in awhile. I get a message back from Jordan angrily saying that they wanted nothing to do with me and to stop talking to them. I’m now thinking “woah, what did I do to make Jordan hate me so much?” I didn’t get a response when I asked what I did. I at first just thought they wanted some space. But I kept thinking why would they snap if nothing was really wrong?A few months after I ask again what I did. This time, I got the response “Oh you didn’t do anything to me I don’t hate you”At this point I’m confused. They don’t want to talk, they don’t hate me, but they want nothing to do with me?People describe me as kind, caring, etc but sometimes it can come across as caring too much or being pushy. Jordan has friends, some I talk to (not because they’re Jordan’s friends. We met through mutual interests). Jordan’s friends have recently given me the vibe that they don’t like me, so I thought Jordan said something to them.Many things happened that made me think Jordan was saying things about me, but there’s a character limit.I message Jordan asking to stop saying bad things about me to others bc they said there was no issue in the first place, so why talk bad?Jordan responds calling me immature for assuming they’re talking bad, and they’d never say anything because there’s nothing to say. I then apologized for assuming and tried to explain why I thought this, but they blocked me before I could send, calling me selfish for thinking they’re a bully, and would appreciate if I didn’t assume they were talking about me. I don’t think they’re a bully. I thought they were ranting about me; but wouldn’t let me make an impression of myself to anyone because people have only heard bad. AITA for assuming that they were talking bad about me? Or trying to understand what I did wrong to Jordan?As of my understanding now: - I didn’t do anything to Jordan, it was someone else in the friend group. When I told Jordan that we’re different people and I’m not the same as whoever hurt them, they apologized for associating me with them. After that convo, they talked to me at a party. It was only when I told them to stop talking bad that they got angry and blocked me. - Jordan didn’t say anything about me. I did believe it before, but they wouldn’t be mad if they said something bad.",AITA for messaging my old friend?,NTA -110wbtp,"I (F 15) have been friends with Nina (F 16) since about 7th grade. We were really close in 7th and the first semester of 8th until winter break. Nina became friends with Emmy (F 15) over winter break. Emmy went to a different school. Every personal thing I talked about with Nina suddenly became ""disgusting"" or ""boring"". I noticed that Nina talked to me a lot less out of school, but hung out with Emmy much more. I was fine with this, since Nina hung out with me at school. But knowing Nina, if Emmy went to our school, Nina would've started hanging out with Emmy a lot more than me. I tolerated it for the meanwhile, and even talked to her about it. I was basically shut down by her. We were friends at our lowest and helped each other up, yet she never acknowledged it.Nina's mother finds out Nina and Emmy do questionable things at the skate park, and their friendship ends there. Nina talks to me way more and acts like nothing happens. Highschool starts, we go to different schools. Sophomore year, she tells me she's transferring to my school. I'm glad, and when she comes to my school she finds new friends. That's normal, and I'm fine with it. But 3 weeks in, she ignores me in the halls, and when I try to say hi, her friends look at me weird. Lowkey offended, but I carry on.She gets into drama that she caused, and wouldn't take responsibility for it. She fatshamed someone, but acted like her guy friend took her phone and made her say it. Nina even fatshamed this person to me over messages. She then says that she apologized, but the ""apology"" was just her saying her guy friend took her phone and she wants the drama to be over. Her newfound friends drop her because of how she handled this, and she comes crawling back to me. Funny thing is, the time she came crawling back to me was around my birthday. She asked why everyone was giving me gifts at school, as if we've not been friends for 5 years. Y'know, I like when my friends know something as simple as my birthday. I've literally wished her one every year, and even this year after what she pulled. I do think some of her actions have been inconsiderate lately.I know that if her new friends didn't drop her because of the drama, she would not have become friends with me again. I was very annoyed, and tried confronting her in October about this. Completely brushed off. Tried confronting her in January about how I don't feel that close to her. She says it's because we don't hang out out of school, so I start hanging out with her more, practically all of January. Still don't feel close. I told her 3 days ago that the root of it is how she has treated me like an option multiple times. Her response? ""Get over it, that was in August, I can't change the past."" What? I can't get over it because this isn't the first time she's left me for other people. I understand she wanted to branch out, but this recurring feeling of being made an option hurt. AITA for being so annoyed at her?",AITA for bringing up something that happened half a year ago to one of my friends because it still annoys me?,ESH -110jtxy,"A big backstory but it’s super relevant so bear with me. I (27F) have never been close to my one sibling (32F). We have opposite personalities (I’m an observer and she’s a verbal fighter) and had a very tumultuous childhood that separated us instead of bring us closer. I had a child first and nothing changed in our relationship, partly because she lived in another state, but mostly because she was mad I didn’t attend her wedding even though I gave birth only 4 days before. Eventually they moved back to my state and once she had a child we started to get closer, because it did change her perspective significantly. We’d talk constantly and see each other every couple days and do all kinds of things together with our kids. I was really happy that we had moved past our parents shit and come out the other side.Fast forward five years and our relationship has never been more strained. Every time I talk to her she says/does something so appalling that I am seriously considering going NC with her. For example: my dads gf is a Dr. Sis asked Dr if she had commitment issues because she wasn’t married, never mind the ~10 years she committed to helping people.Okay main story! Her husband has lost 3/4 grandparents in the last year and the one remaining is declining quickly. Sis+BIL are going to Mexico for the better part of a week in March which is not abnormal for them. They live comfortably on his income and she is a SAHM by choice so they take a couple trips a year, leaving their 2 boys with his parents. Sis asked if I could be backup to watch them which I said yes to because I didn’t really think it would happen. But now his parents aren’t sure if they can take the boys because no one knows what’s going to happen to the last grandparent. I have two kids of my own, and while I make my own schedule, both my husband and I work full time. We don’t have space in our house or a car that would accommodate four kids ages 1-9. She knows all of this, but with the trip getting closer and his parents watching them becoming less likely, she is trying to set up accommodations that will make it easier for me to watch the boys (including renting a van to fit all the kids!)My husband (always a calm voice of reason) said “if my last grandparent was sick I would be cancelling my trip and spending time with them.” My BIL has had a difficult time dealing with the deaths, and recently took a solo trip to the mountains that I was a little concerned about. So when sister texted me asking if I’d watch the boys at her house or mine, I straight up asked her if they wouldn’t cancel the trip. Her response? “No haha”This situation feels gross and it’s only the most recent. If I tell her I’m not watching the kids, they will definitely still go on their trip and leave the boys with his parents. His parents don’t like me but pretend to and will 100% blame me for making a difficult situation harder on them. I’m pretty sure I’m not wrong, but this whole thing is gaslighting me so hard. AITA?ETA: I want to make clear that I am absolutely going to watch them if needed. I already told work I couldn’t come in those days and my husband and I have talked about just going everywhere in two cars. I committed to being backup and will do it if his parents can’t. It just feels wrong to me to not cancel their trip if his situation is so serious.",AITA for not wanting to watch my nephews?,YTA -1110ecw,"I (f19) have been with my bf (m19) for over a year now. we've had our fair share of problems, but we've talked most of them through and right now were in a pretty healthy relationship.early in, he was lying about a lot of things that included talking to girls behind my back that he knew i was worried about and also hiding our relationship (not telling girls that was into him that he was taken). he started to see a therapist over his lying and after a couple of months, he was doing a lot better and i've chosen to forget about it, however because of his past i do have just a little bit of a hard time trusting him.recently, he was talking to people online about me (i didn't snoop or stalk him, he admitted to it), but in a pretty negative light. This was before we talked about our problems so we weren't very good to each other. he was telling people a lot of things about me without putting any of the blame onto himself and in turn they were telling him that they should break up with me because of course he painted himself to be perfect. when he told me he said he was going to stop and delete the app where he was talking to strangers.but then i caught him doing it again... he said he would stop (again) and we had a really long and healthy talk about it and he said he would delete the app. (i didn't ask him to delete it, though it did make me unhappy, he just said he would)and then today i saw him doing it again. i feel pretty defeated. i love him too much to consider breaking up with him but idk what to do anymore. i really don't want to see him on valentine's day but he had the entire day planned for the two of us and i know that if i did cancel it would resolve in a fight so... WIBTA?",WIBTA if i canceled on valentines day?,NTA -110pf67,"Background: My family lives in Florida and my cousin (lets call her L) lives in Massachusetts. She is 10yrs old and really loves Disney movies, she will be visiting soon. Her family has not really been good to her. Her parents aren’t together and she lives with her grandparents on both sides because her parents are generally unable to take care of her. Her mother is kind of crazy, and is a hoarder (she hoarded my cousins bedroom when she moved back in with said grandparents). When L was younger and living with her she developed trichotillomania and pulled all her eyelashes and eyebrows out (luckily they’ve grown back and she doesn’t do that anymore), and she was only allowed to bathe once a week at her house (I don’t think this is the case anymore), but Even now kids make fun of her for not having her hair combed sometimes, and she’s not allowed to eat what she wants at her house because her grandma is controlling. On my side of the family, my uncle (L’s dad) has had addiction problems his whole life, and has gotten arrested a few times, he cares about her, but he’s not really capable of being a good dad. My grandma is the only one that’s really nice to her and capable of taking care of her from what I’ve talked to L about. So here is the problem, we want to take L to Disney world, but my grandmother is worried because L’s mother promised she would take her to Disney. In my opinion, L’s mother would never be able to afford taking her to Disney and would never make it a priority. I just want to make her childhood have one magical moment, she really needs it after our grandpa just passed. My parents are ready to pay for her to go. Would my family be the assholes if we took her to Disney against her mothers wishes?TLDR: my family wants to take my cousin to Disney but my cousins mom already promised she would, but most of us know that’s very unlikely to happen due to my cousins mom being very unstable. Would it be wrong for us to do this on the off chance her mother really does get it together and takes her?",WIBTA for wanting to take my cousin to Disney?,NTA -110xp1h,"Recently we moved back into the US in a rich neighborhood and the people are very nosey. Being the only poc on the street already brings a lot of attention to us (We are Afro Latino). My (20F) mom (40) and dad (41) tell me to lay low so we don’t draw any unwanted attention. I understand that they don’t want to be judged and I respect it, but I find it so odd. My stepdad and I barley interact. He is very well-off, reserved, and he worked hard to get to where he is at. Since we met, my mom always made it seem like we couldn’t talk or form any opinions around him. Before me and my sister (19) started college, he said he would pay for our tuition. I was relieved since we lived in a country where I couldn’t work. Tuition is about 5-6k a year. I am a broke 3rd year in uni working PT. I am trying to save so I can move out and pay for grad school. I thought that he was going to pay for all of my tuition since he made it seem that way, but he made me take out loans. My mom tells me not too long ago, that he expects me to pay those loans. He never told me. That upset me but I didn't say anything. I need to save for that too. He is going to charge rent as soon as I graduate. Right now, I am paying for everything else I need, including my car, and its insurance. I don't have a problem with that, and I am thankful for all he provides. I have always followed the rules of the house. I have to be at home before 10pm, make my bed before 10 am etc ://Before classes started, he made me drop a class because the tuition was ""too high"" and he hasn't even been paying a third of it since I got scholarships and the loans. He said that it was bc I am putting a lot on my plate but I knew it was bc of the money since he complained abt the cost. Nonetheless, I respectfully withdrew from the class though I was upset.Last week, I got into an accident that left a dent in my 2010 Corolla that I am paying for. (It wasn't my fault, and it's being battled-out). Right now, I can’t pay for it to get fixed as I am saving for a research trip that I am going to. My mom told me that he is asking when I am going to fix it bc it looks bad parked in front of the house and the neighbors who pass are seeing it. I told her that if this affects him too, he can pay for it so it can fix HIS problem with it. I wish I could fix it now, but I can't afford it. It's MY problem and I don't see why he has to make it his if he's not going to fix it. If he tells me in person I don't know how I'd react because I don’t want to disrespect him. I want to tell him that if he wants to give me ""adult responsibilities"" and make terms and conditions for what responsibilities I can and cannot have, then he should leave me alone. My sister was kicked out a few months ago for constantly opening her mouth and getting caught doing things a Christian household doesn't agree with. I feel stuck. I wish I could leave but I don’t have the means.",WIBTA if I confront my stepdad for the way he acts towards me?,NTA -11106my,"I'll try to keep this short. Quick disclaimer that both of these instances are just our way of fondly bickering. No one was or is actually mad, I'm mostly wanting reddit to help settle things so we know who gets the W here. Me: 39f, partner 36mInstance one: over making dinner we are talking about our day. I was helping my company out by filling in at another office where I don't usually work. I start to complain about how the water there stinks badly. The maintenance man there had told me there was a design flaw in the plumbing, so the p-trap failed to form a ""seal,"" and therefore, to my disgust, the offending smell was actually literal sewage odor coming up through the pipes.I start to explain this to him and our son (14) and I only get about that far in my telling, when he stops me and begins to explain the purpose of a the shape of the pipes under the sink, and why they prevent that from happening ordinarily. I become irritated, and tell him as much, bc clearly I'm aware of that, which should have been clear in what I just said in my antidote. I didn't understand why he felt the need to explain anything. Second incident: we're in our bathroom getting ready for bed, and I mentioned that I liked a song I briefly heard him listening to earlier, when my cars Bluetooth connected to him phone momentarily when I got home from work. He excitedly starts talking about them, and says ""yeah! They're a prog band!"" To which a jokingly say, ""oh yeah? They're from Prague?"" He stops with his tooth rush midway to his mouth. ""PROGRESSIVE ROCK (begins diatribe on the history of the genre, on which we've had many discussions before)I said that's twice now you've mansplained to me just this evening. He contends that in both cases, it was reasonable and legitimate to assume I was ignorant of what he wanted to tell me. And maybe he was wrong on both counts of me not knowing, that it was perfectly reasonable to think that. And that IATA for saying he was mansplaining. So, am I or is he?",AITA for accusing my partner of mansplaining?,YTA -110nddo,"Recent college grad living with family. I'm not inherently invited over the neighbors house and nobody will be expecting or asking about me. My neighbors are nice but every time we meet up for anything we don't really chat much and I just sit around while the neighbors whom are usually 20+ years older than me lead most of the conversation.I just really don't care about anything the super bowl has to offer including the ads and halftime show. I'll be sitting there eating other people's food pretending like I'm enjoying myself when in reality I'd rather be at home. Last time we got together for Thanksgiving this was basically it, light and polite conversation but otherwise bored out of my mind and know this won't be any different even if I try.AITA for wanting to tell my family I don't want to walk over and go through this again? It's honestly just social anxiety for me, and not my crowd. If so, what's the best way to approach this and tell them in a way they would understand?So would I be the asshole for telling them I don't want to go & how do I respond to my brother who will get in a yelling argument with me and insult me about this? (it's inevitable, will definitely happen. Environment is pretty toxic)Also, my family doesn't even talk to me during these and and they move around a lot to talk to everyone and don't do anything to include me in conversation. I really don't even understand why they feel like they want me to come, get upset if I don't, when they don't even have me involved. It's just terrible",AITA For not wanting to go to a Super Bowl Party?,NTA -110jka8,"I 15m went to a party my school arrange and there it was a game smash bros , i played smash bros alot so i decided to play. After some rounds and beating people a girl and her friends came and she wanted to play so the first round i beat her and then she asked for a reamatch and i beat her again she stormed of angry with her friends after her. One the friends asked me if i could let her win and i said no, i disagree on being sympathetic and letting people win beacause they should earn it not by sympathy. So later she came back and asked for another reamatch and i agree, she picked pikachu and i picked Ness and we decided to have a 7 round battle. She and her friends decided to shit talk me so i did it back, i beat her in every single round and she stormed of crying, her friends called me a asshole and said that she is very competetive and i should have let her win some rounds so aita",AITA for not letting someone win in super smash bros ultimate,NTA -110nvc5,"Okay, so about 4 years ago I moved out and live with my bf about 2 hours away. I try to go over and visit my family as much as I can as I have a bunch of younger sibling I want a strong relationship with. I’m the oldest of 7 so that means A LOT of birthday parties and events to go to and I try to go to every single one that I can. I live my own separate life now and sometimes it hard to keep track of all of those birthdays and usually my mom invites me way ahead of time bc we usually celebrate the weekend before or after the birthday. So I made plans a while back to go to a Super Bowl party and see my best friend who I haven’t seen forever and her parents whom I am really close with and haven’t seen in 3 years. Unfortunately this happened to fall on the day my mom wanted to celebrate my dads birthday and literally invited me like 3 days before, and I told her why i couldn’t go. She literally goes off on me starts trying to guilt trip me and stuff and just makes me feel really awful. It’s really hard to say no to my mom as she can be very forceful, and manipulative. I just recently have found to courage to stand up to her, but it’s so hard bc some of the things she says to force me into doing something are so horribly effective. So, now it’s the day of the party, I’m getting ready to see my friends family and my mom messaged me again saying that my grandparents surprised my dad and are in town, and that I have to cancel my plans immediately and come see them and celebrate my dads birthday. As much as I want to see my grandparents I don’t want to cancel on my friends family bc I feel that is incredibly rude and it’s not my fault that my grandparents showed up out of nowhere. I tell my mom this and that I’m sorry but I’m not coming and she starts gilt tripping me again saying that they are in their 80’s and we don’t know how long they have left and that I am being selfish for choosing a Super Bowl party over this. But this isn’t a Super Bowl party to me, i personally don’t even care about the Super Bowl, this was about seeing my great friend and her family that I have an amazing bond with and haven’t seen in years, and also the principale of not canceling last minute on someone and also saying no to my guilt tripping mother. So now my entire family is mad at me thinks I’m a piece of shit daughter and granddaughter.AITA for not going?",AITA for not canceling my plans to go to my dad’s birthday party?,NTA -110rray,English won’t be perfect as it’s my first language so apologies in advance.I (15M) am quite a athletic person so I’ve decided to do a charity event bike ride. It’s 80 (miles) and about 9842 feet of elevation (3000 meters). This is where my friend (17F) comes in who is frustrated that I should pushing myself more her reasoning being that I’m going to do a 207 mile bike ride next year and I should try hard for charity. Some extra notes are that the charity in doing it for does have some harder rides and that it’s a personal thing close to her. Another note is that I haven’t been on my A game with training because some people close to me have passed away which she knows.,"AITA for not trying my hardest, when it comes to a charity event.",NTA -110zpw1,"My parents are immigrants, in Canada. They’ve worked hard to get where they are and I owe them a lot. However throughout my life they’ve abused me in numerous ways. They don’t anymore but we have a really rocky relationship. I’m thinking about leaving the house when in a couple months (I’m 16). I live with my parents, 2 younger siblings and my grandparents. I feel like this would negatively affect my family but living in this house is suffocating. I’ve got work, housing and all those things planned out. I’m just wondering WIBTA if I moved out?",WIBTA if I moved out?,YWNBTA -110tuep,"Hello Reddit! I made a throwaway account real quick to ask you all about this disagreement between me and my neighbor—my college is pretty small so if this were on my main account people could probably track it down to my real identity rather easily. All right so the main problem here, other than potentially my behavior depending on what you think, is that the dorm I’m staying in was built very recently. I’m a second-year and, if my knowledge is correct, my class was the first to actually reside in the building. Due to this, some parts of the building are “incomplete.”Specifically, the ceilings are unfinished, so there are gaps between neighboring rooms right above the walls. Even beyond this, the walls are thin, so neighbors can hear every little noise from one another. At times this even includes chewing and breathing.Let’s get on with it: two weeks ago I started watching Jurassic Park late at night. I’m more of a night owl, so “late at night” for me means 2 a.m. It 100% is my favorite film since childhood. No matter how many times I see it, I never get sick of it. Lately I’ve felt a bit homesick, and watching it reminds me of my late grandma who I used to watch it with regularly as a kid. It’s hard to make friends in college, especially since I’m far away from home. Jurassic Park helps me feel a little less isolated.Here is where I might be the asshole: both my neighbors have complained about the noise. They said they both have classes in the morning, and Jurassic Park is keeping them up at night.I’m sympathetic to this—I truly am, since I also get ticked off when they talk on the phone while I’m trying to sleep.The last time they told me to go to bed, I turned down the volume. They could still hear it, though. The thing is, I would watch it with headphones if I could, but I don’t have a pair.AITA? I really do empathize with them, but I can’t help but feel as thought they are a tiny bit hypocritical, since they have also kept me up at night. Does that make me hypocritical as well?",AITA for watching Jurassic Park in my dorm late at night?,YTA -110l0yw,"I (33F) saw my partner (35M) put a small dent in my leased car, when they were both parked next to each other in our driveway. He didn’t acknowledge it until I asked him why he was so careless with my property (not taking the lengths to carefully open his door to avoid my car). He said it wasn’t a big deal, and was upset I was angry that he was being what I saw as reckless with my vehicle. He said it was our mutual property, and again it wasn’t a big deal. I asked him to park in the road (right in front of our house) and not in the driveway since he has been pretty consistent about doing this with other cars as well. He says I’m the asshole for asking him to park away from my car in the road, and I should park in the road. I said I don’t feel like I should have to since I am not the one denting cars. I am also the one mainly transporting our child, I think I should have the space to put him in away from the road. I feel like I’m so careful to avoid his car, and he doesn’t extend the same curtesy to me. Since he doesn’t see why hitting my car is really bothersome to me, or that it’s a big deal, that he should park away from me. AITA?",AITA for asking my partner to park in the road after denting my car.,NTA -11137vt,"To improve my Arabic at uni, I downloaded Instagram 2nd year and started posting in Arabic. I'd really only had Facebook as social media before and I was honestly unprepared for the sheer amount of attention I was going to receive. Why are you learning Arabic, miss? Miss? Are you trying to get a Muslim husband? Boobs? Do you have a boyfriend? Do you sleep with all your boyfriends? Whore!&#x200B;But it really was improving my conversational Arabic! I had a notebook full of phrases I'd picked up just from DMs! Maybe a normal person would have deleted Insta. I did not do this. Instead, I started occasionally mentioning 'my fiance'. &#x200B;It really wasn't often, but I would definitely bring him up if I thought a guy was getting a bit too friendly. I was fairly vague about who he was, other than Arabic-speaking...and then I got asked out IRL, for the first time.&#x200B;We have been dating ever since. I finished my degree and we eventually moved to a different city, and I started occasionally referring to him as 'my husband' on Insta and TikTok.&#x200B;Anyway, all was roses for about a year until my boyfriend got a job at a really, really prestigious company, and about the same time I lost mine. So he was going out until 10pm at night or not coming home at all and making more money than either of us combined ever had, and I was burning through my savings, bored and lonely at home, and only making money through teaching English online- previously only been a side gig. It still doesn't entirely cover my rent and I'm frantically jobhunting because I can't afford my heating.&#x200B;This left me with nothing to do during the day, so I go to museums and make a video about museum vocab or British history or something. I'm literally so bored I've taken up birdwatching. Wildlife of Britain. Video. Done. The hardy-perennial Walkers packet and a rare migratory cigarette stub.&#x200B;My boyfriend has been so busy lately and tbh was never great with timekeeping that he keeps standing me up, or calling me an hour after we were supposed to meet to say sorry, still at the office. So I have been left alone at restaurants and all kinds of stuff I can't pay for anymore, and each time I make a post about my lovely husband. The further we seem to grow apart, the more I post about how great and stable my fake relationship is, and how happy I am.&#x200B;&#x200B;However my boyfriend seems really upset about my teaching English lately, and the joke we had about my hordes of Algerian boyfriends honestly has a nasty tone now. He complains that I'm always on my phone, but I have to be because I'm applying to jobs and Instagram is work for me. He now thinks it's creepy that I refer to him as my husband and wants me to stop, but it's so I don't get constantly harassed online. I'm not doing it IRL.Do I confess to my followers that my husband isn't real? I have already said that he's part of my private life, not my professional one, so I won't post photos or videos with him....Do I fake a divorce?",AITA for faking a husband?,NTA -110n1y4,"A little back ground Im 21yo and I just found out I'm pregnant last monday. I still live in the home I lived in when my dad and ""stepmom"" were together with her, her new boyfriend and some other people. My dad passed away July 2021. They were together almost 10 years but never married which is why I say ""stepmom"". I have an older sister that has 3 kids and her kids call her grandma. All except the last were born while my dad was still alive. Fast forward to now and my dad is gone and my ""stepmom"" has a new boyfriend. While we do have a relationship Im not comfortable with my kid calling her Grandma when she has a new boyfriend and my boyfriend and I both have good relationships with our own mothers. Im not opposed to a nickname if she doesn't want to be called by her real name I just don't like the title Grandma. I do care about her and don't want to hurt her feelings especially since she already has that title with my sister's kids, but I just don't like it. AITA?","AITA for not wanting my ""stepmom"" to be called grandma",NAH -110v2nt,"My (30M) gf (33F) and I have been together for about 10 months now. I am fortunate enough to have been able to purchase my own townhome about 5 years ago. Because of various life events, my gf hasn't had that opportunity yet, so she rents her own apartment. Yesterday, I brought up the idea of her moving in with me. I feel like our relationship is going well, and we are definitely moving in that direction. She said that while she would like to live together, she refuses to move in with a guy and not have any financial stake in the property.Backstory: Her previous bf owned his home, invited her to move in, then dumped her two months later. It took her a bit of time to find a new place to live, so while she was still in his house, he treated her terribly, gaslighted her, and just did things to try to get a rise out of her. Then, he kicked her out before her new place was ready for her to move in. So, this has put a bad taste in her mouth about this kind of thing.I said that I wasn't sure about putting her on the deed (because that's such a huge deal, for both of us). She said she completely understands, and would never want me to do anything that I was uncomfortable with. I said that I still would like her to move in, and she said that she wasn't willing to. I started to get kind of mad, because she should know that I would never just kick her out, even if the relationship didn't end up working. We argued about it, and she ended up going home early. AITA for how I handled this?Edit to clear something up: If I did put her on the deed, I wouldn't do it for nothing. We would work out some sort of financial arrangement so that she would be contributing.",AITA for asking her to move in with me?,YTA -110r2yj,"My (17f) twin brother (17m) hates it when people tell him they love him, even if its from our mom, our dad, our older sister, or me. Sometimes I tease him and cause him to be embarrassed by saying it in public.Yesterday he had some friends over so I randomly walked up to him and hugged him and said I love him. He got really upset and pushed me away and when his friends left he yelled at me for doing it. AITA?",AITA for teasing my twin brother in front of his friends?,YTA -111331y,"The other day, I went to a local gas station near me that I frequent and decided to grab a couple 2 liters of soda because I saw a tag where they were saying 2 for $4.50. So I went to pay and the price was different, so I told the clerk and he said that they were $2.99 each, so I grabbed the tag, took it to him and he gave the two 2 liters to me for $4.50. I decided to go in the next day for different drinks and take them up to the same guy and he had a tag saying 2/$4.50 1 liter, stapled to a receipt and told me that I owed him $2.83 for the difference and that it came out of his pay, and starts acting like I was trying to scam him so I tell him that it wasn't my fault and refused to pay not even telling him first how the math was wrong. He didn't like that I said I wasn't going to pay so immediately told me he wasn't going to let me buy anything, so naturally there were some words exchanged and I left. Btw my State has no sales tax.",AITA in this gas station situation?,NTA -110r1kl,"I turn 21 (f) on Wednesday and I don't really know what I want to do for my birthday, but drinking really isn't one of them. I'm another year older and I am more excited about getting the lunch box and new work pants I asked for, than to be allowed to legally drink.My parents (50f,m) seem far more excited about how I can drink than I am. Although my parents won't admit it or do anythign about it, they alcoholics and there is nothing more I hate than being around them when they've been drinking. Ever since I turned 16, I've been woken up in the middle of the night to give them rides home, I've had to listen to endless hours of them slurring their words in the car, and saying some really hurtful stuff while drunk, completely bulldozing over my feelings.I know they're just trying to connect with me and make me feel special, but it's making me feel worse and I am at a loss for what to do about it.On my actual birthday, my brother has to work and my dad will be out of town so I was going to go over to my mom's house for dinner with my grandparents. Then go out to the bars Friday night and go for mimosas on Sunday with my mom and some family friends. I am completely ok with that. They keep nagging me about doing more and it doesn't make me feel good. This last year has been awful for me and has left me lonely so them making me feel like I should be doing more, going out with more people, go out with them, and all that makes me want to stay in more.I've been pretty avoidant of the topic of my birthday and my mom got snappy with me the other night about it and was hurt when I said I didn't want to make any more plans or celebrate anymore. She made a big deal about me making her feel guilty about my parents going out and having fun with friends as a kid.AITA for not wanting to do anything for my birthday?",AITA for not wanting to do anything for my birthday?,NTA -1113308,"For some background, my GF and her family celebrate a ""birthday week"". &#x200B;So this year, me and some friends are planning on going on a trip, I invited my GF along, initially this would have covered her birthday (not the week), I asked her if this would mean she didn't want to go, she said it would, so I said I wouldn't go either then - where she then asked if I was sure as she would hate for me to miss out, I said yes, I was sure. The dates then changed so I would get back the day before her BDay, I asked her if she would like to go now, she said no, but wasn't sure, so I said she didn't have to decide right then. I asked her about this again, and she got upset with me, saying she wanted to do something with me the weekend before her BDay, and then see her friends the weekend after (this wasn't ever communicated to me before the last time I asked her), which wouldn't be possible if I was on holiday. I asked if she wanted to swap the weekends, which I didn't get a response to, if my GF did later say that she didn't feel like she should have to compromise around her BDay. I even said I was still planning on taking the rest of the week off after my holiday as well, so I could celebrate the week with her, to which she said she didn't know if she was going to take it off (which confused me given the ""birthday week""), and seemed angry with me for having this plan (which admittedly, I hadn't communicated taking the rest of the week off to her). I'm just really confused about it all, and I'm wondering whether I'm the asshole for upsetting my GF, and not putting her and her BDay first over my holiday?","AITA for possibly ""missing"" my GF's birthday?",NTA -110wrlt,"This usually happens a lot where one of the siblings or I would do something wrong. But then the parents would then perceive it as all of us doing it wrong and then just go into a series of rants explaining how we’re wrong in many ways. While they would do this they then would compare a sibling to another and say how they’re better and say they aren’t “comparing & just want to show you the difference” This time it started because my older brother was late for a meeting for a community hours thing we both had to go to. So they begin by staying on topic to him but make me stay and watch for like 10 minutes, I ask if I can go and they say I have to stay. After the 10 minutes they go on to how we’re going to fail getting into a good school and how we’re going to not get a good life based off my 2 B+’s and my brothers 1 F (The rest of our grades are A’s) My mom pointed out his F which I had no knowledge of, I knew he was having trouble but not failing. My dad was not aware too. Then he got pissed off at me for my 2 B+’s which are my fault. I’m going to get them up. I’ve just been having problems with school since I don’t get much sleep anymore because I’m doing school work till 2 every morning so I only get like 5 or 4 hours. They’ve known this part. After that they went onto how I have an attitude problem and how “I shouldn’t ask why” when they tell me something. I have been getting better at not questioning anything. My dad told me to see what happens if I do it again. Then he points out both our insecurities of not knowing how to ride a bike because we never had bikes and never taught us. My older brother is tearing up by this point and I’m just pissed but we don’t say anything, until later when they have another argument where I hear banging and yelling. The worst one was probably how we put a strain on their relationship by their different ideas of how we are bad. My dad’s is far more severe than my mom’s but they ultimately both think we suck and will be alone and unsuccessful. Just the amount and reasoning are uncertainAfter they say that they love us and by this point I was drained for the day, like all my happiness is gone. So I avoided them when they wanted me to come by doing studies and got all their work done quickly. Throughout this time they also acted weird and referenced how we hurt them. I also got a call from my relative asking about my brother meaning he probably told her. So I’m now hiding in the bathroom writing this. This happens once every week or 2 but this time really hurt idk why. I just needed a break. TDLR: My parents got mad at my brother and took it out on us by pointing out our insecurities. Also revealed a few private mattes such as how my brother is failing a class and how we put a strain on their relationship. I avoided them and while I was near them they referenced the argument and how we caused all of it/how we are horrible to them. So AITA for trying to avoid?",AITA for avoiding my parents?,NTA -110zak9,"When I (15F) was around 6/7 my mom met my now stepdad, who at the time was the greatest guy ever to me. He played with me, gave me whatever I wanted in his room that I found, and treated me like I was his best friend. Then, my mom and him got together, mostly because my mom was excited to meet a guy who acted like the father I never had, since my biological father was mostly absent in my life, but recently has been giving an effort to be there for me. After they dated, around 6 years ago my mom got pregnant with my stepbrother, and before she had him they got married. Once my brother was born, they both started giving him more attention, but I was forgiving since I was growing and needed my space and also because it was a baby, I can’t blame them for having to be with him. However in the past 2-3 years my stepdad has been colder, angrier, etc. He cooks my brother food and not me, he plays for hours with my brother, and then claims he’s too tired for me, when I asked him to hang out with me first, and goes so far as to guilt me into giving my brother my stuff and letting my brother push me around. When I’m with my stepdad, it’s a constant gamble of getting the loving guy who wants to talk anime or video games, or an angry man I barely know who blames me for every little thing. Most days it’s the second. However, since my dad has been back in my life more, I bring him up saying “I’ll just ask my dad” or “maybe I’ll just go live with my dad instead” whenever we argue or fight, such as today he refused to get me food, order me food, or prepare food. He then went into the kitchen and saw we HAD no food, then claiming it was my fault because I was in my room during dinner, when no one told me dinner was ready, or even here.I left crying, claiming I just wouldn’t eat and he said “that’s not the point” Where I might be TA is the fact that I’m a moody teenager, and maybe over the years I’ve said stuff I didn’t realize annoyed him, and maybe I’ve just pushed him over the edge. My mom also claims it’s hard for my stepdad because I “don’t treat him like my father, with the respect he deserves” But at the same time, I feel like since he has a biological kid now, he’s pushed me to the side, and I don’t think I should be giving him respect, because if he doesn’t act like my father, he isn’t. To me, he’s just a man who lives with us.So, AITA for being petty, bringing up my biological dad, and not acting like he’s my dad, when he doesn’t act like it?",AITA for not liking my stepdad and constantly bringing up my real dad,NTA -110iiuo,"I (15m) and my sister (14f) have chores we do. That’s fine and understandable. Our chores cover the whole house minus the upstairs because my sisters room is in the main level and the basement was converted into a room for me. We do our own laundry, and for the most part make dinner for ourselves. We also clean most the house. Today me and my sister went along to try and do our chores and my mom started yelling about how we need to listen and follow direction. She said that our normal chores “aren’t how todays gonna go” and told us we had to clean the entire house, and like always, gave me the majority of the chores. I have to completely clean the upstairs as well as my normal chores and I asked her why I had to clean the upstairs if me and my sister don’t go up there and every mess up there is made by her and her boyfriend. She said it was a mess and there was dog hair all over the stairs and upstairs (not my dogs, I have a cat who I groom, feed, wash, and care for so I don’t see how this is my problem) now I’m not saying my does nothing, she works 8 hours a day. But when she’s home she does nothing, I have school for 7-8 hours depending on my classes (online school) plus I clean the majority of the house and I make my own dinner because my mom doesn’t feel like cooking (her own words) so I told her that it’s annoying how she expects us to do everything and that she just wants an excuse to be lazy AITA?EDIT: She just came in the bathroom yelling and cursing at me saying I’m doing it wrong, and giving me a step by step instruction on how to clean. She then called me a dick, a douchbag, and a gaslighter. I’m so tired of her shit",AITA for telling my mom she just wants an excuse to be lazy?,NTA -110uqv2,"Im friends with this coworker of mine. I find her funny and we have a lot in common so I think she’s cool. We do chat throughout the day. I am VERY introverted and while I do like people, I prefer being on my own most of the time. We have gone to lunch together a few times but I mostly enjoy having my lunch on my own. I’ve been wondering if it comes off as ass-hole-ish that I don’t really invite her to eat with me and take most of my breaks and lunches by myself? I mean Im sure it could be disappointing depending on her expectations (she’s never complained about it to my knowledge) but is it asshole behavior?",AITA for mostly wanting to be alone?,NTA -110wjsm,"I'll try to not give a lot of context, in an attempt to keep mine and this person's identities hidden. Long ago, I finished a friendship of years with a person because I was seriously done with their attitude. They were eerily obsessed with me, going as far as trying to force me to date them and then guilt-tripping me when I told them to leave me alone. Recently, I found out that they were back online under a new alias and started to try to contact me through their ""friends"" (whom I'm positive they're just fake accounts of theirs). When I found out they were at it again, I tried to contact them through a friend of mine in order to get a few of my roleplay characters back. Their response? Playing victim by telling my friend that they won't give me my characters because they ""legally"" own them, then putting me as the evil one because I won't ""leave them alone"" (oh, the irony). I recently found out they changed their username once again and hid the evidence. I'm really angry because this person keeps using my characters and ideas without permission and getting away with it, while I'm unable to do a single thing about it.My question here is, am I wrong for having tried to get my characters back or should I just move on and let this person do what they want, even after affecting me emotionally in more than a way in the past and still somehow trying to do it again?",AITA for trying to get my stuff back?,NTA -110rrhj,"My wife and I see my family at least once a week and live next door to them. We also have a great relationship with my family. Because we live so close to my parents, they frequently ask if we can come to dinner, events, parties, trips, and the like. We are invited to do something together at least 3-5 times a month. We enjoy being with them.Yesterday we were invited to go their Super Bowl party, I told them I would have to check the Calendar with my wife, but that it would be fun (I never know the schedule so I thought I would wait to see if we had plans). My wife worked 4 long days, while sick, and is in school. She also needs me to help her with homework, so we decide to rest tonight.I replied to my dad 5 hours before the party and said we sadly won’t be making it, but are excited to see them next week to celebrate Mom’s Birthday. He texts back and says we should at least come say hey. At this point it feels like a demand to come and not an ask, so I restate that we can’t come tonight. Then my sister asks if we are coming. I tell her the same thing I told my dad, she rebuttals with “If you find time you should come say hey”. So I restate that we can’t come tonight. Then I get a text from my mom: “You Should at least come by and have dinner you have to eat anyway, we won’t ask you to stay!”At this point, it feels like we are being told to come, not asked. It’s not even that we don’t want to see them, but no matter our response, the reply is always: “Just come by!”What. In. The. World. Am the butthole? Can we not just stay in tonight, rest, and help my wife with her homework?",WIBTA if my Wife and I didn’t go to my Family’s Super Bowl Party?,NTA -110oe76,"My (22m) stepsister Sarah (20f) is getting married in a few months. Normally this is something I wouldn’t miss for anything. However, I’m trans (ftm) and had a falling out with our parents in October because they don’t agree with that. Essentially, I had been living with them while going to college and when I told them I was starting testosterone, they basically kicked me out. During our falling out, Sarah’s mom (my stepmother) expressed that I would never be accepted into her family and that she doesn’t want to expose her nephews to me. So I made the executive decision to cut that side of my family off when I left, with the exception of Sarah who has refused to take sides in the matter and acted as sort of a middle man with stuff like mail and important messages.Recently, Sarah told me she’s getting married and I’m invited to the wedding. I don’t really know her fiancé, I’m pretty sure they’ve only been together since around August, but I want to be there to support them. She’s my sister and missing something like this feels wrong. But Sarah’s mom’s side of the family and my father will obviously all be there and I feel like my presence would stir up drama that I just don’t want to deal with. I also know for a fact I would be misgendered and deadnamed the entire day and I Really don’t want to deal with that. It would just be a very uncomfortable situation altogether. And I know Sarah would understand but I still feel like I would be the asshole if I didn’t go and support my sister over something that’s not her fault.",WIBTA if I didn’t go to my sister’s wedding?,NTA -110re0b,"I'm 25f, sister 27.She and my neice have been living with me for 4 months now. She lost her job 3 weeks ago.When I ask about interviews, she says she's always told she asks for too much (high pay).She was making around 17.50 at her old job, and when she applies for jobs now, she'll ask for 20 to 24 per hour.I told her she should ask for 18.50/19 to 21 per hour. I think she's going too high and would be a wide jump to think she'll get someone over 21 per hour.She does have an Associates and 2 years experience. However, I believe companies aren't going to pay that high for the positions she wants,More of once, you've been with the company for so long and / or seeing how well the job managed before paying that out.",AITA for telling my sister to ask for less?,NAH -110yk95,"I think the title doesn't sound as bad but...I (29M) am from Singapore. Three years ago I got a huge backpiece from a tattoo artist. Lets call him Mark (38M). We became friends. Mark is a single father (will be important later). Six months later he called me to borrow SGD3000 (around USD2250) from me. I said yes without hesitation. He told me he sold his house, car and downside his tattoo shop. I didn't ask why because I think it's kind of private. He said he would return the money within a month but he kept delaying. Finally I gave him 6 months to get himself together and told him he could return me SGD200 every month after that. He would still delay the repayment. Monday became Friday. Beginning of the month became end of the month. I only receive the first SGD200 4 months ago.I gave him an ultimatum last month. If he kept delaying repayment, I would make a police report. He didn't return the money this month (he said he would transfer SGD200 on the first Friday of the month. Then it became 2nd Friday then nothing). So I made the report last Saturday. I knew it wouldn't affect him much beside his bank credit rating.So I had an idea. I will blank out my details and post it on Google review. He has 5 star review. I gave him 5 star review 3 years ago and it's one of the 'most relevant' reviews. I will change the review to 1 star and post the police report on Google review. I think this will affect his business but seeing he is a single father I feel terrible if I went through with the plan.WIBTA if I changed the review?","WIBTA if I give my ""friend's"" business a bad review?",YWBTA -110yk5o,"I (F, 15) have a friend of 11 years who we'll call Macy (F, 15). Macy and I have been very good friends, but recently I've been finding her a bit annoying and have a new group of friends I feel a lot more comfortable around, more than I ever have with her. But I've never broken it off with her because I'm very close to her family and our moms are very good friends.For background information, obviously, I've had a few embarrassing phases, the main ones being my Gacha phase and my Dream SMP phase. I told her about them because they happened a few years ago and we were a lot closer then. Well, one time in homeroom, she said very loudly, ""Remember when you told me you watched a You're Not My Alpha gacha life?"" She said it in front of everyone and everyone heard it, so I was very embarrassed. She also often brings up my Dream SMP phase and talks about how the members are cringy and annoying which is just being rude at that point.Music has always been very important to me, it's always been an escape from everything. I spend at least 2 hours a day listening to music and it's very therapeutic for me. I had this one playlist that had almost every song I'd ever loved. Even from when I was a kid. It took me years to find all these songs, and half of them I don't even know the names of. I can't remember my childhood, from when I was born to when I was 8-9 I can't remember anything. However, when I hear the songs I can remember some memories from that time. Macy knows all of this. I decided to make the playlist collaborative so other people could add the music they loved as well. One day, I was listening to the playlist and a song made by a Dream SMP member came on. I skipped it, then another one came on, then another, and another. I checked the playlist and every single song had been deleted and replaced by Macy with a song either made by a Dream SMP member or about one. I was livid.The next day at school I confronted her and asked her why she did it. She had a smile and said that I loved the music so she thought she'd add it. I yelled at her why she had deleted every single song off of it. She said it wasn't that big of a deal and I could just re-add the songs, I explained to her that I didn't even know half the song names and had to wait years to find them, I also said that those were one of the only ways I could remember my childhood. She said it was just a joke and wasn't that deep.Some of my friends are taking her side and are saying that I'm taking it too far and need to learn how to take a joke. Most of my friends have my side because they know what happened in my childhood which includes some pretty traumatic things I won't disclose on here. We haven't talked since.I have been feeling a bit guilty and think I might've taken things a bit too far by snapping at her, so AITA?",AITA for leaving a friend of 11 years over a Spotify playlist?,NTA -1112gde,"Throwaway. So I (26 nonbinary) have been struggling to help my parents understand why I don't like celebrating my birthday anymore. I used to enjoy my birthday as a kid. Throwing parties, having friends around, all nine yards. Then I had a couple bad experiences in high school that kind of soured my liking for it. For me, I get a lot of anxiety from being in the proverbial spotlight and receiving gifts (I feel like I need to repay the gifter, but also the anxiety of someone guessing what I want and having to pretend to like it). All I've wanted since 2015 is a normal day where my birthday is just not acknowledged, because I feel like there's more important things to recognize (like having my first, first author manuscript finally published, which barely got a ""hey that's neat"" from my parents). To me, I feel like people only see me on this one day and not throughout the rest of the year.So that's my take. On my 18th (2015), I got overwhelmed by the attention I was getting and spent the afternoon isolating in my room. My mother asked me if I was harming myself and when I said no (a lie, but for unrelated reasons) she said ""good because that would mean I have failed as a parent."" This felt really insensitive to me, and it sets the stage for the actual incident.I tried explaining what I mentioned in the first paragraph to my mother back around 2018 and she got real defensive. All I told her was that I wanted a normal day and asked her to treat it like any other day. I even tried to phrase it as ""this is my birthday wish"" so she'd respect it. I was very wrong. Day of, she wishes me a happy birthday, I grudgingly said thanks (probably a bad idea in hindsight), she asks if I'm mad, I remind her of my simple request, and she basically yells at me. She went off on a rant about how she thinks I didn't want to be born and mentioned that she and my dad ""wanted to have me."" She basically made it all about her. She even threw my using different pronouns into it, saying it's a disservice to her and my dad that I refuse to help them use my pronouns (which is a lie, they get defensive about being corrected, too).So every year since, she has sent me a happy birthday text, and because I don't like confrontation I'll usually respond with something very brief (at minimum a thumbs up emoji, at max a ""thanks""), but I also know that this reinforces her belief that she's doing the right thing.This year, I want to try something different. I want to respond to her happy birthday text with ""happy birthing day."" It will inevitably spark a conversation (read: an argument) but she's so hellbent on making the day about her giving birth to me and I'm sick of not being respected by her. Is it wrong to not want to celebrate my birthday, even if it's my 8 year-long birthday wish? WIBTA for wishing her a happy birthing day?",WIBTA for wishing my mother a happy birthing day?,ESH -110o37t,"I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and at some point we had a discussion about phones and agreed that we have nothing to hide and are allowed to use each others phones. A few days ago, we were at a friend's house and one of my friends, Alex, saw my boyfriend grab my phone and watch tik toks on it. She took me aside and asked why he seems to be able to open my phone. I told her about our agreement and she got very angry. She said this is such an invasion of privacy because he can just go through her chats and photos. I assured her that he doesn't go through her chats and the pictures are not a problem.She insisted that it doesn't matter what I believe he does or doesn't do with my phone, she doesn't trust him like I do and she doesn't want him seeing any of what she tells me through chat or any pics like bikini or goofy pics she send me. I told her to chill and assured her that what matters is I trust him and he wouldn't waste his time looking through photos for her or see what she chats about anyway.She walked away from me and went back to sit with the rest of the group and refused to look at me the whole time. The next day I was contacted by to other friends who were also upset that I let my boyfriend go through my phone. One friend said I should've told everyone when I made this agreement with him which I find weird because he is no stranger and I trust him more than anyone. Those three are still upset and other friends who were told by Alex seemed to not care.I wouldn't care if any of them let a serious partner who I liked have access to our chats and photos, but clearly they really do. AITA for allowing my bf to use my phone?",AITA for allowing my boyfriend to use my phone?,NTA -110yfb1,"Everyone involved is mid-late 20s. Fake names.BG: My bff, Taylor, dated my older brother (Marlo), which is how we met. They were together for 6 years, I didn’t meet her officially until their last year of the relationship due to them living out of state. They broke up and we remained friends and became even closer. We’ve traveled together, partied together, and grieved together. The other girl in the situation, Julie, had been a casual friend of mine who I’d met through my guy bff. We’d all hang out at my place sometimes and play games and drink.Recently it’d come out that Julie had been seeing Taylor’s ex, Marlo, and no one had known. To the public it was seen as a simple friendship. Taylor still had a situation-ship going on with Marlo and they would still do things together and be intimate. This was public knowledge, yet Julie and Marlo were having a relationship at the same time. I had no idea of Julie and Marlo’s relationship. One day, Julie had come to me and asked, simply, if Taylor lives near us, and if they were still hanging out. I answered honestly because again, this was public knowledge. Julie then goes on to explain how Marlo and her had been in a full blown relationship for the last 6 or so months and he’s cheating on her.I let Taylor know what I’ve been told and basically everything blows up. Marlo got mad at me for telling Taylor. (He later apologized for putting the blame on me) Taylor and Julie had gotten together to confront Marlo. That day, Julie and I had already made plans to hang out, and Taylor had already known of this. She was actually invited and accepted. After the big confrontation (I was asleep and was not in attendance) there was an issue of people blocking each other.Now, I’m not the type of friend who completely forsakes one friend for another. Taylor knows this because we’ve already talked about this concerning other friends I have. During the day, Taylor lets me know that I’ve hurt her because basically I’m friends with Julie, and she would never be friends with someone who’d done one of her friends wrong. She doesn’t understand how I can continue Julie and I’s friendship, when she now has a history with Marlo. (Side note: Taylor and Marlo have decided to try again) Taylor and Julie were not friends, and had no prior interactions. Julie knew of Taylor but was under the impression they were not together whatsoever.I still hung out with Julie that night, post confrontation, along with my guy bff. I tried to speak with Taylor about this again the next day and she’s basically saying it makes her feel a type of way but since we’re different people she wants to not talk about it. The way she said it made it seem like she didn’t like that we hung out and that I should’ve been with her instead considering the situation. These were pre-made plans, and quite frankly, this was there mess that I got put into.",AITA for hanging out with my bff’s ex’s current ex,NTA -1112bju,"A little context, I 15f had a drinking problem for 2 years that almost ended up taking my life. because of this I'd like to say I know a decent amount about addiction. recently I've opened up about my past to my said best friend while we were both pretty stoned, before I get attacked in the comments about smoking weed while I know I have an addictive personality. I know I shouldn't, but we all have our lil guilty pleasures. anyways moving on, she basically just stared at me for a little and we both laughed it off.not even a week later she started bringing white claws in her water bottle and tried convincing me it was hard liquor. I obviously knew it was either a white claw or a truly by the smell, because I don't drink anymore. so, I honestly let it go because it wasn't worth the augment.after that she started to do that every day and flaunt how drunk she was after one sip. I also decided to not say anything because she already was embarrassing herself and I didn't want to make it worse. but she did indeed make it worse by ""confiding"" with my friend group and I the next day about her said addiction.I just started laughing and said ""so ur supposably a drunk 3 weeks into drinking?"" everyone went silent except her, she lost her shit and started fake crying. you could tell it was forced. and basically, went off about how I had no room to comment on her said addiction. I was literally like are you being fr right now? like how did she expect all of us to believe her? she literally picked up her first drink 3 weeks ago and it was literally like 10% alc, it was so clear she wanted a little attention. and I told her that straight up. to sum it up she ended up storming out of the Mcdonalds we were in and called her mom to pick her up.my friends think I'm all an asshole for going about it the wrong way, and I'm starting to feel a little guilty for the way I worded it, even though I knew for sure she was faking it for attention. but i do think my emotions got in the way and I acted too harshly. because it felt like a slap in the face, like i didn't go through absolute hell and back for HER to claim she's somehow a addict. so, I came to reddit because yall always say it was it is and don't hold back. so AITA?",AITA for calling out my best friend for faking being an alcoholic?,YTA -110vu3g,"My (32f) best friend (32m) has been dealing with this guy he likes, who won't reciprocate his feelings, for over a year. They were friends with benefits at first for a while, but then friend started catching feelings and guy wasn't on the same page. So now, friend claims that he wants to distance from this guy, but they're still texting, and even started hanging out again. I've already talked to him many times about this and have given my thoughts and advice. I don't care if he follows it or not - he's an adult, but I'm at the point now that I can't handle listening to the same complaints about this guy anymore. Friend never says anything positive about him - it's always something he did that annoyed him or how he's still conflicted, etc.I've faced a bunch of hardships of my own recently and am coming out of a depressive state. I've had depression for around 20 years. Friend is very well aware of this - we've been friends for 20 years now as well. Setting healthy boundaries is new to both of us. We're both empaths and had difficult parents growing up, so we both struggle with maintaining healthy relationships. So, we've both been talking about practicing setting healthy boundaries, so we're not absorbing everyone else's negativity. I tried to do that with him by saying that I'm sadly not currently in a mental state where I can keep hearing about this situation, while apologizing for coming off selfish and being clear on my intentions of saying this to him. I said I still deeply care for him and welcome him coming to me with problems, but I feel like talking about this guy is no longer productive. Friend replied that he wouldn't do this to me, that I'm not making space for him, and that I don't have his back. This deeply hurt me because I would go bail him out of jail across the ocean for $10K, if he called me for help at 3am, wouldn't even hesitate. I'd help first, ask questions later.The way I see it is that he's addicted to this guy and I don't want to be an enabler.AITA? Was that not the right way to set boundaries? What could have I done better?TLDR: Friend has feelings for guy who doesn't like him back. Been dealing with him for a year. Tried to set boundary about this situation for my mental health. Friend said I don't have his back.",AITA for not being able to handle friend's complaints about the same situation?,NTA -110jy2w,"My dad lives with his girlfriend and her daughter, when I was younger it was only me and dad. He used to be incredibly kind and caring but since he moved in with his girlfriend he shouts at me for no reason and his girlfriend thinks she can boss me around as well as her daughter (who's 5 years older than me) stealing my things and saying 'i thought you'd be okay with it'. It's so frustrating how they all treat me like dirt. I went to Wales with them all and the entire time I was screamed at and pushed around. I tried to help one of the girlfriends daughters with her kids and she said ""I know how to parent my own children thank you."" So selfish and I got sick of it and no longer go to my dad's house and now demand that If he wants to see me he'll come to my place. Am I the asshole?",AITA for refusing to go to my dad's house because of his family?,NTA -1112acf,"Sorry for any errors, English is not my first language.This morning my mom went out to do some work and my dad told me to recieve any call he gets during he is in the shower. Sometime after my mom calls and asks for dad and I say ""he is in the shower, should I give it to him?"" and she says no. Then I hung up and 10 mins later when my dad came I told him about the call. He calls her and apparently there is some issue and they start arguing. He comes to me and says ""couldn't you give me the phone when she called"" and I say she told me not to. I think it was some finance/bank related issue but am not sure as I overheard him fighting over the phone. Later he attends his work call (He was working from home today) and then goes out to help and 10 mins later they both come back and he drops mom home and then goes to resolve the issue. Some time later mom also goes out and they come back an hour later. They have been giving me and each other the silent treatment and I feel bad and honestly think I could've handled that better.AITA?",AITA for not giving the phone to my dad when my mom called?,NTA -110s9v3,"I live in Illinois. My family moved to Arizona.My sister was the last to transplant to Arizona.My dad has dementia and my mom and he had a community and veterans daycare for my dad. All of their doctors were there. One day my mom announced she cut my brother out of the will. BACK STORY: I was a single mom, until I remarried, I lived in a state that some might say have the highest tax rate. I also sent my only child to private school. I remarried when she was 14. I struggled, was a tenured college professor, but by no means could I afford the trips to see them. So I went in the summers and at Christmas. I rented a car and I paid for a hotel. I always paid for meals and took the three cousins out.Flash forward. My dad has dementia. (He's 82) My mom (80) found out that her 6th generation grandfather was buried in Missouri. She told my sister. Let's call my the ""taker"" who lived with mom and Dad on and off for years. She drove my mom and dad across the country to look at real estate that my mom would buy. The ""taker"" has never owned a home, and loves to tell everyone how much money she has. But she has none.Long story short. MY SISTER moved with them to Missouri where my mom gave her a 325k house and is giving her 325k --the house They cut my brother out. Then my sister erased my existence. She lives rent free in a basement apartment and was supposed to help my mom ONLY TO FIND OUT SHE IS NOT. MY MOM WAS DEFINATE FOR DECADES...THE MONEY GET DIVIDED EQUALLY BETWEEN HER CHILDREN.So I told her this is elder abuse. And she said she's perfectly happy. She further said I was threatening her when I offered to remove my self and agreed to wave my rights to anything. As long as my brother and sister split evenly. And that I would charge my sister rent and deduct receipts if she helped them. My mom said I was threatening her and keeps offering me photo albums. I have been clear that by doing this, I feel hurt. All the while she said, I don't care how you feel. You have a family. Disregarding everything and all of my struggles. Rewarding a slacker who did nothing but take.I still said I want nothing. But if she needs help to contact me. In short, I will help her but don't want a relationship. So, aita?",AITA my sister stole her siblings inheritance,NTA -110mwfm,"My (26M) girlfriend (30F) had her birthday yesterday. I’ve had sniffles for a month now, but this weekend it got bad. I tried to soldier through and got out with her family for lunch and then her friends for drinks. She said we would go home at 6:30, but we were at a bar until 9. Her and her friends were talking and I left the bar briefly to get some air outside. My girlfriend followed me out and asked if I was okay. I said that I needed to go home because it felt like I was going to pass out. She said fine and I left. I threw up on the walk home and she walked home about 15 minutes later. She said she was mad at me for not walking her home when she was drunk and I said I felt that she was a bit awful for not walking with me when I said I was about to pass out. She said I’ve been sick for a month and basically tried to blame it on me not taking the right medicines. I said I just needed to get out because I felt like I may have gotten sick if I stayed in a crowded bar any longer. AITA?",AITA for not walking my girlfriend home last night?,NTA -110s5k9,"Backstory: my girlfriend (19f) and I (22m) currently live at my parents' house. This is not an ideal situation for a number of reasons, but unfortunately there's nothing affordable for us at the moment (we live in Canada where inflation has driven the cost of living and housing up by a staggering degree). If it were my choice, we would not be living here, and I have made that abundantly clear to my parents.By and large, my parents have a penchant for being incredibly narcissistic, but more or less we tend to get along. Right now, I pay rent for myself, car insurance, food, gas for my mum's car (which I drive around), I occasionally pay for maintenance when the vehicle needs to go in, I pay for half of the internet bill, et al... i.e, I am making my keep. I work from home full-time for a large company. I do daily chores around the house and keep things clean and tidy. My girlfriend is in much the same situation, save for that she's in college right now and can't work (but she's paying rent with the remaining money from her student loan).Today I was doing laundry, cleaning our room, and playing Oblivion between loads. We had a large load of towels that didn't dry correctly the first time so I put it in to dry again and asked my mum if she could just give me a shout to let me know when it had finished. I went downstairs to continue playing Oblivion. For a while I heard nothing and didn't think anything of it, and admittedly I wasn't keeping track of the time.Then I hear her scream my name from the main floor, so I go upstairs to see what the matter is-- and she's pulling my laundry out of the dryer and screaming about how she texted me that it was done, that she had shit to do and I should've come up the moment she texted me... except for the fact that she never texted me, never called, never so much as opened the door or said anything. Just supposedly texted me, once. Didn't even specify when she sent it.So, obviously flabbergasted and irritated, I took my laundry downstairs and sat down... and the moment I sat down, this text that she supposedly sent earlier conveniently arrives on my phone. I go upstairs to show her that it had literally just arrived, and at the top of her lungs, she screamed in reply: ""I DONT GIVE A FUCK!"" and proceeds to berate me over the way I supposedly treat her, how I can't be bothered to do anything around the house, and how I speak to her and my father, et cetera. Incredibly upset by that whole experience I immediately went downstairs, locked the door, and am not leaving the basement for the remainder of the evening.I really don't know what I did wrong here, other than maybe not keeping on top of the clock... so Reddit, AITA?",AITA for not immediately retrieving my clean laundry?,ESH -11123kl," So, I ordered my usual at subway, a turkey and ham sub on wheat. I've gotten that sub from that location before and it's never been a problem. I add all my veggies, get all my spices and it's looking good. I got to the register and added a drink, the price seemed funky, so I asked to remove the drink thinking they were charging a lot for it. It still was higher than I expected so I asked how much the sub was. They said it was the regular price plus $3 for the ham. I said I ordered a ham and turkey, not a turkey plus the ham. The person at the register insisted that I ordered a turkey + ham and because of that I was given ""the full meat"", so that's where the extra three dollars came from. I paid and went out to my car and fretted a bit about it before deciding to just go ask for my stupid $3 back. I came back and asked for the extra three dollars back, I didn't order extra anything and the sub is on the menu. I usually never question stuff like that and I feel kinda dumb about it now, but I tried to be respectful about it while still being assertive. The guy gave me the money and told me to have a better day. AITA for asking subway for a partial refund after they overcharged me?TLDR: Ordered a turkey and ham sub, and they insisted that the ham was +$3, A turkey and ham sub is a menu item, I didn't ask for anything extra.",AITA for asking subway for a partial refund after they overcharged me?,NTA -110ohdq,"Hello, as you guys probably know today is the day the Super Bowl is being played, and my dad wants to watch it. i, on the other hand, have a test to take today for one of my law classes and need to be able to focus. this issue comes from my cat. my cat is about 10 months old and recently had an issue with peeing in the carpet downstairs in our house, and because of that she had been locked in my room with me. i’m mostly fine with this, but she is still a kitten and has a lot of energy. she’s super sweet but is prone to tearing things up when she has the zoomies. all of this i’ve learned to deal with over the past month of having her locked in here with me, but one thing that is almost impossible to do with her in here is work. my schoolwork cannot be done when she is in the room with me, but when i leave she goes nuts and scratched up doors, curtains etc, because she has separation anxiety. normally i can fight through all of this but today i have an online midterm that i NEED to take. it’ll only take about an hour, but i can’t do it with her locked in here with me. i would love to go do it somewhere else, but my dad yells at me when she tears up my carpet or door which she always does when i leave. it’s to the point that i try to spend as much time as i can in my room to make sure she isn’t tearing things up. now, most nights my dad will let her out to go play for a bit, then bring her right back after maybe 20 minutes, but i suggested that since he and my stepmom will be downstairs all evening, we could just roll up any rugs (she has only ever had an issue with peeing on carpet downstairs, never on the wood floors) and let her out for a bit while i take my test and do any other homework i need to get done. i was immediately shut down and told that the cat is my responsibility, which i agree, she is but i need help, and was berated being told that this is not even half as bad as having a toddler, how will i ever handle being a parent if i can’t handle my cat? he basically told me that it wasn’t his problem and that i was being selfish even asking him to watch her for any amount of time during the super bowl. i know it’s an important game, but i didn’t think my request was that outlandish? but after we argued i’m starting to feel like maybe i am being selfish, so aita?edit for clarification: i have had this cat since she was five months old. when i got her i lived alone, in an apartment but due to some family things i had to come home. when i adopted her, she had no known issues, or at least none her foster mom told me of. my cat is on a behavioral program meant to help her, but it takes time to fix these things. i didn’t argue with my dad about him watching her, but more about the fact that he called me irresponsible and selfish for asking for help.",AITA for asking my dad to watch my cat?,YTA -110rzew,"My sister and I have had an on again off again relationship. She’s 13 years older than me. She was running from an abusive household.I was 6, and then 15 when she left. She had good reasons to cut off communication with our mother. But she also cut off contact with me.She came back when I was 18, and pregnant with her second. She told me I would be godmother.I thought about it and decided it didn’t sit well with me. I’m agnostic, but I was raised Catholic and went to Catholic school. My sister wanted me to pretend to be religious, because if I passed up being godmother I’d regret it later. Besides, she thought one day I would grow up and turn back to religion. I went through with it and it made me very uncomfortable.During my nephews first communion, my sister scheduled it in my birthday. Our mother had just stolen my identity. I didn’t think I could be in the same room with her without having a panic attack. I told my sister this, and she forced me to come.I had a panic attack, and they left me alone in the bathroom. I went home.My nephew is 16 and my sister holds it over my head to this day. Her newest threat is to have me removed as god mother. AITA for not wanting to be his godmother and just his aunt?",AITA for not wanting to be godmother?,NTA -110oc8l,"For the past two years a friend of mine has been in a toxic on-off friendship. Every time the friendship ended, he told me how bad the friendship made him feel and how he would be better off without it. However, he always contacted this person again, only to vent about it 2 weeks later.I told him every time that he should stop having contact with this person, to which he also agreed.Now when he contacted this person this time again, I told him that I would not help him this time and he should no longer vent to me about this specific problem, because it started to drain my own mental health as I am constantly worrying about him.Since then he no longer talks to me.AITA?",AITA for telling a friend to not vent to me anymore?,NTA -110nbc6,"I (16F) am a server at a local restaurant. We're fully booked for valentines day so I offered to help out as long as im avaliable so I told my manager I'd text them to tell them if I was.I told her that I wouldn't be able to unless she picks me up from my grandma's house as my parents had work and places to be, she offered to give me a lift home or pick me up from my house incase. However, I didn't realise I had coursework to do for Wednesday and just had to tell them that I could only make it if i started at 7pm and they only wanted me until 9pm anyway so I just had to cancel on them unless the time is okay.Now I feel really bad and I'm kind of scared that my colleagues are mad at me for saying this but there isn't much I could do. AITA?",AITA for saying I could work on a day then realising I couldn't?,YTA -1111uzi,"Throw away account so people don't recognize me.So my (17m) mom (60f) was cleaning last night and used CLR to get the grease off of the kettle. She told me and I proceeded to put the kettle down as I didn't want to ingest industrial cleaner. I got angry because I really want tea and I told her that you shouldn't use industrial cleaners on things that are around or contain food. She told me that she did the same thing five days ago and I didn't say anything. I told her that I hadn't had tea in at least two weeks. Then she asked how else she was supposed to clean it and I said, ""if you can't clean it with dish soap then get a new one, it's a five dollar kettle"". Then, she got mad and started calling me ""massa"" (we're black) to get on me about 'ordering her around' all the time. She did ask me to clean some dishes I used earlier and I had forgotten, she decided to wash them herself so she was already mad about that. That's reasonable. I just don't want to drink out of a kettle that had rust remover used on it but, am I the asshole here?",AITA for telling my mom not to use CLR on the tea kettle,YTA -110xqgx,"I (40m) have been having regular arguments with my SO (30f) regarding communication. I encourage my partner to have friendships outside of our relationship, but my partner constantly and consistently fails to communicate their plans, specifically they will disappear on Friday, Saturday & Sunday and when I express that this hurts my feelings it’s met with a confrontation. My partner has never apologized for these bouts of non-communication and just says “you could’ve sent me a text too”. I’ve asked for a scheduled time to touch base and if I’m not the one initiating communication, it doesn’t happen. I’m not perfect and by no means claim to be, but I try and approach the conversation in a kind and constructive way. Am I the asshole for wanting to be queued in to what my partner is doing?",AITA for wanting my partner to communicate their plans?,NTA -110v6q7,"Me and my brother(not blood relatives but close to relatives) decided to get matching tattoos but before we couldn’t do and decided that was best to get it separately but now he is upset at me for a fact that got it without him him, however I’m not home cause of my professional work only back home where he is 15 days out of year, AITA?",AITA for getting a tattoo without my brother?,YTA -1111nu5,"AITA for refusing to sell our family car so we can purchase 2 other cars.Our family has 4 of us me (30f) husband (36m) kid1 (7b) kid 2 (3f)3 years ago I was pregnant with our 2nd child, we had agreed and saved $10k to purchase me a 2nd hand car to get our 2 children around and for me to get my red P's with. I went to work, husband went out to buy me the car. I finished work and came home to a BRAND NEW 30k car, husband purchased on finance for me.I wasn't thrilled, I was an anxious driver and wasn't confident within myself to get in and drive a brand new car. So I didn't drive it, hubby did for 2 years.Fast forward to last year our son started primary school. I very quickly realised I needed a licence to get both kids to activities, school, daycare and myself to work in time.I got my p's 1st go and by end of February had my licence. To start husband was annoyed anytime I told him I needed the car.Keep in mind the kids activities Kid 1-Football (winter sport) baseball (summer sport) training-swim lessons-bi weekly birthday parties/playdates-weekend sport games-starts after school tutoring this yearKid 2-ballet-swimming lessons-little kickersWhen I explained the purpose of the car was for me to be able to cart the kids to and from everything they needed. And now that the kids are in so many activities I actually needed to utilise the car.Through the last year we've made it work, I drive him to the station everyday at 5.30am for work and pick him up every afternoon. (He works right near the station and it's actually faster for him to catch a train than drive in the horrid city traffic each day)4 weeks ago he came to me asking to sell the car, he wants a car of his own now. He want to sell mine, pay the remaining 9k off and finance 2 more cars. He also can't guarantee we won't be without a car for any period between selling and re buying. I literally can not get to work and the kids to all their activities without a car.He's sick of relying on me and is tired of being the one who pays for a car he doesn't drive.I may be an AH because I blew up, I told him he HAD to pay the car payments because I couldn't afford them, I didn't agree to purchase a brand new car. He also may pay the car repayments but I pay rego, insurance, petrol, servicing and repairs required.I told him I don't want to and I will not sell my car to appease his manhood!We also have no real use for a 2nd car, driving to work takes him and extra 20-30 minutes communte, the car than sits in a car park for 8-10 hours a day.He's been very short with me and has had a work friend picking him up the last week each morning and getting a bus from the station in the afternoon.So AITA for refusing to sell a car husband is paying for fortnightly so we can buy 2 cars?",AITA for refusing to sell a car husband is paying for fortnightly so we can buy 2 cars?,NTA -110r62b,I have this friend that I go to school with and he commonly asks for me to give answers and that’s one of the only reasons we kinda text like we talk in person or while gaming but he commonly ask for answers since the start of school and it gets really annoying but the other thing is he did a soild for me that saved me from heavy stuff that would effect my status but when he asks so much cuz he doesn’t wanna put effort in but I feel as if I say something they would be like “rmbr what I did for u”,AITA for not wanting to share answers,NTA -1111gl2,"I 37 F am a single mum with no help from kids father, I work a casual job and have control of what shifts I do, so I can’t work around the kids. My work hours aren’t family friendly though and I do need help from my mom when I’m working. Toward the end of last year my mom and I discussed what days I would pick up shifts, which we agreed to. I have an upcoming shift on one of the days we agreed to, my mom booked a facial on this day and told me today, I said I have work that day and she said well you will just have to cancel it, when I reminded her it was one of our agreed upon days she acted like that conversation never existed. She said I am not to pick up shifts on said day anymore, there are other days she does not want me to work as well, which leaves me with very little availability as I have to work around my childrens activities. She made a comment that she had to be a mom when I was younger, but she never had work for as my dad worked and she was a stay at home mom. I have to be a mom and work to provide for my kids, she is now sulking because I said I can’t just cancel my shift, AITA? Edit: I forgot to add, my children are school aged, so really it’s only droping them off to school. I’m home in time to pick them up",AITA for not cancelling my shift,NTA -110sp4f,"Hello Reddit, forgive the format I’m typing this on my phone. So the last few days my mother has, at the last minute, asked me for help. While yes I could have gone yesterday, but I had promised my best friend cheesecakes for her mom’s birthday dessert (yes I offered the same as a valentines dessert to mine). My mother and aunt are pissed because today yet again, I said no since she hadn’t gotten back to me before I was already at my friend’s place. I also said no because I had a tens unit on my shoulder, as a last ditch effort after over a month of pain (going to the doctor later). My mother’s response to my pain was that I needed psychological help (while true it has nothing to do with my shoulder) and blamed it me not doing anything (how does that work?). I even told her I could help Monday-Wednesday since I start my new job on Thursday. My mothers does this all the time, she fusses and fusses about being old, needing help, needing to clean, and how she has a lot going on. Sure, this is mostly true, the problem I have isn’t her asking for help. My problem is her asking me last minute, and often I’ve made some sort of plans or am working on something at that moment. So AITA for once again telling my mother I’m not helping her today. Added: I’ve added our conversations, I tend to forget I’ve looked at texts since I’m not normally on that app. I’m also high functioning so my priorities can be screwed up.",AITA For Not Helping My Mother,INFO -110pkvh,"my wedding is in a couple of days, I just got into a big argument with my fiance about limits and how his parents are getting into our business more often than I would like to.one of those issues was how his aunts, mother, and mother's friend wants to come to congratulate us the next day after the wedding, It's a tradition here in Egypt, so no one asked me if I was okay with it and expected me to go with it.The problem is, I don't want to meet strangers, on the very first day of our life together. but originally I want to force my limits and personal space on the family if I'm not comfortable with something or don't want something, they should respect it. My fiance is telling me that it's a simple sitting, it won't affect us but it will affect his relationship with his family and put tension on it. I expressed to him that although it's a simple situation, I think it's very important and will affect how he handles situations with his family in the future.Am I overreacting? or is it important to establish boundaries now before getting married?","AITA for not wanting my husband's family to come to congratulate our wedding, the next day?",YTA -110um1e,"So there's allot of moving gears here but I'll try to get all the important stuff laid out. So there's myself (32M) my friend Jane (29F) and her BF, Joe (30M).Backstory: I'm polyamorous and have been for a number of years. I have been friends with Jane for 15+ years and I have been friends with Joe for about 3 years. Jane and Joe have been together for about 2-3 years. 2 years ago we all moved in together (myself, my SO, Jane, Joe, plus 2 more...renting sucks these days). About 6 months ago I told Jane I had a crush on her but I wasn't going to act on it or anything. Jane started asking about being poly. In her relationship she has a very strong emotional connection with Joe but they have a terrible sex life. After a few months she decided she wanted to be poly and she talked to Joe about it.So now you should be pretty caught up. Joe and Jane talked and he can't be poly but she's also not fully happy (about 60% satisfied in her life). She told me that she would like to be poly with me but we would have to make sure Joe is on board as she still has that emotional connection. Since she said she wanted to be poly with me, Joe and Jane have been constantly fighting. They broke up for a few weeks and me and her hit it off. During this time however our 2 roommates decided to move which left us with an unaffordable rent. Myself and my SO found a place pretty easy on the outskirts of town. Joe couldn't move with us as it triples his commute time, Joe ended up living with his parents because he couldn't find an affordable place near work, and Jane came with us.While we were all moving Jane and I went on dates and said we loved each other but as it turns out Jane was still talking with Joe and making plans to go back to monogamy to be with him and she hasn't told him that we have a relationship. In a third turn of events it has come out that he is a manipulator and he has been manipulating her (among others).So now we come to a week ago where she told me we can't do anything together (after my SO and I left her live with us), and I'm wondering now if I should send him our chats (either as myself or anonymously) where we say ""I love you"". Doing so would end their relationship so I'm wondering WIBTA for ending their relationship (my thinking; sucks for the short term but Jane gets to be happy in the long term)?",WIBTA for ending my friends relationship?,YWBTA -110uh8v,"AITA for not defending my mum?a few weeks ago, my mother (39F) got this tiny little dog for me (16F) and my sibling (12NB). the dog has serious abandonment issues. his last owners dumped him off and he was super scared when he first met us. once we warmed up to us though, he was the sweetest little lap dog. he's very quiet, low maintenance, and just wants loves. my mum originally said she loved him. but then, after she brought him home, she said (to me, in private) that she wanted to convince her mum to convince her husband (who does NOT want another dog) to take him. i told her that ""you can't give your kids a dog, then make us responsivle for him, and then take him away because he's ugly"" she said ""its my house, if i don't want a dog, i don't want a dog"" i said that's fair since she's right. but he doesn't need nearly any care. an hour of work a day for 3 days a week. and me and my sibling to the rest on the days were here. my grandma has 2 giant dogs. one is a pure black lab who's about a year old i think. and the other is a giant brown dog who we think is part great dane. this tiny dog would get trampled. hell, im almost 6ft and *I* am trampled. i don't think its good to have that little dog there. and my papa doesn't even want him. we came home from our dads house (we were gone 3 days) and my sibling couldn't find him. they ran around the house and started to cry. i called my mum but she didn't pick up. then i called my aunt (22F) who lives with my grandma and she said ""yeah, he's here. your mum gave him to us."" my sibling started bawling. my mother NEVER told them that she was gonna get rid of the dog. i called my mum. she said ""i told you i didn't want him. he's ugly and i don't wanna take care of him."" i reminded her that you only have to take him out a few times a day, he makes no mess, his bowls are fine, just keep them full. that's a half hour of work on him a day, we have two cats who are more work, and she should have told my sibling she was gonna get rid of him before she did it. my sibling ran in the room and screamed at my mum in tears. they called her a jerk. they loved and had already gotten so attached to him. my mum said ""i didn't want him."" and my sibling broke and said ""eff you mum."" and stormed off. my mum said to take their phone and keep them home away from my grandmas house instead of letting my aunt pick them up to spend the night with the puppy like she had offered. i told her i felt that was unfair because my sibling loved that dog and she took him away from them without even saying so. my sibling is devastated. my mum said ""they should know better than to strike that attitude with me."" i said ""i know they said that. and that it was wrong. but i think its understandable. they're distraught, and 12. they should be able to visit their puppy for the night. just sit them down and explain it isn't okay later."" she said i was being a pushover and hung up on me. AITA for not taking her side when it IS her house?",AITA for not defending my mum?,NTA -110x1dk,"(btw so this is ab my dad(46) and my mom(46) and what happened at the grocery store)so my dad was getting milk and then this lady walks up, steps on his shoe and grabs a gallon, basically pushing him out of the way. the she starts apologizing and he says “you should be, you should wait your turn” and then the lady starts cussing him out saying how she was in a rush to get back to her sons birthday party, my mom starts saying to the lady “he’ll get over it” trying to “diffuse the situation” so i’m wondering if my mom is TA for doing that or is my dad for not letting her go without saying anything back to her(i personally think my mom mom shouldn’t have said anything at all but that’s just me)",AITA for talking back to some lady,NTA -110jcac,"A bit of back story, I (25F) have been living in my flat for nearly 3 years. My previous flatmate R (25F) lived with me for 4 years and has moved in with her partner. A neighbour had a friend that needed a place to live, and I offered her the room in the flat when R moved out.L (25F) moved in in June 2022, and since then, I have been stressed and not wanting to go home after work. I have a high stress job (support worker for vulnerable people) and when I come home I want to relax; however, I cannot and I feel like I am coming home from work to complete another 16 hour shift. I come home and have to cook and clean, (L does not like cooking and I have got to a point that I avoid eating - and tell L that I am not hungry - so that I do not have to cook (and clean) for us both. I have tried to put boundaries in as L when I am at work as L will plan her life around my work schedule, but L does not listen to these and messaged me when I am with a work colleague/in a work meeting. She will not only message but will then call several times to ask if I have received her message. I have explained that I can not answer/respond, but she will continue to call even after I decline the call. L has severe anxiety and can find it difficult to go out without someone, and I understand it can be difficult with anxiety, but it is becoming difficult for me. I have been breaking down with stress, as I have not had a place to de-stress from work. I am worried that I am going to snap and argue with L, and I am afraid of upsetting her. I feel that I walk on eggshells in my own home. R has offered for me to move in with her and her partner as she knows how stressed I am as I confide in her often. R understands my work and how it can be emotionally and mentally draining and has often offered her place as an escape for me to relax.I worry that I wbta as I will be imposing on Rs relationship, and I am worried about upsetting L by saying I'm moving out.So, I am wondering, wibta for moving out",WIBTA for moving out of my flat and moving in with a friend?,NTA -110o2qj,"I ain't gonna lie, it seems petty for me to write this on a forum but I'm honestly confused and (maybe) need to vent?So I (27F) went to a friend's house a few days ago. Friend is 20sF. I spoke about her before on here. She's vegan and is big into animal rights and the environment. I personally don't have any problems with this.This time, it's because I rejected her ""hospitality"".I only drink water from my water bottle. Not only that I can easily track my water intake (I've fainted recently from being dehydrated, so I use a water tracker now. I know how much water my water bottle holds and don't have to ask how many ounces are in a cup or glass), but because I also have cats. I get cat hair in my uncovered drinks constantly, and my leash-trained cat loves to be a pain in my ass and either drink water from uncovered cups, plays with the water, or likes to push them off the edge. It's just easier for me to have a water bottle.She has a dog who I absolutely love. The issue is that he's a chow chow. If anyone knows anything about chows, they're double coated dogs who shed a shit ton and their tongues are adorable.Well, anyway, I went to my friend's house, water bottle ready, and chatted. She offered me something to drink, and I said no because - you know, water bottle. She shrugged and played it off. Once I finished it she offered me another drink, and I said I could do it and not to worry about it. I got up and used my water bottle. Again, not a big deal.The third time she asked if I wanted another drink. Since at this point I've had 48 ounces of water, I said sure and asked if she could get me a coke. She poured it into a glass for me and I said thanks, but I told her I'd just pour it into my bottle.She scoffed and said it was weird, I said ""Maybe, but I can always wash it out when I'm ready to switch back."" I left the dog out of it, but the dog was actively getting ""Best Doggo"" pets from me so fur was flying everywhere. I like not having fur in my drinks. So, I put the soda in my water bottle, rinsed out the glass, and put it in the sink.According to her, I disrespected her hospitality by not accepting her giving me any drinks at first, and then basically told her her glasses weren't good enough for me. Considering how environmental health is a huge factor for her, I thought she'd be chill with me using a reusable water bottle for my drinks, but apparently I also made her dirty a glass unnecessarily and that she's going to have to use more water to clean it, which I don't think is necessary. One glass does not mean you have to use more water, but to her it was rude that I turned down her drinks and created unnecessary work.I don't think I'm TA, as this is a fairly normal practice and I wouldn't have taken it to heart. I don't think I was being rude, and besides that I enjoyed my time with her. But maybe I'm missing something?",AITA for not drinking out of a glass?,NTA -110gv5r,"AITA for feeling upset that my husband’s family have done nothing for us since we got married. Due to Covid and financial constraints, we had a small court wedding with hopes to do a big celebration once everything stabilised and we had saved up to accommodate our large families. The night before the ceremony, hubby told me that MIL and SIL mentioned they would not be coming to the ceremony. I expressed my sadness at this to my husband and the next day SIL came with BIL but MIL stayed at home. Afterwards MIL did not call to congratulate us but hubby said it was no big deal and she was very happy and excited. Jump forward to now we got pregnant and had a seemingly great pregnancy until a sudden illness was found and baby spent months in hospital due to being unwell. Again in-laws rarely checked in on us and when consulting with husband on him either. We did not receive any gifts or congratulations once baby was finally cleared to go home. Due to baby’s health not being great we did do a registry and as it is winter we kindly asked that everyone stay away until he was stronger and settled but that those who wanted to come to make sure they don’t have a cold/COVID, wear a mask and wash their hands before touching the baby. In the meantime we shared the registry with SIL and asked her to pass it on to everyone. She said she did yet we never got a thing from anyone on hubby’s side. I shared with my brother and we received a fair amount of gifts and cash from my side. This is on top of my extended family helping with medical bills and accommodation costs as I was hospitalised for a month and stayed in hospital with baby for several months after meaning we had to maintain two homes in separate cities. Baby had been sent to a specialist hospital in another town. Hubby actively talked to SIL when we wanted to get a buggy and SIL offered to pay 1/3 of the final cost and she did. This was after hubby asked and not an offer on her part so I assume had he not asked she would not have done anything despite being given the registry. Now my SIL is pregnant (she was extremely aloof throughout my pregnancy right up till she got pregnant) she calls in regularly now and talks about her pregnancy and the conversation is centred around her. When I try to bring up my daughter she is silent or moves to another subject. The family are throwing a baby shower and her aunt messaged me asking if we want to chip in on buying a nursery set for her. I am taken aback and seriously considering ignoring and not attending as none of them have expressed any kind of interest and support to us. I know I will give in and contribute as I’ve already mentioned what amount (the exact amount she gave us for the buggy) we should give to my husband but I’ll always wonder if I’m being crazy or if this situation is actually a bit unkind.",AITA Causing drama with my in-laws,NTA -111123b,"My (F19) boyfriend (M19) is objectively very attractive and I call him things like “pretty boy,” “stunning,” and “beautiful” from time to time. He’s pretty shy and reserved, so he usually gets flustered and blushes and mutters things like “oh stop,” when I compliment him, but I don’t think he is genuinely upset because he tends to be in a good mood after I compliment him.This afternoon, my mom (F49) came to my apartment to drop off some food, and she overheard me calling my boyfriend beautiful, and she pulled me aside. She said that I should not emasculate my boyfriend, and that I am doing him no favors by calling him “feminine compliments because that is only keeping him in his shell.” I honestly was not trying to “feminize” him, I see those words as gender neutral.I told her that he does not mind, but she said that I am probably making uncomfortable when I say those things. I asked him later in the evening if I make him uncomfortable when I say stuff like that, and he just laughed me off and hugged me and said “are you serious?” (He’s the type to not give direct answers.)I am still concerned though, because my boyfriend is the type to suffer in silence so maybe he is not telling me his true feelings about the situation. Also, this is my first serious relationship and my mom is probably way more wise and experienced than me, so maybe I should listen to her. AITA?",AITA for calling my boyfriend pretty and beautiful?,NTA -110mij7,"My (38M) girlfriend (35F) and I have been dating for almost a year. I met her when she was getting divorced and knew she was struggling but hoped she recover and that we would be great together in no time. The year has been difficult, she has been grieving and I have been in the receiving end of anxiety and anger from the end of her marriage. I have tried to be a supportive partner but it has really strained our relationship, I have not always been able to support her in a loving manner. Things came to a head this weekend when I realized she cannot put aside her anxiety and problems to be there when I need her. I broke up with her and was very angry, distraught. We have been living together for 4 months and I wanted her out of our house as soon as possible (I pay the rent). I have really tried to make our house a home, put her first at all times, but her issues have tarnished our experience and wasted my efforts.She was out of the country visiting family when I broke it off. So, to move things along, I took all her things and put them in the garage. I put her clothes in large contractor bags and everything else in boxes. I informed her she should get her things but would not be allowed back into the house. She pleaded for me to give her time and an opportunity to fix things but I told her I needed space starting now. I feel she has been dishonest since she moved in because she was not ready for a relationship. I want her out as soon as possible and think boxing her things helped her move along.She rushed back from her trip to pick up her things and said I’m an asshole. Am I the asshole?",AITA I threw my girlfriend out and put her stuff in the garage,YTA -110livy,"Okay so I was at a cafe that I often go to, and my sister and I were sitting quite near the bar. I ordered a white hot chocolate, and once my order came I said to my sister “I hope it tastes like white chocolate and not pudding”. My native language isn’t English, but I did use the words “hot chocolate” & “pudding” in English (I tend to mix my native language with English when talking to my sister).As soon as I said that, I hear one of the waiters at the bar making fun of what I said by repeating the words “white chocolate and pudding” multiple times, in a condescending tone. I was super offended and asked my sister to leave without even touching our order. I offered to pay and they said “you don’t have to”, so I replied with “okay, maybe next time don’t make fun at your customers’ expense” and left without paying. I know the order cost a maximum of 5 euros, so it’s not that big of a deal, but I still feel like shit for not paying. Am I the asshole?",AITA for leaving without paying at a cafe?,NTA -1110ivt,"last year, i lost my virginity on the 1st date to this guys who was four years older than me. i was 19, he was at the time 23. i was moving in a week and he was moving in three months. i didn’t expect to have sex with him, we just had chemistry and it happened. i wanted to see him before i left, we made plans, and then he cancelled on me bc it wasn’t good for him apparently since i was moving and then he claimed he had “impulsively decided to move in three weeks instead of three months.” the whole situation got messy, we stopped talking.six weeks later, i am back in nyc and i ran into him while i was heading to the airport to leave. we ended up reconnecting but when we did, he had officially moved. i was just being friendly with him but three months after we had sex and he pushed me away when i wanted more, he confessed to me on a random weekday at 5pm how i was the only person he had sex with in a really long time, and how he was nervous to keep speaking to me bc “he had never clicked with someone that quickly and he couldn’t stop thinking ab having sex with me.” after i told him i felt similarly, he got super dismissive w me, lead me on and was like “i’ll let yk when i’m back” and it became too much for me and too many mixed signals that it ended with us both blocking each other. i miss him though, i don’t know why",AITA: i miss someone who treated me badly which makes me think i did something wrong.,NTA -1110dj0,"So i got in a argument with some of the members of my house today and I’m still angry about it. For context i live with my mom, her girlfriend two younger sisters and a roommate. I worked today from 8:45 am to 6pm there were hardly any dishes in the sink when i left. When i got home the sink was full. My sister had told me it was “my turn” allegedly. I didn’t hear that. (Keep in mind literally everyone else was home today no one else worked) my mom texted me and asked if i was going to do them and i said “no i didn’t eat anything here today I’ve been at work all day today and have to get up early for work tomorrow”. I will say i have been slacking a little with house chores but I’ve been at work every single day and when it’s my day off i do chores. Then she comes in my room talking about how that’s not the point and it’s about contributions and so on and i said i didn’t contribute to the mess and i wasn’t doing it and if she wanted me too I’ll do it tomorrow. The sink was piled up from their Super Bowl party.Keep in mind also my mom works from home and is home 24/7. And i work two jobs outside the home and work 60 hours a week. Our roommate who was home all day today never does dishes, neither does my step mom(both were off today and home).And before people ask yes i Pay rent and contribute financially to other areas of the house. But my mom is still yelling saying it’s not about who dirtied it but i reminded her about her girlfriend and the roommate but she ignored that. So am i the asshole for not doing the dishes?",AITA for not doing dishes,NTA -110plt1,"So, me and my former friend were friends in school and as a nice gesture, I wanted to buy her gifts for graduation. We both agreed to buy gifts for each other as well. I initially asked her what she would like as a gift(s) and she told me to buy whatever I wanted. So, that’s what I proceeded to do. I planned on buying some inexpensive gifts that would cost me no more than $50 and I had planned to pick out 5 things. I had 2 of the gifts delivered to her house, which was a $7 lipgloss and $10 hoop earrings. As she was receiving the gifts through the mail, she would thank me for them and tell me how much she liked them. Well, as I was in the store picking out her third gift (which was a cheap pair of house slippers), I texted her a pic of the slippers to ask her what her shoe size was. She then texts me back and says that I didn’t need to buy it and that I was spending too much money. I assure her that I’m not spending too much money and that I was glad to buy the gift for her. I can’t remember how the rest of the conversation went but I do know that it ended with me not buying the slippers again. Fast forward to one day at school, i casually mention that I’m still in the process of picking out more gifts for her graduation (which was in 2 weeks by the way) and she proceeds to tell me not to buy her anything else with an attitude. I was taken aback by her reaction considering the fact that I had only bought her 2 things and the gifts were really cheap. I respected her wishes and decided not to buy her anything else as I had actually had her other gifts picked out in my Amazon cart (a cute body bath set, bible, and a candle). I was really bummed out that she didn’t want anything else considering that fact that I thought us graduating from school was a big deal and I wanted to buy her something for her achievement. I’d also like to add that I was suppose to be paying her to do my hair for my graduation which would have cost me $280 but ultimately decided not to because I didn’t see how she could accept $280 from me but couldn’t accept less than $20 worth of gifts. Like I mentioned before, we both agreed to buy each other gifts for graduation and I made sure to be very appreciative of the gifts she bought me. She handpicked all of my gifts and bought the same amount of items (5) I had originally planned on buying her. The gifts she bought me cost no more than $30 and they were inexpensive as well. I was more empathetic of the fact that she took her time out to handpick my gifts and put thought into each one and for me to have a similar reaction to her would have been ungrateful and rude. WITA for thinking it wasn’t a good idea to give $280 because of her reaction to me spending less than $20?",AITA for not appreciating my former friend reaction to the gifts I gave her,YTA -110n14m,"I (15f) don’t usually enjoy chocolate or sweet things and often give it to my (17m) brother as all he eats is sweet things.Me and my brother went to my great aunties house (65f) and returned with a huge carrier bag of sweets and chocolates. We go there every Sunday and return with the same bag and I always give the entire contents to my brother as I don’t want to waste it.This Sunday I really wanted this giant mini egg chocolate bar and kindly asked my brother if I could have a square to see if I like it (I am very fussy with sweet things and he is very fussy with savoury). He immediately replies no and my mum (45f) tells me he will give me some when he opens it but he never shares chocolate ever so that is probably not happening. My brother immediately gets defensive and tells me off for getting angry at something he hasn’t done yet and continues to say he hasn’t done anything. I just leave to my room cause I’m tired and can’t be bothered to argue with them.An hr later,my mother comes into my room (I may be TA here) and I’m a bit rude to her for not telling my brother to share with me. She says the bar is huge and I can’t just take all of that from him. I start to ignore her and she calls my brother to bring the bar she takes two rows of it off and goes “happy?”.I then reply saying “I only wanted this” and I take a square of it she then leaves in a huff.When I was younger my brother would wind me up and I would react (yell at him,hit him etc) and I would get yelled at but he got away with it even though he started it. This may be why I don’t like when she stands up for him.So AITA for asking for a piece of chocolate?",AITA for asking for a piece of chocolate?,NTA -1110b7l,"My wife’s parents are over to watch the Super Bowl. We’ve got two TVs streaming the game, one upstairs near the kitchen (smaller TV) and one huge TV in the basement. 7 pm rolls around which marks the bed / bath time for our daughter and this night is my wive’s night to do the routine (we trade off every night). She asks if we can pause the game so she doesn’t miss anything, so I go ahead and pause it on the larger TV where we’re all watching. While she’s doing bedtime, I go to the kitchen to grab a drink and proceed to watch the live game on the other TV knowing that I won’t mind re-watching 30 minutes or so of the game once we unpause downstairs. Her mom joins me upstairs, but her dad purposefully waits downstairs to not watch the live game ahead of my wife. Her Dad hears us react to a play during the game and gets upset once he realizes that were watching the live TV. Her Mom says that she didn’t realize we were pausing downstairs and that she would have waited had she known or had I said anything, suddenly turning this whole thing in to my fault. AITA for watching the live game instead of waiting 30 minutes, even though the game was paused for my wife once she was done?",AITA for watching the Super Bowl live while my wife was putting our kid to bed?,NTA -110pkik,"This family member (54F) keeps saying things that I find very odd and quite frankly, not normal. A couple months ago, she randomly came out with ''why do people cry when they are sad?'' and she seemed genuinely confused. It was like she can't understand or comprehend other people's emotions. That wasn't the only thing she said. She also says things like, ''if I'm not depressed nobody else should be''. She constantly compares her medical condition to unrelated medical conditions and can't seem to grasp the concept that different medical conditions affect people differently. It's like she says things without actually doing any thinking. Whenever she sees an adult crying she gets really angry and tells them to grow up because they are adults. When other family members are around they get really uncomfortable. She can't seem to 'read the room'. She recently came out with some nonsense about how the earthquake was a hoax. I asked her how she would like it if we were involved in something like that and other people said that we were all actors. It's literally like she has no theory of mind at all, almost like she's a robot. She has the most bizarre fixations (such as thinking the sun is fake because whenever she stares at the sun it looks brighter compared to how she remembers it) and can't seem to talk to me anymore without somehow turning the subject into one of her pet obsessions. Whenever I don't agree with her on one of these subjects she starts yelling at me and comes out with things I never actually said to her. I have chronic fatigue syndrome because of mono and when I explained to her it's not nice to call me lazy and I'd prefer if she respected my diagnosis she had a mental breakdown for about 6 hours, kept insulting me and kept trying to force me to apologize.WIBTA for suggesting that she get some kind of mental help? Idk if I'm over reacting here, but my gut instinct says there's something not right with her.",WIBTA for suggesting that my family member sees a psychologist?,NTA -11109g9,"I (16f) was kicked out of my alternative high school for the second time because i was skipping school due to my MDD and sleep issues, and my two options are to go to my local public highschool filled with creepy teachers who one every so 6 months get arrested for being a creep to students, or to get my GED and find a job. My mom is pressuring me to go to school because my life will amount to nothing if i dont finish HS and won't let me get a GED but will let me get emancipated (shes expressed several times that if it were an option in our state she very much would make me) but i dont want to take her advice because shes been unemployed for 20+ years and lives off of social security using me and my (17f) sister as an excuse for having no life as if we hold her back and shes too busy parenting being a single mom (she isn't) and its sort of giving her what she wants, even though its my life and i absolutely do not want to go to that highschool. maybe im ultimately deciding to not go because its what she wants but i dont want to go no matter what her opinion is and i want to decide my future without my mother trying to nag me about taking the easy way out so she can kick me out the moment i turn 18, and i think she won't let me get my GED because she thinks i wont be successful and have a job to find an apartment the moment im an adult so she can boot me out.edit: i plan on getting one or the other, im not going to completely drop out of school for good, that gets me no where",AITA for not wanting to go finish highschool?,NTA -110lwfj,"Hello community,My sister(28) and I (35M) are at odds over a few things, but the following particular thing has got me pondering, who's the asshole? I was without phone service for quite awhile and saw some great ads for T-Mobile service. I ran some numbers and asked my family what they were paying for service. My mother was paying $70-80 a month; my sister, BIL, and nephew were on a plan for $210 a month. I suggested everyone jump on the magenta max plan and with my military discount, the plan would be $140 for 4 lines plus $20 for a connected ipad for the 5yo nephew and whatever services they would like to add. I suggested that I would be willing to open an account if my $35 line of service could be split and paid for amongst the three of them. That comes out to $46.66 a person per line for them. It was a win-win for everyone because they would all be paying less even with covering my line so everyone excitingly agreed. I even loaned my sis money for her family's activation fees cause she was ""strapped"" at the time. T-Mobile even paid off their devices from Verizon to the tune of $700x3Fast forward 3-4 months and all of a sudden my sister is hell-bent on jumping ship to go back to Verizon for reasons unknown, even if I costs her more than what she's paying now. Initially, her claim was that T-Mobile service sucked... I inquired what issues they were having and where service was spotty; I checked the FCC coverage map and T-Mobile and Verizon service overlaps. Pressing further, my sis flips and reveals I should be able to pay my own cell bill, even though others pay ALL of her bills. Seriously, she's never held down a job and sits on her ass all day long. I suspect my sis is upset at me for something else or is just bitter I'm not paying my fair ""share""; even though everyone agreed and everyone is saving money. It's hard to take her at her word because she is extremely passive-agressive and will lie to my face and talk shit behind my back. Now I wouldn't really care personally if circumstances changed and they wanted to abandon ship, but I'm gonna get fucked because I'm under a pseudo-contract because I upgraded my phone and the credits are applied over the course of 24 months. This is obviously an oversight on my part. Edit: I pay for my device payments currently just not the line access. I would prefer if my sister just let well enough alone until my device payments are up. She has no consideration as to the situation they are putting me in by leaving. I am trying to be considerate of their circumstances. But it makes no sense to me why she would switch again at a higher rate. It feels like she has used me to get her family's devices paid off and now it's to hell with me. What do y'all think? Am I the asshole for being upset? Do you think would be a fair way to go forward? Let me know if there is anything I can clarify.","AITA for ""creativity financing"" my cell service?",YTA -11107tl,"My friend (f23)and I (f24) made plans to get dressed and hang out at a festival (7 day event)On one of the days, I was exhausted after coming back from work and I have ADHD so I usually get overwhelmed on these festivals. I was also in a low because of my ADHD mood swings. So I texted her to tell her I would not be coming, and apologised. She didn't see this text and called me half an hour later asking me when I'd be ready. I again apologised and told her that I would not be coming. At this point she got mad and started saying things like I made a commitment and she had already washed her hair for this occasion etc.I got a little irritated with her because if I had said that I was sick or stuck at work or something, she wouldn't have tried to make me feel even more guilty. But since it was a mental illness she didn't think it was as serious as I said it was.Later, she told me that because she had made plans with me she canceled on her other friends. And that's why she was feeling more angry about it. I told her that she didn't have to attend all 7 days with me and that she could have told me about the other friend plans so I wouldn't have felt pressured into coming all the days for her. She told me that she almost always has other plans that she cancels on to hang out with me, and then if I cancel on her she's left with no plans. I may be the AH for getting irritated with her being upset about me cancelling AITA?",AITA For cancelling on my friend because I was feeling low?,NTA -110r1wl," I, f16, am in a server with some friends. We had a vent channel in it. Me & a friend, Sarah, were venting about shared trauma we have. After 15 minutes of us talking (we weren't done talking either), another person jumps in. She, Carla, says ""omg sarah we need to hang out"", ignoring the heaviness of our convo. Me & 4 other people say stuff like ""dude, not the time for this"". Her defense: ""its basically a vent bc sarah is like my only source of happiness"".Carla often jumps into conversations with things that aren't related, & I don’t usually mind. But this was a breaking point for me. 2 weeks prior, I had a group project with her & 3 others. We had an idea we really liked, but Carla was super against it (but originally she liked it). She was ranting about ""mob mentality"" & that nobody listens to her & she hates us, all while knowing 2 of us were in the server she said this in. It felt super passive aggressive & multiple other people agreed when we talked about it with them. I have no issue with venting, but don't do it in front of the people you're venting about. I think ranting & venting like that is fine as long as you try & fix the issue afterwards. Sometimes you have to get emotions out first before you can fully handle them.I started messaging a small gc with 9 of us in it. I was ranting about how annoyed I was with Carla. It felt like she was ignoring that I was really going through something & just made it about herself again. I’ve tried talking with her about it before, but this was the worst she had done it.Apparently one of the people in the gc, Daniel, was close with Carla. They called soon after what happened with her crying because she felt she was being antagonized for what she was doing. She was severely spiraling, to a concerning level. Daniel ended up telling Carla that we had a groupchat & we were talking about her in it.Carla went down an even worse spiral. I texted her big brother, Carter, who I was super close to, to check on her & make sure she's ok. About a half hour later, Carter is messaging me angrily, blaming me for everything, it was all my fault & I was awful. He said that I was in a cyberbullying ring & me & my friends were cyberbullying her.I don't know how that came to be, & I don't think it is true? I talked to Daniel about what he said to Carla. He just told her that gc existed & that me & a few others were venting about her in it. He never sent screenshots to her, so everything was by word. I didn't think we had said things that would count as cyberbullying? I mean I could fully be wrong, but I saw it to be on the same line as how she was talking about some of us to others.This was a while ago now, but I saw Carla the other day (one of my friends was talking with one of her friends, so we were like standing kind of close to each other I guess). She won’t even face me. She just hugged one of her friends & buried her face into their shoulder. It's like she's scared of me.Am I the asshole?",AITA for venting turning into cyberbullying,ESH -110qy29,"My partner(M) and I(F) are together but not fully committed to each other. Our major issue is his fear of monogamy and my incapability of being polygamous. We were both aware of that when we met. However, we still want to work it out.Before we met, he was in a relationship with a girl(R) & they saw other people too but according to him, they were not compatible long term (too much fighting, negativity, according to him). Both R & I knew of each other’s existence. Problem was, to me, it seemed that she liked being the major interest in his life and resorted to extreme manipulative behaviors to keep him hooked. R would be angry and loving in turns; he would literally be nervous even while texting her; she would block him one day and tell him she loves him the next; tell him that he's sick and then go out for a romantic walk. All I saw was that he was bending over backwards to keep her happy and calm. So, when she realized that I was becoming important to him and he was thinking long term with me, she indirectly started acting out imo. Opinions that I kept to myself till she slept with M twice. While M wasn't exactly monogamous with me at that time, I had told him getting back with R is the bigger deal breaker.This was a while back and only for context. Since then M has told her there can be no sexual/romantic relationship between them but would like to be friends. But she continued telling M that she wants a relationship with him and often gets angry that he is still seeing me.Presently, she has moved away but there are continuous phone calls and texts between them. She still wants a relationship and has been behaving erratically. I confess I have not always reacted well to her ever since they slept together and because of how he becomes after interacting with her. So now, M refuses to tell me what's going on between them. I have never asked him to stop meeting her or not talk to her. All I asked is for his transparency after the fact, because and we have discussed this, I think she has a huge hold over him that he denies. He countered by saying that I should trust him because he has no intention of a relationship with R but only friendship & she is not even in the same city. He insists that R is not a problem. Yet in the past she has tried her best to break us up albeit unsuccessfully. I told him that I am insecure where she is concerned and it's not an issue about trusting him, but about trusting his judgement about her. He says this topic makes me toxic, and he won't talk about it with me as it is not important. It has been very upsetting for me. He doesn't acknowledge that she is manipulative, they obviously have feelings for each other, and now I feel he is more loyal to her even in his friendship than to me. I never wanted any details, I only wanted to know what was going on. Am I the one who is wrong here? Am I being controlling and should just let it go?",AITA for asking my partner for transparency about his friendship with his ex,NTA -110srj6,"We were a new couple and only been dating a month or two. I’m 28 he’s 34.He never talked about money being important in a partner, he knew I wasn’t exactly rich, he’s not rich either, and he told me his “love languages” were time and affection, over everything….One day out of the blue he gets upset at me because he “had to ask” me to go pick up something from the store for his place -as opposed to yknow, reading his mind . I told him I would go get them but but that it was a bit ridiculous for him to get annoyed at having to simply ask me first. He THEN said that it was really because he felt taken advantage of because I didn’t randomly buy him enough things. He brought up how he had just spent 100 dollars on our last date and that I had not spent as much. He basically said that I took more than I gave…I was really put-off because 1. We MOSTLY went dutch, both of us treated occasionally, and he only spent that much on the one expensive date so far…so I thought everything was normal. 