post_id,post_content,post_title,verdict
10uxee0,"I know this post sounds super petty, but this is the most ridiculous fight I've had with my boyfriend, and unfortunately it's where we're at.I \[F28\] have never shaved in my life. I think it's up to the person regardless, but I've also just never really had a lot of hair. My boyfriend recently stayed over and asked to borrow a razor. Since I don't shave, I didn't have one on hand, and apparently that grossed him out. He told me that it was unhygienic to not shave and we argued back and forth about the issue when I finally told him that I'd only start shaving my legs if he shaved his first. He called me immature and petty, whereas I think he's being super fixated on this weird thing. It honestly wouldn't really bother me to shave, but I'm just more irked at his statements where he basically called me dirty. I was serious though: I'll shave whenever he shaves too.We're at an impasse but I wonder if I *am* being a little too petty about the whole thing.",AITA for telling my boyfriend I'll shave my legs if he shaves his?,NTA
10ur722,"My daughter Bryn F9 is going on a trip to a nearby water park with her class next week. She loves water and has been talking about it for months, so I was a bit thrown off when she came home crying a few days ago and told me she didn’t want to go. I asked her why and she wouldn't tell me because she thought I’d think she’s a “bad person.” When I finally coaxed it out of her, she said her teacher “Ms. N” has forced her to be the “buddy” of her classmate “Ben” for the entirety of the trip. She was to ride the bus with Ben to and from the trip, eat lunch with him, and go on all the rides with him instead of spending time with her friends. She then said nobody likes Ben because he whines whenever they have to do work and picks his nose and wipes boogers everywhere.I was horrified, not only because Ms. N had made Bryn do such a thing, but also because she had made her believe she was a bad person for not wanting to. Unfortunately this wasn’t my first experience with Ms. N, as she frequently used my soft-spoken, intelligent older daughter as a “behavior buffer” for the naughty boys until I threatened to report her to the superintendent. It’s clear to me that Ms. N is still too comfortable with enforcing archaic gender roles on her kids and forcing girls to do unpaid emotional labor for the sake of the boys. I immediately sent Ms. N an email condemning her actions. She sent me back an email with a bunch of bs that basically ended with “if Bryn goes on the trip, she has to be Ben’s buddy.” *Fine.* I informed her Bryn would not be attending then. I immediately booked VIP tickets the same day her class was going so she could still go to the park and see her friends.What happened next I wasn’t expecting. Bryn is quite popular, so I have gotten to know a lot of the moms in her class. When I let them know what Ms. N did, some of them were so horrified that they also pulled their kids out of the trip. In total, eight kids (out of a class of twenty) are either not going, or going with us. Today I got an email from Ms. N saying that because almost half of the class isn’t going, they either have to raise the cost for the other students or not go at all. She practically begged me to let Bryn go and tell all the other parents to let their kids go, promising she wouldn’t make Bryn do anything she didn’t want to do. I told her she should have thought about that before she tried to make my daughter do *her* job. My husband said I was being a bit petty and that Ms. N clearly feels bad about what she did, and I should let Bryn go as I’ve already gotten my way. He asked me if I really wanted to deprive children of what they’ve been waiting for all year. The thing is, if this wasn’t Ms. N’s first offense I probably would have agreed, but she has a pattern of this type of behavior and hopefully this will put a stop to it. Plus, if she has to explain this to her superiors, I have receipts. Is my husband right? Or am I justified?​UPDATE: Bryn WAS the only student assigned a ""buddy."" The rest of the students were free to do what they wanted.",AITA for pulling my daughter from a waterpark trip because her teacher made her stay with a kid she doesn't like?,NTA
10upxdd,"Alright so my son (17) has weekly therapy appointments that I take him to. Unfortunately, my husband let our daughter borrow his car and then had an emergency at work so he had to use my car so my son and I had to take the bus. It wasn’t ideal, but I’d rather the bus than miss an appointment. While it isn’t my place to share why he goes to therapy, I will say that he will often forget to eat. I usually make sure he’s fed, but due to the mess in the morning, it slipped my mind. The bus wasn’t too crowded but all the seats were taken. My son wasn’t doing too well and I could tell he was feeling dizzy from hunger+the bus. So the second someone got off their seat, I sat him down. I then tried to find a chocolate bar I had in my bag. While this is happening, I noticed an elderly woman and her adult daughter standing beside us. I didn’t pay much attention until the daughter tapped me on the shoulder. She asked if my son could move so that her elderly mother could have a seat. I felt really bad, I really did, but my son was not doing great and standing would make it harder. I had found the chocolate and he was eating it slowly but if he stood up right then, I can assure you he would’ve fainted. I apologized to her and explained that my son wasn’t feeling well. She rolled her eyes at me and said that she saw him standing earlier and that he’s a young healthy teenage boy-he’ll be fine. I apologized once again and told her that he wasn’t feeling well and that if he was then HE himself would’ve offered her a seat. The daughter told me to look at her mother and I admit, the poor woman looked really tired. But I couldn’t. My son had started to lean against me so I told the woman one last time that I was sorry and to ask someone else.I then heard them both whispering and calling me an entitled bitch. And when we got off the bus, a woman that got off with us said that a teenage boy can handle standing more than an elderly woman can and that she hopes someone treats me like that when I’m her age. My son was so out of it, I don’t think he even noticed or cared but I can’t get this off my mind. AITA? A totally unrelated woman thought I was along with the two.I wasn’t sitting down and did not have a seat.",AITA for not letting an elderly woman have my son’s seat on the bus?,NTA
10v2vra,We live three blocks away from my parents and they see our kids almost every day.  Hey husband's parents live a couple of states away and only see the kids a few times a year. It's easy when we go see them since we only visit when the kids are off school.  But when they come see us it is at random intervals through the year.  Not a problem really they are excellent grandparents.  With one small exception. They think our rules go out the window when they visit.  It's mean that we don't make the kids their favorite food every day.  Why can't the kids watch tv with them before they do their chores and homework.  Why do the kids have to be in bed so early.  It drives me crazy that I'm the bad guy because my husband won't put his foot down so I have to do it.  They came last week.  On Monday ss soon as dinner was over they wanted the kids to pay attention to them. They wanted to take the kids to see Avatar.  On a school night.  My husband allowed it.  Last straw.  I told him that he knew that throwing the kids off there schedule screwed me over.  So I gave him the choice of either enforcing our rules or I would.  He said he would take care of it.  Second night there was a hockey game on.  He wanted to watch it with our son who loves hockey.  I reminded my husband that our son had chores to do and homework.  He said it was just a hockey game.  I told the kids to get their stuff.  I took them and a change of clothes and their homework to my parents house.  My mom and dad will watch them and then take them to school in the morning.  I went back home and they were waiting for me.  I'm being a controlling and abusive person by denying them time with the kids. I'm not the only person allowed to make decisions regarding the kids.  They came all this way to see them and I'm being a jerk by keeping them on a schedule.  Fine.  They are visiting for a couple of weeks.  Wednesday after I picked up the kids from school and dropped them off at home with my in-laws. Then I went out for the first time in ages.  I told my husband I would be out late and didn't want to wake anyone so I would be at my parents house.  Did the same thing Thursday through tonight.  My husband has been calling and texting and coming over to tell me I need to come home because the house is a disaster because his parents won't do anything.  They are in vacation and they are there to see the kids not clean up.  The kids are having a fun time with no rules and he has been contacted by the school because no homework was turned in on Thursday or Friday.  I didn't answer those texts.  I said I would be back after his parents left or he enforced the rules.  He said I was taking it too far and that it was affecting his work.  Honestly tough shit.,AITA for taking my kids to my parents house to sleep because my husband will not enforce the rules when his parents visit?,NTA
10ung90,"My daughter (16) and I have gotten into a massive fight. My daughter has always been a picky eater and we have always done our best to accommodate her (Feeding her before parties weddings etc ). The problem lies with my husband's upcoming birthday ( turning 50).The restaurant he has picked is very special to us. That is where we first met as children for a business deal our parents had and then we became best friends when he asked me out in that very restaurant and our first date was there. When he proposed to me and who catered our wedding, I told him I was pregnant and we held my daughter's 1st birthday there. Unfortunately, we couldn’t go there a lot as we had to move for his job but basically, all the major events of our lives were held there. So for my husband's birthday to celebrate him turning half a century old, we want to go there.We once took our daughter there when she was 10 and she hated it. But now since she is 16 I thought she would have matured enough and it is not like I'm forcing her to eat. She has the option of eating at home and I've told her so many times that the restaurant does have food she likes to eat, but she claims that it smells bad. It is a seafood restaurant but we always sit outside at our usual table so I don’t understand that.She says that we are being selfish but I told her it's not about her it's not her day. In anger, she has refused to talk to us and not doing her usual chores and is refusing to eat. My husband is heartbroken and thinks it is all his fault and wants to cancel but I think it will just fuel her brattiness. Today my husband had to work late so it was only my daughter and me. When I called for my daughter to come to eat she looked at the food and then took the plate and dumped it in the bin.I was shocked, food is valuable and she didn’t have to do that. I snapped at her calling her a selfish insecure little brat. That she is not only hurting her father but ruining his birthday and it's not as if we are asking her to give up a kidney. That if she continues this behavior we will never fund her birthday parties ever again. She said that I am a terrible mother for saying that.I feel like I went overboard but that she is acting like a brat. AITA?Edit: I am sorry for the late reply I posted this and went to sleep, No my daughter does not have anything like autism or any food allergies, we tested her when she was 10.We can’t leave her at home because this restaurant is across the country from where we a going to meet our family and according to our country's laws she is still not allowed to be alone for more than a day without parental supervision.We have never had a fight like this and she usually is a chill kid i have no idea what has gotten into her.Edit: The reason we are not too strict with our daughter's eating habits is that we grew up in houses that were verbally and physically abusive, and it affected my husband the most. We never had the chance to go to therapy because at first, it was not a thing then it was too expensive and well we figured we didn’t have to.We did not want our daughter to be like us and we thought if she didn’t cause tantrums who is it really affecting? But my daughter has always gotten good grades and has had a lot of friends so this behave is really unique ",AITA for calling my daughter a selfish insecure little brat,NTA
10uj4d9,"Will try and keep it short.I suffer from migraines, and type 1 diabetes - we were advised not to try and get pregnant due to my lack of control of my blood sugars, it happened and it sucks (although I’ve been monitoring it so much better and been doing much better)1) I ask my husband constantly to turn the sleeves of his tops the right way in, he wears 2-3 tops a day (if he goes gym it’s 3, 2 if he’s going out which he 9/10 does) and he doesn’t, so I’m ironing 10 tops each week at minimum and it just gets so annoying to constantly be turning in the sleeves2) I ask him once a week to unload the dishwasher and get rid of the rubbish, I do it the rest of the time…rubbish wasn’t emptied and when I opened a cupboard a few plates fell out and one fell on me which hurts more than it sounds like!3) I had a migraine, I asked him to keep the lights off and keep it quiet and he insisted on a) playing loud music and b) turning the lights on.I just lost it, I’m so uncomfortable and it’s like I feel like I ask the minimum? So I told him I wouldn’t be having two children and asked him to leave, he wouldn’t so I texted my brothers and they came and made him leave. He’s texting me, I since calmed down, and saying I’m the AH because I overreacted, went nuclear and can’t do that when I have the baby - he’s insisting I apologise.AITA?Edit; noticed the error in title…should say making him stay at a hotel",AITA for “going nuclear” and staying at a hotel?,NTA
10ura66,"I have four kids from prior relationships, and my wife has one. She has full custody of her son, but I have two of my kids here full time and weekends for the other two. My wife gave birth on Wednesday and came home from the hospital on Thursday. The kids and I have been doing our best to keep the house as quiet and relaxing for her as possible.On Friday she asked me not to pick my youngest kids up, because she feels the house is already unbearable with three kids, and five is too much. I told her she knows that isn't possible. That's not how custody agreements work. Besides, how would that make my kids feel? She said she just gave birth, so her feelings are important. I said I'm not flaking on my kids, so we need to figure something else out.Friday when it was time for me to pick up all the kids my wife was napping. I didn't want to potentially wake her, so I told my oldest (he's 19) to hold the baby until I got back. When I got back with all the kids, my oldest and wife were screaming at each other. The best I can tell is that she woke up and went looking for me, my son told her where I went, she called me a thoughtless prick, my son called her a hateful witch, and then they started screaming at each other.I got the kids to all go outside for a bit while I talked to my wife. She said I was an unbelievably selfish asshole that couldn't even give her a break for one weekend. She said none of this would have happened if I hadn't insisted on picking up my younger kids. She said she wanted my oldest to leave, but I said that wasn't an option.She locked herself in our room. I get that childbirth is harder than I'll ever know and she's exhausted, but I don't feel like what she asked for is something I can give. Was I an asshole for insisting on getting my kids?",AITA for picking up my kids for scheduled custody time?,NTA
10ux79o,"So a little backstory, I(24F) and my husband(26M) due to financial struggles, have to live with my parents. We are staying here until I can get a remote job and he can get a better one where we can actually afford to save money to buy a house. We live in a 2 story house with unfortunately only one kitchen which is downstairs. My husband and I along with our children live upstairs and my parents live downstairs. We spend most of the day downstairs because my children enjoy spending time with my mother and she helps me out a lot with them. Anyway, we call the upstairs ‘our house’ and the downstairs ‘their house’. We offered to pay rent/utilities in the past but my father refused to accept any money from us, we insisted a few times but decided to let it go when he wouldn’t budge. My father is a truck driver so he is home every 2 weeks or so. My grandmother from my mother’s side is currently visiting from Europe so there’s a lot of people in the house.We have 2 boys, a 2 and a half year old and a 9 month old. My 9 month old recently started crawling so I decided to get him a playpen for when we are downstairs.When  I wanted to assemble it downstairs but my father told me to go assemble it upstairs cause ‘there’s enough shit here that everyone trips over anyways’.Okay no problem, I went upstairs and assembled it to which my mother got mad because I didn’t assemble it downstairs as she and I discussed it before.My father threw a tantrum because I have so many baby things downstairs, and yes, there was a crib, a bouncer and now there would also be a playpen for the LO.My mother got upset and brought the playpen downstairs to which my father said ‘oh yeah bring more shit here, there’s not enough, with the crib and the bouncer and the toys, yeah why don’t you bring that shit here too?’This hurt me, because in not so many direct words,he basically told me that my sons stuff bothers him, it made me feel like my son’s presence bothers him as well..So I got upset and removed EVERYTHING that was my son’s and brought them upstairs. I was so pissed off about it,because no one ever thinks about my feelings, especially my father, he always says the most hurtful things and doesn’t even care or realize how much his words hurt me..Anyway, a little after I brought everything upstairs, my grandmother came to me and told ME that I don’t know how to act, I am disrespectful towards my father by doing that blah blah. Like, EXCUSE ME? NOW IT’S SOMEHOW MADE TO BE MY FAULT?  I have changed my view of my grandmother after I had kids,my word means nothing when it comes to my children and what I say..the way my father talks to me like I’m a doormat but if I stand up for myself SHE will be the first one to tell me to shut up because I’m “a child” and that I shouldn’t talk back..I am just so done with these people, I’m actually considering moving to my inlaws who live in Germany just to get away.So, reddit, AITA?",AITA for removing every single toy/baby item from my parents house?,YTA
10uhg3s,"I (16 genderfluid) was recently at a close relative's wedding with my family (just guests, not as part of the bridal party or anything). The dress code the bride told us (and that was on the invite) was that women wore dresses and men had to wear something similarly formal e.g. a suit.I am AFAB so was told I would have to wear a dress. I don't identify as a woman however, so I wasn't comfortable with this and asked for a potential compromise on my outfit. She insisted that I wore a dress.Cut to when my family were ordering their wedding clothes/figuring out their outfits. My parents asked if I had found anything suitable and I sent them a link to a romper that looks very much like a dress at first glance, it's genuinely not noticeable unless you look closely that the bottom part is not a skirt.We got the romper, it arrives and everything is fine. I wore it to the wedding and for the first part everything seems ok, until I am pulled along too hard by a kid and end up tripping and falling face first, sprawled out on the floor. As everyone nearby gathers around to see what happened, the bride notices that the bottom part of my outfit is shorts and not a skirt, and loses her shit and starts screaming at me that she made it clear I needed to wear a dress and that I was being selfish by going against her wishes on her special day. I'm pretty sensitive and also hate loud noise as I'm autistic, so I start crying because the mix of pain from scraping my leg and her loud voice yelling is enough to overstimulate me pretty badly. My cousin leads me away to treat my wound, the bride stalks off still fuming and won't speak to us for the rest of the night until we eventually leave at the end of the wedding.I was reassured by some members of my family that I didn't do anything wrong, but I'm still super hung up over it and wondering if it was bad of me to wear that.I'm happy to provide a link to my outfit if anyone wants to see it to gauge for themselves.edit: [this](https://imgur.com/a/tMYgVFL) was what I woreedit 2: not attending wasn't really an option, she was marrying a close family member and we were pretty much expected to be there. my parents said that i needed to come as welledit 3: this is the most feminine item I own by far, and the discomfort is mainly subconscious with dysphoria and all, and the being forced into a gender binary when that's not who I am. plus, i enjoy the security of not worrying if my skirt will fly up in the wind. i would've much preferred a pantsuit or something but knew that wouldn't go so this was the closest thing to fitting dress-code i could findedit 4: i am perfectly fine with providing photos of the professional photo prints they had done of the event when they are ready (as evidence), it just might take a while",AITA for wearing a romper and not a dress at a wedding?,NTA
10v0goc,"My wife and I ran into our coworker earlier today. He has never met her. I introduced her to him. He jokes around often and when i introduced them to each other he said “ I thought Alexis was your wife.” She’s a coworker. Him and I laughed, but not my wife. He noticed because he got serious and said “I’m kidding, nice to meet you.” After we got home my wife asked me who Alexis was. I told her she’s a coworker. She then asked me “so, what’s that all about?” I told her if she’s serious and it was clearly a joke, to lighten up a little. That didn’t help, she said to never laugh at things like that. I thought it was a harmless joke. Needless to say, she wasn’t happy still when I left. Aita?",AITA for telling my wife to lighten up over a cheating joke my coworker made?,YTA
10utyes,"Growing up I always wanted a dog but our apartment complex didn't allow them, then thanks to finances and situations it didn't quite pan out in adulthood either. Now that we have a bigger house and kids are older (14 and 8) wife and I have decided now is the time. We got the kids a dog for Christmas.The only problem is my younger daughter doesn't like the dog at all. We thought she needed time to adjust but even now she recoils if the dog comes near her, she doesn't pet him or even talk to him, she doesn't want to take part in caring for him as part of her chores. My older daughter is good with walking him because she runs after school anyway but even she can't get her sister interested in helping be a dog parent.My younger daughter outright says she wishes the dog would go away. Wife and I had a discussion and decided this won't be an option. Her main complaint is that the dog is too loud and has chewed up her toys. I understand where she is coming from but the dog is just a puppy so obviously it will not be doing that forever. We don't want her to be unhappy, but the rest of the family likes the dog and we're sure she will get used to it. AITA?",AITA for keeping a dog my daughter doesn't like?,YTA
10ulsrp,"Link to original post: [https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/104v9q5/aita\_for\_telling\_my\_cousin\_i\_didnt\_care\_about\_his/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/104v9q5/aita_for_telling_my_cousin_i_didnt_care_about_his/)So, a month has passed and things solved itself so I thought an update was needed.Carl came to my house one week ago. He apologized and brought gifts:\- A new physical copy of my book. Now this needs an explanation: except for me, the only person who has a digital copy of my book is my older sister, Federica. Federica is a No-bullshit kind of person. If the chance of me forgiving Carl were 1 out of 10, the chance of my sister doing the same things were 1 out of 1000. When he told me he convinced my sister to give him a copy to reprint it I was astonished.\- A full collection of figurines of the main cast of my story. There are 5 main characters in the story and only two of them were on the cover I printed, which mean that he read the book and drew/had someone else draw a sketch of the other 3 characters in order to make their figurine. They are 25cm tall and I admit they look really good.\- He paid me back for the physical copy he destroyed. I asked him why he was giving me the money since he had just given me a new copy and his parents had already paid me. He said that the new copy was in place of the one he destroyed, while the money were an apology.He apologized for what he did that day and explained me his reasons ( a mix of jealousy and bad timing) . Things are still not completely fine but they are better. He thanked me for bearing his hobby all these years. I apologized for losing my temper and insulting his hobby. While I don't share his passion over figurines, I can understand how much and love he put in every one of them.He looked sincere in his apology and we parted amicably.I decided to give back to his parents the money they originally gave me as an apology. I spent a couple of hours choosing what to do with the 5 figurines he gave me. For now I put the 2 ""original"" on my desk and the other 3 on the top shelf of my library. I have to admit, having figurines made about my own book is really cool and I spent quite a lot of time looking at them in the past week.I want to thank all of you for your support on the original post. Bye.",UPDATE: AITA for telling my cousin I didn't care about his stupid figurine after he destroyed my book?,NTA
10up4gf," My husband (M36) and I (F36) have 2 kids, a daughter (F14) and a son (M13). Our daughter turns 15 later this month, and we had a birthday party planned for her but in light of recent events, we decided to cancel. Our daughter is friends with some popular mean girls. We are working on things like therapy and consequences. Unfortunately, her latest behavior was the worst yet. Our son is very sweet and hasn’t run into any issues with him being mean yet. Our son met a girl on a cruise we went on in April of last year, the girl lives about 40 minutes away, so they don’t go to the same school. My son and the girl hung out together the whole cruise and started dating soon after.His girlfriend is an absolute sweetheart, very bright and loves sports like my son. The girl is also Indian-American, she was born here and so were her parents but both sides of her family have relatives in India. The girl and her family went to India last month and my son was invited many months ago, we signed all the paperwork needed and he was able to go with them. They came back a few days ago, my son really enjoyed it and brought back souvenirs (some sports stuff) for himself and family members. One of those family members was our 5 year old niece, who is my sister and her husband’s daughter. He had brought handmade dolls for my niece, my sister lives about 5 minutes away, my son sometimes babysits for my sister. They also have a son, which he also got gifts for. The issue is, the day he came back, my sister and husband came over with their son and daughter to get the gifts. My daughter had her friends over, while he was presenting the gifts, our daughter and her friends were in the living room with us, we could hear laughing when he presented the dolls and a few of the girls had their phones out. At the time, my husband and I thought nothing of it, we thought they were on TikTok. My sister, her husband and my husband and I eventually left the house to get food we ordered. We came back, they ate and left.The next day, I got a phone call from my sister saying that her daughter was asking her if the dolls were ugly, and she said my daughter said something about it. We immediately went to her room, asked her what happened, she giggled and refused to answer, when we asked for her phone, she refused, so we shut the Wi-Fi off until she gave in. She and her friends had posted an Instagram story making fun of the dolls. My husband and I decided that with her increasing mean streak, this was the final straw and told her that her friends were toxic and that she wouldn’t have a 15th birthday party bc of her actions. When I called my parents to tell them the party was canceled, they got mad at me and told me I over reacted, my sister and other siblings are saying I’m doing the right thing and our son told us he’s giving his sister the silent treatment and is very mad at her. AITA?",AITA for cancelling my daughter's birthday party?,NTA
10uj07i,"I (19M) visited the zoo today with my family and we were checking out the koalas, who I was especially excited to see. You may not know this, but koalas apparently need over eighteen hours of sleep a day to function or else they can get quite unhealthy quite quickly, and so any exhibit of them at a zoo will often come with an expectation that you maintain a certain level of silence while observing them. This zoo today was no exception - you are made to go through two gates, both of which have signage saying ‘Please be quiet, keep the noise down, silence please, etc’ and then the door to the koala house itself has another sign: ‘Please keep noise levels to a minimum’. With all those reminders, I figured people would get the memo, but as soon as we entered the enclosure (which was a small room indoors with a glass window looking into the koala pen) I spotted a couple in their early thirties with two young kids and a baby. I somewhat apprehensively tried to observe the koalas (they were so cute and my little sister was happy to see them) but then, like clockwork, the baby starts crying. Hardly the baby’s fault - it’s a baby, they cry - so I gave the dad of the family the benefit of the doubt thinking he’d either take the baby out or calm her down. A few moments pass; the baby gets more annoyed and cries louder. The koalas scurry away, hiding in their cubby holes, and others wake up from their sleeping.I give the dad the look. I feel like everyone knows the look - we’ve either had someone give it to us or given it to someone else. I’m not sure I’d ever been on this end of it, but I’d definitely received some looks at times.Baby continues to cry. I (being a socially awkward autistic teenager) grapple with the idea that the dad might have missed my giving him the look so I do the classic: I shake my head and give a little sigh. No change. I throw another look his way - this time a little more firm - but I feel like I overdo it - my eyes are a little too intense, perhaps - because suddenly the dad is saying, in the voice of someone who’s just gotten a lecture ‘Well alright mate, it’s just a baby’ to which I reply with a gesture towards the sign ‘Silence, please’. ‘But it’s a baby!’ he says. ‘Well don’t bring a baby in here’ I reply, in a whisper. My parents jump on me, thinking I’m out of line and the couple and their kids give me the filthiest of looks and leave the enclosure, leaving me feeling very tense.What do we think? I feel like this is a very common struggle in a public place where there aren’t always members of staff to enforce the rules. We want to pick our battles, of course, but this family bringing their baby in spoiled my little sister’s magical moment seeing a koala for the first time. Surely they should’ve seen the signs and thought ‘Probably best to not bring little Charlie in’ or, if they really wanted to see the koalas, the dad could’ve stayed outside with the baby and the mum and the kids could’ve gone in. AITA?",AITA for telling a guy to move his crying baby out of a quiet enclosure at the zoo?,YTA
10ukzpr,"recently, my friends and i went to a restaurant for dinner, where i noticed there was a cute waiter that was serving us. i told my friends, not thinking much of it.throughout the whole dinner, they proceeded to embarrass me about it, sometimes around the waiter, even asking to take a selfie with him. at the end of the dinner, while waiting for a friend to use the restroom, i noticed a friend of mine talking to the waiter 1v1, and i panicked, worried they'd embarrass me again but worse. i left (the bill was already paid for atp) and waited outside for them.they all come out smiling and laughing, saying they told the waiter i thought he was cute, and they got his number. i felt beyond embarrassed now.they put his number in my phone, and i said fuck it and sent a text. i wasn't expecting much to come out of this, so i was shocked to see him reply. we continued to talk throughout the night, even after my friends and i parted ways.the next morning, i was happy, the waiter and i were having a good conversation the same morning.later at lunch, my friend confessed that it wasnt the waiter that i was texting, it was my friend. my friend group was in on it, and even made a groupchat to laugh at me behind my back, leaking the messages and such.i was so mortified, they told me in front of most of our friend group (as i went to dinner with only 4 of them)i angrily left, sending a message to our discord server saying ""fuck you guys"" and went off on them.they thought i was upset at being catfished, and while i am somewhat upset, i was mainly upset for being turned into a joke and laughed at behind my back by people who i called friends. 2 of them were my best friends.some of them had said im overreacting, and some say im making it a bigger problem than it needs to be. my family says i should drop them, but idk what to do. some people say im right for being upset, and im not overreacting.aita?",AITA for wanting to drop my friends after they turned me into a joke?,NTA
10un17c,"Backstory, when my daughter ‘Georgia’ was 13, her mother and I divorced. I didn’t want to uproot Georgia, therefore they kept the house and I moved into a nearby apartment. My ex was a SAHM, I continued paying all the bills for two years. Currently, I’m still paying only the mortgage. Georgia is now 17 and resides with her mother. 16 months ago I met my now girlfriend. During that time, I purchased a house to get out of my apartment. My girlfriend moved in a few months back. Prior to that, I introduced her to Georgia. As I expected, she had a very ‘whatever’ attitude. I understand changes such as these are hard for kids to cope with. Since the divorce, Georgia could come and go as she pleased. Since my girlfriend moved in though, Georgia became obnoxious with constantly trying to run her off and humiliate her. The first incident, Georgia came over one afternoon while I was at work to say when she got home from school the previous day, I was coming out of her mother’s bedroom. She knew this was not true as I had been with her that entire day. I sat Georgia down for a serious reality check. Georgia was apparently snooping through our mail, she saw my girlfriend’s DOB. For the record, we’re 13 years apart both divorced with kids. Georgia asked my girlfriend, “So what do you see in my dad, a caregiver?“ One early Saturday morning she came over while we were still sleeping. She had brought empty Depends underwear boxes and stacked them in the living room. When we woke up, Georgia said, “Wow, so you wear Depends just like my grandpa does huh?” Thereafter, Georgia would refer to her only as ‘grams’ or ‘the old hag.’ The next incident, she used our bathroom, said she ‘stunk it up’ and used some ‘old lady smelling cologne’ to mask the odor. It was actually very expensive perfume, Georgia sprayed about 70% of the bottle around the house.The final straw happened last weekend. Georgia came over for breakfast. At some point, she took my phone and sent her mother a message that read, “I can’t stop thinking about you, I want to work things out and get back together.” She deleted the text from my phone. Unbeknownst to me, she had mother’s phone on her. Took a screenshot then deleted the text on her mother’s phone. Tuesday, she sent the screenshot to my girlfriend on her mother’s phone and said, “I’m sorry, I think you need to know.” She then deleted that text as well. This nearly caused her to leave, exactly what Georgia wanted. I immediately changed the locks. Before I could speak with Georgia, she showed up and couldn’t get in. She called, we both were pissed off for different reasons. I told her she’s not welcomed at our house until she has a serious attitude change. Her mother called, said I traumatized Georgia, claimed the text incident was a load of shit that never happened (Georgia admitted it). My ex said to be prepared to pay for her therapy, because she’ll need it after I put some tramp above my own child.",AITA for changing the locks on my daughter?,NTA
10ubcp5,"I (f33) have one sibling, an older brother, Dan (m36). Dan and I never had the closest relationship even when we were kids. I can't exactly pinpoint why but it was just the way it was.Our mum was a single mother, and our dad was in prison serving a long sentence, and only got out when I was 17 and Dan was 20.When we were kids, our mum was working two jobs as a housekeeper and as a school lunch lady to make ends neat. We were really broke.As soon as I turned 16, I got a job working in retail to contribute to the household and hopefully save up for university. I was starting to save up quite a sizable amount of money after a year.In that same year, Dan got one of his coworkers pregnant. Shortly after she gave birth, she was hospitalised multiple times with post-partum psychosis and eventually lost all custody of the baby. Dan took custody and so it was me, our mum, Dan and the baby in a two bedroom flat. It was feeling a bit crowded and cluttered and Dan vented to me many times about how he needs to get his own place.Dan was really struggling for money, he was working a minimum wage job and had all the baby expenses to worry about.When I was 17, Dan stole my debit card and bank details, and withdrew all of my savings, which was around £2K. He put my debit card back in my wallet and then left the house with the baby and moved in with his new girlfriend.I felt so betrayed that he would just take something that I worked so hard for.My mum told me I was forbidden from going to the police about it, and told me to just let it go, as Dan is struggling and needed it. When I was old enough to go to university, my dad gave me money to go towards my expenses.I hadn't spoken to Dan since that day and Dan never attempted to speak to me either.Last week my mum tried to sneakily get me and Dan to meet up under the guise that we were just getting a normal dinner at a restaurant and he was in on it. I told them that I don't want to see Dan.Dan told me I need to grow up and I can't hold a grudge over this forever. It was such a long time ago and he was young and desperate, and he's still my brother. He said it's only money and I shouldn't be so materialistic.I told him it's the principle of it, that I'm his little sister and he stole something significant from me. He said I'm dramaticising the situation, and that he was in a rough patch and surely I could understand why he did it.No one in the family is on my side here except my dad and I'm wondering if I really am being so wrong and so cold-hearted.",AITA for holding a grudge against my brother for stealing money from me 16 years ago?,NTA
10uczru,"Throwaway, I'll keep it as short as I can. I don't think I'm wrong in backing out but I've got people telling me otherwise. If anyone's curious I'm 22 and my step sister is 24So we're going to Canada on vacation with my mom's side of the family - mom, step dad, 2 step sisters (this post is about ""Annie"", fake name), BIL and step brother.Parents want it to be a close family vacation, which I can get so no friends, boyfriend, girlfriend so on are invited. I've would've liked my bf to come, but I didn't mind until I heard my parents were changing the rules.Annie has a medical condition. She's a lot closer to her mom than my step dad (her bio dad) and step dad says he doesn't think he can spend the time with Annie if she needs assistance. They're allowing Annie to bring her bf because she apparently feels the most comfortable around him, and he can support her if needed.I think it's hypocritical of them to allow Annie to bring her bf, but not mine. She would have her dad there, also us which is supposed to be the point of the family vacation. I told them I also feel comfortable around my bf, so if that's the reason he should be allowed to come too. Step dad said no, and mom said she gets my point but Annie isn't the same as us.I told them if they're going to change the rules like this, I don't want to go.Now mom is pissed at me and said I'm being selfish about our vacation.AITA?Edited to add, Annie is blind",AITA for backing out of family vacation because parents are allowing step sis to bring her boyfriend but not mine?,YTA
10uqw4f,"My BF and his brother are very competitive. Recently they were doing their stupid braggart crap. “I can shoot more free throws than you, well I have a higher SAT score than you, blah blah blah.” Bf’s brother said “my GF has bigger boobs than yours.”(she and I were both there.) He meant it as a self-deprecating joke and we all laughed. But soon BF and brother began “debating” the issue for real. BF’s brother asked his GF what her bra size was, she told him and it was smaller than mine. My BF asked what my size was and I told him it was private and I wasn’t comfortable sharing. BF’s brother declared that meant he “won” by “default” and started rubbing it in BF’s face. Later BF gave me a lecture about how couples are supposed to “support” one another and how I wasn’t “supporting” him.",AITA for not telling my BF my bra size?,NTA
10uolan,"My fiancé recently started collecting horror movie posters; in particular, Exploitation and Giallo; that's his thing. I have a 10 year old daughter from my first marriage and asked him to please put them up in his ""chill out"" room (where he games, does Fantasy Football, watches movies I don't wanna see, & smokes) because I didn't really want her seeing them all the time & she never goes in there. He put them all up in the living room anyway as a ""surprise"" so I could ""see how good they looked."" I know he loves these things, but her paternal grandparents were coming to visit and I didn't want them staring at ""I Spit on Your Grave"" or ""Three on a Meathook"" when they came in and sat on the couch to watch her choir recital with us on the big TV. I asked him to please take them down before they got here, but they were still up on ""D-Day."" So I very carefully took them all down while he was at work and put them back up in his chill out space, same way he had them on display in the LR: thumbtacks; I tried to put them back in the holes that were already there. He was sooooooo upset when he got home and saw. Said it was ""disrespectful"" and that some of them were valuable and he wanted to frame.He's kept them in there, but I can tell he's upset I don't want to ""show them off"" in more prominent parts of the house. He says since movies are just pretend it shouldn't bother my daughter and that some of these films are ""classics."" He also reminded me she isn't here all the time because I share custody with my ex. I guess since he spent money on them and time hunting them down he wants them more on display.AITA for moving the posters?",AITA for moving all of my fiancé's horror movie posters to a different room?,NTA
10unudp,"I 23F recently got engaged to “Jim” 25M. We don’t like super extravagant weddings, so we plan to keep things simple and frugal. We received money from our families, but we’re using it for a nice honeymoon and using our own bank accounts for the wedding day.Although the title may make it seem otherwise, my step-mother “Kim” and I have a good relationship. She gave me a hefty amount of money and asked that I use it for a dress. She said she was very poor at the time of her first wedding and didn’t get to wear a beautiful dress on her big day, and it would mean the world for me to get to wear one. I obliged. I wasn’t planning on spending my own money on an expensive dress, but the amount of money she gave me the opportunity to wear my dream dress. She even took me dress shopping along with my grandmother and helped me pick the most perfect dress. It was a classic fit and flare, and with all the money I was able to get some custom embroidery done. Not only was it a beautiful dress, but it flattered my body perfectly.A few days after I picked out the dress, however, Kim approached me and asked me if I would like to wear her mother’s old wedding dress from the 1970s, and said she’d give me twice the money she had initially offered to do whatever I pleased with if I agreed. I turned her down. I know it’s a lot of money, but the wedding will be a day I remember for the rest of my life and I really wanted to wear a dress that suits me. The dress in question was puffy with no shape–it would be like getting married in a down jacket.When I said no, Kim explained that she sent me a photo of me in the dress to my step-sister “Bea” 25F and Bea had a freakout and said she wouldn’t come to my wedding if I wore that dress. Some background on Bea: our relationship was strained from the beginning. I had better grades than her, dated better looking guys, went to a more prestigious college, got a higher paying job, and I’m now getting married to the guy we both liked in high school while she is still single. Plus, Bea is overweight and very insecure about how she looks, and has always taken out her insecurities on me. Kim said watching me get married to Jim would be hard enough, and I didn't need to wear a dress like that and make it worse. I still refused to wear the old dress. I told her I’m not going to compromise my wedding to coddle Bea’s insecurities. She then asked for her money back and I said no, she gave me the money and the dress is already paid for.I left it at that but then I got a call from my dad telling me I was rude to Kim and Bea and that I should be able to compromise a small thing about an otherwise perfect wedding for Bea’s sake, or at least pay Kim back the money for the dress. I *did* give her back the leftover money, which was a couple hundred dollars, but I refuse to give back the money I spent on my dress, or wear a different dress. Am I an AH for that?",AITA for refusing to wear a hand-me-down wedding dress?,NTA
10u8muo,"I (25F) am getting married in September. My husband, Mike and I are doing a big wedding for 250 guests. I've always dreamed of having a storybook wedding. I asked my best friend Marissa (25F) to be my MOH and she happily agreed. She's been a huge help to me in every step of planning the wedding. Marissa is in a poly relationship and she has 3 partners. Greg (24M), Brandon (27M) and Ace (22NB). She's been with Greg for 5 years and was the first partner she had. They added Brandon and Ace over the course of their relationship with Ace being the newest member. They all date each other and seem to be happy. I don't really ""get"" it if I'm being honest but it's not my business. However the issue came into play when Mike (32M) pulled me aside and said while he loves Marissa he didn't feel like spending the wedding explaining her love life to his family. Which I understand, they are very conservative and hardly accept LGBT people as is let alone a LGBT polyset. I had already reserved 4 spots of Marissa & co but my husband suggested he invite a few coworkers to take the partners spot and Marissa could come alone. I didn't want to ruin his big day so I agreed reluctantly. I know I should have told Marissa from the get go but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. So when invite went out she called me up immediately and asked why she didn't have a plus 3 invite. I explained to her exactly what I said above and she just said ""oh"" and hung up. Next thing I know Brandon is calling me and begging me to reconsider saying they promise they won't act like they are in a relationship but they want to be there for me. Except I can hear Greg in the background telling him tell me to fuck off and that I'm am asshole and he doesn't even want to go. I explain to Brandon that I already gave their ""spots"" to Mike's coworkers. Brandon says okay thank you and hangs up. Marissa texts me the next day saying she isn't coming unless they can go. Mike said he can't uninvite his co-workers now so it's not his problem. I told him I would add them and pay the costs and he just said if I want to spend the whole time explaining their relationship to people than so be it but he isn't wasting his time doing it and will just send people my way. Our other friends think I'm an asshole but Mike's friend and a few of my non mutual friends don't think i am. Just want some more unbiased opinions.Edit: I am the asshole, that's for sure. I followed a lot of advice in this post and asked Mike what he thinks in the morning. He said to talk to Marissa first and see what she wants and we'll make it work. I also had him read over the post himself and he said that a lot of the comments opened his eyes on how he himself was coming off. So we both decided to call Marissa together and beg for forgiveness. We called her and she was happy to talk. We explained our side of things but acknowledged that it was a massive fuck up and could have been handled so much better. We invited her and her partners, obviously and said we would be happy to whatever it takes to have them forgive us. She asked her partners about it and Brandon and Greg both agreed they would prefer to just ""split"" the set up. So Greg and Marissa would be a couple for the wedding and Brandon and Ace would be a couple. They however would need to talk to Ace first (they were at work) and that they would get back to me. So that's where we currently stand.Edit2: I never told Marissa I was inviting her partners, I just had a list of invites with Mike. I'm still the asshole but wanted to explain that.Last edit: Ace got out of work a few hours ago and we all got on speaker phone and had a long conversation with this post pulled up. The crew was all happy to be defended but did think people went a little harder than they would have even Greg. He actually laughed at me calling him self absorbed because he is lol. Anyway. We're all good :) they are coming. They gave permission to tell Mike's parents. We called them after and they understood but said don't let Nanni know or she'll be asking questions all night. It's been a huge relief and I think we learned how to communicate better as a couple.",WIBTA for not inviting my poly friend's partners to my wedding?,YTA
10ul5b9,"My husband has a 9 year old daughter, Maya, from a previous relationship. We have her on weekdays and she's with her mom on weekends.Maya has a weak immune system. She doesn't get sick too often, usually a few times a year, but when she does it kicks her butt. Last weekend she started running a fever. Her mom called us, told us that Maya was sick, and offered to keep her until she recovers because she was recently laid off and doesn't start her new job for a few more weeks. Here's the thing with Maya's mom. She recently became interested in homeopathic remedies and eastern medicine. We've gotten into arguments before about vaccinations and medicine for a chronic illness but as far as my husband and I knew, she didn't have a problem with short term otc meds like Tylenol or cold medicine so we agreed to let Maya stay with her mom. Maya texted me a couple days ago saying she wanted to come home. I asked if everything was okay and she said yes but she didn't want to be at her mom's house anymore and wanted me to pick her up. My husband was working late so I went to pick her up. Her mom didn't want to let me in at first but I eventually got to Maya. She looked horrible. Apparently her mom didn't know any ""natural cures"" for whatever Maya had but thought letting it run its course without any medicine would be healthier than giving her medicine.  I called my husband and he met us at the house and took her to urgent care. I'm taking some time off of work to take care of her while she recovers. The problem is her mom is furious with us for picking her up ""early"", keeping Maya home on her weekend, and for disregarding her input on Maya's health. AITA for picking her up early and keeping her here during her mom's weekend.","AITA for picking my step daughter up ""early"" from her mom's house?",NTA
10un335,"My wife and I have three children. My parents brought up five kids and my dad would call us our names, our nicknames, random names he thought we had, boy, girl, son, daughter, or hey you.  When we had our kids I did the same.  Until my oldest, my daughter, brought it up at a meeting with her counselor that it made her feel bad that I called her names like that.  So I stopped.  I talked to my sons and they both were fine with it.  Sometimes when I call out ""boy"" they yell back ""me boy or him boy""?  But since that meeting I have never referred to my daughter by anything other than her name.  Other than that our relationship has not changed.  I accepted that she didn't want to be treated a certain way.  Last summer we had a family reunion.  My parents were the guests of honor since it was also their 50th anniversary.  We live across the country so it was the first time that my wife and kids were around so much of my family at once.  It was a great time.  And all my relatives were yelling for their kids constantly.  And my daughter was the only one that was only being called by name.  No one made a big deal about it or anything.   Last week I was asked to meet with her counselor again.  It turns out she is feeling excluded by my family because they don't call her girl or hey you.  She is mad at me for having fun nicknames for her brothers but only calling her by her name.  I asked if she remembers why that started.  She said that I embarrassed her in front of her friends by calling her girl.  And that she had asked that I call her by her name.  So now I'm confused.  She had no problem being called by her name for over a year.  Now that she has seen that is how my family is, which she knew before because we had gathered together before in smaller groups, she wants to be called nicknames and stuff again.  Which is fine.  So I asked if she wanted me to limit her nicknames to private family time?  For example when I take them to the movies I will call them by her name, boy number one, and hey you.  Which was something she had brought up as rude before.  She said I was cherry picking situations and that I should just know.  I don't since I cannot read her mind.  She is 16.  Her brothers are 14, and 13.  At the reunion my dad and uncles all referred to me as fat boy.  I'm 6'1"" and 275 pounds.  They are all short, jealous Hispanic, beanpoles.",AITA for only referring to my daughter by her given name.,NTA
10ufsch,"Original post here: /r/AmItheAsshole/comments/yi5bty/aita_for_cancelling_a_trip_and_refusing_to_pay_my/People were so kind to me in the comments that I wanted to give an update on this. TL;DR I'm doing well but it's been a long couple of months![To the people who said Polly was lying about booking a flight because it seemed suspiciously cheap/she could've cancelled within 24 hours - she booked on a cheap UK airline and this is fairly standard pricing, plus their cancellation/refund policies are what you'd expect from an airline where they charge you extra just to sit next to the person you booked with! She's many things but not a total liar, she definitely booked after I told her not to.]After everything blew up with Polly, we didn't speak for a couple of weeks. I talked it over with my parents and they said that I was under absolutely no obligation to pay her a penny, which I agree with, as did all of this sub! However they suggested that I could offer to pay a small amount (like 20% of the fare) in the interests of salvaging the friendship. I liked this idea as I was still feeling so heartbroken and didn't want to throw away 10+ years of friendship if avoidable. So I sent her a message explaining that I didn't feel I owed her any money for her mistake, but that I really cared about her and our friendship and that I would be willing to make a small contribution if it meant that we could meet on happier terms in the future and resume our friendship.Well, she left me on read. For OVER A MONTH. She did eventually reply to tell me that I should still pay the full fare (claiming she was ""seconds away from booking"" when I originally spoke to her), and then messaged me a ""reminder"" of this a few days later. That second day was my birthday and she sent me no well wishes along with it, just a reminder that she wanted money. I'd finally been pushed over the edge, I was absolutely raging and told her it was unacceptable to message me shit like this on my birthday. That was the last time we spoke and I've now blocked her on everything.It also turns out she didn't tell as many of our mutual friends as I thought. One of them is no longer speaking to me, I've tried to reach out but she's ignoring me, so I'm leaving it because who needs people like that. Another pair had heard the story and said they want to ""remain neutral"", which makes me think they didn't hear the whole truth, but I can't be bothered to push it as they're still cool with me and don't really care about the Polly drama.I'm feeling great now, things are going well with my family and I am really enjoying my last few months of semester abroad, I've made some good friends and am having the best time. I wish all the drama had never happened, but I'm grateful to have seen the true colours of someone I would have continued to trust otherwise. Thanks for all the support on here.",UPDATE: AITA for cancelling a trip and refusing to pay my friend back for flights?,NTA
10uugoi,"My grandpa was a notoriously ungenerous man and the extent of his Christmas gifts most year were bargain bin age inappropriate toys for the kids and hallmark store tchotchkes for the adults, and a lottery scratcher for each person. What added insult was his stern insistence that if your scratcher won he wanted half the winnings. This was a common joke at his expense told behind his back. The Christmas after I turned 19 I got my first Christmas  scratcher. I didn't get one the year before because he forgot I was 18. It won 100 dollars. He asked me if it won and I lied to his face. I said it was a dud. Broke college student disinclined to share the winnings I told him no. I took my girlfriend out for a nice dinner with it. When the family found out I got the mother of all guilt trips. I was told to pay him back the 50 bucks I ""owed"". I refused, and thankfully they didn't pressure me further but the whole family said I was an asshole for lying to my grandfather intentionally. I say his gift was given in bad faith if he was gonna insist on taking half the winnings. This was many years ago and my grandpa has since passed. But my perfiddy is still brought up from time to time. I didn't get any scratchers again. AITA?EDIT: clarification. They found out because my girlfriend accidentally let it slip that I took her on a date with lotto winnings, not knowing that I had lied about it.",AITA for telling my grandpa that I didn't win anything on a lotto scratcher when in fact I won 100 dollars so he wouldn't take half?,NTA
10uj3o1,"My husband and I own a small hobby farm. It is just over an acre. We have a 4 stall barn, large chicken coop, and a shelter for my 3 sheep. I have 3 horses and I rent out 1 stall to my friends friend. This boarder brought me a very sick horse that I nursed back to health. I forced her to take care of some much needed veterinary things on the horse which saved its life. I am of the mind set that it is our responsibility to fix things before they become a problem. She is essentially a single mother with 4 kids and waits until things are really broken before she reacts. In other words, she has way different views of the world than I do. I am always expecting things to end up sideways in a bad way so fix things that look even a little fishy as a horse vet bill is never lower than $500. She waits until it must be taken care of before she reacts. She asked me if she could give kids lessons on my property to pay for things. I said sure as long as she had insurance to cover both my home and her. She also, could not let her students be alone on my property, and she had to keep everything picked up.Well, her under age students are being dropped off 60-45 minutes before she even shows up to play on my property. Things like brushes, tools, and saddles are left out all over. I reminded her about these things and she said she would fix it. My husband then asked if she really had insurance. I then asked her for proof of her insurance. She did not have any.I am pissed because she is leaving us vulnerable to a law suit and the possibility of loosing our home. I called my insurance company to make sure we were covered in the mean time, then asked the horse community what insurance she and I would need to make sure we don’t lose our home if one of her students gets hurt. In the meantime, I asked her to stop lessons, or get insurance, or leave by March 1st. AITA for doing this?",AITA to make a single mother shut down her business on my property?,NTA
10uiqc7,"My husband’s stepsister makes clothes as a hobby and for their parents’ wedding anniversary she wants to make all of the women in the family matching dresses to wear at the party this year. She came over yesterday to take mine and my sister-in-law’s measurements. When she was taking mine, my husband walked in to ask me a question but then he decide to stand there and watch. For the most part he was silent but I could see his stepsister felt uncomfortable as she kept messing up which she wasn’t doing before he walked in. At one point he made a comment about my ass and she went really red and looked embarrassed so I told him to go into a different room.He didn’t want to go at first and argued that he wasn’t doing anything but I kept insisting until he finally left. My sister-in-law sided with him and said he wasn’t doing anything so I should’ve let him stay. I pointed out how he was making their stepsister uncomfortable but she only said that my husband has seen me in my underwear a million times so it wasn’t something their stepsister should get embarrassed over.His stepsister was grateful that I asked him to leave but my husband is still upset over being kicked out so AITA?",AITA for kicking my husband out of the room for making his stepsister feel embarrassed while she was taking my measurements?,NTA
10uco3c,"UPDATE: \[took away parts to make room\] i've told my coworker (the one he asked about my plans) if she would support me in bringing this to hr but turns out she's already kinda tipped them off on his behavior (by this i mean she's mentioned it vaguely to a friend from hr bc she didn't want to get ahead of me and hr said the complaint had to come from me for them to be able to do something about it) and would be supporting me in filing a complaint. thank you for all your concern and pulling me out of downplaying the situation!A coworker started to develop some sort of feelings a month into knowing me. Let's call him Gray. It may not be something too deep so I was flattered. i let him know i wasn't interested since i just got out of a long relationship.A month after this rejection Gray asked me to be his girlfriend. Again, i rejected. He said it's cool, but he'd appreciate it if i didn't cut him off. I didn't, as he was a nice friend to have. I had to reiterate to him more than once after this that there is no chance i'm reciprocating the feelings at all.One day one of my closer coworkers let me know that Gray would ask her what my plans for the day were, and if i had any he'd ask where i'd be going and who i'd be with. He'd also ask her if i was hanging around any other male coworkers.One time when we were out for a lunch with the team, our boss gave us the rest of the day off. that meant we'd be free to go home or hang out after lunch. I told everyone i'd be off home as i was too tired. He offered to bring me home and i declined. He snapped and started almost begging to bring me home but i just kept declining. He then said fine let me book you a taxi home and proceeded to type my address correctly when i know for a fact i never gave him my address. I was majorly uncomfortable at this point.He's done weirder things over the past year - stalking my family on social media, memorizing usernames of my close friends on ig, he even found an old twt acc i wasn't using anymore, ship products he bought online directly to my address, even got on a taxi and followed mine home. When i confronted him about it he said he just wanted to make sure i was safe.Last week while preparing to go home it started to rain so he insisted to bring me home on his motorcycle. he followed me around the office just going ""please let me bring you home"". we were around other coworkers but i snapped at him and told him to f off and leave me alone in a rather high voice. a coworker (who was aware of the stories i told above) overheard and told me i didn't have to react that way. i talked to a (non coworker) friend about it and he told me this might be gray's way of ""winning me over"". now i'm worried that i'm just viewing him as annoying and stalker-ish bc i didn't reciprocate the feelings and went off on him when he was being kind. AITA?",AITA for snapping at a coworker who likes me?,NTA
10v3fh8,"My oldest son, Ethan is getting married to his fiancee, Leah soon. The both have kids from their previous marriages, my son has Mia(15) and Leah has Jake(16). I also have another son, Henry who has Samuel(17) Ethan and Leah decided to bring Jake this christmas to introduce him to our family. He warned us that Jake's dad was abusive and he has had a very hard life, he might say rude things. Ethan asked us to please just ignore his attitude and we agreed. It was worse than he said. Jake was rude the entire time, saying things to make everyone upset. We didn't say anything  but Henry and Sam looked really pissed. I don't know what exactly happened but Jake said something to Sam which made Henry extremely mad. He stood up and said he won't stay here and let his son be bullied and said either Jake has to go or they will. Mia said if we ask Jake to go she will go with him. I told Henry that I'm sorry but I'm not kicking Jake and Mia out so if he really can't stay then he needs to be the one to leave. He called me an asshole and took Sam and left We haven't talked since then and he is expecting an apology",AITA for telling my son and grandson they should leave?,YTA
10usuqe,"A little background: I am the proud (future) step dad of a 6 and 5 year old. I am engaged and getting married in a couple of months. I have known the kids and dated my fiancé since our 5 year old was 1. Over two years ago the kids moved in with me and live with me and my fiancee full time. their dad only sees them about once every month. The kids go to school in our boundary school, and my fiancée has primary placement. Between me and my fiancee we have taken on all of the responsibilities to raising our kids and their dad contributes nothing. Their dad has an open invitation to come pickup the kids every Sunday. However, we hardly hear from him and he does not see them as often as we would like.The part where I am wondering if AITA: on the days he wants to see the kids, he comes to pick them up. Every time, he knocks on our front door, and then comes inside even though the kids are fully ready to go shoes on and everything. He usually spends 5-10 minutes talking in the foyer and then they go on their way. When he returns with the kids, it is essentially the same thing, except he stands in the foyer and gives a long drawn out, emotional goodbye. He doesn’t try to move things along and it’s awkward to me that I have to be the one to encourage the kids to “say goodbye” and move on with our day and allow him to leave. Occasionally the kids want to bring him upstairs and show them a new toy or something in their bedroom. I am uncomfortable with this. I don’t like the idea of my fiancées ex coming into my house and in personal areas such as our upstairs. I vocalized to my fiancée this and she agrees, but she doesn’t want to make things in unnecessarily difficult for the kids so has taken no action on it. I understand. But…The other day, after he dropped of the kids, after another long drawn out goodbye, I told the kids to head upstairs and get their pajamas on. I walked outside with their dad and suggested that instead of him coming inside every time that he say all of his goodbyes from the car. I said this with good intentions and implying that he deserves a good, and private goodbye with his kids without me or my fiancé lingering around. I suggested once he is done with his good bye, the kids can walk up to the steps and wave when they get inside. To me this makes things easier on everyone and I don’t have to have my personal boundaries violated. His only response was that he doesn’t get to see them much and that he didn’t realize it was a problem bringing them up to the door. (Reminder he has the opportunity to see them every week but he never does). AITA for telling him to stop coming in my house?",AITA for telling my steps kids dad to stop coming into my house?,NTA
10uu2i8,"My grandmother recently passed away. I received her china as per her will. It's pretty rare and fairly valuable from what I understand. But that's not why I want it. I want it, because it was my grandmother's, I love to entertain, and I am thrilled at the prospect of using her china.I know my grandmother left me the whole large set because she thought I was the only granddaughter.I say thought, because my cousin Robyn came out as trans last year. Grandma had dementia at this point and never knew about Robyn, though I highly doubt that would have changed the china situation.Robyn is now demanding that I giver her ""share"" of the china so that she can sell it to finance surgery. I'm refusing. Robyn says I ATA, but I don't think so. a) the china was willed to me. At this point it is legally mine. B) it might be different if she wanted to keep it and us it, but she is just going to sell it. I don't want my grandmother's china just sold off.​So Reddit, AITA?",AITA For Not Sharing My Grandmother's China?,NTA
10urxf5,"I (32F) am getting married in September. We have started to get stationary orders together and we’ve run into an issue that has our families split. My fiancé (34M) and I are not very traditional, and our wedding is going to have some unorthodox aspects. In addition to an open bar we’re also doing a cannabis bar, and the desserts are coming from a vegan bakery (we’re not vegan, we just like this bakery). My parents are quite conservative and his are less so but still lean towards that end.The issue is that I want to include a note with the invitations asking people not to wear pastel colors to the wedding. My bridal party is wearing pastels (they were able to choose their own dresses/outfits) and my wedding dress is blush pink. The tradition is that you don’t wear white to a wedding, but I don’t really want someone to show up and accidentally match my or my attendants’ clothes because they were avoiding white. My fiancé doesn’t know that my dress is pink but he was fine when I explained about the bridal party. Both of our sibling groups also thought it was a good idea.His parents were not enthusiastic about it and my parents were downright offended. His mom basically told us we can do whatever we want but we’re going to look incredibly rude for dictation what people wear to our wedding as guests. My mother screamed at me and called me an entitled brat. She said with the type of wedding we’re having we have no right to ask anything of our guests, and we “should just be thankful people are coming because no one wants to smell dope at a wedding reception.” When I told her my dress wasn’t white she yelled at me about that too and then kicked me out of her house.I’ve been rethinking the entire wedding. My fiancé and I are cannabis enthusiasts and he runs a dispensary, but I can see how maybe some people won’t enjoy that aspect so maybe my mom is right and we shouldn’t have it. It would make me sad but I think I understand. I also am second guessing my choice of dress. My mom wasn’t there when I chose it and she would have had a problem with it (kind of why I didn’t invite her to come in the first place) but maybe she’s right. It’s not a black tie affair so maybe I shouldn’t ask people to wear specific things.WIBTA?Edit: For those asking, yes the wedding is explicitly child free. No one under the age of 21 will be allowed into the event and we have already contracted a security guard to enforce this. Also, we are well aware that many people will not want to attend and we are fine with that. Most of my family lives on the other side of the country and we are planning a bbq next summer to celebrate with them. We expect about 40 people (our friends and some of his family) to attend and they are all cannabis-friendly.The wedding is being held on our property and all of the cannabis will be kept and consumed outside. There will not be edibles available, and all of this will be be explained on the invitations.Also this is the text that we wanted to put on the invitations about the dress code:“As you know, we have always enjoyed things that are outside of tradition. As such, you may see the bridal party incorporate some non-traditional colors for the ceremony, and we’re asking guests to please avoid wearing light pastel colors.”",WIBTA for including a note about dress code with wedding invitations,YTA
10uwunk,"I (26F) have a 18 month old with my ex-partner (33M). We were together for two years when I found out I was pregnant. It was unplanned and I was hesitant because I didn't think we were ready to be parents. I wanted kids but I work in a field I had to train in for years, my job is super stressful and tiring, and at the time I got pregnant I'd just moved up but still wasn't making a huge amount of money and needed to carry on putting in a lot of work to progress further. He was the opposite and really excited and wanted us to start a family and we basically talked it through and (naively) I changed my mind based on his reaction.His job is kind of intense and at times dangerous and takes him out of the country for a few months at a time regularly. When I was 16 weeks pregnant he went away for work and was gone for three months. We'd text and call whenever he was able to but a few weeks into him being away he stopped answering my texts and would keep calls super short. I thought something bad happened in his work situation and chalked it up to that. When he got back he was completely off and we started bickering a lot about small things. At this point I was 7 months pregnant, experiencing pregnancy complications, and becoming really dependant on him. Just over a month before my due date he told me he couldn't do this anymore and left, went no-contact with me. I had the baby by myself, my mum and sister helped me out a lot and still do but I've been my son's primary caregiver this entire time.A few months ago he got in contact with me to talk and explain himself. I wasn't trying to be difficult or petty, but I said no because I just wasn't in the right mind space to see him because I think I honestly kind of processed everything by reacting like he'd died and hadn't been thinking of him as a person who was still existing somewhere. After that he showed up at my mum's house, my mum is extremely nice so she heard him out. She said he just wanted to meet the baby and talk things out with me. I felt guilty being the reason they couldn't meet so I said ok and he's been spending time with him semi-regularly since. Last week he told me he's going away for work for a few months again and wants to have the baby stay with him over the weekend before he goes. I said no because I don't know anything about my ex's home environment, I've never been away from my son overnight since he was born, and my ex has never had to look after him by himself before so I don't know what it would be like for him.I told him this but he said I'm just using my son to punish him by keeping them apart and that he isn't a pawn for me to use in my revenge game. I know it's wrong to let bad feelings between parents seep into kid's lives, and as much as I have my valid reasons for not letting him stay over I'm worried that I'm being too untrusting and deep down I'm letting our issues make decisions regarding my son's relationship with his dad. Am I the asshole?",AITA for not letting my son stay over at his dad's house for the weekend?,NTA
10v41jx,"I'm an Indian woman hired to work in IT for a Californian firm on a H1B visa. I do sudo'ing, SSH etc. with Mac and Linux, sometimes even VM installations of Mac and Linux stuff.36, been in the US 8 years.Anyway, my boss has told me that I have a new role, I'm to look after her second home in New Haven, Connecticut and can work from home. I'm expected to buy crisps or as you call them, potato chips, sweets (candies) and soft drinks/alcohol every day of the week and ensure the house is kept looked after.She wants me to be a tenant about 11 months of the year - she only uses it for 3 weeks in March and for Christmas/New Year.This was not in my job role when I joined in 2015.As it is, she's also insistent me, and only me, do this.She also told me to join a pole-dance club in New Haven and send her a video of me enjoying myself doing it.I told my boss there and then that this wasn't right and I can't do what my visa wouldn't allow me to, but she said I'm the only woman right for that job.AITA for standing up to her here?","AITA for telling my boss ""No, I won't be a tenant in a property in a different city in a different state""?",NTA
10ubvgp,"This happened on Thursday but my girlfriend still insists I acted like an asshole so I came here to get some outside perspective. We've been together for just over a year. We moved in together around 3 months ago, or rather she moved in with me. We were both single parents, I have a 14 year old daughter and she has a 16 year old daughter. Our kids never really got along, they're not hostile towards each other but they have completely different characters and don't really have anything in common. My daughter likes my girlfriend but my girlfriends daughter doesn't really like me. So I wasn't working on Thursday and decided to pick up the girls from school because I was bored (they usually get an uber). After lunch her daughter went up to her room as always while mine stayed in the living room watching Disney+. After about an hour or so she asked me if we could go shopping because she wanted to get some new shoes and other clothes. So I agreed and I told her daughter that we were leaving. The shopping took us longer than I expected and we came back after about 4 hours and by that time my girlfriend was already home from work. And when she saw all the shopping bags she got mad that I didn't take her daughter shopping too. We argued about this for a while and I told her that I don't mind spoiling my daughter but I'm not going to spend my money on her kid when she never spends money on mine. She then started pointing out how I make more than her etc etc and it became a whole thing. Was AITA here??",AITA for not taking my girlfriends kid shopping?,NTA
10v15sq,"It has been my (F 32) mom’s (F 72) lifelong dream to visit Paris. After going back and forth for a while, we finally set our dates to go in the fall of this year. After we chose our dates, my mom informed me that she had invited two other members of our family along with her best friend and her adult daughter (Kelly and Stacy) to come on the trip with us. Initially, I was fine with this plan, although I was admittedly a little hurt because I wanted this to be a special time for us but I didn’t say anything. My family’s had a tough time this last year, so if inviting more people makes my mom happy, then fine. I went ahead and planned my travel and chose corresponding flights (connecting with mine) for my mom and anyone else leaving from her state. I’m a very relaxed traveler, I’m not big on tourist sites or itineraries, and typically like to make travel plans and then go with the flow once I get to the destination. Last night, we had a call to discuss the trip and I felt like Stacy was being a bit overbearing in the conversation, suggesting that others fly out of an airport closer to her state (makes no sense as most are on the US East Coast and she is more inland) and that we look into working with a travel agent overall. I’m a frequent traveler and more than capable of planning a weekend in a city I’ve visited before, but after this phone call, I just kind of see things a spiraling out of control. What was supposed to be a relaxing long weekend with my mom is quickly turning into an unwieldy group-trip tourism monstrosity with an itinerary that just doesn’t feel very fun for me. At this point, I’m the only one who has booked a plane ticket, and I am planning to sit my mom down and tell her I’ve changed my mind and no longer want to go on the trip with all these people. I’m hoping that since it’s so far away, people will be willing to pivot, perhaps to a trip closer to home at another time. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or my mom’s relationship with Kelly, but I just am not willing to spend this amount of time and money planning a trip where I know there is high potential for me to not have a good time. Plus, I’d admittedly just like to have the experience with just my mom and I. So Reddit, WIBTA?  TLDR; my mom invited a bunch of people on our dream vacation - I no longer want to go.",WIBTA For Canceling a Mother-Daughter Vacation That Has Become a Group Trip?,NTA
10v1l3c,"I (25f) live with an apartment complex. Our neighbors keep their dog outside on their balcony at night every night. We live in Colorado and, during winter, nighttime temperatures get below freezing. The dog is a short haired, medium sized dog who doesn’t have the coat for cold weather. Dog is also not wearing any clothes and has a dog bed for comfort outside. I’ve recently learned that if I yell “shhh” from my balcony, the dog will bark. I will do this until they wake up and bring their dog in. I assume they go right back to sleep and the dog doesn’t come out until morning. It usually only takes about 5 minutes of this for them to bring the dog in. I do this because I feel bad for the dog being outside all night until pass sunrise. We have left a note on their door explaining how unfair it is to the dog to keep them outside but nothing has changed. We also have a useless leasing office that has done nothing for the dog. My husband pointed out tonight that I might be an a**hole for doing this around 1am or whenever I come out during the night and that I’m probably waking others in the complex. AITA for making my neighbors dog bark and waking them, and potentially others, up?",AITA for waking up my neighbors?,NTA
10ujnk8,"A bit of context:I've been renting a place for the last 1.5 years. Its a 1 bedroom apartment with a hall.3 months ago my friend/senior from my company started living here. He said it was temporary but continued to live and I didn't say much because he was a senior at work and basically taught me my job (I was a fresher when i joined). 2 months ago I had to go to my hometown for more than a month and he didn't really find another place, so I asked him to pay half rent +  bills. He used to send me only half rent each month that too after me asking 4-5 times every time.So today I informed him that I wanted to empty the flat as I was moving out of the city. He likes this place so he talked with the owner and agreed to stay here. He asked me if he could buy some furniture from me so I said okay and we agreed on a price. But as always he's not paying me any money and I feel like I've been taken advantage of. He already owes me 5k (Previous months bills) + 6k for the furniture he supposedly bought from me. I came home today and emptied all my stuff which included the furniture and my own stuff and left. (I had warned him that if he doesn't pay by the time the packers and movers come I'll take all of it). He went directly to work without paying. AITA?Edit: This amount is in Indian Rupees. So Rs. 11000 = 140$",AITA for packing all my stuff and just leaving after repeatedly asking my roommate to pay money?,NTA
10ui2ji,"Hi all,So I live in a block of 9 flats, and have lived here for about 5 years. The flats themselves are around 7 years old.I'm lucky enough to own my flat, and the block itself is a mixture of renters and owners. The flats are however, all leasehold.Every flat has a similar layout. They have two beds, with a main bathroom, and one ensuite. The living room and kitchen are open plan. Each flat has two assigned parking spaces.Now in the current climate (UK based), the flats aren't selling too well despite being in a very desirable area of London. One of our neighbours who owns his flat, has therefore decided to rent it out so that he can move to a larger property. My issue is, he has decided he wants to maximise his profit and to do this he has converted the living room into a third bedroom.This doesn't sit well with me at all and I'm pretty sure he can't legally do it. Firstly, I think it's pretty shitty to convert the living room and leave the renters with one small kitchen as the only communal space. I really don't like the idea of him maximising his profit at others expense and creating overcrowding. Secondly, this is a block full of couples and families. I'm concerned that if more and more people start doing this it changes the demographic. Then there's just the issues of having multiple people In one flat. More cars which the block doesn't have space for, more noise from the occupants etc etc.He has managed to successfully get some renters as the rental market is booming but they haven't moved in yet. I'm very tempted to make some enquiries to the freeholder and the council about his set up, but if it is illegal (which I strongly suspect it is) then I'd not only lose this guy his renters, but he'd have to put everything back at expense. Alternatively, I could just let it go.So WIBTA if I reported him?Edit to add: I can accept the asshole judgement, thats what I came here for...but Jesus I don't need to be reported by a concerned redditor for suicide watch you weirdos.",WIBTA if I reported my neighbour for turning his 2 bed flat into a 3 bed?,YTA
10u91vb,"So to give some context, every morning I go to a small local park to exercise. There’s a set of bars and poles for people to use for exercise, but I’m the only person I’ve seen use them. When I’m exercising I’m moving a lot because I try to keep it high intensity. I’m listening to music also. Sometimes this dog walker group come to the park and they sit and drink coffee and chat on some benches near the exercise area (roughly 20m away.) Today as I was exercising I felt someone tap/hit my arm and noticed that an older gentleman was trying to get my attention. I pulled out my headphones immediately and asked what was wrong and he started shouting at me for ignoring him. I apologized and said I couldn’t hear him due to the music. I noticed that 4 of the 6 dogs in this group were going a bit bonkers, barking and trying to pull away from their owners, and the older gentleman started telling me how it was my fault and I was winding the dogs up and the same thing had happened last week. I said that it wasn’t my intention and that I was just trying to exercise. He told me to exercise elsewhere. I said that this was the closest place to do it to my home and I’m free to exercise when I want. I then asked what time and day the walkers come and I can try and get to the park before they come, but the older fella said “no, we don’t need to tell you that. We don’t want you in our park and if you keep causing trouble the police will be called.” I feel bad for causing the group hassle, but at the same time, there are other benches in the park where they can sit also.*EDIT 1*To give some more context. This is not the US. Im not a POC, but I’m a foreign resident living in Japan and I’m considered a minority because of that. I’m not a US citizen.*EDIT 2*With regards to the equipment, it’s clearly designed for pull ups, dips and other activities. There is a children’s play area in the other section of the park. This isn’t a private park.",AITA for inadvertently winding people’s dogs up?,NTA
10uag1t,"I(42M) have 6 siblings and this is about our youngest(32M).My other siblings are also older than me, the oldest being 49.We lost our dad to brain cancer when my brother was 13. This devastated him and left really deep scars. He was really unstable at middle+ high school and mom was also severely depressed and none of us were living in our hometown so we couldn't handle everything as we should but he managed to enter into one of the best universities in our country. After he got into the university, he started to be in the relationships with older guys. He was in the same city with me at this time, so I had the chance to have an eye on him. He wasn't in any bodily or academically harmed but all of this fucked him up really badly mentally and he was a mess until he met with Liam 11 years ago (53M).He was a widower(he lost his husband at 2010) and my brother fell in love with him instantly. He took him under his wings, protected him and nurtured him. I was also suspicious of their relationship first but as the time passed, I saw the realness ,the authenticity, the loyality, the love. My brother was happy but the other family members never approved this relationship, accused Liam of being a predator so he got C&D orders for harassment and I was the only one with my family(my 4 year old was a flower girl) in their wedding in 2018 other than our mother, who had dementia at that time and we lost her the next year. I also cut my siblings out of our lives after our moms funeral.At the beginning of 2021,we learned my brother had cancer, the same one with our father. He was early diagnosed and had the surgery but it returned 18 months later and spread fast. Chemo didn't work and at Christmas Eve, he gave his final breath while we were there.My brother asked his funeral to be organized as we seem fit and said ""please don't do anything will make you uncomfortable for anyone."" We didn't invite our siblings. Liam's family and my ILs were there but no one from my family was invited,they learned my brother's death after his death was announced at our home towns facebook page. My siblings were mad and they tried to reach Liam via his lawyer but they couldn't so they reached out to me.I told them they deserved this after all they did and they should be glad we are not charging them with harassment with the heat of the moment but after time passed,I feel really guilty about saying this. AITA?","AITA for saying my family ""you deserved it"" when they weren't invited to my brother's funeral?",NTA
10uqfvz,"My wife and I both like our space and privacy.  Me more than her.  To that end, we both have our own full bathrooms.One of my biggest pet peeves about living with my wife is that she legitimately does not *see* the messes she makes. I can overlook this in most areas except water.  If she turns on a faucet anywhere, going behind her is like following a dog that violently shook itself off.  Every time she takes a shower, she leaves 10-15 feet worth of soggy footprints and drips everywhere she's been.  I have slipped in her wake more than once.This is why I *can't* share a bathroom with her.The issue is that she will use whatever bathroom is closest, which is often mine.  I *never* use hers, but I usually just shrug it off because I'm not the potty police.  However, every time she washes her hands, she leaves a mess.I have told her multiple times to please not splash water everywhere.  She will apologize, then continue to do it.  I know she's not doing it intentionally.  I know she doesn't *see* it.  But it has to stop.Today, I went into the bathroom behind her and stepped in a puddle.  There was another puddle on the countertop that was dripping onto the rug.  The mirror was splashed with water literally up to my eye level.  My toothbrush was wet.  The tissue box was wet.  There was a mass of soap foam in the sink.  All because she had washed her face.I called her into the bathroom and told her that if she can't not do this, she can't use my bathroom.She got upset and said she wouldn't use it anymore.1.  I don't believe her.  I think she'll just forget and keep using it.2.  I seriously wouldn't mind if she didn't leave a water hazard behind her, but she's made it clear that she cannot abide by that.3. If I asked her to clean it up, she would, but she would not do it to my standards, because *she cannot see the mess*. I feel bad for upsetting her and I know that she's sensitive to criticism and judgment, but I don't feel like this is an unreasonable ask.Am I the asshole?",AITA For Banning My Wife From My Bathroom?,NTA
10un8lv,"I (28F) do lots of marketing freelancing, as well as other side gigs, this allows me to have a nice disposable income. My dad has 3 siblings and they like to gather our families together every Sunday for dinner and chat. The dinner is hosted by my aunt Sarah, mom to my cousin Emily (26F), but I usually bring whatever dinner we have (usually pizza) from family favorite restaurants so Aunt doesn't have to cook.Now, I know Emily dislikes me, it's okay, you don't have to like everyone, but last week, I was busy with a project I had a tight deadline for, I had been sleepless for almost three days and I was planning on not going, but everyone just said I could take my laptop and work there, I love Sunday family nights so I agreed.Emily hated it, especially because everyone including Aunt Sarah kept offering me sodas and snacks while I was working because my mum told them I hadn't eat yet. She started making acid comments towards my work, and how I am just a rip-off and a scammer, because I work multiple fields, it angered me but whatever, I was too busy to bicker aroundWhen time to leave rolled up, she took me aside and started berating me, saying I should stop scamming people, and lying to my family about what I do, saying my work is just a ruse and implying I sell drugs or have an OF (I love the idea), she ended up calling me a mercenary and laughing at me. I felt so bad and after leaving I told my parents, minus the mercenary bit, which I only shared with my BF, my parents were angry because I bought dinner and Emily ate and everything but still insulted me, so they called Aunt Sarah and said we were not attending this week.The rest of the family started begging us to attend, Aunt Sarah said I didn't even have to bring food, she would cook something, and apologized a lot, but Emily didn't, so my parents decided we should go and just ignore Emily if she started at it again.However, my BF loved the ""mercenary"" idea, and went out of his way to design a crop top for me, featuring my favorite comic character, which happens to be a 1920's hitman cat, he also added the words ""Too busy being a mercenary, you can f*ck off"" to the design and printed it for me, I loved it, and my parents, who also love that comic, and not knowing about the mercenary thing, loved it too, so they suggested I wore it for today's gathering as it looks really, really cool, I did, because I see nothing wrong with it?, however when we arrived and Emily saw my crop top, she started crying??, and started saying I was so bitter and spiteful, and that she was ready to apologize to me but my crop top was offensiveI had to explain everyone the whole ordeal and it was embarrasing, my parents scolded me for not telling them what the design was created for, but sided with me, however a few cousins say I'm an AH because Emily wanted to apologize and my rude t-shirt offended her, one of them suggested I post here, AITA?","AITA for wearing an ""offensive"" crop top to our family gathering?",NTA
10ukdih,"Backstory: we're mid 30's, been friends since we were 11, I had my baby 2 years ago and now she's due this year. When I was pregnant I almost bled to death twice from a hemorrhage, emergency cesarean, and only had my husband and mother to help in between them going to work. I offered to pay for her flight and expenses if she flew out to help me for a week so I could heal but was met with ""it wouldn't be fair to my husband to leave him with the dogs to take care of"" even though he was only going to school, not working and she wasn't working.I persevered and handled it on my own. Fast forward to this year, with constant comments about his speech being ""delayed"", she's called him chubby, told me to watch what he eats, and also asked me ""why does he sound like an autistic kid?"" when he was whining during a phone call. For the record, he isn't autistic and does not technically have a speech delay.Side note: she has another friend that has helped her during times we weren't speaking, fully due to her own behavior and past abusive outbursts towards me, and she has informed me she'll be naming the baby after her. Personally I don't care, but why tell me? to hurt my feelings?Now we're at the invitations for her baby shower; something else she didn't even think to do with me, I didn't have one, and she asked me to fly out for that. Followed it with ""you don't have to make it for that, but you have to come when the baby is here"" like Why? Why would I do that? wouldn't it be ""unfair"" to my own child? and my husband who actually works full-time plus overtime and on-call?Today was the topper. I offered to mail her very expensive baby items, and was insulted with ""well, I don't know because you have cats and I don't think I could handle the hair""Okay.So now I'm just wondering why I'm even involved to begin with, and if I should return the new clothes I bought for the baby. Am I the assole for wanting to give up?",AITA for not wanting to help best friend with baby,NTA
10up25i,"I(29m) recently got engaged to my fiancee(23f).I live in another state and plan to move to her state soon. I proposed while visiting her in her home state. Her mom has passed and he dad is remarried with a 2 yo son. My fiancee and her dads wife have had a rocky relationship over the years. When they had the 2 year old my fiance was not told until his wife was 5 months pregnant, and was told she could not be there for the birth(this was a home birth, not a hospital so it was an option) and was nit allowed to visit until the baby was almost a month old. Her dad has also stopped helping her financially at all and told her if we moved in together and couldn't afford it he ""wouldn't have the money to help"". When we mentioned getting married he also let us know he wouldn't be able to afford to put much twords the wedding and said we needed to wait and save up. She knows this is BS because they spend a ton of money constantly. She knows this is all coming from his wife, and she is basically trying to cut her out. So when we planned the party to announce our engagement, I only invited her dad, and did not let him know what was happening. Her dad will often meet her for dinner without his wife, so he showed up on his own. After we had announced the engagement her dad didn't say much and at the end of the night he took me aside and asked why his wife had not been invited. I told him that she had not included my fiancee in their big life moments, so she didn't deserve to be involved in ours. Her dad said I was a coward and immature, and said he was very disappointed in us, and he doesn't support his daughter marrying ""a man who is 30 and acts like a spoiled child"" and told me not to expect him to pay for anything. He told my fiancee he was disappointed in her as well before leaving and she cried all night and he dad won't respond to her calls or texts. So am I?",AITA for not inviting my fiancee's step mom to our engagement party?,YTA
10v3w62,"My wife entered a competition to meet Sabrina Carpenter in Los Angeles, with the meet-and-greet happening on 14 July 2023 at a particular restaurant in Los Angeles, a one-on-one meal with her and Sabrina (and parent or guardian as the terms and competitions said).However, the T&C's of the competition said ""Only open for 13 to 16 year olds"".She told me she'd entered, and put her birthdate down as 03/05/2007 instead of 03/05/1981 her real birthdate in order to win.I'm worried if she wins, she'll be exposed as a fraud.She's part of the Sabrina Carpenter fandom, I got no problem with being part of a fandom, I post on here to /r/marvelstudios under another account.I told my wife there and then that we need to talk about how to enter competitions responsibly and that if she did win the Sabrina competition, there'd be consequences for her, not from me.AITA for being concerned about the whole nine yards of this?",AITA for telling my wife she committed competition fraud?,NTA
10uugdm,"My husband (30m) and I 29f) have always been super active. We especially love rock climbing and have always climbed together. A couple of years ago my husband went from an active job to a desk job and has put on a lot of weight. This has resulted in him being self conscious and no longer wanting to do outdoors activities with me. I’ve tried to get him too but he gets angry at me, so I basically stopped trying. I would occasionally do things by myself but significantly less amounts than we use to. I have recently started a new job and quickly made friends with some of my colleagues (2 guys and a girl aged between 28-35). Coincidentally they are really into outdoor activities including rock climbing. We had been talking about going on a rock climbing trip. I mentioned it to my husband a couple of weeks ago and told him he was more than welcome to come. He said he didn’t want to and got grumpy reminding me he didn’t want to rock climb anymore. I didn’t mention it again until today when I reminded him that the trip was next week and I was planning on going. He immediately went off at me saying he couldn’t believe I was actually going and it was incredibly selfish of me to go with other people, especially two guys (he has met them before and they got on fine) to do his favourite activity without him. I don’t see why I shouldn’t get to do my favourite things just because he doesn’t want to and thought it was safer going with a group. He’s still not talking to me though so I’m starting to think maybe I am the asshole for going.Edit: since I’ve already been asked a couple of times. We are going for two nights. We’re going to camp, with a girls tent and a boys tent. If my husband had come we would have shared a tent and taken a solo one for the other girl.",AITA for doing my husband’s favourite activity without him.,NTA
10ux1bx,"My boyfriend (M34) has a 6yo daughter. I (F33) have a 5yo son. We live together and have my son 50% of the time and his daughter every other weekend as she lives out of town. We both forgot it was a public holiday this Monday which meant we would have his daughter Sunday night when usually we would not.My 3 friends and I made plans for Sunday night that were important to me and them, 3 weeks prior. I would not have my son, and his daughter would be back at her house with her mum, so I would be free to make plans (so I thought). It was only a dinner, but its very difficult for the 4 of us to get together alone, hence why it was planned so far in advance.Sunday morning, my bf wakes up ill: a stomach bug. He stayed in bed all day while I looked after both kids. I made sure he was left alone so he could sleep. Mid afternoon I asked if he would be well enough to look after his daughter that night, as I was taking my son back to his Dads, and i wouldn't be home. He initially says yes, but then later on he makes it pretty clear he is very unwell and its likely gastro.I suggested he organise for his daughter to go home then, as a) its friggin contagious and b) if its gastro he'd still be out for the count Monday and I'd be on duty to take care of her while I work (I WFH and don't get the day off), and likely have to drive her to her mum on Monday. I even offered to drive her back the whole way on Sunday afternoon instead of her mum needing to come meet us halfway as she usually does.He is angry that I would suggest that, as his time with her is extremely limited as it is since the mother moved out of town with his daughter. He said he might be feeling okay Monday and then still get to spend the day with her and didn't want to risk losing that day with her, which I do understand. But there was an expectation from him that I cancel my plans and stay to look after her because he is sick and needed my help.I offered him an alternative - if he's too sick to take care of her, I will take her home so you don't have to, and so I can keep my plans. We had an argument, I said (quite angrily) that his daughter isn't my responsibility, and so I left and went to my dinner. He was angry, I was angry. We absolutely do not see eye to eye on this. If I were in dire straights and he had plans, I'd organise for my sons father to have him as i wouldnt EXPECT my partner to take responsibility here, but it is different as I see my son whenever I want and have him far more often. Losing a day here and there isn't a big deal for me like it is for my bf, and he expected me - as his partner - to cancel my plans and take care of his daughter so he could have more time with her.AITA for feeling like I shouldn't be expected to sacrifice my plans I made 3 weeks earlier that were important to me, and stay home and look after his daughter/help him instead?",AITA because I didn't babysit my boyfriend's daughter?,NTA
10usgbf,"My wife (26F) will neurotically ask me (29M) questions for reassurance. For example, when we leave the house for several hours, she will ask me whether our dog will be alright (while we’re gone). When I provide an honest answer (“I don’t know”), she becomes extremely hostile and upset toward me. Therefore, my lone option is to say, “yes,” or else an argument will ensue. Obviously, I suspect our dog will be fine, but cannot guarantee it (e.g., house fire, burglars, etc). It is an average dog being left alone in an average home located in an average neighborhood.The question irritates me because I have no additional insight into whether our dog will be alright. My wife knows that. I am not veterinarian, nor can I see into the future. So, why continue to ask me the same asinine question?Accordingly, AITA for responding with, “I don’t know.”",AITA for not entertaining my wife’s frivolous questions?,YTA
10ud2g9,"Hubby and I were watching Law and Order. My son came into the living room and my husband asked if I minded if they watched a Breaking Bad. I’m not interested in that show, the one we were watching was a rerun, so I said that I didn’t mind. It was close to 8:30 so I went upstairs to put the space heater on, bring my phone and Nintendo switch upstairs. Since it was chilly, I sat near the heater and turned on the switch and thought I’d play a little before going back downstairs. Well, next thing I know it’s 9:30 and my hubby comes upstairs and is annoyed that I didn’t sit in the room with them while they watched Breaking Bad. I do that sometimes, I just wasn’t up for it that night. I wanted to get warm. He is also annoyed because I “just went upstairs and didn’t say goodnight” I explained that I didn’t go upstairs to go to bed and that I had planned to come back down but I lost track of time. His response was “I don’t give a shit anymore” Am I the asshole for going upstairs without saying goodnight when I didn’t plan on going to bed, but just lost track of time ?EDIT: Earlier today, we had a chance to talk about what happened. He said he had a bad day and just wanted to hang out.l together. He thought I was mad going upstairs (I honestly wasn’t and didn’t think I had any type of body language to suggest it) but he perceived it that way. He also said that I “never just walk upstairs” and I reminded him again that it wasn’t my intent to stay up there. I asked why he said “I don’t give a shit anymore” and he said he was miserable and didn’t want to talk about it and it was a poor choice of words. Better communication on both parts would’ve prevented the problem as many suggested!",AITA for going upstairs without saying goodnight when I didn’t plan on going to bed?,NTA
10v4xcm,"I (26F) grew up in India and moved to England with my family  in the second year of high-school.  Back in India my family had maids and helpers (its genuinely not about being rich there most middle class families have hired help) and hence growing up I never learnt how to do most chores. When I got here my parents wanted me to focus on studies and were kind enough to never ask me to anything more than  a cup of tea here or doing the laundry there. I managed to not only graduate at the top of my class but also secure funding for my dream college and programme. I have now graduated with my undergrad in medicine and am  working on what field I want to specialise in. I got married last year something arranged by my parents with my consent . He is a few years older than me and earns decent money. He has consistently asked me to do more around the house when I am home . We do split the chores but more times than not he finds fault in what I did . The clothes still have creases, the pasta is overcooked, the vacuum bag hasn't been emptied etc.My salary as a resident isn't much but I have offered to hold tutoring sessions for the high-school kids I know who are aiming for a similar life course as mine (it's something I've done before and honestly studying is where I am most confident). This money would go solely to hire some help around the house so we don't have to focus as much on chores just on maintaince. My husband was baffled by the idea and called me entitled and spoiled for not wanting to help around the house and using 'I don't know how' as ab excuse to what he deems my responsibilities where as I don't understand how I'm lazy when I'm doing extra work on top of my actual Job to earn the privilege of not doing chores.Edit: For those who can't read, apparently, please note I am taking on a second part time Job essentially to PAY FOR IT MYSELF.",AITA for wanting to hire help instead of learning how to do chores ?,NTA
10umy8f,"Growing up all my life, my dad was on meth. My mom stopped and got clean when I was 5. Fast forward to now, me being 26, My dad passed away in February of 2022. I never really allowed my father to be around my children since he was on drugs. I didn't even have him at my wedding.So recently, I found out my mom is back on meth and I am holding her to the same expectations. But in her eyes, I'm being a hateful and disrespectful daughter. She also shows favoritism towards my middle daughter. And I won't let her around my kids till she is clean off of meth. Also, she is a completely different person when she isn't on it.But am I the asshole for holding her to the same expectations as my dad?",AITA For holding my mom to the same standards as my dad,NTA
10unmja,"Edit to fix grammar and spelling I (37m) now the title sounds weird, but my wife (46f) is saying l am the asshole in this situation.For some information, I had my son (17m) when I was young, and I have been raising him by myself since he was 3. My son has cerebral palsy and is confined to a wheelchair so we first moved into our current house. we agreed that it would be a good decision to give him the master bedroom. This is were the problem with my wife started my and my wife, who I'll call Amy for the sake of this post. Have been married for 2 yea, s but she only moved in a few months ago. Because of her work and this is the issue really began. So once we had moved all of her things into our room. She made a joke saying I never realise that your house doesn't have a master bedroom. And my 7 year old niece it was over at the time, corrected her, and said we did, but it was my son's room, and my wife sort of hummed I went back to unpacking her boxes. The later that day after my niece and brother has left she said that now she had moved in that my son and us had to switch room I told her no I will not be switching rooms with my son because it has been adapted to him and his disability (ieg I had bars installed in my son's bathroom increase he fell) among other things. But then she said I was an asshole because a married couple always has the master bedroom ( I've never heard of that).So, reddit AITA for not giving my wife the room she wants.",AITA for not giving my wife the master bedroom,NTA
10v4ioa,I met my wife on tinder about nine years ago.  I was in university and she was working.  We both met a few people on the app. When we decided that we were going to be exclusive we both deleted it together.  It was a way of commiting to each other.  I know it's weird.  She still doesn't like that I used it to hook up with girls before we were exclusive.  She isn't exactly innocent in this regard but she says it's different because she dated the other guys and didn't just hook up.  Whatever.  Four years ago her father passed away in a motorcycle accident.  It was very sad as he was still pretty young and healthy.  She has had a hard time dealing with it and is still grieving pretty hard.  I don't really get it but I do my best to be there for her.  The problem is that she gets triggered by anyone cheating on a tv show or movie.  And the same goes for a father dying.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a show or movie without that?  She lost her shit at the theater when I took her and the kid to see Encanto.  She cried for a week when Marshall's dad died on How I Met Your Mother. Spoiler alert for a show that's been over for nine years by the way.  So I've been making extra time for myself to watch movies and shows that have that in it.  I get up early and make breakfast for everyone.  Get the kid his lunch ready and then start work early.  I usually finish up my work an hour or so before the end of my day.  Then I stay in my office and and watch an hour of something I want to watch.  Then I come out and do my part of the housework and spend time with her and the kid.  On the weekends I spend time with them and depending on the weather we might end up playing games or watching tv in the house.  If it's nicer out we spend time outdoors.  Unfortunately she caught me.  We had friends over and they mentioned seeing a recent movie in the MCU.  After they left she asked me when I saw the movie we were talking about.  She knows we didn't see it in the theater and we have not watched it on Disney+. So I told her I watched it little by little in the office.  She insisted on going through my movie queues on all our streaming services.  Now she is pissed at me for hiding out and having private time away from her and the kid. I have always made sure she has plenty of time to herself. We budget for her to get girls nights. Spa days.  Massages. Lunches out with friends.  I do a lot less socializing than she does.  I like tv and movies and that's how I want to use what little time I can carve out for myself. She says I'm being selfish. And that I cannot understand why she feels the way she does about cheating.  And that I'm downplaying her grief about her dad. I just want to watch Mr. Robot in peace.,"AITA for ""hiding out"" in my WFH office so I can watch whatever I want.",NTA
10uq9jx,"Me (F17) and my sis went on vacation to our neighbouring country with our uncle and aunt. For context, they’re both in their late 40s, they have no children and live that bohemian life cause my aunt has really well-paid job. I think you should see both sides of the story, so keep in mind they paid for the whole vacation.It was second day of our vacation and we went to swimming pool. I’m ginger and ofc very pale, and can’t be on direct sun for long. But my aunt wanted to get a spot in direct sun, cause she wanted to sunbath, I agreed cause I didn’t want to sound ungrateful for paid vacation. I was feeling dizzy after a while but didn’t make a big deal out of it. My skin was burning as hell but I stayed quiet.Later that day we went for dinner. I wasn’t feeling good, cause I’ve spent whole afternoon in direct sun but again, my mouth was shuted. Just told them I’m feeling little bit dizzy. Neither them or me made a big deal out of it, cause it’s known fact I have very low blood pressure. So we assumed that would be it. But I started to feeling worse and worse during the dinner. I’ve started asking if we just can’t go back to the hotel, cause I’m really feeling unwell. They didn’t really care cause they said “I’m adult, I can do it”. I mean I was this close 👌🏻 to fainting. But they were like “Have at least one shot, it will raise your blood pressure.” When I actually started to go even more pale, that it really looked unhealthy, and weak in general they finally, after my begging, took me to the hotel. At hotel my head was spinning like never. I knew that, if I had the oppoturnity to lie down sooner my bp would stable itself and I would be okay instead of trying to go over it by pushing myself over my limits.The next day was terrible, I was so weak, felt like I will throw up everything if I ate. They didn’t want me to stay alone in the hotel room, so I had to go, with them to see monuments. I was so quiet about feeling unwell but when it became unbearable I told them and they said I made it up cause I looked fine to this moment. My sis and aunt had lunch and uncle took me back to hotel. When they got back, my sister told me secretly, that aunt was all the time talking about, how I ruined the lunch, and why can’t I overpower myself and so on. I felt so bad that the next day, having fever, quick breath and other symptoms of heatstroke but they still left me at the room because they were on vacation and (this is my aunts words) “they won’t let me ruin it”. In the evening I got so bad, that my other uncle picked me up and drove home.I think I should mention that this brought my anxiety back, along with hypochondria, and I had to go through that terrible process of starting the new antidepressants again, just because they made drinking their priority. It’s an old story. But every morning when I have to take the antidepressants, I think about it.",AITA who ruined the vacation?,NTA
10ufqnv,"As the title says I spend about an hour in the bathroom just so I don't have to go to church. My father is a pastor and since I was little it was what was taught and drilled into me.Now that I'm older I just don't want to go anymore, things have happened to kind of make me want to distance myself and figure things out for me. I've vocalize how I don't want to go to my dad many times but each time it turns into him yelling at me about how I need to read my Bible and how I need this and brings up ""mistakes"" I've made. Or he'll go off on a rant about how I'm selfish and ungrateful because I don't want to do this one thing but want him to do things for me even tho he ""legally"" doesn't have to. When he says that he usually lists things like feed my siblings and I, taking us to school, stuff like that. And I mean yea he doesn't have to do that he could of not had us or given us up but since he didn't, we'll then yes legally he has to feed us. I'm 20 so I've been trying to buy my own groceries and do my own thing but even then he goes off at me about how we're a family and I can't buy food for only myself. But anyway this morning I made sure to try and take forever in the bathroom so he'd just leave me so I didn't have to go to church, he yelled at me and went on one of his rants and eventually I was dragged to church all while he called me ungrateful and selfishA few edits: I know I'm a legal adult, I know I could just go to the bank and do this and that. The thing is I can't, when I leave the house I have to ask permission and let my parents know where I'm going.I tried to get my license as soon as I turned 16, my dad wouldn't allow it, still doesn't I've been learning and trying to drive but everytime I try to schedule the test he shuts it down and says I'm not ready. So to go to the bank I'd have to catch the bus, I have a bus pass that he again has access and puts exact money on so when I say I'm going here he puts the exact amount needed and if it comes up short or not right I'm busted.I haven't mentioned my mo, she's in the picture still married and live together but she's much worse. I'm terrified of my mom, I'd rather try to work things out with my dad than her.I also have 2 younger siblings that I basically parent, I can see they get treated better than I was/am but I just can't leave them.",AITA for spending an hour in the bathroom so I'd miss church,NTA
10v03fp,"Currently i [25M] live in another city away from my family because of my new jobIve been here for about a month nowAnd could only find a two room studio to live in.My coworker on the other hand lives approximately an hour and half away from the working place which apparently hes fine with as i asked him beforeA couple days ago he asked me if i know any hotels with cheap prices so he can stay in one night cause he had an online lucture to give later, and i told him about two or three hotels but i dont think he liked the prices.After that he asked me how many rooms do i have in my apartment and told him two but the other one is completely empty.Now i heard that he wants the boss to buy some simple furnitures like bed, wardrobe, etc. So he can stay in my place whenever he needs.I know the other room is empty but its because i couldnt find a one room studio, and tbh i wanted someone i know to live in the other room or leave it empty because i dont like strangers live with me, let alone stay a night and leave the other.I plan on telling him firmly but politely that he cant live with me and i dont want someone to live in the other room even if it remains empty.So aita if i told him that ?P.S. sorry for bad english",AITA for not hosting my coworker?,NTA
10uv0pc,"My S/O and i have been living together since 2016. Since then I have paid for all of the utilities, the mortgage, property tax, home owners insurance, groceries, etc. I've only ever asked her to pay for 2 things: her own debt, and our vet bills (we have 2 dogs).She doesn't make much money and has had no less than 10k in credit card debt since we've met. In the time that we've been together her credit card debt has actually increased by several thousand. But she has been fully employed ($15/h) the entire time we've known each other.I've been nagging her for years to get her spending in check so we can have a fighting chance at a reasonable life in which I'm not breaking my back for us to survive. Recently, her car shit the bed and she had precisely $0 in her bank account to get a new one. She also has a 500ish credit score (700 when we met). So i bought a beater for $4k so she had something that would roll to work and back while she saves for something of her own. Thus far the car has cost me around $6500 after fuel, insurance, and taxes.Even though she doesn't make much money, it literally cost her nothing to live. Her food, housing, utilities, insurance etc are covered. So this means she has the ability to save around 400-500 a month to fix her own situation. She has yet to do it and at this point I'm questioning whether or not this relationship is a lost cause. I feel like it's been 7 years that I've been paying her way and she has 400 dollars to her name. How can i rely on her in any situation where I'm out of work? If i end up in an accident or come down with a serious illness there is absolutely no plan b. Ill just be injured/sick AND lose my house. She also potentially wants kids but in my mind, if she can't save $10 how can i trust her with my child? Long story short, she costs me thousands in unnecessary expenses every year because she won't grow up and take care of her own financial problems.  This leads me to lecturing her and inevitably making her cry and her playing victim while dragging out every excuse in the book to justify why she CAN'T help her own situation.Now I've stated the bad, let's look at the good. She's fiercely loyal, generally sweet, genuinely a good person and she puts up with a lot of my own shortfalls.I'm strongly considering leaving her though because every year that she doesn't get her shit together costs me 10k+ of my retirement savings. We're up to at least 70k so far. Am I the dick head for telling her that I'm done with it? I do love her, but i feel like she is actively sabotaging the life that I've worked 70+ hours a week to build for us for nearly the last decade.",AITA for forcing my S/O to grow up,NTA
10v2gv2,"So my ex and I have a 5 year old, when our son was 6 months she seperated (the character limit doesnt let me elaborate).After a while she didnt allow me to see my child. So i went to a lawyer who recommended to go to court.In this process she started to make up lies about me to make me look bad infront of a judge, so I had to have court odered supervised visits with my child for 6 months for an evaluation of my relationship to my son.After 6 months a court date was in order, for a decision.3 days before the court date i got notified, that my ex disapeared with our son, location unknown.At that point i stopped sending money.For 3 months I had no idea where they are, to then find out that they are in a different country.After some emails, she told me i could fly there and visit our son.So i did.While I was in that country she told me that she was pregnant and that they want to stay there and if I tell the court back home that everything is resolved, i could fly there every two weeks. (She apparently got an abortion later)I agreed, told my lawyer and visited theree time until the paperwork with the court was settled.Once that was done, she blocked me and didnt allow another visit…I got news that her parents had to tell me that the situation was very bad, my ex and new partner were engaged in domestic issues.I startet pressure in that country with a lawyer and all.2 months after, things got so bad, that my ex came back to our home town.A couple weeks after, my ex got into a clinic because of depression. I brought our son to visit and tried to support.Our son mostly lived with me, because the court gave me sole custody.After a couple of months I offered her to have shared custody and she happily agreed so i did the paperwork.She doesnt work and cant find a job she likes, because she doesnt want to do a job that makes her unhappy.So i provided financial support basically for everything. Gave her money for an appartment, bought everything she needs in the appartment, paid rent for a couple of months. We even had some intimate moments, which was really confusing.Everything else got kind of normal, day care, divided the time where our son is with me or with her.A couple days ago she told me, that she had to look after our son for the most time alone in the past and that if I am such a great father its my turn now. That I am not a team partner, she cant trust me, and a list of things I apparently did wrong and that its my fault that she went to a clinic.At which point i was done if I am not appreciated. Said, that yes, I certainly made mistakes but so did she and that if we want to coparent succesfully this is not the way to handle things.She told me to pick up my son.She apparently went partying the last couple of days and we didnt hear from her.I paid this months rent already but starting next month she will be broke.So, would i be the asshole if I stop my support completely?",WIBTA if I stop my financial support to my ex?,NTA
10uib2d,"TL;DR I travel with my mother yearly and it’s out tradition. My uncle tagged along last time and it wasn’t good company. This year she invited him again without telling me and I’m thinking on not going. Probably will enjoy my vacation doing something else. AITA for that?To give a little bit of context, since I'm 18, me and my mom make a vacation trip, that happens every year and it's sort of our little tradition.I left her house when I was 22, but we stayed in touch and kept a very good relantionship. We still travel every year and it became even more special now, because we don't get to stay together as much as we used to, so we use this time to be together.2 years ago, two of my father's aunts asked where we were going on vacations that year and they would tag along, because out trips look like fun. We are caught by surprise, but my mother gives them the whole intinerary, they end up tagging with us the whole trip and being a nuisance, asking me to carry things around, they don't speak english and don't even try, so they order me around so I get stuff done for them. It was the worst experience, but eventually ended and we joked that would never have other people come along...Last year, my uncle (her brother) asked if he could travel with us on our next vacation, because it looked fun (yeah, you know where this is going).This time it was worse, we get individuals rooms, but this time, I had to share the room with my uncle so he could save some money. I live alone, so I'm not used to share a house with someone, even worse a room.Same communications issues and some personality ones, they end up fighting from time to time (siblings, you know right), by the end of the trip I told my mother that it's okay if she wants to travel with whoever she wants, but I'm not up to it and would pass next time.This year we are planning a cruise trip and some time in Europe. On thurday she told she had paid her part on the travel agency and I could send them the money to cover my part. When I talk to them, they ask if I'm Anon or Anon's Uncle.My mother had invite my uncle to travel with us again, after knowing that, I said that something came up and would call another day to finish the payment.Today I called my mother and told her that I'm not paying and won't travel this year, because I don't want to repeat the same experiencie from last year. She started crying, saying he invited himself again, and she couldn't say no, but this time would be different, because in the cruise each one can do whatever they want.Am I the asshole for not wanting to waste my vacation (the only time of the year I'm off work and can enjoy doing things that I like or just relax) traveling with someone I dislike and I feel even worse because she didn't even told me, I found out because the agency guy asked me who I were.","AITA for bailing on a trip with my mother, because she called my uncle to come along without telling me?",NTA
10uwuj5,"To preface, he is really into anime and I knew that, but didn't know that he would ever buy one of these things.We were talking about anime and somehow got on the subject of body pillows with anime characters on them. I was looking at pictures of them and they were all extremely sexualized. I expressed my surprise and disbelief that people buy these and sleep with them and said ""that just screams incel."" Then he admitted that a couple years ago, he would have bought one. He got quiet for a while and seemed upset, then later asked if I think he's an incel. Of course I said no and apologized a lot, since I didn't mean it that way, but he still seems upset with me and I'm wondering if I fucked up.",AITA for accidentally calling my boyfriend an incel?,NTA
10uzaip,"Backstory: I (23f) have always been thin and bony, to the point where my mother took me to the doctor as a child but he told her it was normal. I did become concerningly underweight in the past few years- many people I love died, battling a chronic illness as well as depression, and a few vices (nicotine, mainly) that aided in suppressing my appetite. This past year I really got a grip on my health and started turning things around and gaining weight healthily, rebuilt my relationship with food and everything.We have very close family friends who moved out of state years ago, but we see each other 1-2 times a year- my sister & I usually travel to their state in the summer for a week. I visited them last August, and they came to visit this past September after the passing of a mutual friend. In August the mother, let’s call her Kelly, badgered me several times during the trip about how thin I was. I told her I had been struggling but that I finally was turning things around and had been gaining weight. She insisted I was still too thin.In September, my mother told me that when they were staying with us Kelly kept asking her if I was bulimic, because they all saw me eat but I was too thin. It freaked my mom out but I have kept her updated on how much better I’m getting and how much more I’ve been eating, quit nicotine, etc. We live together and are close. But when my mom told Kelly I would have come to her if I had an ED, Kelly insisted “your kids never tell you what’s really going on.”Long story short, it was just way too many comments about my body and personal things when I kept insisting I’m aware of how I look and I’m really okay. Whenever we post or send pictures there’s a chance she will text me about my weight. Now it’s the time of year again when Kelly is bugging us to come visit her, but I genuinely don’t feel like spending a week in this woman’s house. When we don’t visit they take it personally because her daughters were close with us growing up, but they’re also old enough to come visit us now. AITA for not wanting to see this woman who was basically a second mother to me growing up? My mom says it’s out of concern and love, but it doesn’t really feel like it. I do look a lot healthier now (I AM a lot healthier), but I know it will still be brought up.",AITA for not wanting to see my family friend anymore?,NTA
10uqbli,"Some background, I 20F have three younger step siblings F18 M17 and F12. We have never gotten along and I especially can’t stand my step brother M17. Went on a family vacation and had two joined rooms. I walked in my room and he was sitting on my bed I was immediately hit by a vile stench that was filling the room. I said “something smells awful” and he immediately said it must be his dog (a 6 pound chihuahua). I knew it wasn’t the dog because he was visibly dirty so I picked the dog up smelled it and told him that it was definitely him. He argued and said it wasn’t and it was none of my business. That may be true but in my opinion if I am sharing a room with him it becomes my business. I told him that he was making it everyone else’s problem because he was so dirty that he was making the room reek. My parents are pissed and possibly rightfully so because I wasn’t kind in any way.",AITA for telling my step brother he’s disgusting for not showering?,NTA
10v12yx,"To begin, right now my friends and I have not been speaking for the last 2 weeks. I stopped answering their calls and texts because I needed a minute to think this through. Well now it’s been 2 weeks and i am not sure how to approach the situation.I was hanging out with a guy who I thought was a friend. We talked about some stuff and out of nowhere he wanted to get intimate. I declined and we began having a heated conversation over that. I began getting scared and asked to be taken home. On the way home it just continued. I stayed silent and as we were nearing my house he stopped. I decided to just get out and walk the rest of the way for my safety. He got angry and came to the passenger side as I was getting out and threw my purse outside. Long story short I was scared for my life at this point. I called my “friends,” who responded in a text asking “what?” I texted back and told them, “Emergency I am scared call me.” One friend called back and as soon as I told her she began to laugh assuming I was joking. I have never been in a situation like this and I am also playful, but this was a very serious situation.I broke down what happened and let her know I was walking home in the rain scared, unsure of what he would do next. My “friend” hung up on me because she said she was with a guy and could not talk about it then. Neither one of them checked in on me until 2 days later. I want them to understand friend do not do that, but I also feel like I shouldn’t have to. AITA or are they?",AITA in this situation or are my friends?,NTA
10ul5g5,"Context: I (21F) am engaged to “Isaac” (29m). Isaac has a daughter “Elaine”(3 F). Her mother “savanna”(22F) has a second daughter with bd 2 (32M). Elaine comes to us every other weekend and every Friday. Savanna has always had issues with me to where the police have been called and she can no longer contact me unless it’s about Elaine’s safety. (I wasn’t the one who called the police. I tried to be civil with her and she accused me of things and tried to get Elaine to hate me.) (Elaine LOVES me) Savanna has even refused to meet me since the day I started dating this man.Isaac and Savanna had a thing that savanna wanted that no one could touch Elaine’s hair because Isaac isn’t black. He had also not been informed she was going to mediation so everything she said went. Elaine has very curly hair like me. Savanna doesn’t actually know how to do hair as she doesn’t have any due to the same things she’s done to Elaine’s hair. They went to mediation again and the judge told her off and said we are allowed to do and wash her hair because I am black and white just like Elaine and it’s racist of her to not allow us to even wash her hair bc we “aren’t black” (judges words not mine bc savanna kept fighting saying we weren’t black)savanna always had her “sister” do Elaine’s hair in “protective” styles including extensions on a 3 yr. Old. CONSTANTLY to where Elaine is losing her hair. The mediation ALSO said we would no longer pay her child support since savanna owed Isaac a lot of money. So till that was paid off we didn’t owe her a dime. In that time, she couldn’t afford to get Elaine’s hair done anymore. Well, I started doing her hair because savanna wouldn’t even untangle her hair (Elaine hates it being done so bad. She said her moms hurts her with it then gets mad.) and Elaine has loved it! I use products for her hair specifically and her hair has grown back amazingly!  Her mom would send her back to us in the same style I had done it in the week or 2 before. Didn’t wash her hair or take it out once so I redid it one last time. Here’s the issue, savanna messaged for a week and a half straight about Elaine’s hair being done this time. Saying I don’t know anything about black people hair and calling me racist names. Threatening me and so much more. Claiming the stuff she “uses” on Elaine’s hair is better and it isn’t. She broke communication clauses. So she finally got child support again and immediately went and got her hair done by her sister in very tight braids with extensions. While continuing to harass me for doing Elaine’s hair even though I have been for months. This time, her hair was in a nice design and beautifully curly. AITA for this? And should I just back off? She’s flipping out even when I haven’t touched the hair. There’s only so much Isaac can do as well because of the communication clause.",AITA for doing my step daughters hair because her mother can’t?,NTA
10v3rhq,"My (23f) boyfriend (25m) suffers really bad with infections and has been admitted into hospital multiple times due to this. My boyfriend is currently living with our mutual friend and her family as he is originally from the other side of the country, I still live with my parents (there’s not enough space for him). Our mutual friend that my boyfriend lives with (22f) Emily was home when I called my boyfriend on my break at work, he was slurring his speech and kept passing out in the middle of speaking with me I had to shout down the phone to try to wake him back up, I told him I would call the doctor and ask Emily to take him to his appointment, he agreed that would be best and we ended the call. I spoke to the doctor and they said they didn’t want to alarm me but I needed to call an ambulance for him right away. I immediately tried to call my boyfriend back but was not answering so I called Emily and explained what had happened and told her I’d be calling an ambulance to her home. I then called an ambulance and my boyfriend was rushed through to hospital, I immediately left work as soon as Emily told me which hospital he was being taken to and met him at the hospital.He was given an IV drip for fluids and antibiotics and then transferred to a different hospital to check for blood poisoning (luckily his infection hadn’t got that bad) he stayed connected to the IV for a few hours and then was sent home with antibiotics but was still not in a good way and needed rest.When I returned him back to Emily’s home her dad was outside so I gave him a smile and a wave (we say hello but never much more than that.) Emily’s dad immediately stormed over to my car and started cussing me out. He said that no one knew what was happening when the ambulance crew turned up and I made them all look stupid. I tried to explain I had informed Emily but he shouted over me not allowing me to speak. He then said if I was that worried about my boyfriend then I should have been at the home when the paramedics turned up. I work an hour away from Emily’s home and did not want to wait that long to call the ambulance due to how sick he was. Emily’s dad also said it wasn’t my job to call an ambulance for him and he is a grown man and could have called them himself, when I told him he was incapable of calling them himself Emily’s dad said I should have called him at work (I don’t have his number or know where he works) and he would have come home and checked on him. There was a lot more shouting on his part and I couldn’t answer him I was so angry and shocked that he would speak to me like this when we barely know each other. He eventually walked away from the car and I helped my boyfriend inside who couldn’t comprehend what had happened and I left without saying bye to Emily’s dad.I don’t think I’m an asshole but on reflection it is his home and maybe I panicked and acted on this when I shouldn’t have. So AITA?",AITA for sending an ambulance to my friends home,NTA
10usl9x,"My uncle invited me over for his birthday weekend. I normally drive to his house 2 hours away and then we cross over the border to see the rest of the family. This time he asked me to come the night before (arrive Friday night, cross the border early Saturday and spend the day there). I agreed to the plan.Friday after work I called him to let him know I was going to fill up on gas and then I'd be on my way. I also told him I would call at a specific point in the drive. When I got to that point, I called him again and let him know I'm 30 minutes away. He said ""ok see you soon."" When I get to his house, nobody is home. I called him and he said he's a few blocks away and asked if I had eaten anything. I said no and that I could go grab something to eat while I waited for him. He agreed and asked to meet up again in 20 minutes. It sounded like he was in a busy place, like a store or restaurant. But he didn't give me a reason as to why he wasn't home.So I went to a nearby drive-thru and sat in the parking lot and ate and talked to friends on the phone. I tried to give him more than enough time to come back, so I actually didn't drive back to his house until 40 minutes later. Still, nobody was home. I'm getting frustrated at this point and I get the urge to leave. I'm messaging a friend and they suggest I give him one more call and to threaten to leave so that I can at least give him the opportunity to explain himself or come back. He answers the call but doesn't say ""hello"" right away, instead, I listen to the background noise and I can hear a waitress naming off beers and there's the clattering of silverware. He's clearly out having food and drinks. After about 5 seconds he tells me he'll call me back and just hangs up the call. At this point it's been an hour since I arrived in his city. I'm frustrated at the lack of communication and I'm tired from a long week. I text him and tell him I'm leaving his gift in his mailbox and that I'm going to head back home. So I do just that. This is where I might be the asshole. 20 minutes later, he starts calling me and I don't answer.  He messages me and asks where I'm going and then tells me that his car broke down. I don't want to talk about it or explain myself. I just don't want to fight or argue or explain why it's so rude to leave me hanging after I drove out so far. To me, the conversation seems pointless. A few minutes later, his wife calls me and messages me. I don't answer again. I do feel bad about this because she said she had just gotten off of work and that my uncle told her I was home. I don't think she knew what was going on because she's a hardass and wouldn't have made me wait. We haven't talked the rest of the weekend. I would personally like an apology but I don't think it's coming and I fear that I may have fucked this up with my family. I always fear that I'm not the most patient nor forgiving person, but I just wanted better communication.",AITA for leaving my uncle's house after he made me wait for more than an hour?,NTA
10v15wo,"A friend of mine has a terrible job, her boss is incredibly inappropriate and treats her like a personal assistant (requesting she get his coffee, answer his phone, get his lunch, etc) she gets passed over for promotions, and recently she even took a pay cut! Her boss claimed everyone was taking one because ""business has been slow and this is the only way to prevent layoffs"" but she's talked to other employees and so far she's the only one that's had their pay cut. The problem I've been having is that she texts me *all day* complaining about her job. I agree her job is terrible,  she has every reason to complain,  but she isn't DOING anything about it. Every day I tell her she needs to start looking for work elsewhere, there's no reason she should put up with this, she's worth more than this...I send her links to job postings in her area that she is qualified for, I've referred her to friends/family who are looking for good employees, but she just has excuse after excuse for why she ""can't."" Every time she actually starts behaving like she's actually going to quit, her boss will do something nice and then she gets like ""oh maybe I was overreacting/ being dramatic, it's not that bad, I'm going to stick it out."" She's worked there for 2 years and nothing has changed for the better. Last Friday I was dealing with a family emergency and so I admit I was already on edge, and I received **47 text messages** from her complaining about her job. I finally snapped and told her I couldn't deal with it anymore and if she wasn't going to figure out something else, then she needed to stop complaining to me about it. She got upset and said friends are supposed to support each other through everything, and I told her that I am not willing to support her staying at that job anymore, and if she chooses to then I don't want to hear about it. She called me a bitch and said not to worry about it, I wouldn't have to deal with her anymore. I haven't heard from her since Friday and now that things have calmed down in my life, I'm feeling a little bad for snapping at her. But I am also feeling like a weight has lifted from my shoulders thinking about not having to wake up to multiple messages tomorrow about her awful job. AITA?",AITA for telling my friend to stop complaining?,NTA
10uyods,"I'm (21f) currently in a relationship with David (24m) as of 3 months. We have been acquaintances for a while now. Here's the thing, David is my older sister Ellie's (24f) ex-boyfriend from highschool. They broke up after my sister moved to college and David only took online college. We've gotten closer over the past few months since David started working at a grocery store I regularly go to. Then we began dating. We didn't think Ellie would mind because they broke up 5 years ago and David only saw it as a shallow highschool relationship. I was against telling her until some months went by. Suddenly it was a week before she decided to visit (she lives a few states away) so I thought it was a good time to tell her.I sent her a text saying I'm dating David now and I was hoping she didn't mind since it has been so long. She didn't reply but she left me on read. Then the day before she arrived she told me it was fine and hope I'm happy with David. Ok, cool. Our parents were iffy with us dating overall and I didn't know how Ellie was going to meet him after not seeing him in so long.She arrived. David wasn't there, but our parents greeted her, hugged, caught up on life. She treated me like normal and asked how my relationship with David was going, I explained how we fell in love and all that jazz. Ellie became... strange. She started making comments about how David is probably only dating me to get to her and how David is doing the same things to me that he did with her. I told her to stop and if she's being bitter say it to my face, but she kind of laughed it off and said she finds it strange that I'm dating her ex at all. I don't know why, but I saw red. I told her to just go rot in hell if she's so jealous that I'm with David now. It was a huge argument and I couldn't take it. I already hate dealing with my parents saying the same shit.AITA? We haven't talked much at all, David is on my side, our parents is on Ellie's side.",AITA for telling my sister to rot?,YTA
10uii5n,"My wife’s family calls my 18 month old son Romeo “Jerome”. The all love calling him this. I really don’t like it. I don’t say anything to them because they’re nice people and love my son.Romeo has a baby cuzin named April the same age, my wife says that it’s mean for me  to call her Apey.       I think it’s a cute nick name, I can’t think of any other nicknames for April?AITA?Info Requested: We are all mexican/mexican americanUpdate After (100 likes): Yes its petty to call her Apey but it’s not in the terms of apes or monkeys just cuzz that’s all i can rhyme it with. Also, i failed to mention i don’t use this apey nickname to the family only between me and my wife. I’ll continue to call he April and when a good nickname comes to mind if not that’s fine.Also and i’ll let them call him Jerome because as I stated they love him and even tho I don’t like it that doesn’t mean i have to say something possibly influencing something on my son in the future based on me saying something. Thank you guys 👍🏼",AITA for calling my wife’s niece Apey.,YTA
10v25e9,"What I thought was a reasonable comment has turned into some major family drama, and I've been instructed to ""apologize"", and I don't feel I should. Since my nephew was born, my BIL and SIL have always referred to him sarcastically as ""the kid"" when he's asking them for something.  For example, if he's asking for something at the store, SIL will call BIL and say ""the kid is asking for 'x', should I get it for him?"". They do it when they seem to think he's acting entitled or spoilt. I always bite my tongue, but in my opinion it's dehumanizing and derogatory and how you talk about an annoying stray cat, not a child. Today we were all at grandma's house and my daughter got a popsicle from the freezer. In my household, we dont have to ask for permission to get sustenance. However BIL and SIL have old school ideas about the ""right"" time to eat something. So when nephew saw daughter with a popsicle, he went and asked his mom for one. SIL looked at him, didn't even acknowledged what he'd asked, and shouted to BIL in another room, ""BIL, you think the kid should have a popsicle?"" and winked at me. I don't know why I decided today that enough was enough but I snapped back ""don't wink at me like it's some joke, and [nephew's name] is your son, not a goat. Stop calling him 'the kid'"". You would think I'd said I was announcing WW3 tomorrow. SIL immediately snapped back something along the lines of if I had an issue I shouldn't say that in front of our children, and then left the room and did not talk to to me the rest of the visit. Later my husband received a text message from MIL saying I need to apologize for ""criticizing and insulting SIL in front of nephew"". Husband says I should just apologize. I don't think I have anything to apologize for. She's so upset because she knows I'm right, she's just being pigheaded. I honestly don't regret it even a little and wish I'd called out the behavior before my nephew was old enough to remember being referred to like that. But at least when he's older he will know an adult in his life stood up for him. It's causing more drama then I honestly think it deserves. Husband says he agrees about the ""nickname"" but I should apologize anyway. So im turning to you Reddit, AITA?","AITA for telling my sister in law to stop referring to her child as ""the kid""?",YTA
10urqde,"I am planning to go to a national park with my boyfriend of three years for my birthday in a couple of months. We decided to tell his parents because we all live together (including my boyfriends brother and his brothers girlfriend). His parents said they wanted to come and I had no problem with that because they’re so sweet, and despite being in America for 30 years they literally haven’t even been out of their area. So I just think it’ll be nice for them to see more of it. Well the problem arises when his parents say that they’ll let his brother and his brothers girlfriend know so they can ask for the days off. The girlfriends birthday is a day after mine so they thought it would be fun to make it a double celebration. I wouldn’t mind, but I just don’t like the girlfriend AT ALL. She also doesn’t like me.We’ve also been on trips with them before where his brother and the girlfriend have literally dictated the whole entire thing. My boyfriend and I would suggest something and they’d tell us no it’s not on the list. They also always pick seafood restaurants even though they know I have a bad reaction to seafood. It ends up coming out both ends and I end up sick and with stomach problems for a couple of days. They think it is okay since they always make sure the place has a hamburger or chicken fingers on the menu for me which I think is so annoying.Anyway, I reluctantly agreed though I told them that since I planned this we will all have an equal say on what we are doing. Of course, that did not happen. The girlfriend ended up booking an Airbnb without even asking if we liked it and it was super expensive and even all of us splitting it’s $600 EACH couple. She has made a list on where we should go and when I tell her what I want she says that no one is going to want to do this. I think she thinks she can control it all because she’s older than me. (I’m going to turn 21 and she’s turning 36).Anyway, I decided that it is my birthday too and I am going to celebrate it how I want to. I plan on telling them that my boyfriend and I are going to book our own airbnb and we are going to drive up ourselves and do the activities we want to do. (They can still be fully refunded for the airbnb). I plan on telling his parents that they are welcome to join our activities, though I understand if they don’t want to cause conflict and decide not to.I am scared I might be TA because I might make it hard for his parents and I think his brother and brothers girlfriend are going to be very upset. What do you guys think?**no one besides my boyfriend and I have requested the days off of work so they aren’t in a bind if they end up not going.",WIBTA if I told my boyfriends family they can’t come to my birthday trip?,NTA
10v0t9g,"I feel gaslighted so I just need to know if I’m in the wrong.A year ago, I went to a day party with this friend group. A few guys and my best friend’s husband had touched me inside the pool under the water. Since then, I have ghosted these people including my ex best friend because of this. I finally contact her to explain why I ghosted and to say my peace. She gets mad and accuses me of making false accusations against her husband. (They are hardcore Christians)I felt bad for disappearing and only came back to explain why. I was not looking to start drama nor looking to be friends again. Perhaps I should’ve not disclosed the names but she asked and I trusted her with this sensitive information. I genuinely wished her well but she kept interrogating me and invalidating my experience because she believes her husband couldn’t do such a thing. AITA?",AITA for coming back to explain my side of the story?,NTA
10v3456,"I'm a university professor and I stopped by the lab today to get some work done. Met a nice family whose son was showing them his classrooms for this semester. We talked for a bit and then I invited them into my lab to talk further. These parents flanked their children--both who were in their 20s, the son a sophomore in my department--and several times spoke for them and echoed their comments with parental overexplaining. The last time the mom did it, I (what I felt was jokingly) said, ""Shh, mom! Let him speak, he's not a little kid anymore."" She smiled and acquiesced, but looked a little pissed.Too much? AITA?",AITA for telling a mom to stop speaking over her child?,NTA
10utqei,"I, (13F) have been avoiding, or attempting to avoid my family, especially my older brother (15M) who has autism because I just cannot handle the amount of stress it puts on me.When I was younger I was always the stereotypical ""perfect child"" who's gotten all A's and never needed help (Still am). While my brother has always struggled in one way or the other. My father has always prioritized his work and my mother was busy helping my brother because of his learning problems.Because of my brother's autism my parents get stressed out because his problems add to their own and they often argue with each other, my brother, or me. My parents usually end up taking their anger out on me, but they often realize it and apologize. But it still takes a huge mental toll on me and the fact that most of the times I interact with my parents end up like this makes me not want to interact with them at all.Even though my parents argue with me sometimes they argue way more with each other or my brother and it hurts me so much when it happens. I hate to rely on others for comfort, so most of the time I end up crying in my room while my family screams at each other. Because of this, I fear being involved with my family incase they will argue.My brother is my main cause of my stress and it makes me feel horrible saying it. My brother lacks any form of empathy and expects others to change everything that he doesn't like. On the other side my brother will go as far to make fun of me when I'm upset. He will also blame his actions on things that I have done when I was around *seven* to make his actions seem justified*.* I try so hard to spend time with him but it always goes wrong because it is always him, him and him. If we play a game, he will throw the board and scream if he even begins to lose. Every time I try to love him and spend time with him goes wrong so I have given up. I try to set boundaries but they are always broken by my family.Because of all the constant stress and worrying I have developed depression and possibly anxiety. My parents have noticed and started to bring me to therapy half a year ago. I am trying to slowly spend more time with my family but I constantly worry about something going wrong. I also tend to bottle all of my emotions up and then explode in a angry fit and I feel horrible when it happens because it makes me feel just like my family. I hate making others sad because of how it effects me.I love my family and I understand my parents difficulty with my brother ( They have gone to multiple therapists/specialists and try to accommodate with his autism. ) But I simply cannot handle all of this plus the stress from school. ( I would like to note that I have a little sibling who cannot be left alone with my brother so I can't spend time with just my parents. )TLDR: Because of my brother my family often argues and when I try to spend time with them their anger is taken out on me.( I apologize for any grammar issues, this is my first post )","AITA For avoiding my family, especially my autistic brother?",NTA
10ux0zi,"My wife and I went to a popular restaurant in our city yesterday. It was very crowded and there was no parking. My wife was driving and she told me to go put our name in to the hostess while she drove around looking for parking. I did that and then came out to see if she could park. She still hadn’t and a few cars were circling around waiting for spots to open.  I saw a car getting ready to leave a primo spot and the only car between this spot and my wife was a car with a handicap tag on the mirror who had just pulled into the parking lot. I assumed they were going to use one of the open handicap spots, so I excitedly signaled to my wife and she was ready. However, the other vehicle passed three open handicap spots and parked in the regular spot. I was standing right in front of the car and I quickly said to the older lady driver, “I see you have a disabled tag. Would you mind taking one of the reserved spots?”  And she said that if there’s a close non-reserved spot, she prefers to use that and leave the disabled spots open in case someone else needs it. So, I said, “Ok well in this case there’s a shortage of *regular* spots and several open disabled spots that no one else can use but you.”  She grumpily said, “Now you know how we feel. Anyway, I’m parked now, aren’t I?” Then she went in to the restaurant. I ended up getting back in the car and we parked at a supermarket like two blocks away and walked to the restaurant. Our table still wasn’t ready or anything, but it was pretty cold out. I thought it was pretty rude of the lady to take a good spot when she had several disabled spots open to her. AITA?",AITA for asking a person with a handicap parking tag to not park in a regular parking spot?,YTA
10v2sdc,"English is not my first language, so please excuse me if I make any mistakes.I work at a very busy office, having to be seated all day for 5 years has given me some serious back problems. My boss is... not the kindest person, so I simply asked her if I could buy a new chair with my own money for my cubicle, she said yes.This was a month ago. My back hasn't been much of a pain as it were before, so it was worth the money.Last week, in my free time I was at my coworker's cubicle telling her to get a chair like mine, because it really helped me and she told me her lower-back had started aching lately, she said she felt it was unfair to the other people working there, I shrugged it off as I didn't really want to argue over that.I woke up this morning, and I saw I had an email from her, asking me to go back to my old chair, she said I had no right to do that and no one complained about back problems, so I should get rid of mine. She said if I didn't get my old chair back, she'd report me to our boss.I sent her an email back telling her that our boss approved of my chair and I did this because I really didn't want my back problems to get worse. AITA?I'm about to go to work now, I'll update later",AITA for buying my own chair at work?,NTA
10u6sml,"My husband  (M32) and I (F26) have been married for over 2 years now. We moved in together one week before we got married. Before getting married, I always felt disgusted when I would visit him because his house always had dog hair everywhere. Whenever I left, I would find dog hair on my clothes, in my shoes etc... and that really annoyed me. So when we moved in together, I made it clear to my husband that I wouldn't want a dirty house, and I refuse to clean after his dog. At the time, he agreed he would clean the floors and be the one to clean after the dog. A year ago, we had our first baby boy. I am very protective over my son. As a mother, I want to make sure he is safe and has a clean home where he can play freely. Previously, when the dog has encountered babies or kids, he is always very anxious, nervous, and protective of my husband. With our baby, his behaviour is worse. Now that our baby is walking and running around the house, the dog can not find a safe space and is anxious the entire time baby is awake and walking. This past month, the dog has growled at baby when baby was walking towards him and on a different occasion the dog went in to bite baby when the baby caught him off guard and got close enough to touch him. Not to mention how jealous the dog gets anytime my husband is playing with baby. My husband was there for both of these incidents and denies them as being anything serious or of concern... I felt the opposite. This past year has been the hardest year of my life as a first time mom. Not only do I not find a moment in the day to have a moment for myself, I definitely do not want to spend any free time I have cleaning after the dog, my husband, or baby. There is dog hair everywhere, the floors are always dirty with dirt, mud, dog drool, dog hair...etc. the carpet has a layer of dog hair on it. I find dog hair in all my clothes, my food, my cups, in my butt crack. I am so disgusted and annoyed at this point and it takes too much of my mental and physical energy to keep up. I am so unhappy. For the past few months I've just given up. My husband has noticed and he's picking up after me. He's been cleaning the house (but not the floors) and cooking occasionally. He's doing the best he can because he sees I'm frustrated... but still it's not enough. I am really grateful for my husband and tell him that everyday. But I want the dog out of here. Am I the Asshole?EDIT: I clean our home regularly. Our home is not a dump. Currently, any free time I have away from baby is to cook or clean. The dog was not there before me. My husband's brother abandoned the dog because the dog was jealous of his partner and causing issues in their relationship. The dog is now doing that with baby and has been doing that in our marriage. For example, the dog wants to steal the attention whenever my husband and I hug, kiss or hold hands... and my husband does end up giving the dog attention instead of me. We haven't consulted a dog trainer because my husband does not have the patience and he gets upset with me whenever I bring up seeing a dog trainer.",AITA for asking my husband to get rid of his dog,NTA
10v2mtt,"Hi all, A few years ago I cut contact with my abusive father. A few weeks ago I found out that he has been diagnosed with cancer. I've been very emotionally withdrawn from this and I don't feel anything about his diagnosis. I've been told by numerous people to reach out to him and let him know that I am sending him well wishes etc. AITA for not wanting to contact him to offer him support with his diagnosis?",AITA for not wanting to contact my father about his cancer diagnosis?,NTA
10uin13,"I have a coworker that is very sus. She lost her dad a couple of years ago and I’m so sorry for that but this is why I think I may be the ahole….She brings it up in the office soooo many times and in unnecessary times. Someone says how the weather is really bad and she’ll be like “yeah it was just like this when my dad passed”😲 what are we supposed to say after that? I say “what a long day today” and she’ll reply “yeah reminds me of the day of my dads funeral” y’all wtf. One crazy one was when our boss said “is everyone okay with sushi for lunch?” And she said “towards the end my dad couldn’t eat seafood so I don’t eat seafood anymore”….insane response. She lies a lot too about things that are so small. She told a group of coworkers that she doesn’t drink and then told a different group that she was hungover because she was throwing them back the night before. She also said she’s allergic to strawberries and then a few months later she’s eating a fruit salad with STRAWBERRIES! Why would she need to lie about that? Weird…She doesn’t do her job and never wants to answer her phone when clients call and blames it on her dad. It’s borderline psychotic because who does that?!So last week I had enough when she told me that she couldn’t do her share of our 2 month project that was due that week. She didn’t do any of it….her excuse was that she went to go visit her dads grave and work was too much. For 2 whole months?! I was livid, especially because she kept saying she was working on it. So I told her ask such. I said “I know your dad passing was a huge traumatic and horrible time and I get that 100% but if you can not do your job then you should take leave or let Managment know because now I’m on the hook for your portion which I shouldn’t have to do.” She just looked at me and started crying. I don’t feel bad but my other coworker said I was too harsh.Idk ATIA for what I did?",AITA for calling my coworker out?,NTA
10uzo2m,"I’m 23f my bf Kev is 25m we’ve been together for over a year but officially, today was our anniversary. We hadn’t planned much, but we were invited to the casino by his friends who are a couple we like to hang out with. I turned 23 during the pandemic and I’ve never been to a casino so I didn’t know what to expect! Before we were about to leave and pick up the couple, they let us know that the fem partner is sick and won’t be able to come. I was really bummed because I was looking forward to having another girl around and playing blackjack with her. I was hesitant to continue with our plans, but I thought might as well see how it is. When we get there, I was incredibly uncomfortable from the start. Every person in there was over 50 and smelled of cigars, I wanted to leave as soon as I saw the inside. There were no slot machines, just a large room for poker and blackjack. I mentioned to Kev before we decided on these plans that I didn’t even have money to gamble and didn’t know how to play either of those games. Again, I’ve never been to a casino and had no idea what it would be like, Kev has been before and in my opinion, should have known. We played blackjack and he taught me how to play for about 20 minutes. Then they headed over to play poker and told me I shouldn’t play because I’ll lose everything. I went to the bar to order myself a drink. This is where things took a low drop. As I order my drink, a man comes up to me and says “are u my escort I ordered” and showed me his phone messages as if we were looking for each other. I said in a disappointed tone “no.” From there, another man comes up and says “can I buy you a drink, I can get a hotel room for us right upstairs. How much”. The 15 minutes I spent alone felt like an hour. I refused multiple drink orders from one man who was saying “I won big and I’m ready to blow it all on u tonight.”  I wish I were making this up. My boyfriend comes over to see me in tears, asking him if we could leave. I was wearing a t-shirt and baggy pants but every man there made me so uncomfortable. I felt pretty dismissed when I told him what happened. I was crying to him and he said: “why didn’t you say anything back.” Instead of leaving, Kev had me sit and watch him play poker. After an hour of fighting back tears, I fought my own body’s instincts, got up, and left with my car we all drove in. I texted him “happy anniversary, get an Uber because I left” and called my friend crying home. I honestly was so uncomfortable that I was scared of simply my walk alone to the car. Kev has known me for almost 2 years, and he can’t see how sad and uncomfortable I was, fighting back tears at the poker table. What I did may be petty in some people's eyes, so I want to know from strangers that are hearing my side, AITA? Right now I’m home in bed, and he’s still at the casino and he knows I’m upset. TLDR: AITA for leaving my bf stranded without a car after I cried to him to leave because I continued to get men asking if I was an escort.",AITA for taking the car and leaving my bf on our anniversary,NTA
10v2ieh,"So every Monday for about 30 years me and a group of friends have met on a Monday evening to play TTRPG's like Dungeons and Dragons, etc. About a year ago we lost one of our own and it hit us pretty hard. Only a few months later another of us (Call him Dave, don't want to use real name's for reasons) lost their father, who used to look after his kids so he could come out to play. This meant either we moved the games to Dave's place or he couldn't come anymore. So of course we all offered to come to his.This has caused a couple of issues, firstly it's quite hard for us all to get there so we're often late or some people simply can't make it that week. On top of this we feel like Dave isn't really making an effort to make us comfortable. e.g: A lot of us smoke the devil's lettuce, which he wants us to do outside, which in itself is fine although in winter it wasn't so much fun and he never cleans the dog crap out of his garden so you never know what you're going to stand in. However, the real issue is that he has his son sit in on the games, which in itself is quite uncomfortable. So we are passing that stuff and rolling smokes right in front of him. None of us really want to censor ourselves on the one night a week some of us get to cut loose and destress. We obviously want Dave to be able to join us but we really don't want to be a sh\*tty influence on his kids and feel like we should say something. Dave has taken things badly in the past and tends not to see the other persons perspective when we've had to try and talk out disagreements in the past. I'm worried we are in the wrong here and could lose a good friend of ours.","AITA, Moved games night to our friends house, friends house is not a comfortable hang out and we all want to leave.",NTA
10up0zs,"My bio father(46m) and I(27f) didn’t always used to have a strained relationship. I’m his only child. I saw him quite often as a child and young teenager, until his wife (45f) (used to call her my stepmother) told me I acted better than them. They’ve been together 20ish years now, 5ish married. She has children. One (26f) the other (23f). 26f got out of jail and pregnant. 23f is currently pregnant. Both live at home, but work.My father started calling less when I became a young adult. I would try to call or text. Everything was always screened by her. She wouldn’t relay my messages to him or he didn’t care to get back to me. They shared a cellphone for a long time. They have two cellphones now, but one uses his email and the other uses the phone number. One phone gets all my messages, the other doesn’t. I can’t pick where my messages go either to simply just talk to him.My husband and my father got really close when I joined the army and left for training (2016). But soon after, she stopped relaying all my husband’s messages to my father. They stopped hanging out, and my husband lost what little familial support he had with me being gone.At one point they (before she was his wife) had a huge falling out, they split for a good while. My father seemed happier without her. I was actually able to talk to him. Then, they were back together and married in less than 6 months right before. I haven’t been able to talk to my father by himself since.He was shocked to find out we had been trying to start a family after correcting him for thinking I magically came up pregnant right after my stepsister (26f). When my stepsister dropped her news, I was already pregnant, we didn’t share ours because it was still very early in the pregnancy. Her baby is only two months older than mine.I went back home for my baby shower, and they came, but left early. My father had made a comment about my baby shower being put together better than my stepsister’s. I guess that upset his wife. So they left.They also got 26f’s daughter a large activity center for Christmas, but didn’t get mine anything. I don’t really care about my daughter not getting a gift. It’s the principle of getting one grandchild something and not the other. I brought it up, and it caused an even bigger rift.His wife was asking me questions recently regarding my return to work and how baby was doing in daycare. I explained everything and how I wasn’t at work yet due to doing observation hours to apply to a doctorate program in the army. I got really short responses after. Usually one of them will wish my daughter a “happy whatever month” she is on the day, but I haven’t heard anything after talking about the program. I feel like they genuinely don’t care.So WIBTA if I just cut them out of our lives completely to save my daughter from my uninvolved father and his controlling/jealous wife?",WIBTA for cutting my father and his wife out of our life.,NTA
10uyhoc,"So, I’ll put it frankly, I hate this girl. I met her in person a few months back, and from the get go I tried my very best to be welcoming and kind to her only for her to kind of brush me off. And I thought I was crazy so I was like maybe she’s just shy, but then when I saw her again, she did the same thing. A bunch of small stuff started happening at first, we were in a text chat with friends planning a trip and I was asking about the booking info, and she ignored me and responded to other people then booked the place without even asking or letting me check it out. I at this point began to feel like she didn’t like me. My gut was telling me something was off. The literal next day I find out that she sent a text to my bf, groveling for his forgiveness because apparently she talked shit about me in front of him (he didn’t hear, he was on the phone with his brother and I guess she said something nasty about me in the background), but nonetheless she made it a point to make it known that she talked shit about me in front of my own spouse. She makes a ton of excuses about how much she’s dealing with to my bf. I wait for an apology and don’t get one, so the next day I texted her, laying out clear boundaries to never ever disrespect me to my spouse. She sent something saying “it wasn’t personal” and it felt super non genuine, so I told her to leave me alone and keep my name out of her mouth unless she wants to step up and take accountability. No response. I get home and chat to my bf about it, I showed him the messages and he said it looked familiar, it turned out her “apology” was copy and pasted from a convo from 5 hours earlier. The audacity. The brother tries to do damage control saying she wants to apologize in person, and she never does. The entire friend group wants me to drop it and get over it, because she “means well”. It only makes my spite grow. I blocked her on everything and found some super weird and targeted tweets she liked that made super negative implications about Mexicans and I’m Mexican… idk I just feel like maybe she doesn’t like me bc of that or bc our bf’s look extremely similar. Either way I hate her now and don’t want her ruining my wedding (especially don’t want her around my family) (she also had a convo with someone when I was present about how she plans to wear red to the next wedding she goes to and personally if she pulled that shit on me I’d lose it. What sucks is the brothers are super close and I love his brother like family and I know he will not react well to this. WIBTA?",WIBTA if I don’t invite my bf’s brother’s gf to my wedding?,NTA
10uue3r,"Our household is scent free. We don't spray perfumes, use air fresheners or even scented laundry detergent. If it's a scent, it is an essential oil or naturally occurring fragrance. . It is our preference for nose sensitivity and health reasons. We have two younger children, 3 and 6, who have never been exposed to these types of chemicals in our house. We understand the outside world cannot be held to these standards but if his room is in on the same floor/VERY close vicinity of the littles, is it reasonable for us to ask him not to use those things in our house? Trying to judge reasonableness before we seem like assholes, what is this communities opinion? TIA",AITA I(30F) am thinking of asking my to stepson(19M) to stop spraying colognes/perfumes and burning candles in his room?,YTA
10us93w,"My wife (25F) and I (30M) got evicted recently. I've been behind on rent for 4 months. I do food delivery since being laid off 6 months ago. She had to quit her job because the stress was taking a toll on her anxiety at the same time.I decided to move back in with my parents because my mom has been taking care of our son (11mo) since he was 4mo and that my wife said she misses our son. We tried taking care of him ourselves but it was clear that the stress was too much on my wife. Before we moved in I expressly told her that I want her to take care of our son and herself and also to lessen the burden on my mom.The first thing she did after moving in was to sign up for job interviews. Her excuse is so we could move out ASAP so she could have her privacy. When she's not going to job interviews, she'd sleep in until well into the afternoon, find food to eat, play with our son for a bit, and go back into our room till dinnertime and repeat. Obviously this didn't go well with my parents. They pulled me aside, telling me that as her husband I can't keep enabling this behaviour.My mom wanted to talk to me personally. I've always told her everything was fine whenever she asked, contrary to what my wife was telling her, that I'm not taking my job seriously by playing hooky, playing games instead of taking jobs, fuelling her anxiety etc. I finally told her what was going on from my POV.My wife is stubborn as a rock. She'd rather writhe in pain then take her medicine if she has a fever. She refuses to take her antidepressants when she knows she'll wake up multiple times from nightmares. She refuses to eat properly even though she's has gastroparesis from her anxiety. Her not being able to take care of herself meant I had to take frequent unpaid leaves which led to my firing. She blames me for not taking enough delivery jobs when I can't get through 3 deliveries without her complaining about her stomachaches and asking me to come home. The only reason she hates me playing games is because it wasn't time spent giving her attention or working to earn money. I also know the real reason she wanted to move out is because she doesn't want to interact with my family and she blames them for ""gatekeeping our son from her."" She's also quick to pull the divorce card whenever we argue because ""I didn't even want to get married in the first place.""My mom was livid. I think she took particular offense because she offered to help take care of our son because my wife wanted to work and is now being blamed for it. I confronted my wife and she pulled the divorce card, as expected. I told her sure but I'm taking full custody. She sobs and went back to her parents' place but asks for our son. My parents and I are in agreement that she's not fit to take care of him and she should first take care of herself before even thinking about our son. I feel guilty for keeping her from our son but she had plenty of time to take care of him but chose not to.AITA?",AITA for keeping my wife away from our son?,NTA
10ulrkq,"I (27 F) received a text message from my auntie with a picture of my sister (29 F) and her boyfriend with the text ""newest couple in town"". When I looked at the photo I saw my sister had an engagement ring on. My sister wasn't speaking with me at the time, so I immediately texted my mom and asked if my sister got engaged. My mom replied saying she didn't know anything about it. She then proceeded to text my sister and ask if she was engaged. My sister got really upset and hasn't talked to me since and claims we ruined her engagement and we should have pretended we never received that photo from my aunt. I do agree that my mom probably shouldn't have texted my sister and maybe should have waited for my sister to tell her. But AITA for texting my mom and asking? My sister and my mom have always been really close and I figured she would know. I didn't mean to cause such a big fight and really just want the best for my sister. She sent out her invitations to the wedding and everyone (including my mom) got one except me.More context:My sister wasn't speaking to me at this time because:When I was 36 weeks pregnant she came over and the first thing she said to me was ""Holy shit you're fucking huge"". I was so taken back by this comment because not only was I at the end of my pregnancy but I was also really small and didn't show a belly. When I did give birth the following week she was the 5th person I told. I didn't have some strategic list of who I was going to tell, but to be honest she wasn't at the top of my list. Shes not the most supportive sister and she often makes very inappropriate comments. Then after the last comment she gave me she wasn't at the top of my list of people to tell. She ended up hearing from my grandma, before I could tell her first,  that I had given birth. She proceeded to text me saying how I was such a bitch for not including her and how offended she was that she wasn't #1 on the list. That's when she stopped talking to me initially. During the time of my daughters birth to her engagement was 5 months. I reached out frequently during this time with no response.",AITA for asking if my sister got engaged,NTA
10uuh19,"Throwaway to preserve the privacy of all the people involved. Also apologies in advance for any grammar mistakes, English is not my first language.I am enrolled in a master program in physics at a European University. Our class is small, so we all know each other and often get together to study. We also have a few lab courses that require us to form small groups and work together on data analysis or lab reports.Anyways, there’s this Korean classmate of mine, Y. He is a great guy (or so I thought prior to all this), but he has one major issue: he stinks. Badly. He has a strong garlic odor about him and I can’t for the life of me be around him for more than a few minutes at a time. Imagine the stench after eating 5-10 cloves of garlic every single day, that’s what he does. That’s what I’m dealing with here. Now, I absolutely hate garlic, smelling it makes me nauseous. I realize my reaction to it is very strong, which is part of the reason why I may be an asshole, but in my defense I have pretty typical ADHD-related hypersensitivity, and I just can’t cope. Our other classmates have also noticed the strong smell and have all started avoiding Y as a result. Nobody wants to be partnered up with him in the lab and be forced to work in close proximity with him for hours.Two days ago I ran into Y. He asked me if we could talk. Long story short he mentioned that he was feeling a bit down because he had noticed that nobody ever asked him to work with them in the lab and he was starting to think that we were avoiding him on purpose. He asked me if I knew anything about it and added that, since he considers me as a friend, he values my opinion a lot. Seeing him like that I felt extremely guilty and broken-hearted for him, so in that moment I thought it’d be best to tell him the truth. I explained to him what the issue was in the kindest, least judgmental and  most considerate way I could think of. I really tried my best not to offend him. Unfortunately he didn’t take it well. He got very upset very quickly, basically accusing me of insulting his culture and being racist. He told me that garlic is an essential ingredient in Korean cuisine and that just because we (Europeans?) eat bland food it doesn’t mean that he has to adapt. Essentially blew up at me and said we were all assholes before storming off. I was shocked by his reaction, mostly because I was genuinely trying to help him and because my words came from a place of compassion.Still in disbelief, I told two of my other classmates/friends what had happened and they also ripped me a new one. According to them I shouldn’t have said anything, and they’re annoyed at me for making things awkward for everyone. I do see their points, but a part of me still thinks that being honest was the right thing to do. I will apologize to Y regardless, but in the meanwhile…AITA?","AITA for telling my classmate that he reeks of garlic, and that the smell is the reason why the other students have been avoiding him?",NTA
10v0khp,"I F25 have a brother M32.. that got in a disagreement regarding my parents farm. For context my parents have a farm that is about 607 Acres that has 50,cows 30 sheep,  10 pigs, 6 horses, 6 lamas , 2 donkeys and a fuck ton of chickens, ducks and turkeys. This is a rough estimate because these animals animals are either breeding or you know sold to butcher…but my point is it’s functioning farm and my parents have made profit for decades from it until about Covid hit.. it really hit my parents hard and they had to lay off a lot of workers that were helping the farm so it’s been a rough road. Fast forward to last night, my brother and I got in a drunken argument regarding the farm.. it’s my personal belief that I think my parents should sell some of the property and auction off some of the livestock so they can have a proper retirement..because well my dad is getting up there and has a lot of health issues and my brother thinks he’s running the farm well when in reality he’s not it’s in the most terrible condition I ever seen it in and I told this to him all last night… so he gets mad at me and said “ well you don’t even try to help mom and dad, you get all this money from your ex husband and can’t even chip in” ( which I do chip in money) and  then he goes on and calls my kids “spoiled brats” because I won’t let them help out on the farm. (For the readers who don’t know my children ages are F8, F6, F6, F4 and M2) I’m just really stuck on what he expects my children to do..like does really expect my 8 year old to get in a tractor and start bailing hay? And as far as my kids tending the the animals I don’t trust my brothers supervision because one time he let my 6 year old…get in a pin with the donkeys and one of them bit her, the donkeys aren’t used to being around kids. especially my wild kids. So I 100% fault him in that and not the donkey.   But back to the argument, I then just let him have it and told him if he would get his lazy fat ass up and put the Jameson down maybe, Just maybe the farm would not be facing a financial crisis. But now my family is now pissed with me because, I hurt his feeling by insinuating that he’s a fat drunk and that I don’t see him trying with the farm and that I should be more compassionate ... But I just don’t feel like apologizing to him and I don’t think I’m asshole..because most of the things I said was really factual. My brother bit off way more then he can chew with this farm and I’m really scared if god forbid something happens to my dad, my family will be in extreme debt. So idk I know this story is a lot and all over the place but please let me know if I’m the asshole here.Edit: to make a couple things straight I live 30 minutes away from my parents and we do not live on the farm and my kids go to school full time..also my brother asked for my opinion on where I stand with the farm and he was getting ready to request to borrow some money from me. Also I was helping my parents with the farm up until I had a falling out with my mom..but I don’t plan on stopping the monthly payments because I know how much my dad appreciates it and how much he loves that damn farm. And I’m planning apologizing to my brother for calling him fat ass, um I only said it to him because he called my kids spoiled brats for no reason. but everything else idk I’m still stuck on feeling I’m not the asshole",AITA for calling my older brother a lazy fat ass?,NTA
10uy1xp,"To explain, I (19F) and my best friend at the time.. We'll call him George (21M) planned on moving in together in Jan 2023, but we made the decision early 2022. His mother kicked him out in the middle of us planning, and he moved in with our third friend's family, we'll call her Iris (20F).He's sleeping on the couch at Iris' parents place, and we still plan on moving in together. I take up a second job to save for the move because I know George won't have enough to cover the first month's rent + deposit, I communicate this w/ him. Towards November/December 2022, my mom gives me until Jan to find a place or she'll kick me out. I communicate this with him. He ignores me, doesn't follow up, makes no plans, and I'd already paid for school in the state we made plans for. I give him one last chance to make it up after weeks of begging for feedback, and nothing. When I tell him that I'll just be moving out by myself, he apologizes and begs me to change my mind, that he won't be able to get an apartment on his own, and he was really riding on our plan - but I already made the decision.I feel .. mean. He's homeless, basically couch-hopping, but he left me in the dark while I waited for him even though I was also at risk of being kicked out. AITA?",AITA for deciding not to get an apartment with my homeless ex-best friend?,NTA
10utmde,"I am a college student (19f) who moved away from my mom back in September.My roomates and I were distant at first but recently started getting close and hanging out a lot. I started complaining to her about how my mom constantly messages me asking me why i'm not not home before 10pm because she has a program on my phone. My roomate got weirded out and said that's not normal and that I am a adult now and am not obliged to follow a curfew. I was surprised that this doesn't happen to her as well and started asking her a few questions like if her mom has all her passwords for ger account and if her mom logs into them and checks her messages, who she friends, what she post, etc.Which ended up shocking mu roommate even more and she told me that I need to change my passwords because it's super odd that my mom goes through all my stuff.She helped me factory reset my phone and change all my passwords to my accounts. My mom called me not even an hour after.She was really angry with me and threatened to no longer pay my portion of my rent or buy me groceries anymore.She told me that i am being ungrateful and that I am her only child and she needs to make sure that I am okay and that everything she does is for me.I feel really bad for doing it but I also enjoy the freedom. I don't want my mom to worry about me and I am thinking that she does this because I am her only child.My roomate has many sibling so maybe that is why things are different for her.I dont know if I am in the worng for doing this but would appreciate if you could let me know because it is really stressing me out",AITA for changing my passwords on my mom,NTA
10u491u,"Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ykco9s/aita_for_asking_my_parents_to_cover_half_of_the/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_buttonFirst of all, thanks to everyone who commented on my first post. I was overwhelmed with what happened after so I couldn't reply to a lot of people. And not to the update, long story short my sister didn't break the switch, it was her ""friend"" who threw it and made my sister say it was her. A few days after it happened, my sister came to my room and said that her ""friend"" bullies her at school, made her invite to our house and play on the switch. My sister is very shy and impressionable, and that girl used and manipulated her. Obviously I don't have any proof but it does make sense, my sister is usually very careful with the things she borrows from me, and she did get bullied last year by other girls.I won't get into much details any further but we did contact her parents and got and apology, they refused to pay though. My sister got switched to home schooling for now and doing really well",UPDATE AITA for asking my parents to cover half of the cost of my new Nintendo switch?,NTA
10u1ai6,"UPDATE: I texted her this morning and I apologized for crossing a line. She said while she accepted the apology, the relationship wouldn’t be continuing any further. She said a lack of self-awareness and emotional maturity is not something she can overlook when dating someone. So I guess I’m single now.Me (23M) and my girlfriend (21F) have been together for four months now. She’s great. Beautiful, crazy intelligent, and has the best personality. Genuinely my dream girl. Except for one issue—her camera roll. For background, she dated a guy for four years in high school and the first half of college. She broke up with him last year, and has dated other people since then, leading up to me. She never really talks about him, unless telling a past story about her friend group (which he was a part of until he suddenly up and left). According to her, the reason they broke up is she realized they were on two different levels of maturity (when I mean she’s intelligent I mean she’s well known around campus and every professor adores her, and we go to a Big 12 university). She also got life threateningly sick and, while he was worried for her, she knew he wouldn’t be responsible enough to take care of her in the future (progressive heart disease). They ended on good terms, but don’t talk anymore because he is kind of an introverted guy according to her.The part I get upset about is every time she opens her camera roll to show me a past picture she scrolls past photos or videos of him and her. I’ve brought this up to her before, and she always laughs and says it’s because she’s too lazy to go through 30k photos (she hasn’t deleted pictures since 2015). These photos and videos of him and her aren’t romantic, they’re high school shenanigans and usually involve her other friends, but I still can’t help but feel jealous.Today she showed me a photo of her friends in 2018, telling me a funny story. He’s in the photo. I said “you have a lot of pictures with him” in an annoyed tone, and she said “well yeah, he grew up with me and my friends. We were kids together. It’s like a look back into my childhood.” I told her I didn’t like those pictures, and she offered to remove them and put them on a drive. I told her that wasn’t enough. She told me they were precious memories she shared with her friends and she wasn’t going to delete them just because he was in a couple. I kinda raised my voice and told her she should go back to him if the memories were “precious”. She got up and said “I don’t want to go back to him, but I also don’t want to be with someone who is emotionally insecure, I have enough to deal with” and then left.I’ve debated on texting her and apologizing. AITA?Tl;dr: Girlfriend has group photos that has her ex in them from years ago, and I got upset she wouldn’t delete them and made her upset.",AITA for yelling at my gf due to her camera roll?,YTA
10uj9jx,"I saw someone I knew from high school at my gym a few months ago. We chatted for a few minutes until I realized something was off with him. He seemed like he was manic - talking a mile a minute about his reincarnation and resurrection. I was able to exit the conversation smoothly and tried not to make any judgments. Anyway, now every time I see him, he kinda traps me in conversation with him, not picking up on body language or verbal cues that I would like to end the conversation (“well, it was good seeing you” or “have a good work out”). I find myself having to be almost rude to cut the interaction off. And it seems like the only way to not have these interactions would be to ignore him when I see him - but that also feels rude. It happened again today but this time, he weirdly asked me to very casual plans for Valentine’s Day even though I am very obviously not a casual-type of dating person nor am I in a life position to date casually. I lied and said I was in a relationship and then he asked several pressing questions. It’s all just a lot. Am I the asshole for not wanting to speak to this person?",AITA for not wanting to talk to someone at the gym?,NTA
10ur7bo,"2 days ago a lady showed up with a dog that was roaming our street and asked us to keep her safe until we found the owner... Well, we did and here is what happened.We contacted the guy because I realized that we've dropped this dog off there last year as well, and asked him to come fetch her. He didn't even notice she was missing.An hour later, she is back at our gate whimpering. I let her in and she immediately jumps onto my bed, wagging her tail as if she has been with me her whole life. The next morning, we let the owner know that the dog is still with us, and that he can come pick her up. This was at 9 am. He only came after 12, albeit reluctantly. That night was my birthday party. We went to drop a friend off at home, and when we got back, there she was again, happy to see us as if she's been living here her whole life. She again slept in my bed and even played with our other little dog. Here's why I'm debating on keeping her. We told the owner the previous day that if she escapes again, they should come here first. He never did. This made me wonder if he even noticed that she was gone at all. It's been almost 24 hours since she's been here, and this guy didn't even make a post on our community group chat saying that his dog was missing. I go crazy if I don't see my dog for 10 minutes... How do you not notice that? And if I do notice my dog is missing, the first thing I'd do is contact my neighbors... So Reddit please help me with this moral issue. I understand that she isn't my dog, but clearly there is another issue here. What am I supposed to do?",WIBTA if I kept a dog that wasn't mine?,NTA
10v3gku,"My girlfriend and I have been together for a few months now and we met at our workplace. She always came by bike because she couldn't afford to buy a car for herself. I decided to pick her up from home and to work with my car and said to her if she wanted to she could look for a car and pay me back whatever it costs. She agreed and found a car she liked and made a deal to look at the car and buy it the same day (all of this within a span of a few days after telling her this). No problem but a few days before she would've went to look for the car, I got some serious bills to pay which made me unable to pay for her car now. I told her this and she was fuming, calling me a liar and said that I wasn't a man of my word. I know she had abusive boyfriends in the past which maybe explains her extreme outburst but I still have the question in my mind: Am I the Asshole?",AITA for promising to buy my girlfriend a new car but having to cancel it because of unexpected financial bills?,NTA
10v1i0c,"A few days ago I was off from work and without much to do besides have some me time. I decided at one point to take a break from what I was doing, get some fresh air and go to my local connivence store. Once there I got a couple snacks and a drink. The way to and back from the store goes through a developmental area close to my house. For some extra context after traveling through the development you simply have to cross one major road, 4 lanes of traffic with a turning lane, and it’s right there in total a 5 minute drive. On the way back I was behind a car that believed I was too close to while they were effectively slamming on the breaks to pull into their driveway, almost as if they forgot where their house was, which prompted them to yell out of their window at me. Which got under my skin a little and I yelled back. Interestingly enough their house follows a sharp 120* right turn and a stop sign situated at the same turn. After the person in the car yelled at me and I promptly made my presence known all the same they pulled into their driveway. Here I pass them and they decided that it would be a good idea to follow me home. Noticing that they were following me I had called my step dad for advice. My step dad also happens to be a deputy sheriff in my area. Where I told him that someone was following me and that I was in the development. After passing my house my step dad was standing on the corner away from our house and told me to stop the car by him instead of pulling up to the driveway where my youngest sibling (13) was outside. On arrival my step dad tells me to get out of the car that I stalled anyway in a fit of rage. The following car pulls up along side me blocking the road entirely and we begin to have an all out screaming match. Where I, not so calmly, express that you cannot just follow people to their homes because you feel as if you have the right to know who they are and that they upset you. You saw my face while pulling into your driveway, and at any point could have obtained my license plate at any point. I know that you have no expectation of privacy in public areas; however, following someone home doesn’t sit right with me. Their attitude came off almost as if they were entitled to breach my safety and that even if that made me upset I was further antagonized with a “boo-hoo”. We continued screaming, unfortunately. I wanted to call the police but since my step dad had calmed me down and took a picture of the plate we played a bit of the waiting game to see if they would come back around. They did not. Yet, throughout this whole time I am still angry and have a picture of their license plate so I called my municipality’s police station and filed a complaint in case I ever need it for an IAH, and kind of hoping something would come of it. Come to find out they have warrants in their name and now I actually kind of I feel bad.",AITA for calling the cops so late?,NTA
10uexjv,"So my (31F) husband (32M) was laid off a couple of weeks ago and his severance only consisted of one month worth of salary. He is an advertising guy who was making close to six figures one day, and now we risk losing our house that I was close to finishing the renovations for.Even though we saved, we are going to be behind on contractor bills and my husband has been telling me that most of the money he gave me to run my own consignment business may need to be used to tie us over, which made me very anxious and upset since I have been leasing a space for four months already and I assumed business would be picking up soon if people buy used during recessions.I was previously a waitress and tried to contact my old restaurant but they were not hiring. I have also sent out an application to another restaurant and have not heard back, so I feel like nobody is hiring in my area of expertise.My husband told me to give him time to figure something out and that he did not want the members of the extended family to know, at least not for the next month or so. My husband's mother and stepfather are both blue collar, but his stepfather's late brother was very successful and his son is as well. My husband's step cousin (49M) owns many businesses, among which are a rehab facility and a moving and storage business. His rate of business has actually accelerated in recent months and he has been giving me advice on my business as well.His step cousin was judging a business competition last weekend and I was volunteering for the organization that puts it together, so after the event we got to talking. I broke down and decided to tell him that my husband has been laid off and so we were in a dire financial situation that meant I might have to close my shop. I asked him for advice.He told me he wouldn't tell anybody and gave me advice regarding marketing and insisted on giving me the money to cover rent and a marketing budget/ other bills.I was grateful for his help and used some of the money he gave me to pay down a few credit cards and my husband ended up looking in my desk and finding out he wrote me a check. He was furious and called his step cousin, and his step cousin asked why he didn't just tell him that he was in trouble- because he could have floated him a job. My husband and I got into a big fight as a result two days ago and he said I basically announced his job loss to somebody he thought was pretentious and overbearing. He accused me of humiliating him and claims that his step cousin told his mother, and that she is a gossip. I maintain that I had no ill intent and was just trying to be realistic and ask for help. Now my husband has told his step cousin off and tells me I need to get a job. AITA? I now feel bad for investing some of the money for my business.","AITA for "" exposing"" my husband's job loss to his step cousin?",YTA
10v5j9r,"This is an unbelievably stupid argument not even based from a real situation or one that is likely ever to happen. I’m 37M and my wife is 35.My wife asked me that if there was ever a situation in which her and our two kids who are 5 and 7 were in danger who would I save first. I told her right from the bat it was a stupid question to ask and I didn’t want to keep talking about but she kept pushing and pushing for an answer so I just said out of instinct I’d save the kids first.She then got really irritated asking ‘well what about me?’ I reiterated how stupid her question was and that there is literally no point in talking about it but again she wouldn’t shut up about it. Ultimately I just said to her out of annoyance that in any scenario I’d save the kids first then go back for her and that I hoped she’d do the same considering the kids come first always.Well, now she’s pissed off at me over some fake scenario all because I said I’d save the kids over her. She says I’m an AH for being ‘unfeeling’ and ‘callous’ and that I am belittling her for calling the question stupid and she has gone on the defensive basically saying I’m calling her stupid.She has been snappy, not really talking to me and is in general just being argumentative. AITA?",AITA for how I responded to my wife’s hypothetical situation that has pissed her off even though I said it was stupid?,NTA
10ugp04,"Lease clearly states tenants are to keep the ""peace and quiet"" of the home and not create any nuisances that will disturb other tenants.Roommate ""Emma"" has been been loud noisy sex for 4 months now with her BF. When I say loud, I can hear her panting like a dog while they screw through the wall. I can't even sit at my desk when they are together because my desk will ricochet off the wall while they are fucking. This occurs around 3-4x /week, and we are all grad students--so we are all pretty busy and studying. Another roommate had already spoken to ""Emma"" about keeping the noise level down in Dec. It's now Feb, and the noise level hasn't changed.Also, ""Emma"" has made a copy of our house key and given it to her boyfriend. Boyfriend now lets himself in when she isn't there and stays in the house even after she leaves to go to school. As an all-female house, its pretty inconvenient because don't feel comfortable walking around in a towel anymore. And like I said, he is here 3-4 times a week from 4pm-the next morning.Confronted ""Emma"" and her response is that ""she pays rent."" I drafted an email to landlord with screenshots from the lease. My other roommate is also willing to corroborate these facts. WIBTA for getting her evicted?​Edited to add:The house is rented out by room. So Emma being evicted would not effect me/drive up my monthly payments. My other roomie who is frustrated and I both plan on going the landlord and threatening to break our leases if something is not done about this issue. I would also like to state that    I have 0 problems with the other roommates who occupy this dwelling.​The exact phrasing of the words in the lease is:""Tenant is entitled to quiet enjoyment of the premises. Tenant and guests or invitees will not use the premises or adjacent areas in such a way as to create a nuisance by annoying, disturbing, inconveniencing, or interfering with the quiet enjoyment and peace and quiet of any other tenant or nearby resident""",WIBTA for convincing my landlord to evict my roommate?,NTA
10v5h9s,"My sister was recently widowed. She was in a very tulmutous relationship with a man who was very mean to her. He also had a drug problem so they were always broke. She has left him many times over the years and always went back to the dismay of me and everyone else who helped her. The last time she left him was on xmas eve. I told her id support her & the kids until she found a job and was able to support herself.. well shortly before new years he passed away. They had two kids together and a large house that had been left mostly neglected. I have tried to be there for her emotionally as well as financially. I told her I would have her back and ive tried to stick to that. The bills at this house are expensive and she doesnt have a job. She has the opportunity to go back to work for a union she apprenticed with before, but she says that she doesnt have a babysitter for the kids so she cant do that. (6 & 3 yrs old) meanwhile, i am struggling financially myself. I drive a truck for a living and at the sake of making myself look like a total jerk i am only there 4 days a month. I do not feel like i should be obligated to pay all the utilities (500 a month avg) for a place i am at 4 days a month. I know she has kids. And i know this is a difficult situation but she has the ability to get out of it plus she will have approx 2600 coming in for survivors benefits because her husband was on disability when he passed. AITA for not wanting to be a good sister & stay in this and tell her its not my problem?",AITA for telling my sister to figure it out,NTA
10ukyod,"For the last 4-5 years, I have been living closer to my grandparents. My grandma was diagnosed with dementia in that time, and it has gotten worse. However, it is the issues with my grandpa that have caused me to want to do this, which includes the following -blaming me when another relative doesn’t return his call -calling me 7-8 times when I don’t call him back -will pretend that he cares about our conversation, then the next time I call him, ask me if I think he really cares with what I have to say -Makes fun of my clothing choices; when I was heavier, told me I waddled around. -Expected me to be at his beck & call when he needed simple things such as running to the store to get a card. I finally put the hammer down & said I’m tired of how he’s treating me and he is stressed and I think it would be better to put my grandma into assisted living. Because of that above statement, he exploded on me & told my uncle he wants to talk to me less. I’ve been told by other relatives to be patient & understanding and that there are always two sides to every story, he’s old and dealing with a lot. There have been many more instances of verbal abuse not listed on this, but I feel what I’ve shared is enough. I recently met a guy I really cared about & knew I had to make a choice, because if I didn’t let this situation go, it would impact my relationship with my new guy. I’m struggling, and trying to reconcile that I made the right decision, but I’m not sure FYI-my grandpa is my grandmas caretaker and he is of sound mind. He’s taking his anger out on me. TL;DR walked away from grandparents who were verbally abusive",AITA for making the decision to no longer help out in caring for my grandparents?,NTA
10u788e,"My mom's boyfriend has been around since I was 12. I was a messy kid. I mainly contained myself in my room, because I felt anytime I left I always did something wrong. Accidentally leaving a wrapper on the kitchen counter. Taking a shower and not drying the wet floor. I just couldn't do anything right. My room was messy, because I felt I couldn't leave it, and I was ashamed of my existence. For all his grievances, he would never confront me. He would just yell from whichever room he found traces of my existence in, in a volume I could hear behind my closed door. I'm 22 now and I visit my mom on the weekends, as I have two (half) brothers ages 3-6 that I care about a lot. In regards to my mom's boyfriend, I don't like to acknowledge him--he will say hi, and I usually deflect by saying hi to my brothers instead. I came home around 8pm, and--in addition to the usual cast of mom, mom's boyfriend, brothers--my aunt was there. For the most part, my mom's boyfriend stayed in the living room, while my aunt, mother, and I hung out in the kitchen, only really interrupted when my brothers wanted our attention. It was a nice night. Eventually, my mom's boyfriend puts the kids to bed, and so us three decided to drink some alcohol. We're a few drinks in when he decides to join us in the kitchen. At this point, the alcohol is hitting me; my recollection is a bit foggy here, the combination of alcohol and rage. My aunt was talking about something related to politics. My mom's boyfriend, with a smirk I saw as condescending, says ""Oh, don't believe everything you read."" Me and my aunt inquire, what do you mean?Mostly, I remember he said that ""I don't believe Columbine and Sandy Hook happened."" I flipped out. I said something along the lines of, ""How can you say that when you have two children? I hope this doesn't come back to bite you in the ass. Or her!"" Pointing to my mom, who was silent. Then I either call him an outright idiot, or say that what he's saying is idiotic. In return, he mocks me. Does these ranting and and raving liberal motions with his hand, while making baby whines to imitate how he thinks I sound. And then he says, ""You know what, I just won't talk anymore."" And I say, ""Good! I am tired of hearing your mouth. My life would be better if you never spoke to me again."" I walk towards him, tell him to get out of my way, as he's blocking the doorway. He says something like, sure, I'll get out of your way. I go to my room, grab my bookbag, shoot a text to my partner asking to pick me up.Before I walk out the door, I stop to put on my shoes. My mom tries to stop me, tells me that I don't have to leave. I tell her, No. You did this. I think I even point at her for drama before I leave. That's kind of where I'm at right now. I think generally it's bad form to call someone an idiot, but I don't really regret it. Should I, though? AITA?",AITA for calling my mom's boyfriend an idiot and telling him it'd be better if he didn't speak?,NTA
10uxrz5,"I am graduating high school in June of 2023 and am only allowed to bring 4 people to my graduation. My family is currently trying to convince me to allow my father to attend my ceremony, while I do not want him there in the slightest.I have been no contact with my father for 2 years after my parents divorce, especially after finding out he cheated on my mother with my bestfriends mom (his current gf now). He is a narcissist and has broken multiple of my boundaries in the past years, he caused my high school life to be hell by reaching out to my teachers behind my back to get info on me since I didn’t speak with him. I had to switch to a self directed school as to prevent him from accessing my school life as easily as public schooling. This change has been the best but hardest thing I have ever done as I have no friends at school due to switching in my grade 12 year. I refuse to allow him to attend any of my sport games or performances as I believe he doesn’t deserve to see my accomplishments after he ruined me. The same goes towards my graduation, I don’t want him to get to witness this huge accomplishment after wrecking my passions and my will to live over the past 2 years. I can go into details about the abuses I faced while living with him and why I am now no contact. My family says that since he was there for the first 14 years of my life, he should get to see my grad, while I believe he shouldn’t because he single handed flipped my life upside down and ruined the “highschool dream”.",AITA for not wanting my dad to be at my graduation?,NTA
10uuah5,"For context: I (26F, we'll call myself Bree) don't shave my legs or armpits (I don't do my armpits all the time, really).So over the weekend, my mom and I went shopping and we went to try on shoes. I sit down on one of those cushioned seats that shoe stores have and lifted up my pant leg to try on a pair of boots. My mom saw my leg hair. ""Bree, you don't shave your legs?"" ""Uhh no, it just takes up too much time."" ""That's disgusting."" It was uncomfortable, but whatever.Then we stand in line at a pretzel place and I stretch with my arms up. My mom takes my t-shirt sleeve and fucking yanks it open and sees my armpit hair. Y'all. She flipped the fuck out. She about had a heart attack over some damn hair. ""Bree, that's disgusting, you need to shave."" ""Okay will you stop commenting on my body please?"" ""Well you're a woman. Women need to be sanitary and clean, we have different grooming needs.""The thing with my mom is that while she says all of this bs, *I'm the only one out of both of us who showers regularly*. Yes, you read that right. My mother, who is nagging me about not shaving, does not shower regularly. She also *doesn't wash her fucking hands after using the bathroom*. Very seldom do I hear the bathroom sink running before she leaves. She also smokes like a freight train and wears the same pyjamas every night. Her and I both work at a hotel, I'm a housekeeper. We both have to do very labor-intensive work and recently we've had the honor of taking out allllll of the trash in the hotel. We had to push a cart full of leaking garbage out to the dumpster. This woman did not shower when we got home and wore the same work pants on that she wore when we took out the trash, the next morning.Well, yesterday, we had some friends over for dinner. We started talking about Bath & Body Works sales and the like and someone mentioned how she thought they should have men's shaving cream. Oh boy, here it comes. I saw it coming. ""Hey, that's what you need, B!"" Cue confusion from everyone. One of them asks ""wait what?"" and mom goes ""yeah, she doesn't shave her legs or armpits. We were at the mall the other day and I saw all the hair she doesn't shave."" Everyone turns and looks at me in disgust. Embarrassed immediately, red-faced, felt like crying.So, feeling cornered, I snapped back. Here's what I said, quote:>Oh okay and who's the one out of both of us who takes showers regularly? We came home from work the other day after handling nasty, leaking trash and she didn't take a shower. Mighty bold coming from someone who doesn't wash her hands after she uses the bathroom.After that, I left from the dinner and went to Texas Roadhouse by myself. I got an influx of texts, saying how I didn't have to do that, I should've just changed the subject, now everyone's quiet, etc. I got back home and my mom didn't say a word to me. When people ignore me, that's when I think I made them mad and that's when I start to feel guilty. I still feel guilty even though I apologized. AITA?",AITA for exposing my mom in front of friends?,NTA
10v2vun,"3 years into this thing, my parents still double mask, glove up and socially distance everywhere. When I lived at home, I had to follow their very paranoid rules (I'm talking washing groceries and dodging maskless joggers), but I moved out a few months ago and have since restarted my life.I wore a mask to public indoor places until now, where I now feel comfortable to completely forgo one. Telling my parents this, they freaked out, especially since my dad's birthday is in two weeks and I ""won't be able to come over to celebrate maskless"" like we did for the holidays.According to them, now I've become selfish and shortsighted because they'll never be able to hang out together again without masks, and we probably can only meet outdoors from now on. AITA?",AITA for not caring about going to my dad's birthday party?,NTA
10v4yiu,"My (24F) birthday is in a few weeks and I have decided to go away for that weekend. Among the friends that I invited are 'Sarah'(22F) and her new fiance 'John'(25M).A bit of backstory is that I have known and been on and off friends with John for about 15 years and I met and became really good friends with Sarah after they had started dating about 2 years ago but not through John.They recently got engaged and found out shortly after that they were expecting then the worst happened and she unfortunately miscarried. To be clear this is not why I want to uninvite them. Their relationship is toxic, to say the least, and has only gotten worse since the miscarriage. They will go from being madly in love to screaming the nastiest things they can think of at each other in literally the blink of an eye (I have been present for this multiple times) and then go back to normal just as fast, it is like emotional whiplash for the people around them and we never know how to behave or react once they are madly in love again. They even had a fight the night of their engagement party and went home separately. Most recently we were having a night out at the bar Sarah and I work at (John used to work there) and all of a sudden they were angry at each other again. John then went to the bar and casually said to the bartender (another good friend also invited to my birthday) that he is glad she had a miscarriage and then went without telling anyone.Sarah stayed with us for a while and eventually she went home too, then at 2 am, I got a message saying that he pushed her down the stairs. I didn't see the message then but when I messaged her the next day she said she overreacted and shouldn't have been standing so close to the stairs and just acted like everything was normal.Now things like this happen every time they go out and I know it will happen that weekend, I just want to have a relaxing weekend of drinks and fun with friends not worrying about when they will fight and having to rush off and comfort Sarah when the fight inevitably breaks out. So WIBTA?Before you crucify me for not talking to her about the relationship, both of them are very difficult volatile people and they see nothing wrong with their relationship and there is no way to get them to see the harm they are doing to each other. Believe me, our group of friends has tried to think of every possible way to speak to them about it",WIBTA For uninviting one of my best friends to my birthday,NTA
10v22qs,"I 27 female and my sister 29 got into a massive argument over something stupid which escalated quickly into us throwing nasty remarks at each other. A background to our relationship is my sister and I are extremely close. We grew up poor so we’ve always shared a room and bed growing up. We know everything about each other. Another important thing about our relationship is my sister is also my biggest bully. Because we’re extremely close my sister uses all my insecurities to make fun of me and make me cry whenever she gets angry at me. She would make fun of me in front of her friends and embarrass me. I was raised to respect and look out for my sister so I was always so forgiving whenever she did bully me.  Recently I’ve learned to stand up for myself. At 27 I finally learnt not to take no shit from nobody, even if it’s family. So when me and my sister got into an argument I wasn’t going to just sit back and take it. During the argument she got real mad at me and said things to me that were uncalled for. She said I was going to die lonely. I have no friends. She kept going on saying no one in the family likes me. That she felt bad for me. She said those things because she knew it would hurt me and would make me cry. It did. I struggle with making friends because I’m awkward. I’m not close with some of my brothers because I feel like they value what you can do for them and I personally don’t bring any value to them. So it hurt when she said that and I just had enough. I just had enough of her saying nasty things to me over and over again so I blew up. I made fun of her ex’s leaving her. I made fun of her bulimia. I made fun of how she couldn’t get pregnant. I know I went low but I felt like she needed a taste of her own medicine. So I said those things. She went home and within 10 minutes she apologised. I apologised back. She told me she drove home crying. Tbh I don’t feel bad. The countless times she made me cry and made fun of me for it. It took her being hurt to finally realise just how badly she hurts me. I don’t feel sorry. Did I take it to far?",AITA for making fun of my sister’s pregnancy?,ESH
10u5pre,"So my wife (42f) ran into an old friend (male) a few weeks back during one of her three-hour shopping runs to a local store. She mentioned it in passing to me and I didn’t think much of it.Fast forward to Wednesday when I wake up and my wife is a little panicky and asking if we can buy a taser locally. I ask what going on and she tells me she has been communicating with that old friend and that he got bizarre on her - telling her they were meant to be together and that her deceased sister is talking to him. Sounds pretty weird, so I ask if I can read his messages.“No! I deleted them because they were silly.”Ok, not was I was expecting. We go to the store and get her some pepper spray and she even buys a bottle for home. Later that night, she tells me that she got him to go away by telling him that she was pregnant. He said he would give her space - again weird. Now I am reliving the day and rushing to get protection from weirdos and wondering why she would be so satisfied when she was scared earlier. She had told me his name earlier, but I have memory issues from some brain damage and I forgot. I asked for it again so at least I had it in case something happened. She refused. She tells me that she doesn’t want me to embarrass him any more than he already is. I swear I won’t even contact him but feel like it would be safer to know in case something did happen. She refuses. We go back and forth but she won’t do it.So here we are a few days later and she still refuses to tell me. She’s mad at me for saying I was having trust issues over this and that it felt like she was hiding something. We’ve been married for eight years. I know if I were in her shoes, I would be telling everyone I know about what is happening. I don’t think she’s told anyone but me. Am I being paranoid?Edit: Thank you everyone for your responses. It is a weird situation and I am not sure what I should do. The comments from women that have been stalked is incredibly compelling to me. It actually helps explain a lot. I do want to add a couple of notes to clarify some things. I should have given more clarity to the wackiness of the messages she told me she received. Aside from believing they were destined to be together, he told my wife that her dead sister (she died at five days old) was also talking to him and telling him it was meant to be. About my TBI, it is actually an ABI as I had a brain aneurysm burst five years ago. I wouldn’t be alive today if not for my wife who performed CPR on me and saved my life. My temper was impacted so it is much shorter than it use to be. Basically it made me much more grumpy. I have thrown things (never at people) but maybe once or twice a year. I wouldn’t be violent at all with this guy unless he was in front of us directly threatening my family. I have no desire to hunt him down and talk to him at all.  The aneurysm also put me on disability before my 50s and slashed our income to a quarter of what it once was. Needless to say, it has added a ton of stress to our lives. We have two adult children and five at home. The pregnancy excuse wasn’t odd to me for that reason. She wants to get pregnant again. Finally it was being petty mentioning how long she was at the store, but yes this is pretty normal for her. It can be irritating when you have five kids at home when you have chronic headaches and the mom takes her time at the store.",AITA for wanting to know more about a man the frightened my wife,NTA
10u95zt,"I (38M) have a sister (36F). We're pretty close and love each other to bits. She has two kids with a man who didn't want any. Both times she got pregnant he told her that if she didn't abort he would leave her. He has stepped up and has taken responsibilities though, but whenever things go south he accused her of making his life miserable and that he didn't want any of it. That's for background.I've been able to save some money and when I saw house's prices going down where they lived and a flat that had a very good price and was perfect for a family of four, I told her I would give her all my savings so adding her own savings she could have enough money to ask for a mortgage.I had just one condition. The house has to be in her name. I wanted to help provide stability to my niece and nephew so if they (my sister and bf) break up, there would be no doubts about the house ownership since she would be the one who would keep the kids. I have had very bad experiences with shared mortgage from friends and familiars with a lot of problems and hate in the process, so I didn't want any of it for my sister nor her kids. How I see things, everything's going to be for the kids at the end so we'll be providing for them.Here comes the tricky part. Even if the month mortgage is less than what they're paying for rent at the moment she won't be able to pay all of it (plus the shared costs of living and two kids) with her salary, so he would have to pay something to her for living there.Here is when things went very wrong.He said if he had to pay for part of the house he had to get part of the house and what we were asking from him was unfair and I was being an as***le because it meant I didn't trust their relationship.I said he was ok to pay a total stranger for the rent but not her girlfriend and that it wasn't me the one who have to have faith in them but themselves. If he really thought they were good together, he shouldn't be worried about having a house because he would be living with his family (and saving money for himself).My sister is kinda sad  because they are now fighting and some of her friends agree with her bf's opinion.I feel like an a***ole for putting her in this predicament even if my intentions were good.I'm not rich, I have a family too with two small kids, so those savings were very important to me too.I think I'm the AH for stepping in on how they do things, but not for my request. Am I?Edit: I've read all your opinions and... Yeah, I've been quite naive about the whole scene and created a new problem when there were enough already. I'm going to apologize to him so at least my sister is not taking the brunt of it. I should apologize to her too... I'm going to look into buying a house for myself as some of you have suggested so I'll be making good use of the money and if something happens we can provide for my sister and her kids.",AITA for putting one big condition if I lend my sister money for buying a house,NTA
10v3j67,"Long story short, whenever I make a ""big"" breakfast for myself I ask around to see if people want to have some pancakes or whatever I'm making and usually everybody gladly accepts. It's just the kind of roommate culture I like plus I enjoy cooking. I rarely get offered anything, usually my two roommates just make their own food when everyone's home. Now, for once, my roommates are having a brunch with a friend of theirs I know too. I wake up after it's all done and they're just starting to eat. Now if I analogize the situations, I would definitely have invited myself to sit and eat (there was enough food), with having been on the receiving end for so often, plus I also know the friend (were all the same age, all studying together...). So after I said hi good morning and had been to the bath I kind of try to prod by asking if there's going to be any leftovers maybe. Which just got me an embarrassed ""yeeah probably, were never going to eat all this"" with a chuckle. It's been half a week since I made these 3 people waffles and coffee...Basically, although I'm not super close with any of these 3 I have invited them for food a few times but nobody seems to want to reciprocate. Is it time to stop being friendly?",AITA for never making food for my roommates again?,NTA
10uxsfw,"My friend (M21) is staying at my (F20) one bedroom apartment because he was kicked out of our college dorms. Not only was he kicked out of his dorm, but he explained that the college has confiscated his phone and they’re running an investigation to see if they find evidence of what he has been accused of. Because of the nature of the allegations, he claims that our college told him that they cannot house him with other students.  They kicked him out on a Saturday at 1am and put him in a hotel for the single night. He used another device to reach out to me and I did all I could to help. I payed his Uber to work that morning, and walked back afterwards to pack his essentials and take those to my place. I housed him, cleaned after him, fed him breakfast and dinner for a whole week, during which my parents came to visit by the way, and I had to tell them I couldn’t receive them because I was helping a friend. My dad was pissed off that he couldn’t stay at his own apartment and spend time with his only daughter. He was forced to book a hotel, because 4 people simply don’t fit. Anyway, I noticed that my friend was not looking for anywhere else to stay, and when I ask for updates he keeps saying that he hasn’t heard anything. I am baffled as to why he isn’t actively fighting to get his phone back! And it makes no sense to me shouldn’t the school need a warrant?! Plus my brother is supposed to be visiting next week. And I am not making my brother pay for a hotel and I am NOT sharing a single bathroom with 2 dudes. My boyfriend isn’t happy about my male friend taking over my couch. My dad is pissed off. I have anxiety and I didn’t know what to do! So I told him to find a place within 6 days because I cannot house him another week! He doesn’t help with cleaning or grocery shopping. When I told him that he needed to leave, he got all quiet and hasn’t spoken to me since. It’s hella awkward in my tiny apartment help!!!",AITA for leaving my friend in the streets?,NTA
10v3ixm,"So, my dad was in a bad mood and my mum went running so we were put in charge of dinner. The way to make dinner also infuriated dad. My sister had to do the bins but the bags all broke at the bottom. So my dad, (in a bad mood mind you) shook my sister (15). I explained to him that the bags were broken but my sister was crying and I felt shitty that I couldn't defend her while she was being shaken.So my mum gets home. In a way to possibly make my sister feel better, I told mum that dad got angry at my sister (Maybe my mum would comfort my sister). My dad overheard and now I can't be dropped of at the bus stop or be picked up at one. My dad's reasoning? ""because fuck you.""  Also, I defended my dad while I was explaining what happened to mum, there was no massive argument, he was just in a bad mood and petty.",AITA for telling my mum what my dad did?,NTA
10uwl8m,"Just to preface this, this is actually about my sister’s situation (F20). So she’s living with 3 roommates in a house in their 3rd year of uni. There is only 3 bedrooms, so they turned their “loft” area into a bedroom. It’s not ideal, but it worked for my sister. The only problem is that the laundry room is in my sisters area. My sister doesn’t mind people coming in to do their laundry obviously, though she asks that she be home (because she’s previously had her medication go missing, which she has reasonable suspicion was her roommate who misuses his own meds, which happen to be the same). But they go in at night when she’s sleeping sometimes, and this makes my sister really uncomfortable. She’s been trying to set boundaries, and it’s getting really frustrating for her because her roommates keep going in at night. I told her that if it happens again she should be really firm with it, and actually have a sit down discussion with all of them. I believe that she’s in the right here since they all agreed from the beginning that this was her private space. Also i would be creeped out if someone walked through my room at night. But I just wanted to post on here to see if this seems asshole-ish I guess, since obviously I’m on her side since she’s my sister and I haven’t talked directly to any of her roommates about it.",AITA for being upset when my roommates come into my room at night to do their laundry?,NTA
10v17sd,"Context: Me and my girlfriend have been living with my mom for 2 weeks now, we also have a 1 yr old daughter with us.We used to have our own house but sold it and moved back to our hometown and are staying with my mom for a while.Yesterday we had my daughter’s birthday party, My mom came to the party later and decides to take a seat with my aunt & my cousin’s girlfriend. She stays there the whole party.As the party continued my mom asked to take pictures with my daughter, my gf gave her the baby to hold. She then said: you know that if you leave her with me she’s going to cry. My girlfriend was handling everything of the party at that time and was pretty stressed but still took the time to take pictures.Now as of today, my mom is mad at my gf.Saying she didn’t feel as she was part of the party and that she felt like a stranger because my gf didn’t take her to get to know my gfs side of the family.She’s also mad at my daughter’s godmother and said she doesn’t like her attitude (the godmother never spoke to her) only said goodnight once.She doesn’t want the godmother around and doesn’t accept her in her house. The godmother asked to go pee and brung me a can of coke inside the house and my mom went on a rant about how we have to respect her and that the godmother is doing stuff like this on “purpose” to get her mad.So i told my mom that we respect her house and wont have the godmother over anymore but she has no right to be mad about her not being introduced properly because the time was simply not right and my gf was stressing about the party.Mom is now mad at me too & doesn’t treat us the same anymore because she thinks there is a hidden reason why my gf didn’t introduce her.AITA?",AITA for telling my mom it’s not all about her?,INFO
10uzgh3,"Sorry for any mistakes.My ex-wife and I had a child when we were married, who is around 9. My ex and I have 50/50 custody, although she usually gets him for weekends. Recently, I bought a new car, a convertible. A convertible was always my dream car, dating back to even when I was a kid. Anyways, when I go to pick up my son, she sees my new car, and I thought everything was fine, until I woke up in the morning to a huge amount of texts. She says that she will not have her son riding in a convertible when he is only 9 years old. She says that he is too young, but I disagree. While I do not think he is capable of a lot of adult things at 9, I think he can handle riding in a convertible. Anyways, she demands I buy a new car, WITH a roof. Instead, I offered to get a convertible top (mine didn't come with one), and she declined saying it was too unstable. I can't afford multiple cars, so I have to choose. Eventually I decided not to get a new car, because I trust my son, and that he won't fall out of the car. A couple weeks pass, and it is time to pick up my son again. My ex meets me on the porch and says she will not let me drive off with her son in ""that deathtrap"". I won't take legal action, but after a few minutes of arguing I mentioned that this was against our custody agreement and she got really mad. I ended up having to leave, so when I got home I asked my friends and family if I was wrong. It was pretty even, so I have come to you guys. AITA for refusing to get a different car?",AITA for refusing to get a different car?,NTA
10uokhg,"I (24F) live in a townhouse that is divided into four separate apartments, and all of the townhouses are managed by our leasing office. One of my old roommates, who I am very good friends with, lives two doors over from me, and she has been telling me repeatedly that her downstairs neighbors have been throwing parties almost every night and blaring loud music into the early hours of the morning. I, too, can hear them clear as day. My friend has called the local police multiple times, and each time the cops were dismayed that our leasing office hasn't done anything about it, even though friend and I have sent them multiple sound recordings and videos of them aggressively partying. It even says in the lease that quiet hours exist from 10pm-8am on weekdays and 12-8am on weekends, for Christ's sake!Each time we'd go to the leasing office our property manager would tell us to just mind our own business, as part of living in an apartment means dealing with noise. We found out later that one of the partiers actually \*works\* in the leasing office, and her friends are always hanging out with the office staff (insert eyeroll). So one night it god bad enough that friend and I got some of our other friends on the property to send our manager emails about it, and lo and behold, it worked! Well actually....not like we initially thought :(​Manager replied to our emails that she is going to send them one last warning. Then after that, if they continue, a fine. A third strike would be needed before an eviction could happen to them. We were so fed up with this lack of action, my friend and I went to the office and insisted she just fine them already, and no more courtesies because this has been going on for way too long (I am a phd student and friend is working full time while getting her master's). Manager then says sorry, but all she can do now is send a warning because that is what the company will allow. I told her that is ridiculous, and she needs to stop being their friend and start doing her job because the rest of us are paying customers with major responsibilities, and it's not fair to us that they keep getting a free pass for their noise. AITA for how I responded?",AITA for telling my apartment's property manager that she needs to do better at her job?,NTA
10uyde4,"I’m a single parent but my daughter goes to her dads every other weekend from Friday 7pm to Sunday 11am. This weekend she went like normal and yesterday she saw her auntie who loves her very much and our relationship as my daughters family is neutral. I mention this because I feel like auntie could’ve texted me to ask if I was OK with her receiving two massive sized trash bags full of Squishmallows and 2 body sized ones. Like… my kid is 6 and of course she loves them and I’m down for her to have a few, but she went from 0 to 26 in one day. And I have a tiny house. Idk where to store them and I don’t rly want to see piles of plushies around the house. I texted her dad saying I felt overwhelmed that I didn’t expect all these toys and wished auntie had asked if I was cool with it. He says he’ll make my daughter give them all away but that’s not the point. They’re hers now and I’m not gonna force her to get rid of them, but am I the asshole for being upset?",AITA because I am upset that my child came home with almost 30 new toys?,NTA
10ujb68," I(16f) live with my mom, I pay my own phone bill, I bought my phone on my own without the help of my mom. Recently my mom didn't pay her own phone bill and has been bothering me to use mine. I don't have much of a problem if she needs to make a call, send a text, or use my mobile Hotspot to log in and do her daily stuff on her games. My issue is that I told her that the plan I pay for only let's me use 10 gigs of Hotspot data beforei have to pay more, and i need to use it for school work that I have to do on my laptop since we don't have wifi, so she can't constantly be using it. She has recently started getting mad at me when I turn it off because she's just watching videos on Facebook, telling me that I have no right to cut her off like that. She gets mad and yells at me if I move too far away, to the point she makes me sit in the living room with her so she stays connected. I'm so tired of not being able to use my phone becuse of how much she uses my hotspot.  I snapped today and told her that she's not entitled to my Hotspot, and if the Facebook videos she's watching are so important then she should've spent her money on her phone bill instead of weed and cigarettes.  At this point she has my siblings on her side and they're saying that I overreacted, I think I might have been in the wrong, but I'm still not very sure. I feel like maybe I was a little harsh in the way I handled it, so AITA?(Edited for formatting)",AITA for telling my mom that she's not entitled to my mobile hotspot?,NTA
10v64h7,"My wife and I recently had our first baby, and she's 3 months old now.A few weeks ago my family was hit with a massive, massive tragedy. I'm still struggling to come to terms with it. I wanted to travel to the funeral, but my wife didn't want to come with the baby. She didn't want me to go either and said I should be spending the time with her and our daughter, and once she's a little older we can all go to visit my family. I tried to explain this is important for me, but she wouldn't hear it. Mind you I was planning to go for less than 3 days - left the night before the funeral and flew back the morning after. I went last week and during this time my SIL came and stayed with my wife.My wife is mad at me and said it was selfish of me to go, and my priority should be them right now.I really don't think I did anything wrong here but my wife and even my SIL said what I did was completely wrong. Here for opinions because I guess we're all biased one way or another.",AITA for leaving my wife and infant to attend a funeral?,NTA
10uz6aw,"On mobile.I'm a woman in my late 30s. I have some kids. My neighbors are also late 30s, M/F, with kids the same ages.My back property line borders houses in a neighborhood that is accessible if you hop in the car, drive down the highway and make a turn into the next neighborhood. Or, you can just walk through my property to get to the other neighborhood. (Mine is the only ungated property that backs up to this neighborhood.) My property is about an acre. It's rectangular with the short side facing the street, so walking from the street to the back of my property is a bit of a hike. The back half also has lots of trees. I enjoy the privacy of my own little undisturbed woods.These neighbors have friends in the next neighborhood. They have been cutting through my property to get there. They never asked if it was permissible, and they even spray painted some of my trees without asking to mark the path for them and their friends so they don't get lost. They then told other neighbors (in my neighborhood, not the adjacent one) about this awesome shortcut, so I've started getting texts from other people asking to cut through. (""They"" refers to both the kids and parents. The youngest kid, 5 y/o, told me the father is the one who spray painted my trees, but I don't know how reliable this intel is. The 5 y/o is very sweet, btw.)I don't have a good reason to ask them to stop. I simply don't like it. They pass up playing with my kids but are fine to use my property to see their friends. It feels yucky, and I'm sad that my kids are passed over so often, so that may be playing into my feelings here.If they had asked me if they could cut through my property, I would have begrudgingly said yes. However, since they never asked and then spray painted my trees, I want to tell them they are not allowed to cut through my property. While I know they do it, I rarely see it, and other than the spray paint, it doesn't really affect me much. So, reddit, am I a petty unneighborly a-hole, do they suck, do we all kinda suck?",WIBTA for asking kids to keep off my lawn?,NTA
10v4ahl,"Throw away title I didn't know what to say.But me (29f) and a Co worker let's call her Sally for this post  (26f) have become very close friends and we chat a lot on Facebook messenger, we talk about work and things that's happened as well as our own lives and kids. So yesterday I was called into a meeting from higher management about some messages I'd apparently sent another Co worker . But when the messages were read out I realised that the messages were to Sally rather than the Co worker my manger claimed they were to.I went and spoke to Sally to ask her why she was forwarding my messages to another co worker but sally told me that her mum and auntie (her auntie is the manager) got drunk and logged into her Facebook account and proceeded to read all our messages to see what we had been saying.The manager told higher management that I was bitching about her and other members of staff. And the message they read out was the worst one. This is the message they read I've taken names out and replaced them with fakes (***Plus there are a lot of people who won't come because of greg and them lot they've told me....a lot of people have said if they wasn't coming in they would come in.It's their own fault mate they shouldn't be bringing in people who do drugs mate so I've got no sympathy for auntie and them lot.... I do feel bad for your mum and dad tho but not the rest mate honestly.It was getting to the point I didn't really wanna go because of it all too.Also I told dj not to say anything wtf ***)Higher management have said we didn't do anything wrong but I still feel like we are been treat like the ass holes in this situation, the manager is trying to turn people against us when we've done nothing wrong just shared our opinion on the situation to each other in private  So are we the assholes for this?? They logged into someone's private Facebook account and read and screen shotted the messages.Admittedly some messages are bad but they aren't about work and more about people we know. But the manager is trying to get me fired with the message above.Also the manager is now not talking to her niece and trying to turn the family against her",AITA for sharing our opinions in a private message.,NTA
10v48w0,"  This is really dumb and going to be short. I was talking to a friend of friend and in the conversation I said I was a boy mom. Because they were talking about their daughter and I said exactly word for word ""I can't have anymore kids so I guess I was just meant to be a boy mom"" and she started going off on me for it.    She told me it's a red flag that I call myself a boy mom and she feels sorry for my son's because she can already tell I'm shitty parent by saying that. Which has me confused. I don't understand what is wrong with what I said. My friend says she was having a bad day and obviously I'm not the asshole in this situation but I am genuinely confused by her reaction.    So does it make me an asshole for calling myself a boy mom? Is there something I missed about that phrase that makes me an asshole for it?Edit: a few of you have explained the negativity around the phrase and I appreciate that I always assumed that it meant it's literal definition I had never heard it in a way that I assumed was negative or weird after hearing what it is that makes it negative. Looking back I can kind of see that now referring to some of the women I know that call themselves boy moms but I just used it as the literal definition. That said I have a genuine question, she calls herself a girl mom all the time and I don't understand how that's any different or better than referring to myself as a boy mom and can someone please explain it to me. I had complications with my pregnancies so I literally did not care about the gender at all just that they were healthy but I know people do have gender preferences for some reason and I don't judge them for it including the person who judged me for calling myself a boy mom she wanted girls and made that clear during her whole pregnancy which is why I was a little confused on her jumping my ass.",AITA for calling myself a boy mom?,NTA
10v25jh,"Hi, so yesterday my GF's brother had my phone to call my GF as I was driving. He saw a notification which said 'Tinder' and him not ever using tinder though I was on the tinder app. Unbeknownst to him it was actually a notification from r/tinder and he proceeded to tell my gf and then my gf confronted me and went through my entire phone to look for evidence, which there was none. I then received another notification from the Reddit app and noticed the app had the subreddit name where the app name would be and I sussed it out and cleared everything up with my gf. Whilst I understand why the brother did what he did, WIBTA if I decided to reduce his involvement with me and my life as a result of this? I want to clarify this does not mean stop/try stopping him seeing my gf. This only applies to me, I will remove myself from any situation he is involved with if possible. My reason being, me and my gf have been through a lot and I feel I'm at that time in my life where I have little patience for people who interfere and cause problems.",WIBTA Gf brother accused me of cheating after seeing notification from r/tinder,NAH
10uygx6,"Me (19m) have been dating my gf (19f) for 8 months. At the beginning of our relationship it was going amazing, with everything being normal and we were both happy. A few months into our relationship I noticed that she would sometimes compare me to her BIL. I didn’t mind at first until she started to do it way more often, which made me very uncomfortable. She often says that he’s super handsome, and the sweetest person she has ever met. (While saying I should be more like him.) Also every time he is around, she just completely ignores me and plays it off as if she doesn’t hear me when I try to speak to her. I’ve confronted her about how uncomfortable I am with her comparing him to me, but she thinks I’m overreacting and just being an asshole for confronting her about it. AITA?",AITA for being uncomfortable that my gf (19f) is “obsessed” with her BIL (20m)?,NTA
10ullpm,My son (5) loves it when my parents come to visit and they always bring him a special local delicacy. We can't get it where we live and it's quite healthy so I've always been pleased that my son likes it. My parents manage to visit about once a month.My daughter 1 seems to be allergic or intolerant to this delicacy. She is being sick after eating it and after keeping a food diary I realised it was this food. My son has a different food allergy that has been formally diagnosed and has a more serve reaction and this food is banned from the house and if we go to friends or parties we always let them know in advance about the allergy. I suggested to my husband that we ask my parents to stop bringing the food indefinitely until we've had an official medical diagnosis but with my son thus took a year. I know my parents would be fine with it and as they always bring chocolate as well my son wouldn't really notice the difference but not husband says I'm been overly cautious and as we all enjoy it we should have it in the house and just not give it to our toddler. As our toddler likes to eat the food we eat I think it would be safer and easier to just ban the food. My husband has an allergy too but as he knows the risks and is careful we do have this food in the house for me and the kids to eat. So WIBTA for banning the food?,WIBTA for banning a food my child loves?,NTA
10uv3qk,"My (29) boyfriend (30) has let his hair grow indefinitely since pandemic started almost 3 years ago. We have been together for almost 9 years in a nice and respectful relationship. When we met, he had this nice and well-kept appearance, short hair and trimmed beard.When I asked him about the hair length, he said there was not particular reason and that he was trying a new style but I gotta say I am so not into guys with long hair, nothing against them, I just don't find it attractive. I let him know about this but he didn't cared a bit. I have talked to him about how I believe it is important to still try to look attractive to each other (he honestly looks quite haggard since he doesn't even dress it)  as I think this is also part of being in a relationship. However, I will always respect his decision about what he wanted to do about his body. What I fail to understand is that he has being willing to get a haircut but when I bring the topic to the table, he tells me the more I mention it, the less he wants to do it.I recently asked him to get a haircut for my birthday because I would really like to him to look good for me but he got annoyed. He says his hair is one of the aspects of his life he doesn't want to care about, it's some sort of freedom. He also said that I just want him to look exactly the way I want and that I should stop. That the more I insist, the less he wants to do it.I think I could be the asshole here but it is also uncomfortable to find my boyfriend's hair unattractive bc of this. I also said that if he ever found something unattractive of me, he could tell me and we could find a solution. But whenever I approach this topic, he dismisses me.AITA?Edit: for those saying to break up, I would not break up with him over something so trivial as hair. He holds more value to me than his appearance. I have also told him about this, I'm just confused about me overstepping boundaries or him just being dismissive of such a meaningless topic.Edit 2: I think I didn't write this right. I didn't mean that I find my boyfriend unattractive overall, but for some reason, long hair in men is a trait that displeases me deeply. It's just a preference that bugs me enough to even make a post about it lol",AITA for asking my boyfriend to cut his hair for my birthday?,YTA
10uripa,"My (F28) Husband (M29) and I have a baby (F6months). I always get her to sleep in our bed with us as she very rarely self soothes, I then transfer her into her next to me cot. This is at my side of the bed, she often wakes up when I put her down so requires settling. I usually just stroke her face or tap her chest and she’ll go back off easily. Tonight when I put her down she was getting fussy so I started trying to settle her, she wasn’t crying but was whining a little for a few minutes. It’s easier to settle her in the cot then get her back in bed with me and start the whole process again… My Husband said “is it not easier just to put her back in bed with us” to which I said no… he said he’d rather her be in bed with us as she does settle pretty much instantly so he doesn’t have to listen to her and he can get some sleep as he has work in the morning. I’d rather her be in her own cot and not sleep in our bed, I only do this if she is poorly or is really unsettled (she wasn’t). I said it was a dickish thing to say and I didn’t care if he didn’t sleep and he’s not dealing with her… it was around 10:30pm and he gets up at 6:30am for work. He has gone downstairs and is sleeping on the sofa.I should note I get the baby to sleep and put her to bed every single night, I get up with her in the night if she wakes up and I get up with her every morning. He never usually hears her if she wakes through the night or in the morning, he usually works 5-6 days a week. I’m currently on maternity leave, I also suffer with severe insomnia so don’t get much sleep regardless if the baby sleeps or not. AITA?Edit: Baby did sleep in bed with us for the first 6 weeks as she would scream every time we put her in the cot and it was the only way I’d get any sleep at all. We do follow safe sleep guidelines (UK) where it is safe to cosleep as long as these are followed. We do nap in my bed together (only me and baby) this is the best way to get her to settle as she fights sleep terribly as well.",AITA for telling my Husband that I don’t care if he doesn’t get any sleep?,NTA
10v3yma,"Hey all, I'm looking for some advice on a situation with my sister. She's 28 and has always talked about wanting the traditional family life, you know, being a stay-at-home mom and all that. But the thing is, she's always been making choices in her dating life that don't really align with her goals.Now she's met this great guy who wants to support her dreams and take things slow, but the catch is she's planning a trip to go visit an ex before making things official with him. My sister and this new guy have already been on a bunch of dates, and she seems smitten with him. I know the ex means well, but it just seems like a bad idea in light of everything.Here's the thing, I'm considering reaching out to the ex and explaining the situation. I feel like it could protect the future she wants for herself and avoid any resentment down the line. But at the same time, is it wrong for me to intervene like that? I can't bring it up with my sister directly because she might do it out of spite.So what do you guys think? Am I being the asshole if I reach out to the ex? Your thoughts and opinions would be much appreciated. I just can't watch her sabotage herself again.",WIBTA if I intervened in my sisters self-sabotage?,YWBTA
10usju5," This is a long story but I will try to sum it up as much as I can.On Christmas of 2014, my father told my mom he didn't love her anymore after 38 years of marriage. It was a confusing few months after. My dad left the house a month later and stayed with my brother for a little while before leaving entirely. There was a lot of fights and crying and confusion for the next year. My father slowly started withdrawing from my brothers and I. And every time I tried talking to him he'd ignore it. I even sent a 13 page long letter that he claimed never reached him. Finally, after their divorce finalized, he sent an invitation to his wedding to my two oldest brothers and blocked me on facebook in the same week.It has been 7 years since I talked to him (last time being the day before I turned 21) and he never tried to reach out until now. In October he sent a text that basically said ""I got your number from your brother"" and my Grandmother wanted all of her grandchildren at her birthday this year and I needed to go. There was no mention of the 7 years of silence, nothing to indicate that he even acknowledged the amount of time that had passed. I thought about just ignoring it but after thinking about it I sent him a text that said breaking his silence this way was a shitty thing to do and then said he could F\* off.When I didn't get an answer for a while, I figured he wouldn't care. But then I received a message from his new wife calling me an a\*\*hole and waxing poetic about how amazing my father is and if I had wanted to talk to him I could have contacted him at any time. Very soon after, he sent a similar message with a screenshot of my text attached and telling me I was being a child.I blocked the woman's number without a response and then explained in small words that telling someone to come to a birthday party is not the best way to end a 7 year silence as well as a reminder that I had been the last person to contact him before he decided I wasn't worth the effort. I also told him to tell his wife that she should not contact me again (though the sarcasm might have been strong as I reminded him he taught me not to talk to strangers). He sent a very long message that basically called me an a-hole and immature and told me if I was going to therapy I would know that I should be a better person or something. He chastised me for not wanting to talk to his wife and then reminded me how he didn't want negativity in his life and I shouldn't be so rude and reactive. I sent him one last voice message where I told him everything I'd been wishing I could have said 7 years ago but despite cutting him off once and for all but I can't get the words out of my head.I'm not sure if this even makes sense but if I wrote everything that happened I'd be here for a year. Am I the a\*\*hole for telling my dad to f\*\*\* off instead of answering his first text after 7 years of silence?",AITA for telling my father to F Off,NTA
10uyqww,"I was having a rare night out with my wife, our time was limited. My wife walked away to use the bathroom and the guy next to me, pulled out a bottle of salsa, asked me to try it (he had a bowl of self brought chips) and asked my opinion. I said it was good (to be polite, it was ok at best) and he asked me if I wanted to buy an unopened bottle of it for 12 dollars. After a couple attempts of escaping the interaction (my wife had come back at this point) I said, “how bout drop the 1”, implying I’d buy it for 2 dollars. I did not enjoy the salsa. AITA?",AITA for not wanting to buy salsa from a stranger at the bar?,NTA
10uqerq,"4 months ago my (27F) Uncle (52M) was sadly diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. The doctors gave him 9-12 months but he unfortunately passed away 4 weeks ago. 6 months ago my partner (27M) and I booked our dream trip of a lifetime to Japan. We went and on day 2 of the trip uncle passed. My Dad (55M) was extremely close to uncle and demanded I fly back immediately. I did my best to console him from afar via phone but did not fly back due to cost and that we really wanted to have the holiday. They scheduled the funeral for the day after my flight home so I could attend. Our flight ended up being delayed so I arrived on the day of the funeral. I rushed to get the train to my hometown but the train also ended up being delayed and I missed the funeral. I made it to the wake but by the time I got there I had not slept for almost 30 hours and was horrifically jetlagged. I did my best to greet my family and offer condolences but I literally could not keep my eyes open and felt like I was going to fall over or pass out. After about 45 minutes I quietly asked my mum for her car keys and slipped out to take a nap in her car. My dad found me and went ballistic. Extended fam have also been hounding me calling me disrespectful. For context, I was always civil and kind to my uncle but we were not at all close, he was quite the bully to me growing up forever commenting on my weight and appearance (dispite being a healthy weight). When I moved to uni we didn't really speak much and didn't have much of a relationship for almost 10 years. AITA for not flying home / trying harder to make the funeral? I could've got a taxi but again that was extremely expensive and I was a bit strapped for cash after using my money to fund the trip.(Edit for clarification - am based in the UK, traveling 2.5 hours from London to a small rural town. Taxi cost approx £200 compared to £20 train).",AITA for missing my Uncle's funeral and then falling asleep at the wake?,NTA
10uu4u9,"I (39f) and my sister (30f) were at our parent's house for Sunday dinner.  Dinner is over and everyone is just hanging out in the kitchen.  My parents go into the living room to watch the Grammys.   My sister and I, who don't get to see each other often, stay at the kitchen table to chat.  We can see and hear the TV through an opening above the bar into the living room.  We are laughing about the host and how he was standing next to Taylor swift but couldn't find her.  We really weren't being that loud.  My mom makes this loud obnoxiously drawn out ""shush!"" At us.  It triggered me (childhood trauma and all that).  I told my husband and daughter ""it's time to go, we have clearly overstayed our welcome"".  I hugged my sister and walked outt of the house.  My husband and daughter said their goodbyes and we went home.  I texted my sister that she was welcome to come over to my house if she wanted to hang out more or stay at our instead of moms (she lives out of town). Apparently My parents acted like they had no idea why I was upset.  My husband and sister agree my mom was extremely rude and no adult should be that disrespectful to another adult even if they are your child.  I have spent years dealing my mommy issues and setting boundaries so I can't help but wonder if i overreacted and therefore AITA?",AITA for packing up my kid and leaving my parents' house without saying anything?,NTA
10trw4e,"To set the scene here, I am a 55 year old father of four and grandfather of five. The pertinent ones here are my eldest daughter Michelle who is 34, her husband Peter who is 35 & my grandchildren Beth and Sam, who are 12 and 14 respectively. To give some context to the rest of this post, Beth and Sam are adopted and are black, where the rest of the family is white. The problem arose when Michelle and Peter finally saved up enough money to take their dream honeymoon which they couldn't afford when they got married. It was a month-long holiday, during which time Beth and Sam came to stay with me. Beth has beautiful curly hair and lots of it, which she obviously washes and maintains herself, but she's still learning how to do certain styles in it. I asked out of curiosity what kind of style she'd like to know and she showed me some pictures of ladies online with very impressive braids. Now, I've been bald as an egg since I was 40 and the only ""style"" I had before that was a mohawk in my 20s, so elaborate braids are a bit beyond my skillset, but a coworker of mine who is my ""work daughter"" often has her hair done in styles very similar to the ones Beth showed me. I asked her where she gets her hair done and explained it was for my granddaughter, and she told me that it's actually her sister who is a professional braider and put me in touch with her. Took Beth to the sister, she got some very cool braids which have beads on and a cute little heart pattern at the sides and the sister explained all of the upkeep stuff to us and even gave us the friends and family discount which was very nice. Well cut to Michelle's return and she's deeply unhappy about me doing this. Apparently, she has always told Beth no to getting such braiding done because she believes that she's too young for it and also because she says it's expensive and doesn't want Beth to get the idea that it's going to be an all the time thing. I've said that I'm quite happy to pay for her to get it done as often as she likes because of how happy it made her, but Michelle is still taking the huff with me about. Peter is siding with her as he says parents should be consulted about such things. Sam is sticking up for me by saying that it's nice that I'm letting Beth partake in parts of black culture she might miss out on in a white family, which wasn't even really an aspect I'd considered, honestly. I obviously am not happy that my daughter is not happy, but I'm not sure if I really did anything wrong here. Help an old man out?",AITA for changing my granddaughters hair without her parents' permission?,NTA
10v550k,"Background: taking my SO to Europe. She’s always wanted to go and we saved up enough airline points to get us there business class. She asks her parents to join us which I’m ok with, but now she doesn’t want to do business class because we don’t have enough points to cover everyone’s tickets. Am I wrong for wanting to use our points to enjoy business class flights while leaving her parents in economy? Her parents will be paying for their own flight and hotel stays. My gf and I will be paying for most activities in Europe for everyone.","AITA for wanting to fly business class with SO, and leave her parents to fly in economy?",NAH
10tzkvs,"My partner is Michael and my stepson is Grant (10yrs)Tonight we had lasagna and salad for dinner. Grant has a portion of lasagna that was as small as his fist,  which is the usual metric we use for his portion sizes to make sure we aren't giving him more than he can handle. He took a few bites of salad and literally 2 bites of lasagna, and then said he was full.Like every kid, we struggle with getting Grant to finish his plate, so over time we've tried a lot of different strategies to get him to eat, or to figure out why he doesn't want to. He's 10, not 2, so he's at an age where he is capable of articulating his feelings, wants, and needs. Sometimes if he doesn't like a food, he will say he is full because he doesn't want to eat the rest. So we asked him if he was really full, or if he didn't like the lasagna. Grant said he was full. We asked if he would like something else, like pizza rolls or a PB&J. Again, he said he was full.He has a tendency to say he is full, then ask for junk food 20 minutes later. So when we took his unfinished plate away, we reminded him that since he didn't finish dinner, he doesn't get to have dessert or junk snacks, but if he is hungry later, we are happy to make him the food options we listed earlier, or have a healthier snack like a granola bar or veggies and dip. And if he finished a healthy snack, then we will consider some dessert type stuff. We don't want to deny him food if he is hungry, but also don't want him to load up on sugar closer to bedtime. We made sure he made eye contact and understood what we were telling him.It gets to be around 8:30pm and Michael and Grant are in the living room playing Xbox together, so I slip away to have a couple bites of ice cream by myself in the kitchen. Well Grant got up and came into the kitchen to grab a snack from his snack station (it has granola bars, little bags of chips, fruit snacks, etc.), and he saw me. Immediately asked if he could have some ice cream and when I reminded him of what we discussed earlier, he burst into tears. Now Michael is saying that I was inconsiderate of Grant's feelings by ""waving the ice cream in his face"" and that I should have taken it into our bedroom so he wouldn't have seen it at all.If I was the AH in this, it would be because I ate dessert when Grant wasn't allowed to have any. But I wasn't blatant about it, and I am an adult who deserves to eat what I want in my house. Grant had a long list of options to choose from if he was still hungry, and he understands that dessert is a reward.",AITA for eating ice cream when my stepson wasn't allowed to have dessert?,NTA
10v3bwh,"I saw someone else post about measurements and I thought this would be a good place to post my own query. I (25F) am taking an costuming and sewing class for a university elective. It’s not in my major, but I want to do well and learn the skill so I can make my own clothes and be crafty.We all have a sew a dress or tunic for ourselves as our current assignment so everyone paired up to help measure. As my project partner is looping the measuring tape around me and making notations, our professor is going on a bit of a rant about how a size 0 isn’t a “real” woman’s body size and being in that measurement range is sick and expecting women to be that size is toxic. Although I agree with the last bit about not expecting everyone to fit the same mold, she was being a bit mean about it imho. My project partner looks up at me from her notes with a look of pity/worry because guess what - those are my measurements. Admittedly, I’ve struggled a bit with an eating disorder years in the past (which I’ve mostly healed in therapy) but now my main issue is nausea due to a chronic illness that makes it hard to eat. I got really self conscious because a lot of the other students were joining in on the professors talk. I do feel sick and weak due to aforementioned reasons, but I didn’t really want it pointed out in front of the class. Here’s the part where I wonder if I was the asshole - I asked my project partner not to turn in my measurement notes. I asked the professor after class if we could just make the dress without going over the notes and got a “hurrmph” noise in response and she told me the answer was likely no and told me to come to office hours. I have work during her office hours so instead I sent her an email saying I didn’t feel comfortable sharing and would rather just work on the project alone with my partner. I also told her I would be missing class the next day due to being sick, which is sort of true since I always feel sick, but was mostly because I was too nervous. She wrote back saying I have a sense of entitlement asking for an exception with no reason and that without a doctors note she wouldn’t believe I was sick - she said she suspected I just didn’t like her and didn’t have respect for the class since it’s not my major and I’m probably goofing off and not taking it seriously. It’s true I come off very standoffish, blunt, and awkward due to having Asperger’s and also she’s right - I don’t like her. I have a hard time masking it even though I’ve never intentionally been rude or disrespectful. I also know my lack of participation could affect my partner. And I did lie about being too sick to come to class. I do not want to disclose my illness or my Asperger’s to her but by not doing that she doesn’t really have a reason to believe differently than she does.*edited for spelling/grammar*",AITA for not wanting to turn in a school assignment about my body measurements?,NTA
10tohfu,"My girlfriend Sarah and I had been discussing taking a road trip for a while due to the stress we had both been under. It was my 9-year-old daughter Emily's weekend with me, so it meant she'd be coming along with usWe decided to make the trip on Emily's weekend with me, and Sarah's yorkie puppy Daisy had to come along. I informed Emily that she had to stay in the car and watch Daisy while Sarah and I made a few stops. Emily seemed to understand and was content playing on her iPad and eating snacks.After a few stops however, Emily started acting strangely. I asked her what was the matter, and she said she was getting bored. I told her sorry hon, but she knew what she was in for for the get-go. We could all do something together later. Emily reluctantly agreed.At one point I stopped at a gas station to buy a drink and Sarah went to use the restroom. When I returned not even 15 minutes later, the back door was wide open and Emily was crying next to the car. Daisy was gone.Emily confessed that she was bored and wanted to get out of the car, and Daisy jumped out. Traffic was too busy for her to run after him. We drove around looking for Daisy with no luck, and Sarah was inconsolable.I was so angry and disappointed with Emily that I couldn't even look at her. I tried to explain to her why what she had done was wrong, but she just kept crying.The road trip was cut short and I dropped Emily back at her mom's house. Emily was really upset but I was still mad and couldn't speak to her. I was too mad to even hug her or say goodbye.Her mom called me ""cruel and conniving,"" but I told her it was awful what Emily had done to Sarah's dog. I felt so helpless. I wanted this weekend to be good for all of us.AITA?",AITA for scolding my daughter for letting the dog run away?,YTA
10v4oav,"At the time of writing this it’s s currently 3:30 am PST, 42° F I (F29) woke up absolutely freezing under 2 blankets. I checked the thermostat and it said “off”. So I know that my fiancé (M35) turned it off while I was sleeping.  (in a separate room which is our gaming room is where he’s currently playing video games and watching TV so it gets quite warm in there). I switched the thermostat back to “on” and the fan to “auto” and went back to bed. Moments later he comes in the bedroom questioning why I put the heat back on; I mentioned to him “I get that it gets warm in the other room, I do, but you have options to cool down, like closing the vent, opening the window or even turning the portable fan on”. He then retorted and said “oh, so the blankets aren’t good enough for you?” (Not picking a fight at 3:30 AM I calmly said “it’s not that they aren’t good enough, I literally woke up freezing!” And he scoffed and went back to the game room, and I back to bed (wondering if AITA). TL;DR: I woke up cold AF to the heat off, while fiancé is warm & toasty while playing video games. I checked the thermostat and it wasn’t even on. He got annoyed that I turned the heat back on and I got annoyed that he turned the heat off.",AITA: To Heat or Not to Heat?,NTA
10v1ubv,"I, 19F am a manager at a fast food restaurant (it is not a McDonald’s or anything) and I work with people who are generally between 17-22, our boss is 20. I have two co workers, Thomas, 18M & Jackory, 17M who I’m in reference to.Today, I worked an 8 hour shift, and jackory, he’s still new (has been here about a month) works the line with me and instead of calling me by my name, he says “yes ma’am” and things like that as if we aren’t in the same age group. I find that to be highly disrespectful for him to address me as “ma’am” as if I’m an elder or a senior and Thomas does the same thing. I asked him why he kept doing that and said “why do you keep saying yes ma’am like I’m old or something?” He apologized, but I caught him doing it again. I have been considering talking to my boss about this and I’m hoping she can have a conversation with him about it. My cousin thinks I’m exaggerating a bit, but I don’t think I am. Am I the asshole?",AITA for telling my co workers to stop disrespecting me?,YTA
10uy4bs,"For context. I call her my sister because I’ve known her since I was 6, she was 5. (Our parents met then and we lived together up until early 2022, they got divorced.) I still consider her my sister and always will because I genuinely love her and besides my mom, she was there for forever in my life. So basically she had been with this really bad guy, he was egotistical, rude, used my sister for sexual things, was manipulative-towards my sister and that’s what I always will believe. (She claims he’s not but that’s for later on.) He actually also was a bully of mine and I had tried warning her about him numerous times before they got together, and said she might have bad luck but also just told her whatever makes her happy. The whole relationship actually happened, he turned out to do bad things as stated above, even manipulating her by pretending to be sad if she didn’t do sexual things w her, and many other gross things. She then broke up with this guy. Spent maybe a month single , and got with this other guy. This new guy was an absolute legend, respectful and caring. He loved my sister and I know he did. He never hurt her, he took her on dates when they could. She talked so highly of him. She was happy. They were awesome together, so I thought it was gonna be my sister finally found what she deserved. She dated him for a little over  5 months, she then decided randomly recently to break up with this good guy and claim that she was somehow still In love with her bad ex, saying he was somehow “respectful.”  This confuses me. Because he wasn’t respectful, nor nearly as good as this other one. I told her this and I said I think her ex manipulated her into feeling bad for him, I said I refuse to believe what she did. I told her I understood her feelings (I don’t) but I told her that she shouldn’t have just hopped back into a relationship literally not even hours after breaking up with the good guy, and she got absolutely mad. She claimed that he’s “changed.” And he’s “better.” She even told me that she didn’t wanna talk to anybody else but the bad guy, and even told me to “just fuck off.” But she just abandoned something so good plus honestly, it’s sad she kept her bad ex around during this good relationship. Note- this was also the good guys first relationship. normally guys would mess up but he never did.  I understand she can do what makes her happy, and she can’t control her love but I truly feel sorry for the good guy. Along with the fact I really don’t know if I should support her decision. I told her just that I didn’t understand why she would go back to such a bad person and the only thing she could say was that she still “loved.” Him.. not even her dad agrees what she did is right? The only reason I really think I’m an asshole is not hearing her out but I really cannot see why she would do what she did.",AITA for giving my sister harsh advice to not go back to her shitty ex??,NTA
10uy28w,"My husband John has been best friends with Victor since they were kids, and they both got engaged in the same month. I’m calling John my fiancé because, even though we’re already married (super small event because of covid), we’re still planning our big wedding party. Victor and Julia just got married yesterday.A few months ago, Victor invited my fiancé to be his best man, but I wasn’t included in the bridal party, which would be expected as protocolar etiquette in our country (the rule: if you invite one to be your bridesmaid and she’s married, you should invite her husband). John was very pissed that his friends didn’t invite me as well, but I was okay with it. I calmed him down, saying that they probably had way too many friends to be included already and they didn’t invite other spouses and wives from friends who were in their bridal party. I didn’t take it personal. So back to yesterday, I was SURPRISED when I saw my fiancé entering the church holding hands with a single woman. I felt so disrespected. All bridesmaids and groomsmen were holding hands. And for me it was weird for two reasons: 1) why didn’t they place my fiancé with one of the bridesmaids who were married and whose husband wasn’t invited to be a groomsman? Why did they play him with a single woman? 2) why on earth did they tell the bridesmaid and groomsmen to hold hands while entering the church? I’m so angry with this situation. A complete lack of consideration. I was okay with my fiancé entering the church accompanying another woman the protocolar way (lady’s hand on man’s arm). But holding hands feels so personal. They looked like a couple! All of our friends commented on how inappropriate that was. And in a few months John and I will get married (again! A big party this time), and we decided we will invite to our bridal crew husbands and wives of bridesmaids and groomsmen who are married. Buuuut I don’t want to invite this couple, because their lack of consideration really disturbed me. I’m very uncomfortable with what happened. However, if John INSISTS on asking vitor to be a groomsman, WIBTA for not inviting Julia to be a bridesmaid?",WIBTA for not inviting my fiancé’s groomsman’s wife to be my bridesmaid?,NTA
10uzdjy,"I (17m) have come into money from a job I won't disclose, and I've basically come to an agreement with my parents to buy a house for them and my sister to live in, in about a year. I'll stay in our current home. When I told my ""best"" friend (18m) about this. He suggested I let him move in for free. I had a decent laugh thinking he wasn't serious and he laughed too but he assured me he was very serious.I put ""best"" in quotations because we were part of a larger friend group that fell apart. My original best friend who I used to trust with my life unfortunately fell victim to alcoholism and many other awful habits despite our best attempts to help him. Nobody from the group has contact with him anymore. This will be important later.I was pretty firm in my rejection of his proposal and I told him its because of his awful living habits. It's not just *some* clothes on the floor... His closet **is** the floor and theres food everywhere its so gross. He was very understanding and I thought that'd be the end of that.I was very wrong. Today he revealed to me that come March, his mother will start charging him $50 a month to live in her house. He has a job but even then I think the rule is very unfair and I feel bad for him. He pleaded with me to let him move in with me for free and even said he'd change his ways. I honestly doubted that but I didn't want to base my decision off my hunch so I texted his girlfriend hes dated for many years and she pretty much reaffirmed my worries saying he might change for a bit but he'll go back to being a slob. If they can live that way, then fine. I just can't.It was hard but I doubled down on rejecting him and he rebutted that if it were my past best friend, I'd let him live with me. And to be completely honest to him, I told him if my past best friend got over all his ailments and became better again then yeah I would let him live with me. My past best friend had amazing hygiene and always kept his whole house clean. He thinks I'm being unfair to assume that he won't change his ways.He's saying im being a total bitch about this situation and honestly while I dont think I am, I'm not 100% sure. AITA?",AITA for telling my best friend he can't move in with me when I get my own house?,NTA
10uqu8l,"About 3 years ago I (25M) moved into a house with some roommates I found online. One of the old tenants who moved out before me left a vintage record player in the living room. This thing is straight out of the 1950s, definitely worth some money. My roommate at the time who used to live with him said he was supposed to stop by and get it. 2 years go by and this dude never showed up. He did text me a few times (got my number through the old roommate) saying he was gonna come by at some point to get it. He never did. Well after 2 years at that house my lease ends. But this dude who left the record player also left a shit ton of stuff in the garage. I ended up being the one who cleaned out all his shit out. It was very frustrating. I ended up taking the record player with me when I moved out. Flash forward another year and now I live with my wife, and we love the record player. We keep it in our living room, we both have grown attached to it. This guy has never met me, but he’s been texting me a ton out of the blue asking if he could stop by and get it. I told him I moved out and I ended up taking it but he has no idea where I live. I’m at a point now where I’m just frustrated with his irresponsibility and want to keep it for myself. AITA if I ghost this guy and keep the record player?Edit: Just want to make it clear that if I didn’t take it when I moved out this thing would have been thrown away by the landlord no doubt, as a whole new group of people were about to move in. I’ve also had a comment recommending I mail it to him and he pays for the postage but this thing is huge, about the size of a clothes dresser.",AITA for not returning a vintage record player to a guy who left it at a house years after his lease ended?,NTA
10tugna,"I used to be close with my brother-in-law but we aren’t anymore due to how he treated my best friend. I don’t hate him or anything but I would prefer he wasn’t staying in my home.When my husband told me he was coming to visit, I made it clear I didn’t want him staying here but my husband wouldn’t budge and said his visit would be shorter if he was here as they could work out what they were going to do about some family assets they were thinking about selling more quickly.Seeing him in my home was irritating me, especially since he’s the type of person who loves making dumb sarcastic jokes constantly. I tried asking my husband to ask him to go stay in a hotel 2 days into his visit but he again wouldn’t budge so I outright told my brother-in-law I didn’t want him here but that still wasn’t enough to make him leave.I finally decided to walk around the house in my underwear because I knew he wouldn’t be able to resist making a stupid comment and it would annoy my husband enough to make him ask his brother to stay in a hotel, which is exactly what happened. After my husband told him to go, my brother-in-law accused me of thinking I was hot stuff who tried to lead my husband around by his dick and made a point to tell me it would backfire if I kept this up. My husband also asked me if I wasn’t going to continue the show during a fight as I stopped doing it once his brother left as my husband often has guests coming and going during the day which made walking around our home in my underwear awkward. He was already upset with me but the fact that I stopped immediately after his brother left seems to have upset him even more.AITA?",AITA for walking around the house in underwear so my husband would ask his brother to stay in a hotel?,ESH
10uz1xd,"For context my dad died on January 18th of 2022 so a little over a year ago. Him and my mom we're still married. She has done quite a few irritating things since he passed but this takes the cake for me. Another important note is her and my dad didn't have a great relationship but this was not due to abuse or cheating. They just weren't happy and stayed married for religious reasons. Well fast forward to about 2 weeks ago... the 16th of January, a couple days before the anniversary of my dads death, my mom calls my sister (20f) and I (24f) and says that she is talking to someone. Even though this wasn't the greatest timing, we accepted that she was ready to move on. She then asked us if we could meet him which we thought was way too soon so we said ""No we'd like to wait but we are happy for you"" and she said okay and that she respected this. Well about 4 days later, on January 20th, she tells us that they're dating officially. Great. Still happy for her. Then... last week.. She calls up and says that they're engaged and keep in mind we have not met this guy nor did he ever reach out to us. Yes, she asked us to meet him but we didn't feel we were ready for that yet because we're at a different stage in mourning then my mom and WE DIDNT KNOW THEY WOULD GET ENGAGED after about 10 days of dating. Their wedding is already planned for June.. Now, I'm opposed to the whole thing and don't trust the guy whatsoever. My sister and I have no desire to meet him at this point and think my mom is making a mistake. I haven't even spoken to my mom since she told us about the engagement. So AITA for not meeting him?",AITA for not meeting my moms fiancé,NTA
10trtrq,"My brother is getting married next month. My fiancée (26 F) and I (27 M) have been together for almost 3 years now. She was the lead singer of a local band in my country. They were famous, successful and at the height of their popularity and had won so many awards when she decided to leave the band because she got tired of the lifestyle and fame. A few days ago my soon-to-be SIL rang me up to tell me not to bring my fiancée with me to her wedding. Her reason was the wedding would be her special day and my fiancée would just take all the attention from SIL since fiancée is famous. I told SIL I understood, but if my fiancée were to be excluded, then I didn't think I should come either. I mean my sisters and other cousins would attend the wedding with their SO/bf/gf, it's so unfair to exclude my fiancée just because she may get recognized.She got upset and accused me of prioritizing a stranger over family. I told her my fiancée is no stranger. We have a serious relationship and are about to get married soon. When I told fiancée this, she looked really heartbroken because she really loves my family and likewise, but said she understood where SIL's coming from. My parents are with me but some of my aunts told me to just attend the wedding alone to keep the peace. WIBTA if I don't attend the wedding?",WIBTA if I don't attend my brother's wedding because his soon-to-be wife told me not to bring my fiancée?,NTA
10v3s2i,"My partner and I dicussed the bridal party and decided we would ask our siblings (I have 3) and he would ask his siblings (he has 2) and his best friend, so we would each have 3. He then asked another friend, saying he didn't realise we were only having 3, and is now telling me he wants to have 5 (1 sibling + 4 friends). I think that's too many for our small wedding (around 50 people) and leaves me in an awkward position - do I have 3 and he has 5, or do I now need to try to choose out of my friends to have 5 and 5. I really didn't want a big bridal party, and I tried to compromise (that he could have 2 friends in his bridal party with his sibling and 2 of them could be ushers, or some of them could do readings etc) but he's adamant that he wants all of them. AITA?Edit: We are trying to keep costs down (I am doing my own make up, my dress is sample sale etc) and as we are paying for suits and need to provide gifts etc there is a sizsable cost in having two additional bridal party members.",AITA - bridal party decisions,NTA
10ug3m8,"So I (23F), am autistic. I currently work as a stripper at a club, and have done so for about 10 months so far. Before you ask, no, working elsewhere or in a different job is not an option ATM.Due to my ASD, I struggle to find and keep good friends, although I've been trying my best, I've only recently made some, one, I'll call her Donna, who has recently taken on a big sister type role towards me and after I've opened up to her about my ASD, she's been very supportive and looking out for me. Also, not many at work know about my ASD. Jane is one of Donnas friends, Ive always wanted to get to know her, but she's very hot and cold with me. One day she'll chat to me, the next she ignores me. I'm not sure why, or if it's something I'm doing, but after talking to Donna about it, she has said she'll help me look out for if there's anything I'm doing that may cause issues so I can be more mindful in the future. I am trying myself, however, I don't always see or understand if I am doing something, and need an outside view to help.All that being said, for the most part, I can mask very well, given those I have told had no idea I was on the spectrum until I told them, even those with experience with ASD, so it's unlikely those I havn't told would know, including Jane.To the issue, the other day Jane and I were chatting during a quiet period and I was talking with her about pole dancing (a common interest). I asked her for some tips on a certain trick since I know she can do it, and I still don't quite have it fully downpat yet. She started saying how she's sick of me always having to be the best, since ""whenever I'm on stage I'm always trying to show off with lots of tricks and prove that I'm so amazing"".I don't talk about pole very often as I get the impression I've upset some other girls because I have learnt a lot quicker than average, as most people take many months or years to get to where I'm at, and I've done it in significantly less time (all safely of course). I'm very lucky I'm naturally good at it, and am very fixated on it, which leads me to practice / train ~15 hrs a week. Which is how I've managed to get where I am so fast.I also know Jane has done pole for a few years now. I never meant or thought I came across as a showoff or anything, but it's clearly causing issues.During this, donna came up and asked what was going on. I was silent in shock and Donna ended up having a go at Jane saying she ""shouldn't take out her jealousy on me, I work hard for what I've got and have earned it"".I'm now getting messages from Jane saying things about how I've manipulated Donna against her and that Donna is her best friend, so to back off, and so on. It's also causing issues, since I have other girls starting to pile on about how I ""show off too much on stage and try too hard"", and saying I should go work elsewhere.So, AITA for upsetting others and maybe showing off?","AITA for ""showing off"" and upsetting coworkers?",NTA
10tmj7r,"Oliver - my cousin - and I are almost the same age and we went to university to study the same thing. The difference was that I started working as an intern halfway through uni and after I got my Bsc, the company offered me a full time position, which I gladly took and didn't go to a master's program. Oliver, unlike me, went to get his master's and started working years after I did.Oliver always made sure to tell my what a mistake I made by not getting an Msc degree. I will always be lower paid than him, no company will give me higher roles, I will get stuck at the bottom of the ladder, etc. He stopped for a little bit after finishing his studies, but recently, he started again stronger than ever. At Christmas, he told me that now that he has both an Msc and 4 years of work experience, he will overtake me so fast. In his company, he will soon apply ( in 1 or 2 years) to a higher role and he *knows* they wouldn't hire a person without a master's degree for that role.That was when I decided to be petty and apply to Oliver's company for said role. I got the offer this week and it's actually even higher paid than I expected it to be. I told Oliver about the offer (without specifying the salary) and he threw a fit.He called me a petty asshole and told me it's insane that I would go to such lengths out of my 'inferiority complex'. Our entire family is on his side and now they treat me like a jealous, mean bully. I mean yes, it *was* petty. But nobody said a word when they heard Oliver tell me during family Christmas dinner that I will always be a nobody stuck at the bottom of the corporate ladder. I only wanted to prove him wrong and it was fun testing myself. AITA?",AITA for applying to my cousin's company just to show him I can get a higher role and pay than he has?,NTA
10uzjoh,"Hubs (m 44) & I (F48) have been on a very strong trivia team along with a regular group of  about 8 people, for almost a year. The team was started by a 55 year old-ish hetero-cis couple a few years ago. They were very welcoming when we started coming to the weekly Thursday night event, they became fast friends of ours. The team members are varied in education,  talents & professions, we consistently win 1st place. Honestly it's the best night of my week, we've only missed two nights this whole time, oftentimes the founding members are not there.  Last May, after a few months of killing it, I started saying we should get team shirts, even drawing designs as we played each week. But lots of things piled onto life & we (as a team) never got very far in the planning process of the shirts, mostly because the founders were gone a lot, Hubs & I were moving into a new house, etc. etc.  After the Holidays I pulled up a website & started to put a design together, sharing screenshots with the whole team in our group text.  The female of the founding couple immediately started criticizing every aspect of the design, color, style. This woman  is a talker, she honestly can't stop talking, its like she has so little in life to talk about, she can’t stand to not have attention, so she just fills the air with blithering about nothing.  Since she was the only one responding to the texts about my shirt design idea, I texted her directly, & she continued to complain & criticize, so I  dropped it & moved on with life, prepping for the  upcoming work week.  I'm a midwife & work has been really busy lately & my off time is very limited.  For professional comparison she recently got a job in a daycare, after not having worked for the last 30+ years of raising 3 kids, her work/life balance is radically different from mine. She continued to blow  up my phone with long multiple texts in a row, like 5 here, 11 there, in a row without me responding. I was blown away by how much she kept pestering me with drawn out, passive aggressive, controlling and manipulative messages,  ignoring my boundaries & requests to drop it. I stopped responding to her. That following work week was ROUGH, rough AF! She texted me during a birth that was super complicated, with a shoulder dystocia & a resuscitation. I really needed to decompress and regather my thoughts professionally, she kept texting, I kept ignoring her. I replied somewhat annoyed and again said I’d rather talk in person about it, if at all. This last Thursday, she texted again, saying she was now mad at me for not responding & ultimately kicked my hubs & I off the team via text as we were walking in to play, saying that I was too hostile. It made me feel like I was in the wrong for just wanting my boundaries respected. She was so passive aggressive & controlling about the shirts, then couldn't respect my boundaries around texting  me relentlessly, but now I'm  wondering if AITA?",AITA for not responding to obsessive texts,ESH
10uri4j,"I’ve lived with my friend Sarah for 1.5 yrs & I do not feel in control in many aspects of my life, and due to trauma in my childhood & past romantic relationships, that scares me. And some things that Sarah says/does triggers that fear response and I shut down. Ex. when she tells me that I’m not allowed any more plants in my room b/c she prefers a more “minimalist aesthetic”. I could understand this if I was decorating the whole apartment but I was confining the 4 or 5 I had to my room.)Or if I had a friend over to hang out in my room and chat without permission (I always tell her when I have a guest but I don’t always “ask permission”) she got upset with me and told me I crossed her boundaries because she doesn’t want people over b/c she’s tired from work/has anxiety. Even though we were just talking quietly in my room- she didn’t have to socialize or engage at all.There’s more, but it’s all similar.I am not mad at Sarah, I know she has her own struggles and I try to be aware of that. But what I have noticed is every time she tells me what to do I shut down. I got rid of all but one of my plants to make her happy, I stopped inviting people over. Etc.But, all of this has me feeling out of control.My therapist suggested that I (firstly) bring up how I’m feeling and address it directly. I failed. Every time I brought it up she’d turn it around and talk about how crowded spaces give her anxiety regardless of if it’s “her” space. Or reiterate that me bringing anyone other than my 2 pre approved friends without permission and weeks of planning triggers her social anxiety. And every time I would shut down and back off.So my therapist suggested that I consider getting a place of my own. Since I make more than I used to I could afford a 1br by myself now. And that it would be beneficial for my healing if I had a space that was 100% mine and I was in total control of, that I wouldn't feel like I had to sacrifice my needs/wants to “keep the peace”.I told Sarah that I was considering getting my own place when our lease is up. Her responses? “If we don’t live together we won’t even be friends anymore because you’ll forget all about me”. “I’ll have to move back into my parents.” To that I offered to help her find a place because at her wage she could at least afford a studio apartment but she responded that she “doesn’t want to live alone because she might ‘hurt’ herself”. She also pointed out that it’s not her fault that I’m a people pleaser so I shouldn’t punish her for it.Since then, things are rough. I get off work first so I make our lunches for the next day then prep dinner so it’s ready when she gets home. Since our talk she has refused to eat any of the food I’ve cooked, makes comments about having to find a new roommate/place that feel very targeted. Etc.",AITA for wanting my own place?,NTA
10v14bm,"Throwaway because bleh. I (M26) used to have a really good relationship with both my parents (M58) (F51). This changed last year when my mother blindsided me by informing me that she had seperated from my father and didnt know why but had to make this decision. I was understandably upset and unsure of what to feel as my parents marriage had always been strong and I'd modelled my relationships on it. The sting in the tail for me is that before the year was out my mother was seeing someone else, and I just can't accept it, it feels like she's torn apart my family unit with no remorse and put a huge amount of stress and strain on my dad, and it really hurts me to see him this way. I've tried to understand her reasoning but she's never really given a solid reason as to why she seperated outside of feeling that she should, and I don't think that's a good enough reason to leave my dad and give him no chance to repair the marriage.I just can't stop resenting her for the decision. I try to stay civil as best I can but I keep ignoring her messages and feel eventually it'll come to a head.So AITA?",AITA for resenting my mother's decision?,YTA
10v3kqe,"My (29F) partner (30M) always go to bed at the same time (it’s a nice ritual). I read and he usually mucks around on his phone for half an hour (no idea how he sleeps so soundly after!). Noise in the bedroom at night really triggers me for some reason, so when he’s flicking through videos on Instagram (even on low volume) or playing a game I get really irritated and it ruins my zen sleepy feeling.  I ask him to put in his AirPods if he’s going to listen to things, but every time I do he spits the dummy a bit, says they’re in the other room and he can’t be bothered getting them, turns off his phone and rolls over in a huff.  I feel bad for asking, but it seems like a simple solution to me.AITA for affecting HIS nightly ritual?Edit: to clarify, I’m reading while he is on his phone. We usually turn off the light at the same time, so he never disturbs my sleep, just my reading quiet time.",AITA for asking partner to wear AirPods if watching videos in bed?,NTA
10tmag5,"I(28F) am a foster kid. Long story short: dad drug dealer, mom drug addict, mom died and dad went to jail for life, no family to take me on, bounced in the the system from the ages of 7 to 18. Then I became homeless, worked as an escort, went to college and this is currently my second corporate job. Like you might imagine, I do not like to talk about my personal life. Even more so because of my first corporate job, where I was the last to be given time off during holidays or summer, because I was a single woman without children.When I started at my current job, I made the decision that I was not going to get to know anyone. Colleagues will stay just that, colleagues. So I arrive at my desk at 08:45, I'm out the door at 5, I take my lunch break outside the office, don't take my breaks with the other, refuse all invites to things outside work ..My new colleagues got the hint when I just said ""no thank you"" when they would invite me, when I opted out of the secret sant even though it was obvious that I celebrated, and when instead of going to a colleague's wedding, I RSVPd no, then sent a gift. They leave me alone, I leave them alone, but we are friendly and am happy to lend a hand when needed.Then this woman started with us almost 3 months ago. She is very outgoing and social, made friends with the whole office within the first week, and seems to take it as a personal challenge that I do not talk about my personal life.At first, I was direct but polite, I told her ""hey colleague, I appreciate that you want to get to know me, but I am an extremely private person, and do not like to mix my professional and personal life together."" After taking her aside away from others.Well, instead of backing off, she doubled her efforts. And it's not in a creepy way, or a way that would allow me to go to HR, but I do not like it.Finally fed up with her, instead of trying to redirect the conversation, or changing the subject, I just stare at her -dead in the eye- without saying anything. Yesterday she came by my desk, and asked if I had plans this weekend, I said yes I do, but didn't elaborate. Then she asked me what my plans were, and if I had someone special that I was going to spend my time with. So I just started her dead in the eye and said nothing for minutes. At first she was annoyed, then she started rambling, then she turned red and left in a hurry.Another colleague sitting close by gave me this disappointed look and told me that they understood I was a private person, but that that was no way to treat someone who was genuinely friendly, someone who was trying to include me in the social life of the office.So AITA?Edit: so this blew up, I posted it and didn't get back, thought maybe I would get max 100 replies since this is almost drama free. So thank you to everyone who replied.Anyways, I read most of the replies, and here's some answers to FAQs:I am friendly to coworkers, I make small talk, I'm not just sitting in a corner hissing at people when they say hello to me.For the last 3 months I have done everything I could think of to stop her nosiness: redirected the conversation, changed the subject, asked about her instead, tried saying I was busy so she could leave me alone... Nothing worked. That's why I chose this method.Most people said this is HR worthy, so I think I will be having a casual conversation with our HR rep tomorrow.Some people said me refusing to talk can hinder my career, like I said above I am friendly and do talk with my coworkers, I just refuse to talk about anything beyond what could be considered small talk, and I don't have a personal relationship with any of them outside working hours. So I don't think it will be a problem. I will just be that mysterious coworkers that has been there for 30 years, and no one knows anything about.",AITA for the way I respond to my new co-worker's personal questions?,NTA
10v3je8,"Context is really important.  Me (35F) and my wife (33F) have been together for 6 years and married for 3. When we first met I was fairly established in my career and she had was an impoverished med student completing her final year. I'm financially responsibly, maybe a little frugal, but I love splurging from time to time. My wife, especially she we first met had a habit of living well outside her means. Designer clothes, fancy restaurants and a mountain of debt. Most of the financial security we have now is due to my financial planning/investments/ savings. My wife has honestly improved her spending habits, she's not perfect, but she's come a long way. BUT she does have the habit of getting carried away. Especially when it comes to gift giving. She spends $1000s on things I don't want or need. I suspect she also does it so she feels less guilty on spending $1000s on herself. She's incredibly loving and generous and gift giving is her love language (actions are mine). A few years ago it was mildly annoying/largely endearing, but now we have a hefty mortgage,  a baby daughter, I'm working part time only and we're planning IVF for our 2nd child this year. Our finances are ok, but things are a little tight and we've cut back on a lot of little luxuries. My wife is away for work and my anniversary gift arrived today. It is a $3500 coffee machine. This absurd given our financial circumstance. Also we agreed to a $500 budget. I'm pretty annoyed as it feels disrespectful given our conversations about money recently. It makes me think of all the little luxuries I've given up to save money, and for her to so causally spend our savings is making me furious. I've had many conversations with her in the past about this exact behaviour, but she's usually so sweet and upset when I want to return something, I end up keeping things I don't want or need. I really want to return the coffee machine tomorrow to make it absolutely clear I don't want this gift.  To be clear, we have an excellent, loving and supportive marriage. Even in my annoyance I know my wife just wanted me to have the very best coffee machine and there was no malice intended. But equally she should know this is not what I want. I just don't want to have the same conversation about returning this gift and then backing down again. Would it be childish of me to return it without telling her? (BTW, please don't suggest I leave her or she leave me. That's really not helpful or relevant advice here! )",WIBTA of I returned the gift my wife bought me without telling her,NTA
10v25be,"AITA for telling my (50f) stepson’s current gf of 3 years about his ex wanting to have a paternity test. Backstory is that in 2018 my stepson (currently 29m) believed he was having a child with a woman who later claimed the child was not his (his current gf knows about that whole situation). Fast forward to last Monday and stepson comes to me in confidence and tells me “the woman is requesting a paternity test, saying she’s sure it’s mine and that it’s killing her that the child would not know their father.” He wanted to tell his current gf but I persuaded him not to while also telling him not to tell his father until the paternity test was done as to avoid any unnecessary drama in case the child was not his. Well yesterday my stepson and my husband get into an argument and stepson leaves the house, I try talking to him but nothing is getting through eventually I call my other stepson and he gives me the current gfs phone number I’m thinking maybe she can talk to him. While talking to the current gf I tell her about the ex coming and asking for a DNA test and I tell her please don’t be upset and do not tell my step son I told you. Eventually she has him tell her everything and he is beyond pissed off telling me “I came to you in confidence for advice and told you I wanted to tell her and you told me not to tell anyone but then you go ahead and tell.” My husband says I betrayed my stepson and stepson won’t even talk to me. The gf says I did the right thing and I didn’t think it would blow up he hasn’t cheated and it was a woman he dealt with years before meeting current gf. AITA here for telling",AITA for telling stepson’s current gf his ex wants a DNA test on her (ex) child l.,YTA
10v253f,"My(20f) bf(19m) is the loudest eater and drinker i know. ironically loud eating has always been a major pet peeve of mine. he chews with his mouth open and he literally gulps and chugs everything he drinks. i’ve tried to politely talk to him about it, but most of the time he just throws a huge fit about it saying he can’t help it. i won’t lie, after so many times of trying to talk to him about it i’m starting to grow resentment. i feel really guilty about it every time i’m mean about it, but he’s never even attempted to stop. he takes huge bites and gulps like he’s starving and honestly its disgusting. i let it slide 80% of the time but, it’s so hard when i’m sitting far away from him, or i have headphones in and i can still hear him. i’ve really tried to have nice and civil conversations with him about it but the last time i did he literally threw his food away and refused to eat. he always says i’m an asshole, because it’s normal because his best friend and mom eats the same way. so AITA?",AITA for commenting on the way my bf eats?,NTA
10uyfjw,"I (17F) have a younger sister (13) who is starting to concern me with her eating habits and complaints about her health. For the past month, she’s been sick on and off with a cold, cough, and allergies that gets better for a few days and then all of a sudden she gets sick again. Also, any time we go out somewhere (mall, grocery shopping, etc) she complains of a headache and being super tired when we get home, even if we only went out for an hour or two. She also sleeps for a good amount at night but is super sluggish and tired during the day and says she needs a nap. At first, I thought that maybe she went to bed late and that’s why she was so tired but our rooms are right next to each other and she goes to sleep way earlier than me. I have been concerned about these things for a while but I assumed the headaches and sleepiness could be just due to puberty and the physical changes a regular 13 yr old goes through.For the past week, I’ve noticed that she is always skipping dinner by saying she is full or not eating much. I wouldn’t be too concerned with this if she was eating big and nutritious lunches but she’s not. She’ll eat a huge bowl of sugary cereal in the morning and something random like ramen, sandwich, instant pasta for lunch and when it’s time for dinner she claims she’s full. I don’t believe that at all because none of that is enough for her to be full since she’s 5’8 and 180lbs and it was never enough for her before. She’s struggled with her weight for years now (chubby since she was a toddler) and it’s something that my dad is always getting into her about and is something she’s always told me hurts her. I’m concerned that she’s restricting her food intake by skipping dinner and approached her about it today. I told her what I noticed and that I felt it was the cause of all her painful symptoms but I was met with her being defensive and annoyed at me. I dropped the topic with her but later approached my mom about it (which is where i might be the AH). I wanted to make my mom aware about it in case she noticed it too because I didn’t want it to worsen her health issues or cause an ED. My mom immediately started lecturing my sister and my sister got annoyed which makes me feel like I was an AH and made the situation worse. I did manage to get my mom off her back and tried to talk to my sister alone and explain that I was just worried for her health and that I wanted us to work on fixing our diets and eating better together (since my diet is also shit). She got pissed off and told me to shut up which made me snap at her and tell her I was just trying to help her. I felt that I was doing the right thing in being concerned but her and my mom’s reactions are making me second-guess myself. Maybe I was being a hypocrite since my diet isn’t much better, or maybe I should’ve tried a different approach? AITA here?",AITA for being concerned about my sister’s diet?,NTA
10uutc5,"My bf is very bad at gift giving, despite him claiming his love language is receiving gifts. It seems he loves receiving them but not good at giving them at all.First year, I gave him a huge gift he wanted (I had doubts about this bc my friend reminded me that it's too big too early in the rs but he kinda sulked and said that's the only thing he wants and I can gift him anything if I don't gift him this), and he gave me a $20 game. Price difference was $500 to $20, at a time when my income was half his. I kicked a fuss over it, especially bc he asked for the gift, and he ended up gifting me another while complaining that I only want expensive gifts. That remark left a bad taste in my mouth, bc how dare he say that considering what he got. What he gave me in the end was still half the cost of what I got him, and I would have been happy with it anyway had he not added his remark in.Learning from the prev experience, the next year we set a price point. Our gifts to each other was good and pretty equal. This year the relationship was getting much better and we had a great time in general.Last year he was running out of clothes bc he had a major weight gain. I gave him several clothes, $200 worth. When my birthday came I told him I wanted something that was half the price of what I got him. He said that what I wanted is too impractical, so he gifted me an ice cream cake that was so bad no one in my family wanted to eat it. I forced myself to eat half the cake and when I couldn't anymore, I had to throw away the rest. When he asked how the cake was, I told him that it wasn't good. He said sorry the cake he gave was bad.His birthday is approaching. Honestly I just think he's super bad at gift giving in general. I want to take the resentment away from this relationship when it comes to gifts. WIBTA if I just don't give him a birthday gift this year?",WIBTA if I don't give my boyfriend a birthday gift this year?,NTA
10v5osb,"I (25F) moved to a new city 6 months ago. I did not plan ahead for things like banks, doctors or mechanics. I normally use a chain to get any issues with my car fixed but there is not one here. My car is now inoperable and I need a new alternator (and now because of the wait probably a battery)I asked around for recommendations last Wednesday and one of my coworkers had a friend that is basically a mobile mechanic which was the most convenient since my car was dead. (He used to have a shop but a recent hurricane destroyed it.) I decided to have that guy come out and he did a diagnostic. From the start communication was not his strong suit. He eventually gave me a quote which I approved on Friday. It took him from Wednesday to Friday to get the quote to me. Then on Friday evening he messaged me that he is picking the part up Saturday morning and should be at my place by 9/10am the latest. “Unless something unexpected happens”. Well Saturday 9/10 comes and I don’t hear from him. I messaged at Noon asking if something happened. No response. I message again at 5pm because I need my car that if he can’t do it I need to go somewhere else. He responded in 10 minutes that he picked up my part and got sick and then went home. But he did NOT communicate that to me. I ask if he thinks he will feel better on Sunday and would do the work. He did not reply. I then messaged him yesterday at 11am asking for an update and at this point on Monday. I still have not received any communication. I’m the most pissed about the lack of communication. If he would have messaged me Saturday “I got the part but I’m really not feeling well sorry” or a message like that on Sunday id be a little more understanding. But now I haven’t had my car for almost a week and I’m planning to take it to a shop today which I will have to call a tow truck and still have to wait a few days. He already got the part and if he is sick I do feel bad. AITA?",AITA for expecting a mechanic to communicate with me? WIBTA if I canceled after I agreed to labor and parts?,NTA
10uwwv5,"I (19M) go to a college really far away from home and last semester I took a leave of absence to treat my depression. Recently, my mom (50F) has been using Life360 several times a day to find my location. Everywhere I go, my mom would text me asking me where I was going or what I was doing. And she would always try to control me by telling me what to do. I can’t just ignore her because she will call me constantly and relentlessly until I pick up. For instance, last night I wanted to go to a party. She tracked me down and wrote an essay long text against me going. But it wasn’t just college. One day, I was out with my friend for a few hours and out of nowhere she texted me calling my friend a “bitch” and for me to come home. She has never allowed me to have friends and this is the first time I have ever hanged out with someone. I am 19 years old. For an hour straight, she called me non-stop and I did not pick up because I was angry at her.  And what scares me is how she would send obsessive texts to me. Here’s an example: “I love you Don't ever leave me😩” Today, I confronted her and told her that this level of obsession with me is unhealthy. She defended herself by saying that she wanted to make sure I was doing okay because I had a severe depressive episode last semester. Then she called me ungrateful for not appreciating her love and concern.AITA here?",AITA for asking my mom to stop tracking me down when I’m in college?,NTA
10ufl16,"She was talking to another woman about how one of her cats scratched her arm. She said she doesn't know why her cat is acting so strange all of a sudden. I was just trying to join the conversation, so I asked her ""are you talking about \[Cat's name\], I think you should take them to hospital as they're most likely unwell."" (She has two cats, I saw an image of the cat that indicate something wasn't right.)  For context: I knew this information from her public  Instagram page, which I found from another coworker's tagged photos. Her Instagram is public, it has her full name and her photo. I didn't think I was evading privacy by looking at it, As per my other posts, I don't have friends, so I wanted to know about my coworkers, so I could have something to talk about. She then asked me how I know that information, I told her Instagram, then she proceeds to tell me that her Instagram is for friends only, and that she's uncomfortable that I know about her profile, I apologized and didn't speak to her again, only focused on my work, but later in the day one of her friends tells me that I should leave her alone, and stop being a creep and that I'm weird and she'll report me if it continues. AITA here?",AITA for looking at a coworker's Instagram page?,NTA
10uwvmc,"(I’m 15F my mom 42F) Id like to start of with that my parents are both Christian and my mom grew up with Mormon parents. I however am not Christian. I lean towards Satanism. I have no issues with any religions as long as you don’t try forcing it on me. I don’t talk about satanism around my family as I know it makes them uncomfortable. So religious holiday don’t mean much to me but I still somewhat participate for my family. I have severe anxiety issues being around people I don’t know and unfamiliar places. For Christmas we usually go on trips which aren’t enjoyable for me but I still go and try to enjoy it for my family even if it’s more stressful than anything.This year however we were going to one of my moms work friends house. I had agreed with her to go for an hour and a half then she would drive me home. When we showed up I quickly greeted anyone i was introduced to by my mom then stayed on the couch. There were about 30-40 people at this party and it quickly became overwhelming being in a small house with so many people. A few times I had to hide out on the bathroom to stop a panic attack or to cry, but I did my best to stay until the agreed time. When that time came I messaged my mom that It was time. (The car ride is 10 minutes but It crossed many main roads without side walks so she didn’t want me walking home.) She told me she would say her goodbyes then she’d drive me home and come back to continue partying with everyone. After 20 minutes passed I messaged her again asking if she was done so we could leave. She didn’t end up responding so I waited a few minutes longer before messaging her again. She again didn’t respond. I went to look for her though I was already overwhelmed with everything. I pushing through a crowd of adults looking for but her quickly became to much so I went back to the bathroom to try and calm down. I went back to my messages and saw she read them but didn’t respond so I didn’t bother messaging her again. After sometime I was kicked out the bathroom as people had to actually use it so I was moved back onto the couch. By then I was extremely exhausted with everything both mentally and physically as I barley slept the night before due to insomnia. I ended up having to stay there for another three hours before everyone left. The car ride back was silent and I was trying not to cry out of anger. Then my mom turned to me. (My stepdad was driving). And complained about me not interacting with anyone and staying glued to my phone the whole time. I turned to her and yelled about her lying to me about when we’d leave and called her a bitch. (I don’t cuss in front of my parents out of respect so this was the first time) she got mad at me and called me selfish for trying to ruin Christmas for everyone. I ignored her for the rest of the night and got grounded. AITA?",AITA for yelling at my mom on Christmas?,NTA
10uximh,"My roommate has had this cat for over a year and a half. I've changed the cats litter 2 times maybe. He changes the litter 1-2 times per week. Every time that my roommate asks me to change the litter, I respond with no because it will make my eyes and nose scratchy. I cuddle the cat a lot and am the main person he sleeps with. I have a minor allergy to hair and dandruff. Never diagnosed or anything but I've been around cats all my life and that's how it's been. My roommate goes to change the litter and ask me to hold the bag before we go grab take out. I refuse kindly. He says that I never do it and if I don't hold the bag he gonna not talk to me he'll eat separate and not drop it. So I say I really don't want to and he says he's gonna re-home the cat because I want all the benefits of owning a cat but don't put in any work. I've talked about getting my own cat before and offer to be the one he's re-homed to. He says no, its my cat and he will go somewhere else. Ask probing questions. I don't know if I'm in the wrong",AITA IF I WON'T CHANGE MY ROOMMATE'S CAT'S LITTER?,YTA
10ur5x6,"I’m taking an online, asynchronous biochem course this semester. We have a midterm tomorrow on the first 9 sections (~month’s work on material if you follow the recommended course schedule). Someone from the course messaged me on Facebook asking for my notes, she got my profile from the course group chat to message me privately. Under most circumstances I would share my notes, but this girl messaged me saying she hadn’t watched any lecture videos (she downloaded the slides and read them), she wasn’t aware there would be lecture content on the midterm and if I had notes I could send her. I do, I have a really well organized word doc of the first 9 sections that I spent hours creating and I don’t feel like sharing it with someone whose just told me they haven’t done anything for the course. I feel bad because it really does not impact my life at all if I share my notes, so I’m being a little petty. AITA?",AITA for not sharing my notes?,NTA
10usap6,"I just moved back into my house (house fire a year ago) and let my dogs out into the yard. I have neighbors who have a little porch lean to thing in the back of their house that butts up to my yard. They have a makeshift wall that's approximately 4.5 to 5 feet tall that separates our properties. When they come out my dogs run up and jump up at the opening on top and just today, not even 24 hrs of being back, they yelled at my wife and I to handle our dogs. Mind you that the dogs didn't get over the wall just jump and bark. The neighbors decided to yell at my wife about the issue and it upset me. They want me to put a wire like fence 3 ft from their hovel to stop my dogs from jumping at the space. I don't want to lose any of my property a d was honestly frustrated over the whole ordeal. This is where I'm probably the a-hole, I was digging a post-hole and was going to install a six foot wood fence in front of the space so my dogs won't be able to see them and they won't be bothered by my dogs, however it will obstruct most of the natural light that goes into their space. So, am I the A-hole if I choose to just install the fence and null out the problem?Edit: The issue alone isn't that my dogs bark and are loud, it's about my dogs jumping and peeking a head over and a paw, just to fall back down all while barking.I should also mention this riles up the neighbors dog as well.",WIBTA for putting up a 5-6 ft fence,NTA
10v1t1h,"So my wife and I have been together for almost 7 years now. Early on We both have have done some “red flag” things but we’ve gotten through them. I for one have talked to other girls and hid/lied about it before but have never done anything with anyone and have always come clean about it. My wife has accepted and forgiven me. My wife has hid/lied to me about talking to her friends and my own family, literally lying about how controlling I was and other bad stuff about me that turned out to be false or exaggerated (things like her going through my phone daily then telling everyone I went through HER phone daily when I in-fact barley went through her phone) it was always a betrayal of trust because she would literally force tears and say she was not lying about talking to these people about me when I would find out about it and she then would admit to it. (This happened with 4 people and many times)Fast forward years later. We have talked to other couple before and done 1 swap (swinger type stuff) and have been pretty comfortable with that little bit we did because we have boundaries. (Now the problem…)Well My sister has had a boyfriend for around 2 years now that my wife hates, they have their own problems and I’ll admit that I’m not to fond of him either (they also have a kid together) Well today she met with my sister to talk and my sister told her about a guy at work she likes and has been snap chatting and hiding it from her boyfriend. My wife ultimately told her to “go for it” and even told her about us swinging (which I didn’t want anyone to know about) I am upset about both because she ultimately told my sister to cheat which is morally wrong and sees absolutely nothing wrong with that. And I feel another betrayal of trust because she told my sister (a loud mouth) about the secret of swinging. (she also told her about my foot fetish a while back which she knew I wanted kept a secret as well, and said she wouldn’t do something like that again)",AITA: My wife pretty much told my sister that it’s okay to cheat or hide stuff from her boyfriend,NTA
10umjcg,"Hello. First of all, i apologize for my grammar, but english is not my language.  I (M34) dated my ex gf (F34) for a few months 12 years ago. We broke up when i got a job offer in another town. It wasn't a serious relationship, we weren't engaged and we weren't exclusive. After a few years of me living in a new town, i met my now wife. We got married, have a 3 year old daughter and we're expecting again. My wife has a difficult pregnancy and she is on medical leave. My ex contacted me to inform me that we have a daughter (greta- fake name). I was surprised to say the least. I asked for a dna test. She refused at first, but i told her that without a dna test, i won't do anything. In the end we had the test and it was positive. I agreed to a coparenting plan and greta (fake name) came to my house 2 weekends a month. Idk what i expected, but it was way worse. She was rude to my wife all the time, was rude to our staff (we have a lady who cooks and a lady who cleans for us, since we both work) and on several occasions was rude to my 3yo daughter as well. My wife, as i mentioned, has a difficult pregnancy. A week ago, she had to spend the night at the hospital. I wasn't allowed to stay with her so i went home. It was  greta's weekend at my house so she came to stay there. She didn't know yet about my wife being pregnant (it doesn't show, she is only 4 months and with the right clothes you can't tell). I told her about the new baby and she started screaming at me, that how did i dare to do this to her? That 4 months ago i already knew about her and how much she suffered not having a father, and now i'm having a new baby that will grow up with a dad? I told her that i didn't knew she existed, so i can't be blamed for her growing up without a father. She then started throwing insults at me, at my wife, she called my 3yo a failed abortion. This wasn't the first time she hurled insults at them. I then snapped and told her to take her things, i'll take her to her mother's house. I dropped her off at her mom's place, told her what happened and how she won't be allowed back in my house unless she apologizes to my wife and my 3yo. My sister, to whom i'm not in touch and was friends with the ex, called me that night to yell at me and called me an AH for taking greta back to her mom, and for choosing to side with my wife who is so ""superficial and vain"", unlike the ex who is sweet and caring. Am i the asshole for taking her to her mother and demanding an apology?",AITA for taking her back to her mom??,NTA
10u14xq,"This was a while ago, but my family and I still get into arguments over it to this day. When I was in high school, my mom used to send emails from my school account to various different teachers and community leaders to try to make sure I was taking every opportunity. I repeatedly told her not to do this, because it was weird, I didn't really need her help and I was already doing quite well in school- but she insisted that she was helping me, and kept doing it. I locked her out of my account twice, but both times was persuaded by her to give her my password again. She's my mom, so what can you do?Anyways, she eventually writes an email to an organization signing me up to volunteer- I would have gladly done it, but the problem was that I had a Model UN conference that day, so now I had to explain to the organizer who was expecting me to come that I had to cancel last-minute, making me look like a real jerk. I was pretty upset with my mom for putting me in this spot, but whatever. I told her off about her not even mentioning or asking me whether I was busy before signing me up, but she said that it was my fault for never telling her when my conference was. I maintained that 1) she never asked, because if she did I would have happily told her, and 2) she shouldn't have signed me up without my permission or telling me regardless.I sent an email to the organizer informing them that they had been talking to my mom in the past few emails instead of me, and that it was her that had signed me up. I didn't make her look bad- just told the facts, apologized for making them have to find a replacement so late, and said that if there were any other opportunities for volunteering, that I would be in touch. That made my mom so mad that she refused to talk to me, even without reading the email. My dad was also pretty pissed off at me, though not as much as my mom- he said that I had part of the blame to take as well, as I had let my mom have access to my email, so I was kind of asking for it to happen. Also, he said that she was my mom, and was only trying to help me before I threw her under the bus in the email by blaming her to the organizer. I guess that is true, but would it have been better for me to lie and say that it was my fault, and that I had messed up the planning? I've done it before, but this time I just felt so fed up. Maybe I did make the wrong decision, though.Anyways, I was just wondering what you guys thought about it. Pretty much my entire family is against me here, but was what I did really that bad? I've thought about it a long time, and I really don't think so- but if I really am the asshole here, please let me know so I can apologize to my mom and change.",AITA for telling the truth about my mom instead of taking the blame?,NTA
10v5b0w,"Before I start here is a little bit of context. I (19f) have been dating my bf H. (20m) for almost two years now, known him for three. His best friend (20m), let's call him C. has also become a great friend of mine over this time.I currently work in retail on Saturdays in addition to my normal job. Last year in August a girl named A. (26f) also started working there. We found out that she lives only 2 minutes away from me, so we often drove together to work. She's very nice but not the type of person I'd immediately see as ""good friend material"". In November me and a friend, who also works at my retail job, were spending a Saturday evening at her house with my bf H., C. and two other friends. We both had a shift till 6:30 PM, A. had to work till 8:30 PM. After her shift she called to vent about something at work and my friend suggested she should come over for a little bit.So that's where C. and A. met for the first time. Sideinfo: C's. last relationship ended pretty roughly, with his ex cheating on him, so he decided to not enter a new relationship till he finished his training to be a cop. A. knew this from the start and said she was fine with this, but wouldn't miss a chance to cuddle with him or act all lovey dovey. Keep in mind that it was never him, who made a move, he's open for F+, but nothing more. A week ago she told him, that she only wanted to be friends and he was completely fine with that.She now thinks he's being contradicting with his own actions, called him childish, deleted all of their pictures and blocked him on snap, then added him back today.On Saturday we all hung out again at my place and when the two of them went outside to smoke a cigarette, she tried to kiss him, he turned his head and aperently made a face. Afterwards she was silent the whole evening.I asked C. about it and he told me that he was confused and ""she wants to be just friends, friends don't do this"". I mean he's right. Around 1AM both of them drove home.I texted her and asked how she felt. A. answered that she was fine and that she was drinking a glass of wine. This made me worried, since she's not supposed to have alcohol. She has to take medication for her heart and was in the hospital from Monday to Tuesday, because she was experiencing excruciating pain in her head. The  doctors couldn't give her an exact diagnose. On top of that she is a really small girl and doesn't weigh much.So I texted C. what happened cause both of them obviously need to talk things through. About 20 minutes later, I got a text from A. telling me to stop talking to C. about the situation, since she doesn't wanna talk to him. I told her that she needed to talk things out but I only got  a ""leave me alone, fr"", so I did. I know she's probably mad that I'm not texting her an apology or something, but I'm tired of this bs. If they don't talk, I'm the one who's standing between boths sides. She wants to be an adult? Adults talk.So AITA?",AITA for talking to my friend?,NTA
10v5826,"My boyfriend and I have been together for just under 2 years. I love him very much, and his 9 year old child. Child  lives week on, week off with parents. From mothers, to fathers, but primarily with h the mother.The issues lie here; I she insisted on a cat for the first 7 months of mine and my partner’s relationship. After I miscarried my and bfs daughter, we gave in on getting the cat on the condition she also helps with the care taking of said kitten. She agreed and was excited. She did an okay job, some days she did without complaining, other days it was faster for me to just do it.   4 days before Christmas I lost one of my dogs.  I’ve had her for over 12 years. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, something happened that the veterinary team never expected or experienced before and there was no saving her, even with the emergency surgery she had just received. But now, my boyfriend has gotten a new puppy due to him and his daughter wanting one and I do all the caretaking for it full time. Here maybe where I am the asshole. His daughter has chores he made up and tells her to do occasionally. Maybe once her whole visit. We got into an argument last night over me feeling overwhelmed and me wanting help and for him to be consistent with enforcing chores with me because ontop of me doing all the household chores and all the cooking, I’ve been doing 95% of the childcare and I feel like I’m drowning and need help. I need everyone to pull their weight and help out in the home. He feels I shouldn’t be overwhelmed bc i do all the stuff in my week while the child is with mom. And he said the cat was mine bc I got it when I lost the baby. He told  me to take my dog, and “my” cat and get out. So my friends came and got me for the night so we can cool down and he’s so mad I left and accusing me of sleeping with my friends husband now. All I did was do what he said. I haven’t slept I’ve been up all night upset.  He was also drunk and twisted everything in the argument earlier in the night.",AITA for leaving for a night?,NTA
10uohwi,"I'm very curious to hear opinions/judgements on this, since I am not always the best when it comes to wedding etiquette. I'm still not sure who was in the wrong in this situation from an etiquette standpoint.My husband's cousin (the groom) was getting married in another state and asked if our daughter would be the flower girl. We happily agreed, assuming that if our daughter were a part of the wedding ceremony, she would be invited to the reception. It turned out that not clarifying this was a mistake. By the time we learned that it was a child-free wedding, we had already planned a family vacation around this wedding and booked plane tickets. Since we were traveling out of state and anyone we knew that could watch our kids was invited to the wedding, I had no choice but to RSVP no to the reception so that I could watch my kids (ages 3 and 11 months). I did still attend the ceremony and allow my daughter to be a flower girl. I also asked my husband to please forgo the reception and come back to his relative's house with me. The entirety of the rest of the trip was spent mainly with his immediate family. The only people that he would have only seen at the reception were his cousin's immediate family, who he did get to say hello to at the ceremony. I am told that the bride was not happy that my husband missed the reception and felt that I should have taken the kids back from the wedding on my own and let him enjoy time with his family.Prior to the wedding I did not flat out ask the bride if my children could attend the reception, but I did mention that we would be unable to attend the reception because we had no childcare. The bride offered to find a sitter. I declined this because my children are very young, would be sleeping in a strange place (and for that matter, could I invite a sitter into my in-laws home?), and have never been watched by anyone outside of family before.So, I realize there are a lot of potential asshole moves at play here. Are my husband and I assholes for assuming our children could attend a wedding reception where one is part of the ceremony? But, are the bride and groom assholes for asking our child to be part of the out of state ceremony and then excluding her from the reception without being upfront that it is child-free? I am leaning toward ESH for those (correct me if I'm wrong), BUT biggest question:Am I an asshole for asking my husband to miss the reception with me so that I was not sitting home alone at his relative's house while the babies slept?I'm adding an edit - I'm not sure if this makes a difference to the YTA voters, but another cousin got married out of state a month later and many more family members attended that wedding. At the time of the wedding in question, we knew this one was coming up. My husband traveled by himself for that wedding and spent lots of time with his family while I gladly stayed home with the kids.",AITA for asking my husband to miss his cousin's wedding reception?,NTA
10v0gkv,"I (19M) am a college student that's also vice president of our school's LGBTQ+ club. I'm also part of a group chat on Discord with friends I've made from that club where we mostly just share memes. I never really knew anyone coming into the club because before college, I've been going to high school online since before the pandemic. I had really bad social anxiety on top of being targeted by bullies for being gay at previous schools, so since I never really socialized with any of my classmates during high school, I only knew a handful of people at my college from previous schools, and most of them are straight. Despite not being the most socially active or adept person, I managed to open up during my time at the club and was even elected vice president earlier this semester.Now here's why I'm writing this. Before I delivered the message that started all of the drama, the group chat had been inactive for about five days. I decided to send a gif that I thought would be somewhat comedic, and boy, did that backfire. Basically, I sent a gif of a tumbleweed rolling through a desert, and underneath, I wrote ""this chat"". I kid you not, within about five seconds, one of the people in the chat texts ""contribute then"". That was where I immediately realized my mistake. I immediately think ""damn, I sounded like an asshole"". Then I decided that that was enough discord for that night, and shamefully walked away from the situation, turned off my phone, and went to sleep (it was 1 AM).The next morning, nothing unusual really happened. I went to class, did some homework, ate lunch with my friends, and went home. Then I opened Instagram while laying in bed to discover a barrage of messages on Instagram from the club officer group chat trying to notify me that two of my ""friends"" from the Discord group made callout posts on their stories about what I had said.I confronted those people from the club through Instagram DMs and basically told them ""Listen, I'm sorry. I thought it was humorous, but when I posted it, I immediately realized my mistake. But I feel like maybe you're blowing it a little bit out of proportion. I don't see why you had to publicize this situation when we could just talk it out."" They responded by blocking me.People from the club seem to be pretty divided on the situation, with some writing me off as an asshole and a bully and others choosing to look past a dumb mistake that, in my opinion, wasn't that big of a deal. This situation has gotten to the point to where I stopped showing up to club meetings and am seriously considering dropping the club entirely because I don't feel like I'm stepping into a safe space when I go to that club anymore. I feel like shit for the part I played in this drama. I can see how I was the asshole for saying what I said, but this turned into something else that it shouldn't've been. The anxiety I've had over this is starting to get in the way of my grades and mental health, so I feel like getting this off my chest will help.So Reddit, AITA?",AITA for getting mad at my (former) friends after they called me out?,NTA
10ug3zo,"F (22) here. My parents have always wanted to buy a home together but have struggled financially. My Mum has not worked my whole life, out of choice. My dad has several health problems.When I got a full-time job at age 21, and before I even received my first paycheck, my parents asked me to save towards their home deposit and to get a home loan with them. They said that they needed me to go on the mortgage so that they could get a 30-year mortgage, with lower repayments. At the time I had never lived out of home and didn't fully understand what me being on their home loan meant.I had been talking about buying a house with my partner for at least a year prior to this. When my mother found out that her and my father wouldn't be eligible for a $10,000 home grant if I bought with my partner first, she asked me to hold off on buying until they bought their home (with my name on the loan). During this time I went to the bank and discovered I would not have enough borrowing power to put my name on their home and on the one with my partner. This led to my partner buying the house, and me being unable to put my name on it. Which my parents were well aware of and were fine with, as long as they got their home.Flash forward a year and I have given them nearly $30,000 AUD towards their home deposit and their other expenses, all of which they have spent. I also prioritised saving for them over saving for the home with my partner, which they were aware of. They are still looking to buy or build a house in the next year. They have also engaged with several builders to gather information about the process. On two occasions, after my partner bought our house, my parents asked me if I no longer wanted to go on their mortgage with them. Feeling pressured and uncomfortable, I said it was still fine for me to do. Recently, with guidance from my other siblings, I have realised that my parents prioritise their needs above mine and that they are not good with money. I  feel anxious about going on a loan with them, as they are not financially stable and are very dependent on me for money. WIBTA to tell them that I don't want to do it, especially since they have asked me twice if I still want to.",WIBTA for telling my parents i changed my mind about going on a home loan,NTA
10uqf1c,"Little background, I(21F) live with My Sister(25F), My brother(24M), and Mother(50F) Currently only my sister and I have a Job, though currently I have less shifts than my sister.My family decided they want to move out of my childhood home as it's becoming too expensive to live there anymore, this is understandable yet during this time my Fiancé(23M) and I were talking about moving in together. I've brought this up to my family and they were all very excited for me to go live with him. I brought up saving my money for a passport and plane ticket as well as spending money as my Fiancé currently is living in another country due to work, this set my mother off as this would mean I wouldn't be giving her the normal amount for rent and bills. Currently only my sister and I have jobs and pay for everything in the house together for the last 5 years, I brought up to my sister about my move and she agreed to pay more for rent and bills so that I can save. My sister paid 50% of bills prior to this, now she pays 75% (even with the rent going up)Soon after I started to save my money, the rent went up and now my sister uses almost her full paycheck to pay rent and bills. My mother started demanding that I pay even more for rent and bills, but my sister has said it's fine that I don't. Without my extra money they are scrapping by barely now, and I understand I live with them and they need help; I have already agreed to not giving any more money due to myself trying to move. As well my brother and mother both haven't been trying to get jobs anyways, and even when my sister and I ask them to help they simply don't and expect us to keep paying everything for them. My sister said if I was able to get my passport and ticket right now she wouldn't mind if I left just to teach the others a lesson that they can't just rely on me for everything, I feel bad about it but I know since her and I are the only ones paying anything it would be up to only her once I left.I've spoken to my Fiancé about all this and he offered to pay for my passport and my ticket so that I would only need to save money for the actual trip and until I get a job in the new country, due to this technically I could give more money to my family for their rent and their current move. Yet once speaking to my sister on the situation she said that I don't need to give anymore then I already have, and she doesn't want me to give any more money. Hearing this my mother blew up screaming that I have to give my full paychecks up since everything is gonna be paid for me, and that having it sit in my bank doing nothing is simply wasting it. I don't think I'm in the wrong since my sister and I have spoken about it.But AITA for not giving them more money?  **Edit:** For those asking, I've asked my sister to come with me but she says she wishes to stay with my mother no matter what. I've tried changing her mind, but she refuses to leave. As well both my mother and brother are perfectly fine, they have no disabilities. My mother has been out of a job since my sister got out of highschool and started working originally, while my brother has had a few jobs here and there but got fired from his last one and never bothered getting a new one. ",AITA for not using my full paycheck for my family's bills,NTA
10v2pwq,"So I, (19 F) was adopted from China at age 2.5. A few days ago, my friend (19 M) and I were getting into a long conversation about the United State's current geopolitical standings (we both currently live in the US). He has expressed his dislike of US politics and his desire to immigrate from the US on multiple occasions. During our conversation, he told me he was jealous that I was adopted from a country other than the United States because I could renounce being tied to this country- and wished he could have been adopted too.I would like to say that choosing to renounce your country of origin isn't the same as being taken from it.I understand that the US is not a perfect country, but I think it's important to know that adoption doesn't necessarily wipe your slate clean. It comes with its own hardships, especially adapting to a new cultural region. I understand that at the surface, it's easy to see all of the success stories of kids being given better lives with loving families and going on to be happy.. but that doesn't happen for everyone. And on top of that, serious psychological issues can come from adoption. I can only speak from my own personal experiences, and I am super grateful to have been adopted into a family that provided me with a good life. Still, I remember growing up and having major abandonment issues that stemmed from being abandoned in an elevator at 1 month. I grew up in a family and community that had no ties to my cultural heritage, and that does create a gap that will probably take years to fill. I'm not trying to gatekeep, but there are things my friend will never have to experience, and quite frankly, as someone who has gone through it, I don't want him to. I don't want him to know what it feels like to believe that you weren't good enough for your parents to come back for you because even after all of these years, it still hurts. I know my friend doesn't mean anything malicious by his statement, but I can't help but feel like he's only taking things at face value and not realizing the negatives.",WIBTA for getting upset at a friend for telling me he wishes he was adopted?,NTA
10u6yej,"I (F35) am getting married this spring to my fiancé (M35) after being together for 7 years. When we started talking about marriage a few years ago, we both agreed that we wanted an intimate wedding since we are both on the introverted side. We initially wanted to do a small wedding aboard, but because of the pandemic and his mother's health, we decided against it. We found a small venue and we are paying for everything ourselves. Last November, I sent out save the dates. My (F28) cousin who is also a bridesmaid, called me letting me know that she received the invitation and that she let everyone know about the wedding. At first, I corrected her and let her know I sent her a save the date (there was no information about the venue or times, just the date and the city and state the wedding was going to be at) and I figured she was just excited since she has never been in a wedding before. She started asking me about how many people she could bring, and I let her know because of costs and the size of the venue, she was only going to be able to bring her father, sister, and her long-term boyfriend.She started freaking out that she had invited a lot of people to my wedding and now she had to tell them that they couldn't come and how that was embarrassing for her. I told her she never asked to invite people to my wedding and I didn't want people that I didn't know to be there. Two minutes after she hung up, she called me back and gave me an ultimatum- I allow her to bring her boyfriend's mother (who I haven't met before and does not live with my cousin) or she was not going to be in my wedding. I told her firmly, ""I'm sorry you feel that way but that cannot be done. I'm sorry to hear that you don't want to be in the wedding anymore but I can't budge on this."" I hung up the phone.After not speaking to her for a few months, I saw her yesterday at a family gathering, but she made it a point not to engage with me at all. I decided to text her after the gathering letting her know that I was sorry to miss her earlier but I wanted her to know the invitation was going to be sent next week.She asked again about her boyfriend's mother. I let her know again that was not possible, but depending on how many people RSVP,  I could see about the mom but I was not going to make any promises. She replied back, saying that her and her family talked and they decided that they did not want to come because I insulted her family by not allowing the boyfriend's mom to come. My sister and my mom think I should still send the invite to them,(They think that if I don't invite them they are going to cause more drama) but my fiancé does not. I'm torn and hurt because I love my cousins and want them to be there but after the ultimatum she gave me and her not listening to my reasons why her boyfriend's mom can't come as well as inviting people without consulting me, I'm leaning more towards to revoking her invitation. WIBTA?",WIBTA for uninviting my cousin to my wedding?,NTA
10u84rm,"I (32M) live in Colorado, and my grandparents (86F and 89M) live in South Carolina. Their only daughter, my mother, passed away when I was 4. I was an only child as well, so they only have 1 full grandchild. My brother and sister are through another marriage so they are not technically related by blood.             Last year my grandmother had a stroke. She recovered quickly, although there is noticeable changes. She doesn't socialize anymore and she just doesn't want to do anything really other than call and talk to me (which is perfectly fine, I love talking to my nanny). My grandfather has been in the hospital a few times in the last year, all for heart issues. He refuses to take his medicine anymore and lives on mayonnaise sandwiches despite them being relatively well-off.           Yesterday my grandfather had to go to the hospital for major chest pains, but he got angry and left. Today he went back up there for the same reason, and after a few hours the head nurse gave me a call asking his ""mental baseline"", describing him as yelling shouting and running up and down the halls. The staff eventually made my grandmother leave the premises (they were fussing and she seemed to be antagonizing him). They are both declining in health rather fast; my grandmother mentally and my grandfather physically. I've tried in the past to get an in-home nurse, but my grandmother claims they are stealing from her (she's always believed home nurses do that, it's not a new issue from the stroke or age) or she doesn't like them because they are ""ethnic"" (she uses worse terms). Oddly, she really wants to go to a nursing home.          I can pay for in home nurses and caretakers for several years with my current salary and savings, but my grandmother doesn't want that. They both want me to move back to SC and live with them as their caretaker instead. I miss my childhood home, but I'm certainly not qualified as a caretaker. I'm disabled and honestly can't stand their constant bickering over petty problems (large days long fights have happened over my grandfather simply asking ""is that grandchild on the phone?"" to her responding ""oh just shut up and go outside""). I can't see myself being able to maintain my sanity and finances while caring for them full time, as they live in a very rural area and I work in IT /security. There's no industries nearby where they live that I have skills in. They both tell me I can just work in any job with a computer, and keep suggesting Walmart or McDonald's because ""there are computers there, they'll pay you the same as a XYZ security firm"". I know I'm technically the ""next in line"" for care responsibilities, but I live in a place I love, have good jobs, great insurance, and am able to save up substantial funds to buy a house in the future. I don't have any of that back in SC. I have some family and very bad memories, and that's it.      Am I the asshole for not wanting to move back?",AITA for not wanting to move across country & be a caregiver for my grandparents?,NTA
10ul90d,"I(38f) am a single mother and offered my son (16m) my old car when he graduates high school? For context, my car is a 2011, but reliable. I don't make a lot but we get by okay. I have put in a lot of work/money into the car; new tires, new alternator and battery, new breaks and regular maintenance. There are still a few minor things that need to be done, the largest being the AC. Note, I would never put my son in an unsafe car and everything is done by a licensed mechanic. My son has always struggled with grades and school and I wanted to motivate him. I  mentioned to him that I'm putting so much work into the car so I could give it to him when he graduates and I buy a new car. He scoffed at this and said ""Your car doesn't even have AC and it's not really the best, I'd rather save my money and buy a brand new car when I'm like 20."" I explained how insurance, car payments, rent(if he moves out) and other bills could make that difficult. He seemed unbothered and uninterested in the car. I was hurt and said he was rude to throw such a valuable gift in my face and it was also rude to insult my current car. AITA for offering him an old car? WIBTA If I stopped putting unnecessary work into the car and just sell it to buy a newer car for myself sooner?",AITA For offering my son my old car?,NTA
10uskuk,"So kind of a long story My wife and I currently live with my mother-in-law (please don’t judge, we are actively house hunting and it is not easy at all). We pay her rent and live in a garage converted studio apartment attached to the house. My wife and I both work mostly from home. I’m a mental health counselor for a private agency with very limited office space, so I can only go in one day a week. Because my wife and I are on top of each other in the studio and I really need to talk to my clients in a private space due to HIPAA (plus I would probably distract her from her work since I’m talking all day long), my mother in law told me I could work in her guest room. It’s been a really good arrangement  so far because my MIL told me she never uses the room so I’m not in her way, and I can close the door for privacy. Also I was in an extreme bind of where I would work and this solves my problem. I’ve always let her know how grateful I am for letting me use the space.My wife has an aunt who used to live here. She is the ex-wife of my MIL’s brother and they are very close. She lived here rent free while my wife had to pay rent, which I always thought was pretty fucked up, but my MIL is really good to her sister in law and usually does prioritize her over my wife, and it wasn’t my business. Anyway, my wife’s aunt contacted my MIL to say she needed somewhere to go for a few days and so my MIL told her she can have the guest room. She works during the day so I figured we won’t need the room at the same time, but my MIL basically said she wanted me to find somewhere else to work during those days (she also didn’t specify how many days). I told her that wouldn’t be possible given that my office isn’t available and I need somewhere private. Tomorrow I’m planning on just using the room while aunt is at work, and I’ll take all my stuff out before she gets back so it’s not in her way. I feel like this is fair since part of our arrangement is me using that room for work, but I guess I wonder if I’m being TA, just because usually I’m usually extremely passive and people pleasing and  let people walk all over me, and this is my first time really being assertive and standing up for what I need when it comes to my MIL (I like to try to please her).Also, there is no other space to work, there is the guest room, my MIL’s room, and the dining room and kitchen which are common spaces that I don’t want to take over. I don’t think that would even be right",AITA for refusing to leave my home office space?,YTA
10uwkdl,"I bought apple juice and didn't have a fridge myself so I kept it in Friend A's fridge who was absolutely fine with it being there for as long as I wanted. Friend B, who is friends with us both, drank it without asking or telling me after about a week and a half. (Apparently they asked friend A's if it was theirs and when they said no, they took it). The day after they did this I had actually bought a really nice meal that I wanted to drink the juice with (I'm a very broke college student so really nice doesn't really happen that often). When I found out my juice had been drunk I was livid inside but politely and calmly asked friend B to replace it. Some backstory, I'm very big on sharing but my one rule is you must ask. I HATE people taking my stuff without asking and I also don't like it when people expect me to share. I love helping my friends out and offering whatever I can even if they don't ask but I despise the notion that people are entitled to that and I firmly believe that, at the end of the day, if you want something, you should ask for it and not expect it to just be given to you. Friend B knows this and has actually called me annoying because I'm too polite and it irritates them when I ask for something, for example to bottled water or their snacks when I should just take it.Anyway, Friend B wasn't happy that I asked for them to buy me another one because they give me stuff as well and not letting them have the juice was selfish and they would never share their stuff with me again but I maintained that it wasn't them drinking the juice that was the problem, it was them taking it without asking that pissed me off (The meal I bought wasn't planned so if they had asked me the day they drank it, since I wasn't planning on drinking it I would've given it to them, no problem). They still didn't get why I was upset but said they they would replace it, however, for about a month afterwards, I didn't get the drink. I asked in total around four times and each time I did, they got visibly very annoyed which I felt was unfair. I know they went to the campus cafe a lot during that time because I'd often see them coming back with food from there with our friend group (I didn't really fit in with them and felt very unwanted and ignored whenever I hung around with them and I noticed they were hanging out a lot without me before this happened. Eventually I just stopped trying). One day I saw them all together in the cafe and asked them once again for the juice and they finally bought it but they were not happy at all.I don't really think I'm an asshole for wanting the drink but I admit that I might be and that I should've just left it. I also think I could be TA for pestering them about it after asking the first time.If any of this was unclear just let me know and I'll clarify whatever you need me to.edit bc i think ppl might come to this conclusion which is a fair assumption but not true: before this there were no similar issues, the reason i felt excluded is because i don't have many things in common with them and i always felt like an outsider (i'm black british and they're african american which i didn't think would be a big difference but i guess in this case it was). whenever i tried to talk about something i thought we could all relate to they'd ignore me and talk about something else of which i had never heard of before. at some point everytime i hung out with them i was silent in a corner while they talked and felt quite lonely so i stopped hanging out with them as much.",AITA for asking my friend to buy me a replacement apple juice?,YTA
10v2l6h,"Hi I'm new to Reddit so please bear with me if I do something wrong, (also this is probably something stupid and just a small problem in general but it happens to me a lot with my parents).Basically today/for the past few days I have been sick. I have mild asthma that only acts up when I get sick, and my asthma in general has gotten a lot worse since I recovered from covid.I had to go to the GP with my mum in the morning then the ER with my dad because I was struggling to breathe. At the ER I had to stay for a minimum of 3-4 hours before they let me go and my dad had work today (he works from home), therefore it resulted in taking up his time, but he didn't complain. When we had gotten back I still felt short of breath and I imagine they were quite annoyed at me because I had already visited the doctor twice, however they didn't say anything. Due to the fact that I was sick and struggling to breathe they had to fuss around with me and try to make me feel comfortable which I really appreciated. However when I got up from bed to say that I had a really bad cramp in both of my feet my dad claimed that I was being spoiled and shouldn't be complaining about such a small problem. I then asked if he was telling me that the cramps I was experiencing were irrelevant and he said yes since it was ""not related to my asthma"" and I couldn't possibly have two problems at once because frankly that's just impossible. Either way the pain got so bad that I had to sit down on the floor clutching my cramp and my dad then started to complain about me (in front of my face) with my mum saying that I was being dramatic (she agreed). In that moment I really wished that they would stop being so insensitive and I really detested them but couldn't say anything because then they would most likely drag me out of the house and lock me out for a few hours. AITA?",AITA for hating my parents for invalidating my experiences (not sure if that's the right word),INFO
10v4jwk,"Hello from London!My husband has sent out flyers to everyone in the neighbourhood with this on:> HM Government logo> **National lockdown 18th March 2023 for 6 weeks**> There will be a national lockdown for 6 weeks beginning 18 March 2023 due to rising COVID figures in the United Kingdom.> All non-essential shops, pubs and restaurants must close, and all food must be takeaway. > You must practise social distancing and wear a face covering when on public transport or shopping.> You must work from home unless you are a medical or a key worker.> You must not socialise with anyone outside your household.> **YOU MUST STAY AT HOME** unless you are shopping for food or medicine.> Fines of £500 will be issued for breaches of this order.> [LINK to lockdown rules]He sent it out to 80 people in the neighbourhood and also to the local high schools as well.I told him there and then he must stop this hoax, but he insisted he knows from a source there's a lockdown coming.My husband works in a food shop, a small business run by a local woman.AITA for telling him to stop this stupid hoax and putting fear of god into people?",AITA for telling my husband to stop this hoax in the neighbourhood which may scare people?,NTA
10uttjr,"I(20f) have a sister (18f) let just say me and my sister normally don’t get along just think of it as Starfire and Blackfire from teen titans, but we stay on good terms sometimes but lately we been having bad blood with each other. This incident happens months ago, but for context i’m not the most organized or cleanest person in the world and made a mess in the living room one time and forgot to clean it up, I do admit that I am in the wrong for that since it was an ass move. Which really upset my sister because when I was on the bus going to work she left a text message saying “ How you’re not embarrassed that a 20 year can’t clean up after herself! I really glad you’re moving out the house because we’re better off without you being in the house without you laying with your good for nothing lazy ass in the house” ,honestly this really upset me, not because she was angry about the mess but the way she said it. Just seeing that my own sister can just texted me that cruel message, I did thought about moving out soon but then decided to move out early due to my sister. I told my parents that I will be moving out in order to be closer to school despite be close to University as it already is.  A few months later I moved back in to my mom’s house to save money so that I can go do a study program in Hawai’i as you can already guest my sister wasn’t happy about this and ignored me, she also gave me the side eye whenever we crossed paths. After a few weeks my parents kept asking me the real reason why I moved out since they figured out that I couldn’t just moved out just to be closer to school, so then I told my mom one on one the real reason why I moved out was because I couldn’t take it anymore with my sister always be reminded why feel like shit and feeling like I always been useless, just a burden to the house, but then my mom reassured me that she was the only one who thinks you can and cannot be in the house, since THIS IS HER HOUSE HER RULES. Later on my sister figured out I told my parents the truth and calling me the asshole my brother thinks I’m the also asshole but I told my friends about this and said I’m not at fault here for telling the truth. So am I the asshole for telling my parents the truth?",AITA for telling my parents the real reason why I moved out,NTA
10uwxts,"So I (19F) and my brother (20M) ill call Eli. So Eli and I wanted to throw our mom (now 39 F) a birthday, We got supplies dinner and stuff to make a cake. Our step-dad (who we will call Mike ) works till 11 most nights and doesn't seem to like us all that much scene Eli and I came back home. So we had all the supplies on Moms birthday we went with her to the doctor while we were on our way back home Mike called our mom to ask if chicken parmasaion  was okay for dinner, Every year she has Steak and potatoes because it is her favorite meal. So when we got home Mike was pissed we had a plan and was upstaging him. He told my brother and I that he was eating chicken parm so if we wanted to make food we could, he just wouldn't have any. So this may be where i was the ass i got just enough food for my brothers, mom and I. Eli and i made the cake set up decorations and made dinner. Mike and my mom started to fight because we keep upstaging him. I never wanted to cause any problems and now Mike has been avoiding and cold to my brother and I. So i want to know AITA?​sorry if this doesnt make any sense i will answer any questions if need be","AITA for ""upstaging"" my step-dad on my moms birthday",NTA
10ur395,"Back in July I had gotten married to my high school sweetheart who will call Chad I found out back in October that my brother finally got engaged to his girlfriend. We found out in December that their wedding was going to be in April. Now in February we still haven’t received any sort of save the date or invitation. We only knew the date of the wedding because my parents had told me. So back in December when I had found out I started looking at plane tickets to try to be there. Even though we have never really been close we have just started getting along as adults, so I wanted to be there for his wedding to support him. while looking at plane tickets I had found out that there were no time frames that would work for my husband to come due to work. Not only that plane tickets for about $800 for one person. My husband and I don’t have a lot of money, since we are so young and just started out on the whole Adulting thing. We decided to go ahead and buy a ticket for me to go since I knew it would be important for my brother and my family. Once my parents found out that Chad was not coming to the wedding they got very upset with me saying I was selfish and inconsiderate for not bringing my husband to my brothers wedding. when I had tried to explain that we could only afford for me to go, and even if we could afford for Chad to go there was no timing that would work. Since due to both of our jobs it would be if we fly in Friday night stay for the Saturday wedding fly out Sunday morning. They just said I was being selfish for not willing to spend a lot of money to get to my brothers wedding even though he spent a grand to come to mine. Now anytime that I tried to talk to my parents they bring up The wedding and ask if I have looked again to see Chad could go. But every time I look ticket prices are still about $700 for one, and there is only one flight that could work but it would mean he flys all night and then arrives about 5 hours before the wedding but one ticket is $850. my parents had also somehow found out that my husband is due for a bonus sometime in March to May and are complaining that we aren’t using that money to buy the plane ticket. Even though we don’t have that money and don’t know how much we’re getting. And we are both very uncomfortable with spending money we don’t have. They said that I should just put it on my credit card and just pay it off later when I get a chance. Though I am very uncomfortable with that because I don’t want to go into debt over sending my husband who has met my brother maybe 5 times to my brothers wedding. Am I the asshole?",AITA for not going into debt for brothers wedding?,NTA
10uu4hk,"English is not my first language and I'm on mobile 🙂I (38F) am disabled. I have both physical (lots of joints problems and knee malformation) and psychiatric disabilities (I'm autistic). I have an official card that allows me to park on special spots. My daughter (1F) has Down Syndrome and has the same card. You need to be at least 80 % disabled to get the card. My SO (39M) doesn't drive, it's relevant. I recently had to move out because of moisture and mold problems, heating wasn't working and isolation was nonexistent. My daughter's room's ceiling had a big hole and it was raining inside. Landlord wouldn't do anything and my daughter caught bronchitis, which is life-threatening for her as she has a heart condition. We had the chance to find a nice flat and had to move in quickly. It was exhausting, I had to drive back and forth with my little car and take care of all paperwork (my country loves administrative papers!). My SO is just unable to fill a form... The last day my aunt (62F) and uncle (61M) came to give a hand as my uncle has a truck and a trailer. They moved furniture and appliance that wouldn't fit in my little car. I was at the new place tidying and taking care of my daughter when they arrived with all the big stuff. I had parked on the disabled spot as I was exhausted, boitering in pain and on the verge of a meltdown (had to take diazepam). I rarely park on disabled spots unless I really need it, if I'm OK I park on normal spots and let disabled spots free for someone who needs it more than I do. This day no normal spots were available near the entrance of the building. So my uncle began yelling at me that I shouldn't park on a disabled spot and required that I move my car. I asked him if I forgot to display my card on the windshield (he might not be aware that I had a card). He yelled that the neighbor (60sF) needs it more as she REALLY is disabled and I'm not. I told him I would move my car when I finish unloading it and the neighbor would be able to park. He yelled more and more YOU'RE NOT DISABLED!!! My family never accepted my disabilities, even with medical certificates and State acknowledgement. For them I'm just lazy. I'm a SAHM and got State allowance for disabled people for my daughter and myself. My SO works. I wouldn't budge as I wasn't able to drive after taking diazepam. My aunt and uncle left angry and I moved my car a couple of hours later. So Reddit, AITA?",AITA Parked on a disabled spot,NTA
10v49w9,"My girlfriend (33F, we’ll call her Jane) just launched her career in Real Estate as a buyers agent. She is currently on her second week of being in the office. She’s still in the learning phase of her career, and it often takes anywhere from 2 - 6 months to produce your first sale.My brother (48M, we’ll call him Ricky) has been renting our childhood home from our parents for the past decade. Ricky has decided he is going to buy a house with his fiancé(50F). The decision has been made that our Childhood home is going on the market to be sold.Ricky and my parents agree that the childhood home needs renovations before it is ready to hit the market. Ricky is pretty handy and has decided to take on almost all of the remodeling himself. The 3 Bedroom 2 bathroom house is getting all new flooring, carpet, paint, vanities, as well as general facelifts to the exterior. Ricky has been calling Jane and I for the past two weeks demanding that we help him with the renovations since we are both going to “benefit from this”. Ricky has been calling Jane, telling her what kind of house they are looking for, giving her details and ideas, essentially providing her with the notion that Jane is going to be their Buyers Agent.Jane and I were a bit hesitant with his demands for help, feeling that he should hire professional help instead of doing all renovations with just him and I, but I owe him a few favors and decided I would help with the renovations. I spent about 10 hours today at the house removing old flooring and vanities, helping where I could.When I came home, Jane asked if Ricky was still interested in using her as a buyers agent, as she wanted to get started on searching for listings with Ricky. I shot Ricky  a text: “Jane is so excited to work with you! Let her know when you want to get started looking for houses!”Ricky responded: “Jane can help by selling our parents house.”Naturally this upset Jane, as she is not a listing agent and would not be able to sell the house at this time. She was really looking forward to working with Ricky to find his future home, and now she feels insulted that she is not getting his business nor his trust.Ricky is using a family friend that has been in the real estate business for over 20 years and has helped multiple family members buy property. Jane understood Ricky’s decision but this still was a blow to her ego.Insulted by the fact that he was leading Jane on and ultimately not using her as his buyers agent, I texted Ricky: “that’s unfortunate. Jane is not a listing agent, she’s a buyers agent. She won’t be able to do much in the way of selling our parents house. Good luck with the remaining renovations. We’ll see you at the next family holiday.”He has not responded yet, but I feel a sense of dread. I feel that I may have taken it too far, but I also feel like it was a dick move on his part to not use Jane as his buyers agent. Am I the asshole for not helping my brother with the remaining renovations?",AITAH for not helping my brother?,NTA
10usyr9,"I (24M) am the only son of my parents (55F and 56M). They divorced when I was only two months old due to him cheating on my mom. She got my custody, and he had visitation every other weekend, when I would stay at his house, where he lives with my stepmother (50F) and my half-brother (16M). When I went it would all go pretty well, no major conflicts.Here in Spain a divorced parent has to pay child support until the child is 26 or they can support themself on their own. He's started multiple legal procedures to reduce the amount he pays (something like €350 a month) or stop paying at all. Lately he's been insistent that I find a job, which I'm looking for as well as I finish my studies in web development.He's told his lawyer to say that he wants to stop paying because now his wife lost her job (she left it) and he can't  pay anymore with just one salary (I'm sure she's got right to unemployment compensation, also his salary isn't that low). I told him I was looking for a job but that I wanted to prioritise more my studies (I'm two subjects away from finishing), so he told the lawyer I'm not looking AT ALL for a job and that I only got two subjects from a ""little computing course"". It's not the first time he pulls something like that, and he always tries to pay less or not pay. He straight up would refuse to pay his half of my college tuition even if he knew my mom can't pay it all alone. Or the time he bought me a phone and put me on a good plan that he said he'd pay, just to find out he was using the money on MY ACCOUNT, that my grandma gave me, to pay for it. He's always complaining and trying to get me on his side. I'm pretty much getting tired of all this.I kept going every other weekend because I thought I could trust him and that he wouldn't try to screw me over what I tell him. He's had a lot of opportunities but he always screwed it. I'm done and I'll tell him it's over, that he always failed me and cared more about his money than about me.WIBTA if I stop going and tell him it's because of his stunts, even though they'll say they miss me and I should go more often? He will probably tell my grandma how ""it's a shame"" so she'll tell me they're so sad. The woman has a good heart but he makes her believe what he wants. I'm just tired of those stunts but I'm afraid I'll sound too harsh or something if I straight up say I can no longer trust him and that has made me not want to visit him.Lastly: sorry for any grammar or spelling issues. I'm on a phone and English is not my first languages.Edit: for clarification, in Europe is fairly normal to support children until they can afford to live on their own, doesn't matter if it's until 18 or until 35.",WIBTA If I stop call out my father for his greed and tell him I'll stop going to his house?,NTA
10uzn1f,"I (21f) have a complicated relationship with my parents. Most times, we’re great. I love them, and I know they love me. But the reason it’s complicated (messed up actually) is my father has been in multiple affairs ever since I was a little kid, and my parents have gotten into fights over that for years… But she hasn’t divorced him because of poor health, and she believes I need a father figure. I’ve grown up with that my whole life. Every year, they’ll fight, my mom threatens to leave, I comfort her, my dad asks for forgiveness. And then things are okay again. I currently live away from my parents, but I text my mom often. And their fight has happened again recently, so my mom has been telling me how she’s angry and can’t wait to divorce him. My mom expects me to comfort her which I try to do of course. But this time, I wasn’t asking her as many questions about what they fought over since I already know… it’s the same usual thing. But I think my mom has interpreted this as me not caring about her. She says that I’ve changed and that she doesn’t need anyone. When I try to explain myself, she always gets angrier and says I’m talking back. Out of anger, I blocked both my parents, so they’re unable to contact me. Does that make me the AH? Should I unblock them?",AITA for blocking my parents?,NTA
10uqi8d,"My (16m) mom and I have a good relationship, and I know she loves me, but she can be really overprotective of me and my siblings sometimes. I know it's only because she loves us and everything, and I know I should just let it go, but it gets so hard because I feel like there's no privacy. My siblings also all (mostly) think the same thing. For example, she's gone through our rooms before. I don't know if that's normal for a parent to do or not, but whenever she thinks something's up and someone's keeping secrets from her, she just searches through our rooms to try and see if we're hiding anything. Recently she stopped doing this with my oldest sister because she's practically an adult and my mom trusts her, but my other sisters, my brother and I still deal with this. My mom also has read my younger sister's journal multiple times and then got mad at her for something my sister wrote.Nobody (minus my oldest sister) really opens up to her and tells her things, because my mom tends to try and handle everyone's problems herself. I know she's looking out for her kids, but sometimes there's problems we can handle without her help, and we're all older now. One time she yelled at some kids at my school (in front of people) because they were making fun of me, and this just made a bunch of kids make fun of me more. Yesterday my brother came to me and told me that my mom had been looking through our room earlier. I was already not feeling well so I got annoyed quickly, and so I went to confront her about it. She told me, ""I'm your mom, and I have a right to do this."" I told her that she can't just go into someone else's room without asking and go searching through all their stuff. My dad came in and yelled at me, and he told me that I'm being disrespectful and took my phone until after dinner. I don't know if I should just ignore it or not, and I guess I might've been rude, so aita? Side note: my mom is a really sweet person and I know she loves me. Her only issue is that she's overbearing, but she's overall a pretty good mother in my opinion.",AITA for telling my mom she can't just go into someone's room and snoop?,NTA
10ust7y,"I (20F) am a junior in college and live with my parents. The issue happened yesterday between me and my dad (50M). I had to stay late on campus and my bf, just started dating, let me stay at his place for the second night in a row so I wouldn't have to make my long commute that late. He dropped me off at home in the morning and had breakfast with all of us. My dad has a few knives that he doesn't let anyone use, there's nothing sentimental about them, he just likes having a few knives of his own. That's completely fine and no one touches them, we use the many other knives we have. I was running around the kitchen and trying to get everything on the table quickly since we had a guest. There was a knife next to the already cut bread, so I assumed that's the knife they used to cut bread, and cut a few more pieces off. I truly did not notice that it was my dad's knife, it looks almost identical to the regular big knife we have, if I did, I wouldn't touch it.Fast forward to the end of the day when I'm already in bed and I hear screaming from the kitchen. Next thing I know is my dad comes into my room and asks if I used his knife, I told him that I don't think I did. He asked if I cut the bread that morning and that's when it hit me that it was his knife. I told him that I didn't notice which knife it was since I was running around and setting the table. I probably should've apologized right then and there but I didn't have the time. He started yelling at me about it, called me a moron, cursed me out, slammed the door and left. I kind of just froze and burst into tears, he very rarely raises his voice, let alone curses at any of us. He didn't speak to me this morning and hasn't said a word to me all day. I've been in my room doing schoolwork and honestly don't want to talk to him either. My mom told me that he just said it in the heat of the moment and didn't mean it, that his words don't cancel out any good things he's done. I know the don't, but it was incredibly hurtful. She suggested I apologize, I told her that I would if he didn't scream and curse at me.I heard her bring up the subject to him a few times today. More screaming every time it was brought up, just at her this time. I know I should've paid attention to which knife I grabbed but I just don't think that it warrants such a reaction. So, am I the asshole for not wanting to apologize?",AITA for not wanting to apologize to my dad after using his knife?,NTA
10uovga,"So I (22F) got married a few weeks ago to the love of my life (M24). We are together for 6 years know and have known each other for 11 years. He is catholic and believes in god. I bother other hand am neither in any religious organisation nor do I firmly believe in a god. I think maybe there is something bigger than us but I don’t know. My husband always wanted to have a church wedding to get the sacrament combined with it because it’s important for him. I have no aversions to faith or wishes like that and so we got a courthouse wedding just for us both and a big wedding at church. The pastor and the bishop (not sure if these are the appropriate translations) we’re fine with it, we were fine with it, so no harm right?Well sadly no. His uncle got super worked up during the reception. He asked If I was also catholic which I denied and told me I was an AH for stealing and using other peoples beliefs and traditions. He then left the reception with much drama and yelling.  I was always insecure about me not being religious while my husband is, and this pushed it a bit. Am I really an AH for fulfilling my husbands wish and getting married in church while not believing in god?",AITA for being married in a church,NTA
10uwojn,Here's a little back story.   In the beginning of  August I was approached by my best friend's mother who had custody of her grandchild. She can no longer handle her as she was being rebellious and acting like her biological mother. Her biological mother was not helping like she promised and grandma worked too much so she asked me if I could take her and I did. And I also has custody of her little sister who's 13 so big sister is 15.fast forward to Yesterday. I made plans with her mother to come see her at my home and spend time with her and she's supposed to be dropped off by one of her friends. Today she advised me that the plan have changed a little bit that her 1 friend who is picking her up wants her to visit there for a few hours and then she would come to my house for a few hours and then she would need me to drive her home which I agreed you. She also told me that she had her 13 year olds with her So that way the girls could see each other. Well she went to her friend's house and her oldest went over So she had longer with her sister and her mother. Well they're supposed to come to my house and have arrived as they knew that my toddlers go to bed starting the routine at 7 and end by 8. Well that was canceled and I had to go pick up the 15 year olds. When I went to pick up to 15 year old the mother thought that I would still drive her home after bailing  and not coming to my house to spend time with me or my other children so I told her no I am not driving her home. After I told her this her daughter had advised me that her mother had done nothing but talk s*** about me when she was there and said she had no plans of actually coming to my house. Girl is supposed to be my best friend since I was 13 years old.. Over 26 years friendship down the drain.  Feel bad for the 13 year olds who have schools tomorrow but I'm not gonna allow the mother to use me  And talk s***.  Her mom texted me and called me a bitch for not driving her.  I explained and she didn't care.,AITA for canceling a ride after being ditched,NTA
10uwo4w,"My (22f) childhood best friend (25f) became friends because our moms worked together so we were really close up until my senior year of highschool. We became distant before then because our moms had a very big big fallout (her mom was very rude and mean to my mom). I then began distancing myself a few years later (senior year of highschool,  2018) because she started having different point of views of things that she was being publicly threatened for and i did not want to be associated with someone who had those views. five years later she starts getting in touch with me and about things and we hung out once and it was weird and a few days later she asks to be a bridesmaid. At first i said yes but then things were getting planned and i just felt weird about the whole thing because we hadn't really spoke in 5 years??? so i told her the truth, i am happy for her and i would love to attend the wedding but it would be uncomfortable for me to be apart of it due to our distance in friendship and our moms' fallout. so am i the asshole for not being in her wedding?",AITA for not wanting to be apart my childhood best friend's wedding party?,NTA
10uzhfs,"hello, my (18F) boyfriend (17M) and I have been dating for a month know. I was an exchange student from Brazil going to Canada for 6 months in August of 2022. I met him at the beginning of my program and we ended up dating in the beginning of January after becoming super close. I came back to Brazil 2 weeks ago, and since then long-distance has been super hard on both of us, but we have strong feelings for each other, so we're going through with it.Recently, our plans of him visiting me in July changed as his dad refused to sign his passport for him to travel internationally alone, as he only turns 18 in September, so I decided to go visit him in July. July is the only month I can do this, as the rest of the year I'll be having preparatory classes to get into university, which are from monday to saturday and sometimes sundays. I plan on visiting for the month.I have a best friend (18F) from the states (let's call her Elizabeth), whom I've known for 7+ years, and we haven't seen each other since August. She got married to her 1 year long boyfriend, and now lives with him. Elizabeth was planning on visiting me this year, but we couldn't really find a time for that as July would be too expensive and other times I'll be too busy.I told her today I'd be visiting my boyfriend in July, and immediately she got pissed at me, claiming I was choosing him over her, that she'd never choose a man over me, invalidating my relationship as it's something new, and saying I'm a shit friend. I'm hurting a lot and crying over not being able to see and hug and kiss my boyfriend, and I desperately want to see him at any chance given, as I don't know when the next one will come.I told her I don't want to choose and that I'm not choosing anyone but myself, as I'm hurting a lot... She blocked me on everything and refuses to listen to me, but I was always there for her when she was hurting for her husband.so, AITA?Edit: my mistake! I haven't seen Elizabeth since August 2018!!","AITA for ""choosing"" my boyfriend?",NTA
10utp6p,"So, basically, I read a fic I didn't like. The writing was terrible, and I thought the characters are very OOC. But that's not the issue. I posted about it in my twitter circle (in case you don't know, because I didn't a few months ago, a feature that makes my tweets viewable to only select people), naming the fic and calling it unreadable because of the writing. Someone in the circle commented that I was being an arse because I was crapping on something which someone made for free. Which I completely understand. I don't write mean comments on fics I don't like, nor do I publicly name them and post about them. This was a PRIVATE group. It'd be just like going into a group chat with friends and talking shit about the fic there, which is completely normal thing to do. It's just like talking shit about a real person to your friends. You do it to vent, not to send hate to the person. I didn't tell anyone to send hate to the author, just voiced my opinion to a few people I like. I don't see how I'm the arsehole here.Also, the person who told me I was TA was a fan of the fic, which I think had something to do with their comment.So, AITA?",AITA for tweeting about a fanfic I don't like?,YTA
10tibnm,"We recently got 2 horses. My younger daughter (13f) wanted them as she's been learning to ride. My older daughter (17f) was against them, she's much more ""princessy"" and didn't want to deal with the mess and chores that come with horses, but we told her it wouldn't be something she'd have to deal with and that her younger sister promised to take care of all of it.Well, recently the older daughter has been disrespectful at home and staying out too late, and her grades have been slipping. We warned her to shape up, but last week when we heard that she'd been needlessly insulting to her younger sister while I was our running errands, I told her that she'd be cleaning out the stable each day for the next week as punishment, and that her sister would get a break.She got really upset and offended, and said we promised she'd never have to go in there or have to scoop horse poop. I said I promised it wouldn't be one of your chores, of course, but obviously a punishment is supposed to be something outside of your normal chores and something you won't like, and I thought it was perfectly fair here.She's been doing it three days now but seems to be very resentful of our ""broken promise,"" acting very disgusted, and keeps begging to get out of the rest of it. But I said I thought it's very fair and that she's overreacting.AITA?tl;dr Made older daughter clean stables as punishment despite saying she wouldn't have to, she thinks the punishment goes too far.",AITA for making our daughter (17f) clean our horse's stalls against her will?,YTA
10ufuer,"Had this heated argument with my SO just a few minutes ago. SO finally said he was too angry to keep discussing it and we should just drop it. I'm still PO'd so tell me, Reddit, who's AH here?We are in our 60s and have a big extended family scattered across the US, but no kids or grandkids of our own. We don't live near any of our family so we rarely see them in person but we keep in touch other ways.A few years ago my adult nephew and his girlfriend had a kid, Ethan. We get regular updates about Ethan via text, social media, etc, sometimes multiple times a day. Ethan is a delightful child, and we immediately fell in love with the boy. Watching him grow up is a real bright spot in our days.We aren't wealthy by any means but we have a little bit of extra money now and then, so whenever we can, we send Ethan presents. A book or toy every two weeks. Something bigger on special occasions. He gets presents from other family members, too, we're not the only ones.The issue is that my SO feels if we sent presents to Ethan, we should also be sending presents to Ethan's pre-teen half-sister (my nephew's girlfriend's child by a prior relationship) so she doesn't feel left out. And, he thinks we should be sending presents to other young relatives within our extended family across the US. (Most of whom we don't know because we have lost touch with most of these folks - it is only with Ethan's father that we are somewhat close, because he is good about sending updates.)'My SO's reasoning is that we should be sensitive to how all the other children might feel. He says they might be hurt if they see what we do for one child and feel left out.I told him, all these other children have their own relatives and friends who give them things, that we know nothing about, and that's fine because it's none of our business. I wouldn't dream of imposing on them on Ethan's behalf, telling them how to spend their money on children, so why should I feel obligated the other way around. It might be different if I were a super wealthy person who could afford to give presents to everybody Dolly Parton style, but I'm just an old lady doting on her great-nephew from afar.AITA?  EDIT: Someone suggested in the comments that I add this info to the post. Here are some details I didn't think to include earlier.The situation is somewhat complicated, from what I understand, but here's what I know.1. Ethan and his half-sister do not live together. The step-sister lives with her father. She visits her mother and Ethan occasionally, about every few weeks or so I think.2. My nephew and his girlfriend do not currently live together. I said ""girlfriend"" since it was simpler, but it seems more like an in-between state, not quite girlfriend and not quite ex. They are co-parenting as well as they can, that's all I know for sure.3. Ethan lives with his mother.",AITA giving presents to one kid and not their half-sibling and cousins,NTA
10utlbz,"Ok this is gonna be dumb lol but I was having a bad day already. I had a decently full cart and I got in the first lane I saw, not realizing the ""15 items or less"" sign was on (or I swear the guy turned it on while I was in line idk man.) I was loading my stuff on the belt with a barrier to the person in front of me's stuff, when I heard the man behind the woman behind me, lean up to her and say loudly ""she must have lost count or doesn't know how to cuz that doesn't look like 15 to me."" I immediately stopped, looked up, saw the sign, said ""shit! I'm so sorry!""  And started putting the stuff back, the annoyance growing a bit that he was so passive aggressive about it lol. But i feel bad so I'm trying to hurriedly put my stuff back, then he and the woman say ""no no no!"" And I was like ""it's no problem! Sorry about that 😬"" so the man huffs and says ""ugh, it's gonna take longer for you to put it back than it would have to just GO like you wanted to."" FOISTofall, no it wouldn't have, I'd put like 6 items on at that point. B. He waited til I started loading onto the belt to say that. 3, I didn't see and I felt bad! And D, I don't like your attitude. So, very annoyed now, I said ""ha. Nah. No. I'm leaving dude. :)""  I move over a lane and stand in that new long line. The man leans up to the woman again and is still gossiping about me LMAO, so I look at him like ????? and then he turns to her and loudly whispers ""SHES STARING AT ME."" Did I deserve that lol, truly. I am sorry!! I didn't see the sign but I get the annoyance! I know I'm extra defensive too so was I further wasting their time by removing my stuff and moving?","AITA for accidentally getting in 15 items or less lane, then leaving the lane when I realized?",NTA
10uszet,"Let me preface this by saying I love my dad. He was the main parent who supported me both in childhood and now.For some background:Three and a half months ago he went to the hospital for a surgery. It was supposed to take two weeks max until he would be able to get back home. It ended up taking almost three months. During that time, I was the only person in my household who could drive as my older brother, who lives at home, didn't pass his drivers test the first time he took it and was too nervous to retake it even though it's be at least a year and my mom is divorced from my dad and lives two hours away with my two little siblings, for which my dad gets placement every other weekend. This meant that every other weekend I had to drive home from college, 30ish minutes away, to pick up my siblings, get groceries for my brother, take my brother to work, drop off my siblings, etc. It was a lot but I made it to my winter break with minimal breakdowns.On to more recent events:My dad got back a week before Christmas and was home for almost a month when, due to some complications with his recovery, he had to go back to the hospital, this time for only two to three weeks, thank God. I wasn't at college during this time so while I had to the same things as last time, I wasn't dealing with midterms and finals. He got home again and all was well, or so I thought.Now the problem: According to his nurse who comes every mon/wed/Fri, he's doing to much around the house cleaning, driving, etc. He contacted me to ask if I could stop living in the dorms for potentially the rest of the semester to help him out at home, not dropping the semester, just being a full time commuter student, full time being minimum of 12 credits, I have 14. Helping him would consist of helping him with his wounds, doing housework, taking my brother to work, and picking up/dropping off my little siblings.After much deliberation, I decided to tell him no, helping him is much to much work on top of my school work and that the ask was just too big. He said that he didn't want to ask me and I that I was the last resort and if I had any solutions I could think of, tell him. I gave him a couple, which he seemed dissatisfied with, but held my ground. He does seem genuinely sorry that he had to ask but I'm still saying no.So I want to ask, am I the asshole?Edit:My older brother is 22, I am 19, my two little siblings are 13 and 9. I do not have a vehicle of my own and subsequently do not have an actual parking pass, meaning I have to buy a 25 dollar temporary one every week I would have the vehicle. My older brother currently lives with my dad, who has started getting groceries delivered. My brother works 3 to 4 days a week for roughly 5 hours each",AITA because I said no to helping my dad?,NTA
10uh689,"I'm learning Japanese and am using an app called Tandem currently where I can meet people from Japan online and chat with them. Most people use their own picture for their profile so I should as well. The issue is I'm a bit chubby, and wear glasses, which has seemed to make most people filter me out.Even when I wrote people on my own they would call me mean Japanese terms for chubster, and make fun of me for only learning Japanese because of anime (which is true but it's really not relevant at all).So I looked up some pictures of handsome guys online and then went with the picture of a male model called Jordan Barrett instead. I thought they'd assume anyway that that wasn't mine actually. However this seems not to be the case and suddenly I got a lot of messages from women, many asking if I wanted to practice together and have videocall, some complimenting me on my looks and asking if I was taken. I found this quite superficial but I did play a long with it to practice. I met one girl I seemed to get along with really well so eventually I agreed to have a videocall. When she saw me in the video she got upset with me and claimed I had been leading her on, even though I hadn't. When I asked if we could continue to practice she said I had betrayed her and she had lost interest in studying. AITA? All I wanted was to be given a fair chance and not be judged based on my looks",AITA for using a model's picture instead of my own on an app for studying together?,YTA
10uy6al,"Hey guys, so I'll give a little context before I begin, I was in a two-year relationship with my first-ever girlfriend. She was a year older than me 22 at the time and I'm 21. We had our ups and downs but overall I had a good time. We recently broke up and I haven't been able to let go, so here is my story.About six months ago she had asked me for a fancy ring, to which I asked why she was asking for such a present well I couldn't afford it. We had a big fight, where she said I called her materialistic(I never did) and for me to never get her anything again. I ignored that because how could I not give my girlfriend gifts?Christmas comes around and I proceed to get some of my savings and buy a ring, I'm not going to get into details but it was a lot for me, I didn't have enough left over to get my parents anything or my sister. She told me that she was struggling to her parents a present so I help her out and framed a family picture of them. I showed up on Christmas eve with my gifts, to my surprise, she told me she was sorry and that my gift hadn't arrived. I was upset but took it in, I didn't want to ruin Christmas. I had to go home so she opened her present later that night and was amazed by it, she loved it, I was so happy but kinda sad I hadn't gotten anything.The days go by and my gift arrives, I go to her house to get it, she's getting ready for dinner and tells me that it's in the closet, I go and open it, it was 4 pairs of socks (ones with designs on them, which I like but I was expecting more) my reaction wasn't the best and I went like ""you got me socks?"","" is this a joke?"". Everything went south from there, her mom came in and she told her that I didn't like my gift, I said I did like it but they're socks, and she was very angry, I tried on a pair and she stowed the rest away. We had a family dinner so I went with her but I was speechless, I kept my word about going and acted normal, there was a party afterward. On our way there I proceeded to apologize for my reaction and tried to make things right, she exploded on me, saying that I was expecting a gift of the same price as the ring, calling me ungrateful it was terrible, she said that she wanted to go home. I took her home and she told me to wait in the car she came back down and threw the ring I gave her in the car stating she didn't want it anymore. I tried to fix things but I couldn't get her to understand that I just wanted to see some effort.This ultimately ended in her distancing herself from me for like three weeks, she then texted me saying I deserved to talk to her, where I apologized again and thanked her for the times we had. She never thought she did anything wrong, I asked her for the socks as I wanted to keep them as a memory to stay humble but she returned them for her money back. She then said I was transactional and always expecting things in return, but all I wanted was reciprocity. I'm satisfied with who I was with her, but doubt that I was a bad person.",AITA for expecting more from my girlfriend's Christmas present,NTA
10v3t9r,"So for context, i am a really emotional  person. (As in I cry really easily). When people talk bad about me, it doesn’t always get to me. But when it comes to my family, i get really upset when they do. My parent likes to remind me about my acne and acne treatments as well as exercise and diets even though I told them I have a difficult relationship with food and I am trying to improve it. They call me “lazy” for not being fit even though i  try my best and exercise and I am in the basketball team. It felt as though none of the conversations we had had anything positive about me, and always had something to do with my acne, laziness or something bad about me. When I told them while crying(i couldn’t help it) that I don’t want them to talk about it so often because I’m trying and said that it was mean, they were really upset and said that I am oversensitive. And said that it is important to remind me of what to improve on, which I added that they could be more constructive and not mean. I genuinely just wanted to talk to them and not offend them. I said that it hurts coming from them not the comment in general. They wouldn’t let me talk and is spreading false stories around.they said I disrespected them. Am i wrong?And what do y’all think I should do. HAHA IM SO SORRY IM ASKING PEOPLE ON REDDIT TO HELP ME.",WIBTA if i asked my parent this?,NTA
10usc8g,"My ex likes to get around a lot. Before we started dating a few of our friends would make bets on how long he would be with a woman as a joke. They temporarily stopped while we were dating as I was his longest relationship by far but now that we’re broken up and he’s seeing somebody new they’ve started placing bets on how long it’ll last again.I found out about the bet because they asked me if I thought he had changed and how long I thought he would be with his current girlfriend. Somebody told him and his girlfriend that I placed a bet so now she’s mad at me.I’m the only one she keeps picking fights with even though at least 6 other people also placed bets. She thinks I’m jealous and that I’m hoping they’ll break up which isn’t true. Even after I and another friend explained that this is just a running joke in our friendship group she still won’t get over it.My ex knows all about the bets and has always joked about it in the past too. He hasn't really said anything to me about it this time, besides to let me know I wasn't going to win. So… AITA?",AITA for participating in the bet on how long my ex’s new relationship would last?,YTA
10uu0ad,"Please excuse me for any formatting issues. This is my very first post.  I have (26/F) and my husband (25/M) moved to our current town a few years ago together. We recently just moved into a very nice apartment with the help of a friend my husband made here (29/M) in July. In Aug that same friend (29/M) asked to crash on our couch until he left for the military, which was about a month out (mid Sept). We agreed because he’s a cool dude and helped us move. A week before his ship date I could tell he was acting differently, almost as if he was extremely stressed. He admitted to me that the idea of joining the military was daunting, and 2-3 days before his ship date he ended up backing out. This was all very understandable to us. I told him I would be scared to a degree as well and that he shouldn’t feel pressured to do anything he doesn’t feel comfortable doing. He then asked us could he stay until early December, to which we agreed.    When December came he left to go be with his family for most of the month, but then returned at the end of the month and didn’t say anything about him moving. Only that now he was looking into joining a different branch of the military. This annoyed me because 1) he seems to have forgotten that he was supposed to leave in early December and 2) he never even asked could he stay longer. If he would’ve asked I probably wouldn’t be as upset.        January rolls around and he begins to annoy me even more. We live in a 1 bd 1bth apartment, and our bathroom is in our room. He will go in the bathroom for 2 hours to “stretch” leaving us unable to use our own bathroom. We have to knock several times for him to come out. He also took our clothes out the washer and put them on top of the dryer to wash his clothes.    Now it is feb and he told my husband that the recruiter is still on leave so he has to wait. At this point I want him gone and to have full use of my apartment. He seems to no longer have any plans of leaving anytime soon ( I’m not too sure this different branch of the military thing will even pan out) and it’s been 5+ months of him sleeping on our couch FOR FREE. Even if he starts the enlistment process it’s going to take at least a month ( just like last time) for him to be shipped out. Would I be the asshole for telling him to leave by the end of the month? (Feb 28th) My issue is that his plans kept changing and now his plans are up in the air. Also that he didn’t even bothered to ask could he stay for  the end of December, for any of January, and now seems to have invited himself to stay all of Feb. We’ve allowed him to stay here for 5 months for free because we care about him. He’s been working the entire time so we know he has money for his own place.EDIT: we’ve known him for over a year. He helped us move in July of 2022 and then asked in Aug of 2022 could he crash on our couch until mid September of 2022. It is now Feb 2023 and he is still here with little to no plans of leaving any time soon. Sorry for the lack of explanation.",AITA for wanting my significant other’s friend to leave our home?,NTA
10ukjor,"Ok so to give a little bit of back story, my step mom helped me get a car when I first got my G1 licence. I got the car November 2021, a 2012 Hyundai Elantra priced at 2000$ (got it from a family friend) and it was put under her name because I couldn’t get it insured until my g2. So the quickest way was to put it in her name.My first payment on the car was 1600$ and my step mom helped me pay the rest, this included fixing the car up, safety, plates and other up keep things (total came up to around 7gs)I just recently finished paying off what I owed her in December 2022.. she refuses to put the car in my name when I get my G2 And during the payment process, kept adding on money, doing things to the car without asking me and adding the expenses to my bill, in April of 2022 she demanded 1200$ from me in less then 2 months knowing full well that I only make about 400$ a month or less because I’m in school and can only work weekends. Her justification to this was “well your term was up” but there was never a verbal or written agreement of this She drives it all the time (more then I have and like it’s her own vehicle) and expects me to continue paying insurance, and up keep that she is causing my car to need. Along with letting others drive it I’m starting to get sick and tired of it and I finally lost my shit and let off on her… telling her that she never actually helped me and only caused stress and that I should be allowed my car in my name and to be left to make the decisions on when where and how my car is getting fixed etc …Personally I don’t think I’m in the wrong for losing my shit, but now I’m at a loss of what I can do :/",AITA for losing it over my car situation,NTA
10u5n2c,"My husband, Jim and I have an almost 3 month old baby boy, Dev. Jim is a perfectionist and lately he's been frustrated because he feels I'm slacking on staying on top of things around the house and tells me there's no excuse for the house to not stay immaculate at all times.Dev is the best baby, but he does not sleep at night. My 3rd trimester was rough, and it's been nearly 6 months since I've slept through the night. Dev is breastfed, so I do all the overnights with him while Jim sleeps, he typically gets 8-10 hours of sleep per night. I also take care of Dev during the day. Jim takes Dev for an hour or so when he gets home and I use that time to try and rush to catch up on chores so Jim and I don't argue.Jim is quick to point out when i don't do something, for ex: in the kitchen I'll wash dishes, clean the stove, wipe counters and table, organize pantry, sweep the floor, but I won't have the energy to mop. Instead of acknowledging all I do around the house, Jim constantly points out what i don't do: I see you can't be bothered to mop the floor. Must be nice to do nothing all day. I wish I could stay home and be lazy. You have no excuse for this! (And it goes like that across all the household chores.)I try to explain to Jim I'm constantly exhausted, I'm dealing with chronic pain issues, ehlers danlos, osteoarthritis, pots, mcas, gastroparesis, and neuropathy. Plus I've struggled on and off for years with anxiety, depression and ptsd. (I have a therapist.) Jim points out that when he's at home he does his share of the chores with no problem and he works full time, so me being home all day means I should be able to do everything just by myself and take the stress off him.When Jim gets mad he gets very snarky too. He'll ask me if I capable of taking care of Dev since I'm obviously inept at taking care of the house. Says he hopes I don't neglect Dev like I neglect my other responsibilities. That he will take Dev and leave if I don't get my act together and start doing better. And it goes on.I finally got fed up and snapped at Jim to shut up and leave me alone. That he gets actual sleep every night and has far more energy than I do. I'm doing my best and I'm sorry it's not good enough, but please leave me alone about it.Jim got upset and accused me of attacking him when he's just trying to help and make sure I don't forget what needs to be done. And he doesn't know if he wants to stay in a relationship with someone who attacks him that way and clearly doesn't care about anything in life.AITA?",AITA for snapping at my husband?,NTA
10uz109,"Ok so I ( 15m ) was forced into a musical by my brother and mom, but that's a whole story in itself. In this musical there are only 2 people who bring the whole thing down as in profomence and mood of others. Seid people are A and Z (insane coincidence) the only one who matters in this story is A. A for lack of a better term is nuts. The following are a handfull of storys from the cast. 1: She came up to a specific person and started meowing. 2: went up and sat next to a group of about 10 people in the cast and seid "" I don't know why no one wants to be my friend "" 3: seid to a 14 year old that she had "" a vary punchabull face"" And lastly, dose anime poses out of nowhere. I also forgot to mention that A is 17 years old but like 5 feet tall. Now here is the part where I think I might be an AH. We were sitting next to each other right before we ran through a song. I also normally where contacts but wore my glasses today. This is the convocation that transpired.A: I didn't know you wore glasses Me : yeah I was just too lazy to put my contacts in today A: yeah its amazing how glasses can make someone look less Homophobic Me: ( extremely confused ) what is that suppose to mean? A: well you always where trucker hats, you're wearing camo and you have blond hair.Me: ( takes of hat ) no I have brown hair. And-A: well its kind of blond.Me: no its not!Then the song started and the conversation ended. This stuck with me and it made me more and more angry. Partly because I am currently in the closest about being BI and secondly the audacity of her just assuming that of me. Practice ended about an hour later and while waiting for my mom to pick me and my brother and my friend up, this friend ( who was the 14 year old who's face is apparently so punchabull ) was talking to me and I was ranting about A because of what she seid. My friend told me I should go tell her off and eventually I did. I found her with about 5 other cast mates in the back room of the stage. I went up to her and seid "" hey A, for the record I find it vary offensive that you would put someone into that stereotype without even knowing anything about them"". A friend of mine was there and she was sitting next to A and started telling me to come here. I just seid. "" nope my mom is here, I gotta go"" and left. Now that it's seid and done I'm starting to feel bad because i don't know her ether, or maybe she ment it a different way. Idk maybe it's because I'm non confrontational and I'm just not used to fighting back. Idk reddit. AITA?",AITA for getting angry at someone who called me Homophobic because of my looks?,NTA
10uim7b,"I feel like I'm being made out to be the bad guy, but I feel like I didn't do anything wrong, just need some outside opinions. Sorry if this is long and drawn out, also for any formatting issues, on mobile.So, one of my good friends' wedding was at the end of August 22. It was a quickly planned wedding (started planning around late February/early March, as far as I know). I was asked to be a groomsmen, but then in like April or May, he advised us that we have to pay around $250 each for a tuxedo but just to rent it. I thought I was able to cover mine, but I realized over time that I wouldn't be able to as I have been basically living paycheck to paycheck, even after switching jobs in May, I have a little more wiggle room but still having to catch up on bills and whatnot, I'm still running tight on finances, on top of my fiance leaving her job for personal reasons.I told my friend in late June/early July that I'm not going to be able to afford the rental, he said he understood and said he would try to help me. I just want to add that he was fired from his job back in February, then picked up another job, granted it was lower paying, but he was laid off from that job at the start of July, so he hasn't had a full time job since then. I didn't want to burden him with trying to help me, so I just advised I would still be at the wedding, just not a groomsmen. About a week or so after that, both him and his wife-to-be messaged me, basically guilt tripping me about coming to the wedding to be a groomsmen. I got annoyed and told them fine, I'll try my best. I went to get measured and paid a $20 deposit, but as the next few weeks progressed, more things came up for me, so I definitely was not able to afford it and I told him so.  He told me that one of our other friends, the Best Man, would pay for the remaining balance of my rental. I felt bad and told him not to do that, but he insisted and said our friend is doing it for him as a wedding gift, so I understood. After the ceremony, we took pictures of everyone and then did the reception, which started around 5:30-6pm. I left around 7:30pm. as my knee was killing me from a recent injury and was just super exhausted. I said my goodbyes and thought everything was OK. Then the next morning he sent me a message telling me that he felt disrespected since I left early, and some people were upset by it, and told me to ""man it up"" about my issues (there were other issues that I explained to him but I don't want to explain here). I got pissed about that, and explained myself my side of things, then told him I think it would be best if we took a break from our friendship for a while, so I can get my stuff straightened out and he can as well. I haven't got a reply and my fiance is on my side. No one is telling me otherwise, but I just feel bad and want to know if I was really the jerk for leaving early and worh everything leading up to the event. So, AITA?",AITA for leaving a friend's wedding a bit early?,YTA
10uv922,"I (22m) called my grandma this morning to wish her a happy birthday while I was out getting my taxes filed. We traded the usual joke we do every year that she's just turning 40 instead of her actual age.We talked for a bit, and I noticed that she didn't sound like she was feeling well. I asked if she was okay, and she told me that she was feeling sick and that we could just wait to see if she's feeling better tomorrow, THEN go out to celebrate her birthday. This was at about 10am. I told her I loved her, that I hope she feels better soon, and went home.She called me at about 7:30pm and went on a rant, saying that I ""blew her off"" and that she'd been waiting for me to show up to her house so we could have a pie she was going to bake. I didn't say anything (I have trouble speaking up during arguments, and I was really confused), and she continued, talking about how she's done so much stuff for me and for other people but that she's ""done doing shit for anybody"" and passive-aggressively told me to have a good night.At that point, I was angry instead of confused, and I hung up. Then I sent her a text, saying ""you told me you weren't feeling well and that we could celebrate tomorrow. I'm not a fucking mind reader"".She's responded, but I still haven't looked at it.I'm still just so confused and upset because I hate fighting with her, but I have no idea what she might’ve said during our earlier phone call that was supposed to imply that she still wanted me to visit her today, but with just how angry she was, I guess it's possible I may have missed some kind of hint.AITA?EDIT: I read her responses. She's convinced that because I promised her THE OTHER DAY that I would visit her for her birthday (before she got sick and we had our conversation this morning), that means I should have visited her regardless, and then went on to say that she's ""fucking done"" and to ""not bother"" calling her.",AITA For Not Going To My Grandmother's For Her Birthday?,NTA
10v3ld9,"My (29m) mother died in September 2021, it was all very sudden and a huge shock for all of us. She was only 56. Her death has hit me very hard because I was already in a depression before she died and her death obviously didn’t help. She was the only family member that I felt close with. I‘m not particularly close with my sister (32f) and very disconnected with my father (56m). I‘m slowly realizing that he was borderline abusive in my childhood with his huge anger he always expressed towards me. He‘s also not very emotional except anger, very contrary to me. My mother mentioned a few times throughout her life that she’d like the idea of her ashes being scattered in the Grand Canyon when she dies. Where I live, the family usually doesn’t receive tje ashes after cremation, they need to be buried. We managed to get a portion of the ashes though. So now the family has organized a huge family trip to the US that‘s supposed to last 3 weeks. The US are on the other side of the Atlantic so it‘s a very expensive and stressfull journey. They all don’t mind because they enjoy such holidays which I really don’t. I‘m never longer away than a week, and even that is rare.At first I obviously accepted to join, with my mother in mind. But now that the trip is comming closer and closer my fear of this trip is getting bigger and bigger. I‘m literally still afraid of my father even though his behaviour towards me changed a lot when I moved out and started my own life. We have respect for each other, but I honestly don’t feel love towards him and we never talked about any emotions at all and he never expressed much understanding towards my emotions that I mostly kept hidden (he doesn’t know I have depression and tried to hide that as much as possible, I don’t feel comfortable sharing it with him and I never thought it would be a good idea, same for my sister). My family organised it economically so i‘ll mostly share hotelrooms with my father which is terrifying to me. For no other reason than the past. He doesn’t get angry anymore since my mother passed. I‘m a homeboy and my privacy, my living space and my close friends are the most important things in my life that give me strength and help me through my chronic depression. I‘d be disconnected from that for 3 weeks, no escape, in a very stressful environment to open a closing wound of losing my mother. Now I want to tell them that I won’t join them after all. Maybe it‘s weak? They surely won’t like it. I‘d leave the memory of my mother to them and opt out because of my own emotions and disregard my fathers and sisters. WIBTA?",WIBTA if I won‘t be there when my family scatters my mothers ashes?,NTA
10uiir4,"My (27F) and my boyfriend (30M) go to a local strip club for date night sometimes. It’s a really fun chill atmosphere (jazzy lounge vibes not a club) and the girls are super pretty and nice. I’m bisexual so it’s just a great time for everyone involved. I have a close friend group of other queer women (25F and 24F) and when I told them about how great this place is they really wanted to check it out. We’ve been tentatively planning a “girls night out” to the club for some time. It came up with my partner today and when I said “girls night” he said “oh so I can’t some?” And got really offended. I was totally shocked because, while he has spent some time around this group, I kind of assumed it would be understood that he shouldn’t go. I tried to explain to him that not all women feel comfy expressing their sexuality around other men and I felt that his presence would throw off the vibe. Like if we go, it’s more of a fun horny but having him there it would be too genuinely sexual. He just couldn’t get that my friends wouldn’t feel comfortable with him there. I wouldn’t go to a strip club if it was just him and his friends (unless someone else brought their gf maybe). I wasn’t expecting to have to explain why women aren’t comfortable around men and I did it poorly. I feel bad and I could have chosen my words better. He ended up really hurt and upset. I apologized but he still is genuinely mad that he doesn’t get to come to girls night at the strip club. Am I the asshole for excluding him? Tl;Dr I told my boyfriend he couldn’t come to girls night at the strip club with my friends and he got genuinely hurt. AITA?",AITA for telling my boyfriend he can’t come to a strip club with me and my friends?,NTA
10v01e9,"I was getting ready for high school this morning. I usually eat breakfast, get dressed and leave. I have a schedule to leave my house to get to high school at 8:25-8:30 every weekday \[The drive to school takes around 10 minutes and class starts at 8:45\]. Only issue is that me and my family usually wake up around 8AM, most of the time I have only 45 minutes to get ready and get to school.At first, 45 minutes sounds like enough time for me to get to school considering I get driven there. Only issue is I am slow at getting my clothes on. Usually buttoning up my shirt takes me longer than it should \[I don't know why I struggle with buttoning up my shirt's buttons\].I made myself a coffee. I decided to get dressed as fast as I could while my coffee cools off \[I was dressing up quickly so I could drink my coffee and get to school on time\]. By the time I got dressed there was probably roughly around five minutes before I had to leave, to get to school on time. I ran to the kitchen, got my coffee and attempted to drink it quickly. My mum was in the kitchen and started to talk to me. I quickly put my coffee down so that I could talk to my mum before leaving. Since I quickly put down the cup of coffee, it spilled out of the cup and got on my shirt. My mum instantly got angry at me for getting coffee on my shirt. She demanded I change my shirt and leave the house to get to school.I changed my shirt. All I had to do now was put on my shoes and go to school. When I finished putting my shoes on it was exactly on time to leave. My mum has this idea that since I leave right on the last minute of my schedule, I will be late. She sometimes gets mad at me for being slow and leaving right on the last minute of my ""time to leave"".Since my mum was angry, she went on a rant about how I was too slow and did not care. ""You are good at using your fingers for gaming but for doing stuff"" \[By ""Stuff"" she meant ""Daily Tasks such as getting dressed for School\]. Then after my mum went on her daily ""You only care about video games rant"" she proceeded to call me a ""narcissist"".After my mum called me a ""narcissist"" I laughed my head off. Not a sarcastic laugh but a full ""laugh out loud"". It was not on purpose, I accidentally laughed. Reason I laughed is because of how my mum completely missed using the word ""narcissist"". How am I a narcissist for taking a while to put my clothes on?My mum got infuriated at me for laughing. Yelling from a different room about how I have a ""bad mouth"" for laughing at her. I left the house and went off to high school. My dad seemed to be on ""my side"" claiming that my mum ""Attacks people but then acts like the victim when the person defends themselves"" \[By ""attack"" he means verbally not physically\]. I wondered if I was being a asshole since I got my mum angry.AITA for laughing at my mum, with the context provided?",AITA for laughing at my mum?,NTA
10v1h6a,"Update: after reading a few comments I realize I overreacted. We did enjoy the rest of our time and saying I wouldn't do it ever again was probably not a good way to go. I will apologize to him and well talk about what was really going on. Like a couple of you mentioned it's possible that there was a bit more to his frustration and well figure it out. Thanks for the advice. I was feeling really hurt and unappreciated at the time. I see now how he must have felt, I was only seeing from my POV and hadn't thought about his. An apology with him will likely go a long way to fixing things. But I really don't think I'll be planning another trip like this for a while. Someone pointed out our time differences and normally that's not an issue. My anxiety played a huge role in the sleep thing. And my explosive reaction to his comment. I do love him and we usually get along great. And maybe I should have tried harder to stay up longer. Thanks again everyone. I (35f) and my husband (37m) recently had a weekend getaway that we won in a raffle. I noticed he was struggling with stress with our four kids and decided to use our prize. So I secretly set up with family for them to take the kids and took off some vacation time for the occasion. Then the weekend before I surprised him with it. He didn't really seem excited but he's not ever really been one to show excitement about things so I wasn't upset by that. The problem began the first day we were there. I work 12 hour shifts and have major anxiety issues. So the day before we left I hardly slept and got up at 1pm, 5 hours before my shift, worked a whole 12 hours, came home helped pack the kids up and get them where they were supposed to go. Then we stopped and got dinner. We brought it to the place we were staying and ate. After we ate I got super tired. By this point I hadn't slept in 29 hours. I asked if I could take a nap and he said yes. After a 4 hour nap I got up and went to hang out with him and he was being quiet and didn't want to talk. That's when I asked him what his deal was. He said he was upset that I hadn't been spending time with him and I got super mad at him. I told him I regret making these plans, and let me just say it was a serious pain to get rid of four kids for two days, and I would never be doing that again. He got up and walked outside for a bit. I went and took a shower and he was back by the time I got out. He'd calmed down by then and because I didn't want to spend the rest of our time fighting I just let it go for the time being. When we went to get our kids he said he enjoyed the time and wanted to do it again sometime and I said I wasn't interested. I told him he could set something up for himself but I wouldn't have anything to do with it and that it was totally unfair how he acted about me taking a nap after all the effort I put into making it happen. (I had a hard time getting work to give me the time off) and he's been really quiet since then. I don't think I did anything wrong or am wrong for not wanting to do it again. So AITA??Edit to add: there was a little more to our argument than just that but I feel it's not necessary to post. And I don't have enough room to totally explain how hard it was to make this work out. We've been on a bit of a rough patch and I was hoping so so hard that this would help and the first thing we did together was fight. It just doesn't make me want to do it again, at least not anytime soon. Maybe I shouldn't have said never, but I was hurt and angry and I felt my efforts were totally unappreciated.",AITA for telling my husband I wouldn't be making nice plans for us ever again?,ESH
10uj5xb,"Some backstory first, I travel a lot for work and this happened while I was away for about a week. My girlfriend has social anxiety and recently had a medical incident that require some medication that she is now withdrawaling from, this can cause some increased irritation. My old FB picture was of the two of use but was about 2yrs old and I've changed my facial hair and lost some weight since then.Now that you've got that information here's the event. While away for work someone took a photo of the group and I thought I looked good in it. We work outside and I had been wearing a helmet so my hair was pressed flat and not how I usually wear it. I sent her the photo and she said it was ""nice"" but got mad at me about not wearing sunglasses in the picture to avoid snow blindness, she got very angry about this and said some mean things out of nowhere. I was surprised by this because she isn't normally like that. I managed to settle that over text and went about my day.When I showed the photo to my colleges I got some compliments. So on our lunch break I cropped the photo so it was just me and changed my profile picture, then went back out to work again.Four hours later she texted me saying that she didn't realize I planned to change my profile picture. She was upset and said that it wasn't a good enough photo to be a public profile picture, and that I violated the trust in our relationship by not going to her about it first.She went on to tell me how she showed the picture to her mother and some of her female friends and they all said it wasn't a nice photo. She said that her social anxiety was causing her to get really worked up about how the photo was public. I felt really shitty because I actually really liked the picture, so hearing that hurt. I also felt bad about upsetting her. In the end I spoke with her on the phone after work and she was crying. She apologized for being mean about it but stood by what she said and explained how the medication withdrawal was taking a toll.She also said that I should have know better then to change from a picture of us to one of just me after we had an argument earlier that day (I never really saw it as an argument).In the end I tried to comfort her but she is still upset and feels guilty about being mean. I'm heading home today so I'm sure we'll talk about it in person. But was I an asshole for changing my profile picture without talking to her about it?",AITA for changing my FB profile picture without talking to my girlfriend first?,NTA
10us893,"something tells me I’m TA but also not so the only way I’ll know is through the help of strangers on the internet.I’m a 16YR boy, turning 17. My sister, who is the same age (we’re twins) has her own room, bigger than mine. we grew up sharing everything, including clothes, bathrooms, and bedrooms. I recently had gotten my own bedroom no longer than about a year ago.I’m assuming she’s not use to the whole “separate” rooms thing still because she’ll still go into my room and take my clothes. My room is tiny compared to hers so I got my own bathroom as well so she’ll go in there and use my stuff. I brought this up to my mom and she said that she is still adjusting to the change. the only issue I’m having is the fact that she’s ALMOST 17, she’s not 15 anymore so shouldn’t she know how to ask? I talked to her as well and I said, “Sister, I would appreciate it if you could ask to borrow my stuff, especially my clothes.” I don’t want to sound mean but she is bigger than me, not overweight but a couple sizes up (I’m a L and she’s a 2X) so she’ll end up stretching my clothes and I have a difficult time finding stuff in my size because it is either such a common size or the stuff is genuinely ugly. She said that it’s because she is “fat” and I’m discriminating against her. I said that wasn’t the case and that she is welcome to borrowing my stuff but I would appreciate it if she could ask. She ran to my mom crying and now my mom thinks i’m the bad guy. I don’t even bother bringing it up to my dad because knowing him, he doesn’t know anything based on this matter. so, AITA?",AITA for asking my sister to not touch my stuff without my permission?,NTA
10uth2n,"A bit of context: wife is busy trying to advance her career, I have been nothing but supportive because I believe in her and she deserves to see her dreams come true. I take care of a large chunk of things at home (all the cooking, dishes, cleaning, chores, errands). I also help with work-related things, since we are in similar fields. There is one thing where I do not have acting power: when I moved in with her, she did not want to modify the lease so I am not officially on it, and I never had any contact with the landlady. My wife rented here for 13 years, and she always deals with the owner (who is a very nice, kind and polite person who takes care of the property when needs arise). However, she does not want to ""disturb"" the landlady when house maintenance is needed. Case in point, there is a leak from the upstairs bathroom (above the dining room) that has been going on for two years now: the upper part of a wall is bulging, and in the past months it got worse as water occasionally drips from a ceiling lamp, and from some small holes that appeared on the ceiling. I kindly asked my wife to contact the landlady and let her know about this, several times, and every time she would tell me: ""Now I am busy but after this ""*insert deadline*"" I will call her"". After the deadline, I would gently inquire with her and she would find another excuse. I do not feel I put pressure, as I accept her explanation and just wait. I offered to get in touch with the landlady and handle it myself, but my wife refused it. I have no skills to fix it, and even so or if I pay a contractor, we need the approval of the owner anyway.Fast forward to today: wife is hunting for jobs, with two interviews next month, so I should know better to be careful, however as we were taking a stroll in the hills, I thought about the water leakage (few days ago we placed cups under the holes cause the dripping is more frequent). I thought we talked in January, and she told me that in February she will contact the landlady but I was uncertain (after we had a similar conversation in November and she promised end of December). I asked her ""I seem to remember you telling me that in February you will contact the landlady"". Reply: ""No, I told you March or April"". Me: ""Oh, I am sorry, I remembered it wrong. Ok, March or April is fine"". To me the conversation ended there, but I realized that she was giving me the silence treatment. After some brewing, she lashed out, at first trying to get back at me and point out my ""poor planning and communication on the itinerary of our walk today"", and shaming me how ""I withheld information"", and then she got pissed on ""how in your right mind would you think to ask such a question, knowing how much stress I am under? Why would you put this pressure on me?"". She was enraged but I thought I did not deserve a scolding.AITA to deserve such a reaction for asking a question concerning house repair I am worried about, even though my wife is under pressure?",AITA for asking a clarification question to my wife regarding house repair during a stressful period without realizing the pressure she would feel?,NTA
10uinvc,"I woke up this morning to find my fridge door all the way open. Everything in the fridge was room temperature, so the damn thing was open for hours. This isn’t the first time this has happened… in the last 3 months, this is the fifth time I’ve found the fridge open with all of the food spoiled in it. In total I’ve thrown away a couple hundred dollars worth of groceries. Seeing the fridge open yet again, instantly triggered me. I yelled out “Are you fucking kidding me” and slammed the fridge door shut. I opened my roommates door and told him. His response sent me over the edge. He responded with a sly “It wasn’t me”. Side note, I went out to eat last night and I’m 100% certain I didn’t open the fridge I came home and went straight to sleep. When I brought this up he replied with: “Well, before you go throwing everything out it wasn’t open that long. An hour tops. It’s not like I did it on purpose.” I was livid. I slammed my door and went to my room to gather myself.After a couple minutes…. I came out to throw away all of my food yet again. The butter was so warm it was practically melted… open an hour my ass. The fridge was open for hours. I slammed all the food into a trash bag and handed him the butter to call his bluff. All this time, I had no idea his girlfriend was in his room. I yelled at a 30 year old grown ass man in front of his girlfriend. I’m tired of wasting food and money",AITA for snapping on my roommate in front of his girlfriend?,NTA
10u9k0y,"My husband told me that he wants to run a disco-themed party from 10am Friday morning until 4pm Saturday afternoon in our house and people have to pay for invites to come, he said he'd be getting a good Spotify/Alexa/YouTube playlist and bulk-buying food, be it Pringles, Lay's, WISE chips, M&M's, Skittles, cakes, nachos, burritos etc. and it'd be a great idea.He said all the money raised would be split 50:50 between a local Down's Syndrome charity and an autism charity in the area.I told him there and then this was NOT acceptable in our house and that if he wanted to do it, why not hire a venue like a warehouse or AirBNB apartment?But he insisted, it's a house party and said Dad did this in their house, when my husband was about 11 years old and that Dad had locals attending and the money was donated to a cancer charity back then and he felt he had to copy this; Dad raised $5,000 back then in 1995.I feel very hinky about the idea, but he's insistent we try it.I'm a mom to a 13-year-old autistic daughter who'd feel frightened AF if she saw this as she's not used to big parties.I've told him no, again and again, but AITA here for telling him no house parties?",AITA for telling my husband his disco party in our house is a no-go?,NTA
10urwol,"I am F 36, my brother is 38, my sister is 40, my dad is 72.    When I was 26-27 I pitched the idea of a family vacation multiple times.  Everyone was on board (including my mom who has since passed) but my sister couldn’t afford it at the time so we didn’t go since not everyone was able to make it.  That was fine with me.       In 2019 I did a road trip for 4 days just me and my dad (my mom passed the year before). My brother and sister had other travel plans around the same time so they didn’t come. My sister and I have road tripped just the two of us before as well.    Yesterday my sister mentioned she and my dad were thinking of doing a 2 week road trip this summer and I thought that was awesome, I was happy that my dad would be getting out of the house and having another adventure since my mom passed. Today I found out that it’s actually all three of them - brother, sister, and dad - that are planning to go.  I couldn’t help but feel hurt and left out.  They know I work a job that will not allow me much time off in the summer and my schedule doesn’t come out until 6 weeks in advance.  They didn’t even ask me to go. I was fine with just two of them going but it hurts when it is everyone but me, considering in the past we didn’t do family vacations when not everyone could make it.  When my dad told me they were all going he could sense my mood changed from being happy for them to hurt and upset. He said he thought I would be fine with it and I pointed out that years ago we wanted to go on vacation but didn’t because it wouldn’t be fair to exclude someone but to go ahead and do what they want. He said they just wouldn’t go anymore and that it’s off the table if it makes me feel like this.   I’m wondering if I’m the asshole - am I being childish? Am I too old to feel hurt by being excluded like this? I don’t want to prevent my dad from having an adventure.  Should I just try to get over it? Also, it would be difficult to reschedule for a time that would work for all of us - my sister is a teacher and has summers/holidays off where I work a job where summer/holidays are the hardest to get off.",AITA for being upset that my family wants to go on vacation without me?,NTA
10uvfq6,"\*Throwaway account\* I (21 F) used to have a good relationship with my bio dad (48 M) up until around when I turned 12. He and my mom split when I was 1 because my dad was an idiot, and could barely hold down a stable job (he was 28 and had had at least 15-20 jobs at that point). My mom and stepdad married when I was 4, and I’ve lived with them my whole life. He's done a lot of stuff that I haven't agreed with over the years I've grown up, but it's too much for me to even put in here.In 2021, I decided to move in with him after college to get some life experience outside of my hometown. He never maintained his vehicle that I was regularly using, and expected me to pay for it if I thought there was something wrong with it. He gaslit me, and told me nothing was wrong with it anyways. In the end, it turned out I was right, and I could have ended up in a serious accident because of him. I also developed anxiety over this that he said wasn't a big deal.Fast forward to last night. I unfollowed him a couple of years ago on Facebook because I was sick of seeing his constant posts (I didn't block him because I did that before and he kept bugging me to unblock him). But from time to time, I'll decide to search his page up and just see what crap he's been saying on there lately. As soon as I start scrolling through his feed, I see post upon post of right-wing media that he's been sharing. There's everything from homophobia and transphobia to anti vax/anti mask posts to anti-women's rights (all things I'm in support of, and he was saying it was bullshit).To say I was shocked was an understatement. I knew he was a very political person because that's all he would talk about on our phone calls. He always said he was anti-right wing and he thought they were stupid. He was also super pro-vaccine all throughout the pandemic, and seemingly supported women's rights. But now, from what I'm seeing, he's the complete opposite. I assume it's from the fact that he is very chronically online, and only gets his news from Facebook and Instagram. When I messaged him and asked him about it, he immediately attacked me for getting upset over it, and told me I was stupid for not agreeing. In conclusion, AITA for not wanting to talk to him anymore? I feel like talking to him stresses me out more than I need, but my mom says that I have to let it go and come to terms with the fact that he's just an idiot and will never change. I feel like I would have a lot less stress if we stop talking, but I also kind of feel bad that I think this way. I wouldn't be losing much since I see my stepdad as a real father anyways. Any opinion is appreciated.",AITA for not wanting to talk to my dad anymore?,NTA
10usefe,"So, me (25f) and my ex-girlfriend (25f) recently split up. She lives with her roommate, I’ll call him Kevin (27m) since two years ago, and I am living in a different city. Sometime ago my father brought me two boxes of hotpockets (24 in total) from the US ( relevant, they don’t sell them in my country, and I love them because they are a quick breakfast). I forgot them in her fridge while ex and I were still together and went on a trip. He wrote asking permission to eat one of them. Not one box, one sandwich. And I said yes.  Fast forward, ex and I split up, somewhat amicably, and in the process of getting our stuff back I go to her house and she goes “Hey, so the thing is that Kevin ate half of them” a whole box. I was livid with rage because he had no right and I went up and demanded that he pay me back, but not with money but with a new box, because you can’t get them here easily. He acts rude as shit, mocks me and calls me insults and names. I go downstairs and ex says: I will make him pay you back and hold him accountable. I said ok, but I want the box, not the money. She said it’s fair. Cue 3 weeks later and radio silence about the issue. I ask her what happened and she said it’s not her problem, and that I still had stuff of hers to give her back ( she also has some of my stuff). I said, I am not giving you back your stuff unless he pays me my stuff; and that since those things might get a while, I was happy with the order confirmation. She said that why I were holding her stuff hostage if it was not her problem, and that I was an asshole. I, however said that he does not respect me and would not pay me back out of respect, but he cares about her, so it’s my insurance that I would get my stuff back. He also owes me gas money. She then tells me that I am manipulating her and blocks me out of everything, and just tells me to speak to him. I do, he is rude about it, and said that he will humor my “temper tantrum” and pay me, but today he just sends me some money ( not even the total of what he owes me), and the Walmart price of the box, not even including the shipping, saying that he won’t stress himself or bother himself because of my pettiness. So AITA for asking to be paid in species and involving my ex in this?",AITA for making my ex’s roommate pay for my Hot Pockets?,YTA
10ulsv4,"I(33F) have chronic, treatment-resistant depression. During a bad spell over the summer, I lost my job and my home. My sister asked our grandmother(88F) to give me a place to stay, and she agreed. I was surprised, but I moved into her outbuilding at the end of August.I had a car loan I obviously couldn't pay and planned to let the car be repossessed; she thought this was a waste and wanted to make the payments herself if I'd sign the title over once it was paid off. She also fed me, drove me twenty miles into town as needed, and paid full price for my first local psychiatric appointment.But: when my food stamps came (which I only qualified for if we didn't share food, as her income was too high), she expected me to buy both our groceries to repay some of her expenses and was angry when I refused to break the law. When I declined to give her access to my medical records, she threatened to evict me. When I told her a talk radio show she had playing in the car was lying, she told me that I was a non-taxpaying leech who shouldn't have political opinions. (She did allow me to vote in November.) She was also dismayed that I couldn't just call up HUD and get Section 8 to pay rent to her, and she disliked the delay in energy assistance.By November, she felt I should be working. (I had a few hallucinations in October and was less sure.) She called up the only restaurant in ten miles and explained my history (""she has problems, but she's a hard worker""; ""she's fine as long as someone makes sure she takes her meds"") and got angry when I overheard this and chose not to apply, though I did apply elsewhere.Just before Thanksgiving, the psychiatrist offered me a place in a study for a novel treatment. I felt hopeful for a moment and asked if I'd be able to stay long enough to take part. She said no, I was taking advantage of her. A church friend said it was elder financial abuse that the friend, a social worker, would report if I didn't start paying rent in labor.I knew that earlier in the year she'd considered renting a room to a young distant cousin who couldn't afford what she'd asked for. She'd offered $100 off the rent in exchange for sixty hours a month of labor to teach him a lesson about work. Between that and her accusation, I said I'd ride along next time she went to the city and leave instead.Before I did, my grandmother told me I owed her $2500. I was out of her will and she wouldn't help me again, as she'd learned that I was looking into SSDI, which (2 Thessalonians 3:10) was an immoral, parasitic lifestyle. I was just like her son's ex, who'd abused tenant law to go years without paying my grandmother rent before eviction. I must not want to get well if I wouldn't stay for the new treatment. Etc.I'm living with a relative in another city now and trying to find the money to file for bankruptcy. I want to discharge the debt to her along with the rest. Would treating her like an ordinary creditor make me an asshole?",WIBTA: Discharging a debt to my grandmother in bankruptcy,NTA
10ujx7b,"My (31F) brother (26M) and SIL (25F) rescued a dog in Oct 2022. This was an emotional purchase since SIL previous dog got put down after attacking my nephew (2M) twice within a short period. The adoption was a few days after they asked me for money for groceries, 2 days later sent me a photo of adopting her, only to ask for money again couple days later. Since this occurred I went to LC to NC bc I realized all I am to them is an ATM and therapist. They tried to hide the new dog from my parents finding out knowing they were gonna shit for this. Then when it got out she put a FB post up sharing the new addition and welcoming her to her forever home. For context my SIL is the type to put everything on Facebook, you wanna know how she is feeling or which side of the toilet bowl she peed on this morning just look at her post. This past weekend my fiancé showed me her newest post that said they needed to find a new home for the dog and I was livid. In our immediate family group chat I asked them about giving the dog up and explained that rescue dog isn’t a toy and once you’re bored with it you can just toss it aside. My SIL then sent this long ass reply talking about how my nephews safety comes first, if I want to know about her life come ask her individually, and that if I know anyone who wants a great dog to message her. She also called my brother out for not training her due to being unemployed and since she is doing everything plus working 40hrs a week it’s just too much. My brother is a whole other story and I’ll happily tell y’all more if you want. Here is where I think I’m the AH, I replied saying i don’t need to ask her about her life bc I can just read her Facebook for an update. Then I called her out saying it’s rich my nephews safety is a priority now but before it took him to get bitten twice and potentially police involved to put her dog down. I then told her if she needs this to continue her soapbox and then screenshot the convo to play the victim then by all means. I thanked her for the baby shower gift (I’m 35wks) and told her to have a wonderful day. Within seconds my brother called me yelling at me to stop, my dad told me to cut the bullshit. My fiancé and mom agree with what I said but said I went for the jugular. So now I’m the bad guy in everyone’s eyes. So AITA?",AITA for calling my SIL about giving up her rescue dog?,ESH
10tm226,"I (45F) am facing major surgery on my heel, ankle and Achilles tendon if physical therapy does not improve my current pain levels. I have what my podiatrist has described as the “worst calcifications” he has seen on my Achilles. There is a very high chance that with or without the surgery, I will lose my ability to walk. Surgery makes it less likely, but I will walk worse than normal, just hopefully without excruciating pain. The issue is causing my Achilles to not stretch properly and literally rip the top of my heel bone off slowly. Any course my doctor and I take, I will lose at least some function of my foot.The calcifications are 100% a direct result of tendon lengthening surgery my mother made me get at six to “fix” flat feet. The flat feet never caused me any issues. My mother claims I walked on the outside edges of my feet, but regardless it worked for me. In some ways I feel like my mom wanted me to “fix” the flat feet because they did make it difficult for me to wear “girly” shoes and they didn’t look “normal” and I was a major tomboy.But that’s beside the point. When I told my mom the doctor said my current issues were a direct result of the previous surgery, she got offended and said I was blaming her. She thinks it was a jerk move to bring the surgery 40 years ago up at all, even to my doctor. I think it was fairly important for my doctor to know and I was simply stating a fact to her that had the lengthening of the tendon not been done, I would not have the calcification to the extent I have it. Am I an AH for telling my mom (not in these exact words) that her decision 40 years ago is causing me to now face potentially losing my ability to walk?To be clear, I don’t think my mom is necessarily an AH for choosing the surgery back then. I do doubt her given reasons (photos and my medical records don’t fully support her claims, they paint a less severe picture), but I’m sure she made the best decision for how she felt about it.",AITA: I told my mom the major surgery I’m facing at 45 is a direct result of surgery she made me get at six.,NTA
10uwwmh,"Im 29F dog sitting for my sister 32 while she and her husband 35 are on vacation for two weeks. I agreed to dog sit cause my home life is bad and I wanted a break from it. Sister isn’t paying me. She left chicken breasts and hamburger meat in the fridge. She didn’t have much vegetables other than some carrots, celery, and tomatoes. She has some rice and sandwich bread. I’ve been making myself chicken and rice or hamburger meat with rice everyday. I don’t have a car so I can’t go to the grocery store. Her dog doesn’t do much. He’s a pug, walking him is easy and feeding him the same. I do go outside with him in the afternoon to play with him. He mostly chases me since he doesn’t know how to fetch.When sister left she left her house a mess. I cleaned the living room, mopped and swept the kitchen and vacuumed her house. I’ve been maintaining the guests bathroom clean since I’m using it. I washed some of the hers and her kids clothes and was putting them away. Going to put the clothes in her closet I saw that her husband had taken a shower left his underwear outside of the shower and the toilet wasn’t flushed. I feel like an ah for not cleaning that up or flushing the toilet. I like to have my space clean and everyone knows this about me. If I go to someone’s house I usually help clean cause I can’t stand seeing mess. But I do know that sometimes with kids it’s difficult and my sister has 3 kids a 10 & 3 year old including her husband 35. He doesn’t help with the house chores cause him working is enough when sister works as well. Anyway sister didn’t tell me to clean her house I’m doing it cause I can’t sit and watch tv or work on my stuff while I feel dirt under my slippers. AITA for not helping sister ? Every time I think about cleaning her bathroom I recall her husband saying that my sister serving food to his sisters husband was wrong and overstepping and sister as his wife shouldn’t be doing that for other married men except him. I’ve been purposely leaving his clothes as they were piled on a chair instead of putting it away like I did with the kids clothes. AITA?",AITA for not cleaning the bathroom?,NTA
10tnmts,"I'm 23 and my niece is 14. Last year, my brother and SIL moved her to private school since she was getting bullied and she'd gone from an A to a F student. But even a year in, she was still failing. I knew what she was going through, I'd had some traumatic experiences from my first boss. And even when I quit, PTSD from that cost me my next job too.One day she called me upset about it, and I told her I could relate. My first boss was a terrible ""bully"" who really hurt and scared me, (understatement but I had to keep it PG) and for years after I quit I'd be as upset as if it had been yesterday. I'd spend my nights wondering if he was right, or I deserved it somehow. I asked if that's how she felt. She said yeah, and she really wanted to know how to make it stop. I told her that I started seeing him as dead to me. I'd never have to see him again. For all I knew, he might really be dead. But it didn't matter; in my heart he's been dead for a long time. She said she didn't know how to do that, they literally aren't dead. I said that this might sound a little woo-woo but there was an idea my therapist had, that really helped me, burning things that held bad memories. She wanted to try, and my brother said it was fine with him.So she put everything that reminded her of the bullies into a box. And if it was online, she sent me a link and I would print it out.Then one evening, she went through her box at my place, by my fire pit, and we talked a lot about each thing and the memories she needed to get off her chest before she burned it. Afterwards, I read a bit of writing that I'll share here for context later .. ""Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. All the universe gives us, it takes back in time. You've been given pain you didn't deserve, and you've been carrying it with you ever since. It's time to let go. This box, where you've gathered your pain, is but ash now. The wind will scatter it, till no trace is left. Let us lay (bullies names) to rest in your heart. Let this be the last their names are spoken, if that is your wish. That night, she thanked me for it all, and it had obviously been really cathartic. She also asked me if she could keep what I wrote, and I said yeah. She told a few friends at school about what we did, and the school administration heard and got concerned, some of it got taken out of context. The school called her mom (my sister in law) and she went through her things and found the writing I did, and she called me, literally accusing me of doing witchcraft, which I honestly started laughing at because if I was a witch I wouldn't be so broke. She was furious and said I was making jokes when I'd really overstepped, not being her parent, and it was totally inappropriate of me to give the advice ""they're dead to me"" to a kid about other kids. My brother agreed with her.AITA for the advice I gave, and was I overstepping?Edit... I was not expecting to have to explain this in the year 2023 but... Can we all please at least agree that1. Witches who can do death spells are some fictional Harry Potter style shit, they're not real. No disrespect to people who practice spirituality / wicca / etc, but that's not what we're talking about here, the kind of ""witchcraft"" my SIL accused me of doing was the ""Evil hag curses children with death"" sort that only exists in storybooks. 2. Even if there was such a thing as a real witch who could kill with their mind, I am not one, and I am not trying to be one. I said this as a joke at first, but seriously... If I was a witch, I'd be casting some spells to magic my bills away, not some little kids!! 3. I find it fucking ridiculous that I have to explain this to anyone born after the year 1650. I'm not gonna argue any more in the comments about whether I'm a witch. I'm fuckin obviously not, and I'm not trying to play Salem Witch Trial Simulator with any more crazies today!",AITA for my advice to my niece about bullies? My brother and sister in law are furious.,NTA
10v0mxt,"Hi y’all, throwaway because I’m just curious what you guys think. My (23m) ex and I (19m) used to go out together maybe once a week or so. At the time I worked 30 plus hours and went to school virtually given it was peak COVID. He went to school but only took a single class every semester and did doordash maybe twice a week for some income. He lived in New Jersey and I live in New York. The drive was usually around 35 minutes. Middle of our relationship he kept complaining I didn’t drive to see him enough. I tried to justify it by saying on my days off of course I wanted to spend them with him, but I probably didn’t want to drive and also deal with his parents. He kept complaining about the toll (Which his father paid for and never mentioned it). Yet he persisted. Maybe 1/4 times I would go to him instead, but again given my busy schedule, it was hard. He would also insist I pay for his food because he “drove all this way, it’s the least I could do”. Eventually we did break up but now it’s starting to make me think AITA for making him drive?",AITA for making him drive?,ESH
10up9u7,"For reference: there’s an age rap in our relationship. He has teen children that are 17-19.Today is my S/O’s birthday. He’s super chill and lowkey. Predictable in a sense. I just wanted him to relax and do whatever he wanted on his day. He said he just wants to chill at home and eat take out.However my bonus kids have turned his day into basically their day. Everything has been about what they wanted to do, or get for him, versus what their father actually wanted. However, he puts his kids first so he just goes with the flow and I have, too. However - I feel like an asshole for wanting to draw the line at dinner. Today they decided they want to go to a restaurant over an hour away from where we live (assuming there’s no traffic) for a reservation at 7pm that their father expressed 0 interest in going to. The issue is we have a 1 year old “ours” baby, and I’m pretty strict with his schedule. He is fed, bathed and in bed by 9pm - 10pm the latest. I’ve worked really hard on coming up with a schedule since he sleeps so horribly.I’m considering honestly skipping the dinner and staying at home. If we go that’s 2 extra hours of driving on top of 2-3 hours of eating and entertainment (they have live entertainment at this place and I know my bonus kids will want to see everything possible). My son will be so cranky, tired, and annoyed by 9 pm. But also I don’t want to seem like I’m being mean or like I don’t want my son to go because I do want my son to celebrate with his dad. I have asked if they could find somewhere closer to home but nobody wants to compromise.So, AITA? I’m not sure what to do and we’re supposed to leave in 45 mins.",AITA for possibly skipping my S/O’s birthday dinner due to his kids?,NTA
10uwc38,AITA for thinking that a parent drinking 16 beers in an 8 hour period is too much when you have 4 kids in your care? One of these kids includes a newborn baby. I am the other parent and I was there and not drinking but am I wrong for thinking this is inappropriate for the other parent? It seems excessive to me. He insists he is not hurting anyone and it is not a problem. And that basically I shouldn't have an issue with it.,"AITA for criticising a parent for drinking 16 beers in an 8 hour period, with children in his care?",NTA
10v2ewi,"I work early in the morning, my room mate of almost 2 years has decided to take a year off work after he was fired for starting a fight.He has some money so can afford to, his boss also lied to EI and said he was laid off so he could claim EI but in reality he was let go for violence. So he could very well do this for a long time.Hes actually been 'fine' to live with until the past month.I had a complaint once, when he tried to adjust my rent on a monthly basis when I was new. But finding a place in this city is hard. You can end up homeless if you give your notice without having something lined up.So I toughed it out as long as I could.I did eventually complain to him about it, but his immediate response was something about how I should move.Lately, he's begun staying up until 2 or 3 am smoking weed on the balcony and doing these loud, wheezing coughs non stop for about 30-40 minutes straight at a time, in the kitchen, etc. The balcony is right outside my window, and it echoes off the adjacent building.I know if I complain, I'll have to find a new place to live.So now im just bottling everything up to the point where I'm so mad I don't know who the crazy one is anymore.He knows I have to be up at 5am for work.",AITA for wanting my apartment to be quiet at night,NTA
10v67g7,"This happened a couple years ago.So my granddad got covid and very unfortunately he passed away because of his underlying health problems. This all happened during the height of covid which meant funerals were limited to 30 people in attendance. My grandparents have 5 grandchildren in total, my 2 older cousins (F33 and M29), me (F24) and my 2 younger siblings (M22 and F15). All grandchildren with the exception of my little sister were in (and still are in) long term, serious relationships with our other halves. Because of the limited attendance numbers, we were told our partners would not be invited which we understood. The day of the funeral comes and we attend. On arrival I see both my cousins and their partners are also in attendance. My oldest cousin, I expected her partner to be there as they are married and have to children who are obviously my grandparents great grandchildren. However, I was both upset and annoyed when I saw my other cousins partner was there.After the funeral at the wake, my grandmother was talking to both me and my brother and mentioned that she would have ‘really loved for both of our partners to have been there’. At this point my annoyance came out and I brought up that I was really annoyed and upset that my cousins partner was there when we were told our partners could not be there and that in my opinion, if we were unable to invite all of our partners then in my opinion, none should be invited (with the exception of my eldest cousins as he is the father of my granddads great grandchildren). My grandmother then mentioned that my male cousins partner was invited as they live together. This annoyed me further as me and my boyfriend had lived together for 4 years and been together for 5 at this point, which is was longer than my cousin and his partner had even been together. I cried, they cried but it was all on civil terms, no raised voices or anything, just a very heightened emotional conversation.We all get on still but anytime I’m ever upset or annoyed about something, they make little comments about that time which I don’t really appreciate as it makes me out to be overly emotional and petty. So AITA?",AITA for bringing up my annoyance at my granddad’s funeral?,NTA
10v645e,"So last year I got pregnant and my now ex (of 8 years) decided he no longer wanted kids. We had many conversations during our relationship about having kids and he was always more excited about it than I was, only to leave when I got pregnant and chose to keep it. He didn’t contact for the first 5 months of my pregnancy and when he finally did, he apologised for leaving and said he wanted to be involved in our daughter’s life. I refused to take him back but we agreed on co-parenting. Fast forward to when she was born, he showed interest and sent money for the first month then stopped. He still hasn’t come to meet her despite me asking countless times. I still sent him pics of her but he ignored them along with every message I sent. I even sent him pics of her first Christmas and asked if he wanted to come see her or FaceTime at least and once again, he ignored. I gave our daughter my last name and left him off the birth certificate. Out of curiosity, I went on his twitter page only to find him flirting with every girl under the sun so there’s definitely nothing wrong with his phone. I’ve decided to stop contacting him all together and block his number. Am I doing my daughter an injustice by blocking her dad?",AITA for blocking my daughter’s father?,NTA
10uov9c,"Me, 16 and my friend, 16, named Angie. If you read my recent post, you’d know Angie is pretty sketchy. We were having a sleepover, I was going to have a shower and get dressed to go out. I laid my clothes and jewellery on the bed to get while she was in the room, and I had a shower. After, I came back to the room to see my clothes gone. I said, ‘I could’ve sworn I put my clothes here?’ I think she thought I knew she had taken it, because Angie then said, ‘Oh, I think I put it in my bag on accident.’Then, I also noticed one of my rings were gone. While she was getting my clothes out her bag, I was thinking that nobody could take someones clothes on accident.After, she went to go shower. I had absolutely known I put my ring there, so I checked her bag which she left in my room incase she had stolen anything else. I locked the door incase she came in, then I found the ring. I even more clothes of mine and a necklace of mine.I took back my things and unlocked the door, she went in the room. I stepped out to get snacks, when I came back she yelled at me, saying I went through her bag because she noticed the things were missing. I said I had to make sure, and I was right. She said it was an invasion of privacy, and that I had no right to check her bag. I feel kinda shitty I guess, but I’m also glad I did it. What do you think?",AITA for accusing my friend of theft and searching her bag?,NTA
10v0bkw,"My boss yells a lot when she's stressed, and usually I'm used too it but today I got yelled at for no reason, we have these salads that are supposed to be weighed out, my friend (who is my manager) told me to add more kale if salads ever look too skimpy because customers complain about it, my boss caught me doing that and ran to my station, she yelled at me for not weighing it out and when I tried to explain why she said "" I don't want to hear your excuses, and if you can't follow directions please let me know now"", which was more upsetting because she basically threatened to fire me, at this point in my shift she had yelled about other things, she had been slamming things, and running around, ik she's stressed but her saying that broke me and I had a long panic attack, I still did my job, everyone heard her yell at me, but my friend never came to check on me, and when I finally snapped about it he asked what he was supposed to do about it, I said I didn't want him to do anything about it I was just very stressed and wanted someone to talk to me about it, he said as a lead I can't come to him about problems unless it's something that he can actually fix, but I told him he's my friend, then he said right now he's not, he's my boss. We got into a fight over it because I felt like all he had to do was say something like ""yeah that sucks"" or like a hug or something, he told me not to bother him with work problems because even tho he does care about me, he doesn't actually care about what happens at work, and it really hurt my feelings, because her yelling at me felt un deserved this time, my boss found out why I was doing it, but never came back to apologize, and my friend basically said I had to get over it/get used to it because there's nothing he can/ or wants to do about it.",AITA for wanting my friend to comfort me after I got yelled at by my boss?,NTA
10ubnfs,"Hi, My best friend recently broke up with her fiancée and they’ve been together for a while. They share an apartment and it’s been hard for the both continuing to live together. My friend is searching for a new place and I assume her ex is too.I have my own apartment, living with my dog, it’s a one bedroom and it’s pretty small. My bed can fit two people and I have a small couch. Today my friend texted me and asked if she could move in for a bit in exchange for a bit of rent and cooking for me (I love her cooking). However I am diagnosed with anxiety, a personality disorder and recurring depression as well as some minor diagnoses. Anyways, I want to help my friend, I really do. But I don’t know if I’m well enough to have someone live here. I don’t know how long she’ll stay (I didn’t ask yet, cause I don’t wanna ask “oh how long” when I already want to say no). Last time I had someone live with me in close quarters it went really bad, and I also need my space to be okay. She’s alluded to the fact we could move in together, but I told her what I’m telling you, sort of. Her coming here to live would fuck up my daily schedule and the thought of it is stressing me out, as I don’t deal well with having my routine messes with. But I wanna help her, she’s my best friend and I love her. And I want her to know she can come to me and not be afraid to ask for help, but I also don’t want to risk a setback. WIBTA?Edit: Thanks to everyone who gave a verdict! I told her I didn’t think living together would be good for us, but I asked my mom and she said I could stay in her house while they’re on a little trip, so my friend could stay in my apartment. However, she had already found a place to stay by the time I got back to her, but we talked about it and she understood why I felt we couldn’t live together. I told her she could come hang whenever she wanted though.",WIBTA if I said no to letting my friend crash for a bit,NTA
10v2a29,"This is a throwaway account, as my best friend has reddit and will recognise me right away.So, I have this best friend (let’s call her Alice) and we have many similar interests and usually get along, but only because I go along with everything she says to avoid getting yelled at/scolded.Our friendship has become toxic only after two years of being close friends, we occasionally have sleepovers (despite us being in our mid 20s)During most of our friendship, she treats me like I’m inferior, as if I’m an idiot that doesn’t know anything about the world, she got her first job a while ago and made fun of me because I said I was tired after a small shift a work, despite having a migraine.She also tells me either to “shut up” or “stop talking” if I’m saying something she doesn’t agree with or finds annoying, she’s not nice about it either, she says it in the most condescending ways and this is only just two of the MANY ways she mistreats me.It got to the point where she wanted to keep me awake last night to speak to her, so I did, but then she stopped talking and claimed that she didn’t care because what I was talking about was “boring” when instead, she could’ve just changed the subject instead of being rude about it, I pulled her up in it and told her it’s not right to treat people the way she does and she always replies along the lines with “you still love me though and we always work everything out” which isn’t fair, but if I even try to help her change into a better person, she loses it at me and acts like I’m the bad person, so, am I the asshole?",AITA for asking my best friend to be a better person?,NTA
10ugvb6,"I (F13), cant stand noises like chewing and breathing loudly, tapping, ect and was diagnosed with autism in November 2022. my dad, (M52), is someone who eats really really loudly. I can’t handle hearing it and my mum, (F46), even got me ear plugs because of this. but everyone sits in the same place at dinner and me and my dad sit next to each other so the ear plugs don’t work. he chews with his mouth open and I daily ask him to stop as I hate the noise, but every time I do he storms off angry and the mood in the room is really negative. I honestly don’t want to upset my dad but I seriously think he needs to handle it better and understand what I’m saying. AITA?",AITA for constantly snapping at my dad because he chews with his mouth open?,NTA
10v5zkl,"One of my coworkers is having what could be considered a moderately high-profile wedding in the summer. I say high-profile because she’s a well-known and popular news person in our city (I’m not on air, I’m just a newscast director).It should be known that she and I are not necessarily in each other’s super close circle of friends, but we do work the same shift and see each other every day and we certainly like each other.She’s been asking me to RSVP to the invite she sent about a month ago, and I finally told her today that I don’t like large gatherings and that I would rather celebrate her in a much smaller setting after she’s married. She also told me that she’s concerned about not having enough room for everyone she invited and I don’t want to potentially cause someone to miss out while I’m just sitting there miserable.She said she understands and she was very sweet, but I read an article that said you should never decline a wedding invitation unless it’s a destination wedding, you have genuine prior obligations or you would be emotionally distressed if you went. A lot of my other coworkers will likely be there as well.Am I an asshole for declining?",AITA for telling a coworker I don’t want to go to her wedding?,NTA
10v5yys,"AITA for treating my older sister how she treats me and everyone else every day?English is not my first language, please excuse any mistakes.Let me preface this by saying that as long as I can remember my older sister has treated me like a living piece of shit. My mother has always made excuses for this behavior with things like ""It's her eating disorder, she will grow out of it"" or more recently ""she probably has Aspergers just be accommodating"". I have always been nice to my sister, but she acts like I and everyone else are the biggest assholes on the planet.Today I (17f) wanted to watch a show (the last of us) with my mother. My older sister (18f) has said in the past it is ""too scary"" for her and that we need to watch it when she is not there. She is always there. When we ask her to just leave the room she refuses. When she went downstairs to do whatever she wanted to do for a bit we decided to watch it. She came upstairs screaming and calling us both evil brats for watching it against her wishes, she then made us turn the sound down to 20/100 (which is to a point where you can barely hear it) before she left again. We watched 20 minutes into the episode before she came up and started whining about it at which point we turned it off.I was upset because I only get to watch a show with my mom once a week and whenever she stays here she doesn't let us (she did the same with HOTD, she is usually at Uni but has been here since early December for the holiday). I went downstairs and did some homework while she watched harry potter upstairs on the tv (at 50 volume which is over double what she made us have it at). When she was about an hour into the movie I came up to sit down and watch it with her. All I did was sit down and she told me, and I quote to ""piss off"". At that point, I snapped and decided that I would do exactly what she has been doing to everyone else for years.I told her to turn down the sound to 20 because it was hurting my ears. She got very angry and called me all sorts of profanities and slurs. I insisted that she turn it down and she got even angrier, she then paused it and said she would only turn it on again when I left, so I went on my laptop and sat in place. Eventually, she got so angry that she was screaming at the top of her lungs (20:00 too and we have neighbors) she then stomped off.I haven't talked to her since. My sister scares me so much that I fear she will grab a knife and stab me in one of her tantrums. At one point in the past, she threatened my mother with a knife and we had to hide them for a year, I sleep with one under my mattress.My mother says I was being an asshole for instigating her like that and that I shouldn't have done that. I do not plan to put up with any of her bullshit any longer.AITA?",AITA for treating my older sister how she treats me and others every day?,NTA
10v5yl8,"This is long so bear with me.To give context, I (22F) have a pretty bad relationship with my dad (43m). My entire life, he has been mentally and emotionally abusive to my mother and I. The worst was when he yelled me in a public square on the day my mom graduated from Harvard, telling me I ruined everything I touched and that I was ruining my mom’s graduation by being there. I was adopted at 7 by my parents and I did have tendencies to try to ruin people’s day when I was little because I had severe trauma. I spent 10+ years of therapy working through it. My mom reassured me I did nothing to ruin her day. Friday evening, I was with my roommate and we were scrolling through Facebook to pass the time. I saw a post of my dad with his new girlfriend, saying they’d been Facebook friends for 8 years — but a lot of the photos looked more like couple photos than friend photos. I was weirded out, so was my roommate and so was my mom. In retrospect I probably should’ve just called, but I commented, “Weren’t you married to my mom then?” And keep in mind my mom had no clue who this woman was, even though she was supposedly my dad’s coworker for years and they hung out a lot. Once they separated, he and this coworker almost immediately started dating. Their announcement to Facebook was photos of them on the mountain where my dad proposed to my mom. This was before anyone even knew my parents had separated, so my mom got bombarded with calls from friends asking what had happened. She had wanted to keep it quiet. We asked both of them, privately, to take the photos down out of respect for my mom bc she was uncomfortable.Well, they did, but my dad called my mom and I heard the whole thing. He basically called her names and said how awful she was. So a lot of gaslighting. My dad did reupload the photos, and his girlfriend commented something akin to “Thankfully we can finally post these”. So this morning he called me and blew up at me over the comment. Said things like I was ruining his happiness and he deleted his Facebook account because I’m always causing drama on there, and how I hurt his feelings, refused to say “I love you back” (which he does when he’s mad). Yes, I’ve made clear my issues with him and his usual response is to tell me how I’m wrong and that his feelings matter more.He booked me a trip Saturday (so in a week) but after that call, I bawled cried to my mom & roommate, saying how I didn’t feel safe going back there. (I live in California, he lives in North Carolina.) Both of them immediately told me not to go if I felt unsafe. I feel physically fearful and unsafe going back there but he already booked the tickets so that money would go to waste.Also, if you’re wondering why I would unblock him after all of that, I just wanted my dad back. He swore up and down he had changed and would no longer be abusive so I decided to give him another chance, and he proved he’s still the same.So AITA here?",AITA for not going on a trip my dad booked?,NTA
10uyloz,"i’ve been planning to go to this concert for months and i wasn’t informed until after i had already bought the (non refundable) tickets that my cousin’s wedding is the same day. these tickets were NOT cheap and it’s something i’ve been really looking forward to.my cousin and i were close growing up but as adults we’ve really only seen/talked to each other like, once a year for the past several years. he’s not a super uptight guy and i sincerely don’t think he would even be offended (my mother is getting offended on his behalf which is why i’m now wondering whether i’m TA).so, WIBTA if i missed my cousin’s wedding for a concert?",WIBTA if i went to a concert instead of my cousin’s wedding?,NTA
10tz7yh,"On the RSVP my fiancé and I put that we’re reserving 5 seats for his family of 5. Today we got the RSVP back and he crossed the 5 out and put 6. I asked one of our sisters if she knows who the 6th person might be and she told me it’s his sons girlfriend. We are having a smaller wedding and already didn’t invite a lot of family because we didn’t want it to get too big. I know it’s just one extra person but no one in their family asked if it would be ok. They’re both in high school and our wedding invitation says that it’s an adult only reception. Obviously for immediate family that request isn’t applicable but the girlfriend isn’t immediate family, she wasn’t invited, we don’t know her, and no one asked us if she can come. So WIBTA to tell my brother that she cannot come?edit: I took all your advice and reached out to my brother. Apparently he was the one that invited the girlfriend, not my nephew. Basically he gaslit me and said something along the lines of it being sad that he can’t invite someone to my wedding. He also said that I didn’t even ask who it was that he invited. Then proceeded to ask if he and his family were still invited.",WIBTA for telling my brother his 16 year old son can’t bring his girlfriend of 6 months to my wedding?,NTA
10v5w5v,"Going to DR for a wedding. All inclusive. My BILs best friend. Good grip, rowdy, but fun.But, for the last 3 of these weddings, the leader of that group insists that everyone goes to duty free before arriving and buy a bottle each of whiskey. The guy loves jack daniels and he’s a groomsman. He did this at the last 2, more as the group leader vs wedding party person.I wind up spending like $75 for a 750ml of jack daniels. It’s really dumb. Everyone follows suit because they don’t want to be an asshole.Money is not tight, I can afford it just fine, but it flies in the face of common sense to me.My idea is - why don’t I just go into town, buy a bunch of bottles, at you know, regular price, and we’ll all be the wiser. I had a girlfriend during our last one of these and she suggested the same thing but it was too late by then.Even though on paper it’s clearly a financially sound decision, the group mentality is that if you don’t do the duty free thing, you’re being cheap, and given my financial situation isn’t tight, it won’t reflect well. “Everyone else did it, what you can’t afford $75 bro?”So, WIBTA if I just bailed on the duty free thing, went into town the second I got there, and bought like 4 bottles for the same price? And yes, people would know I didn’t do DF, we’re on the same flight.EDIT: the reason is to have booze for the after parties when the resort bars and stuff close. There will be 2-3 of these",WIBTA if I went into town for booze?,NTA
10v5vuf,"I'm 34M, my half-brother is 39. He has a teenage son, I have a 1 year old daughter. We don't see each other often, but we call and text. He grew up without a solid male role model, his father was never in the picture, so he was somewhat difficult in his youth. My mothers general lack of parenting didn't help in this regard. I spent most of my time with my father and his family, visiting my mother and my brother on weekends.While my brother has little formal education, I would call him gifted. He is a creative person and he's very good at what he does. Unfortunately he is unwilling to think ahead or plan, he has a 'devil may care' attitude. This means his financials have never been great.Over the years he has asked me for loans several times. I never got the money back, and he never brought it up. He would just ask for another loan. The last time he asked for money was 4 years ago. He told me he needs the money for his son. I told him it's not cool, using his child to guilt me into giving him money, while he has had years to better his situation. We agreed that he can ask me for money 2 more times and that's it, after this I would be done with the loans. He used up his last 2 times and that was it.I've told our mother to stop giving him money, that he has to learn to take care of himself. When he recently got injured at work (disabled for a few weeks), he wrote to me asking for money. Our mother followed my advice and told him to figure it out, so he asked me. His son doesn't live with him, he has only himself to consider. I called our mother to ask what the money is for. He wanted to move to another city, to be closer to his son. He found a flat that was close to where his son lived. But he was not living there yet, he still had some work to finish in his current town, and he was recovering from his injuries. Our mother helped him with the deposit and she paid the first month of rent. He could not yet move and he wanted to keep the flat. It would take him at least one more month wrap things up, while paying rent for an empty flat. I found all this ludicrous. I wold have just canceled the contract and look for another flat. Yes, any other flat would have been further from his kid, but that's life. I went off on him. I reminded him all the previous loans. I explained why it's a dumb idea. I was annoyed with him for even asking.I don't really know if he understood me. He went back to our mother, she caved and gave him the money. In total she spent thousands paying for an empty flat. I feel bad leaving him in a tough spot. I understand the need to be close to your kid. I did say I love him to pieces, but that shit just doesn't fly with me. He hasn't been responding to my texts. Maybe I should cut him some slack due to his childhood. At the same time, it's not something one can hide behind forever. Childhood is not our fault, but it is our responsibility to deal with it.So, AITA for not giving him money?",AITA for not giving my brother money?,NTA
10v266g,"Names changed. I (39M) play DnD (Dungeons and Dragons) with my friends and in 2020 I decided to DM a campaign for my friends to help with the stress. 
Two friends of mine are a couple, Matt and John (29M now) just added an infant to their family when I started my campaign. They shared a character at first to swap baby duty (this was over the internet with video call). Eventually, they moved to the same town as me and for 8 months they (Matt, John and Bubba) lived with me because their housing fell thru last minute. 
We started playing in person and they wanted to start playing separate characters once Bubba was old enough he didn’t need as dedicated focus. We found an in-game reason to split, no problem. Matt started having seizures and it took a long time to get them under control (it’s relevant). They move out, we keep playing off and on because life happens. Have friends join and leave, the three of us remain the core group. Matt’s dad dies.
Matt forgets everything. Not just DnD, but everything. Total amnesia. He eventually starts gaining it back, but keeps having episodes of amnesia. At this point we’ve stopped the game because he doesn’t remember anything about the character he created or the game. 
Finally find out his seizures and amnesia are in part due to PTSD and he’ll have amnesia episodes whenever something triggers him. I suspended our game indefinitely while he works with a counselor to get the total amnesia attacks under control. He hasn’t had any memory loss covering more than a day for a few months now and he wants to resume the campaign. Now that the backstory is out of the way:
I don’t want to play with someone who is constantly having to make new characters and relearn how to play DnD. It’s exhausting to have to incorporate a new character, only for him to forget and have to change the story for one character to leave and another to return. Add to that explaining the house rules, how to play, etc. However, he hasn’t had a major memory loss in a few months. So, AITA for not resuming our campaign now that he isn’t consistently losing his memory? WIBTA if I told him that’s why we aren’t playing?
Two questions that might come up: He doesn’t remember the old campaign or his old characters. I’ve been very sick lately, which has been the excuse I’ve given Matt as to why we haven’t resumed. But I’m recovering, so I can’t use that excuse for long.",AITA For not wanting to play DnD because my friend keeps forgetting how?,NTA
10v0099,"TA account. For background, I am in a group chat with three friends and an acquaintance ""Mel"". I call Mel an acquaintance because I am not really close to her but the rest of my friends are good friends with her. Mel likely sees me as an acquaintance too. I have hung out with my three friends multiple times as a group but I have hung out with all four (plus Mel) only once.Anyways, Mel's birthday is in three weeks and one of my friends ""Daisy"" texted the group chat asking what we were going to do for her birthday. Mel said she wanted to go to an aquarium early in the day located in San Diego (where we live far from). The rest of my friends made the idea of hanging out the entire day in San Diego to celebrate her 25th birthday which I thought would be fun.I didn't check the group chat for a whole day but Daisy asked Mel where else she would like to go. Mel said she didn't mind where and would appreciate ideas. Daisy then came up with a list of things to do in San Diego which Mel agreed sounded like a good list. I checked the group chat after Mel agreed to go to the places on the list. I then see the list and look up the places online. After looking up all the attractions I see that they all require an entrance fee/ticket and each attraction costs around 30-40 dollars per ticket. Basically, I would spend about 150 dollars for Mel's birthday.I don't have enough money to be spending right now due to my financial situation. If I were to tell the group chat that I can't go because of financial reasons, Mel wouldn't care if I went or not. My other two friends would be understanding why I couldn't go but I know Daisy would try to start an argument if I said I did not want to go. I have an idea of what Daisy might say:""It's selfish of you to not want to celebrate Mel's birthday""""Money comes and goes""""It's selfish to not even spare some money to celebrate someone's birthday""""You're being bitchy for not wanting to celebrate someone's special day""I want to be honest and tell them I can't go due to financial reasons but I don't want a one-sided aggressive argument from Daisy. I would go for only the first part of her birthday (to spend less) but we'd be carpooling in someone else's car since the drive is far from where we live, so I wouldn't have a way back to leave early. Even if I lied and said I had something important to do that day, Daisy would tell me to attend the birthday instead and tell me that my important thing could be moved to another day. Thank you if you read this far, but is it reasonable for me to not go to Mel's birthday and AITA for not wanting to go?Also, idk if I am the AH for thinking this but even if I were in a good financial situation, I don't think I would spend $150 for someone's birthday who I'm not that close with. If it were a close friend or the other person really wanted me to go to try to get closer to me then I would be more willing to spend 150.",AITA for not wanting to go to an acquaintance's birthday event?,NTA
10v1zjy,"The title may be a little misleading but I can't figure out something better. And sorry for my bad english.  To start of, I M16 used to sit around on Discord quite a lot. I made a lot of friends on there and always talked to them like I talk in real life. I'm most likely autistic and currently in the progress of getting a diagnosis, I would tell people this if I trusted them enough. Though in this one groupchat it turned into quite the problem.   A while after I gave out the information about my and my superiors suspicions about autism they ""confronted me"" about faking autism. Keep in mind that this is all online, they have no idea how I act outside of Discord.   They did not listen at all to what I had to say and basically made me out to be this whole asshole guy who faked being autistic to fit in with them. I would never fake anything this serious and I've been in the system to get help way before I met them, so their point doesn't even have a stable foundation.   I know who I am and I know that I should not take their words to heart as they literally do not have anything to back them up other than ""You don't have a professional diagnosis and you've talked about stuff you've gone through so you're faking"" but I still wonder if I am that asshole rude jerk they made me out to be.   So am I the asshole for talking about experiences I've had as an undiagnosed person?",AITA for talking about experiences I've had as an undiagnosed person?,NTA
10uwv5h,"I have two Masters degrees and, with my Bachelors, 3 degrees worth of school loans totaling $180k that have ballooned to much more with interest. I have never bought a house and have never had kids. I am responsible. I have moved numerous times for better jobs over the years.My current long-term (2.5 years) boyfriend resents me for not being at home full-time and having a “traditional” work schedule because I am attending a three-semester long nursing bridge college program. It will allow me to have a high-paying career, make reasonable money after I will pay ten percent of my income to income-based repayment, and work significantly less hours than otherwise. He believes I don’t prioritize him and am being selfish.  AITA?I have worked through the pandemic to make extra money to put aside for this so he doesn’t pay for any of this travel or tuition and I still pay for half (or more) of the house (his house) as well as groceries so he is not burdened with shopping (that he hates) or laundry.I have worked as a paramedic, educator, or in hospitals for the last 20 years. Pay is always bad for paramedic, NON-firefighters. The EMS profession is not organized into a cohesive infrastructure in the US. They are scared of qualified people with college degrees and who come from other places, bringing their new ideas which will disrupt their way of doing things. It’s a good old boys club.In the hospital, it was the glass ceiling. I did not have the magic RN letters. So, I scoured the country to find a paramedic-to-RN bridge program. It’s hybrid, part-online, and accredited.It’s 2 days a week but in a different state. I stay with family whom I pay some rent to and use one of their cars while I am there. I fly back and forth each week, a direct flight from small airports.  I work 20 hours a week remotely for benefits. Traveling takes me 4 hours twice a week the day before and after school. He never wanted to combine our finances, so I still work every other weekend on the ambulance when I come home. He also felt scorned when I wanted a vacation between fall and spring terms.I grew up meagerly, taken away from our father due to abuse. My mother is wonderful, but dropped out of college to have me and therefore, was not well-off. So I had to borrow all of my degrees; I have always had to support myself. He wants me to just let him ‘take care of me,’ but then complains that he doesn’t want to talk about bills or finances. That sounds shallow and immature to me. He doesn’t acknowledge, despite knowing, that I spend more money going back and forth than on the school itself! And that IS prioritizing him. Getting rid of my debt helps us.I am currently in the second semester. I have quit one of my jobs to help alleviate his concerns but am afraid it wont be enough financially. Am I making the right choice by staying in school?",AITA to attend school and not be home full-time to enable myself to pay a huge school loan balance?,NTA
10v5huy,"My wife(34f) and I (33m) were looking at YouTube videos of Paris and I pointed at a cafe that I once visited. She replied with “let’s save up and go there next”! Even I said let’s go. And I stupidly followed by saying “London has got nothing on Paris” and she shook her head and said that’s not true!My wife used to live in London for a long time before she met me. So it’s very special for her. But then I jokingly said “do you know what they say about London, Paris and Berlin?   That London is your old housewife, Paris is your muse and Berlin is your mistress!”.I honestly said it as a joke but she called me an asshole and now she won’t talk to me…So we posted here to see what you guys say was it an asshole thing to say? AITAH??Edit: She says I scrunched my nose when I said old house wife and smiled widely when I said mistress. She asked me if that’s what I will think of her when she is old…",AITAH for saying to my wife that Berlin is like a mistress?,NTA
10v5hhe,"My husband, 38, told me he's agreed with his friend Rachel (fake name), a 38-year-old masculine-looking woman who works in various offices in Vancouver (in a different part of Vancouver) that he'd stand in for Rachel and meet her clients so she can go for a shopping day in Toronto with a friend.Rachel said she'd help my husband look like her, right down to the grey shift dress and skirt suit with tights and high heels she wears, and help make him look like a convincing lookalike.My husband said he's taking a day off from clients to do this in Vancouver center with Rachel.I live in Burnaby, and I know who Rachel is, but don't know her as well as my husband. She seems like a nice enough lady, even though I don't know her that well. She's a former client of my husband's who visits different offices several times a week to provide consulting services. Rachel has her own business but didn't want to let down clients, basically which was why she had this idea.FWIW, Rachel's a lesbian, so no worry about them having an affair.But the point is, isn't what Rachel wants to do to my husband a little weird AF and not socially acceptable? Not to mention my husband agreeing to go along with it.My husband isn't into crossdressing but he does enjoy the RuPaul Drag Race shows he's seen via piracy.I told my husband that what he's doing was a bit morally unsound and possibly weird AF and not socially acceptable. I said we needed to talk about this. He said he'd do it, but seemed perturbed.I ask you good people on here, AITA or not, or is my husband the asshole, who's right, who's wrong here?",AITA for telling my husband that dressing up as his friend from another workplace is weird AF and not socially acceptable?,NTA
10usklp,"In June, it will be 2 years since I was in a car accident with my mom. I was driving when a drunk cyclist came at a big speed down the road perpendicular to the road we were on (he was going down the hill on the right side of my car) and didn't hit the bike brakes. Fortunately, I wasn't speeding or anything at that time, so he only got a few scrapes when he hit my windshield. My mother and I were left unharmed.Since that time, I have my heart in my throat whenever there is a vehicle going at a higher speed, as if it were about to hit the side of my car, and I am not sure if it will stop or go on like that cyclist. My heart beats a bit faster, and my hands become sweaty at times when it happens. My first instinct then is to hit the brakes and slow down, even when I am not going over the speed limit.From the time of that incident on, my mom became obsessed with careful driving. She doesn't have a driving license because she failed the test and later on didn't try again (mostly due to lack of money and her bad sight). That's why I have to drive her around. Whenever there is a car ""going at us,"" when I am driving a bit faster, or simply doing some maneuvers on the road, she comments on my driving and what I should and shouldn't do.I understand that she was there with me and that she also has trauma, but I can't find a way to make her understand that when she constantly comments on how I should drive my car, it pisses me off and makes me even more stressed to be behind a steering wheel. That's why, at times, I simply explode and yell at her when I can't stand it anymore. Usually, it's something along the lines of ""Shut up; you're not the one driving."" ""You don't even have the license, so don't tell me what to do.""The last time I apologized to her, it was only for the part about the license. After all, it's not her fault that she had no money to pay for more driving tests because she had to buy us food.I can understand her, but I feel like I am also right. So, AITA, for yelling at her? Because I feel like I am. After all, I hurt her feelings, but she just won't stop this behaviour no matter what I say to her and repeats it each time, even though we talked about the fact that it disturbs me.EDIT: I talked to her in the car and at home, so it's not that I only express my opinion about her behavior while being angry at her during the ride.","AITA for yelling at my mom, because she disturbs me while I am driving my car?",NTA
10v1s2f,"I don't know if the mods will let me post this. Anyway, I am a 27 year old female and currently stay in an Asian country. I suffer from chronic depression and social anxiety, and it has been very hard for me to hold on to a job. I shall explain why.Ever since I was an infant, I was constantly emotionally, verbally and physically neglected by my father. I never received any love from him. The constant child neglect took place till I reached the age of 18. Everyday growing up, he reminded me that he would be happy if I died. Nothing I ever achieved was celebrated, heck was even acknowledged, I was constantly put down for my looks by my own parents, and was told nobody would ever love me or marry me. I was PETRIFIED of my father. After enduring so much trauma, I have grown up with severe depression and it even affects my married life. When I finally mustered the courage to talk about this to my parents, I was simply scoffed off, and was told that I was being delusional and to just forget it all. Since mental trauma isn't tangible, they feel they have done no wrong. My question is if in the process of the neglect, had I lost an arm or a leg, or be paralyzed, would I be asked to just forget it?Sure, therapy and counselling will help in healing, but it would be equivalent to putting on prosthetics or using a wheelchair, That would never bring my old healthy self back or give me back a happy childhood.So, now I have demanded for the 7k dollars as compensation for my mental health treatment and my medical bills. All my extended family are calling be an asshole. Reddit am I the asshole for demanding money from my parents?Edit: Please kindly read my post on the subreddit on narcissisticparents to understand what had really happened. The mods here didn't let me post those details here.https://www.reddit.com/r/narcissisticparents/comments/10obun0/going_no_contact_with_my_father_for_years_of/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button",AITA for adamantly demanding seven thousand dollars from my parents as compensation for the years of childhood neglect?,NTA
10uuac4,"So I was flying home from vacation with my friend and we were seated next to a man in a 3 person row. He had a pilot's association lanyard and was chatting pretty familiarly with one of the flight attendants. We asked him and he confirmed he works for the company. We sat on the tarmac for about 40 minutes because of heavy rain that delayed a bunch of take offs and landings and he was on his phone the whole time.Soon after sitting down, my friend in the middle seat leaned over and said he was texting someone some nasty stuff about being seated next to two fat chicks but at least we weren't spilling over. I had a baby not long ago and I've got a tummy but fit comfortably in a seat and my friend is petite and stocky but again, easily fits in her seat. He wrote more stuff about us but she didn't want to repeat it. I've never seen her so mad.He was also texting gross stuff about the flight attendant he was speaking with earlier, telling his friend that the attendant looked like a bottom (both gay men) and said some other super gross stuff about how he was gonna bang this guy. He was also sexting with with several other men. The guy had his phone in his lap while texting. Like, my friend didn't even have to turn her head or peer around, it was totally visible from where she sat. We told the flight attendant that this guy was being creepy and was gross about us and him. He apologized profusely and thanked us for warning him. I wanted to say something to him as we left the plane but she asked me not to and I respected that.I do want to say something to their company customer service but my friend thinks that we should drop it because we don't really have proof it happened other than her immediately telling the attendant and us having no other way to know this guy sleeps with men. I said we don't need proof, it's not a court of law and there's no jury, but if I was his employer, I'd sure want to know if they were saying stuff like that about customers and fellow employees. They probably won't do anything or even talk to him but if he's got other complaints against him, this helps establish a pattern.We also weren't sure if she was being the AH, because even though it was plainly visible to her, it was obviously not meant for her to read.So, are we the assholes for reading what he wrote? If no, should we let his employer know? *Also, added because it was funny, mid flight the creep went to the back to try to flirt with the flight attendant we had already warned. He had been gone for a while and my friend went up to hit the bathroom and got to witness the creep getting the grey rock treatment from the flight attendant.*","AITA for reading a stranger's texts about me, when they're sitting next to me on a flight?",YTA
10uwkf3,"i’ve been in various forms of a band with a good friend for the last 3 years, with him on drums and me playing guitar or bass as needed. for the longest time, we were the two strongest members and the lowest common denominator was always somebody else, but over the last 6 ish months we reformed with a new bassist and singer/guitarist (i play lead guitar). we’ve written some good songs and played a couple of shows, with another one coming up in a few weeks, but i don’t find myself satisfied creatively. the drummer is very difficult to work with at times, hes always suggesting covers when we need to work on originals, changing drum parts for already established songs, and his style doesn’t feel like it works with the music me and the singer are writing. generally, i have demos that are fully fleshed out musically, with a structure and general drum part in mind. the issue is that he changes the parts in a way that doesn’t fit the song and my intentions, i’ve tried talking to him about it and explaining that i write the way i do for a reason and trying to compromise, but it’s never worked. the singer is an amazing musician and songwriter who’s in another local band that i love, and working with him has been great. he has a lot of the same frustrations that i have, namely that aside from creative issues, everything is super unorganized, and as bas as it sounds that mostly traces back to the drummer. we really want to go off and form our own project, because we’re on the same page and work really well together, but i’m struggling to find a way to do it without coming across as a huge dick. this situation is even more complicated because we’re very close friends and get along well in that regard, we just always butt heads when it comes to anything creative. we have three weeks until our next show which is 90 minutes, and we only have 45 minutes worth of material ready. the singer drew up a plan for things to work on at rehearsals going forward that should work if we all practice alone, but i can see things not going as well as they need to. this next show and the lead up to it are really the deciding factor for me, and unless something drastically changes within that time, im not sure that i want to continue with this band. we decided not to schedule any more shows until we get our shit together, and we’re gonna have a band meeting and talk about refocusing after this gig but i’m really not confident that i want to continue with it going forward. i don’t feel excited for this next gig, i feel like it’s another thing i need to push through and get over and done with, which is not a good mentality to have. i don’t even know what sort of advice i’m looking for. i feel like i already have my mind made up, but i just need somewhere to vent about it and i’d like to hear some other possible perspectives on the situation. id really like to hear what you all think, feel free to ask for clarification an any part of this.",WIBTA for quitting a band with a close friend and starting a new project with another member of said band b/c i don’t feel satisfied creatively?,NTA
10uqtoq,"I went on an expensive ski trip with three friends, spending 700/night on a luxury hotel for 3 nights. We all agreed months ahead of time that we would split the the cost of the hotel equally and prepaid for our stay. On the trip, one of my friends, Mona (names have been changed) hurts her knee and can no longer ski. She ends up leaving the trip one night early to go to the doctor. Lisa and I stay for the remainder of the trip. Once we get back, Mona asks that we refund her for her portion of the last night as “things are extremely tight right now & leaving early fucked me both cost & experience wise. I know me getting hurt was not expected, but I would sincerely appreciate it given the situation and recovery (more $ & stress) ahead.”On one hand, I understand her situation, feel bad for her, and want to help. On the other hand, we all committed to and agreed on the amount of money we’d spend that weekend ahead of time and if she really was spread too thin, we’re close enough where she would feel comfortable expressing that. I also don’t think it’s fair for me to spend more out of my pocket and have to subsidize her lifestyle of living above her means (we all make around the same income - low six figured)1 - AITA for thinking this way?I talked to Lisa and she agreed that she didn’t want to pay more than what she originally agreed to as she’s also got bills to pay. I also am a little tight on money but spend less frivolously than Mona. Because I can help (even though I don’t want to - thanks to being a people pleaser) and Mona is one of my good friends so I understand how frustrating it is to have unexpected expenses, I offered to help. We had spent $400 on a dinner to be split evenly that I was owed money for from both Mona and Lisa. I told Mona that I would be happy to cover half of her portion for dinner (I asked Lisa to cover Mona’s other half but she declined) as a way to somewhat meet in the middle. She then got super passive aggressive and condescending and said she’ll pay for dinner and forget about asking about the hotel. She also said “In two previous situations with group trips I took leadership to get money back for my friend when they got Covid, and one had to work”…not really sure what that was about. 2 - AITA for how I handled the situation?",AITA for not refunding friend for prepaid trip?,NTA
10v56px,"My (25F) brother is turning 17 and my parents are planning to have a birthday dinner celebration with him. But between work being stress and me not being very close to him, I’m not too inclined to go. I’ve indicated this to my parents and they’re upset and they said it’s to spend time with family, but I’ve replied that I’m not interested in someone who never invests time in the family. This guy just spends time gaming 24/7, and refuses to relinquish his devices even when requested to do so at the dining table. The only time I ever see him is at mealtimes when he maybe gets hungry and can be bothered to arrive to eat (half the time he eats an hour later because he’s busy “gaming”) Mind you, I’m a pretty avid gamer myself and I can understand being engrossed at a game at his age, but he’s also wronged me at a major event that caused me to break down and has yet to apologize for it. I know I’m being petty, but I would rather be sleeping at home than spending time at some restaurant and then cutting his birthday cake (which is a pointless tradition imo, I don’t even like cutting my own cake). WIBTA?Edit: I’m pretty close to my parents and I love them, and I can see why they’re upset that I’m missing out on something they’ve been taking time to plan, but at the same time it’s for my brother and I’m hoping they’ll be fine that he enjoys it anyway",WIBTA if I don’t attend my brother’s birthday dinner?,YWBTA
10v55x4,"Okay, this is gonna be quite the read.Early last year, I (21F) had my boyfriend (21M) move in with me in my college townhome with my 5 other roommates.All of my other roommates are women. We all moved in a year prior to my boyfriend, and I only knew a couple of them at the time. We all grew really close and became good friends-we hung out all the time. My boyfriend, at this time, was taking a break from college due to mental health issues, and living with his parents 4 hours away. He was very indecisive on whether or not he’d be going back to college (he goes to the same college as all of us do), so I resigned my lease with my roommates.On a whim, my boyfriend decided he wanted to come back to college but didn’t have anywhere to live. He couldn’t afford staying in the dorms, and definitely couldn’t afford living by himself. I also couldn’t break my lease, otherwise I would have just moved in with him.I immediately asked every one of my roommates if it would be ok if he lived with us. They had met him multiple times when he came to visit me, and was always very friendly and respectful to everyone, of course. Again, all of me and my roommates had grown pretty close.They all agreed that they would have no problem with it. I should also mention that another one of my roommates had her boyfriend living with us for a long period of time, so I didn’t think I was asking too much. Being the people pleaser I am, I continued to ask everyone to make sure it was really okay and they weren’t just saying yes for the sake of it. They all continued to agree, so I called my boyfriend and let him know he was in the clear, and he could live with us.We both share my room, and mostly keep to ourselves downstairs (we have a small extra living room in the basement, along with our bedroom and another roommates bedroom). One night at around 3:00am, two of my roommates drunkenly pulled me into the bathroom and said they needed to have “a talk” with me. For the next hour, they yelled at me saying how I was disrespectful for letting him stay there, how I didn’t take anyone else’s feelings into account, and said they talked to their therapists about me because it was causing them so much stress. And this was all centered around my boyfriend living there. Over the past year, I can obviously tell that they don’t like him. I don’t know if it’s because he annoys them, or it’s just the fact that a guy lives there and it’s uncomfortable for them. From everything that I’ve seen, my boyfriend is very respectful, cleans up after himself and takes out everyone’s trash, so I’m not sure why they don’t like him. He even pays extra on our electric bill. I don’t know what to do or if I’m being the asshole. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells around everyone and feel like everything is my fault. Some of my roommates still pull me aside every now and then and talk shit about how my boyfriend lives here.",AITA for having my boyfriend move in with me and my roommates?,NTA
10uqlxh,"A few days ago i celebrated my bday party at my house (i am 19 for reference) with a group of close friends aprox 10. And later, during the party after a round of games a few friends went together in MY room upstairs, closed the doors and basically had “deep” conversations for a good hour.Maybe the most weird thing was that one of them basically said not to follow them (go back downstairs), in a sense excluded me before asking if I wanted to join them (as a host that seems rude).Am I the asshole for thinking that running off during someone’s bday party with a few friends and hiding in a room for an hour rude? I get wanting some quiet but at what extent?P. S. I did ask them to join us after 30 minutes but they seemed not interested, sort of ruined the vibe for the people that were excluded, and especially made it hard for me to be a good host.Everything sorted out in the end but that hour and a half was really disrespectful in my opinion.",AITA for thinking that having seperate/private room conversations during my birthday party rude?,NTA
10uhw8h,"I am the youngest of five children. My siblings and I grew up struggling financially, mostly because of our parents’ bad spending habits, unwillingness to keep a job, and financial illiteracy. I grew up so financially traumatized, I made it a point and focus of mine to never have to live a life like that ever again. My wife and I went to college, received our degrees, then worked towards the financial stability we desired.We purchased our first home last year in November. Not even two months in, my sister and her husband asked if their family (3 kids) could stay with us. Apparently, they have been struggling financially and needed to catch up on some of their bills. They were living day to day in a hotel these past few months. However, I learned they were evicted from their apartment for being behind on rent, and that was the reason they were staying in a hotel. Here is the problem I have with the entire situation. My sister and her husband have both lost multiple jobs for their lack of work ethic and maturity (fighting at work , drinking on the job, calling in too often). My sister and her husband are  10 + years older than my wife and I. Their current financial situation is 100% caused by the very same unhealthy financial habits my sister and I came from. Within a month of them staying with us I have noticed them spending more than what my wife and I would spend. That’s because we have a budget to assure we can save, pay our mortgage, and assure we stay financially stable. My sister doesn’t work at all. They eat out 3-4 times a week, have went shopping two weekends in a row, and have showed reckless spending behavior. My sister smokes marijuana and always has money for her stash. I don’t have problem with her smoking, but I believe your family’s needs come first before you get to enjoy things like that. I agreed to help them because I thought they were in NEED. IMO, you do not spend the way they have been spending if you are in desperate financial need. I have realized they are in their current financial situation because of the poor financial decisions they have made and continue to make. I feel like they are using me to live a comfortable life. They only pay me for utilities, and there is never any talk about plans to look for a place to stay.AITA for asking them to move out at the end of the month?",AITA for asking my sister and her family to move out at the end of the month ?,NTA
10v52im,"I (32f) have a “friend” Hannah (32f) who was my best pal growing up. We had been through so much and she was honestly like a sister to me at one point and we considered each others families as our own. A few years ago while I was away visiting my long distance partner, my younger brother (20m) was attacked by her partner Vic (35m). My brother had been 16 at the time, and had called me asking what to do — I told him to call the police, which he did. Following this, I was furious with Vic, but the whole event was twisted to seem like it wasn’t Vic’s fault and that everyone was drunk (my brother definitely wasn’t) and it was just all a huge misunderstanding. I’ve always been a doormat, especially with Hannah, and tried to keep the peace but my brother, understandably, wanted nothing to do with her or Vic anymore. Hannah eventually split up with Vic, and I started to think our friendship might be salvageable. I then discovered Hannah is back together with Vic (I don’t use social media a lot) about a year and a half ago and I was just shocked. We hadn’t spoke for a little while anyway due to me now living further away, but we were civil and would do the casual “hi how are you” messaging now and again. I started to think that maybe that was why she wouldn’t meet up with me — I had visited home on my 30th and asked if she wanted to meet up to talk, but she never got back to me. It was a few months after my 30th that I found out they were together again. My 32nd birthday happened recently, and about a week before my birthday she had followed me and messaged me on instagram about a band we used to listen to. It was very out of the blue, and I had unfollowed her and removed her from my followers last year, so I didn’t respond. A few days later I had my birthday, and she had wished me a happy birthday — again, I didn’t respond. She messaged me again asking how I was, and I decided to remove her from my followers again and deleted the message without responding. I spoke to one of my friends about all this, and she things I’m being an AH. She said Hannah is clearly trying to reach out to me and resolve matters, and I’m being immature by just ignoring her. I explained everything that happened to this friend and, while she agrees Vic is an AH, she thinks Hannah is probably still all over the place emotionally after her mother passed away 5 years ago, and is only with Vic for some familiarity but that I could be that familiarity instead, and I think she might be right. So Reddit, AITA?",AITA for ignoring my (ex) best friend?,NTA
10uv30i,"I’m going to keep this as short as possible.my mum called me today and i mentioned that my younger brother was helping to clean out my aunties garden whilst she finished her uni work (i thought my brother already told mum), she said she would pay him for his work which he happily accepted and got everything done within maybe an hour and a half. mum got angry that my brother was helping out and started to yell saying she feeds him, let’s him wash there and gives him a place to stay so he should have done her garden first. i told her that those were things that she as a parent was supposed to do and this caused her to hang up. i think i’m the AH because i 1) neither me or my brother live with my mum so i don’t know if she still needs to look after us, 2) i told her about him working here and 3) i got involvedso AITA",AITA for telling mum she’s wrong?,NTA
10uv02c,"So I've never been to a rave before, my partner has been too many in the past and I know he enjoys this a lot. He is coming too my city for a upcoming rave this March, seeing as we haven't spent any time together being long distance and he's only here for a couple days I suggested what if I come?He shut this down immediately and stated because he ""knows me"" I wont be into it as I don't typically listen too that type of music and is adamant I wouldn't like it. The thing is I have never even been too something like this, and usually am an outgoing person and like to have fun and a good time. He just said why did I have too make it awkward for asking. It kind of upset me a bit because I'm not even given a chance, and I'm not the type of person to put on a sour face and ruin the mood or vibe if I'm not feeling it. I would like to experience one and was hoping too with my bf, especially as we haven't seen each other for so long and wanted too do something I know he likes but his reaction really threw me off so now I don't even want too mention it anymore. Should I just leave it be? Is this type of thing something people sometimes want too go on their own and with friends, and I might ruin the experience?Gay relationship if that matters, currently long distance and will be in my city for 5days while this rave is on. Partner(24) and I am (29)We have been long distance for the past year, but did live together for close too 3 years during the pandemic when there was no raves or festivals happening.  AITA for wanting to come along? Should I just drop this as it's something he enjoys and believes I would hate it.",AITA for wanting too go to a rave with my partner but he doesn't want me too?,NTA
10v1fhp,"I (25F) have a boyfriend (24M) who will be going overseas for a few weeks for a business trip. As I don’t like to be apart for too long, he suggested he can pay for my flights to join him for a small portion of his business trip. As it’s in a continent and country that I’ve never been to before, I thought I could make the most of the trip, especially as he told me in advance that he likely won’t be able to spare much time with me at all. This means your typical 9-5 is definitely out of the question, I might not even get a weekend and we might not even spend dinners together. I still agreed to go because it would be nice to spend time together and be together but when I told him that I would like to visit a neighbouring country for the weekend, he said he might not be able to. I said that’s fine, I can go by myself. He got upset and told me that he’s turned off by my reaction, it seems like I’m going to fulfil my holiday dreams rather than to spend time with him. The country in question is a country he’s been to before but I haven’t, and we’ve spoken about visiting it together one day. I said I will still like to go with him, but if he can’t spend time with me, I may as well make the most of it and visit some other cities while I have free time all to myself. He said that it seems like my priority is to have a vacation and I’m using his generosity as an opportunity to fulfil my selfish needs. I understand where he’s coming from but I don’t understand why it’s such a big deal because from my perspective, I’m not eating away at our time together and I am using an opportunity and making the most of time spent apart, instead of sitting and waiting around for him to finish work in the one city. Now he doesn’t want to pay for my flights (fair enough) but he doesn’t even want me to come at all. Am I okay in wanting to make the most of this trip or AITA?",AITA for wanting to make the most of a trip?,NTA
10uasfe,"Sorry for bad posting, this is my first post for Reddit.I had to leave my apartment for a week as my partner is having a medical situation, our pet and I had to find other accommodations until my partner’s situation got better. because of that, I reached out to a friend to see if I could stay with them for that week. The friend agreed and said I could use the guest bedroom for that time, so when I got down I set my stuff and and stayed in the room. Well last night we had a group of friends over as a get together cause I hadn’t seen them in awhile and I thought it would be nice to catch up. (The home owners agreed to the party, I didn’t just invite people over to their house.) well the night carried on and we got to drinking, so everyone decided to stay for the night. It was really late into the night/morning when I got so tired I decided to go to bed before everyone else had settled down for the night, and while I was heading up to the guest room I was staying in, our one friend (We’ll call her Tammy) shot me a look and asked if I was going to the bed. I told Tammy “yeah, it’s where I’ve been for the last few days while I’m staying in town.” And Tammy just shoots me this annoyed angry look and just replies “Okay.” Very passive aggressively. Tammies boyfriend recognized this look on her face, and he just told tammy it was okay, they have an air mattress they can stay on, it’ll be fine for the night. But Tammy is now in this annoyed mood and just being passive aggressive. I just went to the room and called it a night. Normally when we get into these kind of parties Tammy and her boyfriend usually stay in the guest bedroom cause they are a couple and it doesn’t make much sense for the single folks to take a queen bed for themselves, which is fair, but none of the rest of us had prior plans to stay in the room. I know she’s complaining about it to the friends that own the house, but am I really the asshole for taking the guest bedroom even though it was promised to me for the week? Should I have just let them have it for the night? Again, the owners said the room was mine, and they are just staying for the night to recover for the drive home in the morning (30 minute drive away).",AITA For not giving up the guest bedroom to a couple?,NTA
10uoe74,"I (18F) am having a hard time forgiving my (18M) friend and he thinks it’s not fair. A few months into my course and one of my classmates and I realised that we were childhood friends. Let’s call him H.We were once talking online and I accidentally revealed that my ex was a girl. He asked me if I were bisexual to which I had a fuck it moment and replied with a ‘yes’. He told me that he was too. I recently figured out that the guys in my class talk shit on me on one of their group chats. I haven’t done much except given them the occasional side eye and shut them up a couple of times for saying vile shit. It wasn’t anything severe. I guess they couldn’t handle it.I was curious  and I NEEDED to know what they were saying about me. H was also on that group-chat. So I asked for his phone.The way they talked about me was just evil. Pure horrid intentions. Everything ranging from my looks to my marks was scrutinised. It was a rough read. I had never felt worse about myself. They were evil.After this H decided that he was gonna sort of create distance between himself and those guys. He would still talk to them in order to not be picked on, but just less.Recently, I noticed that he was getting closer to them instead of the opposite. It made me upset.One day I decided to be upfront and tell him that i can’t be friends with someone who associates with people like them. He claimed it was for ‘survival’.I called bullshit. You don’t need to be in their inner circle to survive. He NEEDED their validation. They were assholes when he wasn’t getting their approval, then suddenly when he got their validation, ‘they’re not so bad’. “Don’t take it personally, they say this about everyone” Fuck him for saying that.Not only this, all of our conversations now revolve around him. All. The. Time. The minute he has something to say, something he can’t share with the dudes because they’re homophobic as fuck. He dumps it on us and leaves. When it’s about him, we’re supposed to listen with undiverted  attention but the minute it’s about us his go to line is “Don’t think about it so much, go study. I’ll study too.”He also makes a lot of sexual jokes. I get that he’s never had a queer friend in real life before and he’s always had to repress his sexuality but he crosses the line sometimes. He’s made weird sexual jokes about the crush of our mutual friend. And the things is that he knew she REALLY liked him. I spoke to him about everything, he claims that he’s sorry and that he wants to do better. He won’t stop talking to the guys but he’s gonna be better about listening to us. I reluctantly agreed but I was passive aggressive this entire week. Every time I see him I either make fun of him or I’m rude.He noticed this and he says it’s not fair and that he needs time to work on himself. I know he’s sincere but I just can’t seem to forgive him. I want to do better and forgive him but I just can’t.AITA?",AITA for not being able to give him another chance?,NTA
10uuu6c,"I'll keep it as short as I can - we're a production outfit of about 30 people including an office, a main production site and some smaller satellite sites. I (31 M) worked at both the main production and smaller sites for about ten years and maintain a good relationship with all my old teammates. I've been in the office for about three years and get on well with everyone there, except one person. She (24 F) is the newest member of the team and we've simply never gelled, I get a very unpleasant vibe from her.She's been in post about a year, I made several efforts to make friends early on but eventually gave up as the gesture was not reciprocated. She's idealistic, self-oriented and often pretty rude. She comes from money and really looks down on the guys who've worked their way up from the bottom, me included. We all know our trade inside out and only a few weeks into her job she was rudely asking very experienced people if they ""even know what [basic industry knowledge] really is"". We're a close community and tend to sort ourselves out if there's a problem but on more than one occasion she's gone over people's heads and caused a lot of trouble for some of my colleagues. For these reasons I keep her at arm's length, it's clear to me we simply aren't each other's type of person. I wish her no ill but we don't ever talk beyond mildly uncomfortable pleasantries, we have separate workstreams and no need to interact and this is all fine by me. I genuinely wish her well, but no thanks.My band played a local gig and I invited 90% of my colleagues because I wanted them to be there. I didn't include her on the invite list (email) because of the above, and I omitted a couple of older field guys because I knew it wouldn't be their thing. We openly discussed the gig around the office several times with her in the room (before I sent the invites out) and she made no effort to take part in any conversation (she usually pipes up with most matters) so I surmised this was mutual non-engagement.After a really fun gig, she claimed bullying by exclusion. The rest of the office that could make it had a great time and so did I, but on the following Monday I found myself explaining to her manager that I didn't ""not want her there"" I just didn't ""want her there"". It wasn't a work do, it was a social event. There have been no formal proceedings but I'm still pretty unhappy she's kicked up a fuss, which has brought about bad feelings to what I beleived to be a non-issue. Proceedings or not, word of these kind of things spread and I'm feeling tarred as a guy who picks on the youngest girl in the office.AITA for not inviting her?",AITA for excluding one office colleague from my band's gig invites?,NTA
10togpu,"My dad (53M) has a girlfriend. They’re pretty serious, they’ve been dating a couple of months. My mom (46F) passed away a couple of months ago. My dad, since then, now has a new girlfriend. “Tammy”. (48F)For a while, I felt like an asshole because she hadn’t done anything for me to not like her. My dad and his friends kept getting on me to be nicer, how my mom would want me to like her and to move on, whatever. I didn’t even get a bad vibe from her, I just didn’t like her. But, who boy, did that change. Drastically.I’m 18, I live at home, I’m currently enrolled in college as a full-time student. Anyway, my dad felt compelled to mention to Tammy that my room could be organized (by her.) Weird, but I didn’t want to say no, at least not in front of my dad. She then decided to, “start the process” by, starting to attempt to rip the posters and pictures off of my wall. She stopped after I told her to. Then, oh then, came the contacts. I woke up this morning and unbeknownst to me, she came over earlier to help my dad clean our house. I internally groaned when I woke up and heard her voice, but that’s besides the point. Anyway, I woke up and went to the bathroom to put in my contacts, which are daily pairs, hey’re kept in a little storage box on the back of our toilet. So, I went to grab a pair, and….nothing was there. Not even the box where they came from, which I need to remember my solution when time comes for ordering more.I start looking around, in the cabinets, under the sink, even in the trash can in the bathroom. Everything was empty. A horrifying thought came over me. I went into the living room, and asked them if they had moved my contacts. My dad said no, genuinely. Tammy on the other hand, she looked at me, with zero guilt, and said, “oh…so that’s what those were?”Panic sets in. I find out she “accidentally” threw them out last night. I freak out, because I have the worst vision in the world and can’t see clearly 3 feet in front of me without them. So I blow up, to which she responds by saying it was my fault for leaving them out, how if I didn’t want to lose them, I should’ve put them up. I paid for those contacts with the money I got from my mom’s life insurance (it wasn’t a lot). If any of you know shit about contacts, you’ll know they’re expensive. I couldn’t afford to go out and buy a new supply.My dad isn’t talking to me now, because he thinks I’m overreacting. He agrees with Tammy, and says if I didn’t want them lost, they should’ve been kept safe. He’s also refusing to buy me a new supply, on her insistence. I asked if he planned to buy me more to compensate for the loss, to which he didn’t say anything at first, but to which Tammy said I needed to learn my lesson and some people have to learn the hard way that not everything in life is free, whatever the hell that means.So, TLDR; My dad’s girlfriend totally accidentally threw away my contacts, and then acted like it was my fault. AITA?",AITA for yelling at my dad’s girlfriend for “accidentally” throwing away my contacts?,NTA
10urpsw,"My friend (39m) has been a widow for 6 months now. He has been grieving, as they were married for 13 years. I suggested he go out with some friends and have dinner. He calls me and tells me he’s home early and didn’t have the best time. But his wife’s step mom was coming over to drop some items off for his son, her grandson. Whatever took place caused them to end up having hooked up multiple times that night. AITA for telling him and her both it’s weird and can confuse the kid later on? They both want to continue this. She was the wife’s step mother since she was 7, and is also a widow as her husband passed away in 2018.",AITA for telling my friend he’s wrong,YTA
10th549,"My (37m) sister (29f) is getting married in June. I have two daughters one neurotypical (7f) and one high needs nonverbal autistic daughter (5f). My sister made a rule about her wedding no kids under 5, which I think was a ""polite"" way of excluding my disabled child. My wife or myself would have immediately took her outside if she had a meltdown. As my 6 year old nephew (also neurotypical) just ""made the cut"" and gets to go, there's only two other children under 5 in the family no known disabilities yet. I understand her wedding her choice, but I'm not okay with including one of my daughters but not the other. Problem is my 7 yr old daughter really wanted to go, she's a real ""girly girl"" loves pretty dresses, princesses, fairies, and yes brides too. She was excited getting to see her aunt in a bridal gown (the last wedding she went to she was too young to remember). Since it is my sister I don't feel right missing her wedding so we are going without the girls and my in-laws will watch them that night. She's upset she doesn't get to go, and my sister says I'm fostering resentment but I think Im teaching my daughter it's not okay to exclude family due to a disability. The way I see it it's my sister who created this situation, not me. AITA?EDIT CORRECTION: Rule is no kids 5 and under, my apologies should have specified that.",AITA for not bringing NT daughter to my sister's wedding due to autistic child not being invited,YTA
10v4q7h,"My engagement ended 2 months ago and ever since there’s been a divide in our friendship group. The majority of our friends have tried to remain neutral but there are some who have very clearly taken his side even though nobody besides us knows why we decided to break things off.We went to a party and I arrived late so when I found my friends there wasn’t anywhere for me to sit. Lydia, who is best friends with, Sophia, who I’m 80% sure is sleeping with my ex, made a remark about how there was no space for me so I would have to go sit somewhere else. She said it like it was a joke but considering how they’ve been behaving towards me and what I suspect about Sophia I knew it wasn’t one. I was going to go look for an empty seat to drag over but another friend jokingly said I could sit on my ex’s lap as he wouldn’t mind. I wouldn’t have done it but my ex said I wouldn’t be able to handle sitting on his lap which annoyed me so I sat on his lap.While some of my friends found it funny, Lydia and some others were complaining and said I was being inappropriate and that we should get a room if we were going to act like this. It kind of ruined the mood because they wouldn’t stop complaining and eventually my ex and a few others went outside which still wasn’t enough for them to move on as they continued making comments about me and how inappropriate I was.AITA?",AITA for sitting on my ex-fiancé’s lap?,ESH
10v4pki,"My 15-year-old daughter showed me on her online high school portal an assignment from his history teacher which stated:> You must listen to Chapo Trap House, and compare and contrast articles on the phenomenon. You are also required to write one article in support of the phenomenon as if you were an adult living in 2016, and one against it, from this perspective. Write in-character for this. Also state if you enjoyed the material too, writing from a historian's perspective.I decided to anonymously contact my daughter's school principal under a generic-named Gmail account I set up in 2013 for things I don't want to my main email account (adverts etc.), and inform her of this, and am now waiting on a reply. I didn't state anything that could identify myself.Isn't now a bit too soon to start studying the Chapo Trap House movement in school history lessons? My husband thinks so.AITA for being concerned about what my school is teaching.",AITA for anonymously contacting my daughter's school principal over something she had as a school assignment?,YTA
10v4ms2,"I got into an accident a couple of months ago where my car stalled on the road and another driver totally wrecked me. I ended up in the emergency room.Ive since recovered, but ever since I haven’t been too keen on driving. I sometimes drive alone if it’s a quick run to the store or just to aimlessly drive to get reacquainted, but fast forward to now and every time I suggest that I drive; my sister’s jump to suggest someone else or assure me that’s it’s fine and they can actually drive.I know they may not feel comfortable with me driving because of my accident, but I feel like it’s important for me to get over my anxiety -- i also feel like they kinda think less of me. Even before my accident my older sister would make little comments about me being a distracted driver. It always kind of irked me.So I took the next opportunity to force my little sister to let me drive, I wouldn’t take no for an answer and I ended up driving us down to the store. It all went fine and my little sis drove us back.The next day we were all together again and I proudly told my older sister that I drove and it all went fine. When I asked my younger sister to back me up she hesitantly piped up and said “yeah , kinda..”. That made me pause and I said “what do you mean kinda ?” I was a bit taken aback because I thought I drove fine and there weren’t really any problems, but my sister continued on to say that i ""stopped a bit early before stop signs"" and ""started slowing to soon."" I got frustrated and explained why I did those things because I was a bit anxious and wanted to not make any mistakes at all, mind you, it was in the middle of the night and the headlights on the car were dim, so I was being extra careful and watchful. My older sister saw me getting agitated and told me to calm down cause I'm the one who asked and wanted an honest answer, but I felt like my sister was nitpicking and didn't want me to succeed. Negative feelings started boiling up as I kept insisting that they were calling me a bad driver and they kept insisting that ""kinda"" doesn't mean ""badly"". I felt really helpless and I'm not proud of it, but I kind of started crying and telling them that they always try to make me feel like I do things wrong. I was upset and left them, but when I calmed down I apologized and told them I was just in a bad mood. I still am genuinely upset and angry because I don't feel like it was a genuine judgement when I'm insecure about being behind the wheel. They never encourage me to drive. I felt like she was nitpicking when a simple ""you drove fine"" would've sufficed. So aita for getting upset?",AITA for blowing up at my little sister when she said I drove “kinda” well,YTA
10v4kvq,"Right now I do feel like the asshole but for context I was recently diagnosed as autistic. Me and my psychologist think that's the reason I hate people touching me or saying compliments about me about 10 minutes ago I asked my mum to stop calling me pretty or baby girl because it makes me uncomfortable and makes me feel worse about myself me after I asked she got mad and yelled at me saying that I have to get over myself and just do what others tell me to, I hate that I allowed myself to get mad at her back I yelled that I did my 18 years of not thinking for myself and I finally have learnt to not let others ignore my bounderis she then told me to suck it up and that I'm acting like a child. Am I the asshole?(Sorry for the bad text this is my first time posting)",AITA for asking my mum to not call be pretty,NTA
10umbti,"When I was born my mom opened a savings account for me, it's supposed to be a ""future studies"" account (but at the end of the day that's just a label).Anyways, I go to uni now and do a lot of work on my laptop, my previous laptop was really shitty to the point I had to pray for Office programs to work smoothly. Then one day I remembered the savings account so I bought a new laptop.Now my mom is mad because she thinks it was an unnecessary purchase, she argues that it's not my money since I didn't work for it and therefore I shouldn't have bought it, and she swears that I'm gonna use this new laptop to play video games. Since she thinks it's her money she has the right to take away my laptop as ""punishment"" for every little discussion we have.I told her that it's my money since it's to my name in MY bank account and that I used it for it's intended purpose because it helps me with my studies so she shouldn't take it away nor guilt trip me into believing that I do not deserve it. Now she calls me an AH for being disrespectful even though I just don't agree with what she says (all her ""arguments"" I mentioned previously). Now I wonder if I'm the AH and it is her money after all so she has the right to do and say all I wrote before",AITA for using money that was in my bank account?,NTA
10tgni8,"My, 16f, mom is an addict so my and my brothers, both 14, don't see her much and haven't in almost a year now. My dad is a good dad but when it comes to girl stuff, he is utterly useless. He's also not working right now due to the hours not being there for him so he's really struggling. My school does provide period products but they won't provide tampons to girls under 18 for some unknown reason, and when you ask for more than one pad, the receptionist gets really shitty with you for no good reason. I asked my dad for money this morning because we're completely out at home and the receptionist wouldn't give me a spare yesterday. He asked what I needed money for and I told him it was for tampons. He said he hasn't got it and I said he also hasn't got the money to be doing extra laundry, because this is the sort of stuff I can't just live without. He told me to ask my mom, so I texted her and she still hasn't responded. I asked him again, and he lost his shit. I got angry back, I told him of one of the boys needed new socks that wouldn't be an issue or if we had no milk it'd br an issue, so why is it not okay for me to get what I need when they can get what they need. He told me to fuck off out of his face and the boys have been a bit arsey with me all day as well. I'm not sure if I'm being the asshole here. I know I need tampons, but I also know that they're not cheap and I pressured him a bit. AITA?",AITA for asking my dad for money for period products?,NTA
10uwvpx,"I 19F got into an argument with my shift manager who’s like in his 50’s today at work. We work at a deli As soon as I arrived to work my friend and coworker immediately told me that he was in a bitchy mood like always and I responded not surprised because he always is and never does anything except wash dishes. I made a mistake with an order and made the regular sized sandwich when it was supposed to be smaller, he noticed it and pointed it out to me and said  “this is regular” and nothing else so I said just okay and continued with my work. Then as we’re preparing the order to be handed to the customer I saw him put it to the side so I grabbed it and gave it to the customer. Then he said to me “did you not make a smaller size” and I just responded saying that I thought we could just give it to them like that. He didn’t say anything and went up to his friend who he also lives with and started talking to her about it behind my back when I was right there and could hear him. I head him say something along the lines of “apparently we just do what we want now” but that’s all I could hear because he was trying to speak low. I then up went to his friend and asked why he was getting so worked up over a sandwich and she didn’t say anything and I guess he kinda heard me talking to his friend because he asked me what was up and I told him why he was getting so worked up over a sandwich and he said “excuse me” and went on to say that he wasn’t mad and that he clearly told me to make a smaller sandwich and didn’t and I said that I was never told to make another one he just pointed out that it was regular and he continued to lie and say that he told me he did but didn’t. I asked one of my coworkers to explain to him what we usually do when we accidentally make the wrong size which is that we usually sell it anyways because our general manager tells us to. He starts saying that he’s confused then. I begin to get mad because he kept repeating that he told me to make a smaller size. He then starts saying “I’m not going to argue with you” and I said okay then don’t argue and he responds saying “ if I were you I wouldn’t take that tone then says that he’s going to do something if I do” and I said “okay what are you gonna do?” And he said go home so I just walked out. AITA?",AITA for arguing with my manager?,NTA
10uwu50,"For context I'm 21F - lived out of home for almost a year with my partner, it's my 22nd birthday next week! I grew up mainly with my single dad, I am an only daughter. We are super close and aways have been, however we never had much money growing up. My dad is now with my step mum, they've been together for about 4 years. She has 3 kids and 2 grand kids. 2 days ago my step mum posted in our family group chat that nobody will be getting presents this year for their birthday or Christmas. This has kind of thrown me through a loop since my father always gets me something, I dont mean anything extravagant or insanely expensive. Things like pot plants, DVDs or meaningful calanders or cards etc. And I am very happy with that! Due to the meaning behind it.I just feel kind of disheartened by this due to it being my first birthday out of home, and I want to message my dad how I feel about this situation.Would I be the asshole for bringing this up?",WIBTA for getting upset about presents?,NTA
10uwtct,"AITA; my boyfriend ordered pizza and I didn't eat itSo the last 4 weeks I've (33f) been trying to watch what I eat, trying to behave when it comes to carbs. I messed waaaaaay up last weekend, ate a ton of pizza popcorn and we went to bubbas and got all the fries and shrimp sandwiches. I wish I would have had more control but alas I did not. So this whole week I've been trying to extra healthy, making my own keto snacks, bread, meals, trying to behave I really want to lose the weight. Well tonight I was like, man I'm kinda hungry but I don't really have anything planned for dinner. And then I showed my boyfriend (32m) the keto bowls they have a papa John's. A little bit later he comes back in to the living room says he ordered dinner. He ordered papa John's which was super nice and I am grateful he got food for everyone (we live with my 2 kids 11 and 12).... buuuut he didn't get the keto bowl. It upset me a tiny bit but I was like meh  that's OK. But then, he said, you gonna have some pizza? And I said oh no thank you! I said thank you for ordering the pizza. But he got mad because I didn't want to eat the pizza. And I told him I was grateful that he ordered the pizza but I really do want to try to behave and I don't feel like he's being supportive. I'm not trying to bitch about the pizza by any means. I told him I would have been more than happy to put in for some of it and even buy my own keto bowl. But he said that I ate popcorn so I'm not even trying to go into ketosis...and that I don't even know what that means. But I've been doing a lot of research on it and as long as you stay below a certain amount  of carbs a day you will hit ketosis so the little bit of popcorn I had is ok. He told me that I am stupid so I told him he was being inconsiderate.  But idk if he was actually being inconsiderate because he ordered pizza for everyone. So.... AITATLDR; I've been trying to do keto but my boyfriend doesn't support me. He ordered pizza for dinner tonight and I didn't eat it. But I was sure to let him know that I appreciated the thought, I just really want to lose weight.Little bit of back story, I've lived with my boyfriend going 2 years now, before that, I was a single mother of 2 boys for about 10 years, any time we ordered pizza, it would be a large stuffed crust pepperoni pizza, the boys would eat their pizza and I would eat their crust (it's always been their least favorite part) my 12 yo c ame out with his cheese stuffed crust not really knowng what to do with it, I told him I wanted it, and only peeled the cheese out if the bread, BF states, shell eat it when you offer but not when I do, I see how it is. But I only peeled the  cheese out of the bread. I didn't eat the crust,only the cheese.",AITA for not eating the pizza my boyfriend ordered,NTA
10ul8dv,"I (18 F) am white. I have short hair that is buzzed on both sides and the back. Needless it's not long enough to put into ponytails. Today I planned on cooking. I don't like my hair getting in my face and asked my mom to braid it. Unfortunately, it was too short to go into one braid. So she separated it into 22 very tiny braids that start at the front of my hair and move to the back. I posted a picture on my Snapchat story and over the past 6 hours have been receiving messages from my (white) friends that these are cornrows and I'm not allowed to wear them. I was confused because I've worn these multiple times throughout my life and never knew the name of them. Upon googling, it does say that it's racist for a white person to wear them.Well, I got upset because I'm simply trying to cook and posted a video of myself saying that I wasn't trying to appropriate culture and simply had no other way to keep my hair back. Soon I received a bunch of snaps saying ""hairband"" or ""wear a hat"" and things like that. I received 17 messages in total. Now, I don't have many Snapchat friends and everyone on there is people who I care about. It was shocking seeing all this. So, I posted a final video with a hat saying: ""are yall happy now?"" This was 3 hours ago and I've received 8 more messages telling me I'm an asshole and a bitch and racist. These messages are all from people I know IRL and have some kind of acquaintance with. I have never been so disliked by my friends. 3 blocked me, 7 unfollowed me. It's making my anxiety spike. Another confusing thing is that only my white friends commented on it. None of my black friends said anything. But that may be because they don't want to deal with me or are used to it. I don't think I was racist/culturally appropriating, but I could be wrong.So, am I the asshole in this situation?EDIT: 2 braids, not 22. That was a typo. My apologies.EDIT 2: I'm not comfortable showing my face and don't know how to add images, but here is what [my hair looks like](https://images.app.goo.gl/Q5kwNc4FQjPCZ6sM9), but mine is 2-3 inches shorter.",AITA for wearing 2 small braids?,NTA
10uv6wq,"My aunt has recently moved into my house (she moved in a couple of months ago) and i really do love her. We're really close and in my culture I actually refer to her with a word that means ""mom"" and even everyone else in my family says shes like a second mom to me. However, she's been doing this one thing that really bugs me and today I just snapped.I(15F) am a very shy person. I like having my own space and retreat to my room often. I also struggle with depression and am very self conscious so I try to cover my body with loose clothes to hide myself. Recently, my aunt has been trying to come to my room after im done showering and getting dressed. It's just because she wants to talk to me in the morning but I don't like it, I dont wanna be seen naked by her!She gets really annoyed at this since when I was a baby she would change my diaper and bathe me so she's seen me naked but still, it feels different now that I'm older. Today I got really upset when she swung by room while i was getting dressed. I was still in my robe but even as she tried opening the door i just kept repeating to her ""I'm getting dressed, i'm getting dressed"". She got annoyed as always and pulled up her shirt over her chest and started saying things like ""See? It's my boobs, youve seen mine now i can see yours. it's not even a big deal okay?"" This made me really overwhelmed and upset so I shut my eyes tight and slammed the door and started shouting at her to leave me alone and go away.My moms really mad at how I reacted and agrees that her seeing me naked (or vice versa) isnt that big of a deal and I'm overreacting so, aita in this situation?",AITA for shouting at my aunt and slamming the door on her?,NTA
10tyql0,"I 38M have 2 boys. Mark 12M and Steven 16M. Steven recently came home past his curfew, but it's not a reoccurring issue. He's got good grades, helps out around the house, and is generally respectful. He's a big help and because of that we are a little lenient with him. Sometimes you're having a good time and time slips by, no biggy. Mark is also a great kid, but he's been doing things that are just kind of conniving?  First was Mark going into Steven's room. Mark told me with kind of a smirk that he found Steven had a pile up of dishes in his room, which isn't allowed. Once you're done with your food, I expect you to bring your dishes down at the end of the day. I talked to Steven about it, and he apologized. His punishment? Washing his dishes by hand. We have a dishwasher, but I felt it fitting to make him do it by hand. However, what concerned me was Mark shouldn't have been in Steven room in the first place. I get it, though. My older brothers room always seemed so cool when I grew up. But I told Mark to stay out of Steven's room unless he has Steven's permission. Another time, Mark came to us about Steven playing an inappropriate game. GTA V. My wife and I bought him the game. Mark didn't know about it cause we didn't want him playing it and being exposed to that content (yet). Mark was in Steven's room watching him play the game. He stayed to watch him play and told us later that night. Yet again, it seemed like Mark was getting a kick out of telling us. I sat Steven down and explained to him that while we are allowing him to have this game and are comfortable with him viewing mature material, I don't want him exposing Mark to it. Lastly was Steven coming home late from his friend's. Me and my wife knew he was late because when he gets home, he usually knocks on our door and lets us know. Plus, I heard him (clumsily) try to sneak in without us noticing. My wife was asleep at the time, so I just pretended not to hear and let it slide. However, the next morning, Mark brings it up with a grin. I asked Steven about it, and he admitted and apologized. I told him that if he was going to be late, he could have at least contacted us. I told him he couldn't go out for the rest of the weekend (I knew he was using the weekend to study anyway). The thing is, I want my kids to stick together. I also didn't appreciate Mark telling on his brother to humor himself. So I told Mark that since he enjoys telling on his brother so much, he's punished too (same punishment). Especially since steven admitted to coming home at a time  past marks bedtime. After the kids had dispersed, my wife told me she didn't approve. I explained that Mark is clearly getting a kick out of getting Steven in trouble, but my wife explained that if Steven was following the rules, he wouldn't get in trouble in the first place. She thinks I'm being unfair to Mark. I doubled down, and now my wife is obviously bothered by my decision and making it very clear. Am I the asshole?",AITA for punishing both my kids?,NTA
10v3wy6,"I (21f) haven't been feeling up for going out like i used to. Things have been a little different for me and i dont have the energy to listen to my friends' vent about their issues all the time. (same issues usually over and over again). I want to supportive and a nice friend as they have been friends with me for over 7+ years. But i am running out of energy and empathy. I don't want to talk about it to them because I'm sure they will think of me as being selfish. I don't think i am selfish, when it really matters i try my best to be with them. Sometimes i dont even think of it as a two way street. All i do is listen and not be heard because they always talk over whatever I'm saying. I don't really have any issues currently but have been very stressed about my academics and my future. So much so that i get panic attacks and everytime i cancel my friend starts being passive aggressive. I don't know what to do.",AITA for not wanting to go out?,NTA
10uuvpd,"I have been struggling with my mental health and it had been affecting my work. I asked for a position within the company with a less pressure involved but was not given that option, in fact my boss gave me an unjustified written warning, after I asked. I have successfully disputed the warning and it’s been taken off my employee record, but things have been tense ever since.He has now approached me this morning and has come up with a role that has less pressure and I would work on a 4 day week instead of 5. Now I have been applying for other jobs and have an interview lined up for what would be my dream job. However the interview is not until tomorrow and I’ve to give an answer to my current employer today. I definitely want to take the other role within this company as back up in case my interview is not successful. However I think I would feel bad if my interview is successful and I would move onto a new company within 2 weeks of me accepting the new proposed role in my current company.",WIBTA if I accept a new role and leave the company within 2 weeks of acceptance,NTA
10uusbu,"My work sometimes require me to do split shift with 3 to 4 hours break in between, going back home and back to work took around an hour, longer if there are traffic jam and also there is the cost of fuel,so i would just stay in staff rest area during that time, catching some needed sleep and restJon only work afternoon shift and came in few times for his break and each time he will just switch on the TV and watch his phone ( not once did he watch tv, as his face is stick to the phone from my observation ), then leave without switching off the TV,i would just switch off tv as no one is watching after he left, after an hour or 2, Jon return and when he saw the tv is off, he would start going on about why can't the TV stay on and why would anyone switch it offthe sound of tv always woke me from my restmany coworker is not happy with that also but only i voice my disconcert to himbasically i just ask him weather he is watching TV or his phone and can he either pick one to dothen he start about how he is watching both and i have no right to order him to do anythingi had just been woke up by the tv and not in a good mood and we got into a heated argument and someone from works council got involved and ended the argumentI personally have no problem with people wanting to watch TV during my rest, they have the freedom to do soBUTswitching on TV and not watching it and those who watch video on phone without headphone are justPS: Jon is the only one who switch on the TV for random show, other time the tv is on if there are sport match like football or rugby, most of the time tv is offaddon: i have ear plug and eye mask on but the placement of bed is so near the tv that it didn't help, also i don't own a carafter the argument worker community moved the bed to a corner further away  from the tv  INFO on work hours   my normal hours is 9:30am till 5:30pm   when i need to work shift it depend  9:30am till 3pm (sometime it can end at 4 or 5 pm) then 6.30pm till 9pm  or  9:30am till 5pm then 8pm till 10:30pm ",AITA for telling my coworker to either watch the TV or his phone during his break,YTA
10trbib,"My friends Kara and Tony are getting married tomorrow. I went to college with Kara and got to be buddies with Tony too over the last couple years they've been dating so they asked me to be in the wedding.This AM Tony came to me and told me Kara wants me to shave my beard cause all the other men in the wedding are clean shaven and it'll ""ruin the photos"". I said no and she FREAKED. Let me clarify, my beard isn't particularly long and I get it styled by my barber so its not uneven or scruffy.I hate the way I look without a beard since I have a total babyface. I haven't shaved since college, funny enough Kara is probably the only person I still talk to who's even seen me without it. If I shaved it it would take me months to grow it back.I offered to just not be in the wedding party, but that would mean she'd have to drop a bridesmaid which she doesn't want to do either. Now everyone is ganging up on me and saying to just suck it up and shave the thing off so she's happy. I really don't want to do it and I'm standing my ground.AITA?",AITA for refusing to shave my beard for my friend's wedding?,NTA
10uw9ek,"My grandma 76F and grandpa lived few minutes away from us. Grandpa died a month back. I have 2 aunts who lives far with their inlaws. My grandpa gets pension, so will grandma. Me (17F), mom and dad live in a 2bhk house. Mom and my relationship with grandma is very sour. 10 years back when we used to live together, she abused my mom, taunted her, humiliates my mom's family. So tbh I HATE her. Idk about that,he thinks he is the son, so she is his responsibility. I belong to an asian country where parents are responsible for the kid until they complete college not like we have to be financially independent at 18 itself and my dad wants me to do masters too.I am to go to college in a different city hostel in the next 6 months. He wants me to share my room with grandma now. But she is like a spy who overhears everything we talk among ourselves, misinterprets it and talk about it to outsiders and her daughters. She need someone to help her go to washroom, someone to bring her food which I know I'll have to do once she starts living here.We have a flat nearby, I told dad she should stay there as its vacant and not in my room occupying half of it. My room is my everything. I spend my whole day there studying and sleeping. As she can't stay alone she could keep a caretaker or dad could stay there, and I can stay here with mom, as the distance is 15 mins by car. My dad said I am being inconsiderate. But I don't want to be not free to speak with my mom as I desire or share my room with a person whom I hate. I said grandma is dad's responsibility, not mine or my mom's. I have not inherited any ancestral property, nor my dad. So I don't owe them anything. That flat was bought by dad, with his own money. They made 4 parts of small amount of money they saved and gave 1 part each to my aunts, dad and kept 1 part for emergency. Dad used his part for the interiors of the flat, so I told him to take grandma there. AITA for not taking care of the old lady?",AITA for not sharing room with my paternal grandma?,NTA
10ub0yx,"My sister planned a 40th birthday cruise for her husband in 2020. My parents and myself (plus my husband and two kids) were the only people who said we’d come. The trip got canceled due to covid. Then my sister wanted her kids to be vaccinated for covid so got postponed again. Kids are now vaccinated and she could’ve planned it for this year, but wanted her kids to be a little older to make the trip easier. So now it is planned for 2024. I turn 40 in 2024 and my husband is planning a trip to Italy to see a Formula 1 race for my birthday. We can’t go to Alaska and Italy in the same year due to vacation time. I think my sis is wrong for not delaying the trip one more year so we can join. My mom says I should delay my birthday trip by a year so we can go on the Alaskan cruise. AITA for not wanting to reschedule my birthday trip?",AITA for not rescheduling my 40th birthday trip,NTA
10ub4w2,"I've been with my girlfriend for six months, we don't live together yet. I love my girlfriend and we have a lot in common with each other but the one thing that differentiates us is that she doesn't drink or do drugs at all. Not even wine with dinner. She's not an ex addict, she just doesn't like drinking. I however go out partying most weekends, I also like to smoke weed from time to time. Earlier this week one of my pals invited me to a party he was throwing at his house. So of course I agreed, plus my girlfriend was working this weekend so we didn't have anything planned. On Thursday I was at my parents house and I invited my younger sister to come with me. The party was on Friday. Obviously we all got drunk and my sister left in an Uber around 2am while I stayed overnight at my mates and went home at like 10am on Saturday. When I met up with my girlfriend in the afternoon and told her that I went to a party she became upset with me. She said that I should have invited her instead of sister. So I told her that she wouldn't have come anyway because not only was she working but also she never comes to any parties with me. And she told me it's just the fact that I didn't ask that makes her upset. So was AITA?",AITA for taking my sister to a party instead of my girlfriend?,NTA
10v3map,"Met a guy on tinder and hit it off, he has kids so I knew it would only be every second weekend we could meet, and we also lives 1 hour away from each other. We met 4 times, with sleepovers and things where going well, though something felt ”off”. He was coming over midweek Wednesday and the weekend after he was childfree. During the day I talk to a friend who lives 2 hours away and she asked to stay with me that weekend, as she always stays with me. So I text him and asks if he’s okay with that. He’s disappointed that we won’t see each other, says he doesn’t like sudden changes and that it’s not okay to ask, when he can’t say no. I apologize for the last part, cause I agree. But I didn’t understand the sudden change part as it was 1½ week in advance.We talked that evening, I said that while I understood that he could only see me every other weekend – I didn’t want to always met those weekends. He said he wanted to be girlfriend/boyfriend, and I said I wouldn’t date him if I didn’t think we could be headed that way, but I wasn’t there and I wasn’t sure. We went to sleep. Next morning he said he felt I said one thing but my face said another and he wanted us to be official now. I don’t know what me face told him, but I promise my mind and mouth was on the same page. We had a long conversation again I was feeling like we weren’t really compatible after all, and I ended things. He left, but shortly after the text started coming in. Constantly and all day, begging me to reconsider or asking why I even wanting him to come over, and why I changed my mind from the day before. I tried to explain that I didn’t really change my mind, I wasn’t sure, but from the mornings conversation I came to realize that this just wasn’t going to work, I didn’t blame him, but really, he showed how he didn’t listen to me, but only heard what he wanted to. He calmed down in the evening and I said I wasn’t going to take him back, but we could talk in few days (probably a dumb idea, cause he saw that as an opening)The day after he posted a picture of him at the hospital caption “so this Friday didn’t went as expected”, then texted me that he had a myocardial infarction. I said I was very sorry to hear, and hoped he would be alright. A few hours later he deleted the post, and sent me a long text about he would never open up again, and he learnt not to fall in love cause no one would love him back, but that he forgave me. I didn’t respond to that. an hour later he texted again that reactions said it all, as he would come to me if I was sad, but when he was potentially dying I reacted like he broke his finger… I said it was best to cut contact and wished him all the best and then blocked him.I feel bad about it, but it’s an extreme reaction to a month long relationship… I’m honestly not sure if he really did have a heart attack, but if he did, was I too cold? was I TA?",AITA for blocking a guy (40m) I(37f) known for a month who might have had a heart attack,NTA
10uqxxi,"I'm not going to state my exact age, but I'm still in highschool. I'm underweight, about 30 pounds(~13kg) under the national average for my age and sex. This is on the thin side, but definitely not too bad. I have tried to eat more etc to bring my weight up, however this just hasn't worked for me.   Through most of my life, my family has called me things like ""bag of bones"", which considering that I've struggled with this all my life, is quite hurtful. On numerous occasions, I've asked them to please stop as I've often beaten myself up enough over this topic. However, after a month or two of not bringing it up, it would start again.   This brings us to yesterday. My family started making jokes about how skinny I am, how I need to eat more, exercise to put on muscle, you get the idea. I asked them to stop, and my mom and sister said ok and moved on. However, my father kinda blew up at me(not uncommon), he began to rant about how I need to ""not be so sensetive"" and ""toughen up"", and that I shouldn't be so offended by a little jab or two(this wasn't little jabs, this was them explicitly making fun of me for being thin).    So, asshole judges, AITA for asking them to not make fun of this aspect of my life?",AITA For asking that my family not make jokes about my weight?,NTA
10v0702,"Background: I (21F) am going overseas to visit my dad with my cousin Melanie (20F). We are leaving in a few weeks and my cousin Margaret (22F) asked my family to join. The background is really long and complicated so I will try to be unbiased: Margaret and I had a falling out almost a decade ago, her mom forced her to go NC with the extended family, and Margaret has not reached out since.INFO: I recently learned it was her mother forcing Margaret to cut us (my sister and Melanie) out of her life and she was instructed to block us on social media for a number of years. I am not mad about that because we were kids, but I am upset because Margaret now speaks to Melanie and my sister, but not me. For my own reasons, I reached out to Margaret 3-4 years ago about wanting to have a relationship with my family and she agreed, but she has not made an effort to reach out since.I regularly talk to Melanie and told her she can give my number to Margaret if she asks. Honestly, I was hurt she didn't want to talk to me and I understand that is her choice, but I blocked her on social to force myself to move on.THE TRIP: Melanie and I are leaving soon and Margaret wants to come despite us not talking. My family said it was not a good time until her and I work out our issues and I found out today that my sister thinks I am the issue. She thinks it is all coming from me: that it is just me that does not want to talk to her. I wish Margaret well and hope she is ok, but IMO too much time has passed for me to have a close relationship with her at this point in my life.I reached out to her multiple times from 2016-2018 and the last time I reached out was 2019, she replied and has not once reached out to me. AITA for not wanting her to come on the trip? I just think it would be awkward if she came b/c we don't talk and it would make spending time with my dad a little difficult.",AITA for excluding a cousin on a vacation with my family?,NTA
10ti9gg,"I (f 22) have had one of the hardest weeks of my life this week. I am in the middle of Student Teaching and I am also in the process of finding a job for the 2023-24 school year. This week I had an interview, I had a principal observe me teach a lesson, I had a friend pass away this week. All while I’m still taking college courses, so I come home to homework in the evenings. My partner (25m) is aware of all of this and he is student teaching too. But he is not interested in getting a teaching job after graduation so he is not feeling the pressure near as much as me. He is also not enrolled in any college courses. Yesterday during the day, I texted him “I’m so hungry! I haven’t eaten real food in so long.” His response was “let’s go out to eat tonight! Or I’ll make dinner.” I said “omg yes PLEASE!!”I love when he cooks and I love when he takes me out. So I was excited. I had to stay after school for a couple hours yesterday to help my cooperating teacher with something, so I didn’t get to my partners place until 7pm. At 7:30 pm my partner starts making French toast sticks. Right before putting it in the microwave, he asks “did you want any?” This Immediately pissed me off. For obvious reasons I feel like. I was hungry, and he offered to feed me actual dinner. He noticed I was annoyed and asked why. I told him it was because I thought he was going to get me dinner. His response was “this is just a snack. I wasn’t thinking about dinner”. At this point, he said it wasn’t too late to think of what I wanted for dinner. But I was just mad at this point. It was 7:30pm and this isn’t his first time not following through on a plan.So I just grabbed my phone to order food. I am about to finish my order when he looks at my phone and says “so you’re not going to get me anything or ask if I want food?” At this point I was livid, all of a sudden, dinner plans were on me because he couldn’t follow through with the dinner plans he offered. We basically argued until I just walked out. AITA for getting upset over these dinner plans that didn’t follow through? Then trying to order my own food. Like I said, I’ve had a hard week and I honestly feel like I deserve more. If my partner offers to have dinner for me, that’s what I expect. Not French toast sticks at 7:30 pm on a Friday night after I haven’t eaten all day. His whole point is that he is exhausted from this week too. But I think that’s BS. Don’t make dinner plans then.[24 hours later… update::::](https://www.reddit.com/user/thesearemylens/comments/10uez2t/update_aita_for_walking_out_after_my_partner/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)",AITA for walking out after my partner didn’t have dinner plans made?,NTA
10umyhz,"Some Background - I (M26) lost my father when I was 18. Before he died, I was very close to my grandparents, and had spent most of my summers with them. My grandmother died a year before my father, and after about a year my father died. It was difficult to say the least, and while everything was going on, my grandfather was nowhere to be seen. He never visited and he never called. In the past 10 years I managed to graduated from uni, get my masters and went through a lot of other family issues. This morning, my brother sent me and my siblings a message that our grandfather is in the hospital, and asked if anyone was visiting him. I honestly felt that I don't feel obligated to go visit him, since he was not there when I needed him.As a side note, he is quite close with my cousins, and voluntarily spends time with them. He even drives them around. Meanwhile, he never made any effort with me and my siblings. So AITA?",AITA for not caring that my grandfather is in the hospital?,NTA
10uuc5k,"This isn't juicy like the other stories, but I just need confirmation here.Ok so my sister recently got a rabbit a few months ago and was really excited. We established BEFORE we got the rabbit that it would be her responsibility to take care of it. She is supposed to clean up after it, brush it, feed it, give it water, all the necessary things for a rabbit. She took care of it up until about two months ago. She works different times like from 7:00 - 1:00 and 12:00 to various times. I understand that she works a lot, but she's still here a lot of the time. At this point she's doing it on purpose because she will be home on her bed (which is right next to our rabbits food and water) and asks me to change his water and give him food (I sleep further away from all of his things). I understand she works a lot, but she's never tired from work, she stays up all night on Instagram talking to her friends and blasting music on her speaker. It's really annoying how she expects me to always take care of HER rabbit when she should be the responsible one (she's 16 almost 17 and I'm 13) it just makes no sense seeing how I'm always taking care of her rabbit that she AGREED to take care of when she easily can.I'm always busy trying to focus on my upcoming play and dance which takes a lot of practice which she doesn't respect most of the time. She's always getting upset when I don't do it, saying that I'm not doing anything ( remind you, she's not doing anything either ) and never picks up the rabbit's poop, the food he spills, and never brushes him, she just leaves it all to me. I still try to take care of him but it's hard to remember to do things. Besides all that, she literally wakes me up at night or in the morning just to feed him when she has way more than enough time. I told her to take care of it herself and she got mad at me. I constantly try to make her take responsibility again but she won't have it, we constantly argue about it, but in the end I always do it because I feel bad for the rabbit. And her reasoning for all of this is because she's always working and she deserves a break from doing things since she's always taking care of us. (She really doesn't take care of us and I end up watching over myself and the rabbit since I'm more mature than her and she's always going out with friends and going to her dad's house) So I'm just wondering, AITA for not wanting to take care of my sisters rabbit?",AITA for getting upset when I have to take care of my sisters rabbit?,NTA
10u8wp0,"I (F30) am a registered nurse associate (RNA) on a busy ward with acutely unwell patients that are admitted straight from A&E. When I first qualified about 6 months ago I would do my job and I’d do it well. I have always been a team player and if I do say so myself, a bit of a push over, doing things that were asked of me that weren’t necessarily my responsibility. Every shift when I’d finished my own tasks, l would often help in other teams that were busier than mine. I know how stressful and overwhelming it can be when you’ve got seriously poorly patients.About 2 months ago I was working a day shift with another RNA and a ward Sister. My team was so busy that I barely made it through the day without a break down. I had 3 admissions within the space of an hour. One patient who’d had a stroke and was unresponsive, one having seizures who aspirated on vomit and a breathless patient that was struggling to breathe. While I was running around struggling, the other RNA sat at a her meds trolly on the computer the whole day. I’m not even exaggerating, she was sat there all day, she had no patient movement at all in her team and no poorly patients. She didn’t once offer me any help. On another occasion I had a patient admitted riddled with pressure ulcers to the point where I didn’t know what I was looking at and how to document them. I went to ask the 2 senior RNs sat at the nurses station for their help and they both fully ignored me. When I asked again they said they were busy. These are 2 of the nurses that normally take charge of the ward, who often go without breaks. I normally take it upon myself to do their admission paperwork for new patients so they can go get a break. anyway, to cut a long story short I feel like I’m always helping others but not getting the same in return. These are just 2 of the many things that have made me want to quiet quit, or at some points just plain quit. Last night I had a nice quiet team, while the same 2 RNs I was on with previously had around 4 admissions each and both didn’t get a full break. I didn’t offer them any help at all and I feel so guilty about it. It’s not in my nature to not help. AITA for deciding to no helping anyone with anything anymore.",AITA for quiet quitting at work?,NTA
10tooib,"My wife wants to go to a nice dinner. I agreed to it. However, she wants to go above and beyond and wants me to wear a suit. I Hate wearing suits, but I told her I’d do it if she wears a nice dress. Now, I didn’t say it; but it’s obvious that she would need to buy a new dress. I even offered to pay for it. Apparently this isn’t fair because she didn’t like the idea because a dress type I suggested would be more than what she’s comfortable wearing. She did however used to wear this type a couple years ago. Aita?Edit: I’m going to cancel our plans. Looks like we’re at an impasse. Thanks for chiming in.",AITA for telling my wife I would wear a suit to dinner if she wears a nice dress?,YTA
10usv6v,"I live with my brother. I do all the grocery shopping and cook dinner every night. I’m under no obligation to do so, but he’s my brother and I love him and I love cooking and enjoy when other people like my meals. I average $300 every 2 weeks on groceries and I don’t complain about the cost. It’s food and it’s a necessity. I figure I would’ve spent the same cost if it was just me, so it was never a concern. I regularly buy him treats that I know he enjoys and keep dinner hearty and filling. He went out to the store and asked me if I needed anything. I asked if he could get me some chips and cookies. They were $20 in total, not the cheapest, I know. But I figure I spend 10x that and some cookies and chips wouldn’t be too much to ask for, right? He texted and told me they were $20 total. I feel like he brought up the cost for a reason. I offered to pay him back, and he said no that it was fine. But why bring up the cost unless it’s an issue? I went to the ATM this morning and got his $20 and gave them to him. He kept insisting I didn’t need to, but I just felt so embarrassed that he thought I was mooching off of him, even though I pay for a lot of our expenses. Anyway… long story short. It was on my mind and I got distracted and crashed into a car and when I came home I was even more upset. I left to get something and he left $200 on my desk. I gave them back and said I didn’t need his $200. It’s more the fact he said something about $20, when I’ve never said anything about all the money I’ve spent. It’s the principle, not the money. AITA?Edit: I was the asshole. Reading too much into a situation when he was likely just shocked at the price of food since he doesn’t buy it.",AITA for asking for $20 chips and cookies?,YTA
10uzyrv,Me and my best friend have known each other since elementary. I introduced her to my other best friend I known for 10 years. They hit it off pretty quick even though it was never intended to be romantic shes dated some of my guy friends before and I’ve fell out with them because of it. It got to the point when I liked a guy she took off with him. While she was with my boy best friend she cheated on him with an ex. They stopped talking and instead of him getting mad he agreed to be friends. After her and the ex fell out she started talking to him again. They were on and off for the next three years. When he decided enough was enough he cut her off and still was friends with me. We didnt stop Talking since we were friends way before me and her and was closer. His birthday was coming up and we went out after I felt guilty for hanging out with him and actually having fun. That would be the first time we hung out in a while. I told her when she was at my house she was kinda upset when I told her she wasn’t invited since they didnt get along. Am I the asshole,AITA for not telling my best friend I still hang out with her ex bsf/ex bf,NTA
10uvmid,"I (37F) have two kids. We will call the oldest one John and he is 15. The youngest one is just 3 and will be 4 this year. We will call him George. A year ago my son was diagnosed with a level 3 autism. I've tried hard to help him out since I'm the only one who knows how to handle him.  I rarely take him around my mother's side of the family because I feel like one of my brother's hates him. And, having autism and being hard of hearing, he just has a difficult time. When I do take him around, I let him be him and stim so that he can relax more. The one brother I have trouble with, we will call him Tom (30), accused me of being insensitive to my own sons needs the other day! Tom got mad that I call my son Stimmy Timmy instead of his name George. Tom accused me of being a bad parent and not taking my son's issues seriously. He also tried to tell me it isnt a good thing to let my boy stim, telling me it meant he was overstimulated. I told him he's wrong, he doesn't know. He doesn't have autism. My son does. I know better than Tom does and it infuriates me that he said something like this to me. When I confronted Tom about this (It's not like George knows, he is hard of hearing anyways and doesn't respond well to spoken words), my other sibling defended Tom. It got to the point that our parents joined in and started calling me a bad parent. I feel insane because they all jumped on my back. It's just a nickname. AITA?",AITA for calling my kid a nickname?,YTA
10tssg7,"I (f23) am a masters student, and privately tutor a few kids in maths as a side hustle.One of the kids I tutor, Zoe (f15), already had pretty decent grades before I started tutoring her. I normally tutor Zoe for around 3 hours a week in three 1 hour sessions after school at the library.Yesterday I was scheduled to tutor Zoe after school. When she got to our meeting spot she was crying her heart out. I asked her what was wrong and she told me she found her cat dead that morning before school. I told Zoe we could do our session another day and that she should go home and try to relax. Zoe agreed and I drove her home and dropped her off.Zoe's parents are now irritated and said that I should've asked for their permission before taking thei daughter home and cancelling the tutoring session.I told them I wouldn't charge them for the session that we missed but they said that's not the point, and that I should've contacted them before making the decision to cancel the session and take Zoe home. They said I was overstepping.They said they wouldn't fire me ""this time"" because my tutoring has gotten Zoe's grades up and my rate is reasonable but they told me to think about what I did.I really don't think it's that serious and I think they're overreacting when I was just trying to be compassionate to their daughter. Was I the asshole?Edit: okay so a few people were wondering, and Zoe would normally walk home from the library (it's around a 15 minute walk and she has a key to the house), but I just felt bad and decided to drive her home.",AITA for cancelling a private tutoring session without contacting the student's parents for their permission?,NTA
10tkhvq,"I (19F) just moved into an apartment with two other girls, Kayla and Maya (both 21F). Two days ago, I had my boyfriend Liam (20M) over, and we were hanging out between classes. We lost track of time while talking and realized that if we didn’t leave in the next couple of minutes that I’d be late for my afternoon class. I rushed to the bathroom to pee, and a moment later my boyfriend knocked on the door and told me to hurry up because he had to go too. We really didn’t have much time left and I still needed to brush my teeth and check my hair and makeup, and I wasn’t going to do that with him pissing in the bathroom. My mind raced and the only thing I could think of was to tell Liam to use my roommate Kayla’s bathroom, as her bedroom door is right across from mine and I know she doesn’t lock her door.Liam went and used Kayla’s bathroom, and five minutes later we were out the door. I barely made it to class on time, but I made it, so I relaxed and things went on as normal. However, when I got out of class, I had some missed texts from my roommate group chat. I opened it to see Kayla asking if anyone used her bathroom while she was at work. Maya had said no, that she’d been gone since 9 and wouldn’t be back until after a thing with her sorority sisters. I responded saying I didn’t use it, thinking there was no way she really knew that someone had been in there while she was out. I put my phone away and headed to the food court to grab something for dinner, then went back home, only to find Kayla on the couch watching tv. I said hi and just headed straight for my room, but before I could get my door unlocked Kayla asked “Why was Liam in my bathroom?” I asked her what she meant, and she told me she found ashes in the sink and a cigarette butt in the trash. Liam is the only one of use or our partners that actively smokes cigarettes. I figured at that point I was caught and admitted that I told him to use her bathroom when we were in a rush to leave. She told me that’s no excuse and reminded me that not only did we “violate her privacy” but that Maya and her have already asked that Liam not smoke inside the apartment. None of them like the smell of cigarettes and Kayla especially dislikes them because she grew up with a chain smoking father. I tried to apologize again and asked why it was such a big deal, because she never locks her door so what exactly does she expect? She told me she shouldn’t have to tell me as an adult to not go into her bedroom without permission, then got up and went into her room, slamming it and locking the door. I called Liam upset about it and told him what happened and he said Kayla was overreacting. I think so too, but she hasn’t spoken to me since and has been ignoring me. Maya has talked to me noticeably less as well. I’m wondering if I messed up here or if they’re just overreacting for real.EDIT- For clarification since everyone focusing on the smoking thing, the apartment is not smoke free. The entire apartment complex is smoke friendly. Maya and Kayla have no problem with Liam smoking on the patio or outside and disposing his cigarettes in my trash or the kitchen trash, but it’s in the 30s outside so I let him smoke in my bedroom because he shouldn’t have to be freezing cold while he smokes. It’s in my room so it’s nbd. And Kayla has let me use her bathroom once before so of course I didn’t think letting Liam do it would blow up like this. Also we have individual leases so they can’t “kick me off the lease.” They can’t kick me out for letting Liam smoke.EDIT 2– OKAY!! I REALIZE I WAS THE ASSHOLE!! I wasn’t trying to argue in the comments I was just clarifying things. I’m going to try and apologize to Kayla again. I just want to get past this.EDIT 3- I literally never said I’ve only lived with Kayla and Amaya for two days. I moved in a week before the semester began. I’ve lived here for a month",AITA For Telling My Boyfriend To Use My Roommate’s Bathroom?,YTA
10v38tw,"I work in an extracurricular organization in university and was given some org funds to use on some things. I ended up getting everything done with the money that they gave me and had quite a bit left over. I'm not the Treasurer of the org so I tried to hand it over to the Treasurer, but they refused and said that I should just ""keep it with me for now."" And on a separate occasion, I also told the President of the org that I wanted to surrender the funds, and they also said to keep it with me. So I just kept it with me in my personal closet at home.  Fast forward a couple months later, our house was broken into and the money that I kept was stolen. I want to let them know that I feel that they are liable too because first: it wasn't my job to keep it in the first place, and second: I told them that I wanted to surrender it back to the Treasurer on two separate occasions. I think I am partially liable too because the money was lost under me, but I really don't feel like I should be paying for all of it out of my pocket as they are suggesting.",AITA for wanting my colleagues to pay for the money I lost?,YTA
10v381r,"So last night me (17m) and my brother (15m) were fucking about, as you do, when I decided to pretend to crack pepper in his hair which he laughed off. Little did I know that he decided to crack pepper in my bed. I found this out later when I was looking for my vape juice ( don't judge, using a vape to successfully quit nicotine). I thaught he took it when he put pepper in my bed (turns out he didn't). I asked him where it was but of course he didn't know so I decided to put pepper in his bed (dickhead move I know) but when I did this he physically attacked me while screaming at me to get out of his room while blocking me in. When I did finally make it out of his room he sprinted, pepper in hand, to my room so I attacked him (I gave him ample opportunity to leave). I also threw his glasses onto the floor so I wouldn't accidentally crush them. He then ran out of my room with my vape and threw it on the ground. This is the point my mum intervened. I decided that I was going to my dad's house so I started packing and at some point my brother decided to kick the window on a door I was stood on the other side of which shattered the window. I made it to my dad's house and know that I was an ass holding for doing some of what I did but I was to know I I'm the ass hole for insisting that my brother goes to therapy before I talk to him again. So AITA?",AITA for wanting by brother to go to therapy before I talk to him,ESH
10uzt3t,"I (NB25) have had a tumultuous relationship with my father (56) since I was in high school. He used to have a pretty bad alcohol problem and did some pretty scary things when I was younger. He doesn't drink like that anymore, and so we've sort of rebuilt our relationship, mostly for the sake of my mom (56) who I am close to.My dad works as an expat in the Middle East and gets $19k from the company to leave the country for 20 days (it's required for his work visa). They sometimes offer to take me and my sibling, and this year they decided to go to Vietnam/Cambodia/Thailand. I've always wanted to go, so I said yes while my sibling said no. I feel very lucky to get to go on these trips with them covering the expenses, and I make sure to take care of the bags/finding restaurants/helping find things to do in addition to saying thank you and paying for dinner sometimes to show my appreciation.Onto the incident: About a week into our trip, we decide to go to a local restaurant for dinner in Siem Reap. The place is pretty much dead, with a few people coming in and out and 2 people working in the actual restaurant. While we were waiting, my dad picked up my phone and tried to get into it (without asking, mind you). When he couldn't get in because he doesn't know my passcode, he handed it to me and told me to start playing music out loud. I said no, this is a public space and I don't want to disturb other people (like the people working there) by playing music out loud. He got mad and accused me of contradicting everything he says/asks me to do. I can only think of 2 other times on this trip I told him no: when he told me to try intermittent fasting and when he told me to try being an expat teacher abroad to make more money. Honestly, these are things I have no interest in, and I don't feel like I'm just saying no to say no, but I'd appreciate some outside perspectives. I don't get along with him very well already, and now he's avoiding talking to me and won't look me in the eye. So, AITA?Tldr: dad told me to play music out loud in a public restaurant and I said no, now he’s mad and there’s a lot of tension.Edit: I feel a bit silly rereading the post and looking at comments - I think I just felt like I must have done something wrong given how upset he was. Thanks for the validation kind strangers! I’ll make sure to continue to assert my boundaries around him, and I think this is my last trip with both my mom and dad. Not worth feeling as shitty as I do when he reacts that way.",AITA for refusing to play music out loud in a public restaurant?,NTA
10uskv3,"To keep it short but sweet.When my brother does anything that doesn’t involve the gym, he is incredibly lazy.I have had to put up with it my whole life. He keeps expecting people to DO stuff for him like figure out his homework that he procrastinates to the last second.And while you may think that doesn’t sound so bad….last week he asked me for help on a SYLLABUS QUIZ! A QUIZ THATS LITERALLY ON THE SYLLABUS FOR HIS CLASS! THE SYLLABUS HE HAS!I wish I was kidding but im just so done because he’s asking for my help again as if im in his fucking classes to know what his teachers want from him.  And i know he put no effort to seeing what the assignment was and that im just gonna waste my own time for his laziness. It’s been like this for YEARS.So I told him if I look at his assignment and it’s something easy he could’ve done himself to find another person whose time to wasteGrown ass man who cant’t do jack shit himself needs to figure it out and I guess i mostly wanted to vent.EDIT: A few more things I should mention is most of this is enabled by my parents and them forcing me to help him because they refuse to assess him for ADHD because “mental health does not exist in this family.”So I enabled it because my parents would not let me do otherwise.I also moved out to establish my own life and they still call me to stretch myself to be at their beck and call. My brother has just been an extra special pain in my side with it all.",AITA for telling my(25M) brother(23M) I’m not his tutor and he needs to figure out his college hw himself?,NTA
10umdca,"Context: I (16 M) am a junior mechanic at a Porsche Specialist, it is pretty obvious that we work/service and repair Porsches only. One day last month, this woman drives in unexpectedly (you are supposed to book before showing up) in a 2006 Toyota MR2. Me and the rest of the ground staff were confused but me being on break, I confront her, saying she cannot get her car serviced here as it is not a Porsche and we do not have the parts. Immediately, she screams back “I KNOW THE BOSS SO YOU BETTER FIX MY CAR” confused, I decide to call the Boss to confirm, obviously he denies knowing this person. After this call I politely ask the woman to leave the premises. She continues to scream at both me and the senior mechanics before eventually leaving after I threaten to call the police. A few days later I get shouted at by my boss because I denied a ‘well paying customer’ which was total bs. Even though all the witnesses defended me, my pay was slighty cut (I was only being paid £7.50 and hour anyway). So am I the a## hole?",AITA for refusing to work on a car that our shop doesn’t supply for?,NTA
10v35d5,"I (17M) have a very strict teacher named Ms. Jones. I also have a weird bladder condition, not exactly sure what it is because I haven’t been to a doctor in 2-3 years, where my bladder seems to be a lot smaller as I constantly have to pee. Ms Jones doesn’t really like me constantly having to get up during almost every class she has had to have to go pee.Today I was in class with her where I had once again asked if I could go pee, to which she responds no, and that I take too many bathroom breaks. I wait a few minutes for her to wrap up what she’s doing and ask again, which she once again says no. Since I don’t want to ruin my clothes and I desperately needed to pee, I just decided to take a leak in her trashcan. I got written up for this and my parents had to be called, and I’ve been grounded for doing this. AITA?",AITA for peeing in my teachers trashcan after she wouldn’t let me use the bathroom during class?,NTA
10um8q8,"AITA for wanting my boyfriend who works 65+ hours a week to help more around the house?My boyfriend (M, 37) is a truck driver. He works M-F and leaves for work anytime between 2-4 AM. He gets home between 6-8 PM. He works between 65-75 hours a week.I (F, 37) work from home in Sales Support as a supervisor M-F 8 AM-5 PM. I have no babysitter so I take care of our 6 month old daughter while I work. I also waitress Saturdays from 4 PM-11 PM. I like a tidy house and try to keep it up but he doesn’t participate. When I talked to him about it at first, he started asking me if I needed anything before he went to bed. I was usually putting our daughter down for bed in her room, so I wasn’t always sure what needed to be done (dishes, wipe counters, trash, etc.) I made a nightly list on a whiteboard in the kitchen for him to check so he didn’t have to ask me. He follows it inconsistently but has gotten better.Weekends are a battle. I know he’s tired and wants to just relax on his days off. I do too. But while he sits on the couch watching tv, I am taking care of our daughter, doing laundry, cleaning, taking care of our dogs, making lists of things to do, groceries to buy, etc. There are things around the house I’ve asked him to do (clean the garage and basement, install or fix things, etc.) and he has yet to do them.I am now back in therapy because I feel like my expectations are too high, or I’m doing something wrong.",AITA for expecting my blue collar boyfriend to do more?,NAH
10uo7xh,"I drive a 2009 Ford Focus that I bought from my older sister seven or eight years ago after I got my license. I only paid a little over $1,000 for it at the time, but it needed extensive repairs and maintenance to pass inspection, things like a new brake system and gas tank. I used to have a spare key, but at some point it went missing and after literal years of searching I've just accepted that it's gone, a point that will be relevant in a minute.​So this morning I get a call from my dad informing me that my sister (previous owner of the car) needs to borrow my car for the week as hers is broken down, and since he assumed I wouldn't mind he told her she could take it. Well, I *do* mind. She is not a gentle driver, and I didn't feel like being without my car for an entire week, so I asked him to call her back and explain that she'd need to find another way to get to work. However, an hour later my sister comes into my bedroom and wakes me up demanding my car keys. I'm incredibly annoyed, but since she's already here and I work from home anyway, I just give her the keys.​A few minute later she's back, and tells me she needs my spare key. I ask why, and she tells me that **she broke my key off in the ignition**. I say that there is no spare, it's been gone for years, but she insists that I'm lying and wants to come into my bedroom to search for it. I refuse, this is my personal space and the key's not even here. She stands in my doorway berating me for being unreliable when she needs me, and after some time I get frustrated and tell her to ""Just go.""​A little while later, I come downstairs and my sister is still here. My car is idling in the driveway, and I ask her if she plans to pay for my new key. She gives me a look, and tells me that it's MY responsibility to have a spare, not hers, and she doesn't plan on paying for anything except gas. This leads to a huge argument and she leaves in my car. I don't know how she plans to turn it off, or restart it if she succeeds.​I ask my dad how he could let her do this, and he tells me that since the car is in his name, it's technically his in the first place so I have no say in this, despite me being the one to have bought it, fuel it, and maintain it. To provide context on a previous point, I live with my dad but not for free. I pay most of the utilities and we go halfway on groceries. Being a self employed artist during these times, money's very tight and I don't have room in my budget to replace the ignition if that's what's needed, which from the way she described things might be the case. She knows this, but just chalked it up to me being irresponsible with my money.​I've since cooled down and thought it over. While I'm definitely mad over this, she does need a car for her job as a teacher, and telling her no just because of the way she treated her old car years ago was probably unfair. And, she's right, it *is* my responsibility to have a spare key. So, tell me. AITA?",AITA for not having a spare key?,NTA
10tfn48,"Me (38) and my sister (32) were pregnant around the same time. Her baby was due a month after mine. Unfortunately, my sister and BIL were in a tragic accident a few months ago, and she lost the baby.My baby shower was last week. It was just at my house with a few friends and relatives. I did tell my sister I was having the baby shower and she's welcome to attend if she wishes, but I completely understand if she can't. She said thanks, and didn't end up coming.Afterwards I posted photos on social media. Only two, one with all my friends and one with me, my husband and 3 yo. I had the caption ""Growing our beautiful family"".My sister sent me a text about the photos and caption. I replied I'm sorry, but I told her before I was having the baby shower. She said having it is fine but got upset at me 'flaunting' it. Again, I said sorry she feels this way but I do want to share my news too.Mom saw my post, said I should be more understanding of my sister's situation.My husband thinks I'm fine, and it's literally just a photo.AITA?",AITA for posting pictures of my baby shower on social media?,YTA
10ukpo7,"So, I (17M) am the only friend in my friend group that isn't white (I am black). My friends make some racist jokes occasionally, but I don't mind it (usually just basketball-related jokes). I try to be a chill friend and not take the jokes too seriously. But then one day, one of my friends (17M) makes a joke about slaves, looks at me and laughs. My friends got mad at him, saying he took it too far. He says sorry and we move on.The next time we meet, he makes another racist joke (""What kind of car does he (me) have? - a stolen car""). My friends have the same reaction as last time and he says sorry, again. I get a bit annoyed as well but I act all chill. The racist guy starts making offensive jokes (targeted at me)more and more often (he laughs until his face turns red after making a joke). I just get more angrier and angrier everytime. One day, he takes it a step too far and starts making racist jokes about my family. That was the last straw. I decided to hit back. His dad left him when he was 3 (this was perfect to get back at him). I start making jokes about his dad a lot. The racist guy gets pissed, he says I'm not a good friend or person for making jokes like that. That was the last time we talked to each other.I think I shouldn't have made those jokes. I feel like I am at fault and should have told the racist guy to stop before it reached this stage. My friends disagree though. They said he deserved it.So, AITA?",AITA for making jokes about my friend's dad?,NTA
10uth1c,"Few months ago, me, my gf and my mom are on line for Rise of the Resistance.  We get through the part where you board the star destroyer and into the interrogation area where the staff member dressed up as an imperial officer separates you into parties/gives your seat assignments.In front of us is this plump, sixties something white guy with full set of hair, rosy cheeks, and his wife. My family has been calling him Augustus, or we can alternatively use Newt here.Anyway.  Worker lady gives out color assignments and then there are strips of that color on the floor and that’s where you go stand and wait.  So she gets to Augustus and says two on orange.  He doesn’t move.  She says orange again.  Then she goes “I can only say it so many times”.  Still nothing So I’m already annoyed because the ride had broken down and we were waiting two hours at that point so I yell and point to where he’s supposed to go, and then go “it’s not that hard, Jesus”.   That got him moving.The worker lady goes I am responsible for them, shut your mouth.  Then she whispers thank you.  If you’ve never been on rise of resistance, go.  The cast doesn’t break character for ANYTHING  Anyway, we ended up in the same cart as Augustus, and his wife gave me a dirty look and called me an asshole.  Then they couldn’t figure out how to buckle their seatbelts and messed up the ride timing.  AITA for yelling at Augustus?",AITA for yelling at Augustus on line,YTA
10uwxvv,"My brother's girlfriend has been fuming about my birthday party for an entire week, but I feel I did nothing wrong. January 30th was my 27th birthday, and on the 29th we decided to celebrate by going to an escape room with just my family, and of course my brother's (25m) girlfriend. (38f) I had been planning this for the entire month because as anyone who has ever been to one knows, escape rooms are EXPENSIVE, with a discount this one was $150, normally it would have been $300 and most of the time I live paycheck to paycheck. Because I started planning this a month in advance, I sent reminders to my brother several times leading up to booking the room because he can be a tinge forgetful and I really wanted to have all my siblings there if possible to make a good memory. All in all I probably asked if he and his gf could make it 4-5 times before purchasing the Groupon to get the room, and every time I told him it would be on the 29th and around noon. The only concern he voiced at the time was potentially not being able to get off of work, which I totally get, even with notice you can't control if your boss is a dick. They ask if i can do it for 6pm or later but there are no available time slots and the ticket is nonrefundable, so I book the only available room late in the afternoon. Well, about three days before the 29th, he and his gf start giving my mom all of these reasons why they can't make it, none of which seem legitimate, and I feel hurt, but understand. I already have the Groupon at this point and have booked the room, but it is up to 8 people, and almost everyone else can come, so I'm not worried about it. The day of, we pick up my brother because he is able to come after all and they only have one car, but his gf decided to work an estate sale that day so she cant make it. We went, had a good time, and then came home and did a super tiny party where I opened my birthday gifts and we ate cake, played board games, etc. all the normal family get together stuff. Halfway through the get together my brother gets a call, goes outside, and comes back in clearly irritated. We didn't pry, but at the time I assumed that it was because of gf, which I later learned was right. Well, we brushed it off and for the rest of the day we laughed, had fun, and at the end of the day we sent my brother home with a slice of cake for her and a slice of cake for her daughter.A few days ago I found out that my intuition was right, and that she was mad my brother came to the escape room and to celebrate my birthday with the family. She claims that she felt excluded, but I told my brother several times in advance hoping that they would both be able to make it. Now she is refusing to participate in any family functions and has been rude to my mother, whom she once got along with really well. AITA for celebrating my birthday as planned and picking up my brother so that he could make it even though his gf decided to work that day?",AITA birthday Edition,NTA
10umdrd,"Myself and a friend created a joint instagram account for reading and sharing our love of books back in the summer of 2021. We both used to post on it fairly regularly but then I got more busy with work and uni so started posting on it less. Also slowly drifted apart with said friend due to issues within the friendship group. I still used to post on the account occasionally but she definitely was using it more. The account was made under my email, and phone number. Anyway, I still check up on the account about every week, even though I haven’t posted on it recently. I have noticed changes going on to the bio and certain emojis being changed, but today I noticed the username has changed, to just her name instead of both our names. Upon noticing that she has cut me out of the username, I have changed the password. Even though the account was made using my details, due to it being a joint account in the beginning, am I the asshole for changing the password without telling her?",AITA for changing a joint instagram accounts password?,ESH
10uuwcl,"I (27f) have always been an anxious driver after a traumatic car accident. With time and therapy it’s gotten better to the point where I can actually drive, but I still struggle when my partner (25NB) is in the car. That’s because they’re also anxious when I drive and tend to scream or yell “LOOK OUT” but not tell me what I need to look out for (usually there’s nothing there) which freaks me out more. I’ve asked them to stop or at least tell me where to look, but they say that they can’t because it’s an automatic reaction. They say it’s because I’m not careful and don’t look where I need to be looking but they’re also critical of my driving if I drive too cautiously (like if I wait to change lanes until I’m sure I have enough space they nag at me about taking too long). At best they sit in the car obviously tense and anxious holding on for dear life, which just rubs off on me and freaks me out too. I don’t get anxious anymore when I’m driving by myself, it’s only when they’re in the car with me.I think that since me driving makes both me and them anxious they should be the one to do the driving when we go somewhere together. Me driving us is hurting my progress and our relationship. But whenever we’re going to go somewhere together they ask me to drive because they don’t want to do it. I’ve started refusing when they ask me and given them my reasoning, but they’re mad at me and think I’m being unreasonable and unfair for making them do all the driving when I could just get better at driving and fix the problem that way. They think I’m making them carry my weight in the relationship by not driving us anywhere.",AITA for making my partner do all the driving?,NTA
10uz9x7,"I (17F) am currently a senior in HS and I had recently gotten an honor roll award at my school for my last semester. I had a 3.6 gpa and I was pretty proud of it. Today, I'm relaxing in bed and looking over homework when my brother (20) comes in to say hi and he sees my honor roll certificate laying on my bed. At first he says congrats until he sees that my certificate says 3.5 gpa and above and then he starts saying stuff like ""what is this?"" ""A 3.5? Why would you get a 3.5 that's mid, you could've gotten a 4.0 instead"" and that just set me off. He keeps going and says that it's ""a disgrace to our heritage"" and I heard enough and told him to get out. I didn't want to hear it anymore. He keeps saying more shit but I tell him to get the fuck out and that I didn't want to hear it. Then he asks ME why I had an attitude and says that I was being rude. So I tell him that I felt insulted and angry that he just disrespected me and the hard work that I put in and that a 3.5 gpa isn't bad at all. He says a 3.5 isn't bad, but a 4.0 would've been better and by that point I just wanted him to leave. After that he quickly apologized for it and said he was making a joke but I took it too seriously. It didn't feel or sound like a joke to me so I told him that and asked him to leave again. He left me alone but he said something along the lines of that I over reacted and now I feel confused. Did I really take it too seriously? Was I the asshole to tell him to leave? I just felt so shitty. I did what I could and I put in effort and I showed up to school even when I didn't want to and there he was putting down everything just cause I was 0.4 points off. What's so wrong with a 3.5? I don't get it. And the first he says after greeting me is that what I got was mediocre and it just broke me a little.",AITA for telling my brother to get out of my room?,NTA
10ut9p7,"I (19 F) have a cousin G (17 F) and our common bff (18F) M. It was M's birthday a few days back and we were just hanging out, G and M suggested to do a prank call to a guy who has a crush on G (see my last post for details) but the guy had both of their numbers so they decided i should be the one to talk to him using my phone. At first i was reluctant but they said it will be fun so we called he didn't pick it up both of them then proceeded to call him for 7 or 8 time and he still didn't pick up. After like 20 min he called and i answered and told him that i from his school and that i like him(my friends suggested to say this)he hanged up on me. My friend M knows him personally and said if he texts or calls again just have a little chat and then block him.Later that day when i was alone he called me and i continued the prank after the call i informed both my friends and we laughed a bit and M said to just chat a bit and then say i got caught talking to a guy and my parents are upset and then block him. Later on he did text me bit used my real name and i figured he knew from the start that it was me so i tried to clear it up saying that it was just me and M and we were bored thats why we tried to prank you and i apologized to him. I didn't tell him about G as he might think she wanted to talk as but was shy abt it(she is ignoring him for weeks). When i told both my friends abt it they got mad at me saying how i should have picked up his call or answered his messages and how i messed up everything and that now M is embarrassed to even talk to him. I tried to tell them that he had my number and insta id and i just couldn't block him when he knew it was me without trying to clear it up that it was a prank(he said he thought it was an emergency as he knew it was me from the first call).We haven't been talked yesterday my G told me to text M bcz she is mad at me and she also told me M cleared it up with the guy and told him it was a prank. But i kinda feel hurt by all this and also feel like an a-hole. What should i do ? Should i text her and apologize?",AITA for trying clear up a messed up prank?,YTA
10trzyi,"I(23F) have been with my boyfriend “Mark”(24M) for nearly two years and we’re thinking in moving in together and currently in the process of discussing what that would look like for us. Now I’m a fairly messy person and I don’t need to have our place look like a model home, but Mark’s dog, “Rex”(2.5) is making me consider ending the relationship entirely unless something changes. It seems that every other time I go to Mark’s place Rex always either pees, poops, or pukes somewhere in the house. Mark also allows Rex to crawl around under the sheets, which I think is nasty considering poop often gets stuck in his fur. Last night Rex ended up pooping on the bed, then immediately crawling under the sheets, and leaving a huge shit streak all over everything while we were in it and I lost it. I told Mark that it’s nasty he continues to let this happen and he needs to be more on top of letting his dog out. He said it only happens because he “gets excited” and that he lets him out enough. I suggested using bells by the door and teaching Rex to tap them when he needs to go out but he insists those are unnecessary. By that point I had enough and gave Mark and ultimatum: I would not consider moving in with him until Rex is completely house trained or he finds a new home for him. Mark said I was being unreasonable and mean by making him choose between me and his dog. Was I out of line for this? Neither my mom or I think so. Info: The dog is 2.5 years and we’ve been long distance until about 3 months ago so I didn’t know about this until recently. Mark claims he takes Rex out enough but I can’t know how often as we don’t live together. Rex is NOT a bad dog otherwise. This is his only issue. TL;DR: I made my boyfriend choose between me or his dog that he lets pee, poop, and puke everywhere",AITA for telling my boyfriend I won’t move in with him unless he rehomes his dog?,NTA
10uqjhe,"My (21) boyfriend (22) of two years doesn’t like my friends. A year ago, two of them picked me and him up from the airport after break. My boyfriend’s mom had just passed away suddenly of cancer, and he had buzzed his head for her. It was a noticeable change in haircut, and my friends complimented it when they picked us up. He got upset and when we talked later he said that they had known his mom had cancer and should have thought about why he shaved his head before they said anything. He and I had posted about her illness, and one of them had donated to the family. He said that since they donated/presumably read the story about what was going on with her that they should have known and not made the comments. He never posted about his mom losing her hair or about him shaving it nor had I mentioned it to my friends. He has shaved his head before in a similar style, so it wasn’t unusual. Plus, not everyone with cancer loses their hair (my stepmom had stage four, went through intensive treatment, and kept her hair). I think he had unrealistic expectations for my friends to connect these dots. My friends knew that his mom had been diagnosed with cancer and passed away, but no details. Their words hurt him and I understand why— I never said that he shouldn’t have felt hurt. He thinks my friends were rude. I don’t think they were— they were being friendly and gave him a compliment. They had no idea that the haircut meant so much to him. My friends always say hi and are polite when they interact with him. They try to make small talk and start conversations. He tends to avoid eye contact even with the friends who he ‘likes’/haven’t done anything to annoy him and won’t speak to them unless they directly address him. He rarely says more than ‘hello’ and won’t greet them unless they greet him first. He is noticeably withdrawn and they (and I) find it rude. He told me it’s fine if I spend more time with my friends than him because they provide things for me that he can’t. IMO he missed the point— it’s not about time delegation, it’s that I want him and them to at least get along with each other, even if they aren’t best friends. My friends don’t like him much because he refuses to interact with them above the bare minimum, but they are friendly to him for me. They invite him to hang out and play games with them. I feel hurt that he won’t do the same. He says he doesn’t have the bandwidth. I understand that he is busy and has had a massively difficult year. I don’t feel that I’m asking a lot, and I feel like he is telling me that my happiness isn’t a big priority. I hate having to constantly choose whether to spend time with my friends or my boyfriend. I can never combine the two groups of people who I care most about, and I really wish he would make more of an effort. I told him this, but he feels that he is justified in disliking them. AITA for trying to make him spend more time with them/be more polite?",AITA for making my boyfriend be nicer to my friends?,NTA
10uea95," Warning English is not my first language so there could be mistakes. I (F18) got into an argument with my grandma and my aunt because I didn’t allow them to cut my hair. Today my aunt and cousin’s were here to visit me my parents and my grandma and to take my grandma back home because she doesn’t live in the country. She stayed like a month with us before she went home. I recently cut my hair really short and the reaction was positive from everyone besides my aunt. My grandma sent her a picture of my new look and as soon as she saw it she started texting me hair cuts she wants me to have and they are so totally not my style and she knows that. I already had a short haircut before and she said the same thing last time like “ oh you should do this or that with your hair I can even cut it for you, it would look a lot better than right now” to be honest I have very curly hair and it’s hard to really style it so I decided to cut it short. It’s a lot easier for me that way. My aunt herself has also short hair but hers is straight and she always has the same haircut. So my aunt sent me Fotos of hair styles for “black people hair”like Afros and like that I don’t know how to describe it another way no offence. The haircut would not work with my hair because it’s not the same hair structure. So she asked me if she could cut my hair that way and I didn’t want to be impolite after she asked me soo many times so I said yes even if I didn’t want to. When the time came for the cut I told her I don’t want her to do it anymore and my grandma got really upset about that, she said I couldn’t change my mind all the time and tried to make me feel like I was a bad person and I ruined her last day here with us. My aunt also got upset but said she didn’t really care and left the room. My grandma wouldn’t let the theme slide and still tried to manipulate me in getting it even after I told her why I didn’t want it and that I know that she is trying to manipulate me in to doing it. Then my father came into the room and I told him I don’t want to cut my hair, he said that it was ok and it’s my choice and left the room again. Skipping to when they left. I was in my room and my aunt and grandma came in to say goodbye just as they tried to leave my aunt made comments like I should stop being so stubborn and that I should change my character into being a nicer person and that I was selfish for not letting her cut my hair. I just slammed my door shut and didn’t say goodbye to her only to my grandma and cousin. I feel like I had the right to refuse but I also feel bad so am I the asshole?A little info I forgot to mention is that my aunt is not a hairdresser or anything like that she knows as much as I do about it and that’s not much. Also she already cut my hair once when I was like 5 years old and it looked terrible but she also was drunk when she did it.",AITA for not allowing my aunt to cut my hair,NTA
10uwiue,"This happened in high school, but one day a classmate brought in treats for the class. I was infuriated because there was another event going on at the same time to memorialize the dead. It was personal for me because I lost a friend a year prior and it felt really disrespectful to me. The classmate ended up crying but I apologized the nest day.Later at graduation I was class speaker and mentioned what happened at the end of my speech. AITA?Edit: They went to go get treats when the memorial was happening. It was only about a 20 minute memorial.",AITA for scolding my classmate's actions and bringing it up again at graduation?,YTA
10tddte,"This happened last weekend but I'm still having arguments over this with my friend so thought I'd come here to get some outside perspective and opinions. So last Saturday one of my coworkers and good friends was throwing a birthday party for her daughter and she invited me. I asked her what I should get her daughter and she said that I should get a karaoke machine. But a few days later when I was hanging out with my younger sister who is around the same age as my friends daughter I told her about that karaoke machine and she basically laughed at me and said that no one actually wants that and she said I should just message her on IG and ask her what she wants instead of getting something she's gonna hate or not use. So that's what I did. She ended up sending me some links to some clothes and bags she liked and said that I should just choose one. They were all fairly expensive ones so I just chose the cheapest bag on her list which was still over 300 Euros (320 dollars for the Americans). Saturday comes and I end up giving her the bag and my friend saw that I didn't get the gift she told me to and asked me about it. So I explained everything and she was very upset with me saying that I shouldn't have messaged her daughter and that I should have just gotten the karaoke machine. We had a small argument and even her daughter told her that she never wanted a karaoke machine but my friend still insisted I was a ""jerk"" for going behind her back. She didn't talk to me at all throughout the party and even now a week later she constantly brings it up. So was AITA?EDIT: a few people have misunderstood our relationship, we're not just coworkers. We've known each other for 7 years and we're good friends outside of work too.EDIT 2: I've already mentioned this in one of my comments but I still get this question so yes I'm a man",AITA for getting a 15yr old a gift she wanted instead of the one her mom wanted?,NTA
10un8xc,"I(38m) and my  (53f)girlfriend just had to get our car repaired and it came out to 1800$.  I have sent 500$ so far for a down payment and am working on getting more sent to her.  However her mom and son both owe me money so I asked her if they could help cover it.  She says I am an asshole for asking because her mom is poor and her son just started working and is helping out with bills.  So to add some backstory for clarity.  In November of 2019 my girlfriends son's cat had to be taken to the emergency vet because of crystals in it's urine, so the vet comes and says for the surgery and everything the bill will come out to 1200$ or we could pay around 200$ and have it put to sleep.  So after he (17m at the time) begs me and promises he will get a job and pay me back for the surgery I offer to put the money up front to save his cat.  The first week the cat is home he refuses to feed it the food from the vet because ""the cat doesn't like it"" and starts feeding it the original food.  About 2 months later the cat dies from urine crystals and he claims since the cat died he doesn't owe me any money and went almost 2 years without a job.  So fast forward to Christmas day 2020 and my girlfriends mom (MIL) tells us she got scammed out out of 5k$ in a car wrap scam from her internet boyfriend, so while dealing with that she borrows our car to go to Wendy's for my girlfriends son and ends up running a stop sign and Tbones another car.  The accident is ruled her fault and the car has over 8k$ worth of damage.  The good news is our car had full coverage insurance and a 1000$ deductible which I had  pay for.  The bad news is she refused to pay for the deductible or reduce the rent I was paying staying there.  I moved out in July 2022 and my girlfriend is in the process of moving down now, she drives the car between KY and PA about once a month going back and forth.  It's our only transportation, I pay for full coverage insurance on it and normal inspections / wear and tear etc.   So between the two I got stuck with over 2200$ in bills that they refused to help out.  Now that I am asking them to cover 1200$ between them, they say I am an ass because her mom is old and her son just started work back in August and I shouldn't be asking them because ""they can't pay it""",AITA for asking my girlfriends family to help with car repairs?,NTA
10uo2le,"We've never had a close relationship for as long as I can remember. See, I'm a product of an unplanned teenage pregnancy and so I never really saw my mother around because of her aspirations to graduate highschool and then go onto college (she's a very smart woman academically). I can understand that she never had the chance to live out her teenage years due to me being born. I can understand why she might act the way she acts towards me because of her own estranged relationship with her mother. I can also understand the way she acts because of her mental illnesses and trauma. But, it is still so damaging to me.Recently, we had gotten into a huge argument about how irresponsible I am, how immature I am, how much I degrade her, how I'm sloppy, ungrateful and lazy after I came home late at 12am one time from playing D&D with some close friends, even though I warned her I was going to be late due to my friend's mother coming home late to take all of us (my friends) home that night. She called me all those things and threatened to disconnect me from my social life and get rid of my freedom. I completely lost it towards her and started going off on her about how I'm trying the hardest that I am, how she's not being fair, and how manipulative and controlling she is. She's never here anymore, emotionally and physically. She's always going straight to the bar right when she goes home or going on dates with men at the last minute. It's getting to the point where I'm taking care of my 3 year old and 5 year old brothers whilst balancing the rest of my life -- including making dinner, bathing them, and more. In addition, I've dealt with her instability for years as she refuses to settle down. I have moved 14 different times-- in three different states and one different country, four different highschools too. I have given up everything multiple times just to please her. In the the past year, I have moved back from Italy to the states, a death for my grandfather, my other grandfather being diagnosed with prostate cancer and apparently having a secret love child who's only two years younger than me, my mother and ex-stepdad divorcing, being ripped apart from my girlfriend when I moved to the states, and dealing with my own severe depression and anxiety. I don't know what else to give. I'm tired.I've been in gifted programs all my academic career,  4.0 GPA all through, have almost 400k in college scholarships, never ever gotten in serious trouble, take care of my 3 and 5 year old brothers, cook dinner, active in three communities,  and clean the entire house. I don't under what I have left to offer so at this point I'm questioning whether I'm the bad person and should just suck it up. I'm confused because she only treats me like this but will treat every other young woman so differently. AITA for calling her toxic and wanting to get away from her",AITA for calling my mother controlling,NTA
10uq1j0,"I'm 20 years old I currently live in Florida. I have an old friend I met in 7th grade will call him RJ, while we are not particularly super close or anything I've known him for years, we never really hung out or anything but we are cool no issues which each other, sometimes used to play cod zombies on ps4, and we talk from time to time checking on each other. He's given me a few rides to places when I didn't have a car to get around. Anyway my friend a few months ago got a job offer in Seattle, I don't know exactly what he does but involves airplanes/jets and such and he's making like $5-6k a month. He has already moved to Seattle as he got the offer months ago and and it has been going well. Before he left and even still now every once and a while he will ask me to move there and be his roommate. I currently live with my parents, sister, and niece. I don't see the need for me to move away and pay a lot extra for rent and other expenses when I don't have any issue where I am and saving the extra money which allows me to put time/money into trying to start the businesses I want to grow. As well as I just dont want to deal with the hassle of moving my stuff from one coast to another, Its not like he needs me to be his roommate, he already has one. Before he even left he had an agreement with this other older guy who also got the same job and they would be rooming together, so it makes no sense to me as to why he would need me as a roommate as well. Especially when they only have a 2 bedroom. Why would I want to not have my own room or privacy.While he wasn't like starting a problem over it or making it a huge deal he was like mad about it for a little bit which I don't understand why so maybe this is the wrong thread just curious if me rejecting the offer makes me an asshole or not. You wouldn't want to have the living room either and move away when you're comfortable where you are right?",AITA My friend wants me to move to Seattle and be his roommate,NTA
10unyq3,"TW for faking disorders and severe mental health. TLDR: Friend copied identity and faked disability so hard our entire friendship group cut them off.Just to be clear there is no case of “you don’t know what they were going through” here. I’ve known this person since we were both young teenagers. We are now in our 20’s. I (m 23) met F in our early teams during a mental health crisis. F identified as a trans male and I was very supportive of them, they changed their name and identity a couple of times during our initial friendship period and I thought nothing of it. Sure, they’re young and figuring out their identity. During the time I initially spent with them we were both very mentally unwell, but I did notice some patterns in that whatever it was that I was struggling with they also suddenly also struggled with. And these weren’t trivial things, they were real diagnosed issues that required inpatient psychiatric care such as psychosis, severe insomnia and severe trauma. I lost contact with them during my late teens during an incredibly difficult period of my life which ultimately led me to be paralysed from the waist down in a failed attempt at taking my life. The past 4 years I have worked on myself. Hard. Attended intensive therapy, got fit and active adapting to my new life as a full time wheelchair user and have built a very solid support network around me of friends who also struggle with disability or mental health issues but are very self aware and a pleasure to be around. I’m very proud of the life that I have built for myself, I still struggle with my trauma but my adoptive parents and those around me are incredible, and I have been stable for a good few years, requiring no medication or admissions. I should also add that shortly after the “accident” I came out myself as transgender, and have been on hormones for the past 3 years, I live my life as a male and am indistinguishable to a cis man to those that don’t know me well. It was during this time, mid pandemic that F reentered my life. Identifying as their birth name and female. I had heard about them briefly throughout our years of not speaking, usually news that they had changed their identity again. F told me they were going through a rough patch and given my stability and own past struggles, I decided to introduce them to my friendship group, include them in all online social activities, helping them out financially and even finding them new living accommodation after they told me they were unhappy in theirs. Throughout this time there were no major incidents, apart from them constantly changing their entire personality to directly mirror my own except their gender and name changed almost on a weekly basis. I bought this up in therapy a couple of times noticing the inconsistency however felt empathetic towards them, it must be difficult having such an unstable sense of self right? The real issues started when the pandemic rules loosened and we all started hanging out in person. The first thing that raised huge red flags was that within a day of me introducing my friend with Tourette’s, F started ticcing. Weird little squeaks and head jerks that they claimed they had suffered with since childhood. It was overlooked until they met another friend who has a lot of difficulties with malnutrition and dizziness due to having deformities in their digestive tract. Over the next couple of weeks “F” was unable to eat. Claiming that they were suddenly having such severe gastro issues that their hair was falling out, they were passing out from low iron and suffering from malnutrition. This raised all of our eyebrows for two reasons. The timescale for such severe symptoms, and the fact that F is obese, regularly eats very well around us and was refusing to see a doctor.  Over the following months F became a sick melodramatic caricature of my entire friendship groups disabilities and personalities combined. Claiming Autism, Tourette’s, anemia, gastroparesis, heart conditions, chronic pain, neurological issues and a shopping list of severe mental health issues that didn’t add up. Schizophrenia, Bipolar, PTSD, paranoia, insomnia, anxiety, depression, agoraphobia… the list goes on. Anything any of us showed an interest in became an obsession of theirs. Mention a band and the next week they have their merchandise, video game? Posters all over their wall, someone dyed their hair? Them too. Except none of these severe disabilities impacted their life somehow. They held down their job, attended social gatherings, went out clubbing, and any time they joined one of our regular group calls we would be told how awfully they were suffering and then they would leave. By this time they’re well into the 20’s of pronoun and name changes. For those of us who are transgender this alone felt like a huge insult. Especially the rage attacks if they were misgendered. Even just suggesting that they shouldn’t be so rigid in identity until they had figured it out led to rage. Our approach to this behaviour was to not react, change our names for them without asking questions and every time they bought up a new health issue advising them to see a doctor or therapist. None of us feel the need to constantly talk about our disabilities, we have a great range of personalities and interests to talk about.This all came to a head when I was meeting a few of our friendship group for coffee. One of these friends (L) I had met in physiotherapist rehab, she has cerebral palsy and uses a cane to walk. F asks to tag along and I agree against best judgement. We were discussing university options of a friend when L had to leave, as she stood up she dropped her cane and whilst I steadied her so she didn’t fall L asked F if she could pick up her cane. Other than myself and F, the two others we were with were also either paralysed or severely disabled and wheelchair bound. L accidentally used a name F had changed a couple of weeks ago. F flew into a rage, claiming they would faint if they tried to pick up the cane, calling us transphobic and ableist and stating that if we couldn’t respect the fact that they were disabled in their own way we didn’t deserve them. Before walking out of the coffee shop. As we all froze in bewilderment and confusion a kind lady came and picked up L’s cane and we awkwardly decided to call it a day and go home. I reached out to F and their response was that they couldn’t control their behaviour as they were in some kind of episode. I spoke to my friend group the next day and they said they only tolerated F because I did, they made them all uncomfortable and the put their worries aside because they felt inspired by my compassion and tolerance. We collectively decided to cut contact with F and now only see vague aimed social media posts calling us toxic and abusive. L was so shaken by the behaviour they are now in therapy due to trust issues.AITA?",AITA For Kicking A Faker Out Of My Friendship Group?,NTA
10uscl3,"Back here again with another AITA. So, long story short, my nana doesn't have much longer with us on earth. My cousin who owns her house promised my nana that she wouldn't be unfair to my cousin who lives there. Well, now my cousin is kicking him out with, what he though, nowhere to go. But my mother and I have decided to go ahead and take him and my brother in for a short term solution. A week or two ago I had written this angry, manic infused letter to the cousin who owns the home and today I posted it. It pretty much outs my cousin for her broken promise, which my entire family takes promises seriously, and outs her for leaving an autistic child (my brother) and my cousin who grew up in the home, without water for almost 2 months and refusing to send anyone out there to help. My aunt Church took my nanas debit card (which was for rent, food for my nanas dog, food for the boys, utilities, etc) and my nanas car keys which got my cousin fired from his job since he couldn't make it to work on time from walking to it. I posted it because it wasn't fair to my cousin that he could have been completely homeless if it weren't for my mom and I. And I posted it because everyone would do it to us if it were us in this case. But now I'm being told I need to take it down because it will ruin my cousins reputation as an outstanding citizen of the city. And it'll ruin her name. It'll ruin this, ruin that. That nobody would really care where the boys ended up since we took care of it. I felt really good about posting it until now since being called an asshole and being told that nobody really cares. But idk.. maybe I'm just overthinking what I thought was right? I mean, they'd do it to us in a heart beat with no hesitation. It took me 2 weeks to post it..Edit because someone reminded me: my female cousin is kicking my male cousin out of the house because he cut his arm climbing under the house to fix the water pipes that she has been refusing to get fixed. It brought as she said, ""too much attention to the house"" because of the ambulanceEdit #2: my cousin didn't legally evict him. She didn't give him a 30 day notice (which you legally have to do where I am) and told him he needed to get out of the home before she has someone come and move him.",AITA: made a public post,NTA
10uyil1,"I very recently wrote another post which has a similar theme about using other people's things. I found it helpful to see other's opinions on things so I'm making another post.I bought a really shitty nail varnish that I used and wanted to take off so I asked to use my roommates nail varnish remover. I didn't take note of how much was originally there but when I returned it there was a good amount left. The next day I'm talking to a mutual friend who said apparently my roommate was very upset that I had used a lot of their nail varnish remover and had said some nasty stuff about me. I didn't really take an issue with this and was actually kinda pissed at myself for not being more careful with other people's thing so I bought them another one, although it didn't feel great that she was saying these things about me instead of speaking to me about it. When I gave it to her she asked me how I knew she was upset about it and I told her that I had spoken with said friend and she got angry saying we shouldn't have been talking behind her back. I swear nothing nasty was said about my roommate by either of us and we barely even talked about the issue for more than 15 seconds before talking about something else. I told her this but she said next time I should stay out of her business and what she talks about with her friends and left out of the room. I get where she's coming from, I essentially was gossiping with mutual friends about something that she clearly didn't want me to know about and I probably put her in an awkward situation when I showed up with a bottle of nail remover out of the blue but I didn't think it was that big of a deal. (Ironic considering my last post, I know)AITA",AITA for replacing my roommates nail varnish,NTA
10v22iw,"I am a dentist currently working 10 to 4 (unpaid internship of 3 months)I have been living at my aunt's for a month now. My parents house is 2 hours from the city where my job is at. So my father and uncle discussed and decided that it would be best for me to live at their house for 3 months instead of getting a new PG/ Rental apartment which will cost a lot for single person and the effort needed to move all furniture or other stuff might not be worth it.The decision to not pay for it or costs of various stuff was not discussed with me, it was between my father and uncle. I accepted it because it would be further rude to offer money after they have already told that it's fine.Now the main part is about chores which I feel guilty about which I am not helping out in. I still do try but there are limits1. Food My aunt usually cooks but I help out for dinner as I like cooking as well and sometimes cook as well. But can't help out in morning and aunt usually prepares tiffin for me and I am less of a concern as 2 of her kids (17 M and 14 F) live with us who are picky.2. Laundry/clothesWhen I leave in the morning my last days clothes which I left in basket are already washed and we don't have washing machine so hand washing is used, sometimes maid(2$/hour) comes to it, some times my aunt does it. I am not skilled for it. 3. CleaningAgain when I leave for work at 9 and return at 5 the house has already been cleaned and it never had been bought up. Maybe maid does it.The main thing which my aunt asked me to do 2 days ago and I refused upfront was ""Diva bati"" ( hindu prayer ritual), it usually takes 5 minutes, it is done twice a day in the house as a form of routine where you are supposed to light the candle and do the prayers/ritual.I have never directly told/discussed in house or with my parents/family that I am atheist. I am very confident that it will lead to a bad reaction as we are very orthodox.Before this there were times when some big ritual were held bi annually, my mother would me to sit for ritual even though I tried to make excuses so here at aunts house I wanted to draw the line from the beginning.But I still feel guilty since I am living for free and am very grateful to them.FYI + I ocassionally buy groceries, I do ask if they need help but nothing comes up from their end, also my uncle doesn't live with us so it's just me, aunt and 2 younger siblings/cousins who are in school.I also try help them study when I can.My aunt is a stay at home house wife but is trying to find work from home jobs and has a side thing going on as an  insurance agent.P.S for some who might recommend to be open about atheism, I brought this up once 5 years ago to my uncle casually when we were in car on highway infront of his friends and I got a 2 hours lecture about how great god is and how amazing our religion is. I don't want a repeat is all.TL.DR I live for free at my aunt's but refuse to do prayer ritual (routine twice a day) because I am atheist but they don't know I am atheist.",AITA for not helping out in a house I (25M) am living for free(food included) ?,NAH
10ujp7e,"Let me elaborate here. I'm 21 and my sister is 19 turning 20 this year. Me and my friend Jay have been planning to move out together and we've been saving up money. We got a rough date of when we wanna move which will be the end of March. My parents have been planning go move to another city at the Start April, which is mostly the reason why I'm moving. I want to stay in the city I live in and they've moved to too many cities in my life time and this is where I'm putting my foot down and staying. My sister how ever is usually babied by them and they're staying for her schooling. So my dad got recent news that my sister's college course actually ends on June 8th and they wanna have her stay an extra month after that so they can print her out business cards and help her get a job. Which she needs, she hasn't had a job in her life. She can barely talk to people, she has severe mental issues and sometimes will run away. My dad HAULKED out at this news, absolutely furious that he has to stay an extra couple of months for her. Absolutely awfully furious. Throwing things like a literal toddler. He's a pretty toxic man. So their solution? Force me to have my sister move out with me when A) she doesn't have a job nor experience B) doesn't have any kind of income C) she's going back to live with our parents once she's done schoolEven if they do pay for her rent, I have to feed her. And if me and her get a 2 bedroom apartment...she's out in a couple of months and I'm stuck in a 2 bedroom apartment i can't afford. And I can't rely on Jay to move out with me at that point, I've already been pushing the moving date farther and farther. He told his parents the end of March. And if we all get a 3 bedroom we're still in the same crappy situation once she moves back down with my parents.. And I refuse to put out ads for a roommate (sketch as hell). Their leaving a pile of S**t on my door step so they can escape to another city sooner. I also can't Take care of her, sometimes she just runs away for no reason at all and she won't talk to anyone. I'm pretty sure she's on the spectrum tbh. I know I sound harsh but I feel like my parents are trying to manipulate my life still and throwing me under the bus with this. So...AITA?",AITA for not wanting my sister to move out with me to help her finish school?,NTA
10v1y1u,"So, I (M18) had recently entered and left my first relationship (NB17). We dated for about two weeks before the relationship was cut off relatively suddenly, they had said they weren't ready for a relationship which while I was obviously upset by, I accepted the reasoning and was respectful about it. We were super close friends and stayed close friends despite the breakup. We had hung out a couple times after the breakup in which they were incredible close to me physically (not just in private). It had gotten to the point where our friends had to ask if we had gotten back together. After a hangout, I had asked them if they were still comfortable around me to make sure everything was ok, and they told me that I made them ""extremely comfortable.""Fast forward about half a month, us and our friend group had spent the day at our local mall. Note nothing bad had happened between us before the mall as we kept in regular contact (texting at least two hours a day). Throughout the day I was relatively close (no closer than I'd be with my other friends) to them mainly due to the fact they tend to get uncomfortable in group situations and they had established they were super comfortable with me. Also I tend to be physically close with my friends since we're all very close. Throughout the day I had asked them if they were comfortable and if they were ok, since they seemed to have some discomfort. I thought this was due to an access amount of caffeine that they had had earlier. They told me that ""everything's fine"" and that ""I'm good."" Near the end of the day I noticed they were being slightly distant from me in particular, so I backed off. I tend to struggle with social cues so I often need to ask if things are ok.The next day I had reached out to them asking if they were upset with me, they then lash out at me telling I harassed them and did ""everything in my power"" to make them uncomfortable and basically saying I'm a creep. I apologized for this immediately as the comfort of others is incredibly important to me, as well as explaining that I was trying to make sure they felt included. They insist my apology isn't enough and they don't want to see me ever again. Everyone I've talked to at the mall insists I wasn't doing anything particularly creepy. I do still feel very bad that I made them uncomfortable however I felt like they were very harsh towards me.After this I asked why they didn't tell me what was up when I asked them. The reason as to why they didn't communicate that I was making them uncomfortable with me is due to the fact they ""didn't want to make a scene"" and ""just don't like dealing with things in public."" I just feel like they're acting like its my fault I didn't know how they were feeling despite them very clearly establishing their comfort with me and not communicating any sort of discomfort when I had asked them. Everyone I've asked the situation about has sided with me however since they know me their opinions could easily be biased. AITA?","AITA for ""harassing"" my ex?",NTA
10v1vqv,"I’d 40F been in a 18-month relationship with my ex 39M. I have 1 child 12F to his 3 22F, 18M and 16M. Since his divorce, he decided he didn’t want anyone to ever rely on him again.We’d had 3/4 near misses with contraception but agreed we didn’t want kids. Although he’s undiagnosed, we’re both relatively certain he’s on the spectrum (but won’t be tested) which leads him to make literal but illogical decisions i.e.- He didn’t add people he was “seeing” to his social media (including me) but had no qualms adding female gym friends- Because I always cooked, he never reciprocated because he didn’t “enjoy” it. When I pointed out that I ended up doing everything so he needed to treat me, his rationale for not doing so was (a) he liked my food better than eating out and (b) if we’d done something, like gone on holiday- where I paid for myself - that was my treat so negated him needing to treat me- He planned a Spanish trip for 3 months of his sabbatical and didn’t plan for me to visit him because he’d be in a hostel and I’m a hotel/luxe personWhen I found out I was pregnant he just went into daily tirades about how his kids were enough, he didn’t want the baby, wanted me to abort and didn’t once ask what I wanted. He also told me he found me less attractive because I was pregnant and didn’t find pregnant women attractive (wk4 - no weight gain). At this point, I decided to keep the baby and end our relationship. I thought since he wanted our relationship to continue (and the fact that the baby was an inevitability) he’d face reality. Nope. He spent any time we communicated during the pregnancy repeating he didn’t want the child, at which point I cut him off and told him I’d want nothing from him.With the baby now due, I told him in an emergency delivery situation and only as a backup, I’d probably reach out for some assistance to which he agreed. He then asked for a delivery update because he “cares” about me the baby and my daughter. He didn’t understand why I thought this was laughable at best and antagonistic at worst. I pointed out, since he’d not demonstrated he cared at all the past 8 months, he didn’t deserve any updates. At that point I felt I’d made a mistake reaching out to him as a backup since he appeared to be giving himself credit for “caring” despite doing less than the minimum in terms of being a decent human being. I then decided that despite saying I wanted nothing and not putting him on the birth certificate I’d seek child support. Mostly because I think he has no idea how far short of any tangible demonstration of care he’s actually giving, but also because I could do with the assistance and it’s the minimum legal requirement. NGL I was p!$$€d he appeared to have no concept of the fact that saying you care doesn’t absolve you of responsibility or 8 months of not having demonstrated that.",WIBTA if I seek child support from the father of my child after I agreed not to,NTA
10uvkqu,"I moved into a 3 bedroom apartment with a couple and a third woman. I thought it was a good setup, because the location is great. The roommates had jobs that would keep them out of the house for days at a time is how they sold me on it, (flight attendants) and I work remotely from home full time. They greatly overestimated how much they would be in the house and are constantly blasting music or their TV while I’m working. They can’t just close doors and no slam them even after trying to have a conversation about it. I work that 9-5 m-f while they work an average of 90 hours a month as flight attendants. They fly people into town with buddy passes to crash on the couch or with them for literally a week straight. The first conflict I had with them was me asking for them to clean my air fryer after use. They said they don’t ever clean their air fryer (the reason I eventually just bought my own.) They are big into the dj scene and brought friends over after at 3am and blasted music and sang until they passed out everywhere until 4am. Anyways the point of the complaints is I just decided these roommates are not people I would like to include in my life honestly. I just say hey to them when I see them in the kitchen or something but I don’t hang out with them or really say anything more than you’d say to someone on the street. I clean up after myself and tiptoe around since they wake up 2 hours later than me. I just do my best to not be in their way but I just don’t want hang out with them. Like is there a point in being so considerate to them to never please them anyways?",AITA for not hanging out with my roommates?,NTA
10v1v5h,"English is not my native language, please forgive grammar issues.I, (31F) have a daughter. (11F) She had played in a chess tournament last Saturday and won first place.Earlier yesterday afternoon, my Daughter received a message from one her chess coachs telling her she'll compete in another tournament. The catch is, this tournament contains children who have private tutors and all that, while my Daughter doesn't.(We aren't rich, but we only have a small budget outside of the monthly expenses.)The way my Daughter learns is from videos on YouTube. And her Father (We are divorced.) Gives her tips here and there. So, since these children have a much higher chance then her, my Daughter has been practicing a lot, which of course, means she uses her phone a lot.Since she already uses her phone a lot, I told her that she could not use her phone too study chess, and will have to do that on the time scheduled that she can use her phone and not outside it. She got mad and told me that it was for chess. She also said taht if she didn't win, she would atleast like too have 2nd or 3rd place.I told her no, and she got mad and has been giving me the cold shoulder all day. She must have told her Father, who is now berating me through the phone. In my opinion, he's biased as he was also a competitive chess player, and I also don't understand why she can just take out her chess board and study as opposed too using the Internet.So, am I the asshole?ETA: My ex husband (Daughter's Father) lives States away.ETA:My daughter's eyesight is already awful do to her accesive use of devices.",AITA for not letting my Daughter study chess with her phone?,YTA
10urpsj,"So lately I've been getting frustrated with a friend who I've known for a long time. We text and message each other almost every day, but whenever it comes to making plans, he never wants to do anything and acts like I'm making some kind of unreasonable imposition. For example, I'll ask, ""Hey, do you want to go to xyz tonight?"" and he'll complain that it's too far, or he's too tired (this is the most frequent reason). He also says he has no money, even though he has a six-figure job that he constantly brags about to me even though I'm currently unemployed; last month he said he didn't want to go out anywhere at all to save money. But the thing is, he joined this activity a little while ago and now is telling me that they're his ""primary social group,"" and he goes to their events multiple times per week. It seems like he has all the time, energy, and money and the world for this hobby but none for me when I try and make plans like once a month.What bothers me too is that whenever I try and make plans, he doesn't definitively say no, but kind of strings me along and leaves me hanging before cancelling the day of. For example, I'll ask if he wants to go out somewhere and I'll get, ""maybe,"" or  ""probably."" He'll suggest a place, says it sounds good, but doesn't give a time, then a few hours or so before he cancels because he's too tired. So this weekend, I asked him and another friend (who is also flaky and does the same thing) if they wanted to do something. He said, ""what do you mean by doing something,"" and said that he was too tired from his hobby to go anywhere but was down to hang out at someone's apartment. I say why don't you guys come over to my apartment, I can cook dinner and we can chill out. He reads it but doesn't respond. The next day, as I'm about to go to the grocery store, I ask if he's coming. He says no, he's too tired and tries to change the subject. So I said, ""OK. I would've appreciated if you had just told me no yesterday instead of making it sound like you were coming."" He did not respond to this and I have not messaged him since. I'm going to give him the cold shoulder until he comes to me with a response.Was I in the wrong for saying that to him in this situation? I should say that we actually are good friends, and that I don't actually think this is a situation where he is trying to get rid of me. I'm just really fed up with this pattern of disrespecting my time and by acting like plans with me are a burden on him.",AITA for giving my friend the silent treatment over this?,NTA
10uy20u,"I (19F) live with my sister (24F) and my dad. Every year for my mom’s birthday we go to her gravestone and celebrate her by doing her favorite things. My sister always is a control freak about everything and when i try to help she either tells me to forget it or just neglects it and doesn’t use it. I usually get really mad but always control myself because i dont want to start a scene with my sister. My final blow was when she asked me to pick a music playlist, but like always, judged it and disregarded it. I got sick and told my dad that i was not going to the cemetery. He tried to convince me to reconsider but eventually caved in and told me i could stay home. My sister on the other hand blows up at me and calls me a selfish, inconsiderate brat. I told her shes a control freak and she was making the whole celeberation about herself and she should know that there are other people mourning our mom too. I left the house and sat in my car crying. I feel really guilty that i did not celebrate my mom with my family but i am mad at my sister for judging me and acting like i never cared for my mother. So, AITA for skipping my mom’s birthday?",AITA for skipping my late mom’s birthday?,NTA
10uxx9f,"this should probably be would we be the asshole but anyways:i (f) am currently in high school, and our school trip is coming up in a few weeks. the room assignments arent set in stone, but here is the most likely scenario: me, n (f), a (f), and L (nb, he/they) will all be sharing a room. the issue lies with L’s girlfriend k(f). she is a year older which doesnt bother anyone (small school limited options) but is necessary for context. she is very possessive of L, very obnoxious, is the kind of person that makes their mental illnesses their entire personality, and talks in a very vulgar way about sx and drgs when the current conversation is completely different from that. needless to say, none of us like her and it is very clear that she is a bad influence on L (convincing him to steal his parents liquor, leaving hickeys to the point where he looked like he had chicken pox or hives or smth, etc)k and L are attached at the hip (not the problem just a bit more background. i do not want to sound jealous as that is not true) like you will never see one without the other, and they are very heavy on the pda to the point where its inappropriate. full on thigh grabbing and ear nibbling in the middle of class. a few teachers have reported it to the dean and they got a talking to but it did not really stop. they are also like this any time they see each other and throughout the entire lunch block. it makes everyone uncomfortable but we all ignore it. the problem is that we would like to establish a boundary with L that he cannot bring k to hang out in our room. if we are all there then k will be making us incredibly uncomfortable with her “interesting” conversation choices and intense pda and if we are not there then they will surely be using one of the beds to you know. (and its two to a bed so someone besides L would have to sleep there) we dont want to offend him or make him think we dislike k (even though we do) but at the same time it would really suck to have them all over each other in our shared living space. tldr: would we be the assholes for banning our friend from letting his gf (who makes us rly uncomfortable) hang out in our room during the school trip?edited for clarity",WIBTA for asking my roommate not to bring his gf to our room?,NTA
10tts53,"I’m 19(M) and I went out for dinner with my girlfriend (18F), her best friend (22F) and one of her friends (19M). Prior to this evening, me and my gf’s best friend never really got on but always kept it mostly civil. The evening seemed fine and everyone was enjoying themselves, we had pizza and different wines and ciders. We all finished our food and we all finished our drinks except the best friend who had about a quarter of her wine glass left. It was already established we were not going to order any more, so I took it upon myself to order the bill from the waitress. The best friend then says she needs to go the toilet and my girlfriend goes with her. When they both come back, the best friend confronts me saying she thought that what I did was extremely rude, I responded saying that as w were not going to order more, I’d have liked to pay, and we simply could stay sitting and chatting (apparently something that she is not accustomed to). She denies any of my reasoning and goes on to say I can’t read social cues and went so far as to call me autistic. Despite this, I simply said sorry if she found what I did rude but also said that her bringing it up is what ruined the night and not me. She now refuses to apologise for both ruining the night and making a very crude comment and demands that I should be the one to apologise to which I have said I will not.AITA?",AITA for ordering the bill when somebody was not finished?,NTA
10ugnv9,"I (27F) live in Honolulu, HI. My friends & I spent the evening around the Ward Avenue area. We parked at Dave & Buster’s while there was still literally over 100 available stalls in just that one parking level. We started the night at D&B for food & drinks, then went a across the street to a rage room that also offered a paint splatter room; we were COVERED in paint. By the end of the night, the parking lot was almost full & a lot of cars were waiting for parking & I had a really, really good stall by the walkway. My friends & I were taking care to cover my car seats w/ a blanket, jackets, towels or whatever we can find so the paint didn’t get on the seats. Well, there was a car waiting for the parking & he essentially blocked the entire way waiting for my stall. The lane is a one way, so a lot of the other cars had to try to maneuver around him. His passengers were impatient, got out, & cursed us out for taking too long. I told them: “We’re covered in paint & trying to cover my car seats. Can you wait?” Instead of helping, they flipped the finger & walked away. Well after we got in & my car was on, my phone had failed to connect w/ my car for CarPlay, so that took some time to sort too. After I finally came out of the stall & passed by the walkway, they cursed me out again & I saw there was half a row of empty stalls in the next row over. My friends said the guys could have been more patient since they wanted the stall, but this is kind of weighing on my mind. So, AITA?",AITA for taking a long time to get out of a hood stall?,NTA
10v1n9v,"So here's the story, back in high school there was this girl I had huge crush on since 6th grade whom I'll refer as ""Emily"". She was one of the most popular students in our batch  as well all boys like her. But there was this guy I knew who happens to be her classmate and guy best friend whom I will refer as ""Rhys"" (PS. he'll be important) . She and I started chatting a lot, then I was told by a friend of mine that a guy named Rhys is super close with Emily, Rhys and I tend to share some clubs together therefore we see each other like a lot and nice to everyone and even me. One time I talk to him where I jokingly ask him if he likes Emily since everyone tease them, he laughed and said ""no"" I shouldn't be worried, but Emily was dating someone else from another section. But then things got a little suspicious when they were seen together a lot, not to be stalker but it was weird considering she was dating someone else. It was only a matter of time on valentine's day the two of them seemingly close intimately. I was shocked at first maybe a little heartbroken and jealous I must admit, I know she and I weren't really a thing we just talk online but it still hurt seeing them. Confused, I asked Rhys again if their together (at this point I don't know what to believe). Once again he said NO cuz he knows I like her, so I asked my friend eventually that the she and the previous guy broke up for almost a year, realized Rhys may have lied to me the whole time. I don't know why but I felt obligated to be angry not they're together or jealousy, but its the fact he lied to me and got my hopes up for nothing. I felt betrayed he was so nice to me and I trusted him. So the next day I completely ignored him the entire day, until he talked to me after giving him the ""cold shoulder"". I had enough and confronted him about it and told him he didn't need to lie to me cuz I would've understand and be cool with it but he didn't give me chance, I left and called him a traitor. Everyone saw and heard us (of course they did). It wasn't long enough when I heard stories about us, where I the 3rd wheel droving the 2 lovers apart. Apparently I became the bad guy who's bitter at the two of them. Years go by rumors got worse when I was called the villain of their love story who's trying to steal the girl, but I wasn't trying to steal someone from anyone at all or ruin couples that's not me. I was only trying to know the truth, was it a bad thing?. Even I wasn't doing anything to them anymore I get judged and laughed at, labeled ""the villain"" while they're the ""perfect couple"". Long story short by the next school year I decided to leave them alone and focus on myself, then I heard the news (get this) Emily and Rhys BROKE UP, apparently she transfer another school and heard they been hot and cold for months about it. I felt relieved and joy after the rumor fiasco of how ""I WAS RUINING THEIR LIVES"" not, but part of me feels guilty it didn't worked out for them. SO AITA?",AITA for getting mad at someone over high school crush?,YTA
10uoqqr,"So this may, I am supposed to be graduating with a double degree and my parents (along with my entire family) are pressuring me to walk. Now, I am the type of person that doesn't really like all of that. Personally, I would rather stay home and rest because Graduation is the day after my last final. I wanted to recoup before I started my residency the week after. I get that it's just a few hours of my time but I have said repeatedly over the last few years that I wasn't going to walk.My parents have not paid for my tuition at all. I have student load that I took out to do what I wanted to do. They even tried discouraging me from pursuing the field I'm currently in saying I wouldn't be able to handle it. To be fair, I did what they wanted for the first 2 semesters and switched to a major I found myself actually enjoying. They deny ever trying to talk me out of my field and instead proceed to tell anyone that will ask about me and my career. But even when I have assignments to do, they have no actual regard for it. I'm the only child so I get that they need help around the house and I make myself as available to them as I can. I have no personal life because of all this. Between school, assignments, hours at the hospital, and my entire family (I include my aunts, uncles, and cousins in that group) I barely have time to myself. I haven't even had time for a relationship since 2015. And I have no one I can complain to or vent to when I feel like I'm cracking because it turns into a whole ""well you dont have to do it anymore."" But as someone who was raised with family guilt, it's hard for me to do that.Back to the not wanting to walk aspect... This is the first time in literally FOREVER that I made a decision for myself based solely on what I want. Everyone is making it out to seem like I'm a disappointment for not doing it, that it's every parents wish and maybe it is but I'm not a parent. I am someone who for the last 15+ years have been doing everything for everyone. I started cooking for my parents when I was 14/15 and cleaning the whole house on a weekly basis since I was 16. The decision to not walk on graduation is a decision I made for myself completely and now my parents are making me feel like shit for finally doing something for myself. I don't treat myself to much. The last time I went out at all was early 2016. The last movie I saw in theaters without my family (younger cousins) was either Marley and me or the 6th HP movie. I've always been guilted into family vacations (purely to be with/take care of my younger cousins) but have never been on vacation by myself and I never asked for one either. I take everyone and their feelings into consideration before anything. This is the first time I've chosen to put myself first and I've been made to feel like shit.",AITA for not wanting to walk at my graduation?,NTA
10v1ldj,"A good friend of mine (M/21) has been together with his girlfriend (F/20) for 4 years and moved in together 2 years ago. Since then she has cheated on him 2 times, and then always went to him and has ""shown remorse"", and he has forgiven her every time. I have long thought with a friend whether we should talk to him about this relationship, which we have done. Now he is upset because we told him our concerns. AITA?","AITA: I (M/20) talked to my Friend (M/21) about his Toxic GF, now he is mad at me, AITA?",NTA
10uopnk,"This is a throwaway, just because my sibs follow me on Reddit. Every Sunday me and a some family get together at my parents house for dinner. I got Covid in late 2020 and developed acute smell distortion where most foods, esp veggies, taste and smell rotten. I’m a vegetarian with mostly a vegan diet so it’s a lot. For 20 years my conservative parents always made my vegetarianism an issue and they make anything Covid related a political issue. Though they believe me and they can clearly tell I’ve changed (hair loss, terrible brain fog), but they have a low tolerance for how pervasive it’s been in my life. Our family are pretty excellent cooks and we love to make food for each other, but I can’t partake in this like I used to. I never expect my parents to change what they are cooking to fit my diet, but I will often call ahead of time to see what’s for dinner so I can bring my own food or eat before I go. But after i got parosmia, there were times I’d have to leave the house because someone was cooking with an “unsafe” food. It gets so bad that biting in to the wrong thing would send me straight to the bathroom to throw up. The smell alone is other worldly. So I started to go to their house less and less, and when I did, I would have a strong reaction to the smell so I would have to go into another room alone. This started to get on their nerves. I would try to describe to them how horrific it smelled to me, but I can tell they’re over it so I started to stay home more and more and decline the invite if I couldn’t eat the food. I got excited today because my sister was making a meal that I could eat, but then she told me that she was putting peppers in it. I used to grow and eat peppers but now I can’t even be in the same room if someone cooks with it. She offered to make something else or take it out, but I know they are irritated that they would have to change plans so I’m staying home. My mom complains that I’ve become so picky, but I have to remind her that she would have a difficult time too if all she smelled was diarrhea and musty rotting flesh covered in gasoline. I can’t eat my favorite foods anymore. I ask what they are making for dinner to be prepared, so when I get there and she’s left out the fact that she has cooked with foods I can’t eat and I have a visceral reaction to it, she gets irritated and says she “can’t win with me” (subtext being my veggie diet). I can’t help I have parosmia. I don’t at all expect them to change what they cook, but after two years of this, it does make me sad that they don’t really consider me unless it’s my sister (also a vegetarian) is cooking or it’s my turn to cook. Am I the asshole?EDIT to add: I have seen doctors and they have more or less told me it’s likely permanent after a year and several therapies failed.",AITA for not attending family dinners because of my diet restrictions?,NTA