2. I gave in many other non-monetary ways and thought it counted for something but he was upset I hadn’t spent “more than 20 dollars” according to him…He said a lot more but I won’t go into that much detail. The conversation got ugly as he was saying really rude and hurtful things and we ultimately broke up over it all. I’ve never been in this situation before and I really don’t feel like the asshole but I’m open to perspectives??",AITA for not spending as much money as my bf yet??,NTA -110v71u,"Tbh, I’ve already kind of decided I did t do anything wrong but I guess I’d like some non biased validation. I am a F in my mid 30’s. 4 years ago I got divorced and moved back to my hometown. I am very close with my siblings and when I moved back home they were pretty much my only friends. Through my younger brother I made a pretty solid group of friends that for that past 2 years we have pretty much had all our social interactions and gatherings with. The majority of the group is all related to each other in one way or another be sibling, cousin etc. Prior to the past 2 years, I had met them a couple times but not really socialized with them. Fast forward, Recently a man dm’d me on instagram and was flirting with me. I’m not really a person who cares about social media so followers and things don’t matter to me. I have a public page and random people follow me all the time. I have a close friends, but in full transparency, I add everyone to it unless I work with them or their page looks like spam. I’m not someone who posts explicit content in my CF so it’s not huge deal to me who is on there. The only difference between my public story and private is me smoking, which is legal in my state but for reasons, I dont publicly show myself doing it often. This man had added me a few months the prior and we had a lot of mutuals in common including some of my family. I honestly thought it was someone I may have met at a party or family gathering and just didn’t remember so I added them to my cf….. cuz who cares?One of the women in the friend group is my brothers best friend. We have a group chat and when the man messaged me I screen shot it and asked who it was. This is something I’ve done NUMEROUS times in this group and chat. Unfortunately that man ended up being her ex boyfriend. I did not know that at the time. I met him one time when I first moved home in passing when I stopped by my brothers house. I could t possibly have remembered him and her and this man haven’t been together in years. She did t have pictures of him posted up. I flat out, honestly and truly did not know who he was. I did t entertain his messages, I wasn’t interested and when I was informed of who he was I immediately blocked him. For whatever reason though I am being blamed. I was accused of knowing who it was, of trying to be malicious and rub it in her face and I have been completely ostracized and cut off from the entire group and any social gatherings. Now is it a little weird to have people in your CF’s you don’t really know? Sure. I’ll own that L and see how that can look weird. I truly just don’t care about stuff like that enough. I don’t think my content is particularly special. Everyone else though seems to think I’m in the wrong and now I have no friends and for the life of me I can’t figure out any part of this scenario where I deserve to be blamed or cut off.",AITA Because of a DM?,NTA -110n209,"My (30 F) partner (35 M) has this long time friend (30 F). The met online and are friends for longer that we are dating (we're together for 4 years).She's actually a great girl and we bonded quickly. We visited her, and recently she visited us (living in different countries) together with her future husband. I am invited to her wedding not just as a plus one for my partner.Here's my dilemma: recently I found out that back in the day when they were just online friends they exchanged nudes. They weren't anything more than friends but however they exchanged nudes. And I wasn't even aware of this until recently.Considering this, that both my partner and her (she's my friend) avoided to tell me this years ago, I took a step back from everything and honestly, I feel uncomfortable with this hole situation. Also, her future husband doesn't know this as she put it it's not his business. AITA for not wanting to go to the wedding because I feel uncomfortable about the nudes situation (which to. My knowledge was a long time ago)?",AITA for not wanting to go to the wedding of my partner's friend?,YTA -110zbtj,"I (F, 15) have/had a guy friend who we'll call Miles (M, 15). He's a part of my friend group but nobody really likes him because he is quite annoying and judgemental. He once asked my friend why she wasn't wearing any clothes (she was wearing a crop top and sweatpants).I made a TikTok about a month ago saying how I didn't like him. The video was completely private so only people who followed me saw it and the only people who follow me are my friends or people from my school. All I said was that I didn't like him. I am a very strong believer in that you don't have to like everyone. I know people don't like me and I know I don't like a lot of people.One day during lunch, an old friend came up to our table and showed him something. I looked at her computer and she was trying to hide the screen from me. It was the video I made.Here's something I don't understand, he said that she showed him the video when he was at his sport and that he cried in the bathroom for 30 minutes. However, she never mentioned doing the sport he did and my friend who does and goes to the same place as him said he hadn't gone in months. So he probably lied to me about that to make me feel bad.We had an argument about it and I admitted that it was stupid and offered to take it down, he said he didn't care but I took it down anyways. He said that if it wasn't for friends he would be six feet under and other stuff like that. He often talks about his mental illnesses and often uses them as excuses which I never liked but was never in the mood to fight with him. We had a big argument which led to him almost crying, but one of my other friends at the table started crying. We'll call him Mike. Mike (M, 15) said he didn't want us to hurt ourselves physically and was scared. I felt like absolute shit after that.At the end of the day, Miles came up to me and said he forgave me and asked me not to do it again and that it had broken him.I completely took down the video and we're talking to each other like nothing happened but I don't know if I'm the asshole or not. He probably lied to me to make me feel guilty but I made my friend cry. So AITA?",AITA for making my friend(s?) cry?,YTA -110lpiy,"I (20F) have a bestie (20F) . We've known each other for a long time, she's a really nice friend, positive, reliable, we do everything together.The thing is, for the past week she has been talking about going to the mall to buy some shoes she wanted, she didn't mention the exact time or day she'll go, but I assumed It will be on the week-end.The mall is quite far, about 45 min to arrive, and she takes quite a long time to choose stuff, so I knew It would take at least 3 hours .So , here's the deal. This month, I've been assigned quite the workload, with small deadlines so this week has not been the best, nor will the next ones, and I'm pretty busy the week-end also. The thing is, as I've said before, me and her do everthing together, so of course I planned to go with her since I know she really wants my opinion on the shoes.She kind of implied during the week that she'll go saturday evening or sunday morning, but then saturday passed, and sunday morning when I asked her about it, she said she still doesn't know exactly when she'll go. By this time[go.By](https://go.By), I thought that she's gonna postpone it for another week.Cue to sunday at 2p.m, she says she's gonna go at 5p.m, and asks me if I'm going with her. I said no, because I thought that she didn't want to go anymore, and told her that I still had a lot of work to do by monday, and that she should have told me sooner.She seemed a little hurt by the way she responded, but didn't show it too much. After , she called another friend and asked her to go with her, and when she said yes, she was very visibly overjoyed and kept saying how good of a friend she is, how she never says no even if she asks late and that I, on the other hand, didn't want to go.Tbh, I admit that I'm not the most extrovert person, I really dislike going outside and when I do, It's only for the others, not because I enjoy it. Therefore, I have declined some walks before or just going to the cafe or Something.My friend on the other hand really likes going out and hates staying indoors a lot. This time, though, I had wanted to go with her but the timing was not the best.So, AITA ? I feel very bad about the situation since she goes out of her way a lot of time to suit my needs , but I try my best too and today was really not the day. If she had gone the morning, I totally would have went, but the afternoon with my deadline so close was not possible.",AITA for not going to the mall with my friend ?,NTA -110uthz,"I know I was an AH for doing it, so it's more of a question of how much. I live with 2 people, we're all university students. Both are quite younger than me. I'm not thrilled by one roommate's behavior. She brings her friends around a large group of friends to hang out in our tiny living space, and they can be quite loud, sometimes very late at night/early morning. It's OK - they're young kids. However, what irks me that they don't take out the trash, one roommate treats my kitchen stuff poorly and I never even gave her permission to use a lot of it. After me taking out trash, buying a lot of supplies, cleaning their kitchen messes. I despise confrontation and I'm not their mother. I'm not going to tell them what to do they should know how to be respectful roommates by their age (early 20s). Also I'm quite ill emotionally right now (depression) and anxious of telling people off, it upsets me. So my family drops by to use bathroom. The front door is open - another thing they refuse to care about is security - and a bag of plates is outside. One of them is mine. There's a pile of trash by the door. I get pissed and start bashing my roommate and venting my frustrations to my father. I said ""I'm glad she's hardly around you know. They never take out the trash. What a mess.""By time I realized it was a bad idea to vent in the house, it was too late. It would be quite mean to say these things to a person's face, I would never. So my roommate overheard this and wrote me a note. She said she was ""shocked"" to hear what I actually thought of her. Said that she didn't want to live in ""a hostile environment."" Well yes, I certainly feel disrespected in the house. Would that not be an obvious consequence? I was being bitchy and quite stupid, but it was not meant for her ears. I realize the lack of communication is also my fault, but I'm not here to be mother superior and tell my roommates to do their chores. I'm unwell and want to be left to do my work. I vented because confronting people about their behavior can also lead to a hostile reaction, or I simply didn't think they'd listen anyways. How much of an AH was I?","AITA for badmouthing my roommate to my family, without knowing they were there to hear it?",NTA -110upv2,"Two years ago, I built a house in a new neighbourhood with a few architectural controls. The relevant one being that we all pay a deposit when starting construction for landscaping completion. Once each house is complete, the owner has a year (give or take) to complete landscaping of their yard and install fences around their lot to have their deposit returned. As we’ve been here for a couple summers now and we have two dogs, I wanted a fence as soon as possible. It worked out that our one adjoining neighbour wanted to do their side at the same time. We were using the same contractor too, so splitting the cost of our shared fence was a no brainer. It’s also worth noting the fence style is set in the architectural controls, so we had no choice in the look of the fence we built.Our other adjoining neighbour is now building their house and I presume will be completing their landscaping this summer or next. WIBTA if I asked them to pay for half the cost of our shared fence when they complete their landscaping? I’m only considering this because it’s an expectation we all build one and it was a good chunk of money - about $4000 for that shared fence iirc (damn 2021 lumber prices). If the situation was different and I chose to build the fence of my own accord, I wouldn’t expect anything. However, since they would have had to build the fence if we didn’t, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask to share the cost. I’d offer to go the with the lower of the price we paid or a new quote, so they’re not screwed by the timing. My only hesitation is creating an awkward situation with our new neighbours. I’d hate to ruin what could be a good relationship, and I doubt I’d do anything if they objected to it, but it is a lot of money.",WIBTA for asking my neighbour to pay for half our shared fence?,NTA -110rt5k," so in this post i want to know if i'm an asshole for a lot of different things and i'm using google translate to make this post so there could be mistakes and poor choice of words here. First, I am a 27-year-old male, university student at a private college that requires me to pay tuition every month. I got into this college under the influence of my parents and I'm almost finishing it, but I had to fight a lot to advance in this course, in this case a pharmacy course full of chemistry, biology and related legislation. As my course always starts after 6 pm and ends at 10 pm I usually go to college around 5 pm, I go to sleep at 1 or 2 in the morning and I sleep later in the morning, since I'm not a morning person, I usually wake up at 9, 10 or 11 am. During these hours that I am awake, I divide my time studying, watching series or reading books and taking care of the house alone (I live alone in my own house, I only receive help from a maid once a week or once every two weeks depending on the need ) and I provide small unpaid services for my mother's company, basically I fill in a table once or twice a day, sometimes I electronically sign a document, inform about the progress of sales made by the credit card machine, make some payments and transfers, and I get the hang of talking to tech support and other occasional things, plus anything I'm told to do, all little jobs that take little time but help the company in some way. At times my mother sends me some money to survive and pay bills around here, if I were looking for a job I believe I would only get full-time jobs and minimum wage, that is 8 hours of work a day for 5.43 to hour in my country's currency, which is equivalent to +/- 1 dollar per hour depending on the exchange rate. I believe this would ruin my ability to study for exams and with another job I might not be able to help with my parents business (I think), so my first question is: am I an asshole for not getting a job?second question my parents and i live 24 hours away by car and bus from my grandfather and my other relatives on my mother's side, i hardly talk to them both because i don't know what to talk about in the chat groups and why I've already been scolded for saying things that my mother didn't like me to say to relatives. So today she fought with me and my brother for not wanting to go to the carnival in my grandfather's city (which I repeat is a 24-hour trip) to spend time with him and my relatives, and she said that she would only pay for the one-way tickets and back. I don't know what I'm going to do there besides having uncomfortable conversations and eating my relatives' food, I don't even like going to parties and I don't have money to buy anything. so I'm an asshole for not wanting to go visit my grandfather?",AITA for not having a job and not wanting to visit my grandfather?,NAH -110rmsm,"Tag nsfw for pot reference Characters for this story are Op 28 3 kids 2,4,5 Brother (b) 31 For the past decade or so (b) has been bouncing between family members kinda just lounging around doing what he pleases seemingly trying to get his life together but “heavily” struggling trying to get his priorities straight. It started with him living with our other brother long story short he was stealing their rent money and using it on magic cards. They got evicted and he ended up homeless other brother has since cut him out of his life entirely. He wound up living with our parents to try and bounce back but instead prioritized smoking pot (legal in our state) and buying an electric board ($700) and a ps5 (peak price during COVID $800) rather than saving for his future (license or transportation) so once again long story short parents grew tired of him after only a few months and told him he was to find something to do or somewhere to go. Now begins my side he came to visit me back in October when I got discharged from the military to hang out at this point I told him if he wants to try his luck out here on the west coast he’s more than welcome to stay for a short period of time (6 months to a year more if he’s got a plan). It’s been almost 6 months and recently finally got his first job I enjoy smoking pot and told him he can smoke my stuff and just leave me a puff or 2 for bedtime as I don’t smoke when the kids are awake. He ended up finishing my weed and I got pretty upset but I just reminded him of our agreement. Since then I’ve been separating my personal stash for bedtime and give him 75-80% of it to smoke whenever he sees fit. On his way home from work he tripped and broke his phone so his work schedule isn’t readily accessible to him. I’ve allowed him to use my electronics to check his work stuff but as most of my PII is synced through talk my devices I’m real hesitant on handing out my passwords. When I brought up that he can use my computer to print out his schedule he said he’ll just use my iPad that’s when my stomach churned as I didn’t know how to tell him I don’t want him using my stuff as I’m not comfortable with him able to access my bank accounts or even all my personal things through it. He recently got his first paycheck and instead of saving it or putting towards fixing his phone getting his license or getting a car he spent most of it on more pot. Obviously I don’t want to get taken advantage of as I don’t see it it so much as stealing from me but taking potential things from my children so I want to set a deadline and kind of light a fire under his butt to get his stuff together with a sense of urgency. I don’t want him to end up homeless again I just want him to try and get back to a stable point in life and be self sufficient. So WIBTA for reiterating the fact that this setup isn’t permanent after telling him he can try his luck out here?",WIBTA For giving my brother a deadline,NTA -110l4hp,"Carnival in my town is coming in one week, and, as usual, my family will participate with a troupe. This year (and obviously with my family aprovement) two of my friends will participate during the first day. Clarification: In my town, Carnival it's celebrated on two different days. Usually the troupes would use the same costumes as the last year for the first day and present a new costume on the second day.Since they will be using my sister and my mom's costume (which they are both fine with), they won't have to pay for them and just for the makeup.My friends agreed to participate a week apart, in which my family was still planning things about the preparations. When friend ""A"" decided to participate I didn't know she would have to pay 10€ for her makeup, but since I was already informed, I was able to tell ""B"" about she having to pay, which didn't see to bother her. As soon as I found out how much we had to pay, I called ""A"" to tell her and apologized for not telling her before she accepted. I also offered myself to pay for her makeup as an apology, but she said it was not necessary.When ""B"" found out I offered to pay for ""A"" 's makeup, she got mad and asked me why I didn't offer her to pay for hers too. I explained to her that, apart from the fact that I told her she had to pay before she accepted, because ""A"" lives in another town 30 minutes from ours, and I didn't want her to have to assume a large cost, taking into account that she would also have to pay for the gasoline of her car. ""B"" lives less than a 10 minutes walk from me and would not have to use her car at all. Now ""B"" won't talk to either of us, and I don't even know if she plans to go out to the carnival with us. I have asked mutual friends and they say that I did nothing wrong, but I'll still I ask, AITA?Pd: Sorry if something is difficult to understand, grammar is not my forte when it comes to English.",AITA for just paying for one of my friends' makeup?,NTA -110rkue,"BF disses me, then want’s sympathy I F(53), and my BF (M56), have been together for 13 years. The isolation from the pandemic and then his job loss last year have not helped matters. I make enough to cover the bills, and I work remotely, so we’re in a better position than if I had to We often have minor disagreements over housework, and he’s taken to calling my discussions “nagging”, or shutting me down as soon as I ask for help, or try to remind him of a chore I asked him to complete, which he often leaves incomplete.We’ve agreed that because he’s got severe eczema, and can’t dunk his hands in hot water, that I’ll be the dishwasher, and he will put away the dishes. I wash the dishes, clean the counters/stovetop/table, and sweep, and he’ll put away the dishes and take out the trash. He knows that I hate washing dishes. As the oldest girl, in my family, I got stuck with this chore while my brother was supposed to dry, but he’d go off and do his own thing, and my parents never enforced his chore. On holidays, I was also expected to clean the entire kitchen while the rest of the family watched football. I don’t mind doing the dishes, but I’m sick of finding the dishes still in the dish rack, or only partly put away. I’m tired of reminding him of this, and it’s wearing me down. I feel disrespected, and angry, Today, I came into the kitchen and found the same scenario. Dishes only partly put away. A few moments later, after I cleaned the stovetop, put away the dishes, and started to wash the dirty dishes, he came into the kitchen and started to make coffee. I turned to him and asked if he could please remember to put the dishes away, since it makes extra work for me, and he immediately told me to “stop nagging him”, and that he was about to go into a Zoom meeting and needed his headspace.”He’s very good at doing this, because he knows I’ll shut down when I get interrupted. I went back to doing dishes, getting more angry. He came back a few moments later, in tears, and told me a old friend of his who’d struggled with addiction has died (don’t know how), he just found out, and there’s now word yet on how he died. He stood there, crying. I walked away, and went into the bedroom. He followed me in, and said “I NEED you.” I just looked at him and didn’t say anything. He left the apartment. I feel bad, but I also feel numb, and now I feel like a giant asshole for not being the person he needs right now. I love my BF, but this whole thing has been going on for so long, and I don’t know what to do anymore. AITA?Note: I don’t have the money to move, or to pay for a therapist, or for couples counseling.",AITA for not giving BF some sympathy,NTA -110rkeq,"I have a friend since hs and she’s a really kindperson. I know if I called her she would come if she could. Having said that, our friendship has always been me making a disproportionate amount of effort. She doesn’t have many other friends and has always called me her best friend. We are now in our mid 30s. In our twenties it was always me planning things, driving to places, reaching out etc. I had the energy to do this then. She got married young and I heard from her infrequently until I reached out. Every time we got together it was because I reached out and we always end up talking over lunch or dinner because it’s always been so long since we last saw each other. Maybe 1-2 times a year. Never enough to just be in each others lives on a consistent basis. Then her husband cheated and she reached out. Few years now things haven’t really changed. After her divorce, we met again and then I didn’t hear from her for about 8 months. During those 8 months things happened in my life and I was so depressed I couldn’t even make it out of the house most days. At the 8 month mark she wanted to meet and I told her I struggling and not up for it. She then followed up regularly more frequently cause she knew I wasn’t ok and wanted to help. I had no energy to update on why I’ve been depressed the last 8 months. Tbh I was bitter cause for almost a year she never reached out and now wanted to help. My depression lasted a year and a half before we met up again, I didn’t want to live at one point. So we started hanging out once every two months. I’m better now and for Christmas i but her a book for us to read together. We haven’t had a shared experience for a long time, just dinners and lunches so I thought it would be nice. She was excited. Now something about this friend is we will text and she was leave me on read for weeks like even a month. Or even when I text to ask a question, same. I asked her where she was in the book and told her where I was. No response for three weeks, I even sent a text in between. Last night she to ask where I was in the book and I sent a remark saying I didn’t want to get ahead and stopped until I heard back so it’s been weeks several weeks. I told her it might be easier if we just read at our own pace and that I was sorry I should have realized this might be difficult. I did this cause I wanted her to realize 1) she leaves me on read for weeks and 2) I’m not going to tolerate it anymore. I feel like her lack of action makes it hard to sustain a friendship, it always has. We have always lived within 30 mins of each other. AITA for being so petty? I just don’t know if I’m demanding too much.Edit: I picked a book because she has talked about this in the past and she was excited, even asked when we could start.",AITA for pointing out my friend sucks at being a friend?,NAH -110yq7j,"We had a Super Bowl party and there were a few cases of beer out on the patio. My wife told me I had to “secure” them or teenagers walking by might steal them, get drunk, and do something criminal and we’d be liable. Unlikely but possible in litigious USA. I go out and empty them in a cooler and my neighbor shouts out the window “some of us have kids trying to sleep!”. So do I, I’m transferring these drinks ten feet from two sleeping toddlers. He’s 150 feet away from the distribution which lasted as long as two case pours into a cooler. AITA for choosing distribution over minor chance of litigation?",AITA cleaning up noisily?,NTA -110yorc,"(For privacy reasons I’ll be using fake names for my relatives)I (16F) recently got into an argument with my aunt (36F). Context: It all started around 3 weeks ago and my granny and grandads 50th wedding anniversary. I was playing a game with my cousins, Mary (8F), Joanne (11F) and Sabrina (11F), (for context, Mary and Joanne are the daughters of my aunt). I decided to get my brother to come play with us (7M) so he wasn’t left out. After a bit of playing, my brother got upset that he lost and stormed out of the room crying. I went out to comfort him about it, and it worked, but because he was crying his eyes went red. He went to into the kitchen where the adults were. They all of a sudden started bombing my brother with questions, and I told them he was fine and there was just an incident, nothing more. They all got annoyed at me and then started shouting and I started shouting back. It got to. the point where I stormed away and cried myself.The real problem is, me and my aunt got into an argument before she left my grannys house, and it consisted of three things. The first being that she said she uses B’s messy room against her when she’s happy, which I responded by telling her “If Joanne grows up depressed, then that’s your fault, because that is such an A hole move to use a messy room to bring your childs mood down”. The second being the problem with my brother and how I should’ve told them the problem from the start. And the third being the fact that I had no one to talk to in the family due to me being the only teenager. The argument then ended after she screamed in my face about getting bullied for years, which I can’t remember how it was brought into the argument.It’s been 3 weeks like I said, and that aunt, along with another aunt and my grandad refuse to talk to me. So AITA for causing this argument?",AITA for starting an argument with my aunt that resulted in 3 family members refusing to talk to me?,NTA -110kvy6,"my friend (m, 2o) and I (f, 20) started after year of friendship to have ""a thing"" (fwb), we wouldnt do actual sex, but jerk each other off and stuff. One day i asked him if he wants to come over and TALK (which we used to do before). he came over and started to initiate some wierd stuff and said some comments and eventually when we sat on my bed he took my hand and put it on his groin erea. I pulled my hand and he immidetly took it again and put it there again. I pulled my hand back again, and he put in back there again... and the third time i gave up. i felt trapped because I felt like i couldnt just leave my own house. i jerked him off and afterwards he treated me horribly for a few minutes and then left. i couldnt see his face anymore, couldnt come to any social event he was in, i had nightmares for weeks. He dissappeared after that. After two monthes of not talking I confonted him and asked where tf he's been for these 2 monthes. He lamed me for his dissappearence and told me he really didnt notice he hurt me that badly at the time. I hate him. He made me scared of men for weeks, and feel haunted at my own house. I want to report him to the police, even if they do nothing (which is understandable, since I didn't manage to say ""STOP, GTFO OF MY HOUSE"" at the time. AITA for wanting to report him even though he may have not noticed i did NOT want to touch him?",AITA for reporting sexual harrasement?,NTA -110m0cy,"My (step) daughter, 17 this summer, made a 'pen pal' through an 8th grade class assignment a few years ago. His name is Andrew, lives in the UK, and will be 18 this summer. They are close friends but not 'like that' according to her and communicate frequently, video chat often, etc I've met him and talked to him via video chat, he seems nice enough.This summer Andrew is making a trip through the US and they made plans for him to stay with us for a little more than two weeks between him visiting NYC and DC then going home. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal but this summer our family has a packed schedule of vacations and trips. These two weeks do not overlap anything scheduled but make the summer completely packed and they planned this visit to not interfere. He'd have his own bedroom here, etc, I'm not particularly worried about the two of them but instead the inconvenience it would cause.Complication 1: We let her then-boyfriend stay with us for two weeks last summer when his parents took a vacation and this was done with very little discussion.Complication 2: About while ago her mother told her she could have someone stay over 'for a few days', but she meant one of her local girlfriends or someone we knew and only for a weekend or so. There was a mixed message.She's a straight-A student, is very responsible and very mature with a clear head, and I wouldn't even be entertaining this if that weren't the case. I'm just leery about someone I've never even met being here that long. She isn't taking into consideration what he'd be doing when she's at work, and what happens if they don't get along in person, etc. This is likely Andrew's only trip to the US in the foreseeable future and because of timing and expenses, him staying with us is a big factor in him being able to manage this. Her mom has always had a laissez-faire attitude towards teenage/young adult activities and unfortunately made me the final yes/no on this decision. It's not a matter of expense or logistics for us, it's a matter of making an already busy summer busier. In her defense, nothing this summer is specifically for her at this time and this is all she's really asking for. They need an answer in the next week or so in order to get his trip finalized, so WIBTA if I tell her it's a no-go for having him stay with us?",WIBTA for not allowing my daughter's overseas friend to stay with us for two weeks this summer.,NTA -110knpr,"I (45f) have been dating this man (63m) for about a year now, I’m currently going through a toxic/messy divorce where I can’t live at home for long periods of time just because I’ll lose my sanity. I’d be lying if I said this man wasn’t rich (multimillionaire) but that was never important to me because at my age I feel very successful (not involving money) and there’s nothing I really need monetarily. I also have my own son (20m) who lives separately, but who doesn’t like my partner or his son. When I entered this relationship I was very excited to meet his son as family is a priority to me. The issue started when I met his son and he said hello to his dad with a “hello f*cking c*nt” or the usual “old c*nt” when I saw this i was shocked. And it’s gotten worse, now he has started disrespecting me calling me the “ugly woman” and making up stories to make me leave his father. His father never defends me and instead just laughs and thinks it’s normal, in fact he even wants to go through IVF to have a child with me (he keeps begging me for this even though I’ve made it super clear that I don’t want more kids). To give further context, he let his son skip school and planned the son to go to Disneyland with me for the whole day without even asking me when he wasn’t even going to join us. It’s interesting as well, because when the son is just with me he is very nice to me, but when the son is around his father he turns into a huge asshole. When I speak to my partner about this, he thinks it’s no big deal and thinks his son is the perfect kid. What annoys me further is that I make such an effort (at Christmas i bought him a £200 gift, and spent the whole day with him) but my partner didn’t gift anything to my son, I didn’t think this was a big deal until it was my sons birthday and my partner didn’t even text him.",AITA for refusing to deal with my partners son (9m),ESH -110gljm,"Hi everyone,I (33M) recently started dating my boyfriend (35M) 4 months ago and he has a close friend that I've only met now twice. However, from the first interaction there was a ""preachy"" discussion about therapy and how I am not emotionally secure because I DO NOT seek therapy and everyone should do it... blah blah... I explained, I am emotionally sound and never really needed it for anything... (Adding the friend is an alleged therapist) and just loves to force his opinions down your throat. I got really bad vibes from him and I expressed this to my boyfriend but he took it personally and said ""that's how he jokes and lets you in, he's been there for me for really rough times etc...""The second interaction happened yesterday and made a snide comment about my the shoulder of my shirt being wrinkled in front of 3 people including my boyfriend and it just rubbed me the wrong way. I responded with, I do not have to impress anyone nor you and walked away.My boyfriend values his friendship a lot and I don't want to cause any issues, but at the same time, I don't want to put myself in a situation where I'm constantly uncomfortable. I am also starting to believe my boyfriend does not respect my opinion or value my thoughts... My boyfriend knows that I do not like him and recently expressed to me that we will be going to a concert with the ""friend"" AND asked me when I'd like to schedule dinner with him. I said never, not interested and I'm not going to the concert either... I was called an asshole and cold for not giving the friend a third chance but I explicitly said I don't care to engage and want to protect MY peace and not continue to hang with his friend who gives me weird commentary and is highly off-putting. My boyfriend also said I am implicating him in awkward situations because he has to ""pick and choose"" who we have to hang out with... I just don't want to hang out with his prick of a friend.I don't want to cause any further tension but I also don't want to compromise my own comfort because my peace comes first. AITA?",AITA - New Boyfriends Friend is Rude and Offputting,NTA -110n8fe,"I (F) had a friend (M) who was dating someone (F) who left him for another guy.My friend, we will call him L, was dating a girl, we will call her P, and they had been on and off for about a year now. Basically, P was the one who would always leave L.Me and P were pretty good friends because of L, but I was always better friends with L. I had no attraction towards both of them, and I wanted to make it very clear to them I did not, and they understood.Anyways, a few weeks ago P told me that she was having doubts about the whole relationship, once again. She kept telling me how L was “too clingy” and “annoying,” and talked bad about him for about half an hour. She had done this with multiple people before, including L’s two close friends, who told her to break up with him. Later that day after she talked to me about it, she broke up with him.Thats where the story should’ve ended, but it gets worse.P broke up with L on a Friday, so I talked to L all weekend and tried to make him feel better, it was the 3rd time this happened after all. I also comforted him on that Monday, the same day they got back together.Monday comes around, and I find out that she asked 2 different guys to be her valentine. P flat out says she has an attraction towards one of them, who just so happens to be a very close friend of mine, so I confront her about it.She says it was “just a joke” and tried to backpedal and take back everything she said, two hours later she gets back with L.She asked me how I felt about it, so I told her. I called out every flaw in her story, and told her that she had left L for another guy. I called her out when she told me that Friday that she wanted to work on herself and not date for a while. She immediately asked 2 guys to be her valentine and told both of them she liked them.I told L everything I knew, because both guys told me that P had left L for them.I didn’t try to sway L one way, I just told him to do whatever he wanted to do.P found out about this, and decided to use my past mistakes as a way to justify what she did to L. She told me I was no better because I had done something similar. She then proceeded to tell everyone every thing I had trusted her with, when she promised that she wouldn’t tell a soul. She turned all of my friends in the group against me, calling me a asshole for calling her out and spreading lies about what I had said. She made one of them come up to me in person only to say how much of a shitty person I was and how much of a bad friend I was.P basically wanted to make me look worse than her when I found out the real reason she left/ got back together with L.Am I the Asshole?",AITA for not forgiving my friends ex?,ESH -110gl3q,"Me (M23) and my (probably Ex) GF(F21) were together for around 7 months. Since she works as a nurse in ER and I work 12h shifts in a coal mine we don't get to see each other as much as we want but that's okay, we knew that would be a thing from the start. We got used to talking via video call for a few hours a day at least, and it worked fine until the last month. For the last 2 years she was renting a small place in a suburbs but a few months ago she sold her share of her grandparents' apartment in another city and she was obsessed with buying her own place. She asked me what I think about that and I told her that I don't think it's a good idea. First of all, the apartment she was looking to buy was in a different town. Don't get me wrong, we already live 60km apart and it's her new would-be home is only few kilometers further for me, but she would have an extra 10 or so kilometers from her job and with the morning and evening rush, it would take her an extra half an hour to and from her workplace. Second, the apartment is located at the outskirts of the town, in an old building, and would be extremely difficult to sell in a few years if she decides to move again. But the most concerning of all is that the loan she intended to take for it would eat 1/3 of her paycheck for the next 20 years, and her pay will probably barely rise at all. Anyway, she asked for my opinion and I gave it but said that I would support her whatever she chooses. She chose to go for it. Right now, she is in the process of getting her paperwork and loan approved. Since it started, our conversation suffered a lot. We didn't talk via video for 3 weeks and even when I text her, her responses are limited to okay, I don't know, uh-huh etc. For some time I tough it will pass in few days, but as it didn't today I asked her is everything okay between us and she freaked out, calling me selfish, not being there when she needs me, not wanting to talk to her and then turned her internet off. Few hours ago she was back online posting Instagram stories about fake friends but still ignoring my messages. Not gonna lie, I was absent few times she texted me last month but that's because of my job. The rest of the time, I was sharing my experiences, talking about trips we were planing, thinking up the ways I could help her... I have a surgery scheduled for the next month and we barely talked about that cause I didn't want to worry her with my problems and she never mentioned it, like she wasn't interested. So, was I acting selfishly when asking her about the state of our relationship?",AITA for asking my GF why she was ignoring me for last 20 days?,NTA -110otup,"I still don't know if I'm at wrong here or not, so i figured posting here would clear things up for me.I still live at home with my sister S (15), my twin brother B (21) and my mother M (52).Here is the story: My mum has a bf who lives about 2 hours from us. Either she visits him on the weekends or vice versa. This time my S wanted to come with her, but she has a little weekend job delivering newspapers every saturday morning that takes about 3 hours of time. They wanted to leave saturday morning so they asked me and B to help S. They wanted to get it done by Friday night so they can leave as planned, but they forgot to ask at first and asked us the same evening at 8:30 pm. Here begins the problem: i studied all week for an exam on monday and told them a week ago that this Friday is my free day to play games with B. M didn't seem to care and sort of forced us to do it by ignoring us, looking at us kinda mad and saying that she has work to do as well.We ended up doing it and we told S that we aren't mad at her because she's only 15 and forgetting things is normal. We told her we're mad at M for expecting us to do S's job for 3 hours (we weren't much of a help because we don't know the neighbourhood, but we carried all hundreds of newspapers) without receiving a simple thank you.M and S left next day without a single word, M just texted 'we have to talk when I'm back.Now Sunday has come and we talked. M said we show no respect without a reason and told us she could tell us so much more but she doesn't want to. I told her she had many opportunities resolving the issue by helping S herself or leaving a bit later (S did deliver the newspaper at 5 am once so they shouldn't lose much time) and she just chose the most convenient for her. I also said visiting her bf is her free time to have fun and I have nothing to do with it nor should I do this 3h job on a freezing cold friday night while postponing the visit by a few hours would solve the conflict easily. Lastly we told M were grown adults and she givesa shit on our needs or opinion, something she still can't live with. M didn't listen and went away.In my opinion she is guilt tripping me and B for something that is completely her fault and she has no reason to be this mad. This isn't the first time she did this and I'm sort of tired of it. This whole conflict could have been solved by simply helping S herself, postponing her weekend plans or a simple thank you. So, AITA here? (No english speaker here, pls be civil)",AITA for asking for a simple 'thank you' while doing a 3 hour long job that I have nothing to do with?,NTA -110qxei,"My roommate and I recently had a disagreement regarding the free furniture we received from our landlord. The reason for the free furniture was due to a construction delay which resulted in my roommate spending a lot of money on his temporary Airbnb stay. He arrived 2-3 months earlier than I did, leading to increased expenses during his stay at the Airbnb. On the other hand, I was delayed by 2 weeks and also had to spend some money on my Airbnb stay.My roommate later told me that he wanted me to pay for the furniture as he felt he had earned it through his efforts. I agreed to pay half the price of the furniture because he said that I could sell it once my studies were done. The next month, I found out that the landlord had only lent us the furniture for free, instead of giving us ownership.When I confronted my roommate about this, he claimed that he thought the landlord was giving us the furniture instead of just lending it. We decided to speak with the landlord, and she informed us that we would have to return the furniture once our studies were done. I called my roommate out as a liar and asked for my money back. My roommate argued that it wasn't fair as he had earned the furniture and I shouldn't get it for free. The landlord told us to solve the problem ourselves.I told my roommate that if he felt I didn't deserve the furniture, he could take my bedroom furniture, but I wanted him to return my money. He returned my money, and I moved my bed, drawer, and study table to the living room. He also stated that I am not allowed to sit on the couch and barstool that the landlord had lent us.[More details text message between my roommate and I](https://www.reddit.com/user/Furniture_problem2/comments/110r9rd/text_between_my_roommate_and_i/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)",AITA Refusing to pay for the free furniture that my roommate earned from the landlord due to the construction delay.,NTA -110y2ht,"for context, i have 2 friends one is (like me) mexican, Jayden, and one black, Nick (Not real names)We were having fun on g-mod and they were calling me and each other the n-word as usual. JaYden says something about my mom a few times and takes jabs at our own race and calling me the n-word, I wont stop him saying it since he wants to have his head beat it by someone else. Hes annoying and says ""kys your mom shouldn't have had you"" after i got him, and so i would have let this go but he was was just too much for me say ""Shes gone though"". he said ""oh"" and we finished.now I feel guilty and think ""i should tell Nick"".I do so and now here we are but an hour later. He confronts me after Nick tells on me. I'm feeling mixed about what i did so, AITA?",AITA for saying my mothers dead,ESH -110xtah,"New to reddit, throwaway account. I (16F) have a friend. I'll call her V (15F) for short. She has a boyfriend, let's call him P (16M). I'm friends with both of them, but I'm closer with V as we're in the same year with multiple lessons together, and I've befriended her around a few weeks before I become friends with P. Since we're all friends I talk to both of them, but sometimes V gets kind of passive aggressive and tries making me tell her about the conversations I've had with P, asking what he did, what he said, if he did this or that, if he told me this, and so on. She also asks me not to tell him that she asks me these questions. She's his gf so maybe she has the right to know, but I think it might be too invasive?? She's my friend and she specifically asked me to keep it a secret from him, so I think it might be an asshole move for me to tell him about her questions. And it's kind of girl code not to tell him I guess, but I feel really guilty about it. Would I be the asshole if I told P about his gf asking me information about him?Also yes, I do realize this does seem like stupid children's drama haha",WIBTA if I told my friend his gf is asking me questions about him?,YWBTA -110xghv,I'm a (21) F and my husband is a (27) M and we've been married for 2 years. We had a small COVID wedding of 10 people in 2020. We're planning to go to Mexico in December to have a full wedding and reception. Since my family will be paying for it we decided it'd be a good idea to chip in and have a cheaper but relatively nice wedding. The downside is that me and my side of the family decided that Christmas time would be the most convenient time for all parties. (In Mexico most work places and schools only get a 4 day break) while my husband's side is on the lower income side and says that we should do our wedding on our actual anniversary (12/12/2020 btw.) My husband is threatening not to go if I don't convince my family to plan it on our anniversary day to include his family. AITA? Clarification: My grandparents are planning the wedding. We decided that since everyone would be off at Christmas and my workplace gives a 4 day weekend at Christmas that it would be easier on the whole family. ALSO my husband was totally okay until my MIL convinced him that our actual anniversary would be more practical but everyone would have to take vacation and it falls on a Wednesday WHO TF HAS A WEDDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WEEK?,AITA for planning our wedding on a different day than our anniversary?,NTA -110xe1j,"I (24 nb) have an addiction to cleaning my ears with q-tips, I know it's bad and you aren't supposed to. That's not the point of this.Sometimes I'll ask my bf (21m) to grab a q-tip from the bathroom for me, and he will come back with a handful of q-tips that he then throws at me. This infuriates me. I'm the only one who buys them, I already go through them quickly, and when he wastes them like this it irks me. When I don't have access to q-tips for a while (like if I run out in between paychecks) I get physically antsy and annoyed easily because it feels like I can feel gunk in my ears that I have no way to get out.Every time he does this, I tell him I find it annoying and to please stop.Today we were sitting on the couch, I had just ordered us food, and I asked him if he would get me a q-tip. While he was in the bathroom I said ""ONE. PLEASE JUST ONE Q-TIP. I SWEAR IF YOU THROW A HANDFUL OF Q-TIPS ON ME I'LL -"" and then he interrupted me by throwing a handful of q-tips on me and I lost it. I told him I'd told him several times that I hate when he does that and I even told him specifically NOT to do that this time and he still did. I'm still extremely annoyed. He's upset at me, but still thinks it's funny and he's making fun of me (well what if I wanted one huh? *grabs a q-tip off me* ooo look I'm pushing the wax deeper in my ear)Update:He was making sandwiches and asked if I wanted anything. I said I'd take a quesadilla. A few minutes later he threw a hot quesadilla at me. Obviously I should have just gotten my own quesadillaAlso, I put little q-tip staches next to the bed and couch like many suggested, he noticed and immediately said ""why do have like a thousand q-tips here? You know what, whatever, nevermind"" so I guess the q tips are now allowed to leave the bathroom. Much success guys.",AITA for snapping at my boyfriend for how he gets me a q-tip?,YTA -110xdfc,"so for a little context, last year i went to a new school and had to make new friends so i made friends with this group of 4 people. now back to the story, so for awhile they seemed like great people but they would always complain and say bad things about my friend who im gonna call t, so for a while i would just sit there and listen to them because i was scared to say anything, but after a while they started saying really bad things like they should do fruit ninja and thats when i told them to stop saying things like that but they didnt listen and continued to say bad things, now eventually i told t about all the things they said about them, and then t told me they were saying the same things about me but to her, now we told the friends we knew what they said and we got into a big argument, and after a while i gave up on that group of people (they still sent me things about how rude i was and etc.) but eventually, t went back to that group of people altough i told them i was still walking past them and hearing them say bad things about me and them, so AITA for being upset that they went back to a bad group of people?edit: this story is watered down from the real version so that it wont be taken down",AITA for being upset that my freind went back to a bad group of people,NTA -110xc1c,"For context: I been living with my mom since the beginnings of 2022, I'm currently unemployed so I am really invested in house chores and cooking as a way to show my gratitude (besides that is the correct thing to do) towards my mom for bringing food to the table while I find a job.&#x200B;So this Friday I was digging a hole in my mom's frontyard to make a 15,000L water tank( I prolly dug 500-800 liters of dirt that day), and then after that I cleaned the two floors, sorted the house out, and took and picked my little brother from school, I made up some plans to play with my friends late night and then my mother arrived 7PM and told me a friend of hers gifted her 4 big flowerpots with flowers on them, and that she got a friend of her boyfriend to borrow her a truck to pick those big flowerpots, I was quite tired for the week so I told her with a whiny tone that I don't really want to lift some heavy stuff downstairs after such long day, she said that she doesn't have anyone else to help her, so I pretty much don't have any option, I said fine, I really don't want to do this, I am quite tired, but I'm gonna help you anyways, but in return I would like you to keep the kitchen clean just tomorrow please, she flustered and told me she does keep the kitchen clean, I told her: When you cook you leave quite a big trail of disorder and dirtiness and I am following you around to keep it clean. She frowned and agreed and went to her room.&#x200B;I finished washing some dishes and went to her room and I saw her quite upset, I asked what's wrong? - You conditioned me! - Wdym I conditioned you? - You told me that if I don't wash the dishes tomorrow you won't help me! - From my side of the story I never used the word If in first the place, it was more like a favor, were you can say yes or no, I'm gonna help you with the flowers anyways - You don't understand, it is like if told that if you don't do x or y I told you I won't give you food, or help you pay your dance classes, or like If I told you hey I am a whiny tired girl and I'm tired today so I won't pay the internet bill - I think we are talking about different things here, because you are taking to me about submitting, abusing of my power (which btw I don't have power over you) to make you do stuff I want, and I am talking about a favor: something you can say yes or no - You know I have a problem with saying no! - Ok, I see you don't want to keep the kitchen clean, no problem, I will keep it clean tomorrow and help you with the flowerpots anyways, but stop saying I conditioned you, it really upsets me. - I do so much stuff for you and I can't believe you are asking me something in return after all the stuff I do for you, I can't believe you conditioned me - You know? this conversation is very depressing I'mma leave it there because I don't see how can I reason with you.&#x200B;I did her the favor, and I was grumpy the next day so we argued and gave the same arguments yesterday, she has been acting rude/cold, AITA?",AITA for wanting something in return after helping my mother move heavy stuff while I live in her house?,YTA -110x1ev,"I have this friend who was really hung up on a guy who turned out to have a girlfriend, so after a while I told her that maybe instead of waiting for someone to approach her, she should approach a guy she likes. I told her it's fun because I do it all the time and even if the guy never hits me up, I just move onto another crush. She asked me days before what she should say, and I told her my go to. She kept saying she would go up to him and never did to the point where it got annoying, and the day that I wasn’t there, she saw him and decided to go up to him. I genuinely didn’t think she would but maybe I pressured her into feeling the need to? Anyway she went up to him and it didn’t work out, he rejected her. She told me after saying something like, “He said no I’m never doing this again I did it because you kept saying I wouldn’t” or something along the lines of that. So am I the asshole or I guess the bad friend for telling her to approach him? I was the one who thought he was cute and seemed nice, he kind of fit her type and I feel like I set her up even though I didn’t think he would say no. I think she’s prettier than I am so I was actually surprised to hear that he said he wasn’t interested. But I’ve been feeling really guilty because I’d say things like he’s so cute, you guys would be cute together etc. It’s actually been making me kind of sad too, but she isn’t upset with me and our other friend also said she doesn’t think it’s my fault. I just want to hear other people’s opinions because it was a few days ago and I still feel like I stabbed her in the back or something.",AITA for encouraging my friend to talk to a guy?,NAH -110n4yq,"So my buddies and I love to game on the Xbox and last night we were on PUBG. My bud Payton said to give him five minutes so he can go put some icing on the cake he was baking and we would wait for him to start another match. I think alright cool I’ll do a quick mortal kombat game and I’ll def be back in 5 minutes. This really annoyed my bff miggs because I 100% have a horrible reputation of getting stuck on Mortal kombat for a long time and they have to wait for me, but I assured them this time I swore I’d just do one match. He said I was going to make them all wait twenty minutes like I always do.Payton gets back as soon as my match ends, and I start loading back up on PUBG. Even though I am in the process of rejoining, the millisecond miggs sees that payton is back and I am not in their game he starts going on and on about being a prophet because he ‘predicted the future about making them wait forever for my stupid ass’. I was in their lobby, they waited about 30 seconds for me. I said I didn’t appreciate miggs’ tone or what he said and out of spite I wasn’t going to ready up just to make him wait like he didn’t want to. He said I have ten seconds to ready up before he left, and I said go ahead. He counted down from ten then he left. My other two friends who were in our game were innocent bystanders who wanted to play but the vibe was totally off and we didn’t have much fun. I know I definitely have a part to play in this story but AITA for making my friend leave?",AITA for causing my best friend to leave?,NTA -110ws65,"Disclaimer: English is not my first language but I will try my best. Since I remember I (23F) was always friends with two sisters that lived next door (23 and 21 F). With one of them let’s call her Maya (23F) I was always in the same classes in school, we were very good friends but we also shared some mutual friends. Maya never chose me to be her “best friend” I always remember she wanted to sit in class with different girls or if we were going on a school trip she would mostly stick with some other friend of hers. I understood that she can have different friends don’t get me wrong, but she basically noticed me when there was no one else to talk to beside me. In 4th me, Maya and two other girls were being close and friends within our “pack”, however soon after a new girl joined our classes I was pushed aside. In 6th grade (mind you I live just next door) Maya threw a New Year’s party at her house and even though I was not invited, I asked if I could come and she said no because there are already four of them. And let me that hurt. Anyway we still continued to be friends throughout our school years, sometimes being closer with eatch other sometimes more distanced, depended on her phase really. Last September Maya’s sister let’s call her Jess came back from Mallorca with her boyfriend. I always had a good relationship with her sister as well. I myself was in Mallorca so I was asking Jess about different things and how she liked it. Long story short she was rubbing in my face all the time how her dads boyfriend gave them their credit card and what did her boyfriend bought her there and at what fancy restaurants she ate. Jess was always a bit self centered however after she got with her boyfriend that had very rich parents she started to brag about money and be super snobby. I later talked to Maya about that and specify to not share what I was about to say. I went on about how I thought that Jess have changed and that she is being snobby and that she treats her boyfriend like an atm machine. Well you guessed it Maya told all of that Jess and since then I had one big argument with Jess (where she confirmed that her sister told her everything)and we ended being ok but not on speaking terms. As for Maya she NEVER talked or said a word to me after that. Since then I said to myself that I am done always running back to them and trying to make things work when I feel like that’s something not one sided. It really hurts me that Maya never chose to talk to me about that and never felt like she did anything wrong.A month after they moved out and since then I only saw them one visiting their parents. Edit: I never apologized. I wanted to ask if it’s normal that I still think about them? Should I apologize? They were in my life for 23 years and I just think it’s so sad to end it like this. But I also feel like O was treated like crap.",AITA for stopping to apologize?,YTA -110hhb6,"I am a 23F and after a night out on the way home my friend 22M( fake name thomas) told me he kissed my other friend 21F(fake name Julia)So to put context in this situation I have been friends with Thomas for 9 years and I consider him my best friend. I’ve known Julia for 3 years now and I also consider her a very good friend. None of them have met before that night but both of them knew about each other because I constantly talked about them.I’ve been having this flirtationship with Julia now for about 1 year and we’ve only made out a couple of times nothing more. I told Thomas about this because I also wanted advice about how to go on with this bc I didn’t want my friendship with Julia to be affected by whatever we have going as she expressed that she wanted to take things further and I don’t know if I want to take this risk.We also both don’t want to be in a relationship (Julia and I)The night they kissed I was out clubbing with Thomas and other friends and we happened to meet Julia there with some of her friends, we stayed together and had fun, we blended both of the groups and everything was fine. Throughout the night I realised that Julia and Thomas seemed to hit it off pretty good and some flirtation was going on and they exchanged numbers. I thought it was fine at first and it didn’t bother that much I just thought it was a bit weird. Leaving the club me and Thomas went to meet our friends in the car to go home and in the car Thomas starts asking me questions about how would I feel if he did something with Julia. I told him that it would make me feel kinda weird as I did not want to enter this kind of triangle thing with my friends. Then the conversation started to get heated a little bit but still on the funny side as we have been drinking that night. We kept doing this back and forth of him trying to justify himself and me telling him that it is weird and wack to wanting to do more.He then admitted that they kissed and proceeded to say “no tongue tho” as this was going to make things better. Hearing this made me annoyed and I told him that it’s a little bit F up to do this especially because they waited for me to be out of sight and do this knowing it was kinda wrong. I also felt blindsided because during the whole night he kept saying that he would like to be in a relationship with a friend of ours let’s call her Steph bc him and Steph have history and the talk almost everyday and have been talking the whole night so I didn’t expect him to kiss my friend.My other friend Julia still haven’t told me about this and she doesn’t know that I know. I’m trying to be the bigger person and say that’s it’s not that deep( especially since Julia and I haven’t done much) and if he wants to do something with her then it’s fine but I can’t help to be annoyed at both of them and mostly at him. Am I the asshole for being annoyed at this whole situation?Ps: I apologise for any grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language.",AITA for being annoyed at my friends,YTA -110kp9a,"So, me and my partner usually go over his mothers and when I first met her she was all bubbly and happy and I got comfortable and spoke a lot more to her. We used to get along so well. We shared common interests, we tagged each other in posts, shared memories together but in the past 2-3 weeks she’s been ignoring me. Blatantly walking away from me, contradicting everything I say, ignoring when I speak when she hears me. Making me feel so uncomfortable and awkward knowing I suffer with severe anxiety. I can’t have an opinion as she will always favour everyone else. For example I told her once I had a bad anxiety/panic attack day, so did my partner and she literally said to me “yeah but, (partners name), has those episodes and he’s done x y & z, so we have to care for him”. Like I know. I understand, but right now I wasn’t talking about him. I’m not looking for the attention or sympathy but I’m also not talking about him. She always has to one up everything with me and I mean EVERYTHING. It’s not my fault we have things in common. If she’s done something, for example, she decorated her bathroom, I also had some of the same ornaments as she did, but obviously she got different ones, regardless me showing her mine. Hers are probably limited edition from the queen. I get NO recognition from her. If I’ve done something good she will not recognise or acknowledge me. I’ve recently started a new course, told her about it, thought she would be interested, nope. Sidelined. Literally pushed aside. So in the end I gave up saying anything to her. I try make small talk and have a laugh like we used too but she’s SO blunt. So now she ignores me and even goes as far to walk away from me. Now I just stay silent. Unless she addresses me I just ignore her. AITAH for ignoring her now and blanking her? Should I still continue to make an effort for my partners sake or should I give up?",AITAH? - Mother-in-law Problems,NTA -110mbd1,"AITA if I am unable to go to my friend's wedding?Background:Currently living in the Philippines and he is a friend that I have made on the year 2017 but the ""friendship"" that I felt towards him was that not that close because whenever I have problems, he is not there for me. So in a sense, he is my friend, but not that close. Then on the year 2018, he went back to the Japan where his family is currently staying at and we didn't have any communication during those years he was away until last month, where he invited me to his wedding.So last month, he went back here in the Philippones because the wedding was set to be taken here and exactly one month before his wedding date, I was invited and at first I was really excited because the date was on my day-off. I even already prepared my attire that I am going to wear on the occasion. But yesterday, a new schedule for my working shift came and the date of the wedding became conflicted with my new working schedule (I work in the BPO industry as a DevOPS (IT/Computer related job) and my job was more on monitoring, debugging, troubleshooting problems, a programming, and I have a shifting schedule and every quarter of the year, our working shift rotates).So because of the new working schedule, I tried to file for a vacation leave on that date but a problem came because 2 members of our team filed their resignation because they can't handle shifting schedules. My team lead said that if I were to file my leave, our work force would be insufficient on that day.Now, I am considering not to attend the wedding and letting him know that I cant attend because of my work but the problem is, that friend of mine only had limited slot on the reception due to the capacity of the venue, and I was one of the chosen few that gets to attend the reception out of his numerous friends.So, AITA if I don't attend my friend's wedding because of the sudden changes in my schedule at work? FYI: I do feel deep regret that that I can't attend even though we are not that on a close term and I will inform him via a call since I can't meet up with him due to our conflicting schedule.",AITA if I am not attending my friend's wedding due to sudden changes in ky worki schedule?,NAH -110hzjc,"I (man) worked with this colleague (woman) a few years ago. We always had a strictly professional relationship, both of us working from home due to the pandemic and the nature of our jobs. We had a few opportunities to meet in company events or other circumstances outside work. In 3 or 4 of those few extra circumstances, my wife was with me and met this colleague. But something happened between them and my wife doesn't like her.I eventually left that company. Throughout my career, I kept contact with persons that I worked with, especially if they were good professionals. Meaning that every few months I send them a message to check how they are doing, how is the job, etc. Just to keep the contact warm. I kept the same type of professional contact with this ex-work-colleague.Then I received a message from her (last time we exchanged messages was 3 months ago) saying that she left her job and was going to another company. She also said that she would have spare time for a few weeks due to changing jobs. Since I'm going to the office one day this week, I suggested to her that we could meet for lunch.I told my wife that I was going to have this lunch and she didn't like it and started telling me that I should not go meet her.A little more context on my marriage. Wife and I are together for about 15 years and we have a very good relationship. We respect and trust each other and we never monitored or restricted who the other person can see. I think this is the first time we are going through a situation like this. I value how our relationship works and I don't want it to change, but I'm afraid that if I concede to my wife jealousy and call off the lunch meeting, I will open the door for this to happen again in the future in other situations. I'll have to go to the office more times, will she trust that I'm not going to secretly meet someone to have lunch with?AITA for trying to keep this lunch meeting and prove to my wife that she's being irrational?--- *** ---EDIT: Extra context as requested.1st time they met we were in a park with a couple of friends an she dropped off with her boyfriend. The problem was that she and her boyfriend didn't really talk to my wife or the other friends. I thought that was weird, but I also thought it was kind of ok since I was the only person she actually knew in there. Also at this moment in time my wife was still struggling to learn English. So I kind of attributed the lack of conversation to that as well.2nd time was at a party at her house that both wife and I attended. Wife was concerned first because her boyfriend mentioned to me: ""you have been here before, no?"" To which I answered ""yes"". The story is that we had company drinks a few months ago and she invited everyone to go visit her new flat after drinks. I went there with 5 or 6 other colleagues. I honestly forgot to mention this visit to my wife.I didn't really go to the coworker house for drinks. Went there with other coworkers for five/ten minutes because she wanted to show everyone else her new flat. After that I went home. The visit was so irrelevant to me that next day I didn't remember it anymore.Still at the party, wife complained that she told her ""it's nice to finally meet you."" But in fact they met before at the park. Then also complained that she was giving too much attention to me and that she framed me in a picture with her to make it look like she was with me.3rd situation: I posted on Instagram that wife and I were in a play, and she and boyfriend waited us outside because they were having dinner nearby. We all walked together to the train station and that was it.4th situation: my leaving drinks. I don't recall anything weird happening apart from they not talking to each other.",AITA for scheduling a lunch meeting with an ex-work-colleague?,INFO -110o358,"I'm 22m and my friend is about the same age as me.**The situation goes as following:**I want to play a game with my cousin, we're both on a Discord call maybe with a few people. Then first his girlfriend joins the lobby (I'm friends with her), then another friend joins. This is our usual ""group"" for this game, nothing out of the ordinary.Then I hear a call sound, it's the last friend calling all of us in a group chat that he made. I thought to myself ""Oh this is weird, we 99% of the time just use my server"" (the server that my cousin and I are already in. So immediately I'm confused, I don't join the call because I'm in the call with like 2 other people, at least one of which I was trying to screenshare my gameplay because they weren't sure if they wanted to try it.I put out a message asking why the private call and the response I get is essentially ""join or don't"". From this message, I'm upset. I just want to know why he made a new group chat instead of our usual medium. My cousin joins their call (probably because his girlfriend is also in it but who knows), but I stay and wait for an explanation. I don't leave call immediately because I was showing a friend the game (via screenshare) then that's when he finally tells me that one of the people in the call (not the person I was sharing to) has been making them feel uncomfortable. I TOTALLY understand this. I'm a (relatively speaking) very understanding and emotionally intelligent guy and I would have tried to find a solution or accommodate his needs in any way I could.""Why can't he just tell me why?"" I thought. We end up playing an entire round of the game where I was excluded from the call. I was bitter for feeling disrespected and I was still trying to show my other friend the game and by the end of the game my anger was bottled up. To not make this a REALLY long post (as it already is) I'll just say that my argument was ""as a friend I deserve at the bare MINIMUM (if not a full explanation) of a 'I don't feel comfortable talking about it right now' or a ""I'll tell you later'"" and his argument is that he has the right to not provide an explanation. (He doesn't want to explain his trauma, which I was NOT asking for, I just wanted a response in any shape or form). I disagree because friendship is simply a two way street of respect, while I find that he certainly has the right not to give me an explanation, it's an utter lack of respect and trust not to provide me with a reason to not reply let alone an explanation. I've been friends with him for 2+ years and we talk often.**TL;DR**: I (22m) play game with cousin, friends join. One friend makes a group call instead of where we normally talk. I ask for an explanation or reply. My friend says he has the right not to provide one. I disagree, saying that friendship is a two way street of respect and that I deserve the minimum of a message of some sort.AITA for being upset &/or lashing out in this situation?Feel free to comment or PM me if you have any questions at all.",AITA for being upset &/or lashing out in this situation?,ESH -110glt8," For context, I'd like to mention that I(21,F) had a gallbladder removal surgery couple of weeks ago. I used to eat a lot of fast food, and that kinda caused my illness, hence the surgery. I'm pursuing my masters from a very respected university, and I'm good at my studies. Also, whenever I'm home, I make sure to help my mother with all of the chores: cooking, cleaning, etc. I just can't watch her working alone, she's exhausted after working around the house all day. On the other hand, my father(58,M) is a first generation learner. He has struggled a fair share of time, and now has a stable job, we never had to face all of those struggles that he did. We are from the middle class, but never had to sleep hungry or with any financial issues.Now, the problem is, that my father has anger issues. Today, I was watching a coulpe of videos on facebook, my mother was calling me to come outside because it is kind of a rule in my house not to sit alone in a room. I had done all my chores, and I knew that she wasn't calling for chores but just to ""come outside"", so I decided to finish the video and then go. My father, out of nowhere, starter shouting, that I should be respectful towards her, listen to her, etc etc. I told him that I was just coming, and he shouldn't worry about it, but he kept on saying that I'm a spoiled brat, I don't listen, I did what I had to and was ""rewarded"" with the illness, and more things like that are going to happen to me if I keep this attitude. I was listening, and then I just couldn't tolerate anymore so I said that it was between me and my mom, kept on telling him that I did all my chores, and was going to study after a while, but his voice kept rising and the he kept verablly abusing me, I'm this, I'm that, my mother had spoiled me, I'm ungrateful. I just couldn't bear more so I shouted back that once I get a job I'm not gonna allow anyone talk to me like that. I started crying, and the shoutings kept going on and on. My mother then told me how wrong I was to say this to my father. But I just couldn't keep hearing all those things anymore.I think that I might be the asshole, because obvioulsy, he's my father, and has done everything for me. I was really angry with all the cussing and abuse, but he's done a lot, and I think I went a little overboard.AITA?",AITA to talk back to my father?,NTA -110vnov,"My boyfriend (24) and myself are living in this old apartment complex build after WW2, so pretty bad isolation. We’ve been living here for 5 years and while the first has been great, the last 4 were pretty bad. There has been a lot of noise, especially from one direct neighbor. In the first two years we went by a couple of times to debate about the sounds but he said that he does not want to take my feelings into account. I admit that in the first period we complained maybe a little to early (11/12PM), but after a big argument in May 2021 we did not have contact or went by when the music or talking was pretty loud. For me it is too loud when i can hear it trough my earbuds and tv program or music.This night (Sunday to Monday) he is talking again from 7PM and it went on till 2AM when I went by to talk. I was pretty patient and acknowledged his feelings about just talking in his own house, but also tried to explain that I have to work in 5 hours. Still he says that I am to picky on the noice, even though I can hear him trough my earbuds. Am I the asshole?Edit: Looking for a other place but because of housing crisis it is not an option.Edit 2: The talking is very loud, thats why i can herre it trough earbuds",AITA: Neighbors is talking loud Sunday night 2AM,NTA -110kuag,"Me (32M) and my wife(33F) have been together for 6 years. She has two children from a previous marriage and 2 with me. My daughter turned 2yo this past week and we are celebrating today with close family and my wife's best friend and daughter who goes to school with one of our daughters. The two kids from her other marriage decided to live with opposite parents. Boy went with dad, daughter (younger and the one with the friend over) with mom/us. This Christmas was the first time we all got together, partly due to me finally getting over my issue with their dad. We always had separate birthdays and holidays. We are at a point now where we are doing holidays and events together but I assumed my children's birthday was not part of that. Apparently so did my wife since she made the plan for her son to get dropped off at her parents and then get carpooled over to our place. Well, they were late getting to the grandparents and called. I was standing there for part of the convo and mouthed ""have him drop off the kiddo here, I don't want his dad at the party"". Wife froze and didn't say anything, put the phone on mute and we briefly talked while her ex was still talking. Told her I understand holidays but didn't want him here for this. She started getting worked up so I told her to just tell them both to come. Important to note I laid out a boundary a whole ago that we do birthdays for the older kids not in our house because I don't trust him and don't feel comfortable with him in our space so everything we do with him is at a mutual location. Now she's mad at me like I'm the one who messed up the plan or who was late arriving at the car pool. Instead of saying ""could you drop him off here then?"" She just stayed on mute until he hung up.",AITA for not wanting my Wife's ex Husband at my daughter's birthday party?,NTA -110v3fc,"I (18f) have been dating my bf (19m) for two years now. He’s been obsessing over the musician beabadoobee for a while now. When he was saying how pretty she is i was just ignoring it from the beginning because I didnt wanna look insecure and I was just thought its a harmless celebrity crush. But then it got annoying when he would constantly comment on her page how much he wanted her and how he found her sexy. He would even buy her recent cd album and play it constantly. It got to the point where I would constantly compare myself to her. I used to like her music alot and her fashion sense but i cant look at her the same because of him. One day we were in a car and he was saying how he’s mad about how bea got a new boyfriend and he was saying how he didnt deserve her cuz he’s white(were both filipino btw) and i got annoyed and just told him, she wouldnt even look in his direction cuz i just know he’d be too ugly for her, and he got pissed cuz of this and ignored me for the whole day(to be fair he’s not conventionally attractive anyway and i just blurted out something that would hurt him cuz i was annoyed) am i the asshole?",AITA for calling my bf ugly because he keeps obsessing over beabadoobee and posting about how much he wanted her,ESH -110gaoa,"So you might know about the current state of Turkey, huge earthquakes are happening all around the country and so many people have lost their families, houses. The city I'm in is safe but the schools are currently closed all over the country. An old friend of my mother (which was in a different city) lost her home due to the earthquake and my mom welcomed her and her 2 children (f14, m17) in our home. She told me to not to play any games for a while and take care of the kids, saying they must be scared and upset, I agreed with that and tried to empathize.Its been about a week now and I (16f) get along with the kids pretty well. We hang out all day and I'm making sure that they're comfortable.The problem starts here. I'm an extremely shy, introverted person which is why I don't have any friends at school nor online. I've never even talked to any of my classmates before. I just spend most of my time playing video games in my room. Well that took a turn a few days ago. When we were outside, shopping, I ran into a classmate, (16m) we talked about this and that then the topic was suddenly about a video game he recently got into, which happened to be my favorite video game as well. Eventually I got his number and we decided we would play it together sometime. A day later he texted me asking if I had any free time, I explained my situation. I then told him that I'd be free after 12am until 3 am and we agreed to play it then. I know thats a weird time to be awake at but I didn't have any other choice. This was the only time someone offered to do something with me and I didn't want to lose the opportunity to bond with my classmate, maybe even become friends with him. I was excited.We kept playing video games together late at night while I kept the guests company in the day time. Nothing was wrong until my mom caught me playing at 2 am last night while everyone was asleep. She started yelling at me saying that I'm a failure that has no self control and she shouldn't have trusted me, closed my computer and took it. I was embarrassed. My mic was open, he heard everything and all I felt was shame. I went to bed crying. She didn't say a word to me this whole day. I tried explaining but she won't even look at me. I genuinely don't understand what was so wrong about me spending a couple hours with my soon-to-be-friend. What am I doing wrong?Info: I do spend a lot of time playing video games which has caused arguments before, this isn't the first time. But she did tell me she was disappointed which made me think ""Is this about the guests? Am I not doing enough for them?""Yes she did scream at me at 2 am, while the guests were asleep in the next room",AITA? i was playing video games with my classmate,NTA -110mkuo,"My mother has been to the doctor a few times during the last few weeks. We live in a relatively small town, which is about an hour away from the capital. Since she is barely able to walk, to avoid further efforts, going by car was a more comfortable and faster option since it is a long way to get back within the city. She doesn't know how to drive, so my father is the one who drives her, with her guiding him on the way.The thing is that he works nights on duty as a security guard (riding a motorcycle through a condominium for a few hours, within a 12-hour work shift, and taking the day off when he returns from his shift) and it has been exhausting for him to take her to these appointments. He comes back at 7am and leaves almost immediately with her without sleep. I, on the other hand, don't work yet, but I am a college student and have been taking care of my mother's small demands and household activities. I have accumulated these with others that were already mine. My mother went to the doctor yesterday, on Friday, and he said she needed to have an MRI to return to him Monday, meaning she had two more days of pain ahead of her. She is taking medication and using a compression stocking indicated by another doctor, but since yesterday these things have not helped with the pain. She talked to a neighbor yesterday as she was walking home, who has felt the same pain and indicated a remedy, which she went looking for today. It was 5pm, usually the time when we start preparing things for my father's work (coffee, lunch box, etc.) when she found a specific pharmacy that did not require a prescription.I went to call my father to go and he got up complaining about the time, saying that ""why didn't she see this sooner"", between other things, and so we went. When we got there, the medicine was almost five times the normal price, so I spent a few more minutes texting her until she told me to go to another pharmacies. I went back to the car and told my father that it was too expensive there and that she had told us to go to those places. My father started the car saying ""Fu**!"", yelling and shouting. When he started the car, I said ""But she's in pain,"" then he simply replied, ""Yeah, so what!? I work on a fu***** motorcycle!"". At the time I just stayed serious looking out, not saying anything else. We went to the drugstores, where the attendants said that the medicine would only be sold with a prescription. I spoke again with my mother, who said that there was another pharmacy in that area. Although quiet, i was angry, so I told my mother that I would go alone, and I did. I went back to the parking lot of the first pharmacy and told my father to leave, because they had other pharmacies to go to. He asked at the same time if they had other pharmacies to go to. And I just repeated for him to leave as I continued on foot. I heard him say ""Come back soon"", but I didn't turn back and walked on.",AITA for leaving my father in the parking lot?,NTA -110hvsj,"My fiancé and I are living with my mom. This is not out of necessity for my him or myself, it’s to support my mom. I was living with my mom out of necessity until March 2022, I still paid about ~50% of household bills, then my health got dramatically worse, and my then boyfriend (now fiancé) who’s a paramedic let me move in with him. He only works 3 nights a week, and he was able to be more of a full time caretaker for me when I was at my worst. I never asked him to do that, but I’m so thankful he did. My mom is older, still working a very hard job, and constantly sore and tired.I have a small dog that my mom gave me when I was 4, she’s 20 now, and still my sweet baby girl. My mom has a small dog of the same breed who’s 10, that she got when I was 14. He is the goofiest, silliest little boy there ever was. For as long as she’s had him, I’ve been the one to primarily feed and care for him. My mom also has a 3 year old dog that lives with her boyfriend, and she’s very involved with that dogs care.When I moved out, I left my dog with my mom. I wasn’t very mobile, and I didn’t come home to visit often. Besides, it would have been unfair to her to be stuck in a small apartment when I was needing to go to the ER nearly every day. My mom agreed to take care of her. It was really hard for me to not be with the dogs, and I cried a lot. My health got better, I went back to work, I got engaged, and my mom told me how much she struggled while I was sick. All the bills were past due since I wasn’t helping pay them anymore, the house was even more of a wreck than when I left, and the dogs were matted and not eating. She tried to sell me on moving back with fiancé by saying she’d help with my ongoing healthcare needs, I knew that was a lie, but I did still want to help keep her afloat and be with the dogs and be close to work. I also worry about her depression and ability to care for herself. She’s my mom, after all.Right before fiance and I moved in again, her dog had a health crisis. I kept telling her something was wrong and he needed a vet, but she didn’t believe me. He stopped being able to walk. fiancé and I took him to the vet. He’s thankfully better, but he had a severe stomach blockage that probably would have killed him.Now that we’re back living here, fiance and I are the ones to groom him, bathe him, play with him, we buy him toys, we cook his food because he has special dietary needs, and he sleeps with us every night, right next to my dog. When it rains and he gets nervous, fiance and I are the ones to calm him down. My mom might pet him, but she spends 98% of her time in her room or at her boyfriends. We’re not moving soon, but I don’t want to leave him when we do when it’s clear he’s not a priority to her.Also, if it matters, fiance and I pay for about 75% of the household bills, and my mom also semi-recently had multiple heart attacks.",WIBTA if I took my mom’s dog whenever I move out?,NTA -110hgmn,"This year my schools winter formal dance was held in the school gym, and after going to only venues a lot of students including myself (17f) just didn’t have an interest in going, I mean why sit there with an overpriced ticket eating cheep pizza and powdered lemonade? Anyways I saw a haunted house that was all over tik tok and instagram- it seemed really cool especially since around this time of year haunted houses aren’t even a thing. I asked my best friend (18m) and my other friend, whom he is dating (17f) if they would rather ditch the school dance and go to that, in which they were very excited. Tickets weren’t too expensive however I’m not very well off financially, and I had been saving for my ticket. I was asked to get everyone’s ticket and that they would pay me back, which i was okay with- thought i regularly informed them when i needed the money and how much the ticket was.My best friend, he is what you’d call “well off”. His parents make a lot of money and he has never had a job before or had to work for anything. His girlfriend had not problem getting me the money, but by the time of the event he hadn’t payed, though i could visibly see he had cash on him.So not only had I bought his ticket but i had brought some edibles for us to enjoy since we would be going to be waiting in line for awhile. Anyways when we finally got there he kept leaving without telling anyone- Eventually I went after him the third time to find out he was worried somebody from his old school (that he hasn’t gone to since he was like 14, and a good hour away) would see him? I understand that fear however it was unprompted and not even possible. Over the past few years he looks completely different, and he doesn’t post photos online so they would have no way to tell it’s him.When we’re back in line he is complaining and complaining about the actors- they were just trying to scare us and tease us, and it was fun! but he would be such an asshole to them! then he started complaining that he couldn’t leave the building- before we went in we were told a dozen times not entry, and no bathrooms inside, so it’s not like this was new. He kept saying “i can’t be here” and it really pissed me off, I payed a lot of money so we can go and took a busy day off work. Finally when the haunted house is over we head out to get something to eat, and the entire time he was feeling up his girlfriend and kissing her in the back seat!! I was furious! it makes me so uncomfortable to see that, especially since i see him like a brother. When we have hung out before i’ve told them no making out or overly touchiness. they’ve been WAY to open with me about that stuff, but this time it was in my moms car! WHEN SHE WAS IN IT!!I just felt like this whole thing he was super ungrateful and his negative and horny attitude really bummer me and the other people out, it wasn’t fair and i felt so used. Now i don’t want to talk to him i’m just so infuriated",AITA for giving my best friend the silent treatment,NTA -110riet,"I just need some unbiased perspectives, please. So my husband (23m) and I (24f) have been together for 4 years, married for almost 2. We had been friends for a long time before we started dating. When we started dating, one of the things I loved about him was that he didn't play video games, like at all. However, his cousins got him into a new game that they all play together. I was fine with it for awhile but, it's been a couple of months it's all he does in his free time. All night, he plays this game with his headphones on, I have to repeat myself several times to talk to him. He does work very hard, and he helps a little with housework. But it's really frustrating when it's all night every night, I can't talk to him, and it feels like I never get any of his time anymore. Well, last night he was up late playing, I had to work today, and his playing was keeping me awake. After trying to sleep for 3 hours, I finally snapped at him. I have tried to talk to him about it, but he just gets defensive and brushes me off. So please let me know, aita? Does anyone have any advice? I'll do my best to read comments and answer questions.Edit to add because I feel like I need to clarify, he was not like this before. He never played video games up until these last few months and it's just this one game. He still does other things like working on his project (bus converted to mortorhome that i help him with sometimes) but, when it comes time to relax he only wants to play that game.Edit edit to add that we talked it through and he said he's going to try to balance his time better. Thank you everyone who took the time to read",AITA for snapping at my husband for playing video games,NTA -110ri6e,"So some context,,, I roleplay (I know it’s cringy) but I only do it with one of my friends and that’s it. (I’m 21 btw) My boyfriend is well aware of this, and he often makes fun of me for it. I usually try to laugh it off, but I feel like today a line was crossed. I was writing out a response to my friend when my bf came to sit beside me. I turned off the phone so he wouldn’t see what I was writing (I typically do this and he knows that) but this time he asked to see it. I kept telling him no, because I felt like it was private. We went back and forth for some time until finally I gave in. He read what I had typed out and said to me “This doesn’t make any fucking sense. I feel sorry for your friend if they’re having to read this. What is your character drunk ? Or [r-word] ?” I got upset and told him he was being a dick about it, and I told him that’s why I didn’t want him to see it. He asked me why I was getting so defensive, and now I feel bad. But I also feel like I wasn’t in the wrong and he should apologize. I’m confused as to who’s in the wrong here… AITA?",AITA for telling my boyfriend he’s being a dick?,NTA -110ypew,"When I drive I (40m) set my speedometer at 3 over and that’s it. On the freeway and the limit is 60, I’m going 63. 43 in a 40 and you can imagine how it goes from there. The only time I make an exception to that rule is in a 25 or 20 when I will basically drive exactly at the limit. I don’t think there is a problem with driving the limit (or within 3) and I do not care what lane I am in. If traffic dictates I am in the left lane, guess what, I am going 3 over. I do not change lanes if a car comes up behind me.Edit: traffic dictates means the other lanes are going under the limit so I would move over AND be passing people. I do not camp in it. Not do I get on the freeway and immediately go to the left. If the flow of traffic is good, no reason to go left unless it’s for the HOV lane. Sorry if that was not clear before. I also do not slow down or speed up. It is not my responsibility to prevent you from going fast, nor is it my responsibility to get out of your way so you can. The speed limit, except in very limited places in my area, applies to every lane, there is no such thing as a ‘fast lane.’I do not see that following the law should make the ahole but some other drivers sure seem to. But I assume they would if I went 80 and they wanted to go 88, right?So, AITA for following the law?",AITA for only ever driving +3 the speed limit?,YTA -110r0bg,"My wife and I had a trip away planned next weekend. Nothing fancy but a weekend away from our daily routine. We’ve been planning this for two months. Yesterday, my daughter asked my wife to watch her dog next weekend since my daughter and her fiancé need a weekend away. My wife volunteered and now we have to reschedule our trip. I love my daughter but she’s 30 years old and can easily afford a dog sitter (she’s used one several times in the last). AITA for not wanting to watch my daughter’s dog?",AITA for not wanting to watch my daughter’s dog for a week,NTA -110qxk5,"Sorry if the title could be misleading but I didn’t know how to summarize all this.I’m a 23 years old girl who’s attending her 2nd year at university.I worked during my whole first year at a fast food restaurant and that was a pretty abusive workplace but I never wanted to depend on my parents so I stayed; things got pretty rough around october and they didn’t renovate my contract (they did that without a warning which is mandatory in my country), but my parents were insisting for me to quit anyway saying things like ”they can’t treat you like this, we got your back!” (just to mention some things, we were 3 people in there and 2 of them called in sick last summer during my exam weeks and I had to cover for them while not being paid enough, a girl who was micromanaging everyone always threw fits with the boss if something was slightly off even if i closed 1hr later than usual etc.)Fast forward to now: money is pretty tight (it has been since last year because of covid), i don’t live with my parents anymore because they live in another city and we have another home that’s closer to my university and I can’t work right now because I have mandatory lessons everyday, i’ve sent countless resumes and they didn’t even get back to me.I never ask for money from my parents if it’s not for groceries or fuel, my shoes are almost broken and i’m not even asking money for that.My mom is acting what seems to be a little more aggressive than usual lately, she’s always complaining to me (and by always I mean everyday, twice a day) how little money we have and listing everything that we have to pay for (she needs someone to vent apparently, but is your struggling daughter the right person to do so multiple times a day?).She even accused me of asking for money both to her and my dad for the same thing (mind you, i’ve never even THOUGHT about doing something like that).As if the situation couldn’t get heavier, today I discovered she’s keeping a list of every cent i’m asking for, then started to talk about “i don’t know if you’re ALSO asking your dad for extra tho” and you have no idea how much that hurt me.I got pretty angry and I told her I feel like i’m being treated like some sort of criminal or something, someone who can’t be trusted when everything I did was just f-cking trying to survive, that she should be a safe space for me and not a place where i just feel like a burden.So I wanna know what you think about that.AITA and being over dramatic about all of this?Also, my parents are still married and still live together if that’s any help.",AITA for snapping at my mother?,NTA -110y2yb,"My older brother (19m) and I (18m) are moving into an apartment for the first time within the following months. We will split rent and any fees 50/50, one thing I wanted to make clear to him was that we should give each other a set of rules that we should respect for each other. He doesn't really have any for me but one rule I wanted to have was to not have him bring his friends over. I told him that I feel it would be too invasive due to us sharing the apartment and it not being solely rented by either one of us. Also that even if he cleans up and is responsible for messes or problems that may occur, it would still be stressful for me to have to have them on my mind if I was at work or wanting to relax. One thing I am especially concerned about is that I have a cat that will be staying with us and will have access to the entire apartment except for my brother's room. I told him that she does not do well around people she doesnt know and that him bringing home people could freak her out, especially because they are young adults and could be rowdy or chaotic. (not to mention close proximity to neighbors)Even though I have friends, I wouldn't bring them over because I don't have full ownership of the apartment and I feel it would be inconsiderate. I told my brother that he could always hang out with his friends at their places, or out an about in the city but he didn't like it when I told him that.Overall I feel that him having the option to bring people over whenever he wants has more negative impacts, than positive ones. Which is why I decided to tell him he shouldn't.Edit: Thanks for the feedback everyone I appreciate it. I saw some good compromises that people suggested such as having only certain days where friends can come over or limiting things like having parties. I will talk to my brother about making some compromises. Another one was to just live by myself, it is something that I will start saving for because it is quite expensive and wasn't realistic for me, or my older brother at this point in time.",WIBTA if I didn't allow my older brother to bring guests to our apartment?,YTA -110kzxi,"Me(mid 20s male, friend same)So there’s a lot of backstory that doesn’t probably matter but I’ve known my friend, or both involved in this situation for 10years+. Around Christmas time we all were lazy and forgot to each other gifts.( I forgot to mention there’s a third friend male in our group) Well, about a week after Christmas me and the one who didn’t get me a gift “bill” went to the hobby store.Our other friend “Chris” is very into hobby kits and so am I. Bill thinks they’re fine but not his thing.So we went in there looking for something for me and I spent a bunch on kits for both me and Chris. I realized I didn’t get bill anything either and after we left I went back and bought him a really nice kit. Prior I had also bought him some cheap music CDS he likes.I had recieved no gifts from him as he claimed he tried to buy something on Amazon for both me and Chris but I stated how I didn’t like what he wanted to get ( he brought up something casually and I said I didn’t like it ) and the gift he bought anyways got “delayed” for both me and Chris. SUPPOSEDLY he didn’t get Chris a real gift either.So time passed and I asked him if he got me anything as Chris later got me a gift so he’s the only person who didn’t do anything for me. He said no and said the reasons I said above and that he wanted to get me something( this was about two weeks ago)(IMPORTANT, bill has the most money and income and least expenses out of the three of us if you claim money is a reason for not getting me a gift…) I still haven’t heard anything since that conversation. At this point it’s not about money or a nice gift, but just the thought of it or him getting me something.(ALSO IMPORTANT, he celebrates Christmas and does routinely get people gifts)AITA or weird for asking him again if he got me something? I know some people will claim “ it’s weird and socially pushy to ask” but I don’t think so as I should have a right to know if my friend cares enough about me to get me something.. even minor. I believe I might be the asshole because I seem entitled, but I don’t think that’s really fair to say.",AITA for asking my friend still if he got me a Christmas gift?,YTA -110v6gf,"I (34f) am throwing Super Bowl get party at my house for my extended family today. My mother in law and my brother-in-law and his children were carpooling to my house. I told them my husband and I’s party was going to start at 6. This morning I texted them to ask what time they would be over here by. They didn’t respond the whole day, and they just came over at 5:00pm unannounced. I refused to let them in, since I wasn’t ready and they weren’t invited at that time. My mil demanded to be let in and argued that it was cold out (it wasn’t that cold it was 45 degrees). I told them my house my rules and that they should go out and eat or something and come back in an hour. When they refused, my husband and I threatened to call the police. My brother in law left in a huff. When 6 rolled around, they didn’t come back, and my brother in law just left a snarky message saying that they were going to watch the Super Bowl at his house instead. My husband is on my side, but my brother in law is pretty mad. So Reddit, aita?",AITA for threatening to call the cops on my family?,YTA -110psm9,"I (20F) have a close friend (19F) who I've been friends with for over 9 years. We used to be super close, calling each other almost every day, playing games, etc. but over the past year she's been getting more distant. I've tried to bring it up a few times, but I was mainly brushed off. I noticed that she would often try to pawn me off to other people or completely ignore my concerns.I've always talked her through her problems and listened to her rants, and I've been confused on why I'm no longer getting the same courtesy. It came to a head 6 months ago when I didn't join one of our normal calls with friends bc I had become overwhelmed with life and tried to take the easy way out. I ended up in the hospital for a few days.I got a text from her asking why I didn't join, I decided to be honest with what actually happened. Her response: ""What does that have to do with you not joining?"" That statement broke my heart and I snapped, going off on about how that's the only thing she cared about when I was fighting for my life. Not once was she concerned about my wellbeing, but concerned about her feelings on the situation. She told everyone about how I accused her of not caring and how upset that made her, and everyone soon started calling me an asshole for making her worry about me.We've sense moved on, and I apologized for how my actions could have possibly hurt her but the same issues have arose. I've never treated her as a therapist, she doesn't know even the half of what happens in my daily life. I have other friends and a partner who I can talk to about my more serious. She keeps on saying everything is fine, but things arent how they used to be. I've tried talking to her about it but its like she purposely misses the point. After a few more months of this I finally decided to write a long message to her about how her treatment towards me really didn't make me feel great. I asked if we could work on things together, and how we both have different needs as friends and if she could say that she loves and cares about me that would be really nice. I poured my heart out, making sure nothing could be misinterpreted. She ignored me for hours before she gave me some bs about how I can't rely on her (I never have) and that she tries her best but talking about hard topics makes her uncomfortable and thats just the way she is. I tried to explain that she might be misunderstanding my words and I just wanted her to be there for me sometimes since we are close friends and I do the same for her. I got no response to that shes telling everyone that I'm an asshole and asking too much of her. I'm extremely hurt by all this but I'm starting to wonder, AITA?",AITA for asking my friend to be there for me,NTA -110msld,"Some context -The definition of disability is a condition that causes activity limitation. There's the stuff most think of when they hear 'disability'. People in wheelchairs, blindness, deafness, down syndrome, autism, etc. However things like anxiety, depression, and even ocd can be, and typically are, considered disabilities. I have an entire list, both physical to mental, however I don't 'look like it'. My biggest contributors are adhd, anxiety, pots, and ehlars danlos syndrome. \[All diagnosed by professionals.\] It's also worth mentioning that I have heavily suspected autism. Because of these, as well as the ones not listed, I'm considered disabled.Onto the actual story -A certain gathering I'm apart of hosts this prom like event for disabled folk. The leader \[Clawdeen\] of my group was talking about how great it was, that it was an opportunity for disabled individuals to be put in the spot light, loved, treasured, and appreciated. I was getting excited and started stimming pretty hard. Clawdeen was referring to disabled folk as 'those types of people' and just generally talking as if there weren't any disabled people in the room, knowing full well of my situation. At some point I mentioned I was disabled myself, and 2 of the girls \[there were only 3 others\] started looking at me funny, and Clawdeen had said something along the lines of 'well, I don't think you're *really disabled'.* I hadn't said it out of malice, or to 'set her straight', I was just excited, but, genuinely pissed at this point because, lady, I've lived with these disorders my entire life, I think I'm fairly certain if I'm disabled or not. I had asked her what the event considered disabled, and she rattled off what most people think of. If you were to see me just walking around, no, you probably wouldn't attomatically think I'm disabled. I'm not in a wheelchair, I don't use any sort of walking stick or guide animal, I don't typically have meltdowns, I look like a ""normal person"". \[In heavy quotations, because normal in itself is weird.\] But, she was entirely invalidating me and my experiences because I didn't fit her description. But since she starting speaking assertively and since those 2 girls looked at me weird, I feel kinda like the AH. I didn't mean to take attention away from others, but now I feel like I was. So reddit, am I the asshole?",AITA for saying that I [Romeo] am in fact considered disabled despite it not being obvious?,NTA -110jehm,"Throwaway for obvious reasons. I, 13f started secondary school in August. I'm autistic, have ADHD, severe social anxiety and OCD. My autism and ADHD is not severe and my anxiety has gotten better over the past year or so.Onto the story I get help from two people in school. I appreciate it but it's too far. They're with me for every class, write stuff for me, read stuff for me, I've been able to read for eight years. In music class, one of them litterly sits next to me and reads stuff from the bored when I can see myself. The same person litterly helps me cook in home economics. It's embarrassing since I want to learn how to do it myself. A couple of months ago, I went home early feeling sick and when my mom came to collect me, they said, ""She seems to have an issue with us helping her"" and my mom said, ""She doesn't have an issue, she just feels your overbearing on her"". It got better for a while and then got worse. They weren't with me for English, now they are. They know my entire timetable and what room. Even for tests and exams they're with me. Language is a requirement, I do Spanish but one of them is with me for it because I don't really understand it. If it's a subject I'm not very good at like maths or geography, that's fine but everything else is too much. The only subjects they're not with me for are SPHE, CSPE, religion and art. They know what number and where my locker is, they used to come down to my locker with me, but now they stand above where it is at break, lunch and at the end of the day, when they see me, they'll say, ""You ok?"" Like yes I'm fine I'm only grabbing a folder or something. I know some people would love the help I'm getting but you'd want to be getting it to understand why it's so embarrassing. I got into one of the best schools in the country and yet I can't even go to my locker without being asked if I need help. I posted about this a couple of months ago on my other account and everyone said NTA. I've been ranting to my mom about it and she also thinks it's going too far. My best friend Avery (fake name) also thinks it's too much. We're in different schools but from what I've told her, she thinks that's way too overbearing. I need others opinions on this so, AITA?",AITA for ranting about the support I'm getting in school?,NAH -1117vy2,"My husband and I have 2 daughters Jenny 14 and Tara 15. Tara was extremely sick. I won't get into details for privacy but we went through hell. For 2 years I had to be in the hospital all the time and my husband had to work 2 jobs to be able to pay for the hospitalWe decided that the best thing to do for Jenny would be to send her to live with my MIL who lives in another city. She is the only close family we have. We were trying to give Jenny a normal life otherwise she would spend all her time in a hospital like us.Now that Tara is better, things are a lot better and we asked Jenny to come back home and she was glad to do so however she only ever spends time with her dad, never with me or Tara and she never says why she doesn't want to spend time with us. Not just that she also actively bullies Tara any chance she getsLast night her dad managed to convince her to go out to dinner with me. Tara and I got ready and we were waiting for Jenny. She came out of her room and saw us there, turned to my husband and said she changed her mind and went back to her room. I followed her and asked what's wrong. She started screaming at me asking me if I have to include Tara in everything. She accused me of not enjoying spending my time with her and ""bringing Tara so that I could spend time with Tara and pretend to like Jenny"" I told her this is not true and I was just trying to have a girls night with both of my daughters but she screamed at me to get out and called me an asshole and other namesEdit: I'm making this edit to explain some thingsIt's clear that none of you ever had to look after a sick child. You keep asking me why I didn't visit as if I could just leave her alone(yes, alone, because my husband was at work all the time) how could I do that? I did everything I could. I called Jenny almost every day and I tried to be involved in her life as much as possible.Now she is trying to make sure Tara is neglected and I should just do it? Tara was sick for 2 years, she is finally starting to have a normal life and I should just neglect her like her dad? And what is the point really? Talking from exprience, Jenny would be on her phone ignoring me the entire time, this way at least I had someone to talk to when Jenny was so busy ignoring me.I love her, I know she is just a kid but I expected her to be a bit more mature than this. I'm just so tired of everything. I'll talk to Jenny and plan to get dinner just the 2 of us another night and see if she is willing however I will never give in to all her demands and neglect Tara because of her which is what my husband is doing",AITA for including both of my daughters?,YTA -1117ymt,"I’ve (22F) been friends with James (22m) since we started college. Around 7-8 months ago he decided to change his lifestyle and be healthier. He was overweight but already lost a lot of weight and fitter. I was his workout/motivation buddy throughout these months but lately he’s been confident enough to do his own thing. A couple of weeks ago we went to a friends party (it wasn’t really a party, more of a low key get together). James is shy/awkward and tends to stick with me whenever we go to social environments with lots of people. But at some point this (tipsy) girl came up to him and seemed clearly interested. She was ignoring me *entirely*. I was about to walk off when she asked me -in front of several others - if James and I are a together.I laughed and joked that she wouldn’t have asked me this if she had seen him last year. I was immediately told by some friends that it was a mean thing to say, and in hindsight James seemed a little speechless. The girl asked me what I meant and I explained that he used to be way chubbier. Then she shrugged and said he’s “hot” and would take him off me if I didn’t mind. I thought this was trashy and just left. Afterwards I spoke to James in private and he seemed to have gotten his feelings hurt. I explained it was just a joke cos last year NOBODY would’ve assumed we’re together. I mean the whole point of the joke was that he’s considered more attractive *now* but I know his true awkward self and past. Am I the asshole in this situation?",AITA for making a harmless joke about my formerly overweight friend?,YTA -11174gu,"For context: My(24M) brother “Luke”(31M), his wife “Emma”(28F) and their son “Kyle”(4m) moved to my city last year because Emma got a new job. They would occasionally ask me to watch Kyle because I work from home with very flexible hours. I personally do not like kids at all but I was happy to do it at the time because I wanted to help them, it was not that often(maybe once or twice every 2 weeks) and Kyle was very well behaved.Now the issue started near the end of last year when Luke decided to change careers.(He was previously working remotely as well) His new job required him to go to work a lot more often and make substantially less money. This left them depending on me more and more to take care of Kyle. It went from once or twice every 2 weeks to around 3 days out of the week. To make matters worse, Kyle’s behavior changed drastically. To be completely honest I can barely stand the kid anymore, constantly running around and screaming while I’m trying to work and just overall being a little shit.My SIL Emma was over the other day picking up Kyle and made some comments about getting rid of some of the “dangerous” furniture in my house like tables with glass edges and stuff so that my home is safer for their son and made a joke about baby proofing my house because they're planning to have a daughter. This pissed me off but I didn’t say anything.The situation hit a breaking point last Friday when I was talking about the 1.5 week long trip I was going on with my girlfriend on the 15th (Me and my GF like to travel somewhere nice at least once a month, we could not the past couple months because of Kyle but I promised my GF we would go somewhere exotic for valentines). Upon hearing this they got pretty mad saying who was gonna take care of Kyle, that I need to stop these “childish trips” and that I need to take more responsibility because “I’m an uncle now”. Im not gonna lie, after hearing this I fucking snapped. I said that their demon child isn’t my responsibility and I’m not just gonna give up my life because they fucked without a condom. It got pretty obscene from there and some horrible things were said. They left and we are no longer on speaking terms. My parents and Emma’s parents are on their side and EXTREMELY angry at me for “refusing to pull my weight”. My parents said that this is my duty and I should be sacrificing everything to help them. It’s honestly got me really down and I've cried my eyes pretty much every day since seeing those messages from my family. I’m starting to wonder if I really should be taking more responsibility. AITA for choosing my trips over my brother and nephew?",AITA for choosing to go on a trip with my girlfriend instead of taking care of my struggling brother's son?,NTA -11182dr,"My father has many faults. I am well aware of these and therefore tend to keep our interactions private. I still love him and I have developed a system to keep him from fucking me over. When my fiance asked me to marry him I said yes. And then I went and privately told my dad about it. We had a nice dinner with my fiance and that was that. My FMIL wanted to have an engagement party. I was fine with it. I just requested that she not invite my father. I explained that we had a strained relationship and that I preferred to keep him at a distance. She agreed. I guess she thought she knew better than me. She wanted to ""fix"" our relationship and the first step.was inviting him to her home for a party with alcohol. When I met my dad for dinner I specifically chose a restaurant that didn't have a liquor license. And we went right after work. His car has a breathalyzer built in to make it start. I know what would happen otherwise. When I saw my dad there my stomach flipped. I asked her what was going on and she said that a good daughter would want her dad there on this important day. I asked her to please make him leave. She said I was being rude. I went over to my dad and asked him to leave. He promised to behave. He was so happy to be invited. I told my fiance that I might need to leave in a hurry and he had to come with me when I left. He knows the whole story. He agreed. My father was fine at the beginning. Then wine came around. I glared at him and shook my head no. He took some. Then more. Then more. He started getting ""happy"". That doesn't last. After dinner there were drinks. As soon as I heard him raise his voice I asked my fiance to leave. I faked a stomach problem and we left. The least embarrassing thing he did was piss himself and puke on the lawn. My FMIL is furious. She said that we should have told her that my father has a drinking problem. I said that it wouldn't have been a problem if she hadn't lied to my face about not inviting him. My father is humiliated that he did this. I am just numb. My uncle has no problem controlling my dad. He is a cop and he has come to several events with my dad where he kept him from drinking. My older brothers wedding for example. But he lives in another city. He would have been at the wedding. I'm just angry that she lied and I'm embarrassed and I'm venting here because I need someone to tell me I'm not the asshole for not wanting to tell people my father is like this.",AITA for letting my father cause a huge scene at my engagement party and embarassing my future MIL?,NTA -11149j8,"For about a year now I have been dating a woman who has two children. She gets alimony and child support. Right before the pandemic made everything go crazy I bought myself a brand new car. It isn't anything fancy but it is the most expensive thing I've ever purchased besides my home. Two months ago my girlfriend's car gave up the ghost. She cannot find a car that she both likes and is in her price range. Even used cars are going for insane prices. My car has 24,000 miles on it and I could probably get what I paid for it if I sold it. I have been helping her out by taking her for groceries and other errands. A few times now she has asked if she could borrow my car to trade custody of the kids. I agreed and asked her to please not let her kids eat in my car. I'm very particular about my car. For example it has heated and vented leather seats. I don't want a drink spilled on them. I don't want sticky fingerprints on my stuff. She agreed to my request but didn't follow through. I found food in the car. There was other evidence that my request had not been followed. So I told her that I couldn't lend her my car any more. I signed her up for a car share service that I pay for that she can use to shuttle the kids around. I made sure she knew that if I got a cleaning charge after she used it I would cancel it. She says I'm being a controlling jackass about my car. I don't think I am. I don't go to her home and leave a mess. I don't think it's weird to want to have nice things remain nice. Her kids are mostly well behaved and we get along. They have been in my car with me and they manage to not make a mess. They have been in my home and on my furniture. Same thing. No mess. Coasters aren't alien to them or anything.EDITMy girlfriend's ex was very controlling with money. And other part of their marriage. She has a lot of issues stemming from that relationship.",AITA for not lending my car to my girlfriend anymore because she lets her kids eat in it.,NTA -1119tn0,"My(28m) wife(23) has an eating disorder. She's underweight and is going through treatment that both our families know about. She's also a very picky eater and mostly eats homemade food so it gets a bit tough to decide what to order when we eat out which we rarely do .She's adviced to eat whatever she likes but must try to eat enough so we always order a number of dishes for her to decide from as her preference changes very quick . On saturday night , our families invited us out for dinner (they are also family friends for a long time and often hang out especially my SIL and wife's older sister.) My SIL never gets along with my wife and always tries to find ways to criticize her . From the moment we stepped in the resturant , she subtly kept passing mean comments towards her .She and wife's sister then started to comment on her body and were trying to give her tips on how to gain weight faster. I told them, her doctor will take care of that and they don't need to bother ,hoping they'd stop . Wife's already sensitive about this topic and doesn't like when people talk to her about it . I did not want to give them more reasons to criticize her and ordered for myself various dishes she likes to eat so she has more options . But they picked up on it and SIL was constantly saying how we always waste so much food just so she can eat small portions of her choice and leave the rest and I am always babysitting her .And most probably she is just too picky and there's no eating disorder at all. At this point it was enough I could take and told her she needs to focus on her obese child (he wasn't present ) and his diet before he faces some serious health issues. I told our families that next time if they wish to see us , they should not invite this woman and told my brother his wife is not allowed in our hosue anymore . We immediately left after paying for what I ordered . My mom called to apologise but my brother is very upset with me. He thinks my remarks were out of line about his son. And I disrespected his wife , she is right that I am actually treating my partner like a child ,she is an adult and she can take care of what she eats (Edit). I know what I did was what I was supposed to do but maybe I went overboard when I talked about the kid.AITA?",AITA for telling my SIL she should stop commenting on my wife's eating habits and focus on her obese kid?,NTA -1119pax,"Original post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10xlrqw/aita_for_telling_my_adopted_brother_hes/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf Thank you everyone for your input.I decided against going to my art show, called all of our family and friends and had them show up to his instead. We got it sold out!! We all met up with him for lunch beforehand and gave him his little gifts, he said he appreciates it but it’ll take awhile to trust us again, which is very valid considering how we’ve been treating him. He also introduced us to his boyfriend! They’re adorable together. Mom and dad thanked him for being someone Row could turn to when he needed someone. They did great, they even got a standing ovation at the end. Row did injure his ankle slightly in the beginning of act one during his first solo but played it off amazingly. I’m proud of him, and it was amazing to formally meet his boyfriend. Mom and dad sat him down in front of all of us and apologized for how they treated him and promised they’d do better. After the show he came up and hugged me while crying to thank me. I told him it was all you guys. Thank you guys again.",UPDATE: Aita for telling my adopted brother he’s overreacting?,NTA -1116a21,"My dad has been living with me and my wife for about a year. A developer bought the apartment he was renting and he was supposed to temporarily live with us as he found a new place.The thing is that he paid the downpayment on our current place as our wedding gift. I currently pay the mortgage, and my wife contributes to the bills. The house is under my name only.Some of the reasons I want him to move out are that he doesn't respect our space (then plays dumb about it), and he also never cleans up after himself.For example, I used to do the laundry at the house, but when my dad moved in, he'd ""borrow"" my work shirts from the laundry without asking. He'd claim that he didn't know they were mine. I then started having my laundry sent out. He'd borrow them from the closet and then still claim that he ""didn't know"".He used to open my mail and claim ""he didn't know"" it was my mail. So, I started going paperless with a lot of stuff and had a PO Box opened so that my stuff could go there. He got angry about it and said that I just need to trust him. He claimed that it was just an honest mistake and that I shouldn't have to keep secrets. Strange, he somehow always remembers to put the junk mail to one side and give it to me, but if I ever have to get a physical check in the mail, he somehow ""doesn't know"".Then there's the whole thing where he complains about nearly everything I do. Got new kitchen cabinets but in? They're so obtrusive. Want to hang a painting? He'll take it down the next day because he doesn't want a hole in ""his"" wall. Have some friends over? He complained about us speaking a language that he doesn't understand.My wife thinks that I should maybe just chill out, or at least do more legwork to get him the apartment. Truth be told, I tried that, but my dad is so dug in at this point that he refuses to move. It's also considered somewhat of ""the right thing to do"" in my culture to let your parents stay at your place.Technically speaking, *we* could move, and let my dad continue to live there. I have an investment property in a different part of town, but that would mean losing out on the income that we get from renting it out, and a longer commute for my wife. That said, if I asked my dad to move out, I would probably end up paying his rent, too.",WIBTA if I asked my dad to move out of my apartment?,NTA -11176kv,Me (16 ) and my mom(45) have always gotten along she said to never hair my hair Even though she has cut her hair since I was born I can tell because her hair is as long as mine I've called her out for it and many times and she shrugged it off saying I don't get what you can cut your hair but I can't cut mine. She started screaming at me and I said that if she doesn't stop controlling what I do with my hair and body or what I wear I will go live with my grandparents so AITA? Update: I'm living with my grandparents. I did get a haircut. My mom was not stop blowing up my phone. She is harassing me and my other two siblings that I took with me. I'm thinking of filing for full custody once I turn 18 of my siblings,AITA for cutting my hair Even though my mom said not to,NTA -1117x2j,"I (50sM) got divorced about seven years ago. The whole divorce process did some real damage, financially and emotionally. My son (20sM) had just started college, and as part of the settlement I signed on to take all financial responsibility for college. At first I was going to pay outright, but since money got shifted around in the divorce, I told him to take out loans and I would pay for them as a lump-sum after he graduated (he didn’t qualify for aid because of my salary). After the divorce, I admittedly made some poor dating decisions and had to deal with the fallout of that. That bad relationship and other things have come up over the years, and I began to pay most of the payments starting 6 months ago. Usually my son venmo requests me each month and I send it that way.Here’s the thing: he has graduated and gotten a great job, and, as of a year ago, earns more than me now. I got cancer a couple of years ago and had to deal with all the bills (the insurance covered it but I had to cover the co-pay). I recovered, thankfully, and have continued to send the monthly payments. My son recently told me that he feels that sending the venmo requests adds to the stress of the loans and wants to set up instant transfers or some other system where he wouldn’t remind me every month. I said we could explore that, and then a few weeks after that I found out I had cancer again. He called me to ask about my health and to ask about setting up the automatic transfers, I told him I was disappointed that he didn't have more empathy for me, and told him he'd get his precious money when I died. That's when he called me an asshole for ""making him enforce the divorce agreement."" I send him the payments every time he reminds me, and he earns more than me now so it’s not like it’s an urgent matter. AITA for not setting up auto-pay?",AITA for not setting up autopay for my son's student debt because of divorce+cancer?,YTA -11194rc,"TLDR: told mom I wouldn't be comfortable taking in toddler cousin even tho older cousin is overwhelmed. Older cousin is breaking down. I may sound heartless for this but he's out of control. My older cousin Mara (20f) called our grandmother asking her to take her brother (4m). She has been raising him since we were 16 and recently had her daughter, Naomi. She said taking care of Naomi, him and working at a factory is too much. Our grandmother declined but suggested asking my mother and I. Mara talked to my mom and said she hadn't thought of asking us because her mom might not agree with it. Mara's mom is very mentally ill, hates my mother and by proxy me and is in rehab. My mother got off the phone with her and spoke to me. I said I don't really want him here, he's unruly and so much work. I love him but I don't think we can even afford him. Plus, I am gone most of the day along with my brother (16m) so I don't think my mother should have to shoulder that alone.My mother admitted she'd only take him if she was paid by Mara, which I think hurt Mara to be told honestly. But at the same time, I'm very angry at Mara for her choices. She cannot save money, she constantly posts on insta at buffets and parties spending what she makes. She's not fit to care for him but none of us are. I honestly feel like if we say this to her she'll breakdown. But nobody wants him and I know she was upset and hurt this was the response. I think she expected us to say yes and take him free of charge. So I feel bad as she really seems at her wits end.",AITA for not wanting to take in my (19f) cousin (4m),NTA -1118qgz,"My friend Natalie admitted to being jealous of me and other women. I think she has a strong victim complex as a result of her jealousy.One of the things Natalie has done is she tried to ruin her other friend's new relationship because she had a crush on the guy 5 years ago. She spread around how her other friend stole her crush and lied about the facts to make her friend seem worse.Natalie hates other women for having a lot of men pursue them or having boyfriends. She said her former friends have ditched her once they got boyfriends. She hates when women wear skirts or shorts because she thinks they are showing off their body.Whenever I mention going to the gym when she asks what my plans are, she tells me that I am obsessed. I go 3 times a week and she knows this. She has tried to convince me not to go to the gym, telling me that she's in me for wanting to go.When guys ask me out, she tells me that they are only interested in my ""hot body"".Her weight has been increasing over the years and she has went from overweight to obese. I have comforted her and tried helping her (when she wanted my help) but she won't change her diet nor exercise. She calls counting calories to lose weight excessive.Instead, she said what she always said: men aren't interested in her romantically because of her weight and all they care about is looks, not personality. That's why they go after me, not her.Fed up, I told her I don't think men don't want to date you because of your weight. I think it's because you have a shitty, immature personality. You're jealous of every girl to the point where you try to put them down and bring them down to your level to make yourself feel better.She was very upset with my words and called me jealous of her because she's mainly friends with men and this is why she isn't friends with women; they cause too much drama. She told other people what I said to her who said I crossed the line by saying that.I might be TA because she is mostly friends with men who describe her as very nice, but none of them were ever interested in dating her. I've seen her treat her male friends differently, almost like she has a crush on all of them. But they have seen what she says and does to her female friends and just say ""they weren't meant to be friends"".I was wondering AITA? Edit: there are times when she is nice. I think when she gets jealous, she acts out. ","AITA for saying to my friend that her weight isn't what's deterring guys, but her shitty personality?",NTA -1118lve,"Me (29m) and my gf (28f) Live together and we both don't like having people in our house. I made it very clear to her that I was uncomfortable having people in our house when I moved in with her last year after catching her having a gf over without telling me. Especially since i wasnt there. last week we got in an argument, says she's not in the mood to fight and leaves without telling me anything! I was mad, in the heat of the moment i text her saying ""whos place are you going to? You can just stay there now."" (I apologized for that later) 5 minutes later, she shows up with a girl friend in the house. I was pissed, she knows how I feel. That's when I bought 2 security cameras for the safety of my belongings since she brought someone in the house.When I informed her, she kept prying why buy new ones when we have the ring system in a drawer. But I had already ordered on Amazon and I thought it was the end of story. She said she feels like she's being spied on and was uncomfortable that she wouldnt have access too. I told her that makes me trust her less, she shouldn't feel spied on if she has nothing to hide, but they were going up regardless.After installing, she brings it up AGAIN and we have this back and forth:(M= me and h=her)H. So, you chose to buy a cheap $75 camera when you complain every week about having no extra money and we have the newest ring camera you could install. It has better features, cheaper pricing and longer battery.M. No I'm keeping my camera up. They are already up!H. could you tell me your thought process to help me make logic of it? Seems like a loss for you all aroundM. I don't know anything about that ring camera. You never put it up so I had to get one to put up.H. You know nothing of either one but you know you're always welcome to whatever is here. Should have asked. M. Idk why you're making a big deal. You said you didn't even want the camera up! H. Yeah, but you did anyways so you might as well have a better one WE ALREADY HAVE. M. Fine! I'll take the camera down.H. seems odd to change your mind just because I bring up a logical suggestion.M. You want yours up so you can do itH. That seems childish. YOU want it up, I offered an upgrade. Chill and grow up. I go take mine down and tune her out because she starts calling me ""stubborn"" and ""controlling"". So I just went to bed because i only had 10 hours to sleep before work because of her talking. now she's calling me an AH and slept on the couch. AITA?EDIT: I ended up giving her access and camera is of front door only.",AITA for installing cameras in my own house?,YTA -1119027,"I f(23) have been dating my boyfriend m(26) for almost 3 years. Our anniversary is also on valentines to clarify, yes ik cheesie. The past 2 years I have decorated the house, got him gifts, a card, made breakfast in bed, booked dinner reservations/or activity. My boyfriend both years has not put in any effort not even getting me flowers or even a card for our anniversary/valentines. This obviously upsets me, and the next day February 15th gets me flowers because I’m upset the day before. This is where I might be the ahole. This year I haven’t planned anything nor booked anything. I bought him a card that’s it. I don’t wanna be the only one putting in effort for our special day anymore. I want to act as if Valentine’s Day is just like any other day, to see if he will do anything. Am I the ahole if I refuse to put in effort anymore for our anniversary/valentines.",AITA if I refuse to plan anything for VALENTINES???,NTA -1117guz,"In my family we are believers on marrying within our religion. I have several friends I am close with outside our religion that I would say I love, but I wouldn't look for a romantic partner outside our community. However, one of my close friends that I have really strong romantic feelings for that I've never acted on told me that she has feelings for me and wants to convert to my religion. I asked her if she only wanted to convert to be in a relationship, because that isn't allowed, and she said no, that she truly wants to practice our faith.When I told my family they were a bit iffy, but my girlfriend and I turned most of them around, and my parents even loaned us money for her classes. However, my brother is very angry and says I am breaking the rules. He said I should have discouraged my girlfriend and told her a relationship between us isn't possible, as that would be the only way to be sure her desire to convert is real and not based on her wanting to be in a relationship with me. It's not my job to vet her desire to convert; the teacher will do that.My brother is very angry with me and says I am disrespecting our faith and culture because of my own selfish desires. He also said if my girlfriend and I ever get married, he won't come to the wedding. I am very upset that my brother is so angry with me, but I don't feel like I did anything wrong. AITA?",AITA for not discouraging my girlfriend from converting to our religion?,NTA -111bsyq,"I (32f) am 16 weeks pregnant with my first child. My husband “Howie” (36m) and I are very excited for this child, especially after having an early miscarriage back in September. One of my biggest fears is weight gain. I’m already not small but not huge, either. I’m smaller than the average sized American woman but could lose about ten to twenty pounds to give you an idea. I was already concerned about my weight before I got pregnant, so now the idea of losing my pre-pregnancy weight on top of whatever I gain now is stressful. Howie wants to lose weight, too. We decided to pick an outfit we’d like to try to fit in again after the baby arrives to meet our weight goal. Howie chose the outfit from the day we met and I chose my wedding dress from our April 2022 wedding. My friend “May” (34f) is getting married to her fiancé “Joe” (37m) in September of this year. I’ve gone with her dress shopping a couple of times but she hasn’t been able to find one that she likes. I discovered over the weekend that the dress she actually wanted was mine, and she was looking for one similar but couldn’t find it. May then asked me if she could borrow mine. I said don’t want my dress altered for any reason because it’s mine, and I made a lot of customizations to it. It truly is my dress, and no one has one like it. But May told me she’s in a bind because there’s not much time to order a dress and have it altered in the time for her wedding. I felt bad but told her no. I don’t want anyone wearing it, period. May kept pressing about it, and I also told her it wasn’t just because it’s mine but because of the weight loss idea my husband and I had. May is two wedding dress sizes larger than me. I also have an hourglass figure where May is more shaped like an apple. No insults, but it’s just how she looks. Plus, my dress still fits me. I’m just anticipating it won’t after giving birth, and I want to make that my weight loss outfit. If I let her borrow it, it would have to be altered so much that it wouldn’t be mine anymore. May told me I had an entire wardrobe to choose from and no one fits their dress after a few years, anyway. She also said that baby weight usually doesn’t go away (she has 2 kids), and that I should be thinking about her wedding. I still said no. But a few minutes ago, I got a text from Howie asking me if I agreed to give her my dress. I said no, and Howie sent me a screenshot from Joe saying Howie can bring my dress over when he gets off work and thanked me for being so generous. So it sounds to me like May told Joe I agreed when I didn’t. Now Joe is angry because he thinks I changed my mind. Howie told him I never agreed. Now May is texting me, asking why I’m so attached to a dress and saying I’m not being a good friend because I’m more interested in a material item than her happiness. But I feel like this is self-explanatory? It’s my dress. The end. Am I insane?",AITA for not wanting to let my friend have my wedding dress?,NTA -1117agy,"My husband (31m) has this childhood friend, M(31m). M married K(32f) a few years back, and they have a 2.5 year old boy, J. The only reason I know (and am friends with) K is through our husbands.Since J turned 1, K has been messaging me about J literally every day. What he’s eating, what he’s doing etc. She sends me pictures and videos of him multiple times a day. When I don’t reply her she just sends me more pictures/ videos.My husband and I have 2 children ourselves, who are 2 and 7 months respectively. I wouldn’t send a friend multiple pictures of my children daily, I don’t understand why she does it?She also messages me about her life decisions, and posts a status on Facebook about her decisions. For example, one day she messaged me “we’re going to try for another baby”, and posted the same thing on Facebook. The next week she told me “we’re not going to have another baby”, and then the week after that she told me “oh we want another baby” and literally the week after that she posted on Facebook about getting her tubes tied. I think it’s fine to change your mind, but somethings should be kept to yourself, shouldn’t it? Also why wouldn’t you make firm decisions and THEN tell people after? She also posts her fights with her husband on Facebook. At this point I think it’s for attention more than anything.I want her daily updates about her “decisions” and her kid to stop, I have 2 kids of my own and I don’t really have the capacity to care about hers. WIBTA if I told her to stop?",WIBTA if I told my friend to stop messaging me about her kid?,NTA -111aaiz,"AITA (F25) for not wanting to let my bf (M33) use my car now that he doesn't have one. It's my first car and I'm financing it so I make payments on it. I don't want him driving it because he's now uninsured, but also because he's just not a good driver. He was in multiple accidents in his last car within the year he had it before it died and he totaled the one he had before that. But It's like I'm expected to let him use it since we're dating and now he doesn't have a means of transportation.",AITA for not wanting to let him use my car,NTA -1119bez,I am in a gay relationship with who my family thinks is my friend they have asked me before if we are more than just friends. I just say no because I don’t trust my family to not be weird or have some stipulation when we hangout at my house. I feel horrible lying. One of my family members said something weird like “you would tell me right? I wouldn’t trust you again if you lied and I’d be hurt that you would do that behind my back” I don’t think that’s fair to me and I don’t really understand what they meant by “behind my back” like what do you want to know all the details? I just feel bad lying but I don’t feel safe coming out. They know I am gay but they don’t know I’m in a relationship. I don’t trust that they won’t switch up or suddenly act weird.My partner has parents that I am sure would disown them if they found out. I don’t want to risk telling my family and them potentially telling their family. That could potentially really ruin her life right now since we both still live at home. I just feel really horrible lying because I do love my family but I don’t think it’s the right time to tell them. Should I feel bad? It’s really weighing on me. Is it wrong to wait until I am ready?,AITA for lying about being gay,NTA -1117san,"Long story short I (22F) have been sick for 6 weeks with a chest infection / wheezy lungs and either haven’t had the time to go to the doctors or the energy. I live with my partner 30M and he started to get sick over a week ago aswell. Today I finally got the chance to head to the doctors and was prescribed a normal inhaler and a steroid inhaler plus two other medications. My whole day was great after that and was super happy to tell my partner about the dr gave me meds to get back to being 100%Later that night when we were both going to bed he asked if he could borrow the steroid inhaler as he obviously had the same cold as me - I told him no as We were sure that it was 100% the same thing and he shouldn’t be taking medication that’s not for him, also how do we know it wouldn’t have bad side affects. (I’ve never had any inhaler in my life whereas he’s got asthma)He said that he doesn’t have time to go to the doctor and it’ll be fine. I then firmly said no again and we started to play wrestle which ended with him getting my steroid inhaler and taking a couple puffs. He gave me back the inhaler after and I walked out of our apartment. Whilst he stormed into the ensuite saying “ I don’t know why it’s such a big deal I won’t touch your fucking inhaler again”. I could hear him walking out after me whilst the elevators doors were closing. Now I’m just walking around at 12 at night whilst it’s raining and I’m starting to feel like the asshole. Maybe I over reacted??",AITA for not wanting to share my inhaler with my BF,NTA -1118j61,"AITA? Strap in. Me, 26, live in a constant state of resentment of my mom. When I was 13 my dad died suddenly and tragically. He had life insurance and at the time my brother, who was 18, recieved 40,000 dollars. He was able to use that money to go to college and finished nearly dept free (community College and some scholarships so it wasn't too expensive.) Me being only 13, the money was left in control by my mom. I went through the next 5 years being under the impression that I would receive that money when I turned 18 to use for college or living expenses, because that is what I had been told in the very beginning. Then when I turned 18 I asked my mom about the life insurance, I wanted to talk about college cost, and she looked at me confused. ""Oh that's all gone."" She told me. I was in disbelief. ""How do you think we took those fun vacations? How did I keep this roof over your head? Food on your plate."" For some context, we were pretty broke most the time. My mom worked full time and I appreciate her hard work. But it also matters that she constantly spend out of our means. She joined an MLM which was like a 5000 start up price, got a fancy car, took us on vacations we didn't need or could afford. If I would have known when I was a teenager that I was paying for these vacations I wouldn't have wanted to take them... so I could pay for college. And she doesn't understand why I am upset. I feel cheated out of the only thing my dad was able to leave for me. AITA that I'm mad and feel cheated out of money that would have really helped me. I wouldn't be in dept if had that money. And no it's not credit card dept, it's medical and student. BTW the she was divorced from the deceased dad for more context.",AITA my mom spend the life insurance my dad left for me.,NTA -1118kdn,"I live at my grandma’s house- a condo. she has a garage connected to her house, and I shared garage down the street. I have been driving her car and parking it in the small garage, she is out of town. we have no need for the other space right now, as I do not own a car. It’s on a crowded city street and the guy in the parking spot next to her’s (in the shared garage) is renovating. His back door is right there. So I told him that while we aren’t parked in that spot, it’s not a big deal for him to use it for construction. He has blocked me a few times with his trucks and trailers, which can be really frustrating. But ultimately, as long as I’m driving grandma’s little car, I can just park in the smaller, more convenient garage. it was only a problem a couple times when I was driving a bigger car because her car was in the shop. well last weekend my boyfriend wanted to stay the night, and it was pretty cold. he asked if he could park in the garage, and I checked, and there was materials there. I told him he had to park on the street. he immediately started yelling at me. “you don’t stick up for yourself”“you let people walk on you”“you’re a cowardly woman” “you’re a bad feminist” because I didn’t confront the man about his stuff being there, but it was 10pm and I didn’t have his phone number. I explained to my boyfriend that 1. this has never been this big of an inconvenience for me until now. there is plenty of street parking. 2. I told the man he could use my spot and 3. verbally insulting me isn’t going to make me a more confident person. I said that I hope he doesn’t really feel that way about mehe eventually got that he was hurting me and trivializing something that doesn’t need to be, but still maintained that I need to contact the neighbor about staying out of that spot. I still feel hurt over this whole situation. I wonder why he snapped at me in such an awful way just because he was slightly inconvenienced by needing to park on the street. in his neighborhood, he always parks on the city street. he doesn’t have a garage. am I missing the big picture and AITA?",AITA for not bothering the neighbor at 11 pm so my boyfriend could have an in-garage parking spot?,NTA -1114408,"Quick backstory:6 years ago I lost my job and because I’m responsible for 80% of the family financial burden, I didn’t tell my wife so as not to panic her. I covered the bills with my credit card etc. I would leave the house, pretending I was going to work then sit a car park, frantically applying for another job. She found out and she was really mad, took her ages to forgive.I found another job and things went back to normal.Now fast forward 6 years… Last October, my working hours were reduced by half, again I didn’t want to panic my wife so I’d work Monday to Wednesday then on Thursday/Friday I’d leave the house pretending I was in work while looking for another 5-day job. Also I lost my mother in the same month. Anyway my wife found out that I wasn’t in work on Thursdays/Fridays and she’s mad that I lied to her. She had to help me cover the mortgage for January as I was struggling (I’d paid the mortgage all by myself non stop for 8 years)Now I have a new job, better pay too which will start next week. However my wife said she couldn’t forgive me because I lied to her twice in the course of our marriage.I was thinking that I lied so as not to panic her and it’s not like I’m having an affair. I don’t see the big deal with my lie. Am I really the AH here? I’ve never cheated and the only lies I told were about the loss of my job (on two occasions) Nothing else. Please give me your honest critique of the situation.",AITA for lying to my wife when I lost my job?,YTA -1118lqn,"Let’s start from the very beginning. Over 20 years ago I divorced from my then wife. I had two kids with her; my oldest son and my youngest daughter. I always had a very good relationship with my son. He was my one and only. At age seventeen, my son moved in with me and my girlfriend. I always tried to get my daughter to move in, too, but she refused. I tried to make it nice for us. But soon I realized that having another mouth to feed was emptying my bank account faster than I could see. I soon jumped from workplace to workplace and asked all my friends for money, which I barely was able to pay back.So I started asking my son for money. He paid for groceries here and there over the years, then he helped me with some bills and even got a credit card on his name for us to use, since I couldn’t get one due to my debt. It went well for a bunch of years. But still, my money was always on the low. I forgot to pay my car insurance for a few months and they ended my contract. So, I created a new one with my son’s name on it. I asked him of course, as always, so he always knew what he was getting himself into. Soon, he moved out and moved in with his girlfriend. She was a very nice girl. Or so I thought.He soon asked me to pay him back some money, since he now had some credit card debt. He did the math and it summed up to around $10,000. I really didn’t have that kind of money and he knew that. He soon went no contact.He visited me and we talked normally for some time. Then he started asking me for my car; he asked me if I could give him my car, so he could sell it to pay off his debts. I told him no, immediately. I needed the car for my new job, since it was in the neighboring city. He told me to take the train and bus and that there were cheap tickets any my job could help me get a permanent ticket. I told him that I couldn’t do that.That was at the end of 2021. I told him if I didn’t have the money for his debt until January of 2022, he could have the car. After that conversation, he went no contact. January came and I didn’t have the money. I really couldn’t bring it up and I told him that. He asked about my promise and the car, but I know I didn’t promise him anything. I told him I still need the car. We had a long fight over the phone in which his girlfriend said, that a loving father wouldn’t do something like that to his son, with which she meant all the money I ""took"" from him. And with that statement, she was dead to me.I got diagnosed with depression due to the situation. I do regret my mistakes but I think he made me suffer enough. I miss my son but until he apologizes for treating me like this, I don’t want to have anything to do with him either. I feel so torn. My daughter isn’t there for me either.AITA?Tldr: I refused to give my son my car to pay off his debt, blaming me for everything, even though he always knew what he’s getting himself into and now doesn’t talk to me. AITA?",AITA for not giving my son my car to pay off his debt?,YTA -111a9w4,"A few weeks ago I (24) had a friend (J/M/24) who offered me a gift from their job that was going to throw it away. I said I might be able to use it for a project I was planning. This was in the middle of the week and I gladly accepted. At the end of the week our friend group went out for dinner where our friend P(F/24) joined us. At the dinner table J had said they had offered the same gift to multiple people but they had multiple versions of it so everyone will get something. P said they were excited about the gift J had offered me and how much they were texting them about it. J didn’t say anything and P didn’t say anything about owning the gift so I just kinda didn’t think anything of it in the moment. After dinner we go back to another friends house to hang out, J comes up to me and asks me if I want to go with him to get the gift he offered out of his car. I had brought it up at the beginning of the night but hadn’t said anything to him at this point. We go to the car and I get the gift when I come back in, P runs up to me and says “Haha thanks for getting my gift for me!” And I say “Haha yeah…but it’s mine.” P then asks “I can’t tell if you’re being serious?” To which i reply “I am being serious” in a serious tone. J feels awkward and says “I had offered it to a bunch of people but I have others” P backs off and we go through the rest of our night. I still talk with P and joke and offer to hang out later in the weekend to which they said they’d be down. I eventually leave and go home. Then at 1 in the morning they text me saying “I didn’t like how you spoke to me earlier, it was really embarrassing”, it’s 1 am at this point and I’m tired so I decide not to reply as any convo we have at this point is not going to be productive. The next day I explain to them that I didn’t say anything out of pocket or disrespect them to which they say “But it was your tone, you spoke to me like a dog” which I felt was a GROSS exaggeration when I had said two sentences to her.This makes me upset and I say “Your valid to be upset about how it went down but I did not speak to you like you were a dog, I’m not spending my Saturday morning fighting about this, have a great rest of your day” which I admit might be the wrong way of going about it. I then check with my friends, we had some drinks (I had 1) so maybe I’m misremembering or maybe it came off meaner than I should’ve, after talking to two of them they said I wasn’t rude and although it was a serious tone it was no where near what P was saying. They then also tell me that after everyone had left aside from one friend and J (around 3 am). P texts J multiple paragraphs about me being rude, speaking to her like a dog, asking for the gift, and apologizing on my behalf. J felt awkward but says that they gave the gift to me and there’s not much they can do about it. Now (on their own volition) our friend group is excluding P from events and not responding to their invite requests.",AITA for telling a friend I wasn’t joking?,NTA -1118xs9,"For context, I (F21) moved out of my parents home 5 months ago. At the same time, my dad left the family home and my parents started the process of a divorce. He did not take all of this clothes and personal items with him so a few things were left behind. They are on bad terms so they will not see eachother. Yesterday my dad texted me asking if I would be able to collect his remaining clothes and anything else that was his from the house. I agreed because I understand that if he went, it would cause an argument and not end very well. Following this, I texted my mum letting her know I would be collecting his clothes soon and asked if she knew where they all were. She said she had put them all in a charity bag and they were collected on Friday. I honestly became extremely angry and I said it was wrong and she should never throw another person's things away without trying to return them and she knows that I would have returned them for her. She said that no one told her what to do with them, there wasn't much of it and because he doesn't wear the stuff she threw away it doesn't matter. As a result I did have a go at her and I will be going to the charity shop to pay for and retrieve my dad's clothes as some of them hold high sentimental value for him. My sister (f31) became involved and sided with my mum, saying its been 5 months and it's not fair for her to keep hold of the stuff. But my mum never asked what she should do with it. She told me I have turned into a 'c***' and called me a 'spoon fed b****' so I temporarily blocked her from messaging me to end the argument.This morning, my mum accidentally sent me a text that meant to go to someone else saying that my sisters had disowned me and that I've turned into a 'full blown b****'. Bear in mind, this whole time I never called either my mum or my sister names, and my other sister (f33) was not involved at all but according to the text, she has disowned me too.I spoke to my dad and he understands but asked me to leave it alone, so I have but I'm struggling to let the name calling go. I've summarised it here but it's quite a long story. AITA? Should I have had a go at my mum for throwing away dad's clothes?Edit: I probably should have clarified. The house my mum is in belongs to my dad. As things are extremely rocky between them, he has been unable to collect them himself and even now if he went there it would very likely cause issues.",AITA for standing up to my mum for throwing dad's things away?,NTA -111c4h6,"* My parents have been divorced for twelve years. They split when I was four, my brother two. Mom got custody. Dad pays his dues faithfully as far as I know.* My father makes much more money than mom does. * About five years ago, mom remarried a fantastic man who's like a cool uncle more than a father figure. My father has been in a lot of relationships but never settled down until now.* Four months ago, my father told me about a 24 y.o. woman (let's say Rachel). They're getting married next month.* I like Rachel. She's lovely. Not cold or conceited at all. She's made an attempt to get to know me and my brother. She texts me to see how I'm doing, sent me gifts and chocolate on my last birthday. She treats my father well, too. * Mom has said some mean stuff about Rachel. *Golddigger, Man Goblin*, etc. She discouraged me from carrying a pretty bag Rachel bought me, told me it was an old lady's bag that Rachel probably bought it with leftover money from the weekly shopping spree money my father gave her. * My mom is no stranger to trashtalking my dad. I truly think she has earned the right to say mean things about my father and his company - she is allowed to be mad. He didn't want custody of us, my mother sacrifices alot to raise us while he lives it up with every pretty face he can find.* Mom has never seemed to have many problems with my father's past partners.* Rachel found out cause she messaged me asking if mom's been talking trash. I didn't go into much detail but I did tell her some things. * Apparently they had a fight over the phone soon after.* Mom thinks I told on her. I tried to convince her I didn't, even going to the point of showing her screenshots of the messages. She still doesn't believe that's it. She says she knows Rachel and I are besties (we're not), we talk on the phone and I must have slipped up. * My little brother won't be going to the wedding. (He's mom's baby and will go with whatever she says.) She says I am free to make my own decisions since I have more memories of my father but she assumes I'm more loyal to her and won't go if she's not going/she disapproves.* I am going. Mom is unhappy about this decision, and now I don't know if I should go.* I feel like I'm going more for Rachel than for my father. I barely have any relationship with him. He's like a well-known stranger to me.* I want to go to that wedding. Just to experience it. My cousin sisters from my father's side of the family will be there and it'll be fun to hang out.* I really chummed it up with Rachel when mom doesn't like her. We're not close at all but mom has certainly made it seem that way. I feel like I'll be betraying her more by going. I mean, mom has given up alot to raise me and my brother compared to my father and I'm disobeying her wishes by going. AITA?",AITA for planning to go to my stepmother-to-be's wedding even though my mom disagrees?,NTA -1117snf,"So I (17nb) currently have my sister (24m) mad at me. We both live with our parents, me because I'm still a teenager, him because he can't hold down a job. Earlier today, my brother came home angry, and stormed off to his room while telling us to ""leave him alone"" when we asked what was up. Well, judging by his cryptic-ass Instagram story, I figured out that his girlfriend (20f) had broken up with him.I have a pretty decent friendship with his ex, so I reached out to find out what happened. It turns out he'd cheated on her with one of his friends. I knocked on his door and asked if this was true. He admitted he'd slept with another girl, but started complaining that it wasn't a big deal because she ""wasn't even hot like that,"" I told him he was being gross, and went to my room.Here's where he thinks I was the AH. A new album by a band called Paramore came out last week, and I've been listening to it non-stop. They're really cool, and I decided to see what their other albums are like. They have one called ""Riot"" that had a cool cover, so I started listening to it in my room.Welp, there's a song called ""That's What You Get"" which is the second song on the album. It's really catchy, and I started singing along to the chorus the second time it came around. Next thing I know, my brother is banging on my door telling me to shut it off because I'm ""clearly playing it to make fun of him."" I wasn't, but I can see how he could think that. AITA?","AITA for being ""catty with my music choice?""",NTA -11196pv,I (25F) and my boyfriend (28M) just got our first place about 6 months ago with our son (2M). Before then we were living with his mom and his sister at his moms house. I moved into their house right after our son was born so that we could all be together as my parents won’t let my boyfriend move into their house for sake of their own comfortability with having someone outside of the family living there. Anyway fast forward to now. We’ve been in the apartment for 6 months and it’s been really hard. We were barely paying rent and sometime even not paying it. I went into a deep depression. (I’m diagnosed bipolar and had really bad postpartum depression and still feel that sometimes) because of this he was staying home from work a lot to to care for me and our son. Money was just not coming in and making the situation worse. Basically we are now being asked to leave our place. My boyfriends mom is willing to take us back but what she doesn’t know is how horrible I felt living there. She has this habit of making me feel like the outsider even after welcoming me into her home. She would constantly make comments about how I’m not taking care of my son or her son enough and how much he does for me. Just passive aggressive belittling of me and our relationship. I talked to my boyfriend and told him I was uncomfortable with being back with his mom and he told me if I went back to my parents I would be more miserable because we wouldn’t be together. I finally told him that being that I’ve been so depressed to begin with going into that environment will not be good for me and I need to do this for my own sanity. At that point he understood and agreed though obviously not happily. Now when I mentioned this to his mother she was more upset than he was. Saying how my boyfriend will never see our son and won’t be sleeping in the same room like he’s gotten so used to and it’s not fair of me to take him away like that. I haven’t told his mom the real reason I don’t want to be there because I don’t need the drama that will ensue when I do. My parents are obviously supportive of the idea of me coming home with my son. Also his mom has even offered to give up her larger bedroom and take the smaller one so we can all fit in the bigger one more comfortably. AITA here? I never put myself first so I have no idea.,AITA for taking my son to my parents house instead of staying with my boyfriend?,NTA -1114bq5,"Today I (17m) found out that my friend group (consists of me and four other people, 22m, 21m, 20m, and 18m) planned a road trip to Disneyland, Las Vegas, and Phoenix without me in advance for April (I’ve graduated high school already, so I can travel without worrying about school). When I heard them talking about it, I asked them how come I never heard of their plans. They said that they already booked the tickets and thought I wouldn’t “have enough money for it”. (I do have enough for it and it really hurts my feelings) I am really considering dropping this group. Help me out here?",AITA for getting angry at my friend group for planning a trip without me?,NTA -1117qzx,"Hey everyone,Before anything I should mention that I have a girlfriend. Today I was studying in my university when this girl come and ask me for help with a computer problem. After helping her we start to chat a bit and I find out she's new here. So I thought I might as well show her the rest of the building. Then I told her I gotta buy a gift for valentines day and that since she's new to the town she can come along and I will show her a bit of the city. We come to the point where I have to take my train back home and she ask me if I use WhatsApp to which I reply oh yes if you want I can give you my phone number in case you need more help. She also tells me we could have a lunch together once and I said perhaps yes (knowing I probably wouldn't or at least not just her and me cause that would be disrespectful toward my gf.Now when I came back home I decided to be transparent and told everything to my gf. She got really really mad. She asked me to block that girl which I first refused but seeing how much it affected her, I told her ""okay but then you let me tell her it's because you don't want me to talk with her"". She said no, that I was mean to her and that I knew what I did wrong. I really love my gf and I know talking with other girls might be badly seen but I really don't care about this girl nor do I want anythinh romantic with her. So am I the asshole, if yes what should I do to pay myslef back?Edit: one of the very first thing I said was that I had a gf and that I was going to buy a valentine gift for her.Edit2: since people seemed confuse: I went to buy a valentine gift for my gf (the shop was closed sadly)",AITA for refusing to block this girl's number,YTA -1118tai,"Hi all,My friend (lets call her Sabrina) and I live \~1 hour apart and we make plans to visit e/o every few months.For the past 5 plans, she's been cancelling on me 1-5 days beforehand.She always gives me a reason for cancelling and the reason is always out of her control/requires her to deal with the situation immediately. For ex, past reasons: 1. Her mom travelling back from abroad/being in distress from travelling, thus needing Sabrina to travel back to our home city (about 4 hours away) to support her, 2. Her mom’s relative passing away, resulting in her mom being distress, thus needing Sabrina to travel back home to support her, 3. her friend living abroad having problems that need to be tended to by Sabrina immediately. The previous time she visited, she said that’s he would be staying for the whole weekend and ended up being picked up by her BF the next morning.Each time, I have been fully supportive/understanding— always responding to her last minute cancellation with “I’m so sorry that you’re dealing with this, please don’t worry about cancelling, lets just do this some other time, let me know what I can do to help!”THIS time, she said she missed mandatory school days (for medical reasons) and was flagged, so she must explain this to the institution. In this case, Sabrina is the one who booked the trip—she did so without asking me first and only told me about it after booking her bus tickets. I told her I could make it work so that her (non-refundable) tickets do not get wasted. Also, since her cancelling has become a pattern, and b/c my parents wanted to visit the same weekend, I confirmed with her 1 week prior that there were no changes, and she agreed. I don't expect any friend to always hang out with me. ALL I ask is that she adheres to the plans she makes OR gives me some advanced notice when she plans to cancel. For context, I’m an MD/PhD student. I genuinely have to work overtime during the week--like, work myself to the bone, to accommodate any fun weekend, completely free of work.I never questioned her cancellations before but lately, I feel like she's making things up--her reasons make less sense each time. I'm not very easily upset but this has been happening for months. I politely explained that I understand her decision to cancel but that I have been feeling hurt/frustrated by this happening constantly. I said that I sometimes feel as though she is just making excuses (I didn’t say that this was the absolute truth, I said that this is how I FEEL given the timing, the frequency + the reasoning for her cancellations) and that I would appreciate it if she'd a) not make plans unless she knew she'd adhere to them or b) give me earlier notice b/c it takes a lot for me to make plans happen. She responded with “I understand how hurt/frustrated you feel--it was a last min decision and we BOTH worked to make the plan happen” I feel like she doesn't understand/care and is not upset. AITA? Should I just have let it go?THANK YOU!",AITA for expressing my feelings of hurt/frustration to a friend who always cancels on me last minute?,NTA -111apg6,"My aunts mother on my dads side passed away. We were an extremely tight knit family, but neither her nor her children have had contact with me due to an old situation (I was addict for while and never did anything to them personally, I’ve been sober some time but they have since totally cut me out of there lives, they even try to avoid my parents whenever possible) I stopped trying to figure out “why” a long time ago, I don’t invite them to any of my gatherings, they don’t invite me to theirs..Even though my dad says I should keep trying, I don’t see the point, they seem to have made up there minds. I still feel it’s ‘morally responsible’ to at the very least send a card. I was just going to write our names (myself, my husband, our son) at the end of the card without adding any personal notes or touches, but then I thought that might seem a little cold. Maybe I should add a little note? Is it appropriate to even send the card? Or should I just let bygones be bygones & avoid the whole situation like they’ve avoided me. I’m afraid not sending the card might make the situation worse, but then again there doesn’t seem to be any way to make it better, and I don’t want a card from me during a tough time to dredge up even more negative feelings toward myself and my parents. I don’t mind them judging me, frankly I deserve judgement, but I really feel bad for my dad, whose own brothers family seems to avoid him whenever possible, he didn’t do anything wrong & they used to be close. AITA for thinking no card & no contact might be better for everyone involved?",AITA for not being sure about sending a sympathy card to estranged family,NTA -11185sv,"I (28M) have 2 friends (26/27F) that I’ve known for around 7 years now and we’ve always got on well and never really had any issues with each other. We are from the same town, but around 2020 I moved an hours drive away from that town for work. Shorty after they both started teaching jobs in the nearby city, about a half hours drive from town, so in total we are around 1 and a half hours drive from each other. I didn’t drive until recently (passed my test in November and got my car at the start of Feb). They both drive. Since 2020 we have only seen each other (all of us) a handful of times, which I put down to just starting no chapters of our lives, being so far away, and covid. Usually these visits would occur if I would visit family in my hometown and they’d happen to be free and we would usually just go for an evening meal and a brief catch-up. The two of them however would regularly meet, which I don’t hold against them, as they live so close and I am not that convenient to visit. I would occasionally get invites although due to the nature of my work I could rarely attend (my weekends and evenings are usually taken up, whereas they work school hours). This never bothered me and I took it as it was.However, since I got my new car and I’m able to travel more easily, I suggested that we do something during the half term and have a drive out somewhere. They agreed and said it would be a good idea and they were excited to see me and the car. Half term comes around so I ask them what they had in mind. They then both say they’re not available except for Friday evening (which they know I am not available because of work). They no longer have any days of half term free to meet and they suggested going for a meal the week after (no longer half term) during a weekday evening. At first I was on board with just doing this and understood that sometimes we are just busy. However, it then came out that they had driven out for the day (not far from where I moved to). I never received an invite, and I was left feeling like an afterthought that they will only ever be willing to spare an hour to see me if it’s mostly on their terms. AITA for not wanting to go for a meal with them?",AITA for not wanting to meet my friends,NTA -111cbnz,"I'm from Kazakhstan. About 30% of us (myself included) are ethnically Russian. Most people in Kazakhstan speak Russian and many Kazakhs don't speak Kazakh. Kazakh is more popular in the south and in rural regions. Its rare for Russians to actually speak Kazakh, I do so a lot of people are shocked. Most young Russians have some limited knowledge of Kazakh from school since we are forced to learn it. I was at a mall and I walked past a store and the alarm went off. The security guard asked if he can check my purse. I said ok and he wen trhoguh and saw i didnt steal anything. Someone asks him in Kazakh ""did she have anything?"" and he responds back with ""no she didn't, maybe i should've checked her underwear"" and they both laugh. I respond back in Kazakh and say ""are you fucking serious? that is so fucking rude. You are a pig"" His buddy laughs at him more and he apologizes profusely saying he didn't mean it like that. I walk over to someone who i thought was a manager and I told him what happened. He yelled at him saying he needs to stop doing this shit and he's going to cause them to lose business and that kazakhs need to learn how to respect women and stop being savages or something (he looked Russia). He yelled back saying not to disrespect his culture and the manager then said he'd fire him if he didn't shut the fuck up and if he did this again so the Kazakh guy went quiet. Some of my friends say i didnt need to do this because some men are just like that espeically in kazakh culture and some of my friends justified it because htey talk about men like that too and i wasn't supposed to hear it. I said htey should jsut learn to respect people. What do you all think?",AITA for reporting someone for making inappropriate comments about me in another language?,NTA -1116k9y,"I (F30) have 3 siblings: F28, F20 & M20, the latter ones are twins.F30, F28 and F20 are employed and are living our own lives. M20 hasn’t got a streamlined CV, but should have started a new apprenticeship to drive heavy vehicles. A few days before it should have started, M20 was reported to the police for driving while being drunk. There was no accident whatsoever. However, he lost his drivers license for more than a year, and with it, the chance to drive big vehicles. After that, his girlfriend left him for good (which everyone in the family is happy about, because he dodged a bullet). Now He’s devastated, but trying hard (got an alternative job and going there by bicycle).Here’s the thing:All 4 siblings planned a siblings vacation before the incident occurred. We haven’t booked anything yet. Now F28 and I do not want to fly on vacation with him. F20 says, M20 did not hurt us personally, hence we should not punish him. Also our mom wants us to put the bad feelings aside, because he is doing so well and was hurt so bad by his gf.In the past M20 received lots of support from the family. But he has a habit of being all words, improving things a tiny bit until the „next big thing“ happens. (Ex: I lent him my apartment to stay there for his work and he made a mess. My parents had to got there to help him clean up because he couldn’t do it)In this situation I do not intend to go on sibling vacation. He should prove, that he can go a marathon, not a sprint. Also, I don’t want to reach out and do the first step. However, I wouldn’t push him back if he were to reach out to me, but he’s responsible for doing the first step even though he is in a bad place because of his girlfriend and his actions with the drivers license. I explained my point of view to F20 and our mother. Both disagree with F28 and me. On that matter my mom even hung up on me, because I wasn’t taking “M20 side” enough and he is devastated due to his girlfriend. Am I the asshole for not being more supportive, for not reaching out and for not wanting to do a siblings vacation as originally planned?",AITA for not being supportive enough to my brother?,YTA -1118qag,"I(female 32 work at ups) enjoy my job until they hire new people, I have been working at ups for 3 and half years about to be four in upcoming October, I work from 3-9 am part time during peak season I can be from 1 am to 9 or 10 am depending the loads of work we get. we got this new worker we will call him Babyboy because I don't know how to spell his name, his mother got him the job and he gets away with everything because she is a driver.&#x200B;he is constantly on his phone texting or running up and down the line to show people what's on his phone instead of sorting the packages.&#x200B;I got furious and said I don't wanna be here all day, I got stuff to do and get off your phone! he got pissed off because I told him what to do because the supervisor that hates me doesn't do jack, BTW I am also an alternate shop steward for my building besides being a preloader/scanner.&#x200B;he said you can't tell me what to do and proceeded to do whatever he wanted to do on the floor, i have made reports about him to supervisors and nothing was done.&#x200B;he does this constantly and nobody tells him to get off his phone, I just want to hurry up and head home for the day to relax and get some sleep or play some video games.&#x200B;so AITA OR WIBTA FOR WANTING TO FINISH AT A DECENT TIME SO I CAN GO HOME AND NAP?",AITA OR WIBTA for my coworkers slowing down work or letting the work get backed up at my job? I just want to finish at a decent time to get home and nap depending the hours I have worked,NTA -11143gc,"For some context, my mother is a wonderful woman who has kindly allowed my (30f) partner (38m) to live with us until his IVA is cleared and we can get our own place, as we keep getting rejected. We are extremely grateful she has given us this opportunity, especially as we have his daughter every other weekend who she makes an effort with.We agreed to split everything down the middle and according to my mother, we all pay the same towards the house. There have been a few occasions in anger where she tells us she pays for everything and our contribution is nothing, then often flips back to saying we all paying an equal share. My partner and I would like to see the cost of everything, rent bills etc, so we can ascertain exactly what everything is costing so we can actually pay an equal share of everything and not have our contribution being held against us in anger anymore. I'm apprehensive to ask as I don't want her to feel like we are accusing her of anything but we find it odd how she tells us she is struggling but manages to go on at least 2 holidays a year and has consistent packages turning up for her from amazon. We haven't mentioned this.I did ask her once when she accused me of not contributing enough but she said she couldn't find the last bill for the electricity and she was too tired to look that night.I really don't want to accuse her of anything as she has done so much for us and I would have no problem paying her more for this, but I don't like having these things held against me, as it seems to come up whenever she is upset about something irrelevant.Would it be wrong to ask to see the outgoings? We are both happy to pay more as its her house and she is doing us a huge favour, we just don't want this to keep coming up.",WIBTA for asking my mother to see the monthly outgoings for our home?,NTA -111b0fx,"I'm married and I work (I'm training to be a doctor and receive a low income). It can be different in other countries, but I will be fully qualified in 2025 and then my salary will shoot up and we'll probably be very well off. My wife is unemployed, but it's not her fault and she's trying very hard to get a job (I feel really sorry for her actually). I think she'll one day succeed, but it's hard and it may take a while. She would literally clean floors for money if she could, but she can't because there are other factors that I don't feel comfortable sharing here.My parents let us live in their house until we have money to move out. I have good savings and want to use it for a house deposit, but no bank will give us a mortgage until our combined salary is better. Meanwhile, I save money by not renting, so I give some money to my wife and save the rest for the deposit. We live quite well in terms of food, travel etc. because of no rent.The problem is that my mother is insane and a bully. She has been yelling a lot and trying to provoke my wife for no reason. We argue often, especially when I stand up for my wife. My father is on our side too, but it's not like he can help us much because my mother doesn't listen to anyone. It's a long story, but my mother is completely deranged.My wife has had enough (it's been a year of suffering) and says we need to move out and rent asap. We're both losing sleep and hair, also it's stressful and puts a huge strain on our marriage. It's also hard to work with this stress, but I somehow manage. My wife also says it's easier for me because it's my own mother, but for her it's a near stranger being super toxic to her all the time. My wife says I'm lucky to have a job I can go to, while she stays home and has to face my mother (she voluntarily stays home to clean and tidy up while I work, because she wants to contribute, even though nobody expects her to).I was open to moving out, so we looked for rentals and they're too expensive. On my income, we'd need to rent a literal box with a folding bed or live very far out. To break even, we'd need to live a VERY low quality of life, which I don't think will happen with my wife - more likely we'll burn my hard earned savings which are meant for a house deposit. We can't move far out of the city, because of my work.My wife still thinks that this is our health and I need to agree for us to move out and rent asap, even if it means burning my savings. I have said that I won't do it and we can only move out when our spending power is better. Her family and friends all think I am in the wrong and being stingy about something important. I'm under huge pressure here, but am still standing my ground.My wife acknowledges that it's my money and my choice and that she won't get mad at me for choosing what to do with my own money, but it seems like everyone is holding it against me anyway.AITA?",AITA for not agreeing with my wife for us to move out of my parents' house asap?,YTA -111ayve,"My (15) friend (16) decided to message in a small group chat out of the blue at night asking who he was and what he was doing there. Thing is, he went through surgery for his lungs and a lot of major life changes in the span of a few months (moving countries, changing schools, etc.), hence my concern. I asked him multiple times if he was joking, and if he was, he was making me really worried. He told me he was really confused and that he really didn't know who he was. I messaged him privately and told him to tell me if it was really serious so that I know if I should really ask for help. He simply asked for a ""trigger"" so I gave him an extremely cut down version of what changed majorly. I was going to ask for help and call him up. Later in the conversation, I found out that he was simply joking. At that point, I was already crying because I know a lot of people in my life that have passed away due to illnesses/complications. Eventually those in the group chat figured out he was joking and that he was alright. I blew up at him asking him why he did that and he simply said he didn't think it through. Those in the group chat realized the jig quickly and apparently I was the only one who was actually concerned/overreacting. Currently, he's asking for forgiveness. Reddit, AITA for getting mad at my friend because of a prank?",AITA for blowing up at my friend over a joke?,NTA -1119op5,"We were a group of four playing a card game, codenames if you've heard of it. I had explained the rules and set up the board, and was asked to go first. Upon doing so, I misread the map and gave clues to the other side. One person on the other team didn't allow an undo in the error, and no one else said anything, which shocked me because it was an easygoing game and my teammate had been okay with undoing mistakes in previous games. And then on their turn, they gave clues that were guessed correctly. At the start of my next turn, having no motivation to continue playing because the game was basically over (down 5-0), I simply gave more clues to the winning team. My teammate was shocked and confused and the other team was upset as well. I did it again for the final round, which was simply one guess to end the game. Am I the asshole or was it someone else? Edit based on comments: I did ask for a restart to the game, did concede the round, and did explain that the game was functionally over, but they insisted on playing it through anyway.",AITA Board Game Mistake Unforgiven,YTA -11141q9,"On mobile sorryFor background info: my bf(M25) has a brother(M26) who has been borrowing money from people and never paying it back. He also stole money from his own mother multiple times and all she did was cry. However everytime his brother got involved in some mess his mom would pay back what he owed to others.The issue: My father is retired and my mom is working still but they decided to rent a house from my bf's mother. For this month my dad didn't pay rent and the reason is because bf's brother asked if my father can help pay his car. My dad agreed and said as part of payment he can be the one to pay the rent. Obviously rent time comes and bf's mother hasn't received the rent, she calls and my dad tells her that her son (bfs brother) should've paid already. She gets angry and starts crying because he's never gonna pay it back. My father felt bad and paid the rent anyways but now he's out of $5k usd. Bf's mother said she doesn't care what happens anymore because it's between those two, me and my boyfriend are arguing because I said it's her fault because the brother has been doing this for years just different people. I said she always bails him out on everything and he doesn't learn because he knows she will handle it. My boyfriend said stop blaming his mom because it's his brother fault. I want my dad to get his money back especially because I'm still in college and he's helping to pay my tuition. If bf's brother doesn't pay back, I want the mom to pay it back.So AITA for blaming my bf's mother for his brother's behavior and wanting her to pay back the $5k usd.",AITA For blaming my boyfriend's mother for her son's behavior,YTA -111c3rm,"So my mom's throwing a reunion party or something like that. Weekends are my relax days. And I have lots of stuff to do -- in zoom class till 1pm, another class at 3pm, and so on. Was it wrong of me not to come out of my room all day and greet the guests?I've known some of the aunties for a long time, and apparently they were asking about me. But it's like..I only know them because my mom dragged me to their parties/reunion days when I was younger too. What I did was just assume that out of sight, out of mind..I wouldn't need to have anything to do with the party if I just kept out of their way, as my social energy was exhausted from other stuff that happened earlier in the week, and our house is kind of small, so it was really kind of crowded. But apparently what I did was really rude, and my mom said she ""needed"" to send an apology text afterwards, cause I made her look bad. I mean I'm not really the star of the show, but whatever. So I want to know, was I in the wrong here? I would say that most of the time, the kids of the aunties (who may be already adults) don't even show up, from what I've seen. But sometimes they do.",AITA for not coming out of my room and greeting my parent's guests?,YTA -111bxz0,"Everyone involved in this situation is in our early 20s. I'm a woman and I'm currently in recovery from an eating disorder. I've gained a lot of weight and I'm self-conscious about it. My friends are supportive overall but it seems like they forget it's still an issue because I gained weight and eat normally. There is another person in my friendship group who is also recovering from an ED. He's a guy roughly the same age as me. Its not his fault but I find him very triggering. He actually is working on recovery and has gained a lot of weight but he's still thinner now than i was at my worst. I don't fully understand why (I'm cisgender and don't want to look like a man) but I'm very jealous of him. He's smaller and prettier than me so maybe the fact that he's a man makes it worse. It destroys me any time I see a photo with both of us in it. No one understands why I find him so triggering and when I confided in one of my best friends they said he has a totally different body type so of course we look different. That didn't help. I tried making more effort with my appearance when I knew he'd be there to make myself more confident but it didn't work because it just reminded me that he gets to look the way I wish I could with absolutely no effort. I kind of resent him which I know isn't fair. He doesn't say or do anything to trigger me on purpose. The friends who I have opened up to have tried to get me to have sympathy for him but I'm so jealous I can't. I've started avoiding him when I can and excluding him if I'm arranging something. He already avoiding anything involving food and although we have the same group of friends we aren't that close individually so I didn't think it was that noticeable. The friends who I'd opened up to figured our what I was doing and didn't agree with it. One of them said I was ""punishing"" him for being underweight which I don't think is fair. I just can't be around him without feeling terrible about myself. The reason I'm asking is because I recently got called out for not inviting him to my birthday at the end of the month. I have planned something quite big that people have been talking about and I guess it was obvious that he was the only one i didn't ask. He didn't confront me directly but apparently he's hurt and embarrassed. Some of our friends are turning on me and saying they won't go either. I understand why he's hurt and I'm sorry about that but he's too triggering for me to be around and I don't want to feel like shit about myself on my own birthday.",AITA for excluding someone who triggers my ED?,YTA -111bpqj,"Today was supposed to be my day off, but my manager asked me a few days ago to come in for a four hour shift. I agreed, because it was supposed to be four hours. Now she wants me in two hours earlier and I live forty minutes away from my job, and going in drastically cuts my day. I didn’t have plans, but it takes a lot of energy for me to get ready (I have ADHD so normally “easy” tasks take more effort for me) and I had mentally prepared to go in later. My job is seriously understaffed and I assume someone else called out. I work retail. WIBTA if I don’t go in early? I have to decide in half an hour or so.",WIBTA if I don’t go in early for my shift?,NTA -1113sc4,So I 16 yr old female and dad 45 male where at my house and he was helping me set up my computer after which he started baking and I asked several times please don’t blow it at me and he continued to blow the smoke at me I asked him again to stop as I was starting to cough and wasn’t feeling well (I didn’t say that) he then said that I’m the adult and I can do whatever I want and he kept doing it so I told him to stop fu cking blowing smoke in my face. He got mad at me told me to grow up and that back in his day adults would chainsmoke in the car for hours with the windows up also it’s was a nicotine vape (which is illegal where I am),AITA for telling my dad to f*k off for blowing his vape in my face,NTA -1114qms,"I (33F) made my husband (43M) go to dinner with my friend (30M) and I at Texas Roadhouse on Saturday night. My husband just sat at the table with his head in his hands sleeping for the entire meal. When we got back to the house, my friend asked what was the point of making my husband go to dinner with us if all he did was sleep at the table. I stated that he could afford to spend a meal with me, his wife, since he has not done anything with me for over a month (because he has been hanging out with the neighbors every weekend off for the past month or going to social gatherings as a means to unwind and de-stress from work) and I didn't see him complain of being tired when he was out drinking with the neighbors earlier in the day for over 4 hours. I am currently 35 weeks pregnant, so I usually don't go to hang out with him because it always involves drinking which I cannot partake at the moment. My friend pointed out that there was literally no difference in having my husband present or letting him stay at home to sleep because he did absolutely nothing. I told my friend that this is a hill I am willing to die on since he hasn't made time for us and our marriage. My husband has been spending more and more of his time off either catching up on sleep or having fun with the neighbors instead. I am currently working from home until I have our baby. While I am working from home, I do all of the house chores, grocery shopping, cooking and packing my husband's lunch every day before he goes to work. After I have the baby, I will have to return to travel projects of 10 days travel, 4 days off. I want to spend time with my husband while it is still the 2 of us before the chaos of keeping another human alive or before I have to return to work travel. I have communicated my feelings multiple times over the past 2 months with my husband. He says that he will do more things with me or that he will do this or help with that but it always ends up being left as a chore untouched for weeks until I cave and end up doing it myself (putting away the Christmas tree in February, giving the dogs a bath and grooming them, doing the oil change, cleaning out the garage, etc). AITA for making my husband go to dinner when he said he was too tired after drinking? Reasons I would be TA: I made my husband go to dinner when he stated he didn't want to go to dinner and was tired.Edit: After reading some of the comments, there are a couple of things I should clarify: 1) My friend came over to my house to work on his car because he can't do car work at his apartment complex. I have all of the tools he needs at my house. He came over around dinner time, so I invited him to dinner.2) I do go to hang outs with my husband and neighbors if the location isn't just a bar or has some type of distraction like top golf, arcade, bowling, etc. If it's at a neighbor's house, I go when their wives are home and also are entertaining guests like Friendsgiving, Christmas, New Years or karaoke night.",AITA for making my husband go to dinner with my friend and I?,YTA -11128ad,"Me(M 17) and my friend Jay (M 18) share a trading account which we both put money in to swing/day trade with. Ever since last year, I've been learning how to do profitable investments, and I managed to have a sum of money greater than what i had started with after being down quite a bit, so I was very proud of the earnings I had accumulated. Jay, on the other hand, treats the banking account as if it were a game and makes trades based on gut instincts. He is not the best trader.One day, after having gotten lucky with his trades the day before, he gets really cocky after having heard something about a stock and puts all the money from the account, including mine, into that stock thinking there was absolutely no way he could be wrong. After the days he was waiting for had passed, the opposite of what he thought was going to happen happened, and he basically lost 95% of everything that we had in the account.I was extremely furious because that money was going to be used to fund some of my college expenses later on, so I had an argument with Jay. However, back then he did tell me that he would take out the money I had put in the account and not touch it, and that I'm an AH for giving him the freedom of using my money and then being upset that he lost it all. Because I didn't pull out my money from his trade, according to his logic, Jay doesn't owe me anything. I didn't believe he would be incompetent enough to literally lose *all* of it, and I'm still upset that I lost all the earnings I had accumulated over a year.TL;DR Me and Jay made a shared trading account; he spends all the money that was in it, including mine, to do a trade; it fails and since he gave me the option to remove my money from the trade, it's not his fault he lost all of it. AITA for being angry about having lost all that money or did I make the mistake of letting him keep it in the trade?",AITA for being upset that my friend traded all my money away?,ESH -111cijp,"So last year one of my fave artists was performing in my state and last minute I wanted to go. I couldn’t get plans together in time but I had asked a few friends if they wanted to go and one of my “best” friends said she would love too. Let’s call her Patrica. Well this year turns out that artist is coming to my town which works out even better. So I reached out to my friend and she said she would love to go. As a splurge to treat myself and to do something nice for my friend since we normally just go to concerts and sit on the lawn seats (aka the cheapest seats) I got seated floor seats. Again this was a spurge to myself so I’ve never asked her to pay me back - I did it bc I wanted to see this artist and just make some cool memories with my friend. We joked that she could buy me ONE drink at the venue. Well I didn’t think anything else of it until this past weekend at my Gal-intines party. As we were playing a game and having fun- one of the prompts was to share something you are excited about this year - so I mentioned the concert. Well …….. then Patrica spoke about it. In front of everyone she said “well actually I wanted to talk to you about that…. I don’t think I’m the best person for you to take.” She then went on to give her reasons as “Yea, sorry, I was gonna talk to you when we were doing your hair, then it came up & idk. I just want you to have the best time! Idk if I would give that to you HBLEHR I’m lame” It threw me through a loop and definitely made me shut down a bit and kinda check out. I have social anxiety and I’m very quick to just spin out when I get flustered and embarrassed and some of the girls at the party I’m not super close too. I felt like she was publicly making it seem like she was being forced to go with me or I was dragging her along against her will. I felt sad and pathetic and hurt. We haven’t really spoken since - I did end up asking her what her real issue was and all she said was “I just don’t want too” Which is valid and honestly I don’t want to spend the whole night worried if she would have a good time. But I also don’t want to see her right now - I’m hurt and embarrassed and I don’t like how she handled it. Am I the asshole for canceling our plans together for this week (her doing my hair) bc of something that could be seen as so childish?",AITA - For avoiding plans after it came to light that my best friend changed her mind about going to a concert after I bought the tickets - Floor seats - $500 a pop?,NTA -111ch1o,"So I 22F go to clinical practice every day And we have to write a log sheet writing down all the patients we’ve seen, the treatment given, assessment etc. Me and two other girls go there, but I’m the only one who wrote the notes everyday. They just expected me to give them these notes without ever having done anything and treating me like a third wheel constantly.When they asked if I could give them the log sheets for the past 6 weeks, I told them I would only share specific log sheets that they would like, but they said they wanted ALL my logsheets, to which I said no. They got pretty pissed off and started to chat quietly among themselves and I knew it was about me. So, Am I the Asshole?",AITA For not sharing my notes with the girls?,NTA -111c5cu,"I (28 F) am pregnant with my first child with my husband (30 M). This is our first time as parents and as such we do not have any baby items such as clothes, diapers, crib, etc. I am also having the first grandchild on my side of the family. My family is not well off and does not have any baby items either. My SIL (34 F) on my husband's side has 2 children (4 and 3 years old) and gave us a bunch of hand me down items from her kids (clothes, toys, books, baby care items, and post partum items). I appreciated all of the items and help that she has given us. I told her thank you for all the items and gladly accepted them. I recently had a baby shower where friends and family gave us gifts as well. One of the gifts was a brand new high chair that can be converted 6 different way that my aunt gave us. At the baby shower, SIL came up to my husband and me and asked if we were planning on using the hand me down high chair she gave us for Christmas as well as the other used items. I told her that I was still planning on keeping the items and would give the older chair to my parents. My parents do not have any baby items at their house and I decided to give any duplicate items to them as they will babysit our child when I go back to work. My SIL stated, ""Well, I need the high chair back since I want to give it to someone else who will use it."" I told her that all of the items that she had given us will be used as we do not have any other children. My SIL said that she did not realize that I would use EVERYTHING she gave us and promised some of her friends the items as well. I told her that I was not giving any of the gifts back to her that she gave us.My SIL has since been complaining to my husband and harassing him about giving the gifts she gave us back to her (books, toys, breast pump/post partum items, and mainly the high chair). My husband wants me to give her the high chair back so she can give it to her friend. I told my husband that if she wanted it for her friend then she shouldn't have given it to us in the first place. I also told my husband that it is rude to constantly check up on someone and question if they are using their gifts and demand that unused gifts should be given back. AITA?",AITA for not wanting to return a gift to the sender who wants it back?,NTA -111bzdh,"My boyfriend Liam [30M] and I [29F] have 2 great friends, Tasha [30F] and Tom [28M]. We met 7 years ago and are very close. (Note - Tasha and Tom are not and have never been romantically involved.)In 2018 we started a tradition of going on an annual weekend break together. Just a little 2-night 'staycation' at a vacation rental. We have done it most years since then except during covid.2 years ago, Liam and I befriended a couple named Simon [27M] and Sam [26M]. They've met Tasha and Tom many times. Tasha became good friends with Simon and Sam very quickly. Tom gets on fine with them, but they don't have much in common and aren't really 'friends'.In January, Liam, Tasha, Tom and I started planning this year's trip to a little coastal town. Due to various commitments, April was the only month we could all go. I found a nice 3-bed rental at a good price. Liam and Tasha said yes. Tom said ""I dunno yet"". In case the reluctance was money-related, I said I'm happy to book it, you can pay me back whenever. But we should book ASAP - there's only 1 weekend left in April and all other rentals were much pricier. Tom said it should be fine, but he'll let me know.2 weeks went by so I messaged Tom. He said he didn't know yet. I asked if he was OK with the cost? ""Yeah, money isn't a problem, I just need to check whether I can get the time off work"". 2 weeks later, I nudged him again. I was starting to worry the rental would get snapped up. He still wasn't sure and said he'd let me know soon.That was 2 weeks ago. Liam, Tasha and I have been discussing the trip in our group chat regularly, tagging Tom, but he hasn't replied.Yesterday marked **6 weeks** since we first made plans. I think it's clear that, for some reason, Tom can't/doesn't want to come. I'm not offended or upset - it's his choice and I don't want to keep badgering him.I spoke to Liam and Tasha yesterday. We decided to go on the trip, and invite Simon and Sam instead, as Tom still isn't replying to messages about the trip (but is replying to other messages) so he's clearly not interested. We've been considering a trip with Simon and Sam for a while anyway, and we've booked the time off work, so may as well use it.So I asked Simon and Sam if they'd like to come. They said yes, so I booked it. I then messaged Tom and said ""hey, I've invited Simon and Sam to come on the trip in April since I figured you couldn't get time off work. It's a shame you can't make it this time, but no worries, we'll arrange another trip soon!""Tom replied within minutes and seemed upset and angry. He said he couldn't believe I was ""kicking him out"" of the trip and ""replacing him"" with my new friends. I said I'm sorry if it came across that way, but I waited 6 weeks for him to commit to the trip and I couldn't wait any longer. He now isn't replying to my messages so I'm wondering AITA?","AITA for ""replacing"" my friend and ""kicking him out"" of our weekend trip?",NTA -111bykn,"Hi there! My dad is a meth addict and has been forever. He recently was arrested and is looking at 10 months in prison if he does not post bail and if he does post bail he wants to do his usual 30-45 day treatment then halfway house which he has made arrangements for - this is not our first rodeo and I know this route will not work for him to stay sober realistically. He is currently in jail and his bail is set at $60,000 (so he will owe $6,000 however they have a hearing next week to reduce the bail amount) normally it would not matter as he does not have any money however prior to his arrest this last time he came into about $10,000 (which he has spent a couple grand/lost a couple grand during relapses) but he gave me $6500 to save for him So I have his money in a checking account and it's been sitting there safely for him- solely in my name but it's HIS money. He is going to expect me to use that money to post his bail since it is his. He also wrote me and told me he is receiving another settlement check and he is mailing me it and wants me to save it for him. I don't want to bail him out. I think he should serve his time. He relapsed one day after getting the money to me to save and lost everything he had and ended up arrested high on meth breaking into someone's porch with said meth on him. AITA if I don't bail him out with HIS money?",AITA for not giving my dad HIS money to bail out of jail?,NTA -111bt9l,"My (33M) wife's (36F) aunt (52F) is dying. My wife and I have two kids (F10) (M6). My wife's grandpa died about 13 months ago. Our daughter had a hard time with it because it was a sudden heart attack that took him, we pulled her out of school to go be with family. Most of my wife's family lives 45 minutes away from us. Not a convenient drive that I love to do often so we try to limit it to holidays and certain special occasions but we do end up going there quite often. Back to my wife's aunt. She's cool, we love her. Life of the party, always fun to be around. She has two kids who are right around 30, neither one of them are married, they both drink way too much, and we're worried about them because their dad died about 15 years ago so they won't have either one of their parents. She has been on dialysis since before I even met my wife about 12 years ago. We celebrated her 50th birthday on her 49th birthday thinking she wasn't going to make it to 50. The last few years have been like that. All of these ""reasons"" to get together and celebrate her ""lasts"". She had an episode a couple weeks ago where she ended up in the hospital and that has led her to decide to stop dialysis this week. I quit drinking almost a year ago so being around drunk people has gotten annoying. She, the aunt, made a comment a few months ago that she misses the fun me. I thought ""fuck you"". But whatever. I did used to be more fun I guess. So the real AITA question starts with my daughter who is upset knowing this aunt is going to die. She's worried she's going to find out that she died while she is at school again like she was when grandpa died. We told her she can't just not go to school, we all have lives we must continue to live. This morning I said to my wife, ""Why don't we just not tell her until she gets home from school...??"" to which my wife replies, ""Well, we're going to have to pull her out to go be with everyone when she does die, didn't people show up when your dad died??..."" to which I was like WTF?? My dad died unexpectedly almost 20 years ago, he fell asleep while driving. Yes, everyone came flocking but that was unexpected. It kind of pissed me off that she compared the two. We have said goodbye to her aunt so many times. I have already taken time off of work when she had her episode a couple of weeks ago and we drove the 45 minutes to say goodbye. I only have so much PTO and I'm trying to save it up for a trip we are planning to take in May. She came to our house over the weekend to have one final party and goodbye. Now I'm done with it. I'll be there for the funeral absolutely, I'm a pallbearer. But I just don't know about when she dies. Am I an asshole if I refuse to go be with everyone when she dies?",AITA My Wife's Aunt is Dying,YTA -111bl74,"I (31 F) have been married to my husband (31 M) for 10 years.My issue is that my husband likes to play pranks. Daily he likes to play pranks on me. Usually it takes the form of a joke he tells me after presenting it as a true story. I usually don’t mind these jokes or pranks. He has a great sense of humor, and it’s one of the reasons why I fell in love with him in the first place.However, he recently presented a story to me that I am not aware is a joke or not. Now we are a very progressive/liberal couple. We are huge LGBTQIA+ allies. I have so many friends who are a part of that community and we support and love them wholeheartedly.We went out on a date on Saturday nights when he told me something.Now as far as I am aware, my husband has always been straight, however he informed me that from the ages of 13 to 18 he had a sexual relationship with another guy. I was very surprised as he had never mentioned this in our 10+ years of relationship. I truly don’t care if he were bisexual, however I was very shocked as this was something that he kept from me for so long. We spent at least an hour talking about it. It seems like he really wanted to get it off his chest and he was open to answering any questions I may have had, we completed our date and then didn’t really speak of it after that. However, the next day I’ve got to thinking about it. Like I said he likes to pull pranks and last year for about four months he convinced me that a close family friend of ours was secretly in the closet. We would have many discussions on how we can make our friend feel comfortable enough to come out of the closet. From December until April he convinced me that our friend was gay. However, on April 1 he revealed to me that it had all been an April fools prank. So that morning I decided to question him. I stated I know you told me a very serious thing last night and I support you but I want to make sure that this is not actually a prank. He got offended and said, why would I pull a prank on you? I said, just making sure it’s not another April fools prank that you’re building up to. He said it’s not April fools yet so I wouldn’t be able to tell you if it was a prank yet.I told him I hate when you pull these kind of pranks on me because I feel like I can’t trust you. if you were lying to me about this I feel like I won’t be able to trust you ever again. He got super offended, said I can’t believe you would say you don’t trust me, but he never answered the question as to whether it was a prank or not and when I tried to bring it up again, he just got angry saying you can figure it out by my wording, if it’s a prank or not.I said Just tell me yes or no is it a prank? I don’t care if its true I just want to know that you’re telling me the truth but he still hasn’t answered the question properly. And he’s mad at me that I said I wouldn’t trust him ever again if it was a prank. Am the asshole for saying I don’t trust him if he pulls this prank on me or tried to?",AITA for questioning if my husband was pulling a prank on me?,NTA -111bbtv,"I (25F) am getting married to my fiancé (27M). Initially I wanted our wedding date to be May 25th, 2024 because that was a good date when college kids were out of school and a good time for flowers/weather. Fast forward to December 2022 and the venue we wanted to book had the May 25th date taken, so we decided to go with the next weekend, June 1st. We hadn’t consulted any relatives about the specific date since we figured that it was far out enough, so it would give people plenty of time to figure out their schedules once save the dates were sent out. Shortly after, only immediate family and important friends were notified of the date.Now, about a month after it’s been booked, suddenly my fiance’s sister (30+F) and her partner (30+M) had an issue with that date. At first my fiancé and I were confused why they would have an issue with a date so far out, but the reason was they had big plans for that date because it was the boyfriend’s birthday and it was a special year for them. I won’t specify the reason but regardless, it was very important to them. They supposedly had something planned for years for that exact date and my fiancé and I just didn’t know about it.They complained that my fiancé failed to communicate and were incredibly upset/stressed that our wedding day was the same day as this date when they had these big plans. At this time I don’t know what these exact plans were that they made so far in advance.Understandably, I’m sure my fiancé and I could have gone the extra step to say “hey, we are thinking of so and so date, what do you think?” But I didn’t think something like this would cause such emotional tension. They said some pretty guilt trippy stuff to my fiancé, which in my opinion is uncalled for. It all really boils down to, we thought this was a good date, with a more than reasonable amount of time for our guests/family to get their schedules together. The idea that anyone had anything planned something that far out just did not cross our minds.I am trying to be understanding, because what is an important date/thing to someone may not be important to me/us. However, I feel like my fiancé is getting treated unfairly and I don’t think this is our fault entirely. If this were any other date, we wouldn’t be getting this level of reprehension. I do believe they are making it a little bit about themselves and taking their frustrations out on us. But whatever they had planned is not our business.At the very least, they don’t expect us to change the date, which would be a hassle at this point since we’ve been booked for a month now and also just signed a contract with a DJ. We both apologized as best we could. But the whole situation leaves a sour taste in my mouth and lowered my respect for them. AITA?",AITA for setting a wedding date a year and a half out without consulting the family about it first?,NTA -1111mcq,"I (29F) live with my partner (29M) and my MIL(50F).I used to have a pretty good relationship with my MIL. Everything changed after I got pregnant and had my baby.When I got pregnant MIL was ecstatic. She gushed about being able to hold, kiss, play with the little one once they were born, and would say stuff like ""you're gonna have to fight with me to get the baby back because I won't want to let go."" She got even more excited when we learned we were having a girl, as she has two sons.MIL did say some things that made me uncomfortable and upset while I was pregnant. For example, her response to me voicing my concern about being unable to breastfeed was ""some women just don't try hard enough to breastfeed. Every woman can breastfeed if they just try hard enough, I did it with both my boys."" It heightened my anxiety around breastfeeding so much that, when my daughter was born and ended up having problems latching (and I ended up having supply issues) I spent 2 months trying to make it work so that I wouldn't feel like a failure as a mother. It affected my ability to bond with my baby.It's been nothing but issues with my MIL since we brought my daughter home. She got angry that I was staying in her living room (room is closest to the kitchen, so I could grab and wash bottles and my breast pump easily) with the baby when we brought her home, despite saying it was okay, and spent two weeks in her room sulking (I offered to vacate her living room but she kept insisting it was fine). She doesn't spend time with my daughter unless I ask her to. She moves my belongings and the baby's stuff around and doesn't tell me where she's put them. She washes my baby's feeding items directly in the sink, which is against the CDC recommendations, and when my partner asked her to stop she got incredibly offended and cried. She won't stop vaping around my baby, even though I told her I'm not comfortable with her doing it. She even once got angry and barely spoke to me for two days because I asked her not to burn certain essential oils around the baby, due to toxicity concerns. Up until now, I haven't confronted her about any of the stuff I've mentioned; I've just let everything go. But I feel like losing my patience at this point. There are nice things that she does for us, like picking up diapers/wipes when she goes to the city, and helping me make baby food, so I feel if I did lose my cool I might be an AH regardless of what has transpired.So Reddit, WIBTA if I eventually lose my cool and told my MIL off for her behaviour?",WIBTA if I eventually lose it on my MIL for her behaviour?,NTA -1118r4k,"Pissed off today I was making some chicken and rice, I live with my aunt and the whole family does too. we're trying to save enough money to move to another city, now this is the problem today I was making A lot of noise. and than I went into my parents room to get the rice. they keep it in there to not take up so much space, in my aunts kitchen. anyways I went in there to get some rice, then my dad said what are you doing, I said getting some rice very sternly. then he said what where you doing out there, he asked playing dumb he acts like a teen boy. then I said i was using the foil to make my chicken, again sternly. then he said watch how you talk to me, I ain't your friend. and I'm like thinking ok then I left. but in my mind I was like ni##a I ain't your friend either. and if I had somewhere else to go, i'd tell him that to his ugly face. he uses my mother for money, and my aunt. and thinks he's in charge. tell others what to do while contributing nothing to this family, what pisses me off deep in my heart is, that I know for a fact that if I could stay here longer with out them I would. cant deal with being in debt to a bum like him. its just the fact i sound crazy, but he does this all the time, gets us into money troubles then he tries to act like he's smarter then everyone. or he uses his past because of stuff his mom did as a reason to blame, us all for why his life sucks. keep in mind no one cares if he stay's or goes, expect my mom. he thinks he is needed for his money or lack of money, and wisdom that he gets from that old trashy jew book. and no one gives a fuck honestly, they deal with him because he refuses to go. and we have to deal with him, but i'm 18 and as soon as I get a job I will of course leave. Aita for talking to him a certain way and being resentful and ungrateful now seething about it.",AITA for talking to my dad like this,NTA -1118gbq,"First time poster. Let’s jump into it. Left to go to work this morning at 5:30am. Pitch black. Driving out of my neighborhood, stopped at a stop sign. Didn’t see anyone. So I proceeded through. Out of the corner of my eye I see a dog as I’m already more than half way through my turn. He’s wearing all dark clothing. His dog isn’t on a leash. They do not have any lights on. Nothing reflective on. No flashing light. Guy comes running up. Yelling and hollering. Cussing me out flipping me off. I did stop and make contact because I wanted to be certain I didn’t hit this dudes dog and just drive off. I didn’t come close to hitting dudes dog or him. AITA?",AITA for not seeing some guy walking his dog,NTA -11144w3,"Hi RedditMe (21) and my GF (22) was walking down the street today with our arms full of groceries, this a pretty busy street with lots of people around and the sun still up.As we were walking down a guy came out from a corner and scared my GF and me, we continued walking and he walked the other way from us, I stared him down as he walked away. My gf got a bit spooked in the moment.She is now 20 min later super mad at me for not saying anything.I said I’m sorry she was spooked and explained that I got a little scared aswell and I was walking in my own thoughts so I wasn’t mentally prepared, but I still stared him in the eyes as he walks away. This is not good enough for my GF who is now talking about how she can’t know if she’s safe around me.AITA?He scared us on purpose. With little kind of jump out.",AITA for not saying anything to the guy that scared my GF (and me),NTA -1113rjo,"My sister is scheduled to go in for a C-section with her second child at 6 in the morning. I live 2 hours away from them and an extra hour from the hospital so it'll be a 3 hour drive there and back on my own.So my family relationship is weird, especially right now. I have a lot of past trauma that I've been coming to terms with and working with the past 2 years and all of it is family related. I went almost fully no contact with my parents last year until my mother had a heart attack and since then my progress has fizzled to a stop and began to regress from just having to deal with them and be around them. My sister, however, was married in 2017 and ive seen her a total of 5 times since. My oldest niece is 2 and I've met her once and that was this past Christmas. Me and her used to be close. I basically raised her and when i moved 2 hours away i would make trips specifically for her and take her out and bring her up to the city where i live since she never got to experience that at home. We had fun, or I thought we did. But once she was married she never leaves their house to come anywhere anymore. Not to my parents or to meet to eat out, or my grandmothers, or visit me, or even video call. They travel all over their area and a lot with their church family though. She doesnt even txt me anymore, she only sends pictures through a family group message.I texted her last night telling her that I love her and such and got no response though my mom let me know she was txting her. My mom is expecting me to be there when they are at 6. It's an hour drive for them so they're all arriving at 6am. I told her itd be between 8-9 when i got there and shes already upset about that. Shes going to try to guilt me into staying the night with them as well despite me already saying no.I just honestly dont want to go. I dont see the point, i really dont see it making a difference to her if im there or not but idk if that's my self preservation or lazy selfishness talking.",AITA for not going to the birth of my niece?,NTA -1116p1h,"I (15 m) and my friend (14 f ), have known eachover for a couple of years. Last year my friend, who i'll call Eve for privacy reasons, came out as a lesbian. In the past couple of months she's been crushing on a girl from our school, nothing out of the blue, but today, after class, she took a sniff of that girl's jacket. When i heard about this, i thought it was very weird, and thought the right thing to do was to tell the girl that Eve sniffed her jacket, and i did. But now they dont talk anymore, and Eve blames me for it. Am i the asshole?",AITA for telling on my friend?,YTA -11123mf,"My gf told me recently that she feels a little heartbroken that I don’t post pictures of her on my Instagram. I said that I do, but she responded that in It’s the 3rd or 4th picture of the post. She’s not on the first, so it feels like I’m hiding her. As if my IG is to show off to other online women and they won’t see that I’m taken. If I take a screen shot of my profile, you won’t see a picture of her. But if click on certain posts, swipe a picture or two, you’ll see me and her. I may not make a bunch of posts about us, but they’re on there, and I even post stories where it’s her and I, but she doesn’t count them because they’re only up for a day and then gone forever.For context, we’ve been dating a few years and we had to hide it for a big chunk of that because we were coworkers. So I just got used to not posting much of her. She sent me a video of some dude talking about scenarios like this and that typically it means that the guys are trying to hide their gf, but they should be flaunted. She told be she felt heartbroken. I told her that I picked her and I have no need to advertise myself on IG because I was happy with her. Am I the asshole? Also I should note, she said don’t post anything now because it will feel forced. So I can’t just put up a picture to make it better.",AITA because I don’t post enough of my gf on social media,NTA -11148k1,"I live in the upper story of a house along with 3 other roommates. At the front of the house next to the entrance there is the living room and kitchen. Earlier this week I saw several fish sitting on the counter. And then two days later when I was coming home with a date, found that the entire apartment smelled so strongly of fish, that seconds within walking at the ground floor, we both smelled the stench. We jogged off to my bedroom, down a hallway, at the opposite side of the house, and found that it, despite the door being closed, reeked of that smell of fish too. I applied a bath and bodyworks strawberry air freshner, turned on the fan, and opened the window but 24h later it still smells like fish in most of the common areas to the point where I will actively avoid them. as this is not the first time and it seems like it has been getting worse I asked my roommate to turn on the fan above the stove when he cooks (as he usually forgets) but he claimed he did as well as opened the windows and “that’s just how mackerel smells when it cooks 🤷‍♂️”. AITA for asking him to avoid cooking te stinky fish varieties ? 🐟😷EDIT: I should also mention he is from overseas so I don’t want to make it seem like I’m being disrespectful/intolerant toward the food he cooks. I do enjoy fish myself but I never cook it at home!",AITA for asking my roommate not to cook smelly fish in our shared house?,YTA -111483z,"English is not my first language.I try to go to bed at 10 pm, read a little and try to sleep at 11 pm. I wake up at 6 am.My bf likes to play videogames and comes to bed later than 10 pm, I often have to ask him to come, because when he comes to bed later and I'm already sleeping he wakes me up. I'm just a light sleeper, he tries to be quit.Yesterday we went to bed after 11 pm, because I had to help him with something. He had trouble sleeping so he got back up after a while. That woke me up and I got woken up again by him, when he got back.Tonight I woke up because he snored. I looked at the time it was 4:30. If it would have been later like 5:30 I would have just gotten up. But because it was so early, I wanted to sleep again and tried to stop him snoring by touching him. That woke him up an he was angry. I apologized, told him he snored. He left for the couch but I followed and asked him to come back, because when I get up in the morning, I eat breakfest in the livingroom, and would wake him up again.We fell back asleep and when my alarm went of I was really tired.He usually wakes up at 9 am. When I asked him via text how he felt, he just responded ""like shit"". I felt bad because I woke him up, and he is feeling tired also because of me. But on the other hand he has bad sleeping hygine, got to bed to late and could sleep longer than my, so I'm not sure if I shouldn't be the one who is angry and his tiredness is self-inflicted.AITA for waking him up because he snored, making him feel tired today?",AITA for waking my boyfriend because he was snored.,NTA -1113lia,"I(F17) have two best friends (also F17), “Sam” and “Helen”. Sam is a very headstrong person, I respect her a lot for how determined and no-nonsense she can be, but she often gets in fights with teachers. I feel bad saying it, but me and Helen both agree that she is almost always to cause for these fights and has a tendency to view it as the fault of the teachers for not respecting her or something. She has been dealing with some personal issues, mainly problems with how she views herself and feeling lesser than her classmates. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with not feeling great, she shouldn’t hide her emotions but when she is upset she’ll take it out on the people around her. Helen is in her class and Sam will act cold towards her and gets irritated with her very quickly.She’ll still joke with us but unusually “mean”. Like entering a conversation between me and Helen with “I’m sure what you were just saying was very boring so…”. We’re all normally very jokey and use irony and sarcasm for humor but when she’s like that it doesn’t feel like she’s joking. So Helen talks to me about how annoyed Sam has been with her, which I believe is pretty normal. Last Friday Sam opened up to me about her troubles with her self-image, and she said she regretted being so rude towards me and Helen. I told her that I believed she should apologize to Helen, that she would appreciate it. Everything seemed fine but on out way home she got quiet and finally asked me if Helen and me had talked about her. I said we had because that’s the truth and I didn’t think it was unexpected of Helen to want to talk to a friend about the situation. She then stopped talking to me and went straight home. I’m not sure if I shouldn’t have told her about me and Sam talking. I was so relieved that she finally openend up to me and feel like all this has been “reset”. (English is not my first language so sorry if this wasn’t written very well.)",AITA for letting my friend know her other friend talked to me about her?,NTA -111oczr,"I(25m) work as a masseur for a somewhat small spa and have been doing for three years. This week I had to do something I have never done before and that is turn someone away. What happened was that we had a group booking for four people. As per usual I grabbed the questionnaire and waiver for the client I was going to take. When I saw her I became concerned as she was clearly over 400lbs. Aside from the weight capacity, I wasn't sure if she would have been able to fit on the table but I put that concern aside. &#x200B;For the sake of safety, I decided to weigh her with the result being she was 465lbs. With the table's capacity being 495lbs I decided to not risk it. In the most polite way I could, I told her that for her safety I can't service her. As an alternative, I offered our other services where her weight wouldn't be an issue. Unfortunately, she was too upset/embarrassed and as a result, she and her group decided to cancel their appointments. Because of this three of my colleagues absolutely hate my guts now. They all believe that I should have been much more accommodating of her. &#x200B;Am I the asshole?",AITA for telling someone they are too fat for a massage?,NTA -111k5as,"I (29f) was pretty much disowned by my entire family when I came out at 18. My parents gave me five minutes to grab my things before shutting me outside. I remember telling them that there was no way I could live on my own, that I was their kid and they should want to love and support me. My father told me that I made this bed myself by “choosing” my lifestyle, so I should grow up and learn to lay in it.I turned out pretty okay all things considered. I was able to go to college on a few scholarships and not too many loans. I met my wife during our freshman year and I’ve been with her ever since.We have a 2yo daughter who is the most precious little person in the world, we bought a house, and we both have decent paying jobs. I consider myself to be incredibly lucky and I can’t imagine my life without my wife and our daughter.I don’t keep in touch with my bio family, so I don’t know how my parents got my contact info but they did. My mom sent me a message detailing the financial issues they were going through. They had to sell the house I grew up in and they moved to some apartments. At the end of the message, my mom asked me if I’d be willing to help them out for a little while by letting them stay with me.I didn’t respond to the message, I just planned on pretending like I never saw it, but then I got a call the other day and as soon as I answered it, I realized my dad was on the other line. He told me the same thing my mom did and that they needed help.I said “that really sucks, I hope you figure it out.”He then flat out asked if I was seriously not going to provide them with any assistance. I asked why he wanted my help and he told me that I should want to support my parents the way they supported me growing up.I replied saying that maybe if their “support” of me hadn’t ended the moment I told them I was a lesbian, I’d be willing to help them, but unfortunately they made their bed themselves so they can lay in it too. I hung up on him and later he left a voicemail calling me selfish and cruel for using their financial struggles to prove a point.Maybe it is cruel. I don’t know.Edit:I sent my mom an email with a bunch of links to soup kitchens, food pantries, housing assistance, etc. and then I blocked both her and my dad. I might change my number if they try calling again but for now I'm gonna leave it as is.",AITA for telling my parents that they made their own bed so they can lay in it when they asked me for help?,NTA -111m1sx,Hi. I don't know if I'm allowed to post here. I'm 14 and I babysit for a few people in my neighborhood. On Friday I was babysitting for a couple that moved into the city from the south. They are only a block from my house so my parents were okay with me staying there until ten. They said they would be home by nine. They did not get home at nine. At quarter to ten I started texting them to see if they were on the way. Then I called my parents. My mom came over because I was getting worried. It had snowed pretty bad on Friday and they weren't answering. At 11:30 we phoned the police. I was freaking out. The police got their names and address and I guess found their license plates like that. They found them in about twenty five minutes. They were at their friend's house. They called me and they were mad that I called the police. I promise I wouldn't have called the police if they had answered my texts or calls. And my mom was concerned as well. I didn't call to get them in trouble. I was worried. But they told my mom that I'm not mature enough to be babysitting if that's how I'm going to behave. I feel kind of bad that the police made them come home from their friend's house. But I think that they should have answered the phone. What if there was something wrong with their kids?,AITA for calling the police when the people I was babysitting for would not answer their phone.,NTA -111naqe,I had a major fight with my wife a few hours ago and I strongly think I’m in the right but she is so angry I almost feel like I’m the one crazy. I’ll provide context. I married my wife 3 years ago but we have been together 6. One important thing to note is she’s extremely clean. I regret not moving in together until we married because while I knew she was clean I didn’t know the full extent. Let this be a lesson to live with your partner before marriage. She is the reason why our house looks like a model home. She hates dishes in the sink while I’m content to let them sit for a couple days. She spends her off days scrubbing bathrooms because in her mind they should be cleaned weekly. She doesn’t let me bring my shoes inside and insists I shower immediately when I get home before laying in bed. There are a million more things but hopefully you have an idea. This didn’t start hurting our marriage until we had kids. We have a 2 year old and a 1 year old. I’m a SAHD. I left work when our youngest was born and that is when our disagreement on how clean the home needs to be started to get bad. She expects me to do most of the chores now when it used to be primarily her and I wouldn’t mind if they were reasonable. She wants the children to have a bath everyday and I think every 1-3 days is fine. She wants all of their toys put away by the end of the day and I think there is no point when it will be a mess again. She wants the dishes done daily. She wants all house bedding washed weekly. She wants me to vacuum weekly. She wants me to mop every 3-4 days since in her logic the kids spend a lot of time playing on the floor. They will not be hurt or sick if I mop every 2 weeks. Because I don’t play along with most of her demands she ends up being the one to do most of the housework when she gets home or her rare off days.She works 40-80 hours/week so it is a lot but she does it to herself. I feel I do what is reasonable. This all built up to today. She got home and saw I hadn’t yet washed the dishes and there was still grease/food in some of the pans and on the countertop. Also I hadn’t yet brought in the trash cans from the previous two days when they were emptied. She flew off the handle calling me lazy and a slob. She said she would like for me to return to work since in her eyes I’m doing a poor job and use the money to hire a weekly housekeeper and a nanny who “wouldn’t leave the kids in pjs all day.” I got pissed and told her she is crazy and she works herself up over small things and I will not be leaving my kids with a stranger. She packed a bag for herself and our babies and to her mom’s house. I’m furious. Am I the asshole?Edit: so I’m the asshole. The common belief is I need to help more around the house. I’ll see what I can do and apologize to my wife. Thanks.,AITA for not keeping up with my wife’s cleaning demands?,YTA -111hf4e,"When my (42F) daughter (17F) was 7, we lost her father to an avoidable accident. Due to that and the subsequent settlement, my daughter was able to have a trust fund of sorts that provided for college, grad school if she wanted, and even some left over for whatever life might bring. It is money that - managed wisely - would enable her to have a head start in life. She knows about this and has never taken for granted given where the money came from. After all, we'd both rather have her father around than the money.That said, life moves on and I remarried 6 years after my former husband's passing to a lovely man who has two children of his own (17F, 13M). All of the children live with us primarily with his children seeing their mother on vacations as she lives across the country.This year, both our girls are graduating and should be headed to college. My daughter was admitted ED to her dream school last year and is ecstatic about it. Her father is an alumnus and she has this old sweatshirt of his that she kept to remind her of him. She cried so much when she got in and both her step father and I were proud of her because she worked hard to get in. My step daughter will also be attending a wonderful school that is one the top ranked schools for her interests. The problem now arises with the money to pay for SD's school.Because her parents cannot afford to pay the tuition in its entirety, SD will have to take some loans. All told, she will graduate with about $40K in loans which I think is still quite modest for the school she's attending and her earning prospects post graduation. But my daughter will graduate debt free and for my husband this is suddenly a problem. He wants us to split up my daughter's fund between all three kids because then they could all (probably) have college fully paid for. My daughter won't have much left over and will definitely need to borrow for grad school - which she has expressed interest in attending - but, according to my husband, that's ok because everyone will start off on an equal footing post college. I think this is unfair to my daughter because 1) her father had to die for this money and 2) this is like her inheritance from him. My husband thinks that they are all siblings and she should be happy to share the money with them if it means giving her siblings a head start in life. I absolutely do not want to put her in the position of being guilted into saying yes if she doesn't want to. I have expressed all of this to my husband and he thinks that I'm being selfish, that I'm teaching my daughter to be selfish, and I obviously don't consider my SKs the same as my daughter.AITA for wanting to protect my daughter's trust for her as it was intended?ETA: Since I've seen this a few times already, both kids do have college funds but somewhat smaller because my husband and his ex got their finances together later in life. So there is some money but with the caliber/COA of the school that SD will be attending, she will still need some loans to cover costs. I haven't brought up going to a cheaper school because that will be a fresh set of problems given where my daughter will be matriculating.",AITA for not splitting my daughter's college fund,NTA -111our6,"My sister is getting married next weekend and I'm a bridesmaid. I'm a Type 1 Diabetic and I wear two medical devices, a Dexcom blood sugar monitor on one arm and a Omnipod insulin pump on the other.They're both really small (under 2in ea) and work together to automatically monitor and regulate my blood sugar levels. This basically means I don't have to prick my fingers to test blood sugar or give myself insulin injections, the system does that automatically and makes my life way easier.Today when we were trying on our dresses, my sister told me she wants me to not wear them during the wedding because the gowns are sleeveless and the devices will look ugly in the photos. I told her I wasn't okay removing them, they're essential medical equipment and I'm not going to put myself in a position to affect my health just for some photos.My sister complained to our mother and some of our friends, and they're all taking her side. They say it's no big deal if I just don't wear them during the wedding, but I don't see why I should.Mom suggested I could move them to my stomach, but I've tried that before and find it incredibly uncomfortable. When I put a new sensor on, I'm stuck with it for 10 days until it expires and I can switch to a new one, and I don't want to be stuck with one on my stomach where it will bother me the entire time.They're all complaining that I'm not willing to compromise at all, but I don't think my health should be an area where anyone can ask that I compromise at all.AITA?",AITA for refusing to remove my medical equipment during my sister's wedding?,NTA -111rgyu,"My boyfriend (M24) and I (F21) have been dating for 2 months. A couple days ago he was on his way to my apartment when he decided to stop at the store to get a few things. I had gotten my period earlier that day and had just realized I was out of pads so I texted him asking if he could get me more. I told him I would pay him back. He came home with flowers, chocolate, and tampons. I was very appreciative, but asked him why he got tampons when I asked for pads. He said he thinks I should try them because “they’re cleaner and it’s more attractive when girls use tampons”. I told him that tampons make my cramps worse and I leak more with them, so I prefer pads. He got mad and said I should be grateful that he got me period products regardless. I told him that I was grateful, but my preference for what product I use matters more than his since I’m the one menstruating. So far everyone I’ve told this to thinks I’m the asshole, so let’s see what Reddit thinks.",AITA for complaining when my boyfriend bought me the wrong period product?,NTA -111fuxd,"My brother-in-law was driving us home and my hands were starting to shake because I hadn’t eaten so I was going to eat one of the pastries I bought but he said I couldn’t eat in his car. He was acting like his precious car would combust if it got crumbs in it so I asked him to pull over because I needed to eat something.I decided to just walk home while I ate my pastry because I was annoyed at him. He kept asking me to get back in the car and claimed my husband would “bust his balls” if he let me walk home but I told him I didn’t care and I walked the entire way.So now my husband is mad at his brother and my brother-in-law is blaming me because I refused to get back in the car. They had a huge argument when my husband first found out and my husband also privately told me I should’ve just let his brother drive me home instead of being stubborn and walking. Every time we argue about it, my brother-in-law asks me if I’m going to start sulking again which is really getting on my nerves.AITA?",AITA for walking home because my brother-in-law wouldn’t let me eat in his car?,YTA -111gbbh,"My brother was getting married, and it was a child-free wedding per future SIL's request. The wedding was out of state so my husband and I were going to make it into a three-day weekend. We had a sitter lined up months ago. The day before we were set to leave she had to cancel for a family emergency. We tried to find a last-minute sitter that we trusted and could also do just overnight but came up empty. I tried calling and texting my brother about the situation but couldn't get hold of him. We were both in the wedding party and I didn't want to leave my brother and his soon-to-be-wife in a bind. So I called my mother after that since I knew she was with them. I explained the situation and she said she'd call me back after talking to him.Four hours pass and we didn't hear back. We had to make a decision, and since we are currently sharing one vehicle couldn't really leave my husband and kid without a vehicle, and had put a lot of money already into the wedding and trip, we just took our baby with us. We got there later than we originally planned and just went to our room. The next afternoon was the wedding, and my husband and I planned to swap time out- I'd go the ceremony and part of the reception while he stayed with the baby, and he could attend the second half the reception while I stayed with the baby. When the ceremony was over and we were heading inside to the reception, my husband had the baby inside in her stroller. I joined my husband and went to say hello to some family members, and went with him to congratulate my brother and new SIL. Husband said his hellos and congrats, then went back to our room with our child.I left the reception area a few times to bring my husband some small plates of food so he didn't have to wait for his turn to eat. On one of my trips back my brother spoke with me about it being a child-free wedding and his wife was upset that my husband had the baby in the lobby and that I kept leaving the reception. I told him they can't be too upset because we didn't bring the baby into the wedding area or the reception. The rest of the time I was at the reception I kept getting comments from who I'm guessing were SIL's family and her bridesmaids about how I was trying to steal her thunder by having my baby there. SIL kept asking why I didn't just leave them at home and would not accept my reason for not doing so.It's been a sore spot for my family and her all weekend. Am I an A-hole for bringing the baby with us?Info: The wedding ceremony itself was outside in a courtyard, it was not in a closed-off area. We had to go through the lobby area to get to the reception hall. My husband was in the lobby walking with the baby and getting coffee from the hotel shop.",AITA for bringing my baby to the hotel resort my brother was getting married in?,NTA -111tt2b,"I [25m] have been married to my wife [27f] for six months.At our house, I do most of the cooking. I have formal training as a cook and a lot of confidence in my kitchen skills. On the other hand, per her own admission, she could burn water. Two months ago, one Sunday morning I asked if my wife wanted blueberry pancakes for breakfast. She agreed and so I got to work. Around that time, my wife had expressed interest in being a better cook, and so I was teaching her the steps. After making the batter, I poured the blueberries into it.My wife threw a weird sort of fit, asking me *""What the hell are you doing??""* very aggressively. I responded that I was making blueberry pancakes. She then informed me that the blueberries aren't supposed to go *in* the batter, but rather they're a topping. I then responded that this is how they're made and I'm sure she'll enjoy them.I put the next 20 minutes into making the pancakes with bacon, eggs, and orange juice. When I got everything to the table my wife blank stared at the pancakes I gave her for a while, not putting any syrup on them. Then she slowly raised one to her mouth, smelled it, and took the tiniest possible nibble off the side. She didn't get anywhere near any of the blueberries in it, and yet she immediately gave a theatrical dry-heave, throwing the pancake down violently. She repeatedly called it the ""most nastiest"" thing she had ever eaten.I was honestly very hurt over this. The next meal, I made a portion for myself and none for her. The next, again, I made her nothing. Two months have passed and the only thing I've made her was Christmas dinner. In this interim she has been eating mostly microwave meals and fast food.Last week she finally broke and apologized to me over it, saying that she overreacted. I responded that I'm glad she finally apologized, and that night made dinner for myself and none for her again. She keeps repeating that I'm being too petty but I just wonder why it took her two months to finally apologize.Am I wrong to not drop it?",AITA for continuing to hold a grudge against my wife even after she apologized?,ESH -111altx,"My (33F) boyfriend (33M) of four years is a big football fan and he has a tradition of meeting up with his high school friends at a bar for Super Bowl every year. It’s often the only time in a year he gets to see some of these friends because they’re busy with their families and life. I don’t like football, so I’m happy to be able to drop him off somewhere, have an evening to myself and pick him up when he’s ready to come home. He tends to go hard with the alcohol when he’s out with this group. Last night, my boyfriend texted me that he was almost ready to be picked up, so I headed to the bar. He wasn’t as ready as he made it seem, so I ended up going in and sitting down with them while everyone finished their round of drinks. He was pretty drunk and he started getting handsy in a way that I wasn’t comfortable with out in public. So I politely asked him to stop. I didn’t want to make a scene so I leaned in to whisper in his ear asking to stop. He got angry and whispered back “You should consider yourself lucky that I’m going home with you. I could go home with any woman here if I wanted to.” (He couldn’t but he’s always been a dreamer lol) I was taken aback as he’s never said anything like that to me before. I get he was drunk but still. Anger set in and I excused myself as if I was going to the bathroom. I ended up leaving and texted him to let him know I left. Unfortunately, he had arranged for me to drive two of his friends home too. Wouldn’t have been an issue but he also hadn’t communicated that with me. Instead of calling an Uber or Taxi like I assumed he would, one of his friends called his wife. The wife had to wake their toddler up to go and pick them up. My boyfriend was furious when he came home and still is this morning. He slept on the couch and we had an argument before he left for work. He says I embarrassed him by just up and leaving. He vehemently denies saying what he did, doesn’t recall getting handsy and insists he wasn’t “that drunk” last night.I also got an angry text from the wife saying I was an asshole for leaving them drunk and stranded - forcing her to wake up her toddler to go and pick them up. She also had a vague passive-aggressive Facebook post up calling me out. Now I’m questioning whether I overreacted. Maybe I should have just brushed off his comment because he was drunk and followed through on the commitment I made. I just felt so disrespected by what he said after I asked him to stop doing something that was making me uncomfortable. So, AITA for leaving my drunk boyfriend and his friends stranded after the Super Bowl?Edit: Thanks for everyone’s feedback/responses/stories. To answer a few common questions/comments- He has never said anything like he did to me before. He can push my boundaries from time to time but has always respected them when I’ve said no/stop. We’ve had a really solid relationship up until this point but this has left me with a lot of questions. - He doesn’t go out often but when he does, he usually binge drinks especially with the group last night. He reverts to high school/frat boy mode. - This was his high school group of friends that I have limited interaction with. I’ve got my group of friends and then we have also have our group of “couple” friends. I don’t know the wife at all except for a couple of dinners over the years. Truthfully, his high school friends aren’t my cup of tea so I don’t interact with them much. - The reason I decided to just slip away and text him was because I didn’t want to make a scene. After what he’d said when I tried to set boundaries, I couldn’t predict how he’d react. I didn’t want him shouting or saying something else demeaning out loud. And he was very unpredictable last night.- It seems the wife wasn’t told the whole story. I did respond to her text with an apology and explanation. Went so well that she left me on read and has left the Facebook status up. Speaks more to her at this point. - I didn’t know until I got to the bar to pick him up that I was also driving his friends home. In normal circumstances, it wouldn’t have been an issue at all. A heads-up would have definitely been nice. But I probably should have ensured rides were arranged for them before leaving. - I’ve decided to stay with a close friend for a few days to figure things out. My boyfriend and I have built a life together but I’m not sure we can recover from this.