10upnqc,"I (20F) have been with my fiancé (20M) for three years, his family don’t particularly like me, namely his dad. I’m not really sure why, I’ve tried my best to get them to like me, but it’s just never happened.My fiancé (I’ll call him Jack) proposed to me, with the promise we wouldn’t get married until we graduated university. We both agreed on this, mainly because we just can’t afford to get married.As we get closer to graduating, I’ve started looking into our wedding, mainly because it’s fun to plan. We both think it would be fun to get married in Vegas by an Elvis, as we’re huge Fallout: New Vegas fans and have always wanted to go to Vegas.This didn’t sit right with his family. A lot of them are disabled, including his mother (62) and can’t really go abroad. His dad (55) said he didn’t want me and Jack having a “tramp wedding” and refused to agree to the plan. I responded with the fact that it was our wedding and we could do whatever we wanted. Jack backed me up, saying basically the same things, in more colourful language.We went home after this, and I started to look into getting married in Vegas, then having a non legally binding ceremony in the UK after we came back. I ran this idea past Jack and he was enthusiastic, but when he asked what his brother (42) thought, he was horrified.His brother said we were essentially lying to his family and that it was cruel to force their whole family together when the ceremony meant nothing. I assumed everyone would be just happy to celebrate our love, and it didn’t really matter about them because, well, it’s our love and our lives. His phone is blowing up with messages from his family calling him selfish, and some nasty comments about me and “the bad path” i’ve taken him down.AITA?",AITA for planning a fake wedding?,NTA
10v1eiy,Okay guys longggg backstory i( m18) went on a school trip with a group of people. One of which was my ex from two years ago. I didn’t not know she was going until we were already on the bus and informed my girlfriend thereafter. My ex tried to start an argument with me and I didn’t entertain it and walked away. We were all in a group at an ice cream parlor and she proceeded to bash me and go into her not believing that she’s the problem. I ignored it. Her saying that made me realize things about my own self due to me not wanting to not be able to hold myself accountable and I told my girlfriend everything that happened and talked about how I never want to not be able to hold myself accountable in this relationship and she got upset. I asked if she was upset that me and my ex got into an argument but she’s upset that I didn’t walk away and that it took that argument to realize more things about accountability. I understand why she’s upset and I’m in the process of apologizing and I’m hoping I don’t lose my girlfriend over this.,AITA for staying in an argument,NAH
10tsspl," Our daughter is turning 16 in about a month. I have been saving for a while and have about 12,500 to buy her a car. So not a great car but enough of a car that it will get her where she needs to go and not be in the shop every other month. This is basically everything she needs but maybe not all the wants. My hope is this will last her through college.I was talking to my ex about this, and she was on board. She wanted to throw about 5k into the pot to get a better car. She said it's what she can afford. I think this stretches her budget and is all she can afford. I refused for a couple of reasons. The first being I want this to be my gift that I can control with daughter and don't wish to have a co-parent decision tree on this car.The other reason is I don't want her to think this is a her family car. She has 3 other kids to worry about that I do not mine. She 2 step kids and 1 with her new husband, the daughter in question is my only one. The step kids are twins and will be 16 fairly soon. I will never let one of the twins drive my car. I don't want my daughter to have to share the car. I also don't want my ex thinking she can chauffer her other kid around.My ex is now pissed at me. So AITA for refusing money on behalf of my daughter?",AITA for refusing money from my ex on my daughters behalf?,NTA
10upb26,"I have a good friend i stay with when I visit my home town (we’ll call her Tina). I actually still pay rent for that apartment that we applied for together before I transferred to a different city. I currently live across the country, in NY, in a relative’s house, and Tina now lives in our shared apartment alone. She’s very sweet and caring, but, she’s very emotionally needy (can’t be alone long, needs reassurance a lot) and is very anxious (over thinks about everything so minor issues become huge deals), and, most annoyingly, seems to conform to everyone else’s opinions all the time. And, when I lived with her, I confessed to her that I struggled with an ED and was having a hard time recently with a relapse. She said she understood, and she had one too. That surprised me, because I never noticed that but, from that point on she would not eat and always talk about how she didn’t want to eat, and would buy the same groceries as me. She would say she wasn’t hungry and only buy diet foods. Naturally, this was extremely triggering to me, so I asked her if we could mutually protect each other by not doing diet-related behaviors or taking about not eating ext. she said she understood… but didn’t change her behavior at all…Well, flash forward to current day- even though I live in NY, she texts me every few weeks to tell me about a new horrendous illness she has. I don’t know why she texts me, since, there’s nothing I can do, and she asks me questions google knows better and me (creative) and her (nurse) should know better than me. (Example: should i be worried if I im so sick I can’t eat and I keep throwing up for like a week?)Most recently “sorry I haven’t texted recently, i had a black stool and was in the er because i was scared it was serious.. I haven’t eaten since”I can’t deal with this anymore! AMTA for thinking she’s inauthentic? Are my triggers my problem and I’m projecting? AITA if i ask her to stop messaging me about these things?",AITA if I don’t respond to friend’s constant cries for pity?,NTA
10ufnji,"My siblings are over 20 years older than me. I used to draw and paint a lot as a child, I was creating realistic art since I was 5 and I won several prizes. Each time they came home, they would request a big drawing / painting, that I was working on, or that recently had won a prize. I always caved in, as I thought what I did had no value (my father destroyed some of my art or threw it away). In my teens, due to my situation at home, a physician tried to take my custody from my parents. My siblings decided that they would take care of me, so they wouldn’t have to do it. Long story short, I was back at my parents shortly after that, and I never saw that physician that cared about me. I finally moved out at 16 with a man who was 32. My family never contacted me. Due to depression and ptsd I stopped drawing. No one ever cared about how I was doing.Now as an adult I want those drawings back. I have none of my childhood drawings,they have all of them. I still create art, they have never acquired anything or helped me in any way. They are both affluent and have a lot of expensive art.None of them want to return me the drawings. They have even told me that if I valued them more than the relationship, that getting them back would mean a ‘good bye’.Am I the asshole for asking them back? I was a child under pressure when I gave them to them. They have never given me bday or Christmas presents, not even as a child,",AITA for asking my siblings to give back my childhood drawings.,NTA
10uqels,"As young couple’s tend to be, we’re extremely broke. I’m trying to make ends meet by selling old stuff. One of these things is a decent quality pair of binoculars. There’s really no reason for her wanting these, they’re just taking up space. So would I be the asshole for telling her no?",AITA for wanting to sell my pair of binoculars my gf wants,INFO
10ukpup,"So I have Two friends that I have gotten close with. One friend (Kelly 27f)was single when we met and extremely desperate in a sense to get married and start a family. She talked about it non stop. She met a guy(bf 32m) April 22 on a dating app and by June they were wanting to get married. He still lived with his parents and was refusing to hang with any of her friends. He dissapeared for a week and gambled $2k away. His parents had an intervention and wanted friend to be there. Centered the intervention around her. He is codependent on his family. Has to eat with them multiple times a week. Has to see both parents (divorced) daily. Tried moving in with Kelly in Aug22 and tried pressuring her into sex (she's a born again virgin and made it clear she wasn't doing it until they got married). Anyways he torments her in November about proposing and makes things miserable. He proposes and a month later they go on a trip together and while on the trip our other friend Olivia gets a text from him. I was texting her about something different and she said ""he texted you too?"" And then she told me he texted her wanting Addy and to keep it a secret. Obviously Olviia is going to tell Kelly. The next day he texts her back and says nvm it's for a friend. Kelly texts me hysterical and says he made the weekend terrible. I thought it wS about bf and I ask about it and she was like no my brother what do you mean bf ? I then come clean and she gets mad saying I have no business assuming stuff he was helping out a friend and I'm like Kelly please don't believe that he is lying. She then starts a group chat with me and Olivia asking us not to talk about bf to each other which we agreed to but at this point I am seriously worried about her. I tell her I see red flags and I'm worried and she gets mad and doesn't speak to me for a week. Now she wants me being in the wedding and I'll be there for her but I feel bad for even saying anything in the first place. Was I TA ?",AITA for expressing my feelings about my friends fiance?,NTA
10tl1zz,"My fiancee and I are having a small intimate wedding at an exclusive location. The package we bought, which is pretty expensive but perfect for us, includes the bride & groom, maid of honor, best man and ten guests. There is a hard limit on ten guests. To have more than ten we must upgrade to the next tier of the package, which is insanely expensive and not what we want, or pay a fee, which is almost a third of what it would cost to upgrade anyway.Outside of the maid of honor and best man, our ten guests are: wife to be's parents and sister, two very close friends of ours, my dad, my three siblings and my uncle. My uncle isn't even bringing his wife. We don't have another slot for her, and while we get along great, they weren't married while I was growing up, so she's not someone it's important to me is present at my wedding and she totally gets it and is fine with it. My brother has been dating his boyfriend for two years, and they might even get engaged soon. My brother wants to bring him to the wedding, but there isn't a spot.We've been arguing about this for a while now. He says we should either not invite our two close friends (not an option, they are family to us) or my fiancee's sister because they have a contentious relationship anyway. Yeah, they have a weird relationship, but it's her *sister* and I can't uninvite *her* sister. Also, no one else is really going to have a ""date"" either. No one will be there with their spouses or partners (fiancee's parents are divorced). He would be the only one.His argument is that his boyfriend is part of our family, which I agree with, but so is our uncle's wife. She isn't coming either and gets it. He says it's different for them because not inviting his boyfriend feels like a rejection of him and their relationship and identity. I'm sorry it feels that way, but it is what it is? Even my dad asked if we *have* to invite both close friends. Am I really the asshole of I don't uninvite someone who means a lot to me in favor of my brother's boyfriend?",AITA for not inviting my brother's boyfriend to my wedding?,NTA
10v4797,Background-me (23f) and my best friend (26f) are best friends ever since I was born. You can see my previous post on how me and my best friend got into fights because she want me to break up with my boyfriend because she felt like she was being replaced and that he is no good.I messaged her after her not speaking to her for a whole week. Decided to let her know how I feel.I told her she made me feel like I had no choice and I felt worthless. That it felt like she is emotionally blackmailing me to break up with my boyfriend.She told me she was looking out for me and not to blame my mindset on her. She told me that I blame everything on everyone. She told me that she didn’t force me to do anything.She is sick and said even tho she is weak she is trying to be there for me. She said all this fighting is because of my bf (26m) and not anything else.I told her that it always feels like if I say anything that she doesn’t like or do something then we will fight. She has been pushing me away and giving me silent treatment if I do something she doesn’t like. I told her this. She told me she didn’t force me too. She said she’s loves me and wants the best. She still can’t see where I’m coming from. I then told her she is toxic and drains me now she is not messaging.Aita?,AITA- for saying my bsf is toxic,NTA
10um9gf,"I have a good work-friend (and outside of work friend as well) who is getting married this fall. We both work in an elementary school. I got a random message from some of her not-work-friends (have never met them) that they are planning on throwing her a major bachelorette weekend a 2hr drive away from here on the weekend before the first day of school. For those not in the education world... I feel like it is kind of like asking an accountant to hang out on April 14th. They said they cannot move it because they've already booked it and there are no other options. This friend and I usually literally \*go into work\* to prep that weekend. I know it would break the \~wedding planning code\~ to give any indication to her that I am aware of this happening if it was meant to be a surprise. WIBTA to give her any indication of this surprise? Further, WIBTA to NOT GO because of how inconvenient that weekend is?",WIBTA if I told my work friend about a bachelorette party her other friends were planning on a very inconvenient weekend??,YWBTA
10v0qkj,"I (F 28) got a job a couple of months ago working with neuro divergent children. At first the job was rewarding, but I find myself lately hating the job with a passion. The problem isn't the children, it''s how slow the work is. The job is one on one, teaching life skills and to me it's become so painfully slow that I can't take it anymore.I think part of the problem is that I might be Neuro Divergent as well (high functioning ADHD) so I need a fast passed job, otherwise my brain isn't stimulating enough.A other problem is that the children call sick often and my job gets canceled 1/3 of the time (without pay)One friend found me a fast pace job that pays better and is stimulating...But another friend says I am an AH for wanting to leave those kids without giving it more timeIt honestly gives me nightmares trying to figure out what is best... but since I am neuro divergent as well I feel like an AH for wanting to suddenly leave the kids that have bonded with me. WIBtAH if I left?",AITA for leaving job with neuro divergent kids because it's not stimulating enough?,NTA
10u5m8k,"I22 am from New York. I have a very strong New York accent, and I’m Italian, so I guess I speak loud, I don’t mean too and don’t notice. I was on my second date with this guy James24. James is very put together, a conservative, a grad student. He came from money. We went to a nice restaurant, and I ordered the lightest girliest food possible, wore a nice classy dress. I was very excited because I thought we hit it off on the first date.The date was going well, we were conversating and laughing. Towards the end he got rather quiet. After I got home James sent me a text asking why I behaved that way at dinner. I asked him what he meant and he said I was very loud and people were staring.I didn’t see anyone look at us. I apologized and told him I didn’t realize I was being loud, and he got upset and said I was being obnoxious and embarrassed him at an elegant place and he didn’t think we should go out again.This makes me feel bad, I never want to embarrass anyone. This was my first time at a really nice restaurant and I don’t know maybe he is overreacting.",AITA for being “loud” during a nice dinner?,NTA
10ulz0d,"For context, I am a contract web developer and stay-at-home mom, who works from home and struggles with ADD & PMDD. My husband works full-time at an office business. He is the only one with a car and a license, as we live in a walkable neighborhood and I don't drive.Both of us make good money. He pays the rent, utilities, and our daughter's school tuition, and I make enough during the contracts I get to pay for the groceries, streaming subscriptions, and the many extracurricular activities our daughter enjoys (swimming lessons, cooking lessons, yoga, etc).However, when it comes to our home, we struggle to find the balance. I pay to replace anything we need, clean to the best of my ability, and had worked VERY hard (despite my mental health challenges) over the last few weeks to get the place in order, build and install some new shelving & furniture (which I bought), declutter and downsize, and organize what we want to keep.My husband comes home and is very impressed! He said I did a great job and said, ""now, WE just need to keep this place in order!""Now, I get he works full-time and I try my best to be empathetic and supportive of him when he gets home. However, when he gets home, his expectations are food and TV. He doesn't put his shoes away, leaves his clothes all over my vanity (instead of the sizable hamper I bought and told him to put his clothes into), and rarely ever puts his dishes into the dishwasher (even if the dishwasher is clearly labelled ""dirty"") and will often leave them on the oven with food rotting on it until I come and clean it up.When I get annoyed and bring up the fact he could have put his dishes into the dishwasher or put his clothes into the hamper, he tells me, ""it's about balance. I contribute by working full-time and driving our daughter around. You don't."" My reply to him today was simple, ""it's not about balance. It's about capability. You have a car and can drive. I don't and can't, so I can't drive our daughter to places. However, all of us are capable of putting our dishes into the dishwasher, which includes you.""So, he called me an asshole...or actually a ""b-tch,"" but AITA for expecting that of him?\---**UPDATE:** Thank you everyone for your responses! I agree. I think that, while my tone towards him was definitely more irritated than I would have liked in hindsight, I am not the asshole here.Some more details:  I had asked my husband yesterday if he could finish filling up & starting the dishwasher then take the compost down, because he was heading down to the garbage/ recycling area anyway and I was planning on doing the laundry today. He said he would but didn't, which he apologized for and said he'd do it the next morning IF I left it beside the door for him.So, that sets the scene for today. TLDR; I settled on the compost & dishes not getting done until this morning.However, morning rolls past into nearly noon: dishes & food are still on the counter, and even the entry hallways counter (which I had just decluttered a week ago) had become cluttered with misc stuff. He was sitting on the couch, watching TV. So, I dropped him a hint: ""am *I* cleaning the kitchen today?""""Sure! That'd be great!""OOF! My irritation grew.""Can you clean the scraps and take down the compost before you leave?""""Oh, yeah. Sure.""So, the morning progresses and we had just received some lunch we ordered to eat before my daughter and husband head out. As I entered the kitchen with the food, I was immediately irritated all over again. He hadn't cleaned the scaps at all-- despite knowing I have sensory issues with touching and being around old food.I grabbed a few clean plates, took the food out to the living room, served my daughter and husband their lunch, and explained to my husband that I didn't have any counterspace to put the food on so that's why the whole tray is here. He goes into the kitchen to get a fork, comes out with a small dessert fork, and says, ""do we not have any more clean forks?""I'm thinking, OOF! YOU DID NOT!I explain, in an irritated tone, ""That dishwasher has had the 'dirty' label on it for almost 3 DAYS. You'd think SOMEBODY would be able to just finish filling it and turning it on over a weekend. It could have been me, but it was supposed to be you! So why are you asking me about the forks?"" He mumbles something... and I go to the washroom and psyche myself up to overcome my sensory issues. I put some gloves on and begrudgingly did the compost and filled/ started the dishwasher. FYI: We do NOT have a lot of counterspace (sadly) and it does not take long for this place to look like it's blown up.After, I came back out and tell him, ""we could (all of us) learn to put our dishes in the dishwasher more frequently so they don't build up like that."" FYI, I'm not going to act like I didn't have a couple dishes I had left in the sink, too.He snapped at me and said, ""It's about balance! I work full-time and drive our daughter around. You take care of the home!""""Need I remind you of how I told you on, I believe-- was it? Yes. Our THIRD DATE...how I told you I am NOT, nor will I ever be, a traditional, old-fashioned housewife? I don't mind cooking, laundry, and light cleaning, but I suck at deep cleaning and stuff that screws with my sensory issues! You KNEW this!Now, I don't mind doing things! I may not always have the energy. You KNOW how somedays it's hard for me just to even get out of bed, but I try and I've committed a lot of time and money into getting this place streamlined. The least I expect is that all of us (not just me) look after it! I don't need you to do everything but could you at least help me, for example, cut out the part where I have to run around the whole damn apartment looking for your clothes that MAY be dirty, or which I may just end up accidentally rewashing for the 3rd time in a row? Or, better yet, just help me avoid washing something you want to wear when you come home from work? Because then I don't have to deal with you acting sulky because your PJs or crusty dressing gown are still damp in the dryer when you get home.""Then he motioned at the ottoman, ""Look, I took my folded clothes off the ottoman, like you asked, so all that's left on there to be put away are yours and \[insert daughter's name\].""""Yes, thank you. I appreciate you doing that and I'll get the rest done. But am I really so awful for asking you to help me maintain our home in other ways, too? The other day, you told my father at dinner I was doing a 'fantastic job' organizing this place and told me after I finished decluttering the place, 'now *we* just need to get into the habit of keeping this place maintained!' Did you mean the Royal 'we' when you said that?""Then he got upset, ""I'll tell you what? I'll do the dishes one week, and YOU take our daughter to her activies one week. I'll do my own laundry and YOU can go pick up the groceries (**context:** I preorder and he it picks up, otherwise I have to use my pull cart to carry it home). You really want our contributions to be THAT balanced?""I scoffed, ""We're ALREADY supposed to be taking turns with the dishes! And I'm sorry but you're the only one in the household who drives! It could never BE that 'balanced,' if that's what you think balanced looks like!""Then he said he was done and that it was time for them to leave anyway. He got up off the couch and started to go.It was childish of me, but I called after him, ""Oh, I'm *such* a terrible person for asking you to put a plate into a dishwasher after you're done using it, aren't I? How *diabiolical*? How *malicious*?! I mean, how *could* I even *dare* ask that of you, right?""""I'm going to the washroom now,"" he grumbled, ""leave me alone.""When he came out and went to our room to change, I followed him because I wanted to explain one last thing. He said he didn't want to talk.""I know you don't walk to talk, which is why you can just listen. It isn't about balance. It's about capability. You're capable of driving and have the car. I'm not capable of driving and don't have a car. However, we're all capable of putting our plates into the dishwasher or our clothes into the hamper (including me). Now, I'm still going to do the laundry toda--""""Well, don't do mine! You don't have to do mine, I said!""""You don't have to take this so personally.""""I wouldn't take it so personally if you weren't such a b-tch about it!""""Excuse ME?! I'm NOT! Look, it'd be so much more time-consuming and wasted effort, spitefully picking through our laundry to figure out what's yours. So, I'm just going to wash everything. I'm sorry but I made it clear I'm not some old-fashioned, traditional housewife and that we'd both be maintaining our home.""He knew he stepped over a line and sheepishly said he understood. So, I dropped it so he could continue getting ready and I could focus on getting our daughter ready. I felt bad because our daughter had heard us arguing.""Is dad just joking?,"" she asked.""I wish. No. He's just having a temper tantrum, hon.""""Why?""""Same reason you sometimes do. Because he's upset. Even grownups have temper tantrums sometimes. We're not supposed to, just like you're not supposed to. We're supposed to know better, but they can happen sometimes.""""Why is he having one? Because you told him to put his dishes into the dishwasher?""It was at this moment that I realized she had probably heard the whole thing. It's a small place, even if she's in her room and I still feel awful she heard us bickering. ""Yeah. That's pretty much it, hon.""Despite our argument, after they left, I still decided on doing laundry b/c it needed to be done so my daughter can have clean clothes for school tomorrow. I read all of your responses before they came home and knew what I was going to say to him. When he got home, he was not mad but he wasn't interested in talking about it either. When I brought it up, he said, ""all I heard was you don't think I contribute enough.""I reiterated that this wasn't the case, at all, and that I made specifically sure that when I said ""we could **all of us** learn to put our dishes in the dishwasher more frequently"" to include the phrase ""all of us,"" because I had some dirty dishes that I left in the sink too!I said, ""I think you contribute a LOT! But you can still help by not making extra work for me where it isn't needed by practing better habits. We both need to get better at those habits! Especially if we want to instill good habits in our daughter. We both grew up not being expected nor taught how to properly maintain our living spaces. We're both struggling with it, but sometimes it feels like you're so invested in work that you're not as committed to learning these habits as I am.However, and I cannot stress this enough, I TOLD you I wasn't going to be a traditional housewife. You KNOW I suffer from my own mental health problems which make finding the energy and focus to do housework a challenge for me. And you KNOW my short-term memory loss \[via ADHD\] has been getting worse!""He said he understood. I don't know whether he actually did or if he simply didn't want to discuss it anymore tonight. I'm going to let him sleep on it and discuss it with him tomorrow over the phone.Lastly, one thing I will say is (today being an exception) we usually do pretty well at talking with one another. He's been EXTRA stressed at work due to financial hardships over both COVID and the supply chain issues, and now we've just learned our poor daughter's school is nearly bankrupt and will have to close down in 2 weeks. Our daughter is understandably heartbroken by the news and we're desperately working with the school to try to figure out how to either save the school or find a new one last minute for the rest of the year. My heart hurts for the Grade 12 kids, though. Whether they get to graduate is up in the air. But, that's neither here nor there. It's merely to emphasize how, neither one of us entered this weekend in a particularly good mood, which is why I'm being more patient with him. I promise, he's not normally this pissy.",AITA for asking my husband to put his dishes into the dishwasher?,NTA
10ultxh,"I (f27) live with my partner in the UK. My parents (f58, m60) live in a different country. During covid, my father’s business was going downhill. He has been working his own business for nearly 20 years, so clearly he wasn’t ready to call it quit.Last year, he borrowed money from me twice. First time it was USD$6000 and the second time USD$12,000. I told him the first $6000 I don’t expect him to return, it was most of my savings but he can have it since he has been a good dad to me growing up. He also paid for my college fee for 4 years which was about $20,000, so I think it’s fair to offer him some when he needed it.Though the $12,000 is actually a gift from my grandma on my mum’s side when I moved country, and it is literally my emergency savings that I do not usually touch in my bank account, so I do expect him to return it and initially he promised to return the money in a month. That was August 2022 and now he is still working on giving the money back, every time I call him he promises me again it'll be soon. He told me not to tell my mum and I have been keeping this secret to myself for over half a year.It is a big sum of amount for me. I work an average living wage job and each month I make around $2000 that covers my rent and other daily expenses. I don't have much spare money and live a very minimalistic lifestyle, my flat with my partner is a studio flat that doesn't even have a bedroom, as in my living room is my bedroom.Fast forward to now, apparently my mum found out from my other relatives (on my dad’s side) that he has borrowed money from all 5 of them (like at least $12,000 per sibling if not more), on top of that, my mum and my grandma had also lent him money before by putting their house back on mortgage. My relatives are pretty mad but they already don't expect my father to return the money (they're more well-off). And they can't wrap their head around my father's action as he could've ended the business with the money he borrowed and saved his ass, but he keeps trying, as he believes there is a chance for him to save his business and brings it back to its good old days. My mum is really upset and worried but my father just keeps saying ""don't worry, I will get the money back and give it all back to them"".I didn’t tell my mum he has borrowed money from me because I know she will be soooo mad and my dad would be completely shamed. But I don’t know if I should keep covering up for him. Personally, I believe my father will return the money (at least to me, unsure about his siblings), but I don't know at this point. If I tell my mum, would it be nicer that everyone in the family knows? Or, if I do tell my mum, would it make him less likely to return my money too, so I should keep it a secret instead (because once the secret is out he won't be scared anymore)?WIBTA to tell my mum that my father borrowed money from me?AITA for chasing my father to return my money even though he has been nice to me and provided for me when I was a kid?EDIT, EXTRA INFO:Initially, when he was borrowing from me, he did say things like ""you aren't not gonna not help your dad right? Don't you trust your father?"" It did feel a bit guilt trippy but it worked, which is why I did lent him the money, now looking back I feel a bit silly. I really hope the trust isn't gonna be broken, considering he is the type of person that doesn't smoke, drink, gamble, he had a good track record as a good father until now. He also works 6-7 days a week now, seemingly trying really hard to savage the business and the situation.",WIBTA to tell my mum that my dad borrowed money from me?,NTA
10ub1yo,"My wife and I (47m, 46f) have three children (24f, 20m, 17f.) Without getting into a bunch of boring details my wife and I run a fairly successful business. However due to certain economic setbacks it hasn't been as fruitful lately as it was in years past.We were able to support our oldest daughter and let her live in our home rent-free through her 21st birthday, at which point we started to charge her nominal rent. However, when it came to her brother a couple of years later circumstances have changed and I decided that we couldn't afford to have an adult living in our home for free and that he will have to start paying rent.He's grumbled about it a little bit but he's started to pay it. The actual conflict is coming from his mother. She keeps insisting that since we didn't charge his sister rent at his current age that it's unfair to charge him rent right now, and that we are just going to have to figure out how to make it work. But I don't think that ""fair"" really has anything to do with it; it's just a matter of what we can afford right now vs what we were able to afford then. AITA?",AITA for making my son pay rent before age 21 even though I didn't make his sister do the same?,YTA
10ur8rp,"Me and my mother had always bumped heads because she thinks I spend too much time in the bathroom, and I admit it's sometimes true, I do enjoy an occasional long shower or bath, sometimes I have to shave, do my skincare, or make up, and in those instances, if I know it will take a while I gladly let her go ahead of me. Sometimes I don't spend a long time in the bathroom because I want to, I do have certain issues with my bowels, that I've had since I was a kid, so it takes me a bit longer, I can't help it. But she got to the point where every time I want to use the bathroom she will ask to go first, because ""she will be done in two minutes""... Like, she would see me walk to towards the bathroom and come quickly and tell me to let her go first. And I do most of the time, if I know I will take long such as taking a bath or do my makeup, but sometimes waiting just isn't an option. Today I wanted to use the bathroom, I have been constipated for the past few days because of stress, and I was really happy I finally needed to go... And again, she said ""I'm not going to wait for you, I'll go first and I'll be out in 2 minutes."" I try to wait but the w minutes passed and my abdomen was already hurting so I knock at the door, and she opens as she was filling a watering can in the bathtub... And I'm like, are you done yet? And she said she didn't started yet, so I ask her to leave, as I go sit on the toilet, because I couldn't wait anymore. She gets out, but keeps reminding me trough the door that she's waiting, and when I get out she yells at me for walking in on her, I tell her that I said I wanted to go first because I knew it was an emergency, but she always demans to go before me and she should just wait her turn, but she said it isn't fair for her to wait after me when it will take her less time. And tells me I could hold it for 2 more minutes, but that's not how my body works.We do have a second, smaller bathroom, downstairs, that we don't usually use, the toilet was built on a platform so my grandpa, when he was alive, could get up easyer, but it's too tall for me to use it comfortably as my feet are sort of hanging. And tonight mom decided to get the stray dog she was feeding inside and let her sleep in the small bathroom, (while our own dog sleeps outside, but that's a different story). So I didn't really want to wake her up and stink up the place if she's already sleeping there. Am I the asshole for telling her she should wait?",AITA for telling my mom she can wait for her turn to use the bathroom?,NTA
10uknoe,"To keep long story short.I had a grandma that I genuinely did not respect neither did she, though she stated otherwise. As far as I remember she was big toxic person and all of the visits to her was a nightmare for me. I am going to vacation tommorow (planned almost 4 months ago) and it seems that the funeral will be organised in the week that I am away. For my statement that she was not a close person for me and I am going to trip instead of letting go my plans away and attend the funeral of a person that wasnt even close to me, my parents went insane and called me that they raise a monster and I have them deep in the ahole. AITA for prioritising my own plans and not behaving like my parents want me to?",AITA (25f) since I dont want to attend my grandma funeral,NTA
10tvob4,"So. My fiancee has a bad fear of flying. Whenever we fly together she takes one of two options: 1. She drinks before the flight so she's tipsy and less scared2. She takes the local equivalent of a Xanax which basically means she sleeps most of the flightAs we are going on a transatlantic flight (11H) she went for option 2 with the hope of sleeping all the time. We normally always sit together and she holds my hand - I distract her with stories and we watch movies together... but here's the kicker: I have a business class ticket from work and she booked an economy ticket to join me on the trip. Her perspective is that I should give up the business class ticket and we should just sit together in economy, where my perspective is that it would be a huge waste of money and comfort to do so. Especially since she will likely be sleeping most of the flight I think it wouldn't make sense for both of us to sit in economy. Her perspective is that it's more important for me to sit next to her when she's afraid.On the outgoing flight, I checked in using business class, sat with her in economy during take off and then gave my business class seat to her so she could sleep comfortably during the full flight. I sat in economy throughout the flight. We are now about to go on the return flight and as I have an important meeting on Monday I need to be rested and suggested that I use the business class seat this time, checking in on her every hour and using the in-flight wifi so she can reach me if there's any emergency. AITA here for not just giving up the seat? Curious what other people would do in this situation.EDIT to clarify some stuff:1. Yes this a business trip for me. We thought we could upgrade my fiancee before the flight at a reduced fare but the prices went through the roof. We took a holiday after the business trip.2. My fiancee would be ok to sit in economy together - she's not ""just trying to get the business class ticket"". My thinking on the outgoing flight was that she would be able to sleep all the time in the business class seat, where in economy that's harder with the lack of recline etc.3. It's easy to move back and forth between business and economy. On the outgoing flight we sat next to each other whenever we weren't sleeping and my plan is to do the same now regardless of who sits where. My fiancee would just prefer to sit next to each other all the time.4. Flight time was 11H not 14H. Updated as some people doubted authenticity of the post.",AITA for not sitting with my fiancee during a transatlantic flight?,NTA
10v3puk,"→ Yesterday at 11:33 PM\-Quiet down a little plsYesterday at 11:46 PM\-DudeZelex 2day at 2:08 AMYe dude. u do the same shit later. When ur dad has work. Up 2 2-3 pm sometimes that I can hear through my headset despite being pretty deaf. If u need me 2 be quieter early let me know ahead of time I rarely get the chance 2 play w/peopleI get I go a little hard but if ur going 2 bed early just let me know2day at 2:10 AM\-I was literally asleep already and this has been a fairly normal thing what are u talking about\-And I have been regularly done by midnight 4 weeks now outside of when my dad doesnt work(edited)Zelex 2day at 2:11 AMYeah maybe the last few months but ur always up late fucking cursing and screaming. u only seem 2 care if it affects u. Idc about that. But like why hold me 2 a standard u dont keep. Let me know ahead of time and Ill do my best 2 be quiet when ur asleepIve definitely been sleeping while ur awakeLiterally asked u if u still worked because u always seem 2 be up when I am and ur car is here when I leave 4 work and when I get back2day at 2:13 AM\-That was 2 days\-That I had off and then a couple the week after where I was off at 11 am and I went right 2 sleep all \-but 1 dayZelex 2day at 2:16 AMSo u urself said ur cutoff is midnight so y complain b4 then?I didnt know u were asleepday at 2:17 AM\-I told I was already asleep at the start off this, look man just do u Im not gonna talk about it ---anymoreZelex 2day at 2:17 AMu dont even talk 2 me 4 the most partI mean no. This is urs and ur dads house. I need actual guidelines. If ur doing one thing I follow what u do. If u need me 2 do something different the. Actually set the rulesIf I can't play games after a certain point then Ill have 2 live with thatBut if u guys dont set the rules and do the same shit then what do u want from me?\-Unless my dad says anything just do u. I dont care anymore.\-Simple as that now.Zelex 2day at 2:30 AMno u know ur dad wont. so just give me a cut off time2day at 2:30 AM\-Im telling u right nowZelex 2day at 2:30 AMas far as i know he doesnt say anything 2 u so why would he 2 me2day at 2:30 AM\-Until he says something I dont care anymore\-Thats the end of itam pretty tipsy during thing conversation and now. the ---- is my roommate/friend. i rent a room from his father. he stays 4 free 4 the most part. if anything is unclear just ask. im sure like most people im just here 2 find out weather im being a dick or not.i guess 4 the 4ums expectations i try 2 lay out my conundrum, i technically pay rent 2 his dad, and he lives within the household 4 free. hes calling me out 4 something he does himself and later into the night w/ more obscenities. so am i the ass-hole here 4 calling him out rather than just rolling over since its his dads house. honestly i just wanted clear ground rules since he does the exact same shit. im not good socially so im not sure if im missing some sort of normal rule here.",AITA Roommate stuff.,YTA
10v0aqb,"I (25f) have two sisters, K (35f) & L (28f). Our mother (77f) has various age-related health issues, & I live alone w/ her as her primary caretaker, & have done so for many years. K helps out occasionally as well, bc she lives nearby, but L lives pretty far away in neighboring state so only comes to visit occasionally. L also has three young kids that keep her busy, & a chronic illness that is exacerbated by stress. She rarely ever expresses interest in mom during our conversations, & even when she comes into town she only visits w/ Mom for the bare minimum of a few minutes here & there, being more interested in catching up w/ old friends.Well, a few weeks ago during some routine tests, we found out that mom has a cyst on her liver & we would need to  follow up w/ a specialist doctor.  At this point, we don't know much so we decide not to mention anything to L until we have something more definitive, not wanting to worry her.Fast forward three weeks, & we get mom into the specialist, who orders another scan & gives a referral for a potential liver biopsy. At this point we know a bit more, but still nothing definitive.  Nevertheless, we decide to tell  L what we know, since she is waffling about a planned trip to visit us for Mom's birthday, & it seems relevant. K volunteers to talk to her about it bc I had been very sick myself the past week (couldn't barely get out of bed) & I also had a big remote work deadline on Wednesday that I was still trying to complete (from my bed).Well on Monday, after the appointment, mom texts L basically saying 'I saw the doctor today’, bc that's about the extent of her ability to text in her old age.Naturally L asked me what happened, but again I'm sick & trying to meet my deadline, so I tell her that K will call her in a day or so to chat, since K planned to anyways.  I don't give it any more thought, until Wednesday when L reached out in group chat w/ me & K to express aggravation at still not being in the loop. K calls L but L doesn't pick up bc she's aggravated, so K just texts the details in the group chat. L seemed aggravated but overall ok. Until she texts me privately.She absolutely blows up & lays into me. Basically how dare I keep this from her, how could I not tell her originally, but especially today I had all day & could've texted her bc she is free on Wednesdays (mind you she didn't text me at all today either). After a fairly long & hurtful rant, she tells me that if I ever do anything like this again that she will never talk to me again.  I guess she doesn't hold K responsible bc K doesn't live w/ mom. Also K & L have never been very close, but historically I have been close w/ both of my sisters.  So I felt pretty sad & guilty for the next few days, & obviously didn't meet my work deadline bc I was still sick & now on top of that I was crying, & couldn't concentrate..  & she knew I had that deadline too (& how sick I was), I just feel like she didn't consider our intentions or my situation at all.AITA?",AITA for not telling my sister about our Mom’s appt results?,NTA
10t709m,"My son (17m) has apparently been in the closet for the past 7 months. So, my son is fairly masculine/straight acting if that makes sense, however he's very obviously had a boyfriend (18m) for the past 7 months. He sometimes baby talks to this boy, hugs him all the time, has called him handsome, share clothes, sits away too close to each other to the point where they're basically cuddling, he closes his bedroom door when with him but not any other friends, sees him like everyday, buys him gifts, and for the past 7 months he now always smells great, has his hair fixed really nice, and dresses nicer, among other things.Today I asked my son if was going to invite his boyfriend on our trip, and he got awkward and said “that's not funny”, I asked what he meant and he said “Im straight, that's not funny” I laughed and when I realized he was serious I staryed laughing even harder.I told him he was very obviously in a relationship with a guy and did a terrible job at hiding it, he got emotional and started asking me not to tell his dad (my husband already knows, like I said it was obvious). Then he got upset saying outed him when he wasn't ready, he hasn't said a word to me in a couple days. AITA?",AITA for telling my son that he is obviously gay?,NTA
10v5vea,"I wanted to go out drinking Friday night with my ""friends"" even though my wife told me she needed me. For context her father is in the ICU on life support and the power has been out at home all week from a winter storm and she was stuck there taking care of the kids. She said she would rather me come home because she was having an anxiety attack that just wouldn't go away because she was discussing with her brother all day weather or not to take her dad off life support. But I feel like I've had a long week and wanted to go drinking. So I went anyway. So, am I the asshole?Edit: id had a long week at work. I just wanted to have some fun. She doesn't even work","AITA for going to ""play pool""?",YTA
10tjehi,"So after reading through the comments, I thought I'd give an update. First, thank you everyone that commented. This has been a sore spot for me for a while now. I got married 3 weeks ago and I'm the happiest I've ever been. The ceremony was beautiful and we had an amazing time. My brother was not in it, nor did he attend. So, here's what happened:I spoke to my brother about his accusations and he proceeded to act like nothing happened and that he did nothing wrong. Essentially just trying to brush it under the rug. Over Christmas he, his wife, and my niece came to our mom's house for a little while and the tension was so high that we barely spoke. The day after Christmas, he texted me asking if he and his wife were still invited to the wedding. I told him, ""If you can rectify and apologize for the situation with mom then yes."" He then replied with, ""Well then we're not going cause I don't have anything to apologize for."" This hurt so much and I haven't talked to him since. I don't know where this is going to go or if I'll ever see my niece outside of holidays again. Again, thank you all so much for your advice. I know it isn't much of an update, but it has been a big weight that I've been slowly getting past since it all happened. Have a great day.",Update: WIBTA For Booting my Brother From My Wedding?,NTA
10ugip1,"My husband & I have been married for 27 years.  3 years ago I was diagnosed with a  chronic illness that limits what and how much I can do. We both work full time.   House cleaning has become a constant issue between us.  He gets mad and argues with me because he feels he is doing all the cleaning.  I have good days and bad days.  On my good days I do what I can, but if I do too much, I can only sit and rest for a few days.  Work takes a lot out of me & I need weekends to recover.  I try to keep up with dished, laundry, etc... but sometimes I can only do a little bit and the job isn't complete.  I feel guilty, but I physically can't do more.  My husband gets mad and upset with me for not doing my part.  Am I wrong with only doing what I can or should I push myself more even if it causes me pain & fatigue?",AITA for setting boundaries about chores around the house?,NTA
10tgvfa,"So a couple of weeks ago a psychologist came to my school to present to my senior class a PowerPoint about how our nervous system works and how to keep ourselves calm during exam season. I, being a very curious guy asked the psychologist what the difference was between the sympathetic and the parasympathetic nervous systems. This very question left the psychologist very uneasy, she could not give a clear answer and was left uncomfortable for the rest of the presentation. When it finally ended the teacher who was with us was fuming at me since apparently ""that was not appropriate"" and I ""needed to learn when and where to ask questions to not leave people in an awkward situation"".  Needless to say, I was furious. So a person comes to a bunch of 17-year-olds to deliver a lecture on something and they aren't ready to answer a single question about what they have been talking about five minutes before? Besides, no one else was giving two craps about the presentation, I was the only one who cared enough to ask questions. Had I not interrogated the psychologist she would have had a hard time regardless, as it would be noticeable that no one was caring.  My class is divided on this, my teachers are against me and my parents are divided too, with my father being on my side and my mother against me.  So am I the asshole? All feedback is appreciated.",AITA for asking questions during a psychology presentation?,YTA
10v3emd,"My husband told me last nite he'd got me an early birthday present, 3 months early. I asked him what it was, and he then went on to explain how it took a month of negotiations.I'm from North Carolina, he's a Brooklynite living here in Charlotte, NC. He's still got the Brooklyn accent.He said he'd negotiated to get me on The Simon Mayo Drivetime Show on Greatest Hits Radio in England as ""The Hot Hillbilly MILF Support Worker"" and that I'd be able to get on Simon Mayo's show.I'm a support worker from Charlotte, North Carolina who works with adults who have Down's Syndrome, been doing it for 19 years now.Hillbilly is a bit of an insult, ain't it? And they ain't from South Carolina, IIRC? Isn't it usually Kentucky or West Virginia?FWIW, people keep claiming my state feels more Midwestern than traditionally Southern or at least, for my city, like a bolt-on to New York City, more specifically Manhattan. Tourists to my hometown always say it feels like it's a part of Manhattan, and one guy even posted on TripAdvisor:> Why don't they move Charlotte out of Mecklenburg County and have it join Manhattan Borough in New York State, with Andrew Cuomo governing?(that was written in August 2019 pre-pandemic on a TripAdvisor review of somewhere in my city!)I told my husband I was shocked and thanked him for the surprise, but said that he needed to tell me in advance if he'd done a booking as I've had a busy work schedule in the day, I do a 10am-5pm shift most days, 10am-7pm occasionally, and I'm not tied to one person, but multiple.I told my husband that he was well-intentioned but it could clash with my work schedule and I'm worried about money at the moment and the economy.AITA for being concerned with how my husband's portraying me to Brits, and the use of the word ""hillbilly"" about people in North Carolina?",AITA for being shocked by my husband's surprise?,NTA
10ufez1,"My sister had asked me and my husband if we'd want to go somewhere with our 11 month old daughter. We looked up how far the place was and it's an hour and a half away. I said no because I don't want the baby in the car seat that long and if we were to take breaks, it would take us two hours to get there. Plus, she is still on two naps rn, it would be incredibly hard on the baby. I'd rather wait to do long car rides when she is down to one nap.Shes probably mad because I've told her no to hanging out many times because I don't have money since we are on one income atm and our bills take up all of our money. I've told her we are broke and I'm tired of her spending her money on us.She complains to my mom about the times I've said no so I get my mom on me about hanging out with her. My sister doesn't come to me about it. I've told my mom countless times that she needs to come to me instead but my mom just tries to make me feel bad for not doing anything with my sister.Tbh, I'm a homebody and much prefer being at home so the pressure to go out when 1) I don't have money, 2) I have an infant still, and 3) because I honestly just want to stay home, is making me feel so frustrated and no one seems to want to understand that.And, what bothers me the most is my sister only wants to see the baby when we are out. She won't meet us halfway on this which we are totally able to do. But she won't stick to somewhere closer for us.",AITA for saying no to hanging out with my sister?,NTA
10uj5yl,"Long time lurker, first time poster in here. Quick context for reference. My spouse has been in and out of mental health/rehab facilities for the last 14 months. For a total of 9 months being gone. I work full time, and we have a nearly 3 year old child. So, as you could imagine, I’ve been pretty much a single parent during this entire time. With only my income to support us all. It’s stressful, and tiring. But I’m doing my best. Recently, my In-laws have gifted us  an all-expense paid trip to a major theme park nearby. By spouse is currently in a facility again. The trip was originally planned with my spouse in mind, and tickets were purchased for them to be able to go as well. My in-laws have already bought their plane tickets, hotel, the whole thing. My spouse is now telling me that they do not want me to go because “they will be missing the first trip with our child to this park.” My spouse has missed many first time things up to this point. But is making me feel extremely guilty for going, and that I’ll have to deal with the “repercussions.” WIBTAH for going? Trying to get some unbiased opinions from the internet world here.",WIBTAH for taking my kid to a theme park without my spouse?,NTA
10ukzuh,"Me (22f) and my bf (23m) have been together for over 8 years.Yesterday we went out with his friends to a party and I did not know anyone. At one point he said him and a couple friends had to go to the car to get something real quick. I said okay but to try to hurry back. He ended up leaving me for 30 minutes. While he was gone I was talking to one of the girls and she asked where he went and I said he had to go get something from the car. One of the other girls heard and said they actually went outside to smoke. He knows for personal reasons I’m not big on him smoking, but I’m not in charge of what he does. I was however upset about him lying. A few minutes later one of the girls came up to me and said something like “I’m glad you guys finally stayed for a few! usually he just stops by for a couple minutes to smoke.” I knew nothing about this because he tells me he goes home after his games. I should mention we’ve had issues in the past with him “withholding information” and him saying it’s not lying cus I didn’t directly ask. I causally brought it up to him to hear his side and he started yelling at me for considering believing it. Now the argument is flipped on me and he’s saying I’m in the wrong for accusing him. Now I’m questioning if I shouldn’t have said anything.AITA?Edit: I just want to say again I’m NOT mad about him smoking. I brought that up as a reason for why he might have lied. I’m only mad about the lying. I would not tell him what he can and can’t do as a grown adult.",AITA for accusing my bf of lying?,NTA
10u4lfm,"I effectively evicted my daughter and her new husband (they got married in Sept 2022) in January 2023.Why? I bailed them out of an entire year's rent & utilities from their prior landlord in a city where my daughter was SUPPOSED to going college (but did not attend single day)! Unfortunately, I was a co-signator for the apartment. I was sending THEM - not the landlord - 50% of the rent. They not only did not pay their half - they spent my money too. By my math, that means I paid 150% of their rent for the entire year!!! Why the landlord did not contact me before I dragged them home I will never know.I also bought them a car in 2021 (which they managed to write-off, against my insurance! Stupidly, I replaced it in 2022 an even more expensive one) so that they could to work ... And obviously I've been paying the tax, insurance and maintenance the car(s) too!!! I've also been paying their phone bills since 2021! (latter one ends one ends the 13th Feb).The ""rent crisis"" was August 2022, and at that stage I was already knee deep in paying for their wedding (September 2022) :(Despite that, in August 2022, I told them that they could stay (more or less indefinitely) as long as they both got jobs and as a couple, they paid me at least $100 per week towards the debt (btw - ""cheap"" 1 bed apartments go for $1200 per month around here). I also stated that I expected them to save the same amount for when they moved out. Assuming both of the above were met, I said we would waive any rent/utilities, but I simply expected them to sweep the deck, keep their ROOMS clean (we gave them an entire 3-room floor/""mother-in-law apartment"" to themselves) and clean up after their dog - Not even make their own meals - just tell us what sort of food they wanted to eat.January ... No deck sweeping in 4 months. 1 cleanup after their dog (within a week there was 13 turds on the deck - not even fenced in yard! ... Seriously???)No debt payments; No utility payments; No rent payments ... They didn't even pay off their own overdraft! But they had lots of money to buy 7 or 8 large lego sets! (Those things are least $100 each).We had told them twice a month since start October (so that there was no additional stress during the wedding in September) that the debt repayment & chores were a minimum to stay.Jan 5th, we very clearly reiterated the statementabove, and said that if we did not see chores and debt repayments on a weekly basis, we would assume they had chosen to leave.They disappeared overnight in mid january, and are now telling our family, friends and neighbours that ""we bullied them and then kicked them out"".Please tell where I wrong? I know she's my daughter, but I literally had to sign for a second mortgage on Friday to cover the financial hole my wife and I find ourselves in!!!",AITA for evicting my daughter?,NTA
10uzqxx,"My husband is a ghostwriter and a stay-at-home parent of 2 kids (ages 6 and 9). while I am the working parent. My work can be very exhausting. I work from 9 to 6. So most of the time, my husband is the go-to parent when they need something or want to do something. My husband is very outdoorsy and active, so he always takes them somewhere, like hiking, biking, skating, etc. He is a very big believer in investing in hobbies. And he's just the creative person, I guess.My daughter is turning 10 soon, and when we were eating dinner together, my husband told me that she knew what she was doing for her birthday. I asked what she was doing, and she said she and her dad were planning a sleepover and they were going to meet after school tomorrow. My husband showed me a tiktok of something really fancy (what she had in mind); it seems like a really big project.I feel like there is a big gap between me and my daughter, and I thought this opportunity would be perfect to try and get closer. I try to talk to her, but she always seems uncomfortable or awkward. I know my husband is her favorite parent, but I just want us to be closer. So I told her, ""Why don't I assist her with the project?"" because Daddy is so preoccupied with his book. She asked her dad if he was busy, and my husband went along with it. She got kind of sad and said that she wanted daddy to help her and that I didn't know what she liked. I told her I could be just as good as her dad. She said okay, but she sounded unsure, which I believe was due to the fact that her father is usually in charge of these events.After dinner, my husband told me he didn't like how I made a decision like that without consulting him beforehand and that he wasn't sure whether I could handle a 10-year-old party and that this is not even what our daughter wants. I told him my thought process behind wanting to plan it and that I was sure this was something I could do. Everyone seems to be a bit awkward about me taking over the planning. Am i wrong here?",AITA for handling the sleepover planning?,YTA
10tx1aw,"New throwaway account as my family is on here also written on a phone, sorry. I (30f) having been battling my weight my whole life. It's gotten worse since the pandemic due to thyroid issues, a layoff that led to depression and severe eating my feelings. I was already about 60 pounds over weight. I gained an additional 80/90 over the last two years. It has become harder for me to function and live. So I saw a doctor about a weight-loss program. Im on a great program that has helped me lose 10 pounds since the new year. It has done a 180 to my eating habits I feel so much better on a daily basis with more energy. Now the issue. Friday, my mom invited myself and siblings for dinner. I asked ahead of time for the menu so I knew what I could eat and if I needed to bring something else to keep to my diet. My mom said oh no worries they are cutting back too and it's a healthy meal. (Side note she does know my diet as we have discussed it low carb high protein lean meat no sugar.) Okay I trust her. Well the dinner comes and mom serves a salad first. Okay fine I picked out the croutons doing great so far. The main meal is porkchops cooked in a ready gravy, so packed with sugars and carbs with potatoes, and rolls with cake and ice cream for dessert. I'm looking and cant eat any of this. Mom sees me just eating more salad and asks why I'm not eating the food she spent hours making. I said you know I'm diabetic now with high blood pressure. I can't eat any of this you told me you guys were watching your diet too. She goes ""well we're all together for a meal I thought that was a good reason to celebrate and cheat a little. It's not like one meal will kill you."" I said ""this is exactly why I asked for the menu ahead of time so I could plan. I said this was very disrespectful to do this when she's knows how hard I am trying to save my own life! I'm only 30 and on diabetic medication and blood pressure meds and how does she not understand how serious this and has the gall to guilt me into eating?"" My grandma chimes in that diets don't work forever and I'll never stick to it forever so I should just enjoy this meal my mother was kind enough to make everyone and say thank you. I said ""no this very serious and my family should be supporting me for trying so hard."" My grandma called me spoiled and my mom said I was ungrateful for all her effort to make a nice meal. My siblings were on my side saying they want their sister alive and my brother said it was no different then trying to force feed someone food they are allergic to and then getting upset they won't give themselves a reaction by eating it. My mom and grandma continued to tell me how awful I was for not eating so I left.I have since gotten a  text from my mom and dad reinforcing how ungrateful I am and in the future if I make food they won't eat it so I can see how it feels. I get I hurt her feelings and possibly wasted food but am I really the AH here?",AITA for not eating a meal my mom made for me?,NTA
10u0dsx,"I (F49) have three daughters, Maggie (F20), Miranda (F18) and Michelle (F15). My eldest moved out last year to transfer to a different college farther from home, about a 6 hour drive. We have an old house (it was built in the 1910s) and I needed some renovations done in my office because of some issues with the wiring, so I moved Maggie’s stuff to the basement and put my office things in there.Well, Maggie came home unexpectedly this weekend and was kind of upset that I moved her stuff. She said I’d said I’d leave her room alone and that she might want to stop by unexpectedly to make sure everything’s okay and to see us. I told her it was temporary and that it wasn’t that big of a deal. Maggie told me it was ‘whatever’ and went to sleep on the floor in Miranda’s room. Miranda told me she seemed upset.I think she’s being dramatic, but I’ve been told I can be rude, even when I’m not trying to be, so maybe it’s my fault. AITA?",AITA for moving all of my daughter’s stuff into the basement?,YTA
10ub0vw,"Me (30F), my childhood friend (30F) and another childhood friend’s boyfriend (30M) started a bet to see who could lose the most weight by a certain date. The winner will get $250 from each loser.I worked hard at the gym for months and won the bet. However, seeing as these people are my long-time friends, I offered to not take the money and accept a meal treat instead. The date was arranged and my childhood friend flaked just a few days before, saying she was very busy with work and will rearrange a date to meet. She has always been flakey but she hasn’t said a word in our group chat to rearrange a date for 3 months now - the last time I brought it up she said she will let us know again.I’m pretty fed up that I offered her a cheaper alternative to get out of it but she seems to be taking advantage of it. I’ve always believed that a bet is a bet and if I’d lost I would’ve immediately paid up or arranged for a treat asap.AITA if I ask to collect the money now? Because a meetup with all of us seems pretty unlikely now (my other childhood friend’s boyfriend just broke up with her)EDIT: Another question - is she worth keeping as a friend?",AITA for asking money for a bet I won?,NTA
10ug8v2,"(Sorry for my English, it’s not my first language)Me ( 13F ) and my family had some sort of a family meeting a few days ago.  One of my cousins (28M) talked about his mental health and how hard is it for him. My father (43M) then started talking about how that it’s nothing and he should just get over it. He said that he had gone through much worse things than that. My mom (42F) tried telling him that the way my cousin was feeling was hard and you can’t control it. My father kept disagreeing and he got on my nerves so I said that he is selfish. My cousin was talking about his issues and he made that about himself while also having the audacity to say that he should just “get over it”. I told him that it’s not easy to control your feelings and thoughts and that just because he lets his anger out and doesn’t feel like this doesn’t mean it’s easy to just get over your mental issues. He got mad at me and told me I’m “too young” to understand. My mom agreed with me, but my dad kept saying that I shouldn’t have embarrassed him like that and that basically I did a AHOLE move.  So what do you think? Should’ve kept me mouth shut?",AITA for telling my dad that he is selfish?,NTA
10tp9ps,"Me (35M) and my husband (34M) adopted a girl(11F) 9 years ago. My husband is Italian and I am Brazilian, but we communicate in English as it is our common language. I always wanted my daughter to get to know my culture from an early age, so I invested in Portuguese classes so that one day she could travel to my country. However, during classes I noticed that she was great with languages ​​and learned very quickly. That's why I learned more languages ​​with her. Currently she understands English, Portuguese, Spanish and a little Italian. Recently, my husband said that I should invest in another hobby with our daughter, as studying languages ​​is not very common and he felt left out. He also said he wished we only spoke English at home as he didn't understand the other languages ​​and again said he felt left out. When I asked what he wanted us to do with him, he suggested trips (only countries he liked), games and family time. I replied that if he wanted to spend more time with her he should show interest in her hobby even if it wasn't that common instead of just being jealous. After that night he hasn't spoken to me properly and said he expects an apology from me. I'm not sure if I was the asshole, as what he suggested was to force our daughter to do things he enjoyed instead of joining us in our hobby of learning other languages. My daughter is not a math or science genius but she is very smart when it comes to learning and I want to invest in that trait in her as it will be good for her future. So AITA?Update: Reading some comments I suggested to my husband that he should teach our daughter something. Today when I got home from work I came across them in the kitchen preparing dinner. There were a lot of dirty pans, but they seemed to be enjoying themselves. I was even greeted with cake. They finally found something they like in common and are enjoying doing it together! I apologized to him for the way I expressed myself and now we're on speaking terms again, thanks for the help! And I forgot to mention, but we are a gay couple as many are mistaking me for a woman.",AITA for saying that my husband is jealous of my relationship with our daughter?,NTA
10uhi30," I apologize for any errors as english is not my first language.I’m feeling extremely conflicted about this situation and since last time this place helped a lot I’m hoping to get new perspectives. So essentially, one of my friends invited my wife (f24) and I(m27) on a skii trip this upcoming week. He’s booking an entire cabin and inviting a lot of our other friends as well. This invitation is extremely sudden (happened this friday)  since we’ve had a looooot of snowfall in our country in the past week so it's the best time to go skiing. Both my wife and I absolutely ***love*** skiing, but for the past 2 years we sadly couldn’t go at all. In 2020, 2021 it was the whole pandemic issue. In 2022 we had to take care of our newborn son and decided it was best not to go. We both miss skiing. The issue is she can’t come this week. She has a law school exam this week and another one the week after. She’ll only have a break between semesters during the last week of February. That week I doubt I can take a vacation from work because a lot of other doctors have already booked that period and the hospital would be severely understaffed. It's honestly a lot easier for me to do it now. Plus I don’t know how the snow will be by then. We had little to no snowfall until last week. Right now the snow is perfect from what I've heard but who knows what it'll be like in a month. So yeah, I've been overworked the past few months (think 6 days a week all of December and January) and I really miss skiing. My friend is **paying** for the accommodations and food so that's a bonus. I kinda just want to go now without her this week. Would that make me a massive asshole?",WIBTA for leaving without my wife?,YTA
10tjdwf,"My son (15) has a friend who is currently in inpatient mental health treatment. Even though the patients are underage, visitors under 18 aren't allowed, for whatever reason. My son asked me to go visit for him and give his friend some comics, a letter and a pizza. Apparently the food there is bad, but you can bring outside food to visits and patients can eat it during the visit.The thing is, I don't want to go. His parents go and see him most days, and I'm sure they bring snacks. I told my son I could give them the comics and letter to give him. He said no, because he doesn't trust them not to read his letter. Well, I really don't want to go to the hospital. I just don't feel comfortable.My son said I'm being a judgemental asshole, but I'm not judging his friend, I just don't want to go. I don't even know what I would say to him. Would I just sit in silence and watch him eat pizza? I told him to ask his dad, but my husband works weird hours and would only be able to go on the weekends, and apparently the parents always go on weekends.My son is really disappointed in me and angry at me, but don't I have the right to have boundaries? He told me that I was lying when I said he can ask me for anything. He can ask, but this is one request I don't think I can fulfill.Update: I read everyone's comments and a handful actually had productive feedback or information. Based on one person's idea I will schedule a time to go when my son isn't busy and then facetime him in the visiting area. He and his friend will get to have a (mostly) private ""face to face"" chat, his friend will get to enjoy his pizza and he'll get his letter and comics. It'll be pretty much a visit between them, and I'll just be the chauffer, basically. Thank you to the people who responded in good faith and actually read the post before commenting, as few of you as there were.",AITA for not wanting to go to a mental health ward?,NTA
10uk0w5,"Not native english speakerM21 here. I was bullied in the past a lot and I am often emotionally unstable plus I have social anxiety. This gets very ugly when I feel threatened, mocked or very inseccure. Also I am introvert and I like to be alone. Today I felt very sleepy after flying my Air 2s and I wanted to go to sleep. It was around 3pm and I was lying in my bed and almost fell asleep. My mum then said I forgot to take my clothes from washing machine to tumble dryer. I said I'll do it later. She said: ""Ok"" and then went away. Btw she didn't see me lying in bed. She shouted that across the other room. Then I fell asleep and half hour later a call on my phone wakes me up. This made me angry and I answered the phone. I hate when someone wants something from me while I want to sleep. It was my mum and she said she needs to help with 3 beer kegs to take them to car. She and her friends were cleaning a community centre after a party. I said: ""I was sleeping, why are you waking me up?"" Then I heared laughing in the phone and I felt like they don't care about my sleep and my needs. I said: ""Fine"" and I hung up the phone. I went there and I am sure I looked angry. I took the first keg alone and placed it into the car. Then I took the second one and my mum helped me with that one. Then I wanted to take the third one alone without waiting for my mum. This keg was the heaviest. And then one of her friend said: ""Why are men always so stupid? Why they never let someone help them?"" This made me so angry and I said: ""Really? You have 4 people here and you need to wake me up and force me from my bed only to take some kegs to a car!? That's more than enough people to do that!"" Luckily I wasn't shouting but they stayed silent after that.All those friends were women. When all kegs were in car my mum looked angry and disappointed. She asked why I was so mean. I said I was sleeping and now I won't fall asleep again and I am gonna be tired the rest of a day. Then she said her friends have something with their arms. That they can't carry heavy kegs. I didn't know that and I stayed silent after that. She then continued talking about how it was mean what I said but then I repplied: ""But they said mean things to me too!"" They literally mocked men and my sleep. What else they expected I would do after that? She said that I have to sleep at night and not during a day ... I don't get it. I am not early bird. I am a night owl. And whenever my mum wants to take a nap I let her sleep and try to be as quiet as possible. Doesn't matter when or where. When you are sleepy, you should sleep. It's that easy!Then my mum said she will drive a car and off-load kegs alone and won't need my help anymore even when I offered my help. Then she went to her job and she will gonna be home soon. I think the fault was on both sides. I was too angry and didn't contol myself and they mocked men and my sleep ... I didn't want to do anything bad or hurt someone.",AITA for being angry?,YTA
10uuwyn,"AITA for not doing the dishes?So on Monday I was hospitalized for a migrane. I'm okay now, at the time my doctor thought it was a stroke as I couldn't speak or walk properly.For the past week I've been out of school and resting, spending most of the day in my room. But on Friday I was started in my new med, which has some pretty gnarly side effects which made my already bad balance and dizziness, worse.So now I can't go more than 10 steps or seconds unassisted or without a cane. After I finished my dinner I got up and put my plate in the sink and sat back down at the table. My sister asked me if I was going to do the dishes and I said no, because you know, I can't go without my cane for long enough to do it, and she got mad, neither of my parents would do them so that left my sister. I feel bad for making her do them, so, AITA?",AITA for not doing the dishes?,NTA
10urul9,"So background I drive semi's after 10 yrs in army was raised to be honest. I'm otr so me and gf wanted to have early Valentines day sinner at hibachi restaurant and this happened.  I had been waiting in line for 10 minutes to get to the frozen bar to pick my food for the chef to cook when out of nowhere the lady behind me suddenly goes. ""Excuse me, if you are by yourself, can me and my husband get in front of you? We are hungry?"" I look at her and say. ""OH you're hungry well wouldn't you know it so am I, and I think just about everyone infront and behind us are as well you and your husband have two plates each I have my plate for just me so to answer your question no I won't be letting you get infront of me sorry you'll have to wait like everyone else.""    She responded to that. ""Well, what if I am pregnant eating for two people, wouldn't you feel bad not letting me at least go ahead?"" (This lady was like stick thin if she was pregnant you'd know immediately) I made the most concerned face I could muster and said. ""OH well, in that case, I could let you at least, but mam, you are so skinny if you were even two days pregnant. Someone on Mars would be able to tell. And since you aren't, my answer is still no. I won't be letting you in front of me.""  She started yelling and everything even her husband knew I wasn't going to budge on it and the chef cooking was trying his best to keep a straight face the manager came from back and told her to leave she refused at first but finally she left her husband apologized to everyone about it and said she's not pregnant but usually people will let her by when she says it. I told him, ""Don't worry, it made me laugh because I was struggling not to just laugh in her face.""Am I the asshole for this or not. The whole time till she started yelling she had the holier-than-thou attitude and tone to her voice. Also I am naturally sarcastic and adhd my mouth will respond sometimes before my brain finishes thinking.",AITA for making a lady be told to leave restaurant,NTA
10timnr,"My 6 year old daughter takes MMA and Judo classes at a local dojo. We like the dojo a lot, except the woman (let’s call her Megan) at the front desk has gotten a bit…unhinged. I believe she is married to the owner but I’m not 100% sure. I have always allowed my daughter to choose how much she wants to bundle up when it’s cold. She’s very cold tolerant and complains that coats and even hoodies make her too hot in the winter, so most days she wears t shirts. We live in the southwest so it only dips to 40 degrees or so, not too bad. Megan has made it her mission to make sure all the kids at the dojo wear winter coats. For the last month, when she sees my daughter or any other kid not wearing a coat, she nags them to start bringing and wearing their coat. I’ve blown it off because it’s just another nosy old lady telling kids they need to bundle up, it’s whatever. Last week she flipped out on all the kids and yelled at the entire class that she’s been asking for weeks for kids to wear their coats. I mean YELLED. Then she made a big show of giving out prizes to the kids who did wear them. I’m furious over this for so many reasons:1. Completely inappropriate to yell at children like that. My kid cried the entire way home because she thought she was going to get kicked out of the dojo. 2. I believe in teaching my children to listen to their own bodies, not what other people say their bodies *should* feel. 3. Most importantly, I’m pissed that she is overriding my authority as the parent. I believe that sets kids up to believe other people - including predators - can override me and tell her what to do. I talked to some other parents in the class and they think I’m overreacting, that she means well and is actually helping them out in getting their kids to put on a coat without complaining. WIBTA if I said something? I’ve decided we aren’t following her rule, and if she says anything, I’m going to let her know exactly what I think.",WIBTA if I told this woman to knock it off?,NTA
10uiqsa,"My family are choosing to go on vacation in April, and my exams start in May. I said I didn’t want to go because I wanted to focus on my exams as I need quite high grades to get into the university I want. They said they’re only going for a week and I can spend the rest of the break working instead. Usually I would agree but they’re not going far away and these exams are really important to me. My parents ended up saying I was ungrateful as they were offering me a vacation which a lot of people don’t have the opportunity to do. As grateful as I am for the offer, we’ve been on vacations in the past and I’ve loved them but my exams are more important to me. They said they also didn’t trust me to be alone in the house for a week, so if I didn’t join them, they (my mum, dad, and two siblings) would be denied a vacation that they want.I understand their concern but I’m capable of looking after myself for a week and the quiet would actually help my studying (there’s usually four other people in the house).I don’t think I’m being selfish or ungrateful but I don’t know.AITA?Edit for INFO: 17(F), they don’t trust me alone for the week as they’re worried I’ll host a party and cause damage as I attend quite a few, but I’ve never had one at my house and never gone behind their back either. I live in the UK so we have a 2 week break in April right before exams start. I’m a major procrastinator and the only way I’ve found that is best for me to study is at home in a particular set up, as well as all of my textbooks etc being too heavy to be able to bring on the flight without paying extra.",AITA For refusing to go on vacation with my family during exam time?,NTA
10urk0y,"I had gotten a text last night about 9:30 pm. This was the first time I heard of anything from my brother (24) and mom (dementia) about doing laundry until the last minute which was 9 pm. As a grown adult with my own responsibilities and things I would like to do on the weekends. I was not home since Friday after I got off work. I was 7 hours away. My plan was not to be home at least until 5 or 6pm in the evening. I had replied to it with a lengthy message about the only time I do get to myself is on the weekends to do anything because work has me on 12 hours, 5 days a week. I wanted to take a weekend to myself and don't have any real reason to tell anyone what I am doing because that's what you can do as an adult. My youngest brother has had a place to always live, handouts - like my mom giving him whatever he wants to eat or drink while also paying for only his phone bill, xbox platinum and the cigarettes he smokes (and i question if he is actually buying them). Regardless, I shouldn't have to do my grown adult brother's laundry like he is a kid. I believe if you are an adult, you should be taking care of your own responsibilities. But am I the asshole for telling him to do his own laundry, get his license, and go and get a real job?",AITA: Am I The Asshole,INFO
10ufov1,"I don’t like it when most people fuss over me so when my sister-in-law asked me if I needed anything I said no and that I was fine. The only person I’m okay with fussing over me is my husband so when he asked me 20 minutes later if I was okay and if I wanted something to eat or drink, I asked him if he could make me a cup of tea.After he left the room to make me tea, my sister-in-law asked me why I hadn’t asked her and said I was making it look like they weren’t looking after me like my husband asked them to. I offered to tell him that they were looking after me but my sister-in-law is still angry with me for not asking her for tea instead.I honestly didn’t think this would be a big deal and as far as I know my husband hasn’t said anything to his sister or the rest of my in-laws about it. Her continuing to be angry with me is making me wonder if I’m the asshole, though?",AITA for asking my husband to make me a cup of tea 20 minutes after I told my sister-in-law I didn’t need anything?,NTA
10taopr,"Backstory:My parents got divorced when I was around 11. Around the same time my mom was in a car accident and had won a fairly large settlement on top of my grandpa passing away right in the middle of it. So she was left with a fairly large chunk of money.During their divorce, my mom constantly kept me and my siblings in the loop of everything and made my dad look like the villain in the situation despite my mom cheating being the reason for the separation. And when you’re young, you want to believe your parents have your best interests in heart. My dad paid over $300 weekly in child support for my siblings and I, and when I decided at 20 I wanted to move in with my dad she stopped talking to me for a while since she would fully lose all child support.Part of the divorce agreement was that my dad would not ask for any of the money from the settlement as long as $40,000 of it went into a college fund for me, since at the time my siblings had no interest to pursue college. Everything was arranged, the divorce papers were signed, and my mom gloated about how much money I would have for school. And on top of that my siblings and I had $10,000 each as an inheritance from my grandfathers will for us to use when we turned 18.A few years later she had fully renovated my grandfathers house that we moved into, we had a new car, went on a 7 night Disney cruise followed by a stay at a Deluxe Disney hotel. We were fairly happy, and I was a sophomore in high school excited to start looking at colleges, when my mom informed me she spent my entire college fund and inheritance on everything above.I. Was. Floored.The first thing I had done was tell my dad, who became so angry he immediately contacted his own lawyer and take my mom back to court to figure out a way to make that money back. At this point, we lived paycheck to paycheck and heavily relied on the child support to afford living.So she was served the court papers and they went in front of a judge, where my mom was given a slap on the wrist since it was determined she didn’t make enough money to pay back the $40,000 college fund.Throughout my entire childhood my mom was emotionally abusive towards me and my siblings. She manipulated us to be at each other’s throats constantly and was very narcissistic. She continued to get worse during my childhood and my anxiety and depression was crippling. It took moving to a different state to realize how harmful she was in my childhood and to see clearly how much she messed me up, and I went no contact almost a year ago.My dad is about to retire and made it known to me that according to his divorce agreement my mom gets a good chunk of his pension, which got my gears turning.Would I be able to take my mom to court over the college fund again, but this time to try to use his pension to replenish my funds? Even if that means I’m screwing my mom out of $1,000+ a month for my dads work.",WIBTA If I sued my mom over my stolen college fund?,NTA
10tlmql,"I (24F) recently got a corporate job at a very prestigious company. I worked very hard to get where I am now, and I'm very proud of myself to be honest.My boyfriend of 3 years (I'll name him James - 28M) is my boss' ( Let's call her Nora - 36F) cousin (he has a completely different line of work). I haven't seen Nora outside of work much (Even at work, I don't see her a lot because she is at the very top of the hierarchy and I don't have a lot of work that directly needs her attention - but everyone agrees that she is an awesome boss). That changed when James' uncle (Nora's dad) invited the whole family including James and I over to his house for dinner. Notably, James doesn't like Nora for reasons I don't understand.Obviously, Nora, her wife and kids were there as well. She didn't make a big deal out of being my boss and I felt super comfortable in the family environment. Everyone was initially very sweet. Over dinner, James' dad asked me how hard Nora was on us at the company. He said he'd heard about how she made everyone work overtime and was horrible to be around.Nora is exactly the opposite of that. I don't have a lot of experience but she is the kindest, most inspiring boss one could wish for. She works double all of her employees and never makes anyone feel like they're being taken advantage of. She appreciates everyone's efforts and that's why everyone at work is actually happy to work overtime and help her with stuff. I told James' dad exactly all this. He didn't like the answer but I could tell Nora and her wife were loving it. And I added that despite not having a lot of experience, I was more than happy to work in the same company as Nora did. The conversation ended there. I thought that was the end of the story.On the way back, James asked me what the actual F was going on because I totally humiliated his dad in front of the whole family. He said his dad liked teasing Nora and it wasn't personal and I should have just avoided the question and ignored that.I said I honestly don't get how I humiliated him. James hasn't talked to me ever since and thinks I owe his dad an apology. I asked me colleagues and they all agrees that it was absolutely ridiculous to criticise Nora as a boss like that in the first place. James and his family clearly disagree.AITA?",AITA for defending my boss in front of her family?,NTA
10uyxbn,"My last post of the night, I've become addicted to the clarity others are giving me and the release I get when letting this all out.The title is very much the entire story and it sounds crazy but I promise it's true. My one of my hall mates was trying to get the same single room I was gunning for (we have had legitimate reasons and unfortunately we're both unsuccessful). As we were both checking out the room I casually asked him why he wanted it and he legit told me with a straight face that his friends kept kicking him out of his room to have orgies. I laughed. I couldn't help myself and to be honest I didn't even think he was being serious but then I could see on his face that he was upset and he left the room almost immediately. About 10 minutes later I go up to his room to apologise and he said that he wouldn't forgive me and that i was being insensitive by laughing. I told him he didn't have to forgive me and that i once again apologised for what i did, that i never meant to be insensitive and I was sorry for upsetting him. he then said that i was an awful person and this was the reason i had no friends. this stung a bit but i just told him that i have said what i have come here to say and proceeded to walk away. he then steps out of the room and shouts at me down the corridor saying all kinds of things about me. i don't even say anything. I was too bewildered. With these three posts I made tonight, i understand that I might have very well been an AH in each one but with this one I genuinely believe I rectified it in the best way I could and there was no one around for either conversation (although anyone in their rooms could have heard the shouting) so it's not like i caused him to embarrass himself or anything. All my friends maintain that I was not the AH except for one who said that what I did was horrible and I had no right to think a simple apology would make things better. So AITA?edit: i got a little post-happy and some of my grammar was off",AITA for laughing at my friends misfortune,NTA
10uhlzm,"Rewind to September 2022, I had told my family that I was planning on going on a 1 month trip with my 2 friends for the month of January 2023.At the time I was feeling very lonely and was also planning to move out of my family’s house for the month of February 2023. It just so happened that a friend of a friend had puppies otw so I decided to get one (husky to be exact).However I knew this would impose problems with my trip so I asked my mom if it was okay. I had only paid a deposit at the time and if she was against the idea of it I would regain my deposit and wait until I moved out to get a dog.She said it was fine and that she would be more than happy to watch over my puppy for me while I was away.Two days after putting a deposit, she tells me that she wanted to get a puppy too from the same exact litter… I was like okay? but it’s gonna A LOT of work but she seemed adamant on getting it regardless.This bothered me because I felt like she was just copying me, which she does for literally everything I do. I buy a house she wants to buy a house, I go back to school in computer science and she applies to school for computer science, I get a puppy… well you know the rest.Fast forward to my return from my trip and I feel like although she did take care of him, she kind of also neglected him in a way. She also boasts about what her dog can do and I find it confusing because now her dog seems really well trained while my pup is way behind compared to his brother. I know it was a lot of work but still I can’t help but feel like my dog was caged up for most of the time that I was gone.She says that he’s behind because I trained him differently than she did before I left but honestly he was very obedient before I left.Also the cage was left in our basement where it’s VERY cold sometimes and it goes in the negative Celsius because of the poor isolation. The other dogs cage is upstairs where it’s nice and warm and right beside her room.I wasn’t expecting my mom to literally train my dog for me at all, it’s more of the neglect that’s bothering me. I know she was doing me a favour but honestly I can’t help but feel frustrated.I expressed my frustration and now she’s giving me the cold shoulder. She won’t talk to me because I told I felt like my pup was neglected. He follows his commands well for sure but it’s just certain areas that he lacks in while her puppy is basically almost a trained service dog at this point.",AITA I feel like my mom neglected my dog while I was on a trip,YTA
10uywc0,"In my opinion i did a diplomatic thing but i would like to hear what other people think because I think I might be in the wrong for doing this.We made a stop at the food shop , my Mum asked me and my brother what we wanted but it had to be healthy , I said I wanted a chicken and lettuce rap , she accepted that   my brother said he wanted a mince pie(we're australian) , she declined. I tried reasoning with her and said ""pies are not that unhealthy , its just meat and pastry"" , which yes , I know it was none of my business but I thought mum was being unreasonable. Mum called my brother saying if he wanted a sausage roll , me and my brother were both flabbergasted because its just as healthy as a meat pie. My brother declined. I ran out of the car into the shop to convince my mum to get him a pie , she declined because apparently Henry was ""being rude"" and wasn't obeying her rules. I ran back to the car , my brother told me he wanted the sausage roll , I ran back to the shop and told mum he wanted the sausage roll , she got him the sausage roll but yelled at him and me when the got back in the car. I dont understand my mums logic but I'd quite like to , can somebody please explain and tell me if I'm in the wrong? Cheers.",AITA for convincing my mum to get my brother a sausage roll,NTA
10uyuz3,"My boyfriend was watching Shameless by himself for 4 seasons of the show. I joined him occasionally in watching the show but really got hooked. We are long distance and both work full-time. Sometimes we watch TV for 30 minutes at night together, and we started watching the show together at some point. So we were on the same episode, and my boyfriend wanted to be loyal and stopped watching the show without me. I continued watching it on my own, and now he thinks I’m TA. So people of Reddit, AITA?",AITA for watching TV without my boyfriend,YTA
10tuukg,"My (15f) half brother (16m) is half white and we go to a predominantly black school, so everyone makes jokes about it. For example, like someone told him that black history month ends for him on the 14th because he’s only half black. Another time when the teacher asked who was the only person in the room that would’ve been able to vote in the early 1800s and everyone said my brother’s name, but my teacher was actually referring to himself. That’s only two examples but it happens frequently. He’s not getting bullied or anything, he has alot friends. He’s a class clown, so he makes jokes about other people too. Yes I do laugh at the jokes about him because a lot of them are funny, and he even laughs at them himself. Yesterday in class someone made another joke. When we got home my brother was mad at me for laughing, and he said Im a bad sister for laughing when they say stuff like that. He said he doesn’t find them funny and a lot of jokes hurt his feelings and make him feel excluded. They’re just jokes that he even laughs at, but how I’m I supposed to know that they hurt his feelings when he laughs too. AITA?",AITA for laughing when people joke about my brother being half white,YTA
10tkccg,"So my BF has been living in my condo for about 2.5-3 years on/off.My BF has only been helping me consistently with bills for about the last 6 months.The previous 2.5 years he'd help financially sporadically, like maybe a couple times a year.I'm appreciative of his help around the house but I told him I need more help financially.I do the bulk of the grocery shopping.He cooks mostly ready made and frozen meals.We split cooking weekly, I've offered to teach him how to make things he enjoys when I cook and he says he like it better when I make them.It's about effort and I feel like he doesn't put much in.I want someone to cook me homemade meals like I do for him which is why I offered to teach him.He drives my car.He recently left his full time job to work 2 part-time gigs.He wants me to sell my condo so we can buy a house together.I told him I wasn't comfortable buying a house with someone who cannot afford to contribute consistently.He said I wasn't being fair and that I know that he will help out.I have always felt guilty because he's a good partner in other ways.I'm in my last year of grad school and am ready to travel and enjoy life.When I tell him my plans of traveling after graduation he says he wants to come along.But he isn't financially stable enough to do that. If he pays for a weekend getaway then he's not able to contribute to our normal monthly bills. My utility&mortgage bills are about $2000/mth he pays $400-500. I've tried to explain to him but he says all I care about is money and that I'm putting him down.I have always worked and paid my bills even when I was previously married.I have a stable career and retirement plan.Until he can be financially independent and stable I don't feel comfortable moving forward in our relationship. AITA?",AITA for not selling my condo,NTA
10uj9t2,"Recently I’ve been feeling a lot more negative, I have been having a lack of patience with people and things and have had a tough time with work feeling overburdened and overwhelmed with information. This all sounds very much like cry me a river.In the car, on our way home, I was being told I don’t do anything with my friends and if I’m not careful I’ll lose them. I told them how I’m tired and just happy doing what I do. They proceeded to carry on saying how I should be doing things and how I’m wasting my life, not going to the pub or meeting up with them elsewhere. I have other friends who don’t even go out unless it’s a birthday… this is a common occurrence the persistent dialogue that I don’t go out. Then I snapped. I shouted and said how I am happy doing what I do, if my friends what to sit in a pub, that’s fine, if my parents want to sit in a cafe all day, that’s fine, and if my girlfriend wants to go out and shop that’s fine, but we are all going to die eventually and that it doesn’t matter what we do, as that’s what happens in the end. So, let me do what I want to do and if I decide to go out, I will. Now my dad asked me if I am done going off on one and my girlfriend called me pessimistic. I don’t want to be viewed or be pessimistic and need to know how to change that how can I rewire my brain if this is how I’m being but also AITA here?",AITA for blowing my top at my family and Gf,NTA
10uovm6,"I (35M) and my partner (37M) do not have major arguments or disagreements but this incident yesterday is re-occurring and has been going on for years. First thing after eating my breakfast I was washing the dishes I dirtied when partner came over and went to dump his glass into the overflowing part of the sink that had probably a week and a half or two weeks worth of his dishes stacked up.Made a comment that he should probably wash those as some had been there for over a week now. He tried to argue it has not been until I pointed out a storage container that had remains from something I made almost two weeks prior. Annoyed, he said that there wouldn't be so many dirty dishes if I didn't stick the leftovers in those containers and since I put them in those containers initially they're ""my"" dishes to wash because he never puts them in those. Note that in almost ten years together, I can count on both hands the amount of times he's actually cooked food.Something finally came undone in me and instead of getting angry I looked at him and said going forward there will be no issues with him and these dishes from him eating leftovers. He asked what I meant by that and I said going forward when we go for groceries I will focus on my groceries to make my own meals and he can focus on his. He laughed it off thinking I was joking.Later on at the store, I went out of my way to buy things that I knew he would not eat due to his very picky eating habits (No red meat, no fish,  no dairy except some type of cheese that I do not care for, etc). Instead of getting chicken, I got steak. Instead of ground turkey, I got ground beef. For the stir fry I usually make, I got beef broth to flavor it with.He noticed immediately at the start of the trip when I grabbed the ground beef and he made a comment that I grabbed the wrong pack. I replied I did not and I am getting it for my meals I'm making for the week - told him he's more than welcome to get his own turkey. He scoffed and immediately started furiously texting someone.He got two small items the entire trip and didn't say a word. We were supposed to go meet some mutual friends for lunch that he had set up a date for but he ended up canceling and has only said a handful of words to me since yesterday. Our mutual friend sent me a text and asked why I was being such a dick, implying that since I know he is working a ""new"" job where he is not making as much money and probably cannot afford groceries on his own. I didn't really think about this because he can afford his half every other time, but now he cannot when I tell him he'll have to buy and prepare his own food?I thought it was reasonable reaction but the fact partner is still calling me an asshole to mutual friends and the one sending me messages are making me feel like maybe I it's not.AITA?",AITA for only buying and cooking food that I will eat at home after an argument over basic chores?,NTA
10uyo30,This made me upset and anxious and apparently that is an issue. Is it wrong of me too expect too be talked about especially if they’re talking about family and kids I know myself I’m super proud of my partner and would be telling almost everyone I met about my family and partner not just my kids.,AITA Partner started a new job today and has told new boss and all co workers about herself and her kids but when I asked if id been mentioned or having a partner I was told that no one had asked that and that talking about my kids is important but talking about a partner isn’t.,NTA
10umx0s,"repost since I made too many errors the first time.I’ll spare all the nitty gritty, but I live with two girls, we’ll call them maria and kate.Maria, I hate. She’s filthy. For context, I regularly clean her pee, pubes, and period blood and she left her cat shit on the KITCHEN FLOOR for 3 MONTHS. (There’s too much more).kate is (was) one of my best friends. maria stopped talking to me a while ago (whatever, don’t really like her) but neither maria or kate do any communal chores, so I text every garbage day “hey could someone take out the trash?” (normally resulting in me just doing it).This happened again 2 trash days ago (10 days). I sent the text to the group then texted kate privately since she was about to walk out the door past the garbage.“Hey, if maria doesn’t take out the trash do you mind doing it? I feel like I constantly ask people to help and they say they will but just don’t and it’s getting old.”kate: “dude i was literally in (hometown) last weekend, but yeah”kate had left for home again but I was feeling bothered about the interaction so I texted her that essentially, I wasn’t trying to be rude I’m just asking for help and that if she felt offended about that statement then maybe she should reflect on it since I wasn’t trying to inherently single her out in a malicious way, just let her know that I feel there are some issues with the communal chores being done equally (and that I wouldn’t be comfortable texting this to maria, she wouldn’t respond anyway). I also let her know that I love her, that i’m not trying to be mean, i’m not mad, and that I hope she gets home safe.Also, this is something I would’ve and have said to her face if she wasn’t driving. We’ve had these conversations before and it’s been fine. as I said, BFF.anyway, kate hasn’t talked to me in 10 days. they’ve been avoiding me at all costs, scoffing and shaking their heads when I walk past, and whispering outside my door. it just hurts.thanks guys.tldr: I asked my roommate to take out the trash and when she responded w attitude (for lack of better word) i told her to reflect on her actions. did I take it too far? is this ridiculous?",AITA for asking roommate to take out trash?,NTA
10uc3u4,"Me (24F) my mother (56F) and my sister (26F) are going on a weekend trip to Dublin soon. We'll be gone Thursday to Sunday are we're mostly going there to visit the grave and pay our respects to a family friend that unfortunately passed away during lockdown. We're traveling from another country in Europe.Our mother has very generously offered to pay for the flight itself, but we're splitting everything else. I'm a little picky about hotels, so I offered to look around and make some suggestions. They said great and just asked that breakfast would be included. I quickly discovered that hotels in central Dublin were a little extra expensive the weekend we're going, don't know why but it doesn't matter since the flights are already booked. A lot of hotels were around 2 000 € for three people and three nights, which I knew was way too expensive. I found one where rooms for three people with separate beds cost about 1 400 € for the entire stay, in total. Breakfast was included, it was close to the city center and judging by the pictures I felt that I'd be more than comfortable. I didn't think that around 450 € each was crazy.Our mother thought it was great and told me to book it. My sister, however, thought it was too expensive. She has a other things planned with her friends this spring and didn't want to spend a lot on this. But even though I asked repeatedly, she didn't make any suggestions for hotels herself. A week went by and I got frustrated since I want to make sure we have someplace to stay. I told her that if she, or she and my mom, didn't want to pay that much then I could book a hotel for myself and she could book a cheaper one for her, but that I wasn't willing to compromise on my sense of safety and comfort. It'd put a damper on the entire trip. She didn't respond.I double checked with my mom who, again, told me to book it. So I did. Now my sister angry with me. She feels she was left out of the desicion and that we, I mostly, weren't considerate of her finances. She thinks we should cancel our reservation and pick something else, but now that it's done I simply don't want to. The booking was made in my name.AITA?",AITA for refusing to book a cheaper hotel room?,NTA
10ums2j,"AITA So my mom and I were doing our things, I had previously complained of the coffee that I had drunk was making me jittery and anxious.  Mom decides to pick up the plates after eating lunch, and in the process, picks up my cold mug of coffee. I asked her to please bring back my coffee mug. She asked why. I told her that I needed my energy to work. She then brings back the mug of coffee stating that energy comes from food and not coffee. I was too stunned to say anything. Afterwards, I asked her to please do not repeat that phrase to me again. She complied stating that she would not say that again to me but that it was what she thought. That phrase did not help my anger and I proceeded to look at her angrily when she came into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong and I told her that I was still angry with her over the phrase “food provides energy, coffee doesn’t. She then told me that anyone could have told me that. She asked me if I was angry at her because she is my mom or something else. I told her it was because I had the energy to be angry at her because I had drunk coffee. She said she doesn’t believe me. I told her that it was the truth, that it wasn’t my problem if she didn’t believe me. She then told me to grow up.Edit: I have already apologized to my mother.",AITA mother daughter conflict,YTA
10tnrz7,"This is a very uncomfortable situation to be honest. I'll try my best to not exceed the word limit and be as brief as I can.I (34F) never had the best relationship with my mother. It was not great when I was a kid but I managed. It went downhill after I came out when I was 20 and told her I had a girlfriend. I went on to marry the said girlfriend (36F- she's now my wife of 11 years - and we have 3 kids) and eventually lost contact with my mom. My relationship with my siblings was better initially (I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters, all of them older). Now I married into a very comfortable family. I would help my siblings financially, emotionally and in any way I could. I later realized that they were exploiting me for monetary reasons and stopped that but didn't lose contact with them, only for the sake of being there for my nieces and nephews.My mother passed away earlier this year at the age of 67. She had many health issues. Her lawyer contacted me to let me know she had left me a part of her belongings and some assets. I don't come from an exceptionally wealthy family but my mom was not poor at all.Considering the relationship I had with my mom, I didn't feel comfortable taking the inheritance. I asked my wife and she said it was sweet of my mom to show this act of kindness even with the relationship we had and suggested maybe I could donate it to a charity doing research or providing health services for breast cancer patients in my mom's name (which is the disease my mom died from). I loved the idea and went on to officially do that.My siblings were outraged once they found out. My mother left them all assets (though a bit less than mine). They were very angry that while this money won't make much of a difference to me, it is something that could change their lives and they needed it much more than some charity.My nephews have even reached out to called me a selfish AH because their parents were hoping to send him and his siblings to college with the said money and now couldn't. Was I wrong to do this?",AITA for donating my inheritance to charity instead of giving it to my siblings?,NTA
10ug2wh,"Today my best friend got mad at me for not asking if she was okay after she fell down the stairs. She texted that she fell down the stairs in a groupchat and I clicked on the chat but didn’t read it, because I had a guest over and I was concentrated on them. Later in PM’s when I told her about something exciting happening to me soon, she said that she wanted a change of subject and began telling me about how I was a bad friend for not asking her how she was doing after the fall. I was confused and looked in the GC to find what she was talking about. She was mad that the other friend in the GC had asked if she was okay, but her supposed best friend (aka me) didn’t ask. I asked her that since the other friend had already asked if she was okay and she answered yes, should I have then asked for a second time if she was ok? She said that I should at least react and when she has had something happen before then I haven’t asked either if she was ok. I lashed out and said that her and my phone aren’t the only things that I have in my life. She said she understood but thought that for example a complete stranger would’ve been more concerned than me if she was in the ER. I told her that my doctor suspects autism and some people on the spectrum may have problems with empathy and if I saw her say that she was ok, then usually I don’t care any further. She named 3 situations where I didn’t ask her how she was doing, for example when her cat was dying, I asked how her cat was doing but not how she herself was doing. I told her I thought the cat situation was obviously hard for her and there was no need to ask. She asked to stop and end the conversation because it was going nowhere. It confuses me because I remember a lot of times where I have asked if she was doing alright and when she’s going through a rough patch I try my best to ask it frequently (even if I don’t care that much) because I know it’s important to them. I usually don’t ask anyone if they are ok, when it’s obvious they are not ok (I’ll still try my best to be supportive in other ways) or they have followed up with saying that they are ok. AITA here? Sorry if it’s hard to understand, english is my second language.",AITA for not having empathy for my friend in some situations?,NTA
10twne2,"I come from a developing country where women should cook, raise kids, and essentially do the domestic tasks. My parents raised me that way but I never believed it.  We were taught that men bring home the paycheck and women take care of the house. It's literally in our books for the 1st to 3rd grade (padre de pamilya/head of the family/Ikaw Ng tahanan/light for the house).Except I made 5 times my husband and in the last decade or so half of the women in my country started working. So both now bring home the paycheck.  Our country is the 4th country over all with more women in managerial positions than anywhere else at 59.36% but our belief system does not change that women should still carry both burden of house work and finances. I can proudly say I can hire someone to clean and cook for us the rest of the house chores and child raising are divided between me and my husband equally and our kids also have their own chores. I raised my daughters to look for a partner and not a husband. I raise them by giving them flowers, chocolates and presents that way if a guy ever ""courts"" them they are not blinded by material things and see a man for what he is.My daughter (16) has recently brought home a boy and is essentially, I know this makes me horrible to say but not ""house trained"". Leaves the dishes out for someone to clean after him, leaves his shoes on the floor. Leaves his messes lying around. Whenever he comes over I remind him of the rules of the house and recently asked him a couple of questions such as does he know how to do the laundry, does he know how to sweep the floors, does he know, how to clean or even cook. He said no to all this. His mother and sisters do this for him. I'm a firm believer that any boy that my daughter brings home to is a potential husband and has a potential to marry and be part of our family as such I want to ensure my future SIL is looking for a partner and not a maid, laundry lady, baby maker, nanny etc.On one particular Saturday I had my daughter and her boyfriend cook (our cook was on her day off). I supervised both of them, my daughter knew how to prepare the meat, cut, saute, boil, season etc and he was just mostly there handing her things. It took less than 20 minutes. We ate as normal, talked during the meal and nothing else.Later on I get a message request from my facebook account from his mother. I asked her what was wrong with that and she said I had the audacity to treat him like the help when he is treated as a prince in their house.... She said  a couple of other things but what struck me is her main objection was that her son was a guest in my house and shouldn't have cooked and he was taught to cook specifically as she was my daughter's boyfriend. 1) I think I may be the A because I gave cooking lessons without consent to a guest? 2) I don't think I'm the A because it didn't hurt my daughter's boyfriend by learning a life skill.",AITA for teaching a guest how to cook?,NTA
10ukq8z,"Academically, I’ve always done better than my younger sister. When we compare her grades to mine, it’s not even close. Not to say I’m like super amazing at everything academic, but I still do well. I try to make her feel proud when she does get good grades, convince her good grades aren’t everything, and help her with her subjects, but my parents have put a lot of emphasis over our grades in the past. That sort of pressure doesn’t go away easily; I know she’s insecure about it.She has always been way more immature than she should. She takes her anger out on our whole family. She’s almost 13 and she still has tantrums. For reference, I’m not an adult, but I am an older teenager. I try to be patient with her; my brother and I tend to get the attention, and I know it takes a toll.Recently, I was trying to sleep on the couch. Unprovoked, she keeps banging a pillow on my face. This is not uncommon. She has done worse before. But I was getting annoyed with the constant harassment, especially when she had been a total jerk last night. So I started targeting some sore spots for her. “At least I’m not in remedial classes,” “I wasn’t in these classes at your age,” etc. I know it probably hurt her. I feel really bad, but I was getting so fed up. She doesn’t hold back when insulting or harassing me, but when I do anything, she always loves to play the victim. AITA?Edit: she’s not actually in remedial classes. I was just referring to her tutoring for a HS-application test. She’s not bad at learning, she doesn’t need remedial classes. I was just pissed and called tutoring “remedial.”I apologized to her. I said that she doesn’t actually have remedial classes, and that I was sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. Thanks to all of you who provided good advice.",AITA for insulting my younger sister?,YTA
10u04bs,"So, my incredible wife Jenna, two weeks after having a C-section to deliver our son (our first child), had to have another surgery when her appendix almost ruptured. As stated by her doctor, Jenna needs to be doing more resting than mothering for the next few weeks.Before Jenna came home from the second time at the hospital last week, her sister, Kelly, offered to come into town for two weeks and help us around the house while Jenna recovered, as she was between jobs and her husband didn't mind. (Note: Jenna is the youngest of 4 siblings and Kelly is the eldest, and while the two were close at one point they grew apart when Jenna moved).This worked out because I would be able to work at my part time gig/ do other chores without leaving Jenna alone. We agreed, and the first couple of days were fine, Kelly helped with a lot of the housework with no signs of trouble between them. But last night when I got home Jenna said that Kelly had been bothering her whenever I wasn't around about being more active and being critical of Jenna's food choices (ex: telling Jenna to not be lazy and get up for \_\_\_\_, and then later asking her if she really needed to eat ice cream). This boiled to a head when Kelly told Jenna something along the lines of ""You are going to end up a single mother because you let yourself go"" because she didn’t want to go on a walk with Kelly.This comment made Jenna upset because it was an awful thing to say, also because she has an anxiety and eating disorder... So, it made her feel super shitty for no reason. I asked Jenna if she wanted me to talk to Kelly for her, to which she said she didn’t care.I wasn't planning to confront Kelly but while Jenna was sleeping, Kelly asked me if she was still sulking. I said no, but that she was really upset. Kelly said she was only looking out for Jenna's health so that she can recover from the surgeries faster. When I mentioned the ""single mother"" comment she laughed, said it was a joke and called Jenna overly sensitive and hormonal for being mad about that. She showed no remorse.My exact response was ""You should really leave tomorrow"" I didn't say anything else; I didn't walk up to Kelly; I didn't even look at her. She asked me if I was threatening her, to which I said that I wasn’t but that her help isn’t worth making Jenna feel worse while already she’s vulnerable.Kelly ended up leaving today after telling Jenna that I'm manipulating her and not to trust me, that she's sorry about what she said but it was just a joke. She also reached out to their family and told them that I threatened her over a joke and manipulated Jenna, she also said that we were both incredibly rude and ungrateful. I feel like that isn’t at all accurate and that I was just putting my foot down for the sake of my wife’s wellbeing.","AITA for kicking my sister-in-law out over a joke, amongst other things?",NTA
10uqafu,"I just lit my husband up on not helping me when I woke up with a nasty cold this morning. He has a TBI to be fair, and he still works full time, but we’ve been married for four years and I’ve had this fight with him a million times where if I’m ill/having pms then I’d appreciate him picking up the slack a little on chores and taking care of our daughter. When he’s sick he’s insufferable, I put on my nurse hat while still handling everything around the house and the kid. When I feel incapacitated it’s like he’s just sitting on the couch playing video games waiting for me to feel better. I want to be babied sometimes too, like damn",AITA for being mad or is it even his fault?,NTA
10uy1dm,"My grandma has 6 dogs. Not one of the dogs is trained in any way. They all poop/pee in the house. My grandma is generally a clean person except for one thing. When the dogs go on the floor, she just picks up the poop/pee. She doesn't deep clean where the feces was. Maybe she does it after I leave, but based on how nonchalant she is about it, i don't think so. I have a dog at my own house, and if there is an accident, i really scrub the area thoroughly.I am watching these dogs for the next two weeks. On the very first day i got here, there were 3 piles of poop and wiped 4 piles of pee. The free roaming dogs had peed on the caged one.The dogs have to be closely monitored while outside otherwise they won't go. I also have to follow them with poop scoopers because they all eat poop if i am not quick enough. Then they jump all over me and lick me with their poopy mouths. One of them managed to sneak a frozen turd that i missed inside and crunched on it like a nice crispy treat. I chased her around, but i couldn't get it in time. she ate the whole thing. Then, when i went to bed, she puked up the entire turd on me, intact. The last time i watched them, one of them peed on me in the middle of the night.I never get more than 3 hours of sleep at a time  because they wake me up to let them out, usually 3 times a night and they still poop everywhere. During the day they are let out every 1.5 hours and they still poo inside. I can't leave the house for more than 4 hours at a time, or i return to a literal shit show. Luckily, i do a hybrid work from home job so its not a huge issue. I only get paid $20 a day to watch these dogs. Someone told me that my grandma would be paying over $1000 for a professional sitter and i should charge way more. If i charged how much it would take me to watch these dogs for a stranger, there is no amount of money. I wouldn't do it. I only do it to help my grandma.  She can't afford to pay more.I was telling my sister about this and she said i must spend hours cleaning everyday. i told her that i didn't clean up at all besides to pick the poop off the ground and leave shoes on at all times. I explained that our grandma didn't do more than that. The dogs poop constantly, and one licks the entire couch after eating poop. Several of the dogs are wrinkly breeds like char pei and bull dogs and need their wrinkles cleaned, but it has never been done, saying they dont need it. So they always smell. One of them is always wiping snot on everything. I don't mean a little, i mean, i got slimed like i was in ghost busters and had to change my pants. My sister said i was an asshole to not clean throughly and i kind of agree that i shoudl clean better, its how i would want my house to be treated but i don't see a point with how gross all these dogs are and the fact that my grandma does the same level of cleaning.Update: i posted this then went to bed. One of them pissed in the bed. Again.",AITA for refusing to fully clean up dog poop of dogs im babysitting?,NTA
10uxp1w,"When I was in high school I played in the orchestra and the bassoon player who was a friend of mine was gay. I personally didn't care about that at all, but I couldn't help but find it funny because a lot of the sheet music we had was in Italian or German. It just so happens that the word of bassoon in Italian is ""fagotto"" and in German it is ""fagott"" (and yes, both words mean exactly what they sound like), I assume it is because the instrument sort of resembles a bundle of sticks. My friends (the bassoon player included) all laughed about it at the time, but I can see how people today might see it as homophobic.",AITA for Laughing at the Fact that the Bassoon Player in my Orchestra was Gay,YTA
10uegy5,"So I'm a student in middle school and every time a teacher is walking my direction I greet them.A few days back I was suppose to go and get my brother's report card since he was sick to his head teacher. My mother informed her I'll be there even though I really didn't want to go there she made me since she wanted to see how well my brother did. This one teacher is known for being a pain in the butt but I don't have her on any subject so she doesn't know me and I don't know her that well.It was time to go there so I got my best friend as a moral support and we went there. We stud there for like a minute before she walked to us and asked why we were there she didn't say hello or anything and I was in panic so I didn't. As the one that needed to talk to her I said 'I'm here for (my brother's name) report card'. To this she told me that she knew I was coming and to wait there.After this my best friend walked of and I sat on a chair that was close to there.When she got back she walked past me like I wasn't there into her Cabinet so I decided to wait a little more.After like 10-15 minutes I got up and knocked because the break was about to end. Another teacher opened the door and pointed to a sign 'if the door is open after knocking go in'. I nodded to the teacher to greet him and also like I understand. When I went in I straight asked if the teacher already had the card. She said 'what cared I can't remember all the kids that come to me and also what is the first thing that you do when you come to a cabinet?' at that point I was a little annoyed but I can't be rude to her so I didn't show it. 'I don't know... Say hello?' 'Exactly. Now go try again.' I wanted to just tell her something that I would regret but I did as she told me to.I knocked went in 'hello, can you please give me (my brother's name) report card?' I said politely. After this she did gave me it but also made me apologize and have me scolding for being rude. In the middle of this some other kids walked inside and she made them leave. I was also boiling inside the whole time.Also for reference every time I greet her in the hallway she doesn't even bother to look at me and every time she hear me. Every other teacher at least noddes or smiles if they hear me witch is 99% of the time. So Am I the asshole?",AITA for not saying hello to a teacher?,NTA
10uif3x,"Okay so basically for background i am allergic to gluten, wheat and barley. Meaning that i can not eat most foods with flour like cake etc. I am grateful though that my family still manages to get me things that i can eat from the shop like biscuits etc. that are gluten free. However, its become a daily occurence (or i have really just realised now) that for my family's birthdays they get fast food or food i can't eat, eg.- for some reason they always get fried chicken and usually small fries on birthdays. Meaning that i cant really eat anything. So i complained to my parents, that maybe they could get me something i can eat, so i don't just watch them eat. and they called me ungrateful and a brat for asking for food like this. Even the birthday cake i cant eat as well. Also side note the fries they usually get for me but they end up eating it and asking me for it- anyways. and if i get annoyed they again call me ungrateful. So ive stopped asking for stuff like this, since i dont wanna make a scene or be rude but i am still upset that they all eat whilst i am just sitting there. So AITA?​SIDE NOTE- I should've mentioned that its only in these cases my family doesn't bother getting me similar things- they give me everything i need and care for me otherwise, I honestly think they don't realise what they are doing. Maybe i should talk to them about it again, but idk. ",AITA for asking for something to eat like everyone else?,NTA
10ujjd2,"AITA for flaking on plans due to a depressive episode?I had plans with friends to do a Christmas dinner and games day in December. We went out together the night before and when I woke up I felt hungover and very low. I wasn't in the mood to hang out and I know I should've texted them to let them know but I just couldn't bring myself to reach out and contact anyone with the headspace I was in. The day still went ahead without me and I know they had a good time. Afterwards I apologised and have tried numerous times since then to talk to them but they have been icing me out for over a month. I live with two of them and they don't speak to me in the house and will leave the room if I enter. I know I was an asshole in the first place to not explain my absence/how I was feeling but do I have a right to feel like what they're going is just as bad, if not worse? We're meeting up this weekend to discuss things and I don't know if I should just be apologetic and contrite or if I have the right to call out their subsequent behaviours too. Basically, I feel like it's kinda an ESH situation but would like to hear from objective outsiders if it's more YTA than not. My friends obviously think they are totally in the right.",AITA for flaking on plans due to a depressive episode?,YTA
10ux796,"So my boyfriend (20m)-i’ll call him jay- and I (20f) smoke cigarettes, vape, and the devils lettuce. My boyfriend smokes those 2 quite more than I do, which I don’t have a problem with. We feel like in a way vaping is worse than smoke cigs because you can sit inside all day and vape. Jay and I don’t smoke cigarettes in the house so we smoke outside and not as often as vaping. Anyways, tonight my boyfriend got home from a day trip and I went to smoke a cig. My pack of cigarettes are about half full. Jay and I got cigarettes the same day about 4 days ago. His pack is empty. Jay asked me for a cigarette and i said,“Maybe, you shouldn’t smoke so much.”His reply,“Well, I have to smoke more because I’m bigger.”I thought that was one of the stupidest things I’ve heard. I don’t think weight plays into how much you smoke. I said,“That doesn’t make sense. It’s a choice how much you smoke.”He said,“It’s like medicine. You smoke according to your body weight and how much you need.”This annoyed me because I take medicine for my borderline personality disorder and I don’t think you can compare cigarettes to medicine.I said,“You can’t compare it to medicine. Medicine usually helps you. Cigarettes don’t. All it is is just an addiction to nicotine.”Jay said,“Well people get addicted to pain killers and they need to take them.”At this point i’m irritated. He’s begging me to smoke.I said“Yeah people get addicted to pain killers, but you don’t need to take them. It’s just an addiction. You can either decide to smoke all of them or go without and you should go without”During this conversation i was smoking a cigarette. Jay said,“Then you should go without too. Put the cigarette out.”I said okay and put the cigarette out. I went to go take a dab like i do every night. I only smoke at night because when i get high it knocks me on my ass. As for my boyfriend he’s high most of the day.Jay saw me getting ready to take a dab and says“You should go without weed too. You don’t need it”I said okay and put the stuff down and got on my phone.Jay says“You’re just being petty at this point.”I said “Im not. I think you have a stupid excuse why you smoke so much and i don’t agree with your argument.”He sat down on the couch and pouted for awhile. So i threw him one of my cigs and he refused to smoke it. AITA? Maybe i was being petty, but his argument just didn’t make sense to me and irritated me.EDIT: sorry i didn’t make this clear. I know body weight has an impact on how smoking effects you. I don’t think weight affects how much you smoke. i think how bad your addiction to nicotine affects how much you smoke. but it’s also a choice how much you smoke.EDIT 2: i would also like to add i don’t ask him for his cigarettes. even when i’m out of cigs. i don’t like the kind he buys. he also did this when we were both vaping a lot. i would get disposable rechargeable vapes that would last me 2 weeks or so. he has a recharge and refillable one. he would always take my vape and rarely use his because he likes variety of flavors. i don’t use his vape either because i don’t like how it hits. he also still has his vape that he can use.",AITA for not giving my boyfriend a cigarette?,ESH
10uedj8,"I have endometriosis, adenomyosis and painful bladder syndrome so I spend every day in alot of pain. Most days are worse but I do have the occasional good day (I will still be in pain, it's just a bit more bearable). We have two dogs as we recently got a puppy (this is relevant to the story) My husband wanted the puppy but I said I'm unable to look after her because of my health so he agreed that he will look after her. My husband got a job a couple of months ago working 8pm - 8am, 3 days on 3 days off. When he is working I have to take both dogs out throughout the days and nights, I have to feed them and clean up after the puppy. I also have to do the washing up and cooking. I cook for him most evenings, when he is working, and if I am in too much pain too I will atleast start his food for him. Every movement hurts me and the simple tasks (such as cooking) can leave me in absolute agony and the nights he is working leave me so fatigued because I am over doing it. My husband is off work now and I got Chinese last night as I was in too much pain to cook. I'm currently curled up on the sofa, pretty much in tears due to pain. I asked my husband if he can just wash me a plate and a spoon so that I can eat, he didn't even need to cook but he said no with attitude. When I am curled up and crying from pain, he won't cook for me if he isn't having any food, he won't go to the shop for me if he doesn't need anything. If  we manage to go out to town (which will leave me in agony for atleast 2 days afterwards) he won't carry any of my bags if there isn't anything of his in them. Am I the asshole for expecting him to wash me a plate or atleast cook for me sometimes or wash up when I'm in absolute agony? Am I expecting too much from him?",AITA for expecting my husband to help.,NTA
10uornk,"TA accountI (M17) have a friend named “Jamal” (M17.) we have been friends since seventh grade, and are now seniors in high school. A few months ago, I started dating someone. A few weeks into our relationship, Jamal came came up to me during lunch and said he was my gf kiss another boy. I didn’t believe him and told him he was jealous that he could never get someone like mine and how he shouldn’t lie about people just because he has more money than them. He looked at me with confused expression just said wow and walked away. I later found out she was cheating on me and broke up with her. I was really hurt and wanted to talk to someone, but the only person I felt comfortable talking to was Jamal, but he hadn’t talked to me since I said that to him. I feel bad and want to apologize but I don’t think now is the right time because his birthday is soon and I don’t want to distract him with my problems. WIBTA for trying to talk to him,",WIBTA If I reached out to my friend?,YTA
10toc16,"My (30M) fiancé (let's call him Wade, fake name) proposed to me (27F) two years ago using a family heirloom ring from my family. For more detail, it belonged to my maternal grandmother and when she passed, my mum inherited it. It has always been a fact that she will give it to one of her daughters when we grow up. We also always assumed she will give it to my sister Mercy (28F). To be clear, it's not a super expensive ring or anything. Mum added a diamond to it but it costs around the same as the average engagement ring. This might be important to the story: Mercy is my half sister, same dad different mums. Her bio mum has never been in the picture but my mum has always made it clear we are both her daughters and she loves us both. She has also always treated Mercy well.Anyway when mum gave the ring to my now fiancé to propose to me, I was pleasantly surprised but also confused. But again, mum never said who she would give the ring to. Later I talked to mum about the ring and found out mum only gave my fiancé the ring because Mercy didn't think she would ever get married.I talked to Mercy later and she confirmed this. She felt strongly against marriage and with good cause which isn't relevant here.The issue now is that Mercy has been dating this nice guy let's call him Jake (35F). He is sweet, treats her like a queen and has a cute son. He has been putting it out there that he intends to propose and even asked for our parents' blessing. Now Mercy wants the ring back.My fiancé and I didn't have any problem giving it back right after our engagement and finding another one but it has come to mean so much to us. We have been planning our wedding with my late grandma in mind and grandma only had one ring, my current engagement ring, and it's like the final touch. Other details include remaking her wedding dress, using one of her necklaces, getting a wedding band that's a perfect match to pair with the engagement ring, etc. I told Mercy this and she said we can just design a ring that looks the same. One of her reasons is 'she isn't our mum's biological daughter so she should get this one privilege. She also thinks since mum intended to give her the ring anyway, so I should give it back to her.I still think she should not have said it was okay if it wasn't, and my fiancé agrees. However, Mercy is not speaking to me and my parents have different opinions on this. So will I be the asshole if I hold onto the ring?",WIBTA if I don't give my late grandmother's engagement ring to my sister?,NTA
10u8q9f,"My mom bought me some ice cream because I bought her flowers, and she had been seeing how stressed I was lately. My mom, her boyfriend, my brother and I were sitting and eating at the table. My mom had asked before dinner that she wanted to try some ice cream, so after dinner I put ice cream in a bowl for her and left the kitchen with some in a bowl for me as well. A few minutes later my mom comes into the room and asks me why I didn't put any ice cream for her boyfriend. I said that he didn't ask for any so I thought he didn't want any. My mom goes back in the kitchen and her boyfriend comes into the room and tells me that the ice cream is in the trash outside if I wanted it, then he goes upstairs and comes back minutes later telling me to get off of the couch because I was watching Netflix in front of the tv and that he was sick of having to go upstairs to his room to watch tv there. So I left into the kitchen and balled up on the floor. Then I heard my mom and him fighting. He called me some kind of princess and how the world revolved around me, and then he started talking about this little fight I had with my teen brother after dinner. He checked the freezer and I tried to stop him as like a joke, and he found the ice cream. I told him not to eat it all because my brother is a huge guy and he eats a lot. Huge not meaning plus size, huge meaning 7 foot tall buff high schooler. My brother got all angry and said he didn't want ice cream anymore as a joke, but I kept trying to give it to him. My brother asked what the flavours were and was disgusted anyway and said that he really didn't like those flavours. So anyway my mom's boyfriend goes on about how his kids don't ever fight like that and I'm a savage for not giving him ice cream, even though my brother said he hated those flavours anyway.Also I have ADHD and maybe I missed some kind of signal from my mom's boyfriend that maybe he wanted ice cream?I feel really guilty. Maybe I'm the asshole?",AITA for not giving mom's boyfriend ice cream?,NTA
10uisl0,"At this point, I don’t know if I’m just crazy or not. I (F/25) live with my boyfriend (M/28) and roommate (M/26). When my boyfriend and I decided to sign a lease with our roommate, who is a close friend to my boyfriend, he said that he wanted to grow up, and live in a nicer area of our city, so boyfriend and I were keeping our fingers crossed. Since moving in with him, it has been a nightmare. He spits and sneezes into blanket/hand towels (mostly mine, sometimes his own), also leaves snot and spit in the sinks. If he washes the dishes (rare occasion) he washes them by hand very poorly, then puts them back in the cabinets wet. He also hates flushing the toilet behind himself in the bathroom. I think that is gross, so I will mention it sometimes when I don’t hear him flush. I only grew up with sisters, as did my boyfriend, so we aren’t sure if that is typical dude behavior, or if he just needs to grow up. We each have mentioned it multiple time that it grosses us out, but that doesn’t seem to go anywhere. I’ve said that if he doesn’t want to flush then he can go outside to pee in the backyard (something they used to do often at my boyfriends old house), but he said our neighbors would probably see him.So Am I the Asshole for asking him to flush the toilet?",AITA for Telling my Roommate to flush the toilet?,NTA
10u8xff,"My Dad (56M) was ordering pizza on phone, he has a naturally very quiet voice, so, we ended up getting a vegetarian pizza when we ordered something completely different, at first, we just decided that we would eat it, after all, it was one pizza and just a harmless mistake.However, when we all sat down to eat it, my Mom (43F) kept on loudly complaining, saying to my Dad that the reason why we got the order was because of his quiet voice, berating him and not letting it go the entire time we ate. Meanwhile, my Dad was just sitting there in silence, looking clearly bothered but not saying anything. Eventually, I had enough of it, I just wanted to eat my pizza and piece and my Mom was making it very hard to do that. So, I loudly told her that she was being annoying.My Mom doesn't take well to criticism and my family is all under the belief that you have to respect your elders. So, she got very upset at this, she began to cry and say how rude I was to her. I know that this story sounds a bit silly, considering that this all stemmed from pizza, but, AITA?",AITA for calling my Mom annoying and making her cry,NTA
10uo1mz,"(Throwaway because he knows my Reddit.) My partner (25M) and I (25M) share a tiny apartment. I'm employed and am the primary breadwinner for the house; he is on benefits and spends most of the day on his computer. Usually, I'm the one who cooks, does laundry, and takes care of our pets. We recently agreed that he would take on more responsibilities and start helping around the house, starting with taking care of the laundry when it got full. Now I'm *very* ADHD, and I know that no matter how often I check my pockets, something always ends up in the hamper anyway. Sometimes that's my chapstick, meaning the clothes need to be spot-treated and rewashed afterward. When I do laundry, I dump out the hamper, sort clothes into lights and darks, and check all pockets (both of ours) as I go. My partner thinks this is ridiculous and throws the whole hamper into the washing machine. He claims it should be my responsibility to ensure my pockets are empty before they go into the hamper; I agreed with the caveat that we should be checking pockets and sorting laundry every time. We got into a big fight about this and I'm wondering if I'm being too picky/irresponsible here. Should I sort my clothes before he does the laundry? Note: I'm still usually the person who puts it away, even when he does it.",AITA for not ensuring my pockets are empty before putting my clothes in the hamper?,YTA
10teltn,"I (19yr/old F) have always been very close to my dads side of the family's grandparents. My grandparents and my dad and I have travelled across the country together and my dad and I visited at least once a week while growing up. My dad has an older brother and sister each with their own sets of children. I am my dads only child. In December 2022, my grandmother passed away from a very aggressive form of cancer. My dad and I were her primary caregivers throughout her final weeks of life as she wanted to pass at home. One day as I was sitting with my grandmother she gave me her wedding and engagement rings as a 19th birthday present. I was completely shocked but flattered to be gifted these rings. But, this gift upset my entire family as I was not the next in line to receive them. Shortly after her death, my grandfather received my grandmothers life insurance check. While eating dinner with my grandfather, he told me he has decided to use my grandmothers life insurance check to pay for my tuition and housing at college because that is what my grandmother would have wanted. My aunt (dads sister) is helping my grandfather manage all of his finances now that my grandmother has passed. When my grandfather told my aunt about his plans for the money, she was furious. My aunts daughter was next in line to receive the rings I was gifted. My aunt and her children rarely came around when my grandparents were healthy as they live 2 hrs away. I was ALWAYS at my grandparents house growing up. I feel like if I was gifted the rings and my grandfather willingly decided to pay for my tuition I have no reason to feel like the asshole, but I do. My entire extended family is upset with me. AITA? Should I give the rings to the next in line granddaughter? Selfishly, I want to keep the rings as my grandmother wanted me to have them but I also don't want to lose my family over them.EDITED TO ADD: I guess I used the words ""next in line"" out of context. My aunts daughter (my cousin) is the oldest granddaughter and was ""supposed"" to inherit the rings. My grandmother was completely coherent when she gave me the rings and asked me to take them off of her fingers and then she slipped them onto mine. It is one of my favorite memories of my grandmother now. I have decided to keep the rings and accept the life insurance / tuition money. Thank you everyone for your kind words and I hope this edit clears up any questions!",AITA for receiving my grandmothers wedding rings and a paid tuition?,NTA
10ujd61,"Whenever i find an interesting game, i would invite my friend.We like to play rank together but at some point i feel the need to take a break.He's very competitive in gaming and im not so he'd be left playing until he get 2 or 3 ranks higher than me.When i get the energy to play again, it's hard for me to keep up to the gameplay because most of the players we match are in the same rank to his.It spoils the game for me and it makes me feel like im really bad at it especially when we lose streak. I end up always quitting games because i cant enjoy it.He'd always invite me and i always make excuses because i dont want to play anymore.Sometimes i play only because i didnt want him to feel like i didnt want to hangout with him. Sometimes he'd sarcastically tell me how to play and it annoys me. I know how to play and im playing bad on purpose.I am not annoyed because i feel like he's better than me , in fact i even encourage him to join competitions, it's just i cant keep up and i want to work my way up on my own pace.I feel like i dont get the chance to play with people on the same tier rank than me like im being forced to deal with his tier. I already told him i dont feel confident playing  and he assures me that it doesnt matter too and it's just for fun but he's the only one having fun.i dont really want to think too much of it, i dont want to feel bad about it. games for me are supposed to be relaxing and fun not the reason to stress me out.So AITA for not wanting to play with my friend?",AITA for not wanting to play with my friend,NTA
10tsykb,"Did this on a throwaway for personal reasons, but figured I had to get this off my chest.I (22f) have a friend (23f) who is in a pretty rough situation here - she never does tell people the full story but she got laid off her job and has lost her home, long story short it's been tough shit for her.I did start letting her stay in the house with her two kids (5f neurodivergent), (4f neurotypical but very bratty) giving her access to food shelter etc. Only problem is, her kids are the most annoying entitled brats you could ever meet - you'd think surely they'd be more humble considering the situation?This one event however absolutely takes the fucking cake. I can't remember which one but one of these annoying kids treads on one of my best items of clothing and it rips. I get they are children and all but still Jesus Christ... I had to kick my friend out the house because of this, and, well, there you have it. I may have gone a bit overboard but idk.​AITA?EDIT: it wasn't an abrupt thing, i apologised but told them i needed them to leave given enough time",AITA for denying my friend access to my house?,NTA
10ucklm,Me (14f) and my two friends (13f) are in the same class. They usually don't have any of the supplies when it comes to art class so they asked to borrow mine. I let them borrow my paint the last few classes since I had burnt my hand with hot oil and wasn't able to draw or paint anything. My hand has now gotten better and i started packing my art supplies when i noticed that most of my paint has been ruined. Let me mention that as an artist I hate when things aren't perfect and love my art supplies more than anything. Anyways when i opened the bag with paint i noticed that half of the tubes weren't closed so they dried out and the other half was completely empty. I thought that it was only the smaller tubes of paint but then i noticed the acrylics that my parents bought me for Christmas were ruined as well. The caps were covered with paint and the tubes were almost impossible to clean. I had told them millions of times to leave the tubes clean and close them. I had also said that they weren't allowed to touch my new special acrylics since they were a gift from my parents. Of course I was furious and decided that I was never going to borrow any of my art supplies to anyone. I have art class tomorrow so I'm probably going to update you on my friends reactions. My family is saying that I'm overreacting but I don't think I am since I made it clear how much I love my paint and that they should keep clean and perfect just like I do. So AITA?,AITA for being mad that my friends ruined all of my paint?,NTA
10tf7z6,"My friend had gotten us tickets for a concert and said the ticket price was around $300 and asked if I was down which I said “I am down to pay that price and go with you.” Then she started asking if I really wanted to go and I kept saying yes. She then started insinuating that she’d rather go with someone else until a couple weeks ago she said “Honestly I think I’ll enjoy the concert more with another friend” so she uninvited me from the concert to go with another friend who is already going to the same concert with her just on another day. So I was uninvited which I was whatever about it, but now turns out her other friend flaked on her and can’t go to the concert with her anymore and now wants me to pay for the ticket! Which I refuse to do and now she’s mad cause she said I need to pay for it cause we decided on going and she only got the ticket cause I said I was down to go, but I was uninvited and she invited her other friend so shouldn’t her other friend pay for the ticket if she was the one who flaked.",AITA! Friend uninvited me from concert!,NTA
10uvokz,"I have a few friends who did not attend Duke but root for Duke's men's college basketball program. (I went to a rival ACC school.) I tend to riff almost endlessly about Duke, Coach K, Duke ""alum"" (i.e. the players who went to Duke for a year of basketball and then went to the NBA), Coach K some more, and their retired men's basketball coach who was well-known for [snarling,](https://s.yimg.com/os/en/blogs/sptusncaabexperts/COACH-K.jpg) [telling Zion Williamson that he doesn't coach losers](https://www.espn.com/video/clip/_/id/25984508), [refusing to punish Grayson Allen](https://www.foxsports.com/stories/college-basketball/what-a-joke-coach-k-ends-grayson-allens-indefinite-suspension-after-just-one-game) for [intentionally tripping opponents](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7cTs4zpI3CQ&ab_channel=Highlights101), and [using USA Basketball to help recruit students to Duke.](https://bleacherreport.com/articles/2203380-duke-basketball-how-much-do-coach-k-blue-devils-benefit-from-usa-basketball) I bring up Duke basketball in conversations unrelated to it just to make a fun dig and remind the Duke fans all about their storied team.AITA for inserting Duke basketball into random conversations just for the fun of it? Or am I doing a service to society-at-large by bringing ESPN's favorite men's college basketball program down a notch?",AITA for making endless jokes about Duke?,YTA
10uvnif,"About a week ago, a friend asked to keep her cats in my spare room for a couple hours while she moved. When she came back, presumably to pick them up, she told me the landlord didn’t show with the keys because he was stuck out of town on business for a few days. I said her and the cats could stay in the house until then, but I don’t think the cats and my dog would get along. The few days came and went without word from the would be landlord, so now they are staying until she can get into another place. I’ve lived alone in this small duplex for years, so this has very much thrown off my routine, but I want to help my friend. Today I had a day off after a very long week at work, and as I read a book on the couch as she stapled a chair she’s restoring in my living room one of the cats meowed, and she said “can I let them out while the dog is asleep in your room?” (Meaning we’ll shit him in there for a bit). I gave a sigh and said, “yeah, that’s fine”, to which she commented, obviously annoyed, that I made a face and she wouldn’t. She then put aside the chair, cleaned the debris that had been on the floor for two days, went in the spare room to grab a jacket, and left without saying a word. I feel bad that I upset her and I feel like I should have just cheerily allowed the cats out, I have nothing against them or cats in general, but it’s been a long week, and I’m not adjusting to losing my solitude well. So, Am I the Asshole?",AITA for being annoyed about a houseguests cats?,NTA
10ty316,"So I am a 36(F) and my male best mate is getting married a the end of the year. He has asked me to be a grooms women which I  was honored.Now recently it's been made clear that the bridesmaid, MOH, and myself need to pay our way. Which means we need to pay for our dress, hair and make up, our shoes and any alterations to our dresses that are required. On top of all that I also need to pay for my own transport to the wedding as I am apparently getting ready with the bridal party which are a 10min away from the groomsmen and the venue. After I calculated it all together im looking at roughy $1000. That's not including the hens party which is a wine tour and an over night stay.Need advice pleaseNow am I the arsehole if I decline to be aprt of this weddingI have spoken to my friend who seems pissed that I am having doubts and basically told me to suck it up or dont bother going at all. I don't want to lose a friend over it.",AITAH for refusing to be a part of a wedding,NTA
10uf9e9,"My (44f) parents live with me in my home for several various reasons. Since they have moved in there have been several issues. My mom tries to boss me around like I’m a kid living in HER house. Sometimes she yells at me too. If she cooks dinner and I eat her food she has me clean the kitchen. Fair enough. However I have Crohn’s disease (as does my mother) and right after eating my stomach hurts. So I’ve asked her to give me 30-60 minutes for my stomach to settle before I get to work on the kitchen. This is unacceptable to her for some reason and she starts yelling at me to do it immediately. A little back story- when I grew up she barely cleaned. Our house was borderline hoarderish. So it makes no sense to me. My mom is in a bad mood a LOT. I’m pretty sure a lot of it stems from the fact that my step dad does not help her out with housework at all, save the occasional dishes and taking out the trash. She’s always grumpy rarely happy. She is very critical of everyone including my daughter and I.  So yesterday I had a long talk with her. I came to her very respectfully, I didn’t raise my voice or anything. I nicely asked her to not yell at me, and to stop slamming things around when she has her little outbursts. She got really angry, denying she does those things. She also basically said I’m 71 I’ll say whatever I want whenever to whomever I want. I said that’s her prerogative but she’s going to push people away. Which she had to some extent especially with my daughter. I told my mom if she wants to have a better relationship with my daughter she needs to be more positive, and happy when my daughter is around instead of so critical. I told her if she does that my daughter will come around just give her time. She’s says I’m 71 I don’t have time to wait. I said well you’re going to reap what you sow if you continue to be so negative all the time. She got really pissed. She says that by asking her to not speak her mind I’m invalidating her. One more thing we talked about- starting from when I was little my stepdad called my sister and I awful names. He liked to embarrass us when people would come over he would tell people how we were bad kids etc. it really took a toll on me mentally. He still does it sometimes. He tells people we were awful kids and thinks it’s funny. He also says things like I’d look a lot better if I lost some weight (I’m 135) and says I need Botox. It’s very hurtful. I asked my mom yesterday why she had never stood up for me. She basically said she did but I wasn’t around to hear it. Part of me doesn’t believe her. Mainly because of recent incidents where she has just say there shrugging her shoulders over the Botox and weight loss comments. It’s hurtful and frustrating. Lots are supposed to stick up for their kids.I’m frustrated and hurt all around. AITA for saying these things? She won’t even talk to me this morning.ETA- if I kicked them out they would have no place to go and might be homeless. I don’t have the heart for that because my mom did support me while I struggled for a few years after my Crohn’s diagnosis.",AITA for telling my mom to be nicer?,NTA
10ue58m,"Hi everyone, I (26 F) am coming here because I genuinely want to know what others think. My grandma is turning 80 and having a party, she lives in a different state. The party was planned in December and I did my part including saving up money and buying my ticket to come, I’m a recent college graduate so I’m still broke! Turns out there was a mistake in the planning and they have to push the party out a couple of weeks. I don’t have the option to change my ticket without paying a couple hundred dollars. My sister offered to pay for a ticket for me to come to the actual party which will be around $700. I appreciate my sisters offer but I feel it’s unnecessary because I will still be visiting my grandma during my original planned trip, and honestly I don’t want the burden of my sister buying me a ticket hanging over my head even if she doesn’t hold it over my head. I love my grandma so much and I recognize not being there for the party will upset her, but I did my part in planning and saving up for this trip, it is not my fault someone else made an error, plus I’ll still be visiting her for 5 days, I just won’t be at the actual party. Please let me know, AITA?",AITA for not going to my grandmas 80th birthday?,NTA
10uiokg,"I (F40s) teach at a large academy with more than a hundred other women. We are divided into 8 learning communities. This year our staff encouragement team fees were $25. I paid right away and felt I had contributed my part. Then the team decided we would start hosting bridal and baby showers. Paid fees won’t cover the many fabulous showers we need to have, so now each learning community is responsible for throwing the showers for anyone in their community and all staff are invited. None of us were given a say in this. We are expected to be happy to participate because “we’re a family.”Our community had to host a bridal shower earlier in the year. I contributed to the gift but didn’t decorate or bring food for the shower which was held in the library after school. I came to the shower long enough to watch her open gifts, did not eat or drink since I didn’t contribute, and then left. A couple months ago a different grade community hosted a bridal shower for a new girl I’ve never even spoken to. She got married over Christmas break and moved out of state. I will never see her again and did not contribute, gift or attend the shower.The next shower is this week, for a baby. This is hosted by a different community at our same grade level. I have contributed to the gift but don’t want to attend the shower. I am being told I am TA for not participating or signing up to bring food or decor to any of these events. I don’t think I should be forced to socialize and pay money for work parties. AITA?",AITA for not participating in bridal/baby showers at work?,NTA
10uh5wu,"So, I (17F) graduate in a couple of months, and my school does this thing where you can submit personal photos of you and your friends to go in the yearbook.We all already have the standard photo of ourselves, but one of my friends is insisting that we pick out some other photos to send in.She sent a few to our group chat, asking if she can submit them. I personally don’t want her to, because I have self confidence issues and just don’t care about ‘being remembered’ by all the people in my grade. Just because I went to school with them, doesn’t mean I feel connected to them in any way; most of them have been mean to me these past 4 years. I told my friend that she can crop me out and send them in, since I don’t want to be in it, but I didn’t want to spoil it if my other friends did want to. But now she’s complaining about how ‘it won’t be the same if the whole group isn’t in it!’. Now she’s in a mood with me and won’t talk to me.I feel like photos of our friendship group should just be a personal thing that we look back on, not a bunch of random people in our grade… so am I the asshole?",AITA for not wanting to be in the school yearbook?,NTA
10ujwj3,"My boyfriend and I got into an argument. I basically lost it because our daughter fell and hit her lip on a toy. The living room was messy with toys but I injured myself and am in a splint and on crutches. So it’s been hard to do all the cleaning tasks I do. He pretty much blamed me for it happening and I told him he needs to help me clean up. I can’t right now in the same way I normally do. It then turned into a bigger argument. The gist is he told me I needed to ask him to clean up because he’s solely focused on school (he does online work) and thats it. Mind you his desk is in our living room and this is where all of this happened. I told him I shouldn’t have to say anything about it. He’s a 29 year old man and can clearly see the mess and he obviously knows I’m not in the position to be cleaning like I normally do. This is a constant thing though, injured or not. I feel like I do EVERYTHING While he is on his computer doing school work (and playing video games). So there is some deep rooted feelings at play for me. He says that this is the most important thing (getting his schooling done) and that’s all that he wants to focus on. I told him he’s selfish. That just because he has school doesn’t mean he doesn’t have to do anything else. I feel like the asshole because his schooling is important and I know that. However, I still also feel like there’s more responsibility and he thinks he gets to forge all that because of his school.",AITA for telling my boyfriend he’s selfish,NTA
10u8ueu,"I booked tickets to an event on behalf of my friends and I told them it was non-refundable. They all xferred me the $ and I made the booking.  The booking process is tricky -- takes about an hour of stuffing about (I book these tickets often... the provider uses a very outdated and complicated system).One friend changed his mind a few weeks later and wants to cancel and get a refund, which is technically possible, but...As the organiser only I can contact the provider for a refund.  It's a long drawn out process that will take me appx 90mins of my time over 3 days during business hours when I'm supposed to be working. I even checked with the provider who confirmed it must be me that calls them -- the other guy can't access my the booking for legal/privacy reasons.The ticket cost is $10.So I told him he can cancel on me and not come, but I'm not spending 90mins of my work time to save him $10. AITA?",AITA for not organising to refund a friend's ticket?,NTA
10uglhu,"My(26M) Friend(25M) is trying to make a living for himself online with YouTube, Music production, twitch etc. But it's not going as planned he is very talented with his style of music since he's been doing it since middle school. He's very tech savvy and well versed in online media and I know the general basics, we share some common interests so our friendship works but it's getting to the point where I don't know how to help or what to say. He's the epitome of antisocial and refuses to make any new social bonds with other people there are times that he's tried and it hasn't gone well so he's just decided that making the effort is pointless. Any and all forms of positive encouragement is met with mild hostility and comments of no one understanding. He deals with depression, financial issues and some many other things that I can't unpack I'm almost completely numb to all of it even the mentions of (self deleting). He is a genuinely good person but I'm almost at my limit so AITA?",AITA for starting to feel burdened/annoyed by being my friends only social interaction?,NTA
10ua3po,"Basically, once a week me and my dad usually go for a drive early in the morning. I really enjoy it and looking at the sunrise makes me happy. Yesterday my younger sister asked if she could join us, that wasn't really a problem for me. A part of me wished she could find another way to connect with us but I wasn't going to protest about it of course. Then she made another request, she wanted to sit in the front, which was something I didn't want. Once a week I get to go for a drive to look at the sunrise and feel calmer and it seemed like she wanted to take that away from me, sitting at the back  isn't the same. I told her no and if she wanted to come she should sit in the back. My mum thought this wasn't acceptable and it ended in a fight. I know I sound stupid and immature but this is something that brings me joy and she wants to take that away from me. I just wish she could find something else to do with my dad and I such as going for a walk or riding a bike. I need to know if I'm TA for this.",AITA for not wanting my sister to ride in the front seat?,NTA
10ue8qk,"So officially im (f/17) diagnosed with strong depression, binge eating disorder and strong adhd. I think there might be more but i dont want to self diagnose myselfTo graduate i have to do an internship, which means one week im at school and the other im working FULLTIME + learning. School alone was difficult enough and robbed all my energy but now....I come home and sleep. I dont even exaggerate, i just sleep till i wake up at 5am again. I have the feeling i might suffer under burn out. I already have panick attacks because i cant get my stuff done.The weekends are the only time in the week were  can relax a little bit. Not even fully relax because i worry all the time about stuff i havent finished but i also dont feel able to finish the stuff.There have been a lot of fights about household chores.  I have one older sister who is 18 and a smaller one who is 13 and gets a whole different treatment then me with 13. I did grocery shopping (without car or bike), made laundry, the whole kitchen often etc. But if my sister needs to wash the dishes it would be cruel🙄I also have a step father and my mother who is a stay at home mother. I help in the school weeks but i just dont have the energy to help after coming home from work and i want to use the weekends to relax and get other stuff done (like my room or homework). I always get screamed at for being lazy and just bratty. My mother often doesnt cook for me anymore because i dont help as much anymore (i just eat cornflakes or something that is fast). She talks bad about me with my little sister like that im disgusting and i schould just live in my hole etc...My mother knows at least about my strong depressions and adhd. I dont think she is taking my adhd serious to be fair because im ""just lazy"". The whole family knows still im TA. Thats why im asking the question because my whole family is against me. They say im disgusting for my room and lazy for not helping more. I think that i might be TA and just fake these things so i dont have to help but my energy is really at a all time low and i dont know what to do.",AITA for not helping in the houshold?,NTA
10upd86,"I'm a female who's 6 years older than my brother (he's mid 20s and I'm late 20s in age).I earn quite well now and worked 20-30 hours per week throughout my 4 yrs at uni. I'm completely self reliant financially (as I live alone, I'm not married, and our parents are very poor so I'm always trying to save a good savings pot). My brother didn't work much at all when at uni for 3 yrs, then had 1 year of doing fairly minor jobs during the pandemic and then went to do a 2nd degree at uni for 2yrs whilst working a little bit part time. He has much less money than I do (but is also not a good saver and will spend on himself and others very easily, especially on stuff that isn't an essential e.g. apple smart watches for himself, my mum and my dad despite none of them doing any exercise and my parents not being into wearable tech at all (this was at the point when he already had zero savings). I've also loaned him money in the past for his rent / laptop etc (not often though).At christmas this year, I asked him what he wanted and he specified 3 items that altogether came to £43 (and no way to get those things cheaper). He didn't ask me what I wanted and sent me £13 gift card for christmas. I found it a bit odd that he'd requested stuff that costs x3 more than what he was planning to give me. Of course the value of presents do not need to match precisely but I don't think I'd ever ask someone for stuff x3 as expensive as what I could/would give them. I don't know if perhaps he has an expectation that as I'm the ""big sister"" and earn fairly well, this is the way it should be? I've no bitterness at all that he ""only gave me £13"" but it's more the whole dynamic of expecting more that I found a bit odd but maybe I'm just not viewing it right?He has been fairly generous in past years with presents. Recently, we don't have a good relationship as he's been siding with my mum who's a martyr narc on absolutely everything so I was not feeling particularly generous at all but gave £25.AITA? How much do you spend on your brother esp younger brothers for their birthday?*TL;DR* : Is my brother right to ""expect"" x3 pricier gifts from me than he's prepared to give, as I'm better off financially?",AITA for not giving much to sibling on his birthday?,NTA
10uhl1z,"I’ll try to make this one short. I’ve had a friend of 12 years that I was very close with until recent years. Mainly because of his girlfriend, she’s manipulative, rude, condescending, and has a superiority complex. She has a PhD in material science and she somehow manages to bring it up in every conversation. Constantly trying to undermine any scientific conversation, even those unrelated to her course of study, because of said PhD. It had gotten to the point where none of our friend group really hangs out with him anymore because we know she would be there as well. Him and I had a falling out a few years back because I approached him about not liking the way she treated him and it blew up. A few years later, we’re friends but not like we were. I’m getting married in a few months and we’re working on our invite list. I would love for my friend to be there but honestly, I think having his girlfriend there would negatively impact my, and soon to be wife’s, big day. My wife is okay with whatever decision I make.",WIBTA for not inviting my friend of twelve years girlfriend to my wedding,NTA
10uoxq7,"My girlfriend and I (24f, 27m) have been dating for over a year and I love her to death. She's great and I really couldn't be happier. She has some mental struggles so our relationship isn't always perfectly stable but I feel like I do a decent enough job handling it and she does a great job trying to get help and lessening their impact on her and us. However this topic in particular has always been a source of negativity for her and has had such a bad impact on her mental health.We met through a mutual group of friends but I've since stopped talking to them. I eventually realized they weren't all that great of people, and the final straw in just removing them from my life was in seeing how they treat my girlfriend. They harass her, make fun of her, berate her, tell her to do harmful things to herself, even taunt her by showing her her own nudes (she dated one of the guys in this group beforehand). It's really disgusting and though I've told them to stop many times they don't care.Every week or two something with them will happen, and I'll end up having to console my girlfriend because she gets sad and upset and wonders what she's doing to deserve this. And every time, I tell her she needs to cut them out of her life and stop hanging out with them. She doesn't see this as an option. I tell her that when she goes back to school in the fall, or when she gets a job, she can try and meet new people and make new friends, or even hang out with my friends more often, but she's not having it. So I just drop it and calm her down until it inevitably happens again, and rinse and repeat.Well, the last time this happened, they did something particularly bad, and my girlfriend was extremely depressed and upset. I ended up having to leave work early just to go to her house and be there with her. Once things settled, I brought it up once again, and surprisingly she agreed. She went over the people she knew and who she'd keep in her life, and then blocked the numbers/social media accounts of the others. And that was that, at least I thought.A couple weeks went by and everything was fine, she said she felt a bit lonely but felt much happier and lighter now that she wasn't constantly berated, so I figured things were alright. But recently I saw an instagram story of her hanging out with them at a restaurant on that day, and I got really confused. I confronted her and she got really defensive and said she could do what she wants with her life, and when I pushed back, she got really pissed off and said I need to stop controlling her. It's been a couple of days since and she hasn't responded to any of my texts, so now I'm both getting worried and pissed off. I don't think I overstepped my bounds by suggesting she make this life choice, but I don't know. Am I the asshole?",AITA for telling my girlfriend to cut out friends from her life?,NTA
10u6g32,"I (f 26) am pregnant with my second child. My first is is a year and a half, when I had him my mom ( F 57) couldn't come in because you were only allowed one support person at the time. This was my husband ( M 30) My first delivery was awful. So Many things went wrong. Which is a whole other story in itself. But the relevant part is that my placenta didn't deliver. Because of this, I had a significant hemorrhage. When speaking to my gynecologist she said I was at high risk of this happening when I deliver the new baby. My brother died in a tragic accident when I was young. Since then my mother has not done well with medical emergencies with her kids. When my sister ( F 34) had her first kid my mom went, and the baby wasn't breathing and my mom freaked out. And this was something that only lasted seconds.My mom and I are extremely close. I called her minutes after finding out I was pregnant both times. I have always worked hard to keep our relationship strong. But knowing this about my mom when she started talking about being excited that she could come with me this time. I had to tell her no. Because if I'm hemorrhaging and she freaks out, I'm going to freak out as well. Which I can't imagine would be good. My mom took the information pretty well, or so I thought. It's been a couple of weeks and I was talking to my older sister ( f 36) that I asked my best friend to come. She has been the person who can be the calm in the storm for me so many times. My husband was in a serious car accident and because of this might not be able to be holding my hand or helping with the labor the same way as before. So I wanted someone who would be able to support me, when my husband can't.My sister lost it in me saying I stole this memory from our mom. And letting someone who isn't family in the room over her. That I never put my mom's needs first. She said my mom's been so upset sense I told her she couldn't come. So I have to ask AITA for telling my mom she couldn't come.  Then turning around and asking my friend to come.",AITA for chosing my friend over my mom to come into the delivery room.,NTA
10uabwy,"After my mom found out how much I’m making a month, she immediately started  telling me to pay rent. I’m a 19 y/o (M), I pay for my truck, my gas, and my phone bill. I work 60-74 hour work weeks (12 hour work days, 6 days a week, 1 day off). I’m trying to save money for the next few years so I can buy a house for my future, I’m barely at home so sometimes it’s confusing why she’s pushing so hard for me to pay rent.She pays for the bills, and food. If I want to buy anything for myself (clothes or a new phone or something), I pay for it, not my mom. I also take care of the garbage, shovel the snow, etc. My mom works a 9-5, supports my little brother(single mother). There was a period where she wouldn’t work and was just stuck on a low wage EI for a few months. She’s now finally back to work and telling me to pay rent. I think this is a lesson to never tell family or friends how much I make, and regret telling her now because she’s a big mouth and will probably tell everyone. We had a fight about this so I thought id ask on here.",AITA for not wanting to pay my mom rent so I can save money?,YTA
10uoox3,"Would I be the AHole if I told the restaurant owner what the head chef and I used to do there? (What we did is 100% nsfw) and although I am at part for it, I no longer work there and will bare no responsibility. (This happened with my head chef, my manager) we were not official but A. Lived together and B. Were exclusive (his words).Side note: he now plays the ""we were never a couple"" card when I found an earring by the bedside (I don't have earring holes) and this is pretty much over, as I can only take so much bullshit.I can't say this isn't at least partially a need for revenge, but I do think the owner should know who he pays to run his place, as I found pictures proving I'm not the only coworker he did things with. (I can only hope it's the same girl as the one who left the earring here).TL;DR: would I be the AHole if I told my former boss that I and the head chef did many NSFW things at the restaurant?",WIBTA if I told my former boss (the owner) what happened at his workplace?,YTA
10tfrjw,"I, 16 Year Old Male have had two consecutive birthdays ruined because of my mother and sisters. The night before my 15th birthday, I made it clear that I didn’t want my sister’s boyfriend to be at the celebratory dinner because he has repeatedly caused arguments between siblings and in the past, eaten snacks that I paid for myself with my allowance and unnecessarily involved himself in my business. When I stated this, my sister got angry and said ‘He’s my boyfriend and you’re being petty, you’d think because you’re older that you’d let things go but clearly not. I don’t know why we are celebrating a brat like you.’ In response, I brought up everything he had done to me prior and pointed out that he already gets enough food from me and said ‘He steals the snacks I paid for so he can survive not going to my dinner.’ Because of this, my sister called me ‘fat’ and ‘greedy’. None of my parents defended me so I spent my birthday with Grandparents the day after. On the day of the dinner, I was pressured by my Mum into letting sister’s boyfriend go, otherwise she wouldn’t either. On my Sweet Sixteenth last year, we visited relatives for a festival because coincidentally, it fell on the same time as my birthday this year. We went to the festival on Saturday and when we got home, I baked my own cake with cousin and auntie because my sisters and mother didn’t want to make it. The next day, my mother woke me up and said ‘The girls want trifle, can I take a layer and some of the icing from your cake to make it?’ I said ‘No, it’s my birthday cake and you know how much I hate trifle, if you really want a trifle, can’t you just buy one or get the ingredients for one?’ My mother responded with ‘Okay. I went into town with my cousin for two hours and when I returned, I found she completely disregarded my wishes and took the cake to make her trifle anyway. Obviously, I got angry and didn’t speak to her for the rest of the day because she put her needs and my sisters before me on the one day that is about me. She called me ‘selfish’ and ‘spoiled’. I am on good terms with them now but I worry they will make my seventeenth about them again so I don’t want to risk it. WIBTA if I excluded them from plans?",WIBTA for excluding my two Sisters and Mother from my 17th Birthday?,NTA
10utu73,"So, A bit of backstory, I'm Bi and Non-Binary, but I was assigned female at birth. I don't ever want to come out to him, as I've heard what he's had to say on Village People and ABBA. I'm almost 19 and still living with my parents, it's taking a lot for me to adjust to the working world. My parents have always told me that nothing will be handed to me, although I already am hired at an elementary school that my mother works at. The only problem is, I am a substitute, and I have to fight to get in on those days. My father is telling me that I'm lazy because I'm not getting called in, and other subs are getting called in before me. He's telling me that I need to walk up to the school and tell them off. I'm not going to do that, as that would be quite unprofessional of me.He has also criticized me for my eating habits, telling me I'm not eating enough, I'm eating too much, I'm eating something unhealthy, or his favourite, ""You're eating again? You're a pig.""  He tells me I'm a pain in the ass, and he throws these insults at me even in public.  This is hurting my mental health (which is already bad enough), and making me feel like I'm worthless.  So, am I the asshole? Is all of this an overreaction?",AITA for making my father hate me?,NTA
10uec3f,"Sometime during 2015 my grandmother was gifted a VW van and she spent a great deal of time telling me how I’d never be able to even touch it, all of her over idealized fantasies of camping in it, just really rubbing it in my face for some reason. I accepted it, I didn’t care and I already hated my home life so it was another reason to gtfo. Flash forward to 2020 and all of a sudden…she wants to give me it. She gives this whole speech on how I should always have a “way out” and that this is an option for me (at the time implying that if the world is falling apart- surely so would my relationship or home life within it). I accepted it regardless because it would’ve been a fun project and I don’t have automotive skills so what a great place to start. One problem though. She refused to give me any paperwork regarding ownership or anything and insisted that she had it and will provide me it. Over time, it’s like she purposefully forgot and would accuse me of doing the transfer of title incorrectly. I wasn’t doing it incorrectly, I had several other people in my life (one who works in automotive industry and one who excels in administration duties) help me with this. This involves it being registered in another state with an address I do not know, it was a shit show. In early 2022 we finally get news that the out of state DMV office is more than happy to cooperate and get this title transfer expedited. I relay this to my grandmother after almost a year of no speaking (leaving out alot of context of her sending me rude messages on holidays). And she absolutely implodes. She proceeds to contact my partners parents (his mother being one person who’s helped me) and essentially drags my name through the mud. Bringing up unrelated incidents, accusing me of lying, calls me every name in the book. And she threatened to take the van back. So we said by all means, please take it because we are done with this headache. The person she sent to get it was drunk, aggressive towards me, and almost broke not only the U-Haul they rented to tow it but almost sent the van rolling into our home. They finally leave and now sitting at almost 8 months later…she calls and leaves a voicemail. Saying that I have stolen “vital information” from the van that’s necessary in getting it in my name and implying that SHE is taking the initiative on this process. That can’t be true because if there WAS paperwork in it, I would’ve found it and got it done during the two years it sat on my property. I have already in a sense have made things arms length, I kind of “quiet quit” our relationship a while ago due to other problems we had. But am I the asshole for not wanting a stupid van and view her differently after this?  This started out as a present and now it feels like a punishment. *I apologize for how long or confusing this may seem, I will try my best to answer questions in the comments.",AITA for now wanting to refuse a gift (a vehicle)?,NTA
10ufc1g,"HelloMy husband and I have been together for 4+ years but 2 have been long distance as he is a European citizen and I’m American (& hence can’t live in the states legally). We got married early 2022 and are waiting for immigration to approve a green card for him. But in the meanwhile we are living separately which as you can imagine creates conflict especially when it’s been so long. And we’ve been relatively good at resolving conflict.But, three months ago he developed anxiety (has had two pretty bad anxiety attacks). Since then, there are certain topics that can’t be talked about, largely anything that is negative. That’s fine. But sometime this means he talks about his issues but treats mine like they’re dumb. Yesterday, I’d just gotten off work and was driving home. He was talking about his job and how he’s stressed with it. His job pays him very little so I said he should consider looking into another Job which he was very against. I then said if it was stressful and not paying much he could also cut back on some hours, etc.. it’s a lot more complex than that and the convo was longer but anyways, maybe my tips weren’t the best.But he tells me throughout the conversation that I’ve never had anxiety, that I don’t know what its like to work, what it’s like to have to build up your resume and said some things that made me feel like he thought I knew nothing. I’ve actually had many things happen in my life and have been living alone since 16… which he knows. I got mad at him and we got into a big fight. We both hung up angry and then continued the fight via text. Things were settling down but I still felt he should apologize for what I feel was disregarding my feelings. So I told him this via text, that I’d like an apology and hope he doesn’t put me down that way again. He didn’t answer for hours and then when he does answer, he told me to chill out and not take life so seriously. I got pissed at that and told him I didn’t want to talk more with him and since then we have not talked. It’s been a day. I know I have fault in this but I don’t think it’s right for him to say rude things and then act like it doesn’t happen… and this is a very often occurrence. He’ll often flip the tables and say I made a huge fight out of nothing and need to chill out.",AITA? Husband has anxiety and says mean things,NTA
10ufaei,"On Friday January 27th, over Instagram, a new girl friend invited me out to watch a movie with her slated for Thursday February 2nd. We hadn't yet agreed on a time to meet. We then talked again 2 days later and I had left her a message that was unrelated to the date: she said ""Maybe I'll send you the links to some YouTube Channels I watch"" and I replied with ""I think you should. I'll welcome them."" She responded, but the next day (Monday) but by only liking the message: there was no written response. The two times we spoke on Instagram, I was the one to message first. She watched my stories in the days leading up to the date and never once said ""hey"" or even send me a random message. So, for the date on Thursday, I waited to see if she would message and she didn't, so I made other plans which is what I think might make me the asshole. I posted a picture of myself at another event (I promise I didn't post it with her in mind) and she saw it, which may be another reason she might perceive me as an asshole.Soon after, she unfollowed me on Instagram. The day after (Friday), I messaged her, explaining to her why I assumed she was no longer interested in the movie, and she asked me ""Why didn't you message me to confirm?""So, am I the asshole here?",AITA for not following up with her after we decided to go watch a movie?,ESH
10u626d,"Almost four weeks ago, I (21), was kicked out of my parents house because I wasn't ""humble"" enough to say I ""might have done it"" (egg donors exact words) and instead denied doing it.This isn't much of a shock to me as we have been having issues since I was a child, with threats of homelessness since I was age 15.The issue is, after my friend came and got me and I started living with them temporarily I called my grandmother. She told me that my egg donor said I ""up and decided to move out"" a few weeks ago, which is false.I would rather not make it look like i'm trying to sabotage her relationships with the rest of the family, but i'm tired of her doing things to me and twisting the story.WIBTA if I made a public facebook post exposing the details of why I actually no longer live with her?Edit: I ended up calling my grandmother (egg donors mother) who told me that she believed me because “she knows her daughter,” which is good and she’s going to send me a bit where she can to try and help me get back on my feet.",WIBTA if I posted the truth about my estranged familial relationship with my parents for the rest of the family to see?,NTA
10th440,"I (25f) have a sister (37f) who has 4 kids with her husband (37m), 3 sons, ages 19, 13 and 11 and a 14 y/o daughter. My youngest nephew turned 11 last weekend and had a birthday party to celebrate. The party was held at a local arcade/restaurant, very similar to a Dave & Buster’s. I got there and we were getting ready to eat first, I talked to my sister and said hi to the birthday boy, Miles. While we were sitting down and ordering food, I noticed that my 13 y/o nephew, Kason, was not there. I asked my sister about it and she said it was no big deal, which was odd to me.I went to the bathroom and called Kason to see if everything was ok, he told me he was fine and then told me why he was skipping his younger brother’s party, apparently a few days ago, my sister got a call Miles and some other kids were bullying a boy at school. Apparently they were bullying the boy for being too “feminine” because he does ballet, and making homophobic remarks to him. The boy is one of Kason’s baseball teammates younger brother. Kason’s teammates convinced him not to go to his “toxic” brother’s party, and Kason told me he agreed with them. I could hear Kason get pretty angry in his tone when talking about Miles’s actions which is not normal for him, because it takes a lot to get him angry. After the phone call, I sat in the bathroom for a few minutes and was thinking to myself. Out of my 4 nieces and nephews, Kason is the only one who hasn’t got in trouble for bullying before. My sister and her husband dated in high school and were also bullies, and while they’re great to their kids, they often do act like the stereotype of a “Karen”. Miles is easily one of the worst kids I’ve seen. I decided to leave early and told my sister the truth, that I spoke to Kason and thought Miles didn’t deserve gifts. My gift was still in the car, so my husband and I left. I called Kason again to check on him and he asked if we could take him to the antique store my husband/his uncle owns, as the boys wanted to surprise the ballet boy who was bullied to some gifts. My husband and I took them and gave them some ballet related stuff and a few other things they’d say he’d like. I dropped Kason off at home, and later that day I spoke to my sister. She told me she told Kason the night before to skip the party, thinking he was bluffing and was very upset when she found out he wasn’t. She was also upset I gave the boys stuff to give to Kason’s friend’s younger brother. It’s been about a week now and Kason and Miles haven’t spoken to each other. Kason is not the type of kid who stays quiet when he believes something. My sister said I’m to blame for “destroying” their relationship and I should’ve just stayed at the party and our siblings and parents are siding with her. Kason however is texting me calling my husband and I “the best uncle and aunt ever”. I’m conflicted rn. AITA?",AITA for leaving my nephew’s birthday party?,NTA
10tx9dz,"I’m a mother to a 14 year old, who we’ll call Jay for legibility. Jay came out to me as non-binary a few months ago and since then I’ve been helping them express themself in any way possible; they chose a more gender-neutral name to go by, I let their teachers know about the name and pronoun change, we go on weekend shopping trips to find clothes they’re comfortable in, etc. Jay’s father and I have been divorced for years, and unfortunately he is extremely intolerant of the LGBTQ+ community and refuses to accept Jay’s identity. He has custody every weekend. Jay often cries before leaving for their dad’s house because he refuses to let them dress in anything he deems masculine, he makes it a point to call them by their deadname at every chance he gets, and constantly makes transphobic comments. It breaks my heart seeing my child come home depressed and suffering from dysphoria because of the things their father says.Since coming out, Jay's been begging to get a more androgynous haircut. They’ve never had hair shorter than below-shoulder length because their father refuses to let them cut it, but long hair is one of the biggest dysphoria triggers for them so I finally agreed to let them get a haircut a couple days ago. I took them to a salon and they got a mens’ wolf cut that looks amazing on them, and they've been euphoric over how androgynous it makes them look. The haircut gave them so much more confidence and comfort in their appearance.Jay’s father came to pick them up this morning and the second he saw their hair, he shouted “What the hell did you do?” I told him it’s Jay’s hair and therefore Jay gets to decide what to do with it, which sparked a huge argument between us. I said he had no right to tell our teenage child what to do with their own body, and he accused me of brainwashing our kid into thinking they're a boy. He said I was only doing this to drive a wedge between him and Jay. After he said that Jay jumped in to defend themself, telling him it was their decision to get a haircut, and their father yelled at them and called them the f-slur. Because of that, Jay refused to go with him and told him to f- off. Jay’s father ended up getting the police involved and they made Jay get in the car and go to his house as scheduled. Watching my child sob and beg me not to let him take them broke me and I’ve been crying ever since. Jay’s father texted me to say he’ll be speaking to his lawyer about getting full custody and told me that it's one thing to be delusional, but it's abusive for me to push my delusions onto Jay and I’m a danger to myself and my kid.Since they left, Jay’s been texting me saying they want to come home because their father keeps insulting their haircut and calling them transphobic slurs. I’m wondering if I made the wrong decision in letting Jay get a haircut, if all the trauma and verbal abuse they suffered was worth it. I feel horrible for unnecessarily subjecting them to this, so am I the asshole for going against their father’s wishes?",AITA for letting my kid cut their hair against their dad's wishes?,NTA
10u2b2v,"I (27M) live on my own, and am able to provide for myself.  My parents like to drive to my place to give me food, clean my apartment, do my laundry, etc.  This is something I don't ask them to do, and don't want them to do.  I've lived far from my parents the past 5 years after college and can 100% take care of myself.  I recently moved back closer to my parents, and this is what they've been doing the past few months.  I asked my parents if they can stop doing these things for me.  I always assumed that once you become an adult that parents shouldn't need to do these things for you.  Whenever I bring this up, my parents either ignore me or they try to convince me that I don't have enough time to do these things on my own, even though I very much have enough time to do these things.  They also get very upset when I ask that I do these things on my own.  I asked my friends about this and they think I'm the AH because I'm not letting my parents express their love for me.So am I the AH for asking my parents to stop doing these things for me?",AITA for asking my parents to let me take care of myself?,NTA
10trbtd,"I am 21 F and my mom and her boyfriend are both in their 60s. I don't know her boyfriend's exact age.I was talking to my mom and her boyfriend about Netflix's new restrictions on password sharing, and how everyone was upset about it. They were both under the impression that this was a good business move. After talking for a while, I said that I had seen four videos, each with millions of likes, all saying that it was a terrible business move. He immediately started making fun of me for thinking four people leaving Netflix was going to affect them. He cut me off probably 10 times while I was trying to re-explain that each of these videos had millions of likes. He wouldn't let me get more than two words in. I began to feel very frustrated and felt that saying ""please don't cut me off,"" or ""let me talk"" would be to no avail as he would cut me off saying that sentence. So, I screamed ""LET ME TALK! LET ME TALK!"" Finally, I was allowed to speak. Later, when my mom and I were alone, she told me ""I get that he was being annoying, but you shouldn't have screamed at him."" She went on to talk about how I should have said ""Let me talk,"" before yelling it.Even later that night, I retold this story to my partner, and they told me that I was 100% in the right, so now I don't know what to think.TLDR; My mom's boyfriend cut me off probably 10 times, while making fun of me, and not letting me get more than two words in. So I screamed at him ""LET ME TALK"" AITA?EDIT: a lot of y'all seem to think that the boyfriend is the worst person in the world. He is a very amazing, very kind person. This is the first time I've had a problem like this with him, and they've been together (off and on) for 6 years. They have been ""on"" for about a year and a half. I would not describe him as a misogynist like a lot of y'all seem to think he is.Edit 2: I'm not upset that he disagreed with me. I wouldn't have screamed at him for disagreeing with me. I was upset that he wasn't respecting me and letting me talk, while at the same time making fun of me. I can accept that people have different opinions. That's not what this was about",AITA for screaming at my mom's boyfriend for cutting me off 10 times.,NTA
10udpk1,"It might be that this is my last day at this kitchen job and the rudeness of my colleagues (no manners, no thank you, no please etc) has taken a toll on me in the last few weeks but I really feel what I might call anger.I never witnessed someone so rude and selfish, but this might not have anything to do with it, it adds context.At the end of every shift everybody has to contribute cleaning all surfaces and the floor. For days and days I managed to do multiple cleaning related things alone, with my colleagues doing things extra slowly to avoid contributing.Today I had already cleaned all surfaces and got asked to proceed with the floor, I did. While I was doing it she kept fake cleaning the things I have already cleaned even if I told her I already did it.At a certain point I asked her if she could spray water on the sewers where I cleaned, she didn't immediately and then started doing it where I didn't finish. I told her ""not this one, the other two"" and I think it was clear I was upset. The sous-chef told me I could leave (17 minutes earlier) and heard him ask her if everything was ok.Am I the asshole? I don't wanna be misunderstood: I can understand working slowly, but it angers me that she does when this means putting more load on her peers vs. not working intensly for the job itself.I didn't insult her but I was clearly upset.",AITA for asking my colleagues to help me clean?,ESH
10u7yap,"TA since they may recognize my account. I'll be going to a concert with a group of 5 other people in the summer. It is a very popular artist that many people will be traveling to see, including us who will be attending in a state we don't live in. I met these 5 attendees through a friend, so I don't know them all well, but we all decided to go together to split costs and enjoy a common favourite artist together.The concert is well over 5 months away, but we have started to look for accommodations and are seeing that all low-cost options have already been booked up. The cheapest option we found was a hostel style bunk bed hotel, that would be $50/night per person ($100 total per person for 2 nights). That place is completely booked for the exact dates we need. I looked on Airbnb and found an option that would put us at about $136 per person for the 2 nights. I messaged the group chat and asked everyone if that was an okay price, since the hostel is completely booked. One person responded saying that it's too expensive since the cost of the concert ticket itself was more than they anticipated. I asked what their budget was, but they didn't answer. I'm concerned that if we don't book a place soon, that we will be out of reasonable options and have to pay even more for somewhere to stay since the other places I saw were much more expensive. The Airbnb I found has a free cancellation policy up to one night before the reservation, so I'm tempted to book it, and sort out the cost later or even cancel it if it's really not viable for this person's budget. It seems like an asshole move because they already told me it's too much for them, but I'm worried that if we wait awhile longer that we won't even have that as an option and will have to pay more. The rest of the chat was okay with the price. Feel free to tell me if I'm being ridiculous, WIBTA to book the place to reserve it as an option?",WIBTA if I booked an airbnb out of my friend's price range?,NTA
10u7o4d,"I (16F) recently lost my mother, her father (my grandfather) has taken her passing as a way to finally get his highly offending opinions across.I had a brother (17F)  when he was 14, he changed genders. I supported him through everything, thick and thin. My mother did too,however my grandfather is so old fashioned that he can't stand the thought of it and the only person stopping his comments was my mother, who shut him down every time.After her passing about 2-3 months ago, he's been making comments to my sister that are incredibly selfish, because my mother is no longer around to stop it. I've been hitting closer to my breaking point ever since until finally I broke when he said ""has anyone ever jumped from adam and eve then back to adam?"" and started laughing while smacking the table At first I assumed he was talking about the stones, but then I realised he was aiming it right at my sister. I totally lost it and told him to ""take his selfish opinions elsewhere with people who actually wanted him around"" and shouted several other things at him before throwing him out of my apartment. I vowed to my sister from then on, I would take.my mothers place in putting that man back in his place. AITA?",AITA for snapping at my grandfather.,NTA
10ucj3m,"My (25M) sister (23F) often used to discuss about getting a dog and were always very excited about the proposition. We even looked at few websites to buy a pup we liked, but in my mind it was always window shopping like an act I would like to do but never actually do it. Soon after on her bday my sister got herself a pup (it was a surprise for me, I didn’t know she was going to actually get it) still I absolutely love that dog to death but the problem is my parents don’t. Both of them hate it and are against keeping it in the house. 6 months after getting the dog my sister left for college and expected all of us and specially me to take care of the dog. It’s going to be 2 years now and every month my parents throw a tantrum that dog has done something and I have to fight with them for the dog. I have a full time job and sometimes I feel too exhausted to take care of it. I have raised this concern to her many times but she says I am the ass hole for making her feel guilty about going to college and leaving the pup behind. She also says I am also a very unsupportive sibling. On some days I just want to rant and on others I really want her to reconsider if we can even take care of the pup and should consider putting him up for adoption to save the relationship with our parents-In both scenarios she calls me an asshole.",AITA for expecting my sister to come back and take care of the pet?,NTA
10uk0vj,"1 We were at a café a year ago. I gave my son (1) a biscuit. The wife threw a hissy fit about sugar, biscuits and what not. Stormed off. FIL lambasted me for ""pressing her buttons"" and that I should ""man up"". I said this is between me and your daughter, butt out.2 My sons cousin, 4 years old, is spoiled rotten. Just today she said ""why doesn't everybody do what I want?"" when she didn't get all the attention for 10 seconds. Her parents live next doors to the grandparents. While at our house a couple of months ago she tried to order me around. Do this, do that, not like this, not like that.I told her off and said my house, my rules. FIL went out for a walk. When he came back in he tried to order me around saying the same things the 4 year old had done before! Clearly he had been irked someone had told off the princess. Wife stayed quiet. Later on I told her she should have had my back. She said we must tread carefully, otherwise we might be ostracized from the family. I resent her for this, her family doesn't decide in our house.3 One month ago FIL visited. He was making dinner and asked me to help him take out the thrash. Sure, I said. When I got back in I went to play with my son. Afterwards FIL chewed me out for not having put a new paper bag in the trash bin. Wife quickly changed the topic. A week later I heard BIL had been subjected to something similar by FIL. Wife said, oh, my DH got the same treatment. Don't sweat it. Later that day I asked my wife why she swept it under the rug. She said I didn't want to raise an issue. I knew you would be mad. We had an argument.4 FILs birthday was a couple of days ago so we were going to visit for a SHORT break. Less than 15 minutes post entry I was sitting on a recliner chair in their living room, my son (2) and his cousin (4) played on the floor with construction toys. FIL was in the kitchen with MIL and my wife.My son was pulling a necklace of beads. I saw it was about to break so I sharply told my son to let go off the necklace at once lest it break. He complied. In enters FIL who heard me raising my voice towards my own son. Why are you not on the floor playing with them? Stop lazying off he said. I was fuming. My wife stood in the door opening and saw it unfold. Wife and I took a walk so our son could sleep in stroller soon after. She said nothing about what she had seen. I told her I expect her that we need to back each other up. She answered something ridiculous like ""I thought you said your house, your rules. Now this is daddys house, his rules. And in my familys house we don't raise voices against children"".I left for a couple of hours while she went indoors. In the car she said ""I told daddy you didn't appreciate his comment. He said he would do better. It was a joke that apparently you didn't like"". I said that was no joke and you know it. Don't try to cover it up like that. It was malicious.What the hell should I do in this situation? Did i over react and over think this?","AITA, wife TA, ESH or FIL TA?",ESH
10ujvko,"I (F32) and my husband (M29) both have mental health issues. For context: I have a full time job (remote) and I'm in college full time (also remote). My spouse is the SAH person who does all of the driving around and errand running, as well as most of the household chores.The problem: Some weekend days he chooses to sleep the entire day and night because of his mental health. Almost every time this happens I try to help him get out of bed, even if he just sits at his desk and plays something, at least he's not down all day. Yesterday, I attempted to wake him up 2-3 times, and each time he just told me he wanted to sleep. I use the weekends to finish the largest parts of my coursework, and was downstairs at my desk most of the day. This morning I got up and did my regular morning routine, thinking that if he wasn't awake by noon I'd actually make him get up. But at the same time, I'm focused on schoolwork. I heard him get up around 10:30, and went upstairs to ask if he wanted coffee and to say good morning. Now he's irritated because he slept an entire day away, and he doesn't want to talk, to me at least. He has no problem talking to his friends in a party or engaging with our teenage son. This happens often, especially if I fail at getting him out of bed. So, am I the asshole for giving up and letting him sleep? Or should I have continued to nag him about getting out of bed?",AITA for letting my spouse sleep all day?,NTA
10uecpj,"I am planning a trip with a friend and am the designated ""planner"". I am using a travel agent and prior to meeting with the agent I met with my friend and we agreed on all when, where, etc. So I simply relayed this information to the agent who then sent a quote.  Now she nitpicking details of the quote like the specific hotel and airline. It's a major 3 airline so I'm not sure the specific issue. I looked at the hotel she suggested on street view and it was a really seedy area with a homeless shelter across the road (I am not exaggerating). Most recently she says to ask for this specific flight because it would save alot of money but she either has AM/ PM wrong or she doesn't remember we agreed to leave early so we would have the whole rest of the day at our destination.  I realize there is some compromise when travelling with others but I'm not staying at a seedy hotel to save $200 and not randomly changing flights to make our stay shorter. TBH, I think this trip ended up being more money than she thought, what with the expense of everything these days, so i completely understand and I'm willing to give her an out but she needs to ask for it. That's not on me.  WIBTA if I just said no or ignored her requests or lied and said the agent can't do anything else?",WIBTA For not wanting to keep making changes to the travel plans,YTA
10u6vcs,"I moved to a new apartment lately and my friends and colleagues were helping me, so I promised them pizza.We wanted to work in two groups, on packing the transporter at the old place and one unpacking at the new place, we wanted to go back and forth maybe three times.After we packed the first time, the transporter had technical problems and for a long time we couldn't leave and we didn't know how long it would take to fix the problem, since the renting company was a little slow. The group for unpacking met Prior for breakfast at a friend's flat and stayed there watching tv until I blew everything off, since i didn't know how long the repair would still take, could be 10 min, could be 3h.Luckily for me, an hour later, everything was working again, so I asked ppl if they could still help, since they blocked the whole day for the moving anyway. Most of them came back to help, but two didn't even answer anymore.I am not mad at them, since i blew everything off and they maybe started to do sth else. But I wanted to invite everybody for pizza and i don't know if i should invite them. On the one hand they were ready to help me, waiting for me for 2h, watching tv with friends, on the other hand everyone else did so much more exhausting work, i feel if i invite ppl who didn't really help moving, that i don't value their work enough.So WIBTA if i don't invite the ppl who were ready to help but couldn't help for pizza?",WIBTA for not inviting everyone for pizza who helped moving,YWBTA
10ts63f,"I (40 f) have been married to my husband (44 m) for 5 years. We have a 1 year old together. I make low 6 figures annually. He makes under 30k, working part-time nights and watches our child during the day 4 days a week. Grandparents watch our child the other day a week. Bi-weekly I have 20% of my check going to a retirement savings account, 15% in a standard 401k and 5% in a Roth IRA. I've maxed out what I can for my employer contribution, but I could lower the % and still have it maxed. My concern is I'm 40 and only have 1 year of my pay in the accounts. I pay for all of our health insurance, medical, dental, and vision, plus some additional life insurance and pet insurance. I make the maximum HSA contribution I can for a family of 3 at about $250/check (bi-weekly). The HSA has paid for every medical expense we have had, except IVF. This is all pre-tax money. Taxes take about 1/3 of my pay. $300 after taxes goes into my personal checking. I use this for some bills I had before we got together, like my Micrsoft subscription, and also to buy coffee for myself (no, I'm not buying $300 of coffee a month, there are bills being paid here too). The remainder of my check goes into our joint checking. The remainder is 2.5x the amount of our mortgage and we pay for other joint expenses from this account. All of his money goes in this account, and mostly pays for groceries. We do generally have more than $5k in the account just to be safe if something happens. He is upset that I have a 401k, Roth IRA, and separate checking account from him. He thinks I'm hiding money away. I have changed contribution levels to be lower, and also adjusted bills so more are coming out of joint checking and more of my pay goes into joint checking. Am I the a-hole for having these other accounts?","AITA for putting money in a ""private"" account?",NTA
10umsqx,"so I (13M) was talking to my 4 other friends (all 13F) in a group chat and just randomly two of them we'll call Jessica and Martha who are very close where just being complete assholes to my one friend who we'll call Sarah. she was literally just talking about some random thing and they just started saying shit like ""did I ask?"" then agreeing with each other and any time Sarah tried arguing back they'd just say something like ""okay?"" which really pissed me off because well obviously they were just being assholes for no reason to her. I told her to just drop them because they're super toxic, she agreed and that was basically it but Sarah has this twin sister (the 4th friend) who we'll call Beth who just constantly follows Jessica and Martha around 24/7 who told me to just let it go, so I took her advice but the day after I just get called a cunt by Jessica for accidentally sitting in the wrong seat. I told her to fuck off because she had said to me ""no one wants you here so go sit somewhere else"" and Beth said the same thing, she tried defending them so again I listened to her because I trusted her, that was Thursday.Today on Sunday they just said they were dropping me. their reasoning was 'we know you talked shit about us' I'll be fair I did but I got accused of talking shit about Sarah but I never did, and they also said 'we don't really like you that much' and because I apparently follow Beth around even though she literally does it to them and no one says anything, but because I follow her around im a big annoying problem.in November I got in a fight with all of them because I got in a couple stupid fights with Beth about her constantly insulting me and we didn't talk until January. I was in the wrong then but the only reason we started talking again is because she said 'im fine with being friends with you again' so I decided to start being friends with all of them again, but I'm just now getting told that I'm getting dropped because Beth doesn't like me and because I do what they do everyday, talk shit about each other. it doesn't feel fair that im not only getting snitched on by Beth for being mad about how her and Sarah were being treated by them but she just flat out lied to my face saying that we were friends again for a month, but when they talk shit about Jessica and Martha I need to be quiet about it and not say it. I told Sarah that it doesn't seem like Jessica and Martha care about her and Beth, I'm guessing now that insulting each other/ being assholes to each other for no reason is just how they talk to each other but they never even told me, Sarah literally told me to confront them about how they act but I knew it'd cause more problems so I didn't. AITA?Edit: I should've mentioned that I am horrendous at telling stories that make sense",AITA for talking shit about my friends for being mean?,ESH
10umldn,"To give some more information. I have been goi g to the gym and exercising very regularly for over 5 years, and also love investigating and reading about new research and staff like that in fitness. I joined this new CrossFit gym last year, and I had never done CrossFit before so it was new to me and also exciting. At the end of the first session which was basically a huge HIIT workout, instructor starts telling everyone how a lot of research shows how HIIT is superior to just normal cardio workout, and I said actually there had been a lot of new research showing that not to be true. It really rubbed me the wrong way they an instructor would give false information. He said nothing that day. Next day, on the session, one of the exercises they had, I knew would destroy my shoulder. I have had a motorcycle accident, and had a surgery on the shoulder, but unfortunately it has never healed completely so I have to be careful what I do, and am somewhat limited in some exercises. I mentioned this to the instructor, and also suggested another shoulder exercise for myself instead of the one they had, which works same muscle but does not put my shoulder into a compromised position. He did not even ask what kind of accident or surgery I had to asses my fitness to his exercise and was adamant I do the exercise he had on the list. I did not want to argue any more and did the exercise his way. I still made sure I was safe by taking much lower weights which basically would not compromise me. Here comes the 3rd day, I come in, and the instructor (who is also owner of the gym) tells me I have to leave, Tver I do not fit with this gym. The reasons cited were these two incidents. I agree I could have handled the first incident better and should not have corrected him in front of the class, and probably just should have told that to him in privets. But unfortunately that’s just how it happened, and I sometimes say things without thinking much in consequences and then I am sorry I say them. This is something I am working on and am improving, or so I hope. But on the  second incident I think they are completely in the wrong. I really think they were putting my health in danger without even trying to understand what injury I had and adamantly insisting I still do their exercise. Also they kicked out my wife even though she had not attended a single yet. Basically they kicked out both of us. AITA? Did they do right by kicking me out?",AITA for correcting fitness instructor in the class?,NTA
10uj62x,"I'm laying here waiting unable to get up while my girlfriend Becca (not real name) sleeps so might as well throw this out, I could use an outside opinion for when we talk later so my Becca is low contact with most of her family for reasons related to the circumstances of us getting together, which admittedly were less than ideal. I don't feel the need to put it out there but while there is nothing awful that would get me banned I'll just concede anyone in her family that disapproves of us or me personally whether or not I agree, I understand. Frankly I accept it more than GF does.Anyway so we don't see them, but she's close to my family. The only time shes seen them in the last couple of years was one of her cousin's babyshowers because they are very close so she went, but to not make things awkward for her family I didn't go (she brought her friend instead) even though it upset my Becca because she wanted me to go, she disagrees with letting them have their way regarding my presence but she understands when I tell her.Anyway one of her closest friends (the one she brought instead) was helping my GF plan something for my upcoming birthday apparently when the subject of her family came up and she didn't fall for the deflection my GF normally uses because I guess after going and hearing murmurs about me she was more curious than before. Since she never wanted to lie she's always just been intentionally vague but that didn't hold and this time I guess the combination of persistence, wine, and feeling comfortable with her at this point (they've been friends a little over a year now) got her to let her guard down and she told her the truth, and her friend got upset and they said some things back and forth and her friend ended up leaving and they didn't talk for a few days. When they made up her friend upset her again by pushing an apology and attempt at reconciliation, pushing herself to help, which is not really up to Becca anyway but upset her to discuss. In the end they are ok, but her friend still brings it up occasionally and will say unkind things about me so I told Becca I don't want her at my party because she won't let it go and worse might even try something there.Now Becca is upset because they were planning it together and she is always at these things with us, but I don't trust her friend to not embarrass me or worse, and while I know I've done things I don't think it's relevant. Regardless of everything it is my birthday so I don't want to be on alert and think that's fair.  I might be the AH because my girlfriend promises her friend won't pull anything, but with how upset she's been I just don't trust her. AITA?UPDATE: It may not be my issue any more. My girlfriend (think it's getting time to change that to fiance) and I talked over dinner and into the night a bit and apparently her friend's words have been bothering her more than she's let on and is thinking of cutting back on time with her and another. I'm not shocked but I hate that it's working out this way, so we'll see what happens but wow has my girl got my back!",AITA Not trusting GF's good friend at my birthday?,YTA
10tvhja,"My friend invited himself over to watch a show together, saying he'd bring pizza. In the past he's come over with pizza, given myself and my girlfriend each a slice, then eaten THE ENTIRE REST OF THE PIZZA. Ya, sure, it's his, but when I offer him food I always expect he'll eat a full portion and he always does if not more. So I reminded him if he's going to bring pizza that he needs to bring enough for everyone to have an equal share, and he says I'm being unreasonable. AITA? I have no problem providing other snacks to share, but I wouldn't be impressed if again he eats almost the entire pizza himself.",AITA For Insisting My Friend Bring Food For Everyone?,NTA
10um8c0,"I recently broke it off with my best friend of 4 years. Alot of things contributed to this parting including her making a very toxic best friend and just me feeling left out of this friendship. Remember, the new girl was influencing her personality in a very negative way. After a constant back and forth between me and her, i got tired of this and decided to leave her be, if she wanted she could come around but i wouldn't beg anymore.Between all of this comes another one of her 'best friend' [M]. They became friends first and we both got introduced to one another through her. They were the irl friends but online me and him had begun getting closer as well. Him and her had some weird push and pull relationship where my exbff would push her friendship onto him when he clearly didn't want to be close, declaring herself his best friend when he already refused to the idea and they would constantly fight for petty reasons. Their friendship was toxic in general but there's too many details to explain.So, while we're hanging out one day she makes a very snarky remark and i was not in the mood to deal with that (it was the day before my grandfather's birthday who had passed not long ago) so i refused to talk to her the rest of the day in anger. she later called me crying and i apologized for my behaviour and explained my reasoning. i thought we sorted stuff out but oh boy it was a wishful thinking.After this she started behaving really weird with me and would make comments like ""why don't u two just hang out together, you're perfect for each other"" when me and him were talking and just generally upset about us getting closer.I've felt really guilty about doing what I did that day and have apologized several times to her and everytime, she reassured me before going back to acting weird. I even asked if she liked him just in case but she refused so i don't understand the problem. We're slowly ignoring each other but it's hard because we have the same friend group.Me and him both were dealing with some similar problems in life atm which just made him a trustable person to talk my problems with. We got closer overtime and exbff and him grew distant and he's told her he doesn't wanna be her bff. At this point me and her are not contacting each other at all because she thinks I've told him to break things off with her. So now my exbff is really rude to me and i feel helpless. AITA for being mad that day and then getting closer to her bff at that time?",AITA for stealing my ex-best friend's best friend?,NTA
10u6uax,"Where I work when we have an in store purchase while working we are checked out by a manager and our items are placed in a clear bag and double knotted. (Loss prevention purposes) we keep our purchase items in that double knotted form and in sight in the breakroom until you leave for the day. My store was having a sale on chocolate bars and chocolate baking melts because they’re expiring in the next few weeks. Me and my coworker/best friend basically bought the same things because we both bake and are looking to make cake pops with the melts. The only thing differentiating our stuff was the candy bars we bought, she bought more than me. When we left for the day i get a text from her realizing we had accidentally grabbed each other bags. I’m like oops haha and leave her bag on the kitchen counter ready to just give her her whenever i see her next. Next day comes and I’m off so I call her when i got home and i realize oh i never got your candy bars. I go to open the bag and realize the bars are missing. I’m so confused because the bag was double knotted still as it was when my manager checked me out. I’m like no way and go to check in the trash if there’s any open candy bar wrappers and sure enough someone ate them. I’m pissed honestly a bit more than my friend is because someone really opened a double knotted bag ate the candy and re double tied it. I leave this note on the corner of the table so everyone can see it. Here’s a visual…Contents of letter taped to empty chocolate wrappers: “To whoever opened this double knotted bag & ate all of the chocolate, you suck & owe my friend 3$ because this wasn’t even mine. I was holding it for her. please think twice before opening someone's double Knotted bag of goods that you didn’t even pay for!!”My sister comes in, reads my note, & automatically is like why would you write this this is so mean. I explain the situation and she’s like ok but what if they were just having a bad day…? What..? I obviously ask her was it you since your being so defensive and she denies. I actually believe her because she actually really doesn’t even like chocolate. we go back and fourth because the math isn’t mathing on how she thinks it’s okay for someone to go through someone else’s stuff because they’re…having a bad day??I tell her next time I’m having a bad day I’ll help myself to her room and whatever she has in there opened or not. I also tell her she would have the same reaction if someone did that to her belongings (reminder, this was my friends candy not even mine so i was even more mad.) I go to her room and start pretending to go through her stuff and yell at her saying next time I’m having a bad day, I’ll go through your shit! She’s really shocked at my reaction and Basically says I hurt her feelings, and I shouldn’t be yelling and cussing at her. She wants me to believe I’m overreacting about the whole thing, but I don’t know if I’m the asshole…",AITA for getting mad someone in my house stole from my friend?,NTA
10tmzs9,"I (15F) took a jewelry making class at school where we got to make projects based on prompts and after the class ended, we got to take them home. My mother decided to display some of my creations in the living room.Today, I walked in on my mom and my sister, Erin (19F), talking about them. Erin was saying that the jewelry was cool, and my mother told her that since she keeps admiring it and saying that, then she should take it back to her room. I said that just because she thinks its cool, that doesn't mean it automatically belongs to her and she can do whatever she wants with it.My mother asked me whose is the jewelry then, which I thought was a weird question. I'm the one who made it, so it belongs to me, and I said as much. She told me that she ""made me,"" therefore everything that I make should be hers.Then, I asked her if everything that she owns is her mom then, following the same logic. I feel pretty guilty about bringing up my grandmother. She was neglectful and when present she was abusive to my mom. I know that she's been stressed recently with my grandmother spam calling and then proceeding to pretend that she can't hear anything.My mom started yelling at me, asking who buys the materials for the craft projects I make. The school gave me the supplies, so I'm not sure what the logic was there. She said the jewelry shouldn't be in a common area if it's something that belongs to me and how I should take it away because she doesn't want to look at it anymore, so I did. On my way up the stairs to my room, she kept yelling about how I eat the food she makes every day. I hate loud noises, so I just wanted to go back to my room as fast as possible.I think I might be TA here because I brought up my grandmother, especially knowing that my mom's been stressed recently. She told me about a week ago she woke up at 4 AM and couldn't go back to sleep because she had a nightmare about my grandmother standing over her. I wasn't thinking when I said it, and she might have believed I was comparing her to her abusive mother, which does make a lot of sense why that upset her. I was just trying to point out that it's weird to think that a parent automatically owns their kid's belongings. I feel guilty about it. AITA?",AITA for bringing up my grandmother who abused my mother in an argument?,NTA
10tsbiq,"This is driving me crazy so I might rant. When I go out, if I am having a conversation, with my partner especially--(I do this, too, with my friends, but my partner is the person who has the biggest problem with it)--and a waitress or a store employee wanders over to take our order or offer assistance, I STOP TALKING.It's no one but the person I'm speaking to's business what my conversation is, and I know employees don't want to hear it anyway; they're at work. If I'm having a heated discussion or debate I especially clam up; it's very rude to argue or have a ""spirited talk"" in front of unwilling participants in your little dramas. This is what I was taught. My partner *hates* this & says I'm intentionally dropping the debate when service personnel enter our sphere because ""I know I'm losing the argument"" or ""I want to change the subject."" We were going through the Starbucks drive thru and for some reason discussing the very private matter of his upcoming inheritance. As soon as we pulled up to the window, I stopped talking about it. There was the nice, sunny Starbucks girl, smiling and telling us ""just a sec"" while she gets our cups, then returning and waiting for payment, and my partner just kept going ON and ON about whether or not his Father was going to leave him this or that, and how unfair it all was, *extremely* loudly. I was mortified. I mean, he would not stop. I finally had to just start saying: ""Shhh! Shh! Stop this. Please stop! You're being rude. Not in front of strangers... Ok, ok, I see, but Not. In front. Of strangers. PLEASE lower your voice.""Well, he got mad and we had a huge blow up about it on our way home.AITA for not wanting to have personal discussions on front of service personnel?",AITA for refusing to speak in front of service personnel?,NTA
10ud9q9,"My dad and I both have tickets for our local football club. They‘re not tickets you use once but ones that allow you to enter the stadium every game during the entire season. We go every other week. My dad paid for mine and got his for free.Today he started an argument with me. He asked whether I was home tomorrow to accept a delivery of some headphones he had ordered. I told him I was home but would have to take out the dogs at some point and that my mother wasn‘t home so there could be a short time frame in which nobody was home. He got really mad although we told him even if the parcel happened to arrive at a time when I‘m not home, the delivery person would probably give it to a neighbor or throw it in our staircase (our front door is always open) as they always do. He didn‘t want to hear it and got really mad at me and my mom… for not being home.Now, it‘s also raining like crazy. You can‘t bring umbrellas to the stadium so we would arrive there soaking wet (takes us 20 minutes to walk to the stadium) and then would have to sit there wet for 2 hours.I said that because of the rain and also because he just randomly got mad at me and yelled at me and  was still annoyed with me I didn‘t want to go today.He‘s even more mad now. He says I was the one to cause the argument because I could stay home when he needed me to this one time. He could have gone to the stadium on his own but he decided not to.  I feel bad now because I kinda wasted his money (7 bucks for both tickets) and because he doesn‘t get to go to the stadium now. He could have just gone by himself since he didn’t want to talk to me anyways because of the parcel situation but he‘s blaming it on me now. AITA?",AITA for not going to a football match with my dad?,NTA
10u3cvf,"I [16F] was talking to a group of people in a group chat, and someone posted a video meme of Millie Bobby Brown where she asked what BTS was. This girl got super super mad and started saying how Millie Bobby Brown was uneducated and ignorant for not knowing what BTS was. The video was pretty old too and not recent so it’s not like she said that recently, but the girl was absolutely pissed. I said that it’s not a big deal that she didn’t know what BTS was and I didn’t know them a few years ago either, and I still don’t listen to them. This led to the girl absolutely going ballistic and said I don’t respect Korean culture and I shouldn’t be so racist against them. I genuinely never listened to K-pop cause it’s not the kind of music I like and I do still occasionally listen to some songs from K-pop bands. So, AITA for not listening to K-pop?",AITA for not listening to K-POP?,NTA
10ug2i8,"I (22M) got upset with my close friend (22F) when she asked me to come for shopping/ exploring for her sisters birthday because I felt she was being ungrateful.So my close friend today asked me to take her to a place for shopping which is 60 Kms back and forth from her home and for which I would have to come and drive to her place first which is 40 km back and forth.Now I was not interested initially because of all the driving I would have to do but would've done that if she maybe showed some appreciation of some sorts or showed some understanding to my situation. Now as per her, she says that we will not be only going for shopping and we would hang out together and eat aswell so it's not a big deal for you to do that. Don't look at as if we're going for shopping. Look at it as if we're going to spend time together. She feels that I don't want to come because I'm looking at it as if I was coming especially to take her shopping. Now my stance on this as I mentioned to her was that, I AM especially coming to take you shopping and we would anyways hang out if we went out so some gratitude or polite request would have been appreciated. But she then rudely said that there's no need to request because it's not that you're only taking me for shopping, we will be spending time together too. You anyways come to meet me all the time so what's the problem now? And if you had a girlfriend you would have done this much anyways for her as these are very basic expectations. She feels I'm asking for extra requests just because there is a task involved in it and I shouldn't look at it that way because we would be hanging out as well.So AITA?",AITA for getting upset and not willing to go shopping with my close friend?,NTA
10u5hy0,"AITA for calling out a friend (F) in a group chat for flaking 3 hours prior on a agreed upon get together dinner. Background: F is a person that flakes more than then the standard individual, every time we organise something the outliers is always them. Also (where I’m from most restaurants take cc info in case we don’t turn up with the agreed number with a t&c to have a fixed charge per head for no shows).Generally i would message privately but I do not condone people messaging last minute saying they cannot make it because they just bought a few things and are broke and cannot afford it (which I understand on financial hardships or any emergencies).But what I don’t understand is…is it unreasonable for me to ask/say to notify us earlier/day before now few hours to the event and calling them inconsiderate?",AITA Calling out friend for flaking 3 hours prior to an agreed group dinner,NTA
10udv2r,"I am a 18 f and I work as a cashier at a grocery store. I’m relatively introverted, but I’ve been working there for a few months, and I’m getting more comfortable talking to my other coworkers and having friendly conversations with them. However, one of my coworkers recently has started acting rude to me, and I’m not sure why. He (19 m) refuses to address me by name, and when he does, he confuses me with another girl (who looks nothing like me). He also continues to have an attitude when he talks to me, but is generally friendly to everyone else who works with us. Because of this, I don’t feel comfortable asking him questions when I need something done (whenever he works he’s over cashiers and baggers in a way, so we go to him for questions or concerns). Just last night we were closing the store, he was in charge of us closing. He was telling people they could clock out, and addressing them by name while doing so. Since he didn’t say my name, I assumed he wasn’t ready for me to clock out so I stayed at my register to find something to clean. And then maybe like 7 minutes later he randomly says with an attitude “Clock out already, what’re you doing?” Once again I didn’t know who he was talking to because he didn’t address anyone, but I looked up anyway and saw he must be talking to me. Then he tells me “I told you to clock out already, hurry up.” I try to be nice and respectful to everyone, but I was pretty pissed off by his attitude especially since there was no way I could have known he was talking to me since he didn't address me or make any attempt to either. I’m tired of his attitude and different treatment, and it confuses me because he was not like this to me at first, and was actually pretty respectful. I don’t want him to keep treating me like this so I was wondering if I should go to one of my bosses about his behavior, as I don’t feel comfortable speaking to him anymore. I understand that there are just some people like that when having a job and that I won’t be “friends” or “friendly” with all of my coworkers, but I still want respect while on the clock.  I don’t want him to get in serious trouble, but I don’t want him to keep talking and addressing me the way he is. Am I being too sensitive? WIBTA?",WIBTA for going to my boss about a coworker?,NTA
10tnre5,"This is gonna be long so please bear with me. For context, my [F 20] mom [F 50] is a licensed doula, going for her doctorate in health sciences, has numerous degrees, is a professor in different areas of biology, etc. so she’s definitely smart but we don’t see eye to eye on most of the decisions she makes. She’s kind of a hippie in the sense that she also does reiki, she’s an herbalist- definitely a naturopath which I try and respect. Our home life right now is very chaotic. Me, my mom, and my two siblings [M 18, F 15] live in a small bi-level, and in October we took in my two cousins [F 18, M 15] fleeing Russia. On top of that, my brothers girlfriend [F 18] is living with us as well. The living arrangement is this- The three bedrooms upstairs are occupied by my two cousins and sister, my brother and girlfriend stay in two small bedrooms downstairs connected to a converted garage, and my mom and I sleep in a makeshift sort of bedroom area where we use furniture to divide the basement into my room, her room, and laundry room. (She used to have one of the bedrooms upstairs but wanted my two cousins to each have their own bedroom which of course was really considerate of her). Here’s where this is relevant-Normally I’m away at college and only really come home on the weekends, even then I sleep at my boyfriends house as I don’t like to be home. My mom has a client for her doula services who needs somewhere to give birth and she offered her my room. Reminder, this is a small basement area full of clutter that Im not even comfortable living in. Her plan is to move my furniture out of the way to put a birthing tub by my bed so this woman can have her baby there. Am I the asshole for just feeling like there’s gotta be a better solution? My mom says the woman doesn’t want to give birth in a hospital and doesn’t have the money for it. Apparently her own house is being renovated and she can’t give birth there so she has no other option. I feel bad for her but I also know my mom has a track record for making really irrational decisions that are not well thought through. Obviously the baby being born safely comes first in priority, but how would this work? A stranger is gonna give birth in my small house unmedicated inches away from all my belongings with five other kids in the house? I feel like it’s not a clean place to have a baby in? And my siblings/cousins don’t have anywhere else to go so everyone has to be there while she gives birth. My mom says that our discomfort with hearing her give birth is unnatural and that “humans lived this way for centuries” Am I selfish to feel like this plan is flawed? Am I selfish for feeling like there should be a sort of boundary here? I just genuinely don’t believe there’s not a better option and I sense that my mom has this kind of savior complex where she thinks she needs to do this for this woman instead  of putting energy into finding a better alternative for her.",AITA for not wanting someone to give birth in my room?,NTA
10u78vp,"I recently wished my best friend from college a happy 26th birthday via text instead of calling her. She felt hurt and asked if it was difficult for me to call, which made me realize that my actions may have come across as insensitive. I responded by saying I had my reasons but couldn't explain, which only made her feel worse.The truth is, I've been feeling emotionally exhausted lately and pursuing a master's degree and moving into a new house has left me with little energy for social obligations. I used to be more proactive in making her birthday special, but over time I've found myself growing apart from her mentally and emotionally.She has faced many hardships, such as losing her mother and taking care of her younger siblings with her emotionally distant father. I understand why she would expect stability from me, but the pressure sometimes becomes too much to bear. Although she has other friends, she often complains about them or feels unable to connect with them emotionally. She sees me as one of the few people who truly understands her.However, we don't have much in common anymore and our conversations revolve around the same topics. I find myself feeling depleted after talking to her and feel like I'm doing it out of a sense of obligation, not because I actually want to talk to her.We bonded during a turbulent time in college, and she has been a supportive friend during my difficult times. She used to be sensitive and giving, but has become jaded by people who have taken advantage of her friendship. Although I feel like I may have pushed her away by not reaching out, I also feel like maybe I was being self-centered and not considering her feelings as one of her closest friends.",AITA for sending a birthday text to my former best friend instead of calling her,NTA
10uesif,"it's summer in my country (Brazil), so my family has a little ""ritual"": every Saturday when I leave therapy I buy ice cream for the weekend for me and my parents. Last week, I was informed that this Saturday (Feb 4th) I wouldn't have therapy, so I told my mom ""I can still go out and buy it Saturday, no problem"". but SHE gave another idea, she said: ""no, buy Friday, we're gonna go grocery shopping anyway, so we go, we leave the things here and you go buy the ice cream."" again, HER idea, SHE suggested it. I said ok, and so we did that. I think it's important to mention that we didn't buy the ice cream at the market because it's really expensive there, i buy it at a store that it's way cheaper.important: ever since the pandemic started, my mom started cleaning every thing that we'd buy before we store it. I personally don't find radical, I'd do the same. anyway, we come back, she started cleaning the groceries alone, I went to buy ice cream and when I came back I helped her cleaning the rest of the groceries. also, keep in mind that every single time we go grocery shopping ALL of us clean together (me, her and my dad when he's home and not working), so she never cleans them alone, please remember that.ok, later that same Friday I noticed she forgot to put the shoe she wore inside the shoe rack we have, so I put it there and I informed her that she forgot to put her shoe there, but I put it anyway. I just say it because I thought she genuinely forgot by accident. she looked at me and said ""yeah, I had to wash everything alone that's why I forgot"". I was a little taken back because I wasn't expecting that reply, also because she said she washed EVERYTHING alone when i literallyh helped her wash like half of the groceries. I said more or less ""well YOU told me to buy it today, if you really didn't want me to go you could have said 'no, buy it tomorrow (Saturday) anyway' or 'no, clean with me first and then you'll go', YOU suggested it"", and since then she hasn't really talked to me fairly. yesterday I literally passed out at home when I came back from the gym because of how hot it was and she didn't even notice, or if she did she didn't do anything about it. meanwhile my dad was out working and the second and sent him a message ""sorry for the late reply, I think I passed out"" he called me to know what exactly happened to me.I'm just in doubt because, again, SHE gave the idea, so I thought she was ok with it, but apparently she isn't. I'm posting here because I'm really lost, I don't know if I did something wrong, she gave the idea Wednesday and I confirmed it again Thursday, so i really thought it was fine.so, reddit, help me: AITA?EDIT: about the shoe part, she personally asked me and my dad to tell her if she ever leaves her shoes out of the shoe racket, that's why I told her, because she never forgets it, so I thought she forgot by accident, but I still informed her anyway, since she asked.",AITA for buying ice cream?,ESH
10u38jb,"obligatory on mobile/ first time posterI (24f) finally found a tattoo artist that I feel comfortable with/ “gets my style”, after my appointment today we began talking about any other tattoos I want and I brought up a tattoo idea for my sternum which we both thought was cool and we’re both excited for. I was happy I was able to get another cool piece done and went home and told my boyfriend (24m) about it, he told me it was weird to “have a guy stare at my boobs for hours” I told him I get at first glance it can be weird I guess but he’s just doing his job and it’s just like having a doctor of the opposite sex, he’s doing his job he’s not worried about boobs. He told me I’d probably be uncomfortable with him getting a tattoo by his peen by a female artist and when I told him I wouldn’t he got more upset and asked me to switch my artist for a female one and when I told him no he basically said he wouldn’t be comfortable with it and it’d be a dick move if I got it done by him. I really don’t want change my artist just because he’s a guy, he’s respectful and not going to risk loosing his job or even getting a rep for being weird towards me and I tried explaining it to him but he still sticks by that’d I’d be an asshole to get it done by him knowing it makes my boyfriend uncomfortable, so am I really an asshole?",WIBTA for letting my male tattoo artist tattoo my sternum,NTA
10ubnd4,"Myself (m24) and one of my best friends (m24) have gotten in an argument. Basically I met a girl, we will say Jess, a few weeks ago while myself and him were in the bar together, I hit it off with her and we went back to a party together and chatted all night, then went for breakfast together the next day, we said we would stay in contact. Now my friend also got her contact that night, and was being kind of flirty with her, but I ignored it because he is just kind of like that and he said it was just a friendly thing. Anyway, after the night the girl seems to have kind of gone off me as she didn't read my text message, I was kind of hurt because I liked her but c'est la vie I suppose.Anyway, while me and my friend are drinking one night Jess comes up in conversation, in the conversation my friend a) lies and tells me he never got any contact for her himself and b) tells me to block her, we were pretty drunk and I agreed. Fast forward a week. He goes on a night out without me, texts Jess and invites her out with him, even though he said he had no contact previously. She goes out and to be honest I stopped listening to him there because I was pissed off. He says that it's just a friendly thing and I need to get over it, but I've tried to explain that the l was kind of hurt by the whole situation. I also know him and that he doesn't just invite girls out with him, he tends to try and get with anyone.I have stopped talking to my friend now given that he can't seem to understand my issue with the whole thing, AITA? have I overreacted or am I justified?",AITA for getting mad at my friend,NTA
10u6d33,"This is a throwaway accout and I'm not a native english speaker, sorry for mistakes.So I (24F) have a habit of sleeping while hugging something and my fiance (24M) doesn't like it because it's not him I'm hugging.I've pretty much always needed something soft to hug while I'm sleeping. It just calms me down. When I was a kid I had this teddy, you know when kids have their absolute favourite toy? That was mine. It's still in my room at my parents' place and I still sleep with it whenever I visit. At home I just have an extra pillow to hug. This pillow hugging thing helped me a lot when I was suffering from severe anxiety (I'm better now and getting the treatment I need) and I still find it a lot more comfortable to sleep when I'm hugging something soft.Now this is where I might be the asshole. My fiance has voiced his discomfort in me sleeping with a pillow or a teddy. He's saying I'm giving them more attention than him. Which, btw, isn't true. We spend most of our freetime cuddling on the sofa. We also cuddle in bed whenever he comes to sleep the same time as me but normally I'm already asleep when he comes to bed.He has tried to hide my pillows and my teddy. He has also ""tortured"" my teddy as punishment and it might sound stupid but it really hurt because it's my teddy and I love it. I'm not giving up on my pillow hugging no matter how uncomfortable he is or how many times he hides my pillow.So, Reddit. AITA?",AITA for making my fiance jealous of a pillow?,NTA
10t9d4d,"My husband is a horrible gift giver. It's gotten to the point that I dread my birthday because I know I am going to be let down. This Christmas was the final straw for me. I got him a bunch of things that were personal that I knew he would like. He got me a tray for the microwave so I could heat up our two kids plates at the same time and a book about horrible mom's (I had a baby two months prior). It felt like such a slap in the face. I gave him ideas (sent him links to three rainboot options, tickets to a show I want to see, massage, even chapstick), but nope, bad mom and something for the kids (half his gifts to me now are gifts for the kids). It's not a money thing, just a show you care about me thing, not that you found something on prime. WIBTA if I said no more gifts between us?",WIBTA if I told my husband that we should stop trading gifts?,NTA
10uajps,"Was at a party last night. Those guys knew I had a problem, and I told them at the beginning that I didn’t was to drink. After some time, they began to pressure me heavily to drink, and I tried to resist, but I eventually relented. I ended up getting way too drunk and caused a problem (not a serious one though), and now they’re annoyed with me. I understand that it’s nobody’s fault besides my own for what happened, and I should have just said no, but does this still make me an asshole for getting too messed up when they wanted me to?",AITA for getting too drunk (as an alcoholic) at a party where my friends pressured me to drink?,ESH
10u8rjs,"So it's my birthday next week, I've been trying to organise something for the last month as people would have plenty of notice if anyone was working the weekend. So I invited my friends, my GF and a couple of family members around the same age (we all in our early to mid 20s) however, most if not all the people I invited didnt respond or said no for various reasons (some understandable and others are clear BS). The only ones that said yes were my GF and My friend that I work with. I was livid at it as I didnt plan anything crazy, just drinks in my house as it would be free (moms away for that weekend) so i got mad at realising this and just cancelled the whole thing and instead planned something with a bunch of other friends in the city near me, i didnt do this because my close group dont like drinking there. Sadly my GF also said she wont be going due to work the next day, plus I know she wont like the venue I picked and 2 of my close friends said I'm being a selfish Asshole. AITA?Edit: forgot to mention my gf is ok with it and she said we're gonna do something over the weekend2nd Edit: I fucked up, turns out theyre doing a surprise... fuck 😭",AITA For Cancelling My Original Birthday Party?,YTA
10uo9p1,"Typing on mobile so not grammatically or structurally correct. I (18 F) am currently enrolled in college. I have two roommates (both 18 F). Today, we had a dispute over chores. We all promised to do our own dishes. I have but sometimes the dishes weren’t clean enough and instead of telling me to wash them again they tossed the dishes back in the sink and never told me. Only one person does their chore most of the time. Their chore is trash. I have floors. The thing is I was not raised with fully wooden floors. All I did was vacuum carpet and even then it was when visitors or family came. I’m not used to doing the floors every week as the chore list hasn’t been changed since we came back from winter break and is supposed to switch. Roommate 1 has told me we don’t care about the chore list the floor is filthy because of me (my side which I apologized for). She has bathroom and has never cleaned it. Since I’m the messiest person in our room so I sweep once in awhile on my side. I often don’t have to clean the floors on my roommates sides because roommate 1 only stays over like once or twice a week. Roommate 2 barely makes messes. The last issue is my desk. I leave food on it for 1-2 day max and toss it. They have a tray that they leave snacks on often by their beds. I also have paperwork and journals and random things on it. I have issues organizing but I know where stuff is. It bothers the both of them. They both are telling me I’m being rude and disrespectful to them because of these issues. AITA for this?",AITA for the dispute with my roommates.,ESH
10uo7ec,Hello people of redditMy cousins dad and my aunt have recently gotten an divorce. And i was wondering wibta if i unfriend him on various platforms as he does alot of post that are annoying to look at. The thing is i think my counssin could get quaigt (how the f do you spell that) angry at me for it so pls help what should i do,WIBTA if i unfriend my cousins dad,NTA
10svtv3,"Myself (43M) and my wife (41F) have lived on our street for years with our two boys, James (12M) and Sam (6M). Every Saturday morning Sam and I have a ritual, he calls them our dude walks. We look for spiders, dig in the mud, and stop at our neighborhood park to play. It's sort of a standing meetup for a bunch of parents in the area.Recently a new family moved in the next block over. The mother mentioned that she had two boys too, Kyle (13M) and Aiden (7M). I told her about the Sat morning park group in case she wanted to meet some neighbors.When she showed up with Aiden it was clear he has special needs. The mom was friendly, she sat with all the parents while the kids played. Aiden is an enthusiastic player. Loud noises, banging on things, getting up in the other kids faces. The mom was good about correcting him, and he wasn't aggressive, just excited.The other kids are wary when he flails, but they include him in play still. One Sat he was having an especially tough day. I called Sam over for a snack. He said ""I don't want to play with Aiden, can we go home?"" So we left. The next day Aiden's mom came to my door. She told me that I should have talked to him about differently abled people instead of just abandoning her son. We agreed to talk to Sam.The next weekend Sam said hi to Aiden, they played together a bit, but when Aiden got loud again, Sam retreated to the highest platform where Aiden was scared to go. When Aiden asked him to be his partner for a game, Sam said no thank you. I felt that was fine. My wife still felt bad, so she invited them over.Aiden had one melt down but other than that it went fine. Afterwards Sam asked please could Aiden not come over again. I asked James what he thought of Kyle, he said that the kid was obnoxious and didn't smell great.The next weekend, Aiden destroyed my son's favorite toy. He snapped the arms and legs off. Sam yelled ""YOU ARE A VERY MEAN LITTLE BOY!"" I did not make him apologize, we just left.Now instead of going out in the morning, we go on Sat afternoon after Aiden has left the park. After a few weeks, some others started joining us. We didn't discuss why. But I suspect that they didn't all shift their weekend routine around solely because they missed my sparkling personality.Aiden's mom eventually got wind of it. I don't know how. She wrote us a long heartfelt letter. She felt I had not done enough to discourage Sam from ostracizing Aiden and that my ""pull"" in the neighborhood was influencing others to avoid her son now too.Sam has tried his best. He's verbalized his need for boundaries from Aiden to us three times now. James has also been clear that he doesn't like the brother, Kyle. As long as both of my kids treat them with respect, I'm satisfied. I can't control what the other parents choose to do. We'll continue to be friendly and be good neighbors if they need a hand, but not play with them. AITA?",AITA for letting my son avoid a special needs child?,NTA
10tzklr,"My husband (30m) and I (29f) both work in public service. We are both underpaid (but pretty evenly) which is typical in our area for our professions. We were talking about money the other night and he mentioned me picking up a second job. I got really mad. I’m a full time working mom to a 14 month old. The time that I have “off” is spent caring for our child, running errands, taking care of the home, etc. I snapped and told my husband he needs to get a different job. He got mad and was going on and on about how much he loves his job. But he’s 9 years in, and I’m making the same as he is with only 2 full years in. There is no raise or advancement in sight for him in the near future. He loves his job and he’s really good at it. But I feel like him asking me to pick up a second job (in reality it would be more like a 3rd job), is really selfish. He’s had several opportunities arise outside of his field that offer significantly more than what he makes now and he keeps turning them down because he “wouldn’t enjoy it”. I told him that if money is that big of a problem, then he needs to buck up and take a higher paying job especially when they keep being offered. Am I the asshole?",AITA for telling my husband he needs to get a different job?,NTA
10tx197,4 months ago my (f21) boyfriend(m23)s mom told him that I was very good at soccer when I was a teenager and his grandpa had recruited me and found me a scholarship to play club. My mother declined because she didn’t want the commitment. His mom asked him not to tell me this. I found out from him today because his mom started to tell me everything except for my mom declining because I was talking about how bad I was at soccer. (I’ve been telling everyone I was bad at soccer my whole life. I never knew I was apparently really good). Anyways after we left he told me that my mom had declined and his mom told him four months ago and asked him not to tell me. This makes me feel betrayed because if it were the other way around I feel I would have told him. I don’t think there should ever be secrets in a relationship especially when this is about me. He thinks I’m an asshole for being hurt by him not telling me and that I should understand he has a right to not tell me. AITA for being hurt by this? Would you avoid telling your partner this if your parent asked you not to? TLDR: Boyfriends mom asked boyfriend not to tell me my mom declined me a fancy soccer scholarship as a teenager. He kept it a secret for 4 months and now I feel betrayed and he thinks it’s unfair for me to be hurt by it.Edit: update of my conversation with my mom in the comments.,AITA for being hurt my boyfriend didn’t tell me my mother declined a soccer scholarship for me when I was a teenager.,NTA
10tgsnn,"I (F25) grew up without a dad. He was in the picture until I was about 6-7 years old, after that MIA for the next 10 years. I grew up with my mom (mentally unstable but doesn’t admit it). I had pretty hard childhood, sometimes nothing to eat, sometimes we even lived without electricity. When I turned 16 I left home, got my first job and my own apartment. My dad contacted me in 2015 and I agreed to meet him. I wouldn’t say that we discussed our issues, we rather concentrated on the present and the future. After few months of talking to him (we live in different states) he announced that he is having a baby with his girlfriend. I had no problem with that, technically it is my half-sister (8 y/o) but I take her as my real sister. We don’t meet often but when we do I am very happy to see her, I also get along very well with her mother, I’d say even better than with my dad. But in no way I take her as my stepmom since I’m already a grown up. Ever since my sister was little she said “I love you” very often to close family. Whereas I have never said it to anyone, except my boyfriend and even then it took me a long time. So I’m not used to say it to anyone else, I just don’t feel comfortable. My dad gets mad every time my sister says “I love you” and I don’t say anything back. I am mad at him since I didn’t have the childhood and environment where I could have said it and mean it from the bottom of the heart, I just didn’t have (and still don’t) that kind of relationship with my parents. In my eyes it’s their fault that I had the childhood that I had and I don’t think I could say “I love you” since they don’t deserve it. So AITA for not saying “I love you” to my sister?",AITA for not saying “I love you” to my 8y/o sister?,NTA
10sr0wi,"I 23 am the oldest of five siblings and I am a full time student. I also have a part time job in my field but when I complete my after degree  my employer will take me on full time.  I make enough from part time to pay for school and put money aside. My siblings range from 20-10.  Both of our parents work full time. I have taken on a lot of the responsibilities for keeping everything running in the house.  I do the grocery shopping, the laundry as well as making suppers and doing meal prep so everyone has lunches ready to take every day. I also get all my siblings to do their part with regards to household chores.  For example my youngest brother is responsible for feeding and walking the dogs.  So I make sure that there is dog food in the storage and poop bags on the leash.  My dad works very long hours and my mom works 9-5 at a hard job.  Over Christmas I had a chance to buy a PS5 for myself so I did.  The rest of my family is still using a shared PS4.  I keep mine in my room and I do not share.  My parents started fielding complaints from my oldest brother about how I made so much money and I don't share the things I buy for myself.  Totally true.  So they had a talk with me where they brought this up.  I pointed out how much of the household work I did and they said it wasn't fair that o was earning so much money without contributing. They told me how much they expected from me.  I went to my room and did the math.  If I gave them what they wanted I would have about $800 a month left over.  If I dropped a couple of classes next semester I could go to almost full time hours with my employer and and it would only be one more year until I graduated with my second degree.  But I could afford my own place and I would have way more free time and disposable income.  I packed up and moved out. Everything I owned fit in my car.  I stayed at an Airbnb for two weeks until I could get everything sorted with an apartment, school, and work.  It was great.  I'm not going to lie I may have gone a little overboard on Tinder.  I couldn't have women over to my parents house.  I just moved into my own apartment.  I'm staying part time until I finish this semester.  I will work full time over the summer and go to a lighter class load/higher work hours in the fall.  My oldest brother has been tasked by my parents to do everything I used to do.  His chores have been split up with the other three.  They are all pissed at me for moving out.  My parents are upset that I left them in the lurch.  My siblings are mad that they all have more chores.  My oldest brother is especially salty because he has no free time to see his girlfriend and she isn't allowed in the house when my parents aren't home.  I'm enjoying my free time.  I bought myself a plant from IKEA.    I feel bad for screwing them all over but it didn't make sense for me to do all that work and pay rent on top.#EDITAll the chores were split fairly.  I wasn't doing any more than anyone else.  I thought it was fair until I was asked to out in money as well.",AITA for moving out when my parents asked me to pay rent.,NTA
10tsk1q,"I [24F] wear semi-permeant hair extensions that are fused to your own hair by a specialist, and the cost of the hair and install is pricey. Hair alone usually runs me about $1200, and getting them installed is another $400. I also am tattooed, and my regular artist was away traveling but I was itching for a new tattoo. I have one on my neck that I have wanted to get colored. I figured that because the tattoo was already done, I was fine going to another artist and I called around a few of the ""walk in, no appointment needed"" shops in my area to ask if they’d color it in. I did end up finding one who had an opening. He was an older guy who did a lot of traditional work, so was fine to just put flat color. The tattoo starts behind my ear and wraps to the front of my throat. So artist had me down on a table on my side, with my hair pulled back. When he was done he gave me a mirror to look.  I immediately notice that there is blue ink splattered into my hair on the side of my head, and freaked out a little bit and asked the artist if he could wipe it off. He got short with me and wiped it a few times, but it wouldn't come out. Told me that I would have to go home and wash it with dish soap. I trusted his opinion, so I paid and left.When I got home I tried washing my hair but nothing would make it come out. I texted pictures to my stylist, and she confirmed that I would have to have the extensions in that area replaced entirely to fix.I emailed screenshots of the conversation to the shop owner. I said I was upset my hair had been ruined and that I would have to pay hundreds of dollars to fix. I also asked if it was normal for that much ink to be splattered (and, if so, why the artist hadn't warned me or covered my hair during?). Owner offered to refund me the cost of the tattoo so that I could put that towards having my extensions professionally fixed. I took the refund, and did use it to pay my stylist.I had been venting to friends in our group chat, and one friend “April” started laying into me saying I was being a ""brat"" by accepting the refund for something that wasn't the artists fault. She thinks that the shop will reimburse me by taking away the payment from the artist- I said that I figured the owner had some sort of refund budget as part of shop expenses but she called me naïve and said I had no idea how small businesses work. April also said that it's not the artist's fault I choose to wear expensive extensions, and would I have done that if it had only gotten on my actual hair that didn’t cost over a grand. I said that if fixing it was just as expensive then yes I would have. April acted like that was a ridiculous answer. She thinks I am being a Karen and that I should return the refund. My other friends are not picking a side, so they aren’t agreeing with April but they also aren’t disagreeing with her. I really don't feel like I'm in the wrong here, but the reactions are worrying me...AITA?","AITA for making my tattoo artist ""pay"" for my hair extensions?",NTA
10ttqxs,"My husband and I have been renting a house for a few years now and recently our landlord has decided to sell. In an unusual move they asked if we would be interested in buying, we agreed we would, if the price was right. Fast forward a little while and I get a message from the landlord saying they have a price and are we still interested? The price is well over what husband and I think the property is worth and although not really outside of our affordability, more than we want to spend. We then look at some different properties in our range, put in some offers and one was accepted. I have also messaged the landlord back and said thanks but unfortunately too pricey. Landlord comes back and asks what our price range is and I tell her something which is actually a little lower than our full range. She then comes back to say the lowest they can accept is actually this amount, a price within our range and almost £10,000 less than she’d originally stated.The property we have had an offer accepted on is same bedrooms and roughly same size but has a garden and a drive which our current property doesn’t. It’s also on a lot cheaper(mainly cos it needs updating decor wise but that’s not an issue for us). I think the other property is a better investment as we have recently had a baby and the other property would be better longer term for him and a possible sibling to grow up in due to it having a garden and being in a much quieter area.Since the price of the current property has come down my husband seems to think we should stay where we are. I have been honest and told him, I still think they are asking for more than the property is worth and that I don’t see us living there for more than a few years whereas with the other property I could see us there maybe not for life but for a good length of time. I think he just wants to take the easy option as he has done this before when we faced a similar situation. He got a bit irate with me and now I’m wondering if I’m being an asshole for insisting we buy the other property?EDIT: over the weekend he has come round and realised that the other property is a better investment long term.I say the offer of buying the property is unusual as having had a similar situation a few years back we weren’t offered that option and others we know who have rented have also had the same experience of just being served a notice giving 60 days to move out.Also re offer accepted on the other property i dunno how it works elsewhere but here we can back out up to exchange and I think even then you have a 7 day grace period. You might still have certain fees to pay but there isn’t a financial penalty as such.",AITA for not wanting to buy the house we rent?,NTA
10um0ff,"I (F19) came to college and became really close with T(F19). We are in a huge friend group. We are all now sophomores and T and I had some problems that ultimately ended our friendship. She was very inconsiderate and would do things to her own benefit. In certain situations, she didn't think about how her actions hurt people and in other cases, she thought about her actions but didn't care who she would hurt as long as she got what she wanted. That was one of the main things I have a problem with. After that, I sat in my room for a period of time depressed and even didn't eat for a full 24 hours. I distanced myself from the friend group and left the group chat we had. It's not that I hate T, I just am completely disappointed in her and my anxiety gets extremely bad around her. T has tried to talk to me about our friendship, but it came off as passive-aggressive and I felt like I was being gaslit and I had basically kicked her out of my room.In comes a mutual friend L(F20). L had a very neutral approach and made it clear that she was friends with both of us even though T asked her who's side she was on. It got to a point where L wanted us to have a mediation so we could co-exist in the same space because she saw I was isolating myself but didn't want to cut T off just because of me. I agreed to it, but after some other situations in which I had to be around T, I'm thinking about canceling the mediation. My anxiety just gets completely bad around her and I don't fully know how to control my anger. I don't want to be the angry person I used to be and just go off and say something disrespectful.WIBTA?",WIBTA If I Canceled My Mediation With Someone In My Friend Group?,NTA
10ubb9g,"My siblings (16m and 14f) and I(15f) were stay at my grand parents house due to a big problem in ours, by the end of it my grandparents had enough of it so we went to stay at our uncles house, my uncle said we should cook our grandparents dinner so we did at least me and my brother anyway, we first had to do shopping we had a 50$ budget so we had to work around that me and my brother did all that shopping will my sister looked at cake just because she wanted to, when it came the day we had to cook my cousin(20f) had asked if any of us wanted to hang out me and my brother both said we were busy but my sister said yes and went, meanwhile me and my brother were cooking all day I even had to go the the shops because we had a change in plan, got lost twice and she still wasn't back, she said she would be back when dinner started and she was back 30 minutes after it started, when I said she free loaded the whole day I was told ""it's your fault you didn't go out too"" and ""you didn't have to cook"" and ""you could of left it all to your brother, it's not like your the only one who can cook"" I am the only one who can cook with out help last time my brother and sister did everyone got food poisoning. She free loads all the time but people don't believe me when I tell them. AITA",AITA For telling my sister she's a free loader and probably wont make it dar because of that,NTA
10u8kp2,"To keep this short and simple, i am always taking notes in class, no matter the subject. All the while, my ""friends"" are talking and talking and talking. Now, we have our computer exam tomorrow and my friend asked me for the notes of the lessons there in the exam.  I lied and told her i hadn't taken any notes of those lessons. I do feel a little guilty for not lending the notes but i feel like they always come to me if they need anything. They won't talk to me otherwise and ignore me. And plus when i ask for notes, they won't send saying that everything's from the lesson only so read that. AITA?",AITA for not lending my notes?,NTA
10ud01a,"Hello Reddit, this is my first post here. I have heard a lot of these stories, but now I finally have my own story. This is DnD related, but I assumed I could post it here since it's me wanting to approach the DM outside of the game.So, let me start by saying this is a sea campaign. We are a crew of adventurers/merchants. Delivery Boys kinda lol. Our captain (the player I think is getting a lot of favoritism) is a level higher than us, and from the very get-go, the DM decided he would be the Captain. Why? Well, because the player is the oldest according to our DM (even though we have a player or two who have a bit of age on that player). I myself am 21, although I am young and the character I'm playing wouldn't suit it well. So, we began and went through, and I started to notice that the captain was getting some exceptionally... Lucky things. Legendary Magic Items (we started at level 3. We are level 4 now. He was a level ahead of us), stronger weapons, more loot.Now, look, I get he's the captain. But the explanation he gave for having him have a higher level is because he's an experienced sailor in his backstory. The thing is, some of us have that same sorta backstory where we have prior experience. But this lead to a head (at least in my mind). Last session, we did an extremely hard dungeon where we fought a crazy set of final bosses (A Zombie Beholder, Ogre, Skeletal Owlbear, and a Warlock with a Flame Tongue Longsword. All of them given multiattack (if they didn't have it already). I spent my time wailing on the warlock because he was the main threat in my character's eyes. I did get something from him (Maybe the talisman his powers are tied to, I still have no clue), but the captain immediately grabs the flame tongue long sword (OH yeah, he's a fighter whose level 5 and already is outdamaging everyone because... Well, you know... Extra Attack and Action Surge and Two weapon fighter).I am feeling frustrated because it feels like everything is specifically meant to go to him. Hell, when this DM's son was playing, he had a specific side question that would give a super powered weapon specifically for his son. I usually am a total doormat, but I really like DnD and the idea of this campaign. These are my friends, but I'm starting to feel the closer friendships are going to keep being handed out powerful stuff while everyone else is stuck kinda sprawling. Would I be the asshole if I approached the DM to perhaps explain how I feel?Quick edit: To clarify, I'm playing Bloodhunter (at my DM's request), so I am a Frontliner too",WIBTA if I approached my DM about possible Favoritism,NTA
10u9867,"So I (16M) and I live with my sort of adopted dad who I consider my real dad now and is pretty much the best parent anyone ever had but im not sure if im being an ahole to him.I asked my bf but he said its family stuff and he doesn’t want to get involvedI dont live with my bio dad anymore because my stepmum and her daughter are impossible to live with and bitches to me 24/7. We had lots of conflict until recently about a box of my dead mums things like jewelry and photos and diaries that will be mine when I turn 18. My stepsister kept taking the jewelry and wearing it on TikTok and stuff and my bio dad would make her stop but never punish her and i lose my temper which is bad and she does it again. A couple of weeks ago she posted a bit from my mums diary online and I lost my shit and some of my girl friends at school cussed her out and my stepmom had a huge go at my adopted dads bf it was a huge mess.Anyway my bio dads house got robbed and the box with all my mums stuff was taken and some other stuff. They were at a school concert and of course they instantly blamed me but I was on a surprise trip to London with my uncle and my bf that my real dad arranged so I had a perfect alibi, my uncle even had tons of selfies of us in London so no way it could have been me.I did have to go to the police station though and my real dad came with me and was awesome the whole time because I was nervous. Thing is he kinda flirted with the police lady while we were there and got her to tell him they probably wouldn’t go any further with the investigation because they pretty much can never solve these things.Heres where I think I might be the ahole. Im really sad that the only things I have of my mum are gone and I really want to do something so I’ve been bugging my real dad (not my bio dad he doesn’t care) about it all week. Usually he will do anything to help me but hes been kinda not bothered. Like hes been nice and done tons to cheer me up but he wont do anything to make my bio dad chase the police and he wont call them himself. He just keeps saying itll be fine but its not fine. I asked him to get his really good mate who used to be in the police but investigstes stuff privately now to try and find them and he flat out refused even though I can pay with my own money. So yesterday I said if he wasn’t going to help I’d call the police myself and he totally lost it at me. Only time hes ever shouted at me in 7 years. He apologised straight away and I forgave him and we made up.He shouted at me to drop it and im going to but am I the asshole for keep bugging him about it all week and am I the asshole because I’m still low key pissed off and I still want to do something?",AITA for bugging my dad about wanting to do everything I can to get back my dead mums things?,NTA
10txxns,"I work in a secured environment where there's Tier 1, Tier 2 and System Administrators that work there along with some supervisors and a boss. Last year I managed to catch a job announcement that was for a Tier 2 position and decided to apply for it. None of the other Tier 1s saw it because none of us got an email saying they put it out.When my coworker discovered this after the announcement has closed, he came to talk to me about it and said if he knew, he would have applied because he's been there for years and feels as though he was ready for it. I told him I decided to back out because I changed my mind and I wasn't gonna apply again because I didn't think I wanted it. Flash forward to last month and another Tier 2 job opened again. I mentioned it to him and he applied to it. I told him good luck and since none of the other Tier 1s wanted it or had enough experience, he would probably get it in favor of outside applicants.However, after thinking about it and talking to a few friends and some coworkers, I have decided to apply. A supervisor said at least it would be good interview practice and another said that he would've done the same if I was in his position. A coworker said that he's been here for years and 3 people that came after him have already been promoted to Tier 2. I just feel conflicted that I had given him my word, but changed my mind. I feel that I have a great shot considering all the extra work I've done from reorganizing our media inventory to helping out and even getting some System Admin responsibilities to help out. I feel like he would be upset if I managed to get it before him, but it seems like he's riding on how long he's been there rather than his contributions to get the job.AITA?",AITA for telling my coworker I wouldn’t apply for the internal position but did anyways?,NTA
10tmeie,"My (30f) husband (33m) and I got married three years ago, we have a three year old daughter and a good relationship between us. However, his mother never liked me or even pretended to. At all my in-laws' family celebrations that I attended, she made a point of calling my husband's ex wife. They broke up 5 years ago, but my mother-in-law has not gotten over the breakup and continues to insist on their reconciliation even though he is married and has a daughter. The reason for this is because in addition to being my husband's first wife, she is the daughter of his mother's best friend who died, so she has always treated her like a daughter. Initially I didn't care about the bad treatment, as I thought that after we announced that we were getting married, her penny would sink in. But it wasn't like that. She called my husband's ex wife to my wedding without my permission, called her to my husband's birthdays and all with the excuse that ""she is family"". I couldn't stand it, but I got over it for my husband and our daughter's sake. Last week, my father-in-law passed away due to a medical condition that had no treatment. The whole family was sad because he was an amazing man. Unlike my mother-in-law, he always liked me and said I was a good person, unlike my husband's ex-wife because she was bad for his son (his words). We traveled about 2 hours to get to the place where the funeral would take place. It wasn't two minutes before we arrived and my mother-in-law was already making a scene against me, yelling things like: ""This is your fault"", ""you're a homewrecker "" and ""I wish it was you"". She tried to stop me from seeing my father-in-law, but my husband wouldn't let me and I was able to briefly say a final goodbye. My daughter was at the reception with my sister-in-law as I didn't want her to see her dead grandfather. After a while I went to stay with her so that my sister-in-law could stay with her father. Shortly after, my husband's ex wife comes in and looks at me at the reception with a strange smile and greets me saying that she was very sorry about the death of ""her father-in-law"" and that it is a difficult time for everyone.I foamed with rage and the only reason I didn't attack her was because of my daughter. I spoke to my husband and he said he wouldn't leave as it was his father's funeral. I understood him, but if I stayed one more second in that place I would have a fit. I called an Uber and left home because I didn't want to stay there with my daughter who also wanted to leave. On the same day he called me asking where I was, when I said I was at home he yelled at me asking how I had the nerve to do this to him when he needed me. I explained why I didn't want to stay there anymore, but even then he said that I was heartless and empathetic to him and could have waited. Now he's not talking to me and I'm wondering if I was an AH. So AITA? I don't speak english*",AITA for leaving my husband alone during his father's funeral?,NTA
10t8gj6,"I 46f am a lesbian and have been with my wife for 20 years. We have 3 children together, ages 18Bree, 16m and 12m.Bree is in college and has recently started dating this girl Nala. They’ve been together about 2 months. Nala is a nice girl I met her once but Bree has never had any interest in woman. Her whole childhood was her obsessing over Justin Bieber or One direction, her whole room was filled with posters of them. She knew she could be comfortable coming out if she was. She’s made comments to her brother how it feels weird kissing her, and she doesn’t know how their moms do it. My wife and I both agreed that this was just college experimenting. I know this is a new world, but I also know my daughter.A few days ago we were on the phone and Bree told me Nala was telling her she should quit her extra curricular, and focus on her major. I reminded her that without soccer she has no scholarship, and how she expected to pay for it. Well of course Nala has this idea on how to handle it. We got into a pretty heated argument over it. She said something to me like “You guys don’t care about my mental health like Nala does!” I snapped and told her “stop saying that your not even gay!” She got upset and called me a “mega AH” and accused me of being “homophobic” (even tho I’m gay) told me she was dropping soccer, and hung up the phone.  She won’t return my calls or text and she lives 4 hours away on campus. I got a little crazy and looked Nala up on Facebook and texted her asking her to have Bree get back to me, and Nala left me on seen. This upsets me because I never meant to put my input in, she can love who she wants to love, I want her happy, but I do think she’s moving extremely too fast into unknown waters.",AITA for telling my daughter she wasn’t gay?,YTA
10tznyq,"Throwaway just in case.My(F25) fiance (M34) and I plan to get married this year.  We've  been together since 2021, we live together and are both sure the other is our person. The problem isn't an in relationship issue but on his family's side. He has 2 siblings M(33) and F(31). Fiance's brother lives in another state so his girlfriend  reached out to ask when we were getting married so they could make time to be there. Fiance and I had thrown  around some plans but had nothing  concrete  besides wanting to get married this year. Our dating anniversary is the 1st of October. While this is fine, we figure weddings don't have to coincide with the same month as your dating anniversary. I also wasn't  keen on having to celebrate my wedding anniversary in the same month as my birthday which is in the middle of October.  I asked Fiance if he was okay with  switching  the date by a month(we both wanted a fall wedding for cooler temps). We chose to get married September  9th instead. We reached out to let our families know. Fiance's sister was livid that we chose September because her and her wife also married in September.  However the date we picked is not the same and they married years earlier.Fiance and I think its unreasonable  to be upset over sharing  a same month anniversary.  Am I the asshole for not wanting to change the date?",WIBTA if my fiance and I marry in Sepetmber,NTA
10u2628,"My mom and dad originally got divorced in 2013. She found a new man, which was my stepdad. We should call him Rob. Rob was very rude to me and my siblings, but I could tell the only reason he ever stayed with us was cause of my mom's body. He verbally and physically abused me many times and never really gave me anything, unless it was because to show my mother ""how great of a father"" he is. He has emotionally wrecked me up these past couple years, along with my siblings. He has made all of my siblings have terrible mental health, and experience lots of pain for just no reason. You could tell I tried to quickly move out as fast as possible, I just couldn't take being there. I moved out in 2019. He later then died in 2023, not long ago. Just a few weeks ago. My mom urged me to attend his funeral, as ""he always showed care for me and loved me"". I tried telling her why and she would not believe me or trust me, and she kept telling me to go. I insisted that I would not be going to his funeral, and I don't wanna see his body or anything of him again. Am I the Asshole?",AITA for not attending my stepdads funeral?,NTA
10u5tw8," I (F26) bought a van in Dec, my friend (M35) had offered to help me with it as something we could do together. The option of just cleaning and fixing it up to sell was talked about from the very beginning as backup.We worked on it together. He would insist on buying parts I didn’t need or Intended to pay for myself. He wouldn’t always let me pay him back & insisting. I started to feel pushed into accepting help I couldn’t easily return. He would drive it around & didn’t always disclose to me his usage. At one point he used it to tow without proper equipment & didn’t tell me.In Jan, he would complain to others that I was not contributing when it had only been due to bad weather. Hesring other mean things said behind my back causd me to feel uncomfortable with the commitment. I had confronted him nicely about it & he lied then continued to talk shit to others. My dog started having expensive health problems, causing financial & personal reasons to give up the van.  Justly, he was unhappy to hear this, but I offered him first dibbs, low cost (2k) & 3months to pay. He couldn’t afford it, asking for more time, but I would be out of state then & do not wish to hound my friends for payments. Plus the van would already be in his possession. He suggested I look elsewhere. When I did, he flipped a switch. Suddenly there were issues with the van I was unaware of.  Which of course his reasoning was that he wanted to fix and replace it all as a “surprise” after I already told him to stop being so generous & let me pay for things myself.  Considering I wasn’t previously aware of these issues, I assumed it was something he caused with his usage. I was wrong. Before, things seemed fine. wheels were offered as a cosmetic upgrade & I said no if it’s in good working condition. He had the opportunity to tell me about the issue & decided not to. Plus, I didn’t understand “busted front end” to me meant front of the vehicle which is where he towed from & assumed he caused that. He claimed he had to park it weeks ago, but had driven it a few days before without telling me.  He finally admitted he was upset I was asking for 2k when he thinks his contribution should lower it, but didn’t communicate it. We both apologized & tried to move forward. I asked how much I’d owe him & he said I didn’t. No number or list of his work. So, I planned to pay him 10%, and offer an installation to the buyer for $200 for him.I thought all was well until he vented to my girlfriend that he was upset because he did 1k worth of labor (never mentioned) & that I was taking advantage of him & blaming him for breaking the van… after we had just talked it out. She was taken aback by his sudden change in tone. I asked him if we needed to talk more things out. He blew up at me, cussing me out; friendship over.I can understand his frustration, but I do not know if his anger is justified. he was understanding until the reality of the sale set in. AITA?",AITA for changing my mind about a project van?,NTA
10ts9i5,"I (25f) am the MOH of my best friend's (25f) upcoming wedding. I have spent almost a year & over $1000 doing things for her bachelorette/ wedding. I have not complained once about anything, I have gone above & beyond on gifts, decorations, & plans to make everything perfect for her. I have asked her for zero to little help with anything. I live in about 3000 miles away from her, so travel has been an issue in planning & $$ costs but I have flown there for all the big stuff (wedding dress shopping etc). The bachelorette is in May & the wedding is in June. This last week she (the bride) decided to tell me that she invited my ex to her wedding. She did not ask me how I felt about it, simply just said she had already invited him. For some background context - he is not just any ex. He is a level 3 registered S/O. We dated in middle school & highschool for many years. Per Reddit I am not allowed to go into detail the things he did to me & other women. Let's just say he's horrible & ended up in prison for it.  I had the power to put him away when we were 17 & my family & I had a full case with the district attorneys office. For my own personal reasons back then, I decided not to ruin this man's life at 17. Had I had known he would end up in prison anyway- I should have pursued the case. The bride said that she didn't think inviting him would be a big deal considering ""it's been YEARS & we have both matured & moved past it."" What he put me through was not something ever gets over in their entire lifetime. Further than that- when I did tell her I was uncomfortable with it she then proceeded to tell other bridesmaids that I was being ""selfish per usual."" She has two children of her own ( boy- 5, girl -8 months) so why she would want a registered S/O at her wedding anyway is beyond me. She says that he was her best friend in highschool & they have matching tattoos (as if that's an excuse for who he is as a person). I could stomach being the bigger person & still attending her wedding knowing he'd be there, even though my mother has made it clear she cannot be within 25 miles of him(she was invited as well). The reason I'm so upset & no longer want to be in her wedding/ her friend at all is her treatment towards me in all of this. She has bad mouthed me to other bridesmaids behind my back & could not understand why this might bother me at all. I have bent over backwards to make everything perfect for her & spent thousands of $ of my own money for everything. To me it seems I'm the bad guy no matter what I do- so now I have no desire to be around her or continue to finish the bachelorette/ spend more of my $ to be at her wedding. My entire family + friends + other bridesmaids we grew up with have all agreed this is fd up & shouldn't have been an issue from the first place. She still doesn't see an issue with it. I feel beyond hurt, betrayed, & unappreciated. AITA for wanting to drop out & be done with it/ her?","AITA for wanting to drop out of my ""best friends"" wedding?",NTA
10tqyyc,"I (21f) and my boyfriend (bf)(22m) have been together for 3 years now. We live in long distance. I come from a poor household with almost no family. Growing up I learned that I don't need much to be happy and I don't like useless 'stuff'. I also learned that when you don't have money people expect you to do whatever they want you to do to get money. That is why I learned to only do things that I really want to do and not bec other people want me to do.Whenever I visit my bf I feel uncomfortable because I don't really get along with his parents. bf is an only child and treats his parents like gods (maybe a bit exaggerated but you get what I mean) and he expects me to also treat them like this.His mum (MIL) buys me a lot of 'stuff' for christmas etc. I tell her everytime that I don't want gifts, but she keeps doing it. I talked to my bf about that but he said something like ""let her do that. It's her love language"" I replied ""I feel uncomfortable receiving gifts and I want her to stop"". He didn't say anything to that. Back to last christmas. She got me a bunch of 'stuff'. bf gave me the presents in private bec he was visiting me. He then asked ""aren't you happy?"" I replied ""no. I didn't want anything and these are things I won't use"". He got upset and wanted me to text his mom thank you. I said okay and did bec I want to keep the peace.Let's talk about the title. I don't really have a sweet tooth, actually I get pain in my teeth from sugar. I visited bf and MIL baked a cake. bf asked me if I wanted a piece and I said ""no I don't like cake but thank you"". He said ""you don't know if you like this cake until you  taste it"" i shaked my head and said ""no thank you, I don't want cake right now"". He got upsed and said ""MIL would be happy if you would eat it."" Notice MIL standing in the kitchen with us. I shaked my head again and smiled but inside I was furious. I wanted to say something like ""why should I do something, that I don't want to do just to make another person happy AND get tooth pain from it?"". But I didn't bec I didn't want things to get awkward with her in the room. Bf was very pissed about it and kept on saying how happy she would have been. Yes I understand that he wants MIL to be happy. But what about me? Why can't he stand up for me? Why can't he just tell her "" pls dont buy OP presents, she doesn't like that"" or ""no problem if you don't want to eat cake. I know you're not a big cake eater"" But in his eyes I am ungrateful. MIL knows about my childhood and wants to spoil me. Yes, maybe she means no harm but that is exactly what she does.AITA for not being grateful enough?",AITA for not eating my MILs cake,NTA
10ty2bu,"I (30F) am taking a medication that’s making it hard for me to eat. I ended up in the hospital because I was super malnourished. My mom (56F) felt worried about me and invited me to dinner at her home. An hour or so before I’m to come over, she calls me and says she’s invited a bunch of my uncles and aunts and some other people - and they’re coming over with food to all hang out. I told her I wasn’t comfortable seeing a lot of people yet since I’m still pretty sick. To which she responded “I’ll just see you another time then.”AITA because I feel sad she didn’t make it a priority to see me since I’ve been out of the hospital? Or am I being too bratty?",AITA because I’m not going to my moms dinner party after coming home from the hospital?,NTA
10u5a79,"Hello, I(33F) am a single mon to 2 kids (10m) and(9F). Both of them are special needs. Any way, a while ago, my mom decided she wanted to go and pursue her dreams and left my little sister who was 18 and still in high school at the time, in an apartment with her mentally Ill boyfriend and  friend of hers. She never taught my sister bath about being an adult and my sister chose not to go to college. She did however get a good job paying her 40k a year and she has no kids. My mom has another apartment in another state as well as some other potential assets. Well her plans didn't go as she planned them and she can't afford to pay the rent for the apartment my sister and her friend lives in. She asked me and my boyfriend to pay her half. I asked why my sister couldn't just pay the rent since she has the money and she lives there. I recently just bought a house. Her mentally ill boyfriend ran away and Has not been seen in months. I recently found out where he is. She knew this the entire time and didn't tell me and my boyfriend.. so we decided to stop paying her half because she lied to us. She's  been manipulative toward me my entire life and is the reason I have major depression disorder and anxiety. When I did live with them , they didn't help me with my kids and blamed everything on my kids and made life difficult for me, my mom even tried to make me pay half the rent and I was sharing a room with my kids and paying the utilities and some luxury bills like Netflix and other apps. There were four (4) abled body working adults in the house at the time... so i held back and told her I won't do it. Why should I pay half the rent when we all work?  She kicked me and my kids out the house a few times too...I don't want her or my sister to live with me. And I'm not going to help her with the rent. She won't make my sister grow up.  And take responsibility as an adult.. so Reddit, AITA for not helping and letting them figure out what to do on their own?",AITA For Not Supporting My Mom During A Difficult Time,NTA
10tw7xp,"28M and I’m getting married in June. The backstory of my friend group is that I’ve had my best friends all since like 8th grade. We all went to highschool together and I even went to college with one of them. There’s 5 others in the group besides me. Naturally people drift a bit after college and going into adult lives. I ended up moving out of state but we all frequently play video games together and go on trips so we are all just as close. Well besides one guy “Darren”. He’s still a good friend of mine, but doesn’t share the same interests anymore. Doesn’t game with us. Never goes on trips or out with us when I’m in town. (He’s always invited he just never comes). Long story short, when it came to wedding party selection, I obviously have my brother and her brothers and whatnot. But I included the 4 guys from the group. Not Darren. Of course he’s still invited to the wedding and at a table with other friends he knows. Over the past few months I’ve been hearing through the grapevine things Darren is saying. Things like he’s upset that my wedding is in my home state, I’m being a dick for making people travel, and he might not come because of the expenses and time off work. And if he does come, he’s flying in day of and will probably miss the ceremony, and leaving first thing next morning. Overall negative energy about all of it. I feel like this all because of the wedding party. I’m debating calling him and telling him if he has all these issues don’t bother coming. I had a certain number of people for the party, I HAD to include certain family. Like, come on? I need to include him because we sat together at lunch in high school 10 yrs ago? He should know he doesn’t do as much with us and isn’t quite as close as the rest of us are. Some of my family is on his side. Saying I excluded him and I included everyone but him. I tried to explain my reasons and they said I should call him and apologize. Apologize for what? I’m not sure. But am I the asshole if I tell him just not to come?",WIBTA if I told my friend not to come to my wedding after hearing some of the things he’s saying?,NTA
10txq37,"I 28f have a 1 year old daughter. My husband (30m) and I have had a rule with our extended family about posting photos of our child on social media. We ask that they get permission from one of us before posting any photos as we don't want their pictures floating around to people we do not actually know ourselves. We understand that they want to share photos of their grandchild and niece/nephew, but we wanted to minimize it.  So, to be clear, it's allowed to have some photos of the child up. we just asked that they check with us beforehand, so nothing we might find inappropriate, like mostley naked/bath photos or anything cringe/weird. Backstory. My MIL has always had an issue with boundaries and very much so has the mind set of ""I raised 4 kids so I know better than you"" and ignores the boundaries we have put in place like no eating in the carseat while driving or no soda pop for the baby. Pretty basic things I feel like we shouldn't have had to outwardly express, but seeing her do this with our older nieces and nephews has warned us to put the boundaries in place from the get go. My husband and I rarely post photos of our kid on social media. I have about 5 photos from the first 18 months of their life, and my husband literally just has the birth announcement photo.I took about a 3 week hiatus from fb. During that time, my MIL posted about 30 photos of our child without asking my husband or I prior to posting them. Some were from the holidays, which I understand they are going to be in the background of the other grandkids' photos. but others were just random. I'm peeved by this, and it's frustrating that she honestly doesn't care about any boundaries we have out in place. My husband is annoyed, but let's most things go because she is impossible to argue with and always makes herself out as the victim and everyone else is the aggressor. Now the photos are not necessary a hill I am willing to die on. However, I do want to ask her to delete them so she understands that we are serious, and hopefully, she respects the rules we have put in place regarding social media. The photos have been up for about 6 weeks at this point. AITA, if I ask her to take them down and check with us before posting photos in the future? Oh yeah, we have a private photo sharing app that both of our families have been invited to and can see hundreds of photos that we, as the parents, share on an almost daily basis. My MIL literally has access to thousands of photos that are digitally backed up.Edit: For some more context as to why we have the rule in place to begin with. My husband works in cyber security as a red team operative. Basically, an 'ethical hacker' where his team is hired to steal information from companies then write reports on what they were able to steal and how so companies can fix the vulnerabilities before being hacked for ransom. So he's pretty sketched about having personal info online at all.I work in emergency medicine and have had/seen/heard terrible stories of SA and trafficking and how it was something as simple as ""sharing a location"" while at a restaurant or park and having a public profile. Also, just reading the messed up articles about digital kidnapping, stalkers, deep fake porn, or pedos saving the photos for fantasies. My career has led me to be extremely cautious in a lot of things in my life, with social media being a big one.",AITA for asking my MIL to delete photos of my child of fb?,NTA
10t6rpf,In 24f whos infertile and got a cat around 12 years ago and died last night. Today my sister visit and saw I was crying and then I told her the news and her reaction was it’s not as bad as losing a kid. My sister has three kids she never lost one and she also said that I had my other cat. The problem is my cats are the closest thing I can get to my own kid and I had her since I was 14 she is super special to me and can’t and won’t be replaced.I got angry and told her how my cat was the closest thing I had to a kid and how my cat was like family . Shorty later my sister left and then my mother and cousin with kids didn’t stop texting me how losing an animal is nothing like losing a child and I should be ashamed. I’m crying more and more AITA?,AITA For Crying Over My Cat,NTA
10ua5w8,"Hi, I'm not sure how to start this but basically me and my group of friends had this gc where we chat. My friend who I'll refer to as ""K"" for now is queer, and him and I are friends with 2 other girls. We're all somewhat queer.One saturday we were chatting about normal stuff that happened in our day, i was telling them about intrusive thoughts and how my mom is following her intrusive thoughts. (She was forcing herself to fit in the cat cage)We were laughing about it but suddenly K sent ""🏳️‍🌈?"" as a reply and we were confused. I said ""i don't get it"" but he ignored me and just sent laughing emojis.The conversation continued and said ""my mom is trying to hard to make herself fit"" to which K replied with ""lol i was thinking of something else😏😏🏳️‍🌈"" (sexual innuendo intended)I got irritated and said ""K stop that's my mom"" but he continued and said ""hehe""I've had enough of it so i said""K the way you make everything sexual isn't funny nor is it amusing""But he brushed me off and sent a crying cat picture. I continued to tell him that stop making everything gay and sexual because its not funny anymore.He just continued to sent crying memes while i was setting my boundaries about making sex jokes.Now I make sexual jokes in that gc sometimes but usually stop when people tell me they're uncomfortable with it. But K kept going and telling me ""oh but i learned it from you guys"" (he was a very innocent guy before he met us and he recently realised he was sorta queer too bcs of us)I wouldn't be mad if it was a sexual joke about anything else but i was mad about it because it was about my own mother.So i got really angry and said ""K stop making everything gay just because you don't have any personality""And told him ""as much as i hate my mother i don't appreciate you making sexual jokes about her"" i told him his jokes are not funny for the nth time but he would not take me seriously.So i left the gc, but he added me back and said ""Wow she has ressurected!"" and still made jokes about my anger. My other friend lectured him too about boundaries but he suddenly got real quiet in the gc.He was typing for a very long time then he suddenly said (this is a direct copy paste)""Kayo din naman eh 🥹(you guys are the same) ...whenever i try to start a proper conversation..i get IGNORED, But if i talk abou ""𝘚𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘨𝘈𝘢𝘠𝘺"" 𝘪 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘞𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨, Y'all Talk about your own 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 i try my BEST to understand all of you... But if i try to share mine... It's always ""Stop"".... Y'all never figured out WHY i tell😰😓"" those jokes""?""Before he left and unfriended me on every platform. I don't think I ignore him at all, i only frown at his occasional bad joke but I'm not sure because that's what he felt. And my other friend also said i was kinda harsh when i was lecturing him so i kinda feel like an AH so pls help me.EDIT: thank you for your replies, I still kinda feel bad about what I said so I'll apologize to him about that. But how do I get him to stop avoiding me? He refuses to talk to me or associate with me at all and me and my friend have no idea what to do",AITA for telling my friend he only makes gay jokes because he has no other personality?,NTA
10ujlau,"Okay, so a little body context; I have a friend with whom I have developed a ""situationship"". Let's call him N; N & I are not committed but we have casual fun & we have had a talk about what's on the table & what is not. Each time a new situation arises, I ask his opinion & thoughts on the matter & behave accordingly. One time I was exposed to a situation where I had received unsolicited pictures. It made me uncomfortable since N's feelings were to be considered as well & I felt he'd feel troubled by it. So to clear off any confusion, I asked if sexting & receiving images were alright (eg. prompting explicit photos to be sent from other people, encouraging it, etc.) & he said no. Since we both work at the same company, I requested his help with checking a few files from my side (he works under my peer). I had blamed him for quality issues as he maintains extremely careful checks with her whereas he increases my workload with the quality of checks ensured. This had been going on for the 3 days. Today we got a chance to meet, everything was lightly patted under the dirt & I agreed to myself to let it slide since I'm an extremely strict evaluator as compared to his manager. I had his phone in hand so I decided to change his wallpapers (he doesn't mind me having his phone). But in his gallery, I noticed a snap image of a girl showing off her body figure. So I questioned him about it & he told me she sent it out of the blue & asked to rate it. Viewing an image & letting it go is alright. But viewing it & saving it to the phone- I'm unsure of how to feel about it. This was not told to me either. Since we had ground rules set on this where I tell him everything & ask his opinion, he doesn't do the same with me. His response was ""I didn't know I should've asked"". This troubled me since I've been asking & do not receive the same sort of consideration.Overall, I had been extremely pissed at the situation & blocked him everywhere except on 1 platform so that he can still ask for help if he needs. Am I overreacting or is this normal?",AITA for getting pissed at my friend?,YTA
10tewd4,"I recently gave the ICAI Foundation exam and found out its result today. I had attempted this exam last year too but failed.I have a college classmate who likes to go around asking everybody who gives any competitive exams if they passed or failed. We don't talk much in class just on texts and that too just work related or if she needs notes or something.The 1st time she asked me about this was just after I had given my 1st attempt and found I failed. I noticed that she seemed really excited to talk about this topic and went around asking every classmate of mine who had given this exam what their results were.I thought that even she must have given this exam and wanted to discuss about it. But I later found that she hadn't. The way she jumped from one classmate to another so excitedly wanting to talk about it felt kinda weird to me. But I ignored it.Now, a few days before the results of my 2nd attempt were to be declared, while I was chatting with some of my friends & classmates, she came up to me again and excitedly asked me if I was waiting for the result and nervous about it or not. She also asked if this was 2nd attempt and when I said yes she got quiet and gave me look like she was judging/looking down on me. She did this in front of some of our classmates who I wasn't very close to and didn't comfortable telling this news too.And I was very much nervous about it. I am the type of person who puts much importance on academics, all my life I have always gotten good grades and always did well in whatever academic task I took up. I was so scared about this result that I put it out of my mind and had completely forgotten about it. I acted cool in front of my friends and classmates but inside I was was a nervous wreck.Today I got a message from her asking me again very excitedly if I had checked my results and I had passed or not. She already sent a congratulatory message without even knowing if I had passed or not. She may have just been being hopeful for me, but again I had forgotten about the result date and had a little panic attack reading her message. I quickly checked my result and I had passed.So, a while later I texted her thanks.She immediately asked to see my result page as if she didn't believe me and was acting very condescending. I told her I am not going to show her my results.I didn't feel comfortable sharing that with her and I had a feeling that she was just going to comment on how the marks I got very quite low or how her other friends had gotten more.I asked her why she wanted to see it and she avoided the question and just insisted that I show it to her. I refused again giving no reason why. Now she has been talking about me to her friends and our classmates that I was being rude to her and how I'm probably lying because I didn't want to show her my resultSo, AITA?",AITA for refusing to show my exam results to a classmate?,NTA
10twnhu,"I (23f) and my boyfriend(23m) have been together 4 years with no breaks, this year will be our 5th. His dream before we even met was to be someone of change. He couldn’t join the military for skin reasons, he’d need ointment all the time and they don’t allow that so he decided to become a police officer. The problem is that we live in a large city.  A city that has frequent protests and crime. He doesn’t have the mindset of some cops, he just literally wants to help but not everyone will see that. I’m truly scared he’s going to get hurt and killed because of this.I told him I’m scared of him getting seriously hurt because of the outrage on police lately, but he says he can change it. I told him he’s kind of ignorant in thinking one police officer doing right will change everyone’s minds and that no matter how much good you do you can still get killed. That pissed him off nonetheless and he hasn’t been talking to me for a few days. Aita for telling him that while I support it, I’m scared he’s going to die? He thinks I am He’s also going to be reading the commentsEdit: Thank you everyone for the responses, we went through them last night and there were some very valid points given, and we both are just thinking I have too much unwarranted anxiety about it and should probably research more. He’s going to still go through with it, as he should. I was the asshole for telling him he couldn’t make a change because sometimes all it does take is one person. He didn’t necessarily think that me saying that was being unsupportive but we both realized it was wrong of me to say nonetheless. As for someone wanting to be a police officer for the power, he is aware of that but it’s just not him. I’ve never seen him as someone who wants power, he is literally just the most caring guy in the world. He already helps our community on his free time, and that’s what brings him to want to do more. We are both going to be looking up on that corruption stuff cause neither of us knew that the “good” police officers are the ones who get fired for speaking out. Well he said he had a general idea, but I’m ignorant in that area. I appreciate all the responses! I’m going to settle down and be more supportive by just shutting up if I have a invalid concern as this one. This is his calling, and it’s not my place to say or do anything.",AITA if I tell him I don’t like what he’s going for but I support it?,NTA
10tlmzz,"​(I am using a throwaway because I don't want this in my main account)Hi everyone,  I'm an 19-year-old guy who has a 11-year-old sister. My parents both work full-time and they usually ask me to babysit my sister on weekends. I've been doing this for a while now and I don't mind it most of the time, but this weekend I have plans with my girlfriend since she will be away with her family on valentine's day.Here's the problem: my parents are asking me to cancel my plans and stay home to babysit my sister who is also having some friends over, yes I knew I was going to have this problem when I told my girlfriend that we can do stuff for the next couple days, but my parents usually don't mind me being busy and will usually ask one of our neighbors to care care of her, so none of this would be an issue if if I hadn't learned last night that her friends were also coming over, so I need to make them food and whatever else, we couldn't possibly ask anyone else to do that (and yes the girls have come over before so I know how to deal with them, their parents trust me as well.)I understand that my parents are working the weekend, but I  need a break from my responsibilities to enjoy my time. I've been working harddd to graduate and get into college lately and I just need a weekend off. I've been looking forward to this for a while now and I don't want to give it up.  I've tried to talk to my parents about this and I've told them that I don't want to give up my plans but they don't care. They say that I'm the only one who can take care of my sister and that I need to be more responsible since I don't pay rent, don't have a job, had to redo my senior year of hs (that's a whole other story) and have been living for free.I understand their point of view, but I feel like I've been taking care of my sister a lot lately and I just need a break.  I've also suggested that they ask one of their friends or family members to help out this weekend, but they don't want to impose on anyone else. I don't know what to do. I feel guilty for not wanting to babysit my sister, but I also feel like I deserve some time to myself. Am I the a-hole in this situation?",AITA for not wanting to babysit my sister and her friends this weekend?,NTA
10tkkns,"Obligatory long time reader, first time poster! And i'm on mobile so forgive any formatting issues.So I, 22M live with my partner, 25F and we're struggling for money until she gets paid in just under a week. I cooked her some chicken nuggets, she ate half in her room, and when leaving they slipped down the door, and were caught on the plate. Immediately she gets upset, saying how she can't eat them any more because she doesn't know how clean the door is (she's a real germophobe).After taking her plate downstairs, I scraped the remains into the garbage can, as she was insistent she wouldn't eat them. Maybe 10 minutes go by and she asks me where her chicken nuggets are, so I told her. Now she's pissed because she doesn't have much other food in and had changed her mind. This is rare, due to her germophobic nature- she'll reclean utensils over and over until they fit her standards, and won't hug me if I've been outside.Despite this, I do feel guilty as I was the one pointing out the door was clean, and I knew there wasn't much food left in the house, so am I the asshole?",AITA for putting her food in the garbage,NTA
10tyshw,"I (37m) am a domestic abuse survivor. I ended up at this house because I had to escape and my friends showed up for me. I will always be grateful for that. The house is owned by (40m) and also rented out by (32f). For this we will refer to them as M and F.M is very seclusive and has half of the house to himself. As he should. It's his house. F and I share a bathroom but have our own rooms next to each other. Once a week, around 7 or 8pm I will have my girlfriend over. Most of the time we just get takeout to eat while we watch a movie and then fall asleep. And we sleep. Think 11pm to 1pm (don't judge us). The next day I'll make some coffee and we will watch a show or play games until she goes home or we go out for dinner. The entire time she stays in my room unless she has to pee. It's not like we are being loud or obnoxious in any way. I even schedule it so that my roommates are usually gone for work since they get back at around 3am. The problem comes with F. She has an absolute meltdown every time. As soon as she gets a clue that my girlfriend is over she starts cursing and slamming things. She will go to the bathroom, slam the lid down when she's done, stomp across the hall, slam her door, and proceed to bang around in her room. It almost sounds like she's angrily assembling Ikea furniture. All the while I hear her cursing out loud. ""Fucking (girlfriend's name).""Before you get any ideas, she has her own boyfriend. I know him well and I am always respectful when I see him. We get along. It's fine with me. If he comes over I just throw in earbuds and read or draw. No biggie. Let them be.I confronted her once and she told me that my girlfriend is loud and makes a mess. To be fair, she does have a loud laugh. I love it. But we are asleep before anybody gets home until after they are already up. The mess part? I was told that there was a tampon wrapper in the bathroom trash. In the trash that I change out every day. Other than that she never even leaves the room because she is terrified of F at this point.On a side note, F will be just fine the rest of the week. But she is hyper-invasive. She just walks into my room and digs through my things to see what I have or look for candy. She will sit on my bed and light up a bowl and rub the ashes she drops into my sheets. I don't smoke weed but it doesn't bother me to be around it. It all stresses me out so bad that we have started looking for our own place. Which we wanted to do anyways. But in the meantime, it just doesn't seem like I'm doing anything to deserve this behavior.EDIT to provide additional information below:I was in a very abusive relationship for a long time. Nobody knew but I eventually cracked and told everyone. Next thing I know everyone is trying to help me. So I end up at this house living with two coworkers. I no longer work with them, but they are still there.M is very private. He owns the house but we mostly leave him alone. A bit eccentric in a quiet way. Never really speaks but sleeps in a tent in his room and cooks things at 4am. He can be very messy, but the kitchen is the only crossover point.F is adventurous. Always needs to be doing something otherwise she spirals into depressive episodes. She got mad once when I joked that she is the classic Hollywood manic pixie type. She has broken up with her boyfriend three times for one week since I moved here. You get the picture.I am a very quiet person. Like weirdly quiet. People crack jokes that I never stop talking. And it's the same living with me. I even walk quietly. Accidentally scare the shit out of people all of the time. I mostly keep to my room. When I eat, it is mostly takeout or microwave. I have my own coffee maker, paper towels, trash, recycling, and dishes. And I wash my few dishes with my own little soap and sponge in the bathroom. Super bachelor style. I only leave my room to piss, shit, shower, or leave the house. On the rare occasion that I do cook (which I miss badly) I will have to clean the entire kitchen first.",AITA for having my girlfriend over once a week?,NTA
10tvo8q,"I'm the IT guy for my department (HR), which is separate from the actual IT department. My position is something of a liaison where I assist with technical stuff in many ways, but some thing require special admins to do it, meaning I needed to make a trip to the upper floors to the IT department.Our IT department is just two guys, Rex and Pete (the latter being the one who I needed). I walk in and see that Pete is eating and he asks: ""What do you need?""Me: ""Oh, I need \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ done.""Pete: ""Okay, well I'm on lunch at the moment.""Me: (jokingly) ""It's okay, I'll wait.""I plop down on a couch they have in their office and then immediately jump back to my feet.Me: ""Just kidding, I'll come back in a while.""Pete: ""No, I'll do it now.""Me: ""It's not necessary, I'll just come back.""Pete: ""I've already got the system open."" (clicks a few things) ""There, you're all set.""I thank him and I leave his office. Two days later, my manage calls me into my office. Pete has put in a complaint about me for interrupting his lunch and asking work to get done. I tell my manager I'd made a simple joke, I'd clearly stated it was a joke, and that I'd said I would come back, but Pete had insisted he'd take care of it while I was there.According to Pete and my manager, I was being the AH for interrupting his lunch, despite Pete asking what I needed, and me making it clear I'd only joked and I could just come back later. So AITA here?",AITA for interrupting my colleague's lunch?,NTA
10t7qas,"For background, my stepfather is a CPA and has tons of sensitive information on his computer, including my own SSN as well as all of his clients sensitve information. I (21F) told my stepfather (74) that he had fallen victim to a gift card scam after he informed my mom he had been buying gift cards and giving away codes. He didn't believe me or my mom and continued to speak with the fraudsters on the phone, he believed they are from ""Paypal” and they also got him to put all  his money in Bitcoin and more gift cards by lying and saying it was to “protect his money.”He comes back after being gone for a while, and asks me if I know how to reach the command prompt on his computer. I refuse to show him unless he tells me why he needs to. He says that the people on the phone have asked to see his computer, and have had access to his computer for a couple of days. I tell him absolutely not and he ignores me, and goes back talking to the fraudsters on the phone. I raise my voice more, telling him that it he is being scammed. He mocks me by telling me that ""oh so you think you know everything"". At this point, I am just desperate for him to listen and so I yell at him to shut up, you are being scammed. He just says ""you can't speak to me that way, or I'll cut you off of the phone bill.”I tell him ""fine, because that won't change the fact that you got hacked."" He still keeps talking over me about how he knows what he is doing and that I have no clue what I am talking about. Meanwhile I try to explain why it’s a scam, but I tell him to shut up again multiple times because he refuses to listen. Each time I stop taking, he says that I can't tell him to shut up, and I'm not being nice.I tried the civil way as well by sending him and article about the gift card scam, but he hasn't responded to that. He thinks that I need to apologize because I was being disrespectful to him by yelling and telling him to shut up. And I don’t think I need to because I am not wrong about him being scammed. He also has a history of never listening to the women in the family until he faces consequences. For example, my mom and I told him not to let my ten year old brother on his computer. He didn’t listen and mocked us, until my brother spent $3000 on roblox, so now my brother has no access to his dad’s computer.",AITA for yelling at my stepfather after he got scammed and possibly hacked?,NTA
10tscf5,"Me and my boyfriend of 11 years live in a decent inexpensive apartment with our 2 month old. My in laws sold their home due to financial issues and are living in a hotel, due to having a large dog they can’t find an apartment and plan to never get a home again. Right now it would be to much for all 5 of us to live in our apartment together plus my own apartment building does not accept dogs. My boyfriend told me that when we get a house he would love to renovate our downstairs and keep his parents from renting and move them in and they would give us a small amount towards our future mortgage payment. I was shocked we had never discussed parents moving in when we talked about owning a home one day and I told him I never planned to live with either set of parents. This would also not be temporary this is permanent.I told him I don’t want to live with his parents, they are nice people but I never thought of having them live with us forever without ever experiencing my home as my own first? I also am someone who needs their own space and having privacy in my home is important to me.He told me I was selfish because he’s not going to let his parents be homeless if he could stop it and inevitably they will be when they can’t pay for the hotel anymore with the cash from their home. They are terrible with money and will deff not be able to pay for their future apartment. I told him I don’t want it, it will ruin us and he can have fun separating our family while tending to his parents who I think our selfish to even have this expectation of him. AITAH",AITAH for not wanting to live with my in laws.,NTA
10tvlr9,"I (23F) live with my parents (50s) and brother (24M), and am about to celebrate my one year anniversary with my boyfriend (23M) next month.To make a long and annoying story short, my boyfriend is not allowed to sleep over at my house, even when my parents are out of town (which is quite often). He’s not even allowed in my room when he visits, and we usually hang out in the basement.As annoying as this would be in any case, I wouldn’t really have a problem with this rule if it weren’t for the fact that this rule applies only to me and not to my brother as well. My brother had a girlfriend (that he recently broke up with) that was allowed to spend the night whenever she wanted. They started dating when my brother was 20 and were together for 3.5 years, but she started to spend the night early into their relationship (maybe about a month or two in). At one point her parents moved her elderly grandmother into her room when she became ill, and as a result she lived with us for six months. In my parent’s defense, this was not discussed beforehand. She just came to spend the night one day and didn’t go to her own house to sleep for 6 months straight. But they accommodated her without question, giving her a key to the house and a garage opener, and treating her like another member of the family and the household. It hurts me to know that this sort of kindness and acceptance would never be extended to my boyfriend.I try my best to suck it up and abide by their rules, but it has caused so much resentment in me that we have arguments about it occasionally. Especially because they get upset when I sleep over at HIS house and tell me that I’m not allowed to stay at his past 10pm on a school night (this used to be the rule in general, but I stood my ground and told them not to bother me about coming home early on the weekends. Even then, I still am home before midnight). They even get mad at me when I go to his house too many times in a row, and they say that he is the man, so he should be coming to visit me. I tell them that they’re being sexist and I’m only getting this treatment because I am a woman and that I don‘t want to hear their complaints because it was never an issue when my brother was doing it. Their response to this is, “It’s not because you‘re a woman, it’s because you’re a DAUGHTER and you will never understand until you have kids.”Before anyone asks or mentions it: I cannot move out. We live in a very expensive city and I am a full time graduate student. I am very financially dependent on my parents right now. They are great and generous parents, but this is a huge point of contention between us.I will continue to follow their rules, and deal with them being upset when I break their weird rules about visiting him. I just want to know if my frustration is valid or if I’m being a complete brat. Am I the asshole?",AITA for being upset that my parents wont let my boyfriend spend the night?,NTA
10t0b7o,"My wife & I have kids between 11-15 years old. Today I took her to the dentist because she broke a tooth. She had it pulled & a fitting placed (don’t know the exact term but it’s temporary until a full replacement). She’s very anxious about the dentist, so I was with her, reassuring her, handling the paperwork, driving her to & from, got her pain meds & antibiotics, and I’m taking all the parenting duties for the next 2 or so days.So, what did I do wrong? I told my kids, “mom had a tooth pulled. Please let her rest this weekend, if you need anything ask me.”I knew she was (weirdly) embarrassed about an extremely common dental procedure, so I didn’t mention it to anyone but the kids. While buying apple sauce & microwave mashed potatoes for her, I started getting texts about how I “betrayed” her, how she “fucking trusted you to keep this private,” on & on. I came home to her screaming at me that I was a fucking asshole etc. To be clear: the only people who know are the dental people, presumably the insurance people, my wife & kids, & myself. Also: it’s a tooth extraction?So, am I the asshole for telling my kids my wife got her tooth pulled, instead of just “mom went to the dentist and now she’s in pain”?",AITA for telling my kids my wife went to the dentist?,NTA
10tgctx,"I live in an apartment complex that is strictly smoke-free. That means tobacco, tea, cloves, marijuana, even vaping is prohibited. If you want to smoke, it must be done at least 25 feet from any structure. Over the two & a half years we've lived here, one of our neighbors (not sure which) would smoke pot on their balcony, which would waft up into ours. It reeks. I've notified the office on at least five different occasions, but nothing seems to help. Last night, we came home and the *inside* of our apartment smelled of pot. All our doors and windows were closed, and it seemed to have been localized to one of our bathrooms. So I sent the following:>***We just got back from an evening out, and discovered that our entire apartment smells like pot smoke. We have written and mentioned this issue several times in the past about having to smell it on our balcony, and nothing was done. Now there's apparently someone sparking up inside the building, probably because it's too chilly out to stink up the outdoors. My guess is there's a common vent in the guest bathroom, because that's where the smell is strongest. All of our doors and windows are closed, and yet the stench permeates the entire space.***  >  >***If you are unable to stop people from smoking in or around our residence, please let me know. I'd be happy to contact \[City\] Code Enforcement. They can be reached at \*\*\*-\*\*\*-\*\*\*\*. I could also reach out to the \[City\] Fire Marshall's office about the matter. Their number is \*\*\*-\*\*\*-\*\*\*\*. Better yet, I could drop a line to the local DEA Field Office. Their number is \*\*\*-\*\*\*-\*\*\*\*. I suspect they would be interested in the conditions here at \[Apartment Complex\]. Or perhaps I should just go straight to corporate. I'm sure you have their number.***  >  >***I am insisting that you take immediate action. I pay over two grand a month in rent, and I shouldn't have to come home to an apartment that reeks like a fucking Phish concert. If you prefer, you are more than welcome to pay for our hotel room until such time as this apartment no longer smells like illegal drugs, as outlined in YOUR two-page non-smoking addendum in the lease.***   >  >***Please keep me informed as to what actions you have taken, as I will absolutely be following up WHEN this happens again.***  >  >***Have a great day.***Friend says I may have gone too far. I made sure it didn't sound threatening. I just wanted to convey the idea that if they couldn't handle it, someone else would be bothered to do their job for them. AITA?",AITA For Complaining About Pot Smoke In My Apartment?,NTA
10ttgkc,"So I (22F) have a boyfriend Kyle (23M) that i currently live with. He has 3 friends/housemates and I have been staying with them for about a month. The place I worked at closed for good and I couldn’t keep up with bills for my own apartment so my boyfriend and his friends allowed me to stay with them. I have been trying to get a job, I’ve been applying to places and searching online but haven’t gotten any response. Kyle and his friends have been very understanding of my situation and have told me to not worry about rent until I can get a job. Since I haven’t gotten a job yet, I’ve been doing what I can to help around the house with chores and cooking. I do dishes, laundry and other things like that when they are working and I make food for them a lot. I have some money saved so i spend some of it on buying the ingredients for the food I make. I make whatever they ask for even if sometimes they want different things. I always make a lunch for them to bring to work and then also either dinner or breakfast every day. Kyle has no issue with me making lunches for his friends and he think it’s nice of me to do that. His friends are always very nice and thankful for the food, sometimes if they want something specific they’ll buy the stuff for it themselves and ask if I can make it. Recently Kyle and his friends invited some of their family over for dinner. Everyone took part in making and bringing food for the dinner. Kyle’s parents were there and they had asked how I was doing living with the guys here. I told them how I was doing good and that I’m still hunting for jobs but haven’t gotten any luck but that the guys here have been very nice to me. Kyle and his friends chimed in and talked about how I do chores and make food for them. They explained to them how I make specific food for them a lot and praised me for it. After the dinner when we were cleaning up, Kyle’s mom came to me and asked why I’m acting like a housewife to Kyle’s friends. I asked what she meant by that and she says I shouldn’t be acting like a housewife for all the men I come across, that I have a boyfriend and should be focusing on him. I told her I do focus on Kyle, that me and him share a room and spend time together all the time when he isn’t working. She wouldn’t listen and said I’m putting his friends over him. I ended up just walking away and that made her more upset. She later texted Kyle and told her how rude I was to her for ignoring her. Kyle asked me what happened and I told him what she said to me. He confronted her and said she should mind her own business but she said she was just defending him. Kyle’s dad agrees with his mom and thinks I’m doing too much for his friends and not enough for Kyle. AITA?",AITA for cooking and doing chores for my boyfriends friends?,NTA
10uued9,"So for context, I am a transgender (female to male) teenager in the southern region of the united states. My parents do not know and neither do most adults. I am in high school and am out to most (if not all) of the students in my grade. Since my parents don’t know, there are often times I have to dress feminine because I have something to do after school or they want to take pictures to remember some special occasion. Therefor, there have been a handful of days (I want to say like ten max) where I have showed up to school in dresses, blouses, skirts, etc. While I understand that doesn’t effect some trans people, it causes more dysphoria for me. It was spirt week which meant my parents wanted pictures so I had to dress feminine. This particular day was early 2000s stereotypes (I could be wrong but it was something along those lines.) I was wearing a skirt, knee high socks, a stripped white tee shirt, and a varsity jacket. I hated the outfit to all hell but I couldn’t really complain. I went through 90% of the day with the occasional stare and whisper but that was about it. Until 7th period. I walked in and one of my friends, we’ll call him Eric, called me over to sit down. When I sat down Eric looked at me . “Hey, Jessica (not their real name) has been going around saying you are ‘faking being trans.’”I was shocked. Me and Jessica got along pretty good so I had no idea why they would say that. This is important later, Jessica is non-binary. I always saw Jessica at the bus stop so I decided to confront them. I said something along the lines of “Who tf do you think you are going around telling people that I’m faking being trans?” A they explained that it was a mockery of the trans community that I come to school dressed in skirts if I “claim to be ftm.” I will be the first to admit that I probably got a little too mad. “Excuse the fuck out of me? It is not your fucking place to tell me my own identity. I have a reason I have to dress like this but frankly that is non of your business. I’m sorry that your parents don’t love you and to feel validated you have to pick on other people but I promise you there are better ways to solve your daddy issues.” After I said that they stormed off and their little group kept bother me and trying to make me feel bad. I can see how I was wrong but was I really the asshole?",AITA for confronting someone for calling me “fake trans”,ESH
10u3bov,"Sorry if this isn’t formatted correctly this is my first time posting  My(18f) bf(19) recently got his N, before this id constantly can to his house which was around $20 one way. He told me when he got his N , I wouldn’t have to pay for cabs anymore. Also when he’d cab to my house which wasn’t as often as I’d go to his, I’d almost always pay for his. Before this incident I’m about to go into he offered me his card to pay for a cab since I couldn’t afford one due to my cat getting sick and he had a huge vet bill. Then I get to his house and he asks for the money back when I get paid.Well the other day he picks me up and right before he picks me up he asks me to give him $10 for gas money, he is driving his sisters truck. He told me that it’d be 20 for gas just to drive me from work to his house. He says I’m paying for half. I feel like that isn’t right. It’s a 10 minute drive. I usually wouldn’t care but it sounded like a lie. There is no way it’s 20 dollars. Well now two days later I finally fully confront him and I did do some research as I don’t know too much about cats but I took into account the truck model the cost of gas per litre the engine efficiency and MPG and everything I found a calculator online. It says that he was definitely lying about it.I asked him to show me a photo of his purchase of gas on his bank app but he sent me a cropped photo of some numbers and I asked for the full photo he refused. And is now saying his sister lied about how much it was but I don’t see why I should pay for it, especially when he was the one who offered to pick me up.Now we are arguing about it and he has brought his dad into it who is now saying ”You can fill up their truck next time if you're that delusional”Exact words.",AITA for complaining about having to pay my boyfriend gas money.,NTA
10ua4br,"I am 19 years old . Woke up this morning to her yelling at me accusing me saying I broke her clock . It was chipped.She’s saying I must pay for it to be repaired . I refuse to do so . Got into a small argument , I called her some bad names .We already have a very toxic relationship . It wouldn’t surprise me if she’s the one who broke it and doesn’t remember . For example , my brothers gave both her and me  some money for Christmas , she misplaced hers and accused me of taking hers by accident which I know I didn’t because I know how much my brothers gave me as I counted it  . 2 hours later after lots of arguing I found hers misplaced hidden behind a Christmas ornament . I do not recall hearing her clock ever fall off the mantelpiece or moving it . So I don’t see how she has any proof that I’m the one who broke  it I honestly can’t stand that b****Here’s why I might be the asshole : I called her bad names . I don’t see anything wrong with that though , she’s never been there for me . She’s always putting me down , used to never let me have more than 1 shower a week when I was at high school i so I got badly bullied . Even now she only lets me have 2 showers a week (I do take some behind her back and at gym)",AITA for refusing to pay for my Mum’s clock?,NTA
10u4ttg,We know a family from our church and the wife is letting her sister stay with her and her family while she is in university.  They have a young son and the woman is expecting their second child soon.  We have two children and the sister has been our go to babysitter for a year and a half now.   She is great and the kids adore her.   We thought about asking her if she wanted to live with us since we have much more room than her sister's family.  She approached us last month and said that when her sister gave birth she would be watching her nephew while her sister was at the hospital.  She asked that if by chance our plans overlapped with the child birth if she could bring her nephew with her while she watched my children.  I said I would think about it and talk about it with my husband.  He thinks it's fine.  I'm not sure.  If we are paying her she should only be watching our kids.   I don't think she can give attention to three children and the boy might be distracted by his siblings birth or make a mess.  I don't know.  I offered the compromise that we could bring our children to their home for babysitting.  I thought this was fair since we would be responsible for taking them over and picking them up and we would have to deal with waking them up.  She said it's not her house and that it is really small and not set up for that many kids.  For example they only have one tv. So if one child wants to watch a movie the other ones can't play on their switch.   The baby is due right away and we tried to book her for last night.  She said she couldn't make any guarantees because the baby could come at any moment and she didn't want to cancel on us at the last minute.  I told her that the rest of her family could watch the boy at the hospital.  She said that she is staying with her sister because the family does not live here.  I don't know why her mother isn't already here to help.  My mother stayed with us for a month before each of our children and two months afterwards.  My husband is mad at me now for just not allowing her to bring her nephew and I am considering it.  But I don't think I'm wrong.,WIBTA if I don't allow my babysitter watch her nephew in my house.,YTA
10sud8l,"**ATIA for starting a bathroom remodel for my daughter COMPLETELY FREE and stopping and pulling materials after her husband slammed the door in my face?**  My daughter was pregnant and wanted her bathroom redone.  I have 2 contractors who are very close friends of mine.  I offered to remodel her bathroom 5 months ago but her husband declined.  Then a month before she was due, they asked if we could do it.  I scheduled it with contractors, even though she was very close to her due date.  (We told her she should wait).  Regardless, she wanted to move forward.  We started on Saturday and Wednesday night she tells us she is being induced the next day.  We work as fast as we can and get to the point where we are hooking the toilet back up and ready to set the tub.  Then my contractor that does the plumbing gets covid.  So with a newborn at home by Saturday, I don't want him in the house obviously. So daughter and husband come home Saturday morning and I suppose the guys didn't sweep well enough so she loses her shit and starts crying about how the bathroom isn't done and the house is a wreck.  Spoiler: They live in filth, it was always a wreck.  Anyways, I wait til Monday to reach out to her to see if we can come over to finish.  She tells me they already have a guy coming to install the toilet and that she would like her car keys back.  I drive over to drop off the keys, and her husband is waiting for me at the door.  He grabs the keys and slams the door in my face. Okay, so my daughter texts me later that day and says that she's going to have a contractor finish the rest because we lied to her about the timeline and I am holding this project over her head.  I am furious now, so I calmly tell her that I will be back that day to pick up anything that hasn't been installed and they can finish as they see fit.  I figure, if her husband can slam a door in my face when I am trying to gift a 10-15k remodel to them, then I don't need to supply materials for this anymore and they can figure it out.  He then texts me ""F#$% you you ruined my paternity time.  I want nothing to do with you.  You'll never see your granddaughters again."" (a longer string of insults but you get the picture.). I calmly responded to him that it sucks to use your kids as a weapon on their grandparents, but he had to do what he had to do.  Now his mom is calling us because they cannot afford the remodel AND he stays off from work like planned.  My thought is why should I gift anything to a guy to who I've already given 10's of thousands of assistance when he talks to me like that?  I feel like I'd be a chump. Also, side note, we offered to have them stay with us while the bathroom was being completed.  It would have been done 3 days later than expected.",AITA for starting a bathroom remodel for my daughter COMPLETELY FREE and stopping and pulling materials after her husband slammed the door in my face?,NTA
10tz7rn,"To preface this story it happened a few years ago but I still think about it from time to time and wonder could I have been wrong.I had a best friend who basically lived with me while we were in HS. We were inseparable. Like sisters. We had a lot of ups and downs but I’m going to focus on a specific event. My now ex bestfriend had just gotten married. She was having a lot of issues in her marriage and would often project her negative emotions onto my relationship with my then partner. She would go to him for advice every now and then and would turn around and throw the advice he gave her in his face to criticize him with things he was doing “poorly” in my relationship with him. I got tired of getting in the middle of their arguments and I told him it’s your choice to stop giving her advice but I want no parts of this.One day she posted on Facebook “it’s hard to find love in this generation” I saw the post and chose to ignore it as did most of our friend group because we just  knew that she was having one of her moments and it wouldn’t be wise to interfere. And it’s Facebook. But my ex Partner decided to comment “you don’t look for love in this generation, you let it find you” I, personally didn’t see anything wrong with his comment. But apparently this sent her off the edge. At this point I was working for a really well known surgeon in NYC who had a strict no phone policy on the job. Thankfully for me, I always adhered to it because this particular day was what ended our friendship.  My ex Bestie didn’t like the comment and proceeded to antagonize him through the comments. To which my ex partner responded “you’re a smart girl, you know I had no I’ll intentions with my statement” This lead to her threatening his life by saying she’d get her army husband to “handle” him. Somehow, everyone got involved in the post from her family to friends. He in my opinion rightfully defended himself but I told him, I warned him to not get involved in her nonsense. But he didn’t listen. On a weird turn of events, I was being slandered in her comments with people asking me “how could you date someone like *blank*”I was so frustrated I basically laid into her on Facebook telling her that she needed to focus on her marriage instead of being on Facebook crying every other day and trying to ruin other peoples relationships. Needless to say, she sent a screenshot of what I said to my mom and got my partner kicked out of the house. Everyone told me I was a horrible friend who was choosing her boyfriend over her bestfriend. We haven’t spoke to each other since. We probably won’t ever because I recently found out she was hooking up with him while I was away at college. So. There’s that.",AITAH for basically telling my bestfriend to get over herself?,NTA
10tvt7u,"Background: my dad passed away 10 years ago. It wasn't until about 4 years ago when my mom told me about her interest in pursuing a friend's with benefits relationship with my FIL. She openly told me how she wanted to travel the world with him and have sex with him too. She was so nonchalant about it that she couldn't understand why I was upset about it. She totally dismissed my emotions over her interest in FIL and said I was making a big deal out of nothing. I went NC with her for a month as I couldn't take her behavior anymore. I started talking to her again and while she didn't say anything more about it, her behavior was that of a teenager fawning over her crush. Even my husband disapproved of her behavior towards his father. BUT, this week she started again and made a crude joke over my FIL's balls. (Yes, like in his dck and balls). I didn't laugh because it was just so wrong on so many levels. But, of course, my mom dismissed me and said she was just joking and I don't know how to take a joke. I don't think these types of jokes are appropriate when it pertains to my FIL. I did speak with a few of my friends and by them saying ""I don't know what to tell you"" makes me think I'm right. So am I being the AH here or is my mom?",AITA for not finding my mom's jokes funny about my FIL?,NTA
10u8ez0,"I’ve been walking a lot more on the treadmill lately and my mom doesn’t like it when I walk for longer than 3 miles, since I can walk 6-9 miles. I’d detail why she’s concerned, but I don’t want to divulge details about family matters. She also thinks I do it too late at night because when I finish and wash up at night, she says it interferes with her desire to get ready for bed by 10PM, even though there’s nothing stopping her from getting ready for bed before or when I wash up, and she normally spends time on the computer or watches TV until past 12AM. I’ve been making an effort to walk several hours earlier in the day, and I don’t plan to do it for longer than a month (those buddy candies in Pokémon Go won’t find themselves), but it still makes her uncomfortable how long I walk. So AITA?Clarification: in light of previous comments, I guess I'll have to divulge some other information, even though I feel I should not divulge such private information online.1. Mom's concern about me walking too much comes from what happened to my brother, who fucked up his knees in cross country back in high school, but the reason he fucked up his knees is because his body doesn't register pain until it's too late and there's irreparable damage.  I, however, can feel everything, to the point that I can't fall asleep if I eat food during the day that my body doesn't like.2. The treadmill is in the garage, nowhere near her bedroom, so the noise is not what upsets her.3. With the exception of the rare occasion when she goes to bed before 12AM in preparation for an early appointment of some sort, I don't disturb her when I wash up in her master bathroom.  She just wants to grant me privacy when I shower there, privacy which seems unnecessary considering she doesn't do that when dad showers.4. I would shower at night in the other bathroom I share with my brother, but my bathroom shares a wall with my brother's bedroom, meaning the sound of that shower disturbs his sleep because he always has to go to bed by 10 due to work starting early the following day.  Also, the shower in my bathroom is more gross.5. Mom thinks I shouldn't exercise more than the recommended amount of time ([150 minutes of moderately intense exercise per week](https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/fitness/in-depth/10000-steps/art-20317391)) for fear that I would lose weight when I can't afford to.  But I have to say that my walking has actually increased my appetite, and my weight increased somewhere between 1-3 pounds from my previous baseline when compared to using a stationary bike for an hour.6. Mom's aware I walk so much for Pokémon Go, but that only increases her desire for me to walk less because she thinks playing is a bad influence/addiction in my life, and that I should put that energy instead toward getting work, despite how difficult it's been since college to get ***any*** work in the cut-throat job market I live in.  My doctor, however, likes my improved cardiovascular health.",AITA for walking ‘too much’ on the treadmill?,NTA
10trzhf,"So for a bit of context, I am going away with my girlfriends family this summer. My mum works for British Airways so has helped them all get tickets at a cheaper rate. Despite this, I can get a staff ticket from my mum personally, which comes out to about £70 as opposed to £300 that they are all paying. For the past week or so my girlfriend has been demanding I buy my plane ticket for the holiday. I have explained to her multiple times that I would rather pay £70 and take the hit of a random seat than pay £300 just to sit next to her on a 2 hour flight. This seemingly has really pissed her off, claiming she just wants the guarantee that I will get on and sit next to her, rather than for me to wait 2 weeks before the flight to pick up a staff ticket at the 1/4 of a price. There is a slim chance I won’t get on but they are running 3 flights a day to our destination, and I mean SLIM chance I won’t get on. She’s now being rude and blunt, saying “just don’t come then, you’re obviously not bothered” when I am just trying to save a bit of money. AITA for “leaving it last minute” and not having a “normal holiday” (her quotes)",AITA for not buying a seat next to my girlfriend?,NTA
10twlyr,"This may get a little long so sorry in advance, also on mobile. Little bit of background for context. I live in a converted house, 2 separate upstairs neighbours and I’m the only one with access to the garden (this part will be important). I have 2 children the eldest is at his dads luckily and the youngest is almost 5 months old.So 1 of my neighbours is a bit of a drunk and he can’t handle his drink, he’s also loud and just generally a very inconsiderate person. On New Year’s Eve he got drunk and somehow managed to drop his phone out of his window into my garden (the layout of his property is such that he would have to have his phone propped up against the window for this to happen). He knocked the next day and asked me to get it, I was dealing with my baby so told him I’d get it when I can. I gave the phone back and told him to not be so careless with his phone near the window.Onto tonight and he did it again. Instead of waiting until tomorrow morning, he decided to bang on my door at half 11 waking me and more importantly the baby. I’ll admit I lost my shit and shouted at him but did say I’ll get it when I can but it won’t be tonight. He kept knocking and after telling him the same thing several times he gave up and I thought that was the end of it.Nope 45 minutes later I hear banging and my neighbours next door scream and start shouting get out, then I hear the idiots voice. Instead of waiting until the morning for me to get it, he decided to hop 4 gardens to get into mine to get it back himself. Where I think I may be TA is, I could’ve just gone and got the phone back for him when he first knocked and avoided him terrifying the neighbours, he hasn’t come back and I’m still trying to get the baby back to sleep over an hour after this first started so I haven’t been able to check if my neighbours (rightly) called the police.Edit. He came back, banged about and went out again presumably to get more alcohol, hopefully not to trespass again but now I can’t relax with the thought of him possibly looking in my bedroom window.",AITA May have got my neighbour arrested,NTA
10t1ria,"I (28 M) went to school for computer science and work in tech, where I make good money. In 2021, I decided to pursue my passion for writing, and enrolled in an MFA program. Because my house is relatively close to campus and I enjoy entertaining, I started hosting a casual get together for the cohort (it's small, only about ten people) every month or so and it helped us all become closer friends. The parties are nicer than a dorm party (think wine and cheese) but nothing super fancy. In 2022, a new class of students came in and I invited them to the parties as well. One young woman (22ish F) and I got off on the wrong foot. During our first conversation, I mentioned my trip to Vienna last summer and she said ""Ooh, Vienna,"" in a sarcastic tone. Our conversation quickly tapered off after that. I was embarrassed, because I could see how I might have come off as showing off, but I honestly did not mean for it to read that way. Subsequent to that, she has made it pretty clear that she does not like me, and specifically because I have some money. She is always making snide remarks about how exploitative capitalism and rich people and landlords are (she knows I rent a room to another student). As a bit, she once pretended to be a sommelier and sarcastically appraised the wines I had on the table. I understand that not all of her resentment is directed at me, specifically, but it still feels very uncomfortable. She came to the MFA straight from undergrad and leads a 'starving artist' lifestyle, and I am sympathetic to that, but several of the other students share similar circumstances and political views, and I have never felt the same way around them. For the past few parties, I've hoped she would just not come, but she has attended every gathering. I have become a lot more self-conscious about what I wear, what food and drink I serve, and what I say in conversation, and it's honestly just exhausting and not fun to host when she is around. So, I would like to explicitly stop inviting her. It will definitely create a little drama, since everybody else is still invited. Over the past two years, these parties have almost become semi-official events for the students in the program, so it definitely feels strange to exclude exactly one person. I know that it's ultimately my house and my party, so I am perfectly within my rights, but I also realize that I'm coming from a place of privilege, so I wanted a gut-check. I'm sure she will just take it as confirmation that I'm the rich asshole that she already thinks I am, but does Reddit agree?",WIBTA if I stopped inviting a poorer student to my parties,NTA
10twsi9,"i (32m) and my partner Bill (30m) rented a house and threw a belated party/wedding reception for ourselves that lasted several days. we had a very small wedding due to funds, so this was a chance to properly celebrate.we agreed it would be for adults only because we were renting a house, providing alcohol, etc. it was extremely important to me that no kids be around. Bill didn't agree with my opinion but he knew how i felt, and agreed to limit the guest list.i ended up not feeling well and left a day early. when i left, Bill invited one of our friends to bring their kids over (6 and 5 years old) to hang out for the rest of the time. nothing bad happened and everyone had a good time.the next time we saw the kids, one of them mentioned something about the fun they had at the party. i asked Bill if it was true, and he said that it was. Bill explained he didn't plan to invite them, but he was sad that I was leaving early, and decided to cheer himself up by having the kids over. He said that he did not ask me beforehand because he knew I would say no, and he didn't tell me afterward because he knew I would be upset.I think he was being selfish to break a promise and lie to me; he says that I was being unreasonable to want an adults-only event when I wasn't even there. AITA?",AITA for being upset about being lied to,YTA
10tux5h,"English is not my first language.I come from a old, wealthy family with a military tradition, so a lot of emphasis on a traditional depiction of masculinity, strength, duty, and so on.My dad's the head of said family, and he has two sons-- my brother \[25m\] and I \[24m\]. My dad's path was pretty classic-- university, stint as a military officer, now is mostly semi retired and lives off the money streaming in from inherited properties.Neither of his sons were quite as traditional-- my brother was always too unathletic and lacked toughness, I didn't care about following tradition or the rules. Regardless, I grew up as the 'favorite' child because I was more athletic and bold whereas he was more bookish. My brother cared a lot more about impressing our parents, both out of genuine desire for affection and because he wanted to inherit property, than I did, so he was in a consistent quest to impress our parents: first by getting into Yale, doing a stint in the military, and now attending Yale Law School. For reference, he didn't particularly like the law, but did it as a way to impress our parents.I had gotten into some good schools such as Oxford and Williams, but chose to forgo that by enlisting in the military and becoming my country's equivalent of special forces for a little while. The reasoning behind that is that if I followed my family's path, it would have been easy and boring, and I wanted to put myself in more struggle to truly test myself. Anyhow, I completed a contract doing that, decided doing it long term wasn't for me, and now spend most of my time learning Muay Thai and mountaineering.My parents are intent on giving me the inheritance because they see  me as, despite being wayward, more tough and brave than my brother. All things considered, he's on his way to his second degree, and I have none, and plus he cares a lot more for it, so I'd give the inheritance to my brother, but my parents are steadfast.A little while ago, my brother visited home and remained stubbornly determined to impress our parents. The issue with this was that this obsession is preventing him from living his own life. He's so focused on winning the approval of somebody who's already given up on him that it's preventing him from truly pursuing his own happiness. He's going through law school, which he doesn't enjoy, he served in the military, which he didn't enjoy, and so on. So I told him truthfully that he will never be approved of by our parents, because they made up their minds years ago, and that they also made up their mind to not give him the inheritance years ago. So, since he's a smart guy who regardless of the inheritance has more than enough money to do whatever he wants, he should stop obsessing over a lost cause and do what *he* wants.This caused him to lash out at me and call me TA. I think I'm just being honest in telling him the truth that he needs to hear.Edit: I have defended my brother when he is insulted by my parents.",AITA for telling my brother he should give up on being approved of?,YTA
10u56yg,"Long story short, I have been with my BF for over four years. When he first met me, I couldn’t boil water. Not even a huge exaggeration. He cooked for us for probably our first two years daily, and was so patient and kind with me.I had never wanted to learn how to cook, but I found myself asking him questions, offering to help, etc over the years. We had a big setback when I accidentally caught our whole grill on fire and almost had to shove it into the pool. Whoops.Now onto the conflict. I’ve taken over cooking for us, and from observing and learning, he’s now dubbed me the Grill Queen. I’m generally a better cook now, and it’s probably because I’m anal and do not let my eyes off anything (see grill incident above, I learned my lesson).Tonight for dinner we did super simple seared ahi tuna steaks. My BF got the pan hot, got the oil in, and I put his tuna in. He prefers his more medium rare, so I cook his first as I like mine barely seared. My BF then complained to me for a while about how I didn’t let the pan get hot enough. I know it was fine, especially for his longer cook time.This wasn’t the first instance of me cooking, and him micromanaging. I got frustrated and told him maybe it’s best that he cooks for the next few days as I’m not doing it right. He huffed and puffed, finished cooking his tuna, and told me it was ready for me to sear mine off.I was frustrated, and it was a quiet dinner.I want to ask if I’m the AH because while I have cooked every meal for us for 2+ years, my BF taught me all the basics about cooking and maybe I should have just accepted that the pan wasn’t hot enough.",AITA for stopping cooking dinner?,NAH
10tnd5u,"This morning I was getting ready to leave the house and head to class. I was planning to take the bus which leaves three blocks from my house and drops me two blocks from class. It’s one bus line and the fare is $2My roommate offered to give me a ride, and since it’s really cold here this weekend I accepted.Several minutes into the ride she turned to me and said “how much would an Uber be, give me half of that to cover the gas.”To be clear, this Uber would have been well over $20, it’s a long ride.I told her that if I had known before accepting the ride she wanted over $10 I would’ve just taken the bus. I thought she was offering as a favor/nice thing to do. The transactional nature of the ride didn’t come up until we were already on it.AITA for not giving her the money?",AITA for refusing to pay my roommate gas money,NTA
10tv3kh,"My(28F) friend(31F) got back into dating last year. She's always dated losers and this time around she asked myself, my husband, and our social circle if we knew any single guys who had themselves together. Our group was able to set her up on a number of dates and she always has the same two complaints. We offer advice when she asks but she doesn't take any of it and keeps doing the same thing over and over.Frankly, I think she's being unrealistic with the reasons she's passed up some of the better guys she was set up with. It's been getting tiring hearing the same complaint over and over again when she won't listen to reason. I've started to tell her I don't mind listening to her talk about a bad day or a bad date specifically but if it's her usual complaint, don't bother, especially if it's going to be about a guy my husband and I know. She called again yesterday and started to complain about why a guy my husband introduced her to wasn't cutting it for her, same complaint as always basically verbatim so I told her I didn't want to hear it and hung up. She put me on blast in our group chat about not caring about her. I do care about her, but I don't want to hear her complain about people I know. I'm also a person that doesn't do well listening to people complain about the same thing over and over yet refuses to do anything to try to get a different outcome.",AITA for hanging up on a friend when she started complaining about the same thing again?,NTA
10ts9ag,"A little background: I(m36) had oral surgery on Thursday, tooth pulled, some jaw repair, and bone graft. It was an outpatient procedure and I'm home with my kids (single parent with 3 kids). I'm in a decent amount of pain, and I don't take painkillers for a few reasons. My girlfriend (w33) got out of work early and messaged ""want to do something fun?"" I responded with ""Would I like to? Yes. Am I able to? No. I'm still in a lot pain and struggling keeping up with kids and chores.""Her response was ""have a good night I guess""Am I the asshole for not really wanting to hang out while in pain and struggling with my daily routine? I already feel bad about my kids having a boring weekend and me not being able to do anything fun with them.",AITA for not wanting to hang out after surgery?,NTA
10tqbur,"My parents and I got into a fight. I'm 24, parents are 50+ The phone I've had, I've had for over 2 years and it is fully paid off. I told my parents about a month ago that I was getting a new phone number for the phone and to cancel the one they had on their account. Even though we were all fighting, my parents did not have any issues with this. Fast forward to today, the fighting got so bad I told them not to contact me anymore. My dad told me that I need to give him the phone back so they could send it back to cancel the number. We have the same provider, so I had told him that the provider told me that wasn't necessary to cancel the number and there shouldn't be any cancelation fees. My dad then said that I was obligated to return the phone because I was picking and choosing when to be independent. I pay for my apartment, car, car insurance, gas, and paid to set up the new line (which I absolutely should do because I'm an adult lol), so I told him that I would be more than willing to pay for the month of service that he had even though both he and my mom knew I was no longer using the line. I have made payments for the phone in the past to my mom for the line, but my dad said he never got any money from me, which is a lie because I have texts from my mom proving that I was required to pay money to her in the past. I did not pay off the phone, my dad did. He made majority of the payments.I went to the provider's store today just to make sure I wasn't obligated to return the phone, and they had said that since the ownership of the phone had been transferred to me, there wasn't any reason why I should give the phone back. My dad just wants to send it back because he is mad at me, but I want to keep the phone I have because I can't afford a new one, but mostly because I'm afraid that old messages will not be able to be transferred. I feel like my dad only wants the phone back to punish me because a month ago, he was fine with me getting a new number. I might be the asshole because my dad paid for most of the phone. AITA?",AITA for not returning my phone,NTA
10u1qql,"first things first, i am writing this on behalf of my mom, who does not have reddit! My mom (39F) has been friends with Jane (29F) for over a decade. They became friends through church and have a very sister like relationship. My mom loves photography and makeup, and is by no means professional, but she is very good, and did photography shoots for Jane when she graduated high school, her undergrad, and so much more, as well as doing her makeup. Most recently, Jane asked my mom to do her makeup for her wedding, coming up in April. My mom told her that her wedding is really important, and she should probably hire a professional for it, but Jane insisted she do it as it would mean a lot to her. So yesterday my mom did Jane’s makeup for her engagement pictures, and today for her bridal shower, and will be doing it again in April for her wedding. The only dilemma she faces now is if she should be getting her a gift for the wedding, since she has and will continue to do her makeup for free, which professionally done can go into the hundreds, and typically at wedding my moms likes to gifts couples a knife set which is close to $200. It’s just rude to not bring a gift to a wedding, especially someone you’ve known for so long, and she doesn’t know if Jane is expecting her to since she is doing her makeup.",WIBTA for not getting my friend a wedding gift?,NTA
10tlavf,"I’m (33f) pregnant with our first child and this pregnancy hasn’t been easy. While pregnant I’ve gotten very sick three times. The first time, my husband didn’t even realize I was sick even though he was lying in bed right next to me playing his game. I was in so much pain and breathing so hard I thought I was doing to die. Husband didn’t notice until I yelled at him about playing his game, really loud, right next to my ear. The second time, it was during Christmas Eve. I felt the same way I felt the first time, but worse. Again, my husband was lying next to me trying to coax me into going to his parents for Christmas Eve. When he realized I physically couldn’t do it, he said he would go to “drop off presents.” Apparently, dropping off presents and celebrating Christmas with his family was more important than taking care of his sick, pregnant wife. After husband and I fought about leaving me home alone to go to his parents house, he decided/felt forced to stay home. During the night husband was upset and angry and stayed in the living room doing his own thing while I lied in bed. I kept telling him I didn’t feel well and I felt the same way I did the first time I got sick but worse. He didn’t do anything. Around 3am I decided to drive myself to the ER because I couldn’t take the pain and my heart was beating out of my chest. I was worried about the baby. Husband asks me, “where are you going at 3am? It’s freezing outside.” I ignored him and got ready to leave to which he said, “fine, go out in the freezing cold. I don’t care!”Side note, we went to his parents house the next day, on Christmas Day. I felt a little better and guilty so I made sure to go. When we got there his mom says to me, “you know, husband’s younger sibling, didn’t go abroad with his girlfriend because he wasted to spend Christmas with the family.” Husband’s mom made me feel like she blaming me for being sick and keeping her son at home with me on Christmas Eve. I was obviously still under the weather so I didn’t have an appetite. Husband’s dad and mom make me feel like I’m being offensive whenever I can’t eat their food. It’s the cherry on top.Now, I’m sick for the third time. This time I had chills and my body was shaking uncontrollably. I couldn’t get warm and I had body ache. Husband helped take care of me and massaged me to help me feel better. This was great. I truly felt taken care of for once. Now, he’s telling me he’s going to his friend’s house because they made plans. AITA for wanting/expecting my husband to stay by my side when I’m sick?Edit: I did communicate to my husband each time I was sick that I felt bad and ill. I mentioned it several times each time I was sick. The first time he replied with “try to get some rest.” Which, is hard to do with a gaming console blaring in my ear. I even asked him to leave the bedroom and go to the living room which he ignored. The second time I told him I felt really bad and afraid something might be wrong. I clearly stated I wanted to go to the ER, three times. Each time husband replied, “are you sure you want to go to the ER?” “Is it that bad?” “Do you want to try giving it some more time? You might feel better and we can go to dinner at my parents house.” After this reply (from 5pm-3am) he didn’t bother even checking in on me and stayed in the living room because he was upset about missing Christmas Eve dinner. My husband did not end up dropping off gifts. After waiting it out I ended up driving myself to the ER because I was over the whole situation and still worried there might be something really wrong. I am a high risk pregnancy which is why I had the talk with my husband about not having kids. I didn’t want to be sick and have it harm the baby during the pregnancy nor me. Husband promised he would “be there for me every time I was sick and he really wanted a child.” ER doctor told me my blood pressure was extremely elevated (201/107 hr 172) and said my symptoms were “pregnancy related,” I had tachycardia, and needed two IV’s of bp medicine and two oral tablets to bring my bp down. He also said I was dehydrated and prescribed me Albuterol because I had trouble breathing and started wheezing. Obgyn told me “it’s not pregnancy related, and it could be an autoimmune disorder but I can’t take most/any medicine because I am pregnant.” Each time I get sick it feels like the flu with upper respiratory/Covid like symptoms. I get extreme body ache, fever, chills, and tachycardia. I cannot move from my bed without help. It generally lasts for 3-4 days. I did not mention having nausea or “average pregnancy related pains.” I do not expect my husband to stay home with me 24/7. I’m the one who usually makes him go out and hang out with friends because he’s a homebody. For the past 6 months I got sick 3 times and only expected him to be home with me those 3 times. I was upset because he placed his priority in going to his parents house for Christmas Eve dinner instead of helping take care of me. He made it very apparent he didn’t care about me feeling better and only cared about going to his parents. He sees his family almost on a biweekly basis.",AITA for wanting and expecting my husband stays by my side when I’m sick?,NTA
10u9351,"I saw a cute guys livestream on TikTok one day, and for fun I commented “it’s my birthday today” when it wasn’t really my birthday. He wished me happy birthday and I decided to tell the truth and say “I’m just kidding, it’s not actually my birthday” and he laughed and jokingly said “that’s messed up, you just lied to me” and I went on about my day. Like a month later I see the same guy on my fyp, and I comment “hey you’re the guy I lied about my birthday to” and he said in a very serious tone “that’s f*** up, like that’s actually really messed up.” it took me by surprise. I thought maybe he just didn’t remember me so I said “no not about my age, I had joked about it being my birthday when it actually wasn’t” and he said “that’s still really f*** up.” I don’t know why but this made me feel so embarrassed. I didn’t know I had done anything wrong, he laughed at the joke the first time. I cried immediately even though it wasn’t a crying matter but for some reason I just felt so ashamed. I didn’t know if the guy was just weird or if I had genuinely said a bad thing so I decided to make the same joke on some other boys livestream. I said it the exact same way. “It’s my birthday today” he said happy birthday, “just kidding it’s not actually my birthday.” And I was really surprised by this other guys reaction. He said “that’s messed up that you just made me say that.” I didn’t know what to say or do. What was so wrong about the joke I made? Was it really that serious? Does it have some other meaning I’m unaware about? Why’d that first guy laugh at first but then decide it was a f*** up joke a month later? I feel like I’m going crazy over this although it’s not a big deal. I just don’t know what I did to warrant that reaction. I get it if it’s not a funny joke, but is it really so bad?EDIT: I stayed up all night thinking about this. I had made a handwritten apology for this guy, typed it out and sent it to him. I have no response yet but I hope he forgives me. I had asked what it was about my joke that could come across as offensive and I wasn’t expecting people to call me a troll, gross, or immature over this. I wanted an explanation, A reason why he found it funny at first and then changed his mind later, because as I said, he did laugh at my joke at first. Which was all the more reason I thought it was funny. I made a cute boy laugh with it and it was a nice moment.When I saw him again, it’s not like a made the same joke to the same guy. All I did was remind him of how I knew him by stating that he was the guy I made the joke to and THATS when he told me I was fucked up. This is where my confusion is and I wanted it to be explained to me because I didn’t understand it and I felt extremely bad and gross and ashamed.And I had already said how ashamed I felt, I really didn’t need to be called gross.  A few people even said I lied for attention but that is NOT true, I didn’t mean it like that, I tried to be funny and make a cute guy laugh, and it worked the first time! I wasn’t trying to be malicious and hurt his feelings, I want people to understand this, I did not want to do that!EDIT 2: so he replied, and he said “lmfao no ur good I was just kidding with you sorry for making you feel bad” so apparently I really WAS just overthinking it and I’m not an asshole 😅",AITA for joking about it being my birthday?,YTA
10snxco," This happened this past weekend. My (M33) wife (F33) and I have a 6 month old kid.  My wife and I planned a date night and we hired our baby sitter we've used half a dozen times.  The baby sitter (F20) is a college student that lived in our neighborhood and came recommended by some friends that had kids.  She came over to our house, we told her our sons schedule, then headed out.  We were going to go out for dinner and then meet up with friends for drinks.  We have 2 cameras in our house that we can access remotely to check in on our son.  One is over his bed and the other is over his play area in the living room.  The babysitter knows about both cameras, so it isn't like we were spying on her.  My wife gets a notification that there is motion in the play area, she pulls it up to check in.  She sees a dog sniffing our son.  We are both like WTF.  We don't own any dogs and have no plans to ever own any dogs.  We try calling, no answer, so we rush home.  We go inside and the baby sitter is holding our son and there is a golden retriever just hanging out.  Everyone is calm and fine.The babysitter seems shocked we are already home.  I ask the babysitter why there is a dog in our house.  She says its her golden retriever and decided to bring it today.  The babysitter assures us the dog is baby and kid friendly and is sweet and safe.   I don't want my son around dogs at such a young age even if they are ""sweet"" and ""safe"".I'm getting more and more angry. This was not something she was transparent about and if we knew the dog was going to be there, I would have never okayed it.  I just firmly tell her to grab her dog and please leave.  I inform her we won't be using her in the future and pay her half her rate we had agreed upon, mostly since we used her less than half the time we were going to be out. She asks for the full amount.  I told her no, you put my kid in danger, and you should leave.  She says she did nothing wrong, but I don't see it that way.  So was i the asshole?",AITA for firing the baby sitter because she brought her dog to my house,NTA
10u8ykq,"My brother, cousin and I decided to go to a club outside of town. We get there and we’re dancing having a good time. My brother was pre gaming a little too hard so he was gone 30 min after we got there. I was looking out for him because he was starting fights with people there. My cousin ran into some “friends”. Keep in mind this was the first time I hung out with her in a while so I don’t know who her friends are. By the end of the night it was her and a guy. Me, trying to handle my brother, knew he was too drunk to function so I was trying to leave. I told her that we should leave but she kept insisting that she wanted to stay. I didn’t wanna leave her here so I kept telling her that we should go. It got to a point that she told me that I was ruining her good time. I just wanted her to be safe and come back with us. I was fed up by both of them and told her if you want to stay just be safe. Now I feel like a piece of shit for leaving her there. AITA?",AITA for leaving my cousin?,NTA
10u04ve,"For some context, my ex and I broke up around the end of August and he has still been living with me. It’s not a “we’re living together” it’s a “he doesn’t pay any rent or utilities or anything and doesn’t work”. He is also not on my lease. He had a job for a month but was fired/quit because “i interfered” which translates to he was driving my car to work everyday and was being requested to drive around his coworkers to far away locations to make sales and I didn’t want those miles on my car that I have put money into and that I own. For the 2 ish years that we dated, he lived with me multiple times and didn’t work. He milked out unemployment from COVID and when that stopped, he was broke. I housed him after an eviction (I had three roommates at the time and I was almost evicted for letting him stay with me) then he found his own place, then moved back in once I found out I was pregnant (I had a one bedroom by then) and still didn’t work or pay anything my entire pregnancy and postpartum while I busted my ass finishing college and working. Now, I’m just tired of it and tired of being around him. We don’t co parent well when we’re around each other 24/7 (although yes some days we coparent just fine) and he’s told me for months that he’ll be leaving and moving out. We fight a lot and overall it’s a toxic situation. I have threatened 30 day notices for a while but everytime I get close to doing it, I feel bad and he makes me feel bad for it but he’s not doing much to change his situation. He cleans most of the time but only half ass does it then sits at his computer the rest of the time. He claims that I’d be taking his son away from him by kicking him out and I don’t want to take his son from him, I actually want us to coparent well together. But for right now, this shit isn’t working for me; we can’t live together and he won’t move unless I force him but if I force him he’s going to belittle me and tell me how horrible I am. I’m barely scraping by supporting two adults and an infant. AITA?Adding in that if I do kick him out his only options are to go to a shelter or see if he can couch surf with friends in the state over.",AITA if I kick out my BD?,NTA
10u66kv,"Throwaway account hereBackstory: So I am a teen (almost YA) female and my mom is a adult. I got a coat over Christmas from an aunt and I have to say it’s probably really warm. My mom wanted to borrow it to go see ice sculptures and I said no.   Story: My mom has a Canada Goose which is a bit warmer than the coat I got but she wanted the coat I got because it was longer. I ended up giving the coat to her because it never felt like my coat from the start. When the package arrived, my mom opened it and when she told me it arrived, I saw her trying the coat on and saying that I probably wouldn’t like it. After I put it away, she started texting me and asking me to look up the coat as she wanted one too. After learning about the price, my mom said she didn’t want to buy it anymore. Fast forward a few weeks, my mom comes into my room and asks if I can let her use my new coat. I instantly said no because she has a canada goose and a few other coats, but she started calling me selfish. I have never worn it and in my opinion, being the first to wear something you bought or a gift you got is a part of the experience. I started saying that if she wanted it, I can give it to her since it never felt like mine (read above why if you haven’t already) but if she wanted to borrow it, then it’s a no. Long story short, she now owns the coat and I have my old coat with some minor holes in it.   Besides the length of the coat, she also used the price as a excuse. The coat I got was priced at around 900 while the Canada goose she has is only about two hundred dollars more expensive. I texted my sister (YA F) about how absurd the excuse of price was, and she started saying that I was selfish about lending my coat to our mom. I then told her that I gave the coat to her and it’s no longer mine and she had nothing else to say.   Aita for not lending the coat and just giving the coat to my mom because the coat never felt like mine?",AITA for not lending a coat to my mom?,NTA
10u0pl7,"I’m currently in Southeast Asia with my (24m) gf (28). We’ve met up with a couple of her friends recently. I hadn’t met either of them prior. I really really don’t care for one of them. I’ll call her Vicky. Beyond Vicky and I having nothing in common, she’s directed numerous slights and passive aggressive remarks at me. I also find that she’s slightly entitled and high maintenance, making her annoying to travel with. I should add that I’ve made multiple attempts to engage with her but she often seems disinterested. This has amounted to Vicky having a profoundly negative influence on my mood and ultimately hindering my overall experience. I must admit the possibility of fault here, as my dislike for her likely surpasses what is warranted. Im ashamed to admit that Vicky’s very presence fills me with disgust/contempt. With that said, I have remained nothing but respectful to her (although my attempts to converse have reduced over the last couple days). I’ve told my gf’s friends  that I’m going to do more surfing while they travel inland. My gf knows the actual reason behind my departure and thinks I’m overreacting and would prefer if I stick around. The kicker is that Vicky and gf’s other friend are worried about her and I’s relationship and are likely prying for answers. Meanwhile, the actual truth must be concealed for obvious reasons. This puts my gf in a difficult position which I feel guilty about. I’m trying to explain to gf that my departure is not necessarily a reflection of disliking Vicky more than I love her but an attempt to enjoy myself while I’m on vacation. I told gf I’d be with her the entire time but ultimately decided to break that declaration. I understand that relationships require compromise/sacrifice so I’m having some doubt in my decision. AITA?",AITA for ditching my gf on vacation because I can’t stand her friend?,NTA
10u4wbv,"ETA: These treatments give me migraines/headaches, nausea, and sometimes vision problems. I go home immediately after to rest.So, throwaway obviously.I, a female have major depressive disorder and PMDD.I have treatment resistant depression and I’ve been doing treatments and they’ve literally changed my life.I have to do these for 6 weeks to get the full benefit and my depression will go into full remission!My boss is now in charge after our director retiring… She is now saying I can’t leave early, because it’s not fair to others because they might want to leave early sometimes.I do my treatments at 4:45 every afternoon because when I got my first treatment I was in so much pain I was almost in tears and I had trouble seeing afterwards.I have an appointment with my OBGYN on Wednesday for my PMDD.If my supervisor says anything should I tell her me seeking treatment and going to appointments are covered by the ADA? (PMDD is also listed as a disability along side depression.)I don’t have any documentation, but I’m sure I can get it from my psychiatrist.Thank you!",WIBTA if I told my supervisor I need to go to appointments and treatment due to ADA?,NTA
10tygrn,"A few days ago, my (27f) bf (25m) brought up the topic of having a joint bank account for our bill money to go into. Currently, I send him a specified amount of money each paycheck that goes to bills and necessities for our household. It hasn't been working too well and the money we use for bills ends up going elsewhere. He wanted to make a joint account for our bills so we can manage the money better. I agreed under the condition that my direct deposit would still go into my personal bank account and I would send a certain amount of money to the joint account from there. I told him that I didn't care for whatever financial bonus we would get for having a direct deposit going into the joint account. He agreed and said that there will be no need for a direct deposit and asked me to go ahead and make the account online. I was busy at the time so I didn't do it at that moment.Today after work I decided to make the joint account since I get paid soon. My bf then told me to wait and he would send me a referral link. I then repeated that I wasn't doing any direct deposit so we wouldn't get any benefit from the referral and that I could just go ahead and make the account. He then told me that I should go to my employer and have my paycheck split between the two bank accounts so we can get the direct deposit benefits. I told him I didn't want to do that, I wanted my paycheck to go to my personal bank account and I can divide my money from there and send it to the joint account.He then got angry and told me that he doesn't understand why now all of a sudden I am against the direct deposit. I told him that I had said before that I was against it on numerous occasions. I specified that days ago when he brought up the idea, I said I wasn't going to do a direct deposit. He said he told me numerous times about the benefits of doing the direct deposit and I never brought it up then, but I have. Plenty of times. I explained to him that I would just feel more comfortable and more in control of my money if I have it all going to my personal account first. Especially since his side of the bill money for rent this month disappeared and I had to cover it. He told me that I was lying and that I didn't have to cover his rent. But I did. I told him that originally he told me that not doing direct deposit was fine and the account was just going to be for bills. But suddenly it's a big deal and it's also supposed to be a joint savings account as well as being for bills. He called me crazy for not caring about the benefits of doing a direct deposit in the joint account. I told him I didn't care and just want to have control of my money in case something happens.To his defense he specified that he also would split his paycheck between his personal account and the joint account. The direct deposit benefits are an extra $50 a month and 8% APY. So AITA?",AITA for refusing to do a direct deposit.,NTA
10tzq6m,"I owe/d my mother $3.99. She was going to a store where I needed to pick up some cool markers and I gave her what I thought was more than enough for the purchase, but came up a little short. We were out shopping today and she found something that was $8.00 and proposed I buy it and we split it to wipe away the debt. No problem. When I got to the register the cashier seemingly forgot to charge me for it (I bought a lot of other random things too, and it's a big closeout store and things are very jumbled). We were too far away by the time we realized the mistake and the store is very far from where we live.I was content to go through with the original arrangement, but my mom feels that I am in the wrong as I accidentally got the item for free and still owe her $3.99. I contend that I would have (and thought I did) pay full price for the item and had the mistake not been made it is still worth $4.00. My sister just thinks this is funny and would not weigh in (though I think she sides with me). My mom has agreed to abide by the ruling of the internet as have I to decide if money is owed, so Reddit, AITA?Small edit: To clarify, she did not give me additional money today, I was going to pay $8 and give her half of the product. She would still like half of the product and $3.99.Another small edit: My mother and I are close and she's a very sweet lady. No one's upset, just seeking arbitration! This circumstance was unusual given the unforseen circumstance of the ill-gotten item.",AITA for considering a debt paid?,NTA
10tvrha,"My (19f) boyfriend (19m) is an amazing boyfriend in all respects. He treats me amazingly and gets along super well w my friend group who are for the most part women and gay guys, he genuinely likes them and even hangs out w them when I’m not there. However, lately he’s been calling me out for acting “fake” and not being myself around them. For context, me and him have both made fun of “tik tok language” before and have kind of a running joke about it, sarcastically saying stuff like “not me doing _____” “slay” “it’s giving ____” “you ate and left no crumbs” using sparkle emojis, etc (No hate to people who use this lingo lol, we personally j have a joke about it and would never make fun of anyone who says that stuff). I don’t ever say these expressions w my friends and neither do they, but he says the way I talk around them is similar to the stuff we laugh about when it’s just us two. I agree that I have a more “feminine” affect and maybe use different tone than I would use with him (calling them “girl,” using a higher voice pitch, don’t really know how to describe the rest of it other than the way I talk is kinda different) but this is 100% unintentional and natural to me. He’s very unapologetically himself in all scenarios which I and everyone else love about him, but from his pov he thinks that I’m trying to be someone I’m not to fit in with them, and that I don’t talk like this around him, other straight guys, or even my girl/gay friends from home (we’re at college). I think he’s being harsh about it, saying I’m “fake” and “he doesn’t even know who I am.” I argue that this is totally unintentional and obviously I’m gonna talk to my female/gay friends in a slightly different syntax than to people of other demographics, and that im just a Gemini moon (lol) and the type of person that subconsciously adapts to the vibe of whatever group I happen to be in, and it never goes as far as changing my personality or doing or agreeing to things I wouldn’t otherwise. AITA?",AITA for acting “fake” around my friends?,NTA
10tlc38,"Context. I am a 21 year old female that is currently in grad school. I have had a boyfriend of four years. Recently, I was at a house party and did not have service. I was at this house party for about an hour (it was 8:30 at nigh), then one of my friends came to me a panic stating that my mother was going to call the police if I did not answer the phone. I did not know that I had no service. I call her on one of my friends phones and I realized that she had went to my co workers house trying to figure out where I was. (I messaged her who I was with before I went out, so she knew. Plus before she went to my co workers house, one of my friends told her where i was) so of course, I am pissed. I told her I had had enough of her controlling stuff. My co worker stated that she went to him for advice to file a missing persons case on me(I was only gone for an hour) (This was not the first time she has called everyone over me being “missing” for a hour without service) I told her I am going to move into my boyfriend of fours years house because she is so crazy. She of course flipped her shit. She said my grandma had a full mental breakdown and I am going to kill her of heartbreak because I want to move out of the house. I just want freedom at 21 and not have to be around my phone all the time. Am I the asshole?",AITA for moving out of my mothers house,NTA
10u1rux,"I (26m) recently left my friends (21m) paid D&D group. He runs these games as a business to pay for his college courses. My character in this particular campaign had ended up dying and I had started working on a new character. I found out from my friend that the race I ended up picking wouldn't work in the setting his campaign was in.He told me that this point my only options were to either play my dead character, make some changes to the race so it could work, or just outright leave the group. I wasn't too keen on making changes to the race. and had inquired if I could take a hiatus from the group and come back for the next campaign since I spotted a race, I really liked that would work in that one.  I was told that since it was a paid group and not a friend's group that wasn't possible as slots are first come first serve. This was when I decided that it would be better for me to leave since I wasn't wanting to pay to play a character I may not enjoy. Fast forward hours later when I ask if he would be interested in joining one of my free games (I'm trying to learn to DM and thought he would be willing to help me out). This greatly offended him as he believed I ""screwed him over"" and am ""messing with his future"" by leaving his group when he could have made changes so I didn't have to leave, so how dare I ask if he would join mine. Because if he can't pay for his college classes he will be kicked out and become homeless.  I sympathize with his situation and understand how serious it is; however, I've paid him 100s of dollars through his other buisnesses. I did this as a friend wanting to help out a friend. After all of thiat it just feels like a slap in the face to be told I'm now messing with his future because I left a D&D group.There are other people in this group, it's not like he's suddently making nothing because I'm gone. But he's adamant that I screwed him and his future over.So, Reddit, AITA?",AITA for leaving a friends paid Dungeons and Dragons group because my character died and there weren't other races I wanted to play for a new character?,NTA
10u065f,"I (26f) bought a house over the summer and had two friends move in to the house with me as tenants. I had them both sign a lease for 12 months of fixed rent. In the lease, there is an option of finding a subleaser if they decide to move out. The subleaser must be approved by the Landlord (me). In October, one of these friends/tenants out of the blue told me that she didn’t want me to be her friend anymore. She said that she didn’t want me to share anything personal with her, and she wouldn’t share anything personal with me. We both were struggling with our mental health at this point, and she said it was too overwhelming to be my friend anymore.In November, this friend decided to move out. Because she wasn’t going to be in the room anymore, I reduced her monthly rent $160. I told her that in January I would actively start looking for someone to sublease her room.I did actively look for someone, but there aren’t many people interested or available. I also feel pretty picky about who would occupy the room, considering what happened with this friend, and I have two dogs. I have turned people down because of this.The friend texted me today asking if I had found someone yet. She asked if I would consider lowering her rent again because I wasn’t finding anyone and I don’t want to sublease the room. I don’t want to reduce her rent again because I wasn’t expecting this to happen and am not financially prepared for it. She also signed a contract saying she would pay for her room until June. AITA?",WIBTA if I don’t want to sublease a room?,NTA
10twy98,"I (18F) am part of a friend group made up of 8 people aged 17-19 M & F. One the boys (I'll call him Orange 19M) had a birthday party recently, he invited us over to his house to sleep over, there was no alcohol involved and I checked this beforehand. I have a bad history with Alcohol and while it isn't a direct trigger it heightens all my other triggers, therefore I'm very careful around iy as I'm sure anyone can understand breakdowns and or psychotic episodes tend to ruin an evening.Anyway, I arrived at oranges house and everything went to plan until someone outside of our friend group (I'll call him Apple 18M) showed up, with a couple bags of bottles and cans. As soon as I saw the Alcohol I began to think I would probably have to leave. I went over and I asked orange if he knew Apple had planned on bringing Alcohol and he didn't. So I didn't blame him for it but I did say, ""I'm really sorry, I don't want to ruin your evening but if a lid gets removed or a tab gets popped I'll be leaving."" Orange nodded and went to chat to Apple. I don't know the content of that conversation. A few hours pass and the alcohol is still sat in a bag in the corner, until Apple goes over and grabs a 6pack beer and begins offering them to everyone. Upon this happening I collect myself say goodbye to Orange and my other friends and I leave. A few hours later I get a text from one of the girls explaining that Apple had began calling me a ""Pussy"" and a ""bitch"" for leaving just becuase ""there was a little bit of alcohol."" The next day I get a text from Orange explaining he though my actions were childish and I shoulve tried harder to stay. The girls are backing me up and saying I was polite and within my rights while most the boys are saying I was unreasonable and that I shoulve just got on with it. AITA?",AITA For leaving an event after someone brought alcohol?,NTA
10ty0ho,I(18M) recently got accepted into a volunteer fire department. And my family isn't happy about it so they told me to tell the Captain to define the offer. We got into an argument how far and windy the road to get there was on top of it being an unpaid fire department. I told them it was a rare opportunity to be a volunteer firefighter especially living in California. But my family said no and I end the end had to tell the Captain I couldn't attend training.Now I was thinking that being a volunteer firefighter would be the only way to step foot into the fire service and WIBTA for finding a way to attend those trainings? I'm working on my fire science degree and now I'm thinking it's going to be worthless if I can't even get any experience.,WIBTA For Finding Alternate Ways To Attend Fire Training?,NTA
10tq3wc,"The title might make me seem as the TA but please read to the end. I (F29) work at a pharmacy and I’m the senior in charge, I have a coworker who I truly like working with and she’s mostly hardworking and good at her job, I’ll call Jessica (F26) who happened to work on the evening shift today (I was on the morning shift). After I checked out of my shift she asked me for help before I leave. She had a prescription for a child, it was for antibiotic, the doctor specified how many milligrams per kilograms the child needed. She needed help calculating the dose required and I gladly helped her with it, it was 6 milliliters. She said “okay so it’ll be 5 milliliters” in front of the customer while writing the dosage on the box. I insisted that it is 6 not 5, at the beginning she didn’t want to change it but then she did at the end. After the customer left, I approached her and told her I hope she didn’t get upset by me because of what happened, she said she didn’t but obviously was. She said that I should have backed her up in front of the customer and asked me “who’s more important? Me or the patient?” I, of course, said the patient. She then said she won’t be asking for my help again (in a serious tone) but then proceeded to say it isn’t a big deal to get upset over. I feel bad for what happened and don’t want to lose a good working relationship over this. So, AITA?",AITA for embarrassing my coworker in front of a customer?,NTA
10tz24y,"Fair warning... I don't know how this message is to turn out as I am not 100% focused right now but work with what you got? For context, I (20f) and my partner (24m) have been in a relationship for a little over two years now. I have neurological issues, migraines, as well as having ASD. I get overstimulated quite easily and he very well knows this. Especially since we live together. We have tried countless forms of noise cancelling devices and the problem tends to be that they don't fit, work properly, or they break easily. Anyways. We had went over to visit his family for dinner one night and all was going great. Until...a couple hours later, as we were headed out to leave, we found out that two of our tires were flat and we didn't have the materials to fix it at that moment. They pleaded for us to crash for the night or until we figured something out. We both were very grateful. Everybody decides that they are going to bed and we decide to get settled in the separate living space. Well, about halfway into my ""winding down"" I hear loud music starting to play across the hall and of course I am not fond of it. Keep in mind, it is midnight at this point. I shoot them a little text asking for them to turn their music down a tad while also stating how late it is, as it is difficult to distract from. They deny. I try again. They still deny. At this point I am triggered because I am hearing all sorts of genres playing and its throwing my head in a spiral. I end up waiting a couple hours until its turned off and I began to feel relief about two hours later. I felt discouraged because they know that I get unwell when under an amount of stimulated pressure (said lightly). I didn't expect what was to happen that morning. I was shunned from the family. Disowned. All because I disrespected them by handing them, the homeowners, a request in the middle of the night because I was about to explode. I didn't know it was to be such an issue. They didn't want to see me again, after that, so I left. I tried to apologize but they didn't care. My partner and I are no longer together because well, he was fed up with me being ""picky"" (not being able to handle certain things) and how I made such a request and ""should have known"". I am currently walking with all my belongings, to the next town over, as I can't afford ride service so wish me luck on my triggered, heartbroken, endeavors. Did I make the wrong decision?",AITA for telling my partners family member to keep the noise down?,NTA
10txljy,"This might be confusing because I mentioned a lot of people but stay with me lol. My dad (42M) is dating my stepmom (40f) who i'm gonna call Jessie after my mom (39F) walked out on us. Jessiehas 2 daughters, Kinsley(17f) and Betty (10f). When me (15f) and my brothers (19,21,24m) first met Jessie,Kinsley and Betty, it went terribly. One of my brothers who i'm gonna call Terry made a joke about my weight (which we do to each other a lot but never others) and Jessie thought he was talking about Kinsley so she yelled at him calling him a disgusting, and that he is a AH which immediately solidified mine and my brothers dislike for her. While we disliked Jessie, we stayed nice to Kinsley and Betty. Kinsley was nice sometimes but other times she was rude. Whenever they moved in with us, this got extremely worse. Kinsley would make slick comments about how our mother never wanted us. We always did make comments back but never to the extent she did. (examples ; She would say ""I wonder what it's like knowing your mother chose drugs over you) and we'd say back ""I wonder what it's like knowing your mother is using another mans money""). She always targeted me with her comments. She would say ""I couldn't imagine not having a mom in your life to teach you things"" after I got my first period. ""Did your mom not teach you that isn't girl like"" ""You're gonna turn out like your mom if you keep acting like that"". For context on the last two, my friends call me boyish because I wear baggy clothes all the time, I talk 'like a boy', I never wear makeup because I don't know how to, I never do my hair apart from brushing it and putting it in buns. Now to the issue, A couple months ago, Me, my dad, one of my brothers, Jessie and her kids went to a hockey game, and I wore my new WHITE shoes (me and my brothers are kinda sneaker heads and value clean, uncreased shoes a lot and everyone knows this). Me , Kinsley and Betty had gotten red slushies and sat next to each other. I was scrolling on my phone when I felt something cold and wet hit my shoes and leg, when i looked over Kinsley was laughing while pouring the slushy on me. I jumped up and was furious. I yelled at her and said ""Why would you do that, you're so annoying, I seriously hate you, and YOU are gonna clean them"". She looked shocked before she started crying. Jessie and my dad yelled at me saying ""It's not that serious, they're just shoes"". I refused to talk to them the whole time we were there and the car ride home. When we got home, I immediately went in my room. Apparently my dad told my family and they were divided. The older ones were calling a AH and saying I overreacted while the younger ones agreed with me ans said it was fucked up for her to purposely spill red slushy (which stained) on my BRAND NEW white shoes. I get they’re just shoes and I wouldn't have cared if it was an accident but she PURPOSELY ruined something that I owned and cared about. So AITA?",AITA for yelling at my stepsister for spilling drink on my shoes?,NTA
10u5b0t,"So we have a big friend group of 9-12 people. We are around 19-22 yrs old and one 28 (who has family and lives abroad). We do a lot of stuff like vacations, go out eating, gaming, have a chat at the hookah. But aside from that we love to annoy each other and comment toxic things to the other. For example when I ask somebody a question and when he answered I ask him the good old cringey ‘’who asked’’. Or when somebody makes a bad move in a game and the other tells him pls delete like why even play? But we all laugh about it because we can all take jokes( we all know each other for about 5 years and my best friend 13). So about a month ago I felt like I have to annoy 2 of my friends so I sent in a video in our group chat which was a girl pointing at the camera and laughing while saying look a virgin!!! One of my friend laughed it off but the other who was my best friend for sometime said that I am a failure which I took as a joke at first but then he asked me that hurting the other is just a joke for me and why am I like this then left the groupchat. Everybody was saying why did he do that? Everybody knew that he was a virgin and nobody gived a damn about that. We even talked about being a virgin isnt bad, it doesnt make you an useless meaningless person. Other friends talked to him about this and he said that he hates me for saying that he is a virgin in a very close friend group, emberassing him and he wants/wanted to bonk me for this, doesnt want to see me, deleted me from everywhere. Its like he forgot about all the things I did for him even when he was at his lowest. I dont want to talk bad about him cuz I still love him but when I was at parties with him he told a lot of cringey things to girls that make them go away or tells me that he will never need a woman in his life. Then this… thinking virginity is a disability. EVERYBODY knew he was a virgin and he acts like nobody knew. Am I the bumhole? Or he just overreacted? I think I was a bumhole a little.",AITA for roasting my friend with the thing everybody knows about?,YTA
10tvth9,"I have a hard time sleeping. (I LOVE sleep, just not good at falling/staying asleep). I was up at 3a, normal for me, and was able to fall back asleep at 6a, until being woken at 8a by my partners alarm.I asked him to edit his alarm so it doesn’t ring on his days off. (We share Saturdays off and my alarm is set to 7a weekdays, but he starts an hour later so his alarm is set for 8a). I was short this morning when I repeated the request (for the millionth* time in years) ie. my tone was brusque. Not a great start to the day apparently.So I’ve been up for awhile and my partner typically wakes up around noon on his days off (Fri/Sat). Today he woke up 9.45aPartner took a shower and went to the liquor store. He nicely asked me if I wanted anything but it was 10.30a so I said no. He then made the bed and took a shower before heading to the store. This is very abnormal for him; he typically showers less than once/wk and only helps clean if guests are coming over.I asked him if he had plans and if anyone was coming over and he went straight defense. “Why are you harassing me? I shouldn’t have to tell you when friends are coming over, we have an agreement with “S” coming over but I shouldn’t have to ask your permission for anyone else”. I tried to clarify that I don’t care who he has over (except “S”), but it’s respectful to at least give me a heads up. I brought up two weeks ago when he called me from La Hacienda and asked if I wanted food and I did want a burrito, but he was at the restaurant with our friend “W” and failed to even mention to me that “W” was with him and coming over and sleeping on our couch. I have zero issue with his friends coming over (except”S”). It’s hard b/c we live in a studio and there’s no privacy unless you’re in the bathroom. It’s also hard b/c he’s an extrovert and I’m an introvert. My preference is always home alone and his preference is a mix of home/friends/partying. I don’t think I’m crazy for simply asking for a heads up. I don’t think it’s unreasonable for me to request notice when visitors are coming. I always given partner notice when I have people coming over (albeit, I have friends over a few times/yr and he has friends over a few times/wk. I don’t think either of us are required to ask for permission but I certainly think we should communicate with each other.: His friend rolled through. No heads up, no apologies for lying that he didn’t have any plans when he actually did. I might BTA b/c I’m asking my partner to share his plans/schedule with me rather than trusting his personal judgement.",AITA for requesting that my partner tell me when people are coming over,NTA
10u20s1,"Throw away account and all.Relevant back story, I don't like gifts. It is a trigger (can't give the full details because of rules, but I'm not joking this is a legit issue.)Not everyone in my life knows, mainly because that's a lot to just lay on someone. Anyway, a friend gifted me a very expensive bag, and after the fact I laid it out to them very clearly with full detail that I do not want gifts ever again. ( I did give them the whole back story) They are not allowed and I will be refusing any packages from them should they try again.  They agreed on the condition that I accept this gift,  and I did.  However everytime I look at the bag I am filled with anxiety. I know this sounds dumb but I don't want to look at it,  touch it,  and I have never even used it.  Because of this I want to sell it and then gift them the money back if they will accept it.  However I feel guilty about breaking this promise.So,  WIBTA if I sold it?",WIBTA for selling a gift someone gave me?,NTA
10u4ztr,"My friend sent me a picture of her and her boyfriend using a camp stove inside their house. I responded with a facepalm emoji and said that there's literally no reason to use a camp stove instead of the stove in their kitchen, and it doesn't have adequate ventilation.She said they have a window open.So I told her that one open window isn't enough, and that I wouldn't be so concerned if they weren't subjecting a number of animals to their negligence. (They have five dogs and two cats.)She responded, ""We're fine, jeez.""And I just said, ""Okay, don't worry about carbon monoxide then, I guess.""Was I the asshole for saying this? Am I wrong for believing that it's a stupid idea to do what they're doing with the camp stove?",AITA for telling my friend not to use a camp stove indoors?,NAH
10t7lxj,"Hello, I (28f) have a sister (21f) that is currently pregnant. I'm gonna start by saying that our relationship isn't very close, especially in the last couple of years. It's also a bit of a mess. I love her dearly but she's difficult. We've talked a bit during her pregnancy, mostly stuff to help through pregnancy sickness and advice.Anyways, I have a daughter that will be two in a couple of weeks. I picked her name from a favorite video game of mine that helped me crawl out of a dark place. Today, my sister posted on Facebook the name she has picked out. It's the same as my daughter's but has one letter changed. It's not a very large change, think of changing an e to an i. I feel kind of dumb for feeling upset about it but here I am. I want to tell her that I am upset but I'm being told by my grandmother and aunt to let it go.This is only the latest in a long list of things she's done. I'm hitting a breaking point with her and her drama. However, I know that I can't stop anyone from naming their baby anything they want. I also don't think she will change anything. I just think that if I don't say something now she will see my silence as approval and use that later.TLDR: WIBTA for telling my sister how upset I am with her choosing a baby name that's only one letter different from my daughter's?Edit: since everyone is asking and I already posted it in the comments. The names are Karliah and Kalilah",WIBTA if I confronted my sister about her potential baby name?,NTA
10u9pj6,"My husband told us that he wants to take a week-long vacation to Italy so he can stock up on snack food and bring it back in bulk back to our home city of Chicago, claiming ""It's a good thing to buy food in bulk... remember that time I bought your Sabrina (fake name for my sister) a bulk-buy of M&M's and Hershey's when we went to NYC for your 30th a decade ago?"".He's looked at going to Milan for a week and reasoned we needed a vacation to escape the current climate over things like Tyre Nichols, Joe Biden etc.I've nothing against going to Italy, wouldn't mind going for sun, sea, sand and bikinis and also the food too.However, I told him to have a vacation to Italy centered on buying food in bulk and nothing else was a bit unusual unless you work in buying and selling food for a living... which my husband doesn't, he works in end-user support for a living answering support tickets for a webhosting company.I'm a freelancer so can pick and choose my hours, have various clients in the fashion industry, I'm a personal stylist, been one for 15 years now.As it is, I told my husband, the vacation's fine, you've managed to get the time off from work, but I won't do it if you're just focusing on food and nothing else, it's a waste of a vacation.He claims it'll be easy to get all the snack foods through U.S. Customs and back to Chicago easily.AITA here for telling him explicitly that it's got to be a vacation too, not simply a case of a week's worth of buying food, importing it back home to the U.S. and through customs and then worrying about storage?",AITA for telling husband spending a week in Italy just to buy snack food in bulk is odd and expensive?,NTA
10tqr25,"I'm on my limit and told him that if we lose the house I will hold him accountable and will divorce him. He doesn't seem to acknowledge the importance of everything. And I am unable to do more than what I already do(1 full time and 3 part time). Am I the asshole here? He works a full time job , everyday, home office 9-18.EDIT: I'm in Europe where, because of the war, inflation and tax rates increased dramatically. Basically doubled my mortgage and there's no end in sight.","AITA I'm working 4 jobs and at risk of losing my house (and my mind). Mother of three, I fear this possibility of being unable to pay the mortgage. keep asking my husband to find a second job but he doesn't.",NTA
10tyke2,"I (21 F)Have had a rocky relationship with my fathers side of the family and this situation might have made it worse.Last week my father and I had a conversation. He started talking about how he wanted to have another child because me and my siblings do not really like him. He said that having another child he could do right by them. I flat out told him that taking care of a child is not as easy as it seems. It's not just about sending them money. (he never changed my diapers as a kid because he doesnt change girls) He needed to change their diaper, dress them, take them to appointments, take them to school, mold them into proper functioning people. The conversation was left sour.Well, a few weeks ago my father sent me a text message after trying to call. I ignored the call. He asked if i remembered when I was younger when I told him I could have a younger sister. I vaugly remembered him telling me this after telling me of his various flings. She said he wasn't the father and he moved on with his life. Well, the woman he slept with contacted him and told him he is infact the father of the child. My father was estatic. I simply said that he should get a DNA test to be sure. He then sent me a picture of the girl, saying that she looks just like me. i have to admit, there were small features, but again, i rheitorated that he needed to get a DNA test just to be sure. A few days later, he sent me pictures of him meeting the girl! Talking about how he was going to spoil and treasure her after finding his new daughter. This pissed me off. My father calls me all the time complaining about how child support is taking so much of his money away. This infuriated me beyond belief. My aunt says its because I used to be his favorite but thats far from the truth. My grandmother visited her, she called me saying that that girl is her grandbaby and she acts just like me. She says she likes to draw, watch anime, smiles, talks, and looks like me.She said that althought the girl is in the system, she has a support system now. I always watned to scream. These people that completely abandonded me in foster care are going to help her! My grandmother started talking about me to the girl and said I was excited to meet her. I again said you should get a DNA test just to be sure!Why put this girl through this thinking she may have another family and it turns out we are not her paternal family. My grandmother said I should see her and I declined. I said, ""I am not going to speak with her until I know for sure she is my sister, and even if she was my sister, why is that my responsibility to form a relationship with her when I don't have a relationship with my other siblings because of my fathers lack of control?"" She got quiet and we eventually ended the call. My father and aunt called me jealous and not wanting to share my fathers attention, but i feel like no one is thinking about this situation logically and the effects that this could have on that child.AITA?",AITA For being realistic about the possibility of having another sister?,NTA
10stskr,I (M16) live with my dad.  He is not a bad guy but if you give him a chance he will eat everything in sight.  I try my best to do my share around the house.  He works pretty hard so I do most of the housework.  It is just the two of us.   I work part time at a kebab place.  And sometimes I bring home kebabs for us from work.  One set for me and one for him.  I always get the garlic cilantro sauce on the side because my dad can't eat it.  So a few weeks ago I did exactly that. I wasn't hungry so I left them all in the fridge.  When I got up to get my food they were all gone.  He had eaten everything.   So now I make sure my kebabs are soaked in the cilantro sauce.  And he can only eat his.   I buy myself snacks that I like and I found that they were disappearing from the pantry.   My dad pays for all the household food so I asked him if I could use the grocery budget to pick up those snacks since he obviously likes them.  He said no.  So now I am shopping carefully and only buying snacks that have ingredients he cannot eat.   He has a soy allergy.  I make sure that I'll my stuff with soy is well labelled and I keep it simple in my room away from the other food.  I also picked up extra spicy snacks that he cannot handle.  He noticed that I wasn't keeping my stuff in the pantry any more.  He said I had to share.  So I showed him the ingredients on my stuff.  And I let him try my mildest spicy snack.  He drank about a quart of milk. He says that he works hard to provide and he deserves snacks.  I agree.  I've even bought him some he likes.  And if he didn't eat them all in one go they would last between grocery trips.  My older sister called me and said I needed to smarten up. She says he feels like I'm picking on him.  I'm not.  I just don't want to get up to get something I know I bought and it's not there.,AITA for only buying food my father cannot eat with my money.,NTA
10tlwii,Hi I recently rescued a stray and although it’s only been a few weeks I’ve become really attached to this pet. My partner however does not agree with me keeping it. We have gotten into arguments about it with them feeling as though I never take into consideration their opinion in anything and that I am not responsible enough. I tried to come to a middle ground were we could see how it goes with the pet just so they could see that I am responsible enough to take care of it. They didn’t like this agreement and told me it was best to give it away. I was sobbing over the thought of giving it away because I really enjoy having it around. This pet is so sweet they wake me up in the morning with lots of cuddles and all of their quirks that I’ve come to enjoy. Today we get into another argument on the phone in which they told me that I was very irresponsible and always got things my way. I asked for some examples but they said there were too many to list but that me getting a piercing was one of them. I don’t know how to feel or do. I don’t want any more arguments within this relationship but I also can’t imagine giving away my pet. Give me your wisdom AITA thread.,AITA For Getting a Pet?,NTA
10sorq8,"I’m early 20sF and last year started working at a major company. I entered this job through a scheme for disadvantaged young people. Despite this, the interview process was still incredibly tough and I’m proud to have made it this far. When I’m not with my team I hang out with the other girls I’ve met and befriended through that scheme. The nephew of the CEO started his role at our department a little later and for whatever reason has been joining us girls for lunches etc. He tries VERY HARD to fit in and acts like he doesn’t come from a place of insane privilege. He will literally pretend to be humble and downplay his family’s wealth just to seem relatable I guess. The others have been warming up to him but I’m honestly not buying his rather fake personality. The other day I was sitting at the canteen with another coworker and he asked if he could join us. I didn’t want that but my coworker immediately said yes. Well he was asking me lots of personal questions and about my journey to the company. I told him that the interview process was hard and mentally draining. He nodded and said that it’s tough getting into the place but that his interviews were “fine”. Even laughing and saying he came late to one because of a hungover. This made me mad and I said “good for you”. He thanked me and said that things always work out when you just “chill out” and stop taking things so seriously. This is when I said that we both know he’s not nearly as competent as he believes and that he only got the job bc his uncle is literally the CEO. My friend/coworker gasped and looked at me like I’m crazy. The nephew shrugged and said that I don’t seem to like him. I told him that this wasn’t a personal matter so likes and dislikes are irrelevant. We didn’t argue but he got a little heated. And asking me what I want him to do. Then he said that I may view him as an over privileged asshole but I’m more or less the same (which makes no sense). So I fully expected him to report me to HR but to my surprise he never did. In fact he started following me on my social media accounts and messaging me at work more frequently. My coworker has relayed this incident to the other girls and the consensus is that I’m a major asshole. They said that not only was I unnecessarily hostile and rude, they’re also mad he started hanging out with them less. (Not sure if this is a coincidence but I’ve also been spending less time with them) AITA for giving my unprompted opinions?",AITA for telling my colleague he only has his job because his uncle is the CEO?,YTA
10u63ns,"Ive just gotten home from this event. Me and a couple friends- more like 3- had all agreed to go to one of my friend’s house. I’ll call her Monica. Monica is sort of a reckless friend, and had often teased me about being an introvert. She told me and another friend, - Susie- that we would be hanging out at her’s for one night. Me and Susie thought it would just be us three but to our surprise, almost our entire grade was there. There were shots, music, lots of people, you name it. Susie was hesistant to join because the last time she drank I was sort of pulled into a disaster which she apologized for. That was actually how we met- but that’s another story for another time- Susie and I stick together for most of the party, and for a while we don’t see Monica anywhere, so we both decided to go to another place that was quieter. That was when we finally found Monica. She was fooling around with people and were about to do something ridiculous, so me and Susie were quick to pull her out of there. We dragged her to her room where me and Susie told her off on being more careful, but monica (unfortunately) brings up Susie’s past mistakes, which leads both of them into a fight. I tried to stop them which leads to monica calling me names and telling me that I ruined the “good” party. I tried not to get upset by this but she kept on going on about being naïve, or friendly towards strangers, to which Susie then tries to defend me, and the cycle starts up again until me and susie both walk out upset about everything. On the way home susie reminds me of things I've helped her with and tells me that I shouldnt listen to monica.  So, am I the Asshole for dragging my friend out and ruining a good time for her? ","AITA for ruining what was a ""good ""party for my friend?",ESH
10t123n,"My daughter will turn 4 this weekend, we have three children under 4 and our youngest is a very clingy 5 month-old who even refuses nap away from my arms so I don't have a lot of time to myself let alone to clean the house and make the meals, I manage but things are not perfect far from it. My mother ( who happens to be overbearing at time admittedly) offered to host her birthday party. Since I barely have time take care of our house I'm quite thankful for the opportunity. She wanted everyone to come but my husband's side of the family refuses to come because they  are uncomfortable at my mom's. ( Nothing bad ever happened between them and when my mom isn't nice its always to me never any one else) My husband is disappointed that his problematic mother will miss our daughter's birthday ( she always has issues with everyone, before it was my FIL, then it was me after it was my BIL's girlfriend and now she has chosen my mother 😑) and he wants me to host the birthday instead but the party is tomorrow and I don't want to cancel everything and take care of the whole thing because his mom has made up some issues. He's upset that I'm not willing to host the birthday at our place.AITA?",AITA for refusing to host my daughter's birthday party,NTA
10tk05x,"My brother is upset with me and my sister because we didn’t call our nephew to wish him a happy 5th birthday.  So my brother and sister are in a group chat cause we are in a friendly Wordle competition so we speak to each other everyday.  My brother stopped sharing his Wordles for a couple of days so on the third day he ignored us, I messaged him asking if he was mad at us.  Long story short he said he’s disappointed that we didn’t reach out for our nephews 5th birthday.  So I asked him if I’d missed an invitation to a birthday celebration or something cause we hadn’t heard anything from him or his wife.  Honestly the day got away from me, I work full time with kids and am exhausted on the weekends.  He said family never makes a big deal for his sons birthday but always does for their daughter. That statement couldn’t be further from the truth as I’ve never made a big deal for either of their birthdays.  I don’t have the money to do any big hoopla.  I explained that I didn’t think a phone call would excite a 5 year old who I only see a few times a year so I was gonna bring him a gift the next time I saw him.  My brother then stated that they hadn’t passed out invitations for his birthday party cause they earliest they could get anything booked was for nearly a month later.  So I asked him if they’d still done any celebrating the weekend and why they hadn’t asked us to join them if they did.  He ignored that question and basically said it wasn’t his job to make sure family call to wish their nephew a happy birthday.  I told him it felt like a set up at that point and again asked him if they’d had a birthday supper with a cake which was again ignored.  So am I the asshole?Edit: I should clarify that I did tell my brother I felt bad for not acknowledging but that I did have plans to bring him a gift when I saw him next.  My thoughts were basically yes I could’ve called to set something up but that he should’ve invited me to any celebration they had planned.  And my sister and I don’t live far but it’s still about an hours drive from my house to his.",AITA My brother is upset with me and my sister because we didn’t call our nephew to wish him a happy 5th birthday,NTA
10tvjmo,"Me and my mother (60F) have flown out to Jamaica to visit my dad and my Jamaican side of the family. It’s both of our first time coming to the island or visiting any of my family on this side, we put almost £2000 into this holiday. We intended on staying for 2 weeks but we are looking to shorten the holiday and come home ASAP.We’ve been here for less than a week and my father have left us at home most days so far and he’s been out for 8+ hours. He doesn’t let us know where he is going and lies about what he is doing. We left the house one time because we were so bored and he got angry at us for doing so. We told him that we he is doing is wrong and disrespectful but he just laughed it off and told us to ‘relax’. He’s been all day today and me and my mum both agreed to chip in money to book a flight home early.WIBTA for leaving?tldr; Me and my mother have visited my dad in jamaica and he’s hardly been home for the time weve been here. He goes out all day and lies about where he is going. WIBTA if we go home early?",WIBTA if I (21 M) booked a flight home early from visiting my father (61M)?,NTA
10ud1cv,"I am unsure how to process these feelings, so I guess I'm turning to here.I used to be very close to someone I would consider my best friend. We have known each other for almost 10 years, but have found that we've drifted apart, even further knowing she started a new relationship. I am very happy for her that she has found someone who is incredibly supportive of her art (she has a very thriving art career), and she has become viral on TikTok as a TikTok couple. I'm sure this is jealousy, so this is why I'm asking here - But I know that she is loaded. Like over thousands of dollars a month from art projects, gallery commissions, etc. So is her partner.I would actively go to her art things - Because I always have. I noticed over the years even when I messaged her in advance to hopefully get her support in something of mine (emotional support, or support for stuff I happen to like as well), at the last minute she's busy with a ""last minute flight with her partner's family"" or she has an art thing, which I understand. It's just been harder to message her knowing that she will most likely not make a certain thing. Heck, when I greeted her for her birthday, I was left on seen, yet would see she is very active on social media. I don't expect an immediate reply, but have found myself distant as a result. Recently, I placed a listing up for a mattress I'm getting rid of. I'm moving out, and just want it gone, and I already have a few friends interested in it. It doesn't really fit two, so I was a bit surprised when months later, she messages me. No hello, no how are you, just if the mattress was available because she's moving in with her partner. I want to give her the mattress, though in all honesty it has stains, and it barely fits two, so I want to suggest to her that it's already been reserved, or that she can (honestly) get a brand new one for a couple of bucks more. Again, I am not sure why I feel this way, but I feel like I would be the asshole if I refuse to just give it to her. WITBA? How do I get through this feeling?",WIBTA if I refuse to give a mattress to my HS best friend?,NTA
10tltli,"I am very perplex on this one and feel like maybe I am in the wrong. I (20F) and my fiancé (24M) are both students and muslim. I wear the hijab (the scarf muslim women wear) and study health while living with my parents and he studies computer science at the international and lives with 4 roommates. I started working recently (minimum wage job to save some money) and we got into a debate about if it bothers me that he is not working right now, to which I said no as long as you do before we get married and as long as we dont live with roommates. From there on it started going downhill because he asked me what would he get in return because he feels like the hard work will be one-sided and that I should be grateful enough to live with him. I told him that I do not want to walk around my own home with my hijab on everyday and that it would not make me comfortable at all in any way. ""So I have to work harder so you can feel better?"" Maybe I am overreacting or just too sensible but that sentence really threw me off a cliff because I know I would it for him. I have always told him that I would much rather be a SAHW and take care of the house and my family than work a 9-5. If NEEDED, I dont mind at all working to help financially (non-essential stuff, utilities, groceries, rent, etc.), but if it is not needed then I do not want to and it has been clear from the start. Now he says that I'm asking for a ""queen life"" and its not reasonable and he is not a prince to give me a castle because ""I dont have anything to give back"". Am I really asking for too much? I dont expect a palace. I can work with very little (kitchen, bedroom/living room and bathroom) as long as it's with the person I love but having roommates (male or female) while married is inconceivable for me. Am I the asshole?",AITA for asking to live alone with my husband,NTA
10ucq2x,"So I work in a big team I have only been there a year now. It’s been hard making friends.I’m really shy and it’s taken me a while.My old job I completely fine.Anyway I’ve made a few friends and one girl in particular let’s say Sandy 38 Y I’ve got to know and have gone out for food etc.I can only describe her as quite bolshy and can be quite moody if things don’t go her way. I can be a bit of a people pleaser as I don’t really like conflict and prefer a easy life. So there’s this this other girl let’s say bonnie 31 Y who’s higher up than us and everybody gets on with her. Sandy and i have jokes with her and we have exchanged numbers and text etc. At Christmas I bought a few gifts for my co workers, these were just like little things.One of the girls I bought for was bonnie. One of the comments my friend made (Sandy) was that I was trying to buy people.I was extremely upset by this because my nan had passed away at Christmas and I felt like giving people was making me feel less sad.  This girl bonnie and I have little jokes back and fourth about my mental health and hers about being ginger or a red red. Fast forward to other day we’re stood in the kitchen and my friend Sandy are I saying things like oh what you got ? Looks bland. Bonnie says I only like brown bread not white.I say cause you ginger, my friends Sandy just exploded,you can’t say that, that’s so mean. I’m completely shocked you’ve just said that.This is in front of everybody like 30 other people I immediately become so embarrassed I want to cry. Comes to leaving work and my friend Sandy wanted us to go for food. On leaving she asks me why I’m being moody with her. I reply with because you embarrassed me in front of everyone over a silly joke. Sandy apologies and asks me to still come, I say I don’t want to know as I’m too embarrassed. (Another girl was going).Sandy says fine, be in a mood.I walk back to my car and cry because I felt so bad about my joke and how embarrassing it was.i do end up going as I figured I didn’t want to fall out with Sandy as it would make things even more awkward. I walk in and she says ‘here she is she’s put her big girl pants on,. I just smiled and was pretty quiet throughout the conversation were they literally just bitched about everybody. When I got home I texted Bonnie straight away and apologised for my comment.Bonnie replies pretty quickly with don’t be silly and it’s fine. I apologised again and she said to not be silly. I’ve since spoken to Sandy about it and she said that she didn’t think I was wrong for saying it. That is just wasn’t the right place to say it in room full of people.I said that I had apologised to Bonnie and she said she knows as she’s also spoken to her. Also she said to not worry about it as it’s just silly. I’m supposed to be seeing these girls on Monday and I feel so embarrassed.I feel like I’m going crazy because it was treated as such a big thing at the time and now it’s like your being silly.AMIA ?",AITA for thinking this has been blow way out of proportion?,NTA
10tv1wn,"I, 23m, have been renting an apartment with my former friend & current coworker, 23f, since last March when I took over her old roommates lease.In July we signed a new lease. Just after we signed the new lease, my relationship with my girlfriend got more serious so I stopped hanging out with my roommate out of respect for my relationship as my roommate & girlfriend do not get along at all. My girlfriend is not comfortable sleeping at my apartment because when she first met my roommate, my roommate was incredibly standoffish with my girlfriend & was being overly flirtatious with me in front of her; a behavior she has never shown to me before.As things have gotten more serious & because of my girlfriend not being comfortable at my apartment, I have basically been living with my girlfriend since late July, early August. Despite this, *I still pay half of the rent at my apartment.* My roommate essentially has the entire apartment to herself with me covering half of the costs when I don’t even live there. My stuff is all still there and has been untouched for months as all of my clothes are at my girlfriends. I haven’t even been to my apartment in months.My girlfriends lease expires in early April & we both agreed that we should move into a larger apartment together, just the two of us. I’ve mentioned to my roommate a few times over the past few months that i’m looking for a place of my own & would let her know if something comes up. Each time i’ve mentioned anything to my roommate about me moving out, i’m treated with an extreme attitude or just completely stonewalled. Well, the other day I let my roommate know in person that I’ve found a place that I’d likely be moving into around the middle to end of March. She chuckled and said in a sarcastic tone, “okay we’ll see.” Last night I texted her to touch base & very kindly reiterated what I said & asked her if she had anybody she wanted to ask about being her roommate otherwise I would be posting an ad & if I posted the ad, what her preferences would be for the new roommate, what their rent would be, and so on. I was left on read. As I mentioned, my roommate is also my coworker. Today, see has been nothing but standoffish with me, has been slamming stuff around, & even made a rude comment about me to a client. When I asked if she got my text, she stormed of and locked herself in the bathroom for over half an hour then refused to help me help clients as they walked in.I’ve given more than a 30 days notice, have offered to help find a new roomste for her, continue to pay my rent until i’m moved out, and even pay the first month of the potential new roommate however I’m being treated with nothing but attitude and being ignored when I’ve asked her to please speak to me about what the problem is",AITA for giving my roommate proper notice of me moving out?,NTA
10txjai,"So I (20f) have lived with my friend (20f) in student accommodation for the past two years while in university. 6 closest friend had to move out because of personal problems, and she's understandably upset by this and feels isolated.I live in the flat beside her and it is always extremely loud from about 11pm-3am during weekdays because its mostly new students. I am in my final year and cannot get all my work done and attend my early classes if this continues. I am also hoping to move into a house with friends next year and could do with saving some money. I confided in my friend that I was thinking of moving to quieter, cheaper accommodation as my grades haven't been the best due to some metal health problems. When I told her she ran away crying because ""everyone was leaving her and she doesn't have anyone anymore"". While I tried to comfort her as I understood that its hard when friends leave but, I couldn't lie and say I wouldn't got through with it, which is what she wanted me to say. Fast forward to the next day and I'm getting bombarded with messages telling me not to leave because she won't want to live there anymore and because I drive her the hour and a half to the city she won't have anyone take her up. She is also continuously stating that I'm her only friend now which is completely untrue she is with different people for coffee or lunch all week long. I've tried to tell her how worried I am about my grades and the not sleeping, but all she says is how I don't care about her and am being selfish by still thinking about my other options. I feel so guilty for the way I'm treating her but shouldn't she want what's best for me? AITA?",AITA for abandoning my friend and making her cry?,NTA
10swrqr,"I think the title is self-explanatory. My girlfriend's family are quite upset with me but let me give you a bit of background information. I (25F) am currently a resident. My speciality is a particularly demanding one. I have 24-hour shifts every other day, and I get to go on 72-hour shifts at the hospital with only a few hours of sleep 4 times a month.I have been dating my girlfriend (23F) for two years. Her parents and brother (29) live in a different city. They were going to come visit us for a few days. My girlfriend had told me that beforehand. She obviously knows my schedule. I offered to help her before her parents got here, I only managed to get a few items, gifts, etc. Later she told me to carry on with my routine and said she'd handle the hosting duties. I had one of those 72-hour nightmare shifts, we had countless admissions, and only got to sleep very occasionally. It is safe to say I was almost a zombie by the time I got home.After I got home, took a shower and told my girlfriend I was going to sleep a little bit. I set an alarm to get up and help my GF in the kitchen, watch a movie or something. I slept through the whole day and got up around 10PM. When I went downstairs, I saw my GFs parents and her brother. I had completely forgotten about my GF's family coming over later that day. They had a very unimpressed look. My girlfriend's mother told me it was extremely disrespectful of me to not be there to welcome them the first time they were coming over to visit. I got similar comments from all of them. (My GF said she purposefully didn't wake me up because I was going to go back to the hospital in a few hours and I needed my sleep. Her family didn't change their minds.)Her brother later told me (privately) that I was neglecting my girlfriend and being selfish in this relationship. He said his sister deserved much better than someone who wouldn't even acknowledge her family.I feel horribly about all this. I asked a few friends but they're all terrible when it comes to these kinds of advice. I honestly don't know.  AITA?Edit:  I was allowed to leave the hospital around 2 PM, got home around 3 PM, took a shower and went to sleep at 3.30, I set an alarm for 6 PM but slept through it. They arrived at around 5.",AITA for sleeping the whole evening away when my GF's family came to visit?,NTA
10tz678,Before this starts I’m 19. So this happened like 2 or 3 hours ago. Me my mom and dad were getting ready to head to dinner. I don’t get cold easily so I usually just go places in a t shirt and bring my hoodie with me. So I’m about to go out and my mom says put a hoodie on. I say I don’t want to. We go back and forth getting louder i eventually give in cause I don’t wanna do this shit. Now she says I owe her an apology. AITA?,AITA for not applogizing to my mom?,NTA
10u042f,"Last year i started to live in my Boyfriend’s (24 years old) house because it was closer to my school, I am 20 years old. My boyfriend still lives with his parents so i always felt grateful to be there.After a while living in their home, some months passed by, their house was robbed. Even though i was innocent and had nothing to prove otherwise, his mother started to think it was my fault, I was already expecting that it would happen because of course I’d be the first suspect, I was living there for not a long time.She began to act cold and my boyfriend had to go through my phone just to be sure I didn’t had nothing that could go against me.She was obviously trying to sabotage my relationship with his son.For a year I felt like I was an imposter in their life, like no one wanted me there. I cried and cried everyday because I just wanted to go home but my boyfriend asked me to stay. A year or so had passed, we moved to another city.She no longer thinks I was the responsible for the robbery, at least I think so, but I can’t feel comfortable around her anymore. My boyfriend begged me to forget what happened because she was suffering from PTSD at the time but I just can’t… I suffered a lot at the time and I just can’t feel that I am welcome once again. He told me I was being an asshole because I was holding back feelings.So… am I the asshole for not feeling comfortable around my mother-in-law and wanting to go home?",AITA for not feeling comfortable around my mother-in-law?,NTA
10tt7mx,"So I'm 15, and I was given a phone for free. The only cost to my mom in this scenario is any startup fees and a protective screen. It's not even a deal that was worked out, it's no strings attached. I was given the phone today. My uncle had me texting my mom through his phone (I type quicker and he generally dislikes typing), and had me tell her I got the phone. She asked what it was, and was upset when being told it is a Samsung A11. Me nor my uncle had any say what phone I got, but I'm admittedly glad it is. To quote her, she's upset because, ""harder to spy on her shit with that one"". I was upset, because she treats me like I'm irresponsible. I was when she last trusted me with my own device, at 10 and unsupervised, but I'm 15 now, and she will admit herself I'm more mature. Well, she called to discuss expectations with me. Some of them I understand, but there's also some that I think are ridiculous. For example; No texting anyone but her and my uncle. This stuck out to me, because she knows I have friends and a boyfriend. Well I asked her about it, because I want to be able to talk to my friends outside of just school, which would mean texting. And I mentioned I saw the text about spying and was confused about what she meant. I understand going through it if I get in trouble, but she phrased it as more than that. Well, she meant weekly checking everything. Down to my contacts list to make sure it isn't anyone she doesn't want me talking to. I brought up that I didn't like that, because it just makes me feel creeped out. I already know privacy is lacking in this house, but it seems more like stalking than doing anything for my own safety. She's pretty upset with me now, and threatening to not activate the phone at all. So, AITA?","AITA for not wanting my mom to ""spy on my shit""?",NTA
10tplsk,"AITA for not checking to see if my husband has two passports?Recently I did all the paperwork for renewing my family's passports. When I went to check my husband's passport's expiration date, I grabbed the first unmarked passport of his (we have some expired ones in the same drawer that are all hole-punched or the corners have been removed). We even had a brief conversation of ""is that the most recent one?"" and I said ""its not hole-punched so it must be recent.""Anyways, we submit the paperwork and my husband just got a phone call saying we submitted the wrong passport.  Turns out my husband thought he had lost his passport in 2016 and put in a whole new application, so he had two ""active"" passports.Now we are playing the blame game and my husband says its my fault for not checking every passport and I say its his fault for not telling me he had two active passports.AITA for not checking every single passport?",AITA for not checking to see if my husband has two passports?,NTA
10u6i1l,"Alice(26f) and I (19f) became really good friends at our job, and we kept it going even after she got fired. I think she resented me for still working there even though I ended up getting fired a month later for unrelated reasons.Recently A introduced me to Taylor and tells me that they're best friends. also end up meeting Taylor's bf, Gabe. G is a very blunt guy, but still super nice to people. When we met I found out that they don't own a car and told them both that if they ever needed a ride anywhere I'd be more than happy to help(I've told A something similar even though she has her own car).After we all hung out, A created a gc with all of us. T ended up going to jail and G started texting the gc often about how much he missed her and all the letters he's sending her (I found out he doesn't talk to people outside of T and his family). G loves art and constantly sent pics of his work to the gc. A sent a pic of her drawing and G told her it was great but she could probably do more work on the legs. A blew up on him for that, and he ended up leaving the gc because of it. After he left the gc, I texted him and basically said that she was wrong for what she did and that if he ever needed anything I'd be thereThe 1st time G asked for a ride (a few days before the argument) A found out and ended up coming along even though none of us invited her, I found out after this that G didn't feel comfortable around A. That A and T weren't really as close as A made it seem and that T noticed that A only really comments or swipes on posts if G is in them. Both T and G said they don't really like when G is with A cause it makes them uncomfortable even though she has a bf.G asked if I could drive him to visit T, I agreed (this isn't the first time I've driven him somewhere) and omw to pick him up I get a call from A asking where I'm at, I say I'm going to hangout with a friend. A says that G texted her cause he wanted to know how far away I was. I say that I'm 2 min away, and that I didn't tell her where was going because thought that she was still upset with him (she tells me that they started texting the day after the argument and that they're fine now). I get to G's and he tells me that A called me shady bc didn't tell her I was going to see him. Today get a text from A saying this ""hey ik i already said so im still a little upset and feel like should communicate that out of respect bc just don't appreciate taking over people i know and acting like i have no business in it. I care a lot about T so therefore care about G""I did kinda disrespect her by actively keeping it from her, however unintentional and do see how that could be hurtful. But, I don't think should stop trying to befriend T just cause A was friends with her first. also don't think I'm wrong to give him rides if he asks","AITA for ""taking over"" her friends?",NTA
10txq0i,"So it's my (32f) and BFs (31m) first anniversary tomorrow (been friends for over 10 years).  We went to a gokart place he wanted to about 90 mins away, then 30 mins from that (closer to home) we went to a sculpture place.  Leaving the gokart place on the way to the sculpture place we got in a small...disagreement.  it wasn't completely an argument but basically he said that I follow too many rules (I dont) and that he's not going to let me prevent him from doing what he wants.  I think I break rules when it makes sense and I think he makes things stressful by seemingly NEVER following rules.  For instance, we went on vacation about 4 months into our relationship and went kayaking.  They told us to wear our life vests.  He was a swimmer and lifeguard so he didn't want put it on, and I'm like dude just do it.  But it's uncomfortable for him.  So he puts it on and doesn't buckle.  Then at one point during the tour we were near an oyster farm and they said to not get close as to not disturb the oysters.  Well he's paddling closer to see something about the dock and I'm paddling away (in the same kayak) and he starts getting snippy with me being like wtf are you doing?? And I'm like ?? Wtf are YOU doing??  (He swears we weren't that close but it was shallow and I can't see the bottom of the kayak to know how far or close we were to them, it wasn't more the 6 inches).It's just small things like that.  I follow the rules when I think they make sense OR when breaking the rules causes too much of a headache.  He said that I have too much anxiety from my mom (I do) but generally, I know when my anxiety is irrational, like how terrified I am about airplanes.Anyway, we go to the sculpture place that's outside, so they're big and secured to withstand weather.  But right off the bat he walks right up to one and starts touching it and gently knocking on it to see the material, cuz he's very very curious about things, too.  I moved on but I was like wow, already?  So we move on and later he starts walking up to one that had a camera point right at it and I'm like can you stop, there is a camera RIGHT there. And he was like WHAT? And I was like you're too close, and he's like are you fking kidding me? I didn't do anything wrong, I didn't touch it.  And I was like well I thought you might cuz you already did, you're just not supposed to get that close, it's disrespectful.  He tried to argue and I just continued the rest of the way since it was towards the end.Now we're having a tense and silent ride home.  I feel like I'm right and it's respectful to stand back from people's art, but maybe I shouldn't have policed him, plus there weren't signs that said do not touch so maybe since they're secure and durable it's okay to touch them (there was a sign at the beginning saying don't climb on things or pick flowers).ETA I know he sounds like a terrible person, but these all stem from him thinking he knows better.  He wouldn't have touched anything of someone else's if he feels he can do harm.  He's turned down using things of others unless he feels like he's 100% sure he won't harm it.  He bends the rules when he genuinely thinks he's doing no harm OR when the harm is only towards himself, hence the lifejacket argument.  He understands lifejackets and fully supports me wearing one, but also would trust me if I said I didn't need it and wants me to trust that he knows his own capabilities.I do trust his capabilities, but IMO just because you *can* touch something without doing damage doesn't mean you *should* out of respect. Plus, ""don't worry, I got this"" is everyone's famous last words before disaster strikes.",AITA for saying something when my boyfriend got too close to a sculpture?,NTA
10tw4c6,"I left because of prior commitments to friends coming up from SC. She was aware of them before we left for the gathering. We spent 4 hours there, saw all of them 3 months ago, had dinner, played games, watched Purdue vs. IN ( Go Hoosiers!) And talked about good ol drama. I reminded her of the plans, and that I'd miss them if we didn't leave soon. But she refused to leave and states that we had these plans before mine, therefore it takes precedence, and I should stay there the whole time, which was going to be enough time to miss out on the promise I made.Edit for missing details:  I made the promise to our friends the morning of, and my wife heard me at this time. Also backed me up by saying we'll be back around 6:30/7 as we left. Once she refused to leave, she started saying things like fine I'll go home with my parents just go. I reiterated that we've mostly filled out the obligation to her family imo. Ps sorry for poor quality posting I'm bad at writing. AITA?",AITA for leaving my wife's family get together?,NTA
10tzk5y,"My boyfriend (now ex) (28M) and I (23F) were together for three years. Our sex life wasn’t great anymore and the contributing element was that he was almost 30, without a degree or a job, living in his mom’s basement. He kept promising he was going to do great things, and I stayed for three years supporting him and believing him whenever he would say he was going to “change the world one day”.Truth was, he was a pathological liar, a WoW addict, smoked weed every morning, and would leave the house for 10+ hours at a time lying about being in college (he dropped out in secret) or at work (he would constantly get fired) while he was buying other sorts of drugs and hanging out with strangers met on Reddit.Because of that, we decided to open our relationship and the only rule was to disclose everything with one another, also we were not allowed to flirt with family members and friends. Of course that was the first thing he did, starting with my sister (19F) and most of my female friends. Followed by 16 other girls and OnlyFans subscriptions.One of my friends, I’ll call her G (21F) which I didn’t know that well at the time, called me one day, telling me that he lied about not being in open relationship so she would make out with him. She said during the call that the only reason she went along with him was because she was tired of being a virgin and was basically going after every person she knew to have her first experiences with. After that event I helped her feel less anxious and convinced her to take her time and search for someone she loved instead.Forward almost a year later, I am now with my new amazing boyfriend and his family at a gathering, and G is there with us. My boyfriend’s mom then asked how we became friends, and I explained that we bonded over my ex cheating on me with her. Everybody became interested in the story, so I started talking about all the narcissistic and horrible things my ex did, how he wasted three years of my life and lied to all his family and friends about making so much money and how each day it was a brand new lie.That’s when I said I was glad that G called me and basically saved me from that horrible situation. She replied saying it kinda sucks though that the most experience she’s ever had was with him, and I said “Oh but you were desperate at the time, you have so much higher standards now”.She later told me in private that she felt disrespected by me calling her “desperate” in front of my boyfriend’s mom. I tried explaining that I was trying to do the exact opposite and give reasoning to why she would ever go for someone like him, and I even told her that I was probably very desperate myself to even give that relationship so many chances even after all the cheating and lying.I don’t think my explanation helped and she just said it was ok, but I still feel like I did something wrongSo AITA for calling my friend “desperate”?",AITA for calling my friend “desperate”,YTA
10tuib4,"I was in the process of hiring a long-distance moving company that specializes in moving a certain type of heavy item. I asked insurance questions, was told they've never been more insulted, and they canceled the move.Here's a summary of the emails:Me: Hi, how much does it cost to move *item*. Here's *pertinent moving info*.Them: Here's the cost.Me: Thanks. It's one of the higher quotes I've gotten but I'm inclined to choose you because of your positive reviews. I'd like to know if you do XYZ (very basic questions specific to item) and do you carry insurance?Them: Answers basic questions. Yes, we carry up to *$large amount of insurance*.Me: Sounds good. If the item is damaged in your possession, do you cover repairs by a qualified repairperson near me? I'd need a written guarantee.Them: Yes. I'm sending you the name of our insurance agent and I'll have them name you on the certificate of insurance. I'd just recommend you have the item appraised beforehand.Me: Thank you for taking the time to explain. Exact quote from me, ""Would you please have your insurance agent reach out so I can get a sense of what’s covered?""Them: Arranging the logistics but don't make any mention of the insurance.Me: Confirming the logistics and asking if the insurance agent will reach out soon.Insurance Agent: Emails me directly and says to see attached cert showing coverage.Me: Hi insurance agent, I have a few practical insurance questions. What happens if there's an accident, regardless of fault, and the item gets destroyed? Will I get a close replacement *item* or a check instead? As long as the *item* is close enough to the original, I'm good. If there's relatively minor damage during transport, can I hire a local repairperson to fix it? In the event of an accident, who pays the deductible? At this time we don't plan on getting the *item* appraised but based on numerous online listings, we think it's worth *X*.Moving Company: Exact quote with specifics removed, ""We have decided to not move forward with this move without an appraisal. An item that is over *long time* years old will most likely have *issues specific to item*, normal wear and tear, etc.. You are guessing at the value without having a professional look at the item, which is why I recommended having it appraised. That was for your protection and ours. I felt I answered your questions and tried to make you feel comfortable with hiring us but apparently not. I don't appreciate you emailing our insurance agent personally. **We have been doing this for over *long time* years and have never been this insulted.** So with all this concern, I feel it would be best if you hire someone in your area to come down and get it, that way if anything were to happen, it would be done by someone local to you, which I feel you would be more comfortable with.""",AITA for asking questions about a moving company's insurance policy?,YTA
10tlsz8,"I (27f) lost my mom 11 months ago. It was so unexpected and out of the blue. I will say that she was unwell but it wasn’t anything to do with her passing. The morning I got the call I had spoken to her an hour before and everything seemed fine. She was shopping in town and was planning her evening (she was going to have my son for the night). My phone rang and it was as my brother, he said she had passed out the toilets in town and she was on the way to the hospital. I’ll never forget when he said “she’s not looking good, I don’t know think she’s going to wake up”. I was so confused and worried. I got to the hospital and they said they were doing tests and scans but eventually they told us she had a bleed on the brain, a stroke which left her paralysed on her left side and she had fallen into a coma. I sat by her bedside for 4 days just talking to her, holding her hand and just begging her not to leave me. They eventually told us they were taking her off life support. I regret that I didn’t tell her everything I wanted to. I hate myself for not saying more. Not doing more. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find anyone to look after my son so I had to go home and that night at 12:32am she passed away alone bcos none of my siblings wanted to stay. After she passed I had to tell everyone, arrange her funeral and collect her ashes and I had to empty out her house and sort her finances. I asked everyone to help me and they all said no. My brother said “you didn’t bother staying with her the night she passed so why you bothering with all this?”. It really upset me bcos I really wanted to be there but without a babysitter, I physically couldn’t. He could have but all he cared about was her money which he took before she had even passed. I continued to ask a few more people to help and they all said no and that I was an AH bcos I didn’t stay with her but now I’m doing this. I don’t have a lot of family. I lost my nan and aunt 1 year apart and my grandad has dementia. I have no dad and no friends. I feel so awful for not being there with her and I hate myself for it. I can’t eat or sleep and I have nightmares where I can’t save her. I miss her so much and I blame myself for her being alone. Was I the AH here?Edit: Just to make things more clear, I worry if I’m the AH bcos maybe I could have tryed to find a babysitter? I don’t have anyone that I know who I would trust with my son. He has ADHD and Autism. He’s very particular about a lot of things and I don’t want anyone I don’t trust watching him. I just feel very bad and very conflicted about the situation. My mom lived with me for 4 years bcos no one else would help her. I loved that woman and now I feel so truly awful.",AITAH for not being with my mom when she passed away?,NTA
10tnb9s,"I (25M) usually cook all the meals for me and my girlfriend (25F) throughout the week I'm just the better cook, but on weekends she normally makes breakfast. Today and like the past month or so she tried to make bacon, but it was burnt to an absolute crisp like black all over with maybe a smidgen of non burnt in the middle. Yeah the waffles, sausage, and eggs were great I tell her that everytime, but like every other time she tried to cook bacon and I told her it was burnt and tried to correct her methods ""just take it off a little earlier"" ""turn down the heat a little"". Hell, I even showed and taught her how to make it 3 times in the past month. My only real issue is we split the groceries and I buy the bacon, its expensive I guess inflation. But now she's upset and not speaking to me because I didnt eat the bacon and that I wasnt grateful. I'm upset because the bacon was a waste and now it resembles strips of charcoal in the trash can. I even proposed the solution that I will cook the bacon if need be no big issue. She doesn't eat bacon, so it's not like she's cooking it for herself too. AITA?TLDR: GF always burnin the good bacon till its black and crispy even after I taught her how to make it multiple times. Now she's mad at me for not eating it.",AITA for being upset about burnt bacon?,NTA
10tjsqr,"So, my brother and my dad have helped me many times with things like moving or putting together furniture or just whatever. I help them out too, it’s not a one-way street.  The weird thing is that when I need help, I ask for it. But nobody ever asks me for help. They always talk to my mom and then she ends up telling me and making the arrangements.  A couple times, she’s let me know that my brother is going to need my help with something, but then he makes other arrangements. Like, she said he would need me to babysit for him, but then his in-laws came into town and did it.  It’s annoying to me for a couple reasons. It puts me in kind of a limbo area where I’m not sure if I should make plans or not. Also, I just think it’s weird that people don’t actually ask for my help. Why is this going through my mother at all? Are they expecting me to offer my help after my mom tells me about it?  So, I told my mom that I didn’t need any “heads up” that someone would be asking me for a favor. They could just ask me, and I can handle it. She still did it though. Last week, she told my that my dad and brother are putting together a piece of furniture for my brother that requires three people, so my brother would probably be asking for my help. I just said, “Oh, yeah I haven’t heard anything about it” and changed the subject.  So, my brother never said anything to me at all. Then the day of, my mom started asked if I’m going to be at my brother’s house. I said, “He never said anything about it.” And that was it. I mean, I didn’t know if he got someone else. I didn’t know what time people were getting there. He knew it was a three-person job, so I thought it was fair to assume he made the necessary arrangements.  Turns out he didn’t. He assumed I’d be there. My mom ended up having to help and hurting her back. Now she’s mad at me. She said I could have come over and helped. That they do a lot for me, and I should have returned the favor. This is true, but I would 100% have gone over there if he had asked me to. AITA?",AITA for not helping my brother put together his furniture because he never actually asked me to?,NTA
10skz7u,"I am 30. Since I was a child he has always said he would pay for my wedding. About 5 years ago he started a relationship with lady with quite extreme views. She is a vegan, which is fine but she is very judgemental to how I live. She doesn’t agree with cancer scans (like smear tests, mammograms etc) because vegans “don’t get cancer”, when I had my daughter she said I should be feeding her almond milk. She once came to my house for dinner and I cooked a chicken for me and my family and a nut roast for my father and her. She later dug a hole in my garden to give the chicken bones a proper funeral because she was so “heartbroken to see us eating it’s blood and flesh”.I wish I was joking.  She has also accused me of trying to steal her fathers house. I have never met her father, I have never set foot in her fathers house. All I know is he died recently. I had communicated some cost of living worries to my dad (not asking for money) and she ran with it and said I was trying to manipulate her into giving me her inheritance. I do not want her inheritance. Long story short, my father will only pay for my wedding if it’s vegan. This not only includes food, but shoes, alcohol, what other people wear (E.g. leather) and anything else you can think of. I might have been ok with vegan food, but I’m not ok with policing what others wear or food they may bring for their babies (even formula) etc. This has upset me. It’s not really about the money, we are having a very small and cheap do anyway. In the run up to the wedding this woman has also been extremely rude to my mother. On reflection I have now decided it’s best all round that they do not attend. She’s now telling my dad’s side of the family that it’s just about the money and that I am bitter because I didn’t get her dad’s house (Why on Earth would I be given her dads house?!) and that my dad isn’t paying for my wedding, but to be honest it’s not really about the money. I don’t want to be controlled over what I can and can’t do on my wedding day, I’m sick of her judgement (and his, now she’s gotten her claws into him) and I just think it will be better for me, my siblings and my mother if they do not come. I also don’t want to be lectured over milk, dairy, honey, palm oil you name it, on my wedding day and I don’t want to put my guests through it either. AITA?",AITA for uninviting my dad to my wedding because he refuses to pay anything towards it unless it is vegan?,NTA
10u003t,"Before I start, this one is a very soft ""AITA"" question and my friend didn't call me an a-hole for it, but he was a bit pissed about it.Long story short, my friend got a new girlfriend and told me about her. I was super happy for him and we started talking about how they met, for how long they know each other and what she's like. The usual stuff. About 15 minutes into the conversation, I asked him if he could show me a picture of her. He refused, saying he doesn't have one yet and her only publicly available picture (whatsapp) is blurry and old. He also was angry at me for asking to see a picture of her, because ""looks don't matter and that's not the third or fourth question to ask a friend about their new partner"".I guess his implication was that my question was shallow and superficial, but honestly I don't think that asking to see how my friend's new GF looks is an ill-intended question.So, was he right and that question was indeed inappropriate?",AITA for asking my friend to show a picture of his new GF?,NTA
10tllh3,"My roommate has become increasingly rude and passive aggressive when she doesn’t like something over the last six months. She’s been creating an incredibly negative energy in our apartment. All of us say things like “hey, I’m sorry but..” and say “please” when we ask for things but she just demands and acts demeaning toward everyone in the group chat.  We had a meeting with all four of us to discuss expectations, as we all had something we wanted to discuss (like drying dishes, not overloading trash can, ext.) and at the end I said that we should be respectful of one another and especially not swear at one another when making requests or when we notice something we don’t like. I stated we all get angry and frustrated sometimes but we need to be respectful regardless. She started to lose her temper and rant about everything she doesn’t like and began blaming me for a variety of things. We all just awkwardly ended the meeting and went to our rooms after that. This is partially on me but I shut down when people lose their tempers. I know this comes from living w an abusive ex but I just have very little trust with temperamental people. I texted in the morning saying she was really aggressive when I literally tried to ask her to be less aggressive. Then I stated that we all do things wrong (and pointed out some times she did things that none of us over reacted/ got angry about). I told her I would not be speaking to her without an RA present (we’re in college) because I am uncomfortable with how she has been communicating with others. She began acting like you can literally talk to me and I said if you don’t see an issue with how you acted then I don’t see a solution. She responded by laughing at the message and then I blocked her. I know it’s childish but she genuinely gives me anxiety. If she had apologized or at least said she understands where she went wrong I would have talked to her but she just blows up and rants at people. When I tried to calmly talk to her during the meeting she freaked out. Then we made a meeting with the RA and she didn’t show up (disrespecting my time and the RAs.) I was literally going to apologize in that meeting for over reacting and texting in the group chat when I had issues with her.Should I just apologize and try talking to her? AITA for refusing to communicate with her without mediation?",AITA for refusing to talk to my roommate who loses her temper and is rude often?,NTA
10ttuos,UPDATE: I've responded that there should be been a discussion first before assuming others will spend large amounts of money but the responsibility falls to the landlord so I won't be paying. Will leave it between her and him to discuss. Thanks!EDIT: the landlord is the other flatmate and another owner currently living overseas. We are based in New Zealand. Historically if someone has ever found an insect inside it hasn't been a big deal and weve never had infestations.My (F25) flatmate (F30) found a small cockroach about 1 cm in her room two days ago. Me and the other flatmate went away that day and came back yesterday to find a series of long messages telling us she had bought $60 worth of bug spray and an exterminator was coming for $180 during the week (she charged these amounts so they were split between the three of us) and that we need to take it seriously and evacuate the house. This was done without consulting either of us.I'm a recent graduate and have a really low income compared to her. I don't believe finding a single insect necessarily means there is an infestation and responded to her series of messages saying I don't have the money to fork out for it and don't necessarily believe it is necessary. She's angry and saying it's a health hazard and I have to.AITA for not paying?TLDR; flatmate found a small cockroach and  is forcing my flatmate and I to pay for assortments of bug spray and an exterminator for $80 each without consulting us. I'm refusing to pay. AITA,AITA for refusing to fork out for an exterminator when my flatmate found a small cockroach?,NTA
10tngnd,"Me (20M) got a horrible back pain recently to the point I couldn’t get up at all. I couldn’t walk and I was in a horrible pain. ( everything is alright now) My boyfriend (22M) decided to call the ambulance.About a hour later, no ambulance. At this point I was actually crying. My boyfriend kept insisting to call the ambulance again so he did. 10 minutes later, they  showed up.  I was really mad so I said that they should’ve came earlier, because if it was something more serious I could’ve died. The ambulance guy raised his voice a bit and told me that I was wrong and they arrived as quickly as possible . I then started yelling that I know when I called and it took them half an hour to come and he was in wrong. I was really angry and I admit I was pretty rude towards the guy.  We then calmed down and it turned out that they didn’t even get our first call so it wasn’t really the guy’s fault. I feel bad that I let my anger and didn’t talk normally with the guy but  I was in so much pain and I couldn’t hold my emotions at that moment. So AITA? Also sorry for any grammar errors",AITA for yelling at the ambulance?,YTA
10tt489,"My friend \[29F\] has been looking for a new job for a while. I \[22M\] also have, but in a more junior position given my lack of experience. Because my experience is less, in our profession, junior employees are in less demand. Her senior position however is in high demand, and she's proven her worth, so she's had more success. I've been struggling.She just got the position, this week, and was excited to tell me about it. Couple days ago, she spoke to me for easily 30 minutes about a recent conversation she had with her future boss, and was clearly very excited. I told her congratulations multiple times, that I was happy for her and think she's making a good decision.Near the end of our time hanging out, she asked me if I've been stressed with the job search. I asked her if she could refer me to any of her close friends/colleagues in our profession, like give them pointers, or just introduce me so I can chat with them. An argument ensued, and she told me that she thought I should be celebrating her and happy for her instead of ""making everything about me.""Was I being an asshole for asking for referrals too soon? She got the good news the day before, but I felt the referrals would be relevant. She's now upset. I probably could've waited longer, but I didn't know when else I should bring it up.",AITA for asking friend for job referral immediately after celebrating her good news?,NTA
10trglx,"I am a grad student. Basically I have a colleague who I don't quite vibe with. I'm several years above him, but I have found he relies quite a bit on extra work from me to decrease his workload. I am a woman in case this is relevant.The latest is that he is TAing for a math course that I have TAed several times for. He's out of his depth, and so wants me to provide my solutions to all previous assignments for the last few year, so that he can just TA the course based on my work. He doesn't want to just ask me questions, or run his solutions by me, he wants my work, and he wants all of it.  I have these solutions because part of my job was to provide them for students.I initially agreed, because I like being helpful and I thought it would improve our working relationship. But it turns out that I don't want to spend a couple of hours digging for old documents just so that someone who doesn't like me and isn't grateful for the things I do can have an easier time than I did, and not put in the effort himself. His sole motivation in life is to never ""go over his hours"", which I'm sympathetic to, but it's grad school. I've just sort of hit a limit of me providing unpaid work for others. The deciding factor for me here is that this person is someone who has talked shit about me and doesn't seem to respect me.My issue is that he is sending me several emails a week asking me to send him my work. I've replied everytime that I'm too busy (true, I'm burnt out), but he keeps writing. Ghosting probably wouldn't have huge consequences, as he's several years behind me. WIBTA if I either ghosted him or said ""I have decided not to perform unpaid labour for you""?",WIBTA if I decline to share my work after agreeing to share my work,NTA
10ub4aj,"Hellow! First time poster. I have a good friend that whenever we go out she get very drunk and changes in personality. She get super nagging, sensitive to criticism, cries offends people and gets in risky situations like going to strangers houses at the end of the night. She has gotten in some dangerous situations several times and calls me crying the next day. She is very social and loves to party so it’s hard to suggest other ways we could spend time. I have watched this behavior for three years but I couldn’t just be a witness anymore so I decided to tell her very carefully. I told her that I love her as a person but when she gets drunk she gets to unpredictable. I also said that I don’t want to drink with her anymore. She understandably got very angry and offended and has since gone on a hate campaign. She has sent med several messages sags Calling me names, telling me I am judgmental and cruel and that I need to take responsibility for not being able to handle unpredictably. And bringing up stuff I told her in private against Me. I am very hurt and surprised by this and don’t know how to respond to these messages ? I need some advice.  Was I the asshole for confronting her with the drinking behavior iour ?",AITA for confronting friend about her drinking ?,NTA
10tgcqg,"I'm 24f, currently working on my master Thesis and working part time.During studying bachelor's i lived with my mom. I started college when I was 17 and in my country it's nearly impossible to get a job if you're under 18, you also can't have a bank account if you're minor. I didn't have any allowence or has any pocket money so i couldn't afford anything by myself. The only thing was a scholarship so college was free for me and sometimes i would have some money on top, but the only things i could afford where books or materials for college.During my time on college i saved some money from some side gigs and after graduating i was able to find a job in my industry. I was accepted for a masters degree in another country, so i moved out and I'm living there from my savings and what i earn part time.Before my mom never helped me financially, but bought plane tickets for me, because my initial flight was cancelled due to covid and I could get my money back. The only things she would provide was sometimes food and I was allowed to leave at her home. I never even had a room, i just always slept on the couch. There was a few times where i lived on campus because it was better than that.My mom is an addict and she lives her life to the fullest, she always buys what she wants, goes on party's and goes on vacation 2-3 times a year. I or my brother never where abroad or on a vacation, she just waited until we were old enough to let us alone and since then she travels a lot. She also picked up a few expensive hobbies.When she figured out i have saved up some money she demanded me to gift it to her. She also said something upon the lines that if i would work more, would sell all what i own, that then i could take a mortgage to buy a bigger house for her. No idea how i was supposed to do that all i had was 3-4k, while a tiny shitty studio costs 50.000.000 in my area.My mom also was never supportive of me or my career choices. But after i moved countries she appreciates it a lot and acts like it's her achievement and not mine.While she was visiting me she always made fun of me how poor i am.Soon I'm gonna be graduating and I'm gonna work full time. Yesterday my mom called me to ask how my job hunt is going and stuff. She casually mentioned that she wants me to financially support her when she gets ""old and poor"". I don't want that. I don't think I'm gonna be paid badly, but not enough to support an addict who neglected me and spend all her money on herself. Like why I supposed to pay for your vacation so i cant do one myself.My mom also tryed convince me to sleep with wealthy men and scam my dad (their divorced) and give her the money.My family is sure I'm being an asshole and a brat and that i owe my mother for giving me the gift of life and such",AITA for not wanting to financially support my mom when she is old,NTA
10tpnc7,Me(23f) and my fiancé (24m) have been together for 2 years and recently got engaged this past summer. Our original date was 21SEP24 but due to a lot of competition from other brides at our chosen venue we are on the waitlist for 14SEP24 instead. I had originally given the 21st as the date when asking my bridesmaids but told them nothing is set in stone until the venue accepts us. I have been communicating with them via group chat whenever something changes and when I posted the new date I got a private text from lizzie (27f) (not Real Name) saying she could no longer be in my party unless I changed the date. When I asked her why she informed me that her “kiss date” with her boyfriend (20m) of 4 months was September 14th and she was planning on getting married that day. I was confused but accepted her backing out because I had no interest in trying to find a new date. This was in January and It wasn’t mentioned again until this Last week when a mutual coworker made a comment about the Date and how it was really weird that I am “stealing” her day and theme. Apparently lizzie has been complaining to the office and other mutualste about the whole situation and now some people are divided. We have been friends for 2 years and our friendship seems to be over because of this whole thing. I want to also include that they are not engaged and this would be her 3rd marriage in 4 years.,WIBTA for getting married on my coworker/friends wedding date?,NTA
10txi73,"For context, my (25NB) mom has 8 siblings and my fiancé’s (28M) mom has 7 siblings. Immediate family alone, we’re at over 100 people (aunts, uncles, cousins and their partners, even excluding cousins kids!). My parents have offered to help pay for our wedding, though the exact amount/% covered seems to vary from convo to convo. My partner wants a small, spooky wedding. I also would love a spooky wedding, but maybe not as small as he wants since I work part-time in the wedding industry as a side job, and feel like since I help make other couples’ weddings “perfect” for them that I should get to experience that too. For us, “perfect” would be the people closest to us who have made the most impact, some good food and booze, great music, and lots of dancing with spooky vibes. For the most part my parents are on board. But they said I can’t “have my cake and eat it too”…either we do a small destination wedding or elopement style wedding and barely invite our families (including “family” aka family friends who I saw weekly to monthly vs blood relatives I saw maybe twice a year) OR we have to invite EVERYONE and have this almost 200 person wedding. We live in the Northeast. There IS no cheap wedding options for THAT MANY PEOPLE unless you legit own property large enough to accommodate (then you have to rent so much shit).AITA for not wanting to invite 1/2-2/3 my blood relatives, invite the “family” that ACTUALLY took part in raising me, and our close friends? (My partner would get to invite whom he wants, this isn’t about his side). I feel like I am but honestly….I can’t afford a 200 person wedding and it seems unfair that my options are 50 people or all 200 and nothing in between! We just want to enjoy our wedding without so much DRAMA and it seems nothing we suggest to either sets of parents “works” for them.",AITA for not wanting to invite my whole family to my wedding?,NTA
10tffrb,"I (24F) live with my mom (50sF) and younger sister (19F). In my country, it's traditional that you live with your parents until you get married and move out with your partner. I WFH rotational shifts. I usually prefer to work at night starting 6 PM, or graveyard shift starting 10 PM. After I finish my nine-hour shift, I always do the dishes, tidy up, put laundry in wardrobe if there's any, sweep, take out trash. My mom is SAHM and does the grocery shopping & cooking. My younger sister is in college and only does chores during winter/ summer breaks. My work is basically customer experience chat support. It gets overwhelming during rush hours and sometimes I can't even move from one chair to another because I'm so focused and don't have the time to move.The issue here is that my mom absolutely berates me if I don't do chores WHILE working. I can be in the middle of rush time, finally have my 15-minute break, and she starts yelling about chores not being done. I tell her that I'm exhausted from work, and will get it done after I finish my shift. She argues that I'm just chilling in my break and if I have time to ""chill"" I can do chores. Sometimes, it's true. On rare occasions, I manage to sneak in chores during my work break or during work itself if I don't have any active chats or tasks.Just now we've had an argument. For today & yesterday I have had early morning shifts. I did the dishes yesterday, went to bed, but woke up to a sink full of dishes. Figured I'd do them later. I got hungry while working so during my 15-minute break I made an egg, and another for my sister cause she requested one too. I left the pan in the sink cause my break time was already over before I even managed to eat and thought I'd do the dishes later during my longer 30-minute break. Mom woke up and was absolutely livid when she saw the pan in the sink. I calmly explained that I didn't have time and I intended to get it done; it just had to wait for an hour. She kept yelling at me so I told her to save her yelling to the person who stacked up the dishes yesterday. She said it was herself but ""how dare"" I not clean up the mess. Again, I explained that I ran out of break time, am currently working, would get it done in an hour's time. She kept yelling at me so I quite frankly lost my shit and yelled back saying she had no understanding or empathy for me and shouldn't direct her anger at me everytime she was pissed (a habit of hers). She said I was the one with no empathy cause she was old and needed help around the house.Fyi, mom receives monthly pension for my late father & grandparents so rent & utilities are covered by this passive income. Otherwise, I'm financially independent (buy my own snacks, clothes, phone bill, fun money, etc)My younger sister ended up doing the dishes but said I was an ass for firing back at mom and shoulda let it slide (for the 100th time) cause mom seemed pretty hurt. AITA?",AITA for not doing the dishes?,NTA
10tyffo,"My fiancée (23F) and I (24M) are getting married in June, and wedding planning is in full swing. She’s come up with a lot of great ideas for the ceremony, but there is one thing we’re currently at a standoff on: she wants to play “Cbat” as she comes down the aisle.Now, we’re both quirky and fun-loving, and I am not opposed to having some off-beat elements in our wedding. But as much as I laughed at the Cbat post when it appeared, I think the specific sexual connotations with that song are going to make people wonder about our relationship and sex life and I think it’s inappropriate for that reason. My fiancée doesn’t care about the connotations, and thinks it would just be a hilarious song to play, and is kind of upset at me that I don’t think it would be funny. AITA here?",AITA for not wanting “Cbat” as our wedding processional?,NTA
10tqnng,"After 1 1/2 years living with my roomies, I started getting more serious with my partner. I stay over at his place a couple of nights a week. My aunt also went through a bad divorce + fell down the stairs, leaving her disabled and homeless. I spent a lot of time with my family trying to help out however I could, and came out the other end sensitive to my parents health (they are disabled and in their 60s).My roomies (old friends) were feeling lonely & they started being passive aggressive when I would come home after being gone. My protests were met with more passive aggressive comments. We've had some fights related to keeping the house tidy &I finally said fuck it, I'm not cleaning up after them anymore.I also cut gaming out of my life, I used to play for hours a day at my most depressed, Ive been trying to do other things like reading, going to the gym, etc, its been helping my mental health a ton. Roomies & I used to game together, now hangouts mostly consist of eating together or watching a show. And honestly, Ive felt kind of weird there for a while, drawn back into depression (they want me to join them on the couch for many hours a day, I want to be studying or attending events. Yes, Ive invited them to do these things with me.)This all came to a head when I gave them my 2month notice. Id talked it through with a mutual friend because I wanted to make sure my roomies and I were both supported. My roomies have been on a decline for the past few months (maybe years honestly), and I felt awful giving them the news when they feel so bad, but it hasn't seemed to get any better.I brought my partner in because in the past theyve yelled at me during arguments and I wanted someone in my corner. We told them I was worried about my family and was moving back home (I also don't think I can even afford living there now that I'm trying to go to college). Gave them the legal notice and told them theyre my friends, I love them despite our issues and if they need more than 2months I can give them more.They said Id basically abandoned them and it was obvious I didnt care about them or their friendship. We left so they could process, and theyve been posting guilt tripping things on social media, sent texts calling me a shitty friend whos been lying and scheming behind their backs, that this is the worst betrayal they've ever experienced. I told them I felt like they were bullying me and they just kept sending the texts. I went to go pick up some of my things and it was really weird, they watched me to make sure I didnt steal anything and had taken any pictures with me down and replaced them with plastic knives.They don't want to talk to me if my boyfriend is there, but I don't want 2 go in alone after all this. I know I havent been the best friend ever as I wasn't around all the time, but really felt like I was just taking the space I needed to better myself after being super mentally ill.",AITA for betraying my childhood best friend?,NTA
10tw8uz,"I'm going to preface this with some background information. I do not live with the mother, she is several states away and the child was the result of a summer fling during extended work travel. We were using birth control at the time but the child looked nothing like her ex. At about 7 months I questioned her on it and she reassured me I wasn't the father. But at about 1.5 years we started talking again and after some testing of both me and the ex, I was the father.During our first conversations when my fatherhood was established. I said I wanted to be in the child's life. She wanted the same because I guess her and the ex relationship went south quickly (it was before the child's paternity came in question). So I asked what exactly she was going to do with that situation because he was crushed by the news. She said she was going to let him see him occasionally and hoped he got over it eventually long term and moved on. I told her I understand this was a difficult situation and there's no real winners but I didn't think long term that was a healthy situation for the child, myself, her, or the ex. She agreed.She also wanted to attempt a relationship. So far that hasn't gone well but nevertheless, about 2 months into this I got some strange texts from her. Turns out it was the ex reading through our phone messages and texting me about wanting me out of her life, loving the ex, etc.. I questioned her on this and she said she was surprised but sort of brushed it off. I said she needed to make a decision on this and rip the bandaid off. This situation is going to get 10x worse the longer it lingers. She said she knows.Fast forward to recently when I recently tried to call my child for facetime and I find out he's not with her, but with her ex who is watching him. This absolutely floored me and I kind of exploded calling her a coward and asking what in the fuck is she thinking. I told her if she wants to be with her ex, fine, but I am absolutely not letting my child grow up with two fathers. She started to blame me for not being around (I have 90% work travel, she knew this before wanting to do this. And I put in effort to see them. We spent the holidays together meeting each other's families. I fly to them or vice versa. I'll go them on weekends, etc). I honestly don't think that's even relevant but basically she's trying to flip this on me now for getting angry about it and not ""supporting enough."" I told her I think she has extreme avoidance issues and is afraid to deal with conflicts or problems.Look, I understand our relationship is a bit messed up. Nothing can really be done about how things happened at this point. But am I wrong to think this situation with the ex is completely messed up? Most importantly for my son. I don't think it's healthy for him to have two fathers. The mother is now ignoring me completely and trying to paint me as the problem here. AITA or am I being gaslighted.",AITA for asking my child's mother to stop letting our son (1) spend time with her ex (who they thought the original father was)?,YTA
10trg2y,"This weekend, my grandma was staying with my aunt, and they asked me if my 10 month old daughter could spend the night. I texted my husband and asked him if he would be okay with that. He did not respond, and he purposefully avoided giving me a yes or no when I asked him in person. Time was running up, and I made the executive decision to say yes. He had said yes to her spending the night back in December, but plans fell through, and it didn't end up happening. When I told him that she was going to stay with my aunt and grandma, he got so angry with me and asked me why I would say yes to something like that. I told him that I asked him for his opinion, and he refused to give me an answer. He told me that he knew about his feelings towards my aunt and that our daughter was not allowed to be around her.Basically, my husband doesn't like my aunt because of her personality. There was never any sort of abuse or mistreatment. She just has a very strong personality and can sometimes be insensitive when she's expressing her opinion. He just carte blanche decided that our daughter is never allowed to be around her again without getting my input on that decision. I personally think a decision as serious as not allowing a family member to be around our daughter should probably be a well discussed, mutual decision and not something decided because he personally has a grudge.Anyways, he started saying things like I was taking his baby away from him, and I don't care about how he feels. She's spending one night at my aunt's house with people who I know love her and will take good care of her. That's hardly taking her away. Besides, I have not had an overnight break from the baby since she was about 4 months old. Sometimes parents need a night to themselves so they don't get burned out.He's acting like I just did this without consulting him instead of the reality that I asked him, and he made the choice not to give me a yes or a no. Am I the asshole for making that decision without him giving me an explicit yes?",AITA for sending my daughter to my aunts house without my husband's permission?,NTA
10tex56,"My parents borrowed almost USD4,000 from me in order to pay my sister's fee-reduced tuition fee (that was her entire tuition and admission fee within that USD4000 amount). Both for transfer rate- and overall-saving reasons, I paid it and my parents agreed to pay me back when my sister flies back home for spring break; the original plan was for my sister to receive the payment in cash and return it to me. I was happy to just let that happen; in fact when they asked me what the full amount was, I just said I'll tell them when I need it.Now, recently, my company has been doing some layoffs for a restructuring, and I work and live abroad for this company; my work visa is due for renewal in March. However, as a pretty low-level employee, and after a person was hired one job level above me in November (presumably to replace me when the time came and my replacement was sufficiently onboarded), I have enough reason to believe I might be laid off, or otherwise I might be forced to resign just so they don't pay my severance pay or straight up fire me. Additionally, my job is stressful due to my coworkers being quite bigoted against people like me, and my chronic illness (I won't say what, as it could reveal who I am) relapsed twice already over the past year due to the job and me catching COVID as a direct result of the job sending me on a business trip abroad, and as per doctors' orders, I honestly need a break as I've been working nonstop for almost 2 years now. Clearly, I need a plan to fly back home, and with the job market as it is, I may need a few months' worth of rent and food expenses till I find a new job, not to mention all the cancellation fees for my internet bill, rent, etc.Therefore, when my sister said yesterday that she's actually not flying back for spring break, I then asked my parents how I might get my money back. I explained to them my situation how I might be laid off or need to leave for these reasons above, and my father blew up and started insulting me and calling me weak, rude, irresponsible, and that I only care about money. I tried telling him to stop and he straight up called me cheap for asking for my money back. He knows I don't make that much a year, he's seen how terrible my apartment looks, I explained to him my job is underpaying me, might lay me off and force me to leave, and my coworkers are bigoted and have been causing me to relapse my chronic illness twice, and yet he thinks asking for USD4000 back, which is half of my net worth right now, is me just being money-hungry.For context, I'm not especially well-off, I'm young and I only make USD27,000 a year, and as mentioned my company has been seeing some layoffs recently. AITA for asking them to give me back the money especially since it looks like I may have to leave the country and will need the money when I fly back home?EDIT: I wanted to add that I actually went to the country I'm in right now not because I even want to live here but because one of the universities offered a full ride scholarship covering tuition and expenses, so I don't also owe them anything for tuition or any uni education since they didn't pay a dime of it for me.",AITA for asking my parents my ~$4000 back?,NTA
10t6427,"I (36F) am a first time mom to be and my husband (38M) is an amazing man, we usually get along really well, he has been super involved during both our wedding and my subsequent pregnancy - which came about a LOT quicker than either of us expected due to our age and everyone in our whole family harping on us to ""hurry up and have kids"" because ""it could take months and months if not a couple of years"" for me to conceive. Welp. One honeymoon night and a few weeks later I got the double line for the first time ever on the pee-stick. Soo yeah.This is when our argument really began, although it has already kind of been in the back of our minds as a potential issue once we did decide to start trying - his mom (my MIL) is what I consider to be a HEAVY smoker. She no longer smokes when I come over because she knows I am asthmatic and somewhat allergic to smoke, but her house is still literally INFUSED with smoke and the nicotine smell. I actually make sure to not wash my hair whenever I know I'm going to her house ahead of time so that I can wash it as soon as I get home, because it's so bad that my hair and clothes retain the smell and then it makes me sneezy, eye watery and sniffly going to bed, which I can't stand. I have also made it clear to husband whenever I go to her house for more than a couple of hours that it has become a sacrifice of my health that I'm making every time, because I start coughing really bad after a few hours there, and the next day in the morning I feel as though I've smoked a whole pack of cigarettes myself (in other words my lungs hurt, my nose is stuffed, and I feel like complete shit for a whole day after).Having said that, I truly do love my MIL, we get along really well most of the time and she is so sweet and caring- I always say I lucked out in the MIL department.I know quitting smoking is insanely difficult, but at some point don't you have to stop to think about how everyone around you is getting impacted by it? ALSO she is always more than welcome to come over our house but she apparently refuses to drive on the freeway and a 30 minute drive is too long for her... she is 62 years old. I personally find that ludicrous considering my parents are in their mid-60's and commuting over 2 hours a day on the fwy every day to work still. It just seems like it's her way or the highway on this, but I don't want my baby inhaling smoke and that's that. I don't know... AITA reddit??TL;DR I don't want to bring my newborn into my MIL's smoke-filled house but husband thinks I'm being too harsh and selfish for 'keeping baby away from grandma.' AITA?",AITA for not wanting to allow my future newborn/child to stay at his grandma's smoke-filled house?,NTA
10tqbdt,"So this starts off with something that happened just two days ago, I was T-Boned by a truck that shot out of a side street going 25-30 mph. It was the trucks fault and now we have to wait for the police report to come in before we can do anything. She completely screwed my car and it’s definitely totaled. I had to go in the ambulance because my neck and back were in a lot of pain. I am still in a lot of pain but luckily nothing is broken. I have been very angry and irritated about the situation as I am a student and a pharmacy tech who cannot go without a car. I have been quite irritable and angry about the situation saying that i am angry with the girl who hit me. I was told by one of my friends that i am being too dramatic and upset. I then went on to send them a long paragraph as to why it was appropriate for me to feel angry, they then shot another long paragraph back at me telling me i have been over exaggerating, overly upset, and that i need to just calm down because being angry doesn’t do anything to help the situation. I did not reply but i am now feeling guilty as though maybe i am being over dramatic. so AITA?",AITA for being extremely upset about my accident?,NTA
10sqh1a,"I've been in a relationship with my fiance for 7 years. We broke up several times but we always found a way back to each other. We've been through hell and back and we're more in love now than ever.My brother Joey has been with this girl Lana for 5 years and they have 2 kids together. She got pregnant with their first kid only a few months into their casual relationship and they got serious after that. My family and I tolerate her for the kids. She's kind of loud, competitive and self-centered and she copies me all the time because she's jealous I guess.Last October my fiance finally proposed to me, and a couple months later to everybody's surprise Joey proposed to Lana. He always said that he didn't want to marry her so this totally came out of left field. Lana claimed that they agreed to get married for tax reasons and they were in love too but I call BS. She couldn't stand that I'm getting married first so she forced my brother to propose. Next she set their wedding date to 1 month after mine to one up me because that's how she is. I thought that was not fair to our guests because some of them live out of town and they can't afford to fly here twice in 1 month for 2 weddings. My mom agreed with me and we went over to Joey's house to talk them into pushing their wedding date out farther. Joey and Lana got very defensive. Lana said that she always dreamed of a summer wedding and she had the perfect dress for it which was bright white and my mom made an unnecessary comment about how she shouldn't be wearing a white dress. It only pissed off my brother more and he screamed at us. I tried to get them to understand that they already have a wonderful family life... a house, kids, everything and I haven't gotten to start that life with my fiance so the least they could do is let me have my dream wedding in peace without her trying to compete with me. Joey called my relationship a sham and kicked me and my mom out of his house. Joey and Lana aren't talking to us. They uninvited us to their daughter's birthday party next weekend. I just want us all to live in peace with each other without any competitiveness or ill feelings. I will apologize if I'm wrong. Reddit, AITA?",AITA for asking my brother to move his wedding date farther away from mine?,YTA
10tnaq4,"My daughter (17F) has recently gotten her first boyfriend (18M). He is a very nice young man and I am very happy for her but she has been missing her curfew (12am) since they’ve been together. I understand that she wants to spend time with him but as she is still in high school and is not of legal age yet, she must abide by the rules of my household. Last saturday she came home at 2am without contacting me about where she was or letting me know she was going to come home late. I had to check her location to figure out she was at her boyfriend’s house. When she came home that night, I decided to let her chose what her punishment should be to ensure it doesn’t happen again (this has happened about 2-3 times before). She chose to do the dishes and be grounded for a week. Yesterday she asked me if she could go to her best friends birthday party, which is today, but I told her no because she is grounded for being late to curfew. Since yesterday she has cleaned the whole kitchen, cleaned my bathroom, given me a handwritten apology, made a whole powerpoint presentation on why I should let her go, and said she was willing to trade this one day for another week of being grounded and cleaning. She said she wants to go because it is her senior year and she may not have another chance to celebrate with her best friend like this again before they go to college. I told her no because this behavior with my daughter is repetitive and she needs to miss out on something in order to learn. AITA?",AITA for not allowing my daughter to go to her best friend’s birthday party?,YTA
10txpde,"My husband is only the most helpful with the kids when I’m upset or angry. I haven’t said anything in the past. But this time I said why are you only this helpful when I’m in a mood. He got angry and called me un greatful. I didn’t nag. all I said was the one sentence. Because it’s true he’s only this helpful, does something loving, does something that makes me happy after or during an argument.",AITA? Helpful husband only when…,NTA
10tox0t,"So here's the situation: I live with my roommate in a small apartment and we share a bathroom. A few months ago, I had a close call where I ran out of toilet paper at a really inconvenient time. So, I decided to always keep an extra roll in my bathroom just in case of an emergency. I made it clear to my roommate that this roll is off-limits and for emergencies only.Yesterday, my roommate came to me and asked to use the extra roll of toilet paper. I told him no and explained that it's there for emergencies only. But instead of understanding, he got mad and started calling me selfish and unreasonable.Now, let's be real here, it's just a roll of toilet paper. But I refuse to be caught off guard again. I don't want to run out in the middle of the night or on the weekend when stores are closed. So what if it's just one extra roll for emergencies? I think it's a reasonable request.My roommate, on the other hand, thinks I'm being ridiculous. He says that I can just go buy another roll if we run out and that I'm making a big deal out of nothing. But he just doesn't get it. It's not about the toilet paper, it's about the principle. I made it clear that the extra roll was off-limits, and he should respect that.I've tried to explain this to him, but he just won't listen. He's completely unwilling to understand where I'm coming from and he's being a real drama queen about the whole thing. Now, he's not speaking to me and it's just turned into this whole big drama over something really trivial and insignificant.So, am I the asshole here or is my roommate just being a entitled brat over something that shouldn't even be a problem? I feel like I'm in the right but everyone else is ganging up on me. I don't understand why this has become such a big deal and why my roommate can't just understand my perspective and respect my boundaries.",AITA for not letting my roommate use my extra roll of toilet paper?,YTA
10sk3qg,To begin with I love all three of my children.  I was shit father when they were young and I didn't really get much better as we aged.  I worked out of town and I never married any of their mothers.  I did always pay child support and tried my best to give them meaningful gifts and experiences when they were growing up.  I took them to the Calgary stampede.  I took them camping.  I took an interest in their extracurricular activities.  I went to their hockey and ringette games. I made sure I was at their high school graduations and I set aside money for university.  The one that didn't go got an apprenticeship in my trade and used the money to buy a welding rig.  I see him all the time.  We have beers and I will stop by his house to see my grandchildren.  His sisters are night and day.  I let them know if I'm in the city and then leave it up to them. My oldest occasionally agrees to meet up with me and then spends a couple of hours berating me and shitting on me. For a long time I put up with it.  Now I tend to pay the bill and.leave.The youngest will invite me to her home and I will have dinner with her family.  Recently my oldest found out from her brother that I had been in town for a few weeks and hadn't made an effort to see her.  I was stuck in town getting.medical shit done and I really didn't need her stressing me out.  Her mom knows about what is going on with me and also didn't tell her I was in town. My oldest is pissed because I saw ithe other two.   I just don't need to be yelled at for the same thing for two hours.,AITA for not making an effort to see all my kids.,YTA
10tyofy,"I (30F) have been with my boyfriend (27M) for 3 years, living together for 2. We don't have kids but have discussed marriage and starting a family together.BF's family lives across the country, we see them once a year. My family lives within about 30 mins from us, so I see them once every other week, at least once a month. My family gets together for everything -- holidays, birthdays, promotions, even if there's no reason other than just seeing each other.BF doesn't usually come. He'll say he's too tired or that he can't do anything during the week because of his work. (Both of us have WFH office jobs so it's nothing blue-collar, he means he's mentally exhausted.) If my family plans something for the weekend, he needs the full weekend to relax.I don't mind when he misses smaller events like dinners and birthdays, but it upsets me when he misses holidays. Since we've been together he hasn't gone to Thanksgiving or Christmas with my family, even though he doesn't have any other plans.He always tells me he just imagines the holidays with me, him, and our future children. But even married couples will see their families during the holidays?I never force him to go, but he says he always feels bad. As soon as I leave he'll change his mind, but he never goes the next time.My family thinks he's avoiding them. Nobody's been mean or anything close, but they'll comment on his absence and joke to me, like he's always so busy he never has time to say hi, or that I must've broken up and I'm keeping up the lie of having a boyfriend.Even if I tell them he's working or sick, they all seem to see right through it, like they know all of his excuses are just excuses.It's putting me in a shitty position. I don't want to make him come to my family events because he's a grown man and I'm not his mom.But when he doesn't come, I have to deal with everybody asking where he is, if he's coming later, if he's coming next time, etc, and when I get home I have to comfort HIM for feeling bad that he didn't go.He said he really does like my family, but sometimes he doesn't want to be social. I get it, I'm not a sociable person either, but missing everything, especially holidays, sends a message. I told him that eventually they're just going to stop inviting him and he got upset. But isn't that just a normal consequence? The same thing would happen if your friends kept inviting you out and you kept dodging them.When we visit his family I go to everything, like I basically force myself to be sociable even when I'm not feeling it. He told me this isn't the same because my family gets together TOO often, and since we rarely see his family we're cramming as much as possible.I feel like I can't win, like everything I propose sounds demanding or insensitive. I want to tell him that he should try to make it to the dinners and birthdays, but he HAS come to holidays. WIBTA if I tell him he has to compromise?",WIBTA if I put my foot down on my BF missing family events?,NTA
10tmcj1,"So backstory guys I (26f) decide to invite some of my friends from work to have dinner at my house. Me and my husband just recently bought a new house and we decided to put together a little housewarming party/dinner. I’ve known my co-workers for a pretty long time about 7 years so these aren’t strangers I’m inviting over. I invited a coworker let’s just call her Kathy (25f) over too. Kathy is a good friend of mine and up until now we really never had ANY issues so I was pretty taken back when she did this to me. Anyways in the middle of dinner, Kathy decides to bring up why I have a watering can in my bathroom. I thought it was weird that she would bring this up literally in the middle of dinner but I was just like oh well I’ll explain. So I’m muslin and most muslims have a watering can in the bathroom (those who don’t have a bidet) so we can pour water into it and watch our privates with it. I explained this to her and to be honest it was really awkward explaining this in front of like 10+ people (most of them were not Muslim so they aren’t familiar with the hygiene practices in our religion). Anyways I kid you not this woman has the caucasity to say “That’s a bit unhygienic considering that you cooked us dinner tonight” then continued to laugh. First of all we have soap in the bathroom and I’m very big on hygiene so best believe I wash my hand thoroughly every time I use the bathroom.  So I proceeded to tell her she can respectfully leave if she thinks I cooked dinner without my washing my hands. Anyways she got offended and decided to leave which I think is crazy because if anyone should be offended I believe it’s me. The rest of the dinner was very awkward. So I’m back at work next week and I’m really contemplating on ending our friendship. However some of my work friends think I should apologize and I went too far and embarrassed her.  AITA? TLDR: Invited my coworkers over for dinner and one of them made a comment insulting my hygiene practice/religion and I told her to leave.",AITA for telling my friend to leave my house in the middle of dinner?,NTA
10tllux,"Long story short, i recently quit my job as a line cook. Over the past 4 months, i had a few interviews at other places and they’d go really well but then they’d ask when I’d be able to start and I’d tell them I’d have to give my current job a two week’s notice. They’d said “oooh, okay” and then I’d never hear from them. My job as a line cook didn’t pay well at ALL and they weren’t properly spreading out tips among the staff, they played favorites. The back of house would always be short staffed; there was only 4 of us total working the back of house. It was chaos everyday for shit money. So, i recently applied somewhere else and didn’t mention that I had a job and the interview went great and they wanted me to start basically immediately so I accepted. I’d be getting double what I make now. This resulted in me not being able to give my current job a proper two weeks notice but I offered to pick up shifts here and there on my days off at my new job. I was keeping my manger updated on my new schedule and when I’d be able to come in but he said “Okay, i think I’m covered for now” then the next day he said “Can you come in tonight or tomorrow?” I told him I can potentially come in tomorrow (today) but I’d have to confirm and get back to him in a few hours. He said okay. So then I texted him and said that “yes i can come in tomorrow” he replied “Actually we’re good tomorrow thanks”. Then he texted me this morning and said “Actually if you wanted to come in for a bit that would be cool!”Like, i was really willing to come in to help them today but he keeps changing his mind and now I don’t want to go in. AITA if I decline? He keeps changing his mind.",AITA if I don’t pick up a shift at my old job?,NTA
10tx6iz,"AITA. Let's start with a year ago when I was hired for a job. They wanted me. I had the experience and I accepted the job. I began training and a month in I was told what I was hired for has fallen through and I won't be doing it, but they had another position for me. Like I said, they wanted me. I expressed my hesitation, about the position, but ultimately accepted it. I needed a job and I needed healthcare. It was fine in the beginning but over the last 4 months I get demands from my boss that are near impossible tasks to complete. We simply don't have the amount of staff needed, the money to complete the projects, nor the computer power to do it. I have talked to my boss about these issues and have brought up the problems. The answers I get make me feel that I'm being set up to fail. My boss is frustrated with me because I cannot complete these tasks. I have put a ton of effort into trying to make these projects work, but also have other tasks that I need to complete, that I can complete. So, I've just given up on trying to get the impossible tasks done. AITA for questioning and pushing back on my boss about these and just simply giving up on them. I've started putting my efforts into the things I can do, and have started looking for other job options. Of course I want to help improve and do what I can for the company I work for, but there is nothing I can do when the resources I need aren't being provided to me, and I'm not getting any help or support from my superior. I'm frustrated and feel stuck.",AITA for not doing a job that my boss insists needs done,NTA
10tzuus," I(14M) like to think that I value privacy. I've always kept to myself when it comes to virtually everything, from my hobbies to what I think of myself. Occasionally I try to socialise with my classmates, and it usually works, so I'm not exactly popular or unpopular.Recently, my mother(40F) has been opening my door when I'm doing work, gaming, lying in bed, etc. I think of this as very intrusive, and it creeps me out. Recently, I've tried to confront her about it, and oh boy did she explode. She told me that I was being ungrateful and that I didn't understand her troubles as a parent or know what I was even talking about. My mother is always very loving, so I was bewildered when I was met with such a furious response. I don't want to escalate this conflict any further unless necessary but I think that she is in the wrong for constantly invading my privacy. Am I being needy or is she being too overprotective of me? Whenever I think about what I've done, I always doubt myself on whether I fit how she describes me. I know her intentions are good but I just can't put up with this doubt anymore. Am I the asshole for speaking up?",AITA for confronting my mother about consistently opening my room door without permission?,NTA
10t75c0,"Hi I’m 32F and a single mom to two kids, 8F and 7M. I left my husband March of last year and stayed in our 3 bedroom/2 bath home out of desperation/fear of not getting approved for other housing even though it was not easy for me financially. I’ve been surviving and able to pay our $2300 rent but slowly slipping into more debt. Our lease is up end of April and I have made the decision to leave the house and downsize to an apartment to save money and take the physical load of caring for a house off of my plate. My 25F sister lives with me and has been paying $425 in rent since March of 2021. She moved in with us when I was still with my ex husband and he financially supported our family. When I decided to leave my husband, I didn’t raise her rent. She makes around $16.50/hr working full time hours. She has minimal bills (car payment, phone, car insurance) and to be frank, has the financially maturity of a 16-18y/o. She doesn’t help me with house chores even after asking her several times over the years, maybe she does the dishes like once a month. Anyway, our new place is a 2 bedroom 2 bath apartment with an oversized garage. I chose this place because it is still zoned for my kids school and it’s important to me to keep them within our community. Rent is $1979. The plan is for me to share a room with my kids and for her to have the other room. The more I think about this, the more I feel weird about the fact that my 25y/o single sister is going to be getting 1/2 my apartment and paying 21% of the rent. I had the idea to increase her rent to $660 which is 33% of the rent. But my friends and family still don’t think that’s enough. I’m not asking her to live with me, and she’s made it clear she won’t share a room with either of my kids, which I understand honestly. They aren’t her kids. I know she won’t/can’t live on her own. I don’t want to make her broke, but I don’t feel this is fair either. AITA for raising the rent to $660 or am I enabling her to stay mentally 18 for the rest of her life? Or am I being reasonable?ETA she has her own room here at this house and primary use of the guest bathroom. She only shares when we have guests here, myself and my kids don’t use it.",AITA for raising my 25y/o sisters rent?,NTA
10tq69f,"Sorry for the typos english isn't my first langage... I, 23F, live with two of my siblings (F25&M23, my brother is irrelevant to the story though). For the back story, 2months ago was my sister birthday. Since we don't live in our birth country, my brother and I as well as all our cousins who live in the same city as us decided to throw her a surprise birthday. We all came together to buy a cake, a present as well as all the others cost for the party. Everything went well that day and since we prepared lot of food there were ton of leftovers. Matter of fact, since there were other desserts as well barely anyone touched the birthday cake aside for my sister and some of the kids. We bought a huge one, I mean REALLY huge (we were 15adults and 5kids so we just decided to go all out with it), and since it was my sister's cake we obviously went home with the barely touched huge birthday cake. The next day, since I didn't have any slice of that cake I asked my sister if I could have a slice, she said yes and I cut one. I then went back to her to show her the slice. She was visibly uncomfortable with my slice so I handed her the knife I used to cut it and she left me with a tiny little cube. I was mad because the cake was huge and my original slice wasn't that big to begin with but, I respected her choice since, again, it was her birthday cake. I ate the slice she gave me and never asked again. I believe I saw the box in the trash some days later and as she ended up eating it completly alone. Now back to today's problem. I quit my part-time job last week to focus on my master's thesis and got my last salary yesterday. Today, I decided to go shopping a little and came accross a small bakery. When I saw the cakes I decided to buy a small one to treat myself and got home. We all share the same fridge so I just put it in there after eating some. Well, I assume all of you know what happened next... My sister came home, saw my cake and asked if she could have some. I said no because I wanted to eat it alone and she litterally exploded. Starting calling me selfish for buying things like that for myself only when we're 3 in the house. I told her that she herself ate her bd cake alone so I don't see why I need to share my cake with anyone and she ended up calling her mother who then called our father who called me to ask to share my cake and I still said no... Rn i'm in my room with the cake and i'm contemplating just eating it whole in one go because I know she'll try something if I let it in the fridge... Aita ?",AITA for not sharing?,NTA
10ua017,"I (15F) have a friend (15F) in school, let’s call her Nat. We’ve known each other for about 4 years now, and even though it’s been a while, I wouldn’t call us necessarily close. Last week, during break time in school, she and a bunch of my classmates were gathered around my desk (I was eating), talking about random things. After some time, the conversation began to turn into the kind that to me, is unacceptable. Context: Another classmate (14F), had a relationship with a boy from another school, and had sent certain pictures to him, that he leaked to his friends. By certain pictures, I mean explicit ones. She had told me about this when she got to know, and trusted me to keep it a secret (which I did). I, as well as my friend Nat have experienced body image issues and have been made fun of because of it.They started gossiping about this situation, and when I heard I immediately told them that it wasn’t any of our business, and that we should just move on. My friend Nat didn’t try and stop them, but instead egged them on by saying that the classmate whose pictures were leaked, was flat and shouldn’t have sent those pictures knowing this. I was appalled and left the classroom, and she followed me asking what was wrong (I was clearly angry). I asked her if she really thought it was right to not only gossip about such personal things, but also make fun of the person involved. She said it wasn’t a big deal, and that by sending pictures that person was accepting the consequences. I told her that until she thought about what she did and why I reacted the way I did, and apologised to the person involved, I wouldn’t talk to her. Keep in mind I also explained that it is my principle to not talk about such things and make fun of people about their bodies or anything, and that if she didn’t want to apologise, she didn’t have to, I just wouldn’t talk to her— out of my own personal moral.After this some of her friends started telling me I was an asshole for choosing not to talk to her until she did something about it, because again (like she had said) it wasn’t any of their business, and the person involved should have known these things would happen. I just told them that she probably knows she made a mistake, and at this point in time all she needs is support (talking about the person involved) that people (her literal classmates), aren’t giving her. I also added that I only told Nat what I felt, if she didn’t want to do anything about it, she didn’t have to. The only reason I feel like I might be an asshole is because even if we aren’t close, Nat and I have been friends for a couple of years, in my head I feel guilty for turning on her.Edit: Person involved has talked to a school counsellor and they are taking action.",AITA for not wanting to talk to my friend because of someone else’s problem?,NTA
10sguco,"My son is 12 and we are very close. We always spend one day a month together.The day is always the same. We wake up slightly later than usual, have a pancake breakfast, hang out at the rink for a couple hours, head to the arcade to try the claw machines, then eat dinner at this Indian restaurant before heading home and watching a movie with dessert.It’s important to us and we always do everything I mentioned. We’ve been doing it since he was 5. I always let him and my boyfriend know the date a week prior. On the morning of the day, my boyfriend decided to clean the kitchen and threw out the pancake mix. He then forgot to fill up the gas in my car so we had to go the gas station but it took forever because of traffic. Then when we finally got to the rink, he called me about 20 times to ask where something is or to discuss something about his daughter. We had to leave quickly so that the restaurant wouldn’t close so we skipped the arcade. When we were half way through eating my boyfriend called and said that he hurt himself. We packed up the food and rushed home only to find out that he hit his ankle against something but was ok otherwise. He then refused to let us watch the movie because he was watching something and he started eating the food we brought. My son called him a dick before stomping up to his room. I was just in shock. My boyfriend’s NEVER done this before and I really could not tell if he was being oblivious or if he was doing this on purpose. Boyfriend was all like “You just gonna let that slide?”I rolled my eyes at him before saying ”enjoy the food” I then went to our room. He followed after me asking me wtf my problem is. I told him that he knows how important this day is and he got pissed and was like “is that what this is about? I’m important too you know!“ I kind of snapped and told him that he isn’t as important as my son and that he ruined our day by acting like a little child. He went quiet, said that I’m being a bitch then left. He won’t answer any of my calls but texted my son saying that he expects an apology. It’s 5am and I haven’t been able to sleep. AITA here? Please be honest. I need to know if I was really being a bitch and if I overreacted or something.Edit: We’re in our 30s but he’s a couple years older, his daughter is 20 and has her own mom. We’ve been together for 4 years and we go on date nights every two or so weeks but I don’t have “boyfriend only” days like I do with my son. Also don’t worry, my son will not be apologizing and I’ve reassured him that he has nothing to be sorry for.",AITA for being a bitch towards my bf after he ruined my day?,NTA
10sthgk,"I was at the playground with my son and his friend when I heard someone say ""penis"" very softly. A second later I heard it again, slightly louder, and recognized my son's voice. I glanced at the boys while pretending to be on my phone, and they were standing by the monkey bars, looking around. My son's friend then said it again at a normal volume.My son then looked over at me and I made direct eye contact with him. He looked from me to his friend, weighing his options. I gave him the ""ball is in your court"" look. He said ""penis,"" and then his friend looked at me and said ""nope."" Then my son declared himself the winner of their deeply stupid game and they ran to the swings.One of the other moms asked of they were my sons. I said one was, and she asked why I didn't chastise them for their language. I said I didn't want to give them the satisfaction of reacting to their dumb game. If I told them off, they would just want to do it more. She said they were disturbing the other parents and kids, and was being a shit mom by allowing it.I said penis isn't a curse word, so how disturbed could they really be? She then called me trashy and walked away. So am I a trashy asshole?",AITA for not giving them the satisfaction?,NTA
10twp1n,"My (F20) best friend (M20, let's call him Josh) and I have been having some trouble lately, after he hanged out with a friend that I introduced him and didn't invite me. This hurt me a lot because I always do my best to include everyone in everything and he has become part of my friend group because of this, a couple of weeks ago I introduced another friend of mine to the others and last week that friend and Josh made a plan without me. It really sucked that they didn't even consider to invite me and I felt really left out. It is also important to explain that almost ever since I've known Josh I've suggested that he went to therapy for a number of reasons. I go to therapy myself (both psychologist and psyquiatrist) because I have bpd and anxiety, but he's always said that he didn't think he had anything serious like I do and didn't want to go. At one point, a long time ago, due to his inability to set boundaries with me, I said that I wouldn't feel comfortable being his friend if he didn't get professional help. He agreed to do it, but only ended up going to 3 free counseling sessions that his University offered. I let it go, because it seemed like he was better. This has been an ongoing debate between us, but I understand that I cannot control what he does and so I tried to not bring it up as much. These past few weeks, however, because of the issue I explained at the beginning, have been quite tense. The worst thing is that whenever I get upset with Josh, it ends up feeling like he is the most hurt by the situation and I end up feeling guilty (this has to do also with my bpd, because in other occasions I have gotten upset without reason and sometimes it's hard to manage my feelings).Tonight he was feeling very very bad about the whole thing and asked me to call him, so I did. This caused me to feel very divided, because I had to push away my feelings about how he had behaved and try to console him and worry about him. I decided it wasn't fair and told him to please seek professional help, again, he refused because ""it wasn't such a big deal and it would go away on it's own"". I told him that if that was true he didn't need me, so we hang up. After a few minutes he texted me saying he wasn't feeling good, so I responded by texting him the number of the clinic I go to and saying that if he wanted to call me again he had to promise to call on Monday and make an appointment. He got mad at me and said it wasn't fair. I think I did the right thing, but I'm still worried about him and feel very guilty, so am I the asshole?",AITA for leaving my best friend alone in the midst of a breakdown?,YTA
10txta5,"So I (22, F)am currently trying to stop weed, and getting a healthier lifestyle. I am on my 5th day on CBD, and with the stress and everything I decided I would take a pill to sleep better, but the problem is I could'nt get out of bed this morning (11:20 am on a sunday). I heard my mother in the kitchen telling her boyfriend how disappointed she was about me not being abble to get up at 10-10:30 am on the morning like I did last week. She said exactly ""So the 10-10:30 am wake up didn't last so long. How disappointing."" So I woke up furiously, opened my door I yelled ""I am awake since 30 minutes, are you happy now ?"" And then just proceed to explain to her, still yelling, how difficult it was for me to fell asleep because of stress and how I had to take a pill to sleep, etc...Later she would come to my room, ask me if I was calmed and if we could have a talk, which I answered I was not, and that we couldn't talkMy problem is that, I don't feel supported by her at all and I feel like I can't trust her anymore if she's speaking such harsh things on my back, however I am doing all this efforts to please her, she'll never be happy enough and proud of me. I am not even proud of myself anymore even for getting rid of weed, using cbd, and getting from 10 to 3 a day. I feel like a failure. Is that normal ? How can I be the most intelligent in this situation ? Am I wrong, or is there a way to make her feel or understand how much of a trust issue there is going to be between us after this? Gotta say I am a very VERY sensitive person, and I tried for years to please her and be kind, and shut my mouth even when she says bad things on me, but today I just can't anymore, I am very hurted and don't want to make any efforts anymore for her. Help me please.Please excuse my bad english for I am french. Thank you very much for you attention.",AITA for being extremely angry about my mom on this situation,NTA
10txt85,"I've recently started going out to parties with classmates and friends. I've been going out more frequently to parties with one friend who I met a couple years ago. She's not my closest friend but we've worked together on a couple projects and I trust her dearly. She knows quite a bit about me, some stuff that's very private and I've never told anybody else. She's on the smaller side and probably one of the sweetest, most personable people you'll ever meet. If I'm being honest, I do have some feelings for her.Anyhow, every party I've ever gone to with her she's gotten shitfaced at. Every time she's promised us (her best friends and I) that she'll take it easy and be responsible; every time she's broken that promise. The last party I went to with her was in the same week as another one (think one on Monday and another on Friday) and I was responsible for driving her. I asked her, hell, I practically begged her to take it easy. She promised that she wouldn't drink. Not even a half hour after we got there she was drunk. I took her to a quiet area and tried to get her to sober up, nope, she managed to get more. Then, when she realized she had broken her promise, she asked me to lie to her best friend and to keep the fact that she was drunk a secret. This cycle continued for 3 hours.I drove her and some friends home at around 1 in the morning. When it was only her and her best friend in the car, I stopped and I flipped at her. Yelling. I yelled at her for a good couple minutes. She cried. She didn't even try to defend herself and neither did her best friend. She didn't make a sound. She looked like a frightened child.I was pissed for a few reasons:1) This was the third time she had promised not only me, but her closest friends that she'd be responsible. This was the third time she had broken her word. Once is a mistake, twice is suspect, thrice is a lie.2) Every time that she has gotten drunk, she became a burden to everybody that loves her. Her closest friends have gotten in trouble for being home late because they were taking care of her. 3) When she realized she was drunk and had broken her word, her first reaction wasn't to apologize and come clean, her first reaction was to ask me to lie to our friends to hide it. She also asked me help her hide it from her family.I outlined these three points when I was yelling at her. I believe that she needs to know. I've tried to tell her a million times but obviously she wasn't listening. I couldn't think of anything else to try. I feel like shit cause she was powerless when I was yelling at her. I was supposed to take care of her but I ended up being the one making her cry. AITA for doing that? How could I have handled it any better?TL:DR: My friend lied to me and her friends to get wasted, I yelled at her for it.",AITA for making my drunk friend cry?,NTA
10sftbg,"so I (21) have blue hair and I was told by a hairdresser that the color sticks better if you put a little bit of hair dye in your shampoo. this was all good until my 12-year-old sister decided to swipe and use my shampoo. she is blonde and the result isn't pretty. my mum is mad at me for putting dye in my shampoo and not telling anyone, this is my shampoo that i bought and i had placed it in the shower that only i use and my sister took it and used it in another shower. she has done this before with other items and my mum also thinks i did this as a way to teach her not to steal my stuff (i didnt). so yeah the whole family is mad, should i have told them about me putting hair dye into my shampoo?Edit: I'm not a victim of theft and I'm well aware of that lol",AITA for putting blue hair dye in my shampoo without letting my family know?,NTA
10tr5aq,"First of all, for context, this was last semester and I'm a high school student. We had an english project. There were meant to be 5 people in each group, the group chooses which members are which and then they do their work (for example, all member 1s do the same work in every group, so do member 2s and so on, this was the teacher's idea). I was member 5 and one girl from another group who was also member 5 reached out to me and asked me for help about something, and then another member 5 also reached out. I helped them both, I even did their work for them and explained it to them how I did it. One of them was grateful, but the other one started questioning me and accusing me of doing it wrong on purpose because her group didn't do it like that (it worked in a way that the work that member 1 does is needed for member 2, and what member 2 does is needed for member 3 and so on) and she asked me to explain it to her again, after I already did multiple times. I explained it to her one more time, but she still didn't believe me. I went ballistic. I did my work again, and their work again, I asked my parents for help, I emailed my teacher, but in the end, it turned out I was right all along. So, the other day in school when she asked me something about it, I told her it isn't my problem and that she should do what she thinks is right. She ended up going with the way she thought was right (but of course it was wrong) and got a bad grade. AITA?",AITA for refusing to help my classmate after I've already helped her?,NTA
10tr2vp,"For context I am 22(M) have a big family, three older siblings 30(F), and 28(M) 27(M), with three younger sisters, 21(F), 13(F), and 9(F). My parents are in there mid 50’s and have had a tradition since I can remember. On someone’s birthday they pick what we eat for dinner.It was my sisters 21 birthday and she had been out shopping all day with me and my family. My older sister and brothers weren’t there so it was me and my younger sisters along with my parents. The whole time my sister would point at me in stores that her friends were at and call me slurs due to the fact I am a trans man. “Thank god she’s straight, well a lesbian if she likes girls” She has never accepted me as a male when everyone else has. My youngest sister would respect me and refer to me as brother but my sister just wouldn’t get it. So once it was time for us to eat I asked if i could bring a friend. My parents agreed and I brought my boyfriend, I had wanted to come out as gay to my family for a while but felt they needed a break after me coming out as trans. During dinner my sister and her boyfriend kept drinking and drinking. They got so wasted that they would both call me slurs, including commenting on my skin, telling me to go back to my country. I got so pissed off when she had started calling me a lesbian again I wasn’t thinking and kissed my boyfriend. “I’m gay okay? So stop it with the lesbian jokes and stop calling me a girl”My parents started yelling at me and my sister started crying. She wouldn’t stop talking about how I ruined her 21st birthday but honestly I don’t care.It’s been 2 days now and nobody will stop texting me about how I fucked up. My younger sisters (9&13) texted and called me talking about how they wanted to meet him and were glad for me. I drove over to their house today and picked them up. My parents said if they came with me they’d kick them out. I didn’t force them to follow me out but they came anyways. Now I have to take care of my Testosterone, and other trans needs as well as my sisters. I do not regret anything I did but I still feel like the asshole. It could’ve been avoided if I didn’t go to my sisters birthday but she deserved it. Am I the asshole?",AITA for coming out on my sisters birthday?,NTA
10tm7g2,"My boyfriend “Ryan” and I (24M/22F) live with our friend “John” (25M). John has the upstairs floor which is just his room and bathroom and Ryan and I have the ground floor bedroom/bathroom. The common areas - living room, kitchen - are on the ground floor.Ryan was at work last night, I was hanging out reading in the living room and John was doing his own thing upstairs. There was an incident on my street which resulted in the police being there and shelter in place orders being issued for the neighborhood. We were instructed to stay away from the windows. I felt I had reason to feel unsafe on the ground floor. I went upstairs to ask John if I could hang out with him until things calmed downs. He said sure, he was just watching a movie and I was welcome to join him. So I sat on the opposite corner of the bed (it’s a huge bed) and watched a movie with him.At some point, I fell asleep (I think we both did) and woke up 3 hours later to Ryan shouting at both of us. I don’t feel we did anything wrong, we weren’t cuddling or naked or even very close to each other. And I had sent Ryan multiple texts/videos showing him what was going on the night before so I felt it was clear that I felt unsafe being on the first floor. Ryan insists that it was inappropriate to be in johns room and especially sitting on his bed for any reason at all. I could’ve sat in our bathroom which doesn’t have any windows. He’s not talking to me today and now I feel that maybe I did something wrong",AITA for falling asleep in another man’s bed?,NTA
10u935t,"We're 33/F and 35/F. I'm 35/F.Me and my friend Katya (fake name for privacy) are creating a new website centered on food, it's more opinions and how-tos and isn't intended on competing with professional websites; it's lighter and softer in tone and aimed at a mix of Gen Z and Millennials.But we also cover issues facing the food service/restaurant industry post-COVID pandemic which, outside of things like CNN/CNBC/CTV, social media probably won't cover this on an in-depth yet easy-to-understand style (y'know, like the For Dummies or Complete Idiot's Guide).It's certainly not like Paris Hilton's Netflix show where the main draw is the celeb, as the main draw is the food and the content, it's not about vlogging for endorsement deals, but genuine passion for the food.For both of us, cookery has been a passion since we were 14. I'm Indian-American (no, not a Native American, I'm half-Punjabi, half-Gujarati) from California and my friend's an Italian-American from NYC who moved here for a job 10 years ago.I work as a freelancer, she's currently working for a mom-and-pop fashion store which sells imported women's swimwear.My friend is a very close friend, known her 10 years.In my day job, social media is part and parcel of it anyway; I ghostwrite 3 Twitter accounts and 1 Instagram, in addition to doing some sudo'ing and SSH'ing for an up-and-coming influencer (all those Mac commands are useful!)We haven't even got any material up yet, as we're planning things.My friend (and co-founder) suggested we put some short videos up on TikTok, but I said to her that TikTok isn't great for data protection. She seemed to think that because people like the Kardashians used TikTok it was fine for ordinary people to do so.As it is, she was surprised, but said we needed to use TikTok ""to keep ahead of the pack"".In order to resolve this conflict, I said we needed to do a much more thorough analysis of how to keep privacy safe.I suggested we use wordpress.com and host some of our downloadable content via GitHub and AppKed so there's a mirror of our content for offline usage.GitHub and AppKed seem to be better at privacy than Google, and Google is the lesser of two evils over TikTok, ain't it?I said to him I'd talk to my friend whose wedding we've both been invited to in 6 weeks' time and he agreed with me about being wary about TikTok and said he'd be happy to discuss it with us and give advice, pro bono (normally he charges a large fee for drafting privacy policies; like me, he's a freelancer with his own business). I've known him for 15 years.Anyway, our new venture's in the planning stages, it's not a startup, as it's not about making profit, but it's a good little side venture for me since I've never actually had social media under my own name (even this Reddit account is a throwaway with info changed for privacy).My question is, AITA here for suggesting we don't use TikTok and instead focus on services that provide good privacy for us and customers?","AITA for suggesting to my friend we don't use TikTok in our new venture's social media, instead sticking to a YouTube, WordPress, GitHub and AppKed?",NAH
10tqfpx,"My (25f) boyfriend (26m) and I have been together for 5 years, he is paralyzed and I am his caregiver. He's adamantly independent about stuff he shouldn't be (for safety which is why I say that) and extremely dependent about stuff that I don't always think he should be. So I get frustrated with him so being messy. He has full use of his arms, VERY minimal upper abs usage. There's always food and crumbs on his chest, belly, in his beard, rolling under him. He doesn't like garbage in his limited space (and wont keep a small bucket or bag near him) so if im not there to immediately grab it from him, he tosses it to the ground or puts it on my bed for me to throw out when I come back, otherwise it sits there on his bed with him, leaks or gets under him. His hands and nails are black all the time because he decides to clean his 🌱bowl with his hands -_- his phone always has food on it. I get frustrated with him or he will with me for the same reason: he's a mess. He used to be very clean and tidy, fresh out of the military before his accident. So we will both get angry at each other for the state of him sometimes. I get angry like ""why cant you keep wipes near you and USE them? How are there crumbs on you, you know how to eat. Please be mindful."" And for him he says things like ""i cant move fully, im in bed all day every day of course im going to be more messy than you. So and so is out of my reach. You need to be on top of bathing me and crumbs and grime wouldnt be a problem."" I AM the asshole for still not being very consistent with cleanings. I bed bathe him at least twice a week and we have improper equipment(dont even get me started) for comfortable showers so those are about once a month. I think he could get a bed bath every day, but I am not good at juggling my own care, his care, our 9 animals care, and all the constant paperwork and upkeep of trying to establish a solid adult life and keep up with disability life. I'm not killing him, he gets compliments from doctors on the quality of skin and ""great care at home"" that I feel bad about because I do think my care can and should be better, however im considering switching the responsibilities to a third party since I lack the responsibility and it causes strain LIKE THESE in our relationship 😅 So I'm wondering if im the asshole for being mad at him that he's messy because I should be keeping him clean anyway.",AITA for getting frustrated with boyfriend for being messy,NTA
10tjgct,"Hi,Thank you for reading this in advance. Earlier last year I (24M) bought a 2 bed flat in London, one of my friends moved in with me and rented the other room. My flatmate told me he was going to move in with his gf. I have been looking for the past month (advertising online etc.) to try and find someone, but I haven't got anywhere. His rent is up on the 8th Feb.I have a large mortgage on the flat so a roommate is needed. If I were to try and cover the cost of the flat with just my income I would just be able to scrape by but it would be difficult. My mum signed the mortgage with me, she is effectively a guarantor for this mortgage, but there is no intention for her to pay any money towards this long term. In a few years I should be able to fully afford the flat by myself, and in the meantime I will rent the room to make up the difference. She will cover the cost of the other room between flatmates, but I will have to pay this money back to her when I sell the flat. Currently around 65% of my monthly mortgage payments pay off the interest, this is the effective rate of interest on the money my mum loans to me which is very high! I am therefore very keen to avoid this possibility.I initially wasn't bothered about the gender of any potential flatmate. I grew up with 3 sisters so I am very used to living with women, at uni I lived with a mix as well so I didn't think much of the gender. Around a week ago my gf mentioned to me that she might find it uncomfortable if I had a girl move in with me (gf does not live in the flat, we have been dating a year), she said especially because it would just be the 2 of us it would make her uncomfortable as it would mean I was talking to a woman about issues at work, issues with friends, issues in our relationship maybe. If you get on with your flatmate I can understand why that would be a close relationship.At the time I said I understand her feelings, and I will do my best to find a guy because I want to make her comfortable. But I also pointed out that as of Feb 8th I don't have anyone to pay my rent, bills etc. She said she understood and that she realises that this isn't her decision, but she wanted to say her bit.Reddit WIBTA if a girl moved in with me? I have a girl coming to look at the flat tomorrow, and when I mentioned this to my gf she went quiet. She said she understood that ""I've got to do what I've got to do"", but she is uncomfortable with the situation. I don't want to upset her but at the same time if I have to keep on waiting to find someone to fill this room it's costing me money every day its empty. I've actively tried to get guys in, I almost had a guy earlier this week but he wanted somewhere with better transport connections so at the last minute pulled out. If I can I would like to have a guy in here to make this easier for her but I don't think I can really be picky anymore?Thanks in advance and happy weekend!",WIBTA for letting a girl move in with me?,NTA
10t1ufw,"In early December my parents were asking me what I wanted for Christmas. I didn't really have anything I wanted, but my mom always complains about how crappy my favorite pair of boots looks (they're a pair of Docs I bought secondhand over a decade ago, they're pretty torn up) so I figured I'd ask for a new pair of nice boots. I sat down with my mom and we looked at boots on their site and found a pair we both liked. Christmas comes around and my parents admit that they haven't gotten them yet because they wanted to pick them up from the store instead of paying for shipping which I was fine with, and they both said they would get them for me soon.My parents and I talked on the phone multiple times over the next month, and every time we would talk they would mention the boots, and say they were going to get them soon. Two weeks ago (Jan 18th) my girlfriend tells me that her best friend's boyfriend is going to propose to her, and my girlfriend wants to have a party at her apartment where it will happen. Her best friend's birthday is Feb 7th, so the party is going to be the weekend before. She wants it to be absolutely perfect, and so we started planning, including outfits. My outfit included the boots that my parents said they were going to get.That Sunday night (22nd) I sent my parents a text letting them know that I need the boots by the first weekend of Feb. I had phone calls with each of them last week where they both confirmed getting the text, confirm understanding the time limit, and they both say that they were getting the boots that week. I visit them Sunday and they haven't gotten the boots. I tell them I would prefer that they get them early in the week as I'm going to be running errands to help my girlfriend prep for the party as the weekend approaches.I text my parents Mon m to remind them. They say that they forgot but promise they'll get them Tues so I can come pick them up on time. Same thing Tues. I remind them Wed morning, and ask my dad about them when he calls me about something else and he yells at me because I only wanted to talk about the boots.Thursday I buy the boots myself. I pick them up on the way home from work, and text my parents afterwards telling them they don't need to get me the boots because I got them myself.My dad calls me an hour later yelling about how they said they were going to get the boots and I went out and got them instead and how I had made my mom cry by buying them myself. My mom never responded to the message I sent her after that call. This morning my sisters both text me saying that I had made mom cry the night before, and my aunt called me in the early afternoon asking what I had done to make my mom cry. Potentially unrelated but I was planning on going to a show with my cousin and she hasn't been responding to my messages today (she's 20 and in college so I understand a lack of responses on a normal Friday).",AITA for buying some boots my parents said they would get me for Christmas?,NTA
10u01k1,"I (17f) my dad (m) in his late 40s. Recently it’s been in the Lower 40’s. We live in the south where it’s typically warmer. My father would tell stories of when he lived in the north as a young kid walking in the snow to school every time I complain about the cold. Recently I come home to the worlds hottest house, times where the thermostat would be set to 85 degrees! I find this very hypocritical, and sometimes it’s even hotter. I understand it’s colder outside recently however I don’t think it’s normal to sweat after coming inside from 40 degree weather. Just recently I woke up to the house once again at 85 at one in the morning. I go to change the thermostat and instead meet face to face with my father, not exactly face to face more like I encountered him on the computer going to change the thermostat. He then yelled at me telling me that if I was hot I should just turn the vent to my room off. I’ve spoken to my friends and found out it’s not normal to have the temperature over 80 but because he’s older and it’s his house I should just leave him be. I was also told by my relatives that I don’t pay bills or have a job so I should just wear comfortable clothes. So could I be the a-hole?Edit: I forgot to mention my window is broken and has no screen. A screen is kinda important to keep critters and mosquitoes out. I live in a run down apartment and only live with my dad",AITAH for turning down the thermostat?,NTA
10th0g6,"Brother had his first child 2 weeks ago. He is currently not working and he has about $70k in shares but didn’t want to sell any right now because “it’s not the right market to sell” so him and his partner moved in with my parents about a month before the baby came. They stayed with her mother for the first week but have been back in the parents house for a week now. So far they haven’t let my parents even touch the baby let alone hold it. Tomorrow they (my parents) are going overseas for 8 weeks. My dad was diagnosed with cancer a few weeks ago and wants to see his siblings overseas before he starts treatment as he hasn’t seen any of them since before the pandemic. I suggested it would be nice if they could hold the baby for a few minutes before they go overseas, especially as today is my dads birthday. Brother ripped into me for butting in, telling him how to raise his child, treating the baby like a toy for people to play with, being insensitive to what it’s like for him and his partner as new parents etc etc. He then claimed that the only reason they hadn’t let them hold the baby was because they hadn’t asked to and he didn’t know if they wanted to or not, which is total BS in my opinion because a) what grandparent wouldn’t want to and b) they stay in their separate lounge room almost all the time the baby is awake with the door shut which is a pretty obvious signal that they don’t want my parents involved in any way apart from living in their house rent free, eating their groceries, and letting my parents do all their laundry. They’ve taken over most of the house as well. My brothers old bedroom got turned into their personal lounge room, the rumpus room/parents office got turned into their bedroom, my sisters old bedroom is now a clothes drying room/my brothers office and my old bedroom is a junk room. Am I the asshole for thinking that given how much my parents have done for them, it’s really bullshit the way my brother reacted to my suggestion?ETA for further info1. baby healthy born full term, no health problems, we are in summer so not cold & flu season here, all family members had all vaccinations that they requested we have2. I asked parents how things were going and dad said he felt like “a fifth wheel on a cart” (English not his first language) and that he felt like he didn’t belong in the house any more.3. About 2 months prior to the birth they hadn’t done any baby preparation at all as they had been travelling around the state to attend opera concerts every weekend so my parents bought a few baby supplies for them and my brother told them that they were “taking over” and that his partner didn’t want to move in to the house even though they couldn’t afford anything else without selling some of his shares because she was afraid that they would take over raising the baby, hence why they haven’t asked to hold the child themselves.4. Brother and partner are mid 30s, parents are late 70s.",AITA for suggesting that it would be nice if my sibling let our parents (baby’s grandparents) hold his baby for a few minutes,NTA
10tzwpx,"I (16f) am in an advanced theatre class. The teacher does not particularly like me but she isn’t outwardly rude to me. We recently had an assignment where we were given a stock photo and had to make a monologue out of it. I got mine and I envisioned an abusive religious fanatic mother punishing her daughter, similar to my bio mother. I got it approved BY MY TEACHER. It was a very dramatic monologue but that was the assignment. My adoptive mom said it was possibly a bit too intense but overall she thought it was good. My sister was a bit upset by it and said it was a bit sadistic and twisted. So I ran it by my teacher again she was like “Yea whatever it’s fine” and I picked up that she didn’t really read it, but whatever.It’s time to preform and I’m really feeling my character acting it out and halfway through she very rudely interrupts it by yelling “What the hell Joslyn??!!!” I am very surprised and I ask her what’s wrong and she tells me that playing an abusive religious fanatic is EXTREMELY inappropriate and offensive towards Christians. I ask her to elaborate and she tells me that I should have ran it through not just her, but my counselor. I told her that she should have actually read it. She then tells me that I can make it up but the highest score I can get is a 75. I refuse and tell her she should’ve actually done her job and it’s not my fault she should have actually read it. she then gave me a referral. I just walked out of her classroom and called her a B word I didn’t really care at that point now my teacher is being very rude to me and my classmates are starting to act weird around me so I have to know, Am I The Asshole?",AITA for not making sure my teacher approved my project?,NTA
10szj4n,"Okay everyone so my friend, M26, invited me to his wedding recently. He moved away so I haven't been able to see him as much so when he invited me I was happy to say yes and attend. His bride, F26, is also someone I know and also a friend, though not best friends and I know she has quite a few better friends than me, so I was surprised to have been asked to be a bridesmaid for their wedding though it wasn't something that I turned down. Everything went well with us getting our bridesmaid dresses and whatnot and getting ready for the wedding. We were told that we could wear jewelry as long as it wasn't too flashy or showy. So come the day of the wedding  I show up and I'm not wearing much jewelry, just a pair of small beaded hoop earrings, and a beaded choker necklace that went blended well with the color of the dress. My friend complimented me on my necklace and earrings but later on before the ceremony the bride pulled me to the side and said that she said not to wear anything that was too flashy or showy to which I responded that I didn't think that it was and that ""too showy"" is subjective to the person. She kinda gave a huff and was obviously irritated from that point on, though she never asked me to take off my jewelry so I left it on for the whole ceremony and reception afterwards  but after the reception she brought it up again and we started to argue about it and I said that my cultural jewelry wasn't flashy or showy at all and it was cultural items that I'm wearing. She continued to be mad at me and we haven't really talked since but I'm wondering was I the asshole?Edit since it was brought up: the other bridesmaids were wearing hoop earrings and chokers but their chokers were normal style chokers and not native so I inherently stood out from them as obviously mine was a different materia but did not stand out in front of the bride.",AITA for wearing my jewelry to my friend's wedding?,NTA
10tifr9,"I (21) need helpProblem #1, about 4 years ago, a family member moved in with us (my mom, aunt)  Let’s call her “person”. She’s at least 50. It was hell for me and my mom, person never cleaned, and hoarded all her stuff into our living room, you couldn’t walk there. She would eat, sleep, and work in our living room and barely left. She was supposed to find a place of her own. she stayed for over 3 years. What made this bad was our family was trying to help my Grandma, and she was lounging around our house. She left a few months ago, finally. Problem #2, before person moved out, our Grandma didn’t make it, this really hurt because she was the center. Family events were at her house. A week after my Grandma’s passing, people in our family wanted my mom and aunt to babysit their kids. I was infuriated because I knew my mom was upset. It was so out of line, they lost their mom, and people in the family want them to babysit their kids. Not even giving time to digest everything that happened. This is the moment I started to look at my family members differently.Problem #3, my cousin, let’s call her “persona”. she was sleeping around and got pregnant as a teen. People told her to stop, she didn’t listen. Now that’s she’s older, she neglecting her kid. He’s like 9 now. It’s pissing me off because now my mom and aunt have to step up, spend money, and raise him. She  treated me horribly when I little and treated my mom terrible the last few months when she has done nothing but help her kid. After person moved out, I wasn’t ready to have someone else come to our house. Now personas kid has to be here every weekend. I haven’t been coming home because he always has to be here. We have to spend money for him all the time. Our house has become some place for babysitting. I’m frustrated with persona because this is her fault, she won’t contact his father, she doesn’t do crap and because of her BS, everyone else has to step up for her kid. My mom has asked why are you happy to see the other kids but not personas kid. I told her straight up, I’m tired of them too but at least they go back home. When he’s here he has stay every weekend.  I feel like our house has been invaded, first it was person and now personas kid.  I’m convinced family is the biggest people who take advantage of you. help me and AITA ?",AITA for not wanting to be around my cousin,NTA
10t3bci,"I (24m) have a neuromuscular auto immune disease. It basically means my muscles weaken the more I use them. My condition is now managed and I can do most things now but i cant work for a few reasons.Recently my parents were in an accident leaving them both deceased. I have a little brother (7m) that i took in after this. 7m is on the spectrum but so am I. So far his been easy to take care of, my condition doesn't flare up and me being on the spectrum helps me understand him better than probably anyone, and i think that's very important.For the record this isn't a financial burden on me. I live in government housing so its a stable home with cheap rent, my pension was already more than enough to live on just for me and i now get payments for him added on to my pension (As i said i get more than enough from my pension so i put this money into a bank account for him in the furture). Im also with a disability service funded by the government that fund support workers for me that help me get my brother in the door for his own disability support to fund things like therapy, speech therapy, autism specialists and basically any funding he needs for support (even grief counseling). My aunt on the other hand thinks i cant do it and wants me to give her custody. I absolutely refuse. My brother bearly knows her and im really the only trusted person he has now. She also doesn't ""believe"" in Autism, adhd and mental health. While I am disabled i dont think it is a detriment but an advantage, especially for a kid like my brother who needs understanding. Im sorry if i rambled or added unnecessary detail, im not quite sure what is and isn't relevant but feel free to ask any questions to get a clearer picture. AITA?",AITA for taking in my little brother even though Im disabled,NTA
10t43an,"My ex-wife and I are throwing a birthday party for our son at my house tomorrow afternoon. My ex asked me to buy beer for the adults, but I quit drinking in November 2022 and no longer keep any alcohol in my house.  When I texted her about paying the bill for the supplies (food, water, juice, soda, etc.) she said ""Let me know what I owe for half of everything except for soda. I don't drink soda, so I'm not paying for anybody else to drink soda.""  She's obviously trying to pick a fight over this.  AITA for not supplying beer at my kid's party?Update -  The party was great and not a single person complained about not having alcohol there.  My ex, as much as it pained her, didn't complain and seemed to have a great time.",AITA for not supplying beer at my son's birthday party?,NTA
10tx8yb,"I’m a new Redditor to this subreddit, so I apologize if there are any errors. The other day, me and a couple of friends were playing a card game the our friend, Rachel (fake name) had brought. One thing that is necessary to know here, is that Rachel most likely has DID, or something along those lines, and it is clear they are not faking it. One of the alternatives that they have, we’ll call them Sarah, is much more emotional than Rachel, and can get upset much more easily. It is important in this story, as apparently a majority of this conversation was when Sarah was fronting (we didn’t know of this). It was a rather intense round, but we all were laughing while yelling at each other though, so it was a fun time. Then Sarah while grinning, proceeded to slam down a card, and make a move the we decided to not allow, since it wasn’t fair. I had tried to do it in the past and everyone, including her, said no. The rest of us immediately protested against this, and it started a rather heated debate, that most of us were laughing during (it’s a game). When I stated that “ hey I wasn’t allowed to do that before when I was trying to do it” they quickly responded with “do you seriously care that much about a past game that much?”. We ended up not allowing it, and we figured that it was just a funny, but heated debate we had. After all of us got home, however, Sarah sent us all a screenshot, saying that what they were trying to do was a fair play, on the game’s official page. We all kind of assumed that this was all in a light hearted manner, and was responding sarcastically. However, they BLEW UP. They called us “sore losers” and said “you all jumped in to try and prove that I’m stupid”. We never did such a thing, so we were all confused. We finally realized it was Sarah talking to us instead of Rachel, and after a while, we finally managed to get Rachel talking to us. All of us never said anything hostile, and only responded with really calm responses. Rachel started dming only me, and they still didn’t really understand why we weren’t allowing that play, especially since it was allowed on the official site. I explained that it was just how we played before, and to us it felt like cheating, and this conversation kept going back and forth. Eventually Sarah stepped in to the conversation again, and said that I should stop manipulating Rachel since I know they always say yes to everything. After that I decided to end the conversation since it was going nowhere. At the time I felt that I was in the right, but now I’m not so sure, as what they said is true, and it may just be my pettiness that is not allowing it to happen. Also it may have been our fault as 3 people, were arguing against 1 person and that may not have been fair. This isn’t the first time Sarah has thought really negatively about me, and so I’m worried I’ve done something wrong.",AITA for not allowing my friend to change a rule that we all already established?,NTA
10to87k,"A bit of background. I'm (25m) Indian, so expenses that might seem low for you as a western reader are a lot higher for me. My mother is a SAHM. She is unfortunately not financially independent. I landed my dream job 6 months ago, and divide my income 3 ways, a third going to investments, a third going to my personal expenses and savings and a third going all to her.Regarding the financial situation of our family, both me and my father earn well, but he recently took out an expensive insurance and I joined the labour force only recently, and haven't hit my savings goal yet.Coming to the issue, my cousin (26f) is getting married soon. She comes from a rather poor household and never owned any jewellery growing up. I zeroed in on a few beautiful and yet reasonably priced earrings and necklaces that cost anything between $300 - $400. It would be a bit of a stretch for me to fund it all by myself, so I made a mental note to ask my father to split the expense closer to the wedding date and gift it collectively as a family.I was shocked to learn today that my mother already collaborated with my cousin and her mother (my aunt) to choose a $900 jewellery for my cousin. What's worse is that she literally said, ""It's a gift from me and (my name)"" without even consulting with me in the first place. Now, she asked me to pay her $400 while she will be funding the rest from her own savings.While I can cover the expense if I really have to, it will put me in a vulnerable position for a month or two if an emergency expense comes up, so I told her that gifting my cousin a $900 piece is a terrible idea. However, my mom insists on gifting it. Both of us have extremely strong and dominant personalities, so I told her that I won't be paying a single penny of the 900 dollars while said that she'll burn all her savings on it if that's the last thing she does.I might have yet agreed to pay if I actually liked the necklace that was picked, but it's rather old fashioned while I prefer modern, sleek and elegant designs.I am aware of my mother's finances and can well understand that if she covers the entire expense herself, it would put her in quite a good amount of financial distress for at least a quarter, if not more. So, AITA? Should I help out with the expense?",AITA for telling my mother (52f) that I won't give her a single penny?,NTA
10tua0y,"During our Saturday morning shuffle, I (f35 AuDHD) was getting my family ready for a sledding activity that was on our calendar. We were all ready at home, just waiting for my dad to drop off my son after hockey practice. We have a rocky father/daughter relationship but he tries to be a better grandpa. So he was taking my son (11) to/from hockey practice, bringing him home, then my partner and I were taking our kids sledding. Sledding was a hockey team event and my son knew he could cancel going but wanted to change in between activities instead. No problem. As he’s getting ready, I’m trying to gather things by the door and my dad’s just standing there. He did not want to come sledding and had told us beforehand. He was playing a bit with my toddler, but I’d needed to work around him as he stood at the door. I was feeling anxious trying to cue him I am done visiting and need to get out the door. So I tried to speak this. I said ‘I’m feeling anxious, as you’re in way of the door. Did you need anything else from me - or you just visiting with the toddler?’ He walked out. He just turned around and left. Ignored my calls and text. Eventually he told me he was disrespected when I said ‘he was in the way’ and he needs to exit situations that cause him to feel disrespected. He refuses to see how he hurt me by walking out the door and feels his anxiety when I speak to him ‘that way’ makes me difficult. So AITA for telling him he was making me anxious from standing at the door as we were trying to leave?","AITA When I told my dad he was causing me anxiety standing in the doorway he walked away, drove away, has ignored me except to say he was disrespected.",YTA
10tvmjn,I’ve been best friends with this person for almost 10 years now and it’s always been great. But for about a year now I’ve noticed stuff changing. They were diagnosed with autism which is fine and I do not care about at all but since he was diagnosed he’s started being really difficult to deal with. He always has to be right and even whenever he’s wrong he’ll be persistent that he’s right and then get pissed off.To give an example: the other day we were talking abt sitcoms and I brought up “the good place” he said that the good place wasn’t a sitcom and when I said it was he googled it (he wanted to prove he was right) Google said that it was a sitcom and he tried to argue that me and google were wrong and he was right.I’ve mentioned before that it’s annoying that he always has to be right and he said “it’s because I am always right and you’re just stupid”. The thing that rlly bugs me abt him is that every time I say anything critics abt him he always responds with “it’s because of my autism” but if it was then he would’ve have always behaved that way.Sometimes I think abt lashing out and telling him how much of a dick he is but if I did it would be awkward as we go to a club together and get rides with each others parents. I feel like I would be an asshole for lashing out because it’s autistic and we’ve been friends for so long so idk. WIBTA?,WIBTA for lashing out at my bsf,YWBTA
10tq9tp,"I’m 15, female. I want to start this off by saying i’m incredibly grateful for anything i’ve received and i’m not trying to sound like a brat. I have two siblings. My brother has been taken to football games abroad multiple times, (by himself, with my dad) My sister was taken on multiple solo trips (My dad, mom) To Disneyland, Bahamas etc. What do i get? Nothing. For christmas my brother got a phone, sister abt 200 lego sets, me some skincare sets. I’m very grateful for this by the way. I just feel like im not being given equal opportunities as my siblings. So I jokingly said in a conversation with my parents that i’m the last favorite, of course they take offenese to this and say i’m spoiled and should be more grateful.. So, AITA for accusing my parents of having favorite children? Sorry if i sound really spoiled, ik this post isn’t interesting i just wanted to get it off my chest",AITA for thinking i’m the least favourite child??,NTA
10tphcn,"I (F16) am biracial. My dad (M42) is African American and my mom (F39) is Asian of Japanese descent. Both of her parents were from Japan. Neither of her parents liked me or my dad. I know why, he knows why. My mom pretends to be clueless because it's her family, but I feel that she knows why secretly. She still expected us to visit her racist dad at his deathbed and we did.So I grew up visiting these people. Not because I wanted to, but because I had to. And even though my dad was well aware they're racist, he still forced himself to go with us and told me to just be appreciative they ""wanted"" to see us, which really we were treated poorly by them. They were always upbeat around my full-blooded Asian or white & Asian mixed cousins, but they liked to talk down on me, criticized me a lot, made jokes about black or dark-skinned people in general, and just acted weird around me. This is how they've always been, ever since I was a little girl.Well, like I said, my mom made us visit her dad in the hospital before he did. Neither of us liked this AH. And just a few days ago, my mom's mother died, and she wanted us to go with her to visit her like we did her dad. Well, my dad went, but I ended up getting in a HUGE argument with my mom, making it clear that I didn't want to see her mom. She kept asking why and telling me that I was being hateful, and I explained in-detail about the reason she should already know. Again, she wanted to pretend they weren't like that, but she knew well how they were. I was firm about putting my foot down and not going. I came to a point where I shouted at my mom, saying I don't give a shit about her mom or if she dies. That's where the conversation died out and they just left.My mom's mother is dead and 6 ft. under by now since that was weeks ago, but my mom and I are NOT on good terms. We might live in the same house, but we're pretending to be strangers. We haven't talked at all, and when I mean we haven't talked, not a word spoken.I know what I said was messed up, but I'm old enough to choose whether or not I want to see the woman who made fun of me for my skin color during her last moments. There came a point where I got tired of it.AITA?",AITA for not visiting my mom's mother at her deathbed?,NTA
10snd3t,"Me (28M) and my soon-to-be-wife Phoebe (27F) have been dating for 4 years.We’ve a quite amazing relationship to be honest.We were at a mutual friend's funeral, George (27M). The three of us met at college and we basically became buddies from the get go. None of us are archeologists by the way. Our BA was Business administration.A couple of weeks ago we were at George’s funeral service, most of the time just us with his family. We were the only ‘outsiders’ there. Phoebe, completely out of the blue, started to talk about archaeology to George’s mother.**TL;DR:** She started talking about some obscure South American indigenous mummies.In detail, she talked about about an ancient native boy who was found buried with a purposefully punctured (broken) “antara” flute next to his mouth, that they called a “killed instrument” as it was meant to never be played by anyone else, in the same way it was played once by its owner. The flute was made of stone called “combarbalita”, which means it was meant to last through generations, so it had to be broken on purpose. She talked about a connection between the flute and its owner being buried together, and the idea that the instrument was willfully broken in order to bring the instrument closer to his owner in eternity, achieving immortality for both of them by that irreversible action of breaking an instrument that was meant to last forever.​I’m basically paraphrasing but that was the idea. I can use some of her fancy words because she literally air dropped the article she was talking about, right there at the service. I’m wasting characters on this just so you know how obscure the conversation was.I get the idea. I get the intention. It is interesting… for a college class. In the context of a funeral for our dear friend, however, I thought it was out of pocket and sort of distasteful, disrespectful, to talk about that.George’s mother was polite and she asked some questions but she was mostly quiet just listening to Phoebe talking non-stop. Then, George’s father and brother approached us and she was about to start to tell them the whole damn story once again. I quietly said “Please don’t…” she was about to start rambling so I told her “just shut the f\*ck up, please”.She didn’t speak to me for that entire evening. We talked about it later, back in our place and I explained why I reacted that way. She said “ gotcha, you’re fine” but she has acted differently to me since that day. One of my friends told me that I ‘broke’ her and it does feel that way. It’s almost like she’s a robot and her software it’s malfunctioning. Tension is high for both of us and George’s death hit us hard on both of us, so IDK if I’m missing something. AITA?**Edit:** I’m asking IF I AM the asshole here. **Don’t call my fiancé “crazy” or derogatory words.** That’s out of place and I’m not here for that shit. I’m deleting this if you keep atacking her.",AITA for telling my fiancée to shut the hell up and stop talking about archaeology at a funeral?,NTA
10sj8v8,"I (24m) am throwing my own birthday dinner for my family and close friends this weekend. I'm moving out of state next week and wanted to hang out one last time with my entire family. However, I specifically told me older sister(35f) that under no circumstances is she to bring my nephew (8m) to the party. Here why:1. My gf is on medication and has gained a considerable amount of weight due it and he has taken to calling her ""fatty"" every single chance he gets. This is something she's very insecure about I know it hurts her feelings. 2. The kid doesn't know how to share. If there is a dish on the dining table he likes he empties the entire bowl on to his plate and throws a tantrum if someone tries to take some off his plate. One time I was hanging out with him, my sister and my my mum, I had exactly 5 left over macaroons so everyone could at least eat one. He grabbed the box and eat of all them completely ignoring me when I told me he had to share. Almost every person in my family has tried to tell my sister that her son's behavior is not acceptable and her only response now is that 'i can't help it, he doesn't listen' or 'he's just a kid, he'll grow out of it' So I told her you either come alone to the party or don't come at all but I don't want your kid there. Of course this led to her calling me immature and I didn't care. However, it wasn't until my mom pointed out that I was a grown man excluding a kid from a party that I started feeling that maybe i was overreacting.I still don't want him at the party, what do you think? Aita for excluding him?Also sorry if there are any grammatical errors, english is not my first language.",AITA for not inviting my 8y old nephew to my birthday dinner?,NTA
10tkeyb,"My kid's (lucky kid) has a a trip to Europe planned, with a large group. His tour will take him to city that I always wanted to see in Central Europe. My dad got word that we were going to meet our kid there and asked if he can come along. My dad's a great guy. No drama. No conflict. My wife's wonderful too. So, not your typical AITA post.  But here's the deal. My dad's in his 80's. He has some dietary restrictions. Generally, he makes little to no effort to plan or learn the language, which puts me in charge of daily activities, including meal time, transportation (car rental-Uber. Also, the third wheel thing. The wife and I have been looking forward to a proper post Covid trip and taking an elderly parent, isn't exactly the ideal couple's trip.   Now, here's where I might be TA.   This might be my dad's last chance to go to Europe. He's a widower. He really doesn't have anyone else to travel with. He's been a great dad to me, there's no drama and it really pains me to think about telling him 'no,' no matter how sound my reasoning is.  Go easy on me Reddit. I just want to do the right thing.Edit 1: we’ve taken my dad to Europe twice beforeEdit 2: he has no significant physical symptoms, he would require assistance in interacting with anyone outside the family once he has left the international airport.",WIBTA if I went to Europe without my father and instead making it a couple's trip?,YTA
10slcdf,"When my wife (28F) and I (32M) were still dating, we had this thing where we said, before every anniversary, we would ""divorce"" each other so we could ""get married again"" and go on another honeymoon. We've actually been doing this for the past 3 years; I have a reminder on my calendar named ""prepare for divorce"" 6 months before, which is around when I start booking flights, thinking about taking time off, etc.. Kind of silly, but yeah. A while back, we were out with a few of her friends. At some point in the night, I excused myself, but left my phone on the table. I noticed after I got back that one of her friends (K), who's normally pretty okay with me since we play games together, was strangely cold to me, but I thought they might just have been tired.Long story short, the reminder *just* happened to pop while I was away and K saw it. They then started telling all of my wife's friends and met up with my wife to ""tell her the bad news"". She was equal parts confused and embarrassed, but eventually cleared the misunderstanding up.I was/am quite unhappy with K for violating my privacy and not trying to clarify the situation before blowing it up. My wife understands where I'm coming from, but says K was just trying to protect her. K thinks that I'm an idiot for having something like that on my phone, and is refusing to apologise. My wife's friends are kind of split.AITA?",AITA for making my wife's friends think we were getting divorced?,NTA
10tro2f,"let's start with the family tree, because it gets useful later. my grandpa and grandma have 6 children (3 males, 3 females). all of them are married and have their own families. two years ago, my grandpa died. and ever since then my grandma's health has been deteriorating.everyone lives within 20 mins range of grandma's apartment, except us (me, my siblings, dad and mom who is her daughter). we live in the same building but different floor. so mom takes care of grandma on a daily basis from 7am till 6pm she comes back home. same thing even before grandpa died. anyways, a year ago, my cousin who grew up living at my grandma's because it's closer to her uni and eventually work, got married. and thus she left grandma's apartment. so ever since then, my uncles and aunts put up a weekly schedule to know who sleeps during the night at my grandma's. they agreed that each one of them(5) sleeps a night, while my sister sleeps two nights and mom takes care of her during the day.i don't think any of this is fair at all but okay.then hakf a year ago, my uncle had an accident at work and he was bedridden for a month because of many fractured ribs. and he is still mentally and emotionally not ready to even do the basic things. we understand that. but shouldn't one of his children come sleep instead of him? not at all. they only show their faces when there is an occasion where grandma invites everyone over a feast.this left me sleeping over once a week. and honestly it would be bearable to do so if she didn't fall between my arms a month ago and was blamed for it for it by certain family members (guess who? lmao). not just that, but my grandma is so hard to deal woth especially if she doesn't show you affection or love or gratitude. she doesn't let me kiss her head, or hold her, and she keeps judging every single thing i do. she isn't pleased by anything i do, not just me but my mom and sister as well. but whenever these brats show up for a free meal three times a year, she's all smiley and lovey-dovey and it fucking hurts.and if you dare say anything about it, you can't hear the end of it at all, especially when my aunt is paying my tuition fees because im unemployed and my parents barely manage to get by.so WIBTA if tomorrow i tell them i don't want to sleep over and take care of grandma?",WIBTA if i refuse to take care of grandma?,YTA
10ssnau,"So today I'm flying back to my home city just to spend time with my friends on saturday. We're 7 and it takes forever to plan anything with everyone now that we started having partners and kids. So I told them 2 months in advance that I'm coming. They all put down the date and we started planning. Everyone is excited.On to the problem. Today one of my friends said she can't come anymore because her partner is going out with his friends and they don't have a babysitter for their 3 kids. His excuse you ask?? He saw that she had put down the date in their calender, but didn't put a time, so he just assumed he could spend the whole day with his friends. In what world is that okay? And then she continues to say that it's not the first time, and she has to choose her battles in her marriage. Some backstop, because this isn't their only problem. He literally has the same punishment as the kids if he doesn't pick up and clean after himself. He calls it ""babysitting"" his own kids. He will not put the kids to bed, because there is always a game to watch. And cooking and cleaning is just that magically happens. And probably a lot more I don't remember or know about.So I called her and we had a long chat, where I told her it's about time she left him. She said she would think about it. But then a couple of hours later I get a screaming phone call from him, calling me all sorts of names for involving myself in their marriage. I pretty much said ""Well, this phone call pretty much proves my point on you being the 4th child"" and then hung up.Yes I know it's not my marriage, but I'm so sick of hearing about their problems and never seeing her anymore. She needs to know she has support when she finally figures it out AITA?",AITA for telling my friend to get a divorce?,NTA
10tsgck,"So, I just started a new position as GM and was debating whether to take it because I have such bad ADD and Executive Dysfunction. My kids supported me to give it a shot initially (my kids are grown but we still live together sharing expenses). I've been working 13 to 20 hour days/7 days a week to start and still have to keep texting work or taking calls when I'm home. One evening, one of my kids asked me if I am salary or hourly, and I told her that I am paid hourly. She lectured me that it's wage theft to work off the clock and basically demanded that I turn off  my phone so that we can watch the movie I promised to watch with her that evening. I explained to her that I can't do that as I am the GM and there is no 'off the clock' or whatever as I am the main person with all the responsibility now. She got really angry with me, but I was angry too because I felt that she wasn't supporting me as she initially had encouraged me to take the position.Later, after my back and forth texting with work ended, I started watching a TV show with my other kid. My daughter came back to see if I would watch the movie with her and I said, ""Yes once this episode ends. However, I fell asleep as I always do after eating and having a carb crash. When I woke up, the program was still on but it was on a new episode. My daughter came in and was infuriated that 2 hours had passed and that she had been waiting to watch the movie with me. I apologized and said I had fell asleep and forgot (my forgetfulness is amplified to the nth degree with the lack of sleep I have been getting).My daughter was pissed and went to her room, but I never went to apologize because I was pissed too that she was being so demanding and not supporting me. Now she hasn't spoken to me in a week, and I know I should go apologize for breaking my promise but should I???  I'm still pissed that she was being so demanding and not supporting me. Like, you're a grown ass adult. WTF?!AITA for neglecting family time given my new position, extreme tiredness and lack of support?Edit: Just editing to add that I usually always make time for my kids as my room is the living room with no privacy and is where everyone congregates immediately when I wake up and get home, even though I'm an extreme introvert.",AITA for not watching a movie with my kid?,YTA
10u1q7c,"Hi. Me (17 18 in june) have been in the dating stage with this girl I really like, (17 18 in march) for a little over a month now. We've been on 2 public dates so far, one to get lunch, and then hung out blasting music in her car for a couple hours, and two went to a skating rink with her for a couple of hours. Now this next week I would like to go to this parade with her and meet her mom, and then later to go to her house for a few hours and meet her siblings and get to know them, and hang out alone for the first time. Right? sounds fine! Wrong. My mom believes it's too soon! Let me bring in another statement. My ex, who I jumped into a relationship with after a week of talking and meeting. My mother meets my ex and a week later let's me go over to her house. We decided we were official that first date. SO Not rushing things. Nextly she believes me and her should become official before we hang out alone. No. thats not how this works, I should not have to date somebody after a month of knowing them to hang out. The whole reason is so I can determine whether or not I should fully commit to this! I really like her but, every time we hang out my mom wants to know our every location and every place. Another thing is, we live in a dangerous city, however she lives in a town over THAT IS SUBURBS hardly any crime. So why is she so pressed about it? I completely understand her concern but am very uncomfortable with how she is going about it. I feel as though I can't even live. I never ask for anything. I've only ever had 2 friends sleep over 1 time each in my entire life living with her. My dad was much less tense about that. I've only asked for a few things and a few times to be with friends. And each time she watches my location and needs to make sure I don't move. She will watch my location to make sure it's not on the car, and if it is, she says ""I don't like where your phone is pinging"" She's always done this with my previous relationships. And the girl I'm talking to says she feels as though she's talking to me and my mom. AITA???",AITA My mother won't give me the freedom I need,NTA
10tg8ig,"I 22 f am in a relationship with (let's call him X 23 m). My boyfriend and I used to live together for a year before he went back to his hometown due to constant fights... I was alone so a made some friends and became extremely independent. Normally he lives 10 hours away and he used to visit once every 2 months for 3-4 days . This went for 6 months... He was 2 hours away a couple days back so he wanted to surprise me by visiting suddenly. Incidentally I made plans for a night out with some friends the same day.. I work from home and rarely leave the house, maybe once or twice a month. He called and asked where I was , I said I was about to leave with some friends. He said he was at my door. I was just five minutes away. I said I am coming back. He said there was no need and blocked my calls.. I texted him for half an hour with no response so I went back to my place while my friends waited. He answered after half an hour saying he was now with a friend 2 minutes away and will be back by 1/2 an hour. By this time I got bit upset and angry and said I was leaving. He said ok... It was a 4 hour round trip. Once I left I immediately regretted but I couldn't ask my friends to turn back and spoil their trip too... I came back and he said he left... We've been fighting ever since.... AITA here?",AITA for standing up my long time boyfriend for a friends night out after he travelled 3 hours to meet me.. ?,NTA
10twlsz,"English is not my first language and I am typing this on mobile, so sorry for grammar mistakes!I (F26) got into a fight with my best friend (M23) 2 days ago. Possibly relevant: I have BPD and he has depression.We both live on our own, one street apart. We usually spend all our time together, unless to work and sleep, and always eat dinner together.Our work schedules don't line up, since I work nightshifts from 11PM till 7AM, and he works morning shifts from 9AM till 6PM. Our time together is less now, so to make up for it, when I have to work, my best friend usually walks me to the station, which is a 10 to 15 minute walk from our houses, and picks me up once I am done.It might be a simple, short walk, but I value that time spent together, so it is important to me, which he knows. Something I also have to mention here, is that I have a big problem with people who promise stuff, but don't follow up with it. This comes from my childhood, mainly my dad, who always made promises, yet never followed through. He also abandoned me in my childhood, after he divorced my mom.My best friend knows about this and knows I hate fake promises and feeling forgotten/abandoned. Every time he drops me off at the station, I ask him if he will pick me up after my shift and he always promises me he will. Sometimes I even double-ask. And he double reassures me.The problem is, my best friend is really forgetful and has a hard time doing basic tasks, due to his depression. Such as making appointments, remembering them and attending them and the biggest of all; my friend really struggles with being on time. He has a habit to sleep in a lot, not hearing his alarm clocks and he is often late for things.Because of this, it has happened numerous times already that, once I get out of the train, he isn't there. So then I walk home alone and feel sad/angry/hurt (depending on my mood, because my BPD is unpredictable). He now only shows up about 30% of the time.When I ask why he wasn't there, it's always: Lost his glasses, his alarms didn't go off, or wrong time, phone wasn't charging. With every time he is not there, my hurt grows.2 days ago, he forgot to pick me up again and I absolutely lost it this time. I got really angry and told him that it is important to me and that he keeps hurting me by not showing up. He said sorry and that he is trying his best, which I know, but I didn't accept the apology this time and kept being angry. This made him angry too and he said I am always nitpicking on him, being hard on him and the fight escalated. I accused him of things, he accused me of things and it got pretty nasty and it ended with him saying he doesn't want to be friends anymore. It's been 2 days and I haven't seen him, nor spoken to him and I really wanna make up. I want to know if I was the A-hole for flipping on him when he didn't show up.I will accept any judgment you give me and take responsibility.",AITA for exploding on my best friend after he forgot to pick me up again?,YTA
10to1vz,"My boyfriend and I have been dating for one year. We don’t currently live together but have talked about it for the future. I live with my daughter from a previous relationship.I see my boyfriend a few nights a week, mostly when I don’t have my daughter, but occasionally he comes over when I have her. She’s becoming more comfortable with him and it’s all going well in that regards.We’ve fallen into the routine of him coming to my house to spend time and sleepover. I actually prefer my place as it seems easier for him to bring his stuff than vice versa. He said he is okay with this. I’ve noticed that since he spends more time at mine, we are going through a lot more of my groceries for meals and I am usually the one cooking as it is my house.I’ve recently gone through some changes at work where my hours have been reduced and I am looking to cut back on expenses. He knows this. I spoke to him and asked if there could be a way forward where we could split the costs of cooking of meals and take turns to cook when we do meet up. He agreed. He had planned to cook for my daughter and I tonight. He made homemade chicken nuggets and chips (fries). All was good and I was happy with that. Then I asked him if he had brought the chips from his house and he said no, he used the ones in my freezer.I don’t know why but this really rubbed me the wrong way. The whole part of taking turns was that I didn’t have to buy all the food. Also the fact that he didn’t ask to use those and I was planning on using them for my daughter and I later in the week.WIBTA if I tell him that this bothered me and that I want him to actually purchase all the ingredients (not including pantry basics like salt) when it’s his turn to cook?",WIBTA if I ask my boyfriend to pay for all the meal ingredients if it’s his night to cook dinner?,NTA
10tq3up,"This is something I was extremely uncomfortable with but did anyway. Maybe because I felt an obligation  b/c my friend was so distraught...I don't know. I have a friend who got started dating very late in life for our area. (22)Lost her virginity to a one-night-stand at 25. When I met her at trade school she was 26.She threw herself into these impossible situations where it was obvious to me she was being used as a ""side piece"" or ""booty call"" but convinced herself the men she had ""encounters"" with were her ""boyfriends"" or ""almost-boyfriends/potential mates.""She had no socials, so she'd asked me to log into mine and look the men up so she could peruse their pages for Intel, I guess, on what they were up to and why they weren't calling her back. I very reluctantly did this, as I hoped seeing these men were involved with other women or already in public LTRs would help her move on. It usually just made her mad.If one was in a class I had she didn't, she'd ask me to ""observe & report back"" to her on their behavior: Were they into other girls in the class? Did the flirt? Did they ever talk about her? If she didn't have class on a day that I and one of her ""fellas"" did, she'd ask me to look for their car in the parking lot. I guess to ""make sure"" they weren't ""up to something else"" when they were supposed to be at school.I did this, too, and hated it. One of her, erm, ""suitors"" lived in an apartment complex she couldn't remember the location of. It was near me, so when she asked if I knew where it was I told her. Innocent enough, right?Big mistake. She wanted to conduct a ""stake out"" on his place.I absolutely drew the line at going with her to sit in her car camped out in front of her latest obsession's apartment to monitor the comings and goings outside his door,  particularly those of the female variety. That was just TOO FAR.But I fear I set her up to believe I would actually help do this because of my prior complacent behavior.AITA for caving & helping her ""spy"" on her prospective boyfriends earlier, no matter how reluctant I was to do so?","AITA for helping my friend ""spy"" on her ""prospective boyfriends?""",NTA
10ty6ca,"I (21 F) Despise my father. He is a losey piece of crap. He was rarely there in our lives, and would rather have laid up under women then take care of his children. There is so many traumatic things that I went through as a child that no child should have to go through. One that is involved in the story is that I was put in fostercare from the age of 15 to a few months before my 17th birthday. It was awful, and the family that was supposed to be the closest to me abandonded me. (My fathers side of the family) I've tried to move forward with my life with my new partner and I had to move away for my own mental health away from my fathers side of the family. I hate them for what they have done to me.Although I saw these things about my father, I try my best to keep a relationship with him. I guess it's because the little girl inside of me still wants to still have her father in her life..One day, my father and I had a conversation. I don't know how the topic was brought up, but he had asked me multiple times if he was a good father. I just said yes so he'd leave me alone, because I knew that If I said no, he'd ask for a whole story as to why. Most of the things he have done to me was when he was drunk. (he was in and out of sobriety for a few years now). He started talking about how he wanted to have another child because me and my siblings do not really like him. I am only somewhat close to one of my siblings. Mind you, he was hoping back and forth between putting little effort in taking care of me and my brother, and my other brother and sister (They have a differnt mom) My brothers are 5 weeks apart and have the same name (named after him) so you can tell what type of man he is. He said that having another child he could do right by them. I flat out told him that taking care of a child is not as easy as it seems. It's not just about sending them money. (he never changed my diapers as a kid because he doesnt change girls) He needed to change their diaper, dress them, take them to appointments, take them to school, mold them into proper functioning people, Everything he didn't do with any of my siblings and I. The conversation was left sour.Well, a few weeks ago my father sent me a text message after trying to call. I ignored the call. He asked if i remembered when I was younger when I told him I could have a younger sister. I vaugly remembered him telling me this after telling me of his various flings. She said he wasn't the father and he moved on with his life. Well, the woman he slept with contacted him and told him he is infact the father of the child. My father was estatic. I simply said that he should get a DNA test to be sure, if this woman lied once, she could lie again! He then sent me a picture of the girl, saying that she looks just like me. i have to admit, there were small features, but again, i rheitorated that he needed to get a DNA test just to be sure. A few days later, he sent me pictures of him meeting the girl! Talking about how he was going to spoil and treasure her after finding his new daughter. This pissed me off. My father calls me all the time complaining about how child support is taking so much of his money away. ((It's well deserved because he never paid it he owes my mom her money)) He complains that any time I ask him for a little help getting myself situated, he doesn't have it, but he can buy my other sister $500 wigs and my brother a beam for his guns. He took my siblings to a 49rs game, but couldn't loan me $50 to help for bills when I was behind.This infuriated me beyond belief. My aunt says its because I used to be his favorite but thats far from the truth. Now my grandmother and aunt are involved. My grandmother called me today saying she was going to go see the girl. Aparently, she is in a group home now, (Her mother lost custody of her and she had behavior issues so her grandmother can no longer care for her) After the visit, my grandmother called me saying that that girl is her grandbaby and she acts just like me. She says she likes to draw, watch anime,((like every teenager born in the 21st century)) smiles, talks, and looks like me. She showed me pictures of her art, she was estatic. She said that althought the girl is in the system, she has a support system now. I always watned to scream. These people that completely abandonded me in foster care are going to help her! Where was that at when I was in foster care bouncing from home to home! I was so angry. I held my tounge. My grandmother started talking about me to the girl and said I was excited to meet her. I again said you should get a DNA test just to be sure!​Regardless of what your gut thinks, something could always be different. Plus, why put this girl through this thinking she may have another family and it turns out we are not her paternal family. So are they going to abandon her after they find out? My grandmother said I should see her and I declined. I said, ""I am not going to speak with her until I know for sure she is my sister, and even if she was my sister, why is that my responsibility to form a relationship with her when I don't have a relationship with my other siblings because of my fathers lack of control?"" She got quiet and we eventually ended the call. My father and aunt called me jealous and not wanting to share my fathers attention, but i feel like no one is thinking about this situation logically and the effects that this could have on that child.Am I missing something? AITA???",AITA For being realistic about the possibility of having another sister?,NTA
10tuhjz,"I (20f) met this girl (17f) three years ago in a summer camp as volunteers. We had a lot in common and immediately hit it off. What surprised me was that the age difference was not actually a problem. We were both interested in books, the same kind of music... Of course, we had a lot to talk about and spent a lot of time together. Even after the camp we texted every day for almost a year. After that maybe once in two weeks and now it is maybe once a month. We would also meet maybe twice a year, as we live only half an hour from each other.Actually, I never considered us to be close friends. I spent more time with my friends from elementary school (even though we weren't studying at the same school anymore) than with her. Maybe it wasn't nice of me, but she was more of an acquaintance to me.As time passed, we both changed significantly. She is into metal music now and came to love horses. That's basically all she talks about now. I don't like metal and  for some reason, I am actually a bit scared of horses so I don't feel comfortable talking about them. In addition, she got bored of all the common interests that we used to have. So, our conversation usually consists of her sending me links for various metal songs and asking for my opinion or sending me pictures of horses, or just talking about something connected to it. On the other hand, when I try to tell her about something, she turns the conversation back to herself. In the end, I just nod and ask questions when she starts with her ""monologue"". I have told her multiple times that I am not knowledgeable or interested in these topics. But nothing changes.The problem is that she invited me to go out with her next weekend. I have already told her that I can't a few times last year, but she always asks again. I don't see a point in meeting up anymore. In my opinion, we both grew up and our interests changed completely and we are not compatible anymore. I have tried to give her hints (saying that I don't have time to meet a few times in a row or never being the first one to text) but nothing works. I am actually an introverted people pleaser so I couldn't bring myself to tell her directly and used these childish ways to imply that I am not really interested. I hoped that our friendship will naturally fizzle out. WIBTA if I told her that I can't meet her and hoped that she would get the hint?TLDR: we used to be friends but now we don't have anything in common, but she still wants to meet sometimes, but I am not interested.",WIBTA if I (20f) did not go to meet my friend (17f) because I do not have anything to talk to her about anymore?,NTA
10t8k0r,"To give you guys context, I am a fifteen year old boy. I have mild autism and can’t realistically get a job at the moment due to schooling. My mother and I live in a small apartment with her three other kids. They are my half siblings and get treated way better than I do. They always get the newest clothing, best devices etc. My father died when I was young. My mom remarried and had kids, and tragically my stepdad who was actually a great guy died two years ago. My mom has always been tight with money, It’s understandable, but we aren’t poor. She buys upgrades for everyones phones (but mine) every year. I keep my mouth shut because I always assume that she doesn’t have the money for me. I dont mind, im fine with my iPhone 8, (My little brothers old phone that’s cracked) its not activated like my other siblings but I can still play fun games. Back to the topic, I am very socially inept due to my disability and it’s hard for me to talk to people I dont know. I also have a hard time picking up on social hints. All my clothes are usually handmedown from my father or she buys from goodwill or a thrift shop. I don’t complain because it makes me feel closer to my dad sometimes. This all boils down to yesterday. Yesterday I went shopping with my family. During the whole trip I kept quiet like I usually do, I dont like speaking up much or asking for things because I understand my mom is tight with money. However, my siblings all got some new clothes and shoes, they got them from the nike shop. I didnt complain or ask for anything. When we went to Walmart for groceries, there were these really cool pair of halloween socks. I love halloween, it’s my favorite holiday. So I asked my mom for them. To sum everything up, she blew up at me in Walmart. Calling me ungrateful, saying she wish she’d never had me, calling me an asshole for asking for things I knew she wouldn’t buy. My siblings then started calling me an asshole and I began crying. I haven’t spoken with them today because I feel really bad. I wouldn’t of asked if I was gonna be blown up at but then again im really confused. Why did she buy my siblings stuff and not buy me anything? So AITA?",AITA for asking my mom for some new socks,NTA
10se02s,"I'm a newly divorced dad of a 3 year old girl. I have her every other week.My daughter has very curly hair that my ex wife used to take care of. Now that I'm alone with her half the time, I have to figure it out. I try but on my weeks her hair was mostly a frizzy, tangled mess.A teacher at my daughter's daycare has very similar hair to my daughter's so I asked if she could help me with my daughter's hair. She said she could do my daughter's hair in the mornings if I dropped her off earlier (dropoff starts at 8, I usually drop her off at 8:45 but her teacher says if I drop her off by 8:20 she'll be able to take care of her hair). She gave me a list of curly hair products to buy and what to bring to school. She also gave me some tips for washing and caring for it at home.I guess my daughter told my ex that her teacher does her hair, not me, and that she goes to daycare early now because my ex called me and asked if I really drop her off a half hour early every morning just so I could ""avoid doing her hair"". She called me a bad parent for ""relying on a teacher to do my job"" and for messing up the morning routine so we could get to school early enough for the teacher to do her hair (we used to wake up, give her a bath, I'd attempt to do her hair, we'd have breakfast, then go to school but now we wake up, take a bath, and eat breakfast in the car).I thought I was doing right by making sure her hair is cared for on my weeks but my ex feels very strongly about this so I wanted to know if I was the asshole.Edit: I'm going to add some things to the post that I'm seeing in the comments. I am learning how to care for her hair. Her hair is healthier now than it was a few weeks ago. I have her hair down on the weekends because I still suck at styling it but it still looks good. The teacher really seems to enjoy doing her hair. I know she does other kids' hair but it's not exactly a set thing. Lastly, my ex was not willing to teach me how to do her hair when we were married and is not willing to teach me after the divorce.",AITA for dropping my daughter off at daycare early so her teacher could do her hair?,YTA
10tdglh,"So about two years back, my friend (24 at the time) texted me (would've been 26, F) to let me know they were coming through my city on their way to see their parents. I was super excited because I hadn't kept in contact with any other people from college, and there are reasons for that, but it was extremely isolating living in a state where I had nobody. This friend had been a pre-law student who took a gap year that just sort of turned into year-round bouldering. The last time I had seen them was right when they departed on their trip, and in hindsight, I should have remembered how badly that visit had gone, but I can't emphasize enough just how lonely I was. I was so looking forward to a little gossip, wine, maybe some trips to nearby attractions once I got off work in the evenings...At the time, I had a full-time job, and an apartment with a roommate whose relationship with me was tenuous. My one request of former roommate was basically, ""Don't let your boyfriend live here,"" and we had a huge falling out when she couldn't abide that.Point being, we weren't on super comf terms at any point while living together.So this friend--let's call them JT--texted me the day before they were supposed to arrive at the apartment and let me know they think they have a UTI. They also told me they'd stay for three days. Because of the UTI, we weren't really able to do anything aside from go to the grocery store, which is fine; it's just kind of weird to be stuck in a tiny apartment with a person you haven't spoken to regularly for years. But I did try. I asked if they needed a ride to urgent care and offered to pick up any food or drugs needed. The answer was always no.Around day 5, I started getting antsy. This is when I started to remember that JT had pulled this exact same stunt last time they visited, except then it had been an issue with a laptop that they needed resolved, and the visit ended up lasting almost two weeks.As I mentioned before, I was already not on great terms with my roommate due to HER ""visitor"" abusing his 5-consecutive-days limit. I still have anxiety about lease laws after unintentionally incurring a large fine against a friend when I was young and dumb. I bluntly expressed my fears to JT when they texted me while I was at work, asking why I'd been acting weird. The response was immediate and cold. They said they would go get a hotel room and just slide the spare key under the apartment door. I spoke with them while they were recovering (I think it took three more days?) and driving down to parents, just to make sure they got there safely, but have not heard from them since. They told me they had a bladder infection, and honestly, sometimes I wonder if that was just a lie to make me feel guilty for standing my ground.AITA for not allowing homeless friend to stay in my apartment indefinitely while they recovered?",AITA for kicking sick friend out of my apartment?,NTA
10tea0v,"A few weeks ago my partner was sick and had a high temp, he was feeling sick so I told him that if he felt like he needed to he should go to the doctors but it hadn't gone over 40 but if it did I would call an ambulance. I was worried, but he only had a temperature and flu symptoms. My partners sister called him telling him to call an ambulance because over 40 is deadly and he needs to go to hospital or he could die, this of course freaked my partner out and decided to go to the hospital which I put into the family group chat. My partner gets to the hospital and they are busy  they said not an emergency so there will be a few hours wait to be seen and if he wants to wait then he can but there's not much they can do, my partner stays in the hospital for 2 hours and hasn't been seen, he's feeling the same but not worse so he decided to go home, he puts it in the group chat to update everyone and his sister went off saying that his brain is going to boil, he could have seizures and die ect. And starts calling him names such as an idiot. This didn't sit right with me because my partner has insecurities about whether he is not as smart as everyone else and its something we've been working through but none mentioned anything or pulled her up on it so I decided to sleep it off to see if I was overreacting but the next morning it still didn't sit right with me so I replied to her saying 'hey I know you were worried about your brother but that was a bit much, I mean the situation was under control so it feels a bit uncalled for', this sent her in a rage and she started messaging me a wall of texts saying how he's her brother and I wasn't taking it seriously, I should know it's life threatening, she called him an idiot because she cares for him and I have no place saying how she talks to her brother, it was taken way out of context, how I shouldn't pick a fight with her over her caring for her brother ect.  I replied saying that I get she was stressed and I never intended to start a fight but that I won't not speak up about things that my partner mentions hurts him and only mentioned it because it does affect my partner. Since she has completely been ignoring me in person, we had a family BBQ a few weeks after and she ignored all my attempts to talk to her, my partner then pulled her up on it and she said nothing. The day after my partners other sister said she spent the whole time messaging her at the BBQ complaining about me  and she has been messaging me to start conversation and then ignores my replies. My partner says he wants to distance himself from her because of the way she is acting and some other stuff his other sister told him she said (he hasnt told me) but I feel like it is my fault for causing a rift.Tldr; SiL called partner an idiot and I told her it was too far and now she is ignoring me and badmouthing me to family, now partner wants to distance himself from her for how she is treating meAita?Edit: I forgot ages me and my partner are both 25 his sister is 30Also his temp never reached 40 even though it got really close",AITA for telling my SiL not to call my partner an idiot?,NTA
10tfzqd,"My and my friend arranged a meeting at westgate at 12, at shoryu (a restaurant) It is now 13:01 and I am honestly frustrated, however she did tell me it was due to traffic. I believe her, but I also did tell her to leave early due to traffic. I left my house at 11 to be there (I live 15 mins away) and she left at 11:45 (she lives 20 mins away)We agreed that I would order first, so she told me what she wanted and I ordered for her. I started eating as she STILL wasn’t here and I was very hungry.When she arrived, it was 13:15she told me off for eating, but I told her off for poor planning. AITA?",WIBTA if I told my friend off for being an hour late?,NTA
10tohcp,"I (41m) was about to have a birthday last weekend. My roommate (39f, also my ex btw) mentioned getting a beer or two at the local bar just a few blocks from my house to celebrate. I have to admit, since my father passed recently I've probably been a bit melancholy over my approaching birthday. It's my first time with no living parents, so i ended up accepting. Honestly, I tried to postpone it just before we left lol. This is what happened...6:30 We got there, ordered some drinks and some nachos and we're having a good ol time BSing. 7:00 Suddenly, some of my friends started showing up and then a few more. I was happily surprised! They all explained to me that the night before, they were invited to meet at 7:00 by my (ex SIL, ex's sister) who I'm very close to. But then the million dollar question...Where is (ex SIL)? One of my friends had called her before hand and she was ""on her way"", but that was an hour ago. 7:30 Roommate called and was told she was ""driving there right now"". 8:00 Roommate calls again and ""they're close"". We all had a nice time chatting and catching up, ordering food, everyone was buying me free drinks, ect. Well guys, 8:30 rolls around and my friends who all had previous engagements, which I knew btw, had started wrapping things up. I thought it was nice they were able to make the time to ""surprise me"" on such short notice to begin with. 8:45 (ex SIL) shows up with her new Husband and one of their buddies as I'm walking the last of my friends to their car. She said ""everyone is leaving, thought they'd hang out a few hours at least"", I said ""they did"". So she's gonna make up for it by ordering food and drinks. 9:00 I opened my gifts she brought. I enjoyed them and found them to be my personal taste which was very thoughtful. She took this to be a photo opportunity as she often does and I had a great time talking with her husband and their buddy, while trading her phone back and forth so photos could be taken.9:15 Her teenage son called, said he heard a noise and was scared. So she abruptly leaves with everyone she brought in tow. Her son (14, on the football team, is a foot taller, and 100 pounds heavier than me) does this a lot to get attention and it's usually handled with a lot less urgency. I was just sitting there alone with my roommate at a huge empty table.. I was kinda dumbfounded. I feel like l inconvenienced my friends, who I do see frequently, for her internet cred. She posted all the pics that same night with sappy text next to them. She was barely there that night! I frankly would have been just as happy watching travel stuff on YouTube and having a whiskey soda.I've told mutual friends I thought this was shitty. Some of them think I'm an ungrateful AH for not liking free drinks and presents. I think I might be an AH for not keeping it to myself knowing she knows what I think now. AITA?TL DR (ex SIL) sets up an impromptu surprise party, shows up late, arrives when everyone is gone and then leaves shortly after she gets thereEdit- Some clarification on her son. He does things like this very often when he's trying to get out of doing chores (like omg your ok, I guess it's fine you didn't clean your room)or when she goes out and he feels like he's being left out. He didn't call 911, he called his tiny mom. Only mentioned his size because of thisUpdate - if anyone caresMy roommate is just home after a weekend with her bf.  She told me her sister (ex SIL) had invited herself to dinner with them and then didn't show up... Not sure what to make of this","AITA for being ""ungrateful"" for my Birthday Party?",YTA
10tl5ba,"For some background, my cousin and his GF are former addicts. They have been clean for a decade but couldn't ever get out of the places they were when they were addicts. They both felt unsafe living there and I also needed some help dealing with chores as I'm moderately disabled. I did not really know his GF too well but my cousin and I were practically brothers growing up (as my mom was the only one in the family that ever helped him when he was getting clean).When I asked him to move in, he did mention that he wanted to leave his GF behind. However, when he moved in, she was there. We lived together for 2 years and, while I would probably describe their relationship as toxic at best (mostly due to issues with her), she did decide to get help for her emotional problems and came back an entirely different person.My cousin, meanwhile, started to change after she got help. At first he was glad that he had ""the real her back"" but he started to act completely out of character for himself. Angry, combative, mean... also stopped eating anything except berries and lost at least 50 lbs over the course of a few months.Him and I had a big argument and that, along with his (once again) deteriorating relationship with his GF, caused him to move out. I didn't kick him out. I also said I would not kick HER out, despite him telling me to. Also, ex is in quotes because he will text her telling her how much he loves her one day then the next he'll say she's an evil woman who ruined his life.Anyway, since he's left, he's relapsed and blames me because I ""chose her over him"".While I didn't know his GF much before we moved in together, we became good friends and she has absolutely no family whatsoever. I can't kick her out on the street. I don't want to even.But I feel awful because he was like my brother and clearly having some sort of mental crisis regarding her.AITA for not kicking her out leading to my cousin leaving and eventually relapsing?","AITA for choosing my cousin's ""ex"" over him?",NTA
10thueo,"Background: My “best friend” and I have not been really talking lately as we’ve been hanging out with other friends. However, we’re still “friends”. I put the “best friend” in inverted commas because I have actually been trying to cut her out of my life because she’s been really toxic the whole time I’ve known her. I’ve actually really grown to hate her.Situation: last night, after I fell asleep, my best friend posted to her WhatsApp status that she’s been really depressed lately and she was in a really bad way. I saw the status updates this morning but I didn’t reply. I noticed a message from a mutual friend from last night expressing that she didn’t think my best friend was okay. I didn’t reply. Instead, I got ready for my day and didn’t think much of it. In the past couple of hours, I’ve been called a bad friend, some people have expressed their anger towards me and even called me a bitch. I think it’s weird that I’m expected to support her when she was never there for me.So Reddit, AITA for not making sure she was okay?",AITA for not checking up on my “best friend”?,NTA
10tp6vg,"So this morning I was going to head out the door for an appointment, but as I was getting dressed and going to catch my bus (I do not drive), I gave my boyfriend a kiss on the head since he was still sleeping. (He is sick at the moment and just slept like 17 hours). I accidentally woke him by kissing him on the forehead and saying I love you. He sat up and asked where I was going. And I said “I need to catch my bus in 10 mins, I’m going to my appointment”, he got up out of bed, and I said “well do you think you could drive me and we could go get groceries?” Since we were going that day anyways at some point for groceries. He said yes. My appointments usually last about 30 mins, but this time it went an hour longer than expected. I never knew it would go over 30 mins, so he sat in the car to wait. He got fed up and went to go get food while he was waiting. I came out to the car and I kept repeating “I’m sorry it took so long I had no idea” and he said “it’s fine. It’s not your fault”. I then asked “can I have a bite of your food?” And he said “no I’m starving”.. we went to go get groceries & came back out to the car, and he randomly got upset and said “you really are just like your mother.. you asked me for a bite of my food when I was starving and you woke me up to drive you somewhere when I’m sick” and I explained I didn’t mean to wake him up, and that I was just kissing his forehead before I left like he always does when he leaves in the morning. Then the whole way home was silent. he is comparing me to my mom that was upset texting me last night that my dad was not paying enough attention to her because he’s always with my grandma since my grandpa just passed away, and my grandma needs company. As much as I love my mom, she is very selfish. Am I the asshole for asking for a ride & not realizing it would take so long? Am I the asshole because I asked for a bite of food??? Am I the asshole for accidentally waking him up from a kiss? I just feel so upset he would even compare me to my mom. He tried to apologize and I just said I didn’t want to talk at the moment because I am insanely upset & angry",AITA: I feel very hurt by my bf comment,NTA
10to4cv,"Me (M23), Bruce (M23), Larry (M23) and Mary (F23) went on a two-day trip I organized. We stayed at a bedroom I rent in a house. It's the first time we do something like this. For day two the plan was to go to a volcano, visit an old building (tourist attraction), visit a forest park, and then head to the apartment. I woke up everyone early because the bus to the volcano parted at 8 and the only other bus there was at 12. I warned Larry not to make breakfast and instead eat something on the road because of how little time we had. He didn't listen and we missed the first bus. We waited an hour to take a different bus to the old building instead. We had a good time at that place, and at 12 we took the bus to the volcano. On the bus we find out we needed to a reservation to enter, which was a surprise to everyone, even the other tourist on the bus. We canceled the visit, leave the bus in the middle of nowhere, and contacted a taxi to take us to the forest, which was expensive. We had wasted so much time we could only stay an hour in the forest. The bus back to the apartment leaved at 4. We hadn't eaten lunch at this point. I proposed to walk there, to which everyone agreed. As we head down the mountain, we realize we were barely going to make it, so I quicken my step thinking that if I made it in time, I could retain the bus for a couple of minutes until the rest got there. Midway there, I realized Larry did the same, and we had left Bruce and Mary a few kilometers behind. There wasn't any signal on our phones, so we couldn't communicate, but once a call went thru, Mary told us to take the bus without them because they had stopped to eat so they weren't going to make it. Once our phones had signal, we received angry text from Bruce. Larry and I eat at the house, and then started to get everything ready to leave. When Bruce and Mary arrived they didn't complain to us, but I still tried to explain why we had done what we did.Once we were ready to leave, Mary called an Uber. Before closing my room, I gave it a final check, and realize my cooking pot was missing. I all over the place until I finally found it, but the Uber still had to wait for like 8 minutes outside.Even though things didn't go according to plan, I though everyone had enjoyed it, until a few days later Bruce informed us that Mary was very mad at both me and Larry, and that she even said she didn't consider us her friends anymore.We only realized she was mad because Bruce told us (she didn’t talk to us) so we didn't even have a chance to apologies for what had made her mad. On the trip back she didn't show any signs of being angry and treated us normally.Both Larry and I recognize we did some things wrong, but she is cutting an 8 yearlong friendship without even giving us the chance to apologize. Bruce told us he was angry at the moment, but that he didn't hold any grudge and that he tried to convince her to talk to us.",AITA for leaving my friends behind in the middle of nowhere?,NTA
10tqr9z,"Ok so me (26F), my girlfriend Pauline (33F) and my girlfriend's girlfriend Lindsay (36F) (we're polyamorous) went to a Denny's. Lindsay thought the waitress was cute, and is a shy type, so word for word this is what I said:  ""Okay, so two things. One, my friend here thinks you're cute. And two, could we get a couple extra pancakes to go?""  Lindsay turned red, trying her best to hide her face in her hair (smiling, though in embarrassment or anxiety I am not sure), the waitress didn't seem bothered, joking that I've made her turn beet red, and me and Pauline were having a good giggle.  Afterwards, I told the waitress that I was sorry if I overstepped boundaries when I went up to her to ask for some extra syrup, and she said something along the lines of 'it's okay I've had worse'. I feel like I was an asshole here... Please let me know what the decorum might be, or if I should just not mention anything at all when I or any of my party think waitstaff are cute. Thank you.",AITA for telling a waitress my friend thinks she's cute,YTA
10tv08v,"\--I am using the word ""They/Them"" simply to not gender the person as since they might be reading this.--Using a throwaway since my friend is also a reddit nerd. So for a long time, I been good friends with this person. Essentially since high school until not in our 40s. Even during COVID we always kept a good amount of communication through social apps and when restrictions were clear, we began to hang out again as well with other friends. Would at least see each other once a week or if things got busy once a month. Still communicating. However they picked up a habit of streaming and has gotten a rather mediocre following in which he plays with chatters. They chosen to ignore my requests to hang out in order to stream. So those weekly hangouts became monthly, then every 2 months then nothing at all for almost 6 months. They know my days off and know they can reach me to say ""hey do you want to hang out?"". Our usual social app communication through texting/phone calls became even more rare. Sometimes flat out ignoring me when I asked how they are doing.​So while ignoring me essentially every which way, I always tell them ""listen if you want to hang out, just reach out to me"". I would get confirmation with a ""sure will do"". Then on those rare moments where I have days off or there was a social gathering, I would not get invited to those. We have the same circle of friends so it becomes even more irritating that I am not included. How do I know? Because they all stream hanging out. We usually hang out together, all joining the stream in person. Those days seem long and gone now. So I decided to ghost them. Last week, they text me asking why I stopped texting them. I told them that I saw them stream on several days on days off that I am off and was never invited. They got offended that ""wow you are such a stalker. Looks like you need time off. Will talk to you later"".​AITA for using streaming to see what they are up too? Their schedule is the same and they always stream the same days. So it isn't like it is hard to guess. They feel ""stalked"" and offended that I used that in order to find out what they are doing. I feel like I am being excluded out and unsure how to word this properly to not ruin a friendship.",AITA For Streaming Sniping To Find Out I Am Not Being Invited To Social Gatherings?,NTA
10tdlxt,"I’m in my late twenties (f) my friend is late thirties (m). He has a kid under 10 with a difficult on again off again baby mother. When he got kicked out of the house I let him stay in the spare room in the flat I rent. He stayed the first month free and then a majorly discounted rate afterwards for the 6 months he lived with me, till he moved down south for work. He stopped paying after a few months of staying with me because of money issues and a 5 months since he moved out, he still owed me over £700. When he moved away it got to the point where I wouldn’t hear from him until he wanted to borrow the flat to come up and see his kid or his new girlfriend. I’d always let him, at times having the kid stay at the flat with him, and me and my boyfriend, so he didn’t have to see his ex. Christmas time came and because of seasonal work his girlfriend (early 20s) stayed with me, I’m mates with her too. When he started to visit again he wouldn’t always let me know when he was coming and going from the flat and could be messy. He was like this when he lived with me but it had gotten worse. Sometimes when I told him I was coming back for lunch, he’d be in the living room, mess everywhere, room full of vape smoke trying to have a sleep and giving me looks whenever I was making noise making my lunch. It got to the point where I felt uncomfortable not knowing the comings and goings of my flat, I didn’t know what to expect when I got home, it felt like I couldn’t relax and he wasn’t changing. He called me strict and unfair and I said if he couldn’t respect it then he wasn’t welcome to stay anymore. I felt bad because his girlfriend was paying me rent for the seasonal period and was a great housemate, she said he understood the situation.He then paid for a hotel a couple of times when he next came to visit to see his girlfriend. He messaged me a couple of weeks later changing his tune because he wanted to stay at the flat again. He’d paid £50 towards the outstanding rent as a peace offering, he said he’d try to improve. I stood my ground and said I needed more time. His girlfriend’s colleagues ended up banding together to pay for a hotel room for them, at like £40, for new years so they could spend it together as he said he couldn’t keep visiting her because it was costing too much.AITA for making my friend pay for a hotel because I didn’t want him staying at my flat? As a side note, its recently turned out that he’d been having sex his baby mother a few times throughout the last year. When I tried to confront him about the lying and cheating he’s just kept bringing up instead how horrible I was over Christmas. That he’s made mistakes but I’m the bad guy because I wouldn’t let him stay with his girlfriend in the flat and that friends just wouldn’t do what I did…**Edit: The girlfriend knows about the cheating, the baby mother found her online and that’s how we found out about what he’d been doing, the girlfriend is currently choosing to stay with him. It’s hard to stay supportive with her.**",AITA for making my friend pay for a hotel because I didn’t want him staying at my flat?,NTA
10tt6ug,"So for background there is me (20m), my father (40m), my mother (39fm) and then my little brother (13m) we all live in a apartment togetherAs a kid my mom and I were quite close and we developed a tight-knit relationship due to her manipulating me to think my father is a scumbag (They are still together). She has turned my way of thinking into watching my dad to ensure he doesn't fuck up or upset her or hit her (he never has). So ever since I was a kid I've been severely mentally manipulated by her but during my late teens I started to understand get the full perspective My father was not abusive nor a asshole or a fuck up he was a supporting father who worked long hours to care for his sons and family. So since my father continues to work long hours to support our rent you would think my mother would support him with that endeavor like cleaning our making sure everything is looking good or maybe even relieving some pressure and also putting in hours  but not really, no. At maximum my mother works 10 hours a week cashiering whilst my father works around 100 hours a week cleaning and serving foodwhich is insane. Now I work around 40 hours a week in a very busy kitchen space which is quite stressful and is heavy handed at times. My father and I pay the bills and groceries,, I pay my extra bills as well plus my food and mother buys useless items to decorate the apartment. So that's some background to kind of understand our situation. Recently my mother has been just sitting on the couch gaming constantly with my little brother. Nothing around the house is clean she contributes nothing to the rent and all she does is complain about how the house looks and about gaming and how things need to be done, mind you my father and I are the main targets of this ""get shit done"" ordering around. I decided to speak up about her behavior and she immediately redirected it towards me and my little brother and her decided to harass me off the gaming console and constantly scream at me in my face about how it's none of my business. I just left the house to get some air but AITA for outing my mom and speaking up to get it together, I mean I understand I need to move out still as I'm saving up for a car but I'm also helping my dad with all the bills and whatnot whilst my mother and brother are antagonizing him/us.",AITA for outing my mother on her laziness?,NTA
10tpg8b,"My fiancé (30sM) and I (30sF) are getting married soon. We’re keeping it extremely low-key, basically one step above just going to the courthouse to do it. We’re doing that for a few reasons, the most important being 1) I have never wanted a big wedding and we both don’t want to spend the money on one (we’d be funding it), and 2) my mother is recovering from a stroke and suffering from some other neurological issues and we don’t want to overwhelm her.So for these reasons and more, we’re getting married very close to my family and keeping it to immediate family only. If we opened it up to extended family, the size of the whole thing would immediately quadruple, and we are literally just planning on doing the ‘ceremony’ in the back yard of an Airbnb so it hardly seems worth it for them to fly all the way out for (and we’d also suddenly have to coordinate hotels, a venue, catering, etc — all the things we’re trying to avoid). We’re going to plan a reception a few months later in his family’s home state and invite all of his extended family to that. That’ll give them and us a chance to celebrate together without them having to travel out of state. Many of them are elderly and wouldn’t be able to travel easily. However, there’s one exception to the immediate family only rule. We want to invite my fiancé’s godmother, who’s also his aunt, to the wedding ceremony. They’re extremely close and I think it would feel like we’re missing something by not having her there. Also, I think we kind of already disappointed his mom a bit by having such a small ceremony because my fiancé‘s extended family is pretty close and I feel like I’m depriving them of seeing their beloved nephew get married. This aunt is his mom’s sister—she is very close to my fiancé’s mom and never had kids of her own so my fiancé is basically like a son to her too. Would we be assholes for inviting her, given she’s the godmother? He was thinking of sending an email to the rest of the family explaining the situation (immediate family + god parents - he would invite his godfather too if he was still alive) and that we’ll celebrate with them in their home state later in the year. I don’t want the rest of the family to be offended that this one aunt is going while they’re not invited, and I know at least one aunt will indeed be offended. Would she be right to be offended? Is this an asshole move?",WIBTA for inviting one aunt to my wedding but excluding any other extended family?,NTA
10td7v6,"On the way to the beer store I called the Wife and asked how many six packs I should buy for the night. The conclusion is that we should get 2x  six packs - In her words ""We'll split one, and save the other for tomorrow"" . I then bought them and when I got home put one in the fridge and one on the counter (I like them cold and she does not) and brought us over one beer each. Later she gets up to bring us another one each and is irritated that we are not indeed sharing a six pack. I explain that we can have 3 each out of the respective packs and have the same amount left over for tomorrow as per the plan. With the sole exception that I get cold ones, and she gets warm ones. Apparently I am wrong because somehow 2x(1/2) a six pack Does not equal 1x six pack. Is this not equivalent? Is she justified for flying off the handle at this or am I the asshole?",AITA The missus and I had a disagreement about Beer,NTA
10tq4ck,"I (22F) am graduating university this May. I'll be moving to another part of my country for a postgrad program in September. My current university is 3 hours away from my dad's (50M) house. I have spent the last two summers in my university town, one working and one doing a summer semester. This was partially because my family can be quite dramatic, and for mental health reasons I prefer to have some space, but they don't know that. Dad didn't approve of the summer semester, and felt I should be working full time.For the summer months, I was planning on continuing to work my part time job at a local small business while splitting rent for a small apartment with my partner (21M). The schedule there is flexible enough that I could take time off to go find apartments in my new city, and I could resign whenever I wanted to do the move instead of being stuck with a set completion date. Also, at this point my partner and I are still waiting to hear back from postgrad programs, and if it turns out we need to do long distance during the school year I would like to spend time with him during the summer. However, yesterday my manager told me that the business will be closing in the near future, so I need a new plan.I told this to my father, and lamented that this meant I have to find a full time summer job either at home or in my university town. He suggested that I just plan on coming home and working part time at a restaurant or grocery store, as (in his words) ""you could have a part time job tomorrow, they're all desperate"". The thing is, the last summer I was home, I tried to apply for these part time jobs and almost never heard back. It was only once I got an interview somewhere that I knew why: employers were deterred from hiring me knowing that I would be leaving soon to go back to school. I experienced the same thing last summer as I looked for part time work while I took my summer term, and was even passed over once for the job I currently have. So, I told him that I couldn't rely on that, as nobody wants to hire a student who can only commit for three months. This made my father surprisingly upset. He started ranting that I have an extremely poor attitude, I was making poor financial decisions, and that the reason nobody was hiring me is because I was being so negative and letting my mind get in the way. I tried to explain my previous experiences, how I felt I would have better luck getting a full time seasonal position, and that I would still apply for part time things, but he just said he can't talk to me like this and that he can't beat my mind. This, on top of finding out I was losing my job, was incredibly overwhelming. I vented to my partner when I got home, and he says I just shouldn't have told Dad because he only wants me to live at home. But is my attitude really that bad? Reddit, AITA for thinking I probably won't be hired for a standard part time job?",AITA for saying nobody wants to hire a student who can only commit for three months?,NTA
10towj6,"One of my [M] closest friends [M] just got engaged. We haven't known each other for too long in the scheme of things (~12 years) but we have been through a lot together. We shared a lot about life and how we view things. One of those discussions centered around marriage. His parents are divorced, mine are separated but not officially divorced. We're both anti-establishment in some ways and could not understand why two people can't be together forever without going through this process we call marriage -- both the official aspect of why the government needs to get involved in granting permission, and also the social aspect of why you need to put on this show. It's not like the bride and groom get to spend time with their guests much. I always hated going to weddings anyway and decided I'm not going to any more for the rest of my life. I shared this viewpoint with him (and pretty much everyone else in my life) and made it clear that there would be no exceptions. This was years and years ago. The last wedding I went to was around 2011 and now that I think about it, it was before I met him. I have not been to a single wedding since becoming friends with him.He started dating this girl about three years ago and got immediately smitten. She wants kids. If staying together with her means having kids, then he's going to have kids. Both of their families are very religious and conservative (GA and AL families) so having a child without being married is simply not acceptable. They are independent adults but there's the reality of appeasing the families. Therefore, they are now engaged as of last month. They're going to try to fast track the wedding so that they can get going on conception ASAP.My friend did not directly ask me but he did try to indirectly float the idea of me attending his wedding. I shut it down right away. Don't get me wrong, I do support them being together. After three years I think I can say I know his fiance fairly well now, and they make a great couple, would make great parents, and I do sincerely wish that they would stay together forever. In many ways, she is the best thing that happened to my friend. It simply is that I absolutely hate attending weddings. He then said how her closest friends will be in the party and it would mean a lot to him and also for her for me to be in his party. I responded by saying it would mean a lot to me to not do any of that. He then asked if I would just attend as a guest. I shut that down too.We haven't spoken about it since. I do have this sense that as their wedding planning kicks into gear, it's going to come up again. And I will refuse again. At this point I would feel like he's being unreasonable disrespecting my wishes I clearly indicated before he even knew this girl existed. AITA?edit: there are reasons I dislike weddings beyond my personal disapproval of it. it takes more than just a couple hours especially if the wedding is happening in a different state (in this case TN and I'm in NV), there are too many people and it dials up my social anxiety to 11. as for the 12 years thing, I said that because there are people I have known for much longer (going back to elementary school so that's like 30 years) and I didn't go to their weddings either but we still hang.",AITA for refusing to go to a friend's wedding?,YTA
10tr633,"I (18F) and my best friend (17F) have been friends for almost a year now.  We are almost like platonic soulmates and know everything about each other.  We are basically the same person, but aren't.  I am a lesbian/nonbinary, she is a straight female who has her fair share of female crushes.  She is also dating her boyfriend (17M).  I'm gonna name them ""Hannah"" and ""Ryan"".  Not using real names.Hannah and Ryan have been dating for almost 1 year and 2 months.  I never truly liked Ryan because I didn't know him well, but I also liked him because he made Hannah happy.  But not in a good way.  They haven't kissed and just now started going on dates and holding hands.  I get going slow, but Hannah wants more from Ryan.They were both raised in strict, religious households, but Ryan doesn't have any social media and doesn't even have permission to watch youtube.  Hannah is allowed social media, her parents are just semi-strict religious parents.But it feels like every month there was a problem they had.  And just now, Ryan is starting to pick up things she's been hinting for a YEAR.I get both ways, but I keep telling Hannah that I don't think Ryan wants a relationship.  She's had to push him for anything and he doesn't even have a good relationship he's seen to try and be a boyfriend to Hannah.Ryan has hid things from her that she had to hear from Ryan's mother.  Ryan is an AP kid who is focused on school and college and a job.  He barely has time for her.  I think Hannah is being disrespected.I understand where they're both coming from because they've both talked to me about their lives.I am becoming distant from Hannah because I believe she's being treated unfair.  I tried to warn her, but I don't want to se her get hurt and I don't want to continue to be a friend towards someone.Also, I was in a relationship and it was EXACTLY like Hannah and Ryan's.  Hannah had her opinions about mine and I gladly got out of my toxic relationship.  But now I see Hannah and Ryan's becoming my old ones, but don't want to tell her to break up because this is her first relationship.AITA for being distant from her and not trying to be her friend or is their any solutions I can make?​ALSO, I've talked to her, she just says ""I don't want to leave him, I'll become depressed""  I just don't want to see her hurt.​EDIT: i wanna make this quick edit.  I forgot to add.  Hannah and I were super close, but when she started dating Ryan she completely pushed me away.  And then when things got rough, came back to ME only in times to text me about how he did something and how she wanted to break up with him.  I told her to break up with him and that I thought he was toxic.  Not only did I say it, but 10 OTHER PEOPLE told her.  But she says he's just ""not used to relationships"".  She only hung out with me when she wanted to complain about him.  I don't think its toxic, I now toxic, I just think them together is toxic because he doesn't care about her and when we try and tell her to leave him and I will be there for her when she does, but she won't because she doesn't want to be sad even though she's sad now.  I've tried being there for her, I just have my own school and mental things and want a friend who wants to be friends with me, not just complain to me and when I try to help tells me I'm wrong.  And also says everyone else is wrong as well.​Another edit: sorry, i'm truly trying to find peace between my friend and i.  i want to add i just want her to be happy, but she knows ryan doesn't like her. a text from 6 months ago, she texted her saying ""i don't want to be in  relationship, i'm focused on school.""  and they had a big fight.  ryan barely notices her and doesn't even text her.  when she tried to bring something up to her, he ignored her for a week then sent a ""good morning"" text a week later.i am STILL with my friend and should've put ""WIBTA"" not ""AITA"", i just want to know how to fix this because we are kids and i just want to graduate with no drama.  her grades are falling and i just want her to be happy.  she was never there for me, so i tried being their for her and tried to make ryan look good, but some friends have evidence that he isn't the best.  i don't just ""wanna be her friend again"" i want my friend who was happy and cheerful back, not someone who rants to me, ask for help then when i try to help like ""text him about this"" she says he wont listen.  i only just now started sharing the ""maybe it's time to talk to him about important things and what you two want"", but other friends have tried too or tried to talk to both of them.  she continues to text him even though he ghost her.  i try to invite her places to get her mind off of it, but she says she's waiting for ryan.  i usually leave it alone, but i can't PUSH her to hang out with our friends.i'm not really trying to figure out if someone is an AH, it just sort of helps me figure this out.",AITA For Being Distant Towards My Friend?,YTA
10uipyr,"I (NB24) commented on a fic that while I love darkfic and while I respected the sufficient warning and while it was technically well written, it seemed needlessly cruel without an actual purpose or theme for the reader to interpret, and that I didn't get the point of the story, and that it missed the mark entirely. I said it fell flat and that I was really disappointed, because I love the author's other works.The writer called me an asshole for making uncalled-for comments. I think that what I said wasn't rude, just blunt. I don't know how to explain to someone that they did a terrible job without it being an insult, and I think the poor reaction was just because the writer didn't want to hear their fic wasn't good. There wasn't any malice or insults in the comment. Just because something is phrased in a rude way, that doesn't mean it isn't true or doesn't have valid criticism. Hate is of course not OK but it seems that every encapsulation of I Don't Like This is seen as innately negative and rude and I don't get it.Fandom is supposed to be welcoming, but the inability to leave honest comments is a form of censorship; it's ableism to police comments as only being allowed when written in an NT manner. I think there needs to be more leeway for people who can't express themselves in a stereotypical, NT customer-service rep way. I think everyone should be more lenient when interpreting comments on their works -  why frame everything that isn't literally coddling, overprotective, and humoring as hate? Not being able to leave honest comments is actively exclusive of people who struggle with tone and I don't think ND people should have to learn to fix ourselves to be accepted.The author didn't even address any of the valid points I made, just yelled at me for saying it in the wrong way instead of coddling their feelings. My friends agree with me that they were ableist for being rude to me and not being accepting of my struggle with tone, but they deleted my comment. Am I really an asshole for wanting writers to be a little more reasonable and tolerant of the tonal quality of comments on fics?",AITA for leaving feedback on a fic?,YTA
10tr021,"25M, youngest of 4 siblings.Grew up in a mildly toxic background where parents divorced, a lot of interpersonal drama between my mother and relatives/partners (we were thrown out by my mother's former partner in the middle of the night several times and technically homeless for short periods), mother having regular outbursts about hating her life and taking it out on me or whoever was around. Relationship with two of my siblings have been contentious growing up. My older sister especially has an attitude problem. At 18 sought to live with my dad as I was tired of my mother breaking down her  relationships and causing homelessness. I was studying at college and couldn't get peace at home as my mother had emotional outbursts at her partner because she didn't get her way.Managed to move and had a few years getting to know my dad. Was more stable and was able to focus on securing a job and saving money. Relationship with dad was ok, was emotionally dismissive when I was down but I told myself to suck it up.End of 2020 my dad sold his house to my sister and her family to live with his girlfriend. I was allowed to stay and continue paying board. I forgotten about my poor relationship with my sister and sadly was sorely reminded. I did what I could for her as she was a mother to a daughter. I was happy to share chores, unfortunately it was never to her standard. Even at 30 her attitude never improved and could not take responsibility for her wrongdoing. She several times tried unlocking and opening bathroom door from outside as I was on the toilet. I tell her I am on toliet and proceeds to get stroppy and mopey over telling her not to open the door despite being in a three toilet home. I try setting up boundaries and get treated like I am rude for just briefly saying ""Toilet"" before she tried to come in. All the little things on her behaviour accelerated my desire to move out and I am now living alone. I avoid my family as to be honest I experienced nothing but misery with them. Half of it was self-affliction on their parts.I am hesitant about finding a partner myself as to be honest I feel damaged and at a point where I perhaps cannot handle even a healthy relationship. I believe emotions have been weaponised within my family to manipulate each other into obligation and don't want to play the game anymore.Just want to be left alone.",AITA for wanting little to do with family,NTA
10tmwze,"Long term long distance best friend, C. I see C maybe three times a decade and the last time I saw them was pre covid. They have two partners who they have been with for several years. Neither myself nor my partner have ever met either of these partners. 
My fiance and I drew up two invitation lists ages ago, one with 30 people on it in case of covid restrictions (C was on this list), and one with about 120 people (including both of C’s partners).
Once we found a venue and decided a budget, we had to finalise a list of 90 people. We decided that unless we know somebody well and consider them one of our friends, we wouldn’t invite them. 
So all the partners we didn’t know well came off, including some people we HAVE met. We knew that this is against wedding etiquette but it just didn’t feel right to spend £100 per head on people we don’t know at the expense of our loved ones. 
I had assumed that people would understand that this was about money, and not a personal thing, so we didn’t consider telling people in advance. In all cases other than C, this assumption has proved correct; no one else has mentioned there being a problem. 
I also assumed that C would be more offended by having one partner picked than neither, and we definitely couldn’t afford to invite both. 
Invitations arrived this week. One of my other bridesmaids, N, got hers first. N’s partner is our videographer so he is on the invitation but he isn’t quite a guest. N posted a pic of her invite in the group chat. C must have seen this and assumed that partners were invited. 
The next day I had a message from C asking for clarification if either of their partners were invited. I explained that we would love to have had them there, but that we couldn’t afford it and that it was just a blanket rule. 
C is very upset with me. They said that they felt humiliated not having either partner invited and that I put them in a horrible position when they opened their invite in front of their partners and then had to explain why neither of them were on it. 
C has also pointed out that they are disabled and that this should have been considered. We have made sure to choose fully accessible venues. As far as I know, C does not use a wheelchair and they are largely independent, but I should still have discussed this with them. 
I have done my best to explain, and I have apologised profusely for the fact that I didn’t mention it in advance. C has said that they don’t want to fight and we are having a productive conversation. C has said that choosing one partner to bring wouldn’t have been a problem and that I should have just asked them about it. 
I know I’m stupid for not just talking about it beforehand. I’m willing to change my mind and invite one or both of them to fix this. But I just need some thoughts on whether I was wrong for the decision not to invite them? Is this all on me or is C at fault too for their own assumption?",AITA for not inviting either of my bridesperson’s partners to my wedding?,YTA
10tyyp4,"I (24 f) had made prior plans with someone for the weekend to study. On the day of, another friend (24 f)  invited me to have lunch. Without looking at the commute time, I said okay. After checking the commute, I realized that I would waste almost 2 hours of my day which seemed a lot. I let my same friend know as we were planning for it that it would be far for me and I have work. I gave her other options to meet another day, next weekend or even in the evening after I am done with some work. She straight up told me “don’t come, I am very irritated”. I apologized for not being able to make things work. Called her. She did not pick up and basically won’t talk to me. Am I the asshole in this?",AITA for canceling plans because of work?,YTA
10tjt4h,"For context: I am NB20 & My cousin is M13. We grew up close when he was a baby, he is on the autism spectrum but is high functioning. He was adopted by my grandmother when he was a baby, and she used to watch me and some of the older cousins when we where kids.So, recently I got a switch for Christmas and ever since my cousin has wanted to play video games with me. Minecraft, Pokémon, etc. Whenever I have time I try to play video games with him because I love the little dude, he’s like a little brother more then a little cousin. However; I work full time, go to online school part time, and still try to hangout and spend time with my friends. It’s a struggle for sure, especially when my only days off are Saturday & Sunday. I work 9 to 5 & 12 to 5/8/9 shifts depending on when my manager’s schedule me. So I haven’t been able to really play video games with him, but when I do have some time I end up playing with my friends when he’s not on. Where I think I am the A-Hole is that for the past few days he’s been trying to play games. However; I am either really tired when I get off work or I am already online playing with friends when he gets on. I get up to 5 or 6 missed calls from him every time. My phone is always on silent when I play so I never hear them. He’s been very frustrated and I just don’t know what I am supposed to do. I am hoping that today after I run some errands that I’ll be able to play video games with him, but he his just super upset. My grandmother texted me this morning saying that he didn’t even go do anything fun because “we made plans” to play video games and he thinks I am ignoring him. There where no plans, I said ‘I’ll try to play games with you tomorrow if I am able to when you get on’. I feel bad that he didn’t do anything because he was waiting for me to get on. That’s why I feel a little bit like the A-Hole. So, I am I the A-Hole for not playing video games with my little cousin?",AITA for not playing video games with my younger cousin?,NTA
10smvaa,"My (29F) family has always shown favouritism towards my younger sister and brother’s partners. They treat them like family but don't hide their dislike of the partners I've had. Recently my family have been planning a trip to korea this summer. We will be visiting my grandmother’s hometown as well as visiting other areas.The problem comes with the fact that both my sister’s (22F) boyfriend (23F) and my brother’s (26M) boyfriend (24M) have been invited to join us, however they haven't extended that invitation to my boyfriend (29M). When I brought this up my mother told me it's because he's not a long term partner. Which I call bullshit on, yes my siblings have been with their partners longer (sister 4 years, brother 5 years) but I've still been with my bf for just over a year.Personally I think it's a race thing. My sister’s bf is also Korean and my brother’s bf is Thai, while my bf is white. My family denies this and my grandmother says it's because he's disrespectful. The thing is he isn't, me and my siblings are all second generation immigrants and I just never took much interest in Korean culture, they however became obsessed with it at a young age. I just didn't engage much. Since it's not that important to me I never told my bf about any customs or what is and isn't appropriate to them. He's kind and nice to them, its just that he's not Korean or even Asian.I kept pushing to bring him and I kept being told no, so I said that if he isn't coming then I'm not either. Which very much hurt my family, family is important to them. I've had some time to cool off and I feel bad for hurting my family but i proud of myself for standing my ground, but I'm conflicted, so AITA?",AITA for refusing to come with my family on vacation if my bf isn't invited?,YTA
10to29a,"The most important piece of context you need for this story is that I (19M) am an animation student. I saved up to get a graphics tablet and my own pc, and it's proved an invaluable asset in my time at uni. Without this setup, to get any of my work done, I'd need to take a 30 minute bus ride down to my campus, and hope and pray that the animation suite wasn't booked out for a lecture - they don't publish that information online. I'm only on campus three days a week - going more would add an extra £14 to my weekly costs, which when I have medication and software subscriptions to pay for, isn't exactly ideal. In addition, I take commissions, some of which are of the uh.. *naughty variety*, which would *really* awkward to work on in a busy classroom setting. In short, working on my own PC saves me money and time and is more comfortable as a whole.  My friends and I applied to live in uni halls again next year, as most good private accoms had been snatched up already. Only two of us have gotten our accomodation offers so far, and although we were placed together, I had a huge issue with the *desk*, which was attached to the wall in the corner of the already small room, making it a triangle shape that I knew on immediate glance would *not* fit my monitor, keyboard and graphics tablet. This was an absolute dealbreaker in my eyes.I, on impulse, asked the accomodation team if I could move to the first type of room I requested, which was the same as my current uni room - even if that meant not living with my selected people. My other friend who also recieved a room offer agreed that it wasn't ideal and sympathised with my decision to request another room. I'm yet to recieve a response because it's the weekend, but I'm beginning to think that this may have been an asshole move. My boyfriend and I have only been together for four months, and he wanted to live in the same flat as me. I agreed to this, but upon reflection, I'm not quite ready to *fully* live with him. I'm introverted, and I've never been in a relationship before, and I think putting a bit of space between us is something I need right now. It's a very ""it's not him, it's me"" type of situation. We'll still be in the same student village, it'll be a 2 minute walk to see him at the *most*. He has yet to recieve his room offer, so there's no guarantee he's even in the same building yet.  We had talks about that being a possibility, as we applied rather late, and he said he didn't mind as long as we were closer than we currently were. I love him and I'd love being closer to him, but my social battery runs dry very quickly.TLDR: I requested to change rooms as I felt the small desk in the room wouldn't fit all my animation equipment on it. This will likely result in me not living in the same building as my boyfriend. Am I the asshole for prioritising how efficiently I'm able to do my uni coursework, over living in the same flat as my boyfriend of four months?",AITA for requesting a uni dorm change over a desk - even if it means not being in the same building as my boyfriend?,NTA
10tmvwx,"So I (19/F) am a trainer at a theme park, and sometimes I am scheduled as a “Trainer On Duty” which I basically go around the park and make sure that everyone knows what to do. Especially the new employees. Fast forward to the end of my day, I am supposed to write a recap of my day and send the email to every trainer, supervisor, and manager on my team. So this is my first doing this recap and to be fair, they never said how they wanted us to write our recaps. I’ve taken a look at other trainer recaps and they are very minimal in terms of explaining what they did that day. So I decided that I wanted to write a descriptive and clean email that should be easy to read but did take a bit of time to write. I didn’t think too much of it but short after I sent my email, one of our managers replies to my email saying that I did a “fantastic job” and that “all trainers should follow my format.” The next day, I have trainers complaining to me that what I did was too extra and so we come to here. AITA?",AITA for writing an extended recap email that set a new standard for my team?,NTA
10tpznk,"I can only ask you guys to understand my point of view.I live in an apartment complex so you can imagine I see quite a fair share of cats, I just pet them and move on but 6 months ago is when I took in my cat Pamaela,she was very skittish and frail, infested with flees to the point that her skin was bleeding from the scabs on her body. No collar, no chip, no pictures on missing websites.Although she didn’t get along with my other cat(sadly had to put him down on thanksgiving ) they learned to be cordial and she opened up,I’ve never met a cat as affectionate and loving ,she genuinely won’t sleep unless laying on top of me.I was taking my dog on a walk and this guy stopped me started a conversation, he owns this kitten that frequently follows me and I told him I also have a cat. I send him a picture and apparently it’s his sisters? Crazy coincidence , he then without asking tells me to babysit the cat for the next month until she comes to get it and I have been on delivered for two days so I’m assuming one day out the blue he’s just going to ask for her back. I don’t know what to do because I love her and I have mixed feelings1. Why did she never go back home ?it’s a thought in the back of every cat moms mind if their kitty is coming home and they eventually do, my baby who got put down would always wait on the steps for me 2. Pam has attacked their other kitten before ( a kitten he told me wasn’t there’s and that they found ) 3.as an owner it’s ur responsibility to make sure ur pet has some type of collar or chip in case of a situation like this 4. Why was she in that condition.  5. If I heard my cat was found I don’t care if I’m across the country I’d come immediately to be with my baby not leave her with a stranger for another month.  Again just want to hear other people’s feelings on this or if I’m just overreacting",AITA for not wanting to return my cat?,NTA
10tops3,"My hubby&I have been friends with “Mac” for almost a 10yrs. We have always been there when he needs us, first long-term gf broke up with him, a good friend of his died, divorce etc. He has barely spoken to us since he got a new gf. He confided in us a lot during the divorce&in a moment of defending him, I think I said something I shouldn’t have. I don’t remember saying anything but it’s possible. His exes family would make up outrageous lies about him&it would fire me up, I could’ve said something I shouldn’t have but it was in a genuine manner. Not in a “talking crap” way. That being said, he has barely spoken to us since he got a new gf, it always like that. He’s only friends with us on his terms. Which is when he doesn’t have a woman in his life. (Before incident)Mac&hubby went deep sea fishing when our baby was 4m so we decided to take a trip together. It was HORRIBLE! They barely spoke to us. We would try to talk to them at dinner & his gf would ignore us&whisper in mac’s ear. I had to leave to work for a couple hours&instead of staying&going to the beach with them, my husband&baby went w/ me bc of how dinner went. Since then he hasn’t spoken to us much. But when he was single he was at our house EVERYDAY to hang out. Called/text both of us, individually, if the other didn’t respond. We truly didn’t mind.My husband had dinner with Mac&he told him that he had been avoiding us because of something I had said. Said that he knew I didn’t mean to hurt him&whatever I said was definitely genuinely meant, not derogatory. Husband told me. I tried to call 3x, text him w/ no response. Finally after a week he sent me a long message saying he forgave me for his & my hubbys friendship sake, that I shouldn’t have called 3x,&that if I wanted to speak to him, it needed to be in a group message with him, his gf&my husband. That it made him uncomfortable&that if it didn’t upset my husband that’s fine but he wanted to do it that way. (For background he would always text me privately, not in a group and call me if my husband didn’t answer&text me to talk about the divorce&see if we all could hang out.) &that my message “hope you can make it to our daughters party!”&happy holiday texts only saying “you” purposely left his gf out. I copy & pasted the same text to him&multiple people (headcount for party). It wasn’t purposely done to exclude anyone. My husband will read my texts, I’ll read his. NBD.Well it pissed my hubby off bad he doesn’t want to speak to him bc he knows if Mac&his gf broke up that he would be blowing our phones up. My hubby feels like our 10yrs of friendship warranted Mac to talk to me about it&find out if I said anything (he doesn’t trust the gf didn’t make it up or something. It’s obvious she doesn’t like us)&us talk it out. I know I definitely could’ve said something&I genuinely apologized. I’ll admit IATH. But, are we in the wrong for feeling like we’re all friends when it’s on mac’s terms/when it’s convenient for him?",WIBTA for being upset?,NTA
10tpuvf,My roommate is quiet for the most part but ever since she moved in I haven’t been getting much sleep. She slams doors and has loud sex which wakes me up. I have asked her on two separate occasions to keep the volume down and to not slam doors. It stopped but only for that day. Her bf now lives with us too which makes me uncomfortable. I’m thinking about reporting her to the shirt. I just want some sleep. Ps we live in the barracks,AITA for potentially reporting roommate,NTA
10tneci,"Sorry in advance. On mobile and it's a long one.I(30sF) am the only child of my parents. My dad has some kids from his first marriage, but I'm my mom's only child. Parents got divorced when I was 10. Lived with my mom, but they had joint custody and my father was very active in my upbringing.I grew up in a small town in Texas. My gma(mom's mom) lived in the same town, and my mom's siblings lived nearby. I spent a lot of time with gma growing up since I was left alone a lot with both parents at work. Despite their proximity, I was never close to this side of the family and preferred holidays with my dad. Mom and gma are very... attention seeking? Everything has to be the best, it's all about appearances, I was raised to be seen not heard and to be the perfect accessory.Fast forward to me being 18. I apply to out of state colleges since my relationship with mother was rocky at best and I wanted to get away. Load up my car and Dad drives me to the East Coast. I come home regularly for breaks, but spend more time with my father because mom doesn't like that I've ""left her all alone"" and I was over her childish behavior. Started going LC with her, as she berated me constantly on my life ""choices""(I'm a big gay), as well as coming to terms with the emotional abuse I grew up thinking was normal parenting.Right after Thanksgiving break one year, my mom has a massive stroke. I drop out of college to care for her, since I had power of attorney at the time. Her family visited once the first month she was in the hospital- the night she got admitted. My dad's family(keep in mind they've been divorced 10 years at this time)rallied around me and we would stay with her in shifts, they helped me with paperwork and getting her into good rehab spots.About the time my mother is becoming more alert, gma convinced mom to give gma power of attorney, essentially ruining all the work I did with paperwork, etc. Gma blows through my mom's insurance money on herself then sticks my mom in a nursing home to rot with no rehab, nothing. At this time I decide to go NC with mom, gma, and the rest of them. Gma is verbally and emotionally abusive to me and mom, and mom just spits out whatever gma says back to me. So for my own mental health I more or less wiped my hands clean of the entire situation. Gma finally died late last year. That side of the family reached out- power of attorney went to my uncle, mom's younger brother. But they're worried about his health and what would happen if he died... I told them that wasn't my problem. My dad's family has brought up over the years that I should reconnect with my mom, but I have zero interest in doing so. But now, with gmas passing, I have been thinking about it a lot. I'm her only child... would I be an asshole if I never reconnected with her?",AITA for not reconnecting with my mom?,NTA
10svd3d,"I was at a heavy metal gig with a group of friends last night, in a medium sized venue. I was lucky enough to be right at the front. Now, as you might be aware, right at the front of the stage is not the place in the venue with the most space. People weren't exactly crammed in, but were definitely close together. Now, me and my friends were closer to one side of the stage rather than the middle, and there was some more space closer to the wall but not where we were standing.So anyway, there was a woman who decided that this was a great location to headbang. She had hair down past her shpulders, and was bent over, properly giving it her all. She was right behind me, and kept headbutting me and hitting me with her hair - she was also hitting other people in front of her with her hair but continued to headbang. Because of how closely the crowd was standing together, I was unable to move further away from her and since I had a spot at the front, I didn't want to move back. I think it's worth mentioning that nobody else was headbanging like this, because there just was not space. Everybody was vigorously nodding - and this one woman bent over at 90 degrees headbanging.I had had enough of this after the first 10 minutes but I waited until the band had finished because I didn't want to be a total arse and talk to her while the band was playing (a 1 hour set) to ask her to please not headbang like that when standing in such a crowded area and that she clearly had no consideration for the people standing near ber, because she would be able to tell that she was hitting them. She got really angry, and said I wasn't entitled to speak on behalf of the other people in the vicinity. The people in the vicinity agreed with me that being headbutted by her wasn't really fun for them.The woman stormed off, clearly in a huff. My friends were split on it, some saying that she was being inconsiderate and others saying that obviously there would be headbanging at a heavy metal gig.So what is the verdict? I'll take my judgement.TLDR: AITA for asking a woman to stop headbanging at a metal gig because she was headbutting me?NB: There were no mosh pits allowed in this venue, and I would guess the woman was about 40, if that matters. This was the during the opening band of 3 bands and I didn't want 3 more hours of being headbutted.",AITA for asking a woman to stop headbanging at a concert?,NTA
10udfmv,"I(19 y/o) was just watching YouTube on my TV, and thevideos I watched were anime texting stories, mostly MHA(My Hero Academia). Most of them are funny, to be honest,(anime lovers, if you're reading this, have you watched anyanime texting stories on yt? If so let me know).Anyway, my mom came in asking me for help with somethingand I obliged, then while she was fixing some laundry while Iwas listening to my videos on tv. Out of the blue, she told me""it's not good to watch those kinds of videos"" in our nativelanguage (Filipino). Il immediately reacted to her answer andtold her, to not poke her nose in other's business, and she saidthat she was ""asking"" when it was more of a statement thana question, and told her that she's gonna go quiet as if shedidn't do anything. Then she left the room.I know I'm being a bit sensitive here but here's whyWhat makes it more flattering is that she asked me aboutwhat I was watching on ty, I told her it was a texting story ofmy favourite anime I'm watching is more of a skit. I CLEARLYtold her this 2 times on different days she asked me this, butwhat makes it even more surprising, is that she told me thatstatement right now (even though I'm sure she's aware of theanswer that I gave her) she said that statement saying ""it's notgood to watch what I was watching"" when I was just watchinga funny texting story. I told her to come over to discuss it, butwhat I heard from her is that she was trying to change it thatshe was ""only questioning and that it was just a question""which angers me even more to the point I'm yelling at her andarguing with her, and she's trying to break it up to evade thethe situation, when I told her that, that statement is offending me because first off, she asked me 2 times about what I'm watching and gave her my clear answer 2 times as well.The fact that it was almost our bedtime when this happened,so it was pretty clear she was trying to break up the situationto leave already, and she apologised.Now I was still frustrated after she left, and I did something to calm down my senses, and out of the blue, my sister (23) warned me menacingly next room...so now..she's trying to warn me in an angry tone to not do that when I did it to calm down, am I supposed to like what? She's not even a part of the argument but she's tryingto provoke as if that would do something, (keep in mind,my relationship with my sister is really not good at all, likea grudge-related kind of not good.  I wouldn't want to describe the any further cuz it's not pleasant, plus I don't want to add any harsh words to not get my post removed) She provoked me first, by doing something while I was in a heated discussion with my mom.Please do not misunderstand as me being sensitive over this,Cuz believe me when I say I'm really surprised when l gavemy mom the really clear answer back then, before this allhappened (I'm now much more calm while typing this wholething down)(edit: about the 2nd explanation, what I meant by ""clear"" was she was aware of what I was watching, despite I'm pretty sure  I told her my answers 2 times a few days back)With all this on, AITA??","AITA for reacting to my mom after telling me""it's not good to watch anime text story videos I'm watching on YT?",YTA
10sr5xw,"Due to a successful house sale, I made enough money to buy a house to rent and one to live in. Despite this luck, I am not rich, but for once I am not worried about my bills. My mom has always been poor (as such, I grew up in it) because she is bad with money. She wanted out of her living situation with 3 roomates, so I decided to rent her my rental. I made it clear that this was a normal rental tenant situation, she wouldn't get a deal or whatever, because I need the rent money to make the rest of my finances work. I should have known, her budgeting habits did not change and she fell behind on her rent. After the third consecutive month of paying nothing, I sent her an eviction notice. She ignored that, and I got legal authorities involved and had her escorted out.I have 5 brothers, they've all shunned me. All of my aunt and uncles do nothing but talk crap about me and make out stupid falsehoods about me. My mom treats me like I have no heart. I am an outcast in my family because ""I only love money.""Did I handle this wrong? AITA?",AITA for evicting my mom from my house?,NTA
10teo5i,"I was at a friend's house with some others for a party and we were playing truth or dare. I only knew one person, and everyone else was their friend. My friend (let's give them a name: Alissa) started first, saying 'Is it true you don't brush your teeth? Cuz my my it is as yellow as the sun!' too a poor girl who already took a lot of persuasion to even be there in the first place.Alissa started laughing at the girl who's cheeks turned cherry red. I then told her to stop being rude, and she said that she's a sadist and she can't help it. I personally believe that she tends to take stuff too far and doesn't notice when others actually feel hurt.She told me that I was being a 'party pooper' and ruining all the fun. I tried to comfort the girl that was literally crying Niagara Falls, but then I got kicked out.Am I the asshole?",AITA For telling someone to stop being rude?,NTA
10topa0,"I (13f) am writing this because while i don’t really think i did anything wrong, my friend, ill call her A is really mad at me. This is definitely the most teenage problem ever but, A refuses to tell me her crush. She talks about them constantly to only me and no one else and I try not to ask who it is because i know that gets annoying. A says multiple times that the only person that knows is her other friend, L. Shes known L for maybe four months, but has known me for around 2-3 years. Back to the fact that A talks about her crush constantly to only me and never around anybody else, whenever she does it kind of hurts my feelings, because I don’t know it and I feel like A doesn’t trust me enough to know it. Heres the thing, A is always the first person I tell whenever I have a crush, and she knows this. Anyways, two days ago, A texts me and asks if snapchat has like profile view or something. I said i dont know, and A said good, bc im about to stalk his account. I finally ask, can you tell me who it is and she says no why would i and so I just ask her to stop constantly telling me about him if shes not going to tell me who it is. She left me on read and hasn’t responded to a single message I sent to her since then, shes talked in a groupchat shes in with me, but openly ignores me in it. I know A is made at me about the crush thing and I dont know what to do because if shes upset me, i know she tell all her friends about it and theyll hate me and then I wont have anywhere to sit at lunch or talk to at school. Also of course because she is my best friendSorry if this is hard to read or understand, im not the best at explaining things!! Ill try to update what happens?",AITA for being “rude” to my best friend?,NTA
10tm6sy,"My mom asked me if I could give her uncle some money because he is poor and her plan was both of us having a share into whatever how much she will give to him and I said no.Her reasoning was he took care of me as a baby and helped her a couple of times financially when she was in a couple of tight spots.My reason for saying no is because I, myself don’t make that much money, and I’m struggling to have some sort of savings by the end of the month. I also don’t know this person on a personal level aside from me knowing him as my relative and hearing occasional stories about him. I have never spoken to him ever since I was a child and I guess now as an adult aside from the typical “Merry Christmas” messages on Facebook.Mom gets upset when I said no and said I should give back to others who have helped me and I should stop being so selfish and greedy, so AITA?",AITA for not wanting to give my mom’s uncle money?,NTA
10tn3d0,"I (18F) have three school friends who I'll call K, N and W. For some backstory I had a pretty bad childhood (I'm not going to go into details here but you can find the full length details on the subreddit 'r/offmychest' under 'I am going to abandon all of my friendships because they deserve better'. I'm suffering from lots of mental illnesses, and I'm not going to lie my days now are just drained from happiness because of exams, but I still try my best to be the best friend I could and be there for them. However, I don't know if this is a disorder, but I suffer from regulating my emotions. I hardly feel anything for anyone nor anyone apart from my family, and honestly I'm finding myself slowly loose emotions for them as well.Now onto the problem,A few days ago, while K, N and I were talking, and I was informed that N did some sort of betrayal, and I know it's not my place so I kept quiet and joked it of by telling N that what she did wasn't right but left it as that. I wasn't rude, nor was I mean, but N was upset and said that she doesn't like the fact that I told her that I don't like her, nor do I consider her a friend.I was shocked, because a few days into a friendship I explained to them that I have this thing where I am uncapable of feeling emotions, and that I don't consider anyone my friend because to me it feels unfair to call someone a friend when I don't feel anything for them, but I did explain that I do enjoy their company and enjoy talking and hanging out with them. All three of them understood.I have always been a supporitive and caring friend, so I was a bit confused and explained to N once more that she shouldn't take it personally because I'm like that with everyone. I even pointed at K and K had no problem because she understood perfectly about my lack of emotions, and that because of my lack of emotions, it's hard for me to genuinely like someone. And while defending myself I listed out two other friends whom are irrelevant for this story, including W.Now here's the part where everything went downhill, N calmed down and we were back to normal, but a friend of W was there and heard that I stated that I don't like W and I don't consider her a friend. I did say that, but it was out of context, if W's friend was paying attention he'd know that I was listing off the people I struggle to genuinely like and that W is just on the list.In the end W and I are on good terms, but now I feel like an asshole because maybe if I had just shut my mouth instead of explaining myself, maybe this could have been avoided?Also sorry if this is too confusing, I'll gladly answer any of your questions! <3",AITA for tell my friend I don't like her?,NTA
10trg8w,"This feels like the craziest situation to me and now I just don’t know what’s right anymore.In November I got two pure bred Bengal cats. Say what you will about animal breeding, I’m deathly allergic to cats, had tried to foster and couldn’t, had to buy less allergic. I’ve literally wanted cats my whole life. Anyway, that’s not the point.Two months ago the breeder ghosted me because I didn’t tag her in my Instagram profile… like “bred by xxx”.She never asked, it wasn’t in the contract, I follow LOTS of animals and almost no one has this in their profile. I tagged her in almost all of my posts and referred 8 people to her in the first month, but then she ghosted me anyway.Now I posted something today talking about how people don’t give follows as much anymore because the algorithm is too good.She commented on my post, for the first time in two months, and said “I’m not sure a follow makes sense all the time. I do think giving others credit for their contribution to your content is a MUST. Period.”I’ve read it with a few friends and I’m pretty sure she’s implying that since she bred the cats she has continuously contributed to my content? I’ve had them three months now and work with them 8+ hours a day to have the cats I have.I’ve been pretty certain I was in the right but now I’m like.. am I an AH or is she nuts? Help!",AITA for not tagging my cat breeder in my IG profile?,NTA
10sy5qz,"I just lost my aunt and uncle whom I was close to. The current plan is for there not to be a funeral but a memorial in a few weeks' time. My wife had tendon surgery 2 1/2 weeks ago and still can't do much around the house so I have been doing all of it when I am home. Pretty much all of my emotional and mental energy has been going into caring for her, the house, work, and supporting her. She gets some help during the day while I'm at work from her sister who comes to sit with her since she can work from anywhere with her work laptop. I've been happy to do this for my wife. It's just that when I got the news the other day not even an hour after my wife was asking what I was making for dinner and started talking about her surgery again and I did my best to be there for her, and take care of her and me. She knows I was close to this aunt and uncle so I took a couple of bereavement days and she kept saying stuff like ""I really need you right now."" and ""It's so hard seeing you sad like this I don't like it."" I told her we really need to support each other right now and asked for support and patience. Her sister came over and asked why I was so mopey. I informed her about my aunt and uncle and she told me to pull it together for my wife who is still recovering from surgery. I packed a bag and told my wife if she isn't going to give me some support and let her sister talk like that to me, then I'd be going to a hotel for a few days to give myself space to grieve as I need. That was last night, I'm still at the hotel but my wife and her sister are calling me constantly and leaving messages that I'm being selfish, and that I can grieve during the memorial with my family. AITA for going to a hotel to grieve?",AITA for going to a hotel to grieve in peace away from my family?,NTA
10t8ip7,"I have been sending money to my mother and my sister (26yo) for the past 7 seven years since I moved out and of my country of origin, Venezuela. Now that I have settled in the new country I am trying to make a life of my own. I am currently pregnant and I just got myself a car as I just learned how to drive as I couldn’t afford it before. I am also taking part time studies so I can grow further in my current workplace which they are paying for half of my career as part of the benefits they offer. My mother and my sister don’t work as they say is hard to find reliable transport and it is more expensive to go to work than actually working. I also have to send extra money for any other family member almost every month because they are struggling and “need a hand”, the money in total I send every month is about 20% of my monthly wage. I have spoken to my mom and said I don’t want to help anymore because it has become a burden where I have to pick up extra shifts in order to keep supporting them. When I told my mom I will only supply 2 months more so they have time to find a viable way of living she was ok at first but on the same day I have the rest of my family calling me out as selfish and that they will not be able to make it without my help. Am I the a**hole?",AITA for stop maintaining my family?,NTA
10suiyn,"I've been putting a tray of snacks - personal size bags of chips, cookies, crackers, etc. - out in my cubicle so that my coworkers can come by if they feel peckish. It's been successful for over a year now, with many people coming by to grab something and sometimes staying to chat for a minutes.An important note here is that I buy these snacks with my own money and don't ask for payment or snack donations. While a few frequent visitors will bring a party pack on occasion to contribute to the tray, mots people do not and I am okay with that.Enter coworker (of equal level) John, who visits almost every day and has not yet contributed (but again, it's not expected). Recently John brought up his favorite snack - a specific type of flavored pretzel - and how he wished I had them on the tray. At first I thought he was kidding around, making small talk, or even throwing out a real suggestion; though, the snacks are difficult to find and pricier than I'm willing to go for communal snacks. Over the last few weeks, John ramped it up and has mentioned those pretzels a majority of the time he has stopped by. While I never gave an indication I would try and get them, I also never clearly rejected the idea - maybe I should have?Finally, John came in and gave what I perceived as a serious, non-joking complaint about the lack of pretzels (keep in mind he does this while eating the snacks I put out for free to which he has never contributed). I boiled over a bit and told him that if he wanted the pretzels, he should bring them himself for the tray or pay me to go get them. I tried to maintain a smile and pass it as half joking, but I admittedly said it a bit sternly and, while he didn't say anything, he seemed uncomfortable after.AITA for getting upset with a coworker who pestered me about the selection of free snacks I was putting out?",AITA for scolding a coworker?,NTA
10tni3l,Sorry about my ADHD writing. I have wrote this over and over and get more angry every time.My biological father left me when I was a young child and I have not seen him since. When I last saw him he was an alcoholic and a drug addict. I am 21 now and am in a bit of a tight situation. I was injured on a job and currently can’t work so I am on welfare and employment insurance so I am in need of financial help. He has recently been adding me on social media and he texted me happy birthday last year for the first time. I recently learned that he has 4 more children that are younger then me with different mothers. He is the scum of the earth and I hate that he is my blood. I don’t know his financial situation. I want him to know that I am struggling and see if he can or is willing to help. He has never paid child support for me once so I don’t know if he can financially can help. I want him to take responsibility. He was never there for me. If he won’t be here for me now then I will never have a relationship with him and I just hope he has insurance when he dies.AITA if I ask him for support after 16 years of not seeing or talking to him? I don’t think I want a relationship with him. I want his financial support.,AITA if I ask my biological father for support after him being absent my whole life?,NTA
10tnbdh,"I (22M) have a 9 year old brother who is very into sports including tournament baseball, and church league basketball. For the past 2 years I have lived in my own apartment about an hour away from home, but this august I moved back in with my parents after college. Over the last few years I have tried to make it to as many games as I can, but I cannot be there sometimes because I have already made plans. Recently, I have started a full time job working 84 hours a week and his basketball games take place every Saturday morning. I try to make the ones that I can, but when I don’t come because I am tired or busy, my family shames me and says that I do not have my “priorities straight”. I do the best that I can, and I do make it to a majority of the games. However, any time I miss something that’s going on with him my parents send me passive aggressive text messages trying to make me feel guilty. This has been going on the entire time that I’ve been in college, and now that I am back home, it’s gotten even worse. My parents relationship with each other has been terrible, and I honestly think they’re taking their frustrations with each other out on me. Any advice for my situation? Am I in the wrong?",AITA for missing my little brothers sporting event?,NTA
10st683,"My husband (30m), we’ll call him Nick, and I(26f) are currently pregnant with our first child. While making the baby registry, I was adding a bunch of classic(imo) books from childhood. For example: Rainbow fish, goodnight moon, I’ll love you forever, the very hungry caterpillar etc. They were just books that i thought most everyone from the USA knew as they were popular during my childhood. Nick said he had never heard of any of them, which I thought was crazyThis morning MIL called us at 9am(we were still in bed) asking if we would be offended if she continued to buy our baby girl clothes and stuff when she shops. MIL tends to overthink and has a lot of anxiety in general(diagnosed) and was asking because she sent me a picture of a sweater she bought(which not that it matters but it was a 6-9month boys sweater light blue with trucks on it. We’ll still have our daughter wear it) I had responded by saying “that is cute! I’m excited for all the baby clothes look what I bought” and showing her an outfit that I just purchased. She got anxious that since I didn’t say anything else about the sweater that I wasn’t okay with her buying things or had an issue with that sweater in particular. That’s why she called. We reassured her she’s good. She told me to keep buying the cute girly outfits and she’ll buy the outdoor play outfitsNick brought up how we made a registry and she asked me to send it to her mentioning that FIL might help with some big things and she’s excited about the small things. That’s when I mentioned the books. I told her that I put all the classic childhood books on there and was surprised that Nick didn’t know any of them and that we’re definitely going to buy themMIL instantly got offended saying not to believe “Nicks crap about how he didn’t have a good childhood” because of course she read him books but they played outside more and how I can ask anyone in the family and they’ll confirm that she was the best mom. She went on for a few minutes and in my opinion there were plenty of moments where she gave Nick an opening to just say yeah I did have a good childhood, and the whole thing would have ended right there. I was quiet and he didn’t say a thing and she hung up sounding like she was crying. As soon as she hung up I texted her saying Nick and I realize the only reason I remember the books is that I have more siblings so the books were in my house for close to 15 years whereas he’s an only child She sent Nick a text asking if he really thinks he had a bad childhood and how she did her best. Nick got mad at me saying I never should have brought it up and look what I’ve done. How I turned him into the bad guy just because he told the truth. I feel like he could’ve stopped it by just saying “no I don’t think I had a bad childhood” at any point but he thinks it’s my fault knowing how his mom gets anxious. MIL and I have had a great relationship up until this point but now her and her son both aren’t speaking to me. AITA",AITA for telling my MIL her son doesn’t know common baby books?,NTA
10tn9t5,"I (17 female) and my parents have always been very close. I appreciate everything they do for me, as I would have nothing without them. I am a hard worker. My parents made me get a job when I was 14 and I have been working ever since to pay my bills such as my cellphone, and car insurance. I've always paid for my clothes, hygiene, makeup, shampoo, and any other products/things I needed or wanted. My parents gift me things here and there, which I am very thankful for, but if I want something nice I need to get it myself. I just got a new phone for Christmas this year, and when I say it was a Christmas present from my parents, I mean they went to the store and bought it with my money. I make payments on this phone every month but it is in my Dad's name.Recently, I have been stressing over what I want to do after school, this has made me on edge giving me a short temper. I have been trying to distance myself from others and just stay in my own space. My parents called me out for my ""rude"" behaviour and it made me upset because they never try to understand how I feel or what I am going through. One day I snapped at my dad for commenting on my motivation and he took my car and my phone away. I understood why I got my stuff taken away, but it's always frustrating when the stuff that I pay for gets taken away, especially on the account that I was standing up for myself.My phone was taken away for roughly a week, and when the week was over my parents let me know that my phone is not going to have any social media apps or ""extra apps"" on it anymore and I will only be able to use it to text and call. This made me very upset, but instead of yelling I just didn't talk to them. My mom called me out on it and said I shouldn't be mad because it's my ""attitude"" that got my privileges away, not them. I have always had restrictions on my phone, but I think this has gone way too far. I am gonna be 18 soon and am not going to be able to use the phone that I pay for in the way I want to. I hate it when my parents and I fight but I'm not about to apologize for being upset over something valid to be upset over. So am I the asshole?",AITA for getting mad at my parents for taking my phone away,NTA
10tgku7,"My (22f) birthday happens to be on february 14th. I hated it since childhood as I was bullied for it being specifically on Valentine's day. Since the age of 10 or 11 I always wished that people would just leave me alone that day and pretend nothing happened, just like a normal day. Never asked or waited for presents or organised a party, it just never was important for me.Yet every single time my family would literally drag me to celebrate with them, throwing literal tantrums when I said I wanted the day to be ignored. It's almost a tradition that every year about a week before the date my fam asks me how I want to celebrate, I say I don't and then we fight for about four hours and I leave defeated. They never agreed to let it pass in peace.I understand that when I was a minor it could've been a way to show their care for their child, they used to say ""adults are always right"". But now that I'm an adult myself and moved out long time ago, they keep insisting I come and invite my friends. All that with a little twist: my parents are divorced since I was 8 and each half of the family wants me to celebrate with them specifically.Thankfully my friends have some respect for my wishes so they never mention my birthday. I also have a boyfriend and I would really prefer to just celebrate VD with him as normal people without my family causing a fuss.So what happened is that my father and I had a huge argument last night about this year's celebration. I said I don't think it should even be celebrated or noticed at all because it's my decision, he said it's his celebration too as he's the parent. I got annoyed and suggested that if it's the parents' celebration then why won't he invite his ex-wife and throw a party. He called me an asshole and said that the celebration will happen anyways and I must be there unless I want to ruin my relationship with the entire family.I'm certainly kinda frustrated because of this, these people never listen to me when I tell them to stop and leave me alone. But maybe it's true that I'm the asshole here and I should just play along to not upset him.So AITA for refusing to celebrate my birthday when my family insists I do?",AITA for refusing to celebrate my birthday on Valentine's day?,NTA
10toeuj,"So I have been best friends with T for a decade, and over the years B (all 21F) got into the group. I was always the most active friend, proposing to hang out. B was always ready to hang out, and T was more introvert. However, with covid, T's anxiety got so bad that she was afraid to even meet up just the three of us. I do realise the pandemic got us in different ways.It got so bad that T missed my (small) birthday in 2021, but we still hung out just the two of us the day before so I knew she was trying.Then in 2022 she was basically absent from any hangout with B and me, she would just tell us she didn't feel like it. I tried many times to reach out to her to try and undertand if she had something going on, and she always replied that everything was fine. I tried not to push.Then my birthday in 2022 came up, and as I was organising a small dinner at my place, I obv invited T and B. But then a week before my birthday she texted me telling me she was sorry and she couldn't make it because she didn't feel like being around people. And I replied that I couldn't force her of course, but I was quite sad that she would miss it and I wouldn't lie to her. She replied that she understood completely (but she didn't even propose to hang out just the two of us). I was always the one initiating a conversation, so I decided to wait for her to text me first. For some reason neither B texted her but we kept hanging out.And after some months of silence, T texted B asking if she was mad at her, which B replied that no, she was not mad and neither was I. She even told T to contact me since I would be happy about it (which is true). Still no text.So I texted her how I thougt she would text me first but she proved she didn't really care about our friendship. I do believe I was quite diplomatic (subjective ofc). She replied with some harsh things, telling me I was a manipulator and that at the time she was going through a tough patch and didn't want for me to know about it because apparently I spill everyone's business around. I felt so guilty at first so I asked her to tell me the times I've behaved in that way (to understand and be better), but her reply was that ""I haven't done it, but still I would do it"" -- so I realised it that was just a mean thing to say to me.She then accused me and B to form an alliance in order to outcast her and not inviting her to hang out anymore, for which I replied that we have never behaved in a way to hurt her, but of course if she isolates herself and we have just supported her behaviour, she has nobody else to blame but herself. If she was struggling (and I believe she was) she could have reached us and tell us, because we cannot read minds. And also I was reaching ut to her at the time, trying to understand what was going on with her. At the end I wished her a good life.So, AITA?English is not my first language",AITA for not texting back my bff?,NTA
10tmpiv,"so ive got 2 friends: friend A (F19), and friend B (F21) (im M18). whenever the three for us hang out in a voice chat, theyll always talk amongst themselves, and leave me out of their conversations. i try and contribute, but theyre always talking about something i have no idea about. i used to ask things like ""oh, what does that mean?"" or ""ohh, what's that?"" yknow? just trying to contribute as one does, but they leave me out so often, so now im just tired of it.ive straight up just left because they act like im not even there. i always get a ""we're so sorry"" in response whenever i explain to them why i left, but theyll just go ahead and do it again anyways. their apologies are meaningless now.most of the time theyll just flip the tables on me whenever i tell them they keep leaving me out of conversations. theyll say things like ""it's not our fault that u have nothing to contribute"" or ""just talk. it's easy"". im an introvert. it's really not so easy. they never take accountability for anything and will always try and blame everything on me, like im always the problem.im starting to feel a bit envious/jealous now, because while theyre getting closer to eachother as friends, im staying in the same spot (relationship wise) with both of them.AITA for feeling jealous/envious of their conversations/leaving VC whenever i feel left out?",AITA for being jealous of my friends conversations?,NTA
10trzeq,"TLDR boyfriend who throws a fit if I don’t get his birthday perfect didn’t get me a birthday present this year, so I want to request money for the value of the last birthday gift I got himMy boyfriend of 3.5 years did not get me a birthday present this year. It has been over a month. I don’t really ask for a lot, as anything with thought will make me happy. But then my birthday came and went this year, and I got nothing from him. He was originally going to get me a ticket to an event, but we ended up not being able to go. This was known before my birthday happened, so he definitely had time to come up with a backup gift or choose from a list of things I didn’t get for Christmas. It has now been a month, and still nothing. Yes, it bothers me after being together for a few years and normally exchanging gifts for our birthdays, but it especially bothers me because he has had full meltdowns when I don’t get things for his birthday perfect and on the exact day.He claims he hates his birthday, but expects everyone around him to make it special. Two years ago he had a meltdown and physically stopped me from going to work because his present didn’t arrive in the morning (shipping delay that was not my fault and the package was still coming later that day), and that I didn’t read his mind that he suddenly was no longer interested in the restaurant I made reservations at. So for his last birthday I got him a $75 present that I knew he would love and made sure it arrived before the day. Of course I finally made him happy. But now for whatever reason he decided to not get me any present for my birthday when his first plan didn’t work out, and now he’s ignored me for the past month every time I’ve mentioned it to him how it bothers me.So should I request $75 from him (value of his last birthday gift) and just get my own present a month later?",WIBTA if I sent a money request to my bf for not getting me a present,ESH
10skypn,"I (22f) got a lower back tattoo when I was 18. Ill be honest and tell you straight up that its pretty trashy, buy it made me feel sexy at the time so I got it. I dont normally cover it up because i dont really give a fuck what strangers think but i do normally keep it covered up around family. Im from Australia, since its summer here Ive been at my parents place a lot because they have a pool. My most recent visit my aunt, uncle and little cousins were over wanting to use the pool. I love my little cousins so i was pretty excited to play the cool big cousin and have some fun in the pool.Since I was already in the pool when they got there I was already in my bikini so obviously my tattoo was showing. My aunt saw it and freaked the fuck out yelling at me to cover up my ""tramp stamp"". I refused and she kept yelling.After refusing for the 5th time my aunt just packed up her kids stuff and left. I feel like a total asshole now since the kids didnt get to play in the pool after an hour drive and had to go straight back with another hour drive in this terrible heat. AITA?Edit: the tattoo from one of my comments so people dont need to go through the comments ""is mostly just butterflies and in the middle in small cursive it says ""this side up"". The writing is small enough that you wont be able to read it unless your right behind me.""","AITA for not covering up my ""tramp stamp""",NTA
10se2cp,"I'll get straight to the issueI'm getting married in about two months. We're having a pretty intimate wedding in terms of number of guests, so outside of married/engaged couples only people we know have a long term SO received a +1.""Ella"" is my half sister, she has a LD bf who's coming to visit. All well and good, but he'll be here the week of my wedding. She asked for a +1 to bring him, but I said that's not possible because we've already confirmed catering and everything, and I don't really know him that well. Ella tried saying I gave my friends +1s, but they've been in actual relationships for a couple of years, and they'll be hurt if I don't give them +1s. I said sorry, but this is our decision and I don't want other people getting upset, and other relatives asking why they couldn't bring their bf/gf of the month/week/day.She's now saying she won't be attending because it's disrespectful to her relationship and she wants to spend time with him before he leaves.I said she's being extremely selfish and acting like she's the only person who didn't receive a +1.This is causing issues between me and Ella, so AITA?",AITA for not giving my sister a +1 to my wedding and telling her she's being selfish?,YTA
10re8db,"I (M24) have been dating my girlfriend (F23) for about five months. Every other month, my grandmother hosts a large family dinner with all my close relatives. She encouraged me to invite my girlfriend over for the dinner yesterday. For some context, my entire family and I are black, and my girlfriend is from a white Anglo-Saxon Protestant family.I was at the dinner yesterday, and I went to go hang out with my niece, (F7) who I'm very fond of, and the rest of the kids to play Monopoly. My girlfriend tagged along.My niece was counting the play money to pass out to everyone, and one of the other kids said something about how he wanted to be rich and get all the 500 dollar bills. My niece, out of nowhere, blurted out that she couldn't be rich because she's an n-word. I was totally taken aback, and asked her who told her that. Apparently, some bully at school said that to her on career day when they were sharing dream jobs, and she said she wanted to be a rich president.I told her that that wasn't true at all, and hugged her, and she started crying. Then, my girlfriend jumped in, and told my niece that it's really important to forgive the boy who said that because he probably wasn't trying to be mean and was just confused. I was totally shocked, and told her she needs to stop trying to justify what happened. She then tried to hush me, and started baby-talking my niece and said that she should also try to be nicer to all the kids at school, because ""kindness goes both ways."" I was totally livid at this point, and pulled my girlfriend aside and quietly but angrily told her she ""needs to learn when to shut the fuck up."" She started getting riled up at me and started rambling about how statistics are on her side (idk what the hell she meant, I wasn't really processing what she was saying,) but I told her to get out of my grandma's home, and just leave already (she drove me here in her car, and I was planning to hitch a ride home with my brother.)This morning, I got multiple calls from my girlfriend's sisters calling me an abusive and shitty prick. I know my words were harsh, but I thought my girlfriend was talking in a disgusting manner to my niece. AITA?",AITA for telling my girlfriend that she needs to learn when to shut the fuck up?,NTA
10qxv7b,"I (F33) lost my husband very unexpectedly 7 years ago. We knew each other from a very young age and married when we graduated college. I have known his family for almost my entire life and they are the closest I have to actual family (my own family situation has always been difficult ). I became very close with his parents in particular (I will still call my ""in laws"" in this post) and we supported each other heavily through the grief process. We didn't have children before he passed, but we were trying. I still miss my husband every day.I began slowly dating again 4 years ago - mostly casual dates and nothing serious. In laws were broadly supportive. I told them I was ready to date and they said OK, but didn't want to know the details. I only ever spoke about my dating life vaguely and infrequently to them.Around the same time, I got a big promotion and began to spend a couple months a year in Paris for work (pandemic permitting). Then 1 year ago, I met Armand (M38) and started my first serious relationship since being widowed. Given Armand lives in Paris, our relationship is based there and while we have travelled quite a lot together, we haven't been to the US together yet. He hasn't met my in laws, but I have told them I am dating someone.Around Christmas, we found out I was pregnant. This was a total surprise as we weren't trying. We have since decided that I will move to France permanently instead of splitting my time between the US and France, so that we can raise a family together. It isn't really possible for Armand to move to the US - he works in the art industry and his studio and backers are all Europe based.I told my in laws and they were deeply upset. They said I was depriving them of their only opportunity to have a grandchild (my husband was an only child). They then accused me of moving on too quickly and not loving my husband. In the end, we had a huge argument and they have demanded that I leave all my husband's belongings from our apartment (his clothes, personal effects, etc) to them when I move to Paris. They also demanded my engagement ring, which is a family heirloom. They said they should have these because while I have moved on, he will never stop being their son.I said no, these things are all treasured memories from my life with him that I never want to forget. They have threatened legal action to recover the ring in particular. I'm not sure they have a proper legal right. But I can see the hurt I'm causing them with my choices and maybe giving them what they ask for, they will be able to have closure. AITA for continuing to refuse?​**EDIT 1. In response to comments:*** After the funeral, I already gave many of my husband's possessions to my in laws. What I kept were some clothes that reminded me of happy times, things with his handwriting on it, memories from trips, etc. I want to keep these. It's not like I will be lugging a huge amount of things to Paris. I don't think it's unreasonable that I keep these. They're memories WE made, not with his parents.* The ring is trickier... but it is the biggest reminder to me of the relationship we once had. It really breaks my heart to give it away.**EDIT 2.** Wow, I really didn't expect to wake up and see so many comments. Thank you all who shared their thoughts. A few clarificatory points in response to messages I've received (both posts below and DMs):* A poster below pointed out it was worth clarifying that I don't have a separate wedding band. We couldn't find one we liked and which matched the ring, so my engagement ring is also my wedding band, which my husband put on my finger in the church.* I really don't want to lose the relationship with my in laws. They have always been so kind to me (before this all happened) - for example, I've been spending every major holiday like Christmas, etc, with them for the past decade. But neither do I want to bend to their unreasonable behaviour. Moving to France and going completely silent isn't an option, I do want to repair the relationship in the long term. Ultimately, I'd love them to visit us. * The argument happened over the phone as I have been in Paris since we found out about the pregnancy and I didn't want to delay telling them the news. I am due to fly back for a month or so to get my affairs in order soon. I intend to meet them in person then, if they agree.* A few posters were concerned about what Armand thinks, which is very kind of them. Armand and I have a strong relationship and he has known about my husband since the beginning. He respects that I want to keep a piece of the marriage with me and has encouraged me to bring anything I want over to help with the transition. We are also not engaged, nor do I expect to be in the immediate future, and I'm in no rush on that front. We're comfortable as we are.* Finally, there were some concerns over if I use the ring. I do wear the ring frequently and it's the only ring I wear with any regularity. Someone also suggested that I might need to sell the ring in the future for the benefit of my new family. Without going into detail, both Armand and I earn more than enough for this to never be a necessity or an option.",AITA for not giving my late husband's belongings to my in laws?,NTA
10v5jrh,"My ex and I have a 10 years old daughter. I wasn't ready to be a parent when she got pregnant so I suggested either she gets an abortion or she can keep the baby and I will pay child support but I won't be involved in her life. She wanted to keep so that's what we did.About a year ago I started to regret my choice and decided to contact my ex and ask to see my daughter. It went really well. She is just the sweetest kid. I started by visiting sometimes but she wanted to see me more so her mom agreed to let her. We slowly made it more and now I have her her every other week.The rules in my home and in her mom's home are very different and it has made her to act up a bit when she is with her momFor example her mom expects her to do her homework first before she does anything else, I expect her to have all her homework done by the time we want to sleep. I don't care when she does it as long as it's done.Now my ex is calling me an asshole and saying I'm making things harder for her and I need to follow her rules",AITA for not following her rules?,YTA
10v6dbd,"My husband has a daughter with another woman who was conceived during a time when our relationship was open. We only found out about her when my stepdaughter was 3 and her mother has been a headache to deal with from the start. She’s even gone so far as to encourage my stepdaughter to behave badly whenever she’s at ours.We have her one weekend a month but my husband was going to be away on a business trip when she was supposed to be with us. I decided it would be for the best if my stepdaughter stayed with her mother instead of with me while my husband was gone for several reasons. Her behaviour is a lot worse whenever my husband isn’t around as she doesn’t think she has to listen to me and she’s extremely rude to our nanny. Our oldest and her constantly fight which isn’t something I wanted to deal with. Lastly, her mother has made it clear in the past that she doesn’t want her daughter left alone with me so I thought this was the perfect solution that would keep everybody happy.My husband was fine with it and he informed my stepdaughter’s mother. That Friday, I only asked our nanny to collect my son from school as I assumed her mother would collect her since she would be staying with her. She wasn’t picked up on time and her mother called me furious that we left her there. She tried to make me go and collect her but I refused so now she’s accusing me of trying to isolate her daughter from her siblings, and for being a nasty stepmother. She couldn’t get into contact with my husband so she called his family to try to make me look bad and to force me to take my stepdaughter during my husband’s time with her even though he wasn’t there.AITA?",AITA for not having my stepdaughter picked up while my husband was on a business trip?,NTA
10v6rmr,"A lot of elements here. Please ask for info if needed. My fiance Matthew is constantly telling everyone that I hog the entire bed and that he has all of 6 inches of bed to sleep on every night. Claims he got no sleep because of me. He doesn't say it maliciously but it's become the butt of the joke and gets brought up often. Now the thing is, it's a bold faced lie. I'm an insomniac and during the night I wake up at least 3 times, if not more, and every single time I wake up I'm pushed all the way to the edge of the bed to a point of my legs being half off because he takes up the entirety of the rest of the bed and is right on top of me practically. Countless times I've woken up to his arm over my face, his legs up over me, etc while I'm basically dangling off the bed with no blankets. So not only are his stories a lie but it's the complete opposite of what he tells people. Other element, my fiance hates having his picture taken. Any time I try taking a picture of him he will tell me to stop. We have been together 5 years and we have maybe 3 pictures together. I think his most recent photos on social media are from like 6-7 years ago. He just hates it. It does bother me because I'm the opposite. I take a lot of pictures. Not of myself but if everything else. Places we go, friends, our animals, etc. I love pictures (I'm also a photographer) and I don't post these photos anywhere. They are simply for me to look back at as fond memories. But he hates it either way and I eventually stopped trying to photograph any memory of him because of how bad it pissed him off and having him make me feel stupid about it (him calling me pretentious or ""cliquey"" for taking so many photos). But after he started lying to everyone about the sleeping issues and making out like it was all me and that he's not sleeping, etc, I started taking pictures of him sleeping to show him how untrue this is. Yesterday he made a comment about me sleeping up his ass all night. I knew it was a lie because I had woken up at 3am and he was practically on top of me and I ended up getting out of bed and staying up. So I showed him the pictures I had taken over the course of the week and told him he can stop lying and making out like I'm the problem when it's him. He immediately got pissed and said I violated his privacy and a few pictures don't prove anything. AITA?ETA: I didn't do it as a petty revenge scheme. I did it to prove to him that he is making it all up so he would stop lying to everyone every single time we talk to people because I'm getting tired of being the butt of the joke and it being talked about constantly. I can't even hang out with mutual friends anymore without several of them bringing up the fact that I ""don't let him sleep"". I've brought it up to him several times prior to taking the photos and he always said I was lying and ""clearly didn't know"" my own sleeping patterns and that it's ""just a joke"".",AITA for taking pictures of him while he sleeps?,NTA
10v61ub,"I [26f] am getting married soon and have a brother [25m]My brother takes seasonal work at a large farming operation near here for part of the year. I don't know much about it besides that they do goat breeding and have tons of pigs and chickens.He says he takes it because the pay is more than double of what he would make elsewhere. I try to tell him that there's a reason they have to pay that much, because it ruins your social life and makes you impossible to be around. He seems to think it's worth it  (he's done it 5 years in a row now) but I try to avoid him for that part of the year.Well, our wedding plans happen to fall within that part of the year and honestly the thought of him coming to the wedding reeking and offending the other guests is very embarrassing, so I decided not to invite him.When he found out he was very hurt, and I explained that I felt like I had no choice, I know it's inconvenient but I've tried telling you that that job makes you impossible to invite to things but you don't listen. He said he could have tried to get a week off beforehand, but honestly I think it takes more than a week for the smell to go away, and besides, I knew that they don't really allow much time off during the busy season.He asked if I couldn't have just scheduled the wedding during the time of the year he wouldn't have farm work, but I don't feel like I can (or should have to) plan my life around him, this is what worked for us. But he's pretty upset he didn't get a warning.AITA?tl;dr didn't invite brother to wedding because he stinks, he's upset",AITA for not inviting my brother to my wedding because of his grossness?,YTA
10v6o8a,"I’m 21My mother is 40.Will try and be brief as I don’t have much time.I grew up with just my mother, dad didn’t want anything to do with me.My mums family had kicked her out like two years before I was even born so they weren’t involved, my mother struggled a bit and worked so often that I rarely saw her.She wasn’t a bad mother, she just wasn’t around…like she’d manage to get time off work for school events, if I gave her a weeks notice or she’ll bring me to a club and then she wouldn’t be home that night because she’d have to work a different shift…it felt more like a roommate situation.It got better when she met her husband five years ago, and I’ll admit she pays half my rent and bills as she feels like she owes it to me for not being around, I’m just accepting until I finish university and then hopefully I’ll be able to pay her back.Well, last week she told me she’s pregnant! And out of reflex I pulled a face for the reasons above, but as I said things have changed, and because of her age.She pulled me on it, I apologised and said it was more reflex than anything I actually think…also the fact for the past 13 years she’s said she doesn’t want another childShe said she “needed to think” and I left, we haven’t spoken since.AITA?",AITA for “pulling a face” when my mother told me she’s pregnant,NAH
10v6aol,"So my mum is constantly stealing my perfume bottles. It really upsets me but she has this thing that we are mother and daughter so we should share things.Anyway my husband bought me the Tom Ford Rose Prick perfume a couple years ago and ever since my mum has been using it up whenever she visits me or I go home.So for her birthday I bought her the 100ml bottle (which is over £300). I gave it to her while I was visiting home for her birthday. The last two days before I was leaving to return home I realised I hadn’t seen the perfume on her dresser but I didn’t think anything of it.When I got home I unpacked my suitcase and realised that my bottle (250ml size) was missing. I called my dad (mum would be busy working) and asked him to check if I left it in my room. He messaged back to say he didn’t find any in my room just the one bottle on mum’s dresser in their bedroom and sent me a photo of it to confirm that it was the same perfume I was talking about.I realised that the bottle in the photo was not the 100ml size I got for my mum, but the larger 250ml I had. I messaged mum asking what was going on and she called me back and said that she broke/spilled her bottle so she replaced it with mine and it was fine I could get myself a new one.I snapped and called her a liar and a thief and I haven’t spoken to her since. Dad gets why I’m mad and has offered to pay for a replacement but he wants me to make up with her because he doesn’t like being in the middle of us both being mad at each other",AITA for arguing with my mum over perfume?,NTA
10v6msw,"I (30s) am part of a small group of friends (5 people + me, all same age) that have been spending time together for the better part of 10 years, at first we spent a lot of time together, traveled to each other's towns and celebrated special events.For the past few years I've noticed that I've always gone out of my way to join them in celebrations, help them move, do favors for them and their family, etc. And they do not do the same for me. I've had some pretty big life events that I wished to celebrate with them (catered event and all) and only some of them joined in only because it happened to be on the same day they were in town for x and y reason so they passed by for a little while.Granted, we all live in different states, and as we get older, our own personal lives make it difficult to make these kinds of efforts, but thanks to social media I constantly see them visiting each other (once to the town where I live). some even for plans that I suggested and started planning with them.I've discussed their flakiness and they always say they're going through episodes of depression/anxiety, and have a hard time communicating with people when this happens.Recently I blew up and argued about how their depression/anxiety does not excuse the one sided relationship they take advantage of. Since then, I've not heard from any of them.AITA for throwing their anxiety/depression as their scapegoat for taking advantage of me?",AITA for not wanting to support my friends anymore?,NTA
10v6x78,"My 59 year old mother is a terrible person. She had a horrible life, never got the help she needed and has been horrible to us kids. I truly don't think she knows how to love anyone but herself. My siblings and I are low contact with her but we constantly deal with her lying, manic tantrums, verbal and emotional abuse and gaslighting. I could write a whole separate post about her behavior but lets just say I'll never trust my kids alone with her and being around her myself freaks me out because shes so mentally unstable.  Her own mother convinced her she was to stupid to do anything and was more abusive so she is uneducated, has never held a stable job while also having a spending problem. She has no retirement, no savings, no health insurance, is renting an apartment so she has nothing to her name. She is one accident away from being poor and homeless.She continues to spend money on trips, clothes, gym, etc and thinks parents are entitled to their adult children helping them financially and that's just how it is.She recently told us about some big trip she was planning and I finally told her she needs to get serious about saving because I'm not going to financially support her due to her bad financial decisions. I told her my money is going to give my own children a better life and she needs to get it together. She of course said ""my generation"" is so entitled and terrible because we won't help our parents blah blah. She ended up freaking out, telling me how horrible I am and hasn't talked to me since. AITA?TLDR: My mother has no savings, retirement, or health insurance and I told her I won't be helping her financially.",AITA for telling my boomer mother I wouldn't help her financially when she is old and shes on her own?,NTA
10v6k3f,"I (16f) live with my mom (35f) and two other people. All three of them make good money and we have extremely low rent for our area. I work 12 hours a day 5-6 days a week and don’t attend school so I can focus on saving money. The whole reason I dropped out is so I could spend these years living with my family to saving money for my future without school taking up the whole day. I did the math and I would have well over $100,000 by the time I’m 19. (Including a hefty sum I get from my tribe) I plan of getting my ged or finishing my last two years of high school on line as soon as I get my own place but that won’t be possible unless I save my money now. Recently my mom has been making comments every time I ask for something like food or hygiene products. “You make so much money with that job and not paying rent you think you could afford your own shampoo” this really pisses me off considering I literally DROPPED OUT so that I could save money by living with them now and do school later + I’m literally 16. The past month I’ve been showering every week or so and using as little amount of product as well as eating very little. I know the more money I cost the more likely my mom is going to cut me off financially and expect me to pay rent and shit. So I cost her roughly $20 a month not including bills (I haven’t been using my phone electricity and I’ve been getting water from work and filling up a jug for drinking water) my mom noticed since I look like shit and asked me what’s wrong. I told her “I can’t afford to shower or eat. It’s either suffer now or loose my dreams and I’d much rather suffer now.”I’ve struggled with depression for many years and when I was younger I would rarely shower or eat so I’m used to it. She accused me of trying to manipulate her and guilt tripping her but honestly I just want to save my money dude. I would’ve never mentioned it or brought it up but she asked and I answered truthfully hoping she’d maybe lay off me.  I’ve been avoiding her in hoes that she doesn’t cut me off financially. If she doesn’t idk what I’ll do cuz I’m not willing to give up my dream. I might be the ass cuz I would have just lied to her about it instead of “manipulating “ her into feeling bad Aita?",AITA “manipulating” my mom into buying me necessities?,NTA
10v7uh6,"I, 19 male, had a really rough childhood. I had an incredibly abusive mom and it made me hate the consept of blood families. I hated the fact that I couldn't change or choose who I can consider as my family and had to accept toxic people in my life only because we are related. When I was a teen, I had the chance to go away from my mom and went living with my dad. Since they were divorced for a long time, he has his own family now. He has a wife who has two older kids. She is pretty cool but she puts her own family on a pedestal and sees it as the ultimate form of happiness. I'm pretty sure she sees is as so important that it becomes a little toxic for her. When I mooved in, I told her on multiple occasions that I didn't cared if anything happens to my mom, and she seemed shocked, why ? Because ""she is still your mom and because she is my family, you still have to be respectfull"". And she didn't stopped telling me that I should still give her respect, even if she abuses all of her kids (me and all 3 of my sisters). It has been almost 3 years since I mooved in and even to these days, she still insists that my mom is still my mom and I should respect her. Those comments increased my negative view on families, and it made me even more rude about it. It got so bad that at one point, after my parents told me that no matter what, family is family and i should respect them, I told them that they should stop telling me this because, in the end, family doesn't matter that much for me. This, of course, infuriated my step mom and acted like I insulted her whole family. They keep on and on pressuring me to love with no condition my family despite my past. But the more i think about it, I wonder if it was kind of a shit moove to tell her that family isn't that important, especially if they abuse you. I know she can't understand it because her family is rather good. And I still said it out of stress and anger. Tldr : step mom keeps telling me that i should care about my family no matter what, despite having trauma related to it, and told ther that i give little fucks about it and it made her upset.",AITA for telling my family that I don't see family as a priority in my life ?,NTA
10v7ktk,"  My brother (m 17) has recently been trying to find a job and he was hired for one about 2 days ago and had his 1st day today. However, the pay isn't very good, I believe he said it was £4.81 even though it's the minimum wage for someone his age in the UK. He’s now nagging me to put a good word in for him at my current place.For context, about 4 months ago I got hired at a supermarket that paid well and the pay was above minimum wage. So everyone got paid equally, only it varying if you’ve worked at the store more than 3 years. I work at a branch closest to our home. A month later, he applied for a store assistant position at the same supermarket as me. His application was well done, and I was proud of him for taking a step forward. He was emailed not too long later to come in for a group interview. He was excited and booked the interview for that week.But later I found out that family members cannot work in the same branch from my manager. I told him this and explained he could still work for the supermarket just at a different branch. The 2nd closest branch was just a little further away, but you could still easily get there by bike or bus. For some reason, this information really pissed him off and I tried to get him to calm down. As he continued to rage on about it, he insulted my manager of the branch I work at and the area manager of our town. He screamed that I should move branches so he could work at the one I was at. I explained that was impossible because I was still being trained, but I had also just gotten to know everyone at this branch. I had already settled in. I decided to leave it at that. The day of the group interview comes, and he didn’t go saying he didn’t want to travel to a different branch. I didn’t say anything else other than, he couldn’t apply for the supermarket for another 6 months now.Fast forward to now, I’ve worked for this supermarket for 4 months now and I have no intention on leaving this job or branch for a while. My brother doesn’t like his pay and has been talking about it none stop. He keeps nagging me to put in a good word for him and I keep saying no, explaining he shouldn’t have insulted the people he could have potentially worked for. He says I’m being unfair and that he’s willing to travel to another branch now. But I keep repeating myself saying, you should have been willing 4 months ago. Our dad thinks I’m being harsh, but I think I’m being reasonable. So AITA?",AITA for not wanting to put in a word for my brother?,NTA
10v6rj7,"When I get into arguments, I vent to my friends like any other person does. Yesterday my gf ended up finding out that I was talking shit about her to my friends. She was even more mad about me talking shit about her to my friend Tiffany.I showed her the conversation and she saw some messages where Tiffany and I flirted a few weeks before my gf and I started dating, where I called Tiffany attractive. She got upset but those messages were from before so they don't matter. Now she won't talk to me and called me an asshole for talking shit about her to everyone. I think I have the right to vent to anyone, no matter the gender and I think she's blowing this out of proportion. But my gf thinks I'm in the wrong and said my messages implied that I didn't care if she died. AITA?",AITA for talking shit about her to my friends?,YTA
10v9q3s,"We've got an important family party in 3 weeks, an engagement party for my son's cousin Rachael, 28, who lives in Iowa. We live in SoCal.Anyway, my son wants to go to the wedding in this brightly-coloured crop top from DollsKill and a denim skirt from SHEIN, he said that it's what he likes and he's got a newfound interest in fashion, finds men's fashion dull and boring. I told him no, I'm not buying him a $40+ crop top and $60+ denim skirt and he can't wear that to an engagement party, but he said it's what he feels comfortable in.He's a fan of the models on Dollskill and uses the site as a personal fashion guide.I'm more worried, as a mom, about negative attention and him taking attention away from his cousin.I told my son ""There's a time and a place for everything... but your cousin's engagement party is not it"" and then said we would discuss his newfound interest in fashion at another time.It's a semi-formal party in terms of dress; party with buffet, music, alcohol, soft drinks, soda, hoagies etc.He's a nice guy, but I'm a bit concerned about this.I haven't anything against crossdressing or my son's interest, but do worry that he's chosen the most inopportune occasion to display this flamboyance.I love my son for who he is, but AITA for telling him no, it's not right to wear this at the family party?","AITA for telling my son (16M) ""No, you can't wear that crop top to the family party in 3 weeks""?",NTA
10v84t1,"Over the weekend my extended family got together to celebrate a belated Luna New Year.At one point in the evening one of my cousins (23F) shared that she started seeing someone. Let's call her Paris. Everyone was happy for her seemingly except for another one of our cousins (32F). Let's call her Nicole.Nicole opined that being only 23 and already onto a sixth boyfriend is ""not classy"". Paris snapped back with, ""how many boyfriends should a 23 year old have then?"". I (31M), perhaps regretfully, chimed in, ""zero, just like Nicole."".I thought my comment was fair game, given Nicole's comments about Paris' love life. But, evidently, Nicole didn't see it that way. She tried to throw her plate of food at me, which failed to make the distance, and instead splattered on those nearer to her. Nicole then proceeded to storm off saying, ""you're out of line."".In the moment I just laughed it off.Later it was explained to me that Nicole was just trying to be ""helpful"" towards Paris, and that my comments were unprovoked and unnecessary. I'm not sure how much I agree with that explanation. But I guess I'll let you be the judge of that.AITA?",AITA for making fun of my cousin for never having had a romantic partner?,NTA
10v8lgs,"I’ll keep this short because this just happened.I went out for a quick lunch at a place around the block from my house where you get the food at the counter and then take the tray to your table. This time, when I was about to pay, the screen prompted me to add a 15, 20 or 25% tip which I found ridiculous! So I opted to not tip. That’s when, what I thought was a manager, made a snarky comment about how “if you can’t afford to tip, you should not eat out”. So I asked them to repeat themselves to my face. That’s when they introduced themselves as the owner and repeated but with a smug face “if you can’t afford to tip, don’t go out to eat”. And I replied “if you can’t pay your employees a decent wage, don’t run a business”.They called me an AH, issues a refund and told me to never go back as I was banned from the restaurant.So I’m asking, was I the AH for not tipping at a fast food restaurant?",AITA for refusing to tip and making a comment about it?,NTA
10vaeu8,"I (24 F) got engaged to Derrick (30 M) one month ago. Prior to that, we had known each other for six months. I know that’s not a long time, but when you know, you know. We are madly in love and ready to commit ourselves to each other fully. My sister (26 F) has a problem with that though. She was supportive of my relationship with Derrick before we got engaged. When I sent her a text telling her we were engaged, she responded by saying “congratulations.” But then when I saw her the week after that, she got all serious and said I should strongly consider the marriage. She told me I was young and could meet people I loved more. That was offensive to me because I love Derrick more than anything, and she’s basically saying my love isn’t that important. She also told me that Derrick and I could date for longer before we got married. But we are already fully committed to each other, so we might as well get married and be recognized as soul mates in the eyes of the law. Anyway, the conversation was so hurtful to me. I eventually asked her, very directly, “do you support me marrying Derrick?” She said no. So I stood up, told her she shouldn’t be at the wedding if she didn’t want us to get married, and left. I haven’t talked to her since, although she has texted me multiple times asking to talk. Derrick and I were working on the wedding guest list yesterday, and we both agreed my sister should not come if she doesn’t support us. So we are planning not to invite her. I mentioned this to my friend yesterday, and she pointed out that it may be a little rude of me not to invite her. So, AITA for not inviting my unsupportive sister to my wedding?",AITA for not inviting my unsupportive sister to my wedding?,YTA
10v9bup,"My wife [29F] and I [31M] recently had a baby, and we’re lucky that it’s been a delightful 2 months since. Unfortunately my uncle passed recently. My uncle was instrumental in my upbringing; he looked after me 3 evenings a week for ~10 years old, encouraged the hobby which eventually became my career, and was all around a wonderful man. I felt I had to go to the funeral. It pained me to travel 1000 miles so soon after my child was born, but I talked it through with my wife and we agreed a plan. I flew out the evening before the funeral, and left the evening afterwards. I slept in a hotel that night but woke early and got back by 8am that day. Not wanting to leave my wife unattended, my SIL (who lives about an hour away from us) agreed to take 3 days off from her job and come to help out in the house. As soon as she arrived, she was amazing. She spent time with both of us asking our preferences when it comes to baby care (changing, playtime, nutrition, etc). She then pulled me aside to ask things like where we kept our various cleaning supplies, if my wife has any strong preferences/aversions to cleaning practices, what food we had on hand and what she could go and pick up, etc. I was amazed at her generosity, especially in the haze of a newborn and grief. The funeral happened and I made it back as planned, but SIL had the rest of the day off and chose to spend it helping out further, allowing my wife to rest and me to wallow a bit. All said and done, I couldn’t be more grateful to my SIL. I obviously expressed it in words, but wanted to get her a gift to express my gratitude further. SIL LOVES the Tiffany brand, so I found a bracelet I knew she didn’t have and might like, and asked my wife what she thought. To be clear, I would have paid for this myself, and we’re lucky enough to be able to afford this comfortably. I also buy my wife jewellery fairly regularly - mostly from smaller brands, as that is her explicit preference. She has said multiple times how she doesn’t want ‘big name’ jewellery, even if money was no object. We’ve explicitly mentioned Tiffany in these discussions. My fiancée wasn’t happy, to say the least. She pointed out that I’d never bought her Tiffany jewellery (though as above, we’ve discussed how she’d never want any), and that it was a lot of money for ‘a bit of household help’.I made my point that SIL’s help let me go to an important funeral I otherwise would have missed, provided great assistance for a few days, and that we were lucky enough to easily afford this treat as a token of gratitude. I asked both sides candidly if there were any issues whilst I was away, but neither said that there were. I’m at a loss; I obviously won’t upset my wife, but feel strongly that I’d like to treat SIL for her help. WIBTA if I got her the bracelet? Cash or some other token gift don’t seem quite worthwhile to me.",WIBTA for treating my SIL after she helped us out in an emergency?,NTA
10v8gqv,"My fiancé and I were living close to both of our parents, and moved out of state and now live very close to my fiancés’ sister and maid of honor (“SIL”).  She hasn’t been involved with wedding planning at all, even though she is familiar with the area (my parents live out of state).  My parents booked the venue last year, and are covering the cost of the venue.  A few days ago, I went out to lunch with the SIL and was asking her opinion on center pieces. Her initial opinion was that the centerpiece were overpriced and she wanted to ask her aunt for advice because her aunt just planned 2 weddings in the same area.  The SIL freaked out when I told her the price per person, and said the venue was garbage and my fiancé and I are stupid.  I reminded her that I’ve been trying to involve her, and her opinion would have been useful while we were booking the venue. I reassured her (1) the price was reasonable based on my experience looking at 10+ different venues; and (2) MY parents are paying for it.  I then told her to also ask her aunt about price per head because her aunt has similar amount of people.  She responded by saying “why would I ask my aunt? You don’t even have a house; when my cousins (aunts children)have a house”.  I told her she can’t use that as a baseline because her aunt bought the house for her children (cousins), and we just moved to this new state and are beginning our careers whereas her cousins are well established for many years here and technically don’t own the house because the Aunt owns the house that they live in. The SIL proceeded to call me stupid, materialistic and pretentious for “trying too hard” to be on the same caliber as her cousins and throwing a wedding I can’t afford clearly because I can’t even afford a house. (Technically I can afford a house but am choosing to rent because the housing market is not good and I’d rather wait 1-2 yeas for the market to cool down).I have a close relationship with my mom, who has been putting in so much effort and even flying to my new state to help plan the wedding. I am considering telling my mom because I feel bad that MY parents are paying for his family and guests, and are the only ones putting in any effort helping me plan the wedding. I know my mom will be extremely upset, and I don’t want to “shoot myself in the foot”. I think my SIL has been extremely disrespectful and my fiancés family have not been involved at all - I’d rather just not have a wedding if my fiancés family is going to treat me like this. Some backstory:  the SIL is 32 and single and known to have a big mouth and be rude sometimes. AITA if I tell my mom everything my future SIL has been saying; and consider cancelling the wedding or asking for his family to cover his guests?  This could damage the relationship between my mom and my fiancés family. I feel taken advantage of and am extremely upset, and don’t want my parents to pay for something when his family is treating me like this.",AITA if I tell my mom the nasty stuff my future Sister in-Law said to me about the venue MY parents are paying for?,NTA
10v82lq,"I(f18) have been in a bit of an argument with my brother(16). I have a mediocre relationship with my brother, we don't hate each other and get along quite well, but it does get a bit strained at times. He spends most of his time in his room playing video games and doesn't really help me or my mother around the house often unless asked specifically.This has never been an issue in the past, but about 2 weeks ago I noticed a turd floating in the toilet. We have two toilets, but the other is at the other end of the house and I only really use it when I'm on my period, since my brother says ""He doesn't want my period on the toilet seat"". I flushed it down, not thinking much of it. 3 days later the same thing happened again, a turd floating in the toilet. This time I just politely asked him to flush the toilet properly next time. He told me it mustn't have flushed properly, so I took his word and left the situation alone.4 days later it happened again, this time the water was brown and disgusting, I went to tell him to please flush the toilet properly, a bit more sternly this time. He gave the same excuse again, I insisted and left the situation alone. The next day it happened again, I decided to ask my mother to talk to him about flushing the toilet properly, to which she said that he mustn't have wanted to cause too much noise since it was night.I told her I understood, but I am a heavy sleeper and I also just don't want to have to flush other people's shits down the toilet. She said she would talk to him, but never did.It happened 3 days in a row. I figured enough was enough. I decided to leave a sticky note on the door saying 'Please flush the toilet'. It was almost immediately taken down and obviously flushed down the toilet but my brother. I put one up again to sell the message that I will do it if he keeps on leaving his shit floating in the toilet. He came into my room and yelled at me for leaving sticky notes, to which I said that there wasn't much else I could do. He wasn't listening to me at all and my mother wasn't doing anything. He accused me of treating him like a baby, to which I said that I will continue to treat him like one if he doesn't flush the toilet.My mother told me that I was being condescending and rude to my brother, that I didn't understand. I get that sometimes toilets don't flush properly, but 3 days in a row was ridiculous and I was getting fed up with getting treated by his turds in the toilet and having to flush them down, especially when the water was brown. I don't know though, maybe the notes were condescending. It's been two days since it has happened, but was I overreacting or took it top far? AITA?",AITA for putting up sticky notes in the bathroom for my brother to flush the toilet?,NTA
10v87vt,"i (15f) work started working as a lifeguard at an indoor pool in june (it’s currently february). during the time i’ve worked here i’ve noticed that almost every weekend an older man (i’m guessing like in his 80s) comes in and swims. we can call him jones (fake name). there has been multiple times where jones has come up to not only me but many other female lifeguards (most underaged) and he will grab our guard tubes and shake them then walk away. he has also blown us kisses or stares at us in our bathing suits. at first this made me very uncomfortable because i didn’t know he is special needs. i talked to my manger and because he didn’t physically touch me i couldn’t do anything about it. after talking to my mom i found out he is very well known in our town and she informed me that he does have special needs. so i just let me make me uncomfortable for months because there was nothing i could do. until yesterday when jones saw me and waved so i waved back so i wasn’t being rude. he then blew me a kiss and started to come up to me. jones proceeded to grab my toe, place his hand on my knee then walk away laughing. i told my manger and he told me i could make a report so that’s what i did. i don’t want him kicked out i just want him to stop. but after talking to my mom she said i might get him kicked out and if i did i’m the asshole because he didn’t mean anything by it and doesn’t know better so now i’m not sure. aita?",AITA for possibly getting someone with special needs banned from my job?,NTA
10v9ucm,"My bestfriend has a brachial plexus injury  in her shoulder that affects her entire arm. She can’t move it and it can’t be pulled on. I want her to come with me to a festival this summer and she really wants to go, but is worried about her arm. I told her to wear a bright coloured cast or make a fake one that way everyone just thinks her arm is broken and tries to avoid it. Obviously it’s still a bit riskier for her to be in a mosh pit, but I know that anyone who sees her with a cast will be just a bit more cautious around her. I know atleast I would be.She got mad at me and hasn’t even explained why she is mad. I feel bad because I just wanna have fun together and I’ve seen her disability hold her back from a lot of stuff and I know she does want to go. It’s an annual festival and when I went this year she was so upset that she didn’t, so I wanna make it so she can this year",AITA for telling my bestfriend to wear a fake cast to a concert,YTA
10v8ok1,"( sorry for bad English plus I am on mobile) I was born in Canada but grew up in a Middle Eastern third world country ( both of my parents are middle eastern) . My cousin on the other hand was born in Canada and has lived in the same nice suburban neighbourhood ( her dad/ my uncle is middle eastern but her mom is very European)  I have noticed that my cousin bases her whole personality on being Middle Eastern even though she doesn’t know how to speak and write Arabic. She also doesn’t really understand much of the culture. An incident happened yesterday, my cousin started putting Arabic in her insta bio. I got a bit pissed off because she doesn’t understand Arabic and the Arabic saying she had on her bio was pretty incorrect ( you can tell she just put it through Google translate) I confronted her about all of this. She said she is just as middle eastern as me. I disagreed and told her that she has never visited, lived, or grew up in the Middle East. She doesn’t know what it’s like being afraid for your life. And that she doesn’t understand witnessing her family members recover from the trauma of war. I also told her that when I came back to Canada from the Middle East, I was literally bullied so much for being middle eastern. I was called a terrorist. I was made fun of for my accent. I told her while she is half middle eastern, she shouldn’t base her whole personality on being middle eastern. I told her that I am the one being held at borders and getting profiled by border agents for being middle eastern. I told her that while it’s fine for her to embrace being half middle eastern- she should stop romanticizing it. She ended up crying and telling her mom about all of this. Her mom basically called me an asshole. AITA?",AITA for gatekeeping my culture?,YTA
10v8n12,"BLUF: my mom does anything she can to keep the peace. I’m done with it.. didn’t have enough eggs for all 7 people in my house. So I didn’t make them. My dad was offended. And I apparently was the asshole for not feeding into the people pleasing, enabling behavior So two weeks ago. My parents who live a couple states away flew in to spend the weekend with us. My wife and I have 3 kids. All involved in sports, so it was a busy weekend with my parents getting to be a part of our life, and a part of their grandkids lives. All was going mostly well. My parents spend a lot of times glued to their phones (my oldest said something and my dad was offended).. my parents pushed off some  one on one time with my youngest.. and when the youngest shrugged it off and said whatever my parents were offended that he didn’t seem to care. So, like I said… the weekend was going mostly well. Every morning I had a quick easy grab and go meal, because we had to be out of the house early for sports for one of the three kids. The last morning, was a Monday and a day off school. we were all in the house, with nothing going but we only had 1 pack of bacon and 2 eggs left. It was a busy week, and weekend. And my wife and i hadn’t had a chance to get groceries before my parents arrived. So, with less food than normal.. I made the bacon and I made some pancakes. And I found some Canadian bacon to supplement it all. I chose not to make eggs. Because I couldn’t make enough for all 7 of us. My dad tries to grab 3-4 slices of bacon, I ask him to wait and let me serve him, so I can make sure everyone gets some. He huffs.. and takes his pancakes and won’t sit to eat. Stands at the table. I parcel out the bacon and give him another slice. My mom comes into the kitchen and says “I’m going to make me and your dad eggs”I have my hands full, haven’t sat down yet and the stove has pancakes and bacon on it to serve (my kitchen isn’t that big) I look around in frustration with my hands full of plate and coffee with my breakfast.. trying to figure where I’m going to move everything  and ask if they can just have some more Canadian bacon (they want protein.. it’s all about protein with them) He dad from the others room says “if eggs are such a big deal, just forget about it..” with an attitude stomps away from the table to go take a shower. My mom said I offended him, “he only eats eggs on days he doesn’t work” and why wouldn’t I just make him the eggs.. I know he likes eggs or let her. Make the eggs. I said “I don’t have enough for everyone. That’s why I didn’t make them”And I told her his reaction was unacceptable and childish. Apparently that was rude of me to say. My sister took their side and said “you know how dad gets, why didn’t you make sure you had enough of everything”AITA for not feeding into the enabling “let’s keep dad happy” behavior and just making the eggs?",AITA for not making my dad eggs,NTA
10vab0t,"Three years ago I moved into my current flat and almost since the very beginning I became close friends with my neighbour from the same floor. Mostly because we're the same nationality and it turned out we had some friends in common. Over the years we both helped each other out once in a while whether it was borrowing money, helping with some small repairs, grocery shopping etc. She's a single parent and I always felt kind of bad for her because she works two jobs and it sort of reminded me of my childhood so whenever she needed something I tried to help. When she started working her second job about a year ago she asked me if I could pick her daughter up from school and let her stay at mine till she came home at 8/9pm. Obviously I didn't have an issue with that since I finished work at 2.30 and her school was almost on my way home (she finishes school at 3pm). Her kid is also old enough that I didn't really have to do anything other than heat up some food and she just spends the entire time either playing on my PC or watching TV with me and sometimes my girlfriend. On Friday my neighbour asked me if her daughter could stay overnight at mine because she got asked to do a night shift instead of her usual evening shift to cover for someone. I didn't have any plans for Friday night anyway so I agreed. I told her daughter she could sleep on the sofa because I honestly didn't really feel like giving up my bed. The next morning when she came to pick her daughter up we talked for a few minutes and during the conversation I mentioned that her daughter slept on the sofa and she got mad at me and said I shouldn't have made her sleep there and that I was selfish for not letting her get a proper night sleep. Afterwards I started wondering if I did act selfish or was I justified in not giving up my bed? AITA here?",AITA for making the girl I was babysitting sleep on the sofa?,NTA
10v97vh,"My (28M) wife (26F) and I have been married for close to 7 years.We currently have five kids together- 6M, 4M, 3F, and my wife gave birth to fraternal twins ( son and daughter) a year and a half ago.My wife intended to graduate high school the year we got married but life got in the way. My dad had given me an investor relations type of role at his company so we were traveling a lot and then after that our kids needed our attentions. After our twins were born my wife was bedridden for longer than we and even the doctors expected. Since we had to hire extra hands to do the childcare tasks that involved mobility my wife had some time on her hands.Her mother told her that her friend who proctors at a testing center said that they give GED tests basically every week ( at least across the state of Idaho) and that she should dust off her general education knowledge. She started browsing her laptop and decided to enroll in a GED prep class online.It seems she was better at self paced learning than classroom learning because the stuff they were testing her on came way easier to her now than it did then even though she's been away from structured classroom instruction for many years now.Even after she was back on her feet, she'd be studying for it after she dropped the older two off to their respective schools. I would see what she was studying and it looked pretty rudimentary and I knew that getting a GED basically means nothing and that she probably wouldn't be able to apply it to anything career wise, or commit full time to community college, where I doubt the job prospects for students are that great right now either.So my wife ended up taking the test and the other day she bounded into the room and said "" Yes! I passed, I passed!""I knew she would since she was doing well on the practice tests and the GED consistently tests on the same rudimentary topics. I did not gripe at her but merely nodded at her and went back to answering an important email from a client.My wife seemed to get upset and I asked her what was wrong. She said I didn't seem that excited and I said that it's great that she passed but I have been telling her that it was easy and no big deal, but if she needed something to prove to herself she knew the high school concepts, I guess the money was well spent.She got even more upset and said she worked very hard and this was the essential building blocks to being able to start a career.AITA? My wife passed her GED test, but she wasn't exactly graduating from college and wouldn't be for at least 15 years. I just didn't see any immediate applicability to her test but I am glad she had something to challenge her while she was coming off being unable to fully care for the kids.","AITA for not acting impressed by my wife's "" accomplishment?""",YTA
10v78qr,"My older sister (f18) is pregnant, she's seven months in. She lives with us still (my parents and my younger brother) because she's going to be a single mother, her boyfriend left her when he found out she was pregnant. For that she thinks that we have to help her in everything, suddenly you can't even ask her to wash the dishes because you're an asshole. Yesterday she was feeling bad, she's been feeling like that lately and the doctors said she should rest and the pain will go away. My sister has always been a drama queen so I can't even guarantee that she's feeling that bad or she's actually overreacting. She was lying in the couch in the living room watching TV when she saw me she said ""Meg go to the drugstore and buy this medicine (she was handing me a paper and some money) and go to the grocery store to buy some ice cream and onion chips"". I told her ""no, I have to do something else"" because I was heading off to meet my friends. She then again told me to buy her stuff, came back and then go meeting with them. I told ""fuck off you can go yourself if you need it that much"". She told me she can't because mom took the car, I told her to walk. She then started insulting me but I left without paying attention. When I came back she has already made up a big drama about how I insulted her and refused to buy her medicine to our parents. They grounded me which sucks but what stood out for me was that she said she can have a miscarriage if she doesn't take that medicine which made me feel very guilty. My friends think I was in the right and so does my brother but my parents wouldn't have reacted like that if she was wrong, right?",AITA for telling my pregnant sister that she go to the grocery store herself is she needs something?,NTA
10va10v,"My wife and I are in the process of purchasing our first home and one of the places we looked at has a finished apartment in the garage that is separate from the main house. My wife thought this would be great in the future to our parents live with us. This opened up a whole discussion.She immediately ruled out my parents as they are very well off and would never have the need to live with us from a financial prospective. We also spent about 4 weeks with them during COVID and realized we just weren't compatible . I 100% agreed with this sentiment.Then she brought up her dad  and step mom. Out of all our parental pairs we get along with her dad and step mom the best. They are good people who do not interject, judge or overstep into our lives. They are helpful when we ask for help (which we rarely do). She mentioned that they could live in the apartment as they are low maintenance and would keep to themselves. I agreed that they would be least intrusive on our lives but would prefer that they not live with us but I didn't shut the door on them.Then came the topic of her mother Sarah. My wife thought her mom living with us could be possible as she isn't married, she wants to spend more time with her grandson (and future grandchildren) and isn't as financially well off as the others. Sarah is a wonderful person who means well but has this frantic nervous energy about her that just wears on me. Her frantic nervous energy stems from severe anxiety that manifests itself by her wanting to please everyone. This might sound wonderful at first but it wears on everyone. Simple examples like her offering a glass of water turns into a game of 20 questions with her offering every beverage in the house to you after you state you are not thirsty. She has been in therapy for years for her anexity. This behaviour was a contributing factor in her divorce from Steve (to give some scale to how excessive it is). My wife also gets very frustrated with her mom but she manifests her annoyance by mirroring this type of behaviour. She will start speaking a mile a min asking me question after question before I have time to respond to the first.All of this lead to say that there is NO WAY Sarah could ever live with us. As it was just put too much stress on our relationship. I was probably firmer (but not mean) then I needed to be on this point but I stand by my opinion. Having her move in with us now or down the road would just be something I will not consider (barring a serious health issue or something of that nature). I even went as far as to say we could help support her financially if it came to it.My wife is upset and called me an asshole for shutting the door on the potential of her mother living with us. We have spoken at lengthen in the past about how spending significant time with Sarah puts a strain on our relationship so I was a bit surprised by her reaction.So ATIA for not allowing her mother to ever live with us?",AITA for not allowing my MIL to live with us,NTA
10v9u4i,"I'm a freshman in college and I live in a dorm with a living room, 2 rooms and 2 beds in each room but there's only 3 of us living here. My roommate and my suite mate are much closer than I am which I'm not upset about because they just have way more in common than I do with them and they get along better overall. But there have been several instances where they would bring random people over without asking me or at least letting me know. There was this one time during finals week where they brought people over to drink and party that night, but I had a flight at 9 am the next morning. They stayed until maybe 3 or 4 am and because of that I couldn't get any sleep at all. It was already hard enough that I couldn't shower or get ready for bed because there were so many people outside (not to mention they are all men and I'm a woman). And last Friday I was having a really bad day and for once I decided I just wanted to stay in bed and relax the rest of the night. Suddenly a whole bunch of people come over and are drinking and making a lot of noise. Again, they didn't even ask me if it was okay OR let me know people were coming over. Yesterday I sent them a text saying I'd appreciate it if they would ask me if it's okay to have guests or at least just let me know beforehand. My roommate replied to me and apologized, but my suite mate didn't even acknowledge it. Now things are awkward and tense. AITA?",AITA for telling my roommates (18F and 18F) to ask me (18F) if it's okay to have guests over?,YTA
10v75wo,"I have been friends with this girl for a long time, about 10 years, and though she is a great person she doesn't stand up for herself or others for fear of confrontation, which I get but... This made me reach my limit and snap at her.So the story. She lives in another country and in the summer I went over for a visit. We went to a party with her partner and lots of his friends, including his best friend. These guys are in their mid 30s and we're in our late 20s for context.So basically, the best friend of my friend's partner  is known in their group to have a drug problem and has erratic behaviour. During this party he had consumed drugs, I was just having some beers. At some point in the night we get talking (normal conversation, I was not flirtatious in any way because I honestly felt repulsed by the guy as he clearly finds himself very attractive and thinks everyone loves him). He out of the blue starts talking about image, and how everyone crafts their image based on what response they want from others, whereas I was disagreeing and saying while some people may do that others can just use their image as self expression/wearing what makes them feel good. He proceeds to say 'you for example, you clearly wore that dress tonight because you're looking for male attention, my eyes would obviously be drawn to your cleavage and you knew what you were doing when you wore that'. For context, I was wearing a long sundress that I had just bought that day with my friend,  not the most revealing thing, but sure it had a scooping neckline. I proceeded to tell him off and walked away. My friend had overhead some of it but I told her and her partner the whole story the next day.I was kind of expecting them to have some kind of a response, since I was a visitor and their friend made me feel so disrespected. But nothing really happened. The guy sends me a voice message a week later where he said : 'Im sorry YOU got triggered '.I decided to let the whole thing go but it definitely made me distance myself from my friend. Now this year I will be seeing her at a wedding and bachelorette party and called her about how it made me feel that she never stuck up for me. I didn't want my resentment about it coming out when we meet in person so I thought a call would be good to clear the air.She explained it away by saying they were just so tired of the guy and his antics at the time that they didn't have the energy to deal with it. I said that was not a good excuse and that I hope she'll learn to stand up for people she cares about rather than being an onlooker. She still regularly hangs out with the guy too. It pisses me off and her excuse made it worse.AITA?Edit: I really appreciate all the comments calling me the asshole because I needed another perspective. I think the problem comes down to the fact that I am fiercely loyal to those I care about (maybe too fierce?) And I tend to expect the same in others which isn't fair. Good learning lesson.",AITA for calling out my friend's wimpy response to her pervy friend?,YTA
10v817g,"So I (19F) and my bf (19M) have been dating for about 6 months. For some context, we both work together in a restaurant, because of this we see each other almost every day, and my boyfriend is Mexican and I’m white (I’m not sure if that has any relevance or not though). 3 months into our relationship, I started to notice that almost every time there was a table with black people in his section, he’d give it away to another server. I thought it was weird, but for the first couple of times I chalked it up to him just not wanting another table to deal with. Yesterday I finally reached a breaking point when he yet again gave away a table with black people. I started to kind of avoid him and when he asked me what was wrong I flat out told him that he was being racist. He asked me what I was talking about and I explained that every time he has a table with black people he gives it away.He told me that apparently “they’re too needy and ask him for stuff all the time” even though every other table does that too? He got angry with me and told me that if I’ve been thinking this and have such a problem with it, then why am I even with him? I tried explaining that I wanted to give him benefit of the doubt but he wasn’t listening to me. When we were doing our normal end of night cleaning (which usually ends up with us making out a broom closet) he wouldn’t talk to me and was clearly avoiding me. I tried talking to him after I had finished with everything and was about to head home, but he had been drinking and was clearly not in the right headspace to talk about that kind of issue.Now he’s been not responding to my texts or speaking to me at all and I’m worried I ruined our relationship. AITA?",AITA for calling my boyfriend out after he acted racist?,NTA
10v8q9d,"[Original Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10ssm7j/aita_for_calling_out_my_brother_for_pretending_to/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)J and I finally talked about what happened. I apologized because I felt extremely bad and wanted to make it right. I tried apologizing before this, but he always walked away or ignored me (which I understand why). To summarize our conversation, I apologized for embarrassing him and told him that I should’ve done it in private and he said he forgave me. We made a promise that from now on, if one of us is doing something wrong, We’ll pull each other aside instead of embarrassing each other. We made this promise because I noticed people saying I was the AH which it was a messed up thing to do. I kind of secretly hope he does the same to me for revenge because I still feel guilty. Also I saw a commenter on the original post ask if I did it to show off, I absolutely did not, I known his friends for a while and definitely would NEVER embarrass my brother just for cool points but I could understand why you asked that because younger sister embarrasses older brother infront of friends so they’ll like her is sadly quite common but again I’ve known them for a while and would never do that.",UPDATE : AITA for calling out my brother for pretending to be something he's not in front of his friends,NTA
10v8yd0,"I'm a medical intern (basically a doctor but I have to wait 2 years to get my license) some background: in my area we delivered babys, help in some surgeries and with all the paperwork and legal documents. The first year residents are the ones who manage the postpartum, post surgery, evolutions and discharged paperwork we only help them with the easy parts once they are done, and some don't like being help with the last two. Also I had just been moved to that chiftSo I did a ""guardia"" so I had to work overnight and since it was the weekend it was until the start of the next chift and once we finish all the work.It had been around 17 hours and none of us had slept a thing, so we (interns) finished all the available paperwork for us to work with, but we still have some left we were waiting for to be finished so we could do our part. The other two interns with me decided to sleep a bit, after I asked one of them if there was anything else pending and he said no, that it was just waiting for that, so I decided to go help the interns schedule for that day since I wasn't sleepy at that point. Once the paperwork was available for us I started to that and the other interns went to work on something else. I also did some other work and I told a 2nd year resident about it since that was part of their paperwork (The more years and ranking you have, the more power you get) a 3rd year resident also told me it was fine and I could go home, afterwards another 2nd year resident told me I could leave. I've never liked leaving work undone for other people to do so I asked one of the three 1st year residents that are in charged of that and he told me since we were done with the paperwork I could leave so I did.After I got home I took a shower and I grab my phone to see many angry text for one of my co- interns looking for me and asking me how could I leave since they were still stuck with work to do (about an hour since I have left), so I replied and explained all that happened. And both of them replied that I shouldn't have left since I didn't tell them and that the other resident in charged of us still had worked to do and was asking us to help her (I did not asked her since she was in another floor at the time, I didn't know where, some people don't like help with that part, I didn't had her phone number and had already asked one of the other 3 people directly in charged of us), they said that was not how things worked out in that chift that they were finishing all the work and were also tired and wanted to go home but that they knew better and that they had to have that done first, that next time I should also clear it with them before I go (they were also told we could go home before I was and told me that, so I assume they were also going home once the finished their part). They ended up leaving 2-3 hours after I hadSo AITA for not telling my coworkers that I was going home?",AITA for not telling my coworkers I was going home?,NTA
10v8sxs,"Some context I (24M) own part of a Watersports business and recently got a job offer that I’m seriously considering taking. I’d call if more of a mom and pop business. This year I’d probably take in around 80k-100k which is great money but the only problem is I work 7 days a week, no holidays off and the only day I really get off are when the weather is horrible which is rarely all day. I recently just had a baby and have had a switch in perspective and now would like to be able to spend more time at home and not have my life revolve around my business. The offer I got is working under and contractor who in the next 3-4 years will teach me the business and help me get my general contracting license so I can start my own business. I’d be taking a pay cut making only about 45k-50k a year but I’d get weekends and holidays off which are important to me because of the baby. I also think even tho I’ll be taking a pay cut the next few years the opportunity I’ll have in the next 5-10 years with a GC license will be better off for my family and I than the business I have now. My partner is my business now is about 50M and relies on me pretty heavily, but to the point that I’m burnt out. I’ve worked for him for about 8 years and he’s been slowly bringing me in on the ownership side. A little too slow in my opinion, instead of making me a 50% partner from the start he’s been cutting me in on little parts of the business instead of just making me a 50% partner and it feels like he’s giving me just enough to keep me around instead of giving me my share. I understand it’s his business but he relies on my pretty heavily to the point where like I said I work every single day 8-9 hours a day and deal with every aspect of the business and instead of hiring new employees to take the load off he expects it out of me and wants to save money instead of hiring people so I can have off days and take time off. We also have different visions on the company’s future. I’d like the expand and take a more modern approach to the business which he likes doing everything pen and paper and is complacent where he’s at. Our season kicks off in a month and I haven’t told him I’m leaving because I’m waiting for the 100% confirmation that I’ll have this new job before I do tell him even tho I’ve been offered this new job. So AITA for only giving him a months heads up that I’m leaving and we’ll have to sell or liquidate our equipment and business account while also have him find employees to replace me? Sorry for the long past thanks for any input!",AITA for giving my business partner only a month heads up that I’m leaving our business,NTA
10va38v,"I [17M] don’t care if others vape, it’s not my business. I have friends who vape, I don’t care. But the thing is my little sis has started vaping because, I’m assuming, her friends let her hit. And now she’s doing it at school and skipping clases.Idk if she’s using it as a bad coping mechanism or she’s just doing it to look cool in front of her friends, but I don’t like the thought of my 15 y/o little sister gettin addicted. And my younger cousins [15F & 14F] also vapes. I literally have seen all of them vape when we hang out. I never said anything because it was 3>1 and id feel like they’d all hate me or call me a buzzkill. Just the other day they were vaping in the bathroom and I told them I wouldn’t say anything. Why I think I might be TA is because I think, 1. It’s still not my business and they should face the consequences on their own.2. They have gotten in trouble for this before and my parents say that if they catch my sister one more time doing it then they’re pulling her out of school and making her do online school for the remainder of high school.She already feels isolated and this would probably make her depression worse.And 3. I’m the one my sister relies on, she trusts me and I’m her shoulder to cry on. I feel like If I snitched the trust would be gone and she’s never trust or talk to me ever again.I’ve thought about just telling her to quit it but with her record of constantly lying, I know that would not work.WIBTA?",WIBTA for snitching on my underage relatives for vaping?,NTA
10v9fs8,"We met M (the friend) as we moved cities. My mother used to be very close with M's mother when they were younger, so the reunion was heart warming. We got close to the family and would often visit each other, until M's mother passed away due to cancer. That's when my mom started calling M every single day to check up on her, she'd say ""she doesn't have a mom anymore, she needs someone to rely on"". M was also pregnant with her second child at the time, so I understood why my mom took so much care of her. Now that was 3 years ago.For the past 3 years, while still videocalling her every day, my mom gradually started to worship M and her family, bringing them up in every conversation she has with me, or with people who don't even know them.   And when I say she ""worships"" them, she really does, for my mom, M is the prettiest and most intelligent person ever, she's also a great parent to her kids as she (wait for it) takes care of them (even though she's a housewife and has, really, nothing else to do), and don't get her started and how breathakingly beautiful and smart the kids are and on how amazing people they will become.  Imagine talking to your friend and she brigns up this family and how amazing they are every single time?? My mom had been looking for a job for a very long time and, what made me extremely upset, was that after signing the contract, she sent pics of it to M first, and I had to wait for several hours for her to get home and finally show it to me. And she does that for every single thing. Whatever new thing she buys, whatever she has on her chest, whatever happens to her, whatever she cooks, how many times she craps a day, M is always the first person to know about it and it annoys the hell out of me.I am aware that this is jealousy, as my mom never talks about me the way she talks about M or her children to other people, as she does to M's kids what she never did for me then, or now. They often come first. There's a cake me and M both like, but it isn't a cheap one. She rearely ever buys it for me, but she buys it for M when she visits her saying ""you'll it some there"" and dragging me along.M has done nothing wrong, what upsets me is that my mom worships them as if they were some gods and closes her eyes on every aspect of them that makes them who they are, a normal family, with average looking, average minded kids. I feel like soon enough, these bottled up emotions of envy and sadness will explode, and my relationship with my mom will suffer. I know it will have consenquences as I already show hostility towards her when she mentions them, and she takes it very seriously.So... AITA for getting annoyed when my mom mentions her friend or is my reaction normal?Tl;dr: My mom has a friend she pretty much started to worship over time. She does for her and her kids what she never did for me, and it makes me jealous and hostile. AITA for being the way I am?",AITA for getting annoyed every time my (19F) mom (50F) mentions her friend (31F)?,NTA
10vaylu,"So for context my SIL gets married summer 2024, last year while talking at her birthday she asks what I’m doing this September to which I reply I don’t know yet but it’s my 30th that month. Now I hate the idea of being the centre of attention but 30 is a big one right? So anyway she informs me that they have decided they will be having their away hen a stag do’s that month! Fast forward to Christmas and my partner(her brother) confronts her and asks her why she would plan for the same month as my birthday and tells her he’s not happy. They have a bit of a falling out but it never gets brought up again. Fast forward to last week and we get added to Separate group chats for the upcoming celebrations only to find out the stag is the weekend of my ACTUAL BIRTHDAY and the hen has no set date but a 2 week window that includes my birthday. I’m trying to be reasonable but I feel this is intentional and vindictive, they don’t even get married this year and could have picked any other month this year or before may next year. There is also no specific need for it to be that month with work or any other commitments. I haven’t replied on the group chat or spoke to anyone except my partner and a few work colleagues because of n all honesty I’m furious and I’m failing to see any other reason for her to do this except badness. So I ask you Reddit AITA if I take a step back and don’t attend and for thinking she is doing this to fuck with me.",AITA for refusing to go to SIL away hen out of spite,YTA
10vax7a,"I am a late 20's male disabled military veteran who currently lives with his brother and his wife and kids. I do not currently pay rent or have a job. However I do pay bills, buy food on the occasion, clean the house every day, do bigger house projects with my brother (like build a new deck during the summer) and watch the kids whenever they need me to. Due to past experiences in the military that I won't get into here I don't leave the house often so I'm basically a built in nanny. I babysit the kids so often that when the kids were younger they often accidentally called me dad and a lot of their friends/bus drivers do think I am their dad as I drop them off at/pick up them up at the bus. They recently had another baby which means they expect me to babysit it all day while they go out and work. My best friend of nearly 15 years offered to let me move into his new house with him once they get settled in. After some initial hesitation I decided to move in with him as I don't really want to babysit their baby everyday for the next 4 years of my life. I haven't told my family yet as I know they are going to freak out about my decision. Which is why I'm writing this post, Am I the Asshole for wanting to move out and not babysit their kid?",AITA For Wanting to Move,NTA
10v9vc1,"I (31F) have been in a serious relationship with Mike (30M) for nearly 1.5 years. His best friend Renzo (32M) has been a third-wheel in our relationship since the start. Over the course of our relationship, Renzo has called me a c\*nt and been present on the day of our anniversary -- my friends and I honestly think he might be in love with Mike. This weekend was Renzo's birthday, and we all went out to celebrate. On Sunday, I received news that my Facebook had been hacked and disabled (I am a social media manager), so I was rightfully freaking out about my job. Because of this, Mike and I decided to not go out and complete the weekend of festivities for Renzo's birthday (drinking and watching ""Star Wars""). Mike was also feeling tired (he has some health issues that may lead him to need to give up drinking altogether).Renzo flipped out about us not attending, blaming it on me, and then proceeding to find my Twitter going back to when I opened the account in Feb. 2010 and screenshot Tweets he thought were ""incriminating"" (including one from Jan. 2012 where I asked a friend to find me ""a hot lawyer"" -- Renzo and Mike are both lawyers). Renzo called me a gold-digger, which I saw and sent a message to our group chat calling him out on his behavior -- first and foremost, going through my Tweets that far and secondly for the gold-digger comment (it is important to note that I come from a very privileged background and I have more in emergency savings than Mike).Renzo called Mike telling him that I never liked Renzo and he never liked me, but if we were to continue to date, it would ruin their friendship. I reached out to Renzo this morning asking if he would like to grab coffee or tea to sort through this for Mike's sake (especially considering the impending health issues) and he told me he wanted nothing to do with me among other choice words.Mike is distraught about all of this, which I understand -- he has known Renzo since they were in middle school and they lived together for two years. FWIW, I never knew Renzo didn't like me nor did I ever have any negative feelings toward him, even with the name-calling and other things.AITA for essentially breaking up this friendship?",AITA for calling out my BF's best friend in front of him?,NTA
10v9sc7,"My girlfriend (22f) and I (24m) have been together around 2 years and have lived together just over a year. We've spoke in the past about the importance of having time to ourselves whether to read, watch tv, play video games, go for walks etc. Just anything that we can do on our own to just relax. There is a video game coming out next Friday that I have been excited about for a while so I took a day off work and I am planning to spend the day just relaxing, playing the game and maybe catching up on some tv shows on Netflix.My girlfriend has been talking about going into town for drinks since it's been a while since we've done it. We go on regular dates but it's been a while since we've just gone into town for a couple of drinks. I agreed with her and we started discussing when to go. I suggested this sunday as we are busy on Saturday and since we both have late starts at work on Monday but she said she doesn't want Sunday. I asked about next Saturday night but she said she might be busy with friends. She suggested Friday and I pointed out I have planned to just relax and not do much Friday and just take the day for myself. She said I'll have plenty of time to do that and she's only asking for 2-4 hours. I refused and said she's known about my plans for weeks. I suggested before she meets friends on Saturday but she said she doesn't want to show up drunk.I said we'd just have to wait until the following weekend then and she got annoyed and said she wanted something sooner and she didn't see why I couldn't just take a couple of hours out of my evening on Friday to go and implied I was being unreasonable by not doing it.AITA for refusing to change my plans?",AITA for refusing to change my plans?,NTA
10v9prq,"My roommate and I are both 27 year old girls. She has been affected by the tech lay-offs last month, so these days she has been waking up late (around 10am) and spending her days at home sending out resumes. I work 9-5. In our apartment, we share things like paper towels, condiments, coffee, tea, soap, etc etc etc and take turns buying them. Yesterday morning I was getting ready for work and wanted to make coffee, but noticed there was only a little bit left, hardly enough to make coffee. I was irritated as she is the one who is always at home while I work, and I have less time to pay attention to these things. I had to buy myself a coffee from Starbucks on the way to work. When I came home, I politely asked her next time to have the reflex to refill things when they run low, because she had really dampened my morning. She got defensive and said it's not just on her to refill things that we both use, and she had just forgotten. I reminded her that its not the first time she has forgotten to refill something. For example, last week I had to remind her to buy more dishsoap when she was going to the grocery store. She said ""so freaking what, I bought it last time"" and we kinda snapped at each other. She's still cold towards me. She said its not about the coffee (although she went and bought it last night after our fight), but that I make her feel like I'm patronising her. I pointed out that since she's always at home now, I expect that she understands she has more free time than me and picks up more slack with house chores. She said I'm being unreasonable and that's that. AITA?",AITA for requesting that my roommate buy more coffee when we're out?,YTA
10v9jpt,"My best friend and I have lived together for a few years. Recently, she has gotten a boyfriend. We will call her “Laura” and him “Ben”.  For some background: They only have sex at our place. Why? Because Ben is cheating on his partner, “Sarah”, with Laura. Laura knows, but Sarah does not. I’m WEIRDLY not bothered by this (except for the fact that I think Laura may potentially get her heart broken). Ben is a great guy and I truly believe this is a one-off for him as far as cheating goes. They just randomly had eyes for each other almost immediately after meeting. Sarah has not treated Ben well and she has cheated on other partners in the past. Anyway, I can hear Laura and Ben going at it regularly. I can hear them if I sit on our balcony because her window is right there. I can hear them in the common areas of the apartment because we have vinyl throughout and it echoes. They keep the door closed, but it isn’t enough. I have to be out in the kitchen if it is in the morning to make coffee and breakfast. I really don’t want to eat my breakfast in my bedroom. Even then, I can hear them in there… with my door closed… if they are “finishing”. The only way I can totally escape the sound is to go in my bathroom and turn the fan on. It isn’t the slapping, or even Ben’s breathing that gets to me. It’s Laura’s moaning. She’s like a sister to me and it makes me VERY uncomfortable. In my past relationship, my ex-boyfriend and I were always super careful to keep the noise down if she was home. I would keep my “vocalizations” to more of a heavier breath and whisper. I consciously didn’t want her to hear me out of embarrassment for myself. Plus, I knew it would be uncomfortable for her. The past few times I’ve heard them, I lightly joked about it to her. She would laugh, cringe, and apologize. The other day, I had had enough. The following evening during dinner, I asked her to please try to keep it down because it makes me uncomfortable. I never once raised my voice, or got mean. I told her sternly, but kept it light and even laughed a little. She got VERY defensive and said “You know how it is in the moment! I don’t even think about it! Go in your bedroom or something!” I don’t believe this. I’ve told her multiple times that I can hear her. There’s no way she doesn’t think about it. I just don’t think she cares. Plus, why should I have to inconvenience myself just for her to have fun? It’s not my fault they can’t keep it down and he’s cheating. Now, she’s been a bit standoffish toward me off and on. She can hold grudges and I feel like she’s going to stay mad at me for a bit. I heard them again this morning and they were LOUDER THAN EVER. I could tell exactly when it was all over because I could hear both of them moaning insanely loud as they “came to fruition”. I feel bad because I want her to have fun. She deserves a good relationship, but it’s too much. AITA?",AITA for telling my roommate/best friend to quiet down during sex?,NTA
10v99ha,"It was my husband's birthday last Friday, and me and my sister-in-law were buying snack foods for the party in the supermarket. Potato chips, cakes, beers, wine... and a birthday cake.As we were going round, she decided to open a few packets of Pringles and eat them to see which was good and bad, did some of that with the cakes too, left half-open packets.She opened a large mint candy bar and began eatign some of it, then put it back on the shelf.I worry this has been caught on security camera.Sister-in-law doesn't live in our state, here in California; she flew in from Vermont to see us.I told her there and then this was unacceptable and we argued about it for a few minutes, she apologised; I then said I'd speak to her more about it after the party so as not to ruin it for my husband.AITA for telling my sister-in-law to stop eating food in the supermarket?",AITA for telling sister-in-law to stop eating the potato chips in the supermarket when we were buying supplies for a party?,NTA
10v96yj,"I (15m) was at a family reunion at a fancy hotel, and I was hanging out with my sister (17f) and some cousins. I was recently diagnosed with autism, and I've been doing a lot of research into it. My sister kept calling it Aspergers, and I didn't like that. First some context on our dynamic.My sister dominates pretty much every conversation we're in together. Whenever I disagree with her on something, she will get everyone against me until I shut up. I spoke up and told her where the origins of the word Aspergers came from, and she said it's just a word and was all condescending, treating me like an unreasonable stupid brat. I didn't react and asked if she was done, and she kind of just froze. She realized I wasn't backing down like I usually did. So she went to our parents and said I was being rude. I didn't back down, and she got really angry and ran off. My parents made me apologize so we wouldn't argue on the drive home. AITA?",AITA for being direct and assertive with my sister?,NTA
10v8crh,"So, for some context: when I was a younger, I would frequently steal food from the fridge/around the house that hadn't been eaten. Usually it was things like candy and snacks, etc. While I don't do it anymore, there WAS a precedent for me doing it in the past. My grandmother knows this.So, last night, she misplaced her bags of 3 Musketeers/Milky Way. And I'm talking BIG bags. She comes storming in my room, demanding to know what I did with them. (I didn't do anything with them). I was trying to sleep, and I was tired of her blaming me every time she misplaced something, so I said ""I didn't do anything with them, you stupid bitch""This (obviously) upset her, but it achieved my goal of getting her out of my room. My mother came in not long after, asking me why I called her that, and I explained the same thing I just said: I was tired of her blaming me when she misplaced food. She just sorta shrugged and went back to her room. However, this morning I was looking back and thinking maybe I could've been nicer about it. So I wanted to get and outside opinion.AITA?",AITA for calling my Grandmother a bitch,YTA
10v892v,"So a little context, I'm a 20y/o female and my Fiance is a 21y/o male and we live in his mother's house paying $400 a month in order to save up to buy a car and get an apartment. I recently found out while horrible sick that when my fiance and I did long distance that he had cheated on me so I took a couple days off of work to recover physically and mentally. Fast forward about 2 weeks to a couple days ago and I took advantage of the icey roads and called off a third time just to have one relaxing day to myself to get some taxes done and put in a few job applications, and she called my job multiple times to get to my boss and lecture him about how I need more hours to pay her rent. I had already sent my $200 for the month to my fiance at that point. So I got pissed and yelled at her for it and now we have 3 days to leave. And on top of all of this my fiances father calls my dad and tells him I'm not mature enough to be with his son and I need to leave and go back to my dad's. I apologized for yelling at her and she forgives me but we still have to leave. I'm at a loss at this point. If you have any clarifying questions feel free to ask in the comments",AITA for yelling at my Fiance's Mother,NTA
10v84u1,"I started a new job last month. The way it works is that senior colleagues assign us tasks in a public Slack channel. Sometimes they’ll vamp with it or try to make the assignment funny, but they always have to @ us on Slack in front of everyone and let us know what we’ll be working on. A typical example: say my name is Cassie: “@Cassie, please take this assignment for 10 am today.”“Paul” is an older guy; I haven’t met him in person. I’m 24F. He has this weird habit of assigning things to women by saying “Miss Lastname, could you work on this?” However, he just adresses my male colleagues by their first name. It’s always “Miss,” even for married women, which is technically incorrect. By our standards, saying “Ms.” for a married woman would be correct, but “Miss” is not. Ironically, we work on a lot of grammatical technicalities, so I know he knows this. I don’t work with him a ton, but the next time I do, would I be an asshole for calling him “Mr.”? I’m new to the team (of about 80 people) but I just am so stuck on how much this annoys me.",WIBTA for calling a colleague “Mr.”?,NTA
10vavyd,"So I (22F) have been dating my boyfriend (26M) for about five months now. We met on a dating app seven months ago and made it official shortly after. He moved to my area in Michigan from Nebraska for school and now works up here, but his whole family lives in the south. We hadn’t really talked much about his family, I knew he had a sister around my age, but they haven’t been super close since he moved so he doesn’t mention her much. I didn’t know if there was a story there but he obviously didn’t talk about it so I didn’t particularly care, because I think it’s a little early to be sticking my nose in his business with his family.So anyway, this weekend I stopped over at his place after a particularly bad day at work. I didn’t call ahead because we’ve never had that kind of a relationship before and have never cared if the other drops by unannounced. Well come to find out his parents were visiting (he hadn’t told me) and they were there at his apartment. He invited me in and introduced me as his girlfriend who was just stopping by and not staying long, which I thought was weird, but I get not being ready to introduce me to your parents. Then he gets a call and steps out for a second, his dad asks me basic questions like my name, where I work, etc. So I introduce myself more properly and both his parents get a weird look on their face. Now my name isn’t crazy popular, common enough that I’ve met two or three people with it in my lifetime, but not so common that I can get a key chain with my name at a gift shop. His parents tell me that it’s kinda funny because I have the same name as his sister. Same spelling, everything, and she’s also 22. I finish up the conversation and excuse myself before my bf gets back.Now here’s where I may be the asshole. A couple days later, he asked me why I had been so distant and I said it was nothing, I’m just busy. But he kept pushing it and pushing it so I explained I was confused by what weird Freudian nightmare I was living in by having so much in common with his sister. He said I was being out of line, but I pointed out that if it wasn’t a problem why hadn’t he said anything in the past seven months? I feel bad, and I frankly don’t know if it actually is weird. I personally wouldn’t date someone with the same name as my immediate family, but maybe I’m making a mountain out of a molehill here?",AITA for being weirded out by my boyfriend?,YTA
10vavpn,"Long story short, I've been helping my aunt take care of my dad and stepmother. I've been doing so for a month now and I am fixing to go home. My aunt wants to thank me by giving me some gifts. Now I wouldn't have known about this if it wasn't for my stepmother. My stepmother told me that my aunt was going to surprise me with something. She didn't tell me what it was, but she did tell me not to tell my aunt as my aunt wanted it to be a complete surprise. I'm thinking, why imform me that there was going to be a surprise in the first place then? Over the week, my stepmother, slowly and ""discreetly,"" revealed what the surprise was going to be by asking me gift ideas. That was two days ago. Today, she completely revealed what the surprise gifts were going to be. And she made sure to tell me once more that I can't tell my aunt that I know, and that when I get the surprise, I should act shocked....WHY TELL ME?I'm not upset that I know what the surprise was going to be. I don't really care, in fact. I'm more upset that my stepmother went against my aunts wishes. My aunt wanted it to be a surprise, and my stepmother ruined that for her. My reaction will no longer be genuine, and I feel guilty for having to pretend that I'm surprised. I just hate that my aunt is going through the trouble of being discreet for nothing. I just wish I knew why people feel the need to ruin surprises for others...Anyway, I'm planning on telling everyone even though it will put my stepmother on the spot. I just don't think it's right, and I want my stepmother to know that. I hate to have to pretend to be surprised. I know it may be wrong considering that she will be embarrassed and that everyone is likely to be mad at her. It may also be going too far, I don't know. In just upset that she told me. Why did she tell me?",WIBTA if I put my stepmother on the spot for knowingly ruining my surprise?,ESH
10vatlf,"I will try to keep this succinct.We lost a family member recently that was very close to my sibling and myself.My sibling (let’s call them Eggwhite) wanted to commerate this family member by getting a tattoo of the family members handwriting and I said that was an awesome idea and I also wanted to do something like that. I am pretty inattentive when it comes to not losing things had often lamented that I had lost many of the mementos I had of my family member to my chagrin so this seemed like a nice way to more permanently keep her memory alive. When I first suggested I wanted to also get a similar tattoo, egg white seemed supportive. Fast forward a couple of months and I am actively looking for tattoo parlors to get this underway and am excited when it appears like I’ve found a good option. However, when I bring this up to egg white, they look visibly upset, so I ask, “are you mad?” And they say “I’m not mad” then pauses and says “but why would you steal my idea instead of coming up with your own” to which I respond, “ok so you clearly have feelings about this” and they say “I don’t have feelings, you can get a tattoo of whatever you want” in a passive aggressive tone. We kind of left it thereI understand where they are coming from because the idea was personal, but that’s why I liked it also, it was the most direct and simple  way to pay homage to my deceased family member I could think of. I really wish both of our wants could coexist, and having matching tattoos could also be cute IMO. So, AITA?",AITA for copying my sibling’s tattoo idea,YTA
10v7hm2,"For clarification, I did not ask her yet, because I'm unsure if I should or not, so this is more of a ""would I be the asshole"". Me ( M 24) and my Gf(F 23) moved in together recently and it's going great. I own a car and she currently doesn't and also has no intent of getting one at the moment. Before we moved in together, I used to take my car to work. But now that we moved in together, she takes it to drive to work, because her work is a daily drive of 150 km away (so 300 km a day back and forth, about 185 Miles daily). And I can drive to work by bicycle which only takes me about 15 minutes and it's pretty easy to get there because of bike lanes in Europe. She obviously agreed to pay for the Gas. The question is, would it be fair to also ask her for money for the ""wear"" on the car she produces? Until we move away or she has a different job, she will have put at least 30. 000 to 40. 000 KM of wear on the car. When I decide to sell the car, that will definitely decrease the value of my car by a not so insignificant amount. So would it be fair to ask her for a compensation of that potential cost? I just feel like it would be a super greedy thing to ask, and although this text may sound like it, I'm usually the opposite of a greedy person. Tldr: Should I ask my GF to give me money for the Big amount of wear she puts on my car, after she already pays for the Gas? (PS: I didn't post this in ""R/Relationship advice because they kept removing it because I was asking for a"" yes or no"", which is kind of stupid in a forum that is meant to give advice 😂)",AITA for asking my GF to compensate me for amount of wear she puts on my car?,NTA
10va8ip,"So this is kinda stupid and I'm sure I'm TA but I wanna ask anyway and get it off my mind. I'm a 19 almost 20FTM. I graduated hs last year and have been working almost full time at burger king since August before that I worked at Kroger. I work 4 days a week from 9-3 I get off at 3 since I need to pick my baby brother up from the bus and babysit him till my stepdad gets home from work. I also usually put him on the bus on weekdays in the morning around 7-7:30. I get 3 days off of work a week which I know is really lucky and a good deal I never asked them for that it's just the way they decided the schedule I guess. On my days off I usually go to the park about a mile from my house and just run/hang out there all day till I need to get home around 5 on weekends and 3 on weekdays when I need to get my brother. My mom fucking hates this she's worried about my safety, that it's dangerous, it's immature and just she really dosent like it. Every time I go out she says something and pretty much begs me to stay home I always just say I'm fine tho and I'll be careful. I pack my little mini-backpack with 2 water bottles, my charger, charging brick, wallet, cash in emergencies everything even brought a tazer with me for awhile to make her feel better. Today tho she got home a little early from work before I left and again started her spiel but today she put her foot down and said I can only be gone for 2 hours and I need to be home and clean the house and that's what real adults do not just stay gone all day running/just fucking off. For some reason it just really pissed me off like she's said similar stuff before but today it just struck a nerve. I didn't snap or start a fight or anything with her cuz I know it's not a big deal but idk. It's not even about me having to clean the house I'll do it no problem when they asks I'm the only one of us 4 kids that will in fact and she knows this. It's just idk she could've just said hey before you leave can you clean the house or when you get back so it's clean before I wake up today. Just I know I'm probably in the wrong and overreacting to it especially cuz it's not like I pay bills or work a good full time job like she and my stepdad do it's just idk it feels like she dosent respect me.",AITA for staying gone all day and disappearing from home on my days off?,NTA
10v9vqz,"Preface: We booked flights to travel to my home tome which is about 16 hours flying. Cost per ticket $650. The relationship became verbally abusive and I decided to move out and leave, he kept calling me an idiot among other things that weren't going to work for me, although I suppose that's irrelevant. We dated about 1 year. During separation I initially agreed to cover 50% of his flight loss since the tickets were non-refundable(could only get the taxes back). Although, he could have used the full cost of the ticket to re-book anywhere else another time, he wanted the refund. He got a voucher code to rebook elsewhere anyway, but reached out to me after 2 weeks wanting to work on things and go to therapy. I thought it's best to try, he ended up re-booking the tickets. Things didn't end up working and now he's put in the refund for taxes to the airline and asked me to send him the full 50% loss. I had been thinking about this for a while and am now struggling to wrap my head around why I actually have to cover half the loss for him. I feel no way responsible to owe him anything for a risk he chose to take. Leaving and moving already cost me a great amount of money and concerns since I already moved back to this country for him. We split everything when I left, I didn't even factor in some of the home goods such as oil left in heating tank etc. He still has $425 (my half)of the rental deposit which I was supposed to get back at the end of the lease, whenever he moves out. It cost me around $1700-1900 to move back to this country but you don't see me asking for 50% of that back. AITA?",AITA for not refunding half of my ex's flight cost for a trip we booked when we were together?,NTA
10v6ize,"I'm 19M and I'm currently running a bi-weekly D&D game on Roll20. One of the players had talked it out with me that he'd have a magic item from his past that would allow him to shape change into a human-bear hybrid that worked on a charge system. After the session where it activated, I had started prepping for the next session and while I had been looking through his sheet, I found that he had not changed his stats back to show that he had transformed back into a human. I messaged him about this, and I guess I didn't word it that well because he said he didn't understand twice. After a couple of hours of thinking I came up with the simplest explanation I could think of, that the benefit s of the ring weren't passive and would only active when he was transformed. After I sent there was silence for a couple more hours and I just went to bed because it had gotten late. When I woke up, I was met by a paragraph of text in Discord PM's where he what I could best describe as a hissy fit over how ""weak"" the ring was and how ineffective as a barbarian he already was, and he had been hoping the ring would make up for that. I responded asking if he wanted the ring to do half the work for his character and if he wanted a power fantasy, not a cooperative game where every member of the party has a role to play. He hasn't responded.  So Reddit, Am I The Asshole?",AITA for not making the stats of a D&D item passive?,NTA
10vbd4c,"To start boyfriend is a really sweet guy, I don’t think he meant to be an asshole here but it’s coming across as inconsiderate.He’s recently been worried about his spending and wants to save more money so suggested we do something cheaper for valentines. I offered to pay to go somewhere nicer but he refused. He suggested some chain restaurants. Eventually we compromised on a mid-scale place and are splitting the bill. Now I was already a little upset about this. I don’t care about going somewhere super nice, but he had planned a couple trips recently and suddenly wanting to be frugal for Valentines hurt my feelings. Now a week later, he’s telling me he wants to go on a trip for his birthday in a few months and is sending me Airbnbs. When I confronted him about his recent desire to save money, he told me it’s in a few months so it’s different. I told him it’s hurtful that he’s prepare so far in advance to have a nice trip for his birthday but doesn’t do the same for a holiday that celebrates our relationship.AITA?",AITA for telling my boyfriend I want to do something nice for Valentines?,NTA
10vbcxl,"American in Cape Town here. Been here 6 years, moved from South Shore, Chicago, IL.My co-worker Jane (not her real name) constantly keeps talking about things like vagina and vaginal health issues, conspiracy theories about Putin and Ramaphosa being secret lovers or the U.S. Government spying on all Californians, or claiming that non-binary people are a classification invented by the U.S. Government to detect terrorists.I work in a small fashion start-up, it's just the boss (who's created owned it since 2017 and hired me based on my previous fashion experience), and a HR department of three people. It has one standalone boutique store in Cape Town, separate from our offices.I told Jane her conversation was inappropriate and that I wouldn't discuss these issues any more. She's 51, I'm 32, if that's relevant here.I said to Jane that her behavior is inappropriate and making co-workers feel sick and unhappy, and said I'd have no choice but to report her to the boss, not as a telltale, but out of genuine concern for others.AITA for telling my co-worker her behavior is so inappropriate it's gross?",AITA for telling co-worker that what she's discussing is inappropriate at best?,NTA
10vbcik,"Long story short:I am a 4th year med student who is graduating in May.  Since 1st year, I've wanted to go on a short 10-14 day Europe trip.  I was going to go in 2020, but the obvious stopped me.  So I've been putting together my itinerary ever since, in anticipation of going on the trip this June, before I start residency.My GF and I have dating for a little over a year, and I invited her along about 6 months ago or so.  She is currently finishing undergrad classes, and has to take summer classes.  She found out today that her classes will likely conflict with her coming on the Europe trip, and is now telling me how she hopes I don't go without her, and how sad she'll be if I go.  I'm trying to stand firm and keep the promise I made to myself to go, but I am RATTLED with guilt rn.  I have made it clear since inviting her that I hope she can come, even for a little bit, but I understand if classes conflict.  I have been trying to make it obvious that I plan to go, and would love it IF she can join.  But I feel like it's turned into ""our"" trip, even though she hasn't contributed to any planning.  WIBTA if I went without her?",WIBTA if I went on a (planned for 3 years) Europe trip without my GF of 1 year?,NTA
10vbbwq,"I (28NB) work as a bartender, and for the most part I really like it! I've been ""out"" as non-binary since 2015, and it's been fine. Sometimes strangers can be kind of rude, but all of my friends know me and use my pronouns and it's fine. As a general rule, I don't correct people when they misgender me. I had an incident once in the past where the person I corrected ended up bullying me to the point where I had to quit my job. Plus, I'm pushing 30, and I really just don't care anymore. The people in my life know who I am, and that's all that matters to me. Recently I was bartending and a patron called me ""ma'am."" She wasn't being hateful, she just had never met me before and was presumably trying to be polite. After she tabbed out and left, one of my regulars, a transwoman, asked why I didn't correct her. I just kind of shrugged and said it wasn't worth it to me to make a fleeting interaction uncomfortable for both of us. This didn't go over well, and we ended up getting into a pretty heated debate. At first, Regular thought that I was saying *no one* should correct strangers about pronouns. After I explained that that wasn't what I think at all, she said that my silence makes me complicit, and normalizes misgendering trans people. On the one hand, I do see where she's coming from - it's much harder for most transwomen to exist without being harassed  than it is for me to just be androgynous. Maybe I should be more vocal for solidarity purposes. But on the other hand, I work for tips, and I can't afford to make people mad, let alone the exhaustion of correcting 50+ people a day that I'll probably never see again. AITA for keeping quiet?",AITA for not correcting people about my pronouns?,NTA
10vb9zw,"So about 2 1/2 months ago me (f15) and my dad fought about me not being social, and it all happened because I refuse a hug? He started going on a rant and saying how I don’t socialize with others. At the end he said he’ll take me to the psychologist, I didn’t believe him cause he always forgets things so I said sure. Then yesterday my mom came up and said I have an appointment on wednesday with a psychologist. I wouldn’t say i’m scared just a bit nervous. Am I really arguing over something dumb or not?",AITA for thinking it’s unnecessary for me to have “social help?”,NTA
10vb8tf,So I have a close friend of mine (as I told him I was gay which I told very few people about) and recently he was saying how he is so trustworthy to me when I was hesitant to tell him about an advancement in my romantic life and i brought up the fact the a year ago he said to a group of our friends that I was gay (right in front of me!) and how was that trustworthy.He then said it was late at night and a long time ago and how I should get over it.I was really annoyed but it go me thinking about if I was being unreasonable holding something like that against him after all this time.,AITA for not getting ‘’over it’’ when my friend outed me as gay?,NTA
10vb7eg,"I was making a dessert with a mango flavour which required mangos. I made a ganache with 2/3 of the mangos in a tin and the remainder I was using as a purée for the centre. I left the remainder Tinned mangos in the fridge to continue on the dessert the lecture day, since it was late at night when I started the dessert which needed to set in the fridge overnight. My mom knew I was in the kitchen making the dessert that night, the tin was bought and opened yesterday so was not turning bad. When I woke up to discover the mango tins gone, I asked if she moved the remainder mangos. She said she gave them to my brother. Obviously, in the moment I was angry because I had the perfect amount to make the purée the next day and that was the only tin I had. I told my brother that I was annoyed at mom for giving him the mangos, he told me he didn’t even eat the mangos. Then I overheard her tell the rest of the family that they were mushy and needed to be thrown out so that’s what she did. Hearing this made me become even angrier because they’re obviously going to be a bit softer then normal since they come in syrup from the tin and she’s telling the rest of the family how it’s my fault that I left them in the fridge. Like where was I meant to keep them? In my room? What I’m annoyed about the most is she does this all the time. She doesn’t ask when she takes my things, so when I need them they’re gone. So am I being dramatic?",AITA for asking my mom why she took my mangos,YTA
10vb6er,I use my fiancé’s card to cover all of my expenses as I stopped working after I had our baby/we got engaged. He’s never cared about what I’ve spent money on in the past and always reminds me that I can buy whatever I want so I didn’t think it would be an issue for me to buy my aunt a designer bag to celebrate her 50th birthday but it is.He’s upset because I bought the bag for my aunt but he thinks I try not to use his money on myself which is sort of true. The bag is the most expensive thing I’ve ever bought with his money and it’s something I’ve wanted to do for her for a long time and that I was saving for before I stopped working. The way he said I was quick to use his money on other people really upset me so I told him I would send it back but he told me not too because that wasn’t his point.I’ve been angry at him for the last few days and we keep arguing which hasn’t been fun. During one argument I told him I would use all of his money and then he would have a real reason to complain but he keeps saying I’m intentionally misunderstanding him.AITA?,AITA for using my fiancé’s card to buy my aunt a designer bag for her birthday?,YTA
10vb4yh,"I have a band and we were making a love song but I was the only one in a happy relationship so they asked me about my bf, why I like him, how he confessed, etc. But when I told my boyfriend about it he got kinda mad because it was embarrassing for him. I kind of freaked out since I had no idea and I hate the idea of making someone I love upset and was about to cry. I asked a band member about it and he said that since the song was about my bf it shouldn't have been a problem. I told my bf that it was a song referenced off of him and he said that he hoped he wouldn't cringe. I don't know how to feel about it because my other band members said that they would be so happy if their SO's wrote them a song. Also one of the band members is my bf's friend so that's probably why he is so embarrassed. But from what I can tell my bf's friend is completely nonchalant about it and only thinking about it from the business point of view. I won't repeat this mistake again of course. Is there any way I can make it up to my boyfriend?P.S: Yes I've tried apologising but I don't think he is calm enough to accept it yet.",AITA for telling my band members about how my boyfriend and I'd cringey confession?,INFO
10vawaa,"Me and My partner (lets call him Tim) have been together for a few months now. I met him in my college and we just connected, for some relevant context we are in a friend group and everyone is friends with everyone, Tim is rude and the group will tell you that themselves(this is also relevant) Back to the story so me, tim and David (all fake names) were all together in my room. Me and David were trying to study hard for an important assignment for college. Tim was blaring his music out really loud and i asked him politely “please turn that down we are trying to study or at least put your headphones in”. Tim completely ignored me and then David decided to turn his music down. Tim got angry and turned it up again. I then told david “i really dont like that song its just annoying”, david agreed with me and tim heard me and told me to stop being disrespectful to him and that he never tells me to turn my music off (i do not listen to music when i am around him, if i do i have headphones in). Tim then told me never to speak to him again and he stormed out the house. David said he was just being a big b!tch and i said i wouldn’t talk to him until he speaks to me. Yes i am being petty i am well aware of that but this isn’t the first time he has told me to never speak to him. Am i the a-hole? If you want more info i will reply to all comments",AITA for doing what i was told by my partner?,NTA
10vanf8," **Disclaimer:**I'm not a native English speaker. I used Grammarly to write this post, and it showed tonnes of errors. I didn't know how to fix them. So, if you find anything in the story that (grammatically) makes no sense, I apologise in advance.**Story:**For context, I made [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/entitledparents/comments/u7fm83/my_dad_demands_my_salary/) post in another subreddit a few months ago. To make the story short, my dad has always been abusive towards me. It slowly changed when I got a job and started demanding a part of my salary (thinking he deserved it since he raised me).A lot has happened since then. I got diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder. I was prescribed meds, some of which are highly narcotic. So, when I take them, I either get super sleepy or grumpy. So, to avoid problems, I would sleep for a few hours after taking the meds. This way, I can avoid interacting with others while I'm under (if I worded it right).Now, let's jump to the present. My birthday was a month ago. So, I felt like visiting my family and having a good time as I thought we could put our differences away and spend some time together as a ""family."" I thought that my family would've moved forward since my last visit. I didn't expect them to welcome me with open hands but that they would adjust their inner thought for just a few days.God, was I wrong! Firstly the whole house was a mess. I had to clean and cook something fresh (every food item was rotten). Most irritatingly, every single adult in the family avoided me. When I play with the kids - which I love doing - they would be given obnoxious jobs. At one point, I just went out to take some time for myself. I had to buy my own birthday cake and gift(s) - which isn't new at this point.After I tried to blend in with a few of them, one of my cousins (who's in high school right now) told me that my dad explicitly told everyone not to entertain me in any way. That enraged me.I crashed into the room where my dad was and called him useless. He got angry and yelled at me, saying stuff like, *""What haven't I done for you?"", ""You owe me everything that's yours!""* etc. (which made me laugh, not sad). After I didn't comply, he told me to get out of his house. I smirked and told him I would be moving out anyway (since I have my own place now), even if he didn't tell me that. I reminded him that He doesn't know how anything works. He doesn't even know where to throw away the garbage (it's 50m from the main door, FYI). Also, he's too slow even if he did know how everything works. He might've been good in his prime days 60-70 years ago, but now he can walk at a speed of 0.2 m/s.This time, I decided never to head back until they call me to come back themselves. So, AITA for doing this?",AITA for calling my dad useless?,NTA
10vai1g,"My life was hell in high school, constantly bullied, money stolen from me and I was even beaten up once or twice. My family never ONCE got involved and tried to stop it (the school didn’t neither but teachers never really help anyway). It still affects me to this day. My psychiatrist said my feelings are valid. What do you think?",AITA for still being angry because my family done nothing to stop my bullying that happened 16 years ago,INFO
10v9eah,"Backstory: ive posted about this guy before, you can read my post history, I can’t describe him in 3000 characters. Autistic roommate, 5 people total, in Jan 23' 2 people left and subletted. 3/6 people who have lived with him find him unbearable. NEVER cleans up after his cat; doesnt do dishes in a week, leaves laundry wet and dry for 12 hours each, and leaves the fire hazard of a laundry filter. He also gets a discount on rent to do our whole buildings’ trash but he’s taken a month break from that… basically, he forgets things on a weekly basis, its been 4 months.Over the past month, ive ignored him when he tries to barge into convos, nearly yelled at him, and followed through on the nice and serious talk too (done it before but this time was SERIOUS). About a week ago i thanked him for making progress in cleaning, and then said as long as he promises to be considerate and clean, i wont care about his cat on the couch either. He then seemed really happy to cooperate and thankful for the leniency, even ordered a lint roller to clean after the cat…​Problem: the exact day i talk to him, he again left the house for a FULL WEEK, as mentioned in previous posts, his door is open 24/7, it smells like cat shit cuz he cleans litter once a month, and we have to somehow care for the cat. He also left dishes in the sink. After coming back, he instantly brings up how he forgot the lint roller at home (he had already forgot to order it for 2 weeks, and he’s also mentioned a vacuum for a month but i guess thats forgotten too) He also did a load of Laundry the day he came back, which sat for a total of 16ish hours, and the dryer filter was again not cleaned after. In the 24 hours after he came back, he also somehow managed to stack 3 full cups of liquid on the kitchen counter, barely drank from.​He is improving, but at a snails pace: Bought a lint roller to clean? Forgot it at home; Thanked him for dish washing progress? Immediately forgets for a week; only took 16 hours to do laundry this time? Still too long, and still didnt clean the filter; Promised to clean after his cat? Abandons her to us for a week, the day he promised to clean after herSince ive talked to him nicely, aggressively, seriously, and most importantly: MANY TIMES. Ive basically made up my mind to email the landlord about eviction. AITA for doing this? Yall can see he is making progress, but to me, his progress is not even getting him to the bare minimum, regardless of autism or not. Because although he may be making this tiny progress in cleaning, he is still just as loud and inconsiderate about noise, and im just tired of talking to this guy, its been 4 months of reminding from my POV. I am not his caretaker I am a studentAm I starting to become “that roommate”? I know that people did agree with me when he was giving me attitude, but now that he is kind of making progress, AITA?",AITA for trying to kick out my autistic roommate who's improving his behaviour?,NTA
10v8r3p,"On vacation in England now. Well, London actually. We've come over to meet my friend, Jane, who's in her 30s (Fake name used) who I met online during the pandemic.Me and my husband went to a restaurant in London yesterday, and it turned into a shitshow. We're a couple in our 40s.Husband kept telling the young waiter how foxy and sexy he was and asking him for his phone number, and I nearly facepalmed.He then was asking the waiter if he'd come to meet him in our hotel room and said that it was worth it for him, and he didn't give a hoot about what else he had to do. He also gave the waiter OUR PHONE NUMBER and told him to come and meet us back in Bethesda and to bring us some of the cakes from the restaurant if he could get some.Later that day, I told my husband he was a jerk and embarrassed me in there. I said to him I wouldn't invite him to meet my friend if he kept up this behavior.We're also here to meet some fellow Americans living in London too, I've got two friends from Bethesda living here who I used to know from my days working in a pizza restaurant there.He's not normally like this and before now, hasn't shown any behaviors which make me think he's gay.But he was like a dog on heat, it was fucking weird. Not to mention some kid with a cameraphone recording the whole thing, I hope to god it's not on here or TikTok.AITA for telling my husband straight out, after the waiter served our expensive meals, that he behaved like a jerk and embarrassed us?",AITA for telling my husband he was a jerk for the way he kept treating the waiter?,NTA
10v9vrx,"Backstory, my fiancée and I have been together for about 4 years. She has two kids (12f, 15f) with shared custody. It’s an odd arrangement, she has them Jan-June. Early September, she moved into our house. My daughter ‘Charlie’ is 10. For the record, up until recently she has been an amazing mother figure to Charlie. Our first issue was back in November as we discussed bedroom arrangements. She felt her eldest should have a room of her own while living here 6 months out of the year. That would cause Charlie to bunk with her youngest. I however did not allow it because that would encroach Charlie and likely cause her to feel alienated in her own home. Last weekend I was called in and worked a 12hr shift. When I arrived home, Charlie was upset because they went out to eat and left her home. She said when they came back, she was handed a bag of takeout and the food was stone cold. I asked my fiancée to elaborate, to which she confirmed taking only her girls out to an early dinner then took them to play mini golf. Hence why the food was cold, it sat in the car as they played. She kept deflecting to the food, saying she didn’t expect her to eat it cold, she could have warned it up herself. I kept insisting it was extremely rude to exclude Charlie from the outing. She came back with…”But I brought her food home.” She then asked, “Why is it ok for you to go out with just Charlie?” That’s different, in the last 30 days her kids have been here, Charlie and I have only gone grocery shopping or on one occasion took her cat to the vet. That can’t even be compared to what she did.We didn’t come to any sort of an agreement. Friday she was taking her girls to the dentist. On the way out she made the snarky comment, “I hope this doesn’t offend Charlie too.” It pissed me off she said that, I called her feral. We both later apologized, but she then started the argument back up. She said it was so rude of me to argue about her taking her kids out. She further said, “I don’t see my kids for 6 months, excuse the hell out of me for wanting to spend time alone with them.” I understood her point, but I felt like we could periodically plan separate outings on the same day so no one feels excluded. She kinda threw the bedroom ordeal in my face and said, “My kids might feel alienated from their own mother if they can’t enjoy time alone with me.” She made the pointless remark that her kids have no problem with her doing things with Charlie while they’re living with their father. She further argued that there will be many times when Charlie will be excluded because of the age gap between her and the eldest. I told her if she expects things to workout, she would need to treat Charlie as one of her daughters. She said I was entirely missing her point because I don’t know what it’s like having shared custody. Me scolding her for spending time with them as she said was a ‘bitch-ass’ move.",AITA for arguing with my fiancée after she left my child at home and took only her kids on an outing?,NTA
10vccne,"Three years ago my wife and kids wore me down and I agreed to let them get a dog.  I am not a dog person.  They seem like very fine people but they are just not for me.   The deal was that I wouldn't have to walk it or clean up after it and that they would take care of it.  It went fine for about a year and a half.   But once the damn thing was out of its puppy phase they lost most interest.  So for about two years now I have been walking it because it needs exercise.  I have to buy it food because my wife forgets.  I have to walk around the back yard before I mow to make sure I'm not going to run over it's turds.  I'm done.  I came home yesterday and it had chewed up a pair of my shoes.   I waited until dinner and then I laid down the law.   Thay poor thing is going stir crazy.   It is used to getting their attention and stuff all the time because of COVID.  Now that they can do other stuff they are ignoring it.  It isn't fair to the dog and it isn't fair to me.  I said that if they didn't have time to walk it they could play with it in the back yard.  But that if I found any turds back there that I was hiring a service to keep the yard clean but the money was coming out of their allowances or the house budget.  I said I wasn't buying any more food.  If there was no food and the dog wasn't fed I would be hiring someone to watch the dog and once again they would be paying for it.  They got upset with me because the dog likes me and it's obviously my dog.  Of course the thing likes me, I take care of it, which I don't want to do.  So I brought out our agreement which I made them all sign.  Not my responsibility.  I said they had three choices.  Take care of the dog, rehome the dog, or pay someone else to take care of the dog.  They all think I'm being too harsh but I don't think so. I didn't want it on the first place. I've already checked with a friend of mine. She likes dogs and has agreed to take it if my family cannot follow through.  My wife says that I'm being an asshole with this ultimatum.  I think it's fair.  AITA?",AITA for telling my wife and kids to either take care of their dog or rehome it.,NTA
10vc179,"   I (37f) have 6 kids (15f, 13m, 11m, 9f and 6f, 2m) with my husband (37m). Recently, one of my sisters (31f) asked to temporarily move in with us because of repairs being done to her home, which is not up to code. She has a husband (31m) and a son (10m). My nephew is not a good kid, he’s a bully and frequently misbehaves. However, I decided to let her family stay anyways.Our 13 y/o is autistic, he’s a very bright boy and actually quite popular, but he still struggles with sensory issues, social interactions, ect. As I mentioned, he’s still popular and social, mainly because he’s an athlete. Our son plays baseball and lacrosse and is friends with the popular group of athlete boys in his school. These boys do everything together, they hang out pretty much every day until bedtime, they help each other with homework, play video games, ect. It’s really sweet how close they are. The boys helped manage my son’s successful run for school president and are always each other’s biggest supporters. Our son is closer to these boys then he is to family, our son doesn’t like hugs, except for these boys, he tells them secrets he doesn’t tell family. My nephew seems to have an issue with this, and has pushed my son’s boundaries since arriving.Yesterday, I was dropping of my son at one of his friend’s houses. The boy he is friends with collects all sorts of stuff, including fragile busts of athletes. My sister and her son decided to tag along with us while dropping him off. It turns out that my nephew is in the same class as this boy’s sister. Judging from the stories I’ve heard, my son’s friend’s sister is also a little terror. My son went with his friend, my nephew with his friend, while we sat in the car talking to the mom of the boy and girl. While we were sitting, the boys come rushing out to tell us that while they had left the room to go in kitchen, my nephew went in the boy’s room and was touching with stuff, he ended up breaking 2 busts. Thankfully, with the boys help, we found replacements online and bough them. The total cost came to around $500, which their parents could afford, but so could my sister. My sister said she didn’t want to pay for them because she didn’t want to make her son feel bad for making his mom have to pay for this. The other mom went in the house, while we argued in the car. I told her that if she didn’t pay back, she’d have to find someone else to stay with, so she ended up forking over the money. She told her son about it and he said we were being unfair and this wouldn’t have happened if my son and his friends just “did what I say”. My sister is still upset at me and some of our siblings have chimed in to take her side, saying I was being too punitive on her son. AITA?",AITA for making my sister pay back for damages her son caused?,NTA
10vf2xc,"I (15F) live with my dad and brother (13M).My dad gives us no allowance and just has us asks us to tell him when we need something. When my dad taught me how to handle my period we lived in a different country and he gave me a reusable pad, which is just some cloth and told me to wash them when they got dirty. He never got me pads or tampons and said that this was better.Some years back we moved to the UK and here my school has pads and tampons in the loo. Recently I decided to start taking some of them and taking extra to take home. I do not mind the reusable one my dad gave me but I find them less convenient as I have to wash them and they do not fit as well which has led to a few embarrassing incidents at school. Luckily though none of my classmates were ever mean about it.My dad recently found the used tampons in the bin and he got angry with me then found the extra tampons and pads I stole from school in my room. He forbade me from taking them again and threw them out. I got upset since I am the one who does most of the chores like emptying the bins so he should not have seen it.I do not understand, my teachers specifically said we could take extra if we needed so I do not think it is stealing. In my other country I know girls use both cloth and pads and tampons but here in the UK everyone uses the disposable products. My dad also makes me eat after my brother and him when I am on my period even when I do the cooking and it bothers me as the other girls at school do not have to do this. He says this is respect for our culture and nothing about germs.Edit: I cannot do anything that will get my dad or family in trouble. We are not citizens here and I do not want issues for our visas. I want to leave home when I go to university and I am waiting for us to get indefinite leave to remain status. My dad expects to find a boy for me to marry from a nice family but I know he cannot force me to do that here, so I pretend like I will do that until I am an adult.","AITA for ""stealing"" tampons and pads from school.",NTA
10vclx4,"My (32F) husband (33M) and I have been together for 11 years, married for nine and have two children, 3 and 1. Things have been complicated with his mom and sister since we got married and there have been several periods of no contact. In the last year, we have been working on things with his mom and it’s going fine. Since our 3 yr old was born, we have only seen his sister twice and we keep our distance; despite living in the same town and working in the same industry, our paths don’t cross, thankfully. About 4 years ago his sister and I were hanging out and things got a little heated and we were yelling at each other, in that moment, unbeknownst to me, she started recording the conversation. As soon as I realized it, she walked to show my husband and my husband and I left. I had a lawyer send a request to delete the video which she refused to do. My husband and I never spoke to her again and don’t miss it. This weekend we ran into her at a family event and she privately cornered just me and was insistent that she meet my children and come back into our lives. I was clear that the recording was a serious violation of trust and my privacy but her response was “she’s never done anything with it.” It’s worth noting, she didn’t apologize for it and she didn’t say she deleted it. She and MIL think I need to “just get over it” because my kids should meet their aunt. My husband is not interested in a relationship with his sister for a variety of reasons but regardless…am I the asshole for not letting her meet my children?",AITA for not letting my sister in law meet my kids,NTA
10vbtrv,"Good morning, all. TL;DR at the bottom.I (22F) have been with my boyfriend (23M) for almost three years now. In that three year period, he has met basically my entire family. I have a very big, very close-knit family. On the flip-side, his family is a lot smaller and a lot less close-knit. He has an estranged sister who his mom forbids him from having a relationship with, a couple of aunts that he hasn’t seen in awhile, and a grandfather who is really getting up there in age that he hasn’t seen since he was a kid. I have only met his parents. My boyfriend had a dream that his grandfather died, and it spooked him, so he reached out to his grandfather that same day. He found out that his grandfather is not doing great health wise, so he decided he should go and visit him. He picked a time to go and has the trip all planned. When he first started planning the trip, I said I would love to help him plan it and go with him. I thought maybe he could use some support. I mean, he’s going to see his dying grandfather, who he hasn’t seen in years. It seems like it might be sort of emotionally tolling. He was VERY against the idea of me going, and it seemed to upset him that I had even suggested it. He said he just wants to have his own time with his grandfather. I completely understood this and backed off right away. Now, here’s where I think I might be the asshole. I found out recently that he’s taking a friend with him on this trip. Apparently there are a lot of rock-climbing opportunities in the state where his grandfather lives, and they’re going to take advantage of that on this trip. I will admit, this rubbed me the wrong way and I was upset. I brought the subject up again because I was pretty annoyed, and he got mad and told me, and I quote, “To plan my own trips and stop trying to hitchhike on mine.” Like, what? Then he said I could invite him on a trip I plan, but I’m not going on this one with him and to get over it. I was mad. I was upset. I felt angry and dismissed. So, I booked an all-inclusive trip to Mexico for about 2 months after his trip to “see his grandfather”, and I didn’t invite him. I’m going to go and spend time being warm and getting tipsy on a beach. He thinks it was petty of me to do that, and not ask if he wants to come, too. He claims I’m the one being dismissive of the fact that he just wants to visit his grandfather without me there. He says that this trip is way different than the one he’s going on. I told him to plan his own trips and stop trying to hitchhike on mine. He wasn’t impressed.AITA for planning this trip and not asking if he wants to come? TL;DR: My boyfriend is going on a trip to see his grandfather, and he told me he just wants to go alone when I expressed an interest in going. I found out he’s bringing a friend along with him on the trip, and so I booked an all-inclusive trip to Mexico and didn’t invite him. He thinks I was being petty and an asshole.",AITA for booking an all-inclusive trip to another country and not inviting my boyfriend?,NTA
10vdset,"Ok so let me explain.I lost a 2500$ weight loss bet. The bet was on who could lose 20 pounds faster. Me and my roommate agreed that if I won she would pay me 2500$, and that if she won I would have to go on a ""punishment diet"" for a month.Basically I can only eat gross food she cooks for me all month.So far she has made flavorless oatmeal with protein powder added for most of my meals.She is only letting me drink sparkling water (because one time I complained about it).She has told me that if I am to drink coffee it must be black and cannot have milk or creamer.She gave me nasty baby food once and really made me eat it for diner and or go hungry.One day she gave me a coca cola, and I was surprised she was allowing it to me, but then she showed me an empty package of ""flatulence inducing prank powder"" after I had drank half of it.She also bought me 10 crab hotdogs, and said I need to eat them all before the month ends (THEY TASTE LIKE LITTERAL BUTTHOLE).I told her I cant take the bet anymore and that the punishment is too much.   To which she reminded me of when we last made a bet like this and I made her eat pickles with milk (but that was only for 3 days).     Im trying to tell her I cant take it, but she just said ""put on your big girl panties and just eat your crab hot dogs, you would have took the money if you won"".   She also claims that losing 2500 dollars is equal to what Im going through, and offered to let me buy my way out.WIBTA for ending this without paying the bribe?",WIBTA if I did not follow through with a bet that requires I eat nasty food all month?,YTA
10vdlpr,"My uncle passed away last year from cancer and it was and still has been very tough on our family. He left behind 3 children, Max (34M), Lin (32F), and Amy (30F). Lin and Amy are very career driven and are successful. Max is not. He is a persistent mooch and extremely lazy.Currently, Max is living in a house given by his mother. He owes over 10k in taxes, has 2 broke down vehicles, and has on and off jobs. He smokes weed constantly and can barely afford food for him, his wife, and their dog. His water and power have been shut off due to him not paying for said utilities. His wife works a part time job because she doesn’t have any experience and recently received her green card and work papers. (They got married on the K-1 visa).My uncle left each child $25,000 in separate accounts. Lin and Amy haven’t touched theirs because they haven’t needed to use it. Max has blown through it completely, but he hasn’t touched the debt he’s deeply in. Max gets jobs, but he works long enough to get fired and earn unemployment benefits. He has talked about this and always says “oh just didn’t work out.” My uncle got him a job with a friend, but the friend told my uncle that “Max sits around when he’s on the job or doesn’t even show up.” Hence he’s fired.My uncle lived in the house I currently reside in (owned by my mother and father), and Max would stay here for weeks on end with his wife and dog. My uncle was debilitated and they let him live in filth. Fleas were everywhere, roaches and silverfish too. This is a 1000 sq ft space. It was foul and completely abhorrent how they allowed him to live in this state.When my uncle left to live in Lin’s home, Max was still up here for about a week. When my mother and I came to check it out, the entire place looked as if someone had a food fight as well as a frat party. Fleas and the other bugs still very evident.It took 2 months to clean. Now, just last night, Max texted me asking for a place to stay until he can ‘get on his feet’. The IRS is repossessing the house and his vehicles. I told him last night, “I cannot take you in due to how much of a mess you left. I hope you find a place soon.” He called me an AH and has been trashing me to the family. My parents agree that Max, his wife, and dog shouldn’t be living with me either. AITA?",AITA for not taking my cousin in,NTA
10vdg0t,"I 39f am married to my husband. We have a big big family. I have 3 children that I have adopted, Miguel12, Ryan12, Lisa9. I adopted all of them as baby or toddlers. Then I also have 3 biological children James14, Ella7 and Eve4.  Bio or not it doesn’t matter to me but it is relevant to the story. I love my family, my other family members love my family so I never thought this would be an issue. February 1st my mom flew in for the first time in 5 years to stay for a week. She has seen my children a few time prior over the years. When she came she brought abunch of gifts for all the kids. The issue was there was significantly many more gifts for my bio children. I was a little set off by that but my husband just said to let it go and we’ll get them something special.  Then I noticed she was only super cuddly with my bio kids, and Lisa actually called her “grandma” and my mother made a face. That night, she only tucked in my bio kids. That’s what sent me over. I pulled her aside and asked her about it and her first excuse was “well they are too old to be tucked in” I said well James is 14 and still did it, and Lisa is still young.” Then I confronted her on her attitude, she told me they weren’t technically her real grand children and just because I wanted to open my home to strangers kids shouldn’t affect her, she was nice to them and brought them gifts as well, and that’s all that should’ve mattered.This upset me greatly and I told her to take her bags and leave. She started to cry and asked me where she was suppose to go. My sisters is a 45 minute drive or I told her to get a hotel, either one. She called me an AH and left. My sister called me angrily bc I made mom cry. My husband thinks I might’ve went too far kicking her out, but I was defending my family.",AITA for kicking my mom out the first time she visited in 5 years?,NTA
10vbzfe,"My wife got a decent job offer from another country to start in a role in August. This country is literally on the other side of the world.She didn't tell me anything about her plan nor that she had applied for the position. I only heard about it a few weeks ago when she was entering second stage interviews. Mind you, we have two children as well.I am not in a position to switch country just like that. I have debt and other liabilities I need to look after and have a plan for. I would have to find a similar job there with an equally good pay. Now, after looking into the country, salary levels, etc., I feel that a move there would be exotic and tempting, but absolutely not feasible or financially smart.The move alone would end up costing thousands if not over 10K, rent deposits, etc. Finding good daycare/schools, etc.Well, I am sure you all can imagine what is included in a move like that. I know it has been her vison to live and work abroad at some stage, but I feel she skipped so many steps that I honestly feel a bit confused why she decided to go about it like so.Today, after listing all the pros and cons down, talking to her peacefully and explaining why it is not a good idea to just go with it, why it is not responsible, financials, etc., she shut down. It was like I took all her energy.I can sense she resents me for this, like I do not support her. But I feel this was too big first of all for her to start planning on her own.I feel I have been reasonable and considered the big picture, but she is definitely taking this hard.AITA? Should I have entertained this thought further or go about it differently?",AITA for rejecting my wife's plan to move abroad?,NTA
10vevix,"I (27f) have a cousin (30f) who has pushed my last button. We were close-ish as children, she lives in a different city but we were thick as thieves when we were together. Into teenagerhood and adulthood, her attitude has started to affect me and our family more. Her mom never really said “no” to her much growing up and she got away with a lot because she had a rough childhood in general and they never had money. This didn’t affect me until we got older and she started making everything about her. For example, one year at our GIANT family Christmas she was going around pulling people aside telling them she had Post-Partum Depression after her first child. I sympathized with her, but it was so inappropriate for the setting. She also didn’t really need to be telling our extended family and taking up time they could have spent catching up with others they hadn’t seen all year. Her behavior is so bad, many family members have cut her out of their own lives for the purpose of mitigating drama. She never gets invited to weddings. She also takes advantage of family members that still giver her attention.Her sons first birthday was on my college graduation date. I was the first grandchild to graduate with a college degree and my grandparents were so excited to come see me walk. She scheduled his party for the same day knowing my graduation was that day. My grandparents told her they wouldn’t be at the party and you guessed it, it caused a complete blow up on her part. I brushed it off until 2 years later. Her parents moved out of state. Our moms (sisters) planned a whole Easter weekend so her parents could see their daughters/grandchildren, and we live halfway between the 2 cities. My mom spent time and money to make it PERFECT and magical for everyone. Our grandparents were also coming (which they don’t do often due to age).3 days before they were supposed to be arriving, I find out my cousin has canceled the whole weekend because she had a panic attack. No one was coming. If this was an isolated event it would be one thing. But it seems over the last 5-6 years, something always happens that sends our ENTIRE family into a tailspin based on 1 person.I’ve struggled with mental health for 10 or so years but have never let if affect family affairs. I called my cousin because my mom was crying and mad. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back for a lot of us. I got on her about this constantly being a problem. I suggested in the future if she didn’t feel comfortable attending a holiday to keep it to herself.She got mad at me & told at least 20 other extended family members that I yelled at her for having mental health concerns (which isn’t at all true).I haven’t spoken to her in almost 2 years because she refuses to do anything but sweep it under the rug. I, however, want an adult conversation before moving forward. AITA?",AITA for calling my cousin out after ruining holidays for years?,NTA
10vdpwl,"My daughter’s (17f) best friend (17f) has been staying with us for about seven months. She has stayed with us a few times in the past after she and her mother got into fights, but that was just for a few days or overnight. This time seems to be more permanent (which we are totally fine with), at least until she goes to college. My daughter, her friend, and my son are all seniors. They have senior fees coming up, the total amount is almost around $1000. Senior fees cover graduation, photos, trips, etc..My husband and I already have to pay both our daughter and our sons fees. Plus they also have prom coming up. The mother of my daughters friend isn’t paying any of her fees. My husband and I agreed that we wouldn’t pay it either, we cannot afford to spend that much money on someone who isn’t our child. We did talk to our daughter and told her if she wanted to sit out on some senior activities, to give her friend half her money she could. My daughter basically threw a tantrum and said we’re being unfair, she says her friend is already living with us and “treated like part of the family” so she should be treated equally and given the same opportunities. I do feel terrible that she has to miss out on senior activities. I also feel a little guilty about it, but she isn’t my child and I shouldn’t be forced to pay just because her own mother won’t. AITA?",AITA for not paying for my daughter’s friend senior fees,NTA
10vc93n,"Quick reference points: I am a male (28) and I live with my girlfriend (27). We have lived here for almost a year. This particular situation has gone on since we moved in.The apartment that I live in shares a wall with the apartment to my left, the only shared wall we have with this particular apartment. Unfortunately, that shared wall is actually the divider between the two bedrooms. Inherently, this really isn't a huge issue. I've had shared walls like this before, and the nature of noise within shared living complexes is something that I am familar with and have a tolerance for given the circumstances.All of this being said, I have a reached a breaking point with the volume at which my neighbor yells when he is climaxing. It feels almost comical to type this out, because I almost feel like \*I\* am the one at fault here for caring so much, and it is truly difficult to emphasize the loudness through text.At least 3-5 times a week, at all kinds of random times of day, my neighbor climaxes so loudly that I can hear it clear as day in my apartment. It is usually a combination of intense moaning with \*many\* ""oh fuck, fuck, fuck"" or some sort of variation of swear words. I almost wouldn't even care if the intensity and frequency were somewhat balanced. But this shit happens often, and never goes unheard. At first it was kind of funny. My girlfriend and I laughed it off and were just excited to be moved in and living together. But we've reached a point where it's just starting to be flat out invasive. I reached my breaking point when I was on a Microsoft Teams meeting (I work from home) and as I was updating my team on my work for the week, this dude maxxed the fuck out. It was so loud and vulgar that i just left the meeting and came back on chalking it up to ""my internet going out"". Given the sexual and personal nature of what's happening, after finally having enough I wrote a note explaining that this guy needs to get a grip when he climaxes, and that it is invasively loud, too frequent, and is entirely devoid of consideration for the people around him. I did mention the business meeting scenario as well. I left the note in the windshield of this guy's car.I did not sign the letter because my girlfriend isn't particularly keen on me drawing attention to ourselves, but I just couldn't let this shit keep going unchecked.AITA here because I just need to not dictate someone's sex life, or do I have grounds here for trying to not feel violated in my own home??",AITA for telling my apartment neighbor to get a grip on how loudly he's climaxing?,NTA
10vcjjl,"Somebody in our extended family recently came out as gay. I was worried for them, because I know some of the attitudes that some members of our extended family hold on this. The worst reaction came from one of my aunts, who even went as far as to refer to him with terms like ""groomer"", and said that she does not want him near her children anymore, because she both does not want them to be groomed, and does not want her children ""exposed to that crap"".In response to this, I have said that I will no longer be attending any events where my aunt will be present, both in disgust as to her behavior and in support of this person in my family who came out as gay. I want to be an ally, and I also do NOT want to be around people like my aunt anymore. She is a loudmouth, and I do not want to be around her while she runs  her mouth about how terrible of a person he is and how upset she is about ""the gays"" infiltrating the family. People like this infuriate me and keeping them in my life in any way only serves to add toxicity.Soon, we will be having a big family reunion. Of course, my aunt will be present. I have made it clear that this is no exception, if she attends I will not be present. Everybody is upset at me over this. Even the people in my family who are allies and vehemently disagree with how my aunt is acting have urged me to attend, in order to ""keep the peace"". I have been told to ""grin and bear it""  and just ignore my aunt. I have stayed firm and will not be attending this reunion as long as my aunt is there, which has made some in my family upset and accuse me of ""fanning the flames"" and starting more ""unnecessary drama"".  AITA?",AITA for refusing to attend a family reunion where my homophobic aunt will be present?,NTA
10vdien," Original Post: [https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10qxxm8/aita\_for\_refusing\_to\_lie\_for\_my\_wife/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10qxxm8/aita_for_refusing_to_lie_for_my_wife/)The inspection came and went. The good news, there was no drama. I warned the agent about what happened and my wife filled her in on the family backstory. She was very understanding. FIL did not bring step-MIL, but did bring up the ""cousin"" thing ...... as expected, he waited until I was not in the room. He seemed convinced he had met her at a family gathering before (lol!), and she even played along.It turned out for the best, because there was no drama. I did not get put in a position of being a liar myself or letting the cat out of the bag on my wife, and there were no hurt feelings on the other side either. That's not to say this won't come up again down the road. My wife is actually more resolved now to rip the band-aid off.",UPDATE: AITA for refusing to lie for my wife?,NTA
10vcxfz,Me (24m) and my gf (22f) have been together over 2 years. I work full time and she works part time and is at uni. I work from home most of the time and when my gf is working she doesn’t start until 3pm. She normally spends the mornings doing uni work.It was my lunch break today and there was something I wanted to watch on tv so I went into the living room and switched the tv on. My gf was in there doing uni work on her laptop and asked if I minded waiting until she had finished. I asked how long she’d be she said around an hour which would take up my full lunch break. It’s the only tv we have so there was no other room I could watch it in. I pointed out she had a desk set up in another room specifically for work but she said she wanted to work in the living room.I pointed out it’s the only hour I have free and asked if she could possibly use another room while I watch tv but she refused. I pointed out I wouldn’t be able to do anything at all if I had to wait for her to be finished since my lunch break would be over but she said she didn’t want the noise of the tv while she was trying to work. I suggested she work in the spare room where her desk is set up then she would be able to work with no distractions but she refused.AITA for wanting to watch tv in my lunch break?,AITA for watching tv in my lunch break?,NTA
10vc5lb,"Hello, I’ve done something bold and something I think is a long time coming.I (34m) for many years defended and loved my father because it is who he is. I try to typically see the hood in people. We however, have had quite the rocky relationship.The spark notes version is when I was younger, he left and married into a different family but was nice a lot of the time, I spent weekends with him and my step family. As I got older he got less present and honestly I’m jealous he put a lot of effort into my younger half brother (who is now 19). He’s also said some very rude and disrespectful things to me as I’d gotten older, once asking if I could lend him money to go see his mother as she was in hospice. I didn’t have any money, I was overdrawn in my account (I was 20) at the time so I unfortunately couldn’t assist him. When she passed he got mad at me and said it was fucked up and couldn’t help him when he thinks I would have done so for my moms family (I was raised pretty much exclusively by my mom.) There are several other things I could remark on, but that’s for my therapist. The long story short is he’s never been as present or prevalent as he believes he has.Over the years, we had an on again off again good relationship, and he’s gotten ill with something called spinocerebellar ataxia. It impairs his movement and his ability to speak, he is in a motorized wheelchair now and has a hard time talking. In addition it is painful to listen to him as mentally I always remember him being in this great shape and now he’s almost unable to be understood and is declining.I texted him on his birthday wishing him a happy birthday, I didn’t call because I know it’s painful to talk. My birthday is three days later, and he sends me a scathing text message that he goes off on me and says that I should mean more to him than a text. I had told him my side and told him we should talk about our history some.Months pass, nothing comes from it. My grandmother on his sides birthday just passed and he was upset that I didn’t wish her a happy heavenly birthday. He texted me and said that it was fucked up that I don’t seem to care as much about his family as I do my moms (it shouldn’t matter but I’m biracial and he did point out that he thinks I care more about my white side than my black side.)I had enough and I didn’t think it was his place to send me such a message especially coming after my other family. So I told him I am done speaking with him until he evaluated himself as a father and comes up with a meaningful apology. Am I the asshole?Edit 1 (since things are coming up here a lot)- He communicates with most people if not all specifically via text. It hurts him to talk and his speech is almost unrecognizably slurred.- The grandmother I couldn’t give him the money to see has passed 15 years ago. He was asking me to wish her a happy heavenly birthday.",AITA for telling off my disabled father?,NTA
10vfhpb,"I (35F) have been with my partner (36M) since just before the lockdowns. We were one of those couples whose relationship got greatly sped up because of the pandemic. This has been compounded by the fact that we live in a one room home and cannot get away from each other very effectively..He is a very nice person and I love him, but we have spent a lot of time disagreeing, to the point where I have wondered if we are really compatible long term. Our most common arguments up to this point are about s3x (I'm a 1x a day girl, he's a 1x a year guy) and about interacting (I love in depth conversations and debates, he prefers peace and quiet/ parallel play). I am giving this as background because I want to make sure I am not being biased in any way..Recently, he told me he was going to buy property for him and his family. I was supportive, because that is a great investment for them. When he went to buy the property, my partner whipped out a check for $60,000. I had assumed he was going to put a downpayment on something, but no— he was buying it outright with a check for $60,000 that he could just... write. And pay. Without it bouncing..I was stunned. I have been buying groceries for the both of us 95% of the time since 2020. I knew he earned a bit more than I do (he works for himself, I do social work), but the EXTENT of it... I have been draining my savings account over and over for YEARS and often having to ask my parents for help just to feed us and put gas in the car (also my expense 95% of the time). I figured that groceries were how I contributed to the household, and that he too was more or less treading financial water trying to keep us afloat. As he has pointed out, he gets things like firewood and some systems for the house that help it function(things like ikea bookshelves). He always has had money to get himself expensive electronics (drones, etc)..My partner has no idea why I am upset about this. Every time we have discussed it, he has seemed genuinely shocked at my reaction, and no amount of my attempting to reframe it has gotten him to understand my perspective. He points out that when we get take out food (usually 1x a month) he covers it, and he covers laundry expenses (a recent development, <1 year), and he says the expensive electronics he buys he uses for his business (that much is true). He thinks I am overreacting and that I am intentionally ruining what should be a happy moment for him..I have gone to see family for couple days to clear my head. My sisters have called my partner predatory and say he's taking financial advantage of me. I feel like I am going crazy and I am doubting myself every minute... Please, internet, AITA for feeling taken advantage of here?.**TL,DR:** Partner managed to save $60,000 while I have been financially struggling due to buying groceries for both of us for years. I feel very hurt, but he has no idea why I am upset about this and thinks I am overreacting. AITA?","AITA for being hurt that my partner saved $60,000 while I have been financially struggling for years buying groceries for us?",INFO
10vcyik,"My husband and I have been married over 8 years.  When we were dating we did some partying that included festivals, clubs, raves, drinking and drugs.  It's not normally something I'm into but hey, every once in a while, why not let loose?  I was in a new town and dating a new fun guy.  A few months into dating I made clear that the partying was not a lifestyle for me and that if we were to continue dating, drugs could not be a part of our life.  Now we are nearing our 40's and he still goes out occasionally to clubs and festivals to drink and do drugs.  Maybe a few times a year.   He is open and honest about the alcohol and drug use.  He says that music is his passion and he really loves the DJ's and that sometimes he gets fomo when he sees all the people partying on social media.  He did get to party a lot in his 20's, which I feel like can be an important part of growing up and having fun and making memories and experiences that will last a life time. Most of the time he goes by himself as I will not longer go to these things and he doesn't have any friends who like that sort of thing either.  His excessive drinking and dishonesty with drug use in the past had nearly drove us to divorce.  I only came back when he went through AA and got his drinking under control.  He has gotten a DUI in the past before I met him, and until I put my foot down he still was driving with a bac higher than legally allowed when we met.  The drugs are definitely not legal.  All the common club drugs that are popular these days.  I toleratehis occasional partying even though I don't agree with it because he supports my cycling and outdoor hobbies.  Twice I've taken a week to do a cycling tour with a friend (a guy friend if it matters).  He supports me if I want to take outdoor classes or go backpacking with friends even if he doesn't care to go.   Am I being unreasonable and possessive if I don't want him to go?  If music and festivals are really his passion the way the outdoors is for me... how could I say no to that?  I don't really ever want to be the one to tell someone ""no"", I'm not his mother or the police.  Otherwise we have a great relationship.  We love each other's company and spend most of our free time together.  We exercise together and try to live mostly healthy in the mean time.  We are not suspicious or jealous people.  ... But it still doesn't feel good, I don't like that he goes alone and don't like that he's intoxicated.  It would be completely different if he were sober.  I trust his judgement when he's sober, but intoxicated on alcohol and illegal drugs is a whole different thing.  He says he cannot enjoy it without those things.WIBTA if I asked him not to go any more?*Edited with more info, thanks for the feedback*",AITA if I don't let my husband pursue his hobbies while I pursue mine?,YWBTA
10vej0p,"My mother, gave my Son HER mother's Diamond wedding ring to use the stone in the wedding ring he was going to give his future wife. It's like a 4Karat naturally mined 75yr old stone, so not cheap and not replaceable.My mom mentions this ring often and at this point doesn't know they are getting a divorce.Son 25 married a unfortunately immature girl, they have been legally married for less than two years and she has decided that she ""just isn't happy, and just doesn't want to be married anymore and wants to take time for herself to have more fun in her life, etc etc"" , and wants a divorce. Luckily they have no children and no combined ANYTHING, bank accts etc. We gave them $2k for their honeymoon, which is fine but I want to ask him to get the diamond back, she can keep the ring itself but after dedicating less than 2 years to a marriage, I don't feel it is fair for her to keep the stone, esp when she never even wore it because (even though she picked out the setting) she decided it was just too big and gaudy.So... Am I The Asshole for asking for the Family Diamond back?Edit: To clarify, I haven't said anything yet, mom doesn't know the divorce is coming and I anticipate her thinking of this too.  My plan was to ask Son, in a couple weeks once the shock and some sadness has warn off, to ask for it. I won't get involved unless it comes down to outright PAYING her to get it. Right now he is super depressed and just wants to do anything to NOT get a divorce but she has already made plans so I doubt she is going to change her mind.",WIBTA to ask my DIL for a family heirloom diamond back?,NTA
10ve106,"My fiancé (27M) and I (27F) are getting married this year.  From the very beginning we have planned for a kid-free wedding aside from my Fiancé’s son, my sister's baby, and my future sister-in-law’s/fiancé’s sister’s baby. The babies are only an exception because the mothers both nurse.  All other children including all the other nieces and nephews aren’t allowed (we already have invitations that say no kids). My fiancé has ten nieces/nephews and I have one. The place we are getting married at has a capacity of 100 (adding ten people to this will be an extra $1500 in fees/costs). His parents vetoed our first wedding venue choice and threatened to take money away because it was too far away. This was a big issue between us but eventually we ended up finding one that was 30 minutes away from us, that was a bit cheaper, but would only be able to accommodate 100 people.  His parents were happy. Throughout our planning process, we let everyone know our wedding is a more upscale black-tie event and that we wanted a kid free wedding.  His family kept brushing us off every time we’d mention the no kids thing. We finally put our foot down and said this isn’t a discussion/joke and they were obviously upset. We told them 1) we just don’t want kids there, 2) the kids aren’t well behaved and the parents don’t supervise them, 3) the kids won’t want to be there, and 4) we have other people who we would much prefer to have there. His parents told us “this will have to be discussed” and that this would be an issue for their family. They proceeded to tell us weddings are about family.  And I told them weddings are about the bride and groom and who they want to celebrate their day with. Two weeks later, my fiancé’s parents cornered him. They told him all his sisters were upset (even the ones without kids), they told him the 100 person count shouldn’t matter and they’ll just not invite their friends. His father promised to watch the kids the entire time and make sure they are on their best behavior at the wedding. And his parents told him two of his sisters didn’t feel like flying their families out for a wedding the kids couldn’t go to was worth it. My fiancé told them he’d discuss it with me. Fast forward another few days and my fiancé decides to call and hear directly from his sisters about it. All three said their kids were hurt they weren’t going to be allowed at his wedding. They told him that if behavior is a concern then my fiancé and I need to sit down and tell everyone our expectations. I don’t want kids at the wedding and the way his family has acted regarding this issue has reinforced my desire for a kid free wedding. We already let them veto our venue choice and I don’t want to let them force us to have kids at our wedding.If I reached out to his family and let them know that kids will not be allowed regardless of how frustrated this may make them, would I be the asshole?",WIBTA: no kids allowed at wedding including nieces/nephews,NTA
10vdq2v,"I love my ex-girlfriend's dog and it broke my heart when we broke up and I had to say goodbye. We've been broken up for a while now and I know she's been having some financial difficulties.To give some context, I'm in some debt myself at the moment. I'm not financially very well to do and she knows that. Over the course of our relationship, I also spent quite a considerable amount for her dad's hospital bills in the name of a loan to her, but obviously, I never got any of that money back.She texted me out of the blue to ask me to help out with her vet bills, and I helped her with about 15k in the span of a month. The dog's been in and out of the vet hospital about 3 times in that time, and my advice was to let the dog go because financially, she is not able to support the vet bills, and neither am I. Not at the level of care her dog needs anyway. When I loaned her the 15k for the vet bills, I already knew I probably wouldn't get it back but I know how important the dog was to her, so I did it anyway.So yesterday, the dog had to go to the emergency room again due to breathing difficulties (genetic disease), and she begged me for money again. This time round, I refused because this was clearly not sustainable. I would have gladly helped again if the dog can be given a clean bill of health but that was clearly not the case. Even if the dog made it through this time around, there was no telling when she will go back to the hospital again.I told her I was tapped out and she basically screamed at me over text, calling me heartless, selfish, and why couldn't I get a loan from people around me to help her out. I ignored all those texts and reminded her of the times when I helped her out. She retorted by asking me what's the point of bringing up all those things and told me either to help her get money for the bills or just shut it. She ended up blocking me on all channels.AITA for refusing to help?",AITA for refusing to help my ex girlfriend's (30F) dog,NTA
10vero1,"Ok so I, 21F, went over to my aunts (45F) house for a visit and my cousin (26F) and her son (3M) were also there at that time. We were sitting in the living room catching up and my aunt goes to the kitchen to make tea when my cousin’s son, who I will call Wolf for privacy, toddles up to me. For context I am not good with children nor to I particularly like them. I am autistic and have sensory issues, but also I just am not a fan, but I try to engage with Wolf as best I can, though I don’t really know how to interact with kids so I mostly just say hi in a friendly voice. Wolf sees my IPhone sitting on my lap and grabs it and goes to put it in his mouth. I quickly reach for it and try to take it back but Wolf doesn’t want to give it back. My cousin, who I’ll call Sarah, sees this and laughs and says “oh yeah he’s at that age where he just wants to play with everything and explore everything!” But doesn’t help me or do anything. I say to wolf “let go of the phone honey” and try to take it out of his hands. I finally get my phone free but Wolf immediately starts crying and screaming while trying to grab my phone back. I look to my cousin for help and she says to me“Can’t you just let him play with the phone? He won’t break it. You weren’t using it right now anyway” I tell her no and that I’m not comfortable with him playing with my phone especially because he’s trying to put it in his mouth and my cousin gets all pissy. She picks wolf up and takes him to his room and doesn’t come back for awhile. 30 minutes later she comes back without Wolf and she’s all upset with me and she tells me that he had a full on tantrum and had to be put down for a nap and all of this could have been avoided if I had been less selfish and willing to let him play with it for just a couple minutes. My aunt said she didn’t want to take sides. I don’t think I should have to let a kid play with my phone and touch my things, but maybe I’m the asshole because I went over knowing wolf would be there and so I should have been more willing to be lenient? So Reddit, AITA?",AITA for not letting my cousins son play with my phone?,NTA
10vdf00,"I was meeting up with u group of friends. We decided it would be fun to take a group picture to remind us of the meetup. My friends asked to take one with me and a second picture in which everybody but me is included. Their reasoning was that I have albinism which means I have white hair. They said it would harm the aesthetics of the photo. I let them do that but told them it was really mean and that it sucked to be excluded like that. They got mad and said I wouldn’t be able to see the photos anyways which isn’t true. I am legally blind, but not fully blind so I can see the picture and well I can very much see that there’s one that I‘m not in. So we argued for a bit and they told me I‘m an AH for being jealous of them taking a photo without me.AITA?",AITA for wanting to be part of a group photo?,NTA
10vczwk,"I (24 F) am getting married in October and graduating with my doctorate in May. Growing up, my biological father was never a part of my life. I always wondered what it would be like to have him in my life, and it affected me deeply emotionally growing up. I had met him a total of 3 times. Once when I was 3, when I was about 8, and then again when I was 12. All times he would go no-contact after our visit for a few years and then contact again after a few years. But after the last visit when I was 12, he never reached out again until I reached out to him. When I was a senior in high school, my mom finally found his number and gave it to me and told me to do whatever I wanted with it. I messaged him, and we actually kind of reconciled, but I never fully forgave him. Up until July of last year, our relationship was ok. But he came to visit me in July, and the entire time all he did was talk about how terrible my mother is and embarrass me everywhere we went. I didn't understand how someone could talk so poorly of my mother when she never kept him from me and always made sure I had everything I ever needed and wanted. Then at every restaurant he would make sexual remarks towards waitresses or when he did not get something quick enough he would throw a fit and scream at them/management. It made me extremely uncomfortable. He would even talk about him and my step moms sex life and talk poorly of her. (She wasn't there, he was just in my city working and she was back home, he lives in another state). After our visit, I decided to go no-contact with him. I haven't heard from him since July. He texted me on my birthday in October, like 11pm. I have decided to invite his sister however who I have never met. She went no-contact with him when they were kids, because of the way he behaved and stole from their mother. But, his sister has always been there for me (emotionally) since I was born, although never meeting her in person. She always answered phonecalls and text messages. We were supposed to meet up finally last summer, but due to the financial constraints of being in school, I wasn't able to afford the vacation she had planned. She seems so excited to be there and has already booked a hotel. She tells me how proud she is of me constantly and how she is so happy I didn't turn out like him. She always talks so beautifully of my mother, telling me how happy she is that I had her to raise me.However, my fiance and many others are telling me that I will regret not having my biological father there. But, I don't consider him my father. My grandfather (and grandmother) helped my mom raise me. And my grandfather taught me everything a dad should have, so he will be walking me down the aisle to give me away and the father-daughter dance. So, AITA?Edit: I forgot to add that this was not our first meeting since we reconciled my senior year. Before this, he had actually attended my high school graduation. Then when I was in college I went and was supposed to spend a week with him and my step mom in his state. However, I stayed 2 nights and then decided to leave because he was making me extremely uncomfortable. I also wanted to add that my step mother is an absolute angel and honestly if it was not for her he probably would have never even replied to me back when I texted him for the first time my senior year. I think that is what makes this so difficult because by cutting him off, I have to cut her off too, and she is absolutely not a part of my decision for cutting him off. I honestly wish she would leave him and find better, because she deserves it.Edit #2: My fiance's bio dad did basically the same thing to him. He recently passed away. My fiance says he has a lot of regrets for not including his bio Dad in his life more.","AITA for not inviting my father to my wedding and graduation, but inviting his estranged sister instead?",NTA
10vasba,"To make it short, I live with my grandparents because they insist, and they changed my permanent address to their address. So I had to change my citizen ID. And today I picked it up and when I got home, I showed it to my grandmother, because it was different than the one I got 3 years ago. And she immediately noticed, that I didn't put my name titles on it. (I have masters from media and journalism and bachelors from software engineering) I told her I don't see reason why, and she immediately went onto a rant, how a week ago she saw list of people who live in our apartment building and everyone has their titles there. She even started to name the people individualy together with their titles, sometimes with some derrogative words for people she dislikes. I waited for her to finish her rant and then told her, okay, but I am going now to my room, because my foot is hurting (I have medical reason that I am working on, but for now it hurts as if you step on lego every time). And she stops me, tells me to wait... and she continues ranting for a few more minutes. Aparently my ID upset her so much, that when my aunt came to visit, it was the first thing my grandmother told her when she sat down. And they both started to tell me off, for not putting it there. I am confused, it's not required by the government, and it's not as if I am a medical doctor or lawyer, like they are. Even though I find this situation silly... AITA for not putting my degree name title onto my ID?",AITA for not putting my college degree name title into my citizen ID?,NTA
10ve5g7,"I am currently 24 weeks pregnant with my third child. I currently have an 8 year old son and 1 year old daughter. I have been in a rocky relationship with their dad coming up 10 years. He has a majurana dependency which has caused a majority of issues in our relationship. As a non-smoker I'm not against him smoking. It's the financial burden(Spending up to $400 weekly) and time spent away from us (eg smoking with friends and family on a almost daily basis) that causes me to feel frustrated. When ever I bring up how I feel it causes major arguments and ends up in him telling me I'm controlling and he ends up taking off to his parents who tend to baby and enable him. He does help out with the kids after he has his ""Smoking time away"" i just wish we were higher on his priority list..Am I over reacting?",AITA for wanting my partner to prioritize his family before his habits?,NTA
10ve2t0,"My family celebrates Lunar New Year and my family was hosting for 1 of the days. I (late 20sF) was helping out as part of the hosting family. My sister, Mel (early 20sF, fake name), unfortunately had to work as she works in the service industry and have no way of getting even a half day off. So she came back after a 8-9hrs shift to a jam packed house of party. While our parents, other siblings and I were still on kitchen/hosting duty, Mom immediately asked for her to help out some stuff. I asked her if I should go but she said its fine and went with whatever needed help in. After awhile, the kitchen work toned down and she went pass me into my room. Many friends and extended family was asking for her as it is the first year after many years they didn't see each other. But didn't dare to enter our rooms to bother her.I went to check her out as our parents was asking for her to come greet her elders and whatsoever. She was sitting on the floor by the desk using phone with the chair and bed covering the view to her. Before I even spoke, she looked up with teary eyes and told me that outside is a bit overwhelming for her at the moment and would like quiet time abit if possible. She wanted to borrow my room since people might keep looking for her in her room.So I asked if she wants me to close the door so she doesn't have to use the furniture to hide. She nodded at me and I went out doing so. Mom was like ""Where is she?"" Which I just replied, ""She's tired, let her rest abit."" Since I know Mom doesn't understand the burnout she might have, coming home after a full day of interaction-work to face a crowd once again at home. Mom shrugged off but Dad was somewhat furious. Mel used to have bad tendencies when she locked herself in the room before but that was more than 10 years ago things and in fact she has better coping skills than me now. I trust her to be by herself a long time ago. However, Dad chewed me out for it and told me not to leave her alone. (We spoke privately for this). So what I did was went back in, asked her if she wants me in, she said no. So I went out and told Dad she doesn't want it and we shouldn't push her. Luckily Dad didn't go further and went to entertain his friends. Mel came out soon after, muttered a thanks to me and went on without a issue. I definitely had some doubts after the party since what Dad was concerned about wasn't wrong but I don't think I should intrude her personal space. But I'm second guessing myself right now.","AITA for ""locking"" my sister in my room at her request?",NTA
10vfio8,"I was at a waterpark with my son and we were ready to leave so we proceeded towards the family restroom/changing room. There were 2 private restrooms that were currently being used and there was a woman and her child standing in front of one of the bathrooms waiting to use it. I proceeded to stand in front of the other bathroom. I did not speak to the woman while we were waiting but we were both standing there for a good while, I would say 5-7 minutes. During this time a worker came up and stood between the 2 bathrooms facing us as though he was waiting to run in to clean or restock one or both of the restrooms once they became free. He was pleasant and smiling/talking to my son and the woman's son while we waited. My restroom became free first and my son and I proceeded in. We took a little while as we were changing out of our wet clothes into dry clothes, I would say probably another 5 to 7 minutes. When we exited the bathroom, the woman who had been waiting for the other restroom was next in line for my restroom and as she was passing me she began scolding me for cutting her in line and that I was teaching my son bad habits.I just kind of stared at her in shock speechless because she can't possibly be talking to me right?? We were both standing here waiting for these restrooms for a long time and never had she suggested 1 line for both restrooms. I figured the worker probably proceeded to clean the other restroom once it became free forcing the woman to have to wait for my restroom which I'm sure was very annoying for her since she had been waiting longer but how was I supposed to know that's what was going down? The worker never said anything to us about that while we were waiting. Anyways I felt bad but also irritated that she had been so confrontational towards me in front of my son who was also confused saying ""but we didn't cut her in line!"" I kind of wanted to find her after to correct the situation but you gotta pick your battles. Still, ruined the rest of the day for me.So AITA for not offering the restroom to her first??",AITA for allegedly cutting in line at the bathroom?,YTA
10vdptx,"EDIT: Forgot to add the part ab the restrictions :,DI [15 F] got a new iPad for Christmas. Seeing as I just got a new one, I gave my old iPad to my little sister. [12 F] She has a lot of fun with it, I kept some of the apps she liked on it and allowed her to download new ones. Recently she downloaded Roblox, which in my family isn’t exactly allowed. I only have it because the girl I babysit likes to play with me when I’m over at her house. She quickly became obsessed with this game called Adopt Me, and when I had my friend over asked me to give her money so she could buy Robux for the game. I said no, because the iPad was still hooked up to my apple account. (I tried to sign into hers but we don’t know the password.) Even my friend kind of backed me up. She was upset but accepted it. Fast forward a couple hours, I was having dinner and playing some mindless phone game when I got a notification that someone had bought something off my apple account. I opened it quickly and it showed that my balance was now at $65 (I had about $80 I think?) and that someone had bought $15 dollars worth of Robux. It wasn’t that much money, but I save up my apple money in case I need to get myself out of a situation, like if I lost my Duolingo streak or if I need to buy something out with my friends. So I confronted her about it and she said she put a gift card in, which she didn’t because I would’ve seen that too. She was in the shower so I planned to talk with her when she got out. My mom went to talk with her and came out saying, “she didn’t know how much she was spending,” which didn’t make sense to me. I had told her not to spend anything?? My sister also accused me of being mean and not letting her buy something and that I owed her money anyways. This isn’t true, I buy her IAP’s for her games when she asks, (roblox is out of the question because I know how addicted kids get to buying Robux) and recently bought her a $40 sims pack as a surprise. (If I’m the AH for anything, make it for paying full price for a sims 4 dlc.) I made it so she can’t make IAP’s anymore and has to put my password in before she buys/downloads anything. She said it was unfair because this was her iPad. So AITA?",AITA for putting restrictions on the iPad that I gave to my sister?,NTA
10vcbdh,"Alright, so I have a best friend named Sarah. We’re both 16 and we’re practically inseparable. Typically we hang out after school at my house. This is because Sarah’s sister, Ally (12), is a pain in the ass. Alli is very awkward and simultaneously wants to be around me but not talk much if at all. She usually will just stare and it makes me uncomfortable. She’s also oddly sensitive to scents. Like I can’t wear my perfume around her because it’s “too strong “. She has a lot of quirks that me and Sarah call Allyisms. The most annoying being her tendency to make random noises especially when she’s upset or her fascination with stuff I leave in the guest bedroom.Well work is currently being done on my parents house so this past Friday i spent the night at Sarahs house. As soon as I come over Ally is super excited for whatever reason. She gives me another low effort drawing of all of us playing together and ofc I pretend to love it. After I take my sweater off cause it’s 1000 degrees at their place, Ally lectures me about how my top is inappropriate. I says she’s being a prude and she drops the issue. I also made the mistake of wearing a new perfume I got for Christmas. Well upon their mom’s request I hopped in the shower to wash it off. While I was drying off Ally just waltzes right into the bathroom!! Rather than leave immediately she froze up and started making noises and mumbling. I literally had to push her out of the bathroom!! I confronted her afterwards and all she did was continue to mumble incoherently. I obviously got pissed and started yelling at her. She broke down crying and ran off. She avoided me the rest of the weekend and it was pretty awesome. I told Sarah what happened and she said i totally overreacted. Sarah said that her sister obviously didn’t mean anything bad and that I should be more understanding. Ally must’ve told her mom what happened later after I left because this morning Sarah said her mom doesn’t want me coming over for awhile. I feel bad for making Ally cry but at the same time I’m not sure what I should’ve done differently.",AITA for making my friend’s sister cry?,YTA
10vbtb5,"I (21F) live with Gina (22F) and Belle (19F). Belle moved in two weeks ago due to problems with the room she was renting at the time and was moved to a unit of equal value that had availability, which ended up being the extra room in mine and Gina’s unit. Belle is sweet, tidy, quiet, and all around a nice roommate so far, but apparently I upset her the other day. Here’s what happened.For some context, I work at a chain thrift store in the town I live in. Despite it not being the only thrift store here, it’s the most popular, so I stay pretty busy. I work 8:30-5:00, typically 5 days a week, sometimes 6. When Belle moved in, we all introduced ourselves to each other and discussed where we worked and what we were studying in college (or what I used to study, in my case, as I no longer attend). Belle asked if I ever found anything good while working and I said yes, and then she asked if I donated myself, to which I said yes as well. I cleaned my closet and donated a LOT of clothes back in the fall. I still take a couple things now and then. Last Thursday night, Belle came to me with a couple shoe boxes and asked if I could take them to work with me in the morning. I honestly didn’t want to. I asked why she couldn’t take them, and she said she’s too busy during the day with classes and her job to come by. I tried to be polite and told her if she can’t bring them while we’re open, we have an easily accessible chute for after hours donations that she can put stuff into at any time of the day during any day of the week. She replied that she’d probably just forget whenever she actually had the time and said “it’s just a couple bags plus these shoes. I can help you put them in your car now if you want.” At this point I’m getting more frustrated, and I remind her we have the after hours chute that she can use. I then add that Fridays (the next day) are the busiest of the entire week and that my manager probably wouldn’t appreciate me bringing my own donations. Belle insists it won’t be a big deal and that I can just tell my boss it’s hers and not mine, and I tell her I think it would be better if she took it herself. She once again said she didn’t have time, and I said “maybe you should make time, then”. Belle said “uh, fine, okay,” and went back into her room. I haven’t seen her since, and the next afternoon when I saw Gina in the kitchen she asked me if I’d done anything to piss Belle off because she apparently heard her talking angrily on the phone and saying my name. It’s Monday now and I still haven’t seen anything of Belle and her donated clothes were sitting next to the door this morning where we usually out boxes for the dumpster and stuff. I don’t know, was I the AH here?***Edit- one other thing I told her that I had to remove bc of character count was that my boss had specifically told us if we’re gonna bring our own hauls or donations for friends to not do so on Friday and Saturday bc they’re such busy days for us. My boss would have been legitimately upset with me and it could have put me in bad standing or gotten me into trouble and Belle still insisted I take the donations Friday and that “my boss won’t care”.Edit 2- Just want to answer some questions/clarify things that keep coming up, some of which I covered in the post originally but had to cut out due to the character limit.“Why didn’t you want to take her donations” I don’t want to become responsible or expected to take Belle’s things whenever she wants me to just because “I’m already going there.” I don’t mind the occasional thing or two, but she was giving me a legitimate haul consisting of two boxes of sneakers and two fifteen gallon trash bags of clothes that were very heavy when I tried to lift one to check.“Why not just keep them in your car until Monday if you couldn’t bring them in on Friday/Saturday?” Her donations took up the remainder of the room inside my car, and I needed that room for my groceries. I go shopping for food and household needs on weekends after I get paid. My car is a mess, which is something I need to take care of, but it’s honestly hard to find the energy on Sundays when I’m just trying to get my laundry/food prep done and recover from the week I just worked. “Why do you think taking Belle’s clothes one time is going to turn into a trend?” I have had people do it to me before and I’m not keen on having it happen again. People have taken advantage of my kindness my whole life and it’s very draining to feel like you can never say no to people regardless of what it is and be punished when you don’t want to take on responsibilities for others. It’s also something that Belle and I already have a problem with, as she expects me to practically write her papers for her at this point. I told her when she moved in that I used to be an English major, and she was quick to request my help with an essay. I honestly despise essays and research papers (I’m more into literature analysis and creative writing) but I’m very good with grammar, spelling, sentence structure, etc, which were the things Belle said she had major problems with. While helping her with the first paper, any sentences I told her that needed to be reworded she asked that I rewrite them myself. I gave her some corrected examples, but she continued to request that I just “do it for her since I’m better at it.” I tried to be as nice as I could while telling her the best way to get better is if she practices herself. She didn’t seem happy with that but she went along with it. The next paper she asked for help with, only three days after that first one, she asked if I would write her thesis for her because she “just couldn’t figure it out.” I tried to give her some examples, but she once again requested I do the work for her and allow her to take credit. She also asked afterwords if I would go in and out her citations in the right place and format for her. I made up an excuse for being busy and left. I don’t mind helping, but I didn’t get an apartment with roommates so I could do someone’s homework for them. Because of the way this turned out, I expected the same kind of issue with taking her donations.“Why doesn’t your manager want you bringing in donations on Fridays/Saturdays? Doesn’t she want more business?” To be quite honest, I don’t exactly know why she’s pretty much banned the employees bringing donations on Friday and Saturday. I would assume that her thinking is if she allows us to bring a couple things, it will slowly turn into more and more. But as far as business, like I said, Friday is our busiest day. We get more business than we can handle. This issue is, it’s all in the front, because we don’t make money while processing the donations. We only make money of what we can tag and put out, which is far less than what we actually receive in. People often donate literal trash, objects or clothes damaged beyond what we’re allowed to sell, or items we can’t legally sell and have to then legally break down and dispose of, which takes a lot of time and effort. Because of this, we have one employee that works the front and deals with all of the customers and transactions, and the rest of us have to be in the back processing, pricing, and putting out inventory as well as disposing of unsellable and hazardous materials. We almost always end up with more donations to process than we can handle, and have things leftover from Friday that we have to process on Saturday, which is also very busy. If we finish everything by the end of Saturday, we often come in on Monday to the back door, loading dock, and chute overflowing with donations, and often times they are also strewn about by people who have shown up to pick through things and go through our dumpster. Its busy, it’s fast paced, and it’s exhausting.“It sounds like you don’t like this job. Why don’t you quit?” If I quit right now I would be homeless before I could manage to get another job. I put in countless apps across a three month period and had only three places get back to me. The job market is hell right now and I can’t quit until I have another job lined up.",AITA For Telling My Roommate She Needs To “Make Time”?,YTA
10ve4u1,"The spouse and I are both in the STEM fields, in our mid-30's, and both work fulltime in a location geographically far away from both our families. His employement is his PhD, whereas I am the breadwinner and already have my PhD, so I know what he is going through. I will be taking maternity leave when our second child is born in the coming weeks and parenting our 2 y/o. Because of my age, I am advised to be induced and have the baby a week early out of an abundance of caution. If I am not induced, the due date is the same week as he is slated to travel for a conference where he is to give a technical presentation, not even for a publication. The Spouse has refused to move or alter his travel plans and has stated he is not comfortable with me asking anyone in our families to come help as that would create familial favoritism. I am supposed to rely on our local friend support networ to help with the neborn and toddler in his opinion. He has also flat out refused to ask his Advisor to present the slides for him, even though he will already be in attendance at the conference. The spouse has conceded to not travel the whole week and attend the entire conference since I am supposed to give birth that week, but will instead be gone less than 48 hours. I have told him I will not be dropping him off/picking him up at the airport 3 hours away since we will likely have two kids at that point. And once he comes home, he will have to wear a mask in the house because of the newborn until he can perform a test 5 days after his return. AITA for telling him he should prioritize his family's health and safety here over a conference without any publication?",AITA for telling husband to stay away a week after a birth because of travel,NTA
10vfupf,"My fiancee and I are engaged and planning a wedding. We wanted to elope originally but due to lots of pressure from friends who's wedding we've been to, we've decided maybe just a small wedding with our closest friends and immediate family. For context I have a very large extended family (20+ cousins, half of whom have kids of their own) while my fiancee has one cousin she doesn't keep in touch with and all of our grandparents are no longer around. My older sister got married in 2021 and originally wanted to do a kid free wedding but got so much pressure she relented and allowed kids that were cousins or cousins' kids. She immediately regretted it as this added a ton of money to the cost and two babies were crying throughout the ceremony. Due to all the extended family invites, she and her now husband had to really limit their friends that could go. Im not close to any of my cousins except for maybe one. I was thinking Id just invite him or maybe not even him and we'd then just do our immediate family and friends and have about a 50 people. With adding my extended fam + spouses + their kids we'd be over 100 people. I told my family this as a plan and my sister called it genius yet my mom freaked TF out. Saying how she's talked so much with her siblings about our wedding and how excited they are all for. I told her that wasnt me who told them about it, and we are paying for it ourself, but she still insists it will alienate us from the family forever. I told her thats fine, we dont really keep in touch anyway but she still freaks out. WIBTA if I stick to my guns and just keep it to people Im close with, which wouldn't include any extended family except maybe one? I told that cousin and he said he wouldn't blame me at all if I had to cut him to keep it consistent, Id rather not but thats an option as well.",WIBTA if I dont invite extended family to my wedding?,NTA
10vfpr2,"Context: one of my best friends (We’ll call him Riley) is in the Army. He’s currently deployed and is an officer. He’s extraordinarily busy, under a great deal of pressure and is just trying to keep himself alive/sane.He has a girlfriend (we’ll call her Crystal)Now, they’ve been on and off again for a number of years now, truth be told I don’t really like Crystal all that much but she’s not a bad person… they’re just bad for each other.Having served and deployed myself (while also in a relationship at the time) I know almost exactly what it’s like to be in Riley’s shoes.Crystal and my ex have been pretty good friends so in the past couple months she’s talked to me/helped give me some closure with my ex and I’m appreciative of that.I’ve offered relationship advice to both Crystal and Riley numerous times before and I’ve been there to listen to either of them vent about their BS.Few nights back, Crystal messages me saying she’s worried she screwed up their relationship, he wasn’t replying to her, etc. she was dying to know what she’d done wrong. Considering she’d already more or less done the same for me with my ex (cause she won’t talk to me) I decided to do what I could to help.Without outwardly prying, I did ask Riley what was going on/bothering him. He told me this and that about what Crystal would do or say to annoy/piss him off and drive that wedge between the two of them.He told me he’s already said all the same stuff to her before.So, I relayed it to Crystal, told her “hey man, he’s basically telling me the same shit he’s already told you.”Flash forward a few days when Crystal’s talking with my ex about it, and upon finding out I told Crystal what Riley said to me about her, she said I was “a traitor”(To which I promptly sent her a message and laughed saying ‘so now I’m a traitor for trying to help my friend and his gf? That’s cold Brutus, what else ya got?’)Anyway, long story short, despite me listening to Riley’s complaints and passing them onto Crystal and trying to encourage her of what she needed to do to make things work with Riley, they did in fact end up breaking up. But I’m still left wondering, was my ex right? Am I some kinda traitor for what I did?AITA?Personally I don’t 100% feel like I am because if I was dating someone and they wouldn’t talk to me, but their friend would and their friend would tell me exactly what my partner was saying about me to help give me some insight of what I’d done wrong/how I upset them and what I could do to fix it, I know I’d personally be incredibly grateful for it… but I do know at the same time that is still pretty sneaky behavior on the friend’s part to be relating info from one partner to the other.",AITA for telling my friend’s GF the things he’s said about her?,YTA
10veorr,"me and my dad have been living on our own for about 3 months now, before we where living with my grandma. she was the one who cleaned and never really cared. I don't like cleaning but i like to have our apt look nice, its also a really nice apt and i want to take care of it.See I clean all the time almost everyday im also not in school right now because i had to live with mom for 7 months and just moved back so i have nothing to do right now.the problem begins that my dad will not clean up after him self. wont do dishes, wont throw away his beer/soda cans and will leave them on the couch, will eat my snacks/ leftovers that i saved for later, wont sweep,  leave his  trash on the couch or right next to the trash can.when i go to bed at night i make sure everything is picked up at least a little bit but when  i wake up in the morning everything is destroyed. the worst part is that i cleaned after my self and only myself for 5 days and the whole kitchen and house was destroyed. he asks me to do stuff like ""hey could you do those dishes there is no more forks and i used the last one last night"" or just eats my food without asking. i am the one always going shopping or cleaning. it get on my nerves but i cant say anything bc i dont want to be a asshole. AITA???",AITA my dad wont clean after himself?,NTA
10ve0sm,"About eight months ago I (22F) started working my first job after uni. There I met my colleague Julia (27F) who really helped me navigate the new job. Most of our coworkers are men in their 40s, which I think is why she took under her wing. About two months ago (at a lunch gathering) she announced that she was pregnant and mentioned wanting to throw a baby shower. She insinuated that we'd all be invited and we casually agreed to come. She spent the next couple of weeks hinting at what she was planning and tbh it was a lot bigger than I expected. She even mentioned two of her cousins flying in from Asia. All of this made me dread the event a bit since I don't do well with big parties. Also I am not used to 'fancy' parties since I'm from a working class background. I'm not sure I'd know how to behave. Still I was planning on going.Last week I received the 'formal' invitation. The invitation mentioned several things that made me uncomfortable and made it so that I really don't want to attend.1. There was no plus one (as far as I can tell all my colleagues got one) even though I've been with my boyfriend for three years (lived with him for two). 2. The location of the shower is a two hour drive away and in the middle of nowhere. I don't have a car and would have to borrow my boyfriends. Tbh, I don't really feel very safe driving outside a city environment and haven't done so in two years. I'm not particularly close to any of my other coworkers (yet) so I'm a bit nervous to ask any of them to drive me since all of them seem to plan to drive there independently. As far as I know none of them live close to where I do either.3. The party has a very strict dress code. Women are supposed to wear 'light pink formal dresses'. I'm a bit of a tomboy and only own one (black) dress that I mostly wear to old/conservative relatives birthday parties. The invite also mentions 'proper' hair and makeup. I honestly haven't worn and don't own any makeup so I'm not really sure what to do. I also always wear my hair in a simple ponytail. Not only do I feel pretty uncomfortable with the idea of wearing all that, I think it's going to be expensive and I really don't have much disposable income at the moment. 4. This is by far the least important part but tbh the fact that there is going to be a 'gender reveal' at the party makes me uncomfortable. I believe that gender is not determined by birth and have several friends who have had to deal with very ignorant parents on the topic. She specifically mentioned to a group of colleagues who asked why she had written that she had a preference for cash gifts it was because she ""didn't want to be gifted a bunch of pink clothes and then find out she was having a boy and needing to donate them"". She also mentioned some sort of 'price' for guests who guess the gender correctly.So Reddit, would I be the Asshole if I said no to going to the shower (even though I had agreed to it two months ago and she has helped me so much)?",WIBTA for refusing to go to my colleagues baby shower?,NTA
10vbqlq,"Hello everyone, I work at the same place as my friend, I started working here 2 years ago and he started about 6 months ago after I recommended him for a position.We work as analysts and we have to follow a certain methodology which, as I have worked longer I know much better. When he had his interview I helped him prepare for it and did a few session on our methodology and how we use it so he knows how to answer the questions, everything went great and he got the job.Now today he told me if I could do the same for a friend of his that he now recommended and help them get the interview they have on Friday. Under normal circumstances I would totally love to do it, the plot twist is that I also recommended my girlfriend for the same position and she also has her interview on Friday. I would have the time to help both of them but I would rather not help someone that would be in direct competition with my girlfriend for the job.I feel like such an asshole for just thinking this. But at the same time if I help my friends friend and they get the job over my girlfriend I would also feel like shit.So I come to this sub for judgement. Would I be the asshole if I refused to help the other person and just prepare my girlfriend for the interview?Edit: Just realized the title implies I run the company or can affect the outcome of the interview. I am just another employee and can not do any of that. It would give a person a huge advantage though to know the way we work.",WIBTA if I refused to help my friend's friend with an interview at our company?,NTA
10vg1mg,"Last weekend my friend and I went out for drinks at a bar we go to all the time. The drinks are always good and so we always leave a tip. However, the drinks were really terrible for some reason last weekend. They just tasted awful. So we paid for the drinks we ordered and left. We also didn’t make a scene or anything. We were really nice about it and quietly left. Tipping is completely optional at this bar by the way as it is in most places.But as we were leaving the bar, the bar tender chased us down and confronted us. She demanded to know why we didn’t leave a tip. She told us we should have given her a tip because she offered to give us the drinks for free. Yes she offered but we declined and paid for the drinks anyway. We felt guilty for not liking the drinks because we know how much effort it takes to make each drink. We PAID for every single drink we ordered. We just chose not to leave a tip. Our experience wasn’t a good as the other times. The bar tender made me and my friend so uncomfortable. We have never ever been confronted like that for not leaving a tip. But idk, Im still in shock. AITA for not leaving a tip?",AITA For not leaving a tip?,INFO
10vfa87,"Hi, ​My boyfriend lives with me but I pay the rent but he pays for litteraly everything else and so this is good i'm ok with the situation and paying the rent.I'm a student and I also work (I think it's called internship in english).Anyways i've already told my boyfriend that I don't like when he does nothing all day. I know he doesn't have a job but I just don't want him to not do anything... I pushed him to pass his driver's licence which he is doing now and it's a very good thing.I don't care that he doesnt have a job as long as he has plans, even personnal things. It's fine with me as long as he really tries things and that he doesn't ""stagnate"".​​Today was the first day of my new job because I changed my internship It all went very well and my previous job was very far away from my appartment and I had one and a half hour of public transport so i got back around 7:30 pm and was very tired.Today I was very happy and excited to get back at 5:20 pm and see my boyfriend earlier than usual. When I got back he wasn't there so i was kind of sad and worried because he didnt warn me, so I called a lot of times and he was at his driving lesson so I said ok call me back when you can.He called me a few minutes later when he finished his lesson and said he was coming home, and we hung up. I texted him the grocery shopping list and said that we could go together but then I texted ""whatever just get back home we can eat what's left in the fridge"", because I wanted him home as soon as possible.He didn't answer anything and I waited for him an hour or more.He then got back with half of the groceries i texted (not even enough for me to cook) and lots of candies and ice cream and said he didn't find the rest (the rest = meet and mushroom. They are easy to find)I started to get angry at him and I went to the kitchen to cook pasta and realized he didn't do the dishes, so I had to cook in a smaller pan and I made a mess.He also didn't do the laundry (the only thing I asked him today).So I screamed everything that I was mad about and I was so angry that I cried. Ifinished cooking and gave him his plate and went to eat alone because I was so mad and he kept coming to speak to me even tho I already told him everything that made me mad and that I just wanted to eat alone. So him not respecting my boundaries also made me so angry. Because I have a hard time controling my anger. So I just wanted alone time to ""decompress"" and he didn't let me.I think he didn't even eat what i cooked and he went alone in the bathroom to let me know he didn'tfeel good.I feel so mad because I was so happy to finish work early and now I just feel stupid because it didn't change anything. I have a job and he doesn't so he should be able to do things while I'm at work. I'm not asking for a lot of things.I feel bad for letting him eat alone and screaming at him but it felt like a lot after a day of work even if maybe it seems like little things when you read it.",AITA for screaming at my boyfriend and letting him eat alone ?,ESH
10vcspw,"My boyfriend (31M) and I (26 F) have been together for 3 years. My boyfriend has a dog, a small Pinscher, Gina, whom he got a little before we started dating, when she was around 3. She is a rescue, had a history of abuse and is very easily stressed. To get her to be sociable, he did his best to train her. She couldn't even walk without freezing up when she heard sharp sounds (even the sound of her own leash scared her) so my boyfriend carried her in his lap, calmed her down and started over. She is now very happy and very sociable both with dogs and other humans. Gina can now be trusted to be alone for longer hours (his regular working hours) without concerns for her psychological and physical well being, or worries she might make a mess or stress-chew on furniture. However, she is still a somewhat anxious dog who needs attention. Gina eats twice per day, once at 9am and next at 8 pm. She usually gets 2 walks per day, but it's not uncommon for her to go out for a third time.Yesterday, my boyfriend and I left his house at around 2:30 pm. We don't live together, but I have keys to his apartment. He was going to a friend's house, three minutes from his own (literally two streets down) to help a friend with some chores. I was also visiting  a friend and later headed back to my own place.We texted in between the day. He also texted me around midnight, when he was about to go home. Surprised, I asked him if he had gone home to feed his dog and take her out for her walk. He said he hadn't. I was astounded and kind of mad, it seemed very insensitive to me, but didn't say anything other than that if he was really busy, he could have called me and asked me to go. He said I was right but he was getting home soon. I didn't reply to him, so he kept texting me telling me that she was fine, he had given her more food to compensate and that he was taking her on a big walk. I didn't say anything else, but I just keep thinking about her alone in the apartment, hungry and waiting. I guess this isn't a huge waiting time (4 hours later than her usual time of dinner)and it might not be my place as I am not myself a dog owner,  but it just bugs me that he was literally three minutes away and didn't bother to check up on his dog for 10 hours straight, without a huge obligation weighing on him.WIBTA if I told him off about leaving his dog waiting?",WIBTA if i told off my boyfriend for the way he acted towards his dog?,YWBTA
10vcqgx,I (15m) bought an oculus quest 2 64gb model with my own money that I got through doing chores. Now some things to note my brother (12m) is extremely destructive and has an extremely high kill count of electronics.I am extremely frustrated  and tired of repairing damages to the oculus. I do admit I probably have a bit of an attachment to it because it helps through some very dark times in my life. I have spent over 300 dollars just to replace things in the headset of course because he's my brother and he doesn't have to pay anything for repairs. He's gone through about 4 controllers 70 dollars each. That I have to replace by spending months earning money just to pay for one. And because he doesn't actually have to pay for anything he's reckless hell bash the headset and controllers on the ground and cry if he loses a game or whatever. Worst of all he just sits on hundreds of dollars because my parents make me pay for the things he does. Tldr kid bashes vr headset against the ground if he loses parents make me pay for repairs,WIBTA if I stop letting my little brother stop playing with my oculus,NTA
10vf581,"My fiancé and I have been engaged for a year and a half and haven’t even set a date yet. Neither of us ever dreamed of a big wedding and we both don’t want to spend an obscene amount of money on one day in our lives. Since getting engaged, we’ve bought 2 houses, and are going on our 2nd international trip in a few months. That’s what we’ve spent our money on instead of a wedding. Now we’re getting to the point of wanting to have a baby. I won’t have kids until we’re married. We’re planning an elopement/destination wedding in June of 2024 but at this point I just want to be his wife. We’ve been talking about getting married at the courthouse in the near future to make it official, and then planning the celebration for later.I confessed this to my mother-in-law this morning and she immediately started crying and told me how upset and hurt she’d be if we didn’t let her come to the courthouse with us. She tends to have a flair for the dramatic but on this issue I’m absolutely positive I’d never hear the end of it. My relationship with her was pretty strained at the beginning of my fiancé and I’s relationship, and it’s better now, and I don’t want to ruin that. But I also am a very private person. I want to marry my husband and I believe that with something as simple as a courthouse ceremony, I want this to be between he and I and no one else. I don’t even want the destination ceremony/reception at all, but that’s a compromise I’m willing to make for our family and friends. AITA?ETA: I would not be inviting my mother either. My fiancé doesn’t care whether his mom is there or not. She is very clingy to him and he has had to set some new boundaries in recent years. (She used to call him almost daily and ask him to come to her house to do menial tasks. I’m talking taking the trash out, carrying her laundry upstairs, singing into Hulu for her, etc)",AITA for not wanting my mother-in-law at my courthouse wedding,NTA
10veg4i,"A few months ago I (30f) got engaged. I’m in grad school so I don’t have a lot of free time except between semesters. I sent out so dates that I am available to me and my fiancés (32m) immediate family. I reached out to my sister (34) separately, about a week ago, and she said that she is “free every weekend except the middle of February.” My mom (58) said that only one date worked for her and my fiancés family said they didn’t care they just wanted to celebrate us. This passed Saturday my mom picked a date and we called and made reservations and we were all super excited to finally celebrate all of our families coming together and meeting for the first time. Sunday, my sister sent out a group text saying she was going out of town to pick up the crib for her baby (she is due in late September) and won’t be back until mid April. She said it’s still “up for debate” and “unsure of details” since her husbands (38) mom (61) hasn’t made any concrete plans to come up the weekend of our planned engagement dinner. I told my sister it would mean a lot if she was there because our families have never met and if she could go another weekend. My mom texted me separately saying I need to change the date and that I was being “rigid” since I only said I could do one day. I said it’s fine if my sister can’t come it’s just weird that she was free until the final plan came out that now she can’t.I said that I can’t change the plans now because 1. We already made reservations (for a big group, which is already hard as it is). 2. Everyone the day before was in agreement with the date. And 3. Is it really important to get the crib in April when the baby isn’t due until September (this may be where I am the AH- or any part since brides can be AH)Also side story, my fiancé told my sister when he was going to propose and the day before he did, she told my parents that she was pregnant - which I didn’t think much of at the time but my friends all think she’s the AH for not waiting since she was aware of the date of the engagement. I’m still unsure since you never know when you’re going to be pregnant if you’re trying and it’s very exciting. (Edited for typo)AITA?",AITA for not changing the date of my engagement dinner,NTA
10ve8jp,"I (22F) took my (ex)friend (21F) to an inpatient program in October of 2021 and it has completely blown up in my face. For context, this person, who we will call Karol, lives with two roommates she hates. When I say hate, I mean when she cries, she has to cry by the dumpsters because if she cries in her apartment, her roommates will make fun of her for being a crybaby. I set her up in a private room at my work because she didn’t want her roommates to hear her talk about them in therapy.In October, she broke it off with her girlfriend(20F) of two months who I am also close to. It was a very mutual break up as Karol couldn’t provide this ex enough time or energy due to her mental health. She’s complained about living with her roommates for as long as I have known her and I could compile a series of books of just the texts she has sent me about them. Karol’s mental health was getting more worrisome and texted me that she felt that she would be “better off dead.” Personally, I’ve had family with extensive history in inpatient psychiatric care and I’m not the biggest fan of those systems, but I was really worried. I talked to her ex about this and she was also worried and agreed that I should bring up inpatient care. I had Karol come to my office and I explained inpatient and outpatient programs and where they would be and what they would do. After some discussion, we went to her apartment and grabbed some stuff and left for an inpatient program together. After, Anna sent me a long DM about how I “conspired with her ex gf to put her in the mental hospital” and I just blocked her.Months later (February), her roommate Anna, is in one of my classes and although it’s definitely weird, I just let it be. I think we may have made eye contact like once or twice accidentally. Three weeks into the semester, she walks by my seat and says “you left something at our apartment a while ago” and gives me a piece of paper. Being the gullible idiot I am, I take it and say “thank you” because it was kind of her to give it back to me. It was the hospital bill for Karol’s stay. Also, again Karol does not pay any bills or have any way of making her own money and exclusively uses her parents’ money so she wouldn’t even be responsible for paying the bill. Because it was the beginning of class, I just turned around and told Anna “you’re funny” and she responded “well, you’re the one who forced her to go there.” Mind you, she could have been involuntarily admitted. I could’ve called 911 after that message, but we went together on public transit after picking up her stuff from her apartment. Honestly, I am just in disbelief at this situation. If anything, that was one of the hardest weeks of my life and I am willing to put it behind me. For Anna and Karol to not only come up with this insane theory that I forced Karol to go to the hospital in an effort to get her and her ex back together but also to keep it up for so long and harass me with it in class? AITA?",AITA for taking my mentally ill friend to the mental hospital?,NTA
10vdsqq,"So, I live in the eighth floor and fyi my hallway always smells like weed. And I smoke but what I do sometimes when it’s cold I would open up my window and puff it outside so the smell won’t be stuck at my place. The neighbor who lives a floor above me had her window opened and smelled it and started yelling. I didn’t apologize or said am sorry for the inconvenience but I said instead of yelling you can just go ahead and make a complaint about me in the leasing office because I didn’t want to engage in a verbal argument. See all I think is sometimes the vent brings some smells or even when I have my windows open I can smell someone else’s cooking and I may not like it but I just end up closing my window. Do you guys think I should of apologized?",AITA for telling my neighbor he can go and make a complaint directly about me smoking out my window?,YTA
10vd75z,"Here’s some background before the meat: I (28F) have been friends with my (29F) best friend since middle school, so for 14 years. We’ve been tight up until she got married but still kept a good report with each other. I began dating her brother after she set us up on several dates. During Covid my then bf, now husband, lost his job and since I was the only one working, my friend felt bad and asked for us to live with her. While living there, my husband and I got into a heated argument that resulted in his sister kicking him out. She noticed she lost her jewelry and thought she left it in her brothers car. She tells him that he owes her money for the jewelry if he can’t find it in his car. I had then told her my plans of leaving to go live with my mom and she started treating me really bad by ignoring me because she felt I should stay with her instead of my mom. I never told her that I got back with my husband as soon as it happened and wanted to tell her when I was ready. Well, two months after leaving, she found out that I was moving back with my husband. She was angry and said I owe her money for her jewelry and I kindly told her I don’t believe I’m responsible since I’m not the one who left it laying around for it be lost in the first place. She told me she loved me while telling me that I was taking advantage of her kindness and how to manage my money in order to pay her back. I told her that I don’t agree with anything she’s saying nor do I owe her money just because she says I do. Since telling her that, she’s blocked me on everything, which I really don’t care about because I believe I didn’t do anything wrong to begin with. I stayed with her 6 months after she kicked him out and not once did she ever bring up me being responsible for her jewelry. Am I the asshole for telling her that I don’t owe money for her jewelry?",AITA for not giving my friend money for her jewelry?,NTA
10vcwf6,"Im (30F) from an extremely religious town, but I live in a city with my sister (25F physically handicapped). My mother (55F) lives in the town and when she separated from my father more than 15 years ago it was traumatic for all of us. My mom's family turned their backs on her for separating from a Catholic marriage just because my father (65M) was unfaithful (sarcasm).We have a somewhat strained relationship because my mother is very religious and Im not. My sister is in the middle. My sister and I dont approve of her new relationship but we respect her. My mother's boyfriend (48M) has been with her for 7 years. He is different than my father, as he is not educated, has no steady job and has two children from prev marriage. He is very religious, drops ignorant and conservative comments. My mother loves him and doesnt understand that his attitudes are not welcomed by us, she says that we cant understand him.Today my mother gathered my sister and me to ask us, if we would be okay with her marrying her boyfriend. She says that living out of wedlock, her morality does not allow her to take communion and that emotionally she feels very bad about not doing so. The options the priest gave her were to marry or break up with her boyfriend. My sister burst into tears, said she completely disagreed with the marriage, she fears that the same thing will happen again as during the divorce with my father. My mother suffered a lot during the divorce, financial uncertainty, therapy, a physical fight, depression, all the pack.I told her that I didn't think it was sufficient justification for not being able to receive communion, the fact is that she wants to get married. I didn't agree, but I understood if she got married anyway, she is older and deserves to be happy in a relationship. I told her that whether she marries or not, my only condition for supporting her is to guarantee that she will legally maintain her finances apart from her boyfriend, she needs to guarantee a secure and comfortable old age, I do not want her boyfriend to take away the business she has built and her house.She told me that if I was worried about my inheritance. I am legally responsible for my sister because of her disability, so all the inheritance would be handled by me. I told her that I was not interested in her money or the inheritance, I have my own business, my own home (fully adapted for my sister's disability) and I support my sister. In the event of my mother's death, I would invest the money for my sister's future (as her disease is degenerative) and manage the two businesses. If my sister wants she can keep my mother's business or sell it.She cried too and said it wasn't fair that she had to choose between her religion, family or her partner and that I was very insensitive like my father. I told her that my feelings doesnt matter in the decision and that we were not going to turn our backs on her as a family.AITA for say to my mom that im not agree her new marriged?",AITA for not agree with my mother new marriged?,YTA
10vg2n4,My sister was a total tomboy growing up which caused a lot of problems with our parents in particular our dad. I think he always wanted a girly girl and she was like a boy in every way except biologically. They didn’t have a good relationship and fought all the time. Our dad would make remarks about her not taking care of her appearance and running around all day and tanning dark in the process. My room was directly next to the living room and I would listen to my parents complaining to each other about my sister’s future and how no one would want to marry her because she’s nothing like a girl. Then my sister wanted to be geologist like my dad and wanted to study geology in uni. She always loved rocks and collected rocks growing up. Our dad told her geologists got laid off all the time and the pay sucked to try to get her to choose something else. She was convinced to do teaching probably because it was a female profession but after first year she dropped out because she HATED it. Then she took a year off and got involved with a tech start up. Loved it and went back to university to do a degree in compute science. Our parents told her they would pay for the year of the education degree she did but they wouldn’t pay for the compute science degree because they had some financial problems.A year after she graduated I started a degree in geology and our parents said they would pay for my entire degree. This is a few months after they told her they couldn’t pay for her degree so she had to pay off her loans herself. I knew it was probably because they didn’t like her profession but didn’t say anything until she asked.  She did probably because she the same suspicions as me. Our parents always said we were guaranteed our undergrad paid for and as soon as she did a computer science degree they go back on their word? Lots of stuff happened but long story short they fought about it for a while until my sister told them she will never talk to them again and cut her out of their lives. My mom knew I told her because no one else knows that thinks I’m intentionally ruining their relationship. But they never took her threat seriously until she got engaged and I got a invite to my sister’s wedding and they didn’t. AITA for telling my sister I am getting college paid for and she isn’t probably because she’s doing a degree they didn’t want her to?,AITA for telling my sister I am getting college paid for while she isn’t?,NTA
10vfvv9,"   So this happens at home and at work. Minor thing but it does irk me. Trying to use a microwave at home or work when I notice it's not responding to my timer input. I look and notice someone had left a few seconds on the timer and removed their food without resetting the timer. At work and at home,  one or two will not reset it because they hate the beeping sound, but it's ok for me to reset it each time? I guess it's really the whole returning the shopping cart thing.Am I the asshole?",AITA for thinking people should use the clear button on the microwave?,NAH
10vf0sz,"I'm (21F) and my best friend is also (21M) now don't get me wrong he's the most supported person I know, we've been best friends for years. The past 2 years weren't the best for me as things were really going down for me. I couldn't continue my education because of many financial issues, I've been struggling with different jobs but still couldn't make the end meet, there's just loads of debt I need to take care of, so I understand the fact it's his money and he can spend it whatever way he wants, but he doesn't need to send me invoices of everything he buys. I don't get it what's the point. Yes good for you but you literally even need the new one. But then again it's his choice to buy one. I'm not even jealous I'm just so mentally drained. But I feel so guilty whenever I tell him that I'm happy for him but am I happy for him? I feel like a literal fake friends.",AITA for not feeling any kind of emotions whenever my best friend shows off how rich he is?,NTA
10ves99,"English isn't my first language. Okay so I'm think I may be the asshole about this one. I (16F) have a little sister who I'll call B (13F). Since I'm the older one, I've always have to do more chores, and have to reach higher grades than B, but it's normal because I'm the oldest. My parents always expect me to act like an adulte. Today, B had a friend over, C (13F). Important thing to say is that when she is in public, B can act like a spoiled little princess, and expect me to do everything for her (it's also like that in private, but in public she is much more disrespectful). So I did all of the houses chores, since my parents were at work and B and I are on vacation, and light up the fire place. I then make lunch for B, C and for me, an after eating, I get to my room to do my homeworks. Before that, I specially go outside to get a couple of logs for B because I asked her to please, watch the fireplace since her and C were going to stay in the living room. But when my father (43M) and mother (44F) got home and I came to say hi, they began to yell at me because the fire was off, and the kitchen was a mess. When I look, I saw that B hasn't use any of the logs that I brought her, and that her and C, who has already left at the time, has baked something (I can't say what it was because it was completely barbecued) and left everything on the kitchen. I then explain to my parents that I did all the chores on the house, that it wasn't me that let the kitchen like that, and that I specifically asked B to watch the fireplace. But it turns out they already knew that and proceed to yell at me for not cleaning after my sister, and expecting her to clean. When I say that it wasn't fair at all and that I literally did everything while she was with her friends watching TV, they got even more mad and told me that since I'm the oldest it's my job, and that I was being an ingratefull and spoiled little brat. They say they expect me to apologize to B for asking her to watch the fireplace, and give up my phone and computer for two weeks as punishment. Then I snaped and told them to fuck off, that they were completely unfair toward me, and that if they expect me to be a babysitter to B and her friends, then they must pay me to do it. I then rush to my room and called my uncle (25M dad's little brother), who came and take me to his place, where I am currently. Since I'm with him, I got nasty text for all my maternal family, saying that I'm a spoiled little bitch who act entitled even though I wasn't a wanted child (words of my grandmother). My paternal grandparents are one my side, so are my uncle and a bunch of friends my parents text to ""let them know about how childish I was"". My sister text me too, saying I was being a stubborn asshole and that if I can get over myself, then I would be more loved.I'm in the guest room of my uncle's place and I can't sleep because of that so please Reddit, IATA?","AITA for saying my parents that if they expect me to act as a babysitter, they have to pay me?",NTA
10vefo1,"So I (31F) live with my mom and my daughter (4F) lives with us too. My daughter tends to hop into bed with my mom every evening which she does not mind. She dotes on her granddaughter. This evening, I was busy drying my hair in the next room and just about switched the hairdryer off to hear my daughter, paging through a book and “telling a story”. Of course, it was not the real story but it was her telling her version of the tale. I got so excited at her enthusiasm and emphasis on each animal, that I tried sneaking in quietly to see her telling a story for the very first time. My mom eyed me first and I saw she was recording a video, and she basically shooed me out the room with her hand. Like, “don’t disturb. Go away!”. I walked out and a couple minutes later, she sent me the videos of my daughter reading. I then confronted her and said it wasn’t really nice, I’d have loved to see her tell the story for the very first time. My mom recorded this because it really was a first for my daughter, and as a mom, every little moment counts :). My mom then sighed and got annoyed at the confrontation and I asked her not to sigh because this was genuinely something I wanted to witness with my own eyes rather than a video. I do know that this moment will surely happen again, but my mom became a bit of a bitch, acting as if I’m fucking crazy for saying I really wanted to see this, and me physically seeing this would have been special to me and more important than her video. It was almost like “wtf are you on about? It’s nothing”. AITA? Or was I wrong? This is really bothering me.",AITA: My Mom Made me Miss my Daughter’s first story,NTA
10ved86," My (27) wife and I are celebrating our five year anniversary tonight and we made reservations to do a super fun activity like three months ago. We have a 12 week old daughter for whom we needed to find a babysitter for the time we would be out; 6:45pm - 11:30pm. As it turns out all of our usual babysitters are out of town tonight so I reached out to my older sister (35) to ask if we can leave our baby daughter by her house for that time. I said that she is generally a well behaved baby but there is no guarantee that shell be asleep by 10pm which is my sister's usual bedtime. Add to this that my sister and her husband have four sons ranging between the ages of 16yo - 4yo and she is currently pregnant with her fifth child and she is in her ninth month.By way of background, throughout all of the years my sister had her children and I was not yet married I was always available to help her out with her kids. I picked them up from school and sitter more times than I can remember. I came over to tutor them in math and help them with their school work. I babysat them at nights and on three separate occasions. I actually moved into her house for a few days at a shot. I even moved into their house once with my 6 month old son (he's 2 now).All the while we never complained and we were happy to do it because family is family. At the same time, my sister did not have many opportunities to reciprocate because my needs were always so much less than hers. I used her netflix account for years and I would often come visit her house when I needed a place to relax. I put my son to sleep by her twice over the last year and she picked my son up from daycare once. I am not trying to be tit for tat but I just want to paint a picture about how this relationship has worked. We are very close.So back to my story, I ask her if I can leave my 12 week old daughter with her and she tells me in no uncertain terms (but very nicely) ""I need my sleep so if you want to leave her here until 10:00 you can."" I passive aggressively responded to her ""most babies are born sleep trained and go to sleep at around 10:00 so you having a baby soon won't pose any problem for you."" She got upset with me and told me I was making her feel bad that she needed sleep. I responded that given how much I had done for her over the years I was hurt that she couldn't give up an extra hour and half of her sleep to help me out even though she is in her ninth month.She wants me to apologize but I think I did nothing wrong. AITA???",AITA for making a nasty comment to my sister when she refused to babysit my daughter?,YTA
10vdqt6,"Hi there Reddit so last Saturday (the 4th) I was out at my school, and my and my former best friend have some drama going on at the moment, I won’t get into that to spare you guys but basically she replaced me.so I (15 trans masc) and my replacement let’s call her Lexi(15 female) were sitting next to each other in the theater because there was no other seats to sit in. Here’s some background information, my former friend was there on stage at the time, they got nervous and step down from the stage, and they don’t want me texting them but I wanted to make sure that they were okay and whatnot. So I did and I’m pretty sure that they left to go home after stepping away from the stage but that’s not what I’m here to talk about.so as I already said, I was sitting next to Lexi she was talking to one of her friends saying stuff like “I just got second hand embarrassment“ and that my former friend was a “horrible singer“ it was just back and fourth non stop shit talk about my former friend, and now I feel really bad for being nosy and stuff and my friends that I told are calling me an asswholehelp me Reddit, am I the asswhole?",AITA for looking over my replacements shoulder and reading her text message conversations?,YTA
10vdp2s,"I (37f) just married my husband, Jushin (39m) in November. We had been together 10 years before he proposed and decided that an expensive wedding wouldn't make sense.My (ex)best-friend (37f), Gracie and her husband, Khaden (39m), accepted being part of the bridal party. They had been having their own financial issues for some time, and she had come to me here and there for loans, but I did not mind or care, because she was my best friend and I felt she deserved the world.My (then) fiancé had been hanging out at our place with Gracie's husband one day, and Khaden asked and said some things about our financial situation. Things like, we probably would not be able to afford our new home if something happened to our jobs and that we had jumped into living at our new place too soon. He also bragged about being able to save money because his rent was in the low hundreds. He later also asked Jushin if he had cheated on me at any point, to which Jushin said, ""No"". Khaden kept pushing by saying, ""Well, you know I wouldn't care if you did, right?"" Jushin still said he had never cheated, and the matter was dropped. When my fiancé spoke to me later, he asked if I had put Khaden up to the task of testing him, and I vehemently denied even knowing what he was talking about. When he explained, I got upset, but we decided to leave it alone for the time being.Leading up to the wedding, Gracie was a great bridesmaid. She was there for each event and went out of her way to help decorate. Everything was great.The bridesmaids dresses were fairly cheap, and she was able to purchase one for herself. The suits for the groomsmen, were a little bit more expensive, but the guys were able to pay for them in installments. The issue began when Jushin had found out from the suit tailor that Khaden had not even gone to get measured and we were two weeks away from the wedding. This made Jushin upset, but he reached out to Khaden, who said he would take care of it. I decided to reach out to Gracie to ask her what was going on, and she said that she would set up the appointment, but Khaden later came back with a text (not a call) laying out all the things he had had to pay for saying that he wouldn't have the money until that Friday, but it wasn't guaranteed. My fiancé was confused by this, but asked Khaden to keep him posted.When I spoke to Gracie, she confronted me saying that Jushin and I should have known that Khaden was asking for help financially. Nowhere in the text did he ask for help. She was upset with us and explained that their finances were a sensitive topic and that we should have understood what he needed. I was confused by this because he had just been talking about how well he was doing. This conversation went on for hours, and I told her that I would lend her the money.AITA for not telling my (ex) best friend that her husband is an a\*\*hole?ETA: Just before the wedding day, at a group meeting, Jushin was discussing his stress with another groomsman, to which Khaden said that he should relax. Jushin cussed at Khaden saying that he was only adding to his stress over the effing suit. Jushin then realized that Khaden's boys were playing nearby, and he apologized for swearing. Khaden said it was alright, but later sent a long text (no call) about feeling disrespected and needing to hold his tongue. Jushin tried to call Khaden to apologize, but he ignored him for two days.When I spoke to Gracie about it, I apologized for Jushin's swearing and said it was inappropriate, but Khaden wouldn't even speak to him. Gracie said that Khaden was in pain and could not talk. WHAT? I believed it was a cop out, but I left it, and the guys decided that they would leave well enough alone.Day of the wedding, everything goes well, until after reception time. The Master of Ceremony spoke to some of the wedding party, asking how they knew the bride and groom, and Khaden's answer was, ""I don't know them, and I don't know why I'm here."" She told us about his answer and I was hurt. I thought to talk to Gracie about it, but decided it wasn't the day. I just briefly explained to her that I think we should have a talk about something that the MC told us.The day after the wedding, one of my bridesmaids, Holly, told me that Khaden had been talking to her best friend, Kara, and he had told Kara that he and Gracie were actually divorced and that he regretted having children. He also messaged her the day after the wedding, asking her to hang out. I did not want to be involved in the foolishness, especially since I believed that Gracie was going to believe and defend Khaden no matter what he said, and I would be seen as the hating friend who was trying to break them up.Fast forward to the day after Jushin and I returned from our honeymoon, I reach out to Gracie and she asks me what happened after the wedding. She explained that she had been looking for Khaden during the wedding and found him talking to another girl in her car. I did not want to tell her what I had heard, but she pulled it out of me. She was upset that I had not told her, but I explained to her that I did not want to be involved and that she was going to defend Khaden no matter what. She was more upset with me than with the person causing all of the drama.",AITA for not telling my best friend that her husband is an a-hole?,NTA
10vdny6,"I'll try to keep this as concise as possible because character limit. Any questions I will answer.So our main DM who I'll call V (18M), has invented a new way to play the game, called ""small-shots"". Basically, it's a series of small one-shots that functions as a campaign where anyone can play and anyone can DM. Imagine a huge campaign divided in 2-hour long games; a player can participate if they want to, just as how they can chose not to, and nothing will change. Think it as being individual missions published in a mission board: Any adventurer can take them up or they can pass. Everything is happening in the same world, so there's continuity in every mission. In this game mode, you as a player can have more than one character you can use for the small-shots (for clarification, you can only take one at a time).So, back on theme. V's girlfriend, M, has been playing with us for a bit over a year, and logically has amassed a good amount of characters for herself. In our DnD group, there's a good amount of artists, including me and our DM, and I'd say M is one of the most experienced ones, so it's no surprise that M came up with the designs and drew all of her characters herself.This takes us to the situation at hand. We were hanging out and talking about DnD with V, M, and two other DnD players, N and Z. M bought up that she had been working in a new character and that she finally did a drawing of her. She then pulled out her phone to show us, and  let me tell you, this character looked EXACTLY like this other somewhat popular videogame character. I mean, it was basically a ripoff. Something to highlight is that it was definitely her drawing, and it WAS a very good drawing, there's no denying that. However, the design was the one that called my attention. I mean, the clothes were different, it was completely her design and i can accept that, the hairstyle was slightly changed as well as the colors, but everything else was exactly like this other character. So I said ""But that's just the character from ""X"" videogame!"". M kinda laughed it off but I insisted that everything was exactly like this other character, because I mean it's true. Then N and Z changed the subject and we left it at that. The day after, V contacted me and tore me a new one saying that I acted like a dick and that I was out of line being so insistent. M puts a lot of effort in all of her characters and this new one she's been working on for months; she's mentioning completely changing her design now because she feels its not original enough.Now I agree that she comes up with amazing concepts and designs. Her first ever DnD character is a Spirits Bard that's a runaway messiah of his own religion who's chained to thousand of restless spirits and his design is one of the coolest I've ever seen. However, this new character just wasn't it. AITA in this situation??",AITA for telling a player her DnD character looks like another videogame character?,YTA
10vdesw,"Last night I invited some friends over to my apartment and we were playing Tetris loudly. At approximately 10pm my upstairs neighbor called me. I ignored the call because I knew she was calling to complain about the noise, but I told my friends to lower their voices and we stopped playing. Then we started watching the new episode of “the last of us” which ended at around 12 and everyone left. When I woke up I saw she messaged the buildings group chat complaining about loud noises last night saying that I was “blasting my tv until 12”, that my dogs fight and make noise, that my roomate started talking on the phone and singing at 5am, and that she could smell weed coming through her window. I apologized and explained that my roomate works from home as a sales representative from 5am to 1pm and that my dogs sometimes growl while playing (they never fight).I think I’m in the wrong about the weed smell (even though it’s legal here) so I already bought a weed vaporizer to reduce it, and I’m gonna be smoking in a different area of my apartment. Regarding the talking, I told her there is not much my roomate can do, and she said he should close his window and lower his voice. Keep in mind that he doesn’t even talk loud, I’ve heard him answering calls and he just talks in a normal and clear voice. Also, right now it’s summer and we don’t have air conditioning so closing the window is not an option for him.Regarding my dogs I’m not sure what I can do to get them to stop playing and growling. Also, she has a little dog that always barks and cries when left alone, but I’ve never complained about it since it doesn’t bother me much. And I didn’t mention anything about the tv since we were watching the show at volume 20 (which in my tv is just loud enough to understand the show without subtitles).How should I handle the situation? I don’t want to keep giving her reasons to complain, but I only have one tv in my house and don’t know what to do about my dogs.Also, she keeps finding reasons to complain. 4 months ago she texted me saying that her car had a scratch and that it could’ve only been my fault since she parked outside, next to my garage. But in the 3 days her car was parked on the street I only used mine once and I didn’t scratch hers.",AITA for bothering my neighbor,YTA
10vbcg7,"Okay so I live in a cold city this winter and I have 2 new roommates, Kait and Tom. Kait (25 F)makes lots of comments about being financially strapped and always looking for ways to save money and recently she pointed out that our gas bill in our apt is high. She suggested that when we turn off the heat when we don’t need it.I (25 M) was a little weary cuz I’ve lived in colder places where pipes will freeze if u don’t put the heat on. But I a agreed and make an attempt to turn it off. Also I should mention I’m pretty skinny and often cold.But our other roommate Tom (25 M) is a bigger gentlemen and definitely does not feel the cold as bad as me. But he will create a cross breeze in our apartment by opening his bedroom window (it’s always open) and then opening our living room window. Heat off in our apartment currently and our thermostat says 62 degrees f. but it’s gone down to 57 degrees (with the heat on!) while I was trying to sleep before.I want to respect Kait’s desire to use the heat less but They (and kait leaves windows open to) makes living comfortably difficult without the heat on.",AITA for turning on the heat in my apartment when one of my roommates leaves a window open?,NTA
10vgaer,"So my (f30) family is really big. Lots of aunts and uncles, cousins, many blended and steps, and any event with all the family is gonna be 200+ people. My aunt (moms stepsister) decided to throw her dad (my moms dad) a big surprise party for his 80th with all the family invited. He’s not in great health, and we all kind of know he probably won’t be with us much longer. Not sure why she wants it to be a surprise, that sounds like trouble to me, but not my call. The issue here is that they live about 11 hours from me and my family of 6, and my grandfather has made zero ZERO effort to connect with me and my family in years. Growing up I saw him maybe 6-7 times in about 15 years, and the only visit I remember is when his wife slapped me when I was 4 for touching her daughters doll. He and his wife came to my wedding, and even contributed to alcohol costs which was very generous, but didn’t really interact with us, and since haven’t visited, called, texted, nothing. I have reached out multiple times with no response, even expressed an interest in visiting their city and them and wasn’t even given the curtesy of a refusal, just silence. I personally do not want to go to the party. I gave up reaching out, he wasn’t really a grandfather to me growing up, and I’ll be honest, I don’t think I will be too upset when he passes. Cold? Maybe, but it’s the truth. I will, however, be upset for my mom, and I do know me not attending this party with my family will be upsetting for her and other family members. I feel torn, because I love my mama and I don’t want to hurt her, but I have no desire to spend money to go to a party for someone I just don’t really care about. I wouldn’t mind seeing the other out of state family, but it’s almost about the principal of it all. I haven’t really discussed it with anyone yet, I’m still thinking it all through and thought I might benefit from an objective perspective. So WIBTA if I don’t go to this party?",WIBTA if I don’t go to my grandfathers party?,NTA
10vg5p8,"​I (17F) have 3 siblings (14M, 11F, and 10M). My siblings and I are pretty close as our parents like to have us spend time together. They are pretty lax on most things but take conflict between us seriously as both grew up with siblings who weren’t nice to say the least + now they are no contact.For many years, every weekend we do a shared event together. This is the one time a week we are “forced” to be together. Our parents say it teaches us about diverse interests.The weekend before last was my 14 y/o bro’s turn to pick an activity, we went golfing on that Saturday. He’s the sporty one so his stuff usually revolves around that. My brother likes golfing + over the past 2 years him and some of his friends have become caddies. My brother also likes inviting his friends on his weekends.My brother is part of the popular 8th graders, one of his friends is Liam. Liam is a nice kid, Liam is also openly gay + quite feminine, he does gymnastics and wears makeup.While we were golfing, the youngest, my 10 y/o bro, made some incredibly rude remarks about Liam’s makeup and posture/mannerisms. My parents had to calm things down and punished him when we got home by taking away his phone and making him apologize.Liam didn’t accept the apology, my parents said my brother is grounded until Liam feels better. The issue is my 14 y/o bro refuses to talk to our younger bro. Yesterday, we were having dinner together + the awkwardness between them was becoming unbearable, so I tried starting a conversation between them. This causes the older bro to say out loud that he hated our younger bro. We do have a family therapist, but haven’t seen him since the golfing incident because he had a medical emergency. My mom + dad are mad at me for for “instigating” my bro + now he refuses to talk to me. AITA?",AITA for encouraging my brother to talk to our other brother?,NTA
10vfjs0,"My (38) girlfriend (34) got pregnant after we were together for a year long-distance. We decided to keep it. At first she wanted to give birth in her country but it was important to me our child was born in my country so she eventually agreed.We moved into an apartment together when she was 6m pregnant.The birth was fine, but as soon as the baby was born she got obsessed with the baby, and kind of mean to me - we went immediately into a dead bedroom situation and she would turn down all my advances and make me feel bad if we did have sex. She was critical of me all the time, and really over-protective of the baby. She also would threaten to leave a lot (which is a symptom of Borderline Personality Disorder). Then I was in a car accident (baby was fine) and she got really angry and said she didn't trust me and she wanted me to leave. The apartment was in my name so I said she didn't have the right to make me leave. Then she just left! To her country.Every time I called her she just said I could come and see my baby there, or she would come back but living in a separate apartment. We can't afford that anyway. Then two days ago she stopped picking up the phone and just texted the same thing 'you are welcome to visit her here, or we can discuss separate living arrangements there'.So I lawyered up, and am taking her to court for International Child Abduction.My brother says I over-escalated. But I think she is out of her mind and needs to come back home. AITA?",AITA for taking legal action to return my family to me?,YTA
10vfb04,"I know that sounds like an obvious no, but here is the back story. I (f30) make more money that my bf(31), I am not sure by how much, due to his fluctuating wkly checks, and I am usually not privy to what those checks are, as I try not to ask. Anywhere from $400-$1000 each week. I make around $135k per year.With that said, we both had some CC debt that we have been trying to catch up on, and I recently got a good amount back on my taxes so I was able to pay close to all of my personal debt off, and then we have a shared CC (under my name) that has about 9K on it, that I plan to focus on, and should be able to get it paid off completely in the next 4 monthsish.We use that card for groceries, some bills, and things we do together. We usually split the payment each month for the shared CC, although I still usually pay more, but he does contribute. Since I no longer have any debt on my card that I have alone, and he has his own CC debt that he hasn't been been able to pay much on, I told him that I will work to pay off the 9k, and he doesn't have to pay to it at all. All I ask is that we split rent and some utilities (me still paying more)I WFH and work out a lot, and I usually just wear workout clothes all day, so I wanted to buy a new set which cost me $150. He was not happy about this, and told me that I shouldn't have spent $150 when we are trying to save money (I have some money saved as well)And is basically saying that I shouldn't be ""living a lavish lifestyle when he cant"" I don't live a lavish lifestyle by any means. The most name brand stuff I buy on OCCASION is Lulu, but I don't buy anything designer. I shop amazon basically. Anyway, he said its not fair that I buy things for myself when he can't (I have offered and have bought things for him, he never likes it and just gets upset.) He said, that it's not fair that I spent money on Christmas on my son and my siblings and my parents, when he wasn't able to. Even though I said all of the presents were from us. He said he wants to save so we can travel, (which I will most likely pay most of anyway) nd I should not have spent 150.And I just am at a loss as to why, if I am paying for mostly everything, don't ask him to contribute, and if I were to? I am sure he would have something negative to say. I have even offered to help him pay off his CCs, but no matter what I do, or say in regards to money, he is upse. Offer to help him? Hes upset. pay for everything? upset and says that that makes him feel bad. k fine then, ask him to pay wtever hes comfortable with? upset because now he cant pay off his cc.Its like we are constantly in this cycle and nothing I do makes him happy. I feel defeated bc I am trying my best to make sure he dsn't feel bad about me making more money than him. I dn't ever use that as a way to have power over him, ever. If anything, hes still the one that wears the pants in a lot of ways. I feel like most people who were in his position would be happy even thankful? Idk. AITA?",AITA for using my own money to buy things for myself?,NTA
10vez0b,"This weekend I fulfilled my dream of going to Havana, Cuba for my birthday, but the 3 friends I invited ruined the experience from my POV. From their POV, they did nothing wrong.We're all digital nomads based in one nearby country. I (F40) was supposed to go to Havana last year with my friend (M31), but we couldn't make it happen till this year. This year he brought his new girlfriend (F23), so I invited another female friend (F35) to avoid third-wheeling. I know her for a short time. The male friend is one of my best friends.Bear in mind Cuba has almost no WiFi, and almost no one speaks English. M31 and F35 are native Spanish speakers. I made it clear that I wouldn't feel comfortable without them. The moment we landed, my female friend realized her former colleague lives in Havana. He's very attractive. This man accompanied us on all our group activities, plus took out my female friend separately. She said it wasn't romantic, but she was glued to his side of her every moment as if they were a couple. And the actual couple is in the honeymoon stage so spent the entire trip having hushed private conversations.So essentially, I ended up a FIFTH WHEEL instead! Much of the time I was trailing behind, feeling awkward. And they had their own agendas and schedules. ""We all have different reasons for being here."" I thought the reason was to celebrate my birthday! So of course there was a lot of splitting up. A few times they did accommodate my wishes, but several times I was told to go do my thing and we'll meet later at the Airbnb.I was so upset, I broke down in tears much of the trip. When I expressed my POV to them, I felt gaslighted. ""But we're not a couple!"" ""You can't expect me to spend 24/7 with you!"" ""I didn't realize this trip came with such a commitment!"" The commitment: hang out with me and include me in conversations and outings, and don't leave me alone on a 4-DAY TRIP!I even asked my female friend, once, gently via text, ""Do you think you can ask your friend to sit out this one last night so we can spend time together?"" She basically said no, he's coming with us. The next day, she made it seem like I yelled, ""Tell him to stay home! I don't want him here!"" I never did that. I communicated gently.She also spent 15 minutes berating me on a street corner. ""Yes, you invited me but I paid for my own trip!"" Translation: even though you invited me, I'm going to do what's most convenient for me, like hanging out with this hot guy who knows the ins and outs of Havana."" Now I'm told I was a drama queen, impossible to please, and that I made it an awful experience for everyone. My ""friendship"" with this female friend is over, and my relationship with my dear male friend is strained. As a final insult to injury, his Instagram post about Havana included pictures of everyone but me! When I confronted him about it, he said, ""Don't overthink it.""AITA?",AITA for for expecting my friends to prioritize me on my birthday trip to Cuba?,YTA
10vek7x,"for context my mum died from cancer when i was 13 after a 5 year long battle. on the second of may 2019. my dad got married in october 2021 since he cant handle being a single dad (she agreed to be a SAHM) and he can't cook well. i had 2 cats (female + indoor ) and dont have them anymore. in august 2021, i got 2 kittens at 6 weeks who are both female and look very similar to the old ones. they are both now 1 yr and 7 months years old. i begged my dad to buy them and this time got them spayed at 6 months and they have never experienced heat even once. my dad and brothers were against having them but they warmed up to them after a year. my uncles and aunties didn't understand why i needed them but they wasn't bothered. the exception called 'Gary' (in law) who has 3 daughters and is 40+.when i got my cats, i looked after them and cleaned their tray (exception is when i was doing my exams where my dad did them). my dad said only a year we will have them but when it came to be a year, he asked me if i want to get rid of them and i said no so they stayed. Gary really didn't like my cats. he for some reason comes to our house once every month or sometimes twice a month and doesnt see them anyway. the front room where the cat tree and cat food is and is sleep there too. Gary seems to have really hated the cats after he knew about this.my dads wife 'kate' (all fake names) is coming to the uk from her own country. she said she used to have a cat as a kid and is ok with the cats. my uncle insisted i get rid of the cats. he always asks me and my dad when we will get rid of them when he comes to our house and my dad said soon. a month before she was supposed to come, Gary's wife's aunt died in the other country but for some reason, Gary came to my house to pay respects instead of going to Gary's house. he keeps commenting on the cats and when we will get rid of them but now a few days before Kate comes, my uncle called me out of the blue (never usually calls) and asks me how i am and then quickly talked about getting rid of my cats and giving them to a shelter.Gary called my dad 2 days ago and asked and my dad was firm and said he wont be getting rid of them. today, my dad asked Gary about buying a radio and then Gary quickly talked about my cats. he said Kate is coming in 2 days and we need to get rid of them. he said when will you go to the shelter to give them away and my dad said no.Gary then insisted on getting rid of them. saying all sorts of excuses to get them out saying they smell and their cat tray smells (i scoop it everyday and they bury their waste) (and they dont smell as they are clean indoor cats). my dad then told him if he wanted them and Gary said no they smell. this is all my dad told me about their conversation and i feel like an asshole cause maybe i should get rid of them but i dont want to and i honestly see them as family. AITA?",AITA for not selling my 2 cats because my uncle doesn't like them?,NTA
10veddy,So let’s begin it was my friends party let’s call her tia so at tias party we all got a bit drunk and when I get drunk all my emotions start to come out I start crying about my dad because he passed away this always happens when I get drunk my other friends let’s call her Beth and kent (I’m not good at making names sorry) told me to stop or go home so I stopped and I kept getting drunk it turn out fun in the end but then Beth and Kent walk me home and was telling me how i ruined the party because I cried I got home and they started texting me saying don’t speak to them I ruined everything but they was also having a go at my other friend for being sick I don’t know if I deserved all these text because after we had a lot of fun and me and the tia and a bunch of other girls were taking pictures in her room she didn’t say anything about me crying at all  Am I the asshole,AITA for crying at my friends party,YTA
10vd6jy,So my (19m) parents speak Spanish because their parents were born in Mexico and they want me to learn Spanish along with their family who wants me to learn. People give me so much backlash for not being able to speak Spanish but to them I look Mexican. I feel like that backlash will never go away since I will still have an accent even if I become fluent so what’s the point? They expect you to speak perfect Spanish and perfect English and I just can’t do that. Having an American accent will just make me more of a no sabo kid and be more embarrassing than if I just don’t know Spanish at all.,AITA for not wanting to learn my parent’s language because I’ll have an accent?,YTA
10vmgzi,"For context, my brother (26m) and I (18f) have never gotten along. He’s hated me since before I was even born. He spent my entire childhood controlling everything I did, watched, and even ate. At Christmas he pissed me off. I was quite proud of myself for buying my first vehicle all on my own. He called my truck a POS. Then said to our parents, “Insurance companies statistically have higher rates for female drivers than males.” He was absolutely insinuating they shouldn’t put me on their policy. Simply because he’s been on their policy since he turned 16 and has never paid for insurance. He knew damn well he was getting bumped off when I was added. First of the year, our mom told him to get his own policy. He was pretty salty about that. Fast forward to this past weekend, it was our dad’s birthday. Honestly, I didn’t even want to go and sit through my brother’s usual bullshit about how great he is. But I went, and as usual pretty much remained quiet. My brother asks, so when are you moving out? I was like excuse me? He says, “You’re 18 now, you need to get out on your own now.” Literally no one said anything, so I told him it’s none of his business. He says, “Well I moved out at 19.” Here’s where things spiraled. I said to him, “Your’e not even on your own yet since you haven’t bothered paying a single penny of rent in 7 years.” He was fuming and tried changing the topic. My mom made a comment about that soon changing. Brother’s girlfriend was like what? So I told her, he moved out at 19 and hasn’t paid our parents a penny of rent all these years. She was livid, unbeknownst to anyone at that table, she had been paying my brother rent for two years because he led her to believe he was paying rent. The topic went off somewhere else. Then right back to me. My brother trying to give me fatherly advice by saying I should focus on my current job and forget wasting time with college. This was absolutely unsolicited advice. It pisses me off when he does this because he always does it, and acts like because of our age gap he has SO much more knowledge than stupid ass me. He again comments about me moving out, says to our dad…”I can’t believe you haven’t kicked her out after she brought all those animals in your house.” They both laugh. I had enough, I got up from the table and yelled JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. My mom understood, but she doesn’t want the family to fight. My dad said I was extremely rude by lashing out, caused a scene, made undue stress and embarrassed everyone. Apparently after I walked out, my brother says…”Well she obviously has something wrong in her head.” I felt bad because I’m sure a few kids dining with their families heard me, and I shouldn’t have cussed in front of them. Andddd…I guess I should have held it in and dealt with it later but I’ve always let this crap slide and I was sick of it. AITA?",AITA for yelling JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE during a family dinner at a crowded restaurant?,NTA
10vi1cx,"My wife was a lot younger than me and she had a ten year old son when we met.  Her ex had shared custody.  I had a couple of grown children from my first wife.  My stepson Charlie and I never really bonded.  He had a father and he made it clear I wasn't his parent just his mom's husband.  I respected this, he was always polite and respectful, just distant.  I helped pay for his university when he went and we attended his graduation.  When he got married our invitation was made out to his mother plus one.  That was kind of a slap in the face but we still attended and gave them a substantial cash gift to start their life.  The thank you card didn't have my name on it.  My first wife had passed away from.cancer and it broke me.  I didn't want to go through that again. Her youth was one thing that attracted me to my second wife. I know it was selfish.  But I liked having a beautiful young wife to take care of and she liked me well enough. I didn't realize how much I loved her until she died. She passed away from a stroke. She was 49.  Charlie came to the funeral with his family. His wife whom I had only met at the wedding and his kids. We had known he had kids but he had never made the effort to bring them for a visit.  My wife loved the kids but Charlie wouldn't make the effort to come see us.  My wife only had a very small estate and she left it all to Charlie. He also took almost everything of sentimental value that she owned before we got married.  I didn't begrudge him any of it. My first grandchild just graduated cum laude last year  and I went to his graduation. My son and his wife have worked hard to get their kids into college and I am proud of them. My son mentioned that my grandson had a job waiting and would be debt free pretty quick.  I asked how much he owed.  Then I wrote him a check to pay it off.  I plan to do this for all my grandchildren.   I guess my daughter-in-law and my stepson's wife are Facebook friends or something.  He found out what I did.  And he came around to ask if I planned to do the same for his children.  I don't really have any connections to his kids.  I don't see them. They don't consider me their grandfather. I've personally only ever seen them at the funeral.  I was really put off by him coming by to ask about money after ignoring me for years.  I know that if my wife were alive she would want me to help out her son. It just felt dirty. I said that I had money for them in my will and if they needed it for university I would give it to them early. He said I'm a petty little man and that his mom would be ashamed of me for treating his kids like this.  I don't really think I owe them anything.  They have a ""real"" grandfather.  I'm only including them in my will for my wife's sake.  So AITA?",AITA for telling my stepson that his kids weren't my responsibility.,NTA
10vojq3," Hi...So, long story short, I (F very early 20s) own a toy that looks like a lipstick. I was headed somewhere after work where I would need this tool, so in my purse it went. It was in a velvet pouch that was in a makeup bag that was inside a pocket that was on the inside of my zipped up, filled to the brim purse.I put the purse where purses go (pretty high area of locker-like compartments) and went about my day. Mind you, the place where we leave personal belongins is outside my working area and no personal belongings are allowed past that point. We aren't allowed to use locks per the boss' request.However, I got called to the front desk for my admin coworker wanted to return something of mine to me. When I got there, she told me that her not very old daughter had gone through my purse and found my ""lipstick"". I stood there in disbelief and expecting an apology to follow her rant as she explained how her child had gone through my purse and through different pockets and mini purses to be able to find that. She said she liked the shade and went to her mom to ask for something similar, then my coworker figured out it wasnt a lipstick once she opened it and saw no pigment and a charging port.She flipped out on me saying how I shouldn't bring that anywhere near my place of work and I stood there, flabbergasted and all I could say is ""she went through my purse? why did you let your daughter go through someone else's purse that was out of reach?"" I also told her I had not brought that anywhere near my workplace, as it was outside and tucked away. I don't think her daughter knows what it was, but it's disturbing to me that she had to find a stool to climb onto the locker area, access my purse and then go through all of it till she found it. I want to make it crystal clear how out of reach the thing was.We didn't come to any sort of agreement and kept blaming each other, so I apologized for her child having found it, as that was not my intention, and told her to keep her child out of my things or out of the personal belonging area entirely.She told my boss about it (we have a very good work environment and boss is more a coworker than a boss) and boss adviced her to keep daughter out of that room since anything legal could be in it, clarifying that legal doesn't mean daughter's age appropriate (alcohol, cigarretes, lighters...) Now my coworker is bitching about it to whoever will listen (again, don't care, pretty good work atmosphere and we are all quite friendly and close, we talk about adult matters often after hours having a drink and one of them was the one to recommend the adult toy to me haha).Coworkers are staying out of it although some of them have privately taken my side. However, main coworker won't let it go and is still butthurt. AITA?",AITA for my coworker's daughter going through my purse and finding something inappropriate?,NTA
10vnhh8,"Throwaway because girlfriend is a Redditor. I (24M) am Canadian and have been in the US for 10 months, where I have been living with my American girlfriend (25F) for 7 of them. My time in the US is almost up, and I'm stressing about having to return to Canada. For one, my family is reliant on me to make money to support my grandma and pay for her medical support. I also want to earn money to give my girlfriend, she deserves the world. Because I have so many side hustles going on to earn money, I admittedly don't spend a lot of time with my girlfriend, but I've always been open with her that I am not able to give her a lot of attention right now even though I love her more than anything.My girlfriend lost her job last month, and as a result has been at the house more often. We live in a one bedroom and split the rent evenly. She understands that I'm busy all day/night, but I don't like when she's sitting in the same room as me. Even her presence is distracting to me, she will try to start conversations and she's not the cleanest, so I would ask her to go to the bedroom for the day while I worked in the living room at my desktop. She was ok with that for a few weeks, but began to complain that she was stuck in the bedroom. She says that since she's paying half the rent, she has every right to be where she wants to be in the house. I agree. So, after a few big fights, we agreed she would leave the house during the day and I would leave the house at night. Well, now she's upset that she's spending all day out of the house. Her car was in an accident last month and has been in the shop, so she's been going to do work in the boba shop by our house. Before anyone asks, I am not able to do the work I do during the day outside of the house, which is why I leave in the evening.Today, my friend was over and was sitting on the couch, where my girlfriend usually eats lunch. I say couch, but it's really an oversized loveseat. My girlfriend went to go sit in her usual spot to eat lunch, but I asked her if she could eat in the kitchen instead so she would have more room to eat. She went to the kitchen, but I could tell she was pissed. When I asked her if everything was ok, she said she was tired of me controlling her. I think she's being selfish and not considering that I need a certain environment to concentrate and get work done, and that I am doing all of this for her and my family and one day I will be able to spend all the time in the world with her, but that right now I am really grinding and most strong relationships are built on sacrifice. So, AITA for asking my girlfriend to accommodate my work schedule?",AITA for asking my girlfriend to leave the house for 6-7 hours a day?,YTA
10vquhh,"My sister has 3 kids (7f, 5m, 1m) fairly recently the youngest (1m) was hospitalized in the paediatric ICU for 3 weeks for a respiratory infection. My sister or brother-in-law never left his side and traded off shifts at the hospital with caring for their other kids at home. My sister spent the majority of time at the hospital (like 2-3 days straight at a time.)Now this is the part where I may be the asshole - we were having a family dinner a week or so after the baby came home and my sister was tearing up talking about the experience and how she couldn’t imagine leaving her child alone in that hospital. I thought that she should know how lucky she was to be able to stay or trade off with her husband so I told her that not everyone has that privilege like a single mom with other kids or working parents. She got quietly angry looked at me and said she didn’t feel so privileged when she had to start CPR on her own child (she works where CPR is mandatory) and left without saying anything else.A few days later I asked her for some of her old baby stuff but she told me she planned on selling them or giving them away to someone else. I get the feeling she still angry at me. My mom agrees that I wasn’t the asshole at the table but my sister is sooo angry AITA?",AITA for pointing out my sister’s privilege?,YTA
10vs6f5,"For many years, I (24F) was friends with (24F). We met in college and became really close ... or so I thought. Savannah I were opposites in many ways. She is very beautiful blonde woman, and really sweet and outgoing. I am pretty too but also awkward and confrontational.One year ago, when I came back to our college state, she offered to come over to my apartment and help me unpack. It was then that she told me she was engaged to Eric (25F). I have always found Eric attractive, but didn't say anything. They had been dating for years, but things had just gotten real! I ignored my shattering heart and congratulated her while she showed off her ring and engagement photos. Some girls seem to have everything just handed to them, I thought. Savannah was one of them.""And you will definitely be on the guest list!"" she told me. I had never been invited to wedding before (sad, I know), and I was excited! Even three months before the wedding, I bought a beautiful wedding guest dress from Michael Kors. This was gonna be FUN!Savannah has always been lively, outgoing, and popular, and her wedding was the major event of the town. All my friends were talking about it. I always had a good fashion sense, so other girls would ask me what I plan to wear to it. We all had a sleepover at Savannah's house and watched ""Bride Wars"", and she handed me a pink invitation for the Rehearsal Dinner. She showed everyone the wedding dress she chose, and looked gorgeous in it! I had never been more envious of someone.However, within a few weeks, I knew something was off. All my other friends had gotten wedding invitations in white envelopes, but I never did. I just had the pink rehearsal dinner card (which everyone else had also gotten) but not the wedding invitation. I was confused. Why would she just invite me to the rehearsal dinner but not the wedding?Thinking it might have been an oversight, or maybe the envelope got lost in the mail, I decided to talk to Savannah about it. I was wondering if she indeed just wanted me to come to the rehearsal dinner but not the wedding.Turns out, she meant exactly that. **""If a spot opens up at my wedding, I'll let you know!""** I was really hurt, especially by the fact that she'd *told* me I'd be invited and asked me to save the date.A week before the wedding, I got a phone call. It was from Savannah. Sure enough, someone had gotten sick, and guess what? They had a spot for me now! She basically told me I am a Plan B!Because dignity is important, I declined going to both the RD and the wedding. I congratulated her and wished both her and Eric the best in their marriage.Months passed, and I hadn't heard from Savannah at all. Then she texted me out of the blue to tell me how fun married life is, and sent photos from their honeymoon.I just responded, **""if a spot opens up in the list of people I'll ever speak to again, I'll let you know.""**Was I too harsh?UPDATE: I do NOT mean to end the friendship, so that's why I am full of regret.",AITA for telling off a friend who lined me off her wedding list?,YTA
10vicb8,"I (26m) have always protected and stuck my neck out for my little sister (25F) but she has a toxic case of baby syndrome. There are 5 of us with the oldest being 35.The past 2 years she’s been reckless, irresponsible, immature, all of the above. Disrespectful. She’ll send 10 page letters cussing you out and then she’ll block you before you can reply. Basically reverted back into a teenager. 9 months ago she needed a place to stay to get her life back on track after a bad relationship, her credit is fucked, can’t rent, can’t lease, and I had an extra room so I let her stay. She manipulated me into moving out so that she can “do her own thing” “grow up” “become an adult” so I left. It put me in a bad financial spot but I did it for her. I told her as long as she was responsible. Kept up with the bills, we’d be good. No eviction. (She got a repossession on my credit some years back when I helped her with a car, as well as our brothers, so this was gonna be my straw) She agreed because she was planning on moving her best friend and girlfriend in so now 3 people splitting the bills, cool. I had nothin to worry about, the moneys there. She alone brings in 7k a month. Why should I worry?Come to find out rent was 3 months behind, she had changed all the contact info in the portal so I was getting no notification. Keep in mind this whole time we had been hanging out and seeing each other working on rebuilding our relationship. She had been looking me straight in the eyes lying to me, telling me things were paid. And I kept telling her “okay I trust you because you want everyone to treat you as an adult. “Lights cut off, just everything behind. She’d been getting the police called over there numerous times for domestic reasons. When the leasing office finally got ahold of me it was a mess. So now I’m trying to clean it all up. 7k is what I now owe. She has no intent on paying or helping. Especially since she just got herself fired because she thinks she too good to work (works underneath older sister so always had job security). So now she’s in cosmetology school. The apartment is damaged. Between the drama and the lies, she doesn’t think this is all that serious she even got arrested for the first time during one of those domestic calls. I picked her up driving in a snow storm, she yelled at me as soon as she came through the doors. I’m sick her.I don’t want me and my girlfriend getting stuck paying this we can’t afford it. So researched I can file a small claim case for property less than 20k. She scammed the military so she gets a 90% check, that I would love to have garnished since she just blows it on bs anyways. Im always cleaning her messes us, we all are.I want to show her that she can’t keep screwing people over and getting away with it. I want my money.So AITA, for suing my little sister?",AITA for suing my little sister?,NTA
10vo3f5,"My mom posted my baby shower invitation to her  500+ Facebook friends/the public saying, ""Who wants to come celebrate with us?!""  My hubby's close family friend offered to host us at her private home. We had already discussed a set guest list of 30 people. The invitation included the home address and personal cellphone number of the host. My MIL called me this AM freaking out about the family friend's privacy. I told her I would contact my mother immediately and I profusely apologized. I thought my mom would private message the guest list we had discussed.My mom responded by saying we were over-reacting. She said, ""OHHH MY GOD."" Then said she was in the middle of something and was too busy to take down the post immediately. I got upset and told her that since  FB is connected to her phone she could delete the post in less than 2 minutes and that I would redesign an announcement that she could share freely. She repeated she was busy and would do it by the end of the day.I understand the excitement, but I want to be really respectful of the host since she is being kind and saving us a lot of $ for this special celebration.AITA for getting upset and embarrassed by my mom's behavior?",AITA for telling my mom to take down FB post immediately,NTA
10vr7vr,"For context, I(14M) go to the gym around 6 days a week and have been going so for around 6-7 months now. Recently, a new girl from my highschool joined. I’m a freshman and she’s a junior and very popular and pretty. Couple days ago, she was doing deadlifts but her form was very bad and it could result in bad back injuries. I showed her proper form, she said thank you then I went on my way. Next day at school, people are whispering saying I was stalking her and being a creep, I assume she spread these rumors. I clear it up with most people but her friends all hate me now. Same day in the evening, I’m working out in a bench and she stands 2 ft in front of me and does squats. There is no squat rack or anything, she’s just squatting in front of me. Shes also recording a video for which I’m guessing is for her social media. I just cover my beanie over my face because I don’t want to be in the video and her ass is right in front my face i don’t want to be caught staring. Later, she said it was rude of me to cover my face. I didn’t want to take her shit anymore so I just went straight to management saying she’s been harassing me. Since she’s a minor, her parents were contacted and she has been banned from the gym and suspended from school for a week for spreading false rumors and posting videos about others Her friends have been dming me on all social media saying I’m an AH. So Reddit AITA?Edit: I saw a comment asking why they would want to do something like this. I’m not sure if this is the reason but last summer her younger sister (we will call her F) who is in the 8th grade now(middle school) asked me out. I politely rejected saying that I’m not looking to date right now and my parents wouldn’t allow it. F started crying and her sister picked her up and chewed me out. Turns out F was autistic but I didn’t know. Since then she has been extremely mean to me and my friends. Also my best friend used to date her best friend and they had a nasty break up so she hates my whole friend group",AITA for getting a girl banned from my gym,NTA
10vlw7o,"TL, DR: My childhood friend invited me to lunch and added another friend. When it was time to pay the check, she made excuses and tried to pin the bill on her other friend. I’d already paid my check, which was about ⅓ what she ordered because she also wanted to take food home. It was a $$ to $$$ restaurant. Her other friend refused to pay and I left very quickly. Now I’m getting lots of calls from her and telling me things that sound depressing.  English is my second language. ​I( f32) have a friend, Liah ( f32) who I've known since I was 12. We drifted apart because she doesn't support my career ambitions and had a tendency to pull me to the fun and leisure lifestyle and that came in conflict with my need to focus on my goals.  I'm on a very strict budget . I’m also planning on celebrating passing my qualification exam by not working for two months this summer until I get integrated into the job offer waiting for me. After 7 years apart, she invited me to lunch with another friend of hers. I finished my post graduate, created a startup, have accomplishments that I’m proud of and she isn’t interested. We can never talk about anything but her. She insisted, and I gave in because her husband just dumped her and I thought maybe I could make a difference at least for a few hours. Her other friend, Elizabeth (f32) arrived, and we started ordering food. Elizabeth is extremely wealthy. I’ve known her since we were teenagers. Her own friendship with Liah kind of died years ago but I’ve always suspected it’s because Liah doesn’t reciprocate. One hour into our lunch date, I noticed Elizabeth’s face changed when Liah started ordering like crazy. I really wanted one of those huge crabs (like the mugbangs), so I specifically ordered one to avoid past situations where Liah suddenly wants everyone to share their food.  Because Elizabeth’s demeanor was a red flag, I asked for a separate check to send the message that I'm not an opportunist. No one flinched so it was all good. I paid for my food via cash app and whatever else I ordered was from drinks and dessert. Liah starts dragging, she ate a lot and called her family that she was carrying a doggy bag. Ok cool. But then she did a “I forgot my wallet” skit which was especially infuriating. Elizabeth looked unimpressed and said “use your cash app then”. Liah then came up with a sob story, ran her ATM and it was declined.  Elizabeth called the waitress and asked for a detailed separation of the bill items, then paid for her own food while I was perplexed and fucking speechless. Elizabeth called Liah a leech.  I was so embarrassed I went out of the restaurant and called Uber. I feel horrible because I walked out and hid from her the whole time while waiting for my ride. I don’t know what happened next. I’m getting daily voice messages from Liah crying  and accusing me of lurching her. I know I did the right thing by choosing myself but I’m feeling down. Any advice on how to get past this?",AITA For Walking Out Of A Restaurant To Avoid Paying For My Friend's Food?,NTA
10vpfad,"Apologies for the long post ahead. For some context: I (F21) have been dating my bf (M21) Ryan for the past 7-8 months. He is a born american with south asian family and I was born in south asia; moved to the states when I was 12. My cousin Akash (M24) is visiting the town for a few days. He lives by himself in a different state and doesn't have the best relationship with his parents so we don't see him much nowadays. Growing up I was really close with this cousin and a few others who are basically siblings to me since we all lived in the same block back in our home country. My parents invited him over for dinner and I drove him to my new apartment after dinner to show him my new place and hangout with two other cousins. My bf has met my other cousins but not him so he asked if he could join us and hangout and I said for sure. Akash and I were just catching up while everyone was on their way. During the conversation a lot of our childhood stories came up and I got sentimental. We were also bonding over some of the childhood trauma we experienced and how it affected us. I started sobbing as I was telling him how much I missed our group and I'm so happy we are all gonna be together after a long time. He consoled me and patted my head saying how proud he is of me that his little sister is now such a responsible grownup and stuff. My bf walked into the living room at that moment and saw me leaning my head on his shoulder and crying. He blurted out ""ayo what in the alabama shit is going on"" and started laughing hysterically. My face turned red in embarrassment and I could barely mumble ""what"". Akash stood up and firmly said ""excuse me? do we have a problem here?"" and asked me if this is my bf. Then I asked bf what's wrong with you? who starts a conversation like that? He got even more defensive and said ""dont desi people marry their cousins all the time? It's funny bc it's true."" Well I didn't find it funny and was enraging with embarrassment so I asked him to leave immediately before others get here. He tried to argue and say hi to Akash but I didn't leave any space for explanation and held the door open until he got out. I turned my phone off when he started blasting my phone with texts demanding to speak. My other cousins arrived shortly and we all had a great time catching up. When I woke up in the morning and turned my phone on I saw tons of missed calls and texts from my bf. He even posted some passive aggressive stuff on social media without mentioning my name. He said how I overreacted to a very simple joke and turned him into the bad guy and I said if your first thought is to make such a cheap disgusting joke in front of someone who you literally saw for the first time then you really need to work on your humor and hung up. I'm still very upset and embarrassed and asked Akash to not tell anyone about it yet. Was I TA here?",AITA for kicking my bf out after he made a joke which I found very inappropriate and disgusting?,NTA
10vikdv,"This is a throw away for reasons I (36m) my fiancé who we will call Alex (f36) and her daughter jules (13) all live together Alex’s ex husband was abusive. I kind off helped get them out of it but it was mostly Alex I’m not going to go into detail for reasons but anyway on to the story I was walking into the kitchen as Jules was making a sandwich she reached for a plate and didn’t grab it properly so it fell and shattered. No biggy I thought we have loads of plates but jules started to cry saying she was sorry over and over again and hyperventilating. I told her it’s alright and we can clean it up she ran into the living room and tripped she curled up into a ball and started to have a breakdown she kept repeating “don’t hurt me I’m sorry I didn’t mean too” I approached her like a scared animal because I didn’t know what else to do, I hugged her tightly and told her I wasn’t going to hurt and it was all right I got her calmed down and I decided to stay with her until her mom got home so we watched encanto together. I’m a part time farmer and I had to do the evening milking but didn’t want to leave her so I texted a friend and asked if he could. He said he could do it, I texted my dad and told him I couldn’t milk due to family emergency but it would be sorted When Alex got home I explained what happend and let the 2 of them talk. I went and checked the farm everything was fine friend didn’t have any problems. My mother asked me what was up and I told her to let it be (she’s not the best at keeping things secret) she blew up saying I was probably too busy “shagging Alex” and I’m a terrible son/farmer I don’t think I was an asshole for not telling her but I feel as though some outside input would help so AITA?Edit: Jules has never had a breakdown before but according to Alex when jules was younger she was at home with her bio dad and her favourite show was on she went and got a glass of water but ran back to the living room to not miss it she tripped and the glass broke her dad came in started yelling at her and threw stuff at her she was 5 at the time when Alex came home her ex was away to the pub and she found jules crying under her bed hugging her rabbit teddy so I’m thinking it might be repressed trauma she’s in therapy and Alex and jules are going for an emergency session tomorrow morning I’ve known jules for 2 years now and this is the first breakdown she’s had Her bio dad is prison now and is not allowed to request that either of them visit him",AITA for not telling my mom about my fiancé’s daughters mental breakdown,NTA
10vp6d9,"My wifes parents are M68 and F65, and have lost everything due to a failed business they took loans against their house on.      They had to declare bankruptcy, and are too old to work, so currently they rent a small place. They pay for this place using the pension cheques from the government (basically nothing and just covers rent), along with an even split of money from me and my wife, and her three brothers to cover basic needs like food.      My wife and I have done very well for ourselves and live in a house we own, go on vacations every year with our kids, and don’t really have any financial issue. Meanwhile her three younger brothers make much less than us, some aren’t married, and all rent a place.      Recently they have come together and said that they shouldn’t have to pay since we are much better off than them, and we should instead take my in-laws into our home so they don’t have to contribute anymore and their government pension will cover the basic needs.      I immediately said no, and they are all upset at me. My wife told me I should think it over (she is the eldest sibling by 8 years so I think she feel’s responsibility). However I said not gonna happen ever, and she said I am acting rude to them.      I don’t mind them visiting for a weekend and sleeping over, but there is obviously a huge pandora box of problems waiting if I let them in permanently. I just want to know if I am justified in thinking this way (seems obvious but everyone is telling me I’m wrong) or if there is a better way to communicate this to them.",AITA for refusing to let my in-laws live with me?,NTA
10vhptw,"I’m a single dad with 3 kids full time (13f 12f & 9m) I have a 3 bedroom house and tried to make the sleeping arrangements as fair as possible. I took the smallest room as its just me and all i need is a bed and a cupboard, there is basically enough room around my bed to walk. My son gets the one that's a bit bigger but my girls share the room that is at least 2 times the size of mine. 
A while ago my eldest started seeing a psychologist because she was having a really rough time at school and it was causing a few issues elsewhere in her life.
Since then she's moved schools been working through some stuff with her psychologist and is doing a lot better. So now she's focusing more on her home life. 
I don't go and sit in with all of her sessions but I do go in occasionally. Last week was one of them. She's been complaining about not having her own space and her sister annoying her. 
The psychs solution was that she gets my room and I share with my 12 year old. I certainly didn't commit to that but just let them talk it through. 
Get home and my 13yo starts packing up her stuff, sister asks what she's doing and she explains that her and I are swapping rooms. Needless to say the 12yo gets a bit pissed at that. 
I tell my eldest that we won't be swapping rooms and I won't be sharing a room with one of the kids. 
She now is claiming I'm the AH (not in those words) because I “promised” we would in the session with her psych, and I clearly don't care about her. 
I tried to talk about moving her into her brothers room and the 9yo and 12yo could share. But that was met by a lot of anger from the 12 yo who was very against sharing with her brother. Plus different bed times and all that get harder to work with. 
I can't easily move as selling this place and getting a loan for a new place wouldn't be easy on a single income, I bought this place when their mum was still around so had two incomes.
So am I the AH for not sharing a room with my 12 year old so my eldest could get her own room.",AITA for not letting my daughter swap bedrooms.,NTA
10vhwmx,"I (37F) have a close friend (39F) who needs therapy. She asked if I could send her my therapist’s information (I have a good therapist) and I feel extremely uncomfortable about her seeing my therapist. Is this normal to feel weird about this? AITA? TL;DR: close friend asked to see my therapist for help and it makes me uncomfortableEdit to add: I’m not uncomfortable because I think they’ll talk about me, I know that’s illegal and I know he wouldn’t disclose my information to another client of his.Second edit: I’ve never discussed this friend with my therapist and wouldn’t have a reason to do so, it isn’t a fear of my personal information being disclosed, etc",WIBTA if I asked my best friend to not see my therapist and pick another?,NTA
10vq88t,"Me and my ex girlfriend Kayla have two children S (8m) and D (15f). We broke up 6 years ago and we have 50/50 custody and I pay her child support. I make 50k per year and she gets about 1k per month. She has never worked, even before we had the kids. Me and my girlfriend Serenity have been together for 4 years and both my kids love her! She's so sweet, incredibly smart and so hardworking. She has her own business and makes 100k a year. Kayla, Serenity and I all grew up extremely poor and I got my new job 5 years ago so I can better provide for my kids and I know the struggle.The problem is, we have a completely different lifestyle in our home than Kaylas home. We live a typical middle class lifestyle and Kayla lives how we used to live on government assistance, in a bad neighborhood and uses public transportation. Serenity saved for 6 months to buy a luxury Lexus SUV. She's always wanted one and we shared my car while she was saving. She posted a video of the car on Instagram and the keys.My daughter sent Kayla the post and she went off. She called me and told me how dare my girlfriend ride around comfortably while my children are living in the hood. She said my daughter cries sometimes when she gets back home because Serenity has luxury bags and clothes and makeup but I don't buy that stuff for her. I told her I can't afford that stuff because I'm too busy putting the money in her college fund and that unlike her, I don't just get handed money. She says I need to get a better job so I can pay more child support. I told her absolutely not. She called my mother and my mother said I need to get a better job and do what's best for the kids. I can get a better paying job and work for Serenity, but I refuse to do so just so Kayla can have more of my money that I work hard for. I know my kids don't have the best lifestyle at their moms but if it's such an issue with Kayla she should get a damn job like I did. She then went on Facebook and made a post about how my girlfriend drives around in a luxury vehicle but my daughter take the bus to school. Everyone commented that I am a POS and I need a better job.AITA for refusing to get a better job to pay more child support?",AITA for not getting a better job so I can pay more child support?,NTA
10vtigm,"For context : My Daughter is five years old and my niece is as well ( I’ll call my niece Lucy in this situation) . Lucy has consistently placed her hands on my daughter numerous amounts of times such as ; hitting , pinching , hair pulling , and even biting . Here lately Lucy has expressed a new interest in cussing and she will often use swears at my daughter (not just one or two but full on sentences of cussing my daughter out because she doesn’t do what Lucy wants) . I have talked to my mother in law various amounts of times and she always makes excuses for her saying she is only 5 . I talked to Lucy’s mom as well and nothing has been done to fix the situation . Lucy is never disciplined or explained to why the use of her words and actions are wrong , it’s always brushed off and they expect my daughter to just take it and ignore it because their cousins . My daughter came crying to me about this consistent abuse and treatment from her cousin and how she feels uncomfortable having Lucy at her party and around her friends , due to the nature of how Lucy is . Lucy’s mom took great offense to her daughter not being invited and said all sorts of hateful things and even targeted me for being malicious towards a five year old because I didn’t want her at my daughters party.  AITA ?",AITA for not inviting my niece to my daughters birthday party?,NTA
10vi7sd,"So my (18M) parents (59F & 56M) got divorced in 2017 after my dad cheated on mom for some years.My mom was going through a really bad time in 2014 because my grandma (mom's mom) was dying of cancer, and found out during that time that my dad was having an affair. They tried working things out and eventually got divorced in 2017.Well 6 months later my dad got married to the woman he was having an affair with, and since he cheated on mom with her and broke our family, me and my sister (24F) didn't want to even meet her and deal with her in any circumstance. However my dad has been very insisting that we go meet her and have some sort of relationship with his wife. He says that he is our father and that we should listen to what he says, and keeps saying that we would rather do what our mom wants rather than what HE wants, and so on and how we would meet his wife if we really loved him.So AITA ?",AITA for not wanting to deal with my dad's wife ?,NTA
10vh24k," \[NSFW because boobs and cancer are mentioned\]I'll  try to keep this as short as possible. Myself and one of my closest  friends are attending a wedding in 3 weeks time. It's been in planning  since before Covid, and we wanted to make sure everybody could come  together which is why it's been postponed as long as it has. I'm going  as a guest, but my friend is one of 5 head bridesmaids. The dresses were  picked out specially and have already arrived. It's pertinent to note  that these are strapless dresses (you know, the ones held up primarily  by your boobs) and every one is fine with that. Except for my friend.2  months ago she received a diagnosis of cancer and had an emergency  double mastectomy and has been going through chemo since. She has always  been a wig wearer anyway so if you hadn't been told you wouldn't know  she had cancer and was going through treatment. Because of the wedding  and also because of her own personal feelings this isn't widely known  information, and she didn't want to inform the bride and groom because  she, in her words not mine, ""\[doesn't\] want to take attention away from  the happy couple on their big day by being the token sick one"". My views  on her telling other people about this is irrelevant, it's her body,  her condition, and ultimately it is her information to tell and I am not  in a position to disclose something so sensitive.Now  here comes the clincher... since the mastectomy once the wounds had  healed over, she bought basically a big padded bra that gives the  impression of having breasts. It's convincing, fairly neutral colour,  but with a strapless dress the top of the bra would be very obvious, and  were she not to wear the pads the dress wouldn't... yknow... have  anything to hold on to. So a bit of a double dilemma. This is where I  come in - I work with fabric a fair amount for my job and can roughly  mimic the embroidery on the dress into two small but functional straps  that would hide the arm holes of the padded bra and stay in line with  the style of the dress. I was the one who recommended this, as my friend  is adamant she doesn't want to ruin the mood of the wedding by telling  people her situation. Neither of us can decide if we should or not -  WIBTA if I sewed straps onto the dress to allow her time to reveal the  diagnosis in her own time? Or would it cause more questions and upset  the bride that I've altered the dress?",WIBTA if I sewed straps onto my friend's bridesmaid dress?,NAH
10vj60b,"Okay, so my parents are originally from Mexico and my Dad in particular grew up in rural poverty. He's really had to work for everything he has. Growing up, he was always very insistent that if an item is in the kitchen, then it's for anyone to eat, especially him. This has caused several issues with making food for company and family, because even when a note is placed on a cake or food item that is meant to be eaten later, and for multiple people he will not care and eat it. And he will eat more than his fair share of it. Even if he's already eaten dinner, let's say, and you come over late with take-out to quickly eat, he will glare at you because he's expecting something extra from you. It seriously bothers him to watch others eat except him. It's a psychological thing brought on by poverty, I'm sure of it.So my husband and I go to a bakery for some coffee. We note they have some nice bread for breakfast. So we get a croissant and anpan roll. I tell my husband if he wants to eat his whole croissant, then buy my Dad another one to make sure he has one, or hide the one he bought for himself. I know my Mom is going to make my Dad a big breakfast. But it doesn't matter. If it's in the kitchen it's fair game, even if we label it. My husband said I was exaggerating and that he didn't need to hide his food or get another croissant just for him. Sure enough, come morning time, the croissant is already half eaten and I can see the look of utter annoyance on my husband's face. My Dad is laughing like hey, it's in the kitchen, whatever is out is mine. I told my Dad he's rude, it's not an endearing quality about him, and that I was absolutely right food should either be hidden from him or another one should be purchased even though his huge breakfast was ready for him and we can't have something without him having it as well. My Mom said I was being an AH to my Dad and that I should just always buy extra for my Dad. It just made me mad he's the only one who does this and we always have to tiptoe around him with food.",AITA for telling my husband to either hide food from my Dad or make sure to buy him an item?,NTA
10vukad,"I have 2 daughters in college, Olivia (20) and Sophia (18). Sophia has a learning disability and the school's disability center gave her a smart pen that records the lectures while she writes notes, so that if she misses anything she can go back and listen. The pen is only compatible with a very specific, very expensive (for a notebook) notebook. When Sophia got the pen, she let us play with it. We recorded ourselves talking or singing while writing or drawing. Olivia chose to write a few curse words and record herself saying them. Sophia told her not to do it again and took the pen and notebook to her room. Well, she got sick a couple weeks after and had to miss a class. Olivia is in the same class so Sophia gave Olivia the pen and notebook and told her to record the class so she could listen to it later. Olivia chose not to record the class. She decided it would be funny to write curse words/curse Sophia out on the first line of every page and record herself saying/singing the words. Sophia is very embarrassed and refuses to use the notebook. She was able to get the disability center to wipe the recordings from the pen but they refused to replace the notebook because it was still usable.When Sophia told me what happened and that the disability center wouldn't give her a new book, I gave Olivia an ultimatum. Either she buys Sophia a new book or I take her car (registered in my name and under my insurance policy) and she'll have to walk to the bus stop 2 miles away and take the bus to school (which their friends say takes an hour, compared to the 15 minute drive). We got on Amazon and the only thing we found that was compatible with Sophia's pen was a set of 4 books for $40. Olivia said she's not going to pay that much but I told her it was either that or the bus so she bought the books. Olivia thinks I'm being unfair and my husband is starting to agree with her but I think it's Olivia's responsibility to replace the book and if the only thing that's available is a 4 pack for $40, well that sucks and hopefully she won't do it again. AITA for making her buy $40 worth of notebooks after she defaced her sister's?",AITA for making my daughter buy $40 worth of notebooks for her younger sister?,NTA
10vjyj3,"I (34m) am blind in one eye and wear an eye patch. Weeks ago an older woman at a bar flagged me down while I was sitting with my friends, and asked:""What happened to your eye, honey?""""I don't think it's appropriate to ask strangers that sort of thing."" *turns back toward the stage**from behind me* ""That didn't really answer my question...""*turns to reply* ""It wasn't meant to."" *turns back*My friend was absolutely livid at the nerve of this person, and I was none too pleased myself, but I calmed him down so we could try to move on with the evening. A short while later, a slightly younger woman with her (I'm pretty sure at this point this is her daughter who confronted me):""You didn't have to be a smartass!""*my friends immediately piping up and rising from their seats while I stay them with a hand* ""I think I responded very appropriately to the situation.""""No, you were a smartass."" And keeps on blustering. One of my friends gets up and I think he's going to get in her face, so I shout him down to his seat for his own good, but he just needed some air because he was so worked up, so I apologize and let him go. To get away from the situation I excused myself from the rest of my friends and got another drink. Apparently my friend spoke to the manager on duty, and he spoke to the offending party, and I was told they wouldn't bother me anymore. I did tell him that I found that unsatisfactory (personally I think they should have been asked to leave), but that I understood that they didn't want to create a scene. The woman who initially asked tried (kindly, to her merit) to explain later that she'd had surgery on her eyes or something in the past and was just curious. I told her I understood, but that I wasn't there to talk about that. She also kept reaching like she wanted to put a reassuring hand on my shoulder, but I put up my hands and said that I must ask her not to touch me. That was the last of it, and the entire situation left me feeling pretty shitty and uncomfortable.This past Friday I'm at the same bar, same friends, same karaoke night. We'd had a good night thus far, when I feel someone put an arm across my shoulders from my blind side. I turned to see an older woman I did not recognize, and over the speaker 5 feet behind her I caught something to the effect of: ""I don't mean to offend you... my mother is 65 years old... why do you wear the patch?""""First of all, please don't put your hands on me. Secondly, I don't like discussing it with strangers, now please be on your way.""*instantly flips* ""You're a rude motherfucker! Fuck you! Fuck you!""I wave her away and she finally returns to her table, still fuming, and I eventually figure out it must be another daughter of the same woman. I spoke to the owner to make him aware, in case things escalated. My friends were very supportive, but it still sucks.AITA? I have other examples of this sort of thing too.",AITA for not wanting to discuss my disability with random strangers in public?,NTA
10vvpnu,"I live in a small area and I walk to the gym ever 5:30am in the morning. However, both of my neighbors has their dogs outside their housed (covered by fence).When I step outside my house, those dogs starts barking like crazy even though I never look at them directly. I guess they might be guard dogs? Recently, my neighbor with the dogs started complaining to me that I am disrupting their sleep and making their dogs aggressive every early morning, but I told them I need to go the gym at that time and that its not my fault that the dogs are barking like crazy. Its not like I am walking over to those dogs; I just walk straight to the direction of the gym.AITA?",AITA for waking up neighbors every morning at 5:30?,NTA
10vtkh1,"My brother Geoffrey did not have a positive high school experience. Geoffrey didn’t have any close friends and it was a lonely time for him. He doesn’t have contact with anyone from high school. Geoffrey thinks that if a person has contact with anyone from their high school (even past teachers,) it means they peaked in high school. He constantly makes assumptions about people (often strangers) based on his own high school experiences. The comments he makes are mean-spirited and uncalled for.An example is how we were visiting a relative who lives next to a park and there was a random teenager using the fitness equipment. Without any prompting, Geoffrey loudly said “Better live up those quarterback days now. You’ll be working at a gas station after graduation.” Whenever we go out, Geoffrey makes rude comments about the employees and assumptions about their time in high school. We recently had a very sweet waitress at a restaurant, and Geoffrey felt the need to say “Bet she was prom queen once, now she’s fat. Probably raising five kids alone.” As I said, his comments are just mean and uncalled for.Recently, we were at my parents’ house for their anniversary. My daughter Emma was in the living room doing an online dance challenge. Geoffrey made a comment about how Emma should have “grown out of” doing online dance challenges and “be careful, she’ll wind up being her school’s version of Kathy” who was a girl that I and Geoffrey knew in high school. Kathy was always nice to Geoffrey. Geoffrey had gotten angry and refused to talk to her after she went to prom with another boy instead of him.I reminded Geoffrey that Emma’s thirteen and to just leave them be. Geoffrey again told me to “be careful” or else “she’ll end up being that fat single mom who always talks about her cheerleader days.” In the past, I have just told Geoffrey not to be rude, but roping my daughter into his comments was when I had enough.I pulled Geoffrey aside to a more private area and told him that he needs to get over high school. I know it wasn’t a great time for you and I’m sorry. But you need to stop taking that out on other people. Start seeing a therapist again and do whatever you need to move on. Otherwise, you’re going to end up alone if you keep lashing out at others this way.Geoffrey told the rest of the family about what I said. I shared my side of the story but several others told me that Geoffrey was “just concerned” for his niece’s future after graduation and telling him to “get over high school” dismissed/invalidated his experience. And not having close friends during developmental years can affect someone for their whole life.Geoffrey’s experiences are valid, which is why I told him about returning to therapy so he can work on properly dealing with them. And Geoffrey’s experiences do not give him the right to make such mean-spirited comments about others. It was a harsh reality check but one that I believe Geoffrey needed before he ruins any more relationships. AITA?",AITA For pulling my brother aside and giving him a reality check that he needs to get over high school or else he will end up alone?,NTA
10vo2fu,"I 25F am the only one providing in our house. My partner 30M is not working atm. (Not due to medical issues) . We are far from being well off. We are late for rent every month since he lost his last job and live paycheck to paycheck on my 2k a month income. However he insists I get every grocery item he wants. Now if we had dual income like we should I would, however like I said we don't have money like that. He insists I get every thing he asks for cause he is the one that cooks. I keep trying to explain that I'm struggling and if he doesn't want to get a job he needs to stop demanding so much from me as I'm doing the best I possibly can. He says I'm selfish and a (b word) for not getting what he ""needs"" to cook. Am I the asshole for not getting all the groceries he requests?",AITA for not getting all the groceries my partner asks for?,NTA
10vshtn,"I (24f) and my husband (26m) got married in January 2022. He gets along great with my family. I am the oldest of four girls. I got along well with his family. He has an older brother and a little sister.His little sister (19) got engaged a few weeks ago. Last night, she asked me to be one of her bridesmaids, and I turned her down. She thought I was joking, but I had to explain to her that after how she acted at (and kind of ruined) my wedding, I wouldn't be able to be a bridesmaid for her. She became visibly upset but I told her that she needed to find someone else.Here's some long story short backstory:We decided to get married in his hometown of Boston instead of where I'm from in Seattle. Our families had never met before.When she met my family, she was immediately extremely rude to my family. She spoke to her parents in Spanish (their native language) not realizing that my father is from Venezuela and taught all of his children Spanish. She complained in a nasty voice about how my family was underdressed for a family dinner (they all had just gotten off a very long plane ride and came straight from dropping their luggage off at my house), how my little sister's baby wouldn't stop crying, etc. My father tried to speak to her in Spanish and she gave him a nasty glare and said she was going to wait in the car.She was rude and belittling to me and my family the entire week they were there visiting for the wedding.She refused to even acknowledge my family the entire time they were with us and my husband found it so obnoxious he refused to see her while my family was here, making her upset. She was one of my bridesmaids but she made everyone else feel extremely uncomfortable. She refused to come to my bridesmaids events (only came when the groomsmen came too), left 20 minutes into my bachelorette party to go to a club without saying goodbye, was very mean to my other bridesmaids and sisters, and didn't even want to get ready with the bridesmaids morning of the wedding. She called my mother (who doesn't speak Spanish) nasty names in Spanish to her face, and she had AirPods in 24/7 and actively ignored everyone who talked to her.My whole family left after the wedding and she hadn't spoken more than one sentence to my family. I called her out and she broke down explaining how she felt like my family had stolen my husband from her family and was jealous. I told her that was no excuse to treat my family the way she did. (I have a list of every little thing she did on my phone that was rude the whole week.... the list is 134 times long and we barely saw her.) I told her I appreciate her apology. She took that as being forgiven and treats me like a friend now.Fast forward back to now and she's really upset I refused to be one of her bridesmaids. My husband agrees with my stance and reiterated to her why I refused. She claims now that I am being mean.AITA for holding onto my feelings from my wedding and projecting them onto her wedding?",AITA for refusing to be one of my sister in law's bridesmaids?,NTA
10vrxnl,"Hey Reddit, I'm hoping to get some outside perspective on a situation that happened at a family gathering with my 10-year-old son, who's adopted, and my husband and his family.So, I'm a proud mother of a 10-year-old boy who is very smart and mature for his age. He's always been aware of his adoption as my husband and I have never hidden it from him, but we've also never made a big deal out of it either. He's just a regular kid and we love him just as much as we would any biological child.Yesterday, we were all at my husband's parents' house for a family gathering. The situation started when my 4 year old niece innocently asked why my son's skin was a different color than everyone else's, not knowing about his adoption. Before I could even respond, one of the grandparents said, ""That's because he's from a different planet!"". Fortunately, no one laughed. However, my son turned red and looked down, seemingly upset and embarrassed, and didn't say anything.I immediately stood up for my son and told the grandparents that they were being disrespectful, but they just laughed it off and continued making jokes about his adoption to my son's cousins. My husband also stood up for our son and told them to stop, but the grandparents just ignored us and said we were being sensitive.The situation just escalated and it became clear that the grandparents had no intention of stopping. I didn't want my son to feel any more uncomfortable or embarrassed. This was not the first time that his step-grandparents had made these kinds of jokes about him. It was becoming a regular occurrence at family gatherings, and my son was getting increasingly upset each time. I felt like I needed to step in and put a stop to it, so I decided to take him and leave the gathering.My son was quiet on the way home, but when I asked him how he was feeling, he simply replied, ""I'm adopted."" This broke my heart and I could tell he was hurt by the whole situation, and I feel terrible that I hadn’t done anything until yesterday.I'm now considering never meeting the grandparents again because, as I said before, this has happened more than once, and I don't want my son to continue to be the target of their jokes.My husband was not happy with my decision to leave and thought it was going too far. He complained that I was overreacting and that I should have stayed and dealt with his parents. He told me that it was his family and that I needed to be more understanding.Was I the asshole?UPDATE!: I just had a heart-to-heart conversation with my son and I'm left completely shocked by his confession. Apparently, they say even worse things (I will not give details) when my husband and I are not around and my son had never said anything because he didn't want to cause problems and upset anyone. I am absolutely appalled by what I have learned and after our discussion I have made the decision to NEVER visit my husband's parents again, as I will not subject my son to any further emotional harm. This is straight up abuse and I am even considering suing them. I will definitely have a talk with my husband.",AITA for standing up for my son and causing a scene at the family gathering?,NTA
10vr330,"My (43F) husband (41M) and I are in the thick of it with three kids (6, 4, 6mo), 2 dogs (that I wanted), and an assortment of lizards, snakes, fish, etc that are his pets.When he agreed we could get a dog it was with the caveat that I would pick up after the dog(s). Which I have done for the 3+ years we have had them (even when 9 months pregnant in the summer).Tonight, I came home from an urgent care appointment for myself around the time when my kids would normally all be going to bed. I needed to nurse the baby and put him down, and help my husband put the 6 and 4 down as well (because he skips things like teeth brushing, books, and pajamas if I don't).I'm obviously not feeling well (sinus infection), and walked in to find that one of the dogs clearly had a stomach issue sometime during the day. There was poop on the floor of the nursery and on the floor of the room the big kids share.The baby was crying because he was hungry. Bedtime needed to be started. The kids cannot go to sleep in rooms with poop in them.His solution was to just have everyone sleep in our room until I could get to the poop cleanup, because he absolutely was not doing it.I pretty much begged, saying that I'm sick and I need to feed the baby and that's something he can't do, and can't he just help me out this once?He refused, saying it makes him sick, and he didn't want the dogs in the first place because he was done cleaning up after pets.I ended up putting the baby down and letting him fuss while I picked up poop, flushed it, and wiped the carpets in a cursory clean-up before nursing the baby and putting everyone to bed an hour later than normal.Was I wrong to ask for help even though he did explicitly say he wasn't cleaning up after the dogs? Or is this something a good partner would have done without throwing some 3 year old agreement in my face when our lives have changed significantly (a third baby) since it was made?EDITING TO ADD: I love my dogs. I work from home and take care of them all day, letting them in and out, giving good boy/girl treats, going for walks, picking up after them, getting them to their annual appointments, grooming appointments, dosing heartworm and flea medicine timely, and giving them pets/snuggles quite regularly. ",AITA for asking my husband to pick up dog poop even though he didn't want dogs,NTA
10vq5jp,"So for some background I (about to turn 18 nonbinary) don't currently live with either of my parents. However I am supposed to be at my mom's house every other weekend. To explain a bit, one of my moms exes (X) reported to CPS that my mom and her boyfriend (MB) were violating his parole again. MB isn't supposed to be around kids due to an incident that happened years ago. From what I know he was in a bar and took a girl home that he didn't realize was underage. My mom and him have been caught not following his no kids allowed rule before. However he didn't get in trouble beyond a slap on the wrist.On to the current issue. Just before Christmas I was told that my mom had lost all custody of my sibling and me temporarily due to an issue with MB. At the time I thought that more drama was just being stirred up by X as he had pulled shit before on my Mom like calling the cops when it was her weekend and random CPS calls, tho those stopped a while ago.C (my guardian) and my Dad weren't allowed to tell me much. But they could tell me that the report had something to do with MB. I was confused because my mom had gone and taken the classes and such to become a community support person for MB after the last incident. So Just a misunderstanding right?Wrong. I got to see the list of rules my mom signed when she became a community support person. They had broken at least half of them. Which ones I won't get I to cause word limit. So, when the social worker came to my school to talk to me, I didn't lie. In fact I gave more information then she asked.Well, what I told the social worker was brought up in the emergency hearing. It is safe to say my mom is pissed. Other than today, I haven't talked to her since Christmas Eve. When she was allowed to come to my dad to see me and my siblings for Christmas.I reached out to her today though. Part of it was to get her to transfer my money from the savings account she opened for me into my debit account so I can start managing my own money. But I also asked if we could find a time for me and her to talk. She said we could, but it'd be hard. She's doing a bunch of interviews for a second job, and doesn't have much free time.I feel like I might be an asshole cause from what I know a large part of her need for a second job is because of MB going back to jail so there's only her income. The social worker never asked about him breaking rules. I'm the one that brought it up. (My dad had shown me the rule sheet when I'd been at his house.So, AITA for telling the social worker the whole truth and causing my stepdad to go back to jail, resulting in my mom struggling with money?TLDR: My moms boyfriend isn't supposed to be around kids, and when CPS found out and questioned me on it, I told the truth and gave more information. Resulting in him going to jail and my mom to struggle with money.","AITA for giving CPS information that got my stepdad put in jail, causing my mom to struggle financially?",NTA
10vtnsw,"Our hot water line started leaking late Friday night. I (29F) worked all weekend. My husband was home with our 2 year old while I was working. He worked on calling companies to come out and quote us to fix everything. Two companies showed up today, one quoted an 8K fix and could do it the next day, the other was 4K but can't get to it until Friday. The location of the leak was in a joint of the outgoing hot water pipe off of the water heater. The two heaters we have, aren't actually broken but are 15 years old and showing signs of wear and tear. My husband wants to replace everything so we decided we will be getting a tankless water heater. This entire time, I felt like all we needed to do was fix the outgoing pipe but was fine replacing everything so no further issues down the line.Today, 3rd day without hot water, I asked again if we could at least just fix the pipe so we could have hot water while waiting for Friday. My husband flipped. He said I was being privileged, entitled and impatient and how ridiculous I am that I can't wait until Friday. I was sick of it so I drove to home depot, asked a worker, got the proper parts and repaired the pipe in less than an hour including my time at home depot. Everything if functioning well, no leaks and lovely hot water flowing. I even put a water alarm next to the water heaters just in case.For context, within the last month, our basement flooded due to a storm, had a solar issue, had an outdoor gas leak, we have a 3k repair for his truck needed and will have to pay 5k in taxes. We have a ton of unexpected expenses all happening at once. I know he is stressed and feeling inadequate but he is so mad that I fixed that dang pipe myself. Am I in the wrong? Am I privileged for simply wanting some hot water?",AITA for fixing our hot water leak myself?,NTA
10vtfmg,"My (25m) fiancé (24f) are new parents to our baby boy as of 7 months ago. The pregnancy was unplanned but we were happy to keep the baby as I make good money in a stable career as an engineer. Everything has been going wonderfully so far, besides of course the normal new parent/baby difficulties, until this week when my fiancé told me it would be best if I got rid of my current car and bought a new SUV (she means NEW from the dealership, she doesn't believe in used cars for whatever reason). Her reasoning is that is unsafe to put a baby car seat in a 2 door car, despite the fact that the baby has only been in my car twice, riding in my fiancés suv the vast majority of the time.I told her that I didn’t think it was unsafe but that I’d do some research and that if it is that we could explore solutions. I looked into it that night, and according to every source I could find it seems that it is perfectly safe to have a car seat in the back seats of a 2 door car as long as it fits properly (which our car seats does). I told her that there was no need to worry as it should be perfectly safe. She interrupted and demanded that I should just grow up and make the right decision. She said that as a father my priority should be my son and not my “sports car”, to which I responded that he is my priority but that these things don’t conflict. She won’t budge.I explained to her that a new base level SUV costs about double what I could sell my car for (her car was gifted to her by her parents and is worth about three times what mine is). I snapped and accused her of using our son as an excuse to force me to get rid of my car. I’ll spare the worst details but safe to say she was the most angry I have ever seen her. I apologized for for accusing her but added that she was being irrational and had no logical basis for why I couldn’t keep the car. This did not help and no she has gone to sleep without speaking to me for the past few hours. Am I the asshole?For more context: I drive a 2012 BMW 335i that I bought when I was 22, a few months after landing my first engineering gig after college. I wouldn’t say it’s a sports car exactly, its sporty, but it’s not particularly fast or small and is about as practical as a two door car can get. I ADORE this car, I do almost all of the maintenance myself along with some minor mods I did to make the car exactly how I wanted. The only wrenching I have done on this car since he was born was changing the oil which she threw a fit over because I was “avoiding my parenting duties” and just could not seem to understand that changing the oil is EXTREMELY CRUCIAL to keeping it running as reliably as possible.My fiancé has always hated my car. She would make comments about it being a “toy” and complain about how small it is, also saying that it makes me look like a douchebag. She always got upset when I would take a few hours out of my weekend to install a new part or to fix or replace something. AITA?",AITA for not selling my car as my fiance demands?,NTA
10vkkls,"my parents divorced when i (27F) was younger and ever since there’s been a huge divide between my family. my mom (44F) remarried a year later but my dad (45M) never remarried. he’s had a few girlfriends but nothing too serious. last year he introduced us to his latest girlfriend, we’ll call her Bessy (42F). my mom wasn’t a fan of bessy for unknown reasons so whenever there was an event that my dad was needed for (birthdays, graduations etc) she’d specifically ask that bessy wasn’t there. my dad respected this and never brought her to save having arguments. a couple weeks ago, my sister (22F) announced that she was 2 months pregnant and that her baby shower would be in a couple weeks from then. my sister has gotten along with bessy ever since she met her and there’d never really been any arguments between her and my mom or my dad so she invited all 3 parties and my moms new husband. everything was fine at the baby shower until the gender was revealed. my sister was going to have a baby boy. we were all over the moon for her because we all knew how much she wanted a son. bessy then said she had to get something out of the car and whilst she was gone my mom exploded at my dad. she kept asking why he brought that woman to an event that has nothing to do with her and only referred to bessy as “that woman” or worse names. i told my mom that today was my sisters day and it didn’t matter who was there as long as my sister wanted them to be there. my mom then started crying and was saying that i was siding with bessy even though i’d only known her for around a year and that it wasn’t fair. i then told her that life wasn’t fair and that she was spoiling my sisters baby shower. bessy came back and she was carrying a cake with her (bessy is a baker so it wasn’t surprising that she’d brought one). we all tried to ignore my moms outburst but she was still crying so bessy asked her what was wrong. my sister was in the other room with her fiancée cutting the cake so my mom took it as another opportunity to shout. she said bessy had ruined the day by being there and that she was unable to enjoy herself whilst bessy was there. bessy tried to defend herself but my mom wouldn’t let her talk. my sister came back in with the cake and before we could react, my mom took the cake out of her hands and threw it at bessy. i told my mom she was out of order and that she had gone too far and bessy didn’t deserve that because she wasn’t doing anything but being nice all day. my mom and her husband then left as well as my dad and bessy whilst i helped my sister clean up the mess. when i got home i had multiple missed calls and messages from my mom and her husband telling me that i was being a bad daughter because i was sticking up for somebody who wasn’t even in the family. she said that id betrayed her and that she didn’t want me to be her daughter anymore. i don’t think i’ve done anything wrong but she seems really upset and her husband isn’t helping to calm her down so AITA?",AITA for siding with my dads new girlfriend over my mom,NTA
10vi0gz,"I (28f) was eating lunch with my friend Valerie (28F) at a restaurant on the outdoor patio. Valerie is a big fan of The Bad Guys movie and has a crush on Mr Wolf, and ships her persona with him. During our meal, she was complaining about how fans of The Bad Guys think Mr Wolf and Mr Snake are a gay couple even though Wolf clearly loves Diane Foxington. She then mentioned an animated series she’s planning and how she doesn’t want people changing her own straight characters.I noticed the 2 women at the next table felt increasingly uncomfortable. While I couldn’t determine the relationship between them, I figured they could be a lesbian couple based on their reactions to Valerie’s words. The pair had hurried to finish eating, leave a tip, and apparently complained to the manager about what they overheard at our table. The manager then approached us, turned to Valerie and said “Ma’am, you’re gonna have to leave for using hateful language.” Valerie doesn’t drive, but I wanted to finish my meal AND I didn’t want her in my car due to the attitudes she expressed and the fit she threw. Valerie then told me I “betrayed” her by denying her a ride home, even though it’s MY car and since I was getting upset too, it wouldn’t be safe to drive while distracted.She gave up, stomped out and across the street. I understand that she took Uber home, when her sister texted me saying “You abandoned Valerie in the middle of town? For real?”AITA for having Valerie on her own when she was removed from the restaurant?",AITA for refusing to drive my friend home when she was thrown out of a restaurant?,NTA
10vrusr," This sounds so ridiculous but it happens way more often than you might think.  Me (29F) and my boyfriend (40M) have been living together for about two years now, and he has an awful habit of leaving the toilet seat up, especially at night.  I wake up a couple times at night to pee thanks to a weak bladder, and every second counts when I'm hustling through the dark and trying not to trip on my cats.  Hell, every second counts during the day when I'm trying not to piss myself.  And since the bathroom is RIGHT there, I don't turn the light on to avoid disturbing him and waking myself up.  It's pretty dim, but not pitch black, so I can vaguely see where I am relative to everything else.  But so far this year (Feb 2023) I've sat in cold ass water twice.  Then I'm wide awake, and my scream of surprise and cold wakes HIM up, so we're both wide awake regardless.  I've told him a dozen times or more to put it down, but he just tells me to give it a quick wave to be sure I'm not about to take an impromptu bath.  He has some memory problems due to a childhood accident, so I have a feeling he's not intentionally leaving it up to mess with me (and why would he, since we both get interrupted sleep when it happens at night?) but it seems like such a simple ask.  So last night I snapped and yelled at him when it happened for the THIRD time.  He says I'm being an ass for yelling and not letting it go because it doesn't happen ""that often"".  So, AM I the asshole?",AITA for snapping at my boyfriend for leaving the toilet seat up?,YTA
10vgu37,"My boyfriend gets upset when I google something after we disagree. For example, yesterday we were talking about credit scores and I mentioned a surprising factor that can lower your credit score that I had read in an article a while ago. He disagreed with me, but did not have any reason to back it up other than that being his opinion and he’s never heard that before and if it’s true he would have heard it from his parents who have amazing credit scores (Note: we’re in our 20s and he just got a credit card in his own name this year. Also does not work in the finance industry or have any special knowledge on the topic).In these situations, I like to check that what I’m saying is true by googling it, since I want to make sure I’m not giving out wrong information and to also back up my claims. However, this angers him a lot. He says my googling “ruins the conversation” and he’s not even interested in the topic anymore by the time I get an answer (regardless of how quick I look it up). He also says there’s no point in a conversation if I have to google things. This leads us to the same unproductive argument every time. I’m having a hard time seeing his side of things and am just plain confused why this is such an issue? It isn’t about me being right or wrong- I just want to fact check to know what the legitimate answer is so we don’t go around continuing to spread incorrect information and also just to learn accurate info?Another example: we were talking about a celebrity and disagreed on who they were married to, but he didn’t want me to look it up to find out? I’m baffled.AITA for not validating/seeing his side??",AITA for fact checking things?,NTA
10vq7xv,"I (21f) work with a girl, let’s call her V (18f). About two days ago I wasn’t wearing makeup to work. For some context, I am very insecure without makeup. It’s probably the biggest insecurity I have and I try to avoid going makeup-free usually as I constantly feel like people are judging me. V comes into work and immediately asks if I feel okay, I say yeah I’m fine. She then proceeds to tell me that I look like shit not once but twice. I was shocked. I said I’m not wearing makeup and all she said was oh okay, no apology or anything. I gathered my thoughts and tell her a few minutes later that what she said was fucked up. She denied saying it and said I sound like shit, which is untrue, I wasn’t sick at all. I immediately felt crushed. It really sucked going to work makeup-free and being told I look like shit. I was so embarrassed and insecure I could barely work. I told my manager and an incident report was filed. A few days pass and of course we are the only two girls working together in the store. She tried to be nice when I came in but I didn’t give her the time of day. I spent the night she told me that bawling and very upset. It really hurt having my biggest insecurity pointed out like that. Because of this, I could not keep my cool with her. When no customers were around I told her how rude it was to say that and not apologize and that she was a jealous and insecure person. I was literally shaking with anger and telling her “how could you f****** say say that to anyone.” I was so upset she asked me to calm down. Both my parents and my boyfriend think I’m the a-hole for raging at her. And to be clear I was very, very pissed. I usually can control my anger but this pushed me over the edge. She left early and now I don’t know if I’m the a-hole. Also, yes I know being this insecure is why lashed out, but is it okay to go around telling your coworkers they look like shit knowing they have no makeup on? I’m afraid of getting fired now for my outburst. Feel free to be as brutally honest as you can.",AITA for Telling My Coworker She’s Jealous and Insecure?,YTA
10vol97,"\*This is a story from my friend. She's using my account to write her story. A few days ago, my family and I were celebrating my step-sister (Anna) birthday. Her birthday is two weeks after mine. My mother lives in a different state so she sent me birthday gifts by mail. I live with my father, step-mother and step-sister. For Anna's birthday, we organized a party at home with a bunch of her friends. As we were opening the gifts, she teared up a letter with two tickets in it. There was a note that she only read for herself, and I automatically knew why when she said her next sentence. Anna said: ""Awww, that's so sweet. Your mother as brought me tickets for (the artist name)."" I knew those were mine because it was concert tickets of my favorite singer. I told Anna that they were mine, but she refused to listen. I then asked her to show me the note, but again she refused. I was getting annoyed and angrier, so I went up to her and yanked the paper from her hands. Obviously, I was right, so I read out loud the note from my mother in front of everyone. Anna was embarrassed, her cheeks were burning red and she left crying. Her friends left founding the situation and her attitude pathetic. Now, my dad grounded me, my step-mother hates me and Anna doesn't want to speak to me. Am I selfish? I'm trying to have a better relationship with my mother and I know that she worked a lot to afford the tickets. It meant so much for me, but now my dad took them and said that he would see what he would do with it. My step-mother suggested me to invite Anna as an *apology* since theirs two places, but I know that the second one was meant for my mother. What should I do? AITA for causing that scene and ruining her birthday party?",AITA for making a scene on my step-sister birthday?,NTA
10vgqbt,"(English is not my native language, sorry for grammar)I (30f) am childfree. Don't want them, never have, never will. I'm getting my tubes tied in approximately 1,5 months. My parents have always said, ""You'll change your mind when you're older."" Yeah, no.I know that my mum will try to talk me out of the surgery if I tell her. WIBTA, if I don't tell them, so that they'll just keep waiting for me to ""change my mind""? I feel kind of shitty since it's a surgery, what if something happens, you know....EDIT: a friend will travel with me and wait at the hospital (it's in a town 6h away) and my boyfriend will take care of me when I get home. He stays at home to take care of my cats.EDIT 2: Thank you ❤️",WIBTA if I don't inform my parents about upcoming surgery?,NTA
10vna1k,"Four years ago my (32M) sister and her husband died in a car accident, leaving their twin babies (now 5M and 5F) behind. My husband (35M) and I decided to adopt them after the accident. Getting the twins was very unplanned.I have always worked a job where I work on the weekends and am off on Wednesdays and Thursdays. This schedule is very normal in my field and in order for my schedule to change, I'd either need to change careers or get into upper management, where my job would be so different I'd basically be changing careers. I've known some people that have occasional weekends off but it's always a fluctuating schedule. My husband works a traditional Monday through Friday. When the twins were young, this worked out great because they were only in daycare for 3 days a week, so it meant we had more financial flexibility. This past fall, the twins started school. On the days both me and my husband work, the twins are in an afterschool program until one of us can pick them up. On the days I'm off, I do a lot of chores and errands during the day (cleaning, grocery shopping, meal prepping) and pick up the twins right after school. If the twins need any medical appointments, they happen on my days off. My husband has them during the day on the weekends.A few days ago, my husband pulled me aside and said that he was upset that he was doing more parenting than I was. I asked what he meant. He said that he had the kids fully 2 days a week and I only had them some afternoons and that he had them more. I asked ""Is there something I can do to balance it out?"" He said that I needed to be home on the weekends to take care of the kids. I said I could only maybe take some weekends off. He said that wasn't good enough and that I was making excuses so I could ""keep sitting around doing nothing all day"" when I'm off. He apparently thinks I should switch careers for our family. This turned into a pretty heated argument and we're both still mad. We haven't come to a solution yet but I'm pretty freaked out that I'm in the wrong and I just don't realize it. AITA?",AITA for not splitting childcare evenly with my husband?,NAH
10vukzw,"Here's the story.I (56M) was helping my daughter (23F) move from Pittsburgh to her new apartment in downtown Madison, WI.The apartment building has underground parking, but the UHaul truck we were using to move her stuff was too tall to enter the garage. Because of this, I contacted the Madison parking authority a week ahead of time and purchased two ""tags"" for the parking meters in front of the apt building's main entrance. These tags cost $76 for the weekend and came with signs saying ""No Parking by Order of Madison Police"" and listed the hours that I had purchased the spots for.We spent all day with the UHaul parked in those spots while we unloaded the truck. We then drove the UHaul (it is a 10-footer) to go have dinner at a local restaurant. When we came back, there were two cars parked in the spaces - even though the signs on the meters clearly stating ""No Parking"" were still there. It was a Saturday night in downtown Madison and every spot on the street was taken.So I called the police (non-emergency) line and told them someone was illegally parking in the spots that I had paid for and that I had nowhere to park our truck and I wanted the vehicles towed.30 minutes later, the parking authority cops and a tow truck arrived, I showed them my proof that I had the meters reserved for the weekend, and they proceeded to start to load the first vehicle on the truck.Here's where I feel like a little bit of TA. I didn't notice that one of the cars had a handicap placard on its rearview mirror. As they had just finished loading up that vehicle on the tow truck, a man with his son (who appeared to be mentally disabled) came running out of a nearby restaurant yelling that it was their car. The tow truck guy said, ""Don't talk to me, talk to him"" and pointed at me.I told the man, ""I'm sorry your car is being towed, but you parked here illegally and I paid for these meters so I could park my truck here all weekend. The signs are clearly visible, you had no right to park here and there's no place else on this street to park the truck.""He proceeded to call me every name in the book, and said ""My son is handicapped! I can park wherever I want! Why would you pick on a handicapped person! This is going to cost me hundreds!""The parking cop stepped in, on my behalf, and said ""Sir, your handicapped placard does not give you the right to park in a NO PARKING spot."" And then told the guy where he could pick up his vehicle (at this point, the tow truck had begun driving away).The guy yelled at me some more and said ""I hope you're happy, AH!""I felt bad for the guy... I'm sure it cost at least $300 to get his car back... but then again, I don't think I did anything wrong. I paid for the spot - and handicapped passenger or not, he had no legal right to take it.Was I TA?",AITA for having a car towed?,NTA
10viuye,"To give some context, I (m31) own a few car dealerships and I have an employee (f26) who is great at selling cars but, as a person, she has made some awful awful life decisions.To give a few examples, she is an ex-felon, she gave up her child to foster care, and she has a very...unique relationship with her current-ex. I know this because he came to my dealership and cussed her out in-front of the whole showroom. I had to eventually have him thrown out and she promised to me that this wouldn't happen again.With this in mind, one day I got my little brother (m24) a job as an intern at one of my showrooms (he's a business management major and wants to eventually get into the business). He's a hard worker, great grades, and is basically the embodiment of black-excellence.Nevertheless, in the first few weeks of interning for one of my managers, I realized that he had gotten very very close with her. Then a manager of mine made it aware to me that they have started dating and that he wanted to inform me before having to inform HR (as that may lead to them being reprimanded).This whole situation has thrown me for a loop. I love my brother but this is not right. For 1, he hasn't disclosed this to HR, which is an ethical problem (as he is an intern and she is an employee). For 2, this just feels like watching a crash waiting to happen. Like I know he didn't know her past and he's got love-goggles on.With all this in mind, as their employer, I did tell him to report this to HR. During this conversation, I also asked him if he was sure he really wanted to date her. He said, yes, and I told him what I knew about her so he could make an informed decision. Now let me be clear, I did not at any point tell him that she was an ex-felon (that would be unethical). I did however tell him things what I directly witnessed or was made aware to me (and basically the entire showroom) due to situations like the one mentioned above. If it was told to me directly by her, in confidence, I did not say it. The things revealed on the showroom that day included things like adultery and etc. He clearly didn't know all of this but my wife has stated that I had no right to say anything beyond referring them to HR. I said, I just wanted him to make an informed decision.With all this in mind, AITA?​EDIT (Clarification):1. I thought a personal approach would be the best one to take here. She is on thin ice with HR. If I did report her, it may have resulted in an ethics investigation and, given her record as an ex-felon, that could have possibly eliminated her future job prospects. I did not believe her personal-life should effect whether she gets a job (given how great at this job she is).  So I did not report this to HR, and instead went to him directly first and then her as well.2. There seems to be some confusion from direct messages I have received. There is a difference between telling HR about a relationship and telling HR about a code violation. I told them to tell HR about their relationship. I could have reported them for a code violation, I didn't, due to the aforementioned reasons.3. I also feared other employees telling him, which would have been even more disastrous. I don't know how long she was willing to risk it, but that could have led to some uncomfortable conversations, not to mention another incident at the showroom.4. One other thing, I believe I should mention is that the incidences are years apart. The incidence with her ex-boyfriend happened some 3 years ago and them being boyfriend-girlfriend has been something that at most probably has been going on for a few months.",AITA for telling my brother to stay away from an employee of mine?,NTA
10vtaj6,"I apologize for how long this was but the details are important(?) TLDR: My ex-wife demands I provide more child support due to her moving to a much more expensive location and I said no.My ex and I divorced in 2015, we had four kids together. I was active military and she was a stay at home mom. It made sense for the kids to stay with her, I was subject to fairly often work trips. Our state (WA) has a formula to determine child support and I offered to pay more than the state required ($1500).A few months later, I met my girlfriend on eHarmony (we married in 2017). Things went ok for the next year or so, but as always happens in the military, I was transferred to a different state. This required a change in the parenting plan, we mutually agreed (without going to court to officially change it).This seemed to work out ok. In early 2018, she (my ex) let me know she was struggling financially and was having a difficult time finding a job while having the kids full-time. I agreed to take them for the ’18-’19 school year, so she could work full-time on finding a good job. Also during this time, I continued to pay her half the amount of my child support ($750) so she could continue to keep the house. It was not easy, but I never asked her for any money during this time.Fast forward to 2020, I have retired from the military and moved back to the area to be close to the kids. Note that my ex gets a portion (27%) of that retirement for the rest of her life (which I believe she’s entitled to).From 2020-2022, things seem pretty good. I live 20 minutes away and often visit her house to help watch the kids for work or medical reasons.She lived in a roughish area, and decided to get a job in a city 40 minutes away and made the decision to move closer to her job. After the move, she emails me demanding that I pay her more in child support due to the increased mortgage. She was super condescending and demanding. I told her no, saying her decision to move to more expensive area was her decision and I was not financially responsible for that decision. She reacted by saying I was never allowed in her house ever again and that she “didn’t need me and never did.” And we’ve lived in this detente for the next year.Fast forward again to this month, and I get another email (also during my weekend with the kids). Saying she has to replace the roof of her house; which will cost $16k which she will have to finance. She requested (not demanded this time) that I increase my financial support. The email was filled with guilt trips and never acknowledges the way I’ve supported her in the past. She proceeded to give a break down of her finances. She believes I should be responsible for 40% of her mortgage, car payments, and groceries. Her mortgage is $2500/mo and one of her car payments (lease) is $540/mo!Am I the asshole for telling her I’m not responsible for her poor financial decisions? Should I offer to take on the kids full-time?Edit 1: WA state changed its CS laws in 2017(?) which if I put in the numbers correctly (not knowing her income) I think I'd owe 1700/mo. But based on her emails, she feels that wouldn't be enough.",AITA for saying no to my ex’s request for increased child support?,NTA
10vjbfo,"My husband was a jewelry designer and I was a receptionist we and met through a mutual friend. we dated for 6 months before he asked the question. My engagement ring was very special and unique. My engagement ring was an extension of my wedding ring (Meaning the 2 fits together) and the stones for my ring are not diamonds but both our horoscopes gems (mine on his and his on mine) He told me that the minute he 1st met me he started to design our rings knowing I was the lady for him. And on our wedding night, we made a promise to never take it off.We lived the most romantic life one can live and we had only one son. Unfortunately, my husband died 10 years ago. It was the worst years of my life. When he was buried he had our rings on so I refused to take my rings off.Yesterday my son called me asking if he could come over to my place to discuss something. When he came over he told me he was going to ask his gf to marry him, and to do so he would like my ring. (I love his gf a lot and think they would make an excellent pair) I was shocked and said no this is not a topic of discussion. He told me it would mean a lot to his GF and I said she can have anything out of my jewelry box except my ring.He told me that his gf has been hinting about the ring and that I can keep the wedding ring but just give him the engagement ring. I told him that from that very statement, he doesn’t understand the story and love behind the ring. That he can make one like this but he can never have this, that I am to be buried with this ring. In anger, he called me an old hag stuck in the past and if I don’t give up the ring he will not just invite me to the wedding but cut me out of his life forever.I was shocked, my husband and I did not raise a brat. The words slipped out of my mouth, telling him that his father would be so ashamed and shocked at the way his son turned out to be. Without a word, he turned and left. I was standing there for some time before getting bombarded by calls from relatives calling me a bitch for saying that and now the only way to fix this is to apologize and hand the ring over.AITA?(my son is well aware of the story between us and he has very wealthy, I can understand wanting a family ring but I have plenty of rings of all gems designed by my husband. My son is 35 years old and he was 25 at the time of my husband’s passing and his gf is 34. She is also well aware of the story behind my ring so I don’t understand why would she hint that she wants it )(Sorry for spelling mistakes my English is okay and my hands are very shaky )",AITA for telling my son father would be so ashamed,NTA
10vv2u9,"TA Since gf is on reddit.My (28M) girlfriend (27F) of four years share an apartment.Her mom left them when she was a baby, and she was raised by her dad. Unfortunately, two days ago, her dad suffered a stroke. My gf was devistated, so we both took off from work to visit him. We couldnt stay long because I have a project going on at work, and her dad lives 4 hours away. Dr saidn it was a light stroke, so I assured her he'll probably be okay, but shes very quiet and withdrawn.We drove home very early the next day. She took off from work so I dropped her at our apartment. When I got home at 4pm, I found my gf passed out in our bed with 4 empty bottles wine scattered around the apartment.I woke her up and she admitted that she bought the alcohol as soon as I left her. That she was puking until she passed out. And that she didnt want to feel pain anymore. I get that. But she had a very bad drinking problem in her early 20's. I just dont want her to relapse and was upset at her. And now shes even more withdrawn.For context: the stroke was caused by a heart disease that my gf also suffers with, so they believe its genetic.",AITA for getting upset over my girlfriend drinking and blacking out?,NTA
10vr2cy,"We have this neighbor (F17 or 18) who asked me to connect her phone to our Wi-Fi, and I think I have to block her. Also, excuse me for the grammatical errors. English is not my first language. For context, our Wi-Fi speed is 80mpbs. There are 5 devices already connected. 3 phones and 2 Smart TVs. In the evening, the internet is a bit slower because everyone is using their phones. This girl asked me last last week to connect her to our Wi-Fi. She said she needed to do an assignment, and currently, their internet is not working. This was the first time she asked me. As a fellow student, I understand what she meant. That's why I didn't hesitate to connect her phone. She said she'll remove it (her connection or the password, I guess?) in the morning. It was fine until three days later, she was still connected. My sister said to change the password, and I did. I didn't know how to block someone's device yet. That's why I just changed the password. Then last week, she messaged me again, for the same reason that their Wi-Fi is still not fixed. So I did without hesitation because it sounded like she needed to do something urgently. After typing the password to her phone, she said the same thing. She would remove the Wi-Fi or something the next morning. Then later that day, I saw four more devices (not including our 5 devices) connected to our Wi-Fi. I was confused. Then I looked into who's device is connected and stuff. Then it was her brother and her brother's friends. Her brother from before scanned the Wi-Fi from our cousin that he's close with. So he was connected to the Wi-Fi. We changed the password from that time because he would have his friends scan too. I don't want to assume that she had them scan or something the Wi-Fi QR Code(?), but it's her brother. I don't know where he would get it because my cousin that he's close with is not here anymore. My sister was pissed because the Wi-Fi was very slow, and I explained it to her. She then changed the Wi-Fi password. It's back to just 5 devices. After this incident, I learned to block devices. Then last night, she (our neighbor) asked me again to connect her phone to our Wi-Fi. I was hesitant because my sister said not to entertain her. But our neighbor said it's the last time because they'll get their internet fixed by tomorrow. I said yes. But only because I could actually block her this time. Somehow, I feel like I shouldn't block her because what if she really needs it for school stuff? I also understand why my sister is mad because she pays half of the Wi-Fi bills. WIBTA?",WIBTA if I block my neighbour from our Wi-Fi?,NTA
10vw26j,"I (27F) work for a fast-casual restaurant. It's not out of the ordinary for me to sometimes get there early so I can eat something. Today was one of those days, as I had spent most of the day sleeping and thus didn't eat much. I was really craving a milkshake and a burger from my restaurant, especially since I get a 50% off discount. My coworker (40F) was already on the line, since I am her relief. I arrived 30 minutes before my shift and boy, were they busy, which is odd for a Monday. Coworker saw I had ordered something and was waiting at the bar; she immediately got pissed and asked why I didn't clock in early since she had clocked in early yesterday. I may be the AH for not returning the favor, but I don't have to clock in early if I don't want to, and I was there to eat while I still had the chance. Getting to eat while on the line is very hard since there's so much prep to do and I'm the only night cook. So, Reddit, AITA?",AITA for not clocking in early?,NTA
10vtyw9,"I (f29) plan a yearly girls trip with my best friend. Since we live far apart this is the one time I see her. We had this trip planned for months, and the AirBnB she booked was not refundable. I was very close with my grandma. But it was no surprise when she passed in October. Per my grandma’s wishes, we would have an very small, immediate family headstone dedication.  I texted my uncle asking how I could help, but never got a response. A few weeks later, I was told by my brother that my uncle changed his mind.  Now, instead they throwing a very large celebration of life. Of course on the weekend of my vacation. I told my brother I wasn’t going to go. I couldn’t put my friend out of the money, and I didn’t want to skip a 5 day vacation for a few hour sad celebration. I struggled at my dad’s celebration of life, and wasn’t ready to feel those feelings again. I said I would attend the headstone dedication instead, as that was what she wanted and was more intimate. He was upset. We honored my grandma on our trip. We talked about her a ton, had her favorite drink, and I sat on the beach and said my goodbyes. My cousin has since unfriended me on Facebook and blocked me on Instagram because of it. So, AITA?",AITA for going on vacation instead of grandma’s funeral?,NTA
10vn6e0,"I F(15) am turning 16 in a few days. It’s not something I’m really looking forward to as unlike my two siblings (m19 and m9) I don’t get a lot of gifts, brought out to dinner, or anything special. I’m usually okay with that but when I found out my mom worked from 5-9 on my birthday I was disappointed to say the least. None the less I still didn’t want that to damper the mood. My plans for my birthday were to go to softball practice from 3-5:30 come home and watch a movie with my dad. This morning he let me know he would be attending a friend’s funeral out of state that day. He didn’t mention anything about my birthday being the same day which stung a little but I tried to he understanding. During lunch my dad turned and said to me “you’ll have to skip practice on Thursday since I won’t be home and your mom works and we don’t want brother home alone” I got upset and asked why if he was only going to be home alone for 30 minutes and has stayed home alone for longer than before. After exchanging a few words I got upset and said “I’m sorry I rlly don’t want to spend my 16th birthday babysitting your son that hates me” in a rude tone he said that it wasn’t going to work and i was pissed off and upset that I can’t even spend two hours with my friends doing somthing I enjoy b4 babysitting on my birthday. I called my mom and explained what happened as I was upset and felt unimportant but she told me that I was being over dramatic about it all and it wasn’t a big deal. Later I was asked by my parents if I was upset that my dad was not home for my birthday but I didn’t want to say yes because I didn’t want to seem like an asshole for wanting him to skip the funeral for his college friend. I’m not asking for a lot for my birthday, no sweet 16 party, no new car, no fancy dinner or cake or even any presents but I’m wondering if I’m just making a big deal out of all of this for nothing. So am I the asshole?",AITA for being upset with my parents for their plans for my birthday?,NTA
10vvpah,"I 26F live with my parents. I am feeling overwhelmed and frustrated with my parent's insistence on an arranged marriage, it is pretty common here in my country although now situation is changing and more people find their own love and marry them. But my parents are typical so the don't wanna accept the new change. I have tried to explain to them that I want to wait until I find someone I love, but they refuse to listen. To make matters worse, they have been sneaking into my room at night and checking my phone while I am sleeping, using my photo as the unlock ID as they don't know the password. I have caught them doing this several times, and it has only made the situation more tense.I have finally decided that the only way out is to move out and live alone. I know it will be difficult, as it is not socially accepted for unmarried women to live on their own in my country, when they have their parent's house available. Everyone is against this decision in my family, but I feel like it's the only way for me to gain some independence and freedom from my parent's expectations. Ps: I earn a decent amount and can handle my expenses all alone.",AITA for thinking of moving out off my parents house?,NTA
10vlxxg,"My partner (49) and I (31) live in a three bedroom flat (our bedroom, his small kids’ room (which has a kids bunk bed and is only used when the kids come to visit) and my office room). We don’t have much space here and often use the kids room as a storage room. His sister and her husband (both mid 40s) are coming to our town for ~ 4 days, because the husband has some business to do here and my boyfriend’s sister is keeping him company. I don’t really like my boyfriend’s brother in law. He barely talks to me, or even asks me any questions. I like my boyfriend’s sister, but we’re not very close and very different people. I have only seen her twice in my life - when we visited my partner’s family. My boyfriend claims he also doesn’t like his brother in law and also says that he and his sister are not very close. Important info: sister and brother in law are both very rich. So affording a good hotel is no problem. We even have a hotel next door.My boyfriend’s sister and her husband want to stay with us. They don’t want to book a hotel. And I don’t want that. :( I am A very introverted person and it’s stressing me out enough that I have to spend every evening (incl dinner) with the sister and her husband (even if they’re in a hotel). But going to bed together with them every night (and then them seeing me potentially in my pyjamas when I use the bathroom), really kills me. I just don’t want that. I need my peace during the day and I need to be able to go to bed alone with my partner. I also work from home which means I’ll really be around his sister every day. My boyfriend will be at his office in town My boyfriend says he can’t tell them to get a hotel. It’s not polite. I just need to suck it up?What do you think? AITA? Is it really such a horrible thing to ask a rich married couple to stay the night in a hotel instead of our flat?",AITA for not wanting my partner’s sister and husband stay with us?,NTA
10vu46w,"At the drugstore, a customer was arguing with the cashier about a discount she didn't think was ringing up right. The cashier was a teen, trying his best, and was very patient with her. She was getting nastier because he couldn't make her happy, yelling about false advertising. This went on for 20 minutes, they even called another cashier to accommodate her debate. As I am checking out she walks away from the cashier counter to the back of the store & yells rude things to the cashier from across the store. When he doesn't answer her she says ""Hello! Are you listening to me?!"" She huffs to the counter & lays into the cashier, ""You're giving me such a hard time. Giving me attitude,  helping another customer..."" I lost it and said loudly, ""The only person being rude is you. Customer service does not mean customer abuse. They don't get paid to be treated like that by you."" She got quiet and said under her breath with her back to me, ""You should mind your own business"". I retorted, ""I would mind my business if you kept your voice down. If you are gonna treat people like that be prepared to take it from others calling you out because you are being a bitch, no one wants to listen to you."" She was leaving and said to me in passing, ""You don't know what was happening."" This pissed me off bc everyone had to listen to her for the past 20 minutes and her screaming across the store at the cashier like he was a dog. I looked her straight in the face, ""F*** you, goodbye."" She kept trying to have the last word and I just kept saying ""F*** you, goodbye"" to every single syllable that came out of her mouth. She even tried to tell me off from the parking lot while I was still at the checkout, to which was my final ""F*** you, goodbye."" I was so angry I couldn't think of anything more diplomatic or clever to say. It was apparent to me she just wanted to argue and felt justified because she wasn't getting what she wanted. I love a deal and use coupons all of the time but I am always kind and understand that you can't make a scan read what you want it to read. Only a manager can apply a manual discount off of your total and there are frequently no managers on site after peak hours.The two cashiers were so appreciative, they thanked me profusely. I told them I was sorry they were treated that way and that I hope she will think twice about treating someone like that in the future because there are people out there who will call her out. But within minutes I felt bad for cussing and losing my temper. Did I take it too far?",AITA for telling off a yelling customer?,NTA
10vrydw,"Some background information … I live in another country than my family (college), but my dad is currently in town (for around 10 days) and has repeatedly invited my so and I out for breakfast/lunch/dinner plus a 2 day stay in a fancy hotel. It’s been around 5 days since my dad has been here, and for the entire duration of this stay he’s been paying for every meal, sightseeing, museum tickets, etc. I’ve been noticing that my so repeatedly chose the most expensive items between the 3 of us, so when we went to dinner tonight I quietly and discretely advised them not to do it again (Their meal was around 30$ while my dad’s and mine were around 15-18$). My so then complained about it and said I was being rude and and an asshole … Which I don’t understand? It might be a cultural difference but where I’m from this behavior isn’t necessarily considered well mannered. On top of that, my so is complaining about having to pay for their own theme park admission tickets in a few days. I’m kind of baffled by all of this but … Am I the asshole for considering this whole situation rude/ungrateful?",AITA for telling them not to order the most expensive item?,NTA
10vs868,"I (38M) work in a big tech corporate environment where I’m a manager. One of my employees, Katy (54F) had her father die recently.I offered Katy my condolences and made sure that she could take time away from work to grieve and take care of any arrangements for her parent and family. This partly meant covering some of her work for her. In discussion with a co-worker (Sarah), I shared that Katy would be out for the next couple weeks because her dad passed away, so if Sarah needed anything from Katy just reach out to me instead. Sarah sent Katy a note of support offering her condolences. The issue here is Katy came back to work and is really upset with me for sharing her private information (that her dad died). I know that such a thing is very personal, but I didn’t realize it’s the kind of thing you keep confidential. Katy says if I didn’t need to share that information, and I shouldn’t have done it without her permission.I’m not looking to start shit and don’t think there’s a “win” to be had here so I simply apologized and hope it goes away. So, AITA for telling co-workers that Katy’s dad died?",AITA for sharing that my co-workers dad died?,YTA
10vt9qr,"I 35(F) and him 39(m)have been together 12 years, married for 9. We have two boys together. We’ve had our up and downs like most marriages do. However he seems to not be able to help himself from texting other women. When we first got together I found him messaging his exes when drunk. But as the years went on, I’d find out he was in certain websites talking dirty to others and sending pictures. But just the other day at my birthday he threw for me, his snap kept going off so I finally looked at it, he was passed out drunk, and it was a women asking him to send her certain pictures and videos. I looked back and there was a lot… not just with her. I was livid, I felt like such a fool, that I keep giving him all these chances. I confronted him the next day, first he attacked me by saying it’s all my fault he does these things. Later in the day he said to him it’s not cheating, it’s like p*rn to him and just chatting, swears he has never been with anyone else since me, then he said he is a f*caked up deviant who needs help. So my question is, am I the asshole for calling him a cheater or I am right and he is going to continue messing with me forever…",AITA for being done with my husband after I caught him on snap chat with other women,NTA
10vnvti,"I am currently a high school senior. My friend group has about five people in it, one of them was Mia. In sophomore year, Mia got a boyfriend, Elias. Things were normal for about two months, then Mia started to only spend time with Elias. We would make plans together, Mia would say she was coming, not show up, and we would all wait for her and text her. Mia would never respond back, so we would get worried that something bad happened to her. But then when we saw her in person and asked her about it, Mia would just be like “Oh yeah, Elias and me just wanted one-on-one time.” Mia had access to her phone the whole time. She just didn’t even bother telling us and just knowingly left us waiting on her. She even lied that she had a family emergency and couldn’t come to our friend Tessa’s birthday. We bumped into Mia and Elias at the mall and found out that the family emergency was made up. (Elias was welcome to come to all these events, he and Mia just wanted couple’s only time.) That went on for almost two years. Mia barely gave us one-word answers over text and would just blow us off in person for Elias. We still tried to invite her and Elias to hang out/events, but we wouldn’t wait after five minutes because we knew that they wouldn’t show up anyway.Mia suddenly started texting us back and trying to talk to us again. It turns out Elias moved away. Mia expects us to come to lunch everyday because she says she feels too weird/bored being by herself, when we literally just can’t because we have clubs and things for college/graduation that have to get done. I’m the only person in my friend group without an actual part-time job, but it’s only because I have to babysit my siblings on weekends. Mia will tell us about plans the hour before they’re supposed to happen and will get angry that we’re too busy to hang out. Recently Mia called us all uncaring and bad friends because we were all at work/babysitting and couldn’t go to the mall.I texted Mia privately saying that she can’t expect is to drop everything for her after she’s neglected us as a friend for so long. She’s allowed to spend time with her boyfriend. But that friends are also people who you need to spend time with if you want to have a relationship with them. We can’t drop everything on your whim when you’ve barely talked to us for almost two years.My older sister Kennedy saw me texting this to Mia (she’s home from college) and said I was the asshole. Kennedy said my other friends and I were entitled and that the world doesn’t revolve around us so we can’t always expect Mia’s time. We’ve never “always expected” Mia’s time though. Just for her to not blow us off or at least be honest for two years. It also seems hypocritical because Mia chose to ignore us for so long for Elias and we literally just don’t have time to meet because of jobs and graduation/college things that need to be done. But Kennedy is usually right about things like this, so I thought I’d ask on here.",AITA For being honest with my friend that she can’t expect us to drop everything for her after she’s neglected us for so long?,NTA
10vwl2w,"So, I’m going to start that I’ve already posted that story in other subs and got a lot of creepy messages asking for pics, so… please, don’t be creepy.I’m a 25 year old guy and my mom is 47. My father and her have been divorced for 6 years by now. They met in college and all. My father has his own life and we don’t talk much, but I live close to my mom (separately, though) and drop by a lot. I’ve advised her to hit the gym last year and she did. Two days ago, when I was at her place, she told me that she met a ‘younger’ guy there. I assumed it was someone in his early 40s or something, no big deal. But then she told me it was a 22 year old guy. Showed me their pics and all. As she said, they’ve been going out for almost a month (that explains her recent shopping spree, I guess). Then, later on in the day, when I entered the room she was on the phone with her female best friend. Regretfully, I have overheard certain details about this man she was gushing over. I don’t want to quote it, but let’s just say that mom was excited about a certain physical feature. When she noticed me, she gave me a weird look and went to the other side of the room.We didn’t talk much about it. On Monday I’ve called her a few times in the evening and she didn’t respond. She called me back this morning (Tuesday) just a few hours ago. I told her that I’ve overheard everything and asked if she was sure about what she was doing. She said it was natural and that she has certain needs, and at the end of the day we had a pretty big argument over it. I said a few things I ain’t proud of, she said she wants my support and I refused. Said he could be taking advantage of her (mom is well off), she laughed it off and I claimed she was just being stupid. At this point, she said some things in return and hung up.Funnily enough, I myself have dated older, so for me it’s sort of a boomerang.TL;DR I don’t support mom dating younger, had an argument over it.",AITA For Arguing With Mom About Her Dating Life,YTA
10vtokf,"I, 22F live with one roommate 21F in a small apartment. We were friends before becoming roommates and we were always at each others houses anyways, so it seemed to make sense to be roommates. Everything was going so well until about three months into the lease she started dating her boyfriend, 24M. At the beginning I was so happy that she was happy after getting out of a terrible relationship before this one, but then it began to make my living situation hell.Her boyfriend is a former drug addict that has not been able to hold a job for longer than 3 weeks over the course of their relationship, so she's constantly giving him money which meant that I've had to cover her rent multiple times. He has stolen food from me, and they ransacked my room one time when they were convinced I stole something. (spoiler: I didn't.) They leave dirty dishes for weeks and food everywhere - we even had bugs for a little bit because of it. He's also very rude to me - he called me fat to my face, and said that no one would ever love me. Both times she made me apologize to him for making him mad enough to say that.In addition, he manipulates her by constantly telling her he's going to k\*\*l himself and how he's going to do it in graphic detail whenever he's upset with her, making her leave work and ditch plans with me and our other friends. He has currently been here for 15 days. Our lease says that we cannot have a guest over for more than 7 days in a row. They've kept me up every night until 4 am even after I've asked them to be quiet, and they leave messes everywhere. Every time I ask when he is going home, she or he yells at me for being insensitive towards her falling in love and that he's in a fragile mental state. I try to explain that my space just feels violated and I just want them to cut back on how many days he's here.I've talked to them many times, and I didn't want it to come to this, but I feel as though I have to go to my landlord. She's one of my closest friends (I know, I know that I should not have moved in with my best friend) but I don't even feel comfortable living here anymore. Every time I try to talk to her about it she verbally abuses me. So would I be the asshole for getting her in trouble with the landlord for breaking the guest policy and for making me uncomfortable?",WIBTA for going to my landlord?,NTA
10vn0to,"My (31m) gf (30f) is having a large bday party next week. I have struggled with alcohol addiction for a while.  I am 15 days sober.I told my gf I’m not going to a party with alcohol. She said if that’s the problem it will be a non-alcoholic party.  People are going to wonder why there is no alcohol and I know they’ll bring some themselves regardless. Also, I don’t want anyone knowing I’m in recovery, and it will likely get spread that I am the reason there is no alcohol. I also don’t want others to not drink just because I’m there.  I’m just trying to get to a point I can be around alcohol without drinking it (a point that will honestly take a couple of months I’d imagine).She is upset I’m not going and won’t leave me alone about it.EDIT: My ideal scenario is she has the party without me there, and I told her that her and I can have our own party the next day where I’ll give her a present, dinner and a bday cake.",AITA for not going to my girlfriend’s birthday party?,NTA
10vr6ji,"My sister has lived with me and my husband more-on-than-off for 10 years, beginning with sleeping on our couch for free in a 600 sq/ft apartment downtown Vancouver, to her own bedroom/bath in a shared 2B condo for $300, to now a separate 2B basement suite in Squamish, originally for $900, recently increased to $1200. For anyone who knows this area and the housing market, these rates are incredibly low, we could easily earn double for the suite. But we've always accommodated her because she is close family who struggles financially and we hoped by leaning on us she would eventually get a leg-up on life.Fast forward: my husband and I purchased a 5B house with 3B on top, and seperate 2B downstairs. We now have 2 kids who share a room, while the 3rd room is a home daycare for 2 additional kids. So at max capacity we are 2 adults and 4 children (and a cat!) sharing the same square footage as my single sister who refuses to get a roommate to pay us more rent.A few months ago I asked what her life plans were and implied it was getting a bit cramped upstairs and ideally I would like to move the daycare downstairs so our own children can get their individual rooms back and my husband and I can separate our home from my job. Every time I bring up the subject and stress the reasons it is important for us to take over the space downstairs, she responds with ""it is too expensive for me to move out."" To be honest it really is...she earns low income and Squamish rental market is absurdly high. So, AITA for asking my sister to move out and take on her own financial burdens so my family and business can grow into the entire house, even if it forces her to grind and sacrifice in an unaffordable community? My internal debate becomes: is it more important for my own family to be more comfortable, in exchange for her to become very uncomfortable? Or is she actually the A for taking advantage of us and I just need to be more forceful and say get-the-F-out?",AITA for asking my sister and roommate/tenant for 10 years to finally move out?,NTA
10vu2q1,"my girlfriend & i (25M, 26F) have been dating for 2 years now. due to her current life circumstances, she has been in a constant state of stress/anxiety for the last year. recently she began displaying some usual & concerning symptoms... after some testing, we learned that she has lupus. she has no family history of it, so the doctor concluded that the condition was brought on by stress.i am supposed to fly out of the country to visit my family for 8 days on wednesday. i have contemplated the idea of postponing (the airline said they could cancel & apply the fare value for a future trip) but the mere suggestion of it brought backlash from my family. AITA for not cancelling/postponing my trip to be there for my girlfriend after learning about her diagnosis?",AITA for not canceling my trip after my girlfriend was diagnosed with lupus,NAH
10vq2a7,"I (F31) am helping my Mom (F66) plan a milestone birthday party for my grandmother(F 99!). We are organizing the party including the venue, catering, decorations, and invitations and guest list.I sent the invitations out and had people RSVP to my Mom because a lot of Gran’s old friends and relatives know my mom better than me. Quite a few relatives have received their invitation and invited additional people. My Mom had politely told them that just the folks listed on the invitation were invited and everyone had been okay with that. It turns out my cousin (M56) had just discovered he has a daughter in her 20s. They have never met but have been speaking on the phone. My cousin invited her and her boyfriend to this birthday party. My mom told him she didn’t think it was appropriate for their first meeting as the day is really about Gran’s birthday. He brushed her off so I decided to call and tell him  that I felt the same way. I stressed that we aren’t trying to be unwelcoming and other people were told the same thing about additional guests. And that we'd all love to meet at any other family get together. He called me manipulative and selfish and said no one from his family, including his other children and their kids, would come if his daughter was excluded from the party (I don’t know that they all feel this way, but that is what he told me).My mom agrees with me but thinks I should have just kept quiet so there wouldn’t be any bad feelings around the party. But I feel like that is giving him special treatment considering what we have told other guests. Am I the asshole?",AITA for telling my cousin it was inappropriate to invite his daughter to my Grandmother’s birthday?,YTA
10vmovh,"My dentist recently recommended that I get Invisalign, and I mentioned that to my fiancé. He also expressed interest in getting it, as his dentist recommended it as well. For the record, we have completely different dentists and different dental insurance. I scheduled the consultation a few days later, after my most recent cleaning. I thought my appointment was next Monday, but got a text this morning saying that it was today. I went to the appointment, and later mentioned it in passing when he and I were texting. He said he was surprised to hear that I had made the appointment and I told him that I had, but mistakenly thought it was next week. He was upset because he felt “left out” and said that if I had expressed interest in something he was doing, he would’ve told me about  making an appointment. I said that I always tell him anytime I have any appointments, dental or otherwise, and chances are I would have mentioned it later this week. That wasn’t satisfactory, and he’s still upset with me that I moved forward with making an appointment for myself. AITA for moving forward with my appointment at my separate dentist and not telling him because  thought the appointment was a week away still? For the record, I am completely paying for it myself so it’s not affecting him financially or otherwise, really.UPDATE: He says that he’s not upset, he was just telling me how he felt (like he got left behind) and that it seems like I don’t care about how he feels….but he literally doesn’t seem to understand that I didn’t even know my appointment was today…UPDATE #2: He has apologized for not understanding the fact that I didn’t know my appointment was today and for overreacting. He said he was caught off guard that I had already started the process, but realizes I’m well within my right to do that.",AITA for getting Invisalign?,NTA
10vve5z,"my wedding (shaadi) is in 10 days and my mother in law has gotten me lots of pakistani suits and dresses, and i love them and they’re beautiful, but the sleeves are either too short or see through.i have never worn short sleeves or see through sleeves because i’m insecure of my arms because they’re big and i have scars on my forearms from years ago. i also back my reason with religion because my arms aren’t supposed to be revealed anyways. i feel like it’s my fault because i should have told her beforehand how i wear sleeves but now it’s too late. i’m not sure what could be done about the shorter sleeves, but i know a lining can be stitched for the longer see through sleeves, but i feel so bad for even thinking about saying that because there are so many and the majority of them are like that. she’s also gotten my dress for my wedding as a gift. it is absolutely stunning but, sleeves are too short.i feel like such a disappointment and want to cry because i know that there’s always something wrong that happens in a wedding, but i don’t know how to handle this and feel like a bad person for telling her that i can’t wear 99.8 % of the clothes. AITA?",AITA because mother in law got me clothes i love but can’t wear,NTA
10vrtk7,"I (F 27) and my husband (M 28), have been together for the past 6 years. My husband let me know when we first got together about his dad, the abuse, negativity, drinking etc. He let me know in advance of what to expect but I had no idea how bad it would be. My first experience was when we moved in together, when my husband told me all the nasty things he said about me. I‘ve never done anything to my FIL and I’ve always been polite, so this shocked me. I didn’t know how to interact with his dad after that, so I just went LC. Today we were invited to dinner and I was hesitant, but ultimately decided to go. We went over to FIL’s house and greeted everyone, but I had to go to the bathroom before I sat at the table. Conversation between Husband and FIL: FIL: “Did you eat today? I made your favorite” Husband: “I had some leftovers and some snacks earlier… why?” FIL: “That’s not real food…You should tell that bitch to get off her lazy ass at work and cook more for you.” His family went silent, and FIL tried to laugh it off like he was joking, not realizing I came back from the bathroom.Me: “ Now I see why MIL left you. You alcoholic, cheating, abusive self absorbed asshole. People only hang out with you because they’re scared of you.”Husband: “Go fuck yourself dad. Let’s go honey, we can eat out.”We grabbed our stuff and left. My husband got a text 2 hours ago from FIL claiming I embarrassed him and he demands an apology. My husband said I was okay, but I feel like I overstepped my bounds a bit.AITA?",AITA for calling my FIL out and ruining family dinner?,NTA
10vkvk6,"Hi! I just turned 33 today (33/F). I have no plans today but I do have plans over the span of the next week. Anyway, I used to be very close with a girl from ages 25-30. I’d say we were best friends basically. She got into a relationship a few years ago and we have since drifted apart (which is to be expected when you get into a relationship). She has taken this to the extreme though - she won’t make plans with me unless it involves her boyfriend too OR if I’m driving the 45 minutes to the dive bar near them. She will never meet me for dinner or anything. I stopped driving out towards her for this reason. I felt the friendship was kind of one sided. Also, if we did make plans, a lot of the time she would cancel right before and make up a lame excuse. Anyway, a week ago she asked if she could take me out for my birthday today because as of a week ago I didn’t have plans today specifically. I told her sure and we discussed a few places. I was a little hesitant but I thought she’d actually keep the plans since it’s my birthday. (Lesson learned!)Today around noon she messages me and asks if we can reschedule because her 2nd job asked her to work tonight. (Mind you - she lives with her parents still and has no bills so she’s not pressed for money). My heart sunk because I knew it was a blatant lie. Her 2nd job never asks her to come in on Mondays for as long as I’ve known her. I said “no problem!” But I now plan on not speaking to her anymore. I feel there is no value left in our friendship. AITA for completely cutting her off? Is it worth saying anything further?",AITA for cutting my friend off after she cancelled birthday dinner plans?,NTA
10vu28i,"Ill give some context here first so there's some idea of the situation. I have a 2 bedroom apartment with my fiance and my 2 yo son. I am currently 22 weeks pregnant with my 2nd child. My name is the only name on my lease because I moved in first before my fiance and our roommate moved in later as well. I (21 F) and my fiance (20 M) have both been having issues with our roommate (22 M) since he started dating my childhood friend (22 F). Now I will say that I have known our roommate (I'll call him J) since middle school and his gf (I'll call her B) since elementary, so I feel like I have known them long enough to let them into my home. Now this is where the problem started. B started using all of my things without my permission and J has been telling me to get over myself and justifying her behavior because of her mental health issues (I know she has issues with depression). The problem is I found out that when I was 8 weeks pregnant that I have Lukimia and could no longer work so even though I'd want them out just over that I can't afford to kick them out because my fiance's income isn't enough. I've asked her to stop using my soaps and my clothes without my permission for months and the only way I could get her to stop using my soap was to get rid of it which sucked for me because I have severe allergies to most soaps so for over a month now I have not been able to properly bathe myself just to get her out of my things. When I moved all my soaps out of my bathroom to try and hide it, she raided my room and both her and my roommate said that I was being an asshole for trying to keep her out of my things. This months water bill came in too and it's over $60 because she has been taking 3 hour long showers and when I told B and J off about it they said it wasn't their problem. J made B pay the excessive bill because I told him that if she didn't cover what she used that I was going to make them pack their bags, which honestly make me feel like a jerk. I have continuously asked them to respect my boundaries and my child as well because they've been blaming everything on him (messes, things being moved, any time they loose something etc). Ive had to threaten them with us getting evicted just to get them to clean the mess that they made in the living room and even then I was doing most of the work. Ive come to a crossroads here and honestly I'd feel like an asshole if I kicked them out, but I feel worse for trying to get them to respect the boundaries I have tried to set in place and it not going anywhere.Am I the asshole for wanting them to respect my boundaries?",AITA for wanting my roommate and his gf to respect my boundaries?,NTA
10vn2zg,"My boyfriend and I of 4 years have unsupportive ignorant genx and boomer parents. We live right in the middle of New York City and we’re currently moving out to Minnesota. We already paid for a AirB&B (since neither wanted to co-sign for us) and we have been employed by the job before we told my parents we’re moving. We have roughly 1k+ saved up and are leaving as fast as we can. My parents live in New York public housing and I’ve just been told that since I got the job right after my mom did her taxes, housing is going to accuse her of fraud and kick her out since she and I are on the lease and I already did paperwork for my job saying I am employed there. I didn’t ask for help from them because they take everything I do as if I am defying them and purposely attack them (they’re are helicopter parents). They’re known to shoot me down for anything or give me advice that they want for me, not what I want. I feel bad but don’t at the same time. It’s a mix of gaslighting saying I need them. In my defense, I won’t have anyone when they die besides my boyfriend but even then, I’ll still be alone if he decides leaves me. I just want to do things on my terms and how I want to live life. Am I the asshole since I did this behind their back? IF they do end up going homeless?Edit1: I’m sorry I’m wording everything really bad and leaving a few details out but I’m answering questions and hopefully from my responses, y’all can helpEdit2: Only my mom and I are on the lease. My dad lives with us but isn’t on the lease so this might give some clarity!",AITA I accidentally made my parents homeless?,NTA
10vszxx,"So, yesterday evening, these guys were having a conversation in our school Whatsapp group. I (17 M) was just reading the messages and not responding to anything when I noticed that one of them started making fun of a boy in our class.He was essentially fat-shaming him, although they termed it as a ""joke"" and that it was just harmless ""roasting."" I knew it was probably unwise to poke my head into it, but I told them it was uncool to say that. He defended his behaviour by asking me to chill out, and his friends started responding to me as well.One of them said the same thing, that they were just roasting that guy (it must be noted that he wasn't present at that time and that he likely doesn't enjoy their jokes from what I've seen, he just puts up with it). The other girl was like ""Oh, so you're capable of talking? I'd thought you were deaf.""And then it proceeded with them asking me to mind my own business, that I should just get to bed with a bottle of milk, etc. I just pretended as if it were friendly banter (I responded to their messages at times, and just laughed when they ""joked"" about me being a transwoman/feminine in nature) before eventually not responding to their messages.It's left a rather sour taste in my mouth, however, and I was just wondering whether I should've interfered in the first place. I'm not close friends with the person he made one joke about, but I thought he gets enough of them in class without extra helpings from them outside school too.However, no one else except me seemed to care either. I woke up this morning to everyone in the group having read those messages, and absolutely no one appeared to care in the slightest. It's had me wondering whether I over-reacted or something.Am I the asshole?",AITA for telling my classmates that it's not cool to make fun of a boy in class?,NTA
10vfrnh,"So I (20nb) have always been a bit strange when it comes to grief I just don't really. I honestly think it may be because of my autism I process those emotions differently. I'm upset when I find out someone close dies of course but it's never visible like I don't cry and tend to move on very quickly. Anyway my uncle died last week unexpectedly and the funeral was this last Saturday and I didn't cry or show any grief at all.After the funeral my mom comes up to me crying asking why I was being so horrible. I was confused and asked what she meant and she said I was being awful and acting like I didn't even care her brother is dead. I tried to explain I do care but she wouldn't listen she just kept yelling about how I was an emotionless robot and ""why couldn't I just be normal"". I don't know what to do. I swear I do care about my uncle I just can't visibly grief the way she wants me too. Am I the asshole? should I've been more upset? am I not normal?",AITA for not acting “correctly” at a funeral?,NTA
10vuzbp,"Hi, I'm 15 (m), and 2 days ago, my sister lashed out on me because I wanted my tablet back because that was her only source of talking to her boyfriend. We both mutually agreed that 10 pm is when my tablet will be returned to me. She vented to our mom, causing my mom to strip away my rights to using my tablet my dad paid for, saying that ""she can take anything away whenever she wants."" Now I'm left with no tablet because my mom said I should give my sister my tablet and that ""I already have a phone."" And now my sister is only allowed to use my tablet. I lend my sister my tablet, xbox, wifi, and anything that is entertaining, and all I ask for in return is no rude tone or shitty attitude towards me when I want my tablet back. After explaining that her lashing out on me was fucked up to do since I give her my stuff she full on barged into my room sobbing yelling ""you can have the tablet back"" and throwing the tablet at me. Shortly after, my mom called me ""fucked up"" and snatched my tablet away from me. My girlfriend also agrees with me that I deserved better tonight from everyone. She was there for everything since we were on the phone when everyone was screaming at meI just want to know, am I really the asshole for wanting my tablet back? Because all day I've been called a asshole and painted out to be abusive towards my sister, this has happened to me for 3 days but ended tonight, hence why I am banned off of my tablet but my sister is only allowed to use itEdit: I do nothing to anyone. I stay in my room all day and respect everyone in my house",AITA for wanting my tablet back?,NTA
10vtyj7,"I (17f) have a little brother (15m) who just had his birthday. Ever since then I feel like his behavior has been escalating alot. Tonight it really boiled over and it was because of me. He's been very aggressive towards my mother(42f) and father (50m), starting arguments and picking fights, but I try and ignore him.My mom made dinner and served my brother a plate before letting me use the stove. I decided I wanted to make Ramen instead as I was feeling chilly and wanted soup. While making it I was humming to myself, but my brother turned up his phones volume very loud. He refuses to wear earbuds often and cranked his video up to the max as it began making terrible screechy sounds.I turned and asked him to turn it down. He responded that he would if I stopped my ""annoying humming"". My mom was in the living area and told him to turn it down too, which began a fight. He kept insisting I needed to stop humming and he wouldn't turn it down or put his earbuds in. My brother thinks he can say whatever he wants because its his 'freedom'. so I just said ""If you've got he freedom of saying and doing what you want, I get the same. I can hum however I want.""He then yelled me and kept escalating, calling me names and cussing at me until my mom and him got into a yelling match. I stayed quiet. My mom tells me a lot that when I yell back and pitch fights with him I'm just as bad as he is, so.. I shut up. He eventually got up to go tell my dad and he left his phone on the table, still playing the video.My mom got up and went to turn it off when he came back and he started losing it, ripping his phone away and putting it in his pocket as he said he now wouldn't be giving it over and she needed to get out of his space. My mom then called my dad for backup after he told her if she took his phone he'd throw his plate of food all over her. My dad came out and both of them cornered him by the dinner table and began demanding his phone. He was screaming about how they needed to back up and get away or he wouldn't give it.I just stood by the stove, stirring my noodles. I make my ramen in a particular way. I use the same pot, bowl, and utensils every meal. I cook it for ten to twelve minutes exactly depending on how I'm feeling (has to be 10 or 12). So I was really just paying attention to my food and the clock. Then he starts yelling about how this was all ""my game"". He was blaming me and saying I was playing a game, that they were letting me ""win"" by trying to take his phone and this was all my ""plan"".What plan?! Dude, I'm humming making my fucking soup! Eventually they did get the phone, which was the end of my dads involvement. But my brother was livid. He began throwing things everywhere and cussing me out, trying to convince him this was some huge ""game"" of mine. I'm hiding in my room for the night. AITA?",AITA for keeping quiet when my parents cornered my brother?,NTA
10vpdxq,My Flatmate twisted her ankle last week. Her friend drove her to the hospital and they gave her some crutches. It’s been a week and the swelling has completely gone down and she’s able to walk without her crutches. She called me today while at work and asked me to drive her to the hospital tonight after work (and wait with her because her foot hurts again). I have a majo assignment due for school this week and need to spend time doing working. I told her I could drive her there but couldn’t wait with her She’s now upset with me that I wouldn’t take her pain more seriously. I’m confused as to why she can’t get an Uber and or ask a friend..AITA?,AITA for not offering to wait with my Flatmate at the hospital?,NTA
10vlpr4,"My only child, 11 year old son, has the schizoid personality disorder and thus doesn't like being the center of attention.Yesterday night, we were having a big dinner will all of our families, including my husband’s parents, siblings, nieces and nephews, and my own.Everything was going fine until no one was talking. Naturally, to initiate a conversation, my husband decided to ask my son about school, causing my son to smile awkwardly and look down, not saying anything. He was obviously uncomfortable so I glared at my husband and said it wasn’t important. We just talked about something else after that, but I couldn’t help but notice my son looking like he was about to cry. However, I never said anything because I knew he wouldn’t like it if I asked him stuff like “Are you okay?” at that time, as everyone’s attention would be on him then.After everyone left, my son came to me noticeably upset. Teary, he told me that he felt uncomfortable and embarrassed in front of everyone and that he didn’t like it (he never specified what ‘it’ was but I’m sure you understand), so I told him I’d talk to his father.Later that night, I scolded my husband for making our son feel that way, especially knowing about his disorder, and told him to apologize to him the next day. He told me he was just trying to help him, that I was overreacting and that it wasn’t a big deal, which made me mad, and we got into a fight, with me calling him an 'asshole'. Now he's ignoring me and demanding an apology.Am I the asshole?",AITA for scolding my husband for making our son uncomfortable?,YTA
10vwnsu,Me (24m) and my gf (22f) have been together for over 2 years. Towards the beginning of the relationship my gf was talking about a friend of hers that looked through her boyfriends phone and we both agreed that it's an unhealthy thing to do and we would never do that. Recently my gf asked if she would be able to look through my phone. I asked her why and pointed out the previous conversation. She said she thinks I've been acting differently and she wants to make sure that I'm not hiding anything. My best friend has been going through something and I'm one of the only people he's told about what he's going through so I've been helping him so I didn't want my girlfriend looking through my phone because it's breaking the trust that my friend has in me. I told my gf we could talk about how she thinks I've been acting differently but that I don't want to let her look through my phone. She accused me of hiding something and asked why I wouldn't do this for her. I pointed out we both agreed it was unhealthy so we should just talk about what's got her to want to check my phone and see if we can talk through that. She refused and again asked to see my phone.AITA for not letting my gf look through my phone?,AITA for not letting my girlfriend look through my phone?,NTA
10vrp05,"I 27F am getting married soon. Due to budget constraints my fiancé and I decided to not give plus 1s to friends and co workers. I order to cut cost , we decided to seat friends from the same friend group together so that they can mingle with each other and the same concept applied to colleagues. I have this one friend let’s call him John (28M)We went to the same university together and I only have one other friend from uni besides him that I’m inviting, let’s call her Jill 32F. Even though they don’t know each other well I decided I will seat them together at a table (with other persons as well 8 persons per table) because I know them from the same place. I know some people may be weird about the no plus ones thing so I contact them b4 I sent out invites and asked them if they are ok with the no plus ones thing and if they will be able to come. Jill said no problem, she’s single anyway so wasn’t planning on bringing anyone and thanked me for the invite. John on the other hand (also single and not seeing anyone) didn’t mention that not having a plus 1 is a problem, but he stated that he may come but he’s not sure if he might and that “according to his mood” he will know. I have so much going on and I really don’t have time for all that. I have family I grew up with that I can’t invite because I’m sticking to a 2 person per household for extended family(big family and things will get out of control quickly) I fully well understand being in a funk and not being able to show up for friends and I 100% respect that. I constantly put other people 1st and I’m always considerate. But this is my and my fiancé’s wedding for God’s sake ,I don’t have time to coddle John.Today he asked me if I sent out the invites yet and I said yes. I told him that I’m extremely overwhelmed right now and that if he’s coming to tell me and and I will arrange his invite and seating. He told me to “not worry about it” (meaning don’t bother to send his invite)I sent a voice note asking him not to feel any type of way and again told him that I am under a lot of pressure right now and I don’t have time to fuss over every guest and that I need to prioritise myself right now.  Was he was dismissive and said , “like I said before don’t worry about it”I left it at that and didn’t respond AITA?",AITA for not inviting my close friend to my wedding,NTA
10vplz3,"AITA For refusing to buy a bridesmaid dress? I was invited to be a bridesmaid for a friend's wedding. She's a very close friend and has known me since childhood and I was happy to be her bridesmaid. She had also chosen one of her work colleagues to be the maid of honor. Problems started to arise when the bride took us to go pick out the dresses. She wanted orange and purple dresses that cost about 250 dollars. The dress was very ugly and I tried to talk her into changing the dress colors but she believed it matched the theme of the wedding which, it did not. She had her heart set on it so I tried to let it go, but I couldn't. All the bridesmaids for the wedding and the maid of honor were planning a surprise for the bride, so we had created a group chat for it without the bride of course. I brought up my problem with the dress-up in the group chat and it was received well by most. Many of the women said they didn't like the dress choice but it made the bride happy so they didn't want to say anything. The maid of honor however was angry that I was trying to talk about this behind the bride's back and when I suggested bringing the dress problem up to the bride, She said I should back off. We were going to buy the dresses in 2 days and I surely am not wearing that so I brought this up to the bride and she wasn't happy, She asked me to just wear it for her special day, but I'm not spending over 250 dollars on a repulsive dress I might as well wear once and then throw away. The wedding is in two weeks and the bride hasn't spoken to me since then. so AITA?????",AITA Bridesmaid dress dilemma,YTA
10vg5ui,"I have COVID and am having respiratory distress. I can't stand without fainting. My heart rate is 160 and it's hard to breathe. I can't care for my 2 year old. My husband will get fired if he calls in to care for our daughter and me. I asked MIL for help and she said she would watch her for one night but no more for husband to drop her off at bedtime and pick her up first thing in the morning (he works night shift). It just isn't much help. I'm really sick. We're lucky to get her to watch our kid once every few months while she watches SIL son OVERNIGHT 1-2 times per week. My daughter isn't difficult. Everytime MIL watches her she talks about how much easier of a child she is than nephew. But still if we ask a week in advance for her to watch our daughter she'll say stuff like ""oh I was thinking about watching nephew that day. I hadn't decided but I'll probably be watching him"" I haven't said anything about this to her but I was trying to talk to my husband about it and he said it's fine and we should just take what we can get. I don't have the air to argue but I just wanna know if I'm in the wrong here. I might be TA because it's our kid abd not her job to keep her but I feel like she is TA for her blatant favoritism and unwillingness to help us when we need her most.",AITA for pointing out MILs blatant favoritism?,NTA
10vlu7s,"I (28M) got a job offer in another state that has great pay and great benefits. My wife (31F) is ready to move our two kids for the opportunity. However, my parents say we “support you” then go into a long explanation how my mother is depressed and would be devastated if we moved her grandkids away and how my father stepped down from his role to have more time with the grandkids. We’re moving either way because it’s what’s best for my family but AITA for moving them away?",AITA for wanting to move my family away from their grandparents for a new job,NTA
10vwady,"Sorry for spelling or grammar errors, i usually just read posts on here. I (f21) yelled at my (step) little sister (f16) for the first time today. For context, my (m19) (step) brother has a girlfriend (f20). From the day that I met her I've been courteous and kind. From asking her how her da went, to consoling her when my brother and her hit a bump or any other issues for that matter. I have never once disrespected her and even thought of her as another addition to the family.Now a few months after I meet her, I hear from my little sister that GF is saying some things behind my back. For starters, my sister was complaining about our room, it was a mess because I had been too depressed to clean up after myself, although I still tried, I acknowledge it wasn't nearly enough. GF then responds to this with ""I would've already kicked her out"". Regardless I stay cordial, when she comes over I say hi, and I ask her if I can server her a plate of food and treat her with overall too much hospitality that I feel she deserves. I never confronted GF because LS says ""GF told me that in private and confidence and if you tell her I won't talk to you ever again"". They have a good relationship and there's no reason for theirs to be rocky just cause ours is. The subject came up again tonight and LS suggested I forgive her, and I told her ""I'll be respect her but I won't forgive her, trying to get my only family left to kick me out is so green."" LS then tried to further push the concept and I snapped at her. I understand she meant no harm but at the moment I felt a bit antagonized, I'm not sure why but it sent a surge of rage through me. I yelled at her and she got upset at me and kicked me out of her room, put all my stuff out in the hall and blocked me on all socials. I told SM about this about 2 hours later and we had a talk and I apologized to LS and told her it was wrong for me to yell at her and LS says ""yeah I'm a kid I shouldn't have to deal with a 21 y/o's shit and I agree you could've handled it better and now you don't have a room because of it"". I do feel so bad for yelling at her and I know she meant no harm in her advice and I know I blew it completely put of proportion and I apologized and told her exactly that but I  feel that she's being way too harsh on me. Maybe I'm being toxic idk... so reddit AITA.SUMMARY:I(f21) yelled at my (f16) little (step)sister for implying multiple times that I forgive my (m19)'s GF(f20) for trying to get me kicked out the house, saying I'm abusive towards my cat when I'm not and would never be abusive towards him and excluding me from events simply because. When I've never disrespected her and thought of her as a friend or even another sister.",AITA for yelling at my little sister?,ESH
10vlc4t,I (17m) asked my sister (13f) to clean up the blood  in the bathroom after her period and she blew up at me. She says I should be more considerate of “women's needs” and I shouldn’t get in her business about it. I understand this is something she can’t help but at the same time I don’t think it’s my responsibility to pick up after her. When I talked to my parents about it and they agree with me but won’t do anything to make her pick up after herself. AITA?Edit: I should’ve specified what I asked her to clean. She leaves blood soaked rags and tampons on the floor. I put a trash can in there for her to use but she still uses the floor I use the guest bathroom now because ours has become too bloody to use. I bought her a trash can to use but she took offense to it and continued using the floor. I really don’t know what to do now.,AITA For asking my sister to clean the bathroom after her period?,NTA
10vogxj,"I don’t mind doing laundry. I started doing my own laundry when I was about 15 or 16 so I could have my favorite clothes ready for school. In college I did all my own laundry. After college I lived alone for many years and always did my own laundry.I’m married now and we have two kids. Obviously that means a lot of dirty clothes. The way my wife does laundry is maddening to me and I want to know if I’m being an asshole, or if my refusal makes sense.The laundry machines are in the basement and the washer and dryer are not adjacent. There’s about 15 feet between the two. Dumb, I know, but the way the basement is set up is not going to change anytime soon. In my mind, this is the proper way to do the laundry. You fill up one basket, take it down and place all of the clothes in the washer. The basket sits by the washer and waits. When the wash is done, you use the basket to transport the wet clothes to the dryer. The basket stays by the dryer and waits. When the dryer is done you bring up the dry clothes in the basket and fills and put them away. A few key points. I only fill up enough for one load per basket and the basket travels with the load. I also try to fills the clothes as soon as possible so they don’t get wrinkly.My wife does laundry differently. The method sometimes changes but it basically goes like this. She will fill up a basket with as many clothes as possible. That often means there’s too many clothes for one load. Some of the clothes go in the washer and some stay in the basket. To transfer the wash to the dryer, she just grabs handfuls and walks them over to the dryer. Takes a few trips to transfer a load. So now there’s two loads of laundry and one basket. Add others loads using the same method and you end up with no baskets downstairs to bring up the laundry.So many times I go down to get laundry and just have to walk back upstairs to find a basket. Or there are no empty baskets because all of them are half full of dirty clothes. Just tonight i went down and there’s a load in the wash, a load in the dryer, and two baskets with clothes in them but I’m not sure if they’re dirty or clean. It just makes no sense to me and is such a bad system that I have just given up.I still do laundry, but only if I start and finish it. I refuse to help her unless it’s actually upstairs and ready for folding. So am I the asshole?",AITA for refusing to help with the laundry?,YTA
10vrz5k,"I was 17 and worked hard to save money to go to one of my favorite concerts. My sister was upset that she didn’t get to go and whines to my mom. She tells my mom that it wasn’t fair that I get to go to a concert and go out of town for my spring break while her dad wouldn’t give her money for her spring break and she didn’t get to do anything.My mother tells me how selfish I am that I didn’t buy a ticket for her too. I had a phone bill I was paying and worked hard to save that money. My mom tells me if your sister can’t go you can’t go either. It’s not fair. I was pissed because I took time off work for that and worked hard for that money. I said, “It’s not my fault my sisters dad is a dead beat and won’t do anything for her. She is your responsibility financially, not mine.”I was in trouble and I wasn’t allowed to go out for three days. I was angry because I worked so hard for that money. Maybe I did go too far talking about her father. AITA?For clarity: I’m 21 now! I was 17 when this happened !",AITA for spoiling myself?,NTA
10viihj,"My brother (17, lets call him K) is heavily autistic, he basically had the mindset of a 4 year old. My sister (15, let's call her F) is like me; neurotypical. I am a bit older than my siblings and have decided to keep living at home because my brother doesn't like to be away from me; So, for now, I live with my parents and help them look after him.​My brother is quite friendly , he giggles a lot, likes to clap and jump.​ I understand why my sister never explained to her friends about the extent of our brother's disabilities; she is very introverted, unlike me, and struggled to make friends for a long time. She assumed that people would find her weird for having an autistic brother and I don't pry into it too much because I don't want to be mean to my little sister.​Anyway, when her friends came over yesterday, I explained to her friends explicitly to not do anything mean or anagonise K; I warned them that if they upset him he might react badly, and I told them that it would  be best to not speak to him at all as he doesn't like strangers.​They listened and I thought everything was fine; I went into the kitchen with my parents and expected F and her 5 friends to have the maturity to just stay in her room or come and get snacks from the kitchen and watch a movie. ​I heard K screaming a while later so I ran upstairs and my sister and her friends (lets call the one friend who spoke E) were standing over my brother in his room, whilst he was screaming and crying on the floor. He was  screaming and I had to hug him to calm him down. E was snickering.​I asked E ""what was so funny"" and she asked me ""why is he crying like that?""​My sister was standing there in silence and I was so angry because I didn't understand why my sister would make fun of her brother for some random friends she met outside.​"" what did you do?"" I asked to them and E kept looking at me funny before she said, ""we turned off the cartoons on his tv cause they were too loud and we tried to get him to watch something age appropriate."" K is capable of putting youtube baby cartoons  on his tv and he loves them. I was  confused why they even cared about the ""age appropriateness"" of a cartoon that they weren't watching???​""This is why you didnt let us come to your house before, right?"" E was talking to F like I wasn't in the room  and I finally snapped.​I told her friends to ""get out"" and that they ""could come back when they knew how to mind their own business""​Her friends all stormed off home and my sister was crying and begging them not to leave. When they all left my sister went into her room and slammed the door and hasn't spoken to since.​My parents are on my side but I fear I've done irreversible damage to my sister's friendships.​AITA???","AITA for telling my sister's friends to ""get out""?",NTA
10vh14l,"I (29f) am dating my boyfriend (38) for 1,5 years. I am an immigrant from a 3rd world country, and he was born here. It is a prosperous country in Europe. I am here for a bit more than 4 years, graduated (my 2nd education) and found a full-time job in the IT industry where I work now.In the beginning of our relationship it was the opposite financial situation- I was  basically surviving and having money just for the basics. He paid for food for both of us but I refused to take his money (he offered once). Then the situation changes to the opposite exactly a year ago. I graduated and finally landed a good job. I am getting a good salary, and if I would have lived alone - it would have been a good life. But for 2 people money is barely enough for the necessities and I can\`t spend on what brings me joy or pay off my debt on time.He started having serious back problems the same month I land the job. He couldn’t walk or get up properly for a while. I took care of all of the chores and finances on myself, except I am not paying rent as the unemployment office (if this is how it’s called) is paying for him, I have my own place. He has 2 kids from a previous relationship and I gave them money when he didn’t have any. After a while I started feeling exhausted as I did everything while working and as he started feeling better, his mood somehow got only worse. We started arguing much more frequently and I noticed he started drinking alcohol quite often. He is using some… drug substances as well. I am against it but he has to make this decision by himself. The fact is that after he gets home drunk after drinking with his buddies at the kiosk nearby (almost daily lately), we almost always get into an argument, is rude to me and apologizes the next day. We were juggling back and forth- he was stepping one step forward and two back. I also told him that I will not be able to support him soon as I go into minus. I tried to set boundaries, not always successfuly but tried to be more consistent lately. Conflicts between us worsened since then.I have reached a point last week when I have had enough.He saw me in the last minute by the door with all my things packed. Got really mad and didn’t let me explain anything. I tried to explain that I see it as a pause, not as a break up- until he finds a job and his joy of life will start coming back. He told me he is very disappointed that I am leaving him alone when he needs my help and that I shouldn’t contact him again. I was very upset, as I still had hope that this situation will push him to start taking care of himself. He still called after this a few times and we even met up for a very short time what ended into arguments, so I am back to my place and we don\`t talk or chat.I feel sometimes that it was the right decision, as well as sometimes I do feel guilty and sorry for him.AITA?",AITA for refusing to continue financially supporting my boyfriend who is unemployed for a year?,NTA
10vjkyb,"I (23m) recently just got engaged to my now fiancé (28m). I decided that i want to take my fiancé's last name. My mum is pretty upset with it and really doesn't want me too.For context why, I have my mums last name. My dad was a deadbeat so when he left mum changed my last name to hers. Mum has 3 other kids, 2 with the same last name as their dad and 1 with my step dads last name. Even after getting married she kept her last name because she didnt want me to feel like im not a part of the family. Now that im getting married and changing my name shes upset she will be the only one with her last name. AITA?",AITA for wanting to take my fiancé's last name and upsetting my mum,NTA
10vkbi4,"AITA for deciding to not attend my brother’s destination wedding?Background: My brother has, over the past year, met and proposed to his girlfriend (now wife) in Turkey. They have spent a total of 4 weeks together in person. He has tried to get her to Canada on a visitor’s visa, and been denied twice. This past month he married her (quick paper-signing ceremony which we FaceTimed in for)Now they are applying for a spousal visa. To be honest, it’s all a bit quick to my mind, but they seem happy, and she seems like a nice person so I’m trying to be supportive, in spite of my concerns. (He’s never been the most accommodating person in his past relationships. He lives alone and likes things HIS way. She’s never set foot in Canada, and has married him and agreed to move here. )My family thinks I am just being negative and unsupportive, so I keep those concerns to myself now. The immediate problem lies with the reception he is planning for the summer. He would like everyone in our immediate family and some close friends, to come to Turkey. For my husband and I, this meant putting our own long-planned honeymoon off yet again -  (my husband and I got married in a simple ceremony at the height of covid and put off our honeymoon due to travel restrictions at the time)At first we said yes, but in the pricing out of the trip, we will need to blow all of our hard-saved honeymoon money and then some. We can’t take too much time off work, so we would, essentially be spending anywhere from $4-7K to parachute in for 3-4 days. On top of this, my brother has been a bit of an asshole - treating us like an inconvenience when we asked for details (more than the date and the city - like, what neighbourhood should we stay in, what hotels are good/not so good, where is the ceremony, what time of day? I know these are not unreasonable things to ask as I’ve been married twice myself!). It has culminated in a fight, where he stopped speaking to me. To date, he’s not said a word to me for 3 weeks. Typically we would text most days. So we’re deciding not to go. I feel terribly guilty but I don’t know if I should….help!",AITA for refusing my brother’s destination wedding?,NTA
10vt7md,"  I have been diagnosed with young onset Parkinson's disease in 2004 when my kids were only 2and 5. As the years have gone by, nearly 20 years i have a problem brushing my hair and teeth every day and also showering every day. Do i have a valid reason as these seemingly tasks are monumental to me.It is truly difficult to take care of yourself by yourself. Parkinson's steals  our self esteem",AITA if I don't brush my teeth every day,NTA
10vg9rp,"I’ve been living with my in laws for the past 2 years and we’ve all (mil, fil, husband and I ) have been on multiple weekend getaways together. We had also planned inter city and international travels together but got cancelled for some or the other reason ( not me refusing to go) I’ve been on a weekend getaway with them just 2 months back. I was reluctant, but my husband convinced me so I went along. Now my in laws want to go on a trip and my husband without asking me said yes to them. I just don’t want to go on another trip, coz a) I just went but my husband doesn’t consider that a “trip” since it was only a weekend; andB) I just don’t gel with my in laws that well from my end. At home we are all doing our own thing, but on a trip ( which is an international trip for 6 NIGHTS) is too much of them to handle. For me. I don’t want to speak for them.Even on these weekend trips my husbands notices I am usually quiet and I don’t even speak with him much. We ended up fighting coz I refused to go. He’s calling me selfish and rude coz he really wants yo go and I am refusing.I told my husband to go without me. Is it really that bad?! I would go with my parents alone if he didn’t want to come. I know his parents won’t care as much as long as my husband goes. Makes sense, he’s their son.","AITA for refusing on going on a trip with my in-laws, when I just went on one 2 months back?",NTA
10vne8x,"Myself and friends 1+2+3 have had a lot of good times. Skiing, biking, travelling etc. I introduced them all to each other about \~3 years ago. The've been my core group of friends and we're all living far from home.I've a tendancy to want to help people do things I think they should do and I often get overly excited about doing it. Since friend 3 moved here, I've helped him:Get a car. Find a house to buy. Get a new bike, followed by bikes 2-4 as he got better and wanted upgrades. Get a job with my employer. Get an upgrade on his phone. With snowboarding and getting all the right gear.I tend to pester people about this. Especially if they say how ""overwhelmed"" they are or how ""nothing ever goes right for them"". That's bait to me.I found out I have ADHD about two years ago, bought a house needing renovations six hours away with no real way to pay it off. Bought and sold \~15 cars, purely as I get bored of them. Travel as much as I can and often rack up debt in doing so. Take liberty with working remotely by skiing or collecting home reno supplies from far away.I can be wreckless and annoying to someone with a contrasting personality.I've REALLY been working on this for the past two years.The problems arose when friend 3 didn't do his part:The car was an enthusiast one, but he didn't do preventative maintenance and it's constantly let him down. My identical car had been faultless. My house turned out to be a lucrative buy and he could have bought the house across the street for similar money to me. He took too long to think about it and a cash offer was accepted a few days later. He made money on each of the bikes he bought, but each had issue that arose with them from lack of maintenance. He got the job, hated it and left two years later. He followed me snowboarding onto a jump where he went way faster and hurt himself. I brought him to hospital (everyone else said it was bruising). Stayed with him for the night and he had a broken pelvis. I'm blamed for all of the above.9 months ago, my phone contract ended. He was a line on my account. I found a new monthly deal where we'd be paying 1/3 of our existing rate, he just had to buy out his contract. He didn't like his phone, so gave it to his mom and used his old phone (blamed me for recommending it). I offered to pay it and he'd pay the same as his existing rate until I was paid back (still saving money).This pushed him over the edge and he swore he wouldn't talk to me again. I messaged him saying ""I still wanted to be friends"". Friends 1 and 2 have stepped back and said ""it's between you two"" as they want to see it as ""six of one, half a dozen of the other"". Every time I left town to work on my house, they'd meet up knowing they could just say I ""wasn't around"".For the last nine months I've been pretty alone, with friend 1 and 2 sharing less about their lives with me. AITA?",AITA because I pushed my friend into making decisions?,ESH
10vvemh,"I have a friend (20F) that I met at group therapy back in the summer. She was having issues with her dad not being there and having a new family, she seemed nice but broken. I kinda related so I talked to her for a few days and we swapped numbers. She quit going to therapy a few weeks later.She uses me as an emotional dumping ground, every single day. For every problem in her life and undealt with childhood trauma. It’s almost like she can’t think for herself, she comes to me with everything. Whether it’s problems with herself, her dad, problems with her mom, problems with relatives, problems with people online, etc. It’s getting to be too much. I’ve also found out per her sister that she made up several stories to me, about what her mom or dad said to her and just her general home life. She portrays her parents as horrific people. They are pretty lenient and very few expectations. She grew up spoiled and got whatever she wanted which is the opposite of what she told me. (Her parents aren’t millionaires but upper middle class) She’s made up horrible stories about them and situations with relatives that never happened, accused her relatives of doing things they never did. She posted pictures with the relatives in question. But she said they stopped talking years ago. She tried to play it off as old pictures, when it’s clearly recent. If I call her out on a lie, she covers it up with another lie. Always has a story ready to go. She doesn’t get along with people on social media and portrays herself to be this extremely arrogant wealthy person, who travels all the time, who parties all the time, she brags about everything she has, she pretends to be on vacations and pretends she flies private, pretends her parents are millionaires, she even goes by a fake name and location. She comes to me with what people are saying about her, everyday. None of it is positive, yet she feeds off of the negativity and she says awful things back about them and makes fun of them. I have asked her why she keeps doing it and she gets mad and tells me to stay out of it. She’s been doing that everyday for months.I feel like it’s the same stuff, different day. I have given her numbers for help in our area, I have given her links to self help books, I have suggested going back to therapy. I have tried to be a supportive friend, she gets mad when I say anything positive about her. She’s so wrapped up in the social media drama that she created. Either that or drama at home which is also of her doing. She ignores what I have to say when I try to give advice and keeps going on and on about the same things. She will send me text after text, if I don’t answer. Keep calling my phone. Get mad at me if I say I’m busy. If I tell her about anything in my life, she ignores it and talks about hers. It’s very one sided convos and it’s been like that for a while now. She has turned into a pretentious bully, it’s not the same girl I met back in the summer.","WIBTA if I made up a lie about dealing with family issues to my friend, as a reason to end the friendship?",NTA
10vnb9k,"TLDR: I feed feral cats, my neighbor doesn't like it and is leaving bags of cat poop on my property.I moved into my current house - a duplex - in March of 2020. There was a colony of feral cats that hung out on the property, and the previous tenant left food and water out for them, especially during the hot Phoenix summers. Houses up and down the street do the same thing; there are at least like six colonies on our street. So I've kept up feeding them and grown to like them - they're cute and entertaining. My duplex neighbor, who lives in a converted garage behind my house, also feeds them.Late last year, a new family moved in next door, and the owner doesn't like cats. He asked me if I would stop feeding them, because he was allergic and he didn't like cats near his house.I told him I'd think about it, but that lots of houses on this block feed them, and they weren't likely to just go away if I stopped. They've been here longer than us. I'm not inclined to stop feeding them.Since then, I've found several bags full of cat poop on my front porch. My duplex neighbor who lives behind me also found a bag of cat poop apparently thrown over the fence.Am I being an asshole?​EDITED TO ADD: The cats had their ears tipped when we moved in. Since then, we found a few new ones and attempted to Trap/neuter/release but weren't successful. I have a friend who is a veterinarian and I consult with her.EDITED AGAIN: My local SPCA doesn't pick up feral cats, as far as I can tell. ",AITA: Feeding feral cats,YTA
10vjs3d,"I (18F) have recently moved out of my mums house. She lives at home with my two younger brothers. I moved out and moved 300 miles away for university, however I have since dropped out but I decided to stay in the area and move into my boyfriends house (he lives near the uni I went to). My mum has been sick for some time now. She has fibromyalgia and some other conditions, as well as having to look after my two younger siblings who both have behavioural issues. She’s a strong woman and I do feel sorry for her. Since moving in with my boyfriend, I have started a new job and began a new life here. However, my mum has recently had to have some tests as she has suspected cancer. Since then, she has been on my back about me moving back up to her home and wanting me to move back in so I can help her, as if she was to be diagnosed with cancer, she would need a lot of help. I understand this, but I have started a new life here and I do not want to drop everything to help her. All of my family live near her, including my older brother who still lives at home. My brother works and lives at home rent free. He is expected to do no housework, and if she asks him to do something, he always says no and she just accepts it? Why does he not have to help but I do, despite being so far away.  I don’t understand why she’s putting so much pressure on me to move back home when she has a lot of people to help her anyway. If I was to move back home, she would want me to cook, clean and do all the childcare. I would not be able to have my own life, not even a job. I have only recently turned 18, and I don’t wanna waste my early adulthood on this. I am more than happy to help her. Since moving out, I still do childcare. I sit and play games with my brothers via FaceTime and even send money as gifts for them. During the school holidays, I can even offer a place for my brothers to stay if they wanna come down and spend some time with me for the week and give my mum a break. I do not know what to do, and I don’t know if this makes me incredibly selfish or not. She’s putting a lot of pressure on me. She hasn’t even got a diagnosis yet. I know it can be a scary time for anyone. The sheer anticipation of waiting for the test results must be awful. This is the second time she’s had to go through this, the first time luckily didn’t amount to anything, and wasn’t cancer. Every time she gets a letter in the post from the doctor, she sends a picture to me, like she’s trying to get it to stick it my head that she might have cancer. Almost like she’s trying to scare me. She reminds me almost everyday, sending texts that’s she might have cancer. It’s making me very stressed, and I do not want my family to hate me for not moving back up to help. AITA?",AITA for not moving back home to help my sick mother?,NTA
10vwphc," I recently found out that my friend (Sarah) is dating a friend of a friend (Michael). I do not like Michael. Sarah told me that she is dating Michael, and upon seeing my shocked face was very curious to know what I knew about him. I told her about my previous experiences with him, some things and interactions I didn’t like, etc. I also told her that I think my opinion of him shouldn’t influence her too much and that people change for the better and to see where it goes and form her own opinions.I mentioned everything above to a couple close friends, and they both said that although I didn’t do anything wrong, they personally would have said as little as possible, and just let Sarah form her own opinions. I also know that Michael would be absolutely pissed if/when he finds out that I said anything about him. I feel justified saying what I said because if describing Michael’s actions and behaviors makes him look like a shitty/undesirable person, well, maybe he is a shitty person, and I don’t owe it to him to try and hide that fact from others. I do feel a little bad for Michael though, because I don’t know him super well and because people can change and should have some opportunity for fresh starts. But I also think it’s kinda girl/friend code to tell your friend what you know, if they want to know, about the person they’re seeking a relationship with.",AITA for telling my friend information about the guy (who I also know) she just started dating?,NTA
10vqnes,"I know it sounds terrible, but let me explain first. For context, my mom is an alcoholic as she has been throughout my whole life. A few weeks ago, she got so drunk that she fell right on her arm and broke it (This isn’t the first time she’s broken a bone over drinking too much alcohol) It was late & i got awoken by her screaming bloody murder and tried to help her off the floor because i didn’t know what was wrong. She started screaming obscenities at me and just being really mean and loud, overstimulated and panicking i left and hid in my room as my brother and my moms bf tried to help her. She did the same thing to them. I then hear her yelling across the house that we don’t give a fuck about her and how she hates us and wants us all dead and we never checked on her, and it really upset me because obviously all of us tried to help. her boyfriend tried explaining that we did in fact check on her, but she was being delusional. I yelled at her boyfriend and told her this is exactly why he needs to make sure she’s more responsible with alcohol, and i told my mom if i didn’t care about her i wouldn’t be standing there (at this point i was in the kitchen and they were on the couch and my living room is next to my kitchen) My mom then randomly brought up my father (deceased) and told me that on valentine’s day before he died, he got her a dozen roses, 6 dead because their love was “half alive because she decided to keep us” i absolutely lost it at that point. at that point i probably blacked out from rage and blew off on her. she hid under the covers and didn’t say anything after i was done. I told her she was awful for that and she had no reason to bring up my dad like that & basically called her out for being a raging alcoholic and that’s why my dad probably left(it’s kinda blurry i just know i was really mean) Since my mom broke her arm, Shes been asking me to do things i'm uncomfortable with, such as changing her and wiping her ass. If i refuse it, she makes me feel awful and says ""oh i get it all my kids hate me and are gonna put me in a nursing home one day."" She doesn’t ask my twin brother anything, and I think it's because he told her she needs to learn how to do shit by herself, as he has had a broken arm before and has trained himself to use his other hand for tasks and writing. Or maybe it’s just plain favoritism or i’m her favorite target to pick on because she feels like she can get a reaction out of me. She keeps asking me why I have an attitude and i’ve stayed silent, but the truth is i don’t want to be around her. Being around her gets me in a really bad mood and it’s just really draining. I’ve thrown myself into work just to get out of the house because being around her is bad for my mental health. She probably knows it and likes to start shit which is why she won’t leave me alone.",AITA for getting angry when my narcissist mom (with a broken arm) asks me for help?,NTA
10vsm0z,I (22f) just got engaged last year. I never was a person that wanted a wedding as I don’t want to deal with the stress and money. However my fiancé wanted a wedding so we agreed to have one and I’m trying to make it the best we can both enjoy. When I was deciding to chose my moh I was stuck between two friends for privacy reasons I won’t use real names friend “A” (22f) has known me for almost 10 years and recently moved away 5ish hrs away. Friend “B” (40f) is a coworker and we became really good friends and have a like a motherly/daughter but also friend kinda of friendship. I see a moh as not only someone who is close to me but who will be there for me every step of the way and take stress of me of wedding planning and really take on the role and knowledgeable. Because  what I saw the role of moh doing I chose friend B. I love friend A but she won’t be available as much to plan or be there in big moments like dress shopping. I sent a message when friend A asked me who I chose and I explained to her my reasons and how I love her but I really need the most support as I am really bad with stress and overthinking. She said okay but since then she keeps asking me over and over again if she’s the maid of honor and my friend matron instead which I didn’t want to do as they both don’t know each other very well and having to juggle between both of them and keeping them updated and the same page seemed to much stressful for me. I kept declining and sweetly reminding that friend B is my moh. Today she asked again during a call and I jokingly said “girl i told you so many time lol” and again said friend B is my moh. She just said “just making sure!” And I told her to give me a second and I guess she thought I was away from my phone and started to talk to her mom about how I didn’t choose her but she can’t say anything to me because it’s my choice and how I asked her to me my moh and I changed my mind which is not true I said I was thinking between her and friend “B” but I didn’t have a decision yet at the time. And I just feel bad because I felt like I let her and her family down when I’ve known them for a long time. Everyone thought I was going to chose her because she’s known me longer and I guess I thought being a moh was much more than who knows you longer and has a important role. Did I make a mistake? So AITA for not choosing my friend of ten years to me my moh?,AITA for not choosing my best friend of 10 yrs to be my moh?,NTA
10vwn59,I’m 21. This was when I was working at Walmart last year. My mom and stepdad always tried to pawn my siblings off on me so they could go out and do whatever and didn’t care about what I had to do. They called me at work and asked if I could use my paid protected time off(which is limited and hard to build up considering you only get 48 hours per year of it) I said no and they got upset and said Im the big sister that I should be willing to help. That I should drop whatever I’m doing to help my siblings bc they raised me and that I owe it to them. That’s when I got upset and said “You’re just lazy and never parented your kids and expected everyone else to do it for you. I’m not leaving work. I need the money so I can get my own apartment to get away from this environment.”Later that day I got texts from family telling me I’m selfish and should care about my brother more. I was receiving messages telling me I’m a bad daughter and that I don’t care about my brother! AITA?Update I moved out of my moms months ago.,AITA for refusing to leave work to watch my brother?,NTA
10vwlu4,"I'm 27F. The guys in my group often post ""funny"" videos about women saying ""stupid stuffs"" then they'll insult the woman in the video, calling them dumb etc. They never post any ""funny"" videos about men, only women.When I see that I somehow get irritated. I can't really explain how or why.. I usually get irritated the most when a girl there also say things like ""stupid bitch"" to the woman in the video. I keep wondering ""You're also a woman, why would you do that""But when I say my opinion, they'll dismiss me. They said that I'm too overly sensitive.Am I the asshole here that I get irritated?",AITA for getting annoyed at guys making fun of girls on a video,NTA
10vv127,"I do not mean any disrespect to anyone, and I do love her a lot. I'm (23M) in law school currently, in August I will start my master's from a very reputed law school in a different city that offers considerably well paying jobs. I am expected to do well after this. Right now i live with my Family, which is just my parents and my sister (25f) , My Girlfriend (23f) lives with her extended family of 30+ people. My girlfriend has never been academically well to do, She still got into a local college and got a simple BA degree, which is pretty much useless to be perfectly honest. All offers she got were low paying jobs which were even open to High School Graduates as well so she declined them. It has been 2 years since she graduated, she does give the exam for MBA entrance, but different people have different skills and this just isn't something she's good at. Whenever I've brought it up it has led to arguments so I've stopped talking about her career and have accepted it. She does work around the house , cooking and cleaning and decorating. She is really good at cooking and makes everything that i like to eat really well, even better than my mother. She's made it clear to me and her parents that she doesn't like living with such a big family, and when i got the good news that i am accepted for masters we celebrated and a few days later she tells me that she has a surprise , her parents have agreed to let her go with me for my master's. We'd get an apartment for a year and live together. But the thing is, i never asked her for this. I don't earn any money as of now. Internship stipends are not even enough to cover personal expenses like going out shopping and fuel, even then i end up asking money from my father every now and then. Again i do love her and will be marrying her, but that's after i get a job. I haven't talked to my father about this yet, i know what he is going to say. He isn't sending me there to party and try new things in my relationship,  this is an opportunity for me to improve my skills and worth In society.  Living alone i can manage on a very tight budget, also don't want to like put her in a situation where she has to live on a tight budget when there is no need for it. My sister said to me that i am a horrible person for even thinking this way and if i love her I'll take her with me everywhere, but when i asked her to pay for us she made a horrible joke and walked away, typical of her. I am going to tell my girlfriend that it's not possible and she'd have to wait till I get a job. Am I the asshole for not wanting to ask my parents to pay for a separate apartment and expenses of two people for a whole year?",AITA if i decline an offer to live with my girlfriend?,YTA
10vgvr8,"I (29F) have been seeing this client (25M) for about 18 months now. When we started, he was very overweight. He made great progress and lost all that fat and is in a much better place now. About a year in, he started to start building abs, then his progress stalled then subsequently rapidly increased. I was very proud of him and thought he was doing a lot of work on his own, but this weekend he told me he’d been taking certain PEDs (the specific one he’s on is illegal though not really enforced). I was pretty disappointed to hear this and told him he needs to stop for his long-term health. He got very upset, said some not nice things, and that he’s not stopping. I can understand why he got emotional considering how he’s stalled, so I can forgive the stuff he’s said, but I told him I’d stop working with him unless he agreed to stop and take random tests. I mean he can always just find a trainer who is okay with this, though it won’t be at this studio, which he really likes. He’s not responded yet, but I was thinking, is he right, is it really my business? Am I being unreasonable? Thanks in advance.",AITA for threatening to drop my personal training client if he continues to use performance enhancing drugs?,NTA
10vrbjo,"So for some context, about a week ago my mom threw me out and I've been staying with my grandma ever since. I've been sleeping in her living room which doesn't allow for a lot of alone time until she goes to bed. My grandmother takes care of my second cousin N (27f) and my first cousin S (6f, not important to the story). Throughout N's mom's pregnancy, she smoke, drank, did drugs, etc. That caused N to be special needs and my grandmother took her in to raise her (N's mom didn't want her). She has a hard time understanding certain things (like she overstayed her welcome). Now onto the main event.So after watching some TV with my grandma, she heads to bed with S. N doesn't have a set bedtime, and neither do I. So after they head to bed N goes to her room for the night. I decide to go into the kitchen while my mattress blows up. I notice a mango close to rotting on the counter and decide to give it to her. I take the mango to her room and all is well. I return to the bed and get the idea to ""please"" myself and get to it. Abt halfway through I hear N coming down the hall and quickly stop. She goes to the kitchen to cut up the mango (she waited a long time before going to cut it up). Although irritated I understand that it was my fault for not cutting it for her or leaving it for the next day. I wait for her to finish until she comes freaking out because she cut up the mango after her eating curfew (she can't eat after 9, I didn't know this). So I calm her down and tell her to just put it in the fridge and eat it tomorrow. She puts it into the fridge and I expect her to go back to her room but she instead sits down on a nearby couch and starts a conversation. Even though Im still irritated I try to be nice and smile. She notices my discomfort and tells me she told grandma that she thinks I hate her (this isn't her first time randomly starting long conversations with me late at night but I never said anything). I decided to tell the truth. I told her that I don't hate her but enjoyed my alone time. I explain that it's not just a her thing, that I would feel this way abt anyone. She didn't understand and said, ""I get it but you came here so u and I could spend some time together"". This isn't true and when I first came here she was informed abt why I came here. I correct her and tell her that I'm not here to visit anyone, that I'm here because I had nowhere else to go. She started to cry and I started to raise my voice a little and said smth like ""I have a lot on my plate rn and I need my alone time!"". I know that I shouldn't have done that but at that point I just wanted her to leave. I calm down a little bit and restate my previous points in a nicer way and she begins to stop crying. She says she understands and leaves after saying gn. I feel rlly bad because I never meant to hurt her. I'm also scared she's going to tell my grandma and kick me out. So Reddit, AITA?",AITA for telling my disabled cousin to leave me alone?,YTA
10vmpmc,"I (34m) have two friends, Justin (42m) and Sarah(29f). Sarah and Justin have never met.I am close friends with both but neither have met the other. I’ve known Justin for ten years and I’ve known Sarah for about four months.Justin is the man I turn to whenever I amUpset or need support. Sarah and I have a similar relationship.Two weeks ago, Sarah and I got into a nasty fight. She lost her temper and threw some pretty bad insults my way. One of which involved why I was single. I’ve been single for a while and confided in her that it depressed me so for her to throw it at me hurt. A lot. I was so upset, that I didn’t eat the next day.First person I called was Justin. Naturally he was angry about what he heard. Justin called her toxic and told me I should never talk to her again.Well Sarah and I talked and made up. Yesterday Sarah asked me if she can come with me to Justin’s Super Bowl party. I said no because Justin doesn’t want her there after what I said. Sarah is upset I spoke about the fight to a third party. She said I slandered her.I may be TA because I told a friend about our private spat. But I see it as me seeking comfort from an independent friend.",AITA for getting a friend excluded from a superbowl party?,NTA
10vw9y5,"I (33f) have family in Italy but live in another European country (approximately 3000km’s away). My father is Italian and he and my mother go visit the country every year. I have a brother (40m) who is married to my SIL (37f) and they have 2 kids (10m and 7m). I am also married to my husband (34m) and we have also 2 kids (2f and a newborn baby boy). For me it has been 5 years that I had the possibility to go to Italy and visit my family. We were planning to go in 2020 but then covid came and the last 2 years, there were medical issues that Made it impossible to leave the country. My brother and his family visited Italy 2 times in the meanwhile. As everything is better for us medical wise, me and my husband are considering going to Italy this summer. My parents are also there and we always stay at their place (a 3 bedroom appartment with 1 bathroom). My parents are very excited that we are finally able to visit the country after such a long time. Our family living in Italy have never met our kids yet. This weekend my brother mentions that he is also planning to visit with his family and this during the same period as I was planning to. He told us that he has already booked the arrangements to take the trip. In all honesty, I don’t think it is feasible to stay with 10 people in the appartment. I told him this and he blew up on me and my mother that he will never visit Italy again. It Made me feel like the AH, but I was just trying to open up a conversation about it. So am I the AH?",AITA for not wanting to go on a vacation with my family?,NTA
10vjjxx,"I (20M) have decided I want to purchase a tarantula as a pet for some companionship during my times at college. I live in an apartment with 4 other guys (all of us have private bedrooms) and 3 of them are fine with me getting a tarantula, but the other one... not so much. He claims that the presence of a tarantula in the apartment would freak him out, and even though it would be in my own private room (and he would never have to see it), I am NOT allowed to get one. We are already getting some pet frogs and he loves that idea, but he will not allow me to get my own tarantula. AITA for getting one anyways?edit: I haven’t gotten the tarantula yet",AITA for getting a pet tarantula when my roommate has already said no,YTA
10vqp6u,"Sorry for any formatting issues, mobile is difficult to work with. I (15F) have a cousin (14F), we'll call her Ava, who typically comes to my room to gossip whenever they visit, then disappear until they have to leave. Throughout the last year or so, they've been ranting to me about how they were dating so and so, dumped them, started dating blah blah, rinse and repeat. These 'relationships' last a week at the very least. And every time, they always talk bad about their exes. Some of them, I understand. One guy who can't take a hint, cheating, etc. But then there's ones where Ava seems to be all over them, then treats them like a speck of dust. For example, she liked... let's say Ryan. She would gush over Ryan's hair, talk about nothing else, yet claims she loves him. Then suddenly, two weeks later, he's a monster the next time she comes to gossip. I honestly cannot grasp my head around the fact that they've dated well over 10-15 people at this point, and somehow all of them are in the wrong. And again, I do understand some were cheaters and one, with proof on her end, could not take a hint after they broke it off. I'm just at a loss here because I feel like she leaves out a lot of important details or blows things way out of proportion. So, AITA for thinking she might be the problem?",AITA for thinking that my cousin may be the problem?,NTA
10vvzsv,"I (17 F) am always “negative” according to my mother (44 F). She is alwyas saying i’m negative and saying i’m alwyas so hard to be around. Here is an example of when i am negative as such. So my little brother (14 M) hates doing chores as we all do. Well while im doing my chores ( which is the bulk of the house since i am the only girl out of all 4 kids) and i ask him if he can clean the living room. Easy enough right? wrong. he comes downstairs and pickes up some trahs off th ground and obviously there’s more to do like put shoes away and hang up coats and such.He goes back upstairs to go do whatever he wants. I of ouse see the dirty living room and he is nowhere to be seen and of couse i tell his name so that he comes down and cleans what i told him to clean. i am frustrated because this happens almost on a daily basis. he comes down and i have to tel him step by step what to do. why he can’t just do it without me telling him to “put away the shoes” i have no idea but it’s not ideal for oth of us and i want him to do his chores even thought this is one of the easiest things to do in the house. i am of course being rude i am stressed and annoyed that he can’t prolly do his job. he finally finishes after all that and goes upstairs. my mom however is not happy. she will always take his side in anything. She says “well he doesn’t want to do anything for you because your so rude and negative” meanwhile my brother won’t listen, is very rude, and impatient and constant saying he doesn’t want to do it. She says i an way to negative and need to take a more positive look on life saying “i’m starting to hate being around you”. and we always get into argue ments. saying that i’m so rude to him and need to be more nice. WHY can’t he be more nice? why do i have to be the person of change? it’s getting very frustrating and annoying how she will no matter what happens choose his side over mine. obviously i want to have a good relationship with my brother and mom but if my brother is doing something obviously wrong i will call him out for it, a little rude yes but i don’t know how else i would handle the situation. and my mom will te me i’m being rude and most times i cry after because it’s stressful and hurtful to hear your mom say change yourself you suck your brother can do no harm.",AITA for being always negative towards my family.,NTA
10vl8f7,"Throwaway and on mobile, all fake namesSo the issue is that I (18F) forgot to attend my friend's (19M) father's vigil this past Friday but I also don't really feel bad for it. Backstory:I think it's important to mention that I used to be really close friends with him, who will now be called James. But we haven't really hung out or even talked to each other since late September. Anytime I would want to hang out with him and his boyfriend (20M) Jacob, I would need to set up the time, location and activity. We used to all set up details together but that was 6 months ago or more.Our group had a falling out when James and Jacob would always side with the bully of the group and they let our friend Alex(19NB) leave the group instead of the bully which didn't sit right with me. The last time we did hang out was in November to visit Alex who lives 45 min away. Jacob and James didn't want to drive because it seemed to both Alex and I that they didn't really care if they went to see Alex or not. Before this I would say hi to them if I saw them and we might have a 3 minute conversation if that. I am just trying to establish that I didn't really know anything about them anymore and we weren't really close friends anymore. Now to the problem. This past Christmas James told me that his dad had passed a couple of days after the 25th. I responded with the usual ""oh no my condolences reach out to me if you need anything I'm here for you."" However when he first told me my first thought was oh well and I was ready to move on with my life. I have never had a conversation with James' father ever in the 5+ years I have known him. I didn't tell James my reaction because I am not an idiot but that's the last I thought of it.Until this past Tuesday when James mentioned that his dad's vigil would be Friday. When I first read the text I thought that I probably shouldn't go because I had such an insensitive reaction to his death and I didn't want James to be more hurt. Then I literally forgot to reply to the text. I did not commit to going or ever said anything like that.Well this Saturday Jacob texted me and asked why I didn't go and I told him I forgot and that I had screwed up not saying anything. Jacob then started going after me saying I am a horrible friend and that I should be there comforting James in his time of need.But reaching out is a two way street and neither one of them have tried reaching out to me for months? So reddit AITA because I forgot to respond to the message and have not contacted James back?",AITA for not responding and keeping up with my friend in his time of need?,YTA
10vtsnx,"AITA for not reaching out to my now ex-bestfriend after she repeatedly abandoned me and ignored me?I 15f recently got in a fight with my best friend 16f, basically she's been dating her boyfriend 16m for a year now and he does not allow her to hang out with anyone but him at school ever. I have known my friend for about 1 1/2 years and we were instantly close after we met through our sport. Everything was fine last year, we didn't have the same lunch before but we would hang out on weekends, text non-stop, talk every passing period possible, and talk during practices, and we would always confide in eachother. Lately however (past couple months) I had been inviting her to just as many things as normal and she would say no to everything or say she would then back out. Then since school started I've needed to talk once cause I was super stressed and had some news to share and so I asked for 1 single lunch to hang out and talk like we used to so we could talk, she didn't show up, gave no excuse, and we didn't talk for a week until she finally apologized. Getting back to it, I finally confronted her and asked her how we are friends if she never wants to hang out, talk, and I am only her online friend pretty much that she calls whenever she has an issue. We went back and forward for a while then after I thought I started to get my point across, she flipped out and accused me of something and then when I calmly defended myself she just never responded and we have been ignoring eachother for a week now. My friends and family all think I should reach out again but idk what to do because she not only ignored me but insulted me too. If you have any questions please ask so that you can give the most informed decision. Thanks",AITA for not reaching out to my now ex-bestfriend after she repeatedly abandoned me and ignored me?,NTA
10vr00t,"For the sake of this post i'll refer to myself as Anne and my sister as Jane. My sister jane had severe mental health problems as a child and was in and out of psych wards for years. At the time I tried to be a better sister to her bc I did feel I caused most of it due to bullying her when we were kids. I apologized to her over and over for it. Basically in highschool I started subconsciously coping her, isolating myself from ppl making fun of myself in my head and directing hate at myself and thought it felt so good. I liked being alone and the feeling of self hatred and it basically led to me going from a healthy weight to a very dangerous low weight somewhere in the 60s. I became addicted to making myself feel as miserable as possible taking a bunch of ap classes and three languages to put pressure on myself and would stay up all night feeling good when I deprived my body of sleep and water and food and stopping brushing my hair till it got so matted it needed to be cut off. This continued all through out high school I kept it to myself and no one cared in my family and I liked knowing that. The thing is it was all fake I convinced myself of all these lies that I was worthless, disgusting and a burden to make myself sad so i could be like my sister Jane but my sister truly felt this way I did not. Last year I fell down the tiktok rabbit hole and tried to convince myself I was autistic just like my sister and subconciously acted autistic and I was angry and jealous of my sister that she gets to be special and have a reason to be weird I don't as I am just a failed human who failed to launch as I am not in collage or have a job currently but there is nothing preventing me from doing so. I know that was very wrong of me, I was bambarding my friend with all these fake struggles just to feel validated. Well I ended up trying to tell my dad about my ""depression"" and possible ""autism"" he blew up at me and called me a faker which he was absolutely right about and an attention seeker again it was true. Aita for faking autism and mental health?",AITA for faking mental health struggles and a disabilty?,YTA
10vlm2c,"So I (m/26) have been dating my gf (f/27) for 4 months now. Things have been great, we have alot in common, and i get along well with her family for the most part. But, our main arguments lately have been about her parents refusal to allow her to spend the night with me at my apartment. I have told her repeatedly that she is too old to be asking for permission and that she needs to put her foot down or her parents will never change and I worry they will begin interfering in other aspects of our life.​For some background: my gf still lives with her parents, but she has a full time job, her own vehicle, does not smoke or drink, or even go out unless it's with me or her sister, and even pays some rent to her parents. But they will not allow her to stay with me and will call and text if she's out with me ""too late"" usually around 10pm saying it's time to go home. She tells me she has tried talking to them multiple times but it gets her nowhere and has even told them how it's not fair that they let her younger brother (m/21) spend the night at his girlfriend's and they have flat out told her it's because he's a male. We made plans to spend Thanksgiving, New Years, and a few random nights together but each time her parents will not allow her. Last week we got into an argument over it and we spent maybe 2 hours talking about it late at night. I had a text from her dad asking where she was and when i called him, he said how they were worried and about to go looking for her, and how i need to make sure ""it doesn't happen again"". I didn't have my phone on me and i never heard hers go off so i did not know they were even reaching out. She had another conversation with them and at first they said she was grown and knew what she was doing so we decided to spend the night that weekend. Well she comes over and at 11pm they start telling her to go home. We got into a huge fight over it and i said some hurtful things like ""i want to be in an adult relationship"", and ""you need to tell them to fuck off"". Granted i could've worded things better but i let my frustration get the best of me. I told her i hate having my time with her dictated by others and how we have to put plans on hold (like going on trips) because of her parents. She mentioned that her dad told her before we even met that as long as she lives there, she needs to come home for the night. My gf is asking me for patience and understanding and that eventually they will ease up, but it's getting more and more difficult for me to accept the situation.I have asked why she's so afraid of standing up to them and she tells me it's because she does not want to strain her relationship with them and is concerned they will kick her out, for which she does not have the money to move out right now, so she wants me to respect their wishes. Am i the asshole for asking her to stand up to her parents?",AITA for telling my girlfriend that she needs to stand up to her parents?,YTA
10vuy1c," A few months ago I started dating a girl with a psychological disorder, but she's still just an amazing girl and it doesn't really affect our relationship (despite the distance).  Obviously I know that this brings difficult situations and that the way to deal with it is different, there's always one more concern, but that's okay, because since I asked her to date I knew I would deal with things like that. At the end of last year, we agreed that we were going to meet each other's families and so I went to spend 10 days at her grandmother's house and when I returned, I asked my mother if my girlfriend could spend New Year's Eve with me, even to meet them and what I received was a nice scolding disguised as advice.  For other reasons, we ended up not spending New Year's Eve together and we agreed that on the first weekend of this year, I would bring her to my house and then she could meet my parents. As soon as she arrived here, my mother treated her with a certain indifference and my father, when arrived, the same way.  I was a little bummed about it, but I wasn't going to let it ruin the weekend with her. On Sunday, I drove her home and came back in the afternoon.  At night, my parents called me and they just started talking very badly about my girlfriend, saying things like ""She's incapable"", ""You're going to jail"" and even saying that ""We try so hard for you to be successful and you show up with such a problem here at home"".  My father almost forced me to break up with her, saying that if I didn't, he wouldn't help me anymore.  It destroyed me, it made me feel so bad that I went back to having depressing thoughts and a certain desire to give up on life.  I felt so guilty simply for loving my girlfriend that it made me look for therapy for the nearest day possible, simply because I couldn't take it. It went away for a while, I was in a bad mood with my parents for a week, but every time I said something about my girlfriend, they scowled. This weekend, for health reasons, my girlfriend had to go back to live with her grandmother and as she was going to take a lot of things, I went with her to help and to spend the weekend with her.  My parents were very against the idea to the point that when I was leaving, they said ""You know you're upsetting us. You've never given us heartbreak until now"".  And I left the house on Friday again with that weight of guilt, but I enjoyed the weekend and enjoyed the time I had with my love. Today when I came back, my mother has a kind of frown on me and said that my father is sad and depressed around the corners, crying because of me and now, again, I have this huge weight of guilt for all of this. Relevant observation: She is 23 years old and I am 20, that is, exactly: AdultsSo, am I the asshole?",AITA for prioritizing my happiness over my parents' wishes?,NTA
10vqbsb,"My best friend (19F) and I (20F) have been living together for 6 months now and recently had an argument that may lead to her getting kicked out. We have been really good friends for about 10 years. For college my father sold our house and bought a townhouse near campus for me. I know she is a messy person, since we have met she has never had a clean bedroom. Before moving in together she said she would make an effort to keep the common space clean and her bedroom isn’t my concern which is fine with me. I like to keep a clean space, while I don’t deep clean I will pull out a vacuum and wipes if I notice something. I also don’t like seeing the sink full with dishes so I often unload/load the dishwasher. The one chore I don’t do is the trash because I feel I do enough around the house and she has been taking it out ever since we moved in, never complaining about me not doing it. Though, she doesn’t do it regularly and it often overflows. That’s where the argument started. She sent a message saying “can I set a new rule for us? If you see trash actively opening the lid and one of us knows it’s full. We have to take it out and not just shove more trash on top”. To me this is basically asking me to take part in her one chore when I’m already doing the other 5 chores. When I tried to explain this to her I was met with a paragraph of text calling me a martyr because I never asked her to do any of that stuff and that she was forced to do trash even though this is how things have been for the last 6 months. When I suggested taking out the trash more often so it doesn’t pile up (which I don’t find to be much more inconvenient and she agreed in the past) she just said no and that she isn’t asking much. To try n fix this my bf set up a chore list and tried to throw into that conversation that she needs to cleanup after cooking because recently her food rotted on the stove for days. Her reason? She’s often “too high” to clean afterwards. Another reasoning for her never helping w vacuuming and other chores is because I never asked her. I wasn’t aware I needed to treat her like my child. I no longer want to speak to her because she hasn’t apologized. Was I wrong for leaving trash for her to do without explicitly saying it and not asking her to help me with the other chores?",AITA for doing every chore?,NTA
10vmcns,"So I (24m) live with Dan and Rob (both 24m).  The three of us have been friends our entire lives. Dan has a girlfriend, Cass. So call us immature but a running joke we’ve had amongst the three of us for years is that we “pants” each other (pull down each other’s pants).  We would never do it in public and it’s not like we do it excessively but it’s just an inside joke and no one minds it. Granted we’ve never explicitly said that it doesn’t bother us but all three of us have done it to each other countless times by now. So the other day the four of us are drinking and I pants Dan. All of us laugh we move on. But later I get a giant text from Cass saying that I was disrespectful to both her and Dan to do that. Now granted I know for a fact Cass has seen Dan in his underwear (the two of them have come out of his room in the morning when ge hasn’t had pants on) so I’m baffled. I didn’t answer her. So I talked to Dan and said I didn’t realize the pantsing bothered him and he just acted confused and said it didn’t. I told him about the text and he said he’d talk to Cass. Now I got a long text from Cass saying I’m causing an argument between her and Dan. AITA?EDIT: Should have clarified. Underwear stayed on",AITA for pulling down my roommate’s pants in front of his girlfriend and our other roommate?,YTA
10vusar,"I am a 16 year old male who enjoys playing games. My father hates them with a burning passion, last night I was playing and he told me to get off, I said sure and told him I would get off after this game, he said ok and left my room. I came out five minutes later after I finished my game, he then proceeds to tell me he was about done with my ""fucking video games"" and said I had been on for 5 hours, I told him it was only 2 hours and showed him my play time to prove it. He then called me ""fucking psychotic"" and said I couldn't play for a week. Am I in the wrong?",AITA for playing video games,NTA
10vwul2,"I live across the world from my home country for many years and my dad has never come visit, not even for my graduation. I asked my dad when was he gonna come visit now that I have a LO. Apparently he didn’t want to come at all but he wouldn’t directly say it. Every time I mentioned it he would get extremely worked up and certain that he’ll 1)pass out from high blood pressure on the plane 2)get lost and locked up at the connecting flight country 3)being put in a black box by customs and sent to a hotel to quarantine for 2 weeks with expensive rates. When I said those aren’t likely to happen to him. He lost his shit and yelled at me for not keeping up with the news, hung up and started texting and character attacking me. Saying that  I wouldn’t survive being extremely co dependent, I tried to make him lose all his money, and I wanted to munch on him. I told him if he didn’t want to come he could just say and I won’t ask anymore. He kept on berating me as a person. I’m unemployed and I’ve been living on the rent of a property that I inherited from my mother. He said the rent shouldve been his bc he paid the inheritance taxes for me. I’ve been sending him my baby’s pictures, now im thinking about keeping minimal contact and no more pictures of LO. AITA for asking him to come over?",AITA for asking my dad to come see my newborn baby and help out,NTA
10vsqd5,"My brother, ""James,"" (31) has not spoken more than a couple of words to me (29F) for over 3 years. My parents really want us to mend our relationship, but I don't know how or even if I want to. For backstory, we have never gotten along. We were both horrible to each other in different ways growing up and that has led to a lot of resentment between us. I won't go into detail about what he did, but I was a jerk for calling him stupid a lot. I got better grades than him and was mean about it. He is actually way smarter than me in most ways, I just liked school so I did well in that environment. I realized what an AH I was as a kid and have tried to apologize and make an effort to be kinder to him since I figured it out. He was also awful to me in other ways, but has never apologized or shown any regret. I think because he feels justified for it. 3 years ago we had to share a room during a family gathering and he was watching a show while I was trying to go to sleep. I asked him to wear headphones, but he said he couldn't. I don't know why he couldn't. He said he was trying to keep himself awake because a friend who was struggling with something was going to call him. I have sensory perception disorder and struggle with noises and definitely can't sleep with a TV show on. We argued for a bit, I called him selfish (which I admit was wrong, especially if he was trying to be a good friend), and went to sleep in my car. It sounds dramatic, and probably was, but I was tired and it was the only option at 2 am. I just wanted to remove myself from the situation and go to sleep. Since then, he won't speak more than a couple of words at a time to me and only if I initiate. I tried to apologize several times in the following months, but he would ignore me. Christmas of that year I wrote him a letter apologizing and got him a thoughtful gift. I'm pretty sure they both went in the trash. Recently my parents keep bringing up how they want us to mend our relationship, but I feel like it isn't my responsibility at this point since I've already tried. I love my brother, but it's exhausting. Obviously it's deeper than that, but am I really that much of an AH for sleeping in my car that it warrants his behavior? WIBTA if I don't try anymore?",AITA for Sleeping in My Car Three Years Ago,NTA
10vsq61,Hi! School just started back today and in one of my classes I have sat in this same spot for around 3 years now. Since school started this year someone else has been sitting in that seat and although it doesnt really seem like a big deal my new spot feels quite isolated so I don’t feel as comfortable as i was in my old spot. Would I be an asshole if I turned up to class earlier just to make sure I got that spot ive had for the past 3 years?Note: I have asked the person sitting there if I could have it back and they flat out said no.,AITA for wanting to ‘steal’ my classroom seat back?,NTA
10vnkuo,"The title explains itself but, I (14F) are supposed to pick the classes I want to do for high school in a couple days. Some people not really sure who came down to the middle school to explain what the programs and classes were, how much credits we needed etc. Enrollments start on February 10th, but they said it was a good idea to start thinking about it. I already had most of my classes figured out like algebra 1, psychical science and more. But then electives came. One of the people said it was better to leave some extra period to study in, and my original plan was to do that. I had picked to do concert band which took place every other day. So the days I didn't have the band practice would be a free period to study or chill. I was actually excited to sighn up for classes, and my friends thought it was a good idea too.Well I started talking about it during dinner with my parents, and my dad seemed to get snappy when I said that I already have enough credits to be ready for each year to graduate. But, when I told him that I had picked only concert band so I could have extra periods to study he didn't like it. Both me and him went back and forth a lot till I got super upset about it.Eventually it got to the point where both of us were yelling at eachother, and he started saying stuff like 'your family feels different and has the final say' crap or something. He brought up what career I wanted to do and said I probably had no clue. He was right about that, but it wasn't my main priority. He brought up the fact that he went through all the grades, and went to college so he knew better. I just told him I was doing what the people told me was a good idea for freshman's. But, he didn't agree with it then called me a spoiled brat, self centered, and a cry baby since I was crying.I wasn't originally trying to argue but told me to just be rational about this. At that point I was so upset I didn't even listen to him, and my mom wasn't saying anything helpful to me. I just just got up, and went to my room crying. He took away my phone, but that didn't bother me. I'm just going to give in because fighting with him isn't helping my situation. I have an idea of just what to pick, and if stops us arguing then its fine. I have calmed down, and I did overreact with the crying it was more of a heat in the moment type thing.  But, this is why I usually never tell him things I pick since it will usually end up in a argument. But am I the asshole here?",AITA for not originally agreeing to picking another elective for freshman year?,NTA
10vke79,"My (24M) GF (23F) got an oil change today. She called me and told me it was expensive for her, being a broke post-grad student. I was like huh? For a simple oil change? She explained that when she was there the guy said they should also check and top off all her fluids. He also said the last person who changed her oil left the plastic oil filter cap on too tight so if they accidentally broke it she'd have to buy a new one that's all shiny and metal.So I was like oh, well next time just say you want your oil changed and that's it. That some guys will see clueless people, usually women, and try to upsell them crazy bullshit that they don't need. I told her that he should have been more careful and that if he broke it, she shouldn't have to pay. At the very least, just replace the one you broke with a similar one and maybe she pays for the part only. Or that I could just get a genuine part for less than the shop was trying to sell.I thought I was putting her on game. She got super silent and then told me she was telling me that out of pride for accomplishing something and that we should change the subject because she just wanted to share something good.I picked my battle, obliged and said I was proud of her for getting her oil changed. But it was an annoying conversation for the both of us apparently. Am I the asshole?",AITA for insinuating to my GF that sometimes guys at car shops will try to upsell clueless people ridiculous things they don't need after she paid $150+ for an oil change?,YTA
10vogwi,"Financial context: My(23M) girlfriend(24F) has been living with me for one year and before she moved in we had a talk and I told her the only way it would work is if she pays $400 twice a month so that I know she’s serious about living with me and because I didn’t want the added expense of her living with me to slow my progress towards my goals. (I had just gotten my first apartment and I wanted to fully furnish it which it took me 8 months and 20k to do.) I get $2,500 every two weeks after tax and after paying for our expenses, bills, entertainment, our phone bills etc. I’m left with between $600 and $900 every two weeks and that’s what I’ve been using to furnish my home for the past year. What I ask:Her only contribution besides $400 twice a month (cost of living: $4,000 minimum before trips)  is cook the food I buy for us both (typically once or twice a day depending on if we’re working that day) and keep the place clean. She makes most of the mess and it’s not a big apartment.Where I could be the asshole:I can’t get her to cook or clean and i took over cooking for myself because she kept throwing it in my face when I brought up cleaning but now she still doesn’t clean. She has had 3 jobs and quit 2 of them leaving me to pay her share for 5 months total. I’m not sure if maybe I’m not seeing her perspective but I literally don’t ask for anything else. When we go on vacations I provide 100% of it. The plane ride, food, activities, hotels/cabins/Airbnbs and she just has to show up and have fun. I’m starting to feel used and taken advantage of and I communicated all of my concerns but nothing has changed. I’ve had her say things like “it’s your cat” or “it’s your clothes” and sure but I don’t say “it’s your job why do I have to take you” “it’s your food why do I have to pay” “it’s your phone bill/phone/hygiene/clothes” I do all I can to provide her with a comfortable life. All I ask is that she stop leaving a mess all over the house and keep it clean. TLDR: 1. I pay for just about everything, living expenses, vacations/outings, her new phone and bill so she could have a super computer in her pocket to make her life easier. Anything she’s asked for within reason and everything we could possibly need. I take her to and from work or I buy her bus passes for when I can’t. 2. She quit her jobs without having a backup plan even though I told her that was a bad idea leading me to have to pay her promised portion for months which brings her total non paid months to 5 and she’s only been here 10 months 3. I can’t get her to cook or clean and so I took over cooking for myself so that she could focus on cleaning and that didn’t work either. 4. making me feel used and unappreciated which I have communicated to no avail.Maybe I’m not seeing it from her POV but if I were in her shoes being spoiled and provided for the least I could do is keep the house I live in for almost free clean and cook the food I don’t have to pay for to show I appreciate it",AITA for expecting more from my girlfriend?,NTA
10vsij1,"I’m not even sure how I got into my current predicament but I will do my best to give an unbiased account. We were recently on a short road trip with one of his friends. Throughout the day I kept getting picked on. Comments like “if you don’t know about it then just shut the fuck up” when I suggested something and “I’ve been done with this conversation for like 30 minutes” when I was talking about naming our business and asking his opinion. And weird comments that I assumed were joking at lunch like “if you don’t start finishing all your food I’m gonna stop buying it”. Eventually I got fed up and decided to take his comment to heart and shut the fuck up. I said nothing and was just silent and indifferent and gave short responses. I was tired of being embarrassed in public and in front of his friend and just in general. Then we got home and I went and took care of the dogs and unpacked and then suddenly he was short with me when I tried to help him bring stuff into the house. He said he was “tired of my attitude” and that “there are four rooms go pick one” so again I did. I chose our room obviously bc I wasn’t going to pretend I did something worthy of giving up my bed. And I took a shower made my own dinner and went to bed all while he avoided being in the same room as me. He is off work this week and so I got up this morning and got ready and left and then came home from work and still no words have been exchanged. Now over 24hours and I’m not sure if it’s me or him controlling the silence but I’m over it. But not over it enough to apologize, even if I did have the attitude first, does that make me the asshole?",AITA? My fiancé (32M) and I (27F) are in the silent treatment and I refuse to give in first…am I the asshole?,NTA
10vubb9,"Hey guys so here’s a fun one for y’all to tear up because I probably am the asshole. So I (18f) got engaged to my partner (18f) a couple days before she left for basic training. I love my lady to death but long distance is fucking killing me. We live together and have for the past 6 months, I have never felt more alone than I do now that I have no contact with her. Because there’s no context it’s really been having me think about my life and if I’m ready to be with one person and my answer keeps coming to a no. My parents got together at 14 and are now divorced and have many regrets of not spending their youth finding the right one. I am very worried that, that is something I am going to regret. I really don’t think I’m ready for marriage but I love my fiancé so much. I don’t know how to tell her this and for it to end with us still together. When we told my family about us getting engaged I wanted to wait until she got to know the family a little better, when I told her this she got pretty upset and kinda pressured me into telling my whole family because “I shouldn’t be worried about what they think”. I’m really close with my family and I don’t really bring my partners around them. I have brought my fiancé around but only around my main family like first cousins and grandparents type family. I am pretty close with the rest of my family and they have only met her once. I am the first grandchild of the family to be getting engaged even though our relationship is the newest one compared to my cousins. Whatever flash forward to now and she has about 2.5 weeks left of basic training and I have been having these thoughts of if I am ready or not and I really don’t think I am. So AITA for wanting to take things down a step? And can I please have some advice I am #strugglingEdit: forgot to add in how because she is going to be in the military a lot of things are being rushed, liked for example if we want to live together for any part of the next 6 years we will have to be married. This shit is so dumb.",AITA for wanting to break off an engagement but stay together,NTA
10vk7kt,"My mother in law who has been uninvolved with anyone/single  most of my wife's upbringing is very active in our twins' lives, she babysits often (10-15 nights yearly). There's never been a worry about a boyfriend or strangers around our children when she has them! She about a year ago rekindled a relationship with her high school sweetheart, and they are moving together in their hometown. Nobody We know has met this man, nor has my partner. My wife is incredibly protective of our children's safety and emotions (they are 5) homeschooled, and truly smarter than most. During this year mother in law has made ZERO effort to introduce us to this man, and has actually made attempts to keep privacy. They spend time with mother in laws family and he Is supposedly a wonderful person. There's nothing that has been told to us that says this man is of poor character until about 2 weeks ago we have been told that once they build their lifelong home at the lake (they already own the lake plot) that the kids will NOT be welcome unless they fully know how to swim. They assume the house will be done in 2 years, and while our kids are in swim lessons, love water, and will more than likely be swimming at this point, my wife is livid. She told her mother ""I am not going to expect out children to learn a skill to come stay with grandma, this man hasn't even met out children and Is more concerned with their skills"" mother in law then continues on about how WHEN the twins come stay for a week, without us of course. My wife is now absolutely livid that her mother thinks that we will send the kids of to her and this man for a week without getting to meet him for a significant amount of time. Are we assholes?Editing to add information. We have never asked Mother in law for free childcare we live 12 hours away and have always made the trip when she calls and asks for this time.Also our kids are incredibly confident in lifejackets, can go tubing, jet-sking, have jumped off double decker boats, and literally won't even go near a pool without one on. They respect water heavily and do not want to take the jackets off at this time (they won't even remove them for swim class) no matter how hard we try. Vmother and law and boyfriend are unhappy with this.",AITAH mother in law overstepping?,YTA
10vwhr6,"Me (17M) and my friend group (all  17M) have been around each other for around 6 years. We are not very  good at social interactions and we are not good at social cues. This is  important, it think.My friend  (lets call him Carl) was complaining about a teacher ""discriminating""  against him. So basically he has a bad reputation of not doing work and  lying to the teacher about it. He claims he was being discriminated  against because a recent teacher sent him to the counselor to get work  done (when he did finish his work) , while another kid (who did less  work than him) did not get sent to the counselors office.We  meet at our hangout spot and I'm talking to my teacher about Elden Ring  and I hear the argument. I ask one of the guys (lets call him Frank)  wtf is going on and he explains the entire thing. Frank was saying that  it was Carl's fault because of his bad reputation and to go easy on the  teacher since she was new.Carl  appears distressed but not too much (the kind of distress when you are  annoyed with a teacher rambling, at least I think), and claims that he  is going to get revenge against the teacher by ""acting like a bitch  around her"". I tell him to chill tf out since the teacher is new, and he  shrugs it off, and Frank calls him immature for doing so and childish.I  decide to make a snide remark, to try and lighten the mood as it is  getting a little tense, and I turn to Frank and say: ""Most Mature  Marine"" (Carl was joining the Marines). Frank makes a comment saying  lightheartedly: ""No wonder they eat crayons"".Right  then, Carl gets up and leaves the room saying: ""Good Luck"" and just  leaves. We are all stunned since that is the first time he has done that  and right now we're all a bit worried. Me and Frank especially since we are wondering if we said the wrong thing at the wrong time causing him to walk away.So Reddit, AITA?",AITA for making a joke about my friend.,NTA
10vgrho,"I walked into my mom holding the dog on her lap and cutting up her fur with my razor. I think it’s quite unhygienic to share shaving equipment with other people, let alone dogs.Before my mom could shave off anymore, i snatched it from her, making sure it was far enough from the dog.OP: why would you use my stuff? Didn’t you buy a shaving set for them a few months ago?Mom: yeah but yours is better and easier to use.OP: but why on earth would you use MY stuff on the dogsAt this point, i realized my mother really didn’t see why that was a problem and i just gave up because i wasn’t in the mood for another debate that would end nowhere. Everyone is calling me a dick in the way I reacted but I was genuinely shocked.",AITA for not letting my mom use my shaving equipment on our dogs?,NTA
10vwgni,"I (40M) have 2 kids, Matt (16M) and Macy (16F). Macy has a lot of mental health issues including schizophrenia which she has a therapist for and has had her mental health pretty well controlled. I was recently tidying up her room a bit, since she has a hard time maintaining her own space that I like to help her out a bit. I was putting some clothes away in her drawers when I notice a bunch of bottles of soda filled with pee. I was confused as hell, because one how would a female be able to pee into a soda bottle with ease, and two since when did Macy drink so much soda to have all of these bottles? She isn't a huge soda drinker compared to Matt, who drinks it a lot and would have an easier time peeing in the bottles for obvious reasons. When they got home from school, I sat down with Matt and asked him why he stashes so many bottles of piss in his sisters room. He was confused and asked me WTF was I talking about, but I told him I know he likes to pull pranks on his sister and that all of these bottles are the kinds of soda he drinks. He brought up his sisters strange habits and behaviors she usually has while she is psychotic and how depressed she tends to be, but I didn't buy his argument and told him that his prank was nasty and he shouldn't be going into his sisters room without permission anyway. My wife is upset with me for not listening to him and ignoring the possibility that it's Macy, but I have a hard time believing that. AITA?",AITA for grounding my son after he put piss bottles in his sisters drawers?,YTA
10vn393,"Ok, a bit of context here. (BTW, english isn't my first language so expect gramatical errors)  I (18M) am in highschool, and I have this friend of mine (18M). He isn't the smartest student out there, and his habits doesn't make it any better. He doesn't pay attention in classes, he sleeps through them and sometimes he even skips them. He only texts me to ask for the homework, ask for help in something or those type of things. So, as you can see, by his own he would probably repeated year like 2 or 3 times. I'm going to be honest, his projects are AWFUL, not remotely close to what the teacher asked for, and it's not because he doesn't understand the topic or the teacher is bad at teaching, it's all because he doesnt makes any effort on paying attention and improving his works wich all look like a thing a 5 year old kid would do on Sunday night. I usually help him because normally it doesn't takes me a long time, and I even correct some minimal mistakes on his works so he can get a good grade.Now, the problem is, I'm getting tired from this, I am feeling used. So for the last months, I have slowly started to ignore his messages and/or pretend I didn't see them. And if empathy wins, I only help him with what he exactly asked help for, but he hasn't stopped. Now, into the real problem. Everytime we have a project, he sends me his the night before, so I can check it and correct him. I have told him that I'm not the teacher, and that I have no idea if its correct the way he did it (Now, obviously I should have an idea, but I say this hoping he gets that I don't really like spending the night reading someone elses project and correcting it).Since I decided to stop helping him. Everytime he sends me a homework or a project, I say ""Yep, perfect mate"" and proceed to ignore him. This gave him a confidence boost, because he tought he was becoming smarter by not needing me to correct his works. But this has brought consequences, wich can be seen on his grades, he has gone from B's to C's or even F's (Not sure if the conversions are well made since my country uses a different system, but you get the idea).It's pretty obvious why this has happened, it's my fault for letting him deliver those badly made projects, and he's on the verge of failing three subjects, and on top of that, he's getting depressed by thinking the teachers simply don't like him and give him a bad grade on a ""Well made"" work.TL;DR AITA for not correcting my friends homeworks and projects, letting him get bad grades and risking his year?",AITA for not letting my friend know his whole school project is wrong?,YTA
10vicon,"Me and my husband (both25) currently have a lease ending next month. We have a 1 year old and I’m 9 months pregnant with our second son.I live 100 miles away from all my family and friends and I’ve been incredibly lonely. I haven’t made any friends living here for the past 3 years and his family couldn’t care less about ours.So it’s just us all alone with no support System. I really really suffered with bad ppd with my first and as soon as I started getting better I found out I was pregnant again.Anyways my family are super supportive, they visit us every 3 months when they can and they’re always calling for us and I wouldn’t know where I’d be without my family and friends.I’ve been bidding on social housing in my families area for the past 5 months with the intention of getting out of this lonely hellhole. And they called us on Friday telling me we’ve been accepted for a brand new 2 bed new build 50% market rent in the city centre. It’s also a lifetime assured tenancy, it’s somewhere I can decorate, paint and make my own for our little boys.I felt so overjoyed and happy. It’s literally a once in a lifetime opportunity. Our marriage has been super rocky and he told me he’s not signing the lease. I don’t earn enough for the threshold.I’m stunned, he knew my plans to leave and he admitted to me he didn’t think I had a chance of finding anything.I feel like this is a marriage breaker. I gave my life to him and the kids for the past 3 years. We always had plans to be closer to my family. And now he wants to switch up.He told me he’s going to divorce me if I speak on it any further. He admitted he doesn’t plan on helping me during postpartum again. And we each have our roles in the house.I run a online shop that will cover the rent, food and childcare expenses but I just don’t meet the threshold. I’ve been paying the rent for this current house for a year anyways.I told him pls just sign it and we can go our separate ways. I won’t ever ask him for a penny and we can move on in life.He refused get to be petty. But I’m so so angry. I told him he’s ruined my life and he’s a c***AITA.Regarding getting my family on the lease instead, I will have to make a brand new application and restart the bidding process. This is the last batch of new builds they have in the building. I literally gave up a month ago because we got rejected for the 4th time and now we’ve been accepted.",AITA for calling my husband a rude word for not signing a lease,NTA
10vqcjz,"I (24F) attended a friend's 24th birthday party Saturday and had some issues. There were only four of us there, and two of the girls got drunk (totally allowed since one of them was the birthday girl). As they started to drink, they got more belligerent toward me like calling me a racist (I was talking about how white my ancestry is, and I swear that's it) as a joke, but that's not my humor type and also made the other non-drunk girl uncomfortable.The problem arises when they started making fun of me for being trash at some of the games we played. Not too harmful. I'm not going to be good at everything, and no one really wins with Uno. As the night went on, they got a little drunker and started cheating at games while still making these comments to me. I called her out on it and she claimed she wasn't cheating (she used her face to save a Jenga tower and would right down three or four points when they only got two).Anyway, I understand that this wasn't the correct response and apologized to her and explained my family was cutthroat with games growing up, so it's something I'm working to undo. She thanked me for apologizing and I missed the text, so I texted back today (Monday) saying, ""I'm trying to apologize when I realize I've done things wrong. Life is a learning process dude"" (because we've both had mental health issues we're working through). The next thing I know, she's blowing up on me saying that people don't have to accept apologies or forget that you hurt them because you apologized. And I agreed and just tried to explain that apologizing a while after the fact was something I had to learn because I didn't use to and I would beat myself up for things that people didn't even care about (I've learned this since getting better at apologizing when we're out of a tense situation).  She hit me with, ""You're going to keep apologizing when you've already apologize? I already acknowledged it."" I tried to explain that wasn't what I was trying to say. And she ended it with ""Okay, so maybe in the future instead of dwelling on not getting the response you want to your apology, how about lets just move forward, yeah?"" To which I responded, ""That's not exactly what I meant with what I said, but I'd like to move forward.""I'm not sure how this blew up into such a big thing. And this isn't the first time she's blown up over a miscommunication and treated me poorly. She asked me for advice on an outfit and I said she looked cute, but I don't like tightly tucked in shirts on any girl because I just don't feel that it's the most flattering and said I would wear something over it if it were me and she said I called her fat (I've struggled with an ED, so I would never call someone fat. I gave her my opinion as a friend). I'm just not sure where this miscommunication happened and what I said to upset her. Am I the asshole for texting her today to acknowledge the text?",AITA For Apologizing to my Friend,NTA
10vw42f,"I had one cat I adopted him since he is 3, and now he is around 8. He is a good friend but a very loud one(seriously loud).I had a distanced(CA, TX) girlfriend, and we planned to get married asap. She wants me to move in with her now, and we plan to have a kid asap. The problem is that she already had two cats at her place, with her roommate. However, she is willing to try to introduce my cat to hers. But it sounds like if things go wrong, my cat has to go (she did not say it, but you know what...) and I shouldn't complain about it. I could also just leave the cat at my house alone... to have my best buddy come over every few days, but that makes me feel worse... I'm not extremely upset about this situation, but if anything went south, I guess i have to choose one over another. Either way, I guess I'm the asshole here..‐--------Just fill in some details, For marriage, I spent half time each month with her, then flew back to cat for the past two years, 24 months. And now I'm extremely tired flying around every two weeks, so I proposed I want to take the cat there to have a try.Meanwhile, when i was not here, my roommate was taking care of my cat. Last November, he moved out to a nearby city for a job, so I've been in Texas till now to decide what to do. My former roommate proposed he can adopt the cat, but he can't do that until his new house is ready, which could be as early as April, or we don't know when.",AITA thinking rehome my cat,YTA
10vjhkc,"Some context. I (25f) have 3 roommates: Jessie (25f), Casey (26f), Parker (25f) (fake names). Jessie and Casey moved in in August and did not know each other prior. Parker and I have been living in this apartment the last 2 years and have become good friends. We have all been on good terms as in there have not been incidents or arguments. The previous 2 roommates moved out to live with their partners. In the living room is the only TV in the apartment. It is my TV that was originally in my room but I moved it to the living room bc the last roommate took their TV when they moved out. In the kitchen, I have a beer fridge where I put my nice craft beer. I’m talking limited release beer that people wait in line for and it’s known this is not a communal fridge.Story:On Saturday evening, I was hanging out in the living room getting ready to play video games with my online friends.  About 30 min into playing video games, J’s friend arrived. I overheard them talking about how Jessie and Casey were expecting about 20 people to show up that night. They all stayed in the kitchen area and no one came into the living room while I was there. Jessie and Casey never mentioned to Parker or myself about having a party that night. I went into the kitchen twice to grab water and said hi to the people I passed. Jessie and Casey didn’t acknowledge me when I walked passed them. I finished playing and went to bed around midnight and the party was still going on.   When I got up the next morning I noticed that some of my food had been eaten and some of my craft beer had been drank. I’m not sure exactly how much was drank, I only know it happened because I saw the bottles in the trash. I group texted everyone that I found my food and a bottle of my beer in the trash and would like to be compensated for them. Parker came to my room to apologize for what happened but said she wasn’t aware they were going to be having a party. Jessie and Casey never responded to me and instead I caught them cleaning kitchen and asked if they got my text. They said they did and then called me out for asking money for a few beers. I was visibly upset and I tried to explain that these werent just beers you could get at a liquor store but then they said I was the asshole for hogging the living room even though I saw they had people over. I told them they didn’t tell me or Parker about the party and if they did I wouldnt have stuck around or they could have talked to me when I was in living room. The conversation ended with them just ignoring me. I requested money on Venmo for about what I thought was taken from me. It was declined and they instead paid half of what I was asking for.  They have continued to ignore me even when we are passing through the common spaces.AITA for staying in the living room while they threw a party I wasn’t aware was planned? Should I have gone into my room once I realized they were having a party?",AITA for “hogging” the living room during my roommates’ party,NTA
10vi4mn,"My husband, I and our two kids live with my FIL in a house that we own. My husband works full time 6 days a week and my FIL works two days a week. My husband and I handle all of the bills except “rent” my FIL pays that. He has a habit of calling into work for no reason other than he doesn’t feel like going. Now I’m not upset about that. That’s his thing he has to figure it out. What I’m upset about is the fact that I’m treated like a maid in my own house. I pick up after myself my husband and our children because that’s my job. But my fil expects me to clean up after him too. He NEVER does the dishes. He cooks sometimes and that’s his reasoning behind not doing the dishes. Which I get but he cooks once or twice a month so I’m not sure why he doesn’t help out otherwise. I clean everything else including the shared bathroom. Recently we went out of state for a weekend and there was dishes when we left. I figured my fil would have maybe gotten them done but sure enough when we got home they weren’t done and he added onto them. I deep cleaned the whole kitchen and he already has it nasty again. I’m at a loss on what to do.",WIBTA for asking my FIL to pitch in around the house?,NTA
10vjc7b,"Me - f18Dad - m49​My mum, f40, recently went abroad to see her family for the first time in years. Prior to leaving, she expressed her concerns with me about me being forced to basically maintain the house and become a temporary mum while she was gone and I had exams (not a crazy percentage of my degree, but it's my first proper exam season and my mum is aware of how i cannot handle exams and find them absolutely suffocating).She went abroad, and to quite a large extent, this is what exactly happened - however as I had expected it to happen, and didn't hold much hope for anything else. To give a description, my brothers and I are the only ones that ever washed dishes and my dad hadn't washed a single cup/plate/cutlery while she was abroad.One of the many issues that arose was me paying for a lot of stuff, groceries, stuff to cook, food my brother, his cabs home from school because dad couldn't pick him up, etc.Now I told my dad I expect him to pay me back for these expenses, and he said that was fine.​Cut to yesterday, he asked me about how much he owed me and in conversation stated the figure of £40. The groceries alone are more than triple this. In the past, my dad has had a bad history of paying me back for anything, and I told him a few months ago that if he didn't pay me back, I'd stop lending him money.Now, I want this money back because it is a large figure and it's my money and I have every right to it. However I also know that my dad will not likely pay the full sum.I was trying to come up with ideas on how to show him the amount of money he owes me, so I could get it back and I thought of giving him an itemized bill with all my expenses laid out clearly.However I'm not sure if this is excessive, or if I'm crossing a line, because this is still my father.AITA?",WIBTA if i gave my dad an itemized bill?,NTA
10vq2lc,"My boyfriend (24M) and I (25F) are very open about past relationships, abuse and insecurities we have experienced, and we talk through things pretty well. During one of our conversations, he brought up that he had a previous ""friends with benefits"" type situation with a female coworker. We'll call her ""Cassie"". This eventually ended due to Cassie wanting to have an actual relationship but him being unable to view her in that way, but respectfully wanting to remain friends.Lately we have been spending a lot of time together. I'm very adamant about not wanting him neglecting his time with friends to have more time with me. I appreciate the time we get, but I don't want his friendships to suffer as a result. Though I've met some of his friends, there are a few that he has mentioned often I haven't met, one of them surprisingly being Cassie.Today he lets me know he's going out with a group of friends after work, and that Cassie will also be there since another coworker friend Max (M) will be joining them. At first I wasn't bothered, until he also mentioned that most of the time will be spent with Max and Cassie, and less time with the group as a whole. He asked if I was alright with this or if I'd prefer him cut the time with them shorter. I was honestly, saying I wouldn't be comfortable but didn't want him to have less time with them.Now I'm left with my insecurities, feeling really uncomfortable and unhappy with myself for not just taking his original offer of not spending the evening with them. Every time she's been mentioned, I've gotten nervous or upset but I don't always tell him this or I push it aside and simply listen. WIBTA if I asked him to not spend more time with her outside of work, or to cut the time they do spend together short?",WIBTA for asking my bf to spend less time with his female coworker/friend?,YWNBTA
10vvwoe,"My roommate is having me kicked out because I was unable to get a job ""in time"" (keep in mind the job market sucks even for retail, and she only gave me like 3 months) and because apparently my phone calls are too loud and she supposedly is losing sleep over them.One major thing is that she is an intimidating person and leaves me feeling unsafe. She once stood in the kitchen at 4 AM to scare me, and I called the cops because I felt unsafe, who said they would send a car out. She claimed this never happened, because they legally would have to send a car out. And she has this alibi that she supposedly was drinking water. (Going to mention she clearly has psychosis.)I straight up told her tonight that once I move out, I would get a restraining order to prevent her from ever working with vulnerable adults again. She claimed she would sue me for defamation, and that I would have to pay her legal fees for years to come. I calmly told her that in that case, I would not sign the form to get my name off the lease early. She claimed I would be unable to afford the ""legal complications"" and that it would make it difficult for me to go on disability, get housing, and whatever nonsense. And like the scum she is, she got one of her lawyers to put her in touch with 3 crook lawyers over this.AITA? I just want my world to not be a trainwreck of this girl's drama. And I have several friends across the country who can testify she is crazy. All she has is a bunch of middle aged people she works with.",AITA for not signing the lease break against my roommate's will?,YTA
10vtex2,"My best friend and I (both 17F) have known each other for 4 years, and I honestly don’t know where I would be without her; she has changed my life for the better and I love her like a sister. We have a rocky past though, we always got along but for a period of time a group of girls at our middle school peer-pressured her into bullying me and some other people. After I transferred schools she told me she was sorry and explained how they manipulated her into bullying me and doing some other shitty stuff, but we have been friends ever since.We have supported each other through good and bad times. We both have mood disorders but over the time I have gotten better through therapy and medication, and while she has also started her path to recovery we are not at the same point yet.She has been having trouble with another group of people at her high school and this has swallowed her completely for a year now but I think she’s starting to find some peace inside of her.What bothers me about her is that she can’t stop talking about her problems, I always try to turn our conversations the other way around and while we do talk about other things it seems to me like she isn’t interested in anything else. I know everyone at her school, and I know she’s friends with most of her classmates but I don’t know how to console her anymore when the assholes come at her again.Added to that, these jerks are not *just* after her, they talk shit about everyone at their school and even some of the other people they hang out with (like me) who have nothing to do with the drama, but every time she talks about this she frames herself as the only one getting harassed and has recently started saying it’s just her “main character energy”I know how much all of this hurts her, but it’s overwhelming for me, I want to tell her to stop acting like the main character and to look around at how everyone is affected in the same way by the same people, that she’s not the only one they’re targeting and that I would like to talk about the good things in life with her, but I’m scared she’s going to take it in a bad way or that it’s going to have a negative impact on her mental health.I don’t want to cut contact but it has become increasingly difficult to maintain a healthy relationship when we are at vastly different points in our mental health journeys.So reddit, would I be the asshole if I told her to look around and realize she is not the main character?Edit: I slightly changed the vocabulary used in this post so that my internal conflict doesn’t sound like the plot for a disney channel tween movie",WIBTA if I told my friend she is not the main character?,NTA
10vjp1u,"I (23M) live with my parents (45F and 48M) and my severely disabled sister (22F, she doesn't move, she doesn't talk, she doesn't do anything. Some people called people like her ""a vegetable""). I have also disabled gf (19F). I'm earning 1200$ per month from my work. I'm living in a country, that you can live in comfort on your own for 1,000$ and the minimal wage is 650$ net.My parents don't know about my girlfiend. At least I didn't tell them about her. I'm affraid that mother started her bullshit about ""some Internet girl that is more important that family"". She always using to argumentum ad onlinefriendum. ""Let your online friends cook for you"" or ""Go to your online friends, see if they can help you""Today my mom started a war. She telled me that I should pay more. My father doesn't give her any money. He started his own business and it's not going well. She started yelling at us that WE (me and my dad) don't give her more money, and she pays everything for us.We started adding up all the bills, food, etc. The calculations were rounded up. 4 people generate 1080$ bills and other costs. I paid her 250$ - exact one quarter of all costs. Also, I eat in restaurant sometimes (8 days in month - university days and a meeting with my gf), so the costs are going down to 950$.  I'm repaying my loans (200$/month). I'm paying for my university (200$). I have left 550$. It's a lot, but I'm saving money to move out. I have also gf. I want to go out with her sometimes.She said, that she receives $1,000 in Social Security.I said that I will not pay more. She started her bullshit about ""my online friends and how they are more important than family and that I'm going out for the whole weekends with them and spending lot of money there"". Yeah, I am sleeping in my gf house then.I understand, that father doesn't pay her enough. In the past, there were also problems with him paying money for me and my sister. But he is not my husband. I don't want to pay for his mistakes. I have enough my problems.Should I pay more to her? AITA for not wanting to pay her more money?",AITA for not wanting to pay more money?,NTA
10vt5xs,"So this involves me, and three friends, Nathan, Xavier and Tally- all fake names (For context we are all in high school)To put it bluntly, I've had a crush on Nathan for a while. This isn't just based on looks or a short passing crush. I've been dealing with these feelings for months, I really like them. I told Xavier and Tally about this a while ago, because I needed someone to talk to. I started hinting to Nathan that I liked them, and they were clear they didn't like me back. I wish that had been the end of my feelings but Nathan is one of my closest friends, and I spend a lot of time with them, so these feelings are still there.Then, a week or so after Nathan rejecting me, I find out Nathan and Xavier are dating. Honestly I was hurt because Xavier knew I liked Nathan and that I still had feelings, but Nathan and Xavier have been friends longer then anyone else, and they are really good people, so I got over my little feelings of jealousy and supported them.Or that's what I thought. Turns out I wasn't okay as I originally thought, it was killing me to see them lovey-dovey with each other while we hung out. So I decided I needed some space to deal with my feelings.On Friday I sent them both a text basically says ""hey, you guys are awesome people and I support your relationship, but for me, my own mental health and the future of our friendship, I need some distance right now.""So today when I went to school, they both left me alone, understanding that I needed space. Turns out though, they may be angry at me. I tried to talk to Tally today during class (we sit next to each other in bio). Tally is our mutual friend, and one of the best people I know. So I wasn't expecting her to lash out at me saying ""How could you do that to Xavier and Nathan? It was selfish for you to ghost them like that because of your little crush.""Apparently they have been going around telling people I ghosted them for no reason and I was being a horrible friend. Therefore the reason I came to Reddit. I am neuro-divergent and don't pick up on a lot of social cues, which has caused problems in the past. So am I the asshole here?",AITA for wanting some space?,NTA
10vt5q4,"So I (17F) haven’t had the best relationship with my mom, she has been mentally abusive since I was younger. Now that my 18th birthday is coming up in a few months I was thinking about how I wanted to spend it, my original idea was to fly down to a national park with my long distance boyfriend and spend 2 weeks there. I can’t afford a plane ticket so I thought another way I would want to spend it was to rent a hotel room all alone, order thai or Indian food (which my mom hates and would complain about the entire time), watch a movie, and go to bed early. I struggled horribly with depression and my mom didn’t show much interest in much of my life (from my perspective) so when I told her I wanted to spend my birthday all alone she became very angry with me and told me “it was my right to spend your 18th with you”. In the last few years of every single one of my birthdays she has found something to yell at be about even if I just sat still or slept in for the day. While I do see her point she won’t listen to my side of why I am wanting this, if I bring it up she starts to become a victim and goes and acts very sad on the couch. This is the only thing she has interest in but even if I talk about it she changes the subject to something about her work, it often feels like I can’t talk about things in my life so I don’t. Am I the asshole for wanting to spend my birthday in a way that will make me happy?",AITA for not wanting to spend my birthday with my mom?,NTA
10vr4wg,"Hey everyone so to start off, I have online friends I meant through gaming, and for those who don’t know we use an app called discord with voice channels for us to talk to each other. So amongst all of us we jokingly talk shit to each other we say stuff to each other just to fuck around and we all know we aren’t serious about what we say. So basically this one friend Brian (not his real name) likes to joke around and talk shit a lot and it’s never serious. Usually, me and Brian go back and forth and we both know the stuff we say to each other we aren’t serious. He does say some stuff that could get under my skin to an extent but I don’t bother saying anything to not cause trouble and I just brush it off. Last year we all decided we wanted to meet each other for the first time and I recorded our whole trip to make a vlog and recently made a video of our trip. Last December we watched it and he noticed in one of the recordings that he breathed heavily a lot he thought it was funny and made jokes about it, he is a little overweight to add context to it. This trip I mentioned will relate to the story. So fast forward now one day we were all talking on discord and randomly he starts shit talking me. Again I didn’t mind it, I just said a few things back it was fine, then he said some things that did annoy me so the whole thing about him noticing himself breathing heavily from our trip it popped into my head and I decided to come back at him and made a comment about that saying “bro, breath heavier.” All of our other friends were laughing like crazy but Brian just went quiet. I immediately realized that it was kinda fucked up so I immediately apologized and he just kept kicking me out of our discord channel then he just ended up getting off for the night. I immediately texted him right after apologizing because I felt guilty about what I said. His girlfriend, another friend in our group thought it wasn’t that bad of a joke and I was told by her that the comment I made he was assuming I was making fun of his weight which I wasn’t and I told his girlfriend that. She believed me and she also told me that she noticed that Brian always talks shit to me to the where he goes a little too far but doesn’t hold back sometimes Yet when I say something to an extent he gets mad about it even though he’s aware of the comment I said. I’m keeping my distance for now because I don’t want to join our discord channel and ruin his mood and eventually make amends with him. So AITA?TLDR: Friend talks shit to me and sometimes goes too far, I come back with a comment to him and he gets upset about it.",AITA for jokingly making a comment to my friend about something he’s already aware of?,NTA
10vsxbd,"Throwaway because some of my social circle has Reddit too. My boyfriend and I were hanging out with our Pokémon Go friends the other day and he had a question about a Pokémon from the main series games. He said “(other girl’s name), you play the main series, right?” and she said yes and answered his questions about it.I told him I also play the main series games, a while ago, and sometimes send him screenshots of things like glitches and shiny Pokémon I catch. He doesn’t play the main series games - just Pokémon Go.I know people forget sometimes, but I’m just not sure about why he asked her, instead of me 🤷🏻‍♀️WIBTAH if I brought it up with him, or should I just let it go?","WIBTAH if I told my boyfriend that I got a bit upset inside when he asked a female friend of ours if she plays main series Pokémon games, instead of me?",YWBTA
10vvcqs,"Our research title defense is scheduled for tomorrow. Our class was divided into four groups with five members each, much to my dismay. I’ve already heard enough horror stories from other students online on how this usually goes. One doesn’t participate, and your whole group falls apart. My group consists of three girls (including me) and two other guys. Now, this is where it gets tricky. Those two other guys aren’t really “the smartest tools in the shed” and I might sound like an asshole for saying that… But the rest of my classmates agree with me on this one. Like… once we got grouped and started asking each other on who’s the other members on their groups, they’ll shake their heads once they heard mine. “So we already got two down… But at least I have the two other girls to depend on to carry the group for them :))” I said to myself, one week ago. Well… yeah I was dead wrong. The first few days went by fine, we’ll talk to each other and assign tasks and go with our merry way. I try to communicate with them about it as much as possible, which was pretty hard for me considering I don’t even talk much to anyone or even at all in the first place, but I try anyways. Our “meetings” usually consists of me trying to initiate and suggest things on what we should do with this other girl while the leader either just stares at us, or is fucking around with her boyfriend. Though the other girl really isn’t much better either, her boyfriend’s also fucking glued to her so we  couldn’t really get much work done or even talk much about our research papers without me feeling awkward and just fleeing the scene as fast as possible. So, here I am now at my house, planning on how the fuck exactly are we gonna do this tomorrow. It really shouldn’t be that hard considering this is only the first chapter, but our research teacher has been hyping this shit up so fucking much that you just cant help but feel nervous. So yeah… AITA?",AITA for storming out on my groupmates?,NTA
10vsvgx,"(bit of backstory) .. i have a friend that I’ve known for years and in college we formed a “trio” with another person (ex friend). my friend and I ended up having a falling out with this ex friend for basically the same reason, except my friend had more of an issue with them due to the ex friend telling other people about some personal drama about my friend.my friend and I then agreed to not let this ex friend back in our life as it was becoming a pattern. after a couple of months, the ex friend messaged both of us and wanted to talk about her side of things. my friend was very adamant on doing so and would say that it’s her way of trying to become friends with us again. she would also make jokes about if I talked to her/became friends with her again that she would never talk to me ever againI’m the type of person who wants closure when it comes to these type of situations so a couple of months after, i replied to the ex friends messaged and agreed to talk about things. the conversation went well and I concluded that I wouldn’t hold any harsh feeling towards them. however, 4 months have passed and I never ended up telling my friend about the conversation between me and the ex friend and I woke up the other day feeling guilty about not letting her know, however I’m worried that if I tell her that I spoke with this ex friend, that she would immediately drop me as a friend.",AITA: lying to my friend,ESH
10vv49v,"Husband and I will be first time parents in April. It’s been a real challenge to agreeing to a name for our baby girl. We have made progress though and we are going with the nickname he wanted ‘CeCe’ but I am having issues with feeling happy in deciding a first name. Originally, back before we decided on the nickname, I had brought up the name Cassidy— not my first choice, but it is a name I like— but he shot it down, saying it was one of those ‘whitetrash’ names. It’s not a favorite of mine, just a name I liked enough. Months later though, when we were going through C names after deciding on the nn, I found another name I liked, Cleo. Clara was also in our list and was the decided first name for a while, but I just wasn’t happy with it as much either. Anyway, at the beginning I was just really excited that we were actually pregnant (we had gone through fertility treatment) and I was very open to sharing my name ideas with my husband’s parents. What I didn’t expect was how different and opposing our liking of names would be and with each dislike from my name list (for this reason or that), the more I felt that I was losing my privilege of naming my daughter. My husband, even though he’ll deny it, sides with what his parents like, and when we asked what they thought of Cassidy, and they said they liked that name, that name shot to the top of the list. His mother disliked the name Cleo and when my husband and I did a name ranking of our C names, Cleo was totally last lol. Clara was liked but I’m just not feeling it anymore, neither with Cassidy. I’m okay with Cassidy as a middle name and the nickname CeCe, I just would like to at least choose the first name. Is it me just being an ass for not settling or am I making some sense? What I know definitely is that if there is a next time, I do not want to ask either of our family’s opinions of our name ideas lol. I love my in-laws and they’ve been so good to me, but this has been a real challenge.",AITA for not being happy with our future baby’s name?,NTA
10vv1qb,"TLDR at bottom A few hours ago I went to the ER and while my husband was there with me every step of the way, the mini issue arose when we left. Essentially, my husband (24m) was hungry so we stopped for some pizza on the way back. Before he stepped out, I was reading something out loud (that he wanted me to read to him) he got out of the car and slammed the door in middle of my sentence.  No, he wasn’t angry. He just didn’t think it was necessary for me to finish my sentence (he confirmed this).  While this annoyed me, I brushed it off until my husband started to rush into the box of pizza to get a slice before we head home. Typically I don’t mind, but this man, this lovely man, smacks his gums and I feel annoyance to my core. I’ve asked him many times not to chew in the car if he can avoid it for short drives. Our apartment was down the road. He told me to stop controlling him, and he snatched the pizza from me and yelled. Okay. I can handle that. Then, my lovely husband decided to say that if I didn’t hold his hand while I was upset that he wouldn’t take the dogs out for their nightly walk (so the dogs can do their business). Mind you, considering I just left the ER and was under strict rules of lowering my heart rate and to not under ANY circumstances exercise or walk much, so I was really stressing out at this point and crying. He shrugged off me crying and rolled his eyes. I tried to say something later and he just held his hand up to my face and says that it’s been a long day so he doesn’t want to talk. For clarification, I was in class all day and he was at work prior to me heading to the ER (12-7). I know I’m just being dramatic and I’m not claiming this is some large issue. Yes, I’m sure we are immature and I’d really like avoid a lecture. My marriage was due to a unique situation, albeit I still love that man. No, the reasoning was not religious and I am from the US before anyone asks. I’d really just like to know if I’m being an ass for being upset and if it’s wrong that I’m semi avoiding him. (I’m still talking to him, just reduced). Also. I know this is minor in the grand scheme of things. I have difficulty understanding situations from time to time so I was just curious for input. TLDR I might be an ass for being upset because my husband cut me off and disregarded my doctor’s instructions",AITA for being upset with my (22f) husband (24m) after my visit to the ER?,NTA
10vusmq,"    My partner and I have been together for almost two years, and we have been living together for the majority of that time. He moved in with me and my at the time roommate, along with my two cats and my dog, right after graduating college. Before that, he would visit, and he loved my animals to death, playing with them constantly and even buying them toys. Fast forward a year or so, and that is no longer the case.    For the back story on my dog, she is nearly 7 years old and has been with me for 6 of them. She is a rescue, and I didn't have major issues with her until about 3 years ago. My roommate wasn't helping me take care of her as per our agreement, and she started a habit of soiling a specific corner of the apartment when she was left alone. I tried medications, cbd, diapers, everything, and even the vets weren't sure what exactly was happening. So I decided that I would use pee pads and clean after her whenever it happened, I've had special needs dogs before and didn't mind as she was always well behaved otherwise, but stress gets the best of her.    Back to the present, my partner, who has not signed up for a special needs pup, though barely helps to take care of her as is, has asked me to rehome her. His reasoning is that he's tired of coming home to a mess to clean and shouldn't have to deal with an animal like that. I typically am home before him as he works nights, and I prefer mornings and I have expressed that I have no problem cleaning after her because I adore her, but he's decided that she's to leave by the end of the month, or he's letting her run out of the front door, and won't let me get a word in on the matter. She's also been slowly making progress. Her accidents have not been as frequent, and the messes she's had have been smaller, but he won't listen or see it at this point.   I have told him that I want to keep her, that I love her, and that I understand that as a pet owner of an animal that has extra care attached to them that I accept the responsibility that comes with that. Every time that I bring up why I don't understand why that's an issue to keep her, he blows up on me and threatens the relationship. The conversation goes nowhere and leaves us angry and fuming with each other. I don't know what the right decision is at this point, and I'm so confused, but I also don't know if I'm missing something that he sees in this situation.   Am I the asshole for wanting to keep my special needs dog that I've had longer than I've been with my partner?",AITA For wanting to keep my dog when my partner is adamant on her leaving?,NTA
10vq4hf,"My family moved into a bigger house about a year ago, which meant the cost of housemaids would be more expensive. My mom wanted to save money and assigned each person (including my grandparents) to clean different areas of the house. I was assigned to clean up the kitchen and windows every day and I would switch with my sister each week. My sister is a very lazy person when it comes to housework and she would do anything to not do it. She would make excuses about having lots of homework (which is true) but yet she pulls that same excuse on the weekends. Long story short, I have been cleaning up the kitchen and windows for about a good 5 months straight. Today, after dinner my mom said for my sister and I to help clean up, and once again, my sister pulls the ""I have hw card"". I finally got sick of my mom letting my sister off each time and letting her get away with housework, and just started yelling at her. I kept complaining about how I'm not a janitor cleaning up everyone's crap,  toilets don't need cleaning like every week, and my sister had barely gone into the kitchen to help clean up.  My mom kept pulling the same excuse I was sick of hearing, ""Your sister is lazy but she is very hardworking. I will let her do the chores sometime later."" (which is never)I then went on complaining about how not only do I have to now clean up windows but I have to clean bathroom mirrors, the sink, clean up the toilet (including the underside which is really gross cuz there is piss and poo under), and wipe down the shower mirrors. the thing is my mom checks every little speck of the bathroom and mocks/scolds me for not cleaning it well enough. During the argument, I asked my mom to clean up the toilets instead since she wants the area to be completely clean and she went hysterical saying how she is my mother, she has done so much for me, and I should learn to respect her. The fight turns physical and I ended up sitting down and crying. My mom just keeps going on a tangent I couldn't really remember because at that point I was zoning out. So AITA for refusing to clean up the restrooms?",AITA for not cleaning up the restrooms?,NTA
10vlwem,"am i the asshole? so this happened to me today and i’m still in disbelief. i (18f) tutor a kid that lives in my aunt’s condo.  since it’s not that far from my house, when my parents can, they take me there and back home, and when they can’t i’ll grab an uber. usually my dad takes the car so i’ll call an uber to get there and my dad will pick me up. today though my dad didn’t take the car and instead left it home with my mom. since i’ll usually grab an uber to get there, mymom offered me a ride and i happily accepted it. during the car ride my mom told me she might pick me up late (i end the classes about 19:00 and she said she might pick me up at around 19:15). so after my class, i waited for my mom at my aunts apartment. it was 19:36 when my mom called me (already pretty upset) telling me she was already there and that i had to hurry because she had to pick up my dad. so in a hurry i left my aunts house, grabbed the elevator and walked all the way up to where the cars wait (it’s about a 5 minute job). i got in the car and she started yelling at me asking me what took me so long and why i wasn’t waiting outside for her already. mind you, whenever my dad picks me up, he’ll come inside or call me beforehand so i know when to get down. i told her that i didn’t know what time she was going to come so i expected a call from her when she was getting close, considering she told me she was going to be late (i had raised my voice at her and i understand that was wrong). she started yelling and telling me i NEVER knew when to admit i was wrong. she said i should’ve been waiting outside as soon as i was done giving the class because i knew she was coming and doing me a favor. she said that it was my job to call her and ask her where she was and then wait outside because that was common sense. i told her that i would have to wait outside in the cold for 36 minutes instead of waiting in my aunts house. i also said that i knew she was going to be late but i didn’t know HOW late so i couldn’t just wait outside and guess when she was going to come. she always tells me that if i’m going somewhere or going to meet someone I have to let them know when i’m coming so they’re prepared and not just show up, so whenever me and my dad pick her up we have to wait at least 30 minutes for her because we didn’t let her know beforehand. so i was in serious disbelief when she started yelling at ME and telling me that I never own up to my mistakes and accept that i’m in the wrong. i just don’t think i’m wrong this time. i could’ve done things to avoid the situation but i shouldn’t be held responsible and blamed for not doing them. i think she’s the one that doesn’t know how to own up to her mistakes.",AITA for not calling my mom before she came to pick me up,NTA
10vocle,"Someone sent me (40M) (I have a very similar email to my friends) a threat towards my friend's sister (45F). I called my friend (who for the rest of this story I will call Laura), and she (42F) told me that I was making it up, so I physically came to her and showed her the email yesterday... still thinks I'm faking it. Today she has threatened to take legal action against me for telling her that someone threatened her sister (had her address, phone number, name, private photos, etc.) Now, I can see her side in this, as I have done some stupid shit in the past, but that was about 20 years ago - this is something I would think someone would take seriously, which is why I brought it up to her. So, given the situation, AITA?By the way, please do not go easy on me. This may be my first post but I wanna know if I am truly the asshole or not. Thanks!",AITA For reporting something to a friend?,NTA
10vo91z,I (Male) have been dating my amazing girlfriend for around 3 months. This girl is seriously my world and I wanna spend the rest of my life with her. She told her parents about us around 2 months ago. I however have not told mine. They are very quick to judge and they’re strict. I’m just trying to protect her but it really bothers her and makes her sad I haven’t told my parents because I think she thinks I’m trying to hide her. I don’t know what to do because I’m scared to tell my parents but I hate hurting her feelings. AITA?,AITA for not telling my parents about my gf?,NAH
10vkms5,"This isn't the first time I've needed to travel on that date (this trip is somewhere between a vacation and an obligation, because I will enjoy the trip, but my sister could use a hand with her son and I'm more familiar with the destination). She is paying for a fair chunk of this, but not everything, so while I will spend money, it's not taking a lot out of family resources.I've been telling him about the likelihood for months, but it just registered that I'll be away on his birthday, which is at the very end of August, and a time when various scheduling conflicts are rife. We have occasionally gone away for his birthday, and I'm of course not planning to ignore the momentous occasion of his turning 58, but he's very upset that I will not be here on his birthday this year. He hasn't tried to ""forbid"" me, but there's a lot of carrying on and I think he's being silly. I have made it clear that I am not regarding my birthday as sacrosanct, and if he wants to go away by himself (which he keeps threatening to), that's entirely his own business.There is no way to move the date, and his big day is right in the middle of the trip.",AITA for traveling on my husband's birthday.,YTA
10vukiz,"I'm sorry for any weird sentences or mistakes, Eng isn't my first language So, basically. Me and my close friend (f and nb, 21 and 23) were in this online community for gamers and stuff. Most of the ppl there were women so we were comfortable. That until the admin of the group started being passive aggressive towards me. It was jokingly at first so I didn't pay too much attention, but the admin came to me and said that I was being too flirty and behaved like a bitch in heat. I wasn't offended, mostly confused since the admin also behaved like that but was, yk, trying to come off as a cold hot girl. She wasn't. I told her that. We disagreed. Then she came to me again with the same argument. I left the community but I wanted to return since I like the other ppl there (only my friend knew about the situation). I tried to talk to the admin, helped her understand that her behavior is just her being toxic to herself. She opened up to me and I discovered that she had a trauma. We talked more. Ig I wanted to help her because I was like her too. So... She said that she understands now and will work on her trauma without being hostile to others.A few days later I asked if I could return to the community and she said that her friends, other mods, didn't like the idea of me being there bc I was toxic — I wasn't , really. I cursed a bit, but not on her or them. She blamed me for the situation and said that it was my sensitivity that led to this problem, she also blamed me for being too friendly with everyone in the group. So I decided that it isn't worth it and blocked her. My friend, being aware of the situation, said that they will leave the community as well. And they didn't. When I asked why — they responded that I am being manipulative and toxic bc I make them choose. And this whole argument didn't involve them and they will stay and will communicate with the admin.But is it really toxic that I don't want my friend to be close with the one who slut shamed me?Mind you, we didn't have sex — just really flirty and suggestive.EDT: thank you all for being honest. I'll apologize to the friend for this. I didn't really think about it another way. I see how it felt from the outside now.",AITA for wanting my friend to stop being friendly to the ppl who offended me?,YTA
10vuj55,"So I 15m let my friend 15m borrow my school laptop charger in English last Friday. He typically asks me during English class to borrow it and I do and he usually gives it back to me after class so I don’t have to ask him. Last Friday we were playing a game in English since we finished our work and I forgot to ask him for it back no biggie I had it at 100% anyway and I figured he would give it back to me on Monday. Well come Monday and I asked him where it is and now he is claiming he flat out doesn’t have it. I told him that he was the last one who had my charger and we argued back and forth but I didn’t want it to turn into a fight so we stopped there but I definitely know he has it. It’s fine if he took it home with him by accident cause that happens. I’m just confused because he is the only person who usually ever asks for my charger and no one else has. So I told my mom about it and she said I am too nice and need to be assertive. Also side note, me and my friend have been friends since Kindergarten but grew apart and are in different friend groups and don’t talk much and I am scared of confronting him and he is kinda bold and loud and I am scared he is gonna start getting mad at me and getting agressive and it turning into a full blown argument cause that’s what I feel like will happen since he can be like that sometimes. But WIBTA for trusting my gut instinct and going up and confronting him for this? I know that for a fact he was last to use it but I am just scared about how I should go about this. What should I do? note: I have always been a nice non confrontational guy I have not ever been assertive and I feel like I might be a pushover and I will always forgive him no matter what. We are human and make mistakes, I just want my charger back.",AITA If I try to confront him?,NTA
10vpjj5,"I don't currently work due to my mental health problems but I do pay rent  (in the process of being diagnosed with bipolar while already having severe depression and anxiety)So I am expected to cook, clean, wash up, tidy, do laundry, put clothes away and tidy bedrooms including my mother's as she doesn't pick up after herself. I don't have many issues with this as I understand with her working and me being home every day but if I have even one day where I struggle to just wash up, I'm made to feel like I've failed. The constant loop of cleaning and not even managing to get out and do things because I'm so panicked about getting everything done so I don't get the silent treatment or condescending comments has started to drain me even further than what my mental health problems are. Because of this I've started to resent my mother. I've found myself not caring about what she has to say, how her day went or if she asks me a question it boils my blood. I don't know how much worse it will become but I want to know if maybe its expected? Or maybe like you guys might understand why I feel this way?",AITA for starting to resent my mother?,NTA
10vpay4,"Ok so for some context, I don’t exactly have the best writing skills so my fault if theres something that doesnt make sense. But my boyfriend and I been dating for almost 5 months now, in November or October last year my friend was telling me about this girl I should be worrying about because she was trying to go for my boyfriend. (keep in mind we are already dating between those times) And a week ago, my boyfriend told me about her and it sounded kinda familiar but I didn’t think much of it at the time. I realized who she was and I didn’t like her even more after that. Now the next day after he told me, me and my friend were talking about it and she had told me some stuff that he was doing with that girl. Lets say it was him being extremely super duper friendly to her flirting with him. Now of course I got upset, not jealous. I wasn’t jealous because I was more disappointed than jealous and upset. Now believe me, I have trust issues due to past experiences and people constantly mistreating me. So I ended up talking to him about it and we talked and I thought it was good, right? He told me he wouldn’t interact or talk to her at all. Okay well today I saw that girl walking with her friend and her friend was carrying a box of one of my favorite candies, Ferrero Rocher. At the end of the day my boyfriend gave me 2 of them and at the time I hadn’t even had time to think about what I saw this morning. I got in the car, ate them and then thought about it. I text him, “where did you get those candies?” “A friend” “which one?” “(class name), (girls name)” “I hate you”. I’m mad at him even more because my friend, the same one who told me to worry about that girl, told me that my boyfriend was talking to her. He was whispering across the class to her, walked up to her and was being super friendly. I don’t even know what to think now, it just makes me sick that he lied to me and I genuinely wanna throw up that chocolate. (Edit: I would like to say he has been blowing my phone up texting and calling me from all his accounts, his number and even his sisters phone. I think im wrong for not giving him a chance to talk but im too upset)",AITA for overreacting about my boyfriend giving me a gift that was offered to him by a girl i dont like,NTA
10vrbpl,"I recently just switched schools to go to a new highschool and I’m friends with this one girl (Sofia/not her real name) Sofia has three other friends who I never really fit into, but they weren’t rude and neither was I, even though they left me out a lot even if I tried to join in. About a month or so I told sofia that I felt like they were leaving me out and she was like “oh ok they’re just like that sometimes” and I was like “uh ok” a few days later she sends me a message about how she spoke to them about it and they all collectively agreed that I didn’t click with them, and that they think I’m different from them, but that she won’t change the way she is with me and that she thinks I’m a great person but I’m just not like them and that I shouldn’t take it to heart. I continued to walk with them even though friends (that I don’t go to school with) all said that I needed to find new friends and move on. And I really wish I had listened. Recently she has been talking very rudely about those same friends and tried not to say much since she could’ve just went around and told them and I wouldn’t know (which she did and I’m glad I was prepared) the only thing I said was that they were slightly rude and disrespectful towards others and she agreed but I said nothing more. Anyways a few weeks ago she sent me this paragraph about how her friends feel uncomfortable around me and the fact that I don’t like them. I responded back saying that I never felt this way? And she said well it seems like you do. All I said after was the only small problem I have is that they are very loud people in places where it’s quite obvious you should be quite but I had no problem and I had only mentioned it to her about two times. She had continued to bring up the fact that I thought they were too loud. She finished by saying that they would prefer if I go away during lunch because they don’t feel comfortable around me, mind you I mind my business and I’m just on my phone the entire time. I don’t know if I I’d anything wrong but I really like to know. Even though I don’t want to be friends with them anymore anyways. But was I wrong for telling them how I felt and is it bad that I feel that they are just collectively trying to be “mean” to me? I’ve never purposely done anything to make them uncomfortable I always smile and say hi even if I don’t engage in a conversation. Not looking for advice per say I would just like to know who was in the wrong here",AITA Did I mess up by telling my friends that I felt they were rude a disrespectful,NTA
10vtuxj,"so i have a really important science final coming up, it's the end of the semester and we haven't taken any other tests, so this could make or break my grade. my teacher has created a very long kahoot with everything we need to know to study from and a vocab packet that is for points. on top of that, she has assigned several other minor assignments that are also due the day of the final.​however, the vocab packet is extremely long and filled with words we don't need to know the exact definition of, just the general concepts. i can't not do it because the packet is worth points.​i had very limited time and many assignments to do for biology, along with a project from another class that was due the same day as my biology final. i wanted to be able to finish the project in time, as well as finish studying for the final, and i know that my teacher doesn't actually read our assignments when grading, she just makes sure they're done. so i did the vocab packet very messily and quickly (it was maybe eight full pages of straight writing - handwritten, so it took even longer). my mom came in and started yelling at me because my handwriting was so messy. i had spent the weekend working on my project and studying the kahoot, along with other homework/extracurriculars. she then questioned why i had not done the vocab packet over the weekend so i had time. i tried to explain to her that i wanted to study the material that would be on the test, not the vocab packet which would not have helped me very much and that i had a lot of work to do. she yelled that it wouldn't have taken very long and i should have done it neatly. i tried to explain again, but she cut me off. i was very stressed out about the finals, and i believe at some point i began crying and started raising my voice at her out of frustration. it turned into a screaming match.​i sometimes have issues with controlling my emotions. i feel like this could have been easily avoided if i had not raised my voice. my mom also does a lot for us - she works full time and cooks meals for us every day. she's probably under a lot of stress, despite not showing it, and i feel like i'm just adding to her stress. my mom says i need to stop being disrespectful and start doing my work properly and took away my phone (i hate when she does this, because she never takes it away for a set time, and just gives it back when she feels like it, which could be months to even a year sometimes later. music is a huge part of me, and listening to music makes me really happy. it's not the phone itself that makes me angry, it's the fact that she has no regard for what i feel, especially when it's been months after the argument).​essentially, i feel like my mom is being extremely unreasonable by getting mad over such a small thing and punishing me for it, but my mom feels i'm being disrespectful and slob (probably because i'm adding to her stress). aita?",AITA for getting into a screaming match with my mom about a homework assignment?,NTA
10vts7k,"It’s not a long story. I know it’s not common for a 14 yr old to be writing on Reddit like this but please hear me out. My parents, mostly my mother, would always show more affection towards my brother than me, but I tried to get over it and managed. Something like this happens a lot and I’m starting to wonder if I’m the actual problem, except that today I didn’t hold back. Well, my mom cleaned the entire house while we were out for school. I thanked her for it, he didn’t. I thought that would be the end of the story, just to join dinner for another one of my mom’s just saying bullsh*t to me. She kept telling me how it took her hours to clean my room and in the progress of telling me my room was horrible called it some names and it was very irritating. I knew the room didn’t deserve any comment like that. My brother had caused some trouble in the house, but I was somehow also responsible for it. So I told my mother that if she keeps talking to me that way I’d never clean my room again. She doesn’t know this but I’ve also had kind of a bad day, and I was already frustrated. She’d always blame it on my puberty and I’m now thinking I’ve did something wrong. So far they’ve shown no signs of regret. They keep making up arguments to justify themselves. That’s the end of the story, but I want to know if I’m the jerk…",WIBTA For yelling at my parents?,YTA
10vl70y,"alright here's what happened please forgive me grammar is not my strong suit so parent wants there 10 year old to learn how to ride no prob I have a mule her name is Millie, Millie is 20ish she tolerates everyone loves me and my fam. Millie won't go faster than a gaited trot with kids. so the parent comes over and hangs out and brings her kid everything is going good I get a halter and a pair of clip-on rains tell the kid to hop on kid says no I'm not riding without a saddle and bridle I says oh you know your tack have you rode before kid says yes so I get my hackamore it's bitless the bit is the metal thing that goes in the horse's mouth or mule, in this case, the kid says he is not riding without a bit parents tell me to put a bit on my mule ok fine I put her in a snaffle bit its the one she came with she doesn't mind it at all unless you are yanking on it hard like really hard I tell the child this and he says ok I won't do that I help him on tell him how to stop Millie and tell him how to make her move we are doing warm-ups I put down cones tell him how to maneuver thru them as a control lessen he starts yanking on the bit really hard I tell him hes pulling too hard and to stop her he does he got off i got on and shown him how to ride explained what i was doing on riding Millie he rolls his eyes at me gets back on starts yanking on the bit really hard again after serval warnings and corrections I tried telling him what hes doing is going to get him bucked off 20 minutes later after telling him to correct the yanking several more times and demonstrating how to ride Millie... Millie had enough she stopped I told the kid to get off he said no I said then ride properly he raised his voice and said I dont have to listen to you bitch he yanks on the reins and gives Millie the cue to go, Millie, rightfully so bucks him off he is not hurt physically no damage just his pride he goes crying to parents his dad is pissed his mom comes over to me and asks what happened I told her everything she gets her kid and says to him you didn't listen and you got bucked off that's on you his dad comes over ready to pick a fight his mom shut that down real quick I feel bad am I the asshole I could have said we are done and pulled him off but I didn't I let it happen edit i just found out kid is 15 not 10 he looks 10",AITA for letting a kid get bucked off my mule.,YTA
10vt4gr,"I (17 f) have a best friend (17 f) Julia and we both have a mutual friend (18 f) Margo, but my bff has know her longer than I have. Prom is still a ways away but since I’m always late buying my dresses this year I wanted to get ahead of everyone else. I was talking with my two friends about dresses and color and style ideas one day at school and the following weekend I went out to get a dress with my mom. I got a dark red dress with a cowl neck line and high leg slit. I sent pictures of it and the other dresses I tried on to my bff and she agreed that the one I ended up getting was the best and we briefly texted about silver heels and jewelry to go with it which my mom and I had already been looking at together. Fast forward to this next school week and my bff is at a doctors appointment so I’m hanging out with our friend Margo at school alone. I remember that I haven’t shown her the dress I got and showed her my pictures and talked about the silver heals I might get to go with it. At the time I didn’t notice anything off and we had been having very good conversations before and after this dress was brought up. Fast forward another week and I hear from my bff that Margo was upset that I got the same dress color and was looking at the same heal style she had talked about the week prior to me purchasing the dress. Apparently out of all the colors we had listed between the 3 of us the dark red she had brought up was the one she had been looking into the most and she had other friends steel her dress ideas the last 2 school dances so when I showed her my dress and heal ideas she thought I was trying to do the same. Until my bff told me about this I didn’t even connect the dots between my dress and the color Margo had been describing. I had tried on every blue, red, and green dress that looked as though it would flatter my body at the store and got the one I liked the best. Even Julia didn’t think about that conversation when I showed her the dress I got and as I already stated. My bff told Margo this and apparently she is no longer mad at me. I texted her to apologize and ask to talk to her face to face but she only responded “it’s fine” which we all know means it’s not. I started off feeling really sorry and sending her lots of apologies, to wanting to get a new dress, to wanting to tell her it’s just a dress color and to get over it, to almost saying I’ll help her get an even better red dress for herself. I’m over thinking everything right now and don’t want to loose a friend over a stupid dress. It’s not like I was trying to steal her idea or one up her which is why I think I’m so upset that she is upset since I don’t understand why this is as upsetting as it seems to be to her. I could also be over analyzing things. So aita for getting the same color prom dress my friend wanted? And what should I do to make things better?",AITA for getting the dress color my friend wanted and not thinking it’s a big deal?,NTA
10vx06d,"Hi l'm 14F. My mother is 48F and my father is 46M. | grew up in Western Canada but both of my parents are from the East. My mom was born in Montreal and my dad in Antigonish. For any Americans it's kind of like me being born in Idaho, my mom being born in Vermont and my dad in Maine.So they both had moved to our province (Alberta) and met there. They married in 2007 and as of December 2022 officially signed their divorce papers (separated in Feb 2020). The custody arrangement is 50/50 legal custody and we originally spent every other weekend at his house. Problem is back in April 2022 he moved back to Antigonish. So while the original custody arrangement is still in place we don't see him the amount we're supposed to.Yesterday my mom tried to get us new passports and although even with more legal custody she'd still need his signature, she couldn't get us them because he hadn't signed. And it will be like this with so many more things in our life simply because they're custody arrangement isn't set up properly. My mom says she doesn't want to fix it but it's annoying for me. I don't push her on it but I want to know if realistically l'm an asshole in this situation? I'm just worried because it's my life too and their drama affects me enough.",AITA for asking my mother to change the current custody arrangement,NTA
10vwzsc,"**I put ""friend"" in quotations because we've known each other for years but very recently, maybe 3 months ago, started hanging out**. A few weeks ago my ""friend"" ""Billy"" got into a but of trouble and could no longer legally drive his car so we agreed to a trade which just happened last night. It's a 2013 Buick lacrosse, a decent car. The other contents of the trade are irrelevant to the subject, namely, the car, so I'm going to leave them out as to not draw focus where it isn't needed. I arrived at Billy's apartment around 9 pm to make the swap and everything goes off without a hitch. We write up a bill of sale and he hands the title over to me. I had already made plans to trade the car to someone else for an SUV so we agreed that it might be easier to just sign the the title over to the next guy instead of him signing it over to me. He took what I gave him and cleared all of his belongings out of the vehicle and I drove it home. No more than two hours pass by and I get a message from him stating that he actually doesn't know if he could legally sell me the car because it's still registered to his uncle and that maybe it was a bad idea. Basically telling me he wants to swap back without actually saying it. He said his uncle might get passed about it etc etc which makes no sense because his uncle signed the title over to him originally. I'm almost 100% positive that he was just having second thoughts and that was the best excuse he could come up with. I told him that it's not like his uncle is going to report it stolen since since he's had it for months and asked him why his uncle would even care if he had already signed it over. He tired to continue building on that but I just wasn't buying it. I suppose it's worth mentioning that part of what I traded him could be consumed and which he had already done to a good portion. Eventually I just flat out told him that I didn't want to be a dickhead about it but a deal's a deal and I wasn't trading the car back. He then informs me that since he didn't sign the title over to me and just wrote a bill of sale that the car didn't technically belong to me and he insinuated that he'd force that hand to get it back. After that I stopped being civil and told him there's no way he's getting it back and I'd trash it before I let that happen (childish, I know. Ego came into play)AITA for not trading it back or was he wrong for assuming I automatically had to because he had second thoughts?","AITA For not trading my ""friend's"" car back to them",NTA
10vwz6s,"My GF (20) and I (26) have been hitting some snags in our relationship recently. We've been arguing and fighting more often then usual and it's been tense all around.She has recently just gotten back from taking a weekend trip to see her brother in concert several hours away. She had gone with a friend, lets call H (They/Them) that I don't particularly like, due to this person trying to convince her to cheat on me early in the relationship. H has since gotten in a relationship, supposedly, and my GF swears that they have no feelings for her. When my GF got back I asked if we could make plans to do a trip together somewhere, just the two of us as a getaway. She agreed.A few days ago she mentioned how she and H were making plans to hangout for a weekend again at the end of March. I asked her if we were taking pur trip before that and she said ""oh...I forgot""Today just before bed we talked about going to take my nephew a present for his birthday one day this weekend and she tried to claim that this was our trip. I said it doesn't count since we aren't staying and only going to hangout for a couple hours before coming home, not the weekend getaway we had originally talked about.She got mad and started going off on how we don't have the money to get a hotel and go off together and how can I expect us to do that. I shot back with how is it that when it concerns me and her we don't have the money but when it's her and H then there is no issues at all. She blew me off, so i grabbed a blanket and pillow and went to lay down on the couch. She said I'm being petty and that she isn't in the wrong.TLDR: AITA for getting upset that my girlfriend doesn't want to plan a weekend getaway with me and would rather plan one with a friend that crushed on her in the past?",AITA for wanting my GF to go on a trip with me before her friends?,NTA
10vq69p,"So today was my last day off of work before i went back tomorrow and i spent the day with my gf triss we went out to eat i bought her a thing or two and we finally were getting ready to leave and go home after a really fun day until we are driving home and my mom calls. now a little background my mom and gf don't get along because of how my mom has seen triss treat me in the past and triss doesn't like her. Now triss not liking her are too big and too deep to get into here so i will just leave it at that. So anyway i get the call and answer it and she asked to see how i was doing wondering what i was up to i told her all the things i did today and she asked me if i was busy Friday. I told her im working friday and she said she was just wondering because she wanted to know so we could hang out because we haven't seen each other in awhile i left it at that said goodbye and hung up. Triss got a little sour after that i asked what was wrong and she said nothing i said what is it and she just said i wish i was invited i told her no plans were made and she got mad saying but if they were i wouldn't be invited because im never invited. And she started in on me about how i always spend too much money on her and my family and when i go out with them i never answer my phone when im with them im sorry, i got like four people talking to me at once i get distracted and can't pick up my phone so now she isnt talking to me.  Am i the asshole",AITA for answering my phone because my mom called,NTA
10vwy1h,"So for context, my(27F) husband(Dylan29M) is from another country (South Africa), and he was born and raised in a city where it got up to 32 degrees celsius during winter. This obviously means that things used for really warm weather here, (crop tops, really short shorts, tank tops, etc.) were the norm there. Kids as young as 9 would wear crop tops and short shorts, and nobody would bat an eye.But he moved to my home-country a few years ago, and that’s where we reside. A few members of his family also live here, others remain in South Africa, others live in NZ or Canada. He’s one of the only guys my parents have approved of. I grew up really conservative so my parents didn’t approve of a lot of guys whether it be due to their race, family, or jobs. Of course, he met all my parents criteria.So, his sister(Lisa, 28F) is one of the family members that stayed in South Africa, she came to our country to visit the family. She alternates who she stays with because she can’t stay with everyone at the same time, obviously. She is currently staying with Dylan and I. The problem took place when their cousin invited a lot of family over, including some of mine (siblings, parents, etc.), but Lisa was also invited.Lisa had never met my parents before, but she knew what they were like so I thought she’d understand. Plus, she knows how I view things. Lisa hasn’t ever been the type to go against your beliefs or argue with them unless they were hurting anyone, she’s a very relaxed and open-minded person.The day of the event came and Dylan and I were getting ready, Lisa was already prepared and waiting in the living area. It was a fairly hot day, so I understand her wanting to dress accordingly but she was wearing a dress with an arguably deep neckline, and it had cut outs at the stomach area, it was around mid-thigh length. I politely asked her to go change at first, but she refused. Said it was a family event and that nobody would care, except my parents. She and I started arguing about this but Dylan was getting impatient and demanding we leave soon. At some point Lisa just said she wasn’t going and left to go visit one of her friends. Dylan has been pissed at me, and more than half the people at the event were disappointed she didn’t show up. I don’t think it was an unfair ask, especially considering the fact that she can’t expect everywhere to be like her home country.AITA?If there's any necessary info I might've excluded, just ask.",AITA For asking my SIL to Cover-up,NTA
10vww04,"Me and my (male) best friend have been friends for 3 yrs now. We go to the same school, but He lives in a different country, so he has to go to online classes. Sometimes I don’t get time to chat with him since I go f2f (face to face). So back then when the pandemic started, he came to the same school as me (Currently in the present time I have been in the school for 16 yrs ), he didn't do his assignments on time, didn't review for quizzes, etc. Since I’m helpful and I like to help people out. I would help him do his assignments and when he doesn’t review for a quiz, he asks me for answers and since I’m kind hearted, I give him my answers in the quiz. And I always do it. Some of my friends tell me, I shouldn’t be doing that and I should stop it cause it isn’t right. Tbh, I agree with them, but since I’m generous. I couldn’t do that.    So a few weeks ago, we would have exams in a few weeks. And our teachers told us what we would review for the exams and being a good student I would listen to the announcements, but when I saw my (male) best friend that he was online in discord just playing valorant and not listening to our teachers about the requirements for the exams. (Btw when they announced it, it was online, so we were in a google meet.) Ofcourse, I knew he wouldn’t listen and would just use me again.    So 1 more day and exam day tomorrow. At midnight, I made reviewers,listed everything, memorized  important stuff, and read until my brain cells burned out. And at 11:42 pm, I got a notification on my phone and it was from my (male) best friend. The message was, “Hey (my name), do you know what we are going to review for the exams?” I decided to ignore his message and he kept spamming my messages until I had seen or replied. After a few minutes, he had stopped spamming my messages.    The next day, I went home early just to call my other (female) best friend. She also lives in a different country and she also goes to the same school as me. I helped her in science since she didn’t understand the lesson. I volunteered to help her. And she got called by our teacher and she had to do the exams I had recently. So, we both said goodbyes and ended the call. After a few minutes, I got a message from her saying “Girl, I just got a message from (my male best friend) saying, “wanna help each other for the exams?” and I was laughing since he was gonna use my other best friend. I told her to reply to him saying “why? Did you even review for the exams?” and he responded with, “nevermind. Yes, I did review.” and we didn’t reply to him the same goes for him. But sometimes, I feel guilty for not helping him. So, AITA for not helping my best friend??",AITA for not helping my best friend.,NTA
10vickk,"So my dad (M53) it's currently in a relationship with his girlfriend (F45) and have been for almost 2 years For reasons I dont have clear, she has been living with us (Me, my dad, Grandma (F78)) for the past 9 months They have what I consider a Toxic relationshipShe's very jealous, to the point where she has my dad with her Location turn on 24/7She can't stand my dad's coworker (F43) because she thinks she's the other woman (Wich is not, (F43) it's really nice and married, I've known her for the last 4 years and she's really nice, but keeps distance as my dad's friend/co worker Last week my dad's girlfriend make him so mad, he kicked her out of our house She started looking at my dad's phone, and just lost her mind when she saw my dad was texting his coworker at 10pm about something about work (He show me the conversation, it was just work related)(My dad works as an Personnel Transport Operator, the one who drives people from a point outside a city to a Factory/Company, so he has work schedule either really late or really early on the day, so it's normal for him to receive calls at 5am, 12am, etc.)They fight so bad, she even went on and use my grandma as a shield telling her she just wanted a faithful boyfriend, that he didn't care for her, she started screaming to my dad and saying things like he was a cheater, the shittiest she's been with, that his a loser, a terrible man, etc.At some point, she even started talking about things that have nothing to do with the problem and just called my dad a poor operator with no futureI got mad because she demanded to talk about my dad's ex's, which obviously included my momShe said that maybe they weren't worthy but she was, and she didn't deserve that kind of treatmentWhen I heard that, I just went straight to her and saidIf you got something to talk about my mom, you better say it to me, not him She's worth more than you, that's for sure, so you better tell me what's the deal and why are you saying all that She just started crying saying I was just like my dadOf course my dad was furious So at 2am, he left her at her house and didn't speak to her until know Apparently they talk and decided to give it another tryOn my side, I'm mad Mad at her and she has lost any opportunity on having a good relationship with meI can't even look at her, I'm just disappointed my dad could let her have a chance She came yesterday to apologize to my grandma for the scandal she made When she tried talking to me, I just slammed my rooms door on her face I can see my dad is sad I can't have a relationship with her But she made this, and I don't give second chances And not after what she said, and watching how hypocrite she can be around my grandmaSo am I the asshole?",AITA for ignoring and just making like my dad's girlfriend does not exist?,NTA
10vwqa4,"Me (44M) and my wife (43F) got into a disagreement last night about acting, characters and suspension of disbelief.  I have a very hard time watching “behind the scenes” type shows and content because it usually ruins the movie or show for me.  She on the other hand loves watching that kind of stuff and seems to enjoy it more than the actual movie or show it is talking about.  I have no problem with seeing actors and actresses out of character, but don’t like listening to them talk about specific characters or movies/shows that they have done.   I think this stems largely from having most of my fiction come from books while growing up, so every character was very unique in my imagination.  I obviously know that different characters are played by the same performer, and that doesn’t bother me as long as they don’t talk about “how the sausage is made” as it were.  She on the other had did dance and theater in high school and college so is far more interested in the way a show was produced rather than the content of the show.  This usually isn’t a problem and we can watch stuff together and enjoy it.  Afterwords, she goes off to IMDB to find the trivia and goofs and I go off to find out about the characters and world lore.   We also both have engineering degrees and have taught.  She has taught high school and community college classes, and  I have taught community college and university classes in engineering.  We both obviously understand the “teacher persona” you have to adopt when teaching and the fact that teaching is very much playing a role, much like acting.Last night the disagreement got a little out of hand and she said “everyone is always playing a role” and that I was being unreasonable for expecting anyone to ever reveal their true self or true feelings.  At first I tried to convince myself that she was just talking about celebrities.  After trying to clarify the statement it became clear that she really meant \*everyone\*, herself included.  I’ve always thought that we had a very honest and trusting relationship, but now I’m wondering what “character” she plays with me.  WIBTA if I asked her what character she plays when she is with me, or if she has ever been honest with me?",WIBTA if I asked my wife if she’s ever been honest with me?,NTA
10vpp2g," So, I (18F) have been dating a guy (21M) for 3 years, we even live together, and things have been great so far, but today we had the worst fight of our relationship. Ever since we began dating, his family has made it pretty clear they don’t really like me, specially his brother and mother. For context, his father basically called me a slut when I first met him, his mother recently called me lazy in the middle of a gathering and his brother said I was the reason my mother was unhappy (because I’m autistic and she still has to take care of me). I swear I haven’t done anything wrong! In fact, I barely even know them (they were terrible to my boyfriend growing up, so he chooses not to see them that often). What bothers me the most is that my boyfriend never defends me, he even laughed once when I complained about it and said they were like this with everyone and that I shouldn’t take it to heart. Well, I’ve explicitly said many times before that I didn’t want to go out with them anymore, and yesterday he asked me to. I caved in and they insulted me (surprise lol), so we had a small fight and I asked him to never make me go out with them again. He agreed and said he was also going to stop talking to them (for his own reasons). So imagine how surprised I was when I found out that not only was he talking to them, but that his brother called me stupid because I’m an introvert (again, I’m autistic) and he knew and didn’t plan on telling me or calling his brother out for it. Not only that, but my bf was going to ask me to stay out of a plan we had made a week ago so that his brother could go. I told him I was done and that I didn’t want to make him choose between me and his family, but he is now telling me he will never speak to them again. I really don’t want to be the reason for that, but the alternative would be breaking up! AITA?Edit: he’s not a predator, he just had his birthday and I’m having mine in march. We’re actually two years apart and were both minors at the start of the relationship.",AITA for asking my bf to take my side instead of his family’s?,NTA
10vk6yl,"I (f16) have some online friends. I met Hannah (f14) a few years ago through her sister (f16). Hannah is **gorgeous** and often gets the attention from many guys. The problem is she gives the attention back to them all & its many boys. Like 20+. She'll talk to them & then drop them. She talks to guys all over the country and even some from Mexico, Canada & even one from France. She's even lied about her age before saying she's 16-17 and gets different apps just to get more followers, more attention, and more boys. There was even one point where she had so many guys texting her she lost track of who was who. After years of listening to her go on and on and on about boys, I got fed up with her and texted her that she was annoying and that i couldn't keep being friends with her if the only thing she would text me for is to talk about different guys and she replied back that i shouldn't care what she does with her life because i live years away so it shouldn't matter to me. She told her sister about it and she cursed me out & her sister told her friends and they all attacked me, made fun of my looks, and commented on all my posts telling me to apologize.AITA?",AITA for getting mad at my friend?,ESH
10vwgje,"My good friend and I have toddlers she wants to go Disneyland Paris for her Daughters birthday. Our kids play well together so she invited me to go with her. She will be driving her van from the UKWhen 15 year stepdaughter heard about plans she got really upset because she never been and wants to go.This is why I don't want to bring her. Last year i went to las Vegas because family wanted to meet my baby. It was a time my husband could not go because of work but ask me to bring SD for the experience.So I took her and she was only 14 at this time (she looks much older for her age, tall and  wears make up and can pass for 20+)While staying st my brother's house she snuck out as at night and met up with people she met online... The whole trip was ruined.. luckily my brother is a cop and his house had camera and we were able to track the car right away. She met her 21 and up online friends and when we confronted them they told us she said she was 21 and they showed us the messages. She basically met them a month before the trip and told them she just turned 21 and wanted them to take her clubbing or any night club. This was only the first night. The next day she kept throwing tantrums that she really wanted to go night clubs and she's old enough it's not fair..she goes to the pubs in the UK etc...my brother was not having it. We took her to the strip area to walk around and sight see the third day she ran away again. We had to spend hours looking for her and finally found her at outside a casino and she had a drink in her hand because she told someone she was 21 to get it for her At this point we had to just stay home because of fear she would run away again. She began to destroy some of my brother's picture frames and other valuables. We had to cut the trip short and paid extra and go back to the UK. My husband and her mom did not really Discipline her because they are scared of upsetting her. They also told me not to tell anyone what she did. They claim that she's a very sweet girl and she was only excited to do the las Vegas thing. Now I am being pressured to take her to Disneyland with me and my friend and being called an Asshole evil Stepmom from his family members because I just told want to take her because I don't have time to look for her, my brother was a cop so we had resources in las Vegas to look for her when she ran away. But being alone with her in Paris I just can't handle the stress and want to enjoy it with my friend, toddler and her kid. AITA?",AITA for not not wanting to take Teen Step Daughter with me to Disneyland?,NTA
10vs1q1,"First post, sorry it's long TL:DR below   My girlfriend and I have been dating for around 7 months. Any relationship comes with some stress, but some scenarios I can't make sense of and I don't know if it's me missing something. This one for example made me feel weird and ended in a way I couldn't really predictMy Girlfriend and I sometimes have to go to her parents. After staying and talking with everyone for a bit and playing with the dogs I usually go and play videogames with her little brother. (I'm M:20 and he's M:14.) He's surprisingly good at smash bro's, around the same skill level as me as he beats me quite often. After a few times playing with him a few times I thought it would be cool to friend him online so we can play more and practice. I asked my Girlfriend today to text him, seeing if he would want to add me as a friend to play.    Her response caught me off guard saying ""No, Leave him alone."" Followed by ""It's weird and unnecessary."" I thought it was a kind gesture, after all we got along playing in person and it wouldn't be a everyday thing or anything. She re-stated he was 14, has friends his own age, and the gesture is more weird than nice. I pried a little deeper saying people of different ages can have the same hobby and that maybe she's the one looking at it weird. I was quickly told otherwise, being called weird myself, and told to drop it.   I finished by saying that I don't think I'm not weird. How I just wanted to bond with her family any same way I could. This was shot down immediately with her telling me that her family doesn't like me at all. For a bit of backstory, me and her have struggled with getting her family to like me and vise versa. We are very opposite people, and go about problem solving in different ways. From the outside its very easy to perceive that we don't like each other's company.Her ""adoptive"" family was the exception, actually seeming happy that I was in their company. We had good conversation and; again, I got along with their son through similar hobbies. Apparently that changed sometime recently and she only felt she had to tell me now.I told her what she said was very rude and I am struggling to see anything in her point of veiw. But the conversation didn't seem like it would go anywhere so we had to drop it. I still don't know how I should feel.Thank you so much for reading TL:DR belowI played videogames with my girlfriend's little brother, after asking to add him as a friend online, I was called weird and later told her family doesn't like me anymore. I don't know if related or what happened but the Convo felt weird.",AITA For Trying to play Videogames with GF's Little Brother?,NTA
10vih5y," I, Jessica 23F have an already rocky relationship with my mother 50F. A couple of days ago her and her bf Daniel 48M  got into an argument (I am not sure how the fight started as I was not there. All information is from my brother Sam 19M  and mother). During the argument he called Sam useless and disrespectful, called my mother a b word, a cheater and said I was useless and ungrateful but he did not stop there. Daniel also said ""Jessica will spread her legs for any N word (but said the word) around. Her boyfriend should get a DNA test on their son because there's no way he's his real son."" Me and my boyfriend (Jackson) 22M have a 2 year old son together and we conceived a month after Jackson returned home from the Military. Jackson is the only man I’ve been with. Daniel thinks that my best friend (Liam) 22M and I had a sexual relationship while Jackson was away and that my son is a result of that. (To put race into perceptive everyone in the story is white excluding Jackson, our son, and Liam). Liam and I have been friends for 11 years and I view him as a brother, sleeping with him is the last thing that has ever been on my mind. Liam has had a crush on me in the past but I have always made it clear to him that I will never be available to him and he accepted that a long time ago. I want to add that I live with my mother while I finish college and Jackson and I plan on moving in together after. Daniel also lived in this house until this argument occurred. Liam has only been over to my house a handful of times and only in the living room other than one night when Jackson myself and Liam all drank together, and Liam slept in my guest room. I have never been in Liam's house and we always meet in public (I do this on purpose because of his past crush on me, he has tried to make moves on me in private, never while me and Jackson were together, so keeping it public is the best way I could think to keep things platonic in his brain without losing my best friend). I have never slept with him and never will, and I have never reciprocated any feelings or misled him. Jackson and I know that our son is his, Jackson trusts me and knows that I am not the kind of person to do these things. My mother wants to let Daniel back into our lives and I am not okay with it. My mother kept us all in a very toxic household with my bio-father and doesn't know when to walk away. I cannot forgive Daniel for calling me a slut, questioning who my son's father is and calling Jackson the N word and also just using the word so casually. I told my mother that if she took Daniel back I would move out and would not want to see Daniel or her (for not sticking up for me). I think I am the a\*\*hole for making her choose between us and basically telling my mother what to do. I don't want to never see my mother again because she does do a lot for me and is all around a decent mother we just don't get along the best.",AITA for giving my mother an ultimatum?,NTA
10vjdlm,"I (31F) live in the same apartment building as my grandmother (86F), dad’s mom. Grandad died when I was 8, she never remarried and has lived alone in her very small 1 bedroom apartment ever since.My aunt, her daughter, has tried many times having my grandma move in to the spare bedroom in her house, but Grandma is very stubborn and doesn’t want to leave the apartment she has lived in for the last 30y. No one blames her. We just worry an elderly woman is living alone.About 4 years ago, she adopted a couple of cats, brother and sister, spayed and neutered. They are very mellow and sweet, very gentle and lovely, and have always been low energy pets.About a year ago, grandma’s apartment got broken into while she was on a weekend trip. A few days after, she adopted a 3mo male puppy, Max, at a street adoption fair. She was convinced that if she had a dog, it would have barked and avoided the break in.It was the famous Brazilian caramel dog! They said the dog wouldn’t grow too much. Boy, they were wrong. Max grew to be the size of a border collie. Since it’s a small apartment, he has zero space.Grandma only walks the dog once a day, for about 15 minutes so it can go to the bathroom. When he has to go again during the rest of the day, it goes on the puppy pads spread out around the place.Also, he’s very badly trained: he keeps jumping on people who visit, scratches us with his big nails, barks nonstop unless we give him attention, bites as way of playing, destroys furniture and shoes to let out anxiety and terrorizes the poor pair of cats, that spend all day hiding on top of the washing machine cause it’s the only place Max doesn’t get to them. The moment they put one paw on the ground, Max wants to play catch and runs them all over the small apartment. They only come down at night, cause that’s when grandma takes the dog into her room to sleep.We tried reasoning with grandma for the last whole year: we suggested professional training, hiring people to walk the dog a few times a day; I even volunteered to walk him. Grandma said no.A couple weeks ago we heard from a member of her church that she told them Max tripped her on one of their morning walks, trying to chase a random dog. Grandma is a small woman, she doesn’t have the strength to hold him back. And now I can’t even try to help, because I just found out I’m pregnant and it’s a high risk pregnancy.I check on her everyday with calls and random drop ins at her place. Me, dad and aunt have been discussing what to do, because it might not be Max fault he’s badly trained and have this much energy, but unfortunately he’s a danger to my grandma, and the topic of maybe rehoming him came up. We know she would never agree, but if we just go and take him, there really isn’t much she’ll be able to do to physically stop us.So, would I be the asshole if I agree to this plan and help them rehome the dog against my grandma’s wishes?",WIBTA if I rehomed my grandma’s dog against her wishes?,YWBTA
10vj5b2,"I (36 M) called in at a small-ish pub for a quick pint and a bite to eat with my fiancee (31 F) on our way home from a day out.When we sat down, there were pair of women behind us with a baby and another young girl aged approx. 7 or 8. They were chatting away happily enough, and we didn't pay much attention - my fiancee and I were just talking between ourselves and enjoying our food.About 10 mins later two men arrive and join the women. One of them is obviously a bit drunk and is complaining that he hasn't seen his child all day, and starts talking loudly and obnoxiously about their friends and family and how annoying they are etc... He picks the baby up and starts singing to it to put it to sleep - fair enough.A bit later on the two women leave, leaving the two men to look after the kids. All seems to be well until the 7 or 8 year old daughter started playing with some cushions on a sofa in the pub after she was asked not to. The dad starts shouting super loudly at the kid and calls her a ""fucking idiot"", which obviously wakes the baby up. When the baby starts crying, he blames that on the 7/8 year old - ""look what you've done now"" etc...Next, he starts asking her about something that happened earlier in the day where she had not done what she was told by one of the two women (presumably mother or stepmother). He said ""I want you to tell me what happened, and don't give me one of your fucking bullshit stories"".Both me and my fiancee couldn't believe what we were hearing. In my mind this is just plain abusive behaviour from an adult towards a child, especially of that age. I was actually surprised that the friend he had with him didn't say something to pull him up on it.We got up to leave at this point, and for some reason I couldn't stop myself from asking him why he thought it was alright to talk to his daughter like that.Needless to say, he absolutely lost it. He handed the baby to his friend so he could square up to me, and asked me if I was a parent (I'm not), and then told me because I'm not a parent I have no business commenting on how others raise their kids.  In my mind, that's irrelevant when the parent's behaviour is as shitty as his. If he's prepared to talk to her like that in public, I seriously worry what he's like with her behind closed doors.Luckily, it didn't end up getting physical, and me and my fiancee walked off and left the pub after a few back and forth insults.So, am I the asshole here? Should I have just left him to it? Was I right to confront him and question his parenting? My fiancee definitely thinks I didn't handle the situation smartly, and I keep playing it over in my mind to see what else I should have done.",AITA for telling a stranger off for swearing at/bullying his daughter?,NTA
10vofus,"I M(20) am sharing a dorm with my roomate, as part of a 6 person suite. One of my roommates, however, is constantly so loud on the phone. I don't have any issue with him making calls to people (as I myself am on the phone to my girlfriend pretty frequently as we're long distance) however he refuses to use his airpods/headphones. He is a pretty loud person as it is, but when he puts his calls on speaker at full volume it's so much louder. These calls sometimes last hours as he plays video games with his friends/girlfriend. This is frustrating to me because I always try to be respectful to him (for example, by being quieter when I know he's sleeping or taking my calls outside when it's early in the morning) Lately, however, he's gotten so loud that my girlfriend can hear him over me, despite my microphone being right by my face- this makes it hard for us to spend time together like watching movies or shows because she can't hear anything except his conversations. We are both long distance so, unfortunately, the only way for us to spend time together right now is on call. This means I spend most days in the common area, spending hours on an uncomfortable sofa so he can remain in the room and I can watch things with her. Last night, when I was trying to get some sleep, I finally asked him if he would mind wearing his airpods, to which he agreed and I hoped that he would continue to do so in future. Instead, I've now noticed there's a degree of animosity between us and unfortunately his calls since then have remained on speaker. Lately, I feel like I have no escape from it because some of the other guys from our suite have started using the common room to also take their calls on speaker. This makes me question whether I'm overreacting to a normal thing. I just can't imagine doing that myself and subjecting people to my conversations. I wouldn't mind it as much if he'd just wear his headphones so that the volume isn't essentially doubled but he never does. I don't want to take further action before I know whether or not I'm in the wrong, so AITA? (Just to be clear, when I am on the phone with my girlfriend we are typically just watching shows together and talking at a low volume, if at any point I'm being louder with her I take it outside)",AITA for asking my roommate to put some earphones in.,NTA
10vizqo,"My bf (37) has a group of friends and they like to go to shows, drink a lot, and partake in certain things that I (32) can't be around that due to my line of work and I also just don't really want to be around certain illegal things. We met at a show and have been dating off/on for almost 2 years. Since I can't be around that stuff, I don't choose to hang out with them as a group much. I used to be not so great and wanted to always be around if he was out. He complained a lot about never going out to the clubs with them and specifically without me (because I didn't always want to go). I felt like an asshole and  I realised that it's not my place to dictate that so these past few months I changed my tune and said I didn't care anymore, for him to hang with them as he pleased. However, instead of him doing that I found that he has been complaining saying I'm controlling (even when I've told him to go ahead) and has made me out to be terrible. He also has a temper and blows up over small things to the point I get scared. He says mean things like ""I hate you"" and calls me names -him acting this way is partly why I just gave in and said go ahead and do whatever (in hopes he would stop his tantrums and just go and leave me alone...) but instead he continues this hurtful behavior and doesn't go do anything...  Instead, he just keeps making me feel like I'm an asshole. AITA?AITA? (I didn't really know what to put as a title so sorry if it doesn't totally align with this)edit: adding a reply to commentsTo leaving him: I have before (we've been off/on for 2 years) but his friends would always come up to me when I was out to the point I either didn't go out for a while or just ended up getting back together with him because they wouldn't leave me alone. He also resorted to bullying me online. For clarification, I did block him on socials before when this happened but he made a throw-away or had his friends do it for him I guess. I also had random numbers messaging me saying ""wrong number but let's talk anyway..."" which I blocked, found strange and now guess it might have been him, I don't know.\^I think this is part of why leaving him seems hard. I feel like I'm still going to have to deal with him or his friends after and it's overwhelming. I have since, gotten off of all social media and don't go out much at all anymore so maybe it won't be as big of an issue.",AITA for not wanting to be around a particular type of crowd?,NTA
10vkcct,"Pretty self-explanatory, I feel. My downstairs neighbour (?f) moved in about 6 months ago and has a male visitor around most, but not all evenings. Shall we just say, I know a little too much about the intimate areas of their relationship due to a loud headboard and even louder vocal cords. I didn’t notice at first because my nearly teenage daughter slept in what is now my bedroom until one day she brought me into her room to witness what she had to put up with most nights. I swiftly swapped rooms with her because I felt that if one of us had to be exposed to that, it would better be me than her. I have adapted my nighttime routine to include music and earplugs (neither of which reliably drown it out) and I’m getting to the point where I just wish I had said something sooner. I get woken up by it on the weekends too.I don’t want to embarrass her but it’s getting really unbearable now. Should I post a note in her letter box? She’d know it was from me as I’m the only person who shares an adjoining barrier with her. If so, any suggestions on how to delicately put it?",WIBTA if I sent a note to my downstairs neighbour about their bedroom antics?,NTA
10vvljj,"so I ( Nb15 ) am of mixed race, my father is mexican and my mother is white, I am white passing. My father was deported when I was young and I did miss out on a lot of the culture I think would’ve shaped me to be a more well rounded diverse little rat. K so a month ago my friend Layla had a party, it was her birthday and we all went to some rando’s house, laylas mothers side is hispanic and a lot of my other hispanic friends were there, we were joking around throwing insults and calling each other the B slur, W slur, S slur all hispanic slurs ect and this guy from school Daniel ( m18 ) walks up to me and tells me i need to stop saying those things, daniels kind of known for telling people what they can and cannot say, i’m all for putting people in their place but i explained my parentage and their races and he got all pissy and told me white passing people can’t say slurs and specifically told me I am white, daniel is a POC and ig i can see where he’s coming from but he’s not even hispanic he’s asian, we’re arguing back and forth and he tells me i’m white again and I explain everything again like i’m talking to a baby and say “ yeah i’m not the right color for you i get it, ever heard of a punnet square d*ckhead i didn’t choose this “ daniel shuts down and hasn’t spoken to me since. Maybe calling him a d head was too far but i was fed up, so AITA?",AITA for proving someone wrong and calling them a d head,ESH
10vlp4j,"Hi everyone! This will be long. I am 22, and my husband is 23 — we’ve been together since i was 16. We live with his grandmother in the basement and pay no rent or bill, but pay our to our wi-fi bill, groceries, storage, phone bills, and fully support ourselves. His grandmother basically provides the roof over our head which ofc i am extremely grateful for. Within the basement is my husband, myself, and his mother. She is an undocumented immigrant but is also an able 40YO, right now she has no job, and is not looking for a job at all, because she is focusing on her “mental health”. Which really just encompasses her not having her papers in America. Her days consist of laying on the couch, watching tv, and eating. I think she needs a job, she can be a nanny or something— just money to provide for herself. I just graduated uni and have an entry level job $42K, with student loans. My husband is still in school and works part time. Things are tough for us financially and we are trying to save for our future: car, an apartment, roth ira, etc. Id also love to get my masters in within the next 2 years. The recent issue has been groceries. We have a $400 budget for food each month which also covers me making my lunches at home some days.  Simply put is it wrong to ask his mom to get a job to contribute toward groceries? I don’t think a $400 budget is enough for 3 people to eat meals for a month.",AITA for asking my undocumented MIL to get a job if she wants to use our groceries?,YTA
10vi6q4,"My girlfriend and I live together. We had planned to do some activity on a Saturday morning, which required us to leave our house by 8:30am. I am the type of guy that can get ready in 15 minutes but my girlfriend takes about 1.5 hours, which is taken up mostly by hair and make up. She sets her alarm at 7am and I am a late sleeper so i usually dont wake up before 8am on non working days. I don't really see the point of getting ready so early for myself since i just need 15 minutes so I just stay in bed. She then proceeds to tell me to get up and start cleaning the house. I don't mind cleaning up but I think it should we both should  be cleaning and then we can start getting ready or vice versa. The issue here is that she didn't give herself enough time to clean, only enough time to do her hair and makeup, so I'm expected to clean up the house by myself. I'm not saying I can't do anything at all around the house but to do an hour worth of chores in the morning by myself is a little too much. Girlfriend says that she NEEDS to do her hair and make up, it's a necessity so it's only fair. How is this fair if she has said and other women have said that they do their make up for themselves and nobody else, I might as well play video games or go to the gym since it's for myself too lol. This has happened more than once and I am hoping to get some different perspectives on this issue.",AITA for refusing to clean our house,INFO
10vi6bs,"I, 19M, have been dreaming of getting a motorbike for years now and last year I was very close to making it true and buying my first bike. However a week before I was due to go in and buy the bike, a friend of my partners died in a motorbike crash.They were quite close, and it was also an old colleague of mine although I never really spoke to her.Understandably, my partner was very upset and asked if I could put my plans on hold. (This was October 22) and I agreed and said I would, and spend some time to consider whether I would get one or not.Fast forward to now, I have decided I still want to get a bike for this summer. My personal feeling is that: the initial feeling of grief has passed now, and that the girl who crashed would not have wanted that to persuade anyone against getting a motorbike.I mentioned everything to my partner and she said I was being inconsiderate and a terrible boyfriend. She gets upset every time I mention it and it’s impossible to talk to her about it. It’s just been a dream of mine since before I met her and I’m finally in a position to achieve it",AITA For still wanting to get a motorbike despite a friend of my partners dying in a crash recently?,NTA
10vv6ct,"I love this little sh*t to bits but I can tell she isn't happy and isn't doing well with us anymore. A few months ago we moved across the country with two cats and two dogs to try and make a better living. Everything was going okay until Thanksgiving when my male cat got out and haven't been able to find him.It's been hard on us but it's been even harder on our other cat. All she does is meow the moment I walk in the door until she's in my lap or eating. She has to sleep on my chest, stay on the edge of the tub while I'm bathing, and will even follow me out when taking the dogs for a walk. As for eating... She gobbles like she's never seen food and she'll break into the pantry any time she has a chance. Just yesterday she got into dried mashed potatoes and ate until she vomited (including bits of plastic). I feed her wet food in a slow feeder 3 times a day to mitigate some of it but will still try to steal food all the time.I was hoping she'd take more of a liking to the dogs but she just bops out Boston any time he tries to play with her. My SO has tried playing with her in his spare time but she just avoids him. All she wants is to be glued to me. I don't know what to fo for her anymore. The vet says she's healthy. I work all the time and my husband is in school so I can't give her any more attention than I already do. We thought about another cat but that's it's own set of headaches.The only thing we could come up with was to give her to a coworker who was looking for a second cat to be a companion to the one they already have. They're coming tomorrow for an introduction and to see if she'll be a good fit for them.She's a little terror but I love her to bits. It's killing me to give her away but I want what's best for her. Would I be the asshole by giving her up? Is there anything more I can do?",WIBTA if I give my cat up?,YTA
10vi4gf,Honestly couldn’t figure out what to title this because its so absurd. I live in a house with 6 other roommates. Today after coming home from class I walked past my 2 roommates in the living room and went upstairs to take a #2 in the bathroom. I finish up and walk back downstairs to log on to my work laptop. As I’m walking downstairs the elderly father of our landlord is walking up the basement steps freaking out shouting something in broken english about not using the water. Apparently he had been there to fix our sink leak and had turned the water off in our house. None of my roommates mentioned that he was here or in our house group chat. Landlords dad is currently draining the flood but there is solid poop that may be left on our basement floor. This has happened in our house once before and one of my roommates disposed of the poop himself by scooping it up out of the sewage and throwing it away but this was before the landlord(s) came to deal with the issue and it happened while the water was on.My roommates are telling me that I am obligated to clean up the feces after the basement is drained because its “mine” . AITA for refusing to do this and telling them that its the landlords responsibility to make sure its cleaned?,AITA for refusing to pick up and dispose of feces from a flood in my rented house.,YTA
10vqkvl,"Background. Both my husband and I are penny pinchers. He does a better job at pinching, so naturally I'm the spender of our relationship. On our trip. I saw some really nice leather wallets that I wanted to get him because his is about 2 years old and threads are already coming off. When he noticed what I was doing. He kept telling me he doesn't need it and it's too bulky.  Finally, he stormed out of the store when I went to pay for the wallet. The wallet was $60. He usually spends about $20. We are not rich. But we are not poor either. We can afford a few trips out of the country every year. When we got back to the car. He continues to throw a temper tantrum saying that I was an AH and did not respect his wishes. I got fed up and said. When someone buys you a gift, you're supposed to thank them. AITA?",AITA for buying a present for my husband,YTA
10vv1ed,"I used to live in hawaii and moved to texas about 4 years ago. Ever since I moved here, I made it clear that I wanted to one day take them with me to where I lived. I told them how I wanted to see her genuine and first reactions to everything. They came from a less fortunate upbringing, so I wanted them to experience things outside of their every day life.After two years, she moved in with us due to a failed marriage. I tried to be there for her. Constantly bought her snacks, offered advice, gave her space or company whenever she needed it. Played games with her and did everything I could when she was feeling down. She did nothing in return, but that didn't matter much to me. I just wanted her to feel better. I would constantly talk about what things we could do and the hopkups I could get with my family that live there when she would have the money and free time to go (meaning it would be cheaper).This past christmas i popped into her room to tell her that we're visiting hawaii again for this coming christmas and she's invited. Once again talked about how we can do a bunch of things she's definitely never done before because she's never been to hawaii. She finally says she can go and I got so excited to see her experience these things for the first time. I've been planning this for years. Today, I just found out that she planned a trip with her friends to go to hawaii in the summer and recently took the time off for it. Without me. She's still planning to come for christmas but I just feel unreasonably upset. I've been planning this for years and invited her each time I went but she never had the time nor money. Now she does, but she's going with her friends first. I want to be happy for her, I really do- but I'm just frustrated. I wanted to see her reaction to everything for her first time. And I'm pretty sure I'm being unreasonable. Any thoughts?Edit: thank you everyone for commenting. I needed some logic and reasoning to calm me down from my mild baby-tantrum :)",AITA for not wanting my sister-in-law go on her trip?,YTA
10vhqwt,"My father in law has been battling with alcoholism for a long time and after a few decades he has relapsed.The last few years he has basically been perma-drunk and he will have moments of being sober a couple times a year. It never lasts longer than a week or 2.As long as I have known my husband (almost 4 years) his father has been like this. I remember several months into the relationship he vented to me about how stressed out his dad was making him and he cried to me about it. The last 4 years he would routinely go and check on his father when he didnt answer his phone. Each time he had to prepare himself to walk in and find him dead which of course is horrific, no one should have to do that for their parent. Frequently his dad answers the door to him in his underwear and my husband has had to help him put pants on before. I didn't manage to even meet his dad until a couple months ago when he had one of his sober moments.Anyway he was on a 2 week streak of sobriety and then he rang my husband, who then put it on speakerphone. We realised he sounded a little ""off"" so my husband asked if he'd been drinking. He said ""only a couple glasses of wine"". I was so frustrated I just sighed and went ""Great."" He heard that and went ""excuse me, 'Great'?"" And at that point I honestly just flipped. I started telling him how he can't just have wine because he's a GD alcoholic and I am sick to death of him hurting his son like this. I yelled, I know I yelled but I was at the end of my rope. I wasn't just going to act like it was OK.So the next day his dad rang up my brother in law. He was ranting about how I don't even know him so how dare I say anything about this. I quote ""that girl has been in this family 5 minutes and I don't know anything about her"". He doesn't know anything about me because I couldn't talk to him for 2 years due to him being off-his-face drunk all the time!So now he hates me and is going to make sure to tell any family members that I'm an interfering bitch basically.I think I did what was normal in that situation but his aggression and clear contempt for me has worried me that maybe I overreacted. I'm also scared that other family members will see me the same way.I understand alcoholism isn't something you'd wish on your worst enermy and it's a disease. However he repeatedly shows he doesn't want help and I am sick of watching him make his family miserable. He also has plenty of money for help and has gone to rehab before multiple times. He now refuses to go back. AITA for going off at him like that?TLDR; I yelled at my FIL for relapsing again and refusing help and now he thinks I'm a complete bitch.",AITA for yelling at my alcoholic FIL?,NTA
10vj4mx,"My daughter (10) participated in her school play this year. She was in one scene that was about 5minutes and had 2 lines. They did 4 shows total, 1 during the day for the school on Thursday, evening performances on Thursday and Friday, and an afternoon performance on Saturday.  I recognize that for an elementary school performance, it was a lot of show times, and the play was about an hour.The first night she was a complete mess- panic attack, tears, etc. The second night was fine, except that she tripped backstage and hurt her leg (it was a little dramatic, but ok, bruised is bruised), so after the show she was a mess because she got hurt. By Saturday she was a complete zombie in the morning (didn't sleep well Thursday or Friday night), but was ok when we got to the school and she did her performance fine. She's been a complete zombie since, including barely eating. She's an emotional mess if she's awake, or she's just been sleeping. She went to school today and told me she had to step outside for air a few times to get through the day, and she barely ate her lunch.She's mentioned a few times she wonders what they'll pick next year, and which parts she'd hypothetically want if it were x or y show (mom, wouldn't I make the perfect Meg if they did Hercules?).I want so badly to say something like, maybe it's not a good idea next year, or anything like that. While I don't want to discourage her, I just can't imagine how many more days of her zombie state we'll have, but I'm already stressed and I can't imagine this all over again, hypothetically. It's like having a depressed teenager, and it's not good.So, WIBTAH if I didn't encourage thinking about jext year's play, even though it's an entire school year away?",WIBTA if I told my daughter I didn't think she should participate in her school play next year?,YWBTA
10vuery,"I, 14 year old F, have a friend, who I will call B. We have a pretty good connection and I enjoy having fun with her, but me and her best friend, who i will call E, do not get along. The other day I was texting B when E responded to my story, which was a baby photo of me, and told me it was an ugly baby. I responded with “shut up”. And E continued to harass me and text me. I tried to lighten the mood by making a Memoji (an apple character) of E as a joke. E did not find this funny an accused me of being racist by using the wrong curls on there hair (for context E is black). This was in no way my intention and I tired to make E as accurate to the memoji as i could. My friends B backed them up so I apologized for offending them. The next day E responds to another story of mine of a cute dog I reposted and says “ew, ugly dog”. I didn’t know how to respond so I randomly asked if he’d seen the scream horror movie series. Which he responded to be saying “are you kidding, of course I have. Do you think I’m not allowed to watch it because I’m black?” I was so confused, how did we even get to the topic of race? I thought he was just f-ing with me so I said “just answer the question” and then my screen time went up. A few minutes later i got a text from B saying “if you keep this up we can’t be friends” I asked what she meant and she said i implied  something racist onto the question I asked E. I don’t understand how they got to this conclusion. Is this some weird joke? Did I say something racist? Please, let me know.                                                                                                          And just in case anyone was wondering, yes, this was the whole conversation. And I confirmed with B that E got offended over the “scream” question.",AITA for being “racist”,NTA
10vi4me,"Hi. I’m a mom to a 10mo and my grandfather and I have always had a shit relationship. I cut him out of my life when I was 18. He played a big part in my parents, divorce and treated my mother, me, and my sister, like garbage I have been verbally abused by him. My dad stopped by today to give me a gift for my son and mentioned that it was from my grandfather and they wanted my son to have the same toy that I had growing up. Apparently it’s rare and grandfather paid a lot of money for it (don’t care but my dad had to point it out) I’m honestly repulsed by the fact that they gave this to me and I’m very frustrated with my dad because he knows how I feel about my grandfather. I have not spoke with grandfather in 4+ years. I’ve explained why I’ve cut him off to my dad, and I’ve explained to my grandfather why I wouldn’t be around. I’ve made it clear to my dad that I don’t want my grandfather seeing my son, meeting him, seeing pics or anything. And I just feel very disrespected.AITA if I send it back to their house (their address is on the package/gift) what would you do?ETA: the toy is not the original I had as a child. It’s like a replica/similar one.",AITA for wanting to send back a gift that my grandfather sent my baby?,NTA
10vjhxs,"I(18f) get picked up by my father (48m)from school twice a week. This occurs during his work hours as he is a medical delivery man . As he drives me home, he usually delivers medications and does his job en route, so it takes usually two hours to drive me home. I honestly don't have a problem with this. However I do have a problem in which the whole car ride he puts on a podcast-like audio in which he likes to hear. This ranges from sports commentators who like to yell (especially since the volume is high) and police vs citizens arguments ( i am not of support of police). This is extremely agitating as i hate feeling overwhelmed with loud noises. My parents both know this as i have cried (due to feeling overwhelmed) multiple times since a young age whenever bands or artists sing in restaurants. I combat this by playing games like papas donuteria at a loud volume. These little games continue as he puts his podcast louder while i play mine louder. However i feel conflicted as it is his car, during his work hours. But at the same time, i feel like he is being selfish. Aita for one-upping him?",AITA for one-upping my dad?,ESH
10vtm45,"So I 15m let my friend 15m borrow my school laptop charger in English last Friday. He typically asks me during English class to borrow it and I do and he usually gives it back to me after class so I don’t have to ask him. Last Friday we were playing a game in English since we finished our work and I forgot to ask him for it back no biggie I had it at 100% anyway and I figured he would give it back to me on Monday. Well come Monday and I asked him where it is and now he is claiming he flat out doesn’t have it. I told him that he was the last one who had my charger and we argued back and forth but I didn’t want it to turn into a fight so we stopped there but I definitely know he has it. It’s fine if he took it home with him by accident cause that happens. I’m just confused because he is the only person who usually ever asks for my charger and no one else has. So I told my mom about it and she said I am too nice and need to be assertive. Also side note, me and my friend have been friends since Kindergarten but grew apart and are in different friend groups and don’t talk much and I am scared of confronting him and he is kinda bold and loud and I am scared he is gonna start getting mad at me and getting agressive and it turning into a full blown argument cause that’s what I feel like will happen since he can be like that sometimes. But WIBTA for trusting my gut instinct and going up and confronting him for this? I know that for a fact he was last to use it but I am just scared about how I should go about this. What should I do? note: I have always been a nice non confrontational guy I have not ever been assertive and I feel like I might be a pushover and I will always forgive him no matter what. We are human and make mistakes, I just want my charger back.",WIBTA if I directly confronted him?,NTA
10vtcmw,"I know this may sound weird but my friends keep doing things to me and another person and i want to know if my feelings are ok.I have a friend group of 5 (including me) and we have been friends for a long time but recently they have been being different. One of them invited me to the movies she told me that i was the first person she invited and that she was unsure if we could go or not and that she would get back to me, she never did. She went to the movies with a different friend we will call these people E and K (E invited me). E said that she did not take me because inly 1 person could go and and this was the first time K was allowed to go anywhere so thats why she chose to go with K. I later found out that my other friend A was with them. Me and the other girl in our friend group, i, have been being left out a-lot recently so i was not surprised and i just assumed they did not want to hurt my feelings but they keep doing it. Every weekend the 3 of them hang out with me and i. They send us pictures and talk about it in front of us and every time me and i have said anything they tell us that we are lying. Recently me and E went on a trip out of town with her mom, for the first half of our trip E was on the phone with K and would not talk to me until there was no service and the call disconnected this made me upset but once again when i said something my feelings were dismissed.Im sorry if this was just a lot of rambling but i needed to say it and i want to know if they really are being mean, or if this is just petty high school drama and me an i are overreacting. I would also love for advice on what I should do.",AITA for being upset with my friends Or am i in the right?,NTA
10vgpec,"About a week and a half ago I was walking my dog when a  tiny 9lb friendly doggie came running up to us. His ribs were showing, he smelled absolutely awful, had massive fleas on him, and had huge scabs on the inner side of his ears. I picked him up and brought him home with me where I gave him two baths, treated him with flea medicine, and put medicine that i had leftover from the vet I'm his ears. My dog and I played with him for a while before sending him off on his way. A few hours later, he was scratching at my door. So I let him in and let him spend the night since it was around 30° outside. He seemed to have been a stray for a while even though he was sweet and friendly. For example, when we went to sleep, he came up to my side but then just sat there and wouldn't lay down. When he started falling asleep, his head would droop before he finally surrendered and lied down. To me, this indicates that he's used to staying vigilant until he simply can't keep his eyes open anymore. He has since stopped doing this. The next day I let him out again but he came back. Also happened the following day. Since then, I've kept him in my house. It has been a week since I have claimed him. Yesterday while I was at work, he got out, my roommate chased him down and brought him back to our house. During this time, he heard a little boy say something like ""that's my dog."" My roommate says he brought him back to our house because the previous owner was not taking care of him at all. I prettymuch agree with him. I am torn about whether or not I should give him back to his previous neglectful owner. So I've come to trusty reddit to ask y'alls opinion on what I should do.",AITA for keeping my neighbors dog?,INFO
10vo10r,"My high school friend (21F) and I (20F) hadn’t seen each other in a while since we go to different colleges but had the opportunity to go to a concert near our hometown (about a 15 min drive) together this past weekend. I was really excited to reconnect and also hear the band live. She agreed to pick me up and I offered to pay for parking. The day of the concert comes and I get a text from her 1 hour before she was supposed to pick me up and she says that she had a long day at work (she works in the food industry) and is too tired to drive us there safely and asks if I can drive instead. My sister took our shared car to run errands since I said I wouldn’t be needing it so I unfortunately couldn’t drive us. She then asked her parents if they could drop us off and they agreed. I also asked if she had enough energy for the concert/would like to rest and she said she could recharge in the car and over dinner. We eat dinner and wait in line and everything seems fine. We’re catching up and it was fun. However, 30 min into the concert (8:30), she tells me that her legs hurt and that she is tired and wants to go home. She said that she already contacted her parents and that I could either drive with them back or take an Uber home (my family members were all busy at the time). I ended up leaving with her and am definitely thankful for her parents to drive me back, but am upset to miss a majority of the concert. Even if I stayed, I would not feel comfortable being at the venue by myself and waiting for an Uber (which would also be pretty costly since everyone would be calling one).After that event, I have been responding to her messages as much and am upset because I feel like she shouldn’t have agreed to go with me if she knew she’d have a long day at work or she could have told me earlier if she couldn’t go. I’m addition, I don’t want to meet with her again because I am worried she will flake on me. Another time when we went to a concert together, we left a few songs early to beat traffic but didn’t miss the majority of the show. Others say I shouldn’t distance myself from her because she may be going through some things that I am not aware of or she is burnt out and I need to show empathy but I don’t know why she didn’t tell me prior.",AITA for being upset friend wanted to leave concert early?,NTA
10vkwzv,"I broke off my engagement with my ex about a month before we were supposed to go on holiday with our friends. He was kind enough to let me still go even though he was the one who paid my share. I couldn’t pay him back at the time but I told him I would asap. He did tell me not to and I think it was his way of apologising for what happened between us.Once I had enough money saved up to pay him back, I transferred it to his account but he sent it back. I tried to insist but he wouldn’t take the money and was pretty upset that I tried in the first place.I finally found a way to give it to him when he invited some friends, including me, over for dinner. I took the money and put it in his room. He found it once everybody left and now he’s angry with me because I won’t take the money back He said he doesn’t want me to pay him back as the holiday was a gift from him and he threatened to transfer the money back to me if I don’t come and take it.All of our friends think I should just take it back and let it go but I feel like paying him back is the right thing to do.AITA?",AITA for paying my ex back for the holiday he took me on after our breakup even though he told me not to?,YTA
10vsxu8," PART 1:My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year now, but I have known him for 3 years and we have been on and off. Our first relationship was terrible I was highly depressed and he was very sweet in the beginning but began drifting off and being extremely cold to me and rude. None of us were emotionally available as he has never been in a serious relationship and I had just recently left a toxic, abusive long relationship of about 3 years. We tried again but it was the same thing, he was great in the beginning but became uninterested and very cold. We are now on our third try and I would say final try for me at least, and he has improved greatly but we are still not where I was us to be after so long. He promised he would stick by my side and try his hardest for me as long as he could since he thinks we are perfect for each other. Again the relationship went extremely well during the honeymoon phase but fizzled out a bit but I think he is far better than the last times. He has still never said he Loves me which I find really odd and when I ask him about it he just tells me that he doesn't really know what love is. I feel like I am a really selfless and thoughtful girlfriend, I always make sure he is okay, I cook for him, when he is sick I am there for him, I buy him flowers, I show him off and praise him, and I always express myself to him when I think he looks great or how much I enjoyed our trips and dates. He is always willing to pay for meals and take me out and he always has this positive attitude. Sometimes though, I feel as though he doesn't value me or put me first which I know can be selfish to ask but I really want the person who I want to marry to always respect me and listen to me and be the best version of themselves. Recently I expressed to him that I didn't like it when he did donuts in his car or drove fast with me in the car because he did it so often and I just did not think it was safe and plus felt a little obnoxious to me. He got mad, called me boring and said that I should be happy because he has fun doing it and ""screw me"" for calling it obnoxious. He also doesn't buy me flowers ever because they are ""expensive"" so I buy him $10 ones just so he can see how cheap they are and how easy it is to get them. He did get me flowers for our anniversary but he got them right before he picked me up and they still had a price tag on them and they were nice but it felt like he just got them since he felt he had to. For thanksgiving his family came to visit from out of state and he has a big family so it was very special to him and I knew he would be very busy. I did not see him at all for two weeks because he had his family over, I constantly complained that I missed him a lot but said it lightheartedly and in a joking matter and I just wanted to see him even for a little bit but not once did he make time for me even though he could have and we live 10 minutes from each other.",AITA for Being Sad on my Boyfriend's Birthday?,NTA
10vsduc,"Hi so i wasn’t really sure if i should post this but i have been getting some slight backlash so i guess i will seek other opinions on my next move. Me (F18) has a friend group of just three which includes me my friend we will call her H (F18) and another friend we will call D(F19). So H has this boyfriend who we will call C (M19) who is pretty cool me and him used to hang out so we were semi close and me and H have been friends since we were little and i met D Sophomore year of high school. So my mom and H’s boyfriend’s dad used to have a thing going on years ago because they worked in the same area and lived near each other but that was years ago, and now his dad is happily married and my mom doesn’t speak to him much out of respect. One day my mom told me and H that her and H’s bf’s dad used to mess around and as soon as she said it she said “don’t tell your bf” why? Because he is now married and they have both moved on it was jus we were on a topic of speaking about people we messed with . So in the morning we normally meet up before we split up and go to our classes (we are in community college btw) and normally i stay and talk with them until its time to go but today C decided he wanted to crack multiple jokes about how my mom and his dad fucked around . Now some more background info on that H told him this information a couple months ago so maybe November and he has been making jokes about it ever since i was already annoyed H had to go say something to him when she didn’t have too and she was asked not too but whatever, he has been making jokes about it for months yeah maybe the first time it was funny but now it’s overrated and i don’t want to hear jokes about my mom fucking. My last straw was when he said “Your mom might just think I’m attractive then huh I’m my dad’s twin” i instantly shut down and stopped talking H continued laughing at him thinking it was funny and i didn’t find it funny at all. Now my friend D noticed this and tried to stop them and tell them i was becoming irritated but they didn’t want to listen so i just walked off and ignored them all day, and have been getting different texts from H saying “come on it was a joke no need to get all pissy about it”. So AITA?",AITA for having a attitude about jokes that involve my mom?,NTA
10vs4xq,"So I 15m let my friend 15m borrow my school laptop charger in English last Friday. He typically asks me during English class to borrow it and I do and he usually gives it back to me after class so I don’t have to ask him. Last Friday we were playing a game in English since we finished our work and I forgot to ask him for it back no biggie I had it at 100% anyway and I figured he would give it back to me on Monday. Well come Monday and I asked him where it is and now he is claiming he flat out doesn’t have it. I told him that he was the last one who had my charger and we argued back and forth but I didn’t want it to turn into a fight so we stopped there but I definitely know he has it. It’s fine if he took it home with him by accident cause that happens. I’m just confused because he is the only person who usually ever asks for my charger and no one else has. So I told my mom about it and she said I am too nice and need to be assertive. Also side note, me and my friend have been friends since Kindergarten but grew apart and are in different friend groups and don’t talk much and I am scared of confronting him and he is kinda bold and loud and I am scared he is gonna start getting mad at me and getting agressive and it turning into a fight cause that’s what I feel like will happen since he can be like that sometimes. But WIBTA for trusting my gut instinct and going up and confronting him for this? I know that for a fact he was last to use it but I am just scared about how I should go about this. What should I do?",WIBTA if I confronted him?,NTA
10vmomh,"Some background: my (31F) best friend ""Ryan"" (38M) quit his 6-figure office job in 2019, was unemployed for most of 2020 and 2021, and started following his dreams of becoming a production designer/prop master for film and TV in 2022. As a result of being unemployed for so long and trying to get started as a beginner in a volatile industry, he is deeply in debt. And as a production designer he can pretty much justify buying anything because maybe it will be useful as a prop in the future.However, I also think he has somewhat of a shopping addiction? Whenever I see him he has new electronics, or tools, or designer clothes, and justifies it through some complicated credit card scheme or says he thinks his mom can be convinced pay off his debt, or that he will be making more as a production designer in the future. I think he procrastinates on looking for work or tries to avoid thinking about finding work by buying expensive things, and it stresses me out. A few days ago he mentioned that his mom came into some money and might be offering to buy him a house if he is successful in his career, so we discussed the possibility of buying a duplex together in the future.Yesterday we were at brunch with some friends and he asked if he should buy an expensive 3D printer that he could probably use to make props for work. Everyone said ""yeah that sounds like fun"" but I gave a definite ""no absolutely not"" because I know him well enough to know he just came up with this idea while procrastinating on updating his portfolio and promoting his business. Since we were with other people I didn't say out loud that it's because he has a shopping addiction and is making poor financial choices, and being overly dependent on the women in his life to bail him out, but that was the subtext. He got mad at me for being so worried about what he buys, and I also looked pretty not-fun at brunch for shutting down his creativity.I can't tell if I'm an asshole for enabling him to dig himself deeper into debt, or if I'm an asshole for not minding my own business. Part of me wants to just agree to not talk about money with him, but if we buy a house together or if I have to bail him out of something then we will definitely have to.",AITA for publicly telling my prop designer friend he shouldn't buy a 3D printer,NTA
10vgrnl,"I was in a 2,5 year domestic relationship going through a rough patch when my then partner suddenly left 6 months ago. But this is another story...We used to spend a lot of time at her mom's in the mountains so one day I came across a good opportunity and bought a small property nearby. One day we visited the property to a beautiful sunset, then we went to a nice restaurant around the corner, where we used the table cover to draw sketches, write notes and plans to eventually build a house there. She took pictures of the sketches, of us, posted them and our friends and family reacted with joy.Fast forward to now. I stumble upon her ig feed, which seems to have moved into something more 'professional' recently. She keeps past pictures of us, which doesn't make me sad or anything - I'm not on any social networks. Although, I can't help being upset by our ""house project"" sketch being featured there. To passers by, another item that matches her portfolio (she is an architect), to me and people that know us, an epitaph of a dream that has never been...Fair note: the sketch is not featured alone as 'work', if you swipe there are other pictures of us in the set. Still, it conveniently fits the portfolio narrative.Edit: the sketch was made equally by both of us and is not a professional work of architecture.",WIBTA if I asked my ex to take down the sketches of our would be house from her Instagram feed?,YTA
10vfxql,"Sorry for the grammar, English is not my first language. I (25F) am an international student in USA. I came with my best friend. We rent a 2B apartment together. All this start 2 months before our lease ended. My cousin (28F) was working in other state, and she was planning to move to the state that I currently live. So she ask me if she and her friend can move with us.  We were thinking move in with another friend but I prioritize my cousin and her friend because of family. So we start to look for 4B apartment with no luck. Then our landlord ask us if we gonna stay and increase our rent 20%. Me and best friend can’t afford that by ourselves so we agree to renewing the lease and live the 4 girls in our apartment for 1 year.