- I don’t want our relationship to be contingent on “stopping drinking” or “no longer hanging out with this group of friends” or the promise that it won’t happen again. From experience, ultimatums don’t work and lead to resentment.",AITA for leaving my boyfriend and his friends behind after agreeing to be the designated driver?,NTA -111igiz,"I have a baseball cap from my childhood that has a Barbie logo on it. It’s black, with the name Barbie in pink with a fancy font.My son loves it. He’s only 3 and doesn’t know what it says. He only likes it because we were looking through the basement in my parents house and came across the hat and a photo of me wearing it when I was younger. He got super excited when he saw the picture and has been in love with the hat ever since. He calls it the “mama hat,” everyone thinks it’s cute. We were having dinner with my SIL and her family. My SIL has an 8 year old daughter who I love. She really likes Barbie and everything she owns is Barbie themed.I had a feeling that maybe it wouldn’t be best for my son to wear the Barbie hat while we were there but he really wanted to show his uncle (aka his best buddy) and my husband said it shouldn’t be a big deal so I allowed it. The night went pretty well but I noticed my SIL was a little quiet. Right before we left, she pulled me aside and asked if I could do her a big favour. She asked if I could sell her the Barbie hat. I asked her why she wanted the hat and she said that her daughter’s been eyeing it all night and asked for one. I told her to just buy one online or something but she said that she feels like that would be a waste.I said I was sorry but I wasn’t giving her the hat. She argued that my son is a boy and once he realizes it‘s Barbie themed, he’ll throw it away. I explained to her that she can ask for it again when the time comes and I’ll think about it.I thought that was it but she went to my son directly and starting telling him how Barbie’s for girls and that the hat is Barbie. He got upset because to him it’s not Barbie hat, it’s mama hat. I was over it though and told her that she definitely wasn’t getting it ever now. That if he decides he doesn’t want it anymore, it’s going straight to the garbage or my mom’s basement again. She got all frustrated and said that I’m being absolutely ridiculous. She accused me of being a childish asshole and said that I just broke her daughter’s heart. AITA? I’m starting to feel a little bad. I think I might be doing a little too much over a silly old hat.",AITA for refusing to ever sell a Barbie baseball cap to my SIL?,NTA -111gd8e,"For context, my son ‘Elijah’ is 23 and lives at home partially due to a physical disability. He is currently taking classes online to earn a business degree. He has been with his current and first time girlfriend ‘Tonya’ (24f) for 2 years. Tonya is also in college, goes to a local brick and mortar. As I understood a few months ago, Tonya gave my son a brand new Xbox series X which was a bit odd to me. It’s important to note as Tonya’s birthday approached, I gave Eli $200 to put towards a decent gift for her since she randomly gave him something expensive. Fast forward a few weeks, Tonya abruptly stopped coming over. They are adults, so neither my wife or myself pressed him as to why. Eventually, Tonya calls my wife to explain that Eli is refusing to return her Xbox. She was a bit confused, Tonya said they didn’t break up but had a fight before she asked for the Xbox back. She also claimed it was never a gift. We spoke to Eli, he assured us it was absolutely a gift as it was even wrapped. I felt they needed to figure things out on their own. Last weekend, Tonya came over and approached me in our garage. My son and wife weren’t home at the time. She had explained everything, then handed me her phone to read their text history. To summarize, one of Tonya’s three roommates stole from her. Two days later, the Xbox she had purchased was delivered. Fearing it would get stolen, she asked my son to hold onto it for safekeeping until she found a new place to live. As a direct quote, “I haven’t even opened it yet, just sucks I’m living with a thief. When I come over, let’s set it up so at least you can use it.” He acknowledged everything she had said. Aside from the entire Xbox ordeal, the more I read the more livid I became. The things my son said to her, speaking to her in such an extremely condescending manner. I was mortified, this is not the son I raised.I took her into his room and packed up the Xbox. I was in shock to learn about this side of my son I never knew existed. I was asking questions and learned the fight started after he forgot her birthday. Days later, she was very hurt and confronted him. In return, he tossed her a wrinkled up shirt that had a $10 price tag on it. She did so much for his birthday, helped his mom decorate and throw him a party. They arrived home a few hours after she left. He just stepped over the threshold and I went off on him. It’s not like I can discipline him anymore, but I damn sure wanted him to feel shame and guilt for his appalling behavior. He kept saying that I didn’t understand, she’s only telling her side. When I informed him the Xbox was gone, he completely threw a 5 year old tantrum. He called me a ‘fucktard’ and said I had no business getting involved in his personal relationship. His mother agreed with him and asked what happened to them figuring things out on their own? Legally, she could have just gotten the law involved. Three days later he put a keyed lock on his door. AITA?",AITA for getting in the middle of my son and his girlfriend because he refused to return an item she ‘gifted’ him?,NTA -111ou35,"My work frequently provides food for good production numbers or the overtime workers, which is cool. Most of the time it is burgers or hotdogs, pasta salads, or basic common meals you'd see at potlucks or the like as they're feeding over 200 people in my building. It's free for us and provided by the company so alot of people take it.However I frequently don't or I only take singular parts from the options as I have ARFID. I can't eat certain things so I'll pick and choose or just not take anything as ill just be wasting it.For some context, when I eat food outside my safe options I become very stressed to the point of vomiting, inability to swallow, anxiety and panic attacks, hives, shakiness, vertigo, and at extremes anxiety induced aggression. Because I am an adult I often do not have to deal with my disorder being a problem. I have tailored my diet and frequently do not have issue with my limits.Today there was food but it was outside my diet so I abstained, but I asked if I could have a slice of cheese from the package they had for sandwiches. Normally they have no problem providing me some because my leader knows I don't eat much, though he doesn't know specifically why. But the other lead from a different section took issue with me asking. He slammed a plate on the table with a burger and hotdog and demanded I was going to eat it if I wanted cheese. I warned him I would not eat these items and they'd go in the garbage. He ordered me take them and eat them anyway.I hate conflict so I just took the plate and took the slice of cheese off the burger for my meal and I gave the hotdog and burger to my coworker because he said he'd eat them to skip the line. The lead asked if I ate them and my coworker said no I gave it to him and the lead got super angry and asked why. I told him it was none of his business but if you must know I have an eating disorder. He immediately took this to mean anorexia because I am very thin, put another plate on my table and sat across from me. He refused to leave or let me leave unless I ate it. I shoved the plate to him, got up and went to HR to report him with my three coworkers backing me up for proof of witness.The Lead is now fired and blames me for it and yelled at me for getting him fired over food. I feel like IATA for getting him fired over food and putting him in a difficult spot for him and his kids as I know he's a single dad.AITA?Edit one: What is ARFID; Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) was previously referred to as “Selective Eating Disorder.” ARFID is similar to anorexia in that both disorders involve limitations in the amount and/or types of food consumed, but unlike anorexia, ARFID does not involve any distress about body shape or size, or fears of fatness. It is commonly connected to texture, taste, or the sensation of swallowing or feeling full which causes discomfort.",AITA for not eating the work provided food?,NTA -111sbd7,"Hi, this is my 1st post on Reddit, and English is not my language so I apologize for the mistakes I will probably make.I'm 56F and I live with my husband (64M). We only have 1 son, 33M, who currently lives abroad and we see once a year, as it's very far away and expensive to go.We live in a small town, he moved away when he was 18 for college and never came back. We expected him to move back after he graduated, but he decided to stay where he was, since he already had a job and a girlfriend there (they got married).Our town is close to our state’s capital where his work field is very strong. Ever since his senior year in college I've been trying to convince him to move closer for a better career and to stay close to his family, he never showed interest, which I find it odd, specially since his wife also works on the same field.4 years ago, they moved abroad. I felt betrayed when he told me, he was already living 3 hours away from us, why would he choose to go even further to another country, but not the city right next to us?I never told anything besides let them know me and his father are always here if they needed us.Until recently, things were ""fine"", I miss him a lot, we text everyday but we don't get to speak to each other often. The problem is my father (84M) whose health took a dive and is very fragile. And with my son living so far, he is missing a precious time he could be spending right here, his grandad is not likely to live many years now. I told the news to my son and he was sad about it, and he came to see us and left a week ago.I was honest with him, I said his grandfather will not stay with us for so long, and since he lives so far away, he will lose the opportunity to stay close and enjoy the time he has left.He was not happy about me touching this matter, he said I was trying to guilt him into moving back.I asked him why he was doing this to me, why doesn’t he miss me and his dad? We are getting old and he is only seeing us once or twice a year. It’s cruel to us.He said he missed us, but he is happy where he is and does not plan on moving back, and he and his wife are already making plans on buying a house where they live.I couldn't take it and I burst out crying, I told him I felt abandoned, that he didn't seem to care for us and he should enjoy his family while he can because we will not be here forever.I asked what makes him think he cannot be happy living here, he didn't respond. The few days after this were very awkward and after he left, he seems to be even more distant, avoiding me and being very short on his texts.Yesterday his wife called and said my son was feeling bad and told her what happened. She called me an AH and said I had no right trying to manipulate him like that, and I should be ashamed.I don’t think I’m the AH for wanting my son closer to me, they are the AH for abandoning family behind. And I’m including her as well, since she did the same (I talk to her mother often and she is on my side)",AITA for wanting my son to move back closer to his family?,YTA -111gg37,"My long time friend, Beth (33f) and her husband, John, just had a son.When they were trying, Beth wanted me to be godmother and I was honored. The problem is she's hardcore with her beliefs. She doesn't want to expose her child to anything she doesn't agree with. One of those things is my long time boyfriend, Ira. Ira is bisexual.Beth had made her share of comments about this to the point I was ready to cut her off. She was playing mind games, insisting because of him being bi he'd cheat on me and give me something, and it was disgusting I'd even touch him. She would even make her comments towards him. In other words, Beth is disgustingly homophobic.Now because she does not want her child to be exposed to anything homosexual, she told me I could still be godmother but I could not let her child near Ira, mention Ira, or his lifestyle (which simply consists of work, school, exercise and gaming). I thanked Beth for asking me, but it was the final straw, and explained our friendship was over and to never contact me.Since the arrival of her son I guess she has been struggling. She called me crying hysterically, saying she needed help, she hated her son, and she needed someone to take him for a while. I said Beth, after the way you treated my boyfriend why the hell would I do that and hung up. This is of course where I could be the ass.Now I did contact both John and Beth's mom immediately after I hung, explaining she was in a bad state and needed someone. They both went to help her. John messaged me implying I was an absolute vile monster who deserves to burn in hell for how I acted which was...extreme, to say the least.AITA?",AITA for telling my old friend to screw off when she called me during a panic attack?,NTA -111eg7a,"I'm a Party Princess which means I dress up fictional princesses and women and have a catalogue people can pick from when they book me on what character they want. It is a job I love and I make really good money, and over the pandemic I began to do zoom calls also which was more one on one and last 40 minutes. I've been doing this for two years and it's a job I intend to continue as long as I can as it's very fulfilling to me. My boyfriend of 7 months however is rather embarrassed by this job however and doesn't want me being open to his family and friends about the job as he feels it will make me look childish or like I lack prospects which is quite irritating as I make more money than him with this job but i'd never throw that up in an argument with him.Instead I asked him why it mattered if they thought it was childish and he asked me to just do this for him to say I work somewhere more normal. I don't like lying and it is upsetting to me that he wants me to do this, but he told me it's not like I can do this job forever which I do know but while I do it I don't see why I should be ashamed.Should I keep the peace and tell a little fib?",AITA for refusing to lie to my Boyfriends Friends and Family about my job?,NTA -111hui8,"My son is legally blind but can read 20 pt font, although 24 and over is easier for him. Most ebook reading apps let you set font size, so large print is a lot more affordable than audio books or braille books, the difference between a couple of bucks and $50 or more. Because all of his schoolbooks and the books he reads for fun are ebooks, he hasn't had much reason to learn braille. We do encourage him to practice in case he needs it while out and about, but he's very resistant because he hates reading braille. But he's also at that age where he hates everything anyway.I go to support groups and am on a lot of message boards to keep up with news that is relevant to me and my kid. On Friday one of my groups had an education advocate come and talk to us. This is a topic that's very important to me because I keep track of scholarships my son is eligible for and was hoping she might know some obscure ones I haven't found yet. When it was my turn to ask a question, I asked about scholarships, and she asked for more information about my son.When I was telling her about my son, she asked how good his braille skills are, and I said they are poor because it doesn't interest him, and it's a struggle to get him to practice. She started lecturing me in front of everyone. She told me I'm not doing a good job of advocating for my son, and he's going to need braille and his lessons should all be in braille. I told her his schoolbooks aren't in braille because he can read large fonts, and she lectured me more and told me he shouldn't be forced to use materials for sighted people. I said he wasn't forced, that's what he prefers. I also asked if we could return to my original question, which was about scholarships, because that's what's most important to my family.She said what was most important was my son having independence, and that I was preventing him from doing that. I felt very insulted. I told her to fuck off and not lecture me before walking a mile in my shoes. It's easy to tell parents they suck, but I'm doing my best. She was offended, and the group asked me to leave that meeting.The general consensus is that I was oversensitive and an asshole, but I think she overstepped. I was asking her for help, not to be told I'm a shit mom.",AITA for telling an advocate to fuck off and not lecture me?,NTA -111hgvr,"Yesterday my husband went to his brother’s house for a few hours. His friends were going to celebrate Super Bowl and his birthday at his friend Johnny’s house. Usually when he’s having these boys nights, he brings our kids along so I can have a few hours by myself. Yesterday I needed to go buy valentine’s card for our preschooler’s party at school, he also needed snow boots, and formula for our babyMy husband and I agreed that since it was snowing so much, it would be safer if he came and pick up the kids instead of me dropping the kids off to him at Johnny’s house. On his way home, he called me and said if he pick up the kids then he won’t be able to really hang out with his friends. So I said, it’s fine. He can just go and he doesn’t have to pick up the kids. But just make sure he makes time to go buy formula for our baby.And then he got really upset. He started saying “What is wrong with you”, “why are you being like that”, “do you really want to argue”, “fuck you”, “I’m so sick and tired of this”. I was confused and said I was trying to make things easier. He can go to his birthday and he doesn’t have to pick up the kids, they can stay home with me since it’s snowing more than expected. Then he starts to yell at me to shut up because he’s already on his way to pick up the kids.Once he got home, he’s started kicking the door and stuffs around. He called Johnny and said he’s not coming anymore. My husband obviously sound really upset. His friend constantly asks why is he not going and that what is the real reason he’s not going, what’s going on, and does my husband needs to talk to someone, then asks if my husband wants to talk to his other friend’s SIL (idk who this SIL is). Then his friends started messaging him to go. Johnny texted him basically saying that I was problem. His other friend messaged him and just said “no wonder you couldn’t make it.” Which I’m not sure what he is implying.So yeah, all his friends are upset that I made my husband missed his own birthday party from them.Edit: first, I just want to say that I did not force my husband to bring the kids. I did not ask him nor did I beg him. HE wanted to. And then he changed his mind. And I was okay. Why am I not allowed to be okay with him not bringing the kids?Secondly, we agreed this year 2023 that he will bring the kids with him to his friends house so I can have me time. The past years, sometimes he takes one or 2 of our kids kids with him but there was never a time where I was kids free. It’s been only almost 7 weeks. He’s only brought the kids with him 2 times since this year started.",AITA for making my husband missed his birthday party that his friend threw for him?,NTA -111kns2,"TA since my husband follows my main So my husband, I’ll call him Fred (M23), recently got promoted at work and wanted me (F20) to be there for the ceremony (military promotion you can have your wife there to pin on your new rank.) I agreed and was really excited to be there for him. The point of contention here is that I have a bit of an “alternative” style and tend to wear black or dark colors exclusively with dark makeup and eyeliner most of the time, which is what he’s used to seeing me in. Fred, however, wears more casual clothing. I didn’t really want to be in a very eye-catching outfit for his promotion since it’s about him and so I wore something I thought was pretty business casual, (think: white button up blouse and black slacks, very minimal makeup.) I noticed he was very quiet and wasn’t really looking at me much during the ceremony and I just assumed it was nerves and just from being at work so I shrugged it off. Anyways, it’s all quiet for a few days until we go out and I’m dressed in my usual style that he begins just tearing apart my outfit from the promotion saying things like I looked like an old man, the pants were too high (we both checked later and he did admit it was exaggerating, the pants were fine,) and so on. I was really shocked because I assumed he’d want me to look a bit more toned down at a work event, and although I appreciated that he likes the things I usually wear it really hurt me, so I got frustrated and said that if he was so embarrassed about how I looked to just not invite me to things anymore. I admit that this was super childish, but am wondering if I’m the AH since I didn’t tell him what I’d be wearing beforehand and he got defensive and told me I made him feel bad.",AITA for telling my husband that if he was so embarrassed about what I wore to just not invite me to things anymore?,NTA -111qm6w,"When I moved into my first flat with my fiance' at 21 years old, I had saved 15k and was ready to keep saving. I went to the bank to speak to a mortgage advisor and was ready to put a down payment on a house. The advisor stated that my credit was showing a lot of red flags and that I should go home and check my profile.Upon investigation, I noticed 3 different credit cards and 1 payday loan linked to my parents address where I used to live.I immediately called the police and reported the crime. Unfortunately, the police officer was very inexperienced and instead of driving to her house and interrogating, he gave her a phone call saying that she needs to go to an interview. I get a call from the letting agents a week later and they said my mum's house was empty and that they had left it in a huge mess. The agency also stated she owed them 3k for the two months rent and that I'd have to pay it, as I was put down on the paperwork and again she forged me on there.My mum obviously fled the country as she knew there would be a great deal of trouble.I had no way of proving any of this to action fraud as they said there's not enough data or evidence that it was my mum.I am stuck to this day paying off the credit, I blew the 15k on alcohol and I lost a really good job at the time. I am now 28 years old, she's contacted me saying that she is in a dark point in her life, and I'm only just getting into a good place mentally so I've cut her off as I'm doing so bad financially and I don't trust her obviously.All I want in life is to stay sober, I've been sober for two months now and will hopefully buy a house one day.","AITA. I refuse to speak to my mum, she took 12k of credit out in my name.",NTA -111qysg,"So awhile ago i asked my best friend, of 25 years to be my best man at my wedding. He said yes and from there things were fine, I'm due to get married in March and recently him and his fiancé made the decision to speed up their wedding and get married in april.Now im not saying I expected to be his best man as I'm sure he has other friends too however I did think I would atleast get an invite to his actually wedding but this isnt the case,Me and my fiancé received a Facebook message from a group page saying we were invited to his after party but that was it.I understand the restriction of venue's but to say the least, it hurt my feelings not to be invited so I made the decision to change my best man as he hasn't really done anything a best man would do anyway, (no stag party, etc) he will still be invited to the wedding, but now I feel like im in the wrong",AITA for changing my best man for my wedding after finding out im not even being invited to his wedding just the afterparty,NTA -111hv78,"My boyfriend (m24) and I (23) were flying back home on a two hour flight at 2am. While waiting in line to board the plane, there was a family of four in front of us. A man and wife who looked to be in their 40’s, one child (I’m assuming five) and one baby who wasn’t more than two years old. The five year old was bouncing off the walls, absolutely full of energy. He was trying to ride his carry-on like a car, and kept ramming into my luggage on accident. The baby was crying very loudly as well. I felt bad for the parents because they were trying their best to keep their kids under control to no avail. When we boarded the plane, the family sat down across the aisle from me and my boyfriend. To be honest, I wasn’t happy about sitting next to a rambunctious kid and a baby who had already been crying for 15+ minutes. All seats were assigned, but the plane was half empty even with all the passengers boarded. I noticed a couple, who was sitting in front of the family, asked to move to the back, most likely because they didn’t want to sit next to the children. The flight attendants allowed them to move no problem. I decided that I also wanted to change our seats, but when I asked the flight attendant, she said no because of the weight distribution on the plane. It seemed most passengers congregated to the back of the plane to sit further away from this family. I then asked her if I could purchase first-class tickets and be moved to the front because I saw there were two seats still available. Again, she said no because all transactions had to be done at the counter before we boarded. I understood her points completely, so boyfriend and I stayed in our original seats. The baby cried for the first hour of the flight, and the older child kept bouncing in his seat and talking loudly. My boyfriend and I had noise-canceling headphones in, but could still hear the children next to us. I tried to keep a stoic expression because I didn’t want the parents to know how annoyed I was. At some point, the five-year old accidentally spilled juice on my shoes from squeezing his juice box too hard (child and I had aisle seats so we were basically next to each other). The parents side-eyed me and my boyfriend the entire flight. They apologized for the juice incident when it happened, but I felt their glares until we landed. When we were getting off the plane, I asked them “Excuse me. I noticed you and your husband keep looking in our direction. Can we help you with something”. The husband basically told me off for being rude by “putting in so much effort to get away from them” and “going as far as offering to buy first-class tickets”. I told them I didn’t mean any harm. It was the middle of the night and I was hoping to get some sleep during the flight. I wanted to find a solution without bothering anyone. AITA for asking to move seats? I just wanted a quieter without inconveniencing anyone.EDIT: Just wanted to clarify, I’m not against kids on planes. I just wanted to sit somewhere quieter so I could nap. Also, the parents didn’t stop glaring or gossiping about me until we reached baggage claim. That’s where I spoke to them. I wanted to ask them to stop staring at me, but I was worried it would be too direct, so I said what I wrote in my post.",AITA for asking to move seats on an airplane?,NTA -111hb8e,"My (now ex) boyfriend and I broke up over this. Christian (my ex) (26M) and I (25F) dated for about two years. During this time, we didn't have huge issues. We fought, we talked things out. I thought we both were on the same page about religion. He said he was not super religious, though he does attend church. He never forced me to go, but I would attend for holidays (with his family.) I met his niece (19F) Mercy several times. She is awesome. She sings, she plays several instruments, she makes music videos with her friends. She talked about wanting to go to college to study music theory (not sure the official title of the program.) Her parents encouraged her to be a teacher and said she should sing in the church. I found out that the family had no intention of letting her go to a secular college, because they think girls should get married. There was a huge argument when Mercy was accepted to \[Secular University\] on an almost full ride. They wanted her to go to a Christian University like Bob Jones. She ended up moving in with her boyfriend and took all her stuff with her. Her boyfriend ended up not being able to house her for long and she begged me to let her house her instruments at my house. I agreed. She said she had plans to couch surf until college started and then hopefully she could get aid to pay for the dorm. I live about an hour away from the university she wants to attend. I said she should stay with me. It might be a bit of a drive, but I could cover the cost of her food and shelter. I thought Christian would be overjoyed, but it led to him screaming at me about ""turning her away from God"" and this was to make her understand she was wrong. I broke up with him and still have Mercy living with me. She has been here about three months. She has been a stellar roommate for the most part. We have had discussions about guests being over at late hours, since I work from home. We also have a plan in place for her to save the money to eventually move out. But she is free to stay until graduation unless something terrible happens. I don't see that being an issue though.AITA?",AITA for taking in my (ex) boyfriend's niece?,NTA -111td6z,"Earlier in the school year, my daughter signed up for an academic overnight school trip. She seemed very enthusiastic about it, so I decided to let her go and pay the $2000 for it. My daughter has a history of severe depression and anxiety, so I asked her if she was *absolutely sure* if she wanted to go, and she said yes. However, as the overnight trip came close, she began to get very anxious about it. She begged me to let her not go. She even promised to make sure to pay me back the $2000. Every time someone brought the trip up, she would start sobbing inconsolably. Am I the asshole for still forcing her to go?",AITA for forcing my daughter to go on an overnight school trip?,YTA -111q9rx,"My friend, let’s name his Lucas, is a good guy and always friends with girls, but he always shows off when it comes to how many women he slept with.He never disrespected me or our female friends in our group, and we’re not interested in him either. He’s not conventionally attractive, he’s about 5ft6, has an underbite, thick glasses, but he is smart and charismatic.We always make fun of each other, but in a mild, friendly way. Lucas says I’m like the jokster of the group. I’m forever grateful for how supportive he was during my breakup.Yesterday we were at a friend’s place and he was talking about some specific positions he tried with women. He then tells us that the v…gina gets looser when a woman has a kid, and from 2 kids onwards it’s already super loose and he doesn’t like it. He then says that when he finds the woman he sleeps with a bit ugly, he just turns her around and does her from behind.I said: “So it’s a win for her too, because she doesn’t see your face either.”I can’t tell if he got upset or not, but all our friends told me it was a weird comment and I shouldn’t insult Lucas this way becaus he’d never do that to me and he is super nice to me. I agree, he’s always been very kind to me, but I admit that even though I was joking, I was sick of his continous remarks and objectification of women.AITA?",AITA because I (28F) indirectly called my friend (30M) “ugly”?,NTA -111stw3,"My wife suffers from chronic soft tissue pain in her neck, back and shoulders. It’s been like this for years partly due to stress and old injuries. For years she’s used a combo of CBD cream, physical therapy, pain meds and seen a masseuse once, and sometimes twice a month. Nothing really fixes it, just temporarily makes her feel better. Recently she’s started to see the masseuse two and now three times a month, and the masseuses rates have gone up as well. It’s getting really expensive. I asked her to limit her massages to once a month to manage expenses. She was upset i really feel bad. My rationale is that the massages are not a cure, and they are really costly and are had at the expense of other things our family needs. We both work and pool our income. AITA here?",AITA for asking my wife not to get massages?,YTA -111udvi,"Throw away account so it doesn't get back to me. My (M 26) girlfriend (F 24) and I recently moved into a new condo. We decided to have my family (parents, older sister, younger brothers and a cousin) and a couple friends over to watch the superbowl yesterday because we wanted to show off the new place.For context my girlfriend is a big Rihanna fan and was extremely excited for the half time show. She's black and originally came to the U.S. as an international student from Barbados (apparently Rihanna is too) and wound up staying for work. When the performance started gf adorably lost her goddamn mind, singing and dancing with me, just generally a good time while everyone else commented on the performance, the outfits and if Rihanna was pregnant or not. Nobody seemed bothered at the time.While everyone was leaving and my gf had started her night routine in the bathroom, my mom joked about my gf being a little inappropriate with her dancing. She was whining and twerking on me a little at some points but it wasn't really overtly sexual or crude, just her being silly. The conversation ended there because I didn't take my mom's comment seriously. Now today around noon she facetimes me and again comments on gf's behavior. I asked her if she was serious and she confirmed so. After a back and forth she wound up using the words ghetto and vulgar to describe my gf and I got angry fast. I told her to stop being a racist asshole and that gf was just excited to see the performance and she was the only one complaining. Mom asked what she said about race and I was basically yelling that my gf's culture includes things like that and it wasn't inherently vulgar, at least in this context. Mom hung up mid argument and later I get calls from my dad and older sister berating me for hurting my mom's feelings. I don't know if this was initially my sister's feelings or if mom swayed her but she said ""it was a little ghetto, that's how they can be."" I got pissed off again, especially at the word they and yelled at sis. Now my entire family is pissed at me except for the youngest brother (16) who does think mom and sis were judging too harshly. I haven't told gf yet because I don't wanna ruin her good mood about the night. I intend to before she can hear it elsewhere but from my standpoint she just enjoyed herself seeing one of her favorite artists perform for the first time in years and I hate to dampen her mood. Am I being TA here?",AITA for calling my mom racist,NTA -111ctbk,"I (31 y/o M) have been living with my grandma (84 y/o F) since June of 2022. We’re in Canada if that matters for context.It was serendipitous timing for the both of us that she was struggling to do house chores living here alone & I was looking for a new place to live. It seemed like a no-brainer: I can live rent-free & she has an able bodied person to do all the physical work around the place.I should mention how she has macular degeneration in her eyes & it has gotten exponentially worse over the last few years. By September, she ceded all driving responsibilities to me. Meaning she needs me to take her to the 3 different grocery stores she goes to (depending what’s on sale), the drug store, bank & the place I despise the most: Costco.Don’t get me wrong; Costco is essential to a family on a limited budget, but it is not a safe place for an 84 year old woman who is nearly blind & has poor balance. People are constantly frustrated when stuck behind her & seem to always be in a hurry at that warehouse of a store.She doesn’t agree & insists how she “loves Costco” & it’s her favourite place to shop…She can easily waste two hours in there talking to all the employees & I’ve had enough of her wasting my free time. She claims going to Costco is a social outing but I disagree because the people on the other side are forced to be nice or they will be fired. Me & my relatives have tried to get her to go to the seniors club but she adamantly refuses & maintains shopping is all the socializing she needs.It got to the point where she wouldn’t even give me the list of groceries so I can run ahead & grab a few things to speed up the process.I should mention I’m tutoring in the evenings & that’s why I am able to take my grandma shopping during the daytime.Anyways, I decided since she won’t let me do the shopping (& save us both an hour of our days) that she can do the shopping alone, while I sit in the car & catch up on emails/other digital work I can do on my phone.I now just drive her to Costco, get out & grab her a buggy (for stability reasons) then send her off on her merry way. Last week she took almost two hours even though she said “it will be quick today” right before she got out of the car. I had to go in & find her to make sure everything was ok & found her in a panic/sweating/claiming she was going to pass out…all because she couldn’t find crackers.I should make it clear my grandma was born in 1938 Germany (google what political party was in power & you’ll get my point). She has severely untreated post-traumatic stress in the form of OCD & one thing she fixates on is not going home unless she got everything on her list…to the point she almost passed out.So tell me reddit, AITA? I keep volunteering to do all the shopping myself & that brings out extremely defensive reactions out of her…I feel if she had a social life with friends & not whoever works at the stores we shop at: this wouldn’t be such a big deal…",AITA for not going into Costco with my grandma when I drive her there?,YTA -111e1wg,"Context: My (43F) husband (37M) has a fraternal twin brother. They are very different people. BIL was always social, an athlete, and liked to party. He's now a police officer. My husband was an introvert, scholarly, and liked to read. He served in the Army and is now a lawyer. They didn't socialize much as kids, because they didn't have a lot in common, but my husband considered their relationship to be good.Both brothers married about 11 years ago, within a few months of each other. The four of us got along well at first, despite having different interests, and I hoped we'd have a friendly in-law relationship. However, the relationship has steadily deteriorated over time. There has never been an overt fight, but at this stage neither couple is interested in being in a room with the other. From our perspective, BIL and SIL just don't seem to like us (which is confusing but is their right), and this plays out in exclusionary ways (which isn't ok). Examples:* They ask us when we will be available for family Christmas Eve dinner, and then deliberately host the event for a time we said we'd still be at work* They invite the immediate family to a dinner for their child's birthday, but then serve only pizza and cake, despite knowing that I'm gluten-intolerant.We're currently at an inflection point, because the animosity between the two brothers is now causing tensions between my husband and his parents, which may ultimately result in a no-contact decision. I'm reflecting on what brought us here. I know that there political and socioeconomic differences between our two families that have caused tensions, but on a personal level I know we've tried to be kind and helpful family members. However, I keep thinking about one event early on in our marriage(s) in which I might have been the asshole, and wondering/worrying if that was the turning point that starting building their animosity towards us.For my BIL's first birthday after their wedding, my SIL planned a large surprise birthday for him, to be held on the day of his birthday. She invited their friends, her family, and our entire extended family, including my husband and I. She did not acknowledge that it was also my husband's birthday. On a personal level, I thought this was incredibly rude. My husband felt unenthusiastic and weird about spending his birthday at a party that was only to celebrate his twin's birthday. I wanted my husband to be able to feel special on his birthday, so we politely declined the invitation and went out to a nice dinner, just the two of us. This felt reasonable to me, but I also feel like the tension between the two couples began growing after that event, ultimately leading us to where we are today. Were we the assholes for not attending his twin's surprise birthday party?",AITA for boycotting my husband's twin brother's surprise family birthday party?,NTA -111sxkq,"I am (16)M and my Mom has recently had 2 babies, After she divorced my Dad she met up with this new guy who is honestly a pretty decent guy. However 2 years into the relationship she told me that she was pregnant, being a freshman in high school it sounds horrific having a baby brother, I can’t have girls or friends over without being questioned and told how weird it is, I told her “Oh that’s great” and waited 9 months for this baby to be born, after he was born things weren’t awful, I mean it’s kinda nice having a little brother. Unfortunately a medical miracle happened and my mom somehow got pregnant again only 10 months after giving birth and I was mortified. The second little bundle of grief was born and life sucked, it immediately felt like all the attention was gone. I understand that babies are high maintenance but at least a conversation would have been appreciated. Throughout high school things just got worse and worse, the screaming, the shit, the destruction and it never failed to make me miserable. What has pissed me off most is the fact that now one of my little brothers is old enough to open my door to my room and I hate it, my room is the one place in my tiny house where I can just have peace and privacy and now that’s taken from me, so much stuff has been broken or almost broken because of them entering my room, and I constantly tell my mother that I don’t want them in my room but she just repeats the same annoying bullshit that “My room is a privilege and that I need to spend time with my brothers” but honestly I couldn’t give a shit about them. I don’t hate them nor resent them I just don’t care for them, I’m 16 and I have a ton of things I’d rather be doing and hanging out with babies that I have no care for is not one of them. What’s worse is how much my mother demands that I watch them and take care of their needs, these are not my kids and not my responsibility however I am constantly yelled at by her, my step father, and my biological father that I need to take care of them. Today was the final straw, I was just relaxing when they barged in,I told the, to get out but was met by a rotten scowl from my mother and she yelled at me to keep them in, immediately my switch was thrown of the floor, my desk was completely trashed, and my phone was being yanked out of my hands by my toddler brother, I was fed up and yelled at my mom to just leave because I don’t have any desire to spend time with them and to stop forcing me to love them. She gave me another scowl and told me that I no longer get my allowance or my console because I’m being cruel and heartless. So tell me, Am I the Asshole?",AITA for telling my mom I don’t care about my little brothers,NTA -111cple,"My husband and I are VERY nervous about putting our son in daycare. We feel more comfortable with family members or family friends. For the past 3 years, we had the same family friend babysitting while we both went to work. I had to stop using him ( the dad, family friend ) since he's in the process of moving, so his son offered to watch my son. I grew up with this family, so no sweat. Same house, we don't have to inconvenience ourselves and go far out.The son has fallen on hard times and can no longer babysit, his father is moving by the end of this month. Ever since his dad stopped babysitting, I had to get his son to help as well as my mom.They both started bailing on me at the LAST minute. My husband and I decided to bite the bullet and put our son in daycare. At least he can talk now and is potty trained, so if something happens, he can tell us.My mom bailed on me today, we found a daycare and enrolled our son and told my mom I no longer need her for Thursday and Friday ( just those two days, I didn't even explain we found permanent child care ). She flipped out and messaged me: ""So I guess I'm never going to see y grandson anymore that's a shame who's keeping him now I knew this was going to happen what about ur momas feelings when I'm dead and gone I know you won't cry u don't love me and u never will""She bailed on us for the last two weeks, from she's waiting for her shoes to get delivered to ""I have a monthly expectation, it's the same date every month but I always wait for the last minute to clean anything."" She'll tell me the very last minute that she can't babysit, we can't afford to lose our jobs so we put him in daycare now she's messaging me non stop about how I never loved her.She should be grateful I'm giving her a chance to be a grandma after how her and my dad ( RIP ) abused me growing up. Honestly, she acts like she doesn't remember the abuse at all and can't even fathom disciplining my son. She calls me all at the time at work so I can tell my son, ""Don't do that. Listen to grandma. Go in the corner."" I don't want her or ANYONE to spank my son, I just can't believe she made me pick out my own tree branch to get spanked with but she now draws the line at asking a toddler to go in a corner.Td;lr, my mom/family friend kept dropping the ball, we paid for them to watch our son, and they canceled at last minute on us. One time, my friend messaged me at 2AM saying he just got home and can't babysit. I don't wake up until 3:30AM for work. Trying to find someone at 3AM to babysit at the last minute is nearly impossible.",AITA for telling my mom she no longer has to babysit?,NTA -111wgj3,"My (25F) brother (28) got married eight months ago to his highschool sweetheart. She was a sweet girl and my family loved her. Even my extended family liked her and included her in all family events. But once he proposed, she turned into a full blown bridezilla, controlling everything and not compromising on anything that would 'ruin' her perfect dream wedding, hurting almost everyone in the process one way or the other. Now she is not welcome in my grandparents and aunt's houses, most of her friends have distanced themselves from her. Two months ago my BF proposed and his grandparents wanted our wedding to be held at earliest as he is the first born in his family, they were excited about the wedding. We decided we would have a small and intimate wedding with only family and really close friends and a nice honeymoon as we both are really busy with work and could really use a long vacation, also I had no time or desire to micromanage every little thing about the wedding.We chose to have our wedding in the huge backyard of my grandparent's house and they were extremely happy we did. Our grandparents, parents, siblings and friends all made speeches and we were showered with love and blessings. The food was awesome and everybody danced till midnight. We all had a great time. Last week we returned from our honeymoon and I was at my mother's showing her some photos when my SIL came in. As I was talking to mom about how happy my grandma was on the day of my wedding, my SIL started making fun and mocking saying she never thought we were such penny pinchers and that there was no theme or color scheme or any thought given to make the day special and I would not even want to see the bland boring pics from the day down the years.I tried to avoid saying anything but the photo part really got me. I, with a smile said ""Well I may or may not look at the pics, but whenever I will, I won't wonder why all these people who loved me so dearly cut me out of their lives and why I am not welcome in their homes any more?""She started waterworks and left. My mother said she stRted it and had it coming. But my brother said I should have sucked it up and not reminded SIL of the fact that now not many people want to have anything to do with her. She is already hurting and I just put salt to her wound. My parents and husband think I am not wrong because I did not start it but my brother said that put him in a tight spot and for his sake I should just apologize and move forward. I don't want to do that. AITA?",AITA for telling my SIL to shut up after she made snide remarks about my wedding?,NTA -111i37l,"I wanted to get a gut-check on this situation.I went to a tiny school that had Kindergarten through 8th grade. Most classes were combined into multiple grades.In my 7th-8th grade class I fell into the ""mean girl"" group. We wore goth-like makeup, smoked cigs we stole from our parents, and told ourselves we were in a girl gang even though the toughest thing we did was flip off passing cars by the road. It was as cringey as you could imagine.Anyway, there was this boy I'll call Danny (not a real name). He was undersized and just a whiny, annoying boy in general. None of the other boys liked him because he was a tattle-tale.I guess he developed a crush on someone in my girl group because he would follow us around the school yard at recess, insist on sitting with us on school projects, and just get close at every opportunity.My most vivid memory of him was when we were forced to group up during a group project in class.>Him: (Out of the blue) It's not my fault I'm short because I take pills for my heart. > >Friend: Oh. > >Him: And if I stop then I'll die. You don't want me to **DIE**, do you? > >Us: Awkward silence. > >Finally I said something like: No... just keep taking your pills? > >Him: Maybe I won't! People won't let me sit with them. Maybe I'll just **die**. > >Us: Incredibly awkward silence. > >Me: Just... keep taking your heart pills.Looking back as an adult it was clearly a cry for help, but as a 12-year-old I knew if I gave him much encouragement at all, he would latch on like a lamprey and never let go.Finally after Danny following us around the school yard (and us screaming at him to leave us alone), he threatened to tell people we were smoking behind the trees. One of my friends complained to the teacher for him being annoying. Danny was finally moved to another part of the classroom where he latched onto another group, and the cycle began again.I don't remember gossiping about him afterwards. He was... such a non-entity in my life.Anyway, fast-forward waaaay too many years. I'm turning 40 soon, y'all. It's been awhile.Suddenly, I get a message from Danny on Facebook. (Guess he kept taking those heart pills after all.) He reconnected by demanding an apology for all the years of hell I put him through.I might be the asshole here but there is no way in hell I'm apologizing for not letting him follow us around and be annoying. We were enforcing boundaries.On the other hand, he had zero friends when even the autistic girl in our class did. It couldn't have been easy for him.Instinctively, I knew then that if I gave him attention I would never be able to shake free from him. And I don't feel like giving him attention now as an adult. I think I'll just unfriend and block him without a word. He might feel he finally got the opportunity to ""tell me off"", but I don't care.But I need the gut check from the internet hive mind.So AITA for not apologizing for rejecting the ostracized kid?",AITA For Not Apologizing For Being A Middle School Mean Girl?,NTA -111dbo8,"I go for a run in my neighborhood multiple times a week. I've got a lap down in my neighborhood that is pretty much a perfect mile so often times I run this so I know how far i've run. This morning down a side street I notice a guy chasing a dog. The dog is semi approaching me but its still probably 100 yards away, I'd guess 50 pounds, no idea what breed. The guy starts yelling at me asking if I can grab his dog for him. I act like I don't hear him and keep running. I hear him frantically trying to get the dog to come back and he is trying to catch it. I just keep running and eventually get away from what was going on. About a dozen times i've been chased by dogs in my neighborhood over the 10 years i've lived here. I don't enjoy this experience and early on living in the neighborhood even had an owner blame me because I caused his dog to react as I ran by that house. I've had to jump in the beds of strange pick ups to get away a few time. So i'm not much of a fan of the dogs (or owners) in my neighborhood after these experiences. As I circle back around to where the loose dog situation was I see the owner still out looking. He sees me and he is angry and stops me. He says he can't find his dog and have I seen it? I say I haven't seen it since the last time I ran by. He mentions he asked me to grab it since it was headed my way. I respond with ""sorry man, i'm not grabbing a strange dog. I don't know what its going to do to me"". He's mad with that answer so I leave and continue my run. I get about a quarter mile away and I see his dog. Its approaching a lady walking her dogs. I even here her ""oh, where is your owner"". I say nothing and run home. Was I the asshole?",AITA for not helping a neighbor who's dog got loose,YTA -111p9dl,"Before I start, I love my friend to pieces and this story is not going to reflect that. My friend is a really good dude, let’s call him Greg, but he is also extremely insecure and has a big ego which is a deadly combination.My mere existence is emasculating for him. I am a woman and we were peers in college. I now hold a director position in tech making 6 figures and he is a doorman at an apartment complex.He has made subtle jabs before at me, but I largely ignored it. One was when I invited our group of friends over to my recently purchased home, and he mumbled “wow Daddy’s money is nice!”. When we go out to eat just us 2, I largely pay for him… interesting he doesn’t bring up “Daddy’s money” when it benefits him. He's sweet when its just us, but condescending in groups.He’s been getting really into “finance bro” stuff like investing in stocks and crypto. And he’s been getting on my nerves, trying to give me a bunch of advice on stocks I need to invest in, I largely ignore him.Recently, our group of friends went out to dinner. I mention that I had finally purchased a new car since my old 2005 Honda is out of commission. I bought a used 2022 Honda… nothing fancy. He asked about my monthly payments, I said I didn’t have any. I bought my car outright. And he said “Wow you’re bad with money, you should never have more than 20K in your checking account, you’re losing money on investments.”I said “My CPA seems to think its fine”, and he said “well you should fire your CPA because he’s a quack, I’ll help you with your finances”, so I responded “huh, who should I listen to for financial advice? A professional Harvard grad with decades of experience, or a guy with less than 20K in his checking account with a degree in YouTube university?”It was an awkward 5 second silence after this before someone changed the subject. He didn’t speak up at dinner again. Later he texted me that I was an asshole for embarrassing him like that in front of our friends. My other friends seem to think I should apologize too just to keep the peace but I disagree. Yes I talked back and probably hurt his ego, and I get that he’s embarrassed about his financial situation and was just overcompensating for that. But he had been making jabs at me all night (example: my other friend talked about a career change and asked me to keep an eye out on open positions. Greg responds “I highly doubt OP has any sway in her company, you’re better off cold emailing people on LinkedIn”. We both ignored him and continued chatting). This is the ONE time I talked back.I'm tired of always being the bigger person just because Greg is going through a hard time.TLDR: Friend has is only condescending towards me about finances. I talked back and made him insecure. AITA?",AITA for telling my broke friend I don’t need any financial advice from him?,NTA -111p47k,"I (18 F) drive a brand new 2023 gr 86 that my parents got me as a gift. They bought it for me as a late graduation/ early Christmas gift. I’ve had it since November and now that it’s spring the snows starting to melt and the roads are grimy, and the cars white so it was bound to get dirty. It’s my everyday car.Ever since I had gotten it my boyfriends dad (M 48) has said to me “a kid like you shouldn’t have a car like that”. Which yeah i get it (I’ve been in two accidents both totaling my car when I was 16) but I didn’t buy it. In the past he’s asked me to test drive it. I was never comfortable with anyone driving my cars especially now, and that it was always snowy. I would say a stern no and just leave it at that. Yesterday my car was absolutely covered in dirty water mud. I am planning on washing it soon, but not until I know it will stay warm. I was over at boyfriends house getting ready to make food and boyfriends dad walks it.He says he’s going to get groceries and asked if I needed anything. I wanted cheese, but didn’t need it. He said ok and asked if he could take my car. I said no and his response was “well I’m buying your groceries i should be able to drive your car, and it has better gas mileage” I said no and that he doesn’t need to buy cheese. When he comes back he comes in with milk and snacks for the Super Bowl. He starts talking to me like casually ( we aren’t close in any way shape or form) and says that my car is filthy. I told him that i knew and that i was waiting until it got warmer to wash my car.He insists on taking my car to the car wash and paying for it. I declined because i just don’t trust other people with something as valuable as a new car. He just got upset and told me to leave so i did. I think this is a weird situation. Maybe I’m wrong for not letting him take my car. maybe other people can tell me if I’m just being mean about it.",AITA for not letting my boyfriends dad wash my car?,NTA -111hkd3,"AITA for leaving my ex’s Xbox on the porch?My 25f ex 25m and I broke up before Christmas, and he left his Xbox, as well as some other stuff at my place. He keeps saying he’s going to come get it or offering o make plans to figure out how to get it to him, but he keeps flopping.Yesterday he called me in the morning saying that he was going to come get it after work, I told him I had plans already with my friends that I didn’t really want to cancel on because he has flopped so many times on saying he’s coming to get his shit. He started yelling at me on the phone saying that I’m holding his stuff hostage/I’m being petty bc I can’t get over the break up etc he even threatened to take me to court if I didn’t give it to him that day.He does not have a key to my place so I went out and left his stuff, including his c box on my porch. He got it back but called me names via text saying that it could’ve gotten stolen and I am so petty for this. (It didn’t get stolen, obviously) I don’t feel I did anything wrong because I think he was wrong for demanding me stay home in case he showed up, but I told my mom and she sided with him so now idk",AITA for leaving my ex’s Xbox on the porch?,NTA -111rjqa,"I feel insane typing this out. Years ago when I was 21, I met a 35 year old man in college. He was smart and helped me a lot throughout our chemistry course. He developed a liking towards me, however he came on too strongly and I rejected his advances.First came the expansive gifts. AirPods. $500 Coach bags. Fancy chocolates. All of which I kindly rejected as I did not want to lead him on.Then came his confession of love towards me, to which I sternly rejected. He didn’t take that lightly and continued to harass and stalk me for the next few months, texting me things from random numbers saying he wants me to “sit on his face.” Ew.Fast forward to now, I finally got him off my back (or so I thought) because I just found out today that my own twin sister has been texting him for months and receiving gifts from him.Of course I flipped out. He harassed and stalked me. He made me feel uncomfortable. I don’t understand why my sister thinks it’s OKAY to keep in contact with him? I feel like this should be obvious to her.Do I have the right to be peeved?Edit: Yes, this guy is a creep, and my sister is fully aware of it. Just to give an example, I had a babysitting job with an adorable 5 year old girl and she loved taking selfies with me on my phone. Mama of said girl posted a few of those pictures to her instagram, to which the creep later admitted to finding and jerking off to. My sister knows all of this. Yes, I am concerned for her safety but for some reason she just WON’T listen to me.",AITA for demanding my sister stops talking to the man who consistently stalked and harassed me?,NTA -111fqq6,"I’m on mobile so I apologise for any formatting issues.So recently my neighbours went away on holiday and they used to ask me to feed their cat and look after him while they were gone, but this time they didn’t ask anyone. I spoke to the other neighbours and they also were not asked, and were growing concerned for this cat as he’s very old so probably isn’t able to really fend for himself that well anymore. It’s probably also important to note that this cat went from being allowed in their house to being a completely outdoor cat. I went out and bought some food for him because you could tell he was really hungry and I kept feeding him while they were gone, assuming they’d be feeding him when they came back. The issue is is that they’re not feeding him, he still looks very hungry and not too happy. The other day I watched him try and go into their house for food and they kicked him back out of the house and there hasn’t been a bowl put outside for him. So I’ve continued feeding him but when I mentioned tonight that I needed to buy cat food, my mum went off on me saying that it’s rude to feed somebody else’s cat and it’ll cause unnecessary tension. My dad also agreed with her. However, the way I see it is that it’s surely only rude if they’re actually caring for the cat, but they’re not and every one of my neighbours is expressing concern for this cat on the streets’ group chat. I just wanted to get an outside opinion on the whole situation as I tend to get a bit emotional when it comes to animals and their well-being. So AITA for feeding my neighbours’ basically abandoned cat?",AITA for feeding my neighbour’s cat?,NTA -111lejz,"I've been on my sister's (30's) apartment lease for the last 7 years. I was put on it at 15 as she made too much money for the income restricted apartment complex. I'm now in my early 20s, recently got married, and am wanting to get my own apartment. She wants me to be on it for another year, but told her no as I'm not comfortable anymore. Especially since she wants me to put that I'm single and make zero income, which is not true at all. I feel that lying that way will come back to bite me in the ass. After telling her no, she blew up trying to guilt me and our mom that her and my niece will be homeless. Knowing my sister, she's probably going to cut all communication with me. I feel terrible losing family like this and don't want anyone to be homeless. Now I'm considering just doing it, but can't seem to shake the feeling that it's a bad idea. So, AITA?",AITA for not being on my sister's lease?,NTA -111vpbs,"I am a 22 y/o Female and I began dating a 27 y/o Male about a month ago. We are exclusive but not serious, which we were both fine with. Last week I expressed my period was a few days late. He became anxious about an unplanned pregnancy. I tried to assure him thar was unlikely as my period has been irregular since I was 16 and began birth control (BC) and my cycle is easily thrown off by stress and my disordered eating (I have been experiencing extreme so stress and anxiety lately)I’ve dealt with these issues for years and I know my body. A day or two later he insisted that I take a pregnancy test and I refused. He then insisted that I tell him when my last BC appointment was. I wasn’t comfortable sharing that info with him either. I said I didn’t want to talk about it, because there was nothing to worry about. Also, I was venting and sharing updates about a stressful situation that I’m currently going through. I thought that was the end of it. After another day he “suggested” that I don’t smoke or drink until he is sure I am not pregnant. Which I didn’t agree to. My period came 2 days later and delivered the update. Thinking that would put this all to rest. But the energy between us felt off still and he ended up telling me that he wanted to end things, because he didn’t like how ‘nonchalant and irresponsible” I was and how he didn’t think we were a good fit because we are so different. I thought I was just asserting my boundaries. He said that if I would have just taken the test days ago, then he wouldn’t have been worried. AITA for not taking his concerns seriously?Edit: I only shard the info about me being late cause he tracks my cycle too. And I knew he would notice the lack of tampons wrappers and me complaining.",AITA for not telling my partner when my last birth control appointment was?,YTA -111pjvf,"I (52F) have a daughter (18F). She has requested that I remove the limits because she is an adult, but as far as I’m concerned, she’s not on top of her school work and doesn’t have a job. She bought her phone, but we pay for the phone plan and I think it is within my rights to have control over her screen time. She is going to college next year, and thinks it’s unfair that she still has screen time limits on her phone, because none of her peers do. I keep telling her that when she pays for her own plan I will remove the limits. AITA for still having these limits?Edit: I took off the limits. I admit I was wrong.",AITA for having screen time limits on my daughters device,YTA -111qdio,"This is my first reddit post so I’m sorry if I make any errors while typing this. I have a guy friend (22M) we’ve been good friends for a couple years now, so we’re really close. Some background before I start he’s struggled with drugs in the past and currently is struggling with alcohol. In the past he’s gotten into two drunk driving accidents. I’ve called him out for this behavior in the past, I have no tolerance for people who drink and drive. He would always apologize and tell me he’s going to be better. Well this Saturday after a night out with a group of friends he got into another accident. He was drunk and had another friend (23F) in the car. From what they told me he floored it on his gas and hit the car behind him. The airbags went off and he tried to speed forward and hit two other parked cars. Our friend who was in the car with him called me frantically about the accident and how the cops and ambulance were there for him. Luckily he didn’t hurt anyone but he was bleeding himself. I think I should also add that he didn’t have insurance or his registration and is also currently being sued for the last two drunk driving incidents he caused. Well today he tried to talk to me and apologize for everything that happened and that he understands why I’m upset with him. I basically told him his apologies mean nothing when his actions show differently. That I’m not mad because to be mad I’d need to care and I don’t anymore, he’s a grown man and if he wants to do reckless shit he can do it and I’m not gonna waste my breathe anymore for him to change. He doesn’t have any regards for anyone else or our friend who was in the car with him. Well I told my boyfriend (24M) about my conversation with our friend and he thinks I was too harsh. He said I’m basically kicking him while he’s already down. My boyfriend thinks I need to be more compassionate since our friend now needs to pay for damages, face jail time, and possibly be deported. I told him these are the consequences of his own actions and he has plenty of opportunities to change. I also brought up the fact that I know people who were badly affected by drunk drivers. But he continues to tell me I shouldn’t have been harsh because what if he hurts himself. I’m really conflicted by this whole situation and I need to know am I the asshole?",AITA for telling my friend I don’t care about him after a car accident he caused,NTA -111v8dx,"So I (26m) was driving home from the grocery store when my wife (26f) asked me to pick up some KFC fries as a side for dinner (KFC fries are probably the best fries, but that’s not the point). I get 2 large things of fries and we split one at dinner and keep the other for the next day. Lunch the next day rolls around around and we’re heating up leftovers. I grab some chicken and half of the fries. My wife, after claiming that nothing else sounds good, eats all of her fries and then asks for the rest of mine. Shocked, I just say “no”. I didn’t even get half of the fries from the night before, and now she wants to take the fries I was currently eating because she ate all of her own. Unsurprisingly, she was shocked and hurt, but I didn’t back down and I finished my fries. AITAH for not sharing more?After prodding her for more information about why she was so upset over fries, she told me that she feels like she’s always “giving” (i.e. breastfeeding/pumping, giving her milk to the baby and always sharing her food with our toddler). She said she rarely ever asks for anything, and that it didn’t seem like I was enjoying the fries as much as she would have since I had other food that I wanted to eat but all she wanted was fries. She said she was more shocked at my tone and blatant no than my answer itself, which doesn’t make sense to me.",AITAH for not sharing my fries with my wife?,NTA -111w0sd,"First off, apologies if there are grammar mistakes or if the post seems a bit jumbled. I'm on mobile and I'm still processing what happened. I (22F) have made plans with my partner for Valentines. Just some quality time together, and maybe a movie or two. This is our first Valentine's together as a couple, and I want to enjoy it. Unfortunately, a couple years ago my maternal Grandma passed away unexpectedly on Valentine's, and that's honestly been weighing pretty heavily on my mind. I struggled with the feeling that doing anything on Valentine's would be disrespectful or selfish, and it took a lot of long talks with a couple people to work through those thoughts. Now, onto the issue. My Mom contacted me and asked if I would be visiting on Valentine's for the anniversary of my Grandma's passing. I told her no, because even if I didn't already have plans, I really don't have the money to spare. It's a long drive, and burns through over half of my tank. She got extremely upset and claimed that I didn't care enough about my family or my Grandma, and that I was just making excuses to ""stay home and bone"" like nothing happened. She said if I really cared about my Grandma, I'd spend extra to drive over there and just pick up OT at work to make up for the extra money I spent. This hurt a lot, and I honestly wasn't expecting it at all. My relationship with my Mom was super rocky, and sometimes even nonexistent, for pretty much my entire life. She just recently admitted that she made a lot of mistakes and it seemed like there was actually a chance that she would be open to change. Now, it's like all of that was just thrown to the side. The thing that makes it hard for me to just ignore her is that she was the one who got the call about my Grandma when she was coding in the hospital. My Mom was the one who had to make the decision to let my Grandma go, and I know it was traumatic for her. Her mental health is deteriorating, and I can't help but feel guilty for not being there to help her. I'm struggling with my own mental health at the same time though, so to be honest I don't think I'd be able to help her without it also hurting me. I know that what she's saying isn't true. I love my family so much, and I miss my Grandma immensely. Like I said before, it took a LOT of talking to even be ok with a chill night with my partner. Now though, I don't know if I even want to do anything anymore. My Mom's words hurt more than I thought they would, and part of me feels like she's right, and that I am being selfish. AITA?",AITA for having Valentine's Day plans?,NTA -111okr2,"So my bf (25M) and I (27f) were able to go to Hawaii because his mom had a work conference down there and she paid for the flights for the whole family (7 of us) and purchased an extra room in a beautiful resort. So there were 7 of us and two rooms, everything purchased by her. Which is insane! I was/am incredibly grateful; she is an astounding woman. When we arrive and check out the rooms, they were super nice but on different floors which didn’t make much of a difference to anyone, because elevators are a thing. Here is where I’m afraid I was an AH. Upon figuring out who was in what room, it was chaotic the two youngest wanted to be together and everyone was kinda speaking up and groaning and I said I would sleep on the floor for all I cared as long as I was with my bf, maybe we can just figure it out later and get some food. But then she said how about we just do a guys and girls room. Some important info that wasn’t communicated effectively to her is that I have autism and severe anxiety which gives me nightmares that I wake up yelling from 50% of the time I stay anywhere that isn’t home. But she knows the nightmare thing before because she’s been around me when it happened before. So my anxiety is increasing as this boy/girl room thing is happening bc I know I will be super uncomfortable staying with his mom, and basically away from him. And so I speak up and say we’ll i really wanted to room with ‘my bf’ and she just stopped mid sentence and looks at me with an angry/ annoyed expression. I tried to explain that since we lived together he and I kinda split our stuff in each others suitcases and stuff but I was honestly so scared I don’t even remember exactly what I said. The whole thing is kinda blurry after that but basically we got settled into our rooms with the kids(including my bf and myself) in one room and the adults in the other. And then she texted my bf “wow” and basically saying she couldn’t believe how ungrateful I was. I started crying bc I am so incredibly grateful for that opportunity I just get really afraid and knew I���d be uncomfortable and I typically don’t speak up soo I was just really frustrated and mad at myself I guess. I tried to apologize the next day but it seemed like she didn’t care about my words and we bought her a massage in the middle of the trip out of appreciation but she only thanked my bf, which is fine but it kinda reinforces the idea she was still mad at me. I still feel like a huge AH, but the kids in the group tried to assure me she was just stressed,regardless I plan on making her something from the family picture we took, just of her and her kids as a thank you. But I still wanna know if I was an AH.",AITA for wanting to share a hotel room with my bf in Hawaii,YTA -111i4w5,"My fiance and I are planning our wedding and we've come to realize its very expensive. Especially since we are also saving up to buy a house, so we are trying to save money as much as we can. We've been looking for an affordable venue for our wedding and have been having issues, so my MIL offered up her backyard. Its a small backyard in a suburban area.However there is just some part of me that really doesn't want a back yard wedding. I've either missed important life events or had to accept the bare essentials of them. I couldn't attend my graduation ceremony because the students had to pay for their gowns, my family couldn't afford it. My prom was black tie and had a ticket cost of $150, couldn't afford it. My birthday parties were shared with my Dad (10 days apart)and any gifts I got i had to share with my siblings. I truly want our wedding day to be special, and I'm worried about it just becoming another day where we just go visit his parents and have a BBQ in the backyard. I'm also worried about any day-of accidents and what if guests end up breaking something of MIL's and she ends up resenting/blaming us or something. She's also an older lady so I don't want her to have to clean up after a wedding by herself, nor do I want to spend my wedding day cleaning. We were thinking about postponing the ceremony and eloping, and then have the ceremony once we have enough saved up for a venue. But his mother seems to really like the idea of hosting our wedding. She's really sweet and I'm not sure how I can tell her a backyard wedding isn't something I want.",AITA for not wanting to have (28F)(30M) our wedding in MIL back yard?,NAH -111hfny,This happened a month ago and I’m still not sure if I reacted appropriately. So I am married to my husband he’s not from the USA originally but a communist country. This is important later. We decided to bring his son to live with us and after going through the reunification process all was approved. That’s when the drama started. Hubs left his country when his kid was 2 years and only went back once. But he remained in contact. His kid knows who he is and still sent monetary support. Hubs family was also very involved. I was the one mostly involved in the process with immigration because I’m the USA citizen and lawyer recommended it be me. Well the day before I was supposed to leave to said country. MIL calls hubs and says that when I return with kid. I should leave kid at her house until New year. Hubs said no and it got ugly. Big argument. So at that point SIL gets involved and agrees with MIL. And ugly things were said. I get involved and calm the situation and get everyone to compromise on the kid. Time to enroll the kid in school. He’s in 11th and all his credits were accepted but he was missing 2 important ones. USA history and English. Because he’s missing these they can’t place him in his 11th. Esol lady says he might be placed in 9th but she will get back to me and see what can be done. I mention this to SIL. And she then starts saying that’s illegal and blah blah. But she then reaches out kid’s mom and makes it sound way worse. So his mom is stressed and calling me and basically insinuates that because he’s not my kid. I don’t care. I ask her to remain calm and wait for the esol lady to get back to me. SIL is still on that they can’t put him in 9th and just ranting and not making sense anything she’s saying. I’m already bothered with her because of something she said to my stepson and it insinuates that I’m of no one of value. He ignores it because if I hadn’t done it he would still be living in his country. I try to rationalize with SIL but she’s not trying to listen and goes off on me. I block her. Issue with stepson and school has been resolved so to speak. I informed my husband and his ex that from this point on. Any info on stepson will only be shared to them since they are the parents. And that I will no longer be speaking to SIL. She became so dramatic and disrespectful that hubs has gone NC with SIL also. Because she started throwing in his face how he was never there to raise his son and never visited. The reason for this is because my husband hates communism and refused to spend his money by going to visit. So AITA for cutting her off?,AITA for cutting my SIL off and refuse to give her any info on my stepson,NTA -111uz6x,"My sister (25f) asked me (23f) if she can borrow my car the past Saturday because she recently totaled her car. I had some things to do so I told her I can drive her to and from work instead. Saturday morning, I drove her to work and everything was fine. The drive from her workplace to her apartment is about 45 minutes. That evening when I went to pick her up, she asked me if she can smoke in my car because she had a really stressful day. I do not smoke, and I cannot stand the smell of smoke, so I told her no. I didn't want my car to smell like it. She said she would open the window so it wouldn't smell so bad, but that didn't matter, I didn't want her to smoke in my car. She equated me to a female dog but then agreed to not smoke and hopped in my car. About 10 minutes into the drive, she pulled out a cigarette and lit it up. I got really upset at her because I had already told her I didn't want her smoking. She rolled down the window and started smoking anyway. I told her to put it out otherwise she can get out of my car. She refused, so I took the next exit, stopped at a gas station and told her to get out. She refused to get out because we still had to be on the road for another half hour before we got home. She told me she would finish that cigarette and then stop. I told her I didn't trust her not to smoke in my car again and that I already warned her and she didn't listen. We got into a screaming match, but it ended with her getting out of my car and getting an Uber back. (I didnt just leave her there. I made sure the uber was there before i left.) She told my family about it and they are blowing up my phone about how horrible I am for abandoning her in the middle of the drive back home. Aita?",AITA for kicking my sister out of my car?,NTA -111r5bc,"Context: I [27M] am Asian and have lived in the East coast majority of my life. The family member in question is my older brother who is 11 years older than me. My parents are extremely conservative and have not adapted since moving to the states. My older brother has acted as a guardian to me and I thought I considered him fairly close. However, since graduating, we have been getting into more disagreements. He went to an Ivy League law school and married a white woman, which was not approved by our conservative parents. I spent a lot of time and energy during my undergrad to defend him against my parents and provide my brother emotional support. One thing to note is that my brother has also picked up some of our father's narcissistic and gaslighting traits.Actual Situation:During undergrad and masters, I never had a chance to be dating anyone cause I had a very intense engineering program. Eventually, I finally met my current girlfriend (Non-Asian) who I enjoyed spending time with. She is in the humanities/arts field. I found her creativity and kind spirit to be a breath of fresh air and we just have so much fun hanging out with each other. She earns a lot less than me as am elementary teacher but is passionate and ambitious. In addition, she is trying to creating a startup, which she spends a lot of time working on.Presently, we are doing long distance because I got a brand new job. Since our firm unofficially closes for the last 2 weeks of the year, I decided to spend 4-5 days at her parent’s house with my new free time.After I got back, my brother started ripping me apart for spending that long at her family’s house as opposed to our family. I told him I didn’t realize we had any family plans. Also, I don’t get to spend as much time with my girlfriend like I used to since we are long distance. Then he shifted into revealing that he does not like my choice of girlfriend and started listing all the insulting reasons why she isn’t great. He thinks I could do a lot better and says she has no bright future due to her income and profession. At this point it’s been an hour of him ranting at me and I am clearly in distraught over this new revelation and in tears. He calls me immature and says how are we supposed to defend this women to our parents when she is also Non-Asian and has a low paying job. He says that at least his wife was a lawyer so it was easier to convince my parents. He says I don’t understand why you can’t date one of the girls I swiped for you on the dating apps.This whole experience made me realize I don’t have any boundaries with my brother. I told him that I would no longer share this part of my life with him, but he claimed that I am a spoiled and ungrateful child.WIBTA if I decided to no longer share personal information with my brother about my life even though I might abandoning the family?",WIBTA for ignoring my brother about his opinions regarding my girlfriend despite him saying I am abandoning family?,NTA -111j5xk,"I 48m have been with my gf 43f for about 2 years. I adore/love/worship this woman. She has the biggest heart of ANY person Ive ever met, some of the things shes done in life are things that would have never occurred to me. Shes also unbelievably beautiful. I thought I was lucky when she agreed to a second date and I still feel incredibly lucky two years later.I hate the way she dresses. I hate it with a passion. Sometimes she dresses in the stereotypical suburbia athleisure which i dont mind so much because its comfortable but other times .. . . its groovy meets Iggy Pop fangirl and .... i dont think those styles mesh? but more that that .... we are older .... maybe nows the time to tone it down a bit. She recently dyed her hair emerald green because she always wanted to have mermaid hair? (She does have REALLY long hair past her bottom, which is another thing I dont like but I will let go)We moved in together and I saw a chance to get her some new clothes without mentioning that I loathe the way she dresses. So when she was at work I checked some sizes and ordered her clothes Id love to see her in. They arrived today. She was thrilled at first but by the time she opened the last box (there were only 3) she was a little more quiet. She asked me why I thought she would like some of these things and I told her, they are for me. I like them. She is now upset because she says she never tried to dress me. She asked if I ever considered that I dressed in a manner she doesnt like, but honestly as BEAUTIFUL as she absolutely is, maybe its time to hang up the angsty kid clothes.EDIT: I get it. Im an asshole. Two years ago I met an AMAZING WOMAN. Then I moved in with her and tried to drag her into MY comfort zone instead of realizingone of the things I like about her, she has never lived in my comfort zone. If i stayed in the zone two years ago, we would not be a couple. I labeled it as tact instead of manipulation. That was wrong .EDIT 2: Are you people kidding me? I love every single message I got telling me a way I can better communicate with my gf, I wasnt kidding when I said I love her. (I will brag on her all day) You know what i dont like ..... getting messages telling me she owes me a ball draining? she owes me shit ..... and also thats a gross way to say what you mean. Maybe you are mad you never got a woman like mine, and maybe thats the lesson, I thought I was better, but I acted like you twats. But I learned my lesson, Ima give her space and take her out to eat seafood (i HATE it, she LOVES it, but she never eats it cuz of me, she does so much for me, i didnt realize, until i posted it on reddit, which i dont recommend, reddit will ALWAYS go for the jugular)",AITA for buying my gf clothes?,YTA -111tmom,"My partner and I recently moved into a new place. When moving in, we put our bed in some bay windows that face the street. Our bed does not have a headboard, so the mattress is pushed up against the windows. Pretty quickly in I started having trouble sleeping due to noise, cold air, and lights coming from the street. We have curtains, but these things were still affecting how I slept. In an effort to sleep better, I suggested to my partner that we rotate our sleeping arrangement so that our heads are further away from the window and our feet are close to the window. She said that she will not sleep the opposite direction because she needs the window behind her back to sit up and read before bed. Alternatively, she suggests that I get headphones and a sleep mask instead. I did do this but still find it challenging to sleep. We are now sleeping head-to-foot in the bed every night. I am unhappy with this but she is not willing to lay a different way and we are at a standstill. There's extremely limited space in our apartment to move the bed to a new location. I have suggested we do this and she said she ""will think about it"". Am I the asshole for sleeping the opposite way?",AITA for sleeping head-to-foot with my spouse?,NTA -111fu6d,"I've left my husband. We share a child who he sees regularly. I love cats, had them my entire childhood. But haven't been able to for years because of his allergy. He's very vocal about it, I think I'm more worried about him kicking off than actually making him ill. He's stayed in a house with a cat before and not had a major physical reaction although complained about a scratchy throat and shortness of breath. Could I make it work? I could just not tell him but he does come in my house alot to have dinner and to ""hand over"" I don't want DS to feel we're divided.EDIT: I wanted to keep this bit out to keep it unbiased but based on some of the advice. I can't reliably judge how severe his allergy is because I left due to abusive and controlling behaviour. So I can't really trust his word. He used to complain alot about ""allergies"" in regard to my clothes washing and hoovering skills, despite never doing either. It also means that his reaction could be extreme. I think I probably won't get one for fear of his reaction but I just wanted to know if he would be justified in his reaction I think.",WIBTA if I got a cat when my ex is allergic?,NTA -111tt0b,"My (49f) son (13m) has been bugging me and my husband to buy $65 gift for his valentine.He has been very secretive about who it it for, and he had $16 towards the gift. His godmother sent him $40 towards the cause. We found out it is for a girl he likes, but has a boyfriend. The gift is a unisex item of clothing. My husband and I are against him giving her this gift, but he insists. I do understand it's a crush, but I want to protect him at all costs... Do I let him give her the gift? And learn from this experience?EDIT... we had a family conversation about this and found out that he doesn't know if she likes him, but he wants to give her the gift to see if she likes him? The "" boyfriend and her are broken up."" I'm so confused as to what to do. Him, her, and the boyfriend all go to the same junior high.I now know that she specifically asked for this item from him a month ago. I found out from another mom that she has a boyfriend. When I asked my son, he said she and the boyfriend are broken up and my son has liked her since last year. I did order the item and have it in my closet.EDIT.. if you want to google the item, it's Empyre Loose Fit Corduroy Pants, and they are $59.95, not $65. (My bad)",AITA for not letting my son give a gift to someone that may or may not like him the same way??,NTA -111umxx,"So for my birthday weekend. I’m booking an Airbnb for me and my friends where we have a good time drinking. One of my friends is a dad with a baby. He’s always brought his baby for gatherings with our friend group and we’ve never had a problem. But there were some instances where we had parties that involved alcohol.I’m naming my friend (the dad) Tommy for privacy reasons. Tommy and his girlfriend would bring their baby to these things, and Tommy would always get drunk. One night was so bad that he threw up on my friends floor and got aggressive with people when they were trying to get him into his car so his girlfriend could drive him. Not only did she had to deal with Tommy, she also had to take care of the baby. It made me question why the baby was even there in the first place. I feel like it’s basic common sense to not drink that much if you’re bringing your child, hell you shouldn’t even bring your kid in the first place to something like this. So recently I asked Tommy if his girlfriend and his baby were coming to the Airbnb and if they were planning on staying the night, he said yes to both questions. I then explained to Tommy that his girlfriend and baby can still come to hang out for a bit but we would drink once they leave, I explained to him that since we’re drinking, it wouldn’t be a place to have your baby in. I tried to explain that to him and I even brought up how he was at my friends house that one time. He still could not understand why bringing his baby to something like this is a big deal. He seemed pretty mad when I explained to him my thoughts. I don’t know, I’m not trying to be an asshole, I just feel like this should just be a guys night where we drink and have fun for my birthday weekend and not have all of us get drunk while there’s a baby in the house. He may not like that opinion, but I feel like since I’m paying for the Airbnb and it’s my birthday and the whole reason we’re doing this is so we can drink together, I should have a say on who comes and who doesn’t.",AITA For Not Letting My Friend Bring His Baby To My Birthday,NTA -111o594,"I (19M) have been friends with someone I'll refer to as B (21F) for nearly four years. We met through a mutual friend that we are both no longer friends with. B is Black and originally from Compton, whereas I am White and from a middle-class suburb in a different state.I used to also hang around B's friends. All of them were from rough neighborhoods, threw gang signs, listened to gangsta rap, used AAVE (most of them weren't Black), and used a lot of offensive language (""retard"", ""faggot"", etc.). I should also add that I myself am gay and autistic and find those words extremely offensive when used by straight neurotypical people, and as far as I know, most of those people fit the description. Many of the times they would use that language were ""jokes"" made at my expense.What began ruining me and B's friendship was when she and all of her other friends took advantage of how bad I am at defending myself. For example, they say something one moment and say something completely different the next, and when I point it out, they make me out to be a liar. When I keep insisting that what they just said wasn't what they said before, it keeps building to the point of no return. I always back down beforehand because I'm scared of confrontation in any form. The only reason I ever really kept B around is because I felt like I needed her. For a while, she was my only friend. But now that I'm in college and I have friends that don't make me feel less than human, I feel like I can finally live without B.As of today, B is about 7 1/2 months pregnant with her first child. She invited me to the baby shower a couple of weeks ago over text, and I refused, saying it's better for my mental health to stay away from her friends, but I'd be happy to send a gift for the baby her way. She asked why, and I told her she knows why. She kept pressing the issue, so I finally let her know how I feel about her friends. She defended them, saying it's not their fault that I can't take a joke. Now I was furious. I responded with ""If I called you a fat slut and a hard-r-n-word, would you take it as a joke? Because I don't see how being called a retarded faggot by straight neurotypical people is a joke. Hopefully this baby will humble you. Goodbye.""The next day, I looked at her texts to see that she called me a racist retarded faggot and blocked me. Since then, it appears she and her friends have started a smear campaign against me on social media. I would go through what was said to me from random Instagram accounts and callers with no caller ID, but I'd rather keep my sanity. I don't think I was in the wrong for what I said and neither do my other friends, but I've been second-guessing myself about it ever since. I want to talk about it to my therapist, but I'm nervous, since he also happens to be Black. If I am in the wrong, I am open to being educated on how I could've handled this instead.So Reddit, AITA?",AITA for refusing to go to my best friend's baby shower?,NTA -111twtq,"For a little background info, I’m a 17-year-old girl whose balancing 2 jobs and senior year while my 24-year-old brother has no job and lives upstairs in our attic with his gf who also has no job. They’ll sometimes go deliver food but they spend all of that money on alcohol. My mother pays all the bills and sometimes buys groceries but that gets a little hard with all my senior fees she pays plus I go to a private school so that’s more money. Ever since I got my job I started to buy myself and my mother food so we could have something to eat for the week. I started noticing my brother coming down into the kitchen multiple times a day and the food would be gone that night. If I bought food Monday all of it would be gone by Wednesday morning. We began hiding the good food but eventually, he’d find that and eat it. I even wrote my name and do not eat on stuff but that didn’t stop him either. Once he ate all the food that was it until the next week I’d get paid and we’d only have bread pasta and cheese to eat for that week. About a month ago I went to the doctor and found out I lost a substantial amount of weight in 3 months and I decided to put my foot down since my mother never would. Every time he’d eat anything I text him a fee for the food. I’d keep nagging him and he’d eventually pay me back. Well about 2 days ago I bought a case of Ensure (which is a weight-gain protein drink) nobody else in my house would have any reason for drinking them. The next day when I woke up the whole pack of 6 was GONE. the empty case was left in the fridge. I exploded and called him and his gf losers who needed to get tf out. I let 3 years of anger out and lost it. I told them they both owe me over $1000 worth of food for these past years and I left before he could respond. while at school my mom and grandparents kept texting me about how I was out of line and how family doesn’t treat each other like this but I can’t find it in myself to care. I asked my friends what they thought and there were mixed opinions but the majority said I was out of line and should’ve let my mother handle it. so aita?",AITA for yelling at my brother and charging him every time he eats my food?,NTA -111v9gn,"I (20F), lived with my family until 6 months ago. I met a girl at college a year and a half ago, we became really good friends. I lived with my sister rent free, but I decided to move out and live alone. When I discussed this with my friend, she was excited and asked if she could be my roommate. I was excited. Here's the problem. I'm a very shy person and find it difficult to talk to new people, especially hit on them. I've had some very brief relationships, but I couldn't handle things when it got personal/physical. I knew since I was 14 that I was into men, but I had caught myself staring at this other girl (we'll call her sara) since the beginning of the term. Sara and I did become close over the past 6 months, since I took a year just to say hi. I had been developing a huge crush on her, though I didn't realize that until a week ago. Me, my roommate (we'll call her sky) went to a party last weekend. I got heavily hammered and blabbed to sara that I really liked her and kissed her. I passed out, and I haven't seen her after that night. Sky brought me home. The next morning, sky said I was a perv and a horrible friend for not revealing my sexuality before we moved in together. (She had changed a couple of times in front of me and we've slept in the same bed). Sky packed a bag and left for her mother's. AITA for not telling sky I might have been bisexual?","AITA For not telling my roommate i was ""possibly bisexual""",NTA -111un9g,"I’m a (42/M) who wants to marry my partner (30/F). We’ve been together for almost 4 years and have a 2 year old together. My future mother-in-law lives halfway across the country with my partner’s teenage sister. Future-MIL called me and told me they are planning a trip to visit us in a few weeks and want to surprise my partner so I am supposed to keep it a secret. I thought that this could be a great time for us to get married as her mom doesn’t visit often (travel is expensive) and I also know how important it is to my partner that her mom is there when we get married. I proposed to my partner that she and I get married on a day that happens to be while her mom is here (but she doesn’t know her mother is coming). So the plan is for her and I to go to the courthouse and get married. But really her mom and sister are coming too, she just doesn’t know it yet. Out of respect I also invited my parents who live about 45 minutes away and who we see all the time. My parents are extremely helpful with helping us with the baby as well as financially with a business we started last year. I invited my mom and dad out of respect and for all that they do for us. I told them it’s not necessarily a secret but it’s not something that I want to tell everybody about either. I explained that we want something very small right now and that some day we will have a “real wedding” with family and friends etc. My mother called me selfish for not inviting my siblings (I have a brother and a sister who live close to us) and said that because my partner’s sister will be attending that my siblings should be invited too. I told her that my partner doesn’t even know that her mom and sister are coming and that bringing in more people just makes it more complicated and that is something we don’t want or need. Our plan is to be simple. Also this is not my first marriage. At my previous wedding my siblings not only attended but were in the wedding party. My partner and I like the idea of having a wedding that is truly just for us; AITA because I don’t want to invite my siblings to my courthouse wedding?",AITA for not wanting to invite my siblings to my courthouse wedding?,NTA -111xf2a,"English is not my first language. I (24F) have an older (half)brother, Mike (42M) from my dad's side. My mom (48F) was 20 years younger than my dad when they had me. When i was 4 my father died. Mike, was always a part of my life and when our dad died he became like a dad to me. When i was 6, my mom married my stepdad, Dave. Dave and my mom had three boys, my maternal (half-brothers). I kinda like Dave but he was always very pushy. He wanted me to call him dad, he hated when Mike came around and when i spent time with my father's family. My mom was always in the middle. She never stoped me from seeing Mike and my paternal family but said that Dave has done so much for me i should just call him dad. Over the years the fights were constant but since i moved out they stopped. I am engaged to the love of my life(32M). A few days ago, i asker Mike if he could walk me down the aisle. He thankfully said yes. Dave found out and he got mad. He said he was more a dad to me than my ""bio"" dad and he had earned the right to walk me down the aisle. My brother and my fiance say i am NTA, my mom says she understands me but i should let dave walk me down and my brothers are saying that i am the AH.",AITA for having my brother walk me down the aisle?,NTA -111vhro,"I (F) have been preparing for college entrances since the last two years. Before any of you get confused, I'll explain the system of college entrances here. Basically we have a normal level college entrance where you can just study for your school and just spend 2-3 hours on it and clear it. The other ones are much tougher and higher level ones where you have to dedicate most of your time studying for it and focus less on the school exams. These higher-level exams are exclusive to only a few top universities.Now I've been preparing for the top ones since two whole years. Going to special institutes for this and studying for this exam for most of my time with only 2 hours per day for normal school exams. The exams are gonna be in 2 months and I've been talking to my parents about the top colleges and while talking about it, I mentioned that it would be my first time staying in hostels to which my parents got confused. I then explained to them that the top colleges have a policy of staying on-campus only and there's no off campus placement. Mind you, my parents encouraged me from the start to try out for this exam and I happily started studying for this because they are some of my dream colleges.When my parents heard that hostels were compulsory, they immediately said no and they would not allow me to get admitted into this college. We had a huge discussion on this which ended in me telling that I won't write this exam and focus on the normal college entrance and my school finals. They got offended that I'm blaming them for my decision to not write the exam (which is true) just because they won't send me there and got pretty angry. My parents' anger (my dad's especially) is pretty dangerous and they started saying and cursing a shit load of degrading and abusive stuff. I did nothing but got up and went to my room (I have more of a silent anger so I just ignore everyone when I'm mad or upset). I pretended to study when they came to my room and started shouting and cursing there. I still didn't say anything and ignored them.I've still been pretty firm on my decision and I've been mostly giving them silent treatment since I'm upset that they made me waste two years studying for this special college entrance when I could've enjoyed my life normally in a normal school and self studied for the normal college entrance in the past two years. (By enjoying, I meant I could've lived a normal high-school life where they have extra curricular activities and events. The institute I go to does nothing of this sort. We only study from 9am to 6pm with a 30 min total break in between). My parents are offended at me giving them silent treatment and called me bratty, spoiled and selfish.So AITA for giving my parents the silent treatment and feeling upset at them for making me waste two years for nothing?",AITA for getting upset at my parents for not sending me to my dream colleges?,NTA -111s8nn,"Okay so my boyfriend isn't like the super romantic type and for the past few months I've been trying to tell him that it would really mean a lot to me if sometimes he just did random nice things for me for no reason. Nothing crazy but something like buying me flowers on a random day just to make me smile. Small kind gestures to make me feel loved and special. I guess stuff like that is a part of my love language because its really important to me & means a lot to me. Well, he's been trying and there are a few times where he did do this. 3 times specifically, one time it was flowers, one time it was a box of chocolates, and the most recent time it was a cute heart shaped cake thing from the grocery store. Well here's the thing, each of these times he got 2 of the exact same thing- one for me and one for his mom. Don't get me wrong, I still appreciate the gesture. and I think it's nice that he wants to do something nice for his mom. BUT, I think it would be okay if sometimes he did something nice for just me.. like the whole point is that I want to feel special, and it doesn't feel as special if he gets the exact same thing for his mom. like that would be okay every once in awhile but I don't want it to be like every time he gets me something he gets 2 of the same thing, one for his mom. It feels like when parents have 2 children and feel like they need to get everything the same. except me and his mom arent the same, we're 2 different people with 2 different roles in his life. & I just think it would be nice if sometimes he did something romantic for JUST ME. I tried to communicate this with him, at first he was a little mad and said I'm just trying to pick at things. But the more I explained, he seemed to understand. Am I the asshole for wanting him to do stuff for just me sometimes? It's not like I want him to never do nice things for his mom, I just feel like it could be separate sometimes & he can do things for us individually. Me as his girlfriend & her as his mom. It just takes away from the gesture when I see that he got her the exact same thing. Does that seem selfish or am I right?",AITA for asking my BF to stop getting me and his mom the same gifts?,NTA -111ojqx,"EDIT: I have offered gas money in the past and given it to him, but I’m confused as to when I should pay him. Should I be paying him for every single drive? It’s an awkward conversation to bring up when he drives me 10 minutes to the next town and he gets defensive but also wants the money. A point of contention in my (24 F) relationship is my boyfriend (23 M) giving me drives. We’ve been together for over a year. I didn’t have a lisence until a couple of weeks ago due to personal circumstances but am unable to afford a car currently and boyfriend drives and has a car. We have gotten into arguments before as he claims it’s a waste of his time and money to drive me home or to school. Due to my home life being pretty terrible, most of the time we spend is at his house. With that being said, I need to get there. He gets resentful over the fact that he needs to pick me up from his place (about a 10 minute drive). We will be in the car and he will pass a Tim Hortons and say “you’re going to get me a drink” or walk up to me afterwards and say “give me $6” whenever he drives me somewhere. I find it very off putting and will often make a face when he does this and he gets very defensive. If he was more polite about asking I would be more understanding to give him money more frequently, but it just feels wrong. I understand that gas isn’t cheap, but he’s only around on the weekends and picks me up on Friday nights and drops me at school on Monday mornings. I often pay for his food if we go out or cover the cost if we do any sort of activity to offset his frustration about driving to make things feel more equal as he brings up the driving frustrations quite often. AITAH for finding it unattractive and off putting that he’s asking for money?",AITAH for getting offended by my boyfriend asking me for gas money every time he drives me anywhere?,NTA -111vcvk,"This just happened and I (34F) don’t know if I’m the AH. My partner (39M) had taken our dog outside to poop. Didn’t notice he still had poop stuck on his bum. Dog comes and sits on the couch while I’m napping. When I wake up I smell something, then notice dog has poop still stuck to him, it’s now also on the couch, pillows and blanket. I ask my partner to pause his game to help me, he’s playing Rocket League. He says the game cannot be paused since it’s live, so I ask him to leave his game and help me. He tells me no and says to wait until his match is done. I’m pissed and start cleaning while he finishes his game. After his game is over he starts to help me. I’m mad because I don’t think leaving one game was enough reason to not help me. And he says because the game keeps track he didn’t want to leave his game. Am I the AH?",AITA for asking my partner to leave his game to help me clean up dog poop?,NTA -111vx41,"This feels weird and petty and I just want to know if I’m being crazy!There’s a new much-hyped video game coming out soon. BF (39m) and me (32F) have lived together for 7 years. BF wants to be able to play through the whole game first before I get to play it. He owns the gaming system, we split the cost of the TV when we bought it, and he is planning to buy the game when it comes out (but I would happily purchase it for both of us as a gift) He told me if I want to play the game at the same time as him I am welcome to purchase my own game system and game and play it on another TV. Growing up in a frugal/poor household, to me this feels super wasteful and stingy when we could just both enjoy it. AITA for thinking he’s being unreasonable?(relevant info- he’s afraid i’d spoil the game for him because i’d be playing in our shared space)",AITA if I refuse to buy my own gaming system?,NTA -111vwpd,"I (35f) and my wife (39f) are planning on going to South Korea in April for both her work conference and to visit my niece who lives there. My wife is a plastic surgeon and has a two day work conference in Seoul, but we were planning on going a week earlier to another city called Busan to visit my niece who lives there. Our flights have been booked for us and our two kids (5m and 3f) for about a week now (although we have been planning this for about a month). This trip is a big deal for me as I have never left the country and neither have my kids.Today I found out that she invited her coworker who is going to the work conference with her to the family vacation portion of our trip. I have never met him and neither has the rest of my family, so I was taken aback when I found out about it. I didn’t even find out from her, but from my niece whom she mentioned it to who then told me. When I confronted her about this, she had insisted that she told me about it when that absolutely did not happen.She believes that she needed to invite him because he invited her to the work conference. She will be staying with him for the work conference potion of her trip, so it seems unnecessary to invite him to another city on the opposite side of the country to visit family. If I would have known that there was going to be another person joining us previously, I would’ve probably rethought the trip. It’s already overwhelming traveling across the world for the first time, especially with two young kids. She has traveled multiple times out of the country without me, so I find it hurtful that she’s controlling a trip that is a huge deal to me.I understand that a portion of this trip is work-related for her, but it’s completely separate from the rest of the trip. The lack of communication is frustrating and I don’t know if I’m overreacting or not. So, AITA for getting upset at my wife for inviting her coworker to our family vacation without consulting me?EDIT: formatting and spelling",AITA for not wanting my wife’s coworker to come with us on a family vacation?,NTA -111uzs7,"Sorry for mistakes I didn't check grammar and ENG is not my 1 language.I live in a very conservative society. Here woman will be frowned upon if she is divorced.I got out of a abusive relationship. A couple of stressful years later. Im are at a wedding and an auntie comes up to me and straight away says that I'm terrible mother. First I don't understand what she means. And she goes by with a tirade that why I'm blocking my son to have interaction with his own father. Saying that I'm shocked is understatement. Apparently my ex-MIL had ugly cried to everyone that I'm not allowing her or her son to see their grandson/son.Even tho I changed my phone number and other social media (because my ex hacked every single of them) they had my father's phone number. Never in those years the said father called and asked about his son. ( He has actually meet my child twice)I had a struggle to place my son to kindergarten because I needed the other parents consent signature. But when I wrote to him (from my father's number) he didn't want to sign the papers. So I called the kindergarten and explained everything. Thank God they understood my struggles and I could place him in a kindergarden. The other struggles comes after this. I wanted to rent an apartment and move out from my parents. To not to be a burden for them. But they required that I had child support because I'm single mother. So asked him. But he didn't want to pay. So I go to go OCSE.They wanted info from both sides. And after couple of weeks i receive a call that states that my ex said that he is paying 200$ each month. (It's normal amount here) Even tho he never did! That's then he came to meet his child two times in one month. After I gave evidence that he never paid child support to OCSE he disappeared. So now I got the money from the government and he is paying the debt to the government.I really wanted to go to vacation. But I can't take a passport for my son. Because what? Yes, we need his signature. What can I do? I write to him. (with my number) He is pissed. He threatens me and says ""oh so now you are not afraid now? You are not hiding behind your father."" And demands that I will leave my son with him in his house for two weeks. And then MAYBE he will sign the papers. I don't want to argue with him. So I don't reply. I go to police to see if they can help me. But apparently they can not. Because he is sane and he has half of the custody so he is in his rights. I called an attorney. I'm tired 😫 I want to relax and live peacefully with my son. But some people got a wind of what I'm doing so they all say that I'm asshole for doing that to my son, that I'm severing his relationship with his father and his other relatives. AITA?",AITA For wanting sole custody of the child?,NTA -111ggwv,"During spring of my (19F) sophomore year of college, my current roomie Mara (21F) needed to move out. She told me late, so I had to not only find a new roommate, but also new apartment.Let's call my new roomie Ang (19F). Mara sold all her current furniture to Ang (desk, bed, bookshelves, nightstand, dresser) but made it clear that Ang was 100% responsible for moving them out of that apartment by Jun 1 (move out date).Ang and I were supposed to house hunt together during the spring term, but she was really stressed (she was almost flunking out of school). I understood, but she totally ghosted me for weeks at a time during crucial housing deadlines. I was forced to take care of everything: apartment, insurance, even spotted her half of the security deposit. I basically put a roof over her head. I was annoyed but got over it. Everything was finalized by early May, move-in date was Jun.WELL after finals (mid-May), Ang flew back home without making *any* arrangements to have Mara's furniture moved from my old place. If we left it there, the building would trash it + fine the previous occupants (Mara & I). I repeatedly called/texted Ang for TWO weeks to coordinate. Nope. Still MIA.Jun 1 came & went and Mom and I basically did her *entire* move for her. We disassembled, hauled, and reassembled ALL of her things. It was lot of time and $$, we were exhausted by the end, but I did not want her stuff to get trashed and I did not want Mara and I to get fined.Around then, my friend Candace (21F) asked if she could use Ang's ""half"" of the room this summer. (We shared a 1b, so basically her bed + half the closet.) I didn't see an issue because Ang hadn't even stepped foot in our apartment yet. I texted Ang and you guessed it! Ghosted. I was fed up, so I just told Candace to come over and stay with me as long as she liked.I heard back from Ang on like Jun *20th*. She offered to reimburse her half of moving fees and she also ""agreed"" to let C stay in her spot. But since she took 3 weeks to get back to me, I had already had Candace move in. I was completely honest with Ang about this, she seemed more than fine with it and even (albeit half-heartedly) apologized for her behavior. All good, right?Cue the drama.**(EDITED to make it more clear!)** Ang and I were still each directly responsible for paying our building manager our halves of rent ($800/each). I didn't ask C for rent (she was a good friend), but she wanted to cover half of my portion as a thank you so she would venmo me $400 directly each month. So it was technically ""rent"", but no formal agreement.The issue started when Ang's Dad found out Candace was sending me money. Weeks later, after everything is settled, he calls my mom and yells that 100% Candace's ""sublet"" rent money should go entirely to him since she was in Ang's ""spot."" I understood, but Ang never lifted a finger to find a subletter, find an apartment, or even move her stuff! She was so checked out, she didn't even know WHERE our new place was, let alone who was even staying there lol.My mom called him an irresponsible father and said he should be thanking us for how much we've bent over backwards to help them out. She told him he wasn't entitled to that $$ and that she'd make sure he'd never see a cent of it (she can be dramatic when she's pissed lol). They argued about it all summer but my mom stood firm and had me kept all of C's ""rent"" payments.Looking back, I wonder if we conflated two different issues. Ang being an irresponsible roommate doesn't have anything to do with her rights as a renter. Candace was technically using her bed and her ""half"" of the room (even though Ang wouldn't have had either of those things without me). AITA?**EDIT #2 - Character limit won't let me go into detail here, but Ang's Dad's behavior over that summer was really awful (explained in comments).** So much unjustified hostility from someone who I felt I really helped probably colored my judgment at the time. At that point, I'll admit maybe I was intent on keeping C's money just for the principle of it. That's why I'm wondering if I'm the AH.",AITA for keeping ALL of my subletter's rent money and not sharing with my roommate?,NTA -111p5vs,"My fiancee, Liz, and I are getting married in August.We are planning a small ceremony and dinner with most important family only.For me that means my three brothers, Mike, Bill, and Tom, and my dad, and on my fiancees's side her parents, brother, and a close aunt. We want to keep it small and intimate, and are getting married at city hall and then a nice dinner out. We picked a really nice spot with rooftop seating, where it's pretty pricey (around $100/head, possibly more with drinks), but it's a place Liz and I have always wanted to try, and we're okay with splurging a bit since we're not doing a big expensive wedding, and these are the most important people in our lives.I'm close to Mike and Bill, but Tom moved off to another state after college, and has been in a strange relationship with 'Rob' since High School, and Rob has never liked our family.Rob would always find the worst possible interpretation of anything one says, and my dad's, brothers, and my attempts at trying to stay in touch with Tom after he moved, and to try and get to know Rob better were perceived by Rob as us being smothering and controlling and a bad influence on Tom.Over the years we've heard from Tom less and less and he didn't even wish me a happy birthday this year. It breaks my heart because growing up we were so close. I really want my brothers there at my wedding, even Tom, and I'm hoping the chance to see each other in person again could help us reconnect.However Rob is weirdly co-dependent, and would expect to be invited too.I really don't want Rob there, as I feel he's poisoned Tom against us, and the times I've interacted with him were not always pleasant.Tom also got engaged to Rob last year and didn't tell us until months later (and then gets mad at us for not 'including' him). He's also been awful to my dad.Last year, my dad sent a box of Xmas gifts to Tom and Rob. It was a few gifts for Tom, and then a gift for Rob.Rob chose to complain and say that he felt excluded from the family since dad sent more for Tom.Rob also accused my my dad and I of 'ganging up' on Tom after my dad texted Tom to say that I was hurt he'd forgotten my birthday.I don't want Rob there, and I worry having him there would ruin the whole event, and my chances of reconnecting with Tom. Tom and Rob are struggling financially and I would likely have to pay for their tickets to get them here. I'm just not willing to go to that much expense for Rob. I invited Tom, but when I offered to buy his ticket, he asked if I'd be buying Rob's too. I said it was a small ceremony and I really wanted him there, but he got really upset and said I didn't take him and Rob's relationship seriosly.Late Rob blew up my phone saying I was making him feel excluded from the family and threatening to not let Tom go.My fiancee thinks I should just invite Rob to keep the peace, but only pay for Toms ticket, and my dad says I should have known better and just sucked it up and invited Rob.AITA here?",AITA for not inviting my future BIL to my wedding?,NTA -111jbp5,"i have been pretty good friends with a group of people since freshman year of high school.this year (our senior year), one of my friends from my friend group introduced a new girl to our friend group. honestly, i couldn’t really pinpoint why i didn’t like her to begin with. i just couldn’t vibe with her- we had no similar interests, opposite personalities, different perspectives on life, different backgrounds etc. it didn’t help that she would often yell “Hi <my name>!!” whenever she saw me in the hallway and repeatedly ask questions like “when’s your birthday?” even though i told her i didn’t really feel comfortable telling her. i also have a weird thing where i really, really don’t like eating with people i don’t know well. it’s a quirk my friends know about and had been pretty understanding of until now. i didn’t say anything and sucked it up for a while. And honestly, there was a part of me who wished we could go back to being a group of five again instead of six. regardless, i tried my best to be polite.after a couple of months, i decided to have a talk with my original friend group. i didn’t want to kick the new girl out, but i wanted to make time for just the five of us to hang out to be a more regular thing outside of school. some of the people in my friend group understood where i was coming from and even told me they felt the same way about wanting to go back to being a friend group of five. however, one of my friends, accused me of not liking the new girl because she was autistic. i didn’t know she was autistic, but i understood where he was coming from because he was autistic as well. i tried to explain to him that i didn’t know she was autistic and my dislike of her was not because she was autistic, but he then accused me of projecting… and just like that, the rest of my friend group suddenly turned on me. all talks about also feeling uncomfortable around her suddenly disappeared, and they all agreed that i was projecting and being unreasonable. i decided to distance myself a little from my friend group. it makes me sad that they seem to not have noticed my absence at all. am i being the asshole here?",AITA for not liking my friends’ autistic friend?,NTA -111n8hr,"For context, we're both men, and although his family is largely okay with it, his parents (mostly his mother) are often snippy and passive aggressive towards me.Anyway, my now fiance proposed to me last month. I don't really wear jewelries and he knows it, so he didn't buy any ring and we just sort of pinky promised to get married by the end of the year. Most people didn't notice the lack of ring when we told them the great news, but the very few who did include my soon-to-be MIL. To put it lightly, she disagreed with it.She insisted that we should've gotten a ring ""because it's traditional"" (as if there's anything remotely traditional about 2 dudes getting hitched anyway,) and she insisted we use her old engagement ring and consider it our ""heirloom"" piece.Problem: this particular ring came from her first marriage that ended very (I was told) acrimoniously. She has been very vocal about her distaste for her ex, so I don't think I'm making things up when I say she only kept that ring some sort of trophy over her ex. She did get a lot out of him during that divorce, as she have bragged multiple times before.I can give her the benefit of the doubt that the ring has a more positive connotation to her as a symbol of her victory or something. But even if I don't have any reservations about wearing jewelries, the ring her ex (whom she still very obviously hate) gave her as a symbol of a promise he eventually broke is hardly something I'd want to use to symbolize my own engagement.Obviously I refused, and I think I was being perfectly respectful when I did. I was being firm but polite. I told her that I'm uncomfortable with wearing rings in general and her ring in particular, but I didn't say a word about it's background. It thought it was implied enough. She, given her continual texts and voice messages about traditions and respects and getting the wrong message, didn't think so.My fiance is all too willing to shut his mother up, but before we spoil this relationship any further (which I also wouldn't mind at all), am I wrong for not accepting her ""heirloom"" ring?","AITA for not wanting my MIL's ""heirloom"" ring?",NTA -111vebq,"I'm half-Filipino, half-White who has naturally chestnut brown hair, with a 3A wavy/curly hair type. The Filipino traits I inherited are my eyes and nose shape, but I have my white parent's curly hair, face shape, pale skin, and slightly pointed nose. Whenever I travel to the Philippines on vacation to visit my mom's relatives, I tend to get comments like this:- Why is your hair so messy? Comb your hair every day (and proceeds to give unsolicited advice on how to take care of my hair)- You look like a badjao (a Filipino ethnic group originated in Mindanao)! Fix your hair! - Did you dye your hair? It doesn't suit you- - Do you need to use a hair straightener? Want me to take you to a hair salon? Tara na, magparebond ka para maganda ka! (C'mon! Let's get your hair straightened so you'll look pretty!)However, I declined to follow any of the advice thrown at my face just to keep my hair safe. I'm afraid that if I have followed their advice, then my hair would be damaged since the Philippines barely have salons that have experience with hair types like mine. I also snapped at them for discriminating my hair.Some titas (even the ones who are not related to me) accused me for not taking great care of my hair and hygiene. I do take showers every day, but I only wash my hair once, sometimes twice, a week. They also judge my spending habits, such as bringing hair products I bought from the U.S. to the Philippines for a vacation, when I could just go to the supermarket and buy some. AITA for refusing to change my hygienic habits?",WIBTA for refusing to have my hair straightened with chemicals?,NTA -111v429,"I (m18) recently moved into an apartment with my childhood best friend, also M18. This apartment is around an hour away from our houses, and we started renting it back in September for school! At first, it was very exciting, to be living on our own and having our own independence. As the months went by, I found myself staying back at my house more often. I also am dating a girl from my hometown so I often stay at her place and travel the 1 hour to college the next morning. It makes my roommate upset as he was hoping that we would be able to have a good roommate/college experience together during the school year. He initially brought this up, when in November, he mentioned how I only spent 3 nights at the apartment. He expresses that he is very lonely, and also just went through a bad breakup! AITA?",AITA for never staying at my apartment,NAH -111n1nx,"Background: (35F) have to move in May from California to Virginia with my husband (35M) for work. It's not an option, and we are both contractually obligated at this point to do so. Our moving expenses will be covered by our employer, and we have purchased an enclosed utility trailer to move our things. In addition, we will be helping my mother and stepfather to move from Michigan to Virginia to live in our home at the same time. The logistics on that aren't set yet, but we will either be providing funds to hire a moving company for them or arriving in VA to unload and immediately leave to MI for their belongings. My ex-husband (52M) lives in California and sees my son (7M) every weekend.To the point, my ex is currently very behind on child support and, in fact, hasn't sent a single check in 9+ months besides what he was already behind when he stopped writing checks. With a handful of exceptions, he does not send me any money until I specifically ask for it each month. We have an agreement outside of court for $327 a month, even though the state guideline calculator would put him at about $600 a month through the court system.He has a Mazda RX-8 because the Ford Fiesta he bought with his half of the proceeds from selling my house died on him. The home was my sole property, which I owned prior to marriage, but I still gave him about $20k when it sold to help him get on his feet. I had been the primary earner. He told me that if he was going to have a car payment either way, he may as well get what he wants. He also paid for an additional warranty at the time of purchase, and so is upside-down on said sports car. The car only takes premium, and the insurance is double what the Fiesta was. He has no money, which is why I have not pursued his back support. There would be no point because he doesn't have it, and the process would be lengthy without an existing court-backed support order.He wants to move to VA to still be able to see his son on the weekends, but most of those conversations turn into statements about how he isn't sure he can find the money to move. We have discussed my son seeing him over the summer instead if he can't fund the move, but it's pretty clear to me that he's mostly fishing for me to foot the bill for his move.I'm conflicted because the only reason he needs those funds is because I am moving for work and have primary custody. On the other hand, he owes me about a year's worth of child support in total, and at half the rate which he would be legally obligated to pay. I gave him half my profit from my home, which he never made a payment towards in our entire marriage. So WIBTA, if I told him that he needs to fund his own move to follow us across the country? I feel as though at this point I've done more than should be expected, and there has to be a line somewhere.",WIBTA if I did not assist my ex-husband with his moving expenses?,NTA -111ux48,"My husband and I (mid 20s) are having our first child, we couldn’t be more excited as this was a very planned pregnancy & we have wanted to start our family for awhile now. I know this sub hates gender reveals & I get it, but we are having one because I’m taking every opportunity possible to celebrate this baby. I have a pretty large family and we typically use any event as an excuse to get together and spend time together, so while the main reason we are having a party is to find out if we are having a boy or girl I suspect that the event will go on far longer than scheduled because that’s just how things tend to go. The gender reveal is being hosted at my grandparents house and they live for these gatherings so that’s not an issue. This may sound kinda of silly but drinking is just kinda of part of the family culture as well, not everyone drinks & no one typically gets drunk, but most of the adults have a few beers here and there. The problem is my MIL and FIL are alcoholics & MIL has a bad track record getting extremely drunk at my mine and my husbands important life events. I have a very rocky relationship with her due to my MIL’s behavior at our rehearsal dinner and wedding, she couldn’t stand up during the mother son dance and she kept peeing on herself, like literally all night. As well as stealing drinks from other people when she got cut off from the bar. My FIL typically doesn’t get drunk in public so I’m not so much worried about him, but he’s a mean drunk and I have had to call the police on him on multiple occasions so again we just aren’t on great terms. I do not want to make the event alcohol free, in my mind there’s no reason to punish/police my family over things that don’t involve them. So we were thinking about making their invitation contingent on them being sober, saying something along the lines of “you’re more than welcome to come join us for the celebration as long as you plan on coming and staying sober for the duration of the event”. My husband completely agrees with this by the way, and I know this sounds bad but this would almost be used as a trail run for how involved I will allowed them to be in our child’s life. I feel like if they come and respect our rule then that could be an open door to start making baby steps to rebuild a relationship. If they don’t come or don’t stay sober then we will know where their priorities are and will continue to be very low contact. So, WIBTA for these stipulations?ETA: While I don’t think alcohol is necessary at events like these, I have never been to an event that was alcohol free. Every gender reveal, baby shower, kids birthday party, wedding, general gathering has always been a “BYOB” type of event. I will not be supplying any alcohol, family and friends tend to just bring their coolers packed with whatever they plan on drinking throughout the duration of whatever event. My MIL has been going to AA classes with my BIL (court ordered for him due to a DUI) and that’s the reason my husband wants to give them a chance to come & just not drink. I also really don’t want to have to ask my grandfather not to drink at his own house, he’s your typical old retired southern man who just enjoys sangria. While I’ve never seen the man drunk, I’ve also never seen him without his sangria (he waters it down a lot, it’s basically juice) & I don’t feel like it’s my place to police him in his own home.",WIBTA for not allowing only my In-laws to drink at my gender reveal,NTA -111wipo,"The title is the tldr, that’s the story. This weekend the entire family was together celebrating my great grandmother’s 98th birthday!! My cousin came with her baby, and it’s the first time many of the extended family has seen her. We were ogling the new little one, commenting she has my cousins nose, her dads ears, and so on. Another one of my cousins joked that since her kids are all the spitting image of their father that she teases him when they’re acting up, saying that’s from him too. Well, this carried on and I said to my brother I though it’s so sweet his daughter has his baby blue eyes. I could tell immediately he was annoyed about it. He doesn’t like when we comment about how his daughter looks, because he feels like we’re speculating or something nefarious. So I let him know I don’t mean anything by it and asked him to relax, it’s no big deal. Well, I guess it is a big deal. He texted me tonight and asked me to please not say things like that because it’s othering to his husband. We can all tell very easily that she’s related to us, so why be weird about it? It was only an innocent comment.",AITA because I (36F) said it was cute that my niece got my brother’s (42M) eyes?,YTA -111cxei,"I (22F) have been dating “Chris”(21M) for 5 years. Living together for 3. Chris recently quit his job and I have been supporting him.(beginning of January)I work in a restaurant, the other day Chris’s mother “Nat” came in, I paid for her food because I wanted to do something nice and she’s been going through a tough time lately.(the bill was maybe $12)Nat invited us over today for lunch and asked us to pick some stuff up, I got some veggies and sandwich making supplies with Chris, paid for it and went back home.Chris started getting grumpy when we got home, I asked him why and he said his mom wanted to pay for it but I had gone ahead and paid for it. I told him that it’s alright, she doesn’t have to. I did not know that the plan was for her to pay for the groceries.Chris started to huff around and be angry all around the house as I’m doing up dishes. This is where I might be the AH, I went up to him and said “stop being grumpy”(it did not help) He proceeded to get more angry and said that he was “wasting his day on sh!t” when he had better things to do.I told him I only get two days off, and I didn’t really want to do this either. He said “Well just leave then.” So I left. I am currently sitting in a marina parking lot in my car because I don’t want to go back home. TL;DR: Boyfriends mom invited us over for lunch, we got in a fight before going and he told me I can leave, so I left.",AITA for leaving during a fight with my boyfriend?,NTA -111ssgd,"Using a throwaway.My (M25) girlfriend (26) recently moved in with me. We've been living together for around 2 months now but together for 3 years.When we moved in together we divided up the household chores. I basically took everything except for cooking as she's amazing at that. More importantly I'm a bit of a neat freak and have my way of cleaning things. I've got a bit of a routine so I'll clean different rooms on a rotation (we have a small place, 5 rooms) so it's not too much all at once.Shortly after she moved in I noticed her toothbrush was kind of dirty, to me at least. Not moldy or anything gross but I'm guessing she doesn't rinse it off after using it and streaks of toothpaste residue on the base and there was a build up of toothpaste at the bottom in between the bristles. Mine has never been like this so I cleaned it. And by cleaning it I just mean I run it under hot water to get the residue off the base and I let the water wash out the build up at the bottom of the bristles. I didn't say anything to her about it and have done this regularly while we've been living together.Yesterday was the day I clean the bathroom and she slept in while I got up to clean. When she got up she went to brush her teeth I guess she noticed that it was still wet and asked me if I had used it. I told her no but that as part of my cleaning routine I rinsed it off for her. She asked why and I just said it had the residue stuff on it so I cleaned it. She told me that was weird and asked me if I had a problem with the way she brushes her teeth. I told her no, and repeated why I cleaned it. I guess she didn't believe me because she called me insensitive and an AH for cleaning it and not saying anything to her.She's been a little cold to me since then. I've apologized because I know I've hurt her feelings but didn't mean to. tbh I'm not really sure I've done anything wrong. I know I'm particular when I clean but given her reaction but I'm thinking that maybe I might be an AH?",AITA for cleaning my girlfriend's toothbrush?,NAH -111lb7i,"I have been with my ex for two years, so we had plenty of occasions for gift giving. She would give me mostly 'physical' things/objects and by that I mean like clothes, electronics, figurines, etc. My gifts for her were mostly games - she wanted to get into gaming but didn't know where to start, so I gave her the password to my steam account and would just buy any game that she found interesting. We've split two months ago. For the longest time I was wondering what should I do with my steam account, but finally decided to kick her out of it & change the password, since we're basically strangers now. Well, that means she doesn't have an access to games that I've gifted her of course. She has reached out to me, saying that since she can no longer use her gifts, then I should return the gifts she gave me. I refused obviously. It's not my fault that the gifts I received from her were physical objects, while she wanted games. I wasn't taking into an account that we would break up in the future, of course, because who would? I don't want to give her an access to my steam account either, for obvious reasons.I don't think I'm an asshole for refusing to return the gifts, these were mine the moment she gave them to me, but the girl I'm currently seeing agreed with my ex point of view, so I just want to ask for an unbiased opinion if that makes me an asshole?",AITA for not wanting to return the gifts my ex gave me during our relationship?,YTA -111u0u1,"My stepsister is having a destination wedding. I live far away from her and all my siblings and parents. I assumed my family of five would be invited, even though we haven’t been real close in the past few years. I reserved time off work and began asking my parents about logistics. One day my step sister called me and asked me who invited me to her wedding? I said we assumed we were invited but maybe I was wrong. She said since it was a destination wedding, she wanted to reserve it for people who had been important to her life in the last few years. I said I understood. After we hung up, I was hurt and for many days and weeks after had to process the fact that our relationship wasn’t as good as I thought it was. She texted later and said they were still working out the details and she’d let me know whether we’d be invited within the next two months. Two months passed. Another two weeks passed. She called me and said she’d be happy to invite us to her wedding, but she didn’t apologize or explain what changed (I suspect my step mom guilted her into it).My wife and I don’t really feel like she wants us there, but I feel like I should at least go. But in the two + months that passed, my wife’s family made plans to visit us and, frankly, it would be very hard now for my whole family to attend due to those subsequent plans with her family.When I told my dad and stepmom that I was planning to attend solo, but without my wife and kids, I thought they’d be pleased that at least I was making the effort to attend, despite the clumsy and somewhat disrespectful way I was eventually invited. Instead, my stepmom got mad at me for not bringing my whole family along. She said my stepsister originally made the wrong decision but came around to make the right decision, but now I was making the wrong decision and my pride was keeping me from making the right decision (to bring my whole family instead of just me). In the interim between when I was disinvited and then later invited, though, my stepsister told my dad the reason she didn’t invite me originally was because she was insecure about her relationship with him versus his relationship with me, and she was worried that if I was there, he’d be more distracted by me and my family and not pay adequate attention to her on her wedding day. Whatever one makes of that, it certainly doesn’t make me want to put my wife and kids in that very frought, emotionally loaded situation. But according to my stepmom, this attitude “misses the point” and I’m missing an opportunity for my family to bond more with my stepsister, all because of my pride. AITA?",AITA for going alone and not taking my family to my step sister’s wedding?,NTA -111tyif,"Family members 1, 2, 3, & 4 come to visit me fairly often. Whenever they come over; I cook a meal since I enjoy it. Recently, they came over for a visit and I decided I was going to make lasagna; for those who don't know, a good lasagna takes at least 2.5 hours to make, if you have the process nailed down.I started making the dish at \~8AM and the lasagna didn't come out of the oven until noon. I ate half my portion for lunch, but everyone else ate their portions for dinner. Family Member 4 seemed to really enjoy it, which made me happy since I always want food I make for guests to be the best thing they eat that week (not saying Family Member 4 ate way more than their share, but everyone should've gotten 2 big pieces of lasagna, each piece is roughly 3""x7""x1.5"", and someone else came up short one piece).Now to the part the pissed me off:Family Member 4 compared the lasagna to, and I quote, ""junk food"".Now, I wouldn't say it's healthy when compared to a garden salad, but the noodle sheets were handmade, the vegetables were organic, the vegetables and imitation meat were cooked in organic extra olive oil, the tomato paste used to turn the vegetables/imitation meat was also organic, the cheese was organic, and the milk used to make the cheese into a cheese sauce was organic. So, to be told that something that took a good chunk of my morning to make was comparable to Doritos or Cheetos, etc., really irritated me, and they doubled down on it later on (Family Members 1,2, and 3 said they couldn't believe they said that).There is a component of virtually all my dishes, including the lasagna, that I have been wanting to switch up but haven't yet since doing so would make it inedible for Family Member 4 due to an allergy.Now that Family Member 4 compared a dish I labored over for most of a weekend morning to junk food, I'm debating just trying out the different food component next time and just preparing something simple that no one can call junk food for Family Member 4, like two California Rolls.And before the suggestions of there being a deeper reason for Family Member 4 calling lasagna junk food, in the last year or so, they have really leaned into eating healthy; I support this, eating healthy = living longer and better. However, it has gotten annoying at times; they one time found out I have never had a cavity and only brush once a day and launched into a lecture about how they've had 3 cavities and brush 5 times a day to mitigate the risk of another cavity, and then they got mad when I said something along the lines of ""all due respect, I don't think that I, someone that has never had a cavity and was told my teeth are in fantastic shape by my dentist, will take dental hygiene advise from you, someone that has had at least 3 cavities."".WIBTA for experimenting with my cooking and trying out a method I've been wanting to for a while, but haven't, and just giving the affected person a substitute meal that'd be noticeably simpler in appearance and preparation?",WIBTA If I Stop Cooking Meals That Conform To A Family Member's Dietary Restrictions?,NTA -111rnir,"Last Christmas my family decided on a “Secret Santa” gift exchange rather than exchanging gifts with everyone. So I bought the required gift for the exchange, but didn’t buy additional gifts for my sisters children (who are 3 and 6). They are the only children in the family. My sister was extremely upset, and expressed this to my parents, who in turn told me. My parents made it clear they feel I am in the wrong. I have diligently bought my sister, her husband and her children birthday and Christmas gifts over the years - many have gone unacknowledged and without a thank you. My sisters in-laws are extremely wealthy, and in contrast I am more middle class. Perhaps previous gifts were not lavish enough, I am not sure. Over the years my sister and her husband lavish my parents and other siblings with birthday gifts and gifts from their travels, but have never bought me a birthday gift or Christmas gift. It’s been quite upsetting to see them return from a trip and gift my other siblings fragrances, jewellery and other gifts, whilst I receive none. My sister and I don’t have a particularly close relationship, and in contrast she is close with my other siblings. So I have never expressed my hurt that she gifts everyone else but not me, as I feel it’s impolite to expect gifts or complain when not receiving one. Should I have just bought her children gifts? If it were a ‘normal’ Christmas I would have bought the mandatory gifts, but I assumed the Secret Santa exempted me from buying any other gifts. Was I wrong to assume this? I know it stems from deeper issues - my sister and I are not close, and she feels I do not take enough interest in her children’s lives. But she has never taken an interest in my life at all - just because I don’t have children, are my career, relationship, accomplishments etc. not worthy of interest or celebration? I’m now pregnant with my first child, and can tell that my sisters lack of interest is her way of “getting back at me”. I plan to not comment on what I expect will happen: no baby gifts etc. Am I the asshole?",AITA for not buying my sisters kids Christmas gifts?,NTA -111hu72,"Myself (26M) and my fiancé (25F) did not participate in the Christmas family photo this year with my sister, brother, parents, and grandparents. For background, my older sister (28F) absolutely loves being the center of attention and makes a point to talk over or put myself and my brother(24M) down. To me it comes off as childish and insecure, but no on else seems to bat an eye as she is the family favorite. It’s mostly silly little sibling squabble stuff, but really amplified lately due to her putting her wedding ~2 months after my own. In addition, in the past few years, both myself and my sister adopted dogs. Unfortunately, my sister’s dog is very aggressive towards other dogs and so my dog is not allowed at family functions/holidays, but my sister’s dog comes to every event. The past few years, we have done a family photo and each year has been without my dog and included hers. I usually just let it go as in the end, they are just pets and not children or other family members, so no big deal. However, I suggested this year that maybe since all the pets cant be included in the family photo, we do it without the dogs. I was (surprisingly) met with an instant brick wall from my sister and she exclaimed that she does not want myself and my fiancé in the photo either if she cant have her dog in the picture. At this point I was expecting input from other family members as this seemed outrageous to me, but the solution that my parents came up with was to have 2 separate photos. One photo with the whole family, plus the dog, and minus me and my fiancé. The second photo would be with the whole family, minus the dog, and plus me and my fiancé. To my surprise, they followed through and took the first photo. My fiancé and I were offended that we were on the same level as the dog and declined to take the second photo. Without a second thought, we were asked to leave immediately and kicked out on Christmas day. My parents have since asked me to apologize as they say I disrespected the family due to a silly fight with a dog. Although I agree it was a silly fight, we found it strange how it progressed.TL;DR - I was kicked out on Christmas for not participating the family photo due to my family wanting to include a dog instead of myself and my fiancé.",AITA for not participating in the Christmas family photo?,NTA -111u9lg,"I just found out that my grandmother passed away and that services will be in just a few days. I live in the Midwest and have to travel back to the east coast to attend. I’m fortunate enough that my work is understanding and will allow me the time off to go. I was planning on going by myself mainly to support my mother as I wasn’t all that close to my grandmother, but will also be a pall bearer. I have a wife and three young kids and felt that it would be better if they did not come with me. Plane tickets would run our family anywhere between $2,000 to $3,000 or we could save money and rent a car, but that would take about 20 hours of drive time. When I told my wife that I felt it was best if I go alone, she got upset and said that I didn’t care about them enough to consider bringing them. Neither my wife nor my kids are close with my grandmother and we visit about once a year when we are able to, so I don’t see where this sudden urge to go is coming from. Even after explaining how we would barely have any free-time outside of the funeral and it wouldn’t be a leisurely visit, she is still adamant that I should still make plans to bring the whole family. It is ridiculously expensive to bring all of them with me or would take almost my entire time off of work just to drive there to the funeral and come back.Neither of my siblings are bringing their kids either and have all said that it is probably best that I come alone since my mom would be stressed about keeping the house clean while also dealing with the funeral. So, AITA for not wanting them to come with me? I feel that I have valid reasons why it is best that I go alone but maybe I’m missing something.",AITA for not wanting to bring my family to my grandmother’s funeral?,NTA -111hczc,"I have been loaning my BIL my car to help share the drive for the custody exchange every other weekend since they divorced. My ex SIL has not returned a family heirloom she said she would return after the split. I'm now withholding the use of my car so she can make the full 240 mile round trip twice every other weekend. She insists I'm using her child as a pawn and preventing the kid from seeing his dad. She has the ability to make the drive, it's just inconvenient. It's been almost two years since she said she would return the items. If I weren’t helping them she would have to make this trip on her own all the time since she took the car and the house in the divorce so he could get out from under the massive debt she accrued during their marriage. My BIL does not have a car nor can he afford one at this time.",AITA for not sharing my car?,NTA -111wc0s,"So my uncle in law shares the same birthday as me, and we get along fine. About a month ago , the hubby tells me that his uncle is coming into town on the weekend, flying in on a Friday and flying out on Monday, on our birthday. He starts planning the weekend out with excursions and whatnot, and tells me I’m going with them. Okay, that’s fine. The day of our birthday, all we have planned is a breakfast at Denny’s, and nothing is in the schedule until his uncles flight in the evening. In the mean time, my own friends ( mostly from work) want me to join them for a quick sushi lunch in celebration of my birthday. Since it’s just a lunch thing in between work, I mentioned this to my husband, who angrily flips on me saying that I should be there with him the entire time that my uncle is in town and that since my uncle has done so much for him and has helped him out thru the years( that’s another story) that it would be insulting to even think of going to this luncheon. I try to tell him that it’s my birthday as well and he should be taking my own feelings into account, but he saying that his uncles visit trumps my feelings because if I had family in town, he would be forced to hang out with my family… which in 14 years of marriage, I can count on one hand how many times he’s hung out with my family. He barely lets me visit my mom who lives 30 minutes away. So am I really the asshole? Should I just be the good wife and do what he says?",AITAH for wanting to step away to an hour or so for my birthday?,NTA -111t3xn,"I (33f) and my husband (35m) have been trying to get pregnant since we got married about 8 years ago. We didn’t want to give up hope though, as we had a long time to continue trying. It was hurting my heart so much looking at all those negative tests that we were on one of our last tries before seeking an alternative, when I got pregnant. I’m about 20 weeks, and we just found out that we’re having twin girls! My husband and I are so excited, and my family was having a reunion last Saturday so we figured we’d tell them then. My sister (31f) and her girlfriend (32f) were there, along with the rest of our extended family. My sister and I are super close, and I was one of the first people she came out to as a lesbian. She is sweet and kind. Her girlfriend, however, is very selfish and is willing to tear people down for personal gain and always has to have the attention on her. She is also clearly with my sister for her money (my sister is a successful doctor). The rest of my family knows this, but we don’t tell my sister because she is madly in love with her girlfriend. Anyway, my husband and get up on the stage to give our announcement. Everyone is cheering and clapping and congratulating us, but for some reason the girlfriend sees this as the perfect time to propose to my sister. I know this wasn’t planned because the girlfriend didn’t even have a ring and made up an excuse about how she felt a calling to do the proposal now (see above attention). My sister accepts and they kiss. My husband and I go over to them and I calmly explain why that was wrong. The girlfriend then says that I’m jealous because she loves my sister more than my husband loves me. I start defending myself and my husband. The girlfriend then says that I’m a selfish b*tch, and that she hopes my babies come out as awful as me so she has an excuse not to visit them. I’m insecure so I start crying and my husband comes in and starts defending me. The girlfriend then says that I’m not really upset it’s just the hormones for my stupid babies, and that if I can’t handle them in the womb I can’t handle them outside of it. I look to my sister for help and she says nothing. At this point my husband and I leave without saying a word. The next morning my phone is blown up with texts from my family. This incident caused them to pick sides, one supporting me and saying it was my moment and the other supporting my sister saying that the world does not revolve around me and that play’s don’t have one main character. I’m so confused as this as not only divided my family but also driven a wedge between me and my sister. I am fully willing to own up to my actions if I am proven to be the asshole, I just came for some outside perspective.So what do you think Reddit? AITA?Edit: The girlfriend has alway treated me poorly, though I haven’t done anything to make her (at least not that I know of). Though this poked at me a bit, I tried not to let it affect my relationship with my sister.",AITA For Yelling At My Sister’s Girlfriend?,NTA -111cal1,"Our friend,lets call him Joe is my fiance's friend. He jokes that we are mom and dad because almost every weekend for the past 3 years, he has lived at our house.If he is low on money,we go pick him up from his parents house (he's 30 fyi) or if he can't afford to go out with us,we make sure we buy him a few drinks.Recently,he started dating someone,lets call her Sue.They would expect to remain at our house for the entire weekend.Finally we tried to distance ourselves from them,they got upset by this.Friday night we were at a friends house,I was DDing my Fiance. When the time came to leave,they were parked behind us.Sue pulled out to let us out. We went home.I think got a message from Sue, she told me I hit our friends truck.I felt sick to my stomache thinking I did something and drove off without realizing since it was so dark. I call my friends,they said nothing was wrong with the vehicle.They told me she went into the garage and made a huge scene saying I was drunk driving and smashed into his vehicle and left.I was LIVID.No marks on either vehicles.I texted both Joe and Sue and I asked them to never do anything like that again as it really upset me. It's a very serious thing to lie about! Sue appologuized, Joe didn't understand why I was including him(We have had numerous issues with Joe being a complusive liar).I actually messaged Sue after admitting my wrong in messaging her via text message instead dealing with it in person(I hate snarky text messages).All was good.Last night,Joe starts messaging my fiance terrible things about me. I messaged Joe to drop it, and leave my fiance out of it,to which he texted me in all caps F*** YOU. I became VERY upset. He then esclated the situation by shit talking us to our friends (superbowl party) Then started to threaten to drunk drive up to where we were to ""deal with us"". I know it's because I called them out in a lie, where as everyone else lets them get away with it, but some accusations are too terrible to let slip through.I cried to my fiance that his text was aggressive and I did not want him around anymore.I even went as far as saying that if I don't get an applogy or see a change in him; I do not want him included in the wedding party.My fiance says I am being harsh,and that he is just a an idiot, ""That's just how Joe is"".No one holds Joes accountable for his lies though. Am I the asshole for saying I need space and want him held accountable? Am I the asshole that wants him removed from our wedding party?","AITA for wanting my Fiance's friend removed from our wedding, or seeing a change in him with an appology?",NTA -111u0zt,"My husband (40s) and I (mid30s) have our 15mo old in daycare. After dropping her off he came home, worked, and took a nap (he works from home). Around 3p he woke up feeling ill and had a couple of bouts of diarrhea and vomiting. Our daughter had something similar this past week and it lasted a day. He texts me asking if I can leave work early, but I’m a nurse and we are incredibly short.I quickly call my mom, but she is helping a friend by driving them to an MRI appointment and won’t be in town in time. I tell my husband and he says he can pick up the baby. I get busy with work and am finally able to check my phone at 5:40p. I have a ton of missed calls and texts from him, a voicemail from the daycare. The daycare says my husband told them he is physically unable to come and they explained to him they aren’t licensed to watch my daughter after 6:30p and will call DCF if someone doesn’t come. My shift ends at 7p (at best) and I’m now calling hubby.As soon as he picks up I frantically tell him that the daycare will call DCF and I can’t abandon my patients if I want this career- he hangs up. Not answering my calls (or daycare), I call his mother to see if she can reach him (he could’ve fainted or worse). He tells his mother he is getting the baby.Once home, he was upset and said it was a “family emergency” and I should’ve left work. I’m choosing “other sick kids” over my own. TLDR: husband is sick, I can’t leave work and so he goes to pick baby up from daycare- AITA for not going to pick up my daughter?",AITA for not leaving my job,NTA -111rbmy,"My friend, who’ll I’ll call Fragrance, sometimes has multiple crushes at once. She flirts with multiple different guys, but the ones she’s been going for recently is a newcomer at our school. She follows him around, goes through his belongings, and posts online about how much she loves him. This has resulted in multiple different classmates of ours telling her that’s she’s creepy and obsessive. She argues back saying that she’s just “joking”, but she’s done this so many times to the point where nobody feels that way anymore.On Friday, I was scolding through TikTok when I came across one of her posts. She was again talking about how much she loves this guy and how she���d do anything to have him, and discussing what she’d do if someone else got with him. Today, I decided to talk to her in private, and I asked her if she’s ever asked the guy how he felt about this (because most of the time, he looks annoyed or upset whenever she’s around) and she said that he was just shy and he’d open up soon.I then said “Well, don’t you think he doesn’t like you back?” She suddenly got upset and started crying and asking me why I couldn’t just be supportive of her. I told her that I and many of our friends were genuinely concerned about her behavior and if she wanted to talk. She walked away and now has blocked me on all socials. I think that I was probably being too harsh with the way I went about it. AITA?",AITA for telling my friend the guy she likes obviously does not like her back?,NTA -111w65e,"Throwaway. So I (18F) have this friend named Lashawn(17M). I’ve known him since 6th grade, but we didn’t really become friends until last year (we’re seniors now.) Anyways, Thursday, we were in class typing our essays. He gets up to go to the restroom, when he trips over my charger cord, which causes my MacBook to fall off of the desk, breaking it. He apologized constantly, and said he’d buy me a new one and bring it to me Monday after he gets his allowance. I said that’s cool. Today comes, and he hands me my new MacBook. I admit, I get frustrated, because it was a 2020 MacBook, and not a *new* one. I tell him this, and he is confused. He points out that it is new, as no one has used it before considering he bought it from the Apple Store, and two, mine was from 2014 anyways, and it was about time I had gotten an upgrade. I told him that I wanted my old one back. He said fine, and asked for the MacBook back and the one that he broke so he could have it repaired. I refused, and said he bought it for me, so it’s mine now. He got frustrated, and said he wasn’t going to fix my old one then. By that point, the sun saw us arguing and told both of us to sit down and do our work. I told my sister about this and she called me a very entitled asshole, which I don’t think is fair. But I think he might be mad at me, because I did text him to ask if he had done his math homework, and he never texted me back. So AITA here",AITA For not returning a laptop?,YTA -111jkzo,"I (32m, swarthy complexion) brought my husband (25m, ginger) on a weeklong beach vacation in Mexico to get away from winter. It’s very expensive by our standards (about $4.5k) and I’ve been planning it for months, coming up with some really cool activities. This isn’t a “once in a lifetime” vacation for us, but it’s big enough to be special, not a regular thing. Yesterday I bought some SPF50 sunscreen for my husband and offered to help him apply it, because I don’t want for him to burn. I told him “I’m going to be really bummed if we can’t do some of these cool things we’ve planned because you’re sunburned after day one”. He declined because he doesn’t like the greasy feeling of sunscreen on his skin; and because I trust him to make his own decisions I let it go. A bit later in the afternoon I noticed his ears were getting red and I offered him my facial moisturizer which is 30spf and doesn’t feel greasy. He declined this and also my offer to buy him a sun hat. “I know my skin, I’ll let you know when I’ve had too much sun” he told me, and I accepted that, though I did reiterate that I was looking forward to activities in the sun and would be upset if we couldn’t do them. It’s now day two and because he is sunburn he hasn’t wanted to go on the beach or into the water with me and he’s informed me that he’d prefer to stay on the beach and watch from the shade while I go on the sea turtle snorkeling trip I’ve booked for us. Yes I can have fun doing things on my own, but I’m pretty bummed that it’s starting to look like I’m going to spend a week doing adventurous couples activities by myself. TL,DR: Will I be the asshole if I get mad at my ginger husband for refusing to protect himself from the sun and spending our very expensive vacation inside? Note: I may be slow to respond to info requests because I’m in a beachside paradise with very limited cell service and spotty wifi.",WIBTA for telling my husband I’m angry at him for being sunburnt?,NTA -111w3kq,"i (21f) had made a plan with my bf (23f) to go to a super bowl party with him at one of his frat brother’s houses. we had talked about this plan (that he would text me when he was headed over so we could go together) at about 1pm the day of (the super bowl started at 4:30 our time) at around 4 i checked his location and it was already at the house the party was at. i thought maybe he was helping set up and then he would come get me closer to when the game would start. he didn’t. i waited over an hour to see if he would text me at all, and then around 5:30 i decided to text him and told him i was confused and disappointed and asked to talk to him after the game. he seemed to have no idea why i was upset so i (albeit a little rudely) reminded him of the plan we had made earlier that day. he said “oh sorry, i forgot i was gonna come get you, i ended up getting a ride from my roommate” i told him i had been waiting over an hour for him to text me but i was just met with another “sorry, you can still come if you want” i told him i didn’t want to now because i felt like he didn’t want me there. that conversation didn’t really go anywhere and i finally decided to go over right before half time (i didn’t wanna miss rihanna). i was pretty passive aggressive to him the rest of the evening which i recognize isn’t productive but i was still extremely hurt by what happened. we ended up talking after but the discussion seemed to go in circles and somehow it got flipped to being about how i “always attack him” when he “just made an honest mistake” and how it hurts him when he “can’t seem to live up to my standards”. he ended up saying he needs space for a few days to figure out why we keep having fights like this and again “why he can’t live up to my standards”. i apologized for being rude and assuming the worst but i still don’t feel like i got a genuine apology for being forgotten about. AITA?",AITA for how i reacted to my BF forgetting to pick me up?,NTA -111xif7,"I (16m) have been diagnosed with alopecia. I've had it for about a year now, and I've lost most of the hair on my head so now I've been shaving it for a while.It's always a question people ask when they first meet me: ""how come you have no hair?"" And sometimes, if I don't want to get into it, I'll just say that its a medical condition in a way that makes it clear that I'd rather not talk about it. Unfortunately, this has led to some people jumping to the conclusion that I have cancer. I was having a laugh with some friends about it, and said something along the lines of: ""damn, ig I've got cancer now. Does that mean I don't have to go to school anymore?"" - as a joke. A guy walking past overheard me and got mad that I made a joke about having cancer, and said that it was too far, and got really quite mad and stormed off.I thought it was a harmless joke, but ig it could've been a bit too far, so.. AITA?",AITA for joking about having cancer?,NTA -111stuz,"I've been working as a nanny for an insanely rich family for around 2 months now. They have 8 kids, me (23) working full time, another full time nanny (30's), and an au pair (21). The other nanny is a bitch. Everything I do is wrong with her, even if she does the same thing. For example, I took the younger kids to the park and she got mad at me for not running it by her even though she leaves with the kids all the time. The au pair told me I won't last long if I don't listen to her/she doesn't like me but the parents and kids don't seem to have a problem with me so I thought it was fine.The parents were out of town last weekend and moved her hours around so she and I were barely working the same hours. My first hour and her last hour were the same. The hour was up and I was expecting her to go back to her guest house (I'm not supposed to hang around after my shift is up) but she finished what she was doing then made herself a coffee and sat on the couch. She spent almost all day sitting on the couch and telling me everything that she thought I was doing wrong. I left a mess when I baked with the kids, took them to mcdonald's instead of making lunch, wasn't holding the baby enough, didn't come right back to the house after driving the kids to various activities. She ended up taking the younger two because she didn't think I was capable of taking care of them. Towards the end of the day I snapped and called her a bitch and she told me not to come back the next day. I was on the schedule so I showed up and was on time (she always complains about me being late but I have to be buzzed through a million different gates to get to their house) and she refused to let me in. I called the parents and they said what the other nanny says goes and they'll talk to her when they get back and not to come in until further notice. The au pair texted me and said that I was out of line ""cursing her out"" and not listening to her because she runs the house when the parents aren't there. She also gave me a heads up that I'm most likely fired. Aita for not listening to the other nanny because she's not my boss?",AITA for not taking criticism from another nanny?,YTA -111unfs,"I have two SILs and while I love the first, I dislike the second. SIL #2 is constantly stirring up drama and throwing SIL and my family under the bus and threw me to the wind when I refused to back her actions.I try not to associate with her but she’s entrenched in the same community I am in and stirs up drama there too and everyone laughs at her and my family as a result. It’s been years of being the laughingstock of every social gathering and dealing with my SIL’s constant attention seeking behavior and the effect it has on me and my family. A big part of it has to do with what she posts online, although she blocked me and SIL #1 on everything, but people keep sending me screenshots of what she posts, asking me what’s going on or laughing about it. Finally, SIL #1 and I got tired of finding out secondhand when SIL #2 does something embarrassing so we made a fake Instagram account to see what she’s posting. We didn’t comment or like her posts, only looked at the story on her public modeling account.I don’t know how but SIL #2 found out and proceeded to blast us on her private account, talking about how she’s filing a restraining order to prevent her “SIL” (me or SIL #2) from seeking future employment and claiming that she was afraid for her life, whilst posing for selfies without a care in the world. I found out because someone screenshot it to ask if I was okay. Came to find out that everything she said was a lie to scare SIL #1 and I.I figured if she was going to post something humiliating like that on her private account, for all 1,000 of her followers in our community, then I would broaden her post’s reach by ensuring our extended family got to see who she really is. So I posted it on Facebook for all the family and world to see, since she stands by what she said.My family thinks it was out of line that I made a fake account and then posted her story and “embarrassed the family”. AITA?TLDR; AITA for public posting my SIL’s private callout post about me?",AITA for posting my SIL’s private Instagram story online?,ESH -111ulhk,"So let me just preface this with: I'm kind of a messy person, and I tend to leave things out, and I know that makes me the asshole in general. I take full responsibility for that. My mother and I live together, and I normally will leave my bag on my chair when I come home from school, or some items I was looking at (like books, magazines, etc) on my spot on the couch. She does not sit in these places, and I do not sit in her spots. I also have adhd, and she does not want me to take medication for it, but unfortunately, it results in some executive dysfunction issues, especially when it comes to doing tasks and chores. If I'm given a long list of things to do, I'll do one of those things as soon as it's told to me, and then completely forget the rest. Even if I make a physical list, 50% of the time I'll just forget to look at it. Additionally, the stuff usually gets done by the end of the day, just not ask early as she'd like.However, my mother does this thing where right as I'm headed out the door, she'll ask me to do some sort of task that I had forgotten to do earlier. I'll say ""ok I'm leaving, bye,"" and then she'll say ""well you never did (xyz)."" I don't mind doing the task, but normally, stopping to do it will make me late for whatever I'm headed out to do.Yesterday, she asked that at some point, I try to find one of my cookie cutters, because she wanted to make cow shaped cookies this week. I figured I would find it at some point later in the week, but then she had me go get it right as I was headed out the door. Today, I had apparently left some books I was sorting out to donate in the living room, and she sat completely silent in the living room for two hours while I was doing some schoolwork, but only told me that she wanted the books put away as I was leaving for class. I wouldn't have minded doing it two hours prior, or when I got back, but apparently she wanted it done right at that moment. She also hates me just ""throwing stuff in my room"" so I had to look around for a box to put them in. I normally try to get to class 20 minutes early so I can find parking, and today, if I hadn't been lucky and found a spot right when I got there, I would have been late.I asked that she not give me tasks to do right when I'm leaving the house, but her rationale is that I should have already done the thing. My rationale is that it obviously hasn't been done, and the problem is that she waits to ask until right when I am going to leave, thus making me late. I take full responsibility for not completing the task in the first place, I just want to know if I'm an ass for asking that she not wait until my car keys are in my hand to tell me to do something.",AITA for asking that I not be given tasks right as I'm leaving the house?,NTA -111x906,"My gf and my mum had an altercation over an extra carrier bag. Mum bought us food items to bring back to our place and they were packing together. Mum insisted to split some of the food into two bags but gf insisted to fit the items into one bag and this ended up spiraling into a frenzy where they keep repacking things from one bag into to bags, back to one bag and so on so forth. (I wasn't around at this point of time). They finally came to an impasse when mum mentioned to let me decide when I come back. I came back and turns out I could fit the extra items into my own backpack and thus issue resolved.