When they move in, they don’t have a job. Start looking and my cousin were jumping for work to work because she doesn’t feel the right vibes but always complaining about money.  We have fights about chores of the house all started by my cousin, she like to be in control and manage everyone. 

She starts saying that she wasn’t feel ok here. That her mental health was bad so she one day she said to us she is gonna go back to the state where she was with her friend. Her friend wasn’t happy because they didn’t discuss it and my cousin said to her just come. We were worried about the rent but they assure they gonna continuous paying. Long story short they try to work but for my cousin things weren’t the same there, so they come back a week later. 

At the end of last year my cousin get sick and must go the hospital twice. Everyone was taking care of her even my friend group who she don’t treat that well try to help as much as they could.  She get better but then she blame not having enough money, the state and the apartment for bad vibes that make her sick. So she plan to go back to the other state in secret and take her friend. But in this case she didn’t want to follow her and prefer staying with us. She went for a 3 moths Job so she left almost all her things here. And again she was going to pay for rent $300. She said yes cause there she wasn’t gone to pay rent and transportation cause the work include it. 

Now that she is there she said that she is no gonna pay because she don’t have money and don’t live here. Now the 3 of us are stuck with the rent, that is too expensive. She only talk to me because she block and scream to her friend for not following her. I try to talk to her for a solution like if she expected of us breaking the lease. Or if she is going to find anyone to sublease but she’s telling that is not her problem cause legally I never make her sign anything, so if we keep ask her to pay she can easily find a lawyer and she is gonna win cause verbal agreement doesn’t mean anything.

Everyone is in our side but she is saying constantly that I’m a asshole cousin for demanding to pay and not caring her mental health. So I want to know AITA?",AITA for wanting my cousin to continue paying rent even though she no longer lives here,NTA
10vfx6e,"I will start by saying both my parents would always work with my mom making the most and helping with the bills with my dad. My mom got injuries at work 6 months ago and has been out of work in the Pursue of suing for workers comp as they denied her case and haven’t been paying her. It’s been miserable since my mom stopped working because bills would turn off and we’d have to get new services because my dad won’t step up to pay his portion off the bill when I was paying my bill then on top everyone’s. she has no money and my dad doesn’t give her any knowing the situation even money for her medications he knows she needs to take for her medical condition but he still constantly argues about her paying bills when she has no money and he knows this. They are married living together so it would put me at having to give her money for her appointments and having her use my car because it’s electric even after I gave her my old Prius to use but she doesn’t because she can’t put gas in it. She gets mad at me, saying that I treat her like a burden when I don’t but secretly it feels that way. I myself pay my own bills on top of paying for the groceries in the house so having to on top give her my money when I don’t make nearly as much as both my parents do becomes draining. On top of this I’m guilt tripped to miss work to take her to her doctor appointments when she knows I have work.  My dad with unlimited PTO won’t and he knows I work as well and doesn’t respect that or even try to take off earlier to take her to some of her earlier appointments, this leading to me having to miss work and pay or constantly have to pay to charge my car because she uses it to drive it to her appointments that are usually over 40 miles away from our house. I moved back home with the purpose of saving up to take my MCAT and for when I go to med school I can get an apartment but I haven’t been able to do that since moving home because of this. I’m constantly guilt tripped about how I should be paying bills in the house and I believe I shouldn’t because I buy all the groceries on top of paying my bills and then internet and over $100 in subscriptions that my parents also use and never offer to help to pay towards. I am mentally and emotionally exhausted of living with my parents and being guilt tripped by my dad constantly to pay his bills when I contribute on top of feeling guilted into paying for things for my mom and to miss work because take her to her appointments when when she is married to my dad and I feel that is his responsible as her husband.  I really want and need  help because I don’t know what to do I just feel like I’ll never be able to save up any money to take my MCAT so I can go to medical school or get my own apartment again because of this it’s already been a year and my dad constantly pressures me saying me saying I’ll go to medical school was a lie. When I’m reality I just can’t save my money because of this. AITA?",AITA for being tired of my mom being out of work,NTA
10vkg9t,"**Wedding #1**Recently a couple my husband and I are friends with asked us to be in their wedding parties. We were surprised because we didn’t know they felt that close to us, but were honored they had asked and we said we couldn’t wait to celebrate with them. We've known them for 5 years and see them 3-4x a year, as they live a few hours away. We don’t know their friends or families that well, but we’re social and get along well with everybody. We knew their wedding was in the winter, but weren’t thinking about the exact date in the moment.**Wedding #2**We just realized the date is on the same day as a wedding for very dear friends of ours who let us know their wedding date over 2 years ago. We’ve known these other friends for over a decade, vacation with them, and see them fairly often. While we are not in their wedding (they have big families), we are so excited to celebrate this milestone along side them and feel much closer to them. We also have a large group of close friends that will be attending the wedding, so we will know a lot of the people going and have an absolute blast.**WIBTA**WIBTA if we go back to Wedding #1 friends and apologize and say we can’t be in their wedding? We would still love to help organize the Bachelor/Bachelorette parties and Bridal Shower and celebrate, and we will send a gift, but we won’t make the ceremony. We feel terrible about this, but we feel like guilt is the only reason we’d be a part of a wedding party with people we don’t feel super close to.Also if we aren't the assholes and you have any advice as to how best navigate this, please share. We love them and don't want to hurt their feelings.Edit: Weddings are next winter, so about 9 months away. And yes we definitely should’ve checked our calendars first, won’t make that mistake again.","WIBTA for saying yes to being in a wedding, but then backing out due to another wedding?",NTA
10vh0cn,"A couple of weeks ago I (28F), and three of my colleagues (Abby 27F, Bella 40F and Cassie 42F) decided to go on a weekend trip. We have been working together for a year now and all get on pretty well and have similar interests.Midway through Saturday Abby felt unwell. She suspected she'd eaten something that upset her tummy and decided to go home alone.That night Bella randomly expressed some extreme views on religion and abortion. Neither myself nor Cassie had brought up things even tangentially related. At first I did worry Cassie had similar views because they've worked together a lot longer and Bella was so comfortable to say these things I assumed she knew she would be supported, but when I said ''I disagree and think we should leave it there'' Cassie agreed with me.This made Bella burst into tears. It was really weird. She continued to cry on and off for a couple of hours. She directly told us we were both going to hell, for different offenses, and so were specific members of our family for various reasons. Each time myself or Cassie tried to shutdown the conversation, as we could both see it was going nowhere and there was no convincing to be had on either side, she would cry harder, accusing us of ganging up on her and breaking her heart by ''fighting against salvation''.I have since distanced myself entirely from Bella. Her views are honestly much too extreme for me. I did not tell anyone what had happened, but Abby noticed the sudden shift. We are the only four women in our department, and we used to frequently grab dinner and such which I now decline. Abby kept asking about why shut Bella out and eventually I told her. I did not go into huge detail, just said we had conflicting moral views and I felt uncomfortable being around her now I know how she views myself and my family.Abby went to Bella to confirm and Bella went into more detail. Abby does not agree with her at all and has since iced her out too. This has caused Bella to post tirades on social media (other colleagues have shown me as I removed her from my social media), claiming we are socially ostracizing her, bullying her and attempting to pressure her to fall into our ''sinful ideologies''.Now people in the wider office space are aware of her extreme stances and a lot them are avoiding her. She came to my house uninvited and told me I had no right to discuss our private conversation with people that were not there and that I am causing her to lose job opportunities by gossiping about her...I don't think IATA for speaking up and disagreeing with her that evening, but I'm wondering if I'm TA for telling Abby and inadvertently causing our workplace in general to find out? When I first started working here last year Bella was the most supportive and helpful person to me. I had no inkling she held these extreme views and my guess is no one else had any idea either and would still view her positively if I hadn't spoken about our conversation.",AITA for telling a colleague about a conversation I had with my other colleagues?,NTA
10vjvu5,"Story time , this morning our dog had some blood in her stool. She’s had some tummy issues in the past so we gave her a pill for GI upset we have on hand and decided to wait it out. When I took her out this afternoon there was more blood in the stool and I was worried. (This is about 4-4:20pm) I have a class at 5pm and the  vet closes at 5 and is about 20 minutes away. I called my Bf bc he told me that morning he wouldn’t have anything after 4pm today and asked him to pick it up. He said he was about to do a spontaneous lesson with the director of the school of music at our college. I have class MTW from 5-6pm I have a Lab grade on Tuesday and I have my first test Wednesday. I only asked bc I thought he wasn’t busy but when I offered to go instead he turned me down. Now he’s being short and dismissive and he’s upset at me? He’s usually the first one to say we should call the vet when something goes wrong. I figured if we got the meds tonight then if it isn’t helping by in the morning I can take our dog to the vet before work. Should I have just gone myself when he said that? He seemed insistent on me going to class but is still upset.",AITA: I asked my bf to pick up our dog’s medicine when he had a lesson with the director of the school of music.,NTA
10vjhhe,"Posted again bc my throwaway is ✨ s h a d o w b a n n e d ✨WIBTA for wanting to eat somewhere different for my birthday?Hello!Tomorrow is my birthday and every year my family treats me to dinner.About a month ago, I found out I have a gluten intolerance and that’s obviously nerfed a lot of restaurants for me. On top of this, I also have a problem speaking up for myself. I try to be considerate about where we eat, even if it’s not really where I want to eat, so we usually end up eating at the same chain burger place every year. My teenage sister is really picky and my brother hates Mexican (my favorite kind). I would really like to eat at a Thai restaurant. I called ahead and the person that answered said they have lots of gluten free dishes or ones that can be made to be GF. I’m afraid my family will think I’m a jerk for choosing somewhere my siblings don’t want to eat/my parents might not like. Growing up we ate Chinese/Mexican take out but we never tried anything else. My parents and siblings eat the same thing and often don’t try new foods. WIBTA?",WIBTA for wanting to eat somewhere new on my birthday?,NTA
10vn7hb,"Every time i text this person, they get bent out of shape because i send them 5 'one sentence' texts instead of one '5 sentence paragraph.' I say they are passive aggressive and being a control freak. They say i don't understand phone etiquette. Nobody else says this to me. Nobody else seems to mind that i don't condense my messages into one long paragraph. Other people text me lots of little messages. I don't mind whatsoever. AITA for sending 5 one liners instead of one long message?",AITA for not condensing messages?,YTA
10vptdp,"I (25M) have been married to my wife (25F) for half a year now. We had our honeymoon in Turkiye and it was beautiful but she said it was too short for her because we only had 6 days there. That was also the first time we ever went on vacation together.Today we had talked about traveling and going on holiday to various places. She was excited about going on vacation again since she only ever went with her family and they never let her travel alone or with friends since she grew up very sheltered. She also started talking about how great our honeymoon was and that it was the best trip she ever had. I agreed but added that I would rather go on vacation with our families next time. She asked why and I answered that it is more fun being around loved ones. She got offended and acted like I said I don't want be alone with her and always want my own family with me (she says this all the time). I thought it was ridiculous that she got so insulted by me saying I want BOTH our families there and told her if she was seriously getting upset over something trivial I said. She said I phrased it weirdly and it is hurtful because we only went on vacation once, only for a short period of time and she has always been with her family and she wants to make memories with the both of us alone and later with our parents. I said she was being ridiculous and dramatic. She has been acting sulky ever since.I love her, I love my family and I love her family so I want to go on a trip together. How can she get upset over that? So AITA for wanting to be with both our families on vacation?",AITA for telling my wife I want to go on vacation with our parents?,YTA
10vj4o5,"To start things off I’m the only guy in this friend group that’s straight so accusations of me liking my “friends” came up often. None of them are dateable as graycei vapes Olivia is a stoner and Evie isn’t my type and is much too needy and experienced in relationships. I was asked for advice by (E) on how to get the attention of a guy she liked who we can call pedo stache, she just broke up with her ex and immediately fell in love with pedo stache even though truth be told he is a solid 4/10 and she is a 6-7/10. She asked me how to get his attention and I told her to start genuine conversations with him and don’t just do and say stuff to get a result. I also said not to act like an attention wh*re and to slow down and take time before you rush into another relationship you don’t want (happened with her ex). She told our friends about this and they confronted me saying she said I was annoying and that I called her a bunch of derogatory names basically calling her a wh*re. I texted her about this and she told me to hold on and she’ll find out by texting them. That brings us to now where it’s been 30 minutes and I still haven’t been updated on what’s going on.Additional details Graycei has a history of getting close to people and making stuff up about them and even spread a rumor about Evie.Olivia is a massive gremlin and is always rude mean and angry but she says it’s “just the we I am”Any advice is wanted and tbh I might just ditch them as it’s something new every week.",AITA for giving relationship advice and pissing off my friends?,YTA
10vgvjb,I 18 y.o been recently talking to girl that i really like and turns out she like me too . So she tolled me she's best friend with my friend sister and start talk a lot about her until she finally brings up about her relationship . So after few days i meet her brother (my neighbour) and told him about his sister without mention the whole story  later that day the girl i like got mad at me and blocked me because the brother got mad . Am i wrong for this ? ( and also im arabe ),AITA for telling my neighbour and my freind about his sister,NTA
10vxl5o,"I’m going to change names for obvious reasons.My husband passed away over 2 decades ago. I still considered myself a married woman. My sister has criticized my decision to stay loyal many times. She’s tried taking off my wedding ring, getting me to cheat, and mocking me. I don’t appreciate it. I’ve had friends who have tried to “set me up” but I tell them I don’t want another partner and they respect that! My sister does not.The last few years she’s been cool. Until the last week or so. We’ll call me Mrs. Smith. My maiden name was Ms.Jones. My sister has started to call me Ms. Jones like the other night she made reservations for Ms. Jones. She also mailed me a book for “(my name) Jones”The yesterday I got kinda sick of it. She came over and we were getting ready to go somewhere and she made coffee and she jokingly said “your coffee ms jones” and I got really mad. I said “don’t call me that” and she said “huh?” And I said “that’s NOT my name. I am Mrs. Smith” and she said It wasn’t my name anymore, but it IS my name. I never changed it back. I never ever will. She’s just messing with me. I don’t like it. It really hurts my feelings. I’ve told her that and she calls me that but she says it’s my fault for never changing jt.I never ever want to change it. I actually love when people call me Mrs.Smith. It hurts when she calls me Ms. Jones.",AITA for telling my sister to stop calling me by my maiden name,NTA
10w30bw,"I (31F) am marrying my fiancé (35M) next year. I am also currently pregnant and due in April. We have been chatting lately about what we might do for our honeymoon. We’ve decided that we will be bringing our baby with us as it wouldn’t be fair to leave him/her with family for a week or more and I’m sure we wouldn’t want to leave our baby for this long anyway. My fiancé has a 9yr old daughter from a previous relationship. She spends most of her time with her mother but comes to us for a weekend every fortnight. Myself and his daughter have a good relationship. She’s a nice little girl generally, albeit a bit cheeky but I make a big effort with her and do my best to make her feel welcome and at home when she’s with us. Honestly though I have no major bond with her, i don’t feel any real love for her, no matter how much I try. That’s just how I feel. But I am always kind/considerate towards her  and would never be mean or nasty to her. She does irritate me though from time to time and honestly, I am glad on a Sunday evening when she is going back home to her mothers. My fiancé now wants to bring his daughter on our honeymoon also, seeing as we will be bringing our baby. He doesn’t want her to feel left out. I do understand where he’s coming from but I really don’t want her to come. I know I won’t enjoy the honeymoon half as much if she’s there. She’s not my daughter and I just don’t feel fully comfortable when she’s around. I wouldn’t be able to relax in the same way. We’ve had an argument about it now and he can’t understand where I am coming from. He thinks that bringing the baby and bringing his daughter is the same thing and doesn’t understand why I don’t want her to come.I feel like I may come across as the asshole here, but I just want to enjoy my honeymoon ! Opinions?",AITA for not wanting my fiancés daughter to come on our honeymoon?,YTA
10w3lzx,"This all boils down to my wife's father. I have a six year old son that started living with me as his primary guardian when he was three and his mom went back to school. I met my wife through work, and I also met her father, who worked at the same company in a higher role than both of us. My wife knew I had a son, but I said I wouldn't introduce them unless we became a serious couple, because that wouldn't be fair to him.When my wife did meet my son, they got along really well. I invited her and her father over for dinner one night, and her father met my son for the first time. He was weird and awkward around my son and made strange comments about his appearance (his mom is black). I confronted him after the dinner, and he made some pretty pathetic excuses. After that I asked him to not contact me outside of work matters and asked her for space.A couple weeks later, my wife told me she had completely cut her father off for his beliefs. Our relationship became stronger than ever. When we got engaged she said she didn't want her father at the wedding. We ended up both transferring to other companies. As far as I knew he was gone from both of our lives for good.My wife is pregnant and due in a month. She has already started maternity leave and has been looking for a new job to start after maternity leave because she doesn't want to stay at her current company. Yesterday she sat me down and told me her dad got her an interview for a job at our old company. She also told me she has been talking to him for a couple months and wants to know how I would feel about him knowing our future child.I told her the truth. I told her I felt betrayed and I felt like she betrayed my son, who she claimed to think of as her son as well. I told her that she would even ask me that makes her less of a person in my eyes. She started crying and asked me what kind of insensitive jerk would call the woman pregnant with his kid less of a person. I told her that was how I felt, and although the language was harsh, I felt it matched what she was asking for.After cooling off, I'm now unsure if my word choice was warranted and wondering if I was an asshole for speaking to her that way while she is pregnant and more emotionally vulnerable. I could have just said I wasn't okay with what she was proposing without insulting her character.",AITA for making my pregnant wife cry by calling her less of a person?,NTA
10w1p3w,"My (16) sister has a two year old. I love my niece but she’s a handful. My mom and sister don’t do anything if she does something wrong. Wee my sister was arrested for driving while intoxicated with my niece in the car. My mother got temporary custody but she had work and asked if I could babysit her. I said yes but only for three days as I am taking some online classes to recover credits. I also told her that in that time, she could look for an actual babysitter or have my other sister watch her. My mom got mad and said that my sister has done so much for me, she hasn’t. I don’t really see nor talk to her as we have a 10 year age gap. I told my mom that I’ll watch my niece but only for a few days and in that time she could look for someone either that or she pays me. She walked out of the room and slammed the door. She called my dad and complained that I was being a moody teenager. My dad told her that I was bound to start refusing to babysit as every time I visit(I live with my dad ) I get turned into a babysitter for pets and children without pay. My sisters are calling me an AH and that I should just get over it and help out family. I told them that this was technically my sister’s fault, and I’m not going to fail my classes from her mistake. AITA?",AITA for refusing to babysit my niece longer than three days?,NTA
10vxoi5,"I'm gonna keep this short and sweet.English isn't my first language, on mobile.I (56m) have been married to my beautiful wife (32f) for 7 years, she's a stay at home mom for our 5 kids and she's pregnant currently (hopefully our last lol) I help with childcare and chores after work but most of it is hers (70-30 ish) u have been nothing but good to my wife and vice versa.Recently her brother (30m) lost basically everything and moved in with us rent free but he does have a job. I honestly wish we hadn't took him in... Since he's been here he's made it clear that he doesn't like me or the way my wife and I live he disrespects me constantly judges our age gap etc I was fine letting it slide but yesterday I hit a breaking point I had a particular hard day at work and when I came home I just wanted to rest so I asked my wife if she could give me an hour to recoup before I take the kids but that started a whole argument with my BIL, he said they are my kids and she's tried too so I need to suck it up and stop using her as a ""bang maid"" he made the kids cry so I just couldn't take it anymore and told him to pack his stuff and get out of my house. He's been gone since and even though my wife mostly agrees with me she feels really bad.I feel I am in the right but I'm willing to admit my wrongs so AITA",AITA for kicking out my wife's brother,YTA
10vyasq,We are currently arguing over this because it’s “the first thing she found” I’ve asked her time and time again to just wear appropriate clothing out of respect for me but when I go to her house and she’s wearing short everything while there’s guest and I ask her about it she starts arguing.,AITA for asking my gf to wear more appropriate clothing when there’s guest in the house?,YTA
10w0kvc,"My puppy went missing and after searching tirelessly for days, posting on the Facebook neighborhood page, and posting flyers with a reward, a man found her, while cutting his grass. (She was tangled in some brush in a ditch next to his yard). A neighbor with a flyer - who happened to be passing by called me, and I went and picked up my puppy. I was so happy to be reunited with her! And grateful for the man who found her.I asked the man if I could come back with the reward, as I did not have it on me. The man said he wasn't worried about the reward, he was just happy and surprised to find her. And glad that she was safe.Several hours after picking up my puppy, the man's mother texted me and said they want the reward. I text her back and told her what her son had told me, when I picked up my pup.She then texted me back and said her son has a brain injury and doesn't always know what he is saying. And that she would be in contact again, to get the reward money.Edit, to add: I feel like the man was being a good Samaritan and knew what he was saying he didn't want any reward money. I feel like the man's mother is seeing this as an easy way to score some money. I'm thinking I may be the AH if I ignore the woman, since I did post a reward, even though her adult son said he didn't want the money. I am conflicted as to whether or not to give the reward to her (the man's mother who contacted me), as she is not the one who found my pup.Edit: I feel it is important to add here that I have zero problem with delivering on my reward offer, but only to the man who did free my pup and return her to me. I just feel like the mom is being shady and wants the money for herself. So I refuse to give it to her. I told her in my last text to her - that I will only deal with her son.",WIBTA if I refuse to give reward money to the mother of man who found my missing puppy,NTA
10w390l,"My girlfriend Katie made a new friend a few months ago, Mary. Katie talked about her a lot, Mary said this, did that, started teaching her something, etc.I thought it was a bit weird how much Katie seemed to look up to Mary, but I didn't think much of it until Mary's husband, Joe, entered the picture too. From then on, Katie talked about their relationship all the time. How they do things, how they divide the chores, how respectful are they to each other. Basically how they are just the best couple ever.I've met them to and they are honestly nothing special, maybe a bit on the boring side even.Yesterday evening Katie was once again going on about them, saying things like Mary and Joe are true soulmates and theirs is the healthiest relationship she had ever seen, blablabla. I had a really fucking long day at work, so I told her I don't want to hear about them. I don't care about her creepy crush on this random ass couple, but if she likes them so much, she should go and ask them to adopt her or ask if she can be their third.Katie then gave me the cold shoulder and left to go home to her apartment instead of sleeping at my place like she was supposed to. I need to know if I'm right and her obsession is creepy or if I'm not seeing something right and I'm the asshole here. AITA?",AITA for telling my girlfriend to go and ask to be adopted by the couple she is so obsessed with?,YTA
10w3lgz,"My (28F) Sister (32F) lost her husband of 3 years to cancer 4 years ago. Before he died he was very clear that he wanted her to move on and be happy, instead of wasting the rest of her life as a single widow. My sister promised him to try, and did to some extent.About 6 months after my BIL died, she started trying to date, but found it really hard. I tried gently to explain to her that it was alright to move on, and that she wasn't ""betraying"" anybody, but she never went beyond any first dates with guys she saw for the next few months.After that she stopped for about 3 years, which was really concerning. I tried to set her up with some guys I knew, but that never went anywhere. Than about a month ago she was seeing this really nice guy, but she broke it off after 3 dates since she ""didn't feel right""I asked her why she was being like this, at this point its been plenty of time to move on, and she isn't doing herself any favors by being single, and her husband was very clear with wanting to move on. She said that she just ""felt uncomfortable"" dating again, to which I said she had no reason to.At this point she got pissed at me, and told me to mind my business. I told her that she's my sister, and I'm just looking out for her. I also told her she was disrespecting her late husband's memories, and that he would probably be ashamed at her for not living her life to the fullest. She left and hasn't spoken to me since.",AITA for telling my sister her husband would be ashamed of her?,YTA
10w0fbw,"Okay so, let me start off by saying I'm conflicted and am aware this is going to sound very ""me me me"" about a friends wedding.A high-school friend of mine is getting married, our group  used to be close in school- There were 4 of us in total- P, Q, B and myself.I moved away at 16 3 hours away and  all remained close, we all visited occasionally, not often but once we started college, Uni and life they too moved apart but we all keep in contact online and meet up once or twice a year if we can.We are all in long term relationships, and three of us are engaged.B gets along well with P and Qs partners as they share a very large common interest and skill set and occasionally attend events together because of this  whereas I think B is only on okay terms with my partner as they are vastly different people, they haven't met more than 10 times, and there's no discourse, they just are very different from each other. (which is A-okay you don't have to be best friends with everyone and my partner gets along with P and Q well)B got engaged last year, and has scheduled the wedding for this year, super happy for him, his fiance is lovely even if we've only met a couple times. However the wedding invite has just arrived and is just for me, not my fiance and my other friends have plus ones.(We knew it was coming as we were asked to save the date.)I don't really feel comfortable going alone, I can't drive and the wedding is a day after my own anniversary,  and I'd feel really crappy asking my fiance to drive me there only to not be invited, and the busses and trains are *way* too expensive at the moment to consider plus a hotel just for myself, not to mention how awkward it'd be as my friends would have their partners there and I'd be alone for a lot of it.I know my friends enough to know they would spend the entire time with their partners (as is fair, they love them) and I don't want to be a spare part on my own, I'm on the spectrum and suffer with anxiety and find social situations stressful unless I have someone who I can talk to comfortably, and struggle making new friends.Wibta for declining the invite? I'd not mention the reason as that is their right, he isn't their friend and so I understand  but I can't help feel a bit awkward about it all.Edit: I will be contacting B later to ask about the invite respectfully, ask if the invite is just for me and whether it was an oversight, if it wasn't I shall just let them know I sadly can't go on my own as with my anxiety i would not cope too well with the travel and hotel which they know would be tough for me- I will send a gift with my love and hope it all goes well for them on the day.Fingers crossed that works out and I don't lose a friendship!",WIBTA for declining an invite if my fiance isn't invited,NTA
10w42uw,"I'm getting married in April! I'm F (35) and my fiancé is M (32) (not sure if that's relevant)My friend, Hannah (32), was dating her now ex-BF, Jacob (30), for 3 years and we assumed everything was going great because they seemed perfect, they talked about marriage, and lived together. However, her ex-BF Jacob revealed that she cheated on him for quite some time (for approximately 8 months). He found out and confronted her about it. Jacob got out of their apartment ASAP and cut all ties with her.My fiancé and I decided to disinvite her to our wedding because of her affair. Why would you invite a known cheater to your own wedding? Especially since her ex-BF Jacob will be attending. I talked to her one-on-one and had my words written down beforehand so I wouldn't forget what I wanted to say. I practiced what I wanted to say and met in public.Hannah got upset and believes we are in the wrong for disinviting her. She said we are embarrassing her and ruining her vacation plans because she is no longer invited. Hannah claimed that she will just attend and not interact with Jacob or cause a scene.I was upfront and told her why she wasn't invited anymore and that she only embarrassed herself by her actions of her affair. I don't want someone like Hannah (and other toxic people) to be in attendance. My fiancé and I also don't want to put Jacob in an uncomfortable situation with Hannah at the wedding. We really don't want to deal with drama or issues during our wedding.Hannah is still upset and calls us (my fiancé and I) AHs/jerks/rude for our decision. Several other people found out we disinvited Hannah and shamed us for doing so because they believe it's a celebration for us, and Hannah should be able to go.AITA for disinviting my ""friend"" to my wedding after her affair? Please let me know if I can provide more information.EDIT: Hannah and I known each other for about 4 years. My fiancé and Jacob known each other for about 8 years + Jacob is a groomsman (Hannah was never a bridesmaid to begin with since I have sisters). My fiancé and I came up with the decision on our own to disinvite Hannah, but we did reach out to Jacob to see how he feels. It was clear that Jacob felt uncomfortable with Hannah being there since the wedding will only have 40 people.","AITA For Disinviting my ""Friend"" to My Wedding After Her Affair?",NTA
10vzgc7,"My husband and I share our house with our two young kids, dog and a lodger who rents out a granny flat type room at the back of the house.  We then share the kitchen/diner with him.  He works nights and because I’m off work due to long term health issues and the kids are st school, I’m often home alone with him.  He is constantly making gross sexual comments such as, “if you need to come into my room just kick the porn mags and dildo’s out of your way”.  Another example, he went on holiday, I asked if he’d had a good time and he said “yeah but I need to visit the clap clinic as the woman I met on the plane and banged all week has given me something”.  I think I might be the asshole because I want to cancel his lease.  The comments make me feel really uneasy and it freaks me out.  In fairness he never makes the comments in front of the kids but does day similar things to my husband which is why I think I might be the asshole as I’m cancelling the lease just because I don’t share his gross sense of humour.",WIBTA for cancelling our tenants lease,NTA
10vz26v,"So, before and after I had my daughter(4 months old) I made it explicitly clear to the family that I did not want her face anywhere online until she was old enough to consent, so I could respect her privacy. Yesterday, I was looking through Facebook and happened to look at People You May Know, and there my daughters face is, on an account labeled with my grandmothers name. The account only has my daughters face on it, and in the people who are following account are only 5 people, 4 of them know my dad, one of them is my dad.My dad is a creep, an asshole, and an overall POS. After what he did I never wanted him to see my daughters face. This picture is one I do not have, taken by my grandmothers phone, in her house. I freaked out on her last night and she seems pretty convincing she didn’t do it. I’m thinking of going no contact with her again if I find out she did. I only started talking to her because I missed her and wanted to celebrate Christmas with my family.And I missed my dog. Now I’m wondering if that was the wrong choice.I feel like an asshole but I don’t know who to trust, and I’ve already reported the holy hell out of the profile and Facebook is refusing to remove it so my next step is contacting the police. I’m beyond livid, when I saw it my whole body started shaking, and my immediate reaction was to block my grandmother and refuse all attempts at contact with her but for once in my life I decided to have a rational discussion about it and I’m still not sure what to think. 🫠 My head is a mess, it’s 6am, and I’m hungry, and mad.Edit for more information because a few people seem to think this is on my grandmothers Facebook: this is a whole new account, with only 5 friends on the account, all people being friends of my dad, and one of them being my dad, but an old account he apparently lost. They’re following one person. The only pictures on this account are of my daughter, as a post, and as the accounts profile picture. The account says my grandmothers name, that’s the only thing it shares with her, as well as the fact the picture was from her phone in her home.Edit #2 which I just remembered sounds important: she said when she clicks on the profile it says “log in”. Here’s the quoted message from her after I sent her the link to the account; “I just  hit it and it is telling me to  log in”Edit: #3: so looking more into it, the account of my dads that’s “friends” with this account is an old account he apparently lost and hasn’t used since my brothers 17th birthday, so if he doesn’t have access to it, why is he friends with this new account? The posts on it were made this year in January.Edit #4: Grandmother is very incessant if I call the police to get them to call her.Edit #5: I just asked her to send me the messages between her and my aunt and uncle where she sent the photos and she’s refusing to because she, quoted from her text, “I am not  sending  anything  so someone else can  see or get it on line” so I’ve told her me and my Husband are coming over today to look at her phone and personally see the messages sent ourselves.",AITA for freaking out on my family after finding a Facebook account with my daughters face in it?,NTA
10w2hew,"While there are a lot of details, I’m going to try to keep this as short as possible and remove a lot of my personal drama/feelings to keep it plain. I (f30) and my husband (m29) just had a baby. She’s about 2 months old now. Prior to my maternity leave he asked if I  wanted to go to the Maldives on my leave bc there were very good deals. I said no and made it clear I wouldn't want to leave our newborn daughter. Fast forward to now, he spent our reward points without telling me to bid on a vacation to the Maldives. We won. It’s our dream trip. I said no. He's pissed. Reasons I said no: our daughter would be 3-4 months only. It’s a lot to ask of someone else to watch her and god forbid something happens, it’s a 24 hour flight home to get to her. I also just pushed a baby out and am not so fond of my body right now. I offered we could go in the future but the fact that we would only need to pay for airfare is his argument. He ""did this for us"" and ""had no idea we would win"". I explained that I made it CLEAR i would not leave our newborn prior to even having her. He argued that he’s turning 30, things are different, etc. etc. and then asked if he could go by himself which set me off because I no longer felt it was for us. At one point he told me that I “never let him do anything”. I told him he could go but I wouldn’t be here when he got back which may have been a bit harsh. While we had a conversation about all of this and he admitted he was being a bit selfish, he maintains that he is pissed at me for not going and he does not think it’s abnormal for him to want to go by himself. If a sliver of him does think it’s abnormal, he doesn’t care. He thinks the whole thing is doable and even offered to take her with us which I denied because I don’t want to take a newborn on a plane and out of the country. AITA for putting a stop to this “once in a lifetime” trip? I would be shocked if he did not find this post so here’s to hoping this doesn’t turn into another argument.EDIT: additional info that he’d probably want me to add: I had a really difficult birth and he was a fantastic partner the first few weeks and mentioned that I’d deserve a trip like this after that difficulty.Further edit: he claimed he didn’t know the trip would have to be used before April.",AITA for not going to the Maldives on maternity leave,NTA
10w3b9u,"My (female 54) daughter (26) is living with us. She used to work as a teacher but she's on a medical leave since September last year. My husband (57) works full time in a company and I work full time in the education system as well. My daughter does nothing around the house, she only ever sleeps and occasionally walks the dog we own. She's most of her time sitting in her desk playing games or watching some show on Netflix. Still she insists on showering three times a day (morning, afternoon and night). This has become an issue for my husband and I. We have three more kids besides her but all of them are grown up and live alone, she used to live alone too before some stuff happened which made her have to move in with us. When all of our children had moved away my husband and I sold our oldest house which was big to buy a smaller one as we didn't need that many rooms. This house only has two bedrooms and one bathroom. My husband and I both wake up at 7:00 AM everyday to go to work. He has to be there by 8:30 so he showers first, I shower after him because I have to be at my work place at 9:00AM. That was our routine but now our daughter wakes up around half an hour after us and she takes the bathroom to get a shower. That means that one of us will miss their opportunity to have a shower before work. We have talked before and told her that she should have breakfast with us and have a shower after we leave as she's not in a rush. She said she needed to get a shower as soon as she wake up for whatever reason. I told her to wake up later, she told me she can't sleep any further because we make noise and wake her up. Then in the nights it's the same. We're tired and just want to have a shower, eat some dinner and go to bed after work. But we have to wait until she gets her shower first. So we approached her again and this time we told her that from now on she'll have to shower just once a day, in the afternoon, so we get to shower before/after work. She took it very badly and accused us of being assholes and using the shower as a excuse to tell her we think she does nothing all day. Our kids are on our side but the way she spoke to us made me feel very bad, it makes me think that maybe I'm an jerk. I understand that she might still be used to our oldest house which had more than one bathroom and this didn't happened but also I think she needs to understand us too.",AITA for limiting my daughter to just one shower per day?,NTA
10w3t65,My father got my mom pregnant in university.  She didn't want me and my grandparents did. I grew up with my grandparents raising me.  They did their best but I am definitely a handful and they had trouble keeping up.  I wasn't a bad kid or anything. I just had a lot of energy and I should have been a grandchild they spoil not an extra kid. They love me and they did their best.  My father on the other hand was kind of a dick hole.  He would never spend time with me and when he graduated and later got married I wasn't even an afterthought.  The cool stuff about my grandparents though was all their stuff.  My grandfather has a garage full of tools.  He does all the repairs on their vehicles and around the house  My grandmother has antique kitchen gadgets that she taught me how to use.  It was like growing up in a time machine. My grandfather helped me build my first desktop.  He can do anything with his hands. He also taught me how to take care of his old car.  Him and my grandmother have regular cars but he also has an old muscle car.  It would not be out of place in the Fast and Furious movies.  I am getting married this summer and my grandparents decided to gift me the old car.  He always said he was going to give it to my father but I guess he changed his mind.  I asked my grandfather what bi could do with the car.  He said it was 100% mine.  I could do whatever I wanted.  Talked to my fiance. He said that it was a beautiful collectors item but not really something we could afford to keep.  We decided we are going to have our wedding pictures taken with the car and then we are going to sell it.  We have talked to places that sell these cars and we will get enough for a good downpayment on a house.  My father found out that I got the cat and he is mad.  He says it was supposed to go to him and he was going to keep it to give his son.  I said that if he got it appraised I would give him the right to buy it.  He got it appraised.  He could afford it but not easily.  He says I'm being a bitch and holding his past behavior against him.  No shit Sherlock.  He abandoned me and now wants me to play nice.  My fiance says we should find a compromise because my father wants to keep the car in the family.  I'm going to be honest.  I don't want my father or my half brother to get this car.  I would rather sell it to a stranger.  My grandparents love the idea of wedding pictures with the car and then knowing that they helped us buy a house.  My grandfather said it was fate that he kept the car and never let my father drive it.  I have driven it.  It scares me.  I like my Nissan Leaf.  I do feel a bit like a jerk for keeping my father from getting the car.  AITA?,"AITA for selling ""my father's"" car.",NTA
10vz7yx,"I live in Germany, my mom died and I had to go back to the US for a month. I asked a friend to hold the keys to my car just in case. She ran a red light in a construction zone which came with a 300 euro fine, a month long license suspension and a 2 points on my license. I told her I’d help pay the fine, because she was watching the car for me, but I didn’t want the suspension or points on my license. So I showed the police how it wasn’t possible I was driving. Flash forward, she got a lawyer the lawyer took good care of her and despite it wasn’t possible I was driving, the court is now putting the blame on me because I was the owner of the car. Am I the asshole for asking her to please correct this with the authorities pay the fine and take the suspension? I’m now to blame for all of this even though I physically have proof I wasn’t driving the car but because her lawyer fought on her behalf to blame me, and I have no one else to point the finger to, I am now being held accountable for all of this.Edit: I feel bad because she just got a new job that requires her to drive, but I’m not sure why I need to be responsible for her mistake.",AITA My friend ran a red light in a construction zone in my car - I reported it wasn’t me.,NTA
10w358h,"I (22f) have a very small immediate family that I celebrate Christmas with, and we always get together on Christmas Day to celebrate. Most of that side of the family (My mom’s side), especially my aunt (61f), are mostly a judgmental bunch who like to constantly point out when I look different, they’ve done this since I was about 10 years old. When I was overweight, my aunt and cousin would like to point it out. When I lost a lot of weight after high school, I was asked if I’ve been purposefully skipping meals or have an ED. Aka, nothing I do is really enough for them, they always have to find some flaw to point out. But anyways, to the point of this post, most of our celebration was going well. But, towards the start of the evening, I saw my uncle talking to my aunt and him looking hesitant before my aunt handed me a gift. My uncle said to me before I opened it, “This wasn’t my idea, it was hers”, pointing to my aunt. And what was in there, was one of those long inflatable tube men you normally see large ones of at car shops, but a mini version (Just look up inflatable tube man and it’ll come up right away). Normally I wouldn’t be so upset over a gag gift, but this one specifically hurt because I have TS (Tourette’s Syndrome), and it was really bad when I was younger to the point where I developed severe neck pain from the certain tics I had. And surprise, my aunt used to make fun of me and compare me to one of those things when my tics were really bad, and it hurt me, a lot. And I’ve said many times to her that this was one of the things that really bothered me about myself, even when I was younger.So of course, I started to cry because that’s one of the things I was extremely self conscious about. Most of my family was supportive of me and asked her why she would do that, while my aunt and my mom (58f), just told me that it was a joke and that I shouldn’t be so upset about it. So I walked out of the house and locked myself in my mom’s car and got my crying over and done with. I would have left tbh, but I can’t drive because of my TS and another medical condition. I eventually had to come back in because it was freezing and I couldn’t feel my hands after that (Another medical condition). We kinda continued as normal, but I feel like I really put a damper on everyone’s mood and made my aunt to look like an asshole in front of everyone. I’m asking a bit late because I’m still, even after months, getting extreme anxiety over thinking about this, thinking I overreacted and could’ve found a better way to handle this. So, AITA?",AITA for walking out of our Christmas celebration because of a gift I received?,NTA
10vy787,"I (34F) have four children from two separate men: Jack (5m), Kate (6f), Sarah (8f), and Ana (13f). Sarah's birthday was in January, and her father didn't give her anything, so we had to forego some things. (Because I had just started a new work, the income was fairly low for our requirements.) For her birthday, we merely had cake and some snacks, which wasn't what Sarah had wanted; she claimed it was fine, but I could see she was disappointed. I felt terrible. Anyway, Ana just turned 13 yesterday, and her father has generously offered me money to throw her a big party with plenty of snacks and gifts, and to invite the entire neighborhood. I felt horrible for Sarah and worried that if I gave Ana a big party, she'd think I was being unjust, so I declined and told him we were okay with his regular portion. He was furious and questioned whether I cared about preparing her birthday, to which I replied that of course I did. We had a disagreement, and I ended up not responding to him. I spoke with Ana and told her everything, and she was furious. I explained how it would hurt Sarah's feelings, and she claimed she didn't care and went to her room. I understand why she was upset, but Sarah is younger than her, and I'm afraid it would hurt Sarah's feelings. AITA?",AITA for not giving my daughter a proper birthday?,YTA
10w0wcp,"I (30f) am getting married next year to my fiancé (35m) & we have planned our dream wedding. We have been together for 10 years and we have picked up additional jobs on top of our 9-5s to help pay for our wedding. Our ceremony is relatively small (30 people) of our closest friends and family with an additional 20 attending for the reception - we have not sent our invites out yet but have told our nearest and dearest the dates to save. My fiancé has 5 groomsmen and I have 5 bridesmaids too; 3 of my best friends, my SIL to be & my oldest half sister. For background info, I have 2 half sisters that are 8-10 years older than me from my dads first marriage.I did not grow up with them or see them regularly so I guess we never had that usual sisterly bond with them until I was 10 years old when my oldest sister, who is 10 years older than me, moved in with my dad, mum and I for about a year. We became very close instantly and is the best big sister I could ask for. She only lives an hour away, we talk everyday and meet up frequently - she also has 5 children whom I adore and love being an Aunty to them. My middle sister, (8yrs older) I have maybe only met a handful of times. I last saw her 2 years ago, and last contact before now was early 2022. My fiancé has never met her. We have tried to form a bond but we are 2 very different people and bicker frequently. However we would keep each other posted about significant life events and be happy for each other. When she fell pregnant she told my whole family (our dad, my mum, our Aunty and our oldest sister) but not me, which I didn’t mind but each of them had told me about it and followed with “Don’t tell her we told you, wait till she tells you herself”. I waited, excited about the news to have another niece or nephew, but she announced her pregnancy on social media. I was hurt a little but understood as I know we aren’t super close and that sort of proved it. Roll around 6 months and my fiancé proposes, I ask my oldest sister to be my MOH. My middle sister catches wind of this and is very upset saying she will never speak to me again, won’t be attending our wedding and has since blocked me on all social media platforms & my mobile number. My family has said that it’s unfair that I haven’t asked her to be a bridesmaid and that “blood is thicker than water” (which I strongly disagree with) and should have asked her just to “keep the peace”. My bridal party are very special people in my life that I couldn’t imagine not having by my side when I marry the love of my life. TLDR; I didn’t ask one of my sister’s to be a bridesmaid because we aren’t that close. AITA?",AITA for not asking my sister to be a bridesmaid?,NTA
10w3mhc,"Am I an asshole for believing ""psychics"" are really just scum of the earth who can look at someone in the face, and take advantage of people who have lost loved ones and apparently connect with them in the afterlife? I legitimately feel like so many people are getting taken for a ride with these people.My mother is on a fixed income and I feel as though she is being taken advantage of by people who claim to be able to communicate with people who passed away. She gets very upset at me when I try and tell her these people are taking advantage of people's broken hearts. AITA?Edit: when she doesn't have money to cover her living expenses, I'm the one who gets the shit end of the stick when I have to cover what is missing when I truly cannot afford to do so.",AITA for not believing in psychic abilities?,NTA
10w2xbn,"I have seen several posts where people agree that it is wrong to force a dress code at a wedding, so I am looking for some support regarding my Daughters wedding.  Let’s call her Amy (28F) for now.  My wife ( 54F)  and I (56M) are very conservative in our dress and prefer traditional gender roles for ourselves.  Our daughter is in a relationship with another woman , Dee, who is quite nice.  We accept them and will happily attend the wedding.   It took some time for my wife and I to come to terms with her lifestyle, but we have grown and value Amy( and Dee as well)  in our life.  The issue comes with the dress code.  They say NO DRESSES OR SKIRTS allowed.   Both brides will be in elegant pant suits. I suppose you could call both of them more masculine leaning.  My wife does not wear pants.  Never has, per our faith we believe it to be inappropriate. Amy can do as she pleases, we will not. My wife and I spoke with Amy regarding the dress code for the wedding and to tell her that my wife would be wearing a dress. Amy said to wear the pant suit or not attend.  She stated that we frequently made her wear dresses as a child and teen despite knowing how opposed to them she was. She states we always claimed the dress code was the choice of the host and it was our job to wear what the host demanded.  Hence for every wedding, funeral, family reunion, etc. she was made to wear dresses as our daughter. Once she became of age she could choose her own manner of dress, but when she lived in OUR home she dressed according to the family faith and values.She now states that since SHE is the host, she is setting the dress code for pants.  We can either obey the host and wear the proper clothing or not be allowed. My wife is absolutely livid.  I told my daughter this violates our belief and how we feel most comfortable.  I put forth that she now chooses to dress how she prefers, we should be able to dress as we prefer.   She stated the only way my wife can wear a dress is if I wear one too.  Which is absolutely ridiculous. We are all adults, you can not force adults to violate their beliefs to dress a certain way! Are we in the right that my wife should be allowed to wear a dress to this ‘pants / slacks only’ event?  Would we be wrong if she shows up in a dress anyways?",AITA Forced Wedding Attire?,YTA
10w1axv,"So I (f17) will be attending a school dance in a couple of days (this friday). I have never ever put on makeup and still think I will not for upcoming events. (I have nothing against those who use makeup, but for me, it personally and individually means that I would hide my ""insecurities"") Why I think this is because yesterday my mother asked me if I would wear makeup, I said that ""only black nail polish"", then she asked ""nothing else, like...(some makeup things)"" I said ""no need"", then she said ""anything to cover your pimples?"" and I repeated ""no need, pimples are natural"" then she didn't say anything else. But that is still something that I think, that ""would it be that hard"" or ""it is this one time"". I like how I look, even though I am not the most beautiful person out there. But I don't like the concept of covering up my flaws. (Not saying that the persons that use makeup, would use it for that reason).Also my mind somehow makes this pressure that others would use it too. Like all of my friends. So will I be the ass?The dance is same as prom? The second grade high schoolers will be dancing two times, to other students and teachers, and for our parents etc. It is to celebrate that we second graders will be the eldest of the high school when third graders will be going to reading ""vacation"".",WIBTA for refusing to use makeup for school dance,NTA
10w39no,"My sister (28F) and I (26F) are pretty close. We tell each other everything, Yesterday my sister said she wanted to adopt a newborn. I was confused because she is single and has never wanted kids.When I asked why she wants to adopt newborn babies and raise them till 8 or 9 then give them up saying she can no longer take care of them for whatever reason. I told her she was crazy and that she would be a horrible mother if she did that.She called me an asshole and we haven't spoken since. She has been calling all our friends and family telling them I called her crazy and said she'd be a horrible mother. Now it is a series of friends and family calling to ask why I would say that me explaining what happened and them agreeing that adopting a baby just to raise it for a short while and giving it up is wrong.This morning she called me and told me to stop airing out her dirty laundry I told her she did it first, and she asked me to apologize I told her I was not going to. I'm worried I might be the asshole for possibly ruining our relationship over this, and my wording when telling her it was a bad idea.​Edit: I just found out she had started the adoption process months prior, the only reason she told me was because she had put me down as a reference. She texted me to ""give me a heads up "". She thinks even if I don't agree with her I should still help her out and stand by her. I don't think I can. It would be unfair to the child to have a mother who planned to give them up.It would be unfair to the child to feel unwanted twice. Would I be an asshole and horrible sister if I told them the reason she wanted to adopt? I'm genuinely torn. She is such a kind person, and would definitely treat the baby right. Should I just help her out? She just likes how cute babies are and wants to experience having one. I don't want to take that chance away from her.​Edit 2: She said she would raise them till they were a Pre-teen so i'm assuming around 8 or  9. She said she does not want to deal with ""teenage drama"" nor does she want to put them through collage university etc.",AITA for telling my sister she would be a horrible mother?,NTA
10w4gp0,"My husband and I have been looking for a new house for about a year. We’re looking in two different neighborhoods that are an hour apart. My mom’s friend is a relator in the western neighborhood and she arranged a house showing a few months ago over there but we didn’t end up buying the house. She sent us about a dozen more listings via email but none were what we wanted so we didn’t see them. Since then, my husband’s realtor friend whose specialty is the eastern neighborhood showed us a few houses over here and talked a lot with my husband about our house search. This guy sold us our current house. 2 days ago I sent my mom’s friend a link to a house I was interested in, in her neighborhood, and she showed it to me yesterday. My husband wasn’t able to go so I went with my parents. My dad is very handy so he looked at all the technical stuff. I loved the house and since we’ve been looking for a year I know what we want and don’t want. I told her we’d like to put an offer down- they are due today at 6pm! And she said she’s not going to put an offer down unless my husband sees it first. I took pictures and videos and my husband knows the neighborhood so him and I are both comfortable buying this house with only me seeing it (and my parents). Btw we are paying mostly cash for it, it’s well within our means and our current house is about the same price so it’s not the first time we’re buying a house together and it’s not going to put us into bankruptcy or anything. My mom also grew up in the area so we’re very familiar with it. So offers are due today but my husband decided last night that he can’t go see it. Even though the lady offered to show it to him any time today before 2pm, he works and probably can’t leave the office today. So he asked his relator friend to put the offer in for us. He said yes no problem! He’ll put an offer in for us without us even going to see it. Because he trusts my husband. There’s a small chance my husband will be able to go see it during lunch now. First of all, am I the only one who finds that a bit sexist that this lady refuses to put an offer down on the house based only on my opinion? I clearly discussed it with my husband on the phone in front of her and sent him a ton of pictures and he trusts my opinion. But she refused. I feel like if my husband was there instead of me, she wouldn’t have had that policy. But moreover, what do I owe my mom’s friend? Am I screwing her over? My husbands relator said he can work something out with her (meaning give her a cut of the sale since she showed it to me first). Is that sufficient? Do I need to update her and tell her we’re going with a different relator? I don’t want to cause an issue between her and my mom.Btw, the reason she wants him to see it also is so we don’t have ‘buyers remorse’",WIBTA if I don’t buy this house through this relator?,NTA
10w07s9,"EDIT : Thank you everyone for your comments, I appreciate them all, even the harsh ones 🥲. It made a lot of sense and helped me understand why Id be the AH in this situation. For those wondering why Im dumb, clueless and sound like a teenager - Ive been sheltered my whole life so I have very little experience when it comes to ‘adulting’. My dad is very protective and still sees me as a child and sometimes treats me as one too. Ive also been taught that after marriage I can live a ‘free’ life and do as I please, which is why Im opting for marriage. Im still learning how to ‘adult’ before I get married because I have NO clue what Im doing. Thank you all, I have learned from this! So my (22) dad bought me a brand new phone for my 21st birthday ( on contract ) and he’s been paying it off every month. Recently, my bf and I have been discussing getting married and my dad mentioned that when I get married I will have to pay for my own phone bill. I guesssss it makes sense , since Im no longer under my dad’s care and will be moving out after marriage, but on the other hand my dad bought the phone for me as a gift so shouldn’t he continue to pay for it? I haven’t mentioned or spoke to him about it yet , I don’t want to sound like an AH for making him still pay it off. Im willing to pay it off but this isn’t making sense to me.WIBTA ??",WIBTA if I don’t want to pay for my own phone bill?,YWBTA
10w3zjp,"Recently I've told my mother that i am not her personal source of income and to not expect me to give more than what i am willing to give. I only take care of myself as much as possible and she has said that I'm being selfish. Me, being tired of this back and forth, agreed with her and said I will deal with the consequences of my own actions when that bridge comes.My mother has 6 children excluding myself, 3 boys and 3 girls.Before she had my youngest siblings, twin boys, I had just finished high school and was in the process of choosing which university I wanted to attend. That same year she told me I will not be able to go to Uni because of financial reasons and the fact that she was pregnant and would need help. I didn't complain and tried to understand things from her pov and started looking for jobs instead so I can pay my own tuition. This was when the pandemic hit and we were put on lockdown so I was unable to find a job that would hire me. I started babysitting for a low fee during the 2 years so I could start saving. When I turned 20, I got my first steady job and was excited to start working towards my education. Two months after I started working my mother told me that she was upset and disappointed in me. When I asked her why, she then explained that a child is expected to help their parents and the household they live by making monthly contributions and she didn't expect that she had to tell me that. I get paid per fortnight and she wanted me to contribute $500 every time I got paid, that's $1000 every month. When I told her I'm no longer a child and the only reason I got a job was to start taking care of myself and make things easier for her, she threatened to throw me out. I ""pranked"" her, by saying I was moving out and made it realistic by packing my bags, to see her reaction. She was very upset and said some really nasty things to my father when she thought I wasn't listening, compared me to children of Asian and East Indian descent saying that they at least help their parents when they're young and other things. That was the last straw for me. I realized that talking any further with her was a waste of my time and no less than a year later I got a second job. I am now only giving her $500 contribution like she wanted but I have stopped other things like lending her money and buying items I see that are missing around the house. She constantly tries to guilt trip me by using my younger siblings as ammo. I do care about my brothers and sisters and help them out when I can but I'm tired of my mother's nonsense.",AITA for telling my mom I'm not her personal piggy bank?,NTA
10w1wtr,"I 23 F and my sister 18 F live in a country where it’s legal to drink and go clubbing at 18, we only have gone out together when ever we’ve been in luxury hotels that have nightclubs in them or gone to little local bars, this is because she wants to go to the most exclusive places and I’ve been denied entrance to those kind of places because of my weight and how I look, she, on the other hand, has been going to those snobby places from time to time with her friends (she doesn’t go as much because she moved to another city and has not made as much friends as she’d like to) while I go to gay clubs or underground nightclubs to party (in a different city).The thing is that whenever we travel (at least 4 times a year) she wants to go clubbing (ONLY to the fanciest places in town) and I’m not quite comfortable with that, I don’t want to be rejected right in front of her and experience that public humiliation all over again, AITA for not wanting to go even when it is well known that I’ll be judge, ignored and possibly be denied entrance?",AITA for not wanting to go clubbing with my sister?,NTA
10vyngo,"Me (23m) and my gf (22f) have been together just over 2 years. We have spoken about the importance of making sure we both have social lives outside of the relationship. I hadn't seen my best friend in months and we made plans to catch up. The plan was to go to a bar for food and a couple of drinks first and then go to a couple more bars and just make a night of it, maybe end up in a club. Since my gf had met my friend a couple of times before I asked if she wanted to come to the first bar to get food with us and then she could either go out with friends, go home etc so me and my friend have time to catch up just the 2 of us for the rest of the bars.She agreed and said she understood that I needed the time with just me and my friend to catch up and that she would get the bus home after food at the first bar.. When it came to the night of our plans, I noticed my gf getting dressed up as if for a full night out but didn't mention it because I didn't want to make it seem like I was questioning what she was wearing. We got to the first bar and everything was going well ad when it came to leaving the first place, my gf made no mention of going home so she came with us to the second bar and said she would get the last bus home. The second place was busy so we didn't stay long so made our way to the third bar with my gf still with us. We ordered a drink at this place and it was getting late so I asked my gf what time her bus was. She stood up and pretty much shouted that it was clear I didn't want her thre so she was leaving and not to follow her out etc. This caused a scene and pretty much ruined the night.The next day she said it was clear I didn't want her there and I pointed out that the plan was only for her to stay for the first place and she ignored me. AITAf for asking my gf what time her bus was?",AITA for asking my girlfriend what time her bus was?,NTA
10w54mt,"When I was 16, I used retainers for a while and while my parents were getting a divorce, my dental treatments were highly delayed. I didnt know a lot or any better at the time to be on top of it and to ask my parents to take me to my appointments. They were going through a lot anyways so I didnt think of it. But during that, my mother threw my retainers out thinking it was ""too disgusting to keep that long"". She had no knowledge of dental treatments at all and was too stubborn to realize what she did after I yelled at her knowing my teeth/jaw will be deformed again. Sure enough overtime, I gotten my under-bite and deformed teeth again and my mother claims that I eat too much junk food is the reason why it's like that.So today is the time when I actually want to fix my teeth again and it's obviously not cheap. I have a decent job, bought my house with my wife, have a dog and child. There wasnt a thing I asked her to buy for me since I gotten my first job at 14/15. Realistically, I can afford to fix my teeth but keep thinking about the time when my mom didnt bother to listen to me about my treatment over 16 years ago, I feel I have every right to at least ask for the ""compensation"". I honestly dont even care if she declines because it would just show how petty she is. But I just like to know if WIBTA to even ask?",WIBTA if I(32m) ask my mom to pay for my dental treatments?,YWBTA
10w53yr,"I (17F) have been having insomnia. I’m used to just ignoring my health issues, because my parents never take me to the doctors unless I beg them to for multiple days. I woke up at around 9:00 am to go downstairs and make breakfast. I put an English muffin into the toaster, and my dad (51M)comes into the kitchen, saying that he’s making a new rule in the house that if you wake up past nine, you can’t make breakfast and you’ll have to wait till lunch. I told him he’s cutting it close, basically that it’s weird he chose right after I woke up as the time when we can’t have breakfast anymore. He said I would have been fine had I woke up earlier, and then he said that if I hadn’t stayed up all night “playing video games” that I’d have woken up earlier. I don’t play video games after eight because I like to wind down before going to sleep. Then he asked me what time I went to sleep. I answered honestly, that I had no idea, since I take forever to fall asleep because I have insomnia. He then said that I wouldn’t have insomnia if I had a schedule for the day. I do have a schedule. Wake up, eat breakfast, do homework, take a shower, and then do whatever for the rest of the day. He also knows that my clinically diagnosed anxiety triggers my insomnia. He finished off the squabble by telling me I should’ve just said “yes dad” and that he doesn’t know why I can’t just say that every time he tells me to do something. First he’d pick a fight about my grades. Now my grades are good, so he’s moving on to something else to put me down for. He might just be frustrated from having to do housework, since he lost his job and my mom recently had surgery. But he’s acted like this since before then, so I don’t know. He always says that his father treated him worse, so I should be grateful he doesn’t beat me and my older siblings. Maybe that’s why he acts the way he does.",AITA for telling my dad that I have insomnia,NTA
10w4xlg,"I (22M) am marrying the most amazing woman I’ve ever met(21F), I’ll call her L. I met L about 2 years ago and we’ve had a rough time with my mom (42F) I’ll call her A. When I first met L she had a 7mo old baby boy that I fell in love with and have been blessed enough to call mine aswell. She brought our son to meet my family fairly early into our relationship. Well on that day L went to put our son to sleep and then came outside to talk. He woke up about an hour later and A decided to pick him up and try to “calm him down” when L went to get him back A freaks out and says she knows how to be a mom and tells L to go back outside and be “kids.” L finally gets Our son back and puts him back down. A and I get in a huge fight after that and pretty much any conversation after that has been a fight. She also continued to use my credit without my permission overspent and made a phone bill that I didn’t know about. The phone bill went to collections and dropped my score over a hundred point. She called me a few months ago and asked if she was invited to the wedding and I told her I’d think about it and call her back. After thinking and talking to L we’ve decided against it. A says I’m terrible and should call her to fix our relationship when I grow up, so AITA?",AITA for not inviting my mom to my wedding?,NTA
10w1g2z,"Gonna try and keep this backstory short, so here goes. My mum and dad grew up in Ireland and New Zealand respectively. They met when my dad was backpacking and moved over to Australia and had me. Becuase of this, I was never remarkably close with any of my extended family.It’s not like I never talked to them, I saw them a lot on video calls, I just didn’t have as big of a bond with them as other kids might’ve with their families.It was only recently when I started to become more prevalent on social media that this really caused any problems, and most of the problems were on my mums side. Whenever she sees me on Snapchat, always talks about how dissapointing it is that I never talk to any of my cousins. Her argument is that when she was growing up, her cousins were like her best friends. See the difference here is, Her cousins lived up the road, mine live on the other side of the world. On top of this, I have recently been plagued by moderate social anxiety, particularly around kids my age. And then there’s the obvious reason. I don’t really want to be online friends with my cousins. I’ve got a good group of friends whom I spend alot of time taking to, so I don’t really see the need to maintain an online friendship with even more people.",AITA for not wanting to start online friendships with my cousins?,NTA
10vzpka,"This happened maybe a year ago now, but I'm still thinking about it. I (20m, 19m at the time) live with my girlfriend and her family. Her older sister (22 f, 21f at the time) who we'll call Charity was a few grades above me in high school. She's tall and broad-shouldered, and she took weightlifting classes all year, so needless to say she was a bit intimidating at first. Once I started hanging out with my girlfriend, however, I quickly learned that Charity is actually pretty chill and puts up the tough girl act to protect herself. She's been through shit, her dad's an abusive prick, so she avoids confrontation like the plague.We have several cats in our house. At the time this happened I think we had five. That means we need multiple litter boxes around the house so they don't just start pissing everywhere. And having that many cats means those litter boxes need cleaned often. Our house has a finished basement where Charity and one other person live. They agreed that Charity would handle the two litter boxes that were downstairs while the other kept their bathroom clean. One of the litter boxes is positioned at the bottom of the stairs, and over time the strong smell of cat pee started wafting upstairs. Charity said that she had just recently cleaned the cat boxes, but the smell kept getting stronger and stronger.Finally, her mom sent me downstairs to check the litter boxes down there myself. My eyes literally stung from the concentration of cat urine stench in the air. There were logs of cat turds growing mold. We have the kind of litter boxes that have a slot at the bottom where you place a potty pad. I opened that slot and the pad had, somehow, fucking dissolved. I didn't think they could do that, but the container was just a dark brown slurry of cotton and cat piss. It was disgusting.Charity must heave heard me gagging, because she came out of her room and saw me checking the boxes. She swore up and down that she cleaned the boxes the day before and the cats simply piss that much. I told her that literally isn't possible. Mold doesn't grow overnight and if our cats are all pissing this color they need to go to the vet. Realizing that her lies aren't working, she gets upset with me and says it's fucked up that I had to come check on her like a little kid who doesn't want to do their homework. I agreed, it was fucked up that she was letting it get this bad and practically forcing me to go downstairs and do it myself.I cleaned that litter box, one of the most nasty things I have ever done, and checked the other, but it wasn't nearly as bad. Charity has kept them clean ever since, but sometimes when she's doing it she gives me a side eye or huffs really loudly if I'm in the room. I'm starting to think that I was a little too harsh when I went down there and snapped at her. Maybe if I had been a bit more gentle about it we could've resolved it without resentment. AITA?",AITA for checking the litter boxes?,NTA
10w50qw,"Background: parents breed large dogs. A family member and myself live with parents (moved back in to save for house, pay rent, etc). Family member and my sibling both have puppies from my parents for free.My parent last night told me she doesn’t want my partner (who I don’t live with) to buy a puppy from them because we are lazy and sleep in. I was actually flabbergasted. For years I have been the one to drive the dogs to the vet, to dog shows hours away, hike with them, bathe them, take care of puppies all night, etc. Currently we have three litters and I take care of them from after work until midnight daily. Haven’t slept in in over 8 weeks because of this. Boyfriend doesn’t sleep in and has been at our house constantly helping with these puppies.If I take care of the dogs I never do it correctly. Walk them an hour, should have done two. Feed the puppies what they wrote down, should have feed them something else. It’s been constant for years. My family members who have puppies don’t do these things but that’s fine. I do them and I’m still lazy. I’m ready to say I’m no longer helping because obviously I’m never going to reach their standards. WIBTA to stop helping?",WIBTA to stop helping my parents with their animals?,NTA
10w156g,"I (21m) have been dating my girlfriend (19f) and recently I have been coming around her house. Every time I go to her house her dog acts quite strangely to me, the first time he tried to attack me but recently he has become quite friendly. So friendly IN FACT that he now licks my crotch and I told her that I don’t feel comfortable and that I don’t like her dog. She is now mad and refuses to talk to me AITA",AITA For telling my girlfriend I don’t like her dog,NTA
10w2pxt,"I bought a house last year that my fiancé and I moved into. The house is in my name since I put all the money down, she agreed to give me $600/month toward the payment (about 30% of the total) and split utilities. We normally split most expenses 50/50. In November 2022 she said she didn’t like the cold and wanted to go spend some time with her parents in the South, where I’ve visited her twice. She is now saying that she shouldn’t split utilities with me for December and January because she wasn’t living here.In the past, I would have just rolled over and paid it all myself. However right now I have very low income, only $24k last year, since I am working on my family business and earning sweat equity. She is making over $95k + benefits at a corporate job (remote). She Bought a new car, took her mom to Cancun, and has significant savings. I have never asked for nor expected even $1 over 50% of shared expenses.Utilities are really forking me even though I keep the heat at 62, have replaced all light bulbs to LEDs, and spend 10 hours a day at my business away from home. I had to sell stock in my retirement portfolio to cover my bills last month. I can’t afford groceries so I take leftovers from work for dinner when I can. It’s been a serious struggle but I believe in our vision and path to success. I have had plans to rent out the house, either just one bedroom, or Airbnb. This has been the plan from the start, I spent a lot of time last year fixing it up. I can’t rent it out while my fiancés stuff is here.After a long fight she reluctantly agreed to give me $600 for rent (minus $200 I apparently owed her for a rental car I never wanted), and nothing for utilities. She has called me pathetic for even asking , saying things like “this says a lot about you as a man.”AITA for asking for her support on utilities?",AITA for asking my fiancé to continue to split utilities while she travels?,NTA
10vz6oc,Okay so short story long- My(29F) partner and I live two hours away from my parents. My sister(25F) lives about half an hour from them and is often over for there for dinner and visiting them. Anytime my partner and I want to come and visit my parents- she’s there. Whilst we do get along- she’s a moody individual. Makes everything about her. If I’m informing my family of anything new she has to add “oh but I this or that” And often times she can sour the mood if things don’t go her way. I haven’t seen my family since before Christmas due to work and a personal trauma my partner and I experienced. I’m currently staying at my parents for 2 weeks whilst training for my new job and my Dads birthday happens to be this weekend. My partner and I decided we would like to take my Mum and Dad out to lunch and pay for everything as our gift as whenever we go out as a family (sister included) Dad usually pays (not due to lack of partner wanting to pay or at least contribute for drinks) So we wanted to do this for him. Sister wants to come over on the Friday (Dads actual birthday) AND join the lunch on the Saturday. My partner is civil to my sister but disagrees how she speaks to me and even sometimes my parents and how she constantly mooches of them and especially my Dads generosity. WIBTA for telling my parents I’d just like to have some time with them and my partner without my sister also being there?,WIBTA for telling my parents I’d like to spend time with them without my sister there?,NTA
10w5p32,"So yesterday evening we had a man from Sky replacing some wires for our Internet, including putting a new one in from out old socket to the new one. Unknown to me, he left some screws on the floor and some wiring. I (24m) Woke up this morning to my Dad's gf (He is Way for work) shouting at me saying I intentionally left them there and that her daughter (1 year) could die. I said to her I never knew they were there and had I known, I would of cleared them all away. She continued shouting at me calling me lazy and uncaring, so I started shouting back saying she's acting like I changed the wires and left them there on purpose. She continued shouting so I told her to ""Fuck off"" and that she's a ""a piece of shit"". My dad phoned me not long after siding with her and telling me to ""Sort my shit out"". I spoke to my grandparents (They own the house and are moving back in a few months. Dad and his GF will be moving away around April-May) They sided with me and said that it's the workers fault and obviously I hadn't know he left screws and wires behind. They told me not to worry and that I should just look forward to them moving out. Can't help but feel like I overreacted even though it wasn't my fault. AITA?",AITA? Dad's GF started shouting at me so I shouted back.,NTA
10w5gea,"I started a new job around 6 months ago and my workplace is primarily female. 3 other people started at the same time as me but only 1 of them was doing the same job as me, lets call her Rebecca (23f). The job is mainly work from home so I have barely even met a lot of the people I work with and the ones I have met, I have only met once or twice. Part of the job involves exams that we need to complete over 3 years. Me and Rebecca, along with 2 of the people who started the job the year before us, had the same exams last term. This meant we would message at work most days with revision tips and things and with me and Rebecca both being new, we would ask each other how we're finding the job, how we're settling in etc. It was nice to have a friend at work. Whenever we spoke it was in work time on the works laptop so it's not like we were messaging over social media or anything. We didn't even have each other on social media. A couple of nights before the exam Rebecca messaged over messenger to quickly ask a question about one of the topics and then after the exam to ask how I thought it went. Apart from that we didn't message on social media again until results day where she messaged to ask how I had done and to say she'd passed. Those are the only times we have messaged outside of work. When my gf asks how my day has gone or what I have been up to at work, Rebecca would occasionally get mentioned but I wouldn't sit and talk about her, she would just be mentioned in passing. Rebecca also has a boyfriend which my gf knows about. My gf recently asked to talk and said she's unhappy with the amount I am messaging Rebecca and that she thinks I need to cut it back. I pointed out we don't even talk that much and she's a colleague and a friend so I'm not just going to stop talking to her when I've done nothing wrong. Every time my laptop makes a noise when I get a message my gf will now ask if that's Rebecca and she's saying I talk to her too much. She again asked if I was going to cut down talking to Rebecca and I said no. She called me an AH and said I'm talking to her too much.AITA for refusing to cut down how much I talk to a colleague?",AITA for refusing to cut down talking to a colleague?,NTA
10vywxo,"A throwaway account since my boyfriend is a fellow redditor.I (F21) am a college student with no income. My boyfriend of 2 years (M23) runs his own company and makes quite a lot of money. A couple of months ago, we went on a trip that we paid for fifty-fifty. I really enjoyed it, but I basically spent all of my money on it. My boyfriend now asked me if I wanted to go on another trip, to which I replied that I no longer had any money (he didn't know the last trip made me broke). He replied that he didn't care and that he could pay for everything since he wanted to go and would much rather go there with me than alone, even if he had to pay. I refused because I didn't want to feel like I was living off his money. He got offended by the fact that I wouldn't allow him to pay for the trip. I usually have no problem with him paying for dinner or other small things, but a trip is too much to accept.AITA?",AITA for refusing to go on a trip all paid for by my boyfriend?,NAH
10w3edw,"I (19) lost my car due to black ice on an interstate and  had been pressured by my Grandma (G) and Dad (D) to buy a car off my uncle for $500 and I didn't want to because my Uncle doesn't maintenance or take care of his vehicles, but I bought it to get them off my back about it. The car has 2 major leaks and no electric power steering, no dash, the front ends not very good and the shocks are going out. G felt bad and responsible for convincing me to get the car (especially when we had a bad snow and I could barely get home in the car) when I didn't want it and guilt tripped me by crying to get me to take hers when I told her I'd get myself out of the situation I was in. That was a little over a month ago. And I've been getting excuses after excuses about why I can't get the car (which is fine cuz I didn't want it to begin with) and my car is steadily getting worse because I don't wanna put money in it just to auction it off. I was told to come get it one weekend and that if I didn't she was bring ing it to me (3hr drive) so I went and then she told me I needed to call insurance first to make sure I could afford it (it was Sunday and I had work Monday) then everytime after that has been excuse after excuse why I can't get it yet. Whether it be weathers too bad or something with the mechanic. The last excuse was it's my dad's B-day (she's my mom's mom, and my mom hasn't been around for a few years due to personal issues on her end) I'm tired of being drug around when I could've already fixed some big issues on my car by now. So WIBTA to tell her to just keep it and I'll fix my own?There is a considerable amount of details being left out because of the text limit, but I'll answer any questions about the situation.",WIBTA For Telling My Grandma To Keep Her Car?,NTA
10w4b0b,"My girlfriend (26F) and I (27M) have been dating for 2.5 years. I’m budget-conscious and into personal finance, and she is…not. I’ve tried to educate her on how to manage her finances, but she’s never taken it to heart and has essentially lived paycheck to paycheck for our entire relationship.For context, we were making about the same amount for a while, enough to get by where we live and then some, but not a huge surplus. I took a job 9 months ago that gave me a 50% raise. She took a job 5 months ago that has the same base salary as her previous job, but with commission that could lead to her making more than me.She moved into my apartment 6 months ago (rent+utilities ~$100 less than her old place). The first 2 months, she was 1 month behind on rent. I didn’t love this, but once she got her new job I knew the commission would help her catch up. But then she stopped paying rent, and soon was 3 months behind. I would bring it up with her, but she gets very defensive/embarrassed.She also owed me $4k for debts I paid off for her because she couldn’t afford the lump sum. She hadn’t paid any of this back for 8-9 months. After a while of her being 3 months behind on rent and not paying debts, I knew the math didn’t math. As I said, I tried bringing it up to her but it didn’t resolve anything, and she kept me in the dark about her finances.So I resorted to something I’m not very proud of: snooping. I went in her phone to look at her bank account. What I saw was a number so small it blew me away, and it didn’t make sense that she could be not paying me and still have this little money. So I looked at her transactions. The day before she had spent over $600 shopping. A couple weeks before that, another $600+. And so on.It was clear she had a problem and I felt taken advantage of. I confronted her about it, and she didn’t get as defensive as expected. I could tell she knew she was in the wrong.After a few days, I came to her with the best resolution I could see. I would have most of her paycheck deposited into my account. I would put it in a “vault” so it was separate from my money, and use it to pay her bills, her debts to me, and ultimately build her some savings. The rest of her paycheck would go to her account for food, gas, and any other discretionary spending.I told her this would take ~6 months. She agreed and was fairly cooperative in helping me set it up. I also discovered she had about $3k in credit card debt. So I cut up and froze her cards, and added that to the debt I’d pay off.She wasn’t exactly happy about this, but she agreed it was for the best and has since told me that it’s a weight off her chest. We’re on our way to her being free of her debt and having savings, and me getting my money back. Still, I think we’d both be embarrassed to tell people about the situation. AITA for snooping through her bank account and taking control of her finances?",AITA for taking over my girlfriend’s finances because she wasn’t paying rent or debts?,NTA
10w2qgk,"Hey all, I was made best man for my brothers wedding around 8 months ago along with one of my brothers closest friends. To cut a long story short 6 months ago I messaged other best man asking if I could do anything to help with the stag do and was met with a reply of its all OK at the moment but may need help with activities which I replied I was happy to help and only a message away if needed. We're going on said stag in around 4 weeks I've begun checking out activities last week and sent suggestions that were met with limited response. Now the other best man has booked activities with no conversation between me and them. Today I received a message from my brother asking if I still wanted to do a speech as he wasn't sure what was going on due to the other best man sorting the stag. I'm admittedly not always the best at replying instantly due to looking after my 2 year old son and working full time in a busy emergency department working 12 hour day and night shifts. Now I feel extremely guilty like I should have done more and have failed in best man duties Am I the ass hole?",AITA? Feel like I've failed at best man duties,INFO
10w1jyv,I (17f) and him (17m) are both still in high school. We both are in our high school band but different instrument’s so different band classes. He has a concert today which is during the school day and I wanted to go and was going to miss then first half of my school day to go.I WAS going to miss the FIRST half of my school day to go. He said I could not go to his concert unless I missed my entire school day. I didn’t want to miss my entire school day. I begged all morning to go to his concert and he said no.So I went to school the first bell rings (I can’t leave school at this point) and then suddenly he wants me to come to his concert when I literally cannot leave school. He is now upset with me and won’t speak to me I am so frustrated. AITA?,AITA for not going to my boyfriends concert,NTA
10w3wn5,"We're good friends, but not very close. I wrote ""girl friend"" and not female friend 'cause I think some people see the word female as offensive.**She's not little by any standards; she's about 5'6"" or 7"" tall with average build (not too fat, not too skinny).** We're both in our twenties.We were at a group hangout in someone's sitting room. She wore a brown shirt that had a pink pony on it. I pointed it out and said it's cute. She smiled and said, ""I'm a pony"", making a whinnying noise.  I laughed and agreed, saying she is a cute little horse。She said, ”don't call me little"". I said it was a compliment, but she said she didn't like it; it was sexist. I understand that she doesn't like it, so I won't call that again.  Anyway it seemed to have kind of pissed her off as the level of happy mood between us immediately decreased and she lost interest in keeping the conversation. I don't know if she's upset and I'm afraid to ask. I think she's not considering the fact that I didn't mean it that way; I don't see it as sexist.We didn't talk again after that. I don't know for sure if she's still pissed, how can I apologize without making it seem like I'm blowing it out of proportion? I didn't really apologize, btw. I didn't exactly say sorry or something else to that effect. I just explained myself - I don't see it as an insult, I didn't mean it as one. Maybe she wants an apology. God, I'm such an overthinker but maybe I should send her a text and apologize. TL;DR. Called my girl friend little and she took offense, saying it was sexist. I haven't apologized cause I don't really know how to or even if I should. I felt like I should have known it was an insult since I know some women and girls take offense to being addressed as females.","AITA for calling my girl friend ""little""?",NTA
10w2g63,"My (38F) husband (40M) has always had trouble waking up in the morning, and I've known this for 20 years. We've been together for 20 years, married for 8. There are stories of his mom shooting him in the face in the morning with a water gun and him still not flinching. He's a very heavy sleeper and it's one of the biggest points of contention in our marriage as I am the total opposite. His catch phrase (well known by everyone) is 'Five more minutes!' which is what he repeats about 50 times a morning as he rolls over and instantly falls back asleep.So we have 3 kids now (all boys) - they are 9, 6 and 3.5 months. The older two are in school now (obviously) and take the bus which leaves at 7:30 AM. They wake up between 6:45-7, get dressed, brush teeth, and eat breakfast. They both need redirection constantly (both ADHD and kind of on another planet) so I usually closely supervise to make sure they are staying on task and getting out on time. Usually dad rolls downstairs about 5 minutes before they need to leave, asks me if there's any coffee, and walks them to the bus stop.With the baby, things have gotten a lot more difficult. I am usually nursing him around the time the boys are waking up and can't deal with the older two. They are getting a lot better at independently getting things done but it's the initial wakeup that's tough (they too are masters of the 'five more minutes' - and I'm so exhausted from the baby that I run the risk of falling back asleep.)Our older kids are getting old enough to notice me getting upset every morning that he will not wake up and help with anything (just an extra set of hands, or you know, parenting... would be great) and are now starting to make comments like ""I wish you would just wake up in the mornings with me, dad"" or ""you said 5 more minutes 15 minutes ago"" or ""mom should be tired, she's the one doing everything."" He's pissed at me now because he thinks I'm projecting my problems with him on our kids and now they are 'teaming up against him.' I'm just fucking exhausted and can't do it all and would appreciate a little bit of help. Any time I try to ask him to help his response is 'Yeah, I forgot, I don't do ANYTHING' and gets all gaslight-y. It's really becoming super draining, but maybe I really am the asshole here? Maybe there's another way for me to beat the point into his head?",AITA for nagging my husband in the morning in front of our kids?,NTA
10w3oa7,"My son and his girlfriend (both early 20s) were pregnant with my first grandchild but had a miscarriage a few days ago, they're both sad but relieved as they didn't feel ready to be parents yet and I have been trying to support them however I can. As I didn't feel it was my news to share, I hadn't told anybody about the pregnancy and they were keeping it quiet until they were at the three-month mark.   The girlfriend's mother made a thoughts and prayers announcement on Facebook about the miscarriage and my mother saw it and rang me angrily demanding to know why I never told her about the baby. I've since had my sister and a cousin contact me on her behalf asking the same thing and saying how hurt she is that I would keep something so important as her great grandmother status from her.   So AITA for keeping quiet?",AITA for not telling my mother she was going to be a great grandmother,NTA
10w3kgm,When I was 14 my older brother went to prison. He was 18 at the time. I've only ever visited him once with my mom because he was on the other side of the country but we talked on the phone a few times a month. He was released just over a month ago. Before he was released I asked my fiancée if he could stay with us for a bit before he finds a job etc. He wasn't really happy about it but he agreed. Since my brother came to stay with us I've spent most of my free time hanging out with him. He and my fiancée don't really get along. And now my fiancée is saying that I'm spending way too much time with him and that since we're engaged I should spend at least some time with him instead. I told him that I'm just super excited about my brother being back and obviously I'm going to spend more time with him because I missed him. We had a small argument and I told him that my brother is more important to me right now. And since I said that my fiancée has been super cold and distant and he's generally just being rude. So AITA?,AITA for telling my fiancée that my brother is more important to me?,YTA
10w39n3,"I (19M) have a friend (18F) who I spend a lot of time with. She got out of a 3 month long relationship over 4 months ago with one of my other friends who, for the sake of this post, we’ll call Adam (18M) Adam was staying with my friend in her university accommodation for the duration of their relationship, and when the relationship ended, he moved out. Since then, my friend (18F) has done nothing but talk about this guy, constantly telling me he’s an asshole, how I should stop being friends with him, everything an ex girlfriend would say. It’s come to a point where she will give me updates on where Adam is, and if he’s in a place where she wants to go, she just won’t go. It’s unbelievably frustrating when she cancels plans just because she might have to see Adam. We were talking on the phone last night, and she immediately brought up Adam, who was not relevant to our conversation at all. I told her that I didn’t want to hear any more about him, and that she needs to stop letting this guy, who mind you, does not even talk about her anymore, rule her life. She hung up the call, and has not returned any of my text messages, and refuses to pick up the phone when I call. AITA?",AITA for telling my friend to stop telling me about her ex boyfriend?,NTA
10w4ljr,"I (31f) and my husband (31m) have been married for 5 years. In our 20s we both would drink and smoke, until it eventually turned into me preferring alcohol and him preferring to smoke weed. This wouldn't be everyday but maybe a few times a week. Now in our 30s, I haven't smoked anything in years and will maybe have one drink per month, while my husband smokes weed nearly everyday if not everyday. When I bring up how it has gotten to a point where it bothers me, sometimes I will get promises of change and how we are in our 30s now so it's time to slow down and maybe switch to edibles or something. Other times, I'm told that I should focus on my weight and my ""sugar addiction"" instead of worrying about him smoking weed. For the record, I am 5'7"" and 200 pounds. I do have a sweettooth and I try to keep that in check. As for my husband, when his munchies kick in a whole box of cereal will disappear in an hour. Despite this, he is at a healthier weight than I am. I am aware that I am overweight and need to work on that, but I can't help but think that he is deflecting or at worst trying to hurt my feelings so I stop bringing up the weed problem. His weed spending is normally about $50 every 4-5 days, but I believe he has tried to curb this to maybe $150 a month as of late. I truly wish he would stop all of the weed altogether, but maybe that is too much to ask.",AITA for expecting my husband to stop smoking weed?,NTA
10w4b75," it's been a while since i've made the original post and back then, i was hoping to seek some validation for my actions. needless to say, despite everyone saying everyone sucked in that post, i took the yta comments seriously and decided to ultimately let him come with me with his parents' money and apologize for coming off as controlling and manipulative. ultimately, there were also a lot of comments saying i should break up simply because we're not compatible and while i wasn't planning to do that, they did plant a seed of doubt for this relationship's future in my head.after almost a week since our argument, we ghosted each other for a while until i decided to reach out and settle this in person. my original intention was to just meet up, apologize and tell him that he could come with me on the trip as my plus one (especially because christmas was coming soon then and i wanted to resolve it before joining his family for their christmas party). however, when we met up to talk, one thing led to another and we ended up discussing how our life goals were not aligned and we were not compatible. i suggested that we should break up but he was insistent that he could change and be less lazy and actually seriously find a job over the term break. i thanked him for his effort in trying to salvage the relationship but decided to just call it quits. after winter break, he kind of distanced himself from our clique. which was fair even though i was still open to sticking with being just friends with him. my other friends heard about what happened and kind of just accepted it.recently i started seeing someone (we haven't made anything official yet but we just got really close) and last week i told him about my japan trip and extended him an invitation. i know it's kind of impossible to raise 5k in a little less than 2 months so i didn't really say anything when he told me he'll ask his parents for a loan (to be honest, ive come to realize how controlling it was to just deny someone help from their parents too)i guess when i told the friends who were going to japan with me, they sort of told our other friends who knew i was kind of seeing someone and it kind of got to my ex cause he texted me yesterday for a catch-up and it felt like he was low-key shading me for allowing someone to go on a trip with me using his parents' money.nonetheless, thanks to everyone for pointing out my toxic behavior and how my last relationship was. hopefully the (potential) next one could be better! have a great year ahead and happy lunar new year to those celebrating <3",UPDATE: AITA for not allowing my boyfriend to come with me on a trip since he was about to ask his parents to pay for all expenses?,YTA
10w42gz,"This happened quite a while ago, so I may be a little fuzzy in terms of the details. I had gone out to eat late a night with a couple friends and there was a really drunk chick at the restaurant.While my friends and I are eating, the girl decides to have a seat at our table and we make it pretty clear that she was unwelcome. After a few racist remarks, she leaves our table to return a later point at which begins munching on my chicken wings and fries. At this point, the waitress already had been notified that was she disturbing us and I tell her that I am refusing to pay for my food. Me and the waitress get into it, claiming it’s my responsibility to make sure that other patrons aren’t eating my food and that I should pay for it. This goes on for a while, and she finally concedes, and our group leaves, me having not paid for my meal while my friends have because their food remained untouched by the drunk girl. I probably ate about two thirds of my food at the point where I refused to pay for it, and I think my entire bill came to about twenty dollars? AITA?",AITA for refusing to pay for my food?,NTA
10w28fq,"I have always been very close with the rest of his family. His sister, though, there’s something about her. She’s always just been very bitchy, fake nice towards me, and hasn’t done anything to make me feel welcomed.  When I first met her, she started a huge fight with my boyfriend because I was wearing one of her old sweatshirts that he’s had for years. I’ve also seen her throw a hissy fit because someone decided to ride with us and not her. But she wants to claim that I have this terrible, nasty attitude. I’ve only had one or two experiences around the family with me having an attitude for our entire year long relationship. I never directed it towards anyone, except my boyfriend. It was just us arguing about stupid stuff. Anyways, a couple weeks ago my boyfriend and I got into our first bad fight. So we thought we were going to break up. I thought I had his mothers number saved but I couldn’t find it, so I reached out to his sister instead. She was being really nice and understanding, but it seemed like she was only doing it to get her brother in trouble. Because, after it all happened, she kind of just Ignored me, and never reach out to me again. I have had issues in the past with just depression and things like that. I’m fine now, but with some of the things we talked about, she should have checked in with me. And she never did. That made me hella uncomfortable so I unfollowed her and her boyfriend, and a couple of his friends. I don’t even get on social media like that and I don’t think it’s a big deal. So I don’t take things like that personally. I genuinely thought we were done so I was trying to sever ties. A week later we decided to work on things but to stay a little more distanced because we were just spending way too much time together. I never followed his sister back (why would I want to) and tbh it would’ve been awkward to follow her back later on. And I maybe get on instagram twice a week so I didn’t even care to do that. I didn’t see her for a few weeks. Not because I was avoiding her. My boyfriend and I just tended to hang out at my place more and with my friends more. His mom has family dinners every Sunday, and it’s hard for all the kids and their significant others to get together. So this Sunday we all got together for the first time in about a month. Not even five minutes into the dinner she just goes “ so not to put you on the spot or anything, but why did you unfollow me and my bf on Instagram?” In the BITCHIEST tone possible. I kinda was just like “nah I’m not gonna talk about this right now” and laughed in her face. She kept going and going trying to get a reaction out of me. So I just got up and left the table then we went back to my place once my boyfriend finished eating. Everyone put her in her place and told her it was wrong. She gave me an half assed “I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable” apology but not a real apology. So I blocked her after that",AITA for unfollowing my boyfriends sister on instagram?,ESH
10w3v91,"Hello, everyone.Please,do not put this on other social media, tiktok and others.This is my first post, since I haven't been on reddit that long.I guess I just want some opinions from someone who is not involved in the situation that has happened. Around two months ago, I became a single mother (left really abusive relationship, made a decision to leave the man, because I couldn't risk my child's life and safety). Anyway, the reason I am writing this post is - am I the asshole for wanting to exchange some feet content for money? My 'friend' had to borrow my phone for a quick call. After the call ended, for some reason, she started snooping through my phone and found out I'm trying to sell these pictures. She started degrading me, telling me I should be ashamed, I shouldn't have kids, and I'm selling my body to the devil. She wouldn't listen to me. The only reason I'm doing it is to get some extra money so I can get everything for my baby. Since I'm raising her alone, i am providing her everything with one income. And everything has gotten more expensive, I can barely afford bills and groceries, money is really thight as it is, and in addition to that, my baby got really sick and now I have to pay for hospital stay and her prescribed medicine. My job doesn't pay that much, so i can't afford all of that, so I decided to try selling. Is it really that bad as she says? Or maybe someone can suggest some other ways to get more money? I would appreciate any advice, comment, and will try to answer any questions that anyone could haveThank you for reading.",AITA for trying to make more money to cover all my expenses?,NTA
10w1vxf,"For some context, I (16, M) have had a kind of a rough school year, but finally made it through after finishing due subjects in a December Intensification Period. (I have no idea how it is done in the US, but in Argentina we finish up school in November and have December and January left over as vacations. If you don't pass certain parts of a subject, it is due in December) My mother (54, F) and father (56, M) have also had a rough year as we've moved houses and its been pretty stressful. Its also been made kind of worse as I had a bad depression, because my mind kept going on and on, and that has probably impacted them. They have a month every year in January left over as vacations, and then they go back to work in February, as I go back to school.Here is where the issue lies; vacations. I have a severe issue with my ways of being. I get super lost on knowing if I'm acting right or wrong whenever I'm with my family, which makes me go down a path of even more doubt on what I am as a person. I hate the idea of possibly being ungrateful, which is why I've got this on my mind and seek help here on possible righting any possible wrongs. My parents love going on vacations. A month ago, my brother (24, M) and sister (20, F) went to San Luis (a place in Argentina), while my dad's pal kindly offered us a place to stay in Uruguay, so I went there with both my parents. We were there for a week, as were my siblings in San Luis. Here is where the issue begins. I told them I was not a big vacation guy, and that next year, if they didn't mind, if I could stay at home while the both of them took vacations wherever they'd like. I made sure to express my gratitude for the opportunity because I realised I could come off as ungrateful, and I really didn't want to. They told me it was unnatural for a kid my age to not want to go out and explore the world, but I explained to them I really just wanted to hang out with my mates back at home, especially since I relied heavily on them back when I was depressed.They told me I was being ungrateful. I told them that was not my intention, and that I really did not want to disrupt their schedule as I knew they had a really tough year and deserved a break in whatever fashion they'd like and agree on, but that I just want to take advantage of my month of vacations to my liking as well, and have a nice time with my pals. They put on a really grim facial expression, which made me feel kind of horrid. I know vacations are for family time, but I'm kind of distant from them right now and my brother always misses out on them regardless (as he goes with his friends. Last year he went to Córdoba with them for example).AITA for not taking advantage of the vacation here?Thanks!",AITA for rather spending a vacation with my friends rather than my parents?,NTA
10w3ecu,"Basically, growing up I always knew my mum was a bit difficult. Could never admit being wrong, loved to tell stories aboiut being rude to minimum wage workers, always had something to complain about, fell out with friends etc.​Once I started a long term relationship, got married, and had kids this got worse. She expected me to celebrate my birthday with her ('I'm celebrating x years of being a mother!'), turned up uninvited at our house and being annoyed if it didn't suit etc. A few times she phoned me to complain about my siblings/her partner  and eventually I had to say 'it's not about you'. When we got married, my ILs helped massively with the cost and she got weird, huffed when I said we weren't doing parent-child dances, refused to say what colour dress she was wearing, did a dramatic cry in the church, gave an uninvited speech at dinner. ​When my wife was in the delivery suite she kept ringing for updates (I had half a dozen missed calls), announced the birth the next day on Facebook and was furious when I asked her to take it down ('X person already knew, I just wanted to spread my good news'). She kignored our requests about how to treat our son (she had a cold sore and kept kissing him) and it became a massive mental and physical drain. ​Things culminated when she found out my MIL was going to be doing some childcare and she sent my wife an abusive message, claiming she had promised to do some (she works full time and that wouldn't have been practical but w/e). She refused to speak to us for ages, then sent a letter detailing how much I had hurt her (but no one could ever love me more than her and she would always be my mother and I would always be her son) and that she'd told her friends and they agreed with her. I found out from my brother she had complaining about the wedding how we had pushed her out of things. Obviously the desire to see my son overcame  and eventually she invited us to dinner and it was like nothing ever happened. ​Then we had another son. Just after he was born, he was rushed into hospital. I have a group chat with my siblings and had mentioned it to them, went home to get overnight stuff for my wife, then got a phonecall from my mum. She asked what I was doing and after I explained she said 'I heard about it from \[sister\]. Why don't you think about me and how hurtful this is for me?'. I said that my newborn was in hospital and if she wanted to ring me and play games and talk about herself she could fuck off, which wasn't very diplomatic but I was tired and stressed and that's how I felt. We haven't talked since - I passed her when out for a run a few days later, slowed down to talk, and she stared right through me before saying a very dramatic 'good morning' to the person behind me. I feel that this was a natural response to the situation but obviously having a parent not tal to you isn't a nice feeling so maybe I was in the wrong?",AITA for telling my mum to fuck off?,NTA
10w5k5p,"I (18M) and my best friend (18M) get along very well. We’ve been best friends for about two years now and always have fun together. However, we don’t see eye to eye on certain things, specifically relationships. I was best friends with a guy for most of my life. He was like my other half. Freshman year, he started dating his SO and slowly pulled away from me. I recently took him on a vacation with me (all expenses paid, mind you) and he did nothing but text his SO and complain about me. We rarely talk anymore. No hard feelings, but it hurts to lose your best friend to a high school relationship. I definitely think there is a place for dating in high school. I think it can teach you a lot of lessons. However, most high schoolers do not have the emotional maturity to handle a relationship, school, friends, and extracurriculars. Something takes a hit. Usually grades and friends. I am a very independent person and personally see a relationship as a distraction especially in this period of life (applying to college). So my best friend started dating this individual recently. Before this, everything was fine for the most part. He is a codependent person and needs to be around his SO all the time. Like every day. He consistently lies to me and my other friend about not being able to hang out because of appointments, sickness, etc but goes to hang out w his SO. I don’t care if he hangs out w this person instead of my friend and I. However, I despise when people lie. I haven’t confronted him about the fact that I know he is lying (he thinks he’s getting away w it)I have a bad habit of peering over onto his phone when he’s texting like a mad person. Yesterday I saw his SO insulted the way I looked saying I was “puntable” because I told him he has to show up for a leadership responsibility he volunteered for. I ATA for looking at his phone. But when you don’t look up for 10 minutes, curiosity gets the best of me. My other friend, he, and I were hanging out and talking yesterday. He shows us a pic of his SO and we said omg eww. We do this thing where we try to come up with funny formal ways to say mundane statements. So we were doing that and he almost starts crying and storms away. I guess it’s asshole-ish, but it’s just something we do as a group. He insults the girls I get with all the time. Today I found out he was informed by the SO to give me and my friend the silent treatment. AITA? Sorry for long post.",AITA for calling my friend’s SO ugly?,YTA
10w5cm6,"I’m 22f, my husband is 24m. We’ve been together for 5 years, married for 2. I’m an American citizen living in Sweden, he is Swedish. I moved here to be with him. Living together for 2 years.My girlfriends from back home are planning a trip to the Netherlands because they found a really good deal. I haven’t seen them since I moved here because I haven’t gone back. I thought about joining them and told my husband, it’s going to be one week. He got quite upset and said it’s ridiculous that him and I are going to weekend trips (he has work, I work from home and learn Swedish to go to university) and I’m going to be away for a whole week. He also said that had he told me he wants to go on a boys trip to the Netherlands, I wouldn’t have “allowed” it. At the end of the conversation he told me to “just go” and that he overreacted but that I’m settling the boundaries and if I can do whatever I want, so can he. Whatever that means. The next part is information that might be relevant to the situation: My husband has no friends. People who live in Sweden know how hard it is to acquire friends as an adult in a new city. (We live 5 hours away from his hometown). I don’t know if he misses having friends or not, he was always somewhat of a loner after moving away from his hometown. We didn’t really discuss this.Also, my husband and I’s relationship is great, I really have no complaints. He had a few fuck-ups in the past where he used drugs behind my back (PEDs and weed) despite knowing it’s a boundary for me, and where he lied about the cost of the car he bought. We’ve moved past it and I’ve forgiven him. Maybe he’s holding a grudge against me for not letting him use drugs and he sees me going on a trip as an equivalent. I have no idea. I do not drink, smoke, or do drugs so there’s no double standards. I’ve also never given him any reasons to not trust me.He also has a dog I’m severely allergic to (that’s a whole other thing lol) that really limits us. I’ve mentioned to him before how I feel this is our time to travel and enjoy life but having a dog just limits that. We can only take trips if we get his only living relative (whom he dislikes) to watch the dog months in advance because a doggy sitter is just too expensive. So this limits us to once or twice a year. We are trying save money but going on a trip with my girlfriends will not be too expensive, and I can take up more work to compensate for that.AITA? Is it really wrong to go on trips with friends once you’re married? Maybe there’s something else I’m missing?Tl;dr: moved to Sweden to be with my husband. My girlfriends from the US are planning a trip to the Netherlands for a week and I want to join them. My husband got upset and said that had it been him, I wouldn’t have “allowed” it. AITA?",AITA for wanting to go on a girls trip without my husband for a week?,NTA
10w4xts,"I 17(M) recently started college and my program is an engineering one and most students are men. I became friends with some people in the program most of which are men, but my closest friend currently is a girl (17F) as we just clicked during frosh and some group projects we did.I have not really been friends with many girls before as I am usually shy so idk if this would be inappropriate to ask. With her I no longer feel shy though as she feels familiar and we have many common interests.She is however very feminine in the way she dresses, comes to class with makeup, nails, sometimes heels etc, and while she mostly talks about the same things every one else does, sometimes she will talk about women's fashion and girl topics. It used to be awkward but I do not mind it anymore when it is between us.However when I bring her along when we hang with our primary friend circle (which are more my friends than hers), she always dresses up and sometimes will bring up girl topics during conversation, usually indirectly and somewhat related to what everyone else is talking about. Usually it is fashion, but once she brought up periods. This embarrasses me somewhat, and I feel like the others might judge me for being friends with her.I was thinking of gently asking her to not bring up those topics when with our other friends, which would not be such a big issue as we mostly talk about school and nerdy topics anyway most of the time. I considered also asking her to not overdress but I feel like that might come off rude and hurt her feelings so I probably will not do that.So WIBTA for asking her to avoid girly topics? She has been a great friend to have in college so I do not want to risk making her feel bad in any way, but we talk freely about things.EDIT: Got it, I will not tell her that which was what I assumed was more likely. I do not mind talking about these things with her, I was just concerned the other friends might more than anything. She is my closer friend and the others are mostly people we do activities with.",WIBTA for telling my friend to avoid girl topics and maybe dress differently when she hangs with our mostly male friend group,YWBTA
10vyhlg,"I'm M19, moving out for the first time. I was pulled out of school in 5th grade to assist my disabled mother who rather than appreciated me, would scream every day, demand I do all of the house work, verbally abused me, took all of my things away and heavily monitored me. I was always told it was my fault if things were wrong or id be punished as every day it was a new one (less sleep time, not being allowed outdoors), and that I'm a liar, and that I am a fat pussy. As I grew older she would calm down over time more. Especially when I turned 16 and started working immediately. Fast forward to now, I can tell she still wants a bond of some sort.. though be it hard for me to understand why, its a mix of me asking myself ""can she manage without me around?"" ""What if this spirals her into a huge depression?"" I'd feel responsible. She has given very little to support me emotionally as I am trying to move, infact shes just told me the high that I feel will go away quickly shortly after I had a panick attack due to stress of work (19 day streaks, 2 days off), Financials, and packing my things. Every day now she always says something along the lines of ""I wish you'd stay home"" ""You shouldn't move"" ""im going to miss you so much I love you and I hardly see you as it is"" or she will guilt me by saying ""You're never going to visit me"" ""I'm never going to see you again, I just get in your way"" I feel like my mental train has derailed, I feel obligated to stay in touch but it hurts sometimes to even hear her voice, or hear her say my name as it reminds me of everything that happened for years.. so reddit, AITA for not wanting or having a stronger bond with her?",AITA for not having/wanting a stronger bond with my mother?,NTA
10vyar2,"To give a little background a little over a year ago my family moved from New York to Florida to support me because I was having a baby. Considering the fact that the prices in Florida are higher than where we lived in New York my parents and I signed a lease together temporarily so that we would all be able to save some money until they can fully get established and I could fully get used to being a single parent.After about four months of them moving down I ended up helping my stepdad find a pretty decent job working at a warehouse as a manager. Now upon taking this job he was fully aware that at the time he had not yet purchased a car so his mode of transportation would be Uber, taxis, or a bus. But he took it anyway and was taking the bus to and from work with the intentions of saving to get his own car or using his tax refund to get one.So fast forward a few weeks later I ended up purchasing my own car and here and there he would ask me for a ride to work which was cool if I wasn’t doing anything I would just drop him off and usually he would take the bus home like normal.Then for some odd reason he ended up getting his schedule changed to where he has to be to work at 5 o’clock in the morning which I don’t understand why because it doesn’t correlate with the bus schedule for him to be able to get to work every day. So one morning he wakes me up out my sleep at four something in the morning and asked me for a ride and I have not yet known his schedule has changed I thought this was just a one time thing so I gave him a ride to work.Now it’s been about five months and this man wakes me up out my sleep every single day five days a week and ask for a ride to work at about 4:20 in the morning.Am I wrong for not wanting to give him a ride to work anymore? The way I see it considering the amount of money he makes at work and the fact that he got his taxes he’s had more than enough time and opportunity to purchase him a car to support his family on multiple occasions and he’s just choosing not to.I’m 21 years old and even though I’m a closing manager at my own job and usually don’t get home until like 1112 at night and still have to get myself as well as my 10 month old ready for bed, I’m still relied upon every single day to take this man to work. Not to mention on top of that being treated like the full-time Uber driver by my family . I can’t even leave during the week with my kid and just take a day trip or so because someone gets mad I’m not around to give rides or let them use my car. I’m always getting told I’m selfish when I’m leaving because they have XY and Z to do and I never checked in with nobody before I just decided to take my kid and leave.",AITA for not giving dad a ride to work?,NTA
10w1v94,"My (F19) bf (M24) has done a lot of shitty downright bad things in the past, I'm not here to discuss that or to hear anything about that I should've left him that time but just about specific small things like this that I just don't understand.So about 6 months ago me and him had broken up for about 1 month and in that time he met a girl at a rave who was obviously very into him (with a very obvious Asian fetish, could see it from a mile away) they texted a bunch during that time and even tho him and I were still in contact he liked the attention and felt pity for her so he led her on for while, when i found out about this I gave him an ultimatum to block her and her friends involved and be done with it so we can leave it behind us. He did and I thought that was the end of it and I could just heal (spoiler alert, it wasn't)Like 3 months later he decided he felt so bad about the whole thing that he decided to unblock her while I was sleeping next to him, texting her and apologizing for so apruptly cutting off contact, throwing me under the bus telling her that I forced him to do that and that he didn't want it to be that way. I found out about this pretty quickly and he got mad at me not understanding why I was hurt and angry with him for going behind my back once again. This was supposedly the final end of it tho as he was never going to talk to her again (also I should mention he apologized to multiple people he has hurt in the past point is, most of them didn't want anything to do with him anymore and this girl straight up didn't deserve an apology for nothing I'll be honest)If this is true and they haven't talked since i don't know. But after we reconciled I tried to just move on and forget about it though of course it just stung badly.Now we get to today, all is well and it's been a month since the last thing happened and I'm just playing a game when he randomly goes ""hey have you ever thought about dying your hair X?"" I froze, making a connection with what happened in the past, tho it didn't seem like he was getting that, I say ""no? Why?"" he acts like nothing is wrong ""oh no reason, just like a random thought"" then, there's silence for a few seconds and he goes ""don't worry babe I'm not looking at pics of x colored haired girls infront of me, it was just one of those random thoughts of what cookie colour you could do next"" so I just tried to play it off ""yeah no I don't know never thought about it but I don't really want to"" and he just ended it saying OK.Now I'm still fumingI can't see reason as to why he couldn't turn his brain on and think about why that comment might be Hella out of pocket. At the same time I'm wondering if I'm just overly sensitive and he wasn't AT ALL thinking of her when suggesting that. I feel like shit and I cannot physically bring up the past again not only cause I don't want to argue about it but also because it just hurts to talk about. I just want to stop being angry and distrustful and stop feeling like shit, AITA?",AITA for being Insulted by my bf suggesting I dye my hair like the girl he led on?,ESH
10vzz6k,"I live in a house with three roommates. Two of my roommates and myself like to smoke weed (it's legal). The other roommate, 'Jay', is not a smoker. Things started off fine, until Jay realized that the smell of weed makes them nauseous. No problem I thought, I made sure to always leave the window open after to air things out, light candles, and if there's anything Jay needs after we start smoking I bring it to their room so they don't have to leave it and smell anything. We only ever smoke at night and Jay likes to spend time alone in their room at this time so it seemed like a good situation. Everytime before we smoke I text Jay to let them know and so they can get stuff before we start smoking if they want. I always try to make it as clear as I can that they have the option to say no or ask us to wait or go outside, but they have never seemed to have too big of an issue with us smoking in the house, barring a couple instances of miscommunication and random comments. Until yesterday night when this situation happened. When I asked if it was ok if we smoked Jay asked to make dinner first and I told them to take their time as we hadn't even started getting it ready. Jay made some food and seemed very upset when going back upstairs, walking louder than usual and slamming their door. I asked if they were ok and they said some very mean things that I don't want to get into. Jay and I were close friends before this and it caught me off guard as it seemingly came out of nowhere. A few hours later me and Jay talked about how the smell has been affecting them far more than they have been saying, and that to them the entire house reeks constantly and how that makes living in this house awful. I know I am noseblind, but we've had many other people over, and not one person has noticed the smell even when asked. I apologized for not realizing how bad it was for Jay, and again told them that I was more than willing to smoke outside if it was this bad. They told me they were mad at me and that I'm an awful person for making them live in these conditions. I really do feel awful about it, and plan on deep cleaning the house as soon as I can to try to help with the smell. EDIT: (adding info I think is important) When Jay first moved in they only said they don't like the smell, and later said it made them nauseous when they realized. I offered both times they brought this up (as well as multiple other times) to smoke outside and they said it was fine to smoke inside because it didn't smell upstairs (where their bedroom and bathroom is). They had never said anything about the smell bothering them in the house until last night. I do not think Jay is an AH, I just want to know if I am. TDLR roommate who can't stand the smell of weed hates me for smoking in the house when I didn't know how bad it was for them. AITA?",AITA for smoking in my house,YTA
10w3dd6,"I'm sorry, I really tried but I I couldn't fit in the word limit, so the end of the story will be in the comments.I (18yoNB) have a groupe of friends since highschool. They are really precious to me and we form a chosen family since we kind of all have family issues.The year before this story, we all went at our friends vacation house during the holidays. It was really awesome and we had one the best 2 weeks of our life. Except for one part : one of my friend, Bellybutton fought a lot with their girlfriend. She had a lot of personal issues and Bellybutton was trying to be supportive but always ended up being yelled at. It was really toxic.After a while, they broke up and things were actually worse. They were both terribly mean to each other and we we're doing everything we could to keep them appart.As a result, for this year summer we didn't wanted both under the same roof. So, we decided to have one of them with us for a week, and the other one for the other week ! The ex-girlfriend agreed but Bellybutton didn't. They were angry to miss a part of the holidays because of their ex and thought that it was unfair because they already suffered enough during this relationship. And I get that, and was really sorry for them. But my friends worked really hard to just find a solution to this situation. Like really, two of them called all of us individually to ask everyone opinion and advice.So anyway, it was really long and Bellybutton was still really upset but we all agreed to split the vacation in two for them.Most of us arrived with cars, but we had to pick up Bellybutton at the train station. Only problem : they didn't show up. At first we were all panicked that something had happened, but they finally told us that they never planned on coming to the vacacion house. They even planned on going on some music concerts instead. I was already mad at them for wasting our time and energy. Bellybutton said that they thought they told about about not coming, but none of us have heard of that. Still now, we don't now if it's a lie of just genius mistake.",AITA for refusing to communicate with someone who didn't hurt me,NTA
10w3d4a,"I (f17) live with my grandparents because of school. My mother has an injury, because of that she does not have a job right now and can't work. My step-dad is the one withe the main income right now. My biological dad sends my mother child support every month. I get !00$ of that childsupport as pocket money. My parents and grandparent don't allow me to work so i can focus on school, so that pocketmoney is my only income right now.Even before my mother got sick she would ask me for some money. It'd take some time befor she would pay me back. I forget things really easily so i amde a list on my phone. I thought  she knew about the list, because i've told her about it before. A week ago she noticed the list, becuse my grandma and I were tlaking about it ( sche wantet to borrow 20$ form me and i put her in the list and showed ti to her). In the evening  my mother said that she was hurt that i showed my grandma the list. I didn't mean to hurt her so i apollegized. She brought the list up the next day again and said how hurt she was becaus of it. I was confused but apollegized again. Yesterday she send me a photo of some arts and crafts things wich were about 6.20$. She wrot in her text that if i don't  cross 8$ form the list that she would bring it back. She didn't ask me to cross it, she treatened me to bring the thing back if i don't do it. I just crossed it and said nothing about it.My grandma is a very honest person and told me today that my mother and step-dad think that i am selfish to have this list. I don't know what to think about that. I nerer asked for the money or pressured her in any other way. I know that they don't have the money to pay me back right now.So, reddit, am i the badguy for having a list of my parents depts with me?​I am very sorry for spelling mistakes and bad gramma, english isn't my first language.",AITA for having a list?,NTA
10w30e1,"So my girlfriend and I broke up last year and she moved out. I needed to get a roommate quick , and found one online after bit of searching. He paid first and security, and was signed onto the lease for September, with rent due the first of every month.Late September, he decided he's going back to school (and getting financial aid from FAFSA). He also told me he's not getting a lot of hours at his job. I offer some suggestions.Mid October hits, and I got a knock on my door. He asked me if I can pay the full rent in November, saying his FAFSA won't come in until mid November. I was stunned by the request and said no. I told him to let the apartment complex know, and also let them know myself.Mid November hits, his FAFSA comes, and he paid rent late. He then comes home with a bunch of computer components to build himself a new gaming computer. Interesting timing, but you know what? As long as he pays rent on time, it's not my business.Late November, I got very sick, then him. December came, rent paid on time.Mid January, I got a call from the office that we still have half the rent due. So I message himd and he told me he was fired back when he got sick, tells me that he has a new job, but is still hurting for hours. The office gives me contact info for renters assistance for him. I give it to him, he says they're out of money. He says he's paid on time for a while (ahem) and asks if it's a problem. I texted him: ""I don't know. I need you to figure this out though. This affects me too, and honestly is adding a lot of unnecessary stress that I got a roommate for specifically to avoid.""Next thing I know, rent is paid.Yesterday, I saw an email saying that half the rent is not paid for February, AND if it's not paid by the 19th, they'll start the eviction process. I immediately knocked on his bedroom door and asked him if he got the email. He said yes.I said, ""You need to get your shit together or get the fuck out.""He said to me that he's paid every month, and it's my fault for getting him sick. Note that he asked me to cover rent once prior to him ever getting sick. So I corrected him by saying he's late half the time. I told him he's unreliable and that diminishes my trust in him greatly. I also asked what happened to the FAFSA money that he had; did he use it to buy his expensive gaming pc (which typically I would say is not my business, but now it's affecting me)? He says his girlfriend got it for him. He kept saying, ""It's fine,"" To which I say, ""I'm telling you it's not fine, and the fact that you keep saying it is scares me more.""I told him a last time: ""He needs to get his shit together and pay on time, or I need to find someone who can.""I'm essentially threatening his home, which I hate doing. But I also feel like he's doing the same now to me. I could hear him in the other room cursing me out, but I'm just at my wit's end. He's going to get me evicted over this. So. AITA for flipping out at him?",AITA for Flipping Out at My Roommate?,NTA
10w2rjp," I celebrated a milestone birthday last night with my GF, my mom and stepdad and my grandma on my mom's side. We went out to a very nice dinner, which my grandmother paid for. I never like celebrating out in public because I hate when restaurants sing to you. It doesn't matter which restaurant, whatever ""happy happy birthday"" song they use, I start to panic, tear up and get physically sick.My parents and girlfriend are understanding, though my parents tease (like saying they made sure to call ahead of time to prepare a big routine or start to tell the waiter we're celebrating a big occasion then switch at the last minute, but they would *never* go through with it) When I was seven, my parents threw me a surprise party for our first time as a family together and I had my first panic attack, that’s the last time they ever sprung it on me. For a couple years after turning 21, I completely avoided all restaurants from mid January to mid March because I didn't want to run the risk again.My grandma is a lot less understanding. She doesn't see it as a big deal and she thinks a birthday is an occasion to celebrate as much as possible. Plus, free dessert. What's not to love, right? She'd never understood, not even when I tried to explain, and chalked it up to a difference in how we grew up and how we were celebrated or our accomplishments acknowledged.TLDR she told the waiter, staff came out and sang to me, I excused myself to the bathroom as soon as it was over. It took me around 20 minutes to calm down, by which time the ice cream had melted, the check had come, and mom and grandma were ticked off. Grandma said I'll regret acting like this and missing out on celebrations when I'm older, Mom said it was immature to ""storm off” What I also agree is selfish of me is that I'm also upset Grandma had already given me tickets to see a play with her, but she placed them back into her pocket book. I asked my step dad and he sighed and told me that I should have managed my emotions better in the moment. Mom and dad both suggest I should apologize to soothe hurt feelings.",AITA for hiding in the bathroom after the restaurant sang happy birthday to me?,NTA
10w2g2f,"I (22) live with two roommates, M (21), and S (21). When we moved in, we all agreed to pick up after ourselves. We all agreed that our own messes are our own problems, and as such are our responsibility to take care of. S and I tend to stay in our rooms more than M does, so it's not hard for either of us to keep our messes in the shared areas minimal.   Generally speaking, this isn't an issue. But lately, M has been *very messy.* They're a plant person, and we have a lot around the house. We live in a colder area, so they've been keeping them in the house. I don't really have an issue with this. However, they do a lot of their potting indoors, which leads to a fair amount of dirt getting in the carpet, and typically staying in the carpet. On top of this, they tend to leave messes around the house constantly which stay there for weeks, stuff like clothes lying around, unopened mail thrown on the floor, old food in the living room, dirty dishes from cooking, they even once left a vibrator next to the couch (which I don't think I should have to explain why I think that's vile). When S and I ask them to pick up after themselves, the response we always get is ""I'm depressed and I can't, you guys have to help me.""  I typically have no issue helping picking up if either of them need it. However, it's been like this since we've all moved in together (it's been about 8 months), and quite frankly I'm a little tired of M constantly asking us for help in cleaning up their massive messes. On top of this, both S and I deal with depression ourselves, and have trouble keeping our rooms clean because of it. We understand what it's like to have depression and be unable or unmotivated to clean. But both of us still keep the shared areas clear of our own messes, and we have for the entirety of our lease. M is the only one with this issue. It'd be a different thing if M's room was dirty as well, but they almost always keep it spotless.   To me, the fact that they keep their room spotless but can't clean up in the common area just shows a lack of respect towards S and I, especially when we always manage to keep our messes to a minimum in the shared areas. Not to mention when M has messes out for weeks on end, S and I very rarely give them grief over it unless it gets to a point where it's unacceptable, but if we have messes last more than a day we get yelled at and beraded by M, who tends to claim that we never help out with the cleaning despite the fact that we always clean up after ourselves. We also do the dishes and take the trash out, and I clean the catboxes (we have two, one of which is M's cat's), where M has no other major chores beyond picking up after themself. The berading doesn't end at us either, we've both overheard M shit-talking and complaining about us to their other friends on the phone over this matter, one of which are mutual friends with S. AITA for being tired of M not cleaning up after themselves, and for putting the onus on S and I to take care of them?",AITA for not helping my roommate clean up the house?,NTA
10w5393,"Hi! For context, I’m 31/F. I have a pretty decent salary but I am single and do pay rent and all my bills on my own. My friend (she’s married and splits bills with her husband. He also makes over $200k just himself) and I are planning a trip to Europe for 2 weeks. We are driving throughout and staying in 4 different places. We splurged on the hotel for one location. I think it came out to $600 per night (split between us = $300 each per night for 3 nights so $900 per person total). I agreed on splurging for this one because it was a really nice resort and had some things included. I got her to agree on spending $200 per night ($100 each per night) for the other 2 hotels, but for the final hotel she wants to stay in one that totals almost $1500 for 3 nights. There is nothing too special about this hotel honestly. I’ve seen ones for half the cost that were just as nice. It has a circle shaped bed which I think she wants for pictures, but other than that it’s nothing too crazy. I’m not trying to be cheap and I could ultimately afford it, but I just feel it’s a little …. Silly? Especially since we are spending so much on the trip overall. I understand she has a larger budget than me but I feel like I’m being pretty reasonable here. She has complained in the past that she doesn’t like to travel with people who have tight budget constraints (I don’t feel that I do) but I just can’t help but feel like it’s sometimes a bit wasteful? PS: it’s just her and I going on this trip, her husband isn’t coming! Just to be clear. AITA for not wanting to waste money on an astronomically priced hotel room?",AITA: For not wanting to spend $500/night on a hotel?,NTA
10w1ipv,"hi that random person that's new to Reddit againfyi this was heavily condensed bc the argument went on for about 2 hours(sry for the typos)its been barley 48 hours and I've managed to make my parents mad again :)this also may seems really childish but idc anymoreto sum it up my parents asked me to shower, I didn't comply and sent indirect responses then some very concerning things happened that I'm not allowed to mention heremy mum and dad basically the entire time were just pointing at me, swearing at me in chinese and claimed that my brain was full of dogpoo as well as saying that i have a mental illness ( in Chinese of course)for the first half of the argument I tried not shouting and keeping calm, occasionally having tears come out even though I wanted to fudging bawl my eyes outthen we try to work something out and atone and she disagrees with everything I'm saying claiming that I am speaking a bunch of legal nonsense ""shit"" and that idgaf about them and that I'm getting entertainment out of thiseither way i finally lose it and start shouting as well and struggle to breathe bc asthma and also hyperventilation and we keep arguing for another 15-25 minutesthen my mum snaps or something like a volcano I'm not even lying she was normal just then and then she starts getting on her knees putting her head on the floor saying that I'm the ""queen and king of the house"" then she says she'll never talk to me again, never care for me again that she doesn't love me that she never wants to see me againi feel really really bad and idk if i should just try to atone and apologise for everything cuz I felt like I was unreasonable and she was like any other parent this morningaitaedit: my mum also pulled out her phone and started recording me saying how hysterical I looked even tho I told her to stopshe also started comparing me to my 9 yo sister saying that even she doesn't act like that even tho she claims she never compares me to anybodyoh and also b4 I forget after she started shouting at me early into the argument she asked me what time it was and I said it was ""only 10pm"" then the concerning thing that I'm not allowed to mention here happenedI also might add more stuff at the bottom here if I rmbr",AITA for not listening to my parents,INFO
10w3zox,"I (18f) have been dating this guy (23m) for about 5 months. We are about to celebrate our first Valentine's day together.In all my relationships I have (which is about 2), I haven't been able to celebrate Valentine's Day. The relationship didn't last long enough to reach February. Even without romantic relationships, my family never celebrates Valentine's day. My parents would get something for each other and my siblings, but never me (even if I got them something). The same for my friends.Now, in a week or so, my bf and I are going to celebrate Valentine's day. I was already hesitant because I haven't had good experiences with the holiday, but I understood that he wanted to celebrate it so we decided to get gifts for each other.He then mentioned how he wanted to go out for dinner together to celebrate. I said that was fine as long as I can pay for my part. He reluctantly agreed (I don't like it when people pay for things for me, it makes me feel guilty).Well, last night, we were at his house and he mentioned dinner again. He said how we were going to a hibachi restaurant and we would be going out with his parents. In the moment, I agreed to it, but now I'm having second thoughts.I like his parents but I know that if we go with them, then either his dad or he will pay for the dinner. Also, his parents and him tease each other a lot and it makes me uncomfortable.I don't want to make anyone upset and come off as this holiday is solely about me. So, WIBTA?",WIBTA if I told my bf that I don't want to have dinner with his parents on Valentine's Day?,NTA
10w3ly5,"I (19f) recently met my new neighbours, a group of early 20-something guys. All nice people. The issue is with Robert (21m). His room shares a wall with mine and I can hear everything. Every floor creak, every time he turns a plug on and every time he jerks off.I don't want to hear it. I feel like a total creep. He's not too loud but that doesn't matter, I can hear him. I want to tell him but I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable or like I was perving on him. I asked my housemate for advice and she said she'd rather not know if she was Robert and that it would be a major mind fuck so I shouldn't tell him. I, on the other hand, would rather know. I said I was going to tell him but she stopped me and said it would be an asshole thing to do.WIBTA if I told him?EDIT: we don't live in an apartment complex. We live in separate houses that are semi-detached.",WIBTA if I let my neighbour know that I can hear EVERYTHING from his bedroom?,YWBTA
10w3drf,"I'm 19F, my friend is 19M. He always talk to me how he wish that he has a friend with the same gender. His last friendship failed, in other words now he is stuck with me. I admit that I have attachment issue, but I'm pretty sure that this is not jealousy since I don't feel like I have any personal feelings toward him. But I get annoyed that he keep saying that he want to befriend a certain someone since they got so many similarity SEVERAL TIMES. I don't want to self claim or anything but I always treat him the best as I can. Yes I make mistake a lot but this person he want to befriend frequently treats him badly and I don't see anything significant that he does for my friend. It hurts me that he keep on thinking that way. Maybe I just hope that my presence as a friend is enough. I'm trying to be neutral whenever he talks about it but my expression can't lie. He is really good at reading people so he definitely knows what I feel. I dont do anything but I guess it comes to the point that I dislike the people he want to befriend. And I'm showing it by making the situation awkward and potentially putting pressure on my friend. I want to stop clinging so badly to him but it's not easy since I always prefer having a close friendship with 1 person only so trying to connect with others is not really a choice for me.  Deeply conflicted about this.",AITA for getting mad that my friends keep on talking about how he want to befriend others,YTA
10w00rr,"Hi all, My (25F) partner (25m) and I have been together for three years. As long as it has been appropriate to do so, we have done joint gifts. With this, we have always had this unspoken rule where all presents for my family are purchased by me and all those for his family are purchased by him. This has worked well for us. He hasn’t had the greatest relationship with his family and has always tried to distance himself from them. They were pretty toxic and treated him terribly growing up. Recently, they’ve all been working hard on their relationships and I am encouraging of that so long as he is safe and happy. But because of the troubled relationship, I’m not really close to any of his family.It’s his sisters birthday coming up and we have been invited to his family home for dinner. I asked what we would be bringing his sister and he said “I thought we could go halves in a voucher”. I said “who is we?” to make sure he meant us before questioning further and he said us. I just asked why since that’s not normally how we would do things and he said “because it’s from both of us” I said I understand it’s from both of us but that’s just not how we normally do things and out of curiosity asked why we would do it this way now and he just kept saying he thought he would throw it out there and if it was a problem to just not worry about it. I explained that I just thought it was a backwards step halving our money and that though it’s not tit for tat, I thought he would spend the money given it’s his sister like I would on my own sibling. He was getting frustrated (maybe a bit embarrassed at me questioning his suggestion) and so we just stopped talking about it but I’m really confused and thinking I may have been sensitive about a genuine request? Maybe I read into it too much. I think as well, I am pregnant with our first child so the insinuation of halving money sent me into a panic and I began to catastrophise internally over whether he was asking because he couldn’t afford it himself or if this was a new thing he was starting at maybe a bad time to start it. I’m not sure. AITA?",AITA for being confused about contributing to my sister-in-laws birthday gift?,NTA
10w2c0f,"The whole dropping off the baby in their car seat and setting up a camera to capture it or worse, recording it as they drive away leaving relatives with little to no choice in regards to babysitting.I thought it was an asshole move and my coworker took offense to me saying so.So we’re on break in the break room and she started to share she did this for tik tok after her sister said she couldn’t babysit. She thought it was funny and I said, I think that’s messed up. She tried saying she didn’t actually leave her baby there, she just wanted to give her sister a scare.Idk, I pretty much blocked out her explanations and continued browsing on my phone.But I guess she was mad at me and brought it up to another coworker that in turn, told me.AITA for calling my coworker out?","AITA for calling out what I consider, cringe behavior?",NTA
10w271g,"Throwaway account for reasons. I apologize for any improper formatting. So my(M) birthday was about a month ago and I wasn’t really planning on doing anything. My best friend’s(F) cousin(M) had told me he’d bought me something as a gift and that he had given it to my friend to give to me since he will be moving out of state and would be gone before then. I knew my friend would be a little late giving it to me and I wasn’t really bothered by that and would be glad to wait, any gift at all is enough for me. Though I didn’t really think it’d take a month+. My friend keeps teasing me about what it is (I still haven’t even been told what it is.) or how she keeps forgetting or simply not caring enough to bring it with her when we meet. She’s gone as far as to make cheap excuses like “I’ve chosen to give it to you on your month anniversary.”. I’ve slowly become more irritated with her continued carelessness and inconsideration. I’ve been reminding her more and more to do something about the gift and even offered to just go to her house to pick it up so she wouldn’t have to worry about remembering to bring it. My actions have been responded to with comments like, “Stop whining.”, “Why are you complaining?”, “Complaining won’t get you anything any faster.”, and “You’ll get it when I give it to you.”. It hasn’t just been my friend who’s said these things specifically either. All of the other friends in our group have been greeting me with comments like “I don’t want to hear you whine about your gift today.”. I can’t help but feel like I’m making a big deal out of something I shouldn’t. I want to avoid making a big deal out of this situation but I feel like I’m being taken advantage of within our group of friends now. It’s not about the gift at this point to me, but more about the way I’m being treated by everyone. I think my frustrations are deeper than just a birthday gift.Reddit, AITA in this situation?[EDIT: attempted formatting fixes]",AITA for wanting my birthday gift?,NTA
10vxt7j,"I (F18) was in a relationship with a male who I don’t want to specify at all, a while ago. maybe about half a year ago. it’s been on my mind for a while and it hasn’t really been a huge drama but I am non binary and have gone by a preferred name for quite a few years now. when he met, due to circumstances he met me as my dead name so that’s how he knew me. when we began talking i stated i had a preferred name and after that he called me by it mixed with my dead name. what made me was to end it all with him was when we had a sleepover with my female best friend and her fiancé. she had corrected him when he referred to me as my dead name and it was clear i was a little uncomfortable due to him referring to me as that whenever everyone else called me by my preferred name. his exact words were ‘nah, i prefer (dead name) so i’ll keep using that.’ that wasn’t the entire reason why i ended things but it was one of them. recently he had stated he had a preferred name rather than his dead name but during this he still used my dead name to refer to me. this is where i feel like an asshole, i had used his and stated that i preferred his dead name though he cracked it at me and said it was mean and disrespectful. i just simply said that i’ll use his preferred name when he uses mine. our friends have said it’s only fair and are on my side but i still feel like an ass for saying that so AITA?edit : in no way am i transphobic and would never dead name someone who came out to me but seeing he isn’t transgender or non binary and only told me to call him by that name. he just changed it on discord and everyone asked questions and he just said it was a nickname yet still yelled at me and said i was disrespectful. it lead to him guilt tripping me into saying sorry which i did but he still won’t :( i do also want to say it was a forced relationship and i do feel bad for what i said which i deserveanother edit : i read some comments and didn’t want to say this but it was a forced relationship and he made me and my friend uncomfortable a lot. he now prefers his deadname instead of what he wanted only me to call him. he never even told his best friend to call him what he wanted to be called. i still didn’t have a valid response but wanted some more insight to be put out, again he is not transgender or non binary or in the community like myself. he did it to get at me yet i still feel like an asshole",AITA for not using my ex’s preferred name?,NTA
10w63la,"I 20f sit next to a guy in my research seminar class. Im sure he is a nice dude but there is one problem. He always comes in smelling like curry. We are packed together in a small windowless room for 3 hours and there is no way I can move my seat since there are no empty ones. I was thinking that if I came in before he did, I can spray his chair and his portion of the table with a bit of perfume to try and wash out the curry smell? Would I be a jerk for doing this?",WIBTA if I sprayed the desk next to me with perfume?,NTA
10w5ydi,I 25(F) have a friend(26M) whom I met via a game. We started playing together a lot and he lives in the same city as I do. He once asked me out and I politely declined and asked him if we can still continue to be gaming buddies and I agreed. He once made an inappropriate butt joke and i told him that I didnt like such jokes and said he would stop. Yesterday he made another inappropriate joke and I told him if he keeps making me uncomfortable like this I would stop playing with him altogether . He called me an AH for not being able to take a joke.,AITA for asking my gaming friend to not make inappropriate comments/jokes?,NTA
10vyjgm,"I (22f) had some severe family problems regarding my wedding..and it was to the point that even my own father didnt attend my wedding. Now my friend (21f) of 8 years has always been very unsupportive. She has shown WAY too many toxic signs which included her openly cursing me just because i would have a diff opinion to hers... Anyways i never broke the friendship bc i'm naturally a soft sensitive person and so my heart wouldn't let that happen.Okay so now when my wedding date got near, i told her that there are many complications going on now in the family so idk how the marriage ceremony would go like. Upon this, she didnt care asking what that problem is or etc. Now i started getting really busy near my wedding date yk buying stuff....and i really needed a friends help.. but she didnt text me once even to ask how i'm doing etc. Now, when i got married, i sent her a picture of me and my man. And i thought she'd congratulate me and all..but she completely aired me. I started spam messaging her on another platform that why is she ignoring me..but to that she replied ""um no im not ignoring you"".I thought maybe she got mad seeing my wedding pic..so i assured her and messaged her that due to some serious issues i couldn't call any of my friend so i'm really sorry. I even called her after that but she ghosted me completely. Its been 2 months to this and she still hasn't contacted me back although she's active every single day. So am i the bad person for still not making contact and trying to get her back??","AITA (22F) for not inviting my friend (21F) of 8 years to my wedding, due to some family problems",NTA
10w5wns,"So i (f24) and one of my best friends (we’ll call him J, hes 26) have been friends for about 8 years now. He recently had his gf (let’s can her A, shes 23) move in with him. I’ve met her a few times and we got along great. We first met on one of his birthdays, im usually the only girl there if his sister is out so it was nice to finally have another girl there. We had a really nice time and we had made plans for me to join them on that upcoming new years (2021-2022) At new years it was us three and another one of J’s friends R. A and i went out to get some snacks and drinks and it was just a really nice night. So fast forward to two weeks ago. I hadn’t seen J for at least a month because we’ve both been rather busy. I asked him if he’d want to watch a movie and hang out at his place, note A had moved in at this point, he said sure but ill ask A if shes okay with it. Which is fine ofcourse but she said she didn’t want me there. J then convinced her that it was fine and in the ens she turned around. Well, i went over and the vibe was just off. J wasn’t his usual annoying self. His jokes where very tame and not the normal stupid but funny stuff. We had dinner with the three of us and she didn’t really talk to me at any point only if i said something directly to her and then it still be a really short answer. After diner J and I tidied up in the kitchen and A went to sit down on the sofa. When J went to sit down and i sat down next to him she gave me a really weird look like i was crossing a line. I wasn’t cuddled up with J or anything i was just sitting next to him. Well after the movie i said bye and she gave me an awkward bye wave and J walked me down with his dog and i got in my car and i asked is anything was up with A and he said it was nothing. Since then hes asked to hang out again at his place and i told him ad rather hang at mine and he said that was fine but A didn’t want him going to my place alone. For context: In the last 8 years i have never had any type of sexual tension with this guy and hes feels more like a brother to me than my actual brother does lol. Thinking about even kissing him is really weird and kinda yuck to me So am i the butthole for not wanting to go over to their place and feel uncomfortable the whole time?",AITA for not wanting to hang out at my best friends house?,NTA
10w5ptw,"We are roomate and classmate. We have just met for around 4 months but I know she is a great friend. She helped me a lot and we're pretty close. Recently there is an election in our class to choose the monitor. The final result will be decided by teacher, however, we will elect 5 candidates for that. At first there were 6 person have the same number of votes, include me and she. Then we voted one more time between 6 person. And I was excluded. I know I deserved this, I'm not really as enthusiastic nor active in class as them. But then she told me to replace her. She said I studied better than her, and she was also not that active. That becoming the monitor wasn't so important to her. My GPA and her differ just a bit, and she's even more active than me. There're many benefits of being the class monitor. Also I'm not sure 100% I will have consent of our teacher. But I want to take that chance, too. Because of the benefits. But am I deserved this? AITA if I agree with her?",AITA for taking my closed friend's chance?,NTA
10w5pao,"This is gonna need a lot of context.My (28M) friend at the office (we’ll call her Katie 24F) have been friends about 2 years. There was a sexual relationship off and on. Anyways, we’re (or were) just friends now. We talk just about every day. A few days ago we got into an argument over text, that stemmed from me saying something she didn’t like. I didn’t think it was bad, but I swallowed my pride and apologized (multiple times). She didn’t talk to me much the last few days, she did randomly message me but was just very vague. Earlier tonight, over text I had tried asking how she is doing and was wanting less vague responses. She said “Well I tried telling you things but that lead to you being a jerk so”. I replied that I have apologized and tried really hard to make it up to you. She didn’t respond, which I figured was due to her about to leave for work. When she got there, I had just said something like “You’re obviously still irritated with me, I’m sorry..” she cut me off, saying that I was “dragging this out”. I said “You made a comment about me being a jerk”. She pretty much flipped out at that point, loudly told me to leave to my area. I did. I then messaged her with a direct reply bubble of her message saying I was a jerk. I said “I am not wanting to drag it on. You made this comment so.. How am I the one dragging it on? I would’ve literally never brought it up again. All I was trying to say.”She just removed me after that. Which for me is extremely hurtful and she knows that. I went back over to where she was, and said “really? You removed me??” She got more mad, saying “Yeah because I’m not wanting to talk”. I asked if she was not wanting to be friends anymore, and she said “we’re at work, learn how to separate your personal life”. It was close to shouting, at least the loudest I’ve ever heard her speak.Some additional context… Katie has sent me NSFW things *while* at work, as well as making gestures/innuendos. Not really relevant to this but shows she’s perfectly willing of doing and saying whatever she wants while at work but its one sided.She also has BPD.In my mind, it was a huge overreaction. The entire thing. However I know she doesn’t see it as one, so I typically keep those opinions to myself. Or maybe I’m just out of line and I am the AH.",AITA for confronting my friend at work?,YTA
10w5oly,"So first off, I’ve had my current puppy, a Chipin, for almost 10 years. She is my child. One of my friends has a Corgi but upon the grow in of her adult coat found out she is allergic. My friend sees and knows how I love my baby so she has asked me to adopt her.Well my mother, step father, and I all live together. My mom has two outside dogs and up until a month ago one inside dog. The. I came home from work one day and she just told me she was getting another dog and they were going to pick it up the next day. These are not small dogs, they are all large breeds.After my friend asked me to adopt her Corgi, I went home and spoke with my mother, explained and told her I wanted the dog. She then starts to tell me that she takes care of her dogs, to which I asked her if she was saying I didn’t take care of my own, and she back peddled on that. First saying they took my baby out during the day while I was at work, which is optional because she is crate and potty pad trained. She told me to give her and my stepfather the weekend to think it over.No first, let me say I am a 44 yr old woman and I was not asking permission. So mom comes back on Sunday to tell me she spoke with a friend at church and that she has friends who want to take her. The “friend” is a vet tech with several other animals and cats. I am also really concerned because this 8 mth old pup is not spayed (which I was immediately going to have done) and they would try to turn her into a breeder because she is akc documented.My mother’s complaint was that I wouldn’t spend the time with the new girl she deserved. I am always with my girl if I’m home. My mother even pointed out that I spend no time around her and my stepfather, which I don’t I like hanging with my puppy. Then mom throws out that the new dog might hurt my other dog or break her back. I already arranged to get both certified as emotional support and cleared to take to work with me everyday. I have a huge office and plenty of room for crates/toys.So first aita for being angry with my mother? Secondly, aita for not vouching for this other person that I don’t know?",AITA for Adopting A 2nd Dog,INFO
10w8kxl,"My GF (Sarah, 29) and I (M, 28) have been dating for 5 years, and I wanted to go on a vacation with her to celebrate. I planned the trip for several months (of course I shared my plans with her), and decided on skiing/snowboarding/other winter activities in CO. The activities seemed perfect, and I was looking forward to this for months because I wanted to propose to her at the end of the trip.5 days before the trip, Sarah dropped the ball on me that she invited 2 of her friends to meet her there. I was upset because I wanted to spend 1:1 time with Sarah for our anniversary. I feel like it was plain and clear that this was a trip for just us. Even though I expressed my concerns, Sarah insisted that her friends already made plans to come and won't back out.I decided to accept this because there was no way for me to force her friends to not come (I wish I fought more on this). I figured we could make some changes to our plans, and I would still be able to propose to her privately. Sarah essentially blew me off for her friends and we didn't get any private time.After 3 days of being in second place, I decided to leave the trip and head home. I told Sarah why I was leaving, and she was upset. She told her friends about my decision, and I was ganged up on. They said we were all having a great time. She thinks I'm being a jerk for making her pick between her friends and me (even though her friends weren't invited in the first place). I never had personal issues with her friends prior to this trip. I never made Sarah pick between me or her friends because everyone needs friends outside of a relationship.I'm at home now and thinking about everything. I have a day to myself before Sarah comes home, so at least I get to relax a bit. Sarah and her friends think I'm overreacting and think I ruined the trip. I think Sarah was disrespectful and rude to me by ruining the purpose of this trip and having her friends gang up on me.AITA For Leaving a Vacation I Planned for my GF After Her Friends Came Along?EDIT: This was a planned \*anniversary/romantic\* trip. I was clear that we have plans for just us two. We've been on other anniversary trips together without her friends there. We did discuss marriage beforehand, so it's not like a proposal wouldn't been out of the blue.MINOR UPDATE: My friends are here at the house and they have been running potential interference, just in case her friends try to bombard and harass me. They've been great and I'm so glad to have them!",AITA For Leaving a Vacation I Planned for my GF After Her Friends Came Along?,NTA
10wk92f,"Using a throwaway account.My (32f) daughter (16f) grew up extremely close to my sister (23f) because of how small the age gap between them is, and my sister got married in September. However she decided to have a childfree wedding, and my daughter was not invited.My daughter was extremely upset about this as my sister always talked about how important my daughter being at her wedding was going to be, and her wedding being childfree completely came out of left field.Recently, my daughter's 16th birthday past and she decided to have a small party with me as well as her father and a couple of other close family and friends. My sister wasn't invited, and when she asked me what time she should show up I told her that my daughter was still upset about not being invited to one of her most important events.My sister got upset, asking why I was letting my daughter punish her because she had her wedding how she wanted it. I asked what she expected knowing how close she and my daughter are, and told her she should have known that my daughter would be upset about it.My daughter had a blast at her party, and my sister is still being passive-aggressive towards me and husband. I know it's my daughter party, and it's supposed to be about her, but my sister's behavior is making me feel doubtful about my decision.So, AITA?Edit: I did initially bring up that my daughter not being invited upset her, but my sister told she wanted the freedom to go wild at her wedding and that my daughter would eventually get over it",AITA For Asking My Sister What She Expected After My Daughter Didn't Invite To Her Birthday,NTA
10wc99b,"When I was 18, my mom remarried my stepdad who had a baby girl, and we became as close as any sisters as she grew up. I'm now 34 and she's 17. Last week, she got outed at school and to make a bad situation worse, her dad was mad at her, said she was lying for attention, and when she said it was for real, called her a slur. She came over my apartment distraught and looking for some advice, I'm a lesbian and have been out for years.I told her that I was so sorry that happened, that was shitty since she deserved to be able to decide who to tell and when. But she wasn't the only one outed.Her dad? He just outed himself as a bigot. He outed himself as someone who should have never become a parent if he wasn't ready to love and accept his own damn child. And her school administrators? Outed themselves as negligent, probably even in the legal sense.But overall, when I come out, I often out other people wayyy harder than I out myself.  It can be hard, but it can also feel empowering, to take a torch to the darkness, light it for all to see, and burn it away. Just by being in the room, and letting people tell on themselves, we're outing bigots. So I let them talk, and then go tell whoever I damn well please. I let them become known as ignorant and bigoted, cause that's a hell of a lot worse than being known as queer.I told her it was horrible her story was taken from her, but I hoped she knew it isn't taken forever. It's her right to say as much or as little to whoever she wants. And if someone gossips? They don't know her heart, they're just revealing their own hatred and ugliness. So don't let it eat at you. So document and record it if you want. Share it if you want, or keep it just in case. But whatever you do, it's all your call. It always is. We talked well into the night. And she was feeling way better afterwards, and ready to go home and face her dad again.Well, shortly after she went home, my mom called me. She said that my sis had come home and told her dad that they should ""agree to disagree"" about her sexuality, and anything further he had to say about it spoke only to his own character and said fuck-all about her. And when he tried to argue she took out her phone and started filming and saying ""Do tell... You had a fucking child and weren't ready to love it? Get a fuckin DOG if you want something that'll come back begging when you abuse it"" My mom called me furious because she thought I'd coached her on what to say, which I genuinely hadn't. I told her what advice I had given, and she was angry I even said that much, and asked me if it would have killed me to say that I think her dad loves her and to give him some time to understand. I was irate to hear that honestly because... Like what she actually said was heartbreaking and it hurts to hear my mom and stepdad didn't listen one bit. AITA for the advice I gave?","AITA for the advice I gave my younger stepsister, after she was outed against her will at school?",NTA
10wgcq5,"AITA for interfering in the bouquet toss at my GF's sister's wedding? My girlfriend *(we'll call her 'Maggie')* and I went to her sister's wedding on Sunday (1/22). It was a great event, and things were going well for most of the evening. This was the first time I met Maggie's mother, but I had already met the rest of her family. When it came time for the bouquet 💐 toss, Maggie was one of the ladies in the group to try & catch it. I thought I had an opportunity to be funny and lift the mood, so I stood behind Maggie and slapped the flowers 💐 to the ground before she could catch them. Idk if she actually would have been the one to catch them, but I did it anyways. I was doing it as a joke, which I thought would be obvious to everyone (I was like 0.0001% serious, I'm actually not interested in marriage. I'm in my 20s). I really had no bad intentions & wasn't trying to upset anyone, I thought I would get a chuckle from the crowd.  After I slapped the bouquet 💐 to the floor there was an audible *gasp* from everyone around, followed by an awkward silence. I was a little embarrassed but I laughed anyways to try to nonverbally show everyone that it was a joke. Nobody laughed. After a bit the moment had passed, and everyone was starting a big dinner. Nobody talked to me and I was getting a couple sideways glances. Maggie's mother eventually pulled me aside and (very respectfully) asked me to leave. To which I obliged. I didn't want to cause a scene. A few weeks later my GF & her sister are over it, but the mom still seems weird about it. I haven't spoken to her since then. Was this an AH move? Or was it just a lighthearted joke that was misinterpreted?",AITA for interfering in the bouquet toss at my GF's sister's wedding?,YTA
10wkvge,"Today was my BiL's birthday, and we had a family dinner. There was the birthday boy, his girlfriend, my husband, me, our baby, their parents, uncle and aunt. We went to a Mexican restaurant. I had steak fajitas. Our baby likes to eat off of our plates. He grabbed one of my tortillas, so I tore it into strips for him. He also ate the grilled tomatos, peppers and onions off of my skillet and grabbed a piece of steak to suck on.Brother in law's girlfriend said that it was unappetizing to see our baby grabbing food off of my plate and giving her anxiety as well because she was worried he would choke. I told her to look at her own plate instead of mine. She was somewhat put out when I said that. Halfway through the meal my husband took the baby so I could focus on my food and socialize a bit. Baby went to town on hubby's leftover chicken quesadilla.Again, brother's girlfriend said she was anxious and put off her food. My husband shrugged at her. After dinner, everyone else was using the restroom, and it was the two of us watching everyone's stuff. She told me I was very rude to her and that she was unable to enjoy her boyfriend's birthday because of our poor table manners. I said she should have focused on her boyfriend and her own meal instead of what my husband or I were doing. She said I was a very selfish person.I'm very irritated by the whole thing, but since she was so confident we were assholes to her, were we?",AITA because our baby ate off our plates?,NTA
10w6z7c,"I, 32F, have a 15yo daughter. My sister, 35F, got married last week. I was her MOH. My sister said that no children would be allowed at her wedding as they are loud and noisy. I brought my 15yo daughter because her aunt was getting married and she wanted to wish her well!At the wedding, my parents were shooting me daggers, and my sister came over furious. She asked ""Who was I to completely disregard her rules?"". I was confused until she pointed out that my daughter should not be there. I argued, saying that the reason she didn't want children there was because they would misbehave. My daughter was silent, never on her phone, and was extremely respectful.I left the wedding early and my parents are blowing up my phone with angry texts. My husband agrees with me, but says I could have handled the situation better. My sister is refusing to speak with me until I apologize, but I don't think I did anything wrong. So, AITA?Edit: Based on the responses, I understand that I was rude for not at least checking in first. I should have verified whether or not my daughter could come. There was no mal intent, but all the same I will apologize to my sister and daughter. My sister and daughter are very close, another reason why I thought she would have been invited.Edit 2: I have seen these questions a lot so :The invite was a pretty generic card that said ""We hope to see you at our wedding!"", with the RSVP info, dresscode, etc. I RSVP'd two people, my daughter and I. I believe my sister thought the two RSVPs were my husband and I. My husband did not attend as he was suddenly called out of town for a work conference. There was a place setting, chair, etc, for my daughter because I RSVP'd two people. I assumed my daughter would be allowed because my sister stated that she didn't want children at the wedding due to noise, tantrums, misbehavior, etc.",AITA For bringing my daughter to a childfree wedding?,YTA
10wivoh,"Fake names. I (27F) moved in with my boyfriend Chris (33M, together 4 years) a few months ago. Chris’s niece Emily (19F) also lives with here. Her home life was not very stable and she moved in with Chris right after her high school graduation and is now attending college in our area. Im a very organized person and I’ve been cleaning out and reorganizing closets and the garage since I’ve moved in. I don’t touch Emily’s things if it can be helped and I definitely don’t go in her space. There’s a little walk in pantry off the kitchen that Chris used as a general storage area and I’ve been wanting to clean it out and use it as intended. I pulled everything out and sorted into 3 piles - keep, move, get rid of. One of the things was a small box of craft paints and brushes. I checked to see if there was anything i could use in the box but besides a bag of popsicle sticks, nothing was salvageable. The brushes hadn’t been washed so they were ruined and the paint was mostly dried out. So I put it in the toss pile. When Chris got home, I had him take a look over what I planned to get rid of and he gave me the okay. I piled the stuff headed for the trash next to the garage door to sort for the garbage in the morning. Emily came home and saw the pile. The paints were hers not Chris’s moms. She got really, really angry with me for throwing her stuff out and yelled at me. Apparently she hates me. Hates my cat, hates the food I cook, hates my holidays, just dislikes everything about me. Im an idiot for not checking with her before throwing things out. I should move out. And etc. It was a lot to take in. I felt a little bad that I threw out her stuff but not too much, to be honest. None of it was usable and it wasn’t high end art supplies, it was generic craft paint and cheap foam brushes. And after she finished screaming at me, I really didn’t feel that bad at all anymore. She left to spend the night at her friends house. She didn’t take the box back out of the pile, if that makes a difference. Chris is really upset with her, way more than I am. He is thinking of asking her to move into the dorms or an apartment next semester and now I feel a little worse that’ll she be out on her ass because of me when she finally got a little stability in her life. Am I really supposed check with everyone in the house before I put trash in the trash? AITA?",AITA for throwing away my bf’s niece’s stuff without asking?,NTA
10weiu2,"I (25m) am very thrilled that I am in the financial position to rent a house by myself. I worked all through college, have a good job now, and was excited to live alone. I’ve been doing so for about a year. This is going to sound very dumb but one thing I started to do as a bachelor living at home was walk around in my underwear. Not only is it comfortable but I’ve spent the last few years going from chubby to really fit and for the first time I don’t get bummed out seeing my body. It felt thrilling at first but now it’s part of my routine. My brother (18m) live in a city about an hour drive away with our parents. He picked a college about fifteen minutes away from me knowing he’d have to drive about an hour to school everyday and then an hour back. He asked if he could stay with me while he was at school. Now I wasn’t exactly thrilled about giving up my independence but also knew two hours of driving every day on top of college classes sounds awful. I told him he could stay with me rent free but I wasn’t going to act as any caregiver. He was on his own for food and I would be living my typical lifestyle without interruption. He agreed. When he moved in my brother was annoyed about the underwear thing. He started off making fun of me (in a brotherly way) before outright telling me to stop. I reminded him of our deal but he was still pissed. Now whenever my brother brought friends over he would let me know and I’d get dressed. But lately he hasn’t been giving me a heads up and multiple people have come over to see me in my undies. It hasn’t bothered me and I always get dressed. It happened enough times that I’ve asked him about it and he confirmed he was doing it to try and shame me into stopping. He said I was inconsiderate of him and I told him he can move out of my house whenever he wants. AITA?",AITA for continuing to not wear clothes around the house despite the fact my brother brings unannounced guests over?,NTA
10wing2,"Hi there, my family is well aware that I am a big fan of building Lego sets. The gem of my collection is a very expensive Millennium Falcon set which cost me over $1000.Recently I had to go away for work and asked my sister, her husband and nephew to house sit, as I have two dogs. I have a big box of Lego pieces that I told them my nephew was free to play with but I made it very clear that the Millennium Falcon was not to be touched (it sits on top of a bookcase in my office).I came back from my work trip to find that my BIL, while my sister was out, let my nephew ""take a look up close"" of the Millennium Falcon and lo and behold, he dropped it, not only smashing it but damaging and losing some of the individual pieces (yes, I've attempted to reconstruct it since).I'm now demanding that my sister and her husband pay for a replacement but I'm being told I'm overreacting and my hobby is ""for children"". After several arguments, my BIL has offered to buy a $250 Millennium Falcon set from Target - not the Ultimate Collector Series version I originally purchased.AITA for demanding my sister's family replace the Lego set they broke?(This is a throwaway account, for obvious reasons.)",AITA for demanding my sister's family replace the Lego set they broke??,NTA
10whv7h,"My husband and I (both 30) live about 2 hours from his brother (32M), brother’s wife, and their four year old son. Last night, they were in the area to celebrate SIL’s father’s retirement. We didn’t know they would be here and made no plans, but after dinner they showed up at our home at 10:10pm.We live on a dark street with a winding driveway that only faces our garage. We were already upstairs watching a movie and didn’t see them drive up. BIL called my husband but his phone was on silent and he didn’t see it until 20 minutes later. By then, they had already left, but he asked if he should call and tell them to come back. I said absolutely not - I had to wake up today at 6am for work and they would have come in, had a drink, and probably stayed until 12am. The house was kind of messy and I was already in PJs. Plus, I’m tired of them showing up unannounced. They do it randomly to “surprise” us (like they’re doing us a favor) and expect us to feed them and play the top hosts but don’t reciprocate. They also get mad when we’re not available to host them in the name of family. Of course, BIL called my husband and yelled for 20 minutes today about how we shunned them. He said that family should always be welcome and they would welcome us if we showed up unannounced (we never have). They hung up angry and now my husband is upset with me, saying it would be easier to just let them come in for an hour next time. So AITA for not?Tl:dr; BIL and family showed up unannounced and I pretended we didn’t know. AITA?",AITA for not allowing BIL’s family inside when they showed up unannounced?,NTA
10w8wy8,"I (F42) have a sister (F26) who was hospitalized a few weeks ago for an alcohol OD. Luckily, she made it out alive, but she continued her old ways despite all that happened and still continues to drink her life away. I reached out to her 3 days ago to make sure she was okay and asked if she needed anything, but she went off on me out of completely nowhere, told me to fuck off if it's about her alcoholism and mind my own business, and that she'd block me if I wouldn't stop talking about her issue. I never once brought up anything about her being an alcoholic, nor did I lecture her. I was just checking on her. That's it.But there were many other times we did attempt to get her help. My mom (F62) and I have tried to offer her moral support more than a thousand times, whether it be getting her therapist, attending church with her, becoming involved in activities outside of our houses together, etc. but she turned us down every single time.I don't mean to sound cruel, but I have had it. I let my mom know that she's a grown woman and that grown woman should be solving her own problems, not us. I went as far as saying, ""if she dies, she dies."" We ended up having a heated argument and my mom exclaimed, ""If you die, I won't be there at your deathbed or your funeral!"" That's what caused distant relations between my mother for the past couple days.AITA?","AITA for telling my mom that if my sister dies, she dies?",NTA
10wbp7m,"Throwaway account for very obvious reasons. Some back story, my partners parents are homophobic and will not be attending our wedding. My mother had a liver transplant in 2021 after being extremely sick for a while.Flash-forward to this year and my fiancée and I will be getting married in September. We will be sending out invitations in a few months and recently met with an invitation designer. My parents have been very gracious in helping pay for the wedding which I appreciate more than I can say. However, my partners parents are homophobic and have told him they will not be attending the wedding. They have also forbidden any out of town guests from staying with them or even visiting while they are here for the wedding. My partner has been very upset about this and decided to not send a save the date or invitation to his parents.My parents have told me before that since they are paying for the wedding, they would like their names to go on them saying that they would ""request the attendance"" of guests at the wedding. They've said it's tradition and the right thing to do. As we were discussing the invitations, my fiancée said how upset the situation with his parents has been making him. We spoke and decided it would be best to not put my parents names on the invitations for two reasons. 1. Since his parents are extremely hurtful when it comes to our relationship, they do not deserve to be on the invitations, especially since they will not be coming to the wedding and 2. Because we both agree it would be awkward to have one set of parents on the invitation and at the wedding. In other words, my fiancée will have no parents at the wedding and will not get a first dance with mom, etc., already.However, my parents are very upset. They say I'm being hurtful by not having them on the invitations and that I should stand up for them to be on the invitations. However, they know the situation and I've told them that our invitation designer even said we shouldn't do the parents names given the situation. AITA?",AITA for not putting my parents names on my wedding invitations?,YTA
10wg14u,"For context, my family including me (29f), spouse (42), and stepdaughter (10f) have a 1.5 year old golden retriever who is very excitable and energetic, always in everyone’s business. My stepdaughter is also quite energetic and slightly absent minded (symptoms of ADHD). Last month, my stepdaughter was eating grapes. As stepdaughter was pulling the grapes off the stems, she dropped 2 grapes. Dog was nearby but didn’t get the grapes. However, after picking up and throwing out the dropped grape, stepdaughter dropped another one and this time dog ate it. Called the emergency vet (occurred on a Sunday) and we had to drive dog 1 hour to the pet hospital to induce vomiting. Expensive trip but worth it to save dog. We took stepdaughter with to see that even accidents have consequences, and that it is important to slow down and be careful, we thought this sunk in.Fast forward to tonight. Stepdaughter asks for chocolate as a snack. She tried to sneak off with a bag full of chocolate coins but as I saw this I told her to ask my spouse if she could have all of that at once (she tends to overeat sweets if not supervised). She went back to the kitchen and was told she can have 3 coins. So stepdaughter opened the pouch and dropped a coin. She picked it up and I came out to see what happened when I heard my spouse asking her why that keeps happening. Just then, stepdaughter accidentally drops the entire bag of chocolate coins and dog goes after them all. I shouted “No, no, no!!!” And snatched the chocolate coins from the floor, dogs mouth, and stepdaughter’s hands and said “we are done with this I’ve had enough.” I set the coins on the table then my spouse threw them out. My stepdaughter ran upstairs bawling and my spouse reprimanded me for my reaction.  I feel bad for my stepdaughter but even accidents have consequences and this is a lot of close calls with dog. AITA?",AITA for my reaction to my stepdaughter dropping chocolate twice near our dog,YTA
10wag7k,"I (24M) know that a lot of people will just look at the title and just say I'm in the wrong because of the stigma, but hear me out. It is winter where I live so I'm consistently cold and not really sweating or anything. I usually shower when I feel gross and it usually takes me 5-6 days before I actually start to feel gross. I'm not crazy, in the summer when it's hot and sticky I shower every 2-3 days like normal but it just doesn't feel necessary in the winter!Anyway, the inciting incident here was on Sunday. I was ordering more shampoo and commented on how the price had almost doubled since last time. My girlfriend (29F) asked when I last ordered it and it was some time in mid-2020. She was shocked ""how did it take you almost 3 years to go through a bottle of shampoo?"" I told her that I don't use a lot and eventually we got into how frequently I showered and she acted like I was crazy. She didn't even know that I was averaging one shower a week because I keep good hygiene. I groom myself regularly and wear deodorant so I don't think anyone can really tell the difference. Then my girlfriend, we'll call her Granet, starts going on about ""oh that explains the smell"" and stuff like that. I totally think she was just making it up at this point. I've been dating her for 2 years and she's never commented about smell or anything. There's no way she just happened to decide that I smell bad now that she knows my shower schedule. She's just trying to shame me. We argued for a while about it and then she went home.Today, I saw my mom (56F) for lunch and I told her about it. She agreed with me that it's fine and that she's never thought that I looked greasy or unclean. My mom also said that I should consider showering at least a couple times a week if Granet has a problem with it, but if she can't actually tell the difference why bother? I'm considering trying to say that I'm showering every other day but keeping my normal routine. If she can actually tell the difference she will know but if not then it's just a little white lie. Is this wrong for me to do?Am I a supervillain just because I'm not following the societal norm? I remember reading that overshowering can cause head lice but no one even talks about that. Reddit, has anyone else been in a similar scenario?EDIT: Hey everyone, appreciate the comments from people who were kind and tactful in their replies. I've done some research after seeing the overwhelming amount of responses and I am going to start showering more to prevent the buildup of harmful bacteria. Also some people pointed out that I accidentally said Granet for the fake name. I'm dyslexic and meant to put Garnet lol! Thanks for coming out everybody hope you all have a good night!",AITA for only showering once a week?,YTA
10wf1yz,"My sister (21f) and me (18f) always fought when we were little. She never wanted a sibling and I didn’t necessarily want her to be my older sister either. My parents tried to make us get along but stopped after a couple years realizing that there was no point. I have been obsessed with getting straight a’s since I was a little girl. I only hung out with a few friends and spent my free time either studying or playing sports throughout high school. While my sister struggled in school and hung out with the wrong people and got into some very bad stuff. This didn’t make her a bad person but it made her make some very dumb decisions. One of her dumb decisions led to my nephew who is now 2 years old. I put aside my differences with my sister and have an amazing relationship with him. I babysit him all the time and come to play with him while my sister sleeps (she works overnights). My issue is that my parents and sister want me to give up my car to her so that she can have a safer car since hers is old and keeps breaking down. My car is something I worked my ass off for and I really don’t want to give it up. My parents bought it for me as a birthday gift since my grades had been so well throughout high school and I got into a very good college. I spent countless nights staying up till 3am studying, gave up on time with my friends and bf just so that I could keep my grades up. Honestly I view this car as my baby and a product of my hard work.My sister has been texting me all week about it and her boyfriend too. She has been telling me it’s only fair since I was the reason our parents never paid attention to her and just because I got good grades doesn’t mean I deserve the car. She told me i’d be putting her son in danger if I kept making them drive their unsafe car. My parents told me it’s completely my decision but I can feel that they want me to give it to her. I know they most likely can’t afford a brand new and even slightly used car now, especially since they are going to help pay half of my college.I understand that she needs a safer car but I don’t feel like it should be my responsibility to provide it for her. Like I said I worked so hard for it and I’ll be left carless if I do let her have it. I want my nephew to be safe but shouldn’t that be my parents job not mine. It is unfair for her but she choice to live that life and putting the blame on me just feels wrong.",AITA for not wanting to give up my car to my sister so that her family can have a safer car?,NTA
10w66io,"I cannot stand people being late to things. Well if you are late and you are getting there yourself, I don't care. But if I am there to pick someone up or we are leaving together I need them to be on time. I refuse to be late because of another person. It's a big issue for me because growing up my parents would be late to everything. We'd always arrive at a movie 10 minutes+ into the movie (after the commercials.) If we were supposed to be somewhere I just KNEW we'd be late. Even to important things that would reflect poorly on me. They'd make me late to all of them. So if I say we are leaving at this time or I will pick you up at this time. I mean that time. And my friends know this. They make jokes about times when I pulled up and waited until the exact time and just drove off to the destination.​Recently we had a 4 day getaway with a few friends planned. One of my chronically late friends that knows how I am with these things asked me to pick her up. I told her that we were leaving at this exact time and that if she isn't there I will just go. I've never picked her up before but she usually arrives late to hangouts which I don't mind. As long as you're not making ME late I don't care. You can miss half the movie, oh well. The day came and I drove to her apartment. I was a few minutes early and texted that I was there. I didn't get a response until the agreed time she said she'd be at the car. She said ""just a few minutes."" I texted that I am going to the airport and that she should arrange an Uber. I just drove off and like 40 minutes later while I was at the airport she called me asking where I was. Which told me that I would have been waiting there for 40 minutes so I think I made a good choice. I told her that I said I was going to the airport. She said she thought I was joking and got pissed and even said ""such a typical man.""​She ended up missing the flight and having to take a later flight and missed the first day of vacation. My friends are on my side and think it's silly that she is still so upset about it. They are like ""you know how he rolls. this was your fault"" and ""why would you expect someone to wait 40 minutes?"" Her best friend that is also friends with us is taking her side and said I was mean. I guess I do feel bad because we all put money toward this vacation and she missed a whole day of it. AITA",AITA for leaving without my friend when I agreed to pick her up,NTA
10wl7eh,"TAI'm such a hypocrite posting this here, but here we are.​So my(35) birthday was yesterday and me and my family got together, and this were everything started . My stepson is graduating in a few months and my brother, Mark(40) asked him how he was going to pay for his college fees, especially since he was going to medical. My son told him that I was paying for a huge part and that my parents were giving him some money too. And my brother just got this nasty expression on his face and said something in the lines of ""Of course the golden child's kids are getting everything handed to them too, even if they aren't related""I asked him what he was talking about and his gf piped up and started talking about how my parents loved me the most and how ""dear poor Mark was so neglected"" and other things like that. I asked what the hell she was talking about and she started giving examples on how my parents treated me better than Mark. Some of the few examples she gave was how Mark got in more trouble than me when he crashed our parents car (He drove the car high on drugs, while I panicked when I saw a spider on the dashboard and accidently hit the mail box), how I got my education partly paid for (We both had trust funds but my parents used his to provide support to the 3 girls he got pregnant (he was 18)), etc.Apparently his gf new nothing about any of this, judging by the look on his face and they had a fight about it at the party. They ended up breaking up. And his friends have been calling me to tell me I'm the AH",AITA for embarrassing my brother in front of his gf?,NTA
10w6hw5,"I'm definitely the A to myself at least somewhat for getting into this situation, but I don't think the rest of this is me. I'm a junior in college. I ended up in a bad roommate situation where I needed to switch dorms mid-year. Unlike in August, the options are more limited for mid-year switches, and the only opening the office could find was with a married couple whose previous roommate had just graduated. I was nervous about living with a couple and especially a straight one, but these dorms are set up as apartments, each bedroom has its own bath, and it's only for one semester so I decided to suck it up. They did not. Cindy almost screamed and ran into her bedroom the first time she saw me. Alex covered it by saying that I just look a lot like someone she had a bad history with (gee, thanks) and that she has anxiety but will calm down.  It's been a month now and she has not. Cindy has never spoken directly to me, so I have to go through Alex for any conversation, something that makes me really uncomfortable. She hides in her room if she so much as knows I'm home. In the times that I've been in the common room when she's walked in, she immediately ran to her room or outside. Alex keeps saying she ""just has anxiety"" and it will ease up, but it's very tense. They/her now want to schedule times for use of the common room or for me to share my schedule of when I'll be around to ""make everyone feel comfortable"". I don't want to do this. I shouldn't have to. I have a right to be home whenever without announcing it first. The housing office thinks I should to be polite because they're not telling me I can't be there, they just want an idea of when. I think my roommates need to just deal with it. I'm compromising a lot to live with them, and they need to as well.",AITA for being in the living room even though it makes my roommates uncomfortable?,NTA
10wb35h,"8 days ago I sold a used car to a woman. I was the second owner and I know every nut and bolt that has ever been touched on this thing. First owner was my MiL and she gave me three folders worth of paper documenting every damn thing from the day she took the key from the dealer.Also, I just had the emissions tested 6 months ago. I've driven it about 500 miles since then. I only sold it because I was handed a crazy deal on a newer car (well, a 2012) and I can't drive twoMy phone rings today.  The woman tells me she registered it Monday but she took it to a mechanic and he said the catalytic converter was ruined and was throwing codes. OK. Well, I immediately suspect that mechanic, as the P0420 code she mentioned (2008 Subaru Outback 2.5l) is almost *always* the O2 sensor and rarely the catalytic converter failing. It's absolutely possible the cat failed but honestly that is not the thing you jump to first. You change the O2 sensor and clear the code and see if it comes back. In fact you should change front and rear sensors because that will eliminate both from the problem, as that code covers both sensors and the cat. ANYWAY...She tells me the story. I replied:""Okay?""""Well what can you do to help me this is very expensive.""""You bought a used car as is. I can't help you if you think I'm financially responsible for this.""The sweet voice disappears. She got ***INSTA***mad""Well I think you should do something this feels like a scam! This is gonna cost me so much money""""Lady I think the mechanic is lying to you. You should definitely take it somewhere else.""Now she starts actually yelling into the phone.""YOU SOLD ME A PIECE OF SHIT THAT WAS BROKEN. YOU NEVER SAID THE CATALYTIC CONVERTER////""Oh hell no. So I yell ""Ma'am"" repeatedly until she stop talking.""LET ME STOP YOU THERE. You bought a used car as is. Do not call me about this car again.""  And I hung up and blocked the number.Now I know there is an exhaust leak just after the muffler, and I told her that. The emissions test place said that has no bearing on the results as the cat was processing the exhaust before it hit the leak. And the leak is literally two inches from the exhaust tip at the back end. Again, I disclosed the leak, AND the vibrating heat shield that needs tightening every year or two. I told her every damn thing, right down to the fact that I lost a 10mm bolt for the belt shroud and zip-tied it down. I tried to be 100% transparent and she bought it anyway.I feel bad because I think a shop is trying to scam her for a cat and rear O2 sensor, when it's probably just the O2. But now I'm blocking her and not telling her that because she went from 0 to 987 mph yelling at me. AITA?","AITA for selling a used car and when the buyer called me a week later complaining, reminding her it's a used car, as is, and telling her not to call me again?",NTA
10weudm,"My sisters husband took off and left her with their two kids. She having a hard time supporting her and her kids so I've let her and her kids move in with me. I figured it would be a win win for both of us since I am also a single parent and could use some help with child care for my own two kids.We haven't run into any issues so far except when it comes to this one thing. I have since pretty much forever have gotten takeout or gone out to eat once a week. Its sort of a special rewards meal for the end of the week. Now that I have kids I of course include them and nowadays I just let them take turn take turns choosing what we're going to have.Soon after my sister moved in I realized that she could not afford to go out to eat or get takeout every week. It's not in my budget to pay for them in addition to my own family. I thought it would be mean to order takeout in front of them though so I made a new rule with my kids that for the time being we were not going to get takeout and only go out to eat for our special meal. My kids were fine with it because they could still go to their favorite places.On this past Saturday before we left one of my nieces got upset because we were going out without them again and they never get to have ""good food"" anymore. Other niece also said it wasn't fair and it turned into hysterics, so we quickly left.My sister has now asked that I not take my kids out as much anymore. Instead she thinks we could just do pizza once a month all together and that it wouldn't be such a big deal to stop going out. I'm okay with the ide of pizza once a month with them, but I think its a little unfair to my kids to stop our tradition for the remaining weeks in the month when they look forward to it so much. Also on a selfish note I really enjoy it. With three other people in the house I don't get as much time alone with my kids. I enjoy the company of my sisters and nieces, but sometimes I just want to have a meal alone with my kids.",AITA for taking my kids out to dinner every week while my sister and her kids are staying with us?,NTA
10wbftu,"On the fence with this one. My(26) GF(24) of 3 years is wonderful. She's punky, outgoing, gorgeous and has a unique personal style. I love her to death. Every bit of her. And this is about her hair. Don't get me wrong I have always loved her hair in every color and she used to dye it once every few weeks to new colors and such. When she takes care of it, its what they call ""Unicorn"" (?) hair. It's rainbow essentially. It's cool and her style and she's like a living Ramona Flowers. Now onto the issue. She hasnt kept up with it in over a year. Her regular hair is brown and has grown a lot so she has two tone hair now *ontop* of what's faded. The rest of her hair is swampy and green and orange and lots of faded colors showing through yellow hair and while I don't know much about hair, it looks like it's going to break off if she so much as brushes it the wrong way. It's fluffy and just looks, for lack of a better term, bad. Honestly though it looks very bad. Personally I dont truly care. It doesn't bug me. I know she used to care a lot about her hair so idk when or why she got apathetic about it as she does keep up other personal care habits like getting her nails done monthly and getting new tattoos.The issue is since dropping out of school this last semester she's been looking for work and a few of the ideas she has had are working in makeup stores (? \*only question cause Idk if thats what they're officially called) to be a floor artist (?). She's selt taught but has wanted to go into makeup for a while. She has an interview next week and has been asking about what to wear.. I gave her my input (business casual black clothing) and did comment on her hair at the time that she may want to either go back to her regular color or go get a haircut or new dye job to show off her style. Will note firstly said in a positive light since I know it can be a sensitive topic.  She asked what I meant and it got into a whole thing with her keep badgering me to tell her what I meant and how I thouhgt of her hair. Way I see it, beauty industry is going to judge how their employees look regarding beauty (not like things you can't change, I mean like hair, makeup, nails and stuff) and that her hair since being neglected for months needs to be refreshed cause it looks really unhealthy and dirty and she immediately shot me down and said I was being mysognitstic and trying to 'change her' to my own preferences. She undoubtedly told her friends and now they all think I'm a controlling asshole too. AITA here",AITA for telling my girlfriend she needs to change her hair color?,NTA
10w8bjl,"My boyfriend’s mom Michelle, has 5 kids. My boyfriend, and 4 younger siblings (10,9,8,3). She’s a single mom, and often relies on me for babysitting, since most other people aren’t close by or won’t help for free. Michelle is getting married to Tony next weekend, and needs someone to babysit the kids for 4 days while she gets married and goes on a mini honeymoon. Michelle has told me that she doesn’t want me driving the kids anywhere, and only doing one activity a day as to not stress the kids out. (She’d consider a book, a small art project or playing outside for 15 minutes an activity). She also wants me to run the activity by her first, either through call or text. I’m a nanny and have experience with groups of upto 20 kids with just me in charge, so I’m confident in my childcare and driving. Michelle often complains to bf about me, and all the bad things I do, like walking the dog (small dogs don’t need walks according to her) , or teaching 10 and 9 how to make pizza, or things I say (10 yo doesn’t need to know about deodorant, I shouldn’t tell kids I volenteer at a homeless shelter ) and lately I’ve been doing nothing right. Bf tries to stand up for me the best he can, but Michelle is a crier when people disagree with her. Because of all this, I want to tell Michelle that if she doesn’t trust my judgement, she can find a new free babysitter. I might be the asshole for cancelling on Michelle so close to her wedding, knowing that a sitter for 4 days would be expensive and hard to find so last minute.AITA?","WIBTA for telling bf’s mom that if she doesn’t trust my judgement, she should find a new free babysitter for her kids?",NTA
10wo47x,"I (55M) have always loved kids, even thought I never wanted or had any of my own. In July will be 20 years I married my wife (48F). We were talking about having a big party to celebrate, and decided to redo our vows as well.For context, I have come to seriously dislike this trend of ""no children wedding"". Yes they make noise and don't behave perfectly, but that's what makes weddings fun. Most weddings nowadays are so boring and lifeless.Recently 2 young cousins and a niece (all in their 20s) had no children weddings. As I said, I don't have kids, but that bugged me. When the first no children wedding was announced I expressed disappointment, but didn't push or said anything else. When my niece decided to also have a no children wedding, I talked to my sister in private once... and never mentioned anymore (My sister also thought it wasn't good to exclude children but that's what my niece wanted). The third wedding was no under 18s, which I think it's even more absurd. But this time said nothing.So to the question in hand, last week I sent a message in the family group chat telling people to save the date, that we were planning a second wedding, and a big party to celebrate our 20th anniversary.And just to be cheeky, I joked that would be a ""no young adults wedding"" so no 18s to 29. This was a joke and I never intended enforcing this. I was just trying to make a point about the absurdity of excluding people from weddings based on age.Well... as you can image, that didn't go very well. People asked why and I said it's because it's gonna be an open bar and young people don't know how to behave and drink responsibly. (Similar to one excuse for no children because people will drink)My niece caught up I was joking, but send me a message privately saying it was hurtful for me to make fun of her wedding day. I said I wasn't making fun of it, only pointing out the absurdity not allowing children.Soon I came clean on the chat, that was just a joke. Most already had seen it for what it was. But people were still saying I was an asshole.I didn't thought it was that bad, until my wife sees the thread and go berserker on me. I hadn't even realized she wasn't reading the text as the situation unfolded. She apologized in the chat... and told me my idiotic joke could have ruined or anniversary, if already hadn't. She was embarrassed and hurt.AITA for trying to make a point about ""no children wedding""? AITA for doing it without telling my wife? AITA for thinking excluding people from weddings based on age is stupid? AITA for embarrassing my wife?","AITA for saying my wedding will be a ""no young adults wedding""?",YTA
10wiorf,"I (37f) have two kids (5 + 7). Me and my husband (38m) just purchased a new 4 bedroom house. One room for me and my husband, one for each child, plus a spare.Here's where the trouble comes in. I sew and craft a lot and would like a space for my equipment. My husband thinks we should bring the kids toys into the room for them to have a playroom. I do not like having my materials in the bedroom as I feel it cramps the space and looks quite cluttered. I also feel like I should have my own space as my husband has his computer with video games set up in the bedroom and my kids have both their rooms to play. To add on - my kids have both their rooms, the living room, and the backyard to play in. I do not think they need an extra room to keep toys in as all of their toys fit nicely in their rooms. I also feel like keeping their toys mostly separate will stop arguments of who's toy is who's because they will have their own toys in their own rooms. They are also more than welcome to play and watch TV in the living room. I feel like I do need the space to store and keep my materials and have space to myself where I can work undisturbed. My husband is adamant on them having the playroom and keeping my sewing and art supplies in the bedroom. This has been a major point of contention and I really just need to know if this is a terribly unreasonable request. AITA?",AITA for not wanting to give the spare room to my kids?,NTA
10wahmv,"Okay so, Me (21F) & my BF (25M)  have an older neighbor. We live in a pretty decent neighborhood, where not much happens, and you don't hear much bad. We have a neighbor down the way, we'll call him Carl (50M). He comes up often to smoke with us, or just to come up & visit BUT, he's recently let this lady, we'll call her Sarah (50-60F) move in with him. She's an older hippy lady but, here's the thing.​He showed her where our house is *(for whatever unknown reason?)* & now she comes to our house AT LEAST 3 times a week and just walks into our house without knocking. She's even gone as far to walk in on me and my boyfriend while we're having sex & she awkwardly stares at us at our door while we're unsure what to do because we're both naked.. I told her calmly, the first 5 times, to please knock before just waltzing into our house, as me and my boyfriend could be doing ANYTHING, because she's walked in on us once before. She does not care.​So this last time, I yelled at her for it. I felt a little insensitive as she is an older lady but, my gears are absolutely grinded when I'm sitting on the couch & this woman randomly comes up & starts to jingle our doorknob trying to get in. It literally send fire through me. I've started to lock the door now & she still comes up here & aggressively tries to turn our doorknob. I know she's harmless but, I feel like our privacy is being invaded SUPER hard.​I'm from the south. It's not acceptable to be a stranger to someone & just walk into their house without them knowing who you are.​**TBA:** *I have started locking our doors for a bit now :) However she'll still come here & jingle our doorknob aggressively.* **AITA; for yelling at this woman to stop walking into our house without knocking because we do not know her like at all.**",AITA: For yelling at my older neighbor for walking into our house without knocking?,NTA
10w6xqe,"My fiancé (30M) and I (29F) were told by 4 different doctors over the last 2 years that we wouldn't be able to conceive without medical intervention because of a hormonal disorder I have (PCOS). We're getting married in a few months and my current OBGYN suggested we start trying now since ""it won't actually happen for a while"". WELL! We started taking ovulation tests. The first two months I didn't ovulate, as expected. But last month (January) I thought I ovulated but wasn't really sure. This morning we got a faint positive, but a positive nonetheless. I don't know how we managed to conceive our first real try after 4 doctors and I don't even know how many tests said we couldn't. But we did. We obviously know what can go wrong so we're excited but also terrified. Fiancé and I agreed we'd keep it between us and 3 friends we agreed on. One of those friends was my friend ""R"". We've been best friends for 14 years. ""R"" is \*very\* childfree. Which is fine. I would never expect him to babysit or go out of his way to play with my children. But I do expect some decency. If the kid comes up to you and says ""Do you like my picture?"" be nice and say yes kind of vibe. R knows how I feel about children and how upset the PCOS. made me. He knows what PCOS is and what the risks and challenges are. When I told him he said ""Oh? There's still plenty of opportunity for something to go wrong."" and I said ""Yeah...we know...just trying to be excited while we can..."" and he said ""You could just get a puppy."" And I didn't answer. My other best friend ""M"" says IWBTA if I said something to him. She says he's childfree and I can't expect him to ""change"" because I'm having a baby. She also said after all these years of friendship I can't be that caught off guard. I don't think I'm asking I'm to change anything. I'm not expecting him to babysit or change diapers or feed the baby or anything. But a little support? Sympathy? Kindness? I don't think that's asking him to suddenly love children. Technically, sort of, in a way, there's not even a child yet. I'm 12 days past ovulation. I don't even think there's a yolk in the yolk sac at this point. So I'm really asking him to be nice to ME at this point. Although I would like to tell him that when we do have a child, whether that happens from this pregnancy or a different one, he needs to be nice and friendly towards the child. I want to say something like ""Listen, I know you don't want kids and that's fine. But this is crazy and scary and I would appreciate your support and good vibes. Not jokes about miscarrying so I can get a puppy. And then I have the baby I'm not expecting you to babysit or take care of the child, but I am expecting you to treat them like a human being and show them kindness and respect."" Too much? M says I'd be an AH. So is M right? WIBTA for trying to ""change him""?  I really trust M's opinions so I'm second guessing myself.","WIBTA for asking my friend to please stop making ""jokes"" about my baby?",NTA
10wnro8,"**ETA**: I am not a religious person. My son on the other hand identifies as Christian and I support him no matter what. Regarding religious views, I don't care what he believes or does not believe in as long as he's happy. My only problem with his mother is not that she wants to teach him to see things from different perspectives (non religious ways), but how she does it by making fun of him and his faith..I am (30 M) a single parent. My son is 10 years old. Backstory, years ago on a drunken night, I got my (ex) gf pregnant. Abortion was not an option because here it was (and still is) against the law. She gave birth and told me she wasn't ready to be a mom. So she left me and our son. Being a young father in my early 20s was difficult but thankfully I got by.I am not a religious person myself, but after befriending this one kid at school, my son has been going to church since he was 7 and involved in a lot of charity works, which I think is important to instill kindness and goodness in him until he gets older and decides what's best for himself. He identifies as Christian.Last year, my son's mother suddenly contacted me again. She's now married and has 3 children of her own. She said she was sorry and wanted to reconnect. I've always been honest and open with my son about why his mother left. But I also tell him that if one day she wants to reconnect and apologize, he shouldn't hold any grudge against her. People make mistakes. But I will support him no matter what he decides.Now twice a month, he would take the train to a neighbouring city to spend the weekend with his mother and her husband and their kids, who love him so much. We took up where we left off and decided to unofficialy co-parent him Yesterday though, he told me that he didn't really feel like spending the weekend with them anymore. When I asked him why, he told me that they were teasing him for being a Christian. His mother has even told him many times that God does not exist and that being religious means you've been brainwashed to be narrow-minded and stuck in outdated teachings. I could see that it offended him deeply. I rang his mother up and told her everything, instead of saying sorry she started accusing me of brainwashing my son to believe in such nonsense as religion, God, etc. I told her she has no right to criticize something so personal to him. He is who he is, take it or leave it. She said since we are now co-parenting him, she is only going to teach him to see things from different perspectives as to broaden his mind and worldview. I told her no. And if she doesn't stop, he won't be spending time with them ever again. She started crying and calling me a horrible person for taking away her right to mother him. AITA?",AITA for refusing to compromise with my ex on our son's belief?,NTA
10wi3en,"So me (f) and my bf are both 18. He has ADHD, and is quite literally the least organised person you could imagine. When I say he is late for everything, I mean it. Hell, that boy would even be late to his own fckn birthday party. When we need to be somewhere or are meeting, I’ll have to tell him he needs to be there 20-30 minutes earlier than the actual time. His folders for college are a complete mess, he doesn’t file anything and around 2/3000 potentially important sheets and documents are just stored on the flier in the spare room of his house. I worry how he’ll cope in the real world with bills and documents, etc.Anyway, it was my mothers wedding last weekend. He was at myn the night before but needed to go home in the morning to collect his suit. I told him to be at the venue for 11. No later, on the dot. Well, it had got to 11.30, and he’d still not shown up. My mother was literally about to walk down the aisle, and several people were asking me where he was. Just imagine how embarrassing this was. I didn’t receive a text from him, no communication or anything. He ended up arriving at around 11.50, and he’d completely missed the marriage. As you can imagine, I was absolutely raging at him on the inside, but all the family where greeting him and making a fuss of how tall he’d gotten, etc, so I had to contain my anger and just smile on. No one else seemed to be bothered, which seriously irritated me. It’s just selfish in my eyes. After the lunch and before the evening events, everyone had a bit of time in their hotel rooms. (Hotel was on site) When we got back up to that room, I screamed at him. I just yelled about how annoyed and upset I was that he couldn’t even turn up on time to a day so important to me. Unsurprisingly, there was no justifiable reason for his late arrival, apparently he ‘got distracted’. He also looked very hot in his outfit which irked me as I was less happy with how my dress and makeup turned out, and was smirking throughout this whole ordeal while lying on the bed seemingly unbothered, which really pissed me off and was the last straw. So, I said ‘why can’t you just be normal.’ This is when his mood changed. He wasn’t smirking now, he went all subdued and seemed upset. I regret saying this, it’s not his fault he has ADHD, but he hurt my feelings by turning up late, so in that moment I wanted to hurt his. And I think I did. These last few days he’s been downcast and toned down, not like his normal lively self at all. He hasn’t spoken to me about the incident at all though, so I guess maybe he could be upset about something else? I spoke to Mom about the incident as it was her big day after all, and she said I overreacted massively and shouldn’t have said what I did. She told me how she loves his ADHD and how it makes him unique, and now I feel terrible, but I also feel like my anger was justified as he needs to learn to respect people’s time more, especially on an event so important. AITA for how I reacted?",AITA for yelling at my boyfriend with ADHD for being unorganised?,YTA
10wenb8,"I (22m) have been with my girlfriend (32f) for about 6 months now, and at the beginning of our relationship I noticed when making us sandwiches that her pickle jar had what looked like, copious amounts of pepper? Didn’t think much of it till we moved in together a week ago, and there were OREOS IN MY PICKLE JAR!!! I wouldn’t be mad if she had her own separate jar of pickles for this but she’s ruined the household pickles!!! I told her that was disgusting and she literally didn’t think about anybody else who may have wanted a regular damn pickle. She claims it’s ok because I never noticed until I actually saw it. I don’t want soggy Oreos in my pickles and now she’s refusing to speak to me because she says I overreacted by telling her she wasn’t considerate, AITAEdit: to answer some questions, I bought all the groceries, and even told her I’d get an extra jar if she requested, she thinks I’m overreacting since I didn’t notice until I actually SAW the Oreos. As to why she does it, she said she just “likes the sweet, salty, & sour mixture” which I get but like maybe use a Tupperware dish and serve it as you go",AITA Girlfriend keeps taking Oreos and putting them in pickle jar,NTA
10wgf2a,"I (28F) recently invited my (25M) gay friend over for dinner and just general hanging out. We’re both the only out queer people at work so that’s how we became friends. We started talking about literature and books and stuff and I told him I preferred comics, and he asked what kind of comics. I was up front with the kind of comics I liked (Boy’s Love, which is like a genre of comics/books that feature male on male romance and sex, more commonly called yaoi) and he was surprised and asked to see them. I took him to my bedroom where I kept my stuff and showed him.He got really quiet when I started showing him the comics I read, and I asked him what was wrong. He said he thought that I was kind of weird for reading and liking these comics, and that it made him uncomfortable that I had a “fixation” on “toxic and weird gay porn.” I was hurt that he was talking about my interests like this, so I told him I told him BL (Boy’s love) was how I found out I was queer, but he was still uncomfortable, so I just brushed it off and we went back to talking about other things. He’s been kind of distant ever since then, and I’m wondering if he’s just being sensitive or I legitimately fucked up. So, AITA for showing him my BL collection?",AITA for showing my gay friend my comic collection?,YTA
10wnkd0,"I'm currently planning a wedding that will take place next fall. My mom loves buying new dresses, so shortly after we got engaged she started sending me pictures of dresses and asking if she should wear them to the wedding. Truthfully, I was a little annoyed that she wanted to talk about that before anything else. I told her they were all nice choices and that she should probably wait to buy one, since the ceremony is almost 2 years away. Today, while I was in a meeting, she sent me a picture of [this dress](https://dimg.dillards.com/is/image/DillardsZoom/main/mac-duggal-embellished-v-neck-illusion-long-sleeve-gown/00000000_zi_53ab3586-defc-4716-9441-8f7464ae24b0.jpg). When I saw the text, about 30min later, I told her that I really didn't want anyone else at the ceremony to be wearing white or off-white besides me. She said the dress was taupe with other colored accents, and that she'd already bought it a few days ago on clearance. She said she couldn't return it, but that she was worried about not being able to find a dress in time. She also kept insisting that the dress isn't close to off-white. After going back and forth on it a few times, with her saying I was just upset because of the cut (which I personally had no problem with- I even suggested she try to exchange it for the same dress in a different color), I was pretty angry and told her this is a boundary I'm not budging on. She told me I was being rude and unreasonable. Now she's responding to my messages very curtly.",AITA for saying my mom can't wear a Taupe dress to my wedding?,NTA
10wns53,"I pay my ex-wife an agreed upon amount of child support that is well over what the state would require. On top of the child support I cover 100% of health and dental insurance and the kids cell phone bills. My oldest of three just turned 18 and graduated high school.  I approached my ex about reducing the amount as there are only 2 children now as my oldest daughter is an adult. I still cover her insurance, cell phone and she knows I will help her always. But my ex flipped out and now my oldest reached to me to tell me that me wanting to adjust the amount of child support I give hurt her feelings and now my ex will have to charge her rent. Is my ex inappropriately using my daughter against me or am I the asshole?",AITA; ex-wife telling children I don't want to pay for them,NTA
10wjtp6,"I (23F) have a 10 year old niece. She is a super smart and cute kid, definitely my favorite out of nieces and nephews. However recently she said something slightly out of pocket and I feel a little guilty for laughing at it. We were getting ready to go out to dinner and her mother (my sister in law) was commenting on the jeans she was wearing, talking about how they were sagging around her hips and didn't fit her well. My niece has always been a bit bigger and just recently has started cross country and track and she had lost a ton of weight so I wasn't surprised. She simply said back, ""Well have you seen Dad's jeans? Better saggy than faggy"" with a smile on her face. I couldn't help but burst into laughter at this and it took me a minute or so to register the weight of what she said and that it definitely wasn't appropriate for a 10 year old (or anyone really) to be saying. However I laughed for awhile just because of how she said it and also the fact that I know my brother wears jeans wayyyy too tight and it doesn't look great on him. Her mother later talked to her about why that wasn't okay to say and she gets it now but afterwards, she came up to me and started getting angry with me for laughing at her which she said would only encourage the behavior. I just apologized and said it caught me off guard and I more so thought it was funny she was so quick to string along words like that. Her mother got angry and said it should never be funnyedit: yes I did talk to her afterwards as well, I told her it wasn't cool and I only laughed because I was just shocked and that she should absolutely never say that.",AITA for laughing at my niece's use of a slur,YTA
10w88zo,"Okay, this is pretty silly and low stakes. Context, I’m American and my boyfriend is Canadian, and I’m currently visiting him for a month. Obviously I bought myself some food, include cup noodles.So my boyfriend and I are in the kitchen and I say “I’m gonna make some ramen for myself.” as I get the cup noodle out. My boyfriend gave me a really puzzled look, raised his eyebrow and said “… that’s cup noodles, not ramen.”Now, this confused me. In America, the cup noodle brand I buy from is labeled “ramen soup”. I told him this, and we went back and forth for a while. He argued it’s not ramen and that ramen is more specific, has to be of a higher quality and have a certain type of noodle. I laughed, said that I was just going based on packaging. He said “Well, don’t call it something it’s not.”Now, here’s where I could be TA. I told him flat out (and admittedly in a bit of an annoyed tone) that I wouldn’t call it something else, and that it was stupid for him to make that request when it is literally called ramen where I live, and that I don’t care to change what I call foods. He said I overreacted by becoming upset at his request, and the rest of the night was a bit tense.There’s no bitterness about this now as it has been a few days and it has mostly been dropped, but I keep thinking about this and I genuinely want some outside input, lol.",AITA for calling a generic brand of cup noodles ‘ramen’?,NTA
10wo4z1,"Last week I was driving home from a friend's house and at a red light, two women beside me started waving, rolled their window down, and asking where I was going, etc.  I didn't respond, but it admittedly felt good to be the object of their attention.  I told my wife about it thinking it'd be a funny conversation but she was not laughing.  She suggested I liked it and I admitted to her that yes, it was an ego boost but that I had obviously not thought about it any deeper than that.  So now she's mad because I liked it.  I was just being honest about my feelings with her.  AITA?",AITA - I admitted to my wife that two women waving on the highway was an ego boost and now she's mad at me.,NTA
10wc91l,"About a week ago I went out to eat with my MIL, my husband, and my FIL. My MIL is sometimes difficult to carry a conversation with so I always try to find something that interests her to talk about. I know she likes to cook so in an attempt to make conversation, I told her that earlier that day I had roasted AN ENTIRE CHICKEN and did not know what to do with all of it. She asked me about how I cooked it and I told her. Then we went through a run down of how she would have cooked it differently. This conversation lasted about ten minutes, during I didn't say much beyond periodically interjecting with ""Wow that sounds really good, I will try it next time,"" and ""Yeah I am just really overwhelmed by the sheer quantity of chicken in my fridge rn, so I can't really think about the future right now.""Fast forward to the next day. I come home from work, open the fridge, and what do I find next to the piles of chicken I had made the day before? AN ADDITIONAL FULL CATERING SIZED PLATTER OF CHICKEN. LEGS, BREASTS, THIGHS, WINGS....literally POUNDS of chicken. I called my husband over to ask exactly what the fuck was going on and he explained his mother had dropped it off that morning and asked if I wanted to give her a call to thank her for cooking for us, to which I replied ""absolutely not.""This kicked off an argument between him and I where he called me ungrateful and I called him blind to her manipulative antics. I explained to him that just 24 hours prior I had stated to her several times that we already had too much chicken in our home, and she had verbally acknowledged that she understood this, even going so far as to criticize how said chicken was prepared. He countered that I am ""overthinking"" the situation, that it is ""just chicken"" and that his mom cannot do anything right in my eyes. We argued about this for some time and eventually had to agree call off the conversation without coming to a consensus. He is still upset that I refuse to thank her for the carcasses and now feels it will be awkward the next time we see her.we still have not come to a resolution and now I am beginning to wonder, AITA?Just adding a little info for context. This is the same woman who buys me clothes that are visibly too small for anyone under 15 and comments on my weight when they don’t fit, fakes illnesses when my husband has deadlines coming up and doesn’t give her enough attention, comments on my skin tone in comparison with the rest of my family, threatened to cut my husband off a week before our wedding, had me take a cab when I needed a ride to the hospital, and asks me EVERY TIME I SEE HER if im pregnant… so no it’s not just about the chicken lol.More context: the chicken was basically unseasoned",AITA for Not Thanking my MIL for Chicken?,NTA
10wc5yn,"I'm 22f and until last year I've been renting a very shitty 1.5 bedroom space with someone I found on the university bulletin. She made me pay half even though I got only the 0.5. I lived out of my suitcase and used an airbed because it was unfurnished. But she was still the worst part. Her rules:1. No-visitors for me2. 10pm curfew because she's a light sleeper3. Can't use public space because she is OCD 4. 1 day cap on refrigerating food. Even cool drinks. 5. Can't show up around her boyfriend. If I'm inside/outside the house I stay there until he leaves.6. I won't be on the lease. But I thought this was how things worked and let her gaslight meI made amazing friends, though, and usually stayed over at their houses. But one day I came home after a night at my friend's and met her boyfriend. Who had no idea I lived there. He was confused I had a key and when I awkwardly explained things to him he revealed she said she lived alone and was thinking of not renewing her lease to move with him. He was concerned for my living situation. I was pissed. I texted my friends asking if I could crash at their couch for the same rent I'm paying her until I found better boarding. My friends more than welcomed me and I left the same day. Lived out of a suitcase, remember? I dropped the keys with him and told him what she put me through because I kinda owed him. The dude was pissed and he put the key outside her door and left with me. This actually happened early in the morning with her in her room because she, in fact, is not a light sleeper. She texted me later yelling at me for ""breaking the lease and having to pay a fine"" i didn't though, and ""seducing her boyfriend like the slut I am"" also didn't happen but ok. When my friends actually got the whole story they got so mad at me for being the biggest doormat and said I was welcome to stay at any of their much nicer apartments for however long. During my apartment hunting I found several forums for house renting. But I also noticed flatmate was putting up her own ads on them. I don't know why but on these groups with 1000s of people I wrote a message about how horrible a flatmate she was. I said the choice is theirs to make but if they can afford to then they should choose better. I had blocked her at this point so she couldn't even reach out to me to ask me to take it down. My friends know and approve of this but, someone from the forum privately messaged me and said I don't have to be so malicious because this could make her homeless. I said if someone is actually desperate despite hearing what I have to say then it won't matter to them. I have always made it clear that it's their choice entirely and they should know what they're getting themselves into. But now I wonder if maybe I am being too vindictive.",AITA for sabotaging my ex-flatmate's attempts at finding new flatmates.,NTA
10wnymz,"We split the rent, utilities, food, etc. SO turns on the space heater at full power an hour before leaving for an early flight and forgets to turn it off. 8 days later, we come home to a sweltering apartment that fortunately didn't burn down in our absence. I say ""Hey, that was dumb, but shit happens. Let's move on. Though I'd appreciate it if you cover the electricity cost for the time we were away."" SO does not agree. Tension ensues.",AITA for suggesting my SO cover the electricity costs for leaving a space heater running for a whole week?,NTA
10wnavb,"I have a hybrid job that allows me to work from home or go into the office. We recently moved into a new building that has other staff members for other attorneys. One assistant is there 8 hours a day—I assume she does not have the option to work from home.I come and go at different times from her, but I am always polite, if a little awkward. I have my own office upstairs, and I understand this has been her space for quite a long time, but I work for a different attorney who advertised the job as hybrid and has no problem with me working from home. The other assistant has been passive aggressive. I feel bad because she's been doing this a lot longer than I have, but when I entered the game, hybrid work situations became commonplace. I want to create a healthy atmosphere, be as friendly as possible, but I don't feel I need to change my work habits for someone I don't work with.",AITA for choosing to work from home?,NTA
10wmzkq,"My eldest son Travis is 20 and we've started to butt heads ever since he dropped out of college to basically be his mom's/my ex's personal assistant. She basically lives off an inheritance that she got a few years ago.I told my son to his face that I'm disappointed in him and I'm not going to pretend that I'm not. He went back and forth between my house and his mom's but I told him he needed to go stay with his mom if he's not doing anything with his life.That was two months ago and there's been no contact aside from his asking me or my wife if he has any mail. Today, I come home from work and there is Travis playing outside with my three younger sons (his half brothers) who are 12, 10 and 5. I went to get my Nesquik strawberry milk and it was gone. Travis drank my last one. I laughed and he came in. He said ""hey."" I asked why he was over. He said he wanted to see his brothers. I asked if there was anything else and expecting him to say that he also wanted to talk to me. But he didn't so I said ""so are you done seeing them and drinking my strawberry milk?"" He said bye and walked out. I later texted him and said he can't just show up like he lives here. And don't bother telling your mom because I blocked her from contacting me. My wife said I was harsh on him but like I said, he doesn't live here and doesn't get to come and go as he pleases. That's common respect.FYI - he just showed up with gifts for my other sons and my wife thought nothing of letting him in.Edit: He has a long way before he can just show up unannounced and eat my shit like Urkel or Kimmy Gibler.",AITA for asking my son why he's over my house?,YTA
10wk8f9,"Hi, i dont know if this is the right place to ask but i need to know because i feel like made my parents real mad.I was at the system since i can remember, i cant actually remember my birth parents, but im now 15 and about 4 years ago i was adopted by a couple. Was lucky to finally get out of the system and im happy to have a home, my own food, my own room, it came with big changes like i had to convert to catholicism and need to go to church every sunday but they are loving parents.The thing is that i think im gay, i never been interested in girls and was teased for it a lot in the system, but didnt mind, the system made me kinda introverted so i dont fully open up to my parents. Ofc i was too young to really know while in the system but is kinda really waking up on me as a grow older. So in school there is this guy who is very handsome, i had a crush on him and we became friends until months later we decided to try have a secret romance. Introduce each other as best friend and hangout a lot, we have only kissed and cuddle but i really like him. So he was at my home on the weekend, played games but we were kinda tired so rested at my bed together cuddling. My door was locked but my dad opened it with a key i didnt know he had and found us together, he yelled at him and kicked him out of the house and then yelled at me. I cried for hours.Then mom came home and both had a talk with me, they were both very disappointed at me and themselves and forbade me to see my friend again after school, they removed the lock on my door and said would watch me closer so i dont deviate further. They said that if they knew i was gay when adopted me they wouldnt done it and felt scammed by my agency and lied by me.I never meant to make them mad or sad, maybe i should have been more honest to them earlier so we could work this through. aita?​edit: minor mistakes",AITA for not telling my adoptive parents that im gay?,NTA
10wnqyh,"So I (18 m, gay, which will be relevant to the story)  live with my aunt and uncle. My parents are divorced and both live an hour away from where I'm going to school so they generously offered to let me stay with them until I graduate.I recently had surgery and ended up staying with my mom for a few days because she's a nurse and had the week off to help take care of me. When I got back to my uncle's, there was a bag lying in the middle of the bed with my douche, condoms, and lube. (Surprise surprise, I'm a teenager who's sexually active)My uncle confronted me about it and asked me what they were for. I told him he already knew what they were for. He told me he didn't want to see any of that stuff in his house. (To clarify, neither of them have a problem with me being gay. But they were both raised Christian and are big on the whole 'no sex until marriage' thing).I asked him why he was in my room in the first place and he said he was just leaving a package for me on my bed when he ""happened to see that stuff lying around"". I know that's a lie because I keep it inside of a bag inside of a lidded box in the bottom drawer of my nightstand underneath a bunch of papers and stuff.He said it was his house and he's allowed to look wherever he pleases, and that it was very disrespectful of me to try and hide things from him. (If I was actually hiding it from him he wouldn't have found it, e.g. the numerous bottles of alcohol I have hidden but that's not relevant).He then told me he wanted to watch me throw it away, which I did, but I mean I'm just gonna buy more. So AITA for having that stuff in the house where someone could ""accidentally"" find it? Also no, I've never had sex in their house in case anyone asks.",AITA for telling my uncle not to snoop if he doesn't want to find gross shit in my room?,NTA
10wgzpg,"My (30F) fiancé (30M) grew up in a really close neighborhood. His family was especially close to their next-door neighbors. They practically lived in each other’s homes, parented each other’s kids, etc. When I met him, they had drifted apart in a big way but still saw each other 1-2 times a year at town events (his family had moved out of the town but went back for the fair every year). I will say that his family looks up to the other family, but that’s not really reciprocated. His parents speak as if they’re still that close though they rarely see them.My fiancé’s friend (his age), a “child” of this neighboring family, got married a 1.5 years after we met and I was not invited. Since then, they’ve mailed us Christmas cards with only his name on them, invited him to dinner 2 times (but very clearly only him - he said he wasn’t free but would love to do something the four of us at some point), and then did not reach out after that. He hasn’t heard from the parents nor the kid. They also suggested in the early days of our relationship that he could do better, that I wasn’t right for him, etc. Very subtly and “kindly” but then never tried to include me in anything once it was clear we were serious.Now, we are getting married in 2 weeks. It’s been a long process - we’ve been engaged for seven years. We don’t see these people — ever. But his parents and siblings got VERY upset when they found out they weren’t invited. Apparently the mother of the other family reached out to my MIL to express hurt feelings. His family said that they thought it would be like a reunion. They are subtly blaming me for “changing” my fiancé and keep saying how hurtful this is. My fiancé is on my side - we kept the guest list to closest friends and family. But to be honest, I am the one specifically said I wasn’t comfortable having them there after how they treated me. If I changed my mind he would probably include them. The thought of having them there makes me sick but I also don’t want to be the cause of strife in his family. So AITA for not inviting them?Tl:dr; fiancé’s family is upset I’m not inviting their oldest friends to our wedding. AITA?Edited to clarify: I’m not worried about what the other family thinks - I literally never see them, so the main issue is my fiancé’s family. They believe that the other fam can do no wrong and weren’t ever rude or even weird with me. It’s causing his two brothers (who are in the wedding) to say they don’t want to get ready with him morning of.",AITA for not inviting fiancé’s longtime friends to our wedding?,NTA
10w67ng,"I (23F) was asked by my mom to endorse my little sisters loan for cosmetologist school. I told her no, because my credit score is already in hell (high 400s) and I’m having a hard enough time paying my own student loans back. I just moved to my first apartment, and Just secured my first full time job. I’m behind on my own payments like a thousand dollars. And so adding another loan to the picture is terrifying for me. I asked my mom if she asked my little sisters dad if he can endorse, and she said he’s maxed out. I’m not sure what that means but, yes. I asked her if she asked my older brother, who has no loans and a stable income and she just ignored my question. I’m the eldest daughter so a lot of big shit is asked of me by her , and I just don’t feel comfortable doing this. Especially because my mother can be a liar at times. For a while I was sending her the loan payments for my own student loan because i didn’t have my log-in and it turned out she was consistently not actually paying them. I was getting notices from sallie Mae about my loan being behind and not knowing why. Because I was sending her the payments. That taught me early on not to trust her with money, so I’ve been making the payments online myself. Idk I want my little sister to go to school. I just don’t want to endorse this loan for my mom. Am I the asshole for telling her no?",AITA for not endorsing for my mothers parent plus loan?,NTA
10w3hvc,"i’m in high school and there is a special ed kid (i’m not sure what he has, he is very loud, paces back and forth, fights sometimes, panics) i was always very nice even when he told me he was in love with me after i said hi after i walked by him. ever since he literally sees me and just lurches at me and hugs me. i usually just say no thanks i don’t hug because of covid and he doesn’t get it and gets sad but he leaves. today at school, everyone was crowded around and walking to their next class when he comes out of the crowd and just wraps his arms around me and screams hi and i ducked and got out of his hug and walked away and the special ed teacher told him not to hug people  i just feel really awful about that because i might have embarrass him and other people saw and were like AYEE AYE AYE idk i wasn’t at all trying to make a joke out of him i just don’t appreciate that but i feel like i shouldn’t have just ducked and left",AITA for not letting a special ed kid hug me,NTA
10won4j,"My husband and I ended up having an argument today, and now I'm having second thoughts about if I was being unreasonable and truly the asshole in the situation. This afternoon while we were together my husband tells me that he got a new video game for us to play together. I respond cool what game is it? He proceeds to tell me very vague details about the game. Curious to know more I ask him again what game it was. He is willing to say more vague details about the game, not answering any question I ask him. As this proceeds I got more and more frustrated. For some context he has had a history of purposefully not answering questions. They seem to be random. He never is not answering to avoid a certain topic, but because he thinks he is being funny. It has been a problem in the past. And before we got married he agreed that if he is asked something more than two times he will answer it. He was doing well and everything was fine until recently. The past few months he has been doing this again and I've let a lot of it slide not wanting to cause a scene, but today it came to a head and I was really frustrated with him for again refusing to answer. I reminded him of the promise he made back then and that it is important for me to have a partner that I feel I can communicate with. I didn't yell at him but I was quite frustrated and a bit emotional saying this to him. He said that he considered that promise only for important things like me asking him how his day was, and not something so unimportant like this. He is upset now that i got frustrated with him, saying that he was just joking around and it is obvious that I hate his personality. And doesn't want to talk to me about it right now. I can see that he does genuinely feel hurt and I'm wondering if I really fucked up here.Reddit AITA?",AITA for getting frustrated with my husband when he wouldn't tell me the name of the video game he got us?,NTA
10wk0ph,"My wife (32F) and I (38M) will be closing on our first house this Friday. She has worked in animal welfare practically her whole adult life. She's worked at numerous places and had built enough skills, knowledge and ideas in her 15 years in her career, that she just landed her dream job about 6 months ago and she couldn't be happier. The only problem is that it doesn't pay well. Hence the dilemma because of our new house payment.It's animal welfare, it's a soul fulfilling job, not a lucrative one. If you're in it for the money, you're the wrong type of person to be in that field. We both worked at a shelter and that's how we met and eventually got married. She's worked very hard to get to the position she's in now but honestly, she can make just as much money working at Taco Bell, which does bug her.I pay for about... 90% of everything. I don't complain and I'm not trying to be a martyr or looking for praise. It's not a chauvinistic thing either, it's just what fell into our laps. She can cover a few bills but that's it. I make a good living for the both of us but more or less still live paycheck to paycheck. To offset her lack of income, I willingly put in about 60+/- hours a week, up at 4 or 5 am pending on the day. I'm tired but don't complain about having to do it, I love my job.My wife sees this and feels bad and she doesn't feel like she's pulling her weight. I disagree and think she is by doing more parenting than I do, as well as household things. Its a good 70/30 split of household responsibilities, which I feel is a fine offset for her lack of income. I still do things around the house and contribute like shop for groceries, cook or clean or watch the toddler on a weekend so she can go to work but if I'm tired, she tags in and lets me rest, no questions asked. Kinda like paying for ""services"" rendered for lack of a better term.She still doesn't feel good about the situation and wishes to be doing more. She wants to quit her job and get something higher paying, so I can stop doing over time and working all the time and paying for everything. I told her no. She's brought it up several times and I keep telling her no. The reason being is I know how hard she's worked to get this job and it means a lot to her. She's THRIVING and happy and that means more to me than a monetary value. She doesn't see it that way. It does make me feel bad cuz I don't know if me telling her NO, is controlling or not. It sounds like a dick move and I don't know if it's ok for me to put my foot down on this. Am I allowed to make that decision for her? I'd be pretty mad if someone told me I couldn't do something.AITA for not caring about money and refusing to not let her quit her job to help with bills and take the pressure off of me?TLDR: wife landed her dream job after 15+ years and it doesn't pay the bills and she wants to quit and help out with a better paying job and I refuse to let her do itEdit: she loves her job. She doesn't hate it. She sets her own schedule and it allows her to bring our toddler to work if she needs to. She's not unhappy with her choice, just wishes it pays more.",AITA for not letting my wife quit her job?,NAH
10wdhsr,"My boyfriend (M19) and I (F19) have been together for about a year and a half, and I absolutely love him, but some things I just can't overlook anymore is the way that he eats.  It's honestly embarrassing and disgusting because he eats so fast and shovels in large amounts of food, chews with his mouth open, makes loud disgusting smacking sounds, and stuff sometimes will fly everywhere when he eats because of how sloppy he can be.  An example of this was when we were once at a nicer restaurant with my mom, and he was sitting next to me and he got a lot of his food on the side of my face, and it was honestly extremely embarrassing for my mom and I.When we were eating together alone, I once asked him to chew with his mouth closed and he didn't understand what I meant.  After some time passed later, I got annoyed and finally asked him to please eat nicer and stop chewing so loud, eating with his mouth open, and making gross sounds, and he told me that he can't help it because it's a cultural thing and got mad at me.  Although I understand cultural differences when it comes to eating, it still grosses me out and embarrasses me when we're eating and his mouth is like a human vacuum sucking up everything in sight and getting things like sauces on me.  However, I've had several meals with his parents and family members, and none of them eat the way that he does.",AITA for telling my boyfriend that the way he eats is disgusting and embarrasses me?,NTA
10woh16,"My ex broke up with me after nearly 16 years. I worked my ass off for the last 10 years to provide for her and our daughter. She was never a contributing member of the relationship and it's probably best that things ended. But she took my daughter away from me, i gave up multiple opportunities because of her, i am physically and mentally exhausted because of her Now she's been nothing but a royal bitch since she left. I've tried to fix things and get along with her but she's been nothing but a bitch. She's been lying for years about still living at her parents house just so they could qualify for section 8. They've also purchased a home under another family members name just so they could buy a home and still apply for section 8 to help pay down the home. I'm feeling very fucking petty and want to report her and her family for section 8 fraud. I feel like she's ruined my life and now i want revenge. TLDR: AITA for wanting to report my ex and her family to section 8 for revenge after our break up?",AITA for thinking about reporting my ex and her family for lying for years to get section 8?,NTA
10wafkn,"I (34/f) recently had a miscarriage and underwent a D&C for it this past Friday. I was out of the surgical ward within a few hours, and my bf (35/m) who I live with was there with me at the hospital.He usually works a lot (including the weekends), but had said before the procedure that he was taking the weekend off specifically to take care of me and be there while I healed. He wasn’t around much on Saturday—he was running errands/etc. Then on Saturday night, he said that some friends of his were going to a Magic the Gathering tournament the following day and he really wanted to go. He had not brought it up or mentioned it to me before Saturday night. He asked me if it was okay to go, and I begrudgingly said fine. He went the following morning and was gone from like 10:30am until after 5pm, and he didn’t really text me at all to check in. Meanwhile, I spent the entire day alone, uncomfortable, and in tears, mostly dealing with a lot of heavy emotions coming to the surface. I’ve been upset about this for a couple of days now. He thinks I’m being unfair and unreasonable, because I gave him permission to go. While I did give him permission, I did it because: 1. I didn’t realize it meant he’d be gone all day and 2. I felt like just by asking me, he put me in a no-win situation. Either I could say yes or I could say no, but I instantly felt that by saying no, I’d feel like a burden and know that he wished he could be doing something else more fun than being with me. Either way, I feel like it was lousy of him to even ask in the first place, especially given the fact that he made a big to-do about being there. He hasn’t been with me to really any doctor’s appointments in the lead-up to this, but said he would “make it all up” to me by really being by my side during the recovery process. Also, he plays MTG with these dudes like once a week at least, so it’s not like he never gets opportunities to hang with them. Lastly, this pregnancy was unplanned and I’ve been keeping it private from my friends and family, because I haven’t processed my feelings fully and maybe it's a mistake, but I don’t feel ready to share yet. My bf knows this, so by ditching me and being gone all day after he said he’d be there, I was left totally alone navigating the physical (but really, the emotional) after-effects of everything. I didn’t have any backup plans or fun activities planned, or a person to call and keep me company/talk to about it in lieu of him. I feel like my BF should have understood and prioritized being there for me over playing a card game with some buddies for an entire day—a day which he only had free in the first place because he took it off to care for me. But AITA because I technically gave him permission here?","AITA: Had a miscarriage, BF left me alone after",NTA
10woo9i,"My husband (30M) and I (28F) have 11 total nieces and nephews. My husband has two brothers who each have two children. Then I have two older sisters who have 5 kids and 2 kids. I am currently pregnant and starting to rethink family traditions and take finances a lot more seriously. Over the last few years, as the family has kept growing at a rapid pace, I’ve been finding it harder to justify spending so much money on the kids. We have set ourselves a $20 per child budget, but we often go over because it’s actually really hard to find decent quality gifts for $20 or less. We often end up spending $25+. Even if we stuck to the budget, this would mean:Birthdays: 11x $20 = $220 minimumChristmas: 11x $20 = $220 minimumPresents for just kids alone (adult birthdays and Christmas excluded) we are spending anywhere from $440 and up per year. This will only increase as I have more siblings who haven’t begun their families yet. I’m also starting to feel really frustrated by the responses we get from a couple of the older kids who I think expect more. We’ve had complaints about the gifts being boring (it was a $20 lego set). This gets on my nerves and makes me want to not bother buying them anything at all. Especially on my husbands side (his brothers and their partners don’t have any other kids/nieces/nephews) so they only have to buy for 2 extra kids each year. We’ve already had discussions with the adults about cutting back. On my side this has been understood and accepted. But on my husband’s side, we (and especially me, being the more financially careful one when it comes to gifting) really are coming across as absolute grinches. His brothers have told us to not be tight asses and “stop focusing on the money, it’s about the thought” and “it’s not that much money”. I would absolutely love to buy everyone extravagant gifts if I could afford it, but we simply have to be more careful. I find it so unfair that we are judged when they only have 2 children to buy for compared to our 11 (and growing). I adore my nieces and nephews. I want to be fair about it and still buy presents as new nieces and nephews come along, but I’m thinking about stopping once each child reaches a certain age (maybe 10). How do I do that? How I do I tell my husband’s family? And am I / will I be the asshole if I do?",WIBTA if my husband and I stop buying our nieces and nephews birthday and Christmas gifts?,NTA
10wl5a3,"My husband is away Mon, Tue, Wed and I’m home alone with a 20 month old and a 6yo dog. On Thu and Fri I remain the caretaker though my husband is involved in the eves.Our son tends to be clingy with me in most situations, but especially when stressed/sick. I think this is to be expected right now, my husband sees it as something to be corrected. We all got sick this weekend. My husband and I were sick on Sat and Sun, and while on Sat we shared parenting, he zonked out on Sun and I had our son alone. Mon our son wakes up with a high fever and my husband leaves for work. I spend all day, while still completely sick myself, tending to our crying kid.Today, my husband returns to help at 4pm (kid goes to sleep at 7). Husband feeling better. So is our son. I am running a fever, coughing and am destroyed from lack of rest. Instead of helping with our son, husband takes the dog on a 45 min walk. I become frustrated bc, while true - the dog could use the exercise even though we have a yard - it’s me who needs the help! Upon return, I ask husband to take our son. As I go upstairs to nap I hear him crying but I let it be. 30min later, I hear him crying “potty, mama!” (Our son is interested in using the potty and has had some successes, though he panics when it’s happening and he’s not yet done it with his dad). So I go downstairs and check in - in my mind, our son is stressed, and it may make sense for me to be there since I’m his safe person in this new thing. My husband acts annoyed that I’m there and his attitude sticks until son goes to bed. Instead of engaging with our son he starts to check his phone and I feel bad for our kid so I overcompensate on engagement. After, I approach my husband and say that I appreciate it’s important for them to form a bond and that I don’t want to be in the way of it. I explain I came downstairs because our son gets stressed on the potty and i prioritized son’s comfort today. My husband responds that I’m too aggressive and take over too much when he’s with our son, even comparing me to my mother who has boundary issues.  He said my meddling impedes their ability to create a groove and he needs me to back off and give them alone time. I won’t lie, the mother jab hurt, and I snapped at him. I said that the reason I intervene is because 80% of the time he’s taking care of our son he’s on his phone, and I’m stuck around to engage our kid so he isn’t ignored. I also said I felt completely undervalued for taking care of our son while we were both sick. I then left the room. I feel hurt & judged for my parenting by a person who doesn’t nearly put in as much work. I get that my husband has a job that takes him away and that’s not his fault, but I can’t help but resent him for being so inconsiderate today. AITA for invading their alone time today?",AITA and taking away my husband’s ability to bond with his son?,YTA
10wh6yq,"I (34M) am the father to my son (11M) and also have a wife (32F).  A few weeks ago I got a massive opportunity from a big film company in the US but I rejected it for a number of reasons. My family disagrees with me.I received an offer to travel to the US and work with this company completely free of cost due to them seeing some of my previous works in acting and film.Just a few short years ago my sister who I no longer talk to as we got into a heated argument took a similar job at the same location where i would be situated. Her being there makes me extremely reluctant to do work there as I would be working alongside her.My sister is an aggravating woman who is incredibly unbearable to be around and i would not be capable of staying around her for such a long period of time.Another factor which makes me reluctant to go is that I have never left my home country and I certainly have never intended to. I have everything I need here and all my extended family is here as well and I would be devastated to leave them.Here's the problem, this job pays very well and me along with my family would finally make our way up in society after being in poverty for so long.Our family has been living in a run down house with just enough money to survive each week. My wife is a housewife and I work at a construction site only a few miles from our house. This job does not pay well.Moving over to the US would fix all these problems because of the money the company is offering but I am still reluctant to move.After only two weeks of thinking I decided to turn the job down even though of all the benefits. My wife is furious at me and I am currently staying with my parents while she is annoyed at me.My wife being this angry is making me doubt my choices but I still feel strongly that i made the right choice but I am not too sure. Am I the asshole?",AITA for turning down a job that could've saved my family?,YTA
10wqph8,"EDIT: Added paragraphs lolNew account because I don't want to use my own. So I (24f) work as a secretary for a university, basically what we do is help people enroll, transfer or quit, we are in charge of printing their degrees and we also help them with tax support and such: as you can see, it's not a very physically demanding job. The only part that is physically demanding is having to store and retrieve documents, because they're on the second floor and you need to climb stairs.I'll get to the point now: I have a co-worker that I will call Stella, we used to get along well until she got pregnant.First she asked me and my other coworker, Barbara, if it was okay if we stored her documents too so that she wouldn't have to climb the stairs, and we agreed because it was no problem. However since she got pregnant we noticed that she has been slacking off, she refers the students that she's supposed to help to us with the excuse of getting technical errors (regardless of the computer that she's using, hence why I believe that it is an excuse) and it has caused quite a few problems because the waiting times have increased and, obviously, students don't like to see other people cut in front of them. Also, both me and Barbara have seen her use the computer for personal reasons while she supposedly had  technical issues (browsing social media, using Amazon and so on). I wanted to report her to someone who could at least have a professional talk with her, but when I told my co-worker she opposed to it and said that she doesn't need that stress because she's pregnant and we should just wait because she said that she will take maternity leave as soon as she enters the sixth month and someone will come to take her place. So who is right? WIBTA if I reported her anyway?",WIBTA if I reported my pregnant co-worker?,NTA
10wb61d,"So this is my first time hosting a birthday party for one of my children since my wife has passed away. I'll admit I have in the past let my wife do most of the planning for these types of events as well handle as playdates, so I'm not the most experienced dealing with kid drama. All the kids here are 8-9 years old.Anyway at school pickup the other day I was talking with the mother of one of my son's friends (Ellie). She had asked if my neighbors child (Adam) was invited to the party. I'm like ""oh, shit"" I probably should since he lives right next door. This is a whole other story, but I sort of fudged up the invites. Thankfully my son's friends parents helped me out. So I was thinking that Ellie's mom was reminding me, but then she told me that Ellie and Adam don't get along and she is not comfortable with her daughter being around Adam. I tried to ask what happened. She only said that she didn't want to get into it and just asked to let her know when I find out if Adam is coming.So, basically it sound like she's not going to let Ellie come to the party if Adam comes to the party. While my son and Adam do play together sometimes afterschool, Ellie is one of my son's closest friends. They have a little trio friend group along with another kid and those three are always together. I know without a doubt that my son would want Ellie to come to his party rather than Adam.That's said I feel like its created a sort of awkward situation with my neighbor. Adam and his family live right next door so obviously he's going to hear a party going on. If he goes to the second floor of his house he could easily look down into the back yard and see the party going on with some of his other classmates. So it seems pretty obvious he's going to feel left out and make things in the neighborhood tense. I really don't have the time or money to find somewhere else to have the party either and I'm kind of at a loss on what to do. Although I am leaning towards not inviting Adam because I just know my son will be so disappointed if Ellie isn't there.",AITA for not inviting neighbor's son to my son's birthday party,NTA
10wqdoi,"I [19F] lashed out on male friend [21M] while drunk…Some background. I am a 19 year old. I have not been drinking long really since I’ve been to college but I have been noticing a trend… I notice the i get extremely angry when I drink. Especially towards men… This is even true when I’m black out drunk, even when I have no memory… So yesterday me and some friends were drinking and I don’t remember much because I blacked out. We wake up the next morning and I noticed one of my guy friends had left. I asked my friends what happened and they said that I cussed him out and went on a screaming rant about how much I hate men and how I wish they were gone. They said it was so bad that my friend decided to leave, and he still has not spoke to me..I do not blame him at all, and it is extremely scary that I have such hateful views even when I’m blackout. But there isn’t much I can do…Am I the asshole in this situation?  My friends all know I do have a disdain for men so I don’t think it’s so terrible that it came out when I’m drunk.. I see being concerned but I feel like it’s wrong to act like I’m a bad person…",AITA for being rude to my friend while I was drunk?,YTA
10woi0b,"My (34) boyfriend (30) of 5 years is a very passionate eater. He engulfs his food, chomping, lip smacking, inhaling air mid-bite and making pleasurable moaning sounds as he demolishes his dinner plate like a beast. (on the plus side he is also a fantastic lover :)Overall we're quite bonded, share core values and have a solid relationship. Now, that being said, we're deadlocked and might burn it all down over an absurdly mundane thing.Since quitting the Juul, he uses nicotine gum. The issue is not the gum, but that he likes to chew 2 at one time.His food normal eating noises are super intense, but I let it go because, well.. I understand he's just literally existing. The ""double gumming"" however, is giving truly rancid vibes.The 2 gums create this gnarling, fiendish effect and even a white foam film around his mouth from the coating. It's fully revolting to me and makes my skin crawl. I've asked him to stop chewing 2 pieces at once when he's close to me, but he still does it.What follows is a miserable, cartoonishly escalated cycle of events. When I hear the double-gum, I'm immediately grossed out, pissed off, and feel totally disrespected because he knows how much it bothers me. Every ounce of attraction I feel toward him evaporates into the ether in that moment. He reacts with eye roll, groan, mutter of obscenities, takes the gum out.For background: His anger style is more like a brief burst of toxic shit mouth + bull-in-a-china shop antics, which he can shrug off and be back to normal moments later.My style is more like a slow, unrelenting mustard gas of melancholy and judgment that seeps into every pore of his being.I need a cool-down period of a few hours for the ick to subside before I would be open to sex or intimacy. He always pushes this. Then this pressure behavior turns me off even more. Then he feels rejected, unloved, lashes out. I shut down, withdraw, stew. The other day we really got into it, and I asked him to leave.  We haven't spoken in 3 days. I feel like I may be TA because I'm taking a really hard line on something so small. Do not chew 2 gums around me, or do not be around me.  At this point, I worry the gum has become symbolic of something bigger in our relationship.  He's framing this as though I'm relentlessly oppressing an aspect of his personal autonomy.  I feel like downshifting to one gum at a time would be a very small act of courtesy on his part that would make a huge difference for me.  A lot of this seems like your garden variety gaslighting tantrum of a man not getting laid. Yet I'm starting wonder if I have a clinical issue why this sound bothers me so much.  Could it be even be psychosomatic? I miss him, but on the other hand since not seeing him for a few days I do feel oddly calm without the the soundtrack of chewing.",AITA kicking my bf out of my house over obnoxious chewing,NTA
10wi2hp,My sister and I are a few year apart in age and we Tend butt heads a lot none the less were pretty close give or take.  I graduated high school when I was 15 (yes I skipped 3 grade levels) and I got admitted to my dream university and again I’m graduating early (in august) with my B.S in neurobiology. When I graduated high school my parents had planned a big graduation party for me that was supposed to be at a venue be catered and have a DJ the whole 9 usages basically. 4 months before said party my sister gets engaged and my parents made me give her my venue and all of the things we had planned for me. I’m a little salty about it but none the less I was happy for her and besides my parents paid for everything and they had every right to give it to whoever they wanted. The following year my parents planned a sweet 16 for me which was once again called off because my sister’s wedding was close to my birthday. Again I let it go. Now I have planned a party for myself fully paid for by me with the exception of the DJ as my dad offered to pay for that I didn’t ask he offered I planned it for spring break weekend and I have lots of people coming into town for this party. I’ve spend around 5k but it’s something I’ve really wanted and I’ve accomplished something I’m beyond proud of . My sister is also graduating college this year so she calls and asks if I can share my party with her. I said no I worked so hard to be were I’m at right now picked up extra shifts to be Abel to afford it and worked my ass off to prove myself. I know it seems selfish but I really just want to highlight my accomplishments. She gets upset over my answer and calls my parents to complain which in turn call me and go the hell off about how inconsiderate and selfish I am. AITAH? Btw sorry for any grammar or spelling errors I’m really upset right now.,AITAH for not wanting to share my graduation party with my sister,NTA
10w7655,"A week ago my mom (64) and I (24 F) got into a fight about something small but then the built up years of her criticisms came into my mind and I yelled at her. Everyday she criticizes everyone in the house for something. (Not making enough money, turning the heat too high, staying out late, etc) I yelled that how come I can never do anything right, how she says I mess everything up all the time and if she’s just gonna keep yelling and complaining I don’t want to hear it. Then she packed her bags and ran away. Texted my family that because we yelled we don’t love her anymore. How she’s homeless now and it’s basically our fault. On one hand I think she’s over reacting but on the other I feel guilty because I shouldn’t have raised my voice. Some of her words have stuck like when we said your mom never left you why are you running away. And she replied well I was a good daughter that why my mom never left you don’t respect me that’s why I left.",AITA for making my mom run away?,NTA
10wq8uv,"My roommate wastes a ton of food. When he goes food shopping, he often buys vegetables and fruits in bulk but 90% of the time, there would be about 1/4th left in the bag that he'd toss away because he replaces them with new bulk items. He would often throw away perfectly good food such as:* Onions* Ripened Bananas* Day Old Rice* Nuts* Dates* Half Cut Avocados* TomatoesI've asked him if I could have these ingredients instead of him tossing it away. He responds saying it's his food and he has every right to toss them. I tried to reason with him but he seems to stick to a legal perspective, not realizing that there are poor people around the world who would kill to have his leftovers.I figured that if he threw out his food, it's fair game. So whenever he throws food out, I take them out of the trash, clean them, and use them. He caught me and said I was an absolute jerk for not letting his thrown away food alone. As a result, he began taking his own trash out himself.Reddit, is he an unempathetic, unreasonable asshole or am I really the one not realizing how much of an asshole I am?",AITA for using food that my roommate throws away?,NTA
10wpfbn,"I 28m and my fiancee 28f just celebrated 10 years together. We have 2 beautiful and smart children a house together life is absolutely wonderful. But despite having that long of a relationship I still have difficulty telling her things that bother me. Sometimes I just don't want to cause a fight or I feel like I can just get over it so I don't say things much. We were deep in a talk about other things that have been bothering me and they were rough conversations to have.  I told her that I've thought about this recently and I had a hard time finding the words so I was just gonna come out and say it then give my reasoning. So I told her, ""I think you should lose some weight"" I'm 5'10 I work out and have a physical job. She's 5'4 and weighs more than I do. It's not a sexual attraction problem, quite the opposite. She regularly turns down my advances at spicy time and sometimes dies other things to help me relieve myself. There's just a lot of health issues in my family. I grew up with my grandma who has diabetes and I saw the hell that can bring onto someone. My dad had it before he died at a young age due to not taking care of his diabetes and drug abuse, the latter not being a problem for my fiancee. My grandpa has many health issues that are self inflicted due to him not taking care of himself either. I really emphasized that I was concerned about potential health issues if she didn't take care of herself, I repeated about a dozen or so times that it's about her health and nothing more. I told her that I think it's a better idea to tackle this now while she's outside of 30 than to wait 7 years and find out she pre diabetic at 35. I did t give her an ultimatum I didn't use the word fat or obese or anything. I really emphasized it was about her potential health issues in the future and nothing more. She told me that her family doesn't have those health issues, maybe they aren't hereditary for her but the can develop over time.I slept in our guest room for 5 days after this before she said she was fine with me sleeping in our bed together again. She tells me I fucked up bad and damaged her by saying that. She wants me to apologize for saying it. But I'm not sorry and I told her that.We've been together for 10 years and I should be able to tell these types of things to my fiancee and mother of my children.She's been distant and cold since, she barely talks to me, barely does anything around the house except the bare minimum with our kids. I know she's mad and she's hurt, believe it or not I do understand that. And I don't expect things to just go back to normal after a week of this. This is going to take time to get better but to me it feels like I blew up 10 years by telling her the truth. I don't feel sorry for being honest. I don't feel guilty for her getting upset. I'm honestly kind of mad at the way she's acting but I don't know. Am I the asshole?",AITA for telling my fiancee I think she should lose weight?,YTA
10waz2a,"Me (M23) and my sister (F16) live with our parents. For a few months now, there has been some work done on the street and they have removed the street lights so in the morning and evening it is really dark.My sister takes the bus in the morning to go to school but she is afraid to go to the bus stop when it is dark (6-7 min walk). My dad used to drop her off when she started at 8am and pick her up when she finished at 6pm lately for this, twice a week on Wednesdays and Fridays.However my dad's brother (our uncle) died a month ago so my dad is grieving and is struggling with his sleep so a few times told my sister he was too tired and to ask me if I could do it. Having finished my exams a month ago after a very difficult semester, I'm on ""vacation"" and I take advantage of it to go out often with my friends and play some video games. Since my sister asked me several times to drop her off (she asks my father then asks me if he can't), I accepted each time including after nightouts with friends (so I had little sleep time and I struggle to have nap). It bothered me a little bit but hey it's family. I also woke up early a few times for family meeting with my dad and his siblings (our uncles/aunt) about our Kate's uncle funeral Last week she asked me again because my dad couldn't, I didn't feel like it, I tried to reassure her so she wouldn't be afraid to walk to the bus stop, (some houses have lanterns on the road), she got mad and said she was really scared and begged me to help her, I ended up refusing because I was really tired at the time and I wanted to sleep in.She ended up taking the bus that day and she was mad at me, I felt a little guilty. I discussed it with my dad and he understands my POV and doesn't blame me.The same day my older brother (M25) came by the house, my sister was there and we started to discuss the situation, at first my brother was on my side then my sister when explaining her point of view broke down in tears saying that she was really scared this morning and didn't feel safe in those streets without lights. Later my brother told me that even if it was annoying for me, I should make the effort for her. A friend also told me the same. Last Friday, Dad dropped her off. Tomorrow he can't, so my sister asked me. I had a party yesterday and I am exhausted.. I'm really thinking about declining. AITA?Edit :Thanks for the feedback!I understand and accept the critics. After reading the comments, I realize that my attitude might not have been the best so I will act on it.I apologized to my sis and told her that I will drive her to school as long as she is uncomfortable. She was happy and thanked me",AITA for not wanting to drop my sister off at school in the morning?,YTA
10wob0m,"A couple of weeks ago my friend invited me to join her and her family at a timeshare rental that she booked pretty close to both our homes. She said that she was selling that timeshare and trying to use up the points on her account and said that it would be great if we could come along. We spent a lot of time talking about the trip over the next few weeks and I agreed to bring a dessert for her mom’s birthday and discussed plans. We ended up going for 2 days and hung out with her family at the timeshare and went wine tasting. We brought a lot of the food for the meals (breakfast, lunch, dinner, and dessert) including backyard eggs at their request. We paid our way for all of the activities except one place where my fiend and I agreed that she would put my charge in her card and I would pay her through Venmo because it was mutually beneficial. The place we stayed at was a three bedroom unit that had been booked for 4 nights. She had made it sound like our invitiation was purely social and that she was just exited to share her last stay with people before she sold the timeshare. We stayed for 2 nights in the third bedroom which was far less impressive than the other two, and had two twin  beds and a bathroom that doubled as the “public” bathroom in the unit. During the stay another friend was also offered the option of sleeping in our room but chose not to. Today I called to confirm that she had received the money I had sent to repay her for the single charge. She then brought up “settling up” on the rest of the weekend. I was really apprised by this because there had been no previous mention of any other costs. She suggested that we should pay 1/3 of her annual timeshare maintenance fees which she said would total 550 for us. She acknowledged that she had not brought up anything about this previously and that we could table the discussion for now. I talked to my partner and we are pretty upset about the situation. We make significantly less money than my friend, and never would have agreed to stay for the weekend if we had known she intended to charge us for the room, let alone over 270 a night. We also feel like even if we were to pay, we should equitably pay less than 1/3 since we had by far the least nice room and only stayed 2 of 4 days. It also seemed like a situation where she had already booked the unit before inviting us, so she had committed to using her points before we ever agreed to go, and therefore our addition didn’t “cost” her more than she had already intended to spend. I’m really upset that my friend failed to mention her expectation that we pay for her unit and would have never joined her had I known. Would I be the asshole if I explain some of my feelings of frustration and being blindsided with a huge bill after the trip and tell her I won’t be paying?",WIBTAH if I didn’t pay my friend back for a weekend trip.,NTA
10wff8d,"I got a new phone with a new number a few years ago. For the first few months I had it, I would receive multiple texts a day from random numbers. I would just block the numbers and delete the texts because it seemed like a lot of work to respond to them all and tell them they had the wrong number. The texts eventually died down to one or two every few months or so.Fast forward to today, I get another random text saying RIP. This is where I put things together and realized the last owner of my phone number passed away. I said “Sorry about ur friend dude but this is my number now and I’d appreciate if u didn’t text me” and [posted a few screenshots on Reddit.](https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/10wc4gl/the_last_person_to_have_my_phone_number_died_and/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) Immediately comments start flying in calling me an inconsiderate twat for not respecting the dead, even though all I did was ask them to stop texting me. I even said sorry about their friend.So Reddit, am I in the wrong here?",AITA for responding to text messages sent to the deceased previous owner of my phone number?,NTA
10wg5zn,"Our daughter (my step daughter) has talked with her school counselor about joining group therapy during school to help with her anxiety. The counselor emailed me notifying me of her interest in the group as it required permission from a parent to participate. I was a little confused as to why my husband wasn’t included in the email. I mentioned the email to my husband, and instantly he was irritated because he feels that she’s just “trying to be a part of something”, and feels that her bio mom may have put her up to it. This evening my husband asked our daughter about the group and why she wanted to join. She mentioned having anxiety. He asked her how she knows she has anxiety. She struggled to explain, but mentioned scenarios in which her anxiety would be triggered. She also stated how when he took her for her annual physical she mentioned her anxiety to her Doctor and stated that at that time her dad denied she had anxiety and basically brushed it off as her being dramatic. I reminded my husband that he as well as his mother have anxiety and that it’s not inconceivable to think that she too (our daughter) could have it. My husband started explaining how there are certain situations that sometimes make him feel anxious, how he self regulates and how he doesn’t need someone or a group to help him.At that time I mentioned how my husband sees a therapist who has given him strategies to cope and better self regulate. My husband became agitated, denied seeing a therapist and got up and walked away. After a few minutes I went to my husband and apologized as I could see that he was upset by my last statement. He was still upset and basically said that he wasn’t ready to have that conversation with his daughter and that he now has to have an uncomfortable conversation with the children that he’s not prepared to have. I completely understand and agree that it was not my place to speak on his therapy, but I also don’t understand why he wasn’t open with his daughter in that moment as it seemed like an opportune time to to do so.I felt like he was being a hypocrite by discouraging her from participating in this group and invalidating what she’s going through while he himself sees a therapist.",AITA for mentioning my husbands therapy to our daughter when she was talking with us about her personal anxiety?,NTA
10wd8r2,"  So I (F53) love to travel and I take many trips with two close friends (F 57 and F 59). Recently on a beach trip, I caught one of them taking what was possibly the most unflattering picture of me I have ever seen. She was sheepish and surprised when I badgered her into finally showing me the picture. It was such a horrible picture that I almost cried.As it turns out, my other friend does it too. I’ve even caught them laughing at bad pictures of me behind my back. To the best of my knowledge, they are not posting these pictures on social media, or showing them to other people. However, that doesn’t make it any less painful.Further they say, “they’re cute memories of fun trips,” however if that were the case, then why don’t they share the pictures with me? Why don’t they also take bad pictures of each other? Why don’t they also take good pictures of me when I’m dolled up for a night on the town?Now because of the pandemic, I’m at the heaviest I have ever been and can barely stand to see pictures of me when I’m looking straight at the camera, smiling and posing. I’m not a vain person, but I can’t for the life of me figure out why two friends who know I’m feeling extremely self-conscious about my looks would take the most unflattering pictures of me to ever exist. It feels very mean-spirited.I’m wondering if I’m being too sensitive and AITA for confronting them about it. I wanted to discuss it with them face-to-face, like adults, but when I tried that with one of the friends, she became very angry, got up and bolted out of the restaurant.",AITA for confronting my friends for taking VERY unflattering pictures of me without my knowledge?,NTA
10whg3l,"I (22f) have multiple mental health issues, and developing health issues. My mental health issues prevent me from living on my own or getting a job, meaning I get a disability check every month. (I don't feel comfortable saying what my issues are). The check I get is used for bills, and half the time I only get $100 out of it. The other half i get nothing, but I dont mind because it helps my mom. Her boyfriend contributes no money at all. Now my mom (59) has a physical disability along with mental health issues, meaning she gets a disability check as well. When our checks are combined and the bills are paid we end up having barely anything left. We aren't exactly in debt but we're pretty much scraping the bottom of the barrel constantly. She has asked her boyfriend to get a job almost every day for the past 2 years. He constantly says he is looking or he's trying but he's not. He sits in bed or plays his guitar in our basement, and goes to hang out with his friends. I see him as nothing more than a freeloader. There's a lot more previous conflict that is too long to mention, but her boyfriend has a lot of problems. Recently there was a loss in my family, and i had a really really bad break down which doesn't happen often. So when my mom witnessed the breakdown she said i need to write how i feel down on a paper to get it out and I'll feel better. So i did. I wrote a very long note about how and why i hated her boyfriend. I admit i wrote a lot of bad stuff in there but i wasn't ever gonna give him the note! It was just to get it off my chest, because I am not in therapy since the place i orginally had therapy in changed. So we are trying to find a therapy place close by, because we don't have a car. Anyways I hid the note in MY STUFF Anyways, i wrote a really really long and detailed and mean note on why i hate him. I have no problem admitting there was really fucked up stuff in that note, but i literally NEVER intended to give it to him. I put it in my dresser. MY DRESSER. So the other day when me and my mom got back from shopping (my aunt drove us), her boyfriend looked extremely upset. When i was out of the room he approached my mom and told her that he didn't understand why i hate him and why i feel that way. MEANING he went through my shit and found the note because i did NOT leave it OUT. It was literally in my dresser so the only way he would have gotten it was to go through my shit. Anyways he's been super upset with me the past few days and my mom has asked me to apologize multiple times but i refuse. The only reason why i refuse is because i never intended to give him the note. He went through my shit and found it. So i think he deserves to read all that since he wants to go through MY BELONGINGS. Anyways my grandma is on my side, my mom is in the middle, and my cousins are both in the middle. I feel like he deserved to read it if he was just gonna go through my personally owned items when we weren't home.",AITA for upsetting my mom's boyfriend?,NTA
10wk6bd,"I got married a year and a half ago. My family tends to be stuffy and traditional about gender and children's roles. My husband's family is very family and kid oriented. He has 16 neices and nephews, and I love all of the kids!We decided to make our wedding reception kid and pup friendly. It  was outdoors at a lake so easy to do. (Our ceremony was fairly laid back, performed by my best friend who's an openly gay pagan priest, with his husband as our official witness to sign our marriage certificate.) Anyway, we set up giant jenga, a goofy photo booth, ring toss, corn hole boards, and a board game table for the kids. We also had a bubble tea and ice cream station thanks to some extension cords from the lodge lol. For the pups, we had treat puzzles, toys, pup dance off, a little obstacle course and plenty of food and water. We did food buffet style to give everyone options on what to eat.I thought everything went great and everyone had a blast. Most of my family stayed part of the reception to eat but left after, saying it was a long drive home, which it is. Now, I'm hearing from some of my cousins that I actually talk to that people left because my reception was a huge disappointment and they were embarrassed by it because that's not how I was raised. That I was cheap and tacky to not have catered meals and it was in poor taste to not serve alcohol and allow kids and pups there. And they all regretted attending and feel my reception was disrespectful to what it should have been.AITA?",AITA wedding reception,NTA
10wqn48,"I am M(15) and my friend, Forrester is M(15). Recently, we were having a small talk about video games and life, when he suddenly mentioned about his Religion. Being curious, I was keen to know more about it, and I asked him what it was about. He then proceeded to tell me about it, and halfway through the conversation, he mentioned to me that he knows the way to heaven…and that I will not be able to go to heaven, unless I joined his religion. Hearing this, I was quite frustrated and asked him what he meant by that. He then proceeds to tell me how his religion, “The Way” was FAR MORE superior than any other religion, he then says how all religions are true to a certain degree whereas his religion is the whole truth. I was pretty pissed because who was he to determine what happens to me after death. And the way he proclaimed how “The Way” was apparently more superior was about to make me explode. I told him not to bother how my religion works and to mind his own business.He suddenly got all defensive and said how I will never go to heaven, and that I will forever be stuck in hell. This is ridiculous and probably some kind of a prank. AITA for being mad at him?Edit: The religion he claims to be in is “The Way”And I didn’t draw him into speaking about religions, he brought it up at his own will",AITA My friend said my religion was inferior to his,NTA
10wnmn3,"I (19 M) am taking a course where we work in groups both in lecture and our lab. The professor is very strict about cheating, especially when we’re working with other people (ie use your own words). I make sure to be extra careful about that since I almost got in trouble last semester for being in a groupme where people shared the quiz answers (the TA was in the chat and reported the whole chat for cheating). I’m in a group of 3, me and my friend do the work while our other group mate just sits there. He never takes notes and always asks what we’re supposed to be doing. At first I tried to help because it genuinely sounded like he needed help, though after last week I think he just wants to use us for the notes. Every Wednesday we have a quiz due at 11:55pm, and around 9pm he asked me for the answers. I said no but I could help him understand the material outside of class. He just said “okay”. Then in lab the following day, he would wait for me and my friend to fill out data. Never once did he ask for help to understand the material.I was fed up and finally emailed my professor that our one group mate wasn’t pulling his weight. I explained that he never did the work and just waited for us to compare answers so he could copy it down in his own words. I only left out the part about him wanting the quiz answers. Last Monday my professor got back to me to let me know he will be speaking with the group mate. I ended up telling my friend who then called me an asshole as our group mate could get in trouble. They said that even though the slacking wasn’t good, he doesn’t deserve to get punished. Now I’m wondering if I was just being petty or if I did the right thing.",AITA For reporting a groupmate,NTA
10wdbkr,"I am an artist who makes their living off of the crafts I make. I recently made a piece that took me forever to figure out and someone commented asking how I did it. I explained to them that I went through a lot of trial and error but didn’t feel comfortable sharing the process at this time because it’s how I make ends meet right now. Cue the storm. Apparently what I said was rude and uncalled for. They proceeded to tell me they suffer from depression and anxiety, and no one will buy their art. They explained that they lost their job and art is how they make a living too. It continues with more guilt tripping and telling me that people like Bob Ross would never have kept his skills hidden. They made the assumption that I was accusing them of wanting to steal and that I should have assessed the situation better. They end it by telling me I lost a customer and a follower because of this. All I said was that “I don’t feel comfortable sharing my process at this time. It’s how I make ends meet”. I don’t feel like I am required to explain myself or my work. No one is entitled to that info, I don’t think. Years ago, I was told no by many artists too. All for the same reasons. They too had people steal ideas and start marketing them. Over the years, I just figured things out on my own. Am I the asshole for thinking this way?",AITA for not wanting to explain my artistic process?,NTA
10wg58d,"Very straight forward. The power in our old house was in my name. When i moved out back in November, i informed him that I was removing my name from the utilities so i wouldn't be held responsible for them in the future. This was just to protect myself. It was like pulling teeth to get him to change it out because i wanted it to be a seamless transition since we share a child and i didn't want her going without power. We finally got something sorted out and he told me to let him know when i submitted my disconnect. I submitted the disconnect request on a Friday for the following Monday back in January. I thought I texted him, that was my bad i didn't text him. But i did call him for something unrelated, and he asked about it. So i told him then. I said i submitted it today for Monday so you have until then to request service and it will be a seamless transition. Whelp....he forgot. He called me today in a whole panic spazzing and cussing around our kid asking why the power was off and why didn't I tell him and so on so so forth. I informed him that i did tell him and he was aware. Unfortunately i just didn't have text proof of the incident (already aware that this is a bought lesson on that so please leave that be). So AITA for not following up with him about the power swap after that weekend?",AITA for not reminding my ex-husband that I took the power out of my name?,NTA
10worn3,"I’ve been with my wife for a few years. She’s a very generous and kind person. I consider myself lucky to be with her.She was a social worker for five years, but I encouraged her to quit and transition either to a different social worker job or to a whole new career path because her administrators were very toxic. She decided to take a different career path and entered a boot camp to jump start the transition. I was and am ultimately happy to help fund the boot camp and bridge the loss of income during the switch. This required that I work overtime very often and often late into the night.While doing her boot camp, I could tell she was getting lonely due to lack of time spent with peers. She’s always been passionate about our public library, so I encouraged her to spend time volunteering when she asked about it so she could spend time with good friends. She also has always been passionate about giving back to the community and another volunteer role came up and I really couldn’t help but agree to have her accept the role as well. She has a very niche interest and the role was perfect for her.Since then, I can’t help but feel like she isn’t trying as hard at her boot camp. It is a significant investment of our savings and I’m fine with that, but it’s more that she knows that I need her to get a job ASAP so I can lighten my work load. Since the beginning, we agreed that the goal was for her to get a job as soon as possible. Before taking on both roles, we agreed she would still prioritize the bootcamp and get a job ASAP.But the thing is, I always run into her spending time on those other roles at home. She has always been hard working. I would never doubt that. But she seems to be spending too much time on her volunteer roles and not enough on her bootcamp.The bootcamp was designed to be finished in ten months with 20-25 hours of work a week. We agreed before the start of bootcamp that she would consider the bootcamp her full time job. We’re going on month twelve and she needs a few more months to finish, let alone getting a new job.I’ve tried to bring this topic up multiple times, but she always gets upset at me. She tells me I don’t understand the process and I admit that I don’t. When I refer to the recommended amount of time needed to finish the bootcamp according to the company that designed it, she says they’re lying. I can’t help but feel used here. But tell it to me straight. I will take your opinion to heart and take appropriate steps forward. AITA?",AITA for not supporting my wife the way she wants to be during her career transition?,NTA
10wl1vt,"I struggle to have my food delivered to my door by Uber eats and doordash. I live in a giant building with 5 entrances. No matter how specific I make the instructions, they usually leave my food at a random door.Normally, not a problem. Slight annoyances happen when I pay someone to do something I'm too lazy to do. However, I'm a single mom to a newborn. Usually when I order food, he's sleeping. In order to go find my food at a random door, I have to wake him up. Or leave him alone? Which seems pretty negligent. Two times this week, I haven't been able to get my food. I've been on the phone begging them to bring it to the door, but they just say they don't know how. It even says in the delivery instructions that I cannot get my food if it's not at my door. EDIT: like obviously, the solution is to get my own food and never order doordash again. But then I'd have to instacart and I don't even want to think about trying to find bags of groceries at a random entrance. A single meal is a price point that I can afford to go missing, grocery shopping is not. In that way, I am giving slack because I know it might not reach me. The bigger context is that I was in a psych program with my baby until a few days ago and I don't have any food at home. Or access to a car or public transport. Or people to bring me stuff. Like yeah, all of our lives suck. Delivery drivers don't make enough. Most people don't have the same stakes that I do when they get food delivered. I didn't include that in my initial post, because I don't think it should make a difference if I'm a brat who won't eat the beans in her cabinet, or someone who is in my situation. AITA for asking too much of delivery drivers? There are no COVID laws in my area about delivering in apartment buildings.",AITA asking for door delivery,NTA
10wbm3j,"I know this may sound incredibly childish but I genuinely need to know if I am the AH and will accept my judgement if I am.To start off I (F) have a phobia to dogs. I don't care how cute your dogs are, how nice they are ect. I am terrified of dogs and have had people in the past try and force me to get over my fear. However, I won't go out on a limb and insult dogs as the world does not revolve around my fears and I am generally okay around dogs and won't scream and cry as long as they stay away from me. Onto the story:I was walking home and on my way home i had encountered two people walking their dogs barely holding the leash. I didn't think much of it at first and tried my best to stay away. This is where I may be the AH. One of the dogs had started to come closer to me to try and sniff me. I kept moving away and continue walking home but the dog kept trying to sniff me and I had started to form tears in my eyes as the dog kept trying to sniff me. The owners had noticed my tears and started to get annoyed saying that their dogs are harmless and to stop crying and grow up. Eventually one of the owners had pulled their dog back and I was able to walk home but not without out them calling me an immature b*tch and an entitled brat who thinks the world revolves around them. Even when I was telling this story back to a friend, she said that the owners were right and that I acted entitled and that its not like the dogs attacked me and that my fear was ridiculous in this situation. So AITA?",AITA for backing away from a dog that was trying to sniff me,NTA
10wntey,"So me and my boyfriend have been dating for a while now, about 4 months. We’ve known each other for about 14 years. I’m from another country, and he’s English. He moved to my country 14 years ago and we met at school, and our parents became friends because we were neighbours. We got back in touch a little bit after I finished Uni and he was finishing up med school, as I was moving to the UK town he was studying and soon working. That was just for context, sorry for the long story. Basically, we were never close as friends or anything but when I moved here he helped me acclimatise and move in, and we got close, eventually dating. Fast forward a bit and I have a couple different friend circles, and one night I mentioned my bf met my work friends, and my friends wanted me to bring my bf for dinner so they could “meet the guy I'm mental about”. The other person involved in this story is Sal. For context, Sal is normally very sweet and sociable, but a thing I’ve noticed after this is that she complains about dating boys a decent bit and in the time I’ve known her, she hasn’t had a boyfriend/girlfriend. I’ve never noticed that about her before btw. So we all meet up at dinner, and we’re chatting and going about it as per usual, with my friends focusing the convos on me and my bf for the night, as this was their first time meeting him. Me and my bf were sitting next to each other in a group of 7, including us, and we were quite close to each other, shoulders touching and we were holding hands. I was getting a bit of a weird feeling from Sal the whole night but thought something about her work pissed her off. Eventually what tipped her over the edge was when me bf made a joke about me, we all laughed except for Sal, who was on her phone. I basically responded by wrapping my arm over my bf’s shoulder, kissing him on the cheek and saying “I’ll get you for that” and winking. Everyone giggled at that but Sal slammed her phone on the table, said to be excused and walked off. After the dinner ended, Sal called me and yelled at me for the gross amount of PDA I was showing, the dress I was wearing, and pretty much everything about the night, and especially for rubbing it in her face that she can’t get a guy. She ranted at me for about 20 minutes before she cut the call. I chose not to argue and let us both cool down before saying anything, but is she right? I mean, I get why the pda i was showing might have been uncomfortable but i didn’t really do anything inappropriate. AITA?",AITA for being touchy with my boyfriend?,NTA
10w5rvm,"    Me ,43 single mom, her 32ish married mom of 3. We’ve worked at a small family owned company for 7 years. We have always gotten along great. About a year ago she had a baby. Without asking our VERY passive boss about maternity leave she just decided that she was going to work from home. She didn’t want to put her kid in daycare.  Her choice , not a big deal as I did the same with my kids. A year has passed and she has no intention of returning to the office. There is a very small part of our job duties that is combined.  One duty that we share is being on call. Every other weekend we are supposed to swap the company phone and we each get paid accordingly for having it. Its not much but its enough for me to pay a small bill.  I have struggles to make ends meet. Most days I’m working 15+ hours a day to keep the lights on. Late 2022 it became increasingly harder to get her to bring the phone to the office when it was my turn and I do depend on that extra income when I budget for the month. Twice she was to busy to bring it to town. I addressed the issue with the boss and He said she was not doing what she was supposed to be doing and he would address it and pay me anyways. Since the new year there has not been an issue with the phone. I can’t finish my workday until she gets all her work entered.  Since late 2022 there have been NUMEROUS times that I am waiting until after 5 for her to enter info. I have hinted and asked that she please have her stuff done so I can leave at 5 to get to my other job to the point where I started calling her out on the group message. Yesterday I had had enough. I was at the office until 6:30 and she had some missing info.  I called her twice. No Answer. Mind you she gets paid extra to answer the phone after hours.  20 minutes later she texted. I did not see it so I just finished her work and let the group know about the missing info so that she could record it in her reports at the end of the day. Then I got text from her on her personal phone asking if I had questions about invoices that I need to text her directly. SO, I did just that. I started another group message with her, the boss and the manager. I stated that since she doesn’t want to answer the phone and only text that I would be messaging in this private group so there is some transparency and some accountability. I let her know that I didn’t want to get blamed when customers weren’t paying invoices because she hadn’t put them in. If she couldn’t get them in I would do it for her so I can finish my day and she can fix them on her own time on her PAID rainout weeks at home. She had 7 hours to put in the last two invoice of the day . There are other issues of her not doing her job but most of it doesn’t affect me doing my job.  But am I the browneye  for calling her out?",AITA for resenting my coworker and holding her accountable and calling her out in a group message.,NTA
10w83cs,"Very long story short, my husband 35 recently reconnected with his friend Monique (40s). Monique does not live in our country but visited since they have reconnected. Anyway Monique on her visit and for Christmas bought our girls clothes and other toys etc. I did let him know to tell her thanks. During her initial visit she had bought him a Nintendo switch which my husband had told me he’d pay her back for. I had no issues with any of this. We had a discussion over Black Friday about whether he should purchase a laptop if Monique found one reasonably priced. I let him know that financially that wouldn’t be feasible as I needed a device for school. A week ago I found out that he had a MacBook Air (which costs locally about $10k I posted about this at the time). He hid the laptop for a month and lied about where it came from when I asked him after I found it. Eventually he said Monique bought it for him refurbished on Black Friday and he would pay her back over time. At this point I let him know I wasn’t comfortable with him and Monique associating. He said he explained to her the fact he lied and how I felt and they wouldn’t communicate. My thought process was that had it been me getting expensive gifts from a man he wouldn’t be comfortable and it would seem as though there was something else going on. I felt we needed to address our issues etc without outside interference. Today while we were on our way home I see a call from Monique. He initially lies about it and when I let him know I saw the call he says she’s been calling. I was upset so I asked to speak with her.Her tone was very condescending she kept saying that she understood my perspective but she didn’t see an issue with them being friends. I let her know that obviously I felt as though while my husband has his fault she is aware he is married and has kids and if he communicated to her it was causing issues in the relationship she should have stepped back and not doing so is disrespectful. She disagreed and said basically implying I was insecure and I had a problem with them being friends and I shouldn’t question the gift because I didn’t know how she got it.",AITA for asking my husband to refrain from speaking to his friend,NTA
10wqfiu,"my cousin (20f) & aunt have moved in with my family a couple of months ago. My aunt has her own room but my cousin moved into my room. We share a bed & basically everything els in the room. I enjoy having her here but I have 0 privacy now & am slowly getting irritated by all the little things she leaves around. Anyways. When they first moved in my cousin used up all my skin care/hair care/ & beauty products pretty quick but since I knew my cousin had no money to buy her own stuff I let it slide. (Typically when family comes to visit I enjoy them getting comfortable around my room & allow them to use my things) Turns out she had lots of money that her dad sent her but that’s another story. Here’s the problem, I am a full time college student that can only work 2 days a week (now 3) & I make just enough to pay all my bills & buy my self nice skin care & hair care products. I have to budget anything & everything so I am able to afford my so called luxuries. With that being said my cousin still hasn’t bought anything for her self, I now had to hide my shampoo & conditioner from her because she has thick hair & uses it all up. I tried hiding my perfume & skin care but she opens my drawers & uses it. I once brought up to her she can start buying products that work for her but she just ignored me. I had mentioned it again a couple of days ago & she called me selfish & a A hole for not wanting to share my products. She told me family helps one another & it’s rude to keep tabs on the things we share. I really don’t feel like an asshole but. Am I the Asshole?",AITAH for telling my cousin to buy her own things?,NTA
10wh195,"To give context, I (49M) suffered a toxic and abusive relationship with a man, I left after 7 years of aggression, I became proud and strong after that. I have a wonderful gay son (23M) so life couldn't be better, my son's friends and I go out regularly and plan a lunch and sleepover with one of my son's friendsWe made lunch, bought pizza and watched some football and had a good time, everything was planned for tonight.My son had a bully in high school named ""Justin R."" and he is in the same university as my son. Justin used to make derogatory, racist and homophobic comments to my son, invented rumors about him, made his life miserable in many ways and everything came to a climax when he had posted intimate photos taken of another boy (I don't know who but I know they are not of my son) and he said they were of my son, the whole school believed her and my son was humiliated and moved to a different school. This was totally horrible and I'm not justifying it in any way but it was years ago and they are mature adults now. I don't know him but he's friends with a cousin of mine so I know who Justin is apart from the stuff my son has. One day, I met him outside the university, I was surprised to see Justin crying a lot for a grown man, he looked very bad so I worried about him. I approached him and my cousin told me that he broke up with his abusive boyfriend and that I couldn't leave him alone, I told Justin that I cared about his situation and we left the University for a fast food outlet. Justin kept saying that his boyfriend was an idiot and I understand him, I didn't explain much, I just knew that in a fight Justin's boyfriend threw him out of his apartment and h is homeless, I've been in this situation and it's horrible, so i told Justin he could stay with us for a few days and it can start the night at our football sleepover, this calmed him down a lot which made me happy, I know he did horrible things before, but I always thought that ""pals before gals"" and that that my son would understand, but no, when I called him, he was scared, he was very, very angry and he wouldn't stop cursing. I understand, but what Justin did happened years ago and he is now a gay adult and I didn't want to leave anyone alone who had suffered the same as me to understand and accept it, I promised my son that I would protect him and that we would have a good time, but he just said that he didn't want to see me at the sleepover so he hung up and refuses to speak to me to this day. I understand his feelings but he must understand mine too i'm sure Justin won't do anything to him. We'll all mature adults.Now my son won't talk to me and I'm so confused and I'm don't know what to do, It's still early so I want to sort things out before it's too late so my son and Justin are comfortable and I don't have to choose between my man or a homeless gay person who needs my helpAITA?Edit: Apologizes for the spelling and grammar errors I made. Just want the point across.",AITA for standing up for my son's ex bully?,YTA
10wd0j5,"I am 20, work in retail at minimum wage with no college life (too poor) and no drivers license (too poor to start driver's ed as a minor, no car as an adult and no one to teach me), and live in a 5 person household with lower class/lower middle class wage in the family. With the money I get from my minimum wage job I pull in about 400/450ish a week, and 100 of that per week is rent and 25 per week is gas for the rides I get to and from work. It's a short drive so I luckily don't have to spend a lot. Weekly I'm also responsible for taking care of the pets in my household they got for me when I was a kid and I didn't necessarily choose to have 2 cats and 2 dogs, when you're a kid no one will say no to kittens and puppies. 4 animals gets SO expensive. I feed myself and never eat the food they bring in and take care of my mom when she gets into fibromyalgia episodes.My state released stimulus checks that were 450 dollars for each person recognized as poor on their taxes. Instead of knowing about it, my mom collected the mail, opened that envelope and hid it from me for three days. She pulled me aside today and told me that she's entitled to that money because they pay the bills and that my dad won't get one because he makes too much and she won't because she doesn't work. She said the state makes a mistake handing that money to ""kids"" that don't own houses. She said she was going to use all of it on a huge grocery trip and she sounded really excited that we could eat fresh fruit and food we like. My brother got to keep his check. When she told me she was keeping mine I didn't say anything, I just kind of accepted my fate and I've been trying to convince myself that this is the right thing to do. Other children in other families dream about paying back their parents for all the years of taking care of them.So why am I feeling resentful? Why do I want that money so much? Why am I angry? I could have used that money to get anything I've been needing for probably years now. I could have nice new shoes or nice clothes that made me feel pretty. I could have had sheets that didn't feel like laying on parchment paper. I could have used that to supply my animals for weeks. 450 dollars is so much extra money for people like me. I could have started saving for a car or a rent deposit, because you don't get to save money when all of it is gone by the end of the week. I could have done something.Should I be happy that my mom gets to eat nice food? My dad, my brothers, they get to eat food now because of money that came from me? Should I be fulfilled that I helped everyone? I did a good deed, right? AITA?",AITA for depriving my family of money?,NTA
10wh1c2,"This is mostly silly, but I need to know!My fiance is a bit of a pack rat. I am a recovering pack rat so I don't judge. When I first moved in his place was very messy.   I cleaned almost the whole house (there are a couple places I leave alone so that he can have areas he feels are his and I don't touch them). But I didn't mind, he didn't ask me to do it, I did it because I wanted to. I felt helpful, it was kinda cool to see the ""before and after"" after cleaning a room, and I felt accomplished. Anyway, that's the preamble to set scene. While I was cleaning, I found So. Many. Pens. Just random pens. Almost exclusively BIC pens and branded promo pens you get from like your real estate agent or whatever. I put them all together in one place. Guys, there was dozens of them! All random, many very old.Without asking him, I started to take them to work. I used up a pen about once a month. So I would bring maybe half a dozen at a time, and when I used them up, I would grab some more. About half of them were already dead, so I threw those out. I did not let anyone else use any of the pens. I am weirdly territorial about my pens, partly because I go through so many of them. Over the course of about 3 years, I used up almost all his rando pens. We still have about half a dozen that I won't touch. So all in all, I probably used about 40 pens, and threw 40 away that were dead.My fiance is (slightly) annoyed that I used his pens when I get free pens from work (he also got most of his pens for free). I told him about half were dead anyway, and he was NEVER going to use them all himself. I would be shocked if he used up an entire pen in the rest of our lives. He almost never needs to write anything physically down on a piece of paper. I saved those pens from the landfill, they all got used for their intended purpose! Also, once our pens run out, I have claimed I will be forever responsible for the purchase of any new pens. Which I guess doesn't matter now because we're getting married.So, AITA?",AITA for using all my fiance's old pens,NTA
10wj83d,"*on mobile*Today, my son (11yo) brought home a permission slip for a field trip but told me he doesn't want to on the field trip. The place he's going to is an Urban Green Space, so most if not, all of the trip will be outside, and there's lots of wildlife (I remember going as a kid and loving it) His reason for not wanting to go is because it's outside and he hates the cold, we live in the Canadian prairies so it can get downright freezing at times, in fact we just got out of a polar vortex (-40⁰s). Also, while he didn't mention it, he's never been a fan of animals of any kind.Part of me wants to let him skip it, but another part thinks it would be a good learning experience for him as well as he really needs to get used to being outside (we easily spend a third of the year below zero, even if he doesn't like it it's just life where we live).WIBTA if I told him to essentially suck it up (not in those words) and he can go on the field trip?ETA INFO: Just heard from someone whose child recently went on the same field trip. They will be outside for only about 10 minutes worth of snowshoeing, then they'll play a couple of games followed by preparing bannok (which is done inside) but then they go back outside to cook it over an open fire (which would also help to keep them warm) the rest is done inside.",WIBTA if I forced my son to go on a field trip?,NTA
10wouvy,"TWs: mentions of death and abuse I am fresh out of highschool living away from my dads house for the first time. He was very abusive to me mentally and physically for the entirety of my time living with him. I have spent the last 7 months living elsewhere and working through the trauma he had caused. My father recently passed away and while I haven't been giddy about it I haven't been sad either, I've been going about my life essentially in the same condition as when he was alive. Multiple family members have tried to insinuate that I'm actually not okay and that I am covering my feelings or it hasn't hit yet (mind you these family members are aware of his mistreatment of me. They've often brushed it off or tried to tell me about the good things he's done instead). My father's side of the family has been pushing me very hard to mourn. Repeatedly calling and texting, etc. One family member has even gone as far as to send me a paragraph text message about how my father is in heaven now and I need to forgive him because in heaven he feels bad for the way he treated me. I expressed that I was uncomfortable with this idea as I am not religious and I don't see someone dying as an automatic reboot for what they've done in the past It has been quite some time and family members are still ignoring my feelings and needs while pressuring me to forgive him and mourn despite me repeatedly expressing that I feel no need to mourn and that if they needed me I'm still hereThe funeral was a few days ago and everyone was pressuring me to go to support my family while they continued to ignore how I felt so I decided to stay at my partners house and attempt to re-explain why i didn't feel comfortable going. Multiple of my family members have lectured me on why I should have gone and one of them has even stopped speaking to me. My partner thinks what I did was okay, but my family is giving me doubts So reddit, am I the asshole? Thank you in advance",AITA for not attending my fathers funeral?,NTA
10wnxg8,"Hey. My (28F) sister (31F) is getting married on Saturday. We RSVP'd yes, and we're fully intending on travelling the 3-4 hours to stay close to the venue. I recently had a baby (3 months F) and we were 100% on board with her coming to the wedding, since everyone's kids are coming. The issue is, my husband has become really sick, as in runny nose, chesty cough, headaches, congestion the works.  (Thankfully not covid) Because he's become so sick, I'm inclined not to go to the wedding, but also because my Granddad who just had Whipple surgery due to pancreatic cancer, cannot get sick. It would be life threatening. I've been isolating from my husband since the first symptom appeared, yet I'm unwilling to leave him when he's so sick and I'm not 100% sure I haven't got it. WIBTA if I stayed away from the wedding? *on mobile*",WIBTA for not going to my sisters wedding?,NTA
10wli5n,"I (28F) have been living with my mother as of about 1 year ago, have a job but it doesn’t really pay well; think slightly above minimum wage. I’ve been living in an apartment that I’m renting from my mom at 50-75% below market so I could feel like an adult and have a place to call my own without going broke. The rent is still pretty high for me but it’s better than living at my mothers or an over priced apartment. My brother (42M,I’ll refer to him as “bro”) has been out of the house most of my life and living out of the state. He recently came to me about borrowing money I received after my father passed away. I put the money into a CD account so it grows over time. He called me while I was at work to see if he could borrow some money from that account. Let me just say that my bro and I don’t have the best relationship after my father passed away. He started the conversation with, “I’m not calling you to ask for money but to talk to you about something” then proceeded to braid me about my mothers spending habits and assets. At the end of the call I was crying and that’s when he asked me if he could borrow money and that he’d figure out away to pay me back with interest. I said yes at first because I felt pressured to say yes then when I called down after the call I told him that I would think about it. The one thing that I found off was he said, “we’ll think of a contract so both of us could sign and if I stop doing the payments you could take me to court” When I clocked back into work he continued to blow up my phone with texts and that when I have to turn off me phone. Later that week I texted him a well written text explaining to him that I didn’t feel comfortable  lending him the money because of our already rocky relationship and that we should work on a better relationship first before I thought about lending him the money. After I sent the text I blocked him because I knew he would have blown up my phone. I finally unblocked him and my phone blew up with voicemails and texts on how I betrayed him and how could I take my mom’s side. The last text is what really hurt me he said, “why do you even need that money, you didn’t even go/finish to college.” So I haven’t come in contact with him since then. I’m still very hurt about the situation and it’s awkward now whenever I see him for hug family events like weddings and/or funerals. AITA for not allowing him to borrow the money? I feel guilty for not lending him the money so he could use it to purchase a house but I wanted the money to grow first and that money would help me build my own life. It would help me pay off debts when I do go back/finish college or even help me put a down payment on a house.",AITA for not letting my brother borrow money,NTA
10wm4td,"I got prety pricey VIP tickets for a weekend con in my area. I invited my best friend since my fiance could not come even though she’s not really into the thing it’s for. She agrees, though a bit reluctantly.I thought Friday was a lot of fun together, on Saturday around 5, she told me she’d asked her husband to pick her up, and she left. Though we were supposed to be there till around 9.I start tearing up and seconds later a random guy starts talking to me but then I remember she has my other VIP pass so I text her asking her to bring it. I try to wipe my face well so as to not show my tears when she brings it back. She gives it back then leaves.A few days pass and we don’t talk, so about 3 days later I text her and tell her that her leaving kind of hurt my feelings but that I don’t want things weird between us because she means a lot to me so we can just move forward. I then try to move on and show her my tattoo.She responds two days later and says she feels that I did not appreciate her because she only went for me. And that I “proceeded to cry and make a random man look at her like she was a bad friend”. But that she tried to think of the best way to leave & that she felt bad when she did.I said that I didn’t know that she struggled to leave me because she’s very self-assured and outspoken. I also told her I wasn’t trying to seem manipulative by crying but that I was just sad and that crying at all is embarrassing. I reiterated that I don’t want a misunderstanding, especially it being our first, to break us apart because I love her and value our friendship. I also apologized for misunderstanding.She responded saying she only went to support me cause no one else would go. But that she doesn’t believe she’d go again since “it is causing you so much turmoil that you are crying in public.” She kept that after 3 years of friendship, I obviously think she’s a zombie with no emotions.I told her that I didn’t say that. I just said she came off very cool, because that’s her personality. I say I apologize for reading her wrong and that I don’t want this to hurt our friendship. She just keeps repeating that I think she’s a robot with no feelings.I finally ask what she wants from me at this point and she says she just wants a thank you for having gone at all.That could absolutely be what she was looking for, but we are both weird about showing affection. I don’t think we’ve ever hung out and been like “Thanks for hanging with me!” Granted I know the con wasn’t really her thing, but she didn’t have to pay for anything & I saw it more as her just keeping me company, as she would if we hung out anywhere. And even if I was going to thank her, she left suddenly.Am I selfish for being upset that she left suddenly considering she even came at all?She hasn’t reached out in a week. And I even attempted one last time to move on and bring up something lighthearted, but I was left on read. ATIA?Edit: I believe the biggest reason I am unsure if I am the a-hole is because she left very abruptly despite how plans of staying 4 more hours, and when I expressed my feelings toward this in an attempt to talk it out, she got hostile and made the situation 10x more awkward and upsetting.I was alao under the impression she was having an alright time because she also offered to go with me Sunday. And she was down for going to Saturday earlier despite us previously saying we’d go later. If she didn’t want to go, she didn’t have to. I’d have been bummed but leaving me alone suddenly really hurt.",AITA for not thanking my friend?,YTA
10wpo8r,"Hey y’all, so my girlfriend of a few months is a member of a sorority at our local college. We’ve known each other since middle school, but never really got close close until a few months ago. Before we started dating she decided to rush due to one of her teammates for color guard being in a sorority and hoped to get into said house. She got accepted to the house she wanted and not soon after we started to talk and eventually date. As a member, she has chapter meetings every week and does recruitment events during the week too for spring recruitment. I was pretty oblivious about Greek life before and didn’t really care that she did it. But now as I see more and more of what sororities do, I get really creeped out. One example is for initiation, she must wear all white to symbolize purity, no makeup, no jewelry, she can’t vape, smoke, drink alcohol, eat anything over indulgent,have sex or do anything considered “impure” for 24 hours before and after the ceremony. Upon learning this, I got the heebie jeebies and Jonestown vibes. We attend a smaller school and her house only has 20ish members so it’s more laid back than bigger schools which are borderline cultish imo. I’ve been around her sisters a lot and I’m cool with them and Vice versa. I don’t have a problem with them, I just get an uncomfortable feeling about the institution itself. I don’t know how to describe it. The whole idea of having prove yourself to people you don’t know to be accepted into their house, attending required events, constantly displaying their Greek letters, reciting creeds, chants, songs, and spreading their beliefs is just uncomfortable to me to say the least. I joke with her about how she “lives in a cult” because they do all of that weird stuff and can’t tell any outsiders what goes on, and she sometimes takes offense or jokes about how I’m in a cult because in addition to being a student, I’m a reservist in the armed forces. (Which is a fair point) even though I tell her exactly what I do (up unto the point i can’t tell anymore due to some things being classified). I don’t want her to leave her sorority by no means because I see it brings her happiness and a group of close friends, and I respect that and want her to be happy and independent. I just want to know if being uncomfortable around the institution is ok? Or should I try to force myself into rationalizing the whole Greek life idea? Sorry for rambling. (TLDR My Gf is in a sorority and it kinda weirds me out, is it ok to be creeped out?)",AITA for being creeped out by sororities?,NTA
10w9zki,"My (M25) brother (M32) has 4 children. He is also a tattoo fan, although he is still not kinked to the neck, he is really trying. A few weeks ago he talked to me about tattooing the names of his children, the one that matters here is Enrique, but nobody calls him Enrique, in the family we call him Kike (and pronounced ""Qeee-Kae"" in english, sorry if I have no idea how to write pronunciations in english, your phonetics are f'ed up). When he told me that, I thought he was writing Enrique's full name, so it would be okay. He got the tattoos and then posted them on social media. I was stunned to see that he wrote Enrique's name as ""Kike"". I texted him to tell him that Kike is a racial slur. He asked what the hell I was talking about and I showed him the Wikipedia article for ""Kike"" the slur and then an article from the AJC.He said, ""Well, we've never had a problem with it since Kike was born, so I don't think anyone cares,"" but I replied, ""What if you're in a job interview and the interviewer sees your tattoo? Sure, they can ask about it, but a lot of people will not bother because they will think you support Hitter and slowly walk away"". He got angry and asked me if I cared so much why didn't I warn him, I explained that I thought he was going to write ""Enrique"" and his tattoo artist should have warned him about the meaning of ""Kike"".He just said he didn't want to talk anymore and blocked me. I'm wondering if I'm being dramatic for no reason or if I should have warned him.",AITA for not warning my brother about the meaning of his Tattoo?,NTA
10wdxzv,"My (23F) stepfather passed away 10 years ago in a car accident. He was a good man. My stepbrother (18M) “Joe” has remained with us ever since. His mother passed away in 2007. We are his only living family at this point.Shortly after he died, my mother shared a “secret” with my sisters and I when we were 12-16: years before, our stepfather had told her he was not Joe’s biological father. He claimed to have proof of this, but never provided it other than the name of the man.His story went like this:He started his relationship with Joe’s mother a month or so into her pregnancy. Joe’s father was a drug addict and had recently been sent to jail for theft charges (and later on, after Joe’s birth, prison for further charges). My stepfather proposed to her 6 months into their relationship and agreed to have his name on Joe’s birth certificate.When telling this story, he explained he was concerned about telling Joe the truth in the future and how it could impact him. He felt it would be better for Joe to find out when he was older.When my mother told us—we were all just kids at the time—she forbade us to tell Joe about this in any capacity. Not “maybe someday.” Never. She showed us mugshots she found online of the man my stepfather had named to her. This man was the spitting image of Joe, and not just kind of.My sisters said it wouldn’t be fair to Joe not to know the truth, even if it turns out not to be true—because how could we know for sure it was true? Mom disagreed, said this would be confusing and hurtful for Joe to deal with at any age, he was better off believing his real father was a good man, not a convict.Recently Joe turned 18. My sisters and I have privately discussed maybe telling him what we know, but we have reservations.I’ve tried to put myself in his shoes, thought of what I’d want if I were him. I think I’d want to know, even if it hurt me or changed me. To know someone had cared for me as a father, that I’d grieved him, and to find out I still have a father who is alive?But what if it’s the wrong choice? What if none of this is true, and that man isn’t his father at all? And if it’s true, would it make him spiral to know what kind of man he is?How could he even contact this man? What if he doesn’t believe he’s Joe’s father, or he shuns him? How could it be proved they’re blood if they aren’t able to compare DNA? If he even agreed to it.I just imagine Joe losing everything he thought he knew about himself, and that it could be replaced with something horrible. He’s proud to this day to be my stepfather’s son. Would we not be ripping an identity away from him? As I get older I start to agree more that some secrets are best kept.Telling him or not is still to be determined. I’m mentally prepared to be told off, but know that I’ve been carrying this since 13 and I care for Joe very much.",AITA for not telling my stepbrother that his dead dad likely wasn’t his biological dad?,YTA
10wohlp,"AITAH?  My best friend isn’t using my husband as her realtor.  My husband has years of experience, is licensed in multiple states and has given my friend and her husband his time and advise multiple times when they’ve had real estate questions in the past.I knew my friend was considering a move and I’ve tried to talk to her about using my husband but she was cagey and kept saying she wasn’t ready to start seriously looking yet.  After she accidentally let it slip she was looking at houses this weekend I again asked about my husband and she finally said she is using her previous realtor. I feel really hurt and betrayed and told her I needed some time (we were supposed to go hiking this weekend and I cancelled).  Am I over reacting or is she an asshole?",AITA? Best friend not using husband as realtor,YTA
10w949u,"My mom recently started dating a man a few months ago (we'll call him Joe). About a month into their relationship, my mom asked if Joe could come to our wedding, and even though I hadn't met him yet (my mom lives in another state), I begrudgingly said yes because my mom seemed to really want him there, and I wanted my mom to feel happy at the wedding. A couple months later, my fiancee and I finally meet Joe when we visit my mom for the holidays. He was respectful enough; a little loud/boisterous, drank quite a bit. But, I didn't have significant concerns, and my mom seemed to be happy. Joe mentioned that we know someone in common. I call up this person who tells me concerning things about Joe - heavy drinking, infidelity, mooching off others, squandering of his family money, and bankruptcy. This information was obviously hearsay, but the spotty financial history specifically aligned with Joe's court history (online) which showed several court cases in which he appeared to have been sued by former landlords and creditors. This was especially concerning since Joe doesn't have his own car or home, and has moved into my mom's house, and is using her car… I'm worried that Joe isnt a great guy, and may be taking advantage of my mom. I relayed this to my mom, but she dismissed my concerns. She said she's happy and that she can handle herself. I don't want to tell my mom how to live her life, so if she wants to be with him, I accept that. However, with our upcoming wedding, my fiancee and I are feeling apprehensive of Joe being there. Not that he'll do anything while he's there, but that he isn't someone we want representing and being a part of our families. He's a stranger to us. Were paying for our wedding, and promised ourselves that we'd only have people there that we wanted there. And Joe no longer falls into that description. The thought of him sharing this important weekend with us makes the both of us upset. I relayed that to my mom, and recently told her he is no longer invited (but that she could bring whoever else she wanted in his place, so that she wasn't alone). She did not take this well, saying that it's unfair to her, and that I'm being too critical. She said she's not looking forward to being there, so long as she can't bring him, and has been lobbying me to reconsider. I wasn't naive to think she'd be fine with our decision, but I'm still feeling very guilty about it. I'm second guessing that this was the right decision; my mom is important to me, and it really bums me out to think that she won't enjoy our wedding. Beyond the wedding, this has the potential for creating a rift between us and a breeding ground for resentment… There doesn't seem to be a good solution - either Joe is there and we're uncomfortable all wedding weekend, or Joe is not there and my mom is brooding the whole time. In the end, because it is our wedding, I felt that we were entitled to be selfish. ",AITA for disinviting my mom's new boyfriend from my wedding?,YTA
10we3md,"As per title. My friend is having a joint bachelorette with her partner and is allowing everyone to bring their spouse. I am the only single person in the group.If the party was local and didn't have a big price tag, I wouldn't be debating this. But instead it will be in another city and will be for several nights. The cost of the trip will be at least 1000.The high cost and the fact that I may feel like a third wheel the entire time is making me pause. I want to tell her I can't come, but it feels petty having the reason be that I'm single.Thoughts?",AITA for wanting to skip my best friend's bachelorette because I'll be the only single person?,NTA
10wdy99,"I'm almost 40, have no kids, and am not married. I own no property. Not a lot stapling me to where I am.I'm close to my nieces & nephews & was close to my parents before they passed away, each from long cancer battles.For 6 years, I lived in a house my parents owned they had intended to give my brother, but my brother didn't want it after he spontaneously got married to a woman he met in the army.I did all the upkeep & maintenance (happy to do it) & collected rent from roommates for Dad & Mom. Mom promised me this house would be mine one day since bro no longer wanted it. She died first & my father decided to sell it. I was very hurt. I loved that house.As a compromise, he said if I got the house more presentable (repainting rooms & exterior, re-tiling roof, sanding floors, a few other minor repairs) and ""showed"" the house for him, I could have a small portion of its closing price. (wound up being ~22k)I was to use this to go back to school & get a ""more practical"" degree. I have a B.A. in Theater Arts. He wanted me to go back & get a teaching certification or study nursing.  Right after the house sold & he put the money in my account, he lost his battle. I looked around & really started evaluating my life. I'm unhappy here & never really felt at home in my area. (rednecks, provincial minds).My parents were both frustrated artists who never got to pursue their dreams b/c they got married & had kids. My father was especially morose & would regale me with tales of living in NYC, studying art in the Village & Manhattan. I have his beautiful sketch studies on yellowing paper & his dreamy watercolors he tucked away & never displayed carefully saved.My Mom did theater in San Francisco & knew old beat poets & experimental playwrites but came back home when her Mom got sick. She didn't wax poetic about it, but I could see the regret in her eyes when she'd show me old scrapbooks.I want to use this money to move to California & pursue my acting, writing, and comedy dreams. I know people out there from school; I wouldn't be alone. My brother says I'm an asshole if I do this; that I'm flushing this $ away and what about my nieces and nephews here, they need me. Says I'm being a selfish turncoat & that I know that's not what Dad wanted me to do with the funds from the sale. I feel like this is my one and only life and I have to try. I watched both my parents die these horrible, long, lingering deaths, suffering tremendously,  their dreams unfulfilled.I don't know. It had a profound affect on me. WIBTA if I did this?",WIBTA if I used money left to me intended for another purpose to fund a move across country to pursue a lifelong dream?,NTA
10wfdfp,"This was a few years ago but I think about it every now and then. I'm out with my wife and daughter (5 at the time) at a restaurant. At the end of the meal, after paying the check, my wife and daughter leave to go to the restroom. I decide to go browse the bookstore across the street from the restaurant while I wait for them.  I wait in view of the restaurant while flipping through random books. After some time I wonder why it's taking so long and go back to the restaurant bathroom to check on them. They had left, a waitress told me. I walk to our car, parked around the corner, and they are sitting in the car. My wife looks angry and, when I enter the car, berates me for leaving them. She tells me I only think about myself and might as well be single.  I tell her she could have just called me and that I was directly across from the restaurant exit and she should have been able to spot me.  I tell her next time I will text her letting her know where I'm going and that I didn't want to leave them. She still, on the way home, scolds me for being so thoughtless.                I do feel bad about this, in hindsight, and I don't know why I didn't just wait or send a text. On the other hand, I also feel that what I did didn't warrant a full dressing down.  I'm posting this because I don't really know if I'm just sort of clueless or maybe my wife just had an emotional outburst. We all have them.",AITA for leaving my family at a restaurant?,YTA
10wg30c,"My brother got married to a childhood friend of mine almost 5 yrs ago who has a child from a previous relationship but she didn't gain custody of him until about 2 yrs later. He's been in the army the whole time so my family doesn't see them much. They lived here in town for the better part a year but hardly came to any functions, if so they'd leave her son (11) at home or with his dad. Last year I invited them all to my 2 yr olds bday party at my in laws, didn't hear anything until a few days before asking what he wanted and swore they'd come. Day of arrives, only my brother shows up, then leaves towards right before cake to go get her (they lived 5 minutes away). They show up after gifts and she's DRUNK and without her son, then overdrinks/ over stays after everyone else left. I decided not to invite them to anything else because I was so embarrassed. Everytime they work for the family business, there's drama that turns into them not speaking to anyone. Whenever they're together with us, she'll openly insult/ yall at him, which is extremely disrespectful. Fast forward to the fall, they move to S. Korea w/ her son. They just announced they're pregnant w/ they're 1st baby together, but I'm more worried about the kid she already has that has been just a background character in their life. I think it's irresponsible to try for a baby when you've neglected the one you have. My parents are excited about another grandchild, but judging off the last 5 years, I'll probably never see the kid so I don't see the point. Am I wrong?Edit: Typically I'm very loving towards babies, but I'm also under the thought process that not everyone should have children because you can't ""un-have"" them when things get tough.",AITA for not caring about my brother having a baby,NTA
10wdyxj,"I'm 23, university graduate, and I work from home in my own place. My parents live about 15 mins away, and my sister lives 5 mins away (along with her husband and her 2 young kids).After I got my own place, I bought a car last summer so that I can travel on my own to wherever I wanted. But having my own (new) car has been great, and it was at low mileage as well. I see my parents every weekend, and I'm happy to do so because they're the only family I have (along with my sister's squad of course). We weren't rich growing up, so I always try to pay it back to them. The closest relatives to us live a 6 hour drive away.Last September, my dad told me that his brother-in-law's mom passed away, and that he needed to go to their city (6 hours away) to attend the funeral (since he's very close with his B.I.L). In the past, he had often driven by himself with my mother to those kind of events (years before covid), but after the 2 year pandemic, he claimed how he's old (57) and that he's not able to maintain driving for 6 hours. While I wasn't a fan of driving 6 hours for something I wasn't looking forward to, that's not why I felt annoyed. He told me that we needed to wake up at 4am, leave by 6am, arrive by noon, and then after the funeral we would leave around 3-4pm to get back home before it gets too late...So he wanted me to drive him in my car at 6am to a city 6 hours away, stay there for 3 hours, and then drive him back 6 hours home. He did offer to take the wheel halfway through the trip (I have a very bad habit of getting sleepy after constant driving), and he told me that he would pay for gas on the trip to the city (while I paid for the trip back home...).When I told my sister about how I felt, she said ""You're his son, and I have 2 babies to take care of. You need to realize our parents are getting old, and you need to be there to help them"".So obviously I did just that, and spent a day driving most of 6 hours, and then after 3 hours I drove Now today... my dad called me and told me that his cousin's dad passed away, and he needed to go the other city to the funeral this Friday. Since it starts at 10AM, he says we need to leave by 3AM so we can get there on time. He also told me that he's pay for gas. On top of that, he said that we didn't need to stay long, at most 2 hours, and then we would need to drive back at 12PM. He told me to get back to him later this evening to confirm if I can take the day off work (which I can) and if I can drive him there...AITA for not wanting to always drive my dad 6 hours both ways to random funerals as a day trip?",AITA for not wanting to drive my dad 6 hours both ways to see his family for funerals?,NTA
10woyh5,"I, 20(f) told my friend 21(f) that she should stop calling out of work. For context, we went to high school together and i know her very well. She was looking for a new job and because I was leaving mine I recommend her and got her my old role at work. She has worked there for approx 2 months and has called out at least 10 times over non-emergent scenarios. She will lie to her boss (my old manager who I love) and make up elaborate stories on why she can’t show up. In doing so she will call me for support to comfort her and listen to her decisions (she calls me every time she calls out). I do believe mental health can absolutely affect your ability to work etc, but she i feel she is using it as a scapegoat as she has done this so many times, meanwhile still goes out with friends the same night. She asked me last week if I thought it was a good idea to call out and I told her i didn’t think so and that she should try and prioritize work. She replied that she comes first over a job and if she feels bad she’s not coming in. She got upset that I suggest that sometimes you have to power through things you don’t always like. She hasn’t spoken to me in over a week, AITA?",AITA: I told my best friend to stop calling out over her anxiety,NTA
10wcni5,"My BILs wife recently reached out to my wife for some financial help since my BIL is currently unemployed.  My wife said that she would need to discuss it with me first, and that we'd figure out what we could afford.  When my wife said this, BIL's wife asked her why she needed to run everything by me, and if I ""allowed"" her to have any of her own money.So some additional background: We got married young and poor, so we always pooled our money together to make ends meet. My wife tracked paying the combined bills when we started out, but didn't like it, so I took over. It's been this way for the past 15 years.  We both make about the same amount and it goes into a joint account.  From there, I pay the bills and move money into different investment accounts.  My wife is aware of/has access to these accounts, most of them are joint (others are in our individual names), and I update her once a month on their balances.  Neither of us really spend a lot, so I've never felt like I've needed to tell her not to buy something. We usually discuss purchases over $500.So my wife explained this all to my BIL's wife. My BIL's wife now feels that I am ""financially abusing"" my wife by ""controlling the purse strings"", and has been telling my wife's family as much.  My MIL and FIL feel that it's OK to join some finances, but that each person should have an account to do as they please.  I think that each person should be able to do what they want with their money, but that doesn't require having separate accounts, just communication between parties. I will say that my in-laws aren't the best with money and the reason they have separate accounts (according to my wife) is that because, when it comes to her dad, ""if he has $20, he'll spend $20"".On my side, most of my family has a similar set up to ours where one person handles more of the ""financial chores"" than the other person.  For my parents, it was my dad.  For my grandparents, it was my grandmother. However, I asked a few friends who are recently married, and it seems that people tend to not combined their finances the way me and my wife did.  They were also surprised that we had combined finances since they felt it was an old fashioned concept (and my one friend hinted at being slightly misogynistic, which I could see if there wasn't transparency).I asked my wife if she want's her own account so she can have her own cash.  She said that what we've been doing has obviously worked for the past 15 years, so why change it. (She also clarified that she used the ""let me check with my husband"" line because she felt like she was being put on the spot and didn't want to answer her right then.)So, at least in her eyes, I don't seem like the AH, but I'm wondering if I'm a bit of an asshole due to following this more ""old-fashioned"" model. Should we have more separation of our accounts, or as my one friend put it ""financial privacy""?​EDIT: Thanks for the feedback! It seems that having a system that works for us is what's important.  And my SIL can go pound sand. ","AITA for ""controlling the purse strings""",NTA
10wfqgh,"In August 2022, my (M27) best friend (Sam M29) of over a decade got engaged to his partner (Jane F30) (not real names) while away on a holiday. I was periodically house sitting to check on their animals, and scheduled my last visit for when they were due home. When they got home, Sam asked me to be his best man. I was so happy that they wanted me to be a part of their big day! A matter of days after the engagement, they found out Jane was pregnant, so they decided to postpone the wedding until mid 2024.Last weekend, I saw them for the first time since the engagement.  I don't live close by, but the rest of the wedding party all lives within a 20 minute drive of Sam and Jane, so naturally they meet up with each other more regularly than I'm able to. A lot of talk about the wedding had been said while I wasn’t present.Towards the end of my weekend with them, Sam casually mentioned several things that had been said about me by Jane and her party about my role as best man and me as a person, throughout several conversations.1. They don't trust me to look after the rings.2. Jane, the maid of honour (MOH), and Sam's mother will be vetting my best man's speech.3. I will never be trusted alone with the baby.I immediately voiced several objections, I felt each one of those points are massively disrespectful in various ways, and show a basic lack of trust in me. Sam assured me that none of this was his idea, it was the bride and the MOH, and brushed off my objections.From my perspective, this doesn't make things better. I've never even met the MOH, so she's only going on what she's heard from Jane and Sam. From what Sam has said, the MOH and I are polar opposites, there's no reason to write a speech if she gets to dictate what I can say. If I cant be trusted to look after the rings ( a feat often accomplished by children), and I can't be trusted to write a speech, I really don't see why I should be best man. Furthermore if they don't trust me to do this, I'm not sure why I was asked in the first place. (I feel my objections to my 3rd point are obvious enough to not need expanding on.)In addition, Jane doesn't know me very well, we've never spent time alone together, so she's only ever seen me interacting with Sam, we've been friends since we were teenagers, of course were idiots! But like any close friends, we have real conversations, we are idiots, but it's a choice. I was brought up well, privately educated, I know how to behave when the situation calls for it. I found that type of life very stressful and uptight; having to act how I'm ""supposed to"" so now, to the immense disappointment of my parents, I act like an idiot and enjoy myself. Sam knows that, and didn't stand up  for me which I feel would solidify Jane and the MOH's belief that these ""rules"" were necessary in the first place.I understand that I need to have a conversation with Sam about this, but if nothing changes and these measures are still implemented, WIBTA for backing out?​ETA: Idiot was probably a poor choice of words. I don't mean that I'm intentionally absent minded or neglectful. I roughly mean that in eccentric in m day-to-day life and I love it, and  Sam and I can be man-children around each other. And when I say it's a choice, I only meant to imply that I know how to function as an adult, and know where lines not to be crossed are. hope that clears things up","WIBTA for not being the best man at my friend's wedding, even though I've already accepting the position?",NTA
10wpzqy,"I (16F) was abused by my mom my entire childhood (ref. previous posts), we’ve had such fights before with some level of closure achieved but it was never enough. today when i woke up my zipper wasn't properly closed and it went a little deep but i hadn’t noticed and she started yelling at me about it so I said you could’ve just said it normally and ask me to zip up. this led to a fight and I told her for the first time how much i hate our relationship and it pains me and i wish i had another mother (based on our past, not today's incident).later i was texting my dad about it and he kept invalidating my experience saying “you’re being ungrateful” or “she only did that for ur own good” or “she didn’t mean to do that” or “if you ever have a chance at achieving your life’s dreams, the credit goes to her”, and he kept equating events when i was rude to her to events where she downright abused me. i told him he should be a parent before a husband but if he’s not then cool and made a lil snarky joke (my therapist will be hearing about you). i told him he was a bad parent for allowing everything that happened to happen and not protecting me from it. he just said “thanks for the compliment” and went offline. now neither of them are speaking to me and it's so tense living here.AITA?",AITA for calling my dad a bad parent?,NTA
10wpym9,"Hopefully I explain this well. If not feel free to ask questions…I live in a decent townhouse apartment community. Recently a group of kids 10 and under have been playing ding dong ditch. Usually they stay to the end they live in but this afternoon they were knocking on doors at my building. The lady who lives on the end is elderly and has cancer. She’d barely got home from the chemo center today and these kids started knocking on her door and running off. She was so weak she could barely get to the door and she didn’t realize it was a prank. I saw the kids do it and their parents never watch them or do anything at all to make them behave so I told them off. No cussing. Nothing crazy. Just told them she’s old, she’s sick, it’s rude and disrespectful to be doing that to her. Pretty much just tried to make them feel like crap assuming they have a conscience.I only know the parent of one of the kids because most of these kids run around without any supervision at all. I’d never seen any of their parents before today in all the time I’ve lived here because hardly anyone who lives here actively parents their child in any way. I talked to that one kid’s parent as soon as I told the kids off. Everything was fine.BUT next thing I know another kid is dragging their parent up the street toward me and everything went downhill from there. A 9yo and 10yo are saying I cussed them all out and threatened them and trying to convince all the other kids to say the same. The parents of those 2 are mad because they’re convinced kids never lie or exaggerate anything ever. Then another parent comes up and says the 10yo said I tried to hit their kids. Those 2 kids ended up admitting it was all a lie and that they really were bothering the lady after the 9yo and 10yo walked away and the parent was fine in the end but I still have 2 parents raging at me for telling their kids and others not to harass an elderly lady with cancer. AITA?",AITA for telling the neighborhood kids off for ding dong ditching my elderly neighbor with cancer?,NTA
10wpw5b,"Ok so I missed a week of work in Oct and took 2 days off in Nov. My boss would call or text just to check in to see if I was okay. Our job also has weekly meetings and one on one's. One day I confessed that one of my days off on in Nov was due to being hungover/personal issues during our one on one. Anyway, my absence was excused and he did the standard ""if you need anything, we are here for you"" work speech. Seems like he really did me a favor. **Not sure if this matters but my boss is a 50 something year old gay man and I'm a 28 yr old female. I dont feel uncomfortable around him at all. He's very pleasant. **So one evening he called on the weekend and I thought something was wrong and so I answered. He was drunk and kind of confessed that he had an alcohol problem and shared his past. So I tried to talk him down and it seemed like a one time thing. For a few weekends I would answer calls and sometimes he would be drunk and sometimes he'd call to talk about work. He would say that we could be friends but it's unethical so I shouldn't tell anyone. At first I thought ""ooh being friends with the boss may be nice"". It started to get uncomfortable when he called 3x on Christmas Eve, & Christmas day and he started to call every weekend. I've started to put my phone on airplane mode I started to block him during the weekend and didn't even realize I was just accustom to this behavior. He just seems so lonely and I also shared part of my past about being in a relationship that turned abusive due to alcohol. So I think he thought he could confide in me blah blah. So when I came in to work last week, I was asked to write an incident statement about his behavior outside of work. Idk why I thought it was just me...I waited for a week to write anything but when he called out of work Mon and Tues and called me 5x over the weekend, I felt like I didn't have a choice. I'm just not sure why I needed to write a statement if his behavior has gotten so out of hand and was recognized at work anyway. (Arriving drunk at work)I was vague in the statement saying that he was a great boss but I've had to ignore calls after work. I also stressed that he just needs HELP. He has been showing up to work drunk off and on so idk. I'd love some feedback!(I work PT at a law firm)",AITA for writing the report?,NTA
10wr7un,"I (15f) and my partner (14f) have been together for over a year now. My partner was never the social type, but theyre more of a deep, long conversation type person whilst I am a “ ohh look at this thing I found today, or, guess what happened today  “ kind of person. Our personalities do clash, but not in a bad way. We share some interests, talk everyday and genuinely love each other a lot. Recently she got into South Park. Yes, this post is going to sound childish, but I’m having some issues with it. I don’t care about the show, and I don’t mind anyone who enjoys it either. She’s always kind of overlapped what I said, I never minded it too much but ever since they started watching it shes just become a bit more ...rude? I don’t know how to put it. Through text they’ve been really dry and expect me to respond to her texts when she doesnt respond to mine when I tell them about my day while they’re sleeping. she’s also started insulting me a lot more and immediately following it up with “sorry”. I’m a very sensitive person, she knows that. I take playful insults lightly, but these just feel very targeted and truthful. I was taken aback the first time, now it happens every day. Words of affirmation mean a lot to me as well and I constantly say I love you to her but she rarely says it back. Shes just been feeling a lot more distant now. The aggression in her tone is also something I picked up. I cant tell if her insults are a joke, or if she’s being serious. Or if I’m overthinking and being sensitive. I’ve been wanting to confront her about it, as this has been going on for two weeks now, I think. And it’s getting kind of unpleasant to try and talk to her if I just feel overlapped or ignored. WIBTA??sorry, for the poor quality. This is my first post in this subreddit. :)edit: also sorry my English isn’t the best. It’s not my first language.",WIBTA for confronting my partner about her personality change?,YWNBTA
10wr76m,"So yesterday i noticed something ""Which i was obviously oblivious to"" ... My girlfriend NEVER asks anyone, anything!? Let me try to explain!Quick breakdown of our relationship::Been together for 16 years, and we are absolutely in love. Never had kids and live together. Shes 38 im 35. Gonna call her Jane. Lets take my mother for this example::Yesterday i was talking to my mother on the phone about this Computer course shes been taking for 2 months, it's for seniors mostly, how to send emails and set bookmarks in websites and such. Really happy for her because shes been very depressed recently because her son ""My brother"" moved away to spain and she recently lost her job. So having somewhere to go every Tuesday and socialise was just what she needed. So all the time we were talking on loudspeaker ""about 5 minutes"". My girlfriend was in the room with me playing around with her phone. Then my mother asked if Jane was ok? Jane said ""Yeah im ok! Had a busy day in work today though!"" then she started just talking about her day. This conversation went on for easily 30 minutes and then they both said goodbye. In them 30 mins or so, Jane never once spoke about the course.So this got me thinking... And it made me come to the conclusion!! She never asks anyone about their days or how they are feeling or well... ANYTHING!And when someone is telling her about their lives shes always, disinterested? Even when we are out with her best mates. They would be talking about work or something and theres Jane, not joining in and barely listening. It's always a one sided conversation, unless shes talking about HER lifeWe would be talking as a group about a new movie thats just came out, or a wedding one of them had a week ago. And jane would be looking at her phone or just looking around.Not just friends and my family either. She does this with her family too. Her mother would phone her up about her losing her cat and Jane would slyly change the subject to her cough she had last week.. Now i know what you are thinking... shes just shy? But NOPE Jane is definitely not shy. Quite the opposite actually! Shes a public speaker! And before you ask, yes she does this with me to!! In our 16 years shes never once asked me did i have a good day today? Or how am i feeling, or anything. I have to TELL her. And even then shes looking around for something to do not giving me any attention?So.... Would i be the arsehole for telling her shes being a little Selfish? Keep in mind that i honestly don't think shes doing this on purpose..... maybe selfish is to strong a word. Gahhh im so worried about this!!!!",WIBTA For telling my Girlfriend shes SELFISH!?,YTA
10wjloz,"Today I got into a fight with my mom because I (19) decided to teach my sister (10) how to cook bacon instead of doing it for her.For context: My sister is picky with food, she didn't want to eat the pork ribs we had in our fridge, so she decided that she wants a salad with a side of bacon. She is also lazy and never wants to clean up after herself. My parents never say anything to her about it and just do everything for her, and she knows it. And I don’t think it's good... I think she should learn to do things by herself (like cleaning after she eats, putting away her bag and lunch box after school, etc.) instead of my parents doing it for her.  I was pretty independent at her age, and I used to pack my food for school, and cook stuff like scrambled eggs, etc. And I thought there was nothing wrong with my sister doing it too...My parents weren't home and my mom asked to give my sister food if she was hungry. But my sister didn't want anything from the fridge. She asked me to make bacon and I said she can do it by herself and I told her how to. After successfully cooking the bacon, she left the electric stove and pan dirty to let it cool down, and forgot to clean it.When I told my sister to clean up after herself, my mom was already home and snapped at me about how ""she's too young to cook"", that I should've done it myself, and that she ""can't wipe a stove"" because she's too young, and so on.It ended up turning into an argument, and she yelled at me about how upset she was, and that apparently my sister ruined the pan and that it was all my fault.I told my mom that I thought allowing her to learn and do a try/error will be much better than just doing it for her... to what my mom answered that “it's not my business to teach/educate her kid what to do” and that I should've just done what she asked, and that this just shows how much “I don't care about my sister” and that I'm ""an irresponsible brat"".So AITA for letting her cook bacon?",AITA for letting my sister cook bacon ?,NTA
10wr54p,"My older sister, Ally (22f) is getting married to Sam (21m). Our parents don’t agree with dating. And they want us with someone from our culture. Sam is nice though. Intelligent, very handsome lol, a little awkward but kind. He does have autism and BPD. Sam isn’t very open and is quite embarrassed about these things. But my sister (and the rest of us) love him regardless. Ally has no plans on breaking up with him, and was prepared in case our parents decided to cut her off. But they took it well. Admittedly, she did twist some details. But Ally’s always been good at getting out of trouble and this time was no different. They were willing to meet him. It was a complete interrogation though. They were iffy about some things but with my sister’s coaching, Sam did pretty well.Thing is, my mom easily figured out that Sam has autism. My dad didn’t realize and thinks Sam is okay. Well, my dad left the house to get food and my mom pulled Ally and I aside. She immediately asked if Sam has autism. Ally said yes. My mom then proceeded to say that he seems like a nice kid but she can’t let this happen. Safe to say, Ally and I were shocked. Of all things... this? Ally said as much and our mom said to think about her future kids. She asked if she really wanted them to have autism as well. If she really wanted to deal with autistic kids when she could have kids with a more mentally fit man. My sister shut her up though and my mom decided that it wasn’t worth it I guess. The night ended pretty well. Sam and Ally left.My parents were speaking, discussing whether they approved. I noticed my mom hesitate and immediately called her over, interrupting them.I told her that if she told dad about Sam, that I’d tell him about how she regularly talks to her mother (she stole money from my dad and never paid it back). My mom immediately got pissed.I just told her the choice was hers. She called me sneaky, manipulative, insulted me some, etc etc and said that I’m technically no better than her since we’re both keeping very important things from him.I guess she’s not wrong. I am being hypocritical in a sense and well, I’m sure my dad will find out about Sam being autistic one day. I just didnt think my mom was going to tell him appropriately. I don’t know if I’m the asshole but I know I’m not exactly doing the right thing either. AITA? My mom isn’t talking to me anymore and my other sister (not Ally) said I sounded real manipulative.",AITA for being hypocritical and threatening my mom?,ESH
10wpkcb,"Posting for my husband as he’s conflicted with this and wanted an outsiders perspective. Husband is a self employed contractor for an in-demand trade. A friend of his is in the same trade with his own business as well. Friend hooked up husband with a company that works as a third party business— basically what they do would be connecting clients with independent contractors and then marking up that contractors bill to the client, so that they’re making money. Husband worked a few jobs for this company but it was very disorganized and he didn’t like how the communication between the company and clients were going down. That being said, one of the clients he’d been working for asked if he could deal directly with my husband instead of going through the company. This client had been with the company about a year and had been consistently frustrated with their lack of communication, among other issues. This guy didn’t have a problem with their markup of costs- just that it was such a gongshow getting the services he needed. Husband also wasn’t impressed by some of the work by other contractors within the company and didn’t want his business name associated anymore, so he let the business owner know that he was going to part ways. The client of the company reached out to my husband after he’d cut ties with the company and asked him to continue to do work for him, as they both got along well and the client appreciated his work. Business owner is now very unhappy with my husband for “stealing his client”, though this wouldn’t have been an issue in the first place had they acknowledged this customers concerns over the past year, as well of just allowed husband to work directly with that client through the company as per what that client had requested. There was no contract between company and my husband for work- it was all independent, as needed. There was no contract stating he couldn’t work with customers if he was asked directly. This is the brief summary but we can give more details if anything is unclear!",AITA for “stealing a client”?,NTA
10whkdj,I work in a office with two age groups of people the 30- 50 group and the 18-26 age group I am 24f and I tent to gravitate towards the 18-26 group more when it comes to socialist at work. Our office is pretty busy so the socialist in the office is much but normally when we are slow. I specifically talk to my coworkers 18f and 21m mostly just because I work with them most directly. I enjoy there company….sometimes… I am pretty reserve and don’t really go out to parties or drink like my coworkers. Because of their my cow workers are always asking to hang out outside of work or go to a restaurant near by to drink during our lunch break ( we get an hour lunch). I decline just because I honestly rather be by myself  and eat alone because sometime those co workers can be to much and loud and obnoxious. They also can sometimes be childish and wanting to get on talks at work and just start shaking their butts which I fine kinda odd. Ever time we work to gather they ask me to go to lunch with them but I always decline but this time the 21 m told the 18f that he would only go to lunch with her if I come along. So the 18f was begging me to go with them so they can get drinks on their break and they can go have fun at this restaurant. I of course said no and my co worker huffed in disappointment and called me lame and boring for never wanting to do anything with them. AITA?,AITA for never wanting to hang with my co workers,NTA
10wo1jt,"Throwaway for privacySo to start off im 19f and bf is 19m. We've been together for 4 years and overall our relationship is good.We are currently ldr because I'm a few hours away at college see each other when we can, so usually a few days together every month or every other excluding breaks when it's much more frequent.... We also do virtual dates through facetime and can talk about nearly anything including finance's.Anyways so I just spent the weekend back home with him and some family (including his) and a good amount of this requires a few hours travel time each way. He usually ends up driving and I navigate/manage the phones for safety. All I really do is choose music and make sure everything goes smoothly. ( good conditions, don't miss turns, etc) but he got a text from his mom asking about their cars and which he took etc, I asked if he was cool with me responding and he said that I should. I went to respond and I noticed that she had said she pulled money from his account ( for rent) in a prior text on screen.( Not snooping literally just there)Now I just responded to the most recent text(s) and let it go, but earlier in the evening she mentioned she has access to his and his siblings bank accounts, ( free reign to do what she pleases) and that concerned me. She had to pull money for something from his younger sibling and that's why it was mentioned.( Which is more reasonable because they are a minor but still) She's a good women and we get along well, but from personal experience it's not a good thing to let someone be able to access your money at any given whim. ( I.E My father had access to my account but it wasn't necessary so I removed it, especially after he ""joked"" about draining my savings.)I really want to ask why he hasn't set up an auto transfer, or write checks instead of just letting her have free access. (Because his parents are having him pay a set amount of rent per month) I don't think he would necessarily be upset as he is very rational and level headed, but it also doesn't feel like my place right now. We have discussed moving in together in a few years, and I've known this man for a good majority of my life so I want to make sure he's secure, as well as his future. I feel like if I don't ask now it could be a problem later. So WIBTA if I ask about my Bfs rent and his mom's access to his bank account?",WIBTA if I asked about my bfs rent?,NTA
10wpc3a,"I’m going to keep this as short and sweet as possible. Throwaway. My gf and I have been together for about 5 years. She is in her residency so she doesn’t have a lot of time to go out and have fun. My job is pretty demanding as well so I don’t go out as much as I used to but I try to go to a restaurant some nights or something like that. My gf had some days off coming up and one night she told me she missed hanging out and having fun with me and staying out until the sun rises like we used to so we planned a Saturday night outing with some of her friends and my boys. So the next Saturday night we all went out the this popular bar that people said was good. The night was going great, we were all drinking except my gf and a few of her friends and just having fun. My gf’s friends started leaving around 12 am and by maybe 1 am it was just my gf, my boys and I. We continued to drink and dance and laugh but by around 2 am my gf said she wanted to go home. I told her I wasn’t ready to go and that this was my first night out in a long time so I gave her the car keys so she could drive home. I would just grab an uber or something. When I gave her the keys she just looked at me for a second then grabbed the keys and left. I went back to my guys and around 4 am we went our separate ways. I called an uber for one of my friends and I, he wanted to save money and just get an uber to his place so I could crash there and he’d drive me home in the morning but at that point my gf wasn’t answering any of the messages I had sent her since she’s left asking if she made it home safe and just checking in so I told him I was just going to pay the uber for another trip and go home. When I got there my gf was asleep so I just went to bed too. The next morning my gf was basically not talking to me. When she did it was full of one word answers and attitude. I asked her if she was okay and then she finally said that me leaving her was an asshole thing to do. I told her I just wasn’t ready to go. We went back and forth like that for a while until she just went to her moms house. So, Aita?",AITA for letting my (24m) gf (27f) drive home?,YTA
10wqwcz,"The other day I (16 M) was getting ready to go to school and because I don’t have a car I get driven by my brother (17 M). My brother always has had a problem with waking up in the morning sometimes you have to wake him up 4 times just for him to actually get up cause normally he just goes back to bed. Also I have to add this my brother has anger issues, so whenever you wake him up you get a barrage of insults. So back to the story I knock on his door and wake him up then continue to get ready. 10 Minutes later I knock on his door again to make sure he was up, he replies with one of his snappy insults but whatever thats every morning. So after 20 minutes this time not even to try and wake him up I knock on his door and ask him how long until hes ready. He at this point is just angry already so he comes out of his room to rant about how annoying it is that I knock on his door every morning. I at this point was already extremely frustrated because over the past few months I’ve been cleaning up after him like picking up plates he leaves out, doing his dishes, folding and doing our laundry, cleaning the bathroom including his literal piss off of our toilet. I can’t clean his room for him but just for context it stinks and usually has dirty dishes or cans littered everywhere. I knew I shouldn’t have escalated it but I screamed at him “Get the f*** out of my room” it turned into a screaming match and I called him an “f****** slob” (which he is). During this he said something along the lines of me never getting driven by him again which in my opinion is a bit unreasonable saying how we live an hour away from my school. Afterwards he left the house mad and I got driven by my dad. I haven’t talked to him since but he did go up to my friend at school with the intent of complaining about me to her but she having already heard my side shut him down before he could say anything.I haven’t spoken to him since and my dad called me saying that I should apologize for calling him names, but honestly I don’t want to as I meant every word that came out of my mouth. Which might make me the asshole. I just can’t deal with him anymore, he touches and breaks my things without permission, insults and belittles me infront of my friends and trys to guilt trip me after every argument. But on the other hand maybe I’m just not able to see his viewpoint because he is very sensitive so even the smallest things to him seem as huge events. I also started the screaming match and did call him a series of names.So am I the asshole?Edit: This was at my dads house which I do most of the chores at, My moms house the chores are more evened (his rooms still gross though) but at my moms house he can get away with insulting me more because my mom won’t immediately shut him down like my dad does",AITA for screaming at my brother that he’s a slob,NTA
10wawp0,"So first a little background. I've (F21) been wearing a heart monitor patch for the past week and got to take it off today. I was prescribed the patch because I drank a single cup of normal watered-down coffee and then proceeded to get minorly spooked/anxious after someone I wasn't expecting (workers) arrived at the house which caused me from that point on have my heart rate at and around 125 for the entire day. (I have one of those finger monitors)I was literally in the bathroom the whole day curled up on the floor in the corner trying to calm down.Family members have a history of heart issues but none of those have killed anyone in our family. (It's mostly just minor arrhythmia and tachycardia)Anyway back to the current week long heart monitor situation. So the issue is that my mother (F50) has been trying to force me to drink coffee again/caffeine to intentionally cause my heart rate to speed up and become tachycardia so that the monitor could pick it up.When the monitor was put on none of the staff working with me said anything about me doing this nor did any of the physical stuff for me to take home. (Directions and etc for the monitoring period and device.)On top of that I had an Echocardiogram the day before where my mom mentioned trying to get me to make the tachycardia happen in the ways stated above and the guy doing the echo refuted her idea and specifically stated that it was a bad idea and I shouldn't do that.So for the week I've had the monitor on she let me know she was going to try and make it happen anyway. This consisted of trying to jump scare me, purposely trying to upset me, and trying to force me to have caffeine all week despite me clearly and directly telling her NO on day one. So now today when I finally got to take the monitor off her first reaction as soon as I told her I'd taken it off and that it's ready to be mailed back was to start yelling and cussing at me for not purposely drinking coffee to make it happen again.Calling me stupid, ranting at me, telling me if I died of heart issues to remember what I did.There's more that she said while screaming at me but I started subconsciously blocking out what she was saying and ended up freezing in the moment.So AITA for not forcing myself into tachycardia..?",AITA For Not Intentionally Causing Myself To Have Tachycardia,NTA
10wns1m,"My friend went to a blockage to save the rainforest with her children all under 10 years of age. The police helicopters where now circling the sky.After living in the forest for 3 months with her boys she asked me to pick her boys up. It took me 3 days to get them and I had to borrow a car, it was a mission( but would do it again in a heartbeat for those boys) when I got there she had decided to stay and sit in a tree to protest while I take the boys.She told me she would be back in a week. She didn't stick to her promise..3 weeks went by with no contact from her, BUT I was seeing her posts on her Facebook page.Turned out she had a truck donated to her the whole time and would have been able to get her boys out and safe with ease..I was selling my house at the time and couldn't work due to looking after her boys. I was very angry with her at this point and stressed to the max- I vented in confidence to a good friend via text messages. I just wanted her home and safe.8 months went by with no hard feelings. Things had settled down.. Until one night I  accidentally left my phone at her house, she went through my phone and read all my messages about her. She has since blocked me and I've been ostracized from friends because in there eyes she is a hero and did nothing wrong. Am I the asshole for getting mad and venting to my friend via text messege?",AITA for venting about my friend via text messege?,NTA
10wqokl,"I (female) recently had eye surgery. About a month ago, to correct the alignment of my eyes. Unfortunately, due to unpredictable circumstances, it did not go well, and the muscle in my brain  attached to the wrong part of the eye. This has caused severe double vision, blurriness and extreme fatigue and pain. As well as this, my eye is not healing. The stitches aren't dissolving as they should, and my eyes are too inflamed (very visible blood in them.) I am getting a second surgery to correct this in April.Yesterday, bf and I were walking around with some kids we were babysitting. It was a steep hill, and really hot (summer in Australia), and I had spent all day studying for my course. Naturally, I was even more fatigued than usual and mentioned to him that I was struggling. I couldn't see curbs, was tripping on the road. He told me to ""stop pulling the eye surgery card"". While I know it must be hard on him too, and it is possible I have been complaining about it too much, I still think he should have more empathy instead of pushing me through the rest of the walk despite me telling him I was struggling.So, AITA?",AITA for complaining to bf about my eye surgery?,NTA
10w8dy8,"Last year, I moved in with my friend. It has been a full year of planning for it, and she had assured me that she had a savings before we signed the lease just in case of emergencies so she could still cover her half. This was important to me because my last roommate (my ex) screwed me over by not paying any rent because he lost his job and never got another one. Anyways, I took her word for it because she was my friend and I trusted her—she knew what I'd been through before and told me she'd never put me in that position.Well, we sign the lease, pay the deposit, and move in. Then, first months rent rolls around and low and behold, she doesn't have the money for it. I was obviously shocked and pissed that she would lie to me and take advantage of me like that. I asked her where her savings had gone, and she told me ""other important bills and Ubers to work."" You're telling me this now?She finally gets me the money half way through the month, but it totally put me behind on bills and she only told me the day it was due. Rent from her comes on time until June. Once again, she doesn't have rent and only tells me the day of. I'm livid.Then, days later, she ends up in the hospital for a kidney infection. This obvi isn't her fault, but apparently, she had a kidney infection last year too, and had a temporary stint put in but never got it taken out or even set a doctors appt for it. She laughed while telling the nurses that she'd been peeing blood for the last two months and had passed a kidney stone. And you didn’t think to do anything about it? She's in and out of the hospital for the next few months, but she still works in between, she's fully mobile.But instead of getting rent to me late, she doesn't at all, doesn't even offer to pay what she can and doesn't even care when I bring it up to her. She's been slacking off on rent before the hospitalization, and now she just uses this to act like the victim, making tik toks joking about it one minute for attention, but as soon as I mention owing rent, she'll start crying, saying how could I ask her to pay when she's suffering, & that I need to ""get in touch with reality"" where people have ""real problems."" BFFR.Our apartment is expensive and I got so behind I told her she had to go if she couldn't get me rent and she told me I was cruel. Her mom texted me that I was an evil person. AlTA?",AITA for telling my roommate she’s using her hospitalization as an excuse to not pay me rent?,NTA
10wmf2e,"I am a disabled adult woman in my 20's currently living with my mother. I'm not yet at the point where I can go back to living on my own. We have a complicated relationship. A few days ago my pizza fell behind the freezer shelf while we argued about how to put it in the freezer. She told me to get down on the floor and get it out. I was wearing one of my few pairs of good pants and winter coat that I had just spent money washing, so I told her I'd just have to go change first. This furious look came over her face as I walked to go change. She stood physically blocking the exit so I couldn't, and kept telling me to go back and get the pizza in that quiet but angry, borderline hiss/growl voice women use with actual children. I went back to try to get it out again and managed to get it without getting on the floor, thankfully.All should have been over after that, but she said something else incendiary in that hiss voice. I don’t even remember what she said, but my response was, ""Uh-huh"", (in the annoyed typical American tone) because at that point I just wanted to get away from her and wanted the latest power trip to stop. She told me, ""just for that, the only rooms in this house you're allowed in for a week are your bedroom and the kitchen to eat. No living room. And you can't ride in the car for a week. You're being prideful."" My room is the smallest one in the house, not a comfortable place to be more than 2 or 3 hrs at a time outside of sleeping if you have issues with small, closed-in spaces. I told her I'm not a child and told her that she was the one being prideful having a power trip just because I said uh-huh; it's not like that's profanity, screaming, or throwing something. She told me it was the way I said it. I told her she was ridiculous for limiting me to my room for the week as a disabled adult over that. She told me I was the ridiculous one, and to shut up. I said, ""Oh, so I can't say uh-huh in an annoyed way, but you get to say shut up and that's not prideful?"" She said, ""Yes, because you're not talking when I'm talking. This discussion is over. Byee."" She kept saying bye, so I walked off muttering under my breath. I said, ""A husband wouldn't get to do this to his disabled wife. An adult child or grandchild wouldn't get to do this to a disabled parent or grandparent. This is abusive."" She didn't hear that part, but as I went in my room, I said ""abuser."" She misheard what I said and went, ""Did she just call me a loser?"" I opened my door and said, ""No, I said abuser,"" and closed the door. She laughed and said, ""Wow. Hm. I'm gonna have to TELLL someone about this."" (She has a long history of taunting me with threats to talk about me to others in the congregation- male authority figures and other older women).Nothing else happened after that, although I am limited to my room and the kitchen. I don’t feel guilty for calling her an abuser, but should I feel guilty? Was what she did emotionally abusive, or did I overreact?",AITA for calling my mother abusive?,NTA
10wke8q,"I (33F) left my family’s restaurant in December after things were getting toxic. As soon as I left, my mom (52f and owner), started being really nice to my assistant/friend “Sara.” After a couple of weeks, things went back to normal and my mom started getting nasty with Sara. Sara calls me often to talk about what is going on. Well today I got a phone call from Sara saying that she quit today. She didn’t have a car at the moment and asked for me to pick her up because I was down the street. Needless to say, my mother found out that I picked Sara up and I just got a text saying “you have stopped to a new low. i have never been more disgusted in you than i am now. I am removing you from my will. You will never get another cent from me. “ I really didn’t think it was that big of a deal, just helping Sara get out because I have been on the receiving side of my moms outburst. So AITA for picking Sara up and taking her home?",AITA for helping my friend leave after quitting her job at my family’s restaurant?,NTA
10w9tc9,"Throwaway accHi there, I just wanted to get some opinions here: My bf just showed me what he ordered for valentine's day. It's a black Teddy bear statue made out of plastic roses. It's kinda cute but he knows that I don't like useless gifts or clutter that just takes up space. I know it sounds really ungrateful. But it's just a waste of money (60€) in my eyes and space for something I won't like. :( He doesn't even have to buy me something. I just don't want any more useless stuff laying around...Should I keep it to myself and slowly move it to a place where it won't get in my peripheral vision or should I say that he should get a refund?Edit: as I'm getting a lot of ""should've told him beforehand that I don't like that kind of present"" Already did that *twice* for christmas and my bday",WIBTA if I asked my boyfriend to cancel his order for my valentines day gift,NTA
10wm04p,"My brothers (bro) kid (BS) need a place to stay and I just had a roommate move out. So after some promises of help in other way (fixing the roof and other stuff) i kept the rent the same at 500$ / month USD. even tho i could get a lot more its family and w/e. before moving in i go over the rules of the house (i live here and rent the two bedrooms so i have one renter (r) me and now my nephew in the house they share a bathroom) so first week nothing major other than reminding my nephew to clean his dirty dishes all the time (we cook individually so we would have to work around his mess or clean it for him which f that)second Friday arrives and my nephew isn't here when i wake up and doesn't return for a few day (hes an adult so idgaf) when he does return he has both of his children with him (hs3 and hs0.7) no call. no text. no information that he was returning with two children from him or my brother even tho they had been talking all day long. now let me mention i don't like kids. at 18 i got snipped so id never have kids. i do not have the tolerance or patience to raise or be around kids so i lost my shit a little bit when he says he has no choice. so my brother comes down the arrangement is that the kids will be with his wife most of the day (she doesn't know yet) and that during the evenings they would be with dad here in my home. FML​so 2 weeks go by and its hell on earth for me. screaming kids all night. dad screaming back. my home progressively getting destroyed and still reminding this grown man child to clean behind himself and now his two children. so after BS manages to screw Christmas up for everyone and loses the ability to have BRO wife watch his kids (long story) he takes them back to their fresh outta rehab mother and returns a few days later kids free... YAY!!!​so couple more weeks pass and still having to remind him almost every day to clean up behind himself. and again he vanishes on a Friday and returns with his kids the following Tuesday. again no call no text from either him or my brother. and now its been 2 more weeks with him and the kids in my house again reminding him every day to wash dishes, clean out the sink traps full of food he just dumps into the sink, clean the stove he trashes every time he uses it.​this brings us to now. i woke up today to him being gone. and the dishes from when i went to bed last night still in the sink with more from today. i lost my shit i called him a useless f... to both his face and my brother and said they need to figure something else out because i was done. now my brothers not taling to me and BS is stomping around my home mad at me... i feel like im losing my mind here and need an outside opinion. im here to answer questions but thats my story. so AITA or am i Justified?",AITA or is would u be mad too?,NTA
10wq9iy,"Please note that the prices reflect local price of labour but the currency's been changed. Also, English isn't my first language. Now, to the story.My bro (a cousin) and I rented a place where the front door's knob lock was in bad shape. After some time the lock became totally nonfunctional.So we went to a store and bought a new knob lock. About 100 yards from our flat, a lock serviceman saw the new lock in my hands, introduced himself and asked if we needed lock replacement service. We said, ""Sure, follow us."" without much thinking.So the guy came with us. We showed him the hole in our door where the old lock used to be, and asked him what he'd charge for the job. The guy demanded 5 pounds.Now, to say that bro and I were financially broke would be understatement. We were students. We both knew some trades as our family is full of engineers and mechanics, but had no licenses of our own (this will be important later).  So we were struggling, juggling jobs and trying to make ends meet. But the market was down, and we were several months overdue in our rent alone. So, when we heard that the lock replacement service would require more than the lock itself, we both laughed hard.We told the guy that we would pay only 50 pence. Not only because the 5 pound demand was unpayable for us, but also because we ""thought"" we knew exactly how much labour is needed to put a lock into a door hole. The guy politely told us off for wasting his time. He left, and we were actually relieved that he didn't demand payment for coming along. We opened the lock box, and the first thing came out of it was a manual. Bingo! Bro read the manual, and realized that the job was even easier than we initially thought it was.Five minutes later, the new lock started it's duty. Alas, the lock serviceman couldn't know that, because when he returned after being gone for 8 minutes, he couldn't see it, as I stood in front of our door blocking the lock from view.""Alright!"" He said. ""I'll do it for 50.""""Do what for 50?"" I asked.""The lock. I'll replace it for 50.""Now my bro said politely, ""Sorry but we've already replaced it ourselves."" He hauled my ass from the front of the door to show the lock guy our handiwork.The guy just said, ""Oh!"" and left the building.I feel bad about the incident. Maybe that guy needed those 50 pence. In hindsight, we did something wrong by not negotiating the job earlier and bringing him along.So, what's your opinion Reddit? Were we the assholes?",AITA for bringing someone along for a job but not hiring due to price?,NTA
10wcfpp,"So, I was at work and one of my coworkers was making an insensitive comment about the recent event in Turkey saying “ah what happened in Turkey was so great right!?”. In the heat of the moment I made a remark, saying ""with God's help, it should happen to you too"". He got very upset and told me I shouldn't speak up when I wasn't asked to. He always just yells out random racist shit and hates when I call him out. (I also do not believe in god but I know he does)I now realize that my comment was inappropriate because I did Linda curse him, I don’t feel too bad but I also keep thinking about it. I don't want to cause any trouble at work, but at the same time I don't want to just let people make comments like that without saying anything.So, AITA for what I said?",AITA for making a insensitive comment at work?,NTA
10wania,"Hi everyone. First time poster and on mobile so please ignore small mistakes. I’m a high functioning Aspy so I’m hoping I’m not missing some obvious social cues here 👀​I’m a Senior Postdoc in a university biology lab. I have been here for just over 3 years now. Everyone in our lab works as a team regardless of job and this usually works very well. Our lab has two assigned offices, one that seats 3 and one that seats 5. Our desks are assigned so no desk sharing. I have been at the same desk since starting this job. Everyone except for me also has designated lab space to carry out experiments. I’m a data scientist so all of my work is desktop computer based. I share this office with two other Postdocs.​Last week, I was at a meeting and when I returned, I was told our office was being used for a virtual meeting by two PhD students. The PhDs circulated an email asking if “(we) were in our office” about 15 min before showing up. As I was in a different meeting, I did not see this nor have time to respond. I was told that the two PhD students then arrived at our office with their laptops and coffees and proceeded with their meeting.​I was waiting for about 45 min in their office for them to finish. When they got back, I tried to explain that I wasn’t happy with the situation as my entire work bench was inaccessible. Their office was not being used as all others were at their lab benches. One of the PhDs then laughed at me (derisively) while telling me “it’s not just your office it’s the lab’s office”. When I rebutted that with “if you’re in my space, it’s the equivalent of me taking your lab bench”, they told me that neither of their headphone jacks worked so they needed our office to use loudspeaker. They also told me that I should have just moved them out of the office. I told them that I wasn’t happy and to wait for a response in future. Afterwards, I sent an email to the entire lab (with the PI copied) asking people to not use my space unless they ask and I get time to respond.​When telling them I wasn’t happy, I did not raise my voice. I eat lunch with everyone on a daily basis and I genuinely do like them so I did not want to cause friction.​I did not enter our office during their meeting to move them as their projects are part of a consortium, and if meeting many people, I assumed this would be unprofessional on my behalf and embarrassing on their behalf (and our PIs behalf). There are two meeting rooms that can be reserved for virtual calls just down the hall. Neither of them were in use.​I received a sharpish email from our PI this morning wishing to discuss what had happened. All PhDs have weekly meetings on Mondays so I’m guessing this was discussed.​AITA here or did I handle this poorly? I did not pass this up to the PI as I assumed this was a small issue and had considered it dealt with once I sent the email.",AITA for asking my coworkers not to use my space without asking?,NTA
10wg59w,"My manager is retiring. The job listing for his position is on the HR ""Job Listings"" page. I'm sure it's on Indeed or ZipRecruiter as well.  I'd like to take the position. The company has to make the job listing public for a certain amount of time for whatever legal reasons. My manager thinks I'll be great for the job. Here's my moral/ethical problem: Whoever posted the job on the HR site did a bad job of it. The position I want has no title. The first paragraph is left over from a different position we've already filled. The jump button at the top of the page that lists the different departments does not jump for my division. I could point all this out, but that might mean that someone scanning the page would have a better chance of finding it. It might be the person who is best suited to take the position, who would be better for the company.AITH for keeping my mouth shut?",AITA for not pointing out the mangled job listing on my employer's website because I want the job?,NTA
10wlrt7,"I (16F) have a rocky relationship with my parents. They both come from bad homes so we're sort of learning as they parented me. I mostly raised myself and went through the process of learning to drive and getting my first job completely on my own. I've always provided for myself beyond my basic needs, and have bought all my own clothes and such since I've gotten a job.It's important to know some background for the story.1) I've been forced into using a barely functional bathroom since I was around 10. As in rust, some mold, half usable sink and a shower that's completely broken.2) I spent 6 years waiting for renovations to be done to the bathroom, ones that were promised would be done multiple times. No changes have been made since I began using it. I got over wanting a better bathroom last year and stopped asking.3) my parents have a very nice, finished bathroom. It's the nicest room in the house and has heating and cooling.4) My parents have begun discussing making renovations to the house in addition to buying my mom a car while I get her old one.Tonight I was at one of my sports practices and my dad was talking about me learning to drive and getting my permit soon to the other parents. I used this as an opening to ask him when we would possibly be getting a new car for my mom and when I'd be able to drive myself places. His reaction was saying that I could either have a new bathroom or a new car. This conversation continued into a cafe where we were going to grab dinner. He said this in a serious tone and I explained that I'd rather have a car that would last me through college then a bathroom for a year and a half.My dad cut me off and began explaining how he planned to renovate the bathroom and things he was looking into. I explained that what he had in mind wasn't what I'd want. (like he wants to fully redo the shower with glass and I'd like to keep it the same just make it workable with a new curtain). He cut me off again and explained that we would be doing my bathroom his way when he wanted it and that he'd be doing it himself. I became upset and stopped talking, I didn't have the appetite to finish my food. He spent the rest of the meal rambling about how bad my timing was and that I should just be thankful for the renovation.He must've texted my mom because when she got home she was mad at me. She said I should be happy with any renovations in the first place and that I shouldn't purposely upset my dad. I'll admit sometimes I do antagonize him but I have no idea what I did in this scenario. I've been trying to figure out what I did wrong for a few hours because I just want us to stop fighting.",AITA For Arguing With My Dad?,YTA
10wlqaj,My dad and I have been arguing/fighting a lot. I’m 17F and a senior in high school. Our relationship which is normally very good has been rocky because of the fights. They’re over stupid stuff usually like college apps and hanging out with my friends. I honestly don’t know why we keep fighting so much but ever since I started senior year it’s been so constant.At dinner yesterday again we had a big fight. Again it was over stupid stuff. It blew up and then my dad told me to go to my room and took away my car keys. I gave him the silent treatment today and got a ride to school with my friend. While my friend was driving me to her house after school my dad sent me this text.“Hey [name]. I know you’re still upset about what happened yesterday night and I want to explain my side. I felt disrespected and hurt by what you said and by your name calling. Especially in front of [little brother’s name]. I know I didn’t react perfectly to the situation. I’d like you not to say things to me in the spirit of anger meant just to hurt me because it is devastating to hear. Can you see why I am upset too about last night?”I honestly did not know what to reply to this message and i was also very annoyed by it because 1) there was no apology at all about his part in the fight other than his acknowledgement of not reacting “perfectly” 2) it sounded like he just wanted me to apologize and admit that all of it was my fault. Which it was not. My friend and I were also in the middle of a convo so I replied with a thumbs-up emoji to acknowledge that I got his message and read it.2 hours later my dad sent me an angry text about how my thumbs up emoji reply was rude and dismissive and when I replied ‘?’ he told me to forget it.My friend dropped me off at my house and my dad is being short with me. It suits me fine since I think he’s an AH I’d rather not talk to but I don’t get why he’s so angry. I didn’t have time to draft up a long letter to him in reply nor did I know what to say nor did I even want to engage with him in text. He should be grateful I replied instead of just ignoring it? AITA for replying with the thumbs-up?,AITA for “thumbs-upping” my dad as a reply to his text?,YTA
10wpp6r,"I just made a post like 22 hours ago and I’m making another one because I feel guilty over a lot of things that may not be on me and I need an opinion that isn’t biased against me or with me.Like in my previous post I’m 14F. I have had a very difficult past 3 years like most kids but definitely amplified as I was dealing with more than a pandemic. For reference some of the things that have happened to me are my parents separating and then 5 days later everything shuts down due to COVID. Started at a new school, 2 of my grandparents died, got a new stepdad and 3 step siblings from him along with two step siblings in law and a nephew set to be born in the next 2 weeks. A new stepmom and 2 other step siblings. I got very depressed and dealt with other mental health issues. Also my dad isn’t a great guy and I came to that realization about 2 years agoI try to talk to my mom about how I’m feeling and she always tries to interrupt or guilt me. She tried to solve my problems in an almost insensitive way instead of just letting me talk to her. I understand she wants to help me but it really doesn’t and I’ve expressed that. I’m not skinny and I’m not conventionally attractive whatsoever. I struggle with self image and binge eating. I’m also ADHD and life has just been a lot lately. I don’t get to see my therapist very often (every other week) which leads to me needing to talk to someone in between. She makes me feel bad for talking to her and it’s really bothering me (along with almost everything else in my life but that’s whatever). I’m just wondering if I’m the problem and just can’t see it because I think I’ve had that problem in the past.",AITA for trying to vent my feelings to my mom,NTA
10wnua8,"My husband (31M) and me (30F) have been married for 7 years and honestly really enjoy each other and rarely fight. We have a grand vision of how we want to build our lives and both know it will take hard work to get there. But... his lack of work ethic (or our mismatch of work ethic?) is driving me bananas...I currently have 2 full-time jobs and tbh... I'm crushing both of them. I get great feedback from both of my bosses and while I have a lot of meetings I manage my busy schedule well. In addition to two full-time corporate jobs, I am also getting my master's degree at a top university. Additionally, with my second income, I have been using the money to bootstrap and build a side business that needs a lot of capital upfront, but I have been able to be completely solo so far. I have a clear understanding of the hard work needed to get to our future and am doing everything I possibly can to get us there ASAP.My husband currently works a great job, and he is also crushing it. He gets promoted almost yearly and I can see that he is valuable to his company. He is also way too smart for his job and when he sits down to work he can crank out a week of work in 2 hours. (The kind of natural smart who got 90% percentile on the LSAT without studying...)He's just not a goal-oriented person and doesn't actively work toward making the most of his time. He rarely starts work before 10am (& is done by 3pm for a job that takes his coworkers 10+hours a day), he has maybe 1 meeting a day, but he spends sooo much time on his phone & video games. For more than 6 months he has talked about starting an Etsy shop, but never does a single thing to make it happen. I will note since my 2nd job, he does do more of the household day-to-day like laundry, but we have a cleaner 2x a month (that I schedule) and I still do all the family social planning etc.I've repeatedly asked him for help with my side business as I know he will be incredibly helpful and his response is ""I don't have time"". It's frustrating to me that I feel like I am the only one working towards our grand future, and while I have his emotional support (I know he is proud of me), I don't feel like he is utilizing his full potential for our family.AITA for feeling so frustrated by his lack of motivation & effort?",AITA for being frustrated with my husband's lack of work ethic?,YTA
10wnpsd,"I am dropping off my daughter(5yo) at gymnastics, parking lot is full but people are leaving as it’s between classes. I park in the first spot which is directly across from the entrance to gymnastics. I get my daughter out and start to walk across the parking lot, a truck pulls up behind me and the guy in the truck says I’m parked in his spot for his business. I say ok but I’m just dropping my daughter off and I’ll be right back, he said he will block me in and I said ok I’ll be right back. I come back not even 5 minutes later and he has blocked me in(I expected) but he is not in his truck so at this point I’m just like whatever I’ll just stay and he’ll probably move before I leave since more spots open up. 1 hour and 20 minutes go by and he is still blocking me in and I can’t get out. I walk out there and first thing I look for is if there is a no parking sign, there is one but off to the side. Not directly in front of the spot. I honestly didn’t even see it when I pulled in. I go up to the business door and ask him if he can move his truck and he said sorry I’m busy. I said “seriously, I have my daughter” then he says “so it’s a priority for me to move my truck now but it wasn’t a priority for you to move yours when I asked” after a quick back and forth of really not much worthy content, he moved his truck.","AITA, Dropping off my daughter at gymnastics",YTA
10wrhcx,"Some backstory: I (28F) met me boyfriend, Draco (29M) about a year and a half ago when we met a a job we worked at in different departments. I no longer work there but he still does and I'm close with the people who work in the department I worked in, even the new people. He lives with me now, and has his own key to our apartment. He is the only person aside from me that has a key. A few months ago, he told me that one of the people in the department I worked, Rayna (28F), that I knew and was friends with outside of him, was living out of her car. Being as it's winter, it made me feel bad for her and I offered her my couch for her stay.One thing about Rayna is that she's had a lot of issues that won't go into a lot of details about, but most of which revolves around her boyfriend, Brady (29?M). I've been patient with it for the most part but it's a very obvious toxic relationship on both parts, mostly his but I only have her side to go off of, so I can't say for sure.However, as a little side note, Brady was into me for a while before I got with Draco. Once Draco and I got together, he resented us both. This is kind of important if you're reading the whole thing. He didn't want to talk to either of us and gave us both the cold shoulder basically because I reacted him for my own reasons.Anwyay, Rayna has been staying with Draco and I on and off for a while, and the nights she doesn't stay with us, sometimes she takes Draco's key. The first time she did this, she didn't even come back. The second time, she came back super late and my dogs flipped out.I talked with her about this both times stating I wasn't okay with it because I have neighbors within a close vicinity and always actively try to not disturb them.The third time, she came back late but made sure to leave Draco's key because he needed to work early and I like to be sure both of my locks are locked. I was okay with this and felt that she was making an active effort.Tonight, she took his key and I asked she make sure he has it back tonight so he doesn't stress about not having it tomorrow. She ensured she would. That was as 10-11 PM. It is now 3:30 AM with no word from her.",AITA for not wanting my house guest to do whatever they want?,NTA
10wp8yi,"Long story short, May said she was ""done wrong "" by her friends husband the morning after they hung out and drank (she slept over). She said she woke up to some aggressive behavior while May was outside smoking. May told her friend (Bay) what happened, who talked to her husband. May got a text from the husband saying he was too drunk to know what he was doing and would never do that. Based on what May told me, I very much think he knew just didn't think he would get exposed. Either way Bay stopped taking to May and pretended like nothing happened/had a small disagreement. Now Bay wants to go out for coffee because she misses her best friend and is sad. May is contemplating the meet up, but I said screw this, either she believes you or him. And if Bay is still with him, she thinks May is lying, or she needs May to validate her choice to stay with him. I said, ""Mess everything up and throw the friendship away"" but maybe I was too hard?",AITA for telling my friend to NC with that friendship,INFO
10wp27m,"      I(21m) met a girl(21f) at my work. For some context, I've never been in a relationship or even had a girlfriend, so I may not be the best at picking up non verbal communications in that regard but am far from being socially inept or disconnected. After a couple days of seeing and talking with her, I asked her for her number and if she'd ever like to hang out outside of where I work     She said she was down but did let me know right off the bat that she has a boyfriend. Obviously that wasn't what I wanted to hear but given that I practically have no friends I genuinely was okay with just hanging out as pals     Anyway, time goes on, we've hung out a couple times, grabbed lunch, went on a hike, worked out together. I obviously still think she's cute and like her, that didn't change, but was under the impression that those feelings were not mutual, which is honestly fine with me! Yes I thought she was cute when I asked her if she wanted to hang out, no I did not kick her to the curb when she was and turned out to have a bf... should I have?      The problem I have now is I'm confused. She's telling me she has a boyfriend but goes out of her way to make time to hang out with me. I told her the other day I was sick and she was pretty much like, I don't care let's still kick it.  She has always talked to me in a manner that is not reflective of her having a boyfriend, which I didn't think much of until someone mentioned to me today, ""doesn't she have a boyfriend?"". I said yeah what's the problem, we're just talking. ""Well she's not talking to you like she has a boyfriend""     I have not directly asked about her boyfriend, because I honestly didn't care, but it is starting to make me feel a little slimey as I spend more time with her. She asked me the other day, ""don't you think its weird I have a boyfriend?"" And I somehow didn't quite understand that was her trying to bring it up and quickly replied with, ""no I don't think that's weird, you can have a boyfriend if you'd like""     Idk, I'm confused. It feels like I've done nothing wrong but I do see how things look and wanted to make sure I wouldn't be way out of line to say something like, ""hey you're really cool and I do enjoy hanging out with you, but it just feels like I am stepping over the line with this whole boyfriend thing, what does he think of us hanging out?""","AITA for hanging out with girl who has a bf, but really wants to hang out with me?",NTA
10wc1hb,"My (26F) husband (26M) has a 7-5 job and works out of the house M-F, I am a SAHM to a 2.5yo and a 6mo. Tonight my husband and I got into an argument because I “snapped” at him. The argument occurred because my 2.5yo has created a habit of getting out of her bed when she’s put down for naps or bed. Before when she would do this, we wouldn’t react or come to get her right away we would simply wait a few minutes and she would return to her room and go to sleep. However, within the last week she hasn’t been returning to bed. She will either stand at the top of the stairs waiting for us, yell for us, or she will open every door upstairs looking for us. This has become an issue as her 6mo sister also sleeps upstairs and when she yells or opens all the doors it wakes her up. Tonight about 30 minutes after we put her down for bed, she was up. We have a security camera in her room so my husband pulled up the feed and was watching. I looked over and told him he would most likely need to go get her, he stated he was waiting for her to return to her room, to which I said “she doesn’t do that anymore”. He ignored me and kept watching the feed, I again reiterated “she doesn’t do that anymore”. After a few more moments and realizing he wasn’t going to get up I was frustrated and said “fine I’ll go get her”. This set him off. He told me he was tired of my shitty attitude and the way I talk to him. He stormed upstairs and told me he wasn’t coming back down and he didn’t want to see me anymore. Once we both cooled off a bit I tried asking him why he was so mad, he said I yell at him all the time and don’t allow him to make parenting decisions. He said I snapped at him and he didn’t deserve to be talked to that way. I will admit I was frustrated in the moment and my tone may not have been very kind, but I personally think I was justified in my frustration. So AITA for snapping at my husband?",AITA for snapping at my husband?,YTA
10woqkm,"My ex-friend (let’s call her Tara) has 2 children, a *now* 7-year old daughter and a 4 year old daughter. I have been very present in their lives and cultivated a beautiful relationship with them as their auntie. Tara & I had been friends (on&off) for 15 years. Her selfish attitude never sat right with me, and when I addressed it usually led to a fall out. But when I found out she was having a kid, my tolerance for her ways grew immensely and I rarely addressed her about them anymore because of my relationship with her kids. That mattered to me more than anything. The past 6.5 years have been all about Tara & her children. Her child’s father is a piece of shit, so I showed up as much as I could for them. I’m talking weekly movie nights, emergency contact at schools, showing up to events when Tara couldn’t (and always front and center with her if she could) etc. I usually have an uneventful life and rarely need support, so I just assumed that Tara would show up for me if I ever needed her. Boy was I wrong. Last year, my mom got sick with cancer. Over the course of 5 months, I watched my superhero become frail and weak. She died in my arms. And that’s when I realized how one-sided my “friendship” with Tara was. She was barely a friend to me during that time, so I distanced myself. For the first time during our friendship that I truly needed her support - I realized that if wasn’t about her or her children, it didn’t matter to her. After months of contemplation, therapy and learning that I deserve reciprocity, I ended the friendship. I knew that I would now have to grieve my mom & my relationship with those beautiful children since they aren’t old enough for me to have a relationship with them with minimal contact with Tara. I hadn’t gotten around to blocking everyone, and on her daughters 7th birthday - her daughter FaceTimed me. I was asleep and woke up to the missed call and burst into tears. My therapist and I both agreed that calling back would do more harm than good for my healing, but a mutual friend of mine recently called me a big AH because the daughter has nothing to do with it… and now, I’m questioning myself so I figured i’d ask Reddit. AITA?",AITA for not calling my ex-friend’s daughter back on her birthday?,NTA
10w7rco,"So my mums dryer  hasn't been working properly for a while now,  yesterday I was told this guy would come around to fix it around 7 to 11am now my whole family was gone by 8.30 maybe 9 ish ,I figured setting my alarm to 9 am would be enough , nope this guy shows up at 8.50 am ten minutes later I would of been up and ten mins before my family would if been home but no , he didn't call my mum untill after he said he was leaving,  if mum had called me because he needed in I would of  woken up but he didn't and now my mum is mad at me for bit being up and us needing  to reschedule the appinment aita for ni t being awake ?IMPORTANT EDIT: I wasn't aware of the time he could show up I was just told he would show up before 11 , that is how I thought this conversation went but my mother's swaers she said 7 to 11 so I don't know if  my brain is just blocking that out",AITA because I wasn't awake when they handyman showed up?,YTA
10w7bwt,"I (17m) have never been one to want to go to church (although I am a Christian). Recently, old family friends reached out to me on social media, and we talked for a little bit. They said I should come with them to church sometime, and when I told them “No thank you, church isn’t my thing. I appreciate the invitation,”. The husband (let’s call him Tyler, not his real name but I will not be giving out any names), seemed offended and said, “You would think differently if you were to attend church,”.  I brought up to him that my friend (let’s call him Harvey) is an atheist, and hates church. Tyler said “Well your friend needs to have someone show him Jesus,”I got annoyed, and didn’t contact Tyler for a month. Then Tyler asked me “Have you found a church yet? You should come with us,”. I told him to stop talking about church, as I don’t want to go to one. Then Tyler started saying I need baptized to accept Jesus as my savior, and to start going to youth group, and told me to go to church with him and his wife. I told him to shut up, and to stop talking about church, and the following week he invited me over to dinner. I said okay, and blocked him on social media ( I never showed up).",AITA for telling old family friends to shut up about me not going to church?,NTA
10wfb83,"So I (22m) was going with three of my buddies (also all my age) to “Jen’s” (22f) apartment. For context I don’t know Jen’s but she’s one of my good friends’ close friends and she told him he could bring us over. Jen lives alone. So in our city there’s a popular day for day drinking and me and my two buddies headed to her place to play drinking games for a few hours before hitting up the bar. Pretty early into a game of beer pong Jen accidentally knocked some cups over me and the other friend she didn’t know. It kinda soaked our pants in beer and made us look kind of ridiculous when we had planned on going out. We assured her it was fine (she was hosting us after all) and planned to Uber back the fifteen minutes to my place to change and then come back. She was so apologetic and told us that that wasn’t necessary and she could wash them here and then they’d be ready by the time we went out. I asked her if she had a towel or a pair of pants I could wear to cover myself and she said nothing that would fit and it’s not a big deal. She asked if we had boxers on and my buddy said yes and I think I said “well I have underwear on, yea” and she told us it wasn’t a big deal to her to see some guys in boxers and had us put our pants in the wash. My friend was wearing boxer briefs and I was wearing briefs (if someone isn’t familiar with the difference between those and boxers ask in the comments and I’ll do my best to explain) so I guess neither of us were actually wearing boxers (they were dark colored if that makes a difference).  She didn’t say anything and put our pants in the wash and we went back to playing but now two of us had no pants. Between washing and drying it was probably an hour (estimating) before we got our pants back. Jen was kind of drunk at this point and when she took our pants out she looked at me and said “now you won’t be so pervy looking anymore.”  I was embarrassed and said I thought she said it was okay. She said she thought I had been wearing “normal guy underwear.”  It was kind of awkward and I ended up ubering home while everyone else went out. AITA?",AITA for not specifying I wear briefs before taking my pants off?,NTA
10wohad,"For context it will be my brother’s 16th birthday in a few days and what he wanted for his gift is a paid trip to Disneyland for him and his gf. My dad agreed to pay for the whole thing for him and his gf, tickets, food and other stuff. My dad asked me if I can give them a ride to Disneyland on a Monday but I said no because I have two classes that day in the morning. He’s just begging me saying “come one do this one favor for me” and at first I was actually considering it but my brother is an asshole to me and now he wants me to take him to Disneyland which is a 2 hr trip! My dad can’t take him because our dad doesn’t live with us he lives far away, and my dad doesn’t want to be asking my mom for favors since they’re divorced. Now my dad is saying that I’m going to ruin my brothers birthday because I won’t skip 1 day of class to take him to Disneyland. It’s not that I don’t want to skip class, I’m actually ahead in my classes and can afford to miss 1 day, it’s just that my brother treats me so badly and now he’s asking me for a favor??For context I ask my brother “how’s your day going” and he tells me to get out of his face and to stop talking to him. I told my brother that I won’t be taking him and now he’s threatening me saying that he’s going to spit on my food when I’m not looking and spit on the water bottles I take to school.I know he’s young and all but I still feel that doesn’t excuse his behavior. Whenever I tell my parents how he treats me they just say “oh he’s just at that age rn” I’m sick of hearing that excuse! Now my dad is bribing me saying that he will do one payment for my car note if I take him. I am more than capable to pay for my car and it just annoys me that my dad is bribing me to take my brother when he won’t simply just talk to my brother and ask him why he treats me like dirt.",AITA for not giving my brother a ride to Disneyland?,NTA
10w6odt,"I have a couple of friends that are self-proclamed foodies. Everything that they consume must be the very best, with locally sources ingredients, high-cost materials, etc. You get the picture.I am a cook/baker, but I've never claimed to be good at it. I've cooked for them a few times, and always, they critique it as though I am some hopeful on Bake-off or some such show. Despite how cruel their remarks can be, they insist that they do this with everyone, and I shouldn't take it personally. I have stopped inviting them over, or even discussing cooking with them. Basically ghosting them. I am also from a culture that is often mocked in mainstream media, so sometimes, I like to make recipes from a set of recipes that remind me of my grandmother's cooking. This couple, the husband in particular, LOVE to appropriate and pretend that they love my culture while simultaneously making jokes about it. Recently, I posted a recipe that I want to make passed down from my grandmother, which was passed from her mother and so on. The husband sees it, and offers to buy the ingredients so that I can make it, with the implication that I will share. I ignore him. He buys the ingredients, and now expects me to make this for he and his wife, and I'm positive they will be rude about this simple recipe that honestly, a lot of people don't care for. It's a recipe that you kind of have to grow up eating to enjoy, so I'm positive that they won't like it. Am I being a paranoid A-hole, or is this a sincere try to reconcile?",AITA It's not a cooking show!?,NTA
10whfhs,"Backstory: I've been with my gf for 10+ years, we have a son (3) and another on the way soon.We have a 8 year old dog that has been with us since pup and recently (2ish years ago) we adopted an older (5ish) cat.My GF was a big advocate for getting the cat shortly after we got our son.First year everything was alright, but the past year or so, she's been getting more and more frustrated with the cat, because of it walking in places it shouldn't - mainly the kitchen table and below our bed.It's getting to the point where she's talking about having it put down, which I think is plain wrong.The cat is really gentle and doesn't scratch or bite anything she shouldn't, she will let the kid carry it around (although trying to avoid him it seems).Our dog on the other hand is a small dog, very reserved. He makes sure to let our son know when he's getting too close, mainly by growling.He has however on two occasions actually bit him. Not enough to break skin, but enough to leave a mark for some time.These things happen when the kid starts running around and suddenly changes direction and chases the dog or even strikes out at it.This has gotten to the point where she's talking about putting down both pets - or she's talking about leaving me and taking the kid(s) with her after I called her cynical and I told her couldn't understand she'd do that to our pets.She's been threatening that I wouldn't be able to stop her when I'm at work one day.So the question, AITA here for trying to stick up for the pets to not have them put down?",AITA for calling my pregnant girlfriend cynical?,NTA
10wqjfu,"Thought I had already made up my mind in this but can't sleep and keep thinking about it and thought I should ask the internet. am I the asshole for abandoning my father? Growing up he always had this ""violence is never the answer"" mindset and I always admired that up until the point I became an adult and realized he didn't mean it in that way. To put it bluntly my dad is an extreme pushover guess you'd call it. You could hit him, yell at him, hit and run, steal, etc. And he still wouldn't do anything about it. He refuses to stand up for himself. I won't say what I think about that because you really don't want to know but almost since day one of me realizing it I was there fixing things for him. At first I didn't care, didn't like people getting away with crap but eventually it got annoying as hell. In more recent times it has been discovered someone close to dad has been stealing from him. Dad has refused to do anything about it and like always I get a call from mom telling me about it and that I should do something about it. That's when I told her I didn't give a crap anymore. He clearly doesn't care about his own money so why should I? In general at this point I'm exhausted of having to be the one to stand up for his father when he doesn't even want. Moms like ""so you're really just going to let this go? Don't you feel bad?"" I do but I have my own life I can't be there every time an injustice is committed and the person has no interest in defending himself. I have absolutely no idea what else to say about it.","AITA for ""abandoning"" my father?",NTA
10wqjb9,"AITA for refusing to sign ""company policy"" update forms when they clearly change the terms of my employment duties?So (M38) I've been working for this company for ten years, and they've done this kind of thing a few times now. Early in my career I was more willing to let things slide (late paychecks, manager overreach/micromanagement) because I was young and eager, but as of late I'm starting to feel the burnout from the day to day grind and I'm looking for my way out of the ""rat race"" that is lower middle class existence. I see the kids these days taking to their phones and I see people making money doing silly things on either Twitch or TikTok, so I decided it would be foolish to remain under the rock. I build band instruments for a living, which is an interesting thing to watch, and figure I'd do well and it would be worth a shot.....if my streams aren't successful I've wasted an hour or so, no big deal.....So I approach the manager, who's also a friend of mine, and I tell him ""I'd like to shoot some streaming videos at the shop if that's OK, it'll never affect my workload."" Dude agrees as long as I don't use the name of the store or the names of any of our customers, perfectly reasonable. I should have gotten this in writing......A year later it's finally taking off. I have a decent following and can finally go live on TikTok and accept gifts! All this hard work is finally paying off, or so I thought.Couple weeks later I get a company memo forbidding the use of video streaming services, now we're only allowed to use our phones for music or texting. I talk to that same manager about this and was immediately given the talk about how my productivity could be higher if I wasn't always on my phone. I refuse to sign the memo as I've never missed a deadline unless it was crazy unreasonable, and I'm now accused of ""not being a team player.""I'm not sure what they're thinking here, but I'm sure it's because they didn't for a second think I'd go viral hard enough for it to make a difference. I'm from the camp where if you're going to ask me to do more work you're going to offer me more money, but was told they would not pay me more money just to not fiddle with my phone so much.Am I the @$$hole for refusing to sign this?",AITA Boss Changes their Mind,NTA
10wo24z,"I (f29) am a fully functional potty trained adult (with ADHD). I am living with my wonderful fiancé(m28) and we are getting married this year after living and dating for many years prior.I have a problem where once or twice a month I forget to flush after I go #1. He is always great about putting the seat down, so it’s all the more embarrassing for me.  When I have done it, he ALWAYS makes a comment that I forget to flush. I want to be better, but in the meantime AITA and do I need to be concerned?",AITA for leaving pee in the toilet,NAH
10wm5vu,"For context me and my fiance are staying at her mom's house. They have 3 dogs who all only eat human food. I don't agree with this, but there is no changing their mind... Tonight after a long days work I made a sandwich for myself for dinner. That's it, just one sandwich nothing else to go with it. The rest of the family was eating fish, but I couldn't have that sense I'm allergic. After I made my sandwich and stood to eat in the kitchen sense the table was full, they started saying. Oh this dog loves sandwiches. Give her some. I was like uh, this is my dinner I'm not sharing my whole one sandwich with a dog. It's all I made to eat. They kept pressing me to give the dog my sandwich so I ended up giving her 3/4 of my sandwich because I just didn't want to argue anymore. Now I have nothing left to make for dinner and I'm just gonna go to bed hungry. They think I'm an asshole because I didn't want to share my food with the dog. So, am I the asshole?",AITA For not wanting to share my sandwich with the dog?,NTA
10wqdv2,"I (23f) am graduating undergrad this upcoming May. I have a full time job set up for me already. My dad thought that since it’s possibly the last time I will be able to easily match up with my parents and sisters schedule we should go on a big trip. I kind of wanted to go with my friends but he was so sentimental about it being a “family trip” and ho our family hasn’t been on a trip with just us. For the record, my parents are truly miserable to each other and often scream and fight and I am usually not around them that long because I can’t. My little sister (19f) is a freshman in college. When we were planning this trip she asked if she can bring her boyfriend (17m) 17!!! Who she has known for a year. He is a Senior in high school. I told her Please do not leave me to hangout with mom and dad alone. This was around November and she told me she wouldn’t and laughed. Flash forward to today, my dad calls me and says he booking flights and my sisters bf will be going. I genuinely think she purposely did not let me find out until the day of booking flights. I said what? Are you paying for him? He said yes .I said can I bring a friend then? And he said you are being so difficult and why am I acting like this.just the round trip flight is $700 and he’s paying for this for him!. I got upset and texted my sister do you even feel guilty you bring this boy everywhere and dad pays for everything, and that I I will just go with my friends if this isn’t a “family event” and I will basically be third wheeling teenagers. Her and my dad said I’m overreacting and being a jerk. Building up to this my dad also gives my sister so much spending money a month that she basically has a savings account of his money, and she has never had a job while I have worked since 17.  She also constantly brings him out to eat with my parents and they both order the most expensive items with no shame. I am expected to always have a job and pay my way. AITA?Edit: I’m not disturbed by her age gap relationship I just prefer not to hangout with a 17 year old boy",AITA for not wanting to third wheel teenagers ?,NTA
10wo0no,"My(f17) parents got me a puppy a few months ago. Their only condition was that I share all responsibilities relating to him and I agreed. When we got the puppy, he was only around a month old. So obviously it peed, pooped, vomitted anywhere anytime. At first I had absolutely no problem with it and cleaned up after him whenever needed. He also peed on me multiple times lol. So anyways now he's mostly trained to poop outside but sometimes accidents happen and he's a puppy who's cuteness melts everyone's annoyance or anger. We know poop stinks..and recently it has become unbearable to me to the point that I vomitted the last three times I tried. I still clean it whenever my parents are not around but it was mutually agreed that if they are in the house then they would relieve me of that duty. In return I took on some more responsibilities relating to him. Our maid- lets call her mary-  is not asked to clean up after him. So if she sees that the dog has pooped anywhere, she just comes and informs one of us. Yesterday our dog pooped in two places in the same room. Mary saw and informed my father. But father only saw one place and somehow missed the other. I was in another room and was not aware of any of this..infact I thought my father was not at home at all. So when Mary came and told me that the dog had done his business in the room again, I just went ahead and cleaned it up..and vomitted yet again. Now the last two times I vomitted cuz of the stink, Mary was present. So later when I came to know that my father was present at the house during that time I asked her why she would ask me when clearly father was at home? She told me how the dog had pooped in two places and father cleaned only one and she did'nt want to annoy father a second time. I did'nt respond further and later ranted to my mother about this. She tells me that I should'nt have confronted Mary about this and That I'm an AH. But I just don't understand why, knowing that I would vomit, she would ask me to do the job just because she did'nt want to ""annoy"" my father.Sorry for the long rant.AITA?",AITA for confronting our maid?,YTA
10wj7h5,"I (21F) am in my last year of nursing school. We do simulations, about 3-4 every semester. For those that don’t know, simulation is a patient scenario that you do with a mannequin. For example, today me and two other of my peers came in to the mannequin coughing (one of the instructors controls the mannequin and uses a microphone and speaker to “speak”) and having low oxygen. We had to figure out why. The mannequin had a chest tube and it was kinked. We figured it out and the mannequin didn’t die so all is well! Now this is where I feel like the asshole. We are assigned “roles”. One of my peers was “primary nurse” which means they make the decisions and delegate tasks. I was “secondary nurse” which I basically just aid the “primary nurse”. Then there is a “float nurse” who just kinda fills in the gaps and does whatever “primary” and “secondary” ask. Lastly we had two “rapid nurses” that came in if we called if the mannequin/patient is about code/not doing well. The mannequin had an oxygen saturation of 79% on 15 liters of oxygen. Which is very concerning and indicates for us to call the “rapid” nurses. They come into the simulation room and they didn’t know what to do either like us so the “float nurse” asks if we should call the doctor. I respond yes. The “primary nurse” then turns to me and says, “Am I the primary nurse or are you?”. I was taken aback by this because usually in simulation the roles kinda get thrown out the window and we all just work together to get everything resolved. I didn’t respond and moved on. Idk if they were joking or serious tbh but I feel like I overstepped a line. I then replayed the simulation in my head later today and I did change the mannequins/patients oxygen mask from a nasal cannula to a non-rebreather so I could turn the oxygen way up since their oxygen was so low. I did this without asking the “primary nurse” which I didn’t think was a big deal but after their comment I think they might’ve taken offense since “primary” is supposed to be the decision maker. I know I am probably overthinking and its not a big deal but I have known this peer for a long time from school and we have every class but 1 together and I don’t want them to think negatively about me.AITA?",AITA for taking “charge” during a nursing school simulation?,YTA
10wd5b5,"Throwaway since my colleagues know my mainFor some background: my husband ""Grant"" \[28M\] and I \[27F\] just returned from our honeymoon. Grant is my best friend and the love of my life; we have been together for 7 years and just got married.On our first day (Friday), while aboard the shuttle that takes us from the airport to our hotel, we met ""Nancy"" \[29F\].We hit it off immediately and spent the whole hour long shuttle ride chatting with her. Nancy is a lovely woman, she had the most riveting travel stories to tell. She saved up for this trip for a year, and was excited after losing her job and going through a tough breakup.When we reached out hotel, she asked (kind of self-invited) herself to dinner with us. Grant and I made awkward eye contact, he said were tired from the flight and wanted to rest. She seemed disappointed, so we exchanged numbers and invited her to a group tour on Sunday, then parted ways.Saturday morning, Grant and I ran into Nancy at breakfast. She immediately sat down with us and started ranting about how sketchy people in this area have been, and how none of the other families or couples would spend time with her. After breakfast, she followed us back to our hotel room (??), not at all dissuaded by subtle hints Grant and I were sending her. She asked us if we planned on going out that night, and if she could join since she felt uncomfortable going alone. I felt really awful for her at this point, so agreed to meet her later.When the time came, she showed up visibly drunk and attached herself to Grant and I the whole night. It was still a fun night, but there were a few strange instances. For one, Grant and I were showing a little PDA (it's our honeymoon!) and a few times when he pulled me in to him or kissed me, she audibly sighed. She also started complaining when we wanted to head back early. All of these things are minor on their own, but they added up over time. I have pretty bad social anxiety as well, which contributed to feeling stressed and somewhat shameful around her. At some point, I gathered the courage to tell her that we want some more privacy, but she started crying so I reassured her and pulled it back.The rest of the week continued like this, until the next Thursday when I put my foot down. I told Grant I did not want to see her at all anymore: no more breakfasts, museums, ""short walks"", or anything else. He agreed and for the next two days we (mostly successfully) evaded her. I suspect he may have gently talked to her as well.I had a great time, and the last two days were by far the highlight of the trip since I felt far more relaxed and open. However, I am feeling some remorse for the way I treated her. She sent me a long text about how rough this trip was for her, and she did have valid concerns about not fully being able to explore the area or travel due to many men trying to take advantage of her. So, reddit, AITA?",AITA for abandoning a solo traveller on my honeymoon,NTA
10wlx0a,"I am a 22 year-old woman who recently graduated college and has been unsuccessful in finding a full-time job. Because of this, I still live at home with my parents and I depend on them a lot financially. The money I do make mostly goes towards paying off my car.Even though I don't make much money, I do still try to give to charity. Almost anytime sometime asks me if I will support a cause they care about, I try to spare some money, but I usually can't give more than $20-25 due to my modest income.Recently I saw someone share a GoFundMe on Instagram for someone who desperately needed money to pay bills. They were saying they were afraid of losing their heat and water and potentially even becoming hopeless. I immediately gave $20 to the GoFundMe.Later the person running the GoFundMe sent me a message asking me to send money over Venmo instead because it was taking to long for the GoFundMe money to be sent to them. I thought that was a reasonable request so I sent them $20 via Venmo.I then got a Venmo request from this person asking for another $25. They said they were super close to having all the money they needed to pay their bills, so I figured I would go ahead and pay the $25 even though I had already given $40.But after that, this person would not stop sending me Venmo requests for more money. I've gotten one at least once a day for the past few days, sometimes twice a day. I've already given this person more money than I normally give when I give to charity, so I declined their request. They didn't seem to get the message though, because they kept asking me for money. I understand that this person is desperate, but I don't think it was right for them to keep asking me, a total stranger, for more money when I had already given some and then declined to give more when I had reached my limit. Eventually I decided to block this person on Venmo so they would stop requesting money from me. Did I handle this situation well or AITA for not helping this person in need?",AITA for refusing to give more money to someone in need?,NTA
10wq6pe,"Okay so a little context. My parents bought a car a couple of years back and for a while it was the family car and my dad used to and is still driving it. The car is actually in my moms name and she pays for it, including insurance and repairs. She also has a driver's license, but my dad is very old-school and doesn't let her drive it. She's bitter about it as far as I can tell but lets it happen as he used to take her to work and did taxi service for her for a long time, basically driving her anywhere she wanted to.   Since he's getting older and their relationship is basically just living together, he doesn't do this anymore. He's afraid to drive when it is getting dark and basically uses the car for his own business now. I moved out three years ago to do my apprenticeship a couple of towns away.   Now my mom wants me to have the car and basically drive her to the airport once in a while and stuff like that, but keep the car and do as I please. Since my dad is getting old, taking the car would feel like me taking the last way for him to get around. He initially was onboard with me having it, but the last times we talked about it, he seemed to realize this wasn't just talking and kind of rowed back.   I also am doing good financially and will be able to get my own car in a year or so. To fill that gap, a car of my own would be incredibly useful, tho.   WIBTA if I took my moms' car?",WIBTA if I took my moms car,NTA
10wf468,"\[BACKSTORY\] I will begin this post with the backstory. I 21M had just gotten a job offer my junior year of college (Fall of 2021). After signing my job offer, my parents 61M and 60F and I decided to start apartment hunting. We found a great apartment complex just outside the city. My parents offered to fully furnish the apartment where I would live. My parents are both big discount shoppers and love stores like TJ Maxx or HomeGoods. Starting in around October 2021 my parents and I went to all kinds of furniture stores/Home Goods, and we even traveled to another state to get some furniture, and I do not want to downplay how much time/money they spent in this process helping me out. Then in April of 2022 I began dating a girl, let’s call her Jess, so assuming the relationship worked out, I would not be living alone in my apartment.\[PRESENT TIME\] Fast forward to now, I am working and making around $70,000 per year, and my girlfriend accepted a big job offer that will begin in July where she will be making around $130,000 per year plus a big bonus. We want to move in together before 2024, and found the perfect place to live. Here’s where most of the problem lies: over the last month or so my girlfriend had seen some of the furniture for my apartment, and I asked her what she thinks about it. She said that there were a few things she was not a fan of whatsoever, but overall she likes most of what I have. For the items that she did not like, she suggested that we go furniture shopping and she would purchase a replacement that we both liked. I told my parents Jess's opinions on some of the furniture, and they were not happy. They requested that Jess go through all of the furniture and tell them what she liked/didn’t like, so that they could return the items that Jess wasn’t fond of. After we finished there were a few items that needed to be returned because they were not Jess’s style. Many things that are being returned, needed to be returned anyways because we bought several options for certain decorations, to see what would work, and we would return the rest regardless. So overall Jess probably liked 80% of what I already had, and of what we returned most were things we had no room for, and some things Jess was not fond of. My parents think Jess has ""no empathy or consideration"" for all the shopping they did. They are also frustrated because I am letting Jess say no to things that ""I loved”. They think there should ""be compromise"" in that Jess gets free things and I get all of the furniture/decorations I like. But that to me seems like I get what I want, and Jess has to deal with it because it is free and my parents already bought it. So overall, AITA for defending my girlfriend’s decisions, sticking by my decisions, and telling my parents what they are feeling is disrespectful to me and Jess. TLDR: My parents are angry that my girlfriend does not want the furniture (returnable) that they bought for me and my apartment before we even began dating.",AITA For Defending My 21M And My Girlfriend's 21F Decisions To My Parents 61M and 60F When It Comes To Our Apartment,NTA
10wdlsl,"Hey people of Reddit! I'd love to get some opinions on this, as it seems to have divided those who I've spoken to about it.So, I work in a bar. Yesterday whilst I was working, a guy came up and I approached him all smiles, ""hey how are you"" kind of thing. He was cold from the get-go, just gave me a blank stare and snapped his drink order. Whatever, not everyone is friendly. I then rang his order up, it came to around £7.56 or something. He pulls a £10 out of his wallet, and tosses it across the bar at me without even making eye contact. Like, he threw it so hard I had to react quick to catch it.Now, this really annoyed me. So I counted up his change, and, despite the fact that he was holding out his hand, I dropped the money on the bar next to his hand. So essentially, the same as he did to me. He looked at me like I'd just come to his house and pissed on his kids, and stormed off.Around 20 minutes later, I see him talking to my manager in a corner. My manager approaches me afterwards and tells me that guy was complaining about my ""rudeness"" with the whole putting his change on the bar thing. I explained I was just giving the energy I got and we ended up laughing it off.I was talking to a friend about it afterwards, who told me they thought I was a little too petty and he ""could have been having a bad day"" etc.So, AITA? I don't think I am but I may also have angry bartender syndrome, lol.",AITA for putting a customers change on the counter?,NTA
10wclts,"First time posting here, sorry if I give too much info or format weird or do something else wrong that I'm not thinking of.I (24F) was hanging with my friend Peter (30M), and his friend (hung out with him a few times before, chill dude) Tyler (28M). We decided to go bowling. I knew in advance that I was going to spend the night at Peter's house, Tyler was too, because we were all going to be drinking and smoking. It was easier and more fun for everyone if we didn't have to worry about a DD at 1am. I texted my mother early in the day that I was going to go bowling with Peter and Tyler later, then sleeping over at Peter's house. Cut to later, the three of us were pre-gaming / waiting for the bowling alley to thin out a bit. I get a text from my mother asking if my nephew (16M, Ryan) and his gf (16F, Lisa) can come bowling with us. Before I get a chance to run it by the guys, she calls me. She asks if they can come with us because they are bored. I said no, and that I felt weird asking Peter and Tyler because ""we would be 24, 28, and 30 hanging out with two 16-year olds, ya know?"" and my mom said ""No, I don't see the problem"" then I said ""I don't want to be the person that brought my ""kids"" so to speak"" and she said ""okay, I'll just bring them with me"" in a huffy tone and hung up.This was a few days ago, she hasn't brought it up or given me any s about it, so we're good. I texted my nephew right after the phone call and apologized for not letting him come and explaining I was caught off guard, he said, ""it's fine"" and I assume he wasn't being passive-aggressive or anything.Here's why I think I'm the AH:I told Peter and Tyler about it AFTER the phone call, and they were cool with the idea of Ryan and Lisa joining us. They were still going to get drunk and stoned as planned, I didn't blame them, but I didn't want that around my nephew and his gf. I know he can handle it; he's seen me drunk off my a\*\* plenty, but in this scenario, we would be the adult supervision. Ryan and I have always been close. We're only 7 years apart in age (he's about to turn 17). His mom is 14 years older than me. I KNOW if I called him saying I was bored and wanted to tag along with him and his friends, he would say yes, so I feel like a total jerk not doing the same for him. We could have had a lot of fun and bonded more as ""adults"". I try to treat him like my peer, but a 7-year difference can be pretty substantial at certain ages. In recent years we weren't very close because I was an older teen / adult, so we couldn't bond over the kid stuff we used to. Now he's JUST coming up on being old enough to bond with me as an adult (talk about more ""edgy"" topics, eventually share a drink with him, etc.) and I don't want him to think I still see him like a baby or a burden or something.Probably way more info than needed and a lot of rambling, sorry, but AITA?Also, if I am, what should I do to remedy the situation?",AITA For Not Letting My Nephew and His GF Come Bowling With My Friends And I?,NTA
10wgh07,"I’m (18F) a freshman in college. One of my classes is relatively small, (around 15 people) and we all have a group chat together. We spend most of it talking about classwork, but occasionally, they send a random pictures of our professor (40F).It’s weird because she was clearly not aware that those pictures were taken; it would literally just be her minding her own business somewhere and the picture was taken in secret. They send in these pictures often, and I’ve just found it really creepy. One person said that they have an album in their phone of pictures of her. I don’t think that it breaks any rule at our uni, but I feel like I should send her screenshots of the chat, and maybe she could formally address it and tell them to stop.However, I’m worried that if I do this, IWBTA because I’m just ratting out my friends for something that might not even be that immoral or a rule violation. I don’t want to embarrass them when they’re just doing what “teenagers” do (as my dad said.) I also don’t want everyone to hate me for “ruining the fun.” So, WIBTA if I told my professor about this?",WIBTA if I told my professor that my classmates take pictures of her?,NTA
10w9r52,"I am a new small single-person business owner, so this year instead of filing my taxes myself with an online e-filing system, I decided to pay $397 to the big nationwide chain of ""tax professionals"" to have someone who knows what they're doing do them for me.I uploaded my documents online and then was told to set an appointment with one of their local consultants. The website said no appointments were available and to call my local office, which I did. The woman who answered the phone seemed bewildered and told me to upload my documents online. I had to repeat myself several times before she asked for my name and located my documents.She called back to ask some questions and each time I had to repeat myself a few times before she understood and I was starting to get frustrated with her. She frequently cut me off when I was talking and talked over me. After I paid to review my return, I saw that she had lumped a large portion of my business expenses into one category, so I called to ask her what that expense was. She again seemed to misunderstand my question and kept telling me to look at my schedule C form. I got so frustrated with her talking over me and answering the wrong question that I eventually raised my voice and said something like, ""oh my god, please just listen to me! What expenses did you add together to get this 9000 dollar expense listed as professional services? I'm not sure that's right."" Which is really out of character for me because I'm normally pretty non-confrontational. I was extremely frustrated at this point and she told me don't worry, ""it doesn't matter,"" but listed off the categories she'd added together to get that expense. The total amount of expenses matched my records, so I let it go.I asked if her company would be responsible if something were done incorrectly, and she told me I could pay an extra $40 for ""peace of mind"" protection, which would require the company to pay if she had made a mistake. I paid the extra fee.Anyway, I signed the return and just decided to put the whole experience behind me. Right after, her company sent me a ""client experience survey"" to fill out, which I went through and rated almost everything 1 out of 5 and ranted a little about my experience. I did NOT enter my name or the rep's name in the ""optional"" fields.The following day I got an email from her manager, apologizing and saying he'd talk to her, which made me cringe because I really didn't mean to tie that survey directly to her. Then, the representative herself called me, sounded nearly in tears, and apologized for whatever she did wrong, which was extremely awkward. I wound up apologizing to her, and she asked me to change my answers on the survey. I said I would try, but the survey link just takes me to a ""thanks for sharing your experience"" page now, because I've already completed it.I feel like an asshole and like I should have just put the bad experience behind me and not gotten this girl in trouble.",AITA for leaving a negative survey for my tax preparer?,NTA
10wfajh,"Let's keep it short:I'm a manager at a small coffee store. A couple weeks ago, my coworker came in to offer help with my close. I agree, and even offer him money, but he declines it. After helping sweep and mop, he's on his way, and I close the store with my other coworker who's actually supposed to work.Not even a day later, my boss calls me and scolds me for letting him work outside his scheduled hours, which is illegal for him. I assumed my boss just so happened to look through the security footage at just the right time, but he told me that the guy told on me because he wanted me to ""learn a lesson."" Why? I have no clue.Anyway, I apologize, and get let off with a warning. Two days ago, the same coworker walks in the store while I'm working just to annoy me. He asked if I got yelled at by the manager, and after saying yes, he says ""Good. You needed to learn a lesson.""At this point, I get pretty angry, and want to yell in his face, but instead I firmly tell him to leave the store. He's arguing with me, bringing up how I'm projecting my insecurities, or whatever, but I told him I wasn't even going to get into that. He reluctantly leaves the store, but I'm wondering if I am the asshole? This wasn't a random customer I was kicking out the store, this is a person who is employed here, that I just happened to kick out when he came without any scheduled hours just to try and piss me off.",AITA for kicking out a coworker that wasn't scheduled to work at the time?,NTA
10wpkws,"I (22) live in a house with 3 other girls. On of them (38) has a habit of leaving food in the fridge that she refuses to throw away. She bought a yoghurt pot back in November and it was still in the fridge until yesterday when I had enough it and threw it. It was completely blue and the smell was nauseating. We had a mutual understanding in the house that if the food in the fridge goes bad, it gets thrown away, especially because we share the shelves and the smell ends up going everywhere.I was already annoyed with this housemate because she split liquid mushrooms literally everywhere in the fridge and it went on everything so I had to clean it up since she didn’t do it properly. Again, the smell was atrocious. I didn’t really think me throwing away her yoghurt pot from four months ago was a big deal but she confronted me about how I had no right before threatening to report me to the police for theft. So AITA?",AITA for throwing away my housemates food,NTA
10wcoij,"Our fridge is jam packed full of food because my roommates are slobs and never clean up anything unless specifically asked to. I was going to buy groceries later in the day so i threw out some expired stuff that was in the fridge (moldy cheese, expired milk) and didn’t think anything of it because it was almost gone and… 10 days past the expiration date. My roommate texts us asking if someone threw her milk away because she was going to make a milkshake and I replied and said it was me and she shouldn’t really drink that because it’s expired. A huge fight broke out and my two roommates teamed up against me calling me petty, aggressive, rude etc. I am scared to go home today. The things they said hurt my feelings and didn’t really seem warranted as I only threw away expired milk. My roommates already don’t like me because I am the clean one who asks them to clean their messes and they both don’t mind filth. AITA? And how do i continue living here peacefully? I can’t move out until August. Thanks.",AITA for throwing out my roommates milk that was 10 days past the expiration date,NTA
10wpj0f,"This is gonna be kinda long. So I (17M) told my mom that I don’t want to babysit my siblings (11M and 13F) anymore. This story needs a bit of backstory, we live in a very small town in a very small country where there is low crime rate, me and my family used too not be well of financially so when something came up I was always the one they asked to babysit (I was 9-14 at the time) and I happily obliged and even tho I was doing what my parents are supposed to do I was never shown any respect I was pushed around by my father like I was some toy and my mom never knew about it because I was afraid to tell her, my siblings have always been troubled kids and still are so it was not easy to babysit them for 3-6 hours when I was 11 (my parents never left them with me longer than 1 hour when I was 9 and 10) it has always been chaos when they leave them with me screaming while I was making food, running around the apartment and when they got hurt they told my dad it was my fault they got hurt and my dad never believed me and scolded me for it, refusing to go to sleep at reasonable hours and much more, I have been doing this for many years and all I have ever asked in return was a little bit of respect and don’t get me wrong I got respect from my mom but not from my dad. (I should also mention that I came out as trans a little over a year ago and my dad has made it very clear that he will never support me or respect me). So 2 days ago my mom asked me to babysit because she was going to take and evening shift and my dad was working also and I said yes of course even tho I had been sick for the last few days with influenza and it was just like every other time the screaming, the fighting and everything they could think of to make me miserable so I went to bed exhausted and that was when I had my breaking point and the next day when I saw my mom I told her that I would not be babysitting them again and explained to her what happened and told her that my sister is old enough to take care of my brother and she agreed, this is the part where I am asking if I’m the asshole, my dad called me today scolding me for saying that I will not be babysitting anymore and told me that I was being selfish and that I should be a free babysitter because I’m his “daughter” and I should do as he says and I of course just hung up on him because I didn’t want to listen to his nonsense but now I don’t know if I did the right thing AITA?",AITA for telling my mom I won’t babysit my siblings anymore? (English is not my first language so sorry if there are spelling errors),NTA
10wje62,"I (f19) have been spending less time at home since July last year, it started in summer when I found a group of friends that actually respected me and I enjoyed spending time around after a LONG history of bullying. I would be gone all day but always come home in the evenings, sometimes late but never into hours like 3am. In september last year I got together with one of said friends and we ended up staying back and fourth at eachothers houses more, naturally it ended up being my partners house more as it was new and more comfortable.Now cut to November and I'm spending 3/4 days away from home at a time and my dad messages me asking me to be home more, now this is where i feel like i need to explain - before when i was at home my parents would make little to ZERO effort to talk to me while I was at home, never asking me to come and watch a film, never chatting, never asking for family game night. So when I experienced this at my partners house obviously I wanted to spend more time there. And this memory that always cuts through is one morning my sister didnt get out of bed and made everyone late and as we got into the car my mum said ""sometimes I wish I wasnt your mother"" which hurt me alot.Anyway my dad sent a message asking me to stay home and I explained EVERYTHING I just said and we all agreed to be better for eachother.Its now February and when I am home they still make no effort they just sit watching TV all the time even on weekends, I feel like an awful daughter but all I want is for them to show they want to spend time with me instead of just wanting me home for the element of control? My mum claims I dont love her as much as my dad ect... I feel bad and really need to know if I'm in the wrong and what I can do to fix it if so?Thank you!Also I want to end this with saying my parents arent awful they do care but sometimes I just want to be shown it?(apologies for any grammatical or spelling errors my hand was cramping by the end lol)",AITA for spending less time with my parents intentionally even after they asked me to be at home more?,NTA
10wjbd7,"Wife has been begging for a dog for as long as I can remember and is almost borderline a clean freak. On her end, she is an animal lover. She has had almost any type of pet you can think of except for a snake. We are from South America, and she  tells me stories from her childhood that she used to rescue animals from the streets and bring them home. Together with her dad they would help these animals and take care of them indefinitely. Me on the other hand, I’ve never even had a pet fish. I asked for a dog when I was younger but due to my mom being completely petrified at the sight of a dog it never occurred. Just 3 months ago, a friend was giving away a Husky puppy. She begged and begged. I was very hesitant as I like dogs but to be honest I don’t do good with poop/pee. When my son was in diapers, changing a poop diaper was truly a task that was difficult for me to handle. I would do it, but mask gloves etc was the only way. I was very upfront with her saying I would collaborate with keeping him entertained, walking him and whatever expenditures came our way.  But the poop and pee was something I just couldn’t see myself doing. She desperately agreed and said she would take on all the cleaning associated with this. We have flooring in our home. Since the dog came home…I’ve purchased the robotic vacuums, air purifiers etc. Being that she is a clean freak, she mops our home pretty much everyday.  She is now complaining daily on how I just don’t give a fuck about how clean our home is. The dog is now trained to hold it in for several hours but of course accidents occur, still a 4 month puppy. She is constantly fighting me about this issue and tbh I am over it. I was up front and cleaning up after him is incredibly difficult for me to the point I gag and throw up. Through speaking with friends and family I of course find out Husky’s are pretty difficult to deal with. Yeah my bad I didn’t research it!EDIT: I still clean in the same manner as I did with everything else around our home. She has not taken on any additional chores. Before the dog she was in charge of flooring downstairs anyway. The only additional tasks have been the poop/pee that is accidental inside the home or the poop in our yard.",AITA Partner & I got a dog together,YTA
10wpbna,"I'm  still not sure, but I don't know what else I could have done. My kid was expected home at 7pm. We try to extend as much trust and space as possible, as this is a person practicing to be an independent adult. They take all their classes through the local college for credit for both high school and college. They choose to have a job. Both of these are entirely their choice.Due to recently, Thursday, choosing not to come home at night with no discussion (my kid is 16) my teen is required to have location turned on for their phone. Instead of coming home for dinner at 7 they went to a hotel in a bad part of town. When I asked why, they lied & said they were buying a charger.I provided a deadline (20 minutes) for them to begin their trip home. They did not. Their father and I went to the hotel,  found their car,  but couldn't get them to answer their phone so we could hear their voice and know they weren't in distress, under coercion,  and safe. We could not see them.  They're under 18. We gave them another 25 minutes,  and when they finally called their dad,  they sounded high. They wouldn't come out or share a room number so we could see they were ok.We live in an incredibly high risk area for human trafficking.  I've talked to them about this since they were young. Given their behavior and the location,  I didn't know what else to do. They were visiting an 18 year old friend. Because they were an unregistered guest, and under 18 he lost his room, which is his housing, as he's in an unstable housing situation,  and I feel like an asshole.  I just... Don't know what else I could have done.  So, AITA?",AITA for calling the police on my kid?,YTA
10wkspv,"Listen, I totally respect people pushing themselves at the gym and stuff. I don’t even work out that much so I have mad respect for anybody that’s there and exercising. I know it’s hard enough to even drag myself there in the first place. There’s this guy there that’s definitely in running shape that does a moderate jog on the treadmill and I swear to god let’s out a scream every ten seconds when he runs. It’s really disruptive and it’s not like he’s doing full-on sprints or anything.Then he hits the weights and grunts so loudly and drops the weights on the ground every set. I always think to myself that if you aren’t strong enough to set the weights down gently then you aren’t strong enough to lift them in the first place, from a principle standpoint. This kid is probably 5’10” and a buck 25, so it’s not like he’s throwing up massive weight. This is also a small apartment gym, not a big commercial one. I’m probably TA and should stop getting worked up about it but he’s really annoying to workout around. Next time I see him I’m considering politely asking him to not drop the weights on the ground. Not sure what to do about the runs, idk. Thanks in advance. Bonus TA: he puts the weights back on the rack out of weight order which fills my soul with rage.",WIBTA telling somebody to stfu at the gym?,NTA
10wmlj9,"Context: My (36f) sister (31f) is getting married abroad (we live in the US) in June, and because many of her friends can't make it to the wedding, she's having her bachelorette in a place that's convenient to her friends: Washington, DC.I'm her MOH, and I've been tasked with creating an itinerary for the bachelorette weekend to share with the attendees ahead of time. As we were discussing activities, she said that I should include suggestions of what to wear for each of the activities (e.g. fancy-ish clothes for a dinner at a nice restaurant, walking shoes for the days when we'll be doing touristy things, etc).My sister is making a gift bag for each of the attendees as a thank-you for celebrating with her. Included in these gift bags will be a pair of American flag-patterned sunglasses and a goofy t-shirt with a president's face and a pun on his name related to booze (e.g. ""Abe Drinkin""). The t-shirts are white, the presidents' portraits are grayscale, and American flag aviators and headbands have been photoshopped onto their faces. She wants us to wear these t-shirts while we do a pedal pub event.When she told me about her plan to buy the shirts, she suggested that everyone wear biker shorts with the t-shirts for this event. I suggested that biker shorts might be too cold for the weather at that time of year, but that American flag leggings could be a good alternative. She texted back, ""lol imagine how much that would clash!"" and told me to suggest ""neutral leggings"" on the itinerary.The thing is that I already own American flag leggings. I go hard on the 4th of July, and I'm campy. I own many articles of American flag apparel.My sister only wears solid colors, and she only wears blue jeans (usually dark) or black pants. She isn't judgmental about people who wear patterns, at least as far as I've observed.In my opinion, American flag leggings don't clash with a white t-shirt with a president's face on it (the whole outfit would be tacky, which I don't consider the same as clashing), but I acknowledge that wearing them with the t-shirt would be in express opposition to her suggested attire for the event.I wouldn't change what I write as the suggested attire on the itinerary, and I'll make sure I have a pair of black leggings packed in case she ardently opposes the American flag leggings, but I'm not sure how egregious it would be to wear them because I'm not sure to what extent it's appropriate for a bride-to-be to dictate the attire of the attendees to her bachelorette weekend events because I've only ever been to bachelorette parties that lasted a manner of hours, and from what we were doing for the party, dress code was pretty obvious.I don't think my sister will act upset about anything anyone wears because she's not that superficial, but I don't want to be an AH by blatantly disregarding her suggestion of ""neutral leggings"" if it's a normal thing to dictate.So WIBTA if I wear American flag leggings to this pedal pub event?ETA: To be clear, I'm not dictating that anyone wear patterned leggings or buy new leggings. We all own leggings (idk how it is in other countries, but Americans love our casualwear), and it's not a problem for me to wear black leggings. I'm also aware I will look ridiculous (that's kind of the point -- if you're going hard, go hard). I'm asking if it will be AH behavior to put on these leggings, see what she says, and change if necessary. I will definitely be wearing the American flag leggings at some point on the trip, even if it's just to sleep in them. They are comfy af. ",WIBTA if I wear patterned leggings to my sister's bachelorette weekend?,NTA
10wdkkb,"I (29F) recently moved in to my boyfriend's (36M) place (my work has moved closer to his home so I am renting from him). Prior to me moving in, we had already agreed that we would not have anyone over without discussing it first with each other and both of us agreeing.Yesterday, his friend and his sister on two separate occasions turned up to our front door unannounced. We were both not dressed so I had to run upstairs while my boyfriend threw on a dressing gown and answered the door. Afterwards, I asked him to contact his friend and sister to not turn up to the house unannounced and to pre-arrange it with him. He then told me that this is unreasonable and that I am the only one in the world who thinks that people turning up unannounced to my house is not ok. His sister has also stated that ""it sucks for [him)"" that I am making this request. My pre-existing belief was that regardless if who you are, if you are going to another person's house, that the least you can do is arrange it in advance and not randomly rock up uninvited, expecting to be well received. AITA?",AITA for not wanting people turning up unannounced to my house??,NTA
10wizdy,"I'm a 19 year old female and currently trying to be shipped out to the Air Force.  It's super scary but exciting at the sane time. It will 7 weeks of training to be in the Air Force and they will have a celebration of passing. It will be in Texas and my dad said he and my step-mom will be there.Here's the thing, I don't like my step-mom. Don't get me wrong she never hit or left me hungry or anything,  but I always got the feeling she never liked me or my brother. She has stated she never wanted kids. She always seemed annoyed when I leave my room or say something.  There are time she us nice to me when my dad is around and give me hand down cloths but that's about it. She always yells at me for every mistake I made and makes me the villain for things I didn't even know what I'm doing.  Now there are times I deserve it as I don't always pay attention to things but I always feel like she's talking down to me and I don't like leaving my room or talk to my dad when she's around. She never felt like a mom and to be honest, she feels like a stranger to me. Even now an they have been married since I was like 14 or so.This is different from my step-dad who I knew since I was 3. He's always been like a second dad to me and always trys to hang out with me and my brother.  Even when my half sister's were born he never favored them nor treated us any different. Be bought me a bow once when I was 7 because I wanted to learn. One father's day when me and my brother were little my dad didn't take more or my brother on the father's day camping trip we normally go on. My step-dad was so mad and chewed my dad out as my brother was in tears as he really wanted to go. He wasn't planning on camping at that time but he told my mom that they were going camping. He even helped me on my ASVAB and took me driving in his truck. He's so fun to be around and he loves all of his kids. I feel like I can talk to my mom and step-dad about anything that is bothering me or what I did wrong. Sometimes I can with my dad but never my step-mom. I always am told I'm the bad guy for I feel.My dad isn't like my step-mom.  He also takes me driving and shopping when I want to go. He was even the one you got me on the path I'm on now because he believes I can do it. He knows what I like and would bring up thing he thinks I would like. Like Last of Us or Dead Space. He even let me download Genshin Impact on his PS5 and made me an account. My dad is loving and cares about me. I want him to see me be in the Air Force. But my step-mom never really seemed to care and only asks about it when my dad is around or brings it up.I don't like her and I think she feels the same judging by how she acts. So WIBTA for wanting everyone but my step-mom there?",WIBTA if I asked my dad not to bring my step-mom to my future graduation from Air Force Basic Training?,NTA
10wmatr,"The story was that I was a new hire at a company(4 months job time) and I was working on an event with my team of 5(including my immediate boss). Let’s name my immediate boss Kath. Kath was in charge of the event that we were organizing.The event is big for us: it’s our biggest annual event that we organize. At first, the event was to be held in mid February but as we couldn’t get one VIP for the period we moved the event to the end of February. The decision to move event date was around the end of Nov/beginning of Dec.The problem was that I had a trip planned(plane ticket paid)at the end of Feb. At the beginning of Dec, I knew that I had to address this somehow and, instead of my immediate boss, Kath, I went to my Division Director(my division consists of 3 teams, totaling 16 people). The DD was okay with me not being at the event but he told me not to tell Kath about it until Jan as he wanted me  to learn the job.January came and so I told Kath about my issue. Kath got mad at me because I was hiding the issue from her. One part of her problem was that she wanted me to tell her first, not the DD. The reason I went to the DD was that I was willing to put off my trip(with ticket paid yes) if he suggests that I should participate in the event and I wanted my decision for not being at the event to be 100% sure before I tell Kath. I understood that Kath was being thrown under the bus as me not going messed with her work a bit(Kath told me she was ok with me not going too but she wished I would told her about it sooner). I knew that  but I didn’t want to go against the suggestion of the DD.AITA for going to the DD instead of Kath.",AITA for violating chain of command(in business context),YTA
10wiodw,"Me and my girlfriend live in a long distance relationship (~200km) in two different countries.We normally see each other on the weekends, but came short on that recently.Especially due to Covid, we haven’t been able to go on vacation as only the two of us yet. We have been on a vacation with friends however.For around 2 months I’ve been considering going on vacation for 2-3 days, a weekend, all alone and by myself. My plans for the vacation are to use my phone less, focus on myself and just find some peace and quiet, especially since I am currently really focussing on self care and self development (including things like daily routines, sports, living and thinking healthier, being more dedicated about everything, reading books that teach me something, playing less video games, skincare, etc.).My girlfriend however does not like the idea and wants to go on vacation with the two of us - which I understand and made clear to her that we should definitely do that as well, though I’d still like to have a weekend vacation for myself.She didn’t like the idea, of me going on vacation all by myself, at all though. She seemed to not see a reason in it and couldn’t understand how I could feel that way, especially when she always wants me around, no matter where she goes.A few weeks ago I also talked to my mom about this and she seems to think the same way as my girlfriend does.Is it that unusual or weird that I would like to go on vacation by myself for the stated reasons?",AITA for wanting to go on a vacation alone?,NTA
10w9zbj,"I (F26) work at a dentist clinic as a dental hygienist. I've been working at the clinic since I qualified 5 years ago and have put in my notice as me and my partner are planning on moving to another country, nothing personal to any of my colleagues.One of my coworkers who we'll call Jane (F28) planned for us to go out to dinner and get drinks. It was only meant to be us two and not a big deal thing, as out of everyone at the clinic, I was closest to Jane.Jane mentioned these plans to a couple of our coworkers and it pretty much snowballed into everyone inviting themselves to coming along and it would be a big thing.My boss, the clinic manager, Liz (F54), found out about these plans and she wasn't happy about it.Liz has been a really good boss to me throughout my time at the clinic and we even spent time together outside of work and I thought we were friends.Liz got upset because she planned a surprise party on my last day at the clinic and said that I was inconsiderate for planning something for myself.She said Jane and I should've run the dinner and drinks plan by her first since the whole cohort is coming, and that we don't get to plan work events without her input.I said to Liz that she's being unreasonable and that both events can happen. She said I'm not understanding the problem and just got really irritated and told me to forget about it.I still don't understand tbh?Liz still carried out the surprise party on my last day at work which was yesterday. The entire time Liz was like a completely different person, she refused to even acknowledge my presence and ignored me the whole day and just looked incredibly furious all the time. She also behaved this way towards Jane.After I finished my last shift I kind of snapped and told Liz she's been acting like a sulky five year old and that she needs to cut it out. Liz told me to get lost and that I'm the one acting like a child and I'm being ungrateful towards her effortsI've never seen Liz act this way before, she's normally a pretty great, chill boss and I'm wondering if I really am out of line.",AITA for telling my boss she's acting like a 5 year old? She's very upset with me,NTA
10wej4p,"I (28M) applied for a job as a consultant at the company of my best friends (22F) dad. The interview and the assessment centre went very well and I will be offered a contract next week.Now the thing is: I don't plan on staying in this job for a long time as I will be starting a career in education in September 2024. I did not mention this during the interview and just briefly towards my best friend. She now interrogated me multiple times since then on what my plans are and now she is mad at me for not explaining this during the interview, especially because it is her dad's company. Now the thing is that if I had, the company would have never considered my application from that point on. Additionally, it isn't even 100% sure that I will be able to get into teaching next year.Background:My current job is really pushing me closer to a burnout (60h+, customers that are not willing to cooperate and a team that currently consists of my boss, who has no time to explain the stuff he envisions, yet always complains that the concepts and developments don't fit his expectations, two working students, who I have to teach more than what they could achieve on their own and a colleague, who is working in a different time zone (+4,5h from our location) and can be contacted from 3:30am to 9:30am).I already handed in my resignation letter after months of trying to find a better way in communicating with my boss and I will leave the company at the end of May, so there is still some time left to find a new job. I already have three other interviews coming up next week. One of these will be at one of the BIG4 and another one at one of the big players in the automotive industry. Needless to say, it is not certain that one of these interviews will get me another job offer. I already apologised to my best friend multiple times and promised her to not sign the offered contract and, in addition to that, explain my reasoning to the company and also her dad. She did not respond to it until now. I would have preferred talking to her on the phone or in person but she said she is not feeling well (she's currently suffering with the flu).I don't really have anyone else to talk to about this as she would usually be the person I would consolidate in such cases. I really don't know what I could or should do right now and whether I am the a-hole.I simply don't want to lose her.",AITA for not telling the whole truth during my job interview?,NTA
10w9wvw,My boyfriends best friend is getting married in 2 months. It’s going to be in Florida. I am not opposed to going because I get along with both his best friend and his fiancée. My only problem is I just had a baby last month. My boyfriend wants us to go without our child. We’d be in Florida for more than a week. I am exclusively pumping for her and when we go on this trip our daughter will only be 2 months old. I am not comfortable leaving my baby for more than a week. I also have two older children with my ex who I’d like to see during my weekends. The room was paid for by the fiancées mother and I don’t know if there is a rule about babies at the wedding but I honestly don’t feel comfortable leaving her for that long. My boyfriends mom will be caring for her while we’re gone and said I can FaceTime her but I’ve never ever been away from my children when they were that young for that long. I don’t feel like either him or his mom are understanding where I’m coming from. I’d rather find out if we could take her with us. I know I won’t have a good time knowing I’m away from her for that long. If she can’t come with us then I don’t think I could go. WIBTA for telling my boyfriend that I don’t want to go if she can’t go?,WIBTA for not wanting to go to my boyfriends best friends wedding?,NTA
10wofte," Ok, so... to put you in context:This is a story from some time ago. I am currently a college student (20 at the time), and at the time it was the beginning of my third year but the first year of my childhood friend, les call her Ariana (19 at the time).At the very first days, I would go walking to the bus station by myself or ask one of my parents to drop me off, but after like 3 days, she suggested me that we shoud go together, wich I didn't consider because both our schedules did not match, but I knew it was because she didn't want to go all alone walking to the bus station (The place where we live is not exactly ""safe""), so I accepted. She told me that she would come early when I had classes earlier and so on, and that she would wait for me when I would get out later than her and vice versa.The things were like the following:\- I went earlier 3 days (1 h before my 1st class), 1 day at the same hour and 1 day that she had to went earlier.\- I had to wait aprox. 1 h and 30 min for her after my classes 4 days, and she only had to wait for me 1 day, on Wednesday.The problema started 6 weeks into the semester when she started dating Mike because she likes to focus on things she’s interested in, and that was Mike. The thing is that Wednesday came and on our way to college she told me that she would not wait for me that day because she was going x place with Mike, I told her it was ok. The next Wednesday comes and she tells me same, I was already feeling that she would dump me, but tried to believe that that wouldn´t happen and instead told her that it was Ok, that I din't have a problem if she did it once in a while. Ok, the next week to this, she did it once again and I was pissed off, so I asked her if she could go with him any other day so we could follow our deal, but she told me that Mike's classes ended at 2 or so and that she didn't want to wait for him and that it was the only day they could go out (not true, they could go any other day, she would have to wait like an hour, but it's just that she didn't want her parents to know because they would scold her for going out during ""classes' day""), and I told her that I was angry that she was dumping me for going out with him and completely breaking our deal the only day she had to wait for me, and that it was not fair.The next morning, the topic came out again and once again she tried to explain but when I told her that it wasn't fair that she was completely dumping me (because she obviously was going to dump me), and showed I was still mad at her, Ariana got angry and told me that she was trying to equilibrate her love life, he friends and me, and I got offended because I didn't see that in any way but didn't say nothing and just stay quiet trying no to cry.So, AITA for being mad at my friend for dumping me to be with her boyfriend?",AITA for being mad at my friend for dumping me to be with his boyfriend?,NTA
10wfhfc,"I, (15)F had gotten into a school incident last year resulting in suspension for a week. Student, (?) M had saw me mid incident having a breakdown and told me to “pop a tittie.” I already reported him for that. Anyways, Student has been constantly reminding me of that time, even after I moved on from it with my therapist and reformed. Every interaction almost is like this in some way. S for student, M for me. M: -walking in the halls or even at an assembly.-S:Hey arnt you that chick from the bathroom?M: (not a chick Im nonbianary,) Yea so what? Im not like that anymore. S: Yea you are her! -proceeds to tell whoever is around him what happened as I get nasty looks-M: cut it out man. S: yea yea I will. -never does-Today he was in my class and did so in front of everyone. I hadnt reported him prior due to cutting him slack and giving the benefit of the doubt. He stopped for a few months but today was the last straw. I reported him to one of the deans and told the dead I had a minimum of two witnesses to this shit. TLDR: student reminding me of past, I got fed up and reported him after it happening multiple times in the past literal year. Am I the Asshole?",AITA for reporting a student to the dean?,NTA
10wgl61,"I (21F) am graduating with my bachelor's degree in May this year. My mother (41) and I have a bad/on and off relationship- I had a rough childhood, and she was partially the reason why. She emotionally and verbally abused me, and I bounced between my mother, dad, and maternal grandparent's houses. Because of this my grandparents practically raised me, supporting me financially. I still live in their house because my part-time job doesn't pay well and the cost of living is really high in my state, and they tell me they're happy to let me stay since I'm in school- but my mother also lives in my part of the house. My grandparents know she is taking advantage of them and they always say they want her to move out, but never do anything about it.We were okay for a while after I turned 18, but she has a tendency to blow everything out of proportion, and gets angry when anyone tries to confront her about her behavior. Everything came to a head when I tried to talk to her about the way she treats me and my grandparents. She blew up and said some hurtful things, including attacking my mental illness and saying I have no friends and should die, calling me names, etc. I'm usually good at taking her words since I've gotten used to it from childhood, but this really hurt me because I'm an adult and she still treats me like this. I told her that if this is the way she wants to treat me, she is not welcome in my life and I don't want her coming to my graduation. She said that that's perfect, and she doesn't care/want to go anyway. My grandparents heard everything and were there so they know what she said, and I also recorded the argument just in case she tries to twist my words. We haven't spoken in almost a month now even though we live in the same house, we just ignore each other. I know if I try to communicate she'll blow up again, so I just live with it.My family is really excited for me to graduate, since I am the first of my generation/first grandchild to graduate from college.  I had a lot of trouble both in high school and college, but I managed to earn enough scholarships to earn basically a full ride. My uncles and some relatives are flying in from out of state to come to the ceremony. My grandparents want to have a lunch after the ceremony with my family, and I told them that I didn't want my mother to come to either the ceremony or the lunch- but they got upset at me and told me I should include her, despite what she told me. I feel like I would be TA because she is, sadly, still my mother, and I don't want to upset my grandparents by not extending an invitation. The rest of my family doesn't know about what happens in the house, so I don't want to upset them either. But I also feel like I should stand my ground for once. WIBTA?",WIBTA if I don't let my mother come to my graduation?,NTA
10wo9dx,"I (18, F) met a friend online (16, F) about two years ago. We started out by writing a story together, but as time went on, we became closer and actually became friends.  About a year after we met, she confessed that her mother can be nasty sometimes. (I could relate to her on certain levels because my mother has a hot temper so I do know what it's like to be depressed and live with constant anxiety. This is one of the things that drew us so close in the first place.)I've tried to always be there for her, I've constantly reassured her that she's pretty and smart and amazing just the way she is, her mother's issues aren't her fault and she's not responsible for her mother's emotions.Her mother is now trying to get her to seek professional help from a psychologist, but my friend keeps saying psychologists are paid to pretend like they care. She also says all doctors are dumb and her google searches are better at giving her answers. She does online schooling, refuses to get a job and lately it's been irritating me so much to hear her complain about feeling sick. I understand it's very difficult to do everyday tasks when battling mental illness (I'm speaking from personal experience) but it irritates me because I feel like she's using her anxiety as a convenient excuse to get out of all her responsibilities.This makes me feel like I'm a horrible person.Am I the asshole?",AITA for being tired and irritated with an online friend?,NTA
10wjjvx,"I unfortunately live with my sibling who already has a german sheperd husky mix that defecates in the  house often and now he brought home another dog. I have a cat and she absolutely hates his dog and now that theres going to be two dogs I am worried that it would stress her out too much. I recently discovered she has Chronic kidney disease and I just want her to be able to live the rest of her life peacefully without being chased by two untrained dogs. After yelling at him that it wasn't okay for him to get another dog without even telling me he didn't listen and said he already got the dog and he isn't going to take it back, so I told our mother. She got extremely angry at him and threatened to take him off the lease. He acted as if I were in the wrong. I admit I might have overreacted at first but I don't think he should just get away with doing this, I already expressed my concerns with his first dog he got that my cat doesn't like other animals and yet he got the most hyper and high maintenance dog and never trained it.",AITA for telling on my sibling for buying and bringing home a dog behind my back without permission?,NTA
10wf9rq,"We are both \~20M. I have been friends with him over a year. He is pretty much a 4chan edgelord. I used to browse 4chan too but I stopped while he is still associating with that crowd. Even after he said he wants to leave that 'phase'. Within the time I've known him, he has posted extremely edgy content to groupchats and scared people off, he has not acted super morally in his relationships, he has backstabbed me and manipulated me and others. Early in the relationship he would make fun of my skin tone and ethnicity a lot. I am not one to get mad at insensitive jokes so I accepted it for a while but soon it just started to hurt and feel wrong and I got pissed at him and a lot of other things he did. I got strawmanned a lot for that. We have been on and off as friends. Recently I had been avoiding him but he apologized for a lot of stuff so I decided maybe I should give him another chance but... he hasn't really changed even though he vocally claims so. In that we got into an argument and he threw out the n word again, not really to hurt me just to be edgy but the edginess is just a little overwhelming to me. I typed in 'n\*\*\*\*r' into the discord search (checks all mentions of that word) and I just have a list of all the times he has said in the n word (in text, besides the times he has said stuff like that in person or vc). I have been honestly considering sending it to his college. Would I be the asshole for making his comments public?","WIBTA for telling my ""friend's"" school about his racism?",NTA
10wgflp,"I (30 f) cut contact almost 10yrs ago and have not talked to her since she chose drugs over me and my kid. My gma has maintained contact and told me my mom wants to get in touch with me and promised shes sober. My mom thinks I need to be the one to reach out first. Considering what shes done I dont agree. Im hesitant to believe shes drug free. Ive been missing my mom from before drugs. She was the type that everyone at school wanted to have, the fun cool parent that let me do whatever I wanted as long as I stayed safe. We used to stay up late renting horror movies, playing video games or exploring surrounding deserts late at night.When I was around 10 my mom started smuggling people and drugs across the border. She started using meth during and would smoke it in the house. During her runs she would be gone for days and leave me home alone with her Gfs 5/3 yr old with no electricity, little food, or running water. I missed a lot of school and started to hallucinate. She got caught and when she didnt come home, I called my gma and begged her to come get me. They get me and thats when we found out she had been arrested by border patrol and then took custody of me. Mom spent 3 years in jail. She promised to get me once she was out. She got out and things were amazing. She was promising me a better life for us. That was a lie. She manipulated me to resent my gparents telling me they refuse to let her take me. I didnt find out until years later that it was my mom who told my gma she didnt want custody. I turn 18 so I move into a shitty trailer with my mom. Then drugs once again. We get evicted and now im homeless for the next 2 yrs and any money I earn is spent on my mom while Im house hopping or sleeping in my car. If I didnt give her money, shed scream, belittle, and guilt trip me. She then tries getting me to marry some kid from Mexico for money. Unrelated I become pregnant, still homeless, and dad has run off. When Im 6 months preggo she claims she found a place for us to stay. Turns out she told a 67 yr man Id be with him sexually in return to stay on his property. I was unaware and refused his advances so he kicked us outWhile Im giving birth, she refuses to show up even though shes 5 miles away. She gets mad when I start to refuse to help her since my child is now top priority and sends me long nasty txts and thats the last Ive heard of her. I recently found out who my dad was. Hes an amazing man and loving father to 2 other girls. Were in contact and he feels horrible for not knowing about me. Now I feel bitter for missing out on a loving parent for the past 30 yrs. I also used to despise anyone who did drugs, especially parents. Now that Ive been educated on addiction Im no longer ignorant and can sympathize and realize that people DO recover and change which is why Im torn. I want to forgive her and reach out but I cant. AITA for not making first contact and forgiving her?",AITA for not contacting my mom?,NTA
10we21q,"My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now, and he has a cat that I basically adopted as my own. When we first met, he had his own house, car, and two jobs, and I thought he was the most responsible guy out there (relative to the men who live around here). Being with him became like an escape from my own home situation because my roommate at the time didn't potty train her dog. I couldn't stand being at our apartment because there would be huge piles of poop everywhere, and she wouldn't clean it right away. His poop would stain the carpet, and the apartment smelled horrible. I stayed in my room most of the time, but the smell became so unbearable. I would clean up as much as I can, but it just felt gross being in there. I found myself over at my boyfriend's house more often, and I would confide in him about how stressed and anxious I was regarding my living situation. Not being able to be in a home that I was paying for was really frustrating. When our lease ended, my boyfriend wanted me to move in with him, and it was nice for a while. It was nice to be able to breathe in my own home. After a few months, our cat started pooping on the carpet, and I figured maybe her litterbox needed to be cleaned more often. It didn't help, and after a while she started peeing on the carpet, too. I became more and more anxious and didn't want to have people over because of the smell. No matter how much we cleaned and used an enzyme cleaner for her pee, it would not slow her down. I tried to do some research, and we even brought her to the vet because we thought she might be having health issues. Vet says she's fine and that it could just be a behavioral issue. My boyfriend says it could be because before he met me he took in a stray cat who would do the same and she started following him. He ran away, but she never stopped. Apparently, she's been doing this, and I just hadn't noticed until the smell started building up. This made me mad. He knew what I was dealing with and wanted me to move in with him still?! This was all stressing me out, and so I told him I'm thinking about moving out and getting my own place. He got mad and said we would just be moving backwards in our relationship, and we wouldn't be saving any money. He said we should move into a place that only has wooden floors, so it would be easier to clean up. That just pissed me off even more. I don't want her to be peeing outside her litter box in the first place! I cannot handle this anymore. I love our cat so much, but I feel like this whole situation is just not good for me mentally. I feel trapped. AITA?",AITA for wanting to leave because of my boyfriend's cat?,NTA
10w7lbv,"Me (24) and my partner (32) have been living together for around a two years. We split all the housework equally but I usually do the cooking.Today I was super exhausted, I even stayed home from my after school extra job for feeling too tired to do anything. My partner has been home with me all day, and not done any of the things they said they would, which is fine since I know they will do it later.However, they fell asleep on the couch, still fine with me, and I started cooking dinner. When dinner was done I called them to come and eat and they remembered that they had to run a important errand, which I understand they can’t postphone, and the store was closing soon, but I just feel like since it was so important they should have done it earlier today and not right when we were about to eat.Also usually, every day when I cook, I will tell them something like ""Dinner will be done in 5 minutes"" and they come into the kitchen 3 minutes later and start like feeding their dog, which always results in me having to wait for them to be done.I just feel like they don't prioritize my cooking or being done in time to eat, but maybe I am being unfair, so AITA?",AITA for feeling my cooking is taken for granted?,NTA
10wl8hz,"My nana and mom are older. My nana is 86 and she has severe scoliosis- she has lost three inches of her height to it. My mom is 64 and she has spondilolisis. Both of them suffer from back pain pretty severely. This limits what we can do because walking is hard for the both of them. I suggested me going to Dallas alone for spring break so I can go to the aquarium and the galleria. I wanted to go without my mom and nana so I could go and do without having to worry about people hurting… I think that hurt her feelings and she doesn’t want me to go alone because the world is unsafe… I think I messed up. There was a shooting in my neighborhood that has freaked my mother out about the safety of the world; she doesn’t want me to be alone in Dallas which I get, but I’m 24 and I’m smart about safety in public spaces. AITA for this spring break suggestion?",AITA for asking to go on spring break alone?,NTA
10wl8a8,"English is not my first language, so I apologize for lot errors. I don't know if I was asshole for the way I blew up but my wife think so. My (59m) wife Ann (52f) is amazing and I'm not saying this because I'm burying the lede here. She's amazing and that's a fact, no if or buts. However, her being amazing is a problem here or rather lack of sense of her own value as a person is the problem here.In my early twenties, my first wife (Eli) passed away. Then after awhile, I met Ann and now we're nearly sixteen years strong together. Few nights ago I was feeling down and Ann suggested I should hang out with my friends to cheer up. I thought it was good idea until I got blackout drunk. I don't remember this but my friends called her to pick me up and they told me that I kept calling her ""Eli"" and using old pet names and I kept weeping over her, telling Ann ""I miss you, Eli, that if there was another life, I still would pick you over everyone.""Here's the thing, after that day, I woke up hungover and she didn't act different. She was still her sweet, happy self. She even gave me painkiller, kissed me and told me that she hoped I would feel better but that it was okay if I didn't before she left. I wouldn't thought anything was different until my friend called me to scold me out for how I treated to Ann. To say I was shocked was understatement. When Ann came back from work, I immediately apologized, I told her that I didn't mean it and I'll do anything because she's the most important person in my life. She seemed to be confused at first but after I clarified few things she just shrugged off and said that she knew I meant it but it was ok. I was flabbergasted at her attitude and I disagreed. It wasn't ok. It's shitty way to compare her to someone or to say that I'll pick my late wife over her. Ann agreed with this but she wasn't particularly bothered with it. She knew long time ago that I loved Eli more than her but it didn't matter. I got angry at this and I said how could she be calm about this because if the table were turned, I'll be crushed. I remember yelling her that does she see herself so little? That she didn't have any self worth at all? I said that she should know she's amazing person, loving wife and she means so much to me but her response so frightening because it makes me think she believes she's second fiddle, like an afterthought.  I don't remember much after this because the conversation went off rails and I ended sleeping in the guest room. This morning she told me I was AH for this outlook and left for work.  I just want her know that I was wrong for saying that night about Eli and I want Ann to see I love her so much and I want her love herself too. The fact that she doesn't value herself makes me feel so sad.",AITA for yelling my wife about her self worth?,YTA
10wew3e,"Hellos! So I'm a grad student in my final year of Masters in Civil Engineering, and there's this one student in class who answers every. single. question asked by a student. Like if I ask the instructor a question, he will actually interrupt her and answer my question for me. There's only 4 students in the class, so it's not like the instructor, let's call her Dr. A, needs any help with managing the class. Dr. A is shy and timid and just let's him interrupt her. It's gotten to the point where if any other student asks a question, she'll just sigh and look at him while he responds. The last straw was on Friday when I asked Dr. A a question, and this guy literally got out of his seat in the middle of class and came to my desk and moved my computer towards him to look at my work. I didn't like how he came up in my personal space, or looked at my work when he had the same assignment to work on. I pulled my computer back, moved my seat so that I could see the instructor (coz he was now blocking my view) and called the instructor by name before asking my question again. He didn't get the hint and just answered the question a second time! He didn't even give me the correct answer as I found out once I stayed after class to ask Dr. A privately. To give him credit, he does answer some questions correctly, but sometimes not and his explaining isn't all that great. Plus I pay a lot in tuition for this class and to learn from someone with experience and a PhD (he happens to be the only undergrad in the class). Don't think it's an understatement when I say every single question, because it is literally every single question and he will even butt into conversations after class (and even tried to comment on an assignment for a different class because he didn't realize it wasn't the same class he was in). I don't feel safe asking questions in class anymore, because either he'll answer incorrectly and I'll be more confused or he'll actually answer correctly, which makes me feel a little belittled. He does answer some questions in a more condescending kind of way and I am already shy and lack self esteem. It's like the instructor doesn't run her own class! I'm tempted to, next time just look him the eyes and say ""Thank you for your help, but I asked Dr. A."" WIBTA?Tldr: In a class of 4, one student constantly interrupts the teacher to answer other students questions and even gets up during class to look at thier work and 'help'. I want say something to him.",WIBTA if I called another student out during class?,NTA
10w9pmp,"Ok so lmk if I'm in the wrong here. I've always been an open book, I don't hide and have always found talking to trusted people about my problems better than running it in my head. My stbx is the complete opposite. Never talks about his issues, feelings etc which is part of why we are in this situation.Every yr we have the same issues, I ask for counselling, he says no, makes promises, doesn't fulfill and then it blows up and he always says he wants a separation. Then he says he was just mad and the cycle starts over. The last time it happened I said don't say it unless you mean it. This time, he said it and I agreed.Now, instead of falling back into the same cycle, i told a select few people (our immediate families, his bff wife who is also my friend and a cousin of his, the school to be aware of any behavioral changes in the kids). Keep in mind, I just moved to his hometown and have no friends of my own here.There were 2 reasons I did this: 1, because I had all sorts of emotions and needed to talk to someone and 2, so there's no turning back as i know i would flip flop and question my decision. Voicing it out made it real for me, which is what i felt i needed to do.I've been getting all sorts of backlash and anger from his side of the family berating me for telling people when no papers have been signed yet etc.I don't think I did anything wrong at all but let me know if I did.",AITA for disclosing our divorce to mutual people?,NTA
10wnpit,"my gf, jenna, has a guy friend, dan, that she would hang out with alongside her friend group and i thought nothing of it at first but fast forward a few weeks, we went through a breakup(unrelated to dan) and got back together after a month, and i found out that during that period jenna had a crush on dan and hung out with him alone a few times including sneaking out at night. i saw messages of her referring to him sexually to her friends and that rly made my stomach turn. worst part is that she liked him for the “cute” things he did while we were dating as well. she didn’t tell me any of this, and had planned to continue talking to him while we’re dating. this rly messed with me and i feel sick to the stomach every time i think of it especially cuz i thought this would never happen. i confronted her about this and she apologized several times while reassuring me that nothing happened between her and dan. i believe her but i honestly can’t see them the same anymore and so i told her she shouldn’t talk to guys she used to like while we’re dating, but she argued otherwise and told me to get a therapist so i can get over it. after a lot of fighting she said she’d stop talking to him, only to talk to him behind my back, get herself posted by him, get each other gifts, and other little things that poke at my wound, and then said “i never wanted to stop talking to him anyways” as a justification.",AITA for not wanting my gf to talk to a guy she liked?,NTA
10wrhgz,"I live with my partner of 10+ years. Sometimes when I’m in a bad mood, really small things will irritate the heck out of me. For example, last night, my partner decided to wear one of my shirts (partner regularly wears my shirts, it’s fine). They were eating, and got mustard all over my shirt. I could feel myself getting upset, and I like to be honest about how I’m feeling even if I know it’s not logical. So I said something like “I know this isn’t important but this is really bothering me.” I must’ve been really hungry or tired for this to bother me, but it really did - even though I know that’s not fair. I tried my best to just explain what I was feeling without making it more of a big deal or blaming them.My partner understood, but I think I made them feel bad, even though that wasn’t my intention. In the future, I’d like to be able to handle these situations without making my partner feel bad, but still being honest about my feelings. For some more information, small things have always bothered me. Little noises, etc. I am very aware that these little things are my problem, not other peoples, but for whatever reason I am easily upset sometimes. Usually I just need 2 or 3 minutes on my own to deal with it and then I’m good to go. That’s my way of dealing with this problem that I have. My partner knows this, and does their best not to be hurt. But I’m worried that I could find a better way to deal with small problems. Should I fully removed myself from the situation without saying anything and then just come back when I’m ready? Or is that dishonest, and I should keep being honest about my feelings even when I know they are irrational?Thanks for your help.",AITA for getting upset about really small things?,NTA
10wd91v,"So just recently my parents and aunt and uncle went out to dinner to celebrate my aunts birthday and neither me or my younger cousin (14f) were invited to the dinner so my mom suggested me (20f) and my cousin go to dinner just the two of us. That was fine with me but I had already invited my friend up for the weekend and she’s vegan so I had to ask if she was ok with going to dinner with my cousin and where is a good place for all of us to eat. She suggested a place we’ve been before and I liked and she had no problem going out to dinner. (I’d like to put it out there that since she’s vegan, I have absolutely no food at my house for us to eat so we were going to go out to eat anyways) anyways she gets to my house and then she said to me “So do I have to pay for my dinner?”And I said “Uhh yeah?” Genuinely confused.And then she goes “So I was invited to dinner and I have to pay for myself…ok”Like yeah… ?I’m wondering if I’m the asshole because when I said this story to my friend she didn’t say anything and now I’m confused. I truly can’t think of a situation in which you’d pay for someone’s dinner unless it was a date or like a celebration or maybe a business meeting. Otherwise offering. I am broke I can barely afford to eat out I made the exception for my younger cousin cause it was important but is this the type of situation you’d pay for someone? To me she sounds very entitled and I was very shocked she even suggested it. It never crossed my mind.So am I the asshole?Edit: I think some of you may be taking it more seriously than it was. This was two friends going out to dinner. We were going out regardless since she’s vegan and we can’t eat at home but since I was the one who brought it up, she expected me to pay. We go out to eat everytime she comes to visit and we never pay for eachother. I did not say anything along the lines of “do you wanna come to dinner with me and my cousin?” It was more like “where are some good places to eat today and do you mind if my cousin joins cause she’s alone today for dinner” sorry for any confusion 😭",AITA for not paying for my friend for dinner?,NTA
10wec3r,"A few months back my mom's car broke and she was waiting for the parts to arrive.A few days became a few weeks became 3 months...We live in a rural part of the country but I live in the town my mom lives in a tiny village.I have public transport and friends, my mom has herself. So I agreed to loan her my car until hers was fixed, I would get it back on the weekends to go do my thing, she would keep it through the week for work etc. Recently my car has experienced some problems and now looks like I'll need to replace some parts of the cooling system.My mom's car is now getting repaired, and my own is due for its annual checks, so I'll get these issues fixed while it's in.Speaking to her this evening I mentioned, half jokingly, that I'll split the bill for my car, she immediately got very upset by this. She is struggling financially but I'm not exactly flush with cash either, she has probably put in 3 months the same milage I put on in 6. And given these issues have come up while she's driving I can't help but feel she is kind of responsible for them.So Reddit, AITA for expecting her to pay what I feel is her fair share, or am I being an entitled asshole?",AITA for expecting my mom to pay for some of my car repairs?,YTA
10wrfz4,"Some background:So a few months ago I got a promotion. I was given the task of fixing a completely broken process for the bank and only given one resource.Until we could automate the process, we were going mad as we worked from 7:20 am well into the night to make sure we don't miss any branch requests.We had to go through the pain until we automated the process. My colleague and I were going insane. I asked for a temporary resource, and I was given an employee who was on the verge of being fired. She complained to me, and i told her that if she believes she's good, I'll back her to the hilt as long as she proves herself. I always defend my team anyway.The problems started almost immediately. Whenever I'd ask her to complete a task, she'd throw a fit. She would scream at me that she's carrying the entire load and that I was doing nothing. Bear in mind I was working so hard I lost almost 5% of my weight within a month of shifting jobs. It got so bad that I asked for her to be removed from the team, and her line manager is slow walking the process. So last month, I stopped engaging with her. Now, my reportee thinks I'm an asshole.Bear in mind I later learned that this employee has complained about every manager she ever had and said that they made sexual advances towards her. EVERY SINGLE ONE. Which is extremely unlikely. I also noticed that she doesn't take feedback well at all, even when I'm very careful and sandwich the negative feedback with good feedback.AITA?","AITA, I stopped talking to a colleague",NTA
10wrdyp,"So myself (M27) and my wife (F26) have been in the process of buying a new car, since we are thinking of starting a new family, so we opted for a mid-sized SUV to future proof us in the case we have a few kids and need places to seat them. We having been looking for a few months and I have said that I will pledge $35,000 for the car and she said she will cover the rest up to $20,000 (This is all in Australian Dollars by the way). So she quite liked the look of one model of hyundai, which was going for about $47,000 ish dollars but I liked the look of a KIA sportage ($54,000\~), now both of these cars we took for a test drive and both agreed had their certain pro's and con's. I liked the entertainment system the KIA offered, but she liked the way the seats felt in the hyundai, I said I liked the overall build of the KIA while she said she liked the way the sound system sounded in the hyundai. I said that I would like to buy the KIA, and she said she wanted to buy the hyundai, I said that since I paid the majority of the bill I should be able to make a final say on which car we buy if it's between 2 models. My wife said that it would be more economic if we bought the cheaper one, but I said that a cheaper model of the KIA (similar to the price of the hyundai, albeit about $2000 more expensive) still had all the functions that I liked in the more expensive one but still said she wanted to go for the other car. There is also a huge wait time on the specific model of car that she was interested in (Between 6 months and 18 months) whilst we could drive away with either model of KIA suv's the day we bought them.I told her that since I was contributing the majority of the money to they car I had the final say, she said I was being an ass for the sake of it and that we didn't need the extra features, despite the fact her most important pro's of her car were that the seats were more comfortable (I disagree). AITA?",AITA for buying the car I wanted because I was paying a bigger share?,YTA
10wahre,Me (19M) and my friend (20M) are both in college. Currently he’s working at a grocery store and told me he wanted to quit his job so he can make money off his artwork. He said he planned to quit at the start of summer and then start making money from commissions on twitter. He told him that was a bad idea considering that AI has become such a big thing. He said it’s fine and that he actually wanted to work with AI for inspiration. I argued that by saying that AI just does the whole job. He got mad telling me he’d been working on improving in art for almost a year.I kept telling him to at least not quit his job but he was dead set on doing so. After that I blew up telling him that he probably won’t even make any money considering that he’s pretty much a amateur. I said “Why would anyone pay for your art when a AI could do it better than you!”. He got quite then didn’t say anything. After a few days he said he’d given up on Art completely. Am I the asshole?,AITA for Killing my friend’s dream.,YTA
10wrd9s,"My (27) bf (28) has been planning a surprise outing for our birthday. Originally he didn't think I would be able to plan something for his birthday (our birthdays are less than 2 weeks apart) because I'm a SAHM and don't have any money. I saved from Christmas and random side jobs and invited his friends out for dinner and to play pool (it's something he's really into but hasn't been able to do since we had a baby). His friend ended up paying for dinner and my bf ended up paying for a few of his drinks. I was DD so I didn't have many. Anyways, I found out what he has been planning and it's to go trap-shooting with his friend and his friends girlfriend that I met at his party. She was super cool and everything... but it's different than being with my own friends. I know initially it was supposed to be for both of us, and previously I mentioned I'd like to try trapshooting some day when he asked me if I wanted to try it months ago after he went with his friends. I feel bad because he seems so excited to go and I'm kind of dreading it because after being in the army, firearms make me feel kind of anxious, not too badly, but enough that I'm nervous. I haven't ever told him this because we've never gone to any range together so it's never really come up. I don't have the heart to tell him I don't want to go because he reminded me its for both our birthdays. He planned that for the morning but didn't plan anything for after. I feel like an asshole for not feeling appreciative of him wanting to take me to do this. So AITA?",AITA for not feeling appreciative of the birthday event my bf planned?,NTA
10wkn0k,"Well. Title says it all. I (31, AFAB) don’t want to wear a dress to a formal wedding.I understand this is not my day. I have been in multiple weddings, have worn dresses in all of them, and counted down the seconds until I could change. I don’t like dresses. I don’t like skirts. I never have. I am tired of spending time and money doing things I hate and make me uncomfortable.I asked my brother (33) and his fiancée (26) if it mattered if I wore a dress to their wedding.She responded first; she doesn’t care what I wear as long as I’m clothed and not wearing a wedding dress.He asked me what I meant because I knew it’s a formal event.I clarified that I’m going to wear a suit.This wedding is special to me. The people are special to me. I don’t want to remember how uncomfortable I was when I see the pictures. I’m not cheaping out on this suit. I’ve booked an appointment at haberdashery and I’m preparing to spend hundreds of dollars on a picked-by-a-trained-professional-to-look-good-on-me, tailored suit with accoutrements. I’d do my hair in a feminine way and wear makeup so I wouldn’t look completely masculine. I would make sure the colors and style for everything would be appropriate for this wedding. I will look (and feel) amazing.He doesn’t see it that way. He wants me to wear a dress. He knows dresses make me uncomfortable.  He suggested a compromise; wear a dress for photos and change after the ceremony. (It’s not feasible. Plus I don’t want to that.)FWIW I’m not part of the groomsman’s or bridal party. Just a guest.So WIBTA if I wore a tailored suit to the wedding and refused to wear a dress?",WIBTA If I refuse to wear a dress at a formal wedding?,NTA
10wrcu2,"This is my first post on Reddit, so I apologise if the way I proceed to describe the following events is unsuitable.  I have a very strong experiential memory, so I shall describe what happened with as much precision as possible, without including too much detail.  Last Friday, I (M 17) was standing in the kitchen, texting my friend (F 17).  My mother (F 51) walked into the room, whereupon she asked, 'Who are you talking to?'  'My friend,' I responded.  'Which friend?'  'You don't know her.'  'Her?  What are you talking about, exactly?'  'I'm telling her about A. J. Ayer and logical positivism.'  However, before I was able to finish my sentence, with celerity, she reached over and snatched my phone out of my hands, walking to the other side of the room.  'Don't lie to me,' she said, with a degree of contempt I deemed unjustifiable.  'I'm not lying,' I replied, walking towards her.  I saw her scrolling vigorously through all of my WhatsApp chats.  'Why are you doing this?' I asked, frustrated.  'Who are all these people?' she responded, ignoring my question.  Usually, I tolerate this type of behaviour from family; however, at this point, I was too irked to care about potentially upsetting my mother.  Therefore, I reached over from behind her and grabbed my phone back, walking out of the kitchen and towards the stairs, intending on staying in my room.  'You're so intrusive,' I said whilst walking away.  My mother did not respond.​Since that day, she has been refusing to talk to me; as a result, I feel utterly awful.  AITA?",AITA for calling my mother intrusive for snatching my phone out of my hands as I was messaging my friend?,NTA
10wfd1a,"So, I(17F) and all of my siblings(21F and 15M) share locations with each other for the sole purpose of tracking each other's phones if we were to lose them. Nothing else, nothing more. However, my sister and I got into a pretty nasty argument about an hour ago because when I got home from school I called my sister just to make sure we were still gonna go see this local band this weekend and just to talk to her. While we were talking, my sister brought uo something along the lines of her checking my location to ""throw my mom off of my scent."" I was shocked and upset because I just felt like that's an invasion of privacy, but she said that she only checked my location because my mom would constantly call her asking where I am, and if she saw that I was at my boyfriend's house, she would tell my mom that i was with her to give me a couple of hours without my mom blowing up my phone. Regardless of the reasoning, I just feel as though it's a weird and intrusive thing. So I snapped at her, and we got into an argument.It was a pretty bad argument. It ended with my sister hanging up on me and not picking up any further calls from me. My brother ended up finding out what happened via my sister and said that I was ""being stupid and an asshole"" because my sister was just trying to cover for me. I know she was covering for me, but what she did still makes me feel uneasy, AITA?",AITA for blowing up at my sister for checking my location?,YTA
10wkj7o,"Of course there's a backstory to this, but suffice to say, a very close friend of mines dog passed away, unexpectedly. I loved this dog very much a was heartbroken when he died. In fact, I went over to her house in the middle of the night after a hysterical phone call. My husband has never liked this friend of mine and feels she's too needy, and I've given her enough already. We are not struggling financially at all, and the sum borrowed was under $200. I didn't think twice about lending her the money, though I knew my husband would be angry. I just didn't tell him, but he noticed the transaction that same day, and was of course, angry. Am I the asshole for loaning her this money, given the circumstance? I mean, I loved this dog too and have been in tears for days.",AITA for paying for my friend's dog to be cremated without asking my husband?,YTA
10wnaqj,"Ok that probably sounds weird let me explain. I'm(F24) a music major and I've been in this choir 3 semesters not counting current and it's a choir club so it has a leadership council. As of last semester I became the president. The leadership before hand was absolutely garbage, and the second part of that year we lost half our members cause no one cared.When I became president I really wanted members to be happy to be there and bond while building our community presence too. I and 2 other council members managed to get our social media going again, build our ""brand"", get recruitment up, and I essentially single handedly planned a catered hot chocolate reception for after our winter gala where all 6 choirs in the program perform and 100s of people come to watch. I'm not trying to brag I just am really proud of what we've been able to do with bringing this choir basically back from the dead in 1 semesterOk so that's the context now the name thing. There are 2 choir clubs one which is high voices(us) and the other is low voices. I'll call us Sun Performers and the other we'll call Continuous Bass. The Bass choir has never bothered with the club aspect of their group btw. Our new department director has found that incoming students get confused by the names cause they don't read the description(how is that our fault?) so they want us to join under one name (we'd still be separate groups) and just have students sign up for either the Bass or Treble version and that would be our new brand . The options presented were either rename entirely or have them come under our name. I know this might be petty but I really don't want either of those. We've worked hard to get our name to mean something again,got a logo commissioned for it, want to get Tshirts etc. with it, and the members pretty much all said they love the name I don't want that to be for nothing by changing it entirely. But the real thing is that I don't want them to come under our name because they've done none of the hard work to get us where we are now but then will adjacently get credit, and we are a choir entirely of women and non-binary members. I'm not really keen on a group of primarily men being associated with what we have built to uplift and empower us and be something to have to ourselves for once. They wouldn’t psychically be joining us but it still feels like an invasion of the space we've created for us because they'll now be tied to everything we do.I do love them and love collaboratin but still having something that's ours alone. When I talked to our director he said that was valid and he's thinking about other possibilities instead. But I got some pushback from a few members saying ""it's just a name who cares""or that I don't want to share because of my ego. So idk am I being too petty and an AH?",AITA for not wanting to combine choir names?,NTA
10wgr5w,"I (17F) have a friend (16F) , let's call her Petal. Petal and I have been friends for a few months and I recently invited her to a party i was throwing. Petal was very touchy with me and way too close for comfort. She also kept kissing my hands and overall i felt uncomfortable by it. I decided to bring it up to her. I texted her saying it made me uncomfortable and that it wasn't a big deal I just didn't want her to do it again. She apologized in a way that she wanted me to feel bad saying stuff like ""im sorry you feel that way."" implying she doesn't think she did anything wrong. but i brushed passed it and told her it was entirely okay, I wasn't mad or anything.Moving on, she then sent a long paragraph about how much i hurt her for what I said and that she thought of me like family and didn't expect this from me. She tried to gaslight and manipulate me into thinking im the one in the wrong. She then said she told me all of this so i would be prepared when i see her saying she would be ""mean"" and ""hateful"" towards me.I then straight up said that if SHE was implying she was gonna be mean and hurtful to me because she made me uncomfortable that we're not gonna be friends anymore. Then she started texting dry and was pissed off at me. I said it didn't make sense that she's mad at me because she made me uncomfortable and I didn't feel sorry for something that wasn't on me.The thing is, this is her whole personality. She is a narcissistic person and doesn't think she can do wrong. She always tries to blane others for something she did and never takes responsibility. TLDR; My narcissistic friend tried to gaslight me into thinking im in the wrong after she made me uncomfortable.So my other friend, we'll call her Jamie texted me saying I needed to see it from Petal's perspective and that being angry and aggressive is just how Petal copes. I thought it was ridiculous because in not gonna lower myself to her level just because we're friends and she think she can walk all over me. I have enough self respect to not let her treat me like she does to her other friends. But now Petal and Jamie and mad at me and trying to make me feel like I did something wrong. It's incredibly stupid. I hate drama, and this is extremely childish and immature of them. They took a minor issue and completely blew it out if proportion. I really hate high school girl drama.",AITA For telling my friend I don't feel bad after hurting her feelings?,NTA
10wctxx,"My sister and I are both writing this AITA for giggles and for fairness I’m not going to tell you which one I am so you don’t make a judgement one way or the other! We’re sister A (19) and sister B (17). Sorry this isn’t as serious as lots of the other posts but we thought it was fun to see who you thought was the worst!Sister A has a birthday coming up on Feb 23rd. Sister A loves rollerblading and wants her birthday at the roller rink the weekend after, Sister B has already planned her birthday and sent out invites for the roller rink on the last weekend of March. They have a lot of mutual friends, family friends and close cousins. B thinks none of their mutual friends/cousins etc will come if they’ve all gone to the exact same party for A only a month earlier. Particularly as some are out of towners. And seeing as B planned hers first, she thinks she should be the one to get the party. A won’t budge because she says both of them are entitled to parties that they want. B thinks this is unreasonable because she will miss out even though A has been lazy in her planning. A thinks B is being the asshole for being entitled. B thinks A is being the asshole for being stubborn. B also thinks A’s birthday got priority treatment throughout their childhoods and thinks now A is an adult she should budge. AITA?",AITA for being a terrible sister and ruining a birthday?,NAH
10wr6gn,"So my oldest son is getting married this year. My sons soon to be mother in law has taken over planning the wedding. Without speaking any of the other parents (both sides are divorced so there's 4 sets of parents) she began planning the wedding then just told us all how much we are all expected to pay. This isn't the biggest issue though. She has a group text with her and I and my ex husbands wife for the wedding updates. A couple weeks ago she mentioned in the text that we would be having to pick out dresses because we would be walking our grandchildren down (they will be the flower girls and ring bearers) the aisle at the wedding. This was kind of strange to me as my ex husbands wife was in this text. This bothered me because I have no idea why she would be included in any of this. My ex and I divorced over 17 years ago because he was having an affair with this same woman who was just 18 at the time while my ex was almost 40. I left him while pregnant with my youngest son. The divorce ended up being one of the best things to happen to me as I am now married to an amazing man for 15 years and I am no longer with the womanizing, gaslighter I was married to. But regardless of that, why is his wife a part of this event other than as a guest. I spoke to my son about how I felt about it and he said he would make the change because he was never even asked if that was what he wanted at all either. As a side not this soon to be mother in law I'll call Karen and my exs wife who I'll call Maria have become friends due to social media and other events we have had for our children. Well my son spoke to his fiancé and Karen called me telling me ""you should have told me you wouldn't be ok with it"" I told her I would have had I been given the info before, so she decide to change it to all parents walking down the aisle as couples but she continues to make little remarks here and there about how much more chaotic it will be that she will still want to walk with the flower girls so she will walk down twice etc. today she sent a text in the group chat saying she has done this, that and the other for the wedding and that the guest list will be family ONLY and if we allow any others than we will have to do it for all and it will no longer be the small wedding we are paying for and that she is going to cut down a couple of the guests from her side. I know this was in reference to my youngest sons girlfriend who lives with us and is coming with us (the wedding is out of state) I don't think Thai should be an issue given the guest list from our side is 27 people and her side is 48. The text went on to say ""Maria we will talk later about your hotel room situation, since I know Christie ""me"" is adamant about getting an air bnb, (she wanted us all to get rooms at a certain hotel) we decided not to since we are paying for part of the wedding, flying out, staying four days, will need a place to stay and transportation, also my family is close and we enjoy hanging out together so this is what will be best for us. Other than this she make petty snide remarks here and there all the time. I just feel as though I as the mother of the groom is the odd one out because she is recent bffs with Maria. She also called to let me know that the wedding venue will have a tour (it has a museum attached) during the cocktail hour and she must have reiterated at least 5 times ""anyone that goes on the tour must be respectful!"" ""We need to make sure everyone is respectful while in the tour"" ""gotta be respectful during the tour"" ""we can't act out of line we have to be respectful on the tour"" like my family is some sort of ghetto, disrespectful group with no manners or something! I feel like if I say anything at all or make a suggestion or even ask a question I am treated like I'm a trouble maker and she will say it's their wedding, no one's opinion matters (except hers I guess) since I spoke up about having Maria as a part of the wedding, I am now labeled a troublemaker! I am the type of person to bend over backwards for everyone I care about, I shut my mouth and do whatever I can to make them happy, and do whatever I can to always make people feel comfortable but the minute I say no or set boundaries or speak up I'm the worst person in the world and everything I have done before that moment is forgotten. I love my son and daughter in law and granddaughter so I will do anything to make them happy. But am I the asshole here?",AITA for being this upset?,NTA
10wr3fy,My wife is all about eating healthy. We hardly ever get any junkfood.My daughter(11F) and I(M32) love junkfood so we've got a secret stash of things we like. Yesterday I went to get something to eat and decided to eat the last twixA few hours later my daughter went to get something to eat and she asked me where the last twix is. I said I ate it. She thinks I'm an asshole because twix is her favorite but I like it too why does she get all of it? And I'm the one paying.Meanwhile my wife found out about our secret and she thinks we are both assholes for going behind her back so I can't buy another chocolate for her and she is sulking now,AITA for eating my daughter's favorite chocolate?,YTA
10wr18t,AITA for giving all my money?I have this kind of feeling to help people especially old people who don't have any resources. Now I don't have money left til I got my pay on friday. I think I can endure hunger for a few days. I just feel good when I help someone in need.,AITA for giving my only money 60$ to an old man asking donation on the street.,YTA
10wk1eq,"Hi reddit, sorry for the long post. this takes a lot of explanation. It's my first post, so please be nice hahah... Sorry if theres any formatting problems, I'm on mobile.I (21M) live with my parents (54M & 47F) and younger brothers, Chris (18M) and Caleb (9M).My maternal grandmother has been a problem in my family since what feels like the beginning of time. It blows my mind that she was still in my mom's life when I was born, let alone now after everything my grandma put her through. She's even a factor in my parents' recent separation, with my mom never cutting her off and my dad hating her, so I feel like they're too biased for me to go to them with this. I hope someone here can help.As well as being terrible and abusive to my mother since childhood, my grandma has been awful to me when it comes to two major aspects of my life for almost 8 years now. She's a covert narcissist who can do no wrong in her own eyes, and she has a terrible victim mentality that infuriates my entire family. I've been chronically ill with Epstein-Barr Virus (EBV) in my pericardium since I was 14. Every time it comes up, she does nothing but spout insensitive nonsense about how I should try harder. She tries to force feed me medicine I know nothing about, and basically calls me lazy for not doing enough, even when she knows I literally can't leave my bed without my medication (I've been on propranolol for 5 years.) I've also been out as transgender (FTM) since I was 16, and my brother Chris is also trans. My grandmother has made it hell for me every time we visit. The last time I saw her was at Christmas with my mom's family. The topic of my chosen name came up (I'm famously indecisive), and Caleb said my deadname in front of everyone. He's not old enough to remember ever using that name for me, but he sometimes sees it on my mail and I guess he got confused. Obviously, I forgave him immediately because he's only 9 and he's forgetful even though he's been taught better, but it still hurt. I quickly excused myself to go outside, because I didn't want to cause a scene by getting upset at the table in front of my extended family. I heard Chris jump to my defense and start scolding Caleb (somewhat gently) and explaining the issue to him as I left. I was feeling quite bad because hearing my deadname is a bit triggering for me, and it made me feel really upset and anxious.My grandma followed me outside and started to tell me how I need to get over it, and how my transition is ""harder for everyone else"" because they need to ""deal with it"", talking as if I was a burden on everyone. She also implied the same about Chris. She said I need to grow thicker skin because it's nothing compared to what the rest of the world will say about me (how the rest of the world will know I'm trans or know how to deadname me is beyond me, but whatever.) I wanted to call her out on her BS, because I was only upset from hearing my own family member say my deadname, and I really don't care what others say, but I started crying instead and I couldn't face the argument. She also commented multiple times on my insecurities which she has done for years.She told me she knows how I feel because she's changed her name before (because she felt like it), as if it's the same as having to shift your entire identity just to be happy, because you feel miserable in your own skin. She has no idea how it feels, but she refuses to accept it no matter how many times, and in how many different ways my mom tries to explain it to her. She doesn't care to learn and she doesn't even mind anyone's feelings when she speaks. I texted Chris what happened and he and my mom were irate and made sure to leave ASAP without arguing with her. My dad didn't attend, but he was furious when I told him.Since my teenage years, I've witnessed my grandmother doing nothing but cause grief for my parents and now she's doing the same for me. Unlike my mom I don't want to endure this for the rest of my life, or however long she's around. I dread seeing her because I leave upset every single time and her words have stayed with me for months. I have loved her and cared about her opinion for the longest time and it's tearing me apart. As the oldest sibling, I'm the most emotionally mature of all my siblings. I can take this if I have to, but I'm worried that Chris won't be able to. He's not as strong as I am emotionally, and he has some serious trauma that I don't have. He's already faced discrimination in the workforce (because of his transition but also because of being biracial) and afterwards he was worse than I've seen him in years. I'm scared that he will be more affected by this kind of treatment than I am. I know that if I take the lead as the oldest and be the first one to cut her off, then Chris will feel more comfortable doing so if he wants to, because he tends to follow my example. It would help to limit his contact with her (he struggles setting his own boundaries) and protect him from also experiencing the things she's said to me.Lately, Chris' childhood best friend Sirius(17M) has also started living with us. He's like a little brother to me and we've known him since he was born. He's the sweetest kid ever. He is also a trans guy and will start his transition soon, and is much more sensitive than either of us because of past trauma. He has a lot going on and I do NOT want to expose him to my grandma's BS under any circumstances, especially because she fits right in with his biological family who he is deliberately staying away from. I want to protect him with everything I have, but if he continues to be a part of our family the way he is now, then he will be exposed to her in the future unless I set a boundary now for all three of us. I think I might be the a-hole because my grandma hasn't done anything extreme like a lot of the posts here and it's set my bar pretty high for what's acceptable to cut people off for. She has been in my life since I was born and was a positive influence in my childhood, and has taken care of me a lot despite her shortcomings, even housing me during the week while I was in high school up until I got sick at 14. I don't know if she would understand what she did wrong if I just never spoke to her again, even though I haven't talked to her since Christmas, but then again she never knows what she's done even when she's being awful. I've been debating it for months and ignoring her texts, but I feel bad because she was good to me when I was younger, and she's always referred to me affectionately as the kid who made her a grandma. When I see her, I feel bad for hating her, up until she said something else which destroys me for months. Of course I wish I could just talk to her and explain how to improve the situation and work with her on it, but she takes this kind of conversation as an attack on her character and refuses to listen. My mom's attempts over the years have proven to me that anything I say will fall on deaf ears and I'm no longer willing to go through the stress of trying.Should I cut her off to protect myself and my siblings? Am I totally overthinking this? WIBTA? I have no idea what to do. I will probably have to see her again this month for my birthday unless I make up my mind.Please help.",WIBTA If I Cut Off Contact With My Grandma?,NTA
10wg2yo,"For context, my (26M) roommate J (25M) are really good friends and have known each other since college for about 7 years now, and about a year ago me, J, and one other roommate A (23M) decided to move in together.  We all get along great, we hang out together, make plans together... etc.  There is no animosity between any of us.So few weeks ago my roommate J came to us and said one of his work friends wanted to throw her birthday party at our house since our house is pretty huge.  I don't know his work friends, I've briefly met her once but our conversation was very casual and wasn't long.  When he told me both me and my other roommate said we don't have any issues with it as long as they clean up after.  And that we will be at the party too since it's our house.  Roommate A had to leave out of town that day so he said he can't make it.  But when the day came I helped my roommate clean up around the house just to make it more presentable.  At night they all went for dinner, and I was hoping they would start the party early (at 9 or so) so I could just interact with everyone for couple of hours and then go to bed early.  But my roommate texted me at 1030 that they are going to be late.  At that point I decided well I am pretty drained and don't really feel like being social so I told him I will skip out on the party.  People started showing up at 12, I was in my room the whole time, since they were pretty loud I was up till 3AM when they all left, because I couldn't sleep.  But I just stayed in my room and didn't come out.  I didn't complain about the noise are anything as I figured well it's a party its going to be loud. Next day I was talking to my roommate and he said they were all asking about me since they could hear my tv as they were walking by to use my restroom and knew I was home.  And he said I really should've just came out and interacted with his friends and not locked myself in.  So reddit AITA for not attending a party thrown at my own house?  Because I might've given the impression to everyone that I am purposely trying to avoid them, which wasn't my intention.",AITA for not attending a party my roommate threw at our house when I was still in the house?,NTA
10wd5n2,"Recently I was invited by a friend to join him as a co-driver for a 2-day navigational rally event. This involves driving in off-road stages (up to 100km long) while following navigational directions and hitting checkpoints as close as possible to on time. *Edit for clarification:* This was sanctioned by an official rally organization on public, remote roads. The goal is to maintain average speeds between checkpoints which are set within public speed limits. This can however be difficult in the snow/ice. Going faster or slower results in a penalty.This was a first time for both of us so we were inexperienced. My friend offered the option of splitting our driving between stages, so that one of us wasn't doing the same thing for the entire event. I was nervous about driving my friend's car because ""what if I crash it?"" but he reassured me that it didn't matter since he bought it as a cheap beater and didn't intend on keeping it after the event.Most of the event went pretty well until I ended up losing control in a corner on the final stage and smacking the car into a guard rail. The steering/suspension was pretty messed up and one wheel was rubbing the fender. The side of the car also had quite a bit of body damage. We laughed it off because these things happen, we were the third car to go off the road, maybe better luck next time.We managed to limp the car to the next major town, where I used my roadside assistance coverage to call for a tow. I had the car inspected by a mechanic who informed us that the damage was repairable, but the labour could end up being pricey. The next day we had the car back at my friend's house.We discussed what's going to happen to the car - I looked up parts prices online and found out that the front end mechanical components were going to be really cheap ($35 for a new lower control arm, $8 for a new sway bar link, etc.) and there were junk yards nearby with donor cars that could be used for body parts. We'd be looking at a few hundred bucks in repairs if we performed the labour ourselves.However, my friend said he wants to wipe his hands clean of the car and get rid of it instead of dealing with the hassle of repairs, since he planned on selling it anyway. He decided he's going to make an insurance claim which will likely result in the car being written off due to its low value, so that he can get a payout from the insurance company.I pleaded with him not to make a claim and instead to allow me to make him whole. Where we live, insurance claims affect the driver, not the owner of the car. I already have an at-fault accident on my record and 2 accident claims in less than a year will result in my insurance rates skyrocketing, when I already pay almost $300/mo in insurance.I have offered to either fix the car or buy it outright for what he paid for it and any money he's put into it (around $2000 total) but he refuses because he's convinced that the insurance company will give him a big payout over market value. This however will be at the detriment of my accident record and insurance rates which will skyrocket for years to come, and he doesn't seem to care. AITA for insisting on settling out-of-pocket for the car?",AITA for wanting to settle outside insurance after crashing my friend's car?,NTA
10w77p9,"My bf and I \[F23/M25\] have been together 3 years now. A big issue in our relationship has been that, when I set a boundary, my bf decides whether it's reasonable or not and then acts accordingly. If he feels that he wouldn't be upset if the roles were reversed then he continues with whatever he's doing. This leads to an argument which ends in a canned ""I'll do better next time"" speech.In this situation, the boundary I set was this: I don't mind you going out, just let me know where, who with, and about what time you'll be home. If you can't be home by 2am, tell me. Shortly after this, my bf made plans to go out with friends. This wasn't an issue until I asked when he'd be home - he said ""I don't know"". I backed off as his night out wasn't for another week, but the day of the answer was still ""I don't know"". Trying not to start an argument, I asked him to text me when they had a plan and he left a little after 9pm.Fast forward to 11 and I haven't gotten a text. I check his location and it shows that he's at a bar, so I leave him to it. Around 1am he still hasn't texted, and so I text him myself to see when he'd be home and he again says ""IDK"". He also says that he'd just gotten to the bar even though it's been more than 2 hours since I'd noticed he was there already. What’s more, I knew (based on what he told me) that between 9 and 11 he'd only had to pick up 2 people who lived about 20min from us.I tell my bf this, and also that ""I don't know"" after 1am was a sh\*tty answer considering the talk we'd just had. He doubles down, I go to bed angry, and he walks through the door just after 4am. The next day there's a brief ""discussion"" where I explain to him that I asked for the bare minimum and he - again - just did whatever he wanted. I get the same generic ""I'll do better next time"".The following Monday he gets off of work (3pm) and when I look up it's 5pm and he's not home. He doesn't get home until 7pm, makes no attempt to explain why and then acts completely lost as to why I'm pissed and how this relates to the conversation we just had.The real insult in all of this is not just that he's taking off for hours with no communication or respect for my feelings, but that he's doing it in *my* car. Full disclosure, he contributes about $150 towards my insurance (not the full amount) and pays for gas most of the time. I pay everything else. I wouldn't stop him from using it to get to work, that seems cruel, but if he wants to be out with no explanation or accountability I feel he can do it in an Uber. So, WIBTA if I told my bf he can no longer use my car (outside of work)?Tl;Dr: I asked that my bf let me know when he'd be home if he goes out. He's ignoring my request, and pretty much doing as he pleases while driving my car.",WIBTA if I revoked my bf's access to my car?,NTA
10we4zi,"Part of my job responsibilities include ensuring the vehicles I use are properly stocked. I have been informed that there is some legal aspect that requires documentation of these checks to be submitted once per day for each vehicle. The company has sites throughout several cities and each city has its own supervisor as well as an AM and PM work shift. Therefore, the PM shift really only has to submit the check for the vehicles the AM shift did not submit. Anyone in the company can look at which vehicles company-wide have had their checks submitted by pulling a report. With that, anyone in the company can see that some sites routinely do not submit the checks by the end of the day per guideline.My supervisor decided that because my site's ""numbers"" (as far as I can tell that means the percentage of truck checks completed for our site each day, but no one has really shown us those statistics) were poor, our site and our site only would be required to check the vehicles twice a day, meaning every vehicle per AM and again for the PM shift. By pulling the reports, I can see that some sites consistently leave checks incomplete and when talking with people from the other sites, I know my site is the only one with different requirements.We are in the weeds now so bear with me. Instead of looking at the information and figuring out which employees were not regularly submitting their checks, the leadership decided everyone at our site just needed to do twice the work to compensate. I had been diligently submitting my checks and felt disrespected by the requirement to do twice the work to make up for lazy co-workers. I was vocal about that point and sent an email to the leadership explaining my frustration. I heard a rumor that leadership was literally incapable of figuring out who wasn't submitting their checks but I dont know why they wouldn't put in a bit of effort to cross check the schedule with vehicle checks not being completed, especially now that leadership has threatened punitive action for failing to submit the two checks a day. By the way, leadership gets those reports sent automatically everyday to their email.I subsequently decided that I would no longer submit those checks. I still do the full check of the vehicle but I do not submit it. This started as an experiment of sorts to see what would happen but I have become fairly open about my point of view and feel bad that there have been some interpersonal issues arising with me probably dying on this hill or rocking the boat, but I have not heard anything formally from leadership about me not submitting the checks, so...AITA?TL;DRLeadership gave everyone more work to compensate for lazy employees. I stopped doing the work altogether because I felt disrespected and thought their decision was unfair, which has caused some tension with my co-workers. I have not been formally approached to ""Be better."" AITA for pushing back?Thank you.",AITA for not doing all of my work?,YTA
10wm6u0,"My roommate and I had gotten into a fight about few weeks ago and things haven’t been the same since.We had just become friends earlier last year and instantly clicked very fast. I had noticed she had anger issues a few months back ,but  I just kinda pushed it away and tried to help her when I could. The fight started because I had asked her to repeat back a text because my phone was glitching and I couldn’t read the text from my phone, so I asked her to read the text and she wouldn’t read the text and kept doing her makeup,so I grabbed her phone and tried to read it ,she then started screaming at me off the top of her lungs and started cussing me out for random thing and saying how I’m insensitive to her and her feelings bc I came to the room early that week crying bc I had some body issues and was feeling bad about myself/ sad about just being alone since my brake up .Which then in the fight she turned made it about herself and said your not the only person who goes through stuff,and I hope you end up alone. (side note I have always been their for her when she’s crying about her girlfriend and hugging her to make her feel better but every time I cry she’ll just walk away) so then I said I will never be there for you again when your upset about your girlfriend which then she stormed out the room and slammed the door.I started crying when she left and ended up going home for the weekend and when came back she gave me and hug and said sorry which I hugged her back and said it’s ok. But then things didn’t go back to normal we still weren’t talking but I was also still really hurt. Then a couple days later she told he how I’m a shitty person because I didn’t apologize and how I should just run back to daddy when I’m sad. And I told her I’m sorry you feel that way. Then later that week I was that the photos we had taken together she had cut out and covered my face which was really awkward to see bc we live together but I just kinda ignored it. When I came back to the room she separated and hidden all of our stuff that we shared and left mine on the floor, again I didn’t say anything and just cleaned up my stuff and went to    the store get the new supplies I needed. And the other day she brought home a box of chocolates and one top she put a sticky note saying m name and don’t eat with a smile face and that made me so upset bc I’m not that much of a beach  when it comes to food ,like I don’t take other peoples food.But she continues to wear my clothes that she hasn’t given back and uses some of my stuff and she’s also been playing music very loud when I’m trying to sleep. And I just don’t say anything bc I don’t want anymore conflict .Am I the asshole for not apologizing from the beginning even tho I feel like I did nothing wrong???",AITAH Roommate drama I guess?,ESH
10wqdt1,"I (20F) have been with M (21M) for almost 2 years. When I met M, 3 years ago, he was in a long distance relationship that only lasted about 4 months. I was told by his friends that he ended the relationship because he had feelings for me. I didn’t take them seriously as I thought he had feelings for a friend of ours, K (22F). They had a stronger connection, they would flirt, hang out just the two of them, FaceTime constantly- it just seemed like they liked each other a lot. I became really close with K and she confirmed my thoughts. She told me that she was in love with M and that she felt like he was into her too. She told me about how they would FaceTime constantly and that they’d always hang out in their free time. I didn’t have any opinions about this as I didn’t have any feelings toward M at the time. As the months past I noticed that K started acting colder towards me. She seemed to have a problem with me but I couldn’t figure out why. I asked our friend group if there was anything they could think of that could possibly be the reason she was upset with me but no one could name one. I ended up deciding that asking her straight up would be the most effective thing. She told me that there was nothing I had done that upset her and promised me that she was just burnt out. We hugged, told each other we loved each other and left it at that. About a month after that, M and I got into a relationship- I know how it sounds but I don’t want to lengthen this out with a whole other story. Cutting a long story short, I found out in November last year that M and K had actually had a bit of a thing going on until M messaged her out of the blue one night telling her that he wanted to stop what they had. No reason- just that he wanted to stop. She then noticed M and I getting closer and that’s when she started acting cold towards me. We have been together for 2 years… and I have only just heard of this.I talk to my mother about everything- boys, health, friendship drama, fashion, you name it, we talk about it. I spoke to my mother about this situation. She had me at 20 so the age gap is small enough for her to relate and make me feel better about a lot of situations. She wasn’t happy about the whole this and told me that he should’ve mentioned it at some point as K and I are close. She wanted to have a word with him but I wouldn’t allow it. I told M the following weekend that I had spoken to my mother about the situation and he wasn’t happy. He told me that our relationship and what goes on in it is mine and his business and nobody else’s. He also added that this happened before our relationship started so it’s not even my business let alone my mothers. He yelled at me and told me that he didn’t understand why I was letting some “stupid fling” effect our relationship so much and that I should learn to leave things in the past. I just want to know, AITA here?",AITA for telling my mother about my boyfriends past fling?,NTA
10wdx1m,"I met him through a dating app. Our first date was really good and. We had good communication for about a week, he texted regularly etc. and he seemed really enthuastic & expressed he wants to see me again right in the end of our first date. (Relevant info: On our first date we wanted to buy some street food and he couldn’t find any cash so i said no problem and payed for his too, it was something like 5-6$.) After the second date he started to act a little disinterested but he was still breadcrumbing me. So i asked him on another date to figure out what was going on. He agreed. 3rd date was good from my perspective. He wanted to go to my place but i said no because i thought it was too soon. We were in a cafe and had some drinks. There was a problem with payment and somehow he ended up having to pay for mine too. I had no cash on me so i asked him if he had paypal. He said he does and he’ll send me his e mail adress later so i can transfer him (for a 5$ drink). Anyways, He texted me a day later, so i thought everything was good between us. I answered his text and also asked “how can i send you the money from that cafe?”. After that i didn’t get a message for 4 days straight. 4 days later he said something like “paypal would be better, i’ll text you my e mail adress later”. It’s been another 4 days and he still has not said a word.I honestly find this very disrespectful. He ghosted me instead of communicating he doesn’t want to see me anymore. And ghosted me while i was willing to pay his money back. Who doesn’t have time to type a fucking e mail adress? i truly hate being ghosted.WIBTA if i didn’t transfer him money when (if ever) he finally contacts me to send his adress? I payed almost the same amount for his streed food (even a tiny bit more) so i think we’re even.",WIBTA i didn’t send money his money back to this guy?,NTA
10wado2,"Two years ago I was laid of due to covid and stayed on unemployment for 1 year. During this time I paid my half of rent and started looking for a house that I could make into a rental, I maintained my half of chores and started making dinner every night. As the months went on my girlfriend began ignoring her chores and leaving them to me. After two months of laundry, dishes, dinner, breakfast, cleaning floors I had a talk with her and she agreed to do her half. Now two years later she will make comments about how I didn't help out more while unemployed, I talked to her but she believes I was in the wrong. So reddit AITA.Edit: to answer questions I pay for all of our groceries and paid half of utilities. I live in San diego and was searching for a property I could afford,  this had me driving up to Bakersfield, big bear, calling insurance companies, property management, looking at crime rates and estimating rental income. I finally purchased a property in Dallas and drove out there to do renovations. Even though I was unemployed I was not laying around doing nothing",AITA for keeping to our chores while unemployed?,YTA
10weh14,"We've been living together for a good while but had consistent issues where he's claimed that I don't clean up after myself. It got so bad we put a camera in the kitchen, and it showed I rarely go in and when I do I always clean up. My part of the chores are mostly cleaning up after myself and taking the trash out. The thing is as said before I rarely produce trash as I'm not using the kitchen much. He's been putting all the trash on the balcony and tells me to take it t the garbage. The past few days I just ignored it until he did it and he acted all passed. AITA?",AITA me my brother and nephew all live together but it seems like I'm consistently blamed for messes,YTA
10wia0h,"BACKSTORY:I am in a friend group of three (including me) around middle school age. There's Ella and Rosalie (fake names) Ella really likes to complain. Sometimes I try to give her another perspective ex: ""I hate that our violin teacher doesn't give us more time for our lessons"" and I'll say something like ""Well, maybe she doesn't have the time to do that"" and so on. She has a *very* short temper. She also talks with Rosalie a lot, and because I'm the way I am, I usually get left out of their conversations a lot. Over the summer, we all went to a summer camp (this is important for later)STORY:All of us were in our art class and the teacher let us choose where we sat so I sat with my friends. They were having some small talk, no biggie. I put in a few words here and their, but nothing too much. Eventually Rosalie was talking about going back to the summer camp this year. Ella said ""You know, if I were you, I wouldn't go. It might not be as much fun as you think."" I had heard things like this many times, and I was tired of it, so I said ""Well, NGL, but you kind of complain about everything."" She whispered to herself ""This is why I don't like you"" and didn't give any sign that this was a joke. I could tell that she was mad and I feel like such a bad friend. So Reddit, AITA?",AITA For Pointing Out That my Friend Complains About Everything?,ESH
10wbg5f,"Me (23F) and my ex friend (25F) met in school and have been good friends for 8 years.I started going through a hard time after me and my ex broke up. He was a bad person and owes me money, but is telling our group of friends, his family and friends that I am lying about everything.I told my friend at the time everything that happened between us and she said she will support me and hates my ex for what he did. She said she doesnt want to see him ever again for hurting me like that and will try to help me fix things and tell people the truth.The next day she told me that our group of friends made another groupchat without me and them and my ex were talking bad about me and my mum. I felt so betrayed and so upset.After that my friend didnt text me back for months. I kept texting her begging for her to text me back so things could be fixed because I was suffering very bad mentally, worse than I ever have.I found out a few weeks later that she has been hanging out with my ex, and is letting our friend group talk bad about me still. My ex is trying to make me look like the bad person and they believe it.I saw her out on the night of her birthday. She didnt invite me. She tried to give me a hug and then said with a big smile on her face that people from our friend group dont believe me. She was smiling and looked excited, like it was just some juicy drama or something. She didnt seem like she cared at all, like it was all a joke to her.That was the last straw for me. I started shouting at her and told her shes a bad friend for not texting me back and supporting me like she said she would, and that I know she has been hanging out with my ex while ignoring me. She cried and then her boyfriend and friends (who are part of the friend group) got mad at me for ruining her birthday.I rarely stand up for myself, and I felt good after but maybe I shouldn't have done it on her birthday. AITA?",AITA for ruining my friends birthday?,NTA
10wbfkj,"Fedor just died. They didn't even try to revive him. Would've been too late anyways. He hadn't responded 1.5hr ago when I called for him to come back inside. Mother told me not to keep calling him. Suppose she got frustrated of me somewhat yelling repetitively. So I abandoned. Let him outside as the night was about to come. Didn't think anything had happened, though I did find it odd he hadn't responded at all even faintly. Dunno if it's my fault or hers. Or theirs for not even going to the damn veto at all. We had seen he had his tummy inflated, had trouble walking. For a few weeks now. Did think of going there myself, but hadn't actually looked into it and had no reasonable way to get there myself. Didn't feel like there was an emergency anyways. Was stressed by other worthless stuff. ""Too busy"". Though I find comfort in the fact that I, alongside my brother I suppose, were the only ones actually giving them love — more than just feeding em — though definitely not enough. We never trained them to play any ""dog game"" anyways. He'd always flee as soon as he had gotten the stick. But we hadn't even tried playing in years. Definitely not a habit. And now he's dead. The other, Leila, is blind. How can one be so self-centred they'd phone their family as to talk about themselves more than the dog, and doing so *before* talking about Fedor. They disgust me. And I disgust myself for even caring about such an insignificant thing as my father's habit of bringing everything back to him, as well as I potentially being responsible for his death. Though as he hadn't been giving any signs earlier I choose to believe it would've been much too late already.Why am I even giving them any credit. He just died, surely that's what matters most",AITA for caring more about my dog Fedor's death than about my father going to the hospital for lungs and potential heart failure,NAH
10wi7ku,"Hi all! Long time lurker first time poster. Going to make names and locations vague but doesn’t change the overall question. Long story short Ive had a lot of events in the last 2 years. Got engaged, got married, and am now pregnant with our first born. I moved away from my home city to be with my now husband. I understand I am the one that moved, so I do a lot of events at back home while still having some where I live now. The cities are a 1 hour 45 minute flight away from each other. My events are as follows: bridal shower (back in my home city), bachelorette (in my new city), wedding (in my new city), baby shower (back in my home city). The meat of my question is I have a friend that has a history of only showing up when things are convenient for her or it’s something she personally really wants to do. She also got married in the last year and i flew home to help her try dresses, went to her night before wedding, and went to her wedding. She also had a bridal shower but did not tell me about it until a few weeks before and it was the Sunday after thanksgiving so I was unable to go. Context: she has no kids and her job is very flexible (I previously worked there). She has given an excuse for delaying a response to me for events or outright saying she cannot come for some inconvenience it brings her. I’ll list them.My bridal shower she delayed a reply saying she had to “plan get past her honeymoon” - she was married in March and my bridal shower was in June. She ended up coming but strangely asked my mom who was hosting if she could bring her husband.My bachelorette she told me she could not go cause traveling two weekends in a row was unrealistic - we both attended the same bachelorette the weekend prior in another city. My wedding she did not attend the night before cause she didn’t want to take work off since I was having a Friday wedding - she did however take that next Monday & Tuesday off to stay in my city and hang out with friends.. she was also in the bridal party. My baby shower she started with the honeymoon excuse again (which she’s been using for a full year now) and now it’s turned into her getting a puppy and unsure of her schedule. It’s in two weeks and the rsvp time was 3 weeks ago since the restaurant needed head count. She told me this today after saying she could 2 days ago. Mind you I gave 3 months notice for this and it’s 20 min away from her house. I finally decided to say something so I told her I was disappointed as this is now the 3rd event she cannot come to and it just seems like my things are not a priority. Added context: simultaneously while telling me she can’t figure out her schedule in two weeks she is sending flight info for our other friends wedding in a large group chat in a few months where she is staying a full week. She proceeded to tell me that friendships do not have “conditions” and travel/scheduling things is hard/my text is exhausting her. It got me to thinking, AITA here and I shouldn’t expect people to show up? Is this just a part of adulthood?",AITA for expecting a friend to show up,NTA
10wpjax,"I will preface this by saying this event happened 8 years ago.At the time, I (23f) had an online friend, Jenna (17f) who I care about dearly. She has mental health issues that her parents were unwilling to acknowledge about, so she was using her own money to purchase her own medicines. She was still in school, but she made money by doing online art commissions. Jenna's an amazing digital artist.The day I got my first bonus, I learnt her laptop is breaking down. Her laptop was her only way to make money at the time, and she was understandably stressed out. So after much thought, I decided to help her financially. We discussed at length, and eventually, we both came to an agreement that I can buy a second-hand laptop for her, which is more affordable. Currency exchange is still at play here, so I didn't have the heart to tell her that both the laptop and shipping took 90% of my bonus. I did not regret doing that though, she received the laptop safely and was grateful for it.Months later, I got another bonus, and this time I learnt another overseas friend, Eli (24m) broke his PC. Fired up from my memory of the deed I did with Jenna, I asked him if he needed any help. He said he just needed to replace some parts before a certain date.Stubbornly, I offered if there's any parts I can buy for him if he really needed it, and he was aghast at my suggestion. Eli reasoned about the currency exchange being much higher on me and buying him things is non-negotiable. I explained that I will never regret doing it, if he allows me to.At that point, Eli suspected something and eventually got me to tell him the situation with Jenna. He then asked me to screencap the laptop ebay post and calculated the price to multiply it to my currency and got pissed.I don't remember much else he said. I just remember he made good points, was disappointed in me and that I felt like shit. He said something that has became my mantra tho, ""That's not your responsibility, please don't let yourself get stepped on like this. There are other ways to help.""The next day, I got a message from Jenna angry at me for telling Eli about the laptop. She was the most upset I've ever seen her. I still felt like shit, so I couldn't respond well. She said Eli gave her an earful. She basically found out how much I paid and was probably angry due to the guilt. I felt like it really wasn't her fault, because I chose to not tell her the price in my currenncy. In the end, I took all the blame and apologized at the end of our conversation.We have rarely been in contact since.TLDR;Jenna needed help, I jumped in, and Eli was worried I will keep doing that all my life to every single troubled soul. I would.So here I am, online shopping app open, staring at a laptop for sale that I wanted to surprise-gift my foreign long-distance husband and crying.I just wanna be done with this guilt. AITA or can I just blame capitalism",AITA for spending my bonus on friend,NTA
10wbamk," This is a bit of a long story so sorry in advance. For backstory when I (15F) was 5 my family started going to a summer camp that happened once every summer for 5 days. We got really close with 1 family specifically and they had a daughter who we'll call Sarah (8F) who became close with me and my sister (11F). We even started hanging out and texting throughout the year instead of only talking at summer camp and we would have sleepovers occasionally.Fast forward to 2020, Sarah's family moved and ended up being 2 blocks away from my house! It was great at first until Sarah started going to the local public high school. She became really mean and would get jealous of the friends my sister and I would have.Fast forward even more and in March of 2021 I had made 2 friends from the summer camp I met Sarah at. We'll call them Jenna and Jeff. Jeff lives 5 hours away and is best friends with Jenna's brother and so naturally when we're all together on rare occasions, the four of us hang out a lot.After a bit, I was talking to Sarah, and I told her how I am very grateful for these friendships. After I said this Sarah admitted that she was jealous of it. She said it was because of her social anxiety. This is when I reminded her that I also have social anxiety, reassuring her that it's okay for these things to take time. All she did was downplay my social anxiety.Well fast forward again to summer camp in 2021 and the group of me and my friends was stronger than ever. The first night, we were playing volleyball and these 2 other kids, who I'll call Ruth and Eddie, are siblings and they started hanging out with us and we all joked around. Mind you Sarah was, what I felt like, fully involved in all of this.Well Sarah and I go back to the dorms and she admits to me yet again that she's jealous of how close I am with everyone. I reminded her that it takes time and that week was her perfect opportunity to become friends with them like she wants to. Ever since then Sarah has mentioned numerous times again and again how she wishes she were close with everyone like I am.Now that you have the backstory, here is where I'm struggling. Ruth texted me and said that her and Eddie are flying up in March. I asked her what days and it's miraculously the 1 weekend in March that I am free that she will be visiting. I got so excited and told Sarah a couple of days later. I said ""Guess what Ruth said!!!"" and she goes ""Let me guess, she's coming up during the ONE WEEK that I'll be busy?!"" and I went ""Um- I don't know. She said she's coming up in March"" She sighed heavily and said ""I'll see what I can do I guess""Sarah tends to be a bit rude to me and my sister when we're around this group of friends so I do go and see them when they're visiting even if Sarah can't make it. I feel worse about it this time though and I don't know why. So...WIBTA if I went and hung out with my friends even if Sarah couldn't make it?",WIBTA if I visit my friends when someone can't make it?,NTA
10w9s3q,"Once upon a time, I (23M) met a person (29F) online, and we started talking and getting pretty friendly. Eventually, I went to visit her (she lives almost 2hrs away from me). I brought my Wii U and some Legend of Zelda games with me, because she was a fan and hadn’t yet played one of the titles I had. During our day together, things got “adult,” but towards the end of the visit, I was feeling bit unsafe (due to cat allergies and sus vibes) and ultimately decided to go home earlier than expected. I let her hang onto the Wii U though, since she still wanted to play through one of the games I’d brought, and I didn’t use the system much anyway, so I figured it would be nice to let her hang onto it for a while.Time goes by, and she’d come to visit me a few times. We were still friendly for a while. As time went on though, I’d decided that we weren’t a compatible romantic match, so I cooled off contact. We figured next time I was in her town (or vice verse), I’d get my Wii U back, but I wasn’t in any rush, so I said she could hang onto it until that time came.However, the fact that I wasn’t interested in a romantic relationship greatly upset her. I had to endure onslaughts of abusive messages about how bad of a person she thought I was. Through all of it, I kept a cool head and never lashed out. I would take it in stride. Step 1.) Deal with the abusive messages. Step 2.) Stay calm and brief, and don’t say anything meanStep 3.) Deal with the inevitable apology the next morning.This cycle of harassment happened MANY times. I could’ve blocked her, but due to personal reasons from my past, I don’t like blocking people. Anyway, she was mad about still having my Wii U. I wasn’t about to drive 2 hours to risk getting close to an abusive person, so I told her I would come get it next time she was in my city (I live in the bigger city, and she comes here for concerts sometimes). Stuff was quiet for a little while. I even got into a relationship with someone else, who I’m very happy with! I wasn’t going to press about the Wii U with 29F, because I didn’t want to deal with her, plus she would repeatedly intersperse her harassment with blurbs about she didn’t want to talk to me (which I was all too happy to oblige). Eventually, she appeared again and told me she wouldn’t be coming back to my town, so I either had to come to her or she would just keep my Wii U. She was very upset that the games were still in her possession because they reminded her of me. I told her she could ship it back and that I would pay for the shipping, and then it would be all over with. Cue Step 1, Step 2, and Step 3.More quiet. Then, recently, she appeared again, saying she wasn’t able to ship the Wii U, and once again demanding that I come to her. By this point, it has been half a year. Exhausted, I told her to just keep the Wii U.",AITA for giving away my Wii U to a woman who harassed me?,NTA
10w9oyi,"I 14(m) have been begging for a PS5 from my parents ever since it’s launch and now that I’m the legal age to get a job and they won’t buy me one I simply got a job and have been working my butt off just to get a PS5, my parents saw how hard I have been working and made a deal with me, I could pay half of the PS5 and so could they, and I happily accepted the deal and started working even harder for that PS5, the day comes and I finally got half of the money and give it to my parents, The next day I wait for the PS5 and wait and wait, weeks go by and I’m still waiting for it, That’s when I finally ask them where my PS5 is and they say “oh sorry we used the money for your brothers treatment”What???, Look i know this sounds bad but my parents used MY MONEY for my brother and did not tell me and I started to get mad at them about how hard I worked and how they cannot use my money for something else without asking me, my family has since contacted me after the incident and said I was rude to my parents and should apologize to them and honestly I think I was. AITA?",AITA for getting mad at my parents for using my money for my brothers treatment?,NTA
10whh18,"I’m moving in with my friend and his girlfriend, we’re getting a 2 bedroom house but the name of the tenancy is going to be in my name and my friends girlfriend. This is so my friend won’t pay council tax but he is effectively living with us full time. The rent is a student contact so it’s 1400 for two beds. That would usually be 700 each but as there’s 3 of us it would be around 450 each. I haven’t asked what his thoughts on a split would be yet as it’s not close to the moving in period but would I be the asshole for expecting the rent to be divided by 3. Or is it only right that he and his girlfriend split their 700 payment between themselves as they are ‘sharing a room’. Meaning they both 350 each and I pay 700.Should I expect to pay 700 as that’s what’s fair? Should I expect some compromise such ass 400(him)/400(her)/600(me)Or would it be normal thing to do to split it evenly as we’re all best friends and I’d definitely do it for him. Also worth noting that’s billls not included, I’m not talking about bills, just rent.",AITA for wanting a split of the rent from my friends girlfriend?,NTA
10w7ln1,"I (15f) and my mom (41) were driving to pick up my brother (11m), and i fell asleep while on the way there.    when i woke up, the car was empty and we were parked in front of a strip of a few restaurants. I was freaked out after waking up because I get can very easily get stressed out and have panic attacks.     I got out of the car and went into a restaurant that was in front of the car to try and find my mom, but when i got inside, i started having a panic attack and i couldn't move. My mom got mad at me for ""being creepy"" and started telling everyone that i was being moody and dramatic, and just went back to her table with my brother.   about 15 minutes go by and i started to feel lightheaded because i had accidentally locked my legs, so i went into the bathroom to try and calm myself down a little bit, and keep myself from fainting. I sat in there for a little under 10 minutes until i felt better, and once i got out my mom yelled at me to go to the car.    I went to bed after we got hole because i knew she probably didn't want to see me, and when i woke up she and my brother were getting ready to go to an event which i was pretty excited about going to, but when my brother asked me if i was coming my mom said i wasn't and they left.    I had also been planning to go to a movie later with friends, and planned it to be when we would get back, but when i texted my mom if she thought she would be back in time, she responded with ""I don't feel comfortable taking you anywhere after that stunt you pulled yesterday"" and even after i tried to explain that it was a panic attack, she told me that it wasn't and panic attacks don't happen like that, and if it was i must be too unstable to go out places. It really hurt me when she said that because she knew about my panic attacks and never had a problem with them before, and i called my dad to come pick me up. When i got home, my dad told me that my mom wanted to leave me behind and lied about trying to help me get back into the car, but she still thinks shes n the right because i shouldn't have left the car, and just waited for her and my brother to get back, which made me think that im TA not only for not waiting, but also because I made a scene and might have embarrassed her, AITA?",AITA for locking myself in a bathroom?,NTA
10wajqb,"Some context first, both of us live in Brazil but she was born in China while I was born here. She has a history of unstable behaviour and mood (my therapist believes she may have bpd) and has psychologically and verbally abused me frequently since I was young, aditionally she's parentally alienated me pretty badly during a time of high emotional instability coming from my father divorcing her at the time (I was 9).My 16F mother 52F mentioned to me a few days ago that she wanted to travel to Japan next year, I said I'd think about it and she started screaming at me in the car about how I shouldn't even need to think about it, it's just a fun trip etc etc. Today I woke up to her screaming at my dad about how he should go to Japan with us because it'd be good for me (I'd be neutral about it, also, I've never even talked about my dad travelling with us, I thought she hated him), when he was driving me to school I asked about it and he told me the context I just described, I got pissed off with her. Later when she picked me up at school, I was already not in the mood to talk because of what happened this morning, but while eating lunch she mentioned that we'd spend New Year's there and I straight up refused (while I didn't tell her this, I've only recently began feeling sentimental towards the city I've lived in my entire life, since there seems to be a cultural identity disconnect in me, so I wanted to spend New Year here, also I'd like to see my girlfriend who none of my parents know of during the last week of the year), this escalated very quickly into a Mandarin screaming fit in the middle of the McDonald's we were dining at she was saying stuff like ""what even is there to see in this town? Just a big christmas tree and the usual decorations you see every year, what do you even have to brag about to your friends?"", after some moments of silence she started screaming again saying ""if you're not even going to spend the holidays there with me, you might as well just not go at all"" at this moment she began crying a bit but still screaming ""I spend every year here where I have no friends, no one to talk to or meet up with, this was just really important to me"" (she has some friends and family that might go there too, that's why she said that).A lot of the time in arguments with her I can see pretty clearly that I'm right and she's wrong, I hate her enough to be able to distinguish these situations pretty well, here however, I feel like I may have been a bit too mean? I do hate her a lot but she's still my mother and I can't imagine how incredibly lonely she must feel in this country all alone. AITA?",AITA for not wanting to travel to Japan with my mother?,NTA
10w8fwk,I (21F) had a major fight with my mom over a secret i spilled to her. A couple of days back a friend told me that her mom was cheating on her dad with his best friend and she felt very trapped and alone in her house . I told her that I will be there for her and help her out in anyway possible. I even asked her to come to my house whenever she wants and stay with me for as long as it takes . After she told me this I kind of kept this conversation with me and decided not to tell anyone. But I couldn't help thinking about it all the time and it kept eating me from inside that my friend was in so much distress. It got to a point where I just needed it to share to someone. Against all my better judgement I told my mom about it. She got hysterical and told me I couldn't visit her house anymore and that it would be very unsafe for me to go to a house where a mom is like that . She started creating hypothetical situations and said that she's saying it for my own safety and that she can decide what's good for me and what's not . I was so hurt and angry that I told her that its my fault that I ever shared anything with her and it would be the last time I would ever share anything with her. She got extremely pissed and I myself have said some harsh stuff to her and asked her to leave as I didn't want to have any further conversation with her . She went to my dad and started telling him that I am a ungrateful brat and that I'd only value her if she died and as usual my dad took her side . I don't know if the way I reacted was that bad . so am i the asshole?,AITA for having a fight with my mom after i decided to share a secret with her ?,NTA
10wd98f,"I have a very extense family, and some of them lack what you would call a filter. This is a story where I don't know if there is any AH, or several.I suffer from anxiety when meeting people I'm not comfortable with, my father shares that same issue. We try to evade ourselves when the stress level rises. He surfs the web, I read.When visiting my grandparents house, they were not alone: My grandpa's (98) sister (90) and her daughter M (55) were there. They are very old school, and started as always to advice me on things I need no opinion, less from them, that don't know me at all.Anyway, we decided to play a game of cards, and I took my ebook with me while my father took his phone. We were playing for around an hour with no issues: We were involved in the conversation and were quick to play, we just got into our mobile phone or ebook when it was not our turn and nobody was talking with us.Let's be fair, I was winning by a lot. These last three games I had won in the second turn, so most of them were out or nearly out of the game.Then, my relative M started to complain, telling me where my manners were to be in my book and not in the game. With that, my anxiety peaked, I decided to close my book and leave the game, as it didn't feel right anymore, and I hated the way she talked to me. My grandparents wanted me to play another round, and M started to tell how dramatic I am and that she didn't mean it like that. That I can read all I want, but she had that tone..I still didn't join the game. Was I the AH?",AITA for reading while playing a card game?,YTA
10wew7v,"I (22f) live with my mother (51) and niece (13). Ever since I was 14, I have looked after my niece every day after school until my mum came home. Including weekends when my mum had to work. Because of this, I never really had my “teenage years” experience as I didn’t have any free time to go out with friends. It got to the point where all of my friends stopped trying to make plans with me because I could never go/had to cancel - which then led to them not talking to me anymore. I now do not have friends at all.I do not have any social media like Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram etc because of my OCD so I can’t even make any online friends either. I also cannot get a job because I need to be home to look after her. Recently, there have been a LOT of arguments in the house due to my niece. I won’t go into detail as it’s irrelevant to this post but let’s just say that she is a very difficult child and things have gotten out of hand more than once. I have been diagnosed with CPTSD and was advised to try and get some time away from them regularly. I spoke to my family about this and it was agreed that I would have more free time. My nieces mum (my sister, 30) is now more capable of caring for my niece than she was a few years ago so the plan was that my niece would spend more time with her than with me. Giving me the free time I was recommended and also allowing me a bit of my life back, maybe even a job. Despite us coming to an agreement on that, it has never happened. Any time I bring it up, there’s always an excuse from someone that ends with me having to watch her anyway. My nieces tantrums always happen over small things (wifi not working, us not having the snack she wants, the top she wants to wear being wet from getting washed etc) so there is no way to prevent or predict them. It causes me extreme stress and always ends badly. Today one of those tantrums happened and I messaged my sister to ask her to help and maybe watch my niece for a while so I could calm down. This has resulted in her spamming me with aggressive messages saying that I never do anything for anyone and if I’m so bothered by my niece then I should just move out etc. They get worse but I won’t elaborate. I have no problem with watching my niece but I need a little bit more support when she gets like this and I also need my own personal life. I also only still live at home to help my mum with my niece and house chores/rent etc as she struggles - I’m not just living here because I’m lazy and refuse to move out. And because I can’t get a job to afford my own place because no one else will step up to look after my niece. My mum also gets pretty mad when I bring up wanting to have free time to do something. Most of the time it also ends in an argument with her too and then I can’t do what I wanted to. Long story short, I basically gave up my personal life for 8 years to look after my niece, but now that her mum is more capable and I want some free time, everyone is getting mad at me for asking.",AITA for wanting more time to myself,NTA
10w79zy,"Throwaway account because of the sensitivity of the situation. So I („Bob“, 25) and my boyfriend („Mike“ 26) have been in a relationship for the past 3 years. Mike is from Pakistan, I am from the US. We met in college in the US.Mike comes from a very conservative Muslim background. When he first arrived in the US, he was extremely religious, praying 5 times a day and never drinking / doing any drugs. He said he was also extremely homophobic. Over time he changed tremendously, he did not practice his faith as often, began drinking alcohol and began partaking in drugs. I met him after he had realized he was gay and have never experienced him being homophobic.Mike has a good relationship with his parents back in Pakistan. He is the first born of two sons, he is very smart and was able to get a high paying job in tech and send money back to Pakistan fairly often. His parents are very proud of him , as they should be. Mike has told me that he plans on never revealing that he is gay to his parents because he knows it would “break them”. He likes their current relationship and does not want to jeopardize this. I understand this and support him completely with his choice to not tell them. I understand that his views not too long ago were the same as his parents and he can understand where they come from and why they think that way. Along with this plan of not telling his parents he is gay, he has talked about future plans of faking a relationship / future marriage with a woman to please them. I also don’t have an issue with this. Here is where the issue arises. Mike wants to introduce me to his parents eventually as his friend. I would also like to meet them so this is fine for me. The thing is, I am fine going along with whatever lies Mike says to his parents. But if the parents ask me any questions, I do not want to lie to them for myself personally. I have told Mike this, as we are preparing for meeting his parents at some point in the future, and I want to be very clear that I will hide our relationship, and I will never out Mike to his parents, but I will not hide my identity.I do not want to go back to hiding my sexuality. I also feel like if Mike ever changes his mind, me having lied to his parents about my identity would only make things more difficult. Mike prefers if I tell his parents that I am in a relationship with a woman, if the topic arises (which it might considering our ages). WIBTA if I do not lie about my identity to further ensure that my boyfriends parents never get suspicious? If his parents ask if I am married, I will say I am not. If they ask about a relationship, I say I have a partner back home. If they ask that I am gay, I will say yes (I cannot imagine that ever coming up though). If they ask about if I am dating their son, I will deny it tooth and nail. I will never out Mike. I just want to keep my own integrity in the situation.",WIBTA if I did not lie to my boyfriends conservative parents about being gay?,YWBTA
10wa7ot," I (F27) have 2 nephews (M13 and M11) from my sister (F33). My 13 year old nephew is a good kid, he’s popular, athletic and has good grades. A few months ago, our entire family (my siblings, nieces and nephews, fiance, ect) were on vacation together. My 13 y/o nephew met a boy his age in the hotel, the boy was wearing a jersey of a basketball team my nephew hadn’t heard of, he asked him about it and they became friends over their shared love of basketball. The boys often FaceTime each other, recently my nephew’s friend got a girlfriend, my nephew asked him for advice and he suggested some cologne. My nephew asked to buy it and we did. The day after it came, he put some on and asked the girl he liked out, she said yes. Our 11 year old nephew is a different story, he’s a pretty mean kid and recently some events has caused some tension between my nephews. The first is my younger nephew tried stealing his brother’s cologne, whether or not it helped him get a girlfriend is debatable, but my nephew attributes it to this, so his younger bro wanted it, he said no. The younger one tried stealing it and tore apart the older’s room while doing it. My sister and her husband got the older one a lock and punished him. The second is much worse imo, like I said, my older nephew is popular, the girl he asked out is a very smart girl but also pretty introverted because she’s autistic. Recently, my nephew had his girlfriend over, along with his friends, they were playing video games, and at times, the boys got too loud, so my nephew’s gf put on some headphones. My nephew is understanding of his gf’s needs and doesn’t care about the headphones, he’s working to adjust his behaviors to accommodate her, it's really sweet to see.My 11 y/o nephew has been actively antagonizing her, from making loud noises to mocking her stimming. He’s also made some wildly sexist remarks about her. My sister and her husband tried things to stop him but he wouldn’t, so they asked if he could stay with me and my fiance. For schooling related reasons, my fiance’s 15 y/o brother lives with us. He is autistic and very into self advocacy. We asked him his thoughts on it and he thought it would be cool to have him stay over. It’s been a few days and my fiance’s brother has been trying to teach him about his behaviors, why he eats the same foods, ect. My nephew has been hostile, my fiance’s brother doesn’t care, as he’s very patient. However, our parents are not on board, they’re saying that my sister and I shouldn’t be “torturing” our son because he’s upset about this punishment and said we were a-holes for “making him miserable” and that our 13 y/o nephew “is in a middle school relationship and 99% of those don’t last”. Our siblings are divided on the manner. AITA?",AITA for taking in my nephew for a week?,YTA
10wa0py,"So for context my parents are really funny about doctors and they have always tried to put off my problems and say that there's nothing wrong. They have almost been safeguarded a few years ago for not getting me help for a knee injury (I think it was a torn ligament). I have been getting recurring utis since December and 2 weeks ago when I told her I had one again I also said I'd give it a week and if it doesn't clear up I want to see a doctor. I went to school and asked for a toilet pass too and the medical lady said that I need my mum to get me an appointment. As soon as I hit the 1 week mark and it was getting worse I told my mum and nothing happened and I ended up having to go to my counsellor at school and book an appointment by myself which was stressful because the rules around kids my age (15) and being alone at the doctors are iffy. I ended up getting antibiotics on Thursday and by Monday I was getting symptoms again. By this time I had been bleeding for weeks and started showing other symptoms. The medical lady almost safeguarded her again and said I could be anaemic. I was sat in my room yesterday and my mum came up and I told her I need a doctors appointment and she started to get pissy and started saying please don't make me take a day off and I got upset at this because she always tries to make things like this my fault. I reminded her that I said that I'd give it a week and she agreed to that and that she almost got safeguarded because she's not helping me. She got even angrier and told me that she's been holding back for a while and started saying shit along the lines of ""ever since you have been with your boyfriend you have been getting utis"" which there is absolutely no link at all and I don't know why she'd bring it up. She leaves for work at 8 and starts at 9 and I leave for school at 8 and the doctors open at 8 but you can only book appointments at this time which is extremely inconvenient and I get that but she always tries to make it out as my fault. She tried telling me she'd do it on Friday but I need one sooner and I had to push her to call them today. She called them this morning and was 4th in the queue before the medical lady at my school called and cut her off and she got mad and I just left the house to go to school. I have been getting dizzy and have been short of breath at school and almost fainted today and I tried to call the doctors myself at break time at 11am but got told they're fully booked and I need to call at 8. I told her again an hour ago that I need a doctor and she just unleashes on me saying that her friends at work agreed I'm old enough to do it myself and that she's stressed at work and my dad's car got rear ended by another one and I just felt completely defeated. I understand that she is stressed but I have been getting bouts of dizziness and have passed out in front of her for years and need a doctor and she just doesn't care. Am I being insensitive or is this justified?",AITA for pestering my mum for a doctors appointment even though she is stressed,NTA
10wcqxw,"I have a university class where the current assignment is to write a true story from our past that has deeply affected who we are.My close friend “Tom” is writing about how his grandparents died in a crash and the depression it caused him. This story is not true; he is writing it so he has an interesting topic and to get a good grade. I thought about it for a while and decided to write about my grandfather’s passing, which taught me the importance of always maintaining bonds because you never know when you could lose someone. I was writing this narrative in when a fellow student read the title from behind me and asked “why are you writing about something like that?” I told her that, “it’s not such a big deal. Tom is writing about his depression after his grandparents died”The girl told many people about this and now Tom is very mad at me as many people know that it isn’t true and he might get in trouble with the professor. So, Reddit, AITA?",AITA for talking about my friends story to defend mine?,NTA
10wedgy,"Hi everyone, I'm not a frequent user here or a native speaker so apologies ahead for any mistakes.So, me(24F), have a bit of an intense relationship with my sister (36F), I'll call her Laura. We grew up with a single mother and another sister.Laura moved abroad five years ago due to her husband's work. Even before she moved away I kept my contact with her as little as possible because, well, to be honest I really do not like her personality. She's very controlling, all about herself, wants everything done how she likes it and constantly expects gratitude for every little thing she does. For more context, she was quite rich before moving abroad (she's a SAHM, her husband is rich) and would give me and my other sister expensive stuff like designer bags and clothes (these would not be new, just her old used stuff). The problem here is that my mom never had much money and at the ages 15-16 i would be wearing expensive designer clothes with no money in my expensive designer bags. Like that wasn't absurd enough she would always expect gratitude. I spent years of my life thanking her for stuff that I did not even want/need in the first place. So I guess my resentment of her grew from here.Now that Laura is abroad, and can't visit due to visa stuff, not keeping in touch with her makes me feel better. I feel bad saying this but I really don't think I have any love for her in me even though she is family. I wish i had some but i just don't. I talk to her rarely and this upsets her. The thing is even on those rare occasions that i talk to her I just feel awful, on every phone call I have to listen to her for an hour talking about emotional stuff which I just can't reciprocate. Every time I talk to her it's only because I force myself. I force myself to talk to her so that she doesn't feel bad and it's a duty to me because we share blood but not a single cell in my body wants this. I don't miss her and I'm tired of lying so that she would not be upset. The other day she called me to congratulate me on my graduation, and I was so happy until I saw her name on my phone. I did not even want to hear congrats from her, everything related to her just gives me a stomachache. So I did not pick up, and she called my mom complaining about me not picking up, not taking my time to talk to her more often, that i have time to talk to my boyfriend but not my sister etc.I just need to hear an outside view on this. AITA for not wanting to talk to my sister because it makes me feel bad?",AITA for refusing to contact my sister more often?,NTA
10wgkjs,I 27f have decided that i want to go back to school & for esthetics my bf 31mhas been cold shouldering me about it. before you get to judging him i'll get into the background info we have a 2 1/2 year old so we would have to make this work for both of our schedules. i have also been a bit flighty w/ what i want to do with my life in general so i can kind of understand his concern.i was a stay at home mom for 2 years during this time i did a 2 day doula certification but once i tried it out i hated it. he worked full time & after my son turned 2 i got a job on the weekends during his time off. i love my job - he hated his - i told him he should quit & pursue something he wanted to do whether that be school etc. i've been working full time & he's taken on stay at home dad role. he decided a couple of weeks ago to go back to mechanics & found a nice gig at an up & coming local performance shop but it's only 3 days a week. so i changed my work schedule again & have been working 4 days on all of his off days. our son goes to a co op preschool 2 days a week & i take him to school & 2 times a month i work the school.a friend has been talking about going to school for this &  first i didn't want to - esthetics was something i used to really want to do but the market is oversaturated so i never entered. but recently i realized that if i got my master esthetician license i could open up my own laser tattoo removal or even a salon and rent spaces out to other beauticians etc. it would be a good career since i could be apt based & be flexible to the needs of my family. i have been doing research on the 4 available schools in my area. only 1 will allow me to still keep my sons schedule but the first 7 weeks the schedule is tight so our son would potentially miss some school but there’s also still time to work that part out. if i start in april he would have a couple weeks off for spring break so he wouldn't miss as much school plus the 3 months he of summer break. since we also have to work the school 2 a month i could ask the co op if i could cut my times for 2 months & work x2 after the first 7 weeks of the program. i understand it's inconvenient & last minute but i have planned out the scheduling pretty well & i just want to have a sit down go over what i’ve worked out. it would be best if i just took the risk now. our son is 2 he doesn't NEED to go to school we just wanted him to get that head start opportunity. idk how long he's only going to be working 3 days a week & i've always put his schedule up front & been willing to support & talk about whatever when the times come about. i have already done my fafsa & am in contact w the school. he keeps saying i'm rushing it. i get it i do but they only hold class 2x a year next is oct which is unknown for his schedule & our son would be in the beginning of his school year.  (i did mention my friend earlier she will not be attending the same class or time as me) WIBTA if i went through with school anyways?,WIBTA if i went went through with something behind my bf back?,YTA
10we52d,"We've had a cat for years. Probably about 9 or 10 now so he's getting abit old now. He's been in 3 houses now and is more of an outdoor cat, bit feral but on the whole he's just a bog standard cat.Anyway, in house number 3 about a year in let's say, the cats roaming about, upstairs downstairs, comes in when he likes and all the rest of it. He's settled in to put it in a nutshell.Anyway they then decide to get a dog, now I'm not an expert but Id say it's common knowledge cats and dogs DONT get on 99% of the time. I'm not against dogs, but the way I look at it is just let the cat live out the last year's of its life in peace and if you want a dog then sure go ahead. At the time I said I didn't think it was a good idea but it was sort of ignored by a change of subject. Like I said the cats abit feral so introductions we're never gonna go well with a puppy (although I'd say about 6 MAX lacklustre attempts at introducing the pets were made). They also made a case of saying the DOG was in danger not the cat? Within 3 months the dog was double the size of the cat and barked like a bastard everytime the cat was within sniffing range so obviously the cat wanted nothing to do with it.Anyway fast forward to now. The cat is forced to stay in for weeks on end because now everytime he goes out he stays there for 4 days+ and since getting the dog we thought he went missing about twice, then we have to go and get him from the neighbours and he waltz's in as thin as a rake. He stays upstairs, in fairness to my mum the dog has been trained not to go up the stairs at all so the cat is safe up there but he's got now easy way in or out unless someone puts the cat out or brings him in.The dog now knows what my mum does every few nights to go out and get the cat if he's gone out a few days prior. He goes ballistic. We have to lock him in his crate to take the cat upstairs.On the side of my mum just to try to unbias this abit, she wanted a family dog, fine. Most of the time dogs are more fun and sociable to be around and cats in general do there own thing.She wanted to use the dog to connect with me mabye? I'm not sure to be honest if anyone could shed some light that'd be nice.The overall conflict is my mum got a dog while we have an old cat and acts like nothings wrong when imo it is, am I the asshole for confronting her occasionally about it (not aggressively) and getting into mini arguments?",AITA For thinking mums actions are wrong?,NTA
10wjdxj,"At the gym I go to, there’s a track with 3 lanes. The direction that people are supposed to run changes each day. At least a few times a week, there will be someone who runs the other way on the track, and doesn’t change lanes when people are approaching. Seems like people are pretty annoyed by it, but they just don’t say anything. WIBTA for telling them that they’re going the wrong way?",WIBTA for pointing out to someone that they’re supposed to run the other way on the track?,NTA
10wah5q,"I(19M) am about to move into an off campus house for the next school year. I also have a best friend(19M) who has been wanting to move in with me since freshman year of university (we are both sophomores currently). We made plans to meet and dedicate time to talk about it but nothing ever happened. Eventually I got tired of failing plans and sought out a place of residence on my own and found a place that would cost me 2 grand annually which is perfect for my budget. Eventually, I meet up with my best friend and break him the news that unless we find a place that is cheap and close to campus I would be moving in that house. He immediately went silent and blamed me for not telling him sooner and after we both went back to our dorms he sends a lengthy paragraph text about how I ditched him and I would rather choose to live other friends rather than with him. To put into more context, this house would be me living with 4 other people and we would all spit the cost evenly.  Further, the people who already live there knows the land lord which helps us keep costs down. We share almost every class together and it is hard to avoid him. Apparently he is very mad, and he has also left me on read when I tried to explain that approximately 500 dollars a month wouldn't be within my budget and would be dumb considering the opportunity that I have. Overall, he is mad that I surprised this discission on him, and that I am not looking too hard to find a house for just me and him. AMIA?tl;dr - My friend is mad at me for moving into a cheaper place rather than spending more money so that we can both move in together",AITA if I move in a cheaper apartment than live with my friend,NTA
10wfz3l,"Alright peeps, here's the deal, there's a lot of moving pieces and details so I will try to be succinct as possible--My bestie, (27F, American) who we will call Olivia, met a man (36M, Aussie) who we will call Dante, 6 months ago at my friend Ian's party that I brought her to. Olivia who is originally from Cali, where I currently live and where we met, was living in FL at the time. She had come to Cali to visit me and stayed at my house with my boyfriend and I for a week. She was currently in a year and a half relationship long distance relationship with a guy who we will call Simon, who she was having ongoing problems with. Simon was not willing to make her a priority and she had spent the evening at the party I had brought her to complaining to strangers about Simon. Dante, was immediately smitten with Olivia and started pursuing her.A little back story-- I had met Dante 10 years prior through my friend Peter (another Aussie, who had moved back to Aus), who is also how I know Ian. I didn't remember Dante at all until he mentioned Peter, who I had not spoken to in many years (we had a big falling out that was a huge miscommunication.Back to present-- Dante was immediately very cold to me when we met, stating that he was Peter's friend and he knew that Peter and I had had a falling out. I stated that it was a regret of mine but that I missed Peter but we were both very young at the time and I wish we could patch things up. Then he started talking to my friend Olivia and was all about her. Everyone at this party knew Olivia was going through some rocky shit with her current bf, Simon, but somehow Dante still got her number and after she went back to FL, they continued to chat.My boyfriend, we will call him Kaden, and I, had advised Olivia that her relationship with Simon was toxic and she broke up with him the next day. We had talked about Olivia moving back to Cali for a while and she decided it was time and she would be moving here in Jan 2023 and would live in our backhouse. A few months ago by, and she decides to come back to Cali to see if she does want to move, and so she stays in our backhouse for 2 weeks. During that time she starts hanging with Dante (apparently they had been texting consistently since she had left but only as friends), they then start dating. The next few months, the timeline goes as follows, a series of insane love-bombing--\*Week 1 of dating - Dante gives her a diamond bracelet\*Week 2 of dating - He gives her diamond earrings\*Week 3 of dating - She goes back to FL, they are now doing long distance\*Week 4 of dating - He gets her NAME tattooed on his arm\*Month 2 of dating - He goes to FL, meets her whole fam\*Month 3 of dating - He buys an ENGAGEMENT RING\*Month 4 of dating - He PROPOSES, she says YES. Oh, and she expects me to be her MOH.Jan 2023, as planned from before she met Dante, she moves into my backhouse, assures me that as promised she would live in our backhouse for at least a year and that they planned to get married in December 2023. A few weeks later, she tells me that it's going to be August 2023, now. And then the end of January last month, she says it's actually going to be June.Now for the RED FLAGS other than the love-bombing--1. Since the moment my boyfriend and I met Damon, there was something unsettling about him, he always has a dark cloud over his head, seems to be fake nice and just tries to hard to be accommodating in a way that seems disingenuous. He always has a nervous energy, does not speak unless you address him/include him.2. He NEVER disagrees with Olivia, even saying that he told her that he will NEVER tell her no.3. He is ALWAYS high. I mean, always. Prior to dating Olivia he was sober for around 8-10 years because he was married to a woman before (who died of cancer) who he did drugs and drank with and used these both to cope after she died. Olivia's family are big social drinkers and eaters, and she he visited her family with her, he started drinking again.4. He had been pescatarian very strictly for over 10 years, when he started dating Olivia, he started eating meat with her family because he wanted them to like him.5. He has no friends. Except for his fam and friends across the seas. He calls himself a ""lone wolf.""6. I've seen flashes of his anger which he tries very hard to keep below the surface. He and Olivia have never argued, but have had disagreements but decide to not say what they really think.7. The fact that he has accelerated their engagement, marriage etc so quick, like what is the rush!8. The BIGGEST red flag of all-- Kaden and I have been together for 4.5 years, we live together and share a dog and we have a wonderful relationship. Kaden is the sweetest man alive, he is protective, loving, and adores Olivia as a sister. They have a very pure platonic friendship based on love and respect. Kaden and I have a very healthy and strong circle of friends who we share platonic intimacy as we are big huggers and very cuddly people. Olivia and I snuggle all the time, hug and are very close.    1. \-Olivia, Dante, Kaden, me, and Olivia's fam who were visiting all went out. Everyone was drinking and having a good time. While we were at the bar, Kaden was petting me on the head, then pet Olivia on the head and was like ""Sweet girls, sweet friends"" (he is very goofy and was just being cute. He is the MOST disarming man).    2. \-We all leave the bar, Kaden leaves his car at Dante's since he had drank. 2 days pass, I had to go to the hospital (I suffer from seizures and migraines), Kaden took me and stayed with me all night and we didn't get any sleep. The next morning, Kaden finally has a chance to pick up his car from Dante's. Kaden mentions he had no sleep and that I was in the hospital. Dante then CONFRONTS my boyfriend saying to him - ""man to man, I did not feel comfortable with you touching my fiancee, none of my mates at home would ever do that, and do not do that again."" Kaden responds with ""hold on, I have always had this type of comfortable relationship with Olivia, I think of her as a sister, I would go far as to say a paternal love for her"", Dante snapped and said ""yeah, well she's a grown ass woman, and she has a dad."" Kaden was taken aback and said that this is something Olivia should have brought up to Kaden if she was uncomfortable. Kaden had to leave for work so couldn't get into it and there were people around she he said they would figure out something later.   3. \-Kaden then brings this up to Olivia, she didn't know that Dante was going to do this. I was LIVID, like I wanted to run over Dante with my car that's how mad I was. This was also not the first time this happened. Dante and Olivia were at a gay bar with her friends and a gay guy was touching her hair and Dante got all crazy on him also! Then I found out that when Dante was with his ex wife, he went out of town, and Peter (his friend that I know, who has known Dante for 25 years) took Dante's ex wife for dinner to keep her company and Dante freaked out on him also!!!!I told Olivia everything above. I told her all the red flags and that she should seriously take more time getting to know Dante before marrying him. She doesn't want to listen, is basically taking his side acting like he is so misunderstood, and she is acting like Kaden and I are the bad guys. She is now saying they want to do a destination wedding in June (4 MONTHS FROM NOW) and that if our friends can't make it short notice then whatever.Help me out reddit fam-- AITA or has she LOST HER DAMN MIND!?",AITA for telling my bestie not to marry a man she's known for 6 months who has RED FLAGS,NTA
10wa2hb,"So I run a racing league on the F1 game. It's something for fun and we have stewards, admins, commentators ect. Last week I had two of my stewards get into a lap 1 incident which the other stewards had to look at and decide what penalty to give. The steward in question (we will name him John for the sake of it) John was upset that he wasn't being listened to and agreed with by the majority of admins/ stewards who showed him the rulebook and explained to him why it was a penalty. John wasn't supposed to argue it as stewards can't comment on their own incidents. John made off comments such as ""this is a joke"" or threatening to leave. His last comment was ""I will be appealing if this joke of a decision is passed"". I feel bad as he's a good friend and a trustworthy steward and seeing him upset over a decision a group of us made, made me feel bad.We then penalised him after getting in all of the admins and stewards' opinions knowing full well what was going to happen as he'd told us. So we set up for our usual appeals process which we rarely have to use. The appeals both came in calmly with no nasty words between anyone. Nothing more was said till today in which I got this message in our main league chat "" I would like my stewarding privileges removed. I can't be a part of a team that finds me guilty for the incident"".I responded with ""I did believe that you were a good and fair steward, but that's your decision so I can't make you do it"". To be honest I wanted to say how unproffessional and pathetic it was but I thought not to.In conclusion am I the asshole for penalising a steward in my league?",AITA for penalising a steward in my league,NTA
10wd0t2,"Let me give you a bit of background I had been relayed a “secret” by a friend. But, the secret being told was something I deemed as “morally unacceptable.” He found out somehow - unbeknownst to me and he didn’t say anything until another friend mentioned it in an argument. My assumption was actually wrong and I’d almost ruined a friendship by saying it to that person. Their point is “friends should die by each other”. Regardless of situation. My view is: I want you to learn from right and wrong. Regardless if I’m a dick in their eyes. Am I wrong? Is it conflict of views?  Am I a snake? I don’t know. I’m in a situation of I’ve known him for 8 years almost, but I also want to be friends where I know what I say won’t be thrown back in my face 24/7. I’m just unsure on this whole situation.I don’t really want to give too much background as the situation is pretty unique and would stand out like a sore thumb.Edit: The secret was essentially they didn’t actually like “someone” but that wasn’t necessarily what they meant. I misinterpreted the meaning of what they meant.",AITA for not keeping a secret of a friends?,YTA
10w9ddr,"I live with my SO and my MIL and my 10 year old son. My MIL was injured and required extensive surgery. She was already living with us due to her age, so having her on extensive bed rest wasn't any great change to our house except her physical location during the day.She ended up going from staying on the couch in the living room to staying in her room to keep her feet elevated while she healed. We moved the TV from our room into her room to keep her entertained in the meantime as hers had broken not too long before that. I'd been wanting it out for a while anyway due to our bad habits of staying up late watching TV and wrecking our respective sleep schedules, and we still had the one in the living room if we felt the need to watch anything.Fast forward two years later and she's gone from being *very* involved and busy around the house to being extremely self isolating in her room. She's gotten used to getting what she needs and then just staying put. It didn't help that her sister gave her the idea that she ""might be in the way of the relationship"" between my SO and myself just before the surgery happened which just added fuel to the ""I don't want to be in the way"" fire. We have tried to explain she *isn't* in the way and we *prefer* her to be out in the common areas so we can all interact but she's convinced herself to stay hidden away. I've made dinner some nights and she declines joining us at the table, taking her plate to her room. I've even asked her if there's anything I've done or could do to reassure her, but she prefers to tell me everything is fine. She is depressed and has worked herself into a maze of doubt. The days that TV hasn't been working, it's like the old days again. She's in the living room watching something amusing that we join in to make comments about. I've even made happy remarks when we spend time out in the common areas together. We've tried to include her in everything we do but there's that stupid nagging demon in the back of her mind we can't seem to conquer. I want to go back to how things used to be, but I can't just yank a TV out from under an old lady without good reason, so I'd rather just... disable it. It was ""my"" TV from when I moved in, acquired long before my SO and I got together, so I'd be the only one eating anything in actual cost. I don't want to just take a sledgehammer to it as I feel that may misconstrue my intentions behind it.   *ME GET MAD ME SMASH SHINY BOX*Get your ass back out here in the living room and be part of the family again, Bernice!I have not talked to my SO about this as I could bet it would sound extreme, but I feel I've exhausted just about every other possibility we've discussed so far. My SO is more of the ""talk it out"" type but when the other one is so lost in their own mind maze that they no longer believe mere words, then I become a fan of action.>!honestly I'm also still trying to figure out how to pull this mess off so it may be completely moot in the end!<",WIBTA if I break my own TV to similarly break MIL's semi self inflicted habits?,YTA
10wi3j7,"Long story short: bfs female coworker made an unexpected move on me while out for a girls night and now I’d rather not hang out with her. He thinks I’m being a jerk and overreacting. Long story: Bf asked me to hang out with his coworker. He said she was recently divorced, lost her mom to cancer and needed a friend. I said sure and we went out a few times, she joined our gym, all was going great until the disastrous girls night .After she drank too much, I drove her and her car home and asked if I should take a taxi home or stay over. It was 3am and she said she would get me pjs to stay. I fell asleep on the sofa and woke up to her naked on top of me. She said ‘hey’ and then kissed me.I was in complete shock and felt super awkward after. My partner thought it was hilarious and has repeatedly told me to stop overthinking things and not to be a jerk when I said I don’t want to hang out with her again.",AITAH for not wanting to hang out with my partners coworker?,NTA
10wcfll,"I (22f) have a pretty close and trusting relationship with my mom (54f), i was always a traditionally “good kid” when growing up. Now I live in different city for school, and since gaining some independence, we’ve grown apart a bit. I know some of my lifestyle choices are a bit stressful or disappointing for her to deal with, but we don’t really fight. (i.e she says she doesn’t “understand” my sexual orientation but accepts and loves me, doesn’t like that i smoke weed, would have a heart attack if i told her what was in my nightstand, etc.)The relevant issue here is that of my roomate/friends(also 22f) motorcycle. My mom HATES motorcycles, calls them “death machines”, and has said she never wants me to ride one. She once told me she had an ex-boyfriend who rode a bike so I think that has something to do with it. The problem is that my friend works at the same university i go to school at, and has offered to drive me to class some days to save me the time on my commute. She has her full license, an extra jacket and helmet (we’re around the same size so it would fit me), and has been riding bikes basically her whole life with her dad. I understand that it would still be dangerous (all bikes are) but I trust my friend, and i feel like at this point, maybe what my mom knows won’t hurt her? but i also know if she found out i lied to her she’d be super pissed.would i be the asshole if i got a ride on my roomates bike and didn’t tell my mom?",WIBTA if i went for a ride on my friends bike?,NTA
10wedzm,"for context, i am 14 (male) , my grandmother is 72. i was staying with her temporarily when she came hime drunk and starting yelling at me 💀💀 am i in the wrong??i really dont think i am, but for whatever reason my grandma seems to think so.it was morning and i went to go get breakfast. i got a bowl of cereal. there was just hardly any milk left and i didnt think anything of it, so of course, i used it. my grandma wanted to go to the store that week anyway. later, she found out i had took the rest of the milk. she yelled at me and said she'd need to go to the store that afternoon because i ""selfishly stole"" the milk. she didnt come back for another 6 hours. i called her to make sure she was okay (before she got home) and she answered, drunk of course, but she wasnt upset. she thanked me for checking on her and told me everything was fine. then, she came home. drunk. yelled for me to come downstairs and went on a rant about how im selfish. saying ""you're not the only one in the fucking house, dont take the last of anything. you leave a little bit in there for someone else."" i had literally never been told this before. not once in my life was i ever aware that i was supposed to do that. it wasnt necessary. she continued to say, ""when i was in fostercare, i was taught to leave a little bit of something behind for someone else. its common courtesy. learn respect for your elders."" cussing at me, yelling and just really over reacting. im super terrible at confrontation and scared to death of authority figures. i was scared. i cried and was shaking in fear. i apologized and all she fucking said was ""no dont be sorry its already done. i dont care im just teaching you something"". im not visiting her for a long time, to say the least. and now im kinda scared to be using the last of any food or drink. should i of known to leave some for someone else??EDIT!! im not staying with my grandma at this moment. im back with my wonderful mom. i am leaving the state soon anyway and wont see her for quite a while.   thanks for the feed back. i really wanted to hear similar experiences and if this was really a ""common sense"" thing. which i recieved those, i appreciate it. thank you.",AITA for using the last of the milk?,NTA
10wa68z,"Apologies for the length; tried to include as much information as possible for balanced context.So my husband (34M) and I (34F) recently moved to a 3 bedroom house. Prior to moving, we lived in a 1 bedroom flat for 13 years. He’s pretty messy and a bit of a hoarder. I’m very minimalist with my possessions and a raging neat freak. When we lived in the flat, our solution to minimise arguments was to have little pockets of our own space. Shelves and drawers that we could each keep the way we wanted. Since we are childfree, we agreed that in the new house we would expand this solution and each have our own room. He has a gaming/music room, and I have an office. The 3rd bedroom is the master bedroom, where both of us sleep. As fussy as I am about the rest of the house, I have been careful to take a “none of my business” approach to his room.​We both work full time, and split the bills and the housework. I work in healthcare, so I’m gone from 7:30am - 5:30pm weekdays (I occasionally do case notes from home, hence the office). He works remotely from home every day.​We have two cats. They are both 13 and we got them as kittens. Our flat was on a busy road, so they've always been indoor cats. They’ve never shown any signs of distress about this. They seemed perfectly content in our flat and have adjusted well to the move.We love them. They're our babies. I’m more than willing to deal with the not-so-great things that come with cat ownership because they’re far outweighed by the amazing things. I will happily vacuum up fur, scrub hairballs out of the carpet and clean shit out of the bath.​Now, onto my potential assholitude. I keep my office door shut when I’m not in it. It’s not locked, so my husband is able to go in if he needs to use the printer or whatever. The reason is to stop the cats from going in there unsupervised. As much as I love them, and I’m happy for them to be in there with me, I would rather they not shred my ottoman and knock my perfume bottles over playing The Floor is Lava while I’m at work.My husband has been deliberately keeping the door open while I’m out. I have requested several times that he keep it closed, but he has argued that he “enjoys opening the house up for the cats in the morning”, that “it’s the cats’ space too” and they “need the stimulation”. I just think that the cats have access to a living room, kitchen, three hallways, 2 staircases (yes relevant, they play on them a lot), 3 bathrooms, the bedroom and my husband’s gaming room (he chooses to allow the cats unlimited access). There are plenty of toys and window sills with the same view as my office, and one more room won’t be the difference between the cats being happy and being miserable. I don’t think it’s unreasonable, when we have two spare bedrooms, to want one room in which I decide what happens when he has the same. But he’s called me selfish and anal and ignores my requests.​AITA for this?",AITA for wanting my home office door shut while I'm out?,NTA
10w8hho,"I am currently traveling and have been for the last 2 months through latin/Central America. My friend and I were travelling together over Xmas and a few days into the new year in a foreign country. He returned home a few days into January.He was told that he would have another month off work until his next contract. I encouraged him to come back and travel with me more or go to Korea (his dream destination.) He brushed me off and said no, he wanted to furnish his new rental apartment, go to the gym, have a routine and go on dates in his home city rather than travel… 😵‍💫😵‍💫 I got pretty upset about this, because his next 6 months to 2 years were gonna be filled with work and not being able to leave his home city.Now he was told he has another month free and now decided he wants to travel again. He has always wanted to go to Rio for carnival. So here’s the dilemma. I want to get settled in another South American country, my Spanish is decent and I’m done backpacking for a bit and want to chill in one place for a few months. He booked tickets to carnival for 2 weeks. I’m not totally interested in rio for carnival as I’m not a huge festival person. I suggested that we could do a week in Brazil or 9 days then come to the country that I want to settle in or else I’m not going to Brazil as I am done backpacking and tired. He says no because he doesn’t have enough time (but he wants to catch a flight to the north of the country) which is the same amount of time as flying to the country where I want to settle. He says he promises he would visit after his work contract is done but chances are I wouldn’t even be living there then.He is pissed because I am using the same excuse as he did a month ago and he says I’m being selfish.",AITA for not wanting to go on vacation with my best buddy,ESH
10w9r63,"I 19(f) is currently living with my parents and well safe to say it's hell. The constant manipulation and degradation is lowering my self esteem in the worst ways possible. I confronted my mother about it and now my family thinks that I'm the asshole that made her sad.For the context.Having my mom tell me I'm not beautiful enough and she wished for a precious beautiful daughter that would just do as she pleases.( I consider myself to be pretty ha ha ig) . She is never happy with anything i do and she's always complaining to everyone about it.I am working hard to manage my life as well as my grades. It's tiring when I'm subjected to the constant reminder of how much my parents spend on me and how i should better start earning good and soon so i can help pay all the debts off .To say, my parents took tons of loans and we are trapped in this cycle. Now they want to take a loan on my name. I just started college and i cannot bare to pay that much even before my career begins. My mom straight away said that she wants me to pay for my brother's college and that her precious boy wouldn't have to deal with much and i shall give him the best life .I wouldn't even complete my degree by the time his college will start and how can I even save anything for my future if I'm supposed to do all that.Neither i can buy anything by my own free will . I always have to ask my parents beforehand. My mom even uttered these malicious words that if they ever get a divorce i would be the reason behind it.She makes me feel like hell. I'm maybe depressed? Idk i cannot afford a therapist. Her parents, my grandparents they always like always set her mind that I'm her mistake. That I'm the fucked person here. Her sisters and brothers are the worst. We have a salon and they take services in free and her brother lmao he steals whenever he comes to our home. He stole thousands yet she still complains how i don't like her side of the family.I know my dad didn't want me as I've heard he didn't even pick me up in his arms in the first week after i was born as he expected me to be a boy. It's devastating. My mother's side wanted her to get an abortion in my time. It's a lot to take it somehow.I will surely tell more ha ha but I've written a lot !!!",AITA for wanting to leave my home after i get a job?,NTA
10wbklk,"Brief background to begin with. I am 34, been married to my wife for 8 years and we have a son who is 2. My wife has had a dog all her life  and we have a dog now too, we see it as the family dog ​​but it is on her initiative that we have a dog.Last summer, my parents invited all their children, with families, to a large zoo for 2 days with an overnight stay.My mother turned 60 and wanted to treat the family to a nice weekend.Just before departure, our dog became ill and needed to go to the vet. My wife wanted us all to stay at home, but I thought she could stay home with the dog and that I should take our son and go to the zoo and see my family.She was very angry and thought it was incredibly selfish of me too leave her with the dog.Our dog had problems with his stomach from time to time, but it was never life threatening.I ended up leaving late in the afternoon and barely had time to see the family that day, and the next day my wife came by train and joined us at the zoo on day 2.",AITA for leaving my wife at home with our sick dog to see my family?,NTA
10wdprw,"Repost Im a pretty independent introverted person but I have a good handful of friends I enjoy spending time with. I moved to another state and one of my good friends happened to be moving an hr away from me for work too.  His church is located 15 minutes from me so he regularly ""invites"" himself to visit me on the weekends; staying over Saturday and going to church on Sunday. I didnt mind at first because being in a new state I dont know anyone but my good friend but I started noticing a few things. He began to expect me to have food stocked in my house and even the last time he visited mentioned ""You dont have alot of breakfast food for me when I visit"" while cooking breakfast for himself with what I did have in the fridge. Now for my out of state friends who visit I typically do try to stock the fridge, but I live alone Im not buying food for more then me. Also my friend has never invited me over to his place since his ""roommates dont like visitors"". Didnt think much of it since he does live an hour away in one of the outskirts cities and not to interested in going.Im not such how to address this. We been friends since middle school and we even went to summer camp every year together.  It feels like he taking advantage a bit. I think I'm the asshole because I'm not following conventional hosting rules and my friend is coming over to my house. I could just be over thinking things like they offered to come over to cook my food for me if I didnt want to.",AITA for being mad at my friend for eating my food,NTA
10wb86k,"I have been working a food service job since September, and I have learned a lot as this is my first job ever, I have made many friends and get along with all of my coworkers except 1, She is about my age but she treats me like I'm way younger then I am, When I started this job I was very slow and in all honesty not a very good worker, but after a few months a found my footing. She was gone for a few months due to an injury and when she came back I thought she was different and ok with me now but I guess I was wrong, every time I try to do something she stops me, one day she kept telling me no don't do that I will do it faster, She acts like the shift lead even though she is not and basically treats everyone like shit. One day I finally confronted her I told her ""Why are you not letting me do my job?"" and she went into a long-winded speech about don't talk to me like that your slow and you don't take orders and you never listen, which is not the case at all and she told me well I was raised not to sugar coat shit and I know this an excuse cause I have raised in a no bullshit house myself but I know how to respect people, She also seems to hate men and treats all men like threats, No matter how nice I am to her and no matter how hard I try she just seems to hate me am I the asshole?",AITA: Coworker Seems to be pissed at everything and everything I do,NTA
10wgg04,"So we've been friends basically all our lives. We did EVERYTHING together. Like connected to the hips connected.  But the older we got..the less we talked and after 10 years of being by eachother's side. he broke our promise and left me. We recently got re-united after years of not speaking and I called him some names and just let out years of things I havent been able to process well and he was crying, I don't know what I should do or if i should apologize. So reddit community...AITA?​TLDR: I might have made my old bestfriend cry by lashing out too harshly and that might have affected our relationship moving forward",AITA for making my bestfriend cry because he abandoned me for school and girls?,YTA
10wd1py,"We work very close to each other, she knows I'm writing this. I'm 29(F) ""Dual income, no kids"" (DINK), but I was raised in a four kid house hold with immigrants parents who would do doubles and worked nightshifts. The coworker is 31(F) separated from her husband in April and has the custody of her three kids 1(F), 2(M), and 8(F).She got upset when I say she has 3 kids. For example there was a work Christmas party that she rsvp on going, but then decided not to go. An older coworker asked if she was going, we both replied no with sad faces. She asked us why and replied with ""She has 3 kids and I recently got covid and don't want to get anyone sick"" because we work at a bank with older people. My coworker got irradiated because I said she has 3 kids. She replied ""No, I couldn't get a sitter"". Or when she told she wants to get a Sam's club card and I replied ""Totally with three kids that will come in handy. My fondest memories is going to Sam's with my mom and brothers""She says I say it constantly, that I don't need to because everyone knows she has three kids. I ask for examples so I can post them to get her said of the story, but she cant think of any more. She also always uses them as excuses. The other bad snow day in group text they asked if we were coming into work the next day, the two works who had kids said not because of daycare being closed, understandable. I chimed in saying I will be showing up. both said of course you will, you don't have any kids.AITA for constantly bring up the my coworker has three kids?Side note she got upset with me this morning because she told me ""I got a story for you"" I replied with ""is it about your kids?"" she thought that was rude.EDIT- she's sitting next to me reading the comments. Doesn't have a account but loves this page and me sending her some of the post. Loving seeing me get roasted and she said she won't come to my defense.",AITA for constantly bring up that my coworker has three kids?,YTA
10wlb8d,"I, 15 F, have friends 14 F (We'll call her Vicky), 15 F (She'll be Bella), and 14 F (Let's call her Amy) all are very close friends. Bella s my best friend whom I tell everything.So Vicky and I just got in a fight about her hanging out with Bella without inviting Amy and I.Background knowledge- Vicky is very manipulative and she is Amy's BFFBack to the story, so I snapped at Vicky and called her a ""Manipulative mother fucking bitch"" because it wasn't the first time this has happened and she yelled back at me that she didn't host it at her house so it was unfair that I was yelling at her. But instead of asking Bella to invite Amy and I Vicky asked her to invite one of Vicky's friends (let's call her Carol). So Carol and and Bella got into a fight earlier because Carol stole Bella's boyfriend so Vicky thought they could make up at the sleepover. Well when Carol told Amy and I we blew up and I yelled at Vicky. But Vicky being the manipulative bitch she is turned it on me.I have Amy and my friend (not her real name for post purposes) Lily on my side but Bella is taking Vicky's side and now she is demanding I apologize to Vicky. I told her I wasn't going to apologize because Vicky has been making fun of me since the start of the school year because I don't wear makeup and because of this constant bullying I wasn't going to apologize to a bullying, backstabbing, manipulative bitch. Now Bella and Vicky won't talk to me and think I am the only bitch in the problem.Was lashing out at them the best thing to do after months of criticism and bullying to add with my depression and mental health issues? Because I usually have a very calm demeanor and don't snap.So, am I the asshole?",AITA: I Lashed Out At My Manipulative Friend,ESH
10wafdi,Throw away since my siblings know my reg account. I am on a mobile sorry for formatting.I (26f) have 6 younger siblings. I got married and moved out. My cousin and her baby twins moved Into my old room. When she moved in my parents told her she needed to drive my sister (15f) to school Wednesday-Friday. It made sense because my mom watches her kids while she is in school.I caught my ex having an affair. Spent what money I had during our divorce and had to move back in with my parents. I was given a smaller bedroom than my old room. I was also told that because so many people are living in our house. I would be responsible for driving my sister Monday/Tuesday. I work until 11pm at night. To drive my sister I have to wake up at 7:30am. I am not getting enough sleep. I am really tired the days I have to drive her. I feel like I am dragging all day those days. My parents didn't start asking us to drive our siblings until my cousin moved in with her kids.WIBTA if I tell my parents I won't drive my sister anymore. I am just too tired. Info: I do not pay rent. I am saving for a down payment on a house.  My mom is a stay at home mom.,WIBTA for refusing to drive my sister to school?,NAH
10w8hh3,"Back story: I am one of 5 daughters to my father. We all share the same mother/father. My father raised all 5 of us on his own (reasons mother left belong in a different category & not important to this topic). While he was not even close to a perfect parent (does that even exist?), he has always & still to this day remained a large part in all of our lives. We all have a fairly close relationship, spending all holidays & events together. Several days ago, my aunt (father's sister) passed away. She was also a big part of our family. She has always lived out of state but remained close to her brother & nieces. I must note that I have made multiple trips with my father to visit her over the years. Only 1 of my sisters joined us for my uncle's funeral. All of my sisters are financially comfortable & only one of us (youngest sister) has minor children. Here's where I want to know if I WBTA. I cannot attend the funeral due to health complications (pending surgery) & am physically unable to travel. ALL 4 OF THEM have a very thin excuse as to why they cannot go. It's not about the cost of travel, time off work, or lack of childcare. I fully understand that every person has a unique situation, but there is literally nothing stopping any of them from attending her funeral. I only want a support system available for my father. I sent a message to all of them that I was heartbroken for not being able to attend & that I hoped at least a few of them would be willing to be there for our father. This is when the excuses started piling up. I cannot believe that none of them are willing to sacrifice a few days to not only honor our aunt, but more importantly to be there for our father. So, WIBTA for calling them out on their excuses?Edit: To clarify, I am not trying to force them into attending. I want to tell them I am disappointed in their lack of concern for our 80 year old dad in his time of need. I am the only daughter that he straight up asked to go with him. So yes, he needs support. They have all stated that it's too far to travel.",WIBTA for telling my sisters they suck for not attending my Aunt's funeral?,YWBTA
10wchgw,For context yesterday at school one of my friends I’ll call H told me she started dating this guy called J who was B cousin ( b is the girl who is mad). She told me not to tell anyone so I didn’t cause it wasn’t my business. But the next day when I got to my last class she was crying and would only talk to M i though she was having cramps so I left her alone since she seemed to not want to talk to me. Then at the end of the class she started yelling at me because she found out and i didn’t tell her now she is mad at me even though I told her that it wasn’t my business so I didn’t want to start problems. I also thought that it didn’t involve her since it was just her cousin. So AITA?,AITA for not telling my friend that someone was dating her cousin,NTA
10w98wc,"EDIT: My mom is 44, not 22I (20f) dropped out last Spring to work full time because I was unhappy in school. I see working more as a means to an end. I work so that I can partake in my hobbies, pay off my useless student loans, take care of my bunny, live in the apartment I love. At work, I just want to put my headphones on and file papers, enter data, stuff envelopes. Ideally, I would have friends to go out with weekly and all that, but that is a work in progress. My mother (22f) and I were talking about what my plans are for next year and if I plan on going back to school. I told her that I think I am happy with where I am at now. She said, yeah, but does that really challenge you?I don’t want to be challenged in my work life. I want to be challenged in my personal life. I am currently working on an extremely complex crochet pattern, once I am finished with that crochet project and finish the book series I’m reading, I’d like to take a week where I just write a novel cover to cover and just allow it to be absolutely terrible so that I at least have something to work with. Then I would like to knit a sweater, revise the book, join some clubs in town, volunteer, meet some folks, eventually get another bunny, get a certification for work, you get the picture.I know these are short term goals, but right now I am not sure what I would like to do for the long term.So when my mom asked what the plan was for the long term and if I was planning to go back to school next year, I told her that I have shorter term goals I would like to accomplish before going back to school and when I explained some of them to her, she kind of scoffed and told me that they wouldn’t really matter in the long run. I told her that I wasn’t really interested in the long run right now. She told me that I needed to think on it more. I told her I wasn’t interested in doing that (really at this point, I was just upset and defensive.) She was extremely upset saying that she had failed me and that I make her feel guilty for the way she parented me. This was confusing and frustrating.I feel guilty for making her cry, but at the end of the day, I’m not sure if I did the bad thing here. Maybe I got defensive and snappy, but she just seemed to make a little thing into a huge thing.She told me that she was very disappointed in me (which she has never told me prior) and seems very upset with me still.",AITA for telling my mother I am content with my place in life right now?,NTA
10wk4sc,"I really don’t understand this situation at all, it’s super confusing and I already struggle understanding tone. I replied to a reply on a comment about a character (Spider; Avatar: Way Of The Water,) in an edit. The reply was about his hair, since it looks like locs. I said “it’s matted,” as that’s what it looks like to me, and I’ve seen a bunch of people say that too.     I didn’t mean any harm by it, I didn’t even say anything else. I forgot I even posted it until the person responded, I ignored that because I was preoccupied and just forgot about it. She hunted down my comment 2 days later and has been harassing me to explain my side for about 10 minutes, at this point I’m confused and don’t know what she means, she keeps asking me to defend my side, explain how I misinterpreted the information I had. I told her all I could think of, How I didn’t understand that the video was just an opinion, but she’s just started commenting multiple times on one reply and I don’t know how I can stop her. I only wanted to state what I thought.Important to this, I’m white, I have straight hair and honestly don’t care about hair in general. She’s black, only has one video posted but she obviously has curlier hair than I do. I’d understand if she was just trying to educate me, but she’s jus yelling at me at this point. This feels really stupid to post, but I’m confused and this is relentless.",AITA for commenting on a fictional character’s hair?,NTA
10wafjt,"I have 3 nephews: a 14yo boy and a 10yo girl who are my sister A' children; and a 9yo boy who's my sister B son.​My 14yo nephew and I are very close and we have an almost brotherly relationship, as our age gap is relatively small (10 years). My 10yo niece adores me, and since her father and paternal grandfather are not very present and ""capable"", I'm one of the male figures in her life, and I make suto to be present. They are also the children of my sister A, with whom I'm close and always visiting, which is why I spend a lot of time with her kids, babysitting them, taking them to the McDonalds and stuff like that.​My third nephew, who is 9, is my sister B son. She and I have absolutely no problems, but we aren't that close and I never visit her, only at family events. Well, because of that I don't have the same weekly contact with my 9yo nephew, I never babysit with him and so on. But that's the ""accidental"" part.​It turns out that I purposely avoid my 9yo nephew, even though he is very fond of me, always hanging around me in family events and etc. Almost every time we meet he asks when he can come over to my house, when I'm going to pick him up from school and etc, and even though I've done these things once in a while (much less than with my other nephews) in most cases I change the subject, saying that we are going to set a date.​I don't do this because I don't like him, or because I play favoritism with my other nephews, but because my 9yo nephew is a ""fussy child"" and difficult to deal with and put up with for a long time. He is extremely hyperactive and the type who insists that you participate with him in all activities, be it playing ball or running (which I don't have the gas to do); he is also somewhat spoiled, eats only the things he likes to eat and is a bottomless pit who will empty the kitchen if given the chance; and finally, he's very disrespectful, doesn't listen well and it's a struggle to tell him to do anything.​I love him as I love all my other nephews; he is an extremely affectionate child, very smart and fun, but he has all these issues that I'm not willing to sacrifice my weekends to put up with.​Sometimes I feel guilty, but I'm not going to distance myself from my other nephews who I have such a good relationship with so that the third one doesn't get jealous or something like that. Hopefully when he gets a little older things will improve, but until then I'll continue to keep my distance from him.​Am I the asshole?",AITA for not paying much attention to my youngest nephew?,NTA
10w7jdx,"My husband (31m) and I (31f) recently started playing an exercise game on switch. It's a single player game so we usually take turns in the evening. This incident happened last week. I had a tough week at work, and was still reeling from a fight with my husband few days ago. I played for a while, then decided to start a round of game after adjusting its calibration. The calibration was off and I got frustrated. So I decided to stop, and told my husband that I'm done for the day. He saw that I was frustrated and asked why I'm stopping. I explained that I'm frustrated with the calibration and want to be done with the day. We had a few back and forth, with him trying to troubleshoot my calibration. I told him I'm done for the day and I'll figure out the calibration tomorrow. Then he asked, ""why did you start a round if you're not going to finish?"". I explained that wasn't my intention but I'm frustrated and I'm done for the day. He wasn't happy with my response and asked a few more times. All this while, I had wanted to leave to take a break but he kept wanting to talk to figure out what was wrong and why I wanted to quit mid round. As I'm not familiar with the switch system, I attempted to close the software directly to quit. He stopped me and got upset that I was quitting it wrong. I decided to walk away because I just wanted to have some alone time to rest. He then said, ""why do I always have to clean up after you?""I disagree with that statement and in a moment of anger, I raised my voice and responded with ""I'm the one who's doing the vacuuming!"" (And most of the cleaning chores). There were a few more loud exchanges. By the end of the night, both our emotions were calm, but I felt that whatever issues we had had not been resolved. I did apologize and told him I increasingly increased my volume because I felt that he's not hearing me. He said he felt the same way. He thinks I should improve myself more, but I think he should let go of insisting I do things the ""correct"" way.I'm not proud of raising my voice. AITA?",AITA for yelling at my husband when he got upset at me for quitting a game mid-round?,NTA
10w9mgo,"F-30)My dad (60) brother (28) fiancé (26) and I (29) have a trip planned at the beginning of next month, which also happens to be my 30th birthday. This is a tradition for us to go to this particular location down south, as I’m from Canada where it’s freezing this time of year. We go specifically to watch baseball, get some sunshine and hang out at the local beaches. The trip is already paid for (accommodation, flights etc). The condo we’ve rented has two bedrooms, two beds. The assumption is that my dad and brother will share a room and my fiancé and I obviously will as well. My fiancé, brother and I have been extremely excited to hang out on this trip, as we’re all very close. Those are the basic details. Last last night I get a text from my aunt (56) stating that she will likely be attending our vacation as well. That my dad “offered to cover her costs” and all she had to worry about was some spending money. He didn’t notify my brother, myself or my fiancé that she would now be coming with us. Now, there’s a lot of context here so I’ll try and keep it brief:My aunt is my dads only sibling and they recently lost their mother (my grandmother) who my aunt lived with. She took the death very hard and is still struggling with it, almost a year later. I know my dad extended the invite out of the goodness of his heart but I can’t help but find it extremely inconsiderate and rude for the following reasons:- my brother and her can’t STAND each-other and she makes a point of expressing her feelings toward him loudly and obnoxiously any chance she has- she is an alcoholic and drinks to the point of blacking out and becoming aggressive and is horrible to be around in this state, at least once a week- she doesn’t like the heat or the sun- she hates baseball - she hates the beach- she can’t walk more than half a kilometre -or so at a time as she is overweight and has low iron. - there are only two beds and she will be bringing an air mattress and sleeping on the middle of our condo floor -she doesn’t drive and will depend on being driven around- my brother and her will end up fighting because they always doLook, I love my aunt for many reasons but I also don’t spend much time with her for many reasons. This trip was supposed to be a completely different dynamic- I know I’m going to end up babysitting and my brother is now saying he’s not going if she is. My dad currently won’t answer my phone calls as I texted him how I felt about him not consulting us first, he’s very angry and he says I’m being selfish.I honestly don’t know if I’m out of line or not.",AITA for telling my dad I’m not happy with his lack of consideration,NTA
10wig11,"Just when I thought I can take a breath and calm down from one trauma, another one comes along. My (F23) parents (M52, F43) after years of fighting and allowing toxic relatives take control of our homelife (mom is mostly to blame for that), they finally decided to get divorced. I'm not upset about this, this needed to be done. But this is about my golden retriever (F2).My sister (F19) and I were living at home but we all decided to go our separate ways and our parents will sell the house. I'll be living with my boyfriend. My dad will be staying with friends. My mom will be staying with one of my cousin's. My sister will be living with an uncle and aunt. This uncle and aunt is the main topic of this issue.My parents decided to transfer ownership of my dog to my uncle and aunt. I asked them if they can wait until my boyfriend and I can find a bigger place and then transfer ownership to me. My sister didn't like that because that would mean she'll never see her again. My parents decided that the best way for both of us can see her is to live with that uncle and aunt. I thought this was unfair because my sister can see her everyday.My uncle told me I can only visit Sundays. Unless their kids come to visit on that day then we have to figure out a plan but he told me that they will try to give at least a month's notice on when they'll visit so we can avoid each other. My whole family hates me, except for my dad who always have my back.Dad feels really guilty about this, but it's not his fault. Sister may hate him, but he's still a father and he has to think about all of his children's happiness. He's already suffered so much in that house, so I understand that he wants to get rid of it ASAP. Even so, I'm still hurt that I only get to see my dog only once a week. I was really depressed a couple years ago. My dad bought my golden just for me. Technically she's not a ESA, but she might as well be. She gave me so much happiness and comfort when I had very little. My boyfriend has been wonderfully supportive and I love him so much and I'll do anything for him. But I don't know how I can handle without my sweet girl.AITA?",AITA for wanting my dog to be with me and being upset that I'm given limits to when I can see her?,YTA
10whzbx,"My first language is not English so there may be mistakes.I (F18) called out my fake friend in front of the entire class and I feel kinda bad. So I’m “friends” with this girl in my class let’s call her Ramona, Ramona was always kind of a bitch to a lot of people but was also pretty popular in school. She acted like she was someone better than others always wanting that you do something for her or agree with her in a discussion. But she had a lot of  friends so I wanted to be civil with her because I’m not one of the popular people in school. I have a really good friend Fran (not her real name) she is one of the most popular people in school and we became friends when she switched to my school and sat next to me. She didn’t like Ramona and they got into a lot of fights because of Ramonas behaviour forward’s her. Ramona used me and I always kind of knew that she asked me to buy things for her or let her copy my homework even if I didn’t want to do that, I let her do it because I didn’t want to start a fight. But today I found out she was talking sh*t about me and Fran behind our bags to the guy Fran liked I middle of the classroom because she knew Fran wasn’t there. She said I cheated in my English presentation because I got an A- and she a D+. She said Fran was a H*e because she allegedly flirted with her ex boyfriend and talked to everyone she liked, when I heard that I snapped I walked over to them and asked her what her problem was and why she was talking sh*t about us. She was a bit shocked and said she wasn’t talking sh*t she was saying the truth but we both knew that she wasn’t. So I said loudly to her ,, Stop talking sh*t about people all the time we both know you just lied about all of that, you’re the one who’s always talking to the boys your friends are interested in you even flirted with the guy your best friend was interested in in front of her. You always go to people and want them to buy you food only because you’re to lazy to get it yourself and than you don’t say thanks or give them the money back they just spent for you after you said you would. Nobody really wants to have anything to do with you and your fake personality, and don’t you dare to start fake crying again like you always do when somebody is calling you out”. The entire room was silent after that and she walked crying out of the room with her friends following her and sending me death stares, I didn’t saw her for the rest of the day because she got picked up from school. I just sat back in my chair while her friends were glaring at me the whole day after she left. I heard some people saying that she deserved it being called out like that but some say that I was totally in the wrong for saying that to her. So AITA",AITA for calling out my fake friend in front of the entire class,NTA
10w8u8h,"My friends and I (M 28) work in different cities. We usually go out once a year to catch up. It's a crew of two gents and a lady. We were supposed to meet last week but I did't pitch. Reason being I can't stand one member of our crew (M 29). We used to text all the time like mad mad (Me and M 29). Over the past few months, he has been 'busy' (so have I), so the texting has subsided. General communication has generally. I guess it's adulting...It takes us longer to respond to texts. But I have noticed it takes him extraordinarily long to respond to texts when I need him (we both prefer texting to calls). We always helped each other. He was there for me during a messy break-up. I let him work in my company without qualifications. Let him confine in me when he fought with his mom. Let him buy shares at a discount. He has let me evade officials during the lockdown.Back to the delayed response issue. I let it slide for some time because I thought he was busy. But I realized it is a pattern. He would take about three days to respond while posting multiple statuses on WhatsApp. Recently I needed advice regarding work. He responded after three days and he only responded because he needed someone to talk to about an issue that has been bothering him. I ignored his texts. We were supposed to hang out last weekend...I thought I was gonna be there but on my way out I realized I can't overcome my feelings of hate toward this MF.AITA for not showing up, and letting my other female friend hang with him alone. Opinions!Edit: Some people think I planned not to go, like come on...don't we all get epiphanies...I realized when I was about to walk out my apartment that I can't stand this MF (M 29)! And some assume I have never tried to talk to him about it. He made it clear we are still good but his actions say something else. Anyway I'm tired of whining over this. Thanks all for your comments that made me see the bigger picture. Y'all are so honest. I'd take any date out with you over the MF imo...","AITA, I didn't show up to date out with friends because I hate one of my 'friends'",YTA
10wgnea,"So this is probably going to be a long rant so I’ll put a TL,DR at the bottom. Anyways this started 3ish weeks ago where 2 of my friends (17f&18f) which we will call Sarah and Lia, who are dating, started ignoring me(17f) and my close friend (17f) who we will call Eve, gradually at first but then it got to they point where they would never address us in conversation or text us unless it was in a gc (which they still wouldn’t directly talk to us) so I did what any person would do, I stopped talking to them because I thought they needed space from me and her after trying to get them to open up to me about what I might have done wrong. Fast forward to now where Sarah and Lia have been gossiping about me almost every moment they can talk and now all my other friends, except for Eve, are getting mad at me for ignoring them even though they did it first. I felt that I was an AH but Eve thinks otherwise. Reddit,AITA?TL,DR. 2 of my friends were ignoring me and then got mad when I ignored them back, other friends got angry at me, AITA?",AITA for ignoring friends because they ignored me?,NTA
10wg500,My gf (20f) and I (19f) were having a casual conversation where we were discussing different pets she had throughout her childhood. She then told me about a pet that passed away. She asked whether I knew what a axolotl was. I had no idea so she showed me pictures from google. I was shocked and said that it looked like a demon and something out of stranger things. She did not appreciate it. She then said that Ditto (her axolotl) was a sweet animal but she had to feed her live earthworms. I was even more disgusted and continued to say she looked like a demon. AITA?,AITA for making fun of my gf's dead pet?,YTA
10wfx36,"To keep this short, my friend Jaquelyn is always walking around with a stank attitude as if she's better than somebody. What makes it so unfair is she gets the most attention just cuz she has a pretty face and knows a lot of people. Most of the time she's bragging about how boys can't keep they eyes off her and how girls stay pressed. Even though I secretly have always hated her, having her as my friend makes me feel special cuz not many people are as close to her as I am, but she never fails to make me look like dirt compared to her.The other day when we were in the school bathroom and she turned to the side, checking herself out in the mirror, she asked me if her butt looked round in those jeans. Like usual I forced a smile and told her she looked hot asf, but she just rolled her eyes and told me to stop hating. Like wtf?? I told her I wasn't even tryna to hate and if she was that insecure then maybe she should go get butt injections. Her face froze like I had admitted to murder and she walked straight out the bathroom, ignoring me for the rest of the day. It's been two days now and she keeps shooting me dirty looks through the halls refusing to talk to me after I apologized multiple times and said it was just a joke. I'm scared she'll start spreading rumors and make me her enemy now. Was I out of line?",AITA I told my friend to get butt injections out of jealousy,ESH
10w8qs5,"Hopefully(?) this doesn't sound as bad as the title makes it out to be.I (25M) work at a public library. 95% of my work is either (1) sorting books in an area downstairs where patrons can only see in through a window (which people rarely ever do for extended periods of time) OR (2) shelving books in the library stacks.Almost all work is done in relative solitude. That is, I come into work, see there are X number of books to be sorted/shelved, check which books I have been assigned, and then get to work. Doesn't pay great, but it's a chill, steady job. Normally I wear an airpod while I work, listening to music/podcasts to break up the monotony. It doesn't affect my ability to sort/shelve books in any meaningful way.Task (1) has no interaction with the public. Task (2) has some, when a patron will come up to me and ask me a question. When this happens, I will take out the airpod, answer the question to the best of my ability (or direct them to where they can get the answer, like at an information desk), and go about my business. This happens maybe 3-4 times per 8 hour shift. 5-10 if we're really busy.Recently, my managers have instituted a no headphone policy for people of my (non-managerial) position. Managers have continued to wear headphones whenever they want.I didn't want to stop listening to music since it wasn't (a) affecting anyone around me, (b) they're being hypocritical anyway, and (c) I really don't get paid enough for this shit (This is not a valid reason, I know).To get around the policy, I had a friend 3d print a mould that fits over the airpod to make it look like a hearing aid. I then showed up to work and said I've been having some hard-of-hearing issues lately. Where I live, it is illegal to ask for a proof of disability unless they can reasonably show that it affecting my work AND I ask for a documented accommodation.I told this to a friend (who is not hard of hearing or associated with that community), and he said what I was doing was unethical because it was ""taking advantage"" of people who actually had a disability. I don't see how this is the case. I'm not trying to take someone else's rights away, nor am I using a resource that someone who has a disability would need (like buying a real hearing aid for example).AITA?\[Note, I'm not looking for whether this is unethical from the perspective of disobeying the policy, I don't really care about that. Again, don't get paid enough for that shit\]Edit (and the last time I'll look at this post): I'm the asshole, it turns out! Thanks to everyone who replied. I now get that this can make it harder for people who actually need accommodations. I'll (begrudgingly) stop wearing the fake hearing aid (believe me or don't, I don't care). However I do strongly disagree that it is *always* unethical to fake a disability (though I'm not having that debate here, I guess PM me if you want to discuss the ethics of war for example LOL)",AITA for pretending to be hard of hearing,YTA
10w2bv2,"Throwaway for privacy reasons. Also, obligatory ""on mobile"" comment.I (16) was diagnosed about a year ago with both depression and generalized anxiety disorder. My parents tended to react by me telling them about any problems with those struggles by essentially saying that I needed to get over it (for example, when I told my mom about how I had anxiety over checking my grades, she told me that it would be important for college and that I needed to be able to do it anyway). Repeated incidents of this meant I don't want to tell them about the issues I have because I know they'll act dismissively.Anyway, on Sunday I woke up and I could already tell it was going to be a shitty day. On top of that, I had a lot of obligations I had to attend and that just made everything worse. My parents noticed how withdrawn I was and asked me a few times if anything was wrong, but I brushed it off because I didn't feel comfortable telling them. By the end of the day, my mom told me that my mood that day was unacceptable (I had been frustrated with everyone asking stuff of me, so I was a bit short with them on some occasions) and asked again what was going on. I gave in and told her that I had a bad day and was pushed to my limit with all the stuff that I had to do. My mom, annoyed, told me that I needed to be able to trust her and communicate with her on things like that. I snapped, ""Well, I don't trust you!"" and stormed off. This is where I might be the asshole. My parents reacted by basically distancing themselves from me - my mom basically refused to talk to me, and my dad was acting cagey and kind of aloof. Yesterday evening, they sat me down and told me that my comment had been hurtful to them, and so i apologized just to get them off my back. They were also upset that I didn't bring it up and tried to ""brush it off"" (even though I had school and my parents had work, so there wasn't a lot of time in the 24 hours between the incident we could've had a conversation), and told me that I needed to trust them.My parents have told me a lot in the past that they didn't trust me and that I needed to earn their trust, and I feel like it should be the same for them, so at first I didn't feel like I did anything wrong. But I understand that what I said might have hurt their feelings, and I probably could've said it in a nicer way. So Reddit, AITA?",AITA for snapping at my parents and telling them I don't trust them?,NTA
10wc2kq,"My friend and I both had our fair share of terrible relationships, but for context, this ex of theirs has done it all. Used them, ignored them, pushed them down, broke them to pieces, made them feel like garbage ect. They even got back with their ex just to spite my friend. This person wasn't abusive but they were just downright terrible. I got upset with my friend BECAUSE of these reasons, I'm just trying to protect them from having their heart broken again.... I didn't trust their motives for apologizing to my friend and suddenly fixing themselves. But when I got mad, my friend had said:""Hey could we tone down the whole ""I hate them you're making a huge mistake yadiyadiyada"" when I have them on the phone? They're getting mad at me because we're good now and they don't want to hear it they've heard it enough""But if he didn't wanna hear it then he shouldn't have been an asshole to begin with. Not to mention I've mentioned it to them even when their ex WASN'T on the phone.So Am I The Asshole?",AITA for getting mad at my friend for getting back w/ her ex?,NTA
10vyuew,"I (16F) have a friend (17F) who I'm quite close to, especially since we're in 7 out of 8 classes together in high school. I learn 5 AP classes and she learns 6, so we understandably have a lot of tests and serious assignments nearly every day in school. Here's the thing. Most days, she has allergies in the morning, especially since our country's facing a PM 2.5 issue lately, just like me. I take allergy medicine in the morning, however, so runny noses aren't a problem for me. Unlike her.7 out of the 8 classes we learn, and she's next to me, sniffling nonstop. If it's not a sniffle, then it's a sneeze or a cough, and to be completely honest, it's driving me crazy. I've asked if she needs a tissue (there's a box in every classroom) but she says that her runny nose comes back right after blowing her nose. Okay, I can understand that. I then offer if she needs allergy medicine. She says it's alright. But it's not alright for me, it's affecting my concentration and mood to the max. This is slightly unrelated but since we sit next to each other in most classes, I don't even know if everyone thinks that I'm the sniffler - and I really really don't want that to happen as well. I mean, who wants to be known as the chronic sniffler who affects everyone's concentration in class everyday?There's a lot of little things about her that are starting to really tick me off, but to save time I won't write them here. I know that deep at heart, she's a genuine friend, but sometimes her behaviour just comes off as selfish and ignorant, in a naive manner. These past few days she's also been having an actual cold, so guess who's faced with stronger sniffles than ever. Our school tuition isn't dirt cheap so she definitely has the means to buy allergy medicine which costs less than 10 US dollars in my country. WIBTA if I just told her directly that it's really annoying and affecting my work when she sniffles, and offer to just pay for her allergy medicine?",WIBTA if I told my classmate to stop sniffling for god's sake?,YTA
10w8a6i,"I (16f) is turning 17 this month and I always wanted to ask money instead of celebrating my birthday every year since I was 12 but was always rejected. We're not well-off but we're not struggling either. We could buy what we need and sometimes, our wants if we saved our allowance for some time.Every year, my sister(18, we're a year and a half gap) asks for money instead of celebrating her birthday whenever it's coming since she was 13 and my mom would always give her around $40 (which is a lot in our country). When I knew about it, I also ask for money but my mom said if I'd want to ask for money she'd give me $2.50 but we'd have nothing to eat on my birthday. I thought, Well, if I chose to just celebrate it, it'd cost $20 and I'd just receive way less so, I always chose the foodWe live in a small neighborhood in a third-world country so, in our location, we receive Christmas package from the government (like spaghetti pasta, sauce & other ingredients) and my mom would always save some pasta,sauce & canned fruit cocktail for my birthday. She'd keep it in the closet until my birthday so, every year spaghetti & a gelatin with the fruit cocktail would always be celebratory food sometimes there would be some other foodLast year, I asked for money and my mom said that if I choose the money, it'd be unfair to them since they wouldn't have anything to eat. We fought & didn't talk to each other for days until my birthday. I invited 2 of my friends and we didn't even get to enjoy my day since my mom invited more than 10 people. They're mostly middle age women who talks very loudly and their kids ages 7 below. Since our house isn't that big and my sisters don't like having people on the 2nd floor, we couldn't hear each other properly so, we (me&my friends) just ended our talk earlier than expected. We expected to end our talk around 6pm but we had to end it at around 4;30 after they ate since it's not really working out.Today, My mom asked me what do I want to do with my birthday, I said ""I want to ask for money"" and she replied with ""Okay, I'll give you $6"". I just didn't replied. She said ""Well, We could just cook food and you invite your friends"". I said ""I don't have any friends"" I struggled with social anxiety so being around many people stresses me out and the friends I used to have kinda fall apart since we're all busy in school. ""Well you can invite Y(name of someone I always go to school with)"". I didn't replied. ""Did she invite you in her birthday?"". I didn't replied. ""Why aren't you talking?"" I just didn't replied and go upstairsI think I'm asking for too much but at the same time, I want to celebrate my Bday on my ownSo, AITA for asking for money instead of celebrating my birthday?(EDIT: I also suggested that we eat out on my birthday like we did in my sister's birthday but she just shrugged it off and replied ""Well, We have ingredients at home, why not eat at home?"")(EDIT: I don't even want to spend the money, I just wanna keep & save it)",AITA for asking for money instead of celebrating my birthday?,NTA
10w7996,"Backstory: I (23F) have a coworker (25f) who’ve I known for a couple of years due to us meeting in college. I started this job a few months and reconnected with her because she’s been at this job for a few years. Everything seemed to be going really good at the beginning but slowly started getting worse with a lot of passive aggressive things or behavior she has been displaying not only to me but to everyone at our job. Which brings me to today. Today it was just me, her (G) and one other coworkers (I). We work in a pastry shop so we have very high volume, stressful days. Every morning we get a storeroom order with ingredients and we have to put it away the items and take the cart back to spot which is like around a corner. Today mainly me and my other coworker (I) put away items due to G having a wrist brace due to an injury four weeks ago. Normally we do all the heavy lifting so she doesn’t have too. Well after we were done we didn’t want to take the cart back since we did all the work so we decided to do nose-goes. Just as a way of making it fair. Well right before we started she said she can’t take it because she can’t push it. So I made a comment being like well you can pull it can’t you. She got quiet and I ended up taking the cart back. Now I might be the asshole for that comment but what she did after made me mad. So I assume she got mad because when I went to the freezer a little bit later she slammed the door behind me ( which she had also done before when she is upset at me or at the person who walked inside) and she slammed it hard again after I left the freezer and now she is not talking to me and giving me dirty looks. Now normally I would let this go and keep going with my day but I know she was talking about me to my manager because she was whispering and looking at me when she was talking to her and I honestly don’t want any problems with my managers at all or even her to be honest but I am really close to just going to them and telling them everything that happened today. So WIBTA if I went to my manager about a coworker?",WIBTA if I went to my manager about a coworker?,NTA
10vxtlv,"Hi I’m a 15f with a history of severe mental health problems and trauma I am also autistic I have a mother 35f who has been on my side through social care and fought for me however she has recently been severely guilt tripping me for my problems and says that they are ruining her life and making her depressed I recently went on her phone to find a link which she told me I could when I opened her phone it was messages between here and I best friend saying that i was a horrible kid and that I was pulling and drowning her this broke my heart because my mum was my world. These comments have been going on for a while now she never apologised even when I ask and always blames me for every little thing but in the other hand she is amazing and has done lots of things for me. Back to today, I had gotten up for school early because my mum was going to drop me off but we had to walk my dog first. I woke up at around 6.30 7 ish and got ready for school did all my chores etc at this point mum was still in bed I asked her to wake up because we had to get ready and go she only woke up 20 mins later at this point we were late. We walked out the door and I closed it she shouted and I realised that she didn’t have the keys she said that it was my fault and I make everything in life worse my heart broke as I am an A star student and try so hard despite being severely depressed. I then told her that she should of picked up the keys as that is her job but then she told me that I was distracting her and refused to take the blame. Later on the comment she made about me making everything worse began to really affect me. I am a very petty person so I began to think that if I  make everything worse that I should really commit to it the following week I did not get out of bed or speak to her at all even when she screamed at me for again ruining everything I shut my mouth after two weeks of this treatment I finally spoke and said see how much worse I can really make everything. She was confused and I reminded her of what she said she denied ever saying that and I continued the treatment she has cried non stop since and said that I am horrible and lie I am in my room crying because I don’t know what to do anymore. Do I really make everything worse and am I the asshole for proving a point and calling my mum out?Please let me know Feel free to use this story on tiktok etc",AITA for making my mums life so much worse?,YTA
10xg6kr,"My (31M) son is five years old. About a year ago, my brother (34M) reassured my son that he could be the ring bearer at his wedding. This conversation occurred after he heard us talking about mine and his dad's wedding and was very offended he wasn't invited despite the fact that wouldn't be conceived for another three years after the event. My son really latched onto this comment.Now, all these months later, my brother has proposed and is planning a wedding with his fiancée. When I told my son that his uncle was getting married, he was obviously overjoyed and immediately launched into bragging to his younger brother (who wasn't born when the initial conversation took place and was just giving him typical baby babbles in return) that he got the be the 'ring bear.'I heard the proposal news from my mom and when I called to congratulate my brother, I also told him the story of how excited our oldest is. My brother went on to tell me that his fiancée is pretty adamant about a child free wedding, so the promise he made might not be doable anymore.This was obviously hard for me to hear. Not only would this break my son's heart, this would also make mine and my husband's lives considerably harder. We're currently living abroad and didn't think we would have to find childcare for the time of the wedding. Our only options now would be:1. Fly with our children and leave them in the care of people we don't fully trust since all trusted family members will be attending the ceremony2. Leave both children with a trusted friend near our home and fly to the wedding (not ideal since, thanks to flexible work schedules, we were planning to spend a month with our families following the wedding... flying in for the celebration, flying home to pick up our children, and then flying back is too exhausting. Them flying alone obviously isn't an option.)3. Not attend.My brother said he would try to get his fiancée to reconsider, but we spoke two nights ago and he said she's putting her foot down. Admittedly, I was hurt over this on my son's behalf. I told him we would still try to make it, but it was unlikely that we could. I also told him that if he even wanted us to consider coming, he would have to tell his nephew himself that he was going back on his promise and why.My brother said it felt like I was issuing him an ultimatum and making him choose between family and his wife on what's supposed to be the happiest day of his life and that I was being unfair. I said he shouldn't have made promises he couldn't keep.AITA?eta: Saw some confusion in the comments - I’m a man.",AITA for insisting my brother explain to his nephew why he can't attend his child-free wedding?,NTA
10xb499,"I (25F) have been married to my husband (27M) for 2 years. When we first got married, we moved to a different city for his job (in tech - he's a software engineer). In our new city, I quickly found an entry-level job in the field I thought I wanted to work in (publishing). However, I hated it - hated the office politics, long hours with relatively low pay, and found the work monotonous. I stuck it out for a year and a half to avoid being a job-hopper and to see if I could make it work, but then started applying to a variety of other jobs after nothing improved. I had a few interviews but wasn't getting too far in the processes until recently, when I interviewed for an executive assistant job. The job seemed to be a great fit at every step - I really clicked with the executive I would be supporting, and liked everything about the company (which is stable and growing with no sign of layoffs like a lot of companies are going through right now). The pay is great too - 50% more than my current job (would be going to 75K from 50K) with better benefits (more vacation, more robust insurance with lower cost). The new job would also be strictly 40 hours a week (with occasional paid overtime) as opposed to my current publishing job which often requires 10+ hour days and doesn't pay overtime.When I discussed with my husband, he told me flat-out that although it's my career, he disagrees strongly with this move. He says that I'm going to get permanently stuck in the ""secretarial pool"" and that it's not really a professional job that's appropriate for our life plan, and that he's going to be embarrassed by me and will think less of me. (The job is to serve as the assistant to the CEO/owner of a marketing/advertising agency, which is also a field I am very interested in learning more about - I mean I suppose you could debate the ethics of marketing/advertising, but it's not like it's doing something illegal or for a company/exec with a horrible reputation. There is also definitely a path forward as the CEO said that those who do well in the assistant role for a year or two will have opportunities for promotion to account coordination/management roles.)I told him I was sorry to disappoint him, but I'm really miserable in my current job and need to make a change and this is the best offer I have. Plus, I'm going to make more money for fewer hours so I'm not taking anything away from him or our household. So I accepted it and now he says I am an AH and is barely speaking to me.Anyway, Reddit, AITA for taking a job that my husband finds inappropriate and embarrassing?",AITA for taking a particular job even though my husband disapproves?,NTA
10x3ggn,This is an ongoing issue going on in my home. I 33F am currently pregnant with my first child. I live in a two bedroom home with my husband and step-daughter (23F). Step-daughter and I get along fine no big issues but we also are not super close.Now that the baby is coming we need more space unfortunately we can't afford a new home. I brought up to my husband asking Step-daughter to move out. My reasoning is that we really need her room for the new baby and she is an adult with a full time job so it is time for her to be on her own anyway.My husband agreed and we brought it up to her at dinner one night. We told her we would help with her first 2 months rent. I told her it would be fun her and I could go shopping and I will help her decorate her new apartment. We tried to be as gentle as we could but she was very quiet. Privately she told my husband that even though she as a full time job she cannot afford to live on her own. My husband told her she did not need to move out so now we are scrambling trying to find space for new baby.The other day I was home alone with Step- daughter and tried to talk to her about it again. I offered  to help her find a roommate and she snapped on me. She snapped on me and told me to just leave her alone and locked herself in her room.When my husband got home from work he was mad at me and told me to leave her alone and not bring it up anymore. Things have been awkward and uncomfortable since making my pregnancy very stressful. She is 23 old enough to be on her own she has a job and we are willing to help her. We need space for our baby I do not see how I am in the wrong here.,AITA for asking Step- daughter to move out.,YTA
10x4t3v,"My sister's taken to adopting a very Brain Dead Stoner Surfer Dude way of speakingInstead of saying hello she says ""Sup?""Goodbye is ""Latz"" or ""Later Much""Things she doesn't like are ""harsh"" or ""a beat scene"" Suspicious things are ""bogus"" or ""sketch""Unique things are ""spesh""Good things are ""sweet"" or ""radical"" or ""the tits"" (I especially don't like that last one)""Chaka brah, gnarly, tasty, rando, ferosh, bitchin', tweaked...""Some of this stuff I don't even know what it means.I've asked her politely a few times to stop. Told her it really, really annoys me.  She laughed and seemed to do it *more.* I finally said ""If you can't talk to me using plain English, please just don't talk to me at all until you can."" To which she replied ""Harsh, dude."" Now we literally are not speaking.AITA for laying down a ""language boundary?""","AITA for asking my sister to please not address me in ""dudespeak?""",YTA
10xjwyy,"OK.  So.Back in November I was walking my dog around my neighborhood.  I saw a woman putting up a sign on a street corner stop sign.  She had a black and white dog with her.  My dog ran up to say 'hello' and the woman and I got to talking.  The black and white dog had been found a few days earlier, and she had been spending the day putting up 'found dog' signs.  During our talk, she mentioned that she couldn't really keep the dog on account of having a large German shepherd at home and the rambunctiousness was a bit much.  The black and white dog and my little guy were getting along famously, so I told her that I'd be happy to foster the dog until the owners were found.  During this whole conversation we continued walking around the neighborhood, putting up the rest of her 'found dog' signs.  She had also posted the animal on PawBoost and somewhere else, I forget.  The dog had no collar, no chip, and, because she wasn't spayed, was in heat - she was actually wearing a diaper.  I'd never seen a doggy diaper before.  The woman told me that she had to brush out some matted hair, but otherwise the dog seemed healthy, if a little underfed.  We exchanged numbers.One week later, the owners still had not come forward.  I took in the dog.  After another week, no sign from the owners, so I 'officially' named the dog (I stopped calling her Mutt-face), took her to the vet, had her spayed, updated all her shots and otherwise started her account at my vet.  I love her like crazy.And then last week, three months later, I'm walking both of my dogs around the neighborhood and a man in an SUV pulls over and waves me over.  ""That's my dog,"" he says.""No,"" I say, ""that's my dog.""Long confrontation short: he's showing me photos on his phone; I'm telling him I don't care; he's following me in his SUV as I continue walking; I tell him to fuck off; we're in the neighborhood so eventually his wife and 2 small children show up; I keep walking; he shows me where they live and keeps following me; he tells me how he put up signs and called animal control and put a post up online somewhere; I don't care.  All the while he's taking pics of me and my dog and grabbing at her collar.  I call my wife and have her come pick me up and we hightail it outta there.  I'm 98% certain that my dog used to be his dog.I don't plan on giving her back.  He can get a lawyer and come after me if he wants.  I'll fight.AITA for keeping the animal?",AITA for not returning a family's dog?,YTA
10xclxz,"[Link to the original post from about a year ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/tjk47t/aita_for_refusing_to_give_my_therapists_name_and/?amp%3Butm_medium=ios_app&amp%3Butm_name=iossmf)So I’ve been seeing some follow ups being posted and I figured I’d share this one in case anyone was curious.So obviously things were very bad with my parents following this episode. I went no contact with them for approximately four or five months. It didn’t start off as no contact, but things progressed to the point where I told them they were no longer to reach out to me and if they showed up at my condo (to which they had a key), I would call the police and have the locks changed.My mom took this particularly hard. She really didn’t understand what she had done that was wrong which was beyond frustrating. She’d send messages and emails trying to justify herself.I felt extremely upset about going no contact but ultimately found it to be a liberating experience. I ended up reconnecting with my sister whom I thought was not speaking to me but it turned out my phone was not sending me push notifications when she would message me on WhatsApp (she lives in a different country).So anyway, in June or July of last year I reached out to my parents and explained that we could have a phone call but that it was not going to be a two way conversation. I was going to do all the talking initially and if they wanted to, I’d give them the opportunity to respond at the end. I was very clear though that this was an opportunity for me to explain why what had happened had affected me so deeply and why I was so angry with them.The call actually went much better than anticipated. They were silent and listened and the few times they started to speak up, I reminded them that this was not currently a two-way street.My mother played the whole situation off as a misunderstanding although I don’t buy it. My father didn’t realize I wasn’t speaking to him either (he thought it was just my mother who I was angry with, but he can be a little emotionally shallow so I’m not that surprised). Following the phone call, I agreed to see them again on limited terms. It’s taken some work, but we’re back in a good place.I still think about last year and I think about how this community helped me from going over the deep end. So I wanted to say thank you!Edit: and if anyone is curious how the birthday ended up going, I blew about 250 bucks on myself on Grubhub and one of my college friends organized an impromptu Zoom session with our group of friends across the country to sing happy birthday to me after I called to discuss the situation (we had been together when I was visiting them that weekend when the conversation with my mother first started).",Update: AITA for Refusing to Give my Therapist’s Name and Number?,INFO
10wyz00,"When my wife and I decided to start a family she expressed she wanted to be a stay-at-home mom so we made a plan and set everything up so that she could stay home during the early years. We had our first kid but she didn't do too well being the stay-home and had a hard time with it. We still wanted our kids to have a parent at home with them so we swapped out since her salary was close to mine. Two kids later I'm still the stay-at-home dad working reduced hours remotely. For me personally, it's easier than any job I've had in the past, even the manual labor one but I recognize that that's just my personal experience. We've touched base on the issue a few times to make sure there's no resentment, guilt, or discomfort on either of our parts.One of her friends from her work invited us and other couples over for dinner. While there, the other couples were talking about childcare in general and some of the women started sharing their experiences of when they were home. My wife was talking about how she had disliked it and mentioned our arrangement when one of the women said to me: ""Oh I know you're just itching to get back to having it easy.""I responded that I already have it easy and that for me, being a stay-at-home dad was a cakewalk compared to my office job. I didn't see the point in agreeing with something that just isn't true for me. On the way home my wife asked why couldn't I have just agreed with the question and played along. I asked her if she felt bad or guilty that she had a hard time with it and she said no, so I told her to just forget about it then because there's no reason for me to lie to make a bunch of other people feel better so long as it's fine between us. When she got home from work yesterday she had some attitude asking me if I had 'another easy peasy day' and told me how all day she had to hear from her friends what a smug asshole I was for making light of their experiences by saying it was a cakewalk. I get that for a lot of people it's hard but I don't see why I should have to lie about it or fluff someone's ego for not feeling the same way.AITA?Additional info: The scheduling, making appointments, taking kids where they need to be, grocery list, school stuff, making sure payments for bills came out, vehicle maintenance, organizing our date nights, finding babysitters, figuring out what needs to be done- falls on me. She keeps track of dates important to her family, I keep track of dates important to us and my side of the family. I am very detail-oriented, I've done all of that throughout our relationship. We do grocery shopping together on the weekend.",AITA for not lying for my wife in front of her friends regarding me being a stay-at-home parent?,NTA
10x6z4c,"My stepsister F21 crashed my F18 new car after I told her she couldn’t use it again. My stepsister name her Paula had two cars both she got from her dad and my mum and she destroyed both of them within months after she got them. My mum and her dad got married when I was 11 after my dad died three years prior. I had a hard time accepting her dad and her but in the end I got used to it and we have a solid relationship,at lest her dad and me. Paula got her first car when she was 17 just after she got her license it was an older Audi she got from her dad it wasn’t the nicest car but a good start. She didn’t liked the car but it was better than nothing so she used it, but after 4 months she crashed it into my mum’s car as she was coming back from a party. The second car she had she got last year for Christmas my mum and her dad bought it for her but guess what she drove it into the river on New year because she forgot to put the handbrake on. My mum and her dad were furious but she didn’t care she said she would just buy a new car and they should chill out. She moved out afterwards to her own apartment.So I just bought myself my dream car a Mini Cooper 2014 I did years of saving for it. My stepsister visited two weeks ago over the weekend while I was at my grandparents house, so she thought she could use my car while I was gone and drove shopping with it. As I got home I saw a huge scratch at the back. I asked my mum how it got there she was clueless she didn’t know Paula took the car while they were sleeping, Paula looking all innocent said she took the car on a little Shoppingtour because I wasn’t using it. I was so angry at her and said if she ever uses my car again without my ok I would kick her arse to the moon and back. She said she was sorry and that some idiot was it not her.When I was coming home today I saw my car crashed into the wall in front our house and Paula my mom and her dad standing besides it. I was furious I asked what happened and my my car was in the wall. Paula said she accidentally crashed it because she wanted to drive to the nail salon and she confused the front and reverse gears. I exploded I screamed at her that I want her to pay for the car and that she was a horrible person because she didn’t even looked guilty for destroying my car and she should never drive a car agin in her life because all she does is cause accidents, I stormed away and looked myself into my room. Her dad said I should forgive her and that it was an accident but we were sisters. I was shocked and so disappointed in my mum because she said nothing against it. I said that she wasn’t my sister and I would never forgive her and that I would move to my grandparents and that she should better pay for my car or I would sue her. He said that I was a brat talking to them like that and that not forgiving her would make me a bad human being. So am I the asshole for not forgiving her?",AITA fir not forgiving my stepsister for crashing my car,NTA
10x3y2e," A lot of emotions are overwhelming me right now so I'll try to keep it simple and to the point.My(m27) cousin(f29), lets call her “Sue” is an ‘artist’. By that I mean she has a Bachelor in Fine Arts. Ever since high school her dream has been to become a world renowned artist akin to Picasso, Dali and whatnot. Honestly, she doesn’t have what it takes to be on that level. Thing is she refuses to work in an industry where her skills would be needed, the most work she’s ever done is as a cashier in retail. Forever hoping she’s gonna “hit it big” with one of her artworks.Now I always felt bad for Sue. Her mother made a lot of poor financial decisions and her piece of shit father walked out. My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles helped them out financially from time to time. But their attitude towards my aunt was always “she did it with her own hands”. Our family members were extremely pissed  that Sue chose to pursue fine arts. They all grew up during communism and see this sort of degree as a waste of time. They essentially stopped giving them any form of financial aid.I never stopped. About 5 years ago my friends and I got really interested in DnD. Essentially I talked to Sue and told her I'd give her a monthly sum of money and in exchange she’d draw stuff for my DnD campaigns. She was reluctant at first saying “her art is not for this sort of simple things” but I think her mother convinced her to take the deal.Initially things were working out. I’d pay her every month and she’d send the drawings on time. But as time went she began being more and more off deadline. I'd always pay her on time, but she'd be weeks then months late. Last commission was for 10 artworks for a new campaign. She's essentially ghosted me for 4 months about it meanwhile I've still been paying her.   I had to delay the start 4 time and it really pissed me off, because at this point, it's about me letting down my friends. So I cancelled the January payment. She couldn’t even be bothered to contact me immediately. Only 8 days later she angrily calls me asking why she has no money in her bank account.At the time I was tired and her attitude pissed me off so i gave it to her straight. I told her how she should be thankful for what I'm doing for her, instead she bites the hand that feeds her. How instead of dreaming she’ll make it big, she use her skills to look for a real job.  I told her to stop being a leech of her family. And of course that she won’t see a dime from me until she finishes those damned drawings, and after our deal is off.Then my aunt called me and cryingly begged me to send Sue the payment otherwise she'll have to starve for the month.I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this. I know for a fact my family members would just encourage me to stop helping them. And my wife’s attitude towards this problem is along the lines of ‘we can afford it so just help her’.",AITA for letting my cousin ‘starve’?,NTA
10wtfx2,"I'm in Canada. It is perfectly legal.  My stepson, Sean, is 18 and he is in university.  He lives with his dad and I so he can go to school in our city.  His mom lives on an acreage about 40 km north if town so that would be quite the commute.  I didn't really want him in my house but my husband insisted and promised me that Sean would behave.  He would clean up after himself and he would not cause me any problems.  He isn't a bad kid.  He does his chores and keeps to himself mostly.  He had some trouble with staying up late and being disruptive when he got here last summer but we got that sorted out.  My husband and I have a three year old daughter.  Sean is friendly with her and has babysat her a few times.  The problem is he smokes so much weed.  I'm honestly surprised he isn't failing out of school. I personally don't care.  Except we agreed he would smoke outside or in the garage. And he's been smoking up in his room.  Three problems. 1. My daughter doesn't need to get a contact high. 2.  It stinks3. He has the window open so we are paying to heat up the house constantly.  Fuck that noise.   I spoke with my husband and told him that Sean wasn't following the rules we had agreed to.  He had one more chance then he had to find somewhere else to live.  Sean said he was sorry and he promised he would behave.  He even showed me that he bought edibles so he wouldn't get his sister high, stink up the house, or need to open his window.  It was fine for two weeks and then he did it again.   So I kicked him out.  I packed up his shit and took it all to his mom's place. And I had the lock codes changed. When he got home from school he lost his shit.  He said that I was being a controlling bitch and that I didn't have any right to tell him what to do in his father's house.  I laughed in his face.  I told him that the only house his father ever bought is the one his mother lives in.  His dad is my husband but they are both living in my house.  I guess he didn't know that and he started apologizing.  I called him an Uber to take him to his mother.   He didn't go and he called my husband instead.  My husband made arrangements with his brother for Sean to move there.  His mom drove all his belongings back into town and now he isn't my problem.  Unfortunately for Sean his uncle is completely against cannabis. So he can't have any there.  And he is currently sleeping on a hide-a-bed.  His dad, uncle, and himself are going to build him a room in the unfinished basement this weekend.  My husband is on my side since Sean broke our agreement.  His mother is salty about having to come into town.  And Sean is begging me to let him come back.",AITA for kicking my stepson out of the house for smoking weed?,YTA
10wv4dx,"I've never been particularly close with my daughter. After me and her mom divorced when she was 13 I saw her maybe once every 2-3 months and on birthdays/holidays. I do blame myself for that, after the divorce I went into a sort of mid life crisis (although I was only in my early 30s). Over the last few years I've dated quite a few women but I wouldn't class any of those relationships as ""serious"". Six months ago I started dating my current girlfriend. About six weeks ago I invited most of my family out to dinner (my daughter, my siblings and their partners, my parents), I felt like our relationship was at a point that I wanted to introduce her as my girlfriend to the family. And everyone seemed to like her, we had a fun dinner. But then after a few glasses of wine me and my daughter got into this small argument, I honestly don't even remember what it was about and during that argument she called my girlfriend a gold digger and left shortly after. She generally just ruined the whole dinner. I'm not delusional, I know one of the reasons that my girlfriend is with me is money and I assume everyone else in the family knows that too, same way one of the reasons I'm with my girlfriend are her looks. Last weekend I threw a small indoor BBQ dinner at my house and I again invited most of my family and a few friends and some of my girlfriends friends. But I didn't invite my daughter. She very obviously doesn't like my girlfriend and I didn't want a repeat of the last situation. However when my daughter found out she wasn't invited afterwards she sent me some angry messages calling me a ""selfish narcissistic prick"". And for whatever reason one of my sisters has taken her side and said I should have invited her. So was AITA for not inviting her?",AITA for not inviting my daughter to dinner after she called my girlfriend a gold digger?,YTA
10xa0pl,"My son's 4th grade class had a field trip to the science museum yesterday I was asked to chaperone by his teacher. Sure! My nephew Alex is in the other 4th grade class and he has ASD. He does require a ""shadow"" and unfortunately he couldn't come because he was ill. I'm sure it was no coincidence that Alex was put in the group that I was chaperoning. I didn't mind.Most of the time the classes stayed together. We went to see an interactive exhibit/flim on Pompeii that was more like a Disneyland ride. Alex freaked out at the noise and smoke machine and was trying to hide behind the curtains. I got him and had him sit on my lap until it was done. From that point on, he was quite clingy and I let him wrap his arms around me from the back.When we got back,  another teacher, neither my son's nor Alex's teacher, approached me and said I shouldn't be affectionate with the students. This teacher was in the field trip too. I said I was his uncle and I wasn't being affectionate,  I was calming him down.She said that it was still affectionate and not to do it. I told her to go take a hike and if she has an issue with it then go complain to my brother and his wife or whoever. And just to spite her, I gave Alex a big ole Uncle Hug in front of her before I left.This morning, I put him in a little headlock in front of her and she pretended not to see it. I could tell my brother and SIL and they'd go nuclear on her but I'm not an asshole.",AITA for telling a teacher to go take a hike?,NTA
10xegam,"My husband’s name is Nicholas and he doesn’t like it when most people shorten his name and barely even agreed to let me call him Nico. My brother-in-law will sometimes call him Nick to act like they’re closer than they are and this has evolved into my niece calling him “Uncle Nicky”.He absolutely hates it and the only reason he’s stopped saying anything is because he said I made him feel like the devil after he made her cry when he tried to get her to call him Nicholas instead.He’s angry at me because he thinks I’m encouraging her to call him “Uncle Nicky”. I’ll admit I find it adorable but I don’t think I’m encouraging her. He thinks I am because she said the bracelet he got me was pretty and asked me where I got it from and I told her “Uncle Nicky” got it for me. I referred to him as “Uncle Nicky” a few more times in that conversation but when I noticed that he looked unhappy I did try to change the subject.His big argument is that since I know he doesn’t like it, I should be encouraging her to call him Nicholas instead. I told him she’s only 4 and she will probably grow out of calling him “Uncle Nicky” and he was making a big deal out of nothing.AITA?",AITA for supposedly encouraging my niece to call my husband “Uncle Nicky” when I know he hates it?,YTA
10xbgys,"For context I 20f work in a warehouse making $20 per hour. I live in a high cost of living and have a car payment. I live with my parents still because rent in my area is almost 2k for a 1-bedroom apartment. I can't afford to move out and can't even afford to have a roommate. I pay rent $500 a month and my parents don't care if I only have $200 a week for food gas and anything else I need they still want rent. Recently I started picking up lots of overtime to try and get myself out of the debt I got myself in so i was not home a lot. I paid my younger sibling weekly to take care of my dog that I own. The requirements were feeding him and letting him to go potty. Apparently this had not been done and my dad was forced to take over this job. One night when I out at dinner my father kicked my dog outside in the cold while he was still wet from a bath. We have no shelter or even beds outside. It is just a giant concrete pad. I was told he is not allowed to come inside at all anymore no matter what. This was a one of the major breaking points for me among many other things my dad has pulled. I have supported myself since I was 17 for the most part. I took care of myself, loaned him money, and I have never borrowed money from him. He recently threatened to kick me out of me leaving 2 items on the dining table for less than 20 min. He complained that I was not considerate of everyone in the house. I am not here, I work, I only leave my room to cook food and I always clean all of my dishes afterwards. I have turned into a glorified roommate. I can't keep doing this same tango with him anymore, so I plan to go and live with a family member on the other side of the country. I'm already trying to find a job. I am looking into remote work but don't have much experience in anything other than customer service and I am trying to make similar to what I do know so I can pay my bills and get my own place where I Live, but I am having trouble finding entry level jobs. I'm leaving in less than 2 months. I am leaving in the middle of the night without waking anyone hopefully. I fear that if they were to find out that I was leaving they would take any penny that I have to leave and keep it for themselves. I don't plan on having much contact with them if any after I leave. So AITA for disappearing and not talking to them again?",WIBTA for moving across the country in the middle of the night and not telling anyone,NTA
10xb4k2,"It was technically one cookie.   Here's what happened. My husband's mother baked cookies and gave us five more to take home.  My son ate 2 of the 5, leaving 3 cookies left. My husband ate a lot at my MIL's house before we left the same day.Now I've been trying to lose baby weight from our most recent baby and as such we have a rule.  No sweets in the in the house.  I have a binging problem and thus if we do want sweets we usually either make it from scratch or go out to get them when we want them and store them in designated areas in the house.  He's free to store his snacks in his office/gaming area which isn't even on the same floor.   We have multiple spots for them that aren't hard to reach, it's just not sitting out in my face all day.  I also told him earlier that I was trying not to eat many cookies that day because my progress was slowing down due to us eating out a lot.  I went out to shop for groceries bc I wanted to meal plan, and my husband left the dishes for me to do when I got back.  It was over an hour of grocery shopping and I was tired and hungry when I got back.   I started doing the dishes first and opened the cabinet that only stores our cups.  And there's two damn cookies right there in front of me.   I was mad because I had went the entire day eating only one cookie, but the reasoning for not having sweets out in the open was clear in that moment because I ate one quickly and was about to start on the other.   But I decided to just throw it away because it was the only place of finality that meant I could not get it later and devour it.   My husband came up and I explained that he put the cookie in a terrible spot and I saw it and almost ate them both.  He said good thing I didn't   because he wanted the last one.  And that's when I said I threw it out.   He thinks I'm a jerk for tossing it, I think he was a jerk for putting it in the dumbest location possible, knowing I was going to do the dishes and see it.  He literally just had to walk less than 5 steps over to the snack shelf and put it there. Tl;Dr.  I'm on a weight loss journey, we don't leave snacks out in the open bc of it (but designated areas).   My husband left cookies his mom baked in a cabinet meant for only cups although knowing I was going to do the dishes and so I tossed one of them after eating one, to prevent myself from eating the other.   So am I the asshole for throwing it away?Edit;. Alright.  Time to move on from reading comments.  To those who voted me as the asshole. I get it. It's food waste.  To the ones calling me an asshole for making my family suffer - fully read my post, our house has lots of sweets and snacks.  In fact I realized we still have chocolate chip cookies frozen in our freezer.  No one is suffering in an inability to indulge themselves when they want to.  To those who said NTA, thanks.  I think everyone deals with food in their own ways. Mine was cemented in my head to be unhealthy at a young age so here I am.  Unable to control myself at times. Thanks!",AITA for throwing away cookies given to us by my MIL,NTA
10wtqjc,I’m (20F) at Uni in the UK. I have a classmate / friend Izzy who is on the same course as me. She was raised up North in a village where everyone is white (although she admits that she went to school and college in the nearby cities so it’s not like she’s never encountered someone from an ethnic minority before.)I’m from a South Asian background and I’m a practicing Muslim so I wear hijab. We were talking about the politics of the Partition and Izzy asked why I seemed so passionate about the topic so I said “well because that’s where my family is from!”And then she said “Oh I didn’t realise you were a *Paki* I thought you were Arabic!”There are so many things wrong with that sentence. But well. I have had that same P word weaponised against me and members of my family suffered violence specifically because of our heritage by people using that word.I couldn’t believe she would use it and I told her “Don’t ever use that slur again!”She started saying”How is that offensive? That’s not a slur don’t overreact!”I left the study group and I haven’t directly spoken to her since. She text me to say I’m being ridiculous and how is it even a slur so I told her that if she’s studying Politics she should know how or at least figure out how to look it up.When I mentioned it to my parents they said that i should have sat and explained the history to her and that I have a responsibility to make sure she doesn’t use it to anyone elseDoes not wanting to do that make me the AH?(**EDIT:** it is recognised in the UK by the relevant govt authorities as being a slur equally as offensive as the n word and has been for years),AITA for not wanting to explain to a friend why the word she used is a slur?,NTA
10xnrhh,"My husband and I have 3 children (25f)(16m)(13f). Our oldest moved out 3 years ago with her boyfriend, and got an appartment. They were together 4 years before that, so it wasn't like she ran off with some guy she just met. We supported her decision, she was old enough and working full time. The issue is rent in our area has more than doubled on average since. Their landlord raised the rent 40% in the span of 3 months, and they couldn't afford to stay there anymore. The issue is they weren't exactly swimming in cash before that, they don't really have enough for first last and security with the market, not that there's much to but anyway in their price range.Their plan was to move in with her boyfriends parents for a few months while they figured stuff out and saved up, but they won't let her come with. So they proposed an idea, she'd move back in with us, him with his parents, and they'd save up and be gone in 6 months tops. The issue is me and my husband don't feel that's appropriate. She's an adult now, and she needs to learn to take care of herself, not relying on handouts from her parents. She offered to pay rent, but we would only do that if she agreed to pay the market average plus her share of utilities, which would mean she couldn't save up like she wants to.Because we aren't doing that, she's been force to share a 2 bed appartment with 6 other people, some of whom she finds ""sketchy"". I feel for her, but I still think it's her responsibility. At this point she doesn't call much anymore and I'm worried this may have impacted our relationship.",AITA for not letting our daughter move back home?,YTA
10xdapp,"I'd just like to say my brother is 14 and he came out this year, I've always tried to be as supportive as I can especially since our parents are really trans phobic. I brought him a binder and a flag, I also yelled at our parents multiple times for stuff they've said too our family members about him. Now on to the problem I'm 26 and I have a 4 year old I named Finley, he's always loved my brother and I got my brother to explain to him what being trans was and he was great with it.My brother has been in between names for about 4 months, so since he came out to me he changed his name almost every week, this week he had messaged me saying he's found a name he really likes and says he thinks it would stick. When I tell you my mouth dropped, he messaged me that he was gonna call himself Finn. I didn't get mad or anything so I messaged back ""but Finley?"" Trying to point it out without sounding harsh but he messaged back ""but it's a completely different name, I don't go by Finley I go by Finn and Finley never gets called Finn"" I honestly just got really uncomfortable and tried to tell him how much it was gonna confuse people including my son who's best friends always call him Finn, it's only family who don't. I've tried to reason with him but he won't budge so we haven't talked in 2 days and I'm kinda waiting till he announces he's changed it again",AITA for telling my trans brother to change his name.,NTA
10wuipu,"So my wife and I are expecting our daughter in about a month (she’s 35 weeks now) and yesterday she started a conversation about me being present in the delivery room. She said it’s important for her that I’m there for support and comfort and that she would feel vulnerable and abandoned and alone if I weren’t. Now, I desperately want my wife to be as comfortable as she possibly could and I want to be there for her every step of the way but the truth is, I honestly don’t know if I would be able to help her much. I fear I would collapse and the doctors would have to deal with me instead of her and that just isn’t rational. I get very sick at the sight of blood, I know, it’s probably stupid but I can’t help it, I’ve fainted a dozen times because of this and I just know I would be more of a hindrance to her than help. One of our friends gave up a video recording of his wife giving birth and I couldn’t watch it. I understand, childbirth is a very natural, amazing and wonderful event but what I saw, little as it was, on that video still haunts me.Honestly, I’m pretty ashamed of this because it makes me feel weak and I hate that I can’t be there for my wife. I understand that she has to actually go through all of that not just see it, but my bottom line is that I’m convinced I won’t be able to stay and support her - I’ll either have to leave the room or just pass out next to her. She got very upset when I told her all that and we’ve barely spoken since. Am I being an asshole?",AITA for refusing to be with my wife while she’s giving birth to our daughter?,YTA
10wxtgd,"My (22F) friend (24F) recently got married, and this situation has been playing in my head ever since.I have quite a handful of tattoos, my chest is done, I have a full back piece, and I have my arms done (not fully but enough for it to be pretty hard to cover), none of my tattoos have offensive things, they're flowers, butterflies, I have a tattoo dedicated to my mom, my back piece is a very bold Japanese style dragon, with cherry blossoms around it to fill out the space. The wedding had an elegant dress code, we had to wear formal full-length evening gowns, which was a nice choice. I bought a dress a few months ago specifically for this event, it was full-length as asked, and it had off-the-shoulder straps (I'm really bad at describing it), and it was also black, and quite pricey (it was hard to find a dress like this around me).A month before the event, my friend called me and told me she wants me to wear a dress that ""covers my ink"" to the wedding. I informed her I had already bought a dress for her wedding and reminded her that I sent her photos of it. She told me she just saw it and that she wanted me to find a different one. I told her I wasn't going to be able to return the dress I bought and she told me to suck it up and that I should've known she would've wanted me to cover my tattoos, even though she is heavily tattooed. I asked if she would pay me back for the dress as it was expensive and she had plenty of time to tell me her specific request and she told me no. I was a little angry, to say the least, but said okay.I couldn't find a dress that met her specific requests to save my life. I looked online and most of the top parts were lace and see-through, I am also allergic to lace, or it's an irritant at least (actually found this out while shopping for the original dress.). I went to shops all around town, even travelled out of my way to look at boutiques, and still couldn't find anything.The day before the wedding came and I called her multiple times, but she didn't pick up. I called her house, and her fiance/husband picked up, I explained that I couldn't find a dress to cover all my tattoos and that I wouldn't be able to come to the wedding. He told me she would want me to be there, and not only that the reservations will be messed up if I don't come. I told him I didn't want to cause any drama and would rather not come. He told me it was nonsense and told me to show up, it won't matter at the end of the day.I did show up and wore a shawl over my shoulder to at least attempt to hide the tattoos. And all I got were side eyes from her and daggers. She's still pissed off at me for not being able to meet her request, but her husband and the rest of our friends think that her requests were out of line.Edit 1: I was not part of the bridal party, I was offered right at the beginning but I knew I wouldn't be able to dedicate as much time as everyone else since I am in school becoming a Nurse Practitioner, and I also work as a nurse doing 12's and sometimes more.Edit 2: I know a lot of people say you can't be allergic to lace, just saying the bodily reaction I had was very similar to an allergic reaction, I broke out into hives and almost scratched my skin raw when I tried on a dress with lace sleeves and lace top. Sorry folks.",AITA for wearing a short sleeve dress to a wedding?,NTA
10xd30m,"I24f asked my sister Susan to housesit my house for 2 days and basically make sure my cats fed. Long story short, Susan claimed my cat ran out the door under her feet and got hit. I grieved and was so depressed for a good week after, I’ve had my cat for 4 years. The weird thing was though that my cat was usually scared of the outside. Fast forward, I ask my sister if I can come by, she makes up an excuse. She did this for 3 days. Finally I show up unannounced and my niece lets me in, then excitedly ask me, “wanna see our new kitty?” I say yes, and she shows me an exact identical cat, of mine. Definitely my cat. I call my cat by it’s name and she came running to me. The only difference between the cats were someone did a horrible job shaving this one’s face (it’s long haired) My sister came in yelling that I couldn’t just walk in her house (even though I’ve done it a million and one times before.) I told her I wanted my cat back, and she denied it being mine.I went home and did a lot of research and was looking into lawyers, and evidence I needed. I then texted my sister today (I lied) and said I had a lawyer and I would be taking her to court for stealing my cat. She sent me an angry text back how if I took her to court I’d be a horrible sister and she has kids to think of and I don’t, and that my lovable cat made her want to get one blah blah blah the kids love their new cat.  I told her I didn’t care, she told me I was acting crazy over a cat and how she’ll never forgive me.I’m not a delusional woman, the cat was IDENTICAL to mine, came directly to its name. I love the cat like it’s my child. My sister has done messed up things to me in the past, but I never thought she would do this.  AITA",AITA for threatening to take my sister to court over assumptions of her taking my cat,NTA
10xern5,"My son's dad and I have gotten to the point of total communication breakdown. He also lies about me nonstop. I decided to keep him honest the only way I know how by publishing screenshots of all our conversations (which I take immediately, before he can delete) as well as relevant paperwork (with addresses and important numbers blacked out) on my Facebook. I also text them to his mom and grandma.He's said I'm being unfair, because our personal disputes should just be between us. I disagree. I think it's fine to use public shaming to motivate him if he does shameful things. He says I'm being a cunt because I don't even wait for him to not do something before I publish the receipts of saying he will. But at that point it would be too late.So what will happen is it'll be time for him to pick up our son and his boys will say ""aren't you supposed to be with your son"" and his grandma will text him to remind him to pay me. He says I've made his life a living hell and he can't find a moment's peace. I think that's his problem, but am I an asshole for doing this to him?",AITA for publishing receipts always?,NTA
10x4lj2,"I (24M) am estranged from my brother (20M) for reasons that are my fault (extended bullying on my end when we were kids). He went no-contact with me when I moved out for college, and in those years without contact I realized how wrong my behavior was and started therapy. I’ve since expressed my remorse and desire to make amends to my brother, but he’s declined any further contact.For family events in the years since he went no-contact with me, we’ve sort of traded off. He’ll go to one thing, I’ll go to the next. But my mom is getting remarried in the fall, and obviously she wants us both to be there. I’ve told my mom that I’ll do whatever I can do make it possible for both of us to be there. If he doesn’t want to talk to me at the event, I’ll do my best to make myself scarce when he’s around. But it’s looking increasingly like my brother will choose not to attend if I’m there.My therapist wants me to stand my ground and go anyway, but I’m feeling really guilty about it, especially since the estrangement is entirely my fault. My brother has good reasons for not wanting to see me. I’m remorseful now, but for many years in our childhood I treated him terribly. I feel like choosing to go is sending him the message that I’m more important to the family than he is.Edit: Thanks for the perspectives, guys. I’m choosing not to elaborate on some things that might give context because I worry about this post becoming too identifiable and I know this sub has a large reach. I hope this doesn’t come across as unfair/not playing by the rules of the sub. I appreciate that people have given responses based on different assumptions, because I know the situation and can determine if the comments ring true to it. The most important takeaway I have right now is that it might be time to seek another therapist who can give me a second opinion with the full context, rather than just the limited context I can give to Reddit.",WIBTA if I went to my mom’s wedding knowing it means my brother won’t attend?,NAH
10x50i0,"I (f20) am acquaintances with Layla (f21). We are in the same major and our university is small so we know basically everyone in our program.We enjoy going to this Chinese restaurant every two weeks with friends and last week I remarked while we were there that I wish I could read Chinese because the English translations on the menu seemed off.Layla got upset and corrected me saying I should say Mandarin instead of Chinese. I explained that I don't want to assume all dialects are Mandarin so I just say Chinese. I grew up around Chinese immigrants who mostly spoke Cantonese but I don't feel I can distinguish between the two dialects accurately. I speak only English and my parents immigrated here from Nigeria so it is linguistically unfamiliar to me. No one else at the table thought much of what I said but Layla has taken it upon herself to call me microaggressive every chance she gets now. Our other friends want to stay out of it and won't say anything when she gets aggressive toward me.This ""situation"" has stopped classes because she felt like arguing with me as she demands an apology.I personally don't feel like being bullied into a BS apology, especially by a white person on the basis of racism. I believe people are going to speak up soon because Layla's antics have disrupted lectures and presentations. We have Chinese acquaintances who haven't said much aside from understanding the exact issue. Yesterday, Layla asked our race inclusivity professor if someone ""for example"" said Chinese instead of Mandarin was an example of racism. She sat two rows in front of me and turned back to glare at me as she asked it. Layla does this a lot, even in classes where this isn't relevant. I want the drama to end.AITA for saying Chinese instead of Mandarin when I wasn't sure of which dialect?​Edit: Layla and I are NOT friends. She thinks we are because I'm a black person in her vicinity. I don't invite her over or hang out with her, I play nice because our industry is small but everyone else knows I do not like her. Last school year she tried to correct me on my own culture and I have since avoided talking to her. She is a white international student from Colombia, so I thought there might be some miscommunication in this situation. Still, she has been malicious towards me since day 1 so I doubt that.​EDIT 2: I can't reply to comments for some reason but to answer some questions:\-Layla is 0% Chinese. I know this because she brags about being 5% black and 95% Italian. If she was any part Asian, she would not let me hear the end of it\-The professor she asked said ""that's a weird thing to ask right now, but it depends on context"" and moved on. We were discussing diversity in Asian media so I think he took it as her virtue signaling.\-My friends don't like ""gossiping"" so when I tried to talk with them about it, they cut me off saying they don't want to gossip about a friend. Whenever Layla is around or wants to see me, a few agreed to act as a buffer and for the most part, they do that. Not in this instance so I think I'm going to take a break from the group.",AITA for saying Chinese instead of Mandarin?,NTA
10xgka1,"My BF and I bought our first home from an elderly couple in January of 2022. Initially, I kept in contact with one of them (lets call her Barb) in the event that we might receive some of their mail or something. Contact was very occasional and was always something along the lines of asking if I received a package of hers or that she wanted to mail us a key that she found that went to the lock on our shed.​Months after we moved in, around early October, we received some dining chairs in a box addressed to Barb. A day or two later, a repeat of the exact same shipment arrived. I attempted to contact Barb but my calls would not go through.​A few weeks later, I came home from work and my BF (who frequently gets home before me) told me that he was starting to feel guilty about the situation and asked me to follow him to our garage. Apparently, packages containing furniture and decor had been coming regularly for weeks and we now had a garage full of boxes that were not addressed to us. My boyfriend had been storing the boxes and assuming the shipments would stop, but they continued.​We doubled down and try harder to contact Barb with the help of other neighbors. We finally got in touch with her and she explained that she had lost her phone and that was why I was unable to contact her for some time. I explained the situation to her, and she gave me permission to open some of the items so I could describe them to her. She then told me that she had not ordered any of the items.​It turns out that, prior to moving, Barb had a friend of hers help her order furniture for her new home as she can't see well and was having trouble navigating the furniture website. This friend used her own computer to order Barb's things as a favor. I immediately became concerned that Barb was being robbed, and I urged her to contact her bank first and then her friend second.​Barb let me know days later that the charges were not fraudulent, it was a simple case of forgetting to change the shipping address, and the friend wanted to set up a time to come pick up her furniture from me. I explained that myself and my BF work a lot and I wanted to set up a time when I wouldn't be home alone. I don't know this person and I couldn't lift half of the furniture by myself to move it anyway.​I began receiving calls from Barb and her friend day and night asking me to find the time to let them collect the items. After a few weeks, my BF and I finally had a weekend off together. I messaged both Barb and her friend with a day and time and received no reply from either person. By the first of the year, still nothing. I began receiving calls again at the end of January, after we had already gotten rid of most of the items since we had not heard back. I have not been answering the calls. It has been over a year that we have lived here, and several months since we received the furniture. Am I the asshole here?",AITA for no longer accepting calls from the previous owner of my house?,YTA
10wwrd1,"While I don't think it's a big deal, I feel it may be asked. So I will state first and foremost that I have never liked dogs and especially dog nutters. I'm not talking about dog lovers. I'm talking about the individuals who would spit in a kids face for looking at their animal because they are ""such a protective mama/papa bear to their fur babies"". This seems judgemental and perhaps it is. But added to the context, what I mentioned above describes a good 70% of my family and my fiances family combined. Most are kid free but treat their dogs like royalty in a sense of treating everyone else like shit. I was excluded a lot until I was over the age of 18 simply because they prefer dogs to children and were vocal and rude about it. I couldn't even go to a family event as a child without being overlooked by most adults. Multiple gifts being handed out to the dogs, as well as hundreds of photos taken of them, when I got maybe 1 to 2 things and no photos. So no, I don't like dogs and I don't like those kind of people. BUT as I've gotten older I actually get along really well with a lot of the individuals who hated me as a child despite me being a quiet kid who stuck to myself.Anywho, all of our recent family weddings have been strictly kid free. I have no problems with what they want to do with their weddings. But I have 3 siblings, all of which have 2 kids under the age of 7. I also have a few cousins and collectively have 8 kids under the age of 11. With all of the other adults, they have about 10 dogs combined, I believe, and bring them everywhere because the whole family allows it. But my fiance and I talked and he is very respectful of the fact that I do not want dogs at my wedding but I DO want the kids there. I want them all to be included as little ring bearers and flower girls. All of them, which is completely out of the norm and a bit chaotic but they don't get included in anything and I think it will be a blast for them. So I sent out the invites that specifically said no dogs are allowed under any circumstances. Not even your emotional support dogs- which a few people in the family have claimed their dogs are (for no other reason other than ""they give me a happy boost so they are my emotional support baby""- no other ailments). A lot of calls and texts were sent to me in regards to this and a few were down right angry, stating that I am being ridiculous because their dogs are their kids and if I didn't want to include them then I shouldn't be allowing children either because they are ""much more chaotic than our precious fur baby"". I politely said that if they didn't like it they didn't have to attend. The kid bearing family members are ecstatic but a lot of the others have declined the invite- which upsets my fiance because this means his brother, sister and father won't be attending. But I'm standing my ground. AITA?ETA: I did make one single exception for my grandfather because he has a service dog who monitors his seizures but he is the only dog allowed.Also, my fiance's father doesn't have a dog himself. He refuses to attend the wedding because my fiance's sister went and cried to him for us not allowing her to bring her two Chihuahuas. His sister is 28 years old and has her father wrapped around her finger and still throws tantrums to get her way. So my future FIL has stated that he won't attend until we make an exception for my future SIL. It's a power trip and manipulation at best. But no, my fiance isn't upset with me. He's upset that his father is making his big day all about his childish sister.",AITA for making my wedding dog free?,NTA
10x6s0q," I (f16) am always cooking dinner for my family, even though I have a lot of extracurricular activities and AP (advanced placement) classes that take up a lot of time. I enjoy cooking and know I'm good at it, so I don't really mind and sometimes offer to cook. This past week I cooked dinner every night (5 nights&5 meals) for my dad, stepmom, and 2 brothers, only ONE of those nights I didn't have a single practice.  My step-nephew (m8) stays with us on Monday and Tuesday nights. Well last night I was super exhausted and decided that I didn't feel like cooking. I was really craving sushi from a nearby restaurant and wanted to get some delivered. I told my dad and he said he'd make something for everyone else and offered to pay for my sushi, even though I was planning on buying it myself. My dad cooked burgers for everyone (because he knows it's something I don't eat and my nephew, who is very picky, will eat). My food got delivered right as my dad finished cooking, so I sat down and ate with them. My nephew suddenly decided he HATES burgers, but loves sushi (he had tried sushi before and absolutely hated it, he just liked the idea of it). He threw an absolute fit and yelled and cried because he wanted my food. My dad and step mom both just said to give my food to him and I could have his burger. I got really frustrated and said that I had cooked every night this week and just wanted a break for one night to enjoy someone else's food, and they said that I could enjoy someone else's food, as in the burger. I reminded them that I don't like burgers and they said I needed to grow up and stop being a baby and just eat it. My nephew ate one bite of sushi and spat it out on top of the rest of the role. I just ate chips for dinner. I got very frustrated and went to my room, crying out of frustration.My dad came into my room and said if anyone should be mad it's him because he cooked the burgers and bought the sushi, even though I was planning on buying the sushi myself. He said I was being childish and a spoiled brat. AITA?",AITA For being angry my 8yo nephew ate my food?,NTA
10wygm3,"ive (18F) had a very rocky school life. in the 2nd grade i was moved from an English school to an Afrikaans school after moving in with my mother, as it was cheaper and next to our flat. the language change was hardi would walk my brother to his nursery school a couple blocks away, and then my sister and i would walk to school. my mother would only come home at around 6pm so i helped with my siblings homework, did dishes, washing, cleaned the house and generally cooked supper as well. because of this i hardly did my own homework. i'd often tell my teachers that i felt sick so i could go to the sickbay and sleepin the 6th grade my mother said she didnt have enough money to put all 3 of us in school the next year, as my brother would be going to grade 1, and said i'd have to wait. i didnt attend school for the next 2 years. i was then put in a English homeschool as it was cheaper, so another swap. i was put in grade 9, so i never did grade 7-8. i failed that year, but she pushed me through to the next grade anyway. i  was scared that if i failed again they would put me in grade 7, so i cheated my way through grade 10-11. the invigilators noticed at the end of grade 11 and i was expelledi was then put back into a normal school to repeat grade 11, i didnt have much faith in being able to pass, so i got a job parttime, expecting that i'd drop out after failing. by some miracle i passed, and am now in matric. i quit my job so i could put my all into this yeari focus in every class, do all my homework, classwork and studying. its the first time ive ever really been allowed to make school my priority. but if i do my homework i dont get to my studying, and if i study i dont get to my homework. im so tired all the time. our first set of exams are starting on Friday and i feel completely unpreparedi spoke to my mother about my struggling yesterday, and she said i was being ridiculous and that she passed without ever having failed or without ever having had to cheat, she said my struggling now was a consequence of my actions. i told her she'd been in the same school from grade 1-12 because her mother made sure she had stability in her life, and that its not surprising she never struggled in the same wayshe yelled at me and said that she was a good mom and that she wasnt the reason my grades werent as high as i want them. i told her i did well in primary school (grade 2-6), and that i got As and Bs, and her always screwing around with my life so she could prioritise my brother and sister was the reason i was struggling. she cried and carried on yelling about how i was disrespectful and ungrateful, her boyfriend had to pull her away back to her room since it carried on for a couple minutes. she isnt speaking to me now, she sent me a long message explaining that if thats how i really feel then i should go move in with my grandmother again ""since she was such a perfect mother""AITA?",AITA for telling my mother she's the reason i struggle at school?,NTA
10x8ccr,"An acquaintance who I've only met in person for a few days, who I'll name Bob for the sake of AITA; and I were participating in a gaming competition. He jokingly said that if he won 1st place, he would give me 10% of the winnings. I jokingly responded that if I got 77th place, I would give him $1. We were both clearly joking and everyone, including some of our friends who were there at the time were laughing throughout all this. However, I never agreed to give him anything if I won, and I am usually very careful with giving my word on things since I know I'll have to keep them.I ended up winning first place and Bob is now asking me for 10% of my winnings ($8,000), as if we had an agreement. I told him that I never agreed to anything and suggested that we could work together in the next competition officially so that we could split the winnings if we win. However, he is now begging/spamming and guilt tripping me, saying that he really needs the money even after I said no. He didn't deny that we never made an official agreement either especially on my end.So, AITA for not giving Bob my winnings?",AITA for not sharing my prize?,NTA
10xkfcx,"To make a long story a little shorter, towards the end of my grandmas life she was deceived by a family friend and wrote 50% of her estate to this woman, my mom got 6%, 2 cousins got 14%, and I got 30%. The total estate is worth between 400-450kThey had a 6 month court battle and the family friend settled on 75k and my mom would pay her legal fees. The 2 cousins felt bad for my mom and signed off their collective 14% to her. Now that the family friend has settled, my mom sent me a letter from her lawyer asking me to sign off my 30% to her and that she would “take care of me and to trust her”. She also guilted me telling me how hard this court case has been and that she has had a hard year.I sent her a text telling her that I won’t be signing this paper, but I’m willing to work something out so long as it’s in writing, but that I didn’t think it’s right for her to try to guilt me into giving away my inheritance. Now she is threatening me with lawyers and telling me to is whole ordeal is going to be expensive and mediation starts on 2/15 so I better get a lawyer. She’s had her best friend message me about the whole situation telling me that she is heartbroken, disappointed, and devastated that I’ve taken this route. I told him that I’m very disappointed in her and I don’t think a mother should be trying to take away everything from her son like this and that if she wants to make it work she should put it in writing. I think our relationship has been damaged, but I am really ticked off at her for trying to guilt me and make me the bad person for wanting to keep the gift my grandma gave me? (She loved me a lot and I’d spend every summer with her as a kid) I’m trying to start a business so this money would go a long way.AITA for trying to make sure I keep part of my inheritance and not sign it off to my mom after a long court case and a hard year for her (her other best friend died)Edit: for any of the adult adults here, she is threatening to take this all the way to the end and says the lawyers will take all of the money if I want to take it to court and nobody will get anything. How feasible is that? I can’t really afford a lawyer right now, what are my options?",AITA for refusing to sign off my grandmas inheritance to my mom?,NTA
10x7oir,"From the day we met, one of my husband's primary goals was to bring his daughter Lidia to live with him here in America so she could have a better life and have an actual family with some level of stability and structure. Lidia wanted to come live with us when she was little, but once she was about 15, her tune changed. We thought that it was because she was getting old enough to where her mother's (lack of) rules and structure was less scary and more to her benefit, so we pressed on. He finally won last spring shortly after she turned 17, and we brought her home shortly after.It's been a disaster. She doesn't want to be here. She doesn't know anyone here besides her father. There's a huge language barrier, so she can't really talk to us, let alone make friends here. Those would be big enough issues on their own, but it's nothing compared to the practical issues.She's supposed to have dual citizenship, but that either doesn't mean anything or it works differently than any advice we've gotten. Back in her home country, she was a senior in high school, and had already been accepted to several universities. She had some kind of driver's license. Here in America, all of that is meaningless. We can't get her even a learner's permit because her ""paperwork isn't right"". What's happening with school though...We had heard that the credit transfer would be behind, but every school we've talked to would put her as a sophomore at best. This not only means that she can't graduate this year, but she'd be in high school until she's **20(?!)**.She could get a GED, but that's looked down on by colleges here. We've looked into online, but the online options are viewed about the same or worse than a GED. If we were millionaires, we could just donate to some school to just give her a degree, but we aren't.So by moving here, instead of graduating this year and going to college, she has to be in high school into her 20s or she can't go to college at all. There is an option of sending her back home to live with her mother's friends to just graduate and get it over with and then come back. She'd have to make sure she was back in class there before April, but she'd only have a semester to make up so she could feasibly graduate on time. A high school degree from her home country would equal out, so she could go to college here with no issue.My husband won't hear it. He thinks she'll run away and never come back. He's adamant that there has to be another option and that everyone is just ""going off of emotion"". 20 schools, 3 lawyers, and tens of thousands of dollars later, I don't think so. I think this might be the only option and that we're running out of time to take advantage of it. As much as I also want her here and want her in this family, this is the wrong time and we shouldn't have pressed for her to come here in the first place. We've been arguing for days over this, and time is running out.",AITA for telling my husband that bringing his daughter to live here was a mistake?,NTA
10xcoqg,"I38f have a younger sister with a pretty big age gap- Laura25 I have 3 kids all practically grown up ages 16, 14 and 12. I’ve raised my kids and their perfectly happy and healthy. Laura has one child, she’s a first time mom, but I felt as if she was babying her son to much. He’s 3 and still only on baby food and breast milk. He does drink apple juice or chocolate milk, and eats basic things like Mac n cheese or mash potatoes, soft chicken nuggets. But that’s all he eats. She refuses to give him a variety, she’s a worry body. She has severe anxiety and is constantly worried of the worst happening.I was babysitting my nephew and I was baking peanut butter cookies. My kids all were eating them, and my nephew wanted to try one. Well 5-10 minutes later I noticed he was red in the face and his eyes looked weird. I was checking him out when I noticed him wheezing. I scooped him up and went directly to the hospital.They said he had a peanut allergy, there was no way I could’ve known. He had never had peanuts before. Laura showed up hysterical, cursing at me, saying how I’d never see her child again. She didn’t know he had a peanut allergy either though, she has never let him try new foods. I don’t think this in anyway my fault. They would have found out sooner or later, and a 3 year old should be trying more food.",AITA for feeding my nephew new food?,NTA
10xdj2z,"I (22F) have been working at a restaurant as a hostess for just about a year. In October we got a new hire, I'll call her Sadie. I was responsible for training her. On her first day, she told me she was 18 and still in high school. I gave her advice on colleges and applying to them and such. On her next shift working with me, she told me that she was a freshman in college and 19. I thought this was odd but I thought maybe I misremembered or something. She also told me about her family and tried to set me up with her brother.Fast forward to now. Sadie was dating a guy at my job. He was telling me that sometimes he catches her in lies. I told him and my other coworker that was standing with us about the odd occurrence that happened on her first day. I looked up on my phone the college was attending and the sports roster for the sport she played. She wasn't on there at all. I then looked up the high school she told me she went to and their sports roster. She was right at the top. With some more digging, we found out that everything she told us was a lie. Her 'brother' was really her long-distance boyfriend. She was also likely 17. I didn't tell anyone about this however the people who were with me did. At my job gossip spreads quickly. I was soon known as the person who exposed her. Sadie proceeded to talk very badly about me to my coworkers. After a few shifts of everyone knowing she had a breakdown and quit because she was being bullied (I'm not sure if people were bullying her). So AITA for exposing my coworker's lies which caused her to possibly be bullied and caused her to quit?",AITA for exposing my coworker which caused her to quit.,NTA
10xcyzj,"When I (29) was 6, my father threatened both my mother and I.He constantly calls her a dunce and selfish when she doesn't cook for him. He insulted her mother (my grandmother) in front of the entire neighbourhood and sulks whenever my gran comes around. He has forced my mother to take out credit card loans (which he pays back for her) and now my mother suffers from high blood pressure (often over 200 systolic) which he has admitted that he knows he is responsible for. In fact, she is convinced that he leaves devices around the home in order to be able to listen while she is home alone.We have discussed her leaving him and she has told me that she is approaching the end of her life and just wants companionship. She has already spent 30 years with him and ""no man will want a partially blind older woman who has two grown kids but no education"". Even if she does leave, she and my aunt both believe that he will try to stalk her or worse for ""ruining his life"". I don't trust that the police to keep her safe and I don't blame her for not wanting to make that gamble - I wouldn't myself.My sister has also had bad experiences with him. He has always told her that she is too stupid to be a doctor which is what she always wanted to be. As she has gotten older he has made awful comments about her appearance that makes her uncomfortable (apparently she is too skinny/too ugly so ""needs a good education as men won't want her""). He refused to let her do athletics because of the ""skimpy clothing"". He tells her that her periods are not that bad (as his sister used to be fine on her period) and she is just curling up in bed with her hot water bottle for sympathy. He constantly compares her grades to what mine were. He does not even let her chose what subjects that she studies.In summary, my sister does not want to live with him a moment longer than she has to and as I have recently got my own place she has asked if she can come and live with me. She has even put money from her part time job into furnishing my place. I will never close my door to my sister and told her that she can live with me if that is what she choses to do.My mum has told me that the stress of trying to keep the family together is making her blood pressure skyrocket. She is terrified of being left home alone when she struggles to see and could collapse from high blood pressure at any time. It feels like we are betraying her when it is finally our turn to support her.When I told my little sister what my mother had said she responded with ""What can I do? She chose to marry him, I never chose to have him as my father"".Would I be the asshole for letting my sister come and live with me?",AITA for letting my little sister (17) live with me and leave my disabled mother (53) alone?,NTA
10x8a09,"My husband (M42) and I (F42) have 6 kids (F15, M13, F13, and M9, F7 and M7). Our oldest has always been closest to our 13 y/o daughter, our 13 y/o son isn’t that close to any of his siblings because none like sports like he does. Our kids normally get along pretty well though. Recently, there has been trouble with our older set of twins.A few weeks ago, I got a call from the middle school, apparently my daughter and a group of girls she was friends with were picking on a boy for being gay. Our daughter is indefinitely grounded, had her phone taken away among some other things. Our daughter’s friend group is a group of pretty popular kids, but some of their friends have dropped them. Our son is very embarrassed by his twin sister and in the past few weeks, they haven’t been on good terms.My husband and I have sat down with our son and he’s said he has classes with the boy and said he’s a nice kid and thinks his sister is terrible for doing this. The boy is ok thankfully, he has good friends and my son has tried to talk to him to make sure he knows he doesn’t approve of his sister’s behavior. Our daughter still thinks it’s an “overreaction”, which is probably coming from some peers at school feeding her this.Yesterday, my sister was picking up my kids for me, our son was at the gym and our two oldest daughters were getting their nails done for the oldest’s upcoming sweet 16 (in less then a week), the girls were picked up first and then my sister went to get my son. Our 13 y/o daughter asked him what the gym was like, he refused to talk and stuff escalated from there.Last night, our oldest said she doesn’t want her brother coming because she doesn’t want the twins to fight and think he’s in the wrong for “holding a grudge” and said that her sister just “made a mistake, even if a big one”. My husband and I talked and agreed that we wouldn’t allow that, as we see it as a reward for the homophobia. The mani-pedi was also the first time our 13 y/o was allowed out since the incident, because she is grounded, we let her do this because we didn’t want her behavior affecting our oldest negatively.However, when we were talking about this with my parents and siblings, they said that it should be up to our oldest because it’s her day, not ours. They said while they think our 13 y/o’s behavior was unacceptable,  and said she should be punished, that it’s “not our choice” who to invite and who not to invite. AITA?",AITA for telling my daughter she can't uninvite her brother from her sweet 16?,NTA
10xcwai,"I (25F) share an office space with two men, ""Rob"" (36), and ""Bill"" (50?). I have worked here just over a year, but Rob has worked here for 7 years, and Bill around 13 years. While Bill is incredibly nice and respectful, I've had problems with Rob being way too handsy and making comments/jokes that make me uncomfortable.Part of the problem was that at first the way he acted wasn't malicious and then things got worse over time. At first, he really only did ""endearing"" things like following me and liking my pictures on Instagram or complimenting my tattoos or outfits... I even used to joke around with him.Things got out of hand when he started doing things like referring to me as his ""work wife"", touching / squeezing me, staring, make comments about my body such as ""You know what you're doing wearing those jeans"" or just straight up catcall me when I would do things like walk in/ walk out.Each time I would try to laugh it off and say ""that's a weird thing to say"" or ""buy me dinner first"" because I wanted to avoid conflict. But once things escalated to a certain point the way he acted wasn't funny anymore, it was creepy. Especially considering that he is a married man with two kids.I went to management a few months ago because Rob ""accidentally"" grabbed my breast. I made a formal report about the incident and about how the rest of his behavior made me uncomfortable, I explained everything. I was told they would meet with him, but that I need to be more direct with Rob and not joke back with him as this probably made the situation worse. After his meeting, Bob apologized and said he never meant to make me uncomfortable. He insisted that but that he was just joking and that he didn't mean anything by it, calling it ""banter"".For a while Rob was completely normal and polite. But slowly he fell back into his previous behavior, starting after he learned that my longtime boyfriend and I had broken up a month ago. Only now he would follow the harassment with ""ha-ha kidding"" or if I would call him out for staring/touching he would say it was an accident.This all came to a head when the other day he asked me to help him with something when I went to get a chair, he told me that he already had one and gestured to his lap... but it was ""ha-ha just a joke"". I told him to stop but he kept laughing and told me to chill out. I left our office space and went to our manager's office and told them that Rob was giving me problems again and that I didn’t know what to do anymore and that I wanted to quit.Long story short, Rob was fired, and I agreed to stay with the company.  After Rob was fired, he sent me a text saying that I am being completely ridiculous for getting him fired over sexual harassment when because that is completely untrue. He sent me a whole rant about how I was the problem for going along with it and that I twisted the narrative.AITA?",AITA for getting my coworker fired?,NTA
10wyese,"So I F(31) met Lisa F(36) in my accounting class and we started to bond because we are both adult students. She is severely behind on her homework because she said her pipes broke and she has to shower at a hotel every weekend with her 2 daughters. During the week, she has to take wash ups in her sink. She is taking 7 classes this semester to graduate on time in May. She asked if I could stay with her at school to have a homework session. I told her that it is very uncomfortable for me to stay at school to do homework because 1. My son comes home from school around 345 and I need to be home when he gets there. 2. It is so uncomfortable to sit at school and do homework. I need to be in the comfort of my own home. So I invited her and her two daughters over for a homework session and also a play date. She thanked me and told me she’ll bring a pizza for the kids and she’ll be there at 630 pm. I have been wanting to cook curry chicken and rice for a while so I decided to cook it before she arrived. She then came earlier than expected (530 pm). I made enough for me, herself, and also my neighbor and her kids because they are big fans of what I made, but not for my son and my classmates kids. My son (6) already told me that he wanted ramen instead and also she said she was bringing pizza. So she comes and immediately goes upstairs to poop. It was a little awkward but didn’t think too much about it. I noticed she didn’t bring any pizza and  I asked about it. She said that she got her two daughters (5 and 9) Wendy’s instead. I asked her daughter how old she was and she said 5. She’s taller than my son and weighs more. Her mom immediately corrects her and says 3. This kid also had a speech impediment. I apologize to the mom because I notice the daughters looking around and asking for food. The nine year old was very blunt and kept asking for the food, popcorn, and ramen. I made enough for myself to have leftovers the next day but I also told myself it’s not my responsibility. Obviously, the kids are either poor and don’t have enough adequate food or either have a mental illness or both. A few hours later,  the kids said they didn’t want to leave and the mom asked for them to spend the night and I said no because I was very overwhelmed and plus it’s a weeknight and it’s their first time here. EDIT: AITA for not giving them my leftovers which was one piece of chicken, rice and veggies and telling them no about spending the night? I did give the kids snacks. (Popcorn and Oreos ) she said the 9 year olds Wendy’s “accidentally” got thrown away.2nd Edit: I invited her over for dinner and she declined saying she had class tonight. I said the kids can come over when she goes to school instead of staying with dad at the house. At least that what she told me what happens when she does go to school.",AITA for not feeding my colleagues kids?,NTA
10xmudq,"My husband (26 M) died in December and left me with a life insurance policy. I was only expecting a couple thousand dollars but the payout turned out to be substantial. My husband was sick for a very long time and toward the end I needed help and my parents offered to help me and allowed us to move into their home. Now that my husband has died and I have money my parents are expecting me to use all the funds I received to pay off their mortgage. I know that if I do pay off their mortgage I’m never going to see that money again. My mother fully expects me to do this for them. When the check arrived the first thing out of her mouth was “you can pay off the house” the second things was “$300,000 is the price of your freedom”. In truth I don’t want to I have a bad feeling about it and while I am extremely thankful for their help this feel disproportionate. My husband and I moved in less than a year ago and the whole time I’ve been living here I have paid rent and I have helped with utilities and groceries (in short I haven’t been a freeloader or a burden). The car I drive to and from work is under my dad’s name and the very first thing I did was pay it off. I really don’t know how to approach this or how to tell them that I’m not comfortable doing this but at the same time they are so confident and sure that this is the “right” thing to do and what is “owed” to them that I’m really questioning myself and wondering if I’m being a greedy asshole. I have aspirations of purchasing my own home and putting money aside for retirement. I am not opposed to, and I will happily, giving them some money to show my gratitude but the idea of giving them the full amount creates a pit in my stomach. AITA?",WIBTA if I refuse to pay off my parents mortgage?,NTA
10xkekk,"Me and my “wife” (29F), Taylor, have known each other for a long time. If you know me, I’m kind of guy who is a joker, but would of given you the shirt off my back. You’re probably wondering why “wife” is in quotatian marks.Well, I had an old buddy from the military who wrote on the bottom of his shoes in Magic marker at his wedding— kind of like Woody in Toy Story, except instead of “Andy” he wrote “Help Me!”. and it was really funny. And it helped show off their personality because they are the kind of couple that doesn’t take themselves too seriously.That’s always how I’ve seen me and Taylor. She’s the kind of girl who loves to laugh.I wanted to help plan the wedding as much as I could. I made sure we all had suits who needed them. I talked on the phone with some of the vendors. And I had my hands in 5 Alarm Baked beans to feed 200 people up until an hour before the ceremony.I got to see a side of Taylor I never saw before. You know how ladies can get about weddings. All of a sudden I’m hearing about things like “fire codes” and fire Marshalls, place cards and place MATS.Taylor and I are always pulling pranks on each other. So I thought it’d be fun to lighten the mood on the big day. Taylor and I love the water, and we love to fish. Sometimes we let them go, and sometimes we throw them on the grill.Like I said, we wanted our wedding to show off our personality. We even had a table to honor the ones who couldn’t be there with us that day.After the kiss, I had my little brothers lower a banner for pictures. The first one was the one with our names on it (think “Meet The Smith’s”). Then, the next one was I had someone on Etsy make me a banner of a Cartoon fish (like those singing ones from the store) saying “Hook, Line, And Sinker. HELP ME!”I never would of guessed how angry she would be. I thought it would give her a laugh after all the wedding planning stress. I didn’t mean any harm. And I apologized in front of everyone. But Taylor left before we even got to do the receiving line. She said that she doesn’t think I’m ready to  get married and that now neither is she.Long story short, I’m living at my Nana’s house. And I don’t know if I have a wife anymore. Taylor won’t pick up the phone. She’s blocked me on all social media.Reddit, I put up a “help me” sign at our wedding as a joke. AITA?",AITA for playing a prank on my wife (29F) at my (31M) wedding?,YTA
10x1oe4,"So the backstory, my parents weren't the most responsible people so I ended up spending alot of time with my grandparents, as I grew up I felt a closer connect to them then my parents. Skip forward when I graduated, I moved out of my parents and in with my grandparents at first it was just to find a job and apartment, but then their health started to fail so I decided to take care of them. About 6 years later, both have passed and it turns out they left me the house as a thank you. My mom was happy for me, she admitted she hated to lose the biggest part of her inheritance, but was overall happy for me. My aunt however went scorched Earth, she even tried suing me claiming I must have manipulated them, to make I long story short my mom ended giving the rest of her inheritance to my aunt in agreement that she can't sue me. Now 2 years later I have a great job in a neighboring city about an hour away and am thinking about moving there, so I can be closer to work and I can afford a nicer house. I talked to family and friends about it. My mom said she would have never helped me if she thought I was going to move out of the house. My aunt, who somehow found out, said she would have fought harder for the house, if she had know. Apparently everyone thought I was just going to live in that house for the rest of my life. Some are saying, it's your life and house and good for you for wanting to improve, some are saying just continue the commute, others are saying I am horrible for even thinking about sell a ""family home"". So reddit Aita?",AITA for selling my house and moving?,NTA
10x9dwz,"Hey! So this happened a couple months ago when I (F25) flew to New York. I bought myself a window seat on the plane because I like the window, not really any other reason. So we board the plane and I sit on my designated seat. After a bit this mom and her kid, less than 10 years old sit down on my row, the mom in the corner and the kid in the middle. Of course, the mom asks me to switch with her kid because he likes the window. I simply say no, don't really make an excuse or anything. The mom looked shocked I said no, and insisted. I don't really like talking to strangers and I wasn't looking for a fight so I said no again and put on my headphones so she drops it, but I don't really turn them on. She starts bad mouthing me and got the flight attendants attention, the attendant told her that it was my choice, asked her if it was going to be a problem, I guess that was threatening enough to make her shut up. It was an awkward flight. And when we got there she deliberately took a long time to get up and probably insulted me, though I couldn't hear her cause this time I was listening to music. I told my friend this story and she said I should've just moved, but idk I mean I reserved that seat. AITA? TLDR I refused to give this kid the window seat and his mom got mad at me, aita?Edit: I showed my friend the post and she said that what she meant is that the kid probably doesn't get to travel much and was let down, but she loves kids so I can see why she would just think of him. She says she personally would've switched and is now saying she never defended the mom. It's all okay though. Thanks reddit!",AITA for not switching seats?,NTA
10xnl9n,"I am from the UK and my family has been there for generations. I am a black British person. I am doing an exchange semester in the United States and have a roommate here. We get along alright as in we are cordial but he is not the type of person I would be friends with.Recently, I was hanging with him and some other mates and he said I was African American so assumed I should know about something to do with African American culture that we were talking about. I assumed he just slipped up. but he doubled down and said that African American was a race, and that I am being offensive by using the term black and explained that the word American is important as it makes me belong and the word African makes me part of a group of Americans. I told him he was an AH-American as he is an American and AH clarifies the kind of American he is. He got mad and is still annoyed at me for saying that but later told me that he thinks maybe British African might also work to describe me.I thought we were over with this but he seems to be still frustrated with me and insinuating that I owe him an apology and because we are roommates I cannot avoid him.",AITA for calling my flatmate an AH-American after he insisted I am an African American,NTA
10xlb8i," My 43F daughter 17F was dating a girl for two years who recently passed away due to reasons I won’t be disclosing. After the fact, my intelligent, popular, and successful daughter became completely a shell of herself and even wore clothes that used to belong to said girl for comfort. Obviously I tried to give her space to heal. Recently though, I noticed she’d been looking happier and had more life in her eyes, more like her usual self.Until they turn 18, I will be monitoring all of my kids’ internet history due to safety concerns. I noticed she’s been spending a lot of time on a Character AI website. I found this fairly unusual so I asked her about it, and she told me she created a “character” she could talk to that had all the personality traits, quirks, and inside jokes that she had with her girlfriend. This AI could even do roleplays, which my daughter tried.I told her I understand her pain but this is an incredibly unhealthy coping mechanism and she should be speaking to her friends and family instead. She looked heartbroken and isn’t speaking to me at the moment…AITA",AITA for Telling my Daughter Not to Make an AI of Her Dead Girlfriend?,YTA
10xh3qa,"My wife and I have been having some marital difficulties of late. Part of this stems from my work travel schedule, and the demands of my job, and has resulted in us going to therapy. That hasn't worked out because our therapist was... less than competent. He actually made things infinitely worse by creating communication issues for a week by telling my wife not to respond if I contacted her while I was traveling and that he would message me that he would talk to me solo the next week... except **he never did**. So I was texting my wife for a week to no response, and she thought he had asked me not to, so she thought I was fucking with her.So this week, when I returned home from travel, my wife was noncommunicative the first day or so. We talked a bit the next night, sorted out the above issue (after which I fired the therapist) and she divulged under duress that she was planning to see other people. There was a lot more to the discussion, but given that, she talked about spending the rest of the week at friends' houses. I mentioned that I would need the car to go on what was our planned ski trip, indicating I would be going alone.The following morning, she said she was thinking about just staying that night at a friend's and coming back the next. So I was optimistic that maybe we would work things out. Then she talked about going to visit her sister and using a friend's car to do that. The ski trip and her sister's house are the same general direction, both several hours drive. So, being an optimist, I said maybe she could just drop me off. She says something about 'not being able to go on her dream vacation?'. Immediately, I got a funny vibe, but I let it go.Well, tonight she calls after work, and has decided to spend both tonight and tomorrow at friends, and  then all day Friday doing personal stuff, and then come home to pack for the trip Saturday. Clearly when she says 'the trip', she means skiing. She says that she'll drop me off, go to her sister's and then maybe come up for a few days. I didn't respond at all on the call so as not to fly off the handle.After we hung up, I texted her that I did not want to spend all that time in a car with someone who clearly did not want to be around me, just for the sake of convenience, and that I would rent a car and she could take ours. And that if she wanted to ski, I would send her the email with the pre-paid pass info. Without being explicit, I was implying that she would not be welcome to stay in the room. I wrote that I felt I was being used for the trip (that I paid for 100% of and would cancel were I able to at this point) and she would clearly rather be with anyone but me.Am I the asshole for telling my wife not to come on our planned vacation?",AITA for telling my wife not to come on vacation,NTA
10x8dyj,"Sorry I posted this on the throwaway account before by mistake so reposting now on actual account Hi everyoneSo a little context, I (25f) have a strange family dynamic- I come from a very big family. There are eight of us altogether, but I only have one full sister. The rest are all half siblings from both my mum’s and my dad’s side. Now I have a brother who is 21. I’ll call him D. He was adopted out of the family as a baby, me and my other sister were very young at the time and lived with our dad as my mother was seen as an unfit parent. Because my dad wasn’t D’s dad, he was adopted. My mother then married and then had 3 other children nearly a decade later.  D reached out to me in 2021 and he said he wanted to get to know his birth family. We met up once, he came to my baby shower last February, met my mother there and even spent Christmas with her last year. But me and him haven’t seen each other since February. Now here’s the dealD has a girlfriend (20) who I’ll refer to as M. I don’t know M in person but last year she added me on fb. I accepted as I wanted to get to know D properly and she was supposedly apart of his life. However, she then kept harassing me to find out why D wasn’t answering his phone and if D has spoken about her, demanding answers why it was taking D so long to pick up the phone. It didn’t stop there unfortunately and when I say this woman is mentally unstable I do actually mean it and I don’t say that lightly. My son was then taken to hospital with bronchitis last November and I had enough of her messaging me about D continuously so I asked her if she could stop messaging me about D because I don’t know her and I barely know D and I’m more concerned over my baby who was in hospital. She said some pretty unkind things and then blocked me. Anyway I’m getting married in 2 months now. I invited D to my wedding and gave him a plus 1 because I believed it was the polite thing to do. The RSVP date has been and gone, so I start chasing people up to see if they are attending or not. I messaged D at the end of December, no response, I message him again mid January, still no response, so I assume he isn’t coming. Until I get a message today and he’s asking me if he and M can stay with me for the wedding or if I can put them up in a hotel.Now I’m a little baffled because firstly I have no money at all to start paying for hotels, and if he had answered me the first two times I could’ve sorted it out then when I did have funds still, and secondly, I do not want M in my house, anywhere near my child and now I’m being called unreasonable and unhelpful. I’m being told that as the eldest sister I have a responsibility to help out and I wanted him there at my wedding and now I’m not doing anything to accommodate for him and his girlfriend. If he came alone I wouldn’t have minded so much, but I don’t want his girlfriend staying with me and in my house. AITA for this?**Edit to add** so I probably wasn’t very clear: I knew he would bring M to the wedding, I didn’t mind that so much. I just didn’t think he was going to expect me to put them up and in my own house. I have an issue with her being in my house and around my child. At a wedding, at least there are other people there",AITA for not letting my brother stay with me if he brings his girlfriend?,NTA
10xffaq,"My (36f) and husband (41m) 5th anniversary is coming up but I don’t want to celebrate it at all. 7 months I found my husband’s active dating profile, after he couldn’t lie his way around it he told me that he had been cheating off and on for most of our marriage. we did a few sessions of couples therapy but stopped because he said I should have been over it and he was tired of feeling like the bad guy. whatever I’m really only in it because I don’t want our two children to grow up with divorced parents and I can put my feelings aside for them. Now our anniversary is coming up and he wants to do something big because it’s a milestone anniversary. I can act happy most of the time but I can’t stand the idea of celebrating like nothing is wrong. He also tells me that if we don’t celebrate it then all of our friends and family will think that something is wrong. While neither one of us want extra people in our business I don’t see the point of celebrating something when he’s been unfaithful for so long. My husband thinks I’m being extra and dramatic for not wanting to do anything so AITA?",AITA for not wanting to celebrate my anniversary?,NTA
10xfug8,"I have had a new boss for the past 1.5 years we just can’t understand each other.I am the kind of person who needs an execution plan with exact deliverables, names, and a timeline. That's how I work best. My boss, on the other hand, is allergic to specific plans. She talks in generic statements and refuses to ever put down specific plans. She says things that sound grand and really important, but no one knows what exactly they mean and how exactly are we going to get there? What makes this match even worse is that she constantly wants to ‘talk strategy’ with me, but ends up wasting hours several times a well just blabbering in generic grand statements with no specific plans at the end of the tunnel. And every time I beg her that we start putting down how we will go about executing them - why, what, who, when, how, etc. - she gets annoyed at me that I am not helping and I am not a team player (because apparently wanting to put names on tasks somehow means I am not a team player).Another interesting thing about her is that she never types anything up, she’ll call me for me to type something up, clean it up, and send it to her. Recently, we were asked to put together an annual plan for our function. For the 1000th time, she schedules a whole day with me to develop a plan. We get to that planning day and, of course, it gets wasted on me typing up generic repetitive statements that she tells me to put down. And every time I try putting down a specific execution plan, she tells me that it’s not what we need and keeps blabbering about the grand plans. If you internationally tried having the most counterproductive day in your life, it still wouldn’t be as bad as that day. We went on to have the call with the higher-ups and it sucked. She was repeatedly asked for specific plans (which I repeatedly told her we would be asked about) and she kept redirecting and outright lying about all the grand work we are doing and have in the store, you just watch this space. After that call, I lost it. She made both of us look like idiots. I kept insisting that we need an execution plan and she kept making me feel like I am an idiot for asking to do that. We get on a call after that meeting and she starts by blaming me that I did not develop a proper plan to get approval. In response, I started listing to her the meetings we had over the months preceding this call and specific emails where I am strongly recommending that we focus on the execution plan. I ended up telling her that she is constantly wasting my and company time and resources on useless grand plans and needs to change her style to be more about actionable plans and taking responsibility for executing them.We fell out and haven’t spoken since last week and I am not sure what to do about this situation and whether IATA.",AITA for telling my boss she is wasting my and company time and resources?,NTA
10xey3x,"I want insight into if me and my partner are assholes in this situation.My partners cousin had a baby with a man old enough to be her father, as soon as she was pregnant they split up. She couldn't cope when the baby was born and was going to give her up for adoption. My partner and I offered to have her baby until she was ready to have her back.We had her baby from 1 week old until she was 16 months old, during this time she spent every waking minute trying to convince us to legally adopt her because she would never want her back. We declined, because we were certain she would change her mind. She was also addicted to drugs at the time and we were sure she would eventually get clean.Well she got better, she wanted her back, she's had her now for 5 months. Her and the babies father still argue every single day for hours on end, and constantly get together then split up again. She's not exactly the best mum in the world, any progress we made with the baby has vanished and certain things I really disagree with in my head.The other day we visited and she was back with the babies father. She told us that she wants another baby and she's come off the pill. I think I just saw red. We had an argument where I expressed my concerns that she couldn't cope with the first one, still doesn't care for her right, and is likely to split up with the father again in 2 days time. She quickly picked her daughter up, took her upstairs, came back down and told us both to get out. We tried to explain that we were just worried after last time and it's really not the best idea to have another. She says we were being rude and we were just jealous because we can't have our own (which is true we are struggling, we're going for our 4th round of IVF).She's now refusing to talk to us, refusing us any visits with the baby, her 2nd birthday is in a couple of months and she's said we're uninvited, until we apologise for being assholes basically.","AITA for voicing concerns over my cousin having another baby, after she struggled with the first?",NTA
10wx50c,"My bf is mad at me because he feels like I’m not very empathetic about the issues he faced as a child.I genuinely don’t see them as horrible as he says they were.So here’s the situation My bf grew up in a very rich family(top 1% club) and mostly had a good relationship with both his parents.However he resents his father for sending him to a boarding school against his will and being very strict with him before that.He didn’t like the school at first but it turned out to be a good thing for him eventually.Also it was a really prestigious school(part of the Ten Schools Admissions Organization) and that really helped in shaping his future.I had a way worse childhood.Grew up in a working class POC family.My parents fought all the time and I worked throughout high school because we were always tight on money.With my background, I don’t see how his life was so traumatic.His dad has apologised to him multiple times and he still uses his parents’ money and connections, I don’t really see it as a big problem.He’s really upset with me and called me insensitive.AITA?Edit: I did try to be understanding about his trauma at first.But he continues to prioritise his family even when he hates them.He barely ever talks about his trauma to them and likes to pretend that it’s all okay.It has become very frustrating when all he does is talk shit about his parents to me while not doing anything about it.",AITA for not being very empathetic about my boyfriend’s situation,YTA
10xmyzy,I (m25) am one of my nephew’s emergency contacts since I work from home. His mom is not in the picture and my brother works super long hours. So usually I pick him up and take care of him till my brother picks him up. Today he had a bad fever and my brother didn’t respond to the call. So I picked my nephew up and took care of him from 12 pm to 7 pm. This entire time I’m calling him and he’s not responding. At 8pm my nephew was sleeping and I was periodically checking his temperature and having him drink some gatorade.Between having to work a full day while having to take care of him I was spent. I decided to crack a few beers open to decompress. I asked if my girlfriend could watch him until my brother came and she agreed. So I was having a few beers and watching some sports until my brother shows up. He walks in and sees my nephew sleeping on the couch while my girlfriend was sitting next to him and sees me drinking. After explaining the whole situation he gets pissed at me since I was drinking while his son was sick. I said he was being watched by my girlfriend (who btw has babysitting experience). He said he didn’t trust her and he only trusts me. I told him he was being an irresponsible father for not responding to a single one of my calls. He said he was having a busy day at work and that he couldn’t check his phone.AITA?,AITA for having a drink while my nephew was sick?,NTA
10wwwp2,"So a little background info to set the scene, basically - meet woman with kid from another relationship, had a brief relationship where i got her pregnant, we break up few months after kid is born, i now visit regularly to see my kid.We get on better as friends and have a reasonably healthy relationship, but throughout this time of visiting it has come up on a few occasions about how her eldest son (6) wants me to be his Dad (his bio-dad isn't in the picture). I've always said that i don't feel like a dad to him, but that i still care and will do my best to be a positive role model as much as she is willing to allow me, after all she has final say over how much 'influence' i have for her son.Personally i feel this is coming up more often from him due to him seeing what kind of relationship i have with my son (18mths) and he wants that too, which is understandable. His mum wants me to have him call me dad because she wants both her kids treated equally (read: exactly the same). She's using her past of having a mum with various partners at times treating her and her elder sister differently to inform how she wants her kids treated. She's always pushed the label of Dad on me with him, and has always made me feel like i'm the only one who is responsible for spending quality time with him. My stance has always been that no 2 kids are always treated exactly the same, there will always be variations regardless of the parental situation, and that her eldest just wants something that someone else has (he'll often do this with food, toys etc.)It does pull on the heartstrings to see a kid desperate for that affection, but i also can't help how i feel, and that is ultimately that i'm not his dad.So i put to you, fine people of Reddit.....Am I The A*shole?",AITA For not wanting my ex's kid to call me Dad.,NTA
10xke2t,"I have a group of ten friends who like to experiment with food from around the world.  We take turns hosting meals in our homes and making dishes from around the world.  I will give a few examples so you understand how varied we getCarlos made face tacos.  The meat came from the cheeks and tongue of a cowA couple of weeks ago Arthur made haggis for Robbie Burns Day.  That's sheep organs and oats stuffed in a sheep stomach.  Ángela had a make your own poke bowl night.  She included raw tuna, salmon, and sea urchin.  Amanda made us a wild game meal that included squirrel and rabbit she hunted herself. The country that my family is from has horse as a traditional part of the diet.  I found a local butcher that sold chevaline.  That's horse meat.  I made to versions.  One traditional band one that I used mutton for the protein.  I made sure that they were labeled and I told everyone what was in each dish.  Afterwards on of my friends said I was an asshole for serving horse.  I thought maybe he ate some by accident.  Nope he just thinks that animal isn't for eating.  It's weird because before he always bragged about how if it ""runs, walks, swims, flies, crawls, or slithers""  he will eat it.  Both versions of the dish were completely gone so obviously our other friends didn't think that animal isn't for eating.  It's been ba few days now and he won't drop it.  He keeps texting everyone trying to get them in his side.  I'm considering asking our group if we can just stop inviting him.  AITA?",AITA for serving a traditional meat to my guests.,NTA
10x2bh2,"Throwaway bc idk if she's on reddit or notMy dorm roommate has IBS. She was upfront with me about this right away because we share a restroom and didn't want me to be surprised if she spends a long time in there.A key aspect of this situation is that I have pretty distinctive garbage bags that I use. They're bright pink and my sister got them for me as a gag gift when she went to Japan. Our trash room is shared for the floor, and I actually received a compliment once on the garbage bag from someone who was also throwing away their trash at the same time.Now... we also have a floor group chat on Snap. A few days ago, someone messaged the chat like ""wtf someone shit theirself and threw it away"". Apparently the trash room smelled like actual human shit and there was an untied garbage bag inside with a pair of poopy panties inside.A pink trash bag.I started to get teased on snap about shitting my pants because word got out that I'm the one who has pink trash bags. Just stupid stuff like DMing me links to diapers and things like that. I told people it wasn't me, but nobody believed me because of the pink bags. Even one of my friends on another floor heard about it and was like ""wow OP couldn't you have at least taken it outside to the dumpster""I exploded and told her that it was my roommate who pooped herself since she has iBS and that she'd just used one of my bags to toss her panties. Apparently word got around, and my roommate confronted me yesterday and said that I had no business telling people she had IBS and she was humiliated that I would tell people that she shit her pants. I told her that people were bullying me and that all I'd done was clear my name. She called me a bitch and hasn't spoken to me since.So... AITA for telling people that it was my roomate who shit herself?",AITA for telling people my roommate pooped her pants,NTA
10x0sqz,"  I (34m) agreed a month ago to let my son (8m) spend four weeks with my mother (58f) in South Carolina this summer.My son and I visited my mother recently. My mom lives 4 hours away. It’s a different state, so not close, but not too far. Although I grew up religious (Evangelical Christian) I am no longer. I'm open about that fact with my family. My son is exploring the idea of religion, which is fine by me because I know it can bring comfort. My mother is very religious. She's had a rough life (much of her own making) and clings to religion like a lifeboat.During our visit, my mom invited my kid to church. Son said yes and I said ok. When my son came back I asked him what he learned in church that morning. My son said he learned he needed to protect himself “from the evil people in the world”. My mother clarified that the sermon was on guarding against doubt. I then asked my son ""who are the evil people?"". And then he said ""Evil people are people who don't believe.""Well my mom was quick to jump in to say ""Wait, no no. That's not what they said."" I don't know, but it was clear that's the message he received. I didn't say anything at the time because I didn't know what to say, but I was not happy thinking my kid was being taught that I and people like me are evil for not being Christian.A few days later I decided to rescind my approval to let my son spend a month with my mom this summer. I think it would be wrong of me to tell my mother she can't go to church while looking after my kid. She would either have to skip church for that whole month or leave my kid alone at her house for two or three hours each Sunday. My mother also has a track record of asking forgiveness rather than approval and not telling me things. She pretends I didn’t say anything, she didn't understand, or that she forgot, or if those excuses don't work, say ""it's not a big deal."" So I think she would take my kid to church even if I said no to it.I also justified my decision to rescind based on my mom's boyfriend. She's broken up with him multiple times now because of his anger issues. But she keeps going back to him. I don't want my kid around him without me. My mom won't stand up for herself around him. I know because my dad and stepdad were the same way and my mom's choices exposed me to a childhood filled with emotional abuse. I don’t want that for my son.Anyway, now my kid is sad. My mother is telling me I made her cry, I'm taking away her grandkid, and she can't understand how I would do this to her.  Basically, she’s calling me the AH. AITA?Note: Yes, my mom is welcome to stay at my house this summer. She's welcome any time.",AITA For Changing My Mind and Not Allowing My Kid to Spend a Month With My Mom?,NTA
10xixny,"Some back story. My husband was laid off April 2022. His base pay was 125k, mine is 114k. He was recently offered a job but significant pay cut. While he was laid off I sold my car for extra money and to get rid of the payment (609/mo) and lower insurance. He has an SUV and a motorcycle ($1100/mo). We don't have much for savings left and now have a good chunk of credit card debt to pay off. I have been very lucky that I have been able to borrow one of my dad's cars but is only a matter of time before he wants it back. He has no intention of selling the bike or finding a more affordable vehicle for himself and I feel that even when he starts working and we pay down debt that there would really be money for a vehicle for me. I dont ride motorcycles. Both of us wfh and we have a daughter in daycare. I also gave up our maid service, meal delivery kits, and other subscriptions. I also do most of the housework and cooking. So am I the asshole for wanting us to each have a more reasonable vehicle? He says yes bc he says he considers his car to be the family car. We do usually take his car to pick up and drop off my daughter but I don't usually take his car if it's just me going somewhere. Am I just being selfish and jealous?",AITA: I told my husband I feel like I am lowest priority,NTA
10xeyyl,"I(32F) own a house with my husband (35M) and our two small children. My husband’s youngest brother (26M) and his girlfriend (26F) live in our basement apartment and pay a minimalamount of rent. Generally, things have been fine the last three years they have lived with us—no complaints. We love them and all keep to ourselves.However, eight months ago BIL started a band and they have practice at our house a few times a month. It’s not bad, they’re talented musicians. But, we don’t want to hear whatever genre they’ve decided on when we’re just existing as a family in the evenings. Our house is old, so it’s as loud as you’d expect/similar to an apartment neighbor playing loud music. Now every time I see instruments getting carried in, I get so anxious and irritated because its another source of stimulation. Sometimes it’s not the whole band, it’s just the two them making music. We bought them cute, matching headphones for Christmas but that didn’t register the hint. They both work from home, so it also means this can happen any time, day or night. Thankfully it’s never gone too late. Secondly, “SIL” also thinks incense is great and must be really into it because it wafts up frequently from the floor below. My kids hate it, it gives me a headache and makes my throat hurt. It’s not a great scent and some of our rooms trap it more than others. It sincerely makes me feel ill.But here’s where I’m stuck. It’s their living space. Granted, it’s within mine, but I’m not comfortable asking them to change to our house preferences when they have a right to live as they choose.  I’ve lived like that before and hated having my space controlled by someone else so AITA if I ask band practice to relocate, personal music playing to exclusively be headphones, and for the incense to stop? I readily accept your verdict.",AITA for asking for basement renters to adapt to our preferences?,NTA
10x4dgb,"Names changed for privacy. I (35F) am coming out of a 15 year relationship/marriage. It's been a rough year as my STBX dragged this out as long as possible. I have been living with my dad, but I have finally been granted the ability to buy my own house. This is mostly relevant because I was really looking forward to having my own space to do with as I wanted. Decorate, upgrade paint. I have plans for the extra rooms (a workshop, most importantly). My younger brother Nick (25M) wants to move in with me and bring his son/my nephew Z (5M). (Nephew would be parttime)Mom is helping him with rent, but *only* if he lives in the rental that's a few houses down from her. She goes into his house to ""tidy"" whenever she pleases, then scolds him about how dirty it is and complains to the rest of the family. (To be clear, his house is ""lived in"" but not ""disaster zone"" dirty).Understandably, he decided that he couldn't stay there now that he makes enough to remotely support himself. (He was going through school and low paying internship level jobs before). What he can afford isn't up to my mom and his existing standards for Z because Z would have to share a room with a 10yo (roommate to be kid). Nick put his notice at the rental by mom and planned on moving in with New Roommate. But due to mom and Ex's fussing he's now scrambling for an alternative. I suggested he move back in with dad. Dad lives in a 4 bedroom house. It needs *a lot* of cleanup because dad's house *is* disaster zone dirty. Dad wouldn't charge him rent (or he'd charge him and just save it to give back to him). If he moved in with me, I would charge him rent and I would put it towards the mortgage. But I don't want him to move in with me. He has another option that, while not perfect, is completely workable. WIBTA if I say I want my new house to myself?_Update:_ Thank you all for your help. After his latest message, I replied that I would prefer my own space but I would be happy to help clearing out some of the garbage at dad's. I also reminded him that once I move out, the room I'm in (larger with an en suite) will be available. He hasn't responded yet._Update 2:_ He's replied that its a shit alternative and not a good place for them then asked when I'd have all my stuff out by. :( (I await mom's call/text next)",WIBTA if I don't let my brother and nephew move in with me?,NTA
10x4s89,"I (23F) have suffered from severe hyperpigmentation my entire life. I’m a WOC so after things like an acne flare up or a sunburn, I’m left with severe dark spots/pigmentation for months. About six months ago I decided I was fed up and began looking up more intensive treatments to tackle the issue. I found a treatment that was pharmacy medicine (meaning you need to go into the pharmacy and ask for it first).It worked wonders. My skin is a lot more even and smoother because the cream also exfoliates the skin too. The issue arose when my friend, 23F, asked what I used and I told her. She is also a WOC and is a lot darker than I am and suffers from the same level of hyperpigmentation. Well, she went in and got it and I heard nothing but good things on the product and the difference it made on her skin. Then after three months, radio silence. I assume that maybe she stopped speaking about it because the treatment worked and she decided she didn’t need it anymore.I was wrong.She called me the other night and confronted me on being colourist and bleaching her skin. She said that what I gave her was essentially a skin bleaching cream (the key ingredient is hydroquinone which is found in a lot of skin lightening creams). That her skin had gotten lighter and how I planned it. That it was so hard for her to come and love her dark skin and I ruined everything. And whilst I agreed that the ingredient is often used in illegal skin bleaching creams, this one is a pharmacy medicine and is a safe formula. And on top of that, it is only supposed to be dabbed on the hyperpigmentation spots, not rubbed into the entire face. She told me that I misled her by not informing her about the ingredients and the instructions but I didn’t think that it was my job to tell her to do her research and look on the leaflet of how to apply the cream. I asked a couple of mutual friends and they seem divided. They said that as I have medical training (I’m a recently graduated pharmacist), I should have told her and warned her about the cream. But in terms of what the pharmacy did when they asked me about the cream (Is this for you? Is the problem hyperpigmentation? Okay, use for no longer than this amount of time.) I said all that to her. Others are saying that she should have done her due diligence.So, AITA?EDIT: A lot of people keep asking me for the cream through private DM’s and comments. I feel like adding a picture of the cream will add context, as on the carton of the cream and on the actual cream itself has the ingredients in big writing and their percentages in the product.[The Cream](https://static.chemistwarehouse.com.au/ams/media/pi/53247/3DF_800.jpg)",AITA for ‘knowingly’ bleaching my friends skin?,NTA
10ww4h2,"I (m 60+)  am getting married soon. It's going to be a very small affair with just a handful of people in attendance. Later in the year, we plan to have a big celebration and will be inviting everyone. My closest friend (55m), 'Phil' doesn't know when enough is enough. He's under the impression that he's hilarious, quirky and that everyone loves him. He's self employed, so wears shorts and floral shirts... all year round... in the UK! He says he never feels the cold... yet his legs are blue in the Winter and he's always ill. His shorts wearing is his way of displaying what a rebel he is, yet travels everywhere at 5mph below the speed limit!Over the years we've known each other, he's met 3 of my girlfriends. They've all found him overbearing, childish and offensive, but try to make allowances for him, for my sake. Needless to say, I don't inflict him on them often. He's not perfect - none of us are. I realise he's more like a scared little boy than a grown man and I try to look deeper than a very punchable surface!However... he's always trying to push my buttons to get a reaction. If he can annoy me, he's happy... but he doesn't leave it at that. He will push and push, then get all hurt when I lose my temper. The issue - When I told him about the wedding, he said he'd obviously be wearing his shorts. He said to not wear them would be him being told what to do. I think he was joking, trying to get a reaction. The trouble is, I really can't tell. if I say nothing, it's like giving him permission. If I react, he'll keep pushing it and would most likely turn up in his usual attire, just to make a point. He may not, but his desire to be 'individual' is greater than his sense of occasion. If I don't invite him, he'll be deeply hurt and it will most likely end the friendship... and for all his faults, he has been there for me during some incredible shit in my life. His 'joke' won't go down well with my Fiancé and I really don't want to upset her on our special day.He can come to the big event and dress however he wants... but I can't risk him ruining this one.So, AITA?",AITA for not inviting my closest friend to my wedding?,NTA
10xc67n,"This happened a while ago, but my brain won't stop obsessing about it, so... My child (4) was recently diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. One of the traits is that he is ALWAYS moving. Running, jumping, climbing, flailing, etc. The only time he's not hyperactive is when he's asleep or watching TV (and even then, sometimes). We live in an upstairs apartment. I tried to get a downstairs one, but somebody took it, so I got stuck upstairs. (This was before my son was diagnosed.)One day, I come home and find a note from the downstairs neighbors saying, ""I know you have a young kid, but he's banging the roof at all hours, can you please stop.""1) my kid goes to bed at 8:30, 9pm at the latest. So it's within noise ordinance rules. He is at school or daycare a good portion of the rest of the time. 2) I have attempted to tell my kid to stop jumping pretty much constantly. He listens once, then forgets and does it again 2 minutes later. Am I supposed to just tell him to stop jumping every two minutes for months? Trust me, I'd like it to stop too! 3) He's autistic, so asking him to stop moving is distressing and can cause a meltdown that's even worse than the jumping. Moving is how he regulates himself.4) I take him outside as often as possible to let him run out his energy, but it doesn't matter - he seems to have endless energy. I can have him run for an hour and he'll still spend hours jumping.Since I got this note, I spend way too much time being conscious of my son's noise, which has increased my anxiety. I even got him a damn indoor trampoline, so whenever he jumps, I tell him to jump on the trampoline instead. With mixed results - sometimes he keeps jumping on other stuff anyway, and there's nothing I can do, besides keep on yelling at him or put him in a time out, which I don't feel is appropriate, since I'm punishing him for doing normal kid stuff that he needs to do.For Christmas, I put a card on their door ""thanking"" them for their ""patience"" with my autistic son's noise. I feel that I've done everything in my power here - AITA?",AITA for having a hyperactive ASD child on the second floor?,YTA
10xj89g,"My boyfriend has a very messy financial history. He is just plain bad with money even. He has a credit card, but it's maxed out and he only puts enough for the minimum payment on it so there's never any actual credit room to use it.​My boyfriend regularly asks me to do things for him via my credit card and he immediately reimburses me. He goes to school so he will regularly ask me to order him an Uber using my credit card. When I tell him the amount he transfers the cash to me. It's the same with UberEats or an amazon order etc etc.​This doesn't seem like a big deal (and it wouldn't be if it were a once in a while thing), but it's regularly. Many times a week. And I just find it time consuming and irritating. He'll ask me to order him an uber so I have to change the pick up and drop off (we don't live together). Or he'll send me a screenshot of his food order and I'll have to enter it in UberEats (and change the delivery address). I don't want to just give him my credit card number because I've done that before and he and his daughter (they share accounts) end up using it randomly and not realizing it's mine. Last time his daughter put $150 from an Amazon order on my credit card because it was linked up to their account.​I don't want to give him my credit card number and I am tired of being the secretary for all these things. Plus honestly it gives me a bit of anxiety because he's in school, pretty broke a lot of the time, and spending way too much on Ubers and UberEats instead of just buying some groceries and taking public transit.​So would I be an asshole for telling him he can't use my card anymore?​tldr: I don't want to be the middle-man for when my boyfriend needs to use my credit card even though he gives me money for it.",AITA for refusing to allow my boyfriend to continue using my credit card (even though he immediately sends me the money)?,NTA
10xedsb,"I(18M) have a morning routine, which is basically waking up at 5:30, making my bed, working out, and working on my businesses for half an hour before heading to class. The problem is, my roommate has class much later than me so he sleeps in a lot. He gets mad at me for waking up earlier than he does since the walls are paper thin between our rooms and it wakes him up. He claims that he is losing out on precious sleep he could get while I'm already awake ""selfishly"" doing my routine. I asked him what I could do to solve this problem and not wake him up(I was seething since he called me selfish but my older sister taught me to be reasonable at first with roommates). He asked me to not do my morning routine.  I replied with, ""Yeah, right, no way I'm doing that"". This routine made me a better person so I wasn't going to stop doing it. I said to my roommate since I'm not going to  stop doing it at the very least I would do it a little quieter. Now I've made my alarm a little more quiet and get off my bed slowly so it doesn't creek. I also now go workout in the gym the college provided us. Then, when working on my businesses on my laptop, I turn off all the lights in the kitchen and put my laptop on a low light setting and type quietly.He says it's still waking him up and asked me why I don't just stop. I provided him the reason I put in the paragraph above and that if it still wakes him up, I don't know what to do and that I've done what I can. He called me a selfish asshole and now doesn't talk to me. He didn't pay rent for January(presumably out of spite), which was due yesterday but luckily sales were doing well and I paid his share out of pocket.So, AITA for waking him up with my morning routine?",AITA for waking up roommate with my morning routine?,NTA
10xoph7,"I (36f) am getting married to G (40m) our wedding is coming up in 9 months (We have been dating for 24 months) and I am having 6 brides maids my friends and my sister. However when I told G and future stepdaughter (16f I have known future step daughter for 18 months but we have never really got on well even though I have done girls weekends with her and stuff like that) they asked me why she wasn’t a bridesmaid. I told her that I planned on having six and only having my oldest friends who I have known since I was 5 and my sister. She got really angry at this and G took her side saying that it would help me bond with her and so on. I told some friends what happened and they agree with G. AITA?Edit: A lot of people have been saying she should be on the wedding party and she, is with our parents.",AITA for refusing to have my future step daughter as my bridesmaid?,NTA
10wwf37,"Hello asshole enthusiasts. My parents recently shared their last will and testament plans with us. The only asset they have of serious value is the house in London that they own with a mortgage on it (more on this later), rough estimates put value at about £600k. The will states that the house is to be split between the three of us, myself and my two sisters. My older sister and myself both live in our own properties that we were only able to purchase thanks to financial assistance from our parents re-mortgaging their house (to the tune of £70k, £35k each). This money is currently being paid back, by my sister and myself, and the agreement is that if our parents pass before the money is paid back then the remainder will come out of our share of the inheritance when the house is sold.After hearing about needing to sell the house, when our parents pass, my little sister has gotten very difficult about the whole situation. It seems like it's come as a shock to her, despite this being the plan for the past 6 years or so, we only spoke about it verbally and she was included in the discussions, it seems as though now it's in writing though it's more real for her? I mean, my parents are early seventies so hopefully they won't pass for a number of years yet but it is a possibility and I thought it would be better to discuss it as a family before they pass.When we said, obviously we would need to sell the house to pay for the inheritance tax and the mortgage etc... my little sister said she would not agree to that as she can't afford to buy a house in London and even with the money from the house sale she would not be able to get a mortgage in London on her partners salary alone (she doesn't work). I said, ""Maybe you'll have to live outside London then, or get a job?"" thinking that was a sensible solution, I'd love to live in London but I can't, so I moved outside London, I'm actually happier for it now, but again, another story... My little sister flipped out saying she has her life in London and her kids are in school in London and that she would not leave the house. I tried reasoning with her by saying how will we pay the inheritance tax on the house and she just said ""I don't care, but you can't sell the house with tenants in it unless they agree to leave and I will not agree to leave"". So then my older sister and I said, as the two thirds majority in this scenario we will evict you. At this point my little sister left the talks crying and hasn't spoken to either of us since. My parents think it was an asshole move to tell her that we would evict her but I don't see any other option here and I'd rather discuss this before the event so everyone knows the plan and has time to prepare for it. So reddit, AITA?",AITA for telling my sister we would need to evict her to pay inheritance tax?,NTA
10xflbf,"I'm nearly 19, and I've been growing my hair out for nine months now. Personally, I prefer it this way. It's curly, it's fluffy, and I look a lot better overall. I also take good care of it by brushing it and applying shampoos/conditioner and whatnot. Well, I wish my mom shared the same sentiment, because earlier she made a joke about how long my hair is. I didn't really mind it, she has made harmless jabs like that before and they're always in good spirits.Well, I wish that lasted. When I went to the kitchen, she bluntly said ""You're getting a haircut"". She already had her phone out, so I knew she wasn't kidding. I told her it's *my* hair and that I'm a grown adult with their own income, but she didn't want to hear it. All she told me was ""I don't care"" as she continued booking an appointment for me. My dad, who usually tries to side with me in situations like this, was trying to defuse any further comments I had. And before I knew it, they started guilt tripping me (""I pay good money for your haircuts!"", ""Some kids aren't fortunate enough to..."", etc).It pissed me off, but there's really no turning back because I already know within a few days from now, my hair's gonna go from curly to a buzzcut that'll make me look like a deformed peanut M&M.AITA? Part of me feels a bit bad for getting heated at them, but it's not the only time my mom has been controlling, and I can name so many worse examples. I'd rather spare you the trouble though.",AITA for refusing to get a haircut even though my mom wants me to?,NTA
10xectx,"This is choppy sorryWhen we met gf was running her own restaurant & worked most of the day. I work in a factory. It pays way better than owning a business & after we were together for a year she moved into my house. My ex has our daughters most of the time but they spend weekends & some of their breaks with me. gf's always been nice to my girls so it was all good.Restaurant shut down during covid & never reopened. gf got really depressed. Not that she said she was depressed but mental illness runs in my family. It took my mom & my sister from me I've had my own issues with it & I recognize the symptoms. No motivation, not caring about hygiene, weight loss, she wasn't sleepingetc. She started snapping at my girls when they were being too loud.I make enough money to support us so her not having a job isn't a problem. The problem started with her not doing any upkeep. The house would get dirty, she would order food all the time & leave whatever she didn't eat on the coffee table until I moved it or it started to smell bad. She would move from the couch to the bed. She only left for groceries. The only thing she did was go see her brother on wednesday.I was getting really worried about her.So a few months ago I started trying to invite her to do things with me. Date nights, movies, play board games, walks or shopping trips. My dog Lacey is getting pretty heavy & could use the extra exercise. I know that depression can't be cured with yoga but  doing nothing only makes it worseShe wasn't interested, & when I mentioned Lacey she snapped at me to get a dog walker since I could afford it.I told her that if me making most of our money bothered her she could try to go back to work. That started a fight because she thought I was calling her lazy.I told her I don't think she's lazy, I think she's depressed and she needs to do something to help herself.She denied it, said I was projecting, & slept on the couch. I waited a few days for us to calm down & approached her about talking to someone.At that point she started screaming that she wasn't crazy like my 'dead end family' & she didn't need and' pill popping doctor to drug her up for me'.I said she needed to do something. I can't keep up with everything. gf can't keep snapping at my daughters. She told me that she hoped they ended up like my mom.I told her we were done & she had to move out. She agreed we were done but refused & told me to go.So I did.When she went to her brothers house I had the locks changed.She got home & realized what I did. I told her she could come in to collect her things & she had a meltdown in the front yard. She screamed at me and drove off. Her brother called me because she went back to his house & asked what I was doing.I told him I understand that she's struggling but she crossed a line & I can't live with her anymore. They told my sister and she won't talk to me now.",AITA for changing the locks?,NTA
10xmjot,"My (F22) boyfriend (M22) is a gamer. I occasionally play a few games but not to extent that he does. As most gamers do, he rages a lot. Especially during League of Legends. I absolutely hate it. We’ve been together nearly 4 years and are currently long distance for school so we sit in Discord calls during our free time and chat, watch YouTube, shows, or movies, and occasionally play games. I have told him numerous times I hate sitting here listening to him yell and scream over League and I’d prefer he get in a call with the friends he’s playing with instead of making me sit here and endure it but he doesn’t want to since he wants to “spend time with me” even if we are sitting here doing nothing. I especially hate how he lets these games affect his mood. Before a match he will be super cheery and laughing in a good mood, then he’ll get on League and let it absolutely destroy his mood and continue to let it affecting him for the rest of the night making it impossible for us to even talk without him sounding like a child who just found out Santa isn’t real. He was playing League again today, yelling and screaming about how everyone in his game is a “f*cking idiot” and I just had enough. I muted myself and took my headphones out and just scrolled on Instagram for a while. After about 15 minutes, presumably when his match ended, he messaged me asking if I went somewhere. I got back on the call and told him no, I’m just tired of listening to you yell. He got upset and called me “f*cking rude” then hung up and went on Do Not Disturb. He isn’t responding but I see him active in a mutual server. Not really sure what to do. AITA?",AITA for muting and removing my headphones?,NTA
10xmviq,"So my boyfriend and I live with his brother and his brothers girlfriend. We alternate days to cook dinner for everyone, so my boyfriend will cook, his brother, me, then his girlfriend. Then on weekends it’s a free for all and we all will make food for ourselves or eat out or what not. We like this because we are all very close to each other and we see cooking and feeding each other as a form of love. This was all and well until recently when my brother in law became SUPER specific about his diet. He has kind of let up on the diet now, but he will only eat organic foods. My boyfriend and I will make dinner with all organic ingredients so that he is able to eat it. It works out fine because we will basically only buy the meat and veggies and use all of their pantry items, it is more expensive than normal but I am trying to accommodate him.Well, my mom lives near farmlands and she was showing me a farm near her house with goats. The owner of the farm saw us and invited us to see his livestock and garden. He then told us he sells fresh meats, eggs and diary products. I bought a whole chicken and a couple of other things and decided to make chicken noodle soup. I was very proud of the chicken too because I thought my boyfriends brother would like that it was super fresh (that’s another thing he is picky about, his food has to be fresh).I made dinner and during dinner I told him where I got the chicken. He got SUPER upset and said that just because it’s a farmers animal doesn’t mean it’s organic, and that it depends on the food and everything he feeds them. He also said buying ingredients from a random farmer is much worse than buying any nonorganic food from the grocery store and I might as well have made it with that. I’m kind of upset because he acted like I poisoned him or something. I feel like I didn’t do anything wrong because I didn’t know, but I also feel like I should have looked it up.",AITA for buying a nonorganic chicken for my brother in law?,NTA
10xnzd3,"I (28F) used to live in the same town as my brother, let's call him Sam (26M). About two years ago, he got back together with his gf from college, let's call her Jenny (26F). Jenny was pregnant at the time, and has since had adorable baby Josie who is 18 months old now. Sam has been in Josie's life from the start, initially out of wanting to support Jenny, but then after a while, just out of love for Josie, and now thinks of her as his daughter. Josie's bio dad knows about her but wants nothing to do with her, and to my knowledge at least has not made contact with Jenny since she told him she was pregnant.Now, the problem. All this time, Sam had told our parents that he and Jenny were back together, but hadn't mentioned Josie at all. My parents really like Jenny, at least from what they know of from college, and were thrilled. Sam and Jenny recently got engaged and my parents went to visit them unannounced and got shocked to see Josie there. First they thought she was Sam's bio daughter and were naturally devastated.  A few days later, they found out the whole truth. They were angry at me as well for not telling them the truth from the start, seeing as I knew everything, but they are super judgy people, and I completely understood Sam's apprehension about telling them.Now, it's been about two weeks and they're still super pissed. They say that they like Jenny as a person, but they can never accept Josie as their granddaughter. They found out that she calls me Auntie and were furious that I was letting Sam and Jenny fool her like this. While I think they should tell her at some point the whole truth, I think 18 months is just too young. So, AITA for not exposing my brother's lies and treating the baby like my ""real"" niece?",AITA for not intervening in my brother's relationship with my parents,NTA
10xgq2s,"I live with two other women in a on campus college apartment. We share a living room, kitchen, one large bedroom and the bathroom. I lived with (let's call her Jamie) Jamie last year in a small dorm with communal bathrooms.We recently met a new roommate this year by campus random roommate enrollment and let's call her Emma. Emma and I have become close friends because Jamie is very snotty. She ignores us and is very curt with her answers and also indirectly insulted both of us several times.  Also, Emma and I both have a LOT of similar interests and we communicate very often. Emma and I will ask if either of us needs the bathroom and we communicate about how to adjust to each other's needs while living. Emma and I are so fed up by Jamie's treatment towards us we sometimes rant about her to each other and express relief when she leaves for the entire weekend (most every weekend)Jamie was very messy last year and never listened to me asking her if she could please clean up after herself as I was frazzled and upset by keeping after her endless snack crumbs on our floor (and my carpet I brought). This year, she preached she was clean to the new roommate but continues to be messy in front of me and actively cleaning in front of Emma. I put a sticker note over the toilet to ask to clean up the seat once finished. Jamie remarked this was passive aggressive even though she's never around for me to actually tell her face to face and last year she never abided by my dms and kept telling me ""If I make a mess, please let me know"". To which I replied ""If you make a mess, I expect you to know and clean it up yourself as we're both adults.""Today Jamie left an ungodly DISGUSTING sh*t in the toilet and left. She didn't leave the fan on and I almost threw up once I smelled it in the kitchen. She ran out of the apartment right away leaving me in disgust. I've never wanted to throw up from a smell before. I go into the bathroom holding my breath and turned on the fan and nuked it with febreeze. I saw she left a poo smear on the toilet seat so I grabbed the bleach wipes (ALWAYS ON THE BACK OF THE TOILET) and whipped it clean. I threw it away and in a fit of rage I typed to our group chat (ONLY JAMIE AND EMMA IN SAID GROUP CHAT). ""@ Jamie fyi if you could clean up the toilet seat when you're done that'd be awesome ✧⁠◝⁠(⁠⁰⁠▿⁠⁰⁠)⁠◜⁠✧""I unsent it because my boyfriend said he'd be so embarrassed if someone sent that and I should tell her I'm sorry. TLDR: Am I the asshole for exposing my roommate in the group chat hoping maybe then she'd start to clean up after herself?",AITA for shaming my roommate in our shared Instagram group?,NTA
10xjevr,"Kind of a silly one. I (36F) bought myself my favorite ice cream today as I’ve had a rough week. Someone hacked my debit card and took roughly $900, plus I’m having a period from hell. My Bf Kevin (39 M) and I live together, he has 2 kids that live with us half the time. Kevin came home and saw my ice cream and exclaimed ooo ice cream! I told him yes I got myself some. Fast forward to him coming home from his 13 yo sons basketball game and he went to the kitchen. I walked in to greet him and he said I’m giving my son ice cream, he deserves it. I felt sad and replied oh. Kevin then got defensive and said don’t make this a bad thing he did good tonight at the game and he deserves to have ice cream. I told him I wish he would ask me before taking my ice cream. I have no problem with his son having some but I prefer to be asked. Kevin got upset and said it’s ridiculous that he needs permission. That I never ask before I have the kids stuff. ( I do ask. I rarely even have something of theirs as I am trying to lose weight and this ice cream was a treat) The whole conversation was him trying to tell me I never ask for permission and throwing it back at me. I don’t think it’s unreasonable as I view it as polite. I do all the grocery shopping and get treats specific to each person. I have even had to hide my low calorie drinks as they get taken and all that’s left is super sugary drinks or seltzer (I don’t like seltzer and have bladder issues where carbonation is an issue). AITA here?",AITA for wanting to asked permission before my BF takes my food?,NTA
10x4af5,"Apologies for the list of dates..My former roommate moved out in August of 2022, and I gave her until the end of the year to get the rest of her stuff. She came up in October and grabbed some clothes and her bathroom toiletries along with one of her favorite mugs.She then texted me in October that her grandma had passed and she needed more time because she was grieving. I understand completely, so I gave her until the end of January 2023. She has gone LC with me and I found out from a mutual friend of ours that her grandma didn't pass at all and is doing fine and is healthy for an 88 year old woman. So I tried calling her and she didn't answer.It's now past both the end of December 2022 and January 2023. WIBTA if I started selling and donating all of her stuff and items she has left in the house? At this point in time  she is using me for free storage and I cannot put a clothes dryer in my backroom next to my washing machine because of how much she has left.I plan on sending her a text telling her that unless she starts actively moving her stuff, I will start selling and donating whatever I find that's hers. It's been 6 months since she left out and I feel I've given her more than enough time to gather all of her thingsWIBTA?UPDATE: Thank you for the advice! I am going to give her until the end of March (simply because I am too nice of a person) and I am going to start gathering her things and cataloging everything I find in a notebook. That way she can't accuse me of taking anything for myself. I am going to arrange it neatly in the backroom where most of it is and send her the list of everything I found. April 1st -if she still has stuff here- then I will start selling/donating whatever else I find that she hasn't gotten. Thank you again!!",WIBTA if I sold/donated my former roommates stuff?,NTA
10x8lw6,"I (32 f) just got done defending my cousin (34 f) from her dead beat baby daddy. She got pregnant 10 months ago and he blocked her on all social media, made her go through the pregnancy completely alone, and when the baby was born 1 month ago, he did not come to the hospital and has yet to see his child, yet had no problem asking her for sex last week. When I complained about him to our family, saying I confronted him through DM on social media, one of my uncles laughed and joked that's why he's not on social media. I rolled my eyes, but said nothing, because this particular uncle, while I love him, has 5 kids with 3 different women and has dodged child support from them for years. When my mom (his sister), grandma (his mother), and I were alone, I mentioned how disgusting I think he and my cousins situations are. And that I don't get why as women, they never gave him a hard time for not being there financially or physically for all the families he's started and they got angry at me. They made excuse after excuse for him, blaming the women for him not being around. My mom then tried to slut shame me and say that the men in our family are ""far less promiscuous"" than me. Btw, I have no children and I'm getting married soon. I got angry and called them both enablers for turning a blind eye to the reckless behavior of the men in our family. I told them that they are partially to blame for all the broken homes the men in our family have created. They are angry with me and won't talk to me at all. Part of me thinks I was wrong to stir the pot. So tell me, AITA?",AITA for calling my family enablers?,NTA
10x73co,"Me and my siblings families went on a little road trip to visit our parents during the kids winter break. My sister and her husband had to leave a day early. Her older son wanted to stay longer, so she asked if he could ride back with me since I live right by them.As we were leaving the next day my brother's daughter, Ashley, says she wants to ride in the cool car (I had just gotten a brand new car earlier that month) too. I said I didn't think that would be a good idea. The reason being that Ashley gets carsick. This was not a onetime thing. It happens practically anytime she is in a car. My brother and sister in law did come prepared with sick bags, but it happens suddenly so she misses the bag and spews chunks everywhere. Seriously this kid must projectile vomit or something because my brother was cleaning the back and front seats of his car when we got to our parents.My brother was not happy with my answer and said I was putting my new car over my nieces feeling. He said that since I'm a dad I need to get over it and get used to having a messy park. I admit I've always had a strong preference for keeping things clean and tidy, but I'm not the sort of person that gets upset if there's a mess by accident. Like I understand it happens, but I think it's okay to avoid it. It's almost not even an accident when you know it's going to happen. Plus vomit is a lot grosser to clean up than something like a spilled drink. It was also super cold outside so when she puked we would have been forced to drive with the windows open and freeze or deal with the smell.In the end I didn't budge and my niece had a fit because she didn't get to ride with us. My brother brought it up passive aggressively last weekend which bothered me. Also my niece did end up puking at least once on the ride home.",AITA for not letting my niece ride in my car because she gets carsick?,NTA
10xnb8l,"I've owned and operated my own Cinema for nearly 10 years, like many people who operate their own businesses i've faced issues the last few years especially during the pandemic but thankfully we've survived so far. As our 10th anniversary is coming up i've decided to host a special charity event with a Video Game Tournament where the winner will get 50 free tickets they can redeem at any movie at any point in the year. The cost to enter is £20 per person and all proceeds will be going to a local charity that supports the recovery of addicts, a thing near and dear to my heart after I lost my sister to drugs. I was talking to one of my regulars about this, she and her son come to the cinema every Wednesday as it's part of their routine and with his additional support needs routine is very important to them. I was just gossiping and sharing my plans for this when I revealed that the charity day would be on May 24th, she did a quick check and turns out it's on a Wednesday. She asked me if i'd be doing normal movie screenings on one screen as the cinema has two screens and I explained that i'd originally been planning to have it set up in both rooms, I felt awful about this though and told her i'd happily give her and her son a voucher for a free movie showing in apology for this inconvenience but she wasn't happy.She asked that I change it to the Tuesday or Thursday instead which I tried to explain wasn't possible as i'd begun to arrange it already and it'd be a hassle to change it plus the 24th was our literal anniversary. She began to say how I didn't care about people with additional needs and ""how upset my son would be when he couldn't come to the cinema he's used to on a Wednesday"", I made it clear they were welcome to join in the tournament but that  there'd be no movies showing.I won't lie I was quite upset with these accusations of a lack of care because I ensure that I have a quiet screening every monday, wednesday and sunday to help support people with additional needs this is ontop of my baby/toddler screenings so people can bring their young children to movies on tuesdays and fridays and not worry about disturbing people with their children being loud. I've tried to ensure i've always been considerate of people and for a regular who I thought knew me better than that to make such an accusation it hurt.this has been eating away at me though and I can't help but feel guilty for the upset that is likely going to happen as a result of this, am I the asshole for not budging?",AITA for refusing to host my Cinema's charity event on a different day?,NTA
10xlo8p,"I work as a nanny on Mondays from 8-5, and in a medical office Tuesday through Friday, from about 6:30-4:30. I have a fiancé who lives with me. He doesn’t work. He plays video games a lot, likes to go for walks and makes dinner for when I get home. I have mentioned a few times that I could really use some more help around the house while I’m at work (cleaning, doing laundry, cleaning the kitchen/ dishes and maybe even deep cleaning… doing the windows and mirrors, maybe dusting, maybe cleaning the oven or wiping down the kitchen cabinets, deep cleaning the bathroom, just random stuff) What I explained to him most recently is that I need him to take some of the “mental load” from me and make it his own. Like maybe on Monday- Friday his “job” can be tackling house chores and any little extras he could think of. This way, I could get home from work and just KNOW that all those tasks were done. And I didn’t have to unload the dishwasher, or start a load of laundry or fold the laundry he took out of the dryer and left on the bed, or clean the bathroom. And then to top it all off, on the weekends we could actually go places or do things because we wouldn’t be stuck at home while I frantically deep clean the whole house. If I ASK him to do a task, it generally gets done with no issue, or if I make him a list he will generally get the list done.But my issue and the problem is that, all those things that I have to write down on the list or have to ask him specifically to do they stay in my mental load. So now I’m sitting around every week taking time, trying to see what around the house needs to get done, knowing that if I don’t ask, it probably won’t get done. What I’m not understanding is… why can’t he be the one to look around and see what needs to get done and then take the initiative and just do it without me ever having to ask him. So am I the asshole?",AITA for asking my non-working fiancé to tackle household chores while I’m at work?,NTA
10xcahf,"I've (25F) been with my girlfriend (23F) for two years. I am on the autism spectrum, she is neurotypical. Due to being autistic, my brain doesn't learn or do stuff as fast as others. I have a harder time picking up on social cues. If someone gives me a list of verbal directions all at once, I'm not going to remember all of it. I have to work around it by taking notes. It takes me longer than average to do things most would consider basic, like washing dishes, because I am also a perfectionist and focus on the details. My girlfriend knows that I have autism but I don't think she really gets that it's a long term disability. I go to therapy and do what I can to manage it but social interactions are always going to be a struggle for me and masking wears me out. But she wants me to mask all the time and gets angry when I can't do it. I know I fuck up a good amount, but I feel bad enough when I do it and I don't need her calling me stupid, a child, immature, or an idiot. I do think she's right about those things I am immature and not that smart, but I already know that about myself. I just snapped at her a couple days ago when we were shopping at the store and I had to check us out. I wasn't looking at the cashier too much and forgot to smile as much as I was supposed to. Afterwards I felt embarrassed and like a total asshole. She of course started to complain that I didn't make eye contact with the cashier and that I ""act like a child"" and I snapped. I basically said that I feel she is never happy with me and she wants me to not be autistic but that I can't. Now she's ignoring me.",AITA for snapping at my girlfriend?,NTA
10xou71,"One night I turned on the dryer at 1am and found a note on my door the next day saying not to run the dryer at night because it makes a lot of noise. I got management to take a look at the dryer but they said nothing they could do noise wise, it was fine. So I just avoided running it at night. 11 MONTHS later, I had come back from a trip and needed to run the dryer. It was 11pm, neighbor comes down immediately and tells me to turn it off. I explain the situation and say I could turn it off in 40 minutes. Neighbor says that doesn’t work for him, it would be better if I turn it off now. Said I didn’t want my clothes ruined, keeping it on. I didn’t turn it off. Am I the asshole?",AITA for not turning off the dryer?,YTA
10xlzz6,"I (F32) work for a large multinational. I manage the local team who perform the core business functions, but periphery employees work alongside my team despite their reporting line going outside of the country. It is quite a complicated setup, but it basically means I only have hiring and firing power over my core team despite overseeing the entire office.I came back from maternity leave this Monday, but while I was gone, a new periphery employee (M35ish) started. I had met him once virtually during his interview process, but it was mostly as a courtesy to me rather than me having much decision making power. He did know, however, that I oversee local operations.Since going back to work, I have discovered that I cannot stand him. Unfortunately, the industry attracts a certain type of egotistical person sometimes, and he is a cookie cutter of the stereotype. Matt is a know it all and incredibly arrogant, to the point where he will openly dispute facts and make you second guess yourself based on his assertive behaviour. He has also actively undermined others in meetings despite being wrong. His boss (F40ish) gave me an unrelated call yesterday, and on a side note, asked how Matt was doing. Now I understand I have only known him for a few days, and I didn't want to be unfair. I told his boss that I hadn't reviewed any of his work yet, and would not make a judgement until I can see the quality of his output.A separate colleague (M30ish) overheard the conversation as he was waiting outside my closed office door to have a discussion with me. He told me afterwards that I was not being transparent with Matt's boss, and that Matt was actively making everyone's job harder. He said that I need to come clean (as if I were keeping a secret) and tell the truth. I told him I was trying to give Matt a chance, and be diplomatic, but he said that was not the spirit of the question.I don't want to cause problems for my own staff, but I also want to give Matt a chance to settle in and get over his new starter gitters just in case he isn't actually insufferable. Was I the AH for not answering honestly?",AITA for trying to be diplomatic and not being transparent?,NTA
10xltr3,"AITA for not inviting my nephew to my wedding?I’m (33f) marrying my fiancé (33m) this spring, and we decided to have a child-free wedding. My uncle asked me to let him bring his son, but I was clear that it’s a child-free wedding and allowing him to bring his son wouldn’t be fair to our other guests with children. It took some time, but he accepted this. About two months ago, I found out my fiancé’s brother (BIL) and his wife (SIL) asked my fiancé if we can make an exception and allow them to bring their son (he’ll be almost 1.5 years on the wedding date). We reiterated that it’s a child-free wedding, and I explained how my uncle would be incredibly hurt if we made an exception for their child but not for his. My uncle would probably cut ties with me over this, and I explained this. (I don’t think him cutting ties with me would be right, but it is a very real possibility and I don’t want that to happen.) SIL seemed upset and she expressed how she thought my fiancé and I were closer to her son than this. I reiterated that it has nothing to do with our relationship with her son and everything to do with how damaging it would be to my relationship with my uncle. And to be honest, I genuinely don’t think it’s fair to the rest of our guests with children. It feels like playing favorites.I thought things were settled after the conversation, but I found out today that BIL and SIL are still hurt. I feel guilty, but I also believe that asking for a child-free wedding and being consistent across the board isn’t wrong. AITA for holding firm on this?Why I think I’m the a-hole: We aren’t allowing our nephew (someone we’re meant to be close with and love dearly) attend our wedding despite his parents being hurt over it.",AITA for not inviting my nephew to my wedding?,NTA
10xngxw,"I'll preface by saying this, my parents are genuinely good people, good for each other? Probably not.I21M), come from a family where every kind of hardship you can imagine, we've faced. I'm not poor by any means, but in my childhood, we kind of were. Now onto the issue, my parents each have trauma of their, and I'm talking about serious trauma, which, they never got the help for. They were good people(still are), who were betrayed by their family, friends, and even strangers. Now this has caused rifts between them, and those rifts have created collisions, very often. Nothing physical at all, just lot of words from both sides. This has been going on since I was a child. They fight, I mediate,which I know is wrong now. I had to be a support system for both my parents and their trauma. For an example, I used to get bullied a lot, but I could never tell my parents, I used to wipe my tears, clean myself up, and just try to resolve whatever was going on between them, this was, not overy often, but still had a constant frequency. When I left home for college, I realised coming here, what is the meaning of being treated your age. In my home, I was a child, treated like a man, here, even if everything was not fun, I still found it an environment where I didn't feel suffocated. Then come the lockdown, where I had to return to my home. While everyone celebrated going home, I dreaded it. Then, came the fights, more vicious, more toxicity, there was never a physical aspect to it, which I don't know why I am specifying it. There used to be times, wherein, due to stress I ripped my hair out, used to cry in fetal position and used to mediate their fights, trying to make them understand each other's prespective. My parents would see me in such a state, apologise and then it would repeat. When lockdown ended, I made a promise to never go back ever again for my sake. In the past 2 years, I've visited them for a week, I've reduced me calling them(I used to do it thrice a day, to make sure they are not at each other's throat or their health is ok).Since then, I've been told by them, that I've changed, I'm not the ideal son I was anymore and more and more such things. I suffer from effects of their fighting, Whenever I see someone fighting,I start shivering, having migraines, and somehow, my brain just freezes and gives me flashbacks of the times when my parents used to fight. I plan to do therapy, once I'm financially independent, because this story is just a part, I have faced a lot more from many people.So, onto the question, my mother called me and asked me why aren't I coming for holidays, I simply told her the truth, and now she is mad at me. I feel guilty, as they are old and have no one else(I do have an older sister). So, am I the asshole, for not visiting them more often?P.S : I apologise for the wall of text, haven't really told anyone this for years, once I started, there was no stopping",AITA for not visiting parents more often?,NTA
10xibao,"My wife has handled our finances for our whole marriage. We both have great jobs, but always seem to struggle financially. I always attributed this to the cost of raising children, but recently, due to some digging I had done when I found out she had been talking to another guy daily, I found out she has taken out numerous payday loans and cash advances, totaling thousands of dollars in recent years behind my back. In addition to that, she has defaulted on several credit cards. Once she figured out I was going through her phone, she changed her password. All of the sudden one day, she asked me to bring home all of my pay stubs from work and didn’t really give me a reason.I refused, and we had a pretty serious fight.Eventually, we came up with the compromise that I would give them to her if she took the password off her phone.She agreed, so I brought them to her. But all of the sudden, she refuses to change her password, saying she has a right to privacy with nothing to hide.Am I wrong for not trusting her?",AITA For not trusting my wife,NTA
10xjcbu,"So our housecleaner has been coming since mid-December, almost every week, but sometimes every other week.  We live in a rural area.  Housekeeper wanted (and we paid him) $25/hr plus tip, usually an additional $25-$50. They would stay between three to five hours, depending on what was getting cleaned. Never had a single complaint. The home is less than 2000 sq feet, with the biggest issue being dog hair. I work from home and need minimal distractions, so my spouse gave the cleaner a list of items to do today. The housecleaner left abruptly after 15 minutes. We assume it was due to the list, but I could not be interrupted today due to work meetings.  Plus, we didn't want to forget things. We thought the to do list would be most appropriate and helpful (since cleaning needs vary each week).  But it seems like the housekeeper ghosted us and/or was offended (won't respond to texts, didn't communicate what the issue was, left abruptly,etc.)  AITA for providing the housecleaner a to do list?  Is this normal?",AITA house cleaner left,NTA
10xlilc,"My husband has ADHD. He’s a lengthy talker and often cuts people off in conversation. The other thing he does frequently is repeat himself, the combination of these three things really bother me somedays. 

We’re in the beginning phases of getting a pool installed and are getting bids from multiple companies. We’ve talked with four companies, the first three he completely dominated the conversation not allowing me to speak, any time I would start talking it reminded him of something he forgot to say (or at least I think) and he takes whatever I started to say and runs with it. 

Today a contractor came to our house and I told my husband in a joking manner, “don’t overtake the conversation, let me do some talking”, he laughed and said “ok, I’ll be quiet”. That lasted not more than 5 seconds because he went into overdrive and the word vomit began. He got quiet for a moment so I started talking and sure enough he cut me off. I sat down and diverted my attention to my laptop and said I was just going to get my work done as there’s no need for me to be a part of the conversation if I can’t get a sentence in. 

Later on my husband asked me why I seemed agitated, I explained how he’s long winded and constantly cuts me off. His response was “I’m going to remove myself from anything to do with the pool and let you handle it all. It’s not fun to me, and you’re bothered when I ask questions or give feedback”, of course he went on for several minutes.

When he was done, I told him that it’s not my place to tell him what to do and that if he chooses to not be involved that that’s his choice, he cuts me off AGAIN and starts going on about how he’s stepping away and how his talking is a problem for me, etc… I then cut him off and told him that I was tired of him repeating himself, over talking me and talking for extended lengths of time. He told me I was talking down to him and being disrespectful, he then put his earbuds in to end the conversation.

After a few mins he takes the earbuds out to try telling me something, I told him I wasn’t listening since he decided to be rude and end the conversation the way he did. He then proceeds to text all of the vendors we’ve been working with this message- 

“Good evening, XXXX!!!  Hey I’m going to be tied up with some other projects the upcoming weeks and I will not be able to be involved that much with the pool nor decisions.  Please run everything thru XXXX.

Her best contact is her cell phone.  XXX-XXX-XXXX.”

Like WTH, I don’t think he realizes how much he talks nor how repetitive he is. It’s truly exhausting sometimes. AITA?",AITA for telling my husband (who has untreated ADHD) my frustration with the way he communicates?,NTA
10ximsg,"Hi everyone! My best friend, Anthony is getting married next year. He has asked me to be his best man few days ago as he does not have a brother. Of course I accepted it gracefully, and I wanted to be there for him. His Fiancee, Melissa has a disabled brother, Caleb who is special needs. Caleb is going to be the groomsman. Anthony has told me that he has apparently spoken to Melissa and her parents about this, and they agreed that it would be a safer option if Caleb was the groomsman as he may not be able to take on so much pressure.I have met Caleb and I love him. I feel guilty that Anthony asked me over Caleb as Caleb and Anthony has such a very close and a beautiful bond and plus, Caleb may have been dreaming of being someone's best man, and he was not even in the wedding party for Melissa's sister, Pam's wedding.I want to ask Anthony to make Caleb and I co-best mans. I feel like it is the right thing as it will strength the bond between Caleb and Anthony even more while keeping everyone happy. It feels just right to have Caleb be an even bigger part as they will be future brother-in-laws. I have spoken to Melissa's other sister, Pam, and Pam loves the idea, but she said it would be better if I was because Caleb will not be able to handle majority of the duties, and it may add onto to the pressure and make him overwhelmed. I told Pam that it is why I will be there right beside Caleb all the way, and so will Anthony. And if any issue happen, I can happily take over or help Caleb if necessary and so can Anthony. Pam also said that it was unlikely that the idea will even happen because it was agreed upon by everyone.so WIBTA if I asked Anthony to change the best man position and make Caleb and I co-best man?",WIBTA if I asked the groom to change his best man?,YTA
10xo8ds,"My family and I live in a small island community, much like a small town. Everyone knows and helps each other, no one keeps their doors locked, etc. My husband and I moved here when our children were just 1 & 3, so this is the only community they’ve ever really known. We’re pretty remote, and so we rarely get tourists or other outsiders come in out. My children now 13F and 15M, have grown up pretty accustomed to not having to deal with other people. My son has always been very own and extroverted, and never shy about his body. Since he was little, whenever he’s at any of the beaches on the island, he won’t be wearing anything, including a swimsuit. My husband and I never discouraged this, we didn’t want to raise him to be anxious about his own body. We expected it would stop, but it never really did.Recently a new couple moved in, and this summer while they were busting the beach they saw my son. He was swimming alter playing badminton with two of his friends. They looked around with some disgust and later they came over to us and asked if they knew who his parents were. When I asked why, the woman said “he looks like he’s being neglected.” When I told him that WE were his parents  and explained why we aren’t bothered they nearly fell over with contempt. The man started to go in a tangent about how it’s inappropriate to “be like that in public” and that I was “lessening the community”. I tried to assure these people that everything was perfectly fine and any bad behaviour would be known, but they gave us the complete cold shoulder. One time, while my son was out surfing, he came back to his towel to find a swimsuit with the tag still on it for him. The next time they saw me tried AGAIN to convince me to mandate suit-wearing, but I just walked away. The whole thing just reeks of pretentiousness and a holy-than-thou attitude. But am I really doing something wrong? Am I endangering him by letting him go about like that? Is the rest of the community bothered by this?",AITA for not making my son wear a swimsuit?,YTA
10xhobo,I’m supposed to attend a wedding in Asia (14 hour flight) next week. It’s my girlfriends best friend- she’s the maid of honor. My elderly father unexpectedly needs to have heart surgery while I’ll be away and I don’t feel comfortable leaving him. AITA for dropping out and asking my GF to go alone? She doesn’t feel totally comfortable traveling alone- and has hinted she would be embarrassed to be there alone not as a couple,"AITA- Can’t attend destination wedding with girlfriend, elderly father needs surgery",NTA
10xk97d,"Since maybe two weeks ago my (27m) long distance girlfriend (23F)  has been sending me tiktoks and memes about how ""Even though we are dating, you still need to ask me to be your valentine"" or ""Who's your valentine? I don't know I haven't been asked yet"" things along those lines. After the first video I replied jokingly ""Oh yeah? Is that how it works? :P"" as well as something along those lines each time she sends me another one.  Anyway today she blew up at me after still not having been asked. After I replied to her new TikTok with ""Please stop asking"". Am I misunderstanding when you should ask someone to be your valentine? I had planned to have flowers delivered to her work on Valentines Day. But she insists that I am being mean and not taking her feelings into consideration. I find this whole debacle to be trivial and annoying. So AITA?",AITA for not asking my girlfriend to be my valentine even though it's not yet valentine's day?,NTA
10xeg3f,"I (25 f) met my good friend (25 f) and her fiancé a little over a year ago. When the four of us first started hanging out I was already engaged to my current husband (25 m). We got along great and seemed to agree on everything. We shared similar interests, and spent the summer having bonfires in their backyard. After some time we naturally started to hang out with them less. Our adult lives became busy and we moved. I was busy planning my wedding and my husband works long hours. It was time for me to pick my bridesmaids, and since I don’t have a large circle of friends, I asked my friend if she wanted to be a part of our wedding as a bridesmaid. Now, let me just say that I am the furthest thing from a “bridezilla”. I wanted my wedding to be extremely small and casual. I didn’t want my bridal party to spend any extra money, so I told them what color I wanted for their dresses but that was it. They could get any type of black dress that they wanted.I found it odd when I was planning my bachelorette party, my friend told me that she would be unavailable the weekend I had planned. Well, as it turns out, my friend told me that she planned the entire thing herself, and bought a cheap ring online. Then she basically just told her partner to help her set everything and propose for the cameras. I was a little shocked at that, especially since they had confided in us about their financial struggles and having trouble finding stable jobs. I should probably note that my wedding was a gift from my parents, so my husband and I didn’t have to pay for anything ourselves. And if we didn’t have my parents financial support, then we would have waited until we were ready. That’s when my friend asked me if I would be a bridesmaid. I said yes, thinking she was going to be a chill bride like me. Especially because she bragged about finding such a cheap wedding dress online.Wrong. She informed me that her wedding date  would be less that 6 months away. She’s  asked her bridesmaids to purchase a $120 dress from a different country and she expects us to pay her stylist for hair and makeup so we can all look the same, (I’d like to point out that I am black with thick curly hair, and everyone else, including my friend, is white). She’s also expecting free labor out of us for the set up and take down because she can’t afford to hire help. She spent her entire budget on the photographer that I had at my wedding, and her venue. The venue is about 45 minutes away and she wants us to spend the night and pay for a hotel which would be another $350. There will be no alcoholic drinks served at the wedding, just a buffet for dinner, so she wants us to go to a bar afterwards where we would have to pay for our own drinks. My husband and I are living paycheck to paycheck. I’d be okay if the wedding was a year or two out, then I’d have time to save and prepare. But this all feels very rushed. AITA?",AITA for not wanting to be a bridesmaid in my friend’s wedding?,NTA
10xif72,"So as it says I was spending Christmas at my sister's house in Rochester NY flew in from Toronto nice big house, and when I arrived we did not discuss sleeping arraignments. Her in-laws drove up from Texas in a big RV, so getting late we start talking about sleeping arrangements I told my sister don't worry about me got a deal with my flight for a hotel included, she said we have a room ready for you. I said its ok the house will be packed with 10 people even with the in-laws in the RV I'll get here early in the morning. Keep in mind the room she is offering is the den and the bed is an old couch and having to wait after 9 people to take a shower is not ideal and not for a good night's sleep. I got a full bed and my own shower also she wont let people use wifi. So am I the asshole for staying in a hotel getting a full bed a nice hot shower. I was talking to my other sisters they said I wish I had gotten a hotel. I got back the next day sister was pretty upset I stayed in a hotel she was arguing with her husband about it everyone heard it.",AITA for staying in a Hotel,NTA
10xmfhh,"My partner and I went into a small zero waste store where they sell bulk liquids. They state you can bring your own container or buy one of their reusable containers. They also had a bin full of free (previously used) containers with a sign saying ‘free’.My partner asked if they could take a couple jars. The person running the store (owner’s sibling) said of course, and then followed up with: “will you use them to fill up something?” My partner responded with “I’m not sure yet, but I’ve been needing some jars since they place we’re staying at doesn’t have any.”I thought it was wrong to take the jars without purchasing anything, and felt awkward. So I said to my partner that we should fill something up. I took one of the jars and filled it up, and took the other one and put it back in the bin. After checking out and stepping outside, I stated more explicitly why I felt it was wrong, and my partner said I should have said all that in the store. However I felt it would have been rude and embarrassing for mg partner to have such a conversation in front of the employee. My partner was upset because they believed that a zero waste store would be happy to give reusable containers for free to promote zero waste, regardless if the customer made any purchases. They also were upset I filled the jar with something since they had other plans for it at home. I felt that the store was only giving free jars to promote zero waste to new customers who didn’t yet have any containers but wanted to buy bulk liquid. AITA for stopping my partner from taking free jars without making a purchase?",AITA for stopping my partner from taking free jars,NTA
10xmdlb,"I’m a senior in high school attending a small private school of roughly 200 kids Kindergarten to 12th grade. My own class is made up of only 15 students. I am used to being the butt of most jokes my class can formulate, and I have learned to embrace it through my high school years. There is one girl in particular who makes no mistake ensuring I realize how distasteful I am to her. She is usually kept contained by her friends but one day they were both absent and she simply couldn’t stop herself. I finally got fed up with this behavior (which doesn’t happen often). She also had a tendency to tell everyone about her bad grades for pity. So, when she was going on about how stupid I was, I responded with “You want to talk about stupid?” And brought up her grades which were considerably lower than mine. She put on an offended face and got very upset with me, so, AITA?",AITA for being fed up with this girl??,NTA
10xlcjp,"I’m getting married in a few months to my fiancé. We’ve always agreed that we never wanted small children at our wedding. Mostly out of fear of them causing trouble, crying during the ceremony, etc. My sister had my niece almost a year ago now. I love her to death - she’s the sweetest. She’ll be about a year and a half by the time the wedding comes around. I told my fiancé that I was thinking of inviting her to the wedding and she wasn’t happy. I get where she’s coming from- she’s stressed about me changing my mind and willingness to invite a child to the wedding. I argued that she’s different and that family is family. Ultimately, I’m sticking with the child-free wedding. We’re telling all of our other guests they can’t bring their young children. As much as I want my niece there, I feel as if it’s only fair to exclude all children. I’m not expecting my sister to just get a babysitter and be fine with  this. I wouldn’t even be offended (it’d hurt for sure) if she told me she couldn’t attend. I haven’t told my family yet, but things like that don’t often go well. They’ll feel excluded and I know my parents will stand against me. So - AITA for excluding my year and a half old niece from my child-free wedding?",AITA for excluding my young niece from my child-free wedding?,NTA
10xgbmj,"I (16f) know I am incredibly lucky and I really don't want to seem ungrateful. I was in the foster care system for a few years when I was younger and then I got adopted into a great family that has been nothing but supportive and so nice to me. I call them my mom and dad, and my sister (16 f). We'll call her Lucy. I've been with their family for about seven years now, and I again am so grateful for what they've given me, for treating me like their own kid. I know they love me and just writing this makes me feel so guilty for even thinking to say that I just don't feel like I belong there, but I don't want to lie to them. This has become an issue for me because of my neighbor (20 something m). I'll call him John. I met him about a year ago, when my sister and I helped him move in since our parents said helping would be the neighborly thing. I'm a very big reader, and my sister that John had similar books to what I have. He ended up loaning me a few books, and we chatted about them and became friends. He has a much bigger collection than I do, and he buys new ones a lot, so I started going over to his house to browse, and I started to spend more time there reading and doing homework. One day I was sitting in a big comfy armchair, quietly reading while he was cooking dinner in his kitchen and I realized that I felt ""at home."" Like an ""Oh"" moment.I really don't want to say that my house isn't ""home"", but its so loud and they're always so busy. Lucy is really popular and has tons of friends and does a bunch of afterschool activities, so we're always running around, dinner is really late sometimes, and there are usually guests. My parents are the same, they have work friends over often, and they like to do group activities. Hikes, watching movies together, board games, weekend vacations, that sort of thing. Its just a lot for me since I'm pretty introverted. I like spending time with them, and I don't think they've done anything wrong, but I've never felt like I fit in. They don't make me participate, and they let me stay in my room if I want, but I feel bad turning them down.I've been spending a lot of time at John's lately and my mom and dad started asking about why I was there so much, and why I had missed a few family dinners and activities. Had something happened between Lucy and I? Had they done something? I wasn't able to really tell them a good answer and I think they got worried because the next day John said that my parents had come over to ask some questions. He told me that he told them the truth about me just reading and doing homework and that he had suggested that maybe I found the quiet space a good place to study or read without a lot of distractions. None of them know that its really because I feel more right there, if that makes any sense. Am I wrong to tell them all this? How should I? I really don't want to seem ungrateful for what they've given me and I don't want to hurt them. What do I do?",AITA for telling my adoptive parents I've never really felt like part of the family?,NTA
10xk6h1,"I (29f) got married September of ‘22 after about a year and a couple months of dating my, now husband (27m). A couple months before we got married he brought up wanting to his parents (60m &62f) to move in with us once his dad retires. I wasn’t super thrilled about it, but conceded with the very clear statement that it would be 5-10 years down the line. I said I wanted to enjoy our new married life, new house and our baby (10 months). Cut to now, he comes home after being at his parents, after work. He says he just spoke to his dad and discouraged his dad from buying a house as it is a bad idea since he’ll retire before he can pay off house and would possibly leave debt to his sisters and him. So solution would be for parents to move in one of siblings home, he offered to get our basement finished (need to add bathroom) and they can move in with us. I was like wait up, we said 5-10 years down the line. Why did this change? And no, I don’t agree with you giving that option without discussing it with me. He now thinks I’m the AH and am against everything related to his parents. I may be the asshole because of his reaction to my no answer. But I feel these are convos between a marriage before being brought to outside people. He said he’d go back to his parents to tell them “I said no” to them moving with us. AITA?",AITA for not wanting in laws to live in with us,NTA
10xkqfm,"  I (26F) have been living in a 5 bedroom, 2 bathroom apartment since April 2021. Everyone pays for their own rooms and then we spilt the internet and electric bills 5 ways. I became in charge of the electric bill in February 2021 then the internet bill in April 2022. Every month when I get a bill I put it in the group chat and tell them how much it is each and then I list what everyone still needs to pay. This happens twice a month.My current roommates are Jada (28F), Daniela (26F), Amaya (20F), Jasmine (20F). When Jada moved, she immediately got behind on paying her part of the electric bill and would go months without paying. She eventually pays but then immediately gets behind again. When Amaya moved in, she paid like the first two months and then stopped. At first Jasmine was good on payments but then she started falling behind. Then I let Jasmine borrow $100 in November 2022. At this time she owed me $80 towards her part of the internet and electric bills. We agreed on a payment plan of $40 every other week. But she has only paid me $40 twice since. I changed the wifi password last month to get Amaya to pay her part in the internet bill since she hadn't paid me anything since July. I told she can get it when she pays her internet bill, she sent me the money which was $119.Then on Friday when I texted the electric bill I also said that I am not paying anymore bills until everyone pays what they owe including the current bill. Only Jada replied and said that's fine. Then on Tuesday I texted the internet bill and reiterated that I am not paying anymore bills until everyone pays what they owe including current bills. Jasmine asked if I am not going to pay the bills even if I get the payments for just this month. I said yes. She said that is unreasonable and impossible for some of us to do and that she is only going to try pay for this month and continue payment plan that was discussed before I yelled at her (last month, she asked to use the bag clips that were on my salad bags and I snapped and yelled “those are my bag clips.” I didn’t apologize and we haven’t spoken since. I know I was an asshole for yelling). I replied that I don't think I am being unreasonable and I have been more than nice about letting everyone pay late but it needs to come to an end and the payment plan wasn't working since she has only paid me twice since November and she is supposed to pay every other week. She replied that she is really struggling financially and that at least she tried to pay me and since I know this information why would I choose to do what I'm doing. I replied back that I’m asking everyone to pay not just her and if everyone doesn't like it then someone can volunteer to pay the bills and accept late payments. She did not reply and nobody else said anything.As of right now Amaya owes $158 in back payments, Jada owes $105 in back payments, and Jasmine owes $162 in back payments. For this month every owes $26 for the electric and $18 for the internet.",AITA for asking my roommates to pay their parts of the electric and internet bills?,NTA
10xgnxj,"I recently posted this in a different sub and got a comment basically stating that I’m irrational and need to be more tolerant of my neighbors. Weird NeighborsI recently moved into a new apartment. It is on the first floor of a beautiful 2 family house and it is a huge upgrade from the place I moved from. With that, I pay a good amount of money to live here. It’s tough but I make enough to at least cover the rent and bills. There is one other tenant on the second floor. I haven’t had too many interactions with them besides the “hello” we give in passing. No real introduction or anything really. But, they seem really nice when I do see them. The issue I have is that they keep the door to their apartment open. Because of this, the front door to the building is always locked so when packages are delivered, the delivery driver cannot put them in the vestibule, leaving them vulnerable to be stolen by porch pirates which are prominent in the neighborhood. There was a few times I got a call from my landlord asking me to turn up my heat to 76 because the upstairs neighbor’s apartment was cold. (Heat is included in the rent) but my apartment would get boiling hot but feel if they would just shut their door, the heat wouldn’t escape? And my biggest issue with them keeping the door open is that they turn off the lights in the common hallway. It is PITCH BLACK without the lights on. I wake up early for work and cannot see a thing when I come in or out of the house. I went along with this for a while because I was the new tenant in the building, but this is really starting to bother me. I will sometimes turn on the light to see where I’m going just to take my garbage out only to come back 30 seconds later to unlock three doors in the pitch black. I also feel that I cannot have a private conversation with my fiancé in the living room because the sound will go right up the stairs into their open door. The landlord knows they keep their door open because he mentioned to me to make sure the front door is locked because they like to keep theirs open. As I said earlier, I was willing to put up with it in the beginning but realized that WE also live here and pay a lot of money to live here. It is not their house so I shouldn’t have to adjust to living in the dark and lowering my voice because they want to keep their door open. I am very frustrated.",AITA for feeling fed up and frustrated with my upstairs neighbors?,NTA
10x7l0t,"Some back info: Me (30F) and husband. (31M) live four hours from my BIL (34M) and his wife (32F). We see each other three or four times a year and our relationship has been that way since I began dating my husband when I was 22. We have been married for 6 years. MIL and FIL live in the same city as we do. SIL and I do not have mutual friends except for old family friends of my husbands. Even then, they are acquaintances. My MIL is an only child and my FIL has one sibling with one child, so extended family is small. SIL has a career but joined a travel agency to make cash on the side. She has done this for 6 months now. I stay at home with our 2 year old. She had open heart surgery shortly after birth and has required many surgeries in her little life. I am happy to care for her but I have down time and miss contributing financially although my husband has never pressured me. I thought about joining a different travel agency because it seems flexible. There are too many remote positions that I am not able to dedicate time to, like clocking in and working from a computer from 9-5. Travel agency seemed like something feasible. I brought it up to my MIL the last time she visited and did not respond positively. She was very upset and said I would be stepping on SIL’s toes, since she became a travel agent first. She reminded me that SIL gets her feelings hurt easily which is true. I told MIL that SIL works full time and does this on the side, whereas I would be working on this every day. We don’t live in the same city so there shouldn’t be big competition. She asked me “What is the family going to do? You’re going to force us to pick between the two of you.” MIL told me if I wanted to work from home, there were plenty of options. She went on to list several MLMs. My husband told me to ignore his mother and that he supports me. But I am hesitant to start family drama. So WIBTA if I continued down this path?",WIBTA for joining my SIL’s line of work?,NTA
10xcp4g,"​So I work full time, go to school full time and last year I started a small online reselling business.Two years ago, I started doing house/petsitting as a side hustle to make more money. My fiance and I consider this our money because he comes with me to help house/petsit. Last October I also started a small online reselling business. I buy all the inventory and most of the supplies, but I am using an old ebay account of my Fiancé’s because his account is established and has good reviews etc. the business has actually been fairly successful. I sometimes ask my Fiance to package an order or buy packing supplies, but the vast majority of the effort is mine and all of the initial inventory investment was mine. I am approaching point in the business where it is going to be profitable (finally) and today I asked my fiancé to package up 2 orders. He calls me 10 min later and says that he did it then says that “we should really make a separate account for the business so we can see the money that’s coming and going” I said that I wanted it to keep going into my checking at least until my investment is paid off. He said that ”He thinks my investment is probably already paid off and that it’s our money so we should both know what’s going on with it”. I was purposely silent. He said “Do you not think it’s our money? I think of my money as your money” I said that I was the one who bought the inventory, so I consider it more of my money. He said that he “works for it too” and that he “just got done making an order for me” so I asked him if he wanted me to pay him hourly and he hung up the phone.He called back a few minutes later and said that even if I don’t think we should share money just because we are engaged that he puts in extra work for the work I take on so it should be our money. His examples are that the housesitting displaces him from our apartment and the animal sitting adds stress to his life, I am always busy with school and work and the business so he doesn’t get enough time with me and that it hurts his feelings that I would think our money is separate. He says that I drag him around on all the side hustles and that my stress is his stress. He also says that I’m only able to put away as much money as I am because he helps out with the expenses, and that if he wasn’t here, I wouldn’t be able to take on so much. I saw that he googled “How to handle your girlfriend making more money that you” once too so I know it bothers him but I don’t feel like I have any choice really. I want to save money for our future and I feel like to do that I need to always have multiple sources of income.To his credit he is always willing to help me out and is very supportive.I didn’t want to offend him with the “I can pay you hourly” comment but I feel like it's fair to be completely honest.. AITA?",AITA for offering to pay my fiancé hourly instead of splitting the profits from my side hustles?,YTA
10xlb2k,"I (19m) live with my parents. I have a 1 year old daughter who lives with me as well. I live in the city and can’t really move far due to custody agreements so it has been impossible to afford a city apartment/duplex as well as my daughter and insurance all that fun stuff. It’s just not possible. I make 2200 a month. I usually spend 90% of my free time taking care of my daughter and the other 10% working due to no babysitters/baby mother not doing her part. So I can’t work until my parents get home to watch my kid. This leads to almost 0 minutes of alone time/relaxation. My daughter is gone for a week to visit her moms family across the country. I barely get any sleep and I only have one day off while she’s gone which was today. I took a nap and was woken up to my parents remodeling the house because they’re selling it. I said “are you serious” and they said “this is the only time we have time to get work done on the house”. (They work for theirselves. They can take the day off whenever they want)I’m home until 4pm everyday. They have plenty of time to come home and work on the house while I’m watching my daughter. But they only take the days off while she’s on vacation. Leaving my only day off, as well as my mornings before work to be filled with remodeling and loud noises. (I HAVE MISOPHONIA AND THEY KNOW IT) I argued that I just can’t leave work whenever. And I never get time to myself. And they’re using my daughter being gone to get stuff done while I don’t get to catch up on sleep/self care because of the house being torn up and constant noises. They said I’m being selfish. Once again I said it’s my daughter and she’s gone and I don’t even get to do my shit? Just you guys? My baby mama gets a vacation to Florida as she calls it and my parents get to take all of this time from work, but I get no days off or quiet time or alone time? They said “sleep somewhere else” or “this is the only time we have” when it’s technically not!!!! I ACTUALLY don’t have a single second to myself and they’re acting as if they deserve this more than I do which is honestly devastating and I’m astonished that they’re even acting this way with his hard I work everyday. I’m exhausted and just want to sleep man. I understand it’s their house but I feel like they should at least cut me a little slack and realize I never get to relax",AITA for arguing with my parents for waking me up in their house?,YTA
10xpafx,"So long story short I 35m and basically been no contact with my dad since I was like 22, he will text every now and then which I will normally just ignore.He has been seeing his new “girlfriend” about a year and a half now and for whatever reason decides to show up for once to his grandsons first birthday (my sisters kid, not mine). He brought his girlfriend with him to introduce to the family.Now I am a smoker as is she (bad habit I know) so I announced was going to be outside for a few minutes and she followed suit. We got to talking and she asked why myself and my sister don’t talk to my dad or ever reach out. I told her exactly why. When we were kids my dad would either be at work, or golfing and basically left our mother to raise us. He makes good money (150k a year now at the time now even more). I had to delay college until I was 25 because I was considered a dependent and FAFSA for students loan purposes goes off your parents income so I qualified for 0 loans and my dad offered 0 help. So I got a job after high school and moved out, supported myself until I was 18 and went back to college at 25. I graduated with debt but it’s manageable, I told her at no point has he ever offered any support to myself or my sister emotionally or finallancialy and that he was a cheapskate that cares more about himself than his own family.Now to my surprise she had already started noticing these characteristics of my father and hearing what I had to say just confirmed everything for her. They broke up a few days later after she called him a deadbeat dad and a cheapskate.My father has been blowing up my phone calling me an entitled asshole and saying I was an adult and should have been capable of doing it on my own (which I did, at 18, with no help). He said I had no right to say that and I told him maybe if he had been a father I wouldn’t have the need to. AITA for airing out my grievances to my dads now ex girlfriend?","AITA the first telling my dads GF why we don’t talk, causing them to break up?",NTA
10xmcvv,Friend came out for our other friend’s bachelor party but refused to do the main events. The bachelor requested only two events (golf and fishing) that he would like to do and our friend refused to do them. He said he gets seasick easily and doesn’t play golf. But we had plenty of other people who get seasick (they take dramamine) and were playing golf for the first time. I worked hard to plan these events for the bachelor party and asked him to at least come to one of the events. He refused and I screamed and called him a bad friend and an asshole. This friend got angry and starting screaming and kicking the hotel doors. My other friends had to calm him down and he said I wasn’t respecting him or his time. He decided to fly home the night instead of being there for the rest of the trip. Now I feel guilty and want to know if I’m the asshole in this situation.,AITA for calling my friend out for ditching bachelor party events?,ESH
10xk1ff,"I 21F don't want to live with any of my family members anymore, mom, brother, stepdad. I have some things I strongly dislike about living with my brother or stepdad, I don't really care what they would say in case they had any opinion about it. But my mom is like my best friend, and I do care about her, but she is also overbearing I think, I want to start planning to move on my own in a few months, as I now am I able to do it.But she repeatedly says ""no"" whenever I am just talking about my desire of doing so, (not consulting nor asking her) she says that would be ""abandoning"" my family, that it will devastate her as I'll be leaving her alone and lonely, and that I'll be alone (she sees it as a bad thing but I see it as a good thing). But is in the same state, an 1 hour or so away from her, I would visit  a day per week and probably text/talk everyday. She still doesn't like it. She comes from a culture where kids never really leave their parents house, grandparents live in the same house with their grandkids, or they usually live on the house next to their parents house, or build a second floor  when the family grows. That is her ideal situation, waiting to when we can buy two houses next to each other so I can live next to her. I however want more privacy and my feel like I have my own space. I want to chase my own goals, but also don't want to feel responsible for how my mom feels as a result. I think it is not unreasonable for me to want this but she sees it as me not caring about family bonds.","WIBTA if I move out and ""abandon my family""",NTA
10x49hp,"I (20M) currently live with my parents and commute to university, because it's not too far. Even though I don't pay rent, I pitch in very often for bills and the like.My mum has wanted to do fostering for a very long time, which me and my twin sister were absolutely fine with. When my sister left to study abroad (she intends to come back, but is obviously staying in a foreign country for now), my mum saw that as the opportunity to go for it.She's signed up with an agency, and has gone through all the trainings and everything, making sure my dad is also informed of the important details.Now, when the agency are looking to place a child with my mum, is where the issue lies.My sister's old room is on the top floor, while mine and my parents are on the middle floor (kitchen, etc on the bottom floor). My parents want me to shift to her room, so they can be on the same level as a potential foster child.My issue is that I have spent years decorating my room, to what I like, and have meticulously put together a desk PC setup, that fits my room and its dimensions well. I have to move all that up, all while being inundated with classes and assignments, and I just dont think I want to, or can. My sister's room is bigger, but over the years, I've made this room into *my* room if that makes sense. Even then, i wouldnt be able to take everything up there, and it makes even less sense as they would want me to move back after a fostering term ends.My mum is throwing a hissy fit that I don't want to move rooms.AITA?Edit: Yeah, I'm probably the asshole here. I was blind before. I just wish I was given a bit more time, instead of doing it *right now* ive got like 4 assignments due in the next 2 days.",AITA for not wanting to switch rooms?,YTA
10xe3s9,"""Joe"" (27M) and I (25F) have been in a relationship for almost two years and have been living together for six months. Joe is a natural extrovert and makes friends very easily while I am an introvert and prefer small groups, we have never had a problem with it since we respect our spaces and although he goes out to parties without me, he is always very honest as to if someone has flirted with him and I've never had a problem with it, I'm not the jealous type and I know he tends to look like he's flirting even if he's just being nice (it's happened even when I'm around so I know he's not liying).  I make this clear to show that there has never been any mistrust between us.  It all begins when I started living with him and since we are seeing each other every day (we both work from home) things cooled down.  I notice how close he is to his boss ""Sarah"" (30F), even though they are not talking about work, they are on calls almost all day, they even write to each other outside of work hours and he began to talk to me very often about her, things like: ""Sarah gave me this tip for the garden"" ""Sarah really likes this videogame"" ""I recommended the restaurant we went to to Sarah"" and although I tried not to be upset the truth is that there was no day that he didn't mention her, I started to feel a little insecure about it. A few months ago I opened up to him and gently told him how he made me feel when he talked to me so much about her.He laughed and told me that he just really liked her since they were the closest in age at work and being both team leaders, he felt more understood by her at work.  I asked him if he could do it less and he told me he would try, but he felt that if he couldn't tell me about Sarah he felt there was no trust between us.  Nothing changed despite telling him how I felt, he picks up his phone during meals (which he knows has always bothered me since it is the time we share outside of our studies) and then he would tell me ""It's Sarah, she sent me a message"", I don't say anything as I thought about what he said last time about trust.  But yesterday I snapped, I had had a bad day at work, I wanted to talk to him and relax a bit and when during dinner (while we were talking about my work) he picked up his cellphone and  told me: ""It's Sarah, she sent me a photo of her dog ... look!""  to which I said ""I don't care about Sarah, I don't care about her fucking dog, I don't give a shit what she does"", I never talk to him like that, there was an awkward silence and then he got up from the table and left, later he just says ""Sorry"" and we didn't speak again all night.  I felt like shit and today I apologized to him and explained why It bothered me so much yesterday, he just said ""Ok"" but I know he's upset and he doesn't want to talk to me about it anymore.  Still, i'm feeling guilty and like a jealous psychopath for talking to him like that about something he told me not to care about and that I've never really had reason to distrust, so AITA?",AITA for asking my boyfriend to not talk to me about his boss?,NTA
10xn2fl,"My gran 71F (on my mums side) is currently staying with us from overseas. Yesterday she got upset with my mum 52F and myself 19F because she believed we were both ignoring her over a rude comment she made about our cat. She started screaming at the both of us and becoming extremely aggressive.  she told us to ""fuck off"" and ""shut the fuck up"" on multiple occasions. Became aggressive and raised the cup of boiling hot black tea she was holding as if to throw it on us. I eventually threatened to call the police.Neither mum or I swore at her the entire time. I was honestly in shock. (My dad 56M was at work when this happened). The next day my mum and gran had a conversation regarding the situation (which I listened in on). Gran completely played the victim saying stuff like: ""I didn't like the way that turned out, this is not good for me"", ""your not going to have a mother anymore"", ""if you want to end our relationship over a cat"", ""I will just go to a hotel and then find my own way to the airport"", ""I truly dont care what you do with your cat if you want to let it ruin your furniture go ahead"", ""you get upset with everything I say, your too sensitive"".I just want to clarify that not once during their conversation did my mum say she wants to end their relationship or say gran must go stay else where.(Gran has not apologised at all).Here is where I may be the AITA:After the conversation between my mum and gran. My mum, dad and gran all went out as if nothing happened. I am currently avoiding both my parents. Because I feel resentful towards my mum for not being a good role model and not making gran take more accountability for her actions. I am concerned about the type of impact this whole situation could of had on me if it had happened when I was younger and more impressionable. What does this teach me as a young women? Someone can swear and be aggressive towards me? Then they can play the victim and not take accountability for their actions but because they are family I should just let it go? I am not saying my mum should cut gran off. Everyone has their moments and if she was upset with us she could have easily had a conversation and communicated. Instead she treated us like that and then more so did not apologise. Regarding my dad. He takes swearing at each other very seriously, if I swore at him he would go ballistic. But in this situation he will not stand up for me and tell gran to apologise to me because its less convenient from him. Like I am your daughter. It hurts even more because I have a friend who stood up for me in a far less dire situation than this. But my own father wont do it over something he claims to take so seriously.I just feel resentful and angry towards both of them for not standing up for me (and herself) in this situation just to avoid conflict. AITA?",AITA for being resentful towards my parents for not holding my gran accountable after she was verbally abusive?,NTA
10xe2zs,"I have some blood problems, one of which is low iron and folic acid. I do take supplements and am careful with my diet, but if I've had a busy day and haven't eaten enough, or I'm on my period, sometimes my levels will drop quite drastically. This leads to pica cravings, sometimes clay but mostly chalk. I watch a lot of chalk crushing videos to help with the cravings, but they really make my mouth water. I have never indulged my pica before, but the other night I was particularly low on iron and a little turnt, and ended up buying some chalk off etsy. It's high quality, edible, belgorod chalk, and is often reccomended to people with pica as it is safe to eat. I haven't bought much of it at all, and have only tried a little crunch so far, and it's perfect for satiating extreme cravings. I understand it's a bit weird, but the way I see it, it's a tool to help me deal with an eating disorder. It's better than eating something harmful.My partner disagrees. I told him about the chalk and he said it was disgusting and sad. He said chalk is not a safe meal replacement (I'm not using it as a meal replacement nor trying to lose weight) and chastised me for having the cravings in the first place. I know craving chalk is bizarre and I understand I may be completely delusional here because I'm desensitised to videos of people eating chalk, however it is specifically edible chalk and I'm not doing myself any harm. Is it sad and weird to have bought the chalk? I know it's out of the ordinary, but AITA?Edit: yes I am in contact with a doctor, I finally got my blood test results back last week and have started on supplements. They are helping but don't work overnight, so I'm still getting some cravings occasionally. I eat a large amount of healthy whole food and work out regularly.",AITA for buying chalk?,NTA
10x3fue,"I (16) have been harassed by my sister (31) and mother (53) for the past few weeks to help her write a 10 page essay.I am in my last year of high school with 5 of my own assignments with deadlines this month. I agreed to help her correct her grammar since she never got proper education (she was expelled at 13 and nowhere else accepted her) but now she expects me to write her whole essay for her. She has to write an essay about one baking ingredient of her choice. She chose the least practical ingredient - not an allergen, doesn’t contain gluten… - because she thought it was funny. Now she’s bothering me because she doesn’t know anything about it, how to do research or write an essay.If she doesn’t pass this assignment she won’t be able to advance into the next year of college. I am currently ill with food poisoning, haven’t sat food tech in 5 years, and have never written an essay in the style required. We agreed that I will help her with grammar and expand anything to make it longer if she does her own research and writes what she is trying to convey. Mind this assignment is meant to be done by her alone and she could get removed from the class if it is found out that I am helping her. I am refusing to write this essay for her and my mums calling me ungrateful saying they would do anything for me, saying she just spent £100 on equipment to make me cake for my birthday - she was buying that equipment either way.Aita for not helping?",AITA for not helping my sister with her college assignment,NTA
10wtw1p,"So I (M) spent Christmas Eve at my boyfriend's aunt's house (hereafter, ""hostess""). There's lot of food, buffet style. I got some salmon, sat down on a couch with bf. Took a bite, and see while the top is cooked, the bottom is raw. Bf said it was probably catered and that one salmon was just bad.I'm very nervous even being there because bf had been telling me his family didn't have a high opinion of me and this was a time for them to kick the tires, so to speak. Seeing the salmon made me even more nervous because what if not eating it made me seem like I'm insulting the hostess? I decide to cut up the salmon and move it all around the plate so it looked like I ate more than I did and the hostess wouldn't notice.She noticed. And it turns out it wasn't catered. Bf's other aunt (hereafter, ""aunt"") was asked to cook the salmon, and apparently likes sushi a lot so she undercooked it the way she liked it. Bf tells me this apparently caused a very big scandal. I was never told exactly what the scandal was by the family, or exactly why they think I was an asshole, though I imagine the hostess felt I was insulting her for wasting food at her house, and aunt felt me not eating her food was an insult to her cooking. The hostess afterward told me I should have given the food to her to microwave. I nervously stammer something idr what.I am told a month later by bf that his mom and her sisters still gossip about it. His mom has come around to me, I think, so I don't think *she* is saying mean things, but I am told aunt doesn't like me anymore.I stand by not eating it. It was out for more than 2 hours: aunt lived more than an hour from hostess's house, the food had been out at that house for at least 30 minutes-1hour, and I didn't notice condensation on the container so the salmon had been out long enough to cool to room temperature before being put in the container. Microwaving can't kill all the bacteria that can develop on raw food that has been out for hours. And I had gotten food poisoning from salmon sushi only a few weeks prior.I am wondering whether this was in poor taste, and I was the asshole for insulting aunt. She throws lots of nice parties so maybe I should have trusted she knew what she was doing and eaten it...AITA?",AITA for refusing to eat my bf's family member's food on Christmas Eve?,NTA
10xca9z,"For several months my sibling and I leased an apartment together, and we were supposed to split the bills 50/50. Early on the both of us ended up losing our jobs for different reasons, at the same time. After that we both got new jobs, but my sibling decided that this was their sign to move out of state. They asked if they could pay less on their side so they could save up for the move. Stupidly (in hindsight) I agreed to this.For 2 months they asked if I could cover the rent and bills, and they would pay me back for it. I did so with my savings. From here began a cycle of them paying about 25% of $1900 in bills, consistently trying to pay even less than that but I kept telling them thats not the amount we agreed upon. Several months in they hit me with a ""Hey I'm moving out in 2 weeks, mind taking me off the lease?"" I refused to take them off the lease, had to force them to pay any part of the bills for that month, and I had to hurriedly end the lease and move out since I couldn't afford a single month there on my own. I ended up owing a decent amount to the rental company. My sibling ALSO left almost all of their furniture and items in the apartment, rented out a storage unit and asked me to move their stuff into it AFTER they had left the state. I did, in fact, move their stuff into the storage unit.I am very much pissed with my sibling for what I feel is taking advantage of me for several months, with the excuse that they were saving money for the move (they didn't save any) and left me in a shitty situation. They even had the gall to be angry with me for ending the lease early, saying it would hurt their rental history and blamed me for being too poor to be able to afford the bills myself. They talked shit about it to the family, which did temporarily cause a schism within the family.My sibling keeps texting me for one thing: Their storage unit. Every time it rains, they ask me to check on it. Everytime it snows, they ask me to check on it. Everytime they ask, I simply ignore their texts. I'll check on their storage unit the second they pay me those 2 months of rent they never paid.AITA? Is this just all stupid drama? Or is my sibling a POS?",AITA for refusing to check on my siblings storage unit after they moved out,NTA
10xi3ui,"Ok so the title may be a little confusing but basically I was in class and one of the boys decided it would be a ‘fun prank’ to steal my unlocked phone which I thought was funny at first. But then he gave it to a whole bunch of  his friends to look through. After that whole ordeal I couldn’t find it after a good 5 minutes and he wouldn’t tell me where it was so I started panicking and asked the teacher if someone may have turned it into her. He finally told me where my phone was(some dudes in the corner of the class were scrolling through my tiktoks) but he got pissed at me after and won’t talk to me saying that it was ‘friendly fun’ or whatever the fuckTl;dr boy stole my phone. I asked teacher if someone had it, he got mad and won’t talk to me",AITA for asking the teacher where my phone was,NTA
10xi27t,"Abby and I are both mid 30s and live together. Abby has what she refers to as severe social anxiety and generally does not leave the house, and certainly does not go to the store. She depends on me pretty much entirely for this these days.I went shopping and got myself some milk, two tv dinners for quick lunches, and some breakfast supplies for myself.I got home, and Abby asked if I went to the store and noted that I did not call to see if she wanted anything. I confirmed this. She accused me of ""being manipulative with food."" I noted money was tight for me (I basically spent what was available) and encouraged her to use curbside pickup (she currently has a usable vehicle, a rare thing these days).She mentioned manipulation again before taking what I bought to her area. Maybe she will bring it back. Maybe she will let me in when I want something. Maybe I will be locked away from the food I just bought (behind a door with a do not disturb sign she emphasized today)I feel like a bit of TA because a part of me is angry at how she treats me and her declining to let me claim her as a dependeny (I pay for all housing, most food, and she's ""borrowed"" lots). So yeah, my actions were a bit spiteful...EDIT!!!! So happy I found the edit function! Abby is my girlfriend. I own the home and we've lived her for over five years and been together for around a decade. Sorry for the confusion and thank you for the judgement!",AITA for being inconsiderate,NTA
10xla9f,"So my ""partner"" and I have been together for about 9 years. He used to vape pretty constantly but has been smoking cigarettes for about 2 years now. I've always hated him smoking/vaping, to the point where the sound his vape made when he inhaled made me physically cringe. I dislike him smoking cigarettes for a number of reasons, but I understand it's an addiction and he isn't motivated nor cares enough to quit. I have told him on numerous occasions that I wish he would quit because I've seen what it can do to the people I love, and he just responds with something rude or snarky. I have also come to the point where I have been telling him fine, smoke but please do not smoke before bed. The smell makes me sick to my stomach and makes me nauseous. He knows this. But he constantly smokes before bed anyway then gets moody when I ask him to shower or sleep in the living room. AITA ?","AITA for asking my ""partner"" not to smoke before bed",NTA
10xfimt,"Context: I love my husband more than anything. He's my highschool sweetheart. This year we'll have been together for 20 years. He is VERY mild mannered and never feels confident self-advocating, not even to me. I have to be careful when he just goes along with whatever I want that I don't allow myself to take advantage of his passive nature. If he has an objection to something I have to pry it out of him. (Nicely.)Now he's had this job for about 8 years. It's retail, and the company is DESPICABLE. I've begged him to look for a job that treats him better, but he gets very defensive and angry about it when I try. If I press, he turns into someone I barely recognize. But he hates it there? And they're working him to death. When he was assistant manager and hourly he would pull in megabucks working overtime until the company complained and made him stop, but they didn't stop there. They promoted him to general manager, which sounds good right? Except now he's on salary working 12-14 hour shifts every single day (literally EVERY day). He's never home. And now he's not getting paid for his overtime and they lowballed his salary into the center of the earth. He's NOT getting paid near enough for how hard and long he works. It makes me sick to see him used and abused like this. To be clear, I do not suspect he's really doing something else during this time like cheating. Like I said, we're 20 years strong and I constantly see his car there when I'm running errands. This is 100% me being sick that he just lets them walk all over him and doesn't demand money or more time off. But when I bring it up, it's ugly.TLDR; Husband works himself half to death for a low-ball salary and I want better for him but when I try to insist he's being mistreated he gets VERY defensive and makes it clear he's not going to leave the place.Should I just mind my business?Edited to add: 1. We do not have kids. He wants them though.2. I'm sensing a trend forming already and I accept the judgement of the Assembly. 😁 I am reading the comments including the constructive criticism of my actions with appreciation for your perspectives.",AITA for being angry thet my husband won't stand up for himself at work?,YTA
10xl445,"First, me and my in-laws doesn't have a good relationship, I was emotionally and verbally abused by them when me and my husband live in their house for the first three years of our married life.FIL is abusive towards his wife, he is narcissistic, while MIL is enabler of the abuser. My husband grew up in a dysfunctional family. I'd also like to point out that I'm still in the process of healing, so I'm still avoiding seeing them unless there's a special family occasion.Sister in law from UK will come over to our place to visit us my husband next weekend, so I planned to invite my husband's parents to come over as well to our place.But this coming Saturday, it will be my Husband's birthday, and honestly I don't feel like inviting his parent's since I'll be seeing them next week, and tbh it's too much for me.Am I AH or too selfish to decide that for my husband? While he doesn't care at all, he didn't mention anything about his birthday, he only wants simple celebration with us. I thought it would be nice to invite his parents to his birthday to make him happy.So am I AH here for not wanting my husband's parents to come here on his birthday if we are going to see them anyway next week?",AITA - For not inviting my Husband's family on his birthday,NTA
10xmh7y,"Am I the asshole for not wanting to give my younger sister a role in my wedding?I (17F) am getting married in September later this year, and am currently trying to plan out the wedding. My fiancé has his best man and groomsmen chosen, I chose my best friend as my maid of honor and one other friend to be a bridesmaid. My Mom was kind enough to get dresses for my maid of honor and bridesmaid. I was looking at the dresses and they're the perfect colors and style, then my little sister (12) comes in the room flaunting a dress that looks just like my bridesmaids dress. My sister then walks around the room exclaiming that she is also going to be a bridesmaid, I don't know if I should have done this or not but I tried politely telling her that I had one maid and one that was my maid of honor. She blew up on me after I tried to be nice about it, ""I'M YOUR SISTER, I SHOULD BE IN THE WEDDING"" going on and on about it, once she ran out of breath I explained to her ""...Lately you have been treating me very poorly and the fact that you feel entitled to a role in MY wedding is almost humorous. The fact of the matter is that just because you are family doesn't guarantee a role in something like this.""  My mom keeps telling me I need to give her a role in my wedding. This is not how I wanted my wedding. There was an argument about it between me and her. My sister and I have never really been close anyway, then there's the issue that she's super spoiled and used to getting what she wants. Usually I try to avoid situations that would cause her to flip her lid, which means I usually cave to her wants and wishes not only to avoid her tantrums but also to avoid an issue with my parents. This is the one time I've really stood my ground about something to them all, now they see this as being cold. It would be cold if me and her were closer, but we're not. There's not much of an emotional bond, I mean I love her but don't particularly like her. My fiancé is aware of how I feel about it, he didn't want to interfere with something like this. I feel kinda bad about it but then again this is the time where I have a say, or at least I'm supposed to have a say in who gets what role.",AITA for not wanting to give my sister a role in my wedding,NTA
10x9cla,"My family is very visibly white including my brother in question but we grew up in a predominantly low income African American community, and as such sound like it. I moved out years ago to go to college and had a major culture shock as I experienced problems related to the fact that, I, a very white man sounded ""extremely black"", as some of my new friends put it. Note this included terms and phrases that would probably be considered problematic for a white person to say (yes including slurs) but at the time I didnt know any better because thats just how everyone I was around talked. I eventually solved most if not all my problems by fixing my accent and vocabulary and started sounding more white.Recently my brother has done the same and moved out for college and he is experiencing a lot of the same problems at a different college for basically all the same reasons. While talking to him I told him the best way to solve the problem would be to ""fix his accent"" and he got angry and said he shouldnt have to change himself for me or anyone because that's just how he is, how he/we grew up, etc.  I am having second thoughts about this advice but I hate for him to prolong the problems he will experience because of this issue because of his stubbornness so I stood my ground and doubled down on my advice. AITA for doing so?","AITA for telling my brother to ""fix his accent""",NTA
10xo517,"\*This is a throwaway accountI (16F) have a very strained relationship with my parents, they pressure me and yell at me all the time. My parents keep a fairly strict household meaning that as soon as school ends I am to come home immediately, and if I am late to the pick up area I will have to walk home myself. They believe that going out with friends is a luxury even if its on a walk, so i'm usually in my room. My schedule is pretty harsh which is packed with a bunch of extra curricular activities. A week ago my Mother decided that I had been using my phone way more often than I should, I use it mainly to keep up to date with homework. My parents insist that I should keep my phone outside my room while I work, which is understandable as I tend to get distracted easily.Yesterday night after coming home I just wanted to relax for a little while so I went on my phone. My mom came in and said that food was ready but I wasn't really hungry. After just eating some bread and getting to work my Mom barges in yelling how I haven't ate any food and therefore I don't care of myself.She then takes my phone and states that she wont be giving it back because I am not mature enough to have one (I earned the phone myself and payed my parents in full to purchase it for me). She tells me I have betrayed their trust in going outside my room to spend time on my phone now that they banned it inside. My Dad joined in and started complaining on how he and my mom work long hours to provide for the family and how after coming home they are really tired and want to just relax, and how i'm making it hard for them when I don't take care of myself.At this point I too have had a really tough day and I just wanted to get done with my work and go sleep. So I yelled at them on how I do take care of myself. They immediately got defensive and started denying everything they said saying and that they were really worried because I wasn't eating enough. I kept saying that I was fine and I grew more irritated by the second, it got to the point where they said I was also going to stop everything else I do until I got my act together and started listening.She threatened to speak to my school, and I completely lost it and I said a lot things that were really mean mostly on their parenting style, how overbearing they are, and how i've had to basically raise myself. My Mom said my hormones were acting up and just left with my dad ending the conversation.I haven't spoken a word to them since. They wont talk to me unless I make a fully outlined plan on how I was wrong and how I am going to fix myself. The same argument happens every week and this is my first time severely lashing out. This isn't the first time they have taken my phone away for a long time, the last time it was gone they only gave it back with strict regulations.So I want to know AITA for yelling at my parents?",AITA for yelling at my family?,NTA
10xikyr,"Okay, so I (18F) am adopted. I don’t have a real mother or father. I live with friends of my bio mother and I call them by familial names (for instance, I have a mother, grandma, and two sisters in my adoptive family). But I feel close to them like they are my real family. To make this short and sweet and cut out any unnecessary parts, I don’t like kids. I just don’t enjoy being around them, and they overstimulate me and just generally piss me off. I have respect for kids, because they are small humans, but I dislike being around them VERY much. I have felt this way since I was a kid. I never liked babies even as a little girl and this carried with me until adulthood. Both of my adoptive sisters have kids, no I don’t like them. I can tolerate the older one, because she is quiet, but the younger ones I hate being around. The youngest (M3) is a boy, and he is special needs. He is always bouncing off the walls, screaming, and often his sentences make no sense. His mother is not around, and his father is out of the picture completely, so the baby lives with me and my parents. This child (we will call him M) is NOT MINE so I see no reason why I should care for him. I ordered McDonalds (he likes McDonald’s) and got a bit of extra food for M, thinking I was being gracious. I gave him a bowl with his food and ate mine at the table. He finished his food and asked me for more, which obviously I said no, he isn’t my child and it isn’t my responsibility to feed him. He cried to my mother, and my mother who was on the phone with my other sister (not the mother of M) asked me to give him some. I said “I already gave him a bit.”  She asked me to give him more. I say: “What? No. This is my money.”She flips her lid and tells my sister about it, and so my sister angrily messages me not even three seconds later about how rude I am. I respond “Seriously? I didn’t have to do anything for him. M isn’t my kid, anything I do for him is charitable. He isn’t my financial responsibility.” She tells me that I treat M like a charity case, and that he is my family and that our family took me in when I had nobody so I should do the same. I said that I understand but it isn’t really my problem and it comes down to making the decision in your own terms, I was never okay with M from the start, and he isn’t mine to spend money on, and that I have no care for him in the first place. AITA?",AITA for not feeding my nephew?,YTA
10x2myb,"This morning I took the bus to work like I normally do. When I got off, I realized my phone (with my ID and credit card) was still on my seat. It was too late and the bus had already started moving. I chased it for two blocks waving and trying to get the driver's attention to no avail. I honestly thought they may be intentionally ignoring me.​They got farther away and I couldn't catch up so I dashed to where the bus would make another stop a bit later. I got there right as the bus had started to leave again. Once again the driver didn't seem to see me so I decided to bang on the side of the bus. At this point, the bus was moving slowly and in retrospect I recognize this could have been dangerous. At the time, all I thought was that I really needed my phone and card, not knowing if I'd be able to get them back if they were lost especially because the busses in my city are ridden by many people who wouldn't think twice about taking someone's credit card and phone.​This time the driver did stop and I was able to get my phone but first the driver really let in to me, telling me how much I'd scared her, how I could have been hit and how I didn't have any right to bang on the bus just because I forgot something. I felt pretty bad and apologized but she was still fuming. I understand why she was upset. But still, what was I supposed to do? I can't afford to lose that stuff.",AITA for chasing a bus and banging on the window when I forgot my phone inside?,NTA
10xkxm7,"I and my friend let’s call her sid have known each other for years. We are on our third year living together at college and things have been mostly smooth sailing until the last couple of months. For context we are both full time students and have jobs so we are on different schedules and frequently coming and going. Sid has started getting passive aggressive when I am doing things in our living room or kitchen, I am from a family where that’s used normally for studying, eating, being social etc. until the last person is asleep. Neither of us are party animals and neither are our 2 other roomies. I’m an introvert so I leave the house to take calls and almost never have company. The other night I got home from work and was doing homework silently (no music, no friends, no TV) around 10:30 and Sid said “that’s what you have a bedroom for” (she knows the wifi doesn’t usually reach upstairs) & that the small amount of light she could see through the bottom of the door made her unable to sleep. She has also said I make too much noise moving around in the mornings but she almost always is up before me & she will use the blender, make coffee etc. Tonight me and another roommate were chilling in the kitchen and she came out of her room yelling “do y’all have common sense” that we needed to go to our rooms despite it being before 10pm. She is the only confrontational one in the house so we didn’t really say anything.I am starting to think I should confront her but I may be at fault. Reason I may be an AH- she does frequently wake up early and I could be making her unable to sleep. I feel that as long as we are respectful she cannot dictate the use of shared spaces. Her mother also has recently had a cancer relapse so I could be adding stress to her very busy routines.",AITA Me (20F)and my roommate (20F) have been fighting over use of the common space in our apartment,NTA
10xecdf,"I (20F) am on a college campus that had a pipe break causing a town wide contamination emergency. Our campus was distributing cases of water for students to drink until the water is fixed. We got an emergency email telling us cases of water would be available for the taking. I grabbed one of the cases, planning to take half of the water for myself and the rest for the campus food pantry, which to my knowledge wasn’t being stocked. A lady in the res hall yelled at me and an email was sent out clarifying that we weren’t made to take a case, but rather only 3 bottles (which was not stated in the original email). I feel like a moron but at the same time, I wasn’t hoarding just trying to help the community. I do a lot of physical activity so I figured I would need more than 3. I wasn’t trying to hoarde but if I am the Ahole, I’d rather know so I don’t do anything like it again.",AITA for Taking a Free Case of Water during a water emergency?,NTA
10xkuub,"There’s a guy (20M) that had a crush on me (23F) and had been trying with me for 6 months but I had rejected him because of personal reasons I had. We were friends I’d say, we talked nearly everyday. Anyways my friend (26F) told him that I slept with my ex recently and that I had also started seeing someone new. Both which are true but I would’ve preferred him not to know. I know this information upset him and I felt guilty that he knows this now.My friend didn’t know that him and I had a ‘thing’ not sure what to call it. So I guess it wasn’t really her fault. But I’m upset that she just talks about my personal life without permission but she thinks that she’s free to talk about anything.",AITA for being angry that my friend told someone about my personal life,NTA
10xnz2x,"Hello Reddit I need your judgment ​Background, my cousin 12-year-old female attends a public school. About twice a year they hold a catalog fundraiser to help raise funds for after school activities. For those of you who aren't familiar on how a catalog fundraiser works, here's a overview. The school contracts a company to hand out catalogues to the students and it's up to the students to try to sell what's in the catalogs, the company splits part of the profit of what the students sell with the school. and to incentivize the kids they offer different tiers of “prizes”. think dollar store items or off branded electronics. One of the prizes is a trip to a local Arcade with added pizza party.​  This is the issue, as mentioned before the prizes are tiered. The more you sell the better your prize is. the Arcade party was a tier 20 prize “or the equivalent of $85 of catalog items” My cousin worked her little legs off selling to every single one of her neighbors, family, and relatives. but only managed to sell $45 worth of catalog items. Nothing in the catalog interested me, however being the fun older cousin I decided to write a check to cover the remaining amount so she could go with her friends to the arcade. My cousin was over the moon excited. so, I cut a check for $40 and I thought that was it.​About three weeks later by chance I was over at my aunt's house when my cousin came home from school bawling her eyes out, I called her teacher to see what happened. she informed me that because my cousin only did $45 in sales through the catalog she wasn't permitted to go on the trip. when I inquired about my $40 donation, she informed me it was received and was very much appreciated but because I didn't do it through the catalog it didn't count.​nowhere in the catalog or on the flyer that came with it was anything about the amount being reached solely through the catalog all it said was “donation tier list” not catalog item tier list or items sold tier list just X amount of domination equals price. after I got off the phone with the school my cousin filled me in on a few more details that only made me more made. turns out she was the only one who didn't end up going on the field trip everyone else in her grade had either made the tear or didn't bother coming in, and because of this they didn't have anyone to watch her so they put her and with the in-school suspension kids from the grade above. and to add insult to injury they ended up giving her the prize it from one of the lower tiers as “compensation” a cheap foam frisbee, a bag of colored pencils, and a tie-dye squishy ball.​I want to ask for a refund by some of my fiends/family do see the issue​So, Reddit given all that information AITA for wanting to request my $40 donation back?​(tlder) made donation for cousin could go on field trip school made her stay behind and now I thinking of asking for a refund",AITA For wanting my cousin school to refund my donation?,NTA
10xfpe7,"For context I (30M) and my fiance (25F) just had our second baby 3 months ago. We also have a 1 year old daughter. My fiance's grandmother does come over now that I'm back at work during the day to help her with the kids. She did have some postpartum depression while I was on leave, but as soon as I went back to work it got really bad. She was diagnosed with manic depression and bipolar 2, and was prescribed some heavy duty medication. We were told that she needed to have another adult at home with her (preferably me) for the first week on the new medication as it affects her ability to care for children. Shortly before my son was born my fiance also started an at home baking business. She is an amazing baker and is very passionate about it. Some of the folks I work with asked if she's taking any new orders right now. Considering her current mental state, how much stress she already has taking care of the two kids, and how I really can't take off more time from work I told them that she's booked up at this time.AITA?",AITA for not taking new orders for my fiance's baking business?,YTA
10xm6kk,"Hi Im posting cause I think I might be for feeling this way but I thought it couldn’t hurt to check. So me and my sister both took a history a test, I got an A and she got a B. My parents were all happy over her B but my A was only an after thought. The reason I feel like an A hole is because she worked hard (? Maybe not cause she’s always on her laptop and only studied last minute) for her grade while I’ve always just knew it. It makes me feel like an A hole and a spoiled brat because I wanted praise for something that should be expected of me since I’ve always been fond of history. So yeah, AITA?",AITA for feeling kinda bummed for not getting any praise?,NTA
10xlrqw,"I (18f) have 4 siblings, (T 29 M, C 26M, D 24 M, and R 19 M) R was adopted when he was 13. His biological parents decided they didn’t want a baby. The rest of us are biologically siblings. All 5 of us go/went to an arts school.  The older boys for music, me for art and R is going for dance. I found out through some friends that R has been saying our parents have always treated him differently. This weekend R has a show, but my art show is the same day. A couple days ago our parents said they’d try to make it to his but they’re not totally sure if they could. He hung up on them and according to one of our friends locked himself in his dorm and wouldn’t talk to anyone.His “roommate” called me and said he’s still really upset and was hoping i could talk to him. I said he was just being sensitive and I hung up to call him. I let him vent for awhile, according to him mom and dad have always put everyone else first. He also said they were disappointed when he went for dance (they were but they got over it.) I said he was overreacting and needed to chill out. He hung up on me and blocked my number. Now I’m getting texts and calls from his roommate, S, and all our mutual friends saying I’m an Asshole, I’m a bitch, I’m selfish and I need to apologize. Mom, dad, T and C are on my side. So Aita?",AITA for telling my adopted brother he’s overreacting?,YTA
10xgpr0," I (29f) have a 10 year old daughter with my (32m) ex whom I share custody with. My daughter and I have always had a close bond until the age 6 when I noticed signs of ADHD. When I brought it up to my ex about seeking treatment for it he was hesitant but ultimately agreed. My suspicions were correct but her father didn’t agree and asked for a second opinion. I agreed to give him the peace of mind. The second opinion stated that my daughter didn’t have ADHD and was just attention seeking because of our separation. He like this answer much better I didn’t because we had been separated for around 5 years( she was 1 when we broke things off). Eventually we sought out a specialist and psychiatrist who both agreed she showed signs of ADHD. Over the years her behavior would go up and down; which is common for ADHD and trying to find the right treatment plan. She is now 10 years old and on the proper medication but over the years she’s become more defiant and hostile even towards me. She doesn’t have the best relationship with dad, but her and I have always had an open line of communication. I have 2 other children my youngest is on the spectrum and doesn’t like loud noises or confrontation. My daughter received a 2nd diagnosis of ODD and was recommended therapy. So far nothing has worked she grows more and more hostile, shows zero signs of remorse or empathy. I’m just at my breaking point, I don’t want to send her to live with her dad because she already has that bad relationship with him I don’t want to it worse. Plus he has threaten to have her committed (even though she’s never been physical with anyone), I know she needs more help than I can give her. I’ve looked into boarding school that specializes in troubled youth, I just want her to get the help she needs even if it’s a difficult choice. So AITA?Edit 1: I didn’t go looking into them myself because I just didn’t want to handle her anymore. The idea of boarding school was brought up after one of our latest family therapy session. Because she has grown more uncontrollable and has moved the behavior from home to school. Edit 2: Dad is a weekend dad who comes and goes as he pleases he’s made sure she knows that if she’s anything but the perfect child he is unwilling to be involved. He has brought her home early multiple times because he just couldn’t handle her “savage behavior”. He’s made it clear to her when she’s perfect she gets it from him but when she’s bad it’s because she’s like me and she knows how he feels about me. ( She has stated this in family therapy ) which he doesn’t even attend.",AITA for considering boarding school?,NTA
10wummt,"I have a 16 year old daughter. My mother passed away 2 years ago, leaving our daughter a great sum of money since she is the only grandchild. We were reluctant and to let her dig into it before she was 18 in fear she would not be responsible, but she convinced us after taking her drivers test to allow her to get a car. She had also started working a part time job to maintain insurance.Since then, my daughter has been fired from her job. She’s been sneaking out late at night and driving who knows where, or just leaving school early. We found vape pens and marijuanna cartridges. My wife specials as a therapist, and we are aware Of the important of mental health, we have tried communicating with her on and asking her if this could be a reason for her outburst, offering help, or even if she just wanted to talk to us.  She straight up tells us it’s not that, she just gets “caught in the moment.” Along with that she’s been kicked out of her school and being sent to a disciplinary school.We obviously are deeply concerned, but since she’s been a teenager she has had disciplinary issues. My wife and I decided her punishment would be taking her keys. No more extra freedom of her own transportation. We’ve tried less drastic consequences in the past and none have phased her including revoking cellphone (she just finds a new one from her friends) and grounding her to her room.This keys situation though, made her go ballistic. She started screaming that we had no right, she paid for her car and it was in her name. I told she was a minor so we did infact have a right. She tried making an excuse about how now she couldn’t go to school, and we said we’d provide transportation. She’s very upset by this and told us she hates us, we don’t care about her, and has locked herself in her room.My wife and I are lost at what to do, but I don’t think we’re the ah.",AITA for taking my daughters key,NTA
10xiqok,"I am in college and currently in a core, capstone class for my program. (So it's a pretty important class.) We are doing a group project that's worth about 75% of our grade, and the first day of class me and 5 other people put a group together. The assignment isn't due until mid-April, but because its fairly large and super important, we were trying to get a head start.A few days later, someone else adds their name to our group via the google doc the professor sent out with all our group names. Not a huge deal as anyone could be in any group, but still kinda annoying. I reached out to her via Canvas (if you're unfamiliar, its what some schools use for assignments/grades) a few times asking for her phone # to add her to the group, and she never replied. I emailed her twice the following week, still no reply. My group and I spoke to the professor about our concerns with getting ahold of her and she had me email her again. If we didn't get a reply within 72 hours, we could remove her from the group. She didn't reply, so we emailed again letting her know she would be removed from the group per our professor's instructions. This was last week.Today, in our class whatsapp group, she randomly appears saying she hasn't been to class and asked what she was missing. Then, she private messaged me saying she was in my group and missed school because her mom had been in the hospital. She hadn't seen ANY of my messages and didn't know about them until I brought them up. My group wants to add her back because they feel bad about her situation, but I find it suspicious that she couldn't even check in once over multiple weeks and don't really believe the story about her mom being in the hospital. I feel like she's been slacking off, realized part 1 was due tomorrow (our group already submitted it!) and realized she should check in.So.. AITA for not believing her and not wanting to add her back? This assignment is super important and if we dont readd her she'll def be screwed over and have to do it on her own.",AITA for not letting someone rejoin the group project?,NTA
10xcgtt,"Okay I go to a school for people with autism , I'm obviously not gonna say where . But there's this boy who shall not be named.  Anyway so today we had a class called zoo life and naturally i went into the classroom and sat down in my usual seat . All is well and good until he walks in.So he sees a Waterbottle on the table of the seat next to me and says "" Can you move your water bottle "" and it wasn't mine so I say "" it isn't mine ."" And then he gets annoyed and says "" well who's is it then ?!"" I got frustrated because I've had problems with this boy before so I calmly as possible said "" I don't know but it isn't mind ."" Although admittedly I sounded annoyed and salty when I said it .The teachers explained that another boy put his water bottle there to claim the seat and that they were still many seats to choose from.  But he insisted on having that seat and wanted for the boy to come back from the bathroom to basically have him move the waterbottle so he could have the seat. ( At this point he had already decided the seat was gonna be his and was sitting in it .)So that matter was settled and class began . Now for some information,  I am also autistic and for some reason I have a habit of shaking my legs alot even when I don't realize it . I don't think it's anxiety because I do it even when calm but that's not the point . I don't really have control over it . So suddenly the boy turns to me and said "" Can you please stop shaking your legs "" ( he already knew I was a leg shaker from the last time he sat next to me in class and didn't like my legs shaking but at that time I just ignored him when he said about it , partly because I couldn't understand because he was muttering ) but this time I heard him clearly and I was quite annoyed as well as frustrated so I said "" I can't help shaking my legs . And I don't know why you would sit next to me if you didn't like me shaking my legs . That makes no sense. "" He went quiet after that and seemed angry .The sense of him being angry made me nervous so I called a teacher over and explained the situation and what happened , and that I was feeling nervous he was going to get angry if shook my legs again . ( I've seen him get angry in the past with other people .) The teacher assured me it was okay and that I didn't need to worry about shaking my legs . So I just continued the rest of class and it went without issue.Basically I think I might be the asshole because I  gave him a kind of salty response,  didn't try harder to stop shaking my legs ( even tho I can't really control it , I could have at least tried ) , and for telling the teacher on him .",AITA for telling my autistic classmate that he didn't make sense and tattling on him to a teacher ?,NTA
10wurzh,"My boyfriend (M39) and I (F27) are living together and have a toddler. He never did his part as a father and never ""helped"" around the kid. After we started living together (Europe/Balkan) his mother came from the US to live with us. At first I thought she came to be with her grandson but it turned out she came to train me to cook and clean after her son. She claims that men don't do housework, and she constantly wanted to put me down whenever she could with passive-agressive comments (one of them was that my brain doesn't work and I should see a shrink because I was forgetting things in pregnancy due to hormones). I was always too good to all of them and I wanted to avoid fights so I just kept quiet for months.After the labour we had a huge fight basically she said it was my fault my son had an umbilical granuloma (what kind of a person would blame a woman that just went through the labour for something like that), then added I will be a terrible mother and destroy his life. Boyfriend was there and just kept quiet. Then her sisters and brothers came from different parts of Europe and they would all stay too long (for like 3 weeks) and acted as if it's their own house. I realized that no one respects me there, they kept waking up the baby, they expected me to cook for them and bla bla. I told them I won't, I told them I don't want them to be loud after 10 pm and I want them out of the room when I'm putting my, now, toddler to sleep and that my boyfriend NEEDS to work around the house as well and take care of his son otherwise I am leaving. Now they all act as if I'm the biggest asshole in the world, as of right now boyfriend who is about to turn 40 in May doesn't talk to me because of this. Am I the asshole here?",AITA for setting boundaries with boyfriend's family since he didn't,NTA
10wv5w9,"My (21F) brother (19M) entered my room this morning at 7am and asked if he could borrow my airpods to take to work with him for the day because he doesnt have his own (not sure if he would have even asked had I not woken up, but he did ask nicely - at first). His reasoning was that he will be working in a factory all day and ill just be home not using them, and id be a bitch to not let him borrow them. (I have had a bad experience from letting my sister borrow a previous pair of airpods that i owned and she lost them, since then i splurged on some new expensive ones and I like to keep them on me and am very careful/possessive with them, I didnt like the idea of them being in someone elses ears, and the possibility of them getting wet/dropped unbeknownst to me).When he realised I would not change my mind after arguing, I saw him swiftly snatch them from my bedside table and walk out while muttering about how selfish and what a bitch I am. I followed him out and told him that I saw him take them and to give them back. He flat out lied to me and said he did not take them. I kept saying that I knew he had them and went to find them. I started searching the pockets of his clothes and then he took on an annoyed tone and said ""I do not have time for this"". At that point, I was very irritated with his lying and so raised my voice and said ""no, *I* do not have time for this"".Sure enough, I found them in his pocket and I took them back. However, at this point, my mum (who is always up at this time in the morning anyway) entered the room and immediately jumped on me for raising my voice and ""causing a scene"". This is a woman who has no qualms about yelling and ranting if something ticks her off and she's had a bad day. She angrily asked me ""whats going on??"" she said no words to my brother. I tried telling her about how he just took my things and lied to me (at this point I was really frustrated and so still had a bit of a raised voice but nothing crazy, she was also accusing me of just willy-nilly accusing my brother of taking my airpods ""without any proof"" which was a bit infuriating because she was not hearing me out, if she did she would know the fact was that he did take them) and she just aggressively said things to me like ""why can't you help out and help your siblings?"" ""shut up the neighbours will hear you"" ""take control of your own life"" ""learn to hide things/put them away so that this does not happen"" etc while waving her finger in my face. She turned to my brother and asked in a calm normal voice for him to ask me before borrowing something next time, to which he responded that he did and that was it. Nothing was mentioned about his disrespect or blatant lying towards me.I have also had issues in the past with my siblings constantly rummaging through my room and helping themselves to my things, and my mum's solution was always for me to just ""hide things better"".",AITA for yelling at my brother in the early morning over Airpods?,NTA
10xmzsp,"My (26F) BFF (26F) and I have been friends for 14 years…she means the world to me. I just don’t know who she is anymore. She’s genuinely someone I don’t recognize. She has NEVER agreed with any relationship I’ve ever been in, male or female, she has always picked them apart to the point I felt I could NEVER share with her. No one could ever treat me good enough. Fast forward 2021 she and her boyfriend break up and she is needing a roommate, we talk and talk and we move in together. There were some very ugly parts; controlling who I have over, when I have anyone over (even when I  was home alone and she was at work,) my door must be kept shut bc she has cats and doesn’t give the cats the care they need to keep them from pottying everywhere, her clothes ALWAYS n both washer and dryer, NEVER takes out full trash or cleans up her dishes, I had to buy communal products (cleaning supplies, paper towels, trash bags, etc.,) how much space I took up in the kitchen despite having not adjusted ANYTHING of hers (I have the tiny ones above microwave and fridge.) Many cons. Pro- I got to have a space for my boyfriend and I to be together all night (when she was at work) after spending many nights in the car or in hotel rooms just to be close. She mentions him paying rent- I discuss it with boyfriend, he’s fine, we are all fine paying significantly less than most people for a roof over our heads. All bills split 3 ways. One bedroom, one bathroom, 2 tiny cabinets in the kitchen, some space under kitchen sink and some space on laundry room shelf. I mention it’s not fair, how we pay for 66% and have NO space. She has the master bedroom, 2 closets within, and all three closets throughout the apartment, majority of kitchen. I go on to mention this MULTIPLE times to which she ignores saying “I can’t do this right now.” Her door wide open all day, as she sleeps (3rd shift,) and I’ve mentioned how I feel like a prisoner in this room because I’m afraid to wake her. Last week she accused us of having sex in the middle of the day and how hard it was “sleeping next to a porno being shot next door” and how “we might as well be having a threesome” she slammed the door SO hard it woke us up (we were not having sex we were asleep) and it knocked photo frames and decor off our wall and broke. I can’t stand living in this box anymore under her rule. She expects immediate action taken when she has a “problem” but the problems she causes me are and have been effecting the quality of my life since I met her. Am I the asshole for giving up on my BFF of 14 years and moving out next month? I know she will not be able to afford this place without us. Any action I take to remedy the issues I have with her go ignored for months until I mention both of our needs in our home being unmet again and she explodes. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive her.If anyone else treated me the way she has she would be livid. I do not feel like her friend anymore. I give up.",AITAH for giving up?,NTA
10xp9u8,"So I'm an artist (selling on etsy and at conventions like furry/anime/comic). I started my art business in 2016 and after many years of struggling and ""learning the ropes"". Not everything you do sells and it takes time to develop a storefront.My business started as handmade plushies. These kind of plushies usually sell anywhere from 50$ usd to 200$ usd as they are completely handmade. As my audience grew, I also added patches (which dont sell as high or well but I love doing them) and enamel pins (which sell great and have a good mark up). I'd also love to design plush that's made in a factory in the future.I like to think I do pretty well. Usually at small conventions I come home with 800-1000$ PER DAY of the convention, so I cover all my expenses and come home with a chunk of cash. These conventions only usually have 500-2k attendance. Covid did slow my progress a bit, but I'm working on bouncing back over 2023, including hopefully doing some large shows, streamlining my art process, and expanding my enamel pin line.So the disagreement comes with a new boyfriend. We get along insanely well on most things. He's super supportive and wants to help me in the future (he worked at social media companies so I'd gladly accept his help with that), but he often brings up other things I should make. Some examples are making blizzard products because of the popularity, working with conventions on branded plushies (it'd have to be with a factory and this isn't something I've done yet), and other things that are super popular or ""untapped market potential"". I do some fandom stuff already, but only stuff I'm well knowledged in and can geek out with at my table.My brand is soft and cute. Think blues, pinks, cute kawaii faces, soft fabric. The kind of thing people fall in love with and have to have. I really don't feel like doing anything else - I already have my own ideas of expansion - and I've dug my heels in a bit everytime he suggests one of these other things, saying it's not something I'm passionate about. And that buyers will know this, as well as there being a huge risk if something doesn't sell.I don't want to say he's the asshole (he's just trying to be supportive), but it's upsetting to me. He says things like ""actors do a movie they don't like to further their career, then one they don't like"". Or that I could just make another brand work on at the same time, but my resources (money, time, mental capacity) are very limited. It also just hurts to be working so hard on what I love and be told I should do other things because they could sell really well.I just want to keep working on what I love. I hand grand plans to work towards already. Maybe it's just because I'm an artist and I'm too in love with what I do. But I see other brands that have done what I do and I want to go in that direction too (tasty peach studios, anxiety fox, mothmouse).Am I the asshole for sticking my feet in and saying that I don't want to do other things?","AITA for insisting I stay ""on brand"" with my art?",NTA
10xmxxz,"I'm in my 30s and haven't been doing great financially or emotionally. I've been crashing with my aging mother for the last almost 3 years. We don't have the best relationship. In fact she's always been rather smothering, and I felt that getting her approval and not being able to get independence until well into my 30s is largely her fault. She did what she wanted with her life including moving to a different country and bringing me along with her, which was fairly stressful and something that I don't think I should forgive her for. She's also extremely cold and possessive and pushy at the same time. Think tiger mom. Anyway, my emotions toward my mom at this point is just sadness, guilt and disgust for how much time I've wasted and how little she was willing to work with me to even let me cook for myself. Despite getting a degree and trying at a number of jobs, I haven't been able/willing to work the last couple of years. Unlike my workaholic sibling to which she always compares me to, My work track record has been average with working in year long stretches in IT gigs and sometimes lulling in unemployment for months and dealing with bouts of depression/severe anxiety and what seems to be ADHD and trying to hack it on my own, I ended up crawling back home.She's been pushing by holding an inheritance over my head and telling me how unsatisfied she was that my current job (service industry) was beneath me. Anyways, after her badgering for over a year and not supporting any of my attempts to gain skills such as giving me some space to learn to cook on my own etc (basically asking for a couple of hours a day of scheduled time to have kitchen to myself so I don't have someone over my shoulder), I figured I'll take the help, as my shitty work situation wasn't working out and even if this inheritance will come with strings I may be worth it to just bite my tounge. Low and behold somehow the inheritance vanished, she tried to invest the money somehow and probably fell for a scam. I know I'm basically the one at fault, but do I have a right to tell her that it's fucked up that she held this over my head for over a year, and tried to control my life when not asked.After year of hearing someone show only worry, and then telling me I won't get hired to ""motivate"" me, my parent ends up losing it all from a dumb financial move. I feel sad for her and stupid for having that option in the back of my mind.Do I have the right to tell her that I'm upset. Despite my protesting, I kinda relied on the help  in the back of  my mind, after having to put up with badgering or am I the asshole for complaining about not receiving something that's not mine, despite it being promised?   EDIT: Just want to clarify that she wanted to give me the inheritance while still alive and badgered me fairly frequently in dissatisfaction with my currently admittedly shitty job situation. I refused because I wanted to see if I could hack it on my own and didn't want further dependence, until current work situation proved unsustainable.",AITA My mom lost my inheritance. Am I the asshole for telling her I'm upset?,YTA
10xl3iv,"Hi everyone,I (22F) could use some help figuring out if I'm the asshole in a situation with my sister (25F). My sister and I are roommates and friends, but we can also act like catty sisters at times. This weekend is the WMO and Superbowl (We live in Phoenix).  My sister asked me if I could pick her up from her friend's house in Tempe on Saturday afternoon or evening after going out.*Note: We don't live near either location, but travel will be in the Phoenix/Tempe metro area*I suggested that she either Uber home that night (which could cost hundreds) or sleep at her friend's house and have her friend drive her home the next day (when sober). Mostly suggested because I don't want to drive most days, especially on a weekend as busy as this. However, my sister wasn't happy with my suggestion and felt like I was trying to get out of doing something for her and that we exchange favors for each other. She pointed to last month when she picked up my dogs medication from the vet and paid for it when I asked. So, AITA for suggesting my sister take an Uber or stay overnight with her friend during a busy weekend in town? I feel like I'm trying to do what's best for both of us, but I'm not sure if I'm crossing a line.Thanks for your help!Also - I mentioned I was gonna post here to get an unbiased opinion. She has an account, so I'm wondering if she will see this and agree if I gave a fair representation......",AITA for suggesting my sister take an Uber or stay overnight with her friend during a busy weekend in town?,NTA
10xp6xs,"I am 17 in college (UK so not university) doing b tec psychology and law. the law coursework is a lot longer and has a deadline of may whereas my psychology has a deadline of friday this week. the assignment started a month ago and after teaching finished, we had 9 lessons to do the coursework.there are 2 people next to me who were playing chess for 2 of the lessons and were talking through most of the others. the person next to me is an ok guy called 'Chris' and one next to him called 'sam' who is a POS.right of the bat, chris didnt come to the first 2 teaching lessons so he was already behind. they would play chess whenever we had time to start our coursework in the teaching lessons and they would play chess online or talk during the entire thing (distracting me by making me talk with them). on lesson 6 my teacher started to check them regularly and even bring them outside the class to put them on learning plans to get them to do it outside of lessons.when there was 4 lessons left, chris was asking me what to do and i gladly helped and even sam. sam started to make 'jokes' of following me home and would say 'i will k\*\*l your cats' and start laughing. i knew they wouldn't do it but it shocked me since i told chris long ago and his cat was run over on december too.sam would make these cruel jokes about forcing me eating my cats and stuff like that so i gave them the silent treatment (i helped them a lot after this). i would bring my laptop from home and they mess with my computer and try and take out my charger plug and they would take my checklist and think it was funny. yesterday, it was the last lesson for the last 2 lessons chris has not been in lessons so it was silent between me and sam. yesterday he sat next to me (normally chris sits there) and was asking me for help on the first section of the coursework (we had 2 DAYS left till submission) a girl behind me (who also made cruel jokes about my cat) asked to see my timeline (which was section 2 so she was behind) and another said if she could take pictures of my whole coursework 'but copy any of it' but i said no. sam insulted me timeline but still took pictures of it. once when i was telling sam the harder stuff, he said i was 'pulling shit out of my ass' because it didn't make sense to him. i stopped helping him after that and when he asked i said 'you never helped me at all when i was struggling' and he probably havent finished the first section yet. i feel like i ATA cause he needs my help but at the same time he treated me horribly so i shouldn't help him. i am conflicted if i was right or not since i let him take pictures of the checklist so he should be ok. AITA for not helping him when he needs it the most?",AITA for not wanting to share my coursework with people who insulted me and my cats 3 days before the deadline?,NTA
10xl2jg,"I (22f) have two little sisters who I’ll call Lucy (20f) and Charlotte (17f). Lucy and I are both in university at different schools, while Charlotte’s in high school. I am currently studying in one of the top universities in my country in a well-known city, so it’s easy to get a bus there. My boyfriend (24m, we’ll call him Joe) and I share an apartment kind of far from my campus as my bf works from home. Tonight I got a call from my mom. She was frantically crying saying she and Charlotte had a huge fight before school started, and she hadn’t shown up to school. When my mom looked at Charlotte’s computer she saw she had booked a bus ticket (my sister doesn’t have a driver’s license yet as she continues to fail her test, which is part of the reason her and my mom were fighting) to my city. My mom asked me to go pick her up at the bus station and have her spend the night with me and my Joe, and then drive her back the next day. Joe and I share a car, and he was out with his friends using it (we only need one since he works from home). I called him and told him what was happening and he went and picked up Charlotte from the bus station. Since it’s a weekday and I have class tomorrow, I had to figure out a way to drive her back. I knew I had important tests everyday until the end of the week, so I couldn’t exactly skip class to spend the day driving her there and back (6 hour drive each way) until at least Saturday. Joe and my sister get back and Charlotte just goes into our spare bedroom and shuts the door. I explain to Joe what’s going on and ask if he can drive her back tomorrow. He says he can’t because his company is downsizing employees and if he wants to keep his job he can’t take the day off for something like that, as someone already had a similar situation and got laid off the same day. Alright, I’ll just call my mom and ask if I can book Charlotte a bus ticket back. I call her and my mom says that Charlotte has been really sneaky this past couple weeks with lying so she doesn’t want her talking the bus because she’s afraid she’ll get off and stay. She said she’s not comfortable with her flying either, unless I go with her. First of all the tests, second of all I can’t afford two tickets. So I tell my mom the only option is for me to bring her back over the weekend. Upon hearing that, my mom goes ballistic on me and says that if I don’t bring her baby back she’ll cut me out of her will. I ask her why she doesn’t come get her, and she says her car is broken down, she can’t handle the bus (germaphobic) and there are no flights out this week. I hung up on her, and now she’s turned Lucy against me and my dad (parents are divorced but remain friends, my mom has full custody because my dad lives abroad). Joe thinks she’s put me in an impossible situation, and that Charlotte can just hang out with him while he works. He says she’s 17 and can handle herself. I agree but I don’t who’s right here, and if I should skip my tests and drive her home.AITA?Edit: I talked to Charlotte, and apparently our mom has been pressuring her about one B that she has because apparently our mom developed high expectations for her after Lucy and I got into good universities. She basically snapped on her for all the mistakes she has been making and how she needs to do better. So she came here because she figured I’d understand, since I was expected to be the role model.",AITA For not driving my sister back?,NTA
10xgx9z,"Sorry guys, it’s a long post! TL;DR ~ our landlord and his wife are careless and disregarded tenants’ rights. My partner (F20), myself (M21) and a mutual friend moved into our current house 9 months ago. We were able to rent it for much less than it should have been due to our friend being the landlords niece. We’ve had constant problems with the house due to lack of care from previous tenants (also both related to the landlord) and the landlord himself. These include:-Cleaning the internals of the washing machine as our clothes came out smelling foisty (pipes were caked in thick mould). -All the pipe work underneath the sink as mould had rotted the plastic away. -Our bedroom door decided the handle wanted to stop working, locking my partner in there. (She’s diabetic and I had to remotely give her insulin through the door). He lives about 5 minutes away from our house and took his time showing up. He ended up kicking the door and breaking the handle off it. He still hasn’t replaced the door so we have a gaping hole in it to this day. -All the radiators had thick dust balls made up of cat hair from the tenant from before the last guy! The fridge also had cat food, toys and fur underneath it. -We had a mild rat infestation and while this isn’t his fault, he told us *he’d* call pest control and left it two months before doing so. Today was the last straw. We’re moving out soon and he told us he had an estate agent to coming this Monday, so we spent the day cleaning so it looked good for the photos and possibly get him a higher value. Now, you’d assume that was the end of it, but no… Today (Wednesday), I came back to find the front door unlocked. A woman came to the top of the stairs and said she was the landlords wife and she was here to clean up for the photographer, who was coming later in the day. I rang my partner and roommate asking if they knew anything and neither did. I wouldn’t have had an issue but the state she left the house in was atrocious. Obviously I didn’t expect her spring clean but she just made more mess. The washing up bowl was full of pots and she put it in a cupboard under the sink, causing oil and dishwater to spill all over the inside of it. She shoved stuff into cupboards and wardrobes and items in our drawers had been moved. She had also left an expensive frying pan in the oven which was then turned on later by our roommate and she didn’t check the inside of the oven. It has melted the silicone handle. I read online that while the landlord owns the house, it’s against the law for them or anyone else to enter the house without our knowledge. If she’d taken more care and if the landlord gave a toss about his tenants, I wouldn’t have minded as much but all his done is complicate things. So Reddit, WIBTAH for reporting him?",WIBTA for reporting our landlord?,NTA
10xexcu,"my girlfriend (19F) and i (18F) are longtime close friends with another couple (19F & 19M) who moved to another state a little over a year ago. in november, i bought my girlfriend and i tickets to go visit our friends, as we hadn’t seen them since this time last year when we also went up to stay with them. i triple checked that our friends would be available for the dates booked, and they assured me they were. fast forward to yesterday, 10 days out from our trip. my girlfriend and i have been excitedly anticipating the trip, texting intermittently with our friends about it, reminding them of when we will be coming. until i get a call from them, in which they tell me that they have both accidentally booked to go to a DIFFERENT state with her dad on the exact same dates we are heading up. in fairness, this trip wasn’t exactly intentional; her sister had been the one initially meant to go but something came up for her and so her father had invited our friends along instead. but in accepting they had completely forgotten the dates of our trip. to my girlfriend and i, this was devastating as we had been so incredibly excited to see them and felt unacknowledged, unappreciated and also intensely frustrated that they could forget the dates so easily. our plane tickets were non refundable, and would cost an exorbitant fee to change - our friends offered to pay half of this, but my girlfriend has recently started full time work and to change her requested leave 10 days out would seriously jeopardise her position at the company. here’s where our friends think we are the assholes. the frustration lead to an extremely heated group chat exchange, where our friends were clearly upset by our frustration. i can definitely admit we could’ve handled it better but we are absolutely panicking about plans changing at last minute. they were very confused as to why changing leave wasn’t an option, with comments such as “i didn’t know changing a week of your leave was such an impossible task” despite us explaining that it is a brand new job. to me, this felt like major deflection when we were the ones hurt and put out in the first place.they were also suggesting us going into quick crisis mode and planning to stay with family friends instead is demonstrative of us not putting effort in to fix this, rather than trying to save our trip that is non refundable and in less than 2 weeks.  it has now devolved into what feels like a potentially friendship ending fight, in which our friends are saying we are overreacting, and i want to know if we are the assholes for being frustrated and hurt by this.",AITA for overreacting when friends forgot we were coming to visit them?,NTA
10xkrku,"Couple months ago my grandma passed away of old age, we were close and this was the first funeral I attended. After which in her will she gave her house and possessions to me, which I am  grateful for. Also worth mentioning that my 2 aunts and cousin have been living there for a 2 years now. Now cut to present time, due to interest rates increasing and my dads debts from not making enough profit the previous year we have decided to sell the home I grew up in. My dad will move to his mates place by a river and I'll move into my grandma's place. This is where the problem comes in, my aunt has cleaned up the room I will be staying and I told her that I'm planning on sell and donate her old things. Cloths, jewellery, bit and peices of furniture etc. I also told her she can keep whatever she wants from my grandma's things but whatever is leftover I don't plan on keeping, she then seemed to be taken aback and said then she will keep everything and bring it to her room. After which I got a message from my mom saying I can't sell her things because it isn't mine to sell even though it is. Tldr: am I being insensitive for wanting to sell and donate things I don't need or want?",AITA for wanting to get rid of most of my dead grandma things.,NTA
10xgp24,"This is my very first post on reddit. So pardon me.I'm from India (27f)My very close friend gave promise to his friend (Sia) that she could come to our city to look for job. And he would arrange her accommodation for few days. He couldn't manage it till last minute so he asked me if Sia could stay with me for 5-6 days?As I live alone, I agreed for 5-6 daysFirst few days were nice. But then I started noticing that Sia is not sending resumes or giving interviews or looking for job etc.She used to wake up at 3-4 pm in afternoon and it started annoying meI saw my main door open many times while Sia was sleeping carelessly. it pissed me off so I shouted once.She started crying etcI calmed her down somehow as she was friend of a friendVery next day I was sitting with my another friend, I was in a really bad mood and they both were irritating me. So I asked Sia to bring food. She got offended that how could I order her like this. I again calmed myself downBy this time, Sia is living with me for more than 15 daysThen my birthday arrived. It has been tradition for years that on my birthday evening I go to my friend's place. His family throws a party for me and we celebrate. I told this to Sia days ago.In my apartment there's a rule that tenant can't leave apartment to someone else, so I told Sia to come with me. When I packed my things to go to my friend's place, Sia started doing her drama again saying I'm not comfortable going there etc.PS she had met my friend multiple times. She knew it was a big bungalow with full family. It was just her stubbornness that she didn't want to goListening to her 'I'm not comfortable dialogue. I lost my temper. I just stormed out. I was really pissed and annoyed. I decided to focus on my birthday and deal with everything later.When I came back to apartment she was packed already. And left early morning without any prior bookings or anything.Now I feel bad that I should not be these harsh on her. Pl Reddit tell me AITA to behave rudely with Sia?",AITA to kick my friend's friend out of my house?,NTA
10x1f0a,"For context: my bf (27M) has been having money spending issues since before the start of our relationship, we have been together for almost 13 months. I have been trying to get him to safe money and stop spending it so carelessly, but to no avail. This resulted in him having little to no money every week. I (23F) work a full time job with a great pay. I safe up a lot to buy or rent a house later and I usually also pay our  groceries, dates, his clothes and other necessities since I still live with my parents and don't have as much bills as he does. I didn't really mind at first since I could afford it but now it's been almost a year and I have talked to him about it because it started to bother me that he doesn't safe up money but rather spends it on alcohol or other things he doesn't really need, while I pay for so much. I told him I'd stop paying for most of the stuff since it costs me a lot of money and I don't want keep enabling him for spending his money unwisely. He was totally okay with it and agreed with me. Now my bf wants to celebrate his birthday this upcoming weekend. He wants to go bowling with some friends and have some drinks afterwards. Sounded like a great plan, but I can't go bowling because of my bad right arm and I can't hold a ball with my acrylic nails, which he knows about. I told him I won't participate, but I will be there to celebrate his birthday and overall have fun with them while watching them beat eachother in bowling. He said that was totally fine and was just happy I'd be there.Today he wanted to make reservations for his birthday. Everybody pays for themselves, but I don't have to pay since I'm not participating. Still he asked me for money again because he was 13 euros short to pay for himself, thus almost leading to having to cancel his bday. I said no, I'm not bowling and I don't wanna pay for others, plus I wanted to keep my word on not just giving him money again. He called me selfish for not wanting to pay and he called it ""not wanting to contribute to him having fun"". I told him it wasn't that, it was just that I don't wanna pay for something I'm not participating in and he gets paid by friday anyway. He now uninvited me to his birthday and told me not to come see him this weekend, while he knows how important celebrations are to me so I'm pretty hurt by this right now. I feel like I'm only good enough if I have money to spend on him, but I'm being left out it if I don't have the money or don't wanna just give it freely.I can afford it and I have the money. But I don't wanna say yes again and him not learning from it. I will be paying for my own drinks and stuff tho. Either way he asked his mom and she gave him the money. So he doesn't have to cancel and can still celebrate his bday. So AITA for not wanting to give him my money for his birthday?TL;DR: Boyfriend uninvited me for his birthday because I dont wanna pay for bowling which I'm not participating in.(English isn't my first language so sorry for any mistakes)",AITA for not wanting to pay for my boyfriends birthday?,NTA
10x1993,"I'm traveling, so use coin operated launderettes to do laundry. I came back just before the washing machine finished to find all the dryers are full, but ones got 10 minutes left. No one else around After browsing Reddit for 20 minutes still no sign of anyone coming to take their clothes, so I take them out and put them in the basket carefully, and put them on top of the machinePut my clothes in, 5 Minutes later the owner comes back and flips out, how it's bad to touch someone else's clothes and how I should have waited as long as it took because he doesn't want others touching his clothes (specifically his underwear was his issue)He asked me ""so you think I'm the motherf***er here?"" Said I didn't think he was a mother fucker but didn't think it was that much of a big dealHe apparently cared so much he's paid to use the washing machine againLike, I literally wouldn't care if I came back 15 minutes after a cycle had finished and someone had taken my clothes out to put their's in. I'd expect it reallyAm I alone in this? Or do I suck too?Edit: grammarEdit 2: lots of people saying NTA are giving the exact reasoning I gave him, probably won't reply to you all to avoid being repetitive, you've all got my upvote though",AITA for taking someone's laundry out of the dryer,NTA
10xkc60,"So my friend has this wired thing where if you ever speak in a criticizing way to him or negatively he will go mute and cease all communication for a few days before coming to his senses. I love this guy but it’s very frustrating when he does this or other things like call him out for backing out of plans without telling extra. So I one day snapped and just let loose and started complaining and calling him out for his bullshit among other things, he has avoided me and is angry at me and when I try to reconcile and logic my way through this he tells me to fuck off and such, I feel a little guilty. Am I the asshole",AITA for confronting my friend?,YTA
10xbpf4,"Currently residing in my hometown, where my wife doesn’t want to be, but she also doesn’t want to live in her hometown. I’m not steadfast in staying here but need to move in a career direction that is appropriate (compensation, role, responsibility, etc).  My wife has never worked (inside of our relationship, but she does have a masters degree in education).  She wanted to be a stay at home mom and we created 3 wonderful babies.  I have enabled this through my work and career progress while delivering her high standards of living.  Nice house, nice car, vacations, etc.  I received a job offer that pays me considerably better and has an explicitly spelled out succession plan to a national role (which would be remote) immediate role is factory based and requires relo.  The general area (mid south - Kentucky) is where we had previously resided and from a climate perspective is much more temperate than current location (Iowa).  She doesn’t want to deal with snow any more, and while this doesn’t eliminate it entirely it improves it dramatically.  I recently turned down a role in coastal Georgia bc the pay and cost of living was way out of balance.  She initially agreed that she wouldn’t want to make the sacrifices necessary to live there, either dramatically reducing living standards or getting a job to contribute.  Now that that opportunity has passed she continues to hold onto it as the only acceptable scenario and she doesn’t want to move if it isn’t the ocean.  Am I the asshole forcing this and believing that our arrangement is such that I provide and she supports?   I have some fairly conservative view points, but not extreme, I’d never prevent her from working ive been supportive of her desire to raise our kids.  But neglecting an opportunity to improve my earnings significantly and have a clear path to promotion is just not smart.  Am I a selfish career obsessed narcissist or is she an entitled brat?",AITA Forcing a relo for work … aita?,YTA
10xcbge,"Background info: my car has been in the shop for the last three weeks because the part that’s needed to fix it isn’t made anymore, and the shop owner can’t find a used one under the mileage of my car. So my family and me have reached the same conclusion that my current car is a lost cause and we’ve been trying to find a cheap used one for me to have for work commutes.Now to the issue: yesterday was my 29th birthday. I’d forgotten ahead of time to request the day off so I knew I was working that day in advance. I was a little irritated at my forgetfulness but whatever. A lot of what happened over the course of the day was minor but I’ve been dealing with newly diagnosed mental health stuff, so it kind of compounded on top of that. 1: I woke up with a throbbing sinus headache that I couldn’t get rid of. 2: only three people I’m friends with even remembered it was my birthday. 3: and to top it off, my parents stopped by with with balloons and a cupcake to wish me happy birthday but then immediately told me I’d have to budget payments for an $8,000 car loan because we haven’t managed to find anything used and reliable. They know I’m struggling financially as is with my new medications and felt my birthday was the perfect time to drop this news.Fast forward to work, at this point I’m just straight up depressed and want to be alone. So I kinda isolate myself from my coworkers. Come break time, I’m meant to receive my “birthday gift” from my boss. It’s one of those typical corporate birthday celebrations where all of your coworkers watch you receive a cake and a card and clap for you. I really didn’t want to be celebrated in any form at that point and just stayed away from the break room, head on my desk, trying to think of anything I could cut out to afford a new car payment. My boss tracks me down and demands I come to the break room for my celebration. I adamantly refuse and he got upset with me and he sent me home for being rude.So now I work later tonight and feel like crap for not just sucking it up and receiving my cake and card, was I in the wrong? AITA for not wanting to accept my “birthday gift” from my boss?Edit: I wasn’t verbally rude to my boss. When he came to find me, I told him I was having a bad day and didn’t want to be celebrated. He insisted I come because he already bought the cake and card the day before. When I again, apologized and refused, he sent me home because I was being rude.Edit 2: the reason I’m hung up on the “only 3 people remembered my birthday thing” is due to some insecurities regarding my younger brother (27). He’s always been way more outgoing and has way more friends. On his birthdays he will get tons of his friends coming to his house with gifts and offering to take him out partying. Meanwhile I can barely get three of my friends to remember to send me a birthday text.Edit 3: I’m a guy btw.",AITA for not wanting to accept my “birthday gift” from my boss?,YTA
10xm2d7,"English is not my first languange so sorry for any grammar mistakes. My mom (43) planned a trip with the family (her sister, me and my girlfriend) out of the country. We were very excited to come since it has been awhile since we last travelled together but suddenly my mom wanted my sister (6)  to come which is diagnosed with severe autism when she was 4 years old and my mom is still in denial to this day. I recommended specialist before and other doctors but she ignored it (that’s another story.) I’m doubting coming to the trip since my sister has an occasion to throw things when she does not get her way, cause pain to other people, pull people to undesignated areas which are not allowed, and have severe tantrums. I do not blame my sister and I know that proper treament can help her but my mom is still in denial that she has autism which I understand is hard to accept and I’m convincing her all the time. I told my mom that I think we should not let my sister due to her problems that would be difficult in another country that we are not familiar with and told her My girlfriend and I will not come if she persists. My mom is sad and my family agrees with me but I feel like an asshole for what ive done. So reddit AITA?",AITA if i don’t come to our trip if my autistic sister goes with us,NTA
10xiiqh,I know the title sounds a bit shitty but hear me put. So I 14f have a little brother 7m just little over a year ago my mother got him a turle for his birthday. Now let me just say since then my brother has barely done anything for it. He doesn't feed it change its water or even checks on it. I do all of that and sometimes my step dad will help. Now here where I may be TA I've been asking my mama if she could give the turtle away to a better home because I feel it isn't even happy hear. But she'd get mad and say why would she give the turtle away and that it's not my turtle it's my brother's. I stopped asking a while ago because my step-dad would put his two cents in but it's like nobody except me even cares for the turtle. I really just want it to have a better home and be happier but am I really TA?,AITA FOR WANTING TO GIVE AWAY MY BROTHER'S TURTLE?,NTA
10wvm1y,"Personally I don’t like the idea of “matching” tattoos, whether it’s family or friends because it may set a bad omen as I’ve heard matching tattoos could potentially be the starting point before they eventually split or fallout. The other day my sister and my mum ‘suggested’ we (all 4 of us) get a family tattoo, in which I declined. They kept asking over and over at different times why not. My family has a really (conscious/non-conscious) bad habit of talking over me mid sentence. I have my reasons why I don’t want one but I can’t properly communicate it to them because… they’re literally just not listening. Not to mention their tattoo idea isn’t a family agreed idea, it’s more so a “my idea is better than yours so we’re going with”. Their idea is to get an infinite ♾️ symbol that’s meant represent family forever. You could probably guess at this point, I don’t get along *very well with my family so the tattoo would be meaningless to me. I should also mention that I (22M) haven’t got my first tattoo yet (I’m getting it next month actually) and I don’t want my first one before that to be family picked. my mum then says I’m being stubborn, whilst I’m saying they’re being a little selfish. So, AITA for telling my family that I don’t want a matching tattoo?",AITA for telling my family that I don’t want a matching tattoo?,NTA
10xoc3c,"My wife and I (26f, 29m) recently moved into a new home. For the past few years that we've been married we lived in an apartment but we were recently able to buy a nice but modest home.Here's the issue. In our old apartment our bedroom door was to the left side of our bed. I don't remember what prompted this decision but I always slept on the left side of the bed, which was the side closest to the door. Over the course of a few years I got used to it.In our new home our bedroom door happens to be to the right side of the door. Since I've gotten used to the left side of the bed that's where I want to sleep. However my wife insists that the ""gentlemanly"" thing for me to do is to sleep closest to the door. When I asked her why she said ""Because if an attacker comes in you're blocking him from me."" I told her that this was absolutely silly; number one it's not likely that we are going to be the victims of a home invasion and number two if we are then our sleeping positions are almost certain to have zero impact on how the ordeal turns out for either of us.My wife admitted that on a practical level I'm right but stated that ""symbolic gestures matter."" We've asked all four of our parents and apparently they all agree with her assessment, with my father going so far as to tell me to ""Stop being a baby and take the door side."" I still think she's being silly but the unanimous support for her position makes me question that. AITA?",AITA for refusing to switch the sides of the bed with my wife?,NTA
10xlwa6,"My roommate has moderate dust and pollen allergies and recently placed an air purifier into our room to try to alleviate her allergy symptoms. The problem is that the air purifier constantly emits a high-pitched white noise. It's relatively quiet, so I don't really notice it during the day due to other background sounds, but at night when the room is otherwise silent, my mind fixates on the noise and I can't sleep no matter how hard I try. After a few nights of this, one night I turned it off once she was asleep so I could get a few hours of rest. She noticed in the morning, and I apologized for not asking her beforehand and explained how I did it because I couldn't sleep with the noise. I asked her if from now on it would be ok to keep it on during the day but turn it off at night. She said she wants to keep it on through the night to keep the room ""sterile"" and that there was nothing she could do about the noise. I want her to do whatever she can to make her symptoms better, but it's been affecting my sleep pretty badly. I also feel bad for touching her item without asking first, but when I did ask politely it didn't elicit a good response either. AITA?",AITA for suggesting a roommate compromise?,NTA
10xjwl3,"Just for a little bit of background, her and I used to be really close and I was close with her kids (my nieces) but my husband and I split up and the family naturally took his side and his parents blocked me on social media the day after I left. Our child is very close with her children so for the sake of the kids, I kept her on my social media as I hoped one day we could be friends again and our kids could go back to having sleepovers once the dust settled.Her and her brother always had a tumultuous relationship and fought a lot as he was abusive and she’s an alcoholic. She posted a picture of him that just said “my best friend!!! ♥️♥️♥️” which is good, I’m happy they are repairing their relationship but it felt fake and intentional knowing I’d see it. I felt I didn’t need to see that stuff anymore as he and I aren’t together, so I made the hard decision to remove her and accept that I lost more than just my husband during this split. I left him because he was abusive and my daughter and I have been living in a shelter for months. She never once reached out to ask if we are okay and have food etc. But today she texted me to say “I see you removed me from all your socials and that’s fine. I was hoping we could keep things kosher but whatever. I just kindly ask that you remove all photos of my children from your Instagram. I don’t feel comfortable with their photos being there if I don’t have access to it.” I said no, because my daughter is in those photos too and it’s my social media which is private and she said “I don’t give a fuck if your kid is in them, take the fucking photos down!!!!”She’s done this before when I posted a video or photo of my child and her husband was accidentally captured in the background… he hates his picture on social media and the whole family goes out of their way to scour and remove any pictures of him that accidentally make their way online. In the past I removed important videos of my daughter just to keep the peace even though it hurt but this time it’s different and it angered me because she’s purposely stirring the pot. After months of her niece living in a shelter THIS is what she’s concerned about? I blocked her after that so there’s been no more contact but AITA? Should I have taken the photos down and just not even reply to her? Photos of her kids on my social media has never been an issue before, so why now all of a sudden?",AITA for not removing photos of my sister-in-laws kids?,YTA
10xjtwl,"WIBTA if i chose to live with my dad instead of my mom?Okay, a little bit of history first. My parents split up in 2018, and got divorced a couple of years later. I’ve been domicile with my mom since it all began, visiting my dad every other weekend and such. My oldest sibling (20) lives with him, while me (16) and my two brothers (13 and (18) live with my mom. My mom and I…don’t get along. I love her, but out relationship feels so tight.Recently, she yelled at me and told me to get out of the house. (not in a way that was “kicking me out”, just that she couldn’t stand me anymore and I needed to get out of the house for a bit.). So I did…I went on a walk, crying and stuff, and called my dad because I was really upset and none of my friends were responding. My phone died, so he was worried, and drove up to check on me. Then my mom drove by to bring me back, saw my dad, and lost her shit…she called the police on him, told him he wasn’t a real parent, he didn’t have custody, etc, etc. police show up, (i’m having a panic attack), and my mom tries to show them the divorce papers. Turns out my parents have split custody…my mom always told me she had full custody of us and seeing our dad was a “privilege” or something…we never had any choice of where we could go. Turns out, where i live, any kid over 15 has the full choice to decide which parent they live with, as long as they’re able to care for them.My mom also calls my dad abusive over the smallest little things. Like, my phone was breaking, so my dad bought me a new one…my mom said he was manipulating me by buying me stuff. Obviously, this is probably just insecurity acting up on her part, but i’m still really really hurt. I just wanna love both of my parents, but my mom is constantly making me feel like if I “choose” my dad it’s betraying her. My dad, on the other hand, every time I tell him about conflict with my mom, encourages me to work on having a healthy relationship with her. (He’s a kid of divorce, so I think he understands how hurtful it is for kids to be put in between the conflict with their parents)...I want to live with my dad…I think I’d be happier, better…idk…this place stresses me out so much it's even harder to function…but I would feel guilty, I could ruin my relationship with my mom…and I don’t want that.​Reasons why i’d feel bad* Mom would feel betrayed* Could ruin already shaky relationship* Hurt siblings* I’m afraid of the conflict* Afraid mom would lose function without me​Reasons why i want to do it* Can be more open to dad* Mom acts paranoid, makes me feel like it’s her or my dad* Calls dad abusive, dad just wants me to have good relationship with mom* I think i’d be happier, less avoidant, want a home that feels like home…not a place i feel like i’m constantly trying to escape* Mom wants to control me, i want to learn how to control myself and become a responsible functioning adult",WIBTA if i chose to live with my mom instead of my dad?,NTA
10xfiqj,"Hello everyone. I am 25M with a disability. I always get really happy and excited when I see a non-disabled person interact with a disabled or a special needs person in the most positive and in a beautiful way or include them in stuff. It warms my heart because I feel happy that the others get to be surrounded by loving and wonderful people as I was surrounded by mean, toxic and horrible human beings growing up and had to be alone, this includes my own family and I would never wish this on my worst enemy.Now, I was with my brother (27M) and his friend, James (27M) at a coffee shop and we were standing, and another family walked by us, and they had a  low functioning down syndrome teenager, maybe 14? and he went up to James and asked for a hug, and James laughed and even gave him a hug and chatted with him, and of course it made me so happy and all warm. And I told my brother that it was so sweet, and my brother said ""who cares"". (He is not empathetic unlike me). After it ended, I felt inclined to say thank you to James, so while my brother was grabbing our drinks for us. I told James that I appreciated that he interacted with that guy in the most beautiful way. I even said that I had appreciated that James had always been kind to me. Before James could even reply to me, my brother jumped in.He told me to shut up because I was saying something so stupid. I was shocked and I said what is wrong with being happy that there is a level of acceptance and equality between disabled and non disabled?My brother said that It is good to be accepting, but  asked why did I have to thank James. I said that I was never treated that kindly, and I was treated horribly and bullied even and it made my heart warm that other people are so nice to the disabled and I appreciated how kind James is to me too. My brother disregarded me and said that I had an amazing life like my brother and It was so unnecessary to thank James. That made me pissed off, and I went off at my brother at how we all have different lives. I told my brother that just because he had an amazing life growing up does not mean that I had one. My brother called me a overdramatic, and told me that It is just so dumb to say thank you after a positive interaction and to stop projecting my insecurities onto my brother and he was being honest. I said that I just appreciate that the world is not that cruel to other disabled people unlike how it was to me. My brother got annoyed and we argued for a bit more, and then we just moved on. so AITA?PS. (Before anyone asks, Yes James loves me, but I do not see him often. Yes, James and I tried to become friends but then my brother got in the way and made us to stop talking so much to each other.)",AITA for thanking my brother's friend for a positive interaction.,NTA
10xo37f,"So me (38m) and Gina (40f) have a daughter of 9 months, Julia. She is the sweetest and happiest little human being.We live in different households, me alone and her with Julia and Claire (9y). Claires father takes her 1,5 days a week. Claire is very close with Gina, we do come along but it's clear that for her emotional wellbeing she needs a lot of time with her mom (she's okay with me helping her with schoolwork and stuff though). I'm taking care of Julia 10 to 12 hours a day for five days a week. Gina has to prepare her master-thesis and wanted to work on it while Claire is attending school. Lately she said she couldn't really work as while I watch Julia cause I am not taking care enough of the housework. Problem is that for me her household is total chaos while for her everything is perfectly arranged. She is diagnosed with ADS and it makes absolutely no sense for me how she handles her tasks. On the other hand she totally get's things done so for her it worked out til Julia came.I tried to do more but the problem is that it drives her nuts how I do things. I know how to take care of an appartement, I worked 15 years in nursing homes and was in charge for up to 20 residents. Her place is really stuffed and for example she has towells of 7 different sizes. Each size has it's own place (not different shelfs in a cupboard in the bathroom but 7 different cupboards all over the place) and all of them are folded differently. Food storage, cooking pots, dishes: everything is arranged in a sort of system I'm incapable to understand. So I have to think a lot when doing the dishes or the cooking which annoys her because I'm being ""too slow"". When I'm loading the dishwasher she will be redoing it just to get one more plate in. Also I am not allowed to make mistakes. When I don't get it right the first time, Gina will be snorting and telling me to let her do it. She thinks that I'm doing things poorly on purpose so she has to take care of everything. I tried to explain how I just don't get it why there are four places for oil and where which bottle belongs. She can't explain her system she just knows it worked for her so it must be my fault that I don't get it. She can be very rude and when I dpn't like being called names multiple times a day she says I'm tone policing her and that this is just the way she communicates (which is true, she is like that to everyone except her kids). She says I knew that she was like that which is also true but this was one reason we saw each other like two or three times a week before Julia was born. So yes I am basically just looking after Julia right now. Last time Gina said I'm cherrypicking on carework I snapped but thinking about it perhaps I took the easy path and I should just suck it up. It's clear she won't change and after all it's her place. So aita for actually not doing enough?",AITA for not doing enough housework?,NTA
10x5yb0,"I (20MtF) dont want my parents to go to my therapy session, my dad thinks I’m selfish because of it. For context I can’t drive. Because of where I live, that basically means I’m not capable of leaving the house because town is just too far away to walk to. My college classes are online, but beyond that there’s just not much to my day to day. I’ve been going to therapy for years for a variety of reasons and my parents have across the years gone into my session maybe a handful of times. Across multiple therapists it always ends the same, my dad and I arguing as he tells my therapist why he thinks I’m not actually trans or why, even if I am, I should just stay in the closet all my life. My current therapist has had the pleasure to see this exactly once, I’ve been able to keep my sessions to myself otherwise. I’ve told my dad that this is basically the one time I get to leave the house and have something actually private. He kept insisting that he go back with me but I was able to put my foot down. My last session I was diagnosed with autism. One of the first things my dad asked me on the drive home was “so does this mean you’ve changed your mind (about being trans)?” Yikes. He then demanded that he and my mom go back so they can learn about autism. When I repeated my usual shtick about it being my one place he yelled at me for being selfish and not “giving him one session”. I eventually caved but didn’t feel good about it. AITA?",AITA for not wanting my parents to go to therapy with me,NTA
10wvmnl,"*Necessary premise:* *I'm not mothertongue so please forgive any mistake, and obviously throaway with some details modified/concelaed for privacy reasons.*​So, I met this person while volunteering for a local association.We were more or less the same age, we were the only ones with kis, and we volunteered in the same branch so we became pretty close, even though we chatted more via web than not in person.I'm not a TV fan, actually I don't know any TV famous face, so at the beginning I didn't know that they were married with a tv celebrity: their partner is an advocate for a political party that is at the opposite end of my spectrum.However, I always thought that the partner exaggerated their opinions and ideas to catch an audience, and probably in real life they would be both more moderate. After all, we shared the same value of our association, and that meaned something.We never talked about other values and views of life, we just tacitly assumed that we had different opinions.Last year we met during an holiday and spent more time together: surprise surprise, they were not more moderate. I have been naive and optimistic, but believe me, in two weeks we were ALWAYS on opposite sides of EVERYTHING, from civil rights to cheese for pizza,  there was no common ground that we could think about.So, I began to put some distance between me and my friend, and I thought that they were doing the same for the same reasoons: only a handful of messages, no more long talks on instant messaging, and so on. Meanhwile, their partner gained a lot more fame, and now they are everywhere on our media, always, day and night.Last week, the partner was in a morning show and crossed the line, throwing an accusation towards people like me that never in my life I can tolerate (think something like “they are all murderers” or “they don't deserve to be considered equal”). There was some outrage about it, but my former friend thinks that their partner is right and what they have said is true.I went NC, but I didn't tell them why, I think it's more like ghosting, unless they ask me directly why.Problem is: I feel bad, I don't like to be the person who disappears, and I don't know if I should show some support towards them, that are currently swamped by criticism and shitstorms.AITA?",AITA for leaving a friend in need because until now I didn't believe they are an extremist?,NTA
10xgg4f,"My husband and I have been living for almost 2 years together. This includes saving up money together.We have already saved atleast $2500 in the total for 2 years of living together. We are now on our way to our first $3000.He is born with a family that can afford most of their wants and needs. My own family doesn't live very well, we change locations every 2 years because of our rent.Last year for my husband's birthday, we were earning $500/month (combined) by that time, we spent the day going on a roadtrip, it was absolutely fun. Spent around $30-$50 or so, but it was worth it.For my birthday, we both lose our low paying job so weren't earning much for that month. He bought me a $5 gift, and I was spending my bday washing a ton of clothes and taking care of him because he was depressed by that time. The next day I went home to my parents, spent my bday with the least we could because they thought I still deserved a celebration.For this year, we are now earning $1000/month (combined), my husband decided to spend $160 on his bday. He took all of his salary for his next cutoff and designated it on this upcoming bday. I felt angry, I feel like he is always ready to use our savings anytime when he wanted to. Aside from this, he always get his budget directly from our savings while I have a budget of $50/month including food and transportation on which I am also spending it on him as well.I am earning $300/month, he told me he deserves this bday because he is earning a lot more than I do. I have never gave support to my parents, I never treated them in a nice restaurant, been always spending gifts less than $15 for them, I feel like I am not giving them enough. I give my whole salary to my husband, but now I have 2nd thoughts.tl;dr Am I the asshole for not wanting to spend too much for my husband's bday?",AITA I don't want to spend too much on my husband's bday,NTA
10xf3y0,"I’m best friends with who I’ll call E. We’ve been best friends for a couple years now and act like we’ve known each other for all our lives. We call often and hang out every Monday after school because that’s the only time I can really hang out for long with anyone. Recently, she got a boyfriend who I’ll call DJ. They started dating around a week before Christmas and they also call kind of often. However, recently I’ve been getting upset because I will text E and send her videos, ask if she wants to call, and try to talk her but she will only really give autopilot responses when she’s on the phone with DJ. It pissed me off cuz today all 3 of us stayed home. E and I weren’t feeling well but I didn’t know DJ also was home. I had been trying to talk to E for hours sending tiktoks and trying to spark a conversation. Around 4 I asked if she wanted to match profile pictures on Instagram and then saw she changed hers to match with DJ which was weird that they happen to change theirs right before I asked. By the way, we have a group chat with all three of us because sometimes E is too nervous to be otp with just DJ and asks me to call the group chat. Anyways, DJ texted in the group chat “Ma bad dawg beat ya to it” and I asked if they were otp because he only texts in the groups chat when I’ve texted E and she says my message out loud if it may have something to do with DJ if otp. E said yes and I asked if they had been otp all day and she said yes again. I asked if that’s why she wasn’t answering my messages all day. She said she had been(she gave a few responses when I texted her right after she answered a text). She said I was only sending tiktok’s and I said she wasn’t replying to my actual messages. She asked if I was upset and I said yes because she could’ve just said that they were otp and I would’ve left her alone. Anyways, in the group chat she asked if I wanted her to tell me whenever they got on the phone and I said when she sees I’m trying to talk with her then yes because “it’s actually common fucking decency to do so but you clearly lack that.” I know that was harsh but I was really upset because she keeps doing this and gets awkward when I mention about how this makes me upset and at the moment I didn’t care about how either of them felt. We talked a bit more and it basically was me being sarcastic saying good job and keep up what she’s doing and me leaving her on seen(which also happened when I was upset and hadn’t cooled down yet).This has happened several times before within the past month and was the reason I was very motivated to go to a mental health clinic last week to start seeing a therapist so I could try to understand why I was so upset about this and other personal reasons. I had ignored her for a couple days after that but we made up and she apologized and said she didn’t mean to make me upset.My overall question is am I in the wrong for being upset about all of this?",AITA for ignoring my best friend?,YTA
10xnnje,"Hey!! This isn't an interesting post and mostly fueled by my own anxiety, so I'll try and keep it brief. Not a throwaway because my boss doesn't use reddit (or so I hope). I (19F) work an overnight shift at a 24 hour gym. Part of the reason I got my job in the first place was because I have a lot of mental health issues that stem from abuse that happened to me around 5-6 years ago. I find working in an environment with little people around not only helps my mental health immensely, but the fact I work around very little people, coworkers included, means I can focus my effort on work entirely. I can clean and organize without people trying to talk to me often, and when I sell a membership or service to someone, I can do it easily because no one is watching. Whenever someone is over my shoulder at a job, or when there's a lot of people, I always feel like one wrong slip up warrants me getting horribly hurt by whoever I messed up with/did wrong by, and the fact I rarely feel that at my job is a massive weight off my shoulders. My boss (34M if it matters) is still very intent on getting me in on day shifts in order to bud rapport with my coworkers, despite my job description never entailing that I would be working day shifts. I hate working day shifts, both because of the sheer volume of people who come through the doors, and because of my coworkers themselves. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure they're good people, but the majority of them don't tend to interact with me at all. They yell, swear loudly in front of customers, and fight with each other on an often enough basis it makes me uncomfortable to be around them. That, and I'm horrible when it comes to being around such high volumes of people. Don't get me wrong, I've had sales jobs before and dealt with situations like this, but it makes my anxiety bad enough to induce panic attacks, especially when I feel like I'm doing something wrong. We recently got a new sales manager whi my boss wants me to meet in the form of working a full day shift, which is something I really don't want to do/am uncomfortable with doing. I want to tell him that I'd be more than happy to come in and meet her on my own time, but I wouldn't want to work a day shift just based off my anxiety alone. However, I don't want him to perceive me as a bad employee or someone who hates their coworkers. He knows about my abuse/some of my mental illnesses, so while he knows I wouldn't be lying, he could get upset at for me for not doing something so basic. I'm mad at myself that I can't just get over myself and do it, but...I really don't want to. Would I be an asshole if I told him I didn't want to work a day shift, and if not, how would I even tell him?",WIBTA for saying no to my boss?,NTA
10x6w4i,"I (21F) have been dealing with my boyfriend (24M) commenting on my looks a lot. I am a bigger girl (tall and sturdy) and I have dealt with eating disorders in the past, as well as body dysmorphia. I do not like people commenting on the way I look in a negative manner. I have told my partner this before, and he tells me that he likes the way I am. However, there will be times where I feel like he unnecessarily talks about my looks. I sent a picture from 2.5 years ago where I felt pretty and loved my outfit, which I told him. He responded with “meh” and said he’d rate me a 4.5/10 in it. I got quite upset by this, to which he thought was ridiculous, since to him I’m “usually a 9”. I told him I did not want my appearance to be rated. Awhile later, he started telling me how statistically unlikely it is that I would ever find someone who is as good a match for me as he is. Then started saying how most people on earth wouldn’t find me attractive in the first place due to my height and weight. He then said that to the average person, I would be maybe a 6 but to him I was an 8. I asked what made my rating go down, and he said that he always said I was an 8, never a 9.  I told him again that I do not like being rated or told how unlikely it is other people would ever find me attractive or be interested in me. He then started rating my friends as an attempt to make me feel better. Then he said I had no reason to be upset over being called an 8, since it is 80% and that’s a “good rating”. After that, he said “well, I guess maybe I wasn’t completely honest with my rating of you.” and said he “probably” rated me too high.  We then later had a fight that he ended by calling me a worthless pig. He says I have no right to still be upset that he said that, since typing it and sending it made him cry and feel bad. Last night he said something like “I don’t usually like bbws, but you are attractive to me”. Then (exact quote) “I think if you would lose some weight I would think you’re perfect but I also like how you are now.” After this I explicitly said “please do not comment negatively on my weight or appearance. It makes me feel awful about myself and like I have to starve myself to truly be loved by you.” And he said “sorry, won’t do it anymore”Today he brought up “what if a skinny girl did _____ for me?” and is mad at me for getting upset that he brought weight and appearance into it again. I brought up his comment from last night and he said “when I say I like you more if you lost a bit of weight it is like a 5% increase in looks and what’s most important is health.” I workout weekly and hardly eat half the time. I don’t like him making these types of comments. He says I am insecure and that is not his fault. He can have thoughts and opinions about this kind of stuff, but I do not think they always need to be shared, especially when it will knowingly hurt someone’s feelings. Am I just too sensitive?",AITA for not wanting my partner to comment on the way I look?,NTA
10xbpx9,"I (16m) just started driving a car. My dad used to drive a 2002 silver Toyota Land-cruiser with almost 200,000 miles on it. He got a new car a couple months ago and gave the landcruiser to me. it’s in a pretty bad shape and i’m not even allowed to drive out of city with it bc my parents are afraid of something breaking. Yesterday i scheduled an appraisal meeting with my local dealership to see how much money it could fetch me. I have a job and i think pretty soon i should be looking for a new car, the money i’m making from my job plus the the money from selling the car could have the car payed off before i even move out. But my parents think that if the car gets sold they should have the money.  There’s no chance that i’d be able to afford a car without the money from selling the car, and there’s no way they would use the landcruiser if i bought a new car. I really don’t know if i should feel entitled to the money made from selling that car. i know that legally, it is my dads car, but i can’t help but feel pissed that they won’t help my afford a new car.Edit: Grammar mistakes, also btw i haven’t had to do maintenance on the car yet but when i needs maintenance i’m gonna be the one paying, i also pay for gas 2nd Edit: thanks for the advice y’all, opened up a lot of stuff, i think i’ll pick up the conversation later when i have a new car and still not consider the money that would come from selling the landscaper as mine. y’all actually some likeminded ppl",AITA for trying to afford a new car as a highschooler,YTA
10xkt1x,"My sister (23f) lives in our parents house and has a job of her own. She pays nothing in the house except for some of her own expenses like shampoo and clothes and sometimes her own food (which she has yelled at us for eating), but she does not (and has never since she got a job two years ago) contribute at all to anything like the light bill, water bill, house expenses, doesn’t buy food for our pets, doesn’t pay any of the streaming services the family uses, doesn’t contribute to the expenses of the family car (which has needed a LOT of work in the past year), etc. She pays nothing, lives here for free, has a job, and is an adult fully capable of understanding financial struggle. We’ve been struggling a little for the past month so today my mom asked her to pay the light bill with her credit card because we’re past the due date and it might get cut off soon, and that she will pay her back as soon as she gets her paycheck by the end of the month. My sister got angry, said no because she wants to buy herself a pair of shoes she’s been eyeing for a while, and that it’s wrong of my parents to rely on her because paying the light bill for this month is too much pressure and that they’re wrong for putting that pressure on her. Mind you they’re going to pay her back. I got mad and called her out, told her she was selfish (with much harsher words tbh), and told my parents they should honestly consider kicking her out. AITA?",AITA for calling my sister selfish?,NTA
10xc7ir,"My exgirlfriend (F25) and I (M23) broke up days before our three year anniversary. We had mutually come to the conclusion after going over all of our issues. Our roommate (25F) had been one of these issues. My ex had issues with the way me and my roommate would chat about the dogs or work. My ex would claim there were all these coincidences of me and my roommate heading out at the same times to take the dogs or go the store. Eventually my ex just flat out accused me of sleeping with our roommate behind her back. To clarify, I’ve never so much as accidentally brushed up against this girl. Anyways long story short. My ex and our roommate had a blowout when she confronted my roommate about how she was feeling and our roommate left but we had actually become pretty decent friends over the time being. I told my ex that I wasn’t going to stop being friends with her even though it made her uncomfortable. AITA?",AITA for Hanging out with my Ex’s Ex-Friend?,NTA
10xh06j,"For context I live with my dad and sister neither of which seem to care about me. My dad has anger issues to the point of where I am afraid to talk to him. He makes comments about my weight ALOT and my sister does nothing to help me and even says hes just frustrated because he has a problem with his leg I've said that isn't an excuse but then I just get the threat that since I turned 18 two months ago it isn't considered child abuse if they do anything now. They've threatened to get rid of my cats which are both emotional support animals.And I know some will think I am over exaggerating but I've literally been on the phone with my friends and gf and they have heard them say this stuff over the smallest stuff (didn't do my hair the way THEY wanted, accidently putting clothes in the wrong drawer, and even just cleaning too slow.) 2 days ago they literally waited til I called my gf and started berating me for "" Looking like a homeless person"" just because I didn't straighten my hair. They then proceeded to say that they were going to start taking away my phone and laptop if I don't start doing it. They're both mine that I paid for. Their names are not on them.Me and my gf have been discussing me moving to her state and renting a place there for us. We discussed the pricing and where we would live in my room while they weren't there. Somehow either they have tapped my calls or they are using some sort of listening device because they know exactly where I plan on moving and keep bringing it up how that's so disrespectful to consider moving away. They have refused to teach me how to drive and now everytime I turn around they want me to pay for ridiculous stuff and have even demanded me to give them money for cigarettes,vapes, and alcohol. I keep finding money missing each time I get over $300 and it's starting to feel like they are doing everything they can to stop me because ""It's disrespecting them that I wanna move"". I do not see how it's disrespectful. I could be overthinking it however and they could be right about them ""just doing it because we care about you""and ""if ur kids don't say they hate u at least once we arent doing a good job"". But I don't see exactly how because imo parents shouldn't belittle thier kids and get away with it.Also one final thing, I know I'm an adult now. However, I am still in school and do have mental problems which make it hard for me to do everything perfectly. I probably couldn't live alone due to my anxiety causes panic attacks easy, I can pass out for a couple hours at a time but I have my gf who has always stood by me even from afar and we plan on moving in together. Sadly although I wanna take both my cats One I don't think is safe to fly because she's possibly a senior, and the other I keep hearing them talk about getting rid of her. So I am tryna move out asap. But I do wanna know if I'm the asshole. No matter the judgment though I am gonna move.When yall address me please use they/them or just Op okay?",WIBTA if I move away?,NTA
10xn3rw,"Back in 2018 my neighbours were moving to UK and asked if we could take care of their 2 pet rabbits.I bonded with the rabbits and i had it for 5 years , when the neighbours moved back here a few months ago they didnt ask their pets back as i had it way longer than they had.  when i told others about this , many were saying i was an asshole for not returning pets to their owner and i was only asked to take care of them. so Aita?",AITA for not returning my Neighbours pet?,NTA
10xifkb,"My fiancé and I recently got engaged and are starting to plan the wedding. For some background, we have been dating for 4 years. In the first year we were dating, my fiancé lost her dad unexpectedly. My fiancé and her family became very private and worried since then which I understand. her side of the family is also very little compared to my relatively large family and family-friends. Now here comes the issue. We were each planning to have 5 people on each side for the wedding party. One of the 5 groomsmen is my fiancé’s brother ( my sister is one of the 5 bridesmaids too). We agreed on our 5 and also agreed that her brother would also be the one to walk her down the aisle. Then, my fiancé spoke to her mom, and her mom told her that her brother can’t be a groomsman because he can’t walk down the aisle as a groomsman and then again to walk my fiancé down. I reasoned that he can do that if he wanted or just walk my fiancé down the aisle and just join my side afterward rather than take a seat. I talked to her brother and he is fine with either option. But now, my fiancé’s mom is saying he can’t just walk my fiancé down the aisle because that would mean one of the bridesmaids would be walking down the aisle alone, which takes away from the bride. I dont really agree with that or see why it’s an issue to have any bridesmaid walk alone or even just have the brother walk twice as a compromise. Instead, my fiancé’s mom is insisting my fiancé’s brother walk her down the aisle only and we have my fiancé’s cousin be a groomsman instead. I argued I wanted her brother and he was good to do both, and I don’t want her cousin to be a groomsman because I’ve only met him a handful of times, he’s much younger (17), and I barely know him. If I am being forced to have a replacement, I’m not sure why it wouldn’t be my choice. Now my FMIL thinks I’m rejecting the cousin to spite her family. I’m not, I genuinely just don’t know him and I have cousins on my family side I wouldn’t choose either for the same reasons. Id much rather have a close friend. We also have my fiancé’s other baby cousin being the flower girl and that’s really the only family on either side being involved. I think my fiancé’s mom feels inferior due to the differences in family dynamics, but I’m not sure why it has to be like that and why we can’t all just celebrate together without sides. So, AITA for not wanting my fiancé’s cousin to be my groomsman? I most likely will just back down and let the cousin be a groomsman if it’s that big of an issue, but really wondering if I should.",AITA for not wanting my fiancé’s cousin to be my groomsman?,NTA
10xadn2,"I'm in serious need of outside views on this as it's starting to ruin my relationship.I (25F) did not know my biological father until last year when I found him via ancestry DNA. I have made really close connections with him and his sister. We live in the UK and I have a great nan, aunts and cousins who are in Germany. My aunt asked me if I would be willing to go to Germany with her for my great nans 98th birthday and my cousins wedding and would be staying at a family members house.bI said I would love too and excitedly called my partner (M 34)Straight away this is where the problems start, he starts saying ""oh, no invite yeah"" and proceeded to say why wouldn't I want him there that it's a couples thing etc, he even went as far to say I only don't want him there as my cousin said about going clubbing while out there and I just want to find someone else. In reality, I just feel that this is family I have never got to meet and I feel that I want to get to meet them first before introducing them to my partner and that it's also not my place to be inviting anybody else when there's a wedding and such.His attitude wore me down over a few days and I eventually said he could come in order for the snide comments to stop and try to resolve this as i believed maybe i was being harsh.The issue was, they never did and proceeded to get worse as it was getting close to it being booked with him saying he doesn't even know if he wants to now etc..I then told him on Friday I would be going to book it on Sunday and to let me know before hand. This changed to Saturday due to aspects out of my control so i messaged him and asked if he knew yet and he started ringing me when I'm at my aunts stating I done this deliberately so that he wouldn't come and that I just want to go and act single and find someone out there among other things and he doesn't want too. So I booked it.Things were awful for days, before we sat down and spoke and he told me to just go and enjoy myself. In the weeks since then, I've had slight digs but just let them fly over my head until last night when he started all over again saying I don't act like I'm in a relationship by wanting to go without him, I only don't want him there due to the hen do. I tried to explain that I just want to meet and get to know my family and I would be going again and he would be welcome to come and he got angry and accused me of all sorts and I've messed with his head telling him he could go and then booking it without him and I should have known that he wanted too.So, am I the asshole?! Because my head is split in a million different ways right now!",AITA for not wanting my boyfriend to come with me to meet my family for the first time.,NTA
10xjyvu,"I (19 F) have a friend (19 F) who had a very serious relationship with this dude (20 M). For background information they had been together for a year and he broke up with her. Two days after the breakup my friend (for privacy reasons i’ll call her Sam) calls me and tells me that she’s not in a great state of mind and quote “doesn’t know what i’m gonna do if i’m left alone” Obviously i went to go see her because of that comment alone. Well she starts explaining the situation and openly admits she was a toxic girlfriend. She didn’t like that he had this one girl best friend (even though the girl was lesbian and in a relationship with another woman) and also the fact that they had been friends for years. She made him choose between her or him. He chose my friend and cut contact with his girl best friend. Not only that, Sam also made work for him miserable. She openly wanted him to stop working to be with her. When he didn’t chose to, she’d get extremely upset. Honestly i sympathize with my friend because i know she’s been screwed over by other guys she’s been with. She truly is a very beautiful person and has societies body standard so guys would tend to hit on her and use her for her body. Because of that she has trust issues. (she’s also been cheated on in the past). Anyways Sam would consistently text this ex boyfriend after he said he needed space from her. Sam sent him pictures of them together, gaslight him into thinking he was in the wrong the whole relationship, tell him he’s horrible for blowing her off for the girl best friend all the time etc… These past few weeks I haven’t spoken to her in a while because she has the tendency to forget who her real friends are to hang out with someone else, but i heard from a friend that Sam caused some problems with  of her friends. This friend of Sam went to a festival and saw the Boyfriend hang out with the girl best friend and her girlfriend and she decided to take a selfie with them and post it on instagram (they are both friends btw) Sam saw this and was not happy… Sam then blew up that friends phone and calling her every name under the sun. Basically saying she’s a wh0re and a terrible friend. And how she betrayed her trust because she “hung out” with him. Sam was ultimately acting as if they had sex or something. Here’s where I come in. I made a comment to my friend who told me the situation and three other people in out group. I said that Sam has an obsession with this dude and she needs to get over the fact that he’s moving on. My 2 of my friends agreed but one didn’t. She said that I was being inconsiderate of my friend and that heart brake isn’t a joke (which i get but still) Anyways AITA?",AITA for saying my “friend” is obsessed with her ex bf,NTA
10x85m4,"My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now. He and his ex had a bad break up and were basically strangers till about a year and half ago when she became a devout Christian and somehow they reconciled and became ""friends"". Somehow my boyfriend knows about her new relationships, break ups, and also knows that she's looking to get married to a pastor in the future. Recently, an Instagram influencer ran a insta story question poll asking married couples how they still keep their sex life active. One of the replies was from a pastor's wife who mentioned a few things they do to keep it active. Next thing I see, my boyfriend posted a screenshot of this particular response to the poll, reposted it to his WhatsApp and tagged his ex (Yunno, since she wants to marry a pastor). I felt very uncomfortable about the post and told my boyfriend that it's weird that he would tag his ex on a post with that kind of subject matter. He got defensive and told me that it was obviously a joke and ""if you say you don't like it then fine, I'll apologize but I don't get what you're saying"" and this just made me angrier and now we're not speaking to each other. I was so angry I didn't speak to him that day anymore and only reached out the next day but he's been ignoring me since. (It's been 5 days). We are long distance and all this was over the phone.Edit; As someone in the comments has helped me clarify. My issue is not about the joke being offensive by itself or to her, it's about referencing his ex on a post that talked about sex. It made me feel very uncomfortable.",AITA for telling my boyfriend his joke was offensive,NTA
10xegjv,"Wife and I are going on a vacation for a month. She and her older brother figured, he might as well stay in our place, while we are away.He is having a hard time financially, but this is usual. Wants to move to this city, get a job here, but that requires a place to stay.The flat is mine, I lived here before we have married each other.Imagining her brother being in my live space makes me uncomfortable, but it would certainly help him.I don't really like him. I am skeptical of the way he will live here, while we are away. And i dont want to risk him staying for more.Am i the asshole? Should I just take one for my wife's family?","AITA for not letting my wife's brother stay at our place, while we are away for a month?",NTA
10x5jy8,"So my dad died 3 years ago. We only established a relationship 2 years before his death, and it kept getting stronger.My dad came to pick me up every weekend so we could spend time together. When he died, it was as if my ground had been lifted, we were finally having a wonderful relationship.I couldn't go to his funeral, my mother took care of everything, besides that I was still underage.I didn't go by choice, I wanted to keep the vision of my father like the last time we saw each other and not him in a coffin.I hate going to the cemetery and having to visit it, because I don't think it's worth it, since he's dead and nothing will bring him back. But my grandma and uncle are always scolding me for not putting flowers on his grave. They say that now that I'm 18, I should start giving money to buy flowers to put on her grave, since my mother doesn't want to know.Why? Why put flowers? Nothing will bring my father back, and putting flowers makes no sense to me. They say it's a shame not to put flowers or visit his grave, and that people are talking.So, am I the TA for putting flowers in my dad grave?Edit: Thank you so much everyone, I will try to talk with my grandma and uncle",AITA for not putting flowers in my dad's grave?,NTA
10xe5ky,"I told my mom I wanted to take her to a Mana concert as they are one of her favorite bands. While looking at ticket prices, I called her up and was surprised to see they were more expensive than I thought they would be. I jokingly said “wow $120 to see this band? No offense they ain’t no Harry Styles.” I said this in a joking matter. My mom said maybe we shouldn’t go then she made an excuse to end the call. When I texted her back letting her know I was kidding, she said she wasn’t so into the idea anymore. I let her know that of course I was kidding, I grew up listening to Mana and I still wanted to go. I was just genuinely shocked to see the ticket prices, but I make a decent wage so of course I’ll still buy them. AITA?",AITA for jokingly criticizing my moms favorite band?,YTA
10x7f6u,"My 10 year old dog and I go to the public dog park often.  She was pretty playful when she was younger, but in the past few years as she's gotten older, she just stays by my side.  At this point, her only interest is getting pets from other people, she couldn't care less about the other dogs and rarely plays with them.  But she seems to enjoy being outside and loves the attention from other dog owners so we go because it doesn't hurt for me to socialize a little either (I am very much an introvert).I discovered her interest in laser pointers after visiting my brother and sister in law who use lasers to play with their cats.  So I bought one and this is her exercise for the day. She has arthritis and while I go on a mile walk every day, she can't come with. We only play with it at the park, never at home, and she gets a treat when we are done playing as a reward.  I also give her breaks while playing for her to take time to sniff around, say hi to people and other dogs, or play with them if she's inclined.  Majority of the dogs there ignore the laser, but some dog owners definitely notice.  Most don't have anything to say (not to me directly) or think it's cute, but I've been condemned twice now by random people at the park.  They say that this is ""unhealthy"" for dogs.   It can heighten their prey drive and give them OCD.  I think they actually named it laser pointer syndrome or something similar.  I will say my dog is extremely attentive at the park when she knows I have the laser with me and waits for me to bring it out, so I understand the OCD part.  However, I have seen no other behavior different from her normal, and she is not looking for the laser at home. I wasn't aware of the issues with laser pointers before, so I won't engage with other dogs going forward, but mine seems to enjoy playing this way.  WIBTA if I continued to use the laser pointer at the dog park?",AITA for using a laser pointer at the dog park?,YTA
10xjama,"Keep in mind we’re both teenagers (won’t disclose age but just 12-15) so basically when he comes over we setup his laptop in my room so we can play easier but basically we stay up until around 3:00-5:00 am. Due to him having a laptop and me having a desktop the heat from his laptop heats up the room quite a lot compared to my desktop so it’s I believe 3:30 am and we decide to just go to bed and he sleeps in our guest bedroom across the hallway while I sleep in mine. So I lay down and literally my room temp was 83 degrees and I’m still in school clothes a collared shirt and cargo pants so I just unbutton my shirt and take it off then easily fall asleep. Wake up and he walks in then starts yelling at me saying “Why aren’t you wearing a shirt, could’ve at least asked me” so I just tell him because it’s hot as hell and you’ve seen me shirtless at the beach surfing so why does it matter now? So basically we moved on after 30 minutes of arguing then we start playing again but later the next day he brings it up during school so AITA Extra info: I put on a shirt almost immediately after he started yelling, also I have a brother who also is shirtless but outside of his room which my friend don’t care aboutAnother edit: I wasn’t even in boxers I was in pants and shirtless so wasn’t even as bad as it could’ve been",AITA for being shirtless with a friend over?,NTA
10xlz11,"I’m 23 and live with my dad at the moment because I’ve been having trouble finding a well-paying job with my degree. I don’t do much besides sit around applying or doing small freelance jobs all day then sit around watching tv with my dad all evening most nights. I don’t really mind (aside from not having a real job), but I still take whatever sparse opportunities I get to go hang out with friends. Today I went out bowling with a couple friends in the evening. I let my dad know about the plans a couple days in advance and texted him when I left because it was a little bit before he got home from work. I was gone a considerable time- around 5 hours, because we also saw a movie and were just generally hanging out. I texted my dad a few times just asking how he and my cat were doing at home and to tell him I was bringing him home some food when I got back. I didn’t text him what time I was coming back and he never asked. I got back around 10:45 pm and he was still awake (usually he gets tired around 9-10 on weeknights but sometimes stays up later) so I just asked how his night was and told him what I had gotten up to. He seemed really annoyed and passive aggressive about it. I understand he was up a little later than usual, but if he was worried or wanted to know if I remembered my keys to let myself in he could have texted at any time. There was never any pre-established time for me to come home and I’ve never had a set curfew even as a teenager. I feel like as an adult it shouldn’t be a big deal for me to be out late, but the reason I feel like I could be in the wrong is just because I do still live in his house and I could have texted him when I was leaving so he had an idea of when I’d be back. I just feel like he could have texted to ask since there was never any time discussed or general rule in place and I had no idea he was going to stay up late waiting for me.",AITA for staying out late without texting,NTA
10xciyy,"I (F28) enjoy paper crafting and make a lot of handmade stuff. My ""specialization"" are paper cards, which I hand to everybody around me with and without an occasion, ever since my early teens. It's a common knowledge so no one is weirded out if they receive card for i.e. pangolin day or coffee day, or if they seem to have worse time. Actually, it tends to make my friends and family feel acknowledged and happy (or at least I heard so from some of them). Few months ago I started dating ""Tom"" (M31). It isn't anything overly serious yet but I hope that with time it will be. For every valentines I make few valentine cards for my friends and some family members. It isn't anything romantic - I use mostly floral patterns and write things like ""I'm happy that you're in my life"" or ""I'm lucky to have a friend like you"". Usually I give them to: my younger sister, my three friends (two women and one man) and my grandma, sometimes for someone else. Obviously, this year I plan to make one - more ""romantic"" than the others - for Tom too. Yeah, I know that it's childish but it makes me happy when I can show other people that I enjoy having them in my life. Anyway, few days ago Tom was visiting me and noticed paper flowers on my desk. He asked me what do I plan to do with them. I honestly told him that they're for my valentine cards. He asked if he should see them and if I wouldn't prefer to surprise him. I explained that these are for other people and who will receive them.Tom got upset and a bit angry. He told me that I can't be serious and that giving a valentine card for a male friend is ""giving an obvious signal"" and ""showing that I want to be involved with him"". He seemingly had no problem with the rest of the cards, though he found it weird. I told him that I was always doing so and that he's making a big deal out of nothing but it only made him more angry and shortly after he left home. Ever since that day he's rather cold toward me. I honestly didn't thought that it will be a problem. Tom IS aware of my hobby (since we started dating I already gave him few cards - on his birthday, for Christmas and one related to his favourite sport - he enjoyed them and thought them ""cute""), also he'd seen me working on some of my other projects. I know all three of my friends since my pre-teens/early teens and we never were interested in each other in romantic way. Should I stop giving my male friend cards only because I'm in a relationship now?AITA?",WIBTA for giving my male friend a valentine card?,NTA
10x7a8i,"Hi, I’m a 24m and I have my parent in laws (PIL) and nieces living with my small family. They always dropped the kids off at school and rarely ever let them walk to school. The schools are not even far from the house and we live in a safe neighborhood with no sex offenders and gang activity. My youngest niece is in 5th grade and the the elementary school is 2 blocks away from the house which is about a 7 minute walk or so. The youngest niece school starts at 8am. The 2nd older one has the furthest distance away from school and she rides the bus only from her middle school. She is in 8th grade and can take the bus in the morning to her school but my PIL say she has to get dropped off at school because we never know if someone will kidnap her. Her bus stop is at the elementary school where the youngest niece attends. Her bus arrives at the stop around 8:30am and her school starts at 9am. Finally the oldest one is a senior in high school and her school is about a 20 minute walk from the house and it is all main streets where other kids walk to school. She says it’s too cold to walk and that she won’t go to school if somebody doesn’t drops her off. The oldest one school starts at 7am. Whenever they have school the PIL usually drop them off but now as they are getting older and becoming more handicapped they look to us to drop the kids off. I get off of work at 6:30am and my current days off are Sunday/Wednesday and the time to get back to the house takes approximately 30 minutes or more. The oldest one will still be at the house complaining about no one taking her to school and my PIL are scolding my wife to tell me that I should have been home earlier to make it on time for them. On my weekday off they bang on our bedroom door to take them to school waking up our newborn daughter as a result and or sometimes come barging in our room while we sleep. I try to do the things they ask out of respect for them being my PIL but things have gotten out of hand. Whenever I refuse to take the kids to school they scold my wife again about it. She works a late morning shift until the evening. AITA for refusing to take them to school?P.S. There is other issues as well but it would take too long to type up.",AITA for refusing to drop off my nieces to school?,NTA
10x6k6z,"My family has always complained about the length of my (22F) showers… which I find ridiculous because I don’t take long every single day. what they don’t realize is that my hair is extremely thick, which is why I take longer than usual on wash days. and on the odd occasion, I see to my personal grooming which also tends to take a bit of time. they keep passing passive aggressive comments and arguing with me… and I’m starting to feel like a child. AITA for finally snapping and telling them that I’ll just pay the damn water bill?EDIT: I am brown, in most of our homes, children are not expected to contribute to any bills or rent or anything of the sort. And edit 2, a regular shower is 10 minutes, a “grooming” shower is 20 minutes. I’m usually the last person to shower for the day so that I don’t inconvenience anyone else.",AITA for being upset at my family for timing my showers?,NTA
10xgtz4,"Throwaway account.I m19 and best friend m19 (let's call him J) have known each other for more than two years now. We got to know each other because he joined my media company and then developed a relationship.Over the years we had quite some arguments but they were always due to work and we would brush them off and go on about our friendship and apologize to each other.This year started really well and we both have really good relationships. However some things started to happen since last Friday that has got me a bit mad at him.He traveled to another city on Saturday. However, that day we had many assignments and we all had a lot of work. He, 3 days previous to that, had told me that he would be able to take his assignments without any issue before the trip. But it didn't turn out that way - he told me on Saturday, last minute, that he had to leave earlier, and I had to take care of all his assignments alone, which was a lot of work for the entire day. We had a small discussion, but I gave in, apologized for reacting under the emotions, and moved on.We agreed he would only work until 12PM during the days he was away, and then have the afternoon off until the next day. However, same thing happened on Tuesday - he told me he needed to leave earlier (10:30 AM), completely breaking even the notice period we had agreed of 30 minutes. And it wasn't anything urgent that he was leaving for, he was just meeting with other friends which I think could have been delayed by 30 minutes so that he could finish his work. We had, again, another argument. This time it was a bit more serious than the previous one, but again, we came to good terms and apologized for being under emotions.Then, today I was burned out, there was quite an amount of work and I was a bit frustrated with how the week was turning out until now. J worked until 12, and everything had been good. But then we had a big argument in the evening because I felt some of his attitudes were unfair, especially because at one point he decided to ignore my messages, something which I have never done. I know, however, that this is an immature thing to get angry about. But even in periods when I tell him that I'm busy, or working, or just playing a game, or going out, he would still message me all the time and I would happily give in and reply to him. So, I didn't find it cool that he would only message me when it was convenient for him (for example, when he's bored at home without anything to do).Overall, a bad week so far. And I feel I may be responsible for most of it, because of getting frustrated with the situations and responding to them under emotions, which I know I have an issue with and I'm trying my best to control. We apologized at the end of the day and we said to forget the week until now and try again tomorrow with a clean sheet, but I still feel bad for what has happened and I feel I may have damaged our friendship permanently. AITA?",AITA really bad week of arguments with best friend,NTA
10xpmd6,"So I have a group of friends and we are all into anime. While I like anime, I’m a newb. I got into it from the encouragement of the friend group but mostly because I finally gave in from the pressure. We all usually hang out and do hobbies  that I myself don’t normally do but I’m happy to do it because I like hanging with friends. I’m a more outdoors type person. I love to go kayaking, hiking and camping. So I thought it would be fun to invite the group on an outdoor outing, to which they all made excuses (felt like bs excuses) on why they couldn’t go or flat out that they are not interested. This hurt because I felt the same way about trying anime. I gave it chance primarily because everyone else liked it and encouraged me. But they couldn’t do the same for me? A year ago we all went to an anime convention and had a blast. I throughly enjoyed myself. We all agreed upon going to the convention the following year. Well the convention is happening in a few months and the group has started to make plans for it. I was excited but then I remembered how they all blew me off with partaking in my hobbies (asked multiple times) in the past year. So I stood my ground and backed out. When asked why I told them the truth. Now they are acting as though I’m TA. I might go by myself or with another friend. I could go and have a good time but I feel disrespected. AITA?",AITA for not going with friends to a convention?,YTA
10xpkko,"Rant/ mildly long post I (f17) and my sister (f25) are pretty close . We live in our parents house. My sister (let’s call her susie) she has very mild ADHD and she gets babied by my parents (mostly my mom). In high school she would always get extra extra help from my mom (to the point my mom would do all her english papers,extended response, essays ect.) because she “didn’t understand it”. I believe that my mom should have helped her but not completely do her assignments. Moving on to college, she is taking a lot of english courses and needs help. She would constantly ask me and my mom for help. Now I am perfectly fine with helping her BUT I will not sit here and do the whole assignment for her. So for her first and a little bit of her second year in collage, my mom would basically do all her english assignments like i’m high school. I knew my mom was tired of doing this because she 1. was actively attending the same collage 2. was going to work and paying the bills and 3. told me up front how doing Susie’s  assignments was interfering with her job and schooling. So my mom stopped doing the assignments but still helped her when needed. The thing that pisses me off is that fact that my sister constantly belittles herself and acts like she can’t do anything. We never said anything to her negatively about having ADHD, we only spoke encouraging words when she felt down. She always says how she can’t do something because she’s “slow” or if she messes something up she says something along the lines of “it’s my ADHD”. It annoys me how she does want to try with anything. She is currently on her last year of collage and has some issues with english which is fine because we are there to help ofc. But not too long ago she yelled at my mom and that made me mad. My mom was at home but is doing her online job, my sister knows this and kept bugging my mom about needing help with an assignment. My mom says that she will have to wait a couple hours because she is in her zone right now with work. I don’t know why but, my sister got upset and yelled at my mom and went to her room. Everything’s fine now but it just annoyed me how she wasn’t considerate. Recently whenever Susie says comments about her ADHD. I tend to leave the room or roll my eyes. I’m just tired of her always blaming her ADHD for things instead of trying.AITA?",AITA for not putting up with my sister’s bullsh*t?,YTA
10xinwa,"this has been eating me alive, I've been thinking abt this nonstop and my birthday is next Saturday.  so I've had this friend that I've been friends with since 3rd grade (we're freshman in highschool now) and we've been through alot together, but recently we've begun to drift apart, i hate admitting it since after all these years ive been calling them my best friend, and im afraid of loosing them but i think it might be for the best.   recently they've been acting really mean to me, for example, i recently asked them to come over and stay the night at my house, trying to get close with them again.  and recently ive been interested in a show called bluey, its a childrens show but its entertaining, so i tried to watch it with them to share a new interest of mine with them. they kept insulting me for watching it and called me autistic in a demeaning way like 50 times, and theyre boyfriend (whos super fucking mean for no reason??) that my 'best friend' was on call with for some reason?? was calling me disgusting and said they wouldn't touch me with a 10 ft pole and my 'best friend' agreed.  they ended up leaving the sleepover half way through, and im kinda glad cuz i was feeling like shit the whole time.  another thing to note is that every time i try to hang out with them or invite them to parties etc, is that they're on their phone the whole entire time, and my last birthday they hid in the corner and did nothing but play on their phone...ik they're introverted but it makes me feel like they just aren't interested in hanging out with me, and whenever i look forward to hanging out with them they always let me down.  this birthday I'm going to scene 75, and since its pretty expensive my parents only let me invite 3 people...well, ofc i invited my boyfriend, and i invited the person who suggested i go to scene 75, i also invited a person that i only every get to see during lunch but we're still pretty close...and i already gave out party invitations... but i never gave one out to my 'bestfriend' i feel really bad since ive always invited them to every birthday I've had, but i don't even know if they'd even like scene 75 since theyre so introverted, still, i hate myself alot for not inviting them, i just feel really bad so...am i the asshole???",AITA for not inviting my best friend to my birthday?,NTA
10x6prv,"I have been dating my partner for about a year now and they mentioned they want to move in together this year. I told them I was not ready and they didn’t take it well. My biggest reason for this is I would have to switch daycares for our child and all the ones I’ve found are full for a while. My other reason is they want us to move in with their  roommate. I currently live alone with my child and I enjoy it. I told myself I wouldn’t live with a roommate again unless my financial situation left me with no other choice. I do not want other roommates. It’s not personal, it’s just a preference. Living with others makes me feel like I have no privacy. It doesn’t feel like my own space because I have to share it and accommodate. I don’t want that. The thought of dealing with roommates again gives me anxiety. It’s also pretty soon. Like I said, it’s only been a year. AITA?Edit: my child is not biologically my partner’s child. this is my child only and my partner came along after I had him and had been a single parent for 7 months. We call him “our child” because my partner is the only father figure he has ever had",AITA: I Don’t Want Roommates,NTA
10xgg3g,"For some background context I (17F) have known my friend Sam(17F) since the fourth grade and only picks up on this thing about her in the ninth grade.I liked the same guy from fourth to eight grade and he was really awkward and I was the only one that liked him so when I went to highschool with Sam I started to realize something was off when I started liking different guys. She would always compete with me for the guy, she never said it out loud but I guess I knew her well enough to pick up on the signs. She would act talk and try to impress any guy I liked, It’s not just that we had similar taste because she would do this to ALL of our friends crushes (we have a relatively large friend group as well). Don’t get me wrong, I love Sam and she is amazing this is something I’m ok dealing with and all her attempts have been very lowkey and nothing bold so I haven’t really brought this up. But I really thought I should have in this case.We have a friend, Lisa(17F) who just started dating this guy Dan(18M) and he’s EXACTLY Sam’s type. She’s always been competing for a guys attention with friends (who haven’t known her long enough to notice) and it’s the same with Lisa except I think she’s going too far. She’s making fake profiles to catfish him and try and break them up. She’s been flirting with him when Lisa isn’t around and stuff. Dan is REALLY shy and awkward so he hasn’t dared to bring this up or notice this is flirting and Lisa is the same. So I told Lisa about Sam’s past and how she’s done the same to me and all our other friends.Well Lisa told the others and although most of the group sides with me Sam has convinced some that I’m lying for attention or something. I love Sam and I’m starting to think I started something I shouldn’t have because she’s lost a lot of friends because of me. I feel really shitty, she’s been my best friend for years and I know better than anyone you don’t really control who you like.So AITA? (Names are fake obviously:)",AITA for warning a friend about another friends tendencies?,NTA
10xpghk," Im 18 , turning 19 in July, I've been dating a guy much older than me and im happy , he's happy , everything is fine. We are well togetherI have an instagram account that is pretty much a secret one , like 60 followers , most of them looked like bots and i just post stuff there as memories and etc. for fun , i like editing , taking pics and putting them on my stories just so i can rewatch them anytime i want to.I thought nobody i knew saw these , not one friend or family or whoever .I posted a pic , me and my BF together , it was a cute moment and i love the pic.Next day my phone starts blowing up about it , my friend group starts asking me about it etc. My stomach started going crazy i didnt realise that one of our friends was following me from a fake account and sent it to the group chat.Then that info quickly got to my family and now they are on my ass too😭😭I can show yall the pic i posted if u want to see it for more of a better ""view or whatever""The problem they are having is the age gap but im happy like thisI know im and i was dumb and i shouldnt have done thissooIf this was an AmITheDumbass subreddit i knew the answer would be yes but was the thing i did morally wrong and am i an asshole or are they assholes??","AITA for hiding my instagram from friends and family cuz who i date? (not hiding any info and writing it well this time, atleast ill try",NTA
10xpg6f,"I (47f) have 2 boys. 24M  (stepson from 1st marriage, raised him from 3yo (bio mom,dad gone).  2nd is 21M,  biological  nephew, raised him from 2yo.  My 24M lives w/ grandparents. We talk twice weekly, .Husband (57M) has 2 sons,  24M, 30M.Husband moved into my home. My 21M lives with me. Husband's 24M wanted to move in, to save $.  Husband asked I  treat his son same as my boys. I agreed, he has to follow the same rules . He agreed. Rules are:   1) no drugs allowed in house (I have rph license,  could lose if drugs found in my house) 2)have to stay at the house at least 2 nights /week 3)chores 4) no smoking in house  5) rent is $100/week .If rules aren't followed my 21M knows  he would not live with me. 24M was informed. Breaking rule #1 = eviction.Both boys agreed. My job pays for health&dental insurance for myself, husband, my 2 boys and his 24M.  Both boys  make $500/wk. Local Rent is around $900/ 1bdr. Everyone does own laundry, cleans up kitchen if they mess it up, keep own rooms clean.His son doesn't like rule 2. He said he would stay where he liked. I agree, but if he has  somewhere else to stay, he should live there.Our house isn't a hotel.  My boy has same rules. It's been 6 months since 24M moved in. 24M will not follow rules, doesn't keep room clean, doesn't pick up after himself, doesn't even stay 1 night/wk most weeks.  Asked husband to enforce rules but he keeps giving ""second chances.""  I dont expect perfection, just a little cooperation. Household can't  run w/out everyone doing their share. Things don't get done if they are never there. 24M disagrees with rule #1. I don't care if they smoke weed, cant keep it on our property.  My 21M smokes weed with friends when he's out.  24M left his dirty laundry on washing machine.  I washed his clothes for him (work clothes), as I would for my 21M. I check pockets of clothes to avoid washing ink pens, money, cigarette butts, etc. I found weed in his pockets (about 2 ounces) plus  glass pipe he smokes it with. I went upstairs & went into 24M's room. I have not invaded his space before now. He had 3 bags of weed on his desk in  coffee mug. Showed husband the drugs, told him that 24M had to move out.  He has 2 weeks to get his stuff packed . Husband arguing that I need to give him another chance. I refused. Consequences were explained. . I offered  money 24M has paid so he could use for rent elsewhere ($2400). Husband said I'm unreasonable. I pointed out that he asked me to treat him same as my boy.  I evicted my 24M for drugs. Husband searched 21M room for drugs, 21M ok'd, no drugs. Husband feels he derserves 2nd chance he's bio-son, my 24M  not bio kid.)  I said 24M could leave on his own w/$ , if evicted , no $. 24M called me a bitch. I kicked him out, he left. Husband angry, said I was AH b/c was his bio-kid, sleeps  in guest room now. AITA for kicking 24M out  &expecting husband to back me up?",WIBTA for expecting husband to back me up?,NTA
10xpfeg,"My wife\[f32\] wants to go through with  our daughter's\[f1\] baptism, even though she knows that I'm \[m35\] against  all and everything religion and will not participate  We've  been together for about 10 years - married for four and till this day  everything is pretty much perfect. We're on par with alot of core  believes and values so till this day there wasn't really a big  disagreement whatsoever.Last year  we welcomed our little daughter in a troublesome birth where the mom  nearly died. Her body was so weak that it took 4 weeks for her to heal  and to finally been able to care for her daughter. Breastfeeding didn't  work either. And furthermore the reasons for the complications remain  and would occur with a second pregnancy - so on a health standpoint -  that is off the book *(maybe that has something to do with her reasoning)*She has been to counseling because all of that and I tried to support her as much as I could.Besides  this she knows, that not only am I an passive atheist but a strong  opponent against the church. When the topic of baptism came up I  strictly told her NO - my daughter can decide of her own if she wants to  participate in religion if shes old enugh (around 12-13 where I live).Since then I softend my point to a - *""do  what you wanna do, but I won't participate in any form to something  like that. Tell me where I need to be and when and I will be there to  stand around for an hour.""*She  just now informed that she plans to go through with it sometime around  April and that there a two churches available. Her reasoning is that she  *""wants to give her every blessing possible"".*I know I said *""do what you wanna do""*  but i kind of pissed off that you would do something you clearly know  your partner doesn't want to and I have doubts that in the future we  will be functining like a Team when it comes to parenting or other decisions for my daughter.Do I  just swallow it and possibly blame her for it at some point? How do I  communicte to her that her decision is something that deeply worries me  without trieng to guildtrip her to blow off the baptism? Should I dig down deeper why this is so importent for her? I guess nearly dieing changes things in regard of religion.TL;DR  My  wife wants to baptism our daughter even tho I REALLY don't want to. I fear that this is just the beginning of ""I'm the mom I make the rules""-  parenting - WIBTA if I don't participate?",WIBTA if I don't participate in the baptism of my own daughter?,NTA
10xijwq,"I’m not very good at writing so please bare with me. My ( 22f ) mother ( 48f ) have always had a very strained relationship since my father died. She basically started doing hardcore drugs and pain pills and blames it on everyone else. My dad and her brother dying, her mom dying, her ex husband, etc, etc. She’s a good mother, when she’s sober. I’ve always tried to be nice to her because she’s my mother, and she’s learned how to condition us to pity her. My brother ( 27m ) handles it much better than me, but I feel like I’m too soft to just go no contact since she’s constantly making me feel bad for her. She’ll send me money and buy me things and I just feel awful that I don’t want anything to do with her because of it. Even though I tell her I don’t want the stuff because my apartment is too small. My birthday is coming up in the next day or two and she keeps spamming me for my address. I keep avoiding it and it’s becoming an issue where all she does is ask for it multiple times in a row. I’m terrified that if she gets my address she’ll randomly start showing up unannounced and never leave. My mom has a bad habit of not being able to be on her own, she always somehow mooches off of someone else. Even when she has a whole house to live in, she’ll just abandon it because she doesn’t wanna be by herself ( this has happened many times before in my childhood. ) I tell her I don’t want her showing up randomly and she absolutely freaks out. Telling me that I’m hiding something and that mothers should be able to do things for their daughters birthday. I feel bad and she won’t stop driving the nail in with the guilt trips. Her messages include ( all one after another ):Omg I’m not. I’m delivering shit. What’s the deal. I would let you know first. Omg I can’t believe you just said that. Like I’m not aloud to see you. What is the big dealIn other words what are you hiding. I just want to send a fucking bday Bokay. Way to rip a moms heart outIn all seriousness would you like for me to just leave you alone for good? And you not have anything to do with me? All I wanted to do was send you chocolate covered strawberries and an edible arrangement. 😭 Now I can’t stop crying and I’m at work. I’ve never done anything so bad as to warrant being treated this way. I’ve always been there for you no matter what and will always love you. What is wrong.",AITA for telling my mom I don’t wanna give her my address ?,NTA
10xpf90,"A bit of backstory. So me (27F) and my husband (31M) have been married for about 7 months. We used to be long distance and closed the distance instantly after we got married. A fun fact is that he met this single female coworker a litte after we made things official almost 3 years ago. They have some ""dirty"" humor in his workplace leaving blow up sex dolls in the staff room and hiding dildos. Now this doesn't bother me much what did bother me quite a bit is before we met he got a ""care package"" of this particular co worker containing sex toys (for me and my husband) before we met. I met her and she seems really nice. But this just gave me some strange vibes. Also when I moved I often see her snapchat my husband and I can't help to feel slightly jealous everytime I see her name on my husbands phone homescreen. Now my husband has done nothing to make me feel suspicious but I just don't trust her. Now he asked me this morning if he could go play squash with this coworker and two other coworkers (apparently another co worker cancelled). So they would form teams of two. I don't know if he would be teaming with her or someone else. He knows she makes me uncomfortable and when I explained to him that it was okay this time but if it became something of a regular basis that it might make me uncomfortable. After that he said he wouldn't. I told him to go because I felt bad but he said that he had already told them he couldn't and it was expensive anyways. Now my question is AITA for feeling insecure? For actually not wanting him to hang out with this co worker outside work?",AITA for being insecure about my husband wanting to go on an outing with a 3 coworkers,NAH
10xpbh6,"(sorry if formatting is off, writing this on mobile.) I made plans to meet my parents at 12 in the middle of the village, they said they had plans earlier in the day but would let me know closer to the time if they could meet me in the middle of the village where I was dropping off my daughter or whether they'd meet me at home. Having not heard from them at 11.30 I text to say, as you've not said otherwise I'll assume we're still on for the original plans and I packed my bag along with all my daughters things, ready to drop her off and then be subsequently picked up. At 11.55 I got a text to say 'sorry we've not left yet, will pick you up at home.' No further information, so I heft all my stuff back home and wait there because I have no idea how long they'll be as they've not given any further info despite my asking. I did feel put out because I wouldn't have taken all my things half way across the village plus some stuff to give back to my parents if I wasn't going to be picked up. I have anxiety issues also and I would have taken my headphones if I'd known I was going to walk home again on my own. I felt uncomfortable and put out. Here's where I might TA.. When I see them half an hour later, I tell them it would have been nice to have been told earlier that they wouldn't be meeting me as planned. They said they were too busy chatting to realise the time. I spoke to my partner about this and he says it's just me and that it happens and I don't need to be so put out or upset by it and that I didn't need to say anything. why make plans at a set time if you can't make it. I've been told that's rude so is it rude or is it normal that people run late and don't let people know?Especially if they've said.. I'll let you know if I'm running late.",AITA for asking my parents to let me know in advance if they're running late.,NTA
10xib7n,"I just had my bachelor party. My BM and 2 of the remaining 3 groomsmen planned it, and essentially came up with a plan to go on a 2-night trip in a nearby city in an AirBnB. The only things that were discussed prior was whether or not it sounded like a good idea, and whether people were available for those dates. There was nothing extravagant about the 2-night trip. No major expenses. No major activities and all meals were $30 and under.5 Days after my bachelor party ended, I was sent a group text from the BM asking everyone (myself included) to pay up for their equal portion of the trip (this included Lodging, Food, Activities).My experience growing up, I've always known the etiquette for this kind of stuff to be the following:* The BM or MOH will gather each all the bridesmaids or groomsmen, and come up with a plan for the party or ""trip"", unless of course the bride or groom wants to take planning everything on themselves.* BM/MOH usually come up with ideas themselves (or with the other party members).* BM/MOH then talks to the group, either via text or in person, usually telling the other members ""hey this is what I'm thinking"" yada yada....* They then usually ask ""so is everyone cool with taking care of the Groom/Bride on this trip?"" and/or ""are there any concerns about price or anything of that nature? Or is anyone not cool with either completely taking care of the bride/groom or covering at least the meals and activities.* If there any kind of problem, typically that's when a BM or MOH will reach out or involve the Bride or Groom and tell them the situation, and either A) Ask them if they're ok with chipping in equally or in part for their party or B) Ask them if they want to make any changes to accommodate whatever the issue is. And if there's any expectation of the group wanting to divvy things up evenly (including the groom), that is usually brought up by someone in the party to the groom/bride so that everyone is on the same page moving forward.In addition to this, it was always my intention to chip in for part of the lodging on my own trip. What through me off was my BM suddenly asking for full payment on everything. Especially considering nothing was said to me beforehand about people wanting to divide things equally.AITA?",AITA for being upset about a bachelor party?,NTA
10xbgaj,"For context, I, female 20, am aware of the possibility of severe depression. However, this might not be the case. My boyfriend, male 21, seems to always be extremely tired after work, and the workload does not affect it much. He is a truck driver but does not drive long distance much.As of today, he worked the normal hours, a little shorter than me, I work in Healthcare, and he has been sleeping from around 5-6 pm to now, 10.30 pm. He gets mad at me if I try to wake him up, as I have done carefully for the last two hours. He told me before he went to sleep that he just needed a little nap, and I needed to wake him. He agreed on a time, but he did get mad at me for waking him, and he just turned his back to me. We have still not eaten dinner because he just wants to sleep. We are staying at the in-laws' house while they are gone for the weekend. I'm not too comfortable to just find my way around their home, so I have not eaten much since my shift ended at 3 pm. More annoying is it that he has the past couple of days left almost all responsibility of our dog to me and his parents, such at feeding, walking and playing. He just sleeps or watches TV/his phone. I get really sad and upset, but my feelings is ignored by him, cause I cannot wake him, even if the house was on fire.. I don't know what to do, I'm really close to sleep somewhere else in the house, but I recon he would be mad for that also is he eventually decides to realize I'm here too. I'm being ignored and I'm so mad, as he is snoring right beside me now.",AITA for being annoyed at my boyfriend when he sleeps alot?,NTA
10x9am1,"Back story: I left social media because I was fed up that my family was talking to me only to complain about their problems and asking for money. They don’t care about me unless it’s when they need money. I used to help them but I don’t want anymore. I am not a bank I have feelings too.Since I left social media, my family can’t reach me anymore. Now they are sending messages to my sister who has my number to ask me for money. My sister transferred me the messages. First message is my brother asking for money because he is sick. Second message is my mother asking me to pay her glasses prescription. I did not answer till now.My family is really bad with money and think I have to help them as soon as they ask. Brother has a low-paying job, married and have 3 kids and still live with my parents. My parents still providing for him and his family. My parents never knew how to manage their money.AITA if I just ignore them?",AITA for not giving my family money when they need it?,NTA
10xl4m1,"I'm 21 and am currently taking Engineering, in my 3rd year now. I wanted to find a part-time job so I could buy the things I needed without asking my parents for money, personally, it's hard for me to ask for money because I'm already in my 20s but I'm very thankful that my mom is helping me with my tuition fees. It has been a rough time for me, I lost my full scholarship because I had a hard time passing my course, and I fell into a horrible depression. I got back up, thankfully I was offered a 50% discount on my college tuition so I didn't feel too horrible about my mom paying for my college. My dad and mom separated when I was 14, I had a terrible past with my dad because he was physically and mentally abusive. He got my mom's closest friend pregnant and now he's living with them, they now have 2 children together. For 7 years, he was absent and I never bothered him. I truly wanted to stay out of my father's life, but I had no other choice but to ask for his help.I called him and asked if he could give me $20 so I can buy books and materials. He's a police officer and I assume he earns $4-5k per month, so I thought asking for $20 wouldn't be a big deal. It was also a good time because that month was his salary release. I didn't want to go into details but he started screaming through the phone call and accused me of asking for too much money after I begged him to give me at least $15 so I would figure out what to do next. He cut the call after that, I was too stunned and upset to speak.He called his mother, my grandma, who called me hours after his burst. She said he had a stressful day because of his 1st child from his new partner (my mom's ex-best friend), the child wants a new iPad and she's going to school as an elementary student and my dad needs to pay her tuition. She then went on that I'm already an adult so I don't need my father's help.I was too upset to speak again. I couldn't believe that  $20 is such a big deal to him but not his daughter's iPad. I stopped calling him after that, and I regretted that I approached him.",AITA for asking my dad 20 dollars?,NTA
10xean5,"so, I (21) have some severe ass allergies right now, to the point where it's debilitating. sore throat, difficulties speaking and swallowing, mucus running down my throat and a massive headache. I sound like a toad when I speak because it's that bad. (not covy, not a cold, not the flu; mucus is clear, the winds are 20 mph and the tree pollen is high which I am allergic to the most. wonderful concoction of hat fever) my brother (17) wanted me to go downstairs with him so he can make a milk shake/smoothie thing but I just don't feel well enough to listen to a blender roaring in my ears. I said, ""no, I don't wanna go down"" and he rolled his eyes at me and scoffed. I looked at him incredulously and he said, ""I'm not giving you attitude"" in a very matter of fact tone (this isnt the first time he's given me that tone) and he shrugged and held his hands up, but it sure as hell looked like it was aimed at me. I was the only person having a conversation with him in *my* room. (he was at the doorway). so I gotta ask, was I TA? should I have just gone downstairs to avoid this weird vibe??",AITA for not going downstairs with my brother?,NTA
10xcmtt,"Today I decided to do some quick grocery shopping between appointments. I had approximately 45 minutes before I had to be at my next appointment and the grocery store was on the way, so I figured it was plenty of time to grab the 12-15 items I needed. Everything was going smoothly until I reached the checkout line. The cashier was doing fine until she started chatting with the person in front of me. They were apparently old friends who hadn’t seen each other in ages and thought this was the perfect time to play catch-up. The cashier had scanned all of the person’s items and I had unloaded my cart onto the conveyor belt. However, the cashier ignored the line and continued chatting with her friend. After a couple minutes of just standing and waiting for the cashier to start checking me out I politely interrupted and said “I’m terribly sorry, but I’m in a bit of a rush, would it be ok if you just checked me out so I can make my appointment?” The person in front of me gave me a dirty look and the cashier curtly responded with “give me one moment, sir.” I continued to wait for a couple minutes, during which time a couple people behind me also made comments about the hold up. After approximately five minutes of just waiting, I decided the whole situation was ridiculous and left, leaving all my items on the conveyor belt. When I told my wife, she said it was an asshole move to leave my items behind, but the store was kind of busy and I wasn’t going to pack everything up and walk to another register, let alone walk around putting everything back. So, AITA?",AITA for leaving all my groceries at the checkout?,NTA
10x6nkp,"I have a really close friend. Their partner is a really nice person that I'm acquainted with, but they are not someone who I would consider a friend because I have not interacted much with them. I'm fully supportive of their relationship, in fact I am very happy for my friend for keeping this relationship for a long time, since they have had bad experiences trying to get into one in the past.I try to accommodate them so they can have more time together. Say if I invite them for dinner, but they were already studying with their partner, I would suggest to them to just eat with their partner and that it would be fine for me to make other arrangements. Whenever they are physically together, I tend to stay further away from them because I'd want to give them some space on their own, although this could possibly be down to me being uncomfortable with people I'm not exceptionally close to.I thought I was not doing particularly offensive, until my friend recently confronted me about this. They view this as purposely avoiding their partner. They don't understand why I would do what I did and implied that I was acting as if their partner didn't exist. They also think I refuse to be open with them about any reservations which I have about their partner. I was quite shocked and frankly very saddened, so I apologised because I had no such intention. I explained my perspective, but they are not convinced.AITA for just trying to give them space?",AITA for giving space for my friend to spend more time with their partner?,NAH
10xozvl,"I am a trainee in a  maybe a little uncommon job. Because of that, there are only few schools around here. (i live in germany, and there are maybe i think 5 or so for this type of job) This means that I have to drive 2 1/2 hours. It is common that we have a few weeks of work, and then leave for 3-6 weeks for school and so on. Because it would take too long for me to drive to school everyday and then back home, my boss rents an apartment in a vacation apartment complex full time. It is owned by a lady and her husband, who produce good quality wine. Yesterday evening a new couple moved in next door. I went to sleep at around 11 pm because I have a class test today and needed a good sleep. At around 3 am I wake up, confused and go to the toilet. When I came back I heard very specific noises, but more like screaming. We all know what they did. I tried to ignore it, but it went from loud to sounding like a pig was being slaughtered so I banged on the wall as hard as I could. I then heard laughing and they went quiet. Thoufht that was it. 30 Mins later they started SHOWERING and then blow drying their hair. At 5 am they went quiet again. This morning, I met my landlord while going to my car and told her about them being extremely noisy and showering in the middle of the night. I asked her if she could please talk to them, that they are not alone in this apartment complex and that they needed to be quieter. Im not talking about being quiet at 10 pm, but I just think its disrespectful to be this loud at 3 am. You can control the noises u make, and I mean u dont need to be screaming, do you? I told my friends at school and they said that I shouldve just forgotten about it. I dont think I did anything wrong. I had to stand up at 6am and I did not get a good rest even though I really needed it. AITA?","AITA for calling my ""landlord"" on my neighbours?",NTA
10xovws,"Context- this has happened around 2-3 days ago it is currently 9/02/2023So around 3 days ago I (16F) was on a train with my friends for a school excursion June \[16F\], Brianna \[16F\] and Kyanna \[16F\] we were all chatting with usual shit like who's getting with who and for context B is dating one of my friends Eli \[17M\]. Me and June had heard cheating rumors about Eli & Brianna from around 4 months ago and we decided to tell her. She ends up asking Eli on snapchat about this- he completely avoids the question. So Jaime and I went a bit crazy after that. She ends up saying ""His dad will know if he's lying"" she ends up messaging his step-mum because the dad wasn't online- the step-mum doesn't respond but has read the message. We assume step-mum is messaging his dad. The days ends fine.NOTE: Me and June had heard the same rumor from 2 completely different people. We perceived it likely could be true as Eli has been known to be a playboy in the past.We proceed to the next day- Tuesday.Turns out Eli was not cheating! and he & Brianna are fine. Relationship is well. Brianna ends up confronting me about this in the morning at school. She essentially says that I lied about the entire thing- I say otherwise because I did tell her that it may not be true and so did June. She ended up confronting June also. A few of Brianna's friends that I know and have known for a while take her side and refuse to talk to June (who is also their friend.) Brianna essentially says that she wants to bash us both for lying. Which I honestly think is completely unreasonable. I speak to June and she agrees, we were just trying to help her and she's gone and called us liars.So I just wanted to know, AITA?EDIT: Just changing the names so it is easier. (Fake names are used)",AITA For telling my friend a rumor that wasn't true?,YTA
10xaqd9,"I (22) stayed with my family and my brother, Leo (24) over the holiday season. I sprained my wrist in a sports related injury two days before and had not been able to get it checked by a doctor yet. While staying at our parents’ house we have been asked to look after household chores like cooking, cleaning and doing the bins as they normally rent the rooms we are staying in. Due to my injury I have had to do most thing one handed including  all our required duties. I still did all of them except for when my brother asked me to take out the trash. I did so until I realised that the bin was full and I could not push it (I do not often do sports and am very weak due to a disease I have) down and asked my brother to help. He refused saying that it was my responsibility. I then spent ten minutes out in the cold trying to crush it enough with my un-injured arm and eventually did it. After coming back inside my brother asked if I was okay after I rubbed my hands together to heat them up. At this point this was the third or fourth time something had happened like that that day and I was done. I snapped at him about how it would have taken him one minute and would have saved me the cold. He is accusing me of exaggerating my injury where I get very painful jolts whenever I use that hand. He believes that I am just tired and stiff so I should be able to just use it. My parents are made at me for “disturbing the peace” but I think that this “disturbance was solely caused by Leo. AITA or was I in the right!?",AITA For yelling at my brother over chores,NTA
10x9liv,"I recently went to visit a friend this winter. She lives in a big city and I live in a small town.Her one bedroom was pretty cramped and had half of it set up for work, and half for living. I also noticed she had trouble finding community and I told her she can't heal without community.She eventually exploded and said her house costs $3000 a month (compared to my $700) and she's exhausted.I also said she should finish decorating and again she was mad because she just bought her apartment and things are expensive.She told me she was annoyed because she's black and I'm white, and that my family is quite rich while she is trying hard to build her wealth. She said her and I have had completely different life experiences I didn't mean my comments and I don't think I was an AH.So reddit, AITA?","AITA for saying ""you need more friends""?",YTA
10xord6,"My mother (53) moved last year to start a graduate program in a new state, leaving my stepmother and myself (30) back in my hometown.I came to visit my mother a week ago for a two week visit in between two trips. She's been shady and having hushed phone calls in a voice that I know is her flirty/sexy voice. And back in December, Alexa recorded obvious sex sounds from her house. It's obvious she's stepping out with *someone* but it's none of my business. My mom told me she was going to be home around 8 from a networking event. Cool, no problem. Except 11:30pm rolls around and I haven't heard from her despite a text asking if she's OK (she lives in a high crime area and it's way past when she said she'd be home). Eventually, around 12:30, I call and she picks up. She claims she at the networking event except it was 1000% obvious from the sounds she was at her new friends up to other things.Frankly, I don't care that she's out all night. Or that she didn't check in. I'm pissed that she lied to me about what she's doing/where she's at. She's a big girl - she could have just said she was fine and didn't need to add the obviously.I feel *highly* disrespected that she lied to me. Idk what the situation is with her and my stepmother but she's also probably cheating unless they have some open arrangement. WIBTA if I pack up my things and take the first flight out of town because I feel disrespected? She's obviously not coming home tonight and tomorrow she'll be in class so I wouldn't see her again.",WIBTA if I leave my mother's with no notice?,NTA
10x59rg,"I (17f) live with my brother (12m) and mother (52f). In most cases we get along but studying with my bro is a pain.My brother has driven my mother to the brink of insanity. He was left homw today to study for a test. 13 words and a few irregular prulars. He instead played games on his computer for the whole day and did not study ANYTHING.This is not the first time this has happened. Every single time my mom takes out the internet, which is unfair because most of my schoolwork and workstuff is on there. After that, my bro yells and breaks things for a few hours. And then, after 8pm he goes to my mom, apologizes, my mother forgives him and puts the internet back. Next day, rinse and repeat.Occasionally I study with my brother. Primarily maths and english but I take on the responsibility of teaching him when my mom is done. This obviously takes away time from my day, which I could use for my school and work stuff.I thought that maybe I should remove a cable from his custom built pc. My mom tells me that I'd be the asshole if I did that. In my opinion, it's the only way I'd be able to do my schoolwork.WIBTA if I did this?",WIBTA if I removed a cable from my brother's computer?,YWBTA
10x85rp,"My 2 uncles and a friend of theirs came to our house to fix the bathroom since the walls and ceiling were molding due to steam from the shower. I went out and tried watching them cuz I was bored, and also held my uncle’s ashtray for him. My brother (20) came over and tried aggressively pushing me away and getting me to leave. I’m around 2 family members and to me this could have been a learning experience since a lot of stuff around the house was complicated. So my uncle just told me and my brother to just go inside to stop any fighting. My mom doesn’t find it weird that I wanted to watch either and thinks my brother overreacted. So AITA?",AITA for watching my uncles fix the bathroom?,NTA
10xa7b3,"She was in school, while I was at work, and called me a few times but kept it to basic conversation due to me being busy and not having a free moment to talk. Before I had left the office, I told her I'd call her and talk to her about my day when I was alone, to which she replied, ""I'll probably be at work by that time so just text me"". Which is fine, her life is just as busy as mine and I admire her hard work. Fast forward to about 9 o'clock yesterday, and she calls me while she's leaving work, thinking we would talk about our day, instead, she immediately jumps to ask me, ""what's up with you, i feel like you're pushing me away"" to which I reply that's not true, i've just been super busy all day and I'd have preferred to talk to you when it was just me alone. She replies, ""How are you going to tell me what I feel is wrong"" and I then say, ""I'm telling you I just had a busy day and was not pushing you away, I don't know what to say to you"" to which she had an attitude about because what I said according to her was out of pocket, so I simply stated, ""I'm really not looking to fight or argue with you right now"", which led to her hanging up on me mid sentence.Fine, I put my phone down and walked away from it, she proceeds to call me 18 times while I'm away from my phone, I pick up on the 19th call, and she asks, ""What the f\*\*k are you doing??"", to which I reply, ""Nothing, I just put my phone down and walked away to go hang out upstairs"" to which she proceeds to explode over me ignoring her and putting my phone down. My reaction out of emotions and her yelling in my ear was matched and I exploded saying ""I don't need to f\*\*\*\*ing talk to you at the end of my day when I have a shitty day, I don't need to vent to you, I don't need to talk to you for my night to be satisfied and for me to rest peacefully at night, I don't need to talk about my problems and my issues with you to make myself feel better, and the last thing that I want to do is fight with you right now"" which lead to her breaking down a bit, splitting up with me, twisting my words into saying ""You said the last thing you want to do is talk to me"" and hanging up, when all I wanted her to do was to put her head to rest for 5 minutes of her overthinking ask me how my day was, and talk to me about my day and vice versa, instead, her excuse is, That I only want to talk when it's convenient for me, which really lead me to say what I said above when it has nothing to do with convenience in my eyes. Moving on to today, I wake up to some messages being called explicit names, being told I'm a f\*\*\*\*ing brat, I'm unappreciative of everything in my life, I suck the energy out of everything I'm around, I carry negativity with me everywhere I go. Then she played the ""who does more"" game, such as ""I was here for you at this, that, and this"" and ""Who forgave you for that, this and that?""AITA for exploding?",AITA for telling my friend I don't need to vent about my problems at the end of the day to her?,NTA
10xoghd,"When I moved into my new place, my roommate, (who is also the homeowner) said there was no need to bring my own kitchen utensils/pots/pans/dishes etc. I had my own assortment of miss match items that I then decided to get rid of as I don’t have the space to store them anywhere and I will be at this new location for a long time. Again I was told I could use his supplies so I went ahead and gave my old things to Goodwill.  Well fast forward to three weeks into living there and out of nowhere he texts me that I can no longer use his kitchen supplies. Not pots/pans/dishware/cutlery or anything. That’s fine but now I have to get new sets of all my own things (since I donated the old based on what he told me). And here’s the kicker- he also says that I cannot use any of the cupboards or drawers in the kitchen to store my things. Since his things take up so much space. He is “allowing” me to use a small space in a tiny closet down the hall from the kitchen where I now must keep everything —including all of my dry food AND my kitchen utensils. everything must fit in this tiny closet- meanwhile he has an entire walk in pantry to himself as well as the entire full kitchen that I am not allowed to store anything in. He was upset that I didn’t thoroughly wash and scrub the dishes clean before I put them in the dishwasher but I simply didn’t realize the dishwasher was weaker pressure and that the dishes weren’t getting fully cleaned. It’s only three weeks in and I am a very clean and quiet respectful roommate. I actually scrubbed the dirty (repulsive) microwave that obviously hadn’t been cleaned in years and the next morning he blew it up with butter everywhere. Anyways In regard to the dishes that weren’t fully cleaned…I apologized profusely and asked if I could please at the very least have a small drawer in the kitchen so that it wasn’t such a hassle to have to go to the tiny closet for everything when I want to cook. Also important to note this is a tiny bedroom way outside of the downtown area and it’s 1,100$ plus utilities. And now I can’t even use the kitchen space which I was told was a shared space??? He said I won’t get my security deposit back if I want to break the lease so now I am stuck. Someone please help, is there any legal action at all that I can take? Mostly I am just confused. He seemed like a nice guy and I had hoped to become friends but now I am #bannedfromthekitchen.",AITA for wanting to break the lease with my shitty roommate? #bannedfromsharedkitchen,NTA
10xk0r1,"I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years. I was with my ex for 15 years. My ex was always a big part of my dad's life. My boyfriend has never made any effort to be part of my dad's life at all (for various reasons, none of which had anything to do with me or my dad). My dad was sick and living alone (with my sisters and I and a care person helping to look after him) and I was very stressed for the past 2 years. During that time my boyfriend never once came over to help me. He had a bad experience with an ex-girlfriend's dad years ago and he always uses that as an excuse for why he never met my dad. ​Now my dad passed away. While my dad was sick, my ex (who I still am on good terms with) helped with him on several occasions. He also came to visit him a lot all on his own. Once when I was feeling really burned out he stayed with my dad for a week and would sit with him, playing chess and cards and watching old movies. He really cared about my dad.​The estate wasn't worth a whole lot (and I'm splitting it with my 2 sisters). Both my boyfriend and my ex could really use some money. I didn't have a lot to give, but I chose to give $10,000 to my ex (and nothing to my boyfriend because frankly there isn't a whole lot there anyway and I'm keeping it for myself).​Now my boyfriend is very very hurt and upset with me and thinking that I still have romantic feelings for my ex. Which I do not. But my ex deserves some money because he was involved in my dad's life and he went out of his way to help me and alleviate my stress when it came to looking after my dad. My boyfriend never did (not even once). ​He says just based on the fact that we are partners and have plans to get married in the future I should have at least kept the money if I didn't want to give it to him (my boyfriend), but that I should never have given it to my ex. Now I'm feeling confused. Am I the asshole here?​tldr: I gave a bit of my inheritance to my ex and nothing to my bf...aita?",AITA for giving my ex $$$ from my dad's estate and not my boyfriend?,NTA
10xer6e,"Recently, a friend of a few years decided to block me everywhere online, because of the past few days. The most recent happening before being blocked, she killed me for no reason while we were playing Project Zomboid, and I didn't stand for it. After killing me, for a while I just asked ""so are we just gonna start over and act like nothing happend?"" She responded wth ""yes"" to which I responded as calmly as I could with ""I'm going to be honest, I can't. I'm not mentally here for this right now. I closed the game, kicking her from the server, and after we both sat in silence for a little bit, then she left voice call, so I did too. Recently, she's been enjoying parties with friends, getting drunk, smoking weed, the likes, and she also recently broke up with a long distance relationship which she had been in for a few years, so i figure shes pretty upset because of that. Along with that, shes been working in McDonalds for a while, and theres been lots of workplace drama there. One time, she talked about a coworker to me, and shared her texts with that coworker, and i found it too appalling to not get upset at her for it. She had called that coworker a whore and threatend to get the coworker fired for transphobia. I told her thats really over the top, but she did get that coworker fired. I might have been too harsh for her, but honestly calling a coworker a whore, threatening her coworker to get fired, and just being really mean while we were playing games tired me. I want to hang out with my friends, not talk about drama have debates and be blocked when i disagree. I'd have more quotes but she blocked me so I can't look at our DMs since I close dms frequently and didn't realize she blocked me until I went to try and find her. It kinda hurts too since I was the reason she was able to get on hrt, and I've been there for her when she needed somewhere to be. I've given her drives to work when she didn't have a car. I let her wait to afford my gas for a while, and now she blocks me because I tell her she is being too mean? Am I the asshole? Am I being irrational and thinking too far into this?",AITA for being upset at my friend?,NTA
10xoayb,I know this post seems stupid and pointless but I really need to know if ITA. My dad got a laugh out of it and he also understood what I meant as well. Also the issue was resolved but my mom is still bringing it up.This happened a few days ago. My mom asked me to make a grocery list last minute before she left for work while she finished blow drying her hair. I only had about 4 minutes to make a list of 15 things to make maybe 2-3 meals. My parents usually have me in charge of coming up with meals because they normal don’t plan ahead on what they want to eat but I do. So pretty much I was put in charge of meal planning. I was in a rush to get myself ready for work so I scribbled down a few things. I’ve been wanting to have a healthier diet for my family and I so i wanted to make homemade cauliflower rice so we could get the right amount of vegetables in our diet. However I forgot the name for cauliflower so I quickly wrote down Albino broccoli. I handed the list to my mom and left for work with my dad. I get a call from my mom later while I was on break asking what the fuck albino broccoli was. I think it’s sort of obvious on what I meant so I told her. She yelled at me about making her look for something that didn’t exist and thought I was just pulling some prank on her. I told her I really did forget the name for it and that I was also in a rush for work so it’s not like I had the time to look up the name for cauliflower and the only thing I could think of at the time was albino broccoli. This happened Monday and she’s still bringing it up about how I tried to “prank her and wasted her time.” She was so annoyed with it she had to call her friend to complained about it. I think she’s being a bit over dramatic because my dad knew what I meant right away but I’m not sure if ITA or not.,AITA for forgetting the name of Cauliflower?,NTA
10xcsol,"I'm going to keep this as brief as I can. I was at a friend, Helen's, birthday outing recently. We were all drinking, bar hopping, having a good time. At the last bar we're all pretty drunk and another friend Mary asked if she could talk to me for a sec so I said sure. She wanted to talk about her birthday party from like a month ago and what she said was (and I have to do a bit of paraphrasing here, sorry) ""It was really messed up that you ditched me on my birthday. There was this guy who was being creepy around me and he was bothering me and I really wanted you there but you just left and when a girl asks you to stay you should stay."" I was caught completely off guard, so I just said ""Ok."" and she was like ""Don't do that, don't just shut down"" So I kinda blew up on her and said ""I wanted to go home, it was 1:30 in the morning. I tried to find you and couldn't and so I had to hope someone would let me crash at their place instead of yours. I never saw this guy, you never told me about this guy and its kinda fucked up that you're attributing his behavior to me out of nowhere.""For context, my recollection of the night in question, which I immediately went to Helen to confirm, was we were out for Mary's birthday from about 6pm, it was in the city. Me and Helen live in the same area, an hour long train ride away from the city and the last train was leaving at like 2am so at 1:30 we decided to go home. I told Helen I was gonna go find Mary and say goodbye. Mary was hanging with a couple friends, I told her I was leaving and she said ""Please, no I really want you to stay. Please stay, you can sleep at my place, just please don't leave."" So I was like ""Alright, if you want me to stay that bad, I'll stay."" Went back to the street to tell Helen I was gonna stay, said goodbye, and then walked around that club for 30mins trying to find Mary again. I texted her multiple times and all she'd say back is ""I'm on the first floor"" or ""I'm the one with the bottle"" but, I covered every inch of the place and couldn't find them at all. I told her I was gonna find a place to crash because Idk if I'm gonna find her and I can't get home anymore without a ridiculously expensive Uber. I had to call up another friend I know and ask if I could crash at hers for the night.​Am I the asshole here? Both for leaving the club and for blowing up on her when she confronted me about it.",AITA for choosing to leave the birthday party?,NTA
10xjudd,"i used to be good friends with shiloh, kat, & gabriel. gabriel & shiloh are siblings. as friends do, i talked about my past relationship, shiloh didn’t like what my ex did, so she asked if she can befriend my ex to stab in the back. after months of declining i caved in and said to just keep me updated. (befriending my ex was completely shilohs idea). kat & shiloh started getting really close, so i backed off a bit to not interfere with their friendship. kat unfortunately had a miscarriage, since i detached myself from both of them, i didn’t have much sympathy to offer towards her. fast forward a few weeks kat & shiloh are texting me saying how i’m such a pos & a bad friend. i insensitively said something about kat’s miscarriage but imo she definitely deserved it after attacking me. fast forward another few weeks, gabriel & i are hanging out at my house & shiloh decided to show  up. shiloh walked into my room, apologized for the messages & saying she was intoxicated, unaware, & that kat had done everything. i brought her back in with open arms & treated her like family. after this happened shiloh texted gabriel & said she lied about everything, she did do it, & that she only apologized so she can hang out with gabriel. i left her. during the time i left shiloh texted my ex & told her it was my idea t for shiloh to befriend her & get revenge & that i was a pos. the whole summer goes by, in school i see her in the halls & asked if she still hated me. she said no, & that were cool. a few weeks later (again, i know) we started hanging out again because i felt lonely & needed some company. so i had my arms open for her yet again. we were good, one day i asked if she wanted to hang out with zeek & i, shiloh stated that she didn’t like zeek & thought he was a b!tvh, i convinced shiloh to hang out with us because zeek had a v@pe. they hit it off. their friendship has been growing stronger ever since i introduced them. i finally realized they liked each other more than me. i always felt left out when they were around, i started to hate zeek & shiloh, i stopped talking to the both of them. now shiloh is talking sh!t about me, constantly. so, aita because i stopped talking to them?",AITA because i stopped talking to some friends? (long read),ESH
10xo6qg,"I (35m) and my wife (34f) have been married for 2 years. We never lived with each other prior to marriage. What I noticed is that there are times when she would come home from work late and is too lazy to shower so she would brush her teeth and go to bed. At first, I'm usually cool about it because I understand she is tired and just wants to go to bed. However lately, I noticed that if we would go out to eat at a restaurant, she would come home, change and go to bed. The problem is that I have developed a weird sense of smell where if it smells like food or anything else out of the ordinary, I would not be able to sleep. I have a hard time sleeping in the first place so anything out of the ordinary would disturb my sleep.We came home from dinner tonight and she decided to go to bed without showering. We had some food that our clothes were pretty smelly afterwards. I came home showered right away. I got into bed and I couldn't stand the smell so I told her that I can't sleep in bed unless she showered. She was super offended so now I'm sleeping on the couch. Not sure what to do here because I feel like I can't be in the same bed due to the smell. AITA for telling her that I can't be in the same bed unless she showers?Edit 1: Throwaway account since she's on Reddit.",AITA for not wanting to sleep with my wife unless she showers?,YTA
10xgsvt,"So I (22M) just had a complete explosion and lost my temper… I never usually do. My Mum, I love her to pieces and I know she loves me too but she talks to me in an extremely condescending and patronising tone. I do everything I can around the house, I contribute towards the bills, I’m emotionally and physically supportive. I care for everyone and everything I can when necessary. She goes to see her boyfriend of 4 years for days on end & I look over my little brother (16) who is mildly on the spectrum and make sure he’s good as well as the house making sure everything’s good. Even though I try and make sure things are good here but it’s never good enough. As soon as she steps through that door she starts but not at my little brother AT ME. It’s almost as if she hates being home an almost immediate change of emotion, shouting. “You guys never listen” you guys this and that. And whilst I acknowledge some stuff we do can be annoying, she just overdoes it. A situation just occurred and I was trying to explain but yet again she would talk over me and be extremely condescending and when she finally stopped talking she would proceed to dismiss what I’m saying and I would say “you’re not even letting me explain, you keep talking over me”. She then gets even more dismissive, I tried to get her to talk to me and then she started to gaslight and say I’m being disrespectful but all I was trying to do was get my point across. After we exchanged heated words  she got up and slammed the door in my face and I just lost it, I ended up slamming door as the shouting drew closer to my room and when she started shouting even more i shouted back telling her to stop talking to me, Shutup (which I never say), I don’t care about anything she’s saying etc. I don’t want to try relationship with her anymore if I can just have peace within us not speaking. It seems as if she’s so happy with everyone else but when it’s me I’m the issue. I don’t want to apologise nor do I want to converse with her in any way shape or form am I the asshole to feel that way? To not want to say sorry? To not feel any remorse? Sorry if this is very long and the writing is bad. Still in the heat of the moment. P.s. I do try even harder for a relationship as my little brother is extremely quiet and to himself causing her to feel lonely. Especially when I was at uni (I graduated in NOV)",AITA for exploding on my Mum.,NTA
10xeees,"I (21F) usually send my sister, Liz, (19F) boxes to her dorm. She lives on her university campus and because of that she isn’t usually able to visit except for the big breaks or holidays. I decided to put together a Valentine’s Day box for her, her dormmate, and the other 2 friends whom I’ve met. They all went to high school together as well.Anyway, 2 weeks ago I called and polled her and her friends. Usually they all share the goodies in the boxes between themselves. Liz asked for chocolate truffles, something with chocolate and mint in it and cupcakes (any flavor). Now here comes the small issue, my sisters friend Rain (19F) can’t eat chocolate or gluten because she’s allergic. So I asked the group, what flavor cupcakes would they like. Ended up with strawberry and lemon cupcakes because it was a flavor profile that fit everyone. I made chocolate and mint cookies with regular flour because I knew Rain wouldn’t be able to partake in it because of the chocolate. So, I got  gluten free flour and made these cupcakes specifically for her to be able to enjoy something in this box. (I hated the idea of leaving her out since everyone shares the goodies). It was difficult finding it in my area because I don’t have access to large department stores that usually carry gluten free options. The box was large enough to fit 2 Pringle cans of cookies, 3 large mason jars of cupcakes (with all the wrapping to protect them) and the tubberware of truffles. I sent the box and this morning it arrived. Liz received and opened the box, everything was still intact and edible. Turns out because Rain wasn’t there, Liz ate a jar along with her dormmate and the other friend. So when Reina showed up from her class, I got a text saying she didn’t get any of the cupcakes. I asked my sister and she explained that Rain wasn’t there so she just gave it away. She has a small fridge that she could’ve put the jar in until Rain arrived. I called her an asshole and inconsiderate because she knew that I made that FOR Rain to partake in. It was pre established that the cupcakes were Rain friendly. My sister is saying I’m the ahole for dictating what she does with what and that rain “snoozed and losed”.",AITA for calling my sister a bad friend,NTA
10x8gza,"So I (19m) was having a chat with my friend (18F) and in the conversation she says that she is thinking of ""letting the intrusive thoughts win and get a tattoo"" and said something along the lines of it being so funny to ""let the intrusive thoughts win"" I stepped in to tell her that she shouldn't be using that word to describe them and that she should use the word ""impulsive thoughts"" instead because describing intrusive thoughts as something funny or silly was very bad to do. I struggle with intrusive thoughts daily and they are not something that are funny or quirky like how she was describing. When I tried to tell her the difference, she starting fighting with me. When I brought up how I have intrusive thoughts and started describing them to her she started fighting with me again and said that I was ""going crazy"" and that I had ""No idea what I was talking about"" despite me giving examples of my own experiences. When I was giving her examples of what I meant and stated that I wasn't mad, and that I was just trying to educate her let her know the difference for future times. She never responded and is now actively ignoring me. So now I have cut contact for the moment and am not communicating with her. But I feel like I fucked up massively. AITA?","AITA for not communicating with my friend after saying they were using the phrase ""Intrusive thoughts wrong?""",NTA
10xjhzi,"I (17F) recently blocked a guy (28M) whom I talked to almost every day for almost a year without giving him a clear answer or explanation. However, since then I have been feeling guilty over this decision.This guy and I met in an irl friend's server and we started out with small talk and learning small things about each other. Over the months it escalated to trauma sharing as well as talking about visiting each other. I do want to reiterate that our convos never became sexual and there wasn't any romantic/sexual interest shown. I was wary of the age gap but still talked to him though because at that moment, I told myself he didn't show any red flags and that this was all simply platonic + he was extremely kind to me and everyone I've seen him interact with.I was always contemplating our friendship but didn't really do anything about it due to the reasons mentioned above; however, one day my friends and I were discussing relationships and one of them mentioned how gross it is for a senior to date a freshman. At that moment I realized how I viewed freshmen, they're kids in my eyes despite only a 3 year gap between us. That made me question what the guy thought of me and how he could've treated me as an equal/close friend despite me being a decade younger than him. On the same night I decided to DM him asking him if we could talk about something serious. He agreed and I voiced out my concerns and how I was no longer comfortable about how close we have become. He actually respected it, and stated that although he wants to be friends, he understands my worries and would not reach out unless I did it first. So I left it at that.2 days later I received a text from him stating that he knows he says he wouldn't reach out, but that he recollected his thoughts and wanted to share them. It was a pretty long text but to sum it up, he told me that my concerns are valid and that I should be the one to decide what to do with this friendship. He then offered an alternative of becoming a mentor for me rather than a friend and told me how I have ""healed"" him in many ways and that I don't owe him anything. He ended it with ""I just want what's best for you."" I was emotionally exhausted (due to other events) and didn't know what to say so I blocked him as well as on all the other platforms I knew him on. I don't regret my decision of ending this friendship, but I am wondering if I should have at least reached out and given him a final answer? He gave me the space to do so and it just feels shitty leaving without a word. I discussed this with some of my friends and it's mostly 50/50. Some think I don't owe him any explanations while others think because he treated me very nicely and was good with communication, I should have done the same. AITA???",AITA for blocking a friend with no explanation?,NTA
10xc8t3,"Hi idk anything about Reddit but like apparently people come here to ask questions like ""am I in the wrong for ___"" so I wanted to aswell I guess   - anyways I have 2 cats and one one of them likes to rub up against people to get what he wants and my grandma gives him treats to get him to leave her alone but the vet says it's not healthy for him to have so much so today he does the above won't leave her alone and she asks me to pass her the treats I'm like ""no I'll do it it's ok"" and when i usually do it I just give him 1 or 2 even though she asks me to give him about 6 and apparently she noticed because she was like ""don't just give him 1 or 2 give him how many I told you to because you're being rude and not listening to what I tell you to""  but I don't think i am?? I'm just here for second opinions so Aita?? (idk if I'm posting this in the right spot or if it's serious enough to be taken to reddit so I'm sorry 😞)",AITA for not listening about cat treats?,NTA
10xe5b3,"I’m traveling from NYC to visit my friend in Ithaca. This friend just texted me and told me that another one of his friends, who is gonna be in Ithaca on those same dates visiting one of their mutual friends, wants to get lunch with him and he said yes. This makes me upset because Im only gonna be in Ithaca for a day and a half, and we had made our plans way in advance. And I don’t know anyone else in Ithaca either, so it’s not like I can just go do other stuff. Yes ofc I can go do stuff on my own, but the combination of the fact that we had made our plans first plus the fact that I’m only there for a short time makes me mad at my friend for making other plans while i’m there. Am i the asshole?",AITA for getting mad at my friend for making other plans while I’m visiting them?,YTA
10x79ao,"I didn't bring a gift or card to my brother's second wedding because I was hurt and pissed he unexpectedly uninvited me and my family several months prior.My (40) brother (42) lives on the east coast and met a woman after his divorce in the fall of 2020. They moved in and got engaged within a year and set the wedding date for November 2022. My family was invited, and we were excited and planned to drive from Chicago to attend what I thought was the wedding of my brother that I had a very good relationship with. We had told him several times we planned on coming. Out of the blue in July of 2022 I was sent a txt from my brother uninviting us using reasons that included he did not think we wanted to come, we would cause a distraction because some family hadn’t seen us in a couple years, and our politics did not line up with his new wife’s. After the initial heartbreak, we had a long family discussion and realize our new SIL is a very broken person and has manipulated my brother into hating us, and is doing what she can to alienate us. With my parent’s help, we were invited again, as it would have been awful to miss such an important day. My brother and SIL still have not apologized and feel very validated for uninviting us without ever discussing their issues with us. We drove out, found out we were still excluded from the rehearsal dinner, but we weren’t really excited to be there anyway. We were nervous we would be turned away at the door at the actual wedding so we decided to wait a few months before sending a gift. Wedding happened, no issues except SIL actively avoided talking to us (we had never met in person until that day) and my brother did not introduce us at all. About a month later my parents get a txt from SIL accusing them of being bad parents because we did not give them a gift or card for their wedding. I spoke with my brother on the phone and he agreed we are awful and rude people for not bringing a gift, or letting them know at the wedding the gift would come later. AITA for not bringing a card or gift, or telling them at the wedding a gift is on the way?",AITA for not bringing a wedding gift or card to my brother's second wedding?,NTA
10x5n1w,"I(23f) have recently had a massive family event happen. Unfortunately my (73f) grandma passed away in the week, and it's been really hard on everyone. This woman helped raise me when my dad needed help, as her daughter, my mom, passed away  when I was very young. Because of this, the family wanted to gather several states away as a viewing, we agreed, would be very disrespectful to my grams and who she was. She wouldn't want us to see her like that, and she even kept quite a lot of what was going on with her health private. I will add to help clarify, i have been unintentionally low-no contact with most of my moms side of the family for almost a decade. They all moved away from where i was, and as they never seemed to need to contact me, i never made effort to contact them in turn, as I'm notoriously a ""live in the moment"" kind of person. Im surprised they even told me what happened. But, here's what happened that makes me feel like an a-hole:I was supposed to be ready to leave at 5am to see my family this morning with my grandma's brother. I stayed up all night as i have a very hard time sleeping and controlling my sleep. I have not told my family about this, as the only person i really talk to about my mental health is my father and id rather keep it that way. I'm also very uptight about keeping dates and times that I promise. However, around 4:30, I unintentionally passed out, and despite having set multiple alarms, and said great uncle calling me twice, I didn't wake up until 8am. I called and apologized profusely, telling him I felt extremely irresponsible and like a terrible person. He told me, ""Good, you should. I'm at (designated meet up point for the long trip south). Bye."" And hung up. He is absolutely livid with me and I feel this is justified.I do not blame him for leaving, and quite frankly I feel absolutely devastated that I missed my alarms. This trip meant a lot to me, and I undoubtedly feel like I am the a-hole. However, my friends and my father completely disagree and think that my uncle is the a-hole. Not for leaving without me, but for what he said to me before hanging up and how he treated the situation. My dad says that yes, he is grieving, but that lashing out at me was unacceptable and it says a lot about how the family sees us(me and him) after my mum passed. He is livid that my uncle said that to me after I called to apologize.My friends said that crap happens and that I shouldn't be beating myself up for this. One of them said that everything happens for a reason and it's probably better I didn't go. I pulled out of my savings for this trip and would've had to miss out on all but four of my scheduled hours for the week. It would've put me, and my household, in a lot of stress for quite a while financially. My aunt was fine with it, as she will be here in April to visit anyways.I honestly still think I'm an a-hole and they're just trying to be supportive friends, which i do really appreciate.So, reddit, am I the a-hole?",AITA for not waking up to my alarm for an important family matter?,YTA
10x8357,"I (f24) come from a Spanish-speaking country, however, for the past 2.5 years I've been living somewhere where neither English nor Spanish are the official language. I can speak the country's language relatively well (B2-C1), but definitely not at a native level. Yesterday I had to go to the doctor and, of course, at the beginning of the appointment I was speaking the country's language. However, I had a hard time finding the right words for some of my symptoms, so I politely asked the doctor in the country's language ""Do you perhaps speak English?"". His answer was ""Where do you think you are? We are in X country, we speak X language"". I didn't say anything and proceeded to continue trying to explain my symptoms the best I could in the country's language.   After the appointment, I was upset about the situation since I didn't think it was absurd to ask the doctor if he spoke English given that 56% of the country's population speaks English and 25% of the city's population are immigrants. However, I've been thinking that, even if his response wasn't friendly, perhaps it was entitled and rude of me to ask him to accommodate my language preferences.   Just to clarify: I wasn't upset that he couldn't speak English, I would totally be TA if I was, I was upset at the way he answered since I've had other doctors simply say ""no, but we'll find a way to understand each other"", which I feel is not too much to ask but maybe I'm wrong.",AITA For asking my doctor if he spoke English,NTA
10xbpvk,"I've known my friend Jasper for about 3 or 4 years now. Yesterday I was having fun making memes about me and my friend group and decided to include a couple of my other friends (A and M) who happen to be in Jasper's friend group, since they hang out with us a lot, although Jasper themself does not. I decided to post these memes on my status, which Jasper saw, and they got angry with me, since I only met M in September, and I didn't include Jasper in any of them. They started saying I hated them and thought they weren't good enough for me, before bringing up drama from last year (long story short, I accidentally copied their OC but they went along with it so I thought they were fine with it, now every few months they bring it up saying how they had to trash their OC because of me and I'm apparently a horrible person for something I didn't even know upset them at the time) and then dumping a bunch of trauma on me. They kept saying I gaslit them despite the fact that they've been gaslighting and guilt tripping me since 2020. I told my friends who sided with me, and Jasper started venting to A and M. However, when they didn't immediately respond, Jasper told them to fuck off and die. Now A and M have both joined our friend group because they're angry with Jasper. They're guilt tripping A, and they said to my friend G ""You really don't see what Felix has done?"" while she was defending me.Jasper is basically friendless now, since as far as I know A and M were their only friends apart from their boyfriend. I don't think it's my fault, but am I the asshole in this situation?",AITA for not including my friend?,NTA
10wxxdz,"I've lived at my Grandma's for the past year and a half in a converted flat upstairs. This was initially converted for a different family member who lived there for a couple of years as they couldn't afford to live alone, but when they moved out I offered to move in but made it clear my dog would be with me (Grandma ended up loving having the dog, he's very well behaved). I paid half of the bills/insurance/boiler service etc and hoovered so it's a win/win for us both (Grandma doesn't like living alone and I get chance to save for a house, note these bills go up/down depending on what is charged). I have a big family so have never spent much time with her outside of large family gatherings and don't feel much of a connection with her like I do for my parents/siblings.I've since met someone and moved in with them, so have surplus furniture. Low value items I've put in a charity pile ready to be donated and let family know they're welcome to anything in it. Two items I was planning to sell (cost me a lot to purchase) I listed on marketplace, found buyers, then my Auntie let me know that Grandma would like to have them. No problem, I told how much they were listed for. She came back to offer me 75% of that amount -- now, as it's my Grandma I thought okay, giving hera discount would be a kind thing to do, so agree.Then my mother contacts me and, after speaking to the aforementioned Auntie, would like to suggest that I give Grandma that furniture FOC as a ""gesture of goodwill"". I took some time to think about it and decided against it but now I'm not sure if I may be the ""bad"" person for not giving her the furniture...So, AITA for refusing to gift the furniture to my Grandma?​Edited to answer questions: My Grandma would not have been able to rent the property to anyone else. It is not separate from her living areas and has very bad damp and will not be rented to anyone now I've gone. If I hadn't lived with her, I would've lived with my mum for probably the same amount. My Grandma is also not struggling financially.",AITA for not gifting my Grandma the furniture I was planning to sell?,NTA
10x174m,"So, for context, I am not a big fan of dogs in terms of living with them. I love them when I see them out and about or at a friends place, but I appreciate my space dog-free at home. For more context, my boyfriends dad is terminally ill, and doesn’t have much time left. My boyfriend wants to get a dog that resembles his childhood dog once his dad passes away. Which, for the record, I’d be willing to compromise on. However, he will not consider a different breed other than the huge dog-bear St. Bernard itself. I have already agreed to getting one once we move, (which is already a huge compromise because I never wanted a dog to begin with, especially one of that size. and the slobber….) but I will not agree to him to getting one while we live in a just-short-of 700 sq foot one bedroom apartment. He still insists on getting one, regardless of the lack of space and no consideration towards our 2 cats we already have in this tiny apartment. Am I in the wrong here?",AITA for not letting my bf get a dog?,NTA
10x4h69,"Title pretty much explains myself, but I’ll elaborate:My partner and I have been living together for about a year and some change now. Recently, we got into an argument because I said “I feel like you don’t do much of anything to help out around the apartment,” during a period of heated discussion. Context here: I am a full time student, I work a part time job, I do the cooking, laundry, grocery shopping, and am generally the person who does most of the cleaning. He does the dishes and mops maybe once or twice a month. He is in the Armed Forces, and works like a 7:30am-2:00pm or 3:00pm workday. He says I don’t really get it because I don’t do, nor have I ever, worked in manual labor. Am I being unreasonable? I just got into grad school yesterday and he didn’t really offer much congratulations until I asked. Just feeling a bit sour about the whole thing and wanted to see what the Internet has to say about this.",AITA for asking my partner to do more around the house?,NTA
10xn0sf,"My friends and I have been going to this amazing music festival every year for the last 12 years. I was going to share an RV with 5 of my girlfriends. 2 of which are married to each other and get anxiety. We all decided no boys were allowed to stay in the RV and it would be chill. I ended up not being able to go due to health reasons. Another friend, Becky, that doesn’t know the girls I was staying with very well asked me if she could squeeze in one night. I told her yes if her husband wasn’t coming because there was a no boy rule. I also told her it won’t be a crazy party RV. I asked my girls and they said of course so I put them in contact. My closest friend, Kelly, from the RV called me tonight really upset because Becky brought her friend and her friend’s boyfriend to sleep in her bunk without asking the other girls if it was cool. They stayed two nights and brought more people over to party late night while some of the other girls, that paid for the RV, were trying to sleep. They ate their food and drank their drinks and her guests had sex next to her right above one of my girls. Becky paid for her share for two nights but her guests refused to pay anything because they were all crammed in one small bunk despite freely using the entire space. I was pissed and wrote Becky telling her I was super disappointed that I vouched for her and she was disrespectful and what went down was totally not cool. I was curt but not mean. She got super defensive right away and asked why I was yelling at her and ripping her apart. That she had no other choice because her friends would have been stranded. I asked her if she at least asked if it was cool that they stay and she didn’t answer. I responded that I would have made sure my guests were respectful of the space shared with them and I reiterated that I vouched for her and ended up with egg on my face. She apologized that my friends were upset with me but not for what she did. I apologized for coming at her in an accusatory manner and not calling her to ask. So, am I the asshole?",AITA for confronting a friend for disrespecting my other friends,NTA
10wv3j8,"I (F20) am a lesbian, and have been open about being one to my entire family. All my family is supportive (or at least looks to tolerate it), but my brother (M28) bothers me a lot. My brother makes lots of offensive, anti-LGBT jokes that the rest of my family agrees are trash but we say nothing to him because he's extremely argumentative and will basically beat down you that he's right until you give up. I have grown to dislike him, even my parents are irked by him, but we can't say much because he's one of the reasons we can pay the bills right now (my parents have work, but a lot of their money is going towards my school and groceries at the moment).One day during dinner time, he made another joke and I don't know what happened to me, but I completely broke down. I was crying my eyes out and screaming, I could barely get my words out but I was yelling about how sick and tired I was of how awful the jokes were and how hurtful they were. When I was rubbing my eyes, I got moments to see him look shocked and asking stuff like ""What did I do?""Eventually one of my parents had to bring me back to my room to try and calm down but I could still hear my brother downstairs arguing with my other parent asking what he did wrong and why I was so sensitive. I couldn't hear everything, but I remember being called horrible shit for ruining dinner. I wanted to head back down and argue back but I was too emotionally out of it.It's been a week since then but my brother acts like I don't exist. He side eyes me sometimes but that's about it. My parents are still on my side, but I can tell they would have preferred that none of this happened. AITA?",AITA for getting upset over jokes?,NTA
10xmu23,"I (18M) am a senior in high school with a much older friend (23M). I had recently gone through a breakup in which I simply felt too stressed to be able to handle. After a period of being single and dealing with my stress and anxiety, I started hanging out with a friend in my class (F18) who I had previously had a crush on my freshman year, but it had never amounted to anything. We simply started to talk more and more, even hanging out a few times to watch movies like Lord of the Rings. You know, fun things you do with a friend you enjoy being with.However, I learned later that my older friend had recently started dating this girl’s older sister. I was happy for them as they are both good people with fun personalities. This also meant that my friend was getting the run-down on the fact that I was getting closer to (NOT DATING) his girlfriend’s younger sister. He immediately started talking to me about it a lot, giving me his opinion on relationships and the like, which I valued because I respect him. However I was not necessarily looking for a relationship with this girl, though by the way we interacted I could understand the confusion.Suddenly, all of my time spent with my older friend felt like it had to be about this girl. It was touching that he simply wanted us to be able to hangout through our relationships, but I was still not interested. This resulted in my friend and his girlfriend teasing me a lot and even setting us up on a double date which I was extremely uncomfortable with. They were also feeding my friend’s mind ideas of us being together, causing her to develop feelings.Finally, I felt as though we needed to cut things off. I couldn’t be around my friend without being bombarded with teasing messages about it and I apologized and said we would have to hang out less. I also told my older friend I would not be dating this girl.Unfortunately he and I share a friend group of people I am particularly fond of. However, now he seems to resent me for not giving this girl a chance, and makes me the laughing stock of our group. I am all for a little light hearted banter but it hurts sometimes. Additionally, I think with all the mixed input in my female friends mind, I really hurt her. Maybe I should have given a relationship I didn’t really consider a chance? Idk AITA?",AITA for not being with my friend’s girlfriend’s sister?,INFO
10xhtfy,"My (40f) boyfriend (44m) and I sleep in separate bedrooms. This morning, he woke up before me and decided to come cuddle. That would have been very sweet if while still asleep I hadn't thought that there was a burglar in my bedroom. I woke up screaming bloody murder. My boyfriend is mad at me for screaming but I don't think it was my fault because I was still sleeping when it happened. AITA?",AITA for screaming at my boyfriend?,NTA
10wuveh,"My fiancé and I (both mid 30s) intend to get married this year.I did the big wedding thing the first time around and he turned out to be an abusive piece of human trash. I have no desire to do a big wedding or even a small backyard wedding. My fiancé agrees with this choice. He's not big on the showy stuff and neither of us enjoy crowds, too much noise, or being the center of attention. We don't want any guests. This is about us, and the life we share with each other.That being said, my mom has made comments trying to push me to do more. She wants the backyard wedding thing and to invite some family/friends. She directly said I ""can't get married without"" her.It's also important to know that my mom stresses me out. She acts entitled to my time and life (inviting herself for week long visits without asking) and she's made some bad decions in the past that affected me in various negative ways (pushed my ex to propose to me, totaled 2 of my cars, and destroyed my credit when I was 20). There's also some serious glass child history there that I'm working through in therapy.I know she'll try to guilt trip me hard if I tell her I don't want her there (she already does this about visits, and she loves to play the victim in every aspect of life) and she made comments about how hurt she'd be if we were to do it without telling her.But I really don't think her presence (or anyone's) would make me happy.WIBTA if I don't invite her when we get married?",WIBTA if I don't want to invite my mother to my fiancé's and my elopement/courthouse marriage?,NTA
10x76zj,"So today I (29m) was chatting it up with a friend about the new Hogwarts game. He was telling me how much he enjoyed it so far and I jokingly asked him to buy it for me so I could confirm his praise. To my surprise he tells me yes but I still think he's joking. I ask if he is for real and he says yes what platform do I want it on.I dm him my GF steam account and tell him to send it there as I know she wants the game way more then I do. She wakes up and sees she was gifted the game and asked me how I convinced him to gift her the game. Instead of lying and telling her I got him to buy it specifically for her I told her the truth. I told her I didn't convince him to gift it to you. He agreed to give it to me but I told him to send it to you instead. Now she is upset because she was only an ""after thought"" after he agreed to buy me the game(which was originally just a joke question). And it's less meaningful that I didn't ask for the game specifically for her. She's saying that I didn't put her 1st so even though she got the game it has less meaning.Tldr: I jokingly asked a friend to buy me a game. He agreed and I had him send it to my gf. Gf is upset I didn't ask him to buy the game for her specifically.",AITA for telling the truth and not putting my GF 1st.,NTA
10x89cn,"Hi everyone.To establish some backstory I’ve been working at a bank for the last 3 years and when I started it I was young, inexperienced and shy guy not good at selling products or talking to clients at all.Over the years, especially during the last year I changed a lot, I became way more assertive, good at sales and working with clients. Last year we had very good sales and that resolved in high bonuses, more than twice the average yearly income in my area. This year management cut down on our bonuses from sales meaning I have to work twice as hard to get the same money. I made a big fuss about it since we didn’t get a proper raise to our base salary but of course nothing happened. I was told to work hard. Fine.Now I work hard and currently I have made around twice as much for Q1 bonus as my colleagues so far. One of them heard about it and is now demanding we (but really it was meant towards me) refer more clients to her (she’s specialized in insurance and should be the main one doing it in our team) but at the same time management wants us all to do everything. So to please her our management is now basically telling me I work too much and should share my accomplishments with the team. I just said yes to please them but plan to work the same. I don’t understand why I should help her when she’s a senior and accomplished worker with decades of experience it instead of searching for opportunities she demands us give her interested clients. There is way more to this but I don’t want this to get too long. I can elaborate if wanted. AITA for refusing to to bow down to her sharing demands and be a “team player”?",AITA for breaking the workgroup set ways in doing things?,NTA
10x41wk,"This whole event happened a few weeks ago but it’s still on my mind. So I [14F] am a freshman in high school. My 2nd period class had just ended and it was time for my free period in my homeroom class. It’s important to know that my school’s library is located in the middle of the building. There is a history hallway located on one side, and a math hallway located on the other side (so the library is in between the two). And there’s a door on both sides of the library so you can enter/exit both ways. Anyways, my 2nd period was math and my homeroom teacher teaches history. I thought ‘oh! I can just cut through here instead of having to walk all the way around’ (the library is spacious). So I decided to do that because there are a bunch of students at my school. I was just about halfway across and out of no where, my librarian stopped me. He said “Woah woah woah what are you doing? Come here.” He stopped his conversation with another teacher and made me stand in the middle of the library. He told me to look around and tell him what I saw (the library has tall windows, almost like walls, so you can see the lockers and hallways from inside). I told him that I saw students walking in the hallways. He said, “How many students are walking through here?” I answered 0. I can’t exactly remember what he said next, but he was talking to me like I was 4. It really made me feel stupid. I will admit that I cried after leaving. I don’t understand why he couldn’t have just said “you’re not allowed to cut through here.” Why did he have to make me stand in the middle of the library and observe? And again, I’m a freshman (first year there) so I didn’t know about that rule. We had a freshman meeting at the beginning of the school year and my principal didn’t mention anything about that. So I just want to know, AITA?",AITA for cutting through my school library as a shortcut without knowing that it was prohibited?,NTA
10wsttm,"For context my gf is catholic and was raised that way her entire life. I however was raised Christian for most of my childhood and am non-religious now. We are still young and marriage is far off but she has often said that she wants a catholic wedding and that her mom would really want us to have one. I was fine with this initially but got curious and looked up the rules for catholic weddings and there are several aspects of it that I don’t like. The first being that I would have to get baptized as a Christian in order for the marriage to go through. While I was raised Christian, I was never baptized and do not want to be at this point. Another thing being that I would have to attend Catholic Church regularly for 6 months in order for me to be in good standing with the church. I respect religion and would never try to disrespect or put another person down for their religion but I do not want attend church regularly as that is just not what I believe. There’s also other small things like not being allowed to have any pictures at the reception that I think would bother me as pictures are a big thing with me and memories but I think I could look past that one. AITA for not wanting to do these things or should I do these things and go through the motions because I love her.",AITA for not wanting a catholic wedding?,NTA
10xayv8,"I 38f am Continually bickering with my husband 38m. I work full time from home and still mind our 2,yr old. We have a child minder 3 afternoons a week as he didn't want to put him into creche as he doesn't believe the care is as good& doesn't want him getting sick, (I would tend to agree). On the other 2 afternoons he takes the baby for approx 1hr for a walk as he also works from home. He is an excellent loving and attentive father but a demanding husband. I'm expected to look after the baby the rest of the time and work as my job is being made redundant next year it shouldn't be a priority. He also regularly texts me about things that need to be done round the house while I'm at work. Simple things like laundry that needs done or hoovering etc. He makes the family evening meal every night and I wash up and put the baby to bed. We're also renovating our new house at the moment so he has been doing a lot of work around the house. I've also been going through ivf so on lots of meds and happily am 6 weeks pregnant but tired and have had complications so need to take it easy.I've told him that I am at full capacity and if he wants more house work completed/ boxes unpacked/organized we need to get a cleaner (we don't have the money for this). He says the house is dusty and unclean and that I'm letting our son down by not looking after him properly. So the question is AITA?",AITA for saying enough is enough?,NTA
10wveah,"Sorry, English is not my first language!I think this needs context about my family. My parents got divorced when I was a toddler and both of them are very defensive about money issues. My dad did pay child support, but never wanted to pay anything more. My mom resents him for that, while my dad and his side of the family consider that paying child support was already a lot (some did say that my dad shouldn’t have to pay it and that my mom should handle everything on her own).This general situation has created a lot of tension and rifts in the family. Indeed, my mom considers I never ask anything of them, while they imply my mom and I are only interested in money. Last year I bought a flat. My mom lent me some money to help me. When I asked my dad if he would do the same, he told me he didn’t have any money to spare. I didn’t insist, and though I was disappointed, I wasn’t mad at him. My aunt offered me to lend me some money but it made me feel uneasy and didn’t accept it. I took a loan at the bank and bought the flat. A couple months ago I hit a hard patch, and I was concerned I would have financial problems for a little while. I knew it would be tough and I needed money quick. I didn’t want to ask either of my parents for money: my mom had already helped me a lot, and my dad had already told me he didn’t have any to spare. When my parents were married, they bought a bunch of art. They knew it would be a hassle to divide it in the divorce, so they gave it all to me. Some of it is at my mom, some of it in a storage room. It was a great gift, and it is very dear to me. Anyway, I still decided to sell one of the pieces to get the financial help. It had been in the storage room for more than 20 years and I didn’t think it would be missed… Though sentimentally it was a lot to take in. I didn’t tell my dad about it. I guess I knew he would not approve of it, and I didn’t want to start a fight. And I also was a bit ashamed to be in this situation. Plus, some family friends advised me not to tell him, they thought he would ask me money.With the sale, I was able to repay my mom and get through the tough times. It has given me some piece of mind. However, my dad eventually found out about the sale and he’s extremely pissed. This is how it went: he said I had backstabbed him. He compared me to Judas. He said he had thought of disowning me because of that. He said  he felt used. That our relationship would never be the same. That it was my payback because he didn’t help me with the apartment. That I should have accepted the money from my aunt instead. It was a hurtful conversation, and since then his side of the family has gone NC. Though I understand that not telling him beforehand was not considerate, aita for handling it that way and not involving him ? I feel it was my decision to make anyway, and I don’t understand his reaction. It’s too much imo and he could be happy for me.",AITA for selling a piece of art my parents gave me?,NTA
10wu07z,"I (27F) was visiting with 2 friends of mine Taffeta(26F) and Vanellope(28F). Taffeta is married to Turbo(36M) and they have 2 kids together. Vanellope is a single mom of a single child and I have 2 kids as well. So this was our first time all getting to hang out child free and partner free in years because Turbo hates when Taffeta goes anywhere with out him, especially if he is ""stuck"" watching their kids for her to do so. However I missed my friends so I payed for a babysitter for her so she could actually come out with us for once. Well the whole time Turbo is blowing up her phone and just won't leave her alone. During the whole 3 hours we were together her phone is going off like crazy all from him.  And also during this whole time she is telling us how much she does not like her husband and how he treats her and the kids badly.Then she confesses to us that she is having an affair and is in love with affair guy, we can call him Ralph.  Well her and Ralph have apparently been seeing each other for awhile and she pretends she is working extra hours to see him since Turbo refuses work. Now I will not lie I do not like Turbo and neither does Vanellope. We have had an issue with him and their relationship for years. Well apparently Taffeta and Ralph have decided they want a baby together and actively trying for a baby. After she tells us all this to me and Vanellope and we both look at each other in an uncomfortable way but since Vanellope has anxiety I chose to speak to Taffeta about the situation first. I told her that I don't care for Turbo and I'm glad she found someone that makes her happy but having an affair is wrong and if she is really done with Turbo she should leave him. She got mad at me and Vanellope who didn't even say anything to her for ""ganging up on her husband"". And then after 3 hours of talking about how horrible he is and we have seen him treat her and the kids badly, she proceeded to say ""we don't really know him and sometimes he treats her so good by letting her take a nap with him while her mom watches their kids"". Also to note they live with her mom and I'm not shaming her for that, but that's why her mom watches the kids when she gets home. I decided not to say anything else and I feel like I didn't say anything mean or that crosses the line per say. But maybe I'm wrong? AITA?Edit so I don't have to write a bunch of comments saying the same thing: Me and Vanellope are planning to invite her over to sit down and talk about the situation and let her know we highly disagree with her actions and if she continues on this path we will have to distance ourselves from her. However we also agreed to tell her that she needs to tell her husband about the affair or we will. Normally I would say it's not my place but since they are actively trying for a baby I agree he should know even if don't like him.She has Friday off so that's when we will be meeting with her to talk. I will give an update after.",AITA for telling my friend she should leave her husband?,NTA
10xabcv,"Ok. I’m in Australia.If eligible, we can claim certain types of benefits from the government for many types of things. Not just in a “welfare” type way. We have rental assistance, Medicare, single parenting assistance, family tax benefit, job seeker payment… you get the picture.Someone asked me “hey, do you get money from the government for having kids?”… to which I said no. Weeks later, I mentioned that I received a family tax benefit payment (if eligible, an automatic yearly payment can get paid to you at the end of the financial year when taxes are balanced - amount is variable depending on your income)… Now, the plot thickens. This person has come down hard on me for “lying” about my original answer. In all honesty, I legitimately assumed they meant a payment, like a weekly or fortnightly thing. Which no, I do not receive. I work. I pay my taxes. I don’t need child support from the government. So… AITA for answering incorrectly in the first place? What would you have assumed they meant when they said “hey, do you get money from the government for having kids?”I am aware of how silly this is, I am resorting to reddit for clarification.",AITA for answering an innocent question the wrong way?,NTA
10xg4ri,"Bit of a long story… Just over a year ago a family member passed away. Because of that I wasn’t at University for 3 weeks. When I returned, my friend was ignoring me and acting like I’d done something wrong. When I spoke to her about it she said “you were being too negative and pushing me away so i thought i should just leave you alone”. We eventually resolved the issue but honestly I’ve never fully forgiven her. She wasn’t there for me when I needed her even when I resolved things with her I felt like I couldn’t talk to her about anything in case she started ignoring me for being negative again. Anyway, now that same friend is in a similar situation to the one I was in. She found out a relative doesn’t have much time left and I’m finding it really hard to be there for her. She’s been messaging me with updates on the situation and I’m trying to be there for her and check in to see how she’s feeling but am I the asshole for not wanting to? I feel like I should be there for her more as I haven’t spoken to her about it in a few weeks but what she did to me when I was in her situation keeps going through my head. I don’t know what to do. Not being there for her doesn’t make me feel good because two wrongs don’t make a right and what happened with me was some time ago now but I just can’t get it out of my head. Am I the asshole?",AITAH for not being there for my friend,ESH
10x3hu3,"In middle school, during graduation, the class president would list the names of all the students, one by one, and they would walk on stage to receive their diploma, and, even if you had never met anyone from my middle school graduating class, you would be able to tell which students were popular based on the reactions they got when they went on stage. The kids who had a lot of friends would be greeted by a crowd that would erupt with applause and cheers, where as the kids who struggled to make friends would be met with silence. The guy before me was one of the popular kids, the guy after me was also one of the popular kids. I was not. I found the whole experience humiliating, and by the end I just wanted to curl up into a ball and cry in a corner where no one could see me. In high school it was the same thing, but somehow worse. I was my class valedictorian so I had so give a speech during graduation. I just saw the whole ordeal of writing, and preparing a speech to be stressful, and I have bad stage fright so I was extremely nervous while giving the actual speech, and the applause I got at the end of it was meek. This isn't an accomplishment I was proud of, it's something I was embarrassed by. Now I'm graduating college this semester, and, so far it's been a miserable, lonely experience. I actually found it more difficult to make connections in college than in high school, despite making more of an effort to get out of my shell. I wasn't cool enough to get into the frat groups I tried to join, I never got invited to parties, I never really had a girlfriend or even been on a date, which, since I'm an older college student (I had to take a few years off because of depression) is downright emasculating. I have a few people I text occasionally, but no one I really hang out with on the weekend. I found out recently that a few of the girls in one of my classes were making fun of me behind my back, calling me a creepy incel (these are people I had no interest in and never hit on). I'm just done with this place. I don't think I can make any lasting connections in my final semester. The social aspect of college that everyone raved about, how it's the best years of your life and you should cherish them before you enter the real world and obtaining friendships and relationships only gets harder, just... did not come true for me. I just want to pass my classes and get out of here as painlessly as possible.I told my mom I don't want to attend graduation. They can mail the diploma to my house for all I care, I just don't want to attend the ceremony and put myself through that again. She yelled at me about how selfish I was. Apparently it's been her dream ever since she was pregnant with me to see me walk on stage to receive my college diploma, and since I don't have any siblings, if I choose not to attend, she will never get to experience that.",AITA for not wanting to attend my own college graduation?,NTA
10wrvse,"So, there's this weird situation in my household. I (38/M) live in the same house as my sisters (36/F & 29/F) and their children (4/F & 12/M, respectively).My sisters have this arrangement where they just leave loads of laundry in the washer and dryer (sometimes for multiple days on end) and whoever needs to put a load in is responsible for unloading/folding/putting away what's already in the dryer, transferring what's in the washer to the dryer and then washing their own clothes. When that load is ready to dry, they then have to unload/fold what's in the dryer in order to dry the load they put in the washer.All of this seems completely insane to me. I'm of the opinion that if you start something, you should finish it. I don't expect either of them to move my clothes from one appliance to another, nor do I expect or *want* them folding my clothes. When I put laundry in the washer, I do so with the full expectation that I will also be the one drying/folding/putting it away.I understand that they are both working, single mothers, so sometimes they have to throw a load in to wash before they go to work. I understand that the washer and dryer will not always be empty whenever I want to do a load.The problem is that neither the washer nor the dryer are *ever* empty; they've basically just become extended storage places for clothing that someone doesn't want to deal with right now.What's more, I feel like their expectation that I clear the appliances when I need to do a load of laundry is completely impractical. I work second shift, so when I am able to do laundry, everyone else is asleep.  I can't very well go folding laundry in the living room (where my youngest sister sleeps) and then put it away in the bedroom where my older sister and my baby neice are sleeping.My Dad and Mom (68/M & 62/F), who own the house but live in a different house and do most of their laundry at their house, think that I'm the unreasonable one.They might be right. I admittedly have a track record for being an AH, but something about this arrangement seems so convoluted and lazy to me. Surely it cannot be good for either clothes or the washing machine to sit with excess moisture in the drum for several days on end?Has anyone experienced a situation like this before? How did you resolve it?EDIT: I'm going to upvote every response I get, even the ones that I don't want to hear, because I am genuinely that desperate for insight.",AITA for not wanting to finish my sisters' laundry,NTA
10xciwk,Okay so basically ive been thinking about this for a long time well basically my grandfather was in a short term visit (waiting for them too die basically) and me and my whole family was there my hair was a complete mess near my roots i mightve accidentally bleached a ton of hair off and it looks horrible that day my grandfather was literally in his death bed and my dads sister asked me too take my hood off and i said no my hairs a mess id be ashamed and she said ''he could die today.'' (he didnt die that day but he is dead tho.) so am i the asshole for not taking my hood off so my grandpa could recognize me even tho he was sleeping all the time?,AITA for not taking my hood off?,YTA
10wtkws,"TL;DR - Friend - ''Jason'' (M23) was given tickets to see the Lakers play the Bucks, turns out this game gets hyped up as Lebron might break the scoring record on that night. Tickets skyrocket in price and said friend doesn't cash in at the right time. Lebron breaks the record the game before and I (22M) bear the fall out. Now we aren't speaking.So this is a situation I find myself in right now and it honestly is really frustrating me and caused an unnecessary headache.So, my friend works for X firm in California tech and was given tickets for the Lakers vs the Bucks a while ago, which is set to be played this week. He got given 2 tickets and was pumped about it.Anyways, over the last week or 2 these tickets started to go up in price due to the potential of Lebron James breaking the all time NBA scoring record in this game. My friend kept telling me how much these tickets could be worth and how he'd hit the jackpot here.Anyways, to keep it short, after many screenshots of prices on ticket selling websites like TicketMaster etc. and Jason being hysterical over the whole circus for days on end, it finally gets to around 1 or 2 days before the Lakers vs OKC game. The significance of this is that it was almost certain that the OKC game or the Bucks game would be the game that LBJ would do it. Prices for the two tickets he had were around $6,000-$7,500. He kept going back and forth with me on whether now was the right time to cash in or whether he should hold and 'go big'.Seeing as Lebron was 36 points off the record, I told him that maybe he should cash in now and list his tickets for resell as there was no guarantee that Lebron wouldn't break the record against OKC, which would result in the resale value of his tickets to tank.He said he thought about it but really wanted to go big as he had a debt this could really help him pay off. So at this point I didn't push any harder. He was confident. Ok dude.So, last night, Lebron James beat the all-time record against OKC, thus taking away almost all of this extra value that had been added to resale prices of Jason's tickets....Jason was hysterically whining like a toddler saying that he wish he would've cashed in and that I'm a bad friend for not 'pushing him harder' or 'forcing' him to cash in on the tickets beforehand. He was screaming down the phone last night after the game to me and I swear I've never heard him like this, which made me feel slightly guilty. I know it sounds ridiculous but he is genuinely angry at me for this and after his outburst he hung up and is actively ignoring my texts and calls.Oh and also, the main reason Jason is angry is because he says that I knew how much this money could've helped with his debts and I should've taken charge of the situation????At this point I'm ready to throw in the towel on our whole friendship to be honest, I'm done with his shit.AITA?",AITA for not pushing my friend harder to cash in on the value of his LA Lakers tickets in wake of Lebron James breaking the All-time scoring record?,NTA
10x0aon,"Basically a friend of mine, Jade often says things ignorantly. One time she asked a friend of mine ( who's a POC) if she could speak english. This friend has hanged out with us multiple times and everyone knew she understood more than she could speak but, again J doesn't thik before she talks. Jade also one time called a black dude in my class a monkey ( I called her out) and said that she needed to get vaccinated because mmigrants spread diseases and she was scared (she was genuenly frightned tho). Everyone in my friend group often dismisses what she says. Maybe it's because they're all white but idk.​Today I was with another friend, Mia, she literally hates our entire friend group and always talks shit. A randome girl from class named Emma was hanging out with Mia and I, the friend I mentioned eariler was brought up. Mia told Emma what Jade told my friend and went on to say that Jade was racist. I agreed.​Emma then went and told her friends and talked about it loudly in class and our friendgroup hear. I pretended not to know anything but after I literally leave for one second, Mia told our friend group that we were the ones who started the rumor. ​We got in an argument, Jade saying multiple times that she's not racist and the other two in the group agreeing. I said that she has to be able to stand up for something that she said and that they don't understand the struggle but they kept explaing how she has good intenions (they said that  jade was just saying how sad it was that my friend wasn't that good at english because comunication is difficult. not really how my friend said it but sure) and that other people in our class have nothing to do with this anyway.  Mia is hella mad but I get how (even though it wasn't me who said it) we shouldn't spread rumors and that Jade and the other girl should have figured it out themselves or whatever. ​I do also want to point out that Jade isn't really that racist, she  just doesn't really understand how to behave socially and not to sound mean but I do think that she has some sort of mental problem. A lot of people don't like her because of the things she says especially Mia who always talks shit about her. I do feel kind of bad for her to be labled as a racist if she actually doesn't understand or has some problem but I really don't know what her deal is.",AITA for spreading rumors about a close friend,NTA
10xjyju,Context: basicly this guy trusted this girl with his elmo toy then she decided to draw on it and threw it then I told the teacher on her because the elmo toy probably costed around 25 bucks so I thought it was messed up for doing that to someone's belonging am I the asshole?,AITA for telling the teacher on this girl who drew and threw this guys elmo toy,NTA
10xjrxm,"So, I'm about to begin my last year of secondary school, and it has become like a tradition for last year students to get their own hoodie. Since my classmates had no intentions of doing anything I decided to do it myself. I presented them two options, the hardest one was the one chosen, so I had to create six diferent logos (in my country, each student can pick a professional path in their fifth year and follow it the last year), I did it and I presented it to them today. They didn't like it, it's totally, I don't actually mind changing the logos (that's the reason why I sent it to them, so they can give me their honest opinion), but, then they decided they wanted a whole new idea, and not gonna lie I hated it. I think those new hoodies they want are ridiculous and I'll never wear one of those (if I don't like it I can wear the normal hoodie, I don't have to wear the new design).Now, they expect me to be responsible for those hoodies when they picked something and then decided that they wanted something else. I feel angry because I lost my time doing those designs just so they could throw it away as soon as a 'better option' appeared, I assume it might just be my pride and the fact that things didn't went as I wanted, but I don't think I should be responsible for the new hoodies.Also I'm not sure how to aproach to them without looking resentful (I'm kinda are tho) or looking pathetic, I don't want them to hate me (1 already think some of them don't like me that much, some of there were on my side anyway). I don't think they'll be able to do something if I'm not there pressuring, don't want to underestimate them, tho.So, WIBTA if I tell my classmates I won't be responsible for our graduate hoodies?",WIBTA if I tell my classmates I won't be responsible for our graduate hoodies?,NTA
10x3vix,"I (49M) have an 18 year old daughter, Selene. We didn't have the best relationship after her mother and I split up when she was ten, but she moved in with me for university because her university is in my city and she didn't want to be alone in student halls. I don't how to describe my daughter's temperament without using old fashioned terms like 'delicate' but that's exactly how she is. She's easily overwhelmed, prone to paranoia and bouts of depression. She's been taken to get evaluated a few times and she's been told each time that there's nothing wrong. I'm no psychologist, but a lot of her mother's family is like this (including my eldest son, her brother) so it might be a genetic thing. Bipolar disorder also runs in her mother's family but until now, she hasn't displayed any symptoms. She's very insecure over her mental health and the possibility of bipolar disorder so any mention of it usually earns me a sharp comment and a dirty look.Selene has been feeling extra paranoid recently. One of her books went missing and she believed that I had taken it, and she didn't let it go until I let her search my office at work. The book is still missing and it's all she talks about. This weekend, my son (21M), Henry, came to visit. Henry and Selene honestly just enable eachother's anxiety/paranoia. Henry is slightly less like this but whenever Selene tells him about what she's anxious or paranoid about, they both end up making it a million times worse than it actually is. On Sunday, Selene and Henry were talking about the missing book and they both decided that it must be in the attic. The attic hasn't been opened in months so I told them it was impossible but they insisted on going up there. This ended up with Selene falling off the ladder and fracturing her arm.She's not injured herself (to my knowledge) due to her worries and strange fixations before but now that she has, I'm very worried. I spoke to her mother on Monday which wasn't useful, but I decided that Selene needed to get evaluated again or at the very least, see a counsellor. I was nervous about suggesting this because she'll assume I'm calling her crazy but I took her out for dinner yesterday and told her that I was worried. I said that I wanted her to start seeing someone and she got really upset and ended up crying. We went home and this morning I received a phone call from Henry who told me that Selene was upset that I wouldn't accept the normal results from her previous evaluations. Basically, she thinks I'm calling her crazy.I know that because of my previous bad relationship with her, guilt is driving a lot of my actions because I want to make up for lost parenting. I'm thinking that because of this and her insecurity, I'm the AH for suggesting counselling even though she's mentally well.AITA?",AITA for suggesting that my daughter needs to see a counsellor?,NTA
10xasov,"English is not my first language. Throwaway.I'm m19 and so is he. We're both uni students at the same major but hold kind of different lifestyles. I like to spend some time alone and do nothing while he's always involved in some different shit each day. He holds a very active lifestyle, goes to gym, stays healthy, goes out for walks, etc, but he's also a risk taker and can get involved in some petty street drama with some shady dudes in the neighborhood.He encourages I hold a similar lifestyle to his (keeping it active wise), but I always brush it off by saying that I don't want to be involved in the dangerous parts of his lifestyle. Not to mention that I know some of the guys he's involved with and they didn't exactly treat me well in the past (he doesn't know about this though). Sometimes he would come into my house not looking too good or even call me when he knew he couldn't even stand still. I always came and helped but told him that I don't like the lifestyle he's living at all.Fast forward to prev. week he got involved in some stupid drama again and wanted me to get him home or to my place. At that point I really had enough. I asked him if he can walk or get in the bus and if he does then I won't be coming and that he'd have to deal with this one by himself. He hang up.I think I may be the asshole for not trying to find him after he left me without a respond, but I had enough of enabling his behavior and felt like this may give him a wake up call. He called me a jerk and an asshole though for not being there for him when I was needed.AITA?",AITA for not coming rescuing my friend when he needed my help?,NTA
10xjbci,"So for context we are both students in different education institutions. My friend is currently in the middle of handling orientation, and is an orientation leader to a group of new students. My friend texted me today about there being a bat (yes, the animal) in a box on the stage in the main hall. It was next to the blaring speaker in the hall full of loud and screaming people and she only found out about it because other students were telling her to not touch the box, it had a bat trapped in it. She had to move the box because it was in the way, but apart from texting me about it she had simply left the hall with her orientation group, continuing on their schedule, having done nothing about the bat.I went off on her, freaking out about the bat being trapped inside the box, it being next to the speaker (bats have sensitive ears and it was likely terrified and in a lot of pain) and generally being pissed that several people, including her, were aware of this situation and didn't do anything about it immediately, like release the bat or call our local wildlife rescue group. She got defensive with me, explaining that she feels ill, the schedule for orientation is really tight, everyone she knows is extremely busy with orientation as well and can't take time off to deal with the bat, and she herself couldn't do anything since she was preoccupied with her orientation group. Any staff she knew were all in other classes, and she didn't think anyone else would give a shit about the bat even though she did, so she just left it thinking there was nothing she could do and carried on. She dismisses my suggestion to go straight to the student office to at least let the school know there was a bat in a box in the main hall, saying she couldn't leave her orientation group for a second and there was no one else who would be willing to go down.I got really pissed at this, because the welfare of a living being takes priority over guiding a group of students around a school, especially since she gave up immediately on the idea of ensuring the bat was okay and just left it. She doesn't think this is an issue because they will clear the hall by the end of today anyways since the bat is in the way, but many people are unaware of the wildlife help hotline and don’t know how to safely release a bat. Whereas she has all this information, so she had the obligation to ensure the bat's safety. I thought she was being irresponsible, letting an animal be stressed and possibly hurt, and should have done whatever she could to let someone who could handle the situation know of the bat, even if it involved her leaving her orientation group in the hands of someone else.I am honestly still really angry at her and want to push her on the issue but she's standoffish right now and I want to know if I was justified or just overreacting and being unreasonable and nosy before I push her on it.",AITA for being upset with my friend for not doing anything about a bat in a box?,YTA
10x38at,"I  (19M) have had several problems with my lungs, breathing and sinuses  since I was a child. I don't know the exact details so I can only tell  what I remember. I had to get surgery done once, and then I had to  usually go to a hospital so they would hook me up to a machine that was  supposed to help me with my issues, then I had to take medication at  home. During my childhood, I had plethora of problems because of this, I  couldn't breathe properly so I was always tired, I couldn't keep up  with the other kids while running or playing sports, then in my teenage  years I got somewhat chubby because I couldn't practice any sport at  all, it always felt like I was about to suffocate, even while just  walking.My mom (50F) have always  smoked next to me. Most of the times we were indoors without any open  windows and she would smoke the whole afternoon next to me, other times  she would invite her friends home and I'd have to spend the whole  afternoon next to 6 or 7 adults that were smoking all day long.  I feel  that being exposed to that much smoke aggravates  all of my health  problems, and not only that, it gets me nauseous  and because of how  many times I've asked my mom not to smoke near me since I was a child,  it also generates me some anxiety.As  of today, my mom and my brother (22M) both smoke at home. I've asked  them many times to please smoke outside, as it takes them little effort.  They've always refused and always made a drama out of it. Other times  I've asked them to let me know whenever they're going to smoke so I can  go for a walk while the smoke goes away, they made a drama out of it and  called me manipulative. I know it's not my home and they can do  whatever they want, but I'm tired of all the smoke making me feel bad,  all of my clothing smoking like tobacco, the food I eat smoking like  tobacco... even my cat smells like tobacco anytime I want to pet him.  Last time I asked my mom not to smoke at home, she said that I was  abusive and threatened with kicking me out of home.I  could go sleep somewhere else but this is the house I grew up in so  it's really hard for me. Am I being an asshole for asking them not to  smoke indoors? I'm being too exaggerated for considering going sleep  somewhere else because of the smoke?",AITA for asking my family not to smoke inside?,NTA
10wubub,"My (21m) ex (20f) left me as I made her unhappy and felt too responsible for my emotions. Since then, I’ve found it quite uncomfortable seeing her and hearing her. Often enough it ends up in me vomiting. Our common friend circle hangs out with her in the kitchen below my bedroom. I can hear everything through the floor and it makes being about my room distressing. I shot her a message asking her to be conscientious that she’s hanging about in ear shot of my place and that I’d appreciate the space. After we talked about the message as she wanted me to specify what I wanted. I told her I’d like her to avoid the kitchen and not always go to the things the group does as I’m not coping well with bumping into her and hearing her and seeing her. She told me that I was trying to ostracise her. I said it was as I’m having a rough time of the break up and that I throw up when I see her. She asked if I thought what I asked was reasonable and I admitted it was selfish but that I was desperate. Either way she wasn’t happy with what I asked of her and hasn’t spoken to me since. I shot her a message trying to have a chat about it but she didn’t get back to me. Now I have a mutual friend telling me she’s uncomfortable hanging about the group and the kitchen worrying about how she’s affecting me.I want to be on good terms with her. I’ve doubted myself a lot with her and I just don’t know if it’s constructive self awareness or overthinking in vain.",AITA for asking my ex to not hang about where I live and telling her the specifics of why,YTA
10xit9z,"35 years ago, I lost my older brother to cancer at the age of 16. He was my hero and only sibling. On the night before his funeral my dad let me drink alcohol with he and my uncle. After we were all drunk, my dad told me that I had to live the life of two sons for him since my brother had passed away.Today I live with my parents and rely on their support. I am disappointed in myself and feel like I have let my dad down. I struggle with mental health issues, and I have turned my life into a series of failures, all of which I take full responsibility for. I've kept the conversation to myself for 35 years, never wanting to hurt my dad. However, after a recent argument, I exploded and with much vitriol, told my dad about what he said all those years ago and how it made me feel like I wasn't good enough.  I also brought up all the other times he's made me feel this way in the past. In my anger, I wanted to hurt him as much as he hurt me. I was so angry and over the top, that even the dogs and cats ran and hid . I regret my behavior and how I exploded, but I feel like my dad should apologize or at least acknowledge that he hurt me.Am I the Asshole for wanting an apology for something said 35 years ago while intoxicated?",AITA for wanting an apology for something that was said 35 years ago?,YTA
10x7bno,"So I’ve been dating this girl for over a year and it’s been amazing! everything is fine except two problems she lives 2 hours away and I work 12 hours shifts at a factory… To elaborate I work 3-4 12 hours shifts a week and it varies from night shift to day shifts and as soon as I’m done I drive an hour and a half to go to her (only if I don’t work the next day) but sometimes i work 6pm to 6am then drive to her house to work which means I’m tired. The problem is that she wants me to wake up when she does and gets mad when I don’t.. which leads to me getting mad, which begs the question… AITA for thinking I should be able to sleep until my body decides to wake up? Because it causes a lot friction between us because she just wants to hangout with me and I just wanna sleep sometimes. And I know it’s because she loves me and just wants to hangout with me but I loose so many hours of sleep between hanging out with her as much as I can and going to work… I feel like I do so much to make this work and that it’s not fair for her to get mad at me for being too tired, particularly after working one of the hardest most body tolling shifts of my life. So can someone let me know if I’m in the wrong here so I don’t keep fucking up.Ps I love this women with everything I have and wouldn’t change a thing about her I just need to know if I’m in the wrong?",AITA for needing sleep?,NTA
10xig1j,"My sister (28F) and I (26F) are currently in a rocky place in our relationship, and she has been calling and texting me nonstop. She is showing up at my house yelling every couple of hours and one of my neighbors even called the cops. I was telling a friend of mine what was happening in such a short time since the incident that has torn us apart and she suggested reporting her for harassment. I want to wait a few more days to see if my sister calms down a bit, but I am considering it. My sister is the type to take things a little too far when she's mad. When we were younger she would often hurt the people around her when she was angry, she really can't control herself in that state. I do not blame her for what she did. She did not mean to hurt me. I am currently staying with my friend.",WIBTA for reporting my sister for harassment?,INFO
10wwaan,"My grandfather doesn't like computers much but he loves Wikipedia. He used to go to his local library and print out Wikipedia articles to take home but was told it wasn't reasonable use so I've been letting him use my printer and printing things off for a while now.Obviously this is a terrible waste of paper and I wish I'd never agreed to do it for him, so for his birthday this year I bought him an iPad. I thought it would be simpler than a laptop or a computer and he could finally read all the Wikipedia he wanted withoutHe hasn't been happy and my dad (his son) says that it was really rude and worse than just saying I wasn't happy with him using my printer as it's ignoring his preference for paper and trying to force screens on him which I knew he didn't like. I'm pretty upset at the cost of the iPad that I feel has been thrown back in my face and it's all dissolvedvpretty fast and got fairly ugly.I just wanted to avoid using my printer throwing out hundreds of sheets of paper a month unnecessarily and to allow him to read all the Wikipedia he wants in a more accessible way but aita here?",AITA for buying my grandfather an ipad,NTA
10wtxc9,"For context; I, 21F, live with my girlfriend, 24F, and her family.I pay rent + food, I clean the kitchen that’s my contribution.I suffer from depression and disordered eating, binge eating is common for me…for a while I lost a lot of weight and finally liked my body, turns out I am just diabetic, then I just wouldn’t take my insulin and eat what I could…I still do, but I’m not losing weight anymore and I’m gaining it.I try to avoid trigger foods, so I do not buy chocolate but it’s fine if people buy it for themselvesI’m not horribly overweight, chubby maybe but I’m not happy.I bought groceries for a week, and it was a real eye opener because I’d spent like £200 on just dinners for a week for 7 people and considering we eat plant based there were no veg or fruit just frozen processed stuff.I messaged everyone on the family group chat;“Any suggestions for food? Here’s some links, if I don’t hear back I’ll be picking” I reminded everyone for two days and nobody had any suggestions I’m working out more; 3km in morning, 3km in the afternoon and a run with the dog and eating healthy has made me feel better and my insulin drastically went down in doses. Point is I just wanna focus on myself.But everyone’s complaining I don’t ask them what they want, I know they don’t like meals..like MIL won’t eat stir fry, I made stir fry or BIL (13) won’t eat sweet and sour and I made sweet and sour .Everyone’s upset but each time I remind them a) my doctor said my A1C (blood sugars) are dangerously high, that I ask them before I go food shopping for the week and get no responses I get a lecture.I don’t think I’m TA, but my girlfriend says since we’re staying with her family and I know certain meals won’t go down well that I should just buy what they want in a healthier version.I pointed out I made chilli, I don’t like spicy sauce but I still did spicy for them or curry even when I once again, do not like spice.AITA?",AITA for cooking meals only I like?,ESH
10xcso5,"I play a fair amount of dead by daylight in my free time and it is very common to get angry comments under my steam profile when someone is salty. Most of the time it's something along the lines of ""2700 hours and you still play like this? I should have known, since you're from \*place where I live\*"". I used to just ignore it, but then it really started to get on my nerves, so I wrote ""Feel like going to the circus? Why waste money, when you can look at all the clowns in my comment section crying about a video game?"" + salt shaker and crying clown emoji, into my description. Originally, I thought it was kinda funny, but then I started to wonder if it was gonna make me look like an asshole, or some sort of insecure jerk.",AITA for mocking people on my steam profile?,NTA
10xi728,"F here, I’ve been currently suffering from a dilemma with my current friends and my boyfriend. My boyfriend, let’s call him King, had a lot of drama with my friends over last summer while defending a friend of his in a group chat. She has a terrible sense of tone indication and she apologized for it many times, however my friend called her out in a rather rude manner in a group chat of around 10 people. (I was not present during this) Words were said that he regretted later, however when we all tried to talk things out. One of two friends involved, we’ll call this one Bee. Bee has mild anger issues, and things started to get heated fairly quickly. He compared to Bee as one of his toxics ex and yelled at the two of them for attempting to threaten to take me away from him. (Which happened over text) And they immediately clapped back saying that they could and would do that if he stepped out of line again. Eventually they all stoped talking and my boyfriend left the room. Since then, many more things have happened that I don’t even fully understand. But things started to get unbelievable bad between me and my boyfriend whenever I’d hang around my friends. He’d get upset with me, refuse to call me, wouldn’t hang out with me for a couple days before we’d agree to apologize and move on. But he has problems trying to move on this entire situation. Unintentionally he’d make me feel bad and start a fight with me whenever I wanted to hang out with those friends. But I mean they had hurt him a lot, so I knew where he was coming from, but they were my friends, I can’t just drop them like nothing. But these fights were to the point where he would try to hurt me back until the point where I just caved and went home so I wouldn’t be crying in front of my friends. They were the ones who got me through all of lockdown. But they had wronged him and one of his friends, over something so simple, and slowly started to even try to break us up. As well as try to use their previous threats many many times again. I’m also so heavily in love with this man. Despite this making him sound controlling he’s literally the nicest guy ever and I want to marry him when we can. But he has a tendency to guilt trip me when in truth I just want to see my friends.However, I have a lot of separation anxiety with the people I’ve gotten close too. Even if they are the biggest assholes I find myself stuck in situations I can’t get out because I can’t leave mentally. (This all came from a lot of past trauma.) I have attempted to separate myself from all of this drama since it never really involved me in the first place. But I always get dragged back in by both parties. And I’m at the point where neither side will discuss anything with me when I’m being forced to feel like the asshole for not choosing between either of them.EDIT HERE: Okay so I didn’t include enough information so added a lot more.More edits: in desperately trying to give any information I missed and I’m so sorry for not having enough originally!! So, am I the asshole?I genuinely asking for advice here, because I’m at the point where I just want this all to end.",AITA for refusing to pick sides,INFO
10x65v0," I (19F) recently came to university, I live in the school dorm and met my roommate (22F). She and I were completely cool with each other, no issue with each other at all, she helped me a lot when I came here. We live in a very cold country, can be up to -30 degree Celsius or more. I had so much inconvenience living with her and got sick so may times but I had to let it be because she was nice to me in the beginning and I didn't want her to have any discomfort. It all started when I brought a new table into the room. I had been working on my bed since I arrived for a year and gave me backache as I am studying architecture. So the dorm provided me a new one which was the same size as hers because my old one was very small and too high, I couldn't work with it.She was mad that the table was too big and it was apparently blocking her from opening the window. She didn't tell me and I didn't care because she already had 3 chairs and an extra mini table in the room, all I wanted was space for by bed and my table to work. Eventually we changed the room and she had her space to open the window.It was around -15, there was no need to open the window as the room was already cold but she was opening the window. While people are warm in their room, I had to suffer the cold in the room and outside the building. She started opening the window longer and I would close it when I felt it was open too long, sometimes she'd open it at night and I'll wake up with a sour throat.We were at -36degrees and everyone was shaking and shivering in their room, she opened the window in our room because she was apparently feeling hot and the room was twice as cold as anybody's room. After leaving the window open and its freezing, she goes and spends the day in her boyfriends room.  At that point I was tired of being nice to her only because she was nice to me when I came.We resumed school and now I left before her, before she leaves she opens the window ad locks the room and by the time I come back, the room Is as cold as outside and I would have to sit in a jacket and work shivering all day until the built in heater finally warmed the room.She took away her heater and took it to her boyfriends room. She only comes back to our room to sleep and spends the rest of the day in his room so every time I come back with the window open, I was the only one in the room, she was never in the room to suffer the cold. I kept telling her to close it before she leaves but she never does and she keeps getting pisses.Today she got so mad and screamed at me saying that because ""You're the second one to come into the room you should follow my rules"" and I said ""We pay the same amount to be in this room so you has no right to set any rules, until you pay my bills for me, I'm not listening to you"" I'd rather have her open the window multiple times a day that for her to leave it open and go to school because it's terrible to work in a freezing cold room.AITA",AITA for telling my roommate to close the window,NTA
10x3pgt,"Edit. sorry for the grammar mistakesSo I will try to keep this as short as possible whilst having detail of all events. This is a throwaway account as i dont want anyone to know ive posted this.So im relatively young in my early teen years and my sister is 2 years younger than me. We have strict indian parents. Both me and my sister are in the same school and im in grade 9 and she is in 7.My sister is alwais spoilt and has my parents do things for her so she isn't really independent. My parents believe that since she is younger I must be a good older brother( which i think im a sort of.)Anyway, me and my sister go to the same school and we both usualy walk together and so i have to leave my friends and walk to the car(my dad picks us up) So 2 weeks ago my sister wanted to walk with her friends so i walked with mine. I usualy get out of school early because i walk fast and have to wait around 5mins before she joins me. By that time my friends cant wait because they have to get home early aswell so we say bye to eachother and thats it. Since I didn't have to wait for her i walked with my friends to the car and when my dad found out i was alone and not with my sister, he was furious. We had an arguement and we both didn't speak to eachother for a day or so then we forgave eachother. Yesterday ,I waited for my sister and turns out she went to walk with her friends up to the car and i was stuck waiting there for 15 mins until i assumed she did so and walked to the car. Yesterday it was alright , no arguement , nothing.My dad just told me that i dont have to pick my sister up and she can walk by herself.( note this is a    100-150m walk and that its all on the sidewalk and she just needs to cross the road with stops in it to slow down cars and allow children to walk through.)Today, i didnt walk with her and went straight to the car with my friends and my dad wasnt there. Turns out he went to pick up my sister himself and found her crying because i didnt pick her up. My sister acts wierd with my parents sort of like a baby in front of them to get attention. Do note that before we moved houses I used to go alone 2 miles by changing buses when i was her exact age and she cant walk 200m.Now they are furious and they want me to change schools because i choose 'friends over family'.I feel bad that this happened and just want to go back in time a day and fix all of this. So AITA?",AITA for not picking up my sister?,NTA
10x6vke,"I (20F) am currently engaged to my fiancé (21M) of 3 years. We hope to get married in 2024. I have 2 childhood friends: Emi and Vera from 6th grade that I consider my closest even if we don’t talk to see each other a lot. And I would like my two friends to be there at my small wedding.One friend in particular, Emi sometimes has flakiness or time management issues. We worked at the same fast food job in high school and she’d show up late or leave early, so I always knew she had issues with punctuality. I sat Emi down over coffee that took a while to plan. Told her my fiancé proposed, and we wanted to have a small wedding with her and other fried. I then told her I’d like her there, but expressed my concern if she could make it or not because its a big commitment to be a bridesmaid to. I feel it wouldn’t be fair to the other friend if I had to constantly move plans because of her time management.Emi tells me I can count on her and pleads to give her a chance. I say ok so I arrange a brunch for me, her, and our second friend. I texted her 2 days prior giving information, and the day before I confirmed and called and left messages so she for sure would not miss seeing it.Emi doesn’t show up and I get disappointed in myself for believing things changed. Me and Vera enjoy brunch and planning things and catching up. I scroll on Facebook and see her tagged by her boyfriend where she went to get coffee with her boyfriend an hour after we planned to meet up.I get a crappy excuse apology text saying she’s sorry, but she got sick and couldn’t come, and just woke up to see the text. You just “woke up” at 2 pm yet you seem fine to get coffee? I tell her to forget it and she gets mad upset saying I can’t just disinvite her like that and we should reschedule, we’re bullying her by excluding her. I mentioned that maybe her boyfriend shouldn’t post pictures of her if she’s sick otherwise I would’ve believed it.At this point me and Vera are close to cutting ties because she had the option to not come, but instead lied. We are each others only friends so I’d feel bad leaving her friendless. I don’t want to imagine what my wedding day will be like if she can’t even make it to a brunch. She’s going in all different moods trying to make amends and saying to replan things. I can’t replan a wedding for her when she decides not to come. But I feel this would burn bridges which I find myself ok with.WIBTA if I don’t invite my childhood friend to my wedding?Edit: When I said me and my fiancé wanted our wedding to be small we were picturing less than 20 people because we aren’t close with a lot of people, and also prefer it to be small and memorable. I’m worried if she comes and doesn’t show up we also lose our money that could’ve gone to something elseSo some places I called like the catering and nail or hair salon charge per person:I was looking into a Japanese catering service and they told me they would charge us $75 per person for food and drinks. If said friend doesn’t come we lose $75 worth of food and drinks we had to pay for. Wedding salon package needs a minimum of 6 people (Originally planned for me, Emi, Vera, my sister who would be my maid of honor, mom, and aunt) if Emi doesn’t come we’re losing out the cost of the hundreds of dollars of salon service that could’ve gone to somebody else.So I’d really like to know if she would be honest if she knows she can’t or won’t come so I can make definite plans that won’t be affected negatively if she doesn’t show up. I’m not very rich that I can just casually blow off a couple hundreds if I can prevent it.",WIBTA if I don’t invite a childhood friend to my wedding?,NTA
10wel7n,"I’m estranged from my parents & 6 siblings. I’ve only spoken w/ a few of them rarely in recent yrs. I’ve struggled to let go as I loved them so much. My attempts to reconcile were unsuccessful. They don't care enough to rectify the situation.My story is about more than $. It’s about integrity, respect, family, & love lost. It began when my brother (a self-proclaimed venture capitalist w/ narcissistic tendencies) defrauded me out of $170K from one investment & tried to steal my $ from another. My parents refused to acknowledge it.Rather than remain neutral & despite evidence of a crime, my father shielded & sided w/ my brother, who’s been unconsciously favored due to his charm & Brad Pitt good looks. They gaslit & blamed me. It was torturous. My other siblings were silent & wouldn't help. My mother plead ignorance yet sided w/ my dad.I kept loving them all while remaining kind, fun, generous, & helpful. I gave my brother every opportunity to make it right, but he didn’t despite earning millions. I need my $ after leaving a successful career in high tech to do unglamorous work helping the environment which is rewarding but pays very little.I never invested w/ him again. I waited for resolution that never came. I finally sued my brother, & he had to pay. It was miserable, but I couldn’t ignore it. My dad told me I was ""wacko” & have a defective personality for being upset. My brother & father disparaged me. My brother got mad at one sister for spending time w/ me. After I heavily criticized them, most of my siblings cut me off without sympathy.My father then decided to cheat me out of the returns ($100K) from my old investment in the biotech company he founded which finally went public. He refuses to pay despite the stock purchase agreement we signed. He ignored my verbal & email requests.My dad said it’s not my $ and he doesn't have to pay me if we don't have a relationship. I was attacked when I threatened to sue which I didn’t want to do. I do want justice, honesty & accountability but not revenge. Truth is more important than $.I kept hoping my family is capable of making mea culpas, but they’re not. One could argue it’s not their fault. It’s their wiring. But they still deny reality.My father has done many good but some bad things in life (affairs, my investments). In this case, he refuses to behave w/ integrity, own his mistakes, be honest, & apologize. If he did, reconciliation is possible.My beloved nephew, a navy pilot, got married last summer. He’s amazing, & I love him dearly. I felt uncomfortable attending his wedding w/ my entire family due to unresolved financial & emotional abuse & neglect.It broke my heart further not to attend his wedding. I have not & will never treat my nieces & nephews differently. They’re precious & innocent, & I love them unconditionally.Today, I received my parents' belated X-Mas card. It’s a photo of my family next to my nephew & his bride at the wedding. My mother Photoshopped me into the card without telling me. It’s important to her to always appear like a perfect family. We are not, & she’s in denial.Normally I wouldn't care, but I haven't visited w/ my parents in 5 yrs. I believe my mother still loves me but not enough. She cares more about family image than my feelings.She knows I can't bear to talk w/ my dad until he’s given me my funds. So, being part of her perfect family façade is painful since she wouldn't help & has hurt me further.Upset, I called & told my mother it crossed the line. She said, ""It's my card. I can put you in it if I want.” My sister texted, “She doesn’t need your permission.”**Am I the asshole for getting upset w/ my mother?**",AITA for Getting Upset with My Estranged Mother for Photoshopping Me Into Her Christmas Card?,NTA
10x6ftb,"AITA for calling my step mom after 20 years? I had tried to keep in contact after she and my mother split. (It was a bitter break up for her I guess. Though she’d been the abusive one, physically, mentally. To both me as a child and my mother.) She moved, I had her address only and sent letters, called her parents once or twice left messages, sent gifts, invited her to my wedding, sent her a birth announcement for my child, photos and never at any point did I get a response back I really didn’t expect one. But at least the option was there for her.Despite the abuse and abandonment I forgave the woman. She raised me for 18 years and is as much a mother to me as my birth mother. After so many years I finally called her. She at 80 seemed a bit lost for a moment, she didn’t even remember who I was. I admit in thinking I was dealing with someone who’s mind had gone. But remember she did, and she said that she was sick(heart condition) that she’d like if I could contact her more often so I did. She doesn’t have Long Distance or internet, so I had to be the one to call, and that was fine. After a few exchanges over the next few weeks. She convinced me to come for a visit, I was to bring my family and she wouldn’t take no for an answer. With the support of my family, my therapist, and a chance to forgive and move forward I agreed.The visit went great, we caught up. She told me we’d do it again and that she wanted to stay in touch. I felt closure and happy, forgiveness is a wonderful thing that lifts a heavy weight off of your heart. I called her over the next couple weeks, staying in touch. She seemed thrilled to talk with me, so I mentioned how she’d always been a mother to me and always would be. I guess that was presumptuous. It was a couple days later she calls me saying. “I talked to my lawyer about claiming you and he said because of my age I can’t. I’m sorry so we’ll just have to stay friends.” I tried to reassure her during the call that she’d be family to me no matter what. I thanked her for her attempt but that it was unnecessary and what would a lawyer be needed for I didn’t want her property or anything and we said goodbye.I processed this call over the next few hours and got worried, I called her back. She didn’t answer, I left a message saying I’d try back later and that I was worried. Each time I called I got more worried. The next morning I called for a welfare check. The officer called me back saying she was fine and that I shouldn’t call anymore. AITA?",AITA for calling my stepmom,NTA
10x9nw7,"I know usually hardcore things are posted in this subreddit but. Me and my best friend met each other 4 years ago and have been talking every day since then. We always made plans and if one couldn't make it, we would inform each other.  few weeks ago my friend stopped replying on the day we made plans. I thought something happened and I was really worried until I asked a mutual friend which she told me he has been texting her all this time. I was really upset after that so I gave him the cold shoulder for weeks even though he has tried to apologise, around that time was really tough for me as I lost my most precious friends and he was the only close one left. And I didn't want to get hurt again chasing him.  I felt really bad after that and in order to apologize properly I asked our mutual friend for help. She told me that he didn't give a fuck about me anymore, he was much happier and she was so shocked that he replaced me with her. I was confused but decided to ask him instead of jumping to conclusions. He said those weren't true and he still thought of me as a close friend. We talked a lot after those few days but it didn't feel the same as the old times. It felt forced. A little after that he told me he broke his relationship with her because of how she treated me and how she was treating him. Obviously that ended being a lie as I just saw them lying in each others laps. He never talks to me unless I start the conversation and even that is the bare minimum. aita for ignoring him and his apologies when the problem first rose and possibly ruining our relationship? And what should i do after this?",AITA for ignoring my best friend for weeks?,ESH
10wugfa,"My boyfriend (21M) is on the verge of a video game addiction, if he doesn’t have one already. He plays video games from around 5pm-6am almost every single day- honestly I (21F) can’t remember the last time he went one day without playing.He’s usually very sweet to me, but whenever he plays games, he pretty much ignores me the entire time. He sits there and doesn’t move at all and just talks to his friends. I feel alone and isolated, and our love just doesn’t feel genuine anymore. We’ve been together for 5 years and our sex life is very very boring now. By the time he’s off his game I’m either sleeping or just pissed off.To combat this, I’ve tried talking about it to him, but he just doesn’t want to hear it. He tells me we “spend every day together” just because we live together, and he gets mad at me when I speak to him during his games. I gave up trying to tell him my feelings towards it because he’s very defensive and doesn’t seem to care really about what I’m saying. He’s going to do it regardless. He hasn’t had a job in months, but is going to school currently. On the other hand, he is moved far away from home and he doesn’t have any friends here, but when he plays video games he gets a chance to connect with his friends back home. He had depression really badly the past couple years, and video games were his outlet for that. I don’t want to be an asshole and tell him to get off because he’s been playing too long because I do somewhat understand that it’s a stress reliever. But I do get quite angry with him after it’s been 12+ hours and he hasn’t moved from his spot.",AITA for interrupting my boyfriend while he plays video games?,NTA
10x9jr4,"I (18M) am in a co-leadership role in a club at my school with four other members, recently they have been criticizing me for not showing up as often as they'd like me to, Initially I apologized for my absence and said I would try to show up more often. The issue came when I explained to them why I wasn't really showing up, ever since the first day of the club all the other ""leaders"" had a job in the club except me, I figured if I waited long enough they'd finally let me do something to help run the club but that day never came, It didn't take long for me to forget to go from time to time, and the times i did go I did nothing the entire time despite me trying to offer to help, and this trend has gone on the entire year. I suggested to the other leaders that It would help my memory if I actually had something to do, which they responded with more hostile messages to make a long argument short, it became a back and forth between them saying I wasn't reliable enough to get a job due to my absence, and me saying I wasnt ""reliable"" because I had nothing to do in the first place, and didn't see a purpose in going, while also making me forget I was even part of that club.   Towards the end they tried to say ""well since you signed up you basically said you where committed to the club, so you need to show up or else you wont have any role in the club"" this made me more pissed and I have since told them that the conversation will continue later as I had gotten busy. Now I'm here, pissed that despite my suggestions to help both me and them out and me explaining to them why I wasn't showing up in the first place, im being met with hostility and threats of being kicked out. AITA",AITA for being argumentative with fellow club leaders when they criticize for not showing up often.,YTA
10wwpvv,"My wife seems to think it's ok to talk about ex boyfriends and even asked me if she was the ahole because someone who liked her was turned down because their parents were dating. So I'm asking if you think she's the ahole for continually bringing up former flames, and even wants my am I the ahole comments on past situations. I mean I could be the ahole because I don't want to talk to my wife about former lovers or flames that she has had. Her argument was that she just asked a question. I could have just answered it. I guess, just tired of ex lovers and flames being on the talking table.",AITA when I don't want to talk about ex's and past flames,NTA
10x615h,"So, I just need to understand Am I the AH here. I know I’ m for first part. But the second? So I have (had) a very close friend - like realy close. I asked her if she and her familiy if wanted to celebrate NY together in November. She said (Lets call her Jess) - of course. We have a history of me changing plans last minute and I know it bothers her a lot. Somewhere in december I invited to NY celebration another friend (Lets call her Carol) and her husband. They also are friends with Jess. I forgot to tell her I invited them - I know stupid, but december is a hell for me with kids. So few days prior in common chat with them I started asking about food preferences with Jess and Carol. Carol was responding, Jess was not. She wrote she will not attend - no explanation. I spent a day thinking what’s wrong, she blocked me on chat. I realized I did not share I had invited Carol. I called her to aplogize. She did not pick up. I profoundly aplogized in message and said that yes, I should have informed her prior. She said - it’s not Carol, as they are friends, but me being disrecpectful and not informing her. I aplogized again and said I understand she does not want to come and I oversteped boundaries by not informing her. I understand why she’s angry and I’m really sorry as it really slipped my mind but that’s not excuse. So we had NY without Jess. It’s been more than a month and she ignores my every attempt to reach out. And it hurts as she was really my good friend. I tried to apologize many times and said I do understand her. But I do feel that the ignorance is not worth the crime. I know I’m the AH for not checking prior but I’m really hurting as it seems due to this she has cut me off. As for before that - we had some disagreements but overall we shared messages each day. I really loved her and time with her. So I guess I’m asking if me being AH for not checking with her prior inviting other guests makes me AH to cut all contact? And yes, intially I indicated we would be only 2 families - me and Jesse’s. She’s good friend with Carol - and they meet sometimes seperately. Even after NY. So it’s not dislaike for her or her husband. Carols and Jeses husbands are friends.",AITA for mistake from my side regarding NY,YTA
10x8tqc,"I (M26) have 2 very close friends (both M24) who basically grow up together and went to the same school until halfway to college. We'll call them B1 and B2. All of us were expats but they were living with their families and I was living solo. Due to this, I used to getting invited to each of their family's occasions, holidays etc. So I became a family friend to both of them. Recently they have a falling out. B1 discovered that B2 was making moves on his GF (yeah this is really a shitty thing that B2 did). When I talked to B2 about it, he was aware about the consequences of his actions and he knew that he would risk destroying his friendship with B1. B1 wanted to cut-off B2 which I totally understand. B1 also told me that his beef is only with B2 and I should not be involved in it. If I still want to be friends with B2 , it's ok with him. He also wants to keep it a secret and asked me not to tell anyone including their parents and friends in our circle.I usually hang out with B1 as we live in the same area. However, every time I hang out with B2, B1 would usually send me passive-aggressive messages (ex. send me pictures of a snake, telling me take care you're with a snake). I just laugh it off and brush it off as a joke. It is also now hard to arrange hanging-out with our other friends who are still clueless as I don't want either of them to be left out. Until recently when I hang-out with B2, B1 would ignore me. When I try to talk to him, he would give responses like go hang-out with your snake friend. Yeah I know he's Angry and has every right to be.I just don't know where to place myself because I can't simply cut-off B2 also. I feel like I'd be the asshole if my friendship with B1 implodes because I chose to still become friends with a ""Snake""",WIBTA If my friendship implodes because I'm still hanging out with a friend who cheated another friend?,YTA
10wx7pd,"So I (F19) dropped out of university last year and I’ve been living at home since. I was working full time but now I do part-time 9 am-2 pm shifts so I can do the school run for my parent.  I don’t pay rent, I just do the weekly shopping.