&#x200B;We reached home and gf started complaining that she goes back to visit parents in order to give them a good impression of herself. I told her that ""If your plan is to give a good impression, you shouldn't be arguing over a carrier bag."" To which she mentioned that I just want her give in and bootlick my mum's shoes. I mentioned to her that arguing over a bag isn't worth it and sometimes she just needs to let go. &#x200B;Did I do/say anything out of line?",AITA for telling my girlfriend to not argue with my mother over a carrier bag?,NTA -111eftc,"Yesterday I(21M) was at a family reunion. There were two groups that both ordered out from different places. I was part of the second group(6 of us) that ordered from Popeyes. My cousin(F22) and her husband(M27) were in charge of going to get the food. They had popeyes coupons with them. All of the older adults(our parents) all put money together so we could buy the food. My cousin was given $50 for her to go get the popeyes. We each gave her our order which should not have exceeded $75 max. Well she goes to get the food and bought SOOOO much unnecessary crap. There was sooo much excess food leftover that no one ate. My sister(18) went with her and told me that my cousin had said something along the lines of “we’re going to buy the whole menu since they gave us the money”. I want to state that this is not the first time that she’s done something like this. There have been multiple occasions where our parents give us their credit cards to split bills and she orders soo many unnecessary food. She’s is very rude in this way and many other ways. Well, in total she said that they spent $125 worth of food at Popeyes. My family was shocked and taken aback when she demanded they reimburse her(in front of everyone). Well somehow it was decided that I would pitch in for some of the food. Today she is texting me asking for her money. I told her im not paying her because she was being irresponsible as always. I told her that it’s common sense if you’re given $50 for food then that is the budget. Obviously that was too much for her and her 27yo husband to handle. I think she is being very rude not only to me but everyone.I think i could possibly be the asshole for not paying her. I kind of feel bad thinking about it now.",AITA for not paying my cousin?,NTA -111pwfj,"My niece Sam(5) was at my house the other day and I told her when she went to grab my cat Azim(2) that she doesn’t really like people so be careful with her but in reality Azim is a love bug and loves people holding her so when my niece grap my cat Azim immediately snuggled into her so I told Sam she usually doesn’t do that my niece was so excited that Azim liked her, she had a big smile on her face. When my mother(Sara) came to take my niece home Sam immediately told her that Azim liked her and that she usually doesn’t like people but liked her with a big smile on her face my mother told her to go in the car when she left the house my mother was pissed I lied to her she was yelling at me saying you can’t lie to kids they will get the wrong idea about the world I told her it was not a bad thing to lie about and everything was perfectly fine she told me go to hell and left. A couple hours later I went to my sister’s house to see my niece my sister(Hasmine) looked mad and my mother was beside her Hasmine took are mothers side saying I can’t lie to Sam with stuff like that and that I was an asshole for lying to a five year oldSo AITA for lying to Sam",AITA for lying to my niece,NTA -111kvs1,"I (24F) met up with my childhood best friend (24M) a few days ago. We’ve been through a lot together and he’s like a brother to me. He’s told me he has feelings for me many times and I’ve expressed that I do NOT see him that way and I do not want a relationship with him. From there I’ve taken a step back and only see him once or twice a year.On Friday we met up for lunch and he said he has a belated Christmas / Birthday gift for me, it’s never anything big or grand and I hate gifts, but I said ok.He proceeded to give me a jewelry box (I hate jewelry) and I opened it to show a gold necklace with BOTH our initials on it with diamonds. I said thank you regardless of the gift making me uncomfortable. I would also like to add I am in a COMMITTED relationship with my girlfriend.To me this is a gift you give someone you’re dating, not just friends.I feel like me telling him he will never be more isnt getting through to him and I feel like I need to cut him off completely now because I don’t feel like he’s respecting my decision.Would I be the asshole for returning the necklace where he bought it? It was $875.00 I don’t want to see him again, I’m still in shock.",AITA if I return an expensive gift for cash?,NTA -111n3ux," Hello there, I (42 m) is married to my amazing wife (42 f) for twenty years. we've been together since we were 17 and we love and respect each other very much, she's the light and the love of my life. In past five years I'm trying to heal her relationship with food with special breakfasts but I was told by my niece that this act is harmful. We grew up in a very very small town and knew eachother since kindergarten but started dating during high school. Ever since then she always went back and forth from her eating disorder while also showing symptoms of ADHD and depression. My mother, a youth therapist, always advised me how to handle her cause she was very fond of her and our love. Her ED started to fade as we graduated high school and started uni together, through our studying we also got married. Twelve or thirteen years ago she started relapsing and going back to starving herself, what caused me tons of anxiety, misery and discomfort while she's suffering. She didn't realize how sick she was so I went to an Ed dietitian without her or her knowing to get some advices that really helped her and her condition. In the past five years, ever since she became the editor in chief for a very successful newspaper, I do something extra for her. I wake up everyday at 06:30, half an hour early, to make her some very special bento (breakfast in a box). I always put inside my good thoughts, creativity and all the foods she really likes to encourage her eating, thinking that if she'll remember my extra effort for her she'll feel bad for throwing away the food. I was proudly telling about this to my mother one time and one of my sisters kids, she's about 17, told me about something called ""guilt tripping"" and that I manipulate my wife. this left me kinds shocked because all I ever wanted for her is to eat and be healthy so we could grow old together. so... am I the asshole?",AITA for making food for my post anorexia wife?,NTA -111ryw3,"I (24M) was asked to pick up my mom, dad, and two of my brothers from the airport next weekend. I live in my family home in the suburbs of a major metro area, and getting to the airport in question generally takes anywhere from 60min-2hrs.Normally I would have no problem picking them up, as my parents have done the same for me in the past and we generally have a good relationship. However, their flight arrives at 9:45pm on a Saturday. I work from home and do not get to spend time with my friends who have moved in closer to the city during the week, as my work hours + drive time to get to them generally does not make it work. So Fridays and Saturdays I try to reserve for spending time with friends. My parents know this and are mostly respectful of my time and will not ask me to do favors for them if they know I have plans already.While I do not have particular plans for that Saturday as of yet, my plans tend to form sporadically on the day of or the day before (I feel this is typical of people my age). Knowing that their flight arrives at 9:45pm, I figure that would leave me busy from at least 8:30 - 11pm. This is the timeframe in which my weekend activities generally start, and this timeframe would likely sacrifice my Saturday evening.I told my mom that if they have no other way out, I will come get them, but asked if they could instead get an Uber or have a family friend help out (my parents have some friends in transportation that could likely arrange a transport for cheaper than an Uber).My mom got very upset at me, and argued that because she has done the same for me in the past, I should suck it up and do them this favor. It is true that she has picked me up from the airport in the past, I never felt like I demanded that she pick me up. There have been times where I have traveled home alone by plane or train and she did not pick me up, either because she was busy or just too tired. Fair enough, and in those times I have gotten home alone fine with no complaints, so I feel like she and the rest of the family should be able to do the same.My mom said that frankly she does not want to pay for an Uber. I responded by telling her that while she has done similar favors for me in the past, there have been times where she could not for one reason or another and I've accepted it, and it's unfair that she can't do the same for me now. I kinda feel like an AH for prioritizing my social time over helping my family out, but I don't think it's an unreasonable ask for them to put the car in long-term parking, get an Uber, or arrange with family friends. And although I haven't proposed this yet, I would even be willing to pay for the Uber since my mom has done the same for me in the past, or even go earlier in the day and leave the car so I could have an uninterrupted night out. Is this something I should propose, or should I indeed sacrifice my Saturday to pick them up?EDIT: I now see that I am the AH here. I have apologized to my parents and of course offered to pick them up. Thanks guys.",AITA for not wanting to pick up my family from the airport?,YTA -111rynx,"For nearly 3 years, my sibling hasnt attended any of my kids bday parties. Our kids get along, so I don't see the issue. He & his wife would either try to see us before or after said party as a way to make up for it, but lately, it's turned into a ""we're in the neighbourhood, we're dropping off the gift on your front steps"" type deal.Sometimes they'll say they already made plans/plans will suddenly come up, so they don't come.Once I noticed itd been almost 2yrs since they came to any of the birthdays, I wondered if maybe I was telling them too last minute, so I told them earlier in advance. I'd get a ""that's way too far in our calendar to know if we can attend"".Mind you, we've gotten invites to their kids parties as much as 3 months in advance.Thereve been times where they're in the neighbourhood bc they're running errands & they'll drop by for a bit, then go on their way. I never turn them away, even when they show up unannounced.There have been times myself& my husband switch some things around in our schedule to accommodate their visits since we see them so rarely.On these visits, it's hard not to feel like we're just something to check off their list bc it's clear they got things to do & don't stay long.We get along pretty well & we're open w/ each other. If the kids happen to be home when they come by, they play w/ them & talk to them. They're very warm & loving with them.The most recent time we saw them (not a birthday party, significant family get together) they only stayed about 2 hrs, then left because his wife had made plans to see a friend for lunch, even though we had food, the kids were having a wonderful time & they were told a month & a half in advance about the family get-together.It just doesn't feel like we're important enough to them, or that the friendship between our kids is important enough to them.To be clear, they aren't introverts in the least bit. They make sure their kids go to their friends birthday parties/hang outs. WIBTA?",WIBTA If I stop reaching out to my sibling?,INFO -111nm0g,"So I am a teenage girl who is recovering from a mild eating disorder and my parents (and siblings) think because I had an eating disorder that they can take my food whenever they want to. So, I was going to go eat something, a light snack, and when I walked away my mom took some of the food in my bowl. I refilled it, and my mom took some MORE of the food in the bowl. As she was in the process of taking another handful (mind you, I didn't put a lot in the bowl) I pushed the bowl away from her. My mom put on a hurt face and asked me why I was being selfish. My siblings came in and started calling me all sorts of names. Everyone has been angry at me for it so AITA?",AITA for not letting my mom take my food?,NTA -111nvg0,"I know it sounds harsh, but recently I got in a heated discussion with my dad and called him useless. My dad has been a stay-at-home parent for 20+ years, he has been helping take care of my disabled brother while my mom works and is the main breadwinner. The thing is, my brother has a caregiver we pay for, and he has had this caregiver for about 18 years now. So, all my father has done these past few years is do laundry and dishes, and he complains about it often and expects to be praised for it.He could work but uses my brother as a scapegoat, and honesty he kinda neglects my brother. He has been nothing but rude and abusive my whole life, I got all the abuse as I'm the youngest and have historically been the easiest target. As I'm older now and planning to move out, I have picked up some household chores (I do dishes, clean upstairs occasionally, and do laundry) so my father essentially does nothing now.My mother, however, is easily manipulated and he has been constantly talking bad about me to her, he has made her believe that I am lazy and do nothing. I go to school full-time (getting a second degree), and I work part-time and help out as much as I can with chores and with my brother. I was also a varsity athlete for much of my schooling and graduated with first-class honours in my first degree. I'm not lazy.So when my father started accusing me of not doing anything around the house, of being a deadbeat, I snapped for the first time in my life and called him useless. He hasn't talked to me since, and honestly its been nice. But I'm questioning if I'm a bad person now. He had a hard childhood, but so did I. Idk if his and/or my anger is justified. I'm just hurt and confused and feel like an asshole.",AITA for telling my dad he's useless,NTA -111snwl,"I moved into this house two and a half years ago. 7 months into living here I agreed to let my friend of 6 years move in and put her name on the lease.Several months began getting involved with one another and were dating for 5 or so months before she called it off (something about still being broken up about her ex which I understand). This was in October.Since then its been weird living together. We're both in our late twenties and want to get on with our dating lives but living in a small apartment with an ex makes that sort of thing hard and awkward. It's been taking a toll on me mentally. I want to have space from her and become friends again (we used to be really close) but its impossible to get space in our current living situation.Our lease comes up in May. It's a 2-year lease. I politely told her that I'm having a hard time living with her and ultimately I don't feel comfortable re-signing a lease with her. I was extremely clear that I had zero intentions to make her homeless and told her I would be willing to sign a 6 month sublease agreement so that she can feel secure while she looks for adequate housing. I even said if it was really bad out there I can give her more time.Basically, I don't want to displace her but I don't want to be obligated to share housing for the next 2 years.She had a meltdown. Literally crying on the ground, begging me, pleading with me to let her sign. She said if she wasn't on the lease she feels as though I could just kick her out at the drop of a hat (something that I would literally never do and I've never done anything remotely that shitty to her or anyone else in my life - for the record). I told her she was letting her anxiety get the best of her and that I'm not looking to fuck with her, I just want to move on with my life.She ""promised"" me that she would move out soon but she \*needs\* to be on the lease for a sense of security. I'm not comfortable with this because if at any point she changes her mind then I'm obligated to live with her for 2 years unless I want to move out, which I don't want to do.I stayed firm on not letting her sign the lease and since then she has been slandering my name to our friends. She has blocked me from group chats and has told people that I'm basically a domineering tyrant trying to exert power over her. Telling everyone that I'm an asshole and a piece of shit who doesn't care about anyone but himself. Implying that she'll have to leave town immediately and I'm the reason for it. I'm terribly upset by this.Am I the asshole?Edit #2: Abbreviating this wall of text Edit: I'll also ad that the rental market is very tough where I am. It's a small town with very few options but they do come available. Hence why I agreed to giving her half a year + if she needs.",AITA - Telling my ex that she can't sign a two year lease with me,NTA -111kmgl,"Emily and I (34F) have been friends for 15+ years. I no longer want to tell her anything about my personal life. She still talks to my ex's best friends and asks them for updates about my ex. I have been NC with my cheating ex for 3 years now. I don't know why she is doing this and I haven't said anything because I don't want her to start being extra sneaky about it. I am paranoid she repeats everything I say to them. So this combined with my feelings on her in general- she makes me feel really bad about myself after every interaction we have and is very judgemental. I feel there are always such bitchy undertones in the way she speaks to me and she can never take no for an answer.So when she asked me nosy questions I either didn't answer or was vague. Emily caught on and asked what was wrong with me, she noticed I was being distant. I finally came clean and explained to her how I don't trust her anymore and am always feeling judged. If she wants to keep in contact with certain people that is OK and in turn I can choose to not talk about certain things with her. Emily got upset and now our other friend is getting involved like she is her advocate telling me Emily would never do anything to hurt me.I feel like the bad guy now, AITA here?",AITA for no longer telling my friend anything about my life?,NTA -111j0gz,"Context: I left my mentally abusive ex (we will call him Bob) with my two children whom are 4 and 1. I have full custody, and my lawyer and I are working on child support. We live in an expensive state. I recently found out I was pregnant again with my new boyfriends baby, whom lives in my home state (Ohio). It was a huge shock, and I'm not sure what to think of it yet. I don't want another yet, but that's besides the point...During my last relationship, I wasn't allowed to work, and any extra money I made was severely controlled. I've found it extremely difficult to stay afloat financially because he doesn't help, and I've had to borrow some money from family to keep bills paid/food on the table.Bob has had a track record of doing drugs since we split and constantly spending any extra money on partying rather than contributing to the kids. He's recently admitted to being severely depressed, and his finances got so screwed, he is facing eviction.If I moved back to ohio, I'd have support from my family, lower cost of living, and then I'd be with my boyfriend, whom om expecting with.Today Bob got the letter about the motion to relocate and I'm feeling heartbroken for him. I feel VERY guilty. I know he's very sad, but I really can't keep going and staying afloat. My car is facing repossession now, and next months bills keeps me up at night....AITA?",AITA for filing a motion to move back to my home state with my kids while the father of my kids would still live here?,NTA -111jb81,"My ex sent me a forwarded message on WhatsApp asking people to follow her Photography insta. I didn't wanna reply or engage in conversation. So I deleted the text and archived the chat with her, so I wouldn't be notified if she sent more messages. My current girlfriend of 3 years is very jealous of everything and I am very secretive and private with my stuff after she went through my phone, texts and stuff multiple times while I was in the shower or something like that. &#x200B;I'm trying to trust she won't do that kind of stuff anymore, so my mom texted me something I wasn't in the mood to reply, I gave my phone to my gf so she could reply for me and went to the bathroom. When I came back, she had gone through my archived messages. Saw the empty chat with my ex and freaked out thinking something is happening between us and I deleted it (she now lives across the planet and we haven't talked in years). She thinks I'm lying, that I'm hiding something, when I'm not. Don't know how to proceed with this. Am I the asshole for trying to avoid conflict by not deleting mentioning my ex forwarded this generic message weeks ago?",AITA For deleting a single text message my ex sent me and not telling my gf about it?,NTA -111m071,"Context: my fiancé (26M) and I (25F) moved to a different state for job opportunities and had been living with my FMIL’s brother for ~5 months while we got settled with our new jobs and got some money saved up for our own place. The agreement was, we either pay uncle $400/mo or help him with whatever he wanted done around his house. Uncle is a hoarder and thinks everyone’s trash is his treasure. He’s also fairly well off and has never really hurt for money as he is a middle-aged single guy in the military. We had been helping him try to clean out his garage and spare rooms in his house so we could have room and he could get rid of some of his junk, but apparently that wasn’t good enough. We all got into arguments pretty often because my fiancé and his uncle are both non-confrontational and refused to talk to each other about expectations while living there. My fiancé had been job hopping a few times because he couldn’t find the right fit, they wouldn’t pay him enough, or he’d have crazy insane hours he wasn’t a fan of. So basically, I was the one with the stable job and therefore we were unable to properly save enough for our own place. Eventually, uncle has had enough and tells me one night at about 10pm that I need to give him $400 now or have our stuff out by the next day. Tried telling him we don’t have the money, it isn’t fair for him to dump this on us last minute, we don’t have a place lined up to stay, etc. He got super mad and told me to gtfo before midnight or he’s calling the cops. My fiancé gets his mom on the phone and she takes her brother’s side (of course). Except she starts yelling and cussing at me. She says I’m a terrible person, I’m causing fiancé’s relationship with his family to break apart, F*** me, and if he stays with me he’s a dumba**. Yes, those were her actual words. There was some more said as well, but I’m sure you get the idea. Since then, I haven’t spoken to uncle or her. She continues to go about her days like nothing happened and talk to her son like normal, never bringing up how she spoke to me that night or anything about me in general. Now that we’re well in to planning our wedding, she’s saying I’m cutting her out of the planning process and is demanding an apology for ignoring her and “treating her like s***”. I told my fiancé I wasn’t speaking to her until I received an apology for the way she spoke to me and the names she called me.So, AITA for not apologizing to her even though she called me all those terrible things?",AITA for not apologizing to my FMIL,NTA -111jz3f,"First of all, I know smoking is bad. It's a bad habit, and I wouldn't encourage anyone to do it. But I'm an adult and if I want to make bad choices that's on me. This post isn't an attempt to defend smoking.But the fact is, I'm a smoker. I do it even though it's bad for me. Again, as an adult, I can engage in legal bad habits.My boyfriends mother absolutely despises smoking. The first time we were invited to her house for dinner, my boyfriend asked me not to bring my cigarettes because his mother hates them. I agreed - her house, her rules. No problem with that.But when I lit up a cigarette in his backyard where we normally smoke (yes we - he smokes too) he asked me to put it out because he didn't want me to smell like smoke before we head to his mother's. I thought that was a bit controlling but I complied because I wanted to make a good first impression.Time goes by, and one day we run into his mother and her partner in the shopping centre. Once we get outside I do what I always do after shopping - I go to the designated smoking area and have a cigarette. All three of them looked at me with disgust. When we got home, we argued.It's not that he doesn't want me to smoke at his mother's house. Like I said, her house her rules I have no problem with that. But he wanted me to lie and pretend I didn't smoke at all. I even jokingly said during the argument ""what about on our wedding day?"" And he very seriously responded ""we just won't smoke on the day.""Excuse me? I can't smoke on my own wedding day because you're too afraid to tell your mum *we both smoke*?I am in my 30s. I don't even pretend I don't smoke to my own mother. She knows I smoke - she disapproves obviously but as an adult I can make bad decisions and not have to lie about them.My boyfriend thinks I'm behing an AH because ""if I can go a day without smoking, so can you."" The smoking isn't the point. The request is. You don't want me to smoke at your mother's house, fine. But don't ask me to lie about being a non smoker. If we're not at her house and I want a cigarette, I'm having one.Does that make me the AH?",AITA for smoking in front of my boyfriends mother when I know she hates smoking?,NTA -111owg1,"For some context: 1) This is a small private school I was forced to go to this year by my parents, I came from a public school and didn't know anyone from here.2) This is one of those situations where you try and be somebodies friend because you think they're treated unfairly, and then you realize why people dislike them.3) I am really bad at reading emotions and have been trying to get better at it but I still fail a lot4) The other character and I are both in middle schoolI go to a school with a girl I will call 'Shelly', Shelly is in the grade just below me and we are both involved in the same extracurricular. She has asked me to sit on the bus with her on the way to a convention for this extracurricular.I had an odd feeling about her at first, she just seemed like the type of personality to clash with me, but the people I was getting closer to at this school were all saying that they didn't really like her and I wanted to form my own opinion.So I tried talking with Shelly and off the bat she is giving off some vibes I don't really like, she would actively look over at my phone to see what I'm doing (asked her to not and she still does it), she would walk into serious conversations that are between two people, and she would grab and touch my things without permission (phone, backpack, sketchbook, that sort of thing)Last week I asked her brother (also at this school) when we were randomly in the library together if there was a reason she touched and grabbed things, I know some people have nonverbal ways of asking to do things (I have them myself) and was wondering if there was something I'm missing (see context note 3). He said he didn't know why and it was just something she does. The next day Shelly approached me before school and said that her brother was now going to tell everybody that she was a bad friend who grabbed things all the time. I apologize, I really didn't think he would do this and I did my best to stick straight to the facts about what she would do when describing it to him. I want to tell her that I don't want to sit next to her on the bus to the convention (Shelly asked me a few weeks ago before any of this happened and this is a few hours of bus riding) and I don't know how and if it would just be rude.At this point I just don't really want to sit next to her because as much as I tried, our personality's clash and I don't want to be around her. However I also want to know if what I did was bad and if this would just be mean.So AITA and WIBTA??",AITA and WIBTA I don't want to sit next to another girl on the bus,NTA -111qg0c,"I (30F) am slowly going insane listening to my husband’s (39M) TikTok videos playing all day. Over the weekend, he watched about 6 hours a day of videos. I’d ask him to put the phone away, to engage with our kids (4 and 2)… and he would for a bit but pretty quickly picked it back up out of habit. I’ve told him he spends too much time on this and he equates it to my hobbies, knitting and reading, which I fundamentally disagree with. I think my hobbies are productive and educational, and his is slowly rotting his brain. I like to knit when I watch TV, but if I do so while we are watching a movie together, he will say he also gets to watch videos at the same time. I absolutely can not handle to duel audio. Before kids, he used to cycle and play video games but now it seems his only hobby is TikTok. Has anyone successfully gotten their partner to stop the obsessive scrolling.. especially if they don’t want to :( WIBTA for asking him to stop when it seems like this is his new way of relaxing and his only hobby?",WIBTA if I asked my husband to give us his only hobby (TikTok),NTA -111qef6,"I (25F) am being called “unappreciative” and “selfish” for wanting to use half our taxes this year for my dream car. It’s used, and cheap, and my literal dream car. My husband (30M) is the bread winner and I stay home with our 3 toddlers, so tax time is the only time I (am supposed) to get a little money. Tax season 2021, I was supposed to get a new vehicle. My husband bought himself one instead, which he needed. No biggie. Tax time 2022, he promised me I would get a vehicle but instead bought himself a street bike. I’ve been using my moms suv for 2 years now and it’s going to sh*t. It’s older and has LOTS of miles and a new car is something my husband keeps promising me. (For reference my dream car is $5K usd not like brand new) Since he got his “dream bike” last year and used the taxes on dumb stuff and some bills, this year was finally supposed to be my year. He’s now trading his bike for a 2 door sports car (won’t fit the kids) and claims I can’t have any of the tax money because it’s all for bills. Now he’s upset that I brought up my dream car and keeps saying things like “I’m supposed to suffer on bills to buy you that stupid car?” “So I’m supposed to waste all the tax money on a car or you’re going to be mad at me?” When I said I wasn’t mad just a little hurt that I always get put last, he went off and started yelling that I’m so selfish and it’s “unreasonable” to buy a car this year because he needs it for bills.. AITA for wanting to get what I want for a change?Also I don’t get any money from him during the year, I don’t get to buy myself anything and half the time if I NEED something for our children I have to borrow the money from my mom.. I just really thought it was my year to finally get something for me..",AITA for wanting a vehicle I was promised 3 years ago?,NTA -111m64y,"I don't have many pet peeves but one big one is eating with your mouth open. To me it feels worse than nails scraping across a chalkboard. Especially when their mouths make that smacking noise. And all (3) of my family members do this. I spend my meal cringing at the noise and trying to drown it out with the noise of my own chewing or whatever else I can use. It makes mealtime stressful and uncomfortable. I honestly feel like a jerk excusing myself to eat apart from them. Especially since it is something they can't control (due to one having facial paralysis from bell's palsy, being unable to close their mouth to chew, and the others being unable to breathe through their nose). Should I ""suck it up"" and be eating with the family?TL;DR: AITA for eating separate from people who eat from their mouths open.Edited: elaboration.&#x200B;",AITA for excusing myself from family meals due to them eating with their mouth open?,NTA -111e8hz,"Mom (50sF) and I (24F) haven't had the best relationship. Growing up she lashed out on me often. She had a very rough childhood and she has never dealt with her past. She doesn't believe in mental illness or therapy. She belittles people who struggle with it. She's never wrong. She doesnt believe she needs help. Typical narcissistic behavior. A few years ago I moved out. Our relationship was better than ever - talking every day, laughing, joking. The distance really helped but there have been toxic moments. I've tried to keep the peace by not arguing back or just apologizing.I've been dating my HS sweetheart, ""FH"" (24M) for almost 7 years. We moved in together Nov2021 and got engaged Nov2022. Neither of us wanted to have a traditional wedding, or a wedding at all. FH and I are a little introverted and very private, so a wedding prospect has never been exciting for us. I know I wouldn't enjoy it, luckily FH feels the same way. We both knew it was best for us to elope and celebrate after. We are planning a honeymoon to enjoy some time away as well.Right away we told people there wouldn't be a wedding, we would just go to City Hall and celebrate afterwards. My mom was supportive, saying ""Yes! Save all that money and put it towards a nice trip!"" Basically, no one else would be there. This was purposeful and for many reasons. For one, we booked a day that we knew people couldn't come. It'll be our 7 year anniversary, middle of the week, in 2 months. But again, this isn't a wedding. That's why we plan to celebrate after, on a day we knew everyone could come.5 days ago, my mom asked me, ""So when is the wedding, and why haven't you invited me yet?"" I told her again that FH and I would get married at City Hall, go on our honeymoon, then celebrate after. She screamed that I HAVE to invite her to that and assumed she would be the signing witness. As I always do, I tried to calm her down and explain. When I tried she told me to shut up and started screaming, ""Do you hate me so much you don't even want me to come be there!?"" Cue all the drama. I said she was overreacting. She began to mock me and make fun of me. She cried and asked me again if I was going to invite her or not. I told her I didn't know what she wanted me to say, and I wasn't going to change my mind, especially after this. She then said, ""Even if you did invite me now, I wouldn't come! You're a horrible person!"" That, and other hurtful things.An hour later I reached out. Here's the actual text I sent: ""Hi Mom I just wanted to say I'm so sorry I didn't mean to upset you. I don't want to be on bad terms with you because [FH and I] both appreciate you so much and still want to celebrate with you.""No reply. It's been 5 days. I'm so upset about this. FH was shocked about it also. Everyday I feel more and more sad and angry. I wanted to give her some space for now. I've been second guessing myself. Maybe I was in the wrong by how she reacted? Idk how to handle this. Am I the asshole?","AITA for not inviting my mom to my ""wedding""?",NTA -111s0cg,"for context, im in my first year of university and i’m supposed to be moving into a new flat with my current flatmates for second year. we’d agreed on this house late last year maybe november/december. at the time we got on great and i genuinely planned on living with the group next year (i paid a holding deposit). however i started to feel distant and uncomfortable around the group coming back after christmas. the rest of the flat seem to have a problem with my partner, despite them being quite close at the beginning of the year. something just switched and since then they’ve been off with me and my partner. i started staying at my partner’s flat more often as neither of us felt comfortable in my flat anymore. since then they’ve stopped inviting me to outings, made a new group chat without me, started using my cupboards in the kitchen for their stuff and left me with one shelf. i’ve tried to speak to them about feeling uncomfortable in the flat and they always seem to say the same thing along the lines of “oh we don’t want you to feel uncomfortable, this is your home as well” but continue to make me feel unwelcome. i’ve already made the decision not to live with them again and not sign the tenancy as i know i probably won’t spend any time there and it’d be a huge waste of money. for some reason i feel guilty about it and as though i’m letting them down. i’m worried that they won’t be able to find another housemate to replace my part of the tenancy and i’ll ruin their chances of getting the house they want. but part of me thinks it’s not my problem and that they should have thought about it before them (what feels like) pushing me away. everyone i’ve spoken to about it agrees with me, but i’m still left feeling guilty for letting them down.edit: i think this is more of a WIBTA as i haven’t yet told them i’m not living with them next year.",AITA for not signing a shared tenancy agreement?,NTA -111lp9i,"I (28F) live with this guy Derek.Derek has an office job that is constantly providing catering or ordering lunch.Derek likes the free food but he constantly has leftovers and he likes to cook, so doesn't always eat his leftovers but didn't want the food to go to waste.He offered me his leftovers. I was very grateful and said I didn't want to accidentally eat something he would have wanted, so we came up with a system.We have separate shelves in the fridge for our stuff, so we agreed that any leftovers Derek didn't want, he would put on my shelves and I was free to eat it if I wanted.Usually Derek would bring leftovers home, sometimes portion some out for himself, then put the rest on my shelves.This morning I found a really nice big baguette on my shelf in the fridge. I was a little surprised that Derek was giving me a whole baguette, but it looked delicious, so I helped myself and made a ton of toast and sandwiches for breakfast and lunch.I had just finished eating it when Derek's girlfriend Cate comes down (sometimes she spends the night) and started cooking.She asked me if I had seen the baguette, and I told her I ate it because it was on my shelf.She got upset and said it was for a special valentine's meal she was making since they couldn't celebrate tomorrow, and said I should buy them a new one.I don't get paid until Friday, AND it was on MY shelf where Derek usually puts stuff for me so I thought it was fair game and shouldn't have to pay for it.She got all huffy and made some rude comments about how gross it was to just eat an entire baguette by yourself.I was insulted and told her to leave.When Derek got home he got upset with me for kicking out his girlfriend, and that I should pay for the baguette.We argued and I don't think they have any right to be mad because that was my shelf and they shouldn't have put it there, and I kicked his girlfriend out for insulting me while he wasn't even there. AITA for doing this and eating the baguette?",AITA for kicking out my roommates girlfriend after she insulted me?,YTA -111vzvf,"Several weeks before my 30th birthday, I made plans with my brother's girlfriend, Sam, to spend the day on the water. After the plans were set and before my birthday, I was informed that Sam and my brother had broken up. At the time, they were living together and had recently gotten their own dog, Sam was a regular fixture at family holidays, and I considered her to be my friend. I had conversations with both my brother and Sam individually about the breakup and from what I was told, it was Sam who had put the breakup on the table and my brother who made the ultimate call for them to go their separate ways. In my brother's words, she was ""too nice."" Eventually, the day of my birthday rolls around and the water day plans get canceled due to bad weather. My brother happens to be out of town and instead of canceling altogether, Sam suggests I come over to their apartment for takeout and wine. I agree and spend the evening consoling her and listening to her cry. Some days later, my brother finds out that I was at his apartment with his ex without his knowledge and he is angry with me. Should I have gotten his permission first? Or let him know when I found out that our plans changed? Did he deserve better from me? Am I the asshole?",AITA: A Birthday Bust,NTA -111j7oj,"I (28f) recently had my birthday. I planned a trip to nyc with my partner, but our childcare fell through and he insisted that I still go and bring a friend instead. So, I invited my friend (27f) that has always wanted to go to nyc. I told her flight and hotel would be covered, but she’d need to pay for her food, drinks, train fare, and the spa I was planning on going to. She agreed and said she was super excited.Well, she told me the night before we left that she was pregnant. She said she couldn’t stand long without passing out, threw up everything she ate, wouldn’t be taking the train or walking anywhere, and obviously couldn’t drink. I was confused because I had sent her every restaurant and bar I had reservations at and she said it all looked amazing. I couldn’t understand why she would say yes to coming, if she felt this awful and couldn’t do anything.There is a whole saga of events, but here are some of the highlights:- Left me at a bar without paying for her (non-alcoholic) drinks- Bailed on my birthday dinner- Used my credit card for room service without asking- Involved me in her lie to her boyfriend, telling me that she told him I had changed the couples massage at the spa to individual massages because of his anxiety of being lied to and cheated on, and told me I had to lie to him if he ever asked- Never asked a question about me and was pretty rude the whole time- Never said “thank you” for the trip or “sorry” for any of her actions- Didn’t take a single photo with me or of meIt was bad. I want to have empathy about her new pregnancy, but I told her she should have told me she was pregnant so I could have planned other things or told her how much walking I was planning on doing, etc.Anywho, I am having a birthday party this week and she wanted her boyfriend to come (who I’ve never met because they’ve only been official for 2 months). I told her I’d need to check RSVPs before saying he could come because I thought we’d already be at capacity.I checked and texted her, saying there wasn’t space for any plus ones. She never responded.The next day, I sent her photos of herself from the trip. She finally responded and said “lol that’s awkward because he was looking forward to coming” Which means she already invited him. I told her that I was sorry, but there wasn’t space and I’d let her know if anything changes.She’s obviously mad at me, but I don’t think I should have to invite someone I don’t know to my birthday, especially if I don’t have the space and after being treated that way.So AITA?",AITA for telling my friend she can’t bring her boyfriend to my birthday party?,NTA -111qoar,"I think I might be, or maybe ESH, but I'll let y'all decide. The parking situation is a parking structure with small spaces. There are two lines, approximately one foot apart, between each space. The other car was parked nose-out to the right side of their space, over the innermost line, close to (but not crossing) the outer line into the adjacent space.I drive a very small car and parked nose-in in the open space such that my car was centered in the space. Because the other car was so far over, I was obliged to exit my car from the passenger side. Note that due to how far over the other driver was parked, he would have been able to enter and exit his vehicle from his passenger side. We happened to be leaving at the same time, so naturally the other driver expressed his frustration in great detail. I pointed out that he was way over in his space, to which he responded that he was not technically double parked. I then left because I realized the situation was only going to escalate (and maybe I was in the wrong).Thoughts?",AITA for parking next to a poorly parked car?,NTA -111qk9t,"In december, I spend a full day IRL with my online bff (we spoke to each other every single day) whom I had met online one year ago. During this day all seems to go well. I did travel during an hour and a half just to see him, I carried his suitcase when we walked in the street…It’s not the first time we saw each other IRL.The two weeks following that one time we saw each other in december, he ghosts me. The day after new year’s eve, he tells me that he is moving in my town, BUT that he will never speak to me again, because he feels like he gives too much emotional support to me and acts too much like my therapist, which tires him, plus he doesn’t like how I keep complaining about society all the time.But I’ve also tried as much as I could to listen carefully to his own problems and tried as much as I could (even though I’m clearly not as good as he is) to emotionally support him with his.Anyway, he also adds that he fears being my friend might be bad for his career because I’ve upset some people. This is where I panic.I get angry and sad, and tell him that I thought we were friends, that I trusted him, that I’m heartbroken, and I ask him who is it that I’ve upset. I get no answer. I get angry, I delete the app. 5 minutes later, I dunno why, I download it again and keep asking for explanations : who did I upset ? Why would being my friend be bad for his career? No answer. I delete the app again. Then I use another app to tell him that leaving me with this is going to give me social anxiety, so thanks a lot. He only answers that this he has blocked me on the other app (which I did not know since I deleted it) and that ‘’this is harassment’’ and he blocks me there too, telling me I’ve just ruined the one year we’ve spent together.One month later, we get invited to the same party and I offer him a little gift, telling him that I apologize about my behavior. He says nothing.Today, I like an old post on his secondary account, he tells me ‘’I told you to stop trying to contact me’’ and I answer ‘’how is liking a post contacting you?’’ and he blocks me there too.I had never trusted anyone more than him. Whether I’m in the right or in the wrong (the latter more likely) in this story, I’ve never felt how I feel now. I feel empty. Completely empty.The advice I’m seeking is what should I do to feel less empty. Btw, I’ve seen multiple therapists and psychiatrists and I already take meds.",AITA for harassing my BFF?,YTA -111ot58,"Me (19 F) and my girlfriend (19 F), have been dating for 3 years, and are both turning 21 next year. For my birthday, my sisters and 2 of their friends (5 women between the ages of 30-35) are taking me to Las Vegas. Of course, I am inviting my girlfriend (note: they do not know we are dating). I told her about all the plans and we are both very excited. We will both be turning 21 so we can celebrate both of our birthdays. My sisters love my girlfriend, however, this is a gift from my sisters to only me.Yesterday, my girlfriend told me she invited her parents (M/F in their late 40s) and their younger sibling (non-binary 16). When I asked why, she replied that this is also a celebration for her, so her parents should be there. She did note that they wouldn't be staying with us or have to be with us the whole time, but I still had some hesitation. my sisters enjoy drinking and clubbing, and I feel comfortable getting drunk around them. my girlfriend has also drank around my sisters and been around them while they were drunk, so I know she is comfortable doing the same around them. Her parents, do not drink and are not party animals. I explained that I'm not sure if my sisters would be comfortable with her parents there, and likewise I'm sure her parents wouldn't be comfortable around my sisters, considering their stark differences. I also tried to tell her that I wouldn't want them to feel discluded because of all the drinking and activities we would be doing that her parents wouldn't enjoy. However, she said that I was calling her parents embarrassing and lame and that she didn't expect it to be a problem. She continued to say that it's her birthday too and her parents can take their own trip to Vegas if they want. I agreed, but again expressed my concerns about how different our family members are, and how I'm not sure if her family would really enjoy it.The argument ended there and we decided we'd talk about it tomorrow. She did say that she should've asked me first, but that now she's not sure if she'll be able to go because her parents don't really trust my sisters. Note, she has been on trips with my sisters and me before, but I do understand her parents being concerned about the drinking that will take place, even though my girlfriend will be 21 and my sisters haven't given her parents a reason to distrust them.I love her parents, but I want to fully enjoy Vegas with my sisters. I feel like her parents coming would prohibit us from doing the things we would do if they weren't there. Am I an asshole for not wanting her family to come and are my reasonings unreasonable?Edit: If you're wondering how/why they don't know we're dating: my girlfriend and I were (and still are) best friends before we started dating, so we already spent a ton of time together. eventually we decided to start dating, but since we were already attached at the hip, nothing really changed around my sisters, we just don't make out in front of them LOL. However, the reason I wont tell them is because my parents are homophobic and I know my sisters will tell my parents. let me be clear my sister's arent homophobic, but they hate keeping secrets from our parents so.",AITA for not inviting my girlfriend's parents to my 21st birthday trip,NTA -111u5u8,"I (F22) met a guy (M26) in Philadelphia while visiting a friend in August. I live six hours away from Philadelphia. We have kept in touch. Occasional texting and calling but nothing daily or weekly. Back in early November we had a phone call and decided after my finals week ended (Dec 18) I would come and visit him for a few days. At this point we were chatting more frequently, not everyday but at least once a week. After thanksgiving I stopped hearing from him. I didn’t hear from him for three weeks. Not until two days before I was suppose to go there to visit. I told him on the phone call I wasn’t sure if I was going to come anymore since I hadn’t heard from him. He asked me why I didn’t reach out to him to confirm this was still happening. I told him that I did text him a picture of myself to him and also reacted to his BeReal during this three week time period and never got a reply. As well I don’t know him THAT well and I started thinking he just didn’t want me to come anymore. He told me that since I said I was going to come during November he didn’t think he had to keep in touch. He also said during that third week of radio silence (which was my finals week) that he didn’t text or call because he didn’t want to bother or distract me. I told him that I of course wanted to come, but not hearing from him for three weeks made me second guess if I was even still wanted. As well I wasn’t sure if I wanted to drive six hours to visit someone that I’ve only met once who couldn’t keep in touch just a few weeks before me coming. He says that I could’ve done more and reached out if I was second guessing the visit. He says that he didn’t reach out because even though we didn’t chat for three weeks he felt that my visit was still happening. I’m trying to be as unbiased as possible while writing this. I’m wondering if I’m the asshole in this situation? He says he was really bummed that I didn’t come. I also tried to say it was both of our faults because of lack of communication on both ends. But he’s saying it’s solely my fault for over thinking this situation and that again I should’ve texted him to confirm. AITA?",AITA for not going on a trip I previously agreed to?,NTA -111sn06,"My (26f) nephew (11m) has been sick for about 2 weeks now. My nephew stayed home from school today since it was closed for a holiday. My brother (29m) and sister in-law (30f) live next-door in my parents’ guest house. I’m in graduate school and live with my parents in the “main” house. Prior to grad school, I worked and decided it was only fair to pay rent to my parents while I took a break between degrees (they never asked). Currently, my parents have no expectation of me to work and fully support me focusing on school to finish my degree sooner. I’ll be done in a few months and plan to pay rent again when I get my next job (until I can move out). This will be relevant later. Anyways, my mom and I were home so my nephew (J) spent the day at my parents house. J wasn’t himself at all. He refused to eat and was in bed sleeping all day. I was confused as to why neither my brother or sister in-law stayed home to take care of him if he was so sick. Later in the afternoon, I heard him loudly vomiting in the bathroom across my room so I went to check on him. My mom was out of the house temporarily. There was vomit on the floor that didn’t look normal. I cleaned up the bathroom, made sure he had tissues, a plastic bag for disposal, and brought him water. I called my brother and told him my concerns about J. IMO he needed to be seen by a doctor ASAP. According to my brother, my sister in-law would be home soon and he would relay my concerns. Then I went out and bought my nephew chicken soup. He had some soup with crackers, but he threw it all up right away. My mom got home and gave him medicine that he was thankfully able to hold down. It was all pretty distressing tbh. I love my nephew and we have a good relationship. Finally, my brother shows up to my parents house from work. We were all in the kitchen at this point. My brother said he would wait for my sister in-law to arrive to call J’s doctor because he “doesn’t know any of that stuff” and started snacking on a chicken wing. I was pissed because he was acting nonchalant while his son is visibly ill, but I kept my cool since we were in front of J. I said, “You’re his dad. You should know who his medical provider is in case anything happens.” He immediately got defensive and claimed he’s dealing with a lot. I doubled down and told him I still think he should know. My brother blew up at me claiming I shouldn’t be saying anything because I don’t even pay rent and that I was being a dumb bitch. He stormed out of the house calling me a dumb bitch and going off about his work troubles. I didn’t say a word, just let him curse at me as he was leaving in a huff. My mom was shouting at him to stop and closed the door behind him. Afterwards, J turned to me and told me he loves me. I wanted to cry, but I held it in. My mom told me I shouldn’t have doubled down and antagonized my brother. AITA?",AITA for telling my brother he should know his sons medical provider?,NTA -111fmv5,"I (21f) have been having a very rough relationship with my mother since early 2020 because she abandoned me. To add a little backstory about my life and context, my mom (48f), my little brother (18m) and I(21f) have always moved around a lot growing up because my mom would either fight with neighbors or get us kicked out of apartments by not paying rent or whatever, this always led to us having to move around our state a lot. I've always hated this and it's always frustrated me because one, i'm in a wheelchair so like moving all over the place isn't ideal because it's quite hard to find handicapped accessible apartments and two, I could never keep friends because how am I supposed to keep in touch in like elementary and middle school so it was a struggle for me a lot. Part of why my mom was like this was because she had some sort of paranoia about our neighbors or people listening to our conversations and mimicking her but no one else heard this so it was a lot to struggle with as a kid because she refused to get help and I was consistently left taking care of my younger brother and we have older siblings but they don't want to be involved with her also because she won't get help.With that being said, back in late 2019, I was 17 and we had gotten evicted from another apartment and was homeless again, when we moved out we left basically all of our belongings because we needed to pack light since she just wanted to stay in motels in the area until she could find somewhere. During that time so stayed with my ex gf so I could stay in high school because I was a junior. The day I turned 18 her mom wanted me out so I stayed in hotels close to school and i could afford it because I had recently received a settlement for my car accident. In December of 2019 before going on a trip with friends, i found out my mom took $1000 from my account and her and my little brother left me so she could buy a house in NC and basically told me I’m an adult and can take care of myself. Thankfully I had family in Maine, I let them know what the situation was and they took me in and im in a much better place physically and mentally.Almost 3 years later my mom and I barely talk, she texts me randomly to ask me to pay her phone bill or to say she misses me. She's still basically homeless and my younger brother lives with friends. Yesterday when she texted me and asked for money I told her no and she called me selfish and I snapped and reminded her of the fact that she abandoned me, she then gaslit me and told me ""most of that money is owed to her for taking care of me for 18yrs and that she was tired of taking care of me and my brother so one of us needed to go and I was 18 so why couldn't 1 go live with someone else because she hasn't had a moment to herself since she had kids"" I was livid and I just stopped replying to her. A few people have called me an asshole for not having sympathy for her struggles as a parent and yes I understand but nothing to me justifies it….. AITA?",AITA for not having a lot of sympathy for my mom,NTA -111lmv4,"I pay approximately $6,000 per month in household expenses while my spouse (""spouse"") pays approximately $400/mo. We have 3 kids, one is a toddler.Spouse dropped their ($40k/yr) career for me to attend graduate school for a few years. During that time I paid all expenses with student loans and we each paid half of grocery bills. After I graduated, I made it clear that it is 100% Spouse's choice if they want to stay home with toddler or send toddler to daycare so Spouse can work. Full enthusiastic support from me either way. If they stay home I am absolutely happy to make sure they have healthy amounts of no-judgement spending money. Here's where it gets hard: instead of being a stay-at-home parent, my spouse has decided to work two part time jobs. One is work from home and the other is evening/weekend hours. We are both older and I have health problems. Im too tired to burn both ends of the candle. Also: the jobs do not make Spouse happier at home--more tired and grouchy instead.I don't think it's fair that I'm expected to push myself to the brink every day so they can earn money they just intend to--literally--hoard. (Spouse used to be pretty impoverished so they do not feel secure with money)I don't expect much: I asked for just $350/mo more that I can put toward household bills (including their own healthcare bills) -OR- we can build a joint bank account for these bills. They are vehemently angrily against both options. They want to pay their current $300 of bills and that's it. It feels like they are taking advantage of me. Should I just drop it? Should they pay more of the household expenses? Who needs to budge?Info: we are both careful with money and neither of us spend out of our means or make impulsive decisions.Edited for clarity.",AITA for asking my spouse to participate in the household expenses?,ESH -111iw3q,"Hi! I work at a small media outlet at an administrative position. This happened this morning. I have a coworker who fell down a year ago covering a protest and broke her coccyx bone because a cop pushed her. She underwent surgery (for which I raised funds because it’s a part of my job) and she mentioned she was not feeling so well even after the surgery.I share the room with two executives, both of whom were coming in late in the afternoon. The three of us have identical chairs. They’re the same size, quality, color, material, brand, bought together at the same time and used equally. None of them is broken, or better than the other in any way. This coworker who fell down entered the room half hour after she arrived with a really bad chair in her hands and put that right next to mine, demanding that I give her the chair I was sitting in, while two other identical chairs were sitting empty in the room. I asked that she take either one of the other chairs because I didn’t want to leave my work, and switch chairs while she could’ve just taken the chair that was free.Chairs in our office are for everyone. No one owns a chair and everyone can sit in any chair.She insisted that she wanted the chair I was sitting in, because she used to sit in that before I started my job a year ago. The thing is she’s an on the ground reporter, and there are sometimes days and weeks that she either doesn’t come to the office at all or only comes for a couple of quick minutes to transfer new footage. She is always working outdoors.Before her surgery, I’d give her my chair every time she’d ask for it because I knew she was in pain. This time I thought she was way out of the line, so I didn’t give her mine.A couple hours later the editor asked me to talk to her, because she was clearly offended and that I needed to sort things out. I thought a chair was a stupid thing to argue over, so I tried explaining that we can just move past it. She insisted on calling me wrong, and said it was “disrespectful to take someone’s chair because it’s exactly the same as taking someone else’s laptop”. She also brought up her illness and surgery and called me disrespectful multiple times when in fact I was the main person who initiated and raised funds for her total medical bills. She even had some money left over for herself. I just ended the conversation when she was mid-sentence and went back to my desk. My editor and the director said I was rude when I was expressing myself. No one told her she was making a big fuss over a stupid little chair. AITA here for not giving her my chair?TL;DR my colleague wanted to take the one chair I was sitting in while there were two identical chairs free to take. She got offended and played her recent surgery card and called me disrespectful.",AITA for not giving up my good chair at work for a coworker recently out of surgery?,NTA -111q0nk,"I (22f) left an abusive relationship, and moved, myself and my boys (19months and 4 years) into my family home in July. I've been parking in the same place since I got here. My older sister (28f) decided to temporarily move herself and her kids (4f and 6m) here as well so her husband can get himself where she wants him. I work 20 minutes away from home, and drop my kids off to daycare on the way to work every day. We leave the house by 0715 every day and get home around 1600-1700 (4 or 5pm) My sister does not work, her husband makes her living for her. Her only duties outside of the home, is dropping her son to school. It's relatively the same distance as my job, and she leaves a few minutes before I do. I do all the grocery shopping for the house, so I am the one that carries bags of groceries into the houses. Or big boxes from Sam's club. Stuff like that. I asked her if she minded letting me keep the spot since I've been used to parking there for a few months now. And she yelled at me about it at first, saying it didn't make sense. But then later called me and apologized saying her husband was annoying her and she took it out on me, also that she understood that I've been parking there for a while and my son is much younger than her kids. This weekend she parked yet again in the spot. I asked my mom, how I could approach this without upsetting her, or causing waves. Where I was questioned as to why it mattered at all, and then told it doesn't matter. Whoever gets to the spot first gets to the spot first. Where I protested that, since she doesn't work that automatically makes it her spot. In the middle of my sentence (directly after saying ""she doesn't work"" my mom yells ""oh so this is being brought up"" and I responded with, yes. It's relevant because it automatically means she gets the spot, because she's always going to get to it first. So AITA, for bringing up the fact she doesn't have a job?(Before anybody gets up in arms about SAHMs, I've been a SAHM, and I know it's a full time job. But I'm the only one who really does any.real cleaning. She sometimes tidied up but I clean, i cook, and I work, and half the time I'm watching her kids because she's on the computer playing video games. It's not about SAHMs not 'working its the fact she doesn't work outside the home, so she is always going to get to the spot first. Even though I've been parking there for 8 months at this point)",AITA? I called my sister out for not working,ESH -111pzu7,Hello. First time poster. I am engaged. 27f to my fiancée 35f. My friend and I were talking about dress shopping and I am insecure about my body and I’m not excited for it. However. She went on about how she loves trying on pretty dresses and how she wants to try on all the wedding dresses. I feel this is a little bit inappropriate since it is not for her wedding. We are pretty close. We’ve been good friends for 7 years now. She is a good friend. But a lot of the time she will take a situation and make it about her instead of what it should be. We have gotten into arguments about it in the past. When I try to tell her how I feel she talks over me and refuses to listen to what I have to say. I have gotten to the point I don’t try to argue with her anymore. I try not to hang out with her too much even though we are close. Would I be an asshole if I asked her not to try on wedding dresses at the same places with me the day I go dress shopping?,WIBTA if I didn’t let my friend try on dresses with me?,NTA -111vbut,"So recently me and my partner have decided to move, and they had asked me to do some cleaning while they were at work. It was my first day off in a while so I told them I would clean after I read my book for an hour or two. I got really caught up in my book that I lost track of time and when they came home and nothing was really done they lost in on me. So am I the AH?",AITA for losing track of time?,YTA -111xdzz,"I (25) am finally moved out and entirely financially independent for about a year. My mental health has greatly improved since I moved away from my parents, so I tried to go as casually low contact as I could. My little sister (16) still lives at home though, so I don’t want to piss off my parents too bad because there’s a good chance they’ll stop her from seeing me. In the interests of staying on decent terms, I pick up when my mother calls every other week, and I make small talk and answer questions to keep from starting a fight. I don’t tell her much outside of those calls though, so she finds out a lot after the fact. Example, I mentioned a few months ago that my job would be sending me on a (paid!) trip a state over for a training exercise, and I was excited since I don’t get to travel much. The trip went fine, and I didn’t mention it to my mother. She brings it up a few calls later and asks if I ever went on the trip, I tell her yes and that it went fine, and she flips out on me because I didn’t tell her when I was travelling. Because the plane could’ve crashed or I could’ve gotten jumped in an unfamiliar city or any other paranoia-fuelled potential.Or I bought myself a new computer and desk, because I needed it and I had the money, and she got mad I didn’t tell her before I bought it because she wanted to help me pick. The list goes on. I’m well aware she wants to be told everything immediately as it’s happening, but I don’t because I didn’t like her micromanaging my life before I moved out and I don’t want to give her the chance to do it now. My dad says I’m being “rude and disrespectful” for deliberately leaving her out of the loop. I know the desk is stupid and minor, but maybe I should be more forthcoming about the bigger stuff because I know she worries, I just don’t like dealing with her. AITA?",AITA for not telling my mother about events until they’re over?,NTA -111s4t0,"My mom makes a habit of doing things for me without asking first or even mentioning them to me at all. I have told her I don't appreciate this and have asked if she would please speak to me first before doing things for me. She ignores this and keeps doing it. Here are some examples:We attended a funeral recently. She knows that I'm not big on socializing with people I don't know, so she went around and asked people not to speak to me. This made me very uncomfortable because she turned a day that was supposed to be a celebration of another man's life into something about me.Over dinner, I mentioned something that I was going to buy for myself soon. The next day, she goes shopping and comes home with the thing I was going to buy and says that she bought it for me. It was not what I wanted and I told her that she wasted her money and that I'm not going to pay her back for it.A while back, I was signing up for a service and had to fill out a form for it. The form asked for my personal details and preferences about the service. She walks into my room with the form in her hand and tells me that she's filled it out for me and all I have to do is sign it.Is this normal? Am I supposed to just go along with these things and be thankful or is it valid for me to be upset?",AITA for not appreciating unsolicited help,NTA -111rytw,"i (F17) think i might be the asshole because i ghost my friend (will, M16) and stop hanging out with him because his friend (sarah, F17) makes me anxious. every day; after first period, we usually walk together to sit by our usual spot. but recently, sarah has been constantly walking in front of me, almost like she’s specifically doing it to prevent me from talking with him. she holds hands with him and sometimes he tries to invite me in but she leads him away. sometimes they both will ignore whatever i say and i end up just leaving to go to my second period early. i’ve expressed this to will several times; but nothing changes. he never tried to include me or pay more attention to me - or even talk to her. he’s been my only friend for years and i’ve known him for five years. i’m scared of losing him as a friend so much. i love him, but this genuinely spikes my anxiety so much. so i recently decided to just totally avoid him days where he ignores me. i decided to just ghost his texts entirely.i’ve been known to severily overreact and my anxiety might just be blowing things out of proportion. however, i feel really horrible, especially because he usually asks me for help with math stuff. AITA?",AITA for not hanging out with my friend?,NTA -111pov8,"I (18F) went to a concert with my roommates (B18F, D18F, H18F, A18F). B offered to buy my ticket for me while I was in class. she texted me that it was 30$. I said great, I’m in. (I wasn’t that interested in the concert - I was more interested in just doing an activity with my roommates since this was the start of the semester - so having a cheap ticket was why I decided to go in the first place)we go to the concert that night, everything is fine. I leave the 30$ on B’s pillow in the morning as she had already left for class. She texts me later that i’m 55$ short. I ask what she is talking about. She says that she got ticket insurance on the ticket (35$), and there was like 20$ worth of ticket fees, which brought it from 30$ to 85$. I pay her the 15$ for the ticket fee (although I was wondering why she couldn’t have let me know what the actual total cost was, instead of just the ticket). But I said I was not paying her for the ticket insurance for basically the reasons below:1. I did not ask her to buy ticket insurance! 2. why get ticket insurance on a concert happening THAT NIGHT. 3. Why get ticket insurance if your roommate is paying you back for the ticket anyways? Even if I had bailed from the concert I would still have paid her for the ticket. So the ticket insurance seems completely asinine to get. 4. the ticket insurance cost more than the damn ticket. She didn’t respond and now her and our other roommates started completely avoiding me and giving me the stink eye when I’d pass them. I have no idea what version of events B has told them, but clearly they all think I ripped her off. Now I wish I just bit the bullet and paid her back in full, even if I still think she was in the wrong for buying ticket insurance without asking me in the first place. I don’t plan on trying to clear my name or beg for anyone’s forgiveness, since I probably will never see these girls again after freshman year and after how they’ve all been treating me I’m not really interested in maintaining any friendships. But for my own peace of mind about this situation, was I the asshole?",AITA for not fully paying a roommate back for a concert ticket?,NTA -111isim,"So I know the title seems trolly. But I (26f) have been friends with Lauren (25f) for 15 years. We were friends on and off through middle and high school became much closer after graduation. Things started to dip when she discovered K-Pop and now it is alllll she talks about. Lauren has been spending most of her free time with her other 2 friends and I’ll tag along but I have absolutely nothing in common bc all they talk about is K-Pop. Lauren still makes time for me to hang out with her but still she mainly talks about K-Pop , only listens to K-Pop and frankly I’ve found it awkward hanging out bc we really don’t have anything in common anymore. I invited her to come on a “sisters trip” because we have been that close and she goes ahead and invited the 2 K-pop friends. I felt like this was really weird mostly because my sisters didn’t even know these other people. At this point I don’t want to hang out with her much at all. Of course I’ll still be there and open for her but I’m not sure how to go forward in our friendship. Am I being overly dramatic or is it fair to say people change and drift apart and it’s okay to take a step back?? AITA????",AITA For wanting to step back from a 15 year friendship because of K-pop,NTA -111olqo,"Me and my twin sister (both 22F) have always been kinda close though we have completely different interests and personalities that have lead us to some nasty fights growing up . She has major self confidence issues and had very little friends growing up so I decided a few years ago to start bringing her out with me whenever I met up with one of my main friend groups so she could make some friends and open up a bit.At first everything was alright and my friends welcomed her , although she admitted to me early on that she felt a bit left out as most of us had attended either the same school or university while she went to completely different schools . I thought though that she seemed happier and she got out more than ever before. Everything changed for the worse after lockdown , she became more closed off than ever and after everything opened up convincing her to come out with us became an uphill battle and the few times she did come she was constantly on her phone , didn’t participate in conversation and god forbid anyone trying to joke around with her as she perceived everything as a personal attack .All of this culminated to her having a full blown out panic attack this past summer during vacation in front of all of our friends that resulted to us leaving sooner than planned. After that I just stopped trying and nowadays I only ask her to join us if my parents force me to and I offer vague excuses when our friends ask me about her absence.Last week our friend group started talking vacation plans and I dread mentioning anything to my sister in case she wants to come and we have a repeat of last year . I have tried to talk to her about her issues but every time I bring the conversation up she shuts down .I do want her to be happy but I am so so tired of trying and fighting and not getting anywhere with her",AITA for giving up on my sister,NTA -111pgfp,"I(18F) have been raised by my mom’s family for most of my life. My mom died when I was little. My dad was in my life, and somewhat financially responsible for me, but we didn’t become close until the last couple years. I moved in with him last year, I’m now in my senior year of high school.Before my dad and my mom got together, my dad was married to Suzan. Suzan is a nice lady, but could never accept me as my fathers kid. I wasn’t an affair baby, my dad and Suzan got divorced a year before I was born. My mom was a brief fling to my dad. My parents did not pursue a serious relationship, they agreed to coparent and my dad would have 3 weekends a month and pay some child support. Him and Suzan got back together. Suzan also had a child, George(18) from a one night stand, but my dad adopted him when they remarried when we were 4. My mom died when I was 6, and Suzan was hesitant to adopt me because she has MS and could barely take care of George. For a little while my dad got 50/50 custody with my grandparents. I spent more time with grandparents because I had their attention where as at my dad’s, I wasn’t mistreated but I felt like an outsider.When me and George were 15, Suzan broke up with my dad again. Her illness progressed and he couldn’t take care of everything, he got burnt out and had mentally checked out. In their divorce, my dad was ruled financially responsible for George’s college tuition. Now both me and George are accepted to nice universities, we both have partial scholarships, his for sports and mine for academics. We aren’t close but we talk sometimes and I found out that my dad was paying for him. I went to have dinner with my dad like normal and brought it up. My grandparents can give me about $3,000 per year towards school which is generous. Since my dad is funding George, Suzan has purchased George a car AND is funding a nice apartment .4 miles from the school. Suzan’s parents also have a trust fund set up for George. I told my dad that he failed me. That George had 2 parents even though he wasn’t his biologically and I only had 1. That he could have fought that in the divorce, but he didn’t even try, he gave up everything, house he inherited and everything, but his work truck. That now George gets everything while I get scraps, just like my whole life. My dad didn’t say anything, just walked out. I feel so guilty, but at the same time I feel cheated.Edit: I just wanted to add that I did not yell or swear until the end when I was very upset. My dad had nothing to say besides “I’m sorry” and “I wish things were different.” They could be different. My dad owns a very successful electrician business, he has 3 senior electricians, 4 regular electricians, and several apprentices employed. But he keeps a lot of money in the LLC, and in investments. He could retire right now and be a wealthy man the rest of his days. A lot of these assets are not in his name but in the LLC (co-owned by a friend) which also has a nonprofit that hires felons and homeless people on a temp basis. Most of his assets including the house we live in now are not technically his, but the LLCs. When I asked why he couldn’t use any of the funds from that, he said his co-owner would have to say yes, that he doesn’t get access to more than his salary until after 2031 when he’s set to retire. He technically could access his investments but he refuses because he says his business could collapse before then and he needs enough money to pay alimony and for himself.","AITA for telling my dad that if he doesn’t pay for my college, he’s a bad dad",NTA -111pfxg,"I know the obvious answer I’m going to get here is no, but this has been bothering me for a minute as this has given me a bad name with my soccer teammates.So, a few weeks ago when we were in our coach’s room watching film, my brother found that someone had left behind a pair of Airpods Pros that nobody claimed at the time. As he doesn’t have a phone at the moment, he gave them to me to use. So, I decided to take the pair to my school’s front office to see if they could track the owner of the Airpods. A week passed, nothing came up, so I just simply held onto them. Fast forward to last week, a player finally says something about them and I asked if they were his. He claimed them, and started to call me a thief for “not saying anything.” This caused everyone else to jump on me as well, causing me to just have a bad name on the team.",AITA for returning someone’s expensive lost headphones?,NTA -111qg7w,"So for context, I am a student who lives about 4 hours away from home. My family usually tries to make a trip to visit once in the fall and once in the spring, however this past year they have visited more frequently (about 4 times this semester) for reasons such as graduation and sports events. My dad and sister are coming in a few weeks for the weekend to go to a hockey game, just the two of them. I never have been that upset about them not always including me because sports is not as much my thing and usually we still spend time together going out to dinner and spending the weekend together. However, my friend got us both tickets to a concert about an hour drive away which we both enjoy. It would be Saturday evening after the game. I know that much of the reason that my family is coming to the game that weekend is to see me, so I do feel bad that I would be going to a concert with a friend while they are there, but I also feel that this was more an event that my family planned without me and I would like to go to the concert.So would I be TA if I didn't spend that Saturday night with them after the game and went to the concert?",AITA for going to a concert while my family is visiting?,NTA -111qav8,"I've known my best friend now for 25+ years. We have had our ups and downs in our friendship, but we have always kept in touch and try to hang out, even though its been a long time since we've had lunch together. Growing up, my friend (Jorge) was a very quiet, nerdy, shy kid that got bullied. We become friends because I was one of those bullies growing up, but we ended up being best friends because he just saw me trying to fit in. He knew that I wasn't that type of person, and I was trying to be part of the cool kids. I'm thankful for him as I am a better person today that I was when we were 13-14 years old.&#x200B;As the years go by, and we got older (in our 40s), he has since broke out of his shell and became a ladies man, and is not so nerdy or shy. He's had multiple gfs (some at the same time), and is just an out going person. I respect him for being this social butterfly that he never was growing up. I found out during the pandemic that he was dating someone in Mexico. Thought really nothing of it, other than the fact that he would go down to TJ every few weeks to enjoy the ""nightly"" activities. While he said this person he was dating was special, I found it hard to believe since he met her during the beginning phases of the pandemic. But love grows in mysterious places, and I'm happy for him.&#x200B;So now I found out he is going to marry this girl in the next 4 months. While I would normally be happy for him, I am not happy at the fact that:&#x200B;a) I've never met her at allb) Every time I mention I should meet her, all he does is make excuses about not being able to meet up. (No she is not a catfish)c) Our friendship now seems very one-sided, despite him saying ""We are still best friends"".&#x200B;Now another thing to mention is that for the past year and months, I've spoken to him only to vent about my marriage (this is another story entirely). But I try my best not to make it about me, and ask him how everything is going with him and his fiance. Whether or not he is tired of being a sounding wall, I would think that this wouldnt bear any issue with meeting Jorge's fiance.So I receive the invite, and its for me my wife and my child, but its in Mexico. So not only do I have to find a way to get there, I have to find the expenses to go there. This is the same guy who was my BEST MAN at my civil wedding when my wife and I got married. I wasnt even asked to be that.EDIT: This is his second wedding. His first wedding celebration he had was in Mexico City. So this is technically his ""friend/family"" celebration wedding.So AITA for not going to his destination wedding?",AITA: For not wanting to go to my best friend's wedding in Mexico?,NTA -111p7i9,"Just a background, I am autistic and have crippling anxiety (I'm on a lot of medication for it right now) and I get really overwhelmed easily and sometimes I have trouble telling if socially I'm in the wrong for something.So I (25F) recently moved in to my parent's new house after they asked me to come home since rent was getting expensive and I couldn't afford it anymore as I am a student. Throughout my whole life my mom yelled at me for almost anything I did. I've always asked her not to yell and to calmly tell me if I do something that bothers her because it bothers my hypersensitivity and makes me more anxious when she does that, and then we can have a calm discussion about it if needed.This evening I rinsed the tip of my finger with a tiny dab of soap. There was macaroni noodles off to one side of the kitchen sink, so I took the faucet and swiveled it to the opposite side and rubbed my thumb and index finger together really quick. My mom immediately yelled at the top of her lungs and said a couple curse words not to do that because she said it got in the macaroni. That was why I moved the faucet to the other side of the sink so nothing got in it (it's a pretty wide sink). I didn't see anything go in but my mom said she did. After her initial bout of yelling I accidently gave a weird look of shocked by an overreaction which made the yelling continue about not giving a face which I eventually apologized for. As she continued yelling I tried my best to explain that I didn't see anything go in and to please stop yelling because it makes me get more anxious. We are both very stubborn people, but I needed to get out of the situation before I started to shut down from hypersensitivity, so I did my best to calmly apologize as I was lectured more. I really had to get out of the situation since I was on the verge of tears so I went upstairs and started crying and tried to calm down, but I started to think I could've handled that differently.",AITA for getting getting defensive when my mom got upset?,NTA -111uif0,"Lil background:I(17) have started school a week or two ago. I've had problems with it the past(along other things) and this year I've improved ALOT So, I wanted to get myself a reward With my own money, that treat being a pizza from a good place I love. I asked my dad earlier today, he was ok with it as I've done it once before. I asked him again to make extra sure and that's were the trouble started. My brother(23) walked in and asked why I dont just buy everyone(him and my dad) dinner since it's just 50 bucks. I didn't want to at frist as it was my special treat for myself. But I did agree if it was my order(only meat lovers) he didnt want that, I didnt wanna buy another pizza I wouldn't like. he started to argue with me, saying it wasn't fair and I called him rude, he said I've been rude all week(I asked my dad if he could still do my chore as I'd been tired.) and that it was fine. He would start doing the same as me and that I wont last.I might the asshole for not just buying everyone dinner and I could be selfish for it.I feel like an asshole but at the same time, I've been extremely excited for this all week.",AITA for wanting to buy only myself dinner?,NTA -111nwdw,"My husband constantly listens, sings, quotes and watches videos of nakey jakey. In December, he tried to drive off a bridge and just a couple weeks before that, he had started listening to Jakeys newest album. Which one of the songs was literally about driving off a bridge. At first he was listening to the full album or nearly full album every day while he took a shower. But it’s not only that he just listens to these songs daily, but he walks around singing 1-2 lines on repeat constantly and sings them to me dramatically like I should be excited he’s singing these songs to me. He quotes them or watches the videos all the time too. It almost feels like a cult. We have always had our problems, but now it’s getting under my skin. I’ll be in the mood to have sex and he comes in singing that song and I’m instantly turned off. Or I’ll be in a good mood in general and he will walk in listening to one of the songs on his phone. Is this something most people deal with?Edit: he is currently attending therapy and being seen for life threatening tendencies. It was one huge event that he saw as insurmountable but I’ve helped and lead him through that and he is on recovery. My concern is that he won’t be able to fully get past it until he lets these songs full of negative mentality go.",AITA for asking my husband to stop quoting an album,NTA -111m671,"My girlfriend at the time moved to the west coast from east coast for her career, and sometime after that we decided to open our relationship (not our first time, we also did the same one time before, when we lived far far away from each other).We both are from a sub continent country, me especially from a small remote town. I never told any of my guy friends (from the same remote town, but later moved to usa) that I was in an open relationship. My reasons were that then girlfriend wasn't comfortable with it, neither was I. And I was studying very hard to get a better paying job while working 9-6, and thought that explaining all this would be an unnecessary burden. Also, I'm a total introvert and thought this is my private matter. But later it became a problem when I started seeing a second person and was bailing out quite often on my guy friends, and had to make weird excuses for not hanging out with them. One night I was drunk and blurted this out to one of my guy friend. He has never been the same after this incident and frequently brings this matter up whenever I meet him. He accuses me of being a liar, and a cheater to my ex which makes me feel awful. As I said earlier I'm a total introvert and have like 10 friends. This guy was one of my closest friends and our friendship goes back to elementary school. Aita for lying to him and How do I fix this ?",AITA for lying to my friends about my open relationship,NTA -111nvzj,My (30f) BIL (50m) has been staying at my small flat for the last 2 weeks due to being unable to go home (due to their own fault). Today I approached the subject that they need to look at a more long term plan as he does not want to/ cannot go home. I have said I don’t expect this to happen overnight and I’m not asking them to leave straight away.I did discuss this with my partner (32m) before approaching this and he agreed. Partner could not face having the conversation himself.I have tried to support BIL and find available and affordable properties. Offered to go to estate agents to help find somewhere. (They have funds available)I now have other family members saying ITAH.So AITA?,AITA for asking BIL to find somewhere else to stay,NTA -111otc6,"Hi, first post in this sub and I could really use some advice on how to resolve this issue.My grandmother, had planned to take my family and the family of my best friend to a ballet. In total, there would be 9 of us attending. This would be my grandmother, sisters(4 and 5), my mother, and I(17).The other family is my friend, her mother, and sister(11).We only found out about the ballet this weekend. And it's the 16th. Because of this it's hard to get so many seats together.I suggested that we split up, because there was a group of seats larger enough for almost all but two of us. My mother said that my friend, her sister and I could go as a group of 3. I'd prefer that it would just be my friend and I, as I don't want to be responsible for a child. Nor do I want to listen to her talking.But my mother then said that it wouldn't work, that my sisters would have a ""sh*t fit"" over it.I got frustrated and told her that ""I don't want to sit next to the kids because they'd whine the whole time and ruin it for me""She got mad about this, like really mad. She then said that my grandmother will have to book the tickets instead, and that she and my sisters won't go.My grandmother is angry because of this and has said that we won't go now.I apologized to my mother, and offered to pull out of the trip if it means that everyone else can go. But she didn't respond to me.INFO: I've been babysitting my sisters their whole lives, and had to take extensive care of them when my mother was suffering with addiction. I resent my mother and sisters because of the role I had to take on, but I've been receiving counseling at my school for a few weeks now.Is there anyway I can save this family trip? Everyone was looking forward to this trip, and I feel like I ruined it for everyone because I couldn't keep myself in check.",AITA for not wanting to sit with my younger sisters?,NTA -111qyha,I ended my lease and lived with my parents afterwards for a year after a failed relationship. My belongings were all put away in a corner of the garage in boxes. (Side note: My father is an alcoholic and changes personalities/acts like a dick when he’s drunk.) In the boxes I had an old wallet that I knew was tucked away deep in the boxes. The wallet had personal/sex Polaroid pictures of my ex and I. I never got around to properly disposing of them because I knew they were tucked away. One day I was looking through the garage for something and I noticed the wallet on top of some items in one of my boxes. I quickly grabbed it and hid it in my room. I had a terrible feeling that my father may have gone through them since he’d hang out in the garage when he’d drink. I brushed it off and never mentioned it to him. Months passed and finally I was going through my things to pack up and move out again. My sister and I were in the garage as she was helping me sort out my items. My father came into the garage while drunk and said “be careful there’s nasty stuff in there.” I felt humiliated. I felt the blood rush out of my hands. I replied “Oh so you WERE the one that went through my stuff?” He didn’t say anything but he did have a seat in the garage as my sister and I continued to sort items. I disregarded it at that moment. I didn’t want to talk about it. But he continued to make comments about “finding nasty things” in my boxes. I lost it and told him it made me uncomfortable that he saw those photos and I no longer wanted to discuss this and he should stop with his stupid comments. He stopped. My sister and I finished and left my newly packed boxes in the corner. I went into the house and started doing other things. My mother then told me that my father peed in the garage near my belongings. I was FURIOUS. I went into the garage and for sure there was a puddle near by my boxes. One of my boxes was literally being soaked in pee. Angrily I started moving my boxes out of the way and I started to take everything out of the piss box and placing it into a new one. I was PISSED. I couldn’t even think straight. I went back into the house and grabbed a cold water bottle from the fridge. He was sleeping in his room and I opened the bottle and poured it on his face screaming “why the fuck did you pee on my shit!!” He obviously woke up and gasped and got startled and I walked away back into the garage to finish what I was doing. He ended up getting out of bed and went into the garage and we yelled at each other for a bit and he went back to his room. We never talked about it afterwards. Even when he was sober. Afterwards I felt a bit bad. He had no right going through my belongings though. Did I overreact? AITA?,AITA for throwing water at my dads face while he was sleeping?,NTA -111mlr4,"Last night I (23M) and girlfriend (24F) spent the night with mutual friends for the Super Bowl at their apartment. It was a fun night but there was definitely a lot of drinking and the entire party stayed overnight, as we were invited to. My girlfriend works a job that requires her to wake up earlier than me, so she told me she was going to bed around midnight. I told her I would be hanging out with my other two friends for a bit longer and that I would join her in bed later. There was one guestroom which originally had been planned for both my girlfriend and I to sleep together overnight, with the other 3 friends taking various spots on the couch. While I was still socializing with two of my other friends, a friend of my girlfriend asked if she could sleep in the guest room. I told her yes, but not to fall asleep because I was expecting to crash soon. She then joined my girlfriend while my friends and I continued to socialize and have fun. At this point I was charging my phone and did not think to check my phone for updates, as I was enjoying my time with my friends and having a final couple of beers to round out the night. I check my phone about 35-45 minutes later and see a text from my girlfriend about 20 minutes ago telling me to ""come to bed"". I assumed at this point that she was likely already asleep as neither her or her friend came outside to talk to me. As a result I (now mistakenly realize) ignore this text and that I'm fine with sleeping on the couch with my friends, as I don't want to disturb them in the guestroom. We hung out for another 15-20 minutes before crashing...Flash forward to today, after texting her about her day, she tells me that I made her feel like garbage by not sending her a text to telling them I wasn't coming to bed. She was upset because she apparently stayed up an extra hour with her friend assuming I would still be coming and they stayed up longer than they needed.Am I being insensitive about this? To me it's clearly a minor miscommunication on both of our ends and I don't obviously want to upset her, but to me it feels like an overreaction.If she was so concerned about my plans at that point, why wouldn't she or her friend come out and ask me in person instead of sending a vague text?",AITA for not updating my girlfriend my sleeping plans at a friend's party?,YTA -111cwof,"It’s sort of a complicated thing so I’ll apologize in advance for length.I (29 FtM) and my fiancée (29 F) are getting married later this year. We’ve been talking about our guest list on and off and on my side, we’re sort of stuck on two people—my uncle (I’ll call him S) and my grandma (I’ll call her L).L is extremely transphobic. She heard about my engagement because, at the time, she was friends with my fiancée on Facebook, and she’d seen the announcement we posted the day before about our engagement. When I called to share the news, she told me that I was a girl and that I was my dead name, not the name I go by now. She also said she was concerned about “how far [I] want to take this”, and called my mom panicking because I told her I wanted to take it as far as I’m able (as of writing this I’ve been on T for about a year and a half and have had consultation for top surgery).S is also very transphobic. He told my fiancée that he wouldn’t respect anything about my transition/gender identity until I “got the downstairs plumbing fixed” or some other equally transphobic BS.The issue is that they’re my dads mom and brother and all three would be hurt and upset if they weren’t invited to the wedding, regardless of our reasoning. L would play victim and guilt trip me, and while I’m not sure what S’s reaction would be, but I’m gonna guess somewhere along those lines.Fiancée has pointed out it’d be less stressful if they just didn’t come, but I don’t want to stir up anything unnecessary.WIBTA for not inviting them?",WIBTA if I didn’t invite my grandma & uncle to my wedding?,NTA -111hs6e,"i (17F) have a friend (17F) Anya and my other “friend” (18M) Josh are dating for a month.I consider Anya as my sister, we grew up together and we love each other more than everything. (Platonic love.)Last year we met Josh, and he joined our friend group (a friend group of 5 people) and we became friends.Two months ago Josh told me he feels very close to me, as if I’m his brother. (His words).They started dating a month ago and I was very happy for them, but lately Josh has started saying inappropriate things to me. He’d call me fat saying it was a joke, he made sexual jokes about me, I didn’t make a big deal out of it bc I didn’t want Anaya’s heart to break.Last night we were all hanging out and Anaya leaves far from us and me and Josh live close by so he walked me home, suddenly a huge group of big men walked towards us and I got nervous, instead of comforting me he suddenly said. “Watch out or else they’ll r@@@pê you.”I was shocked when he said that, and I snapped at shouted at him to never say these stuff to a woman, and that he should think about what he says before he speaks. I told Anaya what happened as an instinct but she got extremely upset and they had a huge fight, they ended up breaking up because of it and now both of them are devastated.I feel like I shouldn’t have told her and should’ve told someone else or not talk about it at all because maybe it’s not that much of a big deal and I’m just being dramatic. She sent me a recording of him begging her to forgive him and I feel really bad.",AITA for breaking my friend and her bf up?,NTA -111k0k1,"I (25F) recently married my husband (28M) after around 6 years of dating. I met him because he is my best friend's (26F) brother and we got close super fast. During our dating period, a biiiiiig source of contention was my husband's brother (29M). He hates me. I have no idea why, but he started trash-talking me to my husband's family and friends and anyone who would listen when I was 18ish (he's 4 years older than me). I and my husband were on again and off again for years before we finally settled and I believe that is heavily influenced by this fact. But he has also just been downright cruel to me and my biggest bully since I became an adult. I have heaps and heaps of trauma resulting from this treatment. An example of this is just a couple of years ago (around Nov. 2021, right before we got engaged) when I asked for his help in buying my now husband, then boyfriend a present (just general is there anything of this type he's specifically mentioned), and instead of helping me he said a rude remark and blocked me then screenshotted the conversation and sent it to my husband making fun of me, ruining any hope of a surprise. He even lost his job in the military recently and I swallowed my pride and said he could live with us if only he apologized for his previous behavior, and he refused and told me to get over the past. (he obviously did not come to the wedding)&#x200B;I even formed a friendship with his wife and supported her through the tough stuff (namely a miscarriage) and this friendship dissolved because I couldn't handle his constant hatred. My husband doesn't tolerate his talking about me anymore but refuses to cut him off because they had a hard childhood and they both have trauma (so do I). He thinks it is his responsibility to be his therapist of some sort and help him become a better person? Im not sure but recently, my husband brought up the idea of him moving to town from out of state and the thought of it sent me into a very hard, very awful depression spiral. The thought of the person who loves me the most frequently going to hang out with someone who hates me so intrinsically and has treated me so badly really sucks. I brought this up to him and he 1. understands but thinks he can change him and 2. that just an apology for these years of bad treatment would be enough for me to be ok with him. He also doesn't think I should have held on to this for so long, even though the most recent incident is less than 6 months ago. I see where he's coming from as my husband, while 1 of 10, isn't close to many people and doesn't speak to his parents or like 5/6 of his siblings, but I am not sure. I said if he continues to be unwilling to apologize, not only will I not be ok with my husband seeing him, I would likely expect my husband to cut off contact. SO, AITA for not forgiving my BIL even though he has refused to apologize and WIBTA in the case he DOES apologize, that he isn't just back to neutral?",AITA for refusing to forgive the BIL that has not apologized?,NTA -111ny0y,"So I am an international student who studies in a university in Turkey, and I had a group project with three turkish girls who were old friends because the professor put the groups randomly. (I didn't choose to be with them).We had to make a poster about a topic that we choose related to psychology, and during the whole semester, we kept meeting online and working on it, during that time, we had a whatsapp group and we would talk on it from time to time.I am someone who values my grades a lot, so I would go into details about the project and tell them if I don't agree on what they chose, but whenever I tell them that I don't agree with them, they would say that the three pf them agree with each other so i had no choice, and whenever we talk on WhatsApp, only one of them would answer after a while and say that she and the other girls don't agree or whatever, (which means that they probably have their own WhatsApp group).But at the end, since we divided the work and each one of us had to write a part of the poster and then one of the girls had to put those parts on the poster that she will design, later, she send on the WhatsApp group the final poster after she put our parts on it. I didn't like the poster at all because I thought it didn't look professional, it looked like a child made it and also it had a lot of remarks that were wrong and needed to be corrected. I told her on WhatsApp that there are a lot of things wrong with it (in a nice way) and she should fix it. But the girls came to the convo and said that it's great and that I should be grateful for the work the girl did. I got mad and spent two hours making another one, a better one and then sent it to the group and said that it should be considered because we will get a bad grade if we give the first one. But they instead refused and said that I am being very insensitive and that i hurt their friend's feelings because she spent time on making her poster.So please tell me if I am the a**hole or not because just so you know, the next day, the professor made the same remarks I made about the poster that they chose and our poster was literally the worst in class.",AITA for doing the job of the other person in my group project?,NTA -111vyx9,For some background knowledge I’m (19f) and my bf is (20m). So to give some context our anniversary is February 9th which doesn’t leave much room for Valentine’s Day celebrations so last year I gave my bf a bouquet of roses which I asked his mom to set up bc we are in a long distance relationship I also gifted him a hoodie with a anime he liked. I didn’t receive anything that year which wasn’t a huge deal since we got to spend a bit of 1 on 1 time together but I still felt bothered. So this year I had asked if he could take on Valentine’s and I’ll do our anniversary. For our anniversary this year I got him customizable marshmallows because he has a sweet tooth and snacks a bit. I think gift giving is my love language bc I go out of my way to make all my gifts for him personal and this year I decided to let him know what I would like to receive since he didn’t do much last year and he said he got it. I was so excited to see what he got me and convinced him to give it to me tonight and when I opened it it was a bag of some bath stuff cutely put together. Stuff like body scrubs and lotion etc. I was kinda taken aback bc I didn’t mention any of this and he also gifted me something similar on Christmas. He then explained to me that his coworker runs a small business and does little goodies like this and that’s where he got it from. I told him that’s really sweet he supported her business. The bag he also gifted me was Michael Kors which I also felt off about bc I had mentioned to him earlier that week I don’t really like their items bc they’re kinda tacky. After a couple minutes he realized I wasn’t really reacting and asked if anything was wrong and I told him I appreciated the gifts but I feel like their was no thought behind it. Like he kinda just grabbed whatever was offered instead of actually listening to what I had to say. He then said it would be weird to just give me things I asked for bc then it’s not really a gift and I told him I shouldn’t have to tell him for him to know me as a person and be able to express it with an item. He then said I could have just pretended to like the gift and go back home.(I was visiting him bc he lives in a different states) and I continued to say that I appreciated what he did but it just didn’t feel meaningful and I felt like he doesn’t listen to me. He then said he feels like he always tries his best but nothing is ever good enough for me. So am I the asshole?,AITA for not thanking my bf for my Valentine day gift?,YTA -111gtfr,"I 24(f) was close friends with a girl since we were 16. However we had a fall out once and didn’t talk for 4 years because her boyfriend was a toxic dick and I couldn’t stand being around him. She cut ties with me by saying she loves him and choses to be with him. We were cordial with each other and often wished each other on birthdays and on achieving certain milestones. When she broke up with her boyfriend we became best friends again. But soon after she got another boyfriend and turns out his friend group is a bunch of unambitious losers who hate me. This group has been toxic to my friend in the past but she still hangs out with them because they are now her new boyfriends friends and she wanted their validation. Due to my work I live in a different city and I have significantly reduced my frequency of visiting my home town. One day I was at my parents place, having a shitty day when I asked her to meet me. We had a great day and even better evening, until she got a call from her boyfriend to hang out with him and the gang. I was of course not invited. I was having a pretty crappy day so I asked her if she could stay with me just this once and she was visibly not interested in that. So i became the bigger person and dropped her to the cafe they were all hanging out at. Next day I told her how I feel in a very calm tone but she got pissed and she said she’s done with me hating on her boyfriends. Despite me telling her multiple times that it wasnt an issue with her boyfriend or her friends, but about how she consistently chooses others people over me, she still refused to understand and we cut ties again. The other day I noticed she is still a part of my google family and uses youtube premium that i pay for. And now I want to give that spot to my actual friends. But idk how to remove her without seeming petty. If I do remove her am I the asshole?",AITA for removing my ex friend from my google family?,NTA -111h50e,"I (26M) have a friend ""Erika"" (28F) who's getting married the beginning of this summer. During my undergrad, Erika and my best friend and roommate at the time, ""Mark"" (29M), started dating. Mark was an exchange student I met in Ireland during my semester abroad and was only at our university for one semester. In spite of this, the two of them promised to each other that they would maintain an LTR, with the long-term goal of reuniting once both of them completed their studies (per both of them at the time).&#x200B;The pandemic, however, all but scrapped those plans. Both Mark and Erika, stuck respectively in Ireland and the US, started internships (and eventually full-time careers) in their home countries. Slowly but surely, Mark moved back to where he and Erika met and continued to work for his company in January of 2023.&#x200B;Unbeknownst to him, Erika started a relationship with someone local during the pandemic and got engaged to him shortly before Halloween. I have been invited to the wedding and received a Save the Date shortly before Christmas. Mark invited her out for dinner at an upscale restaurant a few days after he arrived. His message caught her by surprise. She simply had thought that things fizzled out, for a variety of reasons, while Mark was still intent on continuing where they left off. She showed up to dinner anyways, but with her fiancé.&#x200B;That night, Mark called me upset, and then asked if I knew about Erika's engagement. I told him that I did, and that it wasn't my place to let him know. I attempted to explain my perspective that receiving that news from me would have come across as disrespectful and even dramatic/messy. Ultimately, I doubled down on my perspective that Erika should have been the one to tell him. In his anger, he called me an AH for not telling him, after which I told him that I wanted to end this conversation if he was going to call me names.&#x200B;After hearing about this from Mark, I talked to Erika about things ended, and learned that things never officially ended. I then revealed that I found out about the ill-fated dinner plans from Mark. Erika then quipped about Mark's naïveté, and then insinuated that she hoped I would've disclosed the news, stating I was an AH for not doing so.&#x200B;Mark and I eventually started to talk more maturely about his unexpected surprise. I acknowledged he should have been informed before attempting to rekindle things, but also explained that that frustration needs to be directed towards Erika. Mark then asked if I still planned on going to the wedding, to which I replied that so far, I still am, but that might change, given my conversation with Erika.