About two weeks ago I sustained a large first-degree burn on the back of my hand. I didn’t want to bother my parents, because it was late. Yet after a few hours of attempting first aid, I realised I needed to go to A&E. Surprisingly my mum was still awake, so I told her I’d get an Uber to the hospital and she said no, she’d drop me there instead. I was grateful, of course. 

Currently, my hand is healing and no longer extremely painful but is still an open wound. At home I usually do chores, meal prep and housework, however, due to my injury, I haven’t been able to do a lot of that or go to work, and my mum is evidently not happy about it. She’s been upset because I’ve been sleeping in until 7.30 instead of waking up at 6.30 to pray in the morning before my dad leaves for work…at 7.30. She hasn’t been talking to me and tries to ignore me when I speak to her. I’m pretty used to it, so I don’t pay attention. Yesterday, she broke the silence by saying that she was heading out. She didn’t say where, but since it was around 11am I knew she wasn’t going into her office.  

This was on a Tuesday, and for the past 6 months (excluding the Tuesday before last), I always volunteer as a mentor in schools every week. It’s also the only time  I actually ‘go out’ aside from work. I enjoy working with the kids, and my mum enjoys reinforcing the idea that I shouldn’t waste my time there. 

Because of the timing of the sessions, my mum picks up my sister from school on Tuesdays. Yesterday though, I received a voicemail from my sister's school saying that my sister was still at school waiting to be picked up… it was 4.45 (she finished club at 4). I had a piercing appointment but had to cancel and head to the school because I couldn’t get ahold of my mum, or the school. It would take me a good hour to get there. After 40 minutes my mum called to ask me what I wanted and cut the call when I answered. She then asked me where I was and once again… cut the call. After a 30-minute walk to school, uncertain of wtf my mum was doing, I found she had picked up my sister about 20 minutes ago, meaning that she had been at home the whole time. I was livid. 

To make it worse, she was in a mood when I got home and actually on the phone with her friend villainising me for the whole ordeal. I stayed in my room the whole evening because I didn’t want to make a bad situation worse with my words. 

I was trying to be the bigger person, so again, after calming down, I tried to break the ice this morning. But my mum took it as an apology...and didn't accept it. 

I understand that I probably should have reminded her that I was volunteering, but AITA for basically just avoiding her currently and keeping my words minimal?",AITA for avoiding my mum,NAH
10x8mce,"First of all, some background:Im part of  a small group of friends , which are both couples who have been together for years now. In the last 2 years i ended a relationship  that made me go on my own for a bit since i didn't want to be the fifth alone, and I ended up finding a new girlfriend, the new relationship is still fresh and we want to spend a bit more time together we ended up making plan for a weekend out for the week of valentines day. Now today 1 week before one of the girl made a group reminding us that since the other couples have plans for saturday his boyfriends(wich is one of my best friends) we will celebrate his birthday on sunday (just a simple dinner)... i will not lie life got really busy latelly, and  i totally forgot of his birthday, but no one made plan before hand this is all news of today.  After thinking about it for a bit, i excused myself and my girlfriend and told everybody that we couldn't attend since we already booked our trip. The friends girlfriend said in a sarcastic way ""you remember your friends brithday i see, we will remember when yours come"", wich all seems to have forgotten last year. My girlfriend told me no one made a group to discuss it and she was unsure if this is how we used to do, i told her we usually do so she ended up doing it for me. Back to the sory the other girl in the group just said "" write our birthdays down you are being rude not showing up"" mind she asked me last year  to delay my summer trip to attend his birthday(wich i did not).Now i asked the other male friends if im beign so unrational. And he told me: ""yes you should have remembered and made the trip at a later day wich i still suggest you do but in the end im not the one who will get his birthday without you so not my problem"" .Now i have yet to respond in the group and can't contact the other male friend to apologize or make other plans together, since this new plan for his birthday has not yet been revealed to him.So reddit... AITA here?P.s: im not a native speaker i checked as best i can the grammar. i apologize in advance if i made some mistakes",AITA for waiting to not wanting to delay my trip after forgetting my friends birthday,NTA
10wv0xd,My niece turned 15 yesterday and as her birthday gift she wanted to give away all her old clothes to someone who needs them and buy new ones. Her taste in clothes has changed a lot in the past year and there is almost nothing in her closet that she likes anymore.She approached me a few days ago and asked me if I would go shopping with her and help her buy new clothes.My ex sil lives in another city and I know she was looking forward to coming here for her birthday and do the shopping with her so I told her maybe she should do it with her mom. She said she doesn't like her mom's taste in clothes and would rather I go with her. So we went shopping and we had a great time.Her mom arrived yesterday and she was extremely angry when she found out we went shopping without her. She called me an asshole for agreeing to this when I knew she wanted to do it. She also kept making snarky comments to me about us looking like twins(my niece chose clothes that are similar to my style) and even made some rude comments that because I can't have any kids I'm trying to play mom for her daughter. My brother ended up asking her to leave,AITA for going shopping with my niece?,NTA
10wwrh6,"AITA for hanging up his clothesSo myself, my husband and our 2 kids just recently moved. However, the place we moved to is smaller than our last home, and thus we lost storage space (this provides context). Today, I hung up my husband’s clothes in his closet. When he came home from work I showed him. His response was that he was going to take everything off the hangers and put it in a pile on the floor in the closet because thats how he likes it. (Now one would think he’s being sarcastic or joking. No this is how he kept his clothes in our last place, and we shared a closet and it was a massive mess.) I explain that I’m trying to keep this house neat, and set a good example for our kids, and that we need the storage in the bottom of the closet. His reply is that it is his stuff and he will keep it however he wants. I get that, and I normally leave his messes alone. I re-explain the storage issue and you know tidiness. His solution is to now find away to hang large Rubbermaid bins full of things from closet rods. I told him absolutely not; the main reason being we rent and if he breaks the rod we’re liable. AITA for hanging up my husband’s clothes?Edit: The pile he wants is just one massive pile of his laundry unfolded in the bottom of the closet. I’m not asking him to fold his laundry or hang it. I offered to do it, all I’m asking is for him to let it be so we can use the bottom of his closest for storage. We are also using the bottom of my closet for storage, so I’m not asking anything of him that I’m not doing to my own closet.",AITA for hanging up my husband’s clothes,NTA
10x875p,"Last year I (14f) was in a friend group with a few other girls in my class. I'm not sure what you would call them (stereotypical mean girls?), but they talked bad about everyone and practically bullied me out of the group. They dislike basically everyone outside their small circle. Anyway. There's this one girl who we were friends with (lets call her Alex): she's neurodivergent and doesn't exactly act like everyone else does (for obvious reasons) and she has other personal problems that I don't want to get into. She was really good friends with us, and had been friends with some of the others since primary school. But then the other girls started talking about her: how she was faking having certain problems for attention, how annoying she was, how she was so weird etcetc. They even went as far as to tell other people (who she had not given permission for them to tell) about her mental health problems. I myself am neurodivergent and the things we like are very similar, so I felt really bad being around these people that laughed at my friend for all the things I did. I'm sorry to admit that I joined in on these conversations, just to fit in with them and finally be ""normal"" for once. But then in January, Alex and me were talking and the other girls came up in conversation. By this point i had since left the group and was friends with other people. I made the decision to tell Alex about what they had said (she was still friends with them and had no idea what they were saying about her behind her back). She got really upset and started crying, which was fair enough. Alex went on to tell our teacher and the teacher got really mad at the other girls, and they got in a lot of trouble. I still talk to the other girls, and one of them is my really close friend (she's also left the group because she felt it was toxic) and I feel really bad that I got her in trouble. This probably sounds stupid, but I can't stop thinking about it.AITA?",AITA for telling my friend our other friends hate her?,YTA
10x443v,"I (16f) am a song leader in my church. I am accompanied by a piano and a pianist (17m). For reference, we sing old hymns. This last Sunday, I sent my pianist 3 songs like usual after service. ( an opening, an offertory hymn, and an invitation ). He said we do the opening song way too much. ( I don't ever sing it, but the other girl who leads does. However, I'm hardly ever in there for her songs, and I'm typically doing other jobs during songs if I'm not leading.) I said ok and changed to a different peppy song. He then sent me the page numbers correcting the new song number in. How he had changed the invitation. I corrected thinking he just made a mistake. He instead told me that we WE ARE  going to do the songs he picked out because we sing Amazing Grace too much ( I looked through old programs, and it's been at least 2 months). I told him no, we weren't doing the song he had picked out. He called me a control freak and got pretty mean and told me it should be a compromise. I told him that if he was unable to play Amazing Grace, then we could do a different song instead. The thing is, picking out the songs isn't his job it's mine. The only reason he should ever be REQUESTING to change a song is if he can't play it because it is above his skill level. Even then, he is supposed to tell me this, and then I pick a new song. He gets PAID! I don't I do this as a volunteer. It is literally his job to play the songs I tell him to play. He has been told multiple times that it isn't his job to pick out songs by the pastor. He also had no idea what kind of songs go where if it's easy to play. That's all that matters to not if it actually is appropriate for that time in the service. Anytime I've added in new songs, he complains that he is far too busy to learn a new songs ( keep in mind I have to learn it then teach it to others). I dont think this is a place to compromise at his PAID job. I have studied music theory and have competed in choir competitions all over the state. I am fully qualified to pick out songs on my own and sing them. He has played the piano for 8 years, and he should be able to play Amazing Grace.AITA?Edit : more information in the comments",AITA for not letting my pianist change songs?,NTA
10wun06,"for context, my best friend is my mate who i’ve been friends with for more than 8 years now, since high school, so we’re tight and we are really good together. my GF (who i’ve known and been together for just over a year now) is extremely upset at him because of some issues while they were at work (they work at the same retail shop, but I do not).it has been mentioned to me that admittedly they don’t see each other much at work because my friend works in the morning and my GF works in the evenings, and so are lucky to get the same Saturday morning times. apparently, something had happened at work, where my GF asked my friend to quickly tie her shoes while in control of self serve checkouts (she cannot tie her shoes properly, not because she was too busy). my friend had told me that he got very conscious about stopping what he was doing to go and tie her shoes in the middle of a busy shop with a lot of eyes. so he kind of panicked and walked away. this, along with some other issues i’ve heard from my GF that my friend had been ignoring her at work when she wants to talk, to which my friend told me that he would not talk so he can’t get told off by the manager on shift (their manager is a nightmare and all but kicked me, a customer, out of the shop while dropping my GF at work and stopping to talk to my friend). so my friend and I had recently signed up to the gym and go there once a week together. my GF was upset when I told her and said I shouldn’t be going with him because it’s disrespectful to her, and that I should be supporting and defending her in this situation. I said that their beef had nothing to do with me, and asked if she had talked to him about this. she told me she hadn’t and wouldn’t talk to him about it for whatever reason. I talked to my friend and he said he’s got no problem with her and, like me, doesn’t really understand what the big deal is. to me, I don’t understand why I can’t hang out with my friend while my GF is upset at him, regardless of whether or not she wants to try and fix the issue. I don’t know why I’m being placed in the middle of this (by my GF), it has nothing to do with me. I don’t know why i’m being forced to mediate this and having to justify hanging out with my friend. am I being disrespectful to my GF by doing this, I understand how she can be upset at her situation but I don’t see how it has to affect me?Edit: with the issue of the shoe tying, she can tie shoes, sometimes. when sitting on her bed at home she can after maybe one failed attempt, but is otherwise competent enough. I can only assume that in this situation it was either; she had some anxiety about not being able to tie her shoes while in the middle of a busy shop and having to help others at the same time, or that she just wanted my friend to quickly tie them because she was busy and he dashed off. isn’t down to issues with ability, just a lack of practice.",AITA for going to the gym and hanging out with my Best Friend while my GF is mad at him?,NTA
10x2gr8,"I (27f) am originally from the United States, but I live abroad. My younger brother is graduating from college in May and graduations are really important in my family. My entire extended family is going for it and I might even be bringing my boyfriend back to meet everyone, however none of the plans are set in stone yet.A good friend of mine who lives in my current city wants to take a little trip (potentially to a different country) for her 27th birthday. She got really upset when I told her my planned dates for my trip home, as it would overlap with something she might want to do. She discussed doing something for her birthday, which I was initially excited about, but didn't know the dates yet, just that it was in early May. I ideally would fly the day after her birthday (which is a Friday), so if she hosted something that evening I could go. However, I have no expectation of her adapting her plans to suit this.My family is driving up for my brothers graduation in the middle of the week, which would mean I would need to fly back from her birthday trip (Sunday) and then fly intercontinentally again within a couple days. This would require me to take off work, rather than working remotely during the week and would also give my boyfriend very little time to interact with my immediate family before he had to meet everyone, which I fear could be overwhelming.I want to be there for my friends birthday and am happy to have a night with her where we live before I go, but I really don't want to take a trip given the extremely quick turn around between that and flying home. She says 27 is a big deal, which I don't really understand, but I know birthdays are very important for her and I do care about our friendship a lot. I know not attending would hurt her, but I fear that going on a trip would affect my boyfriends comfort level with my family, put me behind in my work, and make me less present for my brother.I need to book my trip soon as prices for flights will only continue going up, which will likely need to happen before she has confirmed what she wants to do.I feel like I might be the asshole because I technically could go to both events and I acted excited about her  potential birthday plans, but might not be able to follow through. WIBTA for telling her I can't go abroad for her birthday and how would I go about this.",WIBTA if I didn't attend my friends birthday?,YWNBTA
10xmgwj,I (22m) was invited by my friends to go to Europe but I refused because I’m too old and I wish I was younger to get to experience traveling out of the country. I’ll never have that experience of backpacking through Europe at 16 and that must be so fun and cool. Now I’m too old and I  wouldn’t even be a young traveler. I don’t Have any experiences of me traveling and making memories at 16 and I hate myself for that. My parents really want me to go but I said no even though going to Europe is my dream.TLDR; my friend invited me out of the country but I feel rude rejecting them cause I’m too old,AITA for refusing to travel with my friends?,YTA
10wu4mh,"Names changed for obvious reasons. Jenna is my (35f) best friend and went through a divorce a couple of years ago. She struggles to be on her own and has had a string of short-lived partners since who she meets online and they often come with drama and baggage. My husband (35m) and I always support her through this and have always been there for her when she needs us. She’s been single for a little while and we’ve always said we want to go away together for a fun break. So we’ve booked an expensive 2 week holiday with my husband coming along too (they are also good friends and we do most things together as a trio). Last week, Jenna met a new man online and immediately became infatuated with him. Without discussing with us, she’s invited him on our holiday and he’s already booked his leave for this. The holiday isn’t until next year so there may be a chance that he’s not around then anyway. But there’s no way we want to go away with someone we don’t know. The 3 of us would have shared a room, meaning the cost was more manageable, but now with 2 rooms it’s more expensive. We don’t have much money or time off together, and this holiday is likely to be our last before we start trying for a baby. The last thing we want to do is spend it with a randomer who won’t be in our lives in a few months time. We want to tell Jenna that we want to cancel, but I know she will react badly. I love her but she can be quite narcissistic and I don’t feel she will understand our perspective. I may well lose her as a friend over this but I’m angry we’ve been put in this situation. Don’t get me wrong, I can see her perspective. She doesn’t want to be the third wheel. I also think she feels if she has things planned with this new man it’s more likely to last. She expects us to make an effort to get to know her boyfriend (fair enough) and thinks this should be enough to be happy going away with him. For context, she is also very well-off and works part-time. She holidays about 6 times a year so she doesn’t really see the holiday with the same significance as we do. Should we suck it up and go on this holiday? Should I tell her the truth and risk our friendship? Should we tell her we now can’t afford the holiday to save her feelings?",WIBTA if I cancelled a holiday with my friend because she wants to invite her new boyfriend?,NTA
10wv0pu,"Long story short, my wife’s parents immigrated here from another country and most of her extended family still lives in said country- I haven’t met most of them yet. We are planning to visit this country and she was telling me about her relatives there. I asked if she had any living grandparents to which she nervous laughed and said that if she did have any, I would probably know about it. She went silent and about five minutes later, said that she found it super concerning that she has spoken many times about how her grandparents on both sides have passed… and that I would not remember and still ask her this question. That she’s extremely alarmed that I haven’t listened to anything shes shared about herself over the years. It know was completely dumb of me but it was also an innocent question. I hate that it’s making her paranoid that I don’t care about her background but I also feel scolded. So, AITA?",AITA for asking my wife of two years if she has any living grandparents (forgot that she doesn’t)?,YTA
10xbs37,"Hello everyone. A little background info: me (23F) and my partner (22M) have been together for over 4 years, living together for over 3. We have never had any serious issues regarding our household chores, I do more cleaning etc., because I'm still a student (with part time job, therefore lower income) and he's working as well as being an entrepreneur. He is an amazing cook and when we eat together, he is usually the one who cooks. This arrangement has always worked for us.Today, he sent me a TikTok with a lady saying bunch of feminist stuff (a woman in a relationship is not the man's mother and shouldn't have to clean up after him, they aren't maids, etc., he normally agrees that women should have equal rights in everything). He asked me whether I agree with one of the statements: Women don't have to cook, they don't have to enjoy it, and they don't even have to be able to cook. I said I agreed; when a single woman chooses not to bother with cooking and wants to eat out all the time I don't see how it's anyone else's business. My personal opinion isn't connected to this, I frequently cook/meal prep for myself when he's at work and eats there, or I cook both of us if needed.For some reason, when I said I agreed, he became extremely angry and said ""We don't have anything to talk about together"" (sounds a bit different in my language). He's still pissed three hours later and I have no idea why this is such a big deal, he just said ""Everyone, men as well as women, should be able to cook"". I just don't get why he's so offended, am I missing something? I feel like his reaction is irrational and I'm not used to this, normally we are able to talk through anything that bothers either of us. I don't feel like I'm in the wrong but I guess I might be based on his reaction.So, was I TA for agreeing with the statement?",AITA for telling my boyfriend women don't have to be able to cook if they don't want to?,NTA
10wtti9,"I (23f) have a coworker (27f) from a foreign country. We have been working together for 3 months. We are not friends as she doesnt mix with everyone only a select few. Which is fine, she is not pressured. However the everyone else is a part of a bigger friend group. All of whom hang out often and go on outings, whether it be parties, road trips or just casual hangs ( we are from the caribbean so the culture is very friendly and people oriented) The company has an outing this weekend. Which she was refusing to attend with reasons like she has no clothing, the bus ride will be too long, she doesn't wanna go on a boat, what will she do when the reaches the island, she doesn't like the people in attendance,she doesnt wanna hike etc.I had offered to take her to buy clothing as I drive and can find things that are cheap as it's my home country.  But she refuses saying she hasn't made up her mind.  So we dropped the issue stating she has to make up her mind if shes coming and stop going in circles. But the problem is every two hours she approaches me asking if I'm going on the trip. Admittedly I was already annoyed so I responded with ""for the 50th time yes I am. Please stop asking me. Are you going"" to which she responded that she doesn't know. Saying her problem was that if she schedules a pick up from the company vehicles she will be there at 6( we leave at 7) and she doesn't want to sit and wait for one hour. At this point we already told her if she doesn't want to use the company vehicles, she can use a local taxi, or ask one of the dozen managers from her staff house for a ride. All of the options which she refuse. She asked if I can pick her up. My response was ""No. I'm not going to pick you up. You're not going to jump in my car when it's convenient for you and out of my way for me"". I said this for a few reasons:1. In the first month of her being here and constant complaining I have offered to give her rides many many times to places she was having a hard time finding or for things she needed but she always refuses saying she doesn't want a ride from me. She rather go with the company vehicle. Which is fine. I mean we just met and the country is foreign to her. But she would constantly approach me and complain instead of trying to help herself. We have tried to include her in the bigger group of activities but she always refuses (which again is fine) but you can't expect us to now go out of our way to help.2. Her approach to life irritates me. Her permanent mode is complaining and not looking for solutions. She expects  everyone else to offer a solution. Which she then turns down and continues complaining. Anyways, after I said no she got upset (because apparently she has no other options) and now the rest of coworkers are saying I'm an asshole.AITA?",AITA for refusing to pick up a coworker,NTA
10x4rxi,"I  have a housemate who sleeps below our kitchen and common area.  I used  to sleep until midday because my work lets me set my own hours and I  generally need some alone time either at night or in early morning.  To  this end I've recently switched to a 6am start.  My housemate, who gets  up a little later than this (7:30am-8:30am) says the noise disturbs his  sleep, and blamed me for him needing to work from home yesterday,  despite originally intending to get up at 7:30ish and go into the  physical office; he needed more of a lie in after my  new morning routine woke him up.Our  floorboards act as amplifiers, to the point where laptop keystrokes are audible in the room below.  So even though my routine is reasonably  quiet in the room above (preparing breakfast, opening and closing the  fridge, walking between the hob and the table, etc.), I can understand  that the sound is amplified from the perspective of the room below.I'm  two days into this new routine and my housemate messaged me this  morning to complain about the stomping and loud noises.  He said that  this occurrence couldn't keep happening.I  brought up the amplifying effect of our floorboards, and that I was  just going about a regular morning routine, trying to be as quiet  as possible.  I have a history of being a bit of a pushover in  flat-shares, so I was compelled this time to stand my ground and avoid  conceding to being excessively loud.  I suggested earplugs, which I  myself wear each night, and said that 6am was daytime and the common  area should be good to go in daytime.  He took offense to the earplugs  suggestion.  I also offered to swap him my upstairs room for his  downstairs one, since mine doesn't experience the same amplified noises  from the common area.I have  flexible work, but I tried a 11am-12pm start for a year and it really  messed with my MH.  I feel like I need to stagger my day a few hours  with my housemates, since they work from home and hang out at home in  the evening.  Therefore, morning or nighttime is my ""alone time"" in  the spacious common area.  This also applies for office-life.  I'm in  an open plan office, so an hour or two at the start of the day or the  end of the day lets me spend less time in work overall.  But the reasons  are beside the point.  We've had no problems before now, because I was  getting up midway through my housemate's first shift.After  I rebuffed his complaint this morning, we had a bit of a  back-and-forward, which didn't really progress much.  I said I'd  continue getting up at 6am and that I was already trying to be as quiet  as possible (which is true), and that it was my intention to start  having showers around that time as well (at like 6:30).  He said that  earplugs were out of the question, and ignored the room swap idea.WIBTA for being loud, choosing defensiveness over making an apology, and for my current choice to continue getting up at 6am?","AITA for making noise at 6am, when housemate still asleep?",NTA
10xa5as,"Well, title says, context here. (tl;dr below)I like singing, and karaoke is​ the only place where I can sing through mic and express the way I want while singing.Karaoke layout : 4 small rooms/limit 2 persons, two chairs and monitor in front, space's kinda like portable toilet.Important -> You can see others in each room, your back too are expose from outside view, waiting to replace you any moment.Something's spicy here. I selected song, speakers starts booming. I start dancing around with handling mic around, overexpressing if you ask me. When selectng second song, I noticed students standing outside my room. Well, not literally outside, but leaning towards mine. I felt nervous. It's​ not like I wasn't before, but my logic is that the room's soundproof, every​one​'s here to enjoy themselves, no matter how cringe they are. Mind your own business.One of the students are someone I knew, not close So those are her friends. She makes me feel disrespected sometimes. You know, asian culture, age correlates to respect. Not into that much, But living with it through whole life does something to you.Starting second song. I noticed that they're literally waiting​ in front of my room, watching me overexpressing to amusing eyes, I saw them laugh too. Very embarrassed I am. Stressed too, like they wanted me to get out as fast as I can. I continued singing, dancing around as usual. Their faces are full of amusing and laughing. I feel so bad. 3 students there, 2 of them I don't​ recognize. Jeez, I feel like a clown.At the end, I heard one of them yell ""Song's end, c'mon!"" (He told those two) I got out, saying ""What the hell?"" with offended face. Two in front become quiet. Now there's someone I knew approach, saying hi to me. I responded, walked out feeling embarrassed. Very bad, I'll say.Then I thought, did I make others in their room feeling uncomfort? I danced around in cringy manner, but I think everyone should mind their business. But now I'm uncertain, AITA​?TL;DR : Student I knew with their friends laughed at my overexpression while singing karaoke. I just want to have fun, but now I was thinking that maybe I will cause those who saw from other rooms feel uncomfortable.",AITA For overexpressing singing in soundproof karaoke?,NTA
10x4fyw,"​I (17f) am about to finish school (I dont know how it is in your country but here its called Gymnasium and you get your ""Abitur"" at the end of 12th or 13th grade if you pass). When we get our Abitur there will be a school party with our class, teachers and parents. We will get our final report cards and certificate in school and then we will get to a party in the late afternoon and celebrate the fact that we finished school. There will be dancing, alcohol, etc. We as a class can decide the location of the party. The class president was told by the headmaster to dicuss and vote about it with the whole class. But she just picked the location that she and her best friend liked the most. She didnt even asked anyone else about it. The place is not that bad. Its big but the problem is that all of us will need to pay 50$ to cover the rent, drinks, etc. and its not near, like 25km away. And there were much cheaper and nearer options than this. The whole class is angry at her and we didnt know that she had already decided it for us until the headmaster annouced that the place was rented.  The class president had done this before in the same year when we got to decide the place our class would make a 2 week trip to. After that a few classmates talked with her about it and she said she was sorry.Now i consider just not going the party because i am so mad at her and the place is way to overpriced.I will just get my stuff at school and leave. Some of my friends want to do the same thing and we talked with the class president that we will do it if the party would be at the location she picked. She told us that it was already rented and invitations were sent to parents and we couldnt cancel it now. When she realized that we were completly serious she was so mad and started yelling at us. She said it needs to be with the whole class to be really good and we were being childish. Then she called us assholes for doing so and left.I am sad about how everything turned out and i just want to have a nice last party with the people i spent 8 years of my life with. The friends who wont attend the party too are planning a separated party with just us. But this will not make up for the party I wished to have since a few years. I wanted it to be special. But I feel like even if I would attend the school party I couldnt enjoy it.WIBTA if i wont attend the school party?",WIBTA if I wont attend a school party because I was not included in picking the location?,NTA
10x8hjz,"So me and 5 other classmates had a discord server on which we talked, it was made about 2 or 3 months ago. We've been using it ever since. We were originally 5, but another guy joined after a while. 3 of them are some of my best friends, I'm close with them and I really like talking to them. One of them(Who we'll call Leo) is an okay person I guess. We don't talk a lot in real life, but when we do he's generally all right. Online though, he gets a bit annoying and acts as if he was superior to the rest of us. Now the last person, who I'll call Jay(not his real name) for the purpose of this post. Jay and I used to talk quite a lot, but then he started making negative comments about me, and he also said something about my girlfriend once. I assumed this was for comedic purposes, so I just let it slide. A couple of days ago, I decided that I wanted to just stop talking to whoever I don't really enjoy the company of, so I left the server. Rather fast after I left, the friend who owned the group asked me what happened. I told him that I wanted a group with only the four of us, and I didn't want anyone else. He decided that it would be best to kick the Jay and Leo regardless of me telling him not to. When he did, I told him to invite them back in since I wasn't gonna go back on that server anyways. Turns out he didn't invite them back. Now this evening I got a text from Jay telling me that I'm a coward and all that.  I tried to explain to him that I don't have any problem with him or the other guy specifically(even though I don't really like them I'm not mad at them or anything I just want to distance myself), but he just kept insisting that I'm a coward and that the fact that I'm ""negating"" the allegations says a lot about me. Personally I don't think I'm TA but I'm curios to see if any of you think otherwise.  Edit: I forgot to mention that Jay found the server:  One of my friends asked Jay if he and I are mad at each other, Jay said no and asked what happened, and my friend said that I made another server. Jay asked why and my friend said that I didn't want the two of them in the server(which is not what I told him but rather what he thought would be the reason). ",AITA for making a group with only 4 of my friends,NTA
10wwo3a,"My friend and I have wanted to go to travelling for a month for a while but haven't had any solid plans as I have needed to save and it's difficult for me to get a month off work. About two and a half years ago I met my current bf and we fell in love etc. He has always wanted to travel too so I invited him. Now we have started saving and formally requested leave my friend is saying she feels like a third wheel and is thinking of not going. I feel terrible and after writing this feel like I should have spoke to her beforehand but now I feel like it would be weird to un invite my bf.Aita? *** Thankyou everyone for your responses I needed it! So I spoke to my friend and she said we did discuss it beforehand, but I feel like I put her in a shitty position in the first place and that's my issue. It's going to get split so my bf meets us after 2 weeks.",AITA for inviting my bf travelling,YTA
10wuk41,"We have this particular “sale” at work where it requires a full Efpos/POS Machine/Till setup in an offsite location (not far away, within walking distance). I work in the warehouse, although I have my own IT Company on the side, specialising in business IT setups similar to this. We’ve had this sale before, and my boss asked me to set up all these machines. I did it for him, but it took 4-5 hours away from me doing my actual job in warehouse (and I fell behind). One thing to note is that I get paid $30 an hour for my warehouse job, but I charge roughly ~ $100-125ph for my IT job. We have this “sale” coming up at work again soon, and my boss has asked me to do the IT setup again. I refused and said that if he pays me my going rate through my business (mates rates) i’ll do it in my off-work hours and he’s now annoyed at me. AITA?",AITA for refusing my bosses requests,NTA
10xhtmp,"I F13 had a bit of a fallout a few months ago because she left me for all of her cheer friends. Recently we’ve gotten closer together and she’s been wanting to hang out too, her and her ex boyfriend broke up about a year ago. Us being best friends at the time i supported her decision but I felt that her reason was very unfair to him because everytime he tried to talk to her, she got annoyed, she would tell him this so he wouldn’t talk to her but then she would get mad that he didn’t talk to her. I felt bad for him because i thought he was perfect for her. I’ve recently been talking to him because i can’t help but feel my heart flutter when I talk to him. We’ve been super close and i plan on asking him out soon but I’m a little scared that she’s going to overreact. I’ve tried giving her subtle hints that i’m wanting to date him, i was talking to her asking if i should be bothered that one of my “friends” is dating my ex boyfriend and how she would feel if she were in that situation but she always says “nobody has asked him out yet so i don’t know”. Super helpful. So AITA for wanting to ask him out?",AITA for wanting to date my ex best friends ex boyfriend?,NTA
10x6c6x,"It was November and our friend group started making plans for New Year's eve. We still live with our parents and we needed to find a place, make food arrangements and etc. The day before I talked to my friend Mary and she told me she doesn't want anything expensive because she is short on money. Next days evening we made a groupchat and Mary started acting rudely. We all searched for a place and Mary and her boyfriend didnt move a finger to help us. She needed to call an owner and she didn't because apparently she and her bf got into a fight. We all kept on searching and all Mary did was say something "" this looks like a grandmas house"" or "" its ugly"" etc. So one of my friends bf said to her that we need space to sleep and not to film ig stories. She got mad started saying that we disrespect her and make her feel bad, acted like a victim and saying sorry all the time for example "" sorry that i went to take a shower"" my friend (Lisa) texted her basicly teaching how to treat others. At one point she started acting really petty and entitled. And it was all because she wasn't paying a penny because Mary's bf would. So they both started leaving groupchat and made us feel bad for asking for help. So i just got mad that they left and said i don't want to spend New Year's with them if they act that way and everyone agreed. Then she got a screenshot from one of the friends. And started texting me and Lisa that that is not what friends do and send voicemails of her crying and everything. Minutes later Mary's bf texted saying to me that im an awful, two-faced person and to leave her alone. Lisa recieved something similar from both of them. So now im wondering am i really a bad friend?",AITA for leaving my friend out of my New Year's plans?,NTA
10x613g,"Hi! For background, I (15F) and my partner (15NB, let's call them Willow) got together due to one of our mutual friends telling Willow about my feelings for them without my knowledge and consent. I was understandably upset at this friend, and grew distant from them. Later on, me and Willow met a few new friends, including Alex (stand-in name, 14M) and we clicked due to a common interest in a game.After a few weeks of friendship, Alex comes to us with a dilemma. He says he's mad at another friend of his. After prompting from me and Willow, he elaborates. He made a joke about his friend's crush on a call with both the friend and her crush, and in retaliation the friend muted him and told him off. He made the excuse of the crush not hearing it. Now, due to the situation with Willow and the mutual friend, I agreed with the friend. I said she had a right to be upset, considering romantic feelings are fragile and scary. Alex says I should be siding with him, and here's the kicker; my partner agrees!I get upset because having privacy breached like that is not okay, obviously, and I say as much. My partner says I shouldn't be mad, considering it got us together and might give the friend a push in the right direction. I call Willow dense, due to the fact I was in tears (and they were aware of this) when I found out my feelings had been aired out to them and other friends I wasn't all that close with. I then tell Alex that what he did was stupid and ignorant. I was likely too harsh for sure. But, AITA?",AITA for insulting my friend and partner?,NTA
10wporw,"I [20F] and my bf [24M] have been together for a little over 3 years. He’s got a new job recently so we both work on average work 12 hours per shift. Since his new job, I felt like I haven’t gotten the same attention as before. I’m usually initiating intimacy and showing interest as before. Now he just comes home, asks for a drink nearly everyday and just lays there until bedtime. Even after we’re intimate, I have to ask for my attention and he usually makes it out to be a chore and uninterested which is a turn off for me. He doesn’t really touch me just for the sake of it anymore. When I change in front of him, he’s not in a gaze or complements often like before and just focuses on our dog purposely. Sex is a lot less often. I’m 20 for gods sake. This feels like an old marriage. I let him know I felt ignored and he just apologized and followed me everywhere around the house for the rest of the night. Sad. I understand his job requires physical labor all day so I tried withholding how I felt but it just slipped out.",AITA for being too honest,NTA
10x5me7,Basically I’ve been holding in for how I feel about my cousin for months. It’s been driving me insane. She is always being so condescending towards me and has a sort of a superiority complex. She always thinks she’s right about everything. I tried to ignore it and just pretend like everything is fine. But today I got fed up and couldn’t take it anymore. I’m tired of her pretending to be my mother or something as if she’s just perfect and has no flaws. I told her how I felt over text and she was furious and called me a coward for not facing her directly with my concerns. She said I was fake for holding in how I felt. But the only reason is because I didn’t want to start an argument. It got very heated and it ended with my dropping an f bomb on her and she said our relationship was over which I’m fine with. I blocked her. She lives in the same apartment complex as me so it would most likely be awkward if I ran into her again. I’m just wondering am I the asshole here for not confronting her in person over this? What’s wrong with settling it over text?,AITA For arguing with my cousin via text messages?,NTA
10x55p6,"I smoke 2 cigarettes and have usually 2 cups of coffee a day. I tried quitting smoking last year and chose a really bad time, and lasted 3 weeks before picking up again. Since then my partner has told me they don't want me to smoke more than 2 cigarettes a day. However because of the way addiction works, it often leaves me feeling deprived. So sometimes when he's not around I'll have a sneaky cigarette or two.I know I need to quit but know how hard it is too. I also know it needs to be your own decision to stop.Now my partner has had to cut out caffeine due to health reasons, and I usually have a coffee in the morning and again in the afternoon. My partner has been trying to get me to have a decaff in the afternoon instead. And I've put up a bit of a fight too, I enjoy my afternoon coffee especially when I'm working.Anyway, most days in the evening I want to smoke, and have some resentment to my partner for not allowing me to. I feel deprived of the 'pleasures' of my day. So I've tried to express this, but obviously from their point of view it's stupid because all they're trying to do is help me be healthier. We've had a little bit of a fight because of it. But I feel guilty now pushing them away when all they did was cared enough to try and help. I guess it's just that little addict part of my brain fighting back and panicking that the stimulants will be taken away.We've been together for 8 years but I've usually been able to do whatever I want, so being told I'm not allowed to feels like I'm being controlled and I'm not allowed to do things or make my own decisions.  So.. am I the asshole for getting upset and feeling controlled because of this?",AITA for wanting to continue my bad habits?,NTA
10wshp0,"Hi! Late night thoughts have plagued me to reflect on recently learning that some of my friends have not liked my vents about work. For context, there are a few friends I work with although not directly with, that we will often joke, ask advice, and definitely bitch to each other about stuff. Lately, I noticed one particular friend A continue to make snide comments about how I am a gossip or even go as far to compare me to Regina George from ""Mean Girls""...masked by jokes or Lmfaos. I'm realizing it's not quite so much a joke anymore if she keeps mentioning that. The thing is, none of our petty gossip or bitching is one-sided, and maybe I can understand if it is a little too much for someone at one time, but I would rely on my friends to check me if it was too much. I understand that constant negativity can weigh on someone. I feel that it is an unfair judgment, and I am being branded as a ""mean girl""bc my tone is more ghetto and candid, vs hers is more PC. This is a friend who I've known since college and outside of work, so that's why I felt like we could trust each other to be honest and candid with. I'm just a little upset at the hypocrisy of it. We celebrate good things too,  but it feels like only our rants is being highlighted. I asked our mutual friend if I bitched/shit talk too much in our shared group chat, and he didn't think so. TL:DR - Am I the Asshole for Venting to our friends, in reciprocation to their venting too. Does that make me as a gossip?",AITA: Venting to My Friends,NTA
10wscsp,"My (35M) good friend Abe (31M) is a professional dancer who struggles financially. He doesn't make a lot of money, and has a lot of financial responsibility: He has 3 kids (8,6,4), from 2 different women. They don't live with him. 8yo lives with his mother. The other two lost their mother last year in a car accident and now live with their maternal grandparents. Abe doesn't have the space or time to take care of them, but he still sends money for school and other stuff. During the pandemic, he lost his dancing gig and really struggled financially, but things are a little bit more stable now. He is very responsible with money but doesn't make enough to support his kids or have them come live with them.  Abe is a very smart guy, he taught himself English and has worked on small electric installations projects without prior training (not very safe, I know, but the point is he learns very quickly). I want to suggest to him to go back to school. Dancing is not a very long-time career where we live in Africa, so I  wanted to suggest he goes back to school to get his school diploma, go to college at night, and get a driving license. I feel like it would give him a lot more options in the future. I would even be inclined to support the schooling financially if he is willing to discuss a plan (There are some inexpensive options here). I don't know how to bring it up though. When I ask what he wants to do in the future, he is very vague about it, and generally doesn't want to into those conversations. I am afraid it might come off as condescending or patronizing. (I admit I have acted like that in the past with other people). It might seem unrealistic to him to go back to school, and I don't want to come off as tone-deaf. I have a high education degree, and a stable job, so naturally, this is my first thought, but maybe not everyone wants to do that. We also had minor fights about money in the past, when I used to lend him some, and we decided to remove that from our relationship, but we still tiptoe around the subject, and can't talk about how much we spend on things without it getting awkward.  WIBTA to meddle in this life like this? I mean I, myself, hate unsolicited advice and feel like I might not like it if someone made a suggestion like this telling me this is what you should do with your life. On the other hand, I feel like, as his friend, I should at least bring it up, especially since I am also willing to help with money if he let me.   What do you think?",WIBTA if I suggest to my friend that he goes back to school,YWBTA
10x89bq,"My SO recently moved to Germany and is taking an intensive language course (currently level A2.2-B1.1) which costs 500 euros. The course is 2.5 months long, 4 days a week, 4 hours per day. My SO told me multiple times since the course began a few weeks ago that the teacher often explains things in English or says the English translation for a new German word if the class doesn't seem to get it right away (instead of explaining the new word or concept using other more simple German words).  I suggested to speak up and ask the teacher directly to please refrain from using English so they can be immersed and learn German more quickly. It is an ""intensive course"" after all.My SO is very non-confrontational though and didn't feel confident enough to say anything. I had offered to write an email before and there was no major pushback against the idea, but I wanted to wait and see first if things could be resolved between student and teacher.Well, after three weeks of classes and hearing more complaints about English in the classroom, I took it upon myself to write an email to the school. I kept it polite and objective. I mentioned that when I took German classes years ago, there wasn't a word of English spoken the entire time, and that's how it should be. I got a reply to my email thanking me for the tip and that they will talk to the teacher and find a solution.Now my SO is mad at me. We're in a big argument because my SO is paranoid that the teacher will somehow make an enemy out of them now (I asked the school to keep the source of the complaint anonymous). It's blown way out of proportion in my opinion. I'm accused of going over my SO's head, being disrespectful, crossing personal boundaries, ignoring their wishes to solve the problem in their own way. But I just did what I think was the right thing to do. There are like 10 people in the class, all from different countries, and not even all of them speak English so what the hell.",AITA for writing an email to my SO's German language school because the teacher was speaking in English too often?,YTA
10wrxt6,"My stomach hurts really bad and I’m not sure what the cause is, I just moved into a college dorm room where I share the bathroom with one other person. I’ve been out all day at work and have just come home in the late afternoon and am having really bad shits. I don’t usually take long, so this is the first time. In general do  roommates understand or do u think my roommate will get mad at me? We also have a ton of toilets in the building on the common floors, I used the one in the apartment because I was in the bathroom just about to take a shower when I realised I really needed to go. Any advice is helpful as I’m new and learning to navigate shared situations.EDIT: Thanks for the help, it was a genuine question and im glad that a situation like this is generally understood.",AITA for taking ages in a shared bathroom when I have diarrhea?,NTA
10xa2ad,"My roomamte (22Nbi) and I(22FtM) are in a theater group. A group if us were talking about role changes but admittedly I dissociated hard during this conversation, one of the younger boys (16-isk I think) noticed and thought it was hilarious that my brain ""doesn't work"". My roommate was laughing with him and said ""Your 3 brain cells probably think the same thing"" (something along those lines, I really just wasn't present for it but that what they told me). When I came back to we were all laughing about me not being able to think all the time. Then, when we got home all hell broke lose. That boys mom (who was there for all of this) blocked me and went off on my roommate, apparently sending multiple paragraphs about how her son has a learning disability and she can't belive how cruel we could be to him when they've all been nothing but nice to us. Idk, I'm confused and my head is spinning trying to peace together what actually happened. What do yall think? Also, what do I do about rehearsal tonight? My roommate wants to drop the play and I'm not sure if I want to or not??? I'm just confusedETA: Went to rehearsal tonight, everything went well. The mom didn't speak to me, her sons and even her wife still did. I don't feel as conflicted now.  I belive my roommate shouldn't of said what they did, but also the mom did overreact a bit and I was just there lol.",AITA for what my roomamte said while i was dissociated?,NTA
10wy5ud,"we will call ms witch (not her real name). ms witch is not a nice teacher whatsoever to any student in the class. her reputation in our class is the worst and no one likes her, everybody insults her every chance they get away from her. she has made more than 6 or more girls cry all of which are girls that I never saw cry even though they get yelled at in other classes. my history with this teacher is basically 4 times crying last year & 4 times this year & a few times yelling at me for reasons I never knew of. she is not the best but that's adjustable. but she picks out a crying child from the class and calls them out humiliating them in front of the entire class (mind you we are 37 students in 1 class).know that her history of doing this is out of the way, let's get into the real problem of today.it was math class ( 2 continuous classes), and ms witch asked us to take out the paper we solved in morning. no problem! . second question she asked me to explain and I wrote the correct answer despite there being no calculation, claiming I did it in my head even though we have solved this before in class. the question was:find the increase or decrease percentage if, Selling price = 250 and COST PRICE= 240A. 4 1/4% profit. B. 10% loss. C. 4 1/6% profit. D.10% profitthe answer is C.because I didn't know the correct formula for this question she mentioned that I write imposition of that formula and continued explaining the question and making assumptions about not knowing anything. she has always had an impression that I was a dumb math student and that the only thing I'm good at is art. fair enough, right after she told me to sit down I started writing the imposition that Profit % = profit /COST PRICE x 100, (i assumed that I was meant to write in class as she didn't give that kind of details in class) in the first I wrote it in pink ink 20 times as per her request, and then I realized that she might yell at me for that too, so I wrote in blue ink 27 times just in case( i lost count of how many times I was writing). in-between, she called out my name and a few others asking if we were listening and I showed her my book writing the imposition she gave me. likely to say she was not pleased. she started yelling that she asked me to do it at home even though she didn't and sarcastically remarked of me saying what an obedient child writing the imposition immediately after I'd been told and that too in the class. why she yelled in the first part is understandable, because I can't multitask listening to her even though she is slow at everything, and writing my imposition at the same time. but to make fun of me for your mistake as a teacher and that too in front of the whole class. At the end that left me confused and pissed. that would be the end of the story but she humiliated another student with the most puzzling and unfitting reason ever and made her cry in the SAME period. i do feel like an AH for writing in class, so aita for writing imposition in class?",AITA for writing imposition in class?,NTA
10wsknd,"(For reference, there is no p3d0ph1l1a whatsoever)I, (17 Non-Binary), attend a Sixth Form in the UK (a college equivalent for the Americans) and I study History and English Language. I have multiple teachers for each part of the courses I study.For reference, in history I am learning about Religious Conflict in Tudor England and Tsarist and Communist Russia. One of my teachers, for privacy reasons will be called Mrs. S, gives an impression of disliking me.And no, it’s not that typical feeling of me not liking her. She really doesn’t like me. And I’m not sure why. I haven’t done anything to her.I have troubles with my memory so I’ll list all the things I can remember her doing that explicitly give me said-impression:1. She goes out of her way to help the other kids in my class but not me.2. She doesn’t look at me in the eye at all. Like at all. She’ll go whole lessons ignoring me.3. She doesn’t utter a word to me in lessons. Rarely, it’s about two or three words. (One instance involved her handing me some work and asking if I was okay and saying okay the second i opened my mouth to speak)4. She actively avoids the back of the class (where I typically sit) in any classroom we are in (we don’t have a set classroom).5. Her marking on my work does not involve or feature any constructive feedback, rather snarky criticism, especially on the recent mock exams we’ve had back (I know she marked it because I recognised her handwriting).6. She nitpicks and exploits any little mistake I make on my class work and my homework. (For context, she teaches the Religious Conflict part of the history curriculum and she had a starter activity in class and one of the questions was naming all of the Tudor monarchs and she belittled me for forgetting about Lady Jane Grey).7. When I am absent from lessons (I have autism and anxiety for reference and when I am late to lesson it makes it difficult for me to go into a lesson), she doesn’t mark me down as being there nor does she bother to alert the senior staff that I am absent from lesson.8. She gives the other kids in the class help but doesn’t give me help despite my attempts to ask for help. As of yesterday, we received the results of our mock exams and I got a U in history (which means that the exam is considered unmark-able) and not gonna lie it really stung. I revised my ass off for the history exams and somehow I still failed. This has nothing to do with why I reported her.Last night, my mother sent an email to my head of year, requesting a meeting in-school about the situation. As I type this, I am currently in a mental health place in school to avoid any confrontation between myself and her.I have been wondering if reporting her was too extreme and if I went too far? So AITA?UPDATE:Hi all. Thanks for the comments, some positive and some negative. I liked seeing both sides of the argument as to whether I was the asshole or not. My head of year (who is also one of my English teachers) has confirmed that she received my mum’s email and has asked whether I would like to be moved to the other history class in my year, I have confirmed that I would like to.For those of who you who said that I am the asshole, I should mention that I am aware that she might not have intentionally made me upset. I appreciate your opinions, with the exception for one user who took their time to send a very lengthy and nasty message to me. I have ignored the message and deleted it. Thanks all.",AITA for reporting a teacher?,NTA
10x3ok2,"I didn't know what else to put in the title but this is some classic high-school drama so here we goI, 16, in a friend group. Recently we added someone new to school named Carly. Carly is also friends w another group of friends that's your usual popular kids group so she isn't as close to us anymore.There is also Matt another new guy in class. For anyone needing it, we're almost the end of our school year. Carly and Matt are close, along with some other friends. For a while now and from time to time, we make some comments about Matt that's scene as making fun of. And honestly, I don't even mean most of it, it's just for fun. Our group leans over to the ""disliking"" Matt more than liking, even tho we're on the Grey area. We don't talk crap about him a lot, just sometimes his haircut some other cringe stuff but nothing more. The reason why is cause he's constantly acting very assaulty with our friend Nathan. Another reason is cause he and his boy friends cause a lot of trouble in our class (giving our class bad rep) and that he says a lot of slurs. Just a few hours ago, one of our friends, Kyle dmed me and told me one of us in the group snitched to one of Matt's close friends, Luke, about us making fun of Matt by sending a cropped screenshot of one of our group conversations in their own gc. Now this panicked me cause I don't like a lot of drama and I didn't wanna cause a fight. We talked a bit and we came to the conclusion that Carly snitched cause she's super close with Matt and Luke. I'm not planning to confront her, just to simply have a meeting with my other friends and delete all our messages, then act like nothing happen and to just not repeat it.But this got me wondering, was AITA for making fun of him? I don't like him but he's a good guy and treats everyone well. He's just very dislikable to us. And most our insults was mostly about his bowlcut,  a few of his posts, etc etc, nothing way too deep and calling him names. I'm not trying to justify anything, just saying that cause I think it isn't a huge deal. AITA?",AITA for causing problems and more drama?,YTA
10xv5qo,"my daughter who is 27 is getting married in August. She hasn't invited my wife or our children. I'm very hurt and I told her that since my family wasn't welcome, I shouldn't be welcome too. She was angry with me and has called me crying saying that I'm an ah for doing this to her since who is going to walk her down the isle? My daughter was a happy child until she was 13 and her mum and I divorced. She was devastated and we did everything from therapy etc. She couldn't fathom what was going on since we were a happy family. I met my beautiful wife 4 years later and it was the second blow to her, since she lived with the hope that her mum and I would reconcile. She never liked my wife even with the effort from the later to have a relationship. Now my wife and our small children aren't welcome to her wedding. Every one else is invited including her mums new BF and his sons. She Told me that she was free to invite whoever she wanted on her big day and I totally agree with her and support her decision but then Shouldn't I also be free to decline the invitation? Why am I being the AH here?",AITA for telling my daughter that I won't be attending her wedding?,NTA
10xr5u1,"I'm using a throwaway because I'm honestly embarrassed by this situation.  Growing up my parents were very sex positive.  Which is great for them and my siblings.  For me, not so much.  I'm an introvert and I prefer to keep my private live well private.  Think Sheldon Cooper with less raw sex appeal. Somehow I managed to meet a woman who loves me and we started a relationship in university.  When I brought her home to meet my parents they were all over themselves saying how they were cool with us sharing a bed in their house.  We hadn't been together yet.  I was mortified and my girlfriend, at the time, couldn't stop blushing.  We stayed in my room but just for sleep.  We have been married for a few years now and we are comfortable with each other and our intimate life is healthy, for us.  We just had our first child and my parents asked if they could visit to meet their grandbaby.  We said sure.  The first night though was terrible.  The bed in the guest bedroom isn't even up against a shared wall and we could hear everything.  I don't want to hear everything.  I don't want to hear anything.  My wife thinks I'm being ridiculous and that it's lovely that a married couple in their fifties still has that attraction and energy. I talked to them in the morning before I left for work and asked if they could please not do that on my home.  Or if they could at least do it when I'm not around.  They said I'm being a pride and that isn't how they raised me.  I said that I was allowed to feel how I did in my own home so I said if they want to do that they can stay at a hotel or do it when I'm not home.  They are staying with my brother who lives in the same city as I do.  He called me up to say I was being a dick imposing rules on my parents that they didn't have for us.  I told him to mind his own business.  Now my sisters are calling me for the same reason.  I'm thinking of just blocking all of them. I think I have the right to be comfortable in my own home.  AITA?",AITA for asking my parents to either stay at a hotel or to not have sex in my house while I'm home?,NTA
10xvwjd,"I (24F) have psoriasis, it’s all over my body and presents like vitiligo in a way, just so you can get an image in your head. I have medicated cream that helps with the itchiness, and also it helps with the dryness. The psoriasis is all over my body with it stopping right on my neck, and I do have a few spots on the sides of my face near my ears.  I’ve always been pretty embarrassed as I cannot cake on enough makeup to truly cover my psoriasis as it is textured and thick, and on top of that, no matter what I do or however I attempt to apply said makeup it always looks horrible, my doctor also recommended not to smother the areas with makeup as it tends to make it worse and itchier.  Anyways, onto the story. My friend's wedding was on Saturday and of course, I was invited. I bought a dress that would cover my body fairly well as I really didn’t want to draw any attention to myself. The entire week leading up to the wedding I was continuously testing concealers on the remaining spots that were exposed, which only made me itchy and I basically scratched my skin raw. With psoriasis, those areas sometimes bleed if I scratch too much, which is what happened.  My boyfriend who was attending the wedding with me told me I shouldn’t worry about it and that it would be better if I stopped trying to cover them as it was just making it worse. I reluctantly agreed, and we attended the wedding ceremony. It was great, I was extremely happy for my friend and her now husband. But as we were leaving to go to cocktail hour, she pulled me aside and asked if I was going home to cover my psoriasis.  I was a little taken aback and explained I couldn’t as the entire week I had been testing concealers and it made it 20 times worse. She told me she didn’t care and that this was her wedding and she didn’t want her guests asking me questions or feeling queasy during dinner. My boyfriend stepped in and told her if that was the case we would be leaving and not attending the rest of the wedding. She was pissed off and extremely angry at that choice, and ever since then she’s been ranting to our friends about it. AITA here?","AITA for leaving my ""friends"" wedding when she told me I needed to cover up my psoriasis?",NTA
10xx3yv,"One of my husband’s best friend is getting married in a month. Both he and his ex were asked to be in the respective wedding parties. His ex and him share a child and him and I share a child. While I don’t have an issue with them being in the bridal party together, I do have an issue with them being paired to walk down the aisle. They could easily switch up who walks who, but for some reason they seem adamant on having them walk together. Everyone in the bridal party are all old friends and often talk about times that he and his ex were together fondly. To me it seems like a calculated decision. Not only does it seem unnecessary to have them walk together but it seems inconsiderate. AITA for saying that if they are to walk together, I won’t attend the wedding?","AITA for telling my husband that if he walks his ex down the isle at a friends wedding, I won’t go?",NTA
10xtpv6,"i (22f) dorm on campus. our rooms are assigned by the dorm admins. last semester i lived next to a girl who openly told me that she thought i was very good looking (in an admiration way, not romantic) and asked if i was on any diets. i said no, i just eat whatever i want. do i gym? nope but i wish i did since i don't have time, and my roommate at the time jokingly added on that i eat cinnabon almost everyday (i do).fast forward to this semester, new room assignments given, i become roommates with the neighbor. i thought it was going fine but today she blew up at me when i got home and started yelling at me over how i lied to her. i asked her what she meant, and she said that she took my ""advice"" and stopped going to the gym and started eating what she wanted but started gaining weight. she said i set up her up to fail by lying to her about being ""effortlessly pretty"" and said she'd expose me for it since now she has ""insider info"" that i eat vegetables and workout and that she's never seen me eat a cinnamon bun.i clarified that yes, i do eat whatever i want, but i grew up on a cabbage farm and vegetables are the only things i know how to cook. also, vegetables are super cheap here and are the only things i can afford with my part time job at a cinnabon, which gives me free cinnamon buns every shift, which i eat on lunch breaks. and i mentioned that yes, i don't have time to gym because i'm always at training, i'm on the uni's taekwondo team. and what i said was not advice, i thought she was just trying to make conversation.she yelled at me some more until i guess one of the neighbors called for a safety check because security came to check on us, and she went to bed without talking to me. i do feel bad, i think i may have misled her by not clarifying my lifestyle and people have mentioned i'm bad at reading social cues, so maybe she was asking for advice. i didn't mean for all this to happen. aita?edit:""why didn't you tell her more about your lifestyle/why did you omit info?""at the time the first convo happened, it was the first week of school and we were heading down the elevator. i didn't really know her and the ride was less than a minute so i tried to answer to be polite, but also be brief so i didn't get cut off before we parted. ""you should've known she was asking for advice!"" yes, i should've, but i honestly didn't interpret it that way which is why i'm wondering if i'm TA.""how did she find out?""i think she found out what i ate because i bulk cook twice a week, and then found out i train because my team likes posting training videos on instagram and i add it to my stories when tagged. we swapped ig's when we became roommates. me working at cinnabon i think she only found out when i told her since i change in and out of uniform at the branch. ""were you intentionally misleading her?""no dear god i'm just a private person who's bad with social cues, which sometimes translates to being a dick""why are you trying to be one of those girls who's effortlessly pretty""i don't think i am? i don't hide growing up on a cabbage farm, and i can't hide me being in taekwondo because i compete on national levels.",AITA for not clarifying my lifestyle to my roommate?,NTA
10xqr6k,English is not my first language so sorry if there is lot wrong with my grammar. I lost my right eye to cancer in my earlier teens it was a struggle to adapt but 13 years later and I am pretty much used to it. Now I hate wearing a prosthetic eye.  I have 3 prosthetic eyes I have gotten over the years but due To scar tissue in my eye socket that healed werid the prosthetics rubs agaist it and make me incredibly uncomfortable. So I usually just wear a eye patch instead.  This obviously bring the attention of most people. Over the 13 year I gotten some what used to people asking about it. But I still find it annoying. It's not so much the asking how I lost my eye that bugs me.  it is the fact that everytime when I give a short answer to that question basically just telling then I had cancer people start asking rather personal question about it.These people asking are not friends they are not people I know beside seeing them in class or on campus.I personally don't get why people think it ok to go up and ask someone you don't know something so personal.So when I ended up transferring to a new university and I just didn't want to deal with all that again. So I started making up weird stories as to how I lost my eye. One that made people uncomfortable enough not to dig any further. I figure if they felt they had the right to make me feel uncomfortable then why shouldn't I be able to do the same to them.So as the time when on and people kept asking about it.  the stories as to how I lost my eye became more and more  ridiculous. I'm honestly shock people believed half of them. For example I actually told someone that It was because my sister poked it out with a pencil when I was a kid and our dog ate it. Yeah someone actually believe that.  Well eventually everyone found out the stories I been telling are not true and now a few people are mad.One of my friends think I went to far but honestly I just don't get why people think they deserve the back story to someone else trauma. I'm not a tv show character here for you entertainment. I'm a person who had to completely change her life to adapt and it wasn't easily. AITA for making up ridiculous stories as to how I lost my eye because I'm tried of people asking,AITA for making up ridiculous stories as to how I lost my eye because I'm tried of people asking,NTA
10xtx35,"I (m19) work in retail. A man came yesterday shortly before we closed. He started asking me for some stuff like where they were and such, nothing weird. I went to the back to do some cleaning and stuff we close, my coworker (f20) stayed there with him. After like 15 minutes I start hearing some screaming so I rushed back in to find out the customer was yelling at my coworker because she ""stole his wallet"". I tried to calm him down, told him that maybe it fell from his pocket and I'll help him find it but he was not having it. He started to yell at me too, so I told my coworker to call the cops. When they came (quite quickly) the man (who I forgot to add was old) started grabbing his chest and telling the cops that we were trying to steal from him, and he also demanded to get his stuff for free because we stole his money. The police arrested him.I feel very shitty tbh, my friend also told me that if he was old I could've just kick him out which is true, maybe calling the police on him was too much. It's my first job so maybe I exaggerated because I don't know how to react in these kind of situations.",AITA for calling the police on a customer who won't leave the store?,NTA
10xwnmw,"Possibly too petty to be an AITA but curious what others think. My wife was packing my son's lunch and she asked me to grab some crackers. As I was looking in the pantry I asked what kind of crackers and she replied in an exasperated bordering on annoyed voice ""just pick any cracker"". The next cracker box I saw were animal crackers, so I grabbed those and started to put them in a bag for her. Even more annoyed now, she said, ""I said crackers, not cookies"". I said that animal crackers literally have 'crackers' in the name, and if she wanted a certain type of cracker she should have specified. We bickered for a bit and then she very confidently declared ""ask anyone, they'll agree"". I think she ITHA, but was she right?","AITA? ""Just pick any cracker"" she said",YTA
10xslsp,"Hi -To make a long story short, I own my condo/townhome and there is an adjoining unit on each side. For about two years, there has been an intermittent chemical smell emanating from the left unit wall. This has been anything from rubbing alcohol, to sweet peppery chemicals, to skunk, to ammonia and more. It stopped for a while, but two weeks ago it came back so bad that the two units on my right side actually completely evacuated for multiple days. We did not have that option, so we had to sleep on the living room floor with the windows open, vents closed, and no heat for over a week. I have been addressing this with the HOA since it started and they have been less than helpful. When the evacuation happened two weeks ago, I went to the office with 6 other involved neighbors to seek help/guidance. HOA management told each of us individually that we needed to check for dead animals again - an elderly lady in our row feeds wildlife, and because of this neither Animal Control or the local fire department will come investigate. Weird, not helpful, but okay. No dead animals, no source of gas leaks in our properties. It went away, we’re good.Well, I was woken up to the exact same smell combination at 2 am today. It’s getting worse as time goes on. Would I be the asshole if I went against the HOA and called the fire department anyway?I feel like that’s a stupid question, but the HOA has made me really feel like I would be doing something wrong if I did.",WIBTA if I called the fire department anyway?,NTA
10xqugt,"Background: I (18) am an art student. My sister (16) has a GF (16). I share a small office with Sister. I currently live at home with my parents, but am moving out before/around May of this year. A few days ago, I was drawing a new character while Sister and her GF were on video call. My sister does this via computer and usually has her headphones in, so I can’t hear GF.Sister noticed my drawing. She said my character looked weird. I said that I didn’t mind, this was supposed to be a weird character. I was glad the intended vibes were felt.GF got curious and asked what I was doing. Sister’s camera was angled away from me, so GF couldn't see. At best, GF saw the back of my head or my chair. When Sister told her I was drawing, GF suddenly became interested too. Sister said that GF wants to see my art.I said “I’m not really comfortable”, the drawing wasn’t done, it didn’t look good, it was just experimental, I wasn’t proud of it, it wasn’t my usual style, etc.— but they didn’t take no for an answer. Every time I shot it down, Sister would ask me again because GF REALLY wanted to see. We had a back and forth of “I don’t want to”/“Why not? Just show it”. Sister told me to show something else since I didn’t like what I was working on. “Those aren’t done either”/“just show something”. 10 minutes of begging later, I caved. I showed them a more finished drawing.They demanded a second. I caved again, and  didn’t fight it that time since I knew they would just keep nagging.Sister disconnected her headphones for me to hear GF go “Wow, those are really good, did you trace?”Tracing other people’s art is a HUGE no-no, basically “art-theft”. It’s super disrespectful and frowned upon unless you’re a beginner looking for practice.I understood the comment as: GF thinks that this is a good piece— but because I made it, then it “must’ve been stolen”, because she didn’t think I was capable.Her comment pushed a button I didn’t even know I had. I said,“I’m a college-art student. I’ve drawn my whole life and I sell commissions. I don’t need to trace.”I will admit— that was a bad response but it was the best I could come up with on the spot. I should’ve phrased it better but the words were already out of my mouth. I just felt like I needed credibility to prove myself— to a high-schooler. Yikes…Sister got offended, saying “It was only a compliment,” as she plugged her headphones back in. They both glared. On the screen I could see GF was talking, but I turned away and went back to drawing. Sister pointed her phone at my computer a few times and I got uncomfortable. I stayed quiet, though. It wasn’t worth it to ask.Sister eventually hung up. Before I left to make dinner, I asked her to make sure her GF didn’t have any screenshots of my art. They didn’t have any water marks on them yet and I didn’t trust GF. My sister scoffed and got even more offended. Reddit, was my anger ok, or AITA?[EDIT: By “trace” I mean plagiarism.]",AITA For Taking A Supposed-Compliment As An Insult?,NTA
10xvw70,"3 weeks ago I gave my mother a beanie I had knitten for her, last week I saw her unraveling it and knitting it again... This means she undid my gift and ""did it right"", it made me feel bad but I said nothing to her back then, and planned to say nothing but never knit anything for her again. Today, she was opening a bag I had tied with a knot and said something like ""sorry to ruin your masterpiece"" and giggled, and this triggered me.. It reminded me of the beanie, and I said to her something like ""wow, you just love to undo anything I do I guess..."" she looked confused, and then I said ""like the beanie I knitted for you, you just had to undo it... I'm never going to knit anything for you ever again"" She got upset, said I was misunderstanding the situation, that she loved the beanie but didn't fit correctly, and she was trying to do it again so she could actually wear it, that I was rude of me to say I would never knit anything for her ever again... And proceeded to stop talking to me. So.. AITA?",AITA for saying I would never knit something for my mother again?,NTA
10xywtv,"I (52M) have a wife (46F), daughter Emily (29F) and two sons (18M and 16M). We adopted our daughter when she was 12 so we have not known her as long as my sons. We operate a small grocery store in the area and our finances are relatively OK.When my daughter turned 18, we offered her to keep staying with us and help out with the store but she did not want to do that and chose to go to college out of state. I can understand as it was a prestigious school. We did not pay for her education but she never asked and seemed to manage fine, I think she got some grants but also took some loans which I assume were forgiven or paid off.I do not know her finances but she seems to be doing well, she has worked for many large tech companies, recently got a nice house (not super large but very modern and new), drives a nice car and dresses really fashionably. She has no partner and kids so i assume she can save a lot. We have always been on good terms.I bought my elder son a car when he was 17, plan to do the same for my younger son, and help them both out to get a start in life by paying their college and giving them a down payment for a house each.My daughter never complained about not getting these and she had a good childhood since we adopted her and a nice house to live in. Recently she learned of our intention to give my elder son a down payment when he finishes college and ever since while we still see her and even go to her place, my wife and I feel like she is acting curt towards us so I feel there might be some resentment. But I do not see how I could really help her since she already has these things, does not plan to have kids unlike my sons, and is much more likely to earn more from her major than my sons (unless they take over our store someday). Obviously our bond is a little different since she was adopted as an older child but we still love her like our own.AITA",AITA for not giving my adopted daughter a down payment and a car after she already has both of these.,YTA
10xr06v,"I don't think I'm the asshole in this situation but I wanted to check.  My husband and I (both men) have recently become parents to a gorgeous set of twins, a boy, and a girl. We've had a few ups and downs as normal parents do but we love the new additions to our family and have been obsessing over them.  This past weekend we had our first outing with a few friends and brought the twins with us. All of our friends were gooing over the cuties, I knew most of them, but there was a girl or two that I believe was a friend of one of them. We were all having a lovely time and the twins were behaving, some of our friends were asking us questions about how raising them was going and a few other things. After everything was good, one of my friends asked, ""With them being twins how can you tell them apart?""  I laughed at the statement, and everyone else did too once they realized the irony of the question. I think responded, ""Well I suppose the best way would be to pull their pants down and have a look.""  No one seemed to have an innate probably with it, but one of the girls seemed uncomfortable, when I brought it up, she called me disgusting for making such a joke about infants and was encouraging.. things, towards children with such a statement(not specifying for obvious reasons). I told her it was a joke and I didn't appreciate being told I was putting my children in danger. It was back and forth for a few minutes before she storms off screaming profanity at me.  All my friends are on my side, but I'm wondering if maybe my joke was inappropriate about my kids.",AITA for making an 'inappropriate' directly towards my babies?,NTA
10xy9iu,"Important context: getting married this summer. Only invited people both me and my fiancé know well, there are no plus ones, only named invitees. So some new partners aren’t invited. But long-standing ones we know well are. My male cousin took offence to this, he has been with his gf just over 6 months, we have never met her. I grew up with this cousin and was quite close, though don’t see each other that often now due to job demands. He told his mum (my auntie) when he received the invite “tell her I’m not going if gf isn’t.” My auntie told my mum, who told me. I reached out to him after some Reddit advice asking to talk, got left on read. texted a few days later “just let me know when works for you” as a reminder, left on read. When it became clear I wasn’t gonna get a response I texted “I’m really sorry if your feelings have been hurt, I’d love us to be able to talk about it &come to an understanding”. Nothing, so I left it.  So last week, RSVP deadline approaching. This cousin is one of 6 - older bro & sis,1 younger sis who is a bridesmaid aged 15, and younger twin bros. I sent his older brother (again, a cousin I’ve been really close with) a gentle reminder to rsvp, he replied straight away saying oh yeah. I then asked if his bro was ok as hadn’t heard from him. Then this cousin launches into a whole rant about how he is totally on his brothers side, I’ve really upset him, that if his brother isn’t going neither is he and his gf (of 10 years). I was distraught. Sent screenshots to my mum who was trying to calm me down and said forget about it, if they don’t want to come that’s on them. Then I start thinking, will older sis come. She was the only one on that side of the fam to RSVP so far and said yes. So again, I sent a text saying hi, just wanted to double check, I’ve heard cousin A and B aren’t coming because we can’t invite cousins gf. As you’ve already RSVPed I just wanted to check you’re coming even if they aren’t? To which I got a similarly upsetting reply about how horrible I’d been not inviting her, she’s totally on her bros side but still wanted to come to see her little sis be a bridesmaid. I’d kept it together all day but I erupted in tears. sent screenshots to my mum who replied saying she is absolutely raging and is uninviting the entire lot of them and not to engage with them. The older female cousin texted my mum to “grow up”. I got sent home from work on compassionate leave a mess - my dad picked me up.So here’s where IMBTA. My 15F cousin, who has no involvement, will now have been told from her mum she’s not a bridesmaid, not going, and I feel SO BAD. I love her and she’s done nothing wrong. She was excited to be one. I was thinking about reaching out to say as far as I’m concerned she can still be one - but in truth I don’t think her mum would let her anymore and it just feels like completely unfair collateral damage. But this is really hanging over me. AITA?EDIT #1: so everyone seems to be passing judgement on whether or not I was wrong to not invite my cousins girlfriend. Which was not the point of the post. If you would desperately like to pass judgement on that, please see my previous AITA post and go crazy.  I am really just wondering on what Reddit thinks about the situation with my little cousin.",AITA for letting my mum go nuclear on her sisters family and causing collateral damage?,NTA
10xq0vd,"I (F30) recently had surgery on my jaw after a bad accident, and have unfortunately ended up with quite a lot of nerve damage. The surgeon said my nerve was quite close to the bone and the shattered pieces pierced the nerve in places. I cannot feel my entire bottom lip, my chin, and part of my cheek. It is unlikely that this will improve.My husband (M35) has been an absolute gem. He has been looking after everything and making sure that I am eating nutritious food. Due to the nerve damage, I am really struggling to eat normally and end up dribbling most liquid-y food despite that being pretty much all I can eat. Imagine trying to eat soup after getting those numbing injections at the dentist.My absolute favourite food in the world is a biscuit and a cup of tea, especially ginger nut biscuits. For those who don't know, ginger nuts are rock hard and are spiced with ginger, nutmeg, cinnamon, etc. I have been craving these like you won't believe, but my husband is not a baker. Instead, he asked my mom (F61) to make some for me especially as she knows how I like them.Unfortunately for me, even dipped in tea, the biscuits are too hard for my jaw. My husband suggested that we steam them. Obviously steamed biscuits do not have an amazing texture, but I felt like I could finally have something nice that wasn't liquid-based. They were also much easier to eat than liquids because I don't need much lip control.My mom came over yesterday and saw a steamed pile of biscuits. She initially could not figure out what had happened to them until my husband explained that this was the only way I can eat them. To say she hit the roof is an understatement.For reference, my mom was a professional baker and said that her craft has never been so disrespected. She said she will never make another thing for us if this is how we treat her food.It didn't even occur to me that this would be wrong, at least I am able to eat the biscuits and appreciate them, but mom texted me saying she will not be making my son's 5th birthday cake, as previously agreed, due to our behaviour. For any bakers (or non bakers with an opinion) out there, was this a baking sin and were we disrespectful?",AITA for steaming my mom's home baking and disrespecting her craft?,NTA
10xwhbb,"My mom and i have had a very tense relationship for the past few years. We argue constantly and never seem to go more than a week without having a fight. Its gotten worse now that imabout to move away for college. Mainly the arguments are about how she treated me while i was growing up and how what she did hurt me. It goes back and forth for hours and she doubles down on how im overreacting and how she tried her best to be the best mom she could be. Sometimes though she will say something that hurts really bad, and any time i try bringing it up she denies that it ever happened. Ive tried to let it go but it recently got to the point where i couldn’t stand it anymore. It became harder and harder to just sit and have her talk to me like i was going insane. She kept telling me i was making these “fabrications” and how i always try to make her the bad guy. Last time we argued i recorded it despite knowing my mom has trauma around being recorded. During that argument i remember clear as day that i told her trauma wasnt a contest and she responded by telling me that it was. I ended up walking away. Today we got into another argument about the samething and i explained to her how her treating my trauma like it was nothing just because she had it worse as a kid hurt me. She told me shes never done that. I quoted the last argument we had saying her i remember her telling me that trauma was a contest. She again denied it. I played her the video and she got quiet. She started pacing and acting really weird? Then she just snapped and started yelling at me saying that i treated our issues like a game. That i kept the recording so i could “win” and how i was awful for doing that. She told me i took what she said out of context and recorded me knowing she couldnt stand the idea of being recorded. I feel awful. She said that i kept it only so i could throw it back in her face. I didnt think she would react that badly to the recording. I only wanted to prove to her that she DID say that. I knew she wouldnt LIKE being recorded but i didnt realise she would be that upset. I dont know if i overstepped, i love my mom i didnt want to hurt her. I cant tell if im the reason we argue so much?  AITA?",AITA for recording a private conversation with my mom?,NTA
10xxwn6,"I have a couple cats and dogs, and need someone to care for them when we go out of town. Our neighbor down the street has been nice enough to do this the past 2-3 times we've been on vacation, just coming over to walk the dogs, clean the litter boxes, feed the cats, etc.A while ago she asked me to help out with her pets too while she goes out of town, which include, among other things, a snake and 5 ferrets. I was a bit apprehensive but came over for her to ""show me what I'd need to do.""Honestly I was pretty put off, having to deal with mice for the snake was gross and the ferret smell was unbearable, even to be in the room with them. I walked out of the room and said I'll think about it, but I'm not too sure if I'm the best person for the job.I called her back later after thinking about it to say I don't think I should do it and she might need to find someone else, and was surprised that she got pretty offended, and said ""this is way easier / less work than taking dogs on walks and everything I've done for you."" When I mentioned the smell she said ""oh come on, as if your dog's waste smells like roses? That's as bad as it gets but I had no problem carrying those bags around the block when you were out of town.""I didn't really expect she'd think my ""excuse"" was illigitimate or that I had an obligation to do something for her in return. AITA?tl;dr refusing to care for neighbor's pets while out of town even though she cares for mine","AITA for refusing to help with my neighbor's pets, even though she helps out with mine?",YTA
10xq5id,"I ordered a Jason X Über Jason mask from a guy on eBay. Somehow, there ended up being a shipping error and he sent me two of them, so he asked if I could return one. I have no problem doing so, since I only wanted one anyway, but I asked him if he could cover the price of the return shipping, since the cheapest shipping I could find from anyone was about 24 bucks, and that is kind of a large cost for me to have to pay out of pocket. He got pissed off and said I'm robbing him by expecting him to pay. Personally, I don't see why I should have to eat that expense since even though it may have been an honest mistake, it's still not my problem.",AITA for asking someone to cover return shipping for something that was sent to me in error?,NTA
10xuqgx," I’m (29F) getting married in august 2023, I heard from everyone around me that I need to start wedding dress shopping as soon as possible, seeing as it could take around 5 to 7 months (sometimes longer) for a dress to arrive after being ordered. So I decided to make appointments for the weekends and the Mondays (because my mom is also free on Monday) at different bridal boutiques. until I discovered that a specific store had my dream dress. I tried to make an early reservation but sadly they were fully booked on the weekends in the month of February and they were closed on Monday. If I were to go in march I would have been a bit too late. So I decide to make a reservation on a week day. My mom is a teacher, right from the start she thought I was overreacting to the whole wedding dress appointments. In her opinion I should wait till I “lose some weight” from now till July and then go dress shopping. I called and asked if she could make it on Wednesday maybe take a day off or leave a bit earlier than usual. She wasn’t up to it and told me to go with my mother-in-law. The moment I tried on the dress I video-called my mom. She stayed online with every other dress I tried on. Then I found the ONE! i was in love and I could instantly see myself wearing it on my wedding day. I ended up saying yes to the dress. My mom was not having it. She started crying saying ‘weren’t we planning on going to other boutiques to see other dresses’ and ‘how could I say yes to the dress without her there’ ‘how I should have made an appointment when she too was available’. Not to mention how the dress is too expensive, even though I’m the one paying for it . Mind you I tried to be considerate and make reservation that would work with her schedule but everything was full and every other day she wasn’t available. besides to go in march is just a huge risk because the dress might not come in time.  so after explaining to the woman at the shop that whole situation, she agreed to schedule another day to reenact the yes moment but with mom being there. However mom got mad and said “what’s the point you already chose a dress it’s not like my opinion matters.” I have no idea what to do, this should have been my moment to be happy and excited but it turned bitter because of my mom. Also her constant nagging about my weight and how I should lose 7 kg to look best. I would have made a scene if she was there in person, I held my tongue when she mentioned my weight during the call because I didn’t want to cause a scene. She keeps holding that one comment I made about how I’m going to look after myself, try eating better and exercising above my head the whole time I regret telling her about my plan at this point. And now she is hurt and doesn’t want to talk. Anyway, Reddit, am I the asshole for following my heart and saying yes to the dress when my mom was not physically with me ?",AITA for buying a wedding dress when my mom was not able to join me ?,NTA
10xrl9v,I live with 2 people and one of my flatmates often stays at her boyfriend’s. She asked if she could contribute less to the bills but I refused. She also went away for 2 weeks and then refused to pay for the bills for that time. We have prepayment meters for gas and electric. Water and broadband are included in the rent but we have to top up the electric and gas on our own. I think it’s unfair for her to get out of paying for the bills just because she’s not there. She wouldn’t ask the landlord to take £100 off her rent because she’s not there. She argues that she switches the heating off in her room when she’s not there and doesn’t use the electric and that the electric and gas go down slower from the meters when she’s not there but that’s not the point. We should split the bills equally. I know we only heat our rooms in the house but she chooses to spend time with her bf and doesn’t want to pay when she’s away for 2 weeks. I’m not sure what I should do. Am I in the wrong here?Edit: her name is on the contract with the landlord but it doesn’t state how we split the bills.Edit 2 because I don’t want to be unfair: she’s still paying for all the bills and rent even when she’s not in but she only refused to pay for those 2 weeks when she was away which makes me feel bad for wanting her to pay and I don’t know what to think anymore.,AITA for insisting my housemate pays for the bills when she’s not there?,NTA
10xsppy,"so i (19m) am asian and autistic. i don't really get social cues well and i can misunderstand things easily. since i was raised by a korean family they were mostly against me dating my black girlfriend kiara (18f). my parents eventually got over it but whenever my grandparents or aunts weren't around they wouldn't really try to interact with her. kiara is very dark skinned and has been bullied for her skin color. she has deep rooted insecurities and has opened up to how much she wants to lighten her skin or buy skincare products. i don't think she needs them because she is fine the way she is, but she really wants to lighten or bleach her skin. i eventually bought her skin lightening creams because i feel that is what she really wanted and maybe my family would treat her better. i don't want to feed into stereotypes or expectations but she has told me repeatedly that skin lightening products might make her happy. i gave it to her as an early vday present and she screamed at me calling me a racist and that im trying to hurt her. then she left my apartment and ended up crying on the way home. she gave me multiple voicemails about how she is reconsidering our relationship. i am upset and i didn't evaluate on the consequences and didn't realize she wasn't actually happy to receive these products. i don't know what to do now am i the asshole or did she overreact?",AITA for giving my girlfriend skin care?,NTA
10xtbg9,"I (24F) am 13 weeks pregnant with my first child. We currently live with my in laws while saving for a house.My BIL (30M) has an 18 month old daughter. He’s staying with my in-laws for a few days because he decided to rent out his condo for the super bowl to make extra cash. He’s in an on again off again relationship with the baby’s mother so currently they’re splitting custody. My BIL does nothing for his child. My MIL is expected to do all the child care when it’s his turn to have the baby. He throws tantrums when the food she cooks is too spicy or swears at her when the condo is a little messy. When I’m around he expects me to do the same. I had to feed the baby during my own pre-wedding dinner and my food went cold because BIL was arguing with baby momma on the phone and baby was hungry. Yesterday I was cooking dinner for my husband and made sure to cook extra for when his brother and baby came over. I mostly did it for the baby because he never brings adequate food for her. It was stuffed red peppers which the inside is ground beef, onion, garlic, crushed diced tomatoes, rice, and tomato paste. Very easy for the baby to eat just the filling as she eats solid foods very well. He comes in and starts chowing on the food while his baby is just standing there without dinner. I reminded him his daughter needs to eat and he orders my MIL to feed her. My MIL tried to get me to do it instead. I said no, I said the baby’s father can feed her and I was going to bed. I had to wake up early the next day. He started complaining that he just drove for 3 hours, and has a stomach ache. I told him he made the kid and so he can care for her. This isn’t my baby. I stormed into my room and went to bed but my husband thinks I should’ve just said no and walked away nicer but agrees with me that it’s not my job. He asked me not to clean up after his brother or cook for him because he’s not my responsibility. But to try to stay civil for in-laws sakes. AITA?",AITA for refusing to help with my niece?,NTA
10xsc72,"AITA for calling my mum selfish for suggesting we move closer to them with our new baby? Me (37m) and my wife (40f) have a difficult 4 month old baby – colicky, waking up every hour in the night etc, but fortunately no signs of serious illness. We are both exhausted and feel like we have tried everything.  My parents (Early 70’s) live 90 miles away. Fortunately, they are in good health and have been helping with childcare and other jobs for my brothers 6 year old baby since birth as they live close by. My mother and father in law live elsewhere in Europe, a 3 hour plane ride and 4 hour drive away, so it’s not practical for them to help us out frequently. They also have allot of animals that they would struggle to house for the duration of their visit. That said my mother in law did come over for 2 weeks at around the 3 month mark and it was a help.  My mum is quite passive aggressive and controlling so I have to keep her a little at arm’s length. During my normal weekly catchup with her, where she did her usual offering of ‘opinions’ – ‘You are using the wrong formula’ (We’ve tried others and she knows this), ‘You should use a dummy’ (We are trying every night but the baby isn’t taking it) she suggested we should move closer to them so they could help out with childcare. This struck a nerve with me as the thought of trying to move house and both of us changing jobs whilst we manage this difficult 4 month old seemed completely unrealistic. I told her that she was being selfish in suggesting we should have to move closer to them and why can’t they think about moving closer to us? It bothered me that just because my brother chose to live close by, we would have to as well in order to get any meaningful support for our baby.  Some additional clarifying info - My parents don’t work and are financially secure. Both me and my wife have chronic but not serious health conditions. This is adding to the stress I’m sure. - My parents currently visit us about once a month and stay for a few hours on the weekend. - My mum and wife don’t really get on but they keep things cordial when meeting in person.  - When my mother in law came to stay she slept in a single bed in a box room. When this same arrangement was offered to my mum she declined. - If the baby wasn’t so difficult, I’m sure this discussion would never have boiled over or even happened at all.",AITA for calling my mum selfish for suggesting we move closer to them with our new baby?,YTA
10xqptl,"In November, I was asked by my boss to apply for a job. It's at the same company I was already working at, but a different department/building. I applied for the job, but by the end of December had heard nothing back. I told my boss who chased it up and I was offered the job. I accepted and my new boss explained that I could start on Monday and they would transfer over the appropriate documents from my old department.2 weeks go by and I've heard nothing. I contact them and they explain there's a HR issue.  Another half a week goes by and finally HR get in touch to say that I have to reapply for my DBS and send them some docs before I start. I apply, and they request a scan of my birth certificate, degree, DBS and 2 references. I provide them all straight away. 3 days later I get a voicemail from HR saying (and I quote) ""I understand that you don't feel it's important to provide these documents, but it's for the safety of the children."" I call and explain I have already sent them. She checks her emails and sees that I have, then decides that she also needs a scan of my passport, license, proof of address and full employment history and I need to bring the docs in to be sighted ""by someone"". I send everything. The next day she sends an email where she's copied in my bosses, and marked URGENT!!! and then berated me for not providing the docs that she'd never asked for fast enough. She also had a go at me for not booking a meeting with my new boss to show him the documents, despite never telling me I needed to do this. She apparently couldn't accept my employment history as it was in a CV in a word doc, so it needed to be pasted into another word doc without the CV part with justifications for every 2 week gap. It's worth noting that every 2 week employment gap I've had since graduating has been a result of this specific HR rep fucking up my references or employment checks.Again, I do everything she asks. Show up for the meeting with the boss only to find the building empty. I eventually track them down the next day and they check all my documents. This morning I wake up to an email from HR rep saying that I'm being deliberately difficult and delaying my own start because I've provided a proof of address doc that isn't good enough. She said I instead needed to provide a ""credit card bill etc"". I don't have a credit card and ""etc"" doesn't really clarify shit.It's been nearly a month and I've been unable to work just because this rep keeps forgetting to ask me for things. I can excuse forgetfulness but she's so patronising, she keeps making it sound like it's my fault that she hasn't asked me for the right thing. When I applied for my first job here, I was late starting because of a ""problem with references"" that turned out to be her forgetting to ask a load of safeguarding questions.WIBTA if I contacted head office about her? I don't want to get her in trouble but the incompetence is just mind-blowing.",WIBTA for putting in a complaint about my HR rep?,NTA
10xsl48,"last week my dog had to get surgery because she had a lump on her toe they thought might be cancer, the x-rays alone costed $800. the surgery itself was $2,500 and we payed $120 for them to wrap it twice. while that is a lot of money i offered to help i had some money in savings that i willingly contributed. at some point yesterday my mother asked me if my credit card was in good standing and if she could use it to pay the vet bills. she has already ruined my credit once and i feel like i am still recovering from that because she spends more than she is able to pay back. i told her no, i don’t think she’ll pay me back in time and then it’s like i’m starting all over again with my credit score. as much as i want to help i just do not have a good feeling about letting her use it. on the other hand i love our dog to death and feel like i might be being selfish by not letting her use it. am i the asshole?edit- i realized i said my dog when in reality my parents adopted the dog 3 years ago so if it’s considered a family dog? and i’m 19 for anyone asking my age",AITA got not letting my mom use my credit card,NTA
10xx2r3,"My soon to be step mom and my dad are getting married soon. I have been waiting for them to get married since the day i found out they got engaged. I think my almost step mom is great and shes pretty good to my dad despite the amount of arguments and all the drama. However, my dad and i were talking and he mentioned i was going to be one of her bridesmaids. Cool, im excited af from the moment he told me. I however heard them in a big heated argument the other night about me. She was telling my dad that we both were being selfish and how this wedding was about her and not me. I just stood there shocked and didnt realize she opened the door until she was in my face yelling at me calling my a spoiled brat and saying im ruining her big day. I just want to be there for my dad and with im o his big day because he means the world to me, hes raised me by himself.  AITA?​Edit: This was after we already bought my bridesmaid dress, which she was the one who took me to go and get it, all while saying i was going to be a bridesmaid",AITA for wanting to be in my dads wedding?,NTA
10xzfoi,"I(23F) live with my fiance(23M) and my siblings(20M, 17F, and 15F). I have been taking care of my siblings since I was 8 years old, simply because we have shitty parents. Our mom is an abusive narcissist, and our dad is a passive aggressive drunk. I've been responsible for the lives of 3 children since I was a child. I love my siblings nonetheless.About 2 weeks ago, my brother came to me and begged me to let my mom come and stay with us for a few week because she had recently became homeless. I was reluctant, but reality is my brother pays bills here as well and even though I don't have any love for either of my parents, I would never strip away the love my siblings have for them. As you can imagine, living with an abusive narcissist always ends bad. Despite making things unbearable since the moment she came. But last night was the last straw for me. My fiance or I make dinner every single night, and we all sit down and have dinner together. I made dinner last night and told my mom that it was ready, she got up and got in my face about how ""she doesn't feel loved here, and how I'm a shitty child"" and saying things to my younger siblings, that I won't even repeat. There was a lot of back in forth, but ultimately I got back in her face and told her she is a shitty mother. Told her how I've raised her kids for her, reminded her how 13 year old me and my 11 year old brother would have steal food from the store to feed our sister because she  chose a man over us and abandoned us. Told her how I sacrificed my life because her and my dad were shit parents. It ultimately ended with a lot if back and forth and me telling her she had 3 days to get out. I'm morally struggling mostly because of some of the things I said to her, I wasn't trying to be an AH but just years of everything broke me down. AITA?Edit: My sisters feel the same as me when it comes to our parents(no love for them) however, my brother have always had a soft spot for our mom, which I of course don't fault him for, he's just a boy who wants his mothers love.",AITA telling mom she's a terrible mother and giving her a 3 day notice to move out?,NTA
10xwwd6,"I'll be quickIf I'm supposed to pick my sister up from school, I'm normally told half a day in advance so that I can make plans. So if she finishes at X:XX pm, I'll know I'm meant to pick her up that morning.So I assumed I'd be free this afternoon/evening, and so I made plans. My plans are for 4:30 (CAT), and so I was to leave. As I'm getting ready to leave (literally in the car) my mum calls and asks me to pick my sister up and I told her I had plans. She finishes at the same time as my commitments. Mum had a bit of a problem and so she won't be able to be on timeMum is pissed because I was being selfish and not picking her up. It is not that I'm the only other person who can, it's that I finished work the earliest on these days I feel selfish, but I had made plans. Idk what to do.AITA?Added info:My mum, aunt and myself are the only people who can drive at home. My aunt finished at around the same time, and I finished at 3.I told my mum of these plans I made as soon as I got off work, so these weren't plans she didn't know about",AITA for not picking my sister up from school,NTA
10xsktz,"So last friday i was working my normal shift from 2pm until 10pm, but around 8pm my boss was telling overybody we are staying until 12So if i would do that i would be at home around 1 amWhat pissed me off is not even asking but demanding that we should stay (i work at the warehouse) so after hard working day i clocked out ob 10pm and just went home because i was tired and my contract says that i have to do 38.5 hours weekly (which i did)On monday my boss was pissed and told my that for what i did i have to do 2 hours more on tusday and wednesday I was shocked and didnt understand why should i now do 4 hours of overtime.I know that i left some coworkers behind what made me think that i am AH, So AITA for not staying?",AITA for not doing overtime?,NTA
10xvy8s,"So my dad texted me and asked if I wanted to join him and stepmom (SM) on a cruise. Said I had 1 day to decide because they were ready to book. We ran the numbers and said okay! Purchased our room that day.The next day I ask him a few questions he says he doesn't know anything and SM planned it.. I ask her and she says to get with my step sister (SS) because her fiancés mom is planning it. Well long story short, it's not just us, it's SS fiancés WHOLE FAMILY (10+ people!). And I do not get along with SS at all, and her fiancé is not really my cup of tea either.I contacted SS for questions and she for some reason assumed i was broke and said things like ""financing is available so it'll be easier for you to afford"" ""we bought our alcohol package but you should wait till it's on sale so you can get one too"". At some point she asked about my tools/toolbox and I told her how I got my tools but my mom stole the 10k tool box. Her response was ""well they'll be able to find it when they repo it, if you have enough money I may know someone who can get it back"". (My tools have been paid off for years!)So today dad calls which is weird cuz we usually text. Then he asks if I have a minute to talk, he takes a long pause, and hands the phone to SM. She says : ""I don't think you realize how expensive this cruise is, did you do your research? It's not just a few hundred $$"" I explain, yes I'm aware. We have already paid off our room for 2k and upgraded to a balcony room. We have a 5k budget, and asked if she knows about hidden fees we don't know about? She laughs it off and says ""your so grown up now it's scary"" so I responded ""yeah, when you move out of state with no family and no support you tend to figure your shit out quickly."" She passed the phone to my dad and we basically just laughed it off and hung up. It bothers me so much because I was the scapegoat of moms family. I'm used to them assuming i'm a horrible person, but dad has never been that way. for him to call me and put her on the phone to say that seems disrespectful. She has my number, she could have called me I didn't need to be duped into speaking to her. I called my grandma to talk about it and get her 2 cents because this is out of character for dad. She didn't know about the cruise until I told her when we originally booked a few days ago. She brought it up to dad and he said ""well we know you've always wanted to go on a cruise and you probably can't afford it so we didn't want to rub it in your face"" At this point i feel like dad invited me under a time crunch because he knew id say no if i found out it was basically a reunion for SS, because i only wanted to go spend quality time with my dad who i see once maybe 2x a year. Dad and i have also had conversations about how he does not care for SS or her fiancé/his family so it makes sense he would trick me into going so he has company. I also feel like SM and SS do not want me to go, hence all the comments about $$.","WIBTA if i back out of a ""family vacation?""",NTA
10xxs3a,"My dad, Tom, and his wife Linda told me they'd give me gas money for the extra 2 hours per trip it was to go to their house to spend time with my aunt.  My aunt, Mabel, is 90 and is paying out of her pension to have a nurse take care of her, things like bathing and diaper changes. Tome works from home and takes extra long lunch breaks where he'll sit and scroll thru tiktok and not check on Mabel. Linda works 4 days a week and will completely ignore Mabel or tell Tom to go deal with whatever it is. They've been making me do all of their housework for the past 6 months and have not paid me anything at all.I told Tom I needed to switch days to catch up on homework as I'm a college student. He was okay with that but when the day came, Linda texted me repeatedly asking about where I was and why I wasn't there. I told her why and that Tom knew and she wouldn't leave me alone. She then told me to never come over again and that I'm a horrible niece and terrible daughter. I ignored her and texted Tom the screenshots. I told my mother what happened and she called Tom to yell at him. The bottom line that was reached was I'm not going to do their housework anymore unless they want to start paying me hourly. I haven't gone over since and decline all calls from Tom and Linda as well as ignore their texts. Additional context: I haven't lived with them for over 3 years due to the overwhelming amount of 'chores' they put on my causing stress induced panic attacks. I am financially independent and the gas I used for those trips ate about $200 of my savings. I've never gotten along with Linda, especially not after she chose my dress for her wedding (a pale golden bodice with a white tea length skirt) and poured red wine on me at the reception. I was 9. Call it a grudge if you will but is the ghosting deserved.",AITA for ignoring my dad's wife?,NTA
10xxjvj,"We are both elementary teachers and we have no kids so we are not in a pinch financially. Also relevant, my bf has taken 3 of his 10 contracted sick days this academic year and they don’t roll over.I woke up this morning to the sound of my boyfriend vomiting in the shower and I immediately told him he needed to take a sick day. He said he was feeling fine but I told him that he needs to take the day off to rest and if he doesn’t want to do that then he needs to at least deep clean the shower before I can use it this evening.I helped him make sub plans, submit an absence virtually, and notify his admin by lending him some resources I’ve used before and sending him my sick day email template, but he is acting like I am crazy for making him take a contracted day off when he is sick. AITA?",AITA for making my boyfriend take a sick day from work?,NTA
10xy2e3,"I (41M) recently started working at a great new job. It’s a very complex job that requires a lot of training. Though we are in the office, training happens in a virtual class. There’s no direct supervision. We do some hands-on work, but for most of the day we’re observing our trainer in the virtual classroom. Since day 1, one of my coworkers (20-something F) has been falling asleep during class. She was very obvious about it too, putting her head down on the desk. I heard her snoring on multiple occasions. A few days ago, I made a joke about it in our group chat and the trainer noticed it. I explained what was happening to the trainer in private chat. A few minutes later, one of the on-site supervisors walked in to catch her sleeping. She was called out of the room and talked to, then returned. She didn’t put her head down again but began sleeping with her head in her hands. Yesterday, the on-site supervisor came in and caught her sleeping again. Once again she was called out of the room and returned minutes later.This morning we found out that she will not be returning. Some of the people in training class are blaming me for telling on her. I’m of the opinion that she got herself fired and I did nothing wrong. So what do you guys think, AITA?",AITA for getting my coworker fired?,NTA
10xwsby,"Am I the a-hole for calling the cops on my ex? So little back story here bare with me here. So 2021 I started dating a close friend. We started dating in August and hung out all summer after work. Around October I moved in with him since it was easier for work.I worked all over the place doing small jobs for farmers. Around the end of November start of December things started to change. He got mad about certain things. Like me going out with friends or even going to my dads.He started getting angry and threatening me that he would leave me. Spring hit and it got busy again I was working at a farm so I was gone all hours.One evening in June we were coming home from dinner in town and he got upset that I was busy at work.That day is the first day he ever laid  his hands on me, and it wasn’t the last. Fast forward to December. I had finally broken up with him but we both agreed just to stay friends. I stayed in one room and him in another. Christmas I spent with my dads family and house sitting for friends while they went to Mexico. He was angry that I wasn’t going to be around and showed up at the house I was at and yelled for and hour and a half. A friend had messaged me saying he had a good job opportunity for me but I had to move 5 hours away from all my family and friends. I thought about it and asked for advice from friends and family and they all told me to go. So the Friday before new years I did. I loved the adventure and loved being away and on my own. But on the other hand my ex was pissed. I got angry calls and texts from him and his friends saying I’m horrible for leaving and they called me every name in the book. Around the end of January I had to go back home for a family members death and a birthday. I had a few things left at my ex’s house that I had asked for. He said he would bring it that night. When he showed up he was drunk, I walked out and didn’t say a word I just grabbed my stuff and threw it in the truck. He slammed his truck door shut and got in the drivers seat and sped off before I could say a word. He almost hit two different vehicles before he left the street. That’s when I made the choice to call the cops. I did it for his safety and everyone else’s that’s was on the road that night . He called me saying he was coming back because we needed to talk. When he showed up I told him that I don’t think he should be driving because he was drinking but he didn’t listen to me and got back in his truck and drove off. 20 minutes later I got call from him saying he rolled his truck, I didn’t know what to say. The cops never found him so they called me back and told I told them what had happened and what hospital his friends took him to. The next day I got a bunch of phones calls from his friends saying I shouldn’t have called the cops on him because he was fine but really he wasn’t. He broke his neck and is now in a halo for three months. I had blocked everyone’s number that he knew because they called me everyday to yell and blame me for his accident. So AITA?",AITA for calling the cops on my drunk ex?,NTA
10xu0bj,"I (f15) answered the door today. There was some guy at the door selling clothes and my mom (50) is shy around men (we have a video camera door bell) so I went with the classic “habalo no inglis” even though the guy was speaking Arabic, in an Arabic speaking country. I was just my brain’s auto pilot and I just forgot he wasn’t speaking English. So anyway my brother (m20) came over and got mad that I had answered and that I was stupid for saying that. Didn’t really matter to me since the guy was gone and even if what I said was weird I’ll never see him again, he doesn’t know my face, nor my name, not even my real voice. And if he did it’s not the end of the world. He ended up getting madder later in the day but I don’t get the big deal. So AITA?",AITA for answering the door?,NTA
10xyrmb,"It’s my first time on Reddit so sorry if some things don’t make sense. I (17F) got into an argument with my parents yesterday. For context, a few weeks ago, my mom’s sister-in-law asked me if I could go to prom with her son because he’s shy and doesn’t have a partner. Him and I are strangers, and I was weirded out but I told her I don’t know. A week later or so, we attended one of my auntie’s weddings and she was there again and she asked me once again. I sort of felt pressured and I thought I should just say yes so I agreed. Two days ago, her son messaged me and introduced himself. I was still uncertain about how to feel. Yesterday, I realized that I don’t really want to go with him. I told him that I was so sorry but I wanted to just go with my friends. He told me it was okay and he understood. This is where things go wrong.I told my parents I rejected him and they were shocked and started getting mad at me.   My mom was saying that I shouldn’t have and I should take it back. She said that I shouldn’t have rejected him when I said yes to his mom already. I told her that I felt pressured and that’s why I said yes in the first place. She told me that the mom wasn’t pressuring me but was just asking me. Then she started yelling at me and saying I was disrespectful and that I was a liar. We later on had an argument in my room. My mom told me that I shouldn’t have done that and that he was so shy and it took him so much to ask me and that he’s gonna tell his mom that I’m a liar. I told her it’s MY prom and I can decide if I want to go with him or not. She told me that I should have consulted with her first. I asked why because it’s my prom and she told me that she’s my mom so she should get a say in everything I do. I told her she doesn’t get a say in this and she interpreted as me saying she’s not important to me. She told me if I didn’t want to go with him I should have told her so she could make an excuse but I don’t see why what I did was even that big of a deal. It’s not like I called him names or told him something rude. I literally apologized and said I just wanted to go with my friends?? Is there a problem with that response?? We just kept arguing and then I told her that I didn’t want to talk to her anymore and before she left she sighed and told me I was a disappointment. Maybe this is where I might fall short, but I genuinely don’t think i did anything wrong. Today this morning before I went to school, my dad gave me a lecture that I was a disappointment and I need to apologize to my mom. He told me I have a short temper and that she’s my mom and I’m just a kid and I can’t do anything by myself so I need to consult with my mom. He said a bunch of other things but I just zoned out. I don’t talk back much anymore cus he never listens to me so I just zoned out after he started to repeat things. So AITA?",AITA for rejecting my cousin-in-law to go to prom even tho I said yes to his mom?,NTA
10xt60l,"My friend is having her birthday party at my house which I share with my 5 other roommates. It’s happening this Saturday and she wanted me to check in with her on who I wanted to invite. The theme is supposed to be red carpet fancy dressed and cocktails themed. I checked in with her and she approved everyone I listed except one for odd reasons as the individual is “weird” and may not be able to wear a fancy outfit and be “fancy” in general. But I mean, it’s my own damn house right?EDIT: ADDITIONAL CONTEXTThe decision to host the party at our house was made without me. In hindsight I would have been fine with hosting if I could just invite a few people of my choice. The people on my plus list were my HS BFF, his GF, the “weird” friend, and let’s call the third friend the gamer friend. The gamer friend also doesn’t want to go unless the “weird” friend can go as well. One of my other roommates has plans to bring 4-5 more people who were not invited and likely will not be chewed up for it as he is not nearly as close to everyone in the group as me. The “weird” friend and birthday girl seemed to have a great interaction a couple weeks ago where they hugged and said hi. My other friends think she may have been acting fake and judge mental for some reason.Thoughts? Perhaps the last roommate is a bigger asshole than I if anything?",AITA for having people over when there’s a private birthday party?,YTA
10xxp44,"My fil moved in with us over a year ago as he has suffered from a stroke, and was not living in the best circumstances. He was an addict the majority of his life and required somewhere to stay that allowed him to not be in bad situations. We moved to a larger home with a gas fireplace and he pays a base amount (fairly cheap) with everything included. I make dinner every night for him and ensure he has all of his favorite foods and easy accessible meals. I pay for the daily required items, toilet paper, cleaning supplies, laundry detergent etc. (ALL OF IT) He is fully capable and is recovered from his stroke.There is much more I can add to this but I am not going to get into detail based on behavioural tendencies etc. The ISSUE. His living space has a gas fireplace, my bill has TRIPLED/ quadrupled over the winter months and I have brought this to his attention (multiple times) and made it clear that I would like for him to use an electrical block heater, or other methods to warm himself up rather than the fireplace. I bought him a heated blanket for night and for lounging, and then was frustrated that he’s expecting me to buy him yet another thing, when he is capable of buying things himself. (I feel as if I am being taken advantage of) Yesterday I go downstairs and the fireplace is on again, at this point I am so fed up, so I approach the situation very firmly and say, have you looked into space heaters. I feel disrespected by you at the mere fact that you have blatantly ignored my request multiple times to stop using as it is so expensive. He then starts to project blame and raise his  voice as me , in which I request for him not to raise his voice at me. He then storms off and is messaging my husband, how unreasonable I am and how I have no right to be upset. Which I found even more insulting. I know I’m not the asshole (so I think)",AITA for firmly telling my fil to stop using the gas fireplace.,NTA
10xqgkn,"This evening my girlfriend and I went to a concert in a very bad part of downtown known for homelessness, drug use and etc. It was her idea to go to this concert and we both knew that this concert was in a bad part of town but she wanted to go anyway. The parking garage was unfortunately a few blocks away from the concert venue so after we parked our car, we had to walk a few blocks through the bad part of town to make our way to the concert.Immediately once we walked out of the parking garage, the sidewalk was lined with tents, homeless people, druggies and sketchy people who looked like they were up to no good. I advised to walk on the street (where the cars drive) instead of the sidewalk to avoid being so close to the tents and sketchy people who lined the sidewalk. This way we would distance ourselves a little bit in case someone tried to attack us. I understand that pedestrians should stay on the sidewalk but given this was a pretty dangerous hood, I felt more safe not being on the sidewalk and keeping my distance from the tents/homeless/druggies who were loitering on the sidewalk. I walked on the street but she continued to walk on the sidewalk.When we turned the block we luckily encountered a group of people who were dressed in the same concert attire that we were going to so I knew they were fellow concert goers who would be heading in the same direction. I intentionally matched my walking pace with this group so as to walk with them together as a group to the concert venue to be more safe in case anything were to happen or if anyone tried to mug/attack us. My girlfriend on the other hand, somehow decided to walk at a faster pace with quite some distance ahead of us. She turned back to see me with the group and I signaled to her to slow her pace and walk with us but she continued walking at her own pace by herself.  She was walking in front of me (and the group) and as she walked past a homeless man, I was able to observe from behind that the homeless man was even eyeing her purse as she walked past him. However she did not notice it.Luckily we made it to the concert venue and back unscathed but on the drive home I called her out on not being street smart. I highlighted several red flags to her but she took offense to it saying that she was an adult and could take care of herself. She didn't want to hear it. I tried to explain to her that I'm just trying to teach her to be street smart and it doesn't hurt to be cautious. People are known to get hurt/attacked/mugged in that neighborhood and we were in a potentially very dangerous situation yet she seemed so nonchalant about it. I didn't want to push it further and ended the conversation there but at the same time I feel like I was not getting my point across to her. AITA for calling my girlfriend out on not being street smart enough?",AITA for calling my girlfriend out on not being street smart,YTA
10xurl8,"TLDR: I offered to take care of two cats for six months but it caused too much trouble (stuff being broken, arguments between me and my husband) so i aked my friend to find other accomodations. She 'forced' her mom to take them in but now is very angry and demands i apologize to her and her boyfriend.So one of my dear friends (27F) has two young cats who are like children to her. She and her boyfriend (27M) are visiting his family abroad for 6 months. I (27F) am a major people pleaser, recently i started therapy to work on this and set more boundaries. Last summer i married and my husband (37M) is very kind but he is making me more aware of how i forget myself/him trying to help other people. I knew my friend was very worried about where her cats could go while she was traveling so i offered to take them in for 6 months.However neither me nor my husband are cat lovers, we did take a cat in for 2 months last year to help another firend out. However this was a very old/easy cat, still it caused issues for us because of the work that comes with owning a cat. I fucked up by not consulting my husband but directly offering to take in the cat once my friend shared her worries for where they could go. We bought our house this summer and are still busy renovating, also we have 2 kids in the house and very busy schedules as is. Having the cats has been a total nightmare; cat hair is everywhere, they ruined the couch/chairs and recently our new curtains, they kicked over many plants/stuff, they chew on the kids toys, they puke regularly which ruinied a carpet and the stains are hard to get out of out wooden floors. Also the food they get is so stinky, let alone cleaning the cat litter (they shit/pee SO MUCH). I am aware my house is not very cat proof, but i am not willing to make it cat proof because i do not even like the cats. Me and my hushand never had a lot of arguments but we would argue over the cats.I tried sharing this with my friend but she was very dissapointed and felt i was complaining and this caused her sleepless nights. Eventually i messaged her asking her to please find other accomodations. She previously stated there was no one else but when i pressed she said she could 'force' her mom to take them in. So her mom came to pick them up and i feel relieved, we have our home back! But now my friend is super cold and mad, she feels i have not apologized enough.I feel i am the asshole because i wanted to help her so bad i offered to take them in not realizing the amount of work and impact on our house. I totally underestimated this and have stated that as well as expressing how bad i feel for causing them stress. However i do not feel i need to apologize more because in the end the cats are her responsibility? Honestly i feel she should thank me for the 3 months i did take care of her cats?So Reddit: Am i the asshole?EDIT: I know i fucked up by taking in the cats without doing proper research and not consulting my husband enough. I asked my friend to think about a plan B because of the stress it was causing us. She found other arrangements. I understand her being upset about the situation, i am too upset about it and realize my mistake. I do not understand why i am the asshole for bringing up that the cats are causing these problems and why i should say sorry more then i already did. I understand from the many responses i am the asshole in every way. I have apologized again to my friend. Also i will never offer again to take in someone's pet for more than a few days. People are not talking enough about how much responsibility comes with pets, and that them destroying stuff is part of the deal? I just wanted to help a friend out. ",AITA For not saying sorry for rehoming my friends cats?,YTA
10xz5xo,"F29 have 2 kids, F(1yo) and F(2mo). My sister is in her 40s and with an “man” in his 40s. He is the baby dad of her oldest. They didn’t work out due to him being an drug addict and an alcoholic. She moved on to marry her now ex husband and have an kid with him. After the split with her ex husband she went looking for the BD of her oldest. We’ll call him Bob, she found him. He was homeless, still addicted to drugs, still addicted to alcohol, no job, and no car. She brought him into the house we both was contributing to. Everything was fine until he started eating everything, stuff came up missing (including medicine), and he started becoming aggressive to me and my daughter (I hadn’t had my second one yet). I had got in contact with my dad to help me move to my friend’s house who had offer me a place to stay until I found something. Instead he offered me to take over my grandpa’s house (my grandpa had passed a few months prior and left the house to my uncle). I took the offer bc it’s an nice 3 bed 2 bath with an huge yard and an country setting. My dad is currently staying with us for a few months so I can get an savings up and get an car (my BD is withholding the car I did have). I’m currently using my dads car. My sister had called and I was talking about how we both had court on the same day. I guess I was on speaker bc Bob piped in from the background and said “No you are not giving her an ride and she needs to find one.” Mind you I haven’t asked her for an ride since we shared the house bc I’ve been using my dads car. So she hurried up and hung up before I could confront them. I messaged her saying it’s bull crap she lets him do that when I still continue to allow her to have the bills in my name. She has bills up in the thousands and couldn’t get them on in her name. Her credit is shot as well. I went on to tell her she’s dating an bum that’s only with her bc he doesn’t want to be homeless and starve to death. That he served no purpose bc he takes her money and pisses in jugs and let’s them lay by the bed. I said I was embarrassed for her bc she goes around bragging about an engagement ring he brought with her money and then took the proposal back saying he was drunk. He pays for dates and etc. with her money. I asked her what does Bob really have and going for him besides addiction. I have people telling me I’m an asshole for doing this to them and I need to apologize. I don’t think I was being an asshole cause nobody will speak up and tell her that she needs to leave him. So AITA?Edit: Nothing I’ve done has hurt her. She’s ignored everything about Bob and she’s been allowed to see the kids when Bob isn’t around. She’s perfectly fine.",AITA for telling my sister I’m embarrassed for her and refusing to allow my kids around her bf?,NTA
10xzf31,"Throwaway.I (22m) work at a sandwich shop. My coworker Chris (27m) started working there a few months ago after he was laid off from his last job. It really has sucked for him- He loved that job and after losing it he had to delay his wedding and move back in with his dad. When we hired him, my boss at the time made it clear that he was going to try and promote him first due to the situation, and Chris got his promotion and has been working as a shift supervisor for a few months while he looks for a new role.I get Chris is really bummed about the whole situation, it's very frustrating, but he has a temper. When something sets him off, he tends to blow up a little. Usually it's pretty private, but I've heard him get really short with other people we work with.Last week, I was closing up shop with him, and a woman came in about 10 minutes before closing. Chris was taking her order and I heard him start ripping into her. She walked out looking like she was about to cry and Chris was sneering. I asked him what that was all about, and then he started yelling at me about how he's ""the manager"" and I ""don't get to tell him what to do.""He stomped back to the office, and I got to work doing some cleaning, when I felt his hand on my shoulder turning me around. He got in my face and said ""You understand me, I'm serious! Don't ever tell me how to do my job!"" I told him firmly that he needed to get his hands off of me or I would call the cops, and immediately he softened up, and the whole rest of our shift he was apologizing and we were talking. He really seemed sincere, but the fact that he put his hand on me crossed a line.As soon as I left, I called our general manager and told him what happened. Over the next few days, I noticed Chris was not on the schedule. Yesterday morning, I came in to find out they came very close to firing Chris altogether, but ended up just demoting him to part-time.While what he did wasn't really excusable, I sort of feel like a jerk because of his situation and the fact that he apologized to me. Even so, I want to feel safe at work, and when he put his hand on me and got in my face, I didn't.Did I go too far?",AITA I reported a coworker and caused him to lose his promotion,NTA
10xr5ai,"So I’m (26) in a foreign country with my sister (29), we’re on our way to the airport. She lets me figure out the way there with public transport. I tell her the way and she seems okay with that. When we’re switching from one train to the other I walk in front of her to get to the right platform, I look behind me and she’s going to the bus stop. I turn around and run after her and say ‘we’re not going on a bus rn’, she says ‘how was I supposed to know’, which fair enough okay. I say, ‘you could just trust me enough to walk the same way I did.’ She gets angry, asks me what’s wrong with me and says I need to grow up (I guess for not being more transparent about the route?).We get on the train. She sits away from me and gets off two stops later and goes with a different form of transportation. Tells me about this after already getting off.So now I am on my way to the airport alone in a foreign country.Genuinely asking, am I the asshole? Regardless, I’m not feeling good about this. I’m always used to being the one apologizing when she gets angry, but this time I don’t want to unless I really was in the wrong.",AITA: left alone in a foreign country,NTA
10xukus,"I’m currently in trouble and want to know if I was wrong. My friends said to ask Reddit so here I am.I’m 21 and my 25 y/o brother got married to his girlfriend of 4 years. I’m intrigued by my new SIL because she doesn’t culturally act in the same manner as my family or follow the same “rules” (not a culture from an ethnicity standpoint, ask me questions if you’re confused).My father was/is very strict and we were to follow rules without question. My SIL does whatever she wants or feels like doing. According to her, she grew up in a household run by an ironfist and was told what she could and couldn’t do and after being on her own, she doesn’t let anyone tell her what she can/should or cannot/should not do if it’s not something she wants to do nor something she HAS to do. For the record, I do like my SIL.For the most part, my family gets along with her but my dad always makes “suggestions” of things she should do (his way of telling her what to do to his preference) but she’ll either say she’ll think about (her way of saying no but thanks) or outright say no (her way of saying not a snowball’s chance in hell). I can tell this upsets my dad but there’s nothing he can do about it.The latest incident was my brother and SIL throwing a party and our family came, some with their kids (important). My SIL likes to have a Moscow Mule at social events and this was the conversation.D: You shouldn’t be drinking with the kids around.  SIL: \*looks around\* There are no kids.  D: \*face gets red\* you know what I mean.  SIL: In front of the kids?  D: \*nods head\*  SIL: Again, I’m not seeing a child in sight.  D: You shouldn’t be drunk in front of them.  SIL: I have the host this party so I’m not getting drunk but one drink isn’t going to ruin the night. Besides, the kids think this is water.  D: But still...  SIL: \*looks at my dad\* Okay! \*proceeds to drink as if the conversation didn’t happen and walks away\*My dad has been angry ever since and when I was at their house completing a DIY project for them, I overheard them talking about SIL. For the record, they came into the area I was working in so I heard everything. I told them that dad is only mad b/c he can’t get SIL to act how he wants her to and that he can’t expect everyone to follow his “rules.”He told me to butt out.I can answer questions if you need more info.",AITA For Chiming In About my SIL?,NTA
10xy5qe,I'm 26(M) my girlfriend is 22(f) We've been together for a little over a year and she has constantly told me I'm her soulmate and she's so in love with me and all that good jazz. So that's cool. However recently we've been working more and hanging out less to save for a house. We agreed on going to the gym and stopping drinking to improve our health and our relationship. The last two nights in a row she has driven her recently single friend who is actively having sex with multiple people to a dick appointment. She says he doesn't have a room mate and she just sits there and smokes his weed while her friend hooks up with him. I asked her if I could come hang out with them and she said I couldn't come inside because the guy said no. She said I'm embarrassing and she isn't doing anything wrong but I have a hard time believing this as her friend texts my buddy daily about threesomes and all the dirty shit she wants while she's in another dudes bed. I called and caused a scene and may have texted her the address of the dudes house where she kept going and she left immediately after. Am I the overprotective asshole or am I right for making her leave knowing she lied about going and lied about drinking at another dudes house. EDIT: I should probably add for reader context that we are not a typical couple. We live a faster lifestyle than most “normal” people and we’re both equally possessive of one another because of the shit we’ve been through together in our lifestyle. UPDATE: We had a conversation regarding last nights events and she assured me not to worry but knew she was in the wrong for going with her friend to a dick appointment and said that she would’ve reacted the same if the roles were reversed.  We worked it out and came to an agreement.,AITA for “ruining” my GF’s night w/ a friend?,NTA
10xyrlk,"  I (26F) have been living in a 5 bedroom, 2 bathroom apartment since April 2020. My current roommates are Jada (28F), Daniela (26F), Amaya (20F) and Jasmine (20F).Some background:I bought like 5 packs of bag clips for the apartment but they kept getting lost so I decided to keep 5 bag clips for myself in my room and left the rest in the kitchen. I never told anyone I did this and no one has ever asked me for them.We used to keep toilet paper in both bathrooms but then we found out Amaya was stealing it and keeping it in her room for her so we decided for everyone to keep toilet paper in their rooms. However, Amaya decided to start using the paper towel I would buy for the apartment as toilet paper and this clogged up the drains and sewage and feces ended up coming out of the shower in the basement bathroom. The super refused to clean it up so I ended up cleaning it. So I decided to stop buying paper towel for the apartment. I made a whole other post on this but basically 3 of my roommates (Jada, Amaya and Jasmine) are really behind on paying me their parts of the electric and internet bills. I also let Jasmine borrow $100 from me. I have also given her rolls of toilet paper and bought toilet paper for her before.The situation:Last month, when I was at work Jasmine texted me that she and Daniela were talking and that I should start buying stuff for the apartment again and they will split the costs with me. This annoyed me because Jasmine already owes me a lot of money and I don't know why I have to be the one to do this. I ignored the text. Then when I got home, Jasmine started to ask about using my bag clips that were on my salad bags. I snapped because I was annoyed already from earlier and I yelled ""those are my bag clips."" She tried saying ""let me explain."" I yelled again ""those are my bag clips."" She tried saying again ""let me explain."" I yelled again ""those are my bag clips."" She finally stopped and walked away. Then later on I came back into the kitchen and I see Jasmine writing her name on a bag clip and I said that's my bag clip and she said no this one is mine and showed it to me and put in on her salad bag.Later she texted me saying I disrespected her and if all the bag clips in the house are mine I should tell everyone to get them off their stuff. I ignored the text. She texted again saying she needs answers and if I have a problem with her that I should tell her and that how I acted was unacceptable. I decided to text back that I didn't have a problem with her and that I keep 5 bag clips in my room for myself and the rest in the kitchen. She replied back that I didn't have to get in her face and if I feel like I didn't do anything wrong then she feels real bad for me. This really pissed me off since I have done a lot for her. We haven't really spoken since until recently when I told everyone I am not paying the internet and electric bill until everyone pays what they owe. Again I have another post about what happened with that",AITA for yelling at my roommate about bag clips?,ESH
10xzqm7,"Last weekend, my boyfriend - who's a year older - and I were casually shopping at the mall when he told me that he has something important to mention. I looked at him with a worried expression as he brushes my forearm and says: ""(His girl best friend's name) asked me to be her date for prom."" I look at him even more confused because she has a bunch of friends that she could go with and she knows my boyfriend's already taken. So I say: ""I hope she'll find someone before prom."" But he looks at me with guilty eyes and that's when I think I get the *important thing* he wanted to tell me. I ask him what was his answer, and he explains that he told her *yes*. Since my prom is next year, he could still be my date and it will still be perfect like I wanted. However, his best friend would be alone and sad, since they've known each other for a long time they know it would be only ""friendly"". I was fuming, I understand that he wants her to have a perfect prom, but I'm his girlfriend and it would be so awkward for him to be her date. I left the mall without him because I needed time to think. It hurts me because I try to understand each point of view, but it doesn't sound fair to me. We haven't talked since that conversation, he did try to reach me but I told him to have a conversation with his best friend first explaining that he wouldn't go with her, but he says it's unfair to her. AITA for using the silent treatment towards my boyfriend until he refuses his girl best friend invitation?",AITA for using the silent treatment towards my boyfriend?,YTA
10xqebm,"My brother is 40. He's always made some questionable decisions regarding himself and his future. He wanted to become a teacher for years but followed a girlfriend at the time to a college she wanted and they didn't offer the degree he needed/had planned to get. So he did 4 years of a few different classes and went into something else. Long before he graduated he and the girlfriend were already done but he didn't want to uproot again.In his mid 20s he took a job in a HCOL area and decided to live in a LCOL area. It was a three hour drive from his house to the job each way and he made himself sick with the long hours he kept there (started at like 8am and finished around 7pm). Literally ended up in the hospital to make it work instead of realizing he hadn't thought it all through and got a job that was closer, or found a way to move closer to the job.He went all in on a woman a few years later and even though she told him she wanted nothing serious, he believed she might still return his feelings. He ended up heartbroken.Now he's married, has been for almost two years. His wife is awesome. But my brother has always wanted to be a father. His wife has a 20 year old son already. She has always been pretty open about her son being her baby and being the only kid she wants. My brother knew this when he married her. But he still asked her about it a couple of months ago and he was so upset to find out she isn't interested in having kids with him. He's been very down ever since. He spoke to some of our other siblings about it. They admitted to me that they tried to encourage him not to give up the dream and that he could never have known she'd feel that way once they were married and settled as a couple. He started to talk to me about it after that and told me it was such a mess and how did he end up in his position. I told him it was because he never thinks things through. That he's like a kid in that way, and he needs to grow up. He started to argue but I told him that he married someone who didn't want the same things out of life, and instead of being honest, he decided to hold back what he wanted, marry her anyway, and then try to find out how he could make it work and still get what he wants. I told him life doesn't work that way and it's not fair to push her. I also made it clear to him that she's not wrong for not wanting another child. He told me I was being insensitive and how dare I talk to him about not thinking things through when I have his dream (I became a mom for the first time last year). He left and said I would never get it and was an unsupportive sister.AITA?",AITA for calling my brother he never thinks things through and needs to grow up?,NTA
10xzi49,"My girlfriend uses my sister's room as an office as my sister is away. I asked her not to eat chocolates in there as we already have an ant problem in the house, and it isnt my room to mess up. When she refused to let me bring the chocolate outside to the pantry, I told her ""This isnt a big ask. Stop being unreasonable"". Now she is upset at me and has asked me to leave her alone. AITA? PS if there was a way I could have handled this better, please do share",AITA for asking my girlfriend not to eat candy in the bedroom,NTA
10xx4r5,"My mom got a new phone yesterday which she was setting up, tones and all. My mom puts quite some thought into it... Surprisingly a lot of it.I went to sleep (or try at least as I only got to sleep until 1 am) while my mom kept setting up her phone as I helped her with some stuff.I woke up and before starting my shift (bad morning as power went out and had to set everything over which made me start work late), and I heard a certain beeping that was quite similar to the one from an old chat tool notif we used to use.This sound causes to start feeling a bit anxious or to get in high alert mode, makes me nervous. Just kinda like trauma from work.I thought I was just imagining the sound (happens more often that I'd like to) but I kept hearing it, so I knew it was my mom's phone.Usually is kind of a traditional to talk to my mom before she leaves to work, so I asked her if she could change the ringtone for her message.My mom immediately flipped off saying ""OH FOR GOD'S SAKE NO!"" as if I was bothering her. I was not very well rested (or felt like it), so I also flipped off and screamed at her I was just asking for it because the tone was making me nervous. She said I shouldn't be bothered because at the end she's not in the apartment 24/7 as she goes to workNot sure how it went next but at the end after a short back and forth I just left her room and she just said ""the world ALWAYS has to adapt to you"". Mind I have soooooommmmeeee way of anxiety, depression and other stuff that apparently I have that didn't knew I had. My mom meant this because usually I try to do or not do stuff in order to bot feel as anxious or bad, and my mom is imo not what I'd describe as understanding.I just got angry because I just requested for a change because that thing will make me crazy... My mom texts a damn lot and that thing sounds quite often. That thing makes me anxious as hell.I just feel I flipped off for a minor thing and shouldn't just make a big fuzz out of it, and besides I'm not well rested (ik is not an excuse just an explanation)AITA?EDIT: ok, after lots of the comments here I think I did understand the point of what the problem was. Being honest that whole conversation just went off board because I asked her nicely and she bursted out immediately, but I do admit everyone is right. I'd have to learn to deal with it and not force people to do stuff just to make me comfortable. So ok, I accept IATA in this situation, handled it very poorly due to stress and lack of sleep. I will apologize as it's fair to do",AITA for losing to my mom because she didn't change her message ringtone?,YTA
10xvc34,"I (14M) have been sick the past week. I have stayed home from school every day because 1. I feel shitty, 2. I don't want to get others sick, 3. I thnk it's rude to go to school or work while sick, because not only can others get sick, they can feel uncomfortable, they have to hear you sniffling and coughing all day, stuff like that.My dad has been getting on my ass since yesterday about going to school. I'm against the idea since I'm still sick. I've been recovering a bit, but I'm still not 100%.My dad says since I can play video games I should be able to go to school, and that I''m better.So, am I in the wrong here for not going?EDIT: I do take some time throughout each day to catch up on schoolwork that I understand and can do.",AITA for staying home while being sick?,NTA
10xx1h5,"Aitah for telling my friend about my own experience about anxiety?I have a friend, s. She called me the other day telling me she was stressed/ anxious about an exams she was going to have and told me to tell me what I know about it since “I’m always stressed” (her words) I have autism and before I’ve even gotten to the metro I’ve already had 5 different stress factors etc etc. and this also causes me to not really understand some social situations thus we I need help I told her that there’s a certain difference between stress and anxiety and that there’s also good and negative stress. It’s good to have some stress for an exams since it make you focus better I then told her that I have 3 alarms through out the night to wake me up so I know im still alive. I often think about how I might have an inner leading I don’t know about or a tumor etc etc And because of that I wake up to see that im still living because I have severe separation anxiety from the ones I love and don’t want to go away alone She started to yell at me saying that I make everything about myself and that im a weirdo who shouldn’t be aloud to live freely Im thinking about might talking to her mom since if she talks to me like that she might do it to other people and I don’t think it’s fair to them Aitah?",AITA for telling my friend my own experience with anxiety after she told me Hers,NTA
10xwzof,The other day I started having a heath issue that could be a sign of pregnancy (probably not) Edit: it is very very very unlikely that I am pregnant I didn’t want to tell my boyfriend because he has a history of letting his anxiety get the better of him but recently he has asking me to be more open with him so I told him. He was ok for a few hours and then started going down the rabbit hole. This is because he knows I am very much against abortion for myself. We have been together for 8 years and he is 9 months away from being a sworn in Lawyer. I have a decent job. It would be hard but we are not desperate teenagers. We could handle it. If he doesn’t want to handle it I told him I would handle it on my own. That freaked him out even more because he doesn’t want to break up.I’m annoyed at him because I am dealing with a  new and scary heath condition and need support right now. He asked me to open up more and trust that he would act appropriately. I tried and he kept me up till 2am with his anxiety. Here’s where I may be the asshole. Last night I got so annoyed I went to sleep on the couch. I know this makes him very upset but I just wanted to go to bed. He came out and talked me into coming back to bed. Then I went back to the couch because he made a stupid comment. I did come back to bed eventually but I feel bad for being intentionally mean to him.I know he can’t help his anxiety and today he is much better but it’s very obviously forced. I appreciate that he’s trying though. We will know if I am pregnant later today. TLDR I don’t want to confront my boyfriend about my heath issue that has a small possibility of me being pregnant.,AITA for refusing to deal with my boyfriends anxiety about my health issue?,NTA
10xxz1x,"I (30f) found our little over a year ago that I was blocked on Facebook by my stepmom who has been in my life since I was 8. At first I didn’t think much of it for months. I thought maybe she just deleted Facebook. I asked my siblings and come to find out I was the only one blocked. Some back story though, I came out about two years ago and started dated my ex girlfriend. My family is very religious and I did distance myself from them. So fast forward to now, after I confronted the fact that I was blocked. I was never given a real reason as so it. My siblings thought it was because my ex posted on my Facebook to much, which if anything that was cute quotes or a picture of us. Yesterday was my birthday and my step mom did not reach out but did tell my twin brother happy birthday. That bothered me so I reach out to my dad and basically called them out and starting a fight over it. AITA for shutting my family off for being blocked on Facebook?",AITA for not having much to do with my Father for about a year?,NTA
10xyy1f,"Me (23F), my boyfriend (23M), and our son (3mo) were getting ready to go visit my dad and his wife for dinner. My dad calls me while my boyfriend is giving our son a bath to tell me to make sure I bundle him up because it’s cold outside. (It’s 27 degrees outside… no fucking shit I’m gonna bundle him up lol). So, I respond with the most deadpan face and say “nah I think he’d be more comfortable in a  tank and shorts”. My boyfriend laughs from the bathroom but my father doesn’t find my response amusing. He said I was being smart and he was just trying to look out for his grandson. I said “I understand where you’re coming from but do you think I’m an idiot or something? Why would I not bundle him up?” He said that I’m a first time mom and he just wanted to be sure. Mind you, I’ve worked with kids in the past and I have plenty of little cousins and a niece and nephew. I’m not unfamiliar with babies. So I politely said thank you for looking out but please don’t question my intelligence (this hit him hard because he would constantly say this to me as a child lol). He rolled his eyes, scoffed and hung up. When we got there, he opened the door for us and saw my son bundled up and wrapped in a warm blanket and said “So you took my advice, huh?”. I said, “no, I’m just not an idiot.” Dinner was a little awkward at first but we moved past it kind of quickly and had a relatively good night. I told my mom what happened and she said I was being disrespectful and could’ve just said okay because he’s my elder and kept it pushing. So, AITA for getting smart with my dad?TLDR: My dad told me to bundle up my 3 month old son in 27 degree weather and I said I would take him out in a tank and shorts instead.",AITA for “getting smart” with my dad?,NTA
10xwkfq,"i dont typically go to mcdonalds but i think ill likely not be going to this specific one for a while after this.i parked my car and wanted to order inside and i saw it was closed and only taking drive thru orders. so i proceeded to go thru the drive thru and waited about 10 minutes to get to the speaker, then waited at the speaker for about 5 minutes. i was not told anything in those 5 minutes like hey, ill be with you in a minute or can you give me some time. so at this point i said to myself: ill just pull up and they can take my order there and then i can pull into a spot and they can bring my food out (it wasnt going to be a big order, just a sandwich and a drink.). i waited another 10 minutes to get to the window. i told them that i hadn't ordered yet and they looked at me confused. they left for about 2 minutes and came back and said to me, im sorry, we are short staffed, you'll have to pull thru the drive thru again.(this part im realizing im a bit of an asshole for) i then flipped the bird.now i want to clarify that i get that places are short staffed but if you dont have the employees to operate a restaurant properly and efficiently; then don't do so. ive worked in this position before (not at a McDonalds but another place). AITA?",AITA for waiting in line for 30 minutes for nothing,YTA
10xyjlr,"TLDR: My family is forcing me to let my brother and his sons move into my place for cheap even though he owes me 5000$ and broke my rules last time and he is expecting 4 hours of free childcare a day. AITA for wanting to say no?My (24M) brother (28M) has shared custody of his sons (5 & 6) with his ex, he has them one week on one week off. My brother dates a lot of people and usually what happens is they break up after 1-2 yrs of dating.This has happened four times since the kids' mom and everytime he introduces his new gf to his kids after just a few weeks and they move in together right away. As you can imagine this is super hard on everyone, the family, my brother and especially his sons.2 years ago my brother broke up with his gf of 2 years and couldn't afford rent so I offered him to move into my basement as I'm renting a 2 storey house, I offered him an all inclusive, cheap rent, but I gave him strict rules bc I don't like living with other people and never wanted a roommate. Within the first few weeks all the rules had been broken. Also, his sons kept coming upstairs for a few hours everyday.So I raised his rent (it was still less than 1/3 of what I  was playing for the whole place) my parents went off on me and told me to cut him some slack. I insisted he start looking for his own place. He said he was ok with the rent increase and he'd do better with the rules, he wanted to stay.2 weeks later, (about a month after moving in) he had his new girlfriend move in to the basement with him. I was furious. (There was also a lot of unapproved (and not housebroken) pets that somehow made their way in). After 6 months of hell I said you have 5 months to move out and that's it. After only 2 weeks they had found an apartment and moved out (this apartment was 4x the rent I was charging them). Fast forward to today, he just broke up with his girlfriend and can't afford his rent on his own and said he's moving back in without even asking me. My whole family is saying ""you don't use your basement anyways and he can't afford to live anywhere so you have to let him back in"". I want to help as much as possible so I said yes but I said he'd have to be better with the rules and pay his rent on time (forgot to mention last time there was a couple of months where he didn't pay, and he owes me a lot of money for other things). Now here's the kicker: his sons start school 1h after my brother leaves for work and finish 3 hours before my brother is back and he just expects me to babysit them during this time?  I don't know what to do because he doesn't have any money for childcare nor for his own rent so I can't possibly say no but I don't want to do this, especially not for free.AITA for wanting to say no to the childcare? Am I being too hard on him? I know it's my uncly duties to be there for my nephews and it's my brotherly duty to be there for my brother but is there a limit?",AITA for not wanting to help my brother anymore?,NTA
10xw36c,"My friends and I were planning a friend's bachelor party and they all decided on a date that conflicted with my holiday, which I had booked 9 months in advance. As the proposed date for the bachelor party was the date that everyone was available, except me, they decided to go ahead with it and tried to pressure me to cancel my holiday for it. Their reasoning was that I will have plenty of holidays in the future but my friends bachelor party would only happen once. I tried to explain to them that nearly all of my flights, hotel bookings and tours were non-refundable and that I would lose a lot of money if I cancelled.This angered them and they called me a snake for months (my name rhymes with snake) and would send me a picture of a snake every morning in the hopes I would cancel and join them instead.I got annoyed by all of this and decided to go on the holiday anyway. After my holiday, they all blocked me and told my relatives and other friends that I valued money over friendship and that they were all disappointed with me.Your judgement on this matter please.Thank you!",AITA for going on a pre-planned holiday over my friends bachelor party?,NTA
10xdjfy," I (F53) am married to H (M62). We have three children, M(26), M(23) and F(21). Our oldest, Lee, lives at home with us as he is on the spectrum and cannot live on his own. Other other children are both employed and live on their own although we are still very close to them, or at least I am.The problem is my husband has no patience with our oldest son Lee. He does function as far as personal needs and I've taught him to cook. He works part-time and has a program he attends a few days a week so he has some socialization. Lee is typically busy with his own interests and although I make it a point to play board games or chat with him or listen to the music he creates, he does enjoy his alone time. Now, he has a special interest in weather and as he constantly worries about snow and ice, he watches the weather channel religiously, as does his father. He does tend to ask a lot of questions about what the forecast is, what's said on the channel, etc. His dad just has no patience for this and ends up screaming at him after the first few questions. I do all I can to diffuse the situation but my husband ends up screaming at me and then I'm the bad guy for the rest of the day. Today was no different, Lee started asking questions, husband started screaming and I just laid into my husband and told him to shut up and grow up. Of course, now I'm at fault, being screamed at, etc.Am I the ass for telling my husband to just stop?I think I may be the AH for screaming at my husband.",AITA for screaming at my husband?,NTA
10xwr39,"I got married in July of 2018. Groom asked permission from my parents before proposing, borrowed money from them to buy the ring so I wouldn’t see it on our bank account (paid back as soon as I said yes). We dated for about a year and a half before getting married. We had a conversation before even deciding to be a “thing” that we were both dating to marry, not just dating for fun. We agreed on wanting kids in the near future and all of that. He is nearly 11 years my senior, I was 20 when we married. (Please, no comments on the age gap).We decided to purposely start trying to get pregnant in May of 2018. With my history of serious endometriosis, we kind of just assumed it would take a couple years to conceive - it didn’t. Which we were totally okay with! We were over the moon excited about the pregnancy.I was confirmed 5 weeks along when we got married. I was very close with our wedding photographer, so I made a plan with her to take some private photos of a pregnancy reveal while we were doing the post-ceremony photoshoot. She was to find my parents during the wedding and show them the photos.She was able to get them alone-enough during the mother-son dance, while I was sitting at the head table. She showed them the photos on her camera.My parents didn’t even respond when she showed them. (For reference, the photo was the two of us standing side-by-side holding a baby bodysuit, with my holding one hand on my stomach). Photographer was surprised they didn’t say anything and asked, “do you know what this means?” To which my mom replied “yeah, either the birth control failed or they had it removed.” I was very hurt when I heard that was the reaction. There were no big hugs or excitement to follow that, either. Was it wrong to tell my parents on such an emotional day for them? Was the way we announced it to them wrong?Or was that a perfectly acceptable place and way to announce and my feelings of hurt are valid?",AITA for telling my parents about my pregnancy on my wedding day?,NTA
10xzb0r," Years ago I took my son over to my sister’s to have a playdate with his cousin. We were hanging out on the porch of her apartment building watching out for cars while the kids played on skateboards in the street. After a little while my sister asked me to watch her kids while she did a few errands.Eventually I notice the kids trying to do a trick that looked a little dangerous. So, I told them to stop because they might get hurt. My son stopped right away. My niece on the other hand refused and immediately she fell and totally ate it on the curb. Her face was all bloody and she had knocked out/chipped several front teeth. I called my sister and she told me to take her daughter to their dentist and she would meet us there.Since they were adult teeth the dentist put back in the two that got knocked out, but they didn’t heal or something and fell out later. The dentist suggested getting her partial dentures until she was old enough to get implants. My sisters insurance wouldn’t cover them though and she had bad credit so she couldn’t get them on a payment plan.My sister wanted me to pay for her daughter to get a partial dentures and eventually pay for her implant. I didn’t think it was my responsibility to pay because her daughter decided to do something stupid. My sister insisted since I was watching her it was my responsibility to get her to stop. But there was literally no way I could have stopped her. Even if I had sprinted over in the time between me telling her to stop and her trying the trick again I wouldn’t have been able to physically stop her. I told my sister she needed to teach her daughter to listen when an adult tells her to stop.Recently my younger son has gotten self conscious about his crooked teeth. So a few weeks ago I took him to an orthodontist to get braces. Paying for them in installments by the way.My sister is absolutely pissed that I am paying for braces for his crooked teeth, but won’t pay for her daughter’s teeth. My sister was able to save up to get her daughter the partial denture, but she is old enough now to get implants and wants them because she is self conscious about having dentures. My sister says I should have started paying for her daughters implants first before I started paying for my sons braces because her daughter’s teeth are way more messed up.",AITA for getting braces for my son and not paying for my niece's teeth?,NTA
10xul71,"We live in an apartment with communal laundry. We needed to get a load of laundry done tonight.  There are two washers and two dryers but one of the dryers doesn't work so effectively two washers and one dryer. When we went there was a load in the dryer and one in the washer being done. We let our load run and when we came back we saw that the person who was using the laundry had rotated their clothes and put a third load in the washer. We noted how long the clothes had left and then came back to check and they had not been rotated. At this point if we don't get our load in the dryer soon we are it's going to end up being very late and there is no sign of anybody coming to switch their laundry over. So I neatly put took the load out of the dryer that was already done and dry and put it on top of the dryer and then put my load in the dryer and started it. Thirty minutes later I hear screaming and ranting in the hallway the switches back and forth between Spanish and English. A women was pacing up and down the hallway ranting about her laundry being touched.  Now I totally understand not wanting a stranger to touch  your clothes however, at this point we had been waiting for over two hours and to me it seems very rude to make other people wait like that. She was yelling for a few minutes and so we waited for her to cool off before going out. Our load still had about 10 minutes on it but we knew it was probably already dry so my husband came with me to get it (with the amount of yelling I was kind of scared) and she was waiting for us. She had taken our load out of the dryer and started her own and off on us about how of we ever tried that again there would be trouble. I expressed that I felt we should all make sure we're taking care of our clotting when using community laundry but then apologized to keep the peace and promised it wouldn't happen again. Tldr: I took somebody's laundry out of the dryer because  they were taking a long time and they were very angry, AITA?",AITA for touching somebody else's laundry?,NTA
10xw96h,"I(24f) belong to a culture where huge weddings are really overrated. If weddings are small , its assumed that there might be something wrong with the couple or their families. The events carry on for days and it gets extremely exhausting and also expensive. I have always considered these weddings as a waste of money and time. And had very hard time keeping up with all the wedding events of my older siblings. I am getting married in two months. And mine and my fiance's families have a lot on mind for this wedding. Last week , when I told  our families that I won't be allowing them to make this wedding a week long and waste so much of money and time over it , they really lost it. My parents were ready to yell at me and my in laws got very upset. My mom thinks it will bring disgrace and my dad is absolutely denying giving in to this demand of mine. They think its absurd and childish of me to creat a drama like this when the wedding is just around the corner and they don't have much time for preps. I know nobody supports me in this except for my fiance who also belives it will get really tiresome ,but I don't want to just give up and let them ruin a big day of my life by having their ways . But I also feel guilty for making my family and my fiance's family who have been nothing but kind and sweet to me upset. I know I have kind of broken their hearts. They had already planned so much . And I don't want to celebrate my wedding by making our families upset. I feel so stuck and awful . AITA?",AITA for demanding a micro wedding and making everyone upset?,YTA
10xwewd,"HiContext i live with my parents as an adult, they are my carers and appointees so they have all my money (think Britney spears conservatorship) and they refused to get my cats insurance when we first got them in 2020 after my last cat which also didnt have insurance died presumably from covid or disease, not that insurance would have helped much since we paid out of pocket.My cat Kevin (teach me to add photos and i will) hurt his front leg in November and we went to the vet asap, the vet prescribed painkillers and rest and if no improvement was made an x ray which we couldn't afford. Obviously i was upset since i told them to get him insurance every few months for the last two years and they would always refuse. He made minor improvements since then and is currently able to use his leg as normal but lifts it ( out of habit or pain i am unsure) when hes sitting. To me this is a red flag but the vet has since cleared him from any conditions and so we got insurance. The insurance company insists that he have no symptoms for 3 months from the inital payment which would put us into may for him to be covered for any injuries for his front two legs. My cats are now insured bar this. So, with that out of the way.TdlrMy cat wont be insured on his front legs until may and i have proposed we dont let him outside until then to mitigate the risks of him hurting himself and us being unable to afford care Incase the injuries are worseMy parents believe this is cruel(and that i am an asshole) and refuse to compromise with me, which i suggested they pay(with their money) for any incurring vet bills should he hurt his front legs as it was a direct consequence of their negligence to pay for insurance (with my money) when we first got him which would have covered any injuries. I believe this is their fault we are in this mess and should be their responsibility to pay outright for any injuries. They believe it is my cat and keeping him inside is cruel and i should pay for any vet bills myself as it is my cat.Any arguments about cats being kept indoors for any other reasons will be ignored, this is not up for debate. I live in a very cat friendly area with minor risks only related to sickness and injury of which can also happen inside a home, accompanied by the fact uk homes are tiny and all my cats are already outdoor cats. Aita for not letting him outside?",AITA for not letting my cat outside,NTA
10xw94r,"I(28F) just had my first baby in December and had a baby shower in October. I am white and my husband(31M) (also the father) is dominican. In the culture for his side of the family, it's not necessary to send thank you cards for gifts, they just enjoy seeing you open it. I was raised to ALWAYS send thank you cards for any type of gift to show appreciation.Anyway, during my pregnancy I got carpal tunnel which made it super difficult and painful to handwrite things. I had attempted to start writing thank you cards, but I could only get through one or two before my wrist and hand starting hurting badly enough that I had to stop. Because of this, I made a post on my social media explaining the situation and expressing my gratitude, but clarifying that I won't be sending out any cards and i hope no one is offended by this.No one has said anything about it, except my mom(65F) and her childhood best friend(~65F). My mom said people are going to get upset and offended by me not writing and sending cards. They will think I'm unappreciative and that when I have my second child later down the road they likely will not give me any gifts because of it. My moms friend, let's call her Lynn, is the only one who reached out to my mom and said her feelings were hurt because she made handmade gifts (sleepsacks, a quilt, headbands, and a nightgown for me) and hasn't seen me posting any pictures of the items being used and I never reached out and said anything. For clarification, she is friends with me on social media and saw my posts about not sending cards, and i also did post a picture of the baby in one of the sleepsacks and said she handmade it for her in the caption.In my opinion, thank you cards are an outdated (and honestly, a very white) tradition and a waste, considering more times than not those cards just get thrown away or stored away and never looked at again. I feel that if what my mom said is true about people not wanting to give me gifts later, then I don't want their gifts, I feel that when you give someone something a gift from your heart, you shouldn't expect something in return, even a thank you card. I did my best to express gratitude in my own way, and honestly, I'm a first time mom adjusting to life with a baby, and she hates the process of being changed, so as much as I love the clothes and things people have gotten me, I'm not constantly gonna be dressing her up to post pictures to please other people. As much as I love the idea of doing that myself, it's just too much when I'm exhausted and she's crying.So I'm looking for outside opinions, AITA for feeling that thank you cards aren't necessary?TLDR; My mom thinks I'm being ungrateful and offensive by not sending thank you cards from my baby shower, I made a generalized thank you post on social media and expressed that i would not be sending cards due to pain from handwriting (and because i think it's an outdated and unnecessary tradition).Edit: I appreciate everyone's input, even tho some of yall are unnecessarily mean about it lmao. Honestly, it didn't even occur to me to send private messages, I figured it would have the same affect as the general post, but that's actually a great idea and I will definitely be doing that.I also want to clarify that most of the people who gave gifts were present at the shower and I opened the gifts there and thanked them personally after every gift.",AITA for not sending thank you cards after my baby shower?,YTA
10xz8fo,"37F who has been helping a close friend 39F through a patch in dating. I got at least a dozen calls/texts daily about this guy she went on 4 dates with. They haven’t seen each other in 6 weeks after he slow faded. It’s been 3 months since they met for the first time and it’s been constant 9:10 ratio about him. She is leaving work having panic attacks, needing to come over to not be alone, messaging me as if I am her diary, telling me she should stop because I’m a friend and not a therapist, then will unload more messages about being unlovable, he’s an asshole, she’s seeking therapy because of him and writing me rhetorical questions such as “am I emotionally connected to this man, why do I feel this way, when do I trust my gut, why am I so emotionally invested in this man” and I get those types at least every other day, in addition to the othersI told her the seek therapy because I’m not a therapist, and she recognized and texts and says “sorry I will stop, you’re a friend, not a therapist, I won’t continue” and keeps sending repeatedly. It is very concerning and emotionally taxing, and I finally said again “I am not a therapist, you need to talk to someone who is qualified” and she said I know and sent 4 additional bulletpoints about him and I said “I miss when we used to talk about other things than this guy” and she said “I am sorry”, I felt it was an insincere apology, didn’t respond and we haven’t spoken in two days. TL;DR: friend has unloaded on me for three months at least a dozen of times a day about a guy she went on 4 dates with, got hurt by and I said please stop sending me constant messages and she hasn’t texted me after saying “I am sorry” and I didn’t respond",AITA for telling a close friend I was being emotionally dumped on (she has distanced herself since)?,NTA
10xyl4a,"I (F28) and my fiance (M29) are getting married in a few months. Let me start by saying that although I am posting this, my fiance and I are on the same page and a lot of this is coming straight from him (he just doesn’t have his own Reddit and uses mine). Anyways, a good friend of ours (M32, let's call him “Brandon”) is my fiance's best man. He’s a really great guy and has been an amazing friend, almost brother, to my fiance…except when he drinks. He’s been to rehab and did better for a while and my fiance has really supported him, helped find AA meetings for him (he went to a couple then stopped), helped him make safety plans to follow and supported him when he slipped up. It hasn’t helped and in fact it has just been getting worse since he got out of rehab. He’s lying, spending all his money on alcohol, unable to hold down a job. We had a little engagement/joint bachelor and bachelorette party recently at a small bar. He was hungover, asleep and barely woke up in time to the party even after my fiance called him repeatedly. My fiance and Brandon had agreed prior to the party that Brandon would only have one drink. However, Brandon had four drinks and was quite sloshed by the end of the evening. He also repeatedly asked members of the wedding party including my fiance and myself to pay for his drinks and was generally kind of a jerk. My fiance and I discussed it and decided that we still want him at the wedding but we don’t want him there drunk and behaving like that, so we are going to tell the bar staff at the venue not to serve drinks to him. It’s an open bar, so we’re paying the cost. We would also do whatever we needed to in order to make this discreet for him. We don’t want to be bride/groomzillas but we also want a nice party without drunken drama (as much as possible) and we want the best for our friend. My fiance told him today and needless to say he’s very upset and threatening not to come to the wedding at all. He says that we don’t like him for who he really is. That was kind of heartbreaking to hear and we were already very conflicted over the decision, so now we are especially wondering if we were heartless or if this is a defensive response because of the alcoholism. We mentioned it to one of the other groomsmen and he said he didn’t really think it was a big deal, but I’m not sure if he is clear on Brandon’s history (he bought Brandon drinks at the engagement party after my fiance had told them all not to in advance). So are we the AHs? Brutally honest feedback welcome, if we did mess up here we want to make it right and take it back. Or if the intention was okay but the execution not so much that would be good to know.",AITA for telling the wedding venue not to serve one of the members of the wedding party?,NTA
10xy8ef,"Hi, I (15F) have anorexia and bulimia (when I eat I puke it out again). I have been dealing with this for about 2 and a half years by myself because my mum (51F) mostly ignored this because she hoped time would heal this. It did not.Eventually I was sent to a special clinic on the 6th of January for about 8 days. I did not finish this clinic for I quit because I felt very degraded and belittled. My mum put me in this place even after I explained my reasons for not wanting to and that this was going to completly kill our relationship. She didn't listen and honestly it did.We used to be pretty close but honestly after this month we have completly drifted apart. I have some blame to take too because I was upset too and have said some nasty things which I later apologized for but it still stung for her which I totally understand.Anyways, we've mostly been living like roommates, we do our own thing at our own time and don't really 'interfere' with one another. As part of my own recovery I started learning how to cook. At first I made meals for both of us but often she'd express that she wasn't hungry and would eat it later or just wouldn't eat which honestly caused some nasty arguments between us because it was hard for me to struggle al alone.I just decided that I would then eat by myself because I honestly felt more comfortable this way, so I started doing that. Ever since recovering I have started to Binge eat at sometimes too because my body is learning to recover and I just don't really know what I can handle yet. Here is where my bulimia kicks in because I have a tendency of throwing it all up after I feel to full.Then my mum (in all fairness to her, I completly understand her frustration) gets incredibly mad at me and always starts screaming. Honestly she screams at me everyday now, even for small things like coming home early from school while her boyfriend is here.Anyways, today I was sitting in the living room and we were just talking and watching TV and she got upset during a dinner scene asking why we couldn't be like that. I awnsered very honestly and said the following:""After the clinic I just didn't feel like I could trust you anymore and I prefer spending time alone these days.""She lost her absolute shit.Honestly I would too if my daughter had said this but I warned her before hand that this would be a result of sending me to a clinic after ignoring everything for 2 years and now pretending like she wants to be this mentally involved mother. So AITA for pushing her away?",AITA for not dining with my mum,NTA
10xzl6q,"So I (18 m) live with my aunt. Sometimes in the morning instead of breakfast I just have a chocolate protein shake. I was carrying one around with me the other day while I was getting ready for school and ended up knocking it over on my bedroom carpet (all of the carpet in her house is white). Of course I panicked at first but I've had to get stains out of carpet before so I scooped up what I could, grabbed a bottle of Zout (literally a lifesaver, 10/10 would recommend), doused the carped, and blotted up about 90% of the stain. I then borrowed a carpet cleaner from another family member to finish the job. When I was done, you couldn't even tell anything had been spilled there. Problem solved.But of course it wasn't that easy. The person I borrowed the carpet cleaner from texted my aunt asking what spilled and why I needed to borrow it, which I don't really understand because I had already told her what I was using it for. My aunt texted me and asked if I spilled something so I told her I spilled my shake but it was already cleaned up. She blew up at me saying that I should have told her and that I shouldn't have had any liquids on the carpet anyways, which has never been an established rule. I just apologized and told her again that it was already cleaned up and that there was no visible stain. She said I can't hide stuff like that from her and next time instead of cleaning it myself I should let her know. I was hesitant to tell her for this exact reason, I knew she'd be upset, but idk. Am I obligated to tell her when I make a mess as long as I clean it up? Am I the asshole?","AITA for ""hiding"" the fact that I spilled something on my aunt's carpet?",NTA
10xzah5,"I (29F) and my friend (30F) were visiting NYC.  My friend is really kind and friendly but also not very socially aware. She’s from a small Midwestern town and this was her first time in NYC, but she has traveled to a lot of states and Europe, so when we planned the trip I had some expectation that she knew how to stay safe and what to avoid while traveling. On our last morning we took the subway from Brooklyn to Manhattan. While we were on the subway it was getting more and more crowded (it was around 7:30am), everything was jam packed. My friend kept making comments about it and was laughing and smiling, we got more attention than I wanted since everyone else was quiet and on their phones. We got to a stop where most people got out but there was one man (in his 50’s) who kept staring at my friend. She looked over at him and then looked back down, so I didn’t think it would escalate beyond that. Then when she looked back over at him and he was still staring, she smiled brightly and said very loudly “Hi!!!! How are you?” (I want to be clear that she was not interested in this dude at all, if she was I would have been fine with her picking him up, it wasn’t that type of situation. Everyone stared. He smiled at her and handed his phone to her with a new contact screen open. She looked down at it and then looked at me. I took the phone, handed it back to him, and said no. Then I pulled her further back in the car and was quiet for the rest of the trip. When we got off I was trying to figure out what to say because I was so frustrated with her. The whole trip (we had gone to Europe as well) felt like 1 long babysitting adventure and I was frustrated because I never expected that she didn’t know how to travel (for example, she couldn’t navigate, didn’t know how to use Google maps or anything else, I planned the whole trip and she never made any input, always saying “oh I don’t know, we’ll do what you want to do.”) I love my friend but my expectations were obviously wrong, I know that now. I did not yell or scream, I just said to her (but obviously angry), “you cannot do that, that was really dangerous, he could have followed us. Did you want to give him you phone number?!?” She said no and apologized but was quiet. I feel bad but I was also at my limit.AITA?",AITA for getting mad at my friend on the subway?,NTA
10xpyg5,"Throwaway account for privacy reasons. I (29F) have been with my boyfriend (30M) for about 8months, we were friends for a year before we became a couple.Recently my mom (60) was taken to the hospital for mental health issues, thankfully she didn’t suffer any life threatening injuries but my family and I were pretty shaken up, she always had bad anxiety since I was young, but my dad and I didn’t realize how bad it gotten. I was sick with worry for my mom and guilty for not recognizing it earlier.I reached out to my boyfriend to tell him what had happened and if I could see him after work.Up until this point  I had been telling him how my mother's constant anxiety induced comments throughout our daily lives was stressing me out, so he knew my situation a little bit.He offered kind words asking if I was okay, but also told me he was busy with work and friends the next few nights and the earliest he could see me was 3 days later.When I asked him if he could make time for me after one of the friend plans, he said he would feel so terrible cutting short his time with friends, and it would stress him out.I think that I might have complained to him too much about my situation and maybe I shouldn't have put the burden on him so early in the relationship.But I can't help but feel upset that he couldn't prioritize me over his friends, who he sees almost on a biweekly basis.He told me he loves me recently, but I thought it meant  that he'd be willing to be there for me in my saddest moments.I'm not sure if I'm overburdening him with my complaints and I should have a better mental capacity to handle things, and I shouldn't be too reliant on him.AITA?",AITA for asking too much of my boyfriend,NTA
10xysdc,"I know it's been three years, but several people still asked me about it because they saw my post on tik tok or other media.So I wanted to make this post to thank everybody who gave me such kind and sensible advice three years ago. Even though I didn't reply, I read most of the replies, good or bad. And I am thankful for all of you who encouraged me to give my daughter a second chance.I'll summarise it: I went back to Miami and she gave me a heartfelt apology and explained all the dark things her boyfriend was getting her into. We got into therapy once again, she left her abusive relationship and these past three years our relationship has become better than ever! It was not easy, but definitely worth it. I'm glad I didn't give up.Thanks reddit!",UPDATE: AITA for not forgiving my daughter,NTA
10xv5p4,"Throwaway. I do more than my fair share around the house. I take care of all the animals. I make breakfast every morning for our child. I clean up after myself and my family every day. I stay on top of finances and household needs. Laundry is mostly me. I handle pretty much all the school stuff and Dr appts for our child. I also go to the grocery store every week and have picked up dinner items and things others personally need as I almost always ask if they need anything when going to the store.My husband is the primary cook but doesn't always cook for me as sometimes I like cooking for myself. I still clean up after myself and him. He also sometimes does grocery runs.He went on a long bike ride the other day and said he was going to stop at the grocery store on the way home to get a few things for dinner. This isn't new. He did this a lot last year training for a long ride and using the weight of the groceries to train. He is training again this year. His ride took a while and he texted me he was pretty tired so he might have me pick him up at the store after he gets groceries. I replied saying okay just let me know.He shows up to the house and comes in seemingly upset. He rushes to get changed and says he's going to the store and leaves. I can tell he's upset. When he returns, I ask what is going on. He proceeds to be mad at me for not going to the store. I told him I would have had he asked me or if he simply didn't say he was going to the store at the end of his ride, I would've volunteered to go as I've done in the past. He doesn't care what I've said and acts cold. He won't look at me and just says uh huh. Uh huh. I try to explain that I do a lot and going to the store is no issue as it never has been, but I can't read his mind when he says he's going and then decides he doesn't want to. I told him he could've said, hey I'm tired can you get the groceries instead, but he didn't. Instead he proceeded to make me feel like shit and like I'm lazy/don't do anything. Even while he was gone and almost every time he rides, I'm doing housework. During this ride I cleaned the kitchen and changed litter boxes and cleaned out old stuff from the fridge. It's not like I'm just sitting around doing nothing productive at all while he spends hours on his hobby/physical activity, but he doesn't seem to see it that way. It's like we are living in 2 different realities.So that's why I'm here...AITA?",AITA for not going to the grocery store?,NTA
10xqdok,"Since last year I moved with my girlfriend and her minor brother. Even before then, the consensus was that her brother will go live with their parents after the end of the school year. I didn't try to push the move too much, as I felt more as a guest than ""family"" as they say and I couldn't request to get their son faster. The summer holiday went past, nothing happened(they still were in the process to convince him to come, which he doesn't want because they live in another country).In autumn their parents had vacation and would come here for 2 weeks, which I hoped meant they will take the boy with them. As a not so big surprise, that didn't happen.December arrived, we went for the holidays to both their parents and then mine, but still nothing advanced.In January I couldn't wait anymore and I started looking for apartments for them(they live in a shared house and have only 1 room now, they want to move in a 2 or 3 rooms apartment and then take the boy with them). In the following week/s they asked me for information(I know the local language) or through my girlfriend shared videos of visited renting apartments or offers found online.Maybe this doesn't sound that bad, but my problem is the following. All this time they said they are looking for apartments/places to live. But before I started looking for them, they didn't have any real updates or didn't seem to make progress. They even went to an agency, which after I contacted the agency, told me they don't help customers find renting, only help the owners rent it. This felt very strange to me, and all throughout this period looks like they just want to create the impression that they are looking for renting.As I side note, my girlfriend wants her brother to leave too, because firstly her parents promised this will happen since 2 years ago, secondly he doesn't really do too much in the house(taking the trash, cleaning his room and getting the clothes in the dryer room -- those as a 16yo) to help us with and thirdly we need some privacy, we live in a tiny room snd can't have our own space(as a couple) while he has the bigger room. And I work from home, using the desk in the hallway, which is uncomfortable(anyone who comes to our home sees me there and I can't have a good position because the desk is old and has too little space to have my legs under it.All in all, I just want him to leave asap(he's even missing from school a ton), but I'm not in the mood to do the job for them and look myself for an apartment, even though I don't really trust them to do it themselves(haven't proved too interested until now)",AITA for wanting my girlfriends brother to leave the house?,NTA
10y0amr,"TA for privacy​So my husband has a daughter, Marie(11), with his ex. Marie unfortunately was born with, for a lack of better words, severe mental disabilities. The way our custody agreement is set is that 1 year Marie lives with us and 1 year with her mother. She is supposed come here next week.This is where I ran into a problem. My husband and I have a son Adam(11 months). First of all, my husband has to go to work and it would be difficult for me to manage both Marie and Adam (especially him), at the same time.The second problem is that Adam is going through a fussy phase right now, and ends up screaming for a long time. Marie has sensory overloads when there is a loud noise, so it would be difficult to deal with it because, A) my son wont stop screaming and B) making him stop would take at least 10 minutes all the while Marie would be suffering.There are other issues but these are the two main ones.I talked to a friend about it and she says that it would be cruel for me to ask that.So I wanted to ask, WIBTA?",WIBTA if I ask my husband to not bring my step daughter over?,YTA
10y06k9,"I (30s f) am married to DH (30s M). DH was raised by his bio mom for the first few years of his life (his bio dad has never been in the picture, never will be, may as well be a sperm donor). When DH was a young kid, bio mom married “Joe.” Joe is amazing and has always treated DH like his own. DH considers him his father and that’s the end of it. The fact that Joe isn’t DH’s bio dad is just a quiet fact that is known but never really comes up (no reason for it to).Here’s the issue- DH and I have a child. DH has decided he isn’t going to tell our child anything about bio grandpa and is instead just going to never say anything and our child will never know. I was shocked when this came up as I wasn’t aware the information was some kind of secret I was supposed to keep. I’ve been “forbidden” from telling our child anything about it unless something comes up medically to make it relevant. That is “the only scenario it would be appropriate to tell our child.”This seems really wrong to me. It would be like I’m keeping something about themselves from our child. It’s not like I want to tell our child anytime soon (they are still young), but eventually it only seems right for them to know. I don’t want to make a big deal out of it, but I believe our child has a right to know, ask questions, whatever. It’s their dna too…But maybe I’m TAH because it’s not really my information to tell and DH has a right to keep it to himself?We had a big fight about it and now I don’t know what the right thing to do is.I think I might be the asshole because I want to tell our child information that is not technically mine to give.",WIBTA if I told my kid the truth about their dna someday?,NTA
10xzyfu,"This happened about an hour ago while I was trying to workout in my local gym. So there is only one deadlifting station in my gym and they don’t like you setting up to deadlift anywhere other than on that mat because it’s padded to stop the whole floor shaking or whatever. I’m doing my deadlifting, watching my form in the mirror in front of me and this big dude who I see in there from time to time goes and sets up a bench right in front of me, blocking my view of the mirror. Worth noting that there was 5 or 6 other benches available. So after a few sets I’m a little annoyed but go over and respectfully wait for him to finish his set, and then ask politely “hey I’m deadlifting over there, would you mind standing to one side between your sets so I can keep checking my form in the mirror” which I think is pretty reasonable, I wasn’t asking him to not use that bench, despite there being plenty of others, so not really an inconvenience at all and I put on my nice friendly voice. Anyway the bloke immediately just lays into me “why do you need to look at your little muscles in the mirror” and then a load more comments about how he doesn’t need to use a mirror and he has big muscles so why should I need to use one for my “skinny 8 year olds body”. So I just said “whatever man I was trying to be polite there no need to be a d*ck about it” and walked back to carry on my workout. He then proceeded to keep coming and standing near me during my sets, and each time I finished he would come up to me and sarcastically ask if I could see the mirror enough. I ended leaving after 2 exercises because he wouldn’t leave me alone and every time I tried to reason with him he’d walk away again or keep insulting me. So AITA for asking him step to the side during his rests, I thought it was a reasonable request and I made it quite politely, but now I don’t know if I was being unreasonable based on his very offended reaction.",AITA for asking a guy to not block my view so I could check my lifting form while he was resting between sets?,NTA
10xwcl9,"I (33m) have a very close friend from high school, Alex (32f). Alex has a kid, Jamie, who is about to turn four. We live four hours apart, so unfortunately, I don’t actually have a relationship with Jamie (that will hopefully change in the next year or two). Alex talks about me a lot and sends me videos of Jamie saying, “hi Uncle OP” and talking to me, so she knows of me. I was able to see Jamie last year for her birthday and a few times when she was a baby. I won’t be able to see them this year, so I wanted to send some gifts. I love giving gifts, and I really love giving surprise gifts. The gifts I’m planning to send are a “Paw Patrol pup backpack role play set” because Jamie loves Paw Patrol, a dinosaur painting kit (comes with plastic dinosaurs and paint, and some other things), and an age-appropriate dinosaur book so she can learn about the dinosaurs she’s painting. I worked hard not to get anything loud or obnoxious while also having creative, educational, and hands-on gifts. WIBTA if I sent this without consulting Alex because I want it to be a surprise? I have no reason the believe Alex would be upset, but if I tell her it’d be a constant battle of “oh, you don’t need to” (and not as a passive aggressive way of actually telling me not to). I know this is silly, but in the last few years I’ve learned I actually don’t understand social etiquettes around things I’m unfamiliar with, like children and parenthood, and it’s caused problems when I absolutely thought they’re wouldn’t be a problem.",AITA if I send surprise gifts for my niece’s birthday,NTA
10xwc3e,"Sorry in advance for any typo, English is not my first language. Fakes names for obvious reasons.I (F,28) been dating my boyfriend Chris (M,31) for 2 years and a half, and we started living together 6 month ago. Chris is someone who can be complicated because of his disease, he has severe epilepsy and need a medication that can alter his mood, which I'm aware and try to understand as much as I can.At the begging of our relationship, Chris was nice and comprehensive, he let me have my freedom. We were both unemployed at the time (during covid) so we spent a lot of time together. But when we both started working things started to crumble a bit. I can't really see my friends last minute, and Chris wants to be invited because we are a couple and we should do everything together. He does invited me when he goes out (which is rare).Same goes for Christmas, vacations, etc. So I invite him but when he doesn't have time off or don't like the vacation (for exemple, skiing) he says he doesn't want to go and expect me to stay with him. it's hard because I like to go out, see movies, going on vacation, etc.Now for the actual conflict : Chris didn't do anything for my birthday, no gift (apparently there is a delay but it's been a month), no going out to drinks or eat (which I did for every one of his birthday) because he was tired and not in the mood. Because my birthday is a bit important to me (he is aware of that) I invited some of my friends to our place but he was mad because he was working the next day (his day starts at noon, so I promised him everyone would be leaving at 1 AM tops) so I invited his friends. He was so busy talking to them he wasn't even here when my friends came with the birthday cake and the candles.So when I told all of that to my bestfriend Val (29, NB), they invited me to their place and told me they will cook a nice dinner. When I told that to Chris, he got mad. ""Why am I not invited"" ""why on a Thursday it's my day off"" but I stood my ground and I said that I just wanted one evening with by bestfriend, that I would be home early, etc. Then he said that if one day we should break-up, it would have something to do with Val. It's true that Val is not very found of my boyfriend, because they think Chris is taking advantage of me (I pay 80% of the bills and cook, clean and do most of the chores). But Val is always polite when they see Chris (maybe 3 or 4 times a year). Chris tried to guilt-trip me (""why do you want to go out with someone who hates me"") he did before. So that's where I might be the asshole : I said he was controlling and even though its was his day off, I will go no matter what he said, and I would not reschedule my dinner with Val.Now Chris gives me the silent treatment, and says that I don't care about him or his day off. So I'm asking : AITA here ?","AITA for wanting to see my bestfriend alone, because my BF hates them?",NTA
10xw7bx,"Firstly I would like to apologize because English is not my first language.I(16f) have a friend that I will call M (15f). I would not consider M my best friend, but I think I am her only friend, and I have always been kind to her. For back Story, her brother is in the same class as me and I am aware of their family situation, the older brother is autistic and needs assistant in class, and she have a younger brother that is very sick and because of COVID they almost never left the house. M only came back to school a few months ago (her first time at middle school). About a month ago I started to notice M rushing to me the second the break start, and somethings not getting into classes and just waiting outside, but I do anything because M I was saying she's fine asking me not to tell anyone.I found out that she didn't have any friends from her class or her age group, and that she hated her class.and that she only had one friend besides me who was on the athletics team with her, who she had a crush on. I was sad for her, because I somehow knew that guy and I knew that he didn't feel the same way, but I didn't say anything.A few weeks ago, she got injured and couldn't participate in a competition she was training very hard for and was absolutely devastated.I recently notice her not getting into her classes, and just sitting outside of mine. A few days ago she was doing that again and some of my classmate tried to encourage her back to her class, but with no success. When the break came I took care outside and we sat there for a while. She told me she was being bullied, and that she had tried to end her life, and that she is  regrets not doing it. I have  asked her if her parents know, and she said that they don't, and I am pretty sure that she doesn't get enough attention from her parents because of her brothers. I've tried to get her permission in that moment to tell someone, or tell her that she should tell someone that can help, but she begged me not to because people would say she is ""insane and belong in a hospital""(her words). Which bring me to two days ago in the evening, I decided to tell my teacher because I don't know any of hers. I texted her a really long getting detailed message about how I was worried, and the teacher replied and said she's very sorry to hear that and she promised me she will take care of it, and I know she will because she had done things like this before.I haven't been to school since, but I think M is upset because she doesn't answer any of my texts.Am I the asshole for telling on her? Or should I not have interfered in her life?",AITA for telling on my friend?,NTA
10xw7bc,"I (22m) had a dog, but because if various reasons I couldn't take care of him anymore and had to find him a new family asap. I found one, and gave him to them along with some supplies and food that I obviously didn't need anymore. I asked 100€ for this all.This was three weeks ago. They said they couldn't pay me right away, but could in a few days. I agreed to this because I'm naive and was really struggling with the dog, so I was in a hurry.A week went by, and I couldn't see the money on my bank account. I asked about it. The family's mom said ""Oh, we have been so tired"" (I honestly don't see what that has to do with anything in this situation) and ""we don't have money right now, I'll pay next week"". I thought okay, next week is soon. I also agreed to get the money in two different days, 50€ each.This same thing kept happening. Always ""next week we will pay"". Today they were supposed to pay yet again, this time the whole amount as they promised. Of course the money was spent on other things. I threatened to go to the police about this, and she started acting shocked and asking me to be flexible about this. I said I've been too patient. She said she will pay 2 weeks from now. She also said that it's pathetic to go to the police about such a small amount. To this I said ""if it's such a small amount why is it so difficult to pay"" and she stopped replying.So, AITA for threatening them and losing patience with them?Edit:You guys are missing the point.I know I fucked up, I've said it many times. I'm not looking for people to feel sorry for me.I genuinely think this home and family are great for him. My only problem with them is that they promised me many times but keep giving excuses. I wouldn't have given the dog (who I love) to anyone I would think is bad for him. Yes I was desperate but still, not the first family I came across.Yes I'm naive, I know it.",AITA for threatening to report my dog's new owners to the cops,NTA
10xz3p7,"I'm currently gearing up for my next job hunt and my mom said I can send my resume for her coworker, Kay, to rewrite. Now, I worked as a tutor and proofreader (including for resumes) for over a year so mine is already pretty good. But I was happy about this because I needed a more traditional version (too lazy to do it) and wanted a fresh pair of eyes on a couple old sections. So I sent my latest version.On Monday my mom forwarded me what seems to be the finished product. I say seems to be because Kay asked if there's anything I'd like changed, so apparently she's satisfied with it. But the file is a mess. Besides the layout causing sections to be difficult to digest, there are a lot of formatting problems/inconsistencies, and roles and project titles are combined into one long, strange title even though it was originally 2-3 different things. There are also many typos, including the misspelling of my name, email, university, degree, and several past employers. Even my phone number is wrong.It's all my original writing but with mistakes that weren't there before. It's obvious she just dictated / retyped it but then she didn't give it even a first read through because words have changed slightly and now the sentences don't make sense, ex. officers to offices, assess to access, objectives to objected. She didn't even use spelling and grammar check because if she had, my degree would say 'Specialization in Europe,' not 'Specializatio in Europr.' There's more but I need to keep this in the word limit.I composed a text to thank Kay for her efforts, explain some of my problems with it, and inform her that I'd rather not use any more of her time and no need for a revised version. I also composed a second text to clarify that I won't be paying her, on the basis that if I had turned this in as a proofreader I wouldn't have gotten paid, and that it's nowhere near ready for use due to the mistakes, so we should just part ways and call it a day.Kay's irate and is insisting she be paid. She's saying I've already received the file and could just use it for free, but even if I wanted to use it I would have to spend the same amount of time fixing it as I would on making a new one. I've told my mom not to pay her and to just forward my messages (I live abroad so can't contact Kay directly), but my mom is hesitant since they work together. My mom is very nice and non-confrontational so she is considering just paying herself to keep the peace since she sees Kay everyday. I don't want to cause trouble for her at work, but to me it's crazy to pay Kay for something that looks like a 'before' photo of the file I sent her. My mom doesn't make a lot of money so if she does this she'll have to find somewhere to take it out of her monthly budget, but obviously that wouldn't be the case if I just paid her myself. So WIBTA if I insist on not paying Kay?",WIBTA for insisting on not paying someone for reworking my resume?,NTA
10xyr24,"My friend (F40) and I (F38) haven't been seing things eye to eye ever since I started doing therapy. I've been doing my best doing the work of healing myself & working on managing my emotional triggers. My friend, on the other hand is in a ""hoe phase"" which is fine, but she hates it when I get mad at the men who pump & dump & don't treat her well saying it's just ""the hook up culture"" and that I'm making her feel bad about her life. Another time, we were talking about self boundaries & showing yourself love instead of continuing to give it to men who don't care. She went off again saying that it's difficult to recognize these patterns so why am I blaming her for not changing it asap. At that point, I had to draw a line. I'm not okay being dumped on by things that are actually in her control.Three months from now, we had a trip planned so I told her lets cool off & just talk then since anything I say angers her. Now, she bailed on the trip because she had a sudden family reunion on the date of our trip and is apologetic about it. It doesn't make me angry but it is a bit frustrating since its non-refundable.At this point, my motivation is low to keep being her friend. She does reach out every now & then but I don't feel happy to engage knowing ill say the ""wrong thing"" again.I've already Set a boundary in the past so I don't feel the need to say ""goodbye"" this time around. More of, I'd rather just let it die slowly. AITA?",AITA for not wanting to continue a 26 year friendship?,NAH
10xvcz3,"So, I play handball and today we had a school competition competing against another school in the city. If you win(we did) you go to the regionals and if you win there you go to the state championship. Now, I in no way blame anyone for my poor performance, I played well in the defense but I was really awful in attack scoring only around 2 out of 8 goals I tried to score, I can only really blame myself for that.Now, my problem is that I was really stressed out before the game(even though it wasn’t a big deal) because I wanted to play well and my teammate “S” kept on pestering, annoying and distrupting me during my warm ups. She is the childish type and always goofs around, now I’ve known her for years and usually I don’t mind it but she just wouldn’t leave me alone. I told her multiple times to leave me alone and go do warm ups and everytime she played it off as us just joking. I still play handball and she stoped playing a few years ago because of personal reasons and since then forgot most things about warm ups before the game. I have certain rituals before the game like for example doing certain exercises in order or having breathing exercises if I’m nervous and kind of talking to myself to just pump myself up you know? Everybody knows this or just lets me be and leaves me alone to do it so I could concentrate better(as do they), but she just wouldn’t leave me alone!Every few seconds she would come up to me and start disrupting me in the middle of the exercise(playing it off as goofing around) or smack my butt hard(she knows I like girls as well so it really makes me mad and uncomfortable when she does that or calls me mommy or act like she’s my wife when she has a boyfriend of over 3 years and I know she has no interest in me and I don’t have any interest in her as well) and all of that combined just made me more irritated and I was just losing my concentration.I yelled at her MULTIPLE times to get away, to stop bothering me and to go do her warm ups and everytime she would just say:”Well I’m just trying to pump you up, when you’re angry you play better!” and laugh, like? She played really well(and I’m happy for her, she’s a great player), but she tried to cheer me up during the game even though she and other teammates know I don’t cheer up myself by having someone tell me “it’s okay” but by getting into the right state of mind.I didn’t tell her she’s the reason I didn’t play well because technically she isn’t, but I feel like if I wasn’t so irritated before the game I would perform better.Sorry that this was so long, but I just wanted to hear some other opinions on this matter.",AITA for thinking my teammate is the reason I performed poorly in the game?,NTA
10xv4v7,"My gf and I got into a big spat about whether it's appropriate for her to play open (usually all men's) indoor soccer.We play in a social mix league together and I'm happy with the skill level because it is a social sport. After the game the ref asked the group if we wanted to play in the next game since they were a few short. They said it was opens so girls can play, but I think it's an exception for girls with exceptional soccer skills that can play against a full men's side. These weren't and didn't look like the classic social soccer team to me. I asked that she not play and she said she would sit back and watch for a bit.One of the other girls on our mixed team decided it was perfectly fine to join in. I think this girl is a loose cannon most of the time, a broken leg waiting to happen with the way she swings for it, and a contact rate of 40%. I'm cool with this on a mixed team because we're having fun. After she join my gf decides it's alright to join in too. Which I was very upset about and waited till after the game to talk to her. She's a feminist which I love about her, but this is not a girl boss moment because she's not a soccer player. I feel that she doesn't respect men wanting to play rough, and thank goodness these guys pulled back their intensity when the girls joined. But I don't think they should have to do that. I explained that it's their leisure time and they may not enjoy it with girls in their games. For context this sports centre doesn't have men's only just 'opens' and 'mixed'.She, obviously, got upset when I told her these things and to be fair I was quite upset when she chose not to listen to me. She doesn't understand my concerns and dismisses it as a bit misogynistic.Some more context: (I asked her what else to add)When we filled in the team had already forfeited so the game was free. It was also social. I was also concerned for her safety incase someone didn't go easier and really hurt her.Am I the arsehole?",AITA I won't let my gf play futsal.,YTA
10xqrvg,"I, 19 neurodivergent F, received a custom Greek paddle from one of my sorority sisters as part of an exchange. As part of my neurodivergency, i have never really understood proper gift ettiquite after you received a gift. While this does not play a drastic patt or excuse my potentially shitty behavior, this is good context to have for me as a person.The paddle she gave me had a spot where she messed up and used the wrong kind of adhesive. This made the front Star Wars logo look like a big white paper mess on the front. When I went to hang it up yesterday, I couldn't help myself and went over the part she was embarrassed she messed up. In the end, I ended up taking a slight creative detour but kept the original design the same. I asked my bf if it makes me an asshole even if I don't really hang out with her, and she's not going to see it again. He said yes. I know I should've left it alone. I still love and cherish the gift she gave me, but I love it even more now that it feels like it looks complete. I know she's never going to see it again, but I still feel some amount of guilt. I'm thinking about changing a lot of the creative touches I had off. So what do we think, reddit? If something was given as a gift, do I as the owner have some right to change it, seeing as it now belongs to me, and keeping in mind I kept the foundational design the same? AITA??? HELP!",AITA for altering a gift someone gave to me?,NTA
10xxewv,"Me (18F) and my boyfriend (18M) have been dating for a year and a half we've had our ups and downs but at the moment our relationship seemed stable. This Week i had a huge fight with my parents where my dad got physical with me, thereby i'm staying at my bfs apartment for the next few days. The problem just is that my parents have told me on monday that my 16 year old cat, that i've had since i was 2 years old is very sick and will get put to sleep on friday since she is in great pain and it's best for her if we end her suffering. I have been very depressed since then and have gone home to be able to say goodbye and to spend her last hours with her since she also is very needy atm and craves attention. I've asked my bf if he could take care of me on friday since i'll be a mess after her passing and i don't want to be alone at his place. The issue is that he refused and told me he wouldn't be able to since a friend of his friendgroup is celebrating his birthday in a bar on friday where i wasn't invited to since his friend doesn't like me and i also dislike him since he has always been a jerk to me calling me names, insulting me, and making fun of my selfharm scars and my abuse. I've asked my boyfriend if he could ask his friend if it would be okay if i could come too since like i already said i dont wanna be alone and i cant be with my family atm since the situation is very tense. He told me he would ask on monday but that he doesn't understand why i wanna come there because his friend doesn't like me and he is afraid that i will ruin my boyfriends evening because i will be depressed. I got mad at that because my bf goes out every weekend with his friends and their girlfriends while i stay at home since my bf just dislikes me coming along. throughout our relationship he has only taken me with him 2 times. I just don't wanna be alone i understand that he needs to go there because it's his friends birthday but i dont get why he's scared that i'll make him depressed because i will be sad. It's thursday now and my boyfriend just called me and said that his friend said that i could come too but my bf was rather annoyed and asked me the whole time if im sure that i wanna go since i'll ruin his evening and that i should rather stay at home. I'm thinking about starting a fight over this because i feel really dissapointed and not supported but i'm unsure if im simply being to sensetive. so AITA?",AITA for wanting to go to a birthday with my boyfriend?,NTA
10xtfmh,"I (19 yrs old) just recently got home with my mom from her work and after buying bread, I got into my room to change and charge my phone to watch TV, and my mom got changed in a separate room next to mine where my sister is in. After my mom finished changing and left that room, I was just scrolling on YT on my TV when out of the blue, my sister literally threw and insult at me next room, and to confirm it, she mentioned my name too. Keep in mind that I did absolutely NOTHING but just watched tv in silence, absolutely I never said anything at all before she insulted me.So I told my mom about this and she told me she'll talk to her, again, because my sister did this a few times and my mom had to talk to her to not do it again on those times. Anyway, I came back from my bath and they already started talking, but here, my sister got all mad and defensive about this, then proceeds to call my mom and idiot and that she's stupid, and getting mad at my mom, first of all my mom is tired from work recently. At this point I think my sister is trying to deny it happened just now and get all defensive? or maybe she got all defensive cause she knew said that and just doesn't want to admit it? Either way, she's now accusing my mom for threatening my sister? when all my mom did was just talk to her about what I heard that my sister said against me.After that talk, my mom asked me if I said anything at all to insult or provoke her, to confirm my mom's question I honestly said no, in all honesty, just like I said in the first paragraph above, I did nothing but watched tv in complete silence. My mom also told me about what she and my sister talked about:'that my mom asked my sister if I said anything to provoke her'  and 'my sister said there wasn't' then my mom told my sister that 'there was nothing that I said, because he didn't say anything at all, it was just the tv' Which is correctly trueMy mom then told me that whatever my sister is gonna say about me, I should just ignore it and even my dad agrees.But the drawback is this, if my sister insulted me and I'll just ignore it, the drawback is that of my anxiety that connects to my stomach, because both me and my mom have the same stomach problem, if we're in a stressful or anxious situation, it's gonna react to our stomachs. What I'm really scared about now is that, now my mom confronted my sister about what she did, and now my sister is already angry, I have a bad feeling that I fear that my sister will wake up in the middle of the night, go outside to the back of my bedroom's window, and just shout insults at me loud enough to wake me up from my sleep, then my anxiety kicks in from that. And what I'm scared is that I'm afraid of another nasty event between me and her, and my mom is tired and she's not allowed to witness and interfere another stressful situation again cuz it's not healthy for her wellbeing.AITA on this for telling my mom that my sister is insulting me, then my mom is the one getting insulted at by my sister, who just confronted her about it? Am I wrong to tell my mom about this?I'm worried that my sister would insult me loud enough to wake me up at midnight, and then I won't get a wink of sleep, plus I have school tomorrow and a school activity next week that I want to go to!!! To clear something out, our relationship with me and my sister is really not good, like grudge type of not good, it's been like that since last year !!!Edit: also it's pretty funny that she has the guts to insult me not face to face, but then whenever I go outside my and she's there, she's acting all scared and go somewhere else in the house quickly 🤡 coward much?? like she won't even go outside her room if I'm outside, but she has the guts to antagonize me, cuz recently she was all angry to my mom, and then I came out my room and she was there, she quickly left the scene and called my mom in a sweet tone?? What do y'all think?",AITA for telling my mom that my 23 yr old sister is talking crap and insulting me?,ESH
10xpzli,"Am I the asshole for not forgiving my grandfather for his actions? I apologize in advance for the long story, so sit back and grab some tea cause sh!t about to get real. I have lived with my grandparents for the past 8 years ( I am too young to leave on my own, so getting my own apartment is not an option yet ). For starters, my grandpa is a narcissistic, greedy, ungrateful, selfish, self-centered, self riteous, intolerant, ignorant, arrogant, scumbag who I unfortunately have to live with He treats everyone like he himself is superior.Examples, He expects me to clean up all his garbage and describes me and my mother as his maids. He doesn't clean up after himself, and if we don't, it piles up, and we will quickly live in a landfill. When we had dogs, they would lay peacefully on the floor. If he decided they were ""in the way,"" he would harshly kick them and yell at them to move. He also verbally degrades my grandmother and calls her fat. He calls me disrespectful for telling him he can't bully my 7 year old sister for simply existing. He says I am overly loud that I am ""taking over the house."" All of my belongings are in my room, I don't have a single thing outside of it. There are some longer stories of some of the things he's done. 1.) He abused my mother growing up and now verbally and mentally abuses me, my sister, and my grandmother. He also likes to talk down about my mother and nitpick everything she does when she is literally an overworking angel and does absolutely everything ( bless her heart ) 2.) He thinks he is such a higher power. He is 74 years old, has never worked a day in his life, and likes to brag about how hard he worked for ""his"" house ( It is all owned by my Grandma ). He says how he likes it peaceful and quiet, except for whenever he's around. This hypocrite has the tv volume at 75, and he will blare his music so loud that you can not physically be in the same room without your ears hurting.3.) When christmas, birthday parties, or even just small celebrations occur, he is always glaring from his crusted over arm chair surrounded by old moldy dishes, complaining about everything.Divorce is not an option either. This is essentially what everyone wants. If Grandma were to file for a divorce, he would get 50% of her hard earned money, the house, and so much more.His mother died not too long ago, the sweetest grandma you could have ever met, and he ""takes his time with grieving"" by not signing the funeral papers so my grandma could have had her burial with her husband. Her funeral was delayed by weeks. In conclusion, am I the asshole for not forgiving him? I get told I am since he is family and I should love him since he is. He has never once apologized and continues to do these things to this day.I do school and head straight to work right after. It's only for a couple more years until I'm able to move into an apartment for college. Thank you for reading. Have a wonderful day :)",AITA for not forgiving my grandfather for his actions?,NTA
10xv4ci,"Sorry for such a minor question but I'm just startled this morning.Yesterday, someone from another group in my division at work ran into a software issue and posted a message in a large Teams channel (our official in-office communication method) asking if anyone could help her figure out what's going on. The issue she ran into wasn't in an area I'm familiar with, but I thought another person in my group might know, so I responded to say ""Hey, I think this is \[Jane\]'s area, she might be able to help you"" and made her name a tag to alert her to the conversation.Turns out I was wrong, it's a different person on my team who works in that area, and that person answered the question.This morning ""Jane"" messaged me to say ""Hi, I would appreciate it the next time if you would come to me to see if I know about a topic first without throwing my name out there.""Did I do something wrong by just tagging her in the conversation? Is it somehow harmful or rude to her to point her out as the person to ask without checking with her first? I'm autistic, so it wouldn't be surprising if I made a faux pas here, but this is a new one to me in terms of workplace etiquette.",AITA for tagging my coworker in a conversation that wasn't her area?,NAH
10y0f9j,"i'll try and make this as short as possible. basically my mother had me when she was 18, and she was an awful parent. she was an addict and put me in all kinds of dangerous situations. despite that, i did love her and i defended her every time my grandparents confronted her, even though i didn't know what happened. she sold my stuff, you can probably guess why, but i didn't care. she's my mom, she obviously needed it. when i was 10 she was sent to rehab. my half-sister moved to another state with my stepdad (who i didn't have the best relationship with), and my grandparents became my legal guardians. i know my mom hurt me and my family, but i love her and i do want to reconnect with her one day. i've texted her from time to time, she's in a different state. my grandparents said that if she ever came back into town, they'd tell me, whether i wanted to see her or not.well, i was talking to my aunt/sister, and she said a few months ago my mom came back in town. i don't want to say where she went because i want to stay anonymous, but our house is at least 2 minutes away. my mother was TWO MINUTES AWAY and they never told me.i brought this up, and they said they didn't want to stress me out. i told them that i'm grown and i can make my own decisions on the matter. they said she wouldn't have had time to see me anyways. but it isn't about that- it's the fact that they said they'd TELL ME if she was back in town. i at least would have liked to know so i can decide what to do. anyways, i called them selfish and stormed off. pretty dramatic, i know, but i was so upset. it cooled down later, but it's been a while and i'm feeling guilty. i think i went too far, they might've just been trying to protect me. so tell me, AITA?",AITA for telling my adoptive parents that they are selfish?,NTA
10y0dg8,"Link for original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10uib2d/aita_for_bailing_on_a_trip_with_my_mother_because/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmfI read the rules and hope I’m not breaking any.I saw that some ppl got confused and said things about mother-daughter relationship, I’m a dude. I don’t know if that invalidates the point of my original post, but I can assure my mother-son relationship is very important for me (as much as if I was a girl lol). So yeah, sharing a room with my uncle isn’t creepy, just annoying.UPDATE: Had dinner with my mother yesterday and we straighten things out, good thing I had therapy a day before so I was bulletproof’d to her manipulation.I told her, yet again, how I was feeling neglected and that she overstepped the boundaries I had made. She was really sorry, but both of them already paid and couldn’t cancel without losing a considerable sum of money. I told her to enjoy her trip and good luck in the trips to come because I wouldn’t tag along anymore (as long as uncle was part of it). Again, she cried a lot and suggested that we have another trip in July, just the two of us.That’s what I wanted, right? Well… as soon as I listened to the proposal, I didn’t quite wanted to accept it, I’m still feeling betrayed and more so, the trip that we planned and was preparing for almost 4 months wouldn’t be the same, she will go with my uncle and I have to settle for another destination…I didn’t say “no” yet, I’m not that stubborn and really like to travel with her. It’s just I still got that bad taste in my mouth, but didn’t want to act recklessly. I’m very inclined in traveling with her in July, will just sit on this though for while. Unfortunately I can’t wait too long, otherwise prices will skyrocket.Thanks for all the feedbacks and kind words. Hope this show my relatives that they can’t push me around and infiltrate my well earned vacation.",UPDATE: AITA for bailing on a trip with my mother because she called my uncle to come along without telling me?,NTA
10y0by9,"Long story short I grew up struggling financially and emotionally because of my father’s total neglect.Made through college with my mother busting her ass, loans, scholarships, grants, whatever we could get out hands on.Most of that sorted out through the years but one small amount of debt remained in a government agency that loans to students in financial distress. Cut to my half-sister from my father’s next marriage (after my mother) going to the same agency to get a loan and management connect the dots that my father is her father so before they approve her application they want to collect the old debt from him (nevermind that we are all adults and they shouldn’t try to collect from him if he didn’t sign for me).He won’t speak to me so he sends another family member on his behalf to demand from me full payment because I am the reason my half-sister will not get her application approved.Not looking for legal advise or solutions on how he can avoid paying, but moral opinions on whether I should foot the bill (it is my debt anyways) or just let him figure it out given the lifetime of neglect he subjected me to.",AITA I (40M) refused to pay an old college debt and it affected my half-sister,YTA
10y098z,"This is my first time posting here, sorry for any mistakes, English isn't my first language. I (16) and Vick (16) have been friends since forever. I can't rebember a time where she wasn't in my life. Our relationship went to shit last summer. A bit of a backstory, some months before this summer, she told me she developed this huge emotional attachment to a singer (harry styles, because of course). So, in our school, once the year is over, around june, if you have at most 3 subjects under a 5, you have to take an exam at the end of august. I was already stressed out because i already took it last year and it was difficult for me. I was also having a lot of relationship problems with my family, my friends (who were ghosting me because of their personal problems) and myself (my self worth hasn't always been great). My aunt tried to cheer me up by inviting me to a concert. Harry Styles' concert. I had never been a huge fan, but by that time i would've taken anything to distract myself. Me and my other two cousins would stay in lux for a while and then go to france for it. After everything, i felt so much more relaxed and was ready to begin studying. While in the bus, i texted Vick to tell her i went to the concert and if she wanted i could send her the videos i took. She replied half a second later. She started telling me that she was crying, that she didn't get why i would go and she didn't. She also said things such as ""AND YOU DIDN'T GIVE ME THE TICKET??"" and ""but if you were the one obsessed with harry and me the one with the opportunity to go to his concert you would've been my first thought. It's obvious i wasn't yours."" and ""i would've never demanded that you'd give me your ticket"" saying the opposite of what she said before. Also she didn't respect my pronouns, she kept calling me a she. After half an hour of that i blocked her, told someone to tell her i blocked her, and shut of my phone for about three minutes. I didn't want to cry in the bus next to my cousin so i did this. I turn my phone back on and i see the someone i told to tell Vick that i blocked her had texted me that she was told to tell me to unblock Vick immediately. I didn't want to, because by that time I kept saying sorry to every single text she sent, but i did. Long story short, its been a few months. I didn't pass the exams so i failed the year, now I'm not in the same class as her. I found better friends in this new class. She gave me the silent treatment for months, ignoring every attempt for me to try and explain things to her. Now we only wave when we see eachother. My psychologist told me it wasnt my fault and that by the way she treated me, it was obvious that she always had the capacity to do it anytime i did something wrong. She also said that it was obvious from other sings in the years she wasn't a good friend, but i want someone else's opinion.",AITA for not giving my best friend my ticket to a concert?,NTA
10y07gr,"First of all sorry for the translation mistakes, Since the 6th of February Turkey is preoccupied with an ongoing earthquake disaster,There's a lot of dead and wounded people.we are all so sad about that and trying to recover.Me and my friends try our best to help  As for what happened.All of the schools in Turkey declared holiday until February 20.And my friend posted a picture of ourselves on her story with sharing that information then i added the story to my private account.A random girl replied to my story saying ""You are an asshole because you're happy it's a holiday for school,there are peoples dying and you can find something to be happy about"".We didn't even think about the earthquake when we saw the holiday news,we really didn't mean to hurt anybody while posting it.We were just happy for the holiday as all the students!I feel so bad and strange for it.I never thought people would think like that.AITA for posting it?",AITA for being happy about holiday,YTA
10y04lf,"Forgive any mistakes as this is my first hopefully successful post as I haven't quite figured out how this machine works.I have a friend that we'll call Bob. So Bob and I are really good friends, like brothers tbh. We work in the same field and he actually got me a job when times were tough. Bob and I both drive but earlier last year for the better part of a month I had vehicle issues. I made arrangements with Bob to take public transit to his area so he could pick me up and we'd travel to work together. As a gesture of thanks I would provide him with gas money so that it didn't seem like I was not grateful.Recently the rolls have reversed. Bob's vehicle is down so it's my turn to help out. I agreed with Bob that I would meet him near my area and we'd get to work. It's been almost a month now and Bob's always late. I don't like to be late as I feel punctuality shows respect to whatever the destination requires. Seeing as this has become a routine a few weeks ago I told him I'd come to his house and pick him up so we can avoid being tardy which also provides him more time(15 minites) to get ready. Not only has Bob still has not been able to be on time, I also wait everyday in his driveway between 5 and 15 minutes. On top of that, although I don't expect gas money, he hasn't once offered to chip in. I really wanna leave Bob's ass at home next time he's late but once again, he's like family to me and I don't wanna see him suffer or struggle. I also feel like I do owe him for getting me the job as last year was a nightmare for me( take a peek at my page and you'll get a hint) but how long do I show my appreciation? His tardiness is getting old to me and need to know reddit, am I justified to wanna leave him high and dry, or AITA?",AITA. Taken for a ride and I'm running outta gas.,NTA
10xzztp,"I f(14) wrote something to my group Chat about how I needed more of something i collect, and one of my friends (who I'm not that close with) said ""who asked?"" after I sent that. I stated In my group chat and said ""omg I'm shaking in my boots."" and then after that I sent a message saying ""it's totally not rude at all :)"" and now everyone's calling me an asshole because I said that to him. I felt like my feelings were disregarded because everyone else always says random things like that in the group chat and everyone ale responds to them like they are humans, but I get disregarded? i don't know maybe I'm over reacting but I feel like I'm being replaced and pushed out of the group. what do I do and AITA for saying that?",AITA for getting mad at one of my friends for saying 'who asked'?,NTA
10xyw4r,"TLDR; I am a college student with a chronic illness who is absent from class because of that condition. I have accommodations through the school and my professor is aware of them. She is still threatening to drop my grade just because of my absence, my performance has not dropped, I participate, talk in class, do homework, etc. she recommended that I drop the class. I told her to Retire. Am I the asshole in this situation?I (19enby) go to a small private college in New York. I am taking a class about ethics in chemistry. It is taught by two professors, one a chemist and one an ethics professor. Both are tenured and have been working at this college since before I was born. For some context, I am a full-time education student living off campus, I live with my partner who works full time and we share a vehicle. I have a chronic pain condition and am often unable to get to campus. I informed all my professors and this is the only class that is giving me issues. I handed in an assignment late and she emailed me to check-in. This semester is 15 weeks long, we are only three weeks in. The class meets twice a week for an hour and a half each class. I have missed two class periods and one single late assignment. She informed me that these absences will affect my grade by a whole letter. I was in class today and was the ONLY one that answered the professor's questions. This class is exceptionally easy to grasp and takes little to no brain power to participate. I told her that it is not realistic for 2 absences to affect my letter grade. I am a great student who deserves to get a quality education that I am forking over thousands of dollars and countless hours to pursue.  It is completely ridiculous for university professors to hold attendance over students' heads. I am not a middle schooler I am an adult who has a life outside of this university and medical problems. She retorted that her attendance policy has worked for her for over 30 years and if I am an education major that I should rethink my philosophy. Is this a question of accommodations? I have medical accommodations because of my chronic condition. She has insulted and misgendered me in response to my voicing my opinion that she is not doing her job as an educator to make sure that her students have what they need to succeed. Am I the asshole in this situation?",AITA for telling my professor that they should retire?,YTA
10xr7x9,"I (14M) am in the first year of highschool and we have quite a lot of books to carry to school everyday, so one of my classmates suggested that me and him share our books so that we can bring less weight. But I don't feel comfortable doing that because I am a very private person, and because since I go to school by car, the weight doesn't matter to me that much. He comes with the autobus so it really helps him to bring less weight.WIBTA if I told him no, and stopped sharing books.P.S. sorry for the bad English it's not my primary language",WIBTA for not sharing my book with my classmate,NTA
10xq7ya,"Was I (23F) rude to my boyfriend (32M)? Please let me know if I am TAMy boyfriend (32M) was going to cook me (24F) dinner yday. This is the convo Him: think I’ll make some pesto and steakMe: pesto and steak?Me: I may have Mayo instead xHim: wow way to shoot me down. Not great when your first immediate reaction with to shut me down. I'm just gonna communicate it rather than keep it to myself - It's not a nice feeling when someone's first reaction is to shut down something I've said, especially in the context of when you're talking about cooking something for that person. I would hate to think that I'd ever do that to you, it's not great and it's something I would never do.It's not a big deal but that how i felt above, I hadn't even finished talking through what I was making before your negative reaction. You've done it a few times as well and I don't like it and it ain't nice or respectful. Stop doing it plsMe: I’m sorry I’ve made you feel that way, it’s not my intention. It was just a flippant reaction but shouldn’t have said itHim: I shouldn't have written it isn't a big deal. It is defs something I've communicated previously and I find it disrespectful and is something I've become more aware of and have mentioned a few times now. It'd be nice to receive positive, encouraging things rather than the opposite or feel the things I've said are invalidated. Anyway, I've said my piece, thanks for acknowledging it.Anyway, we need up having an in person chat and he was mad, shouting at me, saying I was rude and disrespectful. He sometimes takes things I say as being rude, in example being we went skiing and *I* had to organise everything and get him to his lessons on time, I asked him to please hurry up as we were going to be late, he didn’t, I asked him to again and he said i was being disrespectful and using a tone he didn’t like.Ironically, last week he decided to inform me that a ‘work friend’ he’s mentioned on multiple occasions and who he meets  outside of work by himself on a regular basis is in fact an ex. But apparently THIS is much more disrespectful Anyway, am I in the wrong here? I’ve apologised many times as I get my comment wasn’t nice but I don’t think I deserve thisAITA for being rude towards him?",AITA (24F) for being rude to my bf (32M) in a comment about dinner?,NTA
10xvrs9,"My friends are calling me a major AH, but I don't think I am.My partner is a terrible communicator.He will agree to call me at a certain time, then he will shut his phone off.Or I'll ask him a question and he won't respond for 7-8 hours.It frequently happens where he goes into DND, or just won't answer his phone, or whatever reason.I finally called out his manipulation when I was getting ready for a big event and he didn't respond because he forgot.Reddit AITA?He's going through a tough time at work, but communication issues have always been there","AITA for saying ""I know your manipulative games""!",NTA
10xtp7j,"two weeks ago i decided to hold a tournament for the game dead by daylight. ive loved it for years and recently got back into it. i setup a server on discord, made brackets, rules and perk bans.when i started advertising it one if the first people to join was a guy im gonna call K. now K had hosted tournaments before on his server and of course to him that meant he knew everything and that he should 100% tell me what to do as well. most of the time i didnt listen and carried on doing it my way. (i should add that this isnt a serious tournament, its for fun and there are no prizes or anything)recently people have been dropping out because of work issues or lack of intrest so i told everyonr it might need to be cancelled. everyone was fine with this, some even helped me out.a new person joined the server and went to the apply channel to join a team, K thought it was a good idea to dm them and recruit them himself. i confronted him about this and here is how that went:k= *me- /hey, not sure if you're getting this but please remove the people from team 2 as three of them left the server. Also add Sarah to our team.*whose sarah?/I messaged her and going to have her on our team*please dont add people to your team by yourself. you didnt all apply as one./I didn't know we need to. Also you have to realize 60% of our team left 🤣At this point we have spots to fill*everyone does/Yeah but your words was we didn't all apply as one. In the beginning we didn't need to do that lol If that was changed, I personally wasn't aware of it*no thats how its always been/Plus she has two other people she's bringing so that benefits our team anyway since we lost three of them.*you dont accept people into other peoples tournements? its just common sense/What are you talking about?All I'm doing is looking for a replacement since three of our team members left Otherwise how are we going to get members 🤣*Okay I realize what you meant by that now. What you're saying is you decide who goes into which team essentially. No comp on this planet does that 🤣*well i fucking do? yknow it gets pretty annyoing when someone is telling me how i should run my tournament./If I'm not allowed to add people to our team then isn't it your job to find replacements?*what does it look like im trying to do?/this is most of the conversation, there are a few messages after but they arent that important and i havent responded yet. AITA for doing this?",AITA for canelling a tournament?,YTA
10xpwbn,"Alright, little backstory to start…I (17m) had a serious problem with pills 3-4 years ago and it really stirred my relationships with both family and friends. I was roughly 5’7 145 lbs at that time (still loved to eat lol) I didn’t tell anyone except my closest friend “KD”. KD (16f) was (and still is, truthfully) someone I feel like I could trust with anything. I went cold turkey in 2020, a few weeks after the lockdown started and she was on the phone with me every night talking me through my problems. Since then, I’ve gained about 100 lbs and stand at 5’11-6’0. I’ve also grown a new insecurity that not many people, apart from KD, know about. Now for the main story…About 2 months ago, I got a ft call from KD just as I was getting ready to leave work. I answer, and it isn’t  KD but one of her friends “WG”. I greet WG even though I’ve only talked to her maybe twice and asked her where KD is. “Are you the one who keeps calling me a white girl?” I froze for a second , because what? “No?” I said. She then tells me that KD told her I’ve been calling her a white girl, along with “You need to get in the gym” and “your new years resolution should be a gym membership” etc etc. She then hands the phone back to KD and I hear everyone at the table laughing, i just hangup the phone in disbelief. I waited about a week and sent KD a vm saying that it was wrong for her to not say anything to her friend and laugh about something she knows I’m sensitive about, that i feel betrayed for telling her so much about my life when she wasn’t willing to back me up when it came to her friends. She texts me that she didn’t hear her say anything and that she never laughed, to which I told her I SAW her laughing and that the fact she covered her ass instead of apologizing for her friends speaks volumes. That even if she didn’t hear her, when she found out that something that disgusting was said that she should’ve let her friend know it wasn’t ok. She said I was being selfish and petty to believe I deserved an apology for something she didn’t do and was out of her control. I think this was an overreaction while I was overthinking a situation that doesn’t really matter in the long run. AITA?",AITA for telling my friend off after she let her friends make fun of my weight?,NTA
10xpmmf,"My friend, Sarah and I, have been good friends since secondary school. We drifted for a while since I we went to separate unis, I dropped out and then got into a relationship with a guy who didn’t allow me to see friends. Thank god that’s over. Fast forwards to now and we’re both around 28. From 20-26 Sarah was dating a girl, they lived together and got a dog together. We saw her girlfriend, Kim, a lot and we eventually all saw Kim as a really good friend. I felt it was a bit different to when your friend has a boyfriend, you don’t tend to be that close with them, but with Kim it just felt like one of the girls/one of our group. Over time we became good friends, not just myself but Kim also formed good friendships with our other school friends.In 2021 they broke up but continued living together, it was quite messy. Sarah was the instigator of the breakup and had wanted it for quite a while, whereas Kim was left still wanting to continue it. Sarah quickly got a new girlfriend who I absolutely love, they moved in together and have been together over a year and are very happy. Because she has a dog, she has to live a bit further out of our city so I don’t see her as often. Kim however moved just 5 minutes away from me, and I see her a few times a week for a lunchtime walk since we both WFH.I have been working at a job for 6 years that I’ve come to hate, and I’m finishing up in just over a week. I realised I had 2-3 weeks off afterwards that I’d want to go travelling in, and I threw the idea out to Kim that perhaps we could go. With just 2 weeks before, I didn’t really expect it to materialise. I needed to book something asap, and it just happened quite quickly. I then was thinking about it more, and decided to give Sarah a heads up out of courtesy. I thought it would be fine since she ended things and is now happy with her new partner, she knows that we’re friends. Turns out it is not fine. She says she finds the fact that we’re all friends with her ex difficult. I even went on holiday last year with Sarah, and it’s not like I don’t also still maintain our friendship. I honestly didn’t think she’d react this way, since she has a new girlfriend and seems so happy.",AITA for going on a trip with my friend’s ex girlfriend,NTA
10xsksq,"So my mum and I got into a fight tonight over my boyfriend. My mum asked me if my partner was going to stay the night. I told her we weren’t and that I would be spending the night at his place. For context we live in a 2 bedroom apartment. There is my mum her partner me my partner and my cousin. My cousin is just visiting and does not live with us. My mum has said she doesn’t like my boyfriend staying with us so much and only wants him to stay 2 nights a week. This is odd as she had no issues in the past as I have had over partners stay with us more. Even having a partner mine in and live with us in the past. She said she was unhappy he had spent the day at my home. He usually works today but he is sick at the moment. TBH he has a horrible hand infection.She said it felt like an invasion of privacy. She complained because she had to be in her room to smoke bud because she doesn’t feel comfortable doing it in front of him. Also weed is illegal where I live and she is a chronic smoker like can’t get high anymore type. She also said it was too much time to spend together and it was strange he was so happy hanging out with our family. I felt judged and hurt by this. I told her I didn’t know he wouldn’t be at work today because he was only told to stay home earlier the same day. I also told her she had a lot of nerve for telling me what to do considering she had told me she was going to borrow 85K earlier that week at the bank. I told her no. She has been making a lot of bad choices lately. Her partner lives there rent free also. If it was just about space as she claimed she wouldn’t have let my cousin stay for 2 weeks on the couch. She also offered to let her move same with her partners son. She has a lot going on in life. She has lost another court case. And i don’t think she is happy with her life and how things ended up. And it’s like given the circumstances, what would she like me to do? I wouldn’t probably come back and visit if my cousin wasn’t there. I think it was was completely unfair to attack me like that by myself. Obviously, my partner is the most important relationship in my life at the moment, so any attack on him, essentially also attack on me. I feel It’s judgmental i don’t tell her how to live her life or what to do in her relationship. I feel like she has hurt my relationship My partner doesn’t want to come over every again. He feels uncomfortable and unwelcome . However I feel like I need some outside perspective so am I the asshole ?",AITA for screaming at my mum and leaving the house ?,ESH
10xsevo,"So my mum and I got into a fight tonight over my boyfriend. I was making some food for everyone for dinner and my Partner was out buying some ingredients. My mum asked me if my partner was going to stay the night. I told her we weren’t and that I would be spending the night at his place. For context we live in a 2 bedroom apartment. There is my mum her partner me my partner and my cousin. My cousin is just visiting and does not live with us. My mum has said she doesn’t like my boyfriend staying with us so much and only wants him to stay 2 nights a week. This is odd as she had no issues in the past as I have had over partners stay with us more. Even having a partner mine in and live with us. She said she was unhappy he had spent the day at my home. He usually works today but he is sick at the moment. TBH he has a horrible hand infection.She said it felt like an invasion of privacy. She complained because she had to be in her room to smoke bud because she doesn’t feel comfortable doing it in front of him. She also said it was too much time to spend together and it was strange he was so happy hanging out with our family. I told her I didn’t know he wouldn’t be at work today because he was only told to stay home earlier the same day. I also told her she had a lot of nerve for telling me what to do considering she had told me she was going to borrow 85K earlier that week at the bank. I told her no. Her partner lives there rent free also. If it was just about space as she claimed she wouldn’t have let my cousin stay for 2 weeks on the couch. She also offered to let her move same with her partners son. She has a lot going on in life. She has lost another court case. And i don’t think she is happy with her life and how things ended up. And it’s like given the circumstances, what would she like me to do? I wouldn’t probably come back and visit if my cousin wasn’t there. I think it was was completely unfair to attack me like that by myself. Obviously, my partner is the most important relationship in my life at the moment, so any attack on him, essentially also attack on me. I feel It’s judgmental i don’t tell her how to live her life or what to do in her relationship. I feel like she has hurt my relationship My partner doesn’t want to come over every again. He feels uncomfortable and unwelcome . However I feel like I need some outside perspective so am I the asshole ?",AITA for screaming at my mum and leaving the house ?,NTA
10xvmdl," I (13m) have very long hair. My mom was out on her daily trip to the bar, and i was left with my grandma, when i walked in she said “youre not my grandson!” i was confused and asked what she meant to which she replied:” youre my granddaughter! look at your ugly hair!”i was taken aback and just gave her a dirty look and sat down, then she went on about how no girl would ever want me and that i would die alone, i was so hested i told her to fuck off and never talk to me again.i walked out of her house and walked a little over a mile to the bar my mom was at. she was very upset snd grounded me for a month because my grandma called and told her what had happened when i was walking to the bar.i may be the asshole because even tho what she said is fucked up, she is still my grandma after all and i dont want her to never talk to me again.",AITA for telling my grandma to fuck off and never talk to me again?,NTA
10xql5w,"Me and my gf planned on Friday night that we would meet up at a location to have lunch at 3pm because she had work there and because I won’t have lunch at home. it’s 20+mins from my home. On that day (sat) I got up late around 12.15pm and chatted with her till 1pm. At 1.20pm got a message from her saying she will finish at 2pm. I couldn’t make it, tried to rush because I didn’t wana to argue. At 2pm she just tell me I don’t have to come anymore since I’m not out yet, that she will go back home and ask her parents to pack food for her. I tried to remind her we had a plan and I won’t have lunch at home since we agree to have it together and I’ll depart in 10mins. She complained about having to wait for long and told me I was supposed to leave at 2pm. After implying that she didn’t want to wait, twice, she just said “take ur time”. I got super annoyed about it and voiced out the fact that she had to understand that she changed plan at the last hour and should’ve been more understanding and tolerant that I couldn’t make it on time. I did not tell her I got some errands to run since we agreed on 3pm because I know I could make it. That got heated up and started an argument. Also tried to explain that it’s not fair for me for her to be pissed at me when she changed the plan and she should’ve either waited or suggest something an alternative since she implied strongly that she didn’t want to wait for me. So Am I The Assh*le?",AITA for not being at meeting location when my gf finished her errand earlier?,NTA
10xq7ei,"Some months back, a boy, let's call him Sad from my class and i dated each other. But it lasted only a day. It was because he was acting very cringey and i couldn't handle it. Even though we were in the same class, we never really talked with each other before let alone exchange greetings. He asked me out not because he liked me or anything but because he just wanted to be in a relationship because his friends were making fun of him. And i also said yes because the relationship was just going to be casual one. After the supposedly one day relationship ended, everything was like before. I didn't talk to him, he didn't talk with me. It was just like we were doing our own things. Then, one day he texted me and asked if I had finished writing the observations for the practicals (we both take science) and asked me send him the photos if have finished. Sending photos of observations was common between friends. But the thing is Sad and i were never really friends to begin with. But as he was my classmate, i sent him the observation notes for chem, bio and phy from beginning till the end. From time to time, he asked for various notes and i sent him. Around Christmas last year, we had special classes in school for 5 days. I was sick and couldn't attend classes for 2 days. But S attended all the classes. After the classes were over, he again texted me to send him the special classes notes apparently because he couldn't read his handwriting. I told him i was absent so i didn't have the notes with me. But the audacity of this guy! He told me to copy the notes quickly from my friend so i could send him. I was mad. So i told him i didn't have time for it and told him to ask his friends. Some days back during exams, he again asked me for observation notes. The timing he asked was really not a good one. I was really stressed during that time and he wasn't even considerate of my time. He kept begging and told me to ask my friends to send the notes, which i didn't. He was not someone who didn't have any friends. In fact, he was friends with all the guys in our class and half of the girls. And there's even this girl who he's been chasing for so long. But instead of asking them, he asked me who he has never talked to in person (yes, we've never talked in person) and sometimes was inconsiderate when I was sick but still kept asking for notes.AITA?",AITA for not sending class notes to my ex anymore?,NTA
10xpvvn,"the title is weird, i know. i (13M) have struggled with my mental health for about 2 years now. my mother knows this. i had an awful day at school today as well, and when i got home i just went to bed. my mum (48F) came in and dragged me out of bed to come eat some dinner before going back to sleep. i have an eating disorder (yes i have been diagnosed) and usually when im not having a great day i really struggle with eating. my mother again knows this, and she knows when i go take a nap after school its because its been an awful day and i need a break from socialising and im overstimulated (im autistic, once again diagnosed).i get into the kitchen and she takes out some cheese and asks if i want some. i politely say ‘no thank you’ and smile. she begins to cut me some anyway and says that im too skinny and should eat some. i once again politely decline and say i dont want any. she then says ‘come on, i bought it because i know you like it, just eat it’. by this point im on the verge of tears because i didnt want to wake up, i didnt want to eat anything, but im doing it anyway and now she wont let go of some dumb cheese. i tell her ‘ive already declined twice, i dont want any’. she said ‘if i got this angry st you whenever you didnt listen id be angry st you all the time.’ she says im being unfair and rude and that im overreacting.i dont think i am, and she always does this with food even though it just makes me upset.AITA?edit - accidentally typed her age wrong",AITA for getting upset when my mum kept offering me cheese?,NTA
10y0vp1,"Background: Me and my wife have a 3 year old Tommy. My wife has a friend ""Stevie"" she's known him since high school and they are very good to best friends. I have 3 brothers, my wife has one sister. Stevie means well but he's never been good with boundaries. He lives nearby so sometimes will pop in unannounced. Before anyone insinuates anything, he's gay, there's nothing romantic between them. Most of the time he's alright around Tommy but something that really grinds my gears is that lately he's been calling himself ""Uncle Stevie"" to Tommy and uses that word all the time. We are trying to teach Tommy what words mean and family relationships. Since he has 3 bio uncles + my SILs husband as an Uncle I've asked him to stop that so he learns what Uncle means. He'll say ok and go right back to it. I don't care if he wants a nickname but we are trying to teach our kid a vocabulary and its confusing him. My wife agrees and has asked him to stop but when he doesn't listen she just says whatever. Yesterday he came over unannounced again and did the same thing and we kind of got into it. My wife says Im overreacting and should just get over it. Maybe she's right but it really annoys me, admittedly more than it probably should. Am I just being an AH here?",AITA for telling my wife's best friend to stop telling our kid he's their uncle?,YTA
10y2aqd,"My (20M) girlfriend (19F) is autistic and her special interest? (I think that’s what it’s called) are stuffed animals. She collects hundreds. But her favorites are these bunnies made to represent emotions. (Think edgy care bears)She’s told me multiple times to never hurt or take away her stuffed animals. (An ex would take them away from her as punishment) I’d never dream of causing harm to something so important to her.Her favorite bunny (the angry one) has gone missing. I knew she was attached to her stuffed animals, but ever since she realized he’s gone, she’s been going off the walls. She can’t sleep and spends hours searching for him every day. If she does sleep, it’s because she cried herself out. She hasn’t been doing her online classes because she’s been spending so much time searching every part of her entire house. It’s basically consumed her entire life for the past week almost.While I was FaceTiming her last night, I said that she should check by her nightstand for her bunny. She asked me why, and I told her that I saw him fall there before we left to go to my house last Saturday.After hearing that, she became distraught and started saying that it’s my fault her bunny is gone. In her mind, I watched him fall to his death and did nothing.I know her stuffed animals are important to her, but we were on our way out the door and I thought nothing of it. I didn’t even remember that I saw him fall until last night.AITA?Edit: Please stop telling me to leave her over this. She is an amazing woman and is incredibly deep, intelligent, and thoughtful. Yes, she has some eccentric tendencies and is very attached to her stuffed animals. But I love seeing how happy they make her.",AITA for “disappearing” my girlfriend’s stuffed animal?,NTA
10y07ae,"I live in California.Law and local ordinance says an apartment must have a kitchen sink and have no less than 250 sq feet of living space.I rented an apartment for 1.5 years that had neither of these things.I still live in the same apartment building but in a new unit that has all the state and city requirements. This month all covid relief for rent payment is over, and the landlord is getting serious about collecting rent. I’ve been consistently paying my rent on time all through covid, and have not taken advantage of the system like some other tenants did. This month I happened to be a little behind because my bonus came late, and agreed to pay on the 15th when I get paid. The landlord and I had this conversation and said not to sweat it I won’t get a late fee or anything and should be back on track to pay on the first for march’s rent. Queue a knock on my door and being delivered a 3 and 30 legal notice. This basically says I have 3 days to pay up or 30 days to move out. This is a bonafide legal notice and the first step in getting a tenant evicted. Needless to say I’m livid about it because we had this conversation and instead he still decided to hit me with a notice like this. I knew this unit was illegal after about a year of living in it, but thought I’d be cool about and not pursue anything since I was in a tough spot and I liked the location. But after this nonsense and me having to scramble and get my paycheck early I’ve decide to start the legal process against this illegal rental.The good news is I’ll get back around $30k in rent if I win the case. The bad news is a few tenants that now rent the illegal units will probably have to leave until they can convert them and make them legal again. Ultimately, I was taken advantage of and so are these tenants (who will likely be able to get back rent too and find a new place) I’d like to prevent others from being robbed like this and also bend him over a legal barrel cause that’s what he’s trying with me. Am I the asshole here?",AITA for suing my landlord for back rent over an illegal rental?,NTA
10y1en0,"Edit: up top I should clarify that I intended to say “acting like a scold/jerk” because I realized the usage of the word “narc” can mean both tattle tale and shorthand for narcissist, neither of which I’m going for but the intended meaning is closer to the former Okay, so I have this friend I’ll call Penelope. Penelope is a friend of mine from college who I’ve known for many years. She’s very smart and generally fun to be around. But recently I’ve been getting progressively more annoyed and even angry with her online behavior regarding COVID. Penelope is already an anxious person prone to agoraphobia, and the pandemic has absolutely worsened these things within her to the point that I worry about her mental health a lot of the time. I try to be understanding of this, but she has a tendency to shame me, other friends, and even strangers online for how we choose to behave in public.     For the record, I’ve done my best to do things “right” regarding COVID: I’ve had all my shots, I mask up in public, I stay home when I’m sick and I try to test before I go to any big gatherings. While it is absolutely still a massive problem that our (US) government has totally dropped the ball on and should be doing more to fix, I also acknowledge that we are fundamentally at a different point than we were in 2020. I have more or less “returned to normal”, just with masks and some modifications. This doesn’t fly with Penelope AT ALL. She is at essentially the same level of alarm I’d expect from someone in the thick of the pandemic back in March/April 2020. She’s gone on rants in our friend group chats before about how we’re all risking our lives if we go to a movie or go out to eat. One time she saw my friend post a picture of himself WITH A MASK ON and replied “that should really be a KN95 but it’s your funeral”. I don’t post any pictures in that chat where I’m not wearing a mask anymore unless it’s of me alone in my house because I know I’m going to get an earful about how “you’re making life harder for the immunocompromised by gathering with people you don’t live with (those people being the five or six friends and family members I actually live by and see regularly since I live alone). I swear to god she must key word search for things on twitter because basically her entire social media presence is her quote tweeting people taking unmasked pictures together and shaming them. Thinking about, being worried about, and getting angry with people about COVID is 80% of what she talks about now, and I find it incredibly draining. I’m frankly getting kind of tired of being told by her and people like her that I am personally doing eugenics against the disabled for going to a bar maybe once a month. There has to be a middle ground here between “no rules everyone free for all COVID is harmless and isn’t even real” and “everyone who leaves their house is my sworn enemy”. Am I a jerk for not engaging with her about this and being mad about it? She’s actively pushing people in her life away as a result of this and I just worry she’s going to become a total recluse because of her one-woman crusade on all things COVID.",AITA for thinking my friend is acting like a narc?,NTA
10y0ir5,"I (30F) have a college friend (29F) that I used be sort of close with. She considered me her best friend at one point, but honestly, I never felt that way about her.For context, she was that really needy friend who didn't make the best life choices. She'd sleep with the worst men, cry about it, and repeat the cycle. It was so toxic. One day, she met this Korean guy that she dated and got pregnant with. She knew I hated him. For one, he verbally and physically abused her, even when she was pregnant. Second, she even dropped out of college because of him. I tried my best to protect her, bec even though I never felt close to her, she's still a good person and did not deserve that.When she got pregnant with his kid, I asked her over and over again if she was sure she wanted to be with this person. Take note: her family would have been perfectly able to help her raise the kid. She told me she was fine and that he was trying his best to change.Long story short, they got married, moved to S.Korea and had two more kids -- that was 9 years ago. We stayed in touch, and unfortunately, he continued to do bad things to her. I tried as much as I could to help her, whether it was listening to her or being there when she needed to talk to someone. However, the cycle kept continuing, and even though she knew the guy was terrible, she kept choosing him.Eventually, we stopped talking as much. Didn't even greet each other on our birthdays, Christmas, etc. The falling out happened over a span of 4 years.Cut to a couple of weeks ago, after 4 years of not talking, she suddenly calls me to tell me she was coming back. Of course I asked why, but she said she'd talk about it with me once she got back. I don't know what happened to her over the course of the 4 years she was gone. Her reason for coming back was bec ""Guy told me to try and do something for myself and find my purpose"" (wc I call complete BS). Not only that, but she's even bringing her three kids -- without her husband.But here's the thing, I don't want to talk to her or reconnect with her. When I talked to her, it felt so heavy, like something I shouldn't get involved in. I'm touched that I was the first person she called about the news, but honestly, I'm in a very diff place than I was 9 years ago. I've got my career set out, I'm supporting my family, and my mental health has finally been getting better after years of PTSD. We're at two very different places in our lives, and I really think it'd be unfair for me to be there for her the same way I was before bec I never saw her as a ""best friend""She's been asking to meet, and while it is true that I have been really busy, I don't think I have the emotional capacity to help her out, nor do I think I have any resources to help her.",AITA for not meeting up with a friend who had just moved back?,NTA
10y032n,"So my now ex bestfriend (we'll call her Margarot) got mad at me for not inviting HER 2 friends (we'll call them Lizzy and Pam) to MY bday party. Pam and Lizzy were not my kind of crowed, we never could see eye to eye. I always made sure to distance myself from the 2 of them cause they reminded me of the mean girls who used to bully me in high school, and I didn't want them there cause ik they would screw up my day. They always do btw. So I just figured it was my day and I just wanted my close friends there to celebrate w me. But a couple of days prior Margarot asked me why Lizzy and Pam haven't received their invites yet. I told her I didn't want them there cause they're not my friends their hers and I just wanted a small intimate dinner w my closest friends. She got mad and call me a selfish B, basically telling me I could stick my invites up my a**. I was so taken aback cause I've never see this side of her. It's what shocking to say the least. I just kept my mouth shut and asked her to please leave before I say something I'll reget. She left, red face and pissed. I just figured she needed to calm down and reflect a bit. But little did I know this wasn't the end of her outburst, she and her 2 friends decided to crash my bday dinner. They showed up and acted like nothing's wrong. At this point I've had enough and I was pissed. I asked them to leave, they refused and said they didn't understand why I was throwing a tantrum and called me a baby and that I should  ""stop whining, jeez."" This is where the fun begins !!! I just kept quiet, me and my other friends ordered the most expensive food and beverages. I texted them my plan in our group chat, they all agreed to it. We played nice for the remainder of the night. When we were sated we told the we wanted to take pictures outside, they were still busy eating and in deep conversation and didn't pay us any mind. We left the restaurant without paying, I sent Margarot a message as we got into the Uber thanking her for my Bday present. She responded asking what I was talking about. Replied ""the dinner bitch, much appreciated. Love you xxx."" We haven't spoken in 2 years.",AITA For not inviting my bestfriend's friends to my Bday party and getting revenge ?,ESH
10y1j6w," I (21f) am currently 31 weeks with my first child, its a girl. I am currently on the fence if i am the asshole in this situation. All this started when my step-dad paid for a repair on my car (I have that posted to my profile for more context) Even after I told him for the reapir not to be done and that I was going to find another solution.Well now they're constantly messaging me when will I pay him back. Its been an ongoing issue. Well my mom is hosting a baby shower next month for me but is demanding to pay back the money I ""owe"". I cannot pay her back since I only work part-time not making much and will have no paid maternity leave. Which she knows. She has given me so much stress regarding this issue and I have reached my limit. I told her to cancel the baby shower and get her deposit back from the venue if she needs the money that bad. I said this due to her constantly asking for the money when she knows I do not have it. She had caused me so much stress, anxiety, anger and sadness through out this whole pregnancy and I offically reached my limit. My MIL was already hosting a baby shower for me and knows the whole situation and has said to invite my family to the one she is hosting so I can have them there. Well this pissed my mom off even more claiming I am denying her rights to my daughter. I am not denying her anything. I am just so mentally tired from her. Especially since I know my baby feels my emotions and I do not want her to feel anymore negativity.Now that I am more calm I am questioning if I made the right move. I am just so tired of my mom wanting to control my pregnancy and have everything her way. I am tired of her not respecting my decisions and emotions.",AITA for Canceling a Baby Shower my Mom is Hosting?,NTA
10y17w7,"A little background… my mother in law had a major surgery over a month ago.  I work from home and help with the kids.  My wife stays home watching the kids and doesn’t have a paying job. We have 3 little kids under the age of 6.  Everyday for the past month, my wife has been at her mom’s house, helping with drains and keeping her company.  Leaving me with the 3 kids while I work from home for most of the day, everyday.  I’ve been more or less ok with this arrangement.  But it slowly and gradually became more and more of a strain on me.  And it doesn’t help that my wife’s father and siblings could help out more… but they simply don’t.So it all came to a head yesterday.  My wife went and got her hair done.  I’m ok with that.  She hasn’t had her hair done in a long time and she deserves a little time off.  But then after the appointment, my wife called and said her mom needed a car ride to the doctor.  My wife asked if I could stay with the kids a few more hours and pick up the oldest from school as well.Me: Ok… where is the doctor?  Her:  A couple blocks down the street.  Me:  Why can’t her husband take her?  Her:  Because he is picking up a grandkid from school.  Me:  So what was her plan to get to the doctor?  Her: She was going to drive herself.Me:  And why can’t she drive herself?Her:  She can, but she really shouldn’t be driving until 6 weeks after the surgery.This is where I got a little pissed (didn’t help the kids were screaming in the background the whole time): I’ve been home alone all day with the kids while working this entire time.  This whole thing is getting a little too crazy.  If she said she can drive, and her own husband doesn’t want to drive her, then she can drive herself.Her:  Fine.  (She then hangs up and comes home)Silent treatment and one word answers from my wife ever since.Reddit, AITA?",AITA for insisting my wife helps me instead of her mom?,NTA
10y0sk1,"So me and my family dad, mum and brother are finding a situation really hard. In 2018 we suddenly lost my nana (dads mum) to cancer. It was awful. My grandad now has a new ‘lady friend’ which we are all very happy of. We don’t want him spending his days locked up in his house watching tv for the rest of his life (he was 66 when my nana passed (his wife.) He lives 2 hours away but he pushed it on us to meet his new girlfriend and she came to our house as well which we felt a bit uncomfortable by. They’re very much a touchy romantic couple and honestly it’s so hard for all of us to see because of nana. He wants to come visit again with her but my dad took my nanas death the hardest and he just doesn’t want to see them together but we have no idea how to talk to him and tell him we don’t want to see her with him at the moment. Are we the assholes?",AITA for not wanting to see my grandads new girlfriend?,YTA
10y1rnz,"Hello, I moved from my home to college dorms, it's 8 hours by train to home so I go home once a month for 3-4 days. When I was leaving I didn't know how it is in dorms and if I can move my orchids there (10 plants at that time, oncidium, dendrobiums, phalaenopsis, maxillaria, wilsonara, brassia species), so I left them home and my mom promised to take care for them. I care for my orchids a lot, I had some in very bad shape at discount or as a gift, I nursed them back to health. During summer I rise early to move them to morning sun (or sometimes leave them in garden all night) then I move them under balcony to shadow before it's too hot (9-10am). When the weather is very hot I mist them ever 1-2 hours... I cared for them daily for mkre than 2 years I keep them. It was autumn and soon it was too cold to ship them by post service and I was very stressed at the beginning of school year to find some place for them in dormitory. However their state started to be worse and worse and I was frustrated and sad because of that, my mom doesn't know how to care for them, she is trying and I know that.. in recent months I lost two orchids and I was very sad, angry and frustrated about it. I don't say mean stuff to my mom, but I'm unhappy, she is unhappy telling me she is trying. I know that she is, however I'm still unhappy about the situation, about the lose of my plants... They aren't any valuable hybrids, but I have put so much time, attention and care for them. Preparing medium - soaking coconut husk and charcoal for several days, changing and filtering water every day just to repot them... it's my personal bond to these plants specifically I created over time, since I saw them grow and bloom and become stronger. Sometimes I get frustrated and snappy about them when talking with my mom about yet another problem: salt residuals, rot, bacterial infection, fungal infection, sun burns, over and under watering... My mom is telling me I care for it way too much and it's only plant and she will buy me another, I try to be nice, but I can't help being sad and devastated when I return home and they are in such a sad state. I plan to rehome them to dorms in spring time when it's possible to ship them.So am I overreacting about it? Am I asshole for caring about my plants way too much?EDIT: I include the winter care I would like my mom to do... winter care is basically just watering and fertlizing. I told her how to water and how to fertilize. When to water which plants, when fertlize.. she doesn't need to move them, mist them or anything right now, I don't want her to repot them nor prepare mediums, I do it myself. I just included it to point out how much work and time it was.Some are at winter rest so they don't need watering at all right now. She is working full time, so I don't expect her to mist them 50 times a day.. just water them, check them every day to look if there is any fungus forming, how wet they are, if it's time to water or not and ask me if she see something unusual. It took 15mins a day to check them for fungus or infection and weird occurances. Then watering days consist of preparing a bath with warm water, placing them in the bath then leaving them there for.. well as long as you want, she can go shopping, cleaning, watever and take them out at evening.",AITA for being disappointed because of my orchid collection is dying in mother's care,YTA
10y1xwl,"My wife's dad is sick and had to spend a bunch of days at the hospital in a different country. He is an extremely wealthy man with a lot of illiquid assets (lots of property, ~~cats~~ cars, a literal mansion with a pool, etc.,) while I'm an immigrant where I've saved meticulously over years to build  a decent nest egg. I also support my aging mom back in my home countryHe has sons who have squandered away his money philandering on women, gambling and drugs. And now none of them are able to pay the hospital bills so they turned to my wife who obviously asked me for money (she doesn't work and has been a housewife for a couple of years). My wife feels like she has to help here because it is her dad and her brothers are apparently not able to get any loans to pay the billsI'll have to pull the money from our savings which as we all know is quite important in these uncertain times and I'm quite nervous to do that, in case I come into an emergency because I really have nobody else or no other savings to fall back onI really want to say no but I also don't want her to feel like I'm their first option whenever they need money (which it looks like it is and her brothers maybe manipulating her). WIBTA if I refuse to give any money in this situation?",WIBTA for refusing to pay for my FIL's surgery?,NTA
10y1bd5,"I (22f) got into a fight with 2 friends in my friend group for separate reasons.The first one who I will call Josie (21f), randomly stopped meeting up with me to study. We had similar university schedules so we met up often. One day out of the blue she just didn’t want to study with me. She said she wanted to study in a different building than me that day. I said sure and moved on. It happened a few more times and the times I did see her I felt tension like smg wasn’t right. So another day, where she randomly told me she didn’t want to see me, I just asked her over text if smg was wrong since I literally never saw her in person anymore. She said no and then sent me texts calling me selfish and saying that I’m never at school anymore (which is not true since I go to school on weekends just to study bc I concentrate better there, my classes are also all 4 hrs). I got angry while texting back since I felt like I was just getting yelled at. So I finally took a break from the conversation and calmed down. Hours later, I sent her a last text saying that we should discuss this in person diplomatically and not over text and to let me know when she would want to do that. She has left me on read since November but according to my other friends she is saying that it’s my job to come talk to her bc I caused the argument. My friends are saying not to reach out.My other friend Lydia (21f), (which I’ve posted about before so you guys can go read that if u would like), had started treating my bf not very well. To the point that she started treating me the same way even if he was not there. This included ignoring both us whenever we spoke, a change in tone whenever my bf spoke or I mentioned him etc. It got to the point that other friends of mine came up to me to lmk that she had been ranting about my bf to them for hours on end. They were worried and asked me to talk to her.  So I did, in person. She ended up walking out mid convo (she did have a train to catch), but she walked out quite intensely. Everyone in the cafe we were at were just staring at me after she left. She has not texted me since and my other friends have also lmk that she expects me to fix the situation. My friends again think it is not my fault and not up to me to reach out.I still feel terrible and think maybe I am at fault bc I’m the one in fights with 2 ppl while no one else is having a problem. I also feel bad for the friend group bc now they have to deal with the consequences of my actions. I also am annoyed bc I feel like I am always the one expected to fix everything. So Reddit AITA for not reaching out and fixing both situations?",AITA for not reaching out and reconciling?,NTA
10y2f40,"My husband suffers with heavy depression and lack of friends. Few months ago I saw a notification of a reddit post of something like ""female looking for friends"". Well he cheated me in the past and I found out in a similar way, so call me disrespectful, but I found his profile and went through his comments history. I saw a lot of comments on reddit posts of girls looking for friends, people to chat with, stuff like that. I decided to come clean and talked to him about it, said I was uncomfortable especially because he only answered posts of girls looking for friends (he is a straight male). He was extremely upset, said he was only trying to make friends and that he gets along better with girls, but agreed to stop. Well he is back at it again. I felt bad in the past for asking him to stop, specially because it shows a lack of trust... So, the question is, AITA for asking him to stop?",AITA for telling my husband to stop looking for female friends online?,NTA
10y20t8,"…after he and MIL threw a tantrum the week before the wedding when I told them it was too late to add more guests to the guestlist?  They threatened to not pay for the rehearsal dinner if they didn't get their way and then they threatened to not come to the wedding at all if DH and I didn't have a sitdown meeting with them THE WEEK OF THE WEDDING where they proceeded to belittle our relationship (they admitted to hacking DH's phone so they could read our text exchanges in order to dig up some ""dirt"" on our relationship) and tried to convince us to breakup or at least postpone the wedding until a time when more of their friends could attend (We sent out Save the Dates 8+ months in advance-anyone who wanted to come had plenty of time to plan). When we didn't breakup, they decided to serve food they know I'm allergic to at the rehearsal dinner without warning me - knowing if I ate the food, I'd likely be too sick to get married the next day (luckily, someone else warned me). After that, I was really uncomfortable with having someone who clearly doesn't support us and was actively trying to sabotage our wedding in our wedding party. I told DH how I felt and he agreed. DH instead asked his father to ""just be a dad"" and sit with MIL on the front row instead of being a groomsman. Naturally, his parents pitched a fit, made a scene at the reception, and have since made up countless lies about the events leading up to the wedding and in all of their versions, they are the victims and i'm the villain. It's been five months since the wedding and they are still refusing to speak to us until I apologize for essentially being the a-hole.",AITA for kicking my FIL out of the wedding party,NTA
10y12z7,"My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. Within the past two years however, he's begun to listen to podcasts almost constantly. He has a right or left earbud (never both) in at least 90% of the time. It's very annoying when I try to talk to him and he doesn't notice so I say it again.. and he still doesn't acknowledge me. It's been like this for so long that I just feel a bit tired of trying to communicate with him. At first, he would walk around and do stuff around the house while listening to the podcast. I thought he was blatantly ignoring me when this happened, which caused us to argue. However, when he explained about honestly not hearing me, I chilled out a bit. But then he began to just sit around the house, nose engrossed in his phone *and* having an earbud in. It's the worst when I'm trying to do something around the house and I need help, or if one of our three kittens has gotten into something and it's somewhat of an emergency. Those are the times it makes me the most mad because he's not there when I need him. We've had many conversations about this, and he doesn't say much other than 'I'm sorry, I'm not ignoring you, I just honestly can't hear you' or 'you speak so softly'. I am a soft-speaker I'll admit, but when I try to speak louder it most of the time doesn't work. I'll end up having to yell, and by that point I'm yelling out of having to repeat myself so many times. I have learned to be more self-sufficient, especially when doing things around the house. But like I mentioned, sometimes there are emergencies with the house or kittens that I need help with (example: explosive diarrhea through the hallway, or the washer begins to flood the bathroom). He hasn't cut down on his podcast time, he doesn't help around the house unless I ask him, and yet he continues to be (what I feel is) unavailable. It's like having a conversation with him about this issue (our *main* issue) never helps. I also want to add that I'm the main financial supporter of us both; this past summer was the first time he had a stable job while we lived together and that was because I really explained how hard it is living off of one income. He is on unemployment now, as he has a seasonal job and is off for the winter. This adds more to fuel to the fire, so I can see how the earbud situation might only be a veiled excuse for me to take my frustrations out on him.  I feel I may be the asshole for expecting him to change or to adjust his 'ways' to accommodate me. But at the same time, I want more support and a better connection/clear communication with him. TLDR: My boyfriend constantly has an earbud in his ear and doesn't hear me until I yell what I am trying to say to him. This is especially inconvenient when there is an emergency or I need urgent help with something.",AITA for becoming angry when my partner doesn't hear me? He has an earbud in one ear almost constantly.,NTA
10y11i5,My friend and so haven’t seen each other in over 6 months so we planned to meet up. We don’t live close so we were both going to meet in a location closer to the middle. For this I said I would travel further and even stay with family in the area so that it would work out. We have had these plans for weeks and I was supposed to leave after work to drive the 2.5 hours it takes to get there. I work up this morning to a text saying that they wanted to go but the timing will no longer work out since it’s a lot of travel after work. I am mostly annoyed Becuase I am completely not surprised by the cancelation as they have done this many times. AITA for getting annoyed with them?,AITA for getting mad at my friend for canceling last minute?,NTA
10y2qqo,"I (20F) have been concerned about my brother's (17) mental health for the past year, he used to be the goofy kid of the house but since Jan last year he's gone weird. All he does now is work (he runs Instagram pages), study, workout, read and write in his little diary. Our family does movie night every Saturday he stopped showing up. He doesn't see his friends anymore and doesn't speak to anyone in general, he's become a rock I'm terms of emotions. All day working like a maniac, His hair have gone white at such a young age too, I was concerned for him.So last week when he was gone with our mum, I took the chance and read his journal. It was uniformly split into three sections labelled 'ideas' (filled with random thoughts), 'intellect' (filled with stuff Idek), 'useless stuff', the useless stuff section was filled with stuff you'd share with your mum crying in her arms. It even contained events from back when he was 12 and he overheard our mum telling me his art is stupid (he used to draw decals) and how what he feels like isnt valued  in this family and noone in this world would even cry if he k-word himself (even tho noone really liked him having around as he was loud but I don't think he isn't loved by us)When he got back I hugged him and he got mad at me and said it's the only valued thing he's got and hasn't spoken to me since, he didn't even tell mum, I'm scared idk what to do. Am I in the wrong here?Edit: yes I have been trying to get him to open up to me, but he won't listen, he just won't talk... I just wanted to let him know he's wrong and loved not abandoned.",AITA for reading my brother's journal??,YTA
10xz9pp,"Background : I'm (26 F) married to my husband (26 M) for few months now, we are together for 7 years. We adopted a puppy last year and we have been training since he was 4 months old.To the problem.Our dog now is 11 months old, weights 35 kg. He is very strong, but mostly behaves well.Last week we went for a walk and our dog noticed another dog and started to pull me from the hill. It resulted into loosing control and hitting my hand against the street light.In the end it was confirmed that my finger is broken and surgery is needed. Yesterday successful surgery was performed, but I will need the cast for at least a month.My husband refused to use collar that evening and used chest collar. He believes it's too harsh to use it even though it was recommended by our trainer. TLDRAITA for wanting to use neck collar on our dog to stop or reduce the pulling?",AITA for wanting to use collar on my dog?,NAH
10y2o22,"This is a bit of a weird situation, I’m not gonna lie.  So I work at a daycare and I have IBS and some other digestive issues. This means that I have to go to the bathroom and sometimes it can’t wait and sometimes it takes me a little bit. The longest is twenty minutes. Whenever I have to use the restroom and I know it’ll be longer, I ask a coworker (who is also my mom) to cover for me. She does not have anything to do during this timeframe. My boss yelled at me today saying that I cause my coteacher and my mother undue stress because I use the bathroom (once in the morning, around the same time everyday) and it takes me “40” minutes to go. (It has NEVER been like that).My boss says it’s too stressful on my coteacher because she’s alone, but my mother is in there with her and is helping her. She says it causes my mother stress because she is unable to do her tasks. But my mother is always free during this time. And she says that the kids are always thrown off their routine because I have to use the bathroom for 5+ minutes once a day.  And she’s saying that she doesn’t know what to do with me or how to proceed because this is I’m stressing all my coworkers out and it’s just not working with me needing the bathroom. But I don’t understand how a bodily function is stressing the kids out? Everyone uses the bathroom so I’m just confused here. I can’t control when I have to use the bathroom or how long it will take. I do what I can to not have to use the bathroom multiple times per day. I take a probiotic and I don’t eat at work for fear that something I eat will cause a flare-up. So am I an asshole for needing to use the bathroom?",AITA for using the bathroom at work?,NTA
10y0kck,"I’m probably justified for doing what I did legally, but my brother called me an asshole Karen for yelling at the neighborhood kids when they were just being kids and having fun, so I feel conflicted.I live in Scandinavia, non-English native, on mobile and so on.Me(F29) live alone in my house about 15minutes from the closest small city nearby. It’s a nice house with a big backyard for my two dogs. I’ve been out of work since September -22 due to a pretty serious injury that gave me nerve damage to both my arms and shooting pain up my spine and neck. Hence, I sleep a lot due to my medications and a very recent surgery, 2 days ago. Since it’s been snowing where I am, the local kids(15-16 yo) have been doing some ice racing with their moped cars on the icy road outside my house. It’s a public road and I understand fully that people drive there, I don’t really mind the traffic.However, for the last 3/4 days these kids have been driving like absolute maniacs along the road, skidding, swerving and sliding like they’re getting paid to do so. If it was only during the day I wouldn’t have brought this up to them, but when they’re driving around outside my house at 10pm-4am, skidding, roaring their engines and playing loud music I lose it. I’ve called the non-emergency line and they’ve sent out officers to speak with the kids, but nothing has changed. I understand that the police have a lot more important things to do than to deal with rascals, but I was at a loss on what to do.So I headed outside last night at about 1am to waive the kids down. One of them stopped and the following conversation happened:Kid: Hey, enjoying the music?Me: Hi, listen- I understand that you guys are enjoying yourself, but perhaps you could do the drifting at the IKEA parking lot a few km away, or at the train station’s parking lot where you’re not bothering anyone?Kid: Nah, the ice here is better for drifting.Me: Do you think you think you guys could maybe at least keep it down after midnight then? I’m very tired and just wanna go to sleep.Kid: Have you tried using earplugs? Me: Look, I get that not many people live here, but those that do don’t enjoy listening to your shitty music or the sound of your engines running all night. Kid: Okay, we’ll stop when we’re done.The kid proceeded to drive off, only to turn around and keep on driving on the road, roll their windows down and turn up the music even louder. I lost my cool and yelled at them to fuck off, giving them the finger before I went inside and called the police again.When the cops came out, roughly an hour later, they were long gone. I gave them a description of the cars involved(as these don’t have license plates here), the kids and told them what happened. I know I’m legally in the right for what I did, as the cops told me they’re disturbing the peace with doing what they did this late, but am I the asshole for yelling and acting like a Karen?",AITA for yelling at the neighborhood kids?,NTA
10y1evd,"edit: sorry title should say AITA, not WIBTAI went to the eye doctor in October because I needed to renew my prescription. I moved to a new city last year and decided to switch to a doctor that was closer to me. At first everything seemed fine, but after a few days I started to wonder if my prescription was wrong. I called the doctor's office and they ordered a new pair of trial lenses. That pair even worse, so they ordered another trial, and another, and another...I have astigmastism, which means I wear toric lenses. I feel like the strength of the prescription is fine but the astigmatism part (cyl/axis) is wrong in one eye, because it's perfectly clear when it's in the right position, but it slides out of place a LOT. I know this can sometimes happen with toric lenses, but I've never experienced it to this extent. Also: the first trial they gave me had a different cyl/axis and was comfortable. All subsequent trials have had a lower cyl/axis for some reason.With the most recent trial lenses, I was told that the doctor ordered a different brand, but the doctor showed me the prescription for the new trial lenses, and not only is it the same brand but it's the exact same prescription as the last trial! I was already very frustrated by this point and sort of raised my voice and said ""well, why did you make me come in for an appointment if these are the exact same lenses!?"" I mean, they knew it fit properly because they checked last time (which was a few weeks ago at most).My sister was with me at the time, and she said I'm an asshole for yelling at a doctor. But I'm honestly so done with this doctor's office. The only reason I've stuck with it this long is because I couldn't afford to get another eye exam somewhere else. But they've repeatedly given me prescriptions that are blurry and/or uncomfortable and are refusing to listen when I tell them what's wrong. My sister told our parents though and now they're pissed at me for disrespecting a doctor. AITA?",WIBTA for yelling at a doctor?,NTA
10y1bsq,"So I(32M) have been dating my girlfriend(31F) for a few years, introduced her to everyone in my friend group. We have had our ups and downs but it's been generally good. In the past year or so, it's become obvious that my friend group is partial to her and all communication now goes through her. I've been feeling left on an island.  I'm slowly realizing that she has been talking badly about me and any troubles we've had(esp finances) as I'm hearing side comments from the group that I realize are directed at me. When I ask for them to elaborate, the sky suddenly gets really interesting to them and they forget they even said anything.  Where this came to a head was us meeting a new group of people and everything was going great until she blurts out of nowhere she paid the majority of rent this month to the whole group. I didnt want to make a scene but it felt manipulative as I was recently laid off and still dropped more than my half of rent from severance on all of our other bills. Some being groceries, which she says is too overwhleming and anxiety-inducing to do herself but has no problem going to sold out concerts with guys and partying all night. Now she's unemployed and the situation has reversed.Doing things without her is taken as an offense too so I'm feeling very isolated from everyone.  I feel like losing my friend group and going out without her these days. WIBTA if I drop these 'friends' and do my own thing?",WIBTA if I leave my friend groups?,NTA
10y30rs,"My husband and I are in our mid-to-late 20s. When we were first married, we lived in an apartment, and whenever something stopped working, the apartment complex would send over a maintenance guy to fix it. Now that we live in a house, we have both been a little overwhelmed about how much upkeep comes with it. (I know it should have been obvious, but still, it has been a big adjustment). My husband has ADHD (managed by medication), and he tends to let tasks pile up. When I was growing up, my dad always fixed everything in our house. If I needed a shelf installed in my room, for example, he was happy to do it. I would also ask my brothers to fix things for me. That was how I grew up. I currently have a long list of things I want my husband to fix. Sometimes, when he doesn't know how to fix something, he just gives up. We have two toilets in our house, but one of them broke, and he didn't know how to fix it, so it's just been sitting there for a year and a half. The other big thing is our dryer. It will not heat up anymore. My husband has tried multiple times, and he cannot fix it. It has been out of service for a few months and we've been stuck hanging things up to dry, which takes forever. My dad has asked to come over to help fix these items. He said, I always fix things in the home right away, which I felt was a dig at my husband. My husband says he wants to try to do it by himself, and that my dad is attempting to take over. My dad does have a history of being a helicopter parent, and he has been rude to my husband in the past. However, I just need these things to be fixed. (For context, I want to try to fix these things first before buying new or hiring a repairman, for financial constraints.)",AITA for inviting my dad over to fix things in our house?,NTA
10y2m82,My daughter's mother and her husband (they just got married) had planned a honeymoon trip overseas. They have a son (my daughters half-brother) who was going to be looked after by his grandmother while they were gone. On the day they were going to leave the grandmother had a major leak in her house. She couldn't leave when she planned because she had to wait for the plumber to finish. My daughter's mother and stepfather couldn't drive their son to their grandmothers because she lives several hours away and they would miss their plane by the time they drove back.Their regular babysitter was busy during that time and they couldn't find anyone else to watch their son because he has issues and cannot be left with people he's not comfortable or familiar with. So they called my daughter and told her to come back to their house and watch their son until his grandmother could get there later that night. Unbeknownst to me they pay my daughter extra allowance to babysit him in emergencies. I guess sort of like a retainer fee.My daughter was disappointed because she had planned to go to a concert with her friend. They had been planning that for months and had spend a lot of their own money paying for the tickets. My ex however did say she would reimburse our daughter for the ticket (nothing about the friend though that wouldn't have been allowed to go on her own). I don't think the money makes up for both girls missing a one time event that they had been looking forward to for months though.Since it was my time with my daughter I overrode her mother and drove her to the concert with her friend like planned. I called my ex and told her I did and that I didn't feel like it was fair that our daughter has had to give up her time with her friends because of last minute stuff that comes up because of her brother. My ex is mad because I am letting our daughter go back on her agreements. I said whatever their agreement was it doesn't apply when she is staying with me. I really think my ex is just mad because the cost of changing their flights was a hell of a lot more than the cost of the concert ticket and they still had to pay for the hotel room for the first night even though they didn't use it.,AITA for not letting my daughter babysit her brother?,NTA
10y2lmo,"Basically, as above. We were married for 10 years, 1 child. We split up for unrelated reasons about 2 years ago. Then, covid hit and I was lonely started messaging this guy who was so cool and understood everything about me. He didn’t judge or pressure me and he is still my best friend. We have been best friends for two years now, pretty much ‘dating’ effectively. But my wife, she found out and she was angry at me. Her friend told her and she started asking me questions like did I cheat on her and give her aids and things like that (I wasn’t totally listening). But unreasonable questions. She said I was a bad person and can’t see my son now. She says I’m a liar and I made a fool out of her. People are laughing at her.I maybe should have told her, but I don’t know what I would have said? I’m not gay or anything like that, I just have a friend who is gay I guess.",AITA for not telling my ex-wife I was now dating a man?,NTA
10y1ju6,"I really am unsure if I’mbeing unreasonable here. I (23F) work in an office as an assistant and office manager. We’re extremely small, and rarely have visitors. When we do, I know well in advance and prepare for them. We’re the only company on our floor & the doors are locked at all times.Recently, someone from our HQ ordered our security cameras be adjusted. We only have two - one pointed at the front entrance, and one at the back. They were completely fine before, so I don’t know why it was changed. I know that I am constantly in sight of our front door security camera, as my desk is in the lobby. I don’t mind this - I get the reasoning. Before, the stream for the camera went to the office copy room/storage area & the server room, which has very minimal traffic. But with the change, the camera on me is now being live streamed at all times to a monitor in our kitchen, which employees & guests are constantly using. It’s constantly in sight of nearly every office we use (glass walls).  It makes me extremely uncomfortable. I don’t like the idea of being watched continuously, or of being live streamed to a public high traffic place in the office. I’ve never worked in a job where security cameras were streamed to monitors in public areas.The back door camera is not being streamed to any of the monitors - just the one on me. I’ve brought this discomfort up to both HR & the man who ordered this. I suggested the kitchen stream be instead focused on the back door. They said we would discuss it in person - but I previously had this discussion in person when I first started & my boss adhered to me. I don’t trust that it will actually happen if talked about in person. Would I be an asshole if I stood my ground on this & refused to be filmed constantly? Am I overreacting here, or is this something I should just deal with?I’m considering requesting to work in a private office instead of the lobby due to this, but that may be unrealistic.",WIBTA to refuse to have a security camera live-streamed to a public area?,NTA
10y0t2a,"I live in a house with three other people. Two of us work from home. I live and work on the 2nd floor and the other wfh roommate ""Keith"" used to live and work on the 3rd. However the last time a roommate moved out, Keith took her room because it has a big closet nextdoor that he wanted to make into his office. This room is on the 2nd floor, so we now both work on the same floor. Just down the hall from each other.Keith's job requires him to take a phone call about once an hour. He also has one of those clickety clackety keyboards which he bought because he finds it satisfying to type on. Keith and I both keep our doors open while we work so that the dog can come and go (if she wants to come in when the door is closed, she will whine until you let her in). However, since we are now right down the hall from each other, I hear all of his phone calls and his clacking keyboard all day long. I bought a white noise machine but that only does so much unless I blast it.I generally keep my door cracked because I have mobility issues so in order to get up and close my door I have to put a shoe on and hobble over. However I asked Keith to start closing his door if he's going to be on a call or typing a lot and as long as the dog isn't around. Even if the dog did cry to come in or out, he only needs to roll his chair a few inches back to open the door for her.Keith said this was totally fine, but I've noticed he still never closes his door unless I ask him to. Having to text him every time his noise is distracting makes me feel like he's not really ok with this. So, aita?Eta: I do close my door when the dog is downstairs. When she's upstairs I have it cracked open because I can't have her whining while I'm in a meeting (it's his dog btw). When just my door is closed I can still hear him.",AITA for asking my roommate to close his office door while we are both working from home,YTA
10y38xb,"[24F] I'm a high school teacher and due to the education system strains, we are very short staffed at our school and in our district in general. This has led to me teaching an additional class. I'm an Algebra teacher, but due to the short staff issue, I'm also taking on a Civics class.Yesterday I was called into the Vice Principals office during my planning period. She sat me down and explained to me that she wanted to talk to me about what I was wearing. I would like to point out that I was wearing a black shear top over a black undershirt and a pair of khaki pants. None of it was revealing. But she did point out that my bra strap was showing and the color bled through the fabric of my shirt.I was confused and a little embarrassed. I asked what the issue with that was and her response was to tell me that the students mat get the wrong idea about me. The reasoning made no sense to me at all. It is worth noting that last year a teacher was fired for inappropriate relations with a student, and I assumed it was paranoia on their part, but still.She told me that I would have to either wear a white or beige bra, or black if i was wearing a dark color shirt. I felt attacked. I'm trying to avoid giving as much TMI as possible, but I have a more slender figure and a larger bust, so finding a bra that fits is hard enough. This one was baby blue. I don't always get to choose what color it is.I politely said ""Ma'am, I don't see how what's under my shirt is anyone's business but my own."" She told me again what the stipulations are and that I needed to follow them. I agreed for the sake of leaving the situation and left the office.I thought about it last night and decided to file notice to leave the school. I dropped my notice this morning. I was told I was being immature about it.The reason I'm feeling like TA is because I honestly love my job. I connect well with my students. I haven't had to fail a student yet, though I know that day will eventually come. Since I started teaching Algebra at the school, our districts math scores have gone up exponentially. I take a lot of pride in my job and don't want to let the kids down. Like now I'm heartbroken, similar to breakup goggles. I want to stand my ground, but I also feel like I'm failing at something that I'm meant to do and it destroys me. Not to mention there are now going to be two positions that need to be filled in an already undermanned school.AITA?",AITA for quitting my job over a dress code violation?,NTA
10y2v71,"My bf and I have been dating for 3.5 years and we’ve been taking about marriage, we touched the subject of who’d be making the chores and I said we should share them, he says that he can help but a man’s job is to provide and the woman should be the head of the household, to which I object because I will also be working, he got so mad he’s not speaking to me now. I think he’s even thinking about calling it quits, so AITA for wanting to share chores?",AITA (25F) for telling my fiancee(34M) that once we’re married we should share chores,NTA
10y2usi,"I have a cousin ""Rick"" that came out as ftm trans during the pandemic.  I only saw Rick a couple times a year at most and hadn't seen him since he came out.  There was a family gathering for relative's 90th birthday last weekend and I saw him for the first time there.  We made some small talk and were catching up and my 9 year old daughter came up while I was chatting with him.  She needed something so I went off to deal with it and while I was helping her she asked me who Rick was and why she had never met him before.  I explained that she had met Rick before, but when my daughter met him before he was a girl named ""Beth"".  She remembered playing with Beth and asked a couple questions about why Beth was a boy now and I thought that was the end of it.I guess a couple of other relatives overheard me talking to my daughter and it got back to Rick who confronted me about it later.  He said he was disappointed to hear that I was referring to him as his deadname and as a girl behind his back because he thought I was more accepting than that.  I tried to explain the context but he didn't seem to care and was cold to me the rest of the gathering.I get that sort of thing can be sensitive for trans people, but I really have no clue how I could have handled it better.  Was I not supposed to answer my daughter's question?  Am I the asshole here?","AITA for ""deadnaming"" my trans cousin?",NTA
10y2ukw,"I don’t know how to say this without sounding like a total vain jerk, but I’ll try my best. I(31m), have been told that I’m a very handsome man, plus I lift so I have a very good physique. Sorry if that sounded masturbatory, I’m just trying to paint a picture. My fiance Lila(29f) has told me that women hit on me constantly, that I don’t see it, and that it drives her up the wall. She said she just hates how aggressive and brazen they are and have no respect for her even if we’re together at a given time. Admittedly I can be pretty oblivious, I just like to assume that people are nice. But, when I do recognize that people are flirting with me I shut it down and either try to leave or let them down gently. Me and Lila work out together often, and admittedly a lot of women do approach me at the gym. Some just to talk, some just to flirt, some actually want form techniques. I find all of this stuff distracting and annoying, but I try to do my best regardless. Lila asked me to move gyms since I was being hit on so much and it really upset her. I liked the gym I was at, but reluctantly agreed. For the past six months I’ve been at a brand new gym and I love it more than any other gym I’ve been to. The only problem is it’s full of college age kids, and naturally a lot of girls. So I get flirted with and talked to way more. I shut them all down hard, but I do help out this one girl who purely wants to lose weight. Last night, Lila asked me if I can move gyms again. She said that this gym is nice, but she said the college crowd isn’t respecting of  boundaries, especially mine. I said she could go, but that I didn’t want to. She accused me liking the attention and not considering her feelings on the matter. I said I don’t want to change gyms again and that I just liked where I was at now. So reddit, AITA for not considering Lila’s feelings on the matter? ",AITA for not switching gyms?,NTA
10y2ip0,"I’m already aware that I’m in the wrong. My fiancé and I are narrowing down our wedding guest list and his brother is not invited.In the past his brother and I have had bad interactions where I felt very disrespected with no apology after. I feel like weddings aren’t family reunions. They’re not a ceremony of obligation but of union! In my opinion if someone isn’t there for both of us then they shouldn’t be there. As of now his brother is not invited. I feel horrible about it but I also don’t want to be uncomfortable on our wedding day having him there.If his brother can’t even speak to me now, what’s supposed to change wedding day? And I don’t want to fake a hello to someone who ignored my existence regardless of the family title. If my brothers did the same to my fiancé I personally wouldn’t invite them either! Just wanted to vent. I know I’m in the wrong just getting it off my chest so I can move forward and hopefully change my stance on his invitation before wedding day.Edit: for slight context (I don’t like putting family business out there)There was a big family argument that boiled down to the brother cursing me out and saying I would never be family and to stay out of family business when I was siding with my fiancé.",AITA ( I can honestly answer this one. I am the asshole ),NTA
10y51g5,"Some may have seen my previous post. I’m not sure how to link it but feel free to look at it for more info. Basically my sister stole my cat, lied about mine dying, denied it was my cat and refused to return it. Today I went to my sisters because she worked. The sitter was home, I knocked and she recognized me and LET ME IN. Basically when I left, I grabbed my cat and left. The babysitter tried to stop me but I was already to my car. I took my cat straight to the vet, and she was infact my cat. They had painted my cats nails with HUMAN NAIL POLISH and the vet had to remove it, incase you weren’t aware that is a big no no.About 20 minutes later I began getting threatening text messages from my sister saying she is calling the police for “breaking into her home and stealing her pets.” Now she’s texting me how horrible of an aunt I am for stealing the cat because my nieces are upset and crying and how she’ll never forgive me for this.I simply texted her that I was at the vet and the cat is proven mine, and that nail polish they used was toxic, and could’ve been harmful.  I told her to never contact me again, and I don’t want to see her no more, that this is one of the biggest betrayals I’ve ever faced.She texted me back how I was crazy for shutting her out of my life over a cat, when she is my big sister,and that I was being dramatic. I don’t think I am, she stole my cat. I am not being dramatic.",AITA for stealing my cat back and telling my sister to never contact me again?,NTA
10y6c0j,"We were informed of a foster child in need of a home. She’s 14, has some behavioral issues, and had mild drug use. We decided to take her in since my wife knew her a bit and thought she was a decent kid who just needed a chance. The placement had its issues. She smoked weed in the house. We told her not to, she did it again. She had friends over, we said no weed, they smoked anyway. Over five months, we had good and bad times, but overall it was working. We also have a 5 year old daughter who got Covid at the end of last year and has had a chronic cough ever since. She is on a medication for the cough so she can sleep at night and for when her coughing fits get bad. Sometimes it sounds like she is gasping for air. It’s hard to watch her suffer through this. Last night the foster had friends over and they smoked again. We had planned on talking to her about it after school today. We woke up this morning and the 5yo starts coughing. We look for her medicine and we can’t find it. My wife finally gives up and goes to the store to buy more. I drive the foster to school and when I return, we find the bottle in her room. It’s not empty so we don’t freak out. I go to work. Later, my wife goes to give the 5yo more medicine and she realizes that the cough medicine that she found in the fosters room is actually sprite. The foster dumped it all into a sprite bottle and drank it with her friends for a cheap buzz. Don’t know why she filled the medicine bottle back up with sprite, but whatever. I freaked and had her removed immediately. You can disobey me, you can lie to me, you can steal from me. Once you take from my kid, there is no coming back from that. The fact that she lived across the hall from my daughter and listened to her coughing all day and night and still had the lack of humanity that she felt ok taking her medicine is sickening and represents a depravity I was not prepared for. Behavior issues is one thing, it’s almost universal that you don’t mess with sick kids. Did I overreact?EDIT: Lots of folks are asking about the medicine being locked up. We locked up all medicine and alcohol. We were careless and left it out this time. We weren’t diligent this time since we honestly didn’t think it was a target; she had only ever smoked weed before. I’m also seeing posts saying we should have known about her substance abuse issues. I agree. I wish the state had better informed us. We were told she had one marijuana incident before and I thought we could handle that. I smoked weed when I was 14 too. I never knew she did other drugs. I didn’t really consider children’s cough medicine to be a target. It was a mistake. Lastly, we are not foster parents. We did this for a child my wife knew. We were not looking to foster any other kids, we were just trying to help one. We were not prepared for this and are going to focus on our own daughter now.",AITA for getting rid of our foster kid after she stole medicine from our sick daughter.,NTA
10y3swu,"   I (38F) have 3 kids (15F, 13M and 9M) with my husband (38F). Both my side and my husband’s side of the family live close, so we see each other all the time. On my side of the family, we get together every Friday at either my house or one of my sibling’s houses for pizza. This past weekend, I was the one hosting Pizza Night.Our 13 y/o had his friends over that night, which sometimes happens on these nights and there hasn’t been an issue before this. My son’s baseball teammates were over, one of his friends, Karsyn, got diagnosed as autistic a few months ago. This isn’t particularly surprising, as something was always different with him, he’s still a popular, smart boy but it all made sense when he was diagnosed. My son and his friends are very confident in themselves, including Karsyn, and Karsyn’s new special interest after baseball is his autism. Karsyn believes his autism makes him who he is, he is insanely smart, helps my son and his friends with homework and he can tell you anything about baseball. Karsyn, my son, and his friends also like making jokes about themselves, one of his friends is gay and jokes about his sexuality. My husband and I have made sure to talk to the boys about knowing what is and isn't appropriate and to know your boundaries.Karsyn will make jokes about his autism, usually directed at mocking what he believes are ableist parents, mocking anti-vaxxers, ect. Karsyn was upstairs with my son and their other friends before my husband or I got home. We had the family come over after school/work and when pizza was ready, everyone came to the kitchen and dining room. Karsyn had some shirt on that said “I love someone with allism”, allism is apparently a word autistics use for people who aren’t autistic. We all sat down and my sister made a comment about the shirt. My sister and her son have a “severely” autistic son, he’s 15 and can’t do much on his own. My sister asked what the shirt meant and said it wasn’t funny, it started escalating there, with my son and his friends getting rowdy. Karsyn then said something about not being a burden, to which my sister said “for some of my friend’s, their children’s autism are burdens, their children are burdens”, at that point, I screamed at everyone to shut up and told my sister and her husband to leave. Since then, tensions have been pretty high, and we don’t even know if there will be a pizza night next week. My sister and her husband has only dug their heels in their position, my son is very upset, and cried to us about how his aunt could see someone like Karsyn, a long time friend, as a “burden”. Most of my family is siding with my sister saying that children should “respect their elders” and said Karsyn is “full of himself”. My son is still very hurt by those comments and I feel like he has a right to be, and haven;’t apologized to my sister. AITA?",AITA for making my sister and her husband leave a family dinner?,NTA
10y5hwm,"My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years, we live together, and recently we had a fight about accessing someone else's cell phone.  I always gave her complete freedom to use my cell phone, and she did the same, even though we almost never took each other's cell phones. Yesterday she was listening to music while cleaning the house, I didn't like the music very much and I went there to change it, at the same time she already freaked out at me saying that I couldn't touch her cell phone, that the cell phone was her property, I thought it was strange after all we always had this kind of freedom.  We ended up arguing, I told her that if I couldn't take her cell phone, she couldn't take mine either, she freaked out even more, saying that she could have access to my cell phone, but I couldn't see hers. Since then we've been on the outs and are giving each other the silent treatment.  Was I an asshole?",AITA for forbidding my girlfriend to use my cell phone?,NTA
10y3zs6,"I [27F] live in a house that’s been converted into studio apartments. This is an important detail because the walls between apartments aren’t super thick. It’s mostly singles or couples living here, there have been no children, and I know the letting agency does not allow children. My next door neighbour, who I share a wall with, was a guy [30s] on his own who seemed to work from home. Never had any issues, obviously I’d hear him sometimes but that can’t be helped. Last Fall, I started hearing what I thought was a baby crying, but I assumed I must be hearing things. A few days later I stumble across a woman [30s] holding a small child, I would say between 12 and 18 months old. I thought maybe they were visiting and didn’t really think more of it. Fast forward to now, the three of them live in the studio next to mine. I get it, I really do, there’s a housing crisis, rents are crazy expensive. But holy shit this kid is constantly crying. If he’s not crying he’s screaming. Not like, in anguish, he does these little screeches like it’s a game or something? There’s also random heavy bangs against the shared wall. I am Lucky enough that I don’t work from home so I’m really only there in the evenings but I’m extremely sensitive to noise. I’m aware that this is my problem and I own different kinds of earplugs and earphones to try and mitigate this as best I can. But goddamn, sometimes I want to just sit in the apartment I pay rent in and not have to wear earplugs in my own space. I feel really bad even considering mentioning it to them but I’m losing my mind. I know they’re limited in what they can do but WIBTA for just mentioning to them and asking them if they could do something about the screaming or the banging at the very least?",WIBTA if I asked my neighbours with a baby to keep it down?,NTA
10y43rc,"So. There's me f(27) and dad(50) then there's his wife f(58) and her daughter f(40) and her girlfriend f(30). I am made to sit around the small round kitchen table every evening to eat dinner with everyone and I HATE it. A bit of background, I have lived independently for 6 years and recently had to move in with my dad and his family. I have all sorts of rules imposed on me (but that's another time) and I'm struggling. I hate that people can't eat with their mouths closed. Talk with mouths full, and the constant slurping and chewing makes me irrationally angry. I've tried to tell my dad about this and he said it's tough, I have to eat there. So I've resorted to having a few mouthfuls and excusing myself saying that I'm too full and ill eat later just to get away.What can I do?!Does it make me the asshole that I can't stand it anymore?TIA.Just for the record I PAY TO BE HERE. I have TRIED to move out.",AITA BECAUSE I HATE FAMILY DINNER,NTA
10y6uoe,"My nephew[17m] is the only remaining link I have to my beloved sister who died years ago. So I love him like he’s one of my own kids, and am very protective of him. Our dad gifted me and her his 1967 Shelby Mustang once we got to high school, but left it to her in his will. It still burns my ass since I love that car, but I got the money so I guess I’ll live haha. Also, my sister was a major gear head and loved cars since she was a kid which factored into his decision.My sister left the Mustang to my nephew on the condition that he only receive it when he gets his license and on his 16th birthday. When he got the car he loved it and promised to take special care of it since it was his mom’s. And as far as I can tell he has been taking care of it.My brother in law got remarried to a total c-u-next-Tuesday of a person named Claire. She’s an awful person, but she’s very pretty and manipulative so BIL fell for it and they got married. Claire and my nephew don’t get along at all and unfortunately my BIL has been blinded by her and takes her side in their fights.Well my nephew told me that my BIL took his Mustang because he got in trouble at school, and he’s given it to Claire to use. I went to my BIL’s house to hear his side and he confirmed it. He said my nephew needed discipline and Claire wanted the car to use. I was seeing red, but I told him that it was legally my nephew’s car, he said that it didn’t matter, he was a minor and living under his roof so he would follow his rules.I was furious, but my evil mind put together a plan. I have a very good job, and I have a dear beloved husband who comes from a very wealthy family, so we have a lot of disposable income. Long story short, I got him a 2022 Shelby Mustang GT500. I drove the car over to his house and handed him the keys in front of Claire who looked dumbfounded. Admittedly it was worth it just to see her face. BIL called me and told me I was undermining his authority as a parent and being an ahole by enabling his bad behavior and being petty. I said he was unfairly punishing my nephew by taking away his property and that it was only a lease until he gives back his car.Now I’m wondering, was I being shortsighted and reactionary by doing something so petty? Was I an ahole?",AITA for buying my nephew a new car out of spite?,NTA
10y6yhe,"To put it simply, my mom is a restaurant Karen.She snaps her fingers at waitstaff. She asks them to change the temperature in the restaurant if she’s too hot or too cold. She regularly sends food back for very minor things. She complains to the manager if the wait is more than 20 minutes, regardless of how busy the restaurant is. In her mind, she’s alway in the right. She believes as long as she says please and thank you she can be as difficult as she wants. Recently, she’s taken on a new habit of being an awful tipper. The other day we ate at a restaurant where you order and pay at the counter, and then they bring you your food. She decided not to tip at all.That didn’t sit right with me, so while she went to grab our seats I apologized to the man at the counter and put a 10 in the tip jar. We got our food and ate, and when we got up, she threw a whole $1 on the table. For a $45 meal.In the parking lot, I expressed how wrong I thought this was. She said that she doesn’t tip at restaurants where they don’t take your order at the table, because the staff “didn’t earn it”.I explained that, as much as I hate tipping culture too, restaurant staff rely on it. They can make less than minimum wage, and if people like her refuse to tip they won’t make enough to live off of. I said it was a good thing I went back to tip the guy at the counter earlier.She got pissed and said that I was wrong to do that. That she paid for my meal, and I was being disrespectful by undermining her and tipping behind her back. I feel she’s the one in the wrong here. Eating out with her has become downright embarrassing because of the way she acts. The newfound shitty tipping has made me not want to eat out with her at all.But she DID pay for my meal. So AITA?ETA: this was a local deli we ate at, not like a subway or anything. But I would tip there too, personally.",AITA for tipping behind my mom’s back?,NTA
10y4rl2,"Context: my wife and parents don’t really get along. They remain civil, but there are still some hard feelings. It started from them hitting financial trouble around the time we got married, and them not willing to contribute to our wedding while taking a loan to finance my sister’s wedding. I sympathize with the way my wife feels regarding this. Now, we’ve been married for more than a year. During this time, my wife and I have always tried to make each other happy, and we have an otherwise happy marriage. Some stuff does come up regarding my parents here and there, but it’s not something we actively argue about.I have started doing well financially. I took her to a great honeymoon, for example, to cheer her up. For her birthday, I took her on another trip. And she My wife isn’t working yet, but we spend according to our likes, and enjoy a good lifestyle. Whatever my wife’s wishes are, I have always worked to fulfill them - as she has for me. The problem: our wedding anniversary and her birthday are within 3 months of each other. For that, she wants two trips. We have been wanted to buy a house and plan on buying in the next 12-18 months, and for that I had asked her if we could budget one of those and not spend as much as we normally do. She understood and was on board. Yesterday, I became aware of the deep financial issue my parents are in after my dad’s retirement. He’s looking for another job, but they are finding it difficult to manage. They financed my post graduate and graduate study as well, using a lot of their savings. Today, I asked my wife if we could send them $1000 as it would mean a lot to them and make it easier for them to manage until my dad finds a job. We can afford to send them the money, it wouldn’t have an adverse effect on us. She got extremely upset, saying that I am cutting down on her needs to help them. She asked why I’m asking her to budget when I can send them the money. I did not want to budget to send them the money, I wanted to budget to save for the house. We have been spending a lot recently, and I wanted to bring it under control so we can buy a house.I understand this to a degree, but I have the means to help out my parents who are in trouble and have always been there for me when they had the money and hate to see them struggling. AITA? Need advice.Edit: she is not working right now because she graduated abroad recently and has to take an exam before she can work here and she is studying for that. It’s not that my wife does not “want” to work",AITA for wanting to send $1k to my parents when my wife and I are budgeting our anniversary trip?,NTA
10y4icl,"I (26 F) have a coworker (45 M) named Carl. Carl is a relatively nice guy, he’s a little pushy at times, but still pleasant to be around for the most part. For example, when my car needed new brakes, he insisted that I order the parts and have him do it at his house instead of going to a mechanic shop and being “overcharged.” Stuff like this happens often, but I mostly shrug it off/politely decline and go about my day. 5 months ago, my husband and I found out we would be expecting our first baby and we were obviously overjoyed. The way people treated me changed when I revealed to my work place that I was pregnant. Everyone was happy for me and started caring above and beyond for me, especially Carl. For a bit of background, I’m a lacto-ovo vegetarian and have been for over 10 years. Carl seemed to take a special interest in my diet for some reason now that I revealed I was pregnant. It started with him asking me what I was craving, a common question to get in pregnancy. When I said sweets, like chocolate and ice cream, he shook his head and said “I’ll start bringing you things to snack on instead of junk, your diet will never be more important than right now.” From there on out, when I came in the morning for work, there was some sort of fruit on my desk. Kind of weird, but I love fruit, so I shrugged it off and ate it. This continued for weeks until I told my husband and we was freaked out by it, so I made up something about how I started getting heartburn and was told to cut back on citrusy foods by my doctor. After that incident, Carl has been hounding me about my diet. Every day he asks if I’ve ate breakfast and what it is that I ate, making comments about it “not being enough protein” or that I need to “eat a steak for some protein.” When I go to heat up my lunch, he always says “there better be enough protein in that” and even goes as far as coming over to my lunch, inspecting its contents, and calculating the macros in it. Today I had it. He quizzically asked me what I had for breakfast and then shook his head “you should’ve ate a yogurt or something as well to boost up your protein.” I snapped and kind of yelled something along the lines of, “I don’t ask you about your cholesterol intake every day, why do you think it’s appropriate ask me about my protein? Because I’m pregnant with a baby that has nothing to do with you? My diet is between me and my doctor, you are crossing a boundary and need to leave me alone.” He apologized and was didn’t say a word to me for the rest of the day. So, AITA for yelling at my coworker?",AITA for snapping at my coworker for making comments about my diet?,NTA
10y337l,"My family is leaving town for a few days and I invited two of my friends to sleep over. We're all (20F). I have a guest bedroom that has a single bed and my own bed which is a queen. This way I would be sharing with one friend, and the other would have her own room. Last night, they both came over and we had a great night together, watching movies and all the usual sleepover stuff. It got late and time for sleeping arrangements. I said I would sleep next to Sam in my bed, meaning Nicole could have the guest bed. Nicole got offended and asked why I didn't want to share with her, and I dodged the question for a bit but she kept insisting that I share with her so I was honest. Nicole has pretty severe anxiety, and we always try our best to accommodate her. Part of this anxiety means she brings around her comfort blanket everywhere - especially for sleeping over. This is a blanket from when she was a child, and so it is very torn up and old, and it has never been washed. This means it smells absolutely horrible. When she has come over and stayed in my bed once before, I had to wash my sheets to get the smell out, and it was all I could smell all night. I told her that honestly her blanket has a smell that I don't quite like, but that I'd never ask her to sleep without it so I would prefer that she take the other room. Btw, it's not like this room is dingy and bad or something, it has it's own bathroom and is quite spacious, and right next to my room. Nicole got offended at this and left, we haven't been able to reach her since. I'm not sure if I am TA for this, if I should have lied and come up with a different reason or just slept next to her for the night.",AITA for being honest about why I don't want to share my bed with my friend?,NTA
10y6yf9,"My parents are divorced, I (15F) live with my mum. She has a difficult personality to put it lightly, she cannot take any criticism from anyone without painting herself as the victim, shes very moody, hot headed and people have to REALLY watch their tone when theyre around her. Her personality was one of the main factors of why my dad divorced her. When I was young, she would often talk shit about my dad, and because I rarely got to see him, I thought that my dad was this heartless monster who didnt love me at all. Even though I later learned from him that he originally thought he was going to take custody over me and that she herself insisted on me living with her. She would often tell me that ""she was the only one who was ever there for me"" and that type of stuff. Anyways when I was 13-14, she started telling me to not talk about him in-front of her, basically asking me to treat my dad as some kind of taboo. This went on and on until I started getting pissed off. I never lashed out at her because of this, usually I just went to my room or something.  A while ago, I started arguing with my mum because of the same reasons she would fight with dad, that being that I accidentally looked at her differently etc, she got offended and started calling me names and obviously I would start defending myself. Whenever we would argue, she would go around telling everyone in our family (step dad, grandma, aunties) how awful I was and just venting to them about me. I never got to share my side of the story, and she would always conveniently leave out the parts which would make the situation not so one-sided. I would always have to deal with the name calling and emotional manipulation by myself, never getting to talk to anyone about it. A while back I was talking to my dad and I had a complete breakdown, telling him all of this. He surprisingly said that he related to me, and that he went through the same thing with her. It gave me a sort of comfort and it really helped me knowing that there was finally someone on my side. Sadly, my mom overheard me on the phone and then asked me who I was talking to. When I said I was talking to dad, she let out this offended sigh and told me that I will not talk about her with him. I told her that hes my dad, and that the conversations I have with him are none of her business, I also told her thay she talks about me all the time and with literally half of our family and then just watches while they give me a hard time over things that she took out of context. Mind you I kept my cool during this convo, which im quite proud of.",AITA for telling my mum that what I tell my father is none of her business?,NTA
10y3cmt,"I’m (14f) a bit sure how to start this so I’ll try to write a bit of a summary.My mom (44f) has been very angry about me not helping her with her business. She started it when I was around 3 or 4 and we lived in the US. She would buy just about anything from the US and sell it on Facebook or something else to her customers in Thailand.Back then, I was as involved in helping as a toddler could be. I’d run around grabbing things from shelves for her and such. She would also have been sort of advertise for her. She would give me a script and film me saying it. It was difficult and my memory has always been so she’d often cry and get frustrated with me when I couldn’t do as she said. I think I could be a AH from just that.We stayed that way until I was around 7 or 8.Fast forward to now. We’re living in Thailand and my mom definitely has a harder life here. She has to pay a lot for my education since i don’t know Thai. She is under a lot of stress.Yesterday, she had a meltdown and just cried and screamed about how she wishes I could be the way I was when I was younger. And how she wishes I wasn’t such a useless daughter who couldn’t help her do any work or support the family in any way at all. I thought that all I needed to do was keep getting good grades and staying out of trouble at school would be enough for my mom to stay happy so I haven’t been helping her with the packing and shipping and just everything else.I feel really guilty and like an AH because it’s everything bad my mom is feeling is because of me. But at the same time, I don’t think I have to. I’m 14. I’m so conflicted.So, AITA?",AITA for not helping my mom with her business?,NTA
10y3180,"I was able to acquire a permit for a backpacking trip next month that is pretty hard to get. The permits are released at the beginning of the year and usually sell out instantly for the year. I have been trying to get a permit for a few years now and always been unlucky.I have a friend, we will call James, that had gotten the permit. James had a change of plans and lucked into getting the same permit for a separate week and offered his old permit to me. The catch was there is no way to sell the permits private party. He released it back into the system, and I then had to be logged in 9am the next morning to be first in line.  James basically notified me it would be in there and if I logged in I would have a good chance at getting it, which I did.Sadly after a ski accident I am going to require surgery and will not be able to use the permit. A few weeks back when the injury happened, I mentioned to my roommate and friend, we will call Phil, that I likely would not be able to use it. He expressed how bummed he was for me as his sister had done the trip before and said it was beautiful. Phil briefly mentioned he was interested in going. Not to the point of asking if he could have the permit, but was interested in going at some point was all.I really do not want to offer the permit to Phil. It is a trip that I have wanted to do for years and I am really really bummed that I cannot go. If Phil went and came back with stories, pics, etc it would tear me apart. If it were a more distant friend I would not think twice but some one that I live and spend lots of time with I know it would come up again and again. I am already torn up that I am missing ski season and a few other things I had planned, this being the biggest bummer. I also do not think Phil really respects how hard/special it is to go.WIBTA if I do not offer the permit to Phil? i.e. I would not tell him when I plan to release it into the system like James did with me. To make things harder, James and Phil are also friends. Phil knows how I got the permit re: James. I asked James and he said he really did not care/know anyone else interested.tl;dr WIBTA if I do not offer a hard to get backpacking permit to my roommate because I feel like him going and coming back with the story would be awful for me.edit: after an ever-increasing amount of YWBTA, I plan to tell him when I plan to release the permit. I was stuck in my self pity and it blinded my judgement.",WIBTA If I do not offer a hard to get backpacking permit to my roommate/friend,YWBTA
10y6drm,"Alright so I(F20) have this friend that will call Joe(M20). We've been friends for quite a while now and for the most part we've gotten along, which makes us great friends. That was until recently when he found out about that ChatGPT. He showed it to me and I found it somewhat interesting and cool with the AI and everything but not as enthusiastic as he was. I noticed that he was starting to seem more and more addicted to bring in that as it would seem that was all he would talk about and even when we'd hang out he's always be on the website playing with responses and treating it like it was his best friend. It got to a point the other day when it was the only thing that he'd talk for almost three entire time we were hanging out with a couple of friends. Some of the others weren't having a fun time because of it and so I pulled him off to the side and confronted Joe about it. I told him that we were all trying to have a good time and have fun and that all he was doing was being on his phone. He said that he was having a fun time and that he was still hanging out with us, it's just that he also wanted to play around with ChatGPT. I told him that from my point of view he was obsessed with the AI and getting addicted to using it as he is constantly raving about it. He argued that he wasn't addicted and that it was just a fun thing to pass the time, too which I argued that if he wanted to pass the time with that he shouldn't try to hang out with us while we do other things as we're not obsessed with ChatGPT. The argument went on for a little bit more before I just have up arguing and went back with hanging out with my other friends. But I'm starting to wonder AITA?",AITA for telling my friend that he's too obsessed with something?,NTA
10y7deo," I'm in my last year of BCs in Physics. As this is the last semester, we have a course unit that is exclusively based on lab work where we apply all the knowledge we built during our BCs. We have a lot of different lab works and we have to make a report for every single one of them that can take up to 20 pages each, where we also have to respond to some Physics question that are pretty hard, make graphs and so on...We are in duo and I feel like my lab partner has kinda taken advantage of me. I'm the valedictorian (He noticed it as I'm usually discreet) and he'll let me do all the hard Physics, data processing on Python (graphs etc). It takes around 2-3 full days a week which is extremely time consuming. Indeed I also have to prepare competitive exam to join very prestigious MCs in engineering AND the final exams for the last semester. I just cannot spend a third of my time doing these reports almost entirely alone every week until the end of the semester otherwise I'll just fail the competitive exams I talked about earlier.Therefore I my duo a whatsapp message that said the following :Hi, I noticed that you let me do all the difficult theoretical parts of the reports, and as soon as you get stuck on something you just put a comment hoping that I will solve the problem. I'm not a rocket scientist and it also takes me a long time to answer all the questions, sometimes I do long research in books or on the internet. Moreover I have to take care of the data processing part in Python every time, which also takes a lot of time. I think you should also take decisions when necessary without waiting for my validation.As you know we both have competitive exams at the end of the semester. I can't jeopardize my chances of getting into a good course because I spend 2-3 days a week just doing the report. So from now on, we should be more organized on this aspect and one of us will do the data processing and the other the theoretical part (and the calculations from the data processing). It doesn't mean that we should never help each other, but the distribution of the tasks is currently not fair at all.I hope I have not been too harsh and I apologize if this is the case, but I hope you will understand the situation. **If I observe no change, I'll just stop making the reports.** He responded that I really was not cool, and that it was more difficult for him to do more theorical/data processing parts compared to me. so AITA ?","AITA for telling my lab partner I can't spend more time on lab work and he also has to do the hard work, and that I'll stop making reports if nothing change ?",NTA
10y4f5a,"My (29F) boyfriend (30M) and I share a shower. We both have somewhat long hair and a history of clogging the drain. I've developed the habit of collecting all the hair surrounding the drain and pushing it to the corner to keep it from going down the drain. For many years, I'd throw away the giant hair clump when I'd get out of the shower, but by then I'm totally clean and the clump is slimey and disgusting, so about 4 months ago, I just started letting the ""hair monster"" grow in the shower corner. My boyfriend always comments on how disgusting this is and insists I throw it away, but refuses to do it himself for the same reason (it's gross). The thing is, if it were up to my bf, the shower drain would clog and become useless within 3 days, and then our shower would fill with water and eventually flood the bathroom floor. He is more than welcome to be proactive about the hair monster, as it is a lot of his hair too, so AITA?",AITA for creating a giant hair monster?,ESH
10y4bxq,"This happened over the summer but I'm still getting backlash for it I (28f) visited my dad (52m) and his wife (49f) for 2 weeks with my 2 young kids (both f). Me and my girls stayed in their house for the entire 2 week period. Will note this trip was my dad's wife's idea. During our stay my dad and his wife were nothing but gracious. Made sure we had activities planned and paid for. Fridge stocked with snacks for my girls and alcohol for me. She wouldn't allow me to pay for ANYTHING even when I tried. I made sure to clean up after ourselves and help with dishes and dinner prep to show I’m not taking advantage of the hospitality. As an extra thank you I purchased a thank you card and gift card for their next grocery run after we were set to leave. I knew they spent a lot and with the price increase I wanted to help take the load off. When my dad picked her up from work he gave her a heads up and she was pissed. Came home, walked right past my oldest who was patiently waiting to give her the card, and slammed her bedroom door in my daughter's face. Apparently she was pissed that I wanted to give her something because being a host was expected since she's family and the card was a sign that I don’t consider her family.  I made sure to thank both her and my dad in the thank you card the gift card was in so she didn’t feel signaled out. But according to my dad she wouldn't even open the card. That night there was a lot of yelling between her and my dad, to the point I had to step in and remind them that I have kids in this house and they also have her minor child (16f) in the house who doesn’t need to be around the yelling. I even told them if it didn't stop I would be going to a hotel and stay there until my husband (30m) and MIL (50f) arrive to take us home. (the arrangement was my husband and MIL would come get me and my girls after the 2 weeks so I wouldn't have to fly alone with 2 young girls) I ended up taking the gift card and buying ingredients for dinner the last night I was in town since they were hosting a farewell dinner with my dad's side of the family. I'm still confused as to where I went wrong so AITA?I’ll edit since I’m seeing similar comments: 1) there’s no cultural difference2) I also got her daughter a gift card for her and her girlfriend to have a date night on me because both her and her girlfriend were so sweet to my girls 3) my dad went with me to pick something out. I originally was going to get her flowers and a gift card to her fav restaurant. My dad told me no because she dieting and gets made when he tries doing those things for her and groceries would be my best bet because she mentioned in private how much they were spending and it was stressing her out. I reconfirmed that gift card route before purchasing",AITA for giving a gift card as a ‘thank you’,NTA
10y5wla,"I’m writing this in a grocery store parking lot, so forgive any minor spelling errors.I’m a 17 year old girl with high functioning autism, anxiety and others that aren’t important to the story. In 5th period, we were watching a movie, which consent forms were given out and my mom had signed, and the first 10 minutes that we watched left me extremely anxious. I was trembling, but that was about it, so the next period, English I asked my teacher, let’s call her Ms. Taylor, if I could sit outside to calm down because I was having bad anxiety. She agreed and I sat outside and listened to music to try and calm down and I used the bathroom a bit after because I had to go. When I came back I took my computer, which I was listening to music on through my headphones, Ms. Taylor said “Hey, why don’t you play a round, ok?” The rest of the class was playing a review game for an upcoming vocab test. I was still trembling and I knew I wasn’t ready to play, but I felt I had no choice so I played 3 different games on Blooket, it’s kinda like Kahoot, just with added pressure. I was still trying to calm down by listening to music as I played but it didn’t help. Ms. Taylor never asked me if  I was feeling any better or if I was ready to play, and she would only start the game when everyone, including me, had joined in. My anxiety… or panic attack was getting worse and I felt like I wanted to cry and multiple times felt I might puke.After 6th period I went to the Nurse’s office because I realized this is not normal and at 2:00, around 2 hours after I initially had my anxiety, I called my mom asking if I could go home. I’m not very good at understanding what my body is telling me or what I’m feeling is called, but I was still trembling, my right arm specifically was shaking intensely like never before and my arms were stuck in front of me and my muscles tensing extremely. Anyway, my mom didn’t want me to leave because of 2 missing assignments I had to turn in and told me to just push through it. My hand was shaking so bad the telephone wire in the nurses office was cosplaying a snake. I can’t explain this enough, this wasn’t normal anxiety. This doesn’t FEEL like my normal random anxiety I can just ignore. My mom ultimately decided it was my choice if I wanted to leave or not, so I decided to leave. The nurse checked me out and as I was driving home, my mom called me to ask if I could run to the grocery store to get groceries. I’m in the parking lot right now typing this up, and I can’t figure out if I did something wrong. I acknowledged I was having anxiety, told my teacher and removed myself to calm down, then when I felt worse because I was forced to play the review games that usually stressed me out on a regular day I went to the nurse after class. Am I the asshole? Or am I just in the wrong?Update: I just got home and I’ve stopped shaking and felt better, kinda. I’m incredibly drained and feel kinda depressed-ish. Mom didn’t ask anything about my anxiety…whatever it was, and told me to go to my room to detox like I do every day and then told me to get working on some Chemistry homework. Small edit: Not sure if I mentioned it on this post but what i specifically remember my mom saying on the phone in the nurses office that originally made me feel like an asshole was something along the lines of “well this has started to become a problem and I don’t want you to leave when you can just get through it and power through.” I’ve been having some issues at work and had 2 anxiety attacks I believe because I got extremely overwhelmed, I work in concessions, because of all the people and it was going too fast for me to keep up so I would leave early. That’s what my mom meant by this has become an increasing issue.",AITA For Leaving School Early Because I Felt Awful?,NTA
10y6q5w,"I (21F) live in a college dorm with my roommate (20F). She has a group of friends that she hangs out with a lot. She is rarely in our shared room (less than an hour every day except for the couple times a week she sleeps here). She usually goes to sleep at her friend's apartment which is nearby.Multiple times per day, her friends will try to hang out with her by coming to the dorm room and knocking on the door/cracking the door open to see if she's in. In the rare times that my roommate is actually here, she'll tell the person to come in. I'm a person who is spooked easily so it snaps me out of my concentration on whatever I'm doing at that time (usually doing homework).A specific one of her friends will knock multiple times, waiting a few seconds in between each set of knocks, before eventually cracking the door and realizing that my roommate is not here. It bothers me because he'll spend a few minutes just standing at the door knocking. The first week of school, I answered the door and always told her friends that I've only seen her for five minutes or so that day and that I didn't know where she was. Most of them have switched to just cracking the door or doing a single set of knocks. This one guy just continues to spend so much time knocking on the door, and I know that it's the same person because they knock with the same pattern every time. I've continued to just ignore it. I'd rather not have to get up from my desk and further break my workflow. Plus, I figured that it would make sense that if there is no answer, my roommate is not here.So, WIBTA if I asked my roommate to have her friends send her a text if they wanna hang out rather than coming directly to our shared room since she is rarely actually here? I don't want to call out a specific one of her friends so I figured that this would be a good way to fix the issue in general and save her friends the time of coming to knock on the door.",WIBTA if I asked my roommate to stop her friends from knocking on the door?,NTA
10y80f3,"There was this burger place that I liked and would order from regularly, as title states. It's like $12 for a burger and fries. To be honest, the food wasn't *extremely* good as the burger and even fries would often be kind of burnt, but it had convenience as the main factor that kept me going.Anyway... I'd always order and pay online, and then go in and pick it up. Someone would hand me the bag every time and that's it.After about 6 months of ordering there, I go to the counter to ask for my bag. He gets the bag for me, but stops before handing me it and says, ""Do you enjoy our service?"" I say ""Yes..."" in confusion. He has a confrontational look in his eyes and hands are shaking. He says ""Does the food taste good?"" I say yes again still like wtf. Then he's like ""We notice you never tip."" And I say ""Ah... yeah, sorry, I didn't think I needed to. The online ordering system never asks for one."" He doesn't say anything else and finally hands me the bag. I leave and never order from there again.He was acting like I'm the asshole, but I left there thinking to myself ""that guy is an asshole"". AITA? Should I have been tipping them the whole time?",AITA for not tipping at a restaurant that I'd order from about once every 2 weeks?,NTA
10y6cxm,"I will start off by saying my husband and I are very lucky to have family that enjoys buying things for our kids, we are grateful that they are loved. We tend to spoil our kids a bit, so they already have more than enough clothes and toys. We just had our second child, and we are starting to outgrow our home a bit so we asked for just books this last Christmas because we simply have no more room for toys and such. Well, my mother in law who is the one who tends to buy the most things, only half listened to our request. She cannot pass up a deal, even if it’s something that is not necessarily that nice or even needed. Lately she’s been obsessed with eBay and buying clothes on there for the kids because she recently discovered how cheap she can find things there. This last Christmas she sent a huge box of clothes via mail (she lives 8 hours away,) mostly for my 3month old. 99% of the clothes were so outdated and not at all the way I dress my son. I felt bad but my husband and I both agreed we’d donate them because they’re not something we’d put him in. We’ve also mentioned before that the particular brand she buys on EBay have sewing defects a lot of the time. I want to make it clear that I don’t mind getting gifts that were purchased on sale, that is NOT the issue. She mentioned that their toy Christmas presents are at her house and that they can open them when we visit. This frustrated me because we specifically asked for books , she’s aware we have no more room because we mention it all the time. We already have to purge and donate toys constantly , which we did before Christmas to make room for the few new toys we got our kids. I would like to say we let her know we are thankful, but we don’t let her know that sometimes we just donate the toys or clothes. Sometimes we also donate gifts from other family but she is the one that buys the most which is why she’s the one mentioned. AITA for this?",AITA for donating new clothes and toys given to my kids by family?,NTA
10y7n3x,"My brother and SIL and I used to be friends. Things changed after my bf broke up with me unexpectedly when I was pregnant and I decided to move back to my parent’s house. My parents, brother and SIL were super nice and encouraging, and reassured me they'd be there for me and the baby. My SIL had a baby before me, and left a bag of baby clothes at my house when I was pregnant. She never said anything, my mom was just like, she left these here for you. I had a bunch of other baby clothes from friends, so I put them in with those clothes.  I decided to move back with my bf when my baby was 7 months. I was nervous to be alone with the baby all day, and was still upset about the breakup. I texted my brother and SIL and told them when I was moving, and that I was scared. Neither said much. A week later, my brother sent me an accusatory series of texts, saying that I sucked because I hadn’t given back their baby clothes once they were outgrown, so they could give them to a friend. I was shocked, because most people don’t expect you to return baby clothes, especially without saying something, but my brother made it seem like everyone returned baby clothes, and I was an uncouth loser for not knowing. My SIL insisted on digging through ALL his outgrown clothes to find the ones she’d given me. I found this invasive, but my mom wouldn’t let me say no. I was upset and never would have accepted the clothes if I had to give them back, but I wasn’t given that choice as they were left at the house. My brother and SIL dismissed my feelings about the clothes by calling it a misunderstanding and saying I was overreacting by being upset.Two weeks after I moved, my SIL texted me for my address. I didn’t answer, but she got my address from my mom and sent a housewarming gift. It felt fake and forced. I was put off that they could just treat me badly, then mail a bunch of stuff against my will and think everything was ok. A few months later she mailed me a gift for my baby’s birthday, but her gifts injured him, plus he almost choked on one gift. The gifts had bad juju, and I didn’t know what I was potentially agreeing to by accepting them, like with the clothes. But I was gracious and kept the peace.A few weeks later, I read something saying when faced with guilt or resentment, you must always choose guilt. I took a deep breath and texted my SIL. I told her I didn’t want her to mail me any more gifts, that I never gave her my address or wanted my mom to give her my address. I told her I was upset at how she and my brother treated me about the clothes, and that it felt like I was being put into the same situation again, against my will, which is why I didn’t want any more things mailed to me.Well, my brother and SIL told me they’re basically done with me, and my mom is on their side and says I’m just so mean. My SIL says I’m not allowed in their house or life unless I apologize to her. AITA?",AITA for telling my SIL to not mail me presents anymore?,NTA
10y3h8f,"I've had this moral dilemma for months now. A friend of mine shared a secret w/ me which if her bf found out might put her in a very, if not bad, at least questionable light. There's no malice between us, we are really good friends, but ever since she told me it's been eating me up and I have been trying to find a way to either let this go, force her to do ""the right thing"" or just tell her bf myself.(//:sorry if my story is messy://)Few months back my friend told me she has her bf's family heirloom in her possession which was deemed lost years ago. Her bf's brother had given his ex a ring (mom's or grandma's not sure) and when they broke up the ex never returned it (I don't blame her, a gift is a gift, but I digress). However, the ex-gf had in fact returned the ring... to my friend. It's been 2+ years now since this happened and she still hasn't told neither her bf nor his brother.When I asked her ""why"", she said ""I want to teach him a lesson to not give family heirloom away that easy. My bf might have wanted to give the ring to me ffs"". I can understand a certain level of pettiness but I don't know how much longer this is going to go on for. She's in no hurry to give the ring back to anyone and even brags how she loves thinking the brother feels bad about losing the ring.I've tried bringing this up  a couple of times w/ no prevail. There's just no talking to her. Which is why I've started to think should I just tell her bf instead? I just think my friend is going too far in her ""revenge"".​What should I do? Just stay out of it and should I say something?",WIBTA If I told my friend's secret to her bf?,NTA
10y57xs,"BF (35) and I (32F), live together in an apartment we bought a year ago. We usually both work from home but today I had to go to the office. At 13h I get a Teams message from him telling me our bathroom started leaking into our downstairs neighbour's apartment when he took his shower and that he cut the water supply to our place, at this point I didn't understand why he had to cut the whole thing but figured the issue was the pipes going to the shower. We know this should be covered by our home insurance, but don't even know who that is cause we basically just said yes to whatever our bank offered (oops) to reduce our mortagage interest rate. I didn't feel like searching through my online documents at the office so I say I can look into it at 21h when I get home. I actually end up arriving a lot sooner (20h) at which point he explains that the reason he shut the whole water supply is because there appear to be 2 leaks, under the shower AND toilet - I panicked because up to this point I thought we could still briefly open the water supply to fill the toilet tank when needed and thought the only thing we couldn't do was shower, and we can shower at the gym, this update changed the whole scenario for me. I told him he shouldn't have waited for me to arrive and should have figured out the insurance thing himself if he knew the situation was so pressing, specially since this was going to be our first time using the insurance and had no idea what their ETAs were. He argued he couldn't take any time off to do that because he has only started this job 2 weeks ago, that he had to deliver a training and that he had ""just"" finished working an hour before I arrived (his shift ended 2h before I arrived but I can believe he stayed a bit longer, not sure if an hour though). He then said he was just telling me what happened, that I didn't need to get mad, so I replied I just wished he would take the intiative, that I could count on him to solve things at home without me. We both got upset started looking for the insurance contact which I quickly found. I called them and because we had to cut our main supply it counted as an emergency so we got a 3h ETA for a plumber to come.Important detail: he is a foreigner, he does speak the language, but sometimes struggles with communicating more ""technical"" stuff. Still, I would have expected him to TRY to take care of it since he was the one at home.Edit - if I am the AH I will accept that. But just in case I did not explain myself correctly since english is not my first language I want to try to clarify a couple of things. I am not upset he shut the water line, not really even that he didn't call himself, but that he didn't think not being able to use the toilet was a pressing matter. I would have called myself had I known we couldn't use the toilet, but he didn't share the leak involved the toilet until I came home. In the past I have taken the time to run to the hardware store and fix the toilet and other stuff during my breaks. Also, he is a foreigner but while he struggles with technical stuff it is not like he can't communicate at all, his job is in the local language.",AITA for expecting my BF to sort our leaky bathroom situation,YTA
10y7ljm,Exactly what the title says. I’m a very quiet person and usually very nice but I am not a doormat. After class people usually hang out and talk to each other for a couple minutes or wait around in their desks. (I usually wait at my desk because I don’t have many friends in this particular class.) So the kid who sits next to me gets up and starts talking to the kid who sits behind me and they both put their backpacks on my desk like I wasn’t even there. I sarcastically said “Yes! Please put your backpacks on my desk!”They looked kinda shocked and quietly apologized and took the bags off. As soon as I said it I regretted it because they both have been nice to me and like I said I don’t have many friends in that class. AITA?,AITA I (15F) told my classmates (15F) to stop putting their backpacks on my desk,NTA
10y7bjd,"I've been working in an office setting for a few years at a company in the midwest and have now gotten a promotion so I'm near the management team. Another manager (not mine) became friends through a project and started to talk and hang out after work (highly discouraged). Shes very attractive and has a fantastic personality which is tough because I've always gotten along and am attracted to older women. But she's married and thats not a problem with me. She's a great friend and super supportive and I am the same with her with no expectations of changing her situation because we were just friends. Until I noticed there was more touching, more flirting, more everything. Once I noticed it I would kind of back off. One night she appeared at my door drunk and told me how her husband and kids just don't get her like I do and she started to kiss me. I was uncomfortable with this because she's still married and still a mom. I didn't let her drive anywhere but I made her sleep on the couch. She left in the morning and I figured she was too drunk to remember but I was wrong. We got teamed up for a project and she didn't want to work with me because I suddenly made her uncomfortable. After a few days I reached out and asked her what happened and she said ""the fact that you wouldn't event touch me or kiss me makes me uncomfortable. All I wanted was to have fun with you"".  I never told anyone and nobody else at work knows anything. AITA?",AITA for me (25m) for making my coworker(41f) uncomfortable for not accepting her?,NTA
10y5gw4,"So,(18F) I come home from a long day of school, stressed asf because of tests and just people in general. It was one of those days where you just wanna get home and relax. I walk in, say hi to my parents and sister before heading to the kitchen for a snack. I decide on a small sandwich before dinner, so I get to making. As I’m putting it together, my sister (14) comes over and asks me “what are you doing?”….It was plain as day that I was making a damn sandwich, so I ofc say “what does it look like I’m doing?” And I had no tone, I just said it, and my sister goes “could’ve just told me.” As she walks away, I look and see my mom staring at me. So I ofc go “.. do you want one?”And she says “No, just watching you.” So I shrug it off and continue making it, until she goes “You could’ve just said you were making a sandwich.”I’m confused, was I the AH??Edit: for the record everyone, she says the same type of crap to me all the time 💀💀 it’s how we talk to each otherAnother edit: for everyone commenting the same thing; we actually do spend a lot of time together. This was just one of the occasions of where we had a little bit of attitude with each other, we were literally laughing together not even a few minutes later about something that happened at school with her. We ‘argue’ all the time, and literally a few seconds later we laugh it off and be goofy with each other. Just a bit of more context for some people",AITA for being sarcastic to my sister??,YTA
10y7405,"Let me preface this by saying my brother (17 m) and I (15) hate each other. I’m not going to dive into that because it’s not what this story is about, but he is the reason I am in therapy.This was a couple weeks ago and it had snowed a lot the night before and everyone had been out shoveling all day. It was around 12 in the afternoon and my younger siblings (8m and 5f) were hungry so my mom asked me to make them lunch so she could finish shoveling. I brought my siblings inside and was helping them with their snow clothes when my older brother (who we’ll call B) asked me to go down to the basement to get his boot dryer.B wasn’t doing anything, he was sitting at the kitchen table so I told him no, I had to get my siblings out of their snow clothes and feed them. B continued to push me (he’s always had issues with taking “no” as an answer and tries to be the boss of everyone) whilst saying things like “Why do you have to be such a bitch?” And “It’ll take you like 2 seconds.” I told him no and eventually ignored him. He then called me an asshole and stormed off. So AITA?",AITA for not getting my older brother his boot dryer?,NTA
10y2cyt,"I (35F) have been with (36M) for about 5 years now. When we first started living together everything was great, but he gradually started getting angrier & told me that he was angry about the living situation (which was admittedly shitty) and it would be better once we got a house. So we got a house.Instead, it got worse. To the point where he had full on temper tantrums (not an exaggeration). When he started throwing things, I told him that was the line and he needed to go to therapy. Which he now does, but it's not really better. He stopped throwing things, but he still lashes out at me when he's frustrated, which is a lot.I've repeatedly pointed out that he never talks to anyone else but me like this, not even his coworkers. He says:>""...using some bullshit undefined standard as to how I would talk to coworkers doesn't work, not helpful and impossible to apply to this situation ""He also has what I believe to be unreasonable standards when it comes to living with someone, like today he got really mad because he assumed I had run the dishwasher last night and I didn't, and he accidentally used dirty silverware because he assumed it had been run without asking. Please note that:**a)** he's made a big deal about how I load the dishwasher before so now I always make a announcement about how I'm going to run it soon and he should inspect it if he wants to Which, in all fairness, I did actually do last night, but then forgot to go back downstairs and run it. **b)** there were plenty of clean silverware, just not the big silverware that he likes **c)** the little plaque that says ""dirty"" or ""clean"" was set to ""dirty""**D)** he never actually asked me if they were clean**E)** he won't run the dishwasher himself because the controls are too complicated and it makes him mad.The point being that he has lots of little things that has to be done HIS way or he gets upset, but when it comes down to things that bother me he's constantly ignoring it or arguing about it.So anyway now he goes to a therapist, but hasn't been showing much if any improvement. Lately he's been talking about things that bother him after his appointment. Fine, but like, he's telling me that I ""disrespect"" and ""dehumanize"" him by not giving him enough notice (three days! He had no plans!) when I want to do something by myself. So today I pretty much told him to pound sand because I wasn't interested in bending over backwards for him if he's not going to treat me with the same respect he gives his coworkers. And I feel bad because he IS coming to me with things that that bother him, and I'm basically telling him to fuck off. Especially after I missed a very important event to me because he threw a shit fit over it.But it IS kind of hypocritical for me to push back on requests for respect, especially when they're stemming from therapy appointments I insisted on.What say you?",AITA for shitting on my SO's requests after therapy?,NTA
10y4y0g," I've known this friend of mine for 5 years. He's a talented musician and has developed this new notation which could enable people to more easily transpose, improvise and so on. He's trying to spread this privately and via social media, but has trouble getting exposure. His goal is to found a music school (but he has no business experience or anything beyond his A-levels). I have (as I feel) given emotional support to P., listened to his concerns, helped him with shooting videos and even appeared in one even though I'm uncomfortable with that sort of thing. I have given him upwards of 600 bucks over the years, most of which I haven't gotten back. He has helped me over the years (dropped off food when I had Covid, got a sunscreen for my top-floor flat) but I never asked him to. He wants me to talk to my friends or his Mom (who I work for) so he can connect with them about the notation or just demonstrate it. I feel uncomfortable with this, as he can be pushy. He says I don't care about him at all, calls me a cold-hearted bastard, an a-hole etc. He thinks I owe him help due to the fact that he has helped me in the past, the fact that he has no one else, and the value of his idea. Am I the asshole for refusing?",AITA for not helping my friend?,NTA
10y8dka,"I'm a powerlifter and belong to a small gym next to where I work. It's a bit underequipped, but is super convenient so I don't mind. When I went in there today, there was only one other person in the gym, a woman in her early 20s. She was doing hip thrusts with a dumbell in the corner next to the only squat rack the gym has. I finished my deadlifts on the opposite side of the gym and went over next to her to start setting up my bar for squats. I hadn't started my set, but as I was loading my weights on, she picked up a 15kg fixed barbell and started squatting it next to me. I had begun setting up the bar before she started, and by no means *decided* to do squats specifically because she was doing them and I wanted to show her up. Its just a poor coincidence that she happened to be a couple of feet away from the only squat rack in the entire gym when that was the only exercise I had left.I wouldn't consider myself an intimidating or scary person by any means, I'm a 5'4, 23 year old female, so I didn't feel it necessary to wait for her to finish her workout before I began. 15kg is significantly less than my warmup weight, but who cares? I wasn't paying attention to her workout, so I didn't think she'd be paying attention to mine. I put a few more plates on my bar and started my set, at which point she rolled her eyes and sighed. I ignored her and carried on, but she was tapping her foot and staring daggers at me. I asked if she needed anything and she said I should stop ""grunting and throwing weights around"" (I wasn't) to try and ""prove something"". I just fucked off to the leg press.AITA? I understand that the gym can be hard for beginners, but I genuinely didn't think anything of it and wasn't trying to embarass her.",AITA for powerlifting next to the only girl in the whole gym?,NTA
10y3uh1,"I(29M) have been dating my girlfriend (29F) for three years. I'm proposing soon, I've already bought the ring. We have a very healthy, communicative relationship.Over the last few weeks, my girlfriend has been snapchatting her ex (29M) pretty frequently. A bit of background, they dated ~5 years ago and ended on amicable terms, but didn't really keep in contact at all. They weren't friends before they started dating. They have just ""reconnected"" in the last few weeks. She told me about it without me asking, and doesn't try to hide it from me when she messages him. Today, she texted me while at work to tell me she would be going out for drinks to catch up with her ex immediately after work. She is planning to be gone for ~3 hours. I haven't responded to her text yet. I'm pretty caught off guard. I trust her, and we haven't explicitly discussed the ""rules"" about exes in our relationship because it never came up before. I do know that she'd hate the idea of me hanging out with any of my exes, especially if we were alone. The more I think about it, the more I just need to know WHY she wants to see him. Does she want to establish a long term friendship? They weren't friends before they dated, so their only history is romantic. She has plenty of friends, why does she need to make an active effort to ""rekindle"" her connection with an ex? It's frustrating because I think she knows it would make me uncomfortable but is doing it anyway.  I have plenty of exes, but those chapters of my life are closed. The idea of spending 3 hours hanging out with an ex just does not appeal to me, and I know it would make her uncomfortable if I went and did that.But I know I can't stop her from hanging out with whoever she wants. I can't control her life, she gets to set her social calendar. But Would I Be The Asshole if I asked her not to go?  OR WIBTA if after she returns tonight, I ask her not to see him again?",WIBTA If I Asked My Girlfriend Not To Hang Out Alone With Her Ex Boyfriend?,NTA
10y7ul0,"I (15f) have started to refuse to do any housework that my mother has set me to do.Recently my mother (36f) has divorced my stepdad that up until their divorce has done all the housework on top of being the sole provider. This has caused a number of problems in their relationship because my mum, a stay at home wife refused to do any housework and when she did it was something half assed like everything misplaced but dishes (in the wrong place) and surfaces clean. she doesn’t help with handy work either, she would sit in bed while 8yr old me helped my stepdad repaint or build something because she didn’t want to.After he left (she cheated on him then he cheated on her.) the house has been in disrepair, mould growing, cracked walls, papers and letters everywhere, rotting pans. her room has signs of mild hoarding old mints melted on the windowsill e.t.c. despite being on benefits the house would still be dirty even though she did nothing all day. so i stepped up and deep cleaned semi regularly which i didn’t mind at all. I would get praised and all was well. But she wouldn’t keep the clean up and soon started a full time job with 4 days on and 4 days off. The house was often in disarray and she refused to clean so now daily I would clean after her and my little sister this would often take 2 hours after school, whenever i couldn’t clean because i was busy or sick she would tell me “you never clean.” “you clean once a month” “the house is dirty and i’m so stressed” this would be the next day after the house was spotless. she doesn’t cook dinner anymore, so i have to. she sometimes works in the mornings, so i drop my sister. I repaint, i mop, i hoover, i get feet infections because she walks around with dirty shoes on, I cook, I clean, I take care and study with my sister, I help read and write her emails. Every. Day. when i take a break because I spend all my time playing house wife because i’m sick or doing homework when she can but just doesn’t want to do anything. I get “you never clean”, “your so dirty.” or she huffs gruffs and moans because she expects it. I have my gcses in 3 months and all my time is spent cleaning after her and my sister and homemaking. i tried telling her i can’t but she reply’s “i don’t do anything anyways.” i want to let the house run to shit to show how much i do. But i can’t because that negatively affects me. i’m just so overloaded idk what to do. Am i the asshole",AITA for refusing to do any work in my house?,NTA
10y3bvs,"Throwaway.My (41M) wife (41F) and I have been together for nearly 20 years. In 2019 we had our first child (3F) Evelynn who was born prematurely. The doctors told us to be careful about who we exposed her to because of a weakened immune system. Then, around her first birthday the pandemic hit. Between us both trying to juggle jobs and be new parents alone and isolated, it was a lot of stress. During the pandemic we both worked remotely and split parenting duties.My wife was having difficulties with a toxic work culture. We both decided that she should take some time off to find something else she's passionate about. We didn't agree to any specific timeline but didn't have much debt, and were living well within our means so I was very comfortable with giving her the time she needed to regroup and reassess to find a new job. So she left her job in the summer of 2021.During this time, we had both been looking for job opportunities to move to a neighboring state so we could be closer to family. I ended up getting a great job offer and we relocated in November of 2021. At that time, my wife did an incredible job getting the house packed and sold and us moved into our new home. It was a lot of work.Since we've moved, my wife has applied for maybe one or two jobs. She was contacted by a headhunter and went through a few interviews, but nothing has stuck. She took some contract work with a design firm but didn't give it her all and they let the contract run its course. She said she wasn’t motivated.We put Evelynn in full time preschool in April 2022 so my wife could focus on finding a job. Preschool tuition is double what it was in our old city, and our new home is more expensive. Which is adding to the urgency of needing to find something, in my mind.She'll tell me about a job she may apply for, but then doesn't. Her brother and I have encouraged her to pursue more contract work and she hasn't done that either. She gets frustrated if I job search for her and send her anything that looks promising.She hasn't taken on additional responsibilities with the house, I still cook every night, grocery shop, split taking care of Evelynn 50/50, I let her sleep in on the weekends so that she feels supported in recovering from her work burnout but she hasn't taken on any additional responsibility.I'm fine with her not working if that's what she decides to do, it would just mean that Evelynn needs to stay home with her until she gets to kindergarten because the preschool payment is practically a second mortgage.So WIBTA, reddit, if I told my wife she needed to find a job soon? I know that it can take time, but I would like to see some progress made (setting a goal of 5 applications a month or something like that) on her part or some indication that she's working towards it? She admits she needs to find something, she's just not following through with it.",WIBTA for telling my wife she needs to find a job soon?,NTA
10y77zo,"First post and on mobile.Me (20f) and my sister S (17f) went to a concert for my favourite artist last weekend. I’ve waited 5 years for these tickets and we had to go far. I bought them months and asked S to go as someone dropped out. Due to this, I paid for the hotel room, train tickets and concert ticket. I just wanted someone to go with me and enjoy it. S doesn’t know this band well, only their most famous songs but was happy to go anyway. We went to the concert. We had a few drunk people who nearly ruined it: making us get up so they could get out of the row, towards the end someone accidentally hit S while dancing, I told them off and we tried to make the best of it. S got up and danced for 2 of the songs, and the rest she was sat down with a resting bitch face. This bothered me but I knew the drunk people were getting to her, and after waiting so long and travelling so far, I was determined to enjoy it. S said she enjoyed it too, but as soon as it finished she phoned our dad to complain. Once she’d finished talking to dad, she phoned mum and did the same thing. S complained about the drunk people, wished she had standing tickets, and although S said she enjoyed it, both phone calls were very negative. I could only call them after she was done but I was bit deflated at that point. Today the band released their international tickets. I was desperate to go again because I loved this album and wanted a potentially better experience.I was discussing it with dad and S overheard and said she’d like to go but for the ‘standing ticket’ experience even though she didn’t know 16/20 of the songs. I cannot get a standing ticket. I have a disability and cannot stand for long periods of time. She is very aware of this as we had seated tickets for the previous concert. S said that she’d pay for her ticket, we could travel together— I’d go to seated and her to standing. I said no, that I would buy two seated tickets like I did last time and invite one of my friends to go with me. I’d been discussing going on a mini-holiday with one of my friends in the same country the concert is in. This friend also loves the band, but couldn’t afford to go before. I said to S that I didn’t want to go with her. I wanted someone who would enjoy the concert with me— sing, dance and not complain. Also, while she would pay for her ticket, she probably won’t pay for the plane ticket, her half of the hotel room, and she wasn’t a joy to be around for most of those 48 hours. Even if mum offered to cover her half, I still don’t want to go with her. So I bought two seated tickets to the concert, and text my friend about potentially going. S got upset because she said I knew she wanted to go and deliberately bought two tickets and refused to offer her one (for her to reimburse me for). Mum asked me what my problem was. I explained my reasons again, and it was implied I was an asshole. So AITA?",AITA for not wanting my sister to come with me to a concert again?,NTA
10y6brp,"We have the biggest orchestra concert coming up we will have had probably 11 rehearsals to prepare. I’ve missed 3 due to car trouble or illness. I also have a degree recital coming up. Most of the time we are taken out of the rotation to alleviate the stress and focus on our recital. My section and director are upset and don’t feel like I’ll be prepared for the concert. Is it fair when they were awarded time away from orchestra to get ready for their degree recitals and have school affiliated jobs that work around their schedule flexibly when my work also does not amidst doing a recital in a similar amount of time? I feel like a jerk, while feeling like I maybe shouldn’t. They have school jobs and a strong support system whereas I have to work a serving job that doesn’t necessary observe my requests for time off and I also have to work a lot to pay my bills. Making it hard to “show up” sometimes.",AITA For missing some rehearsals?,YTA
10y55se,"My ex (M 39) and I (F 43) had been together for 9yrs. We have 2 children (7 & 5) and have lived together for a little over 7yrs. 4 yrs ago I bought a house and it is in my name only. He was bitter and upset about it, but we were not married and his credit was not good enough to be on the loan. So everything with the house is in my name. I was married before and have absolutely no desire to get married again. We had been having issues in our relationship for about a 1yr and everything came to a head right around Thanksgiving 2022 and after a brief separation (\~2wks) I could tell nothing was going to get resolved and told him I was ending the relationship. He still wants to work on the relationship & is still trying to convince me to get back together. I have told him No repeatedly & he needs to make plans to get his things. There is a shed in the backyard I told him I would store his things & he could come to pick them up once he got a place & got them settled.Now about the fish, about 2yrs ago he built a pond in the backyard and a neighbor gave him 17 fairly large Koi fish. These are not fish someone can put in a fish tank and keep inside and he has added more fish over the last couple yrs. There are still 15 large Koi and bunch of smaller fish. The pond has required a lot of upkeep and maintenance that he mostly took care of. I would help feed the fish occasionally, but for the most part, I wanted nothing to do with it. Now that we are split up and I have asked him several times what the plan for the fish & his things is & he never gives me an answer. He just keeps saying he wants to get back together. This is not going to happen & I have made that clear to him.Well, it's starting to warm up here and I can tell the pump needs to be fixed again bc it is barely moving any water and the pond water is turning green already. I have been feeding the fish every few days, but that is the extent of my knowledge of caring for the fish and the pond. I do not have the time or money to figure out what needs to be done, so I found a fish/pond guy in our area and told my ex the guy was coming to look at the fish in the next 2 wks & he was probably going to take the fish & I would fill in the hole for the pond. He flipped out & said he wanted the fish & that I can't just get rid of his things. It has been over 45 days since we split and he has made absolutely no plans to pick up any of things or told me any plans for the fish.So I told my ex he has until the fish/pond guy comes to get the fish, otherwise, I'm going to let him take them. He is LIVID & saying I can't expect him to find something to do with all these fish in a rental. He's saying I'm heartless and all the stuffs, but I really don't want to let these fish suffer bc of my lack of knowledge/experience/money/time/etc. I told him I don't want to deal with the pond/fish upkeep/maintenance and if hasn't picked them up before the other guy comes, he can have them.WIBTA for letting the fish/pond guy take the fish?",WIBTA for getting rid of ExBf Coy Fish?,NTA
10y87ru,"Okay, bear with me because there's a bit of backstory for this one.My (F31) sister (F42) has 4 dogs, 2 of which are not getting along at the moment. They're fine one minute and then one dog (40 lb Springer Spaniel) will jump her other dog (14 lb Chinese Crested) and they fight. The Chinese Crested has gotten injuries that required vet attention, but were not life threatening. My sister and her fiance have gone back and forth about rehoming the Springer (who was the most recent addition to the household after her other Springer passed away), but ultimately end up trying other ways of making their situation work. They've hired 2 dog trainers, they keep all toys put away, they crate the Springer when they're not home, and they've tried bonding walks, playdates with just the two of them, etc. These dogs get along 90% of the time, but since November they've had 4 fights.Onto the current situation: My sister is planning on going out of town for her birthday in 3 weeks. She doesn't want to leave her housesitter with the two dogs that may fight, so she asked if I could keep her for the weekend and I agreed. I have 2 dogs of my own (40 lb mutt mix and 9 lb Italian Greyhound). We have kept her Springer overnight and had her over a bunch of times, and my dogs have all gotten along with her, and there has never even been a WINK of an issue between them. We really think this is an issue between the two dogs that live together.However, this week they had another fight that scared my sister. She called me crying today saying they think they're going to have to rehome her but don't know when that will be. I feel awful for her, she has truly tried EVERYTHING to make her situation work. Here's where I may be TA though: She asked me if I was still comfortable with her dog staying at my house during their weekend away, and I said I wasn't going to lie, it makes me really uncomfortable. My Italian Greyhound is smaller and is even less solid than her Chinese Crested; if she were to decide that my dog was getting on her nerves, I have no doubt that she could severely injure him, or worse. I may have to tell her that I don't feel comfortable doing it anymore, which would mean that she can't go on her birthday trip. I grew up around dog fights and honestly just thinking about that happening is giving me major anxiety, just typing this out. My childhood dog was almost killed so many times after getting into fights with my mom's dog (we had to keep them separated at all times until I could move us out). I'm scared something will happen to my little dog, even though I don't really have a reason to be scared of this particular situation. WIBTA if I revoked pet-sitting privileges based on old fears?",WIBTA if I told my sister I can't watch her dog anymore after promising I would?,YWNBTA
10y870c,"so we have been knowing each other for years we are 18 and we go to gym together and we used to go to school together and... , we usually make funny jokes about eachother alot and we lauth it off but sometimes the jokes are kinda disrespectful and i dont like bieng mocked so i tell them to stop in serious tone but they just keep mocking until i get away from them , its been like this for years and i just didnt do anything more than usual.so one day i got really angry when we were talking online and told my friend ""get out of your house i want to fight"" then i wait for him in the street but he didnt take me seriously and thought i was joking so i went to the front of his house and started a fight and told him to never do this again(i couldn't beat him tho , i'm not a good fighter)then after half an hour my other friend comes and two of them told me to visit them and talk about it and i thought they are going to jump on me and beat me, since i didnt like bieng a coward i went to confront them but surprisingly they actually wanted to talk and told me it was just a joke and i over reacted like im at fault hereSO am i at fault or i did the right thing? what should i do?sorry if its too long.",AITA when my friends kept making fun of me and i started a fight,NTA
10y82sl,"I want to see if I'm the AH for being stubborn/unyielding on this, so I can do better for future relationships. We're both mid-20's.When he bought the house, we'd been dating for 7 months (but we both intended for it to be a serious, life-long relationship), and he didn't say that he expected us to live together in the near future. When he first looked at the house, he asked for my opinion, and I said that I didn't like it at all and would never live in it. It was overpriced, old (>110yo), and IMO decrepit, creepy, & ugly. He'd also have to spend money to fix things clearly wrong with it. He bought it anyway, so I assumed that he would live in it by himself and we could buy a different place together in the future if we get to that point.I bought a condo shortly afterwards (living with my parents hurt my mental health). I knew that he didn't like shared walls (main reason was sound, but my condo has good soundproofing), but I hadn't expected for him to live in it.We talked about our future later on, and turns out he actually expected me to live in his house with him right away, and that the only option now was for us to live in both places in rotation. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to live with him so soon into the relationship, never mind live with him in a house that he knew I hated. He broke up with me (a bit after 1 year of dating), but I was also pretty done by then (there were other contributing factors, but housing was the main one).After we broke up, I reflected on the things I did wrong (eg. our terrible communication, which led to the housing issue) and took steps towards improving myself. I wanted to improve myself for future relationships, but I still had a lot of feelings towards him, so I ended up reaching out to him a few months later to see if it'd be worth trying again. He said that he worked on himself too.During our discussions, I said I wouldn't live in his house, since I was clear about that from the start. I also had a lot of feelings of hurt and being disrespected surrounding this, and I wouldn't be happy living in the house. I'd also feel creeped/grossed out if I lived in it (it looks like a haunted house, and it's also not the cleanest). He suggested that we could both rent out our homes and then rent a place together to live in, but I said no because I'm not comfortable with the risk of being a landlord.I suggested that he can move in with me (for a few years, until we decided if we wanted to buy a place together) and I wouldn't charge him rent or anything. He'd pay his own mortgage, and I'd pay my own. His sister pays him rent to live at his home as a housemate anyway, so his house wouldn't be empty.He said that he didn't think that this was a reasonable compromise. I told him that if any ""reasonable compromise"" for him meant that I had to live in his house at all, then there was no point in us discussing anymore. He basically agreed that there's no point in further discussion, and I cut off contact forever.",AITA for refusing to live in my (now) ex's house because he bought it knowing that I hated it?,NTA
10y4ow1,"I am due to go on a 3-day weekend trip with 4 friends in June, specifically to go to a concert of a band we love. We didn’t lock down accommodation yet, just tentatively booked an Airbnb with free cancellation. We might also have the option to stay at a friend’s family place. However, we did buy concert tickets already and I paid my ticket. However, my grandparents who I didn’t see since Covid lockdowns are now planning to visit my city during the weekend of the holiday. As they live abroad usually, I rarely get to see them. They are super excited to see me and specifically to see my brother and I.  AITA for cancelling plans of my friends to stay at home and see my grandparents instead? Tl;dr AITA for cancelling plans with friends to see my grandparents who usually live abroad and didn’t travel to our country since Covid?",AITA for cancelling a holiday with friends to see my grandparents?,NTA
10y80s2,"This is long ad messy. In high I had two best friends. Mark(would be 32) and May(32f). I(30m) got kicked out of the house when I turned 16. Marks family took me in and became like my adopted parents. (Im 2 years younger)Mark and May started dating when they were juniors in HS. After they graduated Mark joined the military. During his first leave May became pregnant. Shortly after his return to service Mark passed away. We were devastated. She at the time was staying with Mark's parents and I was still living there.I took her to all of her appointments. Helped her through her pregnancy. They put Marks name on the birth certificate. By this time I had graduated early and was looking to go to local college.  I became busy with school but helped any time I could. Three years later I graduated got a good job and my own place. May moved in with me with her now 3 years old daughter Alice. Alice started calling me dada. We tried to persuade her not to do that. But we failed.A year of us living together I started having real feelings for May. I talked to marks parents and they gave me the green light. Nothing happened between us up to this point.Two yeas later we married. One year after that she gave birth to our daughter Jenny.Yesterday was Alice's 12th birthday. It was just me, May Alice, Jenny and Marks parents. We have told her about Mark throughout the years and she knows that he is really her dad. When Alice finished up opening her presents she pulled a last one out and handed it to me. I opened it and it was adoption papers. At some point Alice told May that she wanted to be ""officially"" my daughter.  I explained that she is my daughter and I love her with all my heart. I tried to explain that Mark is her birth father and that she is both his and my daughter. With that I gently explained that I don't think it was a good idea and I would have to think about it. She got upset and ran to her room. Marks parents ended up leaving.  May and I got in to a fight. I said I don't want to erase Mark from our history. After some back and forth she called me an AH and walked to alices room. She wouldn't let me in to talk and locked me out of the room. This morning she would not talk to me and Alice was still crying. I don't know what to do. Please help! Also I know it will be said divorce is NOT an option. I plan on going over to Mark's parents later tonight. ","AITA for not wanting ""officially"" adopting my daughter?",NTA
10y4iiu," My spouse(42M) and I(38NB) recently had our offer accepted for a home after months of searching. This is a big deal to us and huge milestone in our journey.My mom & MIL have both been kept up to date on it - they're thrilled. I haven't told my sis(43F) I was looking for a house, or that we bought one. Reason: we've had a very complicated relationship.Growing up, we were in an abusive home, where dad was emotionally, verbally, and financially abusive to us: mom, my sis and me. Mom was not able to leave until I was about 15. I was abused the least because I learned from watching mom and sis, & rarely got on dad's anger. My sis got the worst. Dad refused to pay for her exams cos 'all she's worth is marrying off', got shipped to his mom after, and only came back after she had a nervous breakdown a few months later. She didn't get to live her HS years and college life (never went) cos of him, but I did. I love her. I look up to her, but I was the 'annoying lil sib' to her. She lived HS & uni XP through me, and I loved having her around. But over time, my big milestones (grad school abroad, my wedding to my soulmate, coming out NB, etc), she wasn’t there. Physical was impossible due to her child's custody agreements that led to a police record - can't travel. It's not being there emotionally that started to hurt. She always had some big tragedy that made it hard for me to give good news, like I was rubbing it in.Over time, every convo had was about her, and if I try to bring up my stuff, it goes back to her. In Dec, she confided being in therapy & she said that she resents me. Just that. This was the last heartbreak I could stand. There's bad ones. Like me go LC/NC with extended family cos she claimed male members were being inappropriate w/her & finding out later it was false & now I'm estranged w/them; assaulting me & now I have scars; banning me from nibling cos I defender her from BD calling her 'too fat to f\*\*\*' (he makes my dad look like Mr Rogers). But the recent comment was it. The reason I'm LC cos she still lives in same place as mom & able to be there for mom. But after this, I didn't want to tell her I was house hunting because it feels like I'm rubbing it in. TBH, I don't need bad vibes. If I don't tell her, it’ll make her resent me more cos not telling her. WIBTA if I don't tell her about the house?",WIBTA if I don't tell sis I bought a house?,NTA
10y3fuh,Ok so I’ll try to be clear. I (17f) and my friend A(17f) like to make up dumb games together like word plays or stuff we find funny. The problem is when we share this game with our friend group. most of them don’t partake but two of them we’ll say B(18f) and C (17f) just imitate us with silly voices and clearly make fun of us . We told them countless of time that they are not funny but they just don’t stop. This week I have the Flu so I am at home and today they FaceTimed me. I first I thought it was to check on me but no it was to mock our new game we invented last week. BTW C promised not to mock this game earlier this week. So I just hung up and texted them that it makes me really sad that they do that. B said that she couldn’t say anything anymore ( it’s literally the first time I told her not to joke about something)and that I should have said something sooner. C apologised. None of them are mad at me but I feel horrible because I don’t want to be one of these people that are super easily offended and you can’t joke around. AITA ?EDIT : they don’t make fun of us for a long time ( maybe like 10 minutes each time) but what really bothers me is that they do it EVERY DAY maybe even multiple times a day.,AITA for as long my friends to stop making fun of me ?,NTA
10y6nt9,"You'll see I've had issues with coworkers in the past haven't we all? But I have one dude who's had a chip on his shoulder because of his superiority complex, including One day I told him to fuck off you are not my boss. Because yes he's had more time in. But his title is no higher or lower than mine.Today's escapades: we are currently understaffed so today I was the server, cook, and Front desk agent. In addition to that we had several deliveries that needed to be taken care of. Lastly had to set up for a large breakfast group this weekend.Once I was done with the breakfast stuff I put the food order away and reorganized the freezer to accommodate the 4 new products. And just put the new order in the coolers not rotated. Still in boxes.My boss knows ill get it over the next few days as I'm the only one who will take care of it. And they are fine with it.After lunch, the other deliveries started to show up. Luckily they weren't temperature sensitive so I'll let them wait till my relief came in for the front desk.Change of shiftI mentioned to said relief (dude mentioned above) we will call him CHIPOP: hey I'm gonna help so and so with the breakfast setup then put away the order neatly.Chip: no you won't just let the other guy handle it.OP: nah I want it done a certain way with this new setup (for context I do all the food and beverage purchasing and just recently set up a new storage room) Chip: no! The other guy can do it. So I tossed the keys on the desk and walked away. Helped set up for the breakfast stuff with, so and so.Little did CHIP know the storage room was already unlocked so I walked in there and took care of it and wow was I proud. I bounced back to the kitchen to take care of a rack of dishes I left earlier, and I didn't want to leave for the night shift. LOW AND BEHOLD CHIP WALKS IN the kitchen.Chip: Hey you need to go! With his usual attitude.Op: yep as soon as I'm done with this Chip: NO! you need to go now!OP: dude... you don't sign my paycheck.Chip: I'll just call the owner and .....(Toned him out at that point)OP: you go right on ahead, you do what you need to.I finished the one rack of dishes. Put on my coat and clocked out still wishing him and my other coworker a good night.",AITA Told a coworker to call the owner!,ESH
10y6bfe,So I (22 M) have been taking down my neighbors signs that they put on every light post and tree throughout the neighborhood. These signs are both lost dog and found dog signs as they found their dog and decided to put up posts up all over. I’m very happy for them and the fact they found their dog but that’s beside the point. I’ve been taking down the signs the posts seeing as they have been there for weeks and are rotting and falling off and their purpose has been served.My roommate (21 F) says it’s both not my responsibility and that it should be their decision to take them down when they want so I shouldn’t be doing it. While I see her point but I do not believe my neighbors will make the effort to clean up and I feel like I’m doing the neighborhood a service by helping out. AITA?,AITA for taking down signs throughout my neighborhood,NTA
10y5zua,"I (17F) am the drummer of the band, I joined 2 years ago when it only consisted of the guitarist (""Lee"", 18F) and the singer (""Ginny"", 17F), who's one of my closest friends (we've known each other way before the band).At first the 3 of us had lots of fun together and I loved being in the band. The problems started when Lee invited her friend, ""Nelly"" (18F), to play the keyboard for the band. She briefly played the keyboard at first but then decided she wanted to play bass instead. We were sceptic at first, as she had never played bass before, but Lee took her under her wing and gave her bass lessons.Unfortunately,she struggles to play right and the rest of us are slowed down. But what's especially a problem is her personnality. She's very stubborn and puts others down. Ginny and I are quite ""submissive"" people and will avoid conflict as much as possible, so when Nelly starts being stubborn and raising her voice we let it go. For example, she doesn't hesitate to tell us whenever we do something wrong (in a demeaning way), but god forbid we ever tell her she made an error, she would then start to get defensive and we would sure regret to have ever said something. Lee is kind of neutral in this conflict, but since she's her friend too, she doesn't want any conflict either.So, there have been some tensions for quite a while, and I can sense that Nelly doesn't like me. For quite some time I have felt miserable in the band, feeling constantly put down and not having the guts to stand up for myself.Another problem is the smoking. Lee and Nelly both smoke, and will take a smoke break every rehearsal. Because the basement doesn't have any windows and they always stay inside to smoke, Ginny and I always end up having to breathe the smoke. We always go home with our clothes and hair stinking of cigarette. We talked to them about it, and they will go further in the room (never actually outside) to smoke the first time, before forgetting about it and again smoking in front of us the times after that.In the present time, I have no motivation anymore. I don't enjoy the songs we're playing, we don't play concerts anymore, I hate coming home all stinky and I just don't like the vibe in general. I think it's just an accumulation of all the problems and I admit that right now I'm not doing very much effort to make things better.Ginny sees how miserable I am and says that I should just quit now. I had planned to quit when the year is over but it feels like it's in such a long time, and I really have 0 motivation. I already have another band that I love so I wouldn't be bandless, and I know it wouldn't affect my friendship with Ginny at all. However, I did have some good times with the band, Nelly can be very nice at times, and I would feel bad about abandoning the band in the middle of the year, when we're in the middle of learning new songs for potential future concerts.So, WIBTA for quitting now ?",WIBTA if I quit my band in the middle of the year ?,NTA
10y55az,"So I (19F) have a best friend of 7 years. We tell each other everything about each other’s lives and basically are family at this point.  I have been feeling low lately and I kept it quiet. My friend asked me to come watch a movie with him on the weekend just passed and I said Yh. 3 days after this conversation about going out, I ended up in hospital on the morning I was supposed to meet my friend. I didn’t want to worry him, so, I lied to him and told him I had a cold and needed to work on some course because I was behind. He said he understood and tha we can go next weekend. I feel bad for not telling him but at the same time it wasn’t tha bad right?ATIA?",AITA for lying to my friend about why I couldn’t meet him?,NTA
10y4qxt,"I (40F) have been with my boyfriend (43M) for just over 4 years. He works 8 months out of the year and is furloughed for 4 months. The first time this happened was during our first year together and since we didn't live together, it wasn't really an issue. The second year we now live together, he was only furloughed for a couple months and it wasn't so bad, and the third year he got another job that ended up not working out, but filled in the time he would have been furloughed. Now he is back at original job. He has been home for 3 months and has another to go and has done nothing. Before the furlough, we talked about it, and I expressed my concern about him being bored/lonely etc, but he said he would work on projects around our house and had a plan. He gets up with me in the morning around 6:30AM, starts my car, helps me get my lunch together, then after I leave goes back to bed until noon+. He just seems to watch a lot of TV and smoke a lot and drink. He collects unemployment, but it does not cover his cost for half the bills so I pick up the slack. He is very excited to see me when I get home from work, and I am pleased to see him, but it is stressing me out being the most important thing in his life. I am very independent, he knows this. I am an introvert, and I like my alone time. He is ignoring everything he knows about me and will just talk and talk for an hour or more. Yes, I have told him this is a problem for me, that I need some time to decompress, but it's like he can't help himself. On one level, I get it, he's lonely, depressed, and happy to see me. But I have asked him multiple times to do SOMETHING during the day. Clean the house, go fishing, visit his parents etc. I can see him getting kind of depressed and nothing I can do helps. I can't force him to do chores or get the projects he said he would done. He's an adult and can make his own life choices. He does not want to see a doctor and has no money for therapy. This situation is making me sad and depressed too. So, WIBTA if I tell him I can't do this again and ask him to go stay with a friend or his parents for his next furlough? or get at least a part time job for the furlough period.  I don't need to hear I have a boyfriend problem. I do not want us to break up. When he is working, he is a different man and I love him. There's not enough space here to write about the good stuff, this question is about something other than all that. INFO: I own the house, pay most of the bills, buy all the food etc. He makes a lot less money than me. Yes, I potentially have more power because of that and feel like I may be an asshole for making this request or asking him for other options for what he can do during his next furlough. He will do chores with me on the weekends when I'm home just like we have always done when we are both working. WIBTA if I even bring this up? Am I over reacting?",WIBTA is I ask my BF to move out for his furloughs?,YWBTA
10y4bjx,"I apologize for any grammar or spelling mistakes, english is my 3rd language.I've already posted this once but I felt I left out a lot of detail. It all started when I (13F) had a discord server with kids in my school/kids near me around my age that either me or my friends knew. It was fun and everyone were chill with each other. If anyone is curious, the server is now deleted.This guy (14M) who went to my school joined the server. Some other members were making fun of him and I defended him because what they said wasn't right. We became friends and started to talk.The next school day during lunch he walked up to me, grabbed my shoulder and said: ""Are you that girl from discord? It's me, ___.""We had a short conversation and I genuienly got along with him. We started to talk more and more on discord until he asked me out one day. I am a lesbian, and even if I wasn't I don't think I would be interested. Not because he's unattractive or rude I just wasn't really interested in having a romantic relationship at all. I tried to explain that to him in the nicest ways possible and he said it was okay. I felt a bit bad since I knew how he must've felt but he seemed okay with it, but man, he was NOT.If I remember correctly the next morning I woke up to around 17 long messages asking me why I wouldn't date him since we were ""meant to be together"". He said I was ""perfect, beautiful, intelligent"" and whatnot. I thanked him for the compliments but once again explained in the most polite way I could that I was just not interested and that I wish him luck to find someone else. He lost it. Sent around 300+ messages daily telling me he'll hurt someone or himself if I didn't date him. I didn't know what to do so I blocked him but he kept approaching me in school and even his friends pressured me to give him another chance.He just got worse and explained how he would turn me straight and that I was just mentally ill. I told my friends and parents and he got VERY mad that I shared that ""private information"" between us. He also harrassed my friends. He said bad things about christianity to my Christian friend, said abliest things to both me and my other friend (we are both autistic) and even made fun of him for his weight.At this point I was done. I didn't want to accept that he was being an asshole to both me and my friend. I lashed out at him VARIOUS TIMES telling him he's a creep, a stalker (he took pictures of me around school and sent them to people), a homophobe and a lot more. He blocked me, unblocked me and then apologized but when I questioned ANYTHING he got mad and blocked me again calling me a whore.He has unblocked me now but we don't talk. I don't feel like talking to him. Me and my friends thought it was hilarious and laughed about it but it just feels like we were making fun of him. And I had yelled at him and called him things. I was really mad but I'm not sure whether I did the right thing. Just any advice would help!",AITA for lashing out at my friend?,NTA
10y3jls,"First time post. I (27F) am a law lecturer with 2 degrees and will sit for the bar exams in my country in June. My fiancé(28M) let's call him Jake, is a lawyer. My brother OB, (19M) is an IT student at a very prestigious University. Now, this whole issue started when OB was delayed 1yr in school as a result of a mistake on the part of his Uni Department. Jake got furious and decided to take the University on. Upon contacting them, they decided to settle but the amount could not even cover a semester's fees and OB refused. He was then contacted by his Head of Department to meet with him today and he flat out refused the offer and brought a counter offer stating that, he'd spoken with his lawyer(Jake) about it. When he called Jake, he texted back that he was in court and should therefore call me to speak to the HOD since I knew the full details. I spoke with him and when he was not budging, told him to call Jake after court since it's clear he doesn't want to talk to me. A few hours later, Jake called and said the HOD said I was rude to him and very unprofessionalso,  he'd like to conference call all parties to straighten things out. During the conference call, OB revealed he'd recorded everything and that was when the HOD started fumbling and calling me unprofessional and a common intern to Jake who is a lawyer. Mind you, if I'd just read law and gone to the bar, I'd be Jake's senior at the bar but I was into academia and focused on that only. Now, Jake did not defend me but rather apologised on my behalf and I understood because we were trying to get my brother the best offer. After the call, my brother recorded a message about how he wants to tell the HOD is mind, which I advised him against. Then, I forwarded the recording to Jake with a lot of laughing emojis. Jake then blew up and said my brother and I should rein in our tempers as he's trying his best to get him the best. And that with this attitude, he'd end up losing everything. So I got pissed and told him he should have asked me what I told my brother after he sent that recording and that even though he's dealt with clients, I deal with over 300 students a day and I'm also an academic guidance counselor so I wouldn't let my own brother shoot himself in the foot. That, I'm not that condescending and inconsiderate. He apologised but I feel like I was too harsh and may be the AH. So, Am I?",AITA for telling my fiancé I'm not condescending nor inconsiderate?,YTA
10y2trj,"To preface this, I just want to say that I am usually always letting cars go and it was just this 1 time I didn’t. I always make sure to let at least 2 cars marge in from 2 out of the 3 sub-roads. I’m a nice enough person, not some grinch.So, I was exiting the school and there is only 2 exits entirely, however 1 is always blocked at the end of the day for buses so there is only 1 exit. Now, picture 125+ cars trying to get out of 1 exit, not fun right?I was traveling down the main chute (exit) and there is about 3 more sub-roads that connect on, with stop stop signs meaning they don’t have the right away.Basically, I had the right away and a car was coming from one of the sub-roads connecting to the main road and I didn’t let them merge in and instead just went with the flow of traffic.After this, a teacher making sure kids could cross the cross-walk without trouble knocked on my window and made a rolling down gesture and told me that I was essentially in the wrong and that I should let people go (I always let people go, so this was a surprise to me). We didn’t get into an argument but I essentially asked him if I was legally in the wrong, which he replied “no” and a couple of other comments he made and we both went on our ways.AITA for not letting a single car merge?",AITA for not letting a car cut out in front of me?,NTA
10y8heh,"i live in a flatshare with two other 22 year olds in london. many of you may know the uk is experiencing a cost of living crisis where electricity and gas bills are excruciatingly high. when this crisis started, we as a flat (unfortunately like a lot of the country) agreed to not use the heating arbitrarily and preferably not at all.some context: it’s winter here at the moment, experiencing average 0 degree (celcius) nights and we live in a flat with no insulation and single glazing so admittedly it can get cold. me and one of my other flatmates (let’s call her kate) have made some investments to avoid having to use the heating e.g. oodies and hot water bottles to use when it gets cold. our other flatmate (let’s call her alice) however uses it a lot (when we have previously said i would appreciate if she used it less she said she cannot sleep without it).i have used the heating in my room sparingly since the start of winter, i will put it on for half an hour or so on a particularly nippy night whilst i don’t think kate has used her’s at all. we all pay equal bills so i am always extra aware of how my actions may affect how much everyone is going to have to pay.i’m currently working one job with a zero hours contract and am also on universal credit but am struggling to pay the rent and have had to subsequently ask my parents for rent money the past two months so the financial repercussions of the following event are at the forefront of my mind. alice is aware of my situation yet that seems to not have affected her reaction towards me.last night alice had a friend of ours stay in the living room. when i went to talk to them in there just before midnight i noted it was hot. alice said she had put the heating on to warm up the room for the friend. when i went to see the friend at 3pm the next day, the heating was still on. meaning it had been on full blast for at least 15 hours, heating a large room with large single glazed windows. the cost of that i know is going to be unimaginable just based on our current bills already being crazy high.i texted her to let her know about this. despite being unhappy about the fact, i sent the following message with as much self-restraint as i could: “btw the heating was left on in the lounge until i went in to see (friend) at 3pm today. cant be affording that sort of stuff so please be careful next time”. she then exploded on me and accused my message of being passive aggressive.AITA for making her aware of her mistake and asking that she be more considerate?tl;dr AITA for calling my flatmate out for leaving the heating on full for 15 hours in a cost of living crisis?",AITA for asking my flatmate to not use the heating,NTA
10y8c6h,"So a few weeks ago I was at the gym with my friend. We were dancing having a good time. There’s a height difference of nearly a foot between us. I put my hand up and I’m not sure if I’m the reason he was tapped in the face or he was. I started laughing because this was completely unintentional and I said “my bad”. This normally is a adequate form of apology between us.So instead of it not being a big deal like I thought it’d be my friend made a scene and started demanding an apology for slapping him in the face and disrespecting him. I tried to explain it wasn’t on purpose and that I wasn’t going to give him a formal apology(I’ll explain my reasoning behind this later.) about 20 minutes go by, we’re still working out but haven’t said a word to each other because I was letting him cool off. I tried to make a joke about the booty sweat stain he left on the machine and he repeatedly said “I’m not talking to you.”. This finally caused me to get irritated because over the last year he’s done things I found incredibly disrespectful and I never caused such an issue besides telling him that the things he did wasn’t cool in my opinion and he never gave a shit to formally apologize or pay to fix my belongings.1. He did me a favor last year when I moved and took my table to his house. He said he didn’t have room and he’d put it outside. I told him to just put it in shade and put a tarp over it. He proceeded to not put the tarp on in the middle of august in Southern California and my $800 wood table was damaged. He never told me until it brought it to my house a week later then didn’t apologize and told me just to get wood glue to fix it.2. The same time he got my table I lent him a dresser I wasn’t using. He told me 8 months later that he didn’t have room for it and it’s been sitting outside on dirt getting rained on under a tarp for the last two months. I acknowledge that it would of been much easier to just apologize and go on with my day but when he requested the apology with an attitude I immediately thought of these two situations and it annoyed me he needed an apology because his ego got hurt but had no issue with damaging my belongings.I’ve decided regardless of what you say unless he hits me up first to talk about these issues  I’m fine with never speaking to him again due to this entire situation. Regardless if we talk I don’t ever plan on being as close as I once was with him. I’m just curious if I’m justified due to our friends telling us to get over it and stop being petty.",AITA for not giving a formal apology to a friend?,ESH
10y8bu0,"My (15,F) mother (46F) has thing where she often says she is sick. What she does is that whenever she feels something she checks Google about it and starts freaking out. For example, she once saw that the small bump on her head could be a sign of a deadly disease and so she visited 3 doctors and eventually got it removed but they all told her it wasn't really a sign of whatever she thought it was.Another time she felt pain in her wrist and then she told she must be terminally ill and then she also got an appointment and it turned out nothing was wrong. There have been many other occurrences of this over the past few years, but these are the ones that happened this year. I also want to mention she does have a therapist but that doesn't really stop her. She has changed her therapist too after we moved. It's always been this way though.Anyways around 2 weeks ago, she said she felt like her legs are numb. She then laid in bed and would ask me and my siblings to get her food or get her a cup of water or even hand her something that would be right by her bed. But she would use the bathroom across the hallway no problem. My dad eventually got her to see a doctor who said she was fine.That didn't put a stop to it. Today, she told us she is probably paralysed and is dying soon. This scared my brother (12,M) and he couldn't focus on studying for his exam at all. My sister (10,M) also started crying. At this point I got really mad and I blew up at mom. I told her that I don't really believe her and that I'm sick of taking care of her when she's doing just fine and only being lazy. She started crying really bad so I just left and I locked myself in my room. Now I'm thinking about it and feeling really guilty because I still like my mom, I just don't like when she starts to pull this stuff and I feel like I could have dealt with it better. AITA?",AITA for blowing up at my mom?,NTA
10y881f,"So am like to start by saying that no I am not worried about her cheating on me and no I have not said anything other than “ok” whenever she has brought it up.My fiance's ex-boyfriend is going out of town for a couple of weeks on a business trip that is out of state and asked my fiance if she could watch his dogs while he's down there. My fiance jumped at the chance cause she has missed these dogs dearly and caring for them was one of the big highlights of their past relationship. She's very excited to see these dogs again because we don't have dogs (cat household) of our own due to my bad allergies and she's a big animal lover. Typically this would be fine but there are a few things that make me a little uncomfortable about the situation. For one, she's doing it completely free. He can afford to pay her for her time and he had offered to do so but she's volunteered to do it for free because she's so excited to see these dogs again. Two, she will be spending the night there. These dogs are special needs and need nightly medication and to be let out for bathroom breaks at least once a night. His apartment is about 45min away from ours so it's impractical for her to drive there and back in the middle of the night.I know they are not hooking up because he's a social media manager for a large brand and will be posting online regularly about the conference. All of this results in me feeling terrible because I wanna talk about this but I know I don't have a good reason to feel this way and I don't want her to think I don't trust her. Also, I'm nervous she'll resent me for making her miss out on visiting two animals that she truly viewed as her own pets for a significant portion of her life.So am I the asshole?",AITA for being weirded out that my fiance is dogsitting for her ex?,NTA
10y87ur,"OK so my friend messaged me today as we talk a lot and see each other quite a bit. She says that she wants to see me, talk, and eat. I agree because I enjoy her company and her as a person. We set a general time in, but nothing is set in stone because I would come over only after her gaming session with her friends, they could stop at any time 8 PM -11pm. So I asked her if I could bring my laptop to study for my new job so if we talk or eat I could study as well. She says no unless it is very urgent which is understandable and I agree to not bring it. she then tells me that she is very tired after not getting much sleep last night and after we talk going straight to bed. Me, her, our friends, and her boyfriend all hung out yesterday and went out. she drove him home and didn’t get home until early 1 AM because of traffic and just the distance. I find out today that said her boyfriend invited her out to a play the previous night which would be scheduled for tonight. She says she has to figure out what’s happening with her gaming group so she doesn’t give a straight answer. I was unaware of this interaction and only found out today AFTER she invited me over for food. The play starts at 8 PM and runs until 11 PM and by the time she would get home it would be midnight. Which she would then want to talk afterwards, but not for long after that. The gaming session with her friends generally starts around seven or eight and runs late, however if I am with her at the time she generally hops off earlier. She begins to tell me that if the gaming session with her friends doesn’t end up happening she’s going to make new plans with her boyfriend and go to the play. I am not annoyed that the two are hanging out I am very supportive of it, however I am annoyed that if the gaming session doesn’t happen the plans were changed and the entire timeline would be messed up because I would not only have to worry about time of transportation, but also sleep for me as I also have to get up early in the morning. I expressed this concern to her and she just invites me to come along with her and her bf, nice but the tickets are $150-$200. I try to expressed to her that I am annoyed that the level of tiredness or exhaustion gets dismissed if D&D gets canceled, and therefore our time together and invitation get very delayed, And will both affect our sleep schedule. She hasn’t answered yet and I’m afraid she’s mad now. AITA?",AITA for being mad that my friend would change our somewhat loose plans if a different plan doesn’t happen?,NTA
10y8777,"Hi AITA fam, Long time lurker, first time poster. This AITA is not about one instance – more, does my approach make me an asshole. For some context, my partner (44M) and I (33F) have been together for 8.5 years, lived together for around 6), and are both recently diagnosed with ADHD, though our symptoms manifest in radically different ways, and we manage ourselves differently as a result.My partner provides extremely frequent unsolicited feedback on my way of doing simple or everyday tasks (ex: how I hand wash our dishes, how I drive, my posture when I sit at my desk, how I hold a knife when chopping veggies). He also provides frequent and unsolicited feedback on some of my ADHD related dopamine regulating/seeking behaviours (like fidgeting, nail picking, being on my phone while watching TV, needing to keep myself busy during my free time or using my devices in bed sometime). Its more frequent when he’s stressed. While I am 100% open to examining/modifying behaviours that have a direct negative impact on him or anyone else (ie. If being too loud or distracting) or which could be safety concerns, and frequently adjust what I am doing…. I’ve gotten frustrated with the sheer volume of repeated feedback I get and have started telling him thanks but no thanks (ex: “Thanks for pointing out my nail picking, but I don’t find this behavioural issue to be worth the time it would take to change and I don’t plan to address it.” “Thanks for letting me know you would like me change how I’m doing dishes, but they come out just as clean my way and I am fine with how I’m it – you’re welcome to take over if you prefer”).My partner thinks an adult, once presented with the right or better way to do something, should take it on board and put the effort in to adjusting the behaviour. He thinks its immature for an adult to just say, “I don’t wanna” and ignore ""good"" advice. I think an adult should be allowed to say no thanks to unsolicited advice on personal habits that dont harm orhers, and that I have a right to dictate how I do simple tasks, and prioritize what behaviours I want to put effort into modifying (if any).I’ve spent so much of my life trying to neurotypical (sit still, measure up….) as I was only diagnosed a year and a bit ago… now that I have the tools to understand why I do things my own way and why changing certain behaviours is so painstakingly hard for me (you have no idea how hard ive tried to quit nail picking over the years!), just want to be free to let my neurodivergent freak flag fly without feeling judged in my home. Am I the asshole for not wanting to change behaviours that don’t bother me and don’t negatively impact him, even if there could perhaps be a slightly more perfect way do things in some cases?",AITA for refusing to take potentially good advice?,NTA
10y7yr9,"For context, this actually happened a year ago, but my best friend has brought this incident up on numerous occasions now, and I am wondering if I am to blame. So one night about a year ago, I was working on an essay for one of my classes, this essay was worth a decent chunk of my grade and was due at midnight. I remember it being around 10:30 pm, I had done a good amount of my essay and was on track to finish before the deadline. Now for a little context: about a week prior my best friend's girlfriend broke up with him, and he did not seem to be handling it too well. So I answered the phone, and he told me that he impulsively took a lot of mushrooms to ""get his mind off of the breakup"" but instantly regretted it as he was in no headspace for a drug trip like that. He told me he was becoming paranoid and anxious and did not know what to do. At first, I tried talking to him for a little bit to calm him down but then I realized that I still had to finish my essay for that night and could not just keep talking to my friend or I would possibly fail that class. I obviously wanted someone to come and check up on him to make sure he was doing okay because there's only so much I can do over the phone. So you might have guessed it by now, but I called his ex-girlfriend and got her to check up on him as she was the only one close by that I knew could make sure he was alright. Over the phone, I explained the situation, and she agreed to go check on him. I gave my friend a warning that I sent her to go look after him for a little, and when she arrived, we hung up the call so they could talk/she could watch him. I also let one of our mutual friends know what was happening and asked him to give my best friend a call after his ex-girlfriend left the place. He also agreed, I got back to my essay, and I thought that was that. Well after the situation my best friend's ex-girlfriend was pretty pissed at him for what he did. I think this got to his head a bit, and at the same time, it seemed like he was eyeing at me as the one to blame for this. I explained to him that I only sent her to his place for his own sake and safety, but I am still not quite sure he understands that. For example, we were hanging out the other day when he randomly says ""hey do you remember the time when I was having that bad shroom trip and called you, but you had to finish your essay instead?"" or something along those lines and it always goes that way. I usually respond with an awkward chuckle and try to explain to him my side of things, but I don't think he understands as he still keeps bringing it up from time to time. My belief is that my best friend thinks I put that paper over him/our friendship even though that would mean purposely failing it just to talk to him because of a problem he created for himself. So now I can't help but wonder if I am looking at the situation wrong and owe my friend an overdue apology. So reddit, am I the asshole?",AITA for not helping my best friend while he had a bad psychedelic trip?,NTA
10y7ya5,"New account for obvious reasons. Let's call my friend Ashley (25F). So recently I (21M) tried to basically change my life for the better and not keep toxic people in my life and so on. It's been going great. Now, Ashley isn't toxic, but she's very meh friend. We've basically been friends for 2-3 years now? I met her through my other friend, Nicky (not her real name) and we immediately hit it off. We talked non stop for days then weeks then months and so on, but she always did this odd thing with me and Nicky( Btw Ashley only knew Nicky for 2 months before she met me) where she'd obviously prioritize her over me, now this isn't me being jealous, trust me I could care less, but like she'd make it so obvious and that's what weirded me out, she'd ignore me just to text her, they'd go out without me, but when Ashley asked me to go out with her Nicky was always there with us plus some other stuff I won't get into because I don't want to bore you. Now you might think that I was just jealous again or some sort and why was I forcing her to be friends with me when she obviously didn't want to and the thing is, I wasn't. SHE was. She'd ONLY talk to me about her problems because Nicky wouldn't understand them to the point that Nicky has this complete different imagd of Ashely in her head and Ashley herself asked me not to ruin it for her. Anyways, this past few months she stopped texting me herself, if I did we'd call and talk for hours but she'd never text me herself so I made a decision to basically not talk to her, I had many amazing friends who actually gave me attention themselves without me literally getting it from them. So that's how past 3 weeks passed. I did not text her.. she didn't either, and now she texts me at 3 am that her husband cheated on her and now wants a divorce.. Ashley doesn't work, she had a kid and her husband is the bread winner, it's tough.. she texted me that he talked to her that day normally and then came back home asking for a divorce. She said she needed to talk to someone and she couldn't with Nicky because she wouldn't understand. Idk what to do. I'm just sitting here thinking that I shouldn't text her because I'll basically let her step over me and my pride but at the same time, she's in a rough spot.. I'm concerned for her. I made my decision not to text her, but I want other opinions as well. WIBTA if I just ignored her even though I know that that's the last thing she needs?",WIBTA if I ignored my friend while she's going through a nasty divorce?,YWNBTA
10y7o0g,"We're selling everything to put our house on the market and move out of the country (me, 40f, housemate ""Fred"" 39m). The last rooms to be cleaned out are all his areas. Fred also has ADHD and there are executive function issues.I offered to list the big items that need to be moved out of the garage for sale online to start clearing out the space so we can do repairs. ""Dave"" wants an item that's listed at $1k; he has questions and wants to talk to someone on the phone. Fred refuses to speak on the phone with Dave. He says he will answer questions via email, and if Dave wants to come by and take a look he's welcome to, but that it's weird that the person wants to have a phone call when it can be an email.I sympathize with this up to a point. I understand the nuerodivergent avoidance of phone calls. I get that Fred struggles with this kind of stuff which is why I offered my executive functioning to assist in the first place. I am on board supporting with accommodations 100%---But I also pointed out that Dave might be elderly, have poor vision, or low computer literacy skills, and talking on the phone could be the accommodation HE needs. If I was going to drop a thousand bucks on something, I probably would have questions. We're at an impasse. I explained that I think everyone is just trying to do their best--Dave thinks his requests are reasonable, and Fred thinks his boundaries are valid. There's not much else for me to do except kiss this sale goodbye, but I do find it frustrating that there is a lot of unseen labor and mental load involved in answering all the emails and fielding questions as best I can, but at the end of the day these aren't my items and there is a certain amount of human interaction required to sell them that I don't have the background for or knowledge about. And frankly a phone call is worth $1k to me. I told Fred that I heard and understood his boundaries and that I would let Dave know no phone call would be forthcoming. I voted that we drop the subject, but it wasn't a tense conversation. We just had other stuff to get on with.But a few minutes later Fred texts me from his part of the house saying ""Fine, I'll call him"" which made me want to burst into tears because I'm not some nagging mom telling a child to clean their room. I'm also not advocating for Fred to just bend to my will and make the phone call--this is his stuff, and he can sell it however he wants. But I'm tempted to say I won't list any more items on his behalf, because it's logistically difficult and doesn't feel like we're cooperating as a team. If we don't get this stuff sold it will seriously set us back in our timeline of moving, meaning Fred will have more weeks of work at the stressful job that's depressing him; however, I can't hold Fred's hand the whole way.AITA for wanting more assistance with this? WIBTA if I backed out of helping my friend in this way?Edited to reduce character count.",AITA for wanting housemate's help to sell his stuff?,NTA
10y7mhk,"I got sick for the last day or so and so I was bed ridden for the entirety of it. Naturally I would play games and watch stuff just to let the time go by, but even then it was just painful to do that. Now this girl I’ve been interested in, we’ve been talking for months and we’re both very interested in each other and want to meet soon, but we’re across the world. So she was there as much as she could be for me, but obviously me being sick, I couldn’t even speak at the time so I couldn’t even talk with her. I was so out of energy that I could barely even watch anything let alone be with someone and interact with them. Now keep in mind, of course I want to be with her this whole time, but I was physically incapable of that. ffw and I’m feeling a little better the next day, and so my brother (who barely ever has time to play) asked me if I wanted to play a game that I’ve been playing a lot lately. So naturally I say yes and am super excited about it. I told her I was gonna be playing with him for a bit so I wouldn’t have time. And she says “That’s ok, I understand. Have a good time!” So I go and play with him. We play for maybe half an hour and he’s gotta go. So I text her to see if she wants to talk, because I haven’t been able to see her this whole time and I missed her. She says she’s busy and that she can’t and says that I should keep playing. So I play and wait for her to be done. Then she comes to me in the game I was playing and is mad at me for not giving her any time anymore, even though we talk every single day for hours, and that I’m too obsessed with the game, even though I barely have time to play anything these days since I’m busy with work and I always gave up my free time for her. She even claimed that the only way for her to get to me was from the game, but she never even texted or called me to see. The worst of it was that no matter what I said, she just said I was a liar and that I didn’t want to see her anymore (which is the furthest thing from the truth).I’m not sure what to think about it. What do you think fellas?",AITA for playing games while I was sick?,NTA
10y7icf,"Burner, but I think this story is so specific she'll see it and know it's me anyway.I (31 M) was preparing dinner when my partner (30 F) came down. While I was finishing up plating everything she mentioned she had been watching celebrity makeup videos and beauty routines. After she told me a bit about them I asked how she feels about most of these videos being paid partnerships / product placement and not really their daily routine. She asked if I was questioning if she understood advertising and I said no, I was just curious if it impacted how she thought of the product or celebrity. After some back and forth about why I would ask that she said that I was insulting her intelligence, ruining these videos for her and just poking holes in the things she enjoys. I tried to make one more analogy - if you listen to a song and it means one thing to you when you hear it, but then the writer/band talks about what the song means to them you see it from a different perspective. That did not go over well either. I said I was sorry if she felt that I was being dismissive or tearing down something she enjoys, but I was curious if that impacted how she engaged with the videos. I mentioned that sometimes I'll watch those reels on youtube where people interview ""strangers"" and they are v. obviously staged but I still find them funny... AITA? Should I not ask questions like these?",AITA for ruining celebrity make up videos for my GF,YTA
10y7e60,"I will be using fake names for this post.My friend (Shelly) and I are very good friends that attend the same university. Her boyfriend (Josh) also attends the same university. About roughly a week ago, Shelly got together with Josh. I have not actually spoken to Josh before. Today, I saw Shelly kiss Josh goodbye. She then left the campus. I was waiting around for a friend and happened to notice that around a few minutes later, after she had left, Josh approached another girl (Lizzy) and they were really close together. They were pushing up against each other and making quite a lot of physical contact. Then, Josh gave the girl his drink. After she accepted, I also overheard him say that he'll buy her one tomorrow, too. I understand that this situation is nothing explicit like cheating or anything, but it felt as though they were quite close to one another. I also understand that Josh and Lizzy may just have a really strong friendship. Shelly currently seems very happy, and I do not want to create any problems for her or her relationship.WIBTA if I mentioned this event to her? I really do not want to upset her. I just want the best for her. Would it be better to keep it to myself?",WIBTA for asking my friend about some actions made by her boyfriend that I was a little worried about?,NTA
10y6q9t,"Last night, I went to the gas station down the road and as I approached the door to walk out, a lady was about to open it to come in. The doorway had two doors so I headed for the other one. The lady got to the doorway before I did and as I was approaching, I noticed she hesitated before opening it. She pulled the door open to walk in right as I got to the pair of doors, but I remembered the second door was always locked, so I moved to the locked door side because the other side had a drink machine in the way, plus, I would’ve had to walk in front of her to cross over.  I waited for her come in first and politely said “excuse me.” She told me “you got no fucking manners and a man is supposed to open and hold the door for a woman.” I was so confused and explained that I would’ve had to push her out the way to open it and hold it because there was a drink machine in the way and I even let her come in first. She just shook her head and told me to learn some manners. What should I have done?Edit: I think the only reason that I could be the asshole is not going out of my way to open a door Im not using for someone…which is ridiculous.",AITA for not going out of my way to hold the door for a stranger?,NTA
10y60vs,"I'm in [Sixth Form](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sixth_form) [(Year 12)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Year_12).\~2 weeks ago, I (Black 17F, I promise race/ethnicity is fairly important for this explanation) made a joke towards a girl who I'll call Xavia (White Traveller 16(?) F) who was sitting on the table with me and 3 other friends while we played a card game. The girl called me a bitch, not bc of the joke as it was not offensive in any way, shape or form, but she said I gave her a ‘proper dirty look’ while telling it. I told her that I was sorry that she saw it that way bc I genuinely didn’t mean to give her a dirty look. I was really uncomfortable for the rest of the round and after the round I told the friend I was closest to (friendship-wise) on the table, who I'll call Emilia (Black 16F), I was going to a different room.I later found out from Emilia that while I was gone, X said that I was rude and potentially said smth about me being racist to white people\*???\*Sorry to circle round back to the past in this story, but for context for this statement, in my English Lit class, Xavia mentioned a girl who went to my school a few years back, who I'll call Orange (16/17???, White Traveller) who was basically recorded saying some abhorrent full-on racist tirade while in a Snapchat group chat, saying things like black people should go back to their countries, saying the n-word and [Pakistan without the stan](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paki_(slur)) etc.I asked how Xavia knew Orange and said she was one of her or her best friends (don't remember what exactly was said). I kind of did a double take bc of what I knew about her and asked why she was friends w/ someone who said all those things. X said it was in response to one of the people in the group chat as she was called a '[p\*\*ey](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pikey)' by one of them, and she said it was tit for tat. I said although I wasn't condoning the racist comment Orange had received, she still wasn't justified in saying all of those things, but I left it at that and just got on with my work.The day after the card game thing, I ended up attempting to talk to Xavia which she refused to do and told me to go fuck myself. I told her 'fuck you' in response and gave her the finger. She's been doing weird passive-aggressive shit ever since and I fucking hate it. She's in my best friend's tutor and my best friend told me she heard her talking about the situation to others and one of her friends (who is also in my English Lit class) said she thought I was being too sensitive, and laughed at me with Xavia, and deliberately gave me her phone number even tho I've made it abundantly clear I don't want to speak to Xavia because last time I tried to she told me to go fuck myself in front of a multitude of people. Am I being too sensitive, Reddit?",AITA for holding a grudge against/disliking this girl?,NTA
10y5nge,"Me and my partner own 2 cars. We have one very cheap car which I use for work and one more expensive  family car which she uses for work and driving around our 9mo old son. We go halves on both car expenses to avoid one of us bearing the costs of the family car.  We both earn similar amounts of money.Recently the family car has broken down with a serious engine problem and will be too expensive to fix (insurance will not pay out as it is mechanical damage). We have decided to cut our losses and sell the broken family car and buy another car. In my head, we have just unexpectedly lost a lot of money on this car and should be tightening our budget. As such I suggested we look for another modestly priced car if not a slightly cheaper one. Partner thinks we need something more reliable which has less chance of breaking and wants to get a newer family car on finance. To me this logic is completely backwards as we have unexpectedly lost money on a car, so let’s use our savings to spend more money than required to get back on the road, for what? Status? To look better in pictures? Regardless of whether a new car has less chance of breaking down, in the long run it will be certainly more expensive, especially on finance. As such I have refused to split the cost if we finance a newer car and will only be willing to look for a modestly priced used car that we can afford to buy outright and will not drain our savings. Is this unreasonable ?",AITA for refusing to finance a car with partner?,NAH
10y3yz2,"I (21M) live with my parents who are realtors and work very hard, so they have the opportunity to afford a gorgeous beachside house. I do not have the wealth my parents do. I’m working on moving out, but as of right now I live there. My girlfriend (19F) came over to the house for the first time and was amazed by how beautiful the house was and making jokes about how rich my parents are. She was really hamming it up for humour purposes. I started doing the same and jokingly showing off all the things in the house that average houses wouldn’t typically have. I was washing my dishes in the sink even though we have a dishwasher, and my girlfriend asked me why I was using the sink when we have a dishwasher. And to play along with the jokes we were making, I said “to keep in touch with my poor side” and she laughed. Thinking this was funny, I told my best friend (20M) about this joke, but he got really upset and said it was disgusting and incredibly classist. I just don’t understand what was so wrong. I think it’s a harmless joke. Am I the asshole?Edit:When I told him it was just a joke, he responded by saying that I wouldn’t be saying that if it was a sexist joke. In his words: “Well what if I said ‘I got a new dishwasher’ and was talking about a new girlfriend of mine? You wouldn’t like that” and I said that was different because he hasn’t lived as a woman, where I have lived without a dishwasher and without a lot of money. It’s different because Im making the joke about myself, not about someone else. He said it’s the same thing. I really don’t think it is. Also, I was out of the house for a bit doing school for my engineering degree, which I got. I’m back in the house right now because I haven’t been able to find somewhere else to live.",AITA for saying that I wash my dishes by hand to keep in touch with my poor side?,NTA
10y3s6u,"A good friend of mine (call her Katie) that lives all the way across the country but is from Philly messaged me a couple weeks ago wanting to visitIt's not a good time for her to visit. I have a huge exam a few weeks from now. So I told her no. It's last minute. I am overwhelmed by my job. Passing this exam is very important for my ability to keep my job. She pulls at my heartstrings in a few texts.I do feel bad, but also I know this friend is difficult to set boundaries with. Not in the sense that it ends up in an argument but she tends to do this heart pulling string thing a lot to get her way. Not always an issue cuz she literally just wants to hang out with me - how can I get super angry about that?I tell her: hey I wasn't going to do anything but let me see if other friend (call her mary) has plans. Both of these friends are HUGE philly sports fans. I don't have time for either of them this week, but they'll get along and it'll be a good time. I text Mary she is down for it. I tell them both I can't make the time commitment to watch a game for 6 hours, but I'll show up for a few. Mary even suggests that her and Katie go to the BBall game Monday. I give them each other's numbers so they can coordinate the BBall game. Both seem hype for it.Kate tells me she needs a place to crash Sun. I tell her: ""I don't have the capacity to host but I can recommend an AirBnb (sends airbnb not far from where I live)"" Katie doesn't respond for a day. I text her again: ""Hey did you book an airbnb? I can't host you and it looks like that BBall game is later in the day too. You may want to book a airbnb for 2 nights. I can't host you for 2 days""Kadie says: ""HELL NO to Airbnb I've had a terrible experience"" ""I just need to crash Sunday night""Me: ""Okay...trying to help you out. I can't host you though. Can you book a hotel""10 min later: ""Mary says I could crash at her place""I text Mary: ""hey thanks for letting my friend stay with you Sunday night you didn't have to do that. and thanks for suggesting you go to a BBall game together - she will love that. Sorry for the short notice. I suggested she get a hotel. I didn't suggest she crash at your place. I didn't want to impose on you""Mary: ""If she needs a place to stay than she's more than welcome to crash here"" ""it would have been nice to get a heads up. My issue is the difficulty that you have with boundary setting (or any difficulties that come up in your friendship with Katie. That should not fall on me without any consideration for what's currently on my plate as well"" ""I know you have a lot going on and sounds like Katie does too but things have not been easy for me this week either."" \*tells me about 2 unfortunate things going on this week for her\* ""I'm usually down and readily available for anything but I could have used some additional consideration this week""I apologize. She tells me I'm not getting it. I call Katie, give in, and tell her she can crash with me.",AITA for not hosing my friend?,NTA
10y3mkl,"I (17f) stormed out of the dining hall from my friends after talking about how we didn't like when another girl (B) does the same.Context: (B) hates (A), (B) is best friends with (E), (E) and (A) are dating B has hated A for about a year and a half now, A and E have dates for about ¾ of that year. You would think that B has gotten used to seeing the two together, but her reaction has only gotten worse. Everyday until today, every time A comes to greet E at the table we sit at, B dramatically stands up and leaves the room. This has been making me and the rest of our friend group very uncomfortable as we are friends with all stated above and there is a lot of tension whenever we are around B.This week, B has been off sick and I was able to spend time with A without feeling on edge that B was watching and judging me. Today I was sitting with B alone on the table and saw A on another, I got up to sit with them and talk about a trip we had planned. (B is already on another trip at the same time so we didn't leave her out on purpose) Prior to this, B seemed upset and asked me ""Are you serious?"" When I got up to sit with A and she didn't speak to me till later that day.At lunch, as we were sitting down at a table, I see my friend who was sitting at a table with A and talked to her for a second before going to sit with my usual friend group which contains E and B and before I sat down, B turns to me and says in a snarky tone: ""Why don't you sit with A instead?"" I asked: ""Are you being serious right now?"" And she responds in a bratty way: ""Yah."" That filled me with rage and prompted me to leave the hall right then and there. I felt I had the right to be upset about the way she had spoken to me when considering how she had already made me and our friend group uncomfortable waiting for her to 'explode' with all the tension built up from when E began dating A. I've already decided I'm leaving the friend group because of the way she was acting (leaving dramatically everytime she sees E and A) and although I had a problem with her doing that, I did the same thing and left when she rudely spoke to me. So AITA for being dramatic and storming out the hall when B spoke to me that way even though I condemned her for doing the same?(Feel free to ask questions about bits which don't make sense)Edit: formatting",AITA storming off from the table in front of my friends,NTA
10y39ju,"I (22nb) am disabled and don’t work due to my disability. My new flatmate has lived here for a few months now, we get along pretty well and there hasn’t been any arguments before. I recently rescued a cat as an emotional support animal, she’s very timid due to her trauma, but we’re working on it together. Before I rescued her I made sure with my new flatmate that he was ok with this, he said he was fine with it so I went ahead with the adoption. Right now she’s confined to my room while she gets used to her new surroundings, we have let her out to explore the rest of the flat at her own pace but this is where the issue with my flatmate came up. I have another flatmate (P,23nb).The new flatmate has told P that he never wants to see the cat, he doesn’t want to acknowledge or see her existence at all, his words. The new flatmate has purposely told this stuff to P but not to me. The new flatmate has utterly zero responsibilities with the cat, and I assured him beforehand that he would have none, and I have no intention of making him take some up. The new flatmate also brought up the fact that we’re not doing any of the washing up, but we are, admittedly not as much as he does, although his ‘washing up’ consists simply of rinsing it under water, it always needs to be redone and it isn’t sanitary. He claimed that he does everything but this simply isn’t true. He also scrapes food waste into the sink - we do not have a trash disposal, and it continues to clog the sink and rot, which we have to deal with because he doesn’t see it as a problem. Furthermore, he consistently pisses on the toilet seat and doesn’t clean it up, despite us asking him to clean it up multiple times, and one time P trod in some substance that seemed to be semen on the bathroom floor. I myself struggle with household stuff because of my disabilities, some days I simply cannot stand upright, and he knows this. When he told P the stuff about the cat as well as the washing up, P text me what he said. I was obviously really upset as I felt really bad, because now we have a cat in a place that she is not welcome in. I don’t believe anything he says any more, as he admitted that he lied about being okay with a cat - he claimed that he said he was only okay with it because he thought we would get her regardless, which is simply is not the case. When I received this message I got up and started the washing up, even though it was painful. When he got back I confronted him about the cat situation, saying that if he didn’t want us to get a cat, he should have said that. I also yelled that he has no right to be upset with our tidiness when he can’t even clean dishes properly, and I showed him one of the pans he had ‘washed up’, which was still utterly caked in food. Most of this I yelled at him, which I know was wrong and I have since apologised to him for exclusively that, but I stand by what I said.","AITA for having a cat, and subsequently yelling at my flatmate?",NTA
10y99xi,"[AITA For Leaving a Vacation I Planned for my GF After Her Friends Came Along? : AmItheAsshole (reddit.com)](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10w8kxl/aita_for_leaving_a_vacation_i_planned_for_my_gf/) From the bottom of my heart, thank you to everyone who sent me kind words and encouraging private messages.I decided that I wanted to end this entire relationship. I packed my important belongings (Ex. Passport, clothes) and arranged with my best friend to crash at his apartment until I can find my own. Usually when small issues happen in a relationship, it ties into a bigger issue of that relationship. The main reason why I decided to break up is because I realized that her friends will always be closer to her than me. Sarah has favored her friends over me and blown off some of our plans for her friends more than once. I was lying to myself for years because I didn’t want to face reality yet. I had hoped she would change, but this trip really opened my eyes that I will always be in 3rd place to her.I expressed my feelings multiple times, and Sarah promised she would change, and she didn’t.Sarah came home late yesterday. I said I have a lot to get off my chest and I want to get through my notes before she talks or tries to interrupt me. The first question I asked Sarah was “How she thought the trip went”. She said we all had fun and it was memorable. I shouldn’t have to feel like the 3rd wheel in my own relationship, especially on a trip that I planned.My next question was “Why did you invite your friends in the first place? You knew this was an anniversary trip for US”. She talked about the trip with her friends since the beginning, and they never been to CO. She thought it would be a good idea to allow them to come just so they can have fun in CO with us. I followed up with my lack of knowledge of her friends coming along until days before. It’s one thing if they came and did their OWN activities. But it’s another thing that every activity became a group activity. I signed up for a monogamous, not poly relationship.My last question was “Did you know that I was going to propose to you?”. Sarah said she didn’t know at all. The thought never occurred to Sarah that I was going to ask. She claimed that she wouldn’t have invited her friends to come along if she knew, but I responded that “it would ruin the surprise if I told you”.Sarah begged me to stay with her and believes we can work everything out. She didn’t want me to throw 5 years away after this one bad trip. I listened to her promises to change for years regarding her friends, but nothing happened. I ultimately left Sarah with this: it’s clear that there isn’t enough room in your heart for your BF and your friends. As much as I love Sarah, I can’t stay in a relationship where I’m not respected enough. I left Sarah in the house by herself and I drove off to my friend’s place.I’ll figure out how to get my name off the lease and I’ll plan to get the rest of my belongings. As for the ring, I will return it this weekend.",UPDATE: AITA For Leaving a Vacation I Planned for my GF After Her Friends Came Along?,NTA
10yc8sr,"I was lucky enough to get a great job after I graduated.  I make pretty good money and my job is challenging but fun.  Some of my friends didn't bother with college and some who did go chose less lucrative fields.  I'm not rich or anything.  I'm not buying a Porsche any time soon.  I just have a good salary and very few bills since I still live at home.  I got a very nice hiring bonus when I was recruited and I took my friends out for, what I made clear, was a one time celebration.  Every once in a while I get together with my friends and go to a restaurant.  We usually end up splitting the bill.  I don't drink a lot so I might have a beer with my meal but that's it.  I know they don't al have disposable income like I do so I usually also cover the tip. They tend to go overboard.  Like one girl orders five or six drinks over the course of the meal.  And she will order appetizers ""for the table"".  I never eat the appetizers because they are almost always deep fried and I tend to avoid that stuff.  It is also common for one of us to leave and just cash app or leave money for the bill. Last Saturday we went out to a nice Mexican place.  The food was excellent and my margarita was delicious. That girl brought her girlfriend and a couple of the guys brought their girlfriends.  I mentioned that I had to have an early night. After we finished eating I hung around until everyone started ordering more drinks and desserts and stuff.  And I'm not joking here one girl ordered a to go meal for her roommate.  I excused myself and went to the bathroom.  Afterwards I paid my bill at the front of the house and bailed.   I started getting texts about 45 minutes later.  The bill came and they wanted to split it.  I told them I already paid and had to leave. My bill was $55 including tip.  The three guys and the girl were going to be splitting the remaining $640. They wanted to split their guests bill as well.  The other guy who didn't invite someone was saying it wasn't fair for him to split the bill when I didn't.  I said that I had paid my food bill and I wasn't going to give more.  They ended up each paying their own bill and one guy ended up paying for his, his date's, and her roommate's food.  He is especially salty about the situation.  The other single guy also ended up just paying for his own stuff and he is also in their bad books.  I feel bad for leaving without saying goodbye but if I had stuck around I would be subsidizing food for strangers.EditI'm sorry if I offended anyone with the term Irish exit.  I didn't know it was an insult.",AITA for doing an Irish exit at a restaurant so I wasn't stuck with the bill?,NTA
10y95kx,"My (15F) family likes to have a movie night, we basically do that on Fridays when my parents don't have work and my sister (19,F) doesn't have too much work for college. It usually happens like once a month. Mom insists on doing it or just having us all play a game so we can bond and have a good time and it is really fun so no one complains about it.Anyways, I recently noticed that my sister (19,F) starts crying everytime we watch a movie. Like not the sad movies or anything like that, any movie that's for younger kids that we usually put on for my other sister (10, F) just has her face tearful. It's usually  random movies about friendship or simple ideas like that or just Disney movies or Studio Ghibli ones. She doesn't cry at all at anything else. I have no idea why. It's also during random parts of the movie that it makes no sense to cry about (like someone flying, or someone hugging someone, or someone sitting in a garden or something).No one else really notices because it's usually dark and we don't really talk during movies. Plus my sister is very unemotional usually and this is so unexpected that even if I told anyone they wouldn't believe me till they saw it (she also makes no sound anyways). It also only happens that my sister is seated next to me during the movies and my parents and other sister are further away so they wouldn't notice at all. I notice because I usually have to check my phone so her face is a bit clearer for me. This week my mom suggested another movie like that for us to watch next week. And since this time she agreed we'd be doing it with my friend coming over I thought it would ruin the mood for the night if she saw my sister like that and it was just not something I want to deal with. My friend is also nosy and knows my sister very well and I kind of just want us to have fun without my sister in the picture.So here is where I may be TA, I told my mom I'm okay doing it as long as my sister is not there. And if she is there then she has to stop crying over nothing and control her emotions for the night. My mom didn't see where I was coming from and told me if that's the case then they will do it without me. I don't really want that so I told her that my sister is too old for this anyways and we could just not invite her from now on. She looked really upset and told me to go to my room. AITA?",AITA for wanting to exclude my sister?,YTA
10y8sds,"Throwaway AccountI (30f) have a ""Mike"" (4m) who was fathered by my old college boyfriend ""Jason"" (31m) who ghosted me before I was able to tell him that I was pregnant. When I first found out that I was pregnant it was around finals, Jason and I were in grad school, and Jason was so stressed out his exams, work, and family issues that I decided to tell him after his last exam. Also, because I had a bad habit of procrastinating when I get anxious and a part of me was in denial about being pregnant.I admit that during this time I was acting out of the ordinary and being a little secretive. Unfortunately Jason got the wrong idea and (insert a series of curse words) friend ""Amanda"" (30f) convinced him I was cheating so when I came back to our apartment he was gone. He posted an awful message about me on social media and then blocked me, so did most of our mutual friends along with all of his family members. I was devastated and desperate, so desperate that I even swallowed my pride and reached out to Amanda to beg him to talk to me.She then proceeded to taunt me and then sent me a screenshot of Jason's text calling me a liar and pathetic for trying to pass off another man's baby as his. I tried reaching out to Jason once during the later half of my pregnancy and another time after Mike was born before giving up. I tried to go the court's way but Jason got a job overseas so it was what it was.Later I met ""Dan"" (36m) he was great, we fell in love, got married and was willing to adopt Mike. Shortly after I had my second child Jason reached out to me. The very first thing he did was offer a sincere and meaningful apology to me said that he now realized that Amanda lied to him and that the evidence she had against me was false. Jason also said that Amanda was the one who interceded my attempts to reach out to him and knew that I had had his son.I did not hold back my anger and he took it. He gave me a few days to cool down before reaching out to me and asking to meet Mike. After discussing it with Dan, we agreed and Jason was introduced to Mike as ""mommy's friend from college"" since then he's met Mike in person about four times, I've sent him a few pictures, and even let him video chat a few times. Recently Jason reached out to me about wanting to know when we'd tell Mike that he was his ""real"" father and I countered back that Dan was his real dad as he was the one who was helping me raise him, and that he could either be ""Uncle Jason"" or nothing at all.Jason got upset and pointed out how it wasn't his fault that he wasn't apart of Mike's life, that he's trying now, and how his family wants to meet him. I countered that if he hadn't of ghosted me he wouldn't be in this situation right now and in the eyes of the law he doesn't get say. Dan agrees that Mike may be too young right now but feels it's wrong to keep Jason out all together, so AITA?Edit: Because someone asked just to be clear Dan is now the legal father of Mike.I'm not sure about all the legal terms but basically when Dan and I started the adoption process we had our lawyers send out a notice to Jason's last known legal address (which Amanda intercepted) and then after no response we petitioned the court and cited abandonment so that Jason's rights would be terminated since Dan was present and willing to take Mike on.Edit 2: I don't know why people are thinking this but just to be clear Dan and I would never NOT tell Mike about biological parentage I'm just not willing to do it now. I don't want to risk my son becoming emotionally attached to a man with a history of ghosting. Dan has proven to be reliable, Jason has not. I'm planning on telling Mike somewhere between 13-18.  Edit 3: Since someone DM me, while Jason's story of Amanda tricking him is plausible with the details he gave me, I honestly don't believe him since it's too convenient of an excuse and he hasn't shown me any indisputable proof.",AITA For Not Wanting The Biological Father Of My Child To Say Who He Really Is?,NTA
10yaz05,"I \[20F\] am a college student living with four roommates in a shared off campus house.  One of my four roommates is not actually a roommate on our lease, but one of my other roommate's boyfriends.  I am not happy about this, but it is what it is.  We'll call the boyfriend/roommate Kevin \[21M\].I had a paper due at 11:59 one night last week that I was really late on getting started on so to say I was on a time crunch would be an understatement.  Around a little after 7, Kevin comes into my room and asks me if I could drive him to his work that is about 20-25 minutes away because he left his laptop there and he had a quiz that he needed to take that was due that night.  I apologized and told him that I couldn't do it because I had a deadline.  He proceeded to ask me if he could just use my car and I said no.  When he asked why, I told him because the car belongs to my parents and they don't want anyone else driving it but me.  Kevin got very angry and told me that I was being unreasonable because it would only take about 45 minutes and we'd be back home before 8 and that if he took my car, he was just going to go straight there and back.  I said that I was sorry, but I couldn't help him and he sulks out of my room and slammed the door.  I actually started to feel really bad and was going to offer to take a break after I got to a good point in my paper to take him, but then I heard him in the next room complaining to his girlfriend on the phone about me and calling me all kinds of nasty names so I just put my headphones in and concentrated on my paper.About an hour passed by and he comes back into my room and asked me if I could send him money for an Uber to go pick up his laptop.  I said ""No, why would you take money from a \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_?"" and basically repeated all the names he called me.  He then tried to apologize and say that he was just stressed out and he didn't mean it.  I said no again and he lost it.  I packed up my laptop and some clothes and went to my boyfriend's house to stay the night and finish my paper which I finally managed to submit at like 11:45 thankfully.When I came back the next day, my roommate who is Kevin's girlfriend yelled at me for making Kevin miss an assignment when he gave me three options to help him.  We ended up fighting and things have been tense in the house ever since.  One of our other roommates thinks that I didn't do anything wrong, but the other roommate things I should have just helped Kevin to keep the peace in the house.I kind of feel like a AH for making things in the house tense and making Kevin's grade in that class lower.  It would have been less effort to take him than it is to deal with all the fighting and awkwardness.",AITA for making my roommate miss an assignment deadline,NTA
10ybn98,"My fiancé (28M) and I (27F) are currently wedding planning. We have always said we wanted a wedding in October because we are both wh*res for fall. We found a venue and were looking at potential dates (basically choosing which Saturday), they only had openings 3 out of the 4 Saturdays in October. We were between the 2nd and 3rd week, so we asked the venue coordinator what he recommended. He said the “peak” weekend for the flowers (the venue is a garden) would be the 3rd weekend of October, so that’s the one we went with. We let my family know via group chat that we had a date, and we put a payment down that day. My sister in law (44F) says “hey, that’s on my birthday!” And I thought, “oh, that’s funny!” And that was it, or so I thought.The next day, my mom (64F) says she got a call from my brother (43M) that my SIL was upset that we were moving forward with our wedding on her birthday.  She said she was most upset that my fiancé and I would share our anniversary with her birthday in the following years, rather than upset she’d have to spend a birthday at our wedding. She said, “in our family, birthdays are a big deal.”What really pissed me off was that she said “you’re choosing between a human and some leaves” (she’s had 3 weddings - she knows how much of a headache finding a venue is)At this point she is expecting us to change the date to the other available weekend. Typically, I would. However, my SIL has made a pattern out of this. Anytime someone celebrates something, she conveniently becomes ill or something happens where the attention becomes all about her. When I got pregnant, she stopped talking to me for a year because she was struggling with infertility. And I had to be the one to “mend the bridge” (to a fight I never started!). I don’t want to enable this behavior by accommodating what I would say is unreasonable expectations. I don’t want my entire wedding to become accommodating her. And before you ask about my brother, he has codependency issues and will never push back against her, so she essentially runs the relationship and my brother follows. TLDR; will I be the ahole if I don’t change my wedding date from my SIL’s birthday to the week before, even if I was able to?INFO: I did not realize the date we chose was her birthday until when she told us afterwards. It was not intentional to double book.",WIBTA if I don’t change my wedding date after my sister in law asked me to?,NTA
10ychov,"My wife and I went to couple's counseling. When we called to book there was one counselor that had a last minute opening and the rest had long waits. There was a reason for this. If you ever need to book a therapist, don't book the one with immediate availability. Anyway, so we went this morning.First and foremost, the therapist would not listen to us as we tried to explain why we were there. So much time was wasted because she kept insisting on talking about and asking about topics that weren't what we needed to talk about. My wife and I both repeatedly tried to explain the issue, and the therapist kept saying ""the surface issue is rarely the problem; it's the issue underneath that."" It took half an hour for us to get her to actually address what occurred.When she finally listened to us explain what happened she said flat out that I was wrong, my wife was right, I need to apologize for what I said and accept that her dad would always be important to her and had a right to be in his grandchild's life. I'm pretty sure therapists are supposed to be a bit more neutral. Anyway, she could tell I was irritated and asked what I was feeling. I said I felt deceived. I felt like my wife pretended to be someone and now I'm meeting the real her.My wife started to cry and the therapist said my answer was unproductive. I asked my wife ""what about you? How do you feel?"" She said she felt lost. She said she's lost her family one by one because they did things she couldn't accept. Realizing the child she was carrying would never know her biological family upset her, and it made her wonder if her standards are too high.The therapist jumped in and said it's important to meet people where they are out and cutting people out isn't the answer. The therapist ended things saying we had a lot of work to do but could fix things. When we left my wife said ""she was very opinionated for a therapist."" I agreed. She asked if we could go get brunch and just talk, and I agreed to that to.We talked. I apologized for the way I spoke to her. She apologized for keeping secrets from me. I told her I would never be okay with her dad being part of our kids lives. She said she understood. I also said I thought it was a bad idea to go back to the old company, but ultimately that's her choice. She said she was going to tell her dad that meeting the baby isn't on the table and then see his reaction and go from there. I thanked her for telling me.She asked me if I was thinking about leaving her. I was honest and said I had thought about it but that wasn't what I wanted. We both got very emotional. She asked if I loved her and I said yes. I asked if she loved my son, and she said yes. I asked if she thinks she'll love the baby more, and she said no. She hesitated, but I'm trying not to read into that.I feel we made some progress and we will continue to work on our relationship (without the terrible therapist) and try to be our best for each other and the children.",Update: Couple's counseling didn't help; an honest discussion did.,NAH
10yf54k,"I am not a chef. I am a pretty good amateur cook though. I own my own restaurant and have been on a couple of TV shows as a guest or contestant. My father in law is a welder and he has bugged me a few  times about doing women's work.  I just laugh it off but it does bug me. I have told my wife but she tells me that he is just old school and not to be confrontational about it. My wife's family had a big reunion last summer and I brought bratwursts and onions. Good cheap food for lots of people. This last weekend my parents came to visit and we invited the in laws since it has been a while since we all got together. I made Beef Wellinton, bacon roasted Brussel sprouts, roasted root vegetable medley, mushroom risotto, potatoes us gratin, and asparagus. My FIL started asking why I never cooked like this when they came by to see us. I always ordered in food or my wife made good hearty home cooked meals.I said that I did not want to appear feminine in front of him since he thought it was women's work.  He said that isn't what he meant and that if I knew how to cook like this I was belittling him by only cooking like this for my family.After they left my wife said that I should either have cooked a less fancy meal or ordered out instead of making her dad feel like he wasn't worth my effort. ​AITA?","AITA for not making ""good food"" for my in-laws since my father in law thinks it is women's work.",NTA
10yh4bp,"So my friend of about 20 years is mad at me calling me cruel and an asshole. She got upset after I fake kidnapped her 2 young kids. Now I know it sounds harsh so far but the reason I did it was to finally get though her head the dangers of leaving her kids home alone when she goes out. On top of the dangers she just recently split up with her husband and they are currently going through a custody battle. The kids live with her but the dad is fighting to get them to live with him a city over. She knows any ammunition this man can get will be used against her in court and I have told her a million times that if he finds out she leaves the kids at home to run 5-10 minute errands she absolutely will loose come court time. The kids are 5 and 8 years old. Sure they are quite capable for 10 minutes but I told her that is not the point. Countless times I would come over, the door was unlocked so I walk right in and her kids are home alone. She shows up 5 minutes later stating it was easier to run for milk without the kids or whatever she is doing at the time. I tell her for gods sake at least lock the door so a stranger can’t walk in and I honestly worry what would happen if a fire started. This leads to today. I was on my way over and I see her drive past me. She didn’t see me or know I was on the way so I get this great idea to teach her a lesson. I go to her house and tell the kids to get into my car we are going to go for a little drive (they drive with me often so going for a drive is nothing new). We get into the car and go park just down the street where I could see her get back. Sure enough 5 minutes later she is back at the house and sees the door is open. I wait a minute and see her run outside then head towards the back yard then run back inside again clearly in a panic. So I drive back up to the house and run inside to find her crying uncontrollably and shaking in a panic. I was kind of smiling like hey it’s okay your kids are with me but she could not stop crying. Finally after about half hour she calms down enough to question why I did this and after explaining asks me to leave so I did. She texted me after saying how cruel that was and that I was an asshole and now isn’t replying to texts. So reddit am I an asshole?",AITA for Fake kidnapping my friends kids?,YTA
10y8uek," Obligatory: throwaway account,So, I'm 22 now. 8 years ago, I came out to my parents as Bi. Should be no big deal right? Wrong. My deeply religious parents sent me to a Christian wilderness camp, where they said I would stay for 6 months. I ended up staying for a year and a half. I was understandably mad when they took me home, but still refused to recant my coming out.I left the moment I turned 18, but made an effort to reach out to them and invite them to my wedding to my beautiful wife 2 years ago. My mother pretty much spit in my face and told me that I was a disgrace and that she would never see me as her daughter again, that I shouldn't ever talk to her again. I took the hint, and got on with my life. We foster now, and are currently fostering 3 teenagers that we think are just the best.2 weeks ago, my mother messaged me on Instagram. I was surprised since I have her main account blocked, but she proceeded to tell me that she needs 4,000$ and a kidney. Not even a hello. I told her that ""I was no longer her daughter"" and that I wouldn't do it, and blocked her.Not even a day later I received a message from my 20yo sister (Faith), she told me that I should reconsider helping our mother, and I turned it down again, asking why she didn't help mom instead. Apparently, Faith wasn't a match, and they didn't have the 4000$ after starting a church with her husband. I just continued to turn it down. She put me through a year and a half of Hell in a program, and then proceeded to cut me off. Now that she needs money and a kidney I'm supposed to put that all behind me and help her?Both my dad, Faith, and Faiths husband have told me that I'm a terrible human being for not helping her out, and that I should be ashamed of myself. AITA?",AITA for not helping my mother,NTA
10yexyx,"My daughter ""Tina"" (13F) has dealt with this same bully ""Megan"" for 2 years. The school has done what they can to help. They're no longer in any of the same classes, their lockers aren't near each other. Megan was suspended last year for a particularly harsh incident and that's what finally got the school to take her seriously. Unfortunately, this is the only junior high in the area and homeschooling isn't an option. Thankfully, the girls are going to different high schools. The bullying has also decreased immensely since the school started taking measures to keep them apart. Megan has always made fun of Tina's weight. Tina isn't overweight by any means, but she is curvier. She is quite happy with her body, until Megan or one of Megan's friends make comments about it. Again, this has decreased over the past year. However, on Monday, the girls were waiting outside for the bus at the same time. Megan made some nasty comments about Tina's body. Tina came home very upset. One thing that I have always said to my husband is that Megan likely makes fun of Tina because she is insecure about herself. While Megan is thin, she is not conventionally pretty. I'm not saying she's ugly, we all have things about ourselves that we may not like or are insecure about. I also would never say this to Megan, as obviously that's mean and it'd be stooping to her level.However, seeing Tina so upset, I told her that. It did seem to help her feel better. I thought it was fine. However, my older daughter ""Alexa"" (20F) overheard. She told me I was being just as nasty as Megan and I shouldn't put stuff like that in Tina's head. I pointed out that Tina would never say that to someone, but Alexa said I had no way of knowing that. AITA?",AITA for saying my child's bully didn't have any right making fun of someone's looks?,NTA
10yd2s5,"Hi everybody! Throwaway account!I (49M) have a son, Chris, who is eleven, and refuses to grow up it seems. He's entering middle school next year and it's starting to worry me that he has not figured out that Santa, the Easter bunny, elf on the shelf, etc. aren't real. My wife, Jenna 47F, assures me that it's not a big deal, since his sister Maggie (9F) hasn't caught on yet either.For those who don't know, the Elf on the Shelf is essentially this tradition where an elf doll comes to watch the kids during Christmastime, and at night flies to the North Pole to report their behavior to Santa, and goes on Christmas Eve. We've been doing this since the kids were little, and I have always found it bizarre but Jenna thinks it's fun.About 3 years ago, Jenna found that there's a part of the Elf on the Shelf tradition where the elf can come visit for birthdays, according to their website. She bought a tiny party hat for the elf, and he has come to visit the kids on their birthdays for about since then, and brings a present with him.A week ago, Chris told us he wanted a very specific toy of the solar system and gave us the name of it. I googled the toy and couldn't find it on Amazon, eBay, Marketplace, or anywhere else. I did more research and it seems like the toy has not been manufactured since the late 90s or so, so I knew there was no chance he was getting it.That night at dinner, Chris told us how confident he was that the Elf would bring him this planet model. Jenna tried to warn him that the Elf might have trouble getting it, to which my daughter said that Santa can get people whatever they want. I gave my wife a glance, but she shook her head.A few days before today, I ordered some glow-in-the-dark planets that hang from the ceiling off of Amazon.Today, when he woke up, the Elf was not there but Jenna assured him he would be there when he got home. While he was at school, Jenna wrapped his gifts including the planets, and put out the Elf with its party hat.Fast forward to his birthday celebration with our family at night, it's time to open presents and Chris grabs the present next to the Elf, and opens it with excitement but to his horror he hasn't gotten the gift he wanted. He looks upset.Jenna tells him that like she said, sometimes the Elf can't always get everyone what they want. He starts saying that he wanted the planet model he saw online and whining. I pull him aside into the other room, away from his sister, and quietly say to him that the Elf isn't real, nor Santa, Easter Bunny, etc., and that I tried looking for the toy online, and because of when it was last made it was probably impossible to find. He ran upstairs in tears.Now Jenna is pissed at me, saying I've ruined the holidays plus his birthday for him. I honestly feel kinda bad but I also don't want my kid going to middle school believing in Santa.Reddit, AITA?","AITA for telling my son the Elf on the Shelf, Santa, Easter Bunny, etc., aren't real?",YTA
10yidw3,"My 11yo son goes to a skate park after school with his friends who include his cousin/my nephew Jack who is also 11. I went to pick up both boys when I saw a crowd of kids by the fence. I went over and asked what was so interesting and they pointed to a snake.Not just a snake, but a rattlesnake. They had never seen one before (maybe outside a zoo) and I assume they were trying to get it to strike because they didn't think they'd get bit.I told them all to get away from it and they did except Jack who actually got closer with his phone. I think he wanted to get a closeup video of the snake striking. I yelled at him to get away and he told me to hold on. I took him by his arm and pulled him away. He gave me this angry stare. I told him what the fuck? That snake could kill you. He gave me the silent treatment until his mom picked him up.Then 20 minutes she called me up in a rage about how I grabbed him and did this and did that and hurt him etc and I'm not his dad.I asked her if her sweet angel told her about the rattlesnake that he was provoking. She said what snake. I hung up.She called up again and said that I still owed her and Jack an apology for handling him. I told her to STFU and check his phone and see if I did any of that stuff as his camera was recording everything.An hour later,  my brother called me up and said what Jack did was stupid and he was happy I was there but I still owed his wife an apology for telling her to STFU. I said I'm not apologizing for nothing. At least until she apologizes to me for coming at me sideways twice. To be honest I don't even care because I don't like her anyways.He apologized and I said not acceptable. She needs to apologize.",AITA for telling my brother that I want an apology from his wife and not him?,NTA
10yd4gc,"Sorry for making the title so long. I just don't know how better to put it.Throwaway btw.Hi, I'm 14, I have 1 brother who's 15 and my sister who's 12. My dad died in 2020.In December, my mom suprised us my brother and sister with brand new phones, and me with a gaming laptop. I was so freaking happy that I was counting the days down until it was time to pick it up. (My mom was giving the gifts to us early)So, at the start of 2022, my mom introduced her boyfriend. As long as my mom was happy, I didn't care. The big ""event"" came on the night of Christmas. Basically, my brother accidentally woke up my mom. She was pisssed off, took our phones, and left. Then my mom's boyfriend came in, demanding our laptops and stuff (my brother had a chromebook) and it was scary. We both didn't realize he was slamming each laptop he got down as hard as possible until he left the room. I was extremely upset and just held my laptop for a little bit until my mom came in asking what happened with the single question after that ""Did you guys give him your laptops?"" I said yes That we did and she left the room. We heard them fighting and soon he left. Me and my brother we're so scared that we hid in the storage room. The laptop was done for. He slammed it so hard the battery fell out. We didn't get to see my brothers chromebook as my mom picked it up as she left. Eventually my sister came out from her room and talked with me. Then, my mom came out for the first time since it happened and said that HE WAS COMING BACK!?!? Honestly, I just asked her a single question. Why? She didn't answer and closed the door. When it was morning, we all sit down for a ""family meeting"". My mom's boyfriend just looked away the entire time while we talked and only talked when talked to. Basically, he blamed the whole thing on us! He didn't like how our rooms weren't perfectly clean. The part that made me angry the most? He said how he didn't like it that when he came back during the night he smashed the laptops, he didn't like how it wasn't. Clean. Honestly, what the fuck!? What the hell was he thinking?!? Ah yes, smashing laptops with get the room into perfect condition. While he did promise to replace the laptops, that doesn't fix anything. This should NOT BE SWEPT UNDER THE RUG. So, as a reminder that this happened, my brother and I took pictures of my laptop for a ""just in case"" sorta thing, and I taped the battery up on my wall. Soon, my mom asked me why it was there. I said it was a reminder of what happened on Christmas night. She got angry and said I should remove it. I stood my ground and said no. Like I said before, this is NOT something that should be ignored. Since then, they've been making comments about how it doesn't look good and should be taken down, and it's starting to wear me down. So reddit, AITA?",AITA for taping my laptop battery to the wall when my mom's boyfriend broke it?,NTA
10ydlma,"Background story, I am engaged and I wanted to elope. Big weddings are expensive and anxiety inducing. We don’t have much money saved. I would rather got our shit together first. I told him this. His family is rich and his mom has been pressuring us to get married. She told him I didn’t love him because I didn’t set a date. She offered to pay for our wedding, she’d do whatever we wanted. She’d repeat this to everyone. I caved.Fast forward, we look for venues. I ask about the budget. They decline. We wasted 2-3 of vacation to figure out venues were too expensive. We find a venue, now onto photographer. FM (fiancés mom) immediately told us her pick. A photographer that used being French as his personality. I picked an indie photographer from the list the planner sent. Indie photographer wasn’t available so I went with FM choice. We did the shoot, French photographer was horrible. Got weird angles, lots of feet pics. FM fires him and suddenly indie is available. Had a session with indie, was asked how we found them. “I actually wanted to choose you first but you were unavailable. It’s great you freed up!”. Indie responds “huh, really…”, confused. Later, FM fires planner. I think they lied to me.Another situation happens, rehearsal dinner. They want to do a pizza place. As long as we could bring our own ethnic food it didn’t matter. Last min FM says she is signing contract. I be sure to ask again about outside food. She says they don’t allow outside food after asking before. FM argues that they are paying a lot for the wedding and they won’t change the place. I propose separate welcome dinners. I’ve stated multiple times that food is culturally important for my side. I told her I’m paying for my own welcome dinner. She states if there are 2, there will be no wedding. I tell her no wedding then. She comes back, saying we can have separate dinners but her son must be with his family. I agree.Now it’s wedding invitations. I tried to stick with a cheap design. I told fiancé prior it would be nice if my name came before his, every wedding I’ve been to has been that way. His parents end up picking the expensive upgrades. At the end my fiancé speaks up for me and suggests if we can put my name before his (his parents are on the top as hosts). FM yells over the phone “NO! We are keeping it the way it is absolutely not”. I get overwhelmed and run to the bathroom to cry. It ends with her telling him to do whatever and hangs up. In the bathroom I think about how I was pressured and rushed. Every time I had an opinion it’s a problem. This is not my wedding. Later I text FM that I want to make two separate invitations. She can make her own for their side. She called her son to give another ultimatum. If we have 2 invites, the wedding is off. I tell his mom the wedding is off. Things have been rocky, I tell him we can still get married, it’s not like I didn’t want to. If I let her control this what else would she down the road? AITA?",AITA called off wedding,NTA
10yi0qp,"Long story short, my husband Sean (39M) and I (37M) are very close to our nieces and nephews.A year ago our niece Cassie (23F) on Sean's side got engaged while attending university across the country, we were overjoyed to learn of this and were looking forward to meeting the young man she'd met but that was going to have to wait until the wedding as myself and Sean run a business together and although we do travel quite a lot for it, Perth isn't one of the places where we trade so we haven't seen her in person for quite some time but have stayed in touch.About 6 months ago we received the wedding invitation and it requested RSVP asap, Cassie used to practically live with us before she moved so we're very close and we confirmed that we were coming.The accommodation was apparently going to be getting paid for by the groom's parents and being that we're in a pretty good position financially my husband offered to pay for our own room while we were there but they insisted on paying for the room.A week ago we got a strange email from Cassie asking us if it would be okay if we stayed in separate rooms while we were staying there, she did a lot of apologising for the inconvenience and it was quite nervous in tone, Sean was annoyed by the request and being that we had a lot on our plate with the business he closed the email after reading it out to me, later on that evening we got another email from Cassie asking if we'd had time to read her message just before she began calling on our home phone.Sean put the call on speaker phone and Cassie explained to us that her fiancé and his parents are catholic, that they don't recognise gay relationships or marriages and were not prepared to pay for a room to contain 2 men as they felt that that would be encouraging something that they don't agree with. Sean, was annoyed but he held his temper and told her that it was fine, we'd just pay for our own room as we'd offered to originally but Cassie insisted that we not do that, that we just stay in separate rooms to avoid any dramas for her and then she went on to tell us that we'd been seated at opposite tables for the reception and that her fiancé had requested that we not be in any photos standing together and avoid mentioning our relationship to any of his family.Sean lost his temper at this point and told Cassie that we would not be attending the wedding if that was the case and hung up on her and we've been bombarded with messages and calls from Sean's brothers and sisters telling us that Cassie is devastated and heartbroken and that if we were not to attend, it would ruin the event for her, that we're being overdramatic and that it's just a couple of days of pretending not to be in a relationship for the sake of Cassie's future marriage and it's starting to make me feel like we should just reconsider and go despite how insulting this whole thing feels.WIBTA if we stand strong on our decision not to attend?",WIBTA for not attending a wedding after RSVPing after being offended by requests to be separated from my husband for the duration of the event?,NTA
10yfsjo,"Background...Me and my wife live in central Jersey. She was a NYC resident for years before we met. Her Dr was from NYU and she was adamant about wanting to have the baby delivered with a Dr she was familiar with. We're all good with that. This was never an issue even though the ride is 2 or so hours. A couple days before my wife went into labor I had a motorcycle accident and broke my collar bone. I was scheduled for an operation on  a monday morning 1st thing. Sunday evening about 2am my wife wakes me up to tell me her water broke. She also tells me ""Don't worry about it i know you have your operation this morning, I'll just take a cab."" To which I replied ""thats ridiculous, of course I'll take you.   I immediatly gather everything together to drive her to NYU. Everything goes relatively smooth other than 30hrs of labor, our baby came out healthy and i was there to see the birth of my newborn. However, I was unable to cancel my appointment because i didn't want to leave my wifes side. After a bit of time i got through to my Dr who said it is imperative that we have the operation before the bone heals while it is splintered... if we don't they will have to re-break it to set it and it may never heal right. They told me they can get me in right away if i head back home to central NJ. I told her what they said and i asked if it was ok with her. to which she replied excitedly ""of course! you should go!"" by the time I had the operation and got back to the hospital another day or so later her entire family was there and the tension in the air was so think you could cut it with a knife. when I finally got to talk to my wife she said she hated that i left her there all alone to which things got heated and the last thing she said to me before i decided to drop it is""i hate you for leaving me alone like this at a time that i needed you here and i will probably hate you for the rest of my life for it"" I couldn't even make the argument that ""you told me I should go"" This is a 10 year old argument and we NEVER bring it up cause its such a hot button issue, but it has always been in the back of my head wether i was right to go. Her family says i should have stayed and my friends say i did the right thing so i need an unbiased opinion so i can put this to rest for my own sanity.",AITA For leaving my wife at the hospital with our newborn to go have an operation,NTA
10ygmg7,"Hi everyone. Throwaway account.I, 19F, am in college for my freshman year. My roommate is Megan, 20F, and she and I have gotten along somewhat well for the most part. Our suitemates, Adina and Cassidy, whom we share a bathroom with, are next door.I recently (over the past two weeks) started learning how to play trumpet and have been taking private lessons. Megan is usually out of the room when I have them, but sometimes, she is at the dorm. Megan says she doesn’t mind me playing the trumpet because she can put her earbuds in.This afternoon at around three, I was practicing after my Zoom lesson had ended (Megan was not in the room). I got a text from Adina, asking if I would mind not practicing right now. I told her no, it wasn’t quiet hours in the building until ten. She said she could hear it through the wall and she was taking a test. I told her that the building is where a lot of people live, and she could go to the lobby or to another building if she didn’t want to hear me playing the trumpet.She came to our door in person and asked me to stop again. I told her politely again that this was my room and I had the right to do what I wanted as long as it wasn’t quiet hours. We got into a huge argument, she left and went somewhere else to study, and I continued to practice.I told Megan and she said she’s kinda pissed at me since now the four of us probably won’t hang out together now, and we’ve been getting along really well. Now I feel like maybe I messed up, but then again I feel like I was following the building rules, so Reddit, AITA?",AITA for playing the trumpet?,YTA
10y8lk5,"So, I’m in college. One of my courses is an online class (the subject doesn’t really matter) so there’s a group chat with most of my other classmates which we use to help each other out, answer questions and so on. I’m fairly familiar with this subject so some topics I can understand and explain to classmates who don’t. There’s one classmate in particular who asks me for help more than anyone else (to the point where they private message me). Now, I understand being scared to ask a “dumb” question, not sure how to word a question or ask for help, but it’s gotten really out of hand and I want to know if i’m being rude. At first, they would ask me to explain certain topics, which I did. Then, it quickly turned into them taking a picture of a question and asking for the answer(s). Of course I didnt wanna be that person; I know college is hard and we’re all trying to get by but I knew that if I kept giving them the answers then they would have no motivation to learn the topics on their own. What really pissed me off was the week of the test. Now, the online course gives us a 3-day window to take the in-person, proctored test. I took it on day 1, others took it on day 2 or 3. Taking it on day 1 just meant that I could tell others what to focus on, what to expect, and release the stress they may have (not give them the answers). This classmate took it on day 3. Now, It’s important to know that they don’t even use the group chat where everyone answers each other’s questions. I can’t remember the last time they spoke in it, so when I say they only ask me for help, I mean it. So on the day of their test, they’re texting me saying they’re gonna fail and that they might need my help. Of course I reassured them, but let them know the test is proctored so they won’t have their phone and I won’t be able to help them. Even if they did let us have our phones I still wouldnt have helped them. During their test, I unexpectedly get a text from them FROM THEIR APPLE WATCH (another reason why I despise apple watch users). Of course it’s a picture of a test question (a pretty easy one) that happened to be the exact same question our professor went over in the test review on Zoom (which they said they attended). I completely ignored them because I reached a boiling point. No way should they think I’ll supply them with answers while they dont do the work on their own. I’ve taken time out of my day to give them 90% of the answers to an online homework assignment (it had 40 or more questions). By the week of the test, I thought they would’ve known the material by now. We’re all learning the same thing and I shouldnt be burdened with learning it myself while someone nags me for the answers I’ve found, especially not on a test.Am I the asshole?",AITA for ignoring a classmate who constantly asks me for help?,NTA
10yhcr6,"I 42f got married four days ago. I’m sadly writing this during my honeymoon. I have been with my husband45 for 4 years. My husband has a daughter Shianna19.I had asked Shianna to be one of my bridesmaids. Her mom passed away when she was young, and I have always tried to have a connection with her, but she was always very against me. She’s tried pinning us against each other for as long as I can remember or she just not friendly to me. I’ve tried engaging with her in things I know she liked. I tried helping her with college tours. She actually spent 3 days at her grandmothers when she found out her father proposed to me. Nothing seemed to work till I asked her to be my bridesmaid. She was very excited which I was shocked by, but took this as my opportunity to bond.I chose a light blue for my bridesmaid dresses but let them pick the dress, and my husband bought Shiannas since she’s in college and only works part time and was worried she wouldn’t be able to afford an elegant enough dress for our wedding. My husband was very excited about his daughter being in the wedding as well.Day of the wedding, I have 2 other bridesmaids, my sister, and my best friend. I’m getting my makeup done, and they come up to me and whisper that I have to see what shiannas wearing and to stay calm and not ruin my day. So I marched down to the room Shianna was in to see. She did not have the dress we bought her one, in fact she had a white long fluffy dress on, very similar to a wedding dress.I asked her what she was wearing and she just said “I liked this one better, light blue is ugly.” I was so mad, I told her she didn’t match with the wedding party, and she needed to change if she wanted to be in the wedding. She just shook her head and said “you can’t kick me out, my dads here.” I said “you can stay all you want, but you won’t be in the wedding party.” We argued for a few minutes before I finally told her to go find a seat then because I didn’t want her being one of my bridesmaids no more.She got angry and instead left. After my husband noticed Shianna wasn’t in the wedding he began acting weird. He was very cold and off the rest of the day, even after I explained what happened. We’re at this beautiful honeymoon resort in Florida and he slept most the plane ride, then when we got here we got into a big argument about Shianna being kicked out. He didn’t see the white dress and the direct defiance as big of an issue as I did. She had texted him this BS excuse about how she didn’t think it’d be an issue and thought it’d be okay. She even pointed out that I was probably worried she’d look better then me and oh how she didn’t wanna ruin my special day.  We’re not arguing anymore but he’s still a little distant and we’ve only even went out a few times because of it.  I feel like maybe I should’ve just ignored the dress because now it’s ruining my honeymoon.The dress was similar to this: https://www.google.com/aclk?sa=l&ai=DChcSEwj6tc3Snor9AhWh4IYKHZ7iCqkYABBDGgJ2dQ&ae=2&sig=AOD64_2DfKDv2B9JBGFPFxoJ7ZgLJVhZlw&adurl&ctype=5&ved=0CAQQ0LYHKCFqGAoTCPDToteeiv0CFQAAAAAdAAAAABC7Aw",AITA for kicking stepdaughter out of my wedding,NTA
10yaf9r,"My sister and her husband have been together since they were around 18. They’re now 23 and got married last year.My BIL who I’m going to call Luke is a really good guy. But he doesn’t really get some things, mainly social cues.My dad and him... their relationship is a little complicated. My dad doesn’t hate him but it took a while to warm up to him. Even now, he’s just civil.Luke really wants to get on my dad’s good side. He does a lot to get his approval. Basically while my dad technically “approved”, he only approved because of my sister. Luke wants our dad to really accept him.It’s a little sad. My dad doesn’t think Luke is man enough and he even finds him annoying. My sister just told us the other day that she’s pregnant. Everyone was happy... except my dad. He said his congrats but was extremely upset. Luke tried conversing with him the whole night. My dad gave him one word answers or just tuned him out. Obviously, Luke didn’t understand.  My sister and my mom were in the basement looking at baby stuff my mom had stored so they weren’t present. I was though and I tried distracting Luke but he didn’t get it and right after he’d help me with something he’d go straight back to my dad.Eventually my dad just had it and was like “do you ever just the shut the hell up?” Luke was surprised but stayed quiet after that. He looked really sad and just sat there till my sister came back and they left. It’s genuinely the saddest thing I’ve ever seen. Luke is literally a great guy. He’s smart and has a good job, comes from a really nice family, is very kind, plays hockey (dad’s favourite), and I mean my dad wouldn’t care but he’s good looking too. So what if he’s a little awkward at times? So what if sometimes my sister has to “take charge”?My dad was going to bed after they left and he looked like he was on the verge of tears. I was in shock. I asked him if he was seriously this upset about his daughter having a baby with Luke. It’s not like he didn’t see this coming.My dad told me to leave it and mind my own business but I called him a cold hearted man and said that I’m embarrassed to be his child if this is how he’s going to act. This struck a nerve and he said that he isn’t cold hearted, he’s just being a dad and as a dad, he doesn’t like Luke. He’s just worried about her and the future baby. He said that if I’m embarrassed about that then I’ll make a terrible parent in the future. He’s acting all awkward around me now and my mom’s begging me to just say sorry and said that I won’t understand. AITA?",AITA for calling my dad cold hearted and embarrassing?,NTA
10yadx1,"My in-laws, especially my mother-in-law, have a habit of calling my husband at all hours and asking him to do things for them. My father-in-law called him but because he was sleeping I answered the phone. He asked me to wake him up because he needed his help but I refused to as it was late and he was tired.I told him I would ask my husband to call him in the morning but my father-in-law said it was important and I could hear my mother-in-law telling him to say it was an emergency in the background. I asked what he needed and offered to help but he didn’t want to tell me and kept insisting I wake my husband.After about 5 minutes of him trying to make me wake my husband up, I finally gave up and hung up. They repeatedly called me and my husband and sent me texts telling me to give the phone to my husband and to stop ignoring them. The next morning, I explained what happened to my husband. When he came home from their house, he told me his parents were upset with me. He wasn’t, though.AITA?",AITA for not waking my husband up so my father-in-law could speak to him?,NTA
10yay0i,"Around early October I ordered a bunch of clothing including a winter jacket that cost me around 500 cad Around 2-3 weeks later I checked the tracking number and the website said it was ready to be picked up as of a few days prior. Confused as usually the place where the package gets delivered to would call if there was a package waiting to be picked up.Said package was a lot smaller than anticipated (since the winter coat I ordered was like a maxi coat)had my name and address on it, but the wrong phone number. Which would explain why I didn't get the call.So i brought it home n opened it up and voila, there was a couple sweaters that I didn't order and someone else's receipt inside.So of course I contacted customer support n asked what's gonna happen with my actual order. (Lo and behold I couldn't get any replacements so I just ended up getting a refund)Then I asked what to do with the package I received.They told me to bring it back to the place where I picked it up (not the post office btw, I cant recall what the name is so ill just call that buisness PO) and tell them it was the wrong package and they (PO) would send it back to the supplier.So I taped it back up w the other person's receipt in there and made my way back to the PO.The PO didn't want it back because they didn't want to foot the cost to send it back (ah I forgot to mention that this package came from a different country)I didnt either so I took it back home and emailed the customer support to ask for them to provide a return label for the package.CS said they couldn't because it was an international package. I told them without it or reimbursement I won't send it back until one of those happened.So I just tossed it in the top of my closet n forgot about it till I seen a different reddit post that reminded me of this lol.So aita for just not returning the package?",AITA For not returning a package?,NTA
10yh28h,"There is a woman I'm relatively friendly with at work - we're both ladies in our mid-20s, the rest of the team is in their late 40s/50s so we naturally have more to talk about, apart from work we don't really hang out though.Anyway, for staffing shortage reasons I was moved to another branch a few months ago, we still occasionally saw each other and chatted at team meetings or events but otherwise she's just ""person I know from work"". This is where the story starts - suddenly, for the first time in six months, she sends me a text asking if I would like to buy some of her friend's perfumes ""inspired by YSL and Dior for 30€"". I said no (I'm not really into cosmetics), and thought that was the end of it. A week after that, she was literally waiting for me outside the building, with her case of testers, and insisted we sit down at a nearby bar so I could smell a few of them.By this point I kind of suspected she was in an MLM, and since there were a lot of people from work around I didn't want to make a scene + thought it would be a good idea to ask some more questions to figure out if it really was. From her answers about ""nah, just a profitable side business for my friend, once she hits it big she will go full-time though"" and remarks like ""she also sells makeup, skincare and essential oils, tell all your friends"" I was fairly certain it was an MLM. I then told her, very clearly, that I didn't have money to spend on a ton of perfume nor did I really use perfume (she was pushing me to buy them for friends), but that if she was still in contact with her friend at Christmas, I'd **maybe** buy a bottle (an offer made in good faith, since objectively the perfumes smelled pretty nice, the packaging was good-quality and there's a price cap on office Secret Santa anyway so it was a good back-up plan if I couldn't come up with anything else).Cut to today, two weeks later, and she texts me again saying ""okay, I ordered the one you liked from my friend, she says because it's a 'luxe' brand it's 56€, but the OG sells for Sephora on 350€!"" I checked, even the biggest bottle does not, she never mentioned different pricing and **I did not ask her to buy it**. I responded as much, and she called me yelling about how she already advanced the money and how she'd turn our clients (edited to clarify: the clients of our firm) against me.I don't think I did anything wrong (other than complimenting her wares?), but I still feel bad if she already sent the money to her friend and/or is being exploited herself, so AITA here?",AITA if I refuse to pay for a perfume a colleague got for me?,NTA
10yfivt,"Ok my son is almost 19 and this is his first girlfriend. They've been dating for like 8 months now. She quit school as a Junior in HS. Her parents are not very supportive, but my wife and I try to supplement what they lack. And my son does too. He tries to be her emotional support anchor. My son is actually very down to earth, a little quiet, good looking kid, and he's got a lot going for him. GF though doesn't feel very motivated to do much of anything, but stands in the way of his priorities and even tries to get him to skip school on occasion. Luckily he doesn't (that I know of). I might be a bit biased, but he's a really good kid. A LOT better than I ever was. She has (her words) emotional breakdowns that stem from either her part time job, or her family. (Her family has clinical mental issue as well).I recognize that he loves her. I don't stand in their way. But at the same time, I know someone in this relationship is going to get hurt. My wife (his mother) doesn't like the emotional manipulation she notices GF using to have my son break house rules. Curfew, homework, and other responsibilities. I want to stand up and be like son, other fish in the sea, you're young, open your eyes, but I also feel like he's got to learn the hard way. I'm just not sure I'll be around to help pick up the pieces.",AITA who doesn't want my son to date an emotional dumpster fire?,NTA
10yg6o0,"I am a 20F and I have been at my current job for almost a year. For some context, it is a well known country club in the states and I also go to school full time. When originally hired, I worked at the pool serving and bartending. I received no training on the bar and was not immediately required to get my RAMP certification. Once the pool closed I moved to working indoors as a banquet server and bartender. I was immediately required to get my RAMP certification (obv I was fine with this and it was free). The club ended up hiring a new manager (50-60M). He is qualified for the job he has as he has plenty of prior experience in hospitality, however, he has never worked in a country club setting. It is VERY different than working in a hotel. Fast forward a few months, new manager has become very rude, drinking on the job, yelling at members and guests - including a bride and groom and their wedding coordinator. (He didn’t like that they made guests stand outside while the newlyweds had their final dance). We are super short staffed as it is but the final straw for me was when he told me not to listen to another manager (50F) because “she is not your boss, I am and it is my party” yet they literally have the same title and are paid the same. I spoke with him privately about how I felt very confused by his comment towards my other manager. He then told me “you need to be smarter in life, when you have worked in this industry as long as I have, you will understand” this obviously pissed me off because 1-I have been working in the industry since I was 14 aka 6/7 years; 2- I graduated high school a year early, I have my associates degree, and I am studying pre-law as a major with a minor in international studies and will have my bachelors before I am 22. I am smart. I was so offended by his comment about me being smart and the other situations that I found another job and gave them my 2 weeks notice. AITA for quitting my job knowing they’re already short staffed? *I am on prescribed anxiety meds so maybe I am just overthinking*",AITA for quitting my job leaving them short staffed?,NTA
10y8w0g,"Context: My boyfriend and I live together and share finances. I make significantly more money than him and we don’t have a car. We are not in a great financial spot and are living paycheck to paycheck. I take a 90 minute bus ride to and from work every day. It sucks. I’ve had some negative experiences on it with someone trying to attack me. My boyfriend refuses to take a 10 minute bus ride to his job, so we end up paying about $25 in Uber rides each day for him to go to and from work. He works between 2-6 hours each day making $25 an hour. He says he’s paying for it, so it should be fine. I pay all of our bills. I feel that him wasting $500 a month on Ubers harms us both and is selfish. AITA for expecting him to take the bus even if he’s paying for his own rides?",AITA for wanting my boyfriend to take the bus?,NTA
10y9y3j,"As we speak, we are on our way to the Broadway show ""Wicked."" On the drive, shes listening and singing to various songs, which is perfectly fine. Then, halfway there, she says ""you know what, in honor of Wicked...."" and summons up a Broadway playlist of showtunes. I ask her ""just please don't put on anything from wicked. I want to go in fresh and unreminded of the songs, the words, and the melodies."" The music is the story, after all. Listening to it beforehand is like reading the whole plot of a movie before going to watch it.For a few songs, it's other music from other productions. Then a wicked song comes on and I plead with her to turn it off when I realize that she intends to keep it on. She intentionally ignores me. She turns it off, angerly, only after the long instrumental introduction, just before the actual singing begins. It is at this point that she begins to go off on me and rips into me about how terrible of a person I am, about how I won't allow her to just be be happy. Furthermore, as supporting evidence to her point, she brings up how I ""hit"" her (actually a nudge) at the last show we went to, when she was singing along (albeit quietly, but loud enough for me and whoever is on the other side of her I'm sure). I nudged her because this is something I consider to be rude to the other show goer and immersion breaking - because it draws you out of the show and back into the audience to the person making noise next to you. So, AITA for asking her to just not play music from wicked IMMEDIATELY before going to watch wicked? And, additionally, about my philosophy concerning singing along (quietly or otherwise) while in the audience?Edit: some formating alterations. Also, to clarify, in the theatre she isn't full on singing, but it is a subtle noise that myself and the person next to her would be able to subtly hear. I don't want people thinking shes belting it out as though she was a cast member.",AITA for asking my wife to stop playing certain music?,NTA
10y8is2,"So i moved i to a new apartment complex a few months ago and we only have street parking, no designated spots or a parking lot/garage, which means that for 20 apartments, space is limited. About 3 weeks ago i reported a car that had multiple flat tires that had been sitting there since i moved in, and today i reported another car that has been sitting with a flat tire for at leasr 3-4 weeks now and both cars are/were parked in the beat parking spots, directly by the front of the building, on the street. 1 peraon has posted an angry message claiming someone is targeting them because their car was towed, but i dont see that as targeting.Am I The Asshole?EDIT: I realized i accidentally left out an important part, as pointed out by at least 3 different people. I reported the vehicles to the management of the apartments, and the in turn sent out an email to everyone in the complex requesting someone to move or claim the vehicle with 5 days or it would be towed.",AITA for wanting good parking?,NTA
10yea9v,"So, I’m having a tough time here.  I’m in my last year of high school and it’s time for cap and gown purchasing and yearbook page reserving. I have been telling my mom for at least 2 years that I am not going to the graduation ceremony, and I am certainly not getting a yearbook. High school has been the shitiest 4 years of my life and I just want to get my diploma and dip. WHICH YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE AT GRADUATION TO GET. Not only did she decide to purchase a cap and gown, but she also now is designing a page in the yearbook!! She even asked my opinion and got upset when I told her I didn’t want either. She is now holding it over my head saying, “I already bought you a cap and gown’!” I told her, “i don’t give a shit, I told you not to”. She got mad and walked away. I understand that she wants to do something to “commemorate” my high school years, but I literally have 0 friends at school and  have done nothing but want to off myself the entirety of my high school career. After going back and forth on this, I told her I’d dip and not come back if she proceeded with her plans. She called me an ungrateful asshole, and said I should be glad that she’s doing this for me, because some parents wouldn’t. I get that, but she doesn’t see my side either. I feel like I could be just a spoiled brat who wants things my way, but I also feel like I have a reason too. AITA in this situation?",AITA for telling my mom I’d up and disappear if she forced me to have a page in the yearbook?,NTA
10yikf2,"I 32 (f) never really had many friends. When I married my 34 (m) husband he had a huge friend group that was very close. Obviously through dating and then marriage they kind of “adopted” me. I think a lot of them are really nice people and don’t mind being around them, though I wouldn’t classify any as “close friends” at least of mine. Recently I have started making some friends and spending a bit of time with them (other women with similar interests) and got invited to a party coming up at one of their houses. My husband is mad and irritated that I want to spend time with these new friends when I “never made an effort with the women in his friend group” and  to be fair I need a lot of alone time and it’s difficult for me to make close friends, but me and his female friends get along but never “clicked” if that makes sense?  I expressed interest in attending the party and he said he would rather “spend time with friends that mattered to him” this hurt my feelings as I’ve never really brought friends to the table…I think he’s being really selfish but am AITA for not just automatically being friends with his friends??I’m really second guessing myself. Any advice?",AITA for being a late bloomer?,NTA
10yigop,"This past weekend was my 50th birthday. I was really excited as it was the first birthday, since my 21st, that I really wanted to celebrate. I wanted to wake up to the ocean sounds on that day so I picked Mexico to celebrate with my immediate family. My son flew in from Florida the day before and he, my parents, my daughter and my husband all drove down and stayed in a rented house for the weekend.A little bit of background is that I have been in recovery for 16 years and it's not a secret. My husband and son were both there and remember how bad it was before I got sober. My daughter wasn't born yet. One of our house rules is that there isn't any alcohol in the house, at anytime, for piece of mind. My father, who's getting forgetful, made a joke about bringing alcohol for his coffee and I stated that I don't drink so he didn't bring it with.When crossing the border, very little food can be taken due to each country's laws, so a trip to the grocery store is required to make it through the weekend. Once we got to town, we headed to the grocery store for produce, meat, etc. I was looking at the bakery for a cake for myself and couldn't find my husband and son to ask their opinion on one. I hunted them down only to see that they had been in the liquor section and had beer and mixers in the cart. I asked them if they were seriously buying it and they just laughed, bought it and brought alcohol into the house. I spent the next two days with beer in the fridge and or watching them drink it. I was angry all weekend. I told them that they were disrespectful to me as it was my birthday weekend and they shrugged it off and continued on. I just couldn't believe that my family bought and brought alcohol to an alcoholic's birthday weekend knowing that it an issue. We are supposed to go out to Florida to visit our son as a family and I refuse to do that. I don't want to be in the position of them having alcohol all week around me I know that it's always going to be a temptation but also know that it's not even an option for me. Am I the AH for getting angry and not respecting the fact that they don't have a problem with alcohol?",AITA for being angry over alcohol and breaking house rules?,NTA
10yfigl,"My older brother (22) and I (21) had to mature pretty quickly as kids. My mom was a single mother in her 20s for a bit after leaving an abusive relationship. We had to learn to cook, clean and kinda just take care of ourselves. Now she relies on me to help out with her younger ones because she claims to be too tired. Mind you she’s in her late 40s now. Eventually she got together with another man who’s now my stepdad. She had my 2 younger siblings with him (13 and 16). Although i’m glad he’s in the picture, he’s not really involved. He pays the bills but doesn’t cook, clean or parent at all. The rare times that my mom asks him to sit down and have a chat with my siblings he says he hates dealing with that stuff because it just ends up giving him a headache so he walks off without helping. My mom doesn’t do much around the house anymore. She doesn’t cook or clean. When I worked the night shift there was a time where for an entire week we ate fast food for dinner because she wouldn’t cook and I wasn’t home to do so. I work the morning shift now so she expects me to pick up around the house and have dinner ready by the time she gets home. She also doesn’t enforce any rules. My siblings can stay home from school whenever they feel like it. She doesn’t stay on top of their grades so they’re failing a lot of courses and not on track to graduate. She lets them be on their phones 24/7 and doesn’t assign them chores to help around the house. I try and stay on top of them but they’re at that age where they don’t listen especially to me since i’m not their mom. My mom and I have gotten into lots of heated arguments mostly started by me saying I don’t want to parent them since it’s not my job. She’ll go on to tell me it’s like paying her back for all that she did for me as a mother. I then tell her I don’t owe her anything because she chose to have kids so they’re always going to be her responsibly but she thinks i’m at an age where I can help her out and ease off the stress for her but I feel like she’s asking for too much. I don’t have enough money to move out yet but once I do I want to cut all ties. So, AITA or should I be expected to help out?",AITA for telling my mom i’m tired of being a second parent to my younger siblings?,NTA
10ybitt,"I (14M) got into an argument with my mom. It started a few days ago, when my online school sent out an email about a program called cubes in space. In a simplified way, this program is 2 months long, with meetings once every week. Also, there are assignments to do after every lesson. The program is based on allowing high schoolers to do experiments that will be sent to space. (I need to mention that I am not a fan of math, and I am neutral about science.) When I first got the email a few days ago, my mom asked me if I wanted to do it. I told her that I would think about it. I did think about it, and I said no. She accepted my answer, but today, things got bad. It started with her talking to me about it again. I again, told her no. This program is in the middle of the school year, and it ends right before keystone testing, which I need to pass to go to 10th grade. I told her this along with other reasons, including me just not wanting to do it. She refused to take no for an answer. She signed me up for the program while I was trying to explain to her why I didn't want to do it. She only talked to me to get information for the sign-up form. We were getting fed up with each other, so as I got up, I told her that she can sign me up, but I will be upset if she did. As you can imagine, she signed me up. I felt hurt and betrayed, and very disrespected.  She was pissed at me to say the least, not really talking to me. She then asked me to ask my friends (who got to the same school as me). They said that they weren't signing up for it, as they said that the program was too much for before the keystones. When I told my mom what they said, she got mad at me. (I just feel so confused and hurt)Before wrapping this up, I would like to mention that my mom is doing chemotherapy treatments for breast cancer. I take care of the entire house, do school on my own, take care of 6 pets, and prepare most meals for us. I also literally get her water every time she asks. I make all phone calls for her as well. (She is partially def, which means that I am helping her with everything that has to do with her treatments.)Reddit, please tell me if AITA. I will answer any questions in the comments for clarification.",AITA for my reaction towards my mom forcefully signing me up for a 2-month program.,NTA
10yf1xs,"I was on a particular art-sharing site (DeviantArt) that I often frequent, and came across a recent upload from somebody.  I recognized the art style instantly as being that of a talented artist I admired.  The only problem: the account that had posted the art was not that of the original artist but rather some random individual.  There was no caption or other indication of who the original artist was, so I assumed that the “reposter” had stolen the artwork and was claiming it as their own work.  They had also given it a different title than the one the original artist had used when the latter had posted the image on their own account a few years back (yes, I actually went back and checked).Well, somebody had commented “Excellent work” on the image, and the original poster replied with a simple “thank you”.  I responded with my own comment, accusing the reposter of stealing the art from the original artist.  Reposter replied saying they had permission to repost, before calling me an “arsehole” and blocking me (they also added a caption afterwards saying they had commissioned the work from the original artist).Was I the a**hole for commenting and accusing the reposter of stealing the artwork?  Should I have reached out to the original artist instead and informed/asked them?  Was I also wrong in making such an assumption in the first place?",AITA for calling out somebody for “stealing” artwork?,NTA
10ybino,"Yall, I can't even with this. We planned a month ago to go on a deep sea fishing trip. My husband bought a boat two years ago (5 days before I gave birth to our youngest) and I have yet to be deep sea fishing on it. I have never been. So we both had a break in work and planned for this weekend. We asked his parents (his dad goes out on the boat a ton while I stay home and watch our girls). When asked we were told they would only keep one kid because it was too much trouble to keep both kids. Which was a bummer but that's okay we can take our oldest out with us. He talks to them last week and things may get canceled because his sister is having a melt down about work. So I tell him to check in with his parents to make sure this weekend is still okay. I go get the girls and come back and the first words he says is ""did you know it was my mom's birthday?"" I am shocked. I recently smashed my phone and had to get a new one and lost everything and didn't even think of checking birthdays. I thought it was in June. Well then come to find out she cussed him out for this. Obviously they got in a fight. And a comment made about her asking to keep both and he replied with ""no keep one, you will not let me live this down if I left both of them with you"". And I am sitting here feeling like a terrible person. I never get time to myself and the one time I ask for just a day and a half this happens. I now want to cancel the trip. It's her birthday weekend. Nobody wants to babysit on their birthday. But I am now being called the AH for feeling this way.EDIT: TITLE IS MISLEADING: AITA for trying to cancel my part of the trip so his mom doesn't have to watch our youngest?",AITA for my husband forgetting his mom's birthday?,NTA
10yhujn,"Throwaway account because I don't want anyone involved to find this.I (20F) have a best friend (also 20F) that I have known for a few years. I've met her family before and always thought her parents seemed nice, but she recently told me something that concerned me. I won't go into too much detail, but my friend's parents are pressuring her to do something that is illegal and could get her in trouble. They think it's not a big deal and she won't get caught, but she told them no as she doesn't want to risk getting in trouble. Ever since she refused, her parents have been bombarding her with texts, which she showed me. I was shocked when I saw them. They were truly awful, vile things that I could never imagine saying to someone, much less your own kid. They are full of gaslighting, guilt-tripping, and emotional abuse. Her own mother literally called her a freak, a brat, accused her of being crazy, and told her not to come home, among other things. My friend is the kindest, sweetest, most empathetic person ever and doesn't deserve to hear those things, and they aren't even close to true.I couldn't believe what I was seeing, and I told my friend that this wasn't normal and wasn't okay. I also told her that this was emotional abuse. My friend apparently told her family about our talk and is now receiving texts again, angry at her for telling other people. I'm afraid I may have made the situation worse, but I just wanted to support her. So AITA for telling her what I told her? ​Btw- I have my friend's permission to post this.",AITA for telling my friend her family is emotionally abusive?,NTA
10ygsg7,"My mom (70f) has always struggled with untreated social anxiety. She doesn’t have many friends and communicates minimally to her family. She is also very aloof when it comes to a relationship with me (38f). It’s only gotten worse after she retired two years ago.I grew up basically unable to invite friends over. I stayed at home over the summer with my sister growing up with very minimal contact with friends. I didn’t have a birthday party until I was 20. I understand she has anxiety, but I’ve had to deal with it for so long and miss out on friendships and opportunities growing up.My mom has a very large family. I’m getting married and we are only inviting 60-70 people due to budget constraints. My fiancé and I are paying for the entire wedding ourselves and we just bought a house last year, so we have a strict budget.I wanted to invite three sets of aunts and uncles from my dad’s side and from my mom’s side. I asked my mom for help contacting people for addresses. She wanted to invite two extra sets of aunts and uncles and guilted me into it.When I called her today to ask her for the addresses, she said that I need to contact them myself. I asked her to do it for me because she has their contact info and that they are all her sisters.She said that I can go into her Facebook contacts and get their contact info that way to ask them for addresses. I asked her why she can’t and she basically implied said “Oh, you know how my family can be. You never know who is upset with who. And I haven’t talked to them in a while.”I was kind of upset. I asked her a couple times why she wouldn’t help me out by contacting two people. It was like banging my head against the wall.I’ve come to the conclusion that if she’s not going to provide contact info for the people she wants there because she’s too scared to talk to them, that I’m not inviting them because I didn’t want them there anyways. She is so afraid people are upset with herzAITA for not being sympathetic to my mom’s anxiety? Should I just do it?",AITA for not inviting relatives to my wedding because of my mom’s social anxiety,NTA
10ya2vu,"For context, i’m 16 and my parents divorced just under a year ago after being married for 18 years.My mom waited about 8 months to start dating again (I don’t know if that’s a reasonable time to wait, but to me that seems fast considering how long they were married) and connected with the first person she happened to meet. I honestly didn’t care, because I thought it would last maybe a month and then she’d keep looking, but it’s now been three months and they’re still together. I have four siblings, and the younger two really liked him when they first met. Me, my younger sister(13) and my older brother(17) were much more hesitant and wanted to wait a month before meeting him (again, I think that’s reasonable). We’ve all met/been around him three times over the past two months, doing things like going to cafes and shops. All three of us agree that we don’t really like him yet and don’t want to be around him much, but my mom is now saying she wants us to be polite and spend more time with him, “even if we don’t like him”. She even said she’s going to “force us” to be around him when we said we don’t want to. We all agree that we’re still hurting from the recent divorce and don’t want to spend time around someone we don’t like, and that our mom is being too rushed and pushy, but our mom simply doesn’t understand. Am I the asshole for wanting her to let us get to know her boyfriend on our own time?",AITA for not wanting to rush a relationship with my mom’s boyfriend?,NTA
10yffoo,"My best friend of 11 years is currently dating a guy (that happens to be my cousin) and has been dating him for 6 years. The last 4 years of their relationship her boyfriend has become emotionally abusive. I am getting married this year and she is obviously my maid of honor. So, starting last year I’ve been working with her to plan out some things, such as my upcoming bachelorette trip, bridal shower, etc. All of last year, these things have never been an issue. With things quickly approaching this year, we are finalizing details about any upcoming events or trips. Thus, we’ve been talking about these activities way more in depth. Side note: there was an argument between them about the bachelorette trip which resulted in him crying and begging her to let him go with us. She told him yes, just to get him to stop crying. Ever since that argument, everything relating to the wedding has to be hush hush. I’m not allowed to talk about any details other than the dates and times of certain things. Today, I called her to discuss outfits for the bachelorette party. I sent her some pictures of a few dresses that I liked and which ones I thought her and the bridesmaids could wear to coordinate (these were your regular party dresses/jumpsuits. Nothing extreme). She had put me on speakerphone with her bf right next to her. As I was talking about the dresses and the ideas I had, she wasn’t really responding. I didn’t think anything of it. Next thing I know, she tells me that she has to hang up because *insert bf’s name* will start a fight. I said what do you mean? I’m just asking about what you think about the dresses. She goes on to say that he will think they are slutty and that will start an argument. I said well why would he know what they even look like? She responded and told me that she HAS TO show him because he heard our conversation. She said sorry and the we could talk later.  At first I was okay but then I began thinking about it and just became instantly pissed. I can’t entirely explain my emotions around that, but I’ve summed it up to just being fed up with her boyfriend’s toxic behavior. I feel like it’s spilling over into our friendship. However, I also feel like I’m being extremely selfish and inconsiderate towards her. On one end, I feel like I’ve been the supportive friend, but this is getting to be too much. On the other end, I feel like as her best friend, I shouldn’t be upset as she is obviously in a terrible relationship. I brought my feelings to her attention in a text and I plan on speaking with her about it tomorrow. I just want to know if I am wrong for feeling upset about how I believe their relationship affects our friendship. TLDR; Best friend’s boyfriend is toxic and his behavior is spilling over into our relationship. AITA for being upset about how their relationship affects our friendship?",AITA for telling my best friend that her relationship is coming between us?,NTA
10yhl6o,"Hiya! Been tortured enough so I need a non biased opinion. I’ll start by saying I love my in laws and I truly look forward to spending time with them. They live across the country so we are lucky to see them once or twice a year. My MIL loves to ski so she comes here quite a bit in the winter and usually there is a trip with all the kids and their spouses, kids, etc. I will also preface with I am 30f, husband 32m, we will be together ten years this fall. Last year we gave very short notice that we would be able to attend so it was understandable (????) that we ended up in a room with our nephew who was 16 at the time. I love him dearly but sharing a room and bathroom with a pubescent teenager was not on the bingo card I selected for that trip. Fast forward to this year; we had given ample notice that we could attend so it didn’t occur to me to ask about the sleeping arrangements. The day of, I made a joke to my husband about sleeping with our nephew and he sort of brushed it off. Sure enough, we arrive and are instructed to put are things in his room yet again (in a large condo where his parents reside in the master bedroom). For context, there are two full sized beds and it is a big room but he is now 17 and we are all sharing a very small bathroom. I already do not sleep well and the added anxiety of all this made me extremely uncomfortable. I attempted to bring this up as we were unpacking but my husband shut it down immediately so I waited patiently until the drive home to bring it up. I asked if he would be offended if I got us a hotel room next time, and while he said no, every time it has come up since he gets completely  offended and takes it personally that I don’t appreciate the free trip. TLDR: my husband and I are now apparently always sharing a room with his 17 year old nephew on vacation when he could be sleeping in the room with his own parents ore literally anywhere else in the condo. Is this not super bizarre and in appropriate?",AITAH- in laws sleeping arrangements,NTA
10yhkz2,"I (24F) recently attended a bachelorette party for my (25F) close friend. We are from Texas and flew to Scottsdale for the weekend. I had to budget sparingly for the trip when it came to activities and food since travel expenses were not cheap. Since there were 9 girls in total we had to get a larger air bnb which costed about $100 per person as well as plane tickets for the round trip. For a two day trip I had already spent a little over $300 (not including activities). Most of our activities included going out including eating out for almost every meal, plus ordering two ubers every time we went out. I made sure to eat light and cheaply. One of the activities was an exclusive wine bar that required reservations for our larger party. I was told it would be $40 a person. However, when we got the bill it ended up being closer to $75 a person. I can not drink for health reasons so I sat there and drank water and chatted. I was not expecting, nor told, that the bill would be so high. Sense I did not budget for this and I did not drink, I said I could not pay more than $40 and would not split the bill for anything ordered at the club we were going to after the wine bar. Spending this much for only two days was already over budget for me. AITA for not paying my “share” of the bill?",AITA for not paying my share of the bill,NTA
10yhhlo,"The other day I bought my [30m] wife [29f] a box of Valentine’s Day chocolates. We don’t usually celebrate holidays or give gifts so she seemed pretty surprised. She’s been trying to eat a bit healthier recently and said I shouldn’t have bought them because she wouldn’t be able to control herself but in a light and joking manner. We had both been snacking on them over the past few days, then she told me “eat as many as you want because I don’t want to eat them all”. Well today I ate the last one and when she got home she was flabbergasted that I actually finished them. She said they were hers and I should have saved her the last one. AITA?",AITA for eating the last chocolate?,NTA
10yjetu,"I’m currently in an arguement with my partner about household chores. I work 3 x 12 midnight shifts. I do all the cooking, lunch’s for the kids, appointments, grocery shopping, meal planning, and on my days off cleaning, laundry. I wash my own clothes and my youngest child. Today when I arrived home after my 2 x 12 shift the kitchen was a mess. It usually is in some way. Now my partner helps out sometimes but leaves out the heavy chores like cleaning pots pans and leaves bowls of milk and wrappers and pop bottles for others to clean. When I’m home he typically leaves the plates on the table after dinner for me to do or my oldest. So when I woke up and see all these dishes I was upset. I went to get my child from school and came home to clean it up. Then I went and got my other child from school to come home and cook. I spent no time with my kids I only cleaned and made dinner before I had to quickly shower and return to work. While I made dinner a created a short list of chores for everyone in the house to do on my days at work to help out and make me feel less like they could care less about me. This enraged my partner to the point of him calling yelling at me and asking if this is a joke. He said I’m being a dictator and that he won’t follow any chores lists from anyone and I should appreciate the things he does do around the house. I do appreciate the things he does and I tell him that however it’s not enough if Im not saying thank you like a lot. Here is the chores list I asked if him: empty the side of the sink that air drys, wash the pots and pans on my work days and make sure the kids do their chores on my work days. I literally do not think that’s a lot to ask. I feel overwhelmed and exhausted. I care for people constantly at work and home. I just want some help and talking doesn’t help anymore.So AITA for creating a list for my family to help out?",AITA for creating a list of chores for my husband?,NTA
10yhp8y,"I know I'm probably not the asshole, but I want to yell in the void about this, because I still feel a little guilty. I went to the 7/11 across the street from my apartment, and on my way back, I see a guy appearing to stand on my back porch, peeking through a gap in my blinds. As I walk up he gets down, and starts looking at his phone. I ask him what's up, and he replies that he lives here. I let him know that the door he was standing in front of was my apartment. He then replies again that he lives here, and points vaguely in the direction of my bedroom. I point out that is still my apartment, and he clarifies he meant the next building over, about 20 feet from the end of the building where my bedroom is, and that he pays rent just like everyone else. I walk away, he tells me to have a blessed day, and I tell him to have one too.I'm white, he was a a Black dude. I'm going to feel bad if he is a neighbor, and thinks he has a racist neighbor that he shares a common area with. On the other hand, we have break-ins here. Hell, someone Kool-Aid Man'ed their way through a wall in an empty garage to get into mine. If a stranger is hanging on my porch peaking through my blinds, I'm asking questions. I'm not immediately calling the police, and I did not in this case, but I am asking questions about why you need to be chilling on my back door.",AITA for calling out a dude peaking in my blinds?,NTA
10yhokd,"Sorry in advance for the dissertation. I (22m), have a brother Xander (29) and a sister Olivia (30). Growing up, Xander was made the scapegoat by his peers at school. As a shy kid he never defended himself, which led to teachers believing the other kids and labelling him a problem child. As a result he was often punished for things he hadn’t done. When he eventually started to break out of his shell and speak up, the teachers didn’t believe him and our parents believed the teachers. (Something they’ve apologised for in adulthood but he still resents them for). My sister went to a different school and I was too young at the time to have his back, so he learned at a young age to defend himself because no one else would. By the time he got to high school, being hotheaded and defensive was his default setting. This has carried on into adulthood and he cannot handle conflict without shouting, insulting and threatening (though it’s rarely gotten physical). We address his overreactions with him but he always has a reason any given argument wasn’t his fault, cries, apologises and is back to the same pattern when the heat dies down. Last week we were at my parents’ and Xander and Liv got into an argument about dishes he had left in the sink. They were going back and forth, both being snarky, patronising etc but nothing major. Xander went for the jugular and the petty argument turned into a full blown fight when he said she had bigger things to worry about than a plate and to focus on her own household. For context, her husband was laid off work and they borrowed money from Xander and I so they wouldn’t lose their home. Liv started crying and her husband lost it. Now we usually don’t get involved in each other’s arguments but I felt like this time he’d gone too far. It’s embarrassing enough to have to ask your younger brothers for financial support without it being flung back in your face over dishes. Now here’s where I may be the ah. I blew up on him and said it’s not the world’s fault he had an unfair childhood and to stop taking it out on everyone. I said if we weren’t brothers we wouldn’t be friends because it’s exhausting not knowing which minor infraction is going to escalate. I said he needs to get therapy because he’s already driven away friends and potential girlfriends, and one day he’s going to look around and realise he has no one left and will end up bitter and alone. He didn’t say anything, just grabbed his stuff and left. I know it must have hurt to hear, but that’s genuinely how I feel. He isn’t answering my calls (which I’m not surprised about), but I genuinely didn’t want to hurt him, just give him a wake up call. My dad and sister agree and think it was long overdue, but my mum thinks though he was wrong, I’m an ah for saying it. I personally think that’s her guilt talking and I want to hear from a neutral party. So, AITAH?",AITA for telling my brother he’ll end up bitter and alone?,NTA
10ygy5y,"My father is in a state pchyc hospital. he has bi polar 1.  he gets manic angry and asullted aneighbor, dont care why its assallt.   He is being evicted for the behavior.  Refuses to recognize.  I ask because he has animals that even in a better state didnt care well for.  I need to rehome them for them to survive. i found great could not be better placement.  My father said NO i read its illegal to rehome and or send to a shelter animals that arent yours.  they are property.  you can be held liable for stealing and also sued for emot damage.​Should i do it anway to save pet lives?  he has let birds die b4 to make a point they are his not mine.","AITA my dad in an institution, getting evicted, and wont permiss my rehoming but i will anyway",NTA
10yfqhf,"Me (15m) and my (17m) brother, Jay, have alwags been very different. Jay always perferred painting or musicals with our mum while I always perferred football and car shows with our dad. We are really close generally but he is very sensitive at times.So I’m turning sixteen in about two months. My family is admittedly well off and, though they attempt to not spoil us, my parents love going all out on birthdays. For example, Jay got a three week trip across Europe. a vintage oil paint set, and a real expensive camera for his sixteenth. So my father revealed at dinner today that I’d be receiving a car for my birthday. Specifically a beautiful 1967 Pontiac Firebird that we’ll be starting to restore next week. I’m so extremely thankful and excited since it’s been my dream car since elementary school. Sometime in my excited rant I made a teasing comment about how I would be on the road before Jay was and that maybe I could teach him how to drive. My parents chuckled at the jokes so I thought it was okay, however Jay excused himself from the table soon after.After my parents went to bed for the night, Jay decided to confront me. He started ranting about how disrespectful it was that I said something like that and how degrading it was that I was given a car prior to him as he was the oldest making him the “obviously” better son. I reminded him that he has literally never shown any interest in cars or driving and doesn’t even have a permit but he responded that it was “about the principle.” We went back and forth arguing for a bit before he called me a “better off dead daddy’s boy” to which I responded that “at least dad loves me.” He ended up storming off to his own room and I have since cooled down. Though I know the last thing I said was wrong, I think that he shouldn’t have gotten so angry over an offhand comment line that. AITA?",AITA for getting a car before my older brother did?,NTA
10ygwhc,"My partner and I have been going through some rough patches. We were on a break for a while. We didn't speak to each other for weeks. During that time, I bought tickets to a concert in the summer. It's an electronic group but they *never* come to my state, so I'm going out of town.We got back together at the beginning of the year. She's been trying to get tickets to see her favorite artist this year. She asked if I wanted a ticket, I told her no, I'm already going to a show. I told her about it , and of course, she immediately got angry. Even if we were together, I probably wouldn't have bought her a ticket because 1) she doesn't like that type of music or the group and 2) if one of their songs comes on in the car she hits me with a ""*what are we listening to???!!*"". When we're in the car together, I usually play something I know she can deal with, because my music tastes can be abstract as some people probably don't dig it. Shoot, sometimes I like classical in the car but she doesn't care for it.Anyway, she said she considered me for the ticket, but I didn't consider her and I'm actively trying to push her away. I asked her ""do you like them?"" She said ""I don't know them but I might like them after the concert"". Knowing her tastes, I doubt it, but I can't get her a ticket now. She's upset.TL;DR my girlfriend is mad at me for buying a concert ticket and planning a trip without her",AITA for buying a concert ticket for myself and not my partner?,NTA
10yia4k,"I (18nb) have 3 roommates (all 18F). We'll call them Anna, Izzy and Kaitlin. I also have a boyfriend (19M) who we'll call Andy.  Andy is in a rough spot with his parents right now. They don't like that he is bisexual, but can't move out right now for financial reasons. Because of this, Andy and I usually hang out in my room, but as I mentioned, I have 3 roommates. And I live in a dorm, so that's 4 of us sleeping in one room. Sometimes Andy and I will do the deed in my room, but we try to make sure none of my roommates will be home soon, and if we're wrong we just stop because I don't have any more right to the space then they do, and with 4 of us it's not exactly reasonable to kick someone out for sex. When Anna and Izzy have walked in on us, they usually laugh it off, make some sort of joke and either look away so we can get dressed and hang out, or run in, grab what they came for and leave again while apologizing. Kaitlin hasn't been as. Kind. When she walked in on us, we stopped immediately. (Kaitlin hangs out in the room mostly so we figured she wouldn't be grabbing something, which is fine, like I said, 100% has a right to the space) But when Andy asked her to give him a second to get dressed, she just walked in and sat down at her desk, without even responding to him. At first I didn't think much of it (maybe she had headphones in?) But she keeps doing things that just don't feel right.A couple weeks ago me and Andy were just messing around (watching YouTube and play-shoving each other) and she turns around and goes ""Can you guys wait until I leave to do that? It's weird..."" I get that usually college students don't ""play fight"" usually but like, it's not like we're doing anything bad? Or louder than the party across the hall? It just was a very aggressive comment given that nothing *uncouth* was going on.Today was the last straw. I was very tired, so my boyfriend decided to just walk back to his car by himself and leave me in the room to get some rest. He helps me clean some stuff up, and then picks up his things and goes to kiss me goodbye. When he kisses me, Kaitlin stands up, shuts the lights off, and goes back to her desk without saying anything. It's definitely worth noting that Kaitlin. Likes having the lights off? It's kind of strange but the other three of us just let her do it and turn them on when we need them.  The lights also had been off because of this until Andy and I got up to clean/pack his stuff up and we turned them on because we needed them. I don't want to make her uncomfy, but she doesn't talk to any of us and besides the one comment about play fighting, she hasn't said anything to me. Am I the asshole here?EDIT: just answering some questions people keep asking and adding some extra info that could be relevantBf is over 1-2 times a week. We have sex about twice a month in the room. (We've just been dating a while so if you add that up people walk in on us occasionally)Lights are not an issue. I find it a little annoying, but it could be a sensory thing or something so as long as I can have the lights on when I need them, I don't care if they're off.The ONLY roommate who has a problem with this is KaitlinBf does NOT live with me and never sleeps over. He leaves by 10 whenever he is over. Kaitlin is in the room most hours of the day. She usually orders food, takes mostly online classes and is never out with friends. Most of the time when my bf is here, she is here, but the other two are not.",AITA for having my bf over when I have roommates?,YTA
10yi50u,"My father passed away from his heart exploding in dec. He was up in a town he was working out of. On that day my middle sister was the only one that made it to say the goodbyes. All us other sisters could not make it in time as we all live 8+ hours away and it was a massive shock and surprise to our entire family.So as my dad had passed and all his work possessions and vehicle were up in this town he was working out of.My sister lives 3 hours away from said town and we all had decided she should keep his car and his possessions for the time being.So after 12 hours of no sleep and just loosing her father she decides to drive the car the 3 hours so she can be home.That’s where this gets fun.While she is driving said car 3 hours home after just watching our father pass and having absolutely 0 sleep, she gets in a wreck with a semi totalling our hours deceased fathers car.Here’s the kicker, she has no license and she has claimed it was her boyfriend who was driving. He was driving their truck in-front of her, as he had driven her out to say the goodbyes for us all.So she has totalled my hours passed fathers car and was begging the semi driver to say it was her boyfriend driving.She could’ve left the car at my uncles house, whom lives right next to the hospital my dad sadly passed away at, slept in her truck while her boyfriend drives, and not lie to an insurance agency.She thinks my dads insurance is going to pay out her boyfriend, as they’ve claimed he was driving.So here’s my question…….AITA for calling the insurance fraud department and tipping them off about her being the driver?I mean…. She did crash my fathers car (without a license) and claimed fraud on his insurance THE DAY HE DIED. I’m so ashamed she’s even related to me at this point and I know my father would be appalled if he were still with us.Oh and she gets his life insurance from his work as she did my fathers paperwork for him and only put herself as a beneficiary.50,000$ and a car she crashed the day he died.",AITA for telling the insurance company my sister scammed them?,NTA
10y97x0,"In the past 3 years before this one my girlfriend (both of us 28M/F) has gotten into multiple car accidents, most were just very minor things like scraping a pillar, wall, hitting the mirror, backing into someone and one was a little more moderate when she rear ended someone and got a ticket which was the only one that went through insurance.For the past year there have been absolutely no incidents, she drives more than I do and is the one who drives us most of the time, although I have a car and drive as well. I am not scared of her driving and despite those unfortunate incidents she is a decent driver and before those 3 years never had an accident.Anyway for the past 2 years, whenever she goes for drives, I like to joke a bit and say things like, drive safe, don't hit the pole, don't scratch your car, don't dent the car, don't rear end someone etc, I switch it up every time and thought it was an inside joke. I did not know that she minded it at all as she always laughed it off.Recently though she was not too pleased after I made such a joke in front of her coworkers and said that she thought I would have realized by now that the joke is getting old. I was a little taken aback and thought it might be because she had her coworkers there but I have done that in front of her friends and our families many times.AITA for her not taking a joke? I am fine with stopping now that she asked me to but I am a little annoyed at her for suggesting that I should have known this on my own without her communicating it to me.",AITA for joking about my girlfriend's driving,YTA
10yiu07,"The day I found out my dad died, I located his will but (stupidly) deemed it safer filed in the office than on me in my grief-stricken state.My brother and I spend the day at our dad’s calling people, etc.I lock the house that night, and bro and I agree we will come back the next day to continue our work at the house.Unbeknownst to me, SIL and bro came back that night. They got a key from a neighbour who was drunk af and they let themselves into the house under the pretense of helping to ""sort"" all my dad's paperwork for me.A different (trusted) neighbour saw them remove some files that night, but didn't disclose this to me until nearly 2 months later.So, when I go back to my dad's the next day to meet up as planned and find the house already sorted, I wrongly assume, for 2 months, that they came early that day to help me sort.I get a bit annoyed that they've gone and rearranged all the paperwork from where I had left it ""Why did you guys come here without me? I told you to wait.”But my brother is quick to shut me down, “Drop it. You should be grateful we came early to help you."" And of course, I dropped it, the voice in my head telling me I'm out of line for questioning my brother in our darkest hours.In those months, every time we would clash on something, he'd say to me, ""OP, let's not fight. You're all I have left."" And for a long time I didn't say anything for fear of rocking the boat and losing my last close family member.I search everywhere for the will. I turn the house upside down, scour phone and financial records, call notaries and lawyers within a 25km radius of my dad’s house, I even put up an ad in the classifieds.During all of this, bro is sending me text messages telling me to hurry and move on with the current will, and that I'm acting illegally by delaying the estate process.2 months after my dad’s death, Trusted Neighbour comes forward with information: they saw bro and SIL leave with file folders from my dad's place that night we found out he died.I take off my rose coloured glasses and begin to distance estate business from my brother’s reach.6 months pass, still no will, and I’ve exhausted all options of finding a new one. I finally ask my brother if him and SIL had anything to do with the will's disappearance.Cue the emails and texts: How dare you say such a thing! Let us take a polygraph test to prove our innocence! You are a sick... You disgust me… You should be ashamed of yourself. We never want to see or speak to you again.""I ended up moving forward with the old will to keep the peace because they were harassing me a lot. But even though we are moving forward with what they want, he/they don't want anything to do with me, won't even go to therapy to talk about any of this. ""Take your offer of therapy and shove it up your ass.""Personally, I don't want much to do with him after this either, but I am still left wondering, AITA for asking if they took it?​Edited to Add:* I am working with a lawyer now to push through the old will* Lawyers have advised that going after the new will with no physical copy would waste what little money my dad left me on the courts/lawyers/legal system* My assumption is that whoever made the new one has a copy, but I just can't seem to find who made it. I contacted all the notaries and lawyers in his city that do wills.* The notary who made the old will has been retired for a number of years and could not have done the new one* I do not have a copy because my dad died just weeks after finalizing his will. I would have gotten in the coming weeks.* I also contacted regulatory agencies overseeing notaries and lawyers to send out memos to their members* I posted an ad in the classifiedsI did all of these things before even trying to approach the conversation with my brother. I tried every way to find it without having to ask him. ",AITA? My dad's will disappeared after my SIL/bro sorted his paperwork. I asked if they took it.,NTA
10ychdb,"I have a young year old son and his mother has primary custody of. I am a recovering heroin addict and I have been clean for 3 years. Because of my history, I have not been able to get joint custody mainly thanks to her not wanting to split her time with our son. My baby mother also has 2 other children whom I am not the father of.After I got clean my uncle got me a job at his company and I started making pretty decent money. Given that I only have one child to support, I’m a better financially than my sons mother. I pay way over the amount of child support I’m supposed to give her for this reason and help out where I can. I however can’t confirm it all goes to the kids and legally speaking anything extra I pay, I can’t.My son had a birthday party recently and I’ve been saving up someone money to take him to Disney World. Just a father-son trip. I set it all up in secret and went all out for the surprise. I got him a bunch of clothes with his favorite characters and in the pocket was a note saying that we were going to Disney world. I didn’t tell anyone this because I didn’t want for anyone to spoil the surprise, so everyone found out at the reveal.He was of course super excited and so was I, until his mom pulled me aside after and went off on me. She said it was extremely fucked up for me to do that. She said that I one upped her less expensive presents. She also said that unless I was planning on taking her other kids, I’m not taking our son because the others will be unhappy if he gets to go but they don’t. I said that was unfair, I already planned out and paid and it’d be messed up to rescind this after our son already knows he’s supposed to go. His mom and I argued about it for the rest of the time I was there. She told me I ruined his party and that I never should’ve came. I told her that I wouldn’t tell my son that he’s not going to go to Disney because I believed it wasn’t my fault. AITA?",AITA for “one upping” my sons mother with a Disney trip for his birthday?,ESH
10y8nvc,"Title sounds really bad, can’t change that. But it’s more along the lines of AITA for not taking care of Ty after my sister (a part time caretaker) got homeI (20Nb) was in my room relaxing with my boyfriend and Hades, when my mom called because she completely forgot she had to take my Mimaw to an appointment. She called and asked me to stay home until my sister Lex(31) got home from work. **My oldest brother Ty(34) is mentally and physically disabled, my mom is his full time caretaker and is paid by the state and Lex in the last couple years became a part time caretaker (as in there are timesheets and she gets paid) and Ty is never left home alone** Ok, yeah, I can stay home, BF and I can wait to go to the grocery store. Mom had called at about 2:30, Lex typically gets home not long after that. BF wanted food so we ordered and went to the main floor (my room is in the basement) to wait and eat. A bit after food arrived Lex got home, so 3:15-3:20ish. We finished eating and Lex said « Before you go back down, Ty has been screaming » he hadn’t been before she got home, and even if he had I’d check on him, but sometimes he just yells. So I said ok, mom just asked me to stay until you got home. She gave me a weird angry laugh and when I went back to my room with BF she slammed the basement door shut. I feel like I am kind of an Ahole, but at the same time I’ve repeatedly expressed over the years that I am not comfortable with the responsibility of taking care of him, I am not mentally or physically capable, as well as I lose track of time and get too easily distracted to properly and consistently remember to check in on him. Mentally due to sensory issues and many other things, physically because I am not strong enough and struggle to lift and move Ty. I did what my mom asked and stayed home. She did not specifically say to go and take care of Ty. If you don’t specify certain things or give me instructions I won’t know that it was just supposed to be part of the task. I feel bad but also annoyed because it’s not my job and not my fault that it wasn’t specifically communicated to me to do.Edited for clarity and additional info*I did check up on him and he’d been fine and there were no emergencies. I wasn’t neglecting or ignoring him.text from my mom **By the way today was so last minute so I am not the least bit surprised that it was not clear that I was asking you to also take care of Ty**",AITA for not taking care of my disabled brother when my mom left to take my grandmother to an oncology appointment?,YTA
10yhqxk,"I’m 29 (F) and recently moved to SC with my fiancé. We have been together over a decade now and have grown up in Maryland our entire lives. We decided it was time to move. We don’t have children yet, but one day. We plan to get married soon. My mom has not let up on me about how “selfish” I am for “leaving my family”. (I’ve been gone 6 months and already have been home twice). Side note: my moms husband (my stepdad) is abusive and an alcoholic and made the ages of 19-26 pretty unbearable for me and my brother. I won’t get into the details. Retraining orders were involved. Issues have been “resolved” and my brother and I are cordial with my stepdad. My father passed shortly before my mom and stepdad got together. I explained to my mom that I’m much happier here and didn’t want to live the rest of my life in the town I went to high school in. I told her we are actually looking at NC and VA in the next year I’m an effort to be closer to home so it’s easier to make weekend trips. Still, she said “what’s 5 hours compared to 8…” AITA for making decisions that make me happy?",AITA for moving from MD to SC,NTA
10ye0fz,"I (34F) am loosely helping a friend to plan and throw a party for her son who’s turning 4 this weekend.While I love my friend and her son and her family who have always made me feel welcome, I really dislike her husband and his family, to the point where they’ve made me so uncomfortable in the past that I’d prefer to never see them again. They’ve made racist and classist comments towards me regarding my hair (I’m black with short natural hair) and my job (they couldn’t believe i spoke so “well” and had a director level job in marketing). They also speak so horribly about anyone they deem below them and treat others like literal dirt. It’s appalling. My friend also dislikes them and can’t believe how awful they are, and is having trouble with her husband, so I try to be there for her for moral support, but I think I’m done. She chose to marry him and that family, and though I’ve known her longer than them all, I may have to tell her I’m done attending any events his parents plan to also attend. WIBTA if i told her this and also skipped the party this weekend? I can still help her set up and bake the day before so I’ll get to see her and her son, but I can’t interact with that. family. This is my first time posting here so please let me know if more info is needed!",WIBTA if I backed out of my friend’s son’s birthday party?,NTA
10y8pmx,"I (19f) have a dad who has played golf every Saturday for at least the last 25 years. He goes almost every weekend and sometimes in the weekdays after work. Myself, my mum and my sister (17f) have to work our schedules around him, for example: I’m going to have to get 3 trains (a 3 hour journey) to come home from university and look after the dog while my mum and sister go to some appointment in the day as my dad refuses to take a day off from golf and obviously the dog can’t be left alone all day. We’ve all kind of made comments about it to make sure he’s aware that it’s really inconvenient but for the most part it’s fine as my mum and sister are usually not out for long periods of time often. The issue is that I started university this year and he has yet to come and visit me in my flat. He hasn’t made any effort to come and see me and it’s really hurt me because I feel like I’m not important enough for him to cancel his golf for one week. He won’t come on Sundays because he has work the next day and doesn’t want to do a long drive on the Sunday which I understand and he has work in the week so the only realistic day he could come is Saturday. But of course he won’t cancel his golf for me. Tonight he made a comment basically blaming me for him not visiting because the one time he didn’t have work on Monday and planned to visit me on the Sunday i was already at home instead of being at uni. So I replied that he could cancel his golf this Saturday which is when I’m planning to go back and he got annoyed so I asked “is golf more important than your daughter?” and he just stared at me then tried to guilt trip me and say that he works hard in the week and wants to be able to relax at the weekend by playing golf and not spend it driving for hours. He’s made me feel like I was in the wrong for asking about it but I think it’s reasonable? I just need some more opinions. I guess I understand not wanting to drive so far but it’s just that he hasn’t visited once and it’s been 6 months. AITA?",AITA for asking my dad to prioritise me over his golf?,NTA
10ygniq,"This situation happened earlier today and I can’t go to sleep because of it. So basically I was in history class and I was with my friends working on a project and these group of girls who are friends with my one friend (I’ll call her Max) started talking shit about Max with my friends. I was trying not to get involved or overhear anything but they kept rambling on about how much they hated Max. One of the girls talked about Max’s ADHD and how she takes adderall and how she was trying to sell her pills. I thought that was inappropriate to be sharing out since that is personally information. Apparently Max also gave her an alcohol addiction? I didn’t know about this so I was pretty confused.I do know the girl who was spreading these rumors had a crush on a guy and my friend Max started dating him so there was a little tension between them.They continued talking shit and this one girl asked “aren’t you also friends with Max? Or are you just pretending to like her?” I explained that I was friends with her. Here’s the thing, I promised her “friends” I wouldn’t tell her that they were talking shit.Fast forward and I’m in math class and I tell my friend Max that they were talking shit about her in history class. She got super mad and confronted her over text. These girls who were spreading rumors are now mad at me for sharing this to her. I didn’t mean to start drama I had my friend max promise she wont say anything. I thought she had the right to know though.So AITA for starting this drama?",AITA for telling my friend her other friends were talking shit behind her back,NTA
10yihy0,"To give some background, I am an interior-designer and my husband is a lawyer. With that knowledge in tow, my husband, since before our marriage, had owned this old-recliner. Upon asking, he said that he picked it up in-college off the side of the roadAs such, when we were designing our new house, my husband brought the thing and placed it in our living room. Now you have to understand this things was at minimum a decade old (perhaps even two). It stunk of beer/garbage and it looked horrible in the living-room. I tried to design the room in a way that would make it fit but the thing still looked awful in it. Whenever we had guests over they all would comment on how bad the thing looks.Needless to say, I started trying to convince my husband that it needed to go, but he insisted that he wanted it to stay. So one day, when he was at his work, I came and threw the thing out. In its stead, I bought a new recliner. Now I know my husband works super hard everyday so I bought the best one I could to surprise him.When he came back he was extremely sad. He liked his old recliner, and though he isn't mad, I keep remembering his face when he walked in through the door. I feel awful.AITA?**First Edit (Clarification):**\- When I asked him why it was so important. He said ""I've had it for so long now"".\- I tried to get it professionally cleaned, and it still smelled horrible. They said it was the best they could do.\- While we don't have a basement (we live in California), in hindsight, I could have moved it to the garage.\- As for out guests: the one thing that served as the tipping point, was the wife of a colleague of his had come-over and she had started sneering at me for having this thing in the living-room. It just tipped me over the top.**Second Edit:**\- I am very very sorry. I seriously just didn't want a couch that would stink up the house. I seriously didn't mean to hurt him. I love him. How do I fix this, I can call the people who I gave the couch away to.**Third Edit:**\- Y'all really make a mountain out of a mole hill. This is said husband. It's fine, it's a couch. Stop making my wife cry. ",AITA for throwing-out my husband's recliner out of the house?,YTA
10ye69g,"Am I the asshole for telling my boyfriend he can't watch videos when we are supposed to be going to sleep? My boyfriend(29M) and I(28F) have been together a little over two years. I am an extremely light sleeper and have a really hard time going to sleep. It has to be pitch black and kind of quiet (white noise is okay). If there is even a small bit of light, I can't sleep until I find the source and cover it. I know it's a lot to ask for, and I might sound a little crazy. I've really held back when my boyfriend would come to bed and immediately watch videos on the Clock app or Book ofFacess app. It would bother me because I mean, we are in bed to go to sleep. Watching videos makes it difficult to do that.I try to go to bed before him because if I'm already asleep,  he won't watch videos. I've politely asked before that no videos after 11:30pm, but then I pushed it back to midnight, then 12:30 am. because he would always say just a few more minutes. He has since disregarded my request, so I've recently gotten short with him and told him to put his phone away so I can sleep. He resorted with no or ""Can't even do what I want in my own bed"" while making his away to the couch. Am I being unreasonable? I dont understand what's so unfair about my request. Am I the asshole? If so, how should I resolve this?",AITA For Telling My Boyfriend He Can't Watch Videos in Bed?,NTA
10yjcx5,"I (19F) and my best friend (20M) let’s call him mark, me and mark have known each other for about 2 years, when me and him first met i was more shy around people and in a bad state of depression, now I’m more confident and happier than before. I started dating his brother a few months ago (19M) and that’s when he started getting a little cold to me.He always vents about his girlfriend but still doesn’t listen to me when i try to give actual advice, recently he called me saying “hey we have to talk, i don’t like how your acting and i miss how you used and how our relationship was, can you try to act like how you used to be again? I miss you.”I got mad and upset because before i was miserable and too childish even for me, and he wants me to go back to how i was.I agreed because i was already too upset to argue but a few weeks later he mentioned it again and asked ME to try harder to do it.I started yelling at him saying how i shouldn’t have to change myself just to be his entertainment and people actually like me how i am now, he hasn’t spoken to me since and I’m not sure i did the right thing AITA?",AITA for yelling at my best friend?,NTA
10y8hb4,"I want to start by kindly reminding everyone that this is not a debate sub.I (23f) am a practicing Christian with a degree in Biblical Studies. My friend Beth (22f) is preparing for her grandfather's death. Her grandfather is a practicing Christian and is gay. He is expected to die by the end of this month. The family is making most funeral arrangements early because he wants to help and approve of some things himself.Beth invited me over to help. She is putting together picture boards and I am helping her decorate them. Her other friend Katie (who I have never met) came over for support. From my understanding, Katie is Catholic.Beth began crying, saying she doesn't know if her grandfather will go to Heaven because he is gay. Katie flat out said he wouldn't because being gay is unforgiveable. My jaw dropped. I pointed out that the Bible does ***not*** say that being gay, bi, trans, etc. is unforgivable. I calmly shared some scriptures with Beth to make my point. I ended by suggesting that she share her fear with the priest who will be giving the eulogy. He has been visiting the family every couple of days to pray with them, talk to the grandfather, etc. We finished the picture boards and left. By the time I got home, Katie had found my Instagram and sent me a long message saying that I was an AH for putting the spotlight on my beliefs and education while ""ignoring"" Beth's feelings. I have not responded to Katie (I don't plan to) but I thought back and can recognize that Beth had become quiet and had physically created more space between us in how we were seated in the room. I texted Beth and asked if she felt hurt by my response but she has left me on read, which is not like her. Granted, I know she is very busy, exhausted, and grieving.AITA for how I approached this given the delicacy of the situation, and AITA for not responding to Katie?",AITA for Sharing my Religious Beliefs in this Way?,NTA
10yh0a5,"writing on my phone at 2am, sorry if it looks a bit messyi (f19) used to play guitar and sing during my entire childhood. ever since i was a kid i knew i wanted to do music for a living, thing that my parents hated and always made sure to tell me it was a waste of time. that made me really self conscious about it and slowly stopped doing it in the house, then stopped completely. when i was 17 i asked my parents for their support to apply for a full scholarship to a music program oversea and long story short, they hated it and told all kind of bad stuff. i gave up on music because everything related to it was extremely painful, to the point where i couldn't listen to music for months. now 2 years after that, my sister (14f) has been showing interest in playing the guitar and my parents asked me to give her my old one. ive been wanting to return to play and sing for a couple of months, but never had the courage to do it; and now that they are encouraging her to do something they ""bullied"" me into giving up makes me angry and sad at the same time. now i want to play again because i saw it as my last chance to do it. i can lend my sister the guitar from time to time, but i won't gift it to her and i will decide if she can uses it or no (i bought it with my own money when i was 12, if that makes any change)i don't want anyone to think that i want to do it now because im being selfish or jealous, but i don't want to explain the whole situation either bc that topic always ends in a fight and it still is very painful to me, so AITA?",AITA for wanting to start playing guitar at the same time that my sister?,NTA
10ycgxz,"My (32F) bachelorette party is this weekend. My MOH had done an amazing job of organising a wonderful weekend away with my friends, been flexible about attendees only making it to part of the weekend, having to work for a couple of hours, and understanding about budgets. Frankly, she has done a miracle to coordinate this all. For the weekend, we're staying in a remote cottage in a dark sky area, as I'm an avid stargazer and it's one of the activities. My sister (38F) is a single mom to a toddler (3M). They've spent only one night apart in his entire life and she still cosleeps. She has a live-in nanny. My MOH has been organising this weekend since last September, so this is not a surprise to anyone. However, the day before everyone is supposed to arrive, she is messaging my MOH asking if the nanny can stay in the house with us in her place, and she will stay with my nephew in a hotel for the night that she will be joining us (she decided last minute that she is not coming for the full weekend). In fact, she will only be joining us from around 11am-4pm for a single day, as after that she needs to do bedtime. If he's asleep fast enough, she might be able to join us during dinner that night. That's when she suggested the nanny take her place sharing a room with one of my friends. Initially, she was angling to have my nephew stay at the house but my MOH was very firm that it would be completely inappropriate. I don't think it's fair to the nanny to stay with a house full of strangers celebrating an event she's not part of, and I don't think it's fair to my friend to share with a stranger that she doesn't know. My MOH offered weeks ago to help my sister find appropriate accommodation in the area, but my sister declined the help. If she refuses to accept that she needs to get her nanny different accommodation, WIBTA to tell her that she doesn't have to come at all? This is not the first time that she's made an event all about her and her son's needs and I'm getting very tired of the lack of consideration towards others and the self-centredness.",WIBTA for uninviting my sister from my bachelorette party?,NTA
10ygkm2,"I (34 F) am the MOH for my bestie (36 F).  It's been a few weeks of back and forth re: the bridesmaids dresses.  I am more conservative than the 9 other  girls and it shows in the way that I dress. I am a bigger girl and have more curves both top and bottom. The other girls are taller and more slender.  I do not wear strapless or spaghetti strap dresses.  I do not wear tops with Racer back or halter tops.  I do not wear short dresses that are high above my knee nor do I wear incredibly tight dresses. No low low low cut jeans or crop tops.  This was the way I was raised and the way I am most comfortable. I do not ask anybody else to dress differently around me. But I am not comfortable wearing what would be considered 'club clothes'.Bestie would like all the girls to wear these Strapless or Spaghetti strap dresses.  They have sweetheart necklines and a low back.  (Low to me, anyway)  I have no issue with colors or materials or lengths.  But the neckline is very uncomfortable for me along with my back being bare.Bestie has a vision (as she should) and wants it executed her way.  Completely understood.  But I am not comfortable.   I have asked that as MOH, I have a different neckline to be different and it was refused.  Same with wearing my hair down to cover my back or wearing a shawl or shrug of some kind, raising the neckline or adding a modesty panel were all shot down.  I'm constantly being told that I am overthinking it, the neckline is not too low, it's not too revealing, etc.  I just telling her that this option is not a good look on me.  FYI: I tried on several different versions of these while 'just looking' and was immediately put off by how I looked and felt in them.I am at a loss at what to do. I'm getting to the point where the only option will be for me to back out as maid of honor and let someone else take the job. Her wedding is in about 8 months so I wouldn't be leaving her in the lurch or anything. But I'm getting tired of fighting this every time that I speak with her and I don't want to shell out hundreds of dollars to wear a dress I don't like or feel comfy in, apong with paying for hair makeup, and accessories.WIBTA for not being MOH over a dress that I will never wear again?",WIBTA if I back out of being my bestie's MOH over a dress?,NTA
10yb773,"I (white-23F) have been dating my fiancé (black-24M)(Race is relevant)Growing up my parents never really wanted me to date anyone who wasn't White, I have two older siblings and both of them happily got married in their twenties, my parents have no issue with their significant other, only mine.They try to say that he acts like a gangster, uses slang, and dresses like he's 'a criminal' but I know they are like this because he's blackNow the reason they didn't like him at first with my understanding was that he got me pregnant at 20 (We weren't dating at the time it was just a hookup)But my parents were completely fine with me having a child until they met the father.My now fiance  was super nice about the situation, he said that even if i didn't wana get married or anything he would still pay child support and extra of anything for whatever I needed for his baby, but we both decided it would be better to try to talk and see if we were compatibleWe were. We definitely wereI started distancing myself from my family because they were so rude to him, however he didn't want me to do that, he really wanted them to come aroundHe was invited to Thanksgiving and he was super excited, like I mean he almost criedI lost it halfway through when my mother said she hopes I don't marry a 'gangster like him' and that 'you don't see a Bluejay fucking a pigeon' IN FRONT OF MY FIANCE AND THREE YEAR OLDI completely lost it at her and my dad and almost everyone in the room that was related to me except my childI said many hurtful things and we stormed out, my fiance still thinks that if I apologize maybe we could work this out, but I'm tired of them treating him like this and him just being okay with itEveryone is saying I'm in the wrong AITA?",AITA for yelling at my parents?,NTA
10yb6qt,"My best friend constantly says he’s right when we both know that he is not. It was funny at first because he would not admit he was wrong over the most unimportant things. However, lately I have been getting annoyed because every small amount of normal bickering, he insists hes right. In class whenever the teacher asks a question, he whispers the answer and when hes right he shakes me and says “i was right”. whenever i argue that it really doesnt matter bc hes afraid to say it out-loud and be wrong or tell him to stop he says “but i was right.” I was telling him something today but would not back down on his obviously wrong argument. Twice today. It was making me pissed so i said shut up and gave him the cold shoulder and he looked mad afterwards (though im not good at reading people). Hes kind but sometimes he gets on my nerves. Idk maybe im just tired and cranky so i was thinking about making him a gift bag to apologize but idk if that will teach him anything.",AITA for shutting down my best friend with a slight god complex?,NTA
10yhd0t,"So I (22f) live with my Dad to help him out with rent, one of my friends (22f) who I’ve known since preschool has moved in too as she needed a place to crash with cheap rent - we’ll call her Lola to keep it anonymous. Lola and I have a bumpy friendship, we always have each others back even when we’ve stopped being friends in the past - we also tend to smoke a bit of weed together. We stopped being friends for a while and when we got back in touch I found out she was pregnant, she was still smoking but told me the midwives told her to keep smoking weed, because quitting mid pregnancy would be bad for the baby. I thought that was fair enough and let her smoke with me at home, though I encouraged her to smoke less. Fast forward a year after Lola has given birth, she loses custody of her daughter and has to complete drug screens. Now for the present, Lola has another baby on the way to a new boyfriend she’s known for less than 6 months, Lola is still smoking cigarettes, smoking weed, drinking 500ml energy drinks daily, she sits at home or goes out with her friends to smoke. I have provided Lola with a laptop to watch Netflix, clothes, shampoo, conditioner, body wash, bath bombs, etc, I let her use whatever she wanted or needed to. She used all of my shampoo and conditioner, all of the body wash, she told me I gave her the body wash to keep when I didn’t. She ordered a new body wash and doesn’t let me use it. I bought new shampoo/conditioner which Lola was using without asking, I got frustrated and took my hair products + bath products out of the bathroom in hopes she would go and buy some of her own stuff. Lola asked the next day if I had any spare shampoo/conditioner and I told her no but there’s a hair mask you can use, she assured me she would go shopping but didn’t. When Lola first moved in she washed the dishes twice while my dad and I were at work, we appreciated it and expressed that to her. In the last few months, she’s only been washing her own dishes and won’t put dishes away either. My dad and I do the dishes on our days off work, the last thing we want is to do housework when we get home after working all day. I have also stopped smoking recently and decided to take everything out of the smoking area - all she does is sit at home and get high so if she wants to smoke she’ll need to find a way to do it herself. I can’t support her smoking while pregnant anymore which means not giving her a comfy area to do so.tldr: I let my friend move in, she sits at home getting high despite being pregnant and does nothing while my dad and I go to work. I’ve stopped providing her with a smoking area and won’t let her use my bathing products unless she contributes around the house.",AITA for not supporting my friend anymore?,NTA
10yf17j,"So I moved out for the first time and I'm living with a girl I know. When I moved in she had already been living there for 3 years. It's a small place, and I agreed to move into the smaller bedroom, leaving me with literally only enough room for my bed and a mirror, while hers had plenty of space for shelving, dressers, a fridge, and a walk in closet. Upon moving in she discouraged me from unpacking my belongings and furniture, insisting that I could share all of her things instead. She is (by her own admission) a huge control freak who doesn't let others make decisions, and the house was already cluttered and full of her own belongings. I grew up in a home that was absolutely pristine at all times, no matter what. She is a VERY unorganized person. Dishes in the sink or left on tables for days, bags of miscellaneous things piled in walkways, furniture inconveniently placed too close to walk by, and strange tacky trinkets covering every surface. She's super into witchcraft, oddities, and antiques, with entire bookshelves filled with jars of dried herbs, skulls, and family photos. She also insisted on leaving several full sized human skeleton halloween props next to the living room couch year round which really creeped me out.She suffers from a lot of mental illness, including extreme paranoia. She believes people are watching us through the windows at night so she covered all the windows with peel and stick coverings. I get pretty depressed unless I can look outside and get lots of sunlight during the days. Finally she leaves for a month long vacation and after a few days I can't stand staring at all her things, so I spend 2 days deep cleaning the entire house top to bottom. I scrubbed the baseboards, sanitized every surface, vacuumed,  mopped, sorted, and rearranged every cabinet or storage spot in the house. I even washed all of the pillows, blankets, and seating. Most importantly though, I took down the window stickers, put the skeletons and halloween decor in storage, cleared all her candles books and clutter off of the surfaces I encountered, rolled up the rugs I thought were ugly and set all her grocery bags of unknown clutter outside her bedroom door. I did genuinely plan to put everything back before she would be home and figured she'll never know. Aaaand then she came home early, one day when I was gone. She called me panicking and cussed me out, saying I had violated her trust and disrespected her. She was livid and didn't even let me speak. I came home to all of my few belongings thrown in a pile and notes all over telling me I couldn't touch any of the things she had been letting me use and that she would be getting rid of anything she had given me. I feel like this wouldn't have happened in the first place if she had given me a say in the decorating, but she always veto'd my suggestions claiming there wasn't enough room for my things or that my ideas didn't match her style. AITA?",AITA for moving my roommates stuff,ESH
10yes0g,"Ok so I have a fest in my college on the first weekend of March and my long-distance girlfriend wants me to come over on that particular weekend. I could come a weekend later or prior but she wants me to come on that specific weekend. She wants me to ""choose"" between a fest and her. Of course, I would choose her but if I can meet her a week prior or later and attend the fest then why not ? I tried to explain this to her but she says she is feeling like she is begging for my attention.",AITA for not meeting my long-distance girlfriend for a specific weekend?,NTA
10yfn1e,"My (39 M) roommate and best friend Horace (40 M) used to play D&D with a friend Claus (40 M) that we have known since grade school.  When he learned that we were playing D&D regularly, he showed interest in joining us.  So, we made room for him at the table so he could enjoy our games with us.Sadly, problems began to show themselves pretty quickly.  Firstly, he seemed to have no grasp for the rules and mechanics.  He never seemed to remember how to roll to hit or what to roll for damage.  Never mind the idea of casting spells.  Casting one spell would often take anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour.  I understand that it takes time to learn a TTRPG system, but that brings about the second problem.  He never really wanted to learn and would make constant excuses for why he couldn't remember.  Even after we took the time to help him find solutions in the form of taking notes and going over the rules in the books as well as our own homebrew rules, that started bringing up the next issue.  The complaints.  He complained that he never did well in combat.  He complained that he didn't do well in social scenarios.  He complained that he didn't know how to improve.  This was despite that we never kept any secrets from him.  We tried to teach him what kinds of things we were doing to get stringer and how to speak in the RP section of the TTRPG.  But it never really stuck.All of this was compounded by the most major issue.  He would often be playing on his phone, his laptop, or his Nintendo Switch because, in his words, he needed to be doing something with his hands to help him pay attention.  This is a good time to bring up that he has Asperger's Syndrome.  It was with this in mind that we attempted to help him by finding other things that fulfilled his ideas while still helping with the game.  Like taking notes or drawing up maps.  It worked for a time, but he eventually fell back into his bad habits.  There were times that he even showed up and then fell asleep midgame!We tried hard for ten years.  **Ten years.** To keep him included.  But neither Horace or I could justify the constant disrespect and so we stopped playing D&D with him.  We didn't stop inviting him to hang out with us, we just stopped suggesting D&D.The reason I am bringing this up is because I have been planning to start a new game and that brought all of this back up and I am wondering if I didn't do enough to help him out in getting into the game.Good people of Reddit, AITA?",AITA For No Longer Playing D&D With a Friend?,NTA
10yhsqz,"My girlfriend, me, and two of her friends that I now consider friends spontaneously went out to eat. My gf has strict parents and told her she must be home, so she left and I offered to take our two friends home. One of them asked if we could spontaneously just go on a long drive and talk about some kind of deep shit, since they are both struggling mentally. I of course said yes, and after a while I took them home. When I got home, my gf wrote me an essay about how she’s mad at me. She said she was hurt I went out without telling her. She checked our life 360 to see if I was home yet, and saw I was still out. She told me how she constantly feels left out because of her strict parents not letting her go out, and was upset how me and her best friend could do this to her. She even said “I’m not trying to be controlling.”  I responded by saying to her that I was hanging out with some friends and that we needed to talk about mental stuff, and accused me of invalidating her feelings. I told her she is being controlling. She’s gotten upset with me before for hanging out with friends. The whole thing was blown out of proportion in my mind, but it was really disturbing how mad she got about me spontaneously hanging with friends even though we left out a friend who lives somewhat far away and some of our other friends. AITA ?",AITA For this argument I had with my gf?,NTA
10yj78s,"My (28F) bf (30M) recently got a new leadership job that requires him to spend two hours driving every day. His work schedule is 9.30-16.00. Before he took the job, I said that I’ll make dinners for us because he’ll be home at 17.00 and I’ll be home around 16.00-17.00. The thing is, since then I got a new part time job on top of my normal job that will last for a half year or so, and I get home at 19.00 and do work at night as well. Also, currently there are a lot of office issues that bothers me and I spend a lot of time thinking and stressing. Usually, my bf and I try to make dinner together. But after he got his new job, he’s been increasingly asking me what we’ll have for dinner. He wakes up at 7.30 and gets back from work at 17.00. When he gets back home from work, he just games until he sleeps. Weekdays and weekend. I leave at 8-8.30 and gets back usually between 18-19.30. The other day I got home at 19.00, my bf asked me what we’re having for dinner. I asked him in disbelief if he expects me to make him dinner even when I get home late, and he said yes or he’ll order takeaway. Honestly, I get stressed out thinking that I have to get home to make dinner for or with him every day now that my career is so hectic. I kind of just expects him to take care of himself and me of myself when I work late. I don’t do a lot of house chores, but he has a lot more time to kill than me. After I snapped at him for having unreasonable expectations of me, he said that he wouldn’t have taken the job if I didn’t “promise” him I’d take more of a housewife role. And that he will not be making dinners anymore. I only have like 3 hours every day to spare at night, and I’m annoyed that he can’t accommodate the current situation.TLDR: bf got a new job and doesn’t want to cook anymore because I “promised” him I’d be more of a housewife. AITA for not wanting to cook for him when I work 2 jobs and get home late for the time being? Edited for grammar correction.",AITA for not making dinner? Career vs. dinners.,NTA
10yd03w,"I (27m) have a girlfriend (26f) we’ve been together since high school, we broke up in college since we went to two different colleges but then got back together after we graduated. Growing up I was always on the bigger side, and I was bigger than most kids my age. It gotten so bad to the point where I was almost 500 pounds and that’s went I realized that it was time for me to start losing weight. Around two-three years ago I started losing weight, I started eating better and exercising more and my girlfriend was a big help with it all. My girlfriend was the polar opposite of me, she was always on the slimmer side. She always ate a lot of junk food and what not but because she played a lot of sports the food never really affected her. She didn’t really start to gain weight until college, she still ate the same the only difference was she stopped playing sports and she got more lazier. When we broke up my girlfriend was at around 125 pounds and when we got back together she was at around 246. I never said anything cause I didn’t really care big or small I still loved my girlfriend because she was the apple of my life and I thought she looked even better since she gained weight it really complimented her shape. Now back to the problem at hand ever since I started dieting and exercising more my eating habits have changed a whole lot. I eat better and I go to gym and get a bit of a five hour workout. I’m at 250 and I’m getting more muscle than fat now. My girlfriend is at around 350-360 and she has gotten lazier and eating more and more. I would ask her some times if she would like to join she at the gym but she would turn it into an argument and say that I’m calling her fat. Now don’t get me wrong I’m still deeply in love with my girlfriend and I plan to propose to her very soon, but I feel as though if she doesn’t change her eating habits she will soon get to where I was or even worse. I sat her down yesterday and explained my concerns, and she got upset and asked me if I wanted her to be skinny like the other girls. I told her no and that I just wanted her to eat healthier and explained that her body size was never the issue it was just the way she sat around and ate junk food and how it just processed and build up. She’s now mad at me and hasn’t spoken to me since then. She sleeping in the guest room and she hasn’t came out. AITA? If so please give me tips on a better way to approach this or if I should just leave it alone all together.",AITA for wanting to girlfriend to lose weight,NTA
10yhb4m,Went to a restaurant  went to the sed robster and wanted to order an appetizer. Asked the server does this have cilantro or chipolte he said no I don't think so I asked him to check he did not and brought is anyway well all the green stuff all over the plate is cilantro and he had to put t on after it came through the hatch from the kitchen I sad again that cilantro made everything taste like dirty dishwater. He said oh well it is parsley I said yeah sure it is.  tasted it and dirty dishwater. I asked for one with out garnish then he said well I have to charge for both. I then said I want your manager. he rolled his eyes and got the manager explained again about my weird taste buds and she got me another one and then took it completely off the bill. Server still wanted to put cilantro on everything and the manager interceded and finally just took over our table. The server shot me dirty looks all night. but am I the asshole here. I just don't want food to taste like dirty dishwater.,AITA if told you Cilantro and Chipolte taste like dirty dishwater and you served it anyway?,NTA
10ydif4,"I fucked up. It was me. It doesn't matter that I wasn't in control. It doesn't matter if I don't remember. I'm still responsible for myself. I dropped the ball at work due to mental illness and alcohol abuse.​I don't know how much they know, but I know that I'm not scheduled next week. I'm sure the cameras saw it all. (NOTE: Nothing technically illegal happen; Just deeply frown upon.) I messaged my boss and let him know that I understood. It was my responsibility. It was important to me, even if it didn't seem like it. I'm embarrassed. I fucked up. I sent several messages to him apologizing. I insisted that if there was a money discrepancy that I would pay it, of course. I quit my job.​He still wants me to come in and speak with him. I'm not in trouble and he's not mad, at least he says. He tells me there is no money owed. Everything is accounted for. We never agreed to meet, but he began to call me over and over, messaging me again and again when I didn't respond to him fast enough. I also ""missed our talk.""​I'm dealing with a lot right now, not only with mental illness. I really don't want to go into a job I don't work at anymore to explain that I'm crazy. I don't want to work their anymore. I know my bridge is burned. I just want to be done with this chapter. I quit. He tells me that ""I owe him."" I feel as if I owe nothing. Literally considering I don't owe money and you've shown me I'm not needed, my resigning seems to be accepted. Can't we all just move on?​WIBTA If I just blocked him. His phone habits are starting to bring me anxiety. I want start my next chapter.​​INFO: I was the manager and I dropped the ball on almost all of my most important duties. When I'm manic I feel the need to hide things so I hid things in the main office from others. I pulled an all nighter there even though I shouldn't have been there throughout the night. I'm sure I was caught on camera walking around in the dark, talking to myself, I crushed up all the money and important paperwork and put in back in the cabinets, laid on the floors for long periods of time. General crazy person stuff. Also things I don't even remember. Everything has been corrected, nothing technically illegal (I guess maybe trespassing), I'm just dumb.",WIBTA If I blocked my ex boss after quitting due to a manic episode?,NTA
10ygq1k,"We've been together for 3 years and I've always had difficulty making friends. Last year he had introduced me to some of his friends that I have grown close too however he grew distant from that group and gained new friends. This is my first friend group in 4/5 years that I genuinely feel connected and accepted into. Recently he has been pushing more to reconnect to the group of friends  but he says it just to be with me more, then he changes it to that he knew them first. He has his own group of friends he hangs out with near to daily and easily gains new friends. I cannot go with them because we are long distance. it's very rare for me to go out with a friend in person because I only have 1 friend irl willing to go out with me which is less than 3 times a year. I brought up I do not like him randomly rejoin into the friend group that I was accepted into because he has his own he can actively do things with. He just told me that he had known them first and acted as if I didn't want to be with him at all.When I explained that I did want to be with him I just wanted a friend group to make memories with myself because I missed out on my teenage years, he had told me that I never want memories with him which is completely untrue. It has become a sensitive subject now and I leave the group at times when he speaks to them because I feel annoyed or just uncomfortable that he's on my belt but also ignored. He over thinks a lot and when I speak with my friends or agree to match/do things/tell them something first  he gets upset. Even when they don't answer him and answer me instead or someone else he gets upset and says he's left out when he wasn't or was on a completely different topic than everyone else.  I understand why he does this but I feel trapped in a box having to watch what I say constantly because of him and seeing him talk to my friends while being out with his friend  hurts me. I often wonder ""are his friends not good enough and that's why he's pushing so hard to rejoin the group?"" But oftentimes that's shot down when I seeing all the pictures with him and his friends all having fun together. I always envy these because the last picture I had taken with a friend was early last year which was only 2 pictures. Am I the asshole?To clarify something, I am in a predicament where I am not able to go and make friends in person unless I knew them prior which again is only one of them. I'm not saying the reason for privacy reasons but that contributes to it and the situation that causes that is out of my control. He knows of this situation and knows he has a more free life than I do but continues.",AITA for not wanting my boyfriend to be friends with my friends?,NTA
10y9qw2,"Hello everyone. I am a total mess rn but i really do need some advice on this. I am so so sorry but this is going to be a little long.It all started like half a year ago. Me and my boyfriend have a sweet little cat and she lives her best live here. However, i always felt she was a little lonely when we were away all day to work, so we decided a second cat would be amazing for her so she could have some social time even while we were away. Low and behold we had the opportunity to adopt a baby cat, which we both happily accepted. We had planned everything, had bought food, scratching posts, cat toilets and so on. It has started two days ago. I have been SO excited for the whole wait until the day we can bring home our little kitten, which is tomorrow. I have been speaking about nothing else to everyone, including him. He was seemingly excited too, finally being able to bring the kitty home tomorrow and being a happy little family.Two days ago he broke the news to me. Tomorrow, the day we are adopting the kitty, he will go out drinking. I don‘t even know with who, but he will be driven to work, will be driven to someone to drink and then driven back home at night. The whole thing has been planned two. days. ago.I have been planning our kitten adoption for literally three months. I reminded him every day not to make plans. But he made plans. I ask him to cancel or move the plans, but he just tells me to move the kitten adoption. He said: „well they invited me and i just said yes“. I told him that this really hurts me, and that i feel he doesn’t take seriously how important that is to me. He just proceeded to tell me basically that i never do anything important to him and that i am in the wrong for being upset. This made me even more upset i must admit. I wanted to end this in a nice way so i decided to push, remind him that he does do so many things for me but also softly trying to remind him what i also do for him on the daily. I tried to explain that this is genuinely one of the most important events to me, however he did not want to listen and threw a lot of negatives at me. I NEED to mention that i am not perfect in either way. At this point the relationship might just be way too broken already. I have a lot of (mental) issues, i break down easily and get irritated easily. I often say that i cannot do a specific thing for him simply because i cannot bring up the energy to stand up. I skip out on family events a bit (i try to go every time i can bit it is really hard for me) and i admit it sucks.I am seriously not sure if i am simply overreacting. Its getting to the point where i am checking my options. I earn basically nothing, so i already sent a text to my mom asking if it is possible to make some space for me to move in again with my cats. I am debating ending it one and for all.. The negatives have simply racked up, and this might be my last straw. Am i the asshole?",AITA for getting upset over my bf making plans over an event i had planned 3 months prior?,NTA
10yckhf,"In highschool, final year. My teacher allows us to eat in her class if we didnt have enough time at break to finish our lunch.I walk to my desk to sit with my friend and had my wrap in my hand, and my classmate immediately see's this and proceeds to basically stare me down until I leave. I could tell too, so I kind of halted my eating, because my classmate staring at me just made me feel uncomfortable; and I know if I continued eating, she would have gotten more mad.Thing is, im far from her, like 2 rows behind her and to the far right side of the classroom, so its not like she can hear me chew, whisper to my friend, etc, and im a quiet person and my friend as well. Next to me, also happened to be a classmate who was eating food as well, and she is way more closer to the classmate who has sensory issues. Thankfully, my teacher does also allow a couple of minutes to go downstairs to the cafeteria if we need it, so out of respect and because I did not want to be stared down, I just went there, and asked my other classmate who was eating if she wanted to come down with me.Its not the first time with this classmate either. I have been of a miles radius near her (not close at all) and was chewing gum, and she would immediately tell me to go even more further?? Im far enough?? And my backview was towards her, so it isnt like I was facing her while I was chewing. I assume she saw me grab my gum packet and decided to tell me off from thatAt this point, I assume she's just against me, for whatever it is I did. Im asking this subreddit just cause I dont wanna be a douchebag when Im off to college in September, I'm all for respecting sensory issues, but to me, my classmate, seems like she just dislikes me? And uses her sensory issues as an excuse?","AITA for ""bothering"" classmate's sensory issues?",NTA
10yere0,"I know this sounds silly but please bear with me. I 35F) recently got divorced and had to move with my sons into my grandparents place temporarily. They are renting but the landlord was ok with it. Anyways, we live in the city on a very busy and overcrowded street so parking is really hard to find. If I work a late shift, I’ll often have absolutely nowhere to park unless I go really far up the street. There is also a parking ban in effect so you can only park on certain sides of the street. I had noticed some people park in their yards so that’s what I started doing. My grandmother was a little iffy because she didn’t know what the landlord would say about it, which was understandable. But she said it would be ok. I’ve done it a few times and no word from the landlord so I figured it would be fine. Tonight my grandfather saw my car in the yard and absolutely lost it on me, he was yelling and cussing at me. He called me a b**** when I asked if I could please have the landlords number so I could call and ask him if it would be ok that I park my car there only on nights when I come from work late. He just kept on ranting about how terrible I am, even went as far as saying I’m such a loser… it honestly had me in tears. All over something so small. Himblowing up on me has been a common occurrence since I got here. My family has a history of being toxic and abusive and then gaslighting me into believing I’m the problem. They do this in front of my kids as well. I just… I’m not sure if I’m the AH here. TLDR; AITA for parking in the yard due to a parking ban?",AITA for parking in the yard?,NTA
10yk7a0,"My (25F) mother in law has recently started copying me in everything I do. She has taken over the things I enjoy as she Googles them and constantly claims I know nothing and she is the expert on my hobbies, interests and anything I enjoy. I told my (25M) boyfriend that’s it’s really frustrating me but he says I’m an asshole, she is just trying to find new hobbies and I’m overreacting.",AITA for feeling frustrated towards my MIL,NTA
10yho8v,"So I (18 f) and my best friend (17 m) have had a pretty good friendship up until now. We met each other in a school program in high school and immediately hit it off, we became super close in the spam of 2 months.When we met each other I was a senior and he was a sophomore. Now I’m a freshman in college and he is a junior in high school. Our relationship is completely platonic and we feel like family to each other. We have never had any arguments.Fast forward to February 5th I completely forgot that our anniversary was on Sunday because my sister and her family have come over to eat dinner with us,and I was busy finishing a tight deadline for college. I remembered when my friend texted me saying happy anniversary and I said it back. Now we both said we were going to spend that day together about a week in advance; so I felt horrible having to cancel plans last minute.We both have agreed that family always comes first before anyone.So I told him he can stop by tomorrow and get some leftover food that we had. He agreed and the day went on. Next day arrives and my sister unexpectedly slept over so they were with us the whole day.My nephew was sick that day and we were too busy watching him.By the end of the day I was pretty exhausted and my sister kept bickering about cleaning. I didn’t have the energy to socialize so I lied and told my best friend that he couldn’t come since my sister was being a b****; he said that’s fine and we moved on like normal.My sister had told me that my friend had some negative thoughts on me skipping out on our anniversary, they had talked and he basically said that what I did was rude and he feels like he puts in all of the effort in our friendship;how for the past month I have been dry and I have an attitude. And how he is always the one asking to come to my house but I barely invite him,now I have to put in the effort because I never do and because he doesn’t chase. I felt my heart break and questioned if our friendship was that small to break apart so easily since we both have gotten closer.I cried about 7 times today and kept thinking about how I’m going to confront him. I asked myself why he didn’t tell me the day before because I had called him and deeply apologized  for what I did on our anniversary. He said it was fine and “it is what it is” and for context on our friendship I’m always the one paying when we go out and I have gotten him multiple gifts yet he has never gotten me one since his parents don’t give him money and he feels bad about it. I don’t expect anything in return and I give gifts as a form of my love language. I feel completely horrible for canceling plans. Another thing to know is we’re both equally busy with school and he says we’re still friends,but that our conversations our not the same since the anniversary. So AITA?",AITA for not being with my best friend on our 1 year anniversary,NAH
10ydpfi,"For my birthday, I had 6 girls over. 2 didn't stay the night. I had 2 girls over I had never had over before. I liked them a lot but not anymore. So, first off, no one wished me a happy birthday, which I get is a not a big deal I guess, but it was just one thing out of a lot. Second, they are a lot of food and kept asking for more. It wasn't like we didn't have food for them either. Pizza, sushi, cake, chips, etc. Almost all cleared out by the end of the night. One girl (we will call her Emma) was particularly rude. Just ignoring me, only talking to the other girls, in general just being frustrating. Then, at around 12 AM, Emma and her friend began asking if we could go get McDonalds. Now, I know some parents are fine with this type of thing, but mine are EXTREMELY strict and it's laughable that I would even consider asking my parents when they wouldn't take me in daylight, let alone so late. They also locked me out of my bathroom, 5 of them in the shower (showering after swimming) which is way too much. My shower door is messed up, so if you hit it too hard then it is likely it could break. So they locked me out, banging on the door, and my dad came down and yelled at me to get them to stop, they could break it and get seriously injured, yada yada yada. So now I'm freaking out and they won't open the door. after this point, I start kind of ignoring them. I went to the bathroom and cried and my mom came down and yelled at me for being rude to them. I talked to my sister and she was on my side. For the rest of the night I pretty much ignored them completely. Emma and her friend asked if they should leave because they felt I was mad. They asked to door dash and all this stuff. I was on the verge of tears, on my birthday. My parents are mad at me, these girls are trying to leave at 1 AM on my birthday, and I just felt awful. I know that I was mean too, but I feel like they started it Now I sit with Emma in a class, and she hates me. I don't know what to do and I keep wondering if it was my fault. AITA?",AITA for ignoring my guests on my birthday?,NTA
10y8bwt,"Me (34F) and my ex (35M) have a child (11M). This was a surprise and completely unplanned. We tried to make it work but when our son was about 3 we parted ways. We didn't work as a couple and we made each other miserable. So instead of exposing our young child to daily screaming matches, we decided to separate.I've always been very accommodating with time and access. As I had grown up without a father, I was keen for son to have as much access to both of us as possible. I suggested every weekend (as long as I could have son on occasional weekends to do stuff) and a bedtime every week. My ex decided he would do 1 night a fortnight as that's what worked best for him.Everything seemed fine for a while. But, as our son got older,  he was growing more and more resistant to going to his dad's. Son didn't like the girlfriend, and found his father intimidating to the point he felt he was always in trouble. When I opened discussions to try and get to the bottom of what was going on, ex would state that son wasn't trying while visiting, and he needed to try harder for this relationship to work.Contact has pittered off, with son not really wanting to contact his dad. And ex hasn't really bothered. Last time they saw each other was a week before son started at new school in September.  The last time I sent a message was 2 weeks into the school year to update with how things were going - left on read and no message from him since. Last time messages were exchanged between son and dad was first day of school. Son was last to message. No correspondence since.So, AITA for going quiet and not trying to keep pushing for communication? I feel like it shouldn't be up to me and should be down to him to make an effort. I have pushed for them to have a relationship for the last 8 years and now I don't see the point.",AITA for giving up on my son's dad,NTA
10yc7rp,"Me (25m) and my girlfriend (20f) have been together for nearly 2 years and it’s been great.However, her friend Jack(17m) is constantly over at her place meaning me and my girlfriend can’t do anything. He always ridicules me about what I should be doing in the relationship.At first I ignored it since I barely knew her but now it’s gotten annoying. He always has an opinion about our relationship even though he’s only a teenager. I put up with it all until last night. We got into an argument because I wanted jack to leave and my girlfriend wouldn’t listen to me. She started screaming at me until he got in the middle of it and told me to leave. She went silent and told Jack to go into her room, I've never seen her like this before she went from screaming at me to calm in-front of him in a matter of seconds.She then went on about her and Jack grew up in foster care together and how she always looked out for him. I tried to tell her that she was damaging our relationship by having a minor over constantly. It went silent again, I tried to reason with her saying how I only wanted to spend time alone with her, she didn’t listen and only told me that Jack was her brother. I tried to tell her that he wasn’t even her brother just a teenager she lets stay over. She got angry again and told me to leave her apartment, I kept trying to tell her what I meant but she slammed the door in my face.She hasn’t talked to me since and I know that Jack had a part in turning her against me.",AITA for questioning my girlfriends relationship with her friend,YTA
10ygmdn,"I’ve been stressed/extremely unhappy at my job for several months. The stress isn’t going away and every time I take a day off, my coworkers guilt trip me. The expectations are set so high that I can’t reach them, and my boss blames me for not reaching those expectations. Doesn’t provide me with any support either. I feel stretched thin and often come home to my fiancé just bawling.I started job searching in September, and recently landed a remote position, but it’s a contract position that would ultimately result in more than a 50% pay cut. My fiancé is disappointed by my acceptance of this position, as it’s going to put us in more financial stress in trying to pay for our wedding. He wants me to get another job on top of this new job (I will be working 9-4:30 M-Th.)AITA for accepting the 50% pay cut with no benefits, insurance, 401k, etc. just because I want to get out of my current job? I feel like I’ve been applying, interviewing, and always getting that rejection email. This job seems like my only way out of all the stress I’m feeling right now.",AITA for taking a 50% pay cut to leave a toxic work environment?,NTA
10ygmbe,"I (24) moved in with my grandma (60) from my parents house a few months ago because my work changed locations to her city and it just made sense accommodation wise. She is planning on selling her current house and buying a new one out of the city. She offered me to move in with her, in which we’d split the payments. I was planning on buying my own place closer to the end of the year, which has always been my plan, even before I moved in with her. She doesn’t like the fact that I don’t want to move into the prospective house with her, thinks I’ll regret it later and that I’m missing out on a great opportunity, since half of the down payment and mortgage would be covered by her. I can understand why she’d want someone to move in with her since she is getting older, but she has kids who were offering her a place in their home if she wanted it. There’s also other family members living in this current house now, so I wouldn’t see why she wouldn’t want to bring them with her since I’m not interested. At my age, I think it’s reasonable to want to live life on my own for a bit, but I’m just wondering if I’m being young and dumb by not taking the opportunity.",AITA for not wanting to move in with my grandmother?,NTA
10y9vjn,"I (28f) am expecting our second child next month. My mom (62) and dad (63) offered to watch my son (16mon) while I deliver and recover from the birth. We live a 12-hour drive away from one another so they’d be staying at my house for the duration of their time here. The issue I’m having is that my mom insists on bringing their dog (medium/sized yellow lab) since she feels 2-weeks away is too long with a sitter. Normally, I’d have no issue with this. However, the dog has crippling anxiety that my parents don’t seem to properly treat. If they leave the house and/or he hears a slight noise, he will bark incessantly. When anxious, he will cower in a ball and shake. He was rescued at 2-years old and my parents were told he suffered trauma earlier on in his life. My parents brought him here one other time and it resulted in my son, (8mon) at the time, getting nipped on the cheek. I understand it isn’t his fault, but when that anxious and in an unfamiliar environment, a dog can be unpredictable. So, because of this (this is where I may be the AH) I told my mom that I’d rather him not be here at all but if he must, his anxiety needs to be controlled with meds. She got mad and said “this is what happens when you have a dog, you can’t just pick up and travel, he will be better this time.”. I explained to her that she can’t assume this especially since it’s happened before. It’s just negligent to me. Realistically, we can absolutely keep them separated and keep an eye on them, but an accident can happen too quickly. I may have hurt herfeelings when I told her “having you guys here at the point is causing me more stress than if you weren’t here”. They offered, I don’t necessarily need the help as I have my husband here but I didn’t want to deny them their chance to meet their grandson. I’m just so anxious. I’m stressed about noise from the barking, and the risk posed to my son. I don’t want to bring my newborn into a stressful environment. AITA for telling my mom she needs to medicate her dog  or he can’t be at my house?",AITA for telling my mom she needs to medicate her dog or he can’t be at my house?,NTA
10yg7if,"I (18f) recently started dating my first girlfriend (16f). We’re both in high school still and have liked each other for years. We were on FaceTime together and were texting almost everyone we knew to tell them the news. She even carried the phone around her house as she told her siblings and parents about us. However, I didn’t do the same thing. The only person from my family I told was my older sister. The reason for this is because my parents and brother have been blatantly homophobic. The only reason I came out to my parents was because I was scared my brother would out me (he tried and failed twice in the past). The reaction was not great. I’m completely out but when I’m at home I try not to talk about my being a lesbian around my parents because I know they make awful “jokes” and give me dirty looks. At one point they told me that my hanging pride flag was just something i did to piss them off. I know that in their minds they’ve convinced themselves I’m not actually into women (my mom has started asking me about boys when she never used to before) and my dad always mentions my “future husband” and children.My sister told my brother about me and my girlfriend after I told her and let me know that she did. She’s very supportive but doesn’t entirely grasp the concept of his homophobia or how it affects me. The other night my brother and I saw each other in the driveway (I was coming home he was leaving) and he mentioned my new relationship. He told me that I needed to tell our parents and that it would be fine for a few weeks but a stable and healthy relationship depends on my parents knowing. I told him I agreed to end the conversation (as most of our conversations go, I don’t like talking to him very much. He’s has directly opposite views as I do and always gaslights me when I try to speak my mind) and and went into the house. I laughed to myself because the last time he was a relationship was 6 years ago and she broke up with him before he had a chance to tell out parents. Still though, it got me thinking that maybe I should tell them. When they found out about my sisters then boyfriend then were pissed that she didn’t tell them and yelled at her. I don’t want that kind of reaction and I especially don’t want them to gaslight and guilt me, telling me that they would have been supportive and shit like that. Also my parents have been very mad at me lately and I don’t want this to be the cause of any more issues with them. So AITA for keeping my relationship a secret from them?",AITA for not telling my parents about my relationship?,NTA
10yg4w0,"I am 25y and my sister is 21y. My sister is battling an eating disorder and she waited MONTHS to finally get accepted Into this specialized program and she is finding the help she needs there. There are alot of rules for the patients. I don't know very many but I do know they are not allowed to leave the ward unless accompanied by a nurse and they are not allowed to have a vape pen. Patients are allowed to be discharged whenever they want but it could be months before getting re accepted. They do allow visitors but only during certain time periods. One of friends I believe brought her a vape pen and she had it for a few days before she got caught by a nurse and they confiscated it. She asked if I could bring her a new one and I said no. Earlier today she had already asked if I could visit and take some of her laundry home to do since the wards washer machine was broken so I was about to leave the house and be on my way. I told her I was going to end the call and I would see her soon. 5 min later she texted me to not worry about it and that she was discharging herself since she could not deal with withdrawal from vaping. I read this and tried calling her immediately. I did not hear from her untill after visiting hours were over so I decided to not leave the house. I texted our father about the whole thing while waiting to hear back from her. When she did call me back she was crying and very upset and she missed home. She said that she had a long conversation with the nurses and doctor and she is not leaving tonightBoth me and our father are very worried about her and want to see her get the help she needs. I have hold her that I would stop by afterwork to give her the allowed items she had requested and to pick up her laundry. I have no problem doing the extra. But, aita for not sneaking in a vape pen?",AITA for not sneaking my sister's vape into the hospital,NTA
10ya6f1,"So, my guy and I are living together for almost a year. When we first move together, he didn't have a job and I was OK with that.He got a job 2 months ago and I told him that we needed to split bills because he could help us now with some money. I know he's not making as much as me and that I could bear our expenses, but I just want him to have some responsibilities. I don't care if it's not much, but I don't want to feel like an ATM.",AITA for asking my guy to help me pay bills?,NTA
10yfyih,"Hello, I’m 30M and my mother is 60F. To start the story, my family is not financially stable all around. My mother who born in Korea back in 60’s had living in poverty and situations were not better even her adulthood. Even after divorce with my father when I was 13. She did not abandon us and be there for my sister and me.This February is my mother’s 60th birthday. In my home country this is great deal. Issue is that I got a new job back in January after got a car accident. ( I’m fine, had to go through L&I), new job has perk but there is also seasonal down time that I don’t work full 40 hours. Today my mother call me and asking about paying the dinner as my whole family will be going to buffet for celebrate her birthday, I told her that I have to check the paycheck next day as I mean I gotta eat and pay. Suddenly she hangs up the call, starting to ignore my call. When she finally answer after 3 tries. She were upset that how I cannot pay for the dinner and trying to mooching of my sister, I told her that I didn’t say about not paying, I’m just telling her that I have to check my paycheck, then she telling about how my poor my finances and telling me that don’t even bother come to dinner, I’m just dumbfounded right now what the hell is going on, so tell me guys AITA?Update 1: Me and My Mother just had huge fight. She telling me that my spending habit brought me here and she is sick and tired of hearing me and my sister saying no money and even saying that I spend so much on buying stuff on Amazon and other online shop ( I do admit that I like buying stuff on online but most of stuff I been bought was basically essential items under $50), I told her that I can explain where all the money has been spend on but she is just upset and hang up even I told her not to hang up. Honestly I wanna cry right now but I still want my mom to be happy as for fucksake it is her birthday, I will try to see her after work. Thanks for all the comments, I will keep you guys update if anything happens",AITA for telling my mother about current financial situation?,NTA
10y9u3z,"So the basic run down of the situation is as follows. I live with my wife, her brother, and his girlfriend. I work 35 to 45 hours a week most weeks, monday to friday in the afternoon into the evening. Typically everyone else stays home to handle housework, up until recently when my brother-in-law's girlfriend got a job to help out with the bills. This is fine for the most part, but it does lead me to some schedule issues and a lot of stress.Since I work afternoon and evenings, I can't really do anything during the weekdays themselves, so my only solid free time for something other than videogames after work is on the weekends. However, this is where the problem lies. We used to have things set up so that we would have an alternating roleplaying game in the afternoons on Saturdays, and then another game every alternating Sunday. However, recently my brother in law has started insisting that the Sundays we DON'T play our game we play a board game (always the one he wants), as a ""family day"" where we do things together. However, this has meant I have no day during the week where I'm not obligated to do something, and it's leading to a lot of stress build up for me. And since I'm autistic, it's hard for me to see if I'm just being selfish or not. I've been wanting to tell everyone that I want to skip a week or maybe just drop out of a game, but I'm worried about being a jerk. So am I wrong for just wanting a day without feeling forced into playing tabletop or doing something? A day where I can just relax and go do things with someone who isn't directly living with me?","WIBTA for simply wanting some ""me time""?",NTA
10yflj3,"I (36f) recently had seriously bad dip in my health, that has, unfortunately, resulted on me in hospital on palliative care (doctors even said could be 6 months, may not be able to leave hospital to spend last days at home - DNR to be signed because my heart and lungs are too weak even if I was resected would probably only live about 3 days on machines).My Uncle (\~50M) had gotten into a conflict with my mother as my Grandmother was dying in hospital (as many siblings would because everyone was on an emotional rollercoaster and she had rapid onset dementia). After my Grandmother passed, my uncle because putting my mom on blast on Facebook, took over the Facebook my Grandparents had together to Facechat with family in Italy. And created an Instagram profile under my Grandfathers name. At that time my Grandfather said he did NOT want any social media accounts. He shared one with his wife, and now he's done.Uncle began private messaging my sister about our mom, but she asked to be kept out of the situation because it's important for them to resolve this issue as adults. He then blocked my sister, and started sending me texts and Facebook messages telling me how terrible my sister is. He would even create group discussions with her brother in law, her husband, and me to talk about how terrible my mom and sister are.I asked to not be a part of it because I was emotionally drained from losing my Grandmother who I was very close with all my life. I felt heart broken at the time, and lost, especially because disagreements fueled by anger and confusion and sadness of what was happening resulted in me losing a relationship with my Uncle, and in tune, my Grandfather.My uncle then blocked us all from my  Grandfather's house phone and cellphone a and his own cellphone and house phone. The only way we can get a hold of him is to call his caregiver and hope she is with him at the moment. He also added an Apple Tag to my Grandfather's keys so he can monitor where he is at all times.I have been documenting my journey in the hospital to keep a record of my highs and lows, and really just genuinely show what I am going through. Uncle has liked posts under his personal account, and my Grandfathers Instagram, which hurt more because he knew from the beginning I was in the hospital and didn't share this news with my Grandfather. I posted on my Grandfather's Facebook profile with high emotions  begging to please see my Grandfather because it's been so long and I want a chance to say goodbye, . I did this knowing my Uncle would see it as he runs this profile. Instead he deleted the post and removed me as a friend from my Grandfather's profile so I can't message or do anything. I sent him a message begging again, and this resulted in being blocked.AITA for making this post and continuously messaging him trying to get to see him? Or am I being too overdramatic?",AITA for posting on Facebook begging my Uncle to see my Grandfather,NTA
10yf0ty," I (19 F, about to be 20) got my license at age 18 during my first year at university. I actually got my license a couple days before my chem final and my grades definitely suffered as a result ( due to all the extra driving practice). I only did the drivers test b/c of all the implied pressure my parents, in particular my mom, put on me. Some of my friends went, did their test, and passed. My mom tends to fall victim to FOMO and completely lost her shit and had me do the test. I passed on my first try and b/c she didn't pass on her first try, paraded me and my driving test result around to all her friends and family.Fast forward, I'm now halfway through second year and don't drive except to get coffee. My mom is psychotically afraid of me driving. Which is ironic b/c I passed my test in terrible winter conditions (all other driving centers had closed that day due to weather). Sometimes, due to late meetings I have huge gaps in my schedule and b/c I only live \~10-15 minutes from campus it would be more feasible for me to go home and then come back later for the meetings rather than wait 3+ hours (even if I study).However, due to my moms paranoia, my dad picks me up from university EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. He drives me to and from home to and from university. Mind you, our family is privileged enough to own two cars and both my parents work from home. All day, the two cars just sit in our driveway.My dad has historically insisted and persuaded me to avoid taking the bus or even simply picking up my university-issued bus pass b/c 'he can always drive me.' However recently, my dad has now told me I either wait 2-5 hours on campus (until my meeting) or I take the bus (we have a 24 hr issuing time for bus passes, so I can't take the bus). I would take the bus, but like I said I live \~10-15 mins away from campus and due to the 2020 lockdown, many bus routes in my area were cut. As a result the 10-15 minute ride is anywhere from 40 mins - 1hr one way on the bus. So I would rather stay on campus and study. But my entire motive to even come to this university was the close distance. I would be much more effectively using my time if I could just take the car and come and go according to my own schedule rather than having to consult with my parents' work schedule (we would even be saving gas).I am very open on my thoughts on this with my parents but even though I'm almost 20, they disregard any of my points, and use their paranoia as 'oh but we just care more than most parents do about their children' or 'kids your age who drive do it out of necessity.' I have the need to drive, we have the cars for me to do it, I really don't get their point. It's disgusting. My dad even likes to imply how much of a burden driving me is, which is ironic. I'm even willing to grab a job, if anything I'm openly searching for a job so I can pay any parking related fees on campus.AITA for wanting to take the car or saying I have a right to?",AITA for wanting a car?,YTA
10yd10l,"Hi everyone, my girlfriend is absolutely convinced I'm in the wrong and I was wondering if there was something I was missing?Myself (20F) and my girlfriend Cara (also 20F) went shopping a few days ago - she has an upcoming trip and I need some formal clothes for a job interview coming up. It was getting late and we barely bought anything so we headed to H&M as a last resort because we figured there would be at least something good. We were right - there was a gorgeous pair of black pleated trousers which Cara got to first. She said they looked good but was on the fence about buying them immediately. She put them back and went to another area of the shop to continue looking. Because I also liked them (I voiced my opinion that I did when she showed me) and we were running low on time, I picked them out in my size and bought them. I couldn't find Cara and did not realise she had gone to buy them while I was looking at blouses which caught my eye by the checkout. I ended up buying a couple blouses and a blazer after too, and placed them on top of the trousers in my bag, not thinking anything of it.I was really excited to show her what I'd bought when we got home and showed her my haul. Immediately, she was annoyed and asked why I purposely bought those trousers when she'd told me before she doesn't like matching outfits. I was confused because a) I was not aware she'd gone back to buy them, b) we've talked about co-ordinating outfits before and I know she isn't a fan and c) they're formal and would be perfect for my interview and I wouldn't be wearing them for any other things (I prefer wearing dresses for formal dates and occasions anyway). I told her the reasons above and then offered to return them because of the misunderstanding but she told me that wasn't the point and I was being sneaky by deliberately putting them under clothes but I also pointed out that I bought more things so it was natural they wouldn't be on the top.I don't think I did anything wrong by purchasing those trousers. My interview is in a few days and really need some formal trousers to wear and she's listened to my frustrations about not being able to find anything that fits me properly length-wise and waist-wise which I also like the style of. I also offered to return them since I still had the receipt but she didn't want me to do that either because ""it wasn't the point"". So AITA?",AITA for buying the same trousers as my girlfriend?,NTA
10yheiw,"I feel bad. So my brother and I both live with our parents (we’re both in college, he has a break and i have an internship) anyways my bed is right above the Laundry room and the noise is awful. I heard the laundry starting at 12:15am yesterday and went down and turned it off. Then I heard it back on again, I went out of my room and my brother said he needs to dry his clothing. I told him it 12:30am and it’s late and I turned it off. However I feel really bad now and wonder if I should just have let him use it. He said he needs to dry his clothing but I was like “you had all day. I was annoyed since I have my internship to go to and need to sleep but I also feel bad for him.  AITA?1) what action you took that should be judged: I turned off the dryer that still had all this clothing in that were fully wet and those were all his main clothing 2) why that action might make you the asshole: should I have just let it slide and let the dryer run and waited it out, did I react too harshly",AITA for turning off the laundry at 12:30am?,NTA
10yharr,"My, (35f) best friend is currently living with me(30f) and my husband (30M). She recently just got to this city and of course I told her she could live with us, she was going through a financial situation and we covered for her food and expenses for a month while she got herself together and was able to pay for her stuff. Even tho she pays half the rent of our place we usually don’t ask for her money when it comes to groceries or Ubers/gas to go to work since my husband usually pick us up and drives us there half most of the days. 
Keep in mind that right now all three of us are living in a place that we don’t really like and feel comfortable with and when she moved in we had agreed that we we’re going to look for something else for the three of us and share expenses until she was able to do it on her own. 
After a couple weeks she started dating this guy and I feel like everything went downhill from there. Suddenly, everything my husband says and does is just annoying and immature. She just sticks to herself and doesn’t come out of her room, and 5 out of 7 days a week her guy is in our place visiting, staying the night or hanging out with her which was not a problem. My husband and I, don’t have couple friends so whenever her and I are doing something and both of our partners show up, he tries to make small talk and conversation so we can all be together and hang out. Well, her guy usually just deviates her attention to him and distracts her from whatever we are saying or doing even tho she tries to keep up with the conversation it’s inevitable that after some while of him not engaging and just talking to her, she just ignores us too. 



It's been weeks  and I started feeling like something was up, so when she was not paying attention I took her phone and checked out her chats with this guy and found out that she hates living with us, has already texted everyone not to live with friends talks shit about my husband and  in her words “tries not to engage” in conversations even tho he picks both of us from work and takes both of us usually to eat afterwards on his own accord and paying for everything she stills finds it inconvenient because she doesn’t know what time she’ll be home to the point of her texting him how’s she’s so ready to move out of here and such but “putting up with it for at least a year because she can’t afford going anywhere else”. He usually makes small talk on our way home like “how was work?Did you have a nice day?” And  she just answers with “it was okay, yeah, idk” and with each answer her voice gets lower to the point of not even being able to hear her so he just stops asking

At first, I felt guilty about reading her conversations but after all I’ve found out I’m just angry and feel completely used and disregarded. 

Checking her phone was just a reassurance to what I had been feeling all this time and it’s painful and sad how she could  disrespect our relationship and our friendship that way.  Even if it wasn’t to our faces",AITA for checking my best fiend's phone chats without her knowing?,YTA
10yctaj,"AITA So (24F)Lily got into with a coworker (34?)Priscilla(she a new hire) we work as front desk agent as a hotel my first shift with her I thought she was alright until evening happened she decided to be rude and snarking to me for 2 hrs I will admit I got upset and try to talk with her about it (like hey can you please don't talk to me like that) she decided after that to cuss and scream at me and we got in a argument in the back(luckily we didn't have no guest around at the time 😔😨) I got sick of it and told her to leave me alone, I was going to call our manager but she beat me to the punch and I decided to wait until she was done,my manger Drew call me asking me what this about drinking on the job(I ask what you taking about) long story short she lied and made false allegations about me, we also have cameras in the ""office"" area also I did not drink on the job, mangers know that she was lying but haven't done any discipline actions to her, for about 2 weeks we haven't had shifts together but another manger Josh told me I was being childish and immature for not wanting to work with her,  I saw the schedule for next weekend I supposed to work with her, I told my boss multiple times I don't feel comfortable working with her, and he been ignoring my feelings",AITA for not wanting to work a shift with a coworker?,NTA
10ygrm2,"my (M15) friend (F17) was on a call with a few friends. Her boyfriend happened to be in the call with us. For privacy reasons we will him, Red. I have been in calls with them before along with my friend, Chad (M14). We are all friends. Today, I realized Red sounded awfully familiar. After a few hours of being on call, it finally clicked and I realized he sounded like the YouTube Dream. Of course that was too funny to keep to myself. I told him on the call which he immediately refused. However, my friend Chad agreed. We went back and fourth with Red disagreeing and Chad and I laughing. Every word he said, sounded more similar to Dream. This went back and fourth for several minutes. I assumed it was all giggles. I couldn’t stop laughing until tears started building up in my eyes. Eventually, the girlfriend left the call, saying she was uncomfortable. Now, I thought it was still jokes and Chad and I giggled on call for several minutes. However neither of them are responding. So AITA?",AITA for saying my friends boyfriend sounds like Dream.,YTA
10ye1hk,"English is not my first language, sorry for the mistakes.EDIT: I made a mistake. She asked me to take care of them on Saturday two days ago (it's Wednesday rn and I answered today). Some think it's a 3 hour travel. It's not. It's a 1 hour travel.She has borderline personality disorder. I'm trying to find the way to talk to her without making her feel bad, but it's really hard for me.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------My (17F) sister (40F) said she would pay me $10 to take care of her cats only for tomorrow since she won't be at home.I had to do the same with my older brother for 7 days and I really hated it. His cat was really aggressive and it was kinda tiring. Her cats are the opposite but the problem is: She lives one hour and a half far from my home. I don't have a car and I have to use the public transportation (which is not really good)I said I can't. She got mad and said I should be a better person. Then she sent a sticker that said ""I'm emotional rn I'll come later""I understand she's frustrated because I'm the only one available but I don't wanna go over there. I suggested her to add more food to their plates and other things.AITA?",AITA for not taking care of my sister's cats,NTA
10ydx3q,"I'll try to keep it concise. On mobile. Went to a friend's for a get together. Chatted up with a girl. We ended up hooking up in the basement on the couch.During the dead, when she climaxed she squirted. A lot. All over the couch.The next morning we told the host what happened and they understood, but asked that we paid to get the couch professionally cleaned. Fair ask, imo.I paid a company, it was done.I sent a venmo request to the girl for half the amount of the cleaning, thinking it was fair. We engaged in the act together, pay for it together.She asked why should she pay half and I explained a as much. She said, I made her squirt, and such is my fault, and I should pay for it all. And that it was involuntary, caused by me. Which....i guess... Technically true.Aita for thinking she pays half? Or is it on me?Edit:I think I'm getting replies to my replies, but I don't know how to use this app too add another reply. I'm trying. Medium time lurker on my work computer but I don't sign in, so this is new",AITA NSFW couch cleaning,NTA
10ydv4w,"I’m at work and my coworker is taking an order on front counter. Part of the order is “Caramel Frappe” which was worded as “Caramel Frappuccino”. [My coworker] hears it as “Caramel Cappuccino”. I read those words sensing something suspicious. I had to step in to confirm whether it was a frappe or a cappuccino. It indeed was a frappe. I did it to make sure a 1-800 complaint was avoided. Thanks to her limited English, her lack of understanding of English does lead to 1-800 complaints. To specify what a 1-800 complaint means, it’s a corporate complaint customers make.Three minutes later, she approaches me, and instead of thanking me for helping her, she told me off saying she would write me up, which I don’t know whether she’ll do or not. I explained the difficulty of even me understanding whether they wanted that cappuccino or Frappuccino, but she was dismissive.I wanna know from you guys, AITA because I did what I did?",AITA for intervening just to be sure I gave my customer what she wanted?,NTA
10ygdlg,"So I'm in a Facebook group for historical information about my hometown. It's awesome to see cool old photos of buildings, stores, schools, etc alongside current photos of the town. I haven't been there in ages, it's awesome to see that stuff.There are folks who post current photos of the city, especially in a juxtaposition to an older photo of how it looked years ago. I love seeing this stuff, it's great to see the city as it was versus how it is now.However. There's this one guy who rides all over town taking photos. LOVE them, because it's a current view better than Google street view. However, he ALWAYS has to pose his bicycle in the photo. Not him, just the bike.I commented about this to an acquaintance and he replied that it was just his thing and I shouldn't be an ass about it. To be fair, I have NEVER called him out in the group or said anything to anyone else. I am asking y'all based solely on the first opinion I got. I'd like to see my hometown without this stupid ass bike in every damn photo. Othwr photographers do not have the same drive. AITA?",AITA for not wanting a bicycle in every photo?,YTA
10ybe14,"my younger brother (11) misbehaves and does sneaky thing (stealing soda, snacks, not doing homework etc. he is also diabetic) anyways, my mothers husband (they have only been together 2 years) takes control, shuts my mother down etc and when he does he favorites me and constantly adds me into every conversation and i feel like a terrible sister because i don’t know how to deal with this? i don’t want him to think i don’t care because i can’t stand up for him even tho i try. my brother does cause trouble for himself but he over reacts and i think he is ruining my brothers mental health. my mother does not see it, i don’t know how i can help. also by no means am i any better then my brother, i have disrespected him serval times and skipped months of school and hidden food, soda etc but have never been through the same thing he does to my brother?",AITA? mothers husband favorites me over my brother.,NTA
10yk3pq,"This is my first reddit post and I'm on mobile, so I apologize for any mistakes. Like the title says, I told my wife I don't want her or I to drive to my in-laws to visit because they never make any effort to visit us at our home. I've lived with my wife for about 7 years and we've been married 5. We have 4 kids (the oldest 2 are my step kids). Over the 7yrs my in-laws have mainly only visited my home to see their grandkids for their birthday parties and have even missed atleast half of those, and yet they constantly nag my wife and I about missing the kids and that we don't see them often enough. I get a lot of backhanded remarks about moving my wife away from them as they used to live in the same city as well. The past few years their lack of effort has made me start to resent my in-laws because they act like it's my fault they don't get to see their grandkids even though they are perfectly capable of making an easy 30min drive, if it was truly important to them. I can literally count the times they've been to my house on my fingers, and for years we visited multiple times a month but I've been doing my best lately to avoid their place at all costs. It finally blew to a head when my in-laws started complaining on Facebook about missing the kids and how they want my wife to move back to the same city as them. For whatever reason it really pissed me off, and I told my wife I didn't want us making any more of an effort to make sure our kids see their grandparents, than the grandparents make to see our kids. She is now a little pissy because this won't effect my side of the family since they drive from just as far, and visit my kids in our home every couple of weeks ifbwe dont drive to see them instead. She somehow sees this as unfair and doesn't understand why I don't think it's our job to make sure her parents have a place in our kids lives. I think if they really cared, they would put some effort into the relationship with my family instead of putting all the responsibility of it on my wife and I. For some clarification my in-laws have recently had some medical issues that make it harder BUT not impossible for them to leave their home to visit friends/family. I don't think a newfound excuse for 7yrs of a lack of effort is reasonable, especially when it still doesnt necessarily prevent them from leaving their home. This is why I'm wondering AITA.AITA in this situation??","AITA for telling my wife I don't want our family driving to my in-laws, if they won't drive to us?",NTA
10y9p1w,"I (f19) live with my parents. I work a full time job so that I will be able to pay for schooling come the fall. Around Christmas, my work gave us dinner from a restaurant and along with that a coupon to the same restaurant. (It was a spend a certain amount and get $10 off coupon)Fast forward, I told my parents that the coupon was going to expire soon and that we should use it. My parents proceeded to use the coupon when I was working a closer (I got off of work at 11pm) and did not buy me anything.When I confronted them about using the coupon, 1. without tell me and 2. without buying me anything, my father said the coupon was about to expire. Which, it was but we could’ve used it the next day(the last day before it expired) when I wasn’t working and home for dinner. Hell, I would’ve paid for my food, I was just looking forward to ordering from this restaurant.Both of my parents see no issues with using the coupon and shut me down everytime I bring it up, saying that ‘they put a roof over my head, what does it matter if they used the coupon.’ Along with ‘it’s just a coupon, why are you upset?’Truthfully, I just wanted to have dinner with my family, we rarely sit down and eat together. I’m grateful for all my parents have done for me but them seeing no issue with using the coupon just rubbed me the wrong way. I’ve let it go for now cause it’s been a few days and they can’t really give back the coupon butAITA for being upset that they used the coupon, without even considering me?",AITA for being upset with my parents?,NTA
10yde6c,"I live in an apartment and my neighbors units and mine are connected through bathroom vents. My neighbor smokes weed in her apartment almost every night and I can smell it in my bathroom and bedroom. I’ve lived here for two years and haven’t said anything but recently her use has gotten very intense and the whole floor reeked of weed. I hate the smell of weed and it was so bad I ended up lodging a complaint. She’s toned it down since then but I can still smell her smoking in the bathroom and bedroom. Now, I wouldn’t normally say anything even though I’m bothered by it, but I am newly pregnant and as you can imagine certain smells cause extremely unpleasant reactions (migraines, nausea, etc).I really don’t want to be THAT neighbor but I can’t stand the thought of living like this for another 7+ months. Also when the baby comes, I don’t want him exposed to weed smell in the apartment. I’ll add that it’s not against building policy for residents to smoke in their apartments but they have to ventilate and can’t impact other residents. Would I be the asshole to lodge another complaint (she would get another $100 fine)? I was advised not to directly engage with neighbors and go through the super for any complaints so I can’t even go ask her to eat edibles or vape or something.",WIBTA if I reported my apartment neighbor for continued marijuana use,YTA
10y907v,"I have a Dell laptop from 2016/2017. It works perfectly well, except for the battery, which stopped working a couple years ago (now I have to use the computer plugged in). A few months ago, the battery swelled (and messed up my keyboard) so I needed to buy a replacement. Where I live, technology is pretty expensive, and the official dell replacement costs almost half of a minimum wage (I bought it on sale, so it was a slightly cheaper). I looked online how to change, but some parts seemed risky and I would need to buy a tool kit, so I chose to take it somewhere to be changed. The thing is, I don't now any tech professionals here (my family had one, but last time he worked on my computer he asked for almost double to take it home and fix the problem, did absolutely nothing to fix it and messed up the configuration), so I need to put my trust in a stranger. I was thinking of asking to watch the process, so I can see the battery I bought go in (I heard a lot of horror stories of people who work in the area switching original parts for fake ones, so they could resell the originals), but I'm afraid of offending the worker (I'm a bit more afraid of being duped, so I'm pretty sure I'll go forward with it). Just wanted to see if people think  it's a fair thing to ask or if it's out of linePS: The only reason I paid so much on the battery is because my computer really works like new  (maybe a little slower) and I want to keep it working for as long as possible. My fear was that buying a dupe might damage the computer, so that's another reason I want to be sure they use my battery.",WIBTA If I ask to watch an employee work on my computer?,NTA
10yj4sr,"I was taking a online class (masters degree in environmental sciences ) while I was talking to my brother which I haven’t seen in a long time. His gf came by, I started to talk to her and I accidentally muted myself by pressing on my AirPods I think. I talked to her about the class and I told her “ I like the class but the professor is boring”, the professor later asked me “if the class is so boring you can drop from the class if you want”. I was shocked and frozen for a while and said sorry. The professor later told me that if I’m busy I should get out of the zoom meeting, which I did. I ended up writing a email saying sorry and that I was distracted with my family. This situation has been stuck in my head and causing me serious anxiety. I’m really worried the professor is going to take it with me and I won’t do well in my class and it may affect my grades. Also I’m so embarrassed, I take 2 classes with the same professor. I don’t want to see or talk to him. This is seriously a nightmare come true. Earlier today the professor answered my email telling me I’m a disrespectful person and some other things that were a bit hurtful like I should reconsider doing the degree and possibly dropping from it. I need some advice on my situation. What do some of you think?TL;DR: I accidentally unmuted myself on a zoom class and called my professor boring on a masters degree course.",AITA accidentally unmuted myself on a zoom class and called my professor boring?,YTA
10ycc7b,"recently my girlfriend and i saved up our money to have a tree cut down, with logs being cut to firewood size. her sister's husband calls the tree service (who later called me to make sure i knew who was asking for it) to ask if he could have wood, and I let the guy know to tell him I said ""sure you can have SOME of the wood"" fast forward a few days and a little more than ""some"" was taken. later that day i sarcastically asked if he had got the wood he needs (hinting that he had taken a lot) and he said yes. a few more days went buy and at least 85% is gone, which leads me to believe he's either taking advantage, letting others go on our property to take it. now normally I wouldn't care but since he didn't even ask me up front or let me know he was going to continue to take more, my only course of action was to make a sign that stated ""that's enough wood (: don't take anymore""  ya know being funny but serious. (i also put debris in the remainder of the pile, in case it's thieves, gonna make em work for the wood lol since we've already had to deal with trespassing and break ins) now me and my girlfriend are dealing with them, complaining that we're ""accusing them of stealing"" and trying to make us seem like we're the bad guys. AITA?",AITA for putting up a sign on my property?,NTA
10yix4h,"Backstory:so I have the “friend” she is quite a new friend to me but we hang out for a bit then one day we went to the toilet stalls in our school bathroom and saw vape packaging. The friend (new) went go tell the teacher on duty on the day and dragged two of my old friends with her to tell the teacher. One day later on discord one of the friends she dragged told me that “I don’t want you to tell the friend about me because I’m scared I’m gonna get hurt” or something along that line so I agree with them and that day I only say that person’s name once or twice, so I’m like “ok I did it”. Yesterday that same friend is playing with her and chasing her around after she told me not to tell that new friend about them.I feel like that their the asshole but I feel like I something about that they’ll just say “I just got over it” or “why are you bring it up?” I talked to a friend I can trust about and they agreed with me but I don’t know who’s the asshole in this. Am I the asshole?",AITA? My friend thing about my new “friend”,YTA
10yc4kq,"Me and my bf got into an argument about his reaction to me having a nightmare he cheated. There were other issues on other nights that all kind of led to this.Id like to start off by saying, I was not mad at my bf because of the nightmare, it wasnt real and he didnt cheat. I am however hurt by his reaction.We had a nice wake up in morning, fooled around a little + were really happy cuddling after. I debated telling him about the nightmare + decided why not. I explained what happened, he asked ""what they looked like"". I was shocked + got upset about this as I didnt understand why he'd ever ask that. I tried to talk to him how I found that hurtful + that it had me feeling insecure and he said ""it's just a nightmare, whys it a big deal, I was just curious"". (He said later that day he was curious if it was an alien, devil or such...vivid imagination) We argued for a while even on our way to lunch to where he said ""I'll watch what I'm doing in future cause I need to remember you're sensitive + over react "" and doubled down on this multiple times since, he truly sees me like this, cause I brought up these issues also:The night before he had goggled at + exclaimed ""oh damn...who's ____"" at a girls profile on Instagram (she had big boobs and looked hot) right in front of me also. We also argued about this. He feels its an involuntarily reaction he had + he can't help that. I felt disrespect af. We had also been at a gig just the night before that, we had argued due to him complimenting a random girls hair, feet size (small) and making effort to talk to her (she was there alone, which he had learned while talking to her as I was in the bathroom, so Im trying to be like ""he's just friendly it's okay""), he did introduce me as his girlfriend + tell her I liked her style. Its so hard cause it feels like the boundaries are being pushed cause I felt he was so focused on everyone else instead of just us when it was a night for us. He was super sweet at points on this night too and we were laughing, dancing and cuddling to the music. But even she said she was unsure when he approached her, + questioned if I'd be okay with it or if I was just a ""cool gf"" + how she would have been pissed had it been her bf (we had chatted more into the night and I drove her home to be nice which is when she said this). My bf concentrated on her saying I was a ""cool gf"" + thinks it's a good thing.This is where I think I could be the asshole.He believes if I was more confident I wouldn't be affected by this, but I feel like these things are knocking my confidence down. his feelings are valid + so are mine but I'm so confused, cause how can I ask him to not do these things or keep boundaries without being controlling + how can both of us respect eachothers feelings + still come to compromise :( but back to the point AITA for this.Edit : he did mention later he had complimented some guys at the gig too (shirt design and muscles) but I hadn't seen that.","AITA (F25)for being hurt and saying my bf(M30) disrespected me when I told him I had a nightmare he cheated + he asked ""what'd she look like""",NTA
10yeqhu,"Sometimes my girlfriend doesn’t want to talk about something right away that’s bothering her, and usually out of the blue brings it up later, so I am usually expecting her to communicate something, and try and see it from her point of view.So we had a good day, I was at work, she was at school, we texted a lot, but when I got home, I crashed, and woke up to her calling for the Netflix login info, I know she’s had a problem with my tone and attitude before (which I’m trying to fix) and typically everyone sounds irritated when they wake up, so I text her the info and receive a “Fuck you” a few minutes later, I have the typical “?” response and get the middle finger emoji.Cue a bunch of lost calls and texting “What’s wrong?” and giving up until she calls me almost an hour later, I’m clearly upset by it and she has no idea what I’m talking about, saying she’s not near her phone (she wears headphones a lot so I take her word for it) and when she checks her phone, all she can say is “Oh that was probably one of my friends.” And the lost calls were because she was in a bad reception part of campus. Now I usually can tell when she’s bluffing and I’m really upset she just casually shrugged the message off despite me stressing over it.I tell her I want to get off the phone and she’s upset because I don’t want to talk. I just think it’s such a strange coincidence, especially because the texts were being read. I don’t know what to do, she’s saying she doesn’t like my response to this. Am I the asshole?",AITA for hanging up on my (21M) girlfriend (18F),NTA
10yhzwp,"My dad and I work in different cities. He is around 60 and has hypertension, diabetes, etc. I feel so overprotective of my mom that I asked her to stay with me in the city I am working in. My dad is also ok with that arrangement. But now I am worried about his health.",AITA for wanting mom to stay with me away from dad?,NAH
10ydfv2,"Some backstory - one of my family friends does adult content. Not an issue. My issue was I found out she does very risky exhibitionism. At this point I'm a little iffy - I could be on the background of a porno on my happiest day. Then I keep scrolling and see she does unsolicited exhibitionism with online games. This was the line for me. She could be exposing herself to kids and she finds it funny.So I didn't invite her to my wedding. This is NOT the AITA part. I don't give a fuck if you think I'm an asshole for that.The adult worker has a strong history of getting her way into weddings by being the +1 of other family friends, or beg to take someone else's spot. I didn't want to explain to people I didn't want the adult worker at my wedding because no one knew she was an adult worker, let alone the stuff she did as one.So instead of explaining to all our friends all of that... I just didn't invite any of them. To avoid any possibility of her weaseling her way in somehow and having some terrible awkward conversation. It just sucks because I would have liked everyone else to come. And adult worker is such a shut in normally - she won't come to any birthdays or small get togethers, even if they're on her residence! But she'll come to every wedding and big family reunion even when not invited. It just sucks that it ended up this way.TL;DR - AITA for not inviting all my family friends to avoid one person coming?",AITA for not inviting my friends to my wedding to avoid one person?,NTA
10yhigf,"I am a 2nd year university student with 3 friends who are all Mexican. I am not Mexican. I do speak a very good amount of Spanish but because I did not grow up with the culture conversation can be hard for me. My friends are bilingual. Their English is very good as they have been living in the states for several years. At first, they barely spoke Spanish around me. Now I notice that 2 of them are doing it all the time even w me around. The third friend has told me that this is rude bc they are capable of speaking English and they know I have a hard time understanding Spanish and that they are purposefully trying to not include me.  I don’t want to be a rude American that says “speak English!!!” I get that this is their first language but it seems as if they are doing this bc they want to talk ab me. They even told me that when they switch to Spanish it is because they want to talk shit. I wanna know am I rude to think they shouldn’t exclude me like this ?",AITA for thinking my friends are talking ab me in another language?,NTA
10yh272,"Some background :I (30f) decided the new year I was going to start a vending machine business. The first week of January we acquired our first machine and immediately after we were ready for our 2nd machine. We came across a website that we could easily buy another refurbished machine, so we decided to go ahead and jump on it and make the purchase. This was the second week of January. This website sells refurbished machines and they let us know that we would receive our order in about 2 weeks. I  then found a location, which you’re actually supposed to find a location first but that’s besides the point. I let our new location know that we would be ready in about 2 weeks that I would have it there as soon as they deliver it. In the meantime it’s about a month down the road and the company has pushed our order out for about 2 more weeks. We have been really patient and honestly haven’t really said much. They claimed one, it was because they had a vacation , and two it was snowing, which is perfectly expected around this time of year. Throughout the almost month and a few days of our first interaction we have purchased 9 more machines. We have learned more about them and have come to the conclusion that we no longer wanted the refurbished machine that we had originally bought because it just wasn’t a brand that would work for us. When we texted him to let him know we would like to cancel the order, he claimed it was the day before he was going to deliver it and that he could not cancel the order because he had already bought the parts to refurbish it, so I would have to pay for the refurbished parts and he would then send me a check for the remainder of the machine. Am I the asshole to think that this is wrong ?  He then told me that if it wasn’t for me he wouldn’t have refurbished the machine. Any tips or advice ? I am open to listening.",AITA for cancelling an order the day before it shipped ?,NTA
10yccit,"Mom told me to wash dishes. I haven't been productive yesterday and rejected two social events just to stay at home and do work today. I said I will be using the dishwasher I bought. My mom tells me to wash the dishes with my hands because she doesn't the water and electricity to be wasted. My parents plan on only using the dishwasher twice per year on new years. I don't get it, if they're going to do this then why have this dishwasher in the first place??? I said I'm going to use the dishwasher that I bought. I bought it for convenience and to save time so now I will use it for those purposes. I'm not going to buy a $600 dishwasher and not use it. My mom said she won't be picking me up from the gym anymore if I don't do the dishes with my hands today. That would cause me to waste probably 45 min to an hour every day waiting for and taking the bus. I told her fuck you. It ended up working out for me because now I'll be using the makeshift treadmill at home instead of going to the gym but yeah. AITA?",AITA for not washing dishes?,ESH
10ygiuf,"I (16 non-binary) have a dad (39 m) that is christian while I am wiccan. A rule in the house is I and my brother (18 m) have to go to church every Wednesday in a previous conversation I have told him I am uncomfortable in going as going makes me feel as Though I man going against the religion. Fast forward to today I asked if he could get me a lighter and some new incense for my alters he denied getting them. When he got home and i ask him if he had an issue with my religion as this is not the first time he has acted weirdly about my religion, he said he would support me in many things but not in my religion. My sister (21) said what he is doing is discriminatory But my dad thinks as he is the adult I should do as he says. So AITA for not conforming to my dad’s religion?Edit: some people have put up a good point about getting a job unfortunately I can’t get a job as I am unable to stand for periods of time due to health issues and normally I would not have an issue with my dad not getting me my religious items but he does get them for other people just not me. The main issue is him forcing me to go to church, he overall makes faces, dismisses, and calls my religion fake.Also my brother is an adult and is required to go to church when he to does not believe in it as well.",AITA for not conforming to my dad’s religion?,NTA
10yb5xu,"My sister (20) recently got into an accident by scraping the side of the car against a tree, and the insurance company deemed it totaled. It used to be my parent's car, but she bought it from them at a discounted price with insurance covered. The car still works, although it has cosmetic defects because of the accident. She has also been talking about buying a new car priced at 50k but settled for a Toyota GR86 at around 36k. My dad did not budge, saying he would not help her buy a new car because of all the accidents she got into (almost three within two months of getting her license and nearly hitting a pedestrian, saying it wasn't her fault). However, my mom is softer and more willing to help. My sister asked my mom for help because she said she helped me get a Camry for school. She furthered her claim by asking why my mom always helps me and not her. She also says that many students work and study simultaneously, so I should be working while I attend university to pay off the Camry instead of being spoiled. Additionally, she said she is the one paying for the car other than the down payment my mom will be helping her out with. I told my mom not to help my sister even though she helped me for several reasons:1) The car with cosmetic defects on the side is still driveable.2) My parents recently bought a new house. Therefore, my mom cannot co-sign for her.3) My parents wanted her to attend college, but she chose to join the workforce against their wishes and brags about how she makes 60K a year.4) In addition to #3, she lives at home without paying any rent or utilities, just food and personal spending. Therefore, I wonder why she even needs my parent's help, especially when she is doing the opposite of what my parents wanted.5) I do not even think she has opened her credit card and, therefore, has no credit history. My mom said my sister told her she has a 600 credit score! (I loled) She will have to take out a loan by herself, which will do more harm to her, especially with such high interest rates. My mom also told me to haggle the price of the GR86 for her (she asked my mom to ask me to do it), so it seems she will get it.AITA for telling my mom not to help my sister buy a car even though she helped me buy one?Edit: everyone is asking how this is my business. I guess I should make it clear that she has disrespected everyone in the family. I do not want to let my parents be humiliated even further by playing goody-two-shoes to get money out of them.",AITA for telling my mom not to help my sister buy a car even though she helped me buy one?,YTA
10yaark,"To start this off I have two teddy’s that i am a little attached too, i have grizzly a pug, and pretzel one of those octopuses that can flip inside outI bring them to school every single day (I’m in secondary school) and as you could probably imagine i get bullied because of itI don’t care since I get bullied anyway, today I was sitting with my friends at lunch, we were sitting at the top of the stairs right next to the English roomWe were joking around, and lemon(fake name) took one of strawberries(also fake name) teddies bc they bring teddies to school to, and threw it down the stairs Strawberry luaghed it off and went to go pick it up, then lemon took grizzly and threw him down the stairs aswell, I luaghed a little bit aswell and went to go get him,I explained to lemon that it annoyed me and I was scared that someone would steal him so I asked them to not do it againLemon agreed with me and said they wouldn’t, but 5 minutes later they took grizzly again and started to hold him over the railingI told them not too but as soon as I stood up to get grizzly they threw him, so I yelled at themSomething close to “don’t fucking do that to him”Lemon luaghed thinking it was funny and strawberry stayed quiet I picked up grizzly and just went back to where I was sitting and went on my phone There was a awkward silence for a minute or two before lemon said sorryI accepted their apology, we were in DT that afternoon and it was time to start cleaning up, I had finished cleaning my stuff up so I went to talk to lemonThey said they didn’t understand why I was so mad earlier, i forgot what I said something about how it’s my teddy so they should touch itThey then said it was kinda funny, I did not agree I understand they may have thought the throwing him down the stairs was funny but me getting mad was not funnyI feel i may have overreacted, I know it’s just a Teddy but I do genuinely have a emotional attachment to it, the fact I named him after one of my favourite YouTubers didn’t help aswell",AITA for getting mad at my friend for throwing one of my teddy’s down the stairs,NTA
10y9vnk,"Me (16M) and my 3 other friends (17F) have a group for about 6 months. we met at school, as we were newbies and didn't have a lot of people to talk to. All 3 have many childhood traumas from having terrible parents and consider me as a support. A few months ago, two of my friends Ammy and Ashley and I noticed strange behavior from our friend Rachel (not her real name). She used to say that she had some disorders like depression and anxiety, so far so good, it's something common in a young teenager with crazy parents, but she always appeared with a new diagnosis when faced with a certain situation or she always blamed some of the traumas her for that situation, and that ended up disturbing her relationship with us and with the rest of the people in the room, so aiming at her good, my friend Ashley and I tried to talk to her about it and tell her that exposing the traumas of this way would be a problem for her, because at some point, someone was going to use that against her and that was disturbing her relationship with other people, but she said she didn't want to talk about it, that she was aware and that we were fake and we spoke badly behind her back. however I took the initiative and tried to resolve it, it happened just before the summer break. summer vacation was over and everything was normal, but on a certain day she said she wanted to talk to us, my friend ammy said she didn't feel like it (they had a previous disagreement related to the same reason). When we went to talk she ran away from us and went to talk bad about us to the other room, then she came back and said that she still wanted to talk, so in the middle of the conversation she said that she felt ignored and that she had trauma from that and that we we were terrible people and even compared Ashley's relationship with our friendship saying that it would have the same end. so AITA for pulling me away from my friend?",AITA for taking me away from my friend?,NTA
10yeqj6,I started a new account and since I spent a certain amount of money in the first few months I’m getting $200 back. We are ordering a microwave as the final purchase and my boyfriend is ordering a desk(which he wanted for a while and He will pay for it) we are buying these now because I needed to spend the last amount to qualify for the $200. So I said we should charge it to my card before the deadline. I said maybe we could use the money to pay for the microwave but then later I asked maybe if he could pay for a little bit so I could put more of the $200 towards something. He argues a lot of what I spent on that card was his money as well ( we split everything so if I payed for him on my card it would go on his tab vise versa). I Wanted him to pay maybe $35 of a $107 microwave. Am I the asshole? He’s making me feel selfish but maybe I am?,AITA for wanting my bf to pay for part of the microwave even though I’m getting cash back for my credit card?,YTA
10ydxgl,"Sorry for lousy English since this language is not my native tongue but I’m still keep improving my proficiency. This incident happened yesterday. My friend invited me to an event that gathering all the foreigners with different nationalities for language exchange. So, I agreed to attend and back to my home first for cleaning up myself due to whole day working and sweating. As I was on the train to the station, he texted me the fast food restaurant that he was at that moment, but he didn’t specify the exact location. So I take snapshot of the fast food restaurant that’s closest to station and sent to him so that I can know the exact location. However, he didn’t reply. So I assumed maybe this was the one he mentioned. As I got out from the train and rushed to the restaurant, I found he was not there. After a while, he replied and said this is wrong one, and he already left but didn’t tell where he went to. That moment, I was kinda pissed and just directly looked for the event location by myself with Google map and asking passengers in that area. As I reached the venue,  I found he was already there and chatted with a group of people. Then, I approached that group and started to have conversations with the groups, I found he was acting like he didn’t know who I am. Encountered with such response, ok fine, I chatted with other people. After 2 hours, he gave me eye expressions to leave. Ok, I followed him to leave the place. On the way back home, I accused him of being lack of consideration of others and expressed my upset the shitty way he ghosted people. However, he said he can’t text me because he was eating at that moment and being like no wrongdoings at all on him. I replied this is not the excuse that he didn’t tell the exact location for meet up and then left for happy event without informing. After that, I calmed myself down and not to talk about this anymore, then acting like usual way to talk with him. Am I being asshole for telling my anger over his action? This is not the first time I experienced this, he asked me out for dinner then didn’t tell me exact location and let me wandering around and guessing where it is, making me feel like a sucker. I know that I’m not a guy very good in such social events but I just hate the way I have to tolerate such shitty attitude to me and always try to please him without telling my inner feel. I know that he also faced many difficulties and unhappiness in job and study, I am also ok the way he made fun of me because of the stupid things I shared with , but at least being respectful to the friend that even spare private time to accompany him.",AITA Angry with the way my friend treated me.,NTA
10yddb0,"About 5 years ago, my parents bought a bulldog. I absolutely love him. Before I went to college, I would always play with him, take him on walks, etc. He grew pretty attached to me, especially when I moved away to college. I would come home on weekends and he'd just go ballistic with excitement. I eventually moved back home when COVID hit. That's when things got shaky. My parents ended up getting a divorce and they decided to take 2 dogs each (we had a french bulldog/pug mix, a jack russell, and 2 bulldogs). My mom moved into an apartment and could only take the French bulldog/pug. My dad took the remaining 3 dogs. I lived with my dad for about a year before moving out on my own with my brother.My dad asked if my brother and I wanted to take the bulldogs with us. Now, I was pretty fond of living without dogs. I've always had dogs; this was a breath of fresh air, and the responsibility seemed like a lot for me. My brother wanted the dogs, so I told him I would try to live with them for a month to see how I felt. My dad kept telling me that if I ever were to change my mind he would take the dogs back. Well, a month passed and I decided I'd be much happier without the dogs, or at least without one of them. My bulldog, Oliver, is much larger than his sister, Bluebell. He's also got really bad anxiety and it just felt like too much for me to handle. I told my dad this, but he told me that ""his lifestyle had changed"" and he doesn't want the bulldogs anymore. Turns out, his girlfriend is very allergic to them and I just found this out yesterday (after months of having the dogs).   Now it seems like I'm stuck with these dogs! I work, go to college, and have a social life to balance. On top of that, I plan on moving out of state with my gf in a couple of years for graduate school.  It seems like my only option is to rehome him as my mom refuses to take Oliver despite her now living in a house big enough for him. The dog is getting fatter and he doesn't have much space to run around outside in the yard. He isn't very friendly to other dogs due to his anxiety, so walking him has proven to be a challenge. I don't know what to do. I love the dog, but he's just too much for me at this point in my life. I wish my parents didn't throw him onto me because now it feels like I have to make this tough decision alone. My siblings are going to be upset if I rehome him and that feels awful. I just have to know if I'm an asshole for not wanting to take care of him.​Tl;dr: My dad gave a couple of bulldogs to me because his girlfriend is allergic to them. I'm very busy and don't feel ready to take on the responsibility, but nobody in my family is helping me.",AITA for wanting to rehome my dog?,NTA
10ydag8,"Dear Reddit folks, I apologize in avance for any grammar mistakes in this as english is my secund lenguage and the predictive text on my Phone corrects everything to my Mother tonge (also Im a rambler). So my GF (33F) and I (26M) have been having some frequent dissagrements lately. As a little of background, we have been togeter for about 3 months, she is trully my first serius relationship, she recently got off a serious relationship with another dude who left her without sign of any issue (at least thats what she has told me) and she is in a pretty rough place. The issue is that she keeps making comments about how maybe this thing or the other where ""the reason she Was left Last time"" and how I need to be sure I want to be with her because Im ""too young and lacking experience"" and Will end up meeting someone else and Will leave her too. At the begining I Just tryied to reasure her Im sure what I want and everything but today we had an argument via Phone after I got off work. The discussion was about how she isnt responsible enough  (she is Still in college and working part time, she lives alone, while I work a full job 7 to 5 and still live at my moms house, she almost daily tell me she doesnt want to go to work and I worry for her Bills), she told me about how I needed to think trough if this is what i want if not to call it quits before we get more involved and honestly I got feed up and told her that maybe I needed to think about it and we where about to call it quits but I told her we need to sit and talk about everything. I feel like a jerk because I like her  so much but everyday I see more ways in which we are so different (I dont like to get late to anything, i go to sleep too early,  I like to return to my moms before midnight, I dont like to arrive late or miss work)...And as Im writing this she Just sent me a voice note telling me that this isnt going to work, we Will talk later on the Phone. AITA?",AITA for beggining to losse my patience with my GF?,NAH
10yd2iv,"I (20Nb) was in my room relaxing with my boyfriend and Hades, when my mom called because she completely forgot she had to take my Mimaw to an oncology appointment. She called and asked me to stay home until my sister Lex (31) got home from work. **My oldest brother Ty(34) is mentally and physically disabled, my mom is his full time caretaker and is paid by the state and Lex became a part time caretaker for him within the last few years (as in there are timesheets for her too and she gets paid) and Ty is never left home alone** Ok, yeah, I can stay home, BF and I can wait to go to the grocery store. Mom had called at about 2:30, Lex typically gets home not long after that. BF wanted food so we ordered and went to the main floor (my room is in the basement) to wait and eat. I went to the bathroom, checked on Ty (he was all good and there was no sort of emergency) and then waited with my BF. A bit after food arrived Lex got home, so 3:15-3:20ish. We finished eating and Lex said « Before you go back down, Ty has been screaming » he hadn’t been before she got home, and even if he had I’d check on him, but sometimes he just yells. So I said ok, mom just asked me to stay until you got home. She gave me a weird angry laugh and when I went back to my room with BF she slammed the basement door shut. I feel like I am kind of an Ahole, but at the same time I’ve repeatedly expressed over the years that I am not comfortable with the responsibility of taking care of him, I am not mentally or physically capable, as well as I lose track of time and get too easily distracted to properly and consistently remember to check in on him. Mentally due to sensory issues and many other things, physically because I am not strong enough and struggle to lift and move Ty. I did what my mom asked and stayed home. She did not specifically say to go and take care of Ty. If you don’t specify certain things or give me instructions I won’t know that it was just supposed to be part of the task. I feel bad but also annoyed because it’s not my job and not my fault that it wasn’t specifically communicated to me to do.A text from my mom after Lex got upset with me **By the way today was so last minute so I am not the least bit surprised that it was not clear that I was asking you to also take care of Ty**",AITA for not taking care of my disabled brother after my sister (a pt caretaker) got home,NTA
10yceog,"Hello.I (28) am planning to enter an art competition where a coworker Z (18-19ish?) entered. I need to state that while I do plan to join, it is only because I like competition, plus I want to add more things in my portfolio and making myself more visible. I found out about the competition from their entry posted online, and they knew I knew about them entering the competition.Z is a college student, and college students here need to get some number in credits to graduate. If I did my research right (this system didn't exist back then when I was in university), one way to get more credits is to join a competition and/or win in it (winning brings more credits than just joining).Now, I'm not that confident about my art. I am just a freelancer who started drawing only for anime and manga, while they are more of the artsy art student. However, I am still worried, what if I ended up winning instead of them...? I would be disrupting them in getting credits to graduate earlier, right? No, even if I don't end up winning, I wonder if I would be an asshole for joining a competition knowing they entered? Or would thinking like this means I'm infantilizing them?",WIBTA if I joined a competition my co-worker needed to win?,NTA
10ycdrz,"I used to be in a friend group of 3 and this group wasn't the most in touch with talking about our feeling. (I know kind of toxic already) we all knew that some of us didn't know how to approach or give advice to each other so we would just keep it to ourselves or talk to our therapists. my one friend got sober and we were so happy for them and we would try our hardest to see them when we could but we had other things like, work, school, trying to find work or family drama. So it was difficult sometimes to see them. When they got out of treatment we were so exited and I personally tried to think of non drinking activity's to do with them in the summer since its now winter and there's noting much to do especially since we liked to do separate things to do in the winter. personally I liked to drink in the winter and I didn't want to invite them because of craving and I thought it would be rude to drink Infront of them and the other friend liked to go snowboarding and doing other winter actives'. Moving forwards into what I want to talk about. in my personal life things were stressful with job findings and family issues and finding a place to move into. I was drinking a lot and had little to no time to see my friend due to my drinking the other friend was worried so she would invite me out of my toxic household. sooner or later the friend who got sober brought up how much time me and her were spending without them.... we both wanted to have this conversation in person because texting doesn't do any good especially for how deep it was. they started to go off at us calling us bad friends, teaming up on her, and said how we did nothing for them (there's more) it really hurt because me and them were friends for 5 years and we always bounced back... we waited one day and we both asked them if we could meet up and have the talk, they left us both on read or just sent streaks, we asked again, left one read... then they unadded us on everything. I feel like I'm an asshole, but we tried to respect them in being sober and we got shat on.","WIBTA, just flat out am I?",NTA
10yc87k,"Hello AITA!So tonight I (36M) arrived at work, after getting changed and settled down I received a chain of screenshots from my wife (4XF) of text messages between the builder doing a job in our house (details in a bit), I phoned my wife to make sure she was okay (she's very upset) then sent a long message to the builder saying he was behaving in a unacceptable manor.The job in question in removing one side of a chimney stack in the kitchen diner and placing some larder units in there to save space.We are growing ever more frustrated as this is supposed to be a 4 day job and so far a delay in structural engineering cals and steel I-beam supply has caused the job to have taken the 4 days and looks to be 2 or so more.  (Builder suggested the engineer \[who gave us the calcs an hour after my wife chased him, but a day late\] and steels supplier who gave us the steels an extra day and a half late \[even though our builders team left site to help the steels supplier finish a job he was doing elsewhere\])So, tonight my wife received a number (4) of messages whilst she was out asking for payment for the steels (which has cost the builder about 3 times as much as quoted), after seeing the messages she replied that she would pay once she was home in an hour or so, he said okay and about 55 mins later messaged again to prompt her payment as the steels supplier was ""blowing up his phone with calls for payment""So I spoke with my wife and said I would speak to him, originally when I got home from work and after I slept so in the afternoon, but after a prompt of my wifes own, decided to send a message tonight:""Builder, if you needed money to cover the steels, why didn't you ask before you left the house earlier, we were happy to do what we can to help out?  The way you have chased payment from my wife tonight (let alone not mentioning anything about it to me) is completely inappropriate.  I understand that you have paid out more for the steels than you expected, and i appreciate everything you've done to drive the project forward with things going the way they have, but tonight was totally unacceptable.  I can see where you are coming from don't get me wrong, but the way you have gone about this problem tonight is just horrible.  I am not okay with how much you have chased us for an unexpected payment whilst also saying that you have not been able to contact the building inspector, Steels Supplier let you down even after that massive helping hand you gave him to try and get the steels done on time and you still defend him, but we've been delayed and then you've chased Wife, not even a message to me, for an extra payment, that doesn't seem fair?  When you come in tomorrow I expect you to apologize to Wife""Is that an arsehole message to have sent or am I justified?  Wife is really upset, we've had a shit week and this guy is just shitty icing on a subpar cake.",AITA Snapped at builder,YTA
10yc6hx,"I’m currently in the interns dormroom, in the middle of my night emergency department shift. I get at most 2h of sleep and my coworker (in the same room) is snoring like a bull and I can’t for the life of me fall asleep. I tried moving around in my bed and the good ol’ « light whistle to make her stop » (doesn’t work). She doesn’t get much more sleep than I do, would I be the asshole for gently nudging her ? Should I instead shove a baby carrot in her nostrils so she breathes through the mouth ?",WIBTA for waking up my roommate,YWBTA
10ybx2e,"I (21M) love my GF, Keira (20F). We get along quite well, share many hobbies and have fun together and we supported each other in some of the most horrible moments of our lives.We have only one major difference: she is a night animal, I'm not.To me, ""being up late"" means going to sleep at 2-3AM. To her, being up late means going to sleep when the sun rises.She loves clubbing until morning one time a week or every two weeks. The nightclub in our city is basically a 10x10 hole were people have a personal space of 10cm\^2 because they always allow people in even when the place is full. The music is so loud that I could scream in Keira's ear and she would still not hear me. She thinks it's fun, I think if Hell exists, this is a good preview.Despite that, I still go with her every time because I want her to have fun. She knows how I feel and is thankful I do this for her.Few days ago, few of her friends invited us to a new nightclub in the next city ( They pick us up with their car). This place was luckily bigger than the one we usually go but it had one big problem: it didn't have a ""smoke free"" area. You could smoke everywhere and once we were inside, we basically found ourselves in a cloud of cigarette's smoke.I hate cigarettes. I suffered from asthma in the past and, while it got a lot better growing up, breathing in a hall full of people who smoke is not exactly a great idea.We arrived at 22 and 1 hour later I started feeling sick. I got out for a few minutes to take some fresh air and I started feeling better.At 22.30 I got back in and Keira was searching for me. We danced a bit and chatted with our friends in a corner until midnight.I suddenly started feeling really sick and got out without even explaining what was happening.Keira followed me and stayed with me until I felt a bit better. I told her I preferred not to get back in but that I was ok waiting for her outside if she wanted to stay a bit more. She insisted we went home with a cab and she went back inside to say goodbye to her friends.I waited for half an hour for her but she didn't come back. I thought about going back in to search for her but I still felt sick so I called a cab (took 20 minutes to arrive) and went home alone and left her a message on the phone.She called me the morning after, angry that I left. Apparently when she got in, her friends insisted for one final drink before going and since I had said I was ok waiting for her a bit more, she accepted. She got out at 2AM. I had left 30 minutes before.AITA?",AITA for leaving the club night early alone?,NTA
10y9ci6,"Idk this is something small but I have Reddit open rn so might as well ask a question I’ve been thinking about for a bit:Basically, for the past few years my aunt (actually, two of them have been doing this, but they’re from different sides of the family so it’s not really relevant to group them together) have been giving me gift cards for my birthday and Christmas. Which is very nice! I appreciate the gesture! But they give me gift cards to stores I do not have any desire to shop at (mostly makeup stores, and I do not wear makeup). I don’t want to sound ungrateful for the gift, but I either end up accidentally letting it expire, giving it to my sister, or struggling to find something to buy with it and having an unpleasant time. It feels like I’m wasting their money (because I don’t often use or wear the things I end up buying when I DO buy things) but I don’t want to be rude and ungrateful.edit: typo that was bothering me",WIBTA if I told my aunt to stop giving me gift cards I don’t like?,NTA
10yc8n7,"This literally happened today (all fake names for privacy) I'll try and make this short.So me (14m) and ""friend"" Ally(14f) were in our 6th period  I finished my work and wanted to draw I thought it would be funny to draw me, her and our other friends Wade and Jaiden all weird and squiggly after class I showed her and she got upset and walked away she didn't say anything just walked away when we got to 7th period Wade asked what was wrong with ally and I said it was probably because of the drawing and showed him he thought it was funny and loved it I decided to not talk to ally and sat with my friends Kim and Layla Kim told me Ally was telling people I stabbed her in the back and how I'm a fake friend for drawing her insecurity she came over asked to talk I said not rn but maybe tomorrow Wade then came over and said Ally wants to know why I won't apologize to her and that I knew she was insecure about her looks I said I didn't know that and I never said I wouldn't apologize. Kim and Layla said I shouldn't apologize and I did nothing wrong and that she's an insecure B.I was going to apologize but now I am starting to feel like I did nothing wrong and I'm thinking about  just completely ignoring her and not talking to her anymore. she has said many mean things to me that have made me really upset and insecure but I never reacted like this and think it is sort of unreasonable considering the things she has said about and to me.So AITA for drawing a picture that made my ""friend"" insecure and for not apologizing and WIBTA if I just stopped talking to her altogether?Note: before today I did not know she was insecure about her looks.","AITA for drawing my ""friends"" insecurity?",YTA
10ybfbu," My (34m) wife (31f) believes my parents are racist, which I know for a fact they are not. They have ALWAYS been republican. They voted for Trump because of part loyalty mostly. My wife hates that, but they’re not racist. Just republicans. They know I voted for Biden and they don’t care. My wife is mixed race, but looks white. When my wife straightens her hair, she looks like a fully white woman, but she identifies as mixed anyway. My parents don’t have a problem with her race at all. They think she’s very beautiful too.It all started to get really weird when our daughter was born two years ago. My daughter was born with blue eyes and my mother was very happy about that. Not because she hates people with brown eyes, but she just thought my daughter had beautiful blue eyes. If I had married a white woman, my mother would have still gushed about my daughters blue eyes. I know that for a fact. My wife read into it A LOT and acts as if my mother was some kind of aryan supremacist by being pleased with my daughter’s eye color. Our daughter DOES have beautiful eyes. This past Christmas mother bought our daughter toys and my wife complained because one doll in particular had blonde hair and our daughter has wavy brown hair. She thinks our daughter should play with dolls that look like her. I played with action figures when I was a kid even though I don’t have abs. It makes no sense to me. My wife asked for the receipt so that she could get our daughter a doll that “looks more like her”. My mother disagreed and said she picked the doll because it looks most like our daughter.  My wife said “She is not white.” And the whole exchange got awkward. I can’t stress enough—my wife practically looks Italian. Our daughter is close to 80% white, and she DOES look white. It just felt like she was trying to bait my mother and my mother didn’t take the bait. She just said she didn’t keep the receipt. My mother has been put off by my wife since, and has stopped texting her Bible verses like she used to.Yesterday, I was on the phone with my father and he didn’t realize he was on speaker. My wife and I have a trip coming up in March and we were planning to leave our daughter with my MIL. I told my dad this and he jokingly asked “Are we not woke enough to babysit?” My wife heard him. It was a stupid joke, but it was JUST a joke. My father is not racist. I got off the phone and my wife essentially says “when conservatives say woke, they’re dog whistling the N-word.” I blew up on her, which I now regret, but my parents are literally HARMLESS, and they LOVE their granddaughter, and I feel like she wants me to hate my parents as much as she seems to. I told her that I know my parents better than her, and if they were racist, I’d be the first to admit it. They’re literally just regular old white people who don’t know how to talk to her without her FINDING something to be mad at and I lost my temper. AITA?",AITA for knowing my parents aren't bad people?,NTA
10ya40o,"Gamer question. So I went to there house and I was completely chill no rudeness and was as friendly as possible. But, some of the people kept on saying that me only playing dedede was annoying them. I didn't wanna switch because I like that character and he is the only one I have experience playing. I don't know how serious they were but after they thought of me as a ‘troll’ when I did nothing rude.",AITA for only playing king dedede in smash ultimate with people I’m acquainted with?,NTA
10yot8y,"My hsuband and I have 2 kids my stepdaughter(F14) and our son(M6)My husband's family and I don't get along. Honestly I think we are all at fault for that. When I first met them I thought they are a bunch of snob assholes so I didn't act very friendly towards them and they are, in fact a bunch of snob assholes so they weren't very friendly to me either. We got into a lot of fights and it was really bad to a point that they said they don't want to have anything to do with me, my husband or any of our future kids. They only wanted to stay in contact with my husband's daughter who was 4 back then. My husband agreed to this because he thought it would be unfair for his daughter to lose her family because of us.It is now a problem for us because my son has started to notice that he is being treated unfairly. He hasn't even met my in laws. All he knows is that his sister gets a lot of good gifts for christmas birthdays and other occasions and he doesn't.For christmas they bought a ps5 for her. We made it clear to her that since she needs to use our tv to play she has to share with her brother. Of course she threw an tantrum that it's her console and he is going to break it but she finally agreed.4 days ago was stepdaughter's birthday and guess what she got? A tvI told my husband this has to stop. We can't let them treat our son like that. We told them that unless they start treating the kids equally they won't be able to see stepdaughter again.They became very angry and called us assholes for taking ""their child"" away from them. They kept sending texts and calling us different names so we had to block them.When we told stepdaughter she had another tantrum. She was crying and yelling at us for an hour. She hasn't been talking to us in 4 days and doesn't come out of her bedroom and is crying the entire time. My husband thinks we are assholes and should just let her see his family but I'm not sure.Edit: when I said in laws I meant my husband's siblings not his parentsI have raised my stepdaughter her whole life so yes I'm her mom and that's what she calls meI didn't stop my in laws from having a relationship with my son, it was THEIR choice. We tried to invite them to meet our son but they refused. My husband has even been trying to fix things with them, he loves his family and is hurting a lot by not seeing them but they don't want to fix things",AITA for not allowing in laws to see my stepdaughter anymore?,YTA
10yrja3,"There's a small bar in my town I recently started going to. They have trivia night Friday night. I started going a few weeks ago, and after my second week there one of the regulars at trivia told me that trivia was something he had set up with the bar owner and I wasn't welcome. He doesn't work for the bar, so I told him he couldn't really tell me I was unwelcome.He explained that trivia night was a guys thing and a safe space for them from the judgement of women. I told him he shouldn't have it in a public bar then. Last week he left ""in protest"" of me being there, and his team was upset, because they didn't do as well as usual. I told my boyfriend and he thinks I'm being mean to the guy and should try to see his point of view. Maybe I'm a little cold-hearted, but I don't really care about that guy, even though he was there first.",AITA for ruining a guy's favorite spot?,NTA
10yq6s4,"If this post comes off as blunt, I'm not trying to be. I'm just trying to get to the point and keep it as short as I can.My cousin passed in an accident a last week, which is devastating. What's going on now is that me and my fiance have our engagement party coming up soon. My mom is telling us to postpone it because everyone in the family is going through a tough time right now. I told her we've everything is set and it's going to be a hassle to change it all now. The venue does allow changes, but the earliest availability they have after our date is in April. No one postpones something like this last minute and we don't want to have to wait until then, and I told my mom I'm truly sorry for what happened but people attending our party can cheer them up after this tragedy.She said I was acting selfish.AITA?",AITA for not postponing my engagement party?,YTA
10ysqq6,"My kid's class is having a pizza party today and for the last week her teacher has been asking for parents to send in $5 for it. My kid has disordered eating do to mental health issues I won't be getting into. (She is currently in therapy for this and other issues.) So she doesn't like pizza. She will eat bread sticks sometimes but only if it is a specific (special order) kind from a specific restaurant. They are not ordering from this specific restaurant and I would not request for the teacher to have them make it to my kid's liking. That'd be rude and selfish. On top of that my kid is lactose intolerant so eating pizza would give her a tummy ache anyways. I explained all this to her teacher in an email, stating I wouldn't be sending in money because my kid can't/won't eat pizza. (I made sure to pack my kid a lunch which is what I do everyday considering her disordered eating.) Her teacher replied saying that sending in money wasn't an option but that if my kid didn't want to eat pizza she didn't have to. I'm not sending money in for a pizza party my kid can't participate in. Sure $5 isn't a lot but when you're poor af, it's not nothing. Does this make me TA?",AITA for not sending money in for my kid's class pizza party?,NTA
10ytkyh,"My husband and I (f48) had good jobs so we got the opportunity to save and buy a house when we got married. Then, as my husband loved to fish, we saved money again to buy a house in a lake near our city. We have two kids Theo (m29) and Lindsey (f26). We used to have family vacations in the lake house quite often as it wasn't that far. The house was under my husband's name. My husband got sick five years ago with a terrible illness, he fought all he could but he ended up passing away a year after his diagnosis. As a way to be precautions he passed the properties to me and also the money he had saved up (we had separate savings accounts). He never told me what to do with the money or anything, he just passed all out to me with the help of a lawyer. He also wrote a will for some of his beloved items (his grandfather's car as example) things that weren't expensive but had a emotional value. He left some stuff for me, some for our kids and the rest of his family and friends. After his parting we started a yearly tradition to go there in his birthday to remember him. Around like 8-9 months ago my son came up to me and asked me what plans did I had for the house, he explained that he wanted to buy a house before his marriage and would love to buy the lake house. I told him I needed to think about it, but then I agreed. My son reminds me of my husband a lot, he loves nature as much as his dad did and he loves that house too, so I knew that it would be in great hands. We did it all legally and the house was sold market price range. My son and his fiance plan to move soon.My daughter came home to visit me the other day, she asked me if we were going to the lake house to celebrate my husband's birthday again this year. I told her that we should ask Theo but I'm sure that's not going to be a problem for him. She asked my should we ask him and I told that since it's his house now he gets to decide that kind of stuff. She went crazy when she found out Theo had brought the house. She had the nerve to tell that she feels robbed by me because that's her house too and I didn't asked her. I had to remind her that legally that house is mine, and that I had sell it to her brother, not just some stranger. We ended up having a big argument over this. She said I broke her dad's promise because he told them both that the house would always be theirs to go on vacations, it would never sell or something like that. I didn't knew that as he never told me so, he didn't gave me any instructions about the house. At last I told her to get over it and she left. She also blocked my number and I can't call her. I think she's overreacting, the house is her brother's home now, it's not like we lost it forever to some stranger. My son and his fiance will sign a prenup too, so in case of a divorce he won't lose the house. But also I understand that she feels heartbroken over that promise that I had no idea of.",AITA for selling my house to my son without telling my daughter?,YTA
10ysgsy,My mom lives in our old house and since my father passed away she expects me to help her take care of it.  Not a problem.  I have a great job and they paid for my education.  If it wasn't for them I wouldn't be where I am.  But I am not a handy person.  What I have is a group of friends who include several useful trades.  For example my best friend is an electrician and she is married to a plumber.  In return for my friends help I do a fair bit of professional work for them. However some stuff isn't in their scope.  There was a pothole in the road in front of my mom's house and she couldn't get the city to fix it.  I tried explaining that the city has lots of potholes to deal with and that I'm not Ron Swanson.  She said my father had fixed a pothole before. I tried hiring a contractor to fix it but they can't do private work on public property.  Then I remembered a news article I read about some town in England where a guy went around drawing dicks in potholes.  My father a a lot of spray paint in the garage so I grabbed some and went out and drew a masterpiece.  Very veiny and everything.  It made the local news.  The city fixed it within a week.  My mom was mortified.  She said that I am an immature criminal and that she is embarrassed to think her child would do such a thing.  My sister called me up from her house to tell me off as well.  Then texted me thank you because she was tired of hearing about the pothole too.  So my mom is upset with me for not handling it in a mature and responsible way.  I'm not a pothole guy.  I tried dealing with the city and I tried paying for it to get fixed.  I just wanted to stop hearing about it.  I think she should be happy the pothole is fixed.  AITA for using the prudes in my city to get expedited public works attention?,AITA for drawing d**k graffiti around a pothole.,NTA
10yqnoa,"me and two of my best friends are supposedly going to our girls trip in another three months. One of my girlfriends (Sarah) is going to get married this year, so we thought its gon be a nice and cute girls trip only three of us (another one is Tammy) They mean a lot to me and we have been besties since we were kids in primary schools, and now we’re already 24 hehe. so we planned this trip because Sarah is going to get married by the end of this year *and its unlikely for her to travel alone after getting married because a culture thing* we have been planning for this Hawaii trip for months, and suddenly this morning, they told me in group chat that her fiancé and Tammy’s boyfriend are going to come along. Here before, we have traveled for short trips before, and honestly I don’t really vibe with her fiancé, not because he is mean or abusive, but it’s just I could never be myself when we’re hanging out if there’s her fiancé. I never expressed my dislike to her fiancé because obviously Sarah is my bestfriend and i love her as long as he treats her well. But, she told me on the group chat that her fiancé is going to tag along, as well as Tammy’s boyfriend too. I am single and i dont mind thirdwheeling honestly. It is just i feel like it’s not what i signed up for.so after a while of thinking, i decided to just not go, even after i have bought the ticket which is around 1000 usd and non refundableI typed a long essay, i said they still have to go because this trip would be Sarah’s fiance first long travel trip, and they’re not going to go to honeymoon too. So this is possibly like their honeymoon/prewed photoshoot trip too. But they think I’m selfish for not tagging along and they really want me to come because the girls trip will still be girls trip as long as three of us are there. I explained to them abt how it is actually not cool to change plans but I completely understand because she really wanna go there with her man because its a long travel trip too so she doesnt wanna waste it only for girls trip. But i think my feelings are valid too, apart from the fact I don’t really like her fiancé, it is just not right to change the plans, but guilt trip me and expected me to give in and adjust to the plans. I have tried to explain nicely, but Sarah said something like “You don’t understand how hard it is for us to be the middle person”From the texts, i think they expected me to just go along with the trip and say nothing… but honestly i dont want it, i really WOULD LOVE TO go back there travel especially with my girls.. *but you can’t tell me the vibes and DYNAMICS would still be the same with their partners coming along…*",AITA for not goin to girls trip bc their partners goin to tag along?,NTA
10ym281,"Sorry for my english, it’s not my first language.Okay, so me (20F) and my bf (24M) have anniversary 2 weeks after Valentine’s. A few months ago, we decided to just chill at home on Valentine’s and on the day of our anniversary visit a famous burger restaurant nearby, we haven’t been there yet because it’s expensive and we are both students still. However, 3 days ago I was doing some stuff on the internet and found a (in my country popular) website that offers coupons for from helicopter rides, winetasting etc. to 3 - 7 days long stays in hotels with wellness etc. I looked for a bit and found some great offers, sent it to my bf and ultimately we agreed to book a hotel stay instead of the expensive restaurant. It’s for 3 days, unlimited pool and sauna time and all inclusive and it’s affordable for us. It also stated that if one of the days you book the stay for is Feb 14th, you will get a back massage for two and a bottle of champaigne for free. We decided to book it for 13th - 15th. Yesterday, my friend of 10+ years (20F) told me she broke up with her boyfriend. We’ve been talking a lot and got good food, I comforted her etc and then she told me we should do something together on Valentine’s since she’s alone. I told her that I’m sorry but I’ve already purchased a hotel stay with my bf and it’s also for our anniversary so I won’t bail on it and Valentine’s itself isn’t such a big deal. She got a bit mad and started saying that I’m insensitive, we should go clubbing and drinking and I should just move the stay. The thing is that there’s additional fee if you want to rearrange the time of your stay less than 7 days before you’re supposed to be there. She proceeded to in my opinion guilttrip me and in the end I got annoyed and told her that I’m not responsible for her relationship and that I’m sorry but I knew it’s gonna happen sooner or later and that she chose to ignore me trying to help her get out of her insanely toxic relationship and kept being naive. (Her bf cheated on her and lied to her multiple times since the beginning of their relationship, some time ago told her he had another gf the whole time but apparently he broke up with her and my friend still stayed with him. Also switched schools to go into the same school as him even tho it’s a school focused on subjects she doesn’t find interesting. I told her multiple times to please open her eyes and leave him but she refused to. He dumped her for another woman in the end.) She then proceeded to curse at me and left my house crying and is now not talking to me. Have I said too much or was I insensitive? I feel like she genuinely is annoying me lately with her naivity and refusing to accept help so I may have snapped.",AITA for refusing to spend Valentine’s with my friend who’s after a breakup and telling her I’m not responsible for her relationship?,NTA
10ytanq,"We're separated and share custody. Every year around his birthday, he gets his ""medical maintenance"" like dental exams, physicals, shots. He's turning 9 and my ex said she'd schedule his physical. For stuff like that, I usually take him because obviously he does not want his mom in the room when he has to pull his pants down. He doesn't think twice around me and he likes his doctor. A good doctor is hard to find and my son has never seen any other doctor.My ex said she had scheduled it but would leave work early to take him. I said that he's turning 9 and this is something that he's going to want me to do. She said that it was fine because she was going to a new doctor. The doctor is closer to her place AND was a mom of one of his classmates. I believe the mom is trying to build her practice and what better way to start than a physical like a dentist doing a cleaning? My ex was even going to send over our son's records to her office.I told her that she had no idea what she was doing. Our son isn't going to be comfortable having a physical done by a woman who happens to be his friend's mom in front of his own mom. It'd be so outside his comfort zone that it'd be creepy.We argued about it and what it came down to was that she doesn't want to drive to his usual doctor because it's ""too far"" so she wants something close to her. She said sne doesn't want to spend 45 minutes in traffic the next time our son needs a doctor's appointment like she did when he needed stitches on his chin. I told her that's our son's usual doctor is good and that's why everyone wants to see him. This isn't about what's convenient for her. Grow up. I do lots of things I don't want to for my kid but I do it.I ended up going over her head and canceling the one my ex made. She's mad at me for doing that without letting her know until I scheduled one with his usual doctor.",AITA for canceling a doctor's appointment that my son's mom made for him?,NTA
10ykdfp,"So me and my partner have been together for around a year and a half, and of course she’s getting antsy about marriage and kids.A long time ago her dad mentioned to her that if we were to get married, he’d put in £4000 towards it. Holy shit that’s amazing.This got us budgeting and we decided we could both take out a £7000 loan on top of this to pay for the wedding and honeymoon, we agreed and it wasn’t spoke of again.Present day, once again wedding talk is the topic and she shyly brings up her dad recently told her it’s actually £10,000… holy shut what a guy.I suddenly chirp up with, “wow we only need to take out a 4-5k loan now each, this is great!”.She suddenly calls me “pathetic” and that she doesn’t need to take out a loan as well as her father has gone above and beyond.“You need to man up and stop trying to make things 50/50 as it’s pathetic and selfish”AITA for assuming this was a gift to us, I assumed it was 10k to both of us and we’d each put in 4k for 18k total?",AITA for wanting to split her dads wedding money?,NTA
10yp5x5,"My husband's older sister has two daughters with her ex-husband. SIL named the oldest, while her ex-husband named the youngest. The oldest has never been fond of her name and has outright hated it since she turned 6. She went by a nickname her grandmother used for a couple of years but then outside the family, with the exception for my husband and I, she went with a name more like her sister's.I know how she feels because I was Emily when I was a kid (what my parents named me) while my brother had a much cooler name and I was so jealous too. So I changed it to be something I actually liked and wanted. My niece knows this which is why, I think, she can speak to me so openly about this stuff. She knows I won't judge. That I won't tell her to keep her name to make her mom happy or that her name is beautiful and traditional and she should be proud of it.She was extra on edge about her name a few weeks ago. She's 15 now and I know how awkward it can be to hate the name your family calls you. I told her to maybe think about if she'd use the name the rest of us use when she's older and pointed out she could change her name when she's 18 if she wants. This helped to brighten her up.SIL overheard us talk and came after me, asking why I'd encourage her daughter to throw her name away and how dare I go behind her back to say something like that. I told her it wasn't going behind her back. It was just a private moment between us and it came up. She said it's bad enough one of her kids having a hideous name, without both of them having them. I didn't say much else because this is my niece's decision and her own feelings on her name, not my own.Some of my husband's other family members were told about this by SIL and they all agree with SIL that I was wrong. SIL is still angry too, and even more so because my niece didn't reassure her that she'd keep the name.My husband told them they were being ridiculous but I do have to ask if I'm TA for what I said to my niece?",AITA for telling my niece she can always change her name in the future?,NTA
10yqgx3,"So 40 years ago my mother in law used to occasionally clean houses for people for a little extra cash. Two years ago when my daughter was a newborn (around 2 months old) my husband and I decided to move 5 hours away from where we were living at the time. Keep in mind, I was a first time mom to a newborn, my husband was working around 60 hours per week , and my 17 (at the time) year old stepdaughter was also living with us. I did ALL of the cooking, cleaning, and childcare with the exception of my husband’s laundry. My stepdaughter didn’t even do anything around the house. The only time she ever left her room was to get food, pile dishes in the sink, shower, or leave to see friends. And she wasn’t in school. When we moved, my MIL offered to do our moving out deep clean so that the landlord wouldn’t take it out of our deposit as stipulated in our lease. So my husband went with her to help. But the whole time they were there I kept getting snarky texts from her saying things like “when was the last time you took a sponge to the radiators” or “when was the last time you moved the couch to vacuum”. Look, my house wasn’t dirty or unhygienic. But moving a couch while I was pregnant or managing a newborn wasn’t going to happen. I kept the house clean, but the little deep cleaning things were let go from about the time I was 8.5 months pregnant. Fast forward to now, I’m 6.5 months pregnant and I spend my day wrangling a toddler, cleaning the house, cooking etc. My stepdaughter no longer lives with us so it’s just me, my husband, and our daughter. My husband helps with some things like taking out the garbage and grocery shopping now since we don’t live close enough for me to walk to the store like we used to (I don’t drive). My husband told me the other day that his mom said she would like to come down a few weeks before the baby is due to do a deep clean as a baby gift for us. Honestly, the thought makes me so anxious and uncomfortable. I just imagine her never ending snarky comments and it really doesn’t seem worth it to me. I keep the house clean and while it would be great to have a good, deep cleaning done before we bring home another baby, I just feel like it would stress me out. But my husband says his mom really wants to do this as her “gift” to us. WIBTA if I put my foot down and decline her gift?",WIBTA if I declined my MIL’s “big baby gift”?,NTA
10ypykx,"For context my partners sister can’t have kids, so they have to inject her with eggs and so on. This cost around 10.000 dollars to do in my country. Now this is a lot of money. Here were we live we have like two free try before it costs money. They succeeded the first time and now have a child who is 1years old. They now want another one. Second try did fail and now they have to pay 10.000 dollars to have new eggs.Here the thing. They don’t have the money. And we don’t even have that money in our savings. We have like 6.000 dollars in savings. We save alot of money now to buy a house and travel before we get our own kids. I’m soon 30 years old and have alot of anxiety with how I have been poor with savings over the years.. so we have decided to save 1000 dollar per month so we quickly get our numbers up. Things are going well and I finally feel some sort of comfort with our economy. I see a future and now she wants to give it all away to her sister.I said no, we have our own dreams to follow. House, travel and kids. That’s why we save our money and now she wants to give up our dreams so her sister can have her second child? I don’t agree and we’re fighting about it and she calls me an asshole for my opinion about it.AITA?",AITA for not giving my partners sister money?,NTA
10yryep,"I (29M) am an individual on the spectrum, and am very firmly an introvert. I have a limited tolerance for socializing, and once that limit is hit, I like to be by myself. My mother (61F) and I...don't see eye to eye. She has very opiniated views of what a fulfilling life should look like, and tries to impress them on me. She's always tried to openly or secretly make me do things I'm not particularly interested in. She cannot fathom that different people have different definitions of satisfaction.So a week ago she walked into my computer room and started a conversation, asking how life was going, how my job was, etc etc. Told her I was doing fine and I'm not experiencing any particularly hardship. (Side note: The house I'm staying in technically belongs to my parents, however I'm paying the mortgage and assuming the responsibilities of keeping the house running. Rent to own if you will.) She then goes on to say that she feels bad that she couldn't do more for me. I say I appreciate the thought but I'm content as is.She keeps the conversation in the same vein, noting that I don't go out often, or that I don't seem to have very many friends, or that I'm always in the computer room doing my own thing. I tell her once again that I'm not unhappy with the situation.""Well I just feel sorry for you."" she says.I got frustrated and said: ""Mother, as I have stated, I am not dissatisfied with how my life is going right now. I enjoy my time by myself. If you want to feel sorry for me, please go do it somewhere else.""I acknowledge that she very well just cares for me and my wellbeing. I do feel as though I may have gone a little too far.So, AITA?",AITA for telling my mother to go be sorry for me somewhere else?,NTA
10yrrn5,"So I'm out of work atm and having a hard time, my dad asked me if I wanted to give him a hand with a couple of jobs (he's an engineer) I say yeah that would be great and he picks me up in the morning to go to the job. On the way he picks up his mate (we will call him Phil for now). So I've known Phil all my life he's been my dad's best friend for as long as I can remember, Phil has always been the kind of family friend who pops over brings gifts and would bring sweets or money for me and my brother when we were little. We never really spoke to Phil we just always thought he was nice because he would bring us stuff. Fast forward I'm 28 and I've never had a proper conversation with Phil but now I'm stuck in a van with him and my dad for a couple of days for this job. So as soon as Phil gets in the van he makes a joke about how he's not trying to touch my leg whilst getting his seat belt on but how he might do later, I awkward giggle and shrug it off. He makes a few more odd comments about me being pretty and odd comments about warming up by cuddling me, I was feeling pretty uncomfortable by this but my dad wasn't saying anything so I didn't want to cause a scene, I had just never been spoken to this way from Phil before. I wasn't laughing at these comments anymore or even responding to them so I was getting more and more uncomfortable the more they happened. After a couple of hours of feeling grossed out and uncomfortable we get to site but we are early so we have to wait, at this point my dad says to Phil he stinks, he works on a farm so you can imagine the smell, this then leads eventually to my dad joking about when I was 4 months old having stinky nappies and having to change them and putting powder on my bits... I make it clear i am not comfortable talking about my baby bits around a 70 year old man and ask can we not talk about my bits in front of Phil to which he responds ""I don't mind, I'm just jealous"". I don't respond to this I'm just in shock My dad laughs along with him and the conversation moves on to something else. For the rest of the day all I can think is how gross a 'joke' that was and how I don't want to be left alone with this man who I always thought was so nice.A few days go by and my dad calls me to ask if I want to come to another job, I explain that I'm only willing to come if Phil doesn't come along too, my dad is shocked by this and reiterates how great Phil is. I further explain how uncomfortable he made me feel and how hurt I am that my dad didn't say anything after he ""joked"" about being jealous of touching my 4 month old bits! My dad told me I'm being stupid and I'm taking it the wrong way (not sure how else to take it) and that I shouldn't be dictating to him what he should do when he's doing me a favour by giving me a bit of work and that he's known Phil a lot longer than me and that he's a good guy.I understand that's his friend but I'm his daughter, is it unreasonable to ask that my dad defend me when his mate makes me feel so uncomfortable?",AITA for asking my dad to defend me from his creepy friend?,NTA
10yoqwz,"So I (27M) am getting married this year and arrangements have just been made (last week or so), deposits paid for and registrar/venue booked. I did check with people before booking the date and although we're still very early into the arrangements, the date is set for a Friday in August this year. I've told some people the date and my fiancée has told her family, some people have made hotel bookings already. My sister is currently travelling and has been for the last 5 months or so. Good for her she's having a great time. This morning I got a message from my mum saying that my sister is upset because she is supposed to be at a music festival (Wednesday - Sunday) where the Friday clashes with our wedding. The festival is around a 5 hour drive away and essentially a mini holiday for her. After I got the message from my mum I immediately called my sister. I apologised to her and told her that I'm sorry I didn't check with her first, I had just assumed that since she's been away for 5 months, she wouldn't have anything else booked. My sister seemed okay with it, she wasn't rude but a bit upset. We talked about how she's getting on with her travels as she's currently in the mountains in New Zealand. She's not going to miss the wedding all seemed good.I then called my mum and she was pissed, as my sister has been travelling, she's not had many opportunities to speak to my sister, most of it has been text. The first conversation my sister had with my mum in ages was essentially (according to my mum) my sister angry at my mum over the phone, blaming my mum for not knowing she was away them dates and generally just being angry and upset. This then upset my mum.AITA for not checking with my sister before booking the dates of our wedding?Extra info for anyone that can be bothered to read it:My sister is going to the festival with 1 friend and she's worried about telling that friend about having to bail for some of it. She's worried the friend will then pull out of going. I have invited the friend to the wedding if it means that my sister still gets to go to some of the festivalMy mum feels guilty (she shouldn't) and has offered to pay for flights to allow my sister (and friend) to get to and from the festival to attend the wedding. My sister has been to this festival a couple of times in previous years already.INFO: my mum is annoyed at my sister and not me",AITA for booking my wedding without checking with my sister?,NTA
10ytxie,"So today, I (22F) had an amazing start to my day. My husband (30M) and I dropped our eldest child (2M) at his day care and went shopping for a couple things we needed. When we got home I started to make our food and had gotten part way through when my husband groaned and mentioned we had no rice cooked. I told him to just go to the store (which would take less than five minutes there and back) and buy microwave rice for now and I’ll cook the rice once we finish eating. He instantly got moody and after I had finished cooking and was setting the table said he wasn’t eating and started slamming around tidying, washing up and, eventually, making rice. We didn’t end up eating until 2.5 hours later and the food had to be remade. After eating in a very tense silence my husband asked why nothing in the house is ever done. He said that I don’t do much in my day and the least I can do is keep the house organised and clean. I tidy every. single day.All whilst wearing our ‘newborn’ (3 months M) in the carrier on my chest. I’m exhausted and burnt out constantly from night feeding and staying on top of the house. So, I want to record a timelapse of every single thing I do throughout the day up until our son comes home from daycare for a week and play it on our TV and ask my husband if he still thinks I do nothing. WIBTA if I did this?",WIBTA if I recorded everything I did during my day for a week and showed my husband?,NTA
10ys4z5,"I (26M) just got home from the hospital yesterday. To keep it short I have bad asthma and was hospitalized for 5 days and had just gotten back home.My sister (23F) picked me up from the hospital because my mom (52F) Dad (60M) and my step dad (67M) were all at work. I was just so happy to be home and shower and get back to normal after the whole ER and hospital experience. My step-dad came home from work and greeted me and was happy that I got back home (he gets home from work before my mom). Some time after I get a call from my mom, she wants to buy pizza for us since I’m back home. She tells me to tell step-dad to order pizza from Costco (so she can pick it up on the way home), I misinterpreted what she meant and thought she meant me to ask him to go get the pizza from Costco himself. Also I thought it was weird that she was calling me to tell him something when she could have just called him directly (this will be important later)I end the call and go to my parents bedroom where he is. I tell him what I thought I was supposed to “hey [step-dad] I hope this isn’t a bother but mom asked if you could go get pizza from Costco.” He retorts “no, what? I just got home. Is your mom still on the phone? Damn” I just say “I’m sorry the call ended but you can call her back if you want”I hear him leave to his car then come back in. My cousin is in the living room with her kids because their school buss drops them off near my house so they are always there after school, I myself am in my bedroom just resting being back from the hospital. He starts talking trash about me to my cousin saying “OP screwed up big time. He really messed things up. Wtf. He really didn’t understand what was up.” Now this is where I may be TA, I didn’t intend to call him out but I caused him to call himself out actually. I came out and loudly said “I’m sorry for the miscommunication…” he interrupts “yeah you screwed up big time dude!” So I interrupt, “if mom wanted to speak to you directly she should have called you directly” to which he responds quietly “I left my phone in the car.” I give a sassy “unhhuh right that’s why.” As I go back into my room and close the door.I tell my mom about the situation and she’s on my side saying that he shouldn’t have been saying those things especially to family when I’m right in the next room. She’s also glad I stood my ground against him. We then have dinner and I see that he’s being standoffish he’s more serious than normal. He’s still addressing me but only minimally. My stepdad has been giving me the silent treatment since. I said good morning to him this morning as he was on his way out to work and he completely ignored me. I mean it’s easy to see he’s an AH but that doesn’t necessarily exclude me from also being an AH in the situation. Could I have handled it better?Edit: I must mention my mom did call my stepdad before she called me.Edit: he didn’t actually go to Costco. He got to his car called my mom, cleared the misunderstanding, came back inside, and started to talk about me to my cousin and her kids.Edit: I do play rent, and as mentioned before the pizza was to celebrate me coming back from a 5 day hospital visit.",AITA For calling out my step dad in front of family?,NTA
10ytuts,"I was sitting in my office (I work from home) and my husband came in to talk. As we are talking, he grabs a package that was on my desk and opens it. It happened to be a new medication, he did NOT know about this new medication. He’s a doctor though so he immediately knew what it was for. He then pushes past me and grabs my pill container and starts trying to put my new medication in.I loudly ask him “excuse me but what do you think you’re doing?”He responds “putting your new medication in here since you haven’t bothered. You can’t just avoid taking it.”I snap and yell at him “don’t touch it. I can put it away myself.”He storms off and slams the door while responding with “it sat there for 3 days without you touching it.”He’s right. It did sit there. The reason it sat there is I wanted to wait until the weekend to start taking it in case there are side effects (the relatively immediate ones) so I don’t have to miss work.I know I could’ve tried calmly explaining it but he was being pretty aggressive like I’m a toddler he has to take care of…",AITA for snapping at my husband?,NTA
10yq0zv,"AITA for wanting to rest on my anniversary? I 63(M) and my wife 57(F) have been married for 30 years when I was younger I use to have more energy and working 40+ hours a week didn't take a toll on my body. But now it does and I'm more tired than usual, our anniversary rolls around quicker than the flash. She (my wife) wants to go out for dinner and have a movie night but I explain to her how work has been tiresome and I needed to have a break. She got angry and left the house, Im currently sleeping in the guestroom. AITA?Edit : It's a Monday, so it's not the best time.",AITA For Wanting To Rest On My Anniversary?,YTA
10yuhhm,"I (F24) have been dating my boyfriend (M26) for two years and for his birthday last December I decided to get him a PS5. He would play it constantly and I thought that it was just because it was new and it would die down. It’s been over two months now and he is playing it more than ever. Like 8-12 hours a day. Sometimes I will get home from work around 4:30 pm and he will still be asleep, and when I wake him up he goes straight to his PS5. He used to be employed but he is not currently and I was understanding and tried to help him find a job, but he started taking advantage of the fact that I wouldn’t push him to get a job because I thought a grown man could figure that out. I understand needing your own time but we don’t really talk as much at all anymore and I have sat down with him and told him on several different occasions that I don’t like how much time he is spending on the PS5, and that I want him looking for a job. At first he would respond with “ok I will I’m sorry” but now he groans and ignores me and the only time he talks is if I’m watching him play a game. We’re still sleeping in the same room but he comes in to sleep at around 3-4 in the morning and I wake up every day at 6 am. So it really doesn’t feel like it. Then on Wednesday, I reminded my boyfriend that my cousin’s wedding was tomorrow (yesterday) and told him I have an outfit picked out for him. I had gotten up at my usual time and did some routinely things before I got dressed and woke him up around noon. Just to make sure he was up I watched him get up. I told him to take a shower in the other bathroom so I can do my makeup. When I was finished with my makeup, he’s on the PS5. I was extremely furious. I unplugged it and put it in my car. I said to him that he can get this back when we are home from the wedding. He obliged. Then about an hour into the wedding I had been talking to a couple who wanted to buy a house. Me being a real estate agent, was doing what I always do in this situation which is just a lot of sweet talking. My boyfriend walked over and I introduced him and said “oh! This is my boyfrien-“ I was interrupted by him saying “can you give me my ps5 now” I was mortified to say the least and told the couple to excuse us. I say to him “you want the PS5 so bad? Fine. I will drop you off, then coming back.” When we get home he gets out the car and I drive off with the PS5. I was just so pissed off that that was the reason I had left the wedding that I didn’t care. We share a car so he doesn’t have another. I hadn’t responded to any calls or texts from him until I got home because I just wanted for a couple of hours to not have my relationship be fixated on a PS5. I came back late that night and I apologized to him but I told him I’m not giving it back until he finds a job because it is ruining our relationship. He cried and I started to feel bad and I’m debating whether I was being too controlling. So AITA?",AITA for taking my boyfriend’s PS5?,NTA
10ypcqj,"I came to visit my hometown for the first time since 2018 and my teenage age siblings have been very excited to see me, and in the process got distracted from their school work. My mother isn’t happy and gave me an option, either travel with her to go see my grandma(she was already planning this trip for herself before I came) in a different city or she’s gonna take the kids with her because she’s doesn’t want me home alone with them and possibly distract them further from completing their school work. The thing is I only been here for a week of my 3 week vacation and now my mom is asking me to either stay here in a mostly empty home with my older brother, or to travel with her and leave my baby sibling behind. I said no as I thought this is ridiculous but she then went ahead and got flight tickets for my siblings to go travel with her. I’m sitting here right now, not knowing how to even feel about this. My mom says that I have shown to be destructive because when I briefly visited my elder sister who she had a baby a year ago,  and my mother and younger sibling also came to visit…apparently I distracted my sibling from their school work for couple weeks and that’s what she’s trying to prevent now. So AITA for refusing to do this?",AITA for refusing to fly somewhere to stop “distracting” my little sibling?,NTA
10yukk2,"My parents fiftieth anniversary is this spring and my brother and sister want to take them on a houseboat trip.The one they want to rent costs about $16,000 for a five day booking.  That's not bad since it can sleep 28 people.  It's a little over $100 per person per day.  However they want to split the cost three ways.  $5,300 each.  It's my parents anniversary. And a big one.  Both myself and my partner make good money and we could afford it.  However I think it's fair for us to pay for our room and 1/3 of my parents' bill.  That would be more like $1600.  The reason I think that's fair is because I am not bringing kids or grandchildren.  I don't have any.  I have an elderly English sheepdog who is not invited.  My brother is bringing his wife, three kids and their partners and their kids, and four grandchildren. My sister is bringing her husband, her children, his daughter, all their partners and kids.   I don't know all the grandchildren since I don't know her stepdaughter that well.  Regardless I don't want to pay much more than what I think is fair.  I might be willing to go up to $2,000 just to keep the peace.  But more than that is ridiculous.  I can take my parents to Vegas by myself for less.  My siblings think I'm being cheap and unfair since it is a special occasion and we are doing it for our parents.  I think that they have a bunch of other adults who could pay their own way.",AITA for insisting on a fair split for a vacation or I'm not going?,NTA
10ys40o,"Okay so let me preface this by stating I LOVE animals. More than humans. So much so, that any insect I find indoors, I refuse to kill. So my buddies and I were getting drunk playing MTG (Magic the Gathering) when I had to use the restroom. Inside of my buddies bathroom, is a small animal cage; with a kitten in it. Granted, it’s a huge bathroom, but that’s not the point here. He ALSO has 3-4 cats in a small hallway on the other side of the house. They are kept in this hallway all day everyday. The first side of the hallway is about 8 feet? (Rough estimation, and it’s about 4 feet wide. It wraps around to about another 3 feet or so. That’s where he keeps his 3-4 cats. But that’s not all. He also keeps 2 other cats in a breezeway, in between the house and garage. He refuses to let them out. Stating “they will tear everything up, won’t get along, etc) he ALSO has a dog, that is kept in this tiny ass cage. And when it’s cold, (-35 winds hill we had recently) I REPEATEDLY told him he better being his dog inside. And that I wasn’t playing. He instead, brought him onto the porch, (opened porch) and stated that was good enough. Now, we’re playing Magic. I just got back from taking a piss, and i’m already sauced. I’m thinking of that cat in the cage, the other cats who never get the opportunity to run around, and the poor dog who could be really cold. So I passively aggressively make a comment. Something like “imagine if you were kept in a small confined area, and weren’t able to run around.” To which everyone looked at me puzzled. Except my brother who knew what I was on about, and agreed. He stated he thought the kitten should be free. My other buddie got defensive and tried defending his point starting “he planned on assimilating them” but he has yet to do so, and we all know he won’t. This spawned an argument between me and him, to which I vehemently stated “I don’t like the way you keep your animals. What’s the point of having them, if you’re just going to segregate them?” He got upset and said “we shouldn’t talk” AITA? I’m fully ready to admit I could have approached it in a better manner. However this isn’t the first conversation I have had with him. It’s also worth stating his cats really seem to like him. So I need advice. Thank you.",AITA for telling my friend off for how he segregates his animals?,NTA
10yrull,"some background first:I (20f) and my younger brother (16m) have always been very close. we were raised by a single mom who worked incredibly hard to support us, which meant she was absent most times. This meant that I, as the older sibling, practically raised my brother— from making sure he ate his meals, to dressing him for school as a kid, to helping with his homework. this led to me being very protective and often physically affectionate to me. hugging him when he feels down, or snuggling up to watch movie... it's just how we show our love. nothing wierd, just pure familial affection.now my brother started to date this girl a few months back. i was really happy for him since he has never been a social person. however, she seemed to dislike me from the start. everytime we met, she would make snide remarks about my looks and clothing (i tend to dress in a somewhat masculine way). she once even told my brother that she felt uncomfortable around me because liked girls.she has always given me weird looks everytime i hug my brother or show any physical affection towards him. a few days back, she came over to our house. after my brother and her hung out for a while, he suggested we three should all watch a movie together. i think he was trying to help us bond or something. we all settled on the couch, my brother in the middle, both of us on either side. after a while i put my arm around my brother and hugged him closer like we usually do while watching movies. his girlfriend seemed to hate that. she said i was making them uncomfortable, and that i should get a separate chair to sit on. i refused to do that, frankly cause sitting on a chair to watch a movie would be uncomfortable. she threw a fit. she said this much skinship between siblings is abnormal, and that i was obsessed with him. she also said that since she was his gf, she has some boundaries. my brother tried to explain to her that it was how our relationship was. she then said, and i quote: ""are you blind? can't you see you're being groomed?""we were both completely shocked. she left soon after, and from what i gathered, hasn't really spoken to my brother since. i am so baffled by this. i understand the bit about her having boundaries and being uncomfortable, but i never imagined someone to view my purely familial affection as being a 'groomer'. i feel somewhat disgusted with myself and the implication behind the statement. and i can't help feeling guilty for having ruined my brother's relationship. is it really not normal to be physically affectionate with your sibling? AITA",AITA for being physically affectionate with my brother in front of his girlfriend,NTA
10ytno6,"I (24F) have a terrible relationship with my mom (62). She frequently accuses me of incestual things with my dad. Things like looking at him inappropriately or fantasizing. We recently got into a fight because we got home from thanksgiving, and she accused my dad and I of having a “major hug session” which she deemed inappropriate (he was consoling me bc of my sister). I rarely come home but everytime i do she tries to kick me out- she thinks I’m trying to steal her position in the family.I finally flipped out on her after she said we “needed a break.” I cut contact for a month. I feel so sad that she continues trying to ruin my feeling of safety in the family and that I can’t come home. My dad (63) is my best friend. I live in a different state and miss seeing him everyday. He is from Austria. It’s our happy place. I told him I would come this year, but after the fight with my mom, my mental health severely declined, i was diagnosed with OCD depression and thought that I couldn’t handle another accusation or close quarters with my mom. So I flaked out last minute. My dad understood my decision not to go but was still melancholic about going without any kids. He said that we have to take these opportunities while we can. I feel so guilty and I’m just spiraling and miserable. I haven’t gone in years just because of college, but now i’m remote and feel like i could’ve made it work. I’m at their home watching my younger sibling and thought it would be good to be home without my mom here. Usually I show up everywhere, so it was a shock. I’d never pass this opportunity up- my dad even agreed on paying. My Mom told me I could’ve gone, which just makes me angrier at her.  She makes me feel like none of what she’s done has happened and that I’m overreacting. She makes me feel like a bad person that deserves this. Since then, she’s been nice, and it’s just messed with my head. She’s just going to do this again to me in another form. (I also think she’s being nice because I am moving into a very nice apartment that she would want some part in.)My boyfriend says that i made the right decision to set boundaries. I have trouble letting things go - and keep thinking of “what if.” Time goes by so fast, and I feel petty for not having gone. NOTE: i have an older sibling. My mom has done this a few times in the past to my sister but makes it my dad’s problem, not hers. my sister has lived at home for a year, and is never kicked out. My mother has never gone to therapy.There’s been so much violation, that I can’t even tell if I want a relationship with her. It comes in waves My bf says its my dads job to protect me and that he should’ve stood up for me and made me feel comfortable going with my mom. I don’t know if that’s true. My dad knows its a lost cause trying to stand up for me- wouldnt it just make things worse?AITA for flaking out on the trip, making my dad sad and telling my mom its because of her?",AITA for ditching vacation with my dad,NTA
10ysate,"I live 1000 miles away from where I grew up.  I have a childhood friend that I visit when I go to town.  We have always met up at restaurants and I've always let her choose, but I pay.  She's always chose fast food until this year.  This year, she wanted to meet up at a steakhouse.  It's once a year, so I agreed.  We ate steaks and she wanted dessert.  I was stuffed.  I went along and ordered the dessert and took one bite.  She did the same and asked to pack it up to take home.  I let her take it. We then walked down the shops outside and ""coincidentally"" a friend of hers was sitting on a bench.    She wanted to celebrate seeing her friend by having me buy them snacks.  I said she was free to do that, but I needed to go to the bathroom as a way to exit the situation.  Acting like I needed to go NOW after eating so much. I met back up with them and she kept pointing out food and wanting me to buy it for her.  She was acting like a 2-year-old over a smoothie place saying she has NEVER walked past without buying one.  I said, ""So go buy one!""... she had no cash, she wanted ME to buy it.  I was a little offended because I had just spent over $120 at a restaurant and she was acting like I was there to buy stuff for her and her friend.   I faked a phone call ""emergency"" and left her standing there demanding a smoothie for her and her friend.   She texted me later that I spoiled her ""never walking past"" because she was broke and didn't get paid until Friday.  I pretended she didnt text it. I found out later she is telling everyone how greedy I am and that I'm a rich Azz\*\*\*.  AM I?  I could afford to buy her the smoothie, but I was ticked off about her acting like I owed her one....and bringing a friend???",AITA for not buying my friend a smoothie,NTA
10ytaxh,"Growing up, my mom was never the type to be tidy. Even after she retired and had more time, she seldom cleaned her home and has a tendency to hoard useless/broken things. She has an old broken computer chair, broken aircon, LARGE PLASTIC BAGS FILLED WITH OLD CURTAINS OR CLOTHES that are just hanging out by the hallway upstairs. There are other useless knick knacks that can be found downstairs that are gathering dust. I keep insisting that she throw them away but she will always say that the garbage men wont take it or she doesnt know anyone who will take it for a fee. If you even mention to her that her house is dirty, she gets so offended and then defensive. She has no excuse. She’s 71 and still limber, but all she does all day is watch movies or play on her phone. I guess it was the messy and cluttered state of my childhood home that when i moved out, i made sure my own place wouldn’t be like that. Fast forward many years into the future, i met my now fiance who is an even bigger neat freak that i am. I went home to my hometown last week and told my mom that my fiance and I will visit in a month. She said we could stay with her. I told her i was grateful, and then asked her if i could hire a someone to deep clean the home and throw away all the crap before we visit. She got offended and said the home was fine as it was. I finally insisted and said that the home was dirty and bordering on gross. I told her that if she refuses, then we will stay at a hotel. She told me i was being a snob, but im just so embarrassed at the thought of my fiance seeing that messy and dirty home that my mother refuses to do nothing about. AITA?",AITA for telling my mom the reason why my fiance and i are staying in a hotel is because her house is filthy?,NTA
10ytdds,"Let me preface by saying that My wife and I have a great relationship. This is more for the sake of settling an ongoing argument.We buy various kid snacks for our two children (6 y/o and 1 y/o). Most of these items are things we would not ordinarily buy or consume ourselves like fruit pouches, goldfish crackers, juice boxes, etc. Sometimes, if I am feeling “snacky”, I will help myself to one ore more of these items. If my wife sees me doing this, she will invariably chide me for eating the kids snacks. My usual response is that they are “our” snacks and we can always get more if we run low. Things to note. 1.	I never take the last one. 2.	I never eat their “desert” treats. 3.	I never take food off their plate(unless they are completely finished eating) 4.	I cook 98% of the meals in the house. I will accept whatever judgment is passed.",AITA for eating my kids snacks?,NTA
10yv31u,"I am a chemistry professor at an SLAC(Small Liberal Arts College). I currently am teaching a section of organic chemistry, and this class is very small(<25 students), as such, we have this small tight-knit community. We get along really well, so what happened next really blindsided and surprised me.One thing you should know about me is that I tend to push my students hard, we cover advanced topics in great depth, and I assign weekly homeworks, as well as pop quizzes to make sure my students are keeping up with the material. I also do after class tutoring sessions 4 days a week at 5:00 p.m., and provided students don't have scheduling conflicts, they are required to come to at least 5 of them, throughout the semester.We just had our first midterm, and my students did amazing! I felt like they all really supported each other, on canvas I noticed the class's discussion board was popping with tons of helpful posts, and videos. To reward them for their hard work, I suggested that we take the next 2 classes of, since I'm ahead of schedule, and watch a movie. There's this great movie on Netflix called RRR that I wanted to show my class, and we all unanimously decided to kind of make this a thing, with popcorn and snacks, the whole shebang.However, one of my students recently contacted me, and said she didn't like that I was using class time for watching movies, she felt that with tuition that's being paid, she's essentially paying 100 dollars per class, so she's losing out on a lot of money for the 2 classes that we're doing this, and she feels like she was pressured to agree by the rest of class. I'm not sure that I'm doing anything wrong, but AITA?",AITA for rewarding my class?,YTA
10yqmxs,"Hey everyone,I work at a retail store and recently, one of my colleagues asked me to cover their shift. I understand that things come up and sometimes people need someone to cover for them, but this particular colleague has asked me to cover their shift multiple times in the past few weeks.I've always been willing to help out in the past, but this time I just can't do it. I already have plans and I don't want to cancel them. I also need a break and some time for myself.When I told my colleague that I couldn't cover their shift, they got upset and told me that I was being selfish and not a team player. They also said that they would have to call out and that it would affect their job, potentially resulting in disciplinary action due to how often they call out. They refuse to tell me the reason for the call out, just saying its very personal.I feel bad about the situation, but at the same time, I don't think it's fair for me to have to always cover for this person. I've talked to my manager about the situation and they said that it's ultimately up to me, but I still feel guilty about it.So, am I the asshole for refusing to cover my colleague's shift?Thanks for your input!",AITA for refusing to cover a colleagues shift,NTA
10yrkdk,"I (f23) have a mom who’s getting married this summer with her bf of 6 years. To get a little background info: me and my mother doesn’t have the best relationship, and I have gone lc severel times with her. My other siblings (f28), (m19) and (m17) does all have a bit tight relationship with our mom as well.My mom has been very excited for the wedding, but it has also caused her a lot of stress. She has moved the date of the wedding 3-4 times already  because my oldest lil’ bro kept saying he didn’t have time. Now that he didn’t have an excuse not to come, he keep telling our mom he won’t come, which she has been very sad about. She felt down about it, so I offered to buy my mom her wedding dress. Not only have I given money for the dress, but I’m also (not sure how to translate this to english?) something like a host/planner at their wedding. That means I have to show people their seats, coordinate with kitchen and other staff, host and entertain, solve problems regarding the wedding, etc - in short I’m the one who has to make sure the wedding goes smoothly. And I’m her bridesmaid on top of all that. I’ve also helped found a band (I’m a former musician, so I have friends) and waiters (also friends of mine) to help at the wedding. My brothers refuse to help, my sister helps where she can, but she has her own family to take care of, and my mom’s bf’s children (m22 and f26) also don’t want to help. His daughter was also asked to be a bridesmaid, but declined. Both my mom and bf has relied a lot on me. I live 2 hours away by train and all the other children lives at max 10-20 min away by car from my mom and her bf. Here’s where the problem lies. I asked if it was okay I invited my gf to the wedding as my +1. My gf lives on the other side of Earth and has already booked her ticket and taken time out of her busy schedule to come. My mom and her bf are against “homos”, but allowed her to come. But apparently my mom didn’t tell her soon-to-be-husband that I’m dating my +1 which made him very uncomfortable. His family also found out and my mom’s family as well, and none of them are happy about it. My mom told me I have to uninvite my gf. I told her “if my gf can’t come, then I can’t come as well”. She began crying and begged me to be at her wedding, and that I shouldn’t treat her as my other siblings. I talked with my gf, and she told me I can decide myself, but I should be at the wedding, because I’ve worked so hard to better my relationship with my mom. My sis asked me to be there as well, because our mom keeps crying over it, but the situations just doesn’t sit right with me. Of course I’m not just going to leave the wedding to crash and burn, I’ll find someone else to take my place, but they all would rather me be there. So reddit, WIBTA if I don’t show up at my mom’s wedding?",WIBTA if I don’t show up at my mom’s wedding?,NTA
10yv9je,"  Okey for context I am M19 living at home. My parents went on a small shopping trip staying in a major city in my area overnight, leaving me and my brother at home alone.When coming back they gifted us each a small present. My brother got a small Latin Book whereas I got a Japanese book. I said: ""Thank you but I really don't have a use case for that."" And he got angry as always, so I went to my room before arguing ensued. I honestly feel sad because I never stated that I wanted to learn Japanese. I have my interests, yet he got me smt that has nothing to do with me. Furthermore, I have a list of books I want to read, which I created for myself so I could keep track of the books I wanted to read. I had to share the list with them so they knew what I wanted for Christmas (lmao I didn't even get a Christmas present but that's another story).Minutes later he followed me up to my room to confront me.* He stated that I had an interest because I told them a year ago that I admire my friend teaching himself Japanese even tho we attend a challenging school and I didn't know how he had time for that.* He also said I should be grateful.* I stated that I feel more disappointed because he clearly doesn't know my interests and if I were to gift him a Russian language book, would he be grateful?* He said ofc because I must have put thought into it. On the one hand, I feel like I am the asshole because it's not about the present and more about the thought of even getting smt in the first place. But on the other hand, he never shows interest in the first place and all he talks about is school-related stuff.AITA?",AITA for being distant when receiving a gift from my dad because it has no connection to me.,YTA
10yv178,"I (26F) am getting married this May. My fiancé (29M) and I have decided to have a child free wedding. We love all the kids in our families, but we just preferred to have an adults only wedding, plus, if everyone brought their kids it would increase out guest number by about 50% and we want to keep it on the smaller side. Everyone is totally on board with this except my dad.I have an older half sister (41F) who we'll call Holly. Holly and I have never really had much of a relationship due to our almost sixteen year age gap. Plus, she lived with her mom when I was born (we have the same dad, different moms) and went to another state for college when I was like two or three. We get along well and I love her, we just don't have a ton in common since we've always been in much different stages of life. Holly lives in town with her husband and two kids (12F) and (9M). Despite my efforts, I only see Holly MAYBE once a year ( I get it, she has her own life, I've come to terms with what our relationship is) and I don't think I've seen either my niece or nephew in like three or four years. So when we decided to have a child free wedding I didn't really think much of it. Holly and her husband are invited to the wedding by the way.My dad, however, has always pretended that Holly and I are much closer than we are (and often times has made me feel as though Holly is his favorite but that's a whole other story). When he found out that niece and nephew are not invited to the wedding he became very upset and has brought it up to me multiple times saying that they ""aren't just cousins"" and I'm their aunt and should want them there. I don't think I'm in the wrong here, and Holly hasn't said anything about it to me so I don't know if she even cares. But my dad won't let it go so now I'm second guessing myself a little. So, AITA?",AITA for not inviting my niece and nephew to my child free wedding?,NTA
10ykx7n,"Ok so my dad passed away when I was pretty little (I was 6)My mom likes to wear her wedding ring and misses my dad a lot. Like a LOT. For example she doesn’t go by her first name anymore. She asks her friends to call her “Mrs. (Our last name)”Another thing she does is like she keeps his ashes in their room and she like talks to them. She’ll tell “him” about how I’m doing, my grades and like things she’s doing. The thing that’s actually a problem is she’s REALLY mean to men. Like at the store if any dude says hi to her she’ll say “I’m married” She’ll throw an absolute fit if a guy gives her a compliment. We were in Trader Joe’s and this dude said “I like your coat” and she was like “you don’t see this ring on my finger?? IM MARRIED. MAAAARRRIIIEEEEED.” And shoved it in the guys face.Today my friends dad came to pick her up and he just made small talk while she was getting her stuff upstairs like “so how long have you been in this house” and she said “My HUSBAND and I moved here 20 years ago.” And he was like “oh nice” and she was like “yeah. No more questions. I’m a married woman”She Snapchatted me and said my mom was really mean and her dad was really hurt about it. I told my mom she’s a little mean to men and she said that was disrespectful to my dad, and that her choice to stay faithful isn’t anyone else’s buissness and if they don’t like it they can f themselves.She goes to therapy a lot, she has been for as long as I can remember. This is just the way it is and i don’t feel I disrespected that.",AITA for asking my mom to be a little nicer to people?,NTA
10ysbnv,"Me (23f) and my husband (26m) got married a year ago and a month after our wedding my husband quit his job. He got into a big fight with his boss and he left. Its important to note that we come from a religious/cultural background where the man is expected to financially take care of the household expenses and work. This was agreed upon by both parties when we got married.  When I got married I had just moved to another state and wasn't working. so it was really tough. To his credit he took odd jobs and such to make enough to pay the bills. i took out of my savings to cover other expenses.He told his parents and they lashed out at him, I knew my parents would do the same. So I didn't say anything because I figured he would find another job in three months tops (he has many advanced degrees and could find work quickly). but fast forward 6 months hes hardly applied and only interviewed once. He kept saying that he didn't want to work for another company, he wasn't happy and so on. we argued about it a lot so i left it alone. I was a offered a high paying job, so I took it and while I help out financially, he still manages to do his part. ( i would also like to note that my husband knew I wasn't telling my parents that he quit his job, and he didn't express concern only that he was sorry he was putting me in a 'tough spot').The issue comes up because I just purchased a car. Nothing too crazy or expensive, but I didn't have one and it was getting hard to share or carpool. When my father asked who paid for the car I said my husband. Because culturally and religiously its what expected of him, and I didn't want to make him look bad in front of my parents. Also it's been a year later since he's gotten a job, and I couldn't tell them now that he wasn't working.When my husband found out he was upset that my parents still didn't know he wasn't working. He said I was an AH for not telling them, and for lying about the car. I only did that so that he wouldn't be faced with even more backlash for not working. i thought I was helping him out.But am I the AH?​edit: to clarify, yes we are both practicing, and he does pay majority of expenses, from his savings/family income and such. The issue is it's not sustainable, and he's not really doing much to change it.  ",AITA for not telling my parents that my husband isn't working.,NTA
10yvlfl,"I (18F) exchanged numbers with a guy from my college class after talking with him in the hallway, at first I thought he was sweet and kind of cute. After that he began walking me out to my ride in the parking lot and insists on holding the door for me, I have no problem with this, however the third day we walked together (2 class days after exchanging numbers) I pushed open the door and he grabbed the loop of my backpack and yanked me backwards almost making me fall and told me ""how many times do I got to tell you I open it for you"" I was really nervous the rest of the way to the parking lot and when we got to my ride he told me ""you need to tell me when you're free cause I'm taking you out."" That part kind of pissed me off because I have never expressed that I'm interested in him or going out with him and the fact that he didn't ask, but stated that he was taking me out without letting me confirm i was ok with that. The next class I called a friend as I was walking out and he yelled my name in the hallway and tried to walk up to me but I held up my phone to show I was on a phone call and he backed away. Later that night he texted me asking if I was ok but I havent responded. He is starting to make me really uncomfortable, am I the asshole for avoiding him? am I being stuck up for not wanting to be around him anymore?",AITA for avoiding and ignoring a guy that likes me?,NTA
10yk7t1," **Girlfriend has an important university exam in a few days.** She hates it when someone is late. Due to the snowy conditions we talked about leaving on **Wednesday or Thursday** for her finals.At 10:30 AM on **Tuesday**, she calls me to tell me that we should leave *today* because her father told her the road conditions were going to get worse on Wednesday. OK, let me get out of bed and see what's up and I'll call you back.**So I called her at 11 AM and said:**Me: The conditions are better. We can leave today.Her: But we have to leave at 12PM or 1PM.Me: It'll be hard for me to get ready by then. I didn't expect to leave today. Let's go at 2PM!Her: No. My father will be mad at me.Me: Why would he be mad at you?Her: He said it's going to get too dark on the road if we leave at 2PM.Me: OK, let's do 1PM then.**At 12:30 PM, I realized I won't be able to get ready by 1PM. So I called her to tell her I'd be ready at 1:30PM at the earliest.***Her: Why won't you be ready? You said you would be!**Me: You know I've got to get the food ready, a lot of clothes, the bread machine, meds, etc. I didn't expect to travel today and it's taking me longer than I expected.*(I have Crohn's disease and on a very strict diet so I have to prepare everything before we leave. Travelling is a bitch.)*Her: Ok, I'm going then.**Me: What?**Her: I'm going. You know how important time is to me and how stressed I am while studying for my finals.**Me: Would an hour really make a difference?**Her: Yes.**Me: So you're willing to go by yourself there for a whole week instead of waiting an hour for me?**I don't even remember her reply, except that she reaffirmed that she's going.**Me: Alright then.***I got pretty mad after this so I called her again:***Me: If you want to be with me and be my wife in the future you'll listen to me, not your father. You're 24.**Her: Whatever, I'm going now.*\*hangs up\*At this point I'm both sad and mad and spent most of the next 10 minutes staring at a wall.**She calls me 15-20 minutes later and says:***Her: Will you be ready with everything at exactly 1:30PM?**Me: No. I thought you already left, so I stopped packing. I can be ready at 2PM.**Her: Then I'm leaving by myself.**Me: Alright.*All I did after this was text her to ask her if she got there safely and if the conditions were ok. She replied with *""Yes, I Just arrived, it was ok.""* and that was that.**Normally, my girlfriend bombards me with 10 phone calls a day but we've been silent for 3 days now.**I want to call her and hear her voice, but I think I already know what will happen. She'll blame me and say we aren't meant for eachother (?) while I'll make futile attempts to find a middle ground akin to *""Yeah, I should have gotten ready in time, but I didn't and I'm sorry. At the same time, you could have waited an hour for me instead of storming off without me.""***So, Reddit, Am I The Asshole for not calling and apologizing?**",AITA For Not Calling & Apologizing to my Girlfriend After our Fight?,NTA
10ysfqi,"Long story short, my mom is an extremely dependent person and has been coddled by my dad for years even though they’re divorced. He does almost everything for her and she’s really started to expect the same treatment from me. I don’t have anything against helping my mom, but she needs absolutely everything explained to her and whenever I do she almost immediately forgets and asks me to show her again and again. This could be as simple as using the TV remotes or learning Facebook or even skincare I got her for Christmas. There could be instructions and she’ll ask for help going through them. At this point I feel like I need to parent her and “train” her to be more self-sufficient since most of the things she “needs help” with she has everything in her power to do on her own without hand holding. This is where the AH part might come in. I’ve gotten so frustrated that if I do help her I say things like “okay, well what does that button say?” to coach her into using critical judgment (ie “if you want to turn it OFF, where might the OFF button be?” Instead of just pointing to the obvious and continuing the dependent dynamic). I’ve also gotten more extreme and straight up have been more blunt and just refusing to help, but it’s been in front of other people like my bf or her friends and I absolutely am made to feel like an unhelpful spoiled AH by her reaction. AITA?",AITA for refusing to help my (26F) mom (65F) with technology?,NTA
10yuznu,"I (20F) and my (formerly) close friend (21M) are currently college students. We got into a big blow-up argument in september-october 2022 over a myriad of things, like me acting jealous of him because of my crush on him and him having a savior complex to me and looking down upon me. For example, we went to Lollapalooza together in his hometown, and I stayed at his house for a while. He would randomly call me a raging alcoholic in front of his sisters and act like a father to me by not letting me do anything, like using the bathroom at the festival without his permission.I also said hurtful things in reaction to his low blows, like telling him he would get an STD by sleeping around with so many men + women. We are both for sure assholes for this, but we repaired our friendship through multiple long talks. We became friends again at the start of this semester in January. Now, we are on good terms and taking two classes together. Recently, in the last week, he has been responsive on social media, but when we are in person, it is so so awkward. He either gives me the silent treatment or doesn’t talk to me AT ALL during our class breaks, even when I try to initiate. The week before, we would talk entirely through these breaks, and the dynamic was amazing.We usually walk home from class together because we live in the same dorm building. For the last class, I decided to walk home alone because he didn’t speak a word to me even when I tried to talk to him (we have 15 mins before the class started and a 15-minute break). I also decided to sit away from him in today's bigger lecture class. Funny thing is, without me chasing him, he seemed very anxious … like for example, he was physically shaking and scanning the whole room to try to find me, and he also randomly exited the lecture hall to get a better look at me. Ultimately, he found me, randomly made eye contact for five seconds, and didn’t speak.He told me his ex claims he is an evil narcissist. While I initially defended him when he told me this, this hot + cold behavior and silent treatment are giving narcissism! I have the urge to cut him off because we barely talk anymore in person, I feel like I’m chasing him, I don’t really hang w him outside these classes, and most of the time, he contacts me for something… microwave, air fryer, info on the class, speechify, etc.My problem lies in him sharing a subscription w me to a text to speech service called Speechify. I pay for the premium subscription, and I offered to let him use my subscription free of charge. However, it is through my gmail, so he could potentially have access to my email and other important documents. While I don’t mind him having access to it when I trust him, I am losing that trust and connection to have him access my account after future thinking about our current dynamic.So, I removed him from my email and changed the password. AITA?","AITA, if I changed my email password to get my ""friend"" off my paid subscription?",NTA
10yuxuq,"Throwaway account for anonymity.My wife (35F) and I (36M) were lucky enough to survive the early pandemic relatively well: we had jobs that allowed us to work from home at the beginning of the pandemic, and we both had a roof over our heads and our families are OK.  My wife gained a lot of weight during the early pandemic due to multiple health problems (which are thankfully resolved now!) and was very sensitive about her appearance.  A lot of her old clothes didn't fit her anymore, but it wasn't a major issue at the beginning since nobody was going anywhere anyway and she could join Zoom meetings with the camera off.  As things started opening up again, I tried suggesting to her that she buy clothes that fit, but she always pushed back because she hated buying clothes in person and was embarrassed about her weight gain, so she didn't want the disappointment of not finding any clothes that fit.  I would always hate it when we'd go somewhere and her pants wouldn't fit or her belly would show because her shirt was too short, but she'd always brush me off.  She's lost a lot of weight in the past six months and is able to fit in her old clothes, which is a relief for both of us.  However, she recently got a better job that requires in-person meetings and more responsibilities, and I worry that her clothes don't reflect the promotion.  I've been encouraging her to buy more professional clothing, since her old clothes are from her old job when she had a lower-status job and I want her to make a good impression.  We are on her health insurance, and I worry that we'll lose our health insurance if she's fired due to inappropriate attire (I have a medical condition that requires me to take medications every day, so we need to be on a good health insurance plan).  However, whenever I ask her about buying nicer clothes, she says I'm objectifying her as a woman and that I'm TA for caring more about fashion than about her as a person.  So, AITA for wanting my wife to buy nicer clothes to make a good impression?",AITA for wanting my wife to buy nicer clothes?,YTA
10yjubc,"I (14 M) recently moved households after my grandpa died. It was very hard on the family as he was the only grandparent left on my father's side. After moving to a new house and school I made friends with a group of people who were my age. I have been battling with depression and anxiety for several years. I made this clear to my friends to spare the questions of why I was in therapy. There was person in this group who I'll call ""M"" started off nice and welcoming. As time went on and I began to open up about my life, I began to notice that he was acting off. My parents have money so my brother and I mostly got everything we've wanted. Many kids at school are not in the same boats and I have always respected that. After teachers and students found out of the loss of my grandpa, I was enrolled into a support group along with a few other kids. M began saying that he should be in the group because he felt sad over his grades. Then came the lies and manipulation. He began telling lies that were obviously told to make him seem ""better"" then I am. Ok cool like do you I honestly don't care. He also began lying about saying racial and homphobic slurs. Then he began spreading rumors about me being gay and sleeping with guys online. I am closeted and didn't want anyone to know. I then shut the rumors down and confronted him. He denied spreading the rumors but apologized. Then he brought up my grandfather. He said that he deserved to be dead because of how I am a dishonor and screw up. Then here is where I may be the asshole. He started to talk about my brother and how he is a r slur and f slur. I called him a disgusting piece of shit who is miserable in life just because he'll never be anything or anyone. I also said that if put effort into his life then maybe he wouldn't  be failing every class. He turned red and left. One of my friends said that he was being a bitch but I was an asshole for saying those things to him. I don't think I'm the asshole but after my friend told me that, I can't help but think I amAm I the Asshole?","AITA for telling a ""friend"" off after they made fun of my dead grandpa?",NTA
10yplfq," Me (24m) and my gf (22f) have been together for over 2 years. If I go out with friends for a night out she’ll ask me not to put the bedroom light on when I get back which is fair enough, I always use the torch on my phone to make sure I don’t walk into anything.Over the last couple of months there’s been a couple of nights where my gf has randomly gone into a bad mood for no reason on a night. The nights will be going fine and then she’ll just start ignoring me and say she’s sleeping on the sofa. Whenever I stop bothering to ask why and just go to bed myself, she’ll come into the bedroom a few hours later when I’m asleep and out the light on. I’ve asked what’s wrong with her and she refuses to say, she’ll either not answer or just say nothing.I asked her not to put the light on and she didn’t respond. Then last night was the same thing. We were having a good night just watching tv and then out of nowhere she just refuses to answer me when I talk to her and lays down on the sofa. I mention going to bed and she just says she isn’t. I get ready for bed and just leave her and she came to bed 2-4 hours later and out the light on, waking me up. I asked her what was wrong that was meaning she’s doing this and why she’s saying she’s sleeping on the couch then coming to bed waking me up. I told her if she does it again to not put the light on and she just said she has to to see where she’s going and that it’s her bedroom aswell.AITA for not wanting the bedroom light turned on when I'm asleep/trying to sleep?",AITA for not wanting the bedroom light turned on when I'm asleep?,NTA
10yv3f3,"AITA for always watching tv shows with my girlfriend with Chinese subtitles? When I'm putting on a show for us to watch together, usually an American one, I'll also turn on Chinese subtitles because it helps me with my Chinese studying. I can see and remember and read Chinese characters better like this and also remember the meaning of them better or even learn what new characters mean. Of course it doesnt help with pronounciation since the show is in English.My girlfriend however says she finds it annoying and told me I should turn it off. She said she finds the silly pictures on the screen irritating and doesn't understand why I would learn the language in the first place.AITA? I think she should support me more and be more understanding",AITA for always watching tv shows with my girlfriend with Chinese subtitles?,NTA
10yqx14,"AITA for kicking my flatmate out?So me and my flatmate has been living together for about 5 months. In summer I found a 2 bedroom apartment and asked him if he wanted to move with me and he said yes. The cost of living would be cheaper and I thought it would be fun to live with a friend. My flatmate had been living with his friend and said that his friend is very dirty and doesn't clean up after him. His friend was also smoking weed and my flatmate called him a pothead.So fast forward and we have moved to the new apartment and we are having fun and things are good between us. Then he went on holiday to visit his parents in another country and when he came back and it was time to pay the rent he said he didn't have any money, only about half of the rent he said he could pay. I started to wonder if this is how it was gonna be every month.........My flatmate said that his old friend who lived with him owed him 500$ so he was gonna ask him to pay him back. He didn't get the the money back because his old flatmate didn't have any money left. I was furious.Throughout the coming months my flatmate became passive aggressive and started acting like a douche.When I asked him where he was going out with or where he was going he always answered ""How so?"" or ""who's asking""?Like I'm just wondering because I want to know if I'm gonna cook for 2 people or just me. And I also want to know who he hangs out with because he lives with me and he is my flatmate.Also he never cleans or do house chores unless I tell him. I just feels like he is trying to take advantage of me. Another thing I noticed was that he would sleep for like 14 hours. Yes you heard it correctly 14 HOURS!!!!I suspected him taking drugs and asked him why he would wake up so late in the day. He always wakes up at 2am or 5am in the day. He said that he sleeps very late and that he has troubles sleeping.Fast forward a month ago and I was gonna take about his dog to poop is when I found a bottle of opioid tablets wich are highly addictive. They are the reason behind while he can't sleep. A common side effect of the drug is insomnia. I did some digging on the internet. I call my flatmate while he was at work and tell him that I found his drugs and that he better tell me what is going on.He lies to me and tells me that he is depressed which he is not. A friend of his later told me that my flatmate confessed to him that he lied to me.Yesterday I told him to move out, and he told me that he mould move out on the last of this month.What should I do? Can I call the cops and tell them to kick him out because he takes drugs? I don't want to live with him  and get involved in what he does.",AITA for kicking my flatmate out?,NTA
10ytahr,"My (22) brother (16) has no regard when it comes to my sleep. My brother, M, has to leave the house for school at 6 am. I, on the other hand, wake up for work at 9 am. M tends to go into my room when I’m at work to use my computer (to game or to do work). We have a computer downstairs but M says our younger siblings annoy him when he’s trying to concentrate, and that our parents ask him to do things etc. I’m fine with him going into my room to use the computer, and told him he can do so whenever I’m not home. Here’s the problem, every morning M wakes me up at 5:30 am because he has forgotten something in my room or he wants to borrow something of mine; forgot a notebook, forgot headphones, needed to borrow a jacket, pen- you name it. I am an extremely light sleeper and I have never been able to go back to bed easily, every time M woke me up I wouldn’t be able to sleep for another two hours. I didn’t mind it at first but soon it seemed like every other day he was waking me up three hours before I had to wake up, and my messed up sleep was making me tired at work. So I talked to M and asked him to stop forgetting his shit in my room. I told him to pack for school the night before and that he was being inconsiderate- he wouldn’t like it if I woke him up at 3 am when he had school the next day. I also started putting anything I found of his outside my door before I went to bed. It got less frequent but still he was waking me up to borrow things or get something I missed. So I gave him an ultimatum: Stop waking me up or stop using my computer. This worked for about a week. Then he did it again. I was so fed up with his disorganization and how little he cared. So I stuck to my guns and told him he can’t come into my room anymore and he’d have to use the computer downstairs. He made a fuss but ultimately he couldn’t really do anything about it. Two weeks go by and again I hear knocking. M says “Hey OP, I’m really sorry I forgot my glasses in here yesterday do you mind passing them”.  I was pissed he went into my room when I told him not to, and that he was pulling this shit again. So I didn’t answer the door. M has very bad eyesight and is far sighted. I knew he had a math final that morning. He keeps knocking for a good 20 mins, I don’t answer and he eventually leaves. I knew I was just getting back at him at this point, but I was too pissed off to care. He failed the test. The kid’s good at math so I know it’s most likely because he struggled to read the questions.  Parents think I’m TA. I feel bad that he failed a final, but feel like I made myself clear.",AITA for knowingly letting my brother fail his Math test?,NTA
10ypumw,"I recently moved to an apartmentplace where theres apparently a lot of retired folks, most around 60-80 y.o.A few days after i moved in an elderly man who lives in a 90 degree angle to my balcony windows started coming to his windows and looking at me every time i go outside. He will even put his hands up to make fake binoculars, to see me better. I tested if he in fact is looking at me by waving to him. He instantly looked like he was confused but he waved back, and then kept looking at me through the window. The way he does it is that he will look at me for maybe 4 minutes then go away from the window and the come back to look again. Since he is not my immediate neighbour i went to talk to my immediate neighbour and asked if he does the same to him. He said he does. I dont like feeling watched in my own home, it makes me uncomfortable. I want to go and talk to him about giving me privacy on my balcony, but my neighbour says IWBTA if i do so as he is just a curious old man. I tried to explain that im not gonna be mean to him but that i just want to ask if i can help him with something since he is always looking pr something like that, but my neighbour insists id be the asshole as he is just an old man curious about the neighbours. Would i really be the asshole if i went to talk to the man about it?",WIBTA if i spoke to my elderly neighbour about not looking through my windows?,NTA
10ypsht,"This happened a couple of years ago, and I was recently thinking about it and whether I was wrong or not. I'm genuinely open to being told I was TA here, because I'm genuinely not sure what was right.Every January, I give something up. It's always chocolate, but often I'll add something else to up the challenge. This started because I would eat too much over the Christmas period and relapse into food addiction. I'd go cold turkey to fight it. This particular year, I gave up basically everything: all sweet things, all snacks (crisps and popcorn etc.), all fizzy drinks, all animal products and all social media. I was really feeling the challenge that year. In February, I was planning on keeping on with only some of the challenge: I could eat animal products again and have fizzy drinks, but still no snacks, sweets or social media.It's important to note that I started this job in early January. Many people thought I was always vegan and never ate chocolate.At the place where I worked, everyone would celebrate people's birthdays with a small, short gathering and a cake during lunch. This time, two cakes were bought. One normal cake and one vegan ice cream cake, specially for me. I thought this was very sweet. However, I refused it, despite being very thankful, saying I am actually not vegan, and I'm not allowing myself to eat any sweets still. It made me feel awful, but I'm very strict with my rules. Every single person told me that I HAD to eat it, since it was bought for me. I eventually felt pressured into eating a bit and breaking my fast. But I really didn't want to. So, what was the right course of action here? Stick to my guns or eat cake specially bought for me with good intentions at heart? Was I TA?",AITA for refusing a cake specially bought for me?,NTA
10yoz70,"(Throw away account, bc I don't want my family to find out)Little backstory.When I (f19) was 16 I got pregnant, not too proud of it but shit happens. I had full intent on raising the baby but wasn't sure on how to tell my mom, but before I could tell her I had a miscarriage. By now I had to have been pregnant for 3/4 months, never had a check up so I just went on my motherly instinct and determined it was a girl and gave her a name to remember her by. It's a name that I've never really heard before in our country. Let's call her ''Vall'' for the story. Only a close couple friends knew what had happend, and were aware of the name. Now we are 3 years further, and last year a close friend of mine (f20) lets call her Melanie (who was there for me during my miscarriage and was aware of my baby's name), got pregnant. I was really excited for her and contact between us was great. However contact started to fade after she found out her baby was girl, I thought pregnancy stress and hormones were just getting to her. However, when I found out she had a babyshower and didn't invite me I felt a bit hurt. I went on with life afterwards and didn't speak to her again.Recently a friend of mine who wasn't aware of my miscarriage and of the fact me and Melanie stopped talking asked me: 'Don't you think Vall is the cutest little baby ever?' I was obviously shocked hearing that name being said to me, and asked her what she ment by that. She then went on to explain how cute Melanie's baby.After this I was so hurt, I felt so betrayed. I decided to just call Melanie up and ask her about it, to which I got a very harsh: 'Your baby is dead, mine isn't. I liked the name so I named my baby it. You weren't even old enough to be a mom yet and didn't know the actual gender so giving your dead baby a name seems unnecessary anyways' I completely lost it and called her every name in the book, asking her how dare she talk about my daughter like that. She now goes around social media and my friend group twisting the story into me being jealous and a bad person and how she doesn't deserve to be cussed out like that.AITA for the way I reacted?",AITA for getting mad at a friend for taking my baby name?,NTA
10ysene,"My grandmother asked me two days prior if I wanted to go to the museum with her and I told her I would think about it. I never said yes. She bought both of our tickets ($27) for a morning showing at 10am to 1pm. I work from 12pm - 12am. She said she wanted to leave at 5am so we could beat traffic and offered to drive but I said I had work but she asked if I had a sick day I could take. She woke me up at 4:30am, asked if I was ready and I said I never told her yes. She said “okay fine, I’ll just waste my money”. I paid her $40 and she left. I know that she wants to spend time with me and I love her but I feel like she was being inconsiderate. AITA?(Sidenote: The special viewing is the last day the exhibit will be there until next year. She wanted to go)",AITA For not going with my grandmother to the museum?,YTA
10yttg3,"Update: looks like the general consensus is I am the asshole for making him feel guilty.  I accept the judgment.Thanks for helping me see the situation from a different perspective. My youngest daughter lives with her dad. We split about 2.5 years ago and about 8 months ago moved to a city 1h drive away due to health, family, money and my new partner. I made sure I picked her up and drop her off every weekend, however 4 weeks ago got sciatica that made me unable to drive. I'm not able to sit for more than few minutes. My current partner helps me with my daughter and drives us places, picks her up and drops her off. I asked my ex (daughter's dad) to drive her one way because it's not fair on my partner to keep doing it but ex says he is not going to do it for me. I'm pissed off that my partner cares more that my daughter see me than her own dad. AITA for telling this to my ex, trying to make him feel guilty and me being angry and disappointed?",AITA for asking my ex for help?,YTA
10ytlxx,"So my (23f) boyfriend (29m) does not like that I will be having a guy friend (23m) roommate with me soon. He thinks im being an asshole. But, my boyfriend and I cannot live together. He has a kid and doesn't want to move out of his apartment in the country three houses down from baby mamma. I live in the hood so I can understand. His landlord doesn't allow dogs and I have two! However, I'll be moving to a nice neighborhood much closer to his baby momma in the summer. (I have never asked him to move in with me, but I tell you all this because it matters for other reasons). I'll be able to drive to him more (it's a 30 minute drive right now). Anyways, I lost my job. I have had no income for a month. I'm down to 100 in my savings account. I was thinking if I get a roommate then I'll be able to afford bills and see my boyfriend again since he can't even visit me at my apartment even when his kid is at the baby mammas. He doesn't like my neighborhood. My boyfriend is the one who decided we will be having friends of the opposite gender. Not me. And he has had a lot of females snapchatting him and I stayed out of it because he claims they're just friends. But, I'm not allowed to have a guy roommate? Ive never slept with this guyfriend and I'd never sleep with him. He just is idk not my type in terms of characteristics or looks.",AITA for having a guy friend be my roommate while in a relationship,NTA
10ytkhy,"Basically for context, last night I had upcycled an old skirt of mine that was wayyy too long; I had my sister try it on and my sister thought it was her skirt. I reassured her that it was in fact not her skirt and she had nothing to worry about; she then starts being rude and talking in a (what I would say) hostile tone towards me. I just simply gave up talking to her, but you could see that I was upset from the conversation beforehand when I went to talk to my mom. I went in there to ask if she's seen my tank top, and she asked what happened with my sister, I explained to her that she thought the skirt was hers and she became hostile over it. My mother then began to lecture me over ""mutilating a perfectly good skirt"". I told her that I didn't come talk to her to be lectured, so I walked up and started heading to my room. The walls in my house are pretty thin so as I walked away I heard her saying things such as I was a ""brat"", and ""disrespectful"", and I'm sure more things that I couldn't make out entirely; I was upset over hearing these things and yelled back ""quit badmouthing me to yourself"".   Now, this morning I got woken up to being screamed at that I needed to apologize or else she'd force me to go to school (I'm sick and am limiting myself to being inside to not spread it). I sat up in bed and about 2 or 3 minutes later, she stormed into my room demanding the apology. I apologized and said ""I don't get how I'm in the wrong"" and she said something along the lines of ""because you never talk to your mom like that, you're so disrespectful, apologize and act like the adult you want to be so badly""; so I then apologized and she said that I didnt mean it, ran up to her room and then I hear her sobbing. I don't really understand who's in the wrong here then, so AITA? TL;DR  I told my mom to not badmouth me when she thinks I can't hear her, she starts crying and I'm forced into saying sorry.",AITA for telling off my mom and making her cry?,NTA
10yt8q0,"I'm traveling in a fairly conservative patriachial country as a female-presenting person, and I am staying in a budget hotel that has laundry machines (washing machines and dryers) onsite. Important: using the washing machine is free, but dryers cost money.Said machines have signs on them saying to get the keys for locking from reception. The occupancy status of each machine is also updated on a screen on the TV in your room. I checked that the machines I wanted to use - let's call them W1 and D1 - weren't in use on the TV, and went to get the keys from the reception. Neither of the machines I had got the keys for were in use when I got to the laundry room, so I then put my stuff to wash into W1, started it, and locked it. In the interim, to prevent anyone from starting to use D1, I also locked it. I then went back to my room.I got back to W1 just as the rinse cycle was finishing and unlocked D1 to find that someone else had left their wet laundry inside without starting the dryer. Given that there were boxers in the wet laundry, I assumed that it was a man. (Note that there is a cultural thing about strangers touching the underwear of the opposite sex.) I proceeded to put all the wet laundry into the dryer next to D1, started D1, and locked it. I then went back to my room. I came back to the laundry room just as my dryer cycle was finishing, and pulled my stuff out of the dryer. There was a guy at the corridor outside of the laundry room staring intently at the machines. I then opened the dryer next to D1 with the intent to put the laundry back into D1 without realising it was running, but immediately closed it when I realised that it was. When I opened the dryer, the guy in the corridor gave me a look, and I suppose he must have figured out that I was the one who put his stuff in the second dryer. I skedaddled without checking if his dryer continued to run.So, am I the asshole?",AITA for putting another person's laundry into a different dryer?,YTA
10ypevq,"I’ve been playing drums for over a year now and am starting to get really good at it, it was always agreed with my mother that she’d pick me up afterwards because I’m 16 and a girl and it’s dark by the time it ends and is far away from home. However, she recently told me that she wouldn’t be able to pick me up anyone because she’s started going to tai chi classes and i would have to get the bus home, which i would be fine with, if it wasn’t for the fact that it’s dark by the time i leave and getting the bus would require me waiting at a bus stop where I’ve been harassed before. I explained the issue of my safety and she instead called me rude for expecting her to pick me up even though she has always picked me up and always mentions my safety when she’s trying to stop me from doing something. She then suggested that I should quit drumming as a solution. When I asked her if there were any other days of the week she could do tai chi she said no, yet when i sent her a screenshot showing another day she could do it, she got angry at me and told me that she had plans on that day. I explained that I thought it was fair of me to ask her to sacrifice one of the many activities she already does in a week so that I could do the one thing I really enjoy doing.She completely ignored this and said she shouldn’t have to stop doing something so that i don’t have to wait 30 minutes at a bus stop. Completely ignoring that the issue isn’t the wait but instead my safety. When i explained this, she told me that our conversation was over and that i clearly had no respect for her.I have talked to many people who agree that it’s wrong of a parent to put something they’ve been doing for a few weeks over something their child has been doing for over a year and a half and really enjoy. And that the fact I’ve been approached by men before at that bus stop clearly shows that it’s not safe for a teenage girl at that time. so, Am I the asshole?",AITA For Wanting My Mother To Change Her Plans,NTA
10yv4ud,"Hello! So you might be wondering, why would I be posting this in February, when Christmas was in Dec? Well here's the story, and I can't tell if I'm the Asshole.So back in December, my homeroom class decided to do a secret santa. I drew this guy, lets call him Andrew. So I drew Andrew, and I decided to get a basic, Starbucks gift. The website we used to draw also let people put a Wishlist. At the same time, I was very busy packing for a big trip, and of course studies as well. I did not have much time to go out to get something more elaborate, but up until that point he had not put anything on the website. On the day that we had to give the gift, I was feeling a bit sick, plus there was even more packing to do and we were going to fly the next day (I swear trips visiting back home are so tedious), so I stayed at home and I did not get to give the gift, which means I also did not receive a gift for secret santa. Now, since I came back (around the start of January) Andrew keeps asking me where his gift is. I honestly forgot that I got that card, so I said ""I'll get you something off your wishlist"". But, after some time I realized that I also did not get a gift, and it's kind of unfair. It's unfair because the whole point is that you spend money, but then someone else also spends money and gets you a gift so its beneficial for all. Now, Andrew and his friend both think I'm being unreasonable/unfair for not getting a gift card, but I dont think I am.AITA?",AITA for not wanting to give a secret gift?,YTA
10ylu23,"So I have a niece, 21F, let's call her Sarah. Sarah has been raised well, has a good amount of money, and recently got married.The other day, we were in a family gathering, and one of my sisters ( not Sarah's mother) had bought me a box of expensive chocolates. It looked kind of weird/ old but I didn't really do anything about it since that's what I thought it looked like. Anyways, I saw Sarah eyeing it and looking uncomfortable/needy. I asked her what was wrong and she said ""C-can I have those chocolates?"" I agreed since I didn't really need it and I was feeling generous. Today, I got a call from Sarah's mother (one of my sisters) and she was fuming! She said that Sarah and her husband had gotten food poisioning and it was all my fault! I told her I wasn't the one that bought it and I had gotten it as a gift from my other sister. Sarah's mother just completely closed the call in my face. Whatever.I was sort of ignorant until I got a message from Sarah requesting 50$ (the price of those chocolates) I called her and explained I wasn't the one that bought them and that it was a gift and she was the one who decided to take it. Sarah kept getting angrier and angrier and kept requesting the money.I feel kind of bad since I saw that the chocolates looked spoiled but I didn't do anything.So, AITA?UPDATE:Sarah wants money since I apparently was the ne who gave it to her. I told her that was BS and she still didn't care, and kept demanding the money even more",AITA for not knowing the chocolate was spoiled?,NTA
10yuwi0,"I, 17M, live with my father and step mother. I visit my mother once a week to see my siblings and such, so I don’t lose touch.Recently, my mother allowed some family to borrow my truck without my permission. My truck is kept at her house as I don’t have enough car space for it all. The general agreement was that my mom was free to use my truck, as long as she took care of it. The family members that borrowed the truck were supposed to give it back in the first week of February, however that didn’t happen, and they are still actively using it. My mom needed a way to take my siblings to the doctors, and asked me to skip school to make it happen. I offered instead for her to just borrow my car and pick me up the next day, as I take academics very seriously and I don’t like missing school. She called me a ‘f***** up piece of s***’ and hung up on me. Because of this, I haven’t spoke with her this week as I feel like she could apologize for flipping out for no reason.On top of that, the fuel pump on my truck went out, so I have to get that fixed before anyone can use it. She flipped out when she heard the news.This morning, she called me and asked if I planned on coming over for my visit. I told her I already did, on Sunday. She said that it didn’t count and now wants me to hand over my trucks title because of the fuel pump issue. I told her no, and that I wasn’t coming today. She has since threatened to show up at my school/job if I don’t go there. I’ve since stopped responding. Should I just give her the title (it’s in my name, along with the registration)?EDIT: The reason for her trying to get the title is unclear, but I imagine it isn’t anything good because of the fact that she’s demanding I give it to her today or face consequences.EDIT 2: I currently have the truck. The relatives reached out to me to let me know about the fuel pump. I never gave my mother permission to lend the truck out for that long of a period, so I was irritated with her as well. She’s mad because they didn’t bring my truck to her.",AITA for refusing to see my mother today?,NTA
10yuugc,"I (17f) was chosen to be a bridesmaid to a family friend Hope (24f) wedding. I saw Hope as my big sister. She helped my family when our apartment flooded and she paid for a new homecoming dress because it was destroyed by the flood.  Hope is nothing but kind and thoughtful. She is someone who would help anyone who needs it.  Recently she got engaged and started planning her wedding. Her wedding colours are red and black. Since she recently told everyone that she's wearing a black dress. She wants her bridesmaids to wear red.  So when we went to pick out bridesmaids dresses, her soon to be sister in law started complaining about her dress.  She said ""red isn't her colour"" and how ""well this dress doesn't flatter me"". Even though Hope and the rest of the bridesmaids love the dress. Then Sil starts telling us how if it was her wedding, it wouldn't be that tacky and stupid. I just had enough and told her "" It's not your day, it's Hope's day. You're not even paying for the dress and you're ruining everyone's fun because you are nothing but jealous that your little brother is getting married before you. Either shut up or change and leave "".Sil left and sent a text in the group chat on how I made her cry. She said that I was rude and had no reason to go off on her like that. Now Sil and some in-laws won't go to the wedding and Hope is beyond hurt. But am I an asshole?",AITA for telling a family friend's soon to be SIL off?,ESH
10yuov3,"My wife and I are recent empty nesters. We decided to visit Orlando recently and invite our kids to come. We told them each they could bring one other person. We paid for lodging, food (If they ate with us), and transportation. Two of our 3 kids took us up on the offer.Our youngest son (19M) and his wife (20F) weren't sure if they would be able to come. We set a deadline of letting us know 4 weeks before the date, as we would have to fly them and plane tickets go up in price close to the date. They finally said they would go only 2.5 weeks before the date. I looked at the flights and picked ones that fit our budget and their schedule. I confirmed with them before I bought the tickets the times they would leave and return, they agreed. I didn't specifically give all of the flight details. The flight coming was a direct flight, the returning flight had a 60 minute layover. Both of them are new fliers.They were only able to stay with us for 3 days/ 2 nights of our week stay, which was fine. They work essentially graveyards, and worked right before and after the trip.To make a long story short, they spent all of one day at the parks with us, and mostly just slept. We would have been fine just having them stay with us while we were there, but they said before they wanted to go to the parks...I dropped them off at the airport 2 hours before their flight. An hour later their flight wasn't boarding yet and they had a tight layover at the next airport, and they freaked out. The delay cut their projected layover to 40 mins. I tried to help them as best I could, but their layover was getting short.About this time my son sent a very nasty text message to my wife, basically accusing me of being an AH for not booking a direct flight for them. They got on their flight.The flight was slow in the air, and my DIL called us from the back of the plane saying their next flight was boarding and they couldn't get off the plane and freaking out. My wife and I told them basically get your stuff together, get off the plane as quickly as you can and run to the next airplane, and you should be okay. They said they would call us when they got off the plane, we told them no (Forcefully), they needed to concentrate completely on making their flight. They made it, apparently had to beg to get on the flight (According to them), but they made their flight and made it home in the end on their original flight, with no word when they arrived.It is worth noting that they were scheduled to work right after getting home, which contributed to their anxiety. My wife and I likely would have helped them out if they asked nicely for help (With rent because they missed a day of work), we've helped them a number of times with such things.So AITA for not booking a direct flight for my kids who told us 1.5 weeks after our cutoff that they still wanted to come on a trip we paid for almost completely for them?",AITA for not booking a direct flight?,NTA
10yopwm,"We have a two week trip to Australia planned and my gfs single sister always comes along, I think it’s great but sometimes feels like threes a crowd and everything revolves around them getting to do lots of tours and excursions i might not be into and never really being ableto chill with my girl one on one…every meal is the three of us and it can be uncomfortable if we have a argument and she’s there for it…we’ve been fighting a lot about it and she thinks i’m a paranoid a$hole, but i think most men would have a issue with it…am i wrong?",AITA for not wanting gf’s sister on our trips?,NTA
10yu7bl,"My (F24) friend, let’s call her Liz(f23), invited me to her bridal shower set to take place later this year. We have been friends for ~5 years. She was a bridesmaid in my wedding. Problem is I haven’t talked to her since then. Her fiancé (m~30) was a guest at our wedding and was very inappropriate. He hit on another one of my bridesmaid, he was ripping his shirt while on the dance floor, etc. Liz and him ended up leaving around 8:30pm and went to another bar to get drunk! I made it clear that I expected my bridesmaids to stay until the end and help clean up and none had an issue with that. Now, over a year later, Liz invited me to her bridal shower. I do not want to go because this isn’t the first time her fiancé has acted like this. I would love to support my friend, but I think she’s making a huge mistake. Would I be the asshole for not going to bridal shower or wedding?",WIBTA if I didn’t go to my friends wedding?,NTA
10yrypg,"At the end of last year I was terribly ill from COVID and I couldn’t meet my friend for a while, she lives on the other side of England about 1.3h away. COVID knocked the wind out of me and I wasn’t too good until Jan. I called my friend and I spoke to her it’s now been over a year that we have properly spoke, I have been the one to text and it was me who planned the meet up the end of last year however I got I’ll as said above. I called her earlier this week and spoke to her and asked if she wanted to meet up. She was very much like everything is amazing going on and I’m so busy and I’ll let you know. She said she’s free in July this year for lunch. July, now this is something I was shocked about because I’ve never known someone to not be free but then I said to my friend I don’t feel like she values me as a friend. I was told TAH for thinking that and I’m entitled.EDIT: I said I didn’t feel like she valued me as a friend for meeting up and to meet up in July sounded like she doesn’t really want to meet me and made me feel like I’m not priority as a friend to meet sooner for an hour. We would also meet half way.",AITA for voicing my opinion to my friend?,NTA
10yrtjj,"First time poster, so please be forgiving. I've read lots of other posts, so I'm hoping for the wisdom of the crowd here.I am 50 living at home with wife and adult kids. My hearing is slowly starting to deteriorate. I've not had it tested, but I'd guess about 10-20% or so since where I used to have the volume on the TV on 2, I now have it on 3-4ish.Hearing aids would help, but I really don't want to get them until its absolutely necessary. This is for a variety of reasons, e.g vanity, inconvenience, and also I regularly get buildups of wax in my ears when using headphones.I've asked for accommodation, such as putting subtitles on the tv, but my family don't want this as it ""takes them out of the movie"". To be fair, they have never really liked foregin language/subtitled films for the same reason (although I have). When I ask them to speak up they tease me (kindly), and tell me I should get aids, and sometimes will speak louder, or sometimes not. But it can also be the cause of argument/frustration, the general direction of which is that their point of view is that I am the problem cos I wont get aids, whereas I think the problem could be solved with the accommodations above.I also sometimes have music/TV quite loud, but I try and do it behind closed doors, but when someone enters the room I get told all about them. Occasionally too, when I have the remote, I turn the TV up but they seem to think I am doing that on purpose to annoy them, and we go back to me being the problem because I wont get aids.AITA for refusing to get hearing aids if I don't think I need them yet?",AITA for refusing to get hearing aids if I don't think I need them yet?,YTA
10yluus,"My (26f) nephew(26m) is temporarily staying with me until him and his girlfriend figure out their situation.Background: she kicked him out because he is obnoxious and they just had a baby. So his antics were stressing her out.He drinks water and purposely makes the gulping noise. He makes his yawns unnecessarily loud. And he purposely has his phone volume up so everyone can hear the notification and typing. We All know he does this on purpose. He has been doing it since he was 13. He thinks it’s funny.I usually get home by 1 and don’t fall asleep til 3. I have insomnia, so I have trouble falling and staying asleep. He doesn’t have work until 11 am but wakes up at 5 to use the bathroom. For the past 3 days he has been waking me up to the sounds of his loud ass pissing. Like he pisses hard af and accompanies it with grunts and groans and slamming. The first time I let it slide.second time I told him he can’t be doing all that and how that wakes me up. He smiled and said he will keep it down. 3rd time he did stopped the grunting and groaning, but his stream still wakes me up. I told him he is going to have to sit and pee or start using the lobby bathroom.I’m thinking if I lock the bathroom door from 2-8 then he would have to respect my house and my sleep and stop being loud in the bathroom.",WIBTA if I locked the bathroom door,NTA
10yr42l," Hi all this took place this morning,My husband and I live with family at the moment. A friend/neighbour of my grandma's came over this morning with a bunch of household documents that she wanted my grandma to keep for safekeeping. I mentioned to my grandma that I did not think she should get involved. Anyway, I mentioned to my husband that I don't think my grandma should get involved and he said well maybe the friend doesn't want the husband to get a hold of the documents. I replied *that may be true but I would be mad if you gave our shared household documents to your friend* \[without passing it by me\]. When saying this I just meant to draw a comparison about how I think my grandma shouldn't get involved in someone else's relationship. My husband got mad and said that I was comparing him and accusing him of doing the same, which I never did. I said it would be true for anyone else and it's not personal to him i.e. if my mum and I had shared documents and she gave them to someone else I would also be mad, similar if it was me and literally anybody else (friend, sibling, etc). He was still mad and made a comment (I can't remember what he said it wasn't super mean but it wasn't nice either), and his reasoning was that it's my fault he's upset because I said a bad thing to him.So I guess what I to know is AITA for saying I would be mad if he did the same, even though it was just in passing and hypothetical, I do not think he would do that I was just explaining why I think my grandma should not be getting involved? It's stressing me out that he twists what I say - or maybe I'm the one that needs to better communicate according to him? I think I may be TA because of how mad he is and he said I said bad things to him.Any response appreciated, thanks.",AITA for making a kind-of comparison between my husband and the neighbour's husband?,NTA
10yqpls,"Ok back story. This has been bothering me for a bit. I (40f) had a best friend (37f) for about 18 years.  And are no longer talking because I made the comment we are not the same as a joke.Background: first let me say I believe in second chances. 4 years ago we had a trip planned to goTo Vegas and La for Billboard Music Awards and a few BTS concerts. 3 weeks prior to our trip I ended up in cardiac ICU. But I was adamant I was still going because this was a big trip and paid for. We went and I was a bit withdrawn ( being in icu messed me up really bad to where I have ptsd from it) on day 3 she freaked out and said she wanted to go home and be with her kids (she's done multiple trips without her kids, 2 cruises and a trip to Ireland the same year as our trip) im agoraphobic when I am alone. But I understood. I was going to be meeting friends in LA anyway. It was the night of the BBMAs so I had to get over my fear and go alone and I did and I made 2 new friends. In all honesty I think she lied about it and didn't want to meet up with my BTS friends because she didn't know them. One of our group chat friends (she's not in the gc) needed a ride from Vegas to la - mind you this girl was already staying with us in LA to begin with she was just able to get tickets to BBMAs last min. And I had no issues with her catching a ride with us since she  was staying with us in LA already. My friend did. please understand my friend outside this friend group knew we were staying with and meeting up with my group of friends in LA since day 1 of planning this trip. I get home and she flips out of me and gaslights me into thinking it was my fault she went home because of how I ""came off"" on the trip and it wasn't she wanted to see her kids. I was a little withdrawn yes, 3 weeks out of cardiac icu and being so far from home I was anxious and popping Ativan to make it through the trip.So I stopped talking to her. It was not my fault she chose to leave and was not going to let her gaslight me into thinking I did something wrong. Fast forward to the start of the pandemic. I am immunocompromised so things were stressful for me and she texted me saying if I needed anything to let her know. And it started our friendship back up. We were texting one day and she sends me a pic of a $400 coach purse while I was looking at washi tape and I laughed and said ""your looking at $400 purses and I'm buying washi tape we are not the same people"" obviously a joke. She flipped out on me told me off, then blocked me on literally everything. Didn't give me a chance to apologize for hurting her feelings with the comment nothing.I don't think the joke was in bad taste at all but if I hurt her feelings I would have apologized. We've been friends for 18 years and she knows my sense of humor Was I the asshole for that joke?","AITA for saying ""we are not the same people""",NTA
10yvqa6,"Pretty self explantory.  Our first desk employee consistly tells customers when an employee is out of the office, exactly why they're not it.  Examples:  surgery, covid, getting married, family issue, that kind of thing.  She's been asked not to do that by other employees, but it doesn't sink in.  I haven't really pressed the issue.  I was the person that trained her when I got promoted.  I made it clear this is a not ok.  My boss has pretty much left me to handle issues with her me, unless it's something major.  Well now I'm angry.I had to leave work early on Wednesday to pick my daughter up from school due to being sick (strep).  One of my appointments couldn't be rescheduled for one of my coworkers agreed go get the pictures I needed, and I would email the customer the following day.  We do this for each other when needed.  I took care of this when I returned yesterday.I just got a response from my customer, and the first line of the email was how he was told I had left early because my child was sick to pick her up, and he hoped she felt better.  I appreciate the sentiment, but that is not information ANY customer should have, for any reason.  I'm angry that instead of telling the customer I had emergency, the front desk person gave specifics, AGAIN.  AITA for being angry about this, or am I being ridiculous?",AITA for being angry that a coworker for giving customers personal information about employees?,NTA
10yvowx,"Iʼm the owner of a small restaurant. After having multiple bad experiences with  children in the restaurant and having customers and my team complain about said kids, I decided to enforce an age restriction. Kids under the age of 12 arenʼt allowed to enter the restaurant anymore. This rule might sound too harsh, but it had to be done. Ever since I enforced the age restriction, my restaurant has attracted more customers and the atmosphere inside is way better. I still get a lot of backslash from angry parents, but most people in my area are surprisingly supportive. My brother lives in a different city and came to visit our parents with his wife and their 4 year old son. Today they wanted to eat at my restaurant and brought their child with them. They knew about the age restriction, but thought I would make an exception because theyʼre family. I explained them that I would not make an exception, because itʼs against my rules and it would be unfair to the other parents. They got mad, but eventually left after trying to argue. My brother told our parents and other siblings what happened and now everyone is sending me angry messages about it. At first I didnʼt think I was in the wrong, but all these messages are making me question it. Am I the asshole?","AITA for not letting my brother, his wife and their toddler into my age restricted restaurant?",NTA
10yqgxj,"I live in a decent neighborhood and pretty much keep to myself. New neighbors moved in behind me about a year ago and I talked to them maybe twice. Just introductions and quick small talk but I'm not one to just walk out and do the whole ""Howdy neighbor!"" thing.I work from home and saw they were having their roof redone, which can involve a lot of pounding, scraping, workers making noise, etc. They started at 7:00 am but I know the job has to get done, so it's no big deal. I have a 6 foot wooden privacy fence around my yard and noticed some of the old shingles were landing on my fence and in my yard. I saw a guy who looked like a foreman, so I ran downstairs and outside to ask if he was in charge, and he said he was. I very nicely said I saw shingles in my yard and asked if they would be cleaned up, and he said he would do it himself. I literally said, ""I understand they have a job to do, but if they could toss things in the front or back instead of in my direction, it would be appreciated."" I told him where the gate was since he said he would clean things up, and I did notice him a few times during the day going back to get things thrown in my yard.I didn't peer out my window all day because I didn't think I needed to keep tabs on anyone. When I got off work, the daylight was pretty low, and I don't normally peer out into my yard anyway. This morning, I let my dogs out and noticed right along the fence in my yard were torn up pieces of shingle bags that were tossed into my yard. I walked out, picked them up, and dropped them on the other side of the fence. It just felt disrespectful that I asked the foreman to have them throw their garbage in their own area which he agreed to tell them to do. But I still found more garbage this morning. Am I the asshole?",AITA for tossing garbage back into my neighbor's yard?,NTA
10yl9c0,"For context:Last year my dad gave my mom custody of me when I thought it would be in my best interests to. A little over 3 months ago we moved to Japan, which is fine and all, if the following wasn’t happening:1. My mom is not in the best financial place because before this she brought us on a trip to Vegas to play Bingo2. My mom took me and my younger brother out of online school right before leaving and we haven’t been able to go to school since3. I am still under a (now extended) visitors visaBasically the online school made my mother mad, so she took me and brother out, haven’t put us in any other sort of school, and now we (my brother and I) are being “homeschooled” by her because she couldn’t get the SOFA status job she told us she’d get so me and my brother can go to school. By homeschool she only told us once to look up a topic without any guidance and left it at that.Now I’ve decided that I don’t want to stay here, because this isn’t really for me (plus I feel upset that I can’t understand anyone here no matter how hard I try)My mother is upset at this reasonably, but she said she may not feel as though this would be best for me to leave. How is it not though? Either way I will be forced to leave the country again in May. So I planned on recording a conversation where I bring out these very obvious points to her that she is fully aware of just in case she won’t allow me to go back. However I feel like that would break her trust, and be an invasion of privacy. (As you see, my mom herself is quite the manipulative asshole, as many people on both sides of my family don’t approve of many harmful things she’s done)[EDIT: Even though my mom does not work for the military, she believes she can get a sofa status job, and I’m not sure how that works. Also I have already had a trip to South Korea and back because my visa expired once, hence the extended visitors visa. Also I don’t know any Japanese, and neither does she. So that’s always fun]Would I be the Asshole?",WIBTA If I Were to Record a Conversation Between my Mom and I?,NTA
10ypvre,Writing this on mobile and I also have dyslexia so sorry for that Me (f37) am mother to 5 kids 4 at home my oldest 20f works part time the past year or so she's been a nightmare to live with always being snappy rude and ungrateful by this I mean at 20 she earns about £250 pw each week I send her a text saying rent at expenses £70 then I inc discounts such as helped with the house did a school run and her biggest discount is if she baby sits when she dose this her 3 brothers 16 13 and 10 are already in bed bit I work it out each week so her balance to owe is 0 I don't up her cost if her bf is here and I also supply all his meals washing ect when he is So last night I made dinner served it and asked her to clean the kitchen  afterwards I always havr a rule everyone rinses their own plates however I haven't had time to shower in days and her dad was rushing to gey to work as hr works night so we both left our plates on the table She left them there and cleaned rest when I said wtf why didn't u clean the table she was snappy and started moaning that I always say to rise own plates I got very annoyed at this and said that's fine I won't add any discounts to your bill this week I do you washing I do you cooking I stand and wash your trainers for u when u need it I scrub all your white work uniforms I dry them and I iorn them for u I dint ask u to buy shopping or anything at all yet you want to be petty about a cpl of plates so she said that's fine you can find a new baby sitter then To witch I said that's abosloutely fine as you can find somewhere else to live if your going to be so petty over 2 plates when abosloutely everything else is done for you in life maybe it's time you seen just how hard reap life is So yea aita in this or is she making a fool of me?,AITA am I wrong to ask my daughter to leave,NTA
10yhvn5,"I (32M) have this friend (35F) for some years now and we used to hang a lot because since the pandemic we came back to our home town where not a lot of friends from the old days were here anymore or were married and distant and we found each other's company nice to go to bars and events we both like (nothing romantic in this relationship, just healthy friendship).Recently she had a baby from this toxic guy she dated on and off after many break ups and me telling her to just avoid him and not letting him get close to her anymore, since he always found a way to mend things and get back together. I know it's common, but I tried talking him bad even if I knew she would tell him everything I said. He didn't like me and I didn't like him back, but it's OK we had our group and would go out together without any conflicts.Classic pregnancy after last ultimate break up. She always wanted to be a mom and decided to embrace this new adventure. I asked her many times if that was really what she wanted knowing it would be a difficult relationship with the father of the upcoming child forcing him to hang around for the rest of her life. She claimed she could manage. Ok, fine.She doesn't have an easy personality. She has the ""strong personality"" and has pushed almost every friend and family apart, even her psycho mother who had to be moved out of my friend's house because she was making drama about her when the pregnant friend was needing help with pregnancy.After all the trouble and the toxic ex making her life a misery, the baby came and I was there the entire time, always showing up and helping her with whatever she needed. Now that the baby is 4 months old and she kinda have her life put together, I started ghosting her in a few weekends because she only wants to hang in her house (for obvious diaper and crying reasons) but she is always tired and complaining about the ex (that i tried to kick out of her life many times and now is being a toxic parent to her baby). I'm one of the three friends she has left, and probably the one who still go to her almost every week. But I'm kinda tired of going to her house where I will only talk to her about baby stuff, and listen to her complaints while a lot of friends are hanging out in bars and parties and keep inviting me to be with them.I feel like the AH for ""abandoning"" her in this time of need, but I feel like I've been 6 months of my life just helping this one friend after she completely ignored every advice of ""don't go that way"" while the other friends really wanna hang with me.We are good friends, but still I can't make my whole life about her and ignore my other friends all the time, and she keeps telling me to come over and help her cuz she's too tired or she needs to talk to someone because shes feeling depressed, but it's very energy consuming and now I'm feeling tired and my subconscious just keeps trying to get me away from her.What do you guys think?","AITA for ""abandoning"" a new mom friend?",NTA
10yvqpg,"A very close friend is about to get married, and as far as I know, they don't have a gift registry. I don't really know his soon to be wife as most of our time spent together is us going out, doing our favourite sport.I want to get him a stand for his compound miter saw.  I know it's a fairly one-sided gift, but not completely.  He does a lot of side jobs, building fences and that extra money that he makes goes towards their mortgage payments and general activities.  I feel that in this way, it may be a gift that only he would use, but in the end, it would definitely benefit them both.So, WIBTA?",WIBTA if I gave a wedding gift geared towards one partner over the other?,NTA
10yvnkc,"I have been living the dorms for a few weeks and felt pretty miserable. I just did not like the living situation, though my roommates are fine. A friend who is living in an apartment told me she had a spare room in her apartment that I could use and I was ecstatic. However, after touring the place, it was still better than the dorms but not that much better. Despite this, I told her I would be moving in this sunday. A week later, I have now had a change of heart and believe I have made a very impulsive decision in telling her I want to move in. I was just being spoiled and lazy, and that the dorms are actually a fine place to live after doing some introspection. The thing is that she has been looking for someone to fill the room in for a while, so this is where I am conflicted.​She is a friend I have known since pre-school, so I would assume it would be okay to tell her that I was just making an impulsive decision that would not have benefitted me that much. But am in the wrong here for doing this?",AITA for not moving into friend's apartment when I told her,NTA
10yvl0j,"For background, I (19m) have a fairly tense relationship with my parents.  They are very religious and I came out to them when I was 16.  They took it better than I thought, at first they were in denial but for the most part they've accepted 'the situation' as they call it.Over the Christmas break I came home from college and brought my boyfriend ('Jon').  They told us that we had to sleep in separate rooms.  They explained it's not because we're gay but because they wouldn't let me sleep with a girl I wasn't married to in their home so they're not going to let me sleep with a boy either.  We were fine with this and I gave Jon my room and I would take the couch in the basement.First night we arrived we stayed upstairs with my parents talking after dinner so they could get to know Jon a bit.  My sister ('Amy' 15) had her friend 'Will' over and they went downstairs to play on the xbox.  Amy has always been a bit of a tomboy, almost all of her friends are guys and we've know Will since they were in first grade.Things with my parents went really well, they actually seemed to like Jon and before we knew it, it was late.  I showed Jon my room and then went down to the basement.  I had thought Amy and Will weren't there as it was quiet and the lights were off.  I turned the lights on to set up the couch and found Amy/Will making out on the couch.  It was kind of an awkward moment but Amy quickly suggested Will go home and she'd talk to me.  Once he left she begged me not to tell our parents as they would never let her be alone with him again.  We talked for a bit and I agreed but told her that she should tell them because they would eventually figure it out.I didn't give the situation much thought until earlier this week when my mom called me.  Somehow they figured out Amy and Will have been dating for a while now.  I don't have any details because they've taken Amy's phone away as a punishment for lying to them.They clearly had some kind of fight and Amy must have something about me knowing because my mom was angry/hurt that I didn't tell them.  She said a bunch of stuff around how welcoming they were to Jon, how they've changed since I came out, etc. and the least I could have done was to let them know about Amy/Will.  I tried to explain I told Amy she should tell them and that I didn't feel it was my place.  My mom just kept on going on about how I betrayed their trust and I should have been looking out for Amy so they could keep her safe.I've tried calling / texting my mom a few times a day since then but she's giving me the silent treatment and my dad is too.I don't think I did anything wrong but my mom seems really mad at me and she's never ignored me like this.  So I'm kind of wondering, AITA?",AITA for not telling my parents my sister has a boyfriend?,NTA
10ynk2y,"Me (25F) and my bf (30M) have been in a relationship for several years and living together. We have a very nice relationship and we love each other very much.A couple of days ago it was my birthday, which was a regular day at the office. Fast forward to the evening, I get home and my bf was waiting for me with champagne, a cake, flowers. I was pleasantly surprised, because he rarely ever thinks about such complicated things; Of course, we both spent a bit of time talking to my relatives, his mother, my grandmother and friends on the cellphone, wishing me happy birthday. During all these conversations, all I was hoping for was to sit down and have a glass of champagne and enjoy some quality time together.By the time I was done with my conversations ( I am not the kind of person that knows how to end a conversation), my partner was bored, “watching tv” and browsing on his laptop/phone. This is a major problem in our relationship, **because he is constantly on his phone and laptop**; he says I am unreasonable to ask for attention and time when we are living together for so long. He usually tells me I am needy, but out of the few hours we are actually at home **he spends 90% of it on his phone.**I kindly told him that would be nice to have some time together, without phones for a brief period. Thats when hell broke loose, he started telling me that I am entitled, that he is doing “something for work” (which was just researching some things to buy, def something that did not appear urgent and could have waited 1 hour), that I am always needy and attention-seeker and that just because it is my birthday doesn’t mean that he needs to give me all his attention. Is not all about me.I’m always putting others first, including himself, I feel he never does that in return and whenever I ask a basic thing like putting the phones aside for a couple of minutes, he gets so triggered and the situation escalates quickly into a fight.**I ended up drinking the champagne alone and crying myself to sleep**, while he was on his phone in the bedroom. He never tried to make it right, he never tried to mend the situation or make up in anyway, apologise for anything. I never felt so shitty on a birthday.Am I asking for too much? Is it something so out of place, to want some undistracted time from my partner **on my birthday**? I know i would do the same for him, easily. This has been the most horrible birthday ever… and he insists that he did everything right (buying cake, champagne, flowers), but I am spoiled and crazy and always want more.Am I in the wrong? I genuinely want to know your opinion.",AITA for asking my bf to spend less time on his phone on my birthday and a bit of time with me?,NTA
10yvfm2,So basically Me and my mom have had a few fights because of my “behaviour” (my mom is the type of person that completely snaps when she hears me or my sister calling eachother dumb and thinks it’s a very bad insult) and I’m sick of it honestly since I don’t view what I’m doing as horrible and disrespectful.I’ve also gotten into the gym the last month and a half and I Love it.(I’m not in good shape and I want to better myself) But all of a sudden to find a way to annoy me instead of taking my phone or whatever she doesn’t allow me to go to the gym.Am I the only one who thinks this is completely and utterly stupid way of punishing someone??Im thinking of going anyways and ignoring her but I need to know if it’s a good idea or if I’m the a hole in this situation,AITAH for wanting to go to the gym?,NTA
10yfxng,"My partner is currently out of town. He’s been complaining of some non descriptive symptoms and, as I’m in healthcare, he asked me my thoughts. I gave him my advice. Later that day he texted me saying “can we fix me?…” He has a history of not wanting to take any responsibility for his health. I literally have to put his allergy medications in his hand every night because he says he “can’t ever remember”. I know that by “we” he means “me” and, quite frankly, I don’t want that responsibility. I don’t have time to make his doctors appointments, call the offices, check his medications, do research when he feels the doctors aren’t listening to him or when he thinks they’re wrong or just trying to make a buck off him. I responded back “YOU can. I think that’s a great idea!”His response was, “you really don’t want to be on a team with me do you?” to which I responded that I don’t want to be responsible for another adult (I work four jobs, I have two kids one of which will be starting college next year, my mother with dementia lives with me and I take care of her). I told him being on a team, to me, meant that I don’t have to take care of him, that as an adult he could take care of himself. I suggested that it’s not that I don’t want to be on a team with him, but rather, we have different definitions of what a team is. His response was to try to tell me how he “doesn’t understand” the medical profession, how he gets angry with the system, he doesn’t know what questions to ask, among other things. He then texted me things he says he does for me and how I’m just increasing the distance between us, how he’s so willing to sacrifice for me and I don’t do the same. I  am struggling lately with perspective on our interactions and, since I read this sub all the time, decided to start posting when he insinuates or straight up calls me an asshole (I get that a lot).AITA for not wanting to be responsible for my partners healthcare?",AITA for wanting my partner to be responsible for their healthcare,NTA
10yt6hy,"ThrowawayThis is in the context of buying farm animals but you don't need to know anything about farms for this story.I bought some animals that were sold as fit and healthy but I had 3 die within hours of getting them home plus others that are still sick. This was about a week ago. They had a disease that is linked to not getting the right start straight after birth, e.g. dirty conditions and not enough milk. This is further proved by the fact one has a joint infection that has similar causes. It was not a stressful or long journey. It was a cash in hand type job and I told the guy I bought them off about it and he basically said ""shame about that have fun"".Obviously animals get sick I'm not disputing that at all but I believe it was a known issue of the seller. This has quite a financial impact, should I push for a refund? The animals were expensive for what they were anyways, and they've had plenty of medications to try and save the situation.WIBTA for pushing this guy to refund me my money on the animals that died?",WIBTA for pushing for a refund on sick animals?,NTA
10yo4cf,"About a year ago I had to cut off most of my hair. I liked dying my hair crazy colors, and one day I chose one that would be hard to do at home, so I decided a salon would be the best way to go. My mother recommended someone and I went to the salon. The salon butchered my hair, leaving bleach in too long and cutting my hair very short. In the end, I was refused any of the colors I would have wanted for the salon person deciding to dye my hair back to my natural color, wasting a ton of work. She was so reckless with my hair that it started breaking off. I decided that I would rather have a pixie cut than drastically uneven and fragile hair, so I cut off all of my hair. This was about a year ago, my hair has grown back to about my shoulders when straightened since then (I have curly hair). I do musical productions, and recently I had to perform “The Lion King”. The requirement was that if your hair was long then it would be put in a bun. My hair was too short for a bun, but too long for me to leave it down. I decided to just do a low ponytail, and even that had trouble holding most of my hair. The stage manager was really mad with this, saying how it should be in a bun. She was even mad that I had bangs because it would interfere with the makeup I had. She said that I should have come in a bun, and me being the people pleaser I am, didn’t argue. I went in a bun, but most of my hair fell out on stage because my hair was too short. Am I wrong for not having long enough hair for the bun?",AITA for having my hair be “too short”?,NTA
10yqboe,"I had a project like community theater but we only did the lines like an audiodrama, none was getting anything from it, everyone's in the project 'cause they wanted to. They could quit anytime, just had to tell me.An actor quit. A guy from the project recommended me an actor who's in his projects to replace. His projects are great so I thought the actor's responsible.He accepted. I sent him a script (it'd be less than 1min of audio), days later he sent the audio. Soon he'd have more lines. Sent him a script, 1 month to the deadline (the same for everyone), I waited and he didn't send me anything, he said he's still recording, so I gave him 1 more month. He's the only one left to finish the project, I told him once everyone had recorded.After this other month he still hadn't send the audio, he's ignoring me, I saw him online and sent him ""how's it going?"" then he got offline, the same for weeks, even the guy who recommended him couldn't talk to him.Then one day he sent me like 20% of the script, some lines wrong and it's just 20% so I couldn't use it. I told him to record the wrong lines and that I needed the rest. He never sent me any more audios, I gave him more time, he never followed the deadlines. Everyone from the project's waiting the release and I couldn't 'cause I didn't have his lines. 3 months after I gave the 1st deadline I decided that I'd to fire him, even after the 20% he'd sent, he's still ignoring me, he didn't even say why he's late. I felt it's unfair to everyone who had followed the deadline.The guy who recommended him was famous, if I fired his actor everyone'd hate me, but if I didn't everyone'd hate me 'cause my project wouldn't release. I talked to other people to know what I should do, they said they'd have fired him already.But I hate conflict, I try to give more chances until there isn't any other option, but it's stressful not being able to talk to him and the project depending on me firing him or not. So I told him I'd have to replace him with someone else, this time he answered, asking if I'd use the 20%, I said I couldn't 'cause some lines were wrong and I couldn't change the voice again in the middle of the project.He got mad and posted the 20% with a text saying he's sad that I'd fired him. To everyone who saw the post it looked like he'd recorded 100% and I just suddenly fired him. I was told he's telling his fans that I'm a dictator. Am I a bad person 'cause I fired him? ""maybe if I paid him"" but everyone including him were part of other volunteering projects, none ever expected to get money from it, I'd been in other projects and it's what's normal for us.Maybe I should've given him more time, but I think it's unfair to the other actors, I think if someone was part of a community theater and missed 3 months of rehearsal they'd get fired. I had a deadline to post the project and since he's missing his I missed mine.Later I was told that he was ignoring me 'cause he's playing videogame.","AITA for ""firing"" someone from a volunteering project?",NTA
10ywl93,"My wife and I have been married for a while and every since we got married, she tends to ask me a, “Guess what!”, question whenever something crazy or funny happens. I have always been very literal and grew up with my dad who was a lawyer and mother who worked in the engineering field, so I have always been held to a high standard when communicating with people. That is not super relevant, but what is relevant is that whenever I was asked a question I was expected to reply with an answer that was well thought out or my best guess if I did not know the exact answer.Fast forward to me now, I am happily married and although we have our fights, I am secure and happy in our relationship and my wife has communicated to me that she feels the same. But every time she has asked me a guess what! question, I think through where she is, what she had planned for the day and what we are planning on doing later and respond with a guess, and unfortunately, I am usually spot on, or very close, in my guesses and it makes her upset. She showed me several articles online about how to respond to someone when they ask you, guess what!, and it is usually to say, what?, and get excited. I like guessing though, and enjoy thinking through the problem and getting the thing she is talking about without her having to tell me out right. She says that I’m the AH for this, but I want to see what you guys think, am I the ah?",AITA for always guessing when my wife asks me to guess?,YTA
10yy5rp,"I'm one of the few but growing number of single men who foregone marriage and became a dad on my own. In my case, I used a surrogate three times so I have three boys between the ages of 5 and 10.When they started school and started to make friends, I did tell a few parents because they wanted to know more about me before letting their kids spend time with my kids. Most were intrigued for a few minutes. That went away once they realized how normal we are.I'm neither an advocate nor opponent of single parent surrogacy. I did what worked for me. I also don't promote it the same way people promote their personal lives for clout. In fact, I haven't told anybody about it in years.That brings me to my son's 2nd grade teacher, Mrs. F. I got a random call from a reporter asking to interview me for a magazine piece on men resorting to surrogacy to have kids. I thought it was a joke but he had all sorts of information including the names of my kids and what I did for work.I asked how he got my information and be said from Mrs F who is a friend of his. In fact, she gave him my number. I was passed.The next day, I told Mrs F about the call and she said it would be so exciting to be in a magazine and online. I asked why the fuck did she put my personal life out there. That's a total betrayal. She said she didn't know I'd be that upset and simply thought that I'd be open to it. I told her that I didn't tell her my business let alone give her permission to spread. She didn't say anything so I called her a fucking moron who needs to grow the fuck up.She probably thought I'd complain to the principal but that's not my style. I will tell you stuff to your face. Now the VP principal is acting like an intermediary between us after she said I cussed her out. He did say that I was out of line but she was even more way put of line. He asked me to be understanding because she's young and lives online. I told him that he's just mad that he actually has to do some work now and the funny part is that I'm not even mad at her anymore. I don't like her but its not like she matters in a few months.",AITA for cussing at a teacher after she gave my information to a reporter?,NTA
10yye9e,"Me (43M) and my wife (40F), were in need of hiring a driver to take my daughters (twins 13F) around on specific trips that are typically always at the same times for school and their extra curricular. This would be using our own car which is quite an expensive luxury car and the driver is quite well paid for what the job is.My niece (26F) heard about the position and really wanted the job. My wife and daughters loved the idea but I was not so sure. My niece is not a professional driver, and she has a full time wfh job, but lives next to us and said the schedule worked for her as her work is flexible as long as she does her job. My niece is a well educated woman and makes a lot of money already. She knew the salary I would be paying but said she would not mind doing it for less as she loves my daughters (she lives alone and has no partner or kids). She has a car of her own but I wanted the driver to use our car.I was not keen on the idea as my car is expensive and I wanted to hire an older driver with more driving experience. I insisted and hired someone else who is an older man in his late 60s and a retired taxi driver.My niece has been giving me the cold shoulder since and my daughters are also upset with me. My wife did want to hire my niece but accepted my decision now which I am glad about since she contributed a lot towards buying this car.The thing is, my niece used to babysit our kids a lot when they were younger for as as she lived near us and still does things for our kids sometimes and now I feel like it might be hard to ask her for any favors again. But at the same time I had to assess who I wanted to hire and feel like nepotism hires are wrong.EDIT: I guess I have some reconsidering to do. The taxi driver seemed appealing as some of these events have other people going to them who have chauffeurs, not that I agree that appearance should matter but I thought it would be nice to have someone who dressed like a chauffeur. We gave him a trial period so we do have room to reconsider. I would pay my niece the same amount if she took the job. But my main line of thinking was that she already had a job so he could use the money more as he is a retiree and a little more money would not really change her life.",AITA for not hiring my niece to drive my daughters around despite my wife and daughters wanting that.,YTA
10yw62r,"Me and my partner have been together over a decade. We met in college and been thick as theives ever since. We had discussed that marriage was not super important to us, as our partnership was fulfilling. I honestly think we were just bored and decided ""why not?""Cut to 2022, and we are planning a wedding. I have terrible stage fright and I hate being the center of attention on anything. I just prefer to be apart of it, not THE part of it. Partner could care less. So a small wedding was in the books. But I have a ton of siblings, who have kids, and he has a ton of family woth kids, and we both have remarried parents. Our small wedding was still going to be about 50 people. We were paying for it ourselves.My mom can be extremely difficult and mean. So I had to choose a venue instead of having it at a family's house to keep drama out of the situation. That'd the cost go up as well.After a stressful couple of months of planning, my partner notices and says that this isn't how it's supposed to feel: getting married is a celebration of our love, and shouldn't depend on what family thinks. So we agreed we were going to just elope to France, backpack a few weeks, and use the money we would have spent on the wedding (our money).Most of the family was really happy for us. They insisted on gifting us some spending money, even after we said we didn't need it, and that it wasn't fair because they weren't invited. They gave us some anyways. We had a great time! A blast, really. We back packed through countries, slept in hostels, rode the train. Got presents for everyone. I had a blog so they could keep track of us, even.But now,  a few months later, my mom mentions that I ""pissed off a lot of people"" by eloping. That I made the family feel excluded. I know she is being mean,  and is most likely jealous I got to have this adventure. But I am second guessing myself. I know it's ""our life"" but I don't want to be seen as selfish or ungrateful for what they've given us. I kind of wish I'd not taken the money now, as I feel like I couldn't repay them with an experience. And if I am being an ass hole, how can fix it?",AITA for eloping instead of having a wedding?,NTA
10yyrjl,"I’m a first time mom with a six week old son. I’m lucky to have a good supply to be able to feed him exclusively through breastfeeding.I have a shawl to cover up when I feed in public. But at home, it’s boobs out which is of course a relief because it’s much easier to manage and see and bond with our little guy / reposition him when he needs it. My husband will move the blinds behind me closed when I’m sitting on our couch breastfeeding. Behind our living room is our backyard (which is shallow) and we have houses on any one side of us. There is a two story house directly behind our yard and theoretically, if they tried, they could see through our window shutters into our living room. Though the couch is backed to the wall, so they’d be staring at my back when I’m sat on it.My husband closes the blinds when I feed our son and this morning I called it a bit prudish of him. He said that it’s doing him a disservice to call it prudish, and he acknowledges it may come from a primitive, perhaps less logical place - but that he’s trying to protect me from potential lurking perverts. His brother and his brother’s friend when growing up would sneak around to a neighbor’s to get a view of her showering, and this was brought up as an example of how male behavior can be problematic and it’s something that needs to be safeguarded against.Honestly it wears on me when he does this and makes me feel like I have something to be ashamed of every time he swipes the shutters down. He was also alarmed when I accidentally flashed him for a second while positioning my nursing cover at a restaurant. Yes, if someone walked by at the perfect time and decided to look at me in that moment they would have gotten a glimpse, but we were at a corner table facing a ledge and I’m of the mind that people are generally decent and personally, nursing every few hours is hard enough without feeling the need to be paranoid about who might be trying to cop a look. And I’m generally careful as I’m a shy / pretty modest person myself. Back to the blinds, I told him that the slim possibility that there’s someone lurking when I’m in my own home isn’t a worthwhile trade off for feeling like I should be embarrassed. said I should have authority over my body. He disagreed that I should have jurisdiction over the blinds staying up.AITA here?",AITA for wanting my husband to stop pulling the blinds while I’m breastfeeding in our living room,NTA
10ywb7r,"Our 11-year-old daughter ""Nikki"" is a speedy eater. It's not any kind of eating disorder, she's just always eager to finish her meal and get back to whatever it is she was doing or wants to do. When my wife cooks, she'll linger in the kitchen waiting for food to be finished cooking, take her plate and finish before everyone has sat down. There are times she'll be getting seconds before anyone else has been able to get their first plate which has led to instances of there not being enough for everyone.When I cook, I plate everyone's food at once so she sits with the rest of the family and starts eating with the rest of us. There are a few reasons I'm trying to nip this: Reduce risk of choking and upset stomach (she's had a few tummyaches over it), ensuring everyone gets some the times ingredients aren't plentiful, and etiquette- I want her to be able to share with others when she's older at parties and the like. We went to my sister-in-law's house for dinner. We got there early and dinner was already cooked. There wasn't a plan for everyone to sit and eat together and sis-in-law invited us to get our plates. Nikki got hers and before those already there had all gotten a plate, she was already going back for more. I took her plate and told her she had to wait to get seconds so we could make sure everyone got some. My sis-in-law butt in that I shouldn't tell her to not get more food because it'll come off as shaming her for how much she eats. I asked her to please not interfere because I wasn't telling Nikki she couldn't have more, only that she has to wait for everyone else to arrive and get theirs first. Waiting thirty minutes wouldn't be the end of the world. Nikki sat pouting at the table and when everyone had arrived and starting serving themselves, she asked me if she could finally eat. That got me a lot of stares from some of my wife's family who told me I should've just let her eat. My wife stayed out of it while we were there but once we got home said she agreed that I was wrong to tell our daughter to wait because that's just how Nikki is.",AITA for making my daughter wait to get more food?,NTA
10yxoch,"My husband (43m) and I (37f) were the last in our friends circle to have kids. Most of them got started in their late teens or early 20s. They knew we wanted kids but infertility sucks. Since my husband and I had less responsibilities than they did, for over fifteen years we'd drive 8+ hours to see them. When we got pregnant unexpectedly (without trying!) two years ago, we called and told them that because I'm high risk after so many miscarriages we won't be traveling during my pregnancy; however we have a Large house with 3-4 guest rooms so they were welcome to come visit us and they'd have a free place to stay plus we'd cover the cost of food and outings. No one came to visit or see us through the entire pregnancy or after our baby almost died at birth. (Baby has recovered well, and is a very happy almost two year old.) Our friends call occasionally and have pestered us to visit but 8+ hours with a toddler is a long trip. Lightning has struck twice and I am, once more, unexpectedly pregnant! We've announced it to our friends, and they are asking when we can come visit  with our first child so they can meet her before the next baby arrives. This is where I might be the AH. My husband started planning a trip but I told him no, our child and I won't go 8+ hours away for anyone. He's welcome to go, but I won't attend and our child won't. For starters, I am still high risk with this pregnancy and my doctor won't approve me for travel. I don't like the idea of our child going so far to appease a group of people who won't consider visiting. Additionally our child hates traveling and it would be difficult for one parent to take her anywhere; it usually takes both of us to keep her relatively calm. And while our friends and family are also parents, most of them have children in their upper teens or twenties who are less dependent on them. (This is by their own confession.)I've also told my husband I find it selfish that the family and friends in question have traveled to near where we live but have made no effort to stop by or even tell us that they're close until after the trip is done. My husband is a bit frustrated with me, but I told him we put everyone else first for over fifteen years and I think it's time to be selfish. Pregnancy hormones make me a bit testy so AITA?",AITA for refusing to travel?,NTA
10yynct,"A girl in our office is pregnant and we decided as a group to get her a very good quality stroller.  It was going to cost about $1,400.  We aren't all rich or anything.   Our boss, who is a pretty decent guy all around, put in $1,000 of it.  As his assistant I agreed to take care of collecting the money and making the purchase. The rest of us were each going to put in about $75 each.  Two days before her baby shower/maternity leave party two people hadn't paid in yet.  So I asked if they were going to contribute.  They said they would transfer the money right away.  They didn't.  So I left their names off the card.  They came up to me afterwards and they were pissed that I embarrassed them by not putting their names on the card and making them look bad to our boss and the girl going on leave. I asked them if they had sent me money for the gift.  They admitted that they had not.  But they said that it was unfair to expect them to contribute to a gift that the boss mostly paid for.  I told them I could make an appointment for them to talk to our boss. They declined. It has been over a week but they are still upset that I made them look bad.  Before anyone asks I will provide some information.  $75 is not a lot of money in our office.  We had all agreed to contribute to the gift.  We have all done it in the past for other gifts.  For example one of the guys who did not contribute recieved a comparable gift for his wedding even though none of us were invited.  It was a destination wedding.  No one was forced to participate.  They could have said up front they didn't want to contribute.  I kept their names off the card because they didn't pay in.  It wasn't meant to make them look bad. It was to let the girl know who got her the gift.  There was a seperate card we all signed, including the guys who didn't pitch in.EDITI paid the difference out of the budget I have for random office stuff.  My boss didn't even question it.",AITA for only including the names of people who contributed for a gift?,NTA
10yxhzc,"I (F20s) have neighbors that don’t watch their kids. They have 3 boys that are 10, 6, and 4; those kids are outside ALL day every day, regardless of the weather. That itself maybe wouldn’t be so alarming, but even now in the winter (I live in Northeastern US), they’re never bundled up and I don’t think they even go inside for lunch. They’ve personally told me that their mom kicks them out of the house every morning for “alone time”. Those kids aren’t supervised at ALL.They also have mild behavior issues past dumb kid stuff like ding dong ditching; they use other people’s basketball hoops w/o asking and have scratched cars, throw rocks at cars, and refuse to get out of the street when cars pass + start cussing at people. The last time they ding dong ditched, my neighbor, who is a teacher with a young baby, gently told them to stop because they were waking up her baby. They responded by knocking over her trash cans. When confronted, they hide in the bushes and come out to do it all again if they don’t start cussing at you. My teacher neighbor went to their house to talk to their mom about safety and behavior concerns for the kids and the mom slammed the door in her face almost immediately.Do we have a right to be concerned about the kids never being watched or are we overstepping?Edit: Thank you everyone, I will be contacting CPS today.",WIBTA for calling social services on my neighbors?,NTA
10yyv1i,"My ex (38M) and I (38F) have two sons (15, 12). Ex lives out of state. We signed a new custody agreement last month due to the kids’ school schedules and both kids requesting less time with dad. The new custody agreement would significantly increase support since the kids will be with me quite a bit more. My ex wants me to agree to a reduction from what the state calculation would be due to the financial strain it would cause his family. He just bought a new house and fears he won’t be able to afford the mortgage. For context, here’s a bit about our family lives. Me: My boyfriend and I both work full-time to support our family. We live in a cute little house outside a major city (love my house). The kids attend a private school that is better suited to their neurodivergence and learning disabilities than public school would be. I pay for this entirely (at an income-based reduced tuition rate), with no contribution from my ex. We’re a one-car family because we can’t pay tuition and for two cars. We haven’t had a vacation in 3 years. My ex: He and his wife have 5 kids (his 2, her 2, their 1). They live on one income. They have two vehicles and a newly built 5 bedroom home. They took their family of 7 on a 2 week vacation to Disney and Universal this summer. WIBTA for not reducing child support for him?",WIBTA for not factoring in my ex’s financial hardship into our child support agreement,NTA
10yx576,"My husband and I have always had an open-door policy with phones.  We have always said that there shouldn’t be secrets between us. We have been married 14 years.  The past year has been rocky. We have been semi-separated since September. I say semi because we have been actively trying to be together, he has spent many of those days in our home in my bed, and we have been doing couples counseling together.  I have noticed that he has become increasingly possessive over his phone. It’s never out of his sight, and he grips it strongly in his hands when showing me something.  This has been really driving a suspicion up in me. The other night he fell asleep hard, and I took his phone and looked in it.  What I found was nothing short of devastating. He was having multiple emotional affairs with young (20ish) asian women. They all seem to probably be scammers and he has been sending them a lot of money. He has been talking to them for months, sending them photos of himself, and of our daughter.  We have always been on the poor side, so it’s really upsetting to me that he has taken what little he makes and given it to what he believes are pretty girls on the Internet. When I confronted him about it, he called me the asshole. He said that I had no business looking at his phone and the only reason I would is because I “want to find things to be unhappy about”.  That if I would have just minded my own business, I would have nothing to feel so upset about.  That I am only seeking reasons for us not to reconcile.   So am I wrong? Am I the asshole or is he?",AITA for snooping in my husbands phone?,NTA
10yw71c,"I’m 21(F) and he is (23M) and we just started dating very recently. I asked him if he would like to go to one of my college balls with me which is next Thursday. Tickets cost €65 and that includes a 3 course meal. He is very happy to go and pay the money and everything seems all fine. But one of my friends told me that if I invite someone, it appears better for the person who made the offer to pay for both of us and then I realised that that made a lot of sense. She also said to make sure that I made it very clear that he is paying which I did make it clear to him. I feel really bad now because I didn’t realise that I should pay for both of us but it also makes a lot of sense. I am willing to offer to pay for both of us now because I feel bad even though I am very broke right now and I would be spending my Christmas money to make this payment.   At the same time, I am willing to do it because it’s the right thing to do. I am so sorry and I am willing to make things right if need be. So reddit, AITA for not realising that social etiquette requires the person who made the invitation to pay for both?",AITA for not realising that I should pay for my dates ball ticket and made it clear that I would pay for mine and he would pay for his?,NTA
10yz70u,"So yesterday my daughter flushed down her hamster down the toilet. When I asked her where her hamster went she told me she didn't know, we searched for the hamster for about an hour and then she started crying and admitted she flushed him down the toilet. She put perfume in his cage because it smelled and I think it died because of the perfume. When she saw him in his cage, not moving and obviously very dead, she didn't know what to do and flushed him down the toilet. She also told me something about him being exploded and stuff but idk about that.So after I found out about this I obviously got very mad, she didn't tell me about the dead hamster and made me search for about an hour. And who would think that flushing their hamster down the toilet could possibly be a good idea??? I understand that she's a child but how could that idea even pop up in her head?Aita for scolding her? She should know that she should be more responsible. After that she told me she hates me and she has been ignoring me ever since",AITA for scolding me daughter after she flushed her hamster down the toilet?,NTA
10yvy6e,"A few kids from me (16M) and my adoptive brother’s (18M) friend group have recently started a new game. Basically someone would sneak up on someone else and whack them in the middle of the back before someone catches them. And it’s not a love tap but one of those full armed smacks that is definitely gonna hurt the next day. I have warned the main few people that participate in the whacking that I was not okay with them doing it to me and they agreed not to. Until recently.A few of us were hanging out after practice yesterday when one of the whackers, DB, decided to whack me. Most of our friends, like DB, don’t know but I was in the foster system from the age 2 to 13 and was diagnosed with mild PTSD from that. So I was whacked right into a panic attack. I don’t really remember what happened but was told my brother was absolutely furious and ended up chewing everyone out before dragging me to the car and driving me home. Now, since a few of our friends are seniors, 10 of us were planning a road trip during spring break. After the incident though, my brother told my parents that he wasn’t sure he wanted to go anymore, especially if I was uncomfortable. I said that it was fine since I know that if we don’t go there will probably be no trip at all. Our family is the only one whose car could fit everyone and if we didn’t go my brother’s best friend, whose parents agreed to pay for hotel rooms for everyone, would probably also not go. I didn’t wanna ruin the trip for everyone just because of my trauma shit.That was before today, though. My closest friend (he wasn’t there when DB whacked me) showed me that one of our friends posted the smack and subsequent meltdown on their private story. With the caption “bro get up you’re 16 not 6 💀”I don’t wanna go anymore, I really really don’t. I don’t know if I’m overreacting or not. WIBTA for not going?",WIBTA for cancelling spring break plans?,NTA
10yxcv9,My coworkers James (36M) Chad (40M) Kyle (32M) and I (29M) get together every Saturday night to drink and play boardgames. We meet after 8pm since 3 of the 4 of us have young kids that need to be put down and we typically play until midnight or 1am. We exclusively play four player games that can be played with three but work better with four. A few months ago Chad (single no kids) started inviting his niece Amy (13F) to join. Initially all three of us were really uncomfortable with it but the other two have since softened and seem fine with her joining especially if it is a night where we only have three players and she would be the fourth player. I can tell she thinks its cool to have older friends and will often try to broach more adult topics like alcohol. I am still really uncomfortable hanging out with a child and after a long week of caring for my 2 year old son I like to relax and not have to worry about setting a good example for anyone impressionable ignoring the fact I have nothing in common with someone half my age. I've communicated this to him frequently but he continues to ask if he can invite her. AITA?,AITA for wanting to exclude my friends 13yr old relative,NTA
10yxb5o,"I (45M) cannot stand it when I have to listen to other people’s phones. I don’t want to hear some random screaming anime themed thing going on with no context when I’m relaxing in my home…or truthfully in any situation at all. I think it’s super rude. My wife (30F) does not get this. She is addicted to socials. I respectfully ask her not to play stuff out loud in my presence. I have purchased her several sets of Bluetooth headphones over the years and we have tons of wired ones kicking around too. I will ask her not to play her socials out loud and tell her how it makes me feel…she will stop for a while…then a few days later, play it at a barely audible volume…then the volume creeps up…then a week later she’s doing it again.Got stern last night and told her unequivocally that I can’t stand it and to please stop. Brought her headphones. She stormed into the bedroom, slammed the door and we aren’t talking this am. I sometimes enjoy scrolling. I laugh at content. I just don’t want to hear yours out loud. I don’t subject others to it and I expect the same…Because of her protests, I only game once a week and use headphones when I do it. AITA???",AITA for putting my foot down about my partner listening to Insta and TikTok out loud on her phone in my presence?,NTA
10ywk99,"I (25f) received a car from my grandfather and my father for my birthday. My grandfather owns several car lots and regularly provides cars for family members who need them.His business partner near me found the car, bought it at auction, (supposedly) fixed it up, and filled out the paperwork for the title (or so I thought). The day I picked the car up it threw a check engine light as I was pulling into my driveway. It gave me a bad transmission code, and the solution was to either fork over $975 to a mechanic or spend the afternoon pulling out and replacing a part- I should mention I have NO mechanical experience, but I’m not stupid and I had plenty of guidance from different Reddit threads and YouTube videos. Now, the title I received in the mail was a salvaged title, and in my state you cannot register a salvaged title. So in order to get it retitled it’s gotta pass a DEQ test, and only then can I apply for a rebuilt title and THEN register the vehicle. But I cannot pass DEQ with the check engine light, so that had to be fixed first, and now, upon replacing the necessary parts, it will no longer shift out of park. I recently started working again after a bad mental health period. I am the breadwinner, and my salary is decent. But if I cannot get to work I cannot make money to suddenly pay for these added unexpected expenses…expenses for a car I never in a million years would’ve EVER picked. It’s ugly, it’s notoriously a garbage car, and repairs are costly. My father jumped down my throat when I asked if I could trade it for something else or sell it and buy something more reliable. called me ungrateful, that what’s $900 spent on a “perfect, brand new car”? (The car is a 2009, with 85k miles on it.) I’m feeling really discouraged and I’m not sure what to do. The car is currently sitting in my driveway and at this point I just want this headache gone. AITA?Edits: my grandfather lives several states away and is suffering from Mid Stage Alzheimer’s. He and I don’t really have a relationship but he respects my “work ethic” (according to my father, who is his golden child.) It’s a 2009 Chevy HHR, salvage title.My father and his father are both very rough hostile men, talking to them is always nerve wracking and anxiety inducing.I’m worried this is somehow going to be turned around and blamed on me.I also didn’t ask for a hand out- my partner was fine to drive me to and from work as we live together, but I work early and long hours and my dad felt bad. Once there was talk of a car I assumed I would be buying it myself and making payments, so I assumed I would be buying something that ran. The back windshield is also not sealed properly, and, as I live in one of the rainiest states in the country, the water getting into the car is what caused the battery corrosion. The power windows in the back and my mirrors in the front also do not work properly.",AITA for thinking about selling a car I received as a gift?,NTA
10yzblx,"My husband (33M) has a huge extended family. There's one aunt whom he claims to be very close with. She often wears heavy makeup but there have been several occasions when I've seen her without makeup.When my first baby was born, we had already had this discussion regarding fragrances and I had told my husband to avoid using fragrances, and he has done so. We separated shortly after I gave birth to our first son (5yo), reconciled two years later and then had our second child. Right after the birth, his family would visit and this aunt would come wearing heavy perfume and makeup. After these visits I would remind him to please make an effort to bring it up that kids especially newborn babies should not be around such strong perfume and should most definitely not be kissed by lips wearing lipstick. I myself have not used lipstick or perfume ever since conceiving my first child so it isn't like my husband isn't reminded everyday of the effort I put into protecting my kids from carcinogens. However he gets very uptight each time I broach this. This most recent episode really ticked me off-we were at my MIL's for a xmas lunch and that aunt was there. I had left my youngest baby (3 mths) to my SIL who wanted to carry her. When I came back for her, I noticed something red on her head and thought she had a bump, so I asked what happened. My SIL said er, that aunt kissed her...And she made a :/ face. I didn't make a big deal of it and went to get a wet washcloth to try to clean it off. Then I noticed there was GLITTER and it wouldn't come off. I was irritated but didn't let on until I got home and asked my husband to look at this stain that wouldn't come off even in the shower. I made sure to keep my tone very light, even borderline playful, because he often accuses me of being hyperbolic.He gave me a blank look and said nothing, despite having promised me he would bring it up to her the next time it happens. He made zero acknowledgment of what I said. Later, this turned ugly when I called him out on his reluctance to keep his promise. He says I'm always ruining his holidays and that he can't control what his family does. He then gave the excuse that maybe she feels safe in her makeup and that asking her not to wear it is cruel and will make her love our kids less. I said I don't think love works that way and that I'm not asking her not to wear makeup, she can just refrain from kissing the kids with lipstick on, maybe after eating when the lipstick is mostly gone? He then just kept reiterating that he can't control what his family does. We see her on average 2x/month, during holidays and special occasions it can go to more than 5x a month and this isn't the first time it has happened. I am only extra annoyed because there was glitter and it didn't come off even in the shower and my husband had previously specifically promised he would speak to her again. Am I out of line?",AITA for asking husband to tell aunt not to kiss my babies with lipstick on,YTA
10yzm0r," My(40F) brother's (38M) girlfriend (40F) is having a birthday party and wants to take the family and friends to a cabin in the mountains. Now the deal looks like this: they pay for the meals and we pay for the accommodation (at the cabin THEY chose). We're also by ourselves with the transportation, so we gotta pay the gas money too.I told my brother me, husband and daughter (8F) won't be attending, because we don't have the money. He got mad, saying we should make an effort and that it's a special moment for his gf. I explained to him that we're sorry, but we're on a budget.He eventually decided that if we don't come, they won't come either at my daughter's birthday party as they don't have money. I got mad and told him he's being petty. Bro has a son, my nephew (8M) that is basically my daughter's best friend. Him not coming would hurt her a lot, so I told my bro he's just petty, because I'm not asking him to pay anything, it's a day party and all expenses are paid by us. All he needs to do is be present with his son.He told me it's about etiquette and if I want people to come to my events, I should make an effort for them too. I don't think it's fair, I'm asking him to a free day out while he's asking me to 3 days of trip paid by me on his own terms. Aita?","AITA for telling my brother I'm not going to his party, but I expect him to com",NTA
10yyn4n,"I have a very aggressive  form of MS and am having trouble getting all of the things I have to do done so I asked my husband to take some things off of my plate.I asked him to take over all dental care for the kids along with orthodontist appointments. He said sure. I also asked him to take over the security of birth certificates, social security cards, and other important documents.Yesterday, I  asked my kids when was the last time they saw the dentist or orthodontist? They said a long time. I then called the dentist and orthodontist and the children had not been seen in over a year. I freaked out and made appointments and caught the kids up on all of their needs.Then my son needed his birth certificate and social security card for his first job. Well, my husband lost them. I tore the house apart to find them with no luck.Now I have spent 3 weeks replacing all of the documents.I was so mad that I confronted my husband about how frustrated and angry I was that his lack of follow through and that he sucks as a husband and father",AITA for telling my husband that he socks at being a father and husband.,NTA
10yz8g3,"I grew up being punished by silence and it's been really hard to undo the problem.With my partner, I've made a big effort to over communicate and plan most of our calls.The problem is my BF hates communicating and we've had issues where he won't answer or return calls, forgets to call at a certain time, and says he needs me to plan things.The other day I had a big event working with the mayor (yay!) And I texted my boyfriend and asked him a question.He didn't reply for 7 hours.I totally lost it and ended up sobbing when I got home. I do not understand why he is punishing me.As a result, I have completely stopped all communication. It's been 2 days. I just don't have the energy to try anymore. He has barely tried to reach out.So reddit, AITA?",AITA for using the silent treatment?,NTA
10yy47f,"For some background: me (F23) and my bf (M25) have been dating for 4 years. Bf is kind of allergic to cats (nothing an allergy pill can’t fix), and I made it clear to him from the beginning that I am a cat person and would eventually get a cat.Well ~2.5 years into our relationship, bf got a very good job in a different state and had to move. I couldn’t move with him immediately because I also had a good job and wanted to wait until I could get at least an equivalent offer where he was, so we were doing long distance. About 4 months in, I was very lonely so I thought it would be a good idea for me to get a cat. I did my research and found a breed that produces less allergens than others and agreed that when we moved back in together, I would do all of the cat chores and make sure that our space did not get extremely messy due to the cat. He said it was ok, so I got my kitty.He would visit occasionally and the cat clearly gave him some allergies, but like I said, an allergy pill brought relief.Cue me finally getting a job and relocating  to the state my bf was in. Well this is where the problems really started. Bf’s expectation of me now is to do all of the household chores (cleaning sheets, vacuuming, dusting, etc). His logic is that I got the cat, the cat is making stuff dirty by shedding, therefore I need to clean everything that has cat hair on it. Well everything in the apartment has cat hair on it, that’s what happens when an animal lives in a space!We have argued numerous times over this because he thinks I need to clean everything and I tell him I will do more than 50% of the work but not all of it, as I did say I would clean up after the cat. My boyfriend thinks I’m an asshole and that I am going back on my word and not taking responsibility for owning the animal because I don’t accept doing all of the household chores.So am I the asshole?EDIT for clarification:- Bf does NOT say that the chores themselves (sheets, towels, vacuuming) exacerbate his allergies. He says he doesn’t think he should do them because there is cat hair on those surfaces and the cat is not his. My point is he would do those things anyways even if he did not have a cat so why can’t we split them 70% 30% (me doing 70%)- I got bf’s full agreement that I could get the cat before getting the cat; therefore, he accepted living with a cat for 10+ years, and taking allergy pills if necessary, which he has to take seasonally anyways. And let’s be real, he loves the cat now.- I do most all other chores already: cooking, grocery shopping, planning dinners, half of the dishes when I cook, and cleaning the kitchen, all things he refuses to do. So if I were to agree to also vacuum, do laundry, dust then the ONLY chores he would be responsible for are watering the plants, cleaning his sink, and washing half the dishes.",AITA for getting a cat and then not doing all of the house cleaning,YTA
10yyt5o,"Context: A friend asked me to meet up last weekend. I said yes. She kept messaging me every hour or so throughout the day changing the time she would be free, and it became obvious that she had double-booked herself. Eventually, after I'd waited for an hour or so, she told me that she was not going to make it. Current issue: I asked her at the time if she wanted to hang out this weekend instead, and she said yes. Today I messaged her to iron out what we'd do (the time was already set), and I made a suggestion for a place to go. She replied, ""My concern is that if someone texts me to meet up, [bar that I picked] might be too far away"". I canceled our plans for tomorrow because I feel like she's double-booked herself again, and I don't want to wait around for her or have her in a rush to go meet someone else. My partner does not agree with me because it's possible that she is expecting a friend of hers to want to meet up with her and she'll simply ask that person to join us. Her wording indicates otherwise to me, I'm very annoyed that she didn't just explain that if that was the case, and I'm still bitter over last weekend. I actually don't think she would have said anything to me at all about tomorrow if I had picked a bar that was closer to where her other friends are going to be. AITA for canceling instead of trying to make it work around her busy schedule again?Edit: I might be the asshole because before last weekend, she never did this. I also didn't try to have a conversation about it, I only gave an excuse as to why I couldn't go.",AITA for canceling plans with a friend who keeps double-booking herself?,NTA
10yxlrs,"(Sorry for possible confusion- mobile and not a native speaker)Context: My (18F) school announced their graduation date and it happened to aline with our family vacation and I definitely did not want to miss either of them. Sadly bookings for the flights (only) has already been made, but my mother said she ‘understood’ and I could choose to go or not. I made my choice not to go but after my father heard about me not joining he said there was never really a choice for me— I should’ve know better—as I already said I could go like a year prior. I expressed my feelings regarding the graduation to him but he just laughed at it. It started with him trying to convince me to spend time with ‘family’ but I assured my stance— he pulled the ‘so you would choose it over your family?’ which I don’t think is the right analysis. After some shouting and personal ‘comments’, it boiled down to me crying and him just seeing the graduation as taking some photos and I can just do a ‘fix round’ photoshoot with friends later. I asked ‘So you’re forcing me to go?’ and he said that will be the case.Later at his attempt of consolation I believe, he came to me who was crying and asked ‘You’re not gonna die for not going (to the graduation) are you?’ I know I might be overreacting and should’ve respected my mother’s effort for planning more, but the experience of asking and fighting with my parents left me really drained.I’ve never been a girl with love for traveling—it’s usually my mom plans and I just tag along as we agree it’s best if we all travel together— so in the future to prevent me from causing this, WIBTA if I say I’ll probably never be free for our next trip and my parents can just  go?",WIBTA if I tell my parents I’ll probably be free never for our next trip?,NTA
10yzkbw,"My (24F) boyfriend (28M) and I don't live together. I had the opportunity to babysit a dog for three days because my classmate really needed someone to take care of him. I welcomed the opportunity to have him over because we were getting ready with my flatmate to foster a dog in the following month. So this would be a great trial.  So, my boyfriend was very attached to me and he wanted to spend all the time with me and we saw each other almost every day and he would frequently stay over. We had plans to hang out that evening at my place, and watch a film, but no set plan. And during the day I learnt about the opportunity to have the dog over. Then I texted him telling him about having the dog for a few days and I was excited about it. But didn't cancel our plans or anything. He answered with a big amount of rage telling me that he doesn't understand how i can make other plans when we were supposed to hang out and that he would never do this to me. I told him the dog isn't going to disturb any plans of us having dinner and watching a film at my place (the dog is a 12 year old boy and housetrained). My boyfriend knew this dog from before and didn't like him saying that he barked at him many times which I didn't even know about until that moment. He said that he feels like it's rude to not ask him for permission before agreeing to take care of that dog. He kept hounding me about it, making me feel super guilty.  I told him it's ok and sorry that it upset him and if this is making him so uncomfortable I can postpone the babysitting for a day or two and we can hang out as planned. But he said no because he was way too upset to see me. I was calm and apologetic. But I feel his reaction was out way out of proportion. It's one of many incidents where he got so possessive of his space in my home. When a friend was visiting me once and staying in my room, he was upset because she was ""penetrating his personal space"" referring to MY room. AITA?",AITA for agreeing to babysit a dog without asking my boyfriend,NTA
10yyejn,"My husbands coworkers son brought home a kitten about 6 months ago. They already have 2 cats, so his dad (my husbands coworker) didn’t allow him to keep it, so the cat stayed outside. My husband went to his house to visit and the cat fell in love with him, as did my husband. His worker said he could have him since his son wasn’t allowed to have him anyways and didn’t ask if he could bring it home.His coworkers son was upset, so my husband said when he moved out if he wanted the cat back he could have it back. It wouldn’t have survived the winter outside where we live anyways, so we took him in. Fast forward about 6 months, and today the cat is in love with us, a very affectionate cat. Sleeps with us and everything, and stays indoors. Today the coworkers son asked if he can still have to cat back when he moves out. I asked my husband when is he moving out? When he’s 21. We’ll, said kid isn’t even 18 yet. I told my husband I’m not babysitting a cat for 3-4 years for a kid who wasn’t allowed to have him in the first place.My husband argues it was part of the stipulation of us getting him for free. I offered to pay the kid for the cat, so when he does eventually move out he can buy his own cat. But I mentioned the vet bills, and the cost of feeding the cat and what not and I’m not keeping a cat for that long to return him in almost 4 years. When we initially got him, we thought the kid was almost 18, and would be moving out in a few months. So AITA?EDIT: I appreciate the comments, what is an acceptable time to keep a cat for someone until they can take it back?",AITA for not wanting to return a cat in 3-4 years?,NTA
10yzd4p,"I leave for work in the morning at 8:20 my roommate leaves sometime between 10 and 12. It seems she gets up feels cold turns on the furnace (which doesn't have a thermostat just an on off switch) then she gets high, she regularly does not turn off the furnace before she leaves to go to work. I usually get home around 6 pm and the apartment is snifflingly hot, sometimes its 35°c! More than once I've had to open windows in the middle of winter to cool the place down. The constant temperature swings and heat have killed plants I've kept healthy for 10+ years. We received the gas(heating) bill for this past December and it's 200$ more than she expected. In our lease it's stated that I pay an additional 100 dollars a month to assist with utilities a number SHE came up with and I agreed to. She claims that I have to help her with this bill because I've ""enjoyed the heat"" I assure you I have not enjoyed the heat. I hate the heat. When I could afford to live alone I kept the place at a comfortable 15 degrees C (59F) in the winter, I'm hearty Canadian stock so this is very comfortable for me and living in an apartment building with heated units on all sides I often never turned on the heat. The only time I've touched the heat switch in our unit is to turn it off. My roommate is claiming that  I won't help her with this bill because I'm ""cheap"" and only doing this because I can get away with it.Frankly I cant spare the money because of up coming moving costs and I don't feel I should be responsible for costs she has incurred because her habits have made her forgetful especially when these habits have damaged my possessions. I am neurodivergent, sometimes I'm pretty unaware of myself and extremely spiteful(working on it). I'm worried that maybe I'm refusing to help her because I am really angry about my plants. So WIBTA if I continue to refuse to contribute more than the agreed upon amount to the heating bill? *Maybe important details*I am subleting the room she is the only name on the main lease or any of the bills.My roommate has a serious canabis habit and in the year and a half I've been living with her she has been sober only a handful of times, I have given up on trying to help her with this. She often blames me for things like eating her food or leaving the bathroom light on just because she doesn't remember doing it herself. We are parting ways at the end of the month over many of these issues.",AITA for refusing to pay my 'half' of the insane heating bill?,NTA
10yz97f,"So I 29M and my spouse 27F have been together for 6 years and have a child 4M. She has Borderline personality disorder, but she is not violent never has been. she has had issue with friendships and maintaining them and connecting with peopleher whole life. For the past 6 months she has been play a game server called NoPixel. It's complicated to explain but it's grand theft auto with alot added to it and people Roleplay random things like gangs workers cops ETC. I have supported her fully cause she wanted to connect with people. even tho I don't understand roleplay all to much except for all the sexual things you hear about roleplaying but i put that aside in my mind for the benefit of the doubt. At first she was doing okay started slow and made some friends. After a while it was only men she played with which is also fine but, her Character and another person's character had begun dating and would message on discord and also play on the server. This has happened 2 times now. Currently on the second one. The messages on discord are friendly and about the game and Characters but, she spends anywhere from 4 to 12 hours playing. She did say they do flirt ""in character"" She tries to reassures me that it's just a game and it's all in friendly and fun and that its all just a story line but I feel very disrespected and betrayed because at the end of the day that is still another man on the other end. She says they are just friends just ""together"" and it's basically nothing more and I can't trust it. I've asked her to please change it and to stop flirting with people cause it makes me feel like I'm being cheated on. I've told her I support her playing her game and making friends but not if she is flirting and acting out ""dating"" even tho she says she just tries to make it super cringey and funny instead of romantic and the like just more friendship like but also why have them be together if it's just friends? She has accused me of being controlling and being an asshole cause I don't want her to have the ""full scope of her character"" and not be allowed to make decisions for herself. So, i need to know. Am I over reacting to all this?Forgot to add that she does tell me she can differentiate real life from the game but it really doesn't matter to me",AITA For feeling cheated on?,NTA
10yzbwt,"AITA for putting raw chicken in the sink? My roommate recently sent me a text asking if a raw piece of chicken sitting in the sink was mine. (4 person unit, 2 others besides us). I got back to the apartment and explained that it was mine, and that I didn’t want to throw it away because it would smell over time. The garbage had also just been taken out. Also explained that there were dishes in the sink so I couldn’t put it down the garbage disposal at the time. (Not my dishes) Note that it was a small maybe 2 inch diameter piece. My roommate does not have sensitivities to meat of any kind and cooks meats of various types, including chicken, regularly. Also note that the chicken had been in the sink for about 24-48 hours and that’s how long it took for the dishes to be cleared. I told her that when the dishes were cleared out I would take care of it and run the disposal as well as wash the sink, which is what I normally do. She stated that this didn’t seem like a good idea to her and that we should instead try to bag it and throw it away. (For fear of the sink smelling.) I told her that I had already wrapped up and tied the bag / containers it came in from the store in to save counter space (small kitchen) and I didn’t want to waste another bag or open the ones I tossed because juices would get everywhere and be one more step while cooking. She asked why I couldn’t take it to the garbage chute down the hall and I told her that I didn’t want to leave my actively cooking food for risk of hazards or ruined food. I also again didn’t want to waste any bags. She offered the idea of a small trash receptacle under our sink that we routinely take out but I reminded her of the bag usage I was trying to avoid and mentioned that using that method would result in a lot of bacterial transfer with the cupboard and receptacle itself / space around it. I also mentioned that it would be impractical and inconvenient to have one more step such as that, even with a schedule. In my opinion using the sink and cleaning it is the easiest method. Also note I’m the one who primarily and regularly cleans the sink regardless of chicken disposal I also take apart the components and clean those too. I checked with one of our other roommates and she said she’s not bothered by me tossing my chicken scraps there and she hasn’t noticed / been bothered by a smell. I’m still waiting to ask the fourth roommate when I get a chance. AITA?",AITA- Raw Chicken in Sink Debate,YTA
10ywhea,"My husband & I have been together for 13 yrs. We’ve always shared chores. And surprisingly for this type of post. My husband is quite progressive. None of that women belong in the home crap. But some how we have fallen into the trap of me doing the lions share of work around the house. I’d like to point out we both work full time & contribute 50% to the bills. He does do his chores. We switch everyday whose job it is to sweep & who wipes the counters down. He takes the trash out to the curb & does laundry once a week. He’s supposed to mop the house & clean the microwave once a week, but that doesn’t always happen. But I’m running the house, & cleaning everything else. The bathrooms, dusting, changing bed sheets, dog brushing & nails clipping, picking up stuff, grocery shopping etc etc etc. And all the mental load that comes w/ running a house.  I saw a suggestion in another post & decided to try it. I asked him to make a list of everything he does for the house & us. Even tiny small things. Two weeks later & two reminders later he still hasn’t done it. Side note, he does deserve a bit of grace. He does have unmedicated ADHD. I’ve been on him to make a doctors appointment. But anyway. I finally blew up. Told him I’m disappointed he hasn’t made his list. The whole point was so we could have a diplomatic conversation. He said he didn’t know what to put on the list. Which is a red flag to me for so many reasons. I asked if he wanted me to read him my list. He said yes. Let’s just say I had to scroll through the list it’s so long. After many tears, mainly mine, he said he would do better. Today is my day off, the day I normally do most of my chores. We’re leaving early to visit my MIL. (She’s great by the way). So I’m zooming around the house trying to get done what needs to be done before we leave. I think he can sense that I’m upset because once again, I’m doing a ton of cleaning & he isn’t. So he decided to go vacuum my car (which he’s borrowing while his is in the shop). And this just made me so upset. I feel like I’ve read this in other posts. “Wife asked hubby to help, he decided to level a floor” type stuff. I asked him to help with the house. So he LEAVES the house and vacuums my car. Something not important. We don’t have the time to have this discussion right then, plus I don’t know if I have the words to describe why I’m upset. I’ve got to finish cleaning, get dressed and out the door. He definitely senses something is wrong. I end up breaking down trying to cut the brownies I’ve made to take to MILs because they’ve falling apart. Now I’m in the bathroom hiding trying to pull myself together. But part of me feels like I’m over reacting. He did clean something. I don’t know. Am I the AH?Edited for formatting.",AITA for my reaction. Asked my husband to help out around the house. He goes outside and vacuum my car.,NTA
10z0irh,"I have a lot of conflict with this because I’ve had a lot of mixed opinions. My mom had always taught me growing up that I was white, and I needed to have straight hair and act and talk a certain way and she was definitely a racist. Any time I wanted to do anything different or show interest in learning where my bloodline came from I was always given the run around. Turns out I’m about 60% Portuguese 20% white (French/Canada/England) and 20% Italian, give or take. So with this newfound information do I now need to appropriate my own culture and say I’m Hispanic? Or would I continue to say that I’m white? I digress. Being as that’s my general genetics I have very very thick and curly coily hair. I brush and wash once a week and it usually takes two people to brush out my hair. White people hair stuff sucks and will never work on my hair the way that products designed African Americans does. My hair will try to lock after 3 days of not brushing it, so I’m almost always keeping it tied up so it can’t get knotted, plus I work with food. Since I let my natural hair come back to life I can almost always only use extremely thick hair bands, I use oil on my scalp designed for black hair. I’ve tried soaps and conditioners and treatments made specifically for black hair and it’s been the best my hair ever felt. My friend things I shouldn’t use it because I’m white and I could be “taking it away from a black person who actually needed it”. But I need it too. Am I the asshole for using products that are designed for slightly curlier hair than mine when nothing else works?",AITA for using products specifically designed for African American hair when I’m white?,NTA
10yxzzz," I (37F) have been married to my husband (42M) for 16 years. My husband has never liked for me to do anything while we're watching a movie or TV show. He would get extremely annoyed if I even checked my phone, so I have made sure to keep my phone stowed away while we're watching something. A few years ago I started sorting and folding laundry while we were watched. I could tell it annoyed him, but I'm a working mom with 4 kids, and I needed to get this chore done. I also started doing exercises while we were watching something, which also annoyed him, but I ignored this.Throughout the years, if I got up to do something like get a drink of water, my husband would pause the show. It didn't bother me much when it was just him, but in the last year or so we have started watching a sitcom as a family. It felt like the whole family would watch me as I walked to the adjacent kitchen, filled a glass with water and then walked back to the couch. It started to really annoy me. I told my husband that I was still listening to the show, that it took me less than a minute so I wasn't really missing anything, and that I didn't want him to pause it for me. I even made a joke quoting Frozone from the Incredibles, ""I'm thirsty. I'm just getting a drink...""He said that we're watching the show together and that he wanted to be polite to me and pause it for me. I said I appreciated that, but I didn't feel comfortable having everyone pause the show and watch me.But he still insisted on pausing the show for me. This went on for weeks.At one point I was watching a show with just my kids, including my son (15M). I got up to get a broom and sweep the room we were in. My son paused the show and asked me what I was doing. This annoyed the crap out of me. I said I was going to sweep the floor while we watched. He said, ""But I like you to be here \[on the couch\]. I said, ""I'm the adult, I will do what I want during a tv show!"" My son huffed but went along with it. I was annoyed that he had learned what I perceived to be a controlling behavior from his father.The next time we were watching the family show and my husband paused it for me, I said with exasperation, ""My preference is that you don't pause the show for me. If you want to be polite to me, do not pause it!""He has stopped pausing shows for me, but I can tell he is still annoyed. AITA for caring more about my own preference than his, for not allowing him to be polite, and for voicing this with frustration?A couple things to note: We aren't constantly watching shows and I'm not constantly thirsty. These are events that have taken place over years. Also, I feel like I'm a bit ADHD and it is hard for me to sit still through a show, particularly a movie. I have sat there thirsty or agitated/somewhat bored many times because I am trying to not annoy my husband.","AITA for caring more about my own preference than my husband's, for not allowing him to be polite, and for voicing this with frustration?",NTA
10yyn7c,"Me and my gf had a sleepover and i took a very child friendly photo of us. We were both on each others side of the bed with clothes on and she was sleeping, the caption read “She said she would stay up”. i posted it and the next day her mother told her to tell me to make my facebook private. i know i should be on her moms good side but she had no right to tell me how to control my facebook account. on the other hand i feel like i should appease her mother so i dont piss her off. i honestly dont know how to feel or do.",AITA for not putting my facebook on private?,INFO
10yyf24,"I (31M) recently made a new friend (29F). We met 5 months ago at a birdwatching festival, and had very similar interests and careers, so we became friends. FYI, this is completely platonic and my wife is very friendly with her as well.Me and my new friend often text each other about work and hobbies, and she drops by our house a couple of times a month for tea. Me and her also have birdwatching meet-ups once a month, which I really enjoy. I really valued her friendship since I barely make new friends as an adult with the same interests as me - she has also mentioned multiple times that she holds our friendship very dear. During one of our monthly meetings at a coffee house, she ran into three of her college buddies, all female. She immediately invited them to sit with us, which I was fine with. After coffee, me and her were then supposed to go to the nearby birdwatching spot to chase a new bird we were interested in. But after I got in her car, I was surprised to see all of her friends get in as well. She told me that she wanted to bring them along. Although they were nice people, I felt out of place among the four classmates since they were talking in circles, so I made up an excuse and asked her to give me a ride home. She obliged my request. A few hours after I had gotten home, she texted me 'Sorry?' and I said 'It's alright!' and that was that.This was a month ago. The truth is, I felt rather insulted that she completely changed the direction of our once-a-month catch-ups the minute she saw her friends, and she didn't even ask me if I was okay with it. Over the last month, we have continued to have a normal rapport, but I have not initiated any conversations with her, or asked if she'd like to join us for tea. **I do not intend to ghost her**, but I also plan to limit my interactions with her unless she apologizes to me. My wife thinks I am overreacting and might lose a friend, but personally I do not enjoy putting effort into a friendship where my opinion and time is valued. AITA?","AITA for limiting my interactions with a new friend, who during our monthly catch-up, ran into her friends and immediately decided to hang out with them instead?",YTA
10yy2kq,"It's a longish story. The basics are that she divorced my extremely abusive father about 23 years ago and immediately got picked up by her current husband who has systematically gotten her to hate her entire extended family over a very long period of time. She has 6 brothers and sisters. He has always tried to peck away at me but was mostly unsuccessful. When I would visit he'd eavesdrop for an entire hour from an adjacent room and then suddenly and silently pop out after he got bored. Then my mother's health started to worsen. The first time she got sick she basically passed out at work about 5 years ago just before she retired and was rushed to the ER. I wasn't even informed this had happened until she nonchalantly mentioned it during a visit and I requested that he would inform me of my mother's health. He point blank declined and she just sat there passively. After seeing him belittle her, me, and everyone in her family I knew he was an asshole but she wouldn't listen. Finally, she had 2 different cancers in the past 3 years which required surgery. One surgery was particularly major and the plan was that I'd come down to the hospital while she was in. This was on schedule until literally 5 hours before they left and he must have made her tell me not to come. So I was in this group chat he started. He didn't say anything all day in this update chat. I should also mention he was a passenger in the car that her friends drove her down in because he's too much of a hick to drive in the city.Finally after drinking a half bottle of tequila I snapped and demanded updates. This was at 11pm after she went in at 7 am.  He decided to remove me from the chat. At which point I went off on him in private messages and told him he was a piece of shit. He blocked me and then blocked my wife. I didn't bother my mother with this crap during her recovery but I came to find out he had been working his magic the entire time she was recovering. Finally, she told me I needed to apologize to him and I explained that I can't do that because I'm too old for this shit. I went on to tell her that I think he's a manipulative asshole and she wouldn't have any of that so she blocked my messages. I was enraged and went a step further and blocked her on every possible platform. I don't feel like I can have a relationship with my own mother now and I am not going to reach out even though I feel pretty bad about all of it. Would you block your own mother and refuse to apologize too or am I the asshole here?",AITA I was blocked by my own mother,NTA
10yxhrm,"I 32F used to live with my sister and her family in the same house for many years. We agreed to split the Bills. She had no job and only relies on her husband's salary to support her and her kids. I am older, single and have an steady job so most of the time I pay for more than I owe and it's okay until I realized that I am actually paying all the bills all by myself. I confronted her about it and she got mad and said that I should understand her situation . One time she asked me if she could get a loan using my name (She's not qualified cause she had no job)  I am hesitant but I agreed since she is my sister and I trust that she will pay the loan as she promised but unfortunately she did not finished paying the loan and now I am debt because of her. I confronted her about it and all she had to say is ""Sorry, I cant pay it anymore and it's your name , so it's not my problem."" I got really mad . I don't know what is wrong with me but I still let this slide and continue living with her.But one day we had a huge fight(We fight all the time tho) and my sister had the audacity to throw my things outside the house and told me to get lost. Imagine that? I'm the one paying the bills and I am the one who had to leave? My friends told me that SHE and her family should be the one to move out not me but I said It's okay , besides I have been planning to move out and that I already found a room to rent so I gather up my things and moved out of the house without speaking to her again .Weeks later she reached out to me asking me to move back since she cant pay the bills by herself and I said no , I will never move back there. I blocked her in everything so she cant contact me anymore.Then this January I learned that she found a job in the same company where I work  and I am not very happy . She is my sister but she is toxic that I decided to move out and keep her out of my life but now that we work on the same company  I have to endure being with her from time to time. AITA?",AITA for not wanting to be in the same workplace with my sister?,NTA
10yzoum,"There’s a grocery store that I sometimes go to that offers garage parking (but no surface parking). To get to the garage, you have to first turn in to a narrow drive.Without fail, there is always at least one, and usually multiple cars parked in the Fire Lane (where there are multiple signs that say No Parking or Standing Fire Lane).Today, a guy in front of me made the turn and then came to a complete stop since he saw someone else coming out of the front door (for pedestrian entrance) and walking to their illegally parked car.So he waited until they got in their car and pulled out, and then proceeded to (poorly) attempt to parallel park his SUV. I had already beeped my horn once when he first stopped and just waited for the other person to get into their car.After he finally made it into the spot well enough for me to be able to squeeze by him, I pulled up alongside and rolled down my window and yelled “You’re not supposed to park here - it’s a fire lane” and pointed at the multiple signs. Note that this was about 2 minutes after he first stopped in the lane, and there were multiple cars behind me who couldn’t even make the turn into the lane bc of the backup.I then drove off, parked in the garage, and took the escalator up to the entrance.He happened to be milling around in the entry area where the carts are stored, so when I saw him, I threw my arms out in a “WTF?” gesture and again mentioned that it’s a fire lane and that the signs clearly prohibited parking there.He said something back (which I couldn’t hear from behind his mask), so I reiterated my point. He then said “what are you going to do about it?”So I said I was yelling at him about it and for being such an AH. He of course then called me an AH and to mind my own business.I then told him that he needed to follow the rules like everyone else and then I walked away.I’m usually not one to try to police others’ behavior but between making me and others wait for 2 minutes because his lazy, selfish ass couldn’t be bothered to park the way that everyone else does, and the fact that it is a hazard to park in the fire lane, I felt that I was in the right for taking him to task (although I can’t imagine he will change his behavior).But curious if you all think I’m the AH for lashing out in the first place.",AITA for yelling at someone who parked in the Fire Lane?,NTA
10yz5jk,"So, a Little background. I am Ukrainian, and of course, the first thing when you think of when you hear it - war. I live in suburbs near a big city, where my brother and dad lives. I live with my mom, my brother is renting an apartment with his friend, my dad is working in the city, living at work, going home only at weekends, only very rarely at working daysMy grandparents live in the region next to us, where bomb shellings often happen. We often visited them before the war, but now we aren’t able to. Almost a year passed, and my mom haven’t seen her parents in a while now, recently she found out that her father, my grandpa, has stomach cancer. We can’t visit them because of the war, so she have been trying to help them with money and all the funds needed. They just had enough money to get him into the hospital, to recoverIn the recent news she read that they dropped even more rockets near the hospital that my grandpa in, literally next street, she doesn’t know if everything is okay with him, and if he’s even alive at this momentWhen my dad came back from work, she started crying because of those news and not being able to visit or help her parents. This quickly escalated to them arguing and her being mad that she is left alone with me only in our house, while everyone is away, nobody is home anymore. I feel like they’re very close to a divorce nowThroughout this whole argument I didn’t go in their room a single time, didn’t hug my mom or tried to calm her down. My whole childhood she always yelled at me for crying and being a “whiny kid”, she never tried to make me feel better and listen to my problems. Because of this, I still have no idea how to properly comfort people. I don’t feel any emotions right now, nor anger, nor frustration, nor sadnessI have a lot more to worry about, like finishing school and successfully getting into college. Should I feel bad? Am I a bad person for not comforting my mom?",AITA for not supporting my mom during a mental breakdown?,NAH
10yyqig,"I (F21) have a group of friends, including my best friend, R(F22). This group of friends and I go to a comic-con whenever it's there, with an exception to last con, in November 2022, because three of us couldn't afford it. But we were all planning on the next con, which is happening this April. ​3 days ago, in the evening, one of the friends, A(25M) texted in our comic-con group chat, asking when we were going to buy tickets. I said probably at the end of this month. But I said I could afford to buy them all now, and wait until everyone was able to afford to pay me back until the end of the month. I explained I was getting a little nervous waiting around waiting for tickets. A agreed and told me to do it. I didn't wait around until the rest agreed or disagreed, because I didn't think anyone would be against it. I'm not difficult about the money, they can pay when they expected to in the first place, and now at least we would have tickets. We have been talking about going for months.​So I ordered the tickets, sent the link for a bank transfer, which works for a few weeks. And again reminded everyone they have until the end of the month to pay, and then sent the tickets.​Today, R texted me. She told me she wouldn't be able to pay me back at the of the month. I replied immediately that that wasn't an issue. She then said she actually wasn't happy I bought the tickets without discussing with the rest of the friends. Because they couldn't afford to pay me back at the moment. I reminded her that I told everyone they had until the end of the month. She then told me she has actually been thinking of not going, because she wouldn't be able to afford anything there (including food or petrol), but the tickets are non-refundable and are registered by name. I told her I couldn't have known about her not wanting to go, she has also been talking about going for months. And that I thought I was just doing everyone a favour by buying tickets. Especially because I'm not difficult about the money. She said she has been in debt with a bunch of friends and she finally isn't anymore, and she didn't want to be in debt again. Even if it was for just 30euro. At that moment I was just too pissed off and told her I wasn't in the mood.​After about 15 mins, I realised I might've been too harsh. So I texted her to apologise for my reaction. That I understood where she came from, and that I hope she understood I just tried to do something nice. And I told her she didn't have a debt anymore with me, because I would gift her the ticket. And I promised that it would be a fun day out, I know she has been stressed lately so I thought that also might be why she didn't want to go. She pretty much ignored me. And later in the evening she texted in the comic-con group chat that she won't be attending comic-con because she can't afford it for reasons I won't be sharing here. She said she would pay me back and I said she still didn't have to.",AITA for buying comic-con tickets for my friends?,YTA
10ywfro,"Before I begin... I apologize if there are any mistakes, English is not my first language.I (26F) Moved out of my parents house a year ago bc my fiancé (26M) and I got an apartment together. We still live in the same city so we visit at least once a month to both my and his parents. Ever since I moved out my brother (23M) has been talking about how much he misses me and that he wished we could spend more time together. We text almost everyday and he has come over a few times to our apartment to watch a movie together or just talk. (The reason he comes over mostly is because when we visit he is almost never at home and out with his friends, so he comes when he doesn't have plans with them)My birthday was a few days ago, but since it was a wednesday and I had to work I told him and my parents and some friends that I will be doing a small gathering at our apartment this saturday to celebrate. Everything was alright we set the time and my fiancé started planning on what we were going to serve and decorate and everything. Today my brother texts me to ask me if he can come an hour earlier that we had planned, I said I couldn't bc I was going to get my hair done and wanted time to get ready before everyone started arriving and asked why. He said his bestfriend's sister is also celebrating her birthday on saturday and that it was at a restaurant and he had already confirmed he was going to go. He said he wanted to go to both birthdays but I said to him that I didn't think it was a good a idea for him to do that (His plan was to get an hour early and stay with us for about an hour and then go to the restaurant, he would be arriving an hour late there) because he doesn't have a lot of money (full time student) and he would be spending a lot trying to be in both places and he wouldn't even enjoy the moment because he would be on a rush. I asked him to maybe celebrate with them on another day and he said he would think about it.Not gonna lie, I feel hurt by this because as we are not seeing eachother very often I thought that he would choose me over his friend but I dont know if I'm sounding narcissistic or what. I wanted some outside advice so here I am... AITA?",AITA for asking my brother to choose me over his friends?,YTA
10ywckj,"I have a friend from highschool that I've known for about 20 years. We're great buddies. When we were in high school, he always talked about owning one of those legacy arcade box machines for his favorite game, Marvel vs Capcom 2. It because a talking point here and there the last ten years or so. By luck, the company that now makes home unit arcades produced one last year. He's been a great friend to me, so I didn't really think much about the 600 dollar price tag. He was going to LOVE IT.Long story short, it's been delivered, he casually thanked me. I didn't really get the reaction I was looking for. I was so sure he'd be over the moon about. it. Five months later, it's still in is packaging and needs to be built into the arcade machine. I guess I should expect nothing in return, but I feel hurt he doesn't seem to care about the thought I put into buying him something he said he always wanted for his ""man -cave"" in his house. I wanted to say something about it, but also didn't.I ended up mentioning it saying something on how I felt hurt, and he immediately got defensive with excuses, and became a little curt. Not sure if what I did was wrong.",AITA For Confronting a friend about not using an expensive gift?,YTA
10yyh5z,"My husband (39M) and I (40F) have a 3-year-old son.  We both work full-time so our son is in daycare during the week.  Like any toddler in daycare, he gets sick, especially this time of year.  My husband and I try to rotate who stays home with him when he's sick, but my job tends to be more strict schedule-wise and there are some things that I can't move around.  My husband's job is more flexible so when I have something at work I can't move or reschedule, he stays home.A couple nights ago our son woke up at 1am and started vomiting.  Both my husband and I got up and helped him.  When we started talking about keeping him home from daycare, I reminded my husband that I had a podcast interview scheduled for the next morning at 8am that had already been rescheduled twice before due to other circumstances.  This is for a podcast I do for work and we were already up against our deadline.  My husband agreed to stay home with our son and stayed up with him while I tried to get at least a few hours of sleep.  I went to bed around 3am.  When I woke up, I found my husband asleep on the floor next to our son's bed.  It was about 630am at this point.  I didn't want to wake up our son, so I left them and went to work.  After the podcast interview ended around 11am, I looked at my phone and saw my husband had called and left a few texts.  He was mad at me for not waking him up before I left because he ended up sleeping until 930am and hadn't told work he wouldn't be coming in.  His boss was pissed.  My husband said that he was up with our son until 5am and by the time they both finally fell asleep they were both exhausted and he didn't hear his alarm go off because his phone was still in another room.  I told him I didn't want to wake up our son since he was sick and obviously needed the sleep and I didn't think that my husband would sleep in that long, especially since he was sleeping on the floor.  I was also exhausted myself from being so short on sleep and was focused on preparing for the podcast on only a few hours sleep.  My husband went back to work yesterday and had a talk with his boss.  My husband explained the situation and apologized, but his boss still wasn't happy with him and actually wrote him up for it.  My husband completely blames me for this even though his alarm still went off and he just didn't hear it or wake up to it.  I did apologize to my husband, but he's still very mad at me and is totally blaming me for getting in trouble at work. He told me that he's in line to get a promotion and this totally jeopardizes his chances of getting it now.  I told him that if his job is willing to overlook all the good work he does for one little mishap then maybe he should look for a different job anyway.He's been very short and cold with me ever since.  I know he's anxious about the promotion, but I feel like he's taking his frustration out on me instead of recognizing that he is just as much at fault for sleeping in like that.",AITA For not waking my husband up in the morning after our son was sick,NTA
10yybvm,"Background: I \[26F\] live with 4 other girls \[24-26F\]. We have been living together for nearly 2 years. We have had our disagreements but I was involved in nothing major with any of them. Kate, our landlady's daughter, occupies one of the rooms but mostly lives with her parents in a bigger house, which is 5 minutes away from where we live. Kate is the kind who is a 26 year old female that still complains to her mum about any situation that doesnt suit her convenience and her mum takes it out on whoever she complains about. It is frustrating but we have all just accepted the fact that we need to be quiet until this tenancy ends. Fast forward to 1.5 weeks ago, I discovered that our washing machine wasnt functioning well and it was unusable. I told Kate's mum and she told me that Kate had said that the machine was working well. I saw that Kate used the machine an hour ago and when i asked her on the house group chat, she said that the machine was fine. I had to drop the issue because they werent listening. Next day, my other housemate tried to use the machine and said that she wasnt able to use it too because it does seem broken. Kate then told her mum about it and the machine was taken away by engineers. The machine was fixed and it came back to the house today. All this while, the rest of us were all unable to do our laundry and Kate has not returned from her parents' house all this time. One of the housemates posted a picture of the machine on the group chat today welcoming the machine back home and this is how the convo went:Housemate 2: \*Picture\* yay its back! Me (BorolineLover): Finally! I have loads of laundry to do!Kate: Do not break the washing machine again, BorolineLover. Me: It was you tbh, the machine wasnt working after you had used it. Kate: \*Sends a few sassy GIFs\*Me: Stop trying to blame other people and keep it zipped. It is not as funny as you think it is.Kate: \*Sends a thumbs up emoji\* ​Since this convo, the housemates have been awkward with me. Kate isnt back from her parents' yet so i am not sure how they are with her. I felt that it was time that I stopped apologizing all the time to Kate for things and issues she creates and that a machine breaking down isnt my fault. However, the way my housemates are ignoring me makes me think maybe there is something I am not seeing here. This is not the first time Kate has tried to create a misunderstanding over with me. So AITA for standing up (?) for myself on this occassion? TL;DR: Stood up to my housemate when she tried to blame the broken washing machine on me. AITA?",AITA for telling my housemate to not blame me for the broken washing machine and to zip it?,NTA
10yy909,"I was talking with my sister, and I told her I hate working, and If I could I would never work another day in my life, I would rather be bored sitting at home. She called me entitled for saying it and started crying because she was so stressed from work that she had to do to keep her house and etc. I go to school full-time and work part time, I just hate it.I didn't mean to make her upset, just wanted to tell my sister what I was feeling, but I did not deserve the yelling and name calling",AITA for saying that I don't want to work,NTA
10yy3a6,"So help me, God. I never thought I'd have to post here. Throwaway because he knows my Reddit and I don't want him to see this.My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. Two months ago, he started jokingly calling me ""Queen"", and over time it's escalated to the point where he constantly refers to me as ""Queen."" For example, when I ask him when/where he wants to eat, whether it be this or that, he always replies with ""Oh! Let's go to X, Queen!"" Or, when I ask a favor of him, he replies with ""Anything for you, my Queen."" At first I thought it was charming and really cute, but it's gotten a little bit annoying over the quarantine period.For reference, we live together. He moved in with me as I'm the breadwinner in the relationship, a successful programmer in the heart of Silicon Valley. He doesn't work, but he cleans the house, decorates, usually cooks, and will take care of our dogs when I'm not home. Before this, he worked for his dad's company as an architect, but was laid off with Quarantine.Today I asked if he could go clean the bathroom as it needed to be cleaned, and obviously I didn't want to - it's my day off. He stood up, and bowed, and went ""Yes, my liege."" and then hopped off to go clean.He does this in public too. I was trying on clothes at a local store, where I stepped out to get his opinion. He loudly said ""Yes, Queen! I love it!"" which caused people to look over at us and cringe in embarrassment.I blew up on him about this - in public. I shouted at him telling him he needed to grow the f\*ck up and stop calling me queen all the time, how it felt like he put me on a royal pedestal and it was very toxic. I called him an idiot and an asshole but now I feel bad about it. Maybe I was too harsh and he's just trying to have fun with it, and spice up the relationship? Our sex life has been pretty meh lately... Every time he is ready to cum he shouts ""I'm ready to cum queen!"" and that's an instant turnoff for me. He also tends to loudly say ""I'm going to stick it in, Queen!"" so the coochie immediately turns from an ocean to a desert. Impressive stuff, really.So I blew up on him again - telling him that he was being a serious child and that he needs to grow the f\*ck up, again. He went in our room and locked the door, slipping a note out into the hallway that says, and I quote, ""I'm sorry, Queen."" I've not been in my own bedroom in 2 days because he won't open the door. He comes out to get food and water but that's it, he won't talk to me, or anything.Am I the asshole?​Edit 1: Stop downvoting my post!!! The rules say you shouldn't downvote assholes!!!!!!​Edit 2: Just talked to him about it and he's still being a bit cold to me. I think we can bounce back and work it out. I really love him and I don't want to leave him. We were slated to get married this summer and now I'm not sure that will happen.",AITA for getting upset when my boyfriend (23M) CONSTANTLY refers to me as Queen (26F)?,NTA
10yxt12,"I (F25)have been with my boyfriend (M33) for 3+ years and has met my daughter and loves her very much. I have solo custody of her (F6). She treats my boyfriend with respect and adores him. Last night he visited for dinner and he slept over, which we do at least once a week. We stayed up quite late such that I'd only slept for 4hrs when I had to get up and get up to prepare my daughter for school so I was very tired all day. We had breakfast and we're all very fortunate to be working from home so we worked as we watched movies all day. My daughter came home from school and after feeding her she started watching on TV and I was so tired I went to my room since he was watching her. I asked the both of them if they were okay while I napped for 2hrs and asked them to wake me up whenever they're bored and if my daughter needs anything.I woke up at 7.30pm and he seemed angry from his body language and wore his clothes angrily and told me he was leaving coz he was bored. I asked him if he was okay since he seemed angry and he said he was just bored. I asked home if he would like to stay for dinner before he left but said no he was going to leave. I feel like he might be justified since it's quite rude to fall asleep with a guest in the house but it's not the first time either of us has taken a nap while in the others home. I was exhausted and needed to recharge since I have very low energy on some days and need a nap to recharge. I feel it might be something else that he is not communicating about. So strangers on the internet, AITA for falling asleep?",AITA for taking a 2hr nap when my boyfriend was visiting?,NTA
10yxlos,"Oh you're going to like this one:So yesterday was my aunts birthday and she had a big do like she normally does, I obviously love to go and visit my aunt. I went with my family and a family friend who are rightfully bad but my uncle, my aunts husband, is possibly the worst person I've ever met.We often butt heads over little things like who dropped a chip, or who used my toothpaste. Anyway at this party yesterday we didn't speak much but when it came to opening the presents he was being picky at everything.For instance one person got a new vacuum cleaner for her but he said that they didn't need one as they already have one. Anyway cut to her opening my present, I got her a new charging cable and USB port for her laptop as that is what she has asked me specifically for.Uncle says the following: ""You copied what I got her""Imagine my face at that comment, scoffing I said unlikely because it was specifically made by the company I work for who made it with a cool 3d design, but no he showed me the one he had bought her and it was the same, directly to the letters the same. Colours, shape, size. I was disgusted and left after saying a few things that I shouldn't have.Upon returning home later my wife told me about how I shouldn't have caused such a scene for a petty thing, but then I get a call from my uncle who tells me I am an a-hole and made my aunt cry wit what I said. Recalling it I cannot quite remember what I said that made her cry but I felt like an a-hole for that, but it was when he called me an a-hole for getting the same present to spite him because he had been saving up all year just to get it. I won't lie, it hurt me I hadn't known this but now that I think about it they are ok with money but even so was I an a-hole for buying the same gift when I had no idea that he had already bought it before me?","AITA For ""ruining"" a birthday?",YTA
10z0gfa,"Every year my family has a tradition of going up North to our shared cottage with my extended family. My great aunt makes an amazing strawberry rhubarb jam. It’s unlike no other I’ve ever had. No store bought jam can even compare to this, that’s how good it is. But I only get it when I go up north, once a year. For my 21st birthday I asked for a jar of it from my Grandfather. He obliged and got me my very own jar. He put a sticky note with my name on the jar, it stayed on there for about a month til I decided to take it off because it was getting dirty. Everyone in my household knew it was mine. They know it’s my favorite thing in the whole wide world. Today I was going to eat the last little bit when I woke up to find a completely empty jar sitting on the counter. I was livid. The ONLY thing I got for my birthday. My favorite thing in the whole world. And this wasn’t the first time. My grandma made me my favorite cookies right around my 21st birthday too. I ate about 3, there had to have been around 30 of them. Next day, gone.I angrily texted my family’s group chat where my father told me it was, “no big deal.” And I’m, “overreacting.” And he said I deserved it since I didn’t put my name on it. Everyone in my household is an adult. So I’ve decided to give them all, except my sister because she had nothing to do with it, the silent treatment til they put another jar in my hand.My boyfriend is saying I’m being a bit harsh with them. My dad says I’m overreacting and I need to get over it. But it’s not like I can go to the store and buy another. I’m tired of them constantly disrespecting me. I shouldn’t need to label my food, we’re all adults. If I tell you once, you should know to back off. AITA?",AITA for giving the silent treatment to my parents over jam?,NTA
10yx80x,"Please forgive my mistakes, its my first post and english isn't my first language.I (29f) have a difficult relationchip with my mum. She is an alcoholic since I can remember, that includes mentally and phisically abusing me and my dad in her ""worst-mood-phases"" ( 2-3h a day till she has fallen asleep on the couch) most of my childhood. To make things worse, she would tell very... phantastic lies to all people we know ( like that my dad has r***d me or that he's the one that slapped me across the face with an hot iron).Well, when I turned 13, my dad finally divorced her and fighted for full custody, loosing most of his savings on her (she was a Sahm). However, we would visit her on Holidays and her birthday.Last week i got a call that shes in an mental Hospital now and will need a caretaker the rest of her life ( the Alkohol has finally reached the brain and is damaging it like the Rest of her body). The doctor that called me was gobsmaked that Ibdidnt want to take her home to me,even after I told him that me and my fiance life in an 3 room Apartment and have an 5month old daughter to care for, and that I want to go to work 35h a week again in a year.",WIBTA for not caring for my ill mum,NTA
10z0e31,"I 20f have been with my bf 23m for 2 years. We have talked about our life goals, kids, marriage etc and we're compatible, except for one thing.When we first got together my boyfriend said I would be waiting until at least 2023-2024 for an engagement, which at the time I thought I was fine with. Now after we've been together for two years I realise that I wanted to be engaged sooner.My boyfriend and I have talked about this and he says he would rather be living together before we get engaged. I respect his decision and how he feels which is why I bought myself a ring.It wasn't expensive and I used my own money to pay for it. It makes me feel more secure in my relationship so I don't understand why my boyfriend is upset about me buying a cheap ring.I told my boyfriend he controls when he proposes and I can wait two more years, but he doesn't get to control what jewellery I buy myself and where I wear it. So Aita?.",AITA for buying a ring for my ring finger after my bf said I would have to wait 2 years for a proposal?,YTA
10yztfb,"For background, my husband (47M) and I (45F) have five kids between us. My two (16F and 13 M) live with us full time. One of his (17F) lives with her mom and we get her every other weekend. His other two (23 F and 25M) are grown and live on their own. My daughter recently had a birthday. As usual, we had one party with family the weekend before (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins) and I let her have a few friends over the weekend after for a “friend party”, where they watched a movie and had snacks. Since her actual birthday was during the week, I took her out to dinner with her aunts to do something special for her 16th (usually I’d just make the birthday kiddo a dinner of their choosing at home). Here’s the tricky part. His kids all have birthdays around the same time. I made sure that the family party was on a day that worked for everyone so that all of his kids could be included in that. Everyone got gifts, their own separate cake, etc. We spent about $100 each on gifts for his three and about $30 on my daughter since I knew she’d be getting her dinner out and her friend party. Now my husband is upset with me because he says I didn’t treat everyone fairly. I’m at a loss because I don’t know what else I should have done. I didn’t arrange a second party for the others because two of them are grown and the other one lives with her mom, so I assumed if that’s something they wanted it wasn’t up to me to plan. And I would’ve happily made any or all of them a special birthday dinner if they’d been with us on their actual birthday, but they weren’t. So again, I assumed someone else would handle that too. But am I wrong here? Should I have tried harder to give them all the same birthday experiences instead of assuming that their other parent/significant other would handle some and make up the difference?",AITA for not giving all kids the same birthday experience?,NTA
10yzna4,"So my partner and I separated recently and we have been trying to do shared custody of the dog we got together.   My partner was the one that signed her up for pet insurance and had the adoption papers under her name but the day to day stuff (walking, training,…etc) was the majority my responsibility. My ex partner recently fractured their spine and can’t walk, much less take care of the dog so I’ve had it with me for the past couple weeks. On top of that their expenses have gone up due to me not living with them and paying half for utilities and rent to the point where they can’t afford the pup. But before that happened it felt like they were using the dog as a way to see me and get me to do random tasks for them. Or else they’d take away shared custody.   The place I am in now is great.  The dog has playmates and a good sized back yard for them to run around in. Which wasn’t a possibility at the old place, and my ex’s cat does not like the dog at all. I know that they love the dog as much as me, and that they are ultimately a good person. But us seeing each other all the time is causing more problems than good.Edit: I see a few comments that are confused about if I have refused to bring the dog over.  I have never refused to bring the dog over. I totally respect that the dog is in their name so I have been cooperating with the trade off schedule and have offered to bring the dog over to visit while they are recovering",AITA for wanting sole custody of my dog?,NTA
10yzg7r,"  So I (25f) came from a rough up bringing, both my mom and step father are addicts, so I stepped up even as a kid to take care of the younger ones. Most of my little siblings still to this day accidentally call me mom. I was particularly closer with my little sister (E). Well E (16f) recently moved in with our oldest sibling (34f) who lives on the other side of the country (we’ll call her A). It is a better environment for her in a lot of ways so I’m glad she’s happier.  Since she’s moved away she hardly even answers my text, if she does it’s very dry one word responses. I really did go over and behind what most older sisters do, treated her like she was my daughter, helped her out when our parents did not. I never wanted a thank you or anything I did it because I wanted to. A and I haven’t gotten along in years mostly do to the fact she cherry picked the two best behaved of my siblings that are the least commitment. Leaving all the younger ones to fend for themselves, obviously I don’t blame E for going but I do blame A for how the younger ones now feel.   A is incredibly well off and most definitely has the means to take them all if she wanted to. I think the younger ones don’t fit in her “aesthetics” as much plus would require a lot more time and energy. I personally let the kids stay with me as long as they want but they all know that I wouldn’t officially take in one of them unless I was taking the others too. So I pointedly asked E what’s up with her ignoring me and she got very defensive saying she does miss me and want to talk but is too busy. I called bs because I know for fact she makes time to talk to other people and she’s constantly posting her friends on socials. She doesn’t work just school and tumbling. At her age I had 2 jobs and all honors and I did just about every extra curricular activity you could think of while also practically raising my 6 younger siblings. To me even as a teen you make time for the people you want to.  I’m sure A has tried to bad mouth me and that’s probably partly why E won’t call me. She told me I’m making her feel bad when I asked her if we could schedule a time to talk for 5 mins when she’s free and she told me “idk when” I get she’s a teen but she’s very mature so it kinda shocked me she responded this way, not like her at all. I told her I don’t want to make her feel bad I just miss her and want to make sure she’s okay. Idk what I said wrong, I was careful how I phased it, I dont hold anything over her. I don’t demand anything I just ask her if she wants to talk. I don’t know what else to do my reaction to rejection like this is usually to shut down and just stop asking.",AITA for trying to get my younger sibling to keep in touch?,NAH
10yz9iu,"So recently my girlfriend (21F) and I (25M) got new jobs, but our working times were directly opposite of each other. She works from 8am-6pm and I work from 4pm-1am. This has put quite a strain on our relationship as we live around an hour away from each other. Additionally, while she gets the weekends off, I only get Sundays off.Before I started this job, I worked from 12pm-10pm every day except Thursdays and it caused me to have no work-life balance. The only days we could meet up were on Thursdays, but I couldn't spend much time focusing on her as I had to rush my weekly chores all in that single day. So when I had a chance to change jobs, I immediately picked up the new offer (that pays so much more and is very flexible with the work hours) and also prepared to match my schedule with her upcoming work schedule. Now both of us have Sundays off right?She wasn't too happy with my new job as it left us no time to call at night, but I replied that I would still be able to call her thanks to my flexible work schedule AND be able to meet her on the weekends. This seemed great until she started her new job.She would play VALORANT with a group of friends every night from 10pm till 12:30am or even 1am,and then immediately head to sleep. Now I'm not too happy with this as I would like to call her at night too, but she's too busy playing with the others and always says ""I'm too tired"" whenever I manage to catch her before she starts a new match before her bedtime. I complained that she could just have waited for me and not started a new match when I got home at 12am, but she snaps back that she can do whatever she likes in her free time. There were times when I managed to catch her finishing a match at 12:30am, but then she always says that she's tired and needs to sleep earlier. In my opinion, I feel like she could stay up another 10 minutes to chat if she could play to 1am on many nights. I feel like I've been too clingy but it's just been very hard to put time aside for each other and I feel like she's not very compromising in this situation. This lasted for a whole 2 weeks before I couldn't take it anymore and we got into a big fight.AITA for asking her to stay up for a bit longer or not game so that we could call?",AITA for asking my girlfriend to leave some time aside for me?,NTA
10yz4og,"My roommates (both F, 20s) love my cat and gladly watch him once a month for me (F, 20s). They've rejected my compensation, and just genuinely like spending time with him. However, I inevitably worry when I go out of town every month considering neither of them have ever had a cat. He's a low maintenance cat but I can't help but worry a little. Today they thought it would be a good idea to bring my indoor cat outside via plastic bag. Not a shopping bag, more of a thick plastic bag that bedding and comforters come in. Sure, they cracked the plastic so he could breathe. But they did this without asking me if I was comfortable with that. I asked why they didn't take his carrier (designed for CATs) and they said this was funnier and he was already sitting in it. Last week when I was home I caught them letting him smell and sip a beer. I didn't know what to say and just asked for it to not happen again. When I expressed my anxiety, I was met with a passive aggressive response. Yes, it was a 20 minute walk. Yes, he could breathe. I'm sure they perceived this as dramatic, especially since neither of them have ever had pets. But I don't believe this is a respectful way to care for someone else's pet. Glad we have a front door camera otherwise I don't think I would've ever known about this. I really rely on them to watch him once a month when I have to travel for work and I don't have anyone else to ask. AITA?",AITA for worrying about my roommates watching my cat?,NTA
10yytmu,"My classmate was checking our math test when I noticed some mistakes in his checking. He just told me to recheck it myself. Two of the papers that got their scores deducted were my close friends. My male friend got 1 point deducted, and he got 19 out of 20, while my female friend got 2 points deducted and got 18 out of 20. My female friend just replied ""ohh okiiee"", when I told her. While the male friend did not talk to me or even looked at me. The classmate who checked is our mutual friend in class. He told me that my male friend replied ""so what now, she's great at math?"" when he showed and explained his score. I was confused and wanted to talk to him. However, even 2 months later, every time I try to socialize with him, he distances himself even more. Even when I'm trying to be goofy when he's around, and I try to include him in my jokes, he doesn't look at me. The classmate explained my friend's POV, saying I should've at least considered his answer because he's my close friend. I felt so wrong with what I did. I am aware that I do have issues maintaining friendships, and I'm working on it, yet it still affected him. I also gave my POV, saying his points weren't my responsibility. I tried to communicate with him again, but he ignored me still. I just thought he built a wall that I need to respect, so I left it as it is.However, these past few weeks I feel left out. My female friend and he are still close friends. He communicates with her but never with me, even when I'm just beside her. It's not like I'm jealous, I just feel out of place and really really excluded.",AITA for not considering my friend's score when I was helping our classmate check our tests.,NTA
10yvpst,"Me and my partner have been living together for over two years now. I have ADHD and thus barely manage to do any housework and my partner struggles to keep our apartment tidy and clean as well, so it has always been pretty messy at our home. Most of the time I don't care much about the stacks of dirty dishes, the empty pizza boxes next to our door and the chaos on the tables but once a week when a couple of friends come over to visit us I want our apartment to be tidy and clean, because I don't want them to look down on us for living in such a mess. Before I got my current job we used to cook together and split housework almost equally, however since I started working full time while my partner is still studying and thus has way more free time, we decided that I don't need to help cooking or do any housework on weekdays anymore.Therefore, I want dinner to be cooked by my partner ever day [on weekdays] and the apartment to be tidy and cleaned at least on that one day before our friends come visiting. But every fucking week when I come home from work on that day nothing has been done and often my partner is either not even at home yet or doesn't start cooking and cleaning until I get angry and rude and start yelling. I love my partner and I don't want to have these arguments all the time but I'm also hungry in the evening and just want to relax after working all day.I always thought I'm in the right but now I'm not so sure anymore. Because when I once demanded my partner to finish cooking despite our friends being already here, which caused them to witness us arguing, they seemed to feel very uncomfortable and had the same expression on their faces that I see on my aunt's and uncle's faces when my father commands and criticizes my mother in front of them. I don't want my behaviour to resemble my father's because I think my mother doesn't deserve to be treated like this by him. So AITA?",AITA for yelling at my partner because dinner isn't cooked and the apartment isn't cleaned when I come home from work?,YTA
10yygnx,This happened a few weeks ago when we got a new sst teacher . She was a very sweet and innocent teacher who always helped us  .She did not have good English pronunciation as she was from a rural  region. She was made fun of because of it .It became so bad the she had several emotional breakdowns during the class . She once allowed us to watch a film during class on the condition that we would stay disciplined in the next class . One day we found that she quit because she could not handle the stress . This made us think critically of our actions and their effect on her mental health. We made her quit a very high paying job due to our actions. She wanted to create an environment where we can actively enjoy learning .She was a young teacher about in her early 20s so she did not have any experience dealing with disobedient students Thinking back on it I should have stopped my classmates from saying hurtful things behind her back . I just thought that it was not my matter so why should I interfere. I think should have interfered and stopped that . Whenever we have a sst class I am reminded of her crying and asking the class where she was lacking in being a good teacher . Please tell me whether I am an asshole or should I just forget it.,AITA for allowing my classmates to force a teacher into quitting ?,YTA
10yyf8r,"To start, we practice ethical non-monogamy.  I'm not sure if I need to explain that here, but just know, that just because we see other people doesn't mean that we don't have rules and expectations. The other day, I found out my gf was invited to go hottubbing with someone. Usually we do things together, so it was odd that I didn't hear about it, or receive and invite as well. There are a few situations in which this would make sense, but not many, and she would still let me know what's going on in those situations.So she has an invite, I found that out by accident, and that's all I know. So I ask her about it. She makes a joke that doesn't make sense, doesn't answer the question, and seems like she's avoiding the topic. I respond  a bit aggressively, I'll admit. I say, ""bullshit."" ""what's going on?"".She immediately comes at me, saying I'm spiraling, acting crazy, obsessive, and jealous. Continues to insult me and say how mean I am to her. She never answers the question though. The next day I apologize about being aggressive in my words. She uses this to attack me. Saying I'm always tearing her down. She still doesn't explain who invited her out and why I had to find out by accident. This is not normal at all.So Am I the asshole, or should I be suspicious.",AITAH for asking my girlfriend about a hottub?,NTA
10z0pg8,"I think I know I’m going to report her but I want to get some other people’s opinions. So my friend is going through a really rough time at the moment. I don’t think there’s any one specific reason why but more just a multitude of reasons. Every time she walks into the room, she’s either sad or angry about something. Every time I ask how her day’s gone, it’s always gone badly. This has been going on for months now. Me and my other friends have encouraged her to fill out a form to go to therapy but she refuses to do, saying she has her own methods of coping. The university offers free therapy, and will give you an appointment within about a week of filling out the form. Obviously we can’t make her fill out the form. However, there is an option to report someone to the uni if we believe they are at risk or need help. So we’ve given her an ultimate. Either fill out the form herself or we’re going to report her to the uni. Us reporting her does not mean she has to go to therapy, the uni will just call her to check in with her and offer her some help. She’s furious with us about it, and is refusing to talk to anyone. She said we’re essentially betraying her by doing this. I know she’s not going to fill out the form but is it awful if I report her?I know it’s probably going to ruin our friendship but I care more about her being okay than her not being mad at me.",WIBTA for reporting my friend to the uni,NTA
10z0o50,"So quick backgrounds me(33M), my boyfriend (32M), he is a local Asian man. Me a caucasian male from Western country and we live in a  reasonably English Asian state. We have been dating for about 6 months, but lately I have said I no longer want to spend time with his friends.:Reason being that when we end up spending time with his local friends they speak in cantonese only. Knowing that I do not understand as such I am completely excluded from all proceedings. On top of this his best friend 32F on our most recent time out has for the 3rd time mentioned that she has ""no desire to listen to or talk to a white man"". To try and keep the peace I have said that he is welcome to spend time with them and ill do my own thing. He claims that the lack of english is due to a cultural differences, while in my opinion its just being rude So question is does this make me the arsehole or was i handling things in a mature way?",AITA for not wanting to spend time with BF's friends,NTA
10z0kkg,"I am recovering from an injury sustained in a bike accident. My wife and I had planned to do a big (for her) ride together last year (London to Brighton) but I had to miss it due to surgery. She did it herself and did well (sub 4hrs). We have re-entered again this year and the plan was to do it together, but it is clear from training rides we have different approaches. She wants to pootle again and stop for snacks and rests. I want to hammer it as best I can, eat on the wheel etc. We went for a mountain bike ride together last week and she just kept wanting to stop to check directions, eat, drink etc. I was cold and irritable because we were stopping every 10 minutes. She just said she wanted to do the L2B on her own so she didn't feel pressure to stick to my pace. We are just generally not in a great place this week for a few reasons but she seems extra annoyed with me at the moment. AITA? Should I just relax and ride slow with her?",AITA for wanting to ride at a different pace to my wife?,YTA
10z0djt,"My younger brother (20) and I are “roommates”About 1 year ago, him and his GF broke up which was weird but I was happy cuz she was kinda annoying We moved into our apartment during their break upIt was the 1st or 2nd week in the apartment when she shows up at 2am trying to open the front door and then banging on the window.I was thinking someone was trying to break in at first I swing the door open all mad “DUDE WHAT THE FUCK”And she’s like “I’m calling and calling your brother and he’s not answering!”And I’m like “HE’S SLEEPING!”She demands that I let her in and my dumbass opens the door.She wakes him up, they go to his room, and they argueI hear my brother telling her to leave.I tell her this is the last time she shows up here doing something dramaticOne week later, I get home from work and realize that she’s been inside the apartment while we were at work. She had the apartment key. And they tried hiding this from me.I was LIVID. Went to my brother’s room, argued with both of them, told her she wasn’t welcome and that I want her outShe storms out of the room to argue with me, claiming that she can be in this apartment because this is also her boyfriend’s apartmentIm 10 years older than these kids, I wasn’t about to argue with her.They both left that nightSINCE THEN, I’ve gotten home and found them fucking on the couchMy brother and I bring people over all the time.The girlfriend? I don’t want her anywhere near the apartment. It makes me sad that it got to this point but I really don’t like that girl anymore AITA for not letting my brother bring her to the house??(For the record, I told my brother he can bring her whenever I’m not home)",AITA for not allowing brother’s girlfriend to come over?,YTA
10z0d7h,"My friend (29F) says that I (29M) can’t fetishize gay men and aren’t an interloper in MLM spaces because I am a gay man. I had a stint of writing M/M fanfiction even before I came out as a man and should not have done that because I thought I was a cishet woman at the time. Past Me did fetishize and sexualize gay men/MLM. I am bad at making friends and socializing IRL; online is far easier.Most of the MLM spaces I’ve found online are for cis gays. They often think that people who aren’t cis gay men ruin erotica. A genre which I used to write on AO3. If you want to see what I used to write as Evidence, most of which was deleted and reuploaded last year, I go by bookwyrmdragon there. I am now solely writing M/F and refuse to write erotica anymore because I am extremely worried about fetishizing and sexualizing gay men.I desperately want to impress the cis gay men who say that people who aren’t cis gay men have Ruined M/M Erotica. I want them to like me and I want to fit in. This is because I would like to be part of MLM communities and don’t feel Gay Enough. They think someone like me should not be in their spaces. I am an interloper. My friend (29F) and I keep fighting about this. I don’t know who’s right. I know that I feel like I’m fetishizing and sexualizing gay men. Who I desperately want community with. Who’s right here?Also as a disclaimer, I did write the M/M erotica that’s been preserved on AO3 after coming out. I have been Out as A Guy since 2019. The fanfiction erotica was written in 2020 and 2021 before I deleted it and reuploaded it in 2022. But I still think I shouldn’t have written it because I’m not a cis gay man and I’m fetishizing and sexualizing gay men.",AITA for fetishizing gay men?,NTA
10z091w,"Forgive the format I'm writing from my phone and also English is not my first language. So for a little background, my(22F) cousin(23M) made plans to get away with our partners one weekend where we split the costs equally so as to be able to afford it. For accommodation we decided on a self catering place and to confirm the booking a non refundable fee had to be paid and the rest to be paid on check in . I paid the deposit and the booking was confirmed.  Fast forward a week before the time we were supposed to leave my cousin just cancelled without giving a reason. My boyfriend and I  can't go cause we won't be able to afford it without these guys meaning the deposit i paid is going to be lost . So i asked my cousin that it is no fault of mine that the trip is cancelled and I can't carry the loss alone . I agreed to lose 10% . Everyone around us is saying TA for doing that.So AITA fir making my cousin pay me back",AITA FOR MAKING MY COUSIN PAY ME BACK THE MONEY I SPENT,YTA
10yzx44,"Throwaway account. I (25F) will be attending my friend Sarah's (26F) bachelorette party soon. We met in uni years ago, but are not very close. Still, I believe I know her and her temperament quite well after spending time with each other daily for those 3 years. She's comfortable around people she knows well, but is not a fan of big crowds, being the center of attention and is somewhat prone to anxiety. She's also a bit more conservative than me and the other friends involved.​Sarah is throwing a bachelorette party and invited me along with 5 other friends. In general, the idea of having strippers at a bachelorette party is indifferent to me: not a huge fan, but would have no problem if a friend wanted to have them at their party. Sarah is organizing the party, but we have a group (without Sarah) chat to organize a surprise for her - I thought a gift, a dinner, a hike, etc. One of the girls threw in a website for male strippers with a funny caption. I thought it was a joke and answered accordingly. Another one replied that she thought it was a great idea, and kept insisting on it. A third one (whom I don't know) mentioned she also liked it. At this point I said that ""this was clearly a joke, given who the event is for"" and suggested other options. The person that initially suggested said it was a joke at first, but seeing everyone is up for it, maybe it's a good option.​I don't know most of the other girls well, and I assume they are all closer to the bride than I am. Knowing her, she really seems the type of person who would not like to be in this situation, especially being surprised by it, but I figured maybe I am in the wrong here - she's always expressed that this is not what she would go for, but maybe it's something she wants and only confided in her closest friends. But the thought of potentially making her super uncomfortable when she's supposed to be having a great time kept me thinking about it.​I told a friend who is very close with both me and Sarah (but cannot attend the bachelorette party, so she's not in the group chat) and asked for her opinion. She was horrified. She reinforced the idea I had that she hates being the center of attention, is not a party person, and even mentioned that she might have a strong reaction to this. She asked me to try and dissuade the others and told me she would intervene if needed.​I have expressed in the group chat that I think she will be deeply uncomfortable, but they are still considering and saying she might actually like it. If it comes to it and they decide to hire a stripper, I am really uncomfortable with throwing this ""surprise"" to our friend. In case they actually go through with hiring the stripper, would I be the asshole if I told Sarah they are planning this and potentially ruin the ""surprise""?",WIBTA if I told my friend about the surprise stripper at her bachelorette party?,NTA
10yz01n,"I have two roommates, A and B.  We have a 3 bed 2 bath apartment, and B has their own bathroom while A and I share one. A and I have both had girlfriends for 3-4 months respectively. Our rent recently went up $200 as we are on a month-to-month contract until we find housing. We play a flat rate per month on water and WiFi, but power fluctuates. My GF spends two nights a week at the apartment, three max maybe one week out of the month, and I spend 2 nights a week at her place.  A’s girlfriend spends 5-7 nights a week here. At first, it started off being about the same amount as my GF, but for the past two months, it has been way more consistent. She basically lives here at this point, as she now uses our washing machine, uses common spaces, etc.  They aren’t in the living room too much, but they are in the shared bathroom constantly, to the point where I have to get up early to ensure I’ll get time in the bathroom to shower and get ready. She is also here when A is not sometimes, which is quite annoying. We found out that A gave her a key a few weeks into dating, without asking our permission. Because of this, I did the same thing, since we weren’t considering other people’s opinions anymore.I brought this up to B, and they also think that A’s GF should contribute to rent at least a little bit, and split utilities with us since she is here more often than she isn’t.  They agreed that since they are in the bathroom and now using the washing machine, it’s only fair as she is living rent free right now.  We aren’t asking for a four way split, but think she should cover the amount our rent went up, so $200.The problem that may come up is that we are pretty sure A’s GF pays for most of their dates, drives them everywhere, etc. Because of this, we are afraid they won’t want to start contributing because, in their eyes, they have a fair trade going on. But the thing is, that doesn’t help B or I with our living expenses. It also goes against our lease for her to be over that often, but we are afraid they might try to turn that back on my GF and I because she sometimes stay 1 day over the maximum amount per month.WIBTA if we asked A’s GF to contribute to rent for this month (which we already paid, so she would just split the money three ways and give it to me, A, and B) and split our last month’s partial rent ($500 or so) 4-ways if she is going to be here 5+ nights a week? Or how would we bring up that we don’t want her over here that often without sounding like an asshole?",WIBTA if I asked my roommate to have their GF start paying rent?,NTA
10yylxr,"I (19F) have two friends Mia 18F and Jessica 22F. I wasn't able to contact them for a while since I was very ill, I let them know that I would not be communicating much due to the fact that is just not possible for me plus I had a lot else happening irl. I only communicated with them online since they moved away but I will be seeing them again later this year since they're moving back.Anyways, yesterday things were fine for me so I was able to talk to them but they seemed unusually dry. I am in a groupchat with them alone and in another groupchat with them +1 other friend  Emily who they met recently and who I don't actually know well btw and only talked to once .The groupchat with Emily seemed more active and happy and they'd text there and ignore my messages on our groupchat alone but then they'd reply after a few minutes so I didn't say anything. But Emily was not that active and was just giving one word responses so it was weird.I brushed it off since I don't want to fight with anyone and I felt like I was just being too sensitive. But today I saw on the other groupchat with Emily that Jessica 'Guess Emily and that will have to see a lot of messages today'. Then Mia sent an emoji of someone rolling their eyes. They had sent around 200 messages so I know they meant the gc because it only has me, Emily, Jessica and Mia. English isn't my first language but Jessica is from the UK so I know it's her first language. I feel a bit hurt by being referred to as 'that'. I feel like they are being mean. They have also mentioned on the gc without Emily that 'at least Emily doesn't disappear for so long without messaging' and their tone when talking to me now just feels off. WIBTA if I confronted them? I feel really hurt.",WIBTA if I confronted my friends?,NTA
10yyint,"We had a group project to do for uni and I naturally ended up taking the lead. I had done most of the research and left the final compilation to the rest of the group. We had several group meetings where we discussed ideas and decided on a plan. The day before the due date, my best friend told me she didn't agree with how I've done the project, that I went off topic, and I've made it too complicated. She then went on to change everything I had done (getting several facts wrong) and ended up making a project that had no real ""point"" to it. When I saw that, I was angry/humiliated/frustrated/irritated, so I left the group chat and told her to do whatever she wanted. The next day they spoke to the lecturer and realized that I was actually on the right path. They had to redo the whole thing the way I had originally suggested. I feel like she was clearly in the wrong for doing what she did. But did I overreact?",AITA for leaving the WhatsApp group?,NTA
10yy188,"I'm thinking of an April's Fools joke where I switch my partner's stuff in her office with child play stuff (fake laptop, kid's chair, fake keyboard) and putting fake food and utensils out at breakfast?I would put it in front of her actual laptops and have real food ready too. I am not looking to imply she is childish. I just thought it may be funny.EDIT: I would keep her stuff there and just put the kid stuff in front. I don't want her dealing with replugging stuff.",WIBTA if I replaced all my partner's stuff with child play items?,INFO
10yx7mg," AITA for wanting to rehome the cats in our house?My family recently moved into a new town as we got lucky enough to secure a decent but cheap house. The last owners obviously fed the stray cats in our neighborhood as I was greeted by a small colony of them after moving in. At that point, we had 2 cats ourselves (strictly indoors) that were well taken care of and fed a quality diet. Our house is pretty small. It’s 2 bedrooms and one bath. It’s me, my husband (Andrew 35M), and our two daughters (Madeleine 5 and Mae 2, both special needs). After recent health scares, his mother also moved in with us. So, to say our house is full is an understatement. Now onto the current issue; Andrew will not stop bringing in the friendly cats. It’s gotten to the point where we have to buy a big bag of cheap cat food to feed them. We currently have 5 cats. That may not seem like a lot to everyone, but we do not have the room. They also barely tolerate each other. We do not have the spare cash to help any of these cats now which means I cannot get the newest cats neutered/spayed. I have been looking into cheaper programs for this. I’m currently the only one working and I can’t keep up. I also take care of all therapy appointments for my children (Around 10 hours per week) and I’m expected to still do a 50/50 split on household chores. To say I’m worn out is an understatement. I want to rehome at least 2 of the newest cats. Besides the fact I cannot provide for them the way they deserve, I feel incredibly guilty for my oldest cats losing the quality of living that they had for years. If I had it my way, it would just be the two oldest cats in this house but I cannot get my husband to stop. I would be somewhat (MAYBE) okay with the new ones if he helped with the litter or got a job to help with finances. My family won’t visit me anymore because of the smell. He recently started letting in a new cat that constantly gets into any food left out or into our garbage. I’m done with all of these. I cannot handle the stress anymore of everything plus these new cats. They’re sweethearts, they deserve a home that would care for them the way I used to care for my oldest cats. WIBTA if I found them new homes? Obviously I wouldn’t do it secretly and would tell him my plans, but if he disagrees, I would go through with it on my own.Note: Yes, Andrew sucks. Divorce has been on my mind for a very long time but I cannot move out of this house with my current job/education/children/lack of transportation. The house is in his and his mother’s name, and our only car is in his name.",AITA for wanting to rehome the cats in our house?,NTA
10ywu22,"I met my online friend 8 years ago. We have been very close and over the years I caught feelings for him, and initially, he felt the same. We had a strong relationship and talked everyday. However, I happened to start lying about personal things I didn't wanna share with him. He caught my lies and gave me another chance, he would say: it's fine if you don't want to answer the questions I ask, but don't lie about them. But if I ever chose to not answer, he would get mad. I didn't like getting him mad, therefore I just made up answers to his questions (I lied). As my lies went on, he got fed up and stopped talking to me. I was devestated, he was the only person I talked to everyday. I didn't want to lose him. He offered me a chance after a month, this time he asked me to send him money if I wanted to continue talking. I know this makes me sound pathetic, but well I did send him money. I sent him money for maybe over a year. It was money paid each month to continue talking to him. At some point, I wasn't able to pay him anymore. I am a student and I was having financial hardships at the time. He again stopped talking to me, it got a lot more tough. It was like my whole life was dependent on him, I know it sucks! He knew this and said that he was afraid about how clingy I am. So this time, he ended things for good. I couldn't accept it. Now, he is from Iran, and because of sanctions, he isn't able to earn much. According to what he claims, he isn't well set financially. Honestly, I find him a great guy, he is extremely talented! I thought if I offered to create a freelance account for him to work and then pay him in crypto currency, maybe he would want to talk to me. It would be a win-win. I get to talk to him, he gets to make money. I told him about it, and he was into the idea. He made a fair amount of money the first few months, but around 4 months in, we stopped getting much orders. He complained about it and well, I was afraid he would leave me because of this. I started faking orders. I lied about orders to him, and I kept lying, I made him work for nothing. He was happy because he taught he was earning a lot and he kept talking to me. It went on and I owed him 6k USD. I decided to stop, because financially I wouldn't be able to pay him back at once. I told him about it. He wasn't happy. Because he thought he was earning good, he spent his life savings on three expensive devices. He spent 3k on all of it, and now he claims that this 3k was all he had, it was his life savings. We are now still freelancing, and I am slowly paying him back. I've paid around 2k out of the 6k. But now, I don't want to keep talking to him. Most of the time he calls me a thief, tells me how I've ruined his life, talks about how I'm connected to his life problems. I can't hear any of it anymore, it is difficult to. I don't wanna hear these things before bed every night. While I return his money, I don't want to be in contact with him.",AITA for faking things to keep talking to my online friend?,ESH
10z2fod,"I (24M) and my wife recently had our 5 year anniversary. We had planned to go to a nice restaurant, then ride In a hot airballon and then go to a lake and relax. I was going to buy her flowers and all.Then out of the blue, one day before my anniversary, I get a text from my mom demanding me to babysit my sister for a week, while she and my dad go visit my aunt who recently got diagnosed with leukemia.Now, I love my sister. We're 18 years apart but are still closer than ever. She has a bit of a mental challenge but otherwise Is a pretty normal kid.I was debating whether to say yes, but I didn't want a kid in tow while I was having a date with my wife.So I politely declined and didn't get an answer, so I thought it was okay.The next day, we're at the restaurant when my phone startes buzzing like crazy, I check it and it's filled with texts from my mom and dad.They're calling me all sorts of things and saying that they showed up at my house, only for it to be empty.They're now ignoring me, when I write to them and I haven't gotten an answer.AITA?Edit : My sister Is currently staying with a family friend who we've known all our lives.The friend has two kids who are very close to my sister. The family friend said she wouldn't mind keeping her for the week as she gets a break from her twins, and encouraged me to relax.Edit : My aunt Is NOT in critical condition, she Is doing fine. She also lives far away, and it takes a couple of hours to get to her.","AITA for wanting to spend time with ny wife, instead of babysitting my little sister?",NTA
10z39dl,"I (M30s) live with my wife (F30s). We both work full-time jobs and have three kids, ages 3, 6 and 7.I used to work from home with flexible hours but I've been offered a promotion which requires me to go to work in person. The pay increase is really significant so my wife and I agreed I should take the promotion and hire a part-time nanny for our kids.I got in touch with a nanny agency and they matched us to someone who lives local. They only told us her first name which was a really common name anyway, but for the sake of story telling we'll say her name's Sarah.I spoke to Sarah on the phone and she seemed really nice. We arranged a day for her to come over and meet my wife and the kids and for us to show her around the house.When the day came around and we met her, it turned out that my wife already knew Sarah. It was really awkward. I wasn't sure how they knew each other until afterwards.My wife told me that back when she was in high school, her boyfriend at the time cheated on her with Sarah who was in her class.She wasn't enthusiastic about it but my wife didn't seem to have a problem with Sarah being our nanny at first. Our kids love her, she has lots of experience and she's available when we need her.After a couple of weeks with pretty much no issues, my two oldest kids come to me and say that they don't want Sarah to come back. I ask them why and they said she's ""evil"". I ask why they think she's evil and our 6 year old starts crying and says that Sarah is mean and wants to hurt mommy.I talked to my wife in private and at first she said she had no idea what the kids were talking about and that it must be because of something Sarah did. When I pressed it, my wife admitted that she told the kids that Sarah is evil. She said she knows it was a ridiculous plan but she was hoping I'd fire her. My wife asked me to fire the nanny because their history makes her uncomfortable.I asked why it wasn't an issue before. My wife said she just needed to think about it and she's decided Sarah has to go.I told my wife that we can find another nanny but until then there's no reason to get rid of Sarah, and that she was out of line for trying to weaponise the kids against her when Sarah is no danger to them.My wife disagreed and said that we need to just fire Sarah ASAP and hire a temporary babysitter until we can find another nanny. She said that she wasn't weaponising the kids, she was just setting boundaries.This turned into a really heated argument and I called my wife insecure and controlling, and told her she needs to go to therapy. My wife said I'm being inconsiderate of her feelings and need to put myself in her shoes.This was one of our biggest arguments in a very long time and I just want a neutral opinion on whether I was wrong.",AITA for arguing with my wife and refusing to fire the nanny?,ESH
10z13sj,"This happened during December. So basically, I, 55F have 4 children, William 25M, Alexa 16F and Gabriel 14M. My daughter has autism which means she can get a bit moody seometimes. For example, she broke my son's laptop when he did not share the laptop he got for Christmas. My adult son is a stem major and is pretty wealthy so he helped with the costs last Christmas. But, this year, my daughter has been getting teased about her autism and wasn't in the mood for a big celebration so we only had my son visiting. I did not want the same events with Gabriel's laptop to repeat this year so I called Wiliam to not buy any presents. I only bought my daughter presents because she would get upset if she is not the only one with presents. And when it was time for gifts on Christmas, Gabriel started crying for no reason and William left the house. But the day after Christmas, he came into the house with a lot of gifts for Gabriel. I berated him for not taking his sister in consideration. Then he called me a bad mother while his sister was crying and screaming the whole time.AITA for not wanting my daughter cry and berating my son for being so rude and inconsiderate?EDIT: Sorry guys. And thank you all for showing me the errors of my ways. It came to me that my daughter would not be able to be independent. I am the asshole. I should have treated my daughter as a human being who could be treated the same as neuro divergent people. For the confusion, my other daughter who is 28 cut contact with me after college, I always wondered why but I guess it is because she did not feel loved enough. I am planning to take everyone to a resturant to apologize.",AITA for wanting to keep the peace.,YTA
10z274l,"Me (29F) and my fiancé (30M) are getting married this coming December, two years to the day after we got engaged. We are having a very small wedding (50 people) and majority of the guests are friends as we only have three family members from each side attending. Or so I thought...Since we got engaged a year and almost 2 months ago now, we have always said the ceremony and reception are going to be kid-free. His mom, brother, and sister in law (with their 3yo and 4 month old) live in South FL and we live in Colorado. His family received the Save The Dates this week and all we have heard is, ""I hope we can find someone to watch the dogs so we can go"" and I mf quote ""That's asking us to leave our kids with a stranger for several hours not a few; no amount of time really remedies that. It's also a huge expense for us to travel all that way (kids don't fly free) to have three of us not be able to even attend. It's unfortunate we might not make it but at least you'll have FMIL and FBIL there.""... They don't have a single human on earth that they trust enough to watch their kids for about 6 hours, they don't want to try to start to trust someone over the next 10 months, they are concerned who will watch their combined three dogs, and that's the fucking issue right now. She has known this since the day we got engaged, we all talked about it when we went down to celebrate our engagement, and she and I have texted about it two to three times and it wasn't an issue like it is right now. It's not an out of state birthday party or something, we're getting married. We thought about eloping and taking a nice trip but we wanted to celebrate with our families. Since half of them aren't coming, I feel like we should cancel and elope. Her plan was to bring her mom and have her watch the kids but now her mom's husband is sick so she might not want to so now but her message mentioned cost as a huge factor so I'm not sure exactly what the actual reason is. His SIL said ""omg lol don't be dramatic"" about me saying I'll look into getting a refund for whatever we paid for this far. I may be the asshole by cancelling everything and losing out on some of the money we already paid for reserving stuff and I would have to contact everyone else and say jk nvm, no wedding. Am I TA or overreacting?",AITA for wanting to cancel our wedding?,YTA
10z20cb,To preface this I’m (21M) a soldier and currently doing long distance with my fiancé (20F) who is in college in our hometown. My fiancé and I were discussing our marriage timeline and when we could do it and I mentioned the army has programs to help with moving costs which i thought was cool! Well she said she doesn’t think she would move to my base right away and I said I understood she might have to get stuff in order and that’d be okay since it takes a month or two for BAH to kick in for married soldiers. She then said she would actually want to stay in our hometown for the rest of her two years in college to finish her degree. This came from left field to me because we have actively looked at colleges that would accept her credits and everything and have even went looking at apartments together in my area. So as far as I knew we both were on the same page of marriage then credit transfer. Her reasons for wanting to stay are because she likes her current college and couldn’t handle a move from home AND a new school. I told her the base isn’t too far (~4 hours) so we could visit home often and she could still have some sort of support system. I realize it’s a scary prospect to move away from home to a new city and school but from my point of view she knew everything that marrying a soldier entails and I asked over and over if she was okay with that and had my mom talk to us about a soldiers marriage since my mom was an army wife for 14 years. With that said I can’t take the idea of spending 2 years as long distance only to marry her and spend another 2 apart. I’ve been looking at online programs and schools that accept her credits so she doesn’t get pushed back in her education and at the same time online since I figure it’d be less intimidating than a new in person school. She accused me of asking her to throw away her future and education just to live with her but I don’t want that. I want us to find a solution that has us together and works for her too but every solution I give gets shot down. She is refusing any notion of her transferring schools. She even said a new city and school at the same time would stress her so much she thinks we’d end in divorce (big red flag I think) This is all new like I said because just a month ago she was excited about the prospect of us finally living together and a new area and school. I don’t know what prompted this. Am I asking too much here? I realize this is only my side of the disagreement and therefore biased but I hope some insight from y’all will help. If I left anything out that would help you make a verdict let me know and I’ll provide any needed information.EDIT: Thank you all for the insight and advice. I think my best course of action would be postpone the wedding until she’s got her degree and suck up the extra 2 years. It’ll allow us to both work towards a more stable relationship and also our careers. I think maybe what I thought was best for both of us is in reality better for me and asking more of her. 4 hours isn’t too far in the grand scheme of things.Again thank you all you’ve been a great help!,AITA for telling my fiancé I won’t live apart for 2 years?,NAH
10z1vdp,"Obligatied this happened last night right before midnight. I'm 19F.I instructed my driver to leave my order outside of the dorm building on the wall by the entrance doors. It was less than a minute when she finished delivering it and to the point I was down on the first floor outside looking for my order. It was gone because in under a minute the desk clerks immediately hopped up from their desk, grabbed it, and set it behind their counter. And keep in mind, their desk is actually pretty good walk from the doors. There wasn't another sole in site and I knew nobody else would've taken it besides the desk, so I walked my way over and I saw my order on their side of the counter.I walked over very politely, smiling, and I was like, ""oh that's mine!! :)"" (my voice is naturally really soft, shy, & quiet so i know I wasn't being loud or demeaning to these workers.) and they stared at me and asked for some sort of *confirmation* that it was mine. I handed them my student ID and said it should probably be the same name as the receipt and she seemed to get angry and asked for a little more than that.I was like, ""oh yeah okay sorry! i'll go on the app."" i proceeded to go on the uber eats app and i showed them the receipt/where it says ""Ordered Delivered! : Name dropp,d it off at this location"" with the photo, date & time, and order number""They stared at each other making these weird faces and asked me for some type of confirmation code that it was mine and i looked more at the app and all I could show them was what I already did.""i'm sorry there's nothing else I can really show y'all!! i gave my id, receipt, order number, photo, and everything."" they make wide eyes to each other and just holding my bag in their hands. still as soft and quiet as ever, and I'm even trying to laugh at thus point, I said ""can i have my food please? im sorry i showed you it was mine, thanks!!""as SOON as I said that their faces dropped with the BIGGEST widest eyes and mouths I've ever seen completely staring at each other shocked and staring at me and one of the girls yelled to the other ""YOOOO WHY DOES SHE HAVE SUCH AN ATTITUDE?!?!?!? YOOOO"" and now I'm shocked and I tell them ""excuse me? i asked for my food politely because i showed you every confirmation it was mine and it's late. i'm not having an attitude ive been nothing but kind and compliant with what you asked for."" and they just keep staring at each other and me shocked and they slowly hand me my food and immediately switch up and say ""okay well YOU have a goodnight."" like the fake sarcastic tone yknow.I never left though. I walked away from the desk but I stayed in the hall and I didn't go to my room. I hear them start SCREAMING again ""YOOO THAT WHITE GIRL HAD SUCH AN ATTITUDE AAAHHHHAAAAAA"" crying laughing and being mad. I didn't say anything and I left it with them at that.Thank you all!! I messaged my RA about the incident and she said she reported it to the ACD but i have no idea if anything would be done with this. should i go to the hall director himself in his office? EDIT 2: I'm not going to type out something fake, I'm telling it how it is. As I walked back I could hear it going up the elevator just them insulting me, screaming, and laughing. The girls said YOOOOO so loud that it hurt my ears and made me shocked. if it was an offhand quiet comment to the other girl I probably would've let it slide because if they want to gossip like that in front of me, then go ahead but it was loud. it was verbal. it was screaming. it was insulting.this post has nothing to do with race. i love this college and its one of the most diverse in texas, if I had a problem with it, I wouldn't be here.",AITA for asking the front desk of my college to give me my Uber Eats order?,NTA
10z1g1i,"My (19F) brother (22M) is dating this girl (23F) who resembles a lot our mom (47F). They both have the same hair and eye colour, around the same height and even similar interests such as cooking, yoga and even favourite TV shows. She could easily pass off as our mom's daughter (heck, probably even better than me) and the fact that this is the woman my brother is dating and sleeping with is just creeping me the f out. My brother's gf was invited for dinner and seeing her also have similar mannerisms to our mom while eating was just too much for me to take in anymore and so I took my brother out to a private chat. I asked him how can he accept such a creepy situation and he asked me what the hell I was talking about, I said to stop playing dumb, it couldn't be more obvious that he's dating a stand in for our mom and it's creepy as hell how the girl he's dating could literally pass off her as his own better sister even better than I could. My brother called me crazy and said that I'm making perverted scenarios in my head, but I replied that if someone is acting like a pervert, it's him. Well, my brother didn't take it very well and him and his stand in mom, I mean gf, ended up leaving early. My mom was confused and asked me what I discussed with him, but I obviously couldn't tell her the truth and so I made up an excuse. 2 weeks have passed since then and my brother still hasn't contacted either me or my mom and my mom is starting to get worried about him and I wonder if it's my fault for what I told him at that dinner.AITA ?",AITA for being creeped out by how similar my mom and brother's gf are ?,YTA
10z4o8v,"First world problems alert. Our daughter recently turned 16. For her birthday, she was getting a vehicle. She had been learning to drive with my 2010 Nissan Titan while she held her permit. I was gifting her the truck, it was twofold actually. I had been wanting to get a Silverado, she needed a vehicle. The day before her birthday, I had the truck professionally detailed in and out. I take the upmost care of my vehicles, both cosmetically and mechanically. The truck looks brand new practically. On her birthday, I took her to the DMV. She thought we were there to do her road test and get her license. After she passed, I pulled the Titan’s title out and said Happy Birthday! That’s when she pretty much made an embarrassing scene because OMG I’M NOT DRIVING A GRANDPA TRUCK DADDDDD. I’m 39 for the record. She threw a tantrum because she wanted a blue Jeep Wrangler. We walked out momentarily to speak, I wanted her to know exactly how rude her behavior was when her father was giving her a truck any other 16 year old would be extremely grateful for. Eventually she apologized, but we had another hiccup when I told her she’ll get full access to it when I get another truck which was already in the works, I was just waiting on the bank to close the loan. Ultimately, I told her to forget it. She was just acting like a spoiled brat. Later that night, I suppose she thought about her behavior as she began asking questions then said she realized how immature she acted. She asks, “So since you were gonna sign it over to me, does that mean I could drive it for a bit, sell it and then put the money towards a Wrangler?”My response was, of course you could have. By me signing the vehicle over to you, it was officially yours to do what you’d like with it. She says, “Oh. Ok, well I’ve thought about it and I would like to have it.” Nerp. Doesn’t work that way, you gone lost your opportunity girly. She totally flipped out, said I should have told her at the DMV she could sell it and keep the money. She told her mother I was being totally unfair. My wife agreed to her not getting the truck (probably cause she didn’t want me buying a brand new Silverado…insert eye roll). The next day, she very sweetly asked for the truck again and then hinted around about me finally getting a Silverado. I didn’t say anything. I went in my office, printed out a McDonald’s employment application. I stuck it in an envelope, handed it to her. She was ecstatic, probably thinking it was the title. She opened it and said….YOU SUCK. I told her, if you want a Wrangler…GET JOB. My wife said I was an idiot, I took it way too far. Maybe so, but I’ve realized our child needs to learn not only the value of a dollar, but also needs to learn how to be grateful in life. It sucks this happened, since it was part of her birthday. I didn’t anticipate this type of behavior. It was upsetting, I felt like she slung crap at me. Now every time I look at my truck, all I can think…ITSA GRANDPA TRUCK!",AITA? I gave my daughter a McDonald’s application when she was behaving like a brat.,NTA
10z4r9d,"At my condo my boyfriend and I have two assigned parking spots.  One under cover and one out in the open.  The one under cover has a charging station for an electric car.   Until recently neither of us had an electric car.  I however have a beat to hell Jeep Wrangler that I love.  We use it for going almost everywhere.  I usually park it under cover and my boyfriend used the other spot for his smalle car.  We recently purchased a Nissan Leaf for him.  So now I have to use the other spot.  Not really a big deal.  Except for my asshat neighbor.  They seem to think that since they drive a huge truck, and my boyfriend would always park to give them room, that I should do the same.  But like I said. Beat to absolute hell Wrangler.  So now when they park over the line I park as close as I can to them.  Then I jump out the back or other side of I can.  If I get home before them I park centered in my spot.  Which forces them to park centered in their spot like adults.  Last week they caught me parking close to their truck again and started yelling at me for parking like an asshole.  So I took a picture of their parking job and sent it to the condo board.  And they were fined for parking over the line.  My boyfriend says that I shouldn't be starting shit but he hates confrontation.  I see no reason why I should cater to these knuckle dragging troglodytes.  I never ding their truck or anything.  But the passenger has to crawl in and bring in their side mirror so they can pull out sometimes. I could park further over but then I inconvenience the neighbors on the other side.  I know if I had a better car I wouldn't do this. But since I don't I cannot be bothered to care.  I'm not sure it was them but somebody keyed my Jeep.  I laughed and fixed it with nail polish and a sticker.  They think I'm an asshole and my boyfriend thinks I'm antagonizing them.  I think I'm in the right.  So I guess I'm here for an outside perspective.  AITA?","AITA for ""parking like an asshole""",NTA
10z47ni,"So where I work, there has been a homeless couple living in a car in our parking lot for several months. The car doesn't belong to them, had a smashed in window, and was from out-of-state. We never bothered them, until over the course of a few weeks, they came in, drank hand sanitizer, and started asking customers for money. The final straw was when the woman also told one of my (male) employees that he owed her child support. After that, I called the police about it, who said the car wasn't reported stolen, so there was nothing they could do. I called a tow company, who came and took the car, kicked them out, and had them grab all of their stuff. Now I can see them walking around aimlessly without anywhere to go and I feel so guilty. So, AITA for towing an abandoned car that some people were living in?","AITA for towing a homeless person's ""borrowed"" car?",NTA
10z263r,"So to add to context, my ex and I are on the other side of a 13 year relationship which ended with a 5 year restraining order where he nor anyone on his behalf can contact me, or reference me in anything on any social media platform, he cannot come near me or reside in any community near me. The only contact that can be made is in relation to our 3 children and has to be via an agreed 3rd party on both regards. Our relationship consisted heavily of domestic violence in many forms...although whilst living through it I was blindly convinced that I had managed to shield it from the children as for the most part he had an amazing bond with 2 of them. Our younger boy (now 10) just clashed with him and they never really got along overly well. At the end of the relationship it was horrendous and long story short the final straw and unforgivable point was when he video called our eldest (11m) and committed a fake suicide attempt whilst pleading for another chance...knowing his children (11m and 9m) were witnessing....aside from not being hands on, and disappearing for his social life, this was the only negative factor that they obviously saw from their father. They have naturally been very very confused and emotional since. I completely relocated, lost most of my belongings in the process and have rebuild mine and my children's lives from scratch near my brother over 200 miles away. Now here is where I may be TA, its taken 10 months but I insisted on a contact centre even though court documents don't say this is needed, he provided doctors notes to social services that he went to them and said he had a mental breakdown so they said as long as there is no repeat that they have no concerns as his issues are only directed towards me. After refusing for the first 19 months he finally agreed but now it is my sons now 12 and 10 who do not want to see him...and honestly I am not overly interested in trying to force the matter.  I have tried to be unbiased when talking about it with them (which is hard given the last and as now he has deliberately changed his circumstances to lower cs payments which he doesnt pay anyway while telling the kids about all of the holidays hes been going on) but ultimately I have said its their own choice so in the first visit only our daughter (3) went in. Apparently I should be trying harder to separate my own emotions and let him prove himself to the boys and I should encourage them to be open to this. I personally believe that he is now reaping what he sowed as clearly they have made up their own mind. I have been conscious to not talk poorly of their father around them, but it has become evident that they picked up on far more than I ever realised from during the relationship and have made their own judgement of him. Personally I feel that he will not sustain the visits as they are costly and he has to travel 200 miles just to see them for 2 hours, and I refuse to entertain a centre half way when he will not pay child support. Am I being and AH and should I try to get them to give him a chance to prove that he's changed?",AITA for not encouraging kids to see their dad?,NTA
10z3wog,"A few friends and I have been meeting up after work once a week on Fridays to play Dungeons and Dragons (DnD) for the past 3 months (though we took a break over Christmas and new years, and have skipped an additional week here and there). I have a wife who is a stay at home mom taking care of our one and a half year old daughter while I'm not home. Recently she's been getting upset at me the nights I'm out playing DnD because I'm not home to help her take care of our daughter on Friday evenings. She feels like it's not fair that I get to hang out with friends once a week while she has to stay home watching out daughter. I've told her that I'm more than willing to let her go out with her friends when she wants to and I'll stay home with our daughter, but she says that's not the point. I don't feel like going out one night a week (or less often) is a lot to ask, but she seems to feel differently. Am I the asshole here?",AITA for going out to play Dungeons and Dragons with friends while leaving my wife and daughter at home?,NTA
10z38fv,"2 weeks ago, my best friend and his fiancé got into an argument where the phrase, “the wedding is off” was thrown around, so he messaged his side of the party to inform us that there wasn’t going to be a wedding. Secretly released, I told him if he needed anything I would help and support him. Later in the week, I call to see ho he’s doing and he’s fine and apparently his fiancé “misspoke” and my friend “overreacted” and the wedding wasn’t off. 🙄. Last weekend I get a group message from his fiancé about how the wedding plans have changed AGAIN, and the new link to go make reservations. A few hours later he calls me and says he and his fiancé are eloping and that he has to uninvite his entire party, but not me…I was really thrown off by this but I didn’t really react initially. A few hours later his brother calls me and asks if I was uninvited as well. I told him I wasn’t but that I was seriously considering declining my invitation due to the situation. He told me our friendship wouldn’t be effected, since he and I were already friends prior to this. Yesterday I talked to my friend who stated his mom was extremely upset with him because his brothers both felt betrayed by him and exiled them and picked me over them to still be at his wedding ceremony over them. I told him he needs to mend the relationship with his brothers. He and I are meeting up later this week and I’m wondering if I should tell him to reconsider everything. AITA?",AITA for not wanting to go to my best friends wedding?,NTA
10z099m,"Let's get the context out of the way. I am several years into sobriety from opiates and have also not had a drink in many years. I choose not to drink because of many years observing my parents relationship with alcohol. I, who am not an expert by any means, would consider them both to be highly functional alcoholics. Every thing is a chance to drink some sort of liquor. If they aren't at work there's a drink in their hand and even then sometimes a mimosa or Bailey's coffee is on the menu. One occasion stands out, I was 6 months sober and to celebrate my mom offered to take me to lunch because she was proud of me. We proceeded to sit at the bar of on the border while I watched her consume a fishbowl margarita chased down with a tequila shot all while saying how proud she was of me.. I could go on but for the sake of this post I won't. I should mention that I have NO problem being around alcohol or those that choose to drink. Everyone I know does and I don't judge or give anyone a hard time for what they choose to do. My issue here is my parents relationship with alcohol and the fact neither my kids or I get to spend time with them when there isn't alcohol on their breath.So basically I asked them to host my son's 2nd birthday party due to space but asked them not to serve alcohol bc that is their M.O. ""we are hosting so therefore we should serve alcohol and get everyone drunk"". My mom basically told me that while they weren't going to be handing out shots, their new bar that they are so proud of, would be open to anyone that asked. Since then it has been brought up by them many times, almost as if to give me a hard time for asking this of them. Even going so far as to say ""Well she doesn't have to drink but I will"". I have not voiced my honest reasoning for why I didn't want alcohol served and have only said its because I didn't feel it was appropriate for the hour and a half we will be celebrating my two year olds birthday.. Am I being overly sensitive?? Is it normal to drink at children's parties? Do I need therapy? LolSorry for poor grammar!",AITA for asking my parents not to serve booze at my kids bday party?,NTA
10z214d,"**Sorry for the bad english**My boyfriend (26M) and I (24F) have been dating for about eight months and we have connected quite well. He has a fairly well-paying job but he lives with his parents, so he doesn't mind spending his money on things for me. I always allowed them to be only romantic details or dates, since after all I am an adult and my expenses had to be paid by me.A month ago I lost my job, and although I had savings, I had to give up luxuries like the gym and the nutritionist, among other things. He had offered me several times to pay for it and I denied it but was grateful, until he said that he also wanted to go to the gym and diet. It seemed like a nice thing to share between the two of us and I thought this would help support us in our goals, so I finally agreed to let him pay for both. That's where the problem started.I can no longer ""cheat"" (like agreeing to eat junk food with my family or friends), because if he finds out he threatens me to stop paying for the nutritionist (additionally, I'm not overweight. I'm 1.75 m tall and weigh 67 kg , it is not perfect but it is a healthy weight, my goal is more aimed at having a ""fit body""). He paid for the gym on the condition that I attend at least three times a week. Discussing what we would do on Valentine's Day, he told me that he would give me chocolates if I ""gained eight pounds of lean mass."" He offered to buy me AirPods but ""only if I took care of them"", since he thinks I'm careless about things like cell phones. I did not accept the latter but I appreciated the offer.Those are the things I remember. But there have been a few more situations. I have started to deny him gifts because they no longer feel like gifts, from my point of view, and come with a certain amount of pressure. I told him about this and added that before I liked him to give me gifts because he gave them simply for loving me, not with conditions. He got angry and said that I should be less proud, and that all he asks for is something that he doesn't think are conditions because ""those are obvious things that should happen or should be done anyway."" I want to know if I'm being an AH or capricious with him.",AITA for denying gifts from my boyfriend if they have conditions?,NTA
10z0jrp,"**TL;DR** at bottom.GF \[F30\] has never liked the relationship I \[M30\] have with my best friend \[F27\] let's call her Luna, she has never done anything to my GF but she swears it's because I trust her so much, from the beginning of the relationship with GF Luna knew the situation and she came to me saying ""I know your girlfriend doesn't like me but now she is my best friend's girlfriend and we are still friends"".In 3 years of relationship, the first two years were a very toxic and controlling environment from GF, wouldn't let me greet Luna or even send her a message on her birthday because it would be very hurtful for my GF and I ended up giving her what she wanted, because at that time it was difficult for me to say ""no"", never actually stood for my limits and ended up distancing myself from Luna.A year ago I was at a breaking point because now the situation was not only against Luna, now it was also against other friends and family, everyone began to notice the change and as I moved away from them it began to eat me up from the inside and I decided to give ourselves some time.Started therapy and felt that I needed my friends and ventilate myself, I went to Luna to kind of apologize and told her some things about what had happened with my GF, she told me that regardless of what happened she was still my friend.Came back with my GF, with the condition she also started going to therapy, we agreed that my limits would be respected.Now Luna is getting married in a few months, they sent me a wedding invitation for one person and when I told GF about it she got really upset because she says that it's disrespectful towards her and towards me that they do not invite a SO regardless of what happened.We ended up fighting about the invitation to a wedding that she ""doesn't even want to go in the first place"" (quote from her) but because she wasn't invited now she wants me to ask for a +1 because if not I'm not giving her ""her place"" as my GF, the other option is to not go to the wedding that way she would also feel that I am giving her ""her place"".She told me her friends say that I'm wrong for not asking for an invitation for her because it's not about whether she wants to go or not, it's about the place that I give her as my GF and I'm confused as hell, I'm just respecting Luna's decision.AITA not asking for an extra invitation for the wedding?**TL;DR** GF never liked the relationship I have with my best friend, GF tried to distance me from her and other friends, we broke up, I told my best friend in a venting moment, came back to GF, now my best friend is getting married and she wants just me at the wedding that day, GF said that she ""doesn't even want to go in the first place"" but it's disrespectful towards me and towards her to not invite a SO regardless of the situation, I don't feel the same like I have to ask for an extra invitation.. AITA?",AITA not asking an extra invitation for my SO for the wedding of my best friend?,NTA
10z3k5a,"First off I wanna apologize if there’s any mistakes, english is not my first language.So I (25F) was supposed to go to my friend’s (24M) birthday weekend getaway last weekend.The week prior to this getaway I traveled to see my dad and my grandparents out of the city to the countryside and my original plan was to comeback a few days before the event, but my mom got COVID and figured it was best for me to stay at my dad’s place while she recovered, also I wasn’t in a good mental state either, so being with my dad those days helped me a lot. I suspected my friend didn’t take this news well because he only replied to my birthday message with one sentence and ignored the birthday post I made for him on instagram. A few days later, I found out through one of our mutual friend that he completely changed the story saying I made up having COVID and that he offered me a test but I refused, making me look bad in front of all of our friends and his family. I got extremely angry to the point I cried myself to sleep. It’s been a week since the incident and he still hasn’t talked to me and I want to confront him cause I want to get my side of the story, and also debunk the bullshit story he made to make me look bad. So, am I the asshole?",AITA for not attending a friend’s birthday weekend?,NTA
10z1qbu,"My (32F) nephew just turned 1 and I helped my sister (32F) and brother in law (32M) plan and host the party at their place. We have some friends in common and they were invited to attend. One of these mutual friends, Sally (32F), has not been a good friend to me through some pretty shitty things, violated boundaries, been really creepy towards me, criticized my relationship with my husband and has said some things behind my back. I asked her about some of her behaviour a few months ago and by the end of the convo things just didn't feel right. She tried to make plans and I said I was busy. To be honest, I didn't think she even wanted to be my friend based on her behaviour so I didn't think I had to end the friendship explicitly. I thought we'd kind of drift apart, as we had been.So a few months pass and my nephew's first birthday happens. I was busy with hosting duties and didn't make much of an effort to chat with Sally. Thinking back, I chatted with her as much as I chatted with anyone else at the party, except close family.The next day, she sent me a long message about how I was punishing her by ignoring her (I wasn't and had chatted with her?), how she could feel my anger, and just making a whole bunch of accusations about how she felt scapegoated for some unrelated things. After she unloaded all of that, she said she wouldn't talk to me until the summer.I thought it was weird, kinda mean, and told her I didn't appreciate her untrue accusations. I told her I think it's best we just end our friendship. She said I was purposefully misunderstanding her but she though it was best we end our friendship too. Shortly after she unfriended me on socials.Anyway, I can't believe this happened because it all seems so childish. I like to think I handled it as best as I could but I still wonder: was I the asshole?",AITA for avoiding a friend at a child's birthday party,NTA
10z2cdl,"Me and my old man fancied going down the pub after work. We’re both tradesmen and graft our asses off at our jobs, plus I hadn’t seen my dad in 2 weeks or so since I live with mates.My sister and her fiancé usually come down the pub with us as they live with my parents, and we enjoy their company don’t get me wrong. They asked if dad was going to go to the pub tonight and he said he’d see how he felt. In the meantime they went to walk their dog whilst me and dad were watching TV. He suggests going down the pub and I was down for it too so off we went. My mum asked if we went to pub on the family group chat as we weren’t home and we replied with a selfie of us with the caption “No…”. (I will add for context that this is our way of suggesting the rest of the family come out and meet us at the pub)Now usually going to the pub to us at least is kind of an open invite thing, like if we’re already there we don’t mind them rocking up and hanging out with us; it goes without saying as we’re family. Instead they go off on us saying how it was rude that we didn’t invite them out directly. Baring in mind we go down the pub most Friday’s with them, and I had gone out with them whilst my parents were away last week, so we don’t really see the issue. Plus they had shit to do too, although walking a dog isn’t a problem as the pub is dog friendly. It also doesn’t help that my sister doesn’t have many friends outside of family to go out with instead, which in all honesty I don’t have any control over.TLDR: I didn’t directly invite my sister and her fiancé to the pub and they weren’t happy despite the fact we go most weekends together as a family, AITA?",AITA for not inviting my sister and fiancé to the pub?,NTA
10z2axe,"My boyfriend has had a hard life. An abusive childhood and trials and tribulations has contributed to him having a drinking problem. Once he starts drinking he is unable to stop. Admittedly, I’ve had a much cushier life. Family that I know would do anything for me and an easy upbringing. I’ve never struggled with addiction. We have a beautiful baby daughter and I try to encourage him to stay sober because I wanted to keep our family together. I don’t think heavy drinking is good to be around for a child. I want a great childhood for her. The issue is, my boyfriend goes out and drinks (since I don’t want him to at home) he goes out all night until early mornings anywhere from 1-4 nights a month. So not every night but enough to make me uncomfortable. We share location for safety reasons. I found out after months of him lying to me that a house he was going to didn’t belong to a male friend he said it did. It was actually a woman he has been friends with for years that I never met. She is an older woman. I was livid he was seeing her behind my back. He claims it was completely platonic. She knows how it is to be an addict and have a hard life. I just don’t understand like she does. They drink together and talk about life. I felt betrayed and broke up with him. He says he couldn’t tell me because I wouldn’t understand. He says I judge and would be jealous if he was honest. I think if he can look me in the face and lie to me about where he was going, what else could he lie about? He says sorry he lied, but also acts like I’m blowing things out of proportion. That he was right about how I would act. I say, he shouldn’t go whether he told me about it or not out of respect for our relationship. Especially when it’s through the night. He told me that it doesn’t matter the gender of the person he hangs out with. He says because of how I grew up I don’t understand what’s really an issue in life. He said this is small in the scheme of things. That he has a different perspective and likes to talk to people who understands him but he loves me. We have to live together for the time being. He doesn’t have the funds to go anywhere and hardly has family. We have a daughter. I don’t know if IATA for not working through this with him. I just feel hurt beyond belief. He is a good father though and loves his daughter and I never let him drink around her. TLDR: AITA for leaving my boyfriend after he lied to me about hanging out with another woman? He has addiction issues but we have a daughter together.",AITA for being mad my [32 F] boyfriend [38 M] for hanging out with a [43 F] behind my back?,NTA
10z39l5,"My sister in law has 2 kids a 3 year old boy and a 6 year old girl. Since my sister in law works 50 hours a week, my mother in law (58f) watches the kids. I (21F) watch the toddler at their house while the girl is at school sometimes to give my mother in law a break, today was one of those days.While watching the toddler I normally do laundry and hang it up, since I don't want to leave this very accident prone child inside alone I normally just take him outside and let him run around and play. I only ever leave him inside for 2 reasons. I'm just going on the porch (grab/sign for a package, call for the dog) or he's sleeping and I need to hang up clothes. Today the USP driver came and I had to sign for a package, while outside Mr smarty pants locked the screen door on me.. I was locked outside for about 10 minutes before mother in law pulled up the driveway after picking up the girl from school. After explaining the situation she was PISSED and started going off on me ""there's no reason in the world you should leave a toddler alone"" ""irresponsible"" ""immature"" ""I'll never let you watch him again"" She yelled at me for maybe 10 minutes saying she could call the cops on me for child endangerment and child abuse. The whole time she's going off on me the 6 year old girl is terrified and starting to cry and the toddler is inside doing who knows what. I had enough and basically screamed ""shut up"" then started talking about all the times shes left the toddler inside alone. Including a time a month ago where she was outside getting the mail when I walked over and inside and she was outside for 30/40 more minutes when he started choking on a cookie (he had a plate of them she gave him before she went outside), I handled that then yelled for her and when she checked on him said ""I didn't even know you were up here, thank God you were"". I asked her how it was okay she could leave him ""alone""  for 40 minutes but I can't go on the porch for 5 minutes.I didn't tell other than telling her to shut up but I was very rude. I got inside and mother in law told me I'm a bitch and need to leave her home. Sister in law messaged me about 30 minutes later saying I can't babysit anymore and that I'm a bitch for screaming at her mom etc etc. So am I the asshole for putting my mother in law in her place?",AITA for putting my mother in law in her place for being a hypocrite after we got locked out of her house?,NTA
10z4c16,"I, 37F, have been living with my boyfriend 40M, for 5 months now. He openly admits that he’s a bit grotty sometimes. He told me openly on one of our early dates that he’s ‘tidy, but dirty’ - he can’t be bothered with cleaning and sanitising, but likes things to look ‘in place’. I laughed and said we were a good match as I’m ‘clean, but untidy’. I have a brain that’s a bit scatty so leave jobs half done, like tidying clothes away, but I like things hygienically clean.Since we’ve been living together, I’ve been cleaning the bathroom and kitchen, and hoovering and dusting constantly. I go out to work, but sometimes work from home. He does most, if not all of the cooking, and works from home all week.I’ve ribbed him before about only showering once or twice a week, lightly teasing, but at other times have stressed the importance of actually being clean - like when we first moved in, I told him he should be washing hands with soap after bathroom use, even for number 1s. He was like ‘what, even then? It’s not like I’m touching any urine’ but I made my point.Fast forward to this evening, we are having a meal in at home, watching a funny show and having some beers. They’re large bottles so I have mine in a glass. He went to the bathroom for a wee, came back and we had some jokes, and then he stuck his finger in my drink ‘for a laugh’. I laughed, out of nervousness (I have a nervous laugh as I find confrontation difficult) but said that it was disgusting and did he even wash his hands after using the bathroom. He said ‘… yeah, of course, well… smell them’ - to which I did and said they didn’t smell like soap. He was like well, yeah, water. I was really upset and said I felt disgusted he would do that and ruin my drink. I ended up tipping it away, as it put me off drinking it, the idea of germs.I’ve tried twice now this evening to express that I’m disappointed he would do that, but more so that he won’t even apologise to me. His argument is that it’s not a big deal (to him, I pointed out, to me, it is) and that there’s bigger things going on in the world and I should reframe my reality and be more empathetic. I replied that it he was so empathetic then he would see I am hurt by his actions and upset, and apologise to me. He said that was twisting his words and he’s not going to apologise for something that he’s not sorry for. He also said he’s reached 40 with no issues and isn’t about to change his habits based on what I think he should be doing. I love him dearly, and I don’t want to argue with him 😔 but I also don’t want to have my feelings dismissed and set a precedent that what I feel doesn’t warrant a) a conversation or b) an apology if in his mind it’s not valid / worth his time.AITA?",AITA for asking my boyfriend to wash his hands after using the bathroom?,NTA
10z2162,"Gonna try to keep it simple,  my dad's side of the family are not close. He wasn't there much when i(37M) was a kid and none of them really reached out to me when i was growing up. I spent several months in foster care because my mom left me with my maternal grandmother, who ended up becoming to sick to care for me for a while. None of his family ""had room for me"". This is despite my grandmothers knowing wach other for years prior to my birth. As an adult, my dad and i kinda mended things a bit and have some kind of relationship,  not exactly ""father and son"" but we at least acknowledge we're related. As for the rest of the family, I'm ""Bob's son"" most don't recall my name and I've had to reintroduce myself more times than i can count. I've run into some of them out in public and even though i know who they are by name, they always look at me like "" i know you somehow "".My dad has a daughter(45F) from his marriage b4 he met my mother( both were married to other ppl when i was made). My sister and i got along really well until last week when she informed me that our uncle's wife died. I never knew he was married. Haven't even seen him in 20 yrs. She plans on coming back to the state for the funeral and asked if i was going.  I told her no. I don't know the woman and barely know the family. I told her I would meet her either b4 or after it... or she could crash at my house instead of a hotel. She called me stubborn and said that it was a chance to mend the bad blood in the family.  I told her that i was not going, they made their choices and I've lived my life fine without them. I'm not responsible for ther circumstances of my birth and if they treat me like the black sheep because of it, I don't need to be around them. So now  we're currently not talking to each other after she hung up on me.",AITA for not attending my aunt's funeral?,NTA
10z1es8,"My husband (39M) and I (36F) have been married for 10 years and have 3 kids (9, 7, & 5).  As you can imagine, with 3 kids it can be incredibly hard for my husband and I to get away and have extended personal time.  I like to think we do a good job of giving each other small amounts of alone time when it's needed, but sometimes you need to get away from everything for a few days to really clear your head and hit the reset button.  Now that all 3 of our kids are in school, it makes it a bit easier to get away.  We have discussions and plan these things in advance so that we know schedules and can move things around if we need to.  About a month ago, I went on a girls' trip with my friends for a long weekend.  Before I left, my husband started planning his own trip with some of his friends, but that isn't happening until late March.  When I was gone for the long weekend, my husband really struggled with the kids.  Our older 2 kept fighting and our 5-year-old got a stomach bug.  To his credit, he handled everything and didn't make me feel guilty at all about taking time for myself.  When I got back, I was rejuvenated very thankful for the time away.  Last week, I got a call from my sister.  She was supposed to go to Nashville with one of her friends for a few days, but her friend had to cancel due to a family emergency.  The AirBnB they rented was already paid for and it was past the timeline for getting any money back.  So asked if I wanted to go with her since her friend couldn't.  I brought it up to my husband and he pretty much immediately got upset.  He said I should wait until he goes on his trip before I take any more extended trips myself.  I told him this was a spur the moment type thing and since I have never been to Nashville but always wanted to go, this was a chance to do that and to spend some quality time with my sister.  I told him he can plan another trip for after his one in March if he wants, but that didn't change his mind.  He's especially upset because the trip with my sister would be 5 days, which means more of the weekday stuff would fall on him and he couldn't just plan a long weekend with the kids.  He also brought up how it wouldn't be ""fair"" of me to take so much time away again when he hasn't had a break like that yet.  I told him he can take some smaller amounts of time to himself in the meantime to make up for it, but he said that's not the same as being gone for 3-5 days like I have.  I need to give my sister an answer ASAP in case she needs to find someone else to go with.  I really want to go with her and I feel like my husband is blowing this out of proportion just because I already had a trip away.  He has his time away planned, he just has to wait a bit.",WIBTA For taking another trip before my husband has a chance to take some time away,YWBTA
10z4wgf,"So yesterday my boyfriend (39M) nags me for 5 hours while I’m (34F) working about how we need to make the punishments for our kids fair. His daughter throws massive fits about not going to school and ends up late. My son stole a Lego sword from her and tried to trade it with his friend. Both kids are in the wrong yes. Either way, we don’t settle the argument because I’m working all day and then immediately on mom duty afterwards. Note: he barely works but still has to maintain paying the bills in the house while I cover the mortgage and he is also working on finishing the remodel on the house.Well last night I’m laying in bed and he gets up at about 10:30 wanting to go grab beer from the store. He looked at some old family photos and I guess he was having some sort of emotional response to it. Well 12:30 comes around and something outside wakes me so I go out and he is in the camper high on I guess mushrooms smoking pot. I’m also pregnant.Well I get mad because he has a history of drug abuse and it’s Thursday night, his kid in inside, my kid is inside, and it seems like a very selfish time to get high. Well, my son ends up waking up shortly after with the stomach bug throwing up all night. It wakes his daughter up who is sad because her dad is not around and she’s worried. Now I’m pissed and he says it’s not fair that I’m upset and that I’m being controlling. AITA?",AITA: Boyfriend does mushrooms late at night while I’m pregnant taking care of the kids,NTA
10z3f21,"Hi People! I need some opinions on this. I don’t think I’m in the wrong, but no one I’m this thread ever does right 😂So my (31F) sister (37) has a car she loves more than people (not kidding). Every other month she gets it detailed inside and out. This is a mobile service and the guy just requires a driveway and power. This is where I come into play. My sisters house doesn’t have a driveway and is also far out of town so she has asked if it’s okay for her car to be detailed in my driveway. She gave plenty of notice so we could give the guy access and move our cars and such. Not a problem. Now we get to yesterday afternoon. She messages me and is like ‘oh btw need your driveway tomorrow morning to get my car detailed’. No asking, no apology for the late notice. She proceeded to tell me he would start the service at about 8:15am. I said that won’t work, my car isn’t leaving the driveway until 8:30 until I have to leave for work. She got upset I wouldn’t move my car early and I said that if she had given me more notice that would have been fine but there isn’t much space to move the car and I honestly also don’t see the point for 15 minutes. She then texted ‘Thanks for nothing.’I still don’t think I did anything wrong? I’m mad at the late notice and lack of respect (like not apologising or ever saying please or thanks). I told her fine, have the guy come but I won’t leave until 8:30 and the driveway better be empty when I come back at 2pm. Haven’t spoken to her since and I’m still pretty mad. So am I the asshole?",AITA for being annoyed at my sister for not giving me notice of her plans?,ESH
10z3cqp,"I (17M) and my friend (18M) have been friends for over 2 years now. Recently, my friend has been complaining to me and our other friend about his social anxiety, shyness, and being anti-social. Whenever he messages us feeling anxious, we try to comfort him or try to take his mind off of it.A few hours ago, he said, ""I can't talk to strangers, I have social anxiety, I'm shy and anti-social."" He says he has meds for his social anxiety but never takes them.I replied with, ""Wouldn't complaining about having social anxiety in situations and not taking your meds, especially if those meds are there to help with social anxiety, be kinda counterintuitive?"" I didn't get a reply, so I followed up with, ""If you want to see improvement with your social anxiety, which could be factors of being shy and being anti-social, then I would recommend actually taking your meds. Letting things grow over time only makes them worse.""He ignores the first message and replied with ""no,"" for the second message. When I asked why he doesn't take his meds, he replied with ""Why you wanna know?"" I explained, ""Because it's counter-intuitive to talk about something and deny any help.""He started joking about it saying ""No thanks, I choose my own destiny."" And now he’s acting as if this conversation never happened.I feel like I'm trying to help, but I don't want to come off as an asshole. AITA for bringing it up?For further clarification:1. His medication. as someone who takes medication for OCD and social anxiety i understand the viewpoints for that but when I said he doesn't take his meds it's not that he's worried about it or anything else, he just doesn't want to. He likes the attention, so he vents, wanting help but doesn't take the advice. The meds are there as a 2nd resort, when you see a psychiatrist, they ask if you think meds could be an option and by any means I'm not saying it's a cure.2. The worry of how I approached it. I defiantly could have approached it better, but he is the type of person that if you simply light hearten it, it won't work but as you can see it won't work regardless.3. The suggestions of ""if i don't like the complaining just stop being his friend"" i have stopped being his friend (due to toxicity, making my mental health worse and a range of being a bad friend) but that ended a few weeks ago because I believed in second chances but as you can tell from this post, I'm starting to second doubt the friendship because he hasn't changed.4. The people saying, he probably just wanted to vent or complain but not want feedback. Typically, when someone vents, they are looking for advice. At least whenever he vents and complains, he wants advice.Thank you for those who read this post","AITA my friend complains about having social anxiety but never takes his meds, AITA for bringing it up?",NTA
10z4kof,"About 10 years ago my(35f) parents(66/67) were experiencing housing instability, so with the help of my husband(40m) we bought them a house. The conditions were they would pay rent in the amount of the mortgage. I bought at a really good time and the payments were significantly lower than rent prices. They kept up on rent payments for the most part but occasionally needed financial help in one form or another. Fast forward a few years and just about every member of my family has lived in this house at one point or another because of different life situations. What started out as a blessing for my parents became a blessing for all my siblings too.My parents got divorced about 3 years ago and when Dad moved out, Mom found the house more and more difficult to upkeep. This resulted in her moving in with me for a year. In that time I started the process of my own divorce. We moved as a unit with my 4 kids from the apartment I shared with my soon-to-be-ex into the over 100 year old “hard to upkeep” house. He gets the timeshare and I get to keep the house. At this point I feel I should explain my mom and I never really got along for extended periods of time. Moving out as a young adult was the best thing to happen to our relationship. We both acknowledge living together for the past 1.5 years has been challenging and we’re better off not being roommates.Now comes the tricky bit. She knows I’ve been looking at houses to buy but thinks refinancing the current house would give me enough capital to start over. In this economy it’s just not realistic. Since I bought so long ago and my neighborhood has improved over the years, I have quite a bit of equity built up in my home. I’ve spoken to her about selling and having enough equity for both of us to start over somewhere nicer (newer). She seems to think staying in the house is best for her regardless of the difficulty she had in keeping it up.So my question is WIBTA if I sold this “communal” family home against my mother’s wishes so we can all have a better quality of life?",WIBTA if I sold the home my mom and I both live in?,NTA
10z1oz7,"I'm selling a phone on Facebook marketplace and many people messaged me. One person offered a deposit, so I gladly accepted it. They have since changed their mind and want their money back. They wasted my time from finding a legit buyer, so I feel like keeping the deposit is fair compensation.",AITA for keeping the deposit?,NTA
10z53bn,"My (28) girlfriend (26) is on a long weekend girls trip in a popular night-time town. Last night was the first night she was there, so I was expecting some crazy story when I woke up this morning.I woke up this morning with a text from her at 6AM saying “Just getting into bed! What a crazy night…..”, which had me looking forward to her waking up so I could hear all about it. Instead, she woke up to tell me about how her and her friends were at a younger male celebrities (with his friends) house until 5AM, and he was in fact trying to hook up with at least one of them. I’m very confident my girlfriend didn’t even notion that she was interested in getting with any of them, so this isn’t a trust thing. At the very most, it made me feel uncomfortable, which I told her. She interpreted it as me being angry, and she started repetitively saying “Sorry” and mentioning how “she doesn’t want to feel like I don’t trust her.” I had barely said much other than explaining to her how/ why it made me feel uncomfortable. A few messages later she sent something like “Ok well I’m good if you are.” She’s on vacation, and I don’t want ruin her trip or make a scene, so I just said yeah sure, to which she didn’t even reply and completely changed the topic. Now, I feel crazy. I feel invalid and stupid for even bringing it up. I don’t know what to do. Should I wait until she returns and try to talk to her about how we communicate? In general, I don’t feel like we have open lanes to talk about deeper feelings and it seems to always inspire an argument when we do.Anyways, AITA for feeling uncomfortable about this whole thing?",AITA for being uncomfortable about my girlfriend being at a celebrities house,YTA
10z1wp7,"I think this entire situation was mostly miscommunication, but I wanted to ask someone impartial.This Sunday, My older sibling -who had been staying the weekend with their partner- called me around 11 pm to ask about my mom’s whereabouts, since she didn’t pick up. My Ma recently joined a hiking group, and a few hours before I had picked her up from her most recent trip (and her battery was dead).I explained my sibling the situation, and ended the call.Then comes the tricky part. I had gone out to dinner with some friends, and my Ma had warned me to call the house in case of emergencies; so before turning my phone off for the night I sent a voice note to my sibling with the words:“In case of emergencies call the house.”The morning after I wake up with texts from my sibling saying the next:•”[…] relax a shitton”•”the only thing I did was call you about mom since I didn’t know what happened to her”•”take notice of what you say”I was furious and hurt.My mom told me that I shouldn’t take those words with a mean tone, since they were text words; and that there is a chance that my sibling took my words as “don’t bother me, next time call home”I took a pause at that and texted back the meaning behind my words and asked if what my Ma guessed was true.  I was left on seen.",AITA for telling my sibling to “call home in case of emergencies”??,NAH
10z4grj,"My wife and I have been together over 8 years, been married for less than 1 year.In 2018 she confessed to cheating on me with a coworker, expressed her feelings on how she felt and why she had to confess, and moved to another job within the same month of telling me.This has affected our relationship, mainly me. I knew accepting her apology was going to be difficult, but I wasn’t ready to move on, and understood people make mistakes. Boundaries were set on what makes me comfortable and doesn’t for what happened, and she was super understanding. Her next few jobs had no coworkers besides a few other girls on her social media.I rarely post, not the biggest fan of social media, she is. She showed me a notification a few weeks back of some celebrity that replied to her comment, and noticed a few different men requested to follow, to which she accepted.I ask, she tells me they are coworkers. I ask her about what we’ve talked about before, and if what I asked of her has expired? Or was not having guys from work on social media too much to ask?She says she feels controlled by me, to where it leads to an argument resulting in me just telling her I don’t care anymore.She argues “obviously you do” to where I just tell her what does it matter, she does it anyway.This was a week ago, and I can’t stop thinking about it.If she asked me to not follow coworkers because she may be insecure, I absolutely would care enough to make her feel comfortable and not do it.Am I wrong for thinking she should do the same? Am I being controlling?Thanks.",AITA for telling my wife who cheated once to not have male coworkers on her social media?,NTA
10z4j9h,"I own a business (95%) with my business partner (5%).  We are opening a second location, and he has taken lead on painting/frontage.  We’ve both been putting in a lot of work to open it, but I trust him very much and he pitched an idea for how the second location should look (outwardly) and I said it sounds great, go for it.  He’s been working with a graffiti artist to paint it and get it looking nice.  It opened yesterday, and the frontage still doesn’t have our business name on it, anything indicating we are open, and the paint job in general isn’t finished.  On Wednesday, the day before yesterday, I was there with the artist.  She said “I really want to get the sign up tonight” to which I responded “Yeah you really should.  I don’t want to open tomorrow without something with at least our name on it.”  She didn’t paint the sign that night or the next day so today I called her today and said “Hey I really need that sign up today, please get it done” and she agreed.  Apparently she had plans with my business partner to do some more art and she torpedoed those in order to get the sign done.  My business partner called me up and is relatively pissed that I didn’t tell him I told her to make the sign, but she never made it seem like it would conflict with anything else she had scheduled.Obviously a classic miscommunication scenario, but my business partner feels like I “went around” him when in my opinion I just said “yeah sounds good” to something the artist proposed and then a day or two later I pushed her on it and she blew him off without telling him.  AITA?",AITA for “going around” my business partner?,YTA
10z4902,"I currently have 2 job offers. Job 1 is a fairly decent job with a fairly decent salary in line with current market rates, but they want me to start late spring/early summer. The other (Job 2) isn’t as good - they’re offering less than market rate for the position and are unwilling to budge at all despite me showing them data that their rate is significantly below market averages. However, if I were to accept, they’ll let me start right away.Both jobs pay considerably more than my current job. So, in terms of pay, my current job pays the least, Job 2 pays considerably more, and job 1 pays slightly more than job 2.Would I be the asshole if I quit my current job, accept job 2 with the intention to only work there for 3 or 4 months (due to the much higher pay), then quit that job to go work at Job 1 for even more pay? I see companies taking advantage/exploiting employees all the time for purely business reasons (all the recent mass layoffs despite record profits are a good example) and I was wondering if I could do the same as well? Of course I were to do this, I would never list Job 2 on my resume ever when applying to future jobs since I would’ve worked there for only a few months.Thoughts? WIBTA?",WIBTA for accepting a job that I know I will quit in 3 months?,NTA
10z44qf,"For context, my partner and I live an hour apart so we don’t get to see each other often. Today I asked my partner to do something special for me for Valentines. I said I don’t want anything specific I just want him to do something nice for me and he suggested a picnic. Thing is, I have a concert the night of Valentines day and asked him if we can do the picnic another day, maybe even the day before or after. He said no because he has school and was only going to skip school if we went on Valentines Day. I then suggested we can hangout before the show since he seemed so adamant about having our plans the day of. He told me that I would rather go to a show than spend Valentines Day with him and was upset because I recently brought up about how we don’t get to spend much time together since he’s so busy with school and work.",AITA for asking my partner to adjust our Valentines day plans?,YTA
10z1n60,"So my friend and I were at a tennis court at a small park playing when he stops and tells me he has to go for a whizz. I'm used to this since he has a small bladder and in the past at other courts that were not in the middle of a park he would just go in the bushes to the side which wasn't a big deal. However at this location there were 25-30 little elementary students around 100-150 ft away from the court in the playground running around with one adult chaperone. Instead of going to the porta potty around 30 ft away from the court, he feels that it's too much work to walk all the way around the court fences and decides to turn around and just prepares to start peeing into the little shrubs along the fence. As soon as I see this I stop him and ask him WTF. Now these shrubs are fairly tall, but they are thin and have gaps in between and honestly look more like bushy trees. While it wouldn't be easy to spot, it's certainly a possibility that one of the kids or the adult could see an obscured man and a stream of urine splashing into the shrubs. I tell him why the hell would he take such a dumb unnecessary risk and that he could've easily gotten us into trouble such as being fined or even arrested if the kids told their chaperone what they saw. He retorts that it's not a big deal at all and that the chance of anything happening is miniscule and I completely overreacted by getting so worked up over it.So did I overreact regarding the risk of this situation and AITA?",AITA for getting angry at my friend for trying to take a piss in public,NTA
10z3xe6,"So I’ve made friends with the new kid recently and she’s really kind. Her English isn’t really good since she recently only moved to the UK but she’s one of the funniest people I know. I’ve also recently joined a new friendgroup willingly after they’d asked me to since I didnt have a set group of people to hang with due to my past. My new friend asked to join our group too and we said yeah of course! We help her with her English, she tells us things about her life, it’s really nice to finally feel included and liked in a group for once too, for me. Her name begins with A so that’s what i’ll refer to her as.Another girl, however, started hanging with us too without even asking if we were okay with it. This girl has a past of being manipulative, spreading untrue rumours, starting drama, and a lot of other things. I lashed out on her today and now her friend is hassling me so I wanted to know if I was in the wrong. Her name starts with K so that’s what i’ll refer to her as if needed. So this girl has been constantly harassing my new friend. She’s been making fun of her accent, mocking her, talking over her, telling people to avoid her and how she’s “such a bad person”, and a lot of other things. You see, ‘A’ struggles to see the bad in people and therefore things ‘K’ is just joking when in reality it seems like borderline harassment, maybe even bullying. It’s very noticeable though too, I’ve just been through a lot of drama with an old friend so I couldn’t be bothered with her intruding our group for no reason and just to harass the new girl.Anyways, today at lunch two of my friends stayed behind to talk to a teacher about how uncomfortable ‘K’ makes them and how they feel bad for ‘A’ because of the constant harassment and such. ‘K’ came to sit with the rest of us and started harassing my new friend after s few minutes had passed. ‘A’ has a tendency of getting lost since she’s still new to our school and basically our country. ‘K’ began ridiculing her and embarassing her when she wasn’t there since ‘A’ had either gotten lost or was washing her hands. (I was going to look for her but we have to stay in a certain area at lunchtime). When everyone was back, ‘K’ kept daring ‘A’ got dk the most wild things or to flirt with boys that she’d known would get annoyed, just to embarrass and control her.I pulled her to the side at the end of lunchtime and told her to stop bullying ‘A’. I also said a few things I regret but she really annoyed me how exploitive she was being and using the new kid as a way to get boys to like her. I also told ‘K’ that nobody likes her and that she makes our whole friendship group uncomfortable. We got split up by a teacher and she stormed off and didn’t talk to me for the rest of the day. Her friend messaged me telling me that we kicked her out the group for no reason and how we’re all bad people etc etc. ‘A’ however thanked me and finally realised how much of a bad person ‘K’ is. So, AITA or did I do the right thing??Edit: sorry for all the spelling mistakes and such, I’m on mobile and typing quite fast!",AITA for lashing out on a girl in my school,NTA
10z3hfr,"Me(30F) and my husband(30M) live on one continent and the rest of our main group of friends live on another continent:\- Jane(30F) and Tom(32M) in country A\- Amy(28F) and Jack(31M) in country B ​Me and my husband went to visit them. We agreed that we would go to Country A first, meet with Jane and Tom and the four of us would travel to country B and stay from Thursday night to Sunday afternoon in Amy and Jack's house.​We got to Country A on Wednesday night and had the greatest time with Jane and Tom. On Thursday all four of us got on a plane and went to Country B. When we got to Amy's house she started fighting with Jack about minor things, like him getting the wrong vegetable from the supermarket. After a while, she calmed down and we had dinner and went to sleep.​On Friday, Amy went to work, Jack showed us around we and met Amy later at their house and they started fighting again for stupid reasons. After dinner, Amy had some wine and calmed down, and we all played board games for a while.​On Saturday all six of us took a train to another city and on the train ride Amy mentioned that another couple of friends would join us the next day. I told Amy I didn't want another couple of friends to join us, since they were their (Amy and Jack's) friends and not ours, and we'd have to waste precious time getting to know them/talking to them. I also mentioned me and my husband spent a lot of hours getting to the continent and we did this because we wanted to be with our friends, not meet new people, and my social battery was not the biggest so talking to people outside our group would make me tired. ​After I said that Amy freaked out and said that what I said made no sense since they would only spend a few hours with us (among other things). She also said that us six were already spending the whole Saturday together. After that Amy started giving me and Jane the silent treatment and would only speak to be sarcastic or rude. This lasted the whole day, so after we got to Amy's home I tried to work things out with her.​I acknowledged that what I said might have made her feel frustrated and I apologized. She said she was just trying to do something nice for everyone and called me immature. After this Jane joined us and asked Amy why she was being rude to her too (since Jane hadn't even said anything). Amy said she was not being rude and this was just the way she was. Then we asked if we should go to a hotel and she said that she just wanted us to leave her alone for the night and pretend this never happened the next day.​The next day the other couple joined us and we spent the day together. We did our best to pretend nothing happened and Amy seemed normal, but she became distant as soon as they left. After that me, my hubby, Jane, and Tom flew back to country A.​This happened a few days ago and Amy hasn't talked to me since or acknowledged any messages in our group chat.",AITA for telling a friend I didn't want to spend time with her friends?,NTA
10z534d,"Am I the asshole when I didn’t give my sister $200 to borrow? For context I’m an high schooler and I don’t have a lot of money, but I have enough to give $200. She asked to borrow $200 and I asked her what she needed it for and she didn’t respond well saying “did I need a contract.” She said I was horrible and didn’t want to be sisters anymore and she forced me to delete my number from her phone. She brought up that she paid for an apple mac for me and I said I could give it back. I didn’t even want the mac to begin with. She said brought up how mad she was and that we were strangers now. I would have given the money if at least know what’s it for. I would tell someone that if I asked for that much money. I told it was a lot of money to borrow and said it was so little money. Also the reason I’m so hesitant is because of past history with her and money. She had two or more times took money from me without permission and I would bring it up to her and she would say I was hurtful and punished me. She later said she would pay it back to me and she did but hesitantly and didn’t give me the full amount. So I’m just untrustful in things that come out of her mouth. But in general am I the asshole?",AITA for not giving $200 to my sister even though she said she would give it back later?,NTA
10z52cf,"I 25f have a 14 month old daughter. My husband and I work during the day so she goes to daycare. She has two teachers through out the day. One comes in early and leaves at 4, the other is there from 4-630(pick up)My daughter recently got a new 4-6 teacher. She’s rather young, pretty sure she’s a teenager. My daughter has specific diapers because she is allergic to the rest. She becomes inflamed and develops rashes and it’s just very uncomfortable for her. I always make sure she has some stocked there. Two days ago after I brought her home I noticed my daughter was in different diapers, with a rash already starting. The net day I went to the daycare and complained the teacher apologized. I gave her the ointment my daughter needed, and left.It happened again, and it didn’t look like my daughter was given any ointment. She’s in the same wrong diapers. Her rash is worse. Today I went to the school furious. I yelled at the daycare worker and said she needed to learn how to do her job and now my daughters rash is worse because of her. She got really upset and asked me not to yell and said it was an accident and she didn’t know where the rest of my daughters diapers were put up, the morning teacher has them put up. I told her that’s when you ask, it’s not fair my daughter is irritated and uncomfortable because she won’t ask. She kept apologizing and even started to tear up.My husband says I overreacted and we should just look into new daycares because they shouldn’t have hired someone so young to be a teacher. He says tomorrow I should buy her a gift card or a candy bar or something and go in and apologize. Now that I think about it I do feel badly about yelling at a young girl.",AITA for yelling at a daycare worker?,YTA
10z4xux,"I live in an area where there is a daycare a few blocks away. Every morning myself and others have to pass by the backstreet of this daycare to go to work. Here is the kicker, all of the moms and dads are using the backstreet to park their cars and taking their kids to daycare (because it’s faster and more convenient)  instead of going the “long way” and going inside the daycare complex to safely drop their kids off. This is incredibly dangerous, the street is only a one way coming in and out and not only does it create a traffic jam it’s also incredibly unsafe. Every single time I have to do pass by in the morning I am getting dirty looks from these parents for not stopping for their little kids. I am afraid that these little kids are going to one day run in the road and get run over! So, WIBTA and a Karen if I call the daycare to express my grievances or should I just suck it up and continue my merry way?",WIBTA for snitching on the moms at daycare?,NTA
10z4wup,"AITA for calling out my mom? She and I had a massive argument about a few things. My mother (61f) and I (32m) have been butting heads for years.She is racist towards most races aside from hers and HATES my race. My father was (rip dad) Indian. And Sri Lankan. I remember asking my mom when I was a kid what race he was cause he didn't look like any of the other dads on the street we lived on. She shrugged and sneered, ""I don't know, dark white?""I was also diagnosed bipolar type 1, and take medication to control it, and it's under control very well. Now on to what made me so upset. My fathers history has always been a mystery, 2 men could've been his father, both had passed away though. So a couple years ago, I decided to take a DNA test (through 23&me) and find out who his father was based off my relatives and their last name. and found out my dad was Indian (which makes so much sense) and her side was 100% European. She said her side had indigenous American that runs heavily on her side. NOPE. NOT EVEN A DROP.When she found out I was Indian on dad's side she spent months randomly bringing up how ""disgusting"" Indian people are."" I was so frustrated and said ""you mated with one!"" She snarled ""I only f'kd his American side."" So I rolled my eyes so hard. She said because I recently found out that I'm asian and white, I don't have the right to call myself an Asian American. Even though I legitimately am. And have been exploring that side of Me through research and history, and it's all so interesting! My first cousin is a bollywood actress, and she's nearly identical to my sister. And she's so nice, also has been researching our lineage and shares information about our family with me. When I told her she had ZERO indigenous American on her side she freaked out on me and said I was just saying that to upset her. DAILY she tells me how much she HATES people with bipolar, knowing damn well, I have bipolar. She tells me how horrible bipolar people are. I called her out on her being racist, rude, hateful, and pitiful. And I told her she was just mad that she didn't have indigenous American in her DNA because she used that to make herself seem more interesting (and told everyone she was from a certain tribe her whole life.)Suddenly she started guilting me for upsetting her in her senior years and should have just let her be because she's ""set in her ways"" and trying to change her is basically saying I don't love her the way she is. Tl:DrMy mother is racist against my fathers/my race, and tells me about it constantly, and daily reminds me that she hates people with bipolar and I have bipolar and she knows this. But when I called her out for her being racist and rude, she said I don't love her the way she is because i told her I won't tolerate her comments anymore.AITA for shattering her dreams of being indigenous and calling her racist? And AITA for telling her she needs to change or I won't be in her life?",AITA FOR CALLING OUT MY MOTHER FOR HER MESSED UP COMMENTS AND WAYS OF THINKING?,NTA
10z4kf0,"For background: I’m renting a mobile home that was manufactured in the late 70’s and has had almost no updates done. most everything is original and honestly ran down looking. But with rent being so high where we live it’s all we could afford and still pay 1300 + utilities each month. The cabinets in the kitchen are original to the home and are made of pressboard with a printed wood grain on them. (Honestly they need to be replaced) The previous tenants sprayed something on them which took off the finish in spots that look like some odd water spots and streaks….. they looked dirty no mater how many times I washed them! So I messaged my landlord and asked if I could paint (didn’t specifically say the cabinets) they agreed as long as I keep it neutral colors, so it would be easily rented out again. Well I painted the lower  cabinets a light gray and the uppers white. Honestly the cabinets  that once looked dated dirty and gross now look brand new and almost modern!!!! I honestly don’t feel as though my landlord could possibly be upset cus if I were to move out tomorrow now it could easily be rented out for 1500 per month with just painting them…. However I feel like a bit of an asshole for being intentionally misleading I’m sure they never thought in 100 years I was talking bout painting the cabinet…",AITA for misleading my landlord,YTA
10z4dcf,"So I, 17F, recently made the decision to switch to a meat restricted type diet for ethical reasons. The thought came to me while being hungover and unable to stomach bacon. IMO meat doesn't taste good. It's the seasonings, sauce, fat, and oil that makes it taste good. And then, after watching the Dominion documentary on YouTube and crying myself to sleep I decided I was mostly done with exceptions. The sole reason of me switching but allowing myself fish, eggs, and game is because I do not want to contribute to an abusive and corrupted meat farming industry. My stepdad hunts game and enjoys fishing, so I will eat that because I know those animals have had long and healthy lives in nature, free, and die quickly. My mom buys free range eggs from her friends farm, they are truly free range, and I would eat her chicken because I've seen how they butcher them, but we didn't get any chickens this year. They are not suffering constant abuse and painful deaths in overcrowded animal farming warehouses, tolerating abuse from workers, often unsuccessful butchering techniques, etc. Overall though, I really hate the idea of needing to kill other beings in order to sustain our own lives.I got home yesterday from work, started talking to my mom, asked her what was for dinner, she told me chicken and alfredo. I shot her a look. My sister laughed in my face but I ignored it. I looked in the kitchen, it was separated, fine. I went upstairs to clean my room, came down for dinner, a chicken thigh was sitting on my plate. I took it and dropped it right back with the full rotisserie chicken sitting in the middle of the table and said, ""I'm not eating this.""My mom clapped back with, ""yes. You are."" She put it back on my plate and I put it right back, put a serving of pasta on my plate and sat down. She said fine, and took the entire pot of pasta off the table and told me I wasn't eating anything else for the rest of the night.I never eat breakfast or pack lunch to work so the first time I'm eating is often dinner, and then I'll snack on like fruit, cashews, almonds or pistachios in the evening and then have a cup of tea before bed. She started arguing with me about how I'm just going to end up binge eating and me restricting meat is more harmful and less sustainable to the environment and I should just suck it up, and I don't understand how expensive produce is so I can't be eating it all to make up for not having meat.. (before this she was throwing out fruits and veggies bc me and my sister weren't eating them fast enough). She also said she would not support an unhealthy lifestyle with me filling up with just carbs, (when that's the only option I had for last night) so I quickly finished my pasta and went up to my room for the rest of the night.Later my sister came up and told me my mom was crying over it, so now I'm asking myself, AITA?",AITA for refusing to eat the dinner my mom cooked last night after telling her I'm switching to a different diet?,NTA
10z48ww,"I am a freshman in college, and I live in a triple room with two other guys we’ll call Joe and Sam. They’re both freshmen; only a bus ride away from their homes; able-bodied/minded; from decently affluent families. Me, on the other hand, am across the country from everyone I know (PA->WA); disabled physically (MS); autistic also w/ terrible PTSD and anxiety; from a somewhat middle-class family. Also two specific things I warned them of b4 moving in: I will be in a LDR and away from friends and family so I’ll be making calls occasionally in the room, and I play DND every Sunday at what will now be 11am. They both agreed.For the most part Joe has been fine, but Sam on the other hand is stubborn and impossible to compromise with. A brief list of some of the rules he’s made:\-not a single phone call can be made in the room unless it’ll be 5 minutes or less (later he changed this to “like 2 minutes or less”).\-I cant make breakfast until 11am because he doesn’t want woken up by the beeps our instant pot makes when you turn it on.\-if anyone is asleep, no sound should be made in the room at all\-I can’t play DND in the room anymore, ever.Once he made me hang up a phone call that I was on before he got in the room because I was too sick w/ the flu to leave. Another time he \*yelled\* at me to leave the room cuz I woke him up at 12pm playing DND even tho he had been warned abt it.I’ve tried to compromise several times, he will not. His ‘compromise’ for his phone call rule was to go check every lounge on our floor and if one of them isn’t empty you’re allowed to come back to the room to take the call. He’ll often play the depression card but if I play the anxiety, autism, MS, etc. card he does not care. He constantly breaks his own rules, leaves the bathroom sink a mess of soap and water, is loud as fuck in the morning, turns on lights while we’re sleeping that have woken me up before, etc. Not to mention, if you can get him to compromise, he’s just a child about it when you do the compromised-on thing (stomping around the room, purposely sighing loudly, etc.). Once I said “I think there’s a certain time of day where it becomes unreasonable to expect people to be quiet because you want to sleep in” and he just said “no, if anyone is sleeping it’s inconsiderate to be doing stuff in the room that might wake them up”.Every time I try and voice my concerns they feel ignored, and if it’s due to like certain issues I have due to my autism or physical disability he almost never seems to care or acts so passive aggressive about it I’m too afraid to ask. Every week there’s some new issue and he can’t compromise or do anything so I’ve asked my RA for a room switch where I will be taking all the furniture I paid for (fridge, instant pot, shelves, etc.) because he’s rich enough to afford new ones and I am not. AITA?EDIT: Joe is also moving out and taking the printer and TV with him for context on what will be left in the room afterward.",AITA for asking my RA to switch rooms?,NTA
10z418h,"my(24F) fiancée(24F) has really only seen the planning process of one wedding, that being her older sister's, almost a decade ago. She was a bridesmaid in that wedding, and from what she tells me, everything about that day was perfect.Now, l'Il admit, I’m not particular about anything when it comes to wedding stuff, because I originally wanted to elope and then a nice dinner with friends. I have homophobic family, so I didn’t ever picture having a ceremony. When we got engaged, my fiancee made it clear that she wanted a formal ceremony that her family would attend. We agreed on us both being equally involved with the wedding planning, as to keep ether of us from feeling steamrolled or overwhelmed by he responsibilities. My fiancée INSISTED that we plan it ourselves, and then hire a coordinator to confirm everything week-of. So we made a moodboard, got wedding magazines and a wedding planning book, weddingwire, the whole shebang. The more we talked about it, the more she pushed everything her sister had at her wedding.""Oh we should pick x bridal place, that's where my sister got her bouquet” “We should have these colors, they looked really nice at my sisters wedding” “We should get our dresses from x, thats where my sister got hers” I don't doubt that these vendors would work out. It's not that I don't trust SIL. I just feel extremely uncomfortable/superstitious about redo a wedding that didn’t work out.Might be TA because, when trying to see it from my fiancée's perspective, I went from ""I dont care what we wear or do I just wanna marry you"" to suddenly having opinions on every aspect of the wedding. I just feel weird about potentially redoing her sister's wedding, and because SIL will also be MOH, I don't want to potentially traumatize her by making her walk down the same aisle that trapped her in hell for a while. I really don't want to be a bridezilla, but I want our wedding to be Ours, and not SIL's. AITA?",AITA for not wanting to redo my SIL’s wedding?,NTA
10z3rpm,"I'm 18, but still in high school. Overall I think my parents are okay, I'm kind of a problem child and there's some major issues and resentments but I know they do their best given that my mom was raised under even stricter conditions. Since I might show this to my parents, I'll try my best to show my mom's point of view, but my point of view will be biased.**My mom's point of view:**\- I owe them for their time and financial sacrifice (they have always splurged on summer math camps, tutors, high school classes, and college tuition. What she wants me to pay back right now is the close to 1000 dollars my dad sent me for high school classes)\- If I have the time and money to spend on ""useless junk"", I can afford to pay them back. She's really pushing for me to pay her back since yesterday she saw I bought more clothes.\- It teaches me how to budget, she thinks I have expensive tastes (she thinks I don't understand how hard money is to earn, and at restaurants she always orders for me so I don't choose the most expensive thing on the menu). She's afraid I'll waste all my savings on material objects when I'm in college**My point of view:**\- I only make around 200 dollars, her asking for 100, or even 50 dollars a month isn't teaching me how to budget, it's just theft\- I don't spend as much money on outings with friends as they think, since she only allows me to go out once a month if I'm lucky\- My mom wants me to save for textbooks and other necessities not covered in the general college bill, which I am doing, I usually make sure there's at least 300-500 left in my account (which I know is not enough, but once I'm out of high school I'll be able to find a better part time job)\- Despite being pretty well-off (with an expensive house), literally *none* of my clothes were bought (they're almost all hand-me-downs from a family friend), I don't like any of my clothes and my mom refuses to let me have a say in my own style/wardrobe, so I thought that she'd at least be ok with me buying clothes with my own money, but I guess not. She makes me feel guilty anytime I wear the clothes I buy, so I just store them in my closet waiting for college.\- I've always planned on paying them back for college tuition, and their hard work is the entire reason I earned a scholarship in the first place. So I offered to add these \~1000 dollars to the amount I owe them *after* I graduate college.","AITA for not wanting to pay back the money my parents let me ""borrow""?",NTA
10z3euy,"My father had custody of me for about three years in high-school since my mom gave hers up for some complicated reasons I don't want to get into. Apart from that I have rarely heard from him. Since I moved out for college he's mostly been NC with me, hasn't helped me out at all. Last year when I graduated with my bachelor's I asked if we could do something other than me walking (mostly because I didn't have the money to). He said okay and then said he couldn't afford to do anything for several weeks after my graduation date. When he could finally afford it he canceled on me to drink and play DnD with his friends. Finally we rescheduled for eating at a place my brother wanted to go to, we only saw each other for like 20 mins before he said he was sick and needed to go home and couldn't make it to the movie we had planned afterwords. He said all this was because he's upset that he didn't get to see me walk which was supposedly a big deal to him. I had to put in an application for my masters graduation and it asked it I was planning on walking. I talked to my dad about it even though I can pay for my gown and everything now I didn't really want to do it and I have other activities I would find more fun. I said I would really like to go camping since I'm big into the outdoors. His reply was that ""spending a lot of time together doesn't seem like a great idea right now"" because I'm not working on ""my issues"". I actually did go go to a psychologist since he's been really pushy about me seeing one and they said I had ASD. I sent the diagnosis to him so that he could see that I was trying and he basically went from saying it was fake and an excuse to saying that people with autism are too emotionally volatile and have a hard time with relationships.  I gave him other things that I like - live shows, hiking, art, fishing, etc. But the only two choices he said I had if I didn't walk were going out to eat or going to the mall. I said I'm on a diet and I don't really like the mall but I would enjoy going thrift shopping instead and he said he was ending the conversation at that point. I don't know if I'm being overly entitled here. I worked really hard for this - currently I have a 4.0 and I'm a software developer full time so like 80 hours of work a week I've been doing for this. It felt like he just wanted photos to post on social media of his kid walking with a masters degree and didn't actually care about me as a person or my work.",AITA for asking my (mostly absent) father to do something I enjoy for graduation instead of walking/what he wants?,NTA
10z2nu8,"I don't think I'm the asshole, but the owner and one of my employees seem to think so, so I figured I would ask! I am also autistic, so maybe the context just doesn't make sense to me. So for some context before we begin, I, (23 NB) am an assistant manager at a hotel. I have an employee who has been giving me some trouble since November/December. (30's M). One of the major problems that he goes to the owner about (27 M) is that I won't divulge details about myself and that I ""shut him out"". Some examples include:* I texted him to see if he could work NYE or NYD since I had worked 2 holidays last year (Halloween and thanksgiving, one of which I covered for this employee), and he had only worked one. I was also going to be working a double on NYE, so I figured he could take one of the two shifts. He copped a bit of an attitude with me for even asking, but agreed to take one of my NYE shifts.    * What I didn't tell him was that my family had to move their Christmas celebration to NYE because some family members felt under the weather on Christmas. I didn't tell him because i honestly didn't believe it was relevant. I was going to have to work both days anyway, so I wasn't even planning on going. The owner, unbeknownst to me, decided to take one of my NYE shifts so that I could spend some time with my family. (I had mentioned the celebration to my comanager, who then mentioned it to the owner because she felt bad that not only was I missing time with my family, I was also going to be working a double) I did not text this coworker back to tell him any of this, but he was upset because he ""would have been more flexible had he known."" * I brought my boyfriend to the work Christmas party. My comanager already knew of and had met my boyfriend, as well as the owner. This employee complained because I didn't tell him I even had a boyfriend, much less one I had been living with for three years.   * he is married with children, for context. * We were looking to hire another employee to work the front desk. I made a post on Facebook, and an acquaintance that I had known for around 10 years (a friend of a friend) reached out to me to apply for the position. We ended up hiring her. I did not tell the employee in question that the new hire was someone I knew. No one else applied for the position, otherwise, I would have considered them as well. Again, this person was a friend of a friend, someone I had gone to school with for 10 years but was never really friends with, so I didn't even consider it relevant information. The only way this employee found out was the owner had asked the new hire where she had heard about the position. Long post, I apologize. I don't really see the issue with not divulging information about myself in this way, but this employee and the owner think it is an issue. AITA?",AITA for not sharing information about myself at work?,NTA
10z275i,"My timing offended her as she had just asked me to wash something of mine so that she could use it later (dishes usually all get washed after dinner).  While I agreed to wash the item she requested, I thought it was a good time to once again ask her to stop leaving her dishes in the sink and to put them in the dishwasher.  (I find it difficult to cook when there are multiple dishes piled up in the sink.)Anyway, she got very upset with me, saying it was a tit for tat which wasn’t my intention at all, though to be honest I have been avoiding asking her because she deals with mental illness and I dread setting her off.  It’s a fine line, being supported of her moods and yet asking for what I think are adult duties, not leaving your messes for other people.I will accept my judgement, I just need a reality check here.  Am I the asshole for asking for a similar accommodation at the same time as another person?  Should I have voiced my concerns at another time?",AITA for asking my adult daughter to put her plates in the dishwasher?,NTA
10z24va,"backstory, I have a lifelong friend (M14) call him A, A is one of my friends that I’ve known for the longest and we are really close, we met through my brother who is basically my best friend (M14) and we all hang out ever since we first met. Now I’m a girl 13F and so occasionally they like to make sexist jokes about me doing the dishes and me making them a sandwich.This didn’t bother me until we went out to play basketball (I love sports especially football and basketball) and they kept on calling me dishwasher and sandwich maker, just takin the piss, until I could deal with it and told them to shut up and that it wasn’t funny, every single time I done that they would all just laugh and say “it’s so funny” They also started saying that if i didn’t like it i could leave and that they make these jokes all the time so it shouldn’t matter. The thing is the jokes are so wrong and cruel to some extent, i even saw my brother put on a snap “well guess who can’t walk alone at night” after a girl corrected him. Fast Forward we get home and I go to my mum, we’re just talking and then asks how the day went and then I broke down and told her as they kept on making these jokes after, saying i was an asshole for snitching instead of talking about it to someone else or telling them which i did but they said “i thought it was a joke”AITA?",AITA for getting mad at my friends for making sexist remarks,NTA
10z1t5u,"**To Preface a little bit:** We moved out back in November 2020, a rental with 2 roommates + my GF&I. We lived there for half of 2021, as they raised our rent from $1900 to $2300. Long story, but ultimately we couldn't justify that rent increase and moved in with my GF's parents. **This was a mistake.**Since moving here, it's been nothing but hell. Constant fights between the parents, threats of divorce, almost hoarder like in terms of mess (dirty dishes in the sink, shit/piss stains on the toilet, cat litter always full, their dogs finding anything they can chew and half eaten towels, socks all being left on the floor/couch, the house reeks of cat piss and unwashed dogs... I can go on forever about this). GF's parents and brother all contribute to this mess. I've tried my very best (thanks to my momma for teaching me good habits) to clean up the mess and make it somewhat livable for us - it's a never ending battle and I don't think I'm on the winning side.**Fast forward to yesterday (Feb 09, 2023):**My in-laws recently asked me to house-sit and take care of the animals (2 dogs, 4 cats) while they travel to a warm destination next month. They dropped this on my lap pretty much last minute, because they have this idea that they should go down as a family before my GF's sister pops out her kid (due date is in the summer). Even though the original plan was for all of us, myself included, would go down, but this surprise pregnancy changed those plans.I, WFH 9 - 5 during the week, have two dogs of my own to take care of. So I politely declined as I believe this would be too much to handle by myself. Which, I don't think I'm being unreasonable here. We pay more than our fair share of rent, $650 a month split between GF and I ($325 each), well above the needed money for utilities & internet.. Heck we don't even have a kitchen in our living area (basement), nor a bathroom.They said to me it wouldn't be much work, all you have to do is feed the dogs once a day, let them out once or twice and put them in the crates for the times I cannot watch them (this is the norm for them, even though it shouldn't be). Cats can usually take care of themselves, minus the litter and filling their food.After still telling them it would be too much and it's not fair to those dogs, they said they would get my GF's grandparents to travel 2.5 hours each way to watch them... They are 80+ years old and these are not small dogs. They refuse to kennel the dogs, I believe this is too costly for them (bad spending habits or they think it's not worth it, and would rather someone do it for free/less), and they say ""the kennel would do the same, keep them locked up""...I don't think this is fair to myself, those poor dogs, or my GF's Grandparents. Even with them also saying they would let me keep rent for March and bring me back a bottle of booze (I rarely drink....)**AITA for saying no?**",AITA for denying my in-laws ask of house sitting while the whole family vacations,INFO
10z1k5f,"My (25f) twin sister (25f) and I live near eachother in our city. Our family always has a Superbowl get together each year at our parents. This year, my sister was able to get free tickets to our city's NBA team and it landed on Superbowl. She can make both as the basketball game is earlier, but it would be a bit hectic. She suggested that I ask my roommate (our close mutual friend, I will call her RM) to borrow her car to get to our parents on my own, they would take the train to our parents from the basketball game since it's a pretty direct route and then I could drive all of us back to the city after the Superbowl. I felt awkward. I didn't understand why I would ask RM for her car when my sister and her boyfriend own one (it is in his name, she is insured on it and they both use it decently regularly)... If all of us are needing to use a car.. and people in our group own a car... Why wouldn't I drive that one to our parents? Using RMs car feels like it would be taking advantage of her. She is incredibly generous and has told me to borrow her car if I need it, and I've used it to get to work before... but I also don't **need** a car to get to my parents, it would just be easier to get home after the Superbowl since the trains aren't running as frequently on Sunday night. I told my sister I thought it made more sense to ask to use their car since my roommate isn't coming to Superbowl and may want her car that day. My sister said that since ive driven RMs car before, it would be easier as I might not be used to theirs. I told her that I'm a pretty confident driver and in the past year have driven two rentals (different makes and models), my dad's, my mom's, and even my boyfriend's car. I also said I would ask her boyfriend myself as well, as the car is in his name. My sister freaked out at me and told me that ""you simply don't want to ask RM, and framed my suggestion as nonsensical"".  To me, it doesn't make sense. Why are you telling me to ask my roommate for her car to drive all three of us home from our parents when you and your boyfriend **have a car**? RM and her car shouldn't really even be part of this conversation in my opinion. I told my sister that her plan didn't make sense to me, and that it felt odd and she has accused me of ""not accepting her reasoning"". She said she's been having a hard time at work so I feel bad for the unecessary stress I guess? But I just don't understand why asking to borrow their car instead was such a trigger. I don't have to borrow their car.. but why would I ask RM for hers? I don't **need** to use the car to get to my parents. She asked me to do this. Me driving to my parents was her idea, not mine. AITA?",AITA for not wanting to drive my roommates car?,NTA
10z1e73,"I will be the first to admit I have it good: a  good paying job out of school, I can occasionally work from home, and I don’t have to pay any rent because my grandma lets me stay here for free. I can’t even lie that I probably take it for granted a bit.But good lord, it’s like every time my grandmother speaks to me it’s to ask me to fix something or go grab something for her. I’ll be going to grocery story like 3-4 times some weeks because she forgot something on her list the first time.But you know what? I may mumble and grumble, but I will always do it. Eventually. But if it’s not exactly when she wants it done, she gets really nasty with me. Am I really an ungrateful brat if I just want to chill after work and I push off her 30th chore to tomorrow or the weekend when it’s more convenient? Some days I am really just not feeling it man. Is that really such a deplorable thing? Perhaps freedom is truly the price that apartment rent is worth lol",AITA for not running errands for my grandma as soon as she wants them done?,NTA
10z16lu,"Before school I was getting ready but my sister came to ask me for a hoodie since she wanted one even though she has a few sweatshirts. I gave her this grey one out of my closet and said that it was good enough and I drove her to school with me. But in the middle of the day my phone is getting blown up by my sister who is telling me to meet up with her so I can give her the hoodie im wearing because the one I gave her earlier was “dogshit”. So I said I couldn’t do it as I was busy with something (which I was) and she got mad and texted me to fuck off because she was late for class waiting for me. I gave her more than a minutes notice and I was busy with school, so AITA and should I have given it to her? I guess I could have made the time but idk. Also I knows its pretty minor but stuff like this happens all the time with other objects and such.",AITA for not giving my sister my hoodie,NTA
10z5ieg,"Background: my family has always been well-off. And by that, I mean like we would take family vacations two to three times per year. It's still like that now, but I've noticed a difference in how my family acts now that my (F27) wife (F24) and I are married. About three weeks ago, my dad booked a trip to Italy. Everyone was excited, the family gc was lit up for days following the announcement. I called my dad and talked to him for a while and eventually I thanked him for including my wife who'd always felt left out. There was a slight pause and he told me that he booked the rest of the available seats on that particular flight and there was only enough for him, my mother, grandparents, my sister + her husband, and me. He booked it without even taking my wife into consideration. Now I know what a lot of people would think that it was just a mistake but I don't think so given the fact that my wife has been excluded in other ways before and if it were a mistake, he'd do everything he could to change it before even announcing the vacation.My heart sunk. I looked at my wife who could tell something was off and I told my dad to just give my seat to someone else because if she wasn't included, I wasn't going. In the past, I was able to include my wife myself but I was tired of us being singled out. They never did that to my sister and her husband, they've always included them as a couple. But when it comes to my wife and I, we've always had to figure our own way into the mix as if we weren't to be taken seriously. I'm not doing that now and I drew the hard line in the sand this time. This man had the audacity to say that her and I could book our own flight and just, you know, *meet them there*. I simply said ""absolutely not"" then hung up.Needless to say, my wife was in tears. She was upset, but she was glad that I was sticking by her. A couple of days went by and we decided to go on our own vacation to a much humbler location (large rental cabin) with her family, who are all downright amazing. Well...my family found out and they have not stopped blowing up my phone. My mom called me one night during all this and said that I was being unreasonable and that there's no way I couldn't just book a separate flight and instead book an entirely different vacation with her family. I explained to her that that wasn't the point, that the point was that they have excluded my wife from every family-related event ever since we got married which always put me in the position to fix it. My mom basically called me crazy and that I was overthinking a simple mistake on my dad's part.  For some reason, I'm starting to think that maybe I am overthinking it and that I should just talk with my dad to see if excluding my wife was intentional (which was another point my mom brought up). AITA?",AITA for going on a vacation with my wife's family instead of my own?,NTA
10z5fky,"I (21F) and my boyfriend (26M) were having a conversation about marriage and he said it's easy for women coz all they do after getting married is enjoy and you might say women give birth which is painful but technology has made everything easy you get a c-section done and you're good to go, painless delivery. We've been dating for a year now and it's really bothering me that I find him so misogynist. I couldn't take it when he said pregnancy and giving birth is easy i screamed at him out of frustration, cried and left abruptly. I couldn't take it because a month ago I had to terminate our baby and it was painful and i couldn't imagine how painful giving birth would be, him belittling it made me lose my shit.",AITA for screaming at my boyfriend because he said all women do is enjoy,NTA
10z5e5o,"I have plans to see a lady tonight. This convo follows after I send her a pic of me in the shower as I was looking forward to seeing her.Her: Will you shower with me later?Me: Again?.. you can shower here at my place or at home before I pick you up if you’d like?Her: angry face. Fine nevermind Me: sorry, it’s a funny thing to ask after I send a pic of me currently in the shower. But if it’ll ruin the night I will shower with youHer: well I only mentioned it so we can shower together but it sounds like a crime to youMe: no not a crime, we can shower no problem.Her: 💔 Me: what’s wrong?Silence….",AITA? Need another perspective.,NTA
10z5cah,"I (15f) have a boyfriend (14M) who has a female friend (14F) that has been getting very close to him for some time. I want to ask my boyfriend to drop this friend for the following reasons:- She flirtatiously touches his arm when joking with him- They both did VERY inappropriate head motions to each other- One close friend I have confided in said that its obvious she likes him without me pointing it out- She posted pictures of them together more than once where their shoulders were touching, and apparently they sit next to each other and talk to each other very often in school- Before dating me, the exact same thing happened with his ex. For context, this female friend was dating one of his guy friends, and when those two broke up, this girl started getting even closer with my boyfriend. With my boyfriends ex, this exact thing happened and they started dating. I’m afraid he will cheat on me with her at this point- This is probably a bad thing, but I get jealous when they are with each other. My boyfriend claims that she makes him uncomfortable but then also says he doesn’t hate her and that “she hasn’t done anything to make him hate her” despite him not liking when she touches himI will admit that in the past, I had been insecure about his other female friends he’s known his whole life, but he just started knowing this girl and already they are VERY close. I’ve seen this happen before, and I know its ending. AITA for wanting him to drop her?",AITA for making my boyfriend drop a friend?,YTA
10z5adm,"Every Friday night, a group of friends and I get together for movie night. It's always been something I look forward to, except for recently. There's a new person attending (new to me....not to my other friends) that rubs me the wrong way, let's call him Bob.I've been informed Bob has extreme social anxiety issues. When it comes to my interactions with him, he will give me the silent treatment. It's so awkward if my friends leave the room and I'm alone with Bob...he will refuse to look at me. Sometimes I try to start a conversation, but his responses are typically ""one word"" replies.I've asked my friends if Bob hates me, to which my friends acknowledge he does get rude towards me at times....and they have apparently asked Bob, but Bob says it's just his social awkwardness and he has nothing against me.Last week, Bob was acting very strange (I think he said maybe 10 words the entire night). I was asking him about some youtubers he watches....and his response was ""I don't watch those people..."" even though in the past, he's told he has. I was also ordering everyone dinner via GrubHub, and I asked him what he wanted.....he just ignored me. A few minutes later, he shouted out his order to me.Anyway, I told my friend (the host) today that I won't be coming to Friday night movies if Bob attends. I would never tell my friends, ""It's him or ME!"", so I decided the best option would be for me to find a new Friday night activity. My friend (the host of movie nights) is bummed, because we are best friends. He wants me to just ignore Bob's social anxiety issues, but after a few months of trying that, I give up. My friend said he understands, but I feel like an a\*\*hole.So, AITA in this situation? Should I be more sensitive about this person and their problems? I'm upset that I can't attend a movie night we've had on-going for many years because Bob always puts me in a bad mood.",AITA for not attending movie night due to the guest list?,NTA
10z58fe,"I (16,M) am a bit of a picky eater. I just hate pretty much all fruits except oranges. I don't like meat or chicken but I do like vegetables and eggs. Most of the time, my mom makes food which has chicken or meat in it so I decide not to eat. I also don't really feel like having rice or soup sometimes.When that happens, I make myself some eggs. I love eggs, I have like 3-4 with maybe some pickles. It just always works. I basically have eggs for breakfast every day and also sometimes for dinner. For breakfast, I just have 2-3 eggs instead. I should say that I feel  really nauseous in the morning but eggs are the only thing I can stomach early before going to school. Everyone in the house knew about it and my parents just thought it was funny. Somehow though my mom randomly got annoyed after seeing we were out of eggs today, and told me she will not be buying any more eggs anymore and that I have to pay for any I want to eat or just ask her to make anything else I want. She says it's because the price is too high. I told her everything has a price that is too high now, and if she cuts me off eggs I will be skipping breakfast and dinner. She told me when I do that she'll be sure I eat what she makes that day. I got really mad and left and now she made food but I'm skipping and I think I'll go through with this. I don't specifically have any dietary restrictions but I think my mom is being unreasonable since I'm not hurting anyone and I don't have a job to pay for eggs.AITA?",AITA for refusing to eat my mom's food?,YTA
10z55k8," My wife (28f) and I (30m) have been married for 6 years. I’ve always been the breadwinner while she hasn’t worked in 3 years. The company she worked at went bankrupt and then COVID made it hard for her to get a job in her field so she became housewife, then a SAHM since our first kid 1 year ago. She’s a great SAHM and does a lot of the childcare. I’ll feed and play with our kid at night but she does all the care while I’m at work.We have a joint account where everything for the house, cars, etc. gets paid from. She has her own account as well and I have one too that I just use as a savings account. Half my earnings go to the joint account and half to the savings account. I give my wife $100 a week for her personal account for helping around the house and with our kid. But if she needs something that’s shared for the house or gas money that comes from the joint account. We also go shopping weekly for groceries and all that comes from the joint account too. She has access to all the money but I don’t let her spend too much so that’s why she gets an allowance. She usually just uses her personal money for clothes. Last week she bought a new pair of expensive boots.My wife also has credit card debt that I wasn’t involved in but I’m helping to pay off since she obviously doesn’t work right now. This month I got a bonus from work and used it to pay off her debt completely (it was about $10k). I also wanted to buy myself a PS5 and asked my wife if that was okay since I was trying to be polite and make joint decisions with her. She told me “well then do I get to buy something too?” I was really confused because I just paid off her entire debt recently and she bought boots last week from the allowance I gave her. She told me it wasn’t fair if I get to buy something and she doesn’t, but I said I never buy stuff like that. She said I spend money on food all the time so it evens out, but I don’t spend that much, maybe like $5 a day for lunch at work. I ended up telling her to just forget about it, I didn’t need to buy the PS5. But now she’s telling me I’m an asshole because I would rather make both of us miserable then buy her something. But I just didn’t want to spend $1000 instead of $500 when I just paid $10k on her debt so I changed my mind. I can see how she doesn’t see paying off debt as a treat but it was still a LOT of money and she also buys fun things all the time with her allowance while I put my extra money into the savings account. I don’t think she likes that I save more than I let us spend because she likes to buy stuff all the time. Her sister is also a SAHM and her sister’s husband always remarks how he can’t afford all the new clothes she wants to get so I think this is just some kind of spoiled behavior that their parents taught them. So AITA?",AITA for wanting to buy something for myself but not my wife?,NTA
10z51qj,"So me and my best girlfriend are in the same friend-group. she asked me today if i wanted to go out and just walk in circles in the city, like we always do. i said i didn't want to. we do this everyday and this was my first time declining hanging out with her. she didn't get mad.After a few hours another girlfriend from our friend-group calls me and asks if i want to come with them all (we are 2 boys and 3 girls), including my best gf, to a restaurant in another city near our city. i said i first had to ask my parents for permission. i asked, and as i expected, they didn't let me go out, because it was already past 7pm. i told her i would've come but i wasn't allowed to.After another few hours my best gf texted me saying how disappointed she is in me because i said no to her but yes to 'the other', knowing damn well she's part of 'the others', like she expressed. i replied with ""I said no to you because i didn't want to walk in our city like we always do, if someone else asked me to do the same thing today i wold've declined to them too. but going out with all 4 of you to a restaurant in another city? ofc i will accept."" And that's no lie, if someone else had asked me today to do something in our city i would've said no. she's still mad and thinks i declined on her because i don't want to hang out with her / am bored of her. AITA?English is not my first language, i hope it's understandable.",AITA for declining on my best girlfriend but wanting to hang out with our whole friend-group?,NTA
10z50mn,"It has happened three times now that my mother(F49) said I should stop trying to help and that I ""only make things worse"".Let me give a bit more context; my father has recently done a medical procedure and has run my mother absolutely ragged with taking care of him.  She hasn't been getting much sleep and is, in general, more tired than usual. This has led to her lashing out at me, with some less-than-savory comments, however, I am quick to understand and have overlooked many of these times now and in the past.I'd like to add that she does not do it out of malicious intent but out of a lack of attention to her wording, even if she doesn't find her comments offensive and finds me to be overreacting.  This time around, I tried to explain how I felt, only for her to just look at me as though I was overreacting. I left and was later dragged back to the room by my dad who felt we should put this behind us, she started off by complaining that she was the only one who was apologizing recently which my dad denied, claiming he had seen me apologize to her many times before.I sat down next to my mother, who literally repeated my dad's explanation of what she did wrong word for word and tacked on an apology afterward. I'd asked her to be more genuine, only for her to say she was being genuine and for my father to say that it was hard for her to apologize. I said I hoped she wouldn't do it again in the future, which made my dad say she doesn't do it on purpose and call me selfish for not accepting her apology and making this whole thing worse.I don't believe forgiveness should be given if the person isn't being held accountable or claiming to do better in the future. This is the third time she's said this exact sentence.Am I overreacting or am I right in not being quick to forgive?",AITA for not wanting to forgive my mother after she said something in the heat of the moment,YTA
10z4w9t,"So I (22F) and my best friend (24f) have always wanted to do youtube together. We’ve talked about it for years but have never done it. Ive also always wanted my own channel. At the end of last year, we decided to finally start. We planned our content, did practice videos to get a feel for the editing process, and we were finally making big steps towards actually doing it. the plan was to start our joint channel, and branch out into our own channels later. (i wanted to do it the other way around, but conceded for her) Although, i did feel like I was putting in more work and taking on more tasks it was fun so i didn’t mind. Well after that, I had a lot of personal stuff going on and had to stop working on it for a while. (like 2 weeks i stopped) I was going through a major depression episode and could barely do the bare minimum for my home and family. I was struggling with a lot of dark thoughts. As i was starting to pull myself out of it though, I sent my best friend a message apologizing for my absence and letting her know i’m getting ready to jump back into things though. What’s upsetting me though, is she kinda ghosted me too. I wasn’t the only one who stopped working and texting, she did too. It was around the holidays though so i figured she’s just busy, i obvi had my own stuff going on, so i didn’t hound her. But now that i’ve taken accountability for my absence and apologized, she hasn’t even read the message. it’s been 3 days. I don’t know if she hasn’t read it cause she’s busy or if she’s mad at me. I’m at a point where i’m going stir crazy ready to work on things again, because i really do enjoy the process of working. Would i be TA if i start working on my own channel even though we agreed to wait?Edit: a lot of people keep asking why i haven’t called so let me clarify here. She has clients that come to her home and i don’t know her schedule for when. i don’t want to call her while she’s working and busy with a client. I have kids and am all over the place during the day too. We typically schedule phone calls for this reason, not call out of the blue.",WIBTA for starting my own Youtube channel?,NTA
10z4u0q,"So I live in the upper mid west where snowfall is expected during the winter. Yesterday we had a winter weather advisory where we got around 5 inches of wet snow. This morning I woke up and was walking to class and over half the sidewalks in front of peoples houses were essentially pure ice with no sand. I then wanted to see what others in the community thought so I posted a picture of a very long, pure ice, sidewalk and said “why don’t people shovel?”, not as a genuine question but more so voicing my frustration with the fact that my sidewalk is clean and dry while others neglected to even put some sand over the ice. The reaction I got was not what I was expecting as I was downvoted to oblivion and received a few heated comments towards me attacking my personhood😂 I know I am the idiot for posting with an expectation, but am I the asshole?",AITA for posting/complaining about icy sidewalks the morning after a big snowfall?,YTA
10z4ng8,"For some context, I (F16) and seven of my other close friends (all F15-16) had a sleepover the other week. As you might imagine, fitting 8 people into a bedroom was quite hard, we had 3 people on the double bed (will be relevant later), 3 people on air mattresses on the floor, 1 person on an armchair and 1 person on a campbed. I was on the double bed, in between G (F16) and another girl. It was quite late (5am or so) and we had been steadily drinking our way through a couple packs of beers and we decided to turn the lights off and go to sleep (now would probably be a good time to add i wear glasses and have a very strong prescription, not sure how much though my mum takes care of that lol. I also still had them on even though we were trying to “go to sleep”). As we were talking in the dark, G reaches over and snatches my glasses off my face. We were laughing and I was trying to get them back and asking for her to give them back and she says “no”This is where I think was the asshole: I said “stop this is ableist!” and G said something along the lines of “no it’s not?” (G is very outspoken on issues such as misogyny ect and as far as I’m aware she isn’t disabled in case that’s important at all)Then I decided up the assholery and said “Yes it is because I’m not able to see!” After I said this she went kinda quiet (I think she said something but I cannot remember it, sorry) and just gave me my glasses back and when we went out the next day she seemed off with me. We haven’t really talked about it since then (we are still close though). So AITA??",AITA for making a joke about ableism?,NTA
10z4lud,"Context: my father's mother is the one in the hospital right now. Last Christmas I cut contact with my father so the tension is already highHere's the people involved:My mom - Mom, F56My father - Dad, M53My brother - Bro, M31Father's mother - Kay, F72and me, NB21Mom and I booked a cruise for this weekend a few weeks ago. We were both very excited about going, since we haven't really spent enough quality time with only the two of us, and this trip was my Christmas gift to Mom.Kay got a serious case of cerebral hemorrhage today, and was taken to the hospital. It still isn't looking good, although she is stable. Later in the day I saw a group message from Bro saying others in the family think Kay won't make it long enough to see Monday. I'd been very off the whole day already, and reading that made the seriousness of the situation finally hit me. I almost broke down.I then asked Mom to tell me the details, and she did in several messages. Right after that she asked me what I was gonna pack for the cruise. I was shocked. I couldn't even consider going somewhere, when it's a very real possibility, that Kay might actually die, while I could be there, but wasn't.Only a minute later I see Bro sending more messages pondering what my parents might do with Kay's house. He was talking as if Kay was already dead, and I just felt devastated all over. I had to cancel the cruise. Mom seemed to reluctantly agree to cancel the cruise, and just said ""the money will go to waste"". I couldn't care less about 80€ going to waste right now. It wasn't even her money, but mine. And I understand it's a lot of money since I'm a student, but still.After that I got a message from Dad saying that we ""aren't allowed"" to cancel the cruise. That we can't help anyways, and that he's going to get offended if I cancel the trip (??)  He thinks it's best we visit Kay, and then leave for the cruise. I got offended, that Dad would be offended, about me canceling the trip. It's his mother in the hospital, for fuck's sake. If it was him, would he really want me to leave to have fun and not be nearby in case something happens? So after getting this message I sent a screen shot of it to Mom and said again that I'm sorry, that she and I wouldn't be going. She replied that she understands me and tried to cheer me up a little bit.I'm so hurt, confused and apalled about what's going on right now. But I also feel guilty about taking away the ability to try and get away from everything (lots has been going on in my family since Christmas) from Mom. Especially since she seemed so reluctant to agree, and I know she needs this chance to relax a bit.AITA?",AITA for not going on a cruise when my grandma might be dying?,NTA
10z4cn2,"I think IATA, but I also want to get the internet‘s opinion. I (25F) have been living with my roommate (27M) for about a year. We knew each other before moving in together and it seemed like a compatible match. My roommate talks a lot about wanting to  live in a clean apartment, but he has a hard time initiating cleaning. This was something I thought we could figure out together since I also like a clean apartment, but initiating is sometimes hard for me too. It turns out we both have the same sense of what is considered clean and organized, but we have very different thresholds. Even though it bothers him, my roommate‘s room is filled with fast food trash and dirty laundry. It has a hoarders vibe to it. I have tried numerous times to get him organized but it doesn’t last long. We‘ve talked about setting a cleaning schedule for him to just work on his room, but he doesn’t think he can do it. Right now I clean the house about once or every other week. I try my best to keep my things organized, but I find myself cleaning up after him too. When I ask him to help with just the bathroom, or something, he will clean half of it and then neglect to finish the rest. He says he’s trying his best and to let him know what needs to be done around the apartment, but I just feel like his mom. When we started living together I didn’t have enough money to live alone, but since I’ve changed jobs and have a salary increase and I have been able to save money, I feel like I’m ready to live on my own when it’s time to renew the lease. In the mean time, though, I’m having a hard time keeping my frustrations inside. I have been complaining to my friends about living with him and I feel like trash talking shit behind his back. Even when my friends come over and he’s hanging out with us, I have a hard time not feeling annoyed with him and it comes out in my attitude towards him. AITA?",AITA for complaining about my roommate?,NTA
10z45co,"So my (13F) friend (13F)  asked me to hang out with her today. ( She also asked me a few times before but i never felt like it so i never agreed) This time we had a big argument about it. I again said no because i just didnt want to and she got really mad at me. She wanted me to give her a reason why i dont want to hang out and since i really didnt have any i just said i wasnt feeling like it. She then told me that im a selfish ahole and kept insulting me. She even bringed my past and my mom into this. One other thing she said is that we more online friends than friends irl since we text each other everyday but dont really meet.( a little detail, she moved to a new school recently but we used to be classmates and obviosuly met everyday)  I know it probably sucks to have a friend who never hangs out with you, but ive been feeling so shitty lately and cant bring myself together.  Idk whats going on with me, but shoudve just agreed and go out with her instead of doing that? AITA?",AITA for not wanting to hang out with one of my friends?,NTA
10z44nw," So, my boyfriend is a femboy. I love him and support his decision to dress this way. I find him very attractive and compliment him whenever I can. He often wears shorter skirts and revealing shirts, which I dont mind in general. However, this was a different case. My sister recently recovered from a hospital visit, so my family thought it’d be fun to have a family meetup as celebration (she was in the hospital for a decent chunk of time). They invited me, which I of course accepted, and when I told my boyfriend, he asked to come. I was put in a difficult situation here, as my family are very traditional. It was already a strain when I came out as gay, my dad didnt speak to me for a month after I told him for example. So I told my boyfriend, that if he came, he’d have to dress more normally, jeans, standard shirts etc. He took offense to this, telling me that the way he dresses is normal, that theres no default clothing for anyone. I told him this wasnt true, I dont dress this way, and he got mad and has been ignoring my messages and calls. The meetup is in a week and I dont know what to do here. So, am I the asshole reddit?",AITA for asking my bf to dress differently?,NTA
10z41mm,"throwaway accountI (20nb), live with my boyfriend (21m) and his roommate (25m). The roommate has a girlfriend (23f) who moved in not too long ago after a fight with her sister (who she lived with before).As soon as she moved in, there were problems. She had an issue with the bedroom arrangement (she wanted the master bedroom, Roommate chose the secondary because that’s what he wanted, she blames me and my bf), then she had a problem with my boyfriend’s cooking (she can’t cook, *I* can’t cook, Roommate didn’t wanna cook that night), THEN she had an issue on parking, because my boyfriend uses the covered parking spot for his car while the Roommate and I are uncovered (she has no car). She made us get rid of our cat because she didn’t wanna chip in for the pet fee, which no one asked her to do. She doesn’t clean unless practically begged— last week, she left dirty dishwater in the sink, blackened food(?) in a pot on the stove, and a fucking EYELASH on the counter— she throws away groceries that me and my boyfriend buy if she doesn’t like them, she won’t let me smoke on my own porch, she belittles me and my bf, she doesn’t pay rent, she’s constantly cheating so they’re ALWAYS FIGHTING at night, she’s called out of work so many times that if she takes 1 minute too long on a break she’s fired, leaves her clothes in the washer for hours and gets irrationally angry if I remind her, steals food that she wants for herself… I’m over it. Here’s why I don’t know if I would be TA: she has little to no savings, and no one to move in with after us, as we were her last resort after she split from her sister. So if I ask to put her out, that would pretty much make her homeless. No amount of talking will get her to change, we’ve tried, and I just have no idea what’s left for me to do. WIBTA?",WIBTA for kicking out my roommate’s girlfriend?,NTA
10z3wr8,"I (f18) have a friend that I'll call Jenna. Jenna (F17) is kind of new to our friend group and makes it quite obvious and is kind of vocal about how she likes my twin brother who I'll call Josh (M18). That's fine, I've had plenty of friends try and get me to set them and my brother up just like his friends with me. We both barely ever do it though. The other day I was at lunch with two of my best friends, Jenna, and other girls in our friend group. One of my best friends made a joke about Josh always yelling at my house when he's playing on his PS5. I laughed because it wasn't serious and I know that Josh would think it's funny too. But Jenna said something like ""I don't know about you guys but I would never make fun of someone who I consider my friend."" I just kind of rolled my eyes but she kept going off on our friends and also acting like her and Josh are best friends or something. I said ""it's fine""  hoping she would just stop talking. She then said ""no Josh is my friend I'm not just gonna sit here and let people talk about him."" he is literally my twin brother and him and Jenna really aren't that close at all. The only times they have hung out was when our two groups hang out, It was hard to watch so I just texted her and asked if we could talk about this somewhere else. I know I'm not the one who did anything but I just wanted her to stop talking about it to everyone. She then showed everyone the text I sent and said ""Just say it"" so I said ""Jenna, you don't hide the fact you like my brother which is fine. But you're talking to them (my best friends) like they haven't known Josh their whole life, and you're talking to me like he's not my twin. You're making this a whole thing because you want us to think that you have this close bond with him. If you want a close bond with him just ask him out, don't yell at people because of it."" I felt really bad afterwards. I just found it annoying at the time and I just said it. She didn't say anything except ""whatever"" back to me and then our conversation went back to normal.",AITA for telling a girl how i see it?,NTA
10z3ud9,"I am a (white female) magician hired to do magic at a Mardi Gras party for a New Orleans themed bar. My immediate idea was to do tarot/voodoo themed magic and outfit. Like a tailored coat, skulls, that kind of thing. Like Dr Facilier from Princess and a Frog. Now I’m worried this may be cultural appropriation, but I’m not doing some tribal/headdress witch doctor thing. It would be more of a steampunk vibe. What do you think? Should I stick to a tacky jester outfit instead?",WIBTA if I dress as a witch doctor for a Mardi Gras magic show?,YWBTA
10z3h0s,"So, I live in a very everyone-knows-everyone place, and I know a lot of people and I go out a lot. Being such, I hear about a lot of ""drama"" - things people have done or said, who they did or said it to, things about people's pasts, etc. My problem is that I find so much out that I end up forgetting most of it. There have been multiple times where I've been hanging out with a friend of a friend, then suddenly remember that they did XYZ awful things to people I love and care about. I feel like I'm letting down my friends by not being diligent enough with the information I remember to hold people accountable, but I'm also autistic and struggle with my memory because of that.My solution, an idea I had a few days ago, was to start keeping a private (password-protected, encrypted etc) document of the things I hear about people, so I can cross-reference it when I meet/see people to make sure I'm not putting myself in dangerous situations (like the times I've suddenly remembered the accusations against a man I'm alone with) or betraying those I care about.The problem is this - I started making this document, then couldn't remember the name of someone I was recently warned about by my best friend. I messaged them to ask, and they told me, then asked why. I trust this friend implicitly and know that they would never try to steal my phone/hack me/etc for the document, so I told them about it, and they blew up at me. They said it was a major violation of privacy not only of those I noted the bad actions of, but those who were victims of them/told me the information. Said that I could get people in a lot of trouble, could end relationships, put myself in danger, etc. When I suggested having a physical file with padlocks etc they got even angrier and said that it was about the principle.Now they're refusing to talk to me until I ""admit"" I was wrong and promise not to do it. I understand that it could be a violation of privacy, but it's not as if I'd be using any information that wasn't either public or told to me personally. I feel it would do more good than harm, and I could effectively warn my friends about local predators/cheaters/etc.So, WIBTA if I made the document and lied to my friend about it?",WIBTA if I kept secret notes on local goings-on?,YTA
10z3beo,"I will use my most recent date as an example, and as banale as it sounds, it turned into the topic of strippers. And it came to her attention that in my opinion, there is a difference between strippers who dance for money from men and strippers who dance for fun, I conveyed my opinion that the strippers who dance for money from men basically lose a little of their souls bit by bit. And she asked me (as a follow up question) if I ever would date somebody with an onlyfans, and I put a hard no on that.I dread first dates, because I dont know of there is something wrong with *how* I tell my opinions on matters, or if my opinions themselves make me a total a-hole?",AITA and the reason for not getting anywhere with my first dates?,YTA
10z36de,"Hi there,I came home for a short period of time and wanted to catch up with my close family. I was given a short notice by my sister for the diner I asked her to organise (for which I had to make a couple of changes to my schedule to make this easier for her) and out of the blue she has invited someone else that I don’t want there as I want to relax and be with the family I haven’t seen for years. I’m also very stressed and tired, I asked why I wasn’t consulted first and I got thrown back phrases and whys to make me feel guilty. I asked if the person could not come this time and I’m sure they would understand that we want to be with close family on this occasion. But my sister refused and continued wanted to force me to do what she says.I flipped as I’m tired to be forced to do things (this happens a lot in the family. I don’t feel we can have conversations, it’s always what the parents or the oldest siblings say), and I said I would rather not attend then. Is it for me, like are you coming to see me or the diner is just an excuse to have a friend fed?I have seen all my family separately since I have been back, expect my sister. So this diner is also to see her. She says she is busy all the time and work 24/7 but she goes out and party, I know it’s all bs.I’m honestly just tired and I don’t care anymore. I said it’s either she learns to have a conversation and be polite or go and do her own thing with her friend, as I thought, she wanted to see me lol but I guess not.I don’t like to flip on people, even less so on family, so this is why I’m here asking. But either way, I’m just so tired of being constantly forced by others wishes that I don’t even care if I’m the bad guy here.In fact, if I did say yes, it would have been to make her happy. Again, over my own wishes. If this was her diner, I wouldn’t mind. If it was a partner I wouldn’t mind, even if I didn’t like them, I would force myself for them. But a random person with my whole damn situation now? I just want peace. She is already a lot to handle… I wanted this diner out of politeness, we don’t even have a healthy relationship, she is mostly aggressive toward me when things don’t go her way. Hence why not consulting me first, not even bothering to ask what I wanted.Anyways sorry, this feels now more like a rant. It’s funny how with age, we don’t have time to waste anymore to make other happy constantly over our own wants and needs. I want a harmonious life, respect, and love. I won’t compromise.I’m happy to start over the conversation if my sister apologise and follow my wishes for something that was organised for me. And just simply shows that how I feel do also matter. Otherwise I’m happy also where I am. Family doesn’t mean shit if people treat you like shit. Specially when you clearly tell them to not do it.Edit: My sister only had to find a restaurant for 5 people. That’s it. It’s not a party and there is no guest list lol I could have done it, but I thought it would be good to get her more involved but it didn’t matter for what happened anyways.",AITA? Sister invited a friend for a very small family diner organised for me but didn’t consulted me first.,YTA
10z3642,"So basically it was very bad where i used too live sometimes we didnt get fed and i was getting the most hate from my family. It did get too the point where i ran away from my home one day after school, i was walking on the highway and was really into it. but after some hours my mother came after me and it was the first time i told her no because i was generally scared of her. she was yelling at me too get in the car i said no and kept walking she followed me stepped out once again and threathend too call the police thats when i gave up and sat in the car. when we got home i wasnt allowed too talk to any of my siblings all 3 of them came running into the hallways when i did get home and when i never responded too them they all started crying and so did i. When my mom got inside after smoking she told me to go too my room and that she did not want too see me again. I was the second child to get kicked out and i am heavily concerned about who the next one is going too be, i know i wasnt last.",AITA for running away from home?,NTA
10z35ab,"Bf wants to start smoking/vaping. I freaked out because he hasn’t used in five months and at the tail end of it he was obsessed. He used his pen/edibles before work, drive to work, on his break, on his lunch, during work, after work, and up until bedtime. He told me he wouldn’t get to that again because that was a difficult and stressful time for him as he hated his job and that was the culture at work everyone smoked.I still wanted to pin him down and have him say that he would do it once a week exhausted from a long workday, or at a party, or at a get together just every once in a blue moon, but he insisted that it may very well be every day after work just to relax take the edge off and use because it makes him calm and happy. So he brought up that maybe we are just not compatible with our lifestyles if I am going to be upset, he uses every day, even if it meant that he wouldn’t just get high every day because that’s not his plan. He’s asked that I’d be all in or all out on this matter because it’s a dealbreaker. He doesn’t want to be judged he doesn’t want me upset. He doesn’t want me to control him, he just wants to smoke and be free and chill.I thought about it, and I do not want to lose my partner over this. He takes care of me. He’s responsible and goes to work and now he says he won’t do it at work or while driving. Is it fair to say hey I’m all in but I need :1. Keep it away from my teen seeing/smelling this as he’s impressionable don’t want him exposed. 2. If we happen to see my fam (totally against it) to use some eye drops caz his eyes get red. AITA? To say I’m good but here’s these two things. AITA caz this is still me controlling him nonetheless?",AITA for setting bf boundaries around his marijuana usage?,NTA
10z31cy,"So for context, me and this person (I’ll call him Jake) have known each other for 2/3 years but known we existed for 5 (we got into this big dispute when we were younger). Our families are very different even thought we are both from Jamaican parents (he was born there, I wasn’t). Now you may be asking, why does this matter? Because my family is very supportive and caring, I’ve learned to have patience and take things slowly. While on the other hand, Jakes family is not the greatest (to say the least) from what I’ve heard on phone calls and vents they’ve expressed to me. With that, they’re used to moving really quickly and solving problems instantly. A couple weeks ago, they talked to be about how they feel absolutely horrible around me because it feels like they’re talking to a family member (which is not a good thing) but then proceeded to use the classic phrase “it’s not your fault but..”, so naturally I apologized and asked them how can I be a better person to *them* specifically. But he didn’t give me a direct answer. Even after telling me how I remind them of their toxic family, Jake said he still wanted to be friends with me, and so did I. On Saturday/Sunday, I asked them if I could take a break from our friendship because what they said really pierced me. Because they like resolving issues under 24hrs, that whole talk we had made me stressed that I would drive them to do awful things to themselves AGAIN, but I went with it because I always go by other peoples rules. I told them I needed some time to think about it because I was starting to get hysterical about it in my mind, they said okay but seemed upset. In the end, we agreed I could have my break, but what they didn’t express to me was that I was on some timer to tell them if I still wanted to be friends or not. Yesterday, I thought I finally made up my mind and wanted to be friends with them and I wanted to tell them later but they came up to me and said “let’s just not be friends because you took too long to decide.” And I just went, “Oh, okay then.” So, AITA for apparently taking too long of a break of my ‘friends’ liking after I explicitly asked?",AITA for taking a 6 day break from my ‘friend’ after explicitly asking them if I could?,NTA
10z2w1f,"First of all english is not my native language so sorry for any mistakes.  All names are obviously fake.  I (20F) have known my best friend, Taylor(20F) since we were 6 months old, however we are currently study in different cities and have different friend circles, so we barely hangout anymore. But when we do we take the most of it.  I’ve been officially dating my boyfriend, Tim (20M) for 4 months and his friends have become my friends. This story is regarding my friend Harry (19M) and he’s been recently going out with Diana (19F) but they are not officially dating.  So onto the story, Taylor and I planned on hanging out, we went out for lunch and then we met with Tim and later Harry and Diana joined us (I did not know she’d be joining us).  So context: I’m not the most affectionate person to people i don’t really know and i’m kinda of an introvert.  Back to the story: Diana ran to me, hugged me and screamed for my name, she treats me like her best friend although we’ve only seen each other 4/5 times. And my reaction was just to hug and say “hello”.  While Tim and Harry were playing snooker, Taylor and I were off to side just catching up and Diana was watching Tim and Harry play. After a while Tim noticed Diana was missing and Harry went looking for her, they came back 25 minutes later and he said that she was just bored.  However I just continued to talk to Taylor while Diana went to sit somewhere else alone.  I thought I did nothing wrong but when I told my mom and sister the story, my sister was understanding but my mom thought I was the asshole and rude for not including Diana in mine and Taylor’s private conversations.  So Reddit, AITA?Edit: it was not my plan to hang out with them but Harry was late so Tim called me so he was not alone. And we went to the snooker place because I was cold and it was the only warm place close by. Diana went to hangout with Harry she did not know I was there,",AITA for ignoring my friend’s girlfriend,YTA
10z24cm,"Seems small but this issue has been building for me.My roommate and I have been living together for about 6 months now. We’ve known each other for 10 years.I was the first to arrive in our suite and I furnished most of the bathroom, including toilet paper, soap, body wash, shower rugs/mats, shelves, etc.Since then I have been working on paying for my own college for some time now, but it’s been slim going and I rarely have any extra cash. I’ve made this known to her and apologized if there was anything I might not be able to get straight away. I also wasn’t able to but her a birthday gift because of this.She has a little more financial room due to a full ride scholarship.Recently we ran out of toilet paper. She went out and bought some, which I was grateful for and thanked her, and she asked me for 5 bucks in return for getting it.This isn’t the first time she’s asked, as we have gotten things for the both of us before. And I’ve always paid for my half up to this point.But I was hesitant this time because I know that as of right now, I do not have 5 dollars in my account and I would need to borrow from my parents, who honestly don’t have any more money than I do as of right now.But thinking about this now…I have paid for a whole lot of the things she uses. She uses laundry detergent, her room has the mini fridge my parents and I both split the cost for (which she said she would pay them back for and never did), many of the things in the bathroom are all mine. She even at one point addressed how she felt bad my parents and I had paid for so many things, so I suggested that she pay them back, and she told me “maybe.”When I addressed this later, she said she had paid an equal amount for all the things she contributed to the bathroom, but so far that has been a shower curtain and now the toilet paper.I’m really trying to stay as neutral as possible here, but these are facts of our situation. Even before our current situation, she has always been extremely adamant about what I owe her, and it makes me feel as though the friendship has a price. I could understand if I owed her a large sum, but it’s never more than a few bucks.Is it possibly my fault for not reinforcing from the beginning that I needed her to pay me for what I bought? Or should I have been more adamant about being paid as I bought stuff in the future, even though I didn’t want to pressure her?Would I be the asshole if I didn’t pay her?I so, is there at least some way I can tell her I don’t have the money right now?",WIBTA is I didn’t pay my roommate 5 dollars,YWNBTA
10z1v50,"Context before the story I moved 8 hours away from home to start fresh. I only had a handful of close friends. The closest friend I have to this day is Drew. Drew is trans (biologically female, identifies as a man). He strictly likes biological females, and has never dated men, whether cis, or trans. Also extremely masculine. He is the kindest person I know, and has gone above and beyond with supporting me through my depression and social anxiety. I have done the same, whether it was him confessing he wanted top surgery, come out as trans, dealing with cheating partners I’ve always been there for him. Around the craziness of the holidays we were able to literally see eachother for 5 minutes because we were driving to different functions. He was meeting my GF Miley (24F)  who I’ve been dating for almost a year. She has had a history of being jealous, and insecure but considering I’m a bit of a loner and was new to the area there really weren’t any issues because there was no body to have an issue around. we gave each other a massive hug, and I spun him around as I usually did. We spoke briefly and I introduced him to Miley. They were friendly, and spoke for a few minutes as I put the presents for Drew and his GF in the car. Afterwards me and Miley were driving and she seemed really annoyed. I asked her what was up and she refused to talk about it. She just stared out the window. I told her to take her time and I was here when she needed me. After a while she opened up and said it was inappropriate I had another person in my arms. I was confused but she clarified that it was the hug and even if Drew was a man, because he was biologically female it was an issue. I asked her if the hug was flirty, or inappropriate? She said it didn’t seem inappropriate but she said I wasn’t allowed to hug him like that if she was around. This irked me because Drew is one of the few people I don’t have to police my actions around. Now I’ve never policed her actions. She has gotten dinner with male friends one on one and the only thing I ask is to have her let me know she’s safe. She has a history of cheating on partners while I don’t. So I don’t know if that where this is coming from. But is this really an issue? Is me hugging my best friend problematic?",AITA for letting a female jump into my arms in front of my gf?,NTA
10z1mur,"Hi everyone, recently I was able to receive two job offers. One is a government job and the other is for a counseling service. After making taking a few days to make my decision, I decided to go with the counseling job because it fits more align to what I wanted to do. As a result, my family was upset with me that I did not go for the government job. This was worse since my mother (who is a beautician) really relies on her clients to help out with my job search. One of them was a lady that really guide me and referred me into applying for government jobs because of the benefits and pay that the government gives to the employees. AITA for choosing what I love to do over money and security?",AITA for choosing another career path than what other people want?,NTA
10z1d9t,"I was in college and had a group of 3 friends, Anna(me), Bella and Cinderella. One more classmate Debby, was an introvert, overly sensitive and entitled girl.normally ABC do everything together because,they lived in the same dorm. When we went out for anything, three of us would go together and Debby never cared about it until one day. During a Christmas trip, we planned to go out without Debby because Bella had some conflicts with her she told us Debby shows up, she won't. Fast forward when we posted photos of the trip, Debby bombarded me,only me with texts and voice messages asking why we didn't invite her and if we were enjoying without her. When I went back, everyone asked why I made Debby cry. I felt like a boyfriend cheating with 2 other girls, all imaginary. Apparently she was crying Infront of all classmates even professors involved. The protagonist, Debby was getting a lot of attention along with us, I guess she was happy but we were criticized as hell for not caring about her.She apologized, but Bella and Cinderella were still pissed at her. Despite this, they still don't like her and she tries to be in contact with them. Recently, a memory of the Christmas thing came up and we were reminded of all the other instances where we had to deal with her especially me since for some reason she always targeted me. They were wondering if we should cut off the relationship, but we need someone's opinion who is not involved in this. When this happened I,Anna was 22, Bella was 27, Cinderella was 25 and Debby was 28. So in case anyone wondering why no body liked her behaving childishly.",AITA for leaving 1 friend to hang out with other 2?,NAH
10z2e0e,"Y’all IK I’m TA for asking him out but am I wrong for tell B after I wasn’t paid?My best friend offered me $20 to ask this boy , B, to our winter dance. I did but didn’t put much effort into convincing him to go with me because I didn’t actually want to go, and he said no (thank god). My friend refused to pay me, ig she wanted us to date and got mad when it didn’t work, so yesterday I told her to either pay me or I’d tel B that I had been paid to do it. My best friend and B have been friends for 8 years.Long story short, she refused to pay me, so I told B and he wasent mad at me surprisingly. We just carried on after and talked about schoolwork and stuff, but B was really mad and my best friend. He removed her from snap and isnt talking to her, my bestie blames me and says it’s all my fault. AITA? (Ik it was an asshole move to ask him out for the money, but am I wrong for telling him I was paid and ruining a friendship?)",AITA for telling a boy that I was paid to ask him out?,ESH
10z7vuq,"Hello Reddit, long time no see. You helped me last time so I’m back again.I (mid 20’s F) lost my best friend a little over a year ago. Since then, I adopted a senior dog from the shelter named Benton. He’s a almost 9yo German Shepard. He was an owner surrender and is dog reactive.Anyways, this happened yesterday morning. The town I live in has a pretty nice dog park. It has a big yard for groups of dogs and smaller pens for individual pets. I typically bring him on Mondays and Thursdays in the morning as it’s the most empty then.I would say 9/10 times it’s empty or at least one individual pen is available. However, yesterday the two individual pens were occupied but the big yard was open. Benton wears a harness with ‘REACTIVE’ clearly visible. Since the large pen was empty, I unleashed him and started throwing his ball for him to chase. I would say about 20 minutes later a woman 20-30s was bringing her dog to the entrance of the pen where I was sitting. At that point, I let her know that my dog was reactive and asked if she would wait a couple minutes so I could get him leashed up and out the other gate. This is when things got confusing. The woman started to -not yell but not talk politely either- say that I shouldn’t bring an aggressive dog to a dog park. I was just trying to deescalate and let her know that I was getting my dog as fast as possible and that she would have the large pen shortly.She huffed and walked a few feet away. I got Benton and we left but I could hear her call me a B**** when we walked past.Anyways, AITA?",AITA for bringing my reactive dog to a dog park?,YTA
10zbm20,"I (23M) know I am only doing wrong on myself for asking someone to basically rewrite my papers, but I have a lot on my plate and I might be an AH.I have been friends with Emma (21F) for a few years, she has always been generous and caring, and she likes me, at least that's what I think. If I ask her for help she is usually at my beck and call. She's an A student in university, she is studying English, and writes essays and papers very very last minute and still manages to get A+'s. I wish I had the talent that she does, but I was not blessed with that sort of gift. Even when I put in all the time and effort in the world I still manage to get a C at best, and from a college student, that's a pretty bad mark.So for the past two years, I have been asking Emma to rewrite my essays and discussion board posts for me. She takes them under her belt and gets it done really fast, and my English grades have gone up significantly because of her.But the past few times I have been feeling...Icky. Like I'm taking advantage of her and the way she feels about me. I don't know if I'm doing something wrong or if I am the AH because of me asking this of her, but I would like to get others' opinions.AITA?",AITA for asking my friend to edit my papers and rewrite my assignments for me.,YTA
10z96pk,"My gf (28F) and I (32M) have been living together for 4 years now.She works from home since covid most of the time but sometimes does go into the office, I go to my office every day.My girlfriend has always done our laundry together and never had a problem with it for all these years. Since she works from home, she takes care of a lot of the house work but I do help out, where I can when I get back from work although she often refuses my offers with reasons like I should wash my hands better, I do wash my hands though.Lately she has started separating my undergarments and vests from the laundry pile and not washing them when she had no trouble doing that in the past. She that my undergarments with contaminate her clothes and wants me to do them myself in a separate load. Yet she still washes hers in the same load. I suggested we do all our undergarments in a different load and she said no because hers are cleaner and that would be worse.She got pretty mad and made some nasty comments about my hygiene saying I should keep myself cleaner in my privates, not soil myself (I do not) and learn how to wash my hands. I do shower and I do wash my hands but maybe it is natural that men smell more idk.I am getting pretty annoyed at being treated like I am disgusting when I am not,, I lived with my mom before her who did my laundry and never said my boxers were dirty. I said if she keeps doing this, I will stop buying the groceries she keeps telling me to bring on my commute from work and she can do that herself.Edit: Ok point taken I will take her advice about hygiene and shave / wax down there and see a doctor in case I have some condition. And apologize to her",AITA for asking my girlfriend to continue doing my laundry if she wants me to buy groceries.,YTA
10zbrga,I (30)F have been married to my husband who is also 30 for 5 years and been together for 8.My husband became interested in motorcycles about 3 years ago.It is something I have never liked as I feel motorcycles are very dangerous .He bought one against my wishes which was fair enough because he is an adult and it would be unfair for him to ditch his hobby because of someone else but he knows I do not like it and will never go on it.We are trying for a family and I told my husband he may need to stop riding because I was not willing to become a widow and support our children by myself if he had an accident or died. It was a bit better right now since there were no children involved but I am totally against him continuing to ride the motorbike if there are other people to consider which would be the children.He was not very happy with this and said if he ever died while riding his motorcycle I should just know that he had died doing something that he loves.I am unwilling to accept this and do not know what is going to happen once the children arrive.I am just checking to see if I am the AITA and just accept that  he rides a bike and not ask him to stop or cut down once we grow our family.,AITA for telling my husband he may need to reconsider riding a motorcycle once our first child is born,NTA
10z6rua,"Background:My husband (35m) and I (34f) bought our house in a small town almost 2 years ago and have an extra guest room in the basement. My husband has been mostly estranged from his family for most of his adult life and rightfully so I have learned because they expect him to solve all their problems and blame him for all their fights. He got out of a bad situation and made a better life for himself. He would like to give his niece a chance at a better life too, which I am all for except she shows no signs of ever doing anything with her life.My niece (husband's brother's kid) is 20. Her dad kicked her out at 14 and she has been living with her grandma ever since. Grandma's health is declining and she can no longer support her. A couple months ago they let her internet boyfriend move in with them, neither of them had ever met him irl, which is a major red flag to me. They all currently live with my husband's other brother in a different state. Current situation:The brother they live with and his gf and moving next month and have told his mom that because of her health conditions she can move with them and they will help her, however ""the kids"" as we call them are not welcome to move with them. Until a few days ago apparently my niece thought her uncle and his gf would move out and her grandma would stay and just magically cover all the rent 2k+ a month so her and her bf could continue free loading off her at their current residence. She also is so entitled she says its not fair people think she should take care of her gradma because that's not what she wants, but she still thinks she should live with grandma rent free. Neither of them have jobs,  the boyfriend gets a small government check every month which he uses as an excuse to not work or he will lose his benifits. He is 18 and both physically and mentally capable of working. Now they will both be homeless in about 3 weeks unless we take them in and move them 1000 miles and across multiple states and let them live in our basement. The thing is she has been saying she will get a job for 2 years since she finished hs and never has, they have no money (like not 2 pennys to rub together) and no plan. Last night they finally called my husband realizing he is their only option. Neither of them have ever held a job or payed rent/bills. They have no money to move and neither of them drive. They can't even afford a bus ticket let alone pay to move their posessions. We live in a small town in the middle of nowhere where driving is required if you ever want to leave the 3 square mile town. Apparently they both have too much anxiety about driving and from what I can tell have no intention of learning. They say they will get jobs but I don't believe them. They are being completely entitled and selfish and after not talking to us for almost a year are now begging to move into our house. I'm ready to let them be homeless and learn a hard lesson. I already told my husband I am not running a homeless shelter. So WIBTA?",WIBTA if I refused to let my niece and her bf move into my and my husband's house and instead let them become homeless?,NTA
10z7w4l,"I (15M) have two sisters: Emily (17F) and Leah (9F). Me and Emily’s parents adopted Leah almost two years ago. Since she has joined our family, I have taken the role of big brother very seriously. She is genuinely the sweetest kid.Emily, though, absolutely despises Leah. She’s hated Leah since our parents told us about her and has gotten much worse at hiding it recently. She was our parents’ princess and I have no doubt that she sees Leah as a threat to her title. Our parents, however, think she’s the most perfect doting older sister. The amount of times she’s asked our parents for money to take Leah to the arcade or something, only to end up getting herself a pedicure. Or the way that she conveniently forgot Leah was allergic to seafood before serving her eat shrimp alfredo. I’ve tried to tell my parents what I’ve seen and what Leah’s told me, only to be told flat out that they don’t believe me. Until recently.On Wednesday night though, I finally got fed up. My parents were out for a business dinner and me and Leah were watching some talent show in the living room until Emily came down and scolded me for “hanging out with the charity case.” Leah started crying. I started an audio recording. She went on calling Leah a crybaby and a dirty attention seeker. I told her to stop projecting on my little sister. She lost it and called both of us every name in the book while I gave Leah my airpods so she couldn’t hear anything. After a solid 5 minutes I turned off the recording and told Emily to shut the hell up. I brought her into the kitchen and called her pathetic and that I’d choose Leah over her in a heartbeat and she stomped away in a huff.When my parents got home, I showed them the video. They were devastated and enraged and blindsided. They apologized to me for not believing me and had a serious talk with Leah about coming to them if something bothered her. And, for once, Emily did not get away with her actions.She had to deal with a serious “I still love you but I am so so disappointed in you” speech from my parents and is practically on house arrest until summer starts. She has to start weekly therapy so she can deal with her emotions better. She’s no longer getting the new car she wanted for her birthday. She can’t go to her senior trip to New York that she was excited for. All of her electronics were taken away except for her school laptop and flip phone. She’s not allowed on any family outings unless both me and my little sister agree to it. She’s not allowed to talk to my little sister or me alone unless we let her. And if she retaliates against me or Leah she gets part of her inheritance taken away.Most of my brain is crying out that justice has finally been served but a very itty bitty part of my brain (and a lot of me and my sister’s mutual friends and cousins) is saying that it’s too much.",AITA for protecting my little sister?,NTA
10zcvj4,"I work in the finance department of my company. A couple of people in my company went across the country on a business trip. They get a per diem for meals, but there are certain rules to being reimbursed (the meal could only be for one person, so each person has to have their own receipt; no alcohol). One woman submitted a receipt for a late dinner at a pizza place, where the receipt had 2 xl pizzas, 2 orders of wings, and 2 desserts. It was under the per diem, but obviously that amount of food would be expected to feed more than one person. But when I asked her how many other people were included in that meal, she insisted it was only her. I really don't believe her. That's a really ridiculous amount of food for one person for one meal. I asked her several times, and she seemed to get really annoyed. I'm not even really sure the higher ups would approve of her expensing that meal because it's pretty clear multiple people were included, which goes against company policy. She's still adamant it was just her and seems to be getting really defensive and upset that I'm reluctant to send it off to be processed. Aita?",AITA for repeatedly asking an employee to verify that the food she is expensing was only for herself?,YTA
10zcn93,I’m a 19 year old female and I have two tattoos (one matching with my stepmom and the other I got as a present.) My ten year old stepbrother is autistic (so am I but he is on a more extreme level aka nonverbal etc) and almost everyone in my family has a tattoo of puzzle pieces (symbol for autism) and it has his name on it. My step mom wants me to get the tattoo however I do not want it on my body.First off it takes up most of your forearm and i have only a few tattoos that I want to get on my body. All the tattoos I want are personal to me and I have come up with the designs and ideas on my own and it’s just not something I want on me. Everytime my stepmom asks me i try to advising the question but she keeps pestering me and trying to get me to get it. I DONT want to hurt her feelings but I just don’t want it there. What do you guys think?,AITA for not wanting to get a tattoo for my autistic stepbrother?,NTA
10ze4n1,Couple nights ago I was out with my girlfriend and other friends. There’s a guy my girlfriend and her friends know but I barley know him. Actually I don’t know him at all and he’s never been very nice to me. Always standoffish and unfriendly.I was pretty drunk and at some point this guy came up to my girlfriend and put his arm around her right in front of me. At first I tried to ignore but it annoyed me so I removed his arm and said “don’t do that it’s weird” and that was it. Went back to talking to some other people.  My girlfriend and her friends think I was a really big jerk for this. I tell them it’s a respect thing. That I would never put my hands on another girl especially when her boyfriend is someone I’m not friends with. They keep saying I’m a pig and she’s not my object. But I wasn’t trying to fight him or even care if their friends. It just made me uncomfortable and I had to say something. AITA?,AITA for not liking other guys putting hands on my girlfriend?,YTA
10zdixs,"I live in a small 2-story apartment complex, two buildings with about 20 units each, each building shares 1 parking lot. My 4 year old son is special needs and is at a special needs preschool that sends a bus to pick him up and drop him off every weekday at 7:15am and 3:15pm. How it works is basically the driver pulls up to the side of the parking lot closest to my unit (I’m on first floor), the driver honks the horn a few times, and I run outside with my son out of our sliding back door and get him on the bus. In the afternoon, same deal I wait till I hear the honk and I run outside and get him off the bus. Once or twice the driver has had to honk a second time because we weren’t ready at exactly 7:15. Also want to note we live in the Midwest and it’s freezing cold most mornings so it’s not an option to wait outside.We’ve gotten two notes on our front door complaining about the honking, and then today a neighbor said “that’s been your fault this whole time? I’ve been wondering who’s behind the honking “ as he was walking by me this morning. I don’t see anything wrong with this system. My son is autistic and needs this special bus, and we’re not breaking any noise violations. I don’t see what is unreasonable about this system we have set up but we’ve had multiple complaints. My wife thinks we should ask the driver to stop honking and I have no intention of doing this. Our son is disabled and we are perfectly within our rights to get him to school as we see fit. A few honks twice a day isn’t going to hurt anyone. She is embarrassed about the complaints and thinks we should do something differently however, so I want to hear other points of view. So AITA?",AITA for not stopping my child’s bus driver from honking at pick up and drop off?,YTA
10zfmnk,"I (f25) have a daughter ( f8) that’s in the second grade and was recently invited to sleepover by a classmate.. my daughter handed me the invitation from her classmate  that we will call her lily and I was on board for her to go..but my daughter told me she’s sad because she can’t tell her best friend she’s going because she’s not invited, I then just try to reinsure her that maybe it isn’t enough space..then my daughter corrected me and said “ no lily told me she couldn’t come because she isn’t like us”. For context my daughter’s best friend is African American…so when she said that I felt like their is maybe an undertone there. So I followed up with my daughter with her class photo and I told her to point to all the girls that were invited and wouldn’t you know it…they were all white. So to further investigate my notions I decided to look up lily’s parents FB and I seen quite a few problematic post. So to me the decision became final my daughter wasn’t going. I decided to call my friend who was also parent and I asked her did her daughter get invited to lily’s birthday and she told me no. Which I already assumed she didn’t because she is Arabic.I told her everything i discovered and we came up with a plan to have a party the same exact day but to great wolf lodge and we invited everyone in the class.  Of course lily’s mom found out and she Facebook messaged me and she asked if I can move the party since 2 of the girls who were originally going to lily’s told them they couldn’t make it but instead their coming to our party. I then came up with a lie that I can’t move it and it’s non- refundable. I’m starting to feel bad because I never want to ruin a child’s birthday party so should I just cancel it or should I continue to make my point. Some parents from other classes think I’m asshole for this. So I’m asking you guys AITA?Edit: their are 13 girls in my daughters class, 8 of these girls are white ( including my daughter)  the other 5 are POC that was NOT invited. so don’t come in saying I’m over reacting when I evidence is clear as day. And also don’t come in and say “ well lily might just of been close with those 8 girls” I can’t speak for those other girls but my daughter never told me about lily until this party fiasco and she never hung with her outside of school. Also I wouldn’t of been doing all of this if my friend ( the one I’m planning it with who’s arabic) wasn’t upset…I presented her with the information and she was pissed and hurt about everything I said to her. So yes I will be an asshole for this.(also let me add I feel like it isn’t my place to determine if something is racist or not because me and my daughter are as like white as they come and I’m still having trouble to how I tell her about this.. but I just feel like this situation left a really bad taste in my mouth and I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving my daughter in the car of someone with such prejudice views plus my daughter never hangs with lily and this would of been her first time hanging out outside of school .)",AITA for organizing a sleepover for my daughter on the same exact day as another kids sleepover in her class?,NTA
10zegju,"I35f live with my husband35 and our 2 children Madison14, Katie11. My sister Amanda29 also lives with us. We have an agreement, she doesn’t have to pay rent, but help with groceries and watch the girls when needed or get them to or from school. Our daughter Madison is a lot of work. She skips school, and sneaks out. I’ve found vapes in her bedroom, and weed pens. Amanda was very similar to Madison At this age.Our dog had gotten out a few days ago, so I was replaying our outdoor video cameras to see if he came back for the food I left out in the middle of the night. Instead I see Amanda leaving then pulling up again around 45 minutes later at 3 am. She then gets out of her car, goes around to the passenger side and pulls out Madison, who is literally stumbling, Amanda’s practically carrying her in. You could tell she was drunk. I was so mad, I went straight to Amanda’s room and asked her what the hell that was.She then admitted to me that Madison had called her really drunk, she had snuck out. She then told me that Madison begged her not to tell us. I was so livid, Madison was home that day from school because she was puking, I thought she caught a bug when she was just super hung over. I started yelling that she couldn’t keep things like that from us, and that Madison is 14 and we should’ve been notified immediately. I told her she betrayed my trust. Amanda just quietly apologized. I left the room and a few minutes later I could hear her crying. Madison is now grounded, and refuses to talk to Amanda for “ratting her out,” and Amanda been mostly in her room. My husband told me earlier that Amanda was talking to him about how guilty she feels for upsetting me so badly. He said she seemed really upset. I feel bad because it’s days later and she’s still upset, but she has to know she can’t do those things.Info: before my sister moved in my daughter has called me many times to pick her up in the middle of the night. She knows she can call me. I’m quiet when I pick her up, there’s no yelling or arguing. But she does have consequences the next day. In this situation she was trying to avoid her consequences the next day.",AITA for screaming at my sister for keeping secrets about my kid from me,YTA
10z8cht,"I (18F) am in University and I have a job. During high school when i was working, i gave my mom half my paycheques to save for my future. Anyways, gas prices are really high right now and I asked for my savings just in case i needed gas because it is very expensive. She got mad at me and told me i couldn’t have them. i didn’t say anything about it because i didn’t want to start an argument but i feel like i have to right to ask for my money because i earned it myself. i feel bad because i know she’s doing it for me but i would really like the extra money in case of emergency. So AITA for asking for my money?EDIT:Im adding this because a lot of people think she spent it. I saw it in the account 3 days ago. She’s being like this because both my older brothers had spending addictions and she doesn’t want me to end up like them. She would never take my money and I love her.",AITA for asking my mom for my savings?,NTA
10z8g9d,"I (28M) have a wife (married for 2 years), Marie (38F). Marie has a son, Sam (17M). His father is not part of his life.I met Marie when I was 23 and we started dating shortly after.When I met Sam, he was 13 and he was pretty clear that he would never see me as a father figure ( which was ok. I had both a step-father and a step-mother and didn't like either of them, so I know what's like.).He was initially quite hostile but I tried to be patient and supportive and he slowly opened up to me. We came to an agreement: instead of trying to be a ""father figure"", I would be more like the ""cool uncle"". I would teach him things, help him when he needed and be his confidant if he ever wanted to share his thought. I promised him that, as long as what he told me wasn't life threatening or illegal, I would keep it a secret even from Marie if he wanted. I never broke this promise, no matter what he told me.Marie and Sam have a great bond. She is an awesome mom and Sam love her and they spend a lot of time together ( to give the idea, imagine Gilmore Girl if Rory was a boy. )A couple of months ago, I and Marie went on a two days long vacation for our fifth anniversary. We wanted to take Sam with us but he insisted to stay at home and that he would be fine being alone for one night.The vacation was amazing but when we got back, Sam was clearly in a bad mood. Marie tried to talk to him, but got nothing.I asked Sam if he wanted to talk to me about something and after a couple of hours he opened up and shared his thoughts with me ( it was nothing serious, classic teenager problems).The next day Sam was in a good mood and I told Marie that I talked to him and gave him some advice.She was initially happy but I saw she became a bit gloomy later.I asked her what was wrong and she explained that while she is happy the problem was solved, she felt a bit sad that his son wasn't comfortable sharing his thoughts with her.I tried to explain to her that it was normal: Sam is at that age where kids are rebellious. He is trying to become independent and to not rely on his parents to solve his problems. She understood but said that sometimes she feels that since the moment I arrived, Sam started to rely more on me than on her and that there was a period when Sam had no secret with her, while now I probably know more about his personal life than her.In the following weeks, I tried to solve the situation. When Sam asked me for advice, I sometime suggested him to ask his mother too. He initially did and Marie gave him some good advices but thing didn't last and he came back to me. I see that my wife is sad that his son won't rely on her and I feel guilty. Did I steal my wife's spot as Sam's confidant? AITA?","AITA for becoming my stepson's confidant and ""stealing"" my wife's spot?",NTA
10zab9i,"I 42m have been with my wife 39m for 18 years. We have 3 children together Nya16, Alex12, and Jesse9. Nya is to say the least obese. She’s 5 ft and between 215-225lb. Alex and Jesse make fun of her, despite our punishments for it. Kids at school make fun of her. We have brought this up to the school, but they do nothing. We have actually requested her to an alternative then gym class because the girls in the locker rooms would take pictures or gang up on her. My wife and I are healthy people, and I go to the gym several times a week. We make healthy dinners, and try to buy healthy snacks, but Nya needs more then that. I love my daughter, I think she is beautiful no matter what but I worry for her health. She called me crying the other day begging me to pick her up early from school, she told her friend she had a crush on this guy and today he asked her out. She said yes and then all his friends came out laughing and it was just a prank and they made pig noises at her. I felt terrible and was so furious. I picked her up and on the way home I was trying to make her feel better, and I suggested maybe we should work on some weight loss. I offered to take her to the gym with me after school, and that we could run together in the mornings before school. That it could be a safe place and we could work on it together. I really didn’t mean anything mean about it, I was just trying to be helpful. I even thought about what to say before saying it, so I didn’t upset her. She got really quiet and didn’t talk the rest of the way home. When we got home my wife went in to see her and came out angry at me. She accused me of fat shaming our daughter, and that Nya was in there crying. I wanted to go in there and comfort her and apologize but my wife said that would make matters worse and she’s humiliated. We’ve let Nya stay home the past few days and picked up her school work from school. I’ve tried talking to Nya a little but she’s been pretty quiet towards me. I feel horrible and really think maybe I shouldn’t of suggested it or worded things differently.  AITA",AITA for talking to my daughter about losing weight?,YTA
10z5x20,"Background knowledge: My dad is an Afro-Latino man my mom is a latina with lighter skinToday I was in class and we were talking about Afro-Latinos and my teacher said we were going to be talking about an Afro-Latino person so we began talking about Celia Cruz. My friend told me I thought it was going to be you which I said no to because I don’t share my ethnic background with people much so how would they know. My teacher stops us and she asks my friend who she thought it was going to be, she says my name and she asks me why I say “Well my dad is black and he’s of Hispanic-Latino heritage” and she says so how does that make you afro latina I say because he’s my dad and i have most of the features of his side appearance wise. She says no you’re not afro latina just because your dad is and you don’t look like one. This has been bothering me all day btw. So WIBTA? Or is one of us in the wrong?",WIBTA if I contradicted my teacher about my cultural roots?,NTA
10z7yeh,"Well, here we go again. More bs sister drama. Anyway's, recently I saw a movie by myself as I got a cinema pass for Christmas from my aunt. For those who don't know what it is, it's a cinema membership that let's you see movies for free as many times as you like any day.Anyway's, I saw the new Puss In Boots film last week and I planned to see it again on Thursday with a friend from college. On Tuesday though, I had booked my ticket on my laptop in my room and my sister came in and saw. She was of course visiting my mum just talking whatever bs that came out her mouth. So she questioned what I was doing and I told her I was booking my ticket to see a film. She saw the film I had chosen and immediately went: ""Oh, you're seeing Puss In Boots 2? i think (niece) would love to see that! You should take her."" Now, 3 things on why I refused. The first excuse is gonna sound lame or stupid but it's from what I was told by another friend:1. My other friend took his little brother to see it and he wouldn't stop crying seeing the Wolf character within the film so I don't want that to happen. 2. She's nearly 2 years old. She's not gonna understand it, pay attention or remember it.3. If my niece really wanted to see it, why doesn't my sister take her instead?I had listened to all the past posts and stood firmly with my decision this time. I specifically pointed out that at my niece's age, she won't be paying attention. It was honestly a ridiculous idea. Of course as expected, my sister went off on one, calling me every name in the book as she could and accuses of ""pushing away your niece"". I just don't understand how my sister can't see the logic in my reasons and just attacks me when she can't accept she's wrong. This is all just pathetic now.So Reddit, AITA?",AITA for refusing to take my niece to the cinema?,NTA
10za39x,"I’m 14 and in 8th grade. I have a bully named Bella (also 14 I think) who is constantly bothering me. I’ll just be minding my own business and then Bella will start insulting my clothes/appearance. She also calls me a sped and other ableist words because I have hearing problems and have to sit in the front.I tell my school therapist Mrs. Ramos about Bella’s bullying. Mrs. Ramos says she has sent Bella to be spoken to by the principal and other counselor, but it’s not really effective. Whenever I try to tell one of the teachers, Bella’s friends will back her up and call me the liar, so the teachers just tell everyone to focus and won’t do anything else.I was venting about Bella to my sister Nikki. Nikki explained that she tutored Bella’s brother when he was a freshman and she was a senior, and that Bella’s father died when she was in 4th grade. Nikki said it wasn’t an excuse for Bella’s bullying, but wanted me to know that Bella’s bullying is because of her own personal issues and not my fault.Bella was bullying me two weeks ago during recess again. I was really pissed off, but I also felt bad for her since I now knew about her father being dead, so I told her “You know what Bella? I am very sorry about your father. I know it wasn’t fair to you.” The teacher came back and started class before Bella could say anything back, but I noticed her friends whispering to her during class.People are still spreading rumors about Bella. Things like Bella being an affair child or her father leaving because she was a bad kid. I’m not sure why Bella hasn’t just explained that he died. It’s not as if it’s embarrassing or something she needs to keep a secret.I said what I did to Bella to show her that I understand her life isn’t perfect either and that she also has issues. My friends also agreed that it was more mature than insulting Bella back. Nikki just said that the school should have had Bella visit the other counselor more in the first place.My other sister Janelle told me that the rumors aren’t directly my fault. But that I did add fuel to the fire because I know middle schoolers will start rumors/drama over anything and since Bella’s going to a different high school, it would have been better to just wait out the situation with her.Nikki’s boyfriend and his siblings came over to visit and his younger siblings both told called me a terrible person for bringing up Bella’s dead father at all. Because they personally know how traumatic it is to not have a father (their father isn’t dead, their parents divorced) and that Bella’s father dying is probably the reason she’s acting out.I understand that and feel bad for Bella. But it still isn’t an excuse for her bullying. And I don’t have any control over the rumors being spread about Bella. But are Janelle and Nikki’s boyfriend’s siblings right that I should have just waited until graduation and that I crossed a line?","AITA For revealing that my bully doesn’t have a father in front of her friends, which has caused rumors to be spread about her at school?",NTA
10zc3kf,"Long time lurker, first time posterI (33f) and my husband (35m) have always split our chores. I do most of the house work: sweep, mop, laundry, and basic tidying up; while he does dishes and yard work. We both cook, but I cook majority of the nights because I'm home 2 hours before him and I like to have it ready for him when he gets home. We also have a 2yo daughter, he gets her ready in the morning and does drop off, and I get her ready for bed and pack her bag for the next day. For 6 years we had the same work schedule (both teachers) and our cleaning routine worked out for us. I would be cleaning in one part of the house and he would be doing dishes or out in the yard. Last year he decided he couldn't handle being a teacher anymore and quit. His new job requires him to work 9am - 6pm (he has a commute so he's gone 8-6:45) and his days off are split and not during the weekend. I spend both of my days off cleaning and taking care of our child every week. I will regularly come home on his days off and the dishes will either be partially done or not done at all and the living room will be destroyed - toys, baby clothes, paper scattered about, food on the floor, etc. Our child will still be in PJs and he will be killing zombies. He will always tell me ""I ran out of hot water"", ""I can't get anything done unless she's napping"", ""I was busy this morning"". Ok, what about the other 7 hours I was at work? When I ask him to clean up the mess in the living room he will throw a fit because that's my job. I don't feel like it's my job to clean up after a grown ass man. It all came to a head today because he told me all I do is tell him how he's a piece of shit. I told him I've never called him that, but if me asking you to clean up after yourself and to do your chores makes you feel like a POS that's on you. So reddit AITA?","AITA for not wanting to do ""my chore""?",NTA
10zfvic,"I'm currently 19(F) and I don't know how to drive at all, I've never been in the drivers seat and I've never been in a car much at all, unless it's a taxi.I live with my disabled mother and younger sister who don't know how to drive. My dad, who lives with his wife and children, doesn't know how to drive either. So whenever I need to go somewhere I use public transport.Thing is, I'm extremely scared of driving. Even the thought of it makes me incredibly uncomfortable. Even if I did manage to get over my fear, I'm also worried that when I'm in control of the steering wheel, I might get the urge to swerve and I don't ever want to hurt somebody.I'm on the autistic spectrum so I'm not sure if there's some kind of link. Also, I'd be expected to pay for all the driving lessons and whatever else and I don't want to part with that amount of money. The AiTA part is that my mother has many hospital doctor appointments. I take her to these and I also do all the grocery shopping, by going on the bus. My mums sisters (who also don't know how to drive lol) are complaing that I'm an adult and should learn how to drive so I could take my mother to the hospital more easier and it'd be more convenient for me regarding shopping, when I go to uni etc they also mention frequently how in America, 16 year olds can drive and yet I'm almost 20.I understand their point but driving lessons are expensive, buying and owning a car is expensive. I'm extremely scared of driving, and this fear isn't something that I'll get over. But my aunts keep hounding me, saying that I'm being selfish and I'm not thinking about my mum or the household. And that I'll soon get over my fear.I'm wondering if I am being selfish and should just get over my fear and learn.",AITA for not learning how to drive?,NTA
10zaqqj,"Background: I (25m) have been married to my husband for one year now. He was born in Ethiopia and her family moved here when she was 17. My family, excluding my father (47m) and I, is very religious and sticks to what they call “old values” and disapproved of the fact that I was not only marrying a man, but also a black man. They kept most of their comments to themselves, however, and the ones who didn’t weren’t invited, which caused a bit of an argument in the family, but they decided they didn’t even want to go.My second cousin, who I lived next door to during my childhood and was good friends with, tells me (only about a month before the wedding) he is getting married. I was also told I would simply be staying at my aunt and uncle’s home for the 4 days, which made quite reluctant to go. My husband was actually the one who encouraged me to go, and we booked the flight to Birmingham. For some more information, my aunt and uncle live in a fairly large house that is technically owned by my dad, who is renting the home to them at a discounted price. When we get there, we’re informed that my husband can take the couch, and I will sleep in the same room as my oldest cousin. I asked why, and they said that they wouldn’t allow their own rules to be violated in their own home by letting me and my husband sleep in the same room. I then said we would get a hotel room and then they got all pissy and went off about how they wouldn’t all an act of the devil in their home (I believe they were implying me and my husband would have sex if we had our own room, even though we wouldn’t). My husband got upset, so we decided to go to the nearest hotel. When my father found out, he was absolutely pissed, and told my aunt and uncle that they had a month until they had to move out. This is when the whole family got pissed, and started rolling out the racial, homophobic, and xenophobic slurs. They called us sinners and that they were kind enough to ignore it at first, but now they were being punished for their kindness streak breaking. The part that I mainly feel bad about is that other members of the family are being attacked as well for supporting us, and my aunt and uncle have a 9 year old son and a 12 year old daughter. I feel like they shouldn’t be punished for their asshole parent’s actions. So now I have this nagging feeling that I overreacted, which is also there because a “friend” told me I shouldn’t have reacted that way.My dad however told me that they fucked around and found out. I still feel a bit guilty however. Am I the asshole for getting my aunt, uncle, and young cousins evicted?",AITA for getting my aunt and uncle evicted?,NTA
10zf02d,"I’ve been with my boyfriend for 13 years. He has always had some sort of excuse for why he doesn’t want to get married. The first 3 years it was statistics of divorce and his own parents failed marriage. I understood that and pushed it out of my head and just enjoyed the time together. The next few years it was my debt and him feeling like I would be a financial burden, I changed that in hopes of winning his approval. After I was debt free and stable in my career for 3 years it was the pointless symbolism and ties to Christianity that he was against. It started to really bother me because I tried really hard to be good enough and then he’d think up a new reason why it wasn’t a good idea. All the while assuring me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Couldn’t I tell by the way he tolerated me?! So I started to just cope with the fact it wasn’t gonna happen, no matter how much it meant to me. I do have times still where I can’t keep how much it hurts to not be chosen like that and the hurtful excuses he came up with in the past come bubbling up and I cry about it. Marriage is important to me because I come from a half sibling family and I was the other. The child from a previous marriage. My bio dad died and his family wasn’t around so I didn’t have anyone with my same last name to belong to. It sounds silly but the heart wants to belong. I love my boyfriend so much and I’ve known I’ve wanted to marry him for many years. I’ve had other boyfriends so I know it’s not desperation but real love and admiration. This past year after a particularly ugly crying episode he decided he wants to marry me to “make me happy” That felt like a slap in the face. It feels like a cookie to get a tantruming child to be quiet. Am I the asshole for only wanting to marry someone who WANTS to marry me rather than only doing so to make me happy?",AITA for needing a better reason to get married than to make you happy?,NTA
10zaqas,"My sister (32F) is getting married this summer, and she asked me (27AFAB) to be her one and only bridesmaid. We have a good relationship, so initially I was excited. But my mood soured once it came time to pick my outfit.I asked if I could wear a jumpsuit instead of a dress, since I feel more comfortable wearing pants. She said no, without giving a reason. I was disappointed, but I was hopeful that I could find a dress I would like. And I did. I found a dress that I *love* more than I could have anticipated. It met all of her requirements (for colour, length, price, etc.) and I assumed she would approve. I was wrong. She said I was not allowed to wear it, again without giving a reason.She ended up picking a dress that I fucking hate. The bust is unflattering and makes me look heavier than I am. And half my back is exposed, which makes me super uncomfortable. I don’t like to expose much skin, since I *hate* being touched. I am terrified that someone is going to end up touching my back while we are posing for photos, and I cry every time I think about it.Even more than the dress itself, I am upset about the fact that my sister dismissed my feelings. It feels like she does not care whether I am comfortable at her wedding. While I made it clear that I hated the dress before it was purchased, I have been careful not to talk about it since then because I am not looking to make her feel bad. Instead I have tried talking about it with our parents, but they are dismissing my feelings too. They keep telling me that it is “her day” and that I have no reason to be upset, which makes me feel like an asshole.AITA?",AITA for being upset about the bridesmaid dress that was chosen for me?,NTA
10zei6w,"For some background info me(18M) and my girlfriend(19F) have been dating for a bit over 3 years now. We have a long distance relationship and see each other around 4 times each year. As a result of this we tend to spend our time together FaceTiming,playing games and watching shows together most days. Tonight we had planned to call for a bit, as we each had busy days and wanted to spend time with one another. We planned to call after her workout. The idea was that she would text when she was done her workout, and then grab some food and give me a call. At 7 she finished her workout and then went to grab some food so we expected to call around 8. 8pm rolls around and she’s not responding. At 8:30 she responds and let’s me know she just took the trash out but she’ll call in a couple minutes. 30 minutes later and there is no call or text. Same thing after 2 hours, and finally 3 hours. At some point around the 1 hour mark she texted that her and her roommate were talking a bit and didn’t give an indication when she’d be back. She finally messaged me around 11:30 and said she had a really nice long talk with her roommate.In my mind she blew me off for 3 hours to talk with a friend, when she could have texted at any point that she’d be a bit longer or have informed her friend we planned to hang out. This is not the first time she’s done this, and the other times it’s been similar situations however different lengths of time. This was the breaking point for me though. I told her that I was upset with her, we had a conversation over text that lasted about 15 minutes. I pretty much told her that I felt she wasn’t respecting me or my time, and that it was immature to blow someone off like this, especially cause it has not been the first time.In the end I told her that I need space for a few days. That this meant a lot to me and I’m sick of having the same conversation repetitively where she tells me that she’s going to try to be better at this and then there are no changes.So, AITA for reacting this way? Am I blowing things out of proportion or reacting fairly? Also how should I bring the next conversation up?TLDR; long-distance girlfriend blew me off to talk with her roommate for 3 hours. It’s not the first time she’s done this recently, so I’m pretty upset. I asked for space for a day or two.",AITA for being mad at my(18M) gf (19F) and asking for some space this weekend,NTA
10zfb66,"To give some background, my friend and I have been friends since we were in high school. Then, as we got accepted to college, I went to the west-coast to pursue my degree and she stayed in our home-state to pursue a degree at the state college.While we tried to stay in contact, we quickly lost touch with each other and didn't talk with one another for just over a decade. During this period, we started our own lives, I got married & had 2 children with my lovely husband and she was living happily on the east-coast.Nevertheless, one day, she finds my number and calls me, says she is moving to the west-coast (specifically my city), and asks me if I would like to catch-up. I said of course and I invite her to my home. We have a great time and we start hanging out together more often. Then one day (maybe just under a month in), I was taking my daughter shopping and she came with us. On this trip, I see her in a skirt for the first time. Now, let me be clear, she had some tattoos on her arms, they are lovely and great. That being said, she had only one tattoo on her leg, one very specific tattoo: a black-spade with a Q on it. Now if you don't know, the tattoo basically represents that she has a fetish for black men.Now let me clarify, I am a black-woman and she is a white woman. I have been fighting the racial fetishization of black-skin my whole life. I did not expect that my friend would be the one so blatantly engaging in it. I was angry, very very angry, but we were in public so I said nothing.I went back home, and I tried to drop it but it just kept popping back into my head. Is that what she thought of me? Is my skin just some fashion statement for her? Is she friends with me because of it? Add to this the fact that I have a son. The anger kept building up and up and up. Then one morning, I invited her over and asked my husband to take our kids to the Gurdwara for the morning (a Sikh temple - my husband is a non-turbaned Indian Sikh man).I sat her down, and we had a talk. But, the more she talked, the more I realized that she was just out of her mind. I tried to explain to her why her tattoo was problematic, she just didn't even try to understand me. Eventually, I have had it up to my head. I just kick her out of my house and tell her to never come back.This all went down about a week ago, and I told my friends and, while most have backed me, some have said it wasn't my place to tell someone what they can and can't do with their body.With all this in mind, AITA?Edit:1. Just for some clarification, I do not have a problem with people having a particular preference. However, there is a difference between preference and fetishization. In one, you date someone due to maybe just being raised around a particular group of people, or maybe you just want to marry within your own culture or maybe it's just that, personally, you have found people of a certain race more attractive. This is different to racial fetishization, as racial fetishization reduces people down to just their race. The stereotypes of that race are what are attractive to you, not the individual. It is dehumanizing. An even better clarification is that in one, you would never disqualify dating someone due to their race (this is a preference). In a fetishization you would actively disqualify people as dating candidates due to their race. To give an example, you can have a preference for black-women. Maybe you just find them more attractive and that's great. But if you get ""jungle-fever"" tattooed on ur body, that's fetishization.2. I clarified, when we talked, that the tattoo wasn't for some other reason. It was, quite specifically, because she wanted to attract black men.",AITA for kicking my friend out of my house due to her tattoos?,NTA
10zgea6,"I'm twenty. I know i can no longer constantly depend on my mother. however, I was diagnosed with cancer and desperately needed money for treatment. even though i promised her i would pay it back, she refused to help me out. today, I learned that she impulsively bought my 2 year old sister a ball pit that cost 250 dollars. she had also bought my nine year old brother a new iPhone and a PlayStation 5 while I was stuck in the hospital, paying my own hospital bills..am I an asshole for refusing to speak to her again, now that I've been cured and still need to pay off some things??",AITA for no longer allowing my mom back in my life after she refused to help me pay for my chemo?,NTA
10z5mdw,"My wife (24F) and I (24M) have been together since 8th grade. I love this woman to death and she is honestly such a beautiful soul to spend life with if you leave her mother out of the picture. In 2020 we got married and purchased our first home shortly after. Everything was all downhill after that. My wife and her mother have always had a very ""close"" relationship, but in a very unhealthy way. My wife's father has been out of the picture since we were in elementary school and she's an only child too so I can understand how they may be closer than the average mother-daughter relationship, but theirs is taking it to a whole new level. For example, throughout our high school years they slept in the same bed despite having their own separate rooms and multiple beds. Red flag #1 that I blatantly missed.. Fast forward to now and these two can't seem to get enough of each other. Her mom doesn't have many friends and is constantly talking to my wife. Texts all day, multiple calls and FaceTimes per day, and this will happen even after they've spent all day together while I'm at work. I wish I were exaggerating the previous statement but sadly I'm not. You'd think that after a while they wouldn't have much to talk about. They have zero boundaries, and I'm sure my MIL knows anything and everything about my marriage. I can't even take a simple vacation with just my wife without my MIL being involved. Anytime I try and talk to my wife about this, she gets defensive and tells me I just don't understand their relationship and that I'm mad because my mom and I's relationship isn't good. My mom and I's relationship isn't best but I still love her to death and we both respect each other's private life. Regardless, I can't have a civil conversation about my concerns without my wife screaming at me. She's also pregnant with our first child so I'm sure it is only going to get worse from here. I love my wife and I love being married to her but recently its just too much. I married someone to start a new life with them. ONLY them. I'm afraid that in the future my MIL will only be more suffocating. I just don't know what else to do and I keep asking myself, AITA?",AITA for telling my wife to cut the umbilical cord from her mother?,NTA
10zey2k,"I (16F) have been friends with ‘Amelia’ (16F) for 5 years. We both live in South Korea. I’m Korean, she is white.My mom is from Washington and my dad is from Seoul so I spend every other summer in America and I speak English, but I’ve never actually lived in there. Because of this I’ve never really  experienced racism as I am a POC living in my own country. I’ve had no bad experiences in America either, which I am lucky for.Amelia is white as I mentioned before and she has lived in Korea for a while because of her dads job. We both go to a foreign school taught in English. Lately she’s been talking more about the stares she gets in public. Whenever we hang out in public, I notice it from little kids and elders. But that is all I have seen. Based on what I know she doesn’t live differently from me. I don’t want to put myself in someone else’s shoes and act like I know anything so I usually ignore it and just say damn.Everything changed last night when I reposted something about the shootings against the Chinese people in California recently. And I spoke about how there needs to be more awareness around Asian-Americans and racism. She slid up and we started going back and forth- she says that nobody experiences racism in America and it’s ignorant to say that.To sum it up (the conversation was ridiculous), I said she has no right to “decide” whether racism is real or not. She told me she experiences it herself by living here. I was like what the fuck? She then goes on to explain how she’s always getting stared at, at the mall, on the train, in our town. I told her that being stared at is rude. And then I asked her to explain how else she has experienced racism and she didn’t really say anything. So I told her being stared at isn’t fucking racism and she needs to grow up.She blocked me, AITA?",AITA for telling me friend she hasn’t experienced racism,NTA
10zed2h,"Married my wife and her 3 girls 14 yrs ago. Bio dad has been non-existent. We have tried to be consistent with strict rules and discipline, but when it comes down to following through with punishment, the wife is soft.The twins are 18 and the youngest is about to turn 16. They are good kids. Empathetic and kind to others. No drugs or law breaking. Decent grades and have always been polite and respectful to any OTHER adults.The girls have never really wanted for anything within reason, including the twins getting a car for Christmas the year they turned 16. They also gained the responsibility of gas, maintenance, and monthly bills for insurance and extra cell phone data. (No phones for any of them until they turned 14)Both twins have already been through multiple jobs. Consistently not paying their ""bills"" and have shirked all chores and responsibilities at home. I work a lot. Not home often but expect that the rules and expectations that WE have set are followed. And like every other household, it is a constant struggle and my wife gets overwhelmed and just gives up. This is starting to be a contention point in our marriage. My wife expects the girls to do certain things and when the expectations aren't met it turns into an argument. She turns to me. We talk, set a punishment, and within a couple days the girls wear her down and she gives up. No follow through and no repercussions for the girls. When I try to enforce or push back about the shortened punishment, I'm the asshole... Or am I? LMK",AITA Frustrated Step Dad,NTA
10zaucm,"Me and my mom were shopping at a local thriftstore when I noticed a large man following me, I immediately walked back to where my mom was and informed her about what was happening. I ended up sticking by her side for a while until eventually the man approached me. He did not say a single word and was carrying childrens books, at first he simply stood there before moving very close to me. My mom encouraged me to talk to him so I said hi, he then started mumbling something and grabbed my hands, feeling very uncomfortable I pulled away and started to walk in the other direction but he followed me. Eventually I felt so uncomfortable that I ran from the store and hid in my locked car, when my mom came out she immediately began scolding me for running away from a man who likely had no idea what he was doing. I do feel a bit bad but I still feel that I was right to leave the situation as quickly as possibleAITA?",AITA for running away from a possibly mentally ill person in public,NTA
10zdpte,"Sorry for the long text/ spelling issues, on mobile. Also throwaway.  Important: This timeline happened over the course of four days. Tuesday - triggering incident. Wednesday - email. Thursday - meeting Friday - mental health day. / Coworkers telling me I'm an asshole.  Recently I accidentally triggered someone at work. (Tuesday). They ended up sending me an email about it on the work computer, on Wednesday, which stated I made them feel unsafe due to this trigger. I noted the email and decided to give them some space ( Still being friendly but not directly interacting with them as much. As their email did state that I made them feel unsafe, so I wanted to not make them uncomfortable by being around them more than necessary.) I made sure to avoid the triggering topic of conversation whenever I did see them. Unfortunately giving them space was the incorrect move apparently. As I got called into a meditation meeting with some higher ups and the concerned coworker on Thursday. They asked why I never spoke to them directly about the email: feeling that because I never did I was continuing my behavior that was triggering. I told them that I was confused as they had stated I made them feel unsafe. So I did not want to directly confront them as that could be seen as hostile. They agreed with that statement and we talked out the issues in mediation. Then Friday,  they took a mental health day from work as they are still feeling uneasy around me. Again I totally get all of this, I feel like shit for accidentally triggering them. I never want to make anyone feel unsafe. In the future I will continue to take care to avoid the topic and be a friendly coworker. I really do not want this issue to impact our work relationship more than it already has. Here is my issue, I was supposed to hang out with them outside of work for a recurring weekly group hangout. I am now uncomfortable doing so. With them feeling unsafe around me, I don't want to spend time with them outside of work. I also have a concern that I might accidentally trigger them again in the group hangout, which could result in another work issue. My other coworkers are calling me an asshole for not wanting to spend time outside of work with this person after this, and are pushing me to continue with the hangouts as previously planned. I really feel like my response is a reasonable response but I am not sure now. Am I the asshole? Edit: For everyone wondering the triggering event was me speaking to a friend ( another coworker) about how upset I was with recent transphobia in the news and media. ( To be clear I was upset that someone was being transphobic. ) The upset coworker heard me talking about me being upset and came over to listen. Their trigger was the mentioned of transphobic content at all. I understand and respect that trigger and won't ever mention it ever again. I feel so bad that me mentioning it hurt them and possibly brought up bad memories. TLDR: I accidentally triggered someone at work. I noted the trigger and now make sure not to bring it up anymore. They now are stating I make them feel unsafe around me. So, I don't want to spend time with them outside of work. Being told by other coworkers that I am an asshole for this.",AITA for not wanting to spend time outside of work with someone who feels unsafe around me at work?,NTA
10zbudr,"With Valentine’s Day coming up next week, my girlfriend decided to do something nice and ordered a box of very expensive chocolates to give me. This box of candy was delivered today, but unfortunately in the time that it sat outside on the front stoop, a raccoon or some other wild animal managed to tear its way through the packaging and make off with some of the chocolates. Though she noticed the damage when she took the box inside, my girlfriend nevertheless decided to sample one or two of the candies from the opposite side of the package. When I got home and was presented with the remnants of this gift, I thanked my girlfriend for going to the trouble of ordering it but insisted that we dispose of the package to avoid contracting any animal borne illnesses. She became upset and maintained that eating chocolates from the opposite side of the package would be perfectly safe, but I insisted on disposing of the whole thing out of an abundance of caution since the candies were not individually wrapped. When she admitted to sampling some of the candy herself, I became upset and asked her to confer with her doctor when their office opens to make sure they don’t recommend that she get a preemptive shot to protect against any illness.Am I the asshole for refusing to entertain the notion of eating food that shared a confined airspace and was in close proximity to an unknown animal’s saliva? Am I also the asshole for telling her to get a professional medical opinion about what she did?",AITA for throwing out chocolates a raccoon had gotten into?,NTA
10zelck,"Hi everyone.I (21f) have been friends with ""Sarah"" (21f) for the past three years. We are in the same program at university together. Sarah has ADHD, and because of it, she struggles to keep on top of her responsibilities, including schoolwork. Now, I'm always down to help a friend out when asked, but as time has gone on, Sarah has been asking for more and more help to a level that I feel is unreasonable. It started off with the normal stuff like sending her notes and proofreading her work to make sure it sounds good. Then I noticed that Sarah would just not come to class or not pay attention at all with the expectation that I would just give her my notes and explain what she missed to her every week. She would even try to distract me as I'm taking notes for HER and she would get annoyed when I didn't entertain her. Then she started to ask me to do things that seemed mildly absurd, like going to a course outline and describing project specifications to her. Or finding the due date for an assignment and telling her how much it was worth. She would text me asking me these things while I'm at work and she's at home, and I'm like... you can't search it up right now for yourself???Then, I'm guessing (can't confirm) that she spoke to her friends about the way I had been helping her. Before I knew it, I started getting texts from her friends whom I barely talk to asking if I can review their papers, and make sure that their bibliographies are formatted correctly.My final straw you ask?Sarah was very behind on an assignment involving video editing and animation, and of course, she hadn't been paying attention to what was being taught in class so she didn't know how to do anything. She asked me for my help, so I found her a youtube tutorial (4 minutes long) explaining the basics of what she had to do. Now, instead of watching the video, she says ""can't you just watch it and then tell me how to do it?"" I said no. Because frankly, I think it's ridiculous. Ever since then, whenever I set a boundary and refuse to help her with something (which is also due to how busy I am), she clearly gets annoyed, saying ""really? you can't help me with this? It's just an essay"" etc. I'm worried that I'm TA because I know she struggles with school, and I don't have ADHD so I can't fully understand what she has to go through, but at this point, I just feel like I'm getting taken advantage of.So, AITA?",AITA for refusing to help my friend with her schoolwork?,NTA
10zel4j,"I (56M) have a wife (48F) and two daughters (12F and 14F)I moved from Saudi Arabia with my family to a country in the west 3 years ago. I really like the country and have learned a lot and met a lot of good people here. However I am finding it impossible to get a job in my field or find a way to start a business here. I have a business in Saudi Arabia that I have scaled down before leaving and is managed by employees now. I face a lot of bureaucratic hurdles in my new country. This is however not very sustainable as the new country requires me to pay taxes on my Saudi income making things a lot less profitable.My wife does not have an education and is finding an even harder time, back in Saudi Arabia she was a stay at home.I am thinking of going back and as my family are dependents and will lose their visa if I go and they will have to join me.I talked to my wife and she agrees but is very sad about it. We have all become non religious since moving here and my wife and daughters have adapted to a western lifestyle they cannot have in Saudi Arabia. My elder daughter is very upset when we tried explaining and we get into arguments about it.My wife is willing to stay with our daughters in this country and let me go alone which is a possibility and it would work for our visa, if my wife got a job. I do not want to do this as it will separate me from my family for a long time and I would not have a visa anymore but it could benefit them eventually get citizenship.WIBTA if I followed through with this?",WIBTA for taking my family back to Saudi Arabia?,YTA
10z9z38,"Long time viewer, first time poster. Sorry for mobile formatting! I (19F) have always have always had trouble with my weight. I was never skinny, but also not huge looking. I am considered obese with my weight and height but I never really looked it because of my proportions (overweight yes I can admit that I look fat but I wear size 10 (M) pants mostly and L/XL shirts cause I have broad shoulders and a bigger chest).I’m 5’10 and before I left for the spring semester I was 235lbs. That was three weeks ago and since then I’ve started to watch my food and exercise for an hour every morning before class with the 12-3-30 exercise for an hour though. I have dropped 10 pounds and am now 225 lbs which I am very proud of but this whole time I’ve been telling my parents I was no heavier than 200lbs. I’ve been telling them that I am 200lbs since I was 16 (possibly younger I don’t really remember when I hit 200lbs) or so when in reality it’s gone up about 10lbs each year. I was always somewhat active with low impact sports sports and extra curricular activities but I loved to eat (still do) and have a very slow metabolism. So doing all of this exercise and not snacking while at school has really helped me drop the weight.Whether or not my parents have believed that I have stayed 200lbs through the past three years is unknown to me. My mom has questioned it but has never pushed and I always hide my annual physical papers so she doesn’t see the real number. They would look at photos of me from like three years ago and remark on how much skinnier I looked and I would just say it was “the angles” or if it was an insta photo of me I would say that it was photoshopped or something which since they are technologically inept they believe. Some of it is angled, some of it is photoshop, and some of it was just the fact that three years ago I was 30ish lbs lighter. My dad picked me up from school for the weekend and since I got in the car with him he keeps telling me how great I look and keeps telling me I should weigh myself (with him in the room, he sees this an encouraging and is giving me kudos for working out every day) and I keep saying I don’t feel good and I don’t want to (I have a head cold and am under the weather) so he’s kind of letting it slide and I’ve been napping a lot. He’s asked me to weigh myself like 5 times tonight to “see my progress”. I am very proud of my progress but it just isn’t the progress he would be expecting. I don’t know how to break it to my parents that I did lose 10lbs but was also starting 35lbs higher than they thought. And was kind of considering to just weigh myself when I got down below the 200lbs and say that I guess I gained a lot of muscle weight in my legs but I don’t know if I can fend them off forever. They hate lying. I go home Sunday and then won’t be back until mid March. I know I should tell them the truth but I am ashamed of myself so AITA for lying to my parents and what should I do?",AITA for lying to my parents about my weight,NTA
10zgwbc,"I had a boomer great aunt that was a wonderful and loving woman.  She just grew up in Eastern Europe right after WWII.  One of the weird things about her was that she would give her old belongings as gifts for weddings and important birthdays.  I still have the music box she gave me for my First Communion.  When we saw family I would always ask to see their pieces.  A few of my aunts had them displayed in a china cabinet or out somewhere safe.  A few had them collecting dust in a box.   I made sure they knew that if the day ever came that they wanted to downsize or something I would appreciate a chance to grab it for my collection. Some of my cousins took me up on the offer and I ended up with six extra pieces for my room.  When I moved out I made sure that every single part of my collection was safely wrapped and packed.   They are my little treasures.  I know it's weird.  Sorry for being so long winded.  I just love talking about that stuff.   I'm about 15 years younger than my eldest brother and he knows about my collection.  When he got married I was 14. At his gift opening I saw he got one of her usual gifts.   I also saw his wife's face.  She was not super grateful.  I made sure he knew that I thought it was beautiful but I didn't ask him to think of me if he wanted to get rid of it.  I thought he might like to pass it on to his kid one day.   When my aunt passed away she left me the last of her collection.  Three pieces that were a set.   I got married last September. My niece, his daughter, was my flower girl.  At my gift opening I could almost hear him giggle when I opened my gift from them.  It was the piece from our great aunt.  He thought it was super funny.  Then he gave us our ""real"" gift from our registry.  I thanked him profusely for both.  He came over the other day and saw my collection in my china cabinet I inherited. He asked me why I was so fascinated with this stuff.  I told him that I thought it was amazing and that lots of people collected it.  He called bullshit and started looking it up.  The figurine he gave me is worth about  $6,700.  He said that I was a dick for not telling him what it was worth.  He wants it back.  I said  that my husband and I were going to give back every piece I got from family as a gift for a special occasion.  I already planned to give that piece to my niece for her first communion. Along with a little booklet of information about my aunt and the value of the piece so they appreciated it.  I know exactly who I got each piece from. And they are all going back to that family. He says I'm being mean accepting a gift from him that is worth so much.  I asked him if he ever bothered looking up.the value of what he was giving me.   He said he thought it was like precious moments or Hummel.  Whatever.  I have family treasures to keep safe for the next generation. I know I would have gotten something awesome from my great aunt if she hadn't passed away before my wedding.",AITA for not telling my brother how much something was worth until he regifted it to me.,NTA
10zf5uu,"Trying not to go over the 3000 character limit so I'll have to condense a lot. Feel free to ask questions in the comments.To start, me and my ex dated for multiple years. We started out dating in high school until my senior year of college. Over the course of the relationship, we transitioned from in-person to long distance after they joined the military. We did long distance for a couple years, and once they were sent out of the country, they had nowhere to send all of their belongings (LC with their family at the time). We agreed to send all of their stuff to my house and I'd hold onto it, to which I recieved about 10 boxes worth of stuff, which I kept in a trailer.To put it simply, they ended up breaking up with me immediately coming back from their first deployment, saying the distance was too hard, and asked me to hold onto their stuff until they could grab it from me once they're back in the states. I agreed at the time. They ended up messaging me 2 weeks later saying they missed me and asking to basically get back together, and I agreed. This continued for about 5 months.And tale as old as time, I get a phone call extremely early one morning, and lo and behold, it's them admitting to having cheated on me during deployment, that they were pretty much living with the AP (who was their other partner, who had just went through their phone and found out they never stopped seeing me), and that there was a pregnancy involved and they were 6 months along (you do the math.). The phone call ended with me in tears, and my ex telling me that I could do whatever I like with their belongings since they will no longer be in contact with me (I'd like to emphasize this part). Then we promptly blocked each other.We don't speak for a year, and I've moved on with my life. They break up for whatever reason.Fast forward to a few days ago, I get a message from my ex saying they'll be in town soon, and if they can please come over and grab their stuff if I still have it.And here's the thing, I do still have their stuff. The reason being I couldn't bring myself to go through them for a while, and when I finally did, the trailer door pulley snapped, and I have no access to the trailer at this moment, but I could use other means to get inside, its just time consuming. But I don't want to see them, I don't want to open a line of communication, and frankly I find it insulting that they would message me out of the blue a year later assuming I have their stuff after they told me to do whatever I wanted with it and to never talk to them again. It's just very suspicious and I don't want to deal with it. I'm at a very happy point in my life after years of dealing with their anger issues and causing me to have extreme insecurity. WIBTA if I didn't give them their stuff back?Edit: changed a word",WIBTA if I didn't give my ex their stuff back?,NTA
10zeauf,"Told my friend that I needed new toilets.  He offered to help. I didn't ask. He offered. We agreed to doing it today. So this morning I ask when he'll be over. He said after 5. Then, I don't hear from him till 6, when he asks what I'm doing, I replied....and waited an hour for a response. At 7, still no response I texted ""I suppose toilets aren't happening today?""30 mins later he replies back that the stores open till 10 pm. I'm like, I don't wanna be working on it this late at night. Told him never mind, I'll take care of it myself next week. He lied and tried claiming he thought we would be buying today and installing tomorrow. BS, who does that and he never said that at all. Infact he even told me to make sure the area around the toilets are cleaned really good. I told him never mind. I can have them delivered and I can YouTube how to do it. (I'm 40f, tired and weak BTW but I'll figure it out) .He told me to just order them and he'll pick them up himself tomorrow and install. I don't want his help anymore. This isn't the first time he's done shit like this. It's almost constant. He even offered to help me pack up and move 2 hours down here....and then the night before he gave some lame excuse why he would have to reschedule MY move at last minute . I didn't, and instead packed it all up and drove down the mountain on my own. I can just have them delivered to my door. I'm sure I can take them up the stairs one piece at a time and do it myself. It'll be HELL, but right now I would rather pay someone than accept his free help .",WIBTAH for refusing his help?,NTA
10ze4cz,"Ever since a young age, my dad’s been on his phone while driving, including texting. I’ve told him it’s illegal, but he:A. Said it’s only a few thingsB. He’s had more experience driving than me.C. Gotten mad because someone younger than him is telling him what to do.Thing is: there are signs all over the roads saying it’s prohibited what he’s doing, but he doesn’t read them. The more he dismissed or ignored me, the closer I got to talking to the cops about it. It doesn’t matter about the hands free features or the new Bluetooth. He will just find loopholes.My family gave into the fact that my dad doesn’t like listening and told me I should just back off and let him, but when I do tell him it’s wrong, AITA?",AITA for calling my dad out for texting and driving?,NTA
10zg8f6,"So I have been cooking more recently and we finally fixed our fridge so we have a large freezer, most foods I make are made fresh (not fully fresh but few if any ingredients are frozen) and I was just looking in the freezer for the chips (there is a chip shortage here so it has been a while lol) and when I found them there was a red container next to them, I usually use these containers to store certain long lasting ingredients like lettuce and onions. When I looked in the container there was a whole dead toad in there, for some context on this when at my mums house my sister will go around and find toads, catch them, then freeze them so she can dissect them later. These toads are pests were I live so I didn't really care because she used an old freezer so the toads were never near any thing I ate,  I even helped her catch some once, but this dead frog is right next to a lot of meats, and even though the container is sealed these toads (cane toads) are very poisonous and it won't be fun if it gets into the food, I was going to chuck it out but surely other people have seen it and left it which probably means no one cares. Right now my sister is staying with my mum so I could chuck it out and nothing would happen until she got back, but when she did do you think people are more likely to side with me or my sister? It is unlikely it will affect anyone or anything so I might be an AH but I really don't like having dead toads near my food.","WIBTA for chucking out my sisters ""belongings""",NTA
10z6rbe,"Before I start, I would like to say that English is not my first language, so I apologize beforehand if there are any grammatical mistakes.My uncle (my mom's brother, who we will call Fred) was... not a nice person at all. He was by, far, one of the worst people to have ever walked on this earth. He was the devil incarnate. Because of the ""no violence"" rule, I can't go into details into why he is not a good person, but whatever you're imagining, it was 100 times worse.Fred never liked my mom and had no problem showing it while they were growing up (again, due to the ""no violence"" rule, I can't go into details), and their mother used to encourage his behavior. She lived a living hell because of him.Thankfully, she managed to get out of that place when she met and later married my dad. Because she is a big believer in giving people another chance, she held no ill will against him... until he tried to direct his behavior towards me. That was my mom's last straw and she got a restraing order against him.Fred ultimately passed away in 2018 to some brain tumor. My parents and I went to the funeral (I didn't wanna go, mainly because of his actions and because his funeral was on the day of the 2018 Soccer World Cup finale) and I was able to finally breathe knowing that he wasn't around anymore and I no longer had to live in fear 24/7 (again, I can't specify).This is where I might be the asshole: On Sunday, we had a family gathering at my parents' place and it was attended by my mom's sister (who is not a nice person at all too) and her children (my cousins). They knew Fred didn't like my mom, but they didn't care. And they also didn't know about his history with me. All of the suddent, my aunt started rambling about what a ""great person"" Fred was and how he was ""the nicest and kindest man ever"". Something inside me snapped and I raised my voice and told her she didn't know what the hell she was talking about and proceeded to tell her everything Fred put me and my mom through and ended my rant saying that I'm glad he's dead. My aunt and cousins gasped and asked if I meant it, and I said I did ""with all my heart"". They left soon after.While my mom feels that what I said is true, I should've kept my opinions to myself to keep the peace. My aunt and cousins have been constantly texting and calling me since, telling me what a horrible person I am and to ""not stain Fred's memory"".So Reddit, AITA? And I apologize for the big wall of text.",AITA for saying that I'm glad my uncle's dead?,NTA
10z8fat,"I bought my friend flights to Sydney, just for a weekend away as a Christmas present. The reason I picked Sydney was because we have good friends that live there and I knew that we could stay with them and I wouldn’t have to pay for accommodation. I was happy to pay for flights knowing this. My Sydney friends have now decided to live interstate and will therefore no longer be able to provide the free accommodation that I was relying on! Such is life and it was a random last minute decision for them to move but now I’m in a position to have to pay for accommodation as well as flights which is not in my budget right now. AITA if I ask my friend who I bought the flights for as a gift if he chips in for accommodation? I feel terrible but also I do a lot for this friend, and I always pay for our trips away and never ask him for money but I’m in a position where I can’t afford this at the moment. Will he find that rude considering the flights were a gift?",AITA for booking a weekend away as a gift for my friend and then asking for accommodation money?,NTA
10zfuo9,"I bought a brand new house in East Tampa (just north of Ybor City) back in 2019. My house was just being finished as the neighbor in question moved in. She (Erika) moved in directly next door and invites people to her house regularly to hang out on her front porch. There, she either blasts music from her bright colorful speaker, or has one of her guests blast music from one of their cars which obviously has giant subs in the trunk that rattles not only the busted car it sits in, but also the walls of every room of my house until as late as 3AM.I don't want to end up going viral for being a Karen about this, and I dont want to foul the friendly rapport I have with her. We're definitely not close friends, but we greet each other each time we see each other and we look out for each other (at least I try to).Why are people like this?",WIBTA - for walking next door and telling my neighbor to turn the music down during another one of her parties that last til 3AM randomly throughout the week?,NTA
10zce36,"I hired a company to repair the interior of my bedroom after a tree branch fell on my roof during a storm. The branch caused a leak that destroyed the attic space and ceiling in my primary bedroom. The ceiling and attic were tore out, lights, insulation, baseboards and crown molding were removed and mold remediation was performed.Last week I was finally able to hire a company to repair the bedroom. However after two days of work the contractor, Don, refused to paint the room even though ""paint all damaged areas"" was included in the proposal and I had discussed paint colors with him during the bid.Exact verbiage from proposal:DRYWALL REPAIR1.Provide and install new drywall on ceiling bedroom 176 sq. ft.2. Provide and install new drywall in damage area. ( Ceiling).3. Plaster patch and paint all damaged areas. Install baseboard and crown molding back in place. 4. Clean and haul away all debris. TOTAL $ 3,850.00He argued that painting the room wasn't included in the proposal because it's not damaged and wants another $450 to paint.Over the phone he wouldn't address any of the points I made and kept talking over me. I told him I felt he was taking advantage of me because I am woman and then he yelled at me. I yelled back and then hung up on him. He responded, via text, with ""...this is very rude, what you did right now , hang the phone on me , I am your contractor not your boyfriend, very very rude.""I then spoke to the owner, a woman. I thought she'd agree that her employee's behavior was exploitative and sexist but she agreed with him, painting wasn't in scope, but would discuss his behavior with him. I told her I didn't want to speak with or see Don at my house again. She offered to meet me at my house to approve the completed work. She came the same day, still sided with her contractor and then in what I interpreted as a misguided attempt to be nice told me I was ""probably being emotional because I just had a baby."" I was able to respond calmly with, ""I am not being emotional because I had a baby. I am being emotional because your employee disrespected me and I don't know why you'd employ a person like that as a woman."" I have screenshots of my conversation with Don, the proposal, photos of the initial damage, remediation work and final work including damaged walls, baseboards and crown molding. I wrote a Google review and included it. Then today I got another text from Don:""Hi good afternoonIt's so sad there's people like you , that writes bad reviews for no reason, because we didn't give you for free the painting job , maybe one day you'll have the money to aide another company to paint for you...""I blocked him at this point because he was still texting.AITA for thinking painting was included and further, for thinking I'm being treated poorly because I'm a woman?",AITA for thinking a contractor did me wrong because I'm a woman?,YTA
10z676y,"Okay so since I was young, my mom has always favored my other siblings- for example my parents wouldn’t go to my school or sporting events but always went to my siblings, I had to buy my own car/ school clothes/ sports gear etc but my siblings didn’t have to. So fast forward I’m an adult and have a family, married and own my home. I had a really toxic childhood which included my parents fighting a lot and just overall a negative household with name calling and arguing so I told myself I wouldn’t do that to my family/kids. So as an adult with children I’m quick to cut off communication with someone if name calling, poor behavior etc starts because I grew up around that and I don’t want my kids to think treating people poorly is okay or “normal”. I just give space and when time permits I try to reconcile and move forward but I don’t like arguing with people in the heat of the moment because I don’t feel it’s productive. Well my mom and brother are the opposite. They talk trash about everyone and my mom in particular seems to forget where she came from- she has nice things now but she didn’t always. And so she makes snide comments about my husband, about where I live and even about my daughter (she has autism and she thinks it’s “our fault” and constantly is trying to come up with ideas on how to make our daughter “normal”)- she also never sees her grandkids unless we ask to come over and see her.Now most recently my brother moved into our house and we had agreements for him moving in as we didn’t really want a roommate but since he’s family we agreed it was okay(my husband and I). My brother never paid rent and when he would get mad at us for just asking what he was up to he would go and trash talk us to my mom. Mind you my daughter has autism so we lock the doors with special locks at night so she can’t get out and you can’t unlock them from the outside. I finally was done being yelled at and name called so I said he could move out especially since we haven’t had rent paid to us since he moved in months ago. My mom (who mind you never wants to hear my side of the story) went on to tell me how I was being cruel and that my family doesn’t like me because of my “outburst”. I said if that’s how you all feel then you can F right off and not see my family again. She then said that she feels sorry for my husband and my kids that they have to “deal with me”. I just don’t feel like I should feel bad for not wanting to be treated poorly and called names, especially since this isn’t the first time. AITA for blocking my family and just calling it quits at least for a while? I know that yes kids need to have their family but I also don’t feel like I should be okay with being treated as just the black sheep of my family and be treated like garbage but idk.",AITA for telling my family to F off,NTA
10zf8bc,"I know the title is bad but let me explain. My mom is currently undergoing a divorce from my biological father (absolute asshole) and celebrated her birthday tonight with friends. Amongst these friends is “Brad”. “Brad” formerly worked for my biological father before and during the divorce process before getting fired by him. Brad clearly has a crush on my mother but she has swore up and down she’s not interested in him romantically In any sort of sense. She has also complained/ made fun on him in certain senses.  I want to preface this with that I don’t have any contact with my biological father and hate him more than a fish hates land. I came home from drinking tonight and found my mom passed out (drunk) on the couch with “Brad” borderline groping her and I against my better judgment told him to get his hands off my mother or I would “beat the fuck out of him” and quote. He definitely left since then as I had to disable the alarm but I’m left here wondering, am I the asshole? Or  simply drunken rage? This makes me upset because I just want us to be happy again and it really bothers me I reacted in this sort of way because I have tried so hard to better myself and I feel like I have stepped back as responsible adult",AITAH threatening my mothers friend?,NTA
10zg47h,"My roommate used to be some sort of executive or something in NYC, and now she works as a cashier at a religious store. She absolutely will not shut up about her job, and I do not care to hear about it because her voice is basically a trigger at this point. But she has obvious NPD and needs to talk about her day for whatever reason.Her thing is that she sees being a cashier as this super noble thing. And she will go into great detail about her day. Whether it be a customer complaining about her, or her bragging about how she arranged a place to stay at a shelter for a homeless man, I hear about everything. Which is amazing because she refuses to gossip about her coworkers, but she still finds some way to not shut up about work, and how her job helps the homeless, etc. Her company is also literally a cult, by the way.Today, it was about how a customer took offense to her saying black skin ages well and reported her to her boss. Which I get, because that is just an incredibly weird thing to talk about at work. And later in her day, a homeless man came in asking for help paying for a hotel room. She was able to get him approved for a bed at the rescue mission. I mean, good for her, but why brag about it?I interrupted her and told her that her complex was getting annoying. I explained that she views herself as this incredibly important person and a gift to the world, when literally all she does is push buttons on a touch screen and puts things in a bag. (She is kicking me out for a stupid reason and I legally have 30 days so I will enjoy spending this time clapping back at her.) She said, ""Not that you even want to get a job, but you absolutely would not last a day doing the work I do."" I pointed out she is kicking me out, so I have no idea how she expects me to get a job. She said, ""True. You just want everything handed to you for free."" I told her to quit talking to me, and she said, ""Oh so your boundaries matter and not mine."" And she promptly disconnected me from the wifi like a petty child. AITA?",AITA for telling my roommate that being a cashier does not make her a gift to the world?,YTA
10zc6fq,"  I (25 F) have always been the therapy friend. Normally it doesn’t bother me if people come and complain to me every once and a while, need to vent, or need advice. I’m happy to try and help others when they need it. However, lately it’s been harder and harder for me to do so. I’m getting burnt out being the therapy friend, where they dump all their trauma and complaints at my feet and just expect me to be constantly be mentally well enough to handle it. Along with juggling my own problems and mental health I’ve been diagnosed with.     Lately I have had an online friend, who is admittedly in a very horrible and rough spot in life. I’m not going to air out their life story but give the basic gist for anonymity sake. They took a job, working for free, as a free babysitter / live in nanny essentially because they were about to be homeless in a week and had nowhere else to go. It’s illegal to have an unpaid live in nanny situation where they are, but they have nowhere else to go and as a result have found themselves trapped in a chaotic household. Basically they clean the house and watch the kids for free and doesn’t get paid for anything. Then not be seen once not needed. And is now expected to somehow pay for all their own necessities with very little income (works a minimal hour part time job. Due to the live in situation can’t get more hours.) I was more than okay with them venting, but was also suggesting when they get a chance to get a therapist (which they have since). Now that they have a therapist and somebody to actively work with them to over come past trauma but is still using me as a therapy friend and it has been getting tiresome. Everyday it’s venting and complaining about the same thing. And I placed ground rules that they need to dial back on it because I mentally cannot handle them constantly complaining about the same thing ( their living condition ) when I am barely mentally staying afloat for me own reasons. Or at least ask me if I am mentally okay enough to even have this conversation in the first place. This will last for a week before it goes right back to the same thing of every day constantly venting. I can’t even have a normal conversation without it being redirected about them and their situation. Example I once got hurt at work and two minutes later then were talking about their living situation all over again , even though I was actively telling them about how I had gotten injured. I’m need to place better ground rules and try and reinforce them more. Even if they need reminders. Because I don’t want to blow up at them. Which I am close to doing because I’m getting more and more irritated as it feels like they aren’t respect my own boundaries and mental health. Would I be the asshole if I asked them to stop using me as a second source of therapy as a “therapy friend”. I’m fine with them mentioning once a week but every day is getting out of hand. Especially when it dominates the conversation constantly.",WIBTA For telling my friend to stop constantly talking to me about their living situation?,NTA
10zcyu0,"Just to complicate things a bit. we're both obviously in love with each other, but have reasons on both our ends to just stay platonic (nobody's cheating, just our own situations). So we just enjoy being best friends and giving each other a lot of positive attention.  I have told him a lot about my parents and he's very fascinated by my father. My father is the archetype of a certain profession that appears in a particular genre of movies that some people are extremely obsessed with. For someone who didn't grow up in America but did grow up on Hollywood movies, especially this genre, meeting someone like my dad would be a rare and fascinating thing.   There are two problems. For one thing, my dad is not friendly. He's extremely gruff, and asocial to the point of being quite rude. He just has zero interest in interacting with anyone besides our immediate family whatsoever, and sees no need to hide it. Interacting with him will not be any kind of gratifying experience.   Another thing is that both my parents grew up very poor, which triggered an extreme hoarding disorder in my mother, so even though my dad has done well for himself, the way they live is honestly disgusting. They also don't like spending money on upkeep so they've let a really nice house go completely to shit. I know that my friend would be appalled and disgusted by this, and think a lot less of my parents. He's extremely conscientious and takes very careful care of everything he has.   My friend keeps asking when he will meet my dad and I keep saying whenever you want, knowing that I will never introduce them. I just don't want to explain these issues to my friend and make my dad seem lesser, but saying you'll never meet my dad just seems so harsh and rejecting, when it's not about my friend at all.",AITA for leading my best friend to believe he will one day meet my father when I have zero intention of introducing them?,NTA
10zdsla,"Let me start out by saying, he completely is. This guy is literal human scum. My (28F) best friend (28F) has been with this guy (31M) for about two and a half years. He’s cheated on her with at least three different women last year. He had two one night stands and he paid a masseuse to give him a  **** job.  Here we go! He asked her dad for her hand in marriage, and then a few weeks later had sex with a girl (“Girl A”) that he just met at a bar. My friend saw Girl A’s name on his phone, confronted him on it, and he got mad at her for going through his phone & called her jealous.  Girl A found out via social media that he had a girlfriend. She messaged my friend and profusely apologized.  Girl A told her that they had sex in his car and he wanted to do it again. Girl A blocked him since she found out he wasn’t single like he had told her.  Girl A was starting to really like him and we honestly felt bad for her because she was lied to as well.My friend confronted him on this, and he confessed but swore she was the only one. They went on a break for a month or so because he want sure if he wanted a relationship so he could work on himself. They still live together mind you. They got back together, and she saw an unfamiliar name on his “list”. He keeps a list of the 130+ women he’s had sex with. It turns out that he did sleep with an additional girl (“Girl B”) prior to Girl A. He wasn’t planning on telling her, of course, but the list doesn’t lie.He fessed up to the masseuse on his own, so I guess I’ll give him an honesty credit for that one.In general, he’s just a very mean person to her and a lot of us, but that’s a separate issue. Anyways. I’m the only person she told and will ever tell about this. I sat her down and said that on behalf of everyone who loves her that she deserves better than this guy. That he’s a liar and a cheater. I asked her if her family would honestly want her with a guy like him (no I haven’t told them). I said that if it was my daughter I would want someone to say something. She feels that he has changed because he got on anti depressants and has gotten “help for his problems”.  She really feels like he won’t cheat anymore and that it’s no one else’s business. She told me she will always love me and this won’t come between our friendship. They’ve since gotten engaged. She and I still talk, but it’s not the same. I haven’t seen her since (it’s been almost two months). She’s one of my best friends, and I think our relationship is majorly damaged. Was I in the wrong for saying something? Did I overstep?",AITA for telling my friend her boyfriend is a liar and a cheater?,NTA
10zc2u6,"I have a dog that I consider to be a part of my family. He's been with me for years and brings me joy every day. My in-laws, who are wealthy circus owners, have offered to take my dog for a year to train him to be a performing dog in their circus.My partner, who has always been supportive of my love for my dog, is now requesting that I comply with my in-laws' offer and give up my dog for the year. They believe that it's an amazing opportunity for my dog and a great way to impress the in-laws.I can't bear the thought of giving up my dog, even for a year, to be trained and perform in a circus. I feel like I would be exploiting and endangering my dog for entertainment purposes.Is it wrong for me to refuse to give up my dog to a circus? AITA for valuing my pet's well-being and dignity over impressing my in-laws and fulfilling my partner's desires? This is an absurd and uncomfortable situation, and I'm not sure what to do, but I do know that I can't give up my dog to a circus.",AITA for Refusing to Give Up My Dog to a Circus?,NTA
10zfio1,"I (18F) joined an interschool japanese dance competition with two of my bfs. Teacher in charge was stereotypical and arguing with her didn't work so we just went along with her horrible ideas. It was a 3 mins dance and no one would know us anyway (we were going to another school to perform).   When we recieved our costumes, I noticed it was tighter than the others. I'm bigger than most other girls (not overweight or anything. I'm just built like a fridge and am a few inches above most girls). The real issue were my breasts though. My mom keeps pointing it out and that has made me insecure.   I talked to the teacher about this and she told me to deal with it. She couldn't do anything now. There was a week left to the performance. The robe accentuated my breasts even more (which wouldn't be a problem if it was my size). Teacher basically said in subtle words that it's my fault for not being the average size as all other girls. And that I'd get the most attention anyway.  I didn't want to jeopardize my friends by pulling out at the last moment so I sucked it up, joined the performance and went to the toilet to cry after it was all over. No one ever talked about it to me because I hated every second of it and wanted no memory of it.  This is where the actual conflict begins. Few months after the performance, teacher gathered us again and said she wanted us to perform the same dance on the annual day. No one was excited but they all agreed. But I flat out refused. I wasn't going to put myself in that position again, especially when my mom would be watching.   Teacher then threatened to reduce my points but I didn't care. They replaced me with another girl but she got affected by chicken pox three days prior to the show.   Teacher told me about this as I was the only one who knew all the steps. She, along with the others (including my best friends), expected me to feel bad and volunteer. Though I sympathized with their situation, I refused to help them.  Everyone was mad at me but I thought they weren't expecting me to help anymore. Turns out I was wrong as my teacher then asked me to just come on the annual day and to bring my costume so that they could give it to another person who would perform in my stead. But I knew she would've just bullied me into performing as it'd be harder to say no in person.  I didn't show up. I slept all day and woke up to angry texts. I told them it was their fault to assume I'd be a pushover. I never committed to anything.   Now they're calling me a selfish asshole and that I should atleast apologise for not informing them that I'm not going to show up. I told them they had 3 days to prepare someone else or remove the person without a pair to make the dance look decent and not awkward.   Instead, they relied on me knowing that I had already said no multiple times. I'm rethinking my decision because even my bfs think I'm an asshole for ""ruining"" their performance and being inflexible with my boundaries.  So, AITA for ruining their performance?",AITA for ruining my friends' performance?,NTA
10zcchn,"Im 25M and my ex ""Connor"" (26M) were together 2 years and it was the best time of my life honestly it felt like the world was perfect but like all good things it came to an end. My sister ""Eliza"" has autism and really stays to herself and doesn't like to hugged and generally yells when she gets gets hugged. Eliza adored Connor and didn't scream when he hugged her and would ask him to read her stories Eliza one than more occasion called him her best friend. My mother even bought them matching pajamas my friend called it creepy and kept telling me Eliza was moving in on him I didn't believe it I trusted him but then I just let them get to me to a point where I believed it and I ended it. My mother never let me hear the end of it and my family was so mad because they loved Connor but I made up my mind. About 3 weeks ago I went home to visit my mom and dad and we had dinner and Eliza said I miss connor and I snapped and said you're the reason he's gone and Eliza left the table went inside her  room and shut the door my parents told me to leave I was bombarded with text from my cousins and aunts and uncles calling me all types of names I feel bad but I don't think I did anything wrong.",AITA for what I said to my sibling?,YTA
10zfbmm,"I (35M) have a brother in law (32M) for whom I'm paying to attend college for the last 1.5 years. The deal is that as long as he passes each of his classes, I'll continue to pay for the next semester. I didn't care about his major because that's ultimately his choice in what he wants to do with his life, but I wanted him to get his general studies out of the way until he figures out what he wants his major to be, because I'm only paying upto him getting his masters.Today we had a small get together for game night at our place and he announced he's going to be a scientist. Being curious, I asked what branch of science he's pursuing. He boldly and proudly claimed ""Astrology"" and I immediately burst out laughing, telling him that won't make him a scientist. My wife (36F) called the evening to a close and once everyone left, blew up at me for being disrespectful to my BIL.I told her that as an actual student of science (Masters in Organic Chemistry), I don't appreciate pursuit of hokum while claiming to pursue being a scientist. She made the point that by saying something like what I did, could dissuade him from his chosen path. I argued that if he chose that route, then more power to him and he should remain steadfast to it, but to be realistic about what is actually is, and it most certainly is not science.So am I an asshole for telling my BIL that studying astrology won't make him a scientist.Edit: It's Astrology for sure, not Astronomy. Wife confirmed that with BIL prior to him leaving.Also, I haven't been paying for Astrology classes. He's working through getting his associates.",AITA for telling my BIL he's not going to be real Scientist?,NTA
10zc63h,"I'm currently pregnant and have a 1 year old at home with me. I have had a horrible tooth ache for the past 3 days, I have an appointment for Sunday to get the pain resolved. My partner has been working all week and usually comes home right away. Today he needed a extra worker so he picked up a family member and was supposed to finish at 3:30pm. I was trying to call to get in contact with him from the time he finished to see when he would be arriving home. He only just contacted me at 5:20pm to say he was at that said family members house and that he did finish at 3:30. I completely blew him up asking why on earth he thinks it's appropriate to not contact me to let me know when I'm home with a baby and struggling to focus properly due to the pain I'm experiencing in my teeth. He told me I was over reacting and that 2 hours isn't a long time and he will be home shortly AITA here?Edit: he was aware of the pain I was experiencing since I was up all night in pain and I did ask him before he started to work to come home. He was only at saids family members house to smoke and top up his weed supply as he regularly goes there to buy his supply.",AITA for expecting my partner to come home asap from work today?,NTA
10z6s3q,"My dad got me a dog when I was 7 and he told me I would be responsible for her. I grew up with her and I loved her very much. She used to sleep with me etc. When I graduated from high school (16yo) I moved to Japan to try to have a better life and I’ve been here since then (24yo now) and I had to leave her with my dad. We found out she had cancer during covid (beginning of 2021 I think) and he paid for her treatments. She passed away a few months later (Aug 2021). During covid I lost my job and I couldn’t find jobs because I work in the customer service industry and restaurants and bars weren’t hiring, they were actually firing people. I had no job for a year and had to use all my savings which I was saving to start uni since my parents would never help me pay for it. Every time we talk my dad keeps telling me that I have to pay him back all the money he spent with my dog because the dog is mine because he gave me the dog. If I had money I would pay him back but I have none and it’s not like he needs it right now. He has his own house, own car, he works, his wife also works. I’m working at 2 low paying jobs, can’t find anything better, barely pay all my bills. I could try to save and pay him back but it’s a lot of money and would take me years but I wouldn’t be able to pay for uni which I have to pay all by myself.I talked to a few friends and they told me that the dog isn’t fully my responsibility because he, as an adult, wanted to get a dog and got one when I was 7.So, AITA for not paying back my dad for my dog’s cancer treatment?Add: He started the treatment. I only found out she had cancer a month after the diagnosis. Payment was never discussed until a few weeks after she passed away",AITA for not paying back my dad for my dog’s cancer treatment?,NTA
10z98ul,"I (26F) and my sister (32F) have never had a close relationship and recently got into a huge fight because of me coming out of the closet and having a girlfriend. She is against it and basically very embarrassed because she thinks I’m bringing my family’s name to ruin by this (I’m from latin america and everyone’s usually very close minded).She has the cutest 2 year old and even if I’m not big on kids I like spending time with him. She has been trying to get everyone against me saying that I’m a terrible person for not making visits to play with him or asking her about him every time he gets a cold or something. To be honest after how she treated me when she found out that I was gay, outed me with my other sister (32F, her twin) and almost forced me to come out with my parents threatening me to tell them herself, I just want nothing to do with her. She is going insane about me not commenting on every picture she posts of her child on instagram or not posting it myself, not answering the family group chat when they talk about him (I receive like 20+ pictures daily of him there) and avoiding gatherings where she is going. So AITA for being completely indifferent to my sister and therefore her child?",AITA for not visiting my nephew,NTA
10zf35f,"I am a white American which is what I identify as. I always knew that a couple of my long-deceased ancestors were from Puerto Rico. After delving into genealogy more and linking up with distant relatives who have done a lot of research, I learned that branch of the family has records going back to the 1600's in Puerto Rico. Almost all Puerto Ricans have some native American ancestry. DNA tests show 2% Taino ancestry for my parent, 1% for me.I don't go around identifying as native American or flaunting it up like that's my new identity. However, this 1% is something I am extremely proud of. The Spanish invaders (which I am also descended from) believed they had completely wiped out the Taino people and declared their genocide a success over 400 years ago.I think it's really fucking something that they are still sending their DNA into the future, 4 centuries later after everything they went through. Millions of people still carry their DNA. And I am really proud to carry 1% of their DNA forward in every cell of my body. Feels like a victory over something so brutal and evil.However, I was told by someone who (incidentally) is not native American, or Puerto Rican, or any other form of indigenous OR Latino, that this is cringey and wrong and I should shut up about it and not try to claim native American ancestry. So I want to know am I the asshole. I'm not claiming to be a native American person or take on any native American culture. I'm simply proud of having some of the DNA. I don't see why I should deny any of the ancestors or cultures I'm descended from.",AITA for being extremely proud of being 1% Native American?,YTA
10zghxr,When my fiancé went into labour we rushed her to the hospital and when she was being taken in I was told to wait outside and then was told to go home as they thought the birth was going to take hours it ended up only taking minutes. I was not covid positive neither was my fiancé I was then called back for the birth and missed it on the way there. The first time I saw my daughter was on a phone screen and I was only able to communicate with my fiancé through text for the hours that she was in labour I regret just refusing not to leave my fiancés side. I feel like a failure. My cousin refused to leave his girlfriends side recently and was present throughout the whole birth process. This is something I will never get to experience and that eats me up inside making me depressed. I know my daughter is here now and I love her more than anything I just wish I could have been there to support my fiancé and be present for the birth. 🥲Edit: for context I was not able to be by her side due to covid 19 restrictions the hospital still had in place in early 2022,AITA for going home during the birth of our first born daughter,NTA
10zb0nk,"Hi,My mother has been trying to be apart of my life 9 years after leaving it.To make a long story of what initially started this all as short as possible she came down one weekend to visit my grandparents and asked that I come see them. The first night of that weekend before I even got to see them first I was driving home at 8PM from the beach (we only lived an hour away) and she didn't like this so the only acceptable punishment in her opinion was to sell my truck, cut me from her cellphone plan. I had some upgrades on the truck they said they would reimburse me for. They only sent me $700/$1600 and said I was lucky to get that. For the next few months she began trash talking me and my fathers side of the family all over Facebook. Making up stories about how I cursed her out and trashed the truck before giving it back and my father supported it and also cursed her out. We live in a small town so all of my friend's parents' believed everything immediately and would make comments to me about it taking her side without even hearing my side of things and just treat me completely different after. This and other family issues made me to become very depressed for about 5 years and completely ruined my mental health.Few years later I am working 40+ hour weeks as a server to pay for college and other bills. I wasn't making the greatest grades due to working all the time but I did what had to be done at the time. One day my grandparents contacted me about a full ride scholarship through my moms company. I applied thinking I would not get it due to my GPA, but I did and every semester after that I made deans/presidents list each time and improved my GPA tremendously. I unblocked my mom and allowed casual conversations for the past 2 or so years after getting the scholarship. She's is starting to reach out to me more and more even though I hardly put effort into keeping a conversation going. She has even begun reaching out to my girlfriend on Facebook and sharing baby photos of me and asking for her number. During this time she also begun sending overly expensive gifts birthdays/holidays to me and my girlfriend, which she yet to even met. She is trying her hardest to reform a relationship that to me is just lost. I have lost all desire to respect her as my mother or even treat her as so after the pain she has caused me and my family.This May I graduate and I have told my family that I have no intentions of inviting her and they think that I am being selfish and stubborn. That I should invite her because she helped me get the scholarship. I will admit that it has been a tremendous help to me and I don't think I would have done so well in school without it. Am I the Asshole for not just letting go of the past and accepting all of her efforts?",AITA for not being so accepting of my biological mothers efforts to come back in my life and not wanting to invite her to my graduation even after she helped me receive a full ride scholarship?,NTA
10zgc3k,"So I moved in with my boyfriend a month ago. I met his aunt on her birthday and have heard many things about her. I am not one to judge someone till I know them. His grandparents have been sick so I offered my number to them if they needed help or anything. His aunt we will call her Tina. Tina called and found out that they had my number and she lost it. She thought there was no reason for them to have my number for any emergency. A day or two later his grandpa went to the hospital. We decided to go visit with his mom and dad. He was the only one aloud in the  room so the rest of us stayed in the coffee shop. A little while later Tina showed up and made a comment about his moms outfit. There was nothing wrong with it. Today we went back to visit and once again Tina made a comment about us being there. Tina found out I was living with him and she said it was sinful because we aren’t married. We brushed it off like nothing but Tina being Tina she wasn’t done. His grandma asked me to help her get downstairs so I did Tina congratulated me on my new job then immediately said you know that’s a man’s job right not a women’s and that’s when I finally said you know what Tina I have worked hard and wanted this job with every ounce of my heart, maybe you should think before you speak or just mind your own business because you don’t know me. I know she has a problem with me but all I’ve done is be respectful to her.AITA for speaking up?",AITA for telling my boyfriends at to mind her business?,NTA
10z8tdj,"I drove 1 hour with my husband to our daughters indoor track meet. It was our first time at this college and finding the location was bit tricky as it’s dark and a large campus. Finally we found it and I parked the car. Husband was being snarky while I was driving on campus (you’re hitting brakes too much you’re braking for no one etc etc) so I could tell he was in a bad mood. After I turned off car husband got out but I didn’t. I checked life360 to double check we were at right place using daughters location, I put my glasses away and into my purse and I rearranged my wallet. Entire process took less than 60 sec. Husband got back into car and was clearly annoyed with me. I said “ready?” when I was done and he replies with a sarcastic “oh you’re waiting for me? Guess it’s time to go now.”  I told him those sarcastic comments are mean and hurtful and make it hard for me to spend time with him. His reasoning is that I am selfish for making him wait for me while I gathered my things together. I told him he didn’t need to wait he could have just walked in. We weren’t in any rush and after 1.5 hours here still haven’t seen my daughter do her events. I say he’s the asshole for being rude and sarcastic and telling me I’m selfish for taking 1 minute to get out of the car. He says I am the asshole for not rushing out of the car at once and making him wait for me.So Reddit, AITA?Edited to add: “rearranging my wallet” meant putting cash and atm card in right place. I got cash on the way and couldn’t do this while driving.",AITA for taking 60 seconds to get out of the car?,NTA
10zcbt4,"EDIT: I'm not gonna talk to the boss. It was silly to even consider the thought!For context, I (27F) used to work with my husband ""David"" (28M) under the same boss and had a good acquaintanceship with him before I switched jobs. David is a seafood department specialist in a grocery store and has three higher ups: the meat/seafood department manager, the salaried fresh manager, and the store manager. However, the first two don't do jack squat to help him when he needs it. I've experienced it firsthand, and David complains about it at home. The only reliable one is the store manager (Boss) who is both an incredible person and incredibly busy. David has a very good working relationship with him.The problem lies within the seafood department. It has three total employees who have to cover all seven days of the week. This means all three of them work on their own 90% of the time.Well, one of the other two seafood employees took an extended leave of absence for a valid reason. Unfortunately, this took a huge toll on David as he had to pick up the slack. This hole in the department also showed David that the third working employee is not good at his job. Which means David is one man trying his hardest to work three jobs.This has made David start burning the candle at both ends. Recently, it has seemed like he even snapped the candle in half and is now burning it on all four ends. It's really hurting him because he works way too hard and has set impossibly high standards for himself. If the department doesn't look like it would if he had a full crew, he believes he has failed despite Boss telling him that it doesn't need to be perfect.David has asked for help before, several times. Department manager and fresh manager make excuses, and Boss is actively working on trying to hire someone else to relieve the strain. But it's been a month with no change in sight. I've asked David if he's asked Boss about getting dept manager and fresh manager to do their jobs and help, but he hasn't. I get the feeling he is far too proud to reach out like that. But I am worried. I really haven't seen David smile for the last month. He comes home obviously exhausted and burned out. He dreads going to work and is calling me several times through the day (when he knows I'm available) to try to help get him through his shift. It kills me inside to see him like this and not able to help, especially when he used to love his job. I want to go in and talk to Boss and try to come up with other options for immediate relief for David. To ask for help for him. And maybe ask Boss to tell the other two managers to get off their butts and help when they're supposed to (in a more professional way obviously). Or see if someone can be transfered to seafood temporarily. I don't know... just something so that David can stop being so incredibly stressed. Because he is drowning.WIBTA?",WIBTA if I talked to my husband's boss for him?,YWBTA
10zfbop,"My bday was coming up and I had shown great interest in a piece of electronic equipment. It costs about $200. I got my girlfriend a gift of $270 for Christmas. My girlfriend told me not to buy myself anything before my bday. She told me that about 7 weeks before. She told me several times. One day we talked about our history of giving and receiving presents. We talked a lot and in the middle, she asked ""what if you got something you already have"" I said it depends on the thing, with some things I'd be super happy that now I have two.Then I went and bought that thing for myself. She didn't find out but she took notice of the effects of said thing. But she never found out it was because of that. I'd use it for work. I hid that I bought it.Then when I actually got her present, she got me a variant of the thing I bought. When I opened it my heart sank. And my reaction wasn't what she expected I guess. She got me several other things from her but that was the main thing. But my reaction said it all. I can't remember exactly how it unfolded because I was in slight shock. And I told her very calmly but reluctantly ""remember the thing I told you about getting two things and being super happy"" and then at that moment she knew. And she was furious and left. I tried contacting her but she wouldn't answer and then eventually she did and was so angry. By then I had already compared the two. I got mine because it had a very specific gizmo for my work, but hers was had a much simpler interface so it was less exhausting to use for long periods. and I told her both had different strengths, so I could make good use of both of them. And I meant it but she didn't believe it. I told her a way in which hers was superior but when I also mentioned how mine was superior she got even more frustrated. I'll be honest if I had gotten hers, I probably still would've gotten the one I got. And if I didn't get hers, I'd be frustrated over how exhausting using mine is.",AITA for getting myself this?,YTA
10zh30h," At the beginning of the week, the English teacher got upset because we interact (answering her questions or asking questions) with little to nothing during class, and when she asked why we don't interact no one answered. The next day she gave us a pop quiz where she asked us to say what we think a discussion is, why it is important to have them, and why people don't participate in themToday she listed on the board the most common answers we wrote down. After some discussion, she asked me why I don't interact during class, and I responded by saying that English is not something I am interested in. Then she asked me if there is any way English could interest me, and I said no.She was offended by my response and called my parents. My parents told me that I was wrong and that I should apologize for my rude response, saying that I had insulted and despised her work.I don't understand why I have to apologize, I didn't offend her personally, I just answered the question she asked me truthfully. I sincerely regret that she was offended but I don't understand why I have to apologize if she is offended by the facts of the matter.​P.S. even though English is not an interest of mine I know very well how important it is. I still listen during class, do my assigned homework, and study.",AITA for answering to my teacher truthfully?,NTA
10zc5rp,"I was playing drawing and guessing pictionary game the other day with my friends. I got the word ""Skin"" and tried my best to draw a human figure which happens to have a lighter skin tone. I also added lots of arrows to points to various parts of the human figure to indicate that it's not just a specific body part, like a hand or a foot. At the end, one of them called me being ""extremely racist"" as there exists many other types of skin tones and I should be more inclusive.I was very embarrassed and said I will be more careful in the future. But later, I thought to myself, since the choice of the lighter skin tone was not really intentional, should I really get called out for being racist?If that matters, I do have a lighter skin tone myself.So, am I the asshole for being racist?",AITA for only drawing one kind of skin color in scribble?,NTA
10zeu6e,"My long distant bf(now husband we’ll call H) was best friends with his roommate in college(J). Although J had different beliefs/morals we all got along and enjoyed each others company (when they came to my home town to visit).His roommate eventually got a girlfriend(K) but I soon found out that she was different and did things I thought were weird. Like once she, J, and H all went and got lunch together. But she posted a picture of my boyfriend on her SC saying “we got Mr. H to come out.” I thought it was weird that she’d post my bf on her story but not her bf. I let H know I thought it was weird and he agreed but we dropped it because it never happened again.Well H & myself had been together for a few years, and J & K had been together for a about a year. So I decided to invite them down and host a game night. I & H, J & K all sat down at a table. I finally got to sit down and talk to my boyfriend whom I rarely get to see. K was interrupting our convo and when H wouldn’t look at her she grabbed(not poked) his arm to get his attention. For at least 5 seconds which I think is WAY longer than necessary to get someone’s attention. And she knew by the look I gave her it was not okay.It did not help that I was already upset because I heard HER not J making plans to get together and go do something. As a group knowing I couldn’t come because I lived 2+ hrs away.Later that night my bf apologized and didn’t know why she touched him because she’s never done anything like that.So we put the water under the bridge until she did what I think is completely inappropriate. While her bf(J) was away she went to my bf’s(and j) apartment. When H opened the door to see who was knocking she let herself in and brought him her leftovers from a sandwich she had gotten. He messaged me after she left because he thought it was funny until he realized how upset I was(and he admitted he would have had the same reaction if it were reversed).From that point on I was completely uncomfortable with him being around her. So he started avoiding her as much as he could. K then asked J why H wouldn’t hang out anymore when she was around(why do you care if you’re there to see J?)So about a year passes and H & I get engaged. J was the best man and asked if K could come.I said I didn’t care because it was our day and she couldn’t ruin it just by being there. Well now nearly two years later he told me he wasn’t comfortable with her being there and said it’d probably be best if she didn’t attend.Not long after we got married they got engaged. She blocked me(not H)from everything so it was actually my BIL who told us they got engaged. According to social media they’ll be getting married august 2024 and J hasnt mentioned anything to my husband about it and he feels like what little communication J has with him is just to keep face.I feel like I’m the reason reason J keeps blowing off H when J always tells them they can hangout when he’s(J) back in town from law school(he never tells H when he’s in).Although H and I set and agreed on boundaries regarding K. Am I the butt hole?","WIBTAH? My husband and best friend from college are barely acquaintances now, and I feel responsible.",NTA
10zgtgs,"My friend had texted me earlier tonight and it seemed she kinda got into some bad argument with her mom. When I asked her what happened she didn’t tell me any details and just said “idk.” So I really didn’t know what had gone down between them other than had to have been pretty badShe later texts me asking if I finished a homework assignment due that tonight and I told her no, but that’ll I start it now. I start doing it and then she texts me a couple of times if I’m finished. I told her no each time. The last time she texted, she asked me if could send what I had done. I told her I had one more question left and that I’ll finish it and then send it. She then keeps texting me and I tell her to stop and wait cause I couldn’t focus. She then says something like “dude what the fuck, just answer my question.” I’m always sending her my homework when she asks too. So I got really annoyed and I snapped and told her how I find it funny that she felt so entitled to my homework that instead of doing it herself, she spent the past hour asking if I finished and rushing me. I then follow that up by saying she can figure the homework out for herself cause I’m not sending it anymore once I’m done. I usually just let people just walk all over me so I felt proud at first. But then she then responds back saying how she had been on a phone call with her dad telling him how she can’t live in the same house as her mom and then sarcastically tells me thanks for the help. I didn’t know that cause she didn’t tell me until after I snapped. I sent her the homework a couple minutes after cause I get bad. So now I feel bad and wonder if should’ve been more aware of the given situation since she had briefly mentioned to me earlier about her and her mom getting into some really bad argument or if I was justified in how I felt since I didn’t know she was having a serious talk with her dad.I know this whole situation sounds silly and dumb and just bad communication, but was what i did wrong regardless and I should just apologize?",AITA for snapping at my friend,NTA
10z5sgu,"My(15F) aunt (58F) always wants me to stay at her house for girls nights, I used to stay there a lot but as of recently do not want to attend as she has a severe drinking problem and tends to get argumentative and harasses everybody in the house when she is intoxicated. The last time I stayed over was last Halloween all my cousins were there and were all fairly tipsy but my aunt was totally drunk (this was at about midnight) I was tired of my families drunken antics and decided to go to bed which everyone was fine with apart from my aunt who decided to start going off on me and was saying that she was going to throw me out and that I could sleep outside if I was going to be rude in her house I was horrified as my family who are all adults just stood there and let her speak to me like that so I shouted at her saying that I'd rather sleep outside than be in the house with her and that I wouldn't be staying over there again if she kept acting like this as it wasn't a good look on her and went to bed. Shortly after my eldest cousin who wasn't as drunk convinced everybody to go to bed to try and sleep of their hangovers, they surprisingly complied and that was that. In the morning my aunt couldn't remember any of it and I didn't bring it up, my eldest cousin kept giving me knowing glances suggesting she was the only one who remembered the events of the night before. When I went home I told my parents what had happened the previous night and they thought I did the right thing standing up for myself. I refused to go over to my aunts on boxing day as i didn't want the argument to be brought up. The first time I seen her since Halloween was last week she was very distant from me and I to her as I didn't wish to speak to her after the tried to make a fool out of me. I think my eldest cousin told her what had happened that night after I left the following morning and that is why we hadn't spoken. I don't intend on speaking to her unless I have to anymore as her drunk behaviour ruined a perfectly good relation ship. This isn't the first time she has started an argument with a family member but I'm the only one who has stuck up for themselves. I want to say that I am not an argumentative person but I think she went too far and I felt like I had to say something because I wasn't going to be treated like that by someone who I thought was a close relativeSo AITA for confronting her",AITA For not wanting to stay at my aunts,NTA
10z7qn8,"So my fiancé and I have been planning our wedding for over a year now, and we decided we didn’t want our wedding to have a ton of kids in attendance because we are having an open bar. We haven’t openly said “no kids,” but we let each guest know the number of people they could bring by saying “____ seats reserved in your honor.” I have two bridesmaids coming in from halfway across the country and their personal lives have situations going on where leaving their kids at home is not an option. One is a single mom with very little family and the other doesn’t have a great home life. I’ve known them for 20 years, and I don’t want a wedding without them. We also have a flower girl. All kids will be going home early, after dinner, which will be held right after the ceremony (we’re doing a first look for photos to get that out of the way). We’ve discussed that with their parents already. My fiancé has a BIG family, and had to invite a lot of people because of it. Also, pretty much all of our friends are already married, so virtually everyone has to have a plus one. Right now, our guest count is sitting at 10 people over the limit we set. However, if someone’s SO wasn’t able to come, and they wanted to bring a kid as their guest, we’d be perfectly fine with that. In total, we’re paying about $20,000 for the wedding, but we’ve paid for it ourselves because we didn’t want to burden our families with it. We believe in paying for things on our own without any help, unless it’s a really extreme circumstance. Yes, we’ve chosen to pay this amount and yes, we could have paid less, but both of us had terrible first marriages without an actual wedding, so we decided to have a big celebration since we’re not doing this a third time. We do have a lot of friends who have kids, so my fiancé is concerned that people will show up and be upset that some kids got to come but not theirs. I absolutely see his point, and I suggested being transparent with people about why we’re limiting guests if they ask, as well as explains why there will be a few kids there. He thinks it should be all kids or no kids. I still stand by my point of why two of my bridesmaids have to bring their kids.From a financial perspective, we’re paying about 125 bucks a person. some of our friends have four kids or more, and allowing everyone to bring all their kids would up the count (probably at least 40 to 50) and the money we have to pay drastically. I’m thinking from a financial perspective but also trying to be fair and am happy to explain why there are a few kids to others if they ask. I think my fiancé is trying to be fair but also make everyone happy. We seem to be at a bit of an impasse. AITA for not letting everyone bring all their kids to our wedding?",AITA for not allowing all wedding guests to bring as many kids as they want?,NTA
10z5i4x,"I’ll keep it short. I (27f) live with another f (30) and two guys (36 & 37). Me and the other girl are single, the two guys are in relationships. We all get on really well but things have always been very platonic. No sexual vibes etc. So just before Christmas the older guy, I’ll call him Tom, started seeing a girl, I’ll call her Jane. She has just got out of a marriage, as in got married in Feb 2022, and filed for divorce in October 2022. Since I’ve known Tom (he moved in in Oct), he’s seemed like one of those guys whose end goals is to be in a relationship, and from mutual friends, is a very codependent person and hates being on his own. So Tom and Jane started dating in Nov, she’s living with her parents and house hunting, but unless he is with her, he just stays in his room and makes zero effort, before he would eat with the rest of us, watch movies, go for drinks etc, but now we never see him. Not even because he’s out, but because if he’s not with Jane he is just in his room, eating or gaming. He works from home so is rarely out of the apartment. Recently Jane has started coming over more and more, this week she has been over 6 nights. It’s a small apt, one bathroom etc, and it feels like she’s encroaching. She also seems to have shoes made out of lead as she is so heavy footed it’s ridiculous. So…. AITA for wanting to say something (5 nights is a lot and not unusual for her, they’ve been dating three months…) even though she clearly makes him happy she’s also constantly is his room, so unless passing in the corridor and hearing them talking it’s not a big deal.EDIT: Didn’t mention that the other guy who is also in a relationship splits his time between his partner being here and him being at his partners. E.g he’ll be away 3 nights, and then they’ll both be here 3 nights. They have also been together 4 years.",AITA for wanting to tell my flatmate his girlfriend shouldn’t be here 5 nights a week?,NTA
10zckx9,"Hey everyone- first and foremost, I (32M) have not brought this up with my partner Fiona (27F) yet. My partner and I are married, and have been together for 4 years. She has expressed at times that she is bi-sexual, and other times saying that she’s not, but falls somewhere on a sliding scale of queer sexuality. I’m happy that she’s so open and honest about her sexuality, as I am a little queer as well.She has a good friend Chelsea, who has not identified as queer and is in a straight relationship for 7+ years. Chelsea appears and dresses very masc and has alluded to being queer without explicitly saying so (my partner has told me this on a few different occasions)Chelsea has a partner, Nick, and we usually all hang out together in group settings. In group settings, Chelsea and Fiona often seek one another and cuddle up on the couch. There have been a few times we have been together in a party setting, where I’ll notice Chelsea’s body language and sometimes Fiona’s as they lean into one another with their heads rested against the back of the chair. Fiona and Chelsea share the same mental illness (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) and often bond over that- they talk daily, and go for walks weekly.I notice Chelsea getting uncomfortably close with Fiona at times, and Chelsea’s eyes gravitate towards Fiona’s lips or her lower face during moments of laughter or giggling, much like how a kiss might transpire on a couch. I’m worried to bring this up to Fiona as I don’t want to come across as crazy or insecure. But their closeness genuinely makes me uncomfortable at times and I don’t want to be an asshole about it.Is there a good way to bring this up without looking like an asshole?Edit: Chelsea has NOT identified as queer outright",AITA for feeling threatened by my partner’s bi-sexual friend?,NAH
10ze50n,"So my friend can be a little oblivious( let’s call her Mindy) and I usually don’t let it bug me, but this time it went to far. There’s this guy I’m good friends with (let’s call him mark) who my friends think likes me (I don’t like him). Mindy goes up to mark and asks him do you like random-human-1 and he just kind of stutters and changes the subject (I’m not here for this but that’s what she said happened). I here about this from my other friend (let’s call her Ellie) so I go and confront Mindy and she rolls her eyes and says its not a big deal in a sarcastic tone. I’m a little annoyed now so I tell her she shouldn’t have done that without my permission and she just rollers her eyes and says I’m being dramatic. Me and Ellie leave and are talking about how rude Mindy was when Mindy comes up and says something like “I guess I should say sorry please don’t cause drama let’s just forget about this” in a annoyed tone. I say fine I guess and then I talk a little more with Ellie. Later Mindy notices that I’m being weird around her and flips out. She says that I’m triggering her insecurity about how her words affect others and that I’m making a huge deal about nothing. Most of our friends are on my side but I’m wondering if this is all my fault.",AITAH for not forgiving my friend,NTA