&#x200B;This whole situation has me critically reexamining my friendships with both Mark and Erika. AITA?",AITA for not telling my best friend his ex is getting married?,NTA -111q13b,"I (18M) have been going to a private high school for the past 4 years after failing the first year in a pretty hard public school I was never cut for. I never liked studying, although I am a really curious person that likes learning, so I always had pretty bad grades, since elementary school, and I'm planning to find a job right after I finish high school to move out and not be a burden to my parents.They recently came to know that I have been skipping classes to avoid tests and that I have pretty bad grades overall, even though I have the same amount of hours of absence and grades as my classmates, which is not a 'failing year' situation, but rather common here in Italy.They are threatening to kick me out of the house for it and I have no one to really go to if that actually happens. I haven't even bought this year's books since I don't really understand all the subjects and arguments they teach, and I don't want to waste they're hard earn money on something I don't want to feel obligated to do. I know I could put some more effort in it but I feel like it would be a waste anyway since I definitely won't go to university and a better grade out of high school isn't going to make me more money. Going to a private school was my father's choice, not mine. I wanted to go to a public school since I knew I never really gave it any importance, and I am very much willing to go back to a public school with no problems, even if it seems ungrateful. I'm dealing with my own stuff right now, depression and bad social anxiety, which I didn't tell them about, again, to not be a burden, and this situation is just burying me deeper into it.I feel like they are exaggerating and escalating the whole situation way too much by treating me like a criminal, but I may be blind to the reasoning behind it, still being a dumb teenager.tl;dr: I have been skipping classes and getting bad grades, not unlike all of my classmates, and my parents want to kick me out of the house for it So AITA for thinking my parents are going nuts over nothing?",AITA for underestimating my parents' effort to make me excel at school?,YTA -111j7tp,"A few weeks ago back when it snowed heavy me and my roommate were gonna go out to the grocery store so they decided to shovel the snow and I started wiping off my car(with a windshield wiper) we only have one shovel so after I was done getting the snow off my car I got the back end of the neighbor's car as our cars are right next to each other, like in the same driveway close. I stopped getting the snow off after my roommate finished shoveling and they thought I was ""kind of an asshole"" for not getting all the snow off the neighbors car because ""it's like you didn't care enough to get it all off"". I thought it was silly to think that way and that someone getting any amount of snow off my car would be helpful even if they didn't do all of it. We didn't argue or anything after and we went on with our day but I think they little murdered me because I keep thinking about it. AITA for not getting all the snow off my neighbor's car or do we just have a difference on opinion?",AITA For not wiping all the snow off my neighbors car?,NTA -111tbxs,"I’m a senior in highschool and I graduate in may (it’s currently February) My parents divorced when I was in middleschool and since then my parents never seen eye to eye, including my mother moving me and my siblings states away from my father. My grandmother (my dads mother) don’t have a good relationship, and my father described their relationship like mine and my mothers, aka not great. My grandmother cut off contact with my father when I was in the third grade and she had all opportunities to keep a relationship with my siblings and I, even tho my dad didn’t talk to her. In fact my dad wanted her to stay in our lives. Well after three Skype calls, she disappeared for nine years. And never spoke to me or my siblings again. Now within the past few months my grandma has been texting my mother, which made her start stalking my socials and sending us half assed Christmas presents. But never once got a text. My mother thought it be an amazing idea to invite her to my highschool graduation with our even asking me first, on top of that letting her stay in our house when she’s practically a stranger to everyone in this house. It caused this whole argument between me and my mother including her shoving down my emotions about this even though this whole situation will now cause drama between everyone in my family during my graduation. So am I the asshole?",AITA for being upset about my grandmother being invited to my graduation?,NTA -111ge4m," A few months back I reconnected with a friend who I hadn't spoken with since before I separated from my ex-wife. She was my ex's MOH at the wedding. We started talking and she had been telling me about her living situation which was absolutely horrendous. A spinal injury had put me off work for 3 and a half months and I was looking for a roommate to help with the rent so that I could get caught up on my bills. (There was a long wait before I received any financial assistance and I spent most of the time I was off work living on credit)I invited her to come stay with me in my spare room and get away from the situation she was in. I even let her move herself and her 3 cats in a month before she could start paying rent (she had to give notice at the old place) & bought new litter boxes for her cats (she only had one box for 3 cats).Because I know that her financial situation is less stable than mine, I haven't asked her to pay for hydro, internet or even laundry. I've bought food and litter for her cats when she can't afford it and even let her help herself to my food when needed. Needless to say I've been doing everything I can to be a supportive friend and roommate.I decided to put up with it because she did seem to have terrible luck in life and her rent money spent the same as anyone else's. Besides, all she really does all day is smoke pot in her room and listen to music. This is where the fun begins.The walls of my apartment are pretty thin, and she likes to play her music loud enough to drown out any noise coming from outside her room. It normally doesn't bother me as I'm out of the house most of the day. After 3 months of her playing the same 10 depressing songs on loop, I started getting sick of it. So I asked her politely to switch to her headphones at night so that I can get to sleep. She pitched a fit saying it was ""f\*\*\*ing stupid,"" because I never had a problem with it before. I explained that I had been over-inundated by her playlist and. She complied.So she puts her headphones on and starts singing! I couldn't f\*\*\*ing believe she thought it would be appropriate sing at the top of her voice while I'm trying to get to sleep.The next day I told her that I was instituting a ban on singing after 8pm as I have to wake up at 3am to get ready for work. You better believe she lost her f\*\*\*ing mind! Now she says that I'm ""violating her rights"" as a tenant and it's her home too and she can sing along to the music if she wants to. I reminded her that she is not on the lease, has no rights as a tenant so far as building management is concerned and that if she doesn't start showing me a little consideration I will be changing the locks and kicking her out.Am I the asshole?",AITA For telling my roommate she can't sing at night?,NTA -111t6z5,"I'll start by adding more specifics. I do voice call with my friends very often, maximum 2-3 hours spread across a week, and I do prefer to do it when he is not in the room. If he is, obviously as long as he isn't sleeping or studying, I will keep my voice down. Today, however, he asked me to simply not use discord if he is in the room, period. We have lived together for some time now, and he has never indicated it to be a problem until now. Is he being reasonable, and AITA? I want nothing more than to be as considerate a roommate as I can be.Edit: I wanted to be gracious and avoid any accusations of poisoning the well or bias, but I clearly went slightly too far. The way in which my roommate communicated this (and several other things) was fairly passive aggressive, if it matters.Edit: based on the overall consensus, I will begrudingly refrain from doing discord calls while my roommate is present, and begin immediately all possible and necessary steps to vacate our shared room. While I respect and accept the popular opinion and my roommates own feelings on the matter and will do what is necessary to keep the peace, I cannot happily or comfortably live here.",AITA for chatting with friends on a voice call in a shared room?,NAH -111pmjs,"I’m sitting down eating dinner and my mom was telling me how she had an appointment to get her stitches removed and how she’ll be off on Monday for the procedure but also Friday. She didn’t say what for but she knew I knew and I instantly got bummed out. For clarity, I love my parents and us as a family have been working on bettering ourselves so we can have healthy relationships and clean communication. I’ve never enjoyed celebrating my birthday. I’m not one for parties and I don’t like the fake attention from people I haven’t heard from in years. With this being my 21st, I’m anticipating it to be worse that other years. I like being alone, I can play Minecraft, stardew, or Pokémon for hours and not get bored. But if I wanted anything more on my birthday was to have the house to myself and do what I want. I don’t like drinking and I just want to be able to sleep without having a loud house. I want to tell her how I feel but know it’ll come with back lash and it becoming a thing. So do I have the right to be annoyed?",AITA for being annoyed at my mom for taking off work for my bday?,NTA -111phaf,"AITA for being a bad partner. So basically me and, my project partner, tigergirl (fake name) have the same history teacher, and that teacher assigned us a project at the beginning of the year; it was due January 19th(we get back January 5th). We were working on the project well until she tell me (on January 7th) she created an entirely different project and wanted to add me to it. I was confused, I don't like laying back and letting my partner do all the work, but I didn't wanna argue with her. I just said, ""Okay."" we are doing our project on the Chinese cultural revolution, tigergirl is Chinese(important). She asks me not to add much to her slides but I really wanted to contribute so I ask her what slides I should do she tells me, ""Just whatever."" so I message her later to get her clearance on Japans Invasion of Manchuria which somewhat has to do with the uprise of communism in China, she says no. That wasn't the first time I suggested doing something, I asked her if I could do the after of the cultural revolution but she says that she'll just do it. Anyways I end up only adding one slide and she tells me to do a different slide the day before it was due, I don't end up doing it(I had soccer, bad on my part ik). I was sick for some days so I couldn't do much. So all in all I only ended up doing the thesis and one slide I also made my own process paper. This was a while ago I know but when reading her process paper (today) I saw, ""I designed the whole entire project in exception to one slide my partner did."", which is true but the problem is she didn't let me do any other slides. She created a new project on December 3rd and shared it with me around January 7th-9th, she shot down all my ideas and didn't want me to do something without asking her. The teacher ended up liking my slide a lot though. After we won the school competition I thanked her for all the work she did and said ""Good Job."" I feel dumb now. After contacting her about her process paper she tells me her friend edited it after we won the competition, untrue(I think she lied), I remember the day after we won she tells me the changes she made, made it better. I have other proof but can't fit it here. She ended up telling me she has pneumonia and her best friend's mom died so she has better things to worry about, which is true. AITA? (hopefully it makes sense a lot to fit into here)",AITA for not helping on a group project,NAH -111qx13,"My fiancé and I live with his parents. We are getting married in May and are currently saving up for a house but giving the current economic climate are waiting to buy so we don’t end up paying 200k+ more than the house is worth. We pay his “parents” $1,000 a month for a room in the basement plus have to clean their bathroom and their fish tank once a week (a issue for another time). Tonight while I was doing the fish tank and he was doing the bathroom his mother complained that he hasn’t washed the soap dish. I was confused at first because the hand soap we have in there is a pump so it doesn’t have a dish. She said it was her soap dish in the shower that she wanted clean. Yeah, her personal soap dish that only she uses. I told her that was gross and that we aren’t going to do that because that’s something she uses on her body, I don’t have anyone els clean my exfoliating gloves or loofa because it’s something that is mine and I use personally on my body there for it’s my responsibility. She then proceeded to talk under her breath about how she’s so sick of me and then she stomped into her room to complain to her husband. We already pay them rent (with little to no respect for our space,privacy or belongings), we clean the bathroom that we all use on our own and we clean THEIR fish tank. So, AITA for drawing the line at her soap dish?",AITA for telling my future MIL I’m not going to wash her shower soap dish and neither is her son,NTA -111p949,"I’m a US citizen living in Canada, which is where I went to college. I chose a canadian school when I was 17 largely because of the lower cost of tuition. I got a scholarship, and after the scholarships and bursaries that I worked hard to apply for, I split the cost of remaining tuition with my divorced parents (each paying 1/3) and took out student loans to cover my portion.I left college with a modest amount of student loans that I’m still paying off. When I first started making student loan payments, I didn’t have a us-based bank account, so I had to make payments via wire transfer, which was both annoying and expensive. After complaining to my mother about this, she offered to make payments for me. I agreed and asked her if she wanted me to send her money every month instead, which she declined and said not to worry about it. I was thankful, especially since I was working an entry-level job at the time, and money was pretty tight.This went on for about a year, and my mother made payments that were double what I was required to pay each month, which I thought was very kind and generous. After a year, I figured out how to get a US-domiciled bank account and told my mother I could take back my student loan payments, and it’s been that way for the past 5 years.After the 10k loan forgiveness was announced, my mother called me and asked if I was still paying off my loans. I told her yes, but if this forgiveness goes through, I’ll be debt-free (yay!) her response was to say “great! Then you can pay me back for the money I put on your loans!” I wasn’t aware that this was a loan… and if it was I really would have preferred to pay her monthly, and asked her not to make more than my required payments (I had an income-driven payment plan, so they were quite low). For context, my mother is not in need of money. She’s married to a very wealthy man. She doesn’t work, and spends her time renovating their house on a “unlimited budget” (her words). They each drive new luxury cars and take multiple international vacations a year. My husband and I had twins last year. He’s a SAHD, and I’m the sole breadwinner. My mother wants me to pay her back for 2 reasons that she’s given me: the first is that she thinks I’m bad with money because I’m not the SAHP (my husband took a leave from a much better paying job) and she claims that paying her back would prove that I’m financially capable. The second is that my younger sister “cleaned her out” (again, her words) after she paid for my sister to take this 10k class on growing mushrooms. Personally, I think the whole situation is ridiculous. I had planned on setting some money aside to pay her back unprompted once my husband is back to work, and we’re a little more secure financially, but I think demanding money now is just cruel, and honestly not within our means right now. AITA for refusing to pay her back?",AITA for not paying my mother back?,NTA -111sm8i,"A little context. My brother got engaged in 2021. He didn't bother to tell me-I found out on Facebook when my mother posted. I approached him telling him I was hurt by his actions. He replied telling me I deserved it because we weren't close. Then proceeded a yearlong argument. I should say that we had a rocky relationship in childhood, but this is because I grew up an undiagnosed neurodivergent kid with a highly critical mother who told the family what a problem I was. I think this has coloured my relationship with my brother.He made the argument about how I mistreated my mother 3 years ago when I posted about her lack of care to me. Unrelated. He made the argument about meltdowns I had as a child, which impacted him, but again, unrelated. He continued to refuse to acknowledge that his current/recent actions had been harmful to me.Before this, I had mainly good memories interacting with him, but he claimed he did not share my good feeling -- this was news to me as we are both in our 30s now and I thought we had a decent adult relationship, although I live 3000 miles away. He attended my wedding a decade ago and gave a reading at it.I felt like my feelings didn’t matter to him, and I told him I would not attend his wedding if he did not acknowledge the harm he’d caused me with the post and the subsequent response. He said he would not say sorry if he did not feel sorry. He also decided to tell me that had I not ""behaved badly"" (expressing my feelings to wider family members by email) I would have been a bridesmaid. I don't know if this is true. He told me he wanted me at his wedding, and he would pay for my flights to go but that I needed to ensure I behaved appropriately/that he was worried about how I might act at his wedding. I suggested that if he wanted to ensure I was comfortable, a sensory room might be useful -- he said that was impossible and gave it no further thought. He suggested my mother would pay for the hotel (her money always comes with strings.)His wedding was New Year's Eve. I live in another country. Flights are ridiculously expensive, but he was planning to pay. I had some savings; however, I have 4 pets, and I was unable to find anyone to care for them over that week. I told him I couldn't afford to put them in kennels as the prices were more than I had saved. He was offended that I had not saved any money for his wedding. I said I cared more about an apology than his offer.During this, I disconnected myself from most of my family. It has been about six weeks since his wedding. My cousin has reached out to ask if I might save the date for her wedding as she would like me there and that she understands if I cannot afford to go but she would love it if I can. My cousin has respected my boundaries and I don’t feel she has invited me out of some obligation, but rather because she genuinely wants me there.",AITA for considering attending my cousin's wedding when I didn't go to my brother's?,NTA -111qo3w,"Hi, this is my first post. I'll try to summarise the best i canSince my(20M) mother passed away in 2020 due to covid, our family of 8 got down to 3,(2 brothers and a sister left)leaving me with my grandmother (F82), and my sister (F27) in a 2 floors house. We also have 4 dogs which got really sad without my mother. I was finishing school when this happenned, and my sister worked part time and was regularly home with her friends downstairs when i lived with her. I always had a mess in my room but i never was in the rest of the house, so i didn't left any mess around.My sister would never clean all the stuff she used to drink and eat with her friends, and would rant on me for not cleaning the house, this got worse when the dogs that lived upstairs with my mother started living downstairs because my grandmother didn't want them. (my sister and a brother who left home adopted them)I decided to take care of the dogs. Until 2021 when i got a job and moved upstairs so my grandmother wouldn't be alone. I still bought food for the dogs and a couple bills because i didn't make enough to do much more. This didn't sit well with my sister, who was never home and everything was a mess downstairs.Near the end of 2022 we sat with my sister and gave her a choice. Either we gift the doga, or she would take care of them, since she was the only one who wants them. This enraged my sister who yelled at us for being such shitty people. So i said i'd take care of the bills and food in the house, but she would really take care of them. She chose to take care of them. But this didn't last.Since january, i've been feeding them again since she was never home, and when i would go out and tell her to not forget to feed them since i wasn't home, she would yell at me for being irresponsible, and a shitty person. She didn't fed them, my grandmother was waiting for me to feed them.This angered me, since i didn't anything about it and kept quiet. This stacked up with years of our hostile relationship and i got depressed, and very stressed about everything in life. I started eating and smoking a lot, getting cranky. This enraged her, but that didn't stop her from asking for favours. Yesterday, she was taking care of my other sister's(F30) house when she was away. My sister asked me to replace her because she missed home. So i did. But she actually went out. I came back on Sunday afternoon very tired so i dropped dead on the couch downstairs. She woke me up ranting about me not cleaning anything there (which was her own mess), this almost makes me blow and i still feel angry with her.AITA for wanting to tell her to move out or get the dogs another place to live since she doesn't do anything about them?",AITA for wanting my sister out of the house?,ESH -111qnpf,"AITA for telling her parents everything she did? Hello, I (M) am currently not attending my classes, as I am traveling here in my hometown, far from where I live. Recently I was chatting with my friends in our school group, until a person who study with me (F) joined the conversation, and for some reason she was calling us ""Boy"". Here where I live (Brazil) we use boy as a slang term for ""young ones"" in the attractive sense. There were people who didn't really like the use of slang to refer to them, so a discussion started, because apparently no one is mature enough for a civilized conversation. Until there was a time when the girl who was calling us Boy started to Flood on our chat, so I disabled the function a little for her to send a message, and I told her to calm down. About 2 minutes later I activated it again, and she sent an audio offending us a lot (really), so I removed her from the group. After I took her out of the group, she started sending me messages in my private saying that I was poor, stupid, naughty, among other words that I will not quote for censorship reasons. I had an anxiety attack, so I thought her parents don't know what she does, they think she's the most important thing there is, and they spoil her a lot. So I went looking for some way to get in touch with her parents, and I did! However, she is now pretending that she lost her cell phone (yes, she is very childish) and I really don't know what will happen. And then, AITA for telling her parents everything she did? (Sorry for my bad English, I'm brazilian btw)",AITA for telling her parents everything she didM,ESH -111jo1x,"Throwaway for reasons.I, 33F, and my husband, 34M, have been married for 3.5 years, but have been dating for over 15 years. We have a 3 year old son .A lot has happened the past few months. But to keep this story short, my husband's brother passed away unexpectedly at the start of last December.I didn't know him too well, as he was someone who rather sat on his own, but naturally my husband and his parents were devastated.For weeks to come, my husband would go to his parents nearly every night as soon as our child went to bed, and got home as late as possible. I understand he wants to support his parents during the difficult time and left any quality time for us as a couple for a later date. He and his parents needed this.Then the unimaginable happened and my father in law passed away a few weeks ago. I loved this man a lot and was equally as devastated as my husband was. His mother and father weren't at the best of term and his mom is doing decently fine.However, my husband now goes to his mother every single night. I understood and accepted this again. He needs to mourn on his own way and being at his parents home helps him.However, I am mourning now too. He says he feels sorry for his mom being home alone (which is sad), but he leaves me home alone every night too. We haven't had quality time since december. I am lonely, sad, depressed, and also happen to be sick for the past few days.I told him today that I need him to be here for me sometimes too. I get he needs to be at his mom, and I get it helps him, but for me, I need him to be there for me too. I am not someone to deal with grief on my own and I feel mildly neglected.We had a fight over it, and now I feel bad for even saying I need time and attention from him too. He helps with our little one, but as soon as he is in bed I am on my own and that hurts.Am I the AH for asking my husband to stay home occasionally for me so I am not home alone every evening? So I don't have to grief on my own?",AITA for telling my husband to stay in?,NAH -111qgby,"So, I’m currently being ignored by my best friend of 20 years + and I can’t really understand why. At the beginning of Feb two of my best friend’s bdays fell on the same weekend, they were both turning 30. One of them had a surprise party planned which I was invited to and meant I’d be there with her all weekend and the other didn’t want to celebrate or do anything for hers. I asked my best friend who didn’t have plans if she was sure she didn’t want to do anything a number of times and she confirmed. I texted her on the morning of her bday and sent her a card in the post whilst I was away for the weekend with my other friend. She replied and said she’d had a really lovely morning and thanked me for the card which made her laugh etc. All seemed fine. I even suggested in my birthday wishes text that we do something for her 30th and mine together (as they both are in February) as we’ve been friends for so long. When I got back from my weekend away, I texted my friend to ask what she did for her bday on the night. She told me she went out with her brothers drinking but her tone seemed off? On the Monday I messaged her to ask if everything was okay and said that I felt her tone was a bit cold. She replied “I don’t have the energy for a deep chat if I’m honest. I’m a bit sad but just need a lil time.” That’s it - I got no context. After this I replied okay, no worries. I know that she shuts herself off when she is feeling down and whilst I want to resolve any sort of conflict asap she has an opposite style. So, I give her the space she needed and a week has passed. During this week, I hear from a mutual friend that my best friend is coming to our city to celebrate our mutual friend’s bday on the 17th. And that my best friend is upset because I chose to celebrate my other best friend’s bday last weekend. I start to question it all with the mutual friend and ask “well is she going to talk to me etc?”, the other friend just gives me an answer like yeah in a few days. Another day passes and I needed to communicate something as the silence was really starting to trigger my abandonment issues and so on. I texted her and to sum it up I said I really valued the friendship and wanted her to know she could talk to me about anything. That the silent treatment was hurting me and not healthy for our friendship. In fact, I’m my opinion it was putting more distance between us. That I understood she needed space and time but it’s been over a week and if she has no intention of resolving whatever is wrong to tell me. I said it’s put me in a difficult position when I don’t have the opportunity to apologise if she feels upset by my behaviour. She’s replied today saying she’d text me after work but is still ignoring me.Edit: I should add it’s my 30th bday on the 18th, so I assume the said friend is leaving the city and only coming here for the mutual friend’s bday…",AITA for spending a weekend with one best friend for her bday and not another who also had a bday that weekend?,NTA -111qf78,"For clarification my roommates are my (F20) sister (F23) and her best friend (F21). I honestly don’t have a problem with party’s I actually like going to some but when I have to work at 4 am and they want to have a party from 10pm to god knows how long I’m gonna have a problem with it! This all started when The best friend told me while we were working that we were gonna have a house party, which I wasn’t upset about. But I did tell her I had really bad experiences with my old roommates and throwing party’s till 3 am when I had to wake up at 4 am (my sister knew about this and was pissed when this happened to me) and the best friend was understanding about it! We made a compromise that I will deal with the house party but if they want to have a party when they know I work then they will have to party in the garage or I will try to get the day off (it has couches and we are getting a heater for when it gets cold). So when I told my sister I thought she was going to agree with it But I was completely wrong. she started fighting with me about how this was her house and if she wanted to throw a party she can! Which again I don’t have a problem with it’s the fact about throwing a party when I have to work. I tired to compromise more even going so far to say that If my time off request gets denied then they can still have the party in the house and I’ll deal with it, but that still wasn’t good enough for her! She even called me selfish for not wanting to deal with screaming adults (they get hella loud when they party) when I have work! After that the best friend started to agree with her saying it’s there house to and calling me selfish too. i know it’s there house to but it’s also my house and it doesn’t feel fair that I have to deal with work while having no hours of sleep! I texted my mom to see if she would understand but she said I was in the wrong for this so I honestly need to know if I’m the ahole in this situation bc I have no idea what to do. Just to clarify if I wear headphones/ear plugs it won’t do anything because the walls are super thin to the point I can hear my sister talking in her room from two rooms down and not to mention my room is right next to the living room and when I say they are loud af I mean they will literally start screaming for the smallest of things.",AITA For not wanting my roommates to have party’s when I have to work?,NTA -111fpap,"Let me explain.My fiancé (M mid 20s) and I (F mid 20s) are planning a destination wedding. For privacy I won’t say where, but it’s a popular vacation destination and our guests would have no problem entertaining themselves in the area. We are inviting a lot of family and friends and about 10-15 have already committed to come. We aren’t going to guilt trip anyone who isn’t coming for any reason, it’s basically a “come on vacation with us, and btw we’re getting married” situation.The problem is, one of us has great insurance and one has none. The one with no insurance needed a medical procedure. We got legally married so that we can share health insurance and we agreed to not tell anybody.Only three people know due to unavoidable circumstances (i.e. they saw legal documents that said “Married”)My maid of honor doesn’t know. My friend who is planning me a bridal shower at their expense doesn’t know. Our guests don’t know.I feel like an asshole because I’m inviting people to celebrate an event that isn’t really happening when we say it is, and it will be an expensive trip for them. On the other hand, we really are going to start living our married life after the wedding, i.e. I’ll change my name and we can actually announce it to the world instead of keeping it held in.What does reddit think, WITBA for keeping this secret?",WIBTA for having a fake destination wedding?,NTA -111ookn,We have this ongoing discussion that I don’t want to talk with my sister about her period. First of all I don’t think that a period is per se a „disgusting“ thing. I just don’t like to talk about it with NO ONE. Not friends or anything. Maybe just my gf because I can see her naked and she is no Familie so it feels more…. Normal ? Or less weird. The problem is that I think that she think that I find her disgusting because of this. I have stated it many times that I don’t think so.The same goes when she calls boys hot. I don’t want to fucking hear it. You are 14 go play in the dirt or something. Imo ( which I have stated many times ) she is too young for stuff like that. Aita?,AITA for not wanting to talk about the period of my sister with her ?,YTA -111obsb,"I’m currently attending a university as a freshman and taking a Calculus course. It’s a hard course but it’s easier if you study much like most classes. I am in this class with 2 friends who constantly show up late to class or not at all and then ask me for the notes. I usually just give it to them as it’s not that big of a deal. But today I was in class taking notes and they come in 20 minutes late. Sit down, and then leave 10 minutes later and when I texted them where they went they said “oh there’s free donuts and we wanted some”. They then proceeded to ask me for the notes and I said that I lm not going to give them notes anymore because they don’t care about the class. And even if I give them notes they’re not even gonna look at them, as well as they won’t understand the notes I took because they weren’t in the class when I took them. They called me an asshole and just said they’ll get it from someone else. An hour later they come up to me again asking for the notes and saying “come on we have a quiz on first I really don’t wanna fail can I just get the notes” and I said no and to find someone else to give it to them. AITA?",AITA for not giving notes to a classmate,NTA -111irvu,"(All fake names)me (F) and my friend Luna (F) have been friends for a few years. in 2021 she got a boyfriend Logan (m) At first, I was happy for her. I actually knew the guy and he was a friend of mine and so I knew he was nice. I was happy she was dating someone good; she previously had been in relationships with weird guys I didn't know much about and something bad always happened. They have known each other for a couple years and apparently, they have always had crushes on eachother. When they first got together everything was fine, she would tell me about everything, and she was so excited and happy. but then like 2 months into the relationship he slowly started to get busier. they started hanging out less and texting less and this made Luna really upset. She would come to me crying scared that he didn't love her anymore and that they were going to breakup. One time they hadn't seen each other in a couple weeks and Luna was trying to make some plans with logan. he was extremely hesitant and insisted that he was super busy and just didn't have time, or if he wasn't busy, he would just be too tired to hangout. later that week logan posted a snapchat story of him at the movies with two of his friends. Luna is obviously upset by this and is again crying and having a freakout. Another time he was preforming with his choir at a town fair, after the show Luna wanted to meet up and hangout but he told her that him and his family was going to do something right after the show, so he only had time to preform and then leave. me Luna and some friends were walking around the fair when we spotted Logan. we flag him over to come say hi and again Hes very hesitant. he walks over to us with a girl. we ask who she is, and he says its someone from the choir. he says hi, fists bump Luna, and then walks away with the girl. Again, Luna has a full breakdown because of this as I'm driving her home, screaming and crying in the back of my car. all of this is only after about 4 months of dating, Luna will come to me crying about him or in another argument with him. I start to say that Logan shouldn't be treating her like this. I point out how Shes always crying and that it shouldn't be this difficult to make someone happy. she calls another friend who is close with logan and asks his opinion and he just says, ""oh Hes like this with everyone don't worry."" then later down the line she gets super pissed off with me because I'm ""talking shit about her relationship"" she says its none of my business and I'm being mean and a bad friend. AITA for being involved? should I have just let it go?",AITA for telling my friend her boyfriend sucks.,NTA -111rpmk,"I (20F) live with three roommates, A, B, and C. Today by accident I spilled a smoothie all over my computer. I called A to see if she could come help me and she helped me clean it up (the smoothie) and spent time researching ways to fix my computer and offering to help. At first the damage didn’t seem bad, but then my computer just wouldn’t turn on. I also asked B if she had any cleaning supplies I could use who looked but couldn’t find anything. Then B went in the shower. After no success at cleaning my laptop, I decided I should just go to the apple store and A offered to drive me.As I’m at the apple store, B sent in our roommate group pictures of clean paintbrushes, paper towels, and clean dental floss we left out on both the sofa chair and the table. She said she had just cleaned yesterday (she often offers to clean but doesn’t accept when people offer to help her) and that this was unacceptable and not ok and gross. I said that I was in a hurry to get my computer fixed and I felt I needed to go ASAP to see if they could fix it before it got worse. C also defended her, and B claimed she didnt know why I was telling her to have compassion when she claims it could have been anyone who left the mess. I pointed out that B’s message was rude, condescending, and didn’t have to shame me publicly. I also pointed out how other roommates leave dishes in the sink all the time and I dont shame them for it. I don’t understand how she didn’t put the pieces together it was me and messaged me privately. A was helping me and C wasn’t in the apartment.I feel it’s unfair because B and C left donuts out last night and A and I cleaned them up without thinking t shame them. Also, C constantly leaves dirty dishes in the sink that pile up. At the same time, I could have just left it and apologized and cleaned up before leaving because it was not a medical emergency. AITA?Edit: I think some people got confused about the paper towels and paintbrushes. I know they seem like weird things to be left out, but the smoothie had gotten into the grooves of my computer so we were trying to use the tiny end of the paintbrush + paper towels to get it out. I don’t know why we had floss but A got that when I asked if she had any of those tiny floss pick things",AITA for not cleaning up before I left to fix computer/defending myself?,YTA -111jh10,"I am getting married in the spring and we are not interested (nor have the means) to spend a lot of money so we try saving where we can. Some money saving measures: invitations were sent out digitally, I will make the cake myself, the buffet will be made by the guests bringing a dish each (only if they can and want to of course, many guests have already said which dish they will bring) and a low cost catering company will make tapas. The wedding is on the smaller side, 30-40 guests approximately. (at least in my country (Austria) this is considered small-ish)I have 4 bridesmaids and I offered to buy the dresses for them so they roughly fit with the aesthetic I am envisioning. I bought the dresses from an online second hand retailer and my friends really liked the dress but one girl did not fit comfortably into the dress so she asked me to return it for a smaller size and I told her I could only get a similar dress, not the same.She appeared offended and incredulous about this and my other friends also were a little weirded out.Another friend who is not a bridesmaid confided in me that they referred to me as tacky behind my back and my mother told me that this is indeed tacky and almost offensive and that she would love to pay for beautiful new dresses. I don’t see the need for new dresses when second hand dresses are well cleaned and in great shape and I am hurt by my friends comments. I am not rich but I could technically afford to buy 4 40-50€ dresses but is it really tacky?I was kind of proud that I got my wedding dress really cheap second hand and altered it to fit beautifully and I thought it looked good but now I am worried people will think negatively about the dresses and maybe even the entire cheap wedding.Just fyi, my main lenguage is German so please excuse my mistakes",AITA for buying dresses for my bridesmaids second hand?,NTA -111jc4z,"My (M, 24) father passed away this November. It has been very hard on my family, but my mother has felt especially lonely since his death and has began dating casually. She has had a not-so-serious boyfriend for about 3 weeks now. Her birthday is in early February, and we decided to celebrate her birthday the weekend before her actual birthday at an escape room. I became very sick the Friday before that weekend and asked for the event to be moved to the next weekend. My mother agreed.That week, she texts me and asks if I can add three tickets. She calls me later and tells me that it was her boyfriend and 2 teenage sons that asked to join her escape room party since they had made plans together before the party was moved back. I acted very supportive and told her it was her party and could invite whomever she felt like. On the inside, I was very uncomfortable with the idea of meeting her new boyfriend so soon after my father’s death. I thought I would just suck it up for the night and let her have a nice birthday.I call my sister (F, 21) and we talk about how we are both uncomfortable with the situation. My sister says she was very explicit in telling my mother she did not like the idea of her boyfriend coming, but we both decide to try to tough it out.The day of the party comes and we do the escape room. I find it much more difficult to see my mother with another man than I thought it would be. I am upset but I pretend to be totally okay and play the escape room. My sister on the other had looks noticeably upset and my mom sees that quickly.The next day she is angry with my sister and tells my sister she was being childish and that her behavior was unacceptable. My gf and I try to tell my mother that my sister’s reaction was not out of line, but instead a manifestation of grief and unease. My gf did most of the talking because I was angry during this conversation and didn’t want to say something I’d regret. My mom disagrees and continues to say my sister was being childish.Since then, my mom has claimed that my girlfriend was mean to her during that conversation and implied I would not be allowed to live in our family home if my gf acted that way. My gf apologized to my mom even tho I thought she was respectful. I then get a text from my sis saying my mom is STILL complaining about how mean my gf was, even after she apologized.I then text my mother saying “Don’t say anything about (my gf) again. She was much nicer than I would have been.” After that my mother threatened to take away my car (formerly my dad’s) and told both my gf and I to “get a life.” She also blocked me over text, facebook, etc. and we haven’t spoken since.AITA for not originally telling her that I was uncomfortable with the party and trying to pretend it wasn’t a big deal?&#x200B;EDIT: I want to be clear and say I DO NOT have a problem with her dating or dating so soon after my father passed. I would prefer my mom be happy than alone. My issues were 1) She explicitly told me and my sister we wouldn't meet anyone unless they had been dating for 6 months.2) my mother's reaction to my sister being upset3) my mother continuing to be mad at my gf after she apologized ",AITA for lying to my mother and saying I was okay with her bringing her new boyfriend to her birthday party?,NTA -111pkvi,"Basically I have a childhood buddy (22), he recently brought up the idea of starting a business with a friend, AwesomeFew weeks later they tell me he and the friend are looking at getting a house now to live/ work out of. When I went to ask if they talked to a lawyer, talked about how it would be split, how payments would go (their name isn’t going to be on house) they told me they had it all figured out and I was being a asshole with questions. Am I In the wrong for not hyping him up and being more positive?",AITA for giving my friend advice?,NTA -111dzwv," My wife (43F) and I (43M) have 2 kids, thirteen year old twins, our son Daxton and our daughter Chole. Daxton has a girlfriend and Chloe has a boyfriend. For Valentine’s Day, both couples wanted to go out. We set up arrangements for them to go to restaurants that the kids wanted, Daxton wanted to go to one and Chloe a different restaurant, we ensured that it would be teen friendly before all plans were officially made.Around a week ago, Chloe’s boyfriend and Daxton came up to us and told us they needed advice, the boys are on the same soccer team together, so at first we assumed it would be about that. We sat down with the boys and Chloe’s boyfriend told us Chloe added him to a group chat with some of her friends, at first it was normal but then he said the girls started saying some mean stuff that made him uncomfortable. When he showed us the texts, we saw our daughter and her friends were making homophobic and racist jokes. They were also talking about the student travel trip that both Daxton and Chloe plan on going on, as well as some of their friends. Daxton went to Costa Rica last year with some friends, including a fellow teammate who has extended family in Costa Rica. Daxton and his friends really enjoyed it and wanted to go abroad over the summer again, this time to France. Chloe didn’t go last year because she was uninterested in going to Costa Rica, but wanted to join this year because she said France would be fun. In the chats, her and her friends were saying some pretty racist things about Costa Rica, they said some mean things about the friend the boys have, the boys were upset, especially because the boy was born here, so he’s a citizen and even has said he may want to enter politics one day. He’s a good kid. When we confronted Chloe about it, she laughed and said her boyfriend and brother were just “overreacting”, we asked to see her phone, she pushed back until she eventually gave it over, after doing some more digging, we realized it was even worse, so we contacted the parents of the kids and some of this has leaked into school.As a result of this, we told Chloe that she would not be allowed to see her friends or go out for the rest of the month, including her date with her boyfriend. We also told her if this happened again, she could lose the trip to France. Our daughter is upset with us, but so is Daxton because he thinks we’re unfairly punishing his friend because he didn’t do anything wrong and “deserves to go out with Chloe”. Chloe’s boyfriend still wants to go on a date, I sat down with the boys and explained it wasn’t their fault but their still mad. My kids have been complaining about it to family and my wife’s parents think we are being too hard on them and taking their side. AITA?",AITA for only letting one kid go out on Valentine's day?,NTA -111jx26,"Hi,those who have been following previously know that my sister had a baby and had severe birth complications regarding that. If you were wondering what's happening please check my profile. She and her husband have been going though some marital problems and are on the verge of divorce. She asked if I can let her move in with me while they work things out. I am pretty reluctant to let her do so as I have severe misophonia and her baby like all babies makes a lot of noise. When I met her baby for the first time, I could barely be around her for very long. My house is a five bedroom house and it is arranged in the form of wings. Hypothetically, if she did move in, I could let her stay in the wing farthest away from the master bedroom and that should not cause an issue. But the problem is that my boyfriend lives with me and the room for her is my boyfriend's study and my cat's bedroom. I spoke to my boyfriend about it and he said he was also deeply uncomfortable at the prospect of living with my sister and her baby. I communicated that back to my sister and offered to pay for a hotel room for her and her baby or buy her a plane ticket back to our mother in a different country where our mother owns a house. She was not happy with my response and started talking about how I'm being selfish and that I don't care about her or her baby. We have had a very distant relationship and are only now reconnecting and I'm just not comfortable living with her. She's always judgemental about my lifestyle and work. I love my sister and her baby and I wish them the best but I just want some space between us.AITA?",AITA for not wanting my sister to move in with me,NTA -111p93j,"I am a pretty avid gym goer for my physical and mental health. Its kind of become my sanctuary so I get a little overprotective of it. I go all different sorts of hours and I find a lot of rules being broken especially after hours.So I came to the gym around 8:30PM. There is a small lobby in the front with chairs and a table. Past that is the weight area.As I walk past, I see a teenager doing squats with a bar bell and weights. Sitting on the ground about 4 feet away from him is a teenage boy and girl sitting on the ground with their toddler. The toddler had to have been <1 year old and they were utilizing a yoga mat for him to sit on. They sat there talking to the guy between sets.I thought it was unsafe conditions for the toddler to be near the weight area. However, he wasn't ""unsupervised"" but I've seen my fair share of freak accidents involving children.But the whole situation...I knew I wouldn't be able to relax or focus on my workout. So I walked out and had sent an email to management about it.I truly felt like a Karen in this situation but I felt that they put this infant in a situation that had a potential to be dangerous...not just around weights but also seated in an area where gym goers would have to walk around them. I've seen plenty of kids in the gym, but its because their parents were working out and the kids were 10-13 yoa and sitting in the lobby area.Am I making a big deal out of this?",AITA for reporting an unsafe gym condition?,NTA -111hboo,"So recently my dad (M58) lost his wife, my stepmom, (F60) the day before Thanksgiving due to complications from minor surgery. It's been tough on him considering they've been together for 17 years. My dad recently moved a ""roommate"" in to help with the bills for the house he and my stepmom owned together. Now they may or may not be sleeping together but it wouldn't surprise me if they were, my dad cannot be alone and is one of those people that needs a partner.The roommate moved in at the beginning of February. I've met her and she seems nice enough, but because my dad has lost the person he considered to be his soul mate so recently I'm worried about this woman taking advantage of a grieving man. So I've been hinting that he gets a rental agreement in place. I just want to make sure he's protected in case things go south, I've heard too many stories of people squatting due to no rental agreement. I'm going to start pushing for the rental agreement because he's not taking the hints and I'm so worried he's going to get taken advantage of.So WIBTA?","WIBTA for insisting my dad have his ""roommate"" sign a rental agreement to move into the house he owns?",NTA -111xick,"So with the super bowl popping up on my feed, it reminded me of thisSo for background information, my parents are divorced, and my mom after a year of separation got a boyfriend who will call Pat. Pat comes from an upper-middle-class family we have a heated pool kind and are right-leaning and aren't great about LGBTQ+ I am a 20-year-old bisexual whose clothing style is genderfluid I wear skirts dresses heels and makeup. I'm also a big guy like 270 something maybe bigger and kinda hairy with long hair most of the time colored at the time pink and green with dark roots showing. now with that out of the way onto the story. So one day I think Friday or Saturday I was and currently staying with my mom and pat. Pat told my mom that his family is doing a fantasy football draft party to pick their players, mom didn't want to go at the time, and neither did I so pat went on to the party and let us have a mother-and-son day. mom told me about how they were doing a discount movie tickets day and it is fun to go see a movie and pick up pat from the party I thought it was a good idea and said I wanted to get dressed up for it so I got dressed feminine. I picked out short shorts with buckets on the sides of them a black and white button-up shirt a belt corset a black hat and finger less gloves and black ankle boots with a nice kinda tall heel. I did black lipstick and my mom helped me do a smokey eye it was nice. After that we tried finding a good movie to watch but there weren't any we were interested in so we just hung out for the day going to stores and doing some light shopping I don't even remember what we got and then mom got a text from pat asking if we want to go to the party and hangout a bit and I and her were in a good vibe mood so we went. on the way I remembered how I was dressed and how pats parents are so I asked mom if I was dressed okay to go there and show up as I was she said I look fine I asked her again about it and she asked if I wanted to change and to be honest I didn't want to I had fun getting dressed and I didn't want it to go to waste. so we went and when we got there and walked in every one seemed to be having a great time I didn't understand a lot of the things they were talking about mostly football stuff but it seemed like they were having a good time. we were there for about maybe half an hour before we left that's when it went to heck. pats parents told him the way I was dressed was inappropriate to there party which I could agree with if they stopped there they went on to say it was wrong for me to wear that and this and that was wrong and that I was part of the problem with kids like me. pat got angry with them and called them out of being rude and defending me. I only found out about it when mom told me about it a week later and I feel like an a**hole",AITA for being dressed up and going to a party,NTA -111qzjq,"This isn't about my relationship i'm single#So, I (19M) have a friend (20M) and he's the head boy of our school currently and I've known him for like 1.5 years#He became the headboy (this session) so he got in a relationship with the headgirl(20M) and i don't really know the headgirl personally.##So he posted a story on Instagram of himself and headgirl kissing, hugging etc, so as a joke with absolutely no negative intentions, i replied to his story #""headgirl gonna get laid tommorow by the head boy? 😂""(Because it's valentine's day tommorow so as a joke I wrote this)#I wrote it as a joke and he kind of didn't seem to get what I meant and asked#""what do you mean?""So i just replied ""nothing""Later on, i got a message from him""Headgirl Here""(He probably asked Headgirl the meaning of the message I sent him)""You have the audacity to ask someone this question?""#So i thought maybe they didn't take this as a joke so i just said# ""Sorry i was just joking""""Nothing personal""She replied with""Don't repeat such jokes with not just me, do not repeat them with anyone else""I said ""Okay""Then she said ""thank you""#Basically these kinds of jokes are very very normalised among all of my friends (males,females) so i really didn't put much thought before sending this message and had really no negative intentions behind it.##Now after a few hours i again get a message from my friend (Headboy) and boy he was mad madHe was absolutely pissed and really took it personally this may have ruined our friendship#After this i just feel really bad and wierdI was very normal with such kind of jokes but maybe it isn't normal to make such jokes?",AITA? Ruined A Couple's mood one day before Valentine's.,YTA -111gbme,"I tutor math for $15 an hour over Zoom. Back in September, I agreed to teach someone's child algebra 2, once a week, so they could test out of the class. Here's the laundry list of things that went wrong:--The kid has never been on time and is always 5-10 minutes late. He never has his camera turned on, which is fine, but makes it hard to connect with him. He is often loudly crunching on chips or cereal. --There were half a dozen last-minute cancelations that I did not get paid for. As in, minutes before the start time. The company policy is to charge, but I'm a pushover, so I didn't. --The dad frequently tells me to go over a certain topic in a certain way immediately before a session. Which, again, is fine, but makes it difficult to prepare well. --I've sent multiple messages explaining why this is a problem. It culminated in a meeting with the dad, who explained that 1) cost is not an issue, and 2) he doesn't expect the kid to pass the test, and just wants the kid to do something other than video games. For the whole meeting, which I didn't charge for, there was a loud buzzing sound in his background. --The last straw came last week, when the kid slept through an afternoon Zoom. I didn't hear anything from either the dad or the kid for almost twelve hours. They still have not ""confirmed"" that the lesson happened or offered to pay me. I've been incredibly anxious and stressed over this. I've had other clients who were occasionally late, or occasionally canceled last minute, or weren't interested in engaging with me, but never all three, all the time. I just feel that my time is being wasted, the kid's time is being wasted, and the dad's money is being wasted, so I want to tell them that I'm done. I like tutoring because I like helping people, and I'm sick of being a glorified babysitter. However, I could be the asshole here because, 1) I made a verbal agreement; 2) I'd feel bad ""punishing"" the dad because the kid is being disrespectful; 3) I'd feel bad maybe getting the kid in trouble; and 4) they've already paid a decent chunk of money for tutoring, which would be wasted if he doesn't pass the test.","WIBTA if I cut off a client who I had a verbal agreement with, but who has been constantly disrespectful of my time?",NTA -111n777,"Hi let me preface by that me (29M) and my gf (24F) have dated for a little more than a year and moved together half a year ago. We both work in the same field and I have about 15% more in salary than her. But due to me working a lot more weekends, evenings and night shift, ie. more ""uncomfortable"" times I earn about 30-50% more after taxes than her, % depending on the extra shifts I take due to being short-staffed etc. She has a car and student loan from before we met, once we talked about moving together into my appartment which I rent where I have included parking spot for one car it was an easy decision getting my 20-year old car pounded so we could have space for hers. I walk to work anyways. I use it for shopping groceries once a week maybe. Anyways, once we moved in together it was no problems splitting rent, gas & insurance 50/50 and I stood for the majority of groceries due to me eating more. We talked about the future and she mentioned it is hard saving money but it has helped now that we moved in together, I agreed and we got into how much debt we have and how much we haved saved up, well I told her the truth I am debt free and have saved approximately 30x the amount she has and it is all mostly invested. This has caused a bit of a rift, she said due to me already having earning more than her and due to already saved up a ton of money I should pay a lot more than we arranged from the start, to help her out with her car & student loan but I think that due to already paying half her insurance and half the gas even tho I barely use it 10% of the time is fair enough, and that we are a lot more close in wage ""in reality"" but due to me working a lot of uncomfortable hours it becomes a lot more. I can agree to paying the difference in pay (~15%) more in rent but don't think more, she called me an asshole for not shouldering more of the finances when I have a lot more money than her...We have similiar economic backgrounds and it is not like I were ""born rich"" or given any inheritance...AITA?",AITA for going 50/50 on finances?,NTA -111n5u0,"Hello! So I just want to give some context to this situation (sorry if it’s long!). I(17f) am having an argument with my mom about not being able to stay for my stepdad’s birthday(Sort of). His birthday is tomorrow, which is Valentine’s Day, and he’s turning 60 (whoop whoop! :D). The only problem is that my boyfriend set up a date for tomorrow too at around 8pm for us. When I told my mom, she went ballistic and started cursing at me saying that I am not allowed to go because I have to be there for the home cooked dinner and cake for my dad. I tried reasoning with her that it’s much later so I will be there to have dinner with the family for his birthday, but most likely not cake unless they do it earlier. The thing is, we already had a big birthday dinner last Saturday to celebrate my dad’s birthday so I didn’t see a problem with missing tomorrows. I already gifted him a cool present too so I didn’t really see the problem. I told her I should be able to be there for both my dad and my boyfriend, but my mom said that if I go on the date she’ll cut me off of things and that I’m an ass for not being with the family. I’m not sure what I should do. Am I in the wrong here?Thank for you for any advice and honest opinions about this if possible!",AITA for not being available for my dad’s birthday?,NTA -111cxkq,"My (24F) mom and I have always had a weird relationship. We didn’t used to get along but since growing up and realising that it couldn’t have been easy being a young (20) mom, I’ve since started making an effort to have a better relationship. From like when I turned 15.Fast forward and I’m now married (26M) to a white guy (btw I’m a mixed raced but not white) and she loves my husband. We all get along really well and we’re pretty close as a family. But one day we’re having a conversation and my mom keeps talking about “they” and “white people” and “black people” and it was starting to get to me because she kept on referring to “their behaviour” which I kept saying has nothing to do with the color of their skin. I then had enough and gently told her that she can’t say stuff like that because it’s racist. She got super offended and said she can’t be racist because she has black and white friends and her SIL is white. But I tried explaining that doesn’t mean you can’t be racist, it just means your racists behind their back. The reason it’s important for me to not have her speak like that is I don’t want her to think I’m okay with her saying these things when my husband is not there, and secondly, I don’t want my future kids to grow up around that kind of conversation and think it’s okay.We got into a huge argument with my entire family (excl hubby, he wasn’t with us) taking my moms side and my mom ended up crying so now Im wondering AITA for calling her a racist and making her cry?",AITA for telling my mom she’s a racist,NTA -111jaj8,"My sister decided 2 weeks before my birthday she was getting lipo and a bbl that happened to be scheduled for 3 days before my birthday, mind you she never asked me if I'd help her and I still ended up helping her on my birthday, ruining my plans for the day. Which wouldn't be a big deal if it wasn't the 1st time I was gonna celebrate in three years (one of my best friend died two days before my BDay in 2021, mourning in 21, out of respect in 22) Fast-forward to today, I'm an insomnic I often don't go to sleep until 3-5 a.m.which results in my waking up around 2 p.m. she's blowing up my phone mad because I'm not awake to come help her. I never said that I would she's just assuming that I would and I'm between jobs right now so I don't have the money or the gas to drive 45 minutes to come help her, not to mention the fact that shes down right a b*tch to me and has never apologized for making fun of my infertility, amongst other things. I help her with alot regardless, so am I the asshole?",AITA I don't want to help my sister after her bbl,NTA -111hj0c,"My husband bought a set of parts as a purchase from offer-up for our business. He took an invoice from the re-seller and when the goods were supposed to arrive we found out he (the scammer) intentionally addressed it with no last name and to a similar but different address. Unlucky for him we had already become suspicious and used the property tax rolls in our county to find where the package had landed. We caught the post office lady as she was unloading our street box and handed her the invoice & tracking and asked her to intervene. She went back for the package. We opened it in front of her & in front of our ring doorbell & it contained a piece of junk instead of the parts that were ordered. The next steps were to cancel our credit card, file a dispute, inform the local pd, inform the post office inspector, & send in a complaint to the ftc fraud division. I wasn't willing to let this go so I also contacted T-Mobile (the scammers' carrier) and convinced the rep to give me his full name and address ( I just told her the situation and asked and she obliged). I used that info to search within his county & the two surrounding counties & found his criminal record. I then texted him with the video unboxing, a copy of his criminal record,& his full name & address. Within 20 minutes my husband received a ""refund"" from him at 0.$. Since the e-mail claimed a refund of 0. I just assumed he was trying to be cute and further skirt the system. Because he never responded to our texts and since we had already initiated the dispute we figured we would just wait it out and leave it be.A few days later both a refund and a credit post to our account. I then check our account and verify the credit is, in fact, credit and not ""provisional"".In any normal situation, I would contact the bank and let them know, BUT... since this asshole scammed us I did not. I'm assuming since this guy has a criminal record a mile long and he's unlikely to try to get the extra refund back because it might open the door to further problems for him so it's highly probable this is ours to keep. I know there's a chance our bank will realize this and have left the excess in the account just in case. In order to get the extra refund back he would likely have to put himself through the fire so to speak and with an active police report and FTC complaint I doubt that's going to happen. So am I the asshole for keeping the scammer's money after being refunded?",AITA scammed resulted in double refund,NTA -111mu1g,"I (22F) am a college student. I live in a dorm with two other roommates, Cat, who is disabled, and Gia, who is a woman of color. Recently Cat was quoted in a report on diversity in theater (she is a theater major) and now she’s been asked to speak in front of the report team, which she is very excited about. I should clarify here that she is not visibly disabled unless she’s using her mobility device, which she doesn’t always need to do.When she told us she had been asked to speak, she told us how excited she was because she never expected to get the chance to share her experiences publicly this way. Gia made the comment “it helps that you’re a pretty little white girl,” which instantly changed the entire mood of the conversation. I asked her what she meant, and she basically said that the only reason they asked Cat to speak is because she doesn’t look disabled and is also white, petite and attractive. She said that Cat’s disability “barely counts” because it’s on the mild end of the spectrum for her condition and you can’t tell she has it by looking at her, then finished by saying Cat would “really know what it’s like to struggle” if she were Black or bigger or not as pretty.Cat did not say anything at this point, but I found this very unfair and said as much, and that it shouldn’t be about who struggled the most, everyone has their own struggles and Cat clearly still faces difficulties as a disabled person even though she’s white. I said that saying they only wanted her to speak because of her race was basically discounting both her experiences and the writing and speaking skills that got her the invitation. Gia told me that it was “a question of intersectionality” and that I as a white person couldn’t understand these things the way she could.We haven’t really spoken about the incident since, but I’m now wondering if I was in the wrong for it. Obviously I am white so I don’t have the same perspective as Gia, and Gia’s objectively correct in saying Cat might face more/different struggles if she didn’t look the way she does. But at the same time, it still seems like such a rude thing to say to someone. Cat herself has stayed very quiet since the whole thing happened and doesn’t seem as excited to speak as she was before. AITA?",AITA for calling my friend unfair?,NTA -111djtd,"I am pregnant with my first child, yay! Tomorrow we find out the gender and it is also the day we go public (all of our family already knows.) We made it clear early on that we're not doing a reveal party, and would rather just send a mass message.So far since then about 5 family members have requested they be the first to know, and asked to be told in person. That's a lot of driving, socializing, and energy spending that I don't have time or patience for tbh. I told those people that I can call them instead of group text, but I don't want to spend the day visiting everyone all over town, that sounds exhausting and I would rather spend the day alone with my husband. AITA here? I understand that everyone is excited for me, since I am my mothers last child to have a grandbaby and it will be my in-laws first grandbaby. But I'm tired. And I just don't think the gender reveal is such a big deal. I want to enjoy the moment privately with my husband instead of driving all over town going door to door.My mother in particular is upset with me for this, but I value this moment for myself and my husband. I won't cater to everyone else to make them feel special.",AITA for not doing anything special for my babys gender reveal?,NTA -111g5fq,"Context. My grandparents had legal guardianship of me since I was 7. I (F28) lost my mother young and have an absent father. My aunt (F50) was the closest with my mom. She also lives the closest to me.. she was the one who got me ready for my prom, graduation, etc. Her kids, my cousins would always spend the weekends at my house, we would do family vacations together and we are super close they are like my siblings. Fast forward I had moved out & my grandparents sold our family home & end up moving in with her. 1 month after moving in my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer, a year later she passed away. It was very hard on us & this is when the codependency began. My aunt started drinking heavily, and in my opinion is a functioning alcoholic as she still works full time. When she’s drunk, she ends up calling nonstop even when I’m busy. When I’m not readily available she will spam my phone with text asking if I don’t like her anymore. Or even calls my boyfriend multiple times trying to get in contact with me. I’ve had conversations with her before and have tried to set boundaries. Now that I work from home she’s been calling me first thing in the morning, in the afternoon multiple times when she has down time in her office, and as soon as I get off work. & I pick up some times because I feel guilty, she’s expressed before that she gets lonely and just wants to talk. But now her new thing is having a problem with everything my grandfather does & will call me to complain. I know my grandpa can be difficult at times but honestly he’s not that bad. Tbh she complains if this man breathes the wrong way..Her kids don’t speak to her much anymore due to her excessive drinking yet she still fails to see that she has a problem. I had a tough last year, just going through the growing pains of your late 20’s & I’ve started really building a discipline around yoga/meditation & just my healing in general. While also trying to figure out life and establish myself at 28. She knows this. recently I told her that I was having a rough week, feeling burnt out, and took off a few days from work. She took that as an invitation to blow up my phone first thing in the morning calling & sending texts telling me to call her, claiming it was an emergency(really was just another petty thing about my grandfather). I had enough, called her and told her to stop calling me, we don’t need to speak all the time especially if it’s about bs drama. I reminded her that she is 50 years old not a child and needs to make decisions for herself & stop coming to me with every little thing I’m not her dumping ground and we all have shit going on. & I don’t appreciate her calling me all day everyday as I have a life. & I’m in a space now where I don’t care to sit and talk about other people cause atp she doesn’t ever call to just check in. I don’t want to come off as ungrateful, as she’s the closest thing I have to a mother figure..I’m not as close with my other family.",AITA I (F28) told my Aunt (F50) to stop calling me and we don’t need to speak all the time.,NTA -111slrs,"Evening everyone,I have a close friend who had come over to check out my aquarium, she walked in, and we chatted, I started testing the chemical levels for my new planted aquarium, I said out loud these chemicals are toxic and started to begin the testing. She began playing with my dog (which is very common, he loves to play with her the second she arrives) and she got out a nerf gun which he gets SUPERRR stimulated for. I hear her popping it off, he's running around playing and retrieving, then a pause..followed by my pup letting out an extremely loud, sharp lab bark that penetrates the apartment. Ok no problem I think, it's a fluke....I continue testing....nerf pops off, he fetches, and soon after I sense a pause again while she waits for him to do something (my back is to them both) the dude lets out a massive single bark again, this time it startles me and I almost mess up my tests/ arm jolt kinda shock...I look over and yell no, he goes into his crate, shamed of his loud lab voice. After a pause, I look back and tell her ""you know I am testing this stuff, and its toxic. You need to stop doing that kinda stuff"". She says I don't need to be such a dick about it, I say nothing and resume testing..... I didn't really know what to say. She repeats herself, saying ""did you hear me?"" and I reply ""yeah, you heard him bark once over that, you knew he was going to do it again"". She denies she knew this was happening, begins packing up her stuff, and tears start coming out over the altercation.... as she is leaving in tears I ask if she knew this was going to happen and she claimed no again.. (to me this cause and effect was so obvious I honestly didn't believe her.) ... I say ""ok! well then you're dismissed!"" and she promptly leaves. I call my dog back from his crate to make sure he's ok, tail wagging and ready to play...dudes fine. AITA? She also said I am not a very vulnerable person the day before when we were listening to an NPR podcast on vulnerability..... she does these random character reviews of me when we are chilling and they feel totally uncalled for. She has also on several occasions come into my apt unannounced, sat down and asked if everything is alright while I am playing video games, then probes....forcing me to go from enjoying things like playing a game to wondering, ""am I ok?"" holy shit I have no idea! But I sure was fine before you started asking me all these questions.I feel like I should feel terrible about making her cry, but I don't, and I wonder if I should.After things simmer down a bit I do plan on talking to her and letting her know it was not my intention to make her cry and apologize for hurting her feelings. -Update, (which I did).","AITA - Dog barked, I argued, she cried",YTA -111sjea," Recently my(20f) bf(21) has been getting into betting on sports. He's been making some good money from it because he's really into sports so I asked him if he could make the bets for me too. At first, he said no because he didn't want to make me lose money and feel responsible for it. I asked him if he could just do the bets that he was confident would win and he agreed. It's been going well so far, and I'm up over 1k from the $100 I deposited.Today he asked me to send him $250 of my winnings for the work he put in for me. I was confused because, in my opinion, he wasn't doing any extra work for me because these are the same bets he puts in for himself anyway. All he's doing is telling me what to bet on, and sometimes he takes my phone and does it for me. I deposited my own money to make the bets with. I told him I feel like giving him part of it feels like I hired him to do this for me and I'm paying him for it. Almost like hiring someone to do my taxes. I didn't agree to this when we first talked about it, and he didn't push it until now, almost 3 months and 1k later.I see his perspective, but I'm annoyed because he's making the same bets for himself and making more money because he puts more into them. The only extra work he's doing is telling me what to do too. He said that he's not making more money because he loses a lot from riskier bets he makes for himself. I asked him why he can't just stick with the safer bets as he does for me. And why would that be a reason he wants to take the money he wins for me?He told me I'm ungrateful and should be giving him the money as a thank you. I feel like as his gf, why can't he just help me out and expect nothing in return, especially when he's making the same money and more off the same bets for himself?I'm giving him the $250 because I don't want to fight anymore and I feel like maybe I am being ungrateful.Am I the asshole for not wanting to give him a part of the money his bets win me?",AITA for not wanting to give my bf a part of winnings,NTA -111kgpa,"My middle aged friend and two older ladies just went on vacation. My friend got very drunk and had unprotected sex with at least 4 people over 3 days, sometimes in public, including our waiter, a young kid barely out of his teens and the common- law married first-mate on our boat. While drunk, she walked naked on our hotel room balcony and staff had to come to the room to ask if there was a problem.She told the concierge about her encounters, and also texted family members. She had public sex on the bow of a boat while my stepmom was getting seasick, and had sex on a poolside bed. Towards the end, she had a bad encounter that resulted in bruises. I was shocked, scared, horrified and embarrassed. I'm not a therapist and not very empathetic, but I offered to take her to the doctor or the police, and also advised her to drink less so she could at least make good, clear choices in sexual partners and remember her sexual encounters. I also told her to use protection no matter what.I did apologize to her for losing my temper and yelling at her. She insists her behaviour had no impact on the rest of us and that she is free to do what she wants with her body. I disagree. She called me a judgy vanilla flavored entitled bitch and said I was unsupportive. She also called me stupid when I said I always think about how my own deceased mother would feel before I decide to do something I'm unsure of. I did exhibit tough love. Was it too tough? Am I too judgy? She said she didn't want any help from me. I suggested a combination of alcoholism, menopause and inner demons had conspired to transform my friend into someone unrecognizable. We both said things we shouldn't have. Am I the asshole?",AITA for being angry my friend's dangerous antics on our vacation?,NTA -111i46h,"Okay so for context I am a 16 year old girl and I enjoy going for walks, alone, along a footpath near where I live. My parents, particularly my mum, have a problem with this as they feel that it is unsafe for me to go on walks alone they do let me however, they often show a lot of distress when I go and I’m not allowed to go out when it’s dark or getting dark.Today, after school I decided to go for a walk I made sure that I was going early enough so that I would be back before it was dark, i didn’t want to take my phone as I didn’t have any pockets and find it to be an inconvenience unfortunately, this made my mum hysterical she began shouting and stomping, almost crying, because of this and it’s not the first this has happened. Back in the summer she reacted the same way simply because she was going out, I had a key so was able to let myself back in the house, I went anyway even though she wasn’t happy and this lead to her following me in the car crying asking me to get in the car and go home, I didn’t. Today, I did end up going because she knows that I’m not going to give in, when I was on my way back she was watching out of the window for me and when I asked why she denied that she was watching me. This really annoys me.I enjoy going for walks as it allows me to relax and clear my mind however when my parents react like this it really upsets me and I find it to be ridiculous that I have to put up a fight in order to go for a walk. I am absolutely sick to death of it and I just want to be able to go out whenever I want for as long as I want without them getting hysterical or constantly ringing me. Also because of this I began sneaking out early in the morning to go for walks while they are still asleep. Am I in the wrong here or are they. Please share your thoughts.",AITA for wanting to go on a walk alone?,ESH -111jzou,"First time posting in this sub, sorry if it isn’t formatted correctly.I (late 30’s/m) am having a bday in a couple months, so I planned a weekend with my wife (mid 30’s/f) to visit a nearby city that we used to live in (all our friends still live in this city as well). I wanted to do a couple things and visit friends while there since we don’t see them that often anymore. My wife was visiting that city this past weekend and hung out with some mutual friends. Our mutual friend (we’ll call her Sarah) has the same bday as me and told my wife on she was making plans of her own on her bday to have all her friends wear costumes and go bar hopping and that we (wife and I) are expected to be there because we’ll be in town that weekend. When my wife told me this I told her, no, it’s my birthday so we’ll be doing things that I want to do (and already made plans for). My wife is telling me “it’s only one night” and I should go along with it, but I keep telling her that “one night” is my birthday! Yes, I understand Sarah is my friend too, but am I the asshole for wanting to celebrate my birthday on my birthday? Sarah knows we have the same day birthday and has made no effort to contact me or even invite me to her party.",AITA for wanting to celebrate my birthday on my birthday?,NTA -111ds7u,"i (15f) suffer from clinical depression and anxiety and i also have autism. the past few months have been specifically difficult for me because of everything culmulating and just making my mental health rlly bad.because of this, most teachers usually stay off my case, the extent of that depends on which teacher. some dont tell me off when im not paying attention and just gently remind me of what im supposed to be doing, if i dont get a lot of work done, most of them just check if im having any trouble with the topic, and if im not they just leave it (im in set 1 for everything and have barely any academic problems), and some just leave me alone except for to ask if im okay or to check i understand the work (unless im disrupting other ppl ofc). this has worked rlly well to make my time at school a lot more bearable, and i havent had any academic problems because of it.one teacher however, just wont leave me alone for the life of me. shes constantly telling me to pay attention when i look away from the board for even a second. i was having a derealization episode while we were supposed to be doing work and when she snapped me out of it, i was very teary eyed, confused, panicked, and 'flinchy' for lack of a better word (thats how i normally am when i get snapped out of it by someone else). instead of even asking if i was okay, she told me off for not doing the work and said i better hurry up to get it done before the timer ran out.in the same lesson, i was in a very bad state of mind because i was spending all of my energy trying to pay attention to the class so i wouldnt get told off (its harder for me than it sounds), and then we had to write an essay. i have sensory issues which heighten when im stressed, and one of the major ones is paper, so it wasnt easy for me to write. in addition to me not being able to pay attention, this meant i was only able to write half of the essay in the time we had. she came over to me and said that this amount of work wasnt acceptable and that she didnt wanna give me detention for lack of effort but shed be keeping a close eye on me from now on.i was very stressed and just not good after that lesson so i basically just decided to tell my friends, to get everything off my chest. their responses were 'well its not her fault you didnt do the work', and 'youre mad because she isnt babying you?'. i obviously got quite upset at these comments, and from then on it was clear my friends thought my treatment at skl was unfair, and i was being babied. im getting kinda fustrated at this, and feel as if i cant talk to anyone because im being spoiled or sm.so aita?EDIT: my friends are fully aware of my conditions and how they affect me in class",AITA for being 'babied' by teachers?,NTA -111n20b," I work for a school and every Spring our district hosts a staff volleyball league where schools play for fun, for context I did this league last year but was a float so I didn't have a particular school so to speak, so I just happened to find a team and they accepted me (considering it was a school I spent most of the time working at during the year). This school year I actually got offered a job doing the same thing I do now but at a permanent location, and am wanting to form a team for the school I'm at now. About a couple of weeks ago I managed to get a list of people who wanted to play (it was well over the min we needed so I figured ""great! Let's get the ball rolling"") however as I've been communicating to them I'm not really getting a sense that they either want to play or are just too busy (I've mainly been communicating through e-mail and I think only 1-2 people respond to them regularly, I've sent about 5 e-mails) the league starts in less than 3 weeks but we don't have next week since we're off all week due to mid-winter break. I'm starting to reconsider having the school play since I'm not having full confidence we will actually have a team come time to play, however I'm still interested in playing and have thought about wanting to join a different school to play (the league allows staff to play for other schools if their own school doesn't have a team), however I feel like just pulling the plug on my school's team would make me an AH since although small: there are people that are interested in playing. At the same time though: there has been very little communication to me about the league which is leading me to think maybe they're not interested.So WIBTA for just dropping the team and playing somewhere else?",WIBTA If I left a team I'm organizing to play with a Different team?,NTA -1117eul,"So, my friend had to move. He secured a new place.I’m moving the same week as him, he knew this for weeks.His new flat needed cleaning before moving in and his old flat needed cleaning to satisfy end of tenancy inspection. My friend asked what he can expect to pay for a deep clean of both entire properties.Gave him market rate of £300 per flat. He asked if I would be interested in some cash work, given the current economic state. Given that I have been childhood friends with the guy 15+ years I was going to strike a deal with him anyway.I suggested £150 as an all-in fee, asserting that £150 is very cheap for both flats to be deep cleaned fully including carpet washing. He barters down to £100. I told him 6hrs per flat @ £10 an hour, call it £120 and a few pints when the move is over. Agreed to that.Whilst the new flat was, empty - it was quite grimy. When I finished the new flat, we headed over to his old flat. I'm a bit of a lump, so he wanted a hand moving heavy bulky furniture. Many hands make light work, right?However.When I arrive at his old flat to start cleaning, they hadn’t begun packing. They hadn't emptied the kitchen, stripped the bed, nothing. It was like they were in the middle of their lease. There were no boxes or bags, no furniture had been dismantled until I picked up tools and started doing it myself.I ask him why it looks like nothing was started, he tells me his gf had booked 2 tattoos, nails and hair appointment the very day they are due to move, because it's ""her day off work."" They had an entire month to prepare for this.So now, I've been roped into putting their tat into boxes, with him faffing around barking orders telling us what should and shouldn't go in what box, fiddling with his radio and watching us pack his and his gf’s crap whilst he sits on hold to his broadband provider for an hour. Despite having 4 people helping, the use of 2 cars and a van he hired, their lack of preparation meant the clean took 25hrs, not the quoted 12.Now, the kicker is that he didn't tell me he wasn't paying me for this for another 3 weeks until after I had finished the clean because “the move has been expensive”I did not hold back. I said ""Do I look like Klarna Cleaning Services? And did I really just rush my own move, waste 3 days packing stuff that you should have done yourself, break my back lugging your furniture up and down your stairs, and listen to you barking orders at me for 3 days for you to then tell me you'll pay in 30 days, for a clean that would have cost you 4x anywhere else?""His response was he'd pay it over the weekend as he didn't want any animosity.It’s now Monday afternoon, and I'm still not seeing any money.What has wound me up about this whole fiasco is his total disregard for my move, their lack of accountability for planning and packing their move, his lack of respect for telling me he wasn't paying me for some time, and the fact that any of this is OK just because we’ve been friends for years. AITA?",AITA for chasing payment for 2 tenancy cleans I did for my friend at a huge discount?,NTA -111rx1t,"I (13F) have ADHD & I'm Afro-Latina have a best friend of 8-9 years Bex (13F) she's white & nurotypical. We texted every day. We trusted each other with our lives. But recently it's been broken.I'm panromatic and the first person I told? Bex. I also told her I liked this person Jo/Jeff (13F/M) they're white & autistic. We got each others struggles well which helped us bond. I entrusted Bex to tell no one. When I go over to her house her brother (10M) keeps making jokes using Jo's full name. I was kinda scared my mom was gonna hear since I was still closeted at the time. I was talking to her here and there but somewhere far from our moms. She was even able to meet Jo! They seemed pretty cool so I was happy!&#x200B;My mom is highly homophobic, everyone knows this including my best friend and her mom. She quits shows as soon as something gay appears on screen. She even blocked her best friend bc she came out as bi. She stops watching youtubers if she thinks they look gay. So when my mom just bursted in my room saying, ""BITCH YOUR FUCKING GAY!?"" It scared the living crap outta me. She just guilt tripped me the entire time which was like an hour long.The week before me and Jo had finally started dating, even going out on a date that friday. (It was just hanging out by getting some good close to our school but it felt special) I told my best friend the day before my mom found out I was gay. My mom told me that Bex told her mom I was gay. This hurt me.So when bex texts me a week later I was pretty mad at her. She texted me some meme she made about how many people have betrayed her. It felt hypocritical of her to send since she just outed me to her mom who is also very iffy about the lgbt. WHY!? I said ""cool meme, why did you throw me under the bus?"" She was like "" how did I throw you under the bus"" HOW!? I responded ""you outed me, to my very homophobic mother, TYSM"" she just responded with a ""fuck you. :)"" ok whatever. Then an hour later I get my phone smashed to bits because ""I cussed out becca"" who's the good person and better daughter than I could ever be.Now I feel bad. I feel not enough some nights. I only have my gf and No one else. I also feel like next never really understands what I go through and what's it's like to be me. No one really likes me. Most of the time I feel like I sound dumb and I seem narcissistic. So AITA?",AITA For Yelling at My Friend?,NTA -111vyy7,"I (21F) have been dating Ben (23M) for almost two years now. Around 3 years ago, I used to mess around with a guy named Jack (21M), we were friends with benefits for 2-3 months but there were never any feelings involved so I use the term ""ex"" very loosely. Due to the nature of our relationship, him and I remained vaguely friends - we do not talk often, but we still invite each other when we have an event or something like that. Him and my bf know each other and have met on several occasions and got along well. This was mostly at parties I've thrown over the past few years, maybe 5-6 times total. To my knowledge, my bf never had a problem with this at all. A few days ago Jack invited me and Ben and a few other mutual friends to his bday party, and I said I'd be happy to come. I talked to Ben about this and he said he didn't want to attend (for no specific reason, he doesn't have a prior arrangement). He also said if he's not attending, he doesn't want me there either. I thought this was unreasonable as Jack always attends my parties, including my birthday party last year. As well, it's not like I'd be alone with him, the party would have lots of mutual friends around. I said it would be rude for me not to attend, and Ben said very cynically that Jack would understand. I asked him if anything happened between him and Jack that I might not know about and he said no, he's just always felt this way and hasn't said anything before. This all feels very out of left field for me and I don't know where to go from here. Jack has never once insinuated he is still interested and I thought all was good between him and my bf. WIBTA for attending Jack's party anyway?",WIBTA for going to an ex's birthday party?,NTA -111vxuo,"I live in the suburbs on a long street which ends in a cul-de-sac. The front of the street has townhomes with 2 lots of limited parking (ie 1 car per townhome). The road then transitions to a small park and then a group of fairly large homes leading up to the dead end. Due to the limited townhome parking, cars park along the long road and take space near the townhomes, beside the park, and up to the first few larger single family homes. It’s crowded particularly in the evenings/overnight. I live in the first home after the town homes/park. As I’ve said, cars tend to park in front of my home in the evenings. Most of the time they park overnight and are gone the next morning. However, 1 person parks his car in front of my home and leaves it for days at a time. He parks there even when there is space closer to the townhomes or in front of the park. He does it, in my opinion, because he thinks it’s safer to park in front of the “nice houses”. He is parked legally most of the time. I don’t like this for 2 reasons - first, I think you should only park in front of my house if the spaces closer to the townhomes are taken, second, he occasionally parks too close to my mailbox/driveway and I get notes from the postal service that they can’t deliver my mail because “I’m parked to close to the mailbox.” Legally - he is supposed to leave space for mail carriers to deliver the mail. Last week, I saw him parking in front of my house (legally), while there were plenty of open spaces near the park. I went outside and confronted him. I asked him to stop parking in front of my house when there were spaces closer to his home available. I did not mention the undelivered mail as a reason. His response was “this is America, I can park wherever I want.” And “the previous owners, were nicer than me (we moved in somewhat recently)”. I told him - they likely were nicer, reiterated I didn’t want him to park there anymore and left. He hasn’t parked in front of my house in several weeks. AITA?",AITA for confronting someone who was legally parked in front of my house,YTA -111mu7n,"First post and written on mobile, so excuse the wonky formatting and everything else.I live in an apartment complex with communal laundry rooms. There are multiple laundry rooms, and each room has 3 washers and 4 dryers. Everyone SHOULD know that when you put your laundry in, you set a timer and come to unload it. It’s not that hard. Which brings me to the story. So I am going to the laundry room and I open it up; all three washers are taken, BUT they are all finished with the cycle. I do not know how long the laundry has been done for, or if anyone is coming to get it. So I wait 5 minutes, then I unload one washer and set the clothes on another, put my stuff in, push start, set my timer, and go back to my business. The cycle took 30 minutes, so I had set my timer 5 minutes before my cycle would be done. This would give me proper time to be there when it ends so I could move my stuff to the dryer. My timer goes off, I go to the room, move my clothes from washer to dryer, then I set my timer and get ready to leave. As I’m walking out, some dude walks in to do his laundry and I think nothing of it. I’m halfway down the hall at this point and the guy comes out and yells at me “Hey! Don’t touch my stuff when it’s in the washer!”I, startled yell back “Me?”And he then yells “Whoever did it!”That’s pretty much it, I think it was pretty warranted given that it took him 30 minutes minimum to go get his mildew smelling laundry from the washer. But Reddit I still ask, AITA?",AITA if I moved someone’s laundry?,NTA -111vx0l,"I (24m) am about to graduate from college and I cannot wait to start my professional life in august. However, I realize that this might be the last “summer vacation” free time I’ll get and I want to make the most of it by exploring the world and having new experiences. Now to preface, I am from a brown family so the family value stuff weighs heavy on me.After graduation, I was planning on going on a trip to South Korea, Tokyo, back to my home country, then to Singapore, London and back to the US. This whole airfare is costing me literally pennies so I want to jump on it. However, my family forced me to change my plan such that I go to Korea, spend the summer with them, then Tokyo and back to the US. This is not only costing me more, but they’re forcing themselves to come with me to tokyo because they don’t want me to “travel alone”. I’m mature, I’ve traveled alone before (and they were upset then too), but they still treat me like a child.I fought them for a few days but caved in. They guilt tripped me into agreeing. However, I regret saying yes because I just want to have some solo experiences in life and want to travel alone. I’m paying for it by myself. I’m arranging it myself. Yet I am forced to stick to their rules just to keep them from getting upset. I’m planning on talking to them again and putting my foot down this time. AITA for continuously saying no to them for joining my trip?",AITA for fighting my family over a summer trip,NTA -111ml02,"I live in a neighborhood of single family homes and it is a short walk to the mailboxes. To get to the mailbox I have to walk between two homes that have significant space between them with no fence. I usually walk about every other day wearing sandals so there is absolutely no damage to the grass between these homes. But today I was stopped by one owner while told me I need to stop cutting through. I didn’t think I was being such a pest, I have people who have walked and played on my lawn all the time. Am I the asshole for cutting between two houses?",AITA For Walking Between Houses,YTA -111m4u2,"A few months ago me my gf and my mom were on line for Rise of the Resistance. The ride had broke down so even tho we were there at opening still waited two hours. So we get through the part where the star destroyer captures you and takes you on board and get to the part where the cast member/imperial officer tells you what color to stand on so you know what row to get in the car. In front of me is the plump, rosy cheeked, 62ish, full head of hair white dude and his wife. Think newt Gingrich. We called him Augustus. Anyway. The cast member tells them to stand on orange. Nothing. Orange! Still no movement. She comes up and goes “I can only say it so many times”. Still nothing. So I stick out my arm and go “yo go stand on orange” and point to it and then, Lower “Jesus Christ it’s not hard”. They move. People murmur thank you. (This took a bit longer than it seems as there were gaps between the cast members attempts) She goes “They are under my command not yours” then mouths thank you.When we get to the part where we get into the cars, the wife calls me an asshole…AITA for keeping things moving? Oh also we had an upcoming lightning lane at Tower of terror so ya know, timelines",AITA for piling on with the Stormtrooper?,YTA -111qvn9,"I (M22) am part of a group of 5 friends who been very close since high school. So, one of my friends (M21) Hector was friends with this girl for a long time and my other friend (M21) Ryan started dating this girl. Ryan and this girl broke up on bad terms and Hector continued to be friends with this girl. 4 months after Ryans and girls break up, Hector started dating this girl and didn't tell anyone. After 2 months Hectored finally told everyone in the group and we all drop him for his actions. This all happened about 6 months ago. FastForward to this recent super bowl Sunday, we all got invited to a super bowl party (including Hector) from a friend outside of our group. We all end up going and hanging out, taking shots, going swimming, etc. Ryan ended up leaving feeling upset that we could so casually hang out with him again and act like friends again. Ryan told us that he felt upset because we act so friendly around the person that wrong him and broke his trust. I feel horrible knowing I made Ryan upset but it's very hard for me not to miss my friend Hector. We were extremely close and basically like bothers. I told my friend Ryan that we won't hang out with Hector, but Ryan said it won't change the fact that we still missed him and still wanted to be his friend. WIBTA if I continued to hang out with Hector?",WIBTA If I continued be friends with someone who broke the groups trust?,NTA -111jww4,"My 30th birthday is coming very soon. 2 of my close co-workers have asked me what I wanted to do for my special day. I told them that it would be really cool if we could do an escape room together. One of them tells me that they've already asked other people to join in on birthday festivities (6-8 people) For that reason, I suggest going out at a restaurant and we could still do the escape room on the side.Fast forward 4 days later, they now inform me that there will be 15 people and reservations are made. I was very surprised and was beginning to feel like it was going to be more of a co-worker get together thing. When I asked who was all invited and coming, I can assure you that there were some people who were invited that I don't have a connection with and feel like they were just tagging along for the food.I was reassured that this wouldn't be just ""a co-worker setting"" and that in fact people would be there for me. Also, we were 3 yesses to do an escape room and last minute, the 4th person tells me that she is not interested and is going to pass. I told her that I wished she had told me sooner so that I could find another person to do the room with. She told me that she didn't feel the need to let me know ahead of time about the escape room because those plans were ""no longer in the books"".I told her that I suggested supper to accomodate the amount of people that she had invited and that I didn't think that negated the escape room idea entirely.My 2 co-workers felt like I was being selfish, ungrateful and they felt unappreciated for making that comment. They decided to cancel the reservations entirely and let me deal with it on my own so that I could have more control over deciding what I get to do for my bday. They also told me that as it stands, they will no longer be attending the evening. I didn't think that this entire thing had to be cancelled....was I the asshole?",AITA for making a comment about inviting certain people to my birthday dinner?,NTA -111g3e6,"For background, my sister is about 10 years older than me and started helping take care of me when I was 10 so has always been a mother figure when there was none. I've always respected her but I don't think this is right. I'm 24 now and she let me move in with her after our father passed away and while I'm still in college. I pay her $600 a month and it's me and 2 dogs sleeping in her living room. She's never had a problem with my behavior until my new girlfriend, and she's never been homophobic. We had our little spats but it's never been this bad. She asked me to do things like let her know where I am or when I'm going to be home, which was fine. Until suddenly it was never enough information and she began to think I was lying about things like working late to spend time with my girlfriend. She suddenly thought I was leaving the house too much or coming back too late (any time after 9pm) and we started always arguing. Then she gave me this letter and list of rules to follow or I wouldn't have a home anymore.The letter is telling me how childish and disrespectful I've been but she didn't site any specific times. She told me I didn't respect her and so she didn't like the person I was becoming. The rules include a 9pm curfew on school night and a 12am curfew on weekends. And if I want to go anywhere but work or school I have to give 24 hour written notice because she has to watch my dogs. I don't believe they're that much of a burden, they were fine for the few months I lived alone, I had a camera to watch them. She doesn't get as upset when I'm out with anyone else, just my girlfriend. She always requires some random chore to earn my seeing her that day. If it's something I already did she comes up with something else. When I tell her about something I want to do with my girlfriend she insists she should ask her permission before I can go, but my sister doesn't want me to tell my girlfriend she needs to ask my sister for permission.I even have texts from when she said one thing, like as long as I was home by 9pm she didn't care what I did, but then she claims she never said that even with proof.Am I being a bad roommate by being out too much? Should I have to take the dogs with me everywhere I go when I'm not at work? Or have I overstayed my welcome even though she said I could stay until college was over?Edit: I don't make her take care of the dogs. I buy everything for them, feed and water, take them on walks and do playtime. She doesn't have to do anything for them. She doesn't even have to watch them because they are trained to behave alone in the house. I have video proof. When they do occasionally make a mess I clean it up. I don't make her do anything for them because they are My babies.",AITA for not wanting to follow my sister's rules?,NTA -111lk7q,"I'll try and keep this short. So I (29f) live with my disabled mum and so does my older brother (36m). He moved his gf (f28) in 3 years ago when she lost her flat and had nowhere else to go. This was *meant* to be temporary. Over the years, we've put up with her drunkenness, screaming matches and lack of respect for household items. Honestly, it's been something that has chipped away at me slowly. She ruined new years one year by coming home plastered at exactly midnight, walking in and just insulting my then boyfriend for 10 minutes before going upstairs. The housework is left for me and mum, they use the place more like a hotel. There is no respect from her. She stomps her feet like a small elephant and has even pissed the dog off to the point he barks at her now when he sees her.I've begged them to get their own place but they won't move out, saying they can't afford it. I'd love to downsize and get a smaller place for me and mum, but I can't with my brother and his gf there too. Mum thinks I'm being over the top by asking this of them, but I can't take it anymore. They both work, but she can't save money to save her life. My brother is no better. I just want some peace in the house. So am I being an asshole by asking them to move out?",AITA? I can't stand my brothers girlfriend.,NTA -111nof9,"So, basically the title. My 30th birthday is coming up very soon and I expected him (30M) to spend it with me. I’ve talked about it to him many times now but nothing too specific. Meaning that there were no big plans just the intent to spend it together and he agreed. Yet two days ago when I asked, he was very hesitant and finally told me we can meet for a moment but not for long. Which made me sad because he made it seem like he didn’t care about it at all and forgot about our talks. He also ignored me the entire evening after this misunderstanding. Today he told me he didn’t mean it that way yet still didn’t explain anything and was very quiet.Now talking to him on the phone he literally asked me what is his role in my birthday if it’s my birthday. Call me an old school romantic but to me it’s pretty basic to want to feel special on my birthday and spend it with my SO. I always make people feel special on their birthdays and did the same thing on his. I didn’t even know what to answer to this. In my previous relationships I never had to explain such things. AITA?",AITA for expecting my boyfriend of 8 months to spend my birthday with me?,NTA -111gxav,"So for context I’m in highschool.I have a classmate that I’m going to call Nathan.Nathan is a very nice and chill dude, we aren’t friends but we do talk from time to time. He does have difficulties in school thought, he has trouble understanding things and usually needs to have things explain to him multiple times.For this reason teachers don’t like him that much since they heave to keep repeating things over and over again. Especially the science teacher.Yesterday we were in science class. I was sitting next to Nathan. Nathan didn’t really understand the lesson and kept on asking me questions about it.He didn’t want to ask the teacher since the science teacher in particular has a habit of yelling at him.I didn’t mind this at all and tried my best to answer all of them. But there was one I couldn’t answer, so Nathan decided to just ask the teacher.The teacher got really mad at this question. She then started screaming him telling him how dumb he was for asking that and how he would have known if he paid attention in class.It caught me completely off guard since she was yelling way louder and more aggressively than usual.She didn’t stop either, just got more and more aggressive in her wording the more she yelled.Nathan then started crying which he has never done. He was also shaking. The teacher then started scolding him for being too emotional (her words not mine) and kept on yelling at him.I got sick of this so I got up to accompany Nathan out of the classroom to calm down. The teacher then yelled at me to come back to my desk and I ended up yelling back at her to shut the f\*ck up.Me and Nathan ended up sitting on a bench in the school court yard so he could take a breather.I got put in a weeks detention for that later in the day and the school board called my dad. I tried to explain the situation too the school so I could get out of detention but they said that they couldn’t do anything about it.My dad is pretty mad at me for that, he says that it was Nathan‘s problem if he got yelled at and that I shouldn’t have skipped class and insult the teacher since she was probably just having a hard and stressful day.&#x200B;I now feel kinda guilty for telling her that. She does have I pretty hard job after all.Honestly I’m just really confused, am i the a-hole?",AITA for yelling at my teacher?,NTA -111jdd0,"Me (15m) and a girl (15f) had a class debate. She kept talking over me, so I said her name. And told her to shut up. She told me to shut up with my shit and disgusting hair. Then, she ran after me with scissors. And threatened to cut my hair, she was joking but still.Then I said: ""\[her country\] is racist because of their persecution of \[people from my country\] (her country does have a history of doing that)""; I was joking, and also my friends pressured me to say that. I got kicked out.Before, I got sent to the principal. I showed the teacher a snap of the girl flipping me off, and said what she does to me. She ran after me with scissors, called my hair shit. And you let her and didn't do anything. Then the teacher lost it at her and told her she's sick of her. And she is at risk of suspension over what she pulled of.I then looked outside of the office and she was on the floor crying. She found came to me crying and bawling her eyes. And I promised her I won't show the picture to anyone. Then I went to go get my bag, she came with me. I put my hand on her shoulder and promised to not tell anyone. I kept apologizing, she kept emphasizing that she isn't upset with me. But KEPT APOLOGIZING TO ME!!!We ended up being let off the hook, ever since she's been staring at me (at parties and class). Whenever something funny happens she looks at me and laughs. She looks at me and smiles, she teases me, she also wants me to join a debate with her and keeps saying that I would win the debate. And if I was to ever debate her, that I would destroy her. She always laughs at my jokes, even when they're cringe and not funny. She laughs at them more then she does at actually funny jokes. So I really don't know what the whole situation is about, AITA? Idk why she stares at me.Also, to clarify on her behavior. Since December 21' she started by looking at me and laughing when something funny happened. She then started staring at me, Valentines (last year) she publicly asked me if I sent her a rose. (I didn't). And I was mortified so I said fuck no. And she the next day was on the verge of tears. She's gotten more close to me, so she teases me. And for example she put a lot of lotion on her hand a couple months ago, and she asked me if i wanted the lotion of her hand. She also laughs at my terrible jokes. All. The. Time. Since the situation, she's grown more closer to me. ",AITA for making a girl cry?,NTA -111cuyd,"My mom (73) is on the last days of her life. Naturally, myself and her siblings are discussing what comes next. My mother did not ANY of her wishes be known to any of us. Me being her daughter, wants to memorialize my mother immediately after her passing (within 2 weeks), as it is traditionally done. Her brothers, however, are all pushing for a service months from now for reasons that include, but not limited to:- Giving everyone enough time to plan to attend. - So people don’t have to travel in winter. - Because traditional services immediately after are often too sad. - Allows everyone enough time to grieve. But what is not being said, is that two of her bothers are on vacation. And although this is technically conjecture, I know that they don’t want to interrupt their vacation time for their sister.I am being made to feel guilty for wanting to hold a service to celebrate my mothers life right after her passing because “not everyone can make it.”“Putting off” funeral services is never something our family has done in the past for anyone else who has died. I have enthusiastically made the suggestion of TWO memorials to accommodate everyone’s “schedules” No one is on board with this idea and they all only want to have one service, and have it later when “everyone can attend”Am I the asshole for wanting services for my mother immediately following her passing, knowing it’s an inconvenient time for her brothers?",AITA for wanting to have funeral services when some people can’t attend?,NTA -111dld3,"I'm currently house and puppy sitting for my friends. We've known each other for years and I used to look after their old dog a lot and usually for long periods of time.They're not the only friends I've dog sat for, and once even temporarily fostered a friend's puppy for two months while she went through a difficult pregnancy and birth.They're away for nearly two weeks, I'm a few days into it and I'm already thinking about asking them to get someone else take over. This puppy is 8 months old and I don't think I can handle her.I won't go in to the dog's behaviour issues as I'm not looking for advice on training her, but what I want to know is if it would be a huge AH move to sit my friends down when they come back and explain that although I love them it's clear they've not done ANY training with this puppy.My suspicion is that it would make me the AH as I'm one of a small handful if people they trust to look after their dog AND no one likes hearing their beloved pet isn't easy to look after. Also, puppy is only 8 months old and twice the size of the puppies I've looked after before.A reason why I may not be an AH though is that she's a mix of two intelligent, high energy breeds and there's NOTHING to suggest they've been providing the dog with adequate enrichment. I've bought some new toys like a snuffle mat, something called a giggle ball, and some other puzzle toys. The toys they already had are literally a tennis ball and two chew toys.There are also a couple of other, non puppy related, issues I may need to bring up if they ever want me to house and puppy sit again.I really love my friends, and I was happy to help them out. They've fallen out with a couple of people over the last year or so, so I don't want them to feel like I'm leaving them behind as well - but I also don't want to be taken advantage in the future.Edited to correct a sentence and change possibly identifying details.",WIBTA If I told my friends their puppy is too badly behaved?,NTA -111uiaq,"I (31F) fully admit that in the past I'd have a bad habit of spoiling movies and tv shows for my roommate (29M) - I grew up in a family of movie and tv nerds and we like talking about the shows we watch, but since moving in with my roommate I've had to learn some people are very spoiler-adverse.My roommate is so spoiler adverse he doesn't even want to know if two characters will become friends later in a show.Current dilemma: There have been a few times when I spoiled something, he got annoyed/mad that I spoiled it because he claimed he was going to watch it, then a few months later said he'd forgotten and wasn't interested in watching it, which annoys me because then I feel like he gets mad at me for no reason.I began watching the current Australian Survivor series airing (I live in the U.S. but have been watching uploads online). My roommate really likes Survivor, though he hasn't watched in about a year or so, and I think he'd really like the season, so I told him a little about it to get him interested. To avoid spoiling him by accident, I asked when he'd watch the season. He said he'll watch it eventually, but not now, and that I can't talk about the show until then to avoid spoilers. He spends time watching a lot of other videos and whatnot, which is his choice, but I don't think it's fair to put an embargo on any conversation around a show he won't watch in the immediate future, only to then say months later he's not interested anymore.His opinion is that he doesn't have to watch anything on my timeline, which I agree with. However, if there's a show I'm watching and I may bring it up in conversation, he can't be mad at me for spoiling anything if he won't watch it now and if he can't give me a definitive timeline for when he will watch it. So now we're going in circles where he says I should respect his wish, and I say I do respect his wish, but he's gotta give me something to work with so that I don't mess up by accident.I understand I could simply ""not talk about the show"" but we are nerds with no lives who talk about work and shows and movies.Typing this out, I fully realize this is a very low-stakes issue, and also incredibly stupid, but we're in a situation where we both end up annoyed.So, AITA because I think I should be able to talk about a show that he doesn't want spoiled, but is currently making no effort to watch?",AITA for Expecting My Roommate to Watch a Film or TV Show When He Tells Me Not to Spoil It?,YTA -111608m,I have not previously had the money to buy my mother a birthday gift until this year. I got her favourite perfume and a box of chocolate because im still pretty broke and shes hard to buy for because nothing is ever good enough even though she always says she doesn't want anything at all and not to buy her anything. In the times she says something she wants its always hundreds of dollars of cookware or new furniture or things i just plain cant afford so i thought this would be a nice small gift she would like.Tonight i heard her on the phone because she often loudly discusses me negatively over the phone with her loser friend. I dont value her opinion and my mother and i have basically no relationship but it still annoys me to hear how lazy or useless i am or whatever else she has to say that day. Tonight she peeked at her gifts early and i heard her calling them cheap garbage and complaining i got the smaller size of the perfume and i only bought anything at all because it was on sale (it was but does that matter?) I think i want to just take my gifts back and give them to my friends but my mother has already seen it so i feel like i would be an asshole because she knows shes getting it and the gifts in fairness werent expensive.,WIBTA if i took back my mother's birthday gift?,NTA -111kjws,"For some context, I live with my dad and he has always been in my life (at least to my knowledge). I am 16f but we hit money troubles when we originally planned it but we now have some money saved so we're doing a small scaled one in March, to which my dad has contributed nothing, but my Mom has. My dad and mom both work two jobs, Mt dad has a full-time time job and apart-time time job, and my mom works two part-time time jobs. Originally my mom's jobs were for extra spending money, but she's helping some ends meet now. My dad and I got into a big fight a few weeks before New Year's. I had perceived the dishes as sitting there for 3 days, it used to be my chore but it's not anymore due to my school extracurriculars. I was upset because my dad had always blamed me for the roach problem we had when it was my chore before we moved, but now that my mom decided that it's ""everyone's responsibility"" it just sits there. He got mad that I was upset and I raised my voice, to which he yelled and got very physical. I called him a bare-minimum dad (he works from home a lot and right after work switches to his gaming PC and ignores me and my sibling's existence and gets mad easily when we bug him, especially my 4f sister) to which he threatened to kick me out. I went to my room, locked it, called my mom, and stayed there for a few days. He didn't apologize until new years eve, and even then he didn't apologize for what he said he just said ""We both said crappy things and it's time we get good again."" I had been playing nice and tolerating him, hoping for once he would apologize and he didn't. I don't want to dance with him, and I don't want to honor him. He was so quick to threaten to make me homeless (like he was as a kid) that it scares me. I already planned on moving out asap but this makes me want to speed up my plans. So WIBTA?",WIBTA if I don't dance with my dad at my sweet 16?,NTA -111u8n7,"My last roommate moved out without paying her share of rent or bills for the last month she lived here. I was left $500 high and dry. I am looking for a new roommate and this time considering asking for a security deposit in advance to moving in, in case I get flaked on again. But I feel like an asshole?x",AITA for asking for a security deposit from a new roommate?,NTA -111ik5v,I’ll preface this by saying that I know I am the asshole but I didn’t know what to do. So ever since first grade in elementary school I’ve had this friend. She lives in a foster home close by my house. As well as my first friend she was also my first bully. She would always talk shit about me to other people and make sure I never got any other friends. We fought all the time but always became friends again in the end. When we were starting middle school we were going to different schools and I took this opportunity to distance myself from her. She got a new best friend which I was happy for but when she tried to contact me i struggled with just opening her messages because in my brain if I just let it be long enough she would just give up on me. Well she showed up on my door. So in all of middle school we only hung out a few times and I kind of developed this ick for her. She is extremely straight and I was figuring out my sexuality. She hung out with the kind of people who tried bullying me. She also said some offensive things towards black people and gay people but yk it’s always just a joke. I am a pretty conflict shy and never confronted her about this which I definitely should have. We both moved away for high school to different boarding schools but both came home after first year. She had dropped out of school because of mental struggles and trouble with foster care. I am the only friend she had left at home because she lost everyone else for being shitty to them. She tried contacting me again and I’ve talked to her but it’s taking a toll on my own mental health just being around her so I did what I did before. Just left her on read. I am very shitty for leaving a person at the lowest point in their life but I can’t excuse her constant offensive behaviours. And if I try communicating all of this to her then I am sure I will be making everything so much worse for her.,AITA for ditching my friend at her lowest?,NTA -111u0e8,"My seven friends and I were planning a big vacation for eight weeks. One of the group members (let's call him Simon) didn't pay any of this and it's been many months since we paid all of it including their share with the understanding that they would wire their amount. For context, Simon has a lot of money ($100,000 car) and the travel expenses are around $10,000. Everyone else has long since played their part, except for Simon. This has happened about five times already, with Simon ignoring all messages, often while using items purchased for him for months without paying while pretending nothing happened. Last week I decided that enough is enough and told the group I will not be going on holiday when Simon comes and I will cancel his part of the accommodation/experience. This has now divided the group who were most annoyed with me for canceling his parts of the trip and two friends say they will only go if Simon comes.Some of my friends resent it but I just see it as not wanting to go on holiday with someone like that and if it divides the group then so be it.Am I the asshole?Edit: To clarify, I cancelled everything with no fee and everybody got their money returnedThe trip is around 6 months from now.",AITA for uninviting a friend on vacation,NTA -111emgs,"I (20F) am an only child. Dad (69M) is from a country in a different continent from where I live (approximately 8h away min by plane) and I grew up in my mothers (59F) country. My dad lived with us until i was in the 1st grade and then left for his country because of his job. In the span of 13 years he has visited 4 times (ages 11, 14, 16 and 17) and I say visited because during those times he would stay a month at most. I grew up w a virtual father figure and the money situation at home got worse every year. mom worked a job, wrote projects and maintained our house, raised me, cared for her mother. My father on the other hand probably cheated a gazillion times or had other kids and stayed in his country still. He used the fact he had to take care of his job and mother, but after her death and his retirement he doesnt even talk about coming home anymore. when i was 11, he invested in stocks and lost 300.000$ of his fortune, affecting my college fund and his retirement money.Now fast forward to today. My mother calls me saying she needs 1000$ to fix a mistake she made with a project that could potentially cause me jail time(bc my name is on the project) and that she asked my dad for it but he initially refused to give away that much money. My mother lashed out at him saying that thats not ok since she took care of me and spend much more money than he gave her to raise me. He told her yes but then he texted me saying i should loan some money from my friends to amount to that number, because he cannot send that much money. On top of that he reprimanded us for not knowing how to spend money wisely. I got super angry and sent him a long text saying how awful he is for asking me to be in debt, refusing to help me when it comes to an actual issue that could kill my future and give money to his “family”. I told him he is a manipulative man who gaslit and emotionally abused my mother her entire marriage and for never being there for her when she was going through tough times, i called him an insufferable salty old man for refusing to give her money. I also gave him an ultimatum that if he doesnt give my mother that money, i will cut contact with him and never speak to him again. On top of that, i told him how unhappy i am with him as my father, and that if he doesnt come out clean to me in the future months about what hes done with his life and come clean with the lies hes told us throughout the years, i will never try to fix our relationship. However i feel like i might have been harsh on him and that i went a little too far by insulting him. My friend said im the bad guy for disrespecting my parents who might die one day, that took care of me in the only ways they could and that this will haunt me if i dont ask for forgiveness and let bygones be bygones. i dont know whether or not i shouldve sent that text. Am i the asshole?",AITA i called my dad an insufferable salty old man for not giving 1000$ to my mom,ESH -111tt68,"I'm latin, so I apologize if my english isn't good enough. Btw this is a long story When I was at the first years of highschool I had a classmate named ""Mike"" and he was the stereotype of the quiet guy at the bottom of the classroom. He always went to school approximately the first two weeks every quarter, no exceptions, and then he left for the rest of the quarter and appeared again before the last two weeks. Mike never speaked to anyone unless he had a group work, and even in those situations he limited to speak just the necessary and didn't socialize. I just had one ""friendly"" chat with Mike before pandemic isolation, and he was kinda making fun of me because I'm very silly and don't recognize jokes easily, so he made me think that he believed moon is a star. I have never been mad about and I realized of it 2 years later (during pandemic isolation) and it was fun to me.The problem happened when Mike sent me a Facebook friendship solicitude, and I accepted because ""why not?"". We started talking through messenger for a while and I realized his likes were very similar to mine and my friends' (anime, videogames and stuff like that) so I decided to add it to our messenger chat group (which we almost not use because we rarely talk through messenger, but we were talking a little through it in that time). The thing didn't go very sweet at first because some of my friends didn't even know him or remember who he was which made Mike upset. It went very bad quickly because Mike started saying ""we never turned to look at him and become his friends because nobody cared about him"" and ""when he arrives, everyone get quiet"" and stuff like that. After he said that my friends were very upset and begun telling him it wasn't their fault and he had no right to come and begin to say it was our fault he had no friends.Mike got out from the chat group by himself and I felt guilty because that situation was my fault by trying to introduce him, even when I didn't know him good enough and I didn't know what was going to happen.I went to talk to him by private chat and kindly explained him why he was wrong to act like that, and he seemed to understand it very well. So we kept chatting rarely by messenger because as I said before, I use messenger very rarely.Then one day I commented one of his posts in Facebook and he replied me very agresively. When I asked him why he was that agresive to me and he told me that ""I had never cared about him so I wasn't able to be his friend"". Then I unfriended him and since then I know nothing about him.AITA because I never tried to be his friend before, because maybe he could have joined before to me and my friends and he hadn't end up alone without any friend, and because I got him into the chat group?I wanna add some info: He and his family are immigrants and they have already shifted the country they live thrice so he had not the chance to make any friend (If he even tried). And some of my friends and old classmates had a similar situation with him.","AITA because I ""ignored"" a highschool classmate and years later I tried to befriend him?",NAH -111lwu2,"I love the guy. We go way back, but musically speaking, he’s not cutting it. We had a gig last week and he was just having a real hard time keeping up and remembering our set, as well as overplaying and clamming on a lot of songs. He also has a real bad habit of caring too much about gear and other technical/aesthetic aspects than actually practicing. He’s a wonderful friend, but I just can’t really keep holding his hand through understanding how to fit into a band. The rest of the band gels really well, and he’s just the odd man out. I’ll be polite about it, but it’s definitely something that bugging me.",AITA for wanting to kick a homie out of my band?,NTA -111dzij,"Long story short - My friend and I went on vacation together and I didn't take any candid pics. All I had were the ones from the rides at the theme park. She waited four months after we got back and told me that I didn't care about her enough or appreciate anything she did because I didn't post enough pictures on social media of our vacation. (I had set my cover photo to one of our pics from a ride for nearly a month.) Now she's posting memes on facebook like ""I told you how I felt and you hurt me anyway"" and ""I let myself get hurt, but never again.""AITA for not taking pictures?",AITA for not posting pictures?,NTA -111hffe,"i became friends with this girl, i’ll call her A, at the beginning of this school year. We clicked together really well, and we became very close very quickly. So, A and I decided to sign up for an overnight school trip together. i used to be pretty public about my struggles with anorexia- i had an instagram account dedicated to documenting my recovery. eventually, A confessed to me that she also suffered a lot with disordered eating and anorexia. A does not have the privilege of having a therapist or an understanding family like i do, and because of this, she usually comes to talk to me instead about her struggles. at first she used to ask if she could vent, but now she sends me paragraphs upon paragraphs of triggering thoughts without asking or any heads up before hand. it breaks my heart to see her struggle, but i feel so burdened by all her texts. although i may have started my own recovery journey a while back, i still struggle a lot as well. i don’t know how to help her because i still can’t help myself. i find myself dreading opening messages from her, hating going out to eat with her because she will always find a reason not to eat and it makes me feel like shit for eating, and just in general wary of even being around her because all she will end up talking about is her struggles. heck, i can’t even open instagram or other social media without being worried because she tends to post things like “relapse is hitting hard” etc all the time. i feel like a shit friend/an asshole because i want to help her and she can be a great friend, but i just don’t know what to do. since the overnight trip i mentioned above is coming up, i am starting to get really anxious about it because honestly, i don’t want to spend a whole week with her if she’s just going to engage in eating disorder behaviors the whole time. i know it’s selfish, but seeing her engage in them makes me feel like shit: it makes me sad to see her be consumed by this disorder and it makes me want to relapse. would i be the asshole if i asked to change roommates?",WIBTA if i ask to room with someone else?,NTA -111dmpq,"Please be kind English is my third language . Me and my partner have been living together for a year, but we've known each other since high school. I had to work on myself because I have PTSD due to traumas from my childhood, everything was going well, until I learned that I was pregnant we decided not to tell anyone until the end of the first trimester, unfortunately we lost the baby at 11 weeks. It so happened that my mother-in-law started having problems with her partner and it was my boyfriend who had to take care of his sisters (F3 and F4) he started sleeping at his mother's he told me that it was temporary while his mother found a new apartment, the problem is that my boyfriend no longer sleeps at home sometimes once a week he doesn't have time for me and when I talk to him he tells me that his family is more important and that I have to agree to go after, because his situation is very difficult, I do not understand because his mother has moved but she has decided to work at night and her ex does not want to take care of her children, she says she can't let the children sleep at home alone but she has another one 17, I'm lost because I've always told my spouse since I was a child I never felt loved I don't want it to be the same in my relationship, but he always says I'm asking too much p I'm only 24 years old I don't want to miss the best years of my life. Here is the letter . Letter to my mother-in-law. I could never understand how a woman can raise a man to treat another woman like that, usually when you are a single mother you teach your son to respect and love your wife, me everything I got with your son it's suffering, he says that I don't deserve everything I ask for because the real woman in his eyes is you, he took my virginity, I carried two of his children whose one he asked not to keep, and yet in his eyes i am worth nothing, i wonder why he thinks you are a woman and not me, i wonder what it takes to be a woman ? Why does he tell me he loves me so when I point out that he treats me like shit he tells me that I don't deserve better, because in his eyes only one woman deserves to be treated well and that is you, yet every day he tells me that I am a good wife, because nothing is missing, ironic isn't it? Guess your breast milk is full of gold.",WIBTA IF I SEND A LETTER TOMYMOTHER-IN-LAW?,YWBTA -111t2by,"I f18 I am involved in my school's Associated Student Body, and I'm vice president. I graduated early in November, and this class is the only one I attend. I'm on a team of 5 (4 vps and one prez), and the position's responsibility is to maintain a positive culture in the class. Last semester, I was diagnosed with PTSD and missed ten days of class. I was open with him and my team about my mental health struggles and tried to maintain a sign of communication with him and the other members. &#x200B;I have missed three days of class this semester because of a stomach bug and a doctor's appointment (which I emailed him about). Today, he pulled me aside and told me I should drop his class because I couldn't maintain my responsibilities. He said that multiple people in ASB are coming up to him and telling him I'm not ""present."" &#x200B;I'm unsure what to do. I love this class more than anything, and I'm super surprised at him telling me that my peers are talking to him about me behind my back. There is one vp in the group who has always told me before that my not being in class is harmful, but she also rejects my attempts at face timing into a category and has not once texted me first. She may have been the one to talk to my teacher, so I texted her asking if there's anything I should be doing that I am not, but she hasn't responded. &#x200B;My teacher thinks I have senioritis and am completely done with high school, but that's not the case. I come to his class every day, grateful to be there and ready to do any work anyone asks of me.",AITA for missing 13 days of my high school class?,INFO -111suvc,"Ok so I’ll try to keep this short I (f19) recently moved out with my boyfriend (m19) and things started out great but now not so much. There were a lot of things we talked about before moving out in regards to keeping the place clean and organized and he was super in bored telling me “I want you to help me get cleaner and more organized” it’s been a month now and he puts in no effort. So I’m more frustrated with him generally because I feel like I’m doing all the work, at first it was because he was working 12 hour days at his film job so I wasn’t on him about doing any chores cause I knew his plate was so full. Now he’s between jobs and does literally nothing all day but play video games. Some examples of stuff that make me a upset: so we’ve been here for a month already and he has never once does the cat litter (I do it everyday/every other day), the first time he did laundry was two days ago, and if he drops something while cooking he just doesn’t pick it up. That too, he hasn’t cooked one meal that isn’t KD instant noodles or frozen chicken nuggets. So I brought it up the other night because it’s really weighing on me now and he said that he doesn’t feel that it’s ever that dirty or that I’m hurting his feelings when I say he’s not helping because he just did the laundry or that my standard of clean is just higher than his. All of those things aren’t exactly easy to counter but it’s all opinion based so I feel like maybe I’m just wrong and that I should be so “anal” about the little things like crumbs on the floor or dirty counters. So am I the asshole for asking for a cleaner apartment?",AITA for wanting a clean apartment?,NTA -111ko7r,"Hi guys, first post here:So today i am a bit mad. My wife (i love her very much) is the reason.Today i went to another city for work. The whole day. She worked at her usual place, also almost the whole day. During the day she felt bad and i used the spare time i had to try to cheer her up with texts. In the evening she went bouldern with friends (i normally would join but i couldnt make it back on time). Then we went to a pub quiz as we sometimes do on mondays. Here is where the first kinda annoying thing starts: she changed her mind about going there like 3 times in the afternoon. So it totally blew off my planing of the evening several times and i already had problems with the train company for my ticket back.Well, we went and went early. We usually go early, because she doesnt want to sleep late and i think that is the right call.On the way home i saw her back light of the bike didnt work. I told her. Next thing she did is drive very carelessly in front of a car. Nothing happend, but i kinda snapped. I feel like today i very much did my best to cater to her needs and then she seemed to be so careless with herself. I just feel a bit underapreciated with what i did. So i shouted to her to be more careful while we drove, tried to fix it on the spot but she went on and i shouted to her to not be so careless. She then said that if she died from a car it wouldnt be my fault. That really stinged, because i love her and cant even think about loosing her. So i shouted at her to not treat me like that, because she should not undervalue our relationship.Well, now i feel bad for shouting. She is in the shower rn, guys, AITA here?Edit:Thanks for your input. I did apologize for yelling, as i immediatly thought it is not the right reaction. Thanks for making it clear that my reaction was way to harsh.For the people suggesting therapie or making asumptions on our whole relationship: we do actually talk very much and went to therapy together. This day was not the norm and we usually communicate better. Today we didnt have the chance to catch up about each others feelings so i went overboard.",AITA for getting kinda mad?,YTA -111so44,So I’ve (m 17) been friends with this guy (m 18) ever since 8th grade. The dudes been like my brother and we’ve gotten each other through so much stuff. Now I’m going to college 8 hours away from my hometown and I asked him if he would make the trip to visit me and he told me no. That didn’t really sit well with me and after consulting with some of my other friends they suggested I talked to him. He told me that he values his me time and doesn’t like to be bothered outside of school. I know this is partly a lie because after school he’s almost always is on discord with our mutual friends and he’ll also hang out with his other friends. Even after I told him how much this hurt me he said “I’m not the right person to look to for this sorta thing” and idk that made me feel like he’s blaming me for choosing to be his friend. Now I wasn’t asking for him to visit me every weekend on the drop of the hat. I just wanted him to come up like once or twice after we planned all the logistics out. Some people say that I’m treating him like a boyfriend because “he’s not giving you attention” and others say that I’m not sensitive to his personality. So tell me what you think!,AITA for wanting to hang out with my friend?,YTA -111sm2w,"So a year ago I was having trouble setting up my bank account and my mom helped me, we figured everything out but just so I don’t worry about where I put my checks I put them in my moms account, awhile has passed and I finally have my own card and bank account. I ask her if she can give me back my money now that I have an account and she says no because I’ll be irresponsible with my money, but I think I have the right to use my money however I want. I wanted my money mostly because I want to get some things for my boyfriend for Valentine’s Day. But whenever I bring up getting my money back she says no or to give her a good reason why she should.Edit: I live with her without paying rent and we’re in a rented house with my 3 other siblings and my working dad",AITA For asking for money from my mom?,NTA -111nn5r,I like to sketch in my free time and a lot of my male drawings look like my ex… which sounds really creepy but I used him as inspiration for a few characters of mine before we even dated so…My friends saw the drawings and they mentioned it in front of my ex and his fiancée. He already knows so he just joked about how handsome I must think he is but his fiancée got really angry about it and said I was a creep and that I needed to stop. I told her I wasn’t going to so now she hates me and doesn’t want him to be my friend anymore.AITA?,AITA for using my ex’s face for my sketches?,YTA -111sg55,"So I have a coworker we were “friends” until a work party in which she got upset because I told her to grab a drink, she initially asked me to pour her some but she already had wine in her cup and even after I asked if she wanted me to pour it over her wine she got all butt hurt, after that we get in the car with another coworker/ friend she starts talking about the situation and me like I’m not in the car maybe my tone was off not sure because I didn’t think much of it because I thought I had clarified why I told her to get a drink. They were FREE. About a month back we were all drunk and apparently I broke her couch. I don’t remember, and I told her I would go ahead and set up getting her a new couch. After ignoring my attempts at talking to her like an adult and friend, today she sends me a screenshot of a couch talking about im trying to get it as soon as possible; mind you I had been asking her what couch she wanted for 2 weeks before the lil company party situation. AITA If I put her couch as last on my list since she wants to talk to me like Im a child/ beneath her cause she was butthurt. Won’t even have a conversation like an adult; but can text me about a couch.",WIBTA No friendship/ No couch,YWBTA -111dacd,"So in the morning I usually don’t eat, I drink coffee and wait a while however this morning I woke up a tad bit hungry. My mom turned on the tv and we agreed on a new show to watch, while she was clicking on it I was in the kitchen grabbing a coffee drink and just staring and searching for something appealing to eat as per usual. That’s when my mom asked “how long will it take” this doesn’t effect me and I simply don’t care about this question since easy stuff only takes a few minutes. Nonetheless I took the route of coffee and chocolate truffles. I grab them and go sit by my mom when she suddenly asks where my food is, I tell her that I didn’t feel up to it and she starts to get upset thinking that I didn’t cook something because of her asking how long it’d take. Now she’s all upset even though I literally explained her question had nothing to do with what I decided I wanted to shove down my own throat. She’s been calling me the asshole and I want second opinions, AITA?",AITA for not eating after I said I wanted to?,NAH -111eevk,"For context, my SIL (my husband’s sister) is close to both my mom and my dad & step mom. And SIL got a new house during Summer 2022.My parents have always been civil and gotten along since their divorce when I was young. But they don’t go out of their way to attend the same events as each other. So sometimes we do stuff with my mom and sometimes we do stuff with my dad and step mom. My mom overheard a conversation that made her aware that my SIL is having a superbowl party and that my dad and step mom were invited. I didn’t think much of it because we always do stuff with her too. Well just right before the game started, my mom text me saying “I hope you have fun at the superbowl party, and I hope your dad and step mom have fun too…” with a follow up text that said “just a jab to remind you that I’ve never been invited to their house.”My dad and step mom had also never been invited to her house since she just moved in last summer. I thought my mom was totally understanding of the position my SIL was in being equally close to both of them and she and I just chose to invite my dad. But my mom sending those texts brought me down and I felt like it was spiteful and she wanted to make me feel bad.I did not reply and we did not talk for the rest of the night and neither one of us have talked to each other since she sent those texts. I know it’s only been a day, but my mom and I text/talk all day pretty regularly. So AITA for inviting my dad to my sister-in-laws superbowl party and not inviting my mom?",AITA for inviting my dad to my sister-in-laws superbowl party and not inviting my mom,NTA -111hkl1,"&#x200B;Super long story and it's all in the past anyway, I'm just curious about others' opinions.(All fake names)In high school I (F) was in this friend group of 5 people. Abby (F), Jesse (M), Lucas (M), and Elijah (M).me and Lucas have known each other for almost 7 years at this point and I think of him like my little brother. as he grows up his personality changes more and more and he treats me differently than he used to. Hes a lot meaner and more judgmental towards me and it really affects and hurts me a lot. we have a complicated relationship, and enough crap happens (whole other story) that I just don't want to be around him anymore as it makes me really upset and uncomfortable.I confide in Abby all the things Lucas has done to me and why I'm so hurt by him, I tell her I'm not comfortable having Lucas around at all. She doesn't seem to agree that anything Lucas has done is bad and continues to invite him over or invite him to places she also invites me. Abby says ""well Hes never done anything to me."" This isn't the first time Abby has done something like this, about 2 years prior to this I went through a really awful breakup with a guy who was really mean to me and caused a lot of damage. I told Abby about the breakup and how upset I was but then she continued to be friends with him and invite him to her house and post stories with him.All of these actions and a bunch of other small ones begin to pile up and I become very frustrated with Abby. I'm feeling hurt by how Shes treating me because it doesn't seem like she values me or our friendship. I'm in the car alone with Elijah and Abby's sister Jenna (who I was very close with and trusted) and I begin to vent about all this. I tell them everything Shes done to me and how it hurt me and granted I probably came off pretty intense and harsh because I was so hurt.I leave for college, and everything is okay-ish. then I get put in a text group chat because Elijah wants to ""fix"" things and make things go back to how they were.Abby sends a bunch of texts about how her sister told her I was ""talking shit"" about her and that she can't believe I would do something like that to her and that I'm a horrible friend. she never wants to associate with me or Elijah ever again. Jesse also chimes in and says that was a super fucked up thing for me to do.AITA for talking shit? was I being selfish? did I ruin everything?",AITA for talking shit about my friends?,NTA -111e68s,"I (f42) have been very sick for the last month with side effects from switching my anxiety meds. My friend (m32) offered to stay with me and help me out till I’m better. I offered to let him drive my car while he’s here cause his is in very rough shape. Figured it would be nice for him. A couple weeks into staying here he starts “needing” to drive his coworker (f20) home a couple times a week. I wasn’t thrilled cause the age difference and he’s in a supervisory role at their work. I think it could cause issues for him. But his life, his business. I kept my mouth shut. We went to run errands last night after work and I tried to plug my phone in to listen to music. It wouldn’t work cause this girl idk and have never met had deleted MY phone out of MY CarPlay so she could put hers in. I had a rough day and was very emotional at the time, he knew that. I got mad said “why the fuck is xxx deleting my phone to plug hers in?!” No apology. After that I went very quiet for a few hours to calm down before addressing the issue, I didn’t want to say mean things in anger. After a few hours I was calming down and getting ready for bed. I texted him to tell him why I was angry and I didn’t want this girl in my car. Now he’s mad that I didn’t tell him right away that I was mad( but I did) and he’s upset I won’t let this girl in my car. Also, Still no apology. AITA?",AITA for banning someone from being in my car and taking a few hours to calm down before discussing the issue with my friend?,NTA -111jdy8,"I (27M) live with my fiancee 'Lil'.We cook a lot at home and sometimes when we run out of storage containers we have to get creative with food storage and will use other containers, so our fridge usually has a few containers with unexpected contents.Lil and I work from home but sometimes Lil has to go on site for work. Today she had a halfday morning on site.Usually we have a smoothie for breakfast, but since she had to leave, she said last night that she would make a smoothie, take some to go, and then leave me some.Most mornings we just make the smoothie and eat it like a smoothie bowl, and add some toppings like PB and nuts.This morning I woke up when Lil had already left. I had a text from her saying that she left me some smoothie, and asked if I could take the ground beef out of the fridge to defrost for dinner.When I got downstairs, I didn't see any ground beef in the fridge, so I texted her to ask where it was.There was a smoothie thermos container in the fridge with some pink goo in it, so I assumed it must be the smoothie, even though we usually serve those in a bowl and chill them in the freezer beforehand.I tried the smoothie and it didn't taste very good, but I knew Lil was in a hurry that morning so I blended it again and added some PB and protein powder. It still didn't taste great, but it wasn't awful and it wasn't a huge deal.A few minutes later, I started feeling sick. While I was puking my guts out, I saw Lil text back, saying that the ground beef was in a thermos.When she got home, I was feeling terrible and had been spewing from both ends all day. I got upset with Lil and said she shouldn't be storing meat in a smoothie container. I yelled at her and said it was unsafe and confusing.She was hurt and said that she left the smoothie in a bowl in the freezer like always, and that I should have recognized it as ground beef, or at least checked before eating it and that it wasn't her fault I got sick.AITA for getting upset about this? I can't beleive she would store meat in a thermos, and of course I was confused. I yelled at her that it was unsafe and then went to take a nap, we havent spoken since. EDIT: For everyone asking how I could have mistaken it for a smoothie - this was ground beef that had been pureed in a blender and seasoned (Lil made it that way for a specific recipe and then we had some leftover so she froze it).It did not look like normal ground beef and because of the seasonings we added, it had little chunks of red in it, that looked like the strawberry chunks in our usual smoothies. I'm very groggy in the mornings so I didn't look too closely. ",AITA for yelling at my fiancee for storing raw beef in a smoothie container?,YTA -111rlgo,"this is an admittedly small and petty issue, but it's causing intense discord between us and we agreed reddit is an objective enough third party to settle who's in the wrong.my brother (16m) and i (24f) both have iphones, so all our chargers are compatible. we have many cables, that may vary in their port (usb, usb-c) but besides that, they are all white, and all have the same iphone ending. i no longer live in the same household as my brother, but i visit and stay over frequently to help out around the house. this morning, after showering in our mother's ensuite shower (most convenient shower since the other is in the hallway), my brother left his charger on my mother's bed. the night before, i slept on that bed since after moving out, my brother decided to take over my room as well as his, so i couldn't sleep in my old bed (this is a non-issue). as i left for my place, i saw an iphone charger on top of the ready-made bed i'd slept in and, thinking it was mine, put it in my bag before i left.this evening i came over to help him wrap a valentine's day gift, and he asked if i'd taken his (only) charger. after a few exchanges, it became obvious i'd taken his charger. i didn't bring it with me (left it at my home) since i brought a different (slower, usb) charger, and my brother's upset he doesn't have his charger.he thinks i shouldn't have taken something that wasn't mine, that he leaves it there every morning (i wouldn't know since i am not here most mornings) and that i have to check whose things things are before i take them. my argument is that he shouldn't leave his things in other people's places (especially when he occupies 2/3 rooms in the household) and that since all chargers look the same, i shouldn't be expected to know whose is whose.aita for taking my brother's charger? i have lent him my charger meanwhile.addendum (per my brother's request): the plugs are different, they are all white and roughly-square looking (albeit different dimensions) but the metallic plugs stick out from different sides.",AITA for taking my brother's charger and leaving him charger-less?,NTA -111rhul,"So, my (24 F) BIL (44 M) is married to my sister (26 F) for 1 and a half year. Today we were out in a restaurant and while having fun he said something like ""I have trained my wife to have honour like a man"". Playfully I told him that if my sister is a man that makes him kind of gay. He got really angry and started telling me I am not allowed to imply anything about his manhood. This triggered me because for me being gay is not an insult and should not be considered one. So I kept insisting that it's my right to call him whatever I like. He got really angry, started yelling, send the food back and announced dinner is over. As he got up to pay for the bill my sister told me she is really upset because I deliberately upset her husband. I explained that I only joked at the start but after that it was his behaviour that made me double down. As we left he went to his car and me and my sister had a brief argument outside as to who was right. She kept blaming me and I kept insisting I should not watch my words because her husband is homophobic. As I got home, around 10 minutes later I send a message to my sister apologising not for my actions but my behaviour since it is never my intention to insult someone.After 45 minutes I got an answer that they refuse to accept my apology as I was the asshole.I don't think I was but I decided to ask a bigger audience if my actions were so insulting?",AITA for calling my BIL gay ?,ESH -111qt2j,"I (17F) and my friend S (18F) are both on a film and tv course in college and this is our second and final year. S is a very controlling person and we were put in a group together along with two other students. I don’t particularly like S sometimes as she is incredibly hard to work with. Everything has to be done her way and no one can interfere with her work, because of this I was very close to failing this project which is an awful look for me as I am getting very close to my Final Major Project. She kept all the information to herself and wouldn’t allow the rest of the group to work on really anything. Her ignorance caused me a lot of problems and so I went to one of my teachers about it. Apparently the other two members of our group had mentioned the same problem to this teacher but I know that I will be teased about this by our classmates and that when S finds out she will get angry at me. The teacher said he would talk to S and try and sort this out but it’s a bit too late now considering we’ve gotten the grades back for this project. Throughout the whole thing I was putting up a fight but she just wouldn’t listen and now because of her my grades have suffered for it.",AITA for blaming my friend for my one bad grade?,NTA -111ll3c,"I am a smaller YouTuber with 3k subscribers who does a variety of content. I have a plush series that’s getting a revival with a new cast due to the fact the old crew left. I picked two other people to help me one being Friend 1 (F1) from middle school and the other is Friend 2 (F2) of my old co-workers at my old job.We made plans several times to film with F1 but he would keep canceling on us for various reasons at the last minute. The first time, we understood, I won't go into why because it was a personal affair but the rest of the times he would say he was coming and ditch on us were not good at all as he led us on with his avaliability. When we started this whole thing, I got both of their avaliabilites and we started planning out everything. F2 had no issue communicating with me and F1 I was willing to work with for a while because he would say days he's avaliavle on and then all of a sudden not be avaliable despite telling us he was off from work and college. F2 is also in college but was still able to find time to come over to my house to film. All those times he did it it would be ""I have work"" despite telling us he was off that day and other things, it feels like he led us on for his avaliability like I said before.One day we were all ready to film, and I kept asking F1 the night before if he was really coming over, and had people on the call to witness him saying that he was avaliable for sure. The next morning it turned into ""probably, I have exams for a few hours"" this was something he never mentioned to me whatsoever so I was confused, because F2 told me colleges would announce exams prior to when they release. He assured me that he would still come over, and kept saying ""probably"" meaning likely to come over, and the scheduled time was after when he said he'd be done.F2 came over and almost couldn't come over, and F1 then says when we call him ready to film that he still was doing exams and moments later messages the group chat saying ""sorry guys I'm not gonna be avaliable for a few months"" and that he wasn't even home to begin with. Which might be a lie cause I'm sure colleges take your phones when you do exams, though I'm not sure there. Me and F2 were livid over this because he wasted both of our time setting up everything and getting ready to film that day only for him to bail on us. He lies and says that he said it was a ""slight chance"" he could come over and never mentioned the exams to me at all. We call him out and saying he needs to tell us these things and that if he didn't wanna do this, to say something.Had I known he wasn't gonna be home, I wouldn't have planned this at all, and then he claims that it was all my fault for giving him a major role in the first place. While I did do that, I did it cause I thought he was truly gonna not pull this type of thing and waste everyones time, we found a replacement quickly though.So, AITA?P.S. We didn't cut contact after this.",AITA For Firing My Friend?,NTA -111dw17,"My mom (55) has recently came to visit me (23F) in my home.Prior to her visit, I told her that when she's here she has to be careful with my cat as I won't be able to take time off off work. She got mad, saying she isn't stupid and doesn't need rules. This was before she arrived.She arrived 3 days ago and was to stay for 4 weeks.Yesterday, we went out and had a great time. We got home with our bags but there was one in the car so I asked my BF if he could he get it. We had bought some snacks, so she opened one of them in the kitchen. I called her to the bedroom to try on some stuff we bought, meanwhile my bf came back and immediately yelled ""NO"". I ran out and saw a chunk of chocolate in my cats mouth.I jumped on him and bf grabbed it out of his mouth. I panicked as he is a kitten and it was so much chocolate if he had been able to eat all of it. I said ""he's just a dumb cat he doesn't know, we gotta be careful"" to her. Verbatim I returned to the bedroom and saw her packing her bags. she told me that I had become mean and that chocolate won't kill him. Confused would be an understatement. she didn't let me talk, was yelling. I had no idea wtf was going on. I said ""lets talk"" which set her off. she was saying she wishes she was dead instead and that I will be happy when she leaves. At one point she said ""get the hell out"" to which I replied ""out of where, this is my bedroom"", she lost it after that. Hurtful words were exchanged, then she started telling me she would hurt me (hit me) and no one could save me from her. That's when I dropped it. Next morning, I woke up to her crying. I went out and tried talking to her again. She started accusing me of saying things I never said. ""you told me to leave, you are kicking me out"" I had no idea who this person was. She kept saying how she's going to die and I'll be happy. She says she's leaving tomorrow. Some fam called me to tell me that she has been excited for this trip and I should just take it.I am confused as to what happened that took us to this point and she refuses to tell me exactly what set her off, says ""I did this to her"" and ""looked at her with disgust"". I tried explaining that I was panicked as he ate something bad not too long ago and I spent hours in the emergency VET and I was not blaming her. She says she will cut me off (granted in the heat of the fight I had said that if she cuts the trip short I would not talk to her). As soon as she goes home I know she will tell everyone I have ever known that I am a terrible child. BF says she was acting scary and that I should cut her off, for me and my mental health. He says she should have took responsibility for a dangerous situation and not escalate it, especially since I was not angry at her at all just panicked. After hearing her say how she doesn't have much time left in this world and how I'll be happy once she's gone I feel guilty and don't know what I could have done, I even offered therapy together. AITA?",AITA for telling my mom to not leave chocolate where cat can get it?,NTA -111hvv6,"My (26F) entire family lives abroad. My sister (30F) is coming to visit on Friday for 10 days. She’s going through a rough time that I particularly don’t want to get into online so my parents have told me I need to be particularly nice to her during her trip. We usually don’t get a long that well. Anyways, my parents want me to pick her up from the airport. She arrives at noon on Friday. I’m a grad student but I mostly do research from 9-5. Our department states that we need permission to take time off work. My advisor is particularly strict when it comes to taking time off work so I usually restrict my days off to emergencies or doctors visits. She’s arriving at LAX which is a 40 minute drive at best if there’s no traffic. Since I know I’ll get in trouble if I’m even a minute late, or if I don’t have snacks for her, I’m gonna have to leave early. I also have to take her from her hotel to our local airport to pick up her rental car so I’d basically have to take the majority of the day off. The issue is that I already have Monday off for President’s Day (we’re automatically given federal holidays off) and I was going to ask for part of Wednesday off because I was supposed to go get my Invisalign at my orthodontics office. They said it’s an hour long appointment and I booked it in the afternoon. They’re booked up so I’d probably have to wait another 3 weeks for the next appointment (When I made the appointment, they said the next available was mid-March and that was a month ago). It’s not that big of a deal but I was really hoping to start the treatment ASAP, especially since I’m on a payment plan that starts on March 1st. I don’t really want to be paying for something that I don’t have yet. I just know that if I take Friday off, my advisor isn’t going to be happy if I ask for Wednesday off as well so I’m going to have to choose between the Friday or Wednesday. My parents are already mad that I’m reluctant to pick her up. Her airline offers a private driver to drop her off but its $315. My parents are saying that she’s already paying for a hotel and rental car so the least I could do is pick her up. I just don’t think I should have to re-arrange my daily life for her vacation. I also know my parents wouldn’t be demanding her to do the same for me if I were in her position. AITA if I don’t pick her up?",AITA for not wanting to pick up my sister at the airport?,NTA -111f5fc,"So I (45f) used to work with this lady (43?) 5 years ago, we kinda kept in touch. Last week she messaged me asking for help. I was like ok then she asked if she could borrow 300$. I didn't say yes right away thinking this might be hacker but she video chat with me to show me it her she promise she will pay me back next morning so I confirm she really gonna pay me back she swear she will..so I agree lend her 300 then later thar night she message me again asking gor 500 more I said no I couldn't afford it thst she took my pay check.. she was like I will keep begging you, im going to jail, I need to get out of my apartment I still said no, she kept asking .. she never paid me back.. so today I'm gonna go to where she works and confront her and demand she pay me back afterall she had money to go to dance and buy new clothes..so would I be asshole if I confront her?",WIBTA confronting a girl who owes me?,NTA -111f241,"Myself and a friend [M20] moved to another town for college about 3 hours away from our hometown. Whenever we are back home (usually every 3-4 weeks for a couple days) I will give him lifts to the gym, when we go on nights out with other friends and generally whenever he needs a hand getting around town. He does not have a license and would probably walk or cycle 45 mins to an hour to all these places if i didn’t help out. I don’t own my car and borrow from a family member when i’m home and as such I can not drive in our college town.The issue here surrounds a conversation a couple days ago, he says that he has not seen me at the gym regularly and I have not been training properly (we both compete in amateur mma) and won’t accept my excuse that I have no way of getting half way across a big city with poor and expensive public transit. He gets rides from another guy that he is friends with. I have met this guy on a few occasions but we are not close. I told my friend he would probably see me more if he could help me arrange a lift and he told me I was acting entitled. help me out here reddit who’s in the wrong.",WIBTA to ask for a ride,NTA -111uaj9,"Bf and I live in different cities and neither of us can drive so we rely on public transport. There's a direct metro that links my area to his city centre, but then he lives on the outskirts of the city which is not near a metro station so to get to his house from the city centre you have to get a bus. As a result of this, we use both buses and the metro system very regularly.I have pretty severe social anxiety and because of this and an incident on a bus when I was younger, getting onto a bus and speaking to the driver for a ticket is literally one of my biggest nightmares. I used to avoid using the bus at all costs but now that I'm with bf I have no choice but to use it regularly. To make it easier for me, when bf and I are getting on the bus together bf just buys both of our tickets so I don't have to speak. So to make it fair, when we use the metro system I buy both our tickets. It's just easier to do it that way as 2 metro tickets and 2 bus tickets are around the same price so it cancels it out rather than me having to keep track and pay him back for the bus.However, more recently the buses have put their ticket prices down for a temporary period. They can't charge more than £2 per person, regardless of where you're going. So everytime we get a bus, bf is paying £4, but then when we get a metro I'm paying almost £7.I know £3 isn't a lot but I'm out of work due to illness and prices are constantly going up for everything, I'm trying to save anything I can.Would I be TA if I asked my bf for an extra pound or two when we get the metro? I know he's already paying my bus ticket so I don't want to seem greedy, but if we're getting the metro a couple times a week, that's around £24 per month extra I'm paying than him.",WIBTA if I asked my bf to give me money for train tickets?,NTA -111h80s,"I (28F) am getting married in june this year. I haven’t been living with my parents for over ten years, left their home when I went to college. I have two siblings we’ll call Sam (25M) and Sarah (23F) who still live with my parents. Sarah started her own business just before COVID hit. She’s working really hard and is doing okay for herself, but isn’t able to afford her own home just yet. Sam had a pretty good job and gets payed more than me. Sam is not motivated to move out because he now spends all his money on alcohol, cigarettes, drugs an fancy clothes and knows that ends when he has to pay rent and food. For the past year he hasn’t worked and still has his salary because we live in a country where you still get paid your regular salary for two years even when you’re ill. He has been dealing with some mental issues, which is why he originally stopped going to work. But for the past few months he started doing drugs and going out on a regular basis. So for him not ‘being able to work’, but being able to party when he wants really started to annoy me, especially when he contributes nothing to the family. I think I do more in the house when visiting, than he does while living there.Sams mental health issues had really been putting a strain on the family dynamics for a long time, but it’s been getting worse for the past year. It has become an unliveable situation for Sarah to live at home. Everything revolves about Sam. He lies, manipulates, steals and doesn’t take care of himself. My parents disagree about what to do with him. My father is threatening to move him out when he continues his drug use, but my mother disagrees, so while he still uses drugs, he is never facing the consequences. Together with my fiancé we discussed that we would not be inviting him for our wedding if he continues to make poor life decisions and doing drugs. We discussed that with my parents too and they understood. So we brought this news to Sam when he was sober for a couple of weeks during the holidays. The choice was his. If he started using again, he would not be invited to our wedding. Right after the holidays when they got back home, Sam started using again. So when we sent out our wedding invitations last week, there was none for him. Now here is the thing, I just got in a huge discussion with my mom, because she thinks it’s not fair that he’s not invited to our wedding. She feels like she is punished for having to take care of my brother and not letting all of her kids be there that day. worries about how it will look to others that he’s not going to be there. She even said that me not inviting him to my wedding might trigger him to use more drugs. Apparently even my father agrees that it’s to harsh to not invite him at all.So, am I the asshole?",AITA for not inviting my brother to my wedding,NTA -111p3um,"I (39f) work in a job that requires a lot of project management detailed discussions. Mostly I track with PM software of course but I also take notes for other details that don’t go in the plan. I’m getting older and I have a disability (multiple sclerosis) which I’ve been noticing is starting to impact my memory. I have a reputation for having a great memory so the fact that I’m starting to slip is not only freaking me out in general, but I don’t want people at work to notice me slipping up because I’m a really good employee. I don’t want my challenges and disability to be common knowledge either. There’s a pen called Echo pulse. As you write on the coded paper, the pen records the audio as you’re writing. You can touch the pen to a word and it will take you back to whatever was being discussed when you wrote it. It would really help me keep track of what is discussed. I know I need to ask permission to record people, not record if they decline and I would stop recording if anything confidential is discussed. I don’t want to buy this and try it if it’s seen as weird or creepy. I’m afraid people will agree but then be uncomfortable. I don’t want to tell people the reason I need to do this cause I don’t want people to know about my disability. WIBTA even suggesting this and cause people to be uncomfortable? If you think it would be ok, what’s a way you’d prefer to be asked?UPDATED: thank you all for the advice. It helped me feel more comfortable knowing it wouldn’t look weird. I’d rather not go to HR because my last company knew I had MS. They always made me feel like I had to prove myself because I went on intermittent FMLA to cover doctors appointments and infusions. Yes I know that’s bs. I resigned because I realized how toxic that workplace was. They had to replace me with 2.5 FTEs. They ran me ragged. I think I’m just worried about being looked at differently. I’ve also given up my handicapped license plate due to getting screamed and threatened in parking lots. If only park there on bad days. After the 4th time, I just stopped. I’ve just learned to hide.",WIBTA for recording conversations at work?,NTA -1114jb8,"My best friend of 2 years comes to me for advice and support quite often. Whether it be something minute and miniscule, or something major. I gladly help him most of the time, but one topic of advice he asks for that I'm tired of helping with is him wanting to break up with his boyfriend of 9 months. He has come to me with that topic, asking me on what he should do regarding how he should go about it, and everything of the sort. However, no matter what, and no matter how much he tells me he wants to leave his boyfriend, he just can't bring himself to leave.This is the third time he's come to me for help with that situation. This time telling me that his feelings about the relationship he has with his boyfriend changed, and he wants to leave. He literally asked me to write a letter to his boyfriend that summarizes his feelings about it. I literally started having a panic attack writing that letter for him because I was worried if he was going to be okay, emotionally speaking, after his relationship ended.After writing that letter for him, he told me that he was going to get it over with and break up later that day. Only for him to tell me that he decided to stay again, and that both he and his boyfriend don't see their relationship as long-term. Their reasoning for staying together confused me, but if he wants to stay for however long they have left, so be it, I'm not going to stop him.If he wants to stay, that is 100%, perfectly fine. If he's happy about it, then I am. What I'm not happy about is, at this point, it feels like he just can't help himself out of a situation, comes to me, asks me for help, and then just disregards everything I say. It ends up putting me through the stress of advising him on what to do, helping him the best I can, and being a shoulder to cry on, and then it just feels like my time was wasted, and everything I did to help him was just thrown in the trash.I don't give him unsolicited advice, I don't pry at his relationship, or anything of the sort. He comes to me and asks me for help. Most times, I am more than happy to offer a helping hand. With this subject on the other hand, I feel like I can't keep helping him with that anymore. I get that friends are supposed to help each other, care for each other, and support one another.Despite that, it feels like my time is being wasted, and I'm getting put through unnecessary stress regarding that situation if all he's going to do is stay with his boyfriend at the end of the day, no matter how much he asks for my advice and help. Part of me wants to tell him that I don't want to help him through his relationship troubles, but at the same time, I feel like I would be a bad friend if he came to me again about that situation and I told him I don't want to help. WIBTA if I told him to stop asking me for advice or help with that situation?",WIBTA if I told my friend to stop asking me for advice and help on his relationship?,NTA -111iwf9,"I've (39M) been together with my partner (40M) for about 9 years.In my late teens through to my early 30s I played a lot of roleplaying games. In the past year or so I've gotten back into it and we host a Dungeons and Dragons game every other weekend. It's sort of awakened a love for these kinds of games in me that I haven't felt in a long time. My partner is enjoying D&D because he loves dungeon crawling video games and collecting magical loot. Lately though I have been wanting to play another game called Vampire the Masquerade. It's different from D&D in that it is focused more on personal horror and social politics compared to the hack and slash D&D. I've talked to my partner about it and he has no interest in playing the game. If he didn't want to play I could always organize a game myself online and play through Discord or something. I would be playing with strangers online since I don't know many (if any) local friends who want to spend their evenings pretending to be an angsty vampire.Here is the problem:When he moved in with me, his family all completely disowned him. Even his own twin brother completely cut my partner out of his life. Without getting into specifics, I can say that his upbringing was so bad that he has been diagnosed with PTSD because of it and neither he nor his brother had any friends outside of the family. They didn't even contact him when his own mother was in the hospital dying of cancer until she had literal hours to live so he could rush there and say his goodbye. We didn't even know she was sick.Since he was completely alone except for me, he really latched onto me. Because of the clinginess we haven't really done much apart from each other since we've been together.When I brought up doing this game myself without him he got a little upset and said he would be lonely without me. I said he could of course play too, but he doesn't want to. I told him that while I play he could engage in one of his hobbies, like drawing, painting, video games, reading, whatever. He said it's hard to do things without me being around.I think it would be healthy for us to do our own thing, but I'm worried it will really hurt him if I go ahead with this plan without his blessing. He said it would make him feel left behind, and I don't want to cause him any pain considering all of his trauma and I am his primary social contact. I keep bringing it up gently, but when I try and get him on board with it he either avoids it or just says it will make him feel upset and lonely.I know I'm never going to get a solid answer out of him, and I'm worried that if I press ahead with this plan it will re-trigger some of his abandonment trauma. WIBTA if I went ahead and organized this game?extra info: He is seeking medical support for his PTSD and is on a waitlist for services. There is currently a mental health crisis in my country and accessing care of any kind can take years.",WIBTA if I organised a weekly RPG game even though my partner would feel left out?,NTA -111iqzd,"I (27M) got engaged to my fiancee Drea (27F) recently. (She proposed to me).We've started planning our wedding. I have a few things that are important to me re wedding stuff, namely that my siblings are there and that my brother Gus is my Best Man. Drea is a walking her own path type person. She is frugal, and didn't want to throw a traditional, expensive wedding, and is disdainful of a lot of typical wedding traditions, saying that most wedding traditions are outdated, stem from a time when women were treated like property and weddings were like business transactions, and that most wedding traditions are expectations but dont mean anything personal to either of us. She also thinks the wedding industry is a huge scam, and big weddings are wasteful. We decided to do an intimate ceremony with key people (Dreas parents, brother, and an Uncle shes close to, my mom, Gus, and my other brother Dick) go out to a nice restaurant, then go back to Dreas parents place for cake, toasts, and celebrate, then host a later reception for extended fam and friends.&#x200B;I really want Gus to be my Best Man. We've always been really close and having Gus as best man is probably one of the only things I ever explicitly imagined growing up for my future wedding. Drea doesn't like this idea. She doesn't want any bridesmaids/groomsmen/maid of honor/etc. at ALL & says the very tradition of Bridesmaids and Groomsmen is sexist and outdated, and the idea of bachelor/bachelorette parties are toxic as well. (She says the whole idea of 'one last night of freedom' is BS since in this day and age, we're choosing to be together, not being tied down, and she doesn't like the steretype of marriage as losing freedom). I get it, but for whatever reason, I just want Gus as my best man because he IS my Best Man and I really want him there by my side for the ceremony. I'm fine with Drea not having any bridesmaids or wedding parties, and I agree with her thoughts on bachelor/bachelorette parties, but this is my one thing I really want.Drea is fine with Gus being by my side at the ceremony, and has always supported our relationship (Gus lives out of town and I don't drive, she's driven me to see him, or to train so I can visit, and is always welcoming when he comes over), but has her foot DOWN about the title of 'Best Man', and that she doesn't want any of these outdated traditions, or any semblance of a wedding party for our wedding.We had another discussion about it last night, and it didn't really go anywhere. Our friends Greg and Chris were there, and it sparked a HUGE debate. Greg didn't see the big deal and said Gus should just be my best Man and we didn't need any other wedding party if we didn't want it. Chris took Drea's side and said I was being an AH for insisting so badly on one stupid title, and why did the title of Best Man matter so much if the end result would be the same and it bothered Drea so much?So am I the AH for insisting my brother should be called Best Man?",AITA for insisting my brother be my Best Man?,NTA -111fipa,"Basically myself and four other friends have decided to go away for a weekend in Cornwall. There’s five of us who are going, we picked an Airbnb out that has three bedrooms, two with double beds, and one with two single beds. At the moment the sleeping will be one of the double beds will go to a couple. The two singles are for two friend who will be sharing a room and I’ll get a double bed to myself. We have a groupchat and asked if other friend wanted to come but he couldn’t afford it at the time so we booked it without him as he said he wasn’t bothered about going. Now another friend has offered the friend who said he could come can now come as well swap around sleeping plans. So basically now if the friend who couldn’t afford to come now comes I won’t have a double bed to myself I’ll have to share a room with him and sleep on separate single beds. I know it’s not a massive issue but I was very much looking forward to my sleeping plans and so was everyone else, well now have to change and not be as comfortable as we were. WIBTA if I say I’d prefer not or maybe say he sleeps in the sofa?",WIBTA if I say I don’t want my friend coming on a trip away with the rest of our group?,NTA -111e9sg,"I caught my roommate using metal mixing bowls to boil water on metal coil stove. I am concerned the bowls were not made for that as I noticed the bowl was literally shaking last time it was on the stove. I brought up my concern to him he said “it cooks faster than using a pot”. I bought most of the kitchenware and have already had to throw out two woks and a frying pan due to misuse by fellow roommates and don’t want to ban anyone from using kitchenware, but I’m a little worried about the bowl breaking/deforming or some sort of injury due to reckless use.",AITA for asking my roommate not to use metal mixing bowls on the stove?,NTA -111dxwd,"So my family and i decided to take my boyfriend for a vacation, we’re both 20. I know my boyfriend since childhood and he gets along well with my parents. He’s basically family now. We booked a hotel room with two beds and my parents slept in one while me and my boyfriend slept in the other. Everything was fine, at night we started cuddling, didn’t even notice it, we just did. Next morning my mom refuses to talk to me and can’t look me in the eye. I ask her what’s wrong and she says something in the lines of, “i don’t think it’s proper that you sleep with him like that, you guys aren’t married.” I tell my mom nothing happened, we are sleeping in the same dang room, why would we even try anything but she won’t drop it. She says it was inappropriate and that i need to respect myself. I don’t want to argue but i think she’s being ridiculous. I didn’t do anything, i hate that she’s making me feel dirty. She’s so stubborn she won’t let it go. Please, am i wrong? Am i actually crossing a line here?",AITA? mom says it’s wrong to cuddle my boyfriend and makes me feel ashamed,NTA -1118ugw,"I work on a modding project for a particular videogame with a small team. Recently, one of my colleagues uploaded some WIP files to our GitHub, but didn’t mark them as such. Not knowing this, I went through and updated the description files (the ones he included were copy-pasted from online resources) and did some research on the issue, which I will cover in a bit more detail in a moment.The reasons I’m not sure if I’m being the mean one or not are: A) The files were committed to the main repo without any indication that they were WIP B) The files had been left for a week before I modified them, and that was 6 weeks ago (and this only came up now) C) The new description files were a regression from the previous ones; the new ones he uploaded were copy-pasted from an Internet resource, while the previous ones were perhaps inadequate but not offensively so. I updated the descriptions with research. D) His copy-pasted descriptions were in violation of the since-adopted guidelines for descriptions, though the changes were made before the new guidelines were adopted. E) One of the files which I moved was in the wrong spot.However, in our argument, he brought up the following points which I concede to: A) I’m not necessarily happy with how I did the research those 6 weeks ago, and admit that perhaps my synthesis was inaccurate to some degree. B) I ended up, during the process, deleting/merging in one of the files because it never would have been used, and perhaps in trying to clean it up I shouldn’t have done that. C) Most critically, I never talked to him about it, something which, according to our team rules, is nominally strongly encouraged but not absolutely required.He really, really railed into me yesterday for it all. AITA?",AITA for modifying my colleague’s files while he was away?,NTA -111lvwb,"I’ve been with my boyfriend for well over 4 years now. We are not married yet, but I feel like we will soon.Over the years I’ve watched these kids grow up. My boyfriends oldest sister has a lot of kids.This is the reason why they are so rough with people. But this is not the problem. One slept over for the weekend. This is when her true colors showed. She was so nice to me when we were home alone. As soon as my boyfriend got home she got mean and blamed everything on me. I was helping her make something, and every time she did something thing wrong she would blame it on me. The next two days dragged, she only stuck around because my boyfriend didn’t want to hang out with her. She didn’t clean up after herself either. When we dropped her off we were having a gathering with my boyfriend family. She insisted on telling people that I MADE her do it wrong and thats why it’s bad.I told my boyfriend that they should teach her how to take account of her wrongdoing because she’s getting older and needs to learn. My boyfriend just told me that that’s how kids are these days. This girl also doesn’t play fair,yes I know that kids can be sore losers sometimes.But this little girl cheats for every game.She even stole real money that was sitting on my boyfriends counter just because she wanted more money than her little brother. My boyfriend didn’t even tell her anything.Its not about the money,she just needs to know that stealing is wrong. My boyfriend nephew is 3 and cannot talk yet. This is also not his problem. My boyfriend swears up and down that he’s only bad because he doesn’t know how to talk.Oh no. That’s not it at all,because he knows what no means. He’s a smart kid and knows what he is doing and this is how he gets his way. Also his mom and dad doesn’t discipline him. When he cries he SCREAMS, and everything bothers him when he’s mad. If you give him one little look, he will point at you and scream even louder. He also goes around pushing and hitting kids. He has even gone so far as the grabbing a sharp kitchen tool and was trying to run after one of the kids with it.And no the kitchen tool was not sitting out, he opened the drawer and grabbed it himself (HE KNEW!) he got away with it.This one time he pushed his little cousin on purpose and my boyfriend told him no. He started screaming and got mad. Well my boyfriends mom (his grandma) picks him up and cheers him up like he was the victim.I told my boyfriend that they need to discipline him so he learns. My boyfriend just continues to say he doesn’t know how to speak and that’s why he’s bad.All I’m saying is that in the future when I have my kids, they will not be around them if they don’t know how to discipline their kids. So am I the asshole for not wanting to be around them?",AITA FOR NOT WANTING TO BE AROUND MY BOYFRIENDS NEICES AND NEPHEWS?,NTA -111lry7,"A week ago my friend (kimo) introduced to a friend of his, lets call him mano. I joke with kimo alot and we curse each other cuz we know each other since third grade, mano picked up on that and started to disrespect me but it was a bit ok with me. He started to joke and say disrespectful things abt my parents so i gave him a warning since i only know him for a week, his answer was (kosomak) which means fuck your mom's p*ssy so i cursed his dead mother and he is now mad , he called me names and kept cursing and calling my parents name more and more. Kimo told me that im in the wrong and that i should've said nicer words or disrespected him instead of his mother. AITA?",AITA for cursing someone's dead mother?,ESH -111lq95,"Im currently on summer vacation. i didn't pick any summer classes and neither did my brother, but his gf did. our grandma has a beach house three hours away from our city, and that's where we've been going all summers, however it's also the house i spent the pandemic at and that messes a lot with my mental health, i don't have friends cause all of them stay at my hometown, so this summer i didn't want to be there. after nye i was supposed to stay there for a week, until the weekend after my birthday, and then come back to my hometown, my brother has a gf and she was the reason he wanted to come back, we were to spend the weekends with my parents and the rest of the week in our hometown, as long as we kept each other company, had lunch together and took care of each other. Sadly, my country went through a series of events and we had to stay all January there, I got incredibly depressed bc of what i mentioned, my brother never came out of his room having 18+ hour calls with his gf, he came out for lunch or dinner and never talked to us cause he wanted to call her again.in February we got to come back, the deal was that after valentines we would go back to the beach for the last week of summer in which my parents do so many nice activities, take us to restaurants, we do karaoke nights and its really special.ever since we got back, my brother has been out of the house with his gf from 10am to 8pm if not later, we've had lunch together twice and when he brings her here they make out so i cant even be downstairs cause it makes me uncomfortable. i am alone all day in my room when i dont hang out w friends, he wont spend any time w me and when i asked for help to keep the house together, he says he'll do it when he came back and never does, its stressful for me, i cant yell or ground him and dont wanna involve my mom at our grown age.i told him we were leaving on Thursday and he got mad, told me Saturday cause he wanted to be with her, i told him that i need to go on Thursday and can't travel on my own cause rn it's dangerous and risky bc of the situation, he told me i was being a bitch. i asked him if he was even gonna spend the last week with us and he said his gf is more important. if he says this to my parents they're gonna stop giving him food money (all the food money he had for these weeks he spent it on his gf and has been eating 1 meal a day) and would also put them against hhe. he said im an ah for not helping him out and making him go with me when he wants to stay here. our family is healthy, my parents adore us. i don't wanna snitch on him either. he hasn't talked to me since Saturday and when he talks to me he's mean. today i heard him talking on the phone with gf and telling her he only wanted to be with her and would rather not eat for a week and have our parents mad. we are really really close, but he's being so selfish to me and pushing my parents away. so aita for telling him to come with and stay for the week?",AITA for telling my(21F) brother(18M) to come to out beach house for the last week of summer?,YTA -111lkk2," I have been invited to a friend's birthday party at Dave & Busters and I have made it clear that I do not like the place and would rather not go. I have had a few negative experiences there in the past and just generally do not enjoy the atmosphere or the games.However, my friend is insistent that I go and is getting upset with me for not wanting to attend. They say that I am ruining the plans for their birthday and that I am being rude for not wanting to go to their chosen venue.I feel like I should be able to have my own opinions and preferences when it comes to choosing where I want to spend my time and money. But, on the other hand, I don't want to upset my friend and ruin their birthday plans.So, AITA for not wanting to go to Dave & Busters?",AITA for not liking dave and busters?,NTA -111cr8v,"So my boyfriend (22M), let's call him Andrew, and I (20M) are together for 2 years now, and friends for at least 3 months more. We are both in college for the same course and year level (He transferred from another campus and shifted to another degree program) and we met each other through our school organization's discord. Now while we have known each other for more than 2 years now and for 1 of that years was during the pandemic, thus was an LDR for that period of time. However as the pandemic lessened and the schools are slowly reopened, we see each other more often than not, and I thought that because of this, maybe more boyfriend time. However, as he lives in a student dormitory/condominium unit with our other friends, he has been paying me less and less attention. If i visit, he doesn't really talk to me, just lays by my side. He doesn't visit me anymore in my own home (I still live with my parents who are welcoming and treats him like another son). When he invites me to video call on discord, I thought that maybe he would pay attention to me more or even be just us, but no he would just talk to our friends with him irl and basically ignore me. Of course I talked to him about this to no change. Now this is the part where I could be the asshole. We always try to make it a point where every Monday, we would watch Ru Paul's Drag Race together. Whether it be IRL or in Discord. Just us. But today, he called while being with our other friends and I could see that his heart wasn't into the show. After the episode ended, I could see in his video that he wasn't even in the screen. After a few minutes of calling out to him and no response, I left the call and immediately after he also left. When I said ""Night"" in a cold way, he was confused as to why and told me that I was being to hard on him. My friends are calling me an AH because I did this right before Valentine's. AITA?",AITA for being cold to my boyfriend,NTA -111lbmx,"For context: I (18M) have been in a relationship for 1 year with GF (19F), we've only been rocky once, but we both talked it out and we're all good. Currently she is ill and coughing a lot. She woke us up from our nap coughing and asking for a drink, I got it for her right before she threw up a little on herself, then she threw up a little more so I rushed to get a sick bowl. After about 3-4 minutes of trying to find a suitable bowl, I ran back upstairs with kitchen roll and the bowl and handed it to her. When the smell hit my nose, I began to gag badly myself, so I ran to the toilet to avoid throwing up all over the floor and making the situation worse. After stopping myself gagging, I held my nose and went back into the room to help her. She was half way through getting changed and asked for a bag so I pointed to them and she got one. I got her some spare clothes and then she began getting angry with me, asking me why I left and didn't help her clean herself up. I explained that I was literally gagging to the smell and had to leave. She said that she would of stayed in the room despite the smell and help me if I was in her situation. I apologised and she just said whatever. She said little as she was leaving and when she did, it was abrupt and with a lot of attitude. It's been about half an hour since she left and she usually sends kisses with her text but hasn't. Am I the asshole for not leaving the room?",AITA for leaving my girlfriend to clean up her sick,NTA -111k16h," I (17m) am in a dual enrollment college IT class. The front row is where I sit, and I glance at the people in the back row a lot. Other than them making a lot of noise frequently, I am not sure why I glance at them. During one of my glances, I asked James (fake name for his privacy) how thing are going back there. He replies with “Better without you staring back here”. I didn’t quite understand what the problem was, so after class I asked him if he had a problem with me. He sates “I don’t know why you glance at me so much. You aren’t subtle at all.” I think I might have violated his boundaries. AITA in this situation?Edit: Thank you for the feedback. Although, I don’t know what I could do to avoid staring at people. I genuinely don’t want to hurt anybody and I hate being “that guy”.",AITA for glancing at my peers in my college class?,YTA -111egx1,"This sounds dumb so I’ll try explain it as best as I can.I’m (21F) currently dating/getting to know this guy (24M) “Luke”. We’ve been in touch for a few months but it’s going super well and we both feel like it’s been longer than it actually has. He was living with his ex who he split up with at the beginning of last year so he is currently living with his family while he is trying to find a house. Therefore I’ve already met quite a few members of his family. The only issues we’ve had are regarding his ex, whom he was with for 5 years. She was abusive in the relationship and would text him constantly about how much she still loved him etc until he recently blocked her as he felt it was disrespectful to me.We live in a small town, and the unfortunate irony is that she is now in a relationship with my own abusive ex. This has cause quite a few issues obviously.He works outdoors and always has dry lips so I bought him some lip exfoliators from Lush. His 9 year old sister saw the Lush package and was ecstatic and was apparently devastated it was for him and not her.We were out shopping for Valentine’s Day yesterday as I’ll be in university for Valentine’s Day in another city and we went into Lush. I thought I’d buy his little sister just a small face mask, as I’m always at their house and I thought she’d love it. Luke kept saying I didn’t have to, so I asked if it was appropriate to which he said yes. I went to the house after and gave her the mask which she was extremely thrilled and grateful for as I said I’d heard she liked the products I’d bought her brother. Her dad (his stepdad) walked in on the interaction and thanked me profusely and said I was extremely kind. After I’d joked with Luke’s stepdad for a bit I went into his room. He asked if his sister was appreciative etc. Its important to note that due to the situation of our exes being in a relationship together, we deal with it through humour and both have fairly dark senses of humour. I made an extremely light hearted joke about how I was now her favourite girl that he had ever brought home as I’d bought her this silly face mask. His face fell and he went silent. After a lot of prompting he said I was manipulative for trying to bribe his little sister and it was inappropriate for me to even be buying her presents as he was not yet even my boyfriend. He said I was immature for trying to “one-up” his ex by using his little sister. I explained the comment was simply a joke and those were not my intentions, and if the gift was inappropriate why did he not tell me when I asked. He apologised and tried to make out as if he was joking too but it was quite clear he was not.I feel like I’m the asshole as he’s right - we’re not together and perhaps I crossed some boundaries. I did not have any bad intentions when buying her that and her own father thought it was a lovely gift. I thought he would take my comment as an obvious joke but there seems to be some weird unresolved tension now. AITA?",AITA for buying a face mask for the 9 year old sister of the guy I’m dating?,NTA -111hs0n,"Ever since moving out for college and experimenting with my new found freedom to find a sense of identity, I have found that dyeing my hair is one thing that makes me feel the most like myself. So since the past one year I've been dyeing my hair constantly, changing it every 2 to 3 months. Since not a lot of people have dyed hair in my college at this point it has become my most distinguishable feature, to the point where people I haven't ever talked to know me just by the mention of my hair. When I cut all of my dyed hair off in December (because it was way too damaged) one of my professors asked me where it went and that I look good with dyed hair. My plan when I decided to chop my hair off was to dye all of it. I had initially planned a split dye but eventually settled on all red hair. Being an indecisive person I mentioned it to my friends a lot and asked for their advice. To which I was met with ""are you crazy"" looks. Over the last two months I've been showing them pictures of the exact colour I wanted. Being a broke college student I couldn't afford to dye my hair in December but it was always coming. All cherry red hair.Last week my friend mentioned she was thinking about dyeing her hair like I wanted to. All red. When I showed her the colour I had saved as my 'inspiration' she told me it wasn't her taste. I support all my friends in whatever they do so I hyped her up and didn't think much of it. Here is where the problem started. 2 days ago she posts a story of her with her new hair and it is exactly what I had wanted. What I had been planning for months. The colour she had said no to. When we met in person she said it was an impromptu decision that she took. I of course have been hyping her up and it looks gorgeous. She looks so pretty with it. I genuinely love it and am happy for her. I'm also looking into other colours now. But I have to admit a tiny (read kinda big) part of me feels a little bitter/upset about it. Of course I won't ever say it to her. I know comparison is my biggest downfall and I'm working on it. But knowing that I've been postponing it for months because I couldn't afford it and watching her get it on a whimsy makes me jealous. Plus it being the exact same colour i wanted does make me feel a little irritated/bitter. I know it sounds childish but eventhough it was my idea in the first place since she got it done first it'll seem like I'm copying her. And just I feel like such a crybaby and kind of an ass about it. Because it may be a small thing for her it means a lot to me. I have discussed it with my friends and they say it doesn't matter and that just because I wanted it first, my friend doesn't have to consider it. Which I know is true. But still.So aita for feeling this way?",AITA for being bitter about my friends hairdye?,NAH -111heey,"Playing xbox with a friend and his gf was chilling with him, conversation of her being bi comes up, we then discuss is she gay? I say she's apart of the community so yeah. I add on ""the LGTBQ+2squared 3 reccuring"" and she said it was offensive.Now I don't have any issue with the LGTBQ+ and dont generally make offensive jokes, it's just not in my nature but I didn't think that was offensive?",AITA made an offensive joke?,YTA -111kotd,A couple of weeks ago I got into a car accident and my car won’t run. My family only has one other reliable vehicle and it belongs to my grandmother in law whom my husband and I live with. She needs the car throughout the week but is fine with me using it to get to work if my husband brings it back after dropping me off. My job starts at 7am and is 25 minutes commute from the house. My husband’s job starts at 10am and he works from home. My husband doesn’t sleep well and rarely gets enough rest on a good day. He thinks that I should ask co workers to pick me up in the mornings and take me home. I’ve been doing so for 2 weeks now and don’t feel like it’s the right thing to do for me to keep asking every day. He thinks I’m selfish because I want him to take me to work in the mornings instead of asking my co workers every day. He says that getting up early with me disrupts his entire day. I think he’s selfish for wanting me to request rides from people I’m not close to so that he can get extra sleep. AITA?,AITA for expecting my husband to take me to work instead of my coworkers?,NTA -111cvr3,"I am a grad student with a issue of helping mentality. Even though the kindness has bought me issues, I have stuck with it so far. Recently a new student (grad student - takes same classes as me) joined the university. He asked me for help for a HW and I helped him. During this time, some other students (who used to be his friends) stopped picking his calls because of his annoying nature and I didn't know this. Having a small friend circle, I was even happy to have him as my friend. He is actually brilliant in studies but sometimes he is annoying in the sense that he asks for a lot of favors and sometimes demands them.I think I am being biased because when I came to the university, I didn't have anyone to help me. I had to learn everything on my own and got bad grades in the beginning. Now that he's struggling, he is basically copying my HWs and gets marks for classes that he doesn't even show up. He is persistent while asking for these favors. And for the same reason, since last couple of days, I have to walk half an hour after almost all classes because he knows where I sit in the uni and I stopped attending his calls.The thing is, I am being helpful because no one was there for me. All I wanted was someone like that when I came here. I don't know avoiding him is a wrong thing to do.PS: We share almost the same workload (he might have a bit more than me) and 3 out of 4 classes.",AITA for avoiding a friend,NTA -1122rdb,I will not say my wife is OCD because I have no training to make such a diagnosis. She is however incredibly anal about so much stuff.I can deal with most of it. There is really only one thing that bugs me. She doesn't understand that the soap dispensers need to be refilled. There is a bathroom just inside the back door that I use on my way into the house. I like to use it then wash my hands and my face after a long day at work or after a day of working in the garage or on the yard. This requires soap. My wife likes liquid soap dispensers. No problem I can live with that. Except that when they are empty she forgets to refill them. So I have to use another bathroom in the house. Then she gives me shit for bringing dirt into the house.I bought a sleeve of bars of soap to keep in that bathroom. She threw them away because bats of soap are gross. I bought replacement dispensers. She gave me shit for wasting money on refillable soap dispensers. She buys liquid soap by the gallon. But she doesn't store the stockpile in the same place all the time.and when I go looking for it she gives me shit for disorganizing her pantry/storeroom. So now whenever I runout of soap I just toss the dispenser in the garbage and go get one from the other bathroom. Then when she gets home she gets upset because she has to dig the dispenser out of the garbage to refill it. I've asked her to leave me a gallon of soaping the bathroom. She won't. I bought my own gallon of soap. She found it and hid it wherever she hides that shit. She says I'm being an ass throwing away the dispensers. I say it's her fault for not refilling them. I even drew a line on the one in my bathroom so I can give her a weeks warning that I need a refill.,AITA because I make my wife dig through the trash.,NTA -112423b,"My (17f) brother (15m) and I's parents have a rule for jobs. We get to keep 1/3, 1/3 goes to college, and the rest goes into an account for us to get when we turn 21. I think that's a pretty fair rule, and it's what I'm doing since I've started working. My brother has always complained about our parents ""taking"" his money, but since we live under their roof I think they have every right to do it.We thought my brother was making $15 an hour, and they were splitting the money like that. Well he told me the other day that he got a raise to $18 and hasn't told our parents. He just pockets the extra money. I really think that's disrespectful towards them to break a rule like that. So I told him he has until tonight to tell them or I will, and he called me a bitch.",WIBTA if I told our parents my brother is lying about his paychecks?,YTA -1126o7e,"I met this guy about 3 months ago, we’ll call him “Bob”.Bob and I met on a dating app and hooked up. I made it clear from the start I was just looking for hookups and nothing serious. We had a good time, and I said I would like to keep hanging out as friends or fwb.He said he was ok with this.For the next few weeks he showered me in gifts, constantly, and also admitted that he was into me. None of this, is stuff I asked for, and I made it clear I still wasn’t into him, and was not gonna reciprocate.Part of the gifts were a pair of really nice expensive earrings. These are one of my favourite pairs of earrings now.Bob started acting a bit obsessed, and was demanding I text him every day, and return to him the amount of affection he was giving me. Something id made clear I didn’t want. It is at this point I decided to break ties with him. I said that he clearly wanted more from me that I wanted to give him, and that I wasn’t gonna change my mind on that no matter what he said.Later, we ran into each other at a play I was attending, and this is when he asked for the earrings back. He told me he’d spent a lot of money on them, and wanted them back to give them to someone who would actually return the favour.I said no, that I liked them, and that he gave them to me, he should not have to ask for them back just cause he didn’t get what he wanted out of our relationship. He got extremely angry and said I led him on, that he did so much for me and that I never even gave him the time of day. He said I used him for his affections and his gifts and that I was a horrible person for doing this.At first I was pretty certain I’m in the right but after his blow up I started questioning a bit more. AITA?",AITA for not giving back an expensive gift I was given?,NTA -1123v95,"For context: Im a 19 year old girl, and recently got into (What i assume its called in english) College. I have an older brother who is much older than i am, hes 29. and he has a 3 year old kid. His kid has Downs Syndrome.Recently my brother has been pretty busy, as hes been searching for a better job than the one he has now. hes been trying to be the ""Main breadwinner"", according to his girlfriend. And since theyve both been working, no ones been able to look after their kid. so two days ago, my brother asked me to babysit their child for a bit. I turned them down, because of two reasons. 1. I wont have time to look after the baby because of classes and studying, which i have to do a lot at this point in life. 2. he has downs syndrome like i mentioned earlier, and i have no idea how, or even if i am equipped to take care of a child with down syndrome. when i told them this, they called me an ableist bitch. They started saying that they were busy, and i couldnt just say no to babysitting because he's disabled.So, AITA?",AITA For not babysitting my brothers child because he has a disability?,NTA -1128mxm,"We have been having these fights for a few years now. He wakes me up when I snore and I told him not to do that. He even admitted to me, that because the amount of times I turn around and continue sleeping is much bigger than the amount of times I wake up and snap, he just does it. I have had countless talks about this with him. He says he won't do it. Every time. He does it again. Every time. I do not want to sleep separately all the time just because of it, but he is welcome to go sleep on the couch if he wakes up because of my snoring (probably AH-ish on my part). I hate being woken up because I can hardly ever go back to sleep. Even when my baby was a few months old, I most couldn't go back to sleep once woken up. So I hate it and I snap real hard. I started making his night miserable, as well, because, you know, if I stay up because of you, then I might drag you with me. I am very pissed at this moment.Recently he promised to not wake me up again (LOL) and I ak very sure he will. So Reddit, am I the asshole for snapping at my husband for waking me up because of my snoring?UPDATE: I did not know sleep studies existed and I will definately be looking into that when I go to the doctor and see if I can fix this. Thank you for all your responses for showing me that I am the AH, and what I can do better in this situation.",AITA for snapping at my husband for waking me up at night because of my snoring?,YTA -1123ch0,I (34M) and my wife (31F) are expecting a child in 12 weeks time. We don't know the sex of the baby but we've started thinking about baby names. A couple of nights ago we were suggesting names. I had a girlfriend for around 6 years before meeting my now wife. Unfortunately she passed away and I was absolutely devastated. It's still painful to think about and I always imagined naming a child in her memory. I also just love the name itself (Nancy). When I made the suggestion to my wife she seemed unimpressed. She told me she didn't really feel comfortable with doing that. She felt it was strange and didn't make sense as Nancy had been my girlfriend. The way I see it is that Nancy was very important to me for a really long time. She was my best friend and losing her was just a terrible thing. I feel as though it would be a great way to remember and honour a dear friend who I miss everyday. My wife doesn't share my views and honestly its caused a lot of issues. I dropped it and said it was important we both agreed on the name but she's still insisting it's strange and she doesn't understand why I suggested it. I don't know if she feels insecure or maybe the pregnancy is stressing her but she just won't drop it. I honestly don't see the issue whatsoever. AITA?,AITA for suggesting a previous girlfriend's name as a baby name?,YTA -1122y1q,"My son (19M) still lives at home with me (40F.) He's been with his girlfriend (18F) for ≈3 years now, and he asked about her moving in with us. I eventually said yes, and shes now lived with us for around 8-9 months.For context, we live in a pretty big house with 2 kitchens, 2 bathrooms, and 4 bedrooms. There's an upstairs area where I sleep and have my own kitchen and the master bathroom. Downstairs they have their own space, and only need to come up to my area for showers. There are no issues with space and I still have my privacy, so I didn't see much of a problem. But since she's moved in I've felt taken advantage of. She has no job, and lost the one she *did* have almost immediately after moving in. She used to work full time but quit. When she first started living with me she paid a $80/month ""rent"" fee, mostly to help with utilities, and her and my son bought their own food. But now that she's lost her job, they're eating a lot of my food I buy for myself, and I'm only getting about $30 a month from my son who works part time. So I'm left paying for almost all of their food, water, heat, etc. I was fine with this for a little while between jobs, but it's gone on for 8 months now and I don't even think she's applying anymore. They're also very loud and inconsiderate. I sleep early, it's how I am, like 8 or 9 PM. I like to wake up a couple hours before work and enjoy the morning. And my son was always super quiet and respectful, until she moved in...Now they'll talk loudly until 12-3AM, and play music all throughout the day. I've even heard them have sex a couple times which feels so wrong since I'm his MOM. I've been unable to fall asleep until midnight on most nights. I work at 8:30 so now I'm either rushing to get out the door or losing sleep. I've told them to keep it down so many times but I feel like a nag because they don't listen and always just say ""we are"" or ""yeah wait a sec"" etc. They're completely dismissive of my needs or sleep schedule. They just don't care. Her attitude has annoyed me, because she seems to not take me seriously. I've heard her call me names behind my back multiple times. Well a month-ish ago I gave her an ultimatum. I told her if she didn't get a job and they didn't keep the noise down then she'd have to leave. She had until the end of the month (January.) Obviously Jan is over now. And I stuck to my word. I kicked her out on February 12, and she moved back in with her sister today (where she lived before moving in here, her parents are neglectful.) My son is so mad at me. He said I'm ""heartless"" and need to give her a chance. Then basically stormed in his room and hasn't spoken to me since. I've tried texting him and explaining my side but I'm left on read.I don't want to ruin the relationship I have with my son. But the noise, disrespect, lack of job or trying, eating my food, money it cost me, it all ads up...AITA?",AITA for kicking my son's girlfriend out of the house?,NTA -1129vv0,I (25M) was out to eat with my mom (54)It was going well for the most part but she often has too much to drink. I also drove her there. I don’t want this flagged as a debate so I will keep this part short. She was complaining about “woke” education and ended up saying that parents have a right to teach their kids racist/bigoted things if they want and it is not the schools place to try to change it. I got up and left and told her to find her own way home. She got all dramatic and called my grandma and aunt crying. Said I “was mean to her” and “yelled at her before abandoning her”. She ended up taking an Uber home. Family members think I need to apologize because although we disagree I had no right to leave her there. Aita?,AITA for leaving my drunk mom at a restaurant after she said something I found disgusting?,NTA -111xtyk,"Mike (27M) is my (25F) older brother. He spends a lot of time online, as he is not working, and he recently got it in his head that I am/was the 'golden child' in the family. He blames all his misfortunes on this.He started uni about 6 years ago and now only has his internship left to do and his final exams. He says he is looking for an internship, but he has been saying that for almost a year. In the mean time, our parents give him money so he doesn't starve. I finished uni in time and have a slightly above average paying job.From his point of view, I was always treated better than him, our parents were always proud of me and never of him, they showered me with praises, showed me up to our relatives as their great child and they helped my studies with tutors and foreign language camps. He says this is why I am where I am now and he is where he is. From my point of view, we both had the same opportunities. I studied, always did my homework and asked my parents for tutors, when I needed it. Mike rarely did his homework, didn't study that much, and in high school, he skipped school so many times he was almost forced to repeat the year. I told Mike this. I told him I was never the golden child, I just actually did things that were worth the praise, meanwhile he caused so much headache to our parents by skipping school constantly. I also stopped receiving money from our parents when I finished uni at 22, and he is still being taken care of by them at 27, so I don't really see them treating him that badly.Mike said that our parents ruined him when he was still under 10, because instead of guiding and helping him like parents are supposed to, they labeled him as the lazy/stupid child and focused on helping me, the one, who was doing good by herself already, to do even better. Mike said that what I was saying is cruel and the least I could do is reassure him as a good sibling.I disagree with him, I really do. But I was just a little child, it's possible I didn't see things for what they were and now I'm being a huge asshole for invalidating my brother's feelings. AITA?",AITA for telling my brother I was never the golden child?,NTA -1125do0,"I currently live in a on campus apartment with a terrible roommate, he’s a frat boy and treats our room like a frat house. He never cleans up after himself, never washes dishes, never cleans the toilet or the shower end doesn’t flush the toilet. It’s generally disgusting. I used to clean last semester but after it became clear my cleaning was enabling him. I’m not his fucking mommy so I decided to get him to clean.I have retired multiple times to get him to clean up after himself and he constantly refuses or says he will but doesn’t. He likes to say that, “since we both use the shower, the sink, the toilet, the kitchen, etc. it’s not just me making a mess”. The thing is it’s very clearly him. I have very short hair, and I have 4c hair while he is white with very long hair. When I cook, I use one eye on the stove and clean around it, his dishes are the ones in the sink, he’s the one who just refuses to clean the toilet or remove hair balls from the shower. There’s literally still green paint in our shower from his Halloween costume. It’s not me.So a while back I saw a trend that people were using to show their nasty ass roommates and I hopped onto it and my post got pretty big. I did not include my roommates name or anything in the post, but it got pretty big that lots of people that attend my school were able to recognize the room layout. It got posted some social media pages about my school and my roommate saw it and he was livid.He said that I had no right to post that and that it was humiliating. He threatened to go to the housing manager in an attempt to have me removed, I told him I didn’t expose him and that no one knows it was him. I also say this wouldn’t happen if he just cleaned up after himself.AITA?",AITA for posting my dirty room on TikTok and embarrassing my roommate in,NTA -112b25h,"My girlfriend (28F) was traveling and asked me (30M) to stay at her place and look after her dogs. She told me I could use her car for anything I needed during my stay. She has two cars and did not specify which one. A Porsche 911 GT3 and a Toyota Camry.I used the Camry most of the times but took the Porsche for a short road trip to a hiking trail and I hired a dog sitter that day. We did have fun with it in an empty field but nothing too extreme or going over what the car is rated for.When she got back she noticed the Porsche was more dirty (I did not leave it extremely dirty or anything just a normal amount of dirty) and asked me if I used that car, I said I did but only once. She got upset and said that I should have known when I said car she meant only the Toyota as she always refers to the Porsche as the Porsche or the GT3. She herself only uses that car for special occasions and sometimes takes it to a track, and I thought our trip counted as a special occasion.She got the car checked as she claimed it felt different, and came back with an incredibly expensive maintenance quote and told me I should pay for the suspension and undercarriage damage parts of the bill. I feel like she is being an AH I only used it for one day and I said I did not know maintenance was part of the deal and that I felt tricked. I offered to pay for the whole service of the Camry the next time it needs it. She got the other car knowing the maintenance is high for her hobbies and is trying to shift the maintenance cost to me.AITAEDIT: I did not know you could not use the car in fields and my friend really wanted to try the car and pressured me to let him try it in the field even though I was reluctant but he assured me it would not cause any damage. I will pay the bill in that case maybe even the whole bill. I could afford it and I doubt my friend would pay for it.",AITA for not wanting to pay for my girlfriend's car maintenance after I used it with permission once while pet sitting for her,YTA -112bfnc,"My dad died when I was 5 and my mom married my stepdad around 3 years later. He had two kids as well, a boy that was 3 years older than me and a daughter that was 2 years younger, and he always treated them better than he treated me. My mom was a stay at home mom and never worked. He held the fact that he saved us from poverty over our heads.Things didn't get really bad though until my half-brother was born. He's 8 years younger than me, and I think he was part of the reason why they got married in the first place. When he turned 3, they moved him into my room, and then when he was 6, they (really my stepfather) decided he deserved his own room, so he took my room and I started living out of the living room. I slept on the couch and all of my clothes were stuffed into a coat closet. Any clothes that didn't fit in the tiny closet were donated away. Then when I turned 16, my stepdad demanded I get a job and start paying rent. My older stepbrother was taking a gap year before college, and didn't have to do that. The only one that was at all decent was my stepsister who even begged her dad to let me stay in her room. He refused, which I don't blame her for because it would definitely be inappropriate for a 17 year old boy to share a room with a 16 year old girl.When I graduated from high school, my stepfather told me that he would not be paying for my college. A year before he had agreed to pay for my stepbrothers college entirely. I was able to get a few scholarships and loans to pay for college, as well as the money I'd saved from working. I had enough for the first year, so I left.I met my now wife in my first year, and she's the only reason I'm where I am today. Her parents were also wonderful, and after our first year, they took me into their own home, and then helped me pay for the rest of college. Her dad helped me get my first job, and even invested in my business at the beginning. My business has really grown since then, and I've become very wealthy.My stepbrother ended up getting a girl pregnant in his third year of college, dropped out, and now still lives with my stepfather and mom with his now wife and three kids. Since I still need to see my mom, my wife and I purchased two houses in my hometown. We rent out one and use the other whenever I go visit. Well, the last few years have been really bad for my stepdad. He had to close down his business over COVID, and some other things happened so they're flat broke now. They need to sell the house to cover their debts. My mom knows about the house I own, and asked me if they could move in. I told her that she can, but my stepfather and stepbrother's family can't. My mom was very upset about this, my stepfather called me a lot of names, but mainly just ungrateful and heartless. My wife thinks that I should just agree since it would be hard on my mom to be away from her husband and I'm making my stepbrother and his family homeless. AITA?",AITA for telling my mom that she can stay in my house but not my stepdad or his son's family?,NTA -1124ah1,"We’re having a non traditional wedding and the color of my dress became somewhat of a mystery-game in which the guests are trying to guess the color. Their guesses were white, red and black. We thought that this guessing game was quite funny and When it was time to send out the invitations (6 months in advance) we decided on a dress code which stated that the event is semi-formal and the only two colors we don’t want them to wear are white and red. Therefore they can choose any other color (and before anyone mentions pink and orange: those are okay. We’re only talking about bright red and bordeaux). In addition: as we’re getting married in March, there’s a big possibility of it still having snow as well as all our florals are green I don’t want there to be a “Christmas-y” Vibe. I got in an argument with our Best Mans GF (full disclosure: I don’t like her. I tried multiple times to find any redeeming qualities in her but as it seems we just can’t stand esch other) twice: First when she asked me if she could wear a floor length white lace gown and second when she got herself a Bordeaux Velvet gown. At first I kindly asked her not to wear those dresses as the dress code states and it would be disrespectful to the other guests that are dressing according to it and to us as hosts.After a while she got her BF involved and made him confront me about being unreasonable and that her, as his GF, should hold a “special position” in our wedding and therefore be exempt from the dress code. I became really stubborn and told them again, that there are multiple other colors available, that it’s not a big deal for her not to wear those two colors and I even offered her one of my dresses or even to sew her the exact same dress in a different color. They got angry and stormed off.Am I the Asshole here?Additional Information: - She bought the red dress, she already owned the white one. She’s well in the financial situation to buy a new dress. - I myself offered her to go through my closet and choose a dress (I have a lot of formal and semi-formal dresses). I even would have made alterations to it to fit her. - in case it matters: We’re paying for everything which includes an open bar and a four-course-meal. They don’t pay for anything on the wedding. We don’t have a registry.EDIT: - The “No white” rule of course doesn’t count for mens dress shirts (as a white shirt is kind of a default staple for a suit)! It’s for dresses and suits (the red as well)- As the question got asked: My fiancé agrees with me. - uninviting her/choosing a different BM (all tough IMO he did a bad job until now aka nearly nothing) is difficult as the BM is my fiancés cousin. Therefore not inviting her would possibly start family drama and dropping the BM as well.",AITA for asking wedding guests NOT to wear two specific colors (white + red)?,NTA -112727o,"I have a friend that works in my neighborhood and will ask me to crash at my house so she doesn't have to commute home after work at 5am. She has done this 4 times in the past three weeks. I was leaving town for work for one night which is a night that she works. I asked her if she would stay over and walk my dog since she works that night anyway. I would compensate her with a nice bottle of whiskey and take her out to eat. you know...as friends do.The night she is supposed to walk my dog comes around and she sends me videos of him in the woods or someone's yard. Apparently, she lost her job and decided to take my dog on a vacation out of the city. I thought to myself, he looks happy so what's the harm. Then the next day i come home around 1pm and she says she will text when she is coming back. 5pm rolls around and I'm like what's your ETA? She says tomorrow morning. I tell her that she really should have asked me if she could take my dog and now she's keeping him an extra night? She says I am overreacting and that she would never do anything to hurt my dog. Tomorrow morning comes and goes and I get a message at 1pm saying they had to get an oil change and would have him back before dark. I asked if she knew about this oil change the night before when she said she would be back in the morning? She keeps shifting blame and saying "" i just lost my job!"" Im like ""was I the one that fired you?"" At 7pm I again am like what's your ETA it's no longer daytime? She says 9pm. At 9pm she says that they stopped for food. I don't get the dog back til 11pm and she is mad at me for making a big deal out of nothing.AITA?",AITA - For getting mad that my friend who was dog sitting took my dog upstate without asking and then kept lying about when she was bring him back?,NTA -112500f,"My(M23) parents always wanted a daughter. I'm their last effort to have a daughter and I also have 2 brothers(M39 and M40) lets's call them Tyler and Oliver. Tyler has a son(M17) and Oliver has a daughter(F16) who we will call Ella.I still remember the day she was born. My parents were so happy, I've never seen them happier. Oliver is a single dad and our parents who wanted to have a daughter happily suggested they move in with us and Oliver accpeted. I know my parents favor Ella and it never bothered me because they never treated me badly or anything like that and Ella is like a little sister to me and I love her very much.Tyler's is a bit different. His wife didn't get along with our parents and she tried to keep her son away from our parents. She didn't even let them babysit and when he got older they didn't visit much so we are not close to them.Last week was Ella's sweet 16 and my parents went all out including throwing her a very big party and buying her favorite car. Tyler and his wife were invited and they were angry the whole time and it got even worse after they saw the giftTyler started ranting to me about how unfair it is that they favor Ella to his son. He asked me doesn't it bother you? That they favor her so much? I jokingly said ""no I favor her too. Why?"" He called me an asshole and reminded me that his son got a guitar for his birthday and I got a car that cost half of Ella's and said we need to talk to them about it. I told him no he needs to grow up and realize if he wants his son to get a car for his 16th birthday he needs to stop keeping him away from our parents, or just shut up and deal with it.He thinks I'm a major asshole and won't talk to me anymore",AITA for what I told my brother?,NTA -1126vi2,I am 20 yrs old but I have a very overprotective (middle eastern) mom. I’ve been looking for jobs for a while for before starting uni (in fall) and I got called in for an irl interview next week. The office is an hour away and my mom said she doesn’t feel comfortable with me going there on my own. So she wants to come with me. After some arguing I decided to do a compromise and I told her to just hang around the area and browse some stores or something instead and that if she HAS to come in to the building with me then that makes me uncomfortable and I’ll cancel the interview. She did indirectly agree but I still feel bad about the whole thing and just uncomfortable but yeahh. So AITA?,AITA for insisting my mom doesn’t come with me in the building for a job interview,NTA -11255vq,"My husband is a SAHD and I'm the breadwinner, so our relationship is not traditional. He has been streaming for the past few years and just recently has had a surgeience in his cash flow. He recently got donated about $700 and I'm very proud of him. The issue is that he pulled me aside yesterday and told me that he will be upset if he does not get to spend his money on what he wants. All I asked was that I get 100$ for groceries $50 for me to get my hair done for valentines day and $50 to do something with our kid. That would leave him $500 to do whatever with. I'll add that I bought a PS5 about 2 months ago with the holiday pay I made. I've also been waiting 3 years to get a ps5 and they finally had them at my Walmart. I also got myself a tattoo 6 months ago but I worked OT to be able to get it. I didn't have any plans to spend my husband's money. I'm beyond mad that he would even feel like he needed to say this to me. I've thought about being petty about my money. I make about $2800 a month and put every penny I make into the house. I'm not stingy with my money I've bought stuff for his setup and also stuff for his woodworking hobby. Neither one is cheap. I've got some extra money coming in a few weeks would I be the asshole if I acted the same way towards him with money I earned?Edit: I know it's not my money or his money. That is said in this post to for context.",WIBTA my hubby made money streaming,NTA -1126adn,"When I take a poop, I like to use wet wipes for the “bulk” and dry off with toilet tissue. I don’t like having a wet ass.My wife is notorious for not refilling things she uses, including toilet tissue. This has been an ongoing joke/argument with is.I went to the bathroom and was already wrapping up and realized she left the TP roll empty. She is in the other room just sitting on the couch and I asked her to grab me some TP.She said “just use the wet wipes” and refused to get some TP for me despite me explaining why I wanted some TP.I showered later that day and I used the last of our communal refillable body wash. This time I didn’t refill it. An hour later, she is in the shower and asked me to refill the bodywash.I said back, “just use my bodywash” which I know she doesn’t like because it smells like a man. She told me she doesn’t like it and I told her “I don’t like a wet ass”.Granted, I still refilled the bodywash for her because I didn’t want to be a dick, but she said I was an AH for that. I just said it is the same thing as what she did to me and she doesn’t see the correlation. I know it was immature, but was I TA?",AITA for telling my wife “just use my bodywash”?,ESH -111y1ov,"My wife and I have been married now for 11 years this year and been together for 13. Throughout this time, I have flourished in my career, while she just had a job at the mall. I was fine with that until she quit her job 10 years ago. I told her we will be ok, and that you will find another job.Throughout our years of marriage, there have been tons of medical issues she has endured over the course of our marriage. Even now, she is dealing with back issues. With this in mind, she uses these medical issues (migraines, removal of gall bladder, back issues, emotional issues, etc...) to say she cannot get a job.Since this is the case, clearly we are a single income family. In California, it is very expensive to live out here, but both of our families are out here so moving is out of the question. Ive asked her numerous times to get a job or make some type of income, but falls on deaf ears I feel.So during holidays (such as Valentine's or Xmas) she will just take money out of our account and buy something for me. When she does this I get pissed, because I dont want her spending the money I earned for some stupid shit that I'll barely care about. She has bought me things with my money that I question.Recently, she bought me a pairing knife for Xmas, and while inexpensive, was like wtf? Why would you buy that for me? We dont need a pairing knife, we need groceries or pay bills.So I got upset with her and told her ""Why even bother buying me anything when you don't make any money and you'll just use my money?""She stormed off upset and now uses this as argument artillery when we get into fights.AITA for being upset about her using the money I earned to buy a gift for me?EDIT: I am the ""breadwinner"" but I also take care of our child who is 6 while she is still having these chronic issues. And yes I buy my son gifts with the money I earn because he is a child and deserves it. ",AITA: For me being upset about my wife buying me a gift with my own money?,INFO -1126j0e,"Not sure if this is even worth posting but my gf is pretty upset about itMy first language isn’t englishUsing a TA acc bc obviously i don’t want my gf to find this postMe (20m) and my gf (19f) started dating around 6 months ago. Shes really funny and sweet but can get very dramatic.Sometime in early January we figured she might be pregnant because we’ve been having sex without a condom during her fertile days. Her period was over a week late so she decided to schedule an appointment at the gynecologist. The earliest they could get her was February 14thTowards the end of January she miscarried. She was only bleeding for like 10 days and recovered just fineToday is valentines day, and also the date of her gyno appt. I had forgotten to get her a card and make a reservation at a restaurant so I was obviously stressed. I slept over at her house but i still had to go to the bakery to get myself some breakfast then go to the post office to drop off a package (and get the card) so I left at 10:30 AM. I admit I had completely forgotten about her appt but again, I was stressed. At around 12 PM my gf called me in absolute distress and screamed at me that she hated me because I‘m a selfish AH etc. I calmly asked her what was going on but she just kept screaming at me.Apparently on my way out I got the doormat stuck under the door. Thats it. The door was blocked from opening so she missed her gyno appointment.In my country when you don’t attend a doctors appt you get fined. Idk the exact amount but we’re talking about a couple hundred € I thinkI asked her what she wants me to do now and she screamed she wants me to pay the fine then hung upShe texted me saying Im a self centered idiot. I obviously got mad so I texted her back „Your right. It was my plan to trap you in your house so there’s no way you could go to the check up. /s“ I didnt mean to be rude but I just had to show her how ridiculous she sounded. It was obviously a mistake I didn’t mean to stop her from going. She then berated me for not apologizing to her. I dont think thats fair at all, I didn’t do it on purposeI do understand this sucks for her because now she has to pay the fine and schedule a new appointment which is gonna cost even more €. Atp I told her to just not reschedule because the bleeding has stopped 2 weeks agoShe wants me to give her at least half the amount of money she’ll have to pay for the fine and shes still really mad at me. I dont think I should have to pay because it wasn’t my fault the doormat got stuck under the door when I leftI texted her that of course I‘m sorry but shes being way too emotional. None of this would’ve happened if she’d just get on birth control.So am I the asshole for accidentally blocking the door?TLDR; my gf missed her gyno appointment and now she thinks I should pay the fine",AITA for making my gf miss her follow up gyno appt after she miscarried,YTA -1124eb7,"My husband and I went to lunch w friends. He had 4 glasses of wine by now and after we all finished eating, the server poured everyone another complimentary glass of a new wine. If he drank that 5th glass we would have to stay in the parking lot for a long time so he could sober up and drive (the staff was prepping to close the restaurant). I said very nicely he should drink more water to sober up and a taste would be fine and he said okay and takes a sip. We’re all talking and after a few minutes I slide his glass next to mine and pour the rest of the wine into my glass. He makes a funny joke that it was his wine and I shouldn’t have taken it, everyone laughs. We all get up to walk around the restaurant’s flower garden for a bit and my husband says he’s going to get another glass at the bar to walk around with. We all tell him no, he doesn’t need it bc we’re going to leave after walking around and he says okay. He seemed happy and not bothered by it. We walk around and then go home. Later he says he didn’t like that I took his wine and that it embarrassed him and made him feel like he couldn’t make his own decisions when he’s an adult man. I was confused bc I drank it because I didn’t want to waste wine. I tell him sorry I wasn’t trying to embarrass him and that he had agreed to only have a sip so I didn’t want to waste the rest of the wine. He says he knows he agreed to a sip but I shouldn’t have drank it. I asked what I should have done instead. He said I should have tapped him on the hand to signal he should stop drinking. But even if I tapped his hand I still would have drank his wine so that it wasn’t a waste. I then ask if I hadn’t drank his wine would he have drank the glass even though he said he’d only have a sip and he says yes and I asked if we hadn’t stopped him from buying another glass would he have done it. He says yeah. And I tell him that if he drank more we would not have been able to leave until hours later and he said he didn’t know we were leaving sooner. I thought that was odd he didn’t know because all the other diners had left and the staff was prepping to close. Note, I couldn’t drive and we were far from home so an Uber would be too pricey to take home and come back later to get the car. AITA for what I did? I’m really trying to understand his POV but I don’t understand why he was embarrassed and mad by a situation that wasn’t awkward or a big deal. And why am I bothered that he’s mad about it? Thanks!",AITA for drinking my husband’s wine? He got mad and now I’m bothered by that.,ESH -111z3q3,"My relationship with my dad is complicated, it was just the two of us when I was a kid, no aunts/uncles/grandparents. I always knew growing up that he loved me but he also had some creative parenting methods that I wasn't fond of, so by the time I moved out, I went low contact, basically just reaching out when I reached big milestones (big job, marriage, first house, daughter born). About a month ago he reached out to say that he's very sick and that when he thought about dying all alone, it made him really rethink a lot of stuff, and that he just wants the chance to reconnect with me and apologize for some stuff from my childhood, and to properly meet his granddaughter Maisy. I've seen a lot of horror stories on reddit about distant parents needing money or whatnot, but I think he sounded genuine, and I figured that Maisy at 15 is old enough to consider these things for herself. So I sat her down for an honest conversation about the kind of person my dad is, including both the good and the bad. She ultimately decided that she didn't want to meet him, which is completely okay, but I think that I will meet with him myself if he does fly up. The fact that he accepted her decision without being an ass when I told him only makes me feel more confident that he really meant what he said. I wasn't able to talk to my wife about any of this because she's out of the country for work and there are strict rules about no contact except for emergencies. I was finally able to talk with her last night, and when I told her about this situation, she freaked out. She said she's glad that Maisy made the right choice, but that it never should have been a choice offered to her in the first place, and that I would be a fool to give my dad a chance. She said I should have waited until I could talk to her before even bringing it up to Maisy, but I thought it would be cruel to make my dad wait so long for an answer. But now my wife is upset with me, and I'm wondering if I should have just made my dad wait.",AITA for letting my daughter decide whether to meet her grandfather (my dad),NTA -1127vdg,"Was talking to a friend and shared some private thoughts, only at the end of the conversation did I realize that someone else was in the car.I asked him if someone was there and turns out it was his newish girlfriend who I haven't even met yet. Got pretty pissed at him and told him phone etiquette 101 is to let someone know if they're on speaker if someone else is there. However he didn't do it maliciously. I've known him my whole life and he just doesn't have very high social awareness, and didn't realize it was wrong. AITA for getting pissed?",AITA for getting upset at a friend who put me on speaker without telling me his GF was in the car?,NTA -1127nnu,"As a bit of context, I (31F) have two sisters who I will call A and Z. A has one child, and Z has been trying for a baby but hasn’t managed to get pregnant.When A was pregnant she told me and didn’t tell Z. When Z found out she was hugely upset that she had been excluded from the news and told us both so, she was sobbing crying and it was very dramatic. A didn’t tell Z because they have a difficult relationship that stems back to Z being very similar to our mother who was very high strung and not a great parent and mercilessly bullied A. I do not think this is particularly fair but I try not to get involved in their relationship with each other, and didn’t think it was my news to share so didn’t tell Z either - not an explanation Z was very happy with when I explained.This is where I think IATA. I am pregnant and have told A and not Z. I know this will make Z feel very left out and the longer I wait the worse the outcome, and the more left out and hurt she will feel. I have two reasons for not telling Z but telling A.1.) Z has been trying to get pregnant and because of how high strung she is I think me being pregnant is going to tip her over the edge. She has been having panic attacks and I do not want to make it worse.2.) Selfishly I want to enjoy being pregnant and not deal with the dramatics of it. I have been trying for a long time, and didn’t think this was something that would happen for us, and just want to share the news with people who will be positive and happy for us.Number two is why I think I might be the AH the most. I am doing something which I know will hurt Z and I could’ve just not told A.AITA?Edit: to be clear there is no way Z will find out from anyone else. The only person in our family who knows is A who will not tell her, and some colleagues at work because I had to tell them to explain throwing up at work. She will find out from me, I just haven’t worked out when and how yet.Edit 2: I should probably have added more context to the relationship originally - I love Z very much and absolutely want to continue having a close relationship with her. She is smart, kind, caring, beautiful, and can be very supportive. Most of the time she is great, and being high strung and sometimes unpredictable are parts of her personality that I accept as just parts of her because none is perfect, I just try to be careful with these aspects of her. This is a very specific circumstance and not reflective of our relationship as a whole.",AITA for not telling my sister I’m pregnant,NTA -112bqr9,"My (16, M) family has a pet parrot. They are all pretty much obsessed with him and my younger and older sisters both keep buying him toys, new food, making him new fruit and vegetable mixes to try out etc. My parents also pay a lot of attention to him and even set up the extra room we have for his cage so he can sleep better at night. He has been with us for a few months now and my family's obsession still hasn't died down.I've been mostly indifferent since I'm not the biggest fan of animals and my parents keep him away from my room. Luckily for me it seems like he doesn't like me anyways so it's even easier to avoid him flying to my shoulder or anything like that. The problem though is that today my sister Emma (10,F) was talking quietly to that bird. She was holding him and saying things like ""You know I love you right?"" and kissing him on the head while the parrot would just mimic the sound. It went on for a while and she repeated that enough that it seemed like she was looking for a response so I told her ""You know he doesn't understand you right"". After I said that she just looked at me and made a sour face and ignored me. I didn't want her to actually believe this bird can understand what she is saying since she watches a lot of Disney movies so I feel like they could have given her the wrong idea. I gently explained to her that it's just a bird and that he doesn't understand things like we do. She told me to stop bothering her and ended up leaving the room and told my mom about it.My mom told me she believed it was harmless for my sister to talk to her pet and that the bird ""reciprocated her feelings"". So I told her that this will harm my sister's way of thinking and get her bullied at school. She told me to drop it and not get involved anymore. AITA? I think my sister is old enough to understand what I'm saying and my mom is just too nice.",AITA for not letting my sister believe that she can talk to a bird?,YTA -111xmrc,"I (21F) got kicked out in December last year because my Roommate (31F) wanted that her mom moved in with her, fast forward to now, I didn’t pay any extra costs (water/electricity) because she kicked me out.Now she demands I pay her because her Mother moves in next month and my Roommate had to pay everything by herself.She even packed all my stuff and put them in front of the house so she can clean everything, She also took my Cat and brought her to my Mother because she didn’t wanted any of my stuff left in the Apartment.Now she is giving me a hard time at work (we work together) because I refuse to pay her the 350€ extra costs although I’m still on the lease.Since December I live with my Mother and even she says I shouldn’t pay her something but I kinda feel like the Asshole because I’m still on the lease. So … am I the Asshole?",AITA for refusing to pay the extra costs to my Roommate after she kicked me out.,NTA -112agss,"I 18f have been with my bf Sean19 since we were 16. Im currently 7 months pregnant and have started planning my babyshower.My bf mom Tracy is also pregnant. None of us are supportive over this. She has a total of 7 kids with different dads she don’t take care of. The oldest being my bf and the youngest being 2. She is out all the time, everywhere but home taking care of her kids. Her older children take care of the younger ones.Tracy has never liked me, it started in the beginning of our relationship when I witnessed some of the things she said to the children and I spoke up and got involved. Since then she’s hated me and berated me any chance she can get, even accusing me of not being pregnant, or the baby not being her sons.So now anyways she’s planning babyshower number 7(unethical I know) and we find out she’s having it on the same day as us. She demands us to change our date because she wants her son at her babyshower. We told her no, she should change her date because I am further along then her. She got angry and said she had the date picked out and it’s not fair because the family will be at ours instead of hers because it’s our first baby. She’s since been sending Sean angry text messages, instigating, then saying harsh things about me and how I’m brainwashing him about her. Maybe if I did change my date this would go smoother but I shouldn’t have too.",AITA for not changing my babyshower date because it’s the same as my bf mom,NTA -112706z,"I just recently got engaged and have started planning my wedding. During planning the topic of who will give me away came up. For context I have lived solely with my mom for the past 5 years of my life and only see my dad for holidays. My dad was adamant that he would be the one to give me away and when I asked why she said ""you are my property because I'm your father so I have to be the one to give you to your husband"". I was very upset by this and told him if anyone was going to walk me down the isle it would be my mom. That was a few months ago and he has since apologized and said he ment it as a joke but I think he's just saying that so ill let him give me away. I still want him to come to my wedding but I don't feel comfortable with him giving me away.TLDR: my dad said I was his property so now I don't want him to walk me down the isle.",AITA for not wanting my dad to walk me down the isle?,NTA -112aa2c,"I go to a university gym in the morning and it is quite large so there are multiple areas with varying degrees of vacancy. After my lift, I went to one of the less busy and comparatively (to the lifting section) more secluded areas to stretch. Idk how to describe it perfectly, but basically down the long and very wide walkway, there's an area on both sides to work out in, one side with pads (where I was stretching) and the other with free weights (where a woman was). While this area is a bit more secluded, you can still see the main area of the gym and there is ton of foot traffic.I have like a 10-15 minute stretching routine, and a couple of minutes into it, I noticed that this woman kept looking at me and she was getting increasingly annoyed. A couple of minutes of that had passed and I gave an awkward little nod/wave which seemed to annoy her. After a few more minutes still, I was almost done, but she came over visibly distraught and asked if I could move somewhere else to do finish my workout since it made her uncomfortable being back here alone. I told her that I was sorry she was uncomfortable, but that I wouldn't be moving. She said that it was ""rude and a little creepy"" that I wasn't willing to do that to move and that ""I would understand if I were a woman"", but I just gave her a bit of a shrug and continued my stretching and I thought she left.As I was finishing up and wiping down the equipment, she came back with a gym employee, said again that I was creepy and that I was watching her work out. I don't really know what she expected this visibly uncomfortable college student to do. He literally didn't say anything the entire exchange because I was just like ""I'm leaving anyways"" so that was the end of that except for now I'm possibly on the gym's radar as being a creep.",AITA for refusing to move where I was working out to make a woman more comfortable?,NTA -1129rc2,"Updated for fixing misspelleds. I know I sounds like TA already. Please bear with me.I have been trying to lose weight forever. Every time he bought me surgary treats, such as cupcakes, I would get upset. I told him I want healthy snacks.We have both been trying to lose weight but I am the more disciplined one. I go to the gym almost daily and he won't go unless I ""encourage"" him daily. Deep down I think he is feeling insecure that if I lose weight successfully, people would start to compliment me and pursue me. Yesterday, he bought me the kind of cup cakes that I like. As soon as I saw them, I asked him why. I was very upset. I told him I don't want surgary foods so many times that he should know by the now. He was upset I didn't appreciate his gift. I was upset he didn't listen. You can't give me something I specifically say I don't want repeatedly and expect me to be grateful. This is self serving. How should I do differently? Now the air is so thick I could cut it thru a knife. Should I have acted differently? We are both pissed.AITA I didn't appreciate my bf's Valentine gift? He gave me high calorie unhealthy cupcakes that I told him not to repeatedly. What could I have done differently? I scolded him. I told him it was self serving. We are both pissed off. PS I take Ambien. When I am ~~in~~ on Ambien, I eat uncontrollably. That's why I don't store unhealthy foods in ~~hour~~ house",AITA I told my bf his Valentine gift was self serving,NTA -112a4ar,"My wife has been depressed for 3+ years. It's bad. In her own words, she takes no joy in anything, has no interest in anything, and in general can't do much more than exist. Our sex life is nonexistent. I try my absolute best to be supportive. I will drop what I'm doing whenever she has the opportunity to engage in hobbies so I can watch after our child while she goes out. I do this every single time for her. I supported her seeking therapy, I try to provide good advice to her when she tries new medications and struggles to see results. I put up with all of her criticisms and lashing-out with patience and nonjudgement.A week or so ago. I broke down because she could clearly tell I was in a bad mood and told her everything. How I didn't feel like a partner any more, just like a caregiver. How we never do anything together because she puts zero attempt into sharing interests. How frustrated I get going out every day and seeing happy couples doing happy things and engaging with each other, how other couples have healthy sex lives. I can't stop wondering - is this just going to be the rest of my life? Our discussion was almost entirely focused on how placing all the focus on her the last few years has left no room for me. Then - and this is the asshole part - the weight issue came up - I said again that I think it is a huge contributing factor for her depression. It's been uncontrolled weight gain the past few years, except when she was pregnant ironically enough. I'm not a hypocrite in this regard, I work very hard to stay in great shape and exercise is a big part of my life. But I'm concerned about her. After a certain point it gets offputting. I will add that I've been depressed. Bad enough to go to the hospital. I've lost the weight. I've been through the struggles she's going through. She's mentioned not being happy with her body many, many times, and alternates between wanting to lose weight and wanting to accept herself as she is. She obviously fixated on this comment and it really upset her.I want to support her, I really do. If being at her current weight means she can come out of her depression, obviously I would support that over her losing weight and staying depressed. And I don't want to paint too bleak a picture of her - she's a wonderful mother to our child and works very hard. We've gone to marriage counseling and she's made some good progress on being critical and judgmental of me, but after three years of that it's still hard to get past being treated that way. I just don't know what to do or who to turn to. I don't know how to approach the issues with her, or even if I should. I can't get sucked into being her therapist and I don't feel like I can communicate my needs as a husband without feeling guilty. ",AITA for telling my depressed wife how I feel?,NTA -111xmbd,"I’m a married fem gay man. My best friend was a huge part of our wedding. When she got engaged, she made it clear that she wanted both me and my husband to be in her wedding. She said she wanted me on her side with the rest of her bridesmaids. But, I noticed that my friend was being distant so I asked her and she said that she didn't want to talk. I work with her cousin, so when I went to work, I asked about my friend. Her cousin said my friend was upset because my husband wasn't going to be in the wedding. I asked why, she said ""because you're not in it."" That was the first I'd heard of it.I asked my husband and other friend who was in the wedding and they both said the decision to remove me from the wedding was made A WEEK PRIOR. My husband said that he was invited tuxedo shopping but I couldn't come. He said that if I couldn't be there, he didn't want to be in the wedding. I thought about what I was going to say and texted her. I asked why she didn’t want me in it and why she didn't tell me.&#x200B;After I sent that text, an unknown number had called my husband. He didn't answer, I called them back. It was my friend's soon-to-be MIL, she had given her his number. She said that we did not care about our friend and that we were the reason her mental health was poor. She went as far as saying that if something bad had happened to her, it would be our fault. She said that they wanted to make sure she had a ""traditional"" wedding and that they couldn't have me up there with her. I cursed out the MIL and hung up on her. When my friend asked why I did, I just said she had no right to say what she said.Later, my friend wanted us all to meet up and talk. We spoke with my friend, her mother and a couple from their church. Immediately, me and my husband were screamed at about how we didn't care about her and how we're making this all about us. Her mom yelled at my husband that he wasn’t allowed to back out of the wedding and that it isn't his decision. They said that the reason they couldn't have me in the wedding was because it went against their religion to ""honor a homosexual marriage"". I was angry, so I yelled about how it wasn't fair that they couldn't have told me the truth and that I had to hear about it from her cousin. Or I was the only one who they had to exclude. They said that they weren't excluding me. I said ""you are if my husband is there and I'm not."" One half of the gay couple was still going to be present. They said we're taking it too personal and that we need to ""see it from their POV."" It felt like excuses. I asked if it was because I was more fem presenting. I only got a ""well.""We left, I felt worse. I didn't feel like there was any closure or resolution. I'm not even sure if I want to even continue trying to salvage this friendship. I don’t want to make the situation worse, but I don't even want to go to the wedding. Should I have just left it alone and not said anything or AITA for confronting my friend about it?",AITA for causing a scene over my friend's wedding plans?,NTA -1129e1f," I - F 22, have a younger brother M-15. My younger brother was always getting everything he wanted. For example, when I was 10, I would get PSP console as a Christmas gift. When my younger brother noticed that I had something he did not have, my mother would throw everything to give him whatever he wanted.It was going like that for years, most of the things my brother wanted were video games or new electronics. My parents divorced when I was 8 and from that time, my father would try to stay away from every conflict. Since my mother gave my little brother electronics so early, he has been addicted to video games pretty much his whole life. It also had an impact on his social life. when I was 15 I decided to move to my father since my mother treated it as an offence in her direction, she would not let me meet with my brother. I finally met him when I was 17 and he was 10, I was terrified. He was basically failing all his school subjects, had no real hobby, didn't have any friends or will to socialise and would only be talking about video games.Later that day I called my mother and asked her, what happened to my brother. She basically told me that she does not have time to fight with him about not playing video games anymore and that she won't control the time he is spending on homework or sports. She got really mad back then and said some harsh things for example telling my mother that if she can not take care of her own kid, maybe she should let my brother live with my father. I also said that my brother should lose weight. She got really mad at me back then.After that, we have not spoken for 5 years. Yesterday, my mother called me in tears and said that my father wants to have full custody of my brother. She also said that I and my father don't understand her way of taking care of my brother and that she only knows showing love by giving expensive gifts. I told her that I understand that she was struggling, but 15 years is a dumb age and giving him all the freedom and expensive gifts, won't make him mature. After all, he is 15 and he is not able to cook himself anything other than instant noodles or do laundry on his own - basically, he is not in a possession of any normal living human skills.My mother wanted me to talk to my father and tell him that she should stay with my brother. I refused. I told her that for my brother's good, she should let my father take care of him for some time. He is a strict man and at first, it probably won't be easy for my brother but he will keep an eye on him and won't let him play video games all day just to please him. I know also that my father will put my brother on diet and I know my brother will hate it. He probably is also gonna hate it. I understand that my brother will be unhappy for some time, but it all is for his physical and mental health. When I told my mother all those things, she said that I am an a-hole who never really cared for my brother or her, which lead to me wondering - AITA?",AITA for telling my mother she should give away taking care of my brother to my father?,NTA -1122h7l,"Background info: I live parts of the year in a tourist town where my family owns a four bedroom apartment. I stay here every high season and rent out the three other bedrooms to tourists. A month ago a worker in the tourist industry contacted me, desperate for a place to live. I'd never met him and I wasn't looking for a long term tenant, but since two of my friends vouched for him I decided to help him out and offered him to live here. I warned him that there would be short term roommates/guests in the last two bedrooms coming and going throughout the season, and that he should look for somewhere else to live if that would bother him. He moved in before I got back, and lived alone here for a month before I arrived. During this time he's gotten into the habit of watching TV on the projector in the living room every night. That's fine when he's alone or it's just the two of us, but the first tourist will soon arrive, and having a TV on in the living room changes the vibe of the place completely. It occupies the whole common area (living room with open kitchen) and people will be afraid to start a conversation when someone's watching TV. I'm afraid it will make guests withdraw to their bedrooms instead of gathering in the living room to ask me questions about the town, talk about their day and just being social together. My roommate tells me that he expects to be able to sit in the living room and watch TV every night after work like he does now, and if the tourists don't like it they can go to their rooms. He lives here and has more rights than them, the way he sees it. I tried to explain to him that they all have the same rights and need to show consideration for eachother. And that I warned him from the start that the tourists are my main priority during high season and that they pay 4 times more per week than him. He has a large TV in his bedroom, but his room is small and he doesn't want to sit there all night. The projector was installed just a few months ago, and I got it because I wanted to be able to play multiplayer video games with guests and maybe have a movie night once in a while. It was never meant to be on for five hours every night, showing all sorts of reality shows that only one person is interested in watching. I also never told him before he moved in that there would be a projector here, so it's not like that's something he expected or was promised. I've previously had workers living here long term, and none of them expressed any desire to have a TV in the living room. The living room has been a nice place to gather, and that's how I want it to be again. It was a mistake of me to ever buy that projector. I told him yesterday that the projector is coming down when the first tourists arrives, and now he thinks I'm an asshole for removing his right to watch TV in the living room to rewind after work. AITA?",AITA for removing the projector so my roommate can't watch TV in the living room?,NTA -112bxxv,"My (28M) younger sister (24F) has two kids, my 4 year old niece and my 2 year old nephew. We have the same mum and dad, but our father comes from a family with a lot more elders than our mums side of the family, so we have been to more than a few funerals on his side.Important things to note, my sister is a single mother and I help with the kids. They spend weekends and a few evenings a week at my house. I am one of their emergency contacts at daycare and I love them to pieces. Both families have this thing about the entire family being at funerals, this pretty much means everyone and their pets, so we have a fool proof system with the kids; their favourite quiet toys, old phones with Bluetooth headphones, colouring books and when they get restless, we take turns taking walks outside. We sit in the back, closest to the door for quick and quiet access. We usually only go for a couple walks with them but it’s better then letting them get loud and fussy. Recently, our aunt passed away on our mothers side and we went to the funeral, armed with our plan and it went great. The kids played quietly, watched videos and took walks outside or potty breaks as we needed; they were very well behaved. There was no noise or fuss from them; obviously they weren’t interested in the service and didn’t watch but they were well behaved. The next day, we both got tons of messages and calls scolding us for allowing them to play around when they should have been watching the service and paying their respects, that it’s our job to make them watch because how else will they learn. Some roasted us for having toys. Some roasted us for taking them outside because ‘they need to learn to sit still and be quiet and obedient’ but my sister and I feel that’s unrealistic to expect from a four year old and delusional to expect from a two year old but the volume of calls from our aunts, uncles and cousins are too much. Our goal was to keep them still and quiet because we know there would be no interest in the service, are we the AHs?",AITA for letting my niece and nephew play during a funeral,NTA -112836p,"AITA for not calling my mom on video because it made me feel like a big baby that can't handle it's own life? So for a little context, my parents (F56 and M60) and I (F26) used to have an app just like find my friends. At first I was fine with it because it made me feel safe since we don't live in the same city and in case anything happens to me they would know where i was. But the problem is that with time it became really toxic. My parents would call when I was on dates and ask what am I doing and why I am in a certain place, with whom and so on. Our relationship took a turn and it became controlling and really annoying They would stalk the guys I was seeing and their families on Facebook in order to find out if they are ""trustworthy"". And so at the beginning of my relationship with my current boyfriend I decided to put a stop to it and uninstalled the app. They got mad, told me they've lost their trust in me and with that they started calling me more often on video call. Please keep in mind that I usually phoned them at least 3 or 4 times a day to let them know I'm fine and alive. Fast forward to a month ago. I answered a really late video call with my mom with the phrase, ""have you lost me?"". Since then our relationship became really cold, I refused to call them on video and only phoned them 2 times a day in order to show how fed up I am by their obsessive control problem and that I am old enough to stay alive. Now I am back home and my mom keeps telling me that because I didn't call her for 1 month on video it means I don't love her anymore. So am I the asshole?",AITA for not calling,NTA -111yuox,"One thing my boyfriend and I have in common is our love for video games. We bond over this, calling and playing games almost every night. Every time my boyfriend has asked me to download a game he wanted us to play, I would, and I would genuinely play. I even bought $10, $14, and $40 games just to play with him. I’m even paying a $16 monthly subscription for realms he does not want me to get rid of. I’ve also bought him some small gifts here and there of things he told me he WANTED. Anytime I have suggested games I want him to play with me (they r free games btw), he either completely shuts it down, or he tries and quits immediately. If I do not want to do something he wants, he will not stop begging. Everything he wants to do HAS to happen. Until then, he will continue this. This being said, it’s Valentine’s . I wasn’t expecting him to do anything, but he did. He bought me a $4 game after I told him many times that I have no storage left and am not willing to delete any more games to make space. Not only do I not have space for it, it’s not a game I am interested in at all. I wasn’t expecting a gift, but the gesture was nice…. Except that he just bought me something he wanted to play and I didn’t, so now he can guilt trip me into downloading a game because he paid for it. I didn’t want a gift, and I wish he wouldn't have given me one at all.. but if he were to, it would just be nice for the gift to be for ME, not his ulterior motives. I know this is petty, it’s just something that had been bothering me for a while that goes way past this gift incident. It all factors in . Even the little things.Edit: I’ve told him in the past that it upsets me when he blows off things I suggest or (reasonably) ask of him.",AITA for not accepting my bf’s valentine gift?,NTA -1129t6o,"Last week I(M21) went to a dollar store to grab some cheap snacks for my family's Big Game party. While going down the snack aisle I went past a young kid, (M, maybe 2 or 3), sitting in a pretty full cart playing with a phone. I went past the cart when I heard gunshot sounds and freaked out for a second. Then I realized it came from the kid's phone after he shook it, probably some fake gun noise app. At the other end of the aisle was an older woman (30s) who turned out to be his mom.I spent a few minutes picking snacks and while going back down the aisle the kid was still shaking the phone. I felt like playing around with the kid and after passing his cart I pretended to fall like I was shot after his phone went off. The kid dropped the phone in surprise. I picked up the phone and gave it back to the kid as his mother came up and yelled at me to not touch her phone. I just said sorry and went up to the registers.About 30 seconds later while I was in line she came up behind me demanding money to fix her phone's cracked screen. She blamed me for breaking it since my act made her son drop it. I told her I wouldn't pay because I didn't know whether it was cracked beforehand and because I wasn't the one who left it in the hands of a toddler. She tried to get a cashier to call a manager (The cashier didn't) and kept hassling me until I left the store.I brought up the story during the party and had mixed feedback. Most family said the mom was responsible for her phone but a few uncles said I shouldn't have messed with a stranger's child.",AITA for being the reason a kid broke a phone?,NTA -112bbe3,"I (F25) have a very rocky relationship with my sister (F29). She and I used to be really close, but as we’ve grown into adulthood we’ve drifted pretty far apart. We have very different views on life and she has grown into a very judgmental, hard to be around person. Everyone who knows my sister knows that her life long dream is to be married and have a family. She talks about it constantly. About 5 years ago, she had a long term boyfriend and was so eager to marry him she decided she was going to propose. A week before the planned proposal, he told her he was in love with someone else and broke things off with her. This devastated her, and caused her to become very cynical and unsupportive of the relationships around her, even all these years later. Six months ago, I got engaged to my best friend (let’s call him Cole). Cole proposed out of the blue; even my family didn’t know about it. When I called my sister to tell her the news, she was shocked to say the least. I could tell by her face that she was less than pleased, and all she managed to say was a very monotone “wow” followed up with “I have to go”. We didn’t speak for weeks after that. Finally she called me to “catch up” as she put it, and I expressed to her that I was upset with how she reacted to my news. She told me it was a big surprise and she needed time to process. She continued on to say she thinks the engagement is a bad idea and I would regret it if I went through with marrying Cole. When I asked her why she thought that, she told me I am too young to get married and was rushing into it without thinking it through. A week after that conversation she texted me asking when I was planning on asking her to be my MOH. My sister has never met Cole in person and has only had a few brief interactions with him over FaceTime. I’m talking like hi and bye maybe a handful of times in the year we were dating prior to the engagement. (We live in different states so that’s why they haven’t met in person.) She’s never spoken poorly of him before, so hearing all of this from her was a shock to say the least. I couldn’t imagine having her stand next to me on my wedding day knowing she thought it was a bad idea so I told her she would not be my MOH due to her not being supportive of my relationship. She never answered me and we haven’t talked since. My dad says because she is my only sister it’s her “right” to stand next to me at my wedding. I told him that Cole and I don’t need anyone there that doesn’t support us so she’s lucky she’s even getting an invitation. This has now circulated through the family and some agree with me and other are on my sister’s side. So, AITA?tl;dr My sister was not supportive of my engagement but asked when I was planning to make her my MOH. I told her I wasn’t since she was unsupportive and now my family is divided, some saying it’s her “right” to stand next to me since she’s my only sister.",AITA for telling my sister she will not be my MOH after she didn’t support my engagement?,NTA -1126q9z,"I (32F) have been married to my husband (31M) for almost 9 years. With the exception of the first year of marriage, we have usually been pretty good at communicating. We have fights, but are usually able to work through them and come to a resolution.For the past year, I have really struggled with depression. I started to see a therapist a few months ago, and we have discussed the possibility of going on an antidepressant. I have struggled with the deep wells of despair, feelings of inadequacy, and of worthlessness. My husband is a fairly optimistic, happy guy who has never struggled with these feelings. He doesn’t understand how I can’t just “stop” these feelings and look on the bright side. He doesn’t understand how impossible that feels. I tried to explain to him with an analogy of his own health issues- he has ulcerative colitis, and I asked him how it would make him feel if while he was actively vomiting if I told him to just stop vomiting and he would be fine? He can’t wrap his mind around it.Yesterday after work he asked how I was doing and I said I wasn’t feeling great and when he asked why I said “I don’t know… general feelings of depression?” I must have had an attitude when I responded because he got really defensive and said he was just asking a question I don’t have to be rude. I immediately shut down, and didn’t want to speak to him. It is exhausting having the same conversation over and over that ends in him just not getting it. So, I went about my business, doing the laundry, picking up the house, and he kept telling me I don’t have to be so rude and asking why am I ignoring him. I (calmly) told him that his response to me felt aggressive and that his defensiveness was hard for me. He then got really heated and told me that “he can never say anything right, he’s an awful person, everything he says is so awful” blah blah blah but in that really condescending tone. (If you know you know) I started to cry and (calmly) told him he’s being condescending, and he kept saying he that he wasn’t. So I lost it. I SCREAMED at him, like I’ve never screamed before, that he’s not listening to me and never listens. I threw the laundry. I couldn’t take it. We haven’t spoken since. I don’t feel like he is a safe person to share some of my dark feelings/emotions with, and it scares me because I feel so alone. I acknowledge that I shouldn’t have screamed or threw things- it was a tantrum of magnificent proportions. I could have been calmer, but I had tried that, and I felt like it was the only way he would hear me. But does that make me the AH?",AITA for yelling at my husband that he never listens?,NTA -111xyvr,"Yesterday my (F16) cousins (M3 and F1) came round as usual because my mum gets paid to babysit whilst my aunt works. I took care of them for about an hour because my mum had to drop her friends home. Later on my mum called upstairs to me asking for wet wipes so I threw them down. She started shouting at me to pick them up and hand them to her so I did. No please or thank yous. Then she comes in my room and asks if my cousin (M3) can sleep in bed with me. I was hesitant but said yes because I knew how my mum would react. She obviously heard I was hesitant and started going on a rant about how I'm moody, do nothing to help her. Then she said that I'm not going to look after them tomorrow (she never even asked me to look after them) so she's had to cancel her work. Now she's saying that were not going to have much food because of me and that she will remember how I didn't do anything for her when I want something. Funny thing about this is she's planning to go to the pub with my aunt tonight who's apparently sleeping in my bed which she never even asked me about and just presumes I'm OK with everything. If were going to be struggling with food insecurity because of me, surely she shouldn't be swanning down to the pub spending money and bumlicking my aunt.",AITA for not letting my cousin sleep in the same bed as me?,NTA -1129963,"Quick background, my future MIL is the type of person that thinks a DIL should drop their entire life and serve her MIL. She throws all the things she used to do to “bless” her MIL in my face constantly even after my FH had told her to stop several times. She has confronted me about my brother control saying that because I have an IUD she doesn’t want her son and I to have S because she “doesn’t like that idea of her son just spitting out his babies.” Yeah….. 🤦🏼‍♀️😬anyways! My fiancé is stressed out about out ceremony because his extremely, for lack of a better word, intolerant mom doesn’t know that my aunt (who is gay) is going to officiate our wedding. My fiancé and I talked a lot about this choice and how it would mean so much to me because I didn’t want someone we weren’t close with to do it because it’s such an intimate moment and my aunt is closer to me than my own mother. He’s worried that his mom will make a scene but i told him not to worry because it’s our day and not hers and she doesn’t get a say over it especially since they are the only ones refusing to contribute anything words the wedding.Now the issue with my bridal shower. She is PO that my maid of honor didn’t check with her to see if she was okay with the day and time because she’s mad she will have to leave church early. My own mother even said that was crazy because its a few hours out of one day and it’s not a huge deal and that if going is that important then she doesn’t have to come. My FMIl made a huge deal about it and made her husband come and demand we change the date and time to accommodate her. We chose the Sunday because my aunt (the one officiating) if flying up for my sons birthday party the day before so it works out perfectly. However because it’s from 10 to 3 she would have to miss church for that day and she has been sulking about it for the past 2 weeks. She continues to make comments to the point my FH got involved and told her to stop, which she obviously didn’t give a crap about. Then most recently when I mentioned that I was going to order my 2 future step daughters dresses to wear and she flipped out and demanded that she get to pick what they wear since she doesn’t get to pick when my shower is. This was the straw that broke the camels back. I turned around and I told her that it’s MY shower not hers and if she doesn’t stop she won’t be welcome at all. Normally I wouldn’t mind sitting down and picking out the dresses for the girls with her but given her recent attitude and actions I have no interest in doing that. My FH is on my side but his father is saying I’m being unreasonable and a B. So AITA or is she being selfish and entitled?",AITA for tell my fiancés mom that she doesn’t get to dictate who is the officiant at our wedding or when my bridal shower is?,NTA -112ate1,"I have a coworker named Dan (fake name) who is overall nice and easy to work with, but he never knows what time it is and always asks me, multiple times a day, because I sit next to him and wear a watch to work. At first I didn’t mind telling him the time when he asked, but lately it’s starting to get annoying, especially since there’s literally a clock on the wall right behind him. When I told him this though, he said he doesn’t want to have to read an analog clock. I wouldn’t say him doing this is very disruptive to my work since it only takes a few seconds for me to check, but I started refusing to tell him the time when he asks now (albeit in more of a friendly banter “haha you can check the time yourself” way) because I really see no reason why he can’t do it himself as a grown adult, and plus I’m not responsible for being his personal time keeper. Some of my other coworkers have started calling me petty though since it’s not a lot of trouble on my end, and I’m starting to wonder if I’m in the wrong. AITA?",AITA for refusing to check the time for my coworker?,NTA -1129coi,"Tl;dr  My physics teacher has failed to provide assesments or feedback throughout the school year. He often shows up late, and we are behind on the syllabus. My entire class is struggling in the subject. I planned to talk to him about these things after class, but instead he failed to show up at all. As a result, I went to complain about him to the school director directly. The director said I did the right thing by expressing my concerns and that the matter would be investigated.My teacher was rather upset the next lesson and some of my friends agree I should have talked to him before going to the director. However, he will now provide more feedback and assessments.&#x200B;I'm in the last year of high school. I am in a private international school and it is (too) expensive, so one would expect the quality of teaching to be high as they are paid a lot. However, throughout this school year and the previous one my physics teacher has constantly arrived late to lessons and often his lessons focus on anecdotes instead of actual book material. We are behind on the syllabus and the entire class is uncharacteristically struggling in the subject. We also have had only one marked assessment this year (in September), and he has failed to mark our end of year exams from last year (we have asked about them multiple times), so I do not feel at all confident in Physics. He also was ill during the parent teacher conferences and did not show up to the online meetings. Meanwhile, the feedback he gave for my 11 page research essay, worth 20% of my grade, was ""very good, it has all the elements"", and he has given similar vague and limited feedback to my peers, while we all agree that our write ups are not as good as examples found online. With final exams only a few of months away (May) I planned to talk to him about my concerns after class, but instead he failed to show up at all, or provide any notice. This is probably the third time he has done so this year. Admittedly, we were to lazy to complain about the previous disappearances.Therefore I directly went to complain about him to the school director. The director said that I did the right thing by expressing my concerns and that the matter would be investigated.My physics teacher was rather upset the next lesson, and some of my friends agreed with him that I should have talked to him before going to the principle. I agree that going behind his back was a ""dick move"", but I'm not sure if it is enough to make me the asshole. I think all his shortcomings, even on their own, are serious and warrant action, especially missing lessons and not providing forms of assessment. Furthermore he has a long history of such behaviour so I think talking to him would not have changed much. Now he is actually providing feedback to our write ups and showing up on time. &#x200B;So Reddit, AITA?",AITA for complaining about my physics teacher behind his back?,NTA -1128lgc,"This morning my wife and I got into an argument because I asked her whether I should buy her anything for Valentine's Day. By itself I understand my wife being upset and see her point, as I shouldn't even have to ask such a question, if I wanted to get her something as a gift then I would, but context matters so here is some.we've been together 8 years married just about 6 years, over that time I've bought my wife many flowers and gifts throughout Valentine's day. As we grew up, we bought each other less gifts of luxury and both decided money for such things was better spent on others. Even so I'd still buy her flowers, I'd even get her flowers sometimes because sometimes I'd see she was having a tough time recently and needed a pick me up. recently she's been outright telling me buying flowers is not needed by saying things like:&#x200B;* ""How much did you spend on that?* ""Don't waste money on flower, I'm sure they're expensive since it's the holiday they just die anyway""* ""Be honest, I'm not really CRAZY about flowers but it's nice to receive them""&#x200B;So last night I told her, I didn't get you anything, and I know you probably didn't I just wanted to tell you beforehand so you don't get upset. She was fine with it and didn't seem upset in the least.I don't recall the exact conversation this morning but the subject came around that she said something to the affect of ""I'm expecting to receive something from you for valentines day"" the tone which seemed annoyed. So I asked ""Do I need to get you something, so you're not upset? I thought you were ok"" that's when she got really pissed because I had to gall to ask such a question. Some of you might point out why not get something else? chocolates? a small gift? some sort of dinning experience. Which in the past we would have done, but now here are all the obstacles I have to avoid to find something appropriate:&#x200B;* Don't buy flowers (they're stupid expensive around Valentines and they just die, not her favorite pointless)* Don't buy her favorite chocolate (she is on a diet and trying hard to lose weight, I don't want her to tease her like that)* Don't buy her alcohol because she is on her period and refuses to drink when she is* Don't buy her clothes (she knows her style/fit best) even when I actively try to get her to buy her own clothes she can't even decide. (still trying to find a new bra for 2 years)* Don't buy her small gifts or doodads (she is part of an amazon group which has large discounts to buying most things outright would be a waste of money* Don't go out to eat because we often cook at home for better cheaper and like paying a 20% fee on top of already inflated prices.I just feel she is being a hypocrite by giving me all these signals and reasons to not get her anything then gets mad at me because she insinuated actually wants to receive something today, and I ask her if she actually wants something.&#x200B;So who's the ass?","AITA For Asking My Wife, if I Should Buy Her Something",NTA -1121nqf,"Recently the idea of moving out has been circling my mind. As I'm about to be 19 in April, I decided it was time for me to mature in several ways. The main one is financially independence and, later on, total independence. I (18m) still live with my parents, my younger brother (15m), and my older sister (21F). The main reason is finance related. My dad is switching jobs soon and is taking a sizable pay decrease. It's not a permeant pay decrease, so by this time next year, he will be back to his average pay. But, in the year that it decreases, my parents are making my sister and I pay rent"" to accommodate the lost income. My rent is being used to pay for Things like cable TV, a cleaning service, and spending my brother's allowance, to name a few. Finally, I want some more freedom. I want to do things how I want, when I what, and with the supplies I like. I want to be able to choose what I want to cook and choose what ingredients to use. I want to be able to use the cleaning supplies I want; I hate having my room smell like lavender due to every cleaning supply being scented that way. It is just that simple, and I want to do things my way for once. I have been planning this entire moving-out idea for the past couple of weeks. I have accounted for most problems that have come up. For things like various insurances, I have gotten significant discounts through some friends with a Family and Friends discount. Groceries and supplies can be taken care of through local stores and their considerable student discounts. Even without these discounts, I make enough to live solo, and if I choose to have some friends join me, I can live highly comfortably. While I was working on this plan, I made a big mistake. I left my budget spreadsheet, apartment comparison list, and several essential documents open on my pc, while I was away. My sister saw these documents after she told my brother, and when I got home, I was cornered by the two. They told me how doing this in the dark was wrong and that I should have been open about my plan so my parents could plan for my missing rent. Now they have given me two weeks to come clean or cancel my project before they tell my parents about my plan.While I agree that doing this in the dark was shady, they still have no say in what I plan or do. I have tried to explain that if I did explain my plan to my parent, all they would do is guilt trip me and poke holes in my project. Now I have about a week and a half to decide what I want to do. And I'm starting to feel like an asshole for keeping this in the dark.","WIBTA for secretly planning to move out over ""petty reasons""",NTA -112a7ex,"As a music teacher in an public school, I faced difficulties with a colleague who I considered a friend until she became envious when the principal allowed me to start a club but not her at this time (the reasoning is complicated but not important to the story, trust that it makes sense why). She then started to make negative comments about my music class in front of her students, including saying that ""her class is better than music."" She continued this behavior by telling me to my face she tells the kids ""that's not music"" and even purposely took one of my metal instruments and started banging it in the hallway stating ""this is what the music teacher taught me.""After this I reported her behavior to both principals, they had a conversation with her and told her because she involved the students in the…... Let's call it teasing.... That her career could be in serious jeopardy, but because I did not label it as harassment she avoided it affecting her career.Now she's not talking to me and things are quite awkward being that we share a space that we spend quite a bit of time in.I am wondering if I did the right thing by reporting her or am I the asshole for how I handled it?",AITAH for reporting colleagues abrasive teasing?,NTA -1127lem,"Sorry if formatting is off posting from my phone. So I get married next year and am having a mid sized wedding with my family and friends attending. We have started planning this already, including who to invite. Now my partner has no family to invite they passed away before we met so it would just be my family attending among them I have my aunt Jackie we will call her, she is an acholholic and has been very toxic in the past just some examples I will give she gets so drunk she starts fights like once at a child's birthday party she started a fight with my mum saying we didn't support her when she lost her husband this isn't true we looked after her 2 sons helped her sort his funeral out visited and had her over whenever she needed someone paid to take her and her 2 sons on holiday with us so she didn't have to do her first holiday alone etc. 2nd incident (she has since remarried) she went away for a weekend with my mum and sister where they were staying in her static caravan and on a night out left with another man leaving my mum and sister without keys to the caravan or a lift home rhis resulted in my sister banning her from another weekend trip, so she stole from me to guilt my sister into paying her deposit back. She has also physically attacked my sister, my mum and her own friends while drunk to the point police had to be called and never apologised for a single thing she has done.My parents say I should invite her to keep rhe peace hut i really don't want her to share our day.",WIBTA if I didn't invite my aunt to my wedding,NTA -1129qsq,I now have 9 (soon to be 10) nieces and nephews and I have yet to go to any of their birthday parties. All of them are below the age of 5 and I told myself that I would start going when they will remember me showing up. I’m a single 29 yo guy and I always thought it would be awkward for me to go to a toddler’s birthday solo and just hang around especially since I’m the only childless and nonpartnered person who would be there. I am the only single brother and the youngest by 4 years. Most of the convos we have are about the weather and why I’m still single. To preface this my step brothers have all said they definitely understand me not going and they really don’t expect me to show up at all. However their wives are extremely passive aggressive about it lately and I’m definitely getting mixed messages. Am I the asshole for this whole situation?Edit: I want to make it clear that I’m not an absent uncle and I am the funcle. I show up with hot wheels at big occasions for them and buy the kids books when I’m at a book store. I’m not the best with kids but I’m getting better. Also my brother has only shown up to 2-3 of the birthdays and his wife is currently pregnant.,AITA for not going to my nieces and nephews birthday parties,NTA -112bk4p,"Me 20F and my guy friend 25M have been very good friends for a year and a half. We communicate well and overall he's a very kind and nice person. I truly appreciate him, however his behavior has become very arrogant since he lost weight and I dont know how to deal with it. He has struggled his whole life with being overweight, so i suggested he started going to the gym, to which he agreed and it made me so happy seeing him reach his goal of being mentally and physically well. But..the only bad side is, that it has taken a huge toll on his ego. He's lost a lot of weight and I'm extremely proud of him for reaching his potential, however I wish he would stop treating me like im lesser than him. Ever since he's been going to the gym, I feel like our conversations have one thing in common and that is making me feel stupid and him trying to feel superior, but I wouldn't mind if his statements had facts to back them up. Instead, he uses terms like ""oh my god you're so stupid"" ""you don't really think that, do you?"" ""Why dont you do go to the gym often like me?"". When we hang out, he directs very intimate and personal questions towards myself, such as my family life, sex life, personal likings and such things like that, but makes fun of the answers I give him. He usually uses my answers against me at a later date which makes me cry when i come home because i have been humiliated and bullied many times and it brings back memories. Other thing, when we hung out before, we both made an effort to plan where we are going and when, but now, it's only me reaching out and asking if he even wants to hang out. We made a plan for this Valentine's day, since we're both single and lonely, to hang out together and get snacks, we both thought it would be fun. However, that was my idea as well as the place we were going to, I planned it. I left it on him to let me know at what time he's free today so we can go out. He knows that he should tell me at least a few hours in advance so I have time to get ready. We planned it days before and he never reached out, not even today to let me know if he's free. I texted him earlier saying that something important had popped up for me and wanted to inform him that even if he wants to hang out tonight, I couldn't do it. I reached out of respect to inform him, because I knew he wouldnt do plan anything unless its me asking or texting him first. I just feel like a puppy begging him to hang out most of the time. It's all me doing the work,and it's just a one sided friendship that drains my energy and mood. I always feel tired when I go home after out hangout cause he makes me feel so inferior to him. He replied with ""got it, i just dont know why you think this is okay"" and i replied with ""what do you mean?"" He hasn't answered since, and you know what? I feel okay. I would much rather stay home than beg someone to hang out and have a shit time AITA For cancelling a plan with a friend after he didn't reach out and makes me uncomfortable?",AITA For cancelling tonights plans with a friend because he makes me uncomfortable?,NTA -112cis6,"i had booked our tickets to enter the club to make sure me & my friend (lets call her M) would get in. i was upset since we had planned to go there for ages but M started making things up to try put me off such as exaggerate the entry feei ask where she wanted to go & said we can start in the club she wanted and end in the club we had originally plannedwe start driving to a shopping centre 45 min away. about 30 min into the journey M asks if we can go to another shopping centre which was an hour in the opposite direction since she had seen a hoodie she wanted there previously. being the yes man that i am i started going back the other waywe get to the shopping centre M finds what she wanted but it costs more than she thought. M then said she cant afford to pay for her food if she gets the hoodie so i offered to pay for dinner to stick to the planwe start driving home i say im excited to get ready together once we get back. M goes ‘i need to be alone to get ready’. this completely killed the mood it was also rude since she had just assumed my mum (who was taking us) would collect her on the waywe get to town we go to the club she wanted. around 10pm M said her sister had arrived in town was going to the club i had wanted to go to so M said we could join the queue with her sister. we get to the club and theres two queues. a short one and a long one. we go with her sister to the normal queue and i say we can take the fast track queueplease note her sister was with her friends as well so i was in no way trying to leave her alone Ms sister then started asking why i hadnt got her & her friends tickets so they could come with us. i didnt even know they were going & M had asked for it to be just me and herwe were in the queue for about 30 min then the club said they were going to turn people away since the club was full. i asked M if we could go in the fast queue since i really dont want to miss outshe gave in. we get into the club it was great. for 5 min. we were dancing until she said she was hot needed air. we then spent the next 2 hours going to the toilets & outside as M was complaining she was too hot & needed to pee every 5 min. i follow her every time since i’m not gonna leave her on her ownM then got a text that her other sister had arrived. i spent the night following them whilst they all did shots togetheri was so sad & asked if we could go home. we agreed wed go home after the countdownM celebrated at midnight with her sisters whilst i just stood there. she then came up to me said ‘lets go’. i said that all i wanted to do was dance & we (i) had put so much effort into the night & shouldn’t give upM said that i made her stay where she was uncomfy & when i asked to leave, she had been supportive. M said im a bad friend & walked out. i followed as i don’t want M to walk around on her own & to make sure she got home safei get home and she messages me saying to stop sulking as its been a good night",AITA for how i acted on NYE?,NTA -1122icd,"Last week, my coworker Nancy and I went out for lunch, for which she borrowed money from me(around $50). She said that she'd transfer them as soon as we went back to the office, but she did not. So, during lunch two days later, I tell her to either transfer the money or give it to me in cash by the next day(I don't usually have cash on me and needed some for that day). She said she would just give me cash the next day.The next day comes, and she doesn't text me or anything till lunch hour, which is odd given that we grab morning tea together. She pings me as soon as she gets to the office. During lunch, I again reminded her about the cash, and she said that she'd give me when we go back in the office. I remind her that I am leaving after lunch and really need cash.We go back, and a few minutes later, she comes in and tells me that she couldn't get any cash from the ATM machine, which is just down in the lobby of the office. This is how the conversation goes, Me: Is the ATM not working? I really needed cash. What should I do?(IDK what I said wrong, as far as I know even my tone wasn't aggressive or even slightly annoyed, but in a very rude way she exploded on me like, )Nancy: Dude, I am not going to run away with your money. If you really needed cash, you should have had it on you by now. Just borrow it from someone in the office. I will give it back to you. Get off my back.TBH, I was taken aback and went quiet. She must have seen my face drop as she said,Nancy: I am sorry, you are not angry with me for what I just said, right?Me: (quiet)Nancy: You know this is how I am and how I speak, so just deal with it.Me: (quiet)Nancy: Okay, I have already apologised, and it's on you that you aren't speaking. I ended up leaving. After giving it much thought, I told her that unless she apologised to me sincerely, I won't talk to her or have a transactional relationship with her. And that I won't take her sh!t just cause SHE IS JUST LIKE THAT. My other coworker has been saying that I am the AH for not talking to her and expecting her to apologise again and that I should be the bigger person and let it slide and not mention it to her asking to apologise again. I have also been told to just deal with her behaviour cause SHE IS JUST LIKE THAT. But I refuse to be treated in that way since I don't treat her that way.So, is it AITA for that?P.S. this isn't the first time she has said something condescending or bad to me.Edit: Refusing to speak with her = = not going to lunch with her anymore and be friendly, but still remaining civil when talked to. Just not being close like a friend.",AITA for refusing to talk to a coworker unless she apologises?,NTA -112c4te,"So me and childhood best friend got a house together we rent and things were good. Untill I noticed small things like him claiming certain things around the house like the garage he claimed the living room and I was like okay whatever it’s not a big deal right? And then it started to get more serious, for example one time I Parked in the driveway after work and went to take a nap and when I woke up I would find my car moved onto the side of the house and his vehicle moved into the driveway, and my keys moved without asking or warning. Then he would always say it’s “my house” to other people and even if I would correct him he’d give me a death stare. And then one day I confronted him about it and was then told I’m living in their house and I basically just rented a room. That just didn’t make sense because we both rented from a landlord so that didn’t make sense either way to me. Now later on we bring in the third roommate who is a mutual friend who came in about 11 months into us living there who took the third room and the 3rd roommate notices the same issues and problems I’ve Bsf roomate had blown up about me having a convo with with said S/O about nothing just simply how’s it going since we ran into eachother in the living room otw out the door and I haven’t had any contact in over a month with Bsf roommate because of it because roomate decided to blow up about it. I’ve since found out im not the only one who’s gotten treated like that for having a conversation with his S/O I’ve tried talking and being nice but nothing is given in return I’m just met by silence so I have found another friend who is in need of a roommate and have agreed to leave and go with them since I am at the end of my lease however I am only giving them a 15 day notice of it because he wants to stay and probably expected me to also stay.Basically don’t want to live with someone who doesn’t want me there AITA for leaving on such short notice and without warning that’s my concern and I think this would completely crumble the friendship although I have given plenty of opportunity to fix things I think I might be the asshole for just exiting the situation in the way I am.",AITA for moving out?,NTA -112bvnn,"My (30m) mother (63F) was diagnosed with cancer at the start of the pandemic, and I moved in with her to take care of her for about a year and a half. In the time between her diagnosis and the availability of vaccines, I basically did not leave her house because she was high risk while she was on chemo. A friend of my mother (60sF) would also drive her to and from chemo treatments once every two weeks. After my mother fully recovered from cancer, unfortunately, this friend’s husband was diagnosed with cancer. My maternal grandmother died in December… and this friend’s mother died in January. Suffice to say, there has been a lot of trauma bonding between these two people.Thing is, this friend has said some absolutely vile shit to me in the past, and is a consistently rude person who talks over me and belittles me. She’s been friends with my mother for roughly a decade after I introduced them (she was the surrogate mother of a childhood friend), and in that decade I made it very clear to my mother that I refuse to associate with her, though my mother claims ignorance of how deep my antipathy for this woman goes.My grandmother had dementia for a decade before she died, and her memorial service is explicitly a celebration of her life. My mother’s friend, simply put, never had a chance to get to know my grandmother. So I was very surprised to find out yesterday that this woman was not only invited, but was also playing music at the funeral. I told my mother that I was not comfortable with her being there, let alone being on stage, and my mother refuses to disinvite her. I am now saying that I refuse to go if she will be there. In the course of our multi-day argument, I found out that this woman invited HERSELF to the funeral after my mother mentioned it in her presence, and when I pointed out this friend likes to dress inappropriately to social functions, my mother even conceded that it was a good idea to “have a talk” with her to make sure she dresses appropriately for a funeral. I pointed out to my mother that a woman whose mother just died, who invited herself to a funeral, who routinely says nasty things about her son to her face, and who needs to be told how to dress for a funeral, **should not be invited to the funeral, and should definitely not be given a stage to perform on**.My mother says that this friend is emotionally fragile, and disinviting her would “destroy” her- my mother is emotionally fragile too, it’s her mother’s funeral, and I’m emotionally fragile too, it’s my grandmother. As someone whose presence at the funeral is not merely requested, but required, I believe that I should have veto power over the guest list or *at least know who the guests are*, but I’ve been kept in the dark about the planning process. If I refuse to go to the funeral, would I be the asshole?",AITA for refusing to go to my grandmother's funeral because of a guest my mother invited?,YTA -112bd7l,"I (14F) have recently found that there is a culture day at school soon and we are required to wear cultural clothes. While most of my friends are wearing Saris, etc, i dont know what to wear. Im white british.My friend Lily (14F) (fake name) said that i should dress up as beans on toast. We all laughed it off until she kept insisting for a while week. So, today at break, just to shut her up i said i would do it if she made a petition and got 105 signatures. I meant it as a joke to get her to go away, but, when i saw her at the end if lunch, she had already gathered 75 signatures from a whole class in our year group, some of the year 7s, year 10s and even a few teachers.I was talking to sone other friends after school and they asked about it. I said id meant it as a joke and wouldnt actually do it. They called me a lying scumbag and told Lily. Now everyone is mad at me.Was i the asshole?",AITA for not keeping to a promise i jokingly made,YTA -112d1em,"Important note - ""Joe"" lives in a bungalow in a massive field in the countryside and there's an old barn on the property that we used when he had big parties. When I say old I mean *old,* like falling apart, holes in the walls, no door etc.So I have two friends - ""Joe"" and ""Alex"" who both have birthdays in the beginning of December. In October/November time back in 2021 they were considering having a joint birthday party (Joe's 18th and Alex's 17th), but they kept disagreeing on what the party should be. Joe wanted a massive thing with everyone he knew invited and they could all bring plus ones, alcohol, drugs etc, while Alex wanted a smaller gathering with their closer friends. I suggested that they just have separate parties as their birthdays are over a week apart, but Joe was adamant that they have a joint one.A few weeks after this, they came to a decision that the 'big party' would take place in the barn and a smaller 'introvert' party would take place in the house and he would give his key to one of us to make sure that only the people in the core friend group could come inside in order to prevent the house from getting messy.This seems fine on the surface, except the party was in the middle of December, and I mentioned that people were going to be cold because the barn isn't windproof, so they'll want to come in and out to warm up. Also, where are they going to pee? He seemed annoyed and said that this was the best he could do, and if we weren't so awkward and just went to the regular party then there wouldn't be a problem. Admittedly I may have been a bit harsh when bringing up my problems with his compromise, but also I still think it was a crappy compromise for everyone, not just us. At the time Alex had shared with me that they were struggling with mental health issues and I and a few others had noticed their tendency to turn to alcohol. I knew they were on antidepressants and was concerned that if they went to this party where there was likely to be drugs such as LSD (which can interact with certain antidepressants) that they wouldn't be safe, especially if they had been drinking.I proposed to Alex that we have our own party, just us and 4 or 5 other friends, where we would go out for a meal and then go home, get pissed, and watch a movie. This was not done to spite joe, it was purely because we were concerned for our friend's safety and wanted them to have a fun birthday in a safe environment. Alex agreed, and told Joe that they didn't want to have a joint party anymore.Since then, Joe has almost entirely ignored me and another friend who went to our smaller party, and accused us of stealing Alex from him when everything was going to be fine anyway (side note - it wasn't. his party was a disaster). He planned multiple other social events over the next few months and purposely hid them from us, I only found out because he begged my sister to go to them.",AITA for planning a party on the same day as my friend's 18th,NTA -112br86," Using a throwaway for anonymity.I work in a scientific laboratory. Our lab recently partnered with a local group which aims to get individuals with various disabilities work experience. Jane, a very sweet girl with a learning disability, has recently been assigned to our team, and I just really want to contact my supervisor to ask if it's possible to get Jane reassigned.She was assigned to shadow me for the next 6 months, without me being asked if I felt capable of caring for her in work. I don’t think I’m a good person for the job – I tend to get frustrated and impatient easily. I keep my frustration internal and NEVER take it out on her, for the record. I just try to guide her in the right direction any time there is an incident.She is very kind and wants to jump in to help whenever she can, but makes herself a liability. She tends to mix up sample labels and throw away the incorrect ones, which comes back to me. One time she pricked herself with a sterile syringe. I took her to medical and they cleared her, but she was inconsolable for the rest of the day. She has stuck her head into a fume hood multiple times to try and reach for things inside (she's really short and has difficulty reaching things at the very back), despite the fact that there were toxic chemicals inside of the fume hood, and got really upset when I panicked and told her she can't do that. She has accidentally knocked over and broken flasks containing samples which impacted other people's testing. She forgets about proper protective gear. Every time an incident like this happens, I try to redirect her as gently as I can but she gets very upset and takes it as me telling her off, and it breaks my heart, but having her in the lab is just completely unsafe and having to permanently monitor her to ensure that she doesn't get hurt or accidentally mess something up is really starting to frustrate me and takes its toll.I’m considering reaching out to my supervisor and asking for her to be reassigned but feel like that would make me an asshole because it really looks like I’m picking on someone with a disability, when she is just trying her best.",WIBTA for asking a disabled colleague to be reassigned?,NTA -1121ju6,"I (15 M) has a brother (10 M) who is very spoilt and selfish and also is a huge favourite child. And this Christmas he has gotten me bunch of stuff of his list and gifted it to me.So when he wakes up of course he starts running around the house screaming and banging on walls to get us up. So we all finally got up, both my parents aren’t mad because he is the favourite. So we all go downstairs to try and eat some breakfast but then he keeps insisting on opening presents first so of course we do that. Even though I had just poured myself a bowl of cereal. And since they weren’t even letting me say anything I screamed “ CAN’T WE EAT FIRST!” Then the room becomes quiet and then they calmly say. “No let your brother open his presents.” And I say, “why so he can play with them for five minutes.” They just ignore me, so I accept it. Then he really wants to open the presents he got me, so I agreed and it was something on his list. Suddenly I stand up and check it’s mine, it was. So I calmly walked out of the room and up to my room, there I lied down and proceeded what had happened and knew I had to get him back.His birthday a few months later was like Christmas, the banging, screaming to get us up, all of it and it works we all get up and go and open his presents(30) and he picks one up and it’s a Lego set. A few more gifts like that then it was my gift. As he ripped the paper the face went from happiness to confusion to sadness as he realised that it was the one thing on my list. I quickly grabbed and sprinted screaming “REVENGE !” I hide in my room satisfied the plan had worked and revenge was served. Days later everyone in my family was saying get him a make up gift it each text makes me laugh.( we have all got over this and joke about now) but AITA",AITA For Not Getting My Brother B-Day Present After He Got Me A Present For Himself,ESH -1125vph,"TA account, brother knows personal.I (28M) have two brothers; ""Ronny"" (30M) and ""Caleb"" (23M). Caleb is our half brother, long story short... 11 years ago someone contacted our father with the information that Caleb was not his son and after that all hell broke loose. DNA testing was done and well it was found out that in fact Caleb was not his. Our mother had had an unfortunate minor affair with a coworker and the rest is history.Dad moved out, filed for divorce and completely stopped talking to Caleb. Caleb was just a young boy and this was unfortunate, I agree. Other family members tried to persuade him to not do this but he was just too angry and heartbroken at the time. Caleb also shutdown because of this. I should mention that us brothers had a good relationship always and no other family member shunned Caleb. It was just an unfortunate situation overall. It took him 4 years to get over it and he tried to rebuild the relationship between him and Caleb but Caleb but I guess the bridge had been burned by then. Caleb completely rejected every attempt of reconciliation, which is understandable. Over the years, dad tried to the best of his abilities to try and be in Caleb's life but Caleb has turned away from every attempt. The only time that we could get Caleb to meet dad was when we received the diagnosis in 2021, he wasn't enthusiastic about but I guess he gave in to the pressure of the family. Their meet was very underwhelming and with how sick dad started getting, he couldn't himself try to contact Caleb but asked us constantly to persuade him for forgiveness.He passed away on 3rd February, Caleb didn't come to the funeral. But we are having his memorial service over the weekend and I informed Caleb about it who again as usual said no. I got a little annoyed, the man is dead now. He tried his best to rejuvenate their relationship. The least Caleb can do is remember the good times we had before the unfortunate situation began and respect and honor those memories. I don't want him to speak at the service or anything but him being there would mean a lot to our dad's spirit. I told him so, and he gave me the silent treatment as usual. Word got to Ronny who was totally angry with me for pestering Caleb and asked me to leave him alone.I don't think I'm asking for too much here. Over the years, me and Ronny have bent over backwards to make sure Caleb's feelings never went unheard and that he knew how loved he is. This is pretty rude behaviour for him, in this time of grief. So, AITA?",AITA for telling my brother to keep his feelings aside and come to the memorial service?,YTA -112dbob,"Me (30f) and my friend (24f) have been friends for a few months now, we met on bumble, and just clicked instantly. We hangout online and in person as much as we can. however her boyfriend (25m) constantly is there and if he's not, she invites him along. Now just as an FYI I'm married to my (32m) husband and he will join like 15% of the time but for the most part does his own thing when we hangout. My husband is not the biggest fan of the bf and can only handle him in small doses. My friend is slightly autistic and so I try to do my best to accommodate things that might not work well with her. As of lately her BF has started to get on my nerves more and more, however I don't want to be an asshole by asking my friend to hangout without him because she's always saying that he's her comfort person and feels better with him around.It's getting to the point where I often mute him in discord calls and have slowed down on making plans with her. I actually said something the other day saying ""(bf) I'm really crabby today and I just can't take the negativity right now"" he got so mad he left the chat and I could hear him throwing a tantrum through my friends mic. I felt so bad afterwords and now I'm nervous to talk to my friend about easing up on having her BF around constantly.WIBTA in doing so?",WIBTA for telling my friend that her BF gets really annoying and I don't want to have to hangout with him too every time we hangout?,INFO -1128q2n,"So my (26f) parents (50s m/f) usually fly out to visit me for my birthday in October (I live on the east coast ~2000 miles away in another state). This year, we were going to go on a trip to Disney World instead where I would pay for my flight and ticket and my parents would pay for the hotel and food. But then this week, my aunt (dad’s sister) said she was looking into doing a 10 day cruise in the fall that goes up to Boston and Prince Edward Island and Quebec City. My mom called and told me about it and we looked at the ports online and she suggested the possibility of doing both things, the cruise and Disney World, since that was the trip she and my dad promised me, but I said I wouldn’t be able to take that much time off, (about 3 weeks total) and that since I hadn’t been to Quebec before, I’d rather just do that instead. She and I looked at cruise dates that would fall over my birthday and said that she would pay $500 to put toward my interior cabin, which would cost ~$2000 total. My parents are booking an exterior cabin with a veranda, which costs ~$3500. Another aunt and my grandparents (paternal) announced a couple of days ago that they would come too. So my mom talked with her travel agent and we were set to pay a $50 deposit for each room. But then I found out this morning that my grandpa said that he would pay $1000 to put toward each kid’s (not grandkid) cruise fare, and that he would pay $2000 for each couple. My aunts will not be bringing their partners and are splitting an interior $2000 cabin and will be getting $1000 each, which means their cruise fare is essentially being paid for. My parents will be getting $2000. Adult grandkids going on the cruise (so far just me) won’t get anything. I called my mom and clarified this and she confirmed that that was the offer. I said that that doesn’t seem fair and that I don’t really want to go on the cruise anymore and hung up. AITA for not going along with this arrangement and wanting to drop out after my grandpa popped in at the last minute to pay for the majority of everyone’s fare but mine?",AITA for dropping out of a family cruise for my birthday?,NTA -11279d1," Myself (F22) and my boyfriend (M23) have always had a good relationship, in fact this was our very first argument and it was caused by one of our best friends.I was in a group chat talking to my friend, let's call her Elena. Elena wanted my advice to talk to a boy she was into and so I was QUOTING what she should say but in that same moment, Kylie popped up in the chat and saw me talking about another guy as if I'm attracted to him and made the assumption of me cheating.I said hi to Kylie but with no words said, she left the group chat and rushed to message my boyfriend. (Which I was clueless about until later)Later that day I went into a group chat which had me, my boyfriend, Kylie, and a couple others. I said hi to them and asked how their days were since we haven't met with each other in a couple of days but none of them responded for a good 15 minutes and I started to worry.I messaged them separately, but they still didn't respond although it was clear to see they were online. Going back to the group chat I saw I was kicked out, still clueless about the whole situation, I assumed it was a mistake and joined back in but got kicked out AGAIN. I started getting frustrated by the 6th time where Kylie finally let me stay in.the first thing said to me was ""oh great the cheaters hear"" I responded with ""huh?"" and just started getting attacked by them. To sum it up they were telling me don't play dumb, you know what you did, I trusted you, wow that's low (etc.) Kylie then insulted me about how I was cheating with ""Jason"" and that's when it me, they were talking about Elena's crush.I'll just explain myself and we will be good, or so I thought. they didn't believe me not even my own boyfriend and as I much as I would like to believe Kylie was just being a good friend, she kept cutting me off saying that I'm not making any sense and switching my story up.I lost all my best friends and my boyfriend at the same time, it pains me that all this happened over text and call; is there anything I can do to fix this?The messages deleted in the chat automatically from mine and Elena's conversation so I can't do screenshots and when I tried to add Elena to the group as my proof, they said ofc she's going to defend you, she's your friend. idk what to do because they just keep saying I'm lying.TLDR: mine (F22) and my boyfriend's (23M) best friend assumed I was cheating when she found me having a conversation with another friend about their crush. My best friend then not only told my boyfriend but the whole group chat that I was a cheater. I tried to explain myself, but they wouldn't believe me and now I lost all my friends and my boyfriend.",WIBTA for calling out my friend who was trying to stay loyal to my bf?,NTA -1126m2x,"Background information, I (25f) live in an apartment building that has two floors. We live on the bottom floor and have a porch, the roof of our porch is the upstairs neighbors balcony. I have two little kids and use my porch for gardening and general leisure activities. In September a new person moved in upstairs. She(28F) is a navy wife with a small baby, around 18 months, and a dog. As another stay at home mom I wanted to make friends with her so I brought her cookies, snacks, and tried to be nice whenever possible. We had a brief argument when her dog smashed my plant in front of us both and she just walked away from our conversation and left. I then texted her and said I was really heartbroken that her dog destroyed my plant and upset she didn’t even apologize. She claimed she didn’t see it and that she was so sorry. We got over it, but never had the same level of openness. Anyway, she hasn’t been taking the dog on walks lately, and we live in the northeast part of the us where it is pretty cold, so it’s understandable to not see her take her on walks. I just found out today that she has a dog grass thing on her porch. There are piles of poop everywhere and I found out because what it thought was water streamed off of the porch and then the dog barked to be let back in. I have seen the dog on the porch regularly all through the last like 6 months, but assumed she needed space. So, I freaked out and texted her that it’s disgusting and rude to do that when she knows I have kids and use my porch. I also said “If you’re that lazy hire a dog walker.” I felt justified when I said it, but now I’m not sure if I was too rude to her. I mean, her dog is shitting above our porch. She is not mobility impaired, she doesn’t work, and she constantly has friends over. I don’t see why she can’t take her dog out. I also have a young child (20m) and a 4 year old and I take our dog out on walks, even in the cold. If it’s bitter cold out I just take her to the front to use the bathroom. I really am not sure if I’m being an asshole or not. I should also note it is a lease violation to have your dog use the bathroom in any part of the building. They don’t allow puppies for that reason. So AITA? TLDR: My upstairs neighbor is letting her dog use the bathroom above our porch and I said it was disgusting, lazy, and rude. Now I feel bad, should I?",AITA for calling my neighbor disgusting?,NTA -11269wh,"I’m (20F) a student in university and have had several jobs working with kids, mostly in daycares. It’s a part time job and not even close to what I want to do once I graduate, but I love kids and like the extra money although it’s severely underpaid. It’s a field where people and mostly young people get easily abused and being a people-pleaser, at first it was hard for me to say no and set my boundaries. My first job I was living in a hotel and was responsible with entertaining the kids aged 4-8 years old for the day. My coworkers and I would also put on a show every Friday night. I remember some nights as I was getting ready for bed I’d get a text from my boss at 10 pm telling me to come to rehearsals immediately. That he had apparently forgotten to tell me. It took me a while but at one point, I said I wouldn’t come unless I was told 24 hours in advance. And I’ve stuck to that rule ever since. I have a one week break in late February and I’m to work in a day care from Monday-Friday. The director sent me a text on Monday afternoon to tell me there’s a meeting Tuesday at 9:30 am to discuss activities for the kids and asked me to answer whether I could come or not. I asked how long the meeting would be because I had a class at 11:15 am and the day care is 30 min away. She said it would be until 11 am so I told her I didn’t know if it’d be worth it time wise for me to come. She asked me when I would need to leave. I said about 20 min in advance. I got no reply. So I decided not to come since it wasn’t mandatory or paid. Early afternoon I get a text asking me whether I came. I told her no since I didn’t get a confirmation and she said I should have warned her and it was rude. I still haven’t answered. I could send a snarky remark but I don’t think it’ll be very professional. Technically, I don’t need this job. It was the second daycare to call me asking if I was available so I said yes (the first one was to take care of a disabled kid and I didn’t feel comfortable having literally zero training on how to take care of disabled kids). But I’ve been called at least 3 times more since I accepted the offer because there’s lots of demand. I’m being paid 70€ for 10 hours of work and a 30 min break so I get why. I love the kids but I’m now dreading having to deal with her even if it’s only a week. However, I could have sent a follow up text or even come to the meeting stating I had to leave a little early. That’s why I’m wondering if maybe I was rude and the asshole.",AITA for not coming to a work meeting,NTA -1127iz3,"I'm an introvert at heart, let's get that out of the way. My friend is pretty consistently trying to get me to hang out with a group of people I haven't seen in 10 years. I keep telling him I'm not interested and he keeps sending me invites and telling me I'm being a sour puss for not hanging out.I've told him that not only am I an introvert, but that I barely have time to spare. I'm in a leadership position and I interact with about 40 people daily. I have a wife and kids who have extracurricular activities, so many evenings I am at their activities and interacting with other parents. My in laws and my parents all live close by as well as my brothers and their kids, and my sister in law and her kids. Weekends comprise of birthdays, get together, extracurricular activities, and then i try to fit in time with the friends I already keep in touch with (about 10 guys that I know) and some of their kids play with mine. I also have work social functions with leadership on some weekends and weeknights.I just don't want to add any more people in my life but then I feel guilty like these people think I don't like them or want to be around them. It's nice to know people want to see me, but it feels like a burden and a stressor. I already have other people that I've met or knew in the past wanting to rekindle relationships and I have just told them I appreciate it but I just don't have the bandwidth. It always makes me feel guilty though. As an introvert I know too many people. I love spending time with my family and the friends I do have, but I am completely happy being alone in general, always have been. My kids and wife do not take my energy, I am fine being around them all the time.Anyway he got kinda mad at me when I told him I wouldn't be seeing them this weekend with him. AITA for not wanting to see these old friends? At this point I don't even know what to tell them.TL;DR I'm an introvert. My friend wants me to rekindle past friendships. I keep telling him I won't but I feel guilty for not seeing these people.","AITA My friend wants me to reunite with old friends, but I don't want to.",NTA -11293d1,"I 21F told my friend 21F a couple days ago in a jokingly tone that we should hang out today cause we’re both single and that I know she has no plans in the evening.Today she asked when are we meeting up and I got caught off guard. When I do want to hang out with people, I typically set the time and date right then and there. On a normal day, I’d still hang out after realizing she didn’t think I was joking, but I am so mentally drained today that idk how to describe it, but I feel it would be best for me to be alone in my room. I went through my first breakup a month ago and I thought it wouldn’t affect me as much mentally today, it’s somehow messing with me.I have plenty of time to hang out with her but I feel like I’m so mentally drained that I just want to be alone in my room today. WIBTA if I told her I can’t hang out today after supposedly making plans because I’m mentally drained?",WIBTA if I bail on someone after saying I would hang out?,NTA -1129nqg,"Ive (19f)grown up my whole life with just my mum up until almost 3 years ago when my mum started dating my stepdad,and in the process I got 3 stepbrothers (11,15,19)and I live with my mum,stepdad and my eldest stepbrother whilst the other two come every other weekend.Background information (please bear with me as it will hopefully help understand the story)I’m a wheelchair user because of a condition called functional neurological disorder and I have ptsd.I went to primary school with my oldest stepbrother and since we were friends,our mums knew each other,but when we went to secondary school we didn’t have anything to do with him especially because he was one of the popular kids .however i unknowingly became friends with his cousin and one day when my friend’s mum found out my mums car was broken she called my stepdad(her brother)as he is a mechanic and that’s how they started dating. Now to the actual story,I’m not sure if every brother is the same but my brother has no shame in telling everyone everything so quite often he will just start rambling to whoever is close and at first I hated it as he never stopped talking especially sports which I wasn’t really interested in however when he learnt that I struggle with social situations and don’t really know how to make many friends he started trying to help me by giving me advice which has helped me so when I was explaining to a friend that I thought my brother was a “decent guy” since he didn’t have to help,my friend looked at me with disgust and said that no normal brother would help a sister unless he wanted more.I flat out told my friend that nothing was or is going to happen especially since my brother has a girlfriend and to me he is only an older brother.However now im wondering if the whole situation is weird",AITA for calling my brother a “decent guy”,NTA -112cap3,"This Friday I am going to be moving to my new apartment down the road. My girlfriend and I worked out the details and I spoke with my friends, who agreed to help me move. Today I just reserved a 10 inch moving truck from U-haul and our plan is to go to my grandmother's place to pick up my things over there for 9:30am. Once that is done, I will be going to my girlfriend's place to grab her things and then we will be dropping everything off at my new place. We have the elevators reserved from 12pm - 3pm and we cannot be a minute over that.My mom has brought up the idea of us picking up her freezer for her which is also located at my grandmother's place and I completely forgot. The issue is that we didn't factor this in our planning. What this means is that we would be effectively adding a new stop and we;d need to drive to my moms place. I told my mom that I wouldn't be doing this because how how disruptive it would be to my plans. She countered by saying that it isn't too far out of the way for us to do this since we live close to her. Right now she is upset with me but I am still against the idea and I think it'll cost us time and it'll be too problematic for us. The freezer is rather large and I don't know if it'll fit in my mom's place. My brother on the other hand thinks it's reasonable and is willing to do this.",WIBTA if I refused to drop off my mom's freezer for her when I have an opportunity to do so?,NTA -1126mao,"In short, my SO wanted a dog and I agreed with the terms that he would take full responsibility of it. From the start I have taken much more care of the dog than he has. I am a full-time student and he is full-time employed. So obviously I have more free time to walk the dog etc. since I study mostly at home. But when my SO is at home, I have refused to care for our dog. I don’t want to walk it, feed it, train it etc. And my SO complains that why can’t we do these things together since we are both at home. I have tried to explain that I have to do everything alone when I am home with the dog so I expect that he will do his share when he is home. I have to add that my SO is rarely home alone with the dog, 1-3 hours max. I really like to be at home even on my freetime lol. The point is he almost never has to be completely alone with the dog so with his logic, I would have to participate with the care like all the time. Additionnally, I have trained the dog mostly everything. If I hadn’t, it probably wouldn’t even respond to the command ”sit”. AITA the asshole for even agreeing to get a dog? Should I just take care of it and stop complaining?EDIT. I just wanted to make clear some things. The dog always has fresh water and everything else it need available at all times. I walk the dog too, if I’m alone with the dog. The problem was that my SO thinks that I should do work even when he is home too, like on days off and after or before work. And I refuse to participate in dog care when he is able to do so. Example. He is at home and asks me to help trim the dogs nails. When I am alone with the dog, I trim the nails fine by myself. So it bothers me that when he is at home he’s always asking help to do dog things, even though I can and will do those things all by myself.",AITA for not participating in dog care when my SO is at home?,NTA -1128p9f,"My (28) dad just had a stroke. He’s making a great recovery, but he’s not able to do the things he usually would. Prior to this, he was the main caretaker of the house. He cooked for my mom, cleaned the house, and took care of the various pets my parents own. My mom used to be very dependent on him. I don’t live with them. I have a full time job in the next county.Obviously while my dad was in the hospital and after my dad came home, I spent a few days at my parents house helping my mom keep the house together and going through my dads routines with her so that she knew what has to get done for the pets.One of those things is the litterboxes. My parents have enough cats to require 5 litterboxes throughout the house. I had to show my mom how to scoop them, but she was able to do that.She claimed that she isn’t able to dump them out to put clean litter in and needed me to come over every other day to dump them, like my dad was doing.I told her that, while I was there to support them, my role was to help them find their new routine, and coming over in that manner wasn’t sustainable. I was willing to help her find a way to dump them, but not do it for her consistently. She started crying that she has a bad back and she doesn’t want to hurt herself and she can’t do it. She tried it once but didn’t try any other ways of doing it other than the one way we tried and gave up.She says she is worried about the smell of the boxes, but won’t listen to me about how to best control that, saying that will make them too heavy for her to lift, all while asking me to lift them.It was 9:00 at night and I was exhausted, and I had a full day of work and I told her that if she didn’t want to try to find a real solution, then she was going to have to deal with that.We finally settled that I will come over twice a week to dump litterboxes and take out all the trash in the house but in between, she needs to find new ways of doing the everyday tasks.I told this story to my partner and they said I’m right but my coworkers think I’m being unfair to my mom. AITA?",AITA for not cleaning the litterboxes?,NTA -1126fit,"Hi, sorry for the format I’m on mobile. This just happened last night and I was wondering was I in the wrong? So I currently attend a 4 year college and me and my friend, we can call her Amy, where walking to go help my other friend (sam) get her piercing out and on the way to her dorm her “friend” she talks to (AH) proceeded to say we looked like “ladies on the corner”. I let that one slide and remained calm and kept walking to Sam’s dorm. After we arrived she invited AH over once he got there everything was fine at first but after a while he kept bringing up inappropriate things like calling us ladies on the corner again, calling us fat, and told Amy she was built like a door and looked funny. A little backstory on Amy she had and still has very bad insecurities issues and has suffered from an eating disorder. After sometime of this and apparently no one else hearing him say this stuff except me and Amy I noticed Amy looked uncomfortable so I told her let’s bounce. Once we got back into our dorm Amy broke down crying cause what he said really brought back very harsh insecurities that she has dealt with all her life. I didn’t really care what he said about me but Amy and I are childhood friends and seeing her cry like that really made me upset. So here’s where I might be the a-hole instead of texting him I called Sam and went off. I told her how disgusting it was that he would say something so degrading but claims he is a Man with Morals and how due to his behavior it can cause Amy to start starving herself again. After that he basically claimed he didn’t know about the disorder and she just kept giving him excuses and he gave me and Amy this lame apology that started with “yo”. So to wrap this up I didn’t respond to him and told Sam if he is around we are not and there is basically a drift in our friendship. So AITA for causing the drift or should I have done something different?Also the reason I didn’t speak up in her room was because it was quite hours and I didn’t wanna risk her getting fined for yelling so I just walked off.",AITA for how I handled inappropriate comments that were directed at me and my friend,NTA -1126bpw,"I, 23 f, ran away from home when I was 19 ( In our country you can live with your parents as long as you want if you're single) I have this friend group from high school that I trust so much that I kept them in contact with me. Now this friend, F, has been the closest to me when we were in HS. I had a job during that time and they are studying for college. I don't want to brag but on our friend group, Im the most reliable when it comes to studying.This girl, F, started chatting me again after quite sometime of not talking. Her first chat was, ""Can you help me with my homework?"". I helped her that time even though I just finished working and its freaking 11PM. After that, the one time was followed by another, and another and so on. Now everytime she chats me its all about homework. I suffered from depression that time when I left home so I am actually a bit sensitive and want to validate myself and my feelings. I thought to myself that she is taking me for granted and doesn't wanna talk to me unless she needs my help. Then, she chatted me again to ask for help and I straight up told her ""can't you study by yourself for once?"" and ""I am tired of you always asking for my help but not asking how am I, what kind of friend are u?"" I have felt bad eversince and hasn't talked to her as well. This happened a year ago and I still feel awkward whenever our friend group has a gathering. We never really brought it up to our group and just ignored each other. A part of me wants to say sorry but another part of me wants her to say sorry. So am I the a-hole?",AITA for telling my high school bestfriend to stop messaging me?,NTA -11269iz,"Im (23F) partner is (22M) I notice my partner doesn't really have self regulation tools in place. I have been working on trying not to feel a way when he is upset, and giving them room to be upset. However, it can be difficult to support them when everything can be catastrophized and no room for solution.I provide suggestions often but try not to be overbearing. Things that I believe give him the space to feel upset, but to make the time more bearable. So onto the situation. I have not been expecting anything for valentines day until he said it was coming up and that he wanted to do something and it was a surprise and blah blah blah. So I got my hopes up. I started to notice we are planning this valentines day mostly together. Which I guess is fine, but there is a history of me planning or taking initiative to do more romantic things, and the most he will want to plan to do is go on a walk through the city which brings me a lot of anxiety, or to go to social events that require socializing which, you guessed it: brings me anxiety. I do not ever stop him or try to keep him from doing both of those things on his own. The food we planned together, and even that was difficult. We decided to order some food for pickup so we wouldn't have to make anything. He started to get frustrated that he had to pull out his card and type all the information out. I get that it can be annoying as hell, but sometimes stuff seems like tantrums. He shot up out of bed and groaned super loudly and stomped like a meter away to his bag for the card. The boiling point was this past night. We're sharing a twin, so it makes sense that we had difficulty sleeping but there are times when we both feel rested. He woke up a lot through the night,The heavy sighing continued through the night, i suggested that he could either go outside because it was still dark and that used to help me when I couldn't sleep. I suggested music or something to watch, as those also usually help me when I'm tired and can't sleep. He didn't take the suggestions. Eventually I reconciled that I wasn't going back to bed, so I went outside. At this point he was thinking of coming with me. He asked if I could open the window I knocked down an open water bottle he left and his bong because I can't fucking see and now it smells like nasty bong water, and he up pissed off and like ""this sucks I'm gonna be stressed out the entire morning"". almost everything that cane out of his mouth was ""this suvks. Worst night ever"". We don't say anything to each other after that. Eventually he got up for a shower and came out feeling much better I think. I'm glad fir that, but he starts saying happy valentines day and doesn't acknowledge the previous night before. I'm not really with it. I'm not feeling romantic, or inspired, or particularly excited for this day. I'm wondering if this is normal or if I'm being weird for not feeling celebratoryAITA?",AITA for not wanting to spend valentines with my partner after they had a bad night of sleeping and all of our conversations were negative and stressful?,NTA -11267w4,"My MIL (62yo) is a former 2+ pack-a-day smoker for 30+ years. She has gone through lung cancer treatment in the past, has been on oxygen for over 2 years, and is currently in end-stage COPD and emphysema. She has no money and lives on SSDI and has a section 8 voucher. Since September, she has been bouncing back and forth between the hospital and rehab facilities due to recurring pneumonia. At this point, they want to place her in a nursing home with hospice care. She basically has a near-zero chance of being able to live on her own again.Since I've known her, she's had several animals. Every dog she's had, she hasn't bothered to potty train them. At best, she would try to get them to use puppy pads, but that was fairly ineffective. She also doesn't do anything about their barking or behavior, other that a half-hearted ""Rufus, quiet!"" every now and again.When she went to the hospital in September, we took in her dog (12yo shih tzu). Now, over 5 months later, we are still dealing with this thing. We've been doing our best with taking him outside, and our two little kids (5 and 9) help as best they can, but just when I think we have a handle on it, I find poop and pee on the floor.Then there's the barking. We keep him in a kennel at night and when we're away. But half the time we put him away at night, he just barks. We've let him out, made sure he did his business, but he still barks. Also in the morning. And whenever someone comes to the door, he barks his head off and jumps up scratching the crap out of the door. I already need to repaint it.On top of all this, our dog (4yo lab) is not a fan of him. Our boy is the sweetest, most well-behaved dog. No barking, amazing with the kids, just a great family dog. My MIL's dog will bully him sometimes and jump up and bite at him or chase him. Our poor guy doesn't retaliate or anything, and is sometimes afraid to go outside or do anything that might provoke the little one. I feel horrible for him, and we do everything we can to intervene or prevent the behavior, but it is incessant. Luckily our cat has given him a smack or two in the past, so he leaves the cat alone.I desperately want this dog out of our lives. It has caused a lot of stress and tension between my wife and I. No one in the house is fond of him. I want my wife to find him a new home, but she keeps stalling. Her reasoning is that her mom's bf asked my wife to take care of this dog as kind of a last wish thing before he died a couple years ago. Truth be told, I feel bad for the dog. He wasn't properly raised, so I can't really blame him. But this isn't the right home for him. He basically just exists right now. The kids don't play with him, we don't really pet him, and short of taking care of his needs and a few walks here and there, he's just bored. It really isn't fair to him either to be here.I don't see any possibility of my MIL being able to eventually take him back (even if she went home, she can barely take care of herself).So, AITA for wanting to get rid of this dog?",AITA for wanting to get rid of my MIL's dog?,NTA -112bcs5," I (24f) have been with my 33 (m) partner for 6 years. We live pay check to pay check so our life is very low key. We go on a date every few months and it's always after much nagging and pouting. However, we always try to put out the effort for special occasions. or I try and he used to try.I go all out for his birthday, our anniversary and valentines day and I expect the same. He tries for my birthday but that's it. For every Valentine's Day, he's given me nothing of note. Last year it was a toy car set that i had mentioned i liked and this year it was flowers and coffee. without even a card or even a date afterwards. Am i ungrateful for not being appreciative enough?The entire year, I am okay with not going out often or barely receiving any gifts because I truly love him but on the few special days of the year, I want to be blown away and feel special? I understand that money is tight and I've repeatedly told him that there's endless things he can do that doesn't require money, just effort.He handed me the flowers and the disappointment was clear on my face. He's mad at me now and calling me spoiled and ungrateful. Am I the asshole for not being grateful?",AITA for being ungrateful about a gift?,NTA -112bbgi,"So my SO and I both work in pretty demanding fields, her in the medical world and me as a machinist.Several times throughout the day she'll call, usually between patients. Normally from an office phone because they're not allowed to have their cell phones out during their shift. Sometimes she calls me for a reason, something to do with our kids, etc. and I completely get that, and it's fine. But most of the time it's a ""check in"" call, and the conversation generally goes:Her: ""Hey, what are you doing"" Me: ""Working on a part in the shop, what are you doing?"" Her: ""Putting in charts."" Me: ""OK, well how has your day been?"" Her: ""Fine. How about yours?"" Me: ""Busy/Crazy/etc."" And then things sort of trail off .Let me preface this by saying I don't NOT want to talk to my SO, I enjoy it and we have some great discussions. My brain, however, is almost ADHD-level focused on my work as I am usually under tight deadlines and usually have some extremely precise measurements I have to maintain on the parts I make. So when I get a call out of the blue from my SO wanting to make small talk, it's hard for me to shift gears. I've tried telling her this and suggested we just check in at lunch, etc. but that gets met with the idea that ""I just don't want to talk to her"" so ""she'll just stop calling since I don't want to talk.""She also gets upset that I don't call her at work more to chat -- she's told me their cell phones are not allowed to be out, and she doesn't have an office per se, so the only way I can reach her is to call the desk and have them page her, where she could be in with a patient, etc. I've told her I don't do this because I respect that she has work to do during work hours and I don't want to keep pulling her away from tasks/patients for no reason other than to make small talk, and it gets shrugged off.I've suggested texts to check in as it allows the other to finish doing what they're doing if they need to stay focused, but I just get reminded that she's not allowed on her cell phone at work, but yet a 20 minute personal call on the office line is OK.So Reddit, I ask, does this make me the asshole?",AITA for not having much to say on the phone during my work day?,NTA -1124c7r,"Okay so this is my first post and I am sure that judging from the title you could already argue that I am the asshole but let me dive into the details. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 3 months now and 2 weeks before we agreed to spend valentines day together and I got tickets to a nice museum and told her how we will be spending the day. A week after making our plans she took on a babysitting job on valentines day so fast forward to valentines day I am spending it with my girlfriend and a kid that I do not know. I was very unhappy and annoyed so didn’t really enjoy the day. As we were leaving the museum she gave me her gift and it was obvious that I was unhappy, she then snapped at me and took the gift saying she will give it to someone who will appreciate it and that she is sick of my attitude. So am I the asshole?",AITA for not being excited on our valentines day date?,NTA -112b1ao,"Me 23F and my ex 25M dated for 8 months, a month ago I broke up with him, I had been struggling with my sexuality for a while and realized I only liked women. We never had any major problems during the relationship but during the breakup, I saw a side of him that really shocked me. We live in the same apartment building and after the breakup, I'd find threatening notes in front of and pushed under my door. Banging on my door in the middle of the night and my intercom being called at all hours of the day. He also knows my schedule so he'd be lurking in the lobby whenever I had to go and come back from school and work. I told my landlord what my ex doing and if something could be done but he said he couldn't do anything without proof. So with his permission, I installed a camera for my front door which caught him doing the banging and note-writing. I showed my landlord and he sent a notice for my ex to be evicted. I'm super relieved that ill finally be left alone in my apartment but now he has gotten his friends to start harassing me over getting him evicted and a few of my friends think that I overreacted and it would have died down eventually without me doing anything.",AITA for getting my ex evicted from his apartment?,NTA -112aqpb,"My sis is getting married. My dad spent 30 mins dancing around her not wanting my husb wearing his suit to her wedding. My husb has 1 suit. His sis & mom demanded he wear one for his sis’s wedding. He went to Goodwill & got a shiny grey suit w/ neon orange lining. I love him much & the suit is rad. His mom & sis appreciated he wore it.My husb asked if it was appropriate for my mom’s funeral. Of course it was. He wore it to friend’s weddings. There’s been no neg feedback. And we’ve got nice pics/memories.He wore it to my cousin’s wedding. Conversation w/ dad: he noted iPhone memories & mom’s funeral pics. He says the director eyeballed my husb’s suit & said, “Really?” I would have laughed & said, “Yes, isn’t it great?” Dad brings up the cousin’s wedding. He tells me there were 2 events: 1) The wedding we were at 2) another function a lot of black folks were having. My husb was on the elevator w/Dad & a lady attending the other event. She thought my husb was on the wrong floor & was joining her. I laughed, saying how awesome that was. Dad tells me to take a hint. Get to the point, dad. He says, “You want direct? Your sis wants you & your husb there, but doesn’t want him outshining her with that suit.”I saw my sis & her fiancée at a fam gathering yesterday. She was happily sharing wedding plans. She couldn’t talk then?Dad is the conduit for us all. They’re half sisters & younger. I’m less a part of their lives. Not for lack of trying. They run to dad & blast everyone about quibbles w/ one another, never going to the person directly. He says it’s normal. I say he likes & encourages it. He makes excuses for us because he feels guilty, mostly because the marriages to my mom & their mom fizzled. By running interference & us not addressing one another—when he is no longer here, we won’t have relationships. We barely do. I don’t. I used to be close to sis getting married. I don’t hear from anyone & now, also don’t reach out. When we see each other, it’s friendly. We are known for certain traits. The youngest is a straight up jerk. Says/does rude things & likes being “savage”. The next one is codependent, Nice/Nasty (nice to your face/nasty behind your back) & cozies up to the strongest personality in the room. The next one is a lying, manipulative narcissist & about appearances. The one getting married foghorn burps often & is sensitive to where something upsets her & no one knows until she is found crying. That leaves me: I’m not from the South and say what is meant. I hate the southern mentality of BYH & shut people out when they hurt me. My friend says I’m a cannonball. She says I love my sis’s & can’t accept that they don’t love me like I love them. I told dad to let sis talk to me about the suit. My husb doesn’t want to go & will if he can wear it. Husb thinks this is dumb & calls us by our family name w the word drama enmeshed.AITA for telling my dad to have my sis ask me herself that my husb not wear his suit to her wedding?",AITA for telling my dad to have my sis ask me herself that my husb not wear his suit to her wedding?,ESH -1122zjz,"My (21f) boyfriend (22m) came over to stay for a couple days. I am a regular weed smoker and he goes through phases of smoking regularly and not smoking for months. He is currently in a no smoking period. We woke up in the morning and he was on the phone to a friend so I went and finished last nights doob and came back to cuddle. He said “you smoked didn’t you!” And I was like yes I finished last nights roach.But he was upset at me for smoking, saying he didn’t want to be around people who are “out of it” as his dad is suffering an alcoholism relapse which is affecting him a lot. Smoking is a part of my daily routine so I didn’t really think before finishing the joint. I then left to go to a meeting and when I came back we went for a walk and to the supermarket and made and ate food together. I was honest with him and I said “Im gonna be honest I really would like to smoke a joint right now.” I suffer from anxiety and depression and am in the process of getting an adhd diagnosis, and after more than a week working with no days off, I was looking forward to chilling and smoking a j and cuddling ykykykyk. He got mad at me and we didn’t really talk much of the evening so I did eventually smoke and he spent the evening pushing me away and not talking. In the morning we cuddled and he told me he thinks I don’t understand and I’m not sorry. I apologised for hurting him but Im not fully sure if I’m sorry for smoking. Am I the asshole",AITA for smoking weed after my boyfriend told me he didn’t want me to,NTA -1125dfy,"Throwaway.Anyway, it's my (26) siblings' (18 and 17 respectively) birthday today and we had some decent preparations. A little food, decorations to hang up. Stuff like that.Now, we're not very stable nor liquid financially right now, which led to my younger siblings having the sentiment that their birthday prep shouldn't be so expensive since we already need to put the money towards surviving. On the other hand, my aunts sent mom some money for my siblings' birthday, though not enough to get us comfortably through the month.The three of us (my two siblings and I) felt that the decorations were a bit much, and the money used for those could have gone to food, their allowance, or whatever else needed to be paid this week.Mom, my sister, and I were hanging up the decorations when my sister suddenly left and Mom said something about having patience and learning to enjoy the moment. I let Mom know that maybe the money for the decor could have been used elsewhere, to explain why my sister felt so uncomfortable and unenthused about the whole thing.Mom went off at me for it saying that it's a special day, and that if she died tomorrow, we wouldn't have any special memories or photos to look back on like what happened with the Christmas dinner before Dad passed away. She also explained that the decor is so she can take nice pictures to send to my aunts to prove that the money they sent is being used as intended. I feel like I'm justified for telling my mom to rein it in a bit, especially now that my siblings are starting to get worried, but I feel like a heel as it seems that her first remark indicates that she's still in mourning.AITA?",AITA for telling my mom what my siblings felt?,NAH -1126yar,"Hi, this is my first and hopefully last time posting to this page. I just wanted a wider opinion because I know asking to go to a party when you weren’t invited is an unspoken rule of society. It was in 2020 when I (15M at the time) nervously awaited my GCSE results and asked around if anyone was doing anything. I asked a good friend if their group of friends were doing anything and if they were could they let me know. They replied with a yes and said they’d let me know. Come results day and I see on Snapchat that the particular friend was at a party with no message to me of it happening. I was a little bit disheartened and in the minor sense betrayed. I was in the ‘awkward friend group’ though I had a good reputation amongst the entire year group, so it was highly unlikely that we would gather to celebrate as no one of us could be bothered to ask one another. That’s sort of the reason why I asked around if anyone else was doing anything. Eventually, I had a casual back and forth Snapchat conversation with another person at the party and asked if I could come. I felt myself cringing as soon as I asked but felt I was allowed to ask because I had been told by the previous friend they would let me know. Obviously they brushed my request off, “it’s not my house so I’m not sure” is what the reply was. Overall, I just want to know what anyone else thinks of this because it’s been on my mind since it happened. I know that there is some fault on my part but I want to hear from others: Am I fully in the wrong here?",AITA for asking to come to a party I wasn’t invited to… although I was.,NAH -1128iro,"Around every Valentine’s Day my (18 m) grandparents give me and my siblings chocolates to share with our friends for Valentine’s Day. I have recently gone to college and was talking to one of my dorm mates (~18 nb) about the best types of sweets. They mentioned that milk chocolate was their favorite type, so I offered to give them my chocolate box this year (because I don’t really have many friends at my new school anyways). The next day, after the class we have together, they told me they had given the entire box to our dorm custodian (?F) instead and how excited and thankful she was for the gift. (To be clear, I’m not upset with the custodian at all. She’s a nice person.)Now, a week later, the custodian has given them a box of valentines chocolates also and I’ve been pretty upset about it, even though it’s not like I lost anything. Am I the asshole?EDIT:To be clear, the main reason I’m upset is the way they approached me about it. They were bragging about it to me and my roommate (18 m). I have difficulty articulating emotions though, so I could be reading too far into things.",AITA for being upset about someone regifting something I regifted first,YTA -112dhsd,"Me (48f) and my partner (48m) live on an urban street of triple deckers and a couple single family houses. We've been here for four years, we know most of our neighbors, and the street is pretty quiet. Our building is separated from the building next door by a narrow strip of grass and a driveway. Our bedroom window faces the driveway. Back in November we got some new neighbors in that building next door. They leave at 7:40 am each day. I know this because most days they are idling their car with music blasting starting at 7:15; or they are having a loud argument in the driveway starting at 7:15; or sometimes they are doing both of these things. Our window is very close and all this noise goes right into the apartment.I have opened our window to ask them to PLEASE TURN DOWN THE MUSIC, THIS IS OUR BEDROOM on three occasions now. The first time they openly mocked me, the other two times they turned it down and probably still mocked me. I usually just grit my teeth and wait for them to leave but sometimes I can't take it. I know the landlord of the building and have his contact info. I COULD just complain directly to him, because it's been 4 months and they're still doing this. I feel like an asshole even thinking about that, because they're just annoying the fuck out of me for 20 minutes every morning and I really, really hate the bass vibrating our apartment. But they're not waking me up (I'm usually already up), we don't work weird schedules, and my partner isn't bothered by it at all. I'm also afraid of the Karen effect as I'm a middle aged white lady and they're a young Black family.I just want them to stop with this 7:15 am bullshit. Turn on your fucking music when you're DRIVING AWAY. I don't think they'd appreciate it much if I started cranking Wolf Eyes into their driveway at 7:15 am. WIBTA for complaining directly to the landlord since yelling through my window isn't working?",WIBTA complaining to the landlord about the neighbors' apartment shaking bass at 7:15 am almost every morning?,NTA -112d73m,My coworker (Ian) and I work at a cafe. We were hired within a couple months of each other and have been working together for almost 2 years now. I love working with him but it’s getting a little exhausting. He is on the autism spectrum although it’s not severe and recently he was diagnosed with mild adhd (this is important for layer). I moved up in positions pretty quickly and and he did not (he voluntarily decided not to take on any managerial roles because this is just a part time job for him) even though we started out with roughly the same amount of coffee experience. Generally he does look to me for leadership and recognizes that I am his manager but recently it’s been strained. I asked him a couple months ago to help me with some back of house stuff and although he’s been a great help his methods are chaotic. He oftentimes is very messy and disorganized when he’s making stuff BOH and I was worried it would reflect poorly on me (with regards to the owners of the shop) so I approached him about it and suggested that he keeps a garbage can next to him while he’s working so empty milk cartons and bottle caps don’t end up on the floor. He very quickly called me ableist and said this is just how he works and that I shouldn’t ask for his help if I’m going to criticize his processes. I didn’t know what to say so I just told him I appreciate his help and left it at that. It’s been a couple weeks since that happened and I don’t ask for his help as often I used to but he hasn’t talked about it. AITA?,AITA for asking my coworker to change how he works?,NTA -11242zp,"Basically I moved to the UK last year to live with my brother(we’re originally from Portugal). He went through a shitty divorce where his wife basically took everything from him, inc. his children(wouldn’t let him even see them).As a result, he went through a period of being homeless and struggled financially. My family all lives in Portugal and they have supported him as much as they could financially. I moved back to the UK (I left in 2019 due to a burnout) so he wouldn’t be alone and wouldn’t have to endure the cost of a house and bills by himself.Problem is, after living in substandard conditions, he got used to a living in a mess.I quit smoking over a year ago, and over 4 times I had to tell him not to smoke indoors because of the smell (I never did so when I was a smoker). He leaves things out of place that never go where they should, and I feel like the house is always messy and I’m cleaning up after him.I’m not a super tidy person myself, but it annoys me that there’s always things lying around for days that could have been easily put in the bin.Today I found ashes of a cigarette on the table where we often eat.I just don’t know if I’m being extra picky about tidiness or not, or if I should give him a break given what he’s been through. But It’s driving me crazy.",AITA for asking my brother/housemate to tidy his things and not smoke indoors?,NTA -112c00u,"So my(46m) wonderful sweet loving girlfriend (44f) gave me a box of chocolates and a card this morning for Valentine's Day. It was nice but she already gave me like three gifts (I gave her some also) and I'm not a big chocolate guy and I'm also trying to lose weight. I didn't really want to eat them so I brought them to work to share with my coworkers. Now she's really upset because she said I should have known that I should share them with her. I told her it's not logical to give someone a gift and expect them to share it with you without at least hinting or letting them know. So, reddit, aita?",AITA for bringing the chocolates my GF gave me to work?,NTA -112bmn3,"I (25M) have two friends (both 24M) that I've known for several years now.Being summer here, I wanted to invite them to a place I have by the beach to stay for around a week (I'm staying with two brothers as well). Pretty common thing around here, no problem. We've done this before and it's pretty fun.Thing is, both of them have girlfriends. Again, no problem. If anything, that's great for them. This inspired one of them (let's call him Larry, not his real name) to ask (ahead of time) if he could have his GF over as well. I don't have an issue, as they've been dating for over two years and I've come to know her pretty well. Besides, she doesn't know the beach I have a place in, so that's a big reason to have her here. I'm a bit bummed that it can't just be the three of us like old times, but what can you do. It's all in good faith.Recently, the other friend (let's call him Terry, again not his real name) also got the the idea of having his GF over. I said yes because he's my friend and I don't want to be unfair.But the issue is threefold: I don't know Terry's GF (they've been dating a few months and I've met her only twice), I don't want to feel like a fifth wheel in my own home and I'm afraid the regular dynamic between my friends and I will be gone with both GFs here.WIBTA for backing out after giving confirmation? I don't want to be mean to either my friend or his girlfriend, but I also don't want to feel uncomfortable the whole time.",WIBTA for cancelling a friend's GF's invitation?,YWBTA -112bmjm,"Background: I (30f) and my spouse (30m) have been married almost 10 years. For the last 7 years, I have been a stay at home mom. We have one child (7) together. My spouse and I both deal with anxiety, sometimes depression, and he also has ADHD, which of course can all make home care tasks difficult. Throughout our marriage, we have always done a good job of splitting home care tasks such as dishes, laundry, vacuuming, etc, even without me asking him. However, in the last few years, we have dealt with a lot of stress and changes. Our feelings of overwhelm have been intensified and our home care has struggled. My spouse has worked really hard and now has a new job, and we are starting to do much better. However, we are still struggling with our mental health, (though we are both actively working on this with therapy/meds) and home care still takes a while most of the time. He works a full time job, from home most of the week, usually does school drop off, and about half the time, he takes bedtime for our child. As a SAHM, I take care of our schedules, meal planning, grocery shopping, inventory, budgeting and bill pay, keeping track of our child's school events, school pickup and more.Issue: I have talked to my spouse about needing to help with dishes, laundry and other basic cleaning tasks. When we are having a hard time and I need a break, he is understanding and gives me grace, and I eventually get back into it and get things done, either because I'm feeling better after resting, or because it just needs to get done. I told him that I've been feeling frustrated, because we're both having hard times, but it's still always me that ends up doing these chores. Although he had always helped with these things in the past, he has been telling me for a while that it is my job as the stay at home mom to do all of these things. When we involve our child in clean-up, he says we all work together to clean the house because we all live here. But when it's just us, he says it shouldn't be 50/50, because as a SAHM, it should be my job. I feel like he contradicts himself and I believe it's just common sense that daily home tasks should be shared by everyone in the home.I told him that I will not be taking care of his personal dishes, like the ones he takes to his home office, and I will not be putting away his laundry anymore. He thinks I am an AH but I don't think I am in the wrong here. AITA for putting my foot down about this?TLDR: My husband and I have been arguing about home care tasks like dishes and laundry. I told him he should be helping, and he says it is my job since I am a SAHM. AITA for telling him I won't be doing his dishes and laundry anymore?",AITA for not doing my husbands chores anymore?,NTA -11266gd,"So I (37M) live in Michigan where fireworks are legal but limited to Memorial Day weekend, the week leading up to July 4th, Labor Day weekend and New Year's Eve. Personally, not a fan of fireworks (literally setting your money on fire IMO) but to each their own and I respect their rights under this law.My biggest issue is how the sound from the fireworks affects my dog (and others in our neighborhood). The boom frightens him and makes him afraid to even go outside. I can just grin and bear it during the allowable days under the law but I have a neighbor down the street whose children are lighting off bottle rockets in February. They've done it consistently over the last week and now my dog won't even consider walking down that side of the street.I want to be civil and direct with my neighbor by addressing the issue with them first. I don't want to resort to bringing in the authorities but I get the feeling it's going to come to that regardless (this person proudly hangs a ""Don't Tread on Me"" flag on their house). Would I be the asshole for going straight to the authorities? I get the feeling that if I address it to them first, they refuse, and then I call the authorities, I'm painting a target on my back.EDIT: My wife reminded me to add this piece of information: this particular neighbor has been charged with abusing his own dog in the past and that's the blowback that I fear. If this person has no qualms with abusing their own dog, I can only imagine what he would do to mine in retaliation.",WIBTA for calling the authorities on my neighbors for lighting off fireworks during the off-season?,NTA -112bhip,"I just moved into a uni house and my housemates, Mike and Lola, are best friends and I'm kind of on the outside a little. But, Mike and I do the same course so we have a small friendship group of our coursemates. We moved in in September and since then Mike has been eating only food that Lola makes for him. This would be fine but it got to the point where Mike would literally ask Lola if he could eat the food she was already in the middle of eating and he would never give her money for ingredients or anything. Again though, it's not my business so I never said anything.That was until Lola started to complain to me about the way Mike was doing this. A few weeks goes by and buy this time its December, and Mike buys very expensive concert tickets (£200<). Lola and I were sat in the living room, alone, and she told me about the tickets. I said in passing ""it's funny how Mike can pay for concert tickets but not for food.""A few days goes by and now suddenly Mike isn't talking to me anymore. I was confused and really didn't know what I had done. Then he posted something on twitter about someone he hates and wants nothing to do with. I messaged him and asked him if he was okay, and he told me the tweet was about his mom being overprotective...A few more days goes by and I'm talking to my best friend, Gigi, and we get to the topic of how Mike has been acting weird with me. Since Mike and Gigi are friends too, it turns out she had also messaged him about the tweet and he told her that the tweet had been about me and the concert ticket comment (apparently Lola had gone and told him I said that) and how that comment was making fun of his disordered eating and he had told Gigi that, ""He doesn't buy food because he wants to lose weight, not because of having no money.""I'm vaguely aware of his disordered eating and obviously, this isn't what I meant (I also have dealt with an eating disorder and would never poke fun at it.) My point had been that he eats Lola's food even though he is far better off money wise than her. I couldn't say anything to Mike though because I don't want to jeopardise his friendship with Gigi.But thankfully the semester ended and we all went home for the break. We all just got back though and by this point I haven't spoken to Mike in close to 2 months. So I messaged him and said things have been kinda weird and that I'm sorry if I've done anything wrong but he can talk to me if he wants to resolve anything. He said he would speak to me tomorrow about it all (he didn't and it's been over a week since then)I'm sorry this was so long, but am I the asshole??",AITA for getting involved in my housemates' drama?,ESH -11263sg,"For context, I've been with my (24F) fiancé (24M) since freshman year of high school. We're very close, and as a result I'm pretty close with his sister (17F). We'll call her Chloe because I don't want to dox her.Since wedding planning began, I knew she had to be a part of my wedding party because I love her so much. Here's where things get out of hand.My maid of honor planned out my bachelorette party so that I would be surprised. Most of the day was us hanging out, going to a spa, getting nails done, etc. We went to dinner, and at around 9:00 my maid of honor and Chloe went off to have a chat, after which Chloe left. I definitely remember asking her where she was going, but she said it was getting late and she didn't want to worry her mom.After dinner, we went to a club and got obscenely drunk, as one does at a bachelorette party.The next morning, I get a call from her mom asking why we were excluding Chloe from the bachelorette party. I was shocked and explained that we would never, but my future MIL was not having it. After getting off the phone with her, I called my Maid of honor to ask her what happened. She told me that she let Chloe know that we would be going to a club and drinking, and since she's not of age, she should probably avoid us.This made tons of sense to me, but I was still worried about Chloe being upset. I went to talk to my fiancé about it and he said Chloe was fine, and that his mom was just ""like that"" and ""don't you remember high school?"" We'd always planned to distance ourselves from our parents as soon as we got married, so his dismissive attitude made sense to me, but Chloe is still a part of my life and I love her, so AITA?",AITA for not letting my fiancé's sister come to my Bachelorette Party?,NTA -112b2p0,"My ex and I are no longer on talking terms. We tried being friends but suddenly she said that she wanted no contact. Please note that I’ve been nothing but nice to this girl, but she said that she just wants to follow what she originally wanted which was no contact. So now we are no contact. My ex has a roommate whom I’ve met a handful of times and actually like. She had told me that Darren is pretty shy but is pretty cool. The other day, I saw my ex, Darren, and Darren’s girlfriend all at the gym together. I approached Darren and asked if he wanted to exchange numbers and lift together sometime. He said sure and after we exchanged numbers, we went our separate ways since my ex was there. I have texted Darren twice asking him to lift. He agreed and we lifted together for a bit. Because he doesn’t have a car, my ex drove him and was at the gym as well, doing her own thing with someone else. From their conversation, I over heard her friend tell my ex that it was a “dick move” that I’m reaching out to my ex’s roommate to be friends with right after she asked for no contact. I saw my ex laugh it off but noticed that she didn’t say anything about it and moved the conversation on. Tl;dr based on my ex’s friend calling me a dick, am I the asshole? I just wanted to be friends with my ex’s roommate because I know he’s shy and has a hard time making friends. This isn’t to get back at my ex but apparently others see it differently.EDIT TO ADD: I have a new girlfriend and I strongly believe that my ex went NC after she found out that I have a new girlfriend. So all of you saying I have ulterior motives, that is not true.",AITA: For trying to befriend an ex’s roommate?,YTA -111zxmq,"Throwaway I (nb16) went out with 2 friends (m16) (f16) today and friend 1 ( let’s call them Kit ) wants to do a TikTok dance. The 2 of us say yes to doing a TikTok and we make a few. We go to eat lunch and throughout the whole lunch Kit is learning a TikTok dance. Ok cool. So after lunch we make another TikTok ( filmed twice because we messed up ). I literally get stomach stitches because I just ate so I say ok that’s it ( we agreed beforehand that after we did one TikTok we would do something else ) but after the TikTok Kit asks to do another one. I say no because my stomach is hurting and I just don’t want to. Kit throws a fit and other friend tries to comfort him by offering to do a TikTok with him and he says no. Aita?Edit: I never said this was a big deal, idk why y’all are making it seem like so. The sub is literally about asking if you’re an asshole, so I’m not too sure why y’all are mad this post exists",AITA for not wanting to do a TikTok with a friend,NTA -1125bv0,"So I (f18) moved to a new state a year ago and I have kept in touch with my old friends. My friend Sandra (f18) was stuck in my old school which the both of us despised.Recently however she had started making friends over there, which included a group of old friends from when I was still in the school. These friends had bullied us and gaslit us a few years prior as well which led to a split.Among this group of friends was my ex Damien(m18) . We had a sort of situationship prior to me leaving and it broke off on bad terms. Sandra and I did not like Damien for a long time after. Recently Sandra got her heart broken after she got played by another guy in the friend group, James(m19), he led her on for a few weeks before dumping her. I helped her through it and convinced her James was an AH. I couldn’t believe he had done this , James and I had been in boarding school together and we were on friendly terms, it seemed awfully out of character so I was instantly sympathetic to Sandra. A month or so after the dumping, Damien and I started talking again, to see if the sparks still existed now that we were both older. In a week or so I could see he hadn’t changed and he was still the arrogant little spoilt boy he used to be, I ghosted him. He also asked for my n**es several times and got upset when I refused.A week after that Sandra texts the group chat I have with her and my other friend and casually brings up that she thinks that right now Damien is her best friend. It confused me since she knew the things Damien had said to me and how awful he was. She simply said I didn’t know everything she knew about him. I let it go telling her she’s free to do whatever she wants, I don’t think it’s a big deal, I just wished she understood that he wasn’t a saint in the least. I know how easy it is to fall into his trap. But she assured me that it was completely platonic, I told her that wasn’t the point, And that she should’ve respected my opinion of him just as I had respected her opinion of James. I wonder if the friendship arose from the fact that I’m not in the state anymore and she needs someone to vent to.She’s also been a little clipped and curt with me for the last few weeks and I’m not sure if it’s because Of something Damien said or because she doesn’t need me now that she has another friend. I haven’t had time to wrap my head around my complex feelings since I’ve been very busy myself but I don’t know what to do about it.I know that there’s no way that Damien and Sandra could ever actually be in a relationship because she doesn’t like him and he’s not her type and vice Versa. But I can’t help but feel a little betrayed by all of this. AITA?Edit: I should mention that Sandra and I have been friends for 5 years and value our friendship a lot. + since moving to a new state I’ve been homeschooled so I’ve kept in close touch with all of my old friends. I’m aware that friends tend to drift apart with age and circumstance, but I’m just confused as to how she can switch to calling my ex (who treated me like shit) her best friends so suddenly and fast even though nothing happened between me and her and I’ve been supporting her through everything she’s been through",AITA for asking my friend why shes friends with my ex,NTA -112990s,"Am I a bad person for not going up to see my family? I won’t lie I have a very distance relationship with my family, they live in Edmonton while I live in Calgary. I rarely talk to them. I don’t have anything in common, they have kids and are really really religious. (They don’t know I’m a satanist)Mostly I have been focusing on my job because I haven’t had one for a very long time. In the past they would get me to come up for a week but trick me into staying for almost a month. Since I’ve gotten my job they have been trying to get me to come up and see my new niece. Now I don’t have anything against the kids but when I have gone up in the past to visit, I just get stuck watching them and existing in a space with no real interaction. It’s kind like they want my prescience there without talking to me or even trying to do stuff with me.My mother is really pushing me to take time out of my busy schedule to come up to visit in may. I really don’t want to go because it’s just going to be a bad time for me personally and I only get the weekends to spend with my SO. I also can’t drive so they are expecting me to pay for a bus ride there and back.",AITA: I don’t want to visit my family like ever.,NTA -111ya6q,"I (22F) am currently on a study abroad in Italy. My first night here I met a nice guy (21M) who was from the same university as me back home. We spent our first couple of weeks hanging out a lot, and we started making plans for places to travel while we are here. We have already bought tickets for a trip to Prague and Poland with two others here, and I mentioned wanting to go to Disney Land in Paris over spring break and my other friend (21F) said she would pass because she has been to Disney before in the states and doesn’t need to see it again, to which he agreed and said he doesn’t want to go either. I since found a sweet girl who is willing to go and make it a fun girl’s trip. For additional context, the guy has severe ADHD and knows I am on a budget, but still messages me frequently asking me to spend money to go out to dinners, or plan more trips (including messaging me while we are in class together, and inviting me out to dinner while he was sick and subsequently getting me sick). I have found this super frustrating, but figured its not harmful to my experience, and I can just choose to hangout with him less if it becomes bothersome. Because of this I really want to enjoy my break without him, but when I mentioned my new plans, he got really upset that he wasn’t invited and said he really wanted to go now, so WIBTA to tell him no?",WIBTA for excluding a friend from my spring break trip,NTA -112bt3u,"I (22f) have known my bf ""Andy"" (23M) for ten years, we've been dating for four years, and just moved in together a month ago. All through Andy's teenage years, there have been multiple break-ins in his neighborhood , as well as his four younger siblings who would often go through his things when he wasn't home. He's very possessive of some of his things, and he used to have padlocks on EVERYTHING(he still does have locks on things, but its on certain drawers where his valuables are left, which I'm cool with). I went to his house once and asked him why he did this and he just said ""all my valuables are in here. And i dont want anyone to take it."" I thought this was a valid argument and said nothing about it.A day before we moved in, I got into a car accident and suffered a concussion. I'm not sure how severe it was, but I had phantom smells as well as constant dizziness and headaches. Andy was great at taking care of me and helped set up everything in the house. Often times, I would smell really fruity scents, like artificial fruit. I'd ask him if he smelled it too and he would say ""its my gum, see?"" or ""no babe i don't smell anything. Are you feeling okay?"" So i thought all the fruity smells were just in my head and part of my concussion symptoms.Within the past week, I've started to feel a lot better, so I've been up and doing things around the house. A few days ago, Andy was running late for work and left one of these padlocked drawers open. I didn't realize it until about twenty minutes after he left, so I went to close it without looking. As I went to close it, a vape pen fell out. I was shocked, because in all the years I've known Andy, he's never shown any signs of being a smoker of any kind. I went to put it back and pretend I never saw it, but as I did, i saw the whole drawer was lined with vape pens of all different kinds. There might have been 50 in there. I was fuming when he got home and I showed him the pens I found. He started yelling at me, asking he how I found them and then swiped at my hand to get it back. He called me an AH for going through his things, and then went on to say how it was his life and I don't control him. I got out of the house and I'm spending a day or so with my brother (27M) and his wife (27F) until this blows over.My brother says I'm not in the wrong, but all of his friends have been calling me names and saying I'm acting like his parents and being so controlling. So AITA?",AITA for confronting my bf about this nic addiction?,NTA -11263sy,"Been with my wife 8 years and have a 6 year old with her. In that duration she has expressed a desire for a cat and I have told her I do not, but am willing to get one when we move to a place that allows it. After exiting the military I got a job that travels and a place that allows pets in my hometown. I told her to go ahead and find a pet. She has been a stay at home mom the entirety of us living together.While away on a trip a relative of hers found an abandoned kitten, so she took it in. It was a lot faster than I expected but both her and my kid were happy so I was happy(ish). Being as the cat was male I told my wife to get him fixed at the earliest availability because if he ever started spraying I would get rid of the cat to which she agreed. I have a more sensitive nose than her and already accept that she smokes pot which I do not like the smell off and didn't want to deal with cat piss as well.The cat is scared of me, but warmed up to me when it was younger. That changed when I started seeing scratch marks on both my wife and kid. Apparently my wife raised it wrong and made it playfully aggressive and suggested getting another cat. I told her no new cats as I don't want the financial responsibility or having two a-hole cats in the house.As the kitten got older I periodically reminded my wife to look into getting him fixed. Low and behold about 9 months after getting the cat he starts spraying. I asked why she didn't get him fixed and told me it was because it cost too much with both the fixing and fixing the cat's belly button. I immediately got the number for the humane society, practically forcing her to call as I said if she wouldn't I would. They directed her to a local stray fixing program the cat fell under (cheap to free) and scheduled an appointment half a month away as it was the holidays.During that time I holed up in my room (sleep separately due to the cat, cosleeping with the kid still, and not the best place in our marriage,) as I hated the smell. Cooking and eating food had to be done while smelling cat piss and I hate it.Surgery is done but the cat still sprays. Every time my wife cleans the spray, the cat takes it personally and sprays again.Today I am done, I am on a trip, open a bag and it smells like cat piss. It had sprayed on my iPad strap. Told my wife I am done, the cat has to go. She offered to drive to my location, clean what the cat did and drive back, about a 7-8 hour trip. I told her to realize how absurd that sounds. She told me she would look into rehoming it, but considering how long and the intervention required to get it fixed I doubt she will do anything.Why I might be an asshole is because me and my wife are getting a divorce (not related to the cat, but definitely not helping), we are just waiting for my kid to graduate this grade before splitting. Is it right of my to impose on my wife to get rid of the cat right before we move out of our place to our own places?",AITA for wanting to get rid of the family cat?,YTA -1124spa,"31m feels like I, 33f, disregarded his feelingsMy husband was telling me about how South Park apparently encouraged people to lean towards libertarian. I responded that there had to be other factors because, I also watched that show a lot. I suggested upbringing or community put them in a position to be nudged that way. As an example I brought up an article I read about the link between video games and being radicalized towards white supremacy or men's rights. My point being that the ""ideas"" had to be familiar enough that it wasn't a big step to move towards radicalization. I asked what community or social factors he thought might contribute to the show making ppl libertarian.He responded that he felt attacked because I used the word ""you"" instead of ""people"" or ""they"" when talking about the gamers and recruiters. I clarified that it was a ubiquitous ""you"". He said he understood that, and knew I wasn't directly addressing him but he felt personally attacked.He pressed on and asked that I use less direct language like ""one"" in the future.I said, if he knew I wasn't even talking about him then why did he want me to change my terminology?He asked me if I could acknowledge that his feelings were hurt. I told him, that I understand that his feelings are hurt but that I wasn't taking any responsibility.He then goes on a long rant about why are we even together if I'm not gonna care about his feelings. And how it makes him feel like he isn't an equal partner. And that he feels like I'm saying "" I know that I hurt you, but don't tone police me"".I'm like, if you knew the entire time that I wasn't talking about you and that I was saying ""you"" to refer to a general group then when did you feel attacked? And why do you expect me to feel remorse and apologize?I feel like I don't have anything to be apologetic for. So am I being an insensitive ah?",AITA for dismissing my DH feelings?,NTA -111y6zd,"I (18M) and my girlfriend (18F) have incurred an issue. My girlfriends ex boyfriend (18M) wants to visit her over the vacation before we go off to college. He is quite poor and it is a lot more convenient for him to stay with people as then he wouldn’t incur the expense of paying for a hotel or a hostel and he has never visited where we live. I have an issue with this because they never had a stage in their relationship where they were just friends, he has expressed his frustration while hanging out in groups when girlfriend didn’t spend enough time with him (after they broke up), he is generally inconsiderate (having my girlfriend always pay for him despite having a job and making my girlfriend walk hours when they dated to see him and not returning the favor etc.) and girlfriend says she isn’t too keen on seeing him alone anyways. MIL brought up the idea of him staying over the summer at a family gathering at which I was not present so my girlfriend was forced into accepting his request then and there. This seems to be a pattern of behavior for MIL and she is generally dismissive on issues pertaining to my permanence as a figure in their lives and disrespects the nature of our relationship often insinuating our inevitable breakup before college even though we are going in the same city. After explaining to me the situation, I asked my girlfriend to uninvite him but she did so on very vague terms mentioning she just had a partner and it would “be fine of course if they hung out in a group.” (Despite what happened last time) When she told MIL the news she had instantly blamed me and asked if I was the reason for the cancellation and told my girlfriend to sleep on it which she did and I told her she was perfectly fine having him there as I can’t control what she does with her life and can’t hold it against her to hang out with someone she rarely sees if she wants to and is just sparing my feelings. My main concern though is MIL. She was willing to host this guy who can’t even speak the same language as her and is generally just inconsiderate. I have tried to be kind, bought her things for Valentines Day, help her clean for guests and make conversation for hours about our shared interests. I wasn’t doing this for a favor just so that we would get along. Since I learned about the invitation I’ve been ignoring MIL and texts she’s sent in group chats and around the house when I visit. AITA?",AITA for giving MIL the cold shoulder?,YTA -1128lsq,"So I am 21F, my friend ""Sasha"" is 20F and her sister is 18. I went to Sasha's house to spend some time with her and I saw her sister's new hairstyle. We talked a bit then she left me and Sasha alone. While she was in her room I told Sasha that I thought her sister's new haircut was ugly and that it didn't suit her. After I said that Sasha looked a little mad and she changed the topic. Our conversations were starting to get awkward and it seemed like she didn't want to talk to me. So I left early. After I left and arrived home I called her and asked why she was silent after I commented on her sister's hair. She got mad at me and said that she was her sister and that I had no right to make a rude comment like that. She hung up on me. I asked my mom about this and she said I was wrong for making that comment. I wasn't trying to be rude. I just wanted to give feedback on why I didn't like it. Sasha and her sister blocked me so I can't apologize but I don't see any reason to apologize for their immaturity. AITA?",AITA for telling my friend I don't like her sister's hair?,YTA -1123c1c,"On Saturday, me and one of my best friends were participating in an event. It was gonna last for 2 days, when she said she’ll be late the next day, I jokingly rolled my eyes at her and said I’ll be lonely then. After that, starting from the next day, she completely stopped talking to me. A mutual friend said that she was mad at me for the eyeroll, which I thought was pretty ridiculous. Then comes Monday. She intentionally isolated me from my other friends at lunch. So today I couldn’t take it anymore and directly confronted her by asking to talk. I got the response of “I don’t want to” and that was that. I completely broke down in the middle of the cafeteria because I completely don’t understand how she can throw away three years of friendship just because of an eyeroll. I’m sure there’s other reasons, but if she doesn’t want to talk to me, there’s no way I can figure it out. I don’t know what to do anymore.",AITA for rolling my eyes at my friend?,NTA -1122vfk,"(English is not my native language) So, a bit of context.My daughter, Harriet (F11) joined a chess tournament a week ago represteing her school with four other girls. She had ended up with 1st place. 2 days ago, Harriet showed me a chess submission forum her teacher had sent her in a mall we usually go to. The entrance fee is around 10-20 dollars, so I agreed. Earlier this morning, I saw Harriet's hair was a mess, with dandruff everywhere. Now, Harriet is Awful at cleaning her hair, and usually has some sort of stupid excuse. (Eg. ""You never taught me how!"") So I told her, ""Harriet, you're getting a haircut."" She wasn't at all happy about this and told me she wouldn't, especially after I said I wanted her too get a Boy-short haircut. I got mad, as Harriet told me she would under no circumstances cut her hair. I got even more pissed because, well, why have semi long hair if you can't even take care of it properly? So I told her, ""If you won't get your haircut, I won't let you participate in the tournament.""She glared at me and said, ""You do this every time to get your way!"" So I did what I my eyes was reasonable and grounded her. Earlier this afternoon however, her Father told me and said I was being unreasonable. (We are divorced.) And that, ""Chess has nothing to do with her hair so why take that away."" But if anything, he's biased as he himself is a chess player. Am I the asshole?",AITA for not signing my daughter in for a chess tournament?,YTA -1122rza,"Derek (25M, fake name obvs) is my (25M) best friend since high school. For the record, I'm gay and Derek's bi and he's currently dating a girl. Well, this girl (let's call her Anna) is lowkey unhinged. She literally hates me for no reason, always bad mouthing me to Derek and trying to isolate him from me. She somehow has an entire scenario in her head about me wanting to steal her man, even tho I don't want him (in that way). I also suspect she's biphobic, I believe the only reason she doesn't trust Derek is cause he's bi and she probably believes the popular stereotype about them being cheaters.Well, yesterday I went to Derek's house to get him to go to a gay bar together (so he could wigman for me), but Anna overheard us and oh boy, the hell broke loose. She said how he doesn't her boyfriend to be in a place where men will hit on him and especially not when I'm also around. Derek tried to calm her down, but she kept going on about how she's tired of having to ""compete"" with me for her own boyfriend's attention and that they haven't even had a night out together in over 3 months. I got fed up by this toxicity and I told her straight up that maybe Derek wouldn't ignore her if she wasn't such a jealous b word. Well, it didn't go over too well, as she ended up kicking me out of their apartment and the gay bar night out was also ruined.Worst of all is that Derek wants to keep a bit of a distance from me till his gf cools down, which I'm 100% she's just blackmailing him with their relationship in order to ruin our friendship. I admit that what I said to her wasn't too classy, but her own behaviour was also getting all kinds of nasty. AITA ?",AITA for calling my friend's gf a jealous b word cause she wouldn't let us go to a gay bar together ?,YTA -1122ahq,"Quick backstory:My dad had an eye surgery gone wrong and has been out of work for about 5 years. He is my sisters (25) full time caregiver (cerebral palsy) when my mom is at work. He is very religious and expects me to live my life according to his beliefs.I am 22 go to university and live with my parents. I am financially independent and have been making my own money since last year. I usually help with the electric bill sometimes food and other major renovations that are needed around the house. When I get paid I mostly give my dad some money because he barely makes any money with his side business and my mom is very restrictive when it comes to money that comes into the house through her work and rental properties. She controls it all.The problem is that my dad expects me to be a saint/virgin mary I I’ll I complete uni, get a job and financially help them out as payback for raising me. He always wants to have serious talks about how to be a good Christian girl. I do good in school and go out once a year. I am tired and want to live my best life. So WIBTA if I stopped giving him money which he highly relies on as a form of retaliation to his expectations?Ps. Moving out is not an option. 1: I live in an African home where children are only expected to move out after graduating. 2: I don’t make enough to get my own place",WIBTA if I stop giving my dad money until he shuts up.,NTA +11119e4,"It started off when my friend (let's call her Lucy) started joking about how me and some other friends get no bitches. Y'know, just the typical ""HAHA, YOU'RE BITCHLESS!!!"" kind of jokes. I was at working through most of the day, so when I got home I decided to have some me time because the rush hours before the Super Bowl were fucking hell.I slept through it, and I asked my friends what'd I miss. Lucy's boyfriend started explaining that her and my other friend (let's call her Anna) were obsessing over Rihanna. Lucy misinterpreted it and thought he was making fun of them. I decided to send a picture of a reply with the skeleton trying to say something but rethinking what he was gonna say. Lucy, out of nowhere, decided to tell me again that I get no bitches and that I'm single. I just decided to just stop talking after that.Cut to an hour later, Lucy sends a funny dancing gif, and I reply by saying ""Pfff-"". Lucy, again, decides to call me bitchless again out of nowhere. She kept saying that I get zero bitches now. It was honestly starting to get annoying and on my nerves, and it started hurting that she was right, and after that, she said to stop laughing over her and Anna's excitement over Rihanna, but I didn't even make fun of them over that that time.I said ""What the fuck"", and her response was ""You also the reason why straight girls go lesbain and lesbian girls get more lesbian alongside Turing gay men straight"". After that, she kept telling me to ""bow down to our queen"". I was getting pissed off at this point with Lucy because she wasn't getting the hint that I was getting upset, but she still continued. The final straw was how she compared me to her 3 year relationship with her boyfriend and how easily Anna got a boyfriend in 2 days ago. She even said ""Like Rihanna sang in one of her songs ""You look so dumb right now"""".That was the final straw that I had with her and I said that she was pushing it. She still didn't get the message and said ""Bow to Rihanna and it'll be over"". At that point, I had to make it clear that I wasn't joking around and I directly told her to stop it. After that, Lucy said ""Tch fucking fun killer"", and I thought that maybe I was being oversensitive to the joke. Am I the asshole?",AITA for taking my friend's joke too seriously?,NTA \ No newline at end of file