10zfqsl,"Howdy, this stories a bit long so bear w me….. Around September of last year I had plans to leave for army basic training. My ship out date was rapidly approaching and I begun having second thoughts about the whole thing. I called my grandfather who I had always looked up too from when I was young who also just so happened to be an army vet. I told him about what I was thinking and he invited me over to his house for dinner. Over the phone he briefly explained about how he thought the whole army thing was a bad idea for me personally. I made it to his house and we talked. I explained my many reasons for joining in which he believed were not very smart and told me I should only join for the soul factor of serving my country. Some of my reasons included a chance to travel, meet new friends,dodge the potential recession and help me get a job later in life. He then said I should get into the trades instead. Keep in mind my grandfather was a union carpenter for many years and eventually owned his own construction company. I explained to him that the trades wouldn’t be that good for me due to my severe dyscalculia and my extreme hatred towards mathematics. He then asked “well what are you gonna do when you leave the army?” I then talked about getting into some field of public safety afterwards like firefighting/ police and told him an army background usually helps with stuff like that. He explained to me it’s a bad idea to get into that because cops and firemen make “poverty wages” according to him.He also explained about how there is no recession because everyone is hiring. I ended up taking his advice and opted out. Fast forward about a week I got a job as a painter apprentice in which I was fired after 2 n a half weeks for basically being bad at my job. I would later get a job with my buddies landscaping business. That didn’t work out so I quit and begun a new job search. I would later have lunch with him during this time. We talked about mostly normal things but it eventually led to him saying “throwawaymaster your 19 you gotta know what you want to do with your life at this age” I kinda just shrugged for the most part. Fast forward about another month I text him asking about what trade unions he could get me in. He would then go on to tell me most places would be reluctant to hire because of the looming recession in which if we go back to September when stated there was no recession. Now you can tell I’m pissed not to mention with painting/landscaping I have made little to no money and I’m now stuck working fast food. I really want to tell him how pissed I am it him I just don’t know if I’ll be in the right. Anyways my phone is melting from me typing this massive paragraph feel free to ask an questions or be brutally honest…",AITA for wanting to confront my Grandfather who gave me really bad advice?,INFO
10z9bu6,"I (15M) am Indian. This incident has kept me up, and I need to know whether what I did was wrong.This started a few days ago. Some students were outside a classroom, waiting for a teacher, and I was one of them. A person I will call Tom (15M) was also outside. Note that Tom is a prefect. Tom is also friends with Harry (15M) who hates my guts.Tom was chatting with one of Harry's friends while I was also in the vicinity, although not partaking in the conversation. Tom said, ""I hate Hindus."" So I turned around, being a Hindu. He continued, ""In that, I hate Brahmins,"" and pointed at me, ""Like this guy."" Tom is an Indian-Muslim (such that he knows the caste system well enough.)And for those who don't, here's a quick crash course, in order of the supposed ""hierarchy"":Brahmins: Scholars, PriestsKshatriyas: Kings, WarriorsVaishyas: Farmers, Traders, etc.Shudras: Labourers/WorkersDalits: ""Outcasts""Note that I don't really believe in this system, but I respect my own culture and don't hate other people who are of different races, and stuff like that.I was really taken aback by his comment and I felt like it attacked me on a personal level. (Am I being too sensitive here?) So I walked away somewhere else.There were no other Hindus in that group, which made my situation worse.Fast forward to a day later, when my class chat is ""gossiping"" about people, including Tom, I tell them that Tom specifically said that he ""hates hindus"" as a passing remark. (I guess I was just really pissed about the whole situation.) While many people didn't believe me, there were some people who said things like ""expected"". An hour-ish later, a mutual acquaintance of Tom and I says in the chat that he wanted to clarify that he hated Brahmins ""historically"", and not Hindus as a whole. Tom also wanted to say that the remark was a joke.Note that I had only met Tom around three before this, and in all of them, Harry was also with Tom telling him shit like ""Look at him [me], do you think he even does anything useful?"" or ""Look at his ugly face, who even gave birth to him?"" etc., etc.Harry has also given me shit for being Brahmin, so I guess I just assumed that Tom was doing the same. (Harry is an Indian Hindu but not a Brahmin.)Of course, Tom's ""clarification"" caused a lot of backlash, with people saying that I was twisting Tom's words, and stuff like that. Most of these people were also Harry's friends, who hate me as well.I impulsively lashed back that Tom did not bother to clarify this with me at all, and it wasn't my fault for misinterpreting his remark.I should also clarify that all I told my class chat was that Tom said that he hated Hindus, and I said nothing about Brahmins at all. (out of embarrassment lol)So, AITA? We have since apologised through our mutual acquaintance, but I have no idea how this is going to affect me in the future. I also don't know if what Tom said actually was a joke or not.Thank you for reading through this shitshow of a post :)",AITA for misinterpreting (I think) a racist remark?,NTA
10zfm05,"Hey Reddit, I've just made an account because something has been troubling me a bit and wanted to get some further advice (and it's a useful site but that's beside the point). I've been writing a series of novels for the past 2 years now, creating a universe and set of stories to tell within this world. I'm super proud of what I've made but I keep running into an issue. I have a cowriter on the project but she doesn't keep pace with me. I am understanding that given her age, she has a different set of priorities than I do (she's 73 and I'm 24) but I've started feeling like she's freeloading off the project. I was okay with it for a short time until she started trying to mess with the gender identity of a species I had developed. I tried explaining that chromosomes have no play in gender and this is a future species to try and capture a genderless future. She then told me I was mansplaining to her and refused to talk to me for a week.After this, I kept working on the project but I began breaking down what she had created in the universe. It was a total of 6 character names, not the characters but just their names. A few days ago we got into another argument because I wanted to use the word Shamanka (a feminine shaman) instead of the word Priestess, which has led to another bout of silence. I then realized that a 2 and a half hour conversation with my father about potential alternatives for the Cold War had a greater impact on the universe than she had.At this point, I am considering dropping my co-writer but am not sure if it's the right thing to do. On the one hand, I'm being met with conflict around basic concepts but on the other, she's an old woman who enjoys reading over the book and doesn't have a lot going on in life. She helps edit the book but then gets offended if I call her an editor. I'm at a point where I can change the names and just boot her from the project. I'm very tempted to too. AITA here?EDIT: Most of her major notes for the current draft of the novel are disliking the word prologue and not reading past chapter one because she hasn't set aside the time in over a week. I update her consistently via text as well but get no response or creative feedback except when it's about something that's minor in the scheme of story. Like a dog having more presence in the story (that's an actual example)",AITA Creative Conflict,NTA
10z7e8x,"My daughter's first birthday is this upcoming Monday, which is the day we are celebrating it.My husband and I are living with my mother temporarily so things are rough with planning stuff out.My sister texted me asking me what we are doing for babys birthday. I said, ""Staying home, gonna make a cake for her. We were planning on going to the children's museum that Saturday or Sunday beforehand and going to get her a birthday build a bear"". She didn't ask what day, she never texts me to talk about plans with the baby but messages my mom or they talk on the phone and then my mom ends up ""nudging"" me to do things differently than I wanted to just for my sister.This is my daughter's first birthday and we are also celebrating an entire year of my husband and I surviving the hardest year of our lives so far. We weren't concerned with anyone coming over to celebrate and if people wanted to that's fine.My sister hardly ever makes an effort to come see my daughter unless it's the holidays. She never comes to ME about things and ends up hurt because she goes through my mom. Maybe once or twice she has and that's it. And when she does visit, it isn't long. My mom pressures me to talk to my sister but never tells her to talk to me when I'm the mother of her niece. I've even told her and told my mom to tell my sister to come to me about shit but hardly ever follows that.",AITA for not having my daughter's first birthday celebration on a weekend?,NTA
10zfeee,"I (F) experienced something that (imo) was traumatic to me. For sake of brevity and confidentiality, I’m going to be vague about the event, but I not only was physically injured, but the event has had a huge impact on my mental health. I decided to press charges immediately and it has taken a while for the case to progress. I learned the sentencing hearing for the defendant about a month in advance and that has been extremely difficult for me, as the choice was mine whether I would give a victim impact statement or not (they plead guilty). I decided not to under advisement from my therapist, due to the mental and emotional impact it would cause me.Fast forward to today. Court date is approaching, and I had taken the day off of work in advance because I know I will not be in the right frame of mind to go to work. When we talked about it previously, he had said he would support me and be there for me, which I interpreted literally, so I assumed he would be with me that day. That is apparently not what he meant. I got upset, because this was a traumatic event for me and I wanted his support by being physically with me that day, even though I am not physically going to court. He is going to work that day (he works long hours,as in 12 hour days) so I wouldn’t see him practically at all. He is mad at me for getting upset, saying that he doesn’t want to disappoint his coworkers by not being at work. My sister has offered to take the day off of work the be with me, as has my mom, so I do have other support outside of him, which is where I may be TA for getting mad. AITA for wanting him to take the day off of work/getting upset that he wont?Context: we have been dating for 4 years and live together.",AITA for wanting my BF to stay home from work?,NTA
10zbg85,"Hey everyone,So my cousin, (let's say T) (18M) and I (19M) have basically grown up with each other since birth, as well as having gone to the same high-school and playing in the same football (soccer) club. In essence, we consider each others as brothers and would defend each other if something was to happen to the either of us.However, the other day during club fitness training, we were grouped into twos so that one person can record the time of the other. In essence, the training was basically suicides, but we had to run back and forth from the goal-line to the halfway line 5 times in total. I obviously grouped up with my cousin whilst right next us were two of my closest high school mates, lets just call them C and J (18M and 19M respectively). Everything went accordingly in the beginning when it was the first group's turn, which included me and J. However the problem began when it was T and C's turn. As the second group started their runs, I could already sense that both T and C were trying to beat each other's time, both using unsportsmanlike methods such as nudging and pushing. By the final lap, T was well ahead of C, and although I wasn't paying a 100% attention, I did briefly see C blocking the path of T so that he could slow him down. When they both finished, both of them were blaming each other and even got heated up to the point where fists were about to be thrown between each other.At this point the coach brought all four of us to ask what exactly happened, and T and C were obviously screaming their sides of the story. Meanwhile, the coach asked J and I what we saw, to which J first stated how he wasn't paying 100% attention on how the situation unfolded. As for myself, I was contemplating in telling the coach that I saw C blocking T, but I ended up saying the same thing as J. My reasons for this were that if I was to take a side, the situation simply won't calm down between the two and the blame would ultimately be fallen on me from whoever takes the punishment. Furthermore, I wasn't even a 100% sure why or what led to the incident in the first place so it wasn't easy for me to say T was all that innocent from the beginning. In the end, the coach banned both T and C from training for 2 weeks for disrupting the training session.On our way home, T told me how disappointed he was at me for not sticking up for him, saying he would have stood up for me in situations like this. He has been very pissed off at me for the past couple of days.Should I have stuck up for him? WITA?",AITA for not defending my cousin?,NTA
10z9zc5,My parents gifted money for my wedding and reception. My fianceé and I decided that we wanted to do a private ceremony a few months before public vows and a reception. My family is upset with this decision and has asked that we cancel our public wedding/reception and return the money gifted. They said they don't care if we give back amounts already paid to vendors. We have chosen to continue with our plan to host a public event. AITA?,AITA for not returning a gift of money?,YTA
10zf8a1,"Please excuse any grammatical errors, I’m currently on my mobile phone and exhausted. I can’t sleep because now I feel bad.My husband used to work night shift and is on leave from work. He had a seizure two months ago while at work and stays home now. He can’t drive and stays up all night playing video games. (I’m a gamer too so I’m not mad about him pew pewing all night)He’s been doing okay and try my best to spend as much time with him as possible.I work over an hour away and the job is essentially my dream job. I make really good money so I can support the family. My husband hasn’t got paid yet on short term but I’m not upset and I’m just happy he is home and safe. During the week I stay in the town I work at with one of my two sisters. One has young children who are loud little boys and stay up late. Needless to say I don’t sleep well. My other sister smokes and between my allergies and the uncomfortable couch, I don’t sleep good there either. Usually a on Friday I make the drive home and my husband and I hang out like we always do. He plays his ps5 in our room and I read or play on my steam deck. This week has been tough on me. Several projects at work, things going wrong, and lack of sleep. On Sunday nights my husband will hang out in the living room so I get rested up for the week. Tonight (On a Friday) I asked if it would be okay for a dark room. I’m exhausted and just want to sleep. He made me feel bad and wasn’t even going to give me a hug before he left the room. No offer to lay and cuddle etc. I just felt like I needed to sleep. Now I can’t because I feel guilty. I tried to get him to stay after the fact but he refused. I feel like I should not have been made to feel guilty. I work my butt off and want some quiet time. I’d move to the living room but our 19 year old son just moved back in from his bio dads and we haven’t got the basement fixed up for him yet. So he’s in the living room as well. It would not be quiet since he stays up all night too. AITA?",AITA for wanting to sleep in a dark room?,NTA
10zf56t,"She is his ex.  He states that they’ve been friends for a long time. She lives in a different state. They broke up several years ago when she cheated on him and had a baby with another man. He wanted to stay with her so he tried persuading her to have an abortion, which she didn’t and now has a child. Fast forward to now, he reaches out to her monthly, and they talk over the phone. They keep in touch regarding life, family and business. They give each other advice. This includes my fiancé asking her for advice regarding OUR relationship. Once we were having a disagreement about finances and I  saw that he texted her “why are relationships so hard” and then I saw they had a 30 minute conversation on the phone together. After that conversation, he was more open to seeing my perspective I think so perhaps she is non biased.I only really started to feel uncomfortable when he paid $100 for her to make him a pillow. But this was a “boob pillow”.  He never told me about this purchase and I come home and see very realistic detailed breasts that are 3x bigger than mine, with nipple piercing. He says he bought them from her and is confused when I’m shocked and hurt by this.I told him this is getting much and he needs to stop talking to her. And his response is that she’s his only real female friend, the only female in his life from which he can get a genuine perspective. Obviously I would feel bad for asking him to cut ties with his ONLY “genuine” female friend. But it should be noted I am worried this is only providing an open door for possible future infidelity. I’ve had to intercept his contact with ex’s in the past when it included reaching out to one behind my back and deleting those texts, sending her money, and watching old sex videos of her. He cut off ALL ties with that particular ex, but it has made me wary. When I asked him what’s keeping him from getting back with this current ex he’s talking to, he mentioned reasons that did not include me as a factor. Am I an asshole for insisting he break this relationship off too?",AITA for demanding my fiancé have strict cessation of contact with his female friend?,NTA
10z5uiw,"For context I am a 21 year old male, I live with with my uncle, we both work in a sign shop together and this happened today cause of course it did. The conversation was this afternoon when I was tapping up leds on a sign, he asked if he could use my phone to call my aunt, I oblige and let him call my aunt then gave my phone back to me, he then asked if he could use if for pictures, I kindly and calmly said no he couldn't, he then asked why and I responded calmly not rude whatsoever ""I just don't want you to use my phone at the moment"".Then he tells me that ""I don't want to drive you to work anymore then"", I ask why he's do made and he said he needs to take pictures and asked to use my phone once again, I still said no I wasn't mean to him at all.Then later today at 2:30 he starts getting ready to leave I do as well l, we both leave at 1:30 but we needed to stay to get extra stuff done, I set my stuff down to clock put then walk into the bathroom to wash my hands, as soon as I walk out I see his truck leave so I walked out with my stuff to get in the truck but he keeps going then leaves me at work.Was I in the wrong for not letting him use my phone?(Note he left his at a friend's house)",AITA For nit letting my uncle use my phone?,NTA
10z9q7a,"Ok some background i (15M) have some friends, Oscar (15M) George (16M) and my younger sister Alex (14F) this week I planned a DND (dungeons and dragons) session with all of us. We spent around half an hour setting up and making characters (George is the dungeon master in this story.) Eventually we go around and start saying our character names but Alex and Oscar keep saying ridiculous names like Queefmaster69 or whoppereater32. At this point I start getting upset as I’ve been working all week to plan this so I ask them to be more serious about it and they say ok. We start playing and not even 10 minutes into it they start up again so I ask again and they say ok. They keep the cycle of me asking them to be serious and them saying they will before starting up again for 20 minutes. Soon enough George gets pissed off and starts packing up to leave and Oscar and Alex ask why. George won’t answer them as he’s almost packed up to go. I start going off on them about how I planned this all week and they couldn’t even be serious about it for 30 minutes. Now they’re acting like I have no right to be upset. I’m scared that they won’t wanna be friends with me after I blew up at them tonight. But am I the asshole?",AITA for getting upset at my friends?,NTA
10z9dql,"Apparently, I’m an asshole here.For starters, I work for a jewelry store….retail to put it in better perspective for people…. Not only do I work in retail, I’m the district training store manager for my district. Today is an amazing day…today I got to somewhat celebrate my 8th anniversary…and by somewhat …I mean I was the only one who celebrated. (Got him a gift) Working in an industry that sells jewelry so close to Valentine’s Day is pretty stressful. Not only that, I have an entire brand new team. I have a new assistant manager, and 2 new Keysales in which only 1 keysale has their keys as there is a very extensive training period before you get keys to my store….with that said, my store would’ve crashed and burned without me. I requested today off a while ago and was very hopeful id be able to have the day off…I knew I was going to have a big sale, I just didn’t really know when until the last week of Jan. I knew this was going to upset him and I tried my best to make up for it after I got off work yesterday..I went and got him what I thought was A very thoughtful gift…I drank an energy drink to make sure I could hopefully stay up late with him to be able to spend some time with him as I knew I had to work the next day (today) Alllll dayyyy long…He thinks I should just be able to take days off and call out sick whenever I please but I know what’s at stake for my job. Not just my job but for the position I worked so hard to get, I pay majority of the bills around here, granted yes he has sacrificed a lot, but so have I. And I know he paid majority of the bills too for a while but I try not to “tit for tat” things. Ive gotten the cold shoulder all day today.Am I the asshole here ?!",AITA for not calling out sick for my anniversary….,NTA
10zepic,"I (female) broke up with my ex because he has trouble understanding things from my point of view (even though he always said he understood and then always brought up the issues days or weeks later). He always got upset or felt down whenever I would decline his ask of sex and then when we would have a conversation about it, he would say that it's a need for him and his physical touch/touch deprivation. I understood that but I always told him I'm not a sexual person so he has to be patient with me and just let it happen. My feelings slowly faded away from him and he decided to look through my phone while I was asleep because he felt like he was losing me to a friend I met playing video games (he said he felt neglected anytime I would play video games because i would stay up until the sun came out and he wouldn't have anyone to cuddle)Disclaimer: we lived together days before we even started dating. We work at the same place and shared a car which my mother co-signed for. We did literally everything together and he said that working and sleeping together wasn't spending time with each other. After we broke up, I spent days and weeks blaming myself for everything and i did take responsibility for everything wrong I did in the relationship. I'm not perfect and I have come to accept my flaws and try every day to fix my wrong doings. My friend (now boyfriend) got me out of my rut and choose to sit down with me and listen to everything I have to say. He listens and asks questions and shows signs that he truly wants to understand my point of view. I know moving on fast is not ideal but we never planned on dating. We thought it would end at friendship but things happened and feelings got in the way. Fast forward to recent days (beginning of this month), i found out, by myself, that my ex and my now ex best friend had been seeing each other. I wasn't told the time frame when I confronted my ex about it but weeks have gone by and i still feel hurt and disrespected. I have tried to voice out my feelings -- more towards my ex than my ex best friend -- but it always seems to go over his head. He says it's none of my business and part of me knows I have every right to be upset because who would do that to someone who says they always have your back and they'll always be there for you? People at our job found out on their own and has reached out to me saying that what they did was not right. Though part of me feels absolutely destroyed, the feeling of anger and disrespect overthrows any sad feeling I have. Am i an asshole for getting attached to this situation and getting very angry towards the both of them and the actions they've made?",AITA for getting mad at my ex and ex best friend?,YTA
10z5u26,"I (f20) recently moved away for Uni and started my first semester in the fall. Right on the first day I met a group of girls and we started going to classes together, seeing each other at Uni but we never really met up outside of Uni. Right at the beginning one of the girl from the group, A, found a guy (J) she thought was really attractive and started daydreaming about him a lot although they had never spoken and started talking about him a lot. I started feeling a bit unhappy with the whole group, I am the only one who moved to the city and is looking to make new friends apparently, and they never really wanted to hang out outside of studying occasionally. Recently I met a girl in my semester and we really hit it off (she’s also from my home town). She’s good friends with J and once A found out about this she was head over heels, this was her ticket in. She started asking me if I want to go out with her and do stuff because she wanted me to invite my new friend and J to come along. I did once and A and J said maybe two words to each other, but A is crushing even more than ever and is certain he is too. The problem is, he isn’t. He asked me out for Valentine’s Day next week, and when I told him no and what about A he said he didn’t even really remember her. I’m absolutely not interested in J, I’ve been in a happy relationship for three years and never felt like I was giving him any signals, but A found out about him asking me and is furious. She and another girl keep saying I stole him from her and broke girl code. Some of the girls are on my side, but I’m definitely having doubts. I do feel guilty because I did talk to him quite a bit in class and actually did get along with him quite well in a platonic way. I never felt like I was trying to steal him from anyone, but maybe I was out of line for spending more time with him around and getting to know him without trying to include A?",AITA for stealing my friends crush,NTA
10zc2va,"Hi all,Around 8 years ago I was casually dating my female best friend, both of us were fresh out of relationships and we thought it’d be a swell idea to hook upAs it was, in my eyes, casual, I also slept with other girls at the same time, unbeknownst to her of course. I’m generally knows as a reserved person so I only really told my best male mate that I was with a few girls at one time, I didn’t tell him who the girls were of course, it was more of an early 20’s gloat. As these things go, my female best mate started to have feelings for me, I told her I’m not keen for a relationship but she persisted and still wanted to hook up. Really, I should’ve have taken this as me going too far but I hooked up with her anyway. Eventually, we stopped hooking up and a year or so later my female best mate(hook up buddy) and my male best mate started dating. She told him everything about me and her and how she fell in love with me but I didn’t feel the same this created a small rift between us 3 which blew over. Somewhere, at some time I am almost sure my male best mate told his new partner (my female best mate) that I’d been sleeping with other girls at the same time which caused her to cut ties with me, ignoring me at parties, unfollowing me etc. In the interim my male mate and I have gone back to being best mates again. Now they’re getting married this weekend at a huge function and although I’m still in the same friends circle as them and I’m still incredibly close with the male, they haven’t invited me to their wedding and I can’t help but feel upset and sad about it. Like I get it, but also how does my best mate not invite me to his wedding?Also more background, I’m the one who introduced them to each other way way back in our late Teens. TLDR: hooked up with my best mates current to be wife before they were together and now I’m not invited to the wedding. AITA?",AITA for not being invited to my best mates wedding,YTA
10z7qu9,"My mom passed away over a year ago.  My mom had always said that she wished to be cremated. We found a place that would do a cremation for $1,900. We decided to divide the total between the 5 of us ($380 each). 4 of us paid our part but 1 person. They kept saying that they didn’t have the money but always had the money to go out and eat and go places. They have a good job. They don’t pay rent because they stay in my parent’s home. They pay a few bills but that’s it. This went on until recently when I finally snapped at them and told them to quit being a d*ck and pay their part so we could get my mom’s ashes out. They begrudgingly paid their part but now they are upset with me and not talking to me. AITA for snapping at them ?",AITA for snapping at them ?,NTA
10z8x5e,"This is a burner account.Long story short, my gf and I live separately. We both can’t afford to live together so we still live with our parents. We’re both in our mid 20s. She lives with her mom and younger siblings in a smaller apartment in Chicago. Her place is connected with other adjacent apartments via plumbing. I was gonna go stay with her overnight (we’ve done this multiple times before) but she told me her place doesn’t have running water (shower, bathroom, sink out of order). She told me this last minute as I was about to head over. I told her I wasn’t feeling comfortable as I would be the guest staying there and that I don’t want to be a burden if I needed to go 1 or 2 during the night and the toilet doesn’t work. She regardless wanted me to come but I was extremely hesitant and kept saying no. We barely get to see each other and I promised we’d see each other tonight, but told her we could reschedule for tomorrow once the water comes back on. I just don’t know if I’m being a jerk or if I should just suck it up and go to her.",AITA for not going to my gf place?,NAH
10zc1u4,"So basically me and my friend were planning where we wanted to eat for lunch that day. We talk about how we want to go to a more cute place with trendy stylings. The place I brought up was more expensive so she proposes we eat at a Peruvian  restaurant. I’m not really a fan a Peruvian  food and the place isn’t pretty to me so I call it ugly. She gets mad and says I should just pick a place but while I was thinking over it I decided that the Peruvian place would be the better option as it is less expensive so I decide we should go after all. She gets obviously mad through text and I ask her what’s wrong. She says that this is just another instance of me being argumentative. I was confused and asked her what I meant. She said that I don’t let her express her thoughts and just rebuttal them and she brought up her wanting to apply to a prestigious summer camp in dc. We live in Washington state. So I cautioned her with things such as price, transportation, and prestigious status. She later brings up in the text that I shouldn’t have questioned why she wanted to go and support her. This instance happened again when we were getting smoothies. We were having a conversation on why humans lost most of their hair when they evolved and she brings up a joke about how it must have been for looks and we just willed ourselves to lose hair. She looks dead serious so I’m assuming she’s serious and bring up scientific points and she rebutted them. She then gets mad and says it’s hard to have a conversation with me because of how argumentative I am. She gives me a disgusted look that she repeatedly gives me whenever I say something that deters from what I’m supposed to do. I’m pissed at her so we walk back to the bus stop in silence. Later I ask her what’s her problem with me and she says she just can’t deal with me at times. I really don’t think I’m the a- hole in this situation but maybe I’m biased. In order to perserve our friendship I already apologized for the first scenario  in which I said even though I didn’t understand why she was mad I apologize. She says I shouldn’t have questioned her when she was upset over text and that I should have just apologized immediately without asking for more evidence of my wrongdoings. I feel like I’m being misused for my more pacifist nature. So Reddit, aita",AITA for being argumentative in a conversation with a friend,NTA
10z69wm,"Hi, back in December my friends suggested going on a trip in March. I have been studying for the MCAT, and I thought that I was going to take it in January at the time so I agreed for the trip. I was not ready for the January date and I must postpone until March, I don't want to wait until April. There are two dates available: March 11th, and March 26th. The trip is from the 12-19th. I am leaning towards March 26th for the test date, however, that would mean that I would arrive back from vacation one week before my exam. I am not sure if I want to do that, I was considering going for less days as well but as a whole I wish this was pushed back a few weeks. I asked my friends a few weeks ago if they were open to switching dates, but one of my friends has her spring break that week and returns to school the following weeks. We have our flights booked and we have an airbnb in mind that we haven't booked but are planning to this weekend. I essentially need to either take my exam the day before, go for a few days and come back early, or not go at all. AITA If I fully cancel?   (I really do not want cancel to as these are my bestfriends and a trip like this would happen maybe once a year-two, I have been studying for the MCAT for a while and I don't know realistically how much 2 weeks of a difference would be, I am feeling very stuck)",AITA For cancelling a trip a month in advance?,NTA
10z9hs2,"My wife (40F}, son (6M), and I (41M) were shopping for a souvenir at a tourist shop at Waikiki Beach in Hawaii. A few minutes after we purchased a $35 gift and had set off down the street, my wife told me the clerk had been rude to her.Here's what my wife said:When it seemed like we were going to walk out empty handed, the clerk asked my wife if she was her son's grandmother, and when my wife corrected her, the clerk said my wife must have been old when she had him.My wife was taken aback by these comments, but we bought the gift anyway. I hadn't heard the clerk's comments, and said we should get the gift because her uncle would really like it.After we left the store, my wife told me what had happened. I convinced her to let me return the item, even though I assumed there would be a no-returns policy.I went back to the store alone and explained the situation, saying I'd like to return the gift because the clerk had insulted my wife.She was livid, said I was a terrible person for claiming she had been rude, and refused to return the item. It was the store policy to deny returns, and I could only swap my gift for another item.The argument escalated. I went from calmly talking to the clerk to loudly telling new customers to shop somewhere where the clerks aren't so rude. She kept telling me I was terrible. It was an ugly scene.Eventually, I said I would just keep the gift and tell my credit card to cancel the purchase. It was an empty threat because there's no way a credit card company would cancel the charge for an item that wasn't broken, but the clerk believed me and became even more upset.Eventually, another customer convinced the clerk to just let me return the item.The argument took about 20 minutes.I was pretty shaken afterward because I hate confrontation and was pretty obviously a jerk. The customer who eventually helped convince the clerk said I should drop in because I need to pick my battles. I said this was the battle I picked. I don't pick fights with clerks, and wouldn't have in this situation either except I wanted to defend my wife's honor.Am I the asshole? Is the clerk? Were we both assholes? And more importantly, how should I have acted? My wife was noticeably hurt so I didn't want to just leave the matter. Could I have gotten my money back without being an asshole?",AITA -- Heated argument with store clerk,YTA
10zh7bz,"Eh, this is kind of weird to talk about but I'll try.So my Aunt Lisa was married to Mark for several years. They had my cousin Mika together. Mark died when Mika and I were small. I really don't remember Mark. Mika and I are the same age btw. We had other cousins who were older and younger as well. Some remember Mark, others don't. So Lisa married again when Mika was 7. Her husband Dan had two kids of his own. Macey and Riley. They were just a couple of years older than Mika. Lisa and Dan were both so happy since both lost their first spouses. The adults in our family were all so excited too and were eager for Mika to have siblings and a father figure. They were so excited to have Macey and Riley be part of the family too. Everyone called the three of them siblings. The adults all considered them as thick as thieves. But to the kids in the family, me included, we knew they weren't close. We knew Macey and Riley didn't consider Mika their brother. We knew Mika didn't see Macey and Riley as his siblings either. They didn't actually play together or hang out. Most of the time Macey and Riley would pretend to join us but just go do their own thing. Mika told us that in school most people didn't even know they all lived together and they kept their lives very separate outside the house. That never changed. They all grew up and now they have no relationship at all.There was some debate going on recently because my parents, uncle, Lisa and Dan all saw on social media that Macey and Riley went on a sibling trip without Mika. It shocked them and brought up some stuff. The rest of my cousins stayed out of the way while they talked but I was sitting there, listening and they were talking about how close they always had been and stuff, and I didn't keep quiet and I asked them if they really still believed that even after that. They asked what I meant and I told them they had never been close, that they were never claiming each other as siblings or being super tight. They couldn't believe it and dragged some cousins in to ask, who confirmed what I said. I told them all of us as kids knew they weren't close and we figured eventually all the adults would figure it out as well. Lisa and Dan were furious that I didn't tell them back then. Lisa told me that as her nephew I should have wanted to help them fix it, and to make them aware so they could do better. Dan told me I had helped make his and Lisa's life with adult kids more difficult if they had to worry their kids would never speak again when they die. My parents were shocked I never said anything to them about it before.There is some anger there, from Lisa and Dan, and they have said I'm wrong for not saying it when I was a kid. So I gotta ask AITA?",AITA for not telling the adults in my family about my cousins before now?,NTA
10zh43l,I just moved into my new apartment today and I had a friend visit me from out of town. Apartment is 1bed/1 bath. He ends up bringing another girl from his town and they both stay with me. He also invited another friend while we are here. Well we go out and come back and are hanging out in living. His friends ( the girl) goes to sleep in my bed. I let her for an hour or so but when I’m ready for bed I wake her and ask her to move to the living room. The other 2 guys are in there and I hear him say to her “did she kick you out???”  I said “sorry girls name” and closed the door. AMITA for kicking acquaintance out of my bed?,AITA for kicking girl out of my bed,NTA
10zh431,AITH for refusing to talk to my husband after her swears at me?My husband always swears at me when he gets annoyed and I’ve asked him for years not to swear at me because it’s disrespectful and makes me feel worthless and unloved. He did it again this morning again ( it’s been a few times this week now) and I walked off and did my own thing all day. We haven’t spoken since and he’s ignoring me. AITH for not talking to him until he acknowledges that it’s not ok to talk to me like that.,AITA AITH for refusing to talk to my husband of M4 years M46 after her swears at me F43?,NTA
10zgzh8,"My daughter, Izzy who’s 13 was bullied all throughout primary school, because of this she ended up leaving school and we’ve been doing homeschooling these last couple of years, her grades have never been better because of this but she’s also been struggling a lot with making friends, last year she got back in touch with a friend from her old dance school, Beth and they’ve been inseparable. As a mother I’ve always been a bit concerned about Beth, she’s only 14 and yet I know she smokes and drinks, i do know that she’s not encouraging my daughter to do any of this though, and while I have let her parents know when I’ve seen her getting herself into trouble but they don’t seem to care, I try to stay out it though as I don’t want to ruin my daughters relationship with her best friend. They’ve been to a few parties together but I’ve always made sure they have a strict curfew and gotten in touch with the host’s parents. Izzy recently asked to go to a party that I know will have a lot of drinking and even smoking, all thd kids there are between 16-18 as well, I was very strict with a no but Izzy is refusing to accept it. My husband suggested I get some face masks and make a girly movie night for her that night but when I asked Izzy she yelled at me and slammed the door in my face. I’m not sure what to do now, the parties tomorrow and I need to make sure that Izzy isn’t going, she keeps calling me a b*tch and all sorts of horrible things, I’m starting to think that I am in the wrong but also as a mother I have boundaries and just because Beth is allowed to go to this party doesn’t mean Izzy should be allowed to go.",AITA for not letting my daughter go to a party?,NTA
10z6d8j,"throwaway account​Update: after reading some of the comments, i have decided that if we cannot come to an agreement then i will just out source the materials from the roofing supply depot as to not use any of my companys resources. this way his opinion on me doing a side job no longer matters. im not doing anywork for an active customer so the non compete does not apply. and i will continue doing my job nothing more nothing less. i  manage a gutter company now for 10 years. i get paid hourly and make  like maybe 3% commission on certain things. i know the inner workings of  the company i know all the suppliers ive ever sourced some of our main  suppliers though my own contacts. i essentially have complete access to  all our materials and equipment and good relationships with all our  installers and workers who are sub contracted. so on occasion ill make a  deal with a sub and buy the materials and have him install them pay him  cash and then either physically help with the job or pay him extra and  then keep the remaining profit. ive done this maybe 3 or 4 times in the  10 years ive worked here.now a  few weeks ago owner of the company saw me in the truck over the weekend  and asked what i was doing. i said i had a side job and then produced  recipts for all the materials basically saying yea im not stealing from  you but i did admit i wasnt upfront because he gets difficult when it  comes to side work.so now i have  another opportunity for a side job, since i have debt im trying to pay  off fast these side jobs can net me over $1k profit most of the time. so  me wanting to foster an open and honest relationship with my employer  and supposed ""friend"" and be transparent i say hey i have a potential  side job and i want you to feel comfortable with me doing this how can  we make it work and he says im not comfortable with you doing side work.  so im like why? and he says i signed a not compete and he cant have me  competing with him. which i say its not a customer. the non compete only  applys to essentially stealing cusotmers.  so whats the issue? he says  im not a contractor. and im like so what? ive been running a gutter  company for 10 years why cant i do a side job? he said we will talk  another time about it since its friday and he was on his way out. but he  really rubbed me the wrong way with that no compete shit technically  the non compete expired anyway. so im hoping when we talk again we can  come to an agreement.cause honestly i coudl jsut take our truck after he leaves and no one would even know unless he jsut so happend to see me like he did last time. or i can just cut him out all together get materials straight from the supplier and have them dopped off for maybe $250 sur charge. but like what the hell have i worked fro him for 10 years that i cant even use my position to my advantage from time to time.So reddit WIBTA if i do a side job even tho my boss has said he is not comfortable with me using my companys resources?",WIBTA if i do a side job anyway,YTA
10z6bzy,"My (20F) boyfriend (24M) has always had a hard time sleeping through the night. Recently he got some sleeping pills from my family member, and even though I totally sympathize with this struggle, this makes me uncomfortable for a few reasons. 1. Getting prescription meds from my family member feels like a strange thing to do without mentioning to me2. We live a very sedentary lifestyle, lots of video games/movies, often going to bed super late. I think we should try some kind of exercise daily (starting small, like 30 minutes a day) as well as drinking more water and eating healthier food before looking to medication. I’ve asked him many times to see a sleep doctor, because I believe he may have sleep apnea or something like that, to no avail. 3. These meds can be dangerous if taken without a prescription, as well as addictive. He has had substance abuse issues in the past. 4. He got really defensive when I brought the above ideas up. Saying he really likes the sleep he gets with the pills, and that this is what he’s doing and it’s not negotiable, at least as a first step. 5. We live in a place with a history of break ins, as well as with an alcoholic roommate who has fallen asleep with lit cigarettes before. There has already been a small fire. I worry that if I need to wake him up in the middle of the night for an emergency I won’t be able to.Now I really love him and I want to spend my life with him, but I’m concerned and unsure about whether or not I’m overstepping when I bring up these concerns. I want him to get better sleep, I just wish he would start smaller or with a doctor. He doesn’t want to go to the doctor as he has experienced doctors being unwilling to help him/not taking him seriously, or believing he is drug seeking before. I have witnessed this first hand and I will say it is a legitimate concern.So, AITA? If you have any suggestions please share",AITA for not wanting my boyfriend to take sleeping pills?,NTA
10zgvva,"I live with my roommate in one room. They are a messy person, but keep the mess on their side of room, so I kinda do not care, unless it starts spreading  When we moved in, we both agreed on taking turns cleaning the room, mostly vacuuming and mopping floors, taking out trashcan... I have been out for 3 weeks from the apartment and in the 3 weeks, the roommate didn't bother to do any of these chores even once. Trashcan was so full it was spilling over, floor covered in those fluffs of dust and hair. So when I came back, I tidied my part of rokm and the cleaning, because it was my turn anyway, wanting to ask the rm, why they didnt bother cleaning. The next morning when the rm came, the first thing they shout at me is, that I broke their table. It's one of those super cheap wiggly foldable tables, originally for laptop I think,  where the rm keeps all kind of things piled on top of the poor table. I allegedly broke it, when I put extra weight on it and they are asking me to pay for new such table and never again touch their things, because they would never do it.The only thing I did was, that I put a small cardboard box with 1 empty bottle, some astic bags and one can of deodorant in it on the table, so I could clean the floor where these things were laying. The ""break"" on the table is on one of the legs, a small crack that wouldn't be there had the table not been piled with everything on it. I did what I think was natural - put things away so I could mop the floor and let it dry. The rm then tried to argument that they did not have time to clean because of work yadayada and if they had time, they would have made their table tidy. I am refusing to pay for the table because 1, the crack doesn't influence the stability or anything of said table and 2, had they made a bit more mess on the table, it would have cracked itself anyway.So, AITA?",AITA for (not) breaking the table?,NTA
10zgs2a,"So this is my first and hopefully last time asking here but here it goes. I am in the middle of fixing myself from a nasty breakup. As of writing this is the 3rd week of the split and since then I have been surprisingly mellow, I am taking therapy to let it all out, moved out of our room and took over the office room, and work extra hard to save money for a new car. At the moment we live together due to signing a new lease in November.So today I wake up at 6am to a few notifications from my home security camera. I am a very skittish sleeper already and with the anxiety I am going through I can wake up from the smallest thing. I then notice on my screenshots that the camera takes for me that it is my ex standing at the door for an excessive amount of time. I shrug it off and try to sleep a little longer as it is still very early maybe she's getting ready for work. Another alert gets sent to my phone. This time there is a random man in my living room with my ex. My heart sinks and 3 weeks of reinforcing myself goes out the window and I become painfully sick. They go up to her room which is 5 feet from mine and for the next 7 hours they are being loud.I then go to work pale as a ghost because to me and those I spoke to is that not only is it wrong to bring someone home with a roommate nearby but when it's a roommate *that has been your partner for nearly 3 years* 3 weeks after being told that ""we should focus on ourselves"" I had to put my foot down. I message her to try and get some answers for sneaking someone in. Also just to point out **we are split**. I have come to terms with it and was beginning the process to rebuild and this went right out the window the moment I saw it. It is known by both of us that I unfortunately suffer very easily from stress based problems such as anemia. I message her that I am severely uncomfortable with her bringing anyone to her room 5 feet from where I am taking therapy for her sudden decision. She responds by apologizing saying that she would have texted me that she's bringing someone over but ""wasn't sure if I was awake"" at 6 in the morning. I continue to tell her that taking aside the fact that I am an ex and it could come off as jealous or desperate It does not excuse the gross disrespect doing that is and I insist that bringing people to our home is not right. She then admits that it is disrespectful but "" I would like to keep bringing him over. I wouldn't mind if you bring someone home. I'll try to keep it out of sight"". Again. I am still blindsided from the initial breakup. I am taking what she said during the breakup to heart and I will keep working on myself I have no intentions to bring someone over or keep them out of sight because it's only me.I put my foot down a little more and from that point I get ghosted. I am being told that I shouldn't spend another minute in this home if she intends on bringing them over again. So with that **WIBTA if I took my name off of the lease and leave her to her own devices?**",WIBTA For Wanting To Break My Lease To Leave My Ex?,YTA
10zgo7w,"On a recent lab report I got a little note from my teacher that said “never begin a sentence with ‘and’. But you *can* begin sentences with conjunctions, I just did and there’s no rule against this. I looked it up, she’s just of the mindset that sentences should start with “and” or “but”. But again, that’s just simply not correct. So would I be the asshole if I corrected her note telling her to not attempt correcting someone if she herself is wrong?",WIBTA if I corrected a teacher?,NTA
10zgn8k,"Hello AITA, I am just a bit sad right now and could need some guidance.  So I (30F) have two children with my ex (38M) one was his ‚wish‘ and the other one not so much, but we always talked about having two children and - apparently only for me - it was clear that I‘d also keep the second child whether I should fall pregnant again (we were together for four years).  Obviously, exactly this happened, at first he wanted to keep it, too, but after a few days he wanted me to terminate because of ‚financial reasons‘. We broke up about this and have been ever since.  Now, he is very upset about having to pay child support for both kids, which I understand sucks, but I have way less money than he does (but my family helps out wherever they can and are happy to do so because they love the little ones). I always tell him I understand and I feel sorry that things turned out this way, but IDK what to do otherwise.  Then he lost some money in crypto and now has to sell his sports cars to keep afloat and be able to pay for his penthouse and the child support - but he always says I ruined his life and I am the devil and took everything from him. It makes me feel very bad and very sad, I understand this is a very hard time for all of us, but I refuse to give up child support just so he can keep a ridiculously expensive car at the detriment of our children. I try to work as much as I can and geht higher education so I can provide better, but atm it is just not possible to do more.  He has been crying for days about having to sell the car, I always said that I understand and that I‘m sorry, but yesterday I told him that it makes me sad that he‘s crying over this but was never sad about losing our relationship or telling me I have to terminate our second for financial reasons. Since then he’s really angry at me ans refuses to speak to me, I‘m also a bit scared he‘ll cut child support because of this.    Am I really the devil here? I try my best and I really try to always be understanding of him and help wherever I can and provide everything for the kids, but sometimes this just gets to me and I feel so bad about it. Right now I am just sad that things turned out like this.    Sorry for the wall of text, maybe some of you can help me understand his view better.PS: sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language",AITA for keeping my child?,NTA
10zgllm,"This is a throwaway account and info will be broad.We are mid 30's. Prior to our baby, we used to split the chores around the house. We both vacuumed and cleaned the bathrooms, if one cooked then the other one does the dishes. We also have dogs and we would both walk them in the morning and at night. After my wife became pregnant, I was doing a lot more of the chores around the house which I was fine with since she couldn't do as much anymore due to lack of mobility and chemicals from the cleaners for the bathrooms. We still walked the dogs to get my wife some exercise during the pregnancy.I am work from home 4 days of 5 days, 8-9 hour days with one day being in the office. My work isn't super stressful, but I have deadlines.After the birth, my MIL and mom switched off staying with us for the first month to help us around the house. This allowed my wife and I to focus on our baby and allowed me to help my wife with whatever she needed; whether it was to help feed the baby, change its diaper, or clothed the baby. However, after the month of help, both our parents went back home and everything was now on us to cook, clean, laundry, dogs, and taking care of the baby.My wife has been on maternity leave since the birth of our baby and I haven't taken my leave yet and don't plan to until my wife goes back to work. So after the birth of our baby, I still work my normal hours. However, I still try to help out whenever she asks me to help with the baby when I can step away then I will. So she's not doing all the baby stuff by herself.This is where I'm wondering if ITAMy wife on maternity leave is pretty much a ""stay at home mom"" since all she's doing is just taking care of the baby; however, that's almost all she does. I've joked around with her saying that she's currently a ""stay at home mom"" but she's not pulling her weight around the house other than taking care of the baby and I still help her with the baby too. During the mornings if it's a sunny day then my wife will walk with the baby in the stroller while I'm the one walking the dogs; however, if it's a rainy then it all falls solely on me to do it all. I'm also the one who takes the dogs for a walk in the evening. I cook dinner and I'd say 9.5 out of 10 times I'm also the one either doing the dishes or putting them into our dishwasher. I always make the bottles every night.Baby is on formula.A normal day for my wife is feeding the baby every 3 hours at 7am and put to bed at 8pm.Weekends, I do 50% baby duties while still doing the cooking, dishes, and taking the dogs out in the evenings.I've told my wife that I'd switch with her at night where I feed the baby and she takes the dogs out but she brushes it off without an answer.I'm starting to feel burned out helping with the baby and the chores.So WIBTA for thinking that my wife should be doing more than just taking care of the baby?",WIBTA think my wife needs to do more around the house than just taking care of the baby?,YTA
10zggww,"Hi everyone, I hoping you can help me with my situation. My sister likes to yell at me over most things. Some examples are she yelled at me for not vacuuming right, she yell at me when I picked her up from work and the doors were locked cause I was scared in a bad neighborhood, she yells at me over being sensitive. Now for what recently happened. My sister is a very blunt person. She often tells it how it is but it can be extremely harsh. She doesn’t care if she hurts your feelings because I’m just to sensitive. Well yesterday she asked me to get snacks for my nephew for his lunch. But when to the store my dads card wouldn’t work. So I went back home to tell my dad and I found somethings to pack for my nephews lunch. Well when she got home she started yelling at me for spending $94, and she didn’t like how little I had gotten. I showed her everything I bought. Inflammation is no joke. My nephew had tons of snakes to take to school. So when she started criticizing me for screwing up. I just sincerely apologized and in a Minton voice I just okay. She lost it on me saying I’m such a baby and I need to stop being so sensitive. When she yells if you say anything back to her she’ll scream at me more and then won’t let me see my nephew. AITAH?",WIBTAH if I get monotone when I get yelled at,NTA
10zgghf,"Sister moved 6 months ago and her then puppy pug needed to be put in a carrier. It blurted out of me that I have a carrier for my cat and that she could use it if she’d like. She said yes cause it was easier than purchasing one and I thought no big deal. Helped her move and she said she needed the carrier to take her puppy to get his shots. I told her it was fine I wasn’t planning on using it anytime soon to just wash it and return it later. She agreed and that was that. I figured she’d bring it back in a month or so but it’s been 6 months. Every time I asked for it back she’d say “it’s in the garage I’ll have to look for it.” I thought “she lost it.” She looses everything I blurt out and let her borrow. I needed the carrier for my cat last week and when she brought it back the carrier was dirty smelling like her dog and she brought it that day. I wanted my carrier back at least two weeks before so I could get my cat used to being in it without being scared. Also so he could have his scent on it cause I assumed it was going to be washed smelling like detergent. But no she brought it the day I needed it, dirty. I was upset but needed the carrier that day, I stuffed my cat in it and ignored it. My cat wasn’t happy and I was upset. I only traveled an hour and a half. But still I wanted my carrier clean. When I tried to take my cat out I noticed the top zipper kept getting stuck. I used a different opening on the side. The top zipper is broken and it opens but gets stuck you have to force it same with closing. The inside it’s destroyed. It had these rods to help the carrier not collapse onto itself. But her dog chewed them the top collapses now. I need to hold the carrier by both handles away from each other to prevent that. The cushion was also chewed on. It’s the wooden board with the foam that goes at the bottom to maintain the bottom of the carrier straight. I did end up washing it after I returned with my cat. AITA if I return the carrier to her and tell her I’ll buy another one?",AITA if I give sister my cat carrier?,NTA
10zgaqn,"This is my first post here and hopefully my last, Forgive me if I have poor English.So basically my dad has a company in the Netherlands so every other week he goes to the Netherlands to work, Remember that,So I used to have depression but somehow I went to the gym and released all my anger there and it helped me (Now I'm trying to be a bodybuilder),So when he is not home and I call him he's really cool but when he comes back we almost always fight, So yesterday he came back and suggested we go for a walk tomorrow (which is today) and I agreed, So I told him to wake me up at 9AM, He woke me up at 8AM and I told him to please let me sleep until 9AM, Than he just told me he will refund all my gym supplies and my membership because I didn't want to go at 8AM (He screamed at me), So I asked him ""why"" and he just kept screaming at me, and than I shouted at him because he started trying to take stuff I paid for from my room and told him to get out of my room, than he kept screaming and I pulled my hair a lil bit with my hand and he said I need to go see a doctor, To escape from him I locked myself in the bathroom and they went somewhere, Am I The Asshole?And what should I do?",AITA For screaming at my dad,NTA
10zg9gt,"A close friend of mine had their birthday recently, I haven't done much with them in a little while and I was a little late to send them a birthday message (12:10ish same day) after I was reminded by another friend that it was their birthday and they told me "" you had to be reminded that it was my birthday, only to be late to wish me happy birthday. this is laughable"" AITA?",AITA if I sent a belated birthday message to someone I haven't hung out with recently?,NTA
10z6jbo,"So.... I'm working overtime 6 days a week already, My 18 year old daughter wants a ride right after work, and I'm so tired don't even get out of the car. Please keep in mind,  I  walk over 16k steps a day.😡 Surface Mount Technology ( google it)Coming up, I'm working 20 days straight where I have to get up at 3am on the weekends but yet still have to drop her off at 4pm ( Right when I get home during the week) then pick her up at like 10pm.... I'm about DONE. She has a job and makes her own money....AITAH For for saying.... UBER ##$$##$",AITA For not wanting to be a personal Uber to my kid when I'm working 20 days straight,NTA
10zc2zq,"I’m 28, almost every day, unfortunately not hyperbole, I get a call or text from my mother because there was an accident on the interstate, or a shooting at a park. Asking if I’m home or where I’m at. I’ve been on dates and I will have to turn do not disturb on because I know there’s a very good chance she’ll call before the date ends. She always says “I just worry”. Tonight I lost my cool a little over it and she started crying so I just hung up. I understand worrying, but this feels like way too much. Almost every. Single. Day. It’s a call or a text. Multiple times a day sometimes. I’m just exhausted by it.",AITA for getting annoyed with my mother for calling me almost every day telling me how dangerous the city I’m in is,NTA
10zfsq7,"I play FFXIV and I am a normal human dude. I joined an FC (a guild) to try and broaden my horizons and do activities. It was actually full of darker-skinned characters like inhumanly silver, grey, and humanly black and brown colors. I thought nothing of it, but I did find the skin colors very ugly because video games make lighter-skinned characters way more appealing than darker-skinned ones. So for the asshole incident, one of the FC members asked for our opinion on her outfit in the game. It was a picture of her very dark female lizard race, and I just commented, ""I would like it better if your character had lighter skin.""All hell broke loose and this led to me being accused of being prejudiced and biased. But I'm not, it's just my opinion. AITA?",AITA for how I talk about MMORPG skin color?,YTA
10zfqle,"As the title says I(18m) yelled at my sister(22).My niece(3) had dropped a cup I presume(I don't know the specifics because I was in my room). And my sister wanted her to pick it up. A reasonable request but my niece decided she didn't want to. She was avoiding it, saying she didn't want to, just generally not listening.I would've understood if my sister had to get a bit stern but a serious tone quickly snowballed into her yelling as loud as she could. I had felt that she yells at my niece too much in general, and she was being very excessive. So I decided to yell as loudly as I possibly could ""Shut the fuck you dumb bitch! Stop yelling! It solves nothing!"".I had also just done a few bong rips, not an excuse just additional context if it may be necessary. Edit: To clarify I smoke weed/rip bongs outside and in the garage which isn't connected to the main house. Some people in the comments were under the impression I just did it in my room or something.She went to my mom and asked ""What the fuck was that?"", put my niece to bed for being disobedient, and started bawling her eyes out.Then we had the following text conversation:   Sister: Don't ever swear at me in front of my daughter again, and mind your own damn business   Me: No you yell as much as dad or [our Aunt] and you know horrible they are and feel to be around   Sister: Doesn't mean you get to call me a fucking dumb bitch IN FRONT OF A 3 year old.   I really don't care how angry you are, there is absolutely no need for that. You can talk to me like a normal human being without the slander and name calling Before my next text I took a 5 minute pizza break and reflected on what just happened.   Me: I'm sorry for yelling and for swearing. I didn't mean to shame you or anything Im sorry for making you feel bad. I was just trying to think of how [My niece] feels. It's not that I'm annoyed with you and again I'm sorry for being mean. I definitely could've approached the situation better.Now I feel like I handled the fallout as best I could so far. This was a few hours ago. I'm not quite sure what tomorrow entails but I'm still wondering if I was in the wrong for what happened or if I could've handled it better. Well I recognize I could've handled it better I'd still like hear another opinion.Would it help if I provided more details about her, me, or our family in general?Edit: another clarification, people seem to assume I got in my sister's face. I was sitting on my couch in my room when I yelled. She's says I was in front her but I think she just meant I yelled at her while SHE was in front of her child.One of the reasons I yelled was because we weren't right beside each other.",AITA I(18m) yelled at my sister(22) as loud as I could for yelling at her daughter,ESH
10zfpqz,"I (22 f) just had a baby 2 months ago. I love and adore my baby cousin who is currently 5 y/o. Recently my 2month old baby tested positive for RSV. Prior, my baby cousin was very sick. She basically got the cold but had a very bad stuffy nose and cough. We had went on a small trip all together as a family and I was very stressed. My baby cousin loves my baby but she simply can’t keep her distance away from her. I tell her to not touch her hands nor to kiss her but she doesn’t listen. I told my parents to please not let my cousin get very close to the baby because I’m afraid she will get sick.  During the trip, (mind you all 8 of us were sharing a suite) I had left the baby with my parents to go shower and when I got out I see my baby cousin is holding my baby with her moms supervision… mind you she so sick she couldn’t breathe because of her stuffy nose. I didn’t say anything because I felt that if I had said something I would make my baby cousin sad and I don’t want to.    I would like to mention that her mom does tell her to wash her hands before touching her and to cover her mouth when coughing or sneezing. Throughout the trip she was just on top of the baby trying to grab her hands and they had let her hold her even though I had told them no one time. I understand that my parents don’t want to make my cousins feel bad but I just feel like my 2month old safety is first because she’s very small. Anyway, the day after we got back from the trip I started to feel sick and the baby began to cough and sneeze here and there. I didn’t start coughing until maybe nearly 5 days ago while my baby tested positive for RSV 3days ago.   Currently she’s not doing too good and is obviously having a really hard time breathing. I told my mom that starting from now if anyone in the family is sick , I don’t want them around the baby at all. I don’t care. She agreed and she even said no one can’t touch her hand nor hold her and kiss her. But my thing is that my very first child had to get a virus for you to agree with me??? Anyway, I want to have a talk with my cousins but I don’t want to be a bad guy saying that if my cousin is sick to not be near her since we all see each other often. Please let me know what you guys think.",AITA for wanting to tell my cousin to have her kid away from mine when she’s sick,NTA
10zbu36,"I’m not they type to get in arguments/ fights with anyone because I hold in my feelings a lot, so I F(13) and my cousin (F)A(13) using initial for privacy got into a argument recently because at school I always sit with my friends and she usually asks me to save her a seat when she does wanna sit with me but she hasn’t been at school because of whatever reason she has but that day she got pressed just because I didn’t save her a seat and that day my ex friend(she thought we where ex friends but we where just taking a break for a bit)So she texted me why didn’t you save me a seat, and a whole argument I told her that she has friends to sit with and that my friends didn’t want her to sit with us because it’s awkward she literally just stares at us.. so that happened she kept asking why I was sitting with my ex friend She asked I thought you didn’t like her and I told her to mind her own business I called her two faced and to never talk to me again. AITA?",AITA FOR BLOCKING MY COUSIN AFTER WE GOT IN A ARGUMENT?,ESH
10zflx7,"I 38F went to get my phones screen fixed at *insert decently known phone fixing store* and they have done a bad job in my opinion. But I feel like a Karen demanding they fix it.To be brief I broke my screen, small spiderweb at the bottom but *no other damage to the phone*(important for later). I was pretty bummed since the crack wasn't that big but did make the screen not turn on.  So I saved up 2 paychecks and went to the only store that had my screen in stock.  (The other 2 options it would take 7-10days to get a screen in no one would order without payment) I was kind of on borrowed time since I was using a buddies phone until I could fix mine.  It was going to be pricey compared to the other locations BUT I needed the phone fixed sooner not later so I paid.  In the process of fixing my screen they broke my backglass, well that sucks but hey shit happens and they said they'd replace it.  I get my semi fixed phone back and they forgot my sim card holder, I ride back get it and as I'm putting my phone together notice...hey it's a different color now.  OK not optimal but it'll have to do I guess. Silver sim slot black phone edge mismatch.A week goes by they get the back ""glass"" in and call to let me know.  But hey it's a different color it isnt silver but like grey/black. I think ok cool probably the black back glass itll match the sides now.  Go in they do the repair....bring me my phone.  Uh this isn't even glass its some.ugly cheap metal they got after market. It looks terrible and feels cheap.I tell the manager this he shruggs and says ""oh well"" and just walks to the back of the store ignoring me..... im trying to not make a scene but they haven't fixed my phone.  IT looks bad it's all a jumble of colors now and I'm pretty sure it's not worth anything.  I usually trade my phones in and I very much doubt I can now.  WIBTA for calling corporate and asking they please fix what they broke with a equal replacement!?  I feel like I would be TA because of the fear of having someone lose their job, or it being a Karen like move?  I'm a people pleaser at times though which is why I ask here.",WIBTA for demanding the store fix my phone?,NTA
10z5q5z,"I (f/17) drive with the bus to school since im 6 and the bus driver (male and about 45) knows me since im 6 and knows that i drive this bus everyday and pay. So like always i bought my ticket and listened to some music. Another busdriver who wasnt driving wanted to see me ticket i just bought. I really dont know why and i wasnt prepared for this because this never happened before. I dont often throw away my ticket and keep them in different places (school bag, wallet, jacket etc.) So i needed to search in a bunch of tickets who all look the same. I said to him that he knows i paid for that (otherwise i wouldnt have gotten into the bus) and that its only a 1€ ticket. He didnt took that well...Suddenly he says that i will have to pay hundreds of euros and if i dont find my ticket he will drag me to the police. He was very insulting and even said ""i know where you live"" in a creppy tone. Imagine a man double as big as me saying that. My sister (18/f) came and said its BS what he is doing and we just went inside our school together. After that he screamed something after me that i will never be allowed to be in his bus again (which is a problem because i still need to go to school )Well today i saw him today wanting to check my ticket in another bus. This time i was a little more prepared and just showed it to him and he wanted me to apologize (btw i didnt insulted him in any way, the opposite im pretty shy). He asked in a saracastic tone if a ""calmed down"" and demanded a apology. I had a pretty rough day at school and just didnt needed any BS anymore so i simply said in a calm tone ""i dont wanna have a disscussion now about this, here is my ticket you can go now"". Well he wanted a disscussion! After i told him again that i will not fight in a bus and i dont have anything else to add"". After that he called me TA and threat me again that ""NEXT TIME"" he will get me or something. AITA? Schould i have just apologized? And if so for what?Well i think that these people have a pretty shitty job but still...",AITA for not apologizing to the busdriver?,NTA
10zfim0,"I \[F22\] live in India and my LDR boyfriend \[M20\] lives in the UK. We've been together for 7 months and its honestly the first time I've been in a healthy relationship. My mom went through a horrible marriage and therefore it's understandable that she has trust issues, and having myself gone through some relationships which were terrible, she worries alot for me.It wasn't until 6 months into my current relationship that I finally told my mom about my LDR, and she was taken aback by this, since usually i share everything with her. I was empathetic and I told her all that she needed to know about him so that she gets a whole picture of what he’s like. I genuinely feel like this relationship is the one (i know it might be too early to say this) since we're so compatible in every sense, and i can be myself with him. I can't even be this free and open with my own mother, which is something that saddens me the most.My mother, having gone through all those tough times, has become very harsh and judgmental. She loves me to the fullest which i recognize, but I'll often find her telling me things like ""trust no one"" and ""you never know what he's up to so far away"" and ""men are all horrible"" and honestly i feel like she's always imposing her opinions on me. I'm not this kind of person, I like to see the good in everyone, and i take my experiences as lessons and try my best to not get hung over them.Just today, I told her how I tell him everything that's going through my head and how understanding he is, and how well he handles it, but instead she told me that i shouldnt trust him so openly and ""go crazy over a guy"" like that, and how I always cry in the end because I make poor choices. I told her that i'm never telling her anything about my life again because she always throws it back in my face to use as an argument. Now she's upset, saying things like ""you betrayed my trust by not telling me about your LDR from the start"" and all that. The truth is, it's because of her judgmental behaviour and constant need to micro-manage everything i do, that i didnt tell her anything about my relationship, and it had been going on smoothly.It's not like she cant see me being so happy. She knows enough. And she gets happy for me sometimes too. But suddenly she'll just randomly spoil my mood by saying negative things and triggering my trust issues which I took years to work and get over. All this based solely on the horrible people she's encountered so far. She has absolutely zero faith in my abilities and feels the need to monitor me even though time and again I have proved to her that I'm capable of making good decisions in different aspects of life.I end up forgiving her always and start sharing my life with her again and then a while after, she does the same thing again. This is why i want to gatekeep my relationship from her, even though it might hurt her that i'm keeping things from her. AITA here?",AITA for wanting to gatekeep my relationship from my mother?,NTA
10zffph,"Sorry for bad english because English is my second language.So, I bought a pencil case online and it's costs around 2 usd and the shipping fee is 2.24 usd (usd to the currency in my country is a lot).This is my first time online shopping and I told my older sister about it and she was fine with it until she heard the shipping fee.She exploded at me and lectured me and my mother heard she was yelling at me and she asked my sister what was wrong and my sister explained to her what I had done. And both of them yelled at me and soon my mother will tell my father so I guess I can add my father to the list of people scolding me.I cancelled the order but the seller still hasn't responded yet.The truth is my sister warned me about shipping fee but I thought it wasn't that big of a deal since the shipping fee is cheap to me but to them it was expensive and I understand that.I'm still just a teenager and i get anxiety when I'm being yelled at.So AITA?",AITA for buying something online with expensive shipping fee?,INFO
10zfb2g,"Background: This story was set when I was 13F ( so quite a while ago ), I am from a Mexican family, Quite small for my age and a great climber, ( This is important later on. )The story starts when I just left my French class and had 30 minutes of free time. I had decided to climb a tree ( cus I wanted to ) It was a big tree, easily 3 stories and really thick, even at the top. I was about 5 meters up when I felt something hard thrown at my back, I turn around and see 3 other middle school boys. All much bigger then me. They start laughing and I yell at them to stop, one of them chuckles and says "" What you gonna do? Climb back to your country? GO HOME BITCH "" another one says "" Yeah! Go home ( racial slur ) "" I looked down at them in disgust and pointed my middle finger and kept climbing because I was used to this kinda thing.The third kid ( I'll call him Devon ) scoffed and said "" I'm gonna kill you ( racial slur ) "" and started climbing up the tree. Me being a scared 13yr started climbing higher to try get away from him, While the other two kept throwing rocks while I scaled up the tree. They were screaming loudly at me and I was terrified. I reached the top of the tree, yet he was still coming up, In a panic a yelled loudly for help, screaming that he was gonna kill me, one teacher heard me and yelled back at me "" Don't be so dramatic, He's just playing, Boys will be Boys"" BOYS WILL BE BOYSI stood in shock for a moment, was this real? As I felt Devon grab my leg a panicked, grabbed one of the rocks his friends were throwing and smashed it into his hand.Devon let go and fell out the tree, The same teacher screams and demands I come down at once. I climbed down and she yelled at me so loudly I think I will never get her voice out of my mind. "" HOW COULD YOU? HES JUST BEING A BOY, YOU MEXICAN ( RACIAL SLURS ) THING YOU OWN THE PLACE JUST CUS YOU'RE ALLOWED IN OUR COUNTY? I'M GOING TO GET YOU EXPELLED, AND SENT BACK TO YOUR COUNTRY "" A part of me wanted to just close my eyes and try to wake up from this dream, sadly this is real life. I ran off, found a hidden area and cried my heart out. Half the school was looking for me and eventually a nice teacher ( I'll call him Mr pride) Found me, I explained the situation and he was enraged, He said I could stay in his office with him while he ' Sorts this out ' I grabbed a pen and paper and wrote down what just happened in full detail with names and everything, and sent the letter home to my family. To say they were furious was an understatement, we shared this news with EVERYONE in our home town. The next day I show up to school armed with posters and pepper spray and cover the entire school with posters of my story, and a  pedititon to get bad teacher fired. It didn't take long for it to spread like wildfire teacher was gone by next week.",AITA for getting my teacher fired and ruining my schools reputation?,NTA
10zf04f,"I'm very picky with the music I listen to because most of them tend to reflect and have a lot of influence over my state of mind so I tend to carefully curate playlists for them. In line with this, I've made use of the spotify block function in order to thoroughly filter music from artists I dislike either because I dislike their music or because their entire discography is filled with cacophonous and honestly overproduced sounds or because my morals do not align with said artist himself (i.e. the artist is a zionist and homophobe)—I block them for maximum avoidance. But apparently, according to some friends, I'm not supposed to do that because it's ""gross"" and ""disgusting"" of me to block artists I dislike (she's a fan of a singer I have blocked).I retaliated by saying that it's something normal to do when curating your playlist or any song you listen to and that since the block function is available, might as well make use of it and that she can do that too if she dislikes a certain artist (which I know she claims she does but she still always listens to their songs for some reason). She refuses to listen and keeps saying that I'm an *ssh*le who needs a reality check and our other friend thinks the same.I'm really confused because I thought this was a normal thing to do. AITA?",AITA for blocking an artist i dislike on music platforms,NTA
10zeyvm,"This just happened I was told to walk the dogs I said okay looked around for the leash and when I found it I took the leash to my big dog and put it on her I was told  by my dad to take both dogs out at once and switch big dog with small dog and (I know this may sound stupid and I’m the bad guy but listen) and I replied with no I don’t really do that anymore due to the big dog just standing out at the stairs and not listening to me and small dog pulling around trying to play with the big dog and all around being a pain (she isn’t leash trained) so my dad instantly after I said no replies with do it “fuck you, you fucking retard, do it or get grounded” In shock I reply with “uhh excuse me? No I stated my reasoning to not do it already I won’t because no one in the house bothers to leash train the small dog other than me” and I walk away to take big dog out into the yard to do dog stuff and when I get back in I get greeted with “your a fucking troll.” After this, this I may be the asshole for how I replied. And I reply back in a very angry tone saying “I’m the troll you got your dick in a twist over something small if you really wanted to be my dad like you say you do, than act like it because if you don’t you will never see me again!” And I walked away in anger to take small dog out. And I get a dirty look from my grandmother as I walk away and get called a disappointment by her. And I walk up the stairs to feed My Guinea pig.",AITA for saying no to my dad?,NTA
10zer7q,"Im close to my college graduation and my parents want me to wear my graduation gown when i come back from graduation to show off the neighbors/ neighborhood ect.  They dont really talk to anyone in the neighborhood anyways. I personally don't care what they think as i barely know anyone that lives there and i don't feel anything by ""showing off "" this way in fact i would feel embarrassed. My parents on the other hand  see this a a sense of pride. Should i feed into there egos by doing this.  i didn't see me saying no as a big deal until my mom got mad after i said i wouldn't.  I simply want graduate go on a small dinner with my family and don't care about any 'congratulations' or stares from the neighborhood.",WIBTAH for not wearing graduation gown?,NTA
10zaopa,"So I (29M) am a homeowner, and rent to my brother (27M). We have always been close and supported each other, but over the past few years I’ve been in the position to help him out quite a bit. I rent to him in my home for a good price, and while he was job searching, I was able to waive rent and enable him to search for as long as he needed to find the job that he was most excited about. Here’s where I may be TA. My brother sometimes treats himself with a large frozen pizza at the end of a long day. It smells amazing, and I really feel like the world is a more beautiful place when we all share. I’ll often ask him for a bite, and he will refuse. He says he’s hungry, he hasn’t eaten all day, and this is his pizza. He has more food! The fridge and pantry are full of snacks, he could easily make more food if he’s still hungry. I feel like I’m his brother. We love each other, and we’ve helped eachother out a lot. I will also sometimes cook and save him leftovers or make extra for him. We really are best friends, and I’m happy to do what I can for him. All I want is for him to occasionally share some of his delicious dinner with me. So… AITA?",AITA for asking my brother for a bite of his pizza?,YTA
10zakwi,"My (51M) roommate (61M) eats a lot of finger food - tacos, burritos etc and he picks up the TV remote with his fingers covered in greasy food bits and slime and gets it all over the remote. He does this every time he eats in the living room - at least a few times per week if not daily.This started about a year ago when he started eating meals in the common living room. (He used to eat in his bedroom, where he has a smallish apartment setup with an easy chair and TV). He knows damn well by now that it pisses me off, yet every day, I find the remote slimed. I've tried everything I can think of to get him to stop doing it, to the point now where I just feel like I'm beating him up and it's beyond even talking about.I see the remote thing as part of a larger issue of general cleanliness, chore balance in the household, boundaries and respect.We've been living together for 6 or 7 years, and I think that over that time period, we've both changed in ways that have brought these issues up. I think I've become cleaner and more responsible, while he's become lazier, and we've fallen into this dependent relationship where I do everything - I buy all of the household supplies, take care of the entire house, and I'm constantly cleaning up after him, especially in the kitchen after he prepares food.Basically he's a slob and I'm his fucking mother, and I'm over it. We've had talks, discussions, arguments, and blow-ups over all of it, ad-naseum. He's getting better about helping out with doing dishes and general chore stuff, but he still can't clean up after himself on the daily.We had a slight blowup about the remote again tonight and he's currently in his room. It's his way of letting me know he's pissed at me.I'm ready to kick him out and go it alone. So I guess this is a two-part post:AITA for being angry about the remote?and:WIBTA if I kicked him out over the larger issues of respect and boundaries?",AITA for blowing up at roommate over food-slimed TV remote/WIBTA if I kicked him out over bigger issues?,NTA
10zaj2y,"Sorry for my bad english here, it is not my first language. Me and my bf have a lot of common interests, but most of the time we do things he likes. I enjoy them to, but some of them I like just because I do it with him. I'm not interested on my own. But then I want to do some of more my stuff, he often doesn't want to participate. I know that he has the right to not like the stuff I like, but it is really upsetting for some reason, I would really love these things even more if he was with me and I feel like he isn't trying enough. Also, I have BPD and I know it is not an excuse, but because of it I can spiral out of control from ""he doesn't like things I like"" to ""he doesn't like me"". Every few times he rejects my offer to do smt together I get really upset, sometimes it causes panic attacks and mental breakdowns. We talked a lot about this, but did not find any compromises. He knows about my mental health problems, but it is his right to not participate. He can't help it if he doesn't want to do stuff, but I can't deal with my emotions either. And then I get upset he sees that and also gets upset and now everuone is sad, wven though no one did enything wrong.AITA for being upset and dumping these emotions on him?",AITA for arguing with my bf because he doesn't want to do things I like?,NTA
10zacez,"My (18M) sister (16F) and I have always had our differences. She dislikes my argumentative nature and my trouble managing my anger, while I dislike her sense of humor and her sporadic nature. However, before this goes any further I want it to be clear that I love my sister and I know she loves me.So like I said, I have some trouble dealing with my anger. That generally does not pair well with a distaste in a certain sense of humor, but I don’t think I’m in the wrong in this instance.Today, my sister and I were driving home, and I had just picked her up from work as she does not have her license yet. I really don’t mind picking her up, it didn’t really off set my mood. We started to drive and talking about my managers and her managers. Now here’s where her sense of humor begins. You see, recently I told my sister that she is not a very good liar. This is true, because when she lies, it’s something that I know she would lie about. However, she seemed to take that as a challenge to convince me of random things whenever for no reason. She does it in a joking manner, but will tell me some believable story about her friend, or (in this case) the name of a manager I do not work with. Of course I believe it, then she either laughs at me and asks why I would think that was true, or add on to the story until it is so ridiculous that it’s obviously a lie.Tonight was just the same and I snapped. I told her that if she is going to act all offended by me accusing her of lying and not knowing what to believe, which she has done quite recently, then why wouldn’t she stop lying about stupid things? She retaliated with the fact that she had not acted offended in this instance, which to her credit is true. However, I still feel that I am relatively justified in my reaction solely because of the annoying, unnecessary lying.My only concern is that I know that I can be just as much of a pain to her as she can to me. My other family member’s try to not really take a side, understanding where I am coming from but also saying that it is just her way of kidding around. We have had other problems in the past and I have voiced them to her, however it feels as though she would change how she acts for any one of her friends before she would for me. I really don’t know, AITA?",AITA for being upset here??,NAH
10z5lt8,"So once after a night out I was gonna stay the night with my friend. Her sister was gonna sleep there as well, and we met one of their friends who asked to stay as well and she said yes.We had spend the last hours of the night with her sister and friends and had a great time. Once we got back he asked if someone would go outside with him while he had a cigaret so I said sure. While we were outside he suddenly crapped me forcing his hand into my pants. I pushed him quickly and went to go inside he then trapped my arm pulling me back forcing his hand into my pants again. Again I pushed him away trying to go inside and I get to open the door before he grabs my arm againI’m in such shock and stuck at my friends place because there was no way for me to get home I didn’t sleep all night. I cried when I got home the day after.About a week later I told her. She was shocked and said she was sorry. She has promised we will never be the same place again but she has stayed friends with him. It’s so hard for me to understand, I’ve cut people out I know have sexually assaulted someone before I met them, because I want nothing to do with someone who would do that.So here is my question. AITA for struggling with the fact that she has stayed friends with him?",AITA for not wanting my friend to be friends with,NTA
10z7845,"I 23F am planning to visit one of my relatives. My father really doesn’t like this relative and has told me not to visit them before. Basically, my father and this relative do not get along well. In fact, they do not speak with each other at all.I have not told my parents that I am planning to leave and that I am going to visit this relative. It’s just that I currently live at home and it has become bad for my mental health. Living at home has become difficult so I would like to leave for a few days. I feel that my dad may get mad at me for leaving and going to stay with this relative. I don’t know if I would be the one in the wrong here.Would I be the asshole for staying with a relative that my dad doesn’t like?",WIBTA for visiting a relative my dad doesn’t like?,NTA
10z6pvs,"To start: obligatory sorry for formatting, I'm on mobile. Tldr at end.I (19F) and my roommate (20F) have been renting a house together since August. The house has a driveway that per our lease is ours alone. Since the driveway is only big enough for 1 car, though, and my roommate and I each have a car, the other car usually gets parked on the street in front of our house, in a spot that nobody else used for the first couple of months we lived here.At the end of November, the neighbors (~50 M and F with i don't know who else living/staying with them) started parking their own cars in that spot. Roomie and I brushed it off, then, figuring they just had people staying with them for Thanksgiving, as they had several extra cars around their house then. The same was true through the beginning of January, but again with the holidays and all, we didn't mind much.Now, the ""extra"" cars are gone, except for one that I think belongs to their daughter, but they still keep parking in front of our house. They have space for 2-3 cars on the street in front of their house, and a driveway long enough for an additional 2-3 cars. Currently they have 3 cars. 2 are parked on the street in front of their house, while the 3rd is on the street in front of mine. None are in the driveway. This is the case about 3/4 of the time lately (or when only one vehicle is on the street in front of their house it is typically positioned in such a way that it is impossible to park another car in that area safely. But either way, the spot in front of my house is only available for me or my roommate about 1/4 of the time). Nobody else is allowed to park in their driveway, of course, and aside from the areas in front of our respective houses, there are no places we can park until much further up the street.Roomie and I have asked them to at least make sure there's room in one area or the other for us to park in whenever possible, but nothing has changed, so now I've reached the point where I want to start demanding they stop parking in ""our"" spot, even though I know Roomie and I aren't actually entitiled to that spot in any way. The whole thing just feels petty and I'm ready to be done with it.So, Reddit, WIBTA?Tl;dr: neighbors make it impossible for both roommate and I to park in front of our house. I want to demand they stop parking in ""our"" spot, even though it isn't really ours.Edit: Ok, I get it, I would be TA. I really don't think I ever actually planned on doing it, and I think I knew it would be wrong from the start. I guess I more just wanted to vent, and gauge people's reactions. Thanks for the responses, and for those that offered suggestions. I know I can't make demands, but hopefully we can at least work something out.Anyway, thanks, y'all, for bringing me back down to earth and reminding me that making stupid demands won't help in any way to ""win"" anything, even a petty fight with people older than my parents. I hope y'all have a great day/night/whatever it is for you when you see this.","WIBTA for demanding my neighbor stop parking in ""my"" spot?",YTA
10zdgp9,"ok so I 15 (f) was talking to 2 of my friends and saying how much I dislike toxic people. and i brought up a person that we all knew and said i thought that she was toxic mainly by how she acted and treated others including myself. one friend (f) had known the toxic friend - who we’ll call M 15 (f) - for years since elementary school. i didn’t think about how she would have felt or wasn’t even expecting her to tell M. i just kinda went on a rant and couldn’t stop myself. to sum up on why i thought M was a toxic friend, shed make fun of people i considered good people and my friends. She’d made me feel bad for needing help in math class and kept going on and on abt how embarrassing it was, all while knowing that i needed help in school. As in i was ina special education class. She’d asked me in a passive aggressive way why i was upset when nothing was wrong but she kept on asking. as if to spite me. that pissed me off so i rlly was starting to get upset and gave her an attitude and she was bitchy to me the rest of the day. and lastly she’s flat out ignore me and give me 2-3 worded answers if i was trying to conversate with her and would only talk to other people. She made me feel bad abt myself. And made rude comments and laughing at people behind their backs which just rubbed me that wrong way. Our mutual friend who we’ll call A had recorded my rant and sent it to M and M had her friends ask me why i was “talking sht abt M” i told them plain and simple. she was a toxic person in my opinion. i wasn’t trying to talk sht abt her. i never wanted to say anything. She finally messaged me and i explain to her in detail and with hardcore evidence on why i thought of her the way i did. she only backed up one of the reasons and she had said “you have been a fake friend this whole time your always talking sht abt me to (whoever).” which i ask when because the only time is when i’d says she seemed moody and our mutual friends would agree. that’s all. she never answered my question. i told her i didn’t mind being not being friends and she replies “who said we were friends” which ok you have but whatever.After i tell her my side i say i’m sorry for making her feel that way and that it was never my intention to hurt her i just didn’t like her morality in life. at all. she then unadded me and we don’t talk which is fine but do worry that maybe i was too harsh.",AITA for calling a friend who i don’t like toxic?,ESH
10zcs8f,"Me (M14) and my friend (M13) have hung out together since 5th grade and now in 8th I’ve just started noticing some problems for example one thing that he does that’s annoying is at lunch we have a strict clean up rule if it’s in your space you clean it up well my friends takes advantage of this seeing whenever a lunch monitor starts to walk over and put all his trash on my plate causing me to throw away his piles of chip bags, candy wrappers, etc. Well today he was being a little bit more annoying at lunch by constantly calling me a “female dog” whenever I talk to the person next to me causing to be extra annoyed then he pulls his regular stunt putting his half eaten apple on my plate well I was in a bit of a mood right now so I yell at him and say how about you throw it away.I proceed to throw the apple at him planning to hit his body or somewhere other than his face but I have bad aim and I hit big salad sitting near him dumping all of its contents on him dressings, hard boiled eggs, and olives the whole enchilada. After the missed throw I feel bad and apologize for almost a minute straight then seeing a smile on his face I think that we may be able to laugh this off so I start to giggle under my breath he obviously hears me and his smile turns into a blank stare he then stands up reaches into his backpack and pulls out a fresh cold water bottle. I didn’t process what was going on it time but he whips the bottle at me getting not only me wet but my food and my belongings. He starts screaming at me making a scene saying that I play too much and I need to learn when to relax. I try walking away but him and two other of our mutuals start following me screaming about how I need to learn when it’s not time and when it is time to joke around. I then avoided said “friend” for the rest of the day.",AITA for dumping a salad on my friend,ESH
10z5dxb,"Recently, I was taking the subway home from work.When I got in the car, somebody was smoking and it reeked of weed - to the point where at the first stop I switched cars.Generally speaking, I don't care if people smoke on the subway, even though the subway forbids smoking inside. Even weed, if people choose to smoke at home away from others, that's none of my business. When I got to my stop, I called the non emergency line to report it. I don't want the people smoking brutalized by police or something, but I don't want my subway to reek whenever I get on and I don't want to smell like weed. Frankly, I think if you choose to smoke weed in such a blatant manner, on the subway, in public, you sort of accept whatever legal consequences there might be. AITA?",AITA for calling the non emergency line on people smoking weed on the subway?,YTA
10zg8tw,"So freshman year of college, I began working on this project casually. I like to keep notes on men I talk to about their favorite things, activities they enjoy, gifts/candy they like, sappy shit like that. I suck at remembering things like that so I decided to keep a spreadsheet.Eventually after getting a handful of entries. I offhandedly mentioned it to my friend group. One had the idea that I share it with them so we could all keep new entries as they “caught” different entries.So, this expanded further. Right now, about 40 girls have access to it and it’s mainly the girls in my sorority, and the guys featured are men from different fraternities. We also added more information such as like where you should take them if you really wanna impress them. We don’t keep this information for any nefarious reasons.Just to help us know what to do if we want to impress certain dudes. Like the original idea of this was just to keep information like favorite color so I didn’t every forget their favorite colors. Now it’s helping a lot of guys.Somehow, a guy who was on the list found out and he was creeped out and angry. He was eventually able to trace it back to me so I assume someone who was simping for him snitched when the Pokédex wasn’t making the guy like him.So he’s pissed off and she made it out to be a guide to hooking up with men, when it’s most definitely not that. It’s just to make impressing them on dates easier. That’s it. He’s made a big deal of this telling so many guys around campus and now they’re all saying that by the start of the fall semester, none of them will be visiting our sorority or going to our parties.Now all the girlies are mad at me, when I’m not even the one who told the guys about the list, and they were all also using the list. I also think it’s unfair to say the list was all about sex when it wasn’t at all.AITA?",AITA for cataloging specifics about dudes at my university?,YTA
10zc7vo,"Am I the asshole if I make my brother and sister (11 and 10) Pay for using my stuff.I (15M) had a family gathering and I was busy helping my parents for the function then when I was busy my cousins (10- 11) took the juice I got that I said I would share and drank it all. My sister(10 F) also revealed my phone's passcode and my brother spent all my gems on my free coc account. They also broke the skateboard I got. My parents are on their side and they said they will pay for them But I insist that they should pay. It costs around 10 usd total. But, it is a huge amount in my country I will also confront the cousin that broke the skate board and ask for a new one. My dad is saying he paid for the skateboard and he will handle it.I have let them go away with enough things from confronting their bullies to doing their school work when they were busy. I am now out for blood and I will not stop at any cost. I will go nc with my brother after this. But, I will still talk with my sister as she is the only one who I can talk to without being judged. I just want to be loved. I am in tears writing this. (I had also saved up the gems over a 3 month period.)Edit 1: I changed my phone's password and the parents deduced the money and gave it to me. I was harsh and said to go nc. But, I will try to mend the relationship slowly. Thanks for the advice and support.",WIBTA I will not stop,YWBTA
10z6p7o,"i (19f) live with two roommates (19f & 21f), i'm going to talk about 21f. when we started college back in 2021, we all ended up enjoying each other as friends and kept staying friends. we're all currently in our 2nd year and in our first apartment outside of school.after really getting to know them for almost 2 years now, i've realized that 21f has this weird thing where she likes to keep what she's doing a secret. i understand that everyone can have their privacy but after living together for almost 2 years, i would say that brings people pretty close. i respect her privacy but up to this point, it just feels so suspicious and strange living with her and it makes me uncomfortable to even tell her things that i'm doing.we go to an arts school so she enjoys doing creative things like taking dance classes, doing outside clubs, meeting people etc.all three of us have had this conversation before, but i guess it still feels strange to me. to me, friendship is when we can share accomplishments and feel free to speak freely about things that we're doing in our lives. my friendship with 21f now doesn't feel anything like that like it did before moving into an apartment.even asking an innocent question of ""where are you heading?"" before she left the door started to become a struggle because she would hesitate on answering the question before carefully saying what she was doing. i've stopped asking the question cause her reactions make me uncomfortable.when all of us as roommates have talked about this, she has stated that ""i don't like to tell people what i'm doing"" because growing up, her parents had never asked her what she's doing when she goes out.just now, as i was sitting at my desk, she comes over to tell me ""bye"" in a way that sounded like she was leaving for a while. i was confused why she was saying bye, and she tells me shes going to another state for the weekend to do something as if she expected me to react super happy for her. i've asked her what it was for, what kind of event bla bla blaafter she continued to be incredibly vague about everything, i was left in confusion and i just said ""alright have fun"" and turned away. she's known about my feelings towards how she's been telling me things so i can't really fake happiness for her when i don't understand what's going on, if that makes sense. she tells me not to be upset about this and i tell her i'm not. i'm just genuinely confused.update: now she's just text me that this isn't a personal thing, she doesn't like to tell people about things she could get rejected from such as competitions, auditions, etc. but for me, she acts like this on regarding various subjects and i feel like i can't talk to her normally anymore. i feel like i'm constantly being invasive based on her reactions so it's almost as if i just decided to stop talking to her cause just asking questions is uncomfortable to me.AITA for being cold towards her in that last interaction? i've never dealt with a friend like this before :(",AITA for being cold towards my roommate/friend?,YTA
10zay87,"I (19F) and my friend Ella (fake name) (19F) are both friends with (fake name) Clara and have been for 6 years. Recently Clara has been going through a toxic situationship where he says very cruel things, that are ableist (I wont go into details for privacy reasons). He also emotionally cheated on his long distance girlfriend. Neither me nor Ella approved, and Ella is especially close. Well, after a few months the guy ended things because he wasn’t ready for a relationship. He wants her to wait but he is still allowed to see other people, but not Clara. Clara has since been heavily drinking I assume to cope along with her depression. (She still talks to this man). She tells us she wants to drink as early as 10-11am. I told her to see a counsellor - this counsellor told her to go out and drink with friends rather then alone. (I personally thing that was highly inappropriate). I stated that a counsellor wouldn’t encourage drinking and I don’t think this is a good idea. She said “She’s a counsellor so she must be right, I am just following her instructions”. She later posted her drinking at home and I called her out for it. She’s been ignoring me since.Ella recently messaged her saying this is concerning you shouldn’t be drinking and getting high all the time and this early. She said it was begging to seem like alcoholism. Clara got angry and said she could stop at any time, Ella claimed she was just concerned about her friend. Clara has since been ignoring us and posting petty snapchat stories about her being an alcoholic. The most recent one is her saying “I am going to drink and smoke with my alcoholic friends”, excluding Ella from posts, and hanging out with old friends who previously ghosted her. AITA for agreeing with Ella and confronting her?",AITA for telling my friend her drinking is borderline alcoholic?,YTA
10z6ffl,"I (21 m) work at a educational centre with a few others and other management members, a few months ago a colleague of mine (23f)  mentioned how she would be perfect for a promotion that should be public soon, as she was ""studying"" to get the qualifications needed sponsored by our workplace, however few days later she mentioned something bout someone was doing her assignments and her basically sitting around and do nothing. Fast forward to about a month or 2 ago, she literally stopped doing certain tasks one by one till she ended up doing barley one task a week, I spoke to management about and they told me they will take care of it, surprise they didn't, instead I had to do the extra work load problem continued to grow as other colleagues got annoyed and started doing the same till I ended up doing everyone's tasks to keep us a float with everything once again I spoke to management which did absolutely nothing, so I decided to start guilt tripping them to do it which has proven to be useful so far. However as soon as she started doing a few of her tasks again she proceeds to call me out on anything I do or have wrong infront of from having  a bit of a unibrow to forgetting to turn on a screen one morning. Here's the kicker she has been working for this company for about 3 yrs and one of her parents is a manager so I am almost certain she'll get the promotion even if she doesn't deserve it. Last week the promotion applications opened and she had a mischievous look on her face while applying (yes I applied aswell as I too have the qualifications needed) however I m almost certain that this girl will get the promotion because of her mother.And ngl I am seriously considering quitting if she gets promotion as she already is a bossy useless individual as is and having her as my supervisor means it will get worse....(Disclaimer; most of my colleagues agree that she doesn't deserve it however we all feel like there's nothing we can really do about it)1# Should I expose her for not doing her own assignments?2# What should I do?3# Should we start a petition if she gets the promotion?",WIBTA if i expose my colleagues?,NTA
10z678x,"So my partner has recently become obsessed with singing. I have thirty years experience so we have a lot of instruments and stuff at home, but I’ve really fallen off the bandwagon (pun intended). He’s not very good but he’s just starting out. Everyone can get better and I’m trying to help him do so.  I Can always hear him because the apartment is very small.Problem is he’s taken to practicing badly all the time. He’s constantly trying to hit notes singing and he’s usually off by a half step. He uses a tuner to try to match the tone but I have explained to him the tuner is picking up the instrument. He’ll ask me for feedback and show me the exercises he finds online while refusing to do the ones I propose (the ones he’s found are good for singers but they assume you can already hit the pitches).We fight about this constantly. He asks me to come see what he’s doing, and he sings on the piano. I’ll tell him he’s sharp or flat, and then he calls me impossible because the tuner says he’s right (even though the tuner is picking up the instrument). If he sings without the tuner he’s completely off but then he claims the tuner isn’t working, and that I’m not even giving him a chance to hit the note…in ten seconds. I get upset and tell him that my ear can hear he’s off, so he should trust me rather than a machine he himself claims isn’t working half the time.I’ll apologize for being impatient and explain I am trying to support his goal and he’ll pick a fight that my standards are too high, when in my eyes he will never get better without decent feedback. Rinse and repeat.So Reddit AITA for telling him when he’s not hitting the key? This has been going on for two months and I just want to know if I’m being unreasonable.",AITA for providing singing feedback to my partner?,NTA
10za4un,"I 28F live with my Bf 30M and roommate 36MI.... Have never been able to smell, I dunno why/how but I don't know what anything smells like, my nose no longer works, be it from what I used to do for work or from when I was younger. I couldn't tell you, I just know I don't know the difference between a sweet candle and wet dog. Our roommate has Decided I'm faking it, he's told me he thinks I'm faking it and will prove I'm faking it.He asks what something smells like, if this smells, if that smells. Sometimes once a week, sometimes twice in an hour. Be it home, at stores, or out with friends. Today, I'm in our room, relaxing, scrolling through reddit, and my bf playing on the computer. Roommate comes in, asks if the washer still smells. As it apparently smells like mildew. My bf took his headset off to respond, but roommate stops him and says *No I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to her! Put your headset back on"" I look at him and he says "" Well? Does it? "" And I respond, rather snippy cause I'm tired of being asked, that I dunno. I can't smell it. He goes "" are you getting mad at me? For asking a question?! "" And I say I'm annoyed I have to keep repeating myself. He says "" Well I'm sorry I can't remember. It's not my job to remember. But you don't need to hold a tone"" acting hurt and apologizing over and over that 'he just can't remember! It's not something he needs to remember' and I need to forgive him. My bf told our roommate to f off and now he's upset that I'm "" Mad "" about something he can't control, bf thinks he's being a whiny jerk.He's told our neighbors, my friends he meets, and people at stores that I can't smell. Yet he claims he can't remember when he tries to get me to sniff something.Roommates daughter came by tonight, as her dad's upset. She says I need to be patient with him, as all the drugs he used when he was younger have made his memory very bad and his social skills drop. It's Friday right now. He asked me this question on Monday as well, he called Wednesday to ask if the bathroom air freshener was nice, since he got a new one.It feels like I'm being mocked at times. My best friend thinks the roommate is just teasing cause he likes me, but doesn't want to step on my bfs toes.AITA for being annoyed by this????? Feels like I'm going insane",AITA For having an annoyed tone towards my roommate,NTA
10z8wx4,"I (14ftm) have a strained relationship with my dad (45m). He is basically every -phobic under the sun that doesn't involve actual fear, but just hate. I have been dealing with this for a long time, but last night put the icing on the cake. Me and my sister were gonna eat leftovers, but my mom had been on the phone with her friend, so she hadn't heated up dinner so it was up to me to heat up me and my sister's food. I put in my sister's for about 6 minutes and it was sizzling so i figured it was done and that she could come and get it when she was ready. My mom came over and said that it was still cold and my dad blew up on me. He went on about how i was gonna give my sister cold food, and how i was selfish because as long as i had my food it was fine. I started to cry because every day of my life i always work to take care of everyone other than myself, i haven't even had a solid 3 meals a day in over a week. I just shook my head and went to the bathroom. I came back and ate my dinner, and went to take a shower. After my shower, i was still feeling pretty shitty so I just stayed in my room and scrolled through tiktok to kinda take my mind off of it. After like 2 hours of me feeling like shit because of what happened, my dad came in my room and said ""Im going to bed, im sorry for yelling at you, its just that you need to take better care of your mom and sister"" and i started crying and he hugged me and i didnt wanna be weird so i hugged back and just started sobbing. He expects me to take care of my mom and my sister every day of my life and when i do something for me Im the bad guy. I told my best friend what happened and they told me ""What? You literally work so hard, why is he giving you shit?"", but when i tried to tell my mom how i felt about it, and how i was still angry at him, she just said ""He's your dad, and you're overreacting, you need to stop taking shit so personal"" and i proceeded to get mad at her for that because she just doesn't know how it is for me. i have severe anxiety and depression that sometimes gets so bad i can barely get out of bed. I need an outside opinion so tell me, am i overreacting or is my anger justified?",AITA for not heating up my sister's food all the way?,NTA
10z8te8,"I (28M) went on a weeklong trip to the French Alps with my roommate (28F) and a group of friends in mid-January. On the first day, she had a severe skiing accident, was helicoptered to a hospital where she stayed for 10 days before being med flighted back to the US. I was at her bedside the entire time and have fully supported her through her recovery at home. As a doctor myself, I was actively involved in all of her medical care, as well as followup appointments. She is now independent and on a route to full recovery. We have one friend in the area that is here to help her. Now that we’re a few weeks out, a group of my guy friends invited me to a local ski trip for a weekend. I haven’t gotten to ski yet this season because my roommate (also my fiancée) got injured the first day of the trip. AITA for going skiing after her injury?",AITA for going skiing,YTA
10z6oel,"I commissioned an artist to make a perler bead model of my oc back in October. At first the artist was really nice and helpful, throughout the past four months i’d ask for an update and they’d be informative. They made a 3D version of the model to show me how it’d look, but that’s all i got. Now it’s February and i messaged the artist today asking if at this point i could just have a refund since it’s been so long. They told me that the supplies to make my model would be there soon, and asked if i could be patient. That’s when i got a little frustrated and i admit i could’ve said things better but here’s what i said word for word, “Okay but i’m still not happy about. Like it’s literally been 4 months and i haven’t heard any updates from you throughout all of that time i always had to reach out to you to get an update. im almost certain that if i wasn’t reaching out right now and asking for my money back you would’ve just let me forget about it. i am very disappointed in your service” They then came back and said all of this,“I actually wouldn’t have. The reason why I haven’t been giving any updates is because there’s been no updates to give. I’m not one to just take money and run because that’s not how I run my business. Actually, with my beads coming in today, I would’ve told you and all of my clients that they came in and shown a photo of such. Then I would’ve gotten to work on the models. I can’t control how fast my materials come in, especially when they’re coming in from another country that had to pause shipping things out due to New Years happening in their country. Believe me, I’m just as frustrated with not being able to work as working is my life’s blood. Many things just haven’t been falling into place as much as I’d like them to be. I’m very good with giving updates and WIPs if there’s any to be given, there just hasn’t been. I’m not sure you’d want to hear “the beads haven’t come in yet” every week. I for one would find that stressful and draining to receive. You can talk to all my past clients and they will let you know that I’m really speedy once my materials actually come in as it only takes 8hrs to make a full model. Like I said, the wait was literally due to something I couldn’t control.”I’m trying to be understanding but i’m so tired of this. Also is it not weird that they took a commission without having the supplies in the first place or is that just me? I don’t really know so, AITA? I have all out chats saved if anyone would like to read them all i’ll make an imgur link in the comments",AITA for waiting on a commission for 4 months and finally getting mad about it?,NTA
10z6n0z,"Names changed btw.Matt and I had been close friends, like brothers. We were both early twenties at the time and had been friends since our mid to late teens. We became really close in that time. We hung out a lot, went for drinks, played video games, I helped him and his fiance with moving troubles and other things they needed. I helped with their wedding even. I would say I considered him a best friend. Then one day after we had hung out and had some wings and beer at a sports bar, he texts me the next day saying that he can't hang out or talk to me anymore. I press as to why because I'm devastated. He says it's because his wife told him not to. I had no clue why, I never had an issue with her, there wasn't a fight or anything. Just, boom! Yall can't be friends. It sent me down a bad mental path that I got out of with time because it felt like I lost a brother. Then one day or of the blue he contacts me again like nothing ever happened, we didn't talk anything out, say why it happened, he just acted like everything was how it was before. I couldn't do it, after a couple of times talking and texting I stopped responding to any of his calls or texts. I was angry at his wife and whatever dumb reason she had for ending our friendship and hurt by him because it felt like he just threw everything away and then when it was better for him/her just pop back into my life like nothing happened. At this point I've moved on, I have a new friend group and I'm not looking to have him as a friend. He still sends me texts every now and then but I never respond. If I were to talk to him I couldn't do it without bringing up what happened, his wife and how she and he hurt me. I don't want to cause any issues between them, and I wouldn't want to rekindle the friendship so I don't feel it would be fair to bring it up and cause conflict between them for basically nothing. If I wanted to be friends or even acquaintances again that would be different to me. I've called myself an asshole because of this to anyone I've talked to about it but I feel like it's better this way. What do yall think?",AITA? Because I kinda feel like it,NTA
10zde0k," For context here, this happened at my school library in the evening (8 PM) with my friends and I‘m a junior in high school. (Grade 11)At my school library, we have these mini rooms that have doors and are fully enclosed so that you can talk without disturbing others. I enter the library and I see my friends in one of these rooms and I go over to say talk to them. As I’m talking to them, we’re making lots of noises and because I left the door open, the library can hear us. A librarian comes over and asks us to quiet down. This is the conversation I had with the librarian:Librarian: You guys are being too loud. The sound of you guys is echoing throughout the whole library.Me: Sorry, we‘ll close the door.Librarian: These rooms are not soundproof. The library can still hear you.Me: Sorry. We’ll quiet down. (Starts to close door and librarian starts to walk away)Me: Do you want us to put muffles over our mouths to quiet down? (Door closes)Librarian walks away and comes back 10 seconds later. She is clearly pissed and not happy.Librarian: I would like to ask for an apology. It's either you don't talk back to me or you leave the library.Me: I sincerely apologize for what I've said and our loud noise.Librarian walks away5 minutes my friends and I leave library.**Tldr: My friends are being noisy in a library. Librarian comes over and tells us to quiet down. I jokingly suggest that I should put a muffle over my mouth. Librarian becomes pissed and asks for an apology.**AITA?",AITA for suggesting that I put muffles over my mouth to a librarian after being told to quiet down?,YTA
10zrvth,"Last night my girlfriend and I went to a party my fraternity was hosting. I am currently trying to limit the amount of alcohol I am drinking so I can cut, but my girlfriend was not so we had very different drinking habits there.During the 3 or 4 hours we were there I had like 3 white claws while my girlfriend drank to get drunk with her girls that were there. Eventually we got to a point where it was very clear my girlfriend wasn’t doing well, so I decided to drive her home.Like I said she was very drunk, so she was wasn’t walking straight, was a bit incoherent  and once we left the house, she threw up in the bushes. I was there with her the whole time and asked one of our pledges to get me some water and Gatorade for her.While we were waiting, these two random girls ran up on us and were trying to talk to us. I’m convinced one was on something as she was convinced she was friends with my girlfriend and said that she’d take her home. I explained the situation and told her that I would be taking her home. The girls wouldn’t leave us alone and despite me telling them that my girlfriend is in fact my girlfriend, they refused to believe us. My girlfriend was again off her ass and was in her own drunk world and wasn’t being helpful. Eventually I just grabbed my girlfriend and tried to get to my car so we could leave but these two girls refused to let me leave. They literally stood in front of me and tried to pull my girlfriend off of me. I was trying to push through them and they would not let me go. At this point I was so fucking tired of whatever dumb shit they were trying to do so I went off.I told them that they needed to get the fuck out of my way. I told them that they’re need to leave me and my girlfriend alone before they do something they regret. They decided to continue be dicks about this and I walked through them. I finally got my girlfriend to my car and they continued to bitch at me and were telling me to leave my girlfriend alone. Finally some of my brother saw us and came and distracted them while I got my girlfriend into the car and was able to drive off.This morning I got multiple DM’s about what happened from one of the girls that attended the party. She explained that she knew the girls they thought my girlfriend was ”in danger” and they wanted to help her. She demanded I apologize to them for how I acted, yelling at them and walking through them.AITA?",AITA for yelling some chicks that were preventing me from taking my drunk girlfriend back to her place?,NAH
10zm5a7,"Hi, using a throwaway. I'll provide a bit of background but I'm not going into more detail to be concise.Also I'm 22f if anyone wants to knowMy dad, to put it simply, was not a good dad and an even worse husband. Yeah we had food, a home, a comfy bed to sleep in etc, and dad said that he takes care of us because he's obligated to. He'd scream at my mom, say we're disrespecting him at the tiniest things and his position as the man of the house. And although he didn't say it outright, it was clear he considered mom, me and my sisters beneath him and his ""real"" (birth) family. He was always the victim and always right. We grew up in this toxic environment and mom put up with it for the sake of playing happy families in front of everyone. She did eventually divorce him a few years ago, though. So dad is getting married again. I said I'm not attending the wedding and acting like the loving daughter, for obvious reasons.He got really upset and said I'm holding onto small things from childhood, and his fiancee's kids will be there to support her, and he would like his own kids to attend (my younger sister isn't going either btw). I'm still saying no, but he said he's still my dad and we're hurting him by doing this.My mom though, said I should go instead of making him upset, and it's not such a big deal.So AITA?",AITA for telling my dad I'm not going to his wedding?,NTA
10zo055,"I'm 19(F) and I look after my disabled mother, who has mobility issues due to a stroke she had 8 years ago. I do the cooking, giving my mother a shower if she needs, cleaning, dealing with any household issues etc if I'm being completely honest, it's like I'm a parent to her.I have psoriasis on my hands and other parts of my body and as a result my skin is very flakey and I have multiple creams to soothe it and keep the dry skin at bay. As I do all the cooking and don't want lotioned or dry skin to go in the food, I wear gloves to prevent this. Originally I used disposable gloves but me and my mum are extremely low income and at times have to budget down the exact penny so I don't think using a new pair of disposable gloves everytime I make a meal is a good idea.So I use rubber gloves, which I make sure are perfectly washed and dried everytime I use them. The rubber gloves I use for cooking are a different pair to the ones I use for washing dishes. I never mix them up.I had relatives come over and they saw me cooking and were immediately disgusted and saying that they weren't going anything I made if I was using rubber gloves, how could I serve my mother food like this etc. I was hurt, because I only use them because I don't want my skin condition to affect anything. And I don't see how using clean rubber gloves is different than those rubber coverings you get to put over bowls or plates of leftover food.My mum didn't defend me and just told me to get rid of the gloves as well.I told them if they had this big of an issue, they could cook but they said that wasn't the point. I told them about my psoriasis and they said that wasn't the point. My mother is technically capable of making food herself. She can serve herself breakfast and make freezer food but she chooses not to because she's gotten used to coddling, being enabled and this lifestyle. I want her to have some amount of independence so normally she makes her breakfast (cereal, toast etc) while i make lunch and dinner. Because of my relatives reaction, I make dinner and lunch 5 days out of 7, instead of the full week. My relatives are calling me and texting saying I'm being rude and disrespectful and ableist. That I should think about my mother.",AITA for using rubber gloves when cooking?,NTA
10znhus," I've been married for 5 years and have a good relationship with my wife's family, but lately I've been feeling a lot of pressure to attend a dinner with them every weekend. I like my wife's family, but I feel like I need some time for myself too.My wife was upset with me because I declined the invitation to dinner last night, and now we're arguing about it. I want her to understand that I love spending time with her family, but I also want to have some time to myself.AITA for not wanting to attend dinner with my wife's family every weekend?",AITA for not wanting to attend dinner with my wife's family every weekend?,NTA
10zpn32,"My mom has a friend, we’ll call her “Marie”, about my mom’s age, that visits us every few months or so for about 10 years. She’s a nice woman and is very conversational, but since I was a young girl, I was never fond of her.I remember she always had something to say about my appearance. Never anything bad or insulting, but the comments didn’t make me feel good either.When I was about 11-12, when I was developing breasts, we were all at the table eating. I stood up to grab something and Marie exclaimed “DANCEDANGEROUS7950 YOURE GETTING BOOBS!!” Everyone laughed. Except me. I remember that was stunned, embarrassed and didn’t know what to do, so I went to my room and cried, not eating dinner. My mom came up later on and defended her, saying “Hon she’s just jealous. Don’t let it get to you.” I did. Eventually. It still was humiliating. The comments were primarily about my hair, though. For reference, I have curly hair, about a 3C pattern. This was around the time that there wasn’t much information about curly hair, so not only did I not know how to take care of it, I was ashamed of it and always complained that I wanted it straight. It took me a long time (kindergarten to senior year of HS) to grow to love my hair now and properly care for it.Between those awkward stages of hating my hair, Marie’s comments would be “I wish I was able to just roll out of bed without doing my hair” or “Your curls are beautiful, but I want to see it straight one day!” OR, and this one’s my favorite “Just brush your hair, then it’ll look nice!” At the time, I just dealt with it, and even if I told her to not touch my hair (that’s an entirely different discussion), my parents would tell me to “be nice.”So, this leads to what happened last night. Marie came to visit as per usual and everything was all good and uneventful. Then while we had dinner she, like clockwork, said “Dancedangerous7950 you’re braver than me, I can’t pull of that hair, you should try straightening it.”I had enough. So I glared at her. She said “It’s a compliment I love your hair !” I said “That’s not a compliment, and *you know that*.” Shortly afterwards I went to bed.This morning my mom scolded me and said I was unnecessarily rude to Marie and ruined everyone’s mood. I defended myself and basically said “I understand that you’re defending your friend, but these comments are not kind and have never made me feel good.” It ended in a screaming match and I left for work. So AITA? My parents think I am.",AITA for refusing to accept my family friend’s compliment,NTA
10zq3bf,"Hi there, I'm 19F and my sister Lauren is 17F. Background: For the past 6 months, I've been donating $100 to a non-profit charity every month. Unfortunately, I was fired from my job recently, leaving me with too little to continue my donations. However, 2 months ago, I came up with the idea of raising funds by selling printed T-shirts and cups. I drew out the designs and sold them on Redbubble, with all my profits going towards my favourite charity. So far, I've only earnt $30 but it's better than nothing.A month ago, Lauren decided to copy me. She opened a Redbubble account and excitedly told me that she would be selling tees for charity too. I was skeptical as she did not draw at all (and wasn't interested in it), but tried to be as supportive as I could - giving her advice and telling her how the website works, etc. When she first showed me her product designs, I was stunned. They were intimidatingly good - really great art with HD quality. Amazed, I asked her ""Have you been working on your art secretly?"". To my surprise, she started laughing, then said - ""I may or may not have...*generated this using AI!*""I was totally horrified, especially as an artist myself. I told her that AI devalues art made by real humans. Selling things with generated art is essentially cheating. Lauren rolled her eyes and said, ""It's for a good cause"". I tried to convince her to not do it, but she didn't listen. Fast forward to yesterday. Lauren's Redbubble shop has become really successful. She has earnt nearly $400 - which is no surprise at all because AI art is so *professional*. I'm not going to lie: I am bitter that she stole my idea then got successful without putting in a single drop of effort.At lunch, she triumphantly announced that she had reached 50 orders. My mom and dad were so proud of her and even suggested we go out for a fancy dinner as a celebration (which they never do). I couldn't help but say - ""Mom, you should treat the AI to dinner, not Lauren."" Lauren laughed and said - ""Why are you still mad about that?""I replied ""I'm not mad with you, I'm just upset that you are selling AI-generated art under YOUR name. It's cheating!"" Suddenly, Lauren blew up. ""It's not cheating! I'm tired of you shitting on my success. You have no reason to be mad - I'm not pocketing the money. I'm donating it.""I told her, donated or not, it was still unethical. She yelled angrily ""Do you even care about the charity? Or do you just like feeling good about yourself?"" I was really hurt by her statements. Firstly, I did NOT shit on her success. I was the one who gave her advice on how to even start her business! Secondly, *I* was the one who donated $100 every month out of my pathetic student money. She just jumped on the bandwagon. Upset and angry, I left to my room. Lauren went to stay at her boyfriend's place - I haven't heard from her ever since the argument. I don't really feel bad (after all that she said about me!) but my mom says that I was too harsh on her. AITA?",AITA for slamming my sister? She generated art using AI and sold them,YTA
10zs2gf,"My SIL, Jen, has 4 kids (12f, 6f, 5m, 2f). Jen isn't really in a good position to be a parent. She struggles with addiction and mental health issues that she tends to refuse treatment for. As a result of this, her kids have been placed with me multiple times over the years to the point where they have bedrooms in my and my husband's house and they all go to schools/daycare near our house. The kids have been with us since September. This time looks like it might be permanent. Jen gets weekly supervised visits but she doesn't show up half the time and when she does, there's a good chance that she has to be separated from the kids for their safety. All of the kids dread these visits. At their most recent visit, the youngest started crying and saying she wanted ""mommy"".  Jen went to her but she was still crying and asking for her mommy and everyone figured out who she was talking about. This set Jen off. She had to be separated from the kids again and really hasn't been doing well physically or mentally since then. Jen's family has been messaging me lately to accuse me of trying to steal Jen's kids and say that I never should've let them call me mommy. My friends and family are divided. AITA for letting the kids call me ""mommy""",AITA for letting my nieces and nephew call me mommy?,NTA
10zgv0g,"My wife is Irish American. Her parents moved to the US before she was born but she was born in Ireland during a holiday there. She spent most of her childhood between both countries. She took me there several times while we were dating, we got married and had our honeymoon there and it's someplace special for us. Our three children have Irish names. Caoimhe, Caelan and Cian. Of all the names Caelan has been the most disrespected by my parents. They were outraged we would give our son a girls name, told us we were making life so much harder for him. They try to say it weird to make a point. Caoimhe they have always stumbled on and I think it comes back to them wanting us to give her an American nickname when she was born. It's not an always happening thing so we corrected and let it go. But of late there have been more comments made and I worry they will start taking this shit to my kids.So I started putting distance there. They asked me about it and I told them we had discussed it many times already and they still didn't let up on the names. They told me it was an overreaction. I told them they were disrespectful of my kids names and for that reason, they didn't deserve to be around their grandkids. I told them they could always change if they wanted more involvement but I would not have them disrespect the names we chose. This pissed them off and they accused me of using the kids as weapons. They also accused me of denying my kids family.AITA?",AITA for telling my parents they are disrespectful of my kids names and don't deserve to be around their grandkids?,NTA
10zqjwj,"So like the title suggests, my son will be turning 11 in a month and a half and I am planning a big birthday for him. I am planning on inviting my entire family but not my eldest nephew. He is my brothers son and honestly a real piece of work. He does not like us. Has never liked us. Is rude to everyone and can not stand us. There is definitely some parental alienation going on as his mother had no interest in the family even when she was dating my brother and then when she got pregnant with him she did everything she could to minimise us with her son. He is rude to his cousins, his own siblings and stepmom. Because of his mom he was rarely at family events but when he was. He would misbehave, get annoyed with his dad, demand to go home and refuse to talk to anyone. For his 11th birthday my brother  completely decked out his back garden. Giant cake, balloons, streamers, games, and a large BBQ.  My nephew threw a complete temper tantrum over it and wouldn’t talk to anyone. He sat in the corner for hours and refused to talk to anyone and no one hung out with him because they all know he doesn’t like them. I feel bad for my brother. I really do. He was so excited to be a dad considering our dad wasn’t really that present in our lives. He has said himself he will just take a step back if things don’t improve. I don’t see the point of inviting a kid who hates us and probably won’t even show up anyway. He never has before. But again for my brothers sake should I just invite him. AITA?",AITA for not inviting my nephew to my sons birthday?,NTA
10zq37o,"My family is a bit messy. I love them all. But us all being together is not a good idea. I have an older brother who's 10 years older than me. I adore my brother. He despises the man I call dad. We have the same bio dad, but I was only 3 when he died, and mom remarried a year later. Our dad's brother. My brother hates him because he feels like dad was just waiting for our bio dad to die, to just swoop in and take his place. My dad hates that my brother changed toward mom and him after they married. They argue over everything. Dad's quite the hothead and my brother isn't the most expressive person so bottles a lot up until they argue. Mom tries to get my brother to feel differently about things. Has used some guilt trips on him in the past. Some stuff I only found years later. Like the fact my brother wished a lot of terrible things on dad when he learned I had started calling him dad, feeling he should have discouraged that and made it clear bio dad was only dad and he was just some scumbag who stole his dead brother's family. Then dad became enraged when my brother refused to let him come to his graduation. He told mom she could come alone or not at all but he was not playing happy family.The last time we were all together was when grandpa (dad and bio dad's father) died and well... my parents were hurt to learn that my brother had married and had a child and especially hurt that I knew, had attended the wedding and knew my nephew. It became so tense. My parents were upset with me. My brother told them not to be and that he was none of their business. They said they deserved to see their grandson. My brother said dad was not a grandparent and he wished it had been him instead of bio dad who died and how his death wouldn't have mattered in the grand scheme of things.Now I'm engaged and I can't stand to choose between them, can't stand to risk a fight, so I decided to elope. My brother said we should come for dinner to celebrate sometime and told me he hoped I had the best wedding. My parents were upset and wanted to know why I'd elope. After enough pushing I told them it was because of the family drama and not wanting to choose between them and my brother. This made them so upset and maybe even angry. They told me I was punishing them for my brother's bad behavior.AITA?",AITA for telling my parents I want to elope to avoid family drama?,NTA
10zjo67,"This is my first post here so I apologize if things aren’t formatted right or I drag on.  Basically, my brother (18) had a kid a few months ago and the baby has health problems that require him to follow an intense medical routine, and he has to be handled carefully. After he was born my brother got a job while the baby was still in nicu and since baby got out of nicu he’s been asking me to watch him while he’s at work because he and the mom are separated.  At first I didn’t have him pay me because I felt uncomfortable asking for money, but then my mom encouraged me to so I did. When I watched the baby during the week (8 hours, 5 days a week) I charged him $50 a week, which isn’t bad because I also watched the baby when he needed to sleep sometimes, and I’d watch him when my brother had something to do.  I also did his nighttime meds when I watched him when my brother was at work.Today my brother said I’m TA because “family shouldn’t need to be paid to babysit family” and that he can’t afford to pay me at all and that I should watch the baby for free. AITA for wanting to be paid?EDIT here because people have been asking:I am about to be 20, the reason why I have time to babysit is because I have a brain tumor and a spinal condition which leave me unable to work or drive. Baby’s mom left my brother Because he was verbally abusive and did the bare minimum to care for the baby; they have shared custody.",AITA for charging my brother for babysitting?,NTA
10zpnrd,"Husband and I are pregnant and trying to decide on baby names. My husband and I don’t share a last name, but we’ve already decided that the kids will take his last name. I recently told him that I’d love our child to have a middle name that reflects my side of the family, especially because I won’t share a last name with my kids either.My husband laughed this off saying that I was ridiculous and our kids already “get all of me” because I carry them during pregnancy. I’m extremely hurt by this- literally all I’m asking for is a middle name to connect my children to my family. The only middle names he has really suggested are based off of fictional characters.Am I the asshole for pressing him on this or is he right that names don’t really matter?",AITA for wanting to name our child after my side of the family?,NTA
10zpmtg,"I live in an apartment on my own. My sister is a single mother with an almost 4 year old daughter. She doesn't live in the same state as me but when she comes back to visit she usually stays with family. This time she stayed with me and I was fine with it. I love my niece and sister.​​I struggle with anxiety and getting started with the day. I can be anxious about getting to work so every morning I wear earphones and listen to music while I get ready. I would just play music but out of respect for my neighbors I don't. My sister was here for about a week and every morning getting ready for work I still put on my headphones and do everything. I will be in the kitchen making breakfast with headphones on so for that hour I take getting ready I can't hear her or my niece. My sister for some reason would SEE me in headphones and still try to talk to me as if I could hear. Like she'd walk in and I'd see her looking at me and her lips moving. She'd just be talking at a normal volume as if I could hear. Like who sees someone in headphones and just starts talking? The first couple times I would them off for a second and say ""I can't hear you, listening to music"" and she'd nod and then I'd put them back on. But like a few minutes later she'd do it again. At that point I just would continue doing what I was doing and not respond. I assumed she'd get the message. Then she'd tap me on the shoulder and I'd take them off. I'd expect it to be something serious that needs addressing but it'd usually just be some mundane thing.​​She also would just let my niece be in the apartment and kitchen and be off in the bathroom or somewhere else. My niece is pretty well behaved and she isn't one of those kids where you look away for a second and they are doing something crazy. But still a child should be watched because she does get into something sometimes. She would be like ""I'm gonna get ready"" and just walk somewhere else. Obviously I don't hear it. I have my back turned and am in the kitchen. 20 minutes later she'd come out and ask if I was even watching. I told her that this one hour in the morning I wear headphones while I get ready. After work or any other time I don't. She said that it was mean because she has a kid. I told her ""you get ready every morning in your house without me or another person there. do that here."" She thought it was rude.​​When I am off we talk a lot. I interact and played with my niece tons. I don't think it's crazy for that one hour while getting ready to be mine. I consider that working hours anyway​EDIT- On the weekend I wasn't wearing headphones or ignoring them. I didn't have a place I needed to be so I was just talking and interacting ",AITA for wearing headphones and not paying attention to a child,NTA
10zpmt3,"While I (32m) was in middle school I started receiving social security checks due to my father being a 100% disabled veteran. My mother also received her own monthly check and so did my brother. During this time my parents went through a separation and I moved from Maryland to New York with my mother while my brother stayed in Maryland with my dad to finish school. I started receiving the checks in 7th grade for $1,000 a month for my future/college/personal needs. My father also paid my mother monthly payments for me so all the checks could be saved until I stopped receiving them at 18. My mother also worked two jobs. A couple years later my father and mother ended up getting back together and have been ever since so I never needed any of the money from the checks for anything other than my future. Fast forward to when I turn 18. My father tells my mother to give me the account with all my money that has accumulated from 7th grade through high school until I was 18. I told him I wanted her to invest it and put it away for ten years so I wouldn’t blow it and at 28 I could maturely use this money and I’d never seen my father so proud of me. I received an account at 28yo with only 12k. That’s only 12 months worth of checks. I’m missing over 35k of checks Plus I’m missing ten years of interest and whatever I would of made putting it in CD’s. I lost my shit. My father has begged me for the last four Years not to report her for stealing all that money but since I was 28 I’ve never looked at her the same and Have so much anger and resentment towards her. She stole so much from me and my future. I was depending on that money to travel, buy a home, new car. I honestly want to report her to the social security administration and police even though she’s my mother. I can’t even look at her without feeling so hurt, betrayed, and on top of that having my father tell me not to. Basically calling me an asshole for even thinking about reporting her. My mother had the nerve to say I’m overreacting. AITA?",AITA for wanting to report my mother for fraud?,NTA
10zshtp,My brother who is 22 refuses to get his license. He hasn’t saved up a penny to get the car that he bought 6 months ago registered and he’s had 2 jobs since last year. My mom expects me to drive him to and from work on the weekends so she can visit with family. I don’t live in the same house but I do live less than a mile away so she doesn’t think it’s a problem. I told him multiple times why doesn’t he just walk to work. It’s only 2 miles. I even gave him a bike to use to get to and from work but he just keeps leaving it at work and expecting a ride home. I’m fed up and I plan on just falling asleep and I have no intentions of taking him to work today. Would I be the asshole for doing so? He’ll probably be late but I don’t care.,WIBTA if I refuse to take my brother to work after telling him I would,NTA
10zi02i,"We've been together for nearly two years and in that time he moved into a new flat with a private bathroom. I live nearby so we often swap where we stay over. Whenever I go to his I nag him to clean the bathroom. It's dusty, like the corners have a hairy, thick layer of dust. And the sink, toilet, and shower could all benefit from a simple scrub. He doesn't struggle with depression or anything that would limit his ability to take on these taks. He has clearly said that it is a matter of preference. That he would draw the line if it were dirtier, but he believes it doesn't pose any issue. I've told him I'd be happier if he cleaned it. He says it's a good opportunity to practice being out of control of a situation. I think he's low-key right, but I share the space too. And as for the living at home. I moved home recently. But when I had my own place I kept the shared bathroom clean.",AITA for expecting my (f22) bf (m25) to clean his bathroom,NTA
10zqejh,"I've (42f) had COVID for 8 days, and I've barely left our bedroom. My husband ""Will"" (37m) has been sleeping on the couch the whole time. He's been really awesome through the whole thing, bringing me food and cookies and Gatorade. I've had a rough go of it (despite being double boosted), so it's been really helpful. To be clear, we've been together for 5 years and married for 2. We very rarely argue, and are generally very happy and treat each other with kindness and respect.Will likes to drink on Friday nights. So last night he had some beers, I'm assuming quite a few. I had been trying to fall asleep for 2 hours, but couldn't because I felt terrible. At 5:30am, Will came into the room and said he needed to sleep in his bed. I get that, because he's been on the couch for a week. But. 1. I hadn't washed the sheets or pillows and everything was probably covered in COVID.2. Because he hadn't been in bed (and I literally hadn't left it), a bunch of my stuff was on his side. So he comes in, very drunkenly saying he needs to sleep in his bed. I say ""No, there's COVID everywhere!"" and he proceeds to pull all of my stuff onto the ground, basically throwing it. This includes my pulse oximeter, my new glossybox, cough drops, cookies, water bottle, a present for my boss, etc. He then gets into bed, putting his head on a pillow I've been using all week. I got uncharacteristically upset, and started yelling, and I threw my sweater, and picked up something he had thrown to see if it was broken, and then threw it into a pile of laundry out of anger. This is the most physical we've ever been, because generally, we don't act like this.He sullenly went back downstairs. I checked on him to make sure he was okay, then went back to bed.This morning, he called me from downstairs to apologize, but then he said he just ""needed to be in bed"" and because my stuff was on his side, it was ""okay"" to pull it all onto the ground. I told him that it's not acceptable behavior and not like us at all. I then told him when he realizes that it was not okay, we can talk about it. I said goodbye, and hung up.AITA? Did I overreact?​ETA: I get how COVID works. When I said ""There's covid everywhere"", it was a continuation of a joke we have had all week where he tries to kiss me and I say ""But, the covid!"" and then we both laugh. I have a history of severe respiratory illness from the flu (which happened when I was younger and healthy), so I'm very cautious with illnesses like this. You genuinely never know what can happen. I didn't want this to turn into a debate on virus transmission, I just wanted to know who acted like TA. ",AITA for kicking my husband out of bed after he threw all of things on the ground?,YTA
10zq7ou,"So I, 17m, went on a family trip with my ENTIRE family (60 people, including extended family). Getting everything was quite the mess, especially because our family evolved to have more than 3 different cultures in us. The trip first took us to Europe, where I translated for the most part. It was exhausting. So exhausting in fact, that when we circled around to Hawaii, I couldn’t walk for more than 5 minutes without a break. Worst part, I’m allergic to seafood. And all my so caring family wanted to eat was SEAFOOD. I also had to be an English translator here. Eventually, I was surviving on whatever I can get my hands on, which was really only the ocasional french fries from fish and chips and what else. But then, we had some stupid beach run competiton, where everyone had to compete. So, I began running. And running. Until I couldn‘t handle it, and passed out completely. Like out cold. I was rushed to ER, where the doctor just said to eat more. Everyone was relived, except for one part of the family. My mom’s younger sister. She has 3 kids, between the ages of 4-7. And they were mad. Like steaming mad. The kids kept crying about how the beach race was cut short, and how they wanted MORE SEAFOOD. So of course, my aunt haaddd to lay it on me. But everyone payed it back on them. So now began screaming that I was an a\*\*hole who got the entire family against them. We haven’t cut contact, but it has been chaotic to say the least. Everyone just stays in their room now. But my aunt keeps texting me that I’m an a\*\*hole. So, AITA? I’m",AITA for passing out during the family trip?,NTA
10zpq4p," Ok so first off I wanna say I actually really liked my SIL Sarah (F26) at first, but after my then bf Ryan (M30) now husband moved in with me she got worse.  After Ryan moved in, she decided to come and visit to have a weekend with us swimming, and doing summer activities. I like hosting people at our house so I was pretty excited. I never had any sisters so I was also excited to have a SIL and some girl time. Fast forward to the stay at our house- she refused to pick up after herself, she complained about everything, and she disrespected me multiple times. When I say disrespected I mean she talked over me every time I tried to talk to my husband, left dishes around the house, acted like a child when she didn’t get her way. She basically acted like I was her mom the whole weekend. This was just the first visit. She came to visit multiple times after each one getting worse and worse until my husband Ryan and I got into a huge fight on her last visit.  This last visit was the final straw with me. She stayed about 5 days and it was the worst visit yet. This visit was during Christmas and New years. We had a horrible winter storm a few days before Christmas and had gotten way worse by Christmas Eve. SIL called my husband to demand he takes her to the airport in his car with no 4wheel drive in an ice storm even though she drives and SUV. SIL then proceeded to cry when he told her no. Her flight got cancelled so she came to spend Christmas with us which is fine, but she ended up coming with us to my parents/families Christmas.  My parents welcomed her in with open arms and were nothing but nice to her, but once we got back to our house she talked shit about my mom who was kind and sweet and called her a bitch for no reason. This made me mad but I didn’t say anything she continued to complain about everything she could find to complain about.  She stayed until we had to go to work for the next week and when we went to bed she decided at midnight she was going to do laundry she was slamming the washer door, slamming doors, walking around the house stomping around leaving every light on. My husband wakes up at 5 AM so he was kind of irritated and told her that she needed to be quiet.  The fight we got into was because I had finally had enough and was being quiet and kind of passive aggressive towards her, and my husband told me I was being a bitch for acting like that even though he completely agrees with me when she’s not around.  There’s definitely more to the story that she’s done but I don’t wanna make this post too long when it’s already long enough I just wanted to vent. I don’t want to cause any issues between him and his sister because that’s his only sibling but she frustrates me and I really don’t like her I kind of cringe whenever I hear her voice or see her call. I know I sound a little mean but am I the asshole?",AITA for disliking my SIL?,NTA
10zq8ft,"I used to be a Bespoke designer before taking a long break because life happens.Six years ago, an acquaintance hit me up to do an collab. She is a singer and she wanted me to make her an outfit and in return she would promote it.We met up at her place and I took her measurements and we made a plan on how to work.For some reason, time really flew by. And our collab just died along the way. We didn’t keep in touch like we said we would and years after the pandemic and my regular job became the prime focus because money.Flash forward 6 years later and 2 weeks ago I get a call from her and she ask me if I still got her fabrics. I had to admit to her that I really didn’t know but I will make sure to look for it because it’s been 6 years and I have moved like 3 times in that period. She said that it is really important for me to find it because it was fabrics that her grandma gave her. I promised her to look for it but I can’t guarantee that I will find it and if I don’t I will make sure to replace it either by paying her the value of the fabric or to find same ones that she got.Yesterday she wrote me to ask if I have found the fabric, I apologized to her that it took awhile for me to get back to her because I have a lot on my plate but that I couldn’t find my boxes where I keep my fabrics and everything from when I used to make clothes. This chick all of the sudden flips out and start sending me tons of voice messages saying that I am in the wrong for loosing her fabrics and that I am inconsiderate for not taking care of her stuff. She literally sent over 10 voice messages just yelling and screaming.I was at work at that time and had to go to the bathroom and ask sent a voice message asking her to calm down and that she can’t blame me for everything. I had no idea that the fabric belonged to her grandmother and nor do I remember if that ever was mentioned in our meeting because it was freaking six years ago! I barely remember what conversations I’ve had one year ago. She of course called me a liar and got even more angrier.And here is what makes me scratch my head: MIND YOU that we have met SEVERAL times after our planned project, we have been in same parties, same gatherings, same cookouts and all because we know the same people. Never once has she mention that she is in need of her fabrics, never once has she asked me what happened to our plans. Not once! But now she want to put pressure on me and blame me for this matter even to the point where she was threatening me saying “you know me and what I am capable of”. I don’t.Am I the only one who don’t understand the way she is coming at me? I have been polite as I can and told her that I will replace it but she is out of her mind. TL;DR: acquaintance that I was supposed to make an outfit for is mad for me not finding her fabric that her grandmother gave her and now after six years of silence and not asking me about it she goes on a rampage because I might have lost it.",AITA for losing an acquaintances fabrics that her grandma gave her?,NTA
10zmr19,"My(23F) sister(27F) has been in a relationship with her bf(31M) for ~2yrs. I would say this is the most healthy, mature relationship she's been in, and both families see this going all the way. I'm quite happy for her.However, whenever her and bf come to visit, she often seems to mention how our family, and specifically I, have never approved her previous partners. While this is not untrue, I don't understand why she keeps saying this because I have only met 2 of her previous partners, and both relationships ended quite badly. During the relationships, I would say I was amicable with her boyfriends, but I didn't really care or know them enough to like/dislike them, and I formed negative opinions of them after incidents she told me about. So whenever she said this, I was pretty bothered bc it sounded like I was unreasonably judgemental and disapproving of her relationships, which is not true.I usually let it go, but one day my sis, her bf, our mom and I were sitting at the table and when she said this again. I finally tried to clarify by saying ""Well think of the relationships you've had"". ""See!"" she tried to use it to prove her point. So I said, ""Really? *ex's name*?"". She instantly got serious, hushed-yelling, ""Why would you say that?! You crazy?! You wanna die?!"". Even our mom scolded me. You'd think her ex was Voldemort. At the time, because she freaked out so bad, I felt my heart drop like I had done something terrible. Thinking back, I don't understand why it was such a big deal. It's not like I said her ex was better, and she told me they'd spoken about bad exes before.More recently, I was on a video call with my sister. She was in her living room and her bf was in another room playing video games. She started talking about how her bf fits nicely with our family and how we find him more attractive than her previous bfs ""although mom encouraged me to date *ex's name*"" she said lowering her voice a little. I didn't really understand what she was talking about but said ""oh I wouldn't know since I only really know ""ex's name*"". She freaked out at me again, hush-yelling, ""You really gonna say it that loud?!"", ranting about the previous incident, how I mentioned her ex in front of her bf, and she knew I was wrong bc our mom scolded me. I was honestly taken aback this time bc 1) she said the name first, and 2) I was speaking normally on the call. I had no way of knowing how loud I was on her speaker or if her bf could hear our conversation. But even if he did, I don't understand why it is such a big deal. I think they are old and mature enough to recognize they've had previous relationships. After yelling at me, my sister hung up, and I sent her a text telling her not to bring up her previous bfs to me then when he is around.Is it that insensitive or rude to mention an ex's name in front of a current partner? Or is my sister overreacting?",AITA for mentioning my sister's ex's name in front of her current bf?,NTA
10zt8k8,"In January, I (f28) moved to Europe to teach English. I’m not going to say which country as it’s too easily identifiable.One of the classes I teach, is an after school class for kids aged 10-12. They finish it around 1-2pm.I’ve noticed that the kids are not collected by the parents and just leave on their own and it does not sit right with me. It’s a serious safety issue (the school is located in the town centre). One day, I sent kids with a note letting parents know that they’re expected to collect their kids or they will be called and expected to collect their children and the kids won’t be released on their own.After the next class, only one parent came and was mad they had to come (seriously? It’s your child!). So I waited with the kids for 30 minutes. The kids were restless and kept telling me it’s fine to let them go to which I refused, they’re literally children. I started calling parents and many told me to let the kids go. I told them that absolutely not and they had to come and collect their kids. Eventually, they all did within 2 hours but only 2 children came to my next class and now the school director sent me an email to have a meeting with me.I ranted to another teacher (the actual English teacher at the school) and she virtually told me I was a crazy asshole because kids here walk and take busses all the time and I was way out of line.I told her I didn’t think so but she said that parents are pissed off. And sure enough, my email is filled with mail from angry parents. I’m dreading opening them after the first few.I genuinely only care about safety of the kids but everyone is acting like I am the asshole. So I need you to tell me who’s the asshole here. Me or the neglectful parents?",AITA for expecting parents to collect their kids after classes?,YTA
10zpld2,"I live in a large apt building and the residents share a communal laundry room. It only has 3 washers and 3 dryers that a bunch of residents share so naturally there’s often a backlog and it can be a waiting game to get a machine.The problem is a lot of people just leave their clothes in them well after they’re done with a cycle. I’ve seen clothes left in a washer or dryer for several hours, even all day, holding up the machines and it’s extremely frustrating. So when this happens I’ve been moving the clothes out of the machines if they’re done so I can use them. I also put up a sign that said “Please promptly remove your clothes from the washer/dryer when they’re done. Otherwise they will be moved to the laundry counter to free up the machine for the next person.” I guess my neighbor saw the sign cause he texted me saying I’m an AH for putting it up. He knows it’s a peeve of mine cause he’s walked in when I was moving his clothes from a dryer (they had been sitting in there for 2 hours and I needed the dryers). He said it’s not right to move people’s clothes, that I should just be patient and that I’m not the landlord so I can’t put up signs like that. I’ve complained to the landlord/management before and asked them to say something to residents or put up a sign but they never did. So AITA here?",AITA for putting up a sign in the laundry room telling people their clothes will be moved if they don’t get them?,NTA
10zpvxk,"So I (25f) have lived with my brother (28m) and father (53m) since starting school. Originally when I moved in I was supposed to only focus on school, that’s all him and my dad wanted at the time. But then only a year into the arrangement my dad moved out. Leaving me scrambling to find a job to cover half the bills. It’s been 5 years. And he moved back in about a month ago. He promised he would help. You see after Covid hit and my brother lost his job and was collecting unemployment. The issue was - unemployment wasn’t enough to cover his portion of the bills. Because he was spending like crazy, he bought a new phone, new watch, new Xbox, new tv and gaming set up, new gaming desk. Meanwhile my GPA is falling and I’m struggling and crying myself to sleep to pay the bills. Now he’s coming back (his girlfriend dumped him) and he said he would help me get things back into shape. Not only does my brother not help with the bills he doesn’t clean. I constantly am having to live around his mess. He’s disgusting and I’m just so tired of it. Because I get treated like a maid and am expected to clean up after him even though he’s STILL not working. He plays videogames all day. We haven’t had heat all winter because I couldn’t keep up. And it’s just getting worse. My dad despite having promised to help is just adding to the issue. I pay for everything. Groceries putting gas in his truck buying him cigarettes. And he STILL has not said anything to my brother about pulling his weight while he’s out of work. I’m fed up. And today he got in my face because I asked him to do their own dishes. I told him I had one bowl that I had used and that I would wash it after, but that I wanted my sink empty. He got in my face and told me to “woman” up and do it and that if I didn’t like it I could pack up and get out of HIS house. My name was never on the lease. But my landlord knows. What options do I have? Is it even worth it to try and get them out?I think this might make me the asshole because he’s my dad, he’s getting older, and I genuinely would feel bad. But I don’t think I can stand this anymore.Edit to explain why I’m here: I don’t have a car, and this house is currently the closest to my current job that I am going to get. Leaving here would mean I can’t get to work.",WIBTA if I told my dad to leave my house.,NTA
10zpnq7,"I(24f) got married eight months ago and my husband's relatives whom he is very close to couldn't make it to the wedding. His both parents died when he was in his teens and he has no siblings . The only family he's got are his uncles and their families . They were his guardians . I absolutely understand their importance in his life despite the fact that they are not even his actual family but only relatives .I also know I can never have any kind of bond with them because they clearly don't like me for some unknown reasons and I do not plan on working this out with them. He asked me if we could go and spend a week with them as family vacations and  I agreed because I did not want to make him upset. I know he missed them. I flew two hours so he could meet them and they were nice to me only when he was around. I decided to not complain since it was only a matter of a few days and suck it up but he out of nowhere made a plan to visit his hometown with one of his cousins that was at six hours drive from where we all were staying . When he told me , I refused to let him go and told him how insensitive is it of him for waning to leave me behind with his family and go on a day trip with his cousin . We ended up having an argument before I told him that he could go. He offered me to join him and I declined.I know it was an immature move but I pretended it was fine by me , secretly booked my ticket and after he went , I flew back to our house and did not contact him until he came back the next day. I still haven't apologised for coming back uninformed and ruining his family vacations even though he has apologised several times for taking me there and going on a trip. (Throwaway account.)AITA??",AITA for telling my husband he can't leave me alone with his relatives that seem to dislike me a lot?,YTA
10zrizi,"Throwaway account bc my family has Reddit. I (F28) am getting married to my fiance, Colin (M28) in less than a month. It's a destination wedding, and we've kept the invite list small, to just family and very close friends. I am worried that I am hurting my mother's feelings and I don't want to do that. A little backstory involving the wedding planning first.I found out a few months ago that my mother, Sarah, (F56) had invited the Martin family (a father, mother, daughter Mackenzie who is my age, and daughter's boyfriend) without asking me first. I have known the family my whole life, and was close to the daughter when we were ten or so, but we are strictly acquaintances now. No bad blood, we just didn't end up growing close. I do not want the Martins there, because I feel like the two moms (mine and the Martin mom) constantly compare me to Mackenzie. Just two examples: Mackenzie's weight and mine get compared (we are the same height) and sometimes one of us is ""better"" than the other. A second example: our jobs and how much money we make is often a discussion, according to my mom. This is about everything--who is learning a second language faster, who reads more books, who dresses ""cuter,"" whose boyfriend is more ""perfect.""To be clear: I don't know if these discussions are even happening, since I'm not around when my mom and the Martin mom get together. I do not know if they are meant to be hurtful. I have not asked Mackenzie if she knows about these conversations since we aren't very close. So: I told my mom that unfortunately, Colin and I just want our friends and close family at our wedding. She got sad and said, ""Colin shouldn't invite his friends then, if the Martins aren't coming!"" We did not invite the Martins. Now, our wedding is taking place near a city that has a popular theme park. Colin and I, as well as a handful of our friends, are going to the theme park in the two days following. I am not wanting my mom to be around Colin's friends because I am worried that my mom will want to be stuck like glue to me (my father--her husband--and my two brothers will also be there so she won't be alone). I told my mom that Colin and I were thinking of ""being selfish"" and just doing our own thing at the theme park.My mom told me that's fine, it's my prerogative, but she doesn't ""think we need to be selfish and do our own thing."" I can tell she's upset with me for bringing it up, since she never says ""you can do what you want"" unless I've done something wrong. So, Reddit, AITA for wanting to be selfish?",AITA for telling my mom I want to be selfish?,NTA
10zt1e3,"A short background: If you are doing job training in Germany, we have different laws than if you are normally working. So is the payment. While a normal job has a minimum of 12€/hr and for a training job it's roughly 3.5€/hr minimum (can't give exact numbers, because the regulations are somewhat garbage, as they only give a monthly minimum),So recently I talked with my parents about my driver's license, which I need, because I live in a pretty rural village and as the price for the driver's license is constantly rising, I asked them, how they would pay it with my salary. After taxes, insurances and some money investments, my monthly budget comes out to about 380€. After asking them, they told me, not to bother, because they also weren't earning that much in their job training and I still earn better than others in training. While that might be true, they forget, that I pay most of my stuff by myself and I still want to have some money at the end of the month, which I can spend on stuff that I really want or to put it aside. After some discussion, they told me, that I am ungrateful that I can even earn money, and they never had that much money than me and I shouldn't annoy them. AITA?",AITA for telling my parents how I should pay my driver's license,NTA
10zmfyl,"For background, A few days ago I lost my much loved hamster to cancer. I am not entirely over his death just yet.Today my best friend asked me for advice on best cage sizes and configurations, toys and brands for pet rodents. They have been planning on getting rodents themselves for a long time and finally decided on rats, I believe it’s a coincidence that those events overlapped with the death of my own hamster. It started of as a nice conversation, at least until I asked them to not get their rats in the same specific fur pattern as my late hamster was. Of course I am not entitled to tell them what kind of pet they are allowed to get or forbid them anything regarding their personal life, I made sure to clarify this. They still got mad and I am genuinely concerned that my request has been insensitive. Am I the asshole in this situation?EDIT: I decided to apologise to my friend and they replied with a photo of their four future pet rats, one of them looking the same as my hamster. They had already thought about adopting them before my hamster died. We discussed both our issues and things are good now.A big thank you to everyone who helped me see and understand my mistake(s)!!",AITA for asking my friend to not get a specific fur color of pet?,YTA
10zt23w,"I'm a single dad to my 17 year old daughter. I'm fortunate enough that my older brother lives nearby. We both work from home, so, its cool that sometimes mid-day he can just come over.I will admit, becoming a dad at 16 wasnt the smartest thing ever, and because of it I've not made the best decisions with her. This has boiled down to affecting her health. Right now she's in the 230s and is only about average height. Did I give in to much with her and junk food and sweets? Yes.A couple of days ago, my brother was over and the 3 of us were just hanging out, she'd just gotten home from school. She gets up and says she's going to start homework. She goes upstairs, closes her door.My brother comments that he notices how laboring it was for her to get up and climb stairs. I already knew where this was going and asked him to move onto a new topic. He insists we talk about this and suggests we talk outside. We go outside and he tells me all about how alarmed he is, how she always looks bigger every time he visits. I said he was being overdramatic. He said I was failing to see how out of shape and overweight she is. I insisted I'm well aware, he said if I were aware, I'd do something. My point was, she's 16, I really can't make her do anything. Where I drew the line was when he said that I didn't care that she was ""downright fat"". I called him a dick, asked him to not refer to her like that. He told me to face facts, and left.AITA?",AITA for arguing with my brother,YTA
10zrhkq,"so my elder cousin's wedding happened on friday but i did not attend it. the sole reason was my mother. i was really looking forward to attend the wedding and was happy too. but my mother started telling me to cut my hair and buy some clothes and shoes. she said this because she started worrying about my looks and how i will dress up in the wedding.she also started telling my father to buy a new phone for me as i am using an old samsung phone. due to these things, i got pretty upset and uncomfortable as my mother thought my appearance and dress up mattered the most for her. she also started talking about respect and how your clothes and looks will represent you. and due to that i did not attend my cousin's wedding.so AITA here?Edit: as all of you are asking if i had agreed to go or the wedding had been paid. the wedding took place in a temple which is normal for us asian (nepalis) and the party was organized in the house. my cousin called before the wedding and i told him i am not coming.",AITA for not attending my cousin's wedding?,NTA
10zso8q,"Just had a blowout with my mother. I have two brothers who were always my best friends. My youngest brother (groom) was the one I was closest with. He was getting married to someone I really like so there is no problem with the marriage itself.Wedding was going to be small with only immediate family invited.Bride's family:Mother and FatherSister and long time boyfriendGrandfather and GrandmotherGroom's Family:Mother and long time boyfriendFather and long time girlfriendBrother and wife and three kids (2 nephews and a niece)Sister (me)The wedding party was limited to only the best man(groom’s brother), the maid of honor(bride’s sister), two ring bearers(groom’s nephews), and a flower girl(groom’s sister).. I would be lying if I didn't disclose that this made me feel bad. I was the only sibling not involved and there was room for 2 ring bearers to ensure that the kids weren't left out... I tried to just blow this off, but I did feel bad.I am happily single and am normally fine with going places alone, but this made me uncomfortable. I asked Groom if I could bring a long time friend of mine that the family knows really well. I explained to Groom that I felt a little weird that I was the only one not coming with someone. I wanted to ask him first before even proposing it to her(the friend) and thought she would be the best option because she is so familiar with the family. He said no because it was only for ""long time relationships"". It would be ""unfair to everyone else that wasn't invited."" I felt immediately that this was a slap in the face to me and really didn't want to come to the wedding. I swallowed my feelings and went anyway but at no point of the day did I want to be there.My mother has often treated me as if my feelings are not valid. This happens often with this particular brother. I was talking with my mother about a separate situation with etiquette. She was blowing me off again as if I had no idea what I was talking about. I have worked large scale events for most of my adult life and am very familiar with protocol.I was expressing to her how it frustrates me when she discredits my feelings as invalid. The situation with my brother came up as an example. She asked me to talk about why I feel as if bride’s family are rude to me.As I am going over my feelings about the situation with my mother, this came up and she literally started screaming at me and walking away. The words ""fuck you"" even came out. I did also yell back at her  “once again, it’s always about your son and I’m just crazy” and “I’m not crazy, it’s rude”. I should not have screamed but I have been in therapy for a while trying to work through my own feelings. I'm more concerned with the gaslighting of it all.I apologize if I don't respond right away, but I promise I will get to it. I'm in school full time and work three jobs so life is a bit crazy right now. I'm graduating this year and am very hopeful for a bit more calm in my future.Thank you for your input.","AITA: Brother's small wedding, only guest without partner, requested to bring someone but was denied, mother blew up at me for being insulted by it.",YTA
10zsltb,"My ex has been ignoring his parents ever since he broke off our engagement. They’ve come by multiple times and he always ignores them and tells me not to open the door. A few days ago, he was out when they came over. I opened the door because they usually don’t leave for a very long time and I didn’t want to listen to them knocking for an hour.When my ex got back he was visibly annoyed so I excused myself so they could have some privacy. I could hear them yelling from my room and once they left my ex barged into my room to pick a fight with me.For the last few days he’s intentionally being a jerk even though we agreed to make things as easy as possible until I moved out. He’s gone back on all of our agreements and is doing things like walking around the house pretty much naked even though he knows I don’t like it and walking into my room without knocking whenever he wants to ask me something. Whenever I try to discuss it with him, he claims I started this because I let his parents in.AITA?",AITA for letting my ex’s parents in when I knew he was ignoring them on purpose?,YTA
10zni7j,"This morning, my mom was upset with how dirty our bedrooms are and we didn't do our chores last night. She was yelling at my sisters and I to clean up and eventually turned on my dad. My dad does most of the cooking and when he uses pots and pans, he'll usually put water in them or clean them and put them back on the stove. My mom cooked last night and left the pots there. So, she told me to wash them and my dad brought up that my mom was the one to cook. They got into a bit of an argument over who should wash the pots and pans used when someone cooks.It was about 12-1PM and I had yet to eat anything. So, my dad asked me if I wanted to go out with him and that we could go anywhere I wanted to eat. Not long after, I decided to have a little snack since I hadn't eaten and the drive to where we were going is half an hour away. My dad sees me eating and says ""Oh, you're already eating? That's fine."" As I was telling him that it was just something small, he was already reaching to grab a muffin (I don't think he had eaten anything either). So, I say the same thing back to him. Mind you, neither of us were angry or anything. It was just casual.He got mad and said that we aren't going anymore and that he's tired of everyone talking bad to him all the time. It's been an hour and he still won't change his mind. I don't really know what I did wrong? The whole conversation was less than a minute, too, and it seemed to ruin his whole day.AITA?Edit: My dad and I are both very sarcastic people. We joke around like that a lot, just being smart to each other or even with friends. My mom calls me a smart aleck and says I get it from my dad.",AITA for repeating my dad's words back to him?,NTA
10zpflm,"I've (42f) had COVID for 8 days, and I've barely left our bedroom. My husband ""Will"" (37m) has been sleeping on the couch the whole time. He's been really awesome through the whole thing, bringing me food and cookies and Gatorade. I've had a rough go of it (despite being double boosted), so it's been really helpful. To be clear, we've been together for 5 years and married for 2, we very rarely argue, and are generally very happy and treat each other with kindness and respect.Will likes to drink on Friday nights. So last night he had some beers, I'm assuming quite a few. I had been trying to fall asleep for 2 hours, but couldn't because I felt like crap. At 5:30am, Will came into the room and said he needed to sleep in his bed. I get that, because he's been on the couch for a week. But. 1. I hadn't washed the sheets or pillows and everything was probably covered in COVID.2. Because he hadn't been in bed, and I literally hadn't left it, a bunch of my stuff was on his side. So he comes in, very drunkenly saying he needs to sleep in his bed. I say ""No, there's COVID everywhere!"" and he proceeds to pull all of my stuff onto the ground, basically throwing it. This includes my pulse oximeter, my new glossybox, cough drops, cookies, water bottle, a present for my boss, etc. He then gets into bed, putting his head on a pillow I've been using all week. I got uncharacteristically upset, and started yelling, and I threw my sweater, and picked up something he had thrown to see if it was broken, and then threw it onto a pile of laundry. This is the most physical we've ever been, because generally, we don't act like this.He sullenly went back downstairs. I checked on him to make sure he was okay, then went back to bed.This morning, he called me from downstairs to apologize, but he said he just ""needed to be in bed"" and because my stuff was on his side, it was okay to pull it all onto the ground. I told him that it's unacceptable behavior and not like us at all. I then told him when he realizes that it was not okay, we can talk about it, said goodbye, and hung up.AITA? Did I overreact?",AITA for kicking my husband out of bed after he threw my things on the ground.,NTA
10zsyq1,"I (23F) work as a housekeeper in a small hotel my dad runs. My husband (23m) and two boys (1.5y&2 mo Boys)also live there until we can get on our feet.There is a couple in one of the rooms who is a long stay. Meaning they basically live here too.     I met them my first few days working here. I usually see them on my days off in the common areas.The man in the relationship (zach) and his wife (lilly) have a cute little baby (3mo). I usually run into them when im smoking a cigarette or when im off the clock. I run into him the most because his wife works a lot.  I am never alone when I see him.He was talking to me and another worker the other day with his child in the lobby. He was wearing a very nice suit so I said he looked nice. After the compliment he explained that he had just lost his grandma and was having a hard time.  My husband came up with our two boys and witnessed our whole conversation. After we all talked, we went our separate ways. Later while I was smoking outside, I heard them arguing from there room because the window was open. The wife was screaming that he was a lying cheater who is going to get ""that slut of a housekeeper"" fired. He was screaming that nothing was going on between us that we just talk sometimes if we see each other.  I went back inside and didnt hear anymore. A couple hours later I was outside with a staff member smoking when he came out. I told him I heard there fight and I apologized if I gave them any feeling or hint that we were having an affair. He said she's just like that and has accused him of sleeping with his cousin because they use to talk almost daily. He told me not to worry about her and that they ""aren't even together anymore"" and he started talking about her personal issues. He said she was off her medication, narcissistic and abusive. I apologized for what he was going through and went back inside. I feel bad for him so I'm trying to be nice on and off the clock. Am I overstepping boundaries I don't see. Whenever I see her, she avoids me. When she does speak to me, she's bitter. I apologized to her and she said that im a homewrecker and that she will get me fired. I explained that I am happily married, never alone when im around him and our interactions are always on camera. She then screamed that she knows because the birds tell her and the walls are watching me and stormed off. I just stood there confused. AITA for this? I'm confused.",AITA for being nice to a customer?,NTA
10zqvso,"I met a girl let’s call her Abby online about two years ago. We both went into similar things which made it pretty easy for us to connect. We talk to each other every day and put always play video games together. Along the way, we decided to make a server for not only my friends, but also hers and that way we could all collab since some of us had YouTube channels. One of our friends let’s call him. James developed an interest in Abby and soon they decided to start talking. I assumed things were going pretty well because not only had they met face-to-face, but they had also planned on moving in together. Unlike everybody else I decided to keep my opinions to myself and to support my friend. About a month later I got a call from James he said that he had been trying to message Abby all day, but it had seemed like she had blocked him. I tried to assure him that she wouldn’t do that unless she had a solid reason on why to do it. I then proceeded to ask him if he had done anything inappropriate or anything that can make her uncomfortable. He said he couldn’t recall anything that he may have done. I then to try and calm him down decided to text her as well. And to my surprise I didn’t get a response. I just assumed she was sleeping or busy doing other stuff after all not everybody can message you immediately after you message them. I keep James on the phone with me to calm him down since he had been drinking using the excuse that he was upset. At this point he was a bit drunk and decided to invite a couple of our friends into the conversation. I kept my mouth shut most of the conversation since I didn’t want to say something inappropriate or something that could put either James or Abby, in a wrong situation. None of us had any response from Abby for the rest of the day, and since James is already getting support from his friends, I decided to log off and just play some games on my own. A couple of days later my phone is blowing up with notifications from my friends in the server, saying that they had been kicked off with no explanation whatsoever. It didn’t surprise me that they had come to ask me since I was also a moderator in the server. To my surprise, I had also been kicked off the server. I tried to message Abby about it, but got no response. Only for a couple of hours later. Got a message from one of her friends, saying that I had been kicked off for talking shit about her, which I could never recall doing. To this day. I am still very confused on the situation, but I’ve decided to let it go. AITA?",AITA for helping my friends now ex-boyfriend,NTA
10zqtm7,"I, (17 M) took a flight to a state. We arrived at about 12AM and my dad got a rental car for my siblings, my mom and IHe then woke me up at 6:30 to get on the road to College A. I fell asleep and he woke me about 15 minutes before we got there, and asked where we were supposed to park. I checked the confirmation email I got, and it said to park behind some building. But once we got there I was confused, since the gate wasn’t automatically opening and there were signs saying to download an app in order to park. Remembering that I saw those same signs in front of the Visitor Center, I suggested parking over there.My dad started saying “This is stupid. Why didn’t you do research before we got here so we know where to park?” I kept quiet and read the email again. I was confused because the email didn’t mention anything about an app we had to download and he started lecturing me again.We pulled up to the Visitor Center and walked in and they informed us that the center didn’t open until 10:00, and that there wasn’t a tour available yet (we had tour reservations for 10:30 already) So we got back in the car, and he started saying that “this was stupid” and that I was “wasting his time”. Then I suggested we just do a self-guided tour instead so we didn’t have to wait, and he begrudgingly agreed. We’d been walking 20 seconds when he asked me if the tour we were doing later was including a dorm tour. I answered no b/c I signed us up for a basic campus tour. Once I said that he just turned back around and got back in the car.He went on and on about how I’m stupid and how I wasted his time and money because he spent $400 on tickets for the rest of my family to get us to NC and that he wasted 2 hours for us to not even get a dorm tour. He’d been laying into me and then after a minute of silence, I opened the door and left. I needed some space away from him.I walked a bit down the street and stood there. 40 minutes go by. He didn’t call me or come looking for me or anything. I went back inside the Visitor Center, close to crying. The lady at the front desk let me in, and once she asked me if my dad was coming, I started sobbing.she comforted me and reassured me that I’m not stupid. She got me water and told me I could still get a housing tour if I walked to the Jackson Hall. Then my mom called me and lectured me for leaving the car and told me to apologize.So I went back to the car, and told him the information that I’d gotten and we both walked to the other hall and went through with the tour.As we walked back to the car after the tour, I said “I’m sorry things didn’t work out the way I’d planned at first. Next time, if we ever do another tour like this, I’ll be sure to do more research.” He just said my apology was not sincere. Then he told me that if I were to ever leave the car like I did again that I was to never call him my father and that he wouldn’t even want to see my face again. then we drove back to the hotel.So Reddit, AITA?",AITA for leaving the car during an argument?,NTA
10zoe8m,"This happened not too long ago my brother(18), my mom(60), and I(23) were sitting at our dining table about to pray, but before we pray we always have a little chat of things that we did. At one point of the conversation I mentioned that my brother bought some pokemon cards and a card binder from online. That was a mistake. She became angry with my brother telling him that he shouldn't buy useless things like that and that he should buy new clothes instead, which seems a bit much to me because his closet is filled with clothes. I, being the older and talk back brother, say that it's his money, he can do whatever he wants with it so long as it's nothing illegal.Our mother then gets angry with me for defending him and for not stopping him or telling her what he was going to buy. I stay silent so that we can pray and go to bed, but then I had the grand idea that should tell her that bought somethings as well. I told her that I bought 1 Yugioh card, a card binder, and a card holder. She gets angrier and commends us to never buy those useless things ever again. I, being the stubborn guy that I am, start staring at the recent things that she bought, a new set of kitchen knives, a bread box, and a TV stand. We already have a lot of kitchen knives that we have them in different drawers, the old TV stand is still great and looks lovely, and I don't even know why she got the bread box when we can just keep them inside their bags. She catches on to what I'm doing and says that I have no right to judge her on things that she bought because she has worked hard for them, she has always taken care of us, and that we've always had something to eat. I agree with her that she has worked hard, that she has always taken care of us, and that we have always had food on the table. She has every right to buy what ever she wants with her money, and I don't really care what she buys, that  is until she starts to badmouth the things that we buy with our own money that we have saved. I then go silent because I grow tired  of arguing, but she continues on. By the time she finishes I have tiers from frustration, from anger that such a small comment can set her off. We calm down a bit and we start to pray, and when we finish we each say night.So am I the AITA?",AITA Argument with my mom,NTA
10zrl21,"English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry for any mistakes. It happened 3 years ago but it was recently brought up by some friends, so I'm wondering if I really was the AH as they said. I (19F, 16 at the time) was in my second year of High School (it's 3y here). I wasn't in a good place mentally, I did treatment for anxiety and depression but some time later I'd discover I was being wrongly medicated so it wasn't really effective. School, more specifically classes, made me feel really overwhelmed and anxious. It wasn't a secret, since I'd spend whole classes crying or go out suddenly. Then, I just decided to not go in anymore. I went to school since I needed to, but I'd stay outside in the common areas playing games or reading until I could leave. Despite that, I still got some of the best grades in most subjects. Now, I didn't study at home, unless you call a 5 minute skimming through pages before the tests studying. I was simply good at academics. I had noticed some people looking at me strange and overheard some saying stuff like ""That bastard doesn't even come and still gets such grades"", but I didn't care. But there was a day where I was attending class because of a test, and one of my teachers commented on my absences and ended saying ""Don't you think it's disrespectful to the other students who can't do the same?"" and there were some agreeing noises. I simply said ""I'm not to blame for other's incapabilities."" and went to do something else.Recently, some friends said most classmates thought I was an asshole for skipping classes, getting good grades and acting like it was the most natural thing in the world, and this day just cemented my status as an AH for everyone since I sounded arrogant and like I was better than everyone else. It made me rethink and while I understand my past self actions at the time, I'm not sure if I was an AH. AITA?",AITA for calling my classmates incapable?,NTA
10zriox,"I (18F) a university student, have two friends from my home town Beth (18F) and Sarah (16F) that I haven't seen since we went on a trip in the beginning of December 2022. In the 2 months since I've seen them I have consistently been trying to facetime them to catch up on day to day stuff and also bigger things that have happened. But they always have an excuse not to or just straight up ignore me. Beth and I fell out at the end of our trip and have made up over text but don't talk consistently anymore. She messaged our small group to ask to meet up but didn't have anything in mind as to what to do, or even when. I suggested a free art gallery visit and she said it was a good idea and the conversation ended. I have since asked for updates on transport and times but only had radio silence. Sarah is still a high-school student and was busy with studying for prelims but has a weeks break in February, and the date for the gallery visit is the end of her break. And since deciding the date it's been radio silence again. I've reached out to both of them multiple times to ask what time we should meet up and had no response. We have a week to get the details ironed out but I've been asking for details for two weeks now. Neither Beth or Sarah seem enthusiastic about meeting up at all. WIBTA?",WIBTA for cancelling a catchup with friends I haven't seen in 2 months,NTA
10ztkxr,"Short post.Kids recently got hoverboards, don’t worry we checked the ages and they’re appropriate + only used were safe, like our garden and with helmets.Kids are great on them, no accidents and they love them.Wife decided to try one out, insisted on our daughter (12) holding her hand - daughter did then snatched her hand away and my wife fell over.Wife laughed it off and so did I , she called it giggling though but I don’t really think it was, must’ve been worse than we thought though because we were in ER because of her wrist (it’s sprained and she’s got some back pain)She called me out for laughing earlier, I said I wouldn’t have had I known she was hurt or if she didn’t laugh.She wants an apology, I think she’s overreacting because I wouldn’t have laughed if I knew she was hurt - she didn’t even know she was that hurt.AITA? Might be missing info but I’m in a rush",AITA for “giggling” after my wife fell over?,YTA
10zqzr4,"I'll preface this with why I feel I might be TA. Dad has a history of abuse and neglect with his parents, and they tried everything in their book to keep him literally ""enslaved."" For the most part he had broken away from his family's toxicity, but when it came to me he was extra insecure and extremely overprotective which might give a very small bit of validation to his concern because of which my coercion may have been unfair.Hi Reddit, 20 year old guy in university here. This story is from a few years back, but is relevant to what's going on right now. When I was first looking into universities about 2 1/2 years back, there was a lot of clash between me and my parents over choices relating to where I can go to study. Before that there were clashes about how much I had to study for grades/SAT, and balancing with extracurriculars, etc. I was a near-straight As student with the occasional B and I loved playing football, and was team captain briefly.My parents had different approaches to working out differences with me. Dad used to scream and yell in attempts to force me to do something while mom would use more of a ""negotiation"" system and would discuss properly what we should do and not do. But when it came to choosing where to go, I did have some relatively bad choices early on, again dad was completely dismissive, while mom talked me down by explaining why the stuff I was looking at was bad, but I got a rather good selection in the end.So I landed a nicely funded program in the uni I'm currently at. Dad didn't like the uni for bullshit reasons, despite it being Ivy-level (West Coast though) so he attempted to force me into not attending, and refused to fill FAFSA, even going far as to threaten me with police stuff to prevent me from going (I was a minor). I gave him silent treatment for 2 months after that, and threatened mom with the same if she forced me to speak to him. Eventually he did relent, and actually gave up his toxic attitude. It's been smooth sailing for the 3 of us since. Coming to why this is relevant. One of my dad's only friendly people on his side of family died. He didn't want to, but agreed to attend the funeral. We also went, and for the most part, kept distance from his parents and sister. Eventually when we did catch up with them, well things were bullshit to say the least, they started passive aggression towards him, and towards me. Mom eventually pulled us both out of that situation, dismissing dad's sister aggressively (yay mom!). According to them, the ""spoiled child raised another spoiled child."" What the hell? Was my reaction. Dad eventually opened up to me later that he realized he was acting like his own dad towards me when it came to the university thing, and was very sorry for that. I realized I was inconsiderate of what he went through when I coerced him by silent treatment.So hence, AITA for giving dad silent treatment so that he'd back off from my university choice?",AITA for giving my dad silent treatment so that he couldn't coerce me into not attending the university of my choice?,NTA
10zqnib,"My niece (29F) is getting married this summer. Her fiance (age unknown, M) is from Massachusetts so the decided to get married in Cape Cod on a weekend this summer. I (62M) respect that. However, my wife is a retail pharmacist (58F) working for an independent pharmacy with all that entails (good pay but hours that are, shall we say, often inconvenient). The only way we can attend destination weddings is if it is possible to get fly out on Friday (wife gets ever other Friday+weekend off) and get back reasonably early on Sunday so she isn't dangerously tired at work the next moring. We live in a small college town that is 1.5 hours from any airports that have a regular schedule, but even then there are no direct flights to Boston or Providence.All the travel guides say to plan on 4 hour drives to get to Cape Cod from either airport on a summer Friday evening and 4 hours to get off Cape Cod on summer Sunday. We'd have to leave home at 5 AM Friday to get to Cape Cod by 11 PM Friday and leave Cape Cod about the same time to get home at a reasonable (safe for pharmacy work the next day) hour. We're also worried about travel delays because if she isn't back by Monday it causes serious problems for a small, independent pharmacy. When we go on vacation (scheduled 6 months in advance so that the pharamcy can arrange cover) we usually come back a day early for a buffer in case of flight cancelations.My sister (66F) texted me earlier this week asking me if we would be there because she needed a head count for a Friday party she was holding. I told her that the location made it too much for even a three day weekend trip and that we would not be attending. We've had situations like this in the past and I've told her several times that we if we cannot reasonably do it in a weekend, we cannot do it. Well, I got a text back from her that started ""Well, it was really hard to read that my daughter (YOUR NIECE!) isn't worth more than a weekend..."". I haven't opened the full message (and probably won't) so I don't know the rest of the message says.So, AITA (or would it be ""Are we the assholes?"") for not going? Every wedding guide I found in a web search said that if you have a destination wedding you should gracefully accept that some people will not be able (or will simply choose not) to attend.",AITA for not attending niece's wedding,NTA
10zs46h,"My husband has had a very difficult pandemic period. It made him very depressed and triggered alcohol addiction issues to make it simple. Now he is making a lot of effort and progress on that front, but we're still not back to where we were before it all happened.He hasn't seen my family in at least a year or two. He hates their dog and my family annoys him for some reason. My parents have not been the best parents to me growing up and we had a family feud a few years ago too, but I still go there from time to time, maybe once every few months. Today is my father's birthday and I asked hubby to join me for the occasion earlier this week. He said yes, but been moody since. I said nothing, but I kinda knew that he didn't want to. We basically eloped, so no big wedding or anything. We've been together for 6 years and he has NEVER met some of my best friends. Last year when I was a bridesmaid to one of them, he was supposed to come with me, but again, on the day, he decided he didn't want to go and didn't. It annoyed me a lot. I was mad, but he was dealing with a lot on his end so I downplayed it. Some of my other friends and I go brunching every two months, I used to invite him along but after he canceled on the day so many times, I stopped. So when he told me earlier he didn't want to go tonight for my dad... I got annoyed and said so. I said I didn't want to justify AGAIN why he's not there. Now he says that I shouldn't guilt him into going. That he shouldn't have to do something he simply doesn't want to. I get that depression plays a part in all that, but still. I do things all the time ""for him"" even when I'd rather do something else. So AITA to still request him to come and get over himself. To just want him to silently agree to do something FOR ME even if annoys him.",AITA for being sad my husband never comes with me to my parents' or friends,NTA
10zjj4h,"im sorry for phone formatting but i really need go vent. anyways my best friend (16,M) and i (16,F) have known each other most our lives since we are family friends.recently he bought a spotify premium family acc and added me as a member, which i was incredibly grateful for. Yesterday, suddenly, i was removed by the “family organiser” which is him. so i texted him if i had done something wrong, and when he didnt reply i ended up buying a spotify premium on my own and i told him that i no longer needed his plan. this is already so petty and immature but its been eating me up.anyways, usually i dont confront my problems or people that often because i deal with bad anxiety and it gets especially worse in situations when i feel ive angered a loved one. anyways, so my best friend came at me and started bombarding me that i should stop always blaming him for everything and that had i asked him earlier he wouldve helped me log back in. I’ve reassured him continuously that i’m not blaming him, and that i just noticed something odd and asked him about it. he has since been scrutinising me and has told one of our other best friends that i came at him out of nowhere and it seems like im trying to make him feel bad about it, this best friend has also called me and told me im being a sh!tty friend. But i’m really not trying to make him feel that way.He’s not picking up any of my calls or replying to my texts. am i in the wrong? i really dont know if i should apologise first or wait for him to give me the chance to. i dont see what ive done wrong. i cant physically stop talking to him since well be going to the same boarding school later this year, hes also a really big part of my life. i dont know what to do.thank you already!",AITA for asking my best friend if i’d done something wrong,NTA
10zr9tm,"Waiting to go out for the day with the baby in the car, I’m standing outside beside the car because I have to move my car first to let him out then park back in the garden. 2 minutes pass and I ask in at him is he ready, yes I’m coming now. 3 more minutes pass and he arrives. I ask what he was doing when we literally were all ready to go and he went back in and suddenly I’m the asshole. He says it’s a psychotic and controlling question to ask someone, and demands an apology.So AITA for asking what he was doing..?",AITA for asking him what he was doing?,ESH
10ztp6p,"Throw away bc my wife is on redditI (33m) am currently on a trip with my wife (32f) visiting my in laws and staying in their home. I am a huge vaper and have used it to quit cigarettes. For me the great thing about vaping is I can do it inside every once in a while. I've gotten really good at finding the right moment to vape indoors and not be seen (all about human psychology which I'm fascinated by). I was able to vape all through the flight with no repurcussions.So the first few days of our trip I've been successfully vaping inside my in-laws house without MIL or FIL knowing (not a ton, just intermittently through out the day). Then my BIL and his wife arrived (both 29). I thought they would be cool about the situation so didn't bother to hide my vaping from them. The first day they didn't say anything though thinking back they did share a look when I was vaping in the sun room. The next day during dinner I snuck a hit while FIL was getting some rolls and MIL had her back turned uncorking wine.My SIL leaned over and quietly asked if I could not vape indoors and that she doesn't want to be exposed to second hand smoke. I felt this was really ingnorant and could not let her comment stand. I informed her that there is no smoke it's in fact vapor and she wasn't going to be affected by it (I've done my research). At this point in the conversation my MIL and FIL figured out what we were talking about and it turned into a whole situation. I'm now officially banned from vaping in the house.I was kind of pissed about my SIL ratting me out then the last night of the trip she announced her pregnancy. Now I'm wondering if it was just the hormones making her sensitive and I should have been more understanding.AITA for vaping indoors?",AITA for vaping indoors?,YTA
10ztg2v,"My fiancé’s (F29) sister (F32) is an accountant. Very introverted, slightly awkward, but overall a nice person. As such, she doesn’t really have any friends but does have a long time boyfriend (M30). Their relationship is interesting. They mostly seem like close friends but they’re together and seem happy. Every year, my fiancé does something with her sister for her birthday. They have tickets to a concert that she purchased in Oct. of 2022 and the concert takes place in Oct. of 2023. Coincidentally, one of my best friends happens to be getting married the same day as the concert. I work on the road a lot due to my apprenticeship forcing me to move from job to job until it’s completed. I’ll be settling down in June with her but due to the constant moving around, my fiancé hasn’t met many of my friends. We’re all kind of spread out. I’ve been making a solid effort to get my fiancé involved in my friend group as she’s graciously gotten me involved in hers (great people, love ‘em all) and this wedding is definitely part of that. I’ve been asked to be a groomsman. When I found out about the wedding and concert dates clashing, I asked my fiancé if she could maybe skip the concert this year to attend this very important thing with me and meet more of my friends. She declined saying that it was important to her sister and that she also wanted to attend this concert. I pointed out that the concert takes place every year but my friend is only getting married once. She stated that these plans were essentially set in stone and can’t be changed. I’ve attended many family functions with her and what miffs me is that her sister’s boyfriend doesn’t attend ANY of these functions. He seems to have one reason or another for not tagging along. In my mind, the boyfriend needs to step up here and attend this concert rather than my fiancé. I get the impression that the sister, due to her lack of friends, sort of tries to keep my fiancé all to herself as much as she can. This concerns me because I plan on starting a family and want to be sure that my fiancé is putting the needs of our family first. Anyway, I’m really disappointed about this and am embarrassed to tell people why she won’t be attending. AITA for wanting her to change her plans?Edit: I am seeing the error of my ways. Thank you for the guidance. I have not broached the issue with her since this conversation but have been silently stewing on it. Your responses made it evident that my thinking was inherently flawed. Thank you for pointing it out. I needed it. In short IATA.",AITA for wanting my fiancé to cancel plans with her sister to attend a wedding with me?,YTA
10ztatz,"Short story long, last night I was in a bar with friends & colleagues, and as some of them were leaving, we made an innocent comment about someone we barely knew, who minutes before were complaining about some work-related shit. My friend told me they were behind me, so I asked her “do you think they heard us?”. She asked if I was worried about it, and I said well, I am. Then she said that “the only thing I worry is about keeping up appearances”. I said that yes, on one hand I did worry about how shit makes me look, and also, on the other hand I was also worried that another person I barely knew heard me saying their name and that they might be hurt thinking I was saying something bad about them. I told her that her remark about my character made me feel unvalued and hurt, and then she got angry, and started calling me names, like “a f***ing manipulator”. When I heard that, that was it, I started walking away. She sort of faux-pologized (“I’m sorry you feel offended by me”), but went to suggest how dared I feel offended, when “she had loved me more than anyone else in my entire f***ing life”. This was kind of a red flag to me and the conversation was going nowhere, so we called it a night. AITA for calling her out on that comment about my character?",AITA for calling out my friend on a hurtful comment?,ESH
10zt4c7,"This is kind of a long story so I’ll try to get as many of the details as I can. This all began in March of 2021 when I needed to have some repairs done to my car. I worked at a dealership but even w/ my employee discount it was going to be about $2000 worth of work. I spoke to a friend that i worked w/ and he said that if I bought the parts that he would fix it for free. (I never intended to let him do it for free, was still going to give him something for his time.) During this time I also had someone interested in buying the car after the work was complete. About a month goes by and i start hearing from my friend that it’s taking longer than expected and may need to get more parts. This was no big deal at the time bc i had another vehicle to drive and could afford to leave the other vehicle in the shop. Fast forward 2 years (between 2021-to present) i continued hearing that there were issues w/ parts, needs more time etc. neither of us worked at the dealership anymore so I don’t really see him as regularly as I did. And then I’m lucky to hear from him about once a month even though I’ve texted daily for updates. I texted a group chat w/ other friends to try to get a response from him. He texted me back almost immediately and says “wow, really.” I respond w/ a snarky comment about trying to get his attention. All the time this is going on he is giving me timelines the vehicle should be finished. Started out hearing it would be ready by the end of April in 2021 and it keeps getting pushed back. This week I texted him and said that my wife and i would be reporting the vehicle as stolen as his communication has gotten worse and worse. All I hear are empty promises and broken deadlines. My wife had texted him moments before me saying that we would need an answer within the next two weeks. She calls me and says she wants to report it Friday (yesterday). At this point is when I text him to give him a heads up of what our plans were. He then copy and pasted my wife’s message that said we needed two weeks and sends that to me. He says it will be ready and at our house on the 19th this month, and if it’s not to proceed w/ reporting it stolen. Am i the asshole?",AITA? I had a friend “working” on repairs for my vehicle for the last two years,NTA
10zswme,"I'm an 18 year old F and my grandma, 60, is getting married soon. I have no idea who she's getting married to as I've never met the guy before. Both my mom and my aunt weren't invited for some reason, but me and my younger sister were. My grandma asked me if I could be a ""junior bridesmaid"" at her wedding and I had replied, ""not really, no."" She was like ok and walked away. My great grandmother, who was in the room at the time, had asked me why I didn't agree with it. I just said that I didn't want to and how I didn't even know the guy she was going to marry. She proceeded to say ""shame on you"" to me and continue on doing whatever she was doing. It's making me think I was wrong to refuse to this. She is my grandma, but it hasn't felt that way recently. Am I wrong for refusing??",AITA for refusing to be a bridesmaid at my grandma's wedding?,NTA
10zq3a9,"For Christmas I got my boyfriend Nike socks, adidas pants, 2 candles that he likes, & a ps5 game. I gave it to him on 12.20 since I’ll be away on Christmas. When I asked about mine he said he didn’t order it yet. Im like okay cool no worries. A week goes by. I ask again. Still didn’t order. Says he doesn’t have money yet he always orders out every night & spends $$ on a new game. No worries again. Feeling a way but it’s fine.A month goes by. We go to the mall I do some shopping & he goes wherever to get my gift. We come home & he hands me the gift. No wrapping, no bag, nothing. It’s AirPods Pro’s. I look at him confused. I say - “I’m not trying to sound ungrateful but why did you get me AirPods?”Because your old ones suck. Now. They do suck but they still WORK. I was thinking of getting new AirPods but I barely use the one I have now & I was waiting on them to fully die. Another thing about this situation is I have weird ears. AirPods Pro’s do not fit in my ears. They fall out easily. I can only use the original ones & he knows this. On top of all of this, he got them engraved. I don’t think you can return them. He ends up taking them for himself leaving me without a Christmas gift still. Am I the asshole for not taking the AirPods ?",AITA for not accepting my bf Christmas gift?,NTA
10zjjmo,"I (20M) has several best friends. Kayla(20F), Jacob(20M) and Nina(20F). Both Kayla and Jacob has their own group of friends, while Nina is Jacob's girlfriend. At first, I would only hang with their group separately, but sometimes I would just invite both groups to hang together, with Nina even becoming fast friends with Kayla's group.Things got icky after Nina decided to break up with Jacob. It was her decision, so both me and Kayla's group respected her decision. Jacob however didn't deal with the break up too greatly. So while we would still hang out together, Jacob said he doesn't want to meet Nina if possible. In consideration of Jacob's feelings, whenever I wanted to make plans, I constantly needed to tip toe around everyone. If I hang out with Jacob's group, I won't invite Kayla's group too, and vice versa. This lead to Kayla's group questioning me why I no longer hang out with them as often, but I only did this because if I invited them while hanging out with Jacob's group, Nina would be the only one left alone. Kayla's group would still join me with Jacob's group from time to time however, and Nina noticed this.After some weeks of tip toeing like this, it was my birthday. I hang out with Kayla's group and Nina during the evening, and I planned to hang out with Jacob's group during the night. However the conundrum appeared as Kayla's group will also be joining in the night. I felt like an AH, keeping this a secret to Nina on my birthday of all days, so I came clean about it, and invited her. And I know Jacob wouldn't want to meet with Nina, so I told him that Nina would be there, and that he doesn't need to come if he doesn't want to. I thought this was the best course of action for everyone.Kayla caught wind off this and said that I was inconsiderate to both Nina's and Jacob's feeling for doing this. Saying that I should've just kept it a secret from Nina, and that we've already hung out with Nina anyways, so by doing this, I'm just excluding Jacob for no reason. I didn't know how to reply to this. Nina thanked me for telling her, and said that she was saddened to realize that Kayla thought it's okay to keep this a secret from her again.In the end, Nina said she won't be coming because she wanted to let me hang out with Jacob, so we all hung out with Jacob's group without Nina that night. But all of this left a really bad taste in my mouth. AITA? I felt like even if I didn't tell Nina, she would still figure out later and i would still be the AH. This whole situation feels so stupid to me.",AITA for not wanting my best friend to be left out during my birthday.,NTA
10ztx4r,"I have a 10 years old daughter with my ex husband. After our divorce his sister moved in with him to help him raise our daughter.My ex sil and I never got along. She can't have any kids and she was always jealous of me because she loves kids. Now she acts as if she is my daughter's mom. When my daughter was younger she was even calling her mom for a while but I corrected her and tought her to say aunt instead.Last night my daughter came out of her room in the middle of the night and asked for her ipad(we take it away at nights to make sure she doesn't play with it instead of sleeping) I asked why and she said she had a bad dream and wants to talk to her mom. I was devastated. I told her I'm her mom and I will help her go to sleep but she insisted to talk to her aunt so we allowed it. I didn't say anything to my daughter but this morning I called my ex sil and told her she needs to stop acting like my daughter's mom, she is not her mom, I AM. I said if she tries to do this again I'll take them to court and get more custody because I think they are alienating my childShe called me an asshole and a jealous b*tch for trying to ruin their relationship and basically implied that I can't do anything about it and she is not going to change things",AITA for trying to change things?,YTA
10ztw6n,"I (F20s) live with my dad and mom's house whilst I go to college. I pay rent but below market value.Basically my mom asked me to paint the back garden fence as it hasn't been painted in a while and she thinks it looks rundown and she ""wanted to give me something to do"".She didn't specify what colour she wanted the fence and she's never been particular about what the garden looks like, so I just assumed I could paint it any colour. I don't know if it matters but before I painted it it was brown btw.There was some black paint in my dad's shed so I painted the fence black.When I was half way through painting the fence, my mom realised I was painting it black and started getting annoyed. She said it looks miserable and that I have no common sense, and that ""you just can't paint garden fences black, people don't do that"".I didn't see why it was such a big deal plus I've already painted a good amount of it so I may as well paint all of it so it's even.She got my dad involved who said I should've checked what color would be okay first, as it's not my house and not my fence.My mom won't drop it and keeps going on and on about how I ruined the fence and that it looks terrible and how I can't be trusted with such a simple task.",AITA for painting the fence black?,NTA
10zttop,"So for some context on this, my ex step mom (35f), let’s call her D, and her mother (72f), let’s call her B, used to abuse me. I went through 10 years of child abuse from both of them. They were on drugs and always drunk at the time and are better now after going to rehabilitation centers as ordered by courts. But yesterday, I found out from my ex step-grandmother that my mother, let’s call her P, and my grandmother(my mothers mom), let’s call her S, that P had went to confront B about talking or even associating with me, which i don’t mind if D or B interact with me, they’re better now and they were very big parts of my life at one point and that means something. But P decided it was okay to throw out a bunch of threats towards B and was saying stuff along the lines of, “We’re going to have problems” “My child is going to get a restraining order on you” “I’ll hurt you if you talk to him” etc etc. My grandma, S, said nothing but nice things about me. But the whole court situation between me and D has just ended about a year ago so this is all still freshly dying down within my family. But anyways i confronted my grandma about this and she didn’t understand why i was mad when i’ve verbally set boundaries with both of them about going and talking to B about me in any way shape or form. I feel like that’s reasonable to ask of family about people that have abused you in the past yknow? But S kept trying to ask me if she wasn’t allowed to talk to another woman about their “problems” that they’ve had in their lives with one another, and i never said anything like that because quite frankly i don’t care if they talk to her just not about me. And i tried explaining that and she didn’t seem to understand and continued to put words in my mouth. At one point I had to tell her that i needed to hang up otherwise i was going to say something that i’d regret saying. Thank god i didn’t. Because i don’t want to hurt anyone over this even tho i’m really fuckin hurt. She tried saying that she could take it and i could say whatever to get whatever it was that i needed to get off my chest but i had already tried explaining how it wasn’t okay to cross a very clear boundary i had set and how i was frustrated and hurt by it and she still didn’t seem to understand. As of now i haven’t talked to my mother about this but i will pretty soon. So AITA for getting mad at them? I’m sorry this is all over the place, im still wrapping my mind around this but i don’t have anyone in my family that i can currently talk to about this. So i’d like y’all’s input on it?",AITA for confronting my grandmother (67f) and mother (46f) for talking to my ex step-grandmother about me?,NTA
10ztqz7,"So this is my first time using reddit and this is a long one so bare with me. This story involves myself (27m) my parents and my 2 younger sisters (age:23 and 20). This all started when I was 16 when my parents separated, and my dad went to live with his new girlfriend. My mom spiraled out of control and her already bad drinking problem (maybe drugs) became significantly worse. The night of my 17th birthday I was playing on the computer and my mom was being super annoying so I called her out for being drunk for whatever reason and we got into a blow out. I proceeded to tell her I was taking the family computer to my dads and leaving and this escalated to her trying to smack me. I of course did not allow this and grabbed her hand and told her not to hit me and she then told me I am not allowed to stop her from hitting me and she tried again. I ended up bear hugging her and left for my dads girlfriends. This was the downfall of our relationship. I had been fed up with the drinking and abuse and my dad appeared to finally be happy so I left indefinitely. (My younger sisters still did 50/50)I finished my senior year of high school and never heard a word from my mom. During this time she lost our family home and resort we had a place at. Mind you she lied and said she was paying for both of these things up until they were repossessed, and she couldn't lie any longer. Both of these were supposedly still in my dads name holding him accountable for half (I say supposedly because I have no proof but he still complains about it to this day). Shortly after this I went to court with my dad against my mom fighting for full custody of my sisters because she was a drunk and her home was gross. My dad got custody but my mom got weekends I believe. After the custody battle my mom went on to get 3 DUIs and one of which was a car accident with my sister in the car earning her a child endangerment charge (it was dropped somehow and she still has a license).My dads house was not the best experience trying to get along with his girlfriend so I moved out at the age of 19 to live with my now fiancé and her family. After I left my sisters took on the brunt of the abuse from my dads girlfriend and found that they liked being at my moms better because she was trying to be better (she stopped drinking or at least as much as she was) and she bought my sisters whatever they wanted. My dad was not pleased with this as he spent lots of money getting full custody of them to get them away from my mom but not realizing he and his girlfriend were being abusive.\------Continued below because of character limits------",AITA My mom insists on me having a wedding but offers very little help,NTA
10ztf87,"So my friend recently started dating a new guy like 3 weeks ago. In those 3 weeks she broke up with him twice for him not meeting one of her standards. Last Saturday she broke it off because he wanted to see his friends over the weekend but she demands he see hee once every weekend. Then She calls me yesterday saying a few days ago they became officially in a relationship since he apologized. She then says she wants me to meet him asap so I can tell her what I think of him.I said woah slow down you just became official 2 days ago and last weekend you were saying how stupid he was. I said I will meet him in a couple months once the two of you are established and in a serious relationship. I also mentioned my social anxiety and fear of 3rd wheeling so I Said I don't want to meet someone unless you're sure this is the guy you want to be with. She got annoyed saying I have to meet him soon bc she wants my opinion and told me to just get over my fear of 3rd wheeling. She said oh he's going out of town in March so u should meet him this month bc waiting til April is too long. Like what?? If this is the man you'll be marrying I don't think it's such a big deal to wait til you've been dating him a couple months for me to meet him.Am I wrong for saying this?? I should add that I've been questioning our friendship in general lately too because she only talks about men the entire hang out despite me askintlg her to talk less about it and hasn't shown much interest in my life other than an obligatory ""how are you?"" After talking about herself for hours. so why I must rush out to meet this guy where I'm sure the whole night will be about them anyway. Ugh.",AITA for not wanting to meet my friend's new bf?,NTA
10zt83e,"I love them- they're family- but they don't treat my mom well (their daughter). They criticize her, to her face, and nothing she does ever seems to be enough for them. There's always something that isn't up to their standards, and they make sure to tell her.​My uncle (their son) and aunt are expecting a girl, and decided to name her after my grandma. My mom, however, didn't name either of her kids after her parents, although my brother's middle name is after my uncle. While they don't explicitly say it, my grandma's been making sure to tell my mom *what an honor* it is to have a granddaughter named after her, and how *nice* it was of my uncle to do that. It's an implied, ""and why couldn't you name *your* kids after us""?​She recently flew out to visit them, and my uncle and aunt offered for her to stay at their house. She accepted, and my grandparents got offended that she didn't stay at *their* house, despite the fact that my uncle offered first. On top of that, my mother had the *audacity* to not spend every single day of her visit with them, and my grandma promptly hung up on her when she said she wasn't joining them for dinner because she was taking my uncle and aunt out to a nice dinner as thanks.​They've completely lost their filter in their old age, and don't think they're saying anything bad, just speaking their mind. So, if I suddenly lashed out, It'd be ""out of nowhere"". I just don't know if I could stay polite and nice if they talked shit about my mom in front of me, or implied it. My mom is a fantastic woman, and I couldn't have asked for a better mother. She's a great parent, and has treated me with nothing but love and kindness during my recent mental health struggles. ​The conflict, for me, is what I feel is an obligation, as family, to visit them before they pass in a few years, and the fact that they treat me well. How can I avoid them when technically they've done nothing wrong to me? If they haven't personally wronged me, wouldn't I be TA if I treated them as if they had? They've always been nice to me, even if I always feel like I'm walking on eggshells around them. Also, so far they haven't said anything bad about my mom in front of me, and I'm not really supposed to know that they've said things to her face.​I could probably make it through a visit to them, but man, I really don't want to. I wouldn't feel comfortable, and I don't know how I'd react if they said anything about my mom. But also, they're the only grandparents I have left, and they're really getting on in years. So, I'm supposed to visit them, aren't I? I don't really have a valid excuse not to.​So, WIBTA if I continued avoiding visiting them, even if it means they pass without me seeing them in person again? I wouldn't be going NC or anything, I'd still talk to them over the phone sometimes, but I also wouldn't see them face-to-face.",WIBTA If I didn't visit my grandparents?,NTA
10zhmiv,"(Sorry if it's all over the place, English isn't my first language.) I 20f has been living with my grandparents and aunt, mostly because of some family drama and me moving just makes everyone happier. Here's the issue I usually get paid about three thousand-ish (south african rand) and would normally give my mom (used to live with her, her husband and five siblings before moving) around a thousand rand when I get paid. I've only been working for about six months and just got permanent ( me, my mom and sister work at the same place) Last month was a really good pay day, mostly due to us having to work two holidays so I was able to give both my mom and aunt each a thousand plus extra but I still managed to run out in just a few days. Though it might be due to my own budgeting faults. I'm afraid this month I won't be ble to give both my mom and aunt as much as they want but I think it's mostly my mom who's going to have an issue if I don't give her a thousand rand, my aunt is happy as long as I buy essentials since both my grandparents are on pension and she is currently waiting for pension as she recently turned 60 (not entirely sure of the situation) WIBTA if I gave my aunt a thousand rand and not my mom, seeing as I live with my aunt now and not my mom. I did make it clear to my mom that I would give her as much as I can but I want to be able to put aside transport money for the month first.",WIBTA If I didn't give my mom a thousand rand since I don't live with her anymore,NTA
10zswdk,"So I (F28) am getting married this month and I did not invite my (M32) “bestfriend”. Yes, bestfriend with the quotes because I stopped talking to him for about 6 months. And to be honest, I didn’t feel like we were really be bestfriends.It’s just that I feel like most of our friendship he was using me. From buying gifts for his then-girlfriend to contacting his bank, paying local bills, getting documents for him and having them notarized, etc. None of these were out of my pocket and he moved abroad so he cannot do them himself. Although, you can’t say I’m the only one he can depend on because he has a lot of other friends, close relatives, and basically a lot of connections. It’s not really a big deal to me but you know, a little token of appreciation would be nice. It’s not even because we’re in different countries that it’s impossible, I was able to send him wine but he cannot be bothered with sending even a holiday card?On his first visit after migrating, we had dinner with our other friends. He had me pay. But okay, I can let those slip. However, I also felt like he was too needy for a friend, not boyfriend level but still demanding. He gets sulky when I don’t catch up with him for a long time guilt tripping me saying my life is good that’s why I don’t remember him anymore. Like, hello, he did that to me. He basically ignored me when he had a girlfriend.  Oh, except on times when he needed my help on something. Also when they broke up and I was the one with him (virtually) the whole time he was getting through it.My last straw was when he was visiting again. He wanted to meet up but I’m like 50 miles away from where he’s staying. He said we can meet halfway in the city (technically, it’s still closer to his place). I was not eager with the idea as I recently just had 2 very minor car accidents and 2 traffic violations. I told him I developed a trauma in driving in the city, but my boyfriend and I, together with some friends (who were his former colleagues) are doing some errands somewhere a bit closer to him so maybe we can meet then. I thought it would also be a good opportunity for him to catch up with them as well. He shut down the idea and told me to stop juggling him with my errands and plans with other friends. I was getting annoyed but I still tried to come up with an agreement. However, after multiple back and forth, lots of bargaining, we still weren’t agreeing. So, I just stopped texting him back. That was like 6 months ago.I’m thinking I might be the asshole for not compromising since he’s visiting from abroad, that I just suddenly completely stopped texting him, and now that I did not invite him to my wedding. I’m thinking it might be the chance to reconcile with him. I don’t know, I still feel guilty about it sometimes. That’s why I’m asking, AITA?",AITA I stopped talking to my best friend and did not invite him to my wedding?,NTA
10zs1w4,"dramatic title i know but bear with me. (i am using a throwaway) my best friend (24F) and i (21F) went out to get drinks. prior to arriving we had agreed we would be going to my apartment after and she would drive. we get there, i drink more than i would if i were driving. we leave and i let her know i’m in fact drunk, to which she starts encouraging me to stay at one of my male friend’s houses. i absolutely DO NOT want to do that because the male friend in question has tried pressuring me in the recent past. (to her credit, information she doesn’t know.) i tell her that i’m fine and i really don’t feel comfortable sleeping there. she then informs me she won’t be sleeping at my house or driving to my house because “she doesn’t want to.” and then offers me to sleep at her house. i’ve never slept at her house, and i will not be sleeping at her house for reasons i won’t go into. but she knows this. she ends up leaving me with my car and going home. i express to her that i would have never drank as much as i did if i knew i would be driving at all, i also call her selfish and tell her if i were to crash and die it would be her fault. i said a lot more but those are the highlights. she responds to this by saying that i can’t put that on her, that she should be able to express how she feels, and that i should be fine to drive since it wasn’t that many drinks. she also tells me i have “options” and i could stay with male friend or stay at her house despite my feelings and comfort. i respond again by saying that if i knew i would have to drive at all i would not have drank this much etc etc. i can recognize the dramatics in my response to her but i personally find this so extremely wrong. i think it shows a lack of care for me and my safety and not the actions of a friend. my sister and other friend think i’m justified but my friend clearly doesn’t. so, am i the asshole?*EDITING TO INFORM EVERYONE I DID NOT DRIVE*",AITA for calling my best friend selfish and telling her it would be her fault if i crashed and died ?,NTA
10zj2pk,"So right after the pandemic I moved in with my aunt and her husband and their daughter and it’s been 2 years since then. No specific reason I moved other than the fact that they have a spare room and I wanted to live in the city. Both my uncle and my aunt have well paying jobs in the city as they work in tech, but my little cousin sister goes to a fancy school which has a pretty high tuition and we live in a very metropolitan area of the city. I wouldn’t consider us rich or anything, maybe comfortable, like upper middle class. Even so I have rarely borrowed any money from any of them if I can help it. My dad and I aren’t in Contact a lot because he’s in another state and I don’t enjoy asking him for money either since he’s paying off my sisters pricey college tuition in completion. For context, I’m homeschooled so I don’t have a high tuition other than my books and stationary I basically study everything by myself. I have a savings account and I rarely go out and spend money. I also have a part time job that gets me around 20 dollars a week or so if I have a shift during that time. Recently I have been going out every weekend as my friends are free and we wanted to hang out a bit before leaving for college. The only problem was that my savings account was meant to be for my first year of college and I’ve been saving since I was in 9th grade. I have around 400 dollars in the account which is more than enough for the country I intend to go to. My aunt and uncle are very generous with me and give me money whenever I ask but I have only asked like once or twice because it makes me so uncomfortable . I have had to cancel almost every plan because I simply cannot pay for much. I also live in a place where there aren’t many parks or anything so the only other thing is inviting them to my place or me going to theirs. My friends are very understanding but they get a little sad when I cancel plans right before we are set to go off to college. I don’t know what to do about this because I don’t want to end up asking for money even when they’re already doing so much for me but I also really miss going out with my friends. It also wouldn’t be fair for me to ask for an allowance because I’m not their kid. My dad is pretty unreliable when it comes to this stuff too, he often says he will and then he doesn’t and it makes me feel bad to keep asking knowing how much he has on his plate. How do I tackle this issue? AITA??Edit: I wanted to hang out with my friends because it’s a rare occurrence, I don’t have any classmates, since I’m homeschooled so it does get a little lonely, I try to stay in touch with all of my friends though and they miss me too, that’s it.",AITA for asking my aunt for money after I moved in with her and her family during the pandemic?,YTA
10zrsf1,"My cousin, let's call her Sarah, is always complaining about her job. She talks about how she's been in restaurant for decades and back in the day you had to work so much harder than us younger people etc. She's constantly saying these things that low-key belittle my work, and how much easier it is and how we ""don't really even have to work that much"" in office jobs. She goes on and on about how she wants better work life balance, and that it's not fair that so many jobs she could get don't pay enough etc. It's a constant stream of complaints whenever she comes to friend or family outings.She and my sister are now angry with me because I lost my patience and told her that we all make choices. She chose to continue in the restaurant career. And it's not like it's a secret how hard that work is. Despite her implications that us younger folks are spoiled, I actually started in restaurant in high school to help make ends meet. I worked full time my senior year because we were intermittently homeless. and I realized then that I needed to get an education so I could do more in life because I knew restaurant was never going to be a good job for me. I made the choice to go to college, and went with the cheapest possible option for me. While my day to day work is less physically challenging, I've spent years with essentially no income in order to build the skills necessary to get into that job, and if she thinks it's easy, I told her she's welcome to come spend a day at my office.I'm really not trying to be an a-hole, but I got so tired of the constant passive aggressive jealousy and I was honestly offended by her implication that someone from my background was just handed this kind of job on a silver platter. It was not an easy path for me at all, and I'd argue that it's hard for anyone to take the steps to build a career. I even suggested several Coursera certificates that would allow her to make a career change, but then all she talks about is how she's too old to learn new things. I told her I've seen numerous people make that change late in life (I actually know someone personally who took the Google certificate at 54 and got hired in Boulder), and that it seemed like she just wanted a free pass to complain constantly and snub our ""easy"" jobs, instead of actually taking steps to change the situation that she clearly doesn't like. AITA for calling this out or should I have just written it off as part of her family quirks and just let it go?",AITA for telling my cousin that her crappy job is her problem?,NTA
10ziv3d,"Hello, first of all, English is not my first language and im on my phone so sorry for any of my mistakes. I (19, f) am living in Turkey. As you know, Turkey had one 7.8 and one 7.6 earthquake on 6th February and i live in one of the most affected cities, Adana. My mom is from Hatay, where is the most affected city. My mothers side and we lost their everything we had in that city. My 82 years old grandfather had to stay under rubbles for 36 hours. The building next to our house collapsed with many other buildings around. Our house is damaged, we stayed in streets for two days and struggled to find some warm place and food. We lost some of our relatives and our friends. Many of my friends lost their family with everything they had. Luckily, everyone in my family is safe and healthy but as you can see, we are having traumatic experiences. I'm a university student and because of the earthquake, i dont have a computer to pick my classes for the semester and its nearly impossible for me to do it on my phone. I called the student services to get it done for me but there wasnt any quota for a teachers class. Its not a big deal. 2 days after the earthquake, we were able to go to a safer city and now we are staying at my cousins house. After 1 day we arrived here, a close friend of mine who lives in the same city as we are staying right now, called me to meet me. We were sitting at a cafe while another friend of us, lets call him E (19, m) called to tell that the teachers class has quota and i asked him to sign me up for that. I couldnt do it on my own, i mentioned why earlier. He couldnt do it. Still not a big deal. After that day we were talking on our group chat about that class and because of the conversation, i thought there was another quota opening and they didnt let me know. I said ""I wish you guys would let me know about it"". And then he said ""There was no other openings after the one i told you. Instead of telling me to do it for you thousands of times, do it on your own."" I saw red at that moment. We had a fight with him. I didnt say any curse words to him though. After the fight he said that he is sorry but i still feel so hurt. Other friend of mine told me that she gets my point but he probably worded it wrong and im exaggerating it, i shouldnt be that mean to him. I was so offended by his words because he knew that im not able to do it on my own and we are having super hard times right now. Classes are the last thing to think about for me in this situation, yet im still trying my best to do something about it. I dont think i deserved that attitude or that words. But when my friend said it was clear what he was trying to say but he just worded it wrong, i started to feel like i exaggerated it. I hope that you guys can understand what i was trying to explain, sorry for my English and any other mistakes. AITA?",AITA For Getting Mad At My Friends Words?,NTA
10zhmd2,"I (18M) have an older brother, Harry (21M). He has a new born son with his wife (23F) Maria.Harry and Maria have an awful relationship. They've been together for the past six years on and off and Maria is mentally abusive. She's insanely jealous to the point where she wouldn't let Harry hang out with our older sister, Shay (26F) because she's adopted and not a biological sister. Harry is genuinely the kindest person I know so I think he's just too in love to know what's best for himself, however, I do think Maria has cooled off since being pregnant and having the baby.Yesterday, my dad called me while I was on the way home from college. He asked me to watch my brother's son for max an hour. My nephew was at my house because Maria needed to go to the A&E and my brother was with her. My mum was at work, and my dad had a cough that he didn't want to pass on to my nephew. I was happy to do so because my nephew is adorable. My friend, Scarlet (17F), was supposed to come over to help with a project but she loves babies so she didn't mind helping me watch my nephew.About twenty minutes into watching him, my nephew started to cry and I couldn't settle him. Scarlet has been around a lot of babies and she's good with them, so she took him and she settled him quickly. He fell asleep on her, and when I tried to put him in his Moses basket, he would wake up and cry so we decided to let him nap in her arms. At some point, he spat up on her which I found hilarious so I took some pictures and put one on my private Snapchat story. My brother is on my priv, so he called me and told me to put my nephew in his basket. I explained that he cried every time he was moved, and my brother freaked out and went on this long rant about how I shouldn't have let Scarlet hold him because if Maria saw, she'd go nuts. I tried to explain that she had no reason to go nuts because Scarlet is just my friend doing me a favour but he wouldn't listen. He called my mum, who left work and was really annoyed at me when she got home. She told me that I should've known better because we know what Harry's relationship with Maria is like and he's going through a difficult time with a new born and his wife at the A&E. According to her, I shouldn't have let my nephew sleep on Scarlet and I should apologise to Harry. AITA for letting my friend hold my nephew because we all know his wife is insanely jealous and I should've been mindful of that?",AITA for letting my friend hold my nephew?,NTA
10zpwv7,"My(19M) friend(19M) let me know about his relationship of about 6 months.I found out that he call her potato,and he seems fine with it.I didn't even know her name and i never tried to found about her or talked about her with my friend.Recently he posted her photo saying ""best potato ever"".The next day he made some dish with potatoes and some vegetables for me.And i thought i can make a good joke about all this.so i clicked a picture of the food and put it on my status(WhatsApp) saying ""eating his(friend's name) potato 💀 dish(i dunno what this is)"".I called my friend and asked him to see my status at first he didn't understand and then he dm me saying now i got it and then we had a short conversation and he was all cool with it and said this was good.And then he send my status to his girlfriend.he thought she'll also be fine with it and will also find this a good joke.But instead she blocked him from everywhere and she's not even giving him a chance to talk. She told all this to her sis and then his sis talked trashed about my friend.She asked my friend that this isn't a good thing and he should talk to me about this.She said what he'll(me) do if someone talked about his sis like this.I asked my friend for her contact so that i can say sorry about all this but he didn't.Now I'm feeling like shit cause of all this.",AITA for making a joke about my friend's girlfriend?,YTA
1108ee4,"I (30M) found out yesterday that a new phone line was added to my wireless account. When I logged on and checked, it showed that I added the line from my account's username and that it was a new number. I called the number from my phone and a girl answered, who I immediately recognized as ""Marie"" (not her real name). Marie is the best friend of my girlfriend (30F). I asked her about this and she said to check with my girlfriend ""Laura"" (not her real name either) as she is the one who helped her set up eSIM on her phone with our provider. Some context, me and Laura have been dating 3 years and I've known Marie since. Me and Laura have been paying for our wireless lines (I'm the only account holder) for those 3 years. I asked Laura and she said ""it wasn't a big deal"". I asked if she or Marie was going to pay for it. She said neither of them would as we were ""helping out Marie for a bit, she couldn't pay her old phone bill anymore"". I called Marie and told her I'd be cutting her line off at 5pm unless she came up with a way to pay (the bill for Marie's line was $50/month.)I did not hear from her so I then went and disconnected Marie's eSIM online. I did not say anything until Marie called Laura from another phone and said hers wasn't working. I told Laura I cut it off and Laura said I was ""ungrateful"" and ""can't even help Marie out"". She then left and went over to Marie's house.When she came back she went straight to bed. When she got up this morning she left and says she's staying at a friend's house tonight. AITA?",AITA for disconnecting a phone line I didn't know about?,NTA
110d5zl,"I'm a 32 year old woman who lives alone in my own place that I own. Growing up I was never taught any typical home maintenance stuff, how to do basic repairs, what different tools are for etc because my dad is a bit of a chauvinist who thinks women don't need to know that, their husbands will.I learnt everything myself while renting shitty places throughout my 20's because it's easier than getting the landlord or agents to do it and now feel pretty competent when it comes to upkeep and repairs of my own place. That is except for anything electrical outside of changing lightbulbs. So about 6 months ago when my bedroom light went out and I discovered it wasn't the bulb I decided instead of paying for an electrician I would just get a bedside lamp which works a treat. There are no other electrical issues in the house, just this one light.Anywho recently my younger brother 'john' asked to stay at mine while I was away for a few days to get some space from the 5 other people he rents with. I said sure, no worries. The first night he's there he notices the bedroom light is out, I explain the situation and he decides to put a message in the family chat taking the piss out of me for not knowing how to look after my own place and sort shit out. My other 2 brothers and dad start laying into me for being negligent and not telling them so they could organise an electrician for me. I simply sent back 'john talk to me about homeownership when you aren't living in a six person share house with no way of buying your own place anytime soon'. Everyone is now calling me an asshole because John has been trying really hard to work and save so he can get his own place and now I feel pretty guilty.So AITA?",AITA for shaming my brother for renting?,NTA
1100h2y,"I am a 38m. Daughter (Isa, fake name) is 17f. Stepdaughter (Ava, also fake name) is 9f.Isa's stepfather recently died. I felt terrible because I knew while they weren't super close, he'd been in her life since she was 5, so I knew it must've hit hard. My family was also invited to the funeral.The issue is, however, is Ava has horrible social anxiety. She's homeschooled because of it and has difficulty going to social outings. She's in therapy and has an emotional support rabbit named Luna. Since this funeral would be pretty crowded, we decided to let Ava bring Luna to the funeral. Isa had a problem with that.Isa quickly told me she didn't think it was a good idea. Pets were not allowed at this particular cemetery. I told her this was a rabbit (what harm could it do?) and Ava had a medical reason for bringing her rabbit. She then looked it up on google and showed me only service animals were allowed to come. I told her I'd bring Luna, and if an issue arose, we'd leave. She begged me not to, saying her step-dad's death was already hard enough on her mom, and she didn't want any drama to make it worse. I told her I'd think about it and keep that in mind.The thing is, Ava needs her emotional support pet. She wouldn't make it through the funeral if she didn't. She also really wanted Ava there, so what else could we do?Isa drove to the funeral with her mom, while my family and I drove together. We brought Luna. Isa and her mom were waiting for us at the entrance when we got out. When Isa saw Luna, she freaked out and started yelling that she told me not to bring her.I explained Ava's needs, and she then screamed that Ava should've just stayed home then and caused Ava to cry (I felt bad because I know she was already dreading the social interaction, so hearing her sister say that must've hurt her badly). My wife and Isa got into it after that. (not so kind words were spoken by either party)Her mom took Isa's side and told us to leave. I agreed, and we went home. Isa has been giving me the cold shoulder, but I don't know how else I could've handled this differently.AITA?",AITA for bringing an emotional support animal to a funeral despite my daughters wishes?,YTA
110aj01,"Thanks for the support. To clear up parts of the story. I should have handled the situation differently(I NEVER said no to her).When Mark went on leave for the first time he was home for 2 weeks before he got shipped out. In those two weeks Alice was conceived. Mark is 100% Alice's bio dad.Disregarding Alice's feelings was the last thing I wanted to do. May, Alice and Jenny are my world. I don't treat my daughters any different.My feelings for May changed when I saw the way she would interact with Alice after they moved in. It filled my heart with more emotion and love that I had not felt ever before that point.The party was just close family which is only us 4 and Mark's/my parents. Since it was a week night. They left so we could work things out.Mark is the only reason I made it past my teen years. I was in a deep and dark spiral. He saved me. So when people say he is dead get over it. I CAN'T. He never gave up on me and I refuse to give him up.I went to Mark's parents and had a nice talk with them. They said Mark would be happy and proud of who I am and how well I have taken care of the people he loved. They don't feel like I am replacing their son in any way but I am a son to them.I called my wife she agreed to talk. I admitted how I felt we should've had this talk before the party and this could've been avoided. At that she did apologize. I then explained more about why I said what I did(personal feelings and emotions) She said that she thought I would be happy and sign. I explained my point of view she understood my concerns and hesitation. We were finishing the conversation when Jenny ran out if her room and asked if we were okay. I said yes and that I love her very much.I then went to talk to Alice alone. I went to her room and my heart broke again. She was still crying on her bed. I knocked and asked if we could talk. She squeaked out a yes. I sat on the edge of her bed while she had her back to me. I told her that I love her and I will always be her dad. I apologized saying that I never meant to hurt her, sometimes adults make mistakes and are not clear with their words or emotions. I made a mistake and hope one day I can make it up to her. I explained Mark was a very important person in my life and I am grateful that he was able to help bring a beautiful and special daughter in to my life. I will always love her and that I have the best daughters in the world.(Not the full conversation)She turned around hugged me really tight. It was one of the best hugs of my life. I told her that it would be my honor to adopt her if she still wants that. Between sobs she said she did. We stayed like that until she fell asleep.After that May and I did a very overdue heart to heart and deep talk. It is not all sunshine and rainbows we still have a lot of healing to do.I have not signed yet(I will). We as a family are looking through all of the legal options and we are on the books for therapy.","AITA Update Not wanting to ""officially"" adopt my daughter?",NAH
1100pu4,"I 26M have been with my girlfriend for a bit over 2 yrs. We live separately but she's been spending most days at my house. I eventually gave her a key to my place. I'll come home from work and most of the time she'll be there. She basically lives there. Has a lot of her belongings there,showers, sleeps there,etc. She has 4 sisters. 2 younger, her twin and her older sister. Her older sister has a 2 yr old daughter and is a single mom. My girlfriend has been asking if her sister could come to my house to hang out. I have no problem with it so I say sure. Here's the problem. I got home Thursday. When I got inside my girlfriend was with her niece. I greet my girlfriend and niece. When I start walking to my bedroom, my girlfriend tells me she set out clothes for me in my gaming room. I ask why ? And she says that her sister is taking a nap in my bedroom. I'm taken back by this and say ummmm no yea she cant do that. My girlfriend asks what I mean. I tell my girlfriend that not only is it rude to sleep in others peoples beds but this is also my house, so I won't be quiet either. My girlfriend explains that her sister is burnt out and needs a break. I told her that's fine and everything but she can't be sleeping in my room, on my bed. That my house isn't a hotel. I could sense my girlfriend getting angry. She's one of those types that is a silent angry. She simply gets up, tells her sister to get up. They gather their stuff and she leaves with her. She calls me back saying that since my house isn't a hotel, she won't be staying there with me anymore. She tells me that her sister seriously needed a break and I couldn't help her. She hangs up before I can say anything. I'm having mixed feelings about this whole thing but feel I could've handled it better. AITA ?",AITA for not allowing my girlfriend's sister to sleep at my house ?,NTA
1102zvq,I wasn't a great person in high school.  My friends and I had our own little click and we weren't nice to some of our classmates.  I tried going to college but it wasn't for me.  I got a job at a car dealership and eventually started selling cars.  I'm pretty good at it so I make a good living.  My younger brother did great in university and he has a pretty good future ahead of him.  After he graduated he started working in the city and there is a club there for graduates from his university.  He ran into a girl that I wasn't very nice to in high school. She is a couple of years older than him but they started dating.  I don't think she realized he was my brother.  He likes that they grew up in the same town.  They are at the meeting the family stage and he brought her home for Christmas.  My parents had sold their home after we all moved out so they didn't live in the same town anymore.  She recognized me right away.  I didn't recognize her.  I guess she got past the ugly duckling part of growing up.  She is very physically attractive.  She is also doing well in life.  She didn't say anything until I approached her after dinner.  She asked if I honestly couldn't remember her.  I didn't.  Until she reminded me of the stuff I used to do to her.  I felt sick to my stomach.  I immediately apologized for everything and said that I had been an asshole kid and that I had grown up since then.  She said that she was glad and that she accepted my apology.  I sent out my wedding invitations recently and my brother RSVP'd with his plus one.  I asked him who he was bringing. He said that he was bringing his girlfriend.  The girl from Christmas.   So I guess she never mentioned me.  I kind of want to ask him not to bring her.  A lot of my old friends will be at the wedding and I don't want any thing to happen.  She forgave me but I still think it is kind of shady that she never brought up our past to my brother.  Would it be an asshole move if I asked him not to bring her to my wedding?,WIBTA for not wanting a woman I used to bully at my wedding.,YTA
110b3gc,"My mom has a daughter Amy (27f) with a man called Brian. He left her while she was pregnant but stayed in Amy's life. When my mom met my dad four years later Brian started causing trouble and turned Amy against my dad, and later against me and my younger sister. Amy was not kind to us over the years. Mom and Brian were in and out of court fighting over what he was doing, mom had Amy in therapy to get her behavior to improve, but nothing helped. My mom's side of the family all struggled with having Amy around. She was always going out of her way to shit on my dad or to be mean to my little sister and I. A few times she called us names in front of our cousins that my aunts and uncles hated them hearing (f\*ckface, c\*nt, re\*ard) and were worried they would mimic, especially the little ones. One time at one cousins birthday party, dad was in charge of taking photos and she she started yelling out that he stank, that he was ugly, weak, pathetic, etc. Mom would always step in and pull her away and honestly it only ever bothered Amy when mom was visibly mad. Sometimes mom would try to compose herself and just be cool and collected with her. But Amy wanted mom to not be mad at her and she wanted them to be close, she just didn't want the rest of us.It was a relief when Amy decided to stay with Brian. I remember a few things about him from the time Amy was still coming around (mom and Brian had 50-50 custody). He was always such an asshole.Mom's family did keep trying to include Amy and be there for her. But last weekend they hosted a family reunion to get together with relatives we hadn't seen in forever or some of us hadn't even met... and Amy wasn't invited. My grandparents said they'd had enough and my aunts and uncles agreed. After the party mom asked them if it was really so much better without Amy around and they said yes. Mom then noticed that I had been much more happy at the party and even showed up early to help out and we talked and I admitted to her that I was glad Amy hadn't been there. I told her it was the first party I could remember where she didn't make it awful. Mom was so upset. Like she actually started to cry and she admitted that she knew it wasn't easy for the rest of us and she was sorry, and she just wanted everyone to get along, or at least for Amy to have grown out of the shit Brian had told her. We hugged it out and everything.But then mom called a few days ago and told me she needs me to keep thoughts like that to myself. She said it hurt her a lot and it was insensitive to say it to her, because Amy is still her daughter, even if she is behaving badly. I told her I understood and maybe we should just not speak about this stuff in the future. Mom got mad and told me to just not say I'm glad her oldest child isn't around. Now I feel really bad. AITA?",AITA for admitting to my mom that I was glad my half sister wasn't at a party?,NTA
1108lt1,"I (23m) was given a German Shepherd (4f) by a friend (21f) about half a year ago. She got the dog as a rescue, and told me she was having trouble with training her. She wasn't adapting to the new house, new owners, or other dogs. Along with this, it was just bad timing. Not having the money to take another dog in. I asked her if she'd consider getting rid of the dog, and she said yes. So, I brought her home.Mari, the dog, has now been living in my house for the whole half year. She's been trained since. She's house trained, listens to commands, is great with kids, and strangers, and can be walked without a leash (I still use one of course). All things I could not have said about her months ago. I had a few friends over today, and the former owner was one of them. After seeing how well trained she was, she told me she was gonna take Mari home next week.Now, I never bought Mari. But, I took her in under the assumption she was my dog. After all, I was told she was my dog. That my friend didn't want her. To suddenly change your mind after I've spent all this time training her, treating her like family, buying her toys and such, genuinely hurt me. I denied, and told my friend she should've put the work in herself If she wanted a trained dog. My friends are on her side. She was the original owner, and she wants her dog back. According to some of my friends, they were told I was offered 200 dollars for Mari, but never was. I love this dog. And considering I'm recently out of a relationship, I'd really rather not lose the closest thing I have to an emotional support animal. She's there when I get home from work, she sleeps at the foot of my bed, She's my best friend. And I refuse to part with her. Am I the asshole?",AITA For not returning a dog a friend gave me,NTA
1108f0y,"My best friend (27f) and I (26f) have been friends for 20 years. Let's call her Lisa. Lisa is an amazing person, and I love her to death, but I feel as though she isn't growing. She is stuck in her partying phase that I got over years ago. I have a full time job, im planning a wedding, and im in the process of buying a house. I dont always have the time to go out. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind going to parties, clubs, and bars every once in awhile, but Lisa wants to go every weekend, and sometimes on weekdays. She gets upset at me if I say no and complains about how I'm boring and never hang out with her anymore. She calls me old, saying that I am a 60 year old stuck in a 20's body. My fiancé's birthday was yesterday. I planned a cabin trip with a group of friends and invited her. Since last night was his actual birthday, we had quite a bit to drink. It was a really great time. However, today, we all woke up hungover. We decided tonight, we would just have a more laid back night and just play some board games. She suggested we drive into town and go bar hopping. A few people said they would go with her, but my fiancé and I told her that we would probably just hang back because we were still recovering from the night before. She called me boring. That really ticked me off but I let it go. However, just a little while ago, she and a few friends were pregaming to go out and asked if I wanted to take a shot with them. I told her no because I still wasn't feeling well and didn't want to drink tonight. She kept pushing it so I told her to stop and just respect that I am telling her no. She then went on about how ever since I got engaged I started acting like I was so much better than her and how I'm no fun anymore. I finally had enough and told her that she needs to grow up. We are not 21 anymore. I do not have the time or the energy to go out all the time to get drunk. I am working towards my future and my goals, and she needs to start getting her act together too. Things got really quiet and then she ran to her room in tears. She stayed in there for a bit, then she came out with her suitcase and said that she was going home because she didn't want to spend any more time with people who were just going to look down on her.  After she left, a few friends told me that I had crossed the line and that I could have just said no to her instead of attacking her like that. My fiancé is on my side but my other friends said that I should apologize to her. She might not have wanted to hear it, but I think what I said was something she needed to hear. AITA?",AITA for telling my best friend that she needs to grow up and do something with her life?,ESH
10zumny,"Throwaway AccountI (35m) used to be married to my high school sweetheart ""Kelly"" (35f). We got married after undergrad and overall I would say that we were really happy. The biggest conflict that I would say we had was the topic of children. Not the idea of actually having them but when. I've always wanted to be a dad and wanted to have my kids while I was still young enough to run around with them while they were kids and have a good adult relationship with them once they got older.Kelly brought up a lot of good points about needing to get married, living fully on our own, and being out of debt first. For about five years I worked a job I had no passion for solely because of the large paycheck and I was able to nearly wipe out our debt completely (we didn't have a lot to begin with in the first place). Then Kelly said she wanted a house, so we got one, then a few months in she talked about wanting to go to grad school.Even though we often fought about children, in the end I always supported her choices because I didn't want her to resent me. I would often ask her if Kelly had ever changed her mind about wanting kids but she assured me that she still did, just not now. I asked when would she be and it always felt like she kept moving the goal post whenever she'd list her requirements, and that I was painted as a jerk for ""pressuring"" her for kids. Unfortunately, after weeks of not feeling well, Kelly was diagnosed with an illness. It was rough but I stood by her and she pulled through but the cost was her fertility.I felt like a jerk again because of part of me resented Kelly for not agreeing to have kids sooner and that resentment grew when Kelly refused to look into using a surrogate, insisting that either we were both the bio parents or neither of us were. In the end I couldn't take it and just divorced her.A lot of people called me selfish, sexist, misogynistic, etc. but I just wasn't sure if this was something that I would be able to truly let go of. I let Kelly keep the house and moved out of town. Eventually I met and fell in love with Angela (32f) and after shortly moving into together she got pregnant so we got married. She's entering her third trimester with our baby girl and I'm so excited.A friend back in college moved back to the states and wanted to have a small party to see everyone. He invited Kelly and me, so I checked in with him privately and asked if it would be okay to bring my wife and he said that it was cool so I did. This was the first time I saw Kelly in person for years and she looked well enough. I was polite but kept my distance and thought everything was good until the next day when I got a barrage of texts and DMs blasting me for having the audacity to parade my heavily pregnant new (younger) wife in front of my infertile ex-wife. I had no malicious intentions and it has been a few years plus I asked beforehand just to double check so AITA?ETA: Talked about this with someone in the commentsKelly said it would be too upsetting at the idea of me having a child with another woman regardless of how the child was conceived. It was either adopt or nothing at all. I honestly felt like there was no way we could progress in the relationship without one of us resenting the other so I filed.If she truly didn't want kids she put on a great performance. Before her illness she would constantly gush over other people's babies, insisted buying a house in a good school district for our future kids, and even talked in extensive detail about wanting to be a stay-at-home for up to 6 years. I think Kelly just assumed we'd always have time and then life threw a curve ball.If Kelly had stated that she would've been open to having children sooner under the condition that I be the primary caretaker I would've done it. I would've even taken a lesser paying job so I could have the free time to do it. I NEVER wanted to put in a position where she felt like she would have to give up her career entirely.  ETA 2: Stepped away for a little bit but I just wanted to be clear about something. I did NOT leave Kelly while she was still sick. It was a year after she was healthy again and we had been in therapy for months.",AITA For Showing Up To A Party With My Pregnant Wife That My Ex Was At?,NTA
1106rtu,"My youngest daughter Vivian tells me that she hates school. Vivian doesn’t have any issues with bullies and enjoys socializing with people. But she hates waking up at 7:15, she hates listening to lectures in class, and she hates studying and homework, even for a subject that she’s interested in. And there’s frankly **NOTHING** wrong with that. She doesn’t need to be a perfect student who loves school and homework. The point I am trying to emphasize is that Vivian does not like school. So I was surprised when she came to me explaining that she wanted to apply to a private college.Vivian told me that she wants to attend this particular college because her friend will be going there on a scholarship. The college is also located near a major city, where some of Vivian’s other friends will be attending a different college but will still be in the area. I looked into the costs of this private college, the tuition is fairly affordable, but the “catch” is that students are required to live on campus for all four years and the dorm costs are through the roof.I explained to Vivian that I will pay off all of her student debt if she goes to a community college first and then earns the grades to transfer to the private college (or any number of other colleges, if she is no longer interested in the private college.) But that I am not going to spend thousands of dollars when she’s shown me thus far that she isn’t emotionally committed to her studies and won’t treat her education seriously.Vivian and multiple others have told me that I am being unfair with the community college offer, because even though the cost of the private college is steep, I am still able to afford it. And I offered to and paid for her siblings to go straight to four-year colleges. I will pay for whatever college Vivian wants to attend if she agrees to attend community college and earn the grades to transfer. (Her sister chose to take this route. And she said it was very beneficial in helping her transition from high school to a major college.)But Vivian tells me that she hates school, studying, and lectures, even if she’s interested in the subject. College **is** school and includes all the things she hates about school. Vivian still has the option to prove she is emotionally ready for college by attending community college and earning the grades to transfer out. But I am not going to spend thousands of dollars unless Vivian demonstrates that she is emotionally committed to her studies and will take her education seriously. AITA For this?","AITA For refusing to pay for my youngest daughter to attend college unless she goes to community college first and earns the grades to transfer, when I offered and paid for her siblings to go straight to four-year colleges?",NTA
10ztcwp,"Throwawy because my gf has reddit.My GF Lauren has a great relationship with her boss Chelsea, actuallyreally friendly outside of work. They go to dinner or lunch together and discuss both work stuff and real talk.Even though Lauren always looks very clean and put together, she also isn't a very professional dresser in my opinion, not the way an office lady usually looks. She rarely wears make up, keeps her hair in a short cut and does nothing to style it, and wears only pants to work, never a dress or skirt, and only button downs and blazers. I love her and I love that the work environment she's in let's her feel comfortable enough to dress like this. She likes make up, she just likes either to be barefaced or go for dramatic looks that aren't appropriate for the office. Rarely she'll put on some lipstick and basic contouring.Those two facts together made me think that when she invited me to join her at a work dinner on Tues that it wasn't a formal occasion. I asked Lauren was she was wearing, she said nice slacks, a button down and a blazer, telling me that I would be fine to do the same, plus on FaceTime she had metallic eyeshadow and white eyeliner on, so I dressed in dark blue jeans and a plaid flannel button down.When I showed up, I quickly realized not only was there more than just Lauren and Chelsea but I was the only person wearing jeans, not that it was easy to see that especially once we all sat down. One of Lauren's coworkers was wearing a polo and khakis though, which I felt was equal to my outfit. No one looked twice at my clothes and we all had a good time. It was a nonissue.Lauren and I had planned on her following me home so she could stay the night with me, but when we got to our cars she said she didn't want to anymore because she was mad I didn't dress appropriately to dinner. I said I dressed just as appropriately as she did because there was nothing business appropriate about wearing white eyeliner. She just laughed in my face at that and told me to fuck off. I tried texting and calling her, but she just told me to leave her alone and refused to discuss the fight instead of just shutting me down.Edit: No not all women need to wear skirts to be professional, but you match the formality of your boss in the work and Lauren is the only woman in the office that never wears a dress or skirt, contrast where Chelsea always does. No she doesn't need long hair to be professional but there needs to be some styling to it, something to give body or make it look less like she just ran a brush through it and called it a day. It wasn't a lumberjack style flannel, it was black and white and pressed nicely. I could have dressed it up with a jacket and in hind sight I would have. I don't get how it's bad to call a flamboyant face of makeup not professional, but I didn't mean it as an insult and I don't get why ""basic contouring"" was such a bad thing to say?Edit: resounding yes. I didn't understand a lot of what I was expecting or how it appeared or what the implications were. I made connections between things that really aren't equal at all. ","AITA for dressing ""casually"" to a work dinner?",YTA
1101y3f,"I’ll try to keep this short as i can. I’m a RN and I work 12 hour shifts mostly. If you’re in the medical field you know how tiring it is when you just want to come home, take a shower and sleep because you probably have to do it all over again tomorrow. Well when i come home I can’t sleep because I have 2 kids i have to take care of. Most days when I get home from work I cook for everybody and get ready for bed. Recently my husbands been seeing me cooking and getting take out? The first time he did it, i didn’t mind but now it’s starting to get to me because you obviously see me in here cooking for y’all after a long ass 12 hour shift and you basically say fuck me and go out to get something to eat? it just pisses me off. I didn’t work today but he did so i thought why not make a nice dinner for him and the kids. I made steak and potatoes with cheese broccoli. If somebody made that for me after work i’ll be fucking ecstatic but he just came home said hey to us and went to get food when he sees that i’m cooking? It’s starting to work my last damn nerve so i talked to him about it and he said he didn’t see the big deal. Now i just feel like i should just stop cooking for him period.",WIBTA for not cooking my husband dinner anymore,NTA
10zw3k6,"I started a new job and was paired with a deaf personWe had hard time communicating, even through texting on the phone I brought this up with the boss and she said that it's difficult for deaf people to learn to read bla bla bla (which is true, the median reading grade for deaf high school graduates is fourth grade) Then she suggested that I learn sign languageProblem is they are not signing up or paying for my sign language classes nor are they paying me an hourly wage while learning sign languageAITA for flat out refusing to do that ?",AITA for refusing to learn sign language,NTA
10zy8wm,"I (M25) have a friend (F25) whom I often cook with.  Nothing romantic, or even sexual between us.  We just like to get together every once in a while.   One think we do is a food prep once a month.  And every single time I use chicken  or a roast she insists on washing the meat.  I have tried on multiple occasions to explain to her that meat doesn't need to be washed before you cook it.   She refuses to listen and she refuses to eat the food we make unless I wash the meat.   We got together this morning for our food prep day.   She brought a big package of ground chicken.  I had chicken thighs and pork chops.  As usual she insisted that I wash the meat.  I asked her if she wanted to use the sink to wash her ground chicken before we used it.  She said I was being ridiculous because ground meat doesn't need to be washed because the meat gets washed before they grind it.  I said she was being silly because that make no sense.  I pulled up a YouTube video of ground chicken being made.  Nope. The meat never god washed.  She said that it was just one video.   So I asked her to find one where they washed the meat.  She couldn't.  She said that her mom always washed meat before she cooked it.   I asked if her mom washed ground meat too.  She said I was being an asshole making fun of her and her mom.  We made our food in silence and she left but she is still mad at me.",AITA for making fun of my friend for not washing ground chicken.,NTA
1106coh,"My son is 10 and growing a bit. The clothes that were bought for him in September are already getting a bit tight. So me and him went to Old Navy and GAP to buy him new stuff. When he went to his mom's (we are exes and share 50/50), she asked for his old clothes so she could resale them online.I asked her that to give me half the money that she got. She refused on the basis that she has childcare expenses that I don't. For example, our son is on her employer's health insurance plan. She has $160 a month docked for it.Buttttttttt I pay his co-pays and that adds up very quickly. It goes both ways.We couldn't agree on anything, including who bought what clothes because she wants to resale the clothes that I bought. After much thought, I decided to keep his old clothes. And no, I'm not donating them because they are like new and I know people will buy it and then resale it.This ensures that the parent who buys him new clothes will be able to do what they want with the old ones. Obviously neither me nor my ex are going to send him to each other's house with no clothes.",AITA for keeping my son's clothes?,YTA
1103s3c,"My parents, brother and I constantly go on trips out of town, usually to the bigger cities outside of my small town. These are planned, all day things, including going to multiple stores, malls, restaurants, etc. I make sure to put in some extra hours at my job or do some freelance work to have a little extra bit of money to spend, and to buy my brother things.The problem is, everytime I go on these trips, I don't get to do anything. For the last 3 trips in a row, I was able to buy 1 thing. The only reason I got it was because I snuck it out of the store before they came back (it was a pair of headphones I needed for college classes.).Anytime I want anything I get shamed for being ""materialistic"" and usually get whatever I wanted to buy physically taken from me and my card taken for the rest of the trip. I'm not allowed to order what I want at the restaurant and am forced to order under $20 because I'm not paying for it.On monday, my parents told me they wanted me to join them on a trip, but I said no and I won't go on this or any future trips. I calmly explained my reasoning and they sort of laughed me off. But this morning, when they woke me up, I refused to get out of bed and go. They got mad and took away my car keys and grounded me for the rest of the month. I don't know why I'm in trouble, but I just wanted to know AITA?Edit: I'm 17, I turn 18 on the 10th of March. I only payed half for the car which is why they can take it from me (their words) I take dual classes with my highschool so when I graduate I will have a technical certificate and a year after I will have a associates degree.",AITA for not wanting to go on trips anymore because I never get to do anything?,NTA
1105iur," Wife (30F) and I (33M) had plans to go out to eat so before we went to a nearby brewery for a drink.  .  It served food but we didn't plan on eating there, just drinks.  This was a place we had never been to.  In my area dogs are allowed outside with a dog friendly patio permit, but not indoors where they serve food.  My wife and I are not dog people at all, we avoid them and don't want to be around them.  We went to the bar, grabbed a drink and took a seat at a table indoors.  Within 2 minutes this unleashed probably 50-60 pound dog made a bee line straight to us.  I put my leg out to block it but it was persistent.  It kept licking my leg and my wifes leg.  It just wouldn't leave it alone.  I yelled out asking who's dog is this.  No one answered, no one came to get the dog, nothing.  Fed up I grabbed the dog by its collar, took it to the farthest part of the outdoor patio  and left it there.  Where it promptly went straight up to another group.  As soon as I let go of the collar a guy yells out WTF are you doing with my dog"".  I let him know it was bothering us and kept licking us so I took it outside away from us.  The guy seems dumbfounded that I had an issue with it licking us and had more choice words.  I just responded with leave your effing dog at home if you aren't going to be responsible.  I went inside and slammed my beer and the wife and I left.  I flipped the guy off as I left.",AITA for leaving a dog outside and unattended at a restaurant,NTA
110aqt1,"TA account:I (23f) am a SAHP to a 18m girl. Since I have more flexible time (I make passive income) I babysit my niece “Kay” (8f) a lot for my sister “Pat” (35f). She has 4 kids but only Kay lives w her. She’s a single mom so when Kay needs to be picked up from school, or when Pat gets off late etc. I get her. I didn’t mind at first cuz I love my niece, but she’s very destructive. I keep age appropriate toys around for her, and give her control of the tv when she’s over since my daughter just likes the colors and sounds and doesn’t really care what’s on. But almost every time Kay is over she breaks something of my daughters. A toy, furniture, something that literally shouldn’t be easily broken at all… you name it. And it happens so fast. I could go pee and come back something’s broken. At first I ignored it, but after a while I started complaining to Pat she either needs to replace what gets broken or start paying me to babysit since most times it’s last minute (like 10-20 minutes before Kay needs to be picked up which has been getting on my nerves as well since I have to rush to get me and my baby dressed) and it’s getting frustrating. Pair that w Kay constantly lying and stealing (toys, money, snacks) I couldn’t take it anymore. To be clear she can have snacks but I personally control how much sugar she has. If she wants an apple sure, if she’s on her 2nd candy bar we gotta talk. But Kay would go into my bedroom and open something I have and try to hide or lie about it. Pat always laughs it off and says Kay is just a kid and whatever excuse. I think it’s messed up. Kay never messes up or loses the toys she brings over. And at her house she’s always very careful and polite. I gentle parent so idk if Kay thinks she can get away w whatever cuz she knows I won’t yell or spank but it’s been frustrating me so much. I’ve tried talking to her or asking how she would feel if someone messed up her stuff but she puts on puppy eyes says sorry and is right back at it shortly after. I’m not struggling, but I’m not rich either and I do what I can to give my daughter what she has. After the last time (Kay broke a toy shelf my friend made for my baby) I told Pat she was no longer welcome in my house until she can behave better. Now my family is calling me out saying I turned my back on my family but I’m just tired of it. 8 is more than old enough to know better. I’m setting boundaries and holding firm. AITA?",AITA for not wanting my niece at my house anymore?,NTA
110drvo,"I (29M) am a super social guy at work. We used to have a really cold, unwelcoming office and my team (4 of us altogether) we're brought on to improve morale so I'm not saying that to brag, it's literally part of my job description - organising events, fielding complaints and relationship dynamics, just generally making sure everyone is comfortable and happy.I'd like to say I'm pretty darn well liked and haven't seen any evidence to the contrary yet and this has spilled over into my life in general and I'm one of those ""always smiling"" types overall.Reason I said this is because my colleagues have recently asked if I have a problem with our newest starter (31F). She works in sales and is a little quiet (most likely because she's new) but ostensibly nice from what I hear. I've not got anything against her personally per se but she's allegedly mentioned to my team, but not me, that she doesn't get invited to outside of work events (non official functions, parties, dinners etc. She's looped into all official events ofc) or invited out to lunch at all and spends a lot of time alone in and around the office.I admit to giving her a wide berth but that is just because during her first week before we'd been introduced, I was getting onto the elevator and noticed someone had dropped a key card in the lobby, I recognised her face and approached her at her desk when I got to our floor, she looked apprehensive about me approaching so I slapped on a smile and went to speak. I just got out an ""excuse me but I think--"" before she interrupted with what sounded like a pre prepared speech about how she wants to keep work and personal life separate and didn't wish to engage unless it was work related. I didn't say anything and just placed her card on her desk and left it at that.She approached me at lunch that day to apologise and said she thought I was asking her out, but did so in front of a crowd of people to whom I then had to explain myself. Overall she made me uncomfortable and feel guilty for being friendly, so I tend to follow her rules and only send her emails in group threads.But seeing as I'm something of a social hub in/outside of work, this had apparently had a knock on effect of others kind of distancing themselves too.So, AITA for following her ROE?P.S. I have a partner of 4y who works with us in a different department.","AITA for being ""cold"" to a newish coworker?",NTA
1106suw,"I (30ishF) have had a rocky relationship with my mom for pretty much as long as I can remember. I grew up being constantly criticized.My parents raised me in a church that became cult-like over time (women expected to be subservient; anyone who left was shunned; etc.). When I was 17, my parents left. I was in an arranged relationship with a man several years older than me there at the time (due to the structure of our religion, my parents were very involved and had to sign off on the relationship), and so I stayed. It ended up being an abusive relationship and a traumatic experience.I eventually got out, got healthy, developed my own life. I’ve gone to counseling and set boundaries with my parents over various things like “you will not speak cruelly to me” and “you will not physically threaten me.”Recently I saw my mom. She has often complained that I never share anything about my life with her. Our conversation was going well, so I decided to broach that this past year I’d had the opportunity to meet with people from that old church, including the ex, and they’ve owned this behavior and sought to make things right. It’s been very healing.My mom barely let me get a word out before she accused me of gossiping. After a few minutes of derision from her, I stood up to leave, and she said, “[OP] always walks away!” Then she said, “And you’ve never once asked me about what I’ve gone through!”This is where I lost my head and might be TA. “I wish you would just be the f***ing parent and not expect me to do it for you,” I said, and then I left.I don’t know what to do when things blow up with her like this. I usually end up saying something I regret. So AITA?",AITA for telling my mom to be the f****ing parent?,NTA
110bxtb,"Alright so I've always assumed I've had a good relationship with my *adopted* parents and siblings and haven't really had any problems with them until this. So I(F20) was told about my sister's birthday that was happening and my adopted parents asked if I was going to be attending. I told them that since it was after work I could just swing by after my shift. I asked if there was anything that I needed to bring or if there was a specific dress code for the party as I probably wouldn't have time to change out of my work clothes. They told me there was no dress code but asked if I would be willing to get the food for the event especially since I work at Zaxby's and they offer party packs and everything so I'd be able to do that and get a discount. I told them sure there wouldn't be a problem with that, but if I could get some assistance with payment as it still would be around $600. They agreed that they'd pay me back part of the cost. So come to the night of the party I show up and bring the food into the party and basically for the rest of the night I get treated as a caterer instead of a party guest, even by my parents and my sister which frankly made me slightly irritated as I didn't really get to enjoy the party at all. So after the party I pulled my sister off to the side and I handed her a bill. She looked confused as it was the full bill for everything that I had gotten. I told her that since I didn't get to enjoy the party and was delegated to working it then I'm not going to work for free, even for family after I had expected to be a guest, I didn't even get to have any of the food. This got us into a pretty heated argument where my sister was saying that I was ruining her birthday and that it was an asshole move to charge for the entire bill after I had agreed to bring food for the party. I said that it was an asshole move to treat me as if I was working the party and that the bill stands. The argument continued on for a little bit before I left after telling her that I better get payment. But now I'm wondering if it was a little harsh and if I am being an AH.Edit: since it seems to be a common question of why I went to my sister let me explain my parents had left earlier than when the party ended and I didn't realize it at the time. I felt comfortable giving my sister the bill because she also treated me as a caterer and not a guest. I don't think that it can excuse if I'm an AH or not but since people keep asking I'll give an answer.",AITA for insisting my family pay me?,NTA
10zygjb,"I've been in online classes for over 2 years but have finally reached the end of the semester and had my final presentation last week. Every class I've asked multiple times for people (my husband, kids, parents or visitors) to stay out of my room while I'm in class because due to the professional and graduate level of courses, the professors ask that we maintain a certain decorum for classes. No one seems to have an issue with that besides my husband. If he forgot something in the room he'll just waltz right in even if my camera is on or I'm off mute to speak, etc. It got to the point that I started locking the bedroom door and my mother has even posted signs on my door for me (""presentation in progress, please do not disturb""). To top this all off, it is well documented and he knows that I suffer from major anxiety that's also triggered by a tachycardia disorder I have (I'm on heart meds and everything), so someone just coming in the room has the potential to completely derail me. So last week I'm making the final and most important presentation of my graduate career, I have the door locked, I gave everyone 2 hours notice before class to come in and get anything needed, etc and my husband came down, unlocked the door from the outside and strolled right in to get everything he needed (opening doors, closing cabinets, etc making noise), etc. I did the best I could with it in the moment and finished out the class. After class, I was burning with the rage of 1000 suns. My husband could tell I was upset and asked what I was mad about. I was seeing red so I went out of my way to control myself and speak in the calmest and most respectful way I could, literally in therapy type phrases saying things like ""the way you disregarded my requests made me feel completely disregarded and disrespected"". I was absolutely shocked at my ability to speak calmly because I knew if I didn't, I would say something so vile instead that I might not be able to recover from. Instead of apologizing to me or talking it out, he said that my requests and expectations are completely unrealistic and I make a big deal out of everything. He even spun it around on me and said ""well, what you're saying is you didn't want me to take the kids to the park since I needed stuff in there"". That statement doesn't even compute to me. How does not being allowed in a room equate to me saying not to take care of the kids? Nothing he needed for the kids was in there whatsoever. He instantly spun it to become the victim. When I tried reasoning that literally half this country is doing work, school, etc from home and their families respect their work space he simply walked away from me and refused to speak the rest of the day.TL/DR: I locked my bedroom door for class and then told husband I felt disrespected because he ignored my request to stay out of the room while doing zoom class for grad school and unlocked the door and came in anyway.",AITA for locking the door and asking people to stay out of the room while I'm in zoom meetings?,NTA
110ai6f,"Me (17m) and my aunt (40f) have never had a good relationship. She didn’t want my mom to have me, after a lot of issues she did have me, long story short. She’s never liked me. She didn’t want me vaccinated, and my mom did anyways- because she’s my AUNT and not my mother- and it just added insult to injury. I got diagnosed with autism when I was 10, and ever since then she’s blamed my mom not getting me vaccinated and saying god hadn’t wanted me born anyway. She’s psycho. She used to tell me about how my mom tried to abort me. Anyway she came over for my moms birthday yesterday. And my mom wanted me to spend it with her, but my aunt kind of followed us the whole time. She made me very uncomfortable. When I’m uncomfortable I do something that really annoys her. I can’t help it. I hum the Indiana Jones theme over and over, you know the part. And I’ll flick my wrists/fingers. We stopped at a raising canines because my mom wanted some for dinner, and my aunt wouldn’t stop staring at me. She made fun of how I ate. So I started humming and I kept my hands under the table. I was quiet. I know I was. I was bouncing my leg and it kind of made the table shake. My aunt got super angry for no reason. She said i was being embarrassing, and that this is why she could never get along with me. My mom asked her what she meant, and my aunt said ‘uh… idk, like THAT,’ and my mom said ‘what, because he’s acting uncomfortable?’ My aunt got embarrassed and started saying how I only started acting like this after getting vaccinated? And I was putting on a show to get drugs???? I still don’t know what she meant. My mom again asked what she meant, and my aunt said that autism isn’t real and the government something-something. My mom said she needed to find a ride home because she was being an ahole, and my aunt said i was the ahole, and I was only acting ‘so r-worded’ because she was around. She said my mom should have tried again after the first abortion failed and everyone was staring it seemed it was so freaking embarrassing. My mom told me to come on and go to the car, and my aunt started saying that she needed a ride home, and her boyfriend was at work and couldn’t pick her up. My mom told her tough luck, and we left, but idk. I feel like a jerk. Idk why. I feel like maybe I should have just pretended to be normal while she was around. Like I know i can make people uncomfortable but I didn’t think I was being that weird. It’s freaking Indiana jones, who cares???I guess I just need some help righting this in my head. If I’m wrong I’ll apologise but idk. It’s Indiana jones.",AITA for acting… so…. autistic??,NTA
110azbl,"I (21F) have been babysitting my nieces for absolutely ages, since the youngest was 2 and they’re 7 and 9 now.I’ve always babysat for free, although I’ve been told several times “it’s not babysitting it’s looking after your nieces”During secondary school I was pretty depressed, I didn’t do well in my GCSES and figured I’d end up working a dead end job I wouldn’t be happy in and overall had no actual motivation, which meant it was no problem when she’d ask me to babysit last minute/overnight/sometimes 3-5 days, and then I took a childcare course, currently I only have a L2 in childcare.I’d love to go university, even if I’m getting a little old, so I’m doing my level 3 through apprenticeship…I recently got a job, I’m really happy tbh. But then my mother, who works with my sister said one of their clients (they work in care for elderly) said my sister said she’d just ask me to ask my nursery to look after the girls during the school break (my nursery remains open) and I ignored it but then she said yesterday “if **OP** is getting a job then who’ll look after the kids?” I just feel between not being appreciated, and this client having to have heard **something** about this that obviously it’s seen as something I’m obligated to do? It could be innocent, but I’ve had to cancel doctor appointments/miss college to babysit.Sister insists that all she said was I was working now, but why even mention me? I was meant to babysit this weekend, WIBTA for cancelling? Part of me feels a little bad.Half of that information probably isn’t relevant, sorry.",WIBTA for refusing to babysit over a rumour?,NTA
110b2sk,"My SIL refused to attend our wedding because her religion means she does not “believe” in homosexuality. My wife and I have since had our beautiful son, with minimal involvement from my wife’s side of the family. My wife’s parents refuse to acknowledge him as their own.My SIL is getting married soon. She wants my son to be the ring bearer “because it would be so cute”. She didn’t show up to our wedding or acknowledge it, instead using those months before/after to tell us we were going to hell for our “lifestyle choices”My wife is expecting I show up to the wedding and that I let my son be a part of the wedding party because she wants me to keep the peace. I want to tell my SIL to fuck off. If she wants my son to be a part of the wedding party, I expect an apology for hurting my wife by not showing up to our wedding and to acknowledge our relationship and our family as being legitimate.My wife wants to maintain her relationship with her family and is willing to tolerate discrimination. I am not. I’m being told I’m an asshole for expecting people to go against their religious beliefs, but I think they are hurting my wife and using our child and disrespecting me.Am I the asshole for refusing to let this happen and refusing to go to the wedding because they would not show to ours?Edited for spelling errors",AITA for refusing to participate in my SILs wedding,NTA
110cngr,"I have been married to Mira for 3 years and we just had our son together a few weeks ago. Around this time my ILs, but even Mira to a point, have become very interested in me reconciling with my mom and having my sister and I be closer (we still talk, just not a lot).BG: When I was 16 I caught my mom cheating on my dad. She and the guy were in our house, in my dad's office, and nobody else was meant to be home (school finished early). Mom tried getting me to hide it from dad. She attempted to be overly loving and told me it would destroy the family. She also attempted to do the firm parent thing of this is not your business. Dad realized something was wrong that night and we talked. The next day he took a day off work and when my sister and I went to school they had it out and dad kicked mom out of the house. The whole thing rocked my sister. She wanted to know what happened and why we couldn't be a family anymore. Mom moved in with the affair partner. My sister couldn't figure out why I hated mom. Mom insisted we come see her new house and I refused to talk until all the anger boiled over and I told her that I hated her, that I never wanted to see her cheating face again. She told me she was my mom and that I couldn't stay mad at her. I told her she was dead to me. That cheating was one thing, but to try and force me to stay silent, to try and make me keep her nasty secrets. I told her she was nasty, disgusting, that I didn't want to look at her. I was so mad. Mom did sort of admit to multiple affairs when she tried to use the ""I was always a good mom line"" and admitted to being distracted by others at times instead of being a mom to us.My sister and I ended up with a strained relationship because I refused to have a relationship with mom for her and she refused to accept that what mom did had involved me, the second she told me to lie for her and even when she wasn't a good mom to us being distracted by other guys.I haven't seen my mom in 12 years. My sister and I see and talk to each other, but it's like distant cousins who see each other once every few years and not siblings.Neither were at my wedding. I didn't invite mom. My sister wouldn't come because I told her she couldn't bring mom.It bothers my ILs and they wanted me to reconcile so my son could have a healthy and whole family. They tried to claim that 12 years was long enough to leave the past where it is. Mina, my wife, added that she'd like our son to be around his grandmother and to not grow up seeing his dad hate her. Or at the very least for my sister and I to be as close as we once were. I told her we'd talk about it later and I told her family that it was not something that and I needed to talk about. They told me they disagreed and I said they had no right interfering in my life. They took offence to this. They said they were thinking of their daughter and grandson and I was rude.AITA for saying what I said to them?",AITA for telling my ILs that they have no right to interfere in my life?,NTA
10zzg2x,"So my husband and I started working on getting debt free a few months ago. The debt is not extreme and we expect to fully pay it by the end of this year. We keep a pretty much comfortable lifestyle but we have to manage our finances more wisely.Yesterday, my husband tripped over a power cord and knocked a glass of water over his gaming laptop. It is dead now and the cost of repair will be ridiculous. Husband wants to buy a new laptop right now. I reminded we are currently limiting all luxury expenses and I believe a new laptop just for games counts as one. He doesn't have any other computer related hobbies, just games. He has a separate work laptop provided by his company. He could browse most of the internet from his phone and even if he wants to do something desktop specific he could use my small laptop I use like once a week. It won't be able to handle any games though.So I listed all of the above to him but he's saying I want to make him miserable for a year for no reason. He also said that I'm being salty because most of *my* shopping expenses are cut now (jewelry, handbags, etc). I said, isn't that, like, the entire point of saving money? I don't buy extra shit, you don't buy it either. But he insists he *can't* live without laptop and I *can* live without a new handbag. Like having a laptop is as important to him as having a phone. Yeah I would consider buying a new phone an emergency in case the old one is lost or broken, but NOT a new hot flagship phone for all the money in the world. Just a decent one.This whole thing feels unfair to me but he says I'm the one being selfish and spiteful.And just to be clear I don't control his finances so technically he could go and buy the laptop. It would not throw us into poverty and I would not like file for divorce over it. But I would be very veeeerryyy mad. AITA?EDIT: Thank y'all for your perspective. I guess the cost of that unexpected expense sent me into a panic mode and blinded me a bit. Hubs is asleep, I'll talk to him in the morning. I think we could buy a new laptop with 2 conditions:1. Better cable management2. No drinks around the new laptop (and preferably no food either).This is gonna delay the debt repayment for approximately 6 months but it's doable.",AITA for telling my husband we can't buy a new laptop until we are debt free?,NTA
11024c8,"I’m in College Chemistry I this semester, and it’s a lot harder for me than I expected. I also have ADHD that I manage pretty well, such as sitting up front to help me pay attention, avoiding distractions, etc. There are a couple of girls who like to whisper during lecture, but I’ve learned to tune them out. Yesterday, they began they’re whispering again. Eventually, the whisper turned into a low talking voice, along with another two girls whispering not far beside me. I couldn’t pay attention, especially because I couldn’t hear the professor at this point. I looked over a few times and one made eye contact, but never stopped. I didn’t know how to confront them or if I even should, so I grabbed my stuff, got up and moved to the other side of the room. The professor asked them to stop and carried on. I was able to pay attention to the rest of the lecture, but I calmed down and felt so embarrassed and felt really terrible. I apologized to the professor afterward for the disruption, and he told me he was glad I alerted him to the situation and that I can return to my seat if I want, but I requested to remain where I moved which he said was fine. I still feel like an ass, and I wonder if he thinks I’m an ass for doing that.",AITA for getting up and moving in the middle of class?,NTA
110bqvg,"i was living with my brother. his girlfriend moved in a couple of years ago. together they have just bought a house and i'm staying with them for the time being.now, at the apartment her mom would stop by once a week for an hour or so. no big deal. since we've moved into the house her mom has been here every day for long periods. even so far as to leave and come back on some days.i don't dislike the woman. we chit chat and so on. but i don't want another person just showing up every day. i brought it up to the girlfriend today. she seemed kinda pissed but said it was a new house kinda thing but i've got a bad feeling that if i don't wrangle this now it's gonna get out of hand.am i a dick?​edit: i'm not staying rent free. we're all paying 1/3rd. it's exactly the same arrangement as we had before except instead of her living in mine and my brother's apartment i'm living in their house. ",AITA if i don't want my brother's girlfriend's mom over all the time?,YTA
1102odc,"So my daughter dropped a phone into the toilet and my wife immediately took the phone out of the case and put it in rice.In the past I told her the rice hack is a myth, but she believes and now I don't bring it up anymore. However when I saw she put the phone into our pantry rice I asked why she needed so much for a phone. We have to throw it all out now.She said it's okay, when we cook it, the germs will be dead. When I explained all the ways that doesn't work, she got mad and said I can buy my own rice, because I was insulting her native culture. Oh...She didn't talk to me for 45 minutes then we argued again and she threw all the toilet rice out.  I thanked her, hugged and took out the trash.When I come back she's filling the old contaminated container with new rice.  Rather than argue, I'm going to throw out the new rice and clean the container myself and refill, if we have any left in the bag.",AITA for not wanting to eat toilet rice?,NTA
110dyp8,"My mum started making her own bread at the start of lockdown. Its not good; crust is chewy, bread is dense, tastes dense somehow, falls apart both when trying to slice, and when consuming. She started doing it because its ""healthier and cheaper"". My mum stopped buying bread, and I have had to effectively cut bread out of my diet. I had to start bringing wraps to school, because her bread eventually made me feel sick.But my mum still believes that its amazing becuase her friends say that its nice, when they had it, once every few months, but they don't have to eat it every day.A year ago I started eating muesli for breakfast, instead of cereal. Not for any specific reason, I just liked it. (Although its healthier and cheaper than cereal.)My mum decided that it was too unhealthy and expensive, and made her own, following a recipe. It tastes like horse food, because she left out the sugar that the recipe told her to add. I recently told my mum that I hated her bread,in response to ""why don't you have some toast.""She was offended, and rightly so, and said ""After all my effort."" She has a bread machine. It does 90% of the work. She has managed to cut something a simple as bread out of my diet, and ruined my breakfasts.AITA for offending her baking.",AITA for telling my mum to stop making stuff.,NTA
10zxqa2," I’ve been a long time follower of this sub, but this is my first post. Some background: I (38m) am from a European country. We have three levels of High school and college. They essentially come down to: Junior college, Community college and University. If you do well in community college and pass all your courses in your first year you can be admitted to University. Which is what happened to me. I started in the second level of high school, worked my ass off during community college and then got into university. Now college is very cheap in my country, so I did two bachelors. Did both of them with honors and averaged at about an 8.0. Did two internships, a masters and got myself a great job. I now make about 150k a year, my wife (34f) makes about 100k. A few years ago we also inherited a large chunk of money (millions) after her mother passed. My sister (36f) did Junior College, then got into community college but dropped out because she wanted to commit to her part-time job. She makes about 35k now, her husband (38m) about 30k. Now this is a great middle class income in my country. However, my sisters does not and has never thought in middle class terms. When she was 21 she sacrificed half her savings (about 10k) to buy a Chanel bag. They also had to postpone buying a house as my sister needed to go to New York, Miami and Los Angeles during her summer holiday a decade ago. Which cost them most of their savings. Now here’s the issue, my wife and I live about an hour away from my hometown. Our eldest child is about to turn four and will have to start school. The schools in our region are “mweh”, the one in my hometown is pretty great. My mom is a teacher there too, so my child could see his grandmother a lot more too. Which both my wife and I think is important. We’ve been looking for houses for a while, but until now haven’t been able to find any in our price range. Recently a great property came on the market. It’s an absolutely beautiful house, with a great yard for the kids. The family absolutely loves it, we already had a tour and have already discussed finances with the bank.When I went to show it to my parents and sister during our monthly family get together my sister went white as a sheet and bursted out “you can’t buy that house”. She told me that that had been her dream home forever, and that whenever we passed by she pointed to it and said “I will live in that house one day” (this is nearly two decades ago). I remembered, she was right, she did that. Here’s the deal though, I would not buy it if she was seriously interested. She is not, it is a dream and that’s it. A mere fantasy. The mortgage after a 10% down payment is about twice her husband and her salary combined before taxes. My parents have chosen my sister’s side, saying I can’t possibly buy this house as it is her ‘dream’. WIBTA if I did buy it?",WIBTA for buying my sisters ‘dream house’?,NTA
1103hhi,"We recently moved to the city and the public school there is awful, so we sent our two daughters (Apricity and Garnet) to a private school. Garnet is in 6th grade. There is a uniform and the school is strict about it. You can wear 4 different variations, uniform one  (long skirt and blouse thing) uniform two (romper with button down and high socks), uniform three (pants, button down, and tie), and uniform three (shorts, polo shirt). All these are in the school colors.Usually, the female students would wear uniforms one or two and the male students would wear uniforms three or four. When we toured the school we saw some of the girls wearing the ""male"" uniform. It's not a big deal in the school, you just need to wear one variation of the uniform. Garnet likes to wear the romper but it's cold, and it doesn't have the best coverage for her legs so she comes home freezing.  She hates the long skirt but will wear it and her jacket goes to her knees but that doesn't help to wait for the bus for 10 to 20 minutes or recess if she chooses to go out.It's gotten colder (a freeze in our state, which is rare)  to the point where I'm not sending her out in the romper its too short for this weather. So she has been going to school in the long skirt one. I got a call from the school yesterday and she had a cold. I pick her up and her skirt was rolled up past her knee. She has been doing the whole week during the freeze. It's supposed to get colder next week.I told her today until the weather is nicer, she will be wearing the long pants uniform since she isn't staying warm. That she got sick because she decided to freeze. This turned into an argument and she is upset I'm forcing her to wear the ""male"" uniform. I talked to my husband and he said I'm being an ass and that if she wants to freeze then let her freeze.Edit: I guess I'll let her wear what she wants (most likely she will pick the romper) and she will freeze. It will be a first-hand learning opportunity for her to dress for the weather. Natural consequences, dress in the romper she will freeze.","AITA for forcing my daughter to wear the ""male"" uniform",YTA
110bpea,"Throwaway for obvious reasons, I'm on mobile so ignore mistakes please. I (20F) have been working at a small start up my dad owns since I was 17, there are two separate departments of about 6 people each. My boss (38M who i will call Lary) got hired 6 months ago to manage my department that mostly handles customer service and filing, while my dad (50M) manages the other which handles delivery and all the other hands on work.  The first few months Lary started working with us, he was pretty okay. He didn't need much training or introduction and was able to do his job pretty well. Cue last month when we got a large project, it was something a bit out of our range of work but Dad said he'd pick up the slack with his team and all we had to do was normal procedure. We ended up being swamped with work, I remember most nights my dad and I would stay overnight to make sure things were caught up by the deadline. Now, one of the people on my team, who I'll call Susie, is kind of a doormat. She often lets people push things onto her and does things to please others even when she doesn't have to. two weeks ago Susie came to me crying, saying she was working so much her hair was falling out and she couldn't take it anymore. This shocked me as we all should've had an even workload, save for Lary, who managed on top of his load. Susie then confided in me that Lary had been hitting on her constantly since being hired. Every time she'd turn him down, he'd stack all of his work onto her, threatening he'd have her take the fall for our department not meeting deadlines if she disagreed. Now this might be there I was TA, Instead of going to my dad about this, I went straight Lary. I began berating him, calling him names I can't repeat here. I ended it by calling him a deadweight to the company and a pathetic power-hungry pervert. My dad had me take a couple days off as he settled the issue at the company. I thought I did nothing wrong but a couple of my male coworkers said I went too far blowing up at him in front of everyone and my dad said that while he understood my frustration, it wasn't professional for a workplace and I cant act like that again without punishment and now I think I took it too far.So reddit, AITA?",AITA for calling my manger a pathetic power-hungry pervert in front of the whole office?,NTA
10zwlrs,"My (35M) wife and I took our kids for dinner at the local pub/restaurant tonight with another family. I took my son (3) to the toilet around 6:45 to deal with a bit of a poo emergency.While my son and I were in the cubicle two guys (20s, a little bit drunk but not out of control) came in and were waiting to use the toilet. I was dealing with the situation as quickly as someone dealing with a shit covered 3 year old can, but they were obviously impatient.My son is very very talkative and loud and likes to narrate so there was lots of “there’s more poo coming” and “there’s poo everywhere daddy” and the like. The guys outside found this hilarious (and I recognise that it is objectively funny) but then they started responding to him (“ooh is it a big poo”) which I could really have done without. I opened the cubicle door and asked if they could wait outside while I dealt with this. The lead guy looked at me for a long time and said “no, I’ll stay right here”.They kept responding to my son every time he spoke and after a few minutes I asked them firmly to go away and leave me and my son alone. They again refused and said “you need to calm down” and “life is supposed to be fun why are you so uptight”.I decided to get the hell out of there so abandoned the cleanup mission, stuffed my shit-smeared child back into his clothes and left.I then asked to speak to the manager, explained what had happened and he asked their whole group to leave.I genuinely can’t decide whether I was the asshole here. On the one hand, I was super stressed and I didn’t react perfectly (I should have just ignored them) but on the other hand I think “please stop talking to my naked child and give us some space” is just the sort of thing you comply with without much arguing.AITA?Edit 1: they weren’t drunk drunk, they were probably 3-4 pints in.",AITA for getting two guys thrown out of the pub after they wouldn’t leave me alone in the toilet,NTA
110bqiv,"Our family was at a mini golf place enjoying ourselves. It was my husband and myself, plus our two young kids - 5 and 2. It wasn’t a particularly busy night but there were a few parties spread out throughout the various holes on the course. We noticed there was a large group that seemed to be creating some commotion nearby (3-4 kids around ages 7-9 plus probably 3 sets of parents). The kids were running between various holes with their putters and golf balls, jumping into the middle as people were playing, hitting other people’s balls - just generally being rude and unruly. The parents were just nonchalantly walking along and chatting, and not saying anything to the kids as this was happening. Somewhere halfway through the course, these kids came up to where we were putting and just ran onto our hole as we were in the middle of our turn. I firmly told one of the kids, hey, you can’t do that, please wait your turn - we are finishing up. He kinda shrugged and they ran off to go hit their ball in another hole. This continued but they left us alone until the last hole, where the kids in that group ran back and just started grabbing our golf balls, screaming, and walking all over the final hole while we were playing. I saw one of the fathers in that group nearby and I (sort of annoyed at this point) told him to get a handle on his kids since they’re being super disruptive to other people. For some reason he took a lot of offense and replied “can’t you hear I’m telling them not to do it” (actually I heard none of that - the parents were just in conversation in their own world). And he also said that “this is a kids place, everyone is having fun”. Umm no, it’s a mini golf course and I’m no stickler for golf etiquette but your kids are literally just trampling everywhere as people are playing, with no regard for anyone else. I kind of snapped at him and told him his kids shouldn’t be jumping into other peoples turns, and ruining the game for others and that there’s rules on how to act on a mini golf course. He eventually walked away with his family and muttered something snarky under his breath as he was going to a different part of the course. It was hole 18 for us so we just left afterward but in the car ride home, I was wondering if I should have just left well enough alone and not said anything to the parent (it honestly accomplished nothing). A couple of the parties nearby were looking my way as I was having words with this parent, which made me think maybe I overreacted. Anyways, AITA?",AITA for yelling at the parents of kids who were being disruptive at mini golf?,NTA
1101hzx,"My wife is pregnant, due end of Feb. My mom lives in another state (FL), we told her very early so she had ample time to plan. A month ago she drops the info that she’s scheduled visitors to her house for 90% of the month of March and can only come 3/1-3/4, when my wife will still be in hospital or just coming home. At first I say it won’t work, but a week later she calls and strongly pressures us into saying it’s ok. Fast forward 2 days ago, hospital trips becoming more regular, baby might be coming early, I’m updating her and she says oh FYI your brother is coming with to help when I visit. I’m livid that she would put my wife in this position right after coming home, but I say in the tamest possible way, “it would have been nice if you asked us and didn’t invite him to our house with no notice during a time like that.” This starts a whole rabbit hole—my mom is arguably a clinical narcissist, so she never says anything to the effect of I’m sorry, or that probably wasn’t the best approach. She goes OFF on how I’m ungrateful, I have a warped perception of reality, etc. Despite me explicitly saying several times throughout the exchange that I do not want her to cancel, I just want more consideration for my wife, it ends with her cancelling the trip altogether. I know this is something she will deeply regret which is why I tried strongly to say do not cancel, but I know that due to her narcissism the only way she will decide to come now is some massive apology which I don’t feel is warranted, and I’ve reached a point in my life I’m not willing to continue catering to her issues at my family’s expense. AITA?",AITA for not sucking up to my mom,NTA
110efqe,"I'm 33F and since getting my first pay cheque at 18, have always given a large chunk of it to my mum. She's a single mum who doesn't work and although I haven't always been consistent with giving her money  it has been a regular thing throughout these years. The problem starts now because I'm living abroad and am at the point where I just want to leave and start fresh somewhere new.  So for that I have to save and so I'm thinking not to give my mum anymore money, when she heard I was receiving a bonus through my brother she messaged me lot asking for money and saying she needed it for heating and vet bills which fine I'm happy to pay for this. Skip forward a few weeks later j found out she has spent that money on leaflets her and friends enjoy distributing on the streets and then a big lunch for some of my other family.I feel pissed off because not only am i the oldest child but I'm the only child currently employed and although it is in my mums culture that the children support her in adult life, I feel like I won't ever get to save properly nor did I really get that opportunity since I compare myself to everyone else who seems to get GIVEN money by their parents and yet here I am the other way round. I'm considering to tell her I won't be giving money going forward but am worried the whole family will kick off and think I'm the AH.EDIT: thank you everyone genuinely thank you for helping me be sure of my decision and to learn to put boundaries up. It is my life after all and after some reflecting I've realised I've been too soft and empathetic to the detriment of myself and I'm totally done. I'm going to start saving for myself and won't be giving handouts so easily even if I'm the only one working in my family everyone is right I'm.not responsible anymore I'm bloody 33 and think I deserve a future of my own",AITA for not wanting to give any more money to my mum?,NTA
10zxq4c,"When I first met my stepchildren, I fell in love and devoted all my time, energy and money to them. We had them every weekend and we built a great relationship, or so I thought. I never tried to be a parent, never disciplined or told them what to do and left all that to Dad. They became involved in my family events, I arranged days outs/staycations and bought all their birthday/Christmas gifts. I helped with homework and cooked all their favourite meals. When I unexpectedly came into a little money, I took them to Disneyland. I don’t know what more I could have done. Periodically over the years, the girls would refuse to come to us and we were never told why but their Mum said we just had to ‘respect their feelings’. We never got to the bottom of it but they always came back round for a birthday/holiday or when their mum needed a ‘break’. After 5 years out of the blue, their Mum said they aren’t coming round because they don’t like me, they never have, I treat their Dad badly and they don’t want to see it. Apparently we argue all the time and I expect their Dad to do all the housework and childcare for our 3 young boys. I was floored. This is just the opposite of our family life. My husband and I are a team, we NEVER argue in front of the kids as my stepchildren were pretty traumatised by the arguing they saw when their parents were together and it was the first rule of our house to never be like that and to protect them from any disagreements. No criticism on my husband but I also do 99% of the housework and cooking. Their Mum said we couldn’t discuss any of this with them and we stupidly listened. Funnily enough they didn’t mind being around me to come on my family’s two week vacation abroad and they came to that having not seen us for 3 months. I was so hurt but pushed it to the side and focused on having a great holiday with them and my wider family couldn’t have been more inclusive. But I’ve been walking on eggshells ever since. Now my husband needs to travel abroad for work and we decided to join him and make a holiday of it as my parents live there but we aren’t taking my stepchildren. We would if we could but the flights are three times the price during school holidays and I just want my parents to be able to spend some quality time with their grandchildren. It’s the first time we have ever gone away without my stepchildren (we even did a family holiday instead of a honeymoon) buts it’s taken me three years to save up for the flights and it would realistically take several more if we were taking them too. I have felt really bad about it because I don’t want them to feel excluded but surely it’s okay for me to do something for my children just this once? I’m honestly tired of making sacrifices for them when they speak behind my back and make me out to be something I’m not. It’s made the family life we worked so hard to create feel like a lie and tainted so many memories. AITA for going without them?",AITA for going on holiday without my stepchildren?,NTA
110eg7b,"My girlfriend (30F) and I (40M) have lived together about one year. I am introverted and keep my interests to myself, while she is excitable and talkative, and likes to gush about her interests. I listen politely, but I just don't care about most of the topics, and the chatter cuts into my quiet time. If I cut her off, she gets dejected and pouts. I explained it comes off as attention-seeking or attempting to impress me, and it helped her cut back on the extraneous details, but she still has her excited outbursts.Her newest (rediscovered) obsession is Minecraft. I've listened to her random tidbits, I even humored her when she asked my opinion on her ""concept house in creative mode."" Today while we were out with friends, she happily brought up her Minecraft progress. I teasingly (but honestly) said that at a certain age, Minecraft is a form of regression and shouldn't be shared so proudly and openly. She got quiet, the topic changed, but she had that dejected look the rest of the time.When we got home, she called me a jerk and said I ruined her excitement for the game. She complained that I'm always encouraging her to find new interests and always mocking her choices. I argued it wasn't mocking, it's a common opinion and I shouldn't be afraid to share my opinions with her. I told her I'm very close to never speaking to her again, if she continues to act like this. If her enjoyment is dependent on my opinion, she should just keep her interests to herself. AITA?",AITA for teasing my GF for talking about her hobbies?,YTA
110e3lr,"EDIT: I don’t think I emphasized the level of noise properly. It’s not a normal amount of apartment noise (I also have a condo in the US and I am both the upstairs and downstairs neighbor. My upstairs neighbor has kids and a dog - no problems there) After asking the dad this morning, it was noticeably quieter and calmer — of course, we continued to hear “regular” apartment noise, but not ceiling/fixture shaking noise. So it seems there is some level of control to the actions after the dad was made aware and tried. There’s a difference between asking someone to tiptoe and whisper and never drop a feather and to not allow your kid to partake in rambunctious activity first thing in the morning every morning. I live in a first floor apartment (not by choice, but necessity — here in Denmark, finding a place to rent is difficult and can take months and requires a 6-7 month deposit). Of course, ideally I would live in a detached home or on a top floor but that is simply not an option right now. Our upstairs neighbors have a toddler who is up around 7-730 daily and every morning and evening (and throughout the day) without fail, they let their child run/jump around. The stomping noises travel down into our home. Some context: I have severe anxiety and am sensitive to noise. I also work from home. My fiancé is currently recovering from 2 months of cancer treatment — so is more tired than usual, on lots of pain meds, and I get very protective of his comfort. For 6 weeks, we had to be up early for daily radiation treatments and never got the chance to just relax and sleep in on the weekends bc we are awakened by the commotion upstairs first thing in the morning.  This morning, I went upstairs after being jarred out of my sleep a bit after 7 am. So I knocked several times before the door was answered. I was still half asleep, so don’t remember my exact words, but I said something along the lines of “we are being awakened every morning by noise coming from here. I am sure it’s not intentional, but the sound travels and sounds really loud from downstairs and wakes us up. Right now, my fiancé is recovering from cancer and I would appreciate it if you could try to keep it down”. I mentioned that I had spoken to his wife about it recently. I spoke with the wife about 6 weeks ago (similar language — I tried to make it clear that I didn’t think it was intentional but if they could try). She basically made excuses (there’s no running/jumping happening, it’s an old building, etc.) I said okay, I would appreciate it if you could try. In the meantime, nothing had changed, so I went up again this morning. So, AITA for asking my neighbors to try to keep their kid from making excessive noise in the mornings?",AITA for asking neighbors to be quieter in the morning?,NTA
11098vd,"I (25F) have a difficult relationship with my father. My mother passed away a couple of year ago and our relationship has only gotten worse. My father was always absent growing up, constantly at work. He didn’t spend a lot of time with me and when he did, he just talked about how I disappoint him. This is a bit odd since I rarely got in trouble, had straight A’s, didn’t date, and stayed in church. My mother and I were best friends and she praised me in all aspects of life. The complete opposite. Since my mother passed, my father’s anger toward me has grown and I don’t understand. He claims he’s not angry with me, he just “wants me to be best best I can be and not fail like my other siblings”. This hurt me because I love my siblings and I proud of them accomplishments. For Christmas, I purchased a $150 gold chain for my father (I am in school for my bachelors and pay for school out of pocket). I got other people’s opinion and it was highly recommended. I sent it in the mail and my father said he “didn’t want it because it is fake gold” and that he would not wear it. He did not thank me for the gift at all. I told him that it could be returned if he wanted and he returned it. Since then, he hasn’t been talking to me much. Was it wrong to return it and not get him another gift? I just feel like anything I got wouldn’t have been good enough.",AITA for returning my father's gift,NTA
1100rlm,"TLDR: I’ve a broken leg and I’m on crutches and my husband keeps  soaking the downstairs bathroom floor. I’ve asked him to use our upstairs bathroom until I’ve recovered. And now he’s so angry at me I can’t believe I’m posting thisIt’s so ridiculous. So I (F40s) currently have a broken leg, and I’m in a leg cast and on crutches. I spend most of my day downstairs (working from home, managing the kids and house work etc). So I use our  downstairs bathroom, as I find it pretty scary hopping or crawling upstairs on crutches unless 100% necessary. For some reason, every time my husband (M 40s) uses the downstairs bathroom, the floor is soaked and he doesn’t wipe it up after. I don’t know if it’s urine from bad aim, or back splash from washing his hands or what. But I’ve almost slipped a few times on my crutches and it’s so dangerous.  I’ve repeatedly asked him to wipe the floor so I don’t slip. He doesn’t, he says he just “forgets” and he doesn’t know why it’s happening. I started just trying to wipe the floor with a towel before I go in, but I’ve nearly fallen a few times doing it - it’s hard to balance and wipe floors on crutches!After about the 10th time of nearly slipping, I asked him to please use the upstairs bathroom if he can’t dry the floor. Just for next couple month while I’m on crutches. He got so angry and told me it wasn’t a big deal and I just need to get better handling my crutches or go upstairs. This is just bizarre to me and totally outta character for him. AITA??*UPDATE*: Thanks for the responses. I made him sit down for an honest, kind, non-judgemental chat. This is all a new thing since I’m in crutches - not likes it’s been happening before. So - It’s water from OTT hand washing. I have some wounds and stitches from surgery and injury, and he’s terrified and disgusted by risk of infections.  It’s all triggered some very old OCD stuff that he was too grossed out and embarrassed to say. He’s gonna just use upstairs bathroom til I’m recovered and link in with supports if needed.",AITA for asking my husband to use the upstairs bathroom?,NTA
11057nl,"Last night after going out with her friends, my (20m) girlfriend (20f) called me asking if I could come pick her up because she was too drunk. Since I was already there she asked me if I could give her friends a ride home too. I thought it was only fair if they reimburse me for gas money because it was a far ride there, back, and to each of their homes. So the next day when she was sober, I asked my girlfriend if she could ask her friends to pay me. My girlfriend got upset with me, and said I shouldn’t expect them to reimburse me because driving them home was the right thing to do. Yes it was the right thing to do, but gas is expensive and if I wasn’t there they would’ve just paid for Ubers anyways. So why can’t they pay me. AITA?",AITA for asking my girlfriend to ask her friends to pay me for driving them home,YTA
1107bil,"So, a backstory leading up to this: a few days ago my kids, 3&6 had a snow day. My husband also got the day off work due to the snow. He spent nearly the entire day on his laptop watching shows while the kids and I played. I was upset because I thought it could have been a great day to connect and make memories with them together. I guess I didn’t make that expectation known up front, and that’s on me, but this has been such a pattern. I don’t have anything against him getting time to himself to relax, but he should interact with them some and I should get that chance, too, right?My husband hardly interacts with them, especially over the past couple of years, and he never takes them anywhere on his own. He mostly just kisses them goodbye in the morning when he leaves for work, hi when he gets home, and goodnight before bed. He also seems to be much more harsh with our oldest than our youngest for some reason. I’ve told him over and over again he should make more of an effort to bond and play with them, because he gets upset when they strongly prefer me for everything over him. I am a SAHM and with them more, so that’s partly why, but still. Anyway, I wrote him a letter over a text last night telling him I was upset about the snow day and why. He didn’t read it until this morning and only sent back a thumbs up emoji. I didn’t send anything back after that because he was working and it felt pointless. Sometimes when we get in arguments, we text instead of talk so we can get our points across a little more clearly.So, this afternoon, while he was still at work, I took the kids to meet my MIL and the kids’ cousins at an indoor playground. My MIL couldn’t meet until the afternoon so that’s when we went, too. I left a note telling my husband where we were on our kitchen dry erase board so he’d see it when he got home.The kids were having a great time. My husband called me angrily, and said “so you’re still there?” I said, “yes.” And he huffed and was upset because he wouldn’t get to see the kids or tell them goodnight before he had to leave. (He leaves before dinner on Saturdays to go play D&D with his friends). He also said “and I would like to know where my kids are when I get home.” I told him about the note on the white board, and he said, “do you mean the board I have a 5% chance of seeing, that one?” (it’s on the fridge but he has ADHD and isn’t always observant). And that I should have sent him a message about it instead. And then hung up on me. I texted him back explaining that his mom couldn’t get together until the afternoon and I’m sorry that interferes with him leaving for D&D, but I didn’t deserve to be spoken to that way. To which he responded with another thumbs up emoji. If you’ve read this far, thank you. I’m feeling really sad. He is still out at D&D. AITA for not having the kids here to see him?",AITA for being out with the kids when my husband got home from work?,NTA
10zy0lr,"Me (29F) and my fianće ""J"" (26M)  recently welcomed our first child ""V""(F). Last weekend we were invited to a family gathering from my future In- Laws ( His Dad, StrepMom and basically all of Js paternal family) for celebrating ""the first child of the oldest son of the head of the family"". If it matters, Js paternal family is from albania, very family orientatet and muslim. Till that evening, I have just met his Dad and SMom, wich are totally fine with me being an ""christian- influenced- atheist""... and don't wearing an hijab.After the introduktion of V and me the conversation went downhill. At first someone said that V doesn't look the slightest  like J, and that he should take an paternity test. He said that we, for the sake of the family, will take one, but he is sure that I would never cheat.Next his aunt asked when I will take over to  Islam ( please forgive the stupid wording, I dont know how to say it otherwise) and start wearing my hijab. I said I dont plan to do so, and that we want to raise V with the intention  that she could decide by herself  what she wants to belive in. It would be mild to say that half of the family was p****d after that.J wanted to fix things by stating that I maybe change my mind after marriage (Nope) and that he could guide me... Says the guy who regulary eats - and drinks something non- halal and smokes.To hold things short , after some other questions in that manner the discussion escalates into something like "" you b*th, dare you to live on j's expenses in his flat, not even doing all the housework). At this point I may turned to be TA, as I said that its actually my flat, that I pay for all our expenses and even for J's liabilities and his car, inklusive insurance and that a man who can't even wash some clothes, cook (at least for himself) or take the trash out isnt even an adult but a child himself. With this words I left (with our child of course), followed by an gobsmacked and angry J.He's still angry about the things I said, and my future SMIL texted me that I ruined the gathering and the reputation of my fianće and his father. I must admit that I maybe went to far with the declaration of our financial situation, but these hourlong accusations that Im likely an golddigger and J not defending me had turned  an switch in my head.",AITA for embarassing my fianće in front of his family,NTA
10zvecw,"I (M28) recently got married to my now wife (F26). We had about 40 people there, and It was lovely.Now, the reason I didn't invite my sister Is mostly because of her attitude. She loves being better than people and berating others. Last time we were at a wedding for my cousin, she wore a white dress with  white pearly earrings and white high heels. My cousin was so upset and after my sister got scolded, she was grinning.She has also worn white to funerals before, tried to steal the spotlight at multiple birthday's and has ruined reunions before.It has gotten so bad, even our immediate family has requested she stays home when we meet.Now that's out of the way. My wife Is really sensitive and Is the type to cry easily. The thought of her crying was enough to not invite my sister.My sister has also shown multiple times that she dislikes my wife.She has practically blow up my messages, and tried to guilt-trip me by telling me she's crying so much due to me breaking her trust.AITA?",AITA for not inviting my sister to my wedding?,NTA
10zz7yn,"I 23f have been dating let’s call him John for 3 months now and I also have a sister 21f let’s call her Emily.John and Emily have only met once, but that’s because she doesn’t like him and she is away at college but only 2 states out so we see her every month or so. Emily says he feels scared around him. At this point I should mention Emily got out of an abusive relationship 4 months go but is doing really well.Our moms birthday is coming up and Emily was going to be at the party we are throwing. But when she heard that John was coming she said  she wouldn’t be because of him. When John found out about this he felt really bad because he really likes my mom and Emily.My mom said that it was ether John or Emily and I had to choose. I chose John because I don’t think it’s fair to isolate John because Emily doesn’t like him and refuses to tell us why. Now my dad, mom and brother and our other sister think I am an asshole because my boyfriend is coming but not Emily and that Emily is family and he isn’t. But he was at Christmas. I don’t see what I did wrong, I was given a choice and I made it.Update: My other sister saw the post and got upset that I was posting something like this on the internet. She said the reason why Emily felt uncomfortable was that John was one of Emily’s abusive ex ‘s friends and the he had to of knew about the abuse in their relationship. I talked to John about it and he said the he never knew and that he doesn’t understand why he’s friends would do that and that he doesn’t believe Emily in that his friend would hurt a woman. I also saw that people didn’t like that I was given the choice to choose. My mom has high blood pressure and has been hospitalized because of that in the past and she doesn’t like arguments so something’s, like this make her blood pressure go up. so she had me choose.",AITA for choosing my boyfriend over my sister,YTA
110cx9m,"For the past six months, my partner (39m) has been exciting himself with the dangling carrot of going travelling at the end of the year (he likes the idea of backpacking around Asia and Eastern Europe. He never got to do much travelling when he was younger and first starting out in the finance industry. Now he’s a freelancer, so can pick and choose when and how he works.)He’s going HARD right now in saving and the thought of having that to look forward to with me made him happier than I’ve ever seen him.Now, the problem. I (32f) have just been diagnosed with uterine cancer after a routine smear identified suspicious cells. Aaaaand it’s spread to my kidney. Guess I should have gone to my checkup the first time they requested me to (go to your smears, anybody in the demographic of needing one! It’s more important than you realise), but finding windows in my work schedule (I’m an EMT. I know. I should have known better and been more in tune with my body but there’s a reason they say those in the medical industry make the worst patients) has been difficult.Here’s where I’m probably the asshole. I haven’t seen my mother since before covid due to the fact that she lives in Australia and I work in a high risk field. She has heart issues and I would never want to put her at risk of something that could cause so much damage to her. We FaceTime almost every day (only reason I bother with FB, to be honest) but it’s not enough. I’ve always been extremely close to my mother since I was adopted at 6, and at a time like this I really need her. My current contract with my work is due to expire in a few weeks, and I’m thinking of not renewing right now so I can go to Australia and spend a few months with her while I receive surgery and treatment (I have dual citizenship in Aus and Northern Ireland). Meaning the travelling likely won’t happen. Since my diagnosis, my partner has been distant to say the least. I think he realised as soon as I told him about the cancer that it would mean his dream was on hold yet again. He hasn’t come with me to any of my appointments, and can barely even ask me how they went. I don’t know what to do for the best. I was excited about going travelling, too. But even the thought of it at the moment is exhausting me.Would I be the asshole for asking him to hold off for a little while longer? Part of me feels like I’m holding him back, and is tempted to tell him to go on his own and evaluate our relationship while he has that freedom.","WIBTA for taking time off of work to visit my mum, rather than going away with my partner?",NTA
110cj5f,"I (27M) met this girl named Kat (27F) online in July of 2022. Everything started off great we would talk everyday. We even sent each other good morning and good night messages. The problem started around thanksgiving. Every year around thanksgiving my job (private airport) gets really busy until after the new year. So when I noticed that I was scheduled for six days straight of 10-12 hours every week. I told her that I wouldn’t have time to talk much. She said that she understood and just message her when I got the chance. And I did. It was great until the middle of December. I was working so much that all I did when I got home was shower, text her good night, then fall asleep. On my only day off that week she text me really mad saying “why don’t you text me more? You’re not giving me enough attention.” So I ensured her that whenever I got down time at work I would make sure to give her more attention especially with things slowing down. Now I’m responding faster and things are going well. Fast forward to February 5th 2023. I notice that I finally have the rare two days off I’ve been longing for since November. I message her a tell her that on Friday the 10th I’m turning off my phone and sleeping the entire day. So that’s what I did. Only waking up to fulfill my primal urges. I wake up February 11th to no less than 50 messages asking why I’m ignoring her and calling me all kinds of aholes. So AITA for taking one day to just have my phone off and sleep?",AITA for wanting to not be on my phone all the time.,NTA
110elj0,"Hi! Firstly sorry for any grammar mistakes, English is not my first language! Some background: so me (f19) and my friend (f23) live about 7 hours away from each other and are both collectors of albums (this will be important information for the whole situation) Around beginning of December my friend asked me what I was doing during new years and the week after, I told her that I would be working New Year’s Eve and also had some shifts scheduled during the time period she asked about. She then proceeded to ask me if she would be able to come and celebrate new years with me and my family and I told her that I wouldn’t be able to remove any shifts and that I had told my work that those days that I’m working I could stay longer if needed (I work in retail and this season is always the busiest for us), she told me she was okay with that so I agreed. She started talking about going on a road trip and going places a bit further away so I was very clear that if any of that would happened she had to split diesel costs with me for those days. Diesel is expensive and I’m not able to cover everything on my own. She got unsure because she had gotten a low salary (she works a job where she’s deciding how much she works and how many shift she takes) but told me she would sell some stuff to afford it. She had almost half of my then collection at her place because she had offered months earlier to help me sell it. I never noticed anything while she was selling but she made about 120$ from selling stuff which in the end covered all of the diesel costs. She had asked if she could sell some of my stuff so that could cover my part of diesel if needed and I gave that an okay. When I, after she traveled back home, noticed that a part of my collection was missing while hers was fully intact I got suspicious. Turns out that the money she collected was only from my stuff never from hers. The thing is I’m always happy to help if I’m able to but she knew that I would have to put down almost 1000$ only on my car in January for repairs and new tires and that was the reason I was selling half of my collection. I got pissed and wrote to her asking why only my collection was sold and not hers and she told me no one was interested in hers…I snapped and told her she took my money and hid it so that she didn’t need to pay for diesel, she basically stole from me. She tried coming with excuses about how I used my car more (I only calculated the costs of the trips when she was in the car not when I drove to work) and how I was the only one spending money while away. I saw red and told her that I couldn’t trust her anymore and that she have to send back my stuff and that if I knew that she would pull a stunt like that I wouldn’t had allowed her to come in the first place.I feel like I was harsh on her as she brought up mental health and that I made more money than her but I still feel like I was betrayed as she knew how much I needed that money. So AITA?",AITA for snapping at my friend after she lied to me of where her money came from?,NTA
110e9dg,"I have been struggling with severe health anxiety off and on for nearly two years now. I've been making a lot of progress over the last few months, but these past two weeks, I've been extremely anxious and have fallen back into some of my old compulsive behaviors (checking my heart rate and blood pressure, asking for reassurance, and even going to the emergency room--more on that in a bit).Recently, when I tell my boyfriend I'm feeling particularly anxious, he'll just say ""oh no"" or ""everything is fine"" and then immediately go back to whatever he's doing, usually playing video games or doing something on his phone. I've told him that sometimes this bothers me, and would like a little more support or not to feel like I'm competing with a video game for his attention, and he thinks this is an unfair assessment, and that there's not much more he can really do for me other than reassure me.I recognize his point. The whole idea of anxiety is that it is mostly immune to reassurance. I also recognize that I can be a lot. Between panic attacks and thinking I'm going to die on a nightly basis, my need for reassurance can sometimes be great. That said, is it unreasonable for me to maybe want him to put down the controller every so often and actually talk me? He knows that I'm usually able to calm down if I just work through things.Being alone is a huge trigger for me because I fear dying suddenly with no one around to witness and call emergency services. The other night, I had a very, very bad panic attack about this (heart rate was jumping from the 40s to the 120s back to the 40s, breathing was impossible, chest pain was crushing and consistent--I, of course, thought I was going to die).My boyfriend was asleep and had work the next day and so as much as I wanted to wake him for help, I knew it was probably anxiety and him getting some sleep was more important.I did, however, need the panic attack to end and even though I knew it was probably anxiety, I also thought I was genuinely going to die (for those of you who don't suffer from anxiety/panic attacks, I know that doesn't make sense, but these things can really warp your reality). So, I called 911 to take me to the ER (probably should've Ubered, I know) where I knew I could calm down.When I told him about it the next day, the first thing he did was yell, ""what is wrong with you?"" He then proceeded to say that I know nothing is wrong with me so it makes no sense that I would call 911. His tone was very, very exasperated, bordering anger, and then asked if I called 911 to our apartment. I said yes (where else would I call them? lol), which upset him more.Am I being unreasonable for asking him to do more to try and help me through panic attacks? And am I wrong for calling 911 for a panic attack? AITA?Edit: I just wanted to add that it was EMS that recommened I go to the ER. My diastolic blood pressure was in the 190s which, panic attack or not, is dangerous. Thanks for weighing in guys!",AITA for calling 911?,YTA
110e73m,"SO… mil bought a dress that’s grey on the skirt but the top is literally like a wedding dress. Imagine the upper half of a classic white lacy wedding dress. She calls her other two sons and their partners (partners are writing this post) for opinions and we’re kind but honest about the fact that A) you can’t wear white to a wedding and B) when she’s sat at a table she will literally look like she’s wearing a wedding dress. So are we the assholes? Should we have kept our opinions to ourselves and let her potentially embarrass herself at her son’s wedding….?Edit - We’re close with our mil and from the video call with her when she showed us the dress, it was clear she had not thought about the white thing, let alone the “looking like a wedding dress” aspect…as difficult as that is to believe!",AITA for telling my mil her mother of the groom dress looked like a wedding dress,NTA
1100gca,"I am a middle school teacher and I have been at my school for 13 years. My grade level colleagues are a great group and work smoothly together.  This year a math teacher quit and we got a new one at the start of the new semester. From the start she rubs people the wrong way. She has a student also attending our school and has been rude and even yelled at some of the teachers about things happening with her daughter. They have nothing to do with how the teachers have treated her daughter, just things she believes need to happen because she wants them to. Fast forward to her working with us. She has been hosting math tutoring during her lunch time which is perfectly fine. No one has an issue with that. The problem is that she has then kept kids past the bell to finish something for her then escorts them to their next class as much as 35 minutes late interrupting our classes, even talking over us to state why she kept them. She has done this to multiple teachers multiple time. After another instance in my class I asked her to please not bring them to class late as it is disruptive.  She then proceeded to blame the student and say basically it’s his fault and his parents should be contacted and walked out. I immediately emailed my AP with the situation and was told she had already complained about me calling her out in front of the class. So, AITA?",AITA for asking another teacher to stop doing something in front of the class?,NTA
110fz13,"Hi, using throwaway for privacy. So this incident has divided my friend group and I'm very confused, so looking for impartial judgement. I, 21f, recently went on a blind date that a friend set up for me. For some background, I work full time, have a very stable income and enjoy finer things in life. Ofc if I'm out with my friends then I do what everyone wants to do but I always envision that if I date someone, it would be someone who could go to places I like to go and do things i like to enjoy and more importantly be able to afford them. But at no point would I ever expect someone to pay for me, just pay for themselves. So when I went on this date, it was going fine, he seemed sweet, we had a few common interests. Then he mentioned how he couldn't wait to finish his degree. Now that was a little shocking to me because he was 25 and usually finished their bachelor's by 23 but i thought maybe he took a break, maybe it was his last year. So i asked him about it and he told me that it was actually his first year, he was in and out of rehab for years and his parents had cut him off until he got clean. Now they took out loans to pay for his college and give him limited allowance. I want to mention, I am very happy for him for getting clean and getting his life back together. But I knew then and there that I couldn't have the life i wanted with him, not until he finished his degree after 3 years. So I told him that he seems great but I can't see this going further. He was understandably upset and asked me why. So I was honest and told him that i want someone who can travel with me frequently, who can go to fancy places with me, and as happy as I am for him, it doesn't seem fair to me. I could see he got a little irritated at this, which i guess is acceptable, but he just nodded and asked for the bill. I offered him cash for my half, which he accepted and then we parted ways. I get home and a couple hours later, the friend who set us up is blowing my phone with messages saying how disappointed she is with me and how she never realised i was a gold digger. So apparently the guy told her that i rejected him because of his past and unemployment. I tried explaining to her that his past didn't bother me and I have expectations which he couldn't fulfill and Never did i expect him to fund anything for me. But she went around telling everyone about this, some people took my side and have been defending me but some are also saying that i shouldn't have told him the truth, instead told him I'm simply not interested. But some are calling me all names in the book and calling me disgusting. And this is really making me think that expecting someone to be financially stable is really that bad? So reddit, Aita?",AITA for rejecting someone because he didn't have a job?,NTA
1109s7b,"I am 30F, my husband is 40M. We have a 9 month old daughter, and two huskies. I work a full-time hybrid job (60/40 remote/in person). I do all the cooking and preparing meals for our baby. He is a stay at home dad, takes care of our garden, and our 6 chickens. My husband says I need to do more to keep the house clean. Cleaning has never been my strong suit. I lived with my grandma for most of my life, and she cleaned and cooked. I never cleaned anything growing up. As a result, I’m not the best at cleaning, and I don’t have the most common sense about it. I currently have a goal to spend 30 minutes a day cleaning, but sometimes I’m just so tired or I don’t feel like it and would rather engage in self care to unwind. My job isn’t physical, but it’s mentally taxing, and it’s not uncommon for me to have to balance 20+ projects at one time. I’m thankful to mostly work from home, but lately I’ve been fantasizing about going into work more because the house has been stressing me out.Because we have a lot of stuff, and it’s hard to keep it clean. I know I need to sweep daily, and I made a list of everything else that needs cleaning, but it’s hard to stick to that schedule. It also overwhelms me when I can’t get things as clean as I’d like. I know this is going to be a bigger issue once our baby starts walking. I’ve asked my husband for advice, and he says “just do it.” It’s not the most helpful because while I understand I need to, it’s difficult for me to balance it along with working full time, being the one that does the cooking, breastfeeding our baby, and finding time for myself. The husky fur is a big issue. My younger husky has no issues with being brushed, so he doesn’t shed as much, but my older husky despises being brushed, so she sheds a lot more, and in clumps. I know I need to brush her more, but I spare her at the expense of our house.I’ve offered to pay for a scheduled cleaning service, but my husband doesn’t want strangers coming into our home. I want to figure out how I’m supposed to balance being a breastfeeding mom, having a full time job, keeping everything clean, and having time to myself. So reddit, am I the asshole for not doing more? Please be kind if I am and provide tips for how I’m supposed to balance this along with my mental health. I would appreciate your thoughtful perspectives on this and any advice.I think I am an asshole because I’ve had many examples in my life of women doing everything to take care of the house. In my ethnicity, it is expected for the woman to be a homemaker. I’m having a really hard time figuring out how to balance motherhood, working, cleaning, and me time. I struggled with depression for years, and I don’t want to fall back into that. I strive to be the best version of myself that I can be for my daughter, but to do that, don’t I need some me time? Or do I just need to dedicate a lot more of my spare time to cleaning and making sure the house is in order?",AITA for not doing more around the house?,NTA
11050rs,"My parents were living in a condo, and the owner was being a jerk. Back in September, my husband (33 M) and a close friend of ours (24 M) went over during their free time to help load the moving truck and pack. I stayed home to watch  my two young children (both under 5) because they would under foot. My parents stayed with us at the end of September (they were in escrow for a new place) and didn't move into their new place until mid November.  During their stay with us, we set some house rules about not parenting my children, smoking in the house, and whatnot. They broke every rule outside the smoking in the house while staying with us. My husband and I (34 F) didn't say anything since we knew it was only temporary.  But their stay has put a strain on my relationship with them. Growing up, we didn't necessarily got along. Especially with my dad since he was abusive and an alcoholic. It wasn't until I moved out that I had children that we started to get along better. November came around, and we helped move my parents into their new place. With the help of our friend. They still left a lot of their crap at our place.Yesterday, my dad called to give me an update on how things were going with them, and then they mentioned that my mom couldn't find her accounting bag. Then my dad proceeded to accuse my husband and my friend, that volunteered to help them move, of throwing the bag away and implying that he was either careless or incompetent. I got mad and said that was pretty shitty to accuse someone that spent their free time helping you to accuse them like that.  My dad got made and defensive and said that was not what he meant and continued to say the same thing and accused my friend of possibly throwing it way. I laid into him again, saying that he had no evidence saying he did or not and it is not okay to just accuse people like that especially after they helped. He hunged up on me and I haven't heard back.My husband and I went through our garage and their is a huge pile of their crap still in our garage and found the missing bag that my dad accused my friend throwing away.I don't feel bad for telling my dad off,  but this might hurt my relationship with my mom and brother...Am I the asshole?Edit 1: My husband and I looked for the bag after the phone call. I did texted my mom and she is going to swing by after work to pick it up",AITA for telling my dad that he is being shitty?,NTA
110eigc,"So I went round my friends house yesterday for a sleepover and there was one girl there who i knew but i hadnt seen for a year and we were never close, let call her Mia. We got to the point where we started having deep conversations and one of my friends was oversharing a bit so Mia told them to calm down as they may regret sharing this stuff. They then got into a deep conversation about dealing with trama and at this point i was just in the room with them as the other 2 friends at the sleepover were somewhere else. I wasn’t really included in the conversation but i was there listening and talking a bit so it wasn’t super awkward. Anyway, my friend said they felt a lot better at the moment, keeping in mind we had a few drinks. So to lighten the mood, i made a dark joke about livers being replaceable.Keep in mind this isn’t uncommon in the friend group and Mia used to make them as well last year. Anyway after that the others came back in the room and my friend who was there was laughing at the joke. Mia then said they were going to the toilet and one of the friends who just came in left again as they knew something was up. I didnt know why they were crying at the time but my friend thought it was there fault. Anyway, this friend left an hour later and as they were walking downstairs, Mia told my friend “its not your fault i was crying it was my name” they didn’t know i was behind them and heard this. Now im confused what to do. Im not 100% sure what i did but im guessing it was the joke cause I literally had not said anything else which could have hurt someones feelings up until then. I felt like shit for the rest of the evening as i felt as though i ruined mias day because of it. I dont know wether I should talk to mia or the friend or keep it to myself but honestly the main thing i want to know is AITA for making the joke. Also sorry for the bad grammar i so tired.",AITA for making someone cry,NAH
110aipc,"My girlfriend (30) and I (23 f) have just moved about 2 and a half hours away from where we met each other and our family and friends reside. We started dating about 6 months ago and moved in obviously a bit early. Everything is pretty great and we have been settling in fine but I have noticed a pattern of her clinging on to people from her past or getting attached too quickly to people. (I know haha i shouldve fckn knew, it has only been 6 months but what the fuck)(For example she has an ex wife (they have no kids together) who she refuses to stop talking to becuase she “doesn’t think it needs all of that” and doesn’t want to be spiteful, whatever tf that means.)Anyways, she has a friend I’ll call T. She just became close to T on a group snapchat and they decided to talk to each other one on one on outside of the chat for a few months without me knowing.Me and T actually dated briefly 6 months ago and it ended with me ghosting her for my current partner. We never talked after making out and planning on seeing each other the following weekend. That date never happened because my current partner intercepted.Again T watches my snapchat story all of the time, but has never interacted with me since then..When I found out a month ago I wasnt greatly enthused that my partner was talking to her, but its weird and controlling to tell your partner who they can and can’t be friends with. Fast forward and we’re having a superbowl party tomorrow. I have asked my partner 4 times the guest list for this party and T has NEVER came up. Today we’re talking about who’s showing up tonight to stay the night into superbowl day and she mentions T’s name. I absolutely lose my shit and tell her to cancel on her. I’m uncomfortable and I don’t want someone I barely know in my space. honestly we both BARELY know her as my partner has never even met her in real life.T is currently in my living room and I’m having a mental breakdown from my GAD. Why didn’t my partner just tell me? Why did she lie for 6 weeks of planning? She still can’t explain to me what the point of her coming is. I’m tired of having to explain to my partner why things like this and her ex wife make me uncomfortable.Edit: I know the act of ghosting T was shitty, it was not my best day at all.for more context my partner and her ex wife split back in 2017, her ex wife initiated the divorce by physically leaving her and saying she didn’t love her like that anymore. My partner has remained her friend",AITA for asking my gf to disinvite a friend from our housewarming?,ESH
1109qt4,"*****Editing to add that my advice to leave him is NOT unsolicited. I DO listen to her, I DO remind her that she is loved. She usually asks for my opinion/advice, I just don’t know what else to say anymore besides “leave him”. I(26f) feel like an asshole because this has been a never ending cycle and I’m starting to wonder if this is my fault. Every couple of months or so, my best friend(Of 22 years), let’s call her Ana(27f) will call me literally bawling her eyes out about something her boyfriend of 7 years did(Let’s call him Bob, 28m). And I mean bawling. So here’s the cycle; 1. she calls me crying because he’s really mean to her 2. I tell her she needs to leave him 3. she agrees and starts the process 4. Bob apologizes and she forgives him 5. She doesn’t talk to me for several weeks and tells him that I told her to leave him. Things Bob has done: 3 examples1. Called off their wedding multiple times because he doesn’t “believe in marriage” even though she’s always talked about getting married. Her whole life. It’s one of the first things they ever talked about. He told her several times leading up to the wedding that he just didn’t want to marry her. On their actual wedding day, he left her at the alter. 2. He told her that he hopes she miscarries even though they were purposefully trying to have a baby, in which he said he WANTED. 3. Anytime she goes out and has drinks with me he makes fun of her and calls her an alcoholic (even though she most definitely is not, it happens maybe once a month)The list goes on but I think these are some good examples. Why I may be the asshole: I strongly believe that they both want very different things for their lives and I don’t want her to have wasted so much time with someone who couldn’t meet her expectations, I always tell her this. I always tell her she deserves better, but MAYBE that just isn’t my place to say. Maybe I should just be more supportive and encourage her to work it out with him.",AITA for telling my best friend she needs to leave her boyfriend,NTA
110fr3x,"My roommate was off from work one day last week and had been with my dog at home. She wasn’t asked to take care of the dog or watch him at all, they were both just there. I get home and she proudly states that she fed him a chicken bone. I asked some questions and she said he ate it in little pieces, then by my reaction she realized it was bad.She googled it and got worried that he could die. I kept my cool, but walked into the other room and saw he had already diarrhea’d in two spots on the rug that my roommate was completely unaware of. Since I knew she was already stressed I just cleaned it myself and it somehow didn’t trigger her curiosity that I got the bissell propet cleaner out and randomly started spot cleaning…The next day she and my other roommate were both home so tag-teamed taking him outside. (He wasn’t throwing up at all but had bad shits) That night she expressed she was concerned and would pay the vet bill if I had to take him. I did my best to avoid taking him though and just called the vet a few times for advice on what to monitor. Day after that roommate who gave him the bone had work so she was gone and I ended up working from home half day because the dog was needing to go outside every hour. Day after that I asked her to stay home since her job is more flexible than mine. She agreed but in the afternoon texted that she had a cold and needed to lay down so was putting the dog in his crate, where he ended up for three hours. This kind of made me mad because when I got home he went twice in 15 mins so clearly he had to go, and since she caused the issue she could have been more helpful. On day 4 I decided to take him to the vet because I had been woken up more than 4 times per night taking him outside and he had very soft and liquid stool at that point for 4 days. Ended up getting him X-rays and medicine which came to $450. When she texted me to ask about it I told her the bill and she immediately asked to only pay half because she had only expected it to be $300…in my eyes he could have needed surgery and that would have been thousands so if she said she would pay, the $450 was actually not that bad compared to what it could have been. She ended up sending over the money but I may give her half back since it is my dog and part of the responsibility of a dog is paying vet bills. But at the same time she gave my dog something without googling it to find out he could die…she didn’t grow up with dogs though so idk if she just really thought it was a treat for him. WIBTA if I don’t send money back?",WIBTA if I let my roommate pay my dog’s vet bill when she fed him a chicken bone?,NTA
110fcx7,"Throwaway So I (28f) work as a lead generation specialist and since i am one of the oldest employees here, i also manage the office. My co-worker, let's call her Max (22f) is the second oldest employee. She works as our in-house website and graphic designer. She's the only designer we had until a couple months ago when we hired a design intern who she has been training. Max and I used to work together at our previous company as well, and I'm the one who referred her for the job. We are not friends outside the office but are usually on good terms. She is great at what she does, and our boss absolutely loves her and her work. But due to this I feel she gets a lot of special treatment and gets away with tantrums. She would always be on her phone watching movies or cartoon while working and when i tried to say something she would just say ""i complete my work before the deadline so that's all that should matter"" which is so unprofessional, so i made sure she always say in a seat right apposite from me so that i could keep an eye on her. She would always ask me to shift her to the corner and give shitty excuses like ""i can't sit in front of the window, the glare on the PC makes it difficult to work"" or ""my seat is far away from my locker""A week ago she approached our boss and told him i was singling her out for some reason and treating her like a child which was absolutely not true. So i told him about her excessive phone usage. When he told her that this will be investigated she threatened to quit so he just told her to sit wherever she likes. Pure tantrum like child. Now, me and her live in the same direction and take the same subway. A couple days ago, she fell sick, took a sick leave, came next day and was still sick, while going back i saw her eating some junk food in the train, which was weird, if she was sick, she shouldn't be eating outside food but ignored her. Next day she came back sicker, her voice barely audible, sneezing, coughing. One of the other co-workers asked her what happened and she said she fell even sicker. So i said ""then you shouldn't be stuffing your face with junk food if you were sick"" and we laughed. Everyone did. She laughed as well. It was clearly a joke. But then next day i get an email from HR and our boss saying i am being investigated for creating a hostile work environment and bullying a coworker.I knew it was her so i confronted her and she just walked away and an hour later i got a direct message from my boss that I was being suspended until further notice. I don't think this was fair. If she felt bad about it, she could have told me and i would have apologized. My mother says it's my fault as i should have minded my own business but we always makes jokes like this. So, aita?",AITA for embarrassing my co-worker?,YTA
10zu9ok,"I’m (20sF) moved to Mexico from Texas to be closer to family two years ago.  I got a job at an office, where I made my first friend here, Luz (20sF).  Luz and I were the youngest at work and we bonded over our shared love of sports, some fandoms, and because we both love Tom Hiddleston.For Christmas last year, Lupe made me a Ton Hiddleston calendar for my cubicle.  My boyfriend, Raul (20sM) hates the calendar.  We’ve been dating for about a year.  I tell him that I like him for his personality and because he’s funny.  Admittedly, he wasn’t my type physically (I like tall and thin guys, but have dated larger dudes back in Texas.  Raul is short and stocky, like beefy).  He says that it’s not okay for me to have this calendar up when I’m already in a relationship.  I disagree, it’s no different from the bikini model pinups his workplace (auto body shop) has on the workshop walls.  I don’t like them, but I’m not going to tell Raul to take them down since it’s his works culture.  He’s still pissed that I won’t take down the calendar.  My family is split, with most saying that Raul needs a thicker skin if he feels threatened by Loki.  And the others, mostly the older, more conservative family members saying that as a woman in a committed relationship, I shouldn’t have pictures of another guy up where I see it everyday.  AITA?  For now, Tom’s still at the office but I don’t want to take him down.",AITA for not taking down my work calendar? Boyfriend hates it.,NTA
1108dkv,"My fiancé (30M) and I (28F)  got engaged 2 years ago and decided that we wanted to elope in France. It’s a special place for us (we both studied abroad there and have special memories together in the town we decided to elope to) and we were really excited to tell our families about our decision. My family was supportive but his threw a fit about not being included and basically attacked me for “forcing” my fiancé to exclude his family from his wedding. Long story short we decided to invite our families to come with us if they wanted to, and to extend the invite to our closest friends. As we began planning we started to invite more and more people that are close to us and now have a guest list of 50 people for what originally started as an elopement and is now a destination wedding.We are getting closer to our wedding date and my fiancé’s family has been the major stressor in wedding planning. I asked SIL to be a bridesmaid bc I felt obligated but she has made this experience miserable. Any time I make a decision she tells me I’m controlling and overbearing. When I chose bridesmaid dresses she told me she didn’t like what I chose and I need to trust her to pick out her own dress. She is still refusing to purchase a bridesmaid dress. When I made a comment about our wedding being traditional (when discussing speeches, parent dances, etc) she cut in and said “traditionally brides don’t require their guests to fly to Europe to watch them get married in a 15 minute ceremony.” She’s expressed in a drunken state that she was jealous of our wedding, but soberly she has given me such a hard time. My MIL keeps making comments about how I am being extra and have high expectations for getting married in France. She has said on multiple occasions that she wanted to go to Europe for the first time on a romantic trip with her husband, and not to “lose her son.” Tonight at family dinner my MIL and SIL told me that they think it was really rude of me to plan a wedding so far away and that I should have considered my “future husband’s family’s feelings” when planning the wedding. The only reason ANYONE was invited to our “elopement” was because they threw a fit when we decided we wanted to elope just the two of us. I feel like my fiancé and I made a compromise to keep the peace and invited them to come, but I don’t feel like I’m the asshole for keeping our plans to have our wedding in such a special place for us. AITAFor context: my fiancé’s family is very well-off and can absolutely afford to go on this trip. I don’t believe that we are putting them in a bad financial situation; both of his parents are doctors and so is SIL’s husband. Wedding is 3 months away, they’ve known about the wedding for 2 years and had that time to save up as well.*Edit* I should have included this but my fiancé is insanely supportive of me and always stands up to his family when they make negative comments. These comments are usually made when he isn’t around to hear them. My fiancé and I are so in love and I don’t have a bad thing to say about him. Also, the wedding is 3 months away so we can’t cancel, we’ve paid for the majority of it and our friends have purchased flights, hotels, etc.",AITA for inviting my fiancé’s family to our wedding?,NTA
10zz032,"I (32f) am one of 8 children, my youngest sibling, my sister (21f) is getting married to her fiance (21m) on Valentine’s Day. My sister is having a destination wedding and we arrived at the hotel yesterday. Our parents are insanely wealthy through a number of factors like inheritance and business, so they have covered all the fees. It’s a bit extravagant, but I am happy for my sister and we are very close.My sister and I are very close, my husband (32m) and I stayed local for college and my sister had known my kids all of her life. Our oldest kid, our daughter (13f) is transgender. She’s been saying she was a girl for as long as we could remember and has presented that way since before Kindergarten. She also has a boyfriend (13m), her boyfriend is cisgender and a very athletic, masculine boy who does all sorts of sports. He also loves going to the gym and has even started going with our daughter. The boy is a classmate of hers who asked her out over the summer and they have been dating ever since. Before this, my daughter’s only friends were some fellow queer kids, the area we live in isn’t super conservative but our daughter has always been more quiet too. Her little friend group has had a lot of drama over the past few months and now the only people she has are her bf and his friends. My sister has asked my daughter to be a bridesmaid/”junior bridesmaid” and my daughter’s bf has helped her through all of this, and my sister asked if he could join the services and we were able to set stuff up between his parents.This morning, everyone got up for breakfast at the time we had set and we all went down to the lobby for the complimentary breakfast. A lot of my family who don’t live near us haven’t seen our daughter’s bf yet. As we mentioned, our daughter’s bf is very athletic, and with all of his exercising, even though he eats a lot, he is still fairly skinny, he is slightly underweight but not to the point of any major health problems. While we were at dining, one of my sisters (34f) started making some “jokes” about how he should “eat a burger” and talking about how much he was eating in front of everyone, I told her to stop multiple times but she wouldn’t.My sister bullied some girls in high school for their looks, to the point of making them cry and apologized to the girls at one point and has talked about how she wants to “put that in the past”. I was getting frustrated with her behavior and eventually said that she never changed from high school. Her kids (15m, 12f and 8m) were listening and I got some questions, so I decided to tell them what I meant. After that, it was awkward and after finishing, we went on our planned events for the day. We just got back to the hotel and are waiting for dinner. We have a family group chat for the adults in the family and some are saying I should apologize to her because I “embarrassed her in front of the kids”. AITA?",AITA for bringing up my sister's past bullying in front of her kids?,NTA
1106axc,"We got in a car accident today and my car is totaled. Ot was 100% my husbands fault. It was a fully paid off Nissan Rogue that was in good condition and should have lasted a few more years. But it is 9 years old and had over 100,000 miles on it so we will probably only get $4-5000 for it from the insurance, if that.  So I am upset. I am a pet sitter and go to people's houses for work and need to have a reliable vehicle. But when I show emotion (mind you it happened today) he gets mad at me saying I already feel bad, you don't need to make it worse. So AITA for being upset about losing my reliable car and either taking on debt I can't afford to get a new one or ending up with something much less reliable?",AITA for being upswt when my husband totaled my car?,NTA
10zx1wd,"first of all please no judging here, i am looking for genuine take on my stance in a situation i am really unsure about. Firstly, i am 19 and my bf is 21. we’ve been together for almost 3 years i’ve been living with him for over a year, we have a great and loving relationship. Yes, we do live with his parents since we are both still young and it would be irresponsible to try and get our own place right now. He does split the bills equally with his mom seeing as his dad no longer works. I am 4mo pregnant with our first child, we are both excited and are moving houses pretty soon because the landlord is screwing us over here. Me and my bf wanted the master bedroom at the new house for space for our baby, the room we have now is extremely small and couldnt even fit a crib so we wanted all the space we can get. His parents immediately said no for the reason that room comes with it’s own restroom and is connected to the laundromat and they don’t wanna be “walking in and out to do laundry” which we said we have no problem with. Then after that it changed to they want their own restroom and this and that, which idc about the restroom. they could put a lock on it for all i care and deem it theirs. I just wanted the room for our child, we both did. Now the room we are getting is still about a good size bigger but i’m still a little upset about it. My boyfriend even offered to pay more rent for the master, they said no and they wont even let him pay less rent for the smaller room on top of that his brother who sells dr*gs out of the house pays no bills at all. We agreed if they didnt wanna give us the room then we will move in with my mom. My mom is opening her doors to us, she has a great and healthy environment, we will also save money on rent. We told his family this and they said “fine if you wanna leave then leave, we’ll just get an apartment.” though i think they thought we were bluffing. his family is extremely toxic and dysfunctional they always have been. growing up in a healthy environment and moving in with him and his family, it’s like hell and still is after 1 year but i love him to death. anyways his mom called him the other day talking about money and bills and he kinda got into it with her because he gave her some of the last of his money for the light bill while his brother has all this money and pays nothing and he threatened leaving and she said “if you leave, what am i gonna do” anyways just goes to show.,it’s not even about the master Br anymore but the environment. we decided not to raise our child in a environment like this .EDIT; Okay i understand my part in being the AH i think, it seems a lot of y’all think of me as entitled or selfish when that’s not the case. I never felt entitled to the bedroom we just questioned if we could possibly have it, they said why we couldn’t, we offered a solution they still said no and that was that. we didn’t argue on it anymore because yes they are the parents we understand that. now to everybody saying we’re unfit to be parents, that’s just stupid. we are doing good financially we are able to take care of ourselves and a baby we have supportive homes. i don’t think it’s a requirement for us to have our own home before having a baby. that’s not a reality for A LOT of young parents. either way this child will be loved, will have a roof of their head and will be taken care of. as long as they have a healthy home and healthy family that’s all that matters to me. not us living with my mom or his mom because that’s just a temporary solution and a home of our own will come in due time trust me. it’s just not smart right now financially but thanks for everybody’s input tho, i respect everybody’s opinions and i understand them. just no bashing at the least.. we are doing the best we can, the child is being born either way we are very happy and ready. no we may not have a home of our own but we have all the important things and that’s  all we need right now.",AITA for wanting the master bedroom over my bfs parents,YTA
1105awx,For context I live in India and work as a free lance Image and Video editor mostly for foreign clientele.So basically one of my elder brother’s closest mates let’s call him X was getting married and he asked me to edit some of his wedding and pre-wedding pics for him. He even offered to pay me which I refused since I also knew him for a long time and offered to do it for free.By the time the pre-wedding photos and videos came to me I had less than 24 hours to edit them before delivery as they needed it before the reception ceremony.Mind you I had other work at hand but still however managed to edit all of the files to whatever little specifications they had provided earlier and even sent them some samples so as to get an opinion if everything was to their liking.X even went through a few of the files and replied that everything looked okay and to edit the rest of the files ‘as per my liking’. I sent the rest of the files to them and went about my day as usual.On the day of the reception ceremony I got a message from X saying that I needed to re-edit nearly all of the video files I sent them and sent me a long list of specific details as to what they needed.It was like an hour long worth of un-edited videos that needed to be re-edited from the scratch and be delivered within a few hours.I also had other projects I needed to submit within that time frame.So I explained to X quite rationally that it was near impossible to be done and I had other work to do at the same time so I couldn’t help him.He then called me and quiet angrily stated that I should be “professional” about my work and shouldn’t leave my clients hanging last minute like this and demanded that I get to editing his videos right away. I explained to him that I had sent him a few samples of what he was to expect and he gave a green flag on those and told me to edit the rest as I see fit.He then began a long rant on how irresponsible I was and how he shouldn’t have trusted me in the first place and how I made him look bad in front of his wife and in-laws.He even went on to the extent where he called me a ‘shame’ to my family name at which point I hung up on him and blocked his number.Later in the evening I got a call from my brother asking me if I could still edit at least some of the videos for his friend.I explained to him what happened in detail and how X had behaved with me.Despite hearing all this he said it was my fault and said that I should apologise to X for hanging up on him and not receiving his calls. I told him that it was simply not gonna happen to which he said that “I” had strained their friendship and made him embarrassed in front of his friends and how I was behaving arrogantly regarding a petty matter and blamed the entire fiasco on me.At this point I lashed out on him and called him and his buddy entitled and hung up.I really don’t know how to feel regarding this and am now feeling guilty as I believe I could have at least avoided the confrontation with my brother.AITA?,AITA for refusing to re-edit my brother’s friend’s pre-wedding photos at the last minute?,NTA
10zxnof,"Writing from my phone, so sorry if the format is wrong. Also, English is not my first language.So, for a bit of context: I'm(24m) estranged from my family, have been since I turned 18. We talk maybe once a year, and that's it. I'm completely independent from them, and have now my own ""chosen"" family. Considering that, my family is rich, and I'm set to inherit everything when my parents die (which won't happen for a very long time, they're healthy and young).Now, to the story. My best friend(24m), whom I consider my brother, is from a different nationality than me, and he travels around the world pretty much all the time. Lately, he wants to settle down in my country. Because he's a foreigner, and doesn't have a job here, he could only stay 90 days (tourist visa) and then would have to leave. Only ""easy"" way for him to stay, is to get married to a national. So, I offered to get married: he could stay as long as he wanted, and I get to say that I married my best friend. Sounds like a great anecdote to me. Also, we only need to stay married for three years until he can get citizenship through naturalization, and then we can get divorced and to each their own. We have our marriage appointment in two weeks, everything is going forward.Thing is, my family found out about it, and now I have all of them ganging up on me. Half of my family thinks I'm marrying for love and chose to not invite them, so they're acting offended. Other half thinks I'm doing something stupid and giving my inheritance away (as if it made a difference to them).I'm still getting married, I don't care what they say. But they are making me think I'm doing something stupid. Is this that bad?Edit: adding this because I've seen it many times. I come from a country where immigration is received with open arms. There's no such thing as immigration fraud (I've checked with a lawyer), and you don't need to prove romantic feelings for getting married. How can you say something is illegal when you don't even know what country we're talking about people? Also, because I forgot to add, I do have a prenup.",AITA for getting married?,NTA
110fhas,"My (16F) mom (42F) was hosting a dinner party with her friends. Her friends have three kids that my brother (18M) and I have known since we were little. For the sake of this story we'll call them Amy (16F), Butch (18M), and Vincent (early/mid 20s? M).My brother had the idea of going to the gas station for snacks. I, Amy, and Butch agreed to go since we had nothing else to do, but Vincent decided to stay behind since he was talking with my mom's friends about his job.My house has a double garage, and so a fairly big driveway. In our driveway there were 3 cars parked; to the right side of the driveway was Amy's mom's car, behind it was Vincent's car, and to the left of Amy's mom's car is my brother's car. We all got into my brother's car, and as he was pulling out he hit Vincent's car. My brother scraped his back panel up pretty badly. I don't know much about cars, but it looked like the scratches went deep and is expensive to fix. Once he backed out of the driveway, he drove us to the gas station without saying anything else about what just happened. Amy and Butch stayed silent, as did I. I wasn't sure what was going through his head, so I didn't say anything and gave him time to clear his thoughts.After we got the snacks and we get home, I asked my brother if he's going to say anything. He told me no, and that if Vincent does notice it he'll probably figure out it was him and then he'll admit to it and pay him back. I knew this sounded wrong, but I wasn't sure what to say in the moment. Once we got inside, my brother quickly excused himself to bed (it was 11 PM) and about 10 minutes after everyone left. Vincent didn't come back inside to ask about the scratches, so I'm guessing he didn't see them since it was dark outside.This all happened last night, and it's only a matter of time before Vincent notices the scratches. The way I see it, there are two outcomes when he notices the scratches: 1. The outcome my brother described, or 2. Vincent doesn't realize it was my brother and pays to fix the scratches out of his own money.If it's the first option, no problem, my brother gets shit for not telling him but he pays him back. If it's the ladder option, that's what I'm worried about. If he doesn't realize it was my brother who did it, my brother goes off scot-free. So far, I don't know if Amy or Butch have any plans to say anything. I want to say something, but I don't have Vincent's phone number to tell him, so the only way I can think of getting to him is through my mom. I can already imagine the hellfire my mom is going to bring down on my brother if I say something, plus he'll know right away it was me who said something.Our relationship is already strained as it is, if he we're to find out I said something that could be the nail in the coffin. Not only that, I don't know if this is my place to get involved. I didn't hit anyone or get hit, so I don't know if I should say something or let this happen like my brother wants it to.WIBTA?",WIBTA for telling my mom my brother scraped someone's car?,NTA
1109sbr,"Context, I 27M have had a friend 27M since college and we occasionally see each other once or twice a year. We’re friends who keep in touch but we don’t even see each other very often. His birthday was this week and he had a reservation for a hotpot restaurant in a location that was far from me. A month before it I agreed to go. However, I was unfamiliar with the area it was in or if the subway was working. Fast forward to the day of, I leave my house on good time. I am on the train and the commute has exceeded 2 hours, and after transferring to multiple subways and subway stations, I am almost there. However, the last train I had to take was under construction. I knew it was a problem since the platform was flooded with people. I saw one train go by because the cars were full to the brim. People could not even squeeze in and had to wait for the next train. 10 minutes pass, by this time I am exhausted from the previous parts of the commute and feel like my patience is running thin. The next train comes, it is again full. Now to give you background, during my college days I have done plenty of long commutes, so much so that I told myself that when I got older, that if it was avoidable, I would not withstand a long commute with an unpleasant environment. While on the platform, I thought about how the commute home would be worse and I was already exhausted physically and mentally. So I made a judgement call, I decided to cancel. I sent my friend a pic of me on the platform and explained that the train was under construction and that I simply could not make it due to the circumstances, so at least he knew I tried. Big mistake.Everything seemed fine until 6 hours later when I got a text from him complaining on me cancelling, stating that he lost his deposit for the reservation because a couple people didn’t show (he had invited around 15 people, so it wasn’t just me). We then got into an argument because again, I am just one person and I decided to not go due to the circumstances. He then proceeded to mock my reasoning, call me a prima donna and proceeded to state the “favors” he has done for me. This was a shock because I don’t understand why he would stoop so low but I then stated the times I accommodated him and that people have canceled on me before but I never complained (guess im built differently). Anyway, the conversation went nowhere.We’re probably not going to be friends anymore since I can’t believe he was counting favors. He even mentioned something from years ago that was totally irrelevant to the situation. Sure, I couldn’t make it but there was a better way to express frustration imo. Anyway, I don’t think it’s salvageable. Am I the asshole?Edit: A deposit of any kind was never mentioned prior to the event. Again, he invited a bunch of people. I am only one person and the amount of the deposit was high. I won’t offer reimbursement because I am only one person and apparently other people couldn’t make it either. Plus, like I said he didn’t inform me of a deposit for any reservations. I also stated he should have booked a more accessible venue.",AITA for not showing up to my friend’s birthday dinner?,NTA
10zzewf,"I (28M) am currently cohabitating with my ex GF/ BM (29). The breakup wasn’t terrible per se and I’ve been feeling relaxed because I am dealing wit less of her. She broke so she could date her new guy, it hurt in terms of pride not the softer emotions. After a month I’m feeling spiritually free, We are still cordial because rent is too damn high. Moving would entail a big financial move which I can’t afford. We still do small favors like getting small snack for each other while running errands,  minus any emotional labor. Like this morning she offered her bed because I got rid of mine because it ripped and it has fiber glass inside. when I woke up she told me her guy was coming over and he was going to use the PlayStation 4. I said “he better use a rubix cube while he waits” she said “he’s using it, I have games on there too” . -well good thing you have the disc version    •Emotionally I felt like “ wtf, man’s is literally going to show up and make me single then use my PlayStation?” She kinda laughed it off (“don’t be like that”) and leaves to pick him up. I put away our controllers (my daughter’s and I) and leave her controllerI go lay back downShe arrives and then *Beep*Then she comes to me asking what setting for input. Why it isn’t showing? PS4 sometimes does this but I shrug. Simply say i won’t help because I told her it was a no“we’ll get out of my bed if you’re going to throw a tantrum”- That’s perfectly fine *get up and go to my pallet because I’m still tired from night shift *I look over at him and say “that PlayStation is my my property, I don’t feel my baby momma has a right to lend it out” (he has like 3 or 2 BM so I’m hoping he understands) So here I am wonder if I was being petty or if I should listen to myself",AITA for not letting my ex GF’s boyfriend use my PS4.,NTA
1105cr9,"Background info: my BIL (37M) - my husband’s brother - is single and childless. He has a lot of health issues meaning his sleep pattern is out of whack and he often takes medication that makes him fuzzy. He doesn’t get out much, doesn’t have a job or a social life. His only experience with children is with our kids (9 and 6).He came around on the weekend wanting to go to the park with my kids. They were playing down the road at a friend’s house so he went there to offer to go to the park. Three of my friend’s kids and two other kids who were also playing there all wanted to go too - both other families are particularly lenient about this kind of thing and they were ok with it. And he said yes. So now he has 7 kids from three families aged between 5 and 10 (5, 6, 6, 6, 9, 9, 10), two of whom he’s never even met before this moment. They’re riding scooters to the park - about a 10 minute walk.When we found out, we went too because we weren’t comfortable. I told him I thought it was stupid and irresponsible. I asked him how he felt he would manage if there had been an emergency: if he lost track of a child, someone gets badly hurt or some other medical emergency. He said he’d call emergency services. I asked how he’d manage supervision of the other 6, who might be frightened or far ahead. I explained that it’s a big responsibility taking on other people’s kids and if something went wrong he would be held responsible. He didn’t understand at all, thought he’d be fine in an emergency despite never having been in that kind of situation. He was offended that I didn’t think he could manage. I said I would struggle in that situation and I would be nervous about taking it on. He basically disagreed with everything I said. So AITA for raising my concerns?",AITA for telling my brother in law he shouldn’t take 7 kids out on his own?,NTA
110dz43,I (18f) got my drivers permit Friday. I had drove to my grandma’s house after I passed the test and she was so happy and proud of me. She made a whole post on Facebook about it and was bragging to my aunts about it. I have an aunt (19f) let’s call her Liv and she was acting excited about it on the phone so I didn’t think anything was wrong. Well Liv lives with my grandma and my grandma was saying how Liv just kept saying how she’s the family disappointment and how she’ll never be anything and just sulking around the house. For background when we were younger Liv always tried to make everything a competition and would get jealous and mad when anybody would give/buy me things. I thought we had grown out of that by now. I don’t think this is really necessary to put in here but just in case Liv and her siblings are my step aunts/uncle. Everyone in my family views them as blood related since they’ve been in the family 16 years. I just don’t know if I’m the asshole for not waiting for her to get her drivers permit first but she’s hasn’t been trying to take the test or study. So am I the asshole?,AITA for getting my drivers permit first?,NTA
1102430,"I (22F) and my baby sister (let's call her Sam, 15F) have always been close. Because we had such an age gap, we never had the stereotypical sibling squabbles, and even when I went away for university, we would regularly FaceTime and she would visit me at college sometimes. She's a really good kid -- super kind and so intelligent and funny.A year ago, right after I graduated, our parents both passed away in a very unexpected accident and I adopted her -- our grandparents live in India and both our parents were only children, so there were no aunts or uncles, but regardless of the situation, I think (hope?) I would've made the same decision.I moved back home, luckily in a major metro area where the company I'd just started working at had a HQ, and life continued. Very luckily, our parents left sizable trust funds, which meant that our lifestyle didn't have to change -- Sam could still continue going to the small private school that she's been going to since she was in Kindergarten and college would be paid in full off the dividends alone. Basically, we were in an ideal terrible situation.Things since then have been going OK all things since considered. We continue to be in therapy. Sam has adjusted relatively well to the changes. The issue is I have always been worried about/for her and have always tried to help her out but ever since the accident, I worry that I am going to be the reason she messes up (I have talked extensively about this in therapy lol). Our parents were wonderful and I like to think I've turned out well and I want Sam too, also. She is so smart and she deserves the world, and I don't want to be reason she doesn't get that. In a bid to avoid that, I think I've become more strict than even my parents, even though Sam is a good kid. She gets great grades, is taking difficult courses, and is very involved at school and in ECs.The school she goes to (I went there also, K-12) is a high pressure environment. It has incredible college outcomes, but the kids do so muchand because of that, when they relax, it can get really wild. I know this firsthand, and so did my parents, and they tacitly allowed this, figuring I wouldn't be as wild if it was allowed.Anyways, when she asked me if she could go to one such party month ago, I outrightly refused. Since then, I feel like our relationship has deteriorated. I worry I am keeping her from enjoying with her friends, but I also don't want her to ruin her life (and have it be because of me). It came to a point where I caught her sneaking out of our apartment a few days ago and we ended up having a screaming match where she accused me of being a ""controlling bitch"". I am worried she's right.I want to be friends with my sister again. But I am also worried that something bad will happen. I'm not sure what to do and I'm worried I'm going to lose her over this issue, something so small compared to everything else. Should I just start letting her go to parties -- which my parents did allow for me?",AITA for not letting my baby sister (15F) go to a party?,YTA
110f65u,"I'm (25F) still pregnant with our first child and my fiancé (26M) and FBIL (23M) are planning to go to their cousin's wedding abroad and our baby would be only 4 weeks old by then (if the baby decides to arrive on time). I have no problem with this, only the fact that they are planning to make the trip so long. If the baby would be older, then we would be joining them. There are only 1-2 direct flights in a week from our country to the destination country, but there are many flights with layovers. A layover would increase the travel time by 1-2 hours. So making the trip shorter would mean choosing flights with layover. In my opinion, travel day + wedding day + travel day aka tuesday-thursday (wedding is on wednesday) would be fine. FBIL and now even FMIL are saying it's too short and 6 days (mon-sat) would be better option.. and my fiancé has not yet taken a stand on the whole matter. I feel that his priorities are not the same as mine. I am new to being a mom and scared to be alone so long. I'm also afraid of getting postpartum depression, given my past with mental health. Am I just a nervous new mom and making a big deal out of it or what do you guys think?(English is not my first language, sorry for any typos)",AITA for wanting my fiancé to not go 6 day trip and leave me alone with a newborn baby?,NTA
10zuxwx,"So me and my neighbor have been best friends for almost three years. I watch his cat all the time. When he’s out, he tells me all I have to do is spend time with her and make sure she’s safe but I go above and beyond cause that’s my best friend. Like when his cat had an ear infection, I gave it medication and cleaned all the poop and vomit it left in his apartment even though I didn’t have to.This time, it was his turn to watch my new kitten. I wanted to hang with family for two weeks for my bday, but my mom is allergic so I had to leave my cat. He said sure! During the trip he sent photos here and there and everything seemed fine. When I got home… I wish I could post the video. I don’t know what knocked me out first, the look or the smell. My apartment was steaming hot and smelled AWFUL, the floor was covered in ripped toilet paper, and my cats litter box was horrendous. The litter was so caked and hard with cat piss, my cat could only poop on top of and around it. Because the poop sat on top of the litter, there was nothing to cover the smell, so the shit and piss just baked in my hot ass apartment for days. My cat smelled awful when, usually, he smells like his litter. He also seemed traumatized because when I walked in, he hid for three hours.I messaged my friend asking what the hell was going on. He justified the litter box by saying that’s what he does with his cat. He just waits until his cat yells at him or poops on the floor to change her litter box. He said the apartment smelled fine to him and to “literally just open a window” and that he turned my fan off because he didn’t want the cat to get cold. I was shocked. The litter box I saw verged on neglect. I thought, “Maybe the cat did all this when he left” and I sent him a video of my place and simply asked, “Did my room look like this when you left?”. He immediately got defensive and wanted to know where his thank you was for keeping my cat alive and reminded me that he always gave me a thank you gift after he came back. He said it sounded like I expected him to clean my house when all he agreed to was keeping my cat safe. Mind you, he usually leaves for 2-3 days at a time but I left for two weeks, so of course a little more work would be involved. I told him I never expected him to clean anything but just to let me know that my place was a mess before I arrived so I could have it cleaned or do something about it. He said he cleaned a little everyday but that nothing stays clean around my kitten, that he was going through a million things at the time, that I should basically be grateful that my cat is alive, that my place was never the “paragon of cleanliness” I think it is, and that I was being petty and unnecessary. I spent that night cleaning toilet paper and poop out my bathroom, shower, and bedroom. He never once apologized for anything. Would I be an asshole for ending a friendship off this?TL;DR: Had my best friend watch my cat for two weeks and came back to my apartment smelling/covered in cat poop. When I asked him about it, he wanted to know where his thank you was.",AITA for telling my best friend to fuck off after letting them cat sit for two weeks and coming home to my room covered in shit and toilet paper,NTA
110dlzl,"So my friend has this annoying habit of playing psychologist and psychoanalysing other people. At first, I just accepted it and thought it was a fun quirk of theirs, but then it got old and annoying pretty quickly. I had pulled them up on it twice before, and they denied they were playing psychologist then later accused me of doing it (when I asked them how they were feeling after a certain event at work). Some things happened and we lost touch for a bit and part of that was me intentionally distancing myself as they had continued to do it, amongst other things. I also reflected and noticed that at the start of our relationship, this tendency of theirs led me to disclose some traumatic shit (which I know is my fault but it felt like I was pressured to be vulnerable when I wasn’t ready). Their response at the time was to also ask more invasive questions about it. Anyway, we were supposed to meet and I decided I would talk to them about it. I sent an initial message asking if they still wanted the conversation face to face or over the phone. They demanded to do it over message. So I wrote out this long message regarding above, trying to acknowledge where I went wrong too and of course that I still value them as a friend. They called me a bitch, told me to get over it, and said that I had remembered everything incorrectly. We had some back and forth and I’ve apologised for how my method of confrontation wasn’t the best (ie just bringing it up - but also wasn’t sure when else or how to?). I decided to cut off the friendship for how they reacted, and they still maintain that I attacked them suddenly and that I was being unfair for how I disliked their reaction and are now saying it’s my fault that the relationship is in shambles because there was nothing wrong with it in the first place. I’m trying to be better at confronting people as things happen, but it’s honestly really difficult for me as I grew up in an abusive home and have difficulty identifying what’s problematic in the first place until I really think on the event. TL;DR AITA for confronting a friend over something that’s been happening since the beginning of our friendship with little context?",AITA for confronting my (20s F) friend (30s NB) about something they have been doing since the start of our friendship?,NTA
110bfjq,"I will keep this short and to the point.He always does this, change his travel plans without talking with me and expects me to cater to his plan change. He is currently in NV and was supposed to get back Monday night. I arranged for my friend to drive me there because I’m not a confident night driver, especially going to the airport.He totally changed his plans and decided to take the red eye and will arrive at 9:30am. I would be at work and that would mean I would have to take an really early lunch and go and pick get him. We live about 10 minutes away from the airport, so he can easily Uber. I mentioned he does this often, I mean he makes his travel plans without considering me and my comfort level. Like, the timing would be super late at night (I’m still a new driver and tend to avoid night after as I don’t see very well. or the far drop off/pickup locations ( pick an airport that is 45mins away vs. 10 minutes. We fight about these things before and he would be all immature and say he will never ask me next time he travels. I told him that’s not the solution, the solution is to just consider me in your travel arrangements if you expect me to be involved. His expectation is another problem though, he thinks just because we we together, I should be doing these things for him and I should support him even if I don’t agree with what he says. So, should I just roll my eyes and just pick him up?",WIBTAH if I don’t pick up my bf from the airport?,NTA
1101xiy,Recently this has been on my mind so let’s make the story clear:TLDR at the bottom:Recently me a Chinese person was getting mocked by an autistic kid named let’s call him John. John was being quite annoying over the last 2 months he’s in my classes and a few weeks ago I was told he was being racist about me by a few of my friends apparently he called my stuff I really don’t feel comfortable typing. His had no punishments for the stuff he does because he’s autistic and the teachers won’t do anything about it tried before. I just got he is just growing no he’s full well of what he is doing. Because he is bragging all the time about it.I’ve tried to stay clam but one day I’ve finally lost it.He was just being annoying as per usual during lunch and I lost it the built up rage was too much. I said Shut the Fuck Up and ranted to him for 4 minutes don’t remember the words that was said but I said stuff like “You can’t have things go you way and some other stuff” enough for him leave in tears. All my friends were just stunned that I just broke out like that. A lot of people started thinking he was the victim because they didn’t hear the entire story and when I tried explaining they didn’t believe me and I was getting shamed because of this people thought I took it too far. My friends and teachers are on my side on this but many people are not people have been pressuring me to apologise to him because I took it too far and I think I did I’m thinking about this now but AITATLDR:A Autistic Boy was being really racist to me and and one day my anger finally lost it after he was being annoying. I ranted in front of his face with a lot of stuff I don’t remember saying but I knew it hurt him because he left crying a lot of people thought I started it so they went on his side and I am now being forced to apologise I think I took it a little far AITA,AITA for telling a autistic classmate to stop what he’s doing.,NTA
10zzwdj,"I won a pretty little jackpot playing slots unexpectedly ($1300) and offered to take two of my friends out to a nice dinner with drinks and hibachi. I made it clear that I want to do it on a week night as it can get extremely crazy at the restaurant during the week. I also just like the vibe better on slower nights where it is much easier to hear each other talk. I was met with opposition from my friend X. He's insisting we do it on a weekend because he works during the week. In the past we've frequently gone out and gotten beers/dinner on week nights, and this time would be similar. Frankly, this made me pretty angry considering I was the one paying for dinner (approx $100/person for drinks+appetizers/sushi+food). I put my foot down, saying something to the effect of ""since I'm the one paying, I don't think it's outlandish for me to pick the day, if it's really going to ruin the experience you don't have to go"". I think what I said is blunt to but warranted. AITA?Edit: here are the exact texts sent, first one, followed by another after 45 minutes of not hearing back and judging my tone to be a bit harsh prompting me to type the follow up message>It's gonna be a week day. I'm the one paying I don't think it's that outlandish for me to want to pick the date 🤷 if you are really against it and won't have a good time on a week day then you don't have to go>For the record I'd like you to go and think it's no different than going out for beers or wings on a week day like we've done in the past","AITA for offering to buy my friends dinner, but choosing the time of the week myself?",NTA
110fyj4,"Thanks for reading. I'm a long time lurker.I'm a 36 female and was a bridesmaid to my good friend's wedding, Anna 46. I was initially very honoured, until I went to the first bridesmaid's meeting at her house on Thursday.I realised Anna, hadn't chosen 8 of us, to be her bridesmaids because of our friendships with her, but because of our skills. Example one of her bridesmaids is a Hairdresser, so she will be doing all the hairstyles of the bridesmaids, Anna, Anna's sisters (whom are not bridesmaids) and her mother.I come from a big family so am used to cooking for large amounts of people, so I was expected to cook for 80 guests. I also make sculptures and jewellery out of wire silver clay, so was expected to make Anna's crown and necklaces, bracelets for Anna, the bridesmaids, sisters and mother. I was also expected make 20 wire sculptures for each table. (She wasn't offering any money for the ingredients and materials).Anna then said, that each bridesmaid needs to make an £800 donation. One of the bridesmaids (a Make up Artist) said she is not going to pay, to work for free and Anna said that a bridesmaid is meant to support the bride. Other bridesmaids spoke up, so Anna started shouting and at one point her husband to be, Mark stepped in. Two of the bridesmaids stormed off in the garden to smoke, but because one of them moved so fast their toddler seemed a little confused, so he ran in circles and then put his hand on my knee. I then scooped him up in my arms and placed him on my lap. Anna then shouted ""why are you moving when I'm talking, you stupid r... whore."" I was very upset as she was dragging up my past and I don't know the other bridesmaids, they all went to University with Anna, I didn't. I wanted to leave but I had the little boy on my lap. Everyone was staring at me, whilst Anna kept talking and I desperately tried to hold back tears.I haven't told my loved ones about this because I'm just so upset and don't want to upset them, but Anna sent an email today with her bank details for the £800 and an attachment of the contract, detailing my duties. I emailed back saying that I can't fulfill my duties as a bridesmaid, so will be stepping down.AITA?",AITA for stepping down as bridesmaid?,NTA
110fja5,"I (54F) moved to a new city and have two vehicles. My friend's husband was willing to drive our truck while I drove our children in the minivan. Halfway there, we stopped to gas both vehicles. When I went to pull out of the gas station, I crept forward to ensure I was clear to proceed. However, her husband, who was driving our truck, was looking over his shoulder to also clear himself. Instead of looking forward before he accelerated, he just went, and in the process, he drove our truck right into the side of our minivan, caving in the automatic door and smashing the front of the truck. It was frustrating but I get it that accidents happen. He was very apologetic and I appreciated that he was willing to help us transport one of our vehicles to the new city, so I wasn't going to get angry right then. We secured the door and continued the drive. The next day, I contacted the insurance company and I took them to get the estimate. The accident resulted in $3K in damage to the truck and $5K in damage to the van. We have a $500 deductible but since both of our vehicles were damaged in the accident, we would have to pay the $500 for each car. I contacted my friend to let her know the cost. She expressed sympathy that we had to pay that much. That's when our conversation got heated. She got very mad when she realized that I expected them to pay the deductible, or at least a portion of it (I even said they could help pay us back if they needed more time and didn't have that kind of money immediately). I was told that's what insurance is for and it wasn't their problem what our deductible is. She then made a comment that they will end up having to pay more in the end because his insurance company will know he had an accident and their rates will go up. I'm not sure how that will occur since they use a different insurance company than us and we didn't file a police report.  I haven't talked to them since this happened and wondered AITA for expecting them to help pay since it wouldn't have happened if he hadn't been so careless in the first place.",AITA for expecting my friend to pay the insurance deductible,NTA
110f32z,"I’ve (M30) been with my partner (F29) for a year and we live together. Last night my friend who I’ve known for almost ten years threw a birthday party. My partner felt ill and was unsure if she wanted to come but came because she didn’t want to be alone for the evening. She said if she felt unwell she may leave early and I said that’s fine. I said I wanted to stay until between 11 and 12. During the party she complained that I abandoned her a few times. She was sitting in the corner and I mostly sat with her and tried to include her but a few times got caught up in conversations with people I don’t see often but I was keeping her on my mind and after a few minutes would return back to her.At 10:30 she said she wanted to leave and wanted me to come with her. We live 20 minutes away by taxi so neither of us were relying on the other for a lift. I said I wanted to stay because I was having fun and socialising with friends I haven’t seen in at least a year. She got upset and claimed I originally said I wanted to stay until 10 which wasn’t true.She ended up storming off without saying bye to anyone which raised a lot of questions from people who noticed. I was annoyed but decided to stay for longer and texted her a few times asking where she was.After an hour or two I phoned her and she was throwing abuse at me, calling me vile names and saying I’m the most selfish and horrible person she’s ever met. I have always said before I think if we go to a social event as a couple, if one person isn’t feeling it but the other person is, then it’s perfectly acceptable for the other person to stay longer and if the shoe were on the other foot I wouldn’t mind and would want her to have fun.I returned home and she hasn’t spoken to me since.",AITA for staying at a party when my partner wanted to leave?,NTA
110byhz,"Throwaway account; I(25f) am a current college student renting an upstairs bedroom with an older couple and their adult kids. Everything has been okay, and we all keep to ourselves for the most part while saying hello when we cross paths. However, the husband (70m)‘s home office is below my room, where he will be making loud international calls from midnight to the early morning—sometimes making it hard for me to fall asleep. They commented when I first moved in about me staying up late since they heard my desk chair rolling around at night. I promptly purchased a chair mat to ensure I didn’t make any noise that can bother them. I have my licensing exam soon, and the husband has been on his nightly phone calls from midnight to almost 4:00 am. WIBTA if I asked him to talk quieter at night? TL;DR My landlord makes loud international calls all night, which makes it hard to sleep. WIBTA to ask him to talk quieter?",WIBTA to tell my landlords to be quiet,NTA
110aals,"I (18F) am in nursing school, 3 hours away from home, and as a result I live in student dorms (this comes into play). For some some context, my boyfriend (18) was messing around with basal metabolism calculations, because he likes numbers and stuff and had been speaking about it in a nutrition class that he's partaking in for college. Your basal metabolism, for anyone who doesn't know, is the number of calories that you burn as you perform basic life sustaining functions, like breathing and sleeping. Now, there is nothing wrong with telling me my basal metabolism, why not know how many calories I burn while I breathe?The issue arose with the scaling and information inputting. He did a calculation before, then I did one myself to double check, and then he decided to do one more calculation just to triple check. He asked me if I would describe myself as ""low active"" or ""sedentary"", which he described as ""walking a lot, not necessarily working out but having some activity a couple days a week"" and ""low to no activity at all, walking to different rooms is the extent"". I said low active, because honestly I am. Here's where we work in the student dorms. Since I live in the dorms and don't have a car, I walk everywhere. I drag my groceries in a wagon through the snow (I'm Canadian and live in the north), I walk to the clinic, I walk to stores, I walk to restaurants. I walk a lot, and several times a week. I have nursing labs every Tuesday where I literally stand and walk for 3 hours straight. I like to go skating every other weekend. I'm not the greatest most active human, but I am far from a bump on a log. Anyway, he accepted that answer and continued calculating and he mentioned that the first time he calculated, he put me down as ""high sedentary"", which basically means a couch potato. like someone that has fast food every day, doesn't leave the house, barely gets up except to use the bathroom. And I felt insulted. he said that it was because of my online classes keeping me in a chair for hours at a time and he thought I didn't do much. I told him that it was hurtful he'd think of me like that. I told him all of the typical activities I do, and he told me he forgot about them.Now, I'm insulted and hurt that he really thought that of me, and he practically cried and told me he didn't mean it like that and just ""didn't understand"" the different categories right, despite describing them to me pretty well. I'm starting to feel like I overreacted and hurt him by being so forward about my insulted feelings, and that I should've just let the comment go, but this also isn't the first time he's said things about my activity or how I do things/how I look. AITA?Edit: He knows about my labs, he has my schedule and I have his. He's into fitness and considers himself ""high active"", and has given me a lot of unsolicited advice about how I could improve myself. Edit 2: To give some perspective in the comments, I live in a more northern area of Canada, so we have snow until the end of March/beginning of April, which is really annoying to pull a wagon through. I’m 125lbs, 5”4 3/4, and I’d say the walk to and from the grocery store is probably a kilometre round trip, not including all the walking done in stores (shopping usually takes me about an hour). (A kilometre is about 0.6 miles, for you lovely Americans). Also, my diet consists of a lot of fruit, rice, lighter meats like pork and chicken, and dairy, so in my opinion it’s fairly balanced for a broke college student. My boyfriend is a generally great guy all around, but we’ve always clashed when it came to activity. As for my nursing practice, I know that I’m healthy and that my habits are not going to hurt me, and I also understand that working out isn’t the staple of a healthy lifestyle. As a student nurse I’ve learned you get a lot of exercise just by being in the profession, I mean my labs are an entire day long, and I’m left standing for 3 hours, break for lunch, and then stand another 3 hours. So it’s more like 6 hours total.",AITA for telling my boyfriend that he insulted me?,NTA
1101lnz,"I'm (f19) a bigger woman and I'm very self conscious about it. I'm trying my best to overcome it and sort things out but it's incredibly difficult. I also have a different taste in clothes, I mostly only wear the colour black and most of the clothes I have are alternative and punk. I feel a little self conscious about that too because it does make me stand out but, again, I'm trying to be comfortable in myself. My mum is a narcissist and honestly I hate her but I keep everything civil because I have a little brother (13) who doesn't like arguments and neither does my dad. The other day she was about to go out with her friends and she wanted to borrow my black trench coat because she didn't have a black coat. I'm quite a few sizes bigger than her as she is very slim so I said that she was welcome to wear it if she needed to but it was likely to be too big for her. She put it on and said ""omg, look at it. It looks so stupid. Omg."" I just ignored that because I assumed that she meant it looked too big for her but I was still a little upset because I know that I'm bigger but it's not nice to hear someone, especially my mum, laughing about it. She carried on laughing and said ""it looks awful, omg. Do you want me to bring it down to the charity shop? look at it!"" And continued laughing. I told her to take it off and put it back in my room and she said that she needed the coat because she didn't have another one and that she was only joking about and didn't mean anything serious. I said I didn't care about the excuses, she didn't like it so put it back, as it is mine and now I didn't want her wearing it. She called me pathetic and called her friend and said that I was stopping her from getting ready so she was now going to be late to meet them all. AITA for not letting her use it? Was it pathetic of me to take it to heart?",AITA for not letting my mum use my clothes after she laughed at them,NTA
110e62d,"My (31) husband (31), we'll call him Mike, got a job last year at a really good place, he loved It, It was paid badly, no sick leaves, no pension found...but It was everything he'd ever want from a job, It was in the nature , funny coworkers, easygoing boss...This year he had to leave because he found a better paid job that gave him (and our family) more stability.The new job situation Is like this: 24 hours per week + another 5 hours on the weekend. I know It sounds like a parte time but it's a kind of job that requires a certain amount of work outside office hours.I work too and I do more or less the same: 24 hours a week, no weekends but more things to do at home.Even tough he quit the previous job he's still in contact with his former coworkers and sometimes he likes to go there to eat with them. When they organize dinner around the campfire he always goes (once a month).He Is particularly fond of one coworker, we'll call him Sam (20) that Is really funny and a little crazy, but in a good way. With Sam he can do a lot of stuff that he likes but couldn't do with me, like camping in the mountains during winter for 2 days...I always encourage him to go and do this kind of stuff, I'm boring, I know It, and I'm Happy he's got some company with whom he can enjoy his interests.The thing is, Sam is a little reckless sometimes, he does what he wants to do, doesn't give It a second thought, he follows his own rules...he lives alone and doesn't have anybody worrying for him. So last time they scheduled a campfire I was sick in bed but I was ok with him going anyway. So he left at  7.00 PM and at 00.30 AM he still wasn't home. At that point I must have slept but I woke up to the sound of him coming back at 2.00 AM. When he went to sleep I told him I was angry with him for coming back so late knowing that I was sick. He laughed and dismissed It. Next morning I decide to bring back the topic and tell him that he shouldn't stay out so late, because It makes me anxious and It gives me strange thoughts (our relationship in bed Is getting worse lately, he seems uninterested in me, and this alone makes me anxious). I know he's not cheating on me but still...He gets angry at me and tells me he works all day and is always buisy and those few times he can go out I must spoil It. I replay I didn't say he shouldn't go out, just come back at a decent hour.He tells me he was just wit Sam and I needn't be anxious. I replay Sam Is 20 and nobody's waiting for him, while he's 31 and he had a sick wife at home, he can't behave the same as him.So in the end He never apologised, nor did I, he goes on saying I shouldn't expect him to come home when I want to, and I keep saying he should be more considerate and come back at a decent hour.I Just think it's common sense to be back home a Little earlier, to not let your family worry, but at the same time I don't wonna tell him exactly which time he should come home, I'm not his mother...but maybe he's right, maybe I acted controlling?So AITA?",AITA for telling my husband to not be late at night?,NTA
1101k23,"My boyfriend and I have started meal prepping for weeks at a time, and have been taking turns cooking. We keep the budget around $50 and try to make as much food as possible, to eat and freeze. We don't eat the same thing day after day, we tend to rotate between several options we pre froze during the week, trying to eat older stuff first. The meal prep was his idea, for both budget reasons since it's cheaper to buy and cook at scale, and cause we're busy. We both eat a lott, we're both really athletic and just need to. But this week, we had an argument. It was my turn to meal prep, and I was exhausted. I was talking to my friend who's an executive assistant and she said if I had a $50 budget she knew a few places that do bulk catering for great prices, she orders from them for office parties all the time, and she could get me her company loyalty discount. I checked them out and an Indian place had a 120oz container of chicken tikka masala for $55, which I got for $47 with my friend's discount. My boyfriend and I both love it and I knew they could cook it wayyy better than me. So I just bought that and portioned it out into single serving Tupperware to freeze, figuring it would make a quick easy meal if we made some rice to go with it. (We cook rice and pasta day-of since it doesn't last well) He loved the meal, but when i mentioned it was catering, and I found a spot that sells huge portions in our budget, bigger and better than what I usually manage to cook myself, I was expecting him to be happy but he got kinda mad at me. He said he busted his ass every time he meal preps to make something nice for us, and it's just like me to pay someone else to do it... I was frustrated because I spent literally the same I would have spent if I cooked myself, and honestly ended up with way more, and way better food, than I usually manage to make in that budget. He said I needed to learn to cook, and I said I could. He said he saw what I called cooking and i was right, it's not always good. I got kinda mad at him and asked why it matters so much I cook it as long as it gets cooked for under our budget. Hell, I thought he might be happy to save some time himself if he ever wants to order catering on his day - I wouldn't be mad. He said he's worked in kitchens, he knows how to fo it himself and it was entitled of me to not care to learn. I said when he DIYs it he still doesn't save money because he doesn't get ingredients at as good bulk prices as a caterer who shops at restaurant supply. I feel like this was such a dumb argument but reddit... AITA for ordering catering on my meal prep day, when my boyfriend always cooks homemade meals on his?",AITA for ordering catering when it was my turn to meal prep? My boyfriend always cooks at home when it's his turn,NTA
1108zk6,"I (M16) have been friends with jake(M16) since second grade. He has always been pretty sensitive and I have helped him through many situations in the past. This most recent situation is what has caused the conflict. He had been talking to this girl(Jen) for about 3 months and recently Jen unadded him for what he thinks is a story he posted. The story consisted of him making sexual comments about an apple and as soon as Jen saw it she unadded him. Up until that point the conversations between them had seemed pretty decent so when she unadded him it really hurt him. After this he had made multiple very inappropriate comments about her(hoping she gets hit by a car etc.) and each time I had called him out on it. I have helped him through many situations in the past and have never been afraid to call him out as Jake is not the best person morally. I expected he would drop it after about a week but it has been 3 weeks and he still is complaining about her, dming multiple times asking why she unadded him with no response. Today he finally told me that he was going to approach her and ask her in real life and I explained that it wasn’t the best idea since she was clearly uninterested in talking to him. He was very upset about this and started to become more and more insensitive and started insulting me. I tried to keep my cool and explain that she would most likely be creeped out by him talking to her and he needs to respect her choice to stop talking. I had to explain this multiple times with him responding in excuses or insults. Eventually I gave into the frustration and told him he was “being self centred thinking she owes you an explanation and that you needs to stop being a little boy and get over her”. He seemed to be very offended by that statement and said if he doesn’t even want to be friends with me if im gonna be a “bitch”. I understand that he is experiencing emotions so I don’t really care but it seems he has complained to our other friends and they’ve been messaging me calling me a bad friend for not supporting him. I get that he is very upset by the whole situation but I dont appreciate him telling other people about our disagreement. Ik i may be an AH in saying that but I think he is equally the AH. So AITA more or is he?",AITA calling my friend a little boy knowing he will be upset by it,NTA
110b7jl,"I was having dinner on a chilly patio with my partner under a heat lamp and we were about halfway into our meal. The patio was pretty full when we sat down, we were in a side section of the patio and I was facing a wall so did not have an idea of how many tables were full or available at the time of the conflict. We were cozy under a heat lamp, and there were more heat lamps around the other patio tables. I would say that most heat lamps could be shared by 2 tables in the main patio area. I think there were a couple fire pits too. About halfway into our meal, another patron came up and started moving our heat lamp while asking my partner if they could move the heat lamp to warm their table. I was sitting farther away from the heat lamp (partner was directly under it), and if the lamp was moved at all, I would be entirely in the cold. Our tables were kind of perpendicularly wrapped around a corner, sorry I wish I could draw it out. I said “No, sorry I’m cold.” Patron continued to address my partner saying “It’s just a little bit over” (false). Partner said “I think you already got an answer”. Patron went to their table and said “Fine I guess I’ll just have to make my 4 year olds sit in the cold”, took a seat and their table that faced me, and proceeded to death stare at me for the rest of the meal. Five minutes later, Patron’s partner shows up with 2 kids and a dog. They all eat, everyone (including my party) is appropriately dressed for patio dining so it’s not like their kids were freezing in t-shirts. They were even running around screaming and climbing on the table while both parents ate and made no effort to quiet them. They finished before me and left without incident. So, am I the asshole for being cold and refusing to give away our heat lamp? There was indoor seating available and a large main area with more tables and lamps, they could have waited for a warmer table to open up like everyone else who came and dined before them.",AITA for being cold?,NTA
110dt4t,"Not really serious as the others and my friends say I'm not AITA but I'm gonna ask outside perspectives.Last week I(f17) went out with my friends and we were all chill, we decided to go out to eat and one of our friends decided to pay for all of our meals. I dont have the best financial situation but I still had the capacity to pay so I still offered to pay my meal. He didn't  accept it and rejected my offer so I let it go and enjoyed the free meal. I said I will repay him back one today a bit jokingly but I don't go out often and really appreciated what he did.Now cut to today, he texted me earlier asking if I could pay him back for the meal since he wanted to buy a gift. I said I would since I still wanted to pay him back but it left a bitter taste in my mouth. I think I'm in the wrong for feeling this way but I need a bit of insight, so AITA?",AITA for feeling to not wanting to pay someone back?,NTA
10zzrn3,Me (22) and my friend Jane (24) had an altercation. I used to date my friend Janes boyfriend 5 years ago when I was a senior in high school. We had a two year relationship that ended because he was a cheater back then ( I don’t know if he is now) and I have self respect for myself. We went our separate ways. I met my friend Jane two years ago and we didn’t go together to the same high school so it’s not like she knew. When we all went out to eat I saw him and was surprised but kept it casual and we didn’t even speak to each other. Well she found pictures of us together at his house and he told her the whole story about how we used to date. She showed up at my house with our friends and tried to fist fight me for not letting her know that we used to date. Everyone had to pull her off of me and I told her I didn’t feel the need to say anything considering I haven’t seen him in years! And I don’t talk to him. Considering the chaos this unleashed I am now feeling like I should have casually brought it up. AITA for not letting my friend Jane know I used to date her boyfriend?,AITA for not telling my friend I dated her boyfriend,NTA
1103u9c,"I am a university student sharing a hostel room with one roommate. We usually get along peacefully. We had been allotted one study table per person. Last month, my roommate got herself another desk , one which is now put in the common space between our beds and another which is put near her bed on her side of the room. I did not have much problem with the arrangement before but now that I have started staying in my room for longer hours, the desk in our common space ( which extends well into my side)  has started to bother me. It feels intruding and uncomfortable especially when my roommate uses it to study or work. The issue with her shifting the desk is that there would be no more extra space on her side to move the desk into.  So, WIBTA if I ask her to shift her desk out of our common space?",WIBTA for asking my roommate to shift her desk out of our common space?,NTA
11070ct,"My(34f) BIL (32m) has stolen $8k+ in cash and an unknown amount of physical products from his last  employer (major retail corporation) and an unknown (supposedly only $3k) amount of cash and products from another major retailer, his employer before that. My sister (32f)  is constantly having to ask family for money for their power bill, water, meds, gas money, groceries etc. They filed bankruptcy paperwork in the fall. Various family members have expressed concern over sister and their 2 young  boys living in a house during this past year with no water or no power at various points. BIL has semi admitted to a gambling problem but nothing super concrete. Sister also has her MIL living with them because MIL can not live alone, health wise. BIL admits to the stealing of cash from the companies. Sister helped him ""use"" the money to pay bills. BIL says ""he'll do whatever is right for his boys."" I confronted my sister tonight about it all and asked why she was willing to put her boys through all that? Her only response was that she loves BIL and can't do anything with out him. TL/DR: BIL stole $8k+ from work. Nephews are going without. Sister in denial. BIL has no remorse for stealing and continues to steal.",WIBTA for turning in my bil for theft,YWBTA
10zwcvm,"This was from last weekI (32M) am dating a Nurse (32F) from Philippines, she has a 8 year old kid (I don't have any), for about a year.I am currently doing a degree in night school, and I had a large essay due, as I work as well I knew over the weekend I would be having crunch time. I have always shared this deadline, and that I don't want to do anything over the weekend as I know I will be working on the essay.I knew she was working that weekend, and usually the kid has sleepovers and what not, but I said that weekend I can't deal with a house full of kids as I can't look after them. I thought that was the end of it.Come one hour before, she sends me a text (she was upstairs) saying she agreed to a sleepover the day before, and there will be 3 other kids here. I was livid, I am doing my essay, I said no before, and I can't look after them. I got no response. I went upstairs and said, I should have just gone to my parents to do this essay then, she went radio silent.So she walks out to work and leaves the kids for a sleepover, I call and say this isn't fair. Instead I get told I said I was leaving to go to my parents anyway, she will send the kid back to Phillipines, and it isn't any bother to me.I am completely bemused what I have done wrong, and why this is a blow out.TL;DR - Said I can't babysit as I have a deadline, now I am babysitting and made to feel like crap",AITA For refusing to Babysit and then getting annoyed when they where left here,NTA
1107j9g,"I (F 19) am in college and have been talking to this person (F 19) for about 4 months now.  We live in the same dorm. She is a floor up from me. She cares deeply about her family and misses them a lot while we’re away.  So I try to let her have her time with them.  Sometimes they call when we're joking around or talking, and she drops everything to talk to them, which I guess is okay. She stays on the phone with them for an hour, sometimes more, while I'm just laying there waiting for her to finish. She was taking a test in my room while I was napping, and I gave her time to finish once I woke up. However, immediately after she finished the test and we were able to spend some time together, her dad called. She answered, of course, but what bothered me was that there were so many moments where it was just silent, and I was lying there in silence in my own room. Afterward, she could tell something was up, and I told her it was nothing until I could gather my thoughts. I explained that in times like that, I feel that she isn't being considerate of my time and that instead, maybe she can walk the halls or go back to her room until she's done. Since then, she's been kind of quiet, yet still insisting that she's not upset. Am I overreacting? Feel free to ask questions if you need more clarification.",AITA for asking the person I'm talking to to leave my room when on the phone,NTA
110fcte,"So to preface this, I(23f) broke up with my sons(5m) dad(24m) about 8 months ago and ended up homeless right after. I’ve been with my bf(28m) for just over 6 months now, and for 5 of those months I was couch surfing and living in hotels when I could afford it. I stayed with my bf and his mom for a month and stopped when I asked my grandmother(61f) if I could live with her just until I get back on my feet. I’ve lived with her for about 3 weeks now and since I’ve been here my son every single day and night that I’m not working. I’ve seen my bf a total of 3 times in that time. So yesterday before I even left for work I told my grandmother that I wouldn’t be home until really late and to just put my son to bed for me at his usual bed time and I’ll see him in the morning. She had no issue with this when I left for work. Well I got off work at 11pm, and went to watch a movie at my bfs house that we’ve been meaning to watch for weeks now. She calls me at around 11:20 asking if I’m coming home tonight and telling me that my son is waiting up for me. I reiterate that I told her before I even went to work that I was watching a movie with my bf and would be back later.Well she blows up on me, saying that I have a son and I should be home right after work and that I need to find another place to live and all this other bullshit. So I tell her it’s not wrong of me to want to hang out with my bf that I see once a week and that I WILL be home, just after the movie. She eventually tells me not to come back and I’m essentially kicked out. All because I went to watch a movie with my bf after work. So AITA here? I don’t think I did anything wrong but obviously I could be wrong here.Editing here so it doesn’t get lost in the comments but I pay rent, I pay for the groceries for the house, and I pay child support to my sons father since technically speaking he lives with him due to me being homeless. My grandmother said when I moved in that I get one day a week that she’ll watch my son so I can see my boyfriend.",AITA for hanging out with my bf after work?,YTA
10zyi6o,"This happened yesterday. Leaving a bit of detail out for the word count. I understand I could’ve went about it differently before getting to this point but AITA? I went to the nail salon to get acrylic nails. Overall it was not a good experience. I kept requesting she correct mistakes but she got argumentative so I stopped and assumed they would get better (I know I should’ve spoken up). She finally said, “Tell me everything you don’t like and I will fix it once, come on, let’s go.” I tried to at least tolerate them but when I woke up I just knew I couldn’t deal with paying that much money for something that wasn’t up to my standards. And to top it off she cut 3 of my fingers. I called today and spoke to the receptionist and I scheduled a time to come by (3pm). I get there and started explaining the problem but I literally only say one thing before they go and get someone. They tell me to sit down and new nail tech starts shaping the nail to look more square (one of the many problems). I stop her and say the issue is more than just the shape, so I wanted them redone. The nail tech said she wouldn’t take off the old work, she would just fix what’s already there. THEN, I asked for her to just take them off all together and that’s it (I was not arguing or raising my voice). She said she didn’t have time and that they will refund me and I can go somewhere else because the lady that did my nails originally didn’t do that bad and I’m just wasting everyone’s time. I said ok, fine because I didn’t want to make a scene. I asked for an itemized receipt of what I was charged for so that I could make sure I was getting a full refund for the services I initially came back for them to fix. When they told me the breakdown (or their version of it) they said I paid $70 but they were only going to refund me $60 since she’s already wasted so much time on me and they don’t usually give refunds. I said, that’s not ok with me. I just wanted a refund for the nails and design. She kept insisting they weren’t that bad and I replied saying they were not up to my standards and I’m not comfortable with them. Then the lady who did my nails came up and asked if I liked the nails, I said no. She said, “well ok, let me take them off for her. “ A few ladies yelled no (or something in their native language). Then the lady that did my nails said she wasted a lot of time on me and the nails don’t look bad and I just want to give her a hard time. I apologized to her and said I was not trying to offend her but it’s just not up to my standards. They said, this is the best we can do, we will not refund you the full $70. Our manager isn’t here but you can call her to ask for a full refund later. I said, “Ok, no worries. I’ll dispute the transaction with my bank.” I then walked away and w that was the end of that. I literally gave them a chance to fix them and they refused. Then they were rude and tried to bully me all because I didn’t like what I paid for.[Nails](https://imgur.com/a/aZfq88u) Here are the nails",AITA for asking the nail salon to redo my nails?,NTA
110at78,"I’m (20sF) currently living with my parents because times are tough. Same thing with my uncle. He recently moved in a few months ago.About 3 months ago I noticed he would just leave his dishes in the sink and never wash them. I always pick up after myself and clean up my dishes after eating. My mom tells him to wash his dishes. He argues back that he’ll come back and do them. Spoiler alert: he doesn’t. My dad comes home pretty late (11pm) and if there are dishes in the sink, he’ll just wash them. He comes home tired and yet he still washing my uncles dishes. This really annoys me. My uncle is in his mid 50s and is a grown ass man. He should stop being lazy.If he leaves his stuff in the sink, I’ll just store it away and won’t tell him where it is. But then my mom would ask me to give it back. My uncle and I are not on speaking terms because we’ve fought in the past. Recently I started to get fed up. Earlier today I just threw away his food container because he left it in the sink. Am I being the asshole?Edit: Seems like it’s a 50/50 split between YTA and NTA. I agree with the comment saying that this is really not my battle so I’ll stand back and not throw anything else away. I was just mad but I know that doesn’t make it okay. But I will be talking to my parents some more because he’s taking advantage of them (not with just the dishes but other things he’s doing). Thanks guys.",AITA for throwing out my uncle’s dishes because he doesn’t wash them?,NTA
10zvkq4,"Recently, I (18f), had a PCL reconstruction surgery about 3 weeks ago. Recently my surgeon cleared me to drive since I was no longer on my pain meds and could get by comfortably with little pain driving and being active throughout the day. (My parents can’t drive me anymore because my stepmom is an anesthesiologist and my dad is an EMT, so they usually don’t have time and my friends all live too far away to pick me up. )However, I’m still on crutches and will be on crutches for the next 2-3 weeks, depending on how my recovery is going. So because of this, I asked my high school if there was anyway I could park closer to the building, as there was no dedicated handicap parking and parking at the school is first come first serve, and usually filled with ice right now. The admins said I could use the “loading lane”, which was an area for busses to pick up and drop off students, but now it’s no longer used because the high school doesn’t run busses anymore. It’s been said all year that you’re not allowed to park there because it’s where first responders park in case of emergencies, but since I have one car and park all the way towards the front (by the main doors), it wouldn’t be an issue and I wouldn’t be in the way.But now, I’ve noticed that after I’ve started parking there, more and more people have been parking there so they don’t have to park all the way in the back of the parking lot. And it’s causing issues for me, because I’ve been having to park further back, where there’s still a lot of snow and ice and not by the main doors, so it’s easier for me to get into the building without risking a slip and fall or having to go out into the road to avoid ice and snow patches. Usually the admins try and take care of it, but can’t monitor the parking lot constantly. If I were to report it, the students parking there would get ticketed.I was unsure if I should actually report them, because I’m very socially anxious and don’t like to cause issues. So, I asked my friends and most of them told me to drop it, because I would just be wasting everyone’s time and getting people tickets for no reason, since I can still park somewhat close and get into the building, it just takes more maneuvering. One of them said it would be petty and an asshole move to report them, because it would be like rubbing it in that I get to park close, but they don’t. However, one of them said I should report it, because it’s dangerous for me to try to get around on crutches with ice and snow. So now I’m torn, and I’m not sure what to do.So, WIBTA?",WIBTA for reporting people parking “illegally” at my school?,YWNBTA
10zwsyz,"My husband and I have a dog and he’s pretty well behaved and trained. He’s going through puberty and has some small issues we need to work on. When he sees another dog he will lunge and bark and try to go play, and when people come over he jumps up at them.  We have done all sorts of different training approaches, but my husband got a shock collar. He set it up today and wanted me to feel the shock. I didn’t want to be shocked. He said if I’m not willing to shock myself then I can’t shock the dog. I said ok, I won’t shock the dog then. But, he continued to be upset that I absolutely refused to be shocked by the shock collar. I told him I don’t jump up on people and don’t need to be shocked and if he feels it’s a necessity to be shocked to give a shock then I won’t. I have been tazed before so I am positive I don’t like electric currents through my body. AITA for refusing to be shocked?",AITA for not wanting to be shocked?,NTA
1107kd2,"A little backstory, tm *was* my coworker, N’s last day but she offered me $90 to work her shift. Fun fact: I *hate* working Sunday’s and only work them every once in a while, and the only reason I’m working tm is bc I’m getting $90 instead of the usual $60. My other coworker, R, found out and asked me “Since you’re picking up shifts..” and I instantly told her no, multiple times, firmly and sternly, like before she could even finish her sentence. She asked if I want to work a Sunday in a few weeks for her bc “she’s trying to plan her daughters birthday party” so I ended up saying yes. But I thought about it and realized I *really* don’t want to do it. I don’t like Sunday’s and I only pick them up if I could use the extra cash. It bothered me bc she found out I picked up a Sunday and practically ran to ask me to pick up one for her. Another thing, she basically begged me until I gave in. She gets pushy and doesn’t know how to take “no” for an answer. I ended up asking her if she could find someone else to work it. She said she couldn’t, how it was between me and a different coworker but she wanted to invite said coworker to the party since they’re good friends. She said “think about all the times you said you wish you could pay me back for working your shift” (she’s a server, I’m a host and don’t serve, so I can’t work a shift for her if she needed). I thought that was unfair bc she’s said multiple times how it’s okay that I can’t pay her back by working a shift, it’s fine, no big deal. Also, the starting pay is $10hr, I make $12 and hour so whenever I’d pay her for working my shift I’d pay her the $12hr pay, which I don’t have to do. She ended up saying I’m not obligated to work it for her and how I can say no, so I told her “then this is me saying no”. She said it’s okay but I feel like she might have been a little upset about it for obvious reasons. We close at 3 on Sunday’s so why can’t she just plan the party for after 3? I feel like I *might* be the asshole bc I *did* originally tell her I’d work her shift for her but I also feel like she kind of begged me into saying yes and used her daughter’s birthday party as a guilt trick.",AITA for telling my coworker I’d work a shift for her then changing my mind and telling her no?,NTA
10zz4ow,"I 28F have lived in this rental home for a year and maybe a couple months. I also have 2 kids that are very young. 2 days ago my boyfriend and I had a very heated argument. We did raise our voices at each other and my oldest child called my mom when my boyfriend and I argued. Well my boyfriend got arrested because my mom said he tried to kill me in front of my kids. My mom rushed over to our house banged on the door and when I opened the door she shoved it open and said "" give me my grandkids""I walked out to tell her I'm fine and to go home but before I could she started reversing her car our of our driveway and called the cops. Which I did as well.which resulted in his arrest. I can't have contact with my boyfriend at all because of the accusations. Yesterday my boyfriend was released from jail and was picked up by his BIL. Well his BIL happens to also be our landlord. Fast forward to today... BIL gave me a verbal eviction notice saying I have 30 days to move out. And I'm assuming it's because of this incident from 2 days ago. AITA for saying no to a verbal eviction and wait until there is a court ordered document stating my eviction? ***EDIT*** My kids are aged 4 and 2mo. My boyfriend and I signed the lease and yes I do pay rent along with other utilities. I DID NOT call the police on my boyfriend as the argument ended 10 minutes before she tried barging in our home. He did not get physical with me and I called the police on my mother. And she called them on us. My boyfriend got arrested for the scratch on my neck that came from my dog before the argument started.***EDIT*** AGAIN MY BOYFRIEND DID NOT GET PHYSICAL WITH ME HE'S NEVER HURT ME BEFORE AND NEVER WOULD!! Another thing I would like to add is that the argument was about our dog who bit someone who came into our yard without permission. And no one was home. My boyfriend wants to get rid of the dog and I said she did what she was supposed to do. I get I'm TA in this but I am a SAHM with very little income and moving out isn't really something I can afford right now. Moving in with my mom is not an option because my aunt who lives there had spit in my face on multiple occasions so I wouldn't take my kids to my moms My boyfriend works alot so I'm usually taking care of the household duties and our kids.",AITA for refusing to move out of my home after a verbal eviction?,YTA
10zzqth,"So, my friends and I recently took a trip up to the mountain. We all agreed to split the cost of gas and food etc (4 ways including myself and partner), but when it came to the cost of snow chains, two of my friends said they didn't think they should have to pay. I argued that the chains were a necessary item for driving on snowy roads and were considered an expense for the trip, just like gas and food.The got a ride up with us, but decided last minute not to ride down with us, where we needed to use the chains. They even made sure to ask me several times to buy chains.My friends still refused to pay and said that I was being unreasonable and “outrageous”. Their reasoning is that it’s more akin to the cost of the car and since I’ll likely use them again in the future that it’s a cost for me. I asked for around $60 and instead the only paid me $20 each for gas. Now I'm feeling unsure and wondering if I'm the one in the wrong here. AITA for expecting my friends to pitch in for the cost of snow chains?",AITA for expecting my friends to pitch in for the cost of snow chains on a recent trip to the mountain?,YTA
11089cd,"There’s a lot of backstory here, so please stick w/ me! I (F20) started dating my current partner (M22) 2 years ago. A few months into our relationship, one of his closest friends (M22, Trent) started going on dates with one of my closet friends (F20, Toni.) At some point, my partner said something to his friends along the line of “I have the cutest girlfriend!” to which Trent said, “You know that isn’t true” + then proceeded to say I was less attractive than all of my friends, but he thought my best friend (F20, Keerstin) was more attractive than all of us (even tho he was dating Toni.)Trent also sent TikToks to my partner about how my partner likes fat woman- which, I am. Just another small instance that made me feel bad about myself. I’ve always compared myself to my friends. I’m plus sized and they aren’t. I know that I’m not attractive and I don’t expect anyone to think I am- but that doesn’t make it hurt less. Knowing other people compare us just as much as I do was a hard blow. Trent was made aware that I knew about these comments and never apologized. Since then, while his comments stuck with me and I never particularly liked him, I’ve stayed very polite.Keerstin and I went to see a movie last month and she asked me if I would mind if she started having a strictly sexual relationship with Trent. I said no bc it wasn’t my business who she had sex with,+ it’s been a year and a half, + he lives 2 hours away, so I figured it would be a when-he’s-in-town thing. Since then he’s come to visit three times (despite rarely coming to visit before) + she has gone to visit once, even driving four hours away to see a concert, staying entire weekends at a time. They aren’t just casually hooking up- they’re dating. After she asked me, I started thinking about what he had said all that time ago. I started feeling bad about my body + face again. I started hating when people would look at me. I know this is because of my own insecurities but it resulted in my partner having a conversation with Trent and asking him to apologize. My partner didn’t tell me that this conversation happened until yesterday. Trent was asked to apologize a month ago- + I have not heard a word. This just solidifies the kind of person I thought he was. And I’m so upset that anyone can say whatever they want about me and my best friend of eight years still wants to go on dates with this person. I don’t expect anyone to stop being friends with Trent or to yell at him for me- but my best friend? Who didn’t even know him before? We made a deal to never talk about what they do together + while that helps me not think about it, it makes me sad that there’s a whole part of her life I can’t know about. I also don’t think its morally right or my place to dictate who she sees + the damage of her not caring is already done. Would I be the asshole if I told her I was uncomfortable with their relationship after I already said it was fine?EDIT:Hi! Thank you everyone for your comments. To clarify, Toni and Trent stopped talking after a few months. Both Toni and Keerstin were made aware of his comments. I remember Toni crying because he had said Keerstin was more attractive than she was, too. Surprisingly, they continued talking even after that- only breaking things off after she lost interest.I’d like to say that I don’t think Trent is evil. I’ve said hurtful things about other people’s appearances. Since this all happened, I’ve said hurtful things about HIS appearance out of spite. I just wish he would apologize so that I can let go. I really am struggling letting go. So, based on comments I’m thinking I’m NTA now but I WBTA if I made a big deal about this to Keerstin? Or expected her to break up with him after having a conversation with her? Keep in mind, she had asked my consent and I had previously said yes, like a dumbass. I don’t want her to stop pursuing her own happiness for me- but I just wish Trent hadn’t gotten what he wanted from her.",WIBTA If I Asked My Friend To Stop Seeing Someone,YWBTA
11057l9,"I (21F) got injured back in October '22 by stepping off a bus wrong, and breaking my foot from such. I was in recovery for four months because of what I broke, and recently returned to work(as in, have only worked two shifts so far).  Before returning to work, my mom (60F) started asking me if I'd take the bus to work. I currently rely on others driving me around because of my anxiety + autism making it hard for me to learn how to drive. I don't go out much, so I only rely on my parents for work, any doc appointments, and groceries, which I go at the same time as them to make it easier on everyone. I'll pick back up learning how to drive once I'm a bit more recovered.Since I got back on the schedule, my mom has been asking me again and again when I would start riding the bus, but whenever I think of riding the bus again I get an anxiety attack. If it weren't for my injury being my foot, I would definitely walk to work since it's within 2 miles of me, but I still have a slight limp that becomes more prominent the more I walk. My work needs me on my feet, so the less I'm on my feet before work, the better. I completely understand that it's an inconvenience sometimes, but because of how short the drive is(a straight 5 minute drive), I thought it wouldn't be a large issue, as they drove me half the time before my injury. Mom currently works from home, and often leaves the house during her work day to do other things.But everytime I mention that I will need a ride, she asks me if I can just take the bus, and gets angry and yells at me when I say I can't yet. I've told her I'll eventually be able to ride the bus again, but not yet. I think I should be able to ride the bus when needed within the next couple months, hopefully. But I feel guilty every time I have to ask for a ride. AITA?",AITA for not wanting to take the bus yet?,NAH
1102h3e,"(For privacy reasons I'll call my sister Tracy)Tonight my sister (24F) and I (17NB) were in the bathroom and she asked me to hand her my cat, I questioned why and she just asked again, I stared at her and she came over to take Oreo from my arms (Oreo doesn't really like Tracy, only goes over to her when I'm not home and she needs company), Oreo squirms to try and run away before Tracy can pick her up.My sister ends up holding her and grabs a finished toilet paper roll (the cardboard roll part) and I questioned what she was doing before I saw her put the roll on Oreo's tail which, obviously, made her uncomfortable, so I tried to reach over to take the roll out saying ""Take that off. She doesn't like that. It's uncomfortable!"" And my sister said ""Wait no! Let me put her on the ground to see how she walks"" and put her on the ground chuckling at how Oreo walked with the roll there.I went after Oreo to take it off but she flicked it away before I could help and ran downstairs, my sister got annoyed and then said ""Oh c'mon...stop it! It's not that serious"". Something she's been using a lot for practically anything I try to say she did that annoyed, hurt or pissed me off.Part of me thinks she's unaware that not everyone has the same definition of ""a big deal"" as she does.But it's made me wonder if I'm the one taking things too seriously and I turn ""ruining the fun"" or ""Being an asshole"" or if she's in fact doing stuff that can be considered a big deal or problematic.So AITA for not wanting my sister to make my cat uncomfortable for her entertainment?",AITA for not wanting my sister annoying my cat?,NTA
10zzeb8,"Edit3: I feel the need to put this up here, bc seems like not everyone is actually reading my question. My intention was NEVER to push the waitress/tell her how she should do HER job. I was only worried that she had to wait for my friends while they were chatting to one another and ignoring her. Still, I have understood why I'm the AH. It's the fact that what I said came out really rude, and it's like I'm ordering her to do sth when it's her job. Kudos to all the people who gave me advice on what to do/say next time. Anyway, thanks a lot people!​So yesterday while going out to eat, I casually told a waitress ""Oh we're done ordering, you should get going now before it's too late"" bc I thought it was late and the restaurant was about to close, and my friends were chatting off topic and making her wait. The waitress was confused and she asked me to say it again because ""woa you talked a lil too fast, mind saying it more slowly?"". She looked at me and smiled softly so I genuinely thought that she didn't catch that. And before I could even explain it to her, my friends yelled at me for being rude. They were all very serious looking, except for my best friend. Bc my best friend is literally the most polite person on Earth, and so I asked her if I was rude, she said ""No, and I don't think the waitress think so either"".I don't want to be rude to anyone, especially those who worked their ass off in the service industry. So, me being a decent person, please tell me if I was the asshole for saying so. If you have any other way to say what I wanted to say, how would you say so?Edit: To clarify a few things, my friends wanted to order sth extra when we were almost done with our meal, so no we didn't just barge into a restaurant that was about to close. Also, my friend was chatting off with one another, not with the waitress, so I didn't want her to wait, not that I wanted to tell her how to do her job. Yes, she did tell us earlier that the restaurant was about to close.Also, I would very much appreciate it if you guys can also suggest me some other sentences to express what I wanted to say bc I'm not very good with words. I only chat with close friends so I'm afraid that's why it came off really rude when I talk to others. Thanks guys!!Edit2: It really concerns me bc many of you come at me and tell me that I can't tell how the waitress should perform her job. The thing is I'm not trying to do anything like that. I respect people and would never want to disrespect anyone for no good reason, so why would I want to do that for a worker who was about to end her shift? I'm quite sad that there were only a few people who give me suggestions on what to say or do when in the situation :((","AITA for telling a waitress to ""hurry up""?",YTA
11051ad,"I (21F) am a performer. In December 2021, I decided to become a drag king after meeting my mentor at a show. I wanted to come up with a fun stage name with word play that people would find entertaining. I came up with the name Ike Cometarson because it sounds like ""I commit arson."" I made an Instagram account to document my performances, and my family managed to find it. They do not approve of my drag. However, I know I can not please them. Regardless, I am an adult, and they don't have to like everything I choose to do. My brother (23M) followed my account in December. I finally debuted Ike 2 weeks ago at a local show, which was successful. I had so much fun getting to perform with all of my friends. Here's where the problem begins.2 days ago, my mother messaged me. The exchange went as follows:Mom: Brother is upset you are using his name/nickname for your drag name. Should I have him give you a call?I was shocked. I realize Ike was a childhood nickname for my brother. However, I completely was not thinking of him when it came to naming my character. I did not mean malicious intent. I thought about it and replied.OP: I mean, I guess so. Not trying to offend him, just word play. Ike Cometarson=I Commit ArsonMom: Ike has been his call name for sports, email address, etc for yearsOP: I know, wasn't my intent and didn't even really think of that when picking it. Just wanted a name that sounded close to the joke. Can you ask him to call?I know my response was not the most mature. I can't help but feel so conflicted with this. On one hand, I know what my intentions are and know that I'm not trying to steal names from people. On the other, I feel like an asshole. My friends say I'm not the asshole, but I need more perspective.",AITA for not changing my stage name for my brother?,YTA
11049ho,"I (16F) live with my mom. My mom made the announcement this morning that she doesn't want either me or my sister to be cooking, as we have a lot of leftovers from the week, and we should be using up those. I've been in the basement for most of the day (my room is down here) and really just trying to relax. A few hours ago, I got hungry, so I went upstairs to get some food. Most of the leftovers were gone and the only thing left was brown rice. I asked my mom if i could make some chicken and potatoes for dinner as I already had rice for lunch and didn't want to have it again. She protested, saying that we had to finish the rice, but I told her that she was being unreasonable. She said if i really wanted to I could heat up some chicken nuggets for dinner but no potatoes. I asked why cuz just chicken nuggets weren't that great of a meal by themselves. She started to scream at me that I was being stupid and if I was hungry to just make some stir fry with the extra rice. I told her she wasn't listening to me and that i didn't have a recipe for stir fry and didn't want to have rice anyway. She told me that that was ""too bad.""I felt myself starting to overstimulate and my heart started racing.  As discretely as I could, I went to my room, grabbed my phone, earbuds, computer, and a book and closed the door. I felt like I was losing control of my body and I was crying uncontrollably. I put in my earbuds, picked the playlist i compiled for this specific purpose, turned off the lights, and went underneath my blanket with my hands over my eyes and music at full volume.Whenever stuff like this happens, it is so unpredictable that I don't know how long it will be before I am able to even leave the room, which is why I grabbed my computer and a book. Anyway, I stayed like that for about 5 minutes (2 songs to be exact) before my mom barged in. In my panic I forgot to lock my door. She took one look at me, sighed, and told me to feed the dogs. I told her I needed 15 minutes and she left with while rolling her eyes. I stayed for 4 songs before going up and feeding the dogs. I noticed she was indeed making stir fry.Quick side note: when I have these episodes, I sometimes forget to breathe and have to make a conscious effort to keep air flowing. Once I start to calm down, I can start to focus on the other parts of my body.I went upstairs to feed the dogs. Afterwards I went back to my room and locked the door It's been three hours since then and no one has come in or out of my room. I'm still sitting in the dark, but I don't need the music any longer and I'm starting to get hungry again so that's a good sign that this what I call ""episode"" is almost over.I'm wondering if I completely threw the entire situation out of proportion and I'm an AH or I'm just trying to take care of myself the only way I know how to.",AITA for hiding in my room,NTA
110577c,"Myself and SO of 7 years had our car start shaking while parked and wouldn’t accelerate about a week ago we took it into mechanics they diagnosed the issue and fixed the problem, In doing so they suggested we fix some other problems with our car (I.e they said we had some oil leaks etc and that it would be about 5 gs to get fixed) MIL who had given us a ride to the mechanic decided to take it upon herself to pay for the initial repairs we brought it in for, while appreciated and very thankful let me stress that we did not ask for this aid, upon the mechanics informing us of the further problems and pricing of repairs MIL took control of the situation telling them no but we would get a second opinion (an idea I was fond of ) she suggested we take it to the family mechanic (even better) we took the car to him on he gave it and oil change and said that in doing so it would take care of the leaks (how this works I’m unsure 🫤 ) when myself and MIL picked up the car the “family mechanic “ informed us the “a/c compressor was about to go out and we were lucky he caught it because he just ordered the part and could have it the first of the week “At this point I have a few questions but I shrug them off because hey might as well get things fixed, however he tells us that he will HAVE to do it the first of the week and that he is already doing us a favor because he’s understaffed, I say in that exact moment to both the mechanic and my MIL “No, thank you but that won’t work my SO has school in the morning and I have work we will have to find a better day “ MIL says something along the lines of “well figure it out” and we leave, today while my SO was at work my MIL texts me telling me that we will be taking it to the family mechanic on the first of the week, I didn’t respond and sent a pic of the message to my SO.They weren’t happy and called my MIL to explain we wouldn’t be doing it that day they further argued till MIL hung up. Edit 1:we never said we wouldn’t do the repair and just said the day didn’t work for us",AITA for not listening to my MIL?,NTA
110b1pn,"I 22F used my boyfriend's car with permission while he is away traveling and accidentally scraped the side of it on a low wall.I am a student and need a car sometimes and I'm grateful he lets me use his.I took it to a shop which would do a good job and got a quote, and my mom is willing to lend me some money to fix it. I could get the car fixed before my boyfriend comes back.I am considering not telling him about the incident as a couple of months ago I backed into a bollard and he was very angry with me about it even though I paid to fix it.I am scared he will react badly and not be understanding like last time. I am careful and I'm not a bad driver and this isn't something that happens often.The car is a couple of years old and it is not an expensive one.WIBTA if I never told him and he never asked?",WIBTA for not telling my boyfriend I crashed his car if I fixed it before he knew about it.,YTA
110393t,"Information is intentionally kept vague but feel free to ask clarifying questions.For context: my parents are divorced, and my father has been married twice since they split. In February 2020, his now-third wife moved to the East Coast (my family and I have lived on the West Coast my whole life) and my dad decided he was going to follow her there. By March, just before the pandemic hit, my dad had moved across the country. I turned 18 and graduated in the months following.Now, my father and I have never gotten along well, so we're a bit avoidant/emotionally detached when we spend a prolonged amount of time together. But he is my dad, and I think he does his best to support me from afar. The problem arises when he expects my younger sibling and I to visit him twice a year for extended periods of time– 1-2 weeks every 6 months– while he visits our home state maybe once a year for a weekend if we're lucky. He has an extremely flexible work schedule (he calls himself ""functionally retired"") and his wife, who also has family in my home town, works remotely; time off is not a problem for them.I'm a student, and most of my friends are away for college, including my boyfriend who is abroad. I only get to see them during school breaks, like Summer and Winter holidays, so I like to have those free. The problem is, this is also the only time I'm able to see my dad.I'm grateful for my dad always paying for our trips to see him, but despite living comfortably, he always picks the cheapest flights available– think Spirit or JetBlue. He is also not the most punctual and has dropped us off at the airport late multiple times. Traveling stresses me out on its own, and I have had numerous issues at the airport he flies us in and out of, such as my ID not scanning or my carry-on sized bag getting forcibly checked.Since the last time I saw him in June 2022, I've been using all of the above reasons as excuses not to visit the East Coast again. I honestly have no plans to visit in the foreseeable future, but each time I deny an offer to see him, he makes me feel guilty, joking that he won't be around for much longer, that his state of residence is so much better than the one I grew up in, or that I never make time for him anymore/prefer my friends/boyfriend.In my eyes, he is the one who moved away, so seeing his kids is his responsibility. He should be the one putting effort into travel, especially knowing the issues my sibling and I have run into and how much flying stresses me out. Despite my convictions on the subject, I can't help but feel like I'm abandoning him in some way.TL;DR: My dad moved across the country and expects my sibling and I to visit him while he doesn't make the same effort to visit us. I have started brushing off his questions of when I am going to visit.AITA?",AITA for not wanting to visit my dad?,NTA
10zzmpg,"My (F32) and fiancé (M33) just had a row that resulted in me pouring his last beer down the sink. We were supposed to go out this evening for beer/ cocktails and dancing. However I have been very poorly this past few days and not really out of bed, I am on the mend now but still not enough energy to go out socialising. We have two sons, the baby is currently under review with the DOctor on call as he ate a daffodil today (please don’t ask- different story) and he poisoned himself so that was the nail in the coffin I was DEF in no form for going anywhere. Of course my OH doesn’t understand this and was in a-bit of a sulk. Usually our bedtime routine is the same with OH bathing and settling the baby whilst I do washing and make bottles prep for the night feeds, etc. only tonight my OH was mad keen to go get takeaway food for us & logs for the fire. I was like yeah that’s ok work away, I’ll take over here and proceeded to complete the bedtime routine on my own. An hour later still no food no logs and no word of my man. Then a text comes in shortly after ‘I’m going for one pint’ with a mate who lives 30 miles away who was passing through. I ask how long he will be as our oldest is ‘starving’Reply: “15 mins it’s only one pint’ Note there is a history of this BS I’m only going for few pints then home losses out of his brain 6 hours later.Anyway, he comes home and I have a conversation about drinking and driving and how irresponsible it is. He fucks me off asking am I a policewoman and leaves the room telling me I’m blowing it out of proportion again, etc.His drinking & behaviour/ actions while drinking has caused us to split in the past but I genuinely think he does want to do better. But it only ever lasts so long. I’m so sick of it so I got his last beer out of the fridge, and I poured it down the sink. And he is raging! I must also say I opened th door and told him to watch as I done it. That I wasn’t going to sit back any longer and watch his drinking ruin our family life. So AITA?",AITA for pouring his last beer down the sink?,NTA
110cnws,"I am an equipment operator at a workplace that manages a huge property from groundskeeping to maintenance work. We all do shifts driving the garbage truck on a weekly rotational schedule. It was my week driving last week and there is a stop at one of the workshops that always has the dumpster blocked by contractors vans. I drove by and checked on it on Monday and Tuesday and there were cars blocking the loading bay on both days. I opted not to pick up the garbage instead of dragging 500lbs of industrial trash 100 yards. I went on Wednesday morning first thing and there were vehicles blocking the loading bay. Completed every other stop on my route and went to the shop to fill up on DEF before lunch. When I arrived at the shop one of my managers was there with a pick up with all of the garbage from the stop I had ""skipped"" in the back of the truck. He took the time to yell at me and call me and my partner lazy unintelligent and incompetent before driving off. This manager and I usually get along pretty well... We have similar work ethics and backgrounds. The way he screamed at us did not sit right with me so during lunch I approached him at his table and said verbatim : ""whatever point you try to make while screaming at me is lost regardless of the validity of your statement I expect an apology. Do not talk to me like that again "" he backtracked and apologised pretty sincerely. I completed the day with no complications. Fast forward to Thursday morning and a lot of the guys on crew are saying that I shouldn't have been insubordinate/embarrassed him publicly and should have went to hr or the union to handle it properly. Thing is I know this manager is in hot water for being a hardass (with good reason most of the guys on the job need a firm hand) and I figured instead of complicating things with HR and other unnecessary bs I would go to the man himself to sort out the issues.  I should note that I have a perfect record with the company and the garbage was nowhere near at the capacity of their garbage room at the time he went to pick it up. It would have been done by the end of the week without fail. AITA for sorting it out with him man to man instead of following ""proper"" channels ? No problems between the manager and myself so far but it is causing a lot of contention amongst the guys ( part of me feels like they are a bit mad that I didn't run to the boss like they would have and am receiving flak as a result)Edit: to clarify though it was a public place the conversation was discreet, people found out about our second interaction through him telling them.",AITA for handling a workplace conflict one on one,NTA
110585s,"I (23F) have a roommate (23M) who I have gotten fed up with. He has never had to take care of his own living space before and it shows. For context, I have lived in the unit I currently live in for 2 years now, a year before my roommate moved in. He was OK in the beginning, but has now become lazy and disrespectful towards my things. As I have lived in the unit longer than him, the ENTIRE apartment (besides his room) is furnished by me. That includes the couches, kitchen table, TV, microwave, pots, pans, baking sheets, utensils, bowls and plates, shower curtain, wifi router and modem, I even upgraded the shower head ... you get the idea. I am also the only one who buys cleaning supplies and does the cleaning.He began to make things in one of the pots, and putting the entire pot with food still in it in the fridge. He stopped cleaning off his dirty dishes, even though we have a dishwasher. Then, he would keep a baking sheet in the oven and just reuse it over and over to the point I had to throw it out because of all the baked on grease and food residue. The last straw was when he left literal shit on the toilet seat. I told him I cannot continue our current living situation and because I have lived here longer and I furnished the entire apartment, come next lease agreement he should leave. He then went behind my back to get a new lease agreement sheet from our company where he signed his name on the ""resign"" line (which we both have so sign under ""resign"" or ""no resign"" and hand it in). My apartment complex has told me they will have available unites in our building/complex come next lease term, so he does not need to completely move across town if he does not want to - and I told him such. We have to let our apartment landlords know by March 1 if we are resigning or not. So, WIBTA if I banned my roommate from using anything that is mine? He did not contribute to the buying of any of it and, if he refuses to leave or respect my things, I do not want him to continue to use them.",WIBTA if I banned my roommate from using the apartment furnishings?,NTA
10zyynv,"We've been together for almost 7 years and we moved in together almost 3 years ago. We have a now 9 month old son and only been to his parents house maybe 3-4 times since he was born. Some background, When we decided to move in together his dad made it clear that he wasn't fond of me. He helped my bf move his things into our apartment and coincidentally wore a shirt that says ""i dont get paid enough to like you"". My mom and I both noticed the shirt but made nothing of it since we know he isn't my biggest fan lol. Ever since we moved in together I stopped going over to his parents house on the weekends. He would still go and visit his parents every Saturday and I would occasionally go whenever they had birthdays or on the holidays. His dad would ""mistakenly"" call me by his other DIL name and laugh and say he always gets us confused? Even though she lived with them. Our names aren't even similar so i would laugh it off and ask how he could confuse us when she lived with them (He did this every time i went over). When i became pregnant i made it clear to my bf that I would be the only one taking care of our son (his mom always takes care of his 2 nephews and niece) and that no one will babysit for us until our son is able to talk. That included my parents and any other family members. When we planned our baby shower we also asked his mom& 2 sisters to help us set up the day of and they agreed. The day of they didnt show up until after my baby shower started, we called them at 8am, 11am & both times they said they were on their way. They had to bring the center pieces for each table and some goodies that we had left at their house. Everytime I bake something or take fruit over his parents and sisters don't touch it until my bf tells them to try it. I am still breastfeeding so his mom gave me a formula holder so i can leave him there? She has given us used clothes( i dont mind) BUT they are either faded or have holes. I jokenly told her infront of my bf that we will gladly take used clothes but to not send clothes that not even goodwill will sell. Idk why i even try to be liked anymore. If they don't like me why should i take our son over to visit. Oh i forgot to mention we live 12-15mins away and they are welcomed to come over anytime to visit their grandson. But his mom told him that she doesn't  like going over to other peoples homes. So AITAH for not taking our son to his parents house?",AITAH for not taking my son to his grandparents house (boyfriends parents)?,NTA
110g863,"I(37F) moved approx. 6 hours away from where all my family lives about 4 years ago when I got married. Since I moved, I have ensured we visit every few months. When we do, we stay at my parent’s house (needed for context later).Since meeting my wife, I’ve stated taking my health more seriously (I have MS). So, I live a g/f, dairy free life. I don’t eat red meat and only on a rare occasion will I consume pork. My wife, having hidradenitis suppurativa (HS), follows the same diet plan. My WHOLE family is aware!My family was gathering for vacation, and before gathering there was never a discussed plan about food. Honestly, I assumed we would eat out. Upon arriving to the location, my sister informed me that my parents, had gone to the store to get “enough food to cook for everyone for the next two days” with the first meal being burgers. When my mom arrived home with groceries, I realized it was 100% beef. After talking it over with my wife, we figured, we would be okay to eat it since, it’s not an often thing. We ate bunless burgers and initially felt okay. Overnight, that was not the case. Lots of cramping, bowel movements and internal discomfort. Plenty of shots of pepto were taken the following morning and day.The next day, when I realize that for dinner, my mother planned to make pulled beef sliders, I pulled her aside and said “We can’t do the beef again. Our stomachs have been killing us. I’m gonna grab some fish from the store and salad for us.“.You would have thought is spit in her face. After I cooked, and my wife and I were eating, my sister and I peeped that my mom was incredibly distant and making snide remarks like “I can’t keep up with all these changes.” And “I hope the rest of y’all can try and enjoy what I made”. I wasn’t trying to hurt her feelings, I just wanted to not feel like crap. So, AITA?",AITA for not eating the food my mother cooked?,NTA
10zzu0v,"I have worked and been the main person that does housework, cooking and looking after our children in the house. He used to mention regularly that something needs doing eg the washing up or the kids bedroom. However, because I would always get irritated because he doesn’t do as much as me domestically, he stopped mentioning things as much. These occurrences would either be a mini lecture, a sly dig that it’s a pig sty, or ‘a joke’ that only he finds funny! So tonight he made ‘a joke’ that when we move house, he hopes there’s not going to be as much washing everywhere! I rolled my eyes and said ‘when we move, I hope he doesn’t talk as much’. Which he didn’t appreciate and said all he’s just stating is facts! I went on to ask him if he sees what I do in the day, and that the amount of washing is constant which I don’t always have time to put away. I then tried to leave the convo as it wasn’t productive…he carried on stating his facts so I told him to read the room and stop before it turns into a bicker…..his response, was a barrage of why I get emotional, how he doesn’t know why I’m so sensitive about cleaning, why I get so angry, defensive, he can’t talk to me about things that are important to him and him not understanding my behaviours, because when it comes down to it, I should be considerate that I live with someone who likes a tidy house. I should also be happy as he knows for a FACT that he does more than most men. Can I just add that I have come home from work and dinner has not been cooked, so have been in the kitchen cooking for my family in my uniform, on many occasions….I never have a go or nag when roles are reversed! Anyway, thought I’d just ask AITA?! 🤷🏽‍♀️",AITA for getting annoyed when hubby mentions house work needs doing?!,NTA
110g30o,"My husband (Nico) has a best friend from middle school (Allen) who I've known as long as I've known my husband which is basically going on 11years now. We started as friends dated for 5 years been married for 2. Allen is my age but acts alot more like a frat boy. My husband is also alot silly especially when with his friends but he's definitely the dad in the group. And has issues saying no.Since I've gotten pregnant it's been a very difficult pregnancy with me in alot of pain and alot less patience. Nico hasn't been going out as much which i appreciate but Allen takes advantage alot.Like this week how we were at a family bday dinner for my aunt and Allen went to a different town over the weekend. He didn't plan on how he was coming back home even tho he had a car the whole weekend but decided to stay an extra day missing work.To call Nico at 8pm asking him to come fetch him which was an hour's drive away and we were having misty and heavily rainy weather. So i got pissed and said NO.I told him A is 29! It's a terrible idea driving in this weather into the mountains at night during a power outage no less. I told him idc how Allen gets home he should've made a plan. He's grown! To which my husband agreed and didn't go fetch him which Allen was pissed about. Yesterday he tld me he had made plans with Allen to go see a game tomorrow so he wnt be around for alot of tomorrow because of it. I said cool I'm visit my family then. Nico calls me from work saying he wanted to go out with A.  told him it's fine bt i wont see him tomorrow really so he shldnt be too late i wanted to spend some time with him. He said he wont be and i jokingly said Allen needs to learn he can't monopolize all your weekend free time.My aunt having heard this while i was visiting her today has the running joke in my family being that i should make place in our bed for Allen because he's basically a 3rd in our marriage asked if they were gonna go out again. I just said yes. And my aunt kinda just said i shldnt let Allen come between my husband and I with his bullshit.Which i think my husband might have heard because he just said bye after and dropped the call.My family has heard many a instances of their recklessness even from both of them that they thought were just unbecoming or worrysome. Trouble rn is Nico went out with Allen and a bunch of friends showed up at my aunts and looked very grumpy. Telling me he's gona go drop a friend and come bk to fetch me. My aunt made a comment when she saw Allen saying ""oh the bf is here again"" which my husband didnt look very happy about. Then came bk in with Allen in tow and said no he's gonna let Allen take the friend home and we can go. I got my things and when i got outside Allen was asking me wtf i said to Nico that made him change his mind and i said i said nothing and he huffed off. We got into the car in silence and my husband went straight to the room and slept. Am i being irrationally emotional?",AITA (28F) for being fed up with my husband's (31M)bestfriend?,NAH
10zuxpc,"For a little context. My father passed away some years ago, and I inherited the house. My parents weren't married and me and my husband didn't wanna kick her out of her own home, and there's space enough, so she lives with us.Now for the potial AH part.My mom and my husband often have spats, and a lot of these could easily have been avoided honestly, as they both often misunderstand each other. Regardless, whenever any of these spats happen, he goes straight to me and bombards me with ""this is why I don't like your mom!"" And demands I go talk with her and make her apologise, not caring why she said what she did - even if I tell him he misunderstood, or that he had it coming for whatever reason. And I'm SICK of it. It feels like he wants me to be his mommy and tell off another kid at school.Today I told him no more. I'm DONE being the mediator between the two. He always directs his anger towards me and gets angry if I don't 100% agree with him. ""I'm your husband, you should agree with me"".He of course got angry and said something to the effects of ""why can't you just do this for me?"" And I simply told him, that it wasn't my fight and that I refuse to be in the middle of it anymore.My mother never expects me to be the go-between and doesn't understand why he doesn't go straight to her either. In fact she often bites her tongue with him and when she can't she always apologises to me after, because she know I have to deal with it.So AITA?",AITA for refusing to be the mediator anymore?,NTA
110fykd,"Context: I (21F lesbian) plan to marry my fiance (20 Nonbinary) in about a year or so. My sister would be overjoyed to attend this wedding, but I'm not entirely comfortable inviting her. Me and my partner are both in the LGBT community, and my sister assures us over & over how much she supports us / the community, and that she has ""no problem with gay people, my best friend is gay!"" but she has made multiple comments over the years that make me question how far that support goes. Examples:Once, she told me how ""absolutely mortified"" she would be if her son turned out gay, and she gets extremely annoyed at any insinuation that he could be. She even forbade him from wearing earrings because she thinks it would make him look gay. Her oldest son often says: ""I don't think she hates LGBT people, but she REALLY doesn't want me or my brother to end up gay"" which I found super uncomfortable. Once, she ranted about Stranger Things, and how she hates that gay characters are ""Shoved in her face"" by Hollywood all the time, and that it really gets under her skin. She also openly supports Florida's 'Don't Say Gay Bill'. I asked her to elaborate on that, and she struggled to respond. Basically saying that ""Sexuality stuff just isn't for kids to hear about"" this really hurt me, because I was a gay 5th grader who could have really benefited from that education about myself, especially because other kids were telling me I'd burn in hell! I don't think kids should be learning about gay sex or anything crazy, but maybe just ""Sometimes boys like boys and girls like girls"" would suffice, but she still disagreed. Once, we watched a true crime episode about a trans woman who was brutally beaten, murdered, and mutilated for lying to a hookup about her genitals. My sister's first comment? ""Well, you shouldn't really lie about stuff like that. I wouldn't want to sleep with someone that has a vag."" She's usually very empathetic, emotional, and invested in true crime which made this comment insanely out of character for her. Even her daughter was surprised. She later expressed how bad she felt for the victim, but it was so odd that her first comment was defending the killer! Once, I was venting to her about how our grandma was homophobic and didn't support me. My sister's response? ""well, the Bible does say being gay is a sin, but it's not okay for her to say that. When we die, we all have to answer for our sins, but that's God's job not hers"" which sounds supportive, but my sister basically admitted that she believes my existence is a sin that i'll have to answer for when I die. This made me extremely uncomfortable. There's about 500 more of these comments, some worse, but I'm sparing you all the text space. I know my sister would love to come to the wedding, she would cherish the memories for years. I know that by not inviting her it will create conflict between us, which is why I'm torn. On one hand, the things she's said about people like me and my partner are disconcerting, but on the other hand, should she really be deprived of her siblings' wedding? Am I the asshole if I chose not to invite her?",AITA for not inviting my sister to my wedding?,NTA
110ftad,"I (18 turning 19y female) am currently studying a degree in university, its a 3 year course and im doing full time. It’s been my dream for years to study in this course and naturally I enjoy it very much. I live with my parents and they’ve been really supportive with my uni, I do love them very much. Last year, during the mid semester break, my parents wanted to go overseas (to visit) since all of my family lives there and we hadn’t gotten to visit them due to covid and such. And it was a very exciting idea as I hadn’t seen my cousins in about 4 years and we got the plane tickets and such. So far so goodWe arrived and was greeted at the airport and such and went to my grandma’s house (mother’s side) because thats where we stay everytime we go overseas. We had a good time - we stayed overseas for about a month and saw everyone and even got to travel more this time around - but when it was time to go back - me and my sister at least - my dad had to go back earlier than us due to his job and my mum wanted to stay a bit more since its her parents and siblings and she wanted to spend more time - my little brother also stayed with her since he is too young for me or my sis (16y) to take care of with our schools going on - so once it was time for me and my sister to go back, my mum started to cry and say things like “u can stay with me, we can start a new life here, there’s nothing for us in that country (the one we live in)” - also she’s been wanting to move back overseas for years and i dont blame her, its her family after all, and its not easy to travel back and forth between countries since its like a 20 hour flight (with in between stop of course but yea, not easy) and expensive.Me and my sis felt that we couldnt just move back since the education overseas compared to the country we live in is more harder and we’ve both forgotten the language a bit and would never survive in the schools there, and besides; the course i currently study in doesnt exist overseas and if it does, its not in the better uni’s (which means i’d have a very hard time finding a job and continuing to live with what i’d be earning) + i already have a life and friends (and its not easy for me to make friends)I felt really bad (still do) but i came back to the country we live in (my mum chose not to use her return ticket and my brother is naturally upset - poor him) and told my mum that i would move to overseas after i am done with my uni (its only 3 years as i said and i already finished the first year) and after a bit of convincing she reluctantly agreed and said she respects my decision However, she still continues making little comments here and there, and i understand that she does it because she misses us and i miss them too but i also wanna finish my studies So AITA for not staying with her and wanting to pursue my dream?",AITA for not moving overseas with my mum?,NTA
1102gjj,"So it all begins with my father, I always get my brother when my father asks to pick him up unless I have plans or something then he has to, I don't really remember how the conversation started but we were talking about gas prices and how insane they are, well he decided to add ""by the way if taking your brother around to work starts getting to expensive just start asking him for gas money""I was kinda taken aback from this statement and kinda laughed it off at first, but he wasn't laughing. So I said ""are you crazy? if anything I should be asking you for gas money since your the one who always asks me to pick him up"" I was a bit harsh in my tone but the statement still rings trueWe then proceeded to argue who owes who money, to which he said he needs to learn the value of money, which I find bogus cause he never charged me money when I needed a ride to work.My step mother is siding with my father saying that even if I was right it did not mean I had a right to be rude and tell him hes crazy. while my girlfriend and her family agrees that they're being a little to harsh. Am I missing something? Like I feel like he's being a bit of a AH to my brother, but I guess calling him crazy didn't help either. So reddit aita?EditMy brother is 17, and I am 20The distance to his work is about a mile as well",AITA for telling my parents they're crazy for asking me to get gas money from my younger brother?,NTA
1109oaf,"​About six months ago I've made a new group of friends. Every other week we hang out to drink, go to BBQs, go to the movies, play videogames, etc. None of us is rich, we always split the bills, and we've never had a money problem between ourselves.Sometimes we go out all of us togheter, sometimes it's only a few. For example, once a few of us tried to go to a game, but in the end only I and Tiana (not her real name) got the schedule for it.  At the time she was broke, and I didn't want to go alone, so I offered mylself to buy her ticket, and I made sure that she knew that it was a gift and that she didn't have to pay me back; she didn't owed my aything at all. No problem there, we went and had a very good time together.Is noteworthy that I use to give my other friends in the group some gifts aswell: I bought one of them a xmas gift, the other i gifted a birthday cake, and another I gave a birthday gift (it's not usual to do that here, it was the only birthday gift he recieved that day) So, last week we were hanging out after work and we were drinking, and I made a joke about that one time Tiana and I went to a game and she never paid me back the ticket. It wasn't fun, the joke didn't land, but ok, fair game, I was expecting Tiana to play along, to say that it was a gift and that I said to her that she didn't had to pay me anything. Instead, she was furious that I brought that up, and said she would transfer me the money on the spot.  I refused to give her my account information and I said to her to chill out, said I was only joking, but she wasn't having none of that; she was really hurt. Tiana somehow managed to transfer me the money and stormed out, barely saying goodbye, and immediately blocked me on all social media. I didn't got to speak to her since.I feel very sorry about what I've said and more so that I've never had the chance to apologize to her. It never crossed my mind that money was this serious of an issue to her, or that I would've hurt her by being jokingly unfair.So, AITA for ""charging"" my friend for a gift?",AITA for joking about my friend owing me a gift that I gave her?,YTA
10zwrwx,"I (18M) lost my mom in 2016 so im living now with my brother (32) and his wife (34). I’m a full-time high school [HS] student and part-time line cook. I have been using ovens, stoves, etc since i was like 10. Im also an aspiring chef and im going to be taking foods courses after graduation (that I will be paying for). 3 of the 7 courses i take in HS require me to be in the kitchen cooking so I cook often outside of home (work, school, girlfriend’s house, etc). 3 years ago i used to cook with a griddle every morning. I would use the griddle to make breakfast every weekday. Roughly 3 times in the span of a year i forgot to unplug the griddle, one of those times leaving it on. Because of this i had to ask to use any appliance other than the microwave (that includes toaster, air fryer, stove-top, water kettle). Since this i have not used said griddle or left any burner, oven, air fryer, etc on or plugged in. This somewhat made sense when i A. Didnt have a job that required me out of the house until 11pm and B. Didnt have friends to hang out with until 11-12-ish. Its been 3 years. I as well as my brother and his wife have in person jobs. Bro and his wife go to bed at roughly 9-10. I am not very loud and do not wake them up often if at all. Because of my work schedule, the only times i can cook/shower are at night. To cook, i have to use an appliance. To use an appliance i have to ask. I cannot ask if they are asleep. I Also cannot cook if they are going to sleep; again noise is not the issue. Just today i was told that they were going to a super-bowl party for the weekend and will be gone for two days. Usually this means i would have to sleep at wife’s mother’s house however, this time I will be able to be alone. (yes, I am also not allowed to be home alone). They have told me that they have purchased cameras and will be watching me while they are gone. This means from now until I move out at the end of the school year (6 months), I will not be able to 1. Cook when i get home from work. 2. Be up passed 12 (again not due to noise). 3. Smoke (I smoke after they sleep, outside so there is no smell). 4. Bring my gf over when they are not home. This does not cover the 11 curfew (not for noise purposes), not being allowed to shower when they are not home, not being able to get a free check up at a doctor’s office without asking, not being able to look for somewhere to live after HS without telling them, not being able to go to work without giving them my schedule, and more! TLDR; line cook leaves griddle on so he now cannot use cooking appliances at home. Guardian purchases a camera because cannot be home alone. Im a legal adult and he is my blood brother yet I am treated as if though i am 12 years old. AITA for wanting to make dinner for myself and relax after work?",AITA for using the stove?,NTA
110ba88,"My friend of 6 years I used to work with and I have always discussed work together and it helps alleviate a lot of stress.. we have always discussed this topic. At one point she got a boyfriend and stopped working, I stated to her that I know she won’t want to hear about me talking about work anymore and I was okay with that. I’m fine to not talk about work, but she pulled me back in and stated that I could infact keep talking to her it. I just accepted what she said and did that.. would vent from time to time.. over the next year or so there were times where I could tell she maybe didn’t want to hear about it anymore and I mentioned if she didn’t want me to talk about it anymore to her it’s okay, all she has to do is tell me and I’m cool with it. She again assured me and encouraged me to talk to her about work and it’s fine. She’s also mentioned to me recently she wants to work again, so all aroundI’m kind of getting the impression that she’s okay with hearing about this. Just a few nights ago I was venting to her about my work day, I was really stressed because I was wondering if I should leave my work or not. She suddenly snapped on me and told me that she’s not interested in hearing about my work anymore because she finds it ‘tiring and always negative.’ She said a few other things too that had me a bit off kilter, I pointed out that I have mentioned before to her that if she Doesnt want to hear about my work anymore it’s more than fine with me.. I was a little confused because I had always stated that I was cool and okay with that. She stated she does remember me asking if she minds a few times and her feelings have changed, she went on to say she knows I’m just venting but she still Doesnt care and it gives her second hand stress hearing about my work stories, and she knows that if it half stresses her out that it must stress me even more but she still just didn’t care and didn’t want to hear it anymore. She also told me that she doesn’t work anymore and that she’s moved on with her life and therefore she Doesnt want to hear about work anymore and she hopes that one day I can move on too..I have no problem with her not wanting to hear about my work.. the problem I do have is I found her to be very insulting and rude to me. She seemed to act like she had no idea why I was speaking to her in the first place and that it should stop..I began trying to console her feelings and let her know I wasn’t telling her these things about my work because I wanted her to think of me as tiring or negative.. that was never my intention.. I also told her I felt bad and stupid, and also mentioned I wouldn’t have said anything about my work night to her had she told me sooner that she didn’t want to hear it. It felt very weird, and I felt like she snapped on me like an animal would. I don’t feel okay at all..  I feel like I was made to feel bad about myself just for talking to her..",AITA for talking to a friend about my problems.,NTA
110el5r,"So… my boyfriend is the love of my life. I can’t imagine to be ever without him. He is kind, mostly understanding and would change the whole world for me.I love him so much. Sometimes we talk about physics or other stuff, when I need help in my studies. He is very very smart and a lot smarter than I ever could be. He loves to talk about politics, physics and other stuff that is for me sometimes hard to understand. And also for our friend group.We all were in a call together and the mood was quite low. Many of us were bored because we had nothing to do. My boyfriend decided to break the silence and began to talk about this Reddit post about the immortal snail that hunts you (you are also immortal) and when it touches you, you will die.He was so sweet. He wanted to entertain us and was so excited about that whole thing. So… here it comes. He started reading the Reddit post to us but I couldn’t understand a whole sentence. It was not because of him. It was because I have some issues in understanding English just by hearing. No matter who reads it. It’s because of the different pronunciations and accents every person has (English is not our first language).My huge mistake was that I asked him in front of the group to translate the text because I don’t understand the text if he reads it. (because of the reason I wrote over here)Our friends laughed a lot because I fronted him in that way. I didn’t want to hurt him. I just wanted to participate to the discussion after he read the text. I know why he was mad at me. He was so excited and I ruined the topic for him because of this. And because of that I ruined the whole evening for him too. I am so sorry…. But I didn’t meant it that way.So… Am I the asshole?",AITA for asking my boyfriend to translate instead of reading aloud a text in English?,NTA
110078s,"Hi,So me and my girlfriend are currently doing LDR, going strong, almost 1 year. In 2 months she is coming to visit me in my home city for 2 weeks, and I haven't seen her since mid-January. Her older brother, who lives in a country near me (she lives other side of the world) wants to come to visit her whilst she is in London. I understand, she hasn't seen him since July and due to his work VISA doesn't certainly know when she'd see him again.When she comes, we are going to rent an Airbnb together for the 2 weeks, however now with her brother coming she asked me if I could move out for the 2 nights he's here for, and that after I come back. I was kind of upset, because I thought we could stay the three of us since she hasn't seen me in a few months either and I'm her boyfriend. I suggested we could get a mattress or something for him but she said the Airbnb is only for 2 so she can't risk it. (She reserved it). I felt a bit upset and she said she understands but is frustrated that I can't understand her predicament. We left the conversation kind of cold, because I feel upset I have to move out now but at the same time I suppose I understand. I just wish sometimes she'd prioritise me in front of people, but she told me its not like that. I haven't spoke to her in a little while now since we left the conversation with tension. AITA? Should I be more understanding?",AITA for being reluctant at letting my girlfriend's brother stay in my place?,ESH
110ebf3,"I (19) was just getting some water from our electric water dispenser, then my mom called my dad, who was on his phone scrolling on Facebook, asked him to help her out with something, I went back to my room after getting my water, then all of a sudden, my dad called me to get out and help both my parents in putting aside the clothes from our clothesline cause it was starting to rain, then complains because I was on my phone and it was so irritating to him, then said a few bad words while my mom chided him to settle down...when he was on his phone for several minutes, he only got this attention when my mom called him to set the  clothes aside since it was raining...First of all, how would he know that I'm on my phone at that moment, when I was literally outside getting my water. Second, I didn't even know it was starting to rain or even drizzle, none of us even knew until my mom said it was. Not to be uptight or petty or anything, but like, shouldn't he, be too much assuming that I'm doing something that I'm not even doing at the time? When he clearly was on his phone, cause it's really contradictory to be honest...When I asked dad why did he called me, he was about to say that I shouldn't be on my phone and I have to do some responsibilities around the house, he's acting like that should be my responsibility, when at the time I didn't even know that it was raining till my mom said it was, I immediately respond to him that 'I was literally getting my water, that's why I was outside' and he didn't respond to that, nor even apologize for assuming something that I'm not even doing at the time...Now, I feel uneasy and uncomfortable, of the stress that I just witnessed onto me, because now I'm thinking, did I do something wrong when I wasn't? Should that be my responsibility, when I did not know what was happening? It's not like I have the ability to see the future every second??So, WIBTA that I'm a bit offended by this? Or AITA on this one? Cause it's really stressing me out to the point I feel uncomfortable while typing this-Like it seems like its my fault for not knowing that it was raining, and have put the clothes aside our clothesline, when it wasn't even my fault at that moment?",WIBTA that I got offended when my dad bad mouthed me for no reason for not putting aside the clothes from our clothesline?,ESH
1102qn2,"So I'm 24, and been living with my mother for all my life. My parents got separated when I was 2 years old, they never got in touch again and made their own lives by their own, but to the eyes of the law they are still married.They have been using me as a messenger for every cocern related to money or any studies expense I might require (since they can't handle talking to each other) like the university grade I made few years ago or any special event that could take place in school when I was a child.I never liked the situation but since it was the way we did it I never complained.This is changing now, I finally signed a contract and Im planning to move to my own place, Ive been looking for it for the last years but things are not too easy in my field of studies. After knowing this, my father told me that he will stop sending my mother the compensatory money required by the contract they signed with their separation. He asked me to tell her about that and about the fact that he needs to get to divorce her in order to stop sending the money.As always I told her, and she asked me to reply my father about some conditions she has for their divorce.I also did that and the negociation begun. After one more interaction by each side I told them that I want them to discuss about it, letting me aside. I don't want to be part of this process it's not my business and it generates me a huge mental stress. Ive been seeing psycologists in these regards since I was 5, lately Im in my best moment related to my mental health and I felt the courage to tell them I need to stop being their messenger.They both acted defensive and even my mother said that ""Im not doing that much"" so I shouldn't be so concerned, I wonder if AITA for asking them to talk like the adults they are. Time is passing by and they stopped asking me to take part on their discussion, but it is also certain that they are not talking about it by themselves and their negociation is currently on ""stand by"".",AITA for telling my parents I don't want to negociate their divorce?,NTA
10zufpe,"Posted from a throwaway as I don’t want this linked to my normal account For context I (31F) have been with my partner (33M) for almost 5 years. My partner vaped when we first met but told me he was in the process of quitting by weaning to a lower concentration and frequency. Fast forward to 3 months ago and we are engaged, own a home together, and are talking about buying a bigger house and having kids within the next couple of years. We decided to sit down and plan out a budget to help us reach these goals. This included a $150 monthly allowance for each of us. This is money we can spend on ourselves for whatever we want without needing to run it by the other partner first.Last night we sat down to go through our last few months and see if the budget is serving us well or if there’s changes we should make. While calculating everything I realized he’s gone over his “allowance” all 3 months. I pointed this out and he said there was no way because he’s been tracking it each month and showed me his note in his phone. I pointed out that on top of what was in the note he was spending between 70-100 dollars a month on vape supplies. He immediately said he doesn’t count that because it’s a necessity and not something he can just stop to save money. I countered that if he was still making an active effort to quit that I may agree with that but he’s not. He told me he doesn’t want to quit because he enjoys it. I told him I have no issue with him vaping, I wouldn’t have started dating him in the first place if I did, however if he’s admittedly making no effort to quit because he likes it than it’s not a necessity it’s a hobby and should be considered part of his fun money not part of our necessities. He got upset and stated he feels it’s unfair but couldn’t give me any real reason as to why. I argued that what’s unfair is him getting more spending money than me because “it’s an addiction” when he’s not trying to quit. I said that he either needs to actually be making an effort to quit, consider it part of his allotted $150, or we can increase both of our allowances so that it’s still a fair balance. He said he would think about it and then was in a sour mood for the rest of the night and left for work before I woke up this morning. Now I’m second guessing myself because it’s not like I need more than the $150 a month and that was working for me until I found out about his vape expenses. So AITA?",AITA for not considering my partners vape supplies a necessity,NTA
110cv3m,"So for contex: I (15F) have been diagnosed with severe scoliosis by the time I was two months old, there are a lot of things I can’t do to this day even normal stuff like carrying your backpack, playing certain sports, and a ton of other things I’ll probably never be able to do. I even had to wear a brace (I started wearing it when I was 4 years old up until I turned 12) it wasn’t your average brace either, it was meant to be tight so that it’d keep everything in place and prevent more curvature which would basically suffocate me in a way. I couldn’t bend my back or kneel or even be comfortable while I had it on for most of the day. I just lived with it though I guess.Today, i was casually picking my neighbors daughter I’ll call her A (8F) from her class, I have to pick her up everyday since she goes to the same school and their place is like right next to ours. We get to the car and everything  goes the way it is. Once we arrive, my brother grabs his bag. He was talking about how heavy it was and then asked her if she could try carrying it, I was just watching them since i was waiting for my mom to get out of the car. She picks the bag up with her arm but since it was too heavy she instantly dropped it, my brother and I both laughed slightly and then he said “I told you that you couldn’t carry it” or something like that, and then she responds with “well I have scoliosis anyways I can’t carry heavy things or my bag (not the bag she just carried that’s my brothers bag, her bag is very very light like it’s basically empty) “. That’s when I started getting  upset, her curve is only 6 degrees which isn’t really considered scoliosis (in order for a curve to be considered scoliosis it must be over 10 degrees). I didn’t say much except for “ well your curve is only 6 degrees that isn’t even scoliosis.” And she responded with “well my mom said it was” she also said something else but I forgot what it was but I didn’t respond after it and just went home. I told my mom about it and she said I was overreacting and that it’s because her mom is way too worried and that it’s just a kid and I shouldn’t let it get to me, but it just really upset me. I’ve been dealing with this condition for as long as I can remember and it’s really affected the way I live and my childhood in general. I’ve always been made fun of for it and treated differently I just wish I never had to deal with it, nobody ever understands what I’m going through. Seeing someone just act like this pisses me off and hurts me since she also tends to use it as an advantage. I don’t really care if it’s a kid or not even though I didn’t say much it still really bothered me. I know I sound petty and almost selfish I’m probably going to get comments like “oh wel you aren’t the only person with scoliosis “ and I know I’m not obviously, but she doesn’t even have it. For fucks sake a six degree curve is normal!! Its not scoliosis it’s not even close, it could escalate into scoliosis but I doubt it will anytime sooner. AITA?Edit: I realized how terribly I worded things and I left out some bits, I never acted on my anger nor was I really that anger I’m upset yeah, but upset as In hurt I guess. Her mom took her to the doctor and he said she doesn’t have it and that six degrees is normal it might escalate into scoliosis but the chances of that are really low in her case, If I were to be angry id be angry at her mom she always brings it up and uses it to guilt trip my mom and I even though she knows I actually do have scoliosis and how hard it was on my mom and I (it isn’t as hard anymore though) like for example A literally broke our tv once and they used it as an excuse it’s a bit outlandish but that’s literally what they always do they always use it as an excuse for the most unnecessary things when everyone knows by now she doesn’t have it the mom also insists As brother has it as well when none of their curves have reached 10 degrees (it’s considered scoliosis by the time it reaches ten degrees) and the doctor debunked both of them having it",AITA for getting upset at my neighbors kid?,YTA
1106t5t,"i (22F) have a childhood best friend (24M) called nick, me and nick met through our parents as they were friends through high-school. nick and my brother (25M) Leo, don’t have such a good friendship. they haven’t liked each-other since they met. Leo met a new girl at his workplace (29F) and he introduced her to me, nick, our parents and nicks parents. a few weeks later, Leo came home and sat on the couch and cried. my mother comforted him and i asked what was wrong.Leo explained that his girlfriend and him had broke up and nick and she was in a relationship now. i stood up and walked out of the living room. my mother followed after me and yelled at me for not comforting my brother. i explained that he had no reason to cry, him and his girlfriend broke up she had a right to move on. i spoke to nick and he confirmed they were dating. my brother went through a depression stage for over a month. soon later, nick and the girl broke up. i started hanging around with nick again and my brother got pissed at me. my brother suggested to my mum to throw me out. my mum later threw me out with 2 hours to pack and find a place to stay. my grandma offered for me to stay with her. im sat in my grandmas guest room writing this, im still confused if im the asshole.update 1:reading some of these comments saying im the asshole, i understand why some may think that. i know im the asshole for walking out on my brother when he was heartbroken, since growing up my brother has been an attention seeker. i assumed he lied about it and his girlfriend did deserve to move on if it was right anyways. my mother and brother have sent me multiple texts agreeing to let me back home if i end my friendship with nick. i don’t know if i should end my friendship with someone I’ve been friends with my whole life just to go back home and have to look after my “heartbroken” brother. it was a over a month ago, i don’t know what to do anymore if i should end my friendship to go back to my family. i would just receive the same abuse from my brother. as when he was in his depression phase he was extremely rude to me and my mother. some may wonder where my dad comes into this. my dad has not said a word to me since all this has happened, growing up i was always a daddy’s girl but my dad loves my mum and cant stand up to her.",AITA for taking my best friends side over my brothers?,YTA
110cdzl,"AITA for not wanting to be corrected while doing chores?I (43m) share household chores with my wife (39f) and often when I do them she comes behind me and basically checks my work and feels the need to correct my “errors” and tell me how I can do a better job. A good example of this is when I do the dishes, she likes to explain to me how I’m not positioning them correctly to get maximally cleaned. The fairly constant corrections/critiques drives me crazy, but to be fair to her I’m not the most detailed oriented person or the best cleaner. I also admit that I can be over sensitive.Our core argument goes like this:Me: I hate being constantly critiqued by you when I’m doing chores. It makes me feel like you’re my boss and not my wife. If you don’t like the way I’m going to do something and can’t live with it without correcting me then you shouldn’t let me do it in the first place.Her: You need to be more open to criticism. Don’t you want to do chores in a way that will make me happy?I do love my wife and want to make her happy, but there’s a part of me that revolts at having my work checked and feeling like I need constant correction. AITA?",AITA for not wanting to be corrected/critiqued when I do household chores?,NTA
10zygnp,For context I am in my mid 20s and have a good relationship with my mother/family. My mother is doing well for herself and runs a sucessful buisness.Five years ago I paid off my mother's housing loan. It worked out quite well as she had around 5 years left to pay and the amount was around the same that I had in the bank. This allowed her to avoid the bank and instead started paying me back. I did not have need for the money at the time and this meant that she did not need to make monthly payments to the bank. The loan was paid back after the 5 years. I was able to lend her the money beacuse i inheriteted a somewhat large sum when I turned 18.Now I am in the situation that me and my gf are trying to get into the housing market. I will be finishing my degrees at university in 1.5 years and my gf still has some years to go. We will lose our student housing in 1.5 years. I live in a captial area in scandinavia and the housing market her is crazy expensive. We have a decent amount saved up but are still a bit off from being able to pay for something that could be comfortable and would work for kids in the future.I have mentioned to my mother that perhaps she would be able to give me a loan as she has completly paid off her house and her buisness is still doing well. Whenever I have brought this topic up she has been quick to let me know that she would not be able to help us finacially/providing a loan. I have insights into her financial situation and do not see a reason for why she would not be able to provide this as she has no other major loans.This has left me quite baffeld as I am pretty much asking for the same loan that I gave her 5 years ago and she seemingly refuses to lend any help. This has made me somewhat recentful and I feel it is slowly eating away at our otherwise good relationship. This had had me wondering if I am the asshole for expecting her to help me or if she is in the wrong. I will be happy to flesh out details and questions in the comments.,AITA For expecting my mother to give me a loan after I gave her a loan?,YTA
11063aq,"(Sorry if the format is scrunkly, im writting on mobile)I (19f), live with my mom (40f) and currently dont live with my grandma (73f) anymore for some years, but i have lived with her for most of my life.in recent years ive noticed a lot of bad things she has done to me, on purpose or not.she has done wonderful things as well, and thats why i still love her, but her behaviour is not healthy.we as a family have no idea if she has any kind of disorder, but she says insensible things, gets offended, changes opinions on topics with months of difference (religion, for example) and all of that depends on her mood, wich of course we all change our mood, but she makes everyone around her stressed whe she feels bad.the thing is, last month, a plumber was coming to our house, i accidentaly slept in so my mom was trying to call me but due to a bad conversation the day before she tought i could not be answering because i was mad at her, so she called my grandma for her to call me instead, i didnt answer neither cause i was asleep.full context is my grandma was going out so she started to get worked up about recieving my moms call and her plans for the day, wich made her upset.then as i have allready let the plumber in, i get a call from my mom, who was slightly mad at me but understood that i wouldnt have a discussion with a visit in the house so we ended the call.then i call my grandma to explain her why i didnt answer, thst i slept in and that im ok.she started to explain me how she fought with my mom and started nagging me for not answering and causing problems, i told her it wasnt my fault and she said it was my fault that they fought, i repeated to her that i wouldnt argue by the phone cause i had a visit, to wich she answered: “Ha!, as if you were that decent”in wich i, paraphrasing said “ok, grandma” and hung up, i dont remember if i told her something else.this is not the first time she changes her opinion about me, sometimes im a smart, intelligent, and pretty girl, other times im a manipulative degenerate (her words in different occasions)manipulative depending on the topic but degenerate is new, cause im gay.after some days from that situation i get a call from her, we tend to call to know how we are doing since we live very far apart now, but this time i was feeling offended by her treatment so i decided to let it it go to voicemail.some minutes later i recieved a message from her with sometimes close to the lines of “hey… i just wanted to know how you were doing… thats it” or something like hat, with suspensive points and everything.this is not an emergency but i dont know if i should start treating her nicely again, becuase even if she feels bad this is not the first time im affected by howhever she feels in the moment, and she doesnt tend to apologize, this wouldnt hurt me normally but the main issue is i still love her as my grandma.please dont say no contant, for the most extreme out there, cause i would have to talk to her some moment or another.​AITA for not wanting to speak to her?​thank you for reading.(edit: i forgot to mention she blamed me for the fight with my mom)",AITA for not wanting to apeak to my grandma?,NTA
1102us1,"I went to a birthday party with my most recent ex partner, who is also my friend. I went outside and joked about running away from them when they came outside, which made them upset. However, instead of telling me, they sat outside sobbing, and then they yelled at me for not knowing it would upset them. I got angry because I'm not a mind reader, and I don't know why they expected me to be one. They said that they ruined the party but quickly calmed down after being reassured by the host that it was okay. They apologized for lashing out at me and said that it was wrong, and I agreed and said that I did not forgive them. They got angry and repeated, ""I ruined everything,"" even though they had already been convinced otherwise. I even heard them having fun before they came to apologize.It felt like manipulation to me, and so I told them that I wasn't sorry for not accepting their apology or feeling like they were trying to guilt trip me. AITA?",AITA for not forgiving my friend?,ESH
10zylj3,"This April will be my 25th birthday and my family has already started planning a big party. By big I mean about 20-30 people family and family friends. And my brother will take me to a basketball game earlier. I have told everyone repeatedly for the past 12 years I don't want a party for my birthday. I never enjoyed parties. I'd rather just enjoy the day at home with my family and eat cake. But they never listen to me. Today when I brought up this issue with a friend who asked me if I had plans he said if I don't want to do it I should bail. My thought process is even if I tell them not to plan me a party they will do it anyway so there is no stopping this train. My friend got me a ticket to a cool art exhibit on my birthday that I'd rather be at. My plan is the day before my birthday to just walk out the house drive to my friend's house crash for the night and then go to the art exhibit and come home late that night around 10:30-11:00. I'm not a festive person I don't care about fanfare and excitement, but everyone else does. So will it be a bad idea to just bail on my family.",AITA for bailing on plans for my birthday?,NTA
110bpu6,"Me and my mother talking about yesterday’s incident where my aunt was scolding us in front of other relatives, like we are some 8 yr old kids, one of my cousins walked out because she was mad. Although they admitted that she was at fault at that time and I added a comment the she (my cousin who walked out) do really hold a grudge, like a grudge to death to describe it and then my mama added a comment saying she shouldn’t be like, holding grudge and we are in an argument and I told her no do not invalidate the feeling and the reaction of the person, you do not know what that person feels. We have different level of emotional reactions and different levels of understanding and she brings the past that her family before was prioritized by my father’s siblings and us (my father’s family) was the one who were bullied and left to suffer but they are still on their high horse letting not letting people to tell them and scold them and all, and they should be thankful and have a debt of gratitude because they’re the ones who receive all the help and attention and I said no, do not compare what your past to theirs and stop comparing situations because you don’t also know what they experience. And I told her do not judge people just because of your comparison to your past/situation and your observations to them. And she got mad and told me, I am one sided. I never was on their side and I was heavily influenced by my cousin’s pride and I told her no, I was not being one sided, In my head I am being rational. And in the end she told me that I should live with them because I know them better and she walks away. Am I the asshole?",AITA for not taking my mother’s side?,NTA
10zvnxg,"So, I (M14) went to the store today in order to buy some potatoes, and I asked my mom if I may as well could buy some snacks, and she said yes, so I went to the store and I bought the stuff, after coming home I put the stuff in the kitchen, left it there and decided to do some other stuff while she was making food, eventually I came back to the kitchen to find that she had eaten 1 of my snacks (gummies), I wasn't happy about that but I went back to what I was doing, however I was planning on eating those later but I thought I'd just buy it later and didn't care too much. Eventually later came, and I told her that I wanted to go and buy it again, but she said no, I kept asking her but she kept saying no, my dad was also saying no but he was saying no because I had a cold, though I don't understand how that's relevant as I'd be fine, the cold was already practically gone anyway, anyhow, I asked her why I couldn't go and she said that it was because I was only asking her because I was angry she ate it, but I specifically said that I didn't care about that anymore and wanted my damn snack, then she started saying it's because I was stubborn and that I couldn't not eat it, but I didn't understand how that's was a reason either since why would I want to not eat the damn snack, there's no gain from it, she also started saying that she didn't have the money, which also wasn't true, (she said she did like a bit after), so I offered to buy it with my own money and then she could pay me back, (I wasn't actually gonna ask for the money back), anyways, no matter how many times I gave her reasons to let me go down to the store and buy the damn which (which was likely not even gonna be stocked anymore), she just didn't listen to my words, eventually I gave up and she challenged me to post this somewhere and see who most people would agree with, so now here I am.AITA?",AITA for asking my mom to let me buy a snack I was saving for later because she ate it,NTA
10zx3nh,"This is something that I am truly confused by and I cannot come up with an answer by myself.​So my friend came to visit a week ago and has been staying here for a week. He leaves in like 2 days. He is taking a road trip around the country. My friend does drugs but I have never really cared. The stuff he does are hard drugs but since they are always on his person or in his personal car, I figured that if he got caught with them, that would be on him.​My roommate found out my friend does drugs when he saw him taking a pill from a bag, not a bottle. And when he confronts me about it, I tell him honestly that my friend indeed does do drugs but I didn't tell him since I didn't think it was a big deal because he smokes weed all over the house and buys it literally in front of our home.​My roommate says that they are not the same since weed is not a hard drug and I'm risking him going to jail but I figured that since my roommate is already smoking weed all over the house and buying it so close to our place, he is already risking me getting in trouble.​It has come to the point where my roommate says that if my friend does not leave within the hour, he is calling the cops on him.​I get that he doesn't like that my friend does harder drugs but I'm just not sure he is standing on any moral high ground in this situation, especially when he confronted me while smoking a blunt.​So...AITA?​Edit 1: We have never discussed drugs because I don't use them and don't care what others use since that is their own business. Also, weed is not legal here",AITA for not caring that my friend brought drugs into my home and not telling my roommate?,YTA
10zxi1x," I (37f) and bestie (34f) met when we did some local modelling. We clicked right away.Fast forward- I moved to Mexico with my kids. Bestie messages- she's going through some things and is coming to visit! My landlord drove me 1hr to pick her up, She saw us when she got out, waved, but stops at the bar mid-way, drops her bag, and sat down to order drinks! Parking was per minute, and my landlord had plans.The next day was a bad storm. Bestie still wants to go out so we went to the mall. It clears up after dinner, so we can go out. She calls a few people she knew in town and we go to a bar I like. Bestie decides alcohol isn't enough and starts asking strangers for certain substances. I told her Mexico isn't the place to be asking randoms for things, but she got upset and walked off. Guess bestie found what she was looking for and was doing it right on the bar! It was time to go, but she didn’t want to and the guy who supplied her was pulling her to the back of the club where his friends were.The taxi ride home she said cruel things about my kids and other ramblings. She woke my kids and I locked her out of my room.Talking about my kids was out of line and I told her so in the AM. She apologized to my kids and promised to take them to their favorite restaurant that night.She got dressed for the pool and stood in front of my window with her breasts exposed. I asked her to stop- I don't want that kind of attention from neighbors, my kids live here-she laughed it off and did it again when she got out. Some online guy sent her a ticket to Cabo, so she’s leaving to spend the rest of the time with him. I asked for his information, so someone knows where she is and who she's with but I was being paranoid.At the dinner, she makes eye contact with senior behind us. I thought she went to the bathroom but she was sitting in the old guy’s lap! She had food left and told her to eat or pack up- there’s a line at the door for seats and we looked dumb sitting there. She went to get the bill, but stopped at the bar and had a drink with old guy. I left with my kids. She caught up when I was watching the kids play. A guy stood next to us- dirty backpack, straggly hair with unintentional dreads. She says she likes his hair and asks him to sit next to her. Before I know she asks me to hold her things so her and ""Oscar"" can grab a drink-she'll ""be right back"" I said  I’m getting my kids the dessert I promised then home and to get her stuff in the morning- she left with him.No response when I text to see if she’s safe.3 the next day she knocks on my door.She had clothes in my laundry service but waits until the night before she leaves to say she’d be by later to get them. She didn't show up. Then I had breakfast plans w/ the kids. After a 2hr taxi ride and flight without her clothes she left many messages calling me a thief and other names, insults and slurs and threats. I don't think I did anything wrong. AITA?","AITA for kicking my bestie out of my home and ""stealing"" her clothes in Mexico?",NTA
10zvbe8,"I’m gonna try make this very short Basically I’m very big advocate for PDA of course  there is good PDA and bad PDA but my feelings towards it doesn’t make me interfere with anyone honestly.I’m okay with a kiss, a hug, holding hands and the couples being in love and happy in public (I find it soo incredibly adorable) but I’m not ok with groping, French kissing or anything that can be seen as a kink. Of course I’m actually okay with anything in private with my partner but personally I don’t like doing/seeing it in public (mainly with friends or people you know) I somewhat get secondhand embarrassment. I’m not saying you should be in embarrassed, but I think there should be a time and a place for everything but ME personally I don’t want to see anyone’s tongue down another persons throat. Well, some of my friend group are in couples. Most couples are very sweet and wary of PDA while other couples.… aren’t really. my best friend is one of them. Her and her boyfriend have done it all in front of me. I usually try to ignore it, but if there’s kissing going on, it’s really hard to not hear that…sound also it’s incredibly awkward, and I get extreme secondhand embarrassment. I also think it’s a bit rude to do it in front of your friends but everyone is different so it’s not my place. Of course I have asked them if they could please turn it down a little bit or at least not do extreme PDA in front of me. They responded by asking me if I was jealous and to get over it because there’s nothing wrong with affection. Personally, I have nothing wrong with affection. I think it’s the most beautiful thing but again I think there’s time and a place. Well, every time they make out I have been getting up and walking away. I try not to make it too obvious and I just lock myself in the bathroom until I think they’re done. Sometimes I just end up actually leaving and they don’t realise I’m gone until two hours later. So they kind of just expect me to sit there for two hours while they kissed. I’ve always made excuses on why I was leaving or why I walked away, but my friend noticed a pattern. She told me that I need to get over the jealousy I had, and that I was being a real AH for making it awkward because I keep walking away. I tried to explain to her that it just personally makes me uncomfortable and awkward and that I’m not jealous. It’s just not my cup of tea to look at or hear. She said that affection is normal and I need to get over it and I’m causing a fuss over nothing.So am I the AH",AITA for walking away from my friends when they kiss,NTA
10zvwdd,"Yo, so I (16M) am working this Tuesday, Valentine’s Day, and my girlfriend (17F) wants me to take it off and hang out with her. She’s making Valentine’s Day a big deal and honestly, I don’t like the holiday because of the materialism associated with it, I’m a Buddhist and I believe you don’t need to give material things to show your affection. She is too and she’s still going (imo) over-the-top and getting me a lot of things. So WIBTA if I worked rather than hang out for a holiday that I don’t like?",WIBTA if I didn’t want to spend Valentine’s Day with my girlfriend?,NAH
1100j93,"I'm sorry if this is long but am I the AH? My sister has been staying off the weed for about last year off and on, and she is a major cleaner who likes a clean house. (Not neat freak clean) but she left the house on Wednesday, and came back yesterday. Anyway she was distraught that the house was a mess and no one had cleaned it since she left. To put it more simplyish I work till 5:30 on wednesday and Thursday. On Friday I go to a different town for a college class dont get home till 2, our mother lives with us and works till 6 and my nephew works till 3. She had been telling me that ""why isn't this dumped out."" ""Why isn't this that dumped out."" I got irritated and told her ""I already know that"". The situation escalated and we yelled back and forth I told her to ""shut the f$%& up and let him talk"" when my nephew was trying to say something to her. She got mad and said ""I f%&*<_/ hate you!"" to me And went upstairs to scream. I left the area shaking and in shock about what happened. Well our mother came back after a work out and talked to her, its kind devolved but not at the same time but my sister told her that ""I am always blamed as the villan"" ""I'm treating them with respect and I want that in return."" ""Why can't we talk like f%&*>,% adults, there are four f%&*>% adults in this house."" ""I am stressed over how much cleaning I have to do"". Am I the AH or is this just a BIG miss communication thing? Should I have done something else?Edit: we all have a focusing disorder and we are all working through it. Also my nephew just turned 18 and is still working on being an adult.",WIBTA talking back to my sister who is quitting smoking.,ESH
1101wtv,"Hii, I’m 14F and my parents are 39F and 36M. My siblings are 11F, 10F and 4F if that’s important tooThis happened a while ago, I was around 12 I think. I still feel a bit guilty about it to this day so I’m just gonna get right into the story or something. Important: I’m overweight and tend to binge eat sometimesSo I had just gotten home after school, I was home alone and hungry like most kids probably are so I ate like the rest of my school lunch so we didn’t have to waste food. An hour later my mom and my siblings get home and my mom starts cooking. After the food is done she tells me to come eat dinner. I told her that I didn’t have to because I ate an hour before they came.She got annoyed and yelled at me to come downstairs to eat, i again said “no I just ate” after a bit back and forth, she lost it. She came upstairs, I sensed that she was gonna do something so I luckily locked the door before she could enter my room. She tried to get in, but when she couldn’t she started banging on my door, it sounded like it could break at any moment.I was crying, she was yelling, my siblings were scared. I yelled at her saying “go away, you’re scaring me” but she just replied “I’m not scaring you! You’re scaring your siblings!!” So yeah. I called my dad, he came, my mom left to her boyfriend’s place with my siblings. After the weekend she took my phone for 2 weeks",AITA for eating before dinner?,NTA
10zv28x,"I am due in about 4 weeks and my In-Laws live an hour away. My in-laws never want to drive to the city my husband and I live in. We always have to go to them. Small background My in laws are very controlling. I don’t have a relationship with them at all. My husband is getting distant with his parents. His mom whined and said I never see you and wants  him to visit every Friday. Or she said spend a least one weekend a month at their place. My father in law is a pilot and he’s always working and he misses holidays and birthdays. He gets upset with my husband if he cannot make it spend Thanksgiving, Christmas or Birthdays with his Mom and two teenage sisters. I miss out on Christmas morning with my husband because his mom throws a fit and his dad chews him out. My husband does have to grab his 8 year old that lives in the same city as his parents. Anyway, there’s a lot more that’s happened. His mom wants to be in the delivery room I said no. His dad called and chewed him out. Since, I said no. His mom expects us to bring the newborn to them once he’s born. My in laws have 3 really big dogs that jump. My in-laws have no control over the dogs. When I sit they jump on you and scratch you they also nibble.  I’m sure they have no intention on hurting you. A newborn getting jumped on or nibbled at could actually hurt him. One dog had thought my husbands first born was a toy and was yanking his little arm back and forth. My husband had to pry the dog’s mouth open. I don’t mind bringing him once he’s older. Right now Im not ready to bring him out. I think they can visit us for a change. My husband has asked them in the past to come out and they always tell him that doesn’t work for them.AMIA for putting my foot down and not giving his parents what they want?",AITA for noting wanting to bring my newborn to my in-laws if they can’t control their dogs?,NTA
10zuzdh,"So here’s what happened: So my mom (71) (biologically my grandma) just had a heart attack in December and she was on a bed rest for two weeks. Doctors say she’s fine now and can drive on her own and stay by herself, but she is dependent on me driving her everywhere and she gets mad if I don’t drive her. So because of this rule I have to stay home 24/7 and can only get out when I have permission to (need I say I’m 20f) I have a curfew of 10 pm. I can’t leave her side while shopping either, even if it’s to go into another isle. She’s went inside stores on her own with my other family members that drive her. Well yesterday my mom and I got into an argument on why I’ve been stressed about being a caregiver with no one to help me at age 20, she didn’t take it very well and asked me why I was “being such a b*tch” and telling me just to shut up. Sue also said that she’s taken care of me for many years( when I was 14 she granted custody of me when I wasn’t old enough for a job and didn’t have a car) I asked some family members what to do and they said that I could go to my boyfriends and stay the weekend. Even though I am currently staying with my bf (23) I still feel guilty. So I need some other opinions Aita?UPDATE: Had a talk with my family. All of the things that had happened in the last post that I had made. THEY DIDNT MENTION. It was a giant lecture about how I didn’t clean well enough and when I mentioned my boundaries that I had wanted to talk about. I was basically berated for it. And it somehow got turned to how it’s my fault that I am home at 10 PM and how I don’t get anything cleaned or done. And now I can’t even spend the night with my boyfriend anymore. I am planning on moving soon. I had a breakdown after the argument on the road.",AITA for going to my boyfriend for a few days,NTA
1101kgr,"Who is in the wrong in this situation? We decided to ride our bikes to a Sports Store to pick up some skates. Before we left, I looked at the store website to see which brands/type of skates they carried. I confirmed the two options that I would want to look at. Then I looked up the store’s phone number to give them a call. I was going to ask them if they had my size skate at the store (7.5 & 8 sizes which are my two most common shoe sizes), but then my boyfriend told me I didn’t need to call to check inventory and we should just go to the store. When we got to the store, they didn’t have my size skates in either of the skates I looked at, which happened to be the only two brands in the store at the time. In total, it took us 50 minutes to ride to the store, check out the skates available at the store, and ride back home. Boyfriend was pissed at me saying I ruined his entire day. He called me selfish, and self-centered. Told me that I was in the wrong because I didn’t check inventory on the website, to see what was available at this exact store. He was right - I didn’t check store inventory on the website and it didn’t even occur to me that I should I just saw that the sizes I wanted for either brand were in stock for shipping (not available at any nearby stores). Now we are back home and he is pissed at me. Am I the asshole?A reminder that  I did want to call the store and check inventory beforehand and said we should just go to the store. So am I still in the wrong?""",AITA for not checking inventory on the sports store website?,NTA
11061ea,"My grandma came to visit in November. She was rather absent in my life and was slammed onto me when I was 18. Like- that is the biggest part that I detest mostly. Suddenly I'm expected to treat her with the affection that you give a grandma, the way that I give my mom's mom? No, I don't have it in me to do that. Especially knowing that she wants to know EVERYTHING in my life, and she'll tell everyone under the sun. like she wants to pretend that the last 2 decades never happened. Guys, I can't bring myself to look at her, knowing that's what she wants and I can't give it. I have a tik-tok. and sometimes videos do well, and then my family gossips about it, constantly check it, won't shut up about it- I've told them I don't like that, but I tolerate it because honestly it's not that big of a deal for me to make. A week ago, I saw notifications where she was going down and liking all of my videos- it infuriated me. Maybe irrationally, because I don't want her seeing videos of me. She's already forcing herself into my life, so I blocked her. Tonight, I was forced to get dinner with everyone. I didn't really want to, I was tired after work. They all started talking about a tiktok of mine that I had recently posted, and my grandma was like ""what? I didn't see it!"" Unbenownst to me at the time, my mom gave her her phone so she can see them. I DID NOT KNOW THIS. I texted her than I blocked her so she can't see them. I forget that my grandmother can read english. She saw it. I don't want to unblock her. To me, I don't really care if she's upset about it, she is not a welcome presence in my life, and frankly I could care less. My mom says that that's mean and inhuman. That I can't selectively choose to be sympathetic to people, and not this old woman. I don't know, am I the asshole? I feel like one. I feel bad that she saw that message, I do. But how was I supposed to know she'd see it? How am I supposed to navigate this when I'm not that remorseful? Am I the asshole?",AITA because I don't want to apologize?,YTA
110613i,"So, for context, I (15f) have 1 friend (16m), I'll call him Steve. Me and Steve have been friends for about 3 years now. Often times, he'll talk about his friends up state. That, or I help him through his problems. However, lately he's been ignoring me. I'm afraid he doesn't care about me anymore. I don't mean to make him seem insensitive, he's really nice! But, I'm a little bit upset that he seems to care more about his other friends than me. AITA?",AITA for being upset that my friend won't talk to me?,NAH
1103hrk,"Recently, my friend has been hanging out with one of our mutual friends. No invite for our other friends in the group.I used to play games with her a lot alone which is why I feel like she’s one of my closer friends. This mutual friend of ours has a work schedule and so he has limited time to play, and I’ve noticed my closer friend only comes on when he’s back from work and they play games together. My friend has told me before that it’s selfish of me to think that she can’t hang out with others and that is true. But the part I have an issue with is that she only plays with him during the day, and when he has to go sleep, she turns to me and asks if I want to play games and hang out.I’ve been staying up alot recently, like until 3am because it’s fun to hang out with her and friends, no doubt. But I’m a college student, and as much fun as it is to play games with this friend, I’m tired as in not enough sleep. My other friend who has noticed this has contacted her about how she only plays with him during the day and my friend responded along the lines of “he’s going to be working overseas soon, stop being selfish about me hanging out with him during the time he has left.” Again I see her point, but it’s the turning to me after he has to go sleep that I have an issue with and I’m frankly getting fed up. Would I be the asshole if I started telling my friend slowly that I’m not really available to play games at night?edit: I am available at night to play a bit, but I need rest and would appreciate her wanting to hang out during the day too even when her friend is back from work, but is this the way to do it",WIBTA if I told my friend I’m unavailable at night to play games,NTA
1101j4l,"So I (22f) was in a relationship (25m) for 4 months. He's been spending every weekend at my family's home since New years eve. It's just been a thing, anyways I was venting to him, while driving him home. And he told me I handled the situation well, but getting emotional about it was letting them win. (I agree to a point) but then he told me just not to let it bother me. This morning he vented to me about a situation at home, and I listened, and made suggestions that he immediately shot down (I'll explain if yall want 🤷‍♀️)  But as I was venting he was very cold towards me when he told me not to let it bother me, basically just saying to get over it( , I just felt like i needed to vent so I didn't stay upset when I got home)  and because he was cold towards me, I just blurted out, ""well you shouldn't let Josh get to you. Then, take your own advice""  I didn't yell. I just said it simply. The same as he did. At this point he started yelling at me, saying I can't compare situations and just continued to yell that I don't know his situation fully and I honestly didn't understand it all because it was all dumb. And I was crying and asking him to stop yelling at me, and he said I was turning it around on him and very adamant I was in the wrong here. He lives 30 minutes rom me, my work is the half way  point between our houses. It's a 15 minute drive to his house from my job. And I pulled into my works parking lot because I needed to use the restroom RQ and he was still yelling at me, when he demanded to know  what I was doing pulling in, instead of just going straight to his place. I told him I had to pee and he needed to just get his mom to pick him up or something because I'm done being yelled at, especially because I did nothing wrong, and he was being a D bag. I told him he's been cold and distant during our entire relationship and never complimented me or made me even feel wanted. And the whole time I said all of it he just said ""I wonder why. I wonder why"" And he left his ""spendanight"" bag in my car and I simply threw it out. And he started yelling that I was a (C u next tuesday) and threw his jacket at him too. I get that throwing stuff, especially in public, was inappropriate. But being yelled at for telling someone to take his own advice. For 10 minutes straight after trying to vent, sucked.",AITA? I made him walk half way home.,NTA
1109qfo,"I 25y F have been married to my husband 28 for going on 4 years now. We have two daughter a 2yr old and a 2m old. Us 4 are very close and do everything together. MY parents have been very helpful with my 2yr old daughter since she was born and are the only ones who I’ve let babysit ever.. my in laws have always done their own thing and weren’t regularly in my baby’s life from the start. This isn’t to say they weren’t ever there they just had their own things going on. Now, my mil and sil insist on babysitting not only my oldest child but my newborn as well. I tried to tell my husband i don’t feel comfortable with it because for one, they have very different styles of taking care of kids than my family does plus I have known my parents my whole life, I’ve only known his mom for 3-4 years and although I love her we haven’t been extremely close ever, but he insists it’s just not fair and that his family deserves to have them just as much. I feel like it’s not the same because HE has never had concerns about my parents, while I have had some about his family which I feel like is normal when I haven’t known them a ton of time.. my parents never ask to babysit or take my kid obviously they’re delighted when they get to but they never but that pressure on us , they simply just support me when I ask, and my baby is always the one who asks for my parents, it’s clear that she absolutely adores spending time with them.. but my in laws almost demand to take my daughter not only do they want her to go to their house but they want to take her out places. I rarely ever take my daughter(s) anywhere without my husband and my parents have never taken them anywhere either, they solely just stay at their house so I feel like it’s a lot different in that case too! It’s SO unsafe everywhere and they’re asking to take my most prized possession just to spend time with them? I just feel like it’s weird like why isn’t it enough to just be with them at our house? Why do they want to be alone with them or take them somewhere without us ? We can easy just all go .. on top of just all that paranoia my mil and sil are both single and suffer from some sort of depression and have lately been in very questionable situations.. i just feel like that can be super dangerous and i know that’s the mom in me talking but then again it’s my children!! Whenever I try to explain I’m just not ready to let them go they get all offended and bring up the fact that they have raised kids and blah blah blah.. long story short I feel like I’m the mom if I don’t want to even if I had no reason I shouldn’t have to, is that me being an asshole?",AITA FOR NOT TRUSTING MY MIL,YTA
10zy7mv,"First post ever, so here goes. My husband (M39) and I (F37) got home last night around 11pm, and our apartment building was dark. The hall lights and entry way lights were off, and the entry buzzer was not working. Not a big deal, we had our keys, and I used my phone’s flashlight to see going up the stairs. We were maybe 5 or 6 stairs up when we heard a loud banging on the door. We heard a voice shout “I’m you neighbor, let me in, I forgot my keys and the key pad isn’t working”. My husband went back to the door, saw it was a female who neither one of us had ever seen before. He jokingly said “oh I’ll need you name, drivers license and social to make sure you live here”. She said “I do live here” and just pushed past him. I said “wow, she didn’t even thank you for letting you in.” She got pissed and said I should not be joking around to someone who was obviously stressed out. I said I couldn’t tell she was stressed, she was outside, but I would have still thanked someone for letting me in, stressed or not. Then she said “good for you, you fat cunt.”I was almost thinking maybe I should have given her a pass, but then she dropped that line. I don’t think think my husband or I are the AH here, but I’m also second guessing that we might be since she was stressed out about getting in to her apartment.",AITA for joking around when letting in a neighbor who I have never met?,NTA
10zxzox,"Short backstory: I've been no contact with the woman that birthed me (mother) for maybe 15 years now for many reasons. Aunt 1 is also no contact with mother. A few years ago granny was in hospital. Aunt 1 has been caring for her single handedly with zero help from mother, Aunt 2, or any of us cousins at all. Whilst granny was in hospital with Aunt 1 in charge, mother tried to butt in and take over, despite being told by granny she wasn't wanted, and despite never having been involved in her care. Skip to now: granny has been back in hospital with declining mental health as well as physical. Aunt 1 is once again taking charge and advocating for assistance, as she is the only person that was caring for Granny for years. I feel it is her right to have that say, since the rest of us have done nothing to gain the entitlement to make those decisions. Somebody has been calling the hospital and trying to override Aunt 1's decisions, claiming that they're granny's daughter. The only daughters are Aunt 1, mother and Aunt 2. Mother has set a precedent for behaving this way already in the past. Aunt 1 is trying to find out who has been trying to take over. She has asked Aunt 2 who denied it was her, who then asked mother who also denied culpability. From here, there are 5 female cousins that includes me, and 2 female spouses of male cousins, all who could potentially be the one causing problems with the hospital. This is where I want to see if I'm the AH or not. Aunt 2 contacted me asking if it was me (it wasn't). Now I feel very offended that she would even ask me that question; not because I think she shouldn't ask, but because she asked mother (who has already shown she will behave in this exact way), me and nobody else. None of the other cousins, and not the spouses. Her reasons were that she doubts it would be the other cousins and so hasn't even asked them, I was the last person she asked, it's up to Aunt number 1 to ask her own children, and there was no mention of the spouses. I'm offended that out of every female in the family, I am the only one of the cousins/spouses that she asked. I am offended that her singling me out to ask shows that I am the only one in the family she thinks is capable of trying to cause problems for Aunt 1 at the hospital. She already said she doubts it's anyone else. I feel like just because she never specifically said I'm a crap person and the only one that would do something like that, her actions say exactly this. I sent her a private message first to say that I was upset that she would think so little of me and asked why I was singled out. I was then accused of shouting abuse at her, which is a blatant lie.AITA for being offended she thinks I am the only one in the family that would do this? I would understand asking everyone in the group chat, but to admit she doubts it's anyone else so is only asking me, I feel I've the right to feel upset.",AITA for being offended?,NTA
10zvnu0,"I've had my housemate since August. When she moved in, she let me know that she was bringing her cat (I'm highly allergic). We agreed upon leaving the cat in her room. Eventually, she asked if we could let him out for small periods of time like twice a day and that she'd buy me allergy meds. I appreciated the gesture and said yes. Then, the cat roaming turned into an almost all-day affair. I expressed discomfort with this, especially with the cat going upstairs onto the carpeted floor. She offered to vacuum and wash the carpets (she never did). I appreciated the gesture but expressed my discomfort again. The cat figured out how to open doors and was letting himself out. He licks and plays with clean dishes (which then have to be washed because if I consume any of it, my throat will close), he plays with the tv cords and wobbles the tv (the tv belongs to the leasing company. If it breaks, we have to pay for it). He's been stepping on my WiiU (which I wouldn't be able to replace). He is now entering my room, which is strictly off limits. I expressed this, and she did nothing, saying that putting the cat back in her room was making him destroy her room. One day, the cat broke all the boundaries set, and we (my gf and I) put him back in her room. When she got home from work, she was highly upset that we put him back. This ended up causing a huge conflict with her, saying I gave her an ultimatum, which I expressed that I was willing to compromise. She has stated that I haven't appreciated anything she's done to try to help even though I've expressed that I have appreciated it, I'm just struggling because it's not enough. I wake up every morning with a sore throat, stuffed nose, and crusted eyes, even with an air purifier in my room. Her room is right below mine, and we share a vent system. We also found out that she had been leaving dirty litter in an open bucket in her room. I got upset with her about everything because she's prioritizing her cat over me. Our leasing office says they didn't get cat paperwork until she moved in and that she wouldn't have been placed in my unit (I lived here the year before and renewed). She's telling me they knew the whole time. The story isn't consistent because I remember her having to go register her cat when she moved in. So AITA for getting upset with her?",AITA for getting upset with my housemate,NTA
10zxpau,"Sorry about the title not making sense. I admit I have some mild OCD. My husband and I fight a lot about seemingly little things like how he needs to use soap to wash his hands rather than just leave them under the water for 3 seconds, etc.I try to be patient but I find myself taking on all of some of the household chores because he doesn’t do them the way I think is acceptable. I don’t believe them to be unrealistically high expectations but for example one of my pet peeves is when he takes our toddler and baby’s clothes and washes them with bath mats and dirty floor towels that we use to clean up after our dog and wipe up accidents and mud off the floor with. He’s done this multiple times despite me asking him not to. I’ve asked him repeatedly to please not touch the kids’ or my laundry anymore because it saves an argument and he will get defensive and call me OCD and unreasonable, unappreciative, etc if I complain. Sometimes it turns into explosive arguments so I just prefer to do it alone and ask him not to help with their laundry anymore. This is how it has been for years.A couple days ago he asked to transfer the laundry while I was cooking to help and I almost said yes but remembered he tends to bring up damp clothes and says he can’t tell they’re not dry so I said no thank you please. He insisted and I said please three more times before he started about how I shouldn’t complain he doesn’t help with the laundry. I raised my voice and threw in the f word (I know it was wrong but I had already asked him politely 4 times to leave it.) He doesn’t help gather, sort, wash, or put away the clothes . He only moves wet clothes to the dryer and takes them out of the dryer, and me having to bring damp clothes back to the laundry room to dry would just make more work for me. Today he asked again so I gave in and let him help. Once again he brought up damp pillows and blankets. We got into a fight because he said I was mean and overlook all the nice things he does and I lost my patience because it’s getting old. He took the damp baby’s pillows and then tossed them into the dryer which once again, contained bath mats and floor towels used for the dog and spills. We got into another fight and I told him I would do his laundry with the pets’ if he didn’t seem to mind.AITA for helping him and washing his pillow with the bathmats and floor towel that was just used to clean up our toddler’s accident? I know I don’t need to do this but I’ve asked him repeatedly not to do the same and he just isn’t respecting my wishes. I think deep down he thinks it’s gross and want him to see what it feels like when he “helps.”",AITA for doing laundry the same way my husband did that made me mad?,ESH
10zxkas,"For context, I'm getting married in less than a week.Atm I'm working elsewhere but will be flying back to my hometown for the wedding. My fiance & I haven't been apart for too long since he came with me to help me settle but now that he is gone I'm alone with my thoughts. I feel like no one cares about me. I'm less than a week away from my wedding and idk I thought I'd feel a bit... more. My family & my fiance's family haven't said anything to me. It feels like no one speaks of this!Ik my MIL and SIL have been nasty in the past since I got engaged but despite the bumpy road we r acting like adults. But now I am here and no one has asked if I'd like to get my nails done, or if I'm excited about the days ahead or anything. Ik people live a busy life but it's just so quiet I'm beginning to wonder if anyone even cares. It feels like a huge mistake to spend so much money on this wedding and people are just whatever about it. I have my suspicions my fiance's family just want this crap over with b/c SIL just go engaged & they want to focus on that.Idk what to do reddit, I guess I would like a different perspective on this, am I overreacting? is it perhaps me just being sad bc I'm alone for work in a new city? should I even bring up how upsetting events from the past few months were?WIBTA if I just tell everyone how disappointed they have made me feel with their little interest and actions?P.S. my fiance is not with me b/c he is a Ph.D. student and needs to be in our hometown for school.No, SIL did not ask me to be a bridesmaid (yes she is one of mine). MIL has been very nasty with some of her comments and actions since I got engaged. FIL threw away our invitation in the garbage unopened and I was the one to find it. He claimed it was an accident. -I've been battling emotions for so long, wanting to reject them as my new family or accept them. It also doesn't help how unconcerned my own family is. I just can't deal.",WIBTA If I tell everyone how I feel?,NTA
10zx0fn,"For background: my (f17) sister (f14) is continuously verbally abusive to my family at home, and she’s been making our home life hell for almost two years now. My parents have called social workers on her before but nothing drastic has come from it. There has been discussion of sending her involuntarily to a mental institution, as she has extremely severe anxiety along with delusions about her appearance, and these both manifest in her lashing out at my parents and myself when she is upset or stressed. She also often refuses to go to school because she believes she looks ugly (she doesn’t, she’s objectively very pretty.) She refuses to see a therapist.I took her to the mall with me today and as we were leaving, after we went into Claire’s and left without buying anything, I caught her with a packet of $25 earrings in her pocket. She looked scared and said that she’d never done it before, and she asked me to please not tell my parents. I didn’t say anything. We were already out, so I didn’t make her return them or anything, and I just drove her home.The thing is, I’ve shoplifted a few times before, but no one in my family knows this, and I’ve never been caught. It was always things like energy drinks or sandwiches from the grocery store for lunch. I’m not condoning this behavior, only admitting that I’ve done it. At the time I was flat broke and could not have afforded to buy these things, but my parents gave my sister $50 to spend at the mall and she barely used any of it. She definitely could have just bought those earrings— there was no reason to steal them.I feel like I should tell my parents, but I’m hesitating. I feel like it would be hypocritical of me, considering I’ve shoplifted before with no repercussions. I also think that this could result in her getting into serious trouble, given her situation and how she already has a file. I’m not sure if I want that or not. She makes my life hell, but she’s still my sister, and she’s only 14.WIBTA if I tell on her?","WIBTA if I tell my parents that I caught my sister shoplifting, despite having shoplifted before and having never been caught?",YWBTA
10zy5sq,"Ok I will try to make this short while providing details.At  5 am this morning on my husbands way to work, he told me he wanted to  go visit a friend in a state we live in that is having a rough time of  it. Now by a rough time, I don't mean anyone died, or he lost his house,  or got divorced or anything. He lost his job, and lives with his  fiancee and they are planning a wedding. (Which I understand the stress  off, both being out of work and planning a wedding.)It  should also be noted we are trying to pay down debt, and, we are  planning for hopefully a major life event. The event has not happened  yet but is in the works.If just he goes, its going to cost around 500 just for travel round trip, if he wants me to go with him thats about 1000.I don't plan to go, so it would just be him.But  I do plan to go in august when these friends are getting married. So  that is another 1000 in august just for travel, not to mention hotel,  and anything else we need (Like suit rental and ect).I  will say we are in a spot where we could afford it with out going  hungry, but its probably going to go on credit we are all ready trying  to pay down and means nothing is going towards savings.I  will admit I did snap at him this morning, and that was the wrong way  to handle it. I was tired and blind sided by it. I have apologized for  that, but, I want to know if I am in the wrong for thinking that this is  a waste of money for a small thing when we will see these people in 6  months.","AITA for not wanting my husband to take a trip, when we will both be taking the same trip in 6 months.",YTA
10zuj26,"Due to medical issues my husband and I have a temporary appointed cleaning lady, paid for by the city council, to help us clean our house. She comes once every two weeks, for 2 hours. The agreement was that she would help with the big stuff (kitchen, toilet, bathroom) and do other stuff when she has time to spare. She is really kind, she has been at our house for about 5 times now. We were asked to make a list of things we want her to do. So we write down each week which things are most urgent to us. And until now she has ignored at least one or sometimes two of those things and did something else instead. To give an example, last week we asked her to give our kitchen a good scrub. We are usually at another place in our house, as to not bother her, so I don't micromanage what she cleans and how she does it. When she was finished, she told me she hadn't done the kitchen at all, and instead decided to clean our doors upstairs. Those doors are not on my priority list and certainly didn't look dirty. Instead, the area (kitchen) where we needed help the most, wasn't cleaned at all. I am very insecure, and really don't like to get confrontational, so I just said thank you. I really don't know how to handle this. How do I tell her I am not really happy with what she does, without hurting her feelings. Am I the asshole if I tell her to just stick to our list? When we got her assigned, the council lady said we should take it up with them if we had any problems, but it feels harsh to go over her head, without talking to her first. I just really don't want to be considered rude and be an asshole, or come off as entitled. Would I be?",WIBTA for telling my cleaning lady she doesn't do her work well?,NTA
10zxwdy,"Me (19M) and my bestfriend ""Carlos"" also 19M  pretty much grew up together and now we room together in college. Carlos is gay and he and his family are really religious but tottally accepting and are part of an lgbtq affirming church/congregation. Carlos takes alot of the Bible to heart  especially the "" wait till marriage part "" about sex  that was drilled into him and his sisters/brothers. As kids he was always looking for ""the one"" or his "" forever guy""  ; and since we're from a kinda smallish town there wasnt  a whole lot of pickings for him till junior year and he got into his first real and long term relationship this guy ""Jeff"" (20M) from another school that he met during a track meet.Jeff's a cool dude and we're pretty much friends and kinda close  and he's going to a really  nearby college so we frequently hang out sometimes even when Carlos is at class or preoccupied. He sometimes confides in me that of course he loves Carlos  and wants to be his ""forever guy"" but  while he respects Carlos choice and wouldn't try to push him hes not super into the whole waiting for marriage and kinda wants to move things forward in the bedroom. But he also says he's willing to wait (They plan on getting married after graduating).   Carlos also confides in me that him and Jeff have talked about and while Jeff told him he'd wait  he still feels kinda insecure about it and sometimes thinks maybe he should just do it.I've told Carlos  that he should do what he wants and to do just cause hes insecure about it. Though since highschool I have teased him a little about it here and there  and hed tease me about never  staying with a gf  for long .We've always kinda joked around with each other like that   Yesterday while on a double  camping date with my current gf ""Sasha"" (21F) . While Jeff went to get more drinks and  Sasha went to go pee I could see Carlos  was a lil upset and I started joking with him  that maybe tonight's the night and he just give up on all the Bible stuff  you know stop being such a pude. Just trying to cheer him up which usually works, but he just got more upset .I asked what was up and he just yelled at me that sometimes I joke to much  and he was already feeling down  today about how Jeff really wants to  but hes holding out for him and thinks Jeff might  reject him. I tried apologizing explaining that I didn't know and  he goes off on me a bit about how I never really respected his beliefs and that my jokes were making him even more insecure about him and Jeff.   Stuff kinda petered out after that. In  the morning on the way back to campus Carlos was kinda quiet and Jeff  told me  he knew I was just kidding and to give Carlso time to cool off.  Sasha talked to me to later and told me I'd been pretty insensitive and I should just leave his religious beliefs and the no sex thing alone  even though I didn't know what was wrong  in that instance.  AITA ?",AITA for laughing at and making fun of my bestfriend's beliefs and calling him a prude?,YTA
110876a,"I just got my first pair of glasses and to be fair, I am not the biggest fan of the feel of the glasses. It's weird because my vision looks the same with or without them, but I have astigmatism so I do get headaches later in the day if I don't wear them. My parents are adamant that I wear them all the time, they say it's bad for my eyes if I don't wear them at all times, and I'll loose them if I keep taking them on and off. Anytime I am not wearing my glasses they remind me to put them on.I said I'll put them on if I start to get a headache but I feel find without them, and they said that was unacceptable and that the only way I would get use to them is by wearing them all the time. AITA for not wanting to wear my glasses all the time?",AITA for not wearing my glasses at all times during the day?,NAH
10zttwp,"Recently, I made a joke in my friends gc that read: “*Name* you need to work out. You’re looking kind of scrawny.” I made this joke in response to a jab to me, and it was supposed to be sarcasm because I’m the scrawniest person in my friend group. Another person in the gc got mad at me for saying this, and saying I suck and not elaborating. Another person later made the joke that it would be better if I just left the gc, so I did. I said sorry to the person I directed the joke out to privately (and he wasn’t mad), but I refused to do so to the person who initially got mad. Then her and her friend for the next couple days started either ignoring me or being very passive aggressive. Yesterday, I sent her a message asking for her perspective on what happened, which was ignored. AITA?Edit: Ok, I’m the asshole. She responded to the message about 30 minutes ago. No idea why it took so long to respond but I think we had a nice discussion over boundaries with jokes and such (and yes, I apologized). I think we’re (mostly) good now. Thanks for y’all giving me another perspective on this.",AITA for not saying sorry after a joke?,YTA
10zufr0,"Our son’s 2 year birthday is this weekend, and a majority of our immediate family will be out of town, so we are planning his big family and friend birthday party next month. While we were visiting my in laws in January, we invited them to come for our son’s real birthday on this Sunday in the afternoon, as my parents, my sisters, and my nephews will be joining, as well for a small celebration of his real birthday. My in laws said they didn’t want to intrude on my family as they said it’s a bit chaotic and they want to watch the Super Bowl, so would pass. We said ok, but that was how most birthdays would be moving forward, and my wife and I agreed we wanted to spend the morning with our son celebrating his birthday.On Friday of this week, my wife got lunch with her dad who was in town. She texted me after saying “ My parents are going to come Sunday around 9 and leave by 12 when he naps 😊”. I was shocked and annoyed, especially since there was no conversation since our discussion in person where we extended the invite and they declined. I asked my wife this morning about it and asked when will we get our time solo with our son to celebrate? She got defensive and said “it’s fine, they need to spend time with him too. He sees your parents way more.” My in laws live 1.5 hours away, and we live in the town over from my parents after a recent move to be closer to family. I tried to debate with my wife that when they come, they will want all the time with him since they’re making the drive, which sidelines us to celebrate his birthday, as I said to her they’re not going to drive up here to watch us play, they will want to take their time with him. I’m also voiced that I’m frustrated that she didn’t ask and talk to me beforehand, instead just slipping it in through a text. She told me she won’t tell them no now since they’ll know it was me that told them no and I didn’t give them any other options to see our son for his birthday. I’m frustrated either way our 1:1 time with my son on his birthday is now only his breakfast time. AITA for wanting the time with my two year old on his birthday and not wanting my in laws to invite themselves outside of the invited party time?",AITA for not wanting my in laws to invite themselves over for my son’s birthday?,NTA
10zviur,"I (22M) made a friend (24F) a couple of months back. We started talking to each other and the beginning conversations were fun and I liked her as a person because she seemed understanding and kind. Eventually we started being vulnerable with each other and talked about our feelings etc. She confessed to me about the things she did over the years that she wasn't proud of. Like once, because she didn't like a girl in her class she started hitting on her boyfriend. And that every time he used to message her or go out with her it felt like a win to her. And after those two broke up, she stopped talking to him and blocked him.She also confessed about two timing many guys. Even her serious boyfriend of 2 years. She obviously regrets all these things. She cried when she was talking about these things. And at the time I didn't know what to do so i just said that it's good that she realised it atleast.But the truth is have a very low tolerance for people of this character, particularly the ones who are a bit too into their looks(which she is) and the ones that cheat (in any form even if it's just flirting imo that's just shitty, i also kind of judge people who like it as a kink, like in roleplay or in porn).So since then I haven't really been myself with her. Because she's not the same person to me anymore. I kind of can't believe someone who seems so nice could also do such things. And it does feel like she isn't that person anymore. And obviously she trusted me enough not to judge her when she was being vulnerable. But I do judge her. And I kind of am not comfortable thinking about her. Eventually i started making excuses that I was busy and now it's been a few weeks since we talked. I'm thinking of just stopping talking to her.She texts me at times, i read it from the notifications and ignore them because I don't know what to do. Today she called me, i didn't answer. And she sent a text about how she is in a really bad place right now and needs someone to talk to. And that she misses me and everything. I do feel bad for her. But I cannot seem to separate her past from her present. Am I the asshole?",AITA for ignoring my friend?,YTA
1100ng1,"So, I'm an 18-year-old male (he/him) old full-time student at a local community college, and I've studied hard enough to earn myself a merit scholarship to a 4-year institution.In one of my classes, there's this older woman, I think in her 50s, who, unfortunately, isn't terribly bright. She has real difficulty keeping up with course requirements, and I do feel somewhat sorry for her. The other day, she came up to me after class and asked me if I could help her review the material after class. This request made me rather uncomfortable, and I felt that it would be rather awkward, so I declined her offer. She apologized and scurried away, but I feel like I'm in the wrong.I feel rather guilty because (1) I know part of my reasoning is prejudiced, I think she'll take a long amount of time to learn the material, (2)  I don't want to help her, which might be selfish, and (3) I don't like the feeling of trying to tutor someone so much older and of the opposite sex.AITA?",AITA for refusing to help an older classmate?,NTA
110790n,"Recently I (27F) attended my sister (also 27F) and soon to be brother-in-law’s couples shower. We’re a few months out from their wedding, and the shower was hosted by my sister’s future mother in law, Jennifer, at the home of one of her good friends. I am the maid of honor so of course flew in to town for the occasion with my boyfriend. I hadn’t been included in the planning process for the shower, but I don’t mind that at all. Jennifer is very hands on with planning for the wedding as a whole. My side of the family is not as familiar with large weddings, especially all of the events and planning that goes into them these days - my parents wedding had about 10 guests. My sister is also very easy going, and so lets Jennifer handle a lot of things. My mother has been upset about this in the past because she would like to be more involved, but has settled into letting Jennifer take the reigns to avoid conflict. The couple’s shower was planned by Jennifer and her friend, and was very thoughtful and beautifully done. There were activities, drinks, dinner, then cake. Around 9, dessert was finishing up (at this point a few guests had left already) and my parents said they were going to head home. It is a pretty far drive for them (a little less than an hour) and the weather was not good - rainy and windy enough to knock out power lines throughout the neighborhood. My bf and I decided to head out as well. It was about 30/40 mins later when I saw a text from Jennifer saying something along the lines of: “I know you left already but I wanted to make sure that you knew we were about to play a game and open presents if you weren’t too far and wanted to come back. I just didn’t want you to not be aware.” Obviously I hadn’t seen the text as I had been driving, so I wasn’t able to go back to the party. Granted, I was fine to leave when my parents did, and wanted to get home before the weather got any worse. However, when we were saying goodbyes and thanking Jennifer and her friend for hosting such a great shower, no one mentioned anything about being about to play games/open presents. My sister didn’t mention it either but I texted her afterwards to apologize for leaving and she said she hadn’t known that was the plan either. Am I the asshole for leaving my sister’s shower too early? As maid of honor should I have checked in with someone, even though I was not included in the planning process for this party? I asked my parents as well and they said they weren’t told either. It feels like Jennifer was specifically trying to exclude us, but am I reading the situation in the wrong way? My sister said she of course doesn’t hold it against us since she didn’t even know the plan and was just happy we could make it. I still feel like I may have missed out on something that was important to her, or made her feel like we don’t care about the wedding as much as the other side of the family. AITA?",AITA for leaving my sister’s bridal shower early?,NTA
10zxh1h,"So To Start Off My Friend (f15) And i (f15) have been friends for about 3years now. We met because our parents been friends since childhood. She was my only friend when we first moved again. And alot happened that i kinda became a shut out and was home schooled. My friend ""M"" ill call her. Moved closer, 5mins instead of 2hrs away. She has this thing were she liked a different guy every other week at her new school. Not dating or hook up. Just like the normal crush. She had finally got over a dude she really liked and next thing ik shes dating someone, ill call him ""K"".Well lets just say its been about 3 months now. Everytime we hangout or she stays over, hes messaging/calling her 24/7. I was fine with it, it was upsetting a bit, but i get she really liked him. Hers the thing though im bisexual, and he knows this. Im no way in hell interested in ""M"", Nor would i ever try to get with someone who is taken. And he knows that but gets pissed and gets mad at her when he hears we change in front of eachother, and slap eachothers ass/tits its normal to us tho. And the slapping is normally something as revenge or shit. Nothing special, but today we are sleeping over at my house with our other friend. She hanged up on him earlier, we were playing a board game and he messaged me  telling me its not my say to tell her not to call him. He said a bunch of messed up shit. In terms basically im controling his gf not to call him and im stealing his gf. That im Fucking lonely, even though he knows my situation and why im not in a relationship. And just to say, he is on call with her the whole time shes here even though the night.It honestly upsets me and even my friend is not that happy. Not even 5mins after it she wanted to sit on call with him like nothing is wrong and he did nothing, im really just hurt at the fact my friend ive know for 3years is somewhat siding with someone she met and is with for 3months.Am i being an asshole about being upset with my friend and her boyfriend?",AITA For Being Upset At My Friend And Her Bf?,NTA
10zxffk,So 2 days ago my friend and his girlfriend asked if I wanted to go to a valentines day party with a ton of couples at it. Apparently it’s really hard for someone that’s single to get in for some reason but he had gotten me a spot. I declined but he persisted. I told him I wouldn't be comfortable being the one of the only single people there. He got really angry and said it took him a lot of effort to get a slot. I can see why he would be disappointed but not angry. He knows I’m self conscious about not being able to find a partner in life.,AITA for declining a friends request to go to a party on valentines day?,NTA
10zzbhf,"Me (14f) and my semi friend (14f, we'll call her Emma) have had a huge falling out today. I say semi friend because I feel like she has always hated me. Today, I confronted her through text. She admitted to hating me, purposely telling one of my closest friends things about me (she decimated that friendship and that friend hates me now) and honestly just being rude.To list some things she has done: she kicks me in the back of my legs, laughs when I fall down, called me an ugly bitch, wrote ""(my name) is an anime and kpop lover"" on my school paper (which is considered INSANELY weird in my school, pretty much social suicide to admit to liking those things) and much more. Some of things I have said is that she was built like a bug (she is not conventionally attractive), horse girl freak, etc...I want to say that anything rude I've done or said was in response to her actions. 2 of my friends are on my side, the rest (3-4) are on her side. I think she is toxic and she has really hurt my feelings. When I apologized for all of the things I've done (which honestly I think I deserve an apology) she said ""nah"" when I asked for forgiveness. She tells me none of my friends like me, I'm weird and gross, and all of these really mean things. I'm not unpopular by any means either. I do have quite an interesting and crazy personality, and she said I make people uncomfortable.TLDR:She doesn't seem to give a frick about me. She has ruined a close friendship of mine and probably will ruin more. She physically hurts me and she makes fun of me and publicly broadcasts some personal information that could hurt my reputation at school.So, WIBTA for being rude and calling her out for her actions after she said hurtful things?",AITA for calling my semi-friend a bitch?,ESH
10zxnd5,"So I am at a Sci Fi convention and last night someone decided to perform Elvis Presely’s An American Trilogy in a room that had I’d say had around 25% People of Color. No one caused a scene or anything. They collectively after the older gentleman started got up and left the room. After another performer or two had done their thing folks started filtering back in.Today I was trying to mention to my best friend that I thought a bad choice was made (by the person that choose the song and the organizer), he promptly went on a tirade about how people need to just not get offended and just leave the situation. No mind you I mentioned that people had just done that and I was just remodeling that a poor choice was made.Am I the Asshole?",AITA for trying to point out a bad decision.,NTA
10zv9ya,So for my job I am on call every 3rd weekend. Most of my site are an hour south of me. My lady and our son is about 40 mins south of there I live also. I am on call this weekend and my lady is work today. Our son who is 11 is home by himself and I tried to work out with my job to take my work truck there and spend day with him but couldn't get in touch with my boss yesterday. I just told my lady that I am running to the store and gym which is 10 mins from my house. She told me I was an asshole becuase I doing all this running but can't be there for our son. Tried explain i have a certain time frame to answer a call. If I leave from her house it is 45 mins home then change and an hour to the site. At least 2 hours to get there.  Longer then our time frame. I was able to speak with my boss today and will be there for our son all day tomorrow.,AITA On call for work,NTA
10zxe6m,"This year, I decided to get my girlfriend “Anna” some chocolates for Valentine’s day. About a week ago, I got one of those heart shaped chocolate boxes you can get at Target.   I was really excited to gift them to my girlfriend until a few days ago, I got really hungry, and temptation got the better of me, and I ate a single one of those chocolates. I figured I could just go swing by Target again b4 Valentines to pick up a new box. ​Fast forward a few days, I was looking around for something of mine in my girlfriend and I’s room and I found another one of those heart shaped chocolate boxes that my girlfriend must have been planning on giving me (it was the same one that I had got).​ Forgetting that I had already eaten a chocolate the box I had bought for Anna, I figured I could just eat a couple chocolates from the box Anna had bought and replace it with the one I’d bought, and then replace the one I had bought later by going to a target again. Temptation got the better of me yet again, and I ate the entire box of Anna’s chocolates.   I immediately went pale when I remembered that I had already opened the box I had bought. I heard my girlfriend’s footsteps approaching, so I hid in the bathroom, but Anna went in and caught me, and I confessed to everything.   Now she’s mad at me, accusing me of having no self control, but I think she’s overreacting because I was going to swing by Target to replace what I had eaten. Plus the chocolates she bought were going to be for me anyway, so I was really only stealing from myself.",AITA for “stealing from myself”?,YTA
10zzttc,"I (F, not a native-speaker) am at the begining of a new relationship where we are mostly trying to get to really know each other and communicate as much as possible. Few days ago, my BF has told me that he is concerned with my behaviour. According to him, there were some situations where I acted as if I had zero trust in his words or competence.For example, we were at the store buying something and I asked him about some specifics of the product. He told me but soon after that a person working in that store came to see if we needed any help and I supposedly repeated the same question about a product to him. I say supposedly because I do not even remember doing this but I believe I did it when my BF says so (I tend to forget details such as this).My BF says there were more similar situations in the past few weeks which bothers him. I do not really recall doing this and it is not on purpose. I think I might act like this for two reasons: 1. I forgot I already asked him, or 2. I know too many people (including ex-partners) who acted as if they knew everything and were often wrong. Also, I had worked in academic field, so I tend to verify the information and trust the experts.I told him all this but I still feel kind of bad. He was not very pleased when I said that I am not sure how to change this about myself since he is the first person who ever raised a concern about this trait of mine.So, AITA for acting this way and not being ready or sure how to change it?",AITA for acting as if I don't trust in my BF?,NTA
10zumo4,"me and my friend made plans today. he said to come over, he will prepare food and we will play video games. I called 30min before I arrived at his place and he sounded sleepy, so I asked him if he was sleeping and he said yes. I told him I would be there in 30min and he said ok. When I was at his place, he was still sleeping and he didnt made the impression that he would wake up. I asked him if he wants to continue sleep and he said yes. I told him that I will be leaving then and he said ok. I told him before I left that this is stupid and next time to tell me earlier if he plans to sleep. He defended himself that he didnt planned but just fell asleep and that I know he had a rough working day and that he was sleeping and how the hell he could inform me when he fell a sleep. I mean I could have stayed and played by myself and hang there, but honestly, whats the point. So for him he didnt stood me up but for me he stood me up because he didnt even plan to get up when I arrived. Did I understood things wrong? Did I overreacted? AITA?",AITA for thinking that my friend stood me up?,NTA
10zyzv6,"I have met a girl online around 5 months ago. For last 5 months, we have been talking more than 3-4 hours per day. We decided to become partners but it is a long distance relationship for now.She has self confidence issues and I have tried to be very supportive about it. I think she is beautiful and I tell her that. But there is a problem, she has a hairstyle which.. I am not fan of. I wont go into details but I believe it is not a good fit for her for few reasons. She also likes it mainly because you can style it in around 2 minutes. She spends more than half an hour for makeup but she does not want spend time for making hair. So I wanted her to change it. I showed her some hairstyles I liked and I asked her to get one she likes. She did but she started complaining about how it takes around 10 minutes to style it and we had an argument about it.At this point, I look like an asshole, I agree. But I need to give some extra information. First thing is, she told me she likes muscles. I started working out, I even drink protein milk which I never thought I would do. She also said she doesn't like beard that much, I started shaving. She also prefers shorter hair, so I have shorter hair. But she does not demand these things. She keeps saying ""please don't force yourself too much"" or ""you don't need to"" and she is honest about it. But I want to make her happy so I spend at least around 1.5 hours every day for her. That is why I thought it would be okay for me to ask for her to change her hair. Because I am doing more for her and I would do much more if she asks.We made up already and we apologized to each other, she felt bad for denying my request, I felt bad for asking her to change her hair. She is a person who would accept everything I say if I ask for it enough, so I just want to know if I am asking too much. I don't demand much but I think I am more persistent.Thanks",AITA for asking my partner to change her hair?,YTA
10zumd3,I let my good friend listen in on a conversation between me and my roommate because he keeps saying I’m trying to manipulate his feelings. I’m a female and he is male we are both straight and are good friends.First he likes to tell me what to do and get mad if I don’t do it. He comes in my room to tell me we are just friends. I do get why he had to do that but he keeps doing that. He calls me all the time morning and night. Out the blue tells me I need to date and I should go to a bar alone ps I don’t have a car.,AITA for letting my friend listen on FaceTime a conversation with my roommate/other friend,NTA
10zui0a,"I (23F) am currently processing a traumatizing breakup. I'm the person that people in groupies escape to when they can't handle the crowd anymore and just want a more intimate conversation. Basically, I have no support system, but I'm at the ready for when people need to lean on me. I have this one friend (23M) who has this pattern of coming to me when he's at his lowest and then disappearing when he's good again. He recently quit his job and wanted some company, so when he messaged to hang out I agreed hoping that it would also help me get my mind off of the things I was suffering from silently.We watched Titanic in theaters and went bar hopping before calling it a night. As fun as it was,the movie had me missing my ex and I spent every moment after the movie just a little bitter that I couldn't confide in my friend about it. He finally asked me what was wrong on the way home.I opened up, telling him that I had just got out of a relationship that started out like Jack and Rose but in the end my Jack turned into the worst parts of Cal and I'm left picking up the pieces of my heart from the floor of an ocean of tears.My friend turned to me and told me, ""that's very selfish of you."" I relate to Rose alot, my mother called me selfish when I showed some resisitance to my own arranged marriage, my ex-fiance called me selfish for dishonoring him by loving another and now my friend was telling me I'm selfish for leaving ""Jack"" when he got abusive. ""Your ex pretty much saves your life and then you can't even stick around to save his? You say you love him unconditionally, so why did you leave the second he needs you? You're a narcissist that can't stand when it's someone else's turn to cry."" I told the friend that he's the absolute last person I wanted to hear that from because he never hits me up outside of his own self interest. He told me that he doesn't feel like he's taking advantage of me because I seem to have accepted my position in his life, and I'm just as bad for using his low points as an opportunity to experience a social life I wouldn't otherwise have. He's not completely wrong, I really WOULDN'T have a social life if it wasn't for people running to me when they're sad because they're too busy with someone else when they're happy. That being said, I DO genuinely care about my friends' well-being and I only ever go out once in a blue anyways. I feel kinda baited, like I wasn't actually supposed to answer truthfully when he asked me what's wrong. The night out was supposed to be about him, but somehow it became all about me and I can see where he was coming from. I'm having trouble feeling sorry for myself. Do I even have the right to feel used if he views our dynamic as  mutually beneficial?",AITA for sticking around a toxic friend for the social status?,NTA
10zufeb,"I don't know if  I sound like a spoiled adult child, and if I do sorry. I don't feel bad but thought this would be perfect to ask on here. so basically we live with a family member right now ,and we'll hopefully move in about 2 week's, and I'll get a job and save and perhaps get my own place. any ways my parents get upset about how this, family member seems like they're annoyed when we're here. and that she has to see us everyday, or come home to us, this family makes noises and faces.  now I feel like it's mean but I get it. now to the meat and potatoes, I always go into my parents room, at least the one they're staying in. i like to be around them and sometimes watch a movie or two. I don't have to but we do, but after coming, in about every other day for 4 day's they seem annoyed. and make face's and look upset. so today I thought let me come in today,  I felt they may be tired of me, but I thought why? they should understand opening arms. any ways I went in, and then I saw they're enamor go down, so then I said you know I  don't have to watch a movie, every time I come in here, you can just watch what you want. but I said it will a smile, then my dad just threw his hand up, like what ever. and my mom said okay with a smirk like saying calm down, but I wasn't being crazy, I knew what she was thinking, like  I called her out. but I didn't I just wanted them to know, I wasn't trying to impose just spend time with them. any ways I  politely left and wont spend time with them like that again. AITA for getting made at my parents and trying to eat up they're time.",AITA for always trying to hang with everyone?,YTA
110lliy,"I am currently 8 months pregnant, and because of that, I often get quite tired when I stand or walk for long periods of time. Yesterday afternoon, I was craving ice cream, so I drove to a nearby shopping center to visit my favorite ice cream shop. Unfortunately, the place was quite crowded, and all of the tables surrounding the shop, as well as some nearby sofas were taken. Because of that, after getting my ice cream, I decided to sit on one of two massage chairs that were close, and eat it there.Once I started eating the snack, I got approached by a couple that was in their late teens, or perhaps early twenties. They asked me to get off the chair, since I wasn't getting a massage, and they wanted to receive such a service together, which I refused to do. In return, I offered to leave once I finished eating, or if they found me a different place to sit, since I could not stand for more than a few minutes at a time, and had a relatively large dessert that I wanted to finish.Upon hearing that, the girl was not happy. She told me to stop acting as if I was ill, that just because I was pregnant, the world did not revolve around me, and because I was not paying for a massage, I had no right to sit on the chair. She then asked her partner to get a security guard, and a few moments later, he came with such an employee.The guard took my side, and asked the couple to either take turns using the second massage chair, or wait for me to finish eating, which upset the girl quite a bit. She accused me of being selfish and preventing the owner of the chairs from earning money, and left with her partner. Upon telling this story to my younger sister, she told me that I should have went to the ice cream stand when the shopping center was less crowded, if I wasn't able to eat while standing, however, my older sister believes that I had every right to sit on the massage chair if all the other spots were taken, and the couple was being unreasonable. Because of that, I'm not sure if I am the asshole in this situation.Edit: This really blew up, and now that I think about this situation, I can see that I am, indeed, in the wrong. Next time a similar situation happens, I will order the ice cream in an edible bowl, and eat it in my car, instead of taking up sitting spots that are owned by other businesses.",AITA for not getting up from a massage chair when someone wanted to use it?,YTA
110lz1f,"I 23f am currently 8 months pregnant. We had been keeping it a secret and planned to tell people around this time, but a few months after my pregnancy my SIL26 found out she was pregnant, and then it just felt awkward to announce. We wanted to wait for the right time. I’ve been with married to my Husband for only 6 months, but we’ve been together on and off since we were 14 (permanently together since we were 16)When we were 17, we found out I was pregnant I had complications, I gave birth to my preemie stillborn at 25 weeks. So this pregnancy we’ve been extra cautious, and secretive. I haven’t seen family much these past few months and I carry small, but as I developed a bump I’ve been wearing hoodies and loose clothing. With that I kind of just looked like I gained weight. We were hesitant on me going, I was just going to send my husband with a gift of mine, but SIL said she really wanted me there. I decided to try my best to hide the bump and go.It was all going well, no one noticed, I mean I got a few looks but no one asked me anything. Then about an hour in I started having tiny cramps, that eventually got more aggressive. I told my husband we need to leave I need to go to the hospital. As We we’re walking a sharp pain hit me and I grabbed the picnic table next to me and almost stumbled over causing attention to myself. I really thought I was in labor, the pains were getting so intense. People started surrounding us, asking what was the matter and my husband says “She’s pregnant, guys she pregnant, something’s goin on, we have to leave.” He was panicked himself. He rushed me to the hospital.By the time we got the hospital my pains had subsided, they said it was false labor. My husband and I both had angry texted messages from SIL and other guest at the party about us hiding the pregnancy,how messed up it was, and how they couldn’t believe I showed up pregnant and was secret about it. How I had a “babystunt” at someone else’s shower Just a lot of not nice text. Not one asking if I was alright.",AITA for hiding my pregnancy and showing up to SIL babyshower,NTA
110nz69,"I work as a lifeguard at a waterpark and part of my job includes managing the top of the waterslides. I’m to make sure no one does anything dangerous like going face first, cramming too many people on one innertube, etc. I’m also instructed to ask anyone who looks like they could be over the weight limit–250 pounds–to weigh themselves on our scale, and deny them entry if they refuse. I’m not super comfortable with this, but it’s much better than risking people’s safety.Here lies the problem: I lift weights, and for this reason I am very dense–I weigh 185 pounds but somehow wear a size 6. Most of my friends also lift and have similar body compositions to me. For this reason I have trouble estimating how much someone actually weighs.This problem presented itself last weekend when an overweight teenage girl wanted to ride the slide. She most likely wasn’t over 250 pounds, but I couldn’t be certain. I’ve gotten better at estimating weights but my supervisor says if there’s any chance they’re over 250 to weigh them, so I approached her gently and asked her to please get on the scale. She met me with a snarky teenager attitude and said “what if I refuse?” She was with a group of teenagers, some of whom were giggling.“Then you won’t be allowed on the slide,” I said matter-of-factly.She rolled her eyes and got on the scale, and her weight wasn’t even close to 250 so I felt kind of bad. She then said “See?” and went along with her friends.Although she gave me attitude I could tell she was embarrassed. Her face was red as she went back to her friends, who were all thin. I asked my supervisor how he would have handled the situation and he said I did the right thing, that it’s better to hurt someone’s feelings than break someone’s bones.However, yesterday I was called into the office of the owner of the waterpark. She told me she received an angry email from a parent about how I embarrassed their child in front of her friends. I explained to her that I was just following protocol and she asked me how much the girl actually weighed. I gave her the answer and she laughed at me and told me I could never get a job as a weight guesser at a carnival and that I need to do my job better. My supervisor is backing me up and saying I was doing what he has required me to do. I’m thankful for his support but honestly this whole situation is making me feel like an a\*\*hole. I know teenage girls are a particularly vulnerable population, as I was a teenage girl not too long ago, and I could have possibly handled that situation with more care. But at the same time safety is my first priority. Does that make me the a\*\*hole?",AITA for making a teenage girl weigh herself at the top of a waterslide?,NTA
110r17t,"I am an art teacher at a school in a small town, recently I welcomed a new student to the class, he had previously been homeschooled but had begged his parents to let him go to normal school with his friends, he's a great kid, he has already fit right in with the class and he does really great work, my only issue with him has been that he does not ask to leave the classroom, if he needs a bathroom he just leaves. I'm not the strict ""everything needs to be my way"" kind of teacher, but administration has a very strict policy for students outside of classrooms during class periods.I asked his parents to come in so we could discuss it, to try to get them to help me figure out a way to get him to follow this rule. They arrived and seemed like fine enough people, but then saw my photo on my desk of myself (28m) and my husband (31M) they asked who it was and I was honest, it has never been an issue before. They later called the school to report me for ""inappropriate behavior in the classroom"" mind you I do not talk about my husband in class, I am there to teach, not preach lol. Administration is definitely with me on this, but honestly they have started sending some really rude emails to my school provided account and I would like to honor their wishes that their child not be ""exposed"" to my ""disgusting lifestyle""I may be the asshole here because as good of a student as he is I just no longer feel comfortable with him in my class, he loves art class and there are no other art teachers at the school so he'd be removed from the course entirely which I know isn't fair to him. But it also is not fair to me to be called things like groomer, and accused of working in a school to ""corrupt innocent minds with [my] filth""Edit: forgot to add, they have requested I be fired and replacedEdit 2: gonna talk to a lawyer, but also we have talked it over and decided to move after the school year, going to go somewhere a bit bluer, thanks everyone!",WIBTA for requesting a child be removed from my class due to his parents?,NTA
110sa1h,"I (33m) share one child (6f) with my wife (36f). She has another daughter (13f) that lives with us full time, we also have custody of our niece (15f). The teens are each other’s best friends, they share a large bedroom which was done at their request. The dynamic here is pretty much mom and youngest against the teens, with me being the referee between everyone. My wife has taught the youngest, she can blame others for her actions to avoid consequences. She just says the word, one of the teens will get punished without question. There’s no doubt, she is my wife’s favorite. I love her, but she’s becoming nothing more than an entitled brat. As just a mere example, my wife and I had an appointment we both needed to attend. When we came back, it was apparent the pool had been used. They’re not allowed to swim while we aren’t home. As the youngest divulged, “Mommy I was in my room coloring, I never went swimming.” The teens said that was not true, she had gone swimming as well. Only the teens were punished, my wife refused to give the youngest any type of consequence. I later found her wet swimming suit hidden in the garage. My wife and I argued, I felt strongly she needed to not only be punished for swimming, but also for lying. After a relentless disagreement, I was silenced as she gave the youngest a very minimal consequence. The lying, blaming and favoritism ultimately caused the teens to act out, understandably. Most of their consequences are done by giving more chores, specifically the chores the 6 year old has. Or as recent, they were removed from music lessons as a consequence. I believe they’re so frustrated they don’t even care when they verbally attack their mother after her unfair treatment towards them. After all, they already get blamed and punished for things they don’t even do, from my perspective lashing out gives them a release. We’ve have had countless, tiring arguments. She’d either not see her faults, or we’d agree to do this and that, but it was never actually done. I decided to write her a performance review, as a SAHM. Her areas in need of improvement, well it was a lot. But I touched on how she needs to listen better, stop being biased. Be fair in all her decisions, stop making rash decisions without taking all three kids into consideration. I recommended her to give each child the same amount of one-on-one alone time to speak, or just be with one another. So it wouldn’t be an entirely slap to her face, I gave her accolades on her strong points for other areas aside from parenting. I guess I felt this would work best, because I could organize my thoughts on paper without her interjecting. However, it quickly backfired in my face. She was quiet the first hour after I handed it to her. Then she completely exploded on me, said if we’re going to do this type shit she’ll get a private bank account and take half my paycheck every week. She further said the review was abusive, and a manipulative sexist move. AITA?",AITA for giving my SAHM wife a written performance review with suggested areas needing improvement?,YTA
110xuih,"Edit: when I got home I did tell him I was tired and I asked if he could do it but he started saying that I had promised And he had plans with his friend already, so I agreed again afterwards and then I took a nap and overslept and when I woke up there was only an hour before the laundromat closed, so I could have still gone but it would’ve been really rushed (and I was probably being a bit petty)Also the blazer is from H&M.to keep this short my (25f) bf (26m) had a big interview on Friday that could jumpstart his career. He’s been planning for it for about 3 weeks. Usually I do all the laundry and take care of our flat in terms of cleaning.On Wednesday he told me he wanted to wear a very specific blazer and it was in the bin to be washed. I usually do laundry on the weekends because I am a full time uni student + I work part time so during the week is hard to make time to go to the laundromat. I told him I would do it Thursday night though, and he said ok. (Mind you he hasn’t been working since he just graduated school in the fall semester so since the end of December, his parents help him pay the rent until he gets a job) Anyway Thursday rolls around and I get home from class and he’s just playing a video game and he immediately asks me when I’m going to do laundry since he’s very nervous and wants it to go perfectly. I’m so tired from school bc I had an exam he didn’t even ask me about, so I feel irritated and say I’m going to do it later but I’m going to nap first, he again says ok and he’s going to meet up with a friend for a drink to help calm his nerves.Anyway as the title says, I ended up not doing the laundry because I was tired and also partially pissed off. He was super pissed, ended up wearing something else and saying that I screwed him up by not fufilling what I agreed to. I thought this might blow over since he said it still went well despite me “attempting to sabatoge him” but he is not speaking to him still and has even said he may go stay with his parents over this. Was I really that much of an ass?",AITA for screwing up my boyfriends interview by not doing his laundry on purpose?,ESH
110tvop,"To give a little context me and my gf were driving and to make the time pass quicker we were playing spelling bee. She would say a word and I would spell it out. After some time back and forth, we switched to me asking her how to do some maths questions. Namely calculating the price after a percentage discount has been applied. After a few questions, I noticed that she was counting on her fingers to help her solve those questions that me seemed easy and I can do that in my head.  Now I have no problem with her using whatever method to work out the answer, however while she was counting on her fingers I said “it would be embarrassing if you did that in the office”. After that it was silence in the car and some arguing. I don’t feel like what I said is wrong, as I wasn’t making fun of her for counting on her fingers, I was just stating that in an office environment counting on your fingers would be embarrassing.AITA?",AITA for saying counting on your fingers in the office would be embarrassing,YTA
110mqtm,I have a 13 years old daughter with my ex wife. She also has 2 more kids who I think are 11 and 8.My daughter hates taking the bus to school because it takes longer and isn't much comfortable. This year my work schedule changed so now I'm free to take her to school and bring her back. We usually get breakfast on our way to school or we spend some time afterwards.My ex asked me to give her other kids a ride as well. She thinks I should do this because her older kid goes to the same school as my daughter and her younger kid's school is on my way. She says her kids get jealous when they see their sister doesn't have to take the bus which takes about an hour longer to get to home or school.I told her I will not do it because her kids are not my responsibility and she thinks I'm an asshole,AITA for not giving my ex wife's kids a ride?,NTA
110ub19,"First-world problem here... but I'm being called an AH for it. A brief summary:I spent most of the pandemic turning my basement into a world-class home theatre. I designed it, I spent the money, I spent the time. It took a lot of effort. It's a work of art, with a 120-inch screen, laser projector, Dolby Atmos sound system, comfy sofas, popcorn machine and snack bar. It's all as awesome as it sounds.Needless to say, it's become very popular... with family, with friends, with the kids. People are over all the time watching TV, movies and playing video games. It's great -- I love I've created something so many people can appreciate and enjoy.While the vast majority of the time this theatre is available, I've made it clear there are times when I want it for myself... certain sporting events, and most certainly the Super Bowl (which is kicking off shortly).I made it clear anyone who wants to join me is welcome... there will be popcorn, pizza and drinks. Come on over, should be great. My wife is off doing something else and our kids, teenagers, are off somewhere else. As it turns out, I thought I might have it all to myself and that's fine but, like I said, anyone was welcome to join me.I got a call yesterday from family (wife's sister-in-law, who's married to my wife's brother, who have a couple of kids 11 and 9) asking if they could come over for it. Sure, I said, but I didn't know you guys were sports fans... I asked if they even knew who was playing. Yeah, she said... Philadelphia, right? The Flyers? No, the Flyers is hockey... whatever, come on over.I thought the worst thing might be I'd be explaining football rules to people who know nothing about the game, but whatever.They came over an hour before kickoff, and the kids ran to the theatre while I said the hellos upstairs. By the time I came back down to watch the pre-game show, they were on the PS5 playing... and asked what movie we'd be watching.Which led me going upstairs and discussing with the parents -- wtf is going on here? As it turns out, the parents thought they could come over and of course I'd hand over the theatre... and said so to their kids. And my wife's not even here. After all, I just want to watch the game alone; why not watch upstairs in the living room? It's a nice big TV. Yeah, no... if you want to watch a movie, go right ahead... the living room is indeed available, but the theatre is the Super Bowl.Which led to a stupid argument, me being called an AH, crying kids. I think they've left but I'm not sure. I am downstairs, alone, and I don't care, but I am pissed off that this mood is kind of ruined. KC just won the coin toss, this is about to begin, and I'm thinking about this bullshit instead of the game. I texted and left a message to my wife explaining what happened but have not heard back yet.OK, first down Flyers! That's it for now.... but feel free to explain to me who I might be the AH in this scenario. I sincerely don't think so.POST GAME EDIT: Thank you all for responding, overwhelmingly agreeing with what I thought. That's validating. A few on you touched on a point that's not irrelevant, and good food for thought... which is that they knew my wife would be away, and I don't think they'd have tried to pull this stunt if she'd been home... alluding to point that these people are using me, or at least trying to. I have to reflect on the fact that there's some truth to that, and that's for a whole other post. I have been very open and generous with this theatre, perhaps too much.",AITA for wanting to watch the Super Bowl in my home theatre?,NTA
110v6yz,"I (28f) was at work last week and I have a coworker (mid 20s, m) who is autistic. My dad died in a terrible accident when I was younger. As far as most people know, they're aware that he's passed but don't know the details. My autistic coworker came up to me the other day and started asking me personal questions. I don't mind answering most of them, but when he asked about my dad, I clearly told him I don't want to talk about it. He kept asking why and pried even after I repeatedly told him that it's sensitive. It got to the point I was pissed off.I told him that my dad is dead and detailed everything from how he died, all the injuries, the funeral, everything. It sent my coworker into a panic attack from the details. He had to leave work early. My boss pulled me aside to ask what's going on and I told him what happened and told me he'll take care of it.When my coworker came back next day, my boss pulled him aside and proceeded to fire him because there have been one or two similar incidences. People were trying to pry and say I was an asshole because he's autistic. I responded that there's a difference between an excuse and an explanation, and they're using his autism as an excuse. AITA?",AITA because I sent an autistic guy into a panic attack by telling him exactly how my dad died because he kept asking me about it?,NTA
110segr,"My (50M) mother recently passed away and my brother (48M) and I inherited her house worth about 1.5 million. My brother has asked if I could give up my share of the inheritance so he could own and live in the house. His reasoning is that I’m already well off and already own and paid off my own house, and this was his only chance to own a home. I said no, but offered 4 alternative options: we can sell the house, he could buy me out, we could rent out the house and split the profits, or he could live there with his family for free as long as he could pay for the taxes and upkeep of the house.Now he’s upset with me because he says I’m already set in life, while he’s still struggling to make ends meet and doesn’t own a house.Here’s some additional context:We grew up in a poor, but very loving family. My parents worked really hard to provide for us, and really stressed pursuing college to free ourselves from poverty. I worked hard, took loans, went to college, got a good paying job, got married, and had kids. My brother graduated college, but didn’t end up pursuing his field, and job hopped from one minimum wage job to the next. He’s married now and has a toddler. I feel bad for his situation, but I feel like I’m being punished for my success. I worked hard to get where I am today. I love my brother and want what’s best for him and his family. But my share of the inheritance would still be a lot of money. Am I being greedy, and AITA?",AITA for refusing to give up my share of the inheritance,NTA
110qd88,I’m 26 weeks pregnant and my clothes have become too tight. This is my second pregnancy and I bought a lot of maternity clothes during my first but I donated them to a friend who is also pregnant but was going through some financial hardships as she needed them more than I do. I was going to buy more maternity clothes when I needed them but I’ve started wearing my husband clothes and I find them a lot more comfortable and it’s not like I’m going to work every day so I’ve decided not to.My husband mostly doesn’t complain about me stealing his clothes all of the time and I’ve had dinner with his family twice wearing his clothes. They’ve never said anything to me directly but my sister-in-law told my husband to ask me to wear something more suitable the next time as her parents would be there. I saw her texts and they really upset me so I’m refusing to buy maternity clothes just for their stupid dinners.My husband offered to go buy some for me and has even tried dangling the idea of us going somewhere nice for a date soon to try to convince me I need them but I haven’t budged. I did text my sister-in-law to let her know I didn’t appreciate it but that only opened the door for her to try to convince me/argue with me over me needing maternity clothes.AITA?,AITA for wearing my husband’s clothes instead of buying maternity clothes?,NTA
110j7lz,"I have tattoos. My fiancee, Valeria, has tattoos.  Neither of us is a tattoo virgin.  I do not control her or tell her what to do with her body.  We just got back from three weeks in the Philippines.  Valeria isn't talking to me.  She decided that she really wanted a traditional Filipino tattoo.  I believe it is called Batok.  Her grandmother is from the Philippines and it was something she wanted to.yet on here honor.  None of this was an issue.  What was am issue was that she decided to get it on our fourth day there.  If you don't know anything about tattoos just think of fresh tattoos as an open wound.  So for the rest of our time there she didn't go in the water.  She could shower but that was about it.  So nothing in the ocean.  Except for sailing  She couldn't snorkel, scuba, parasail, jet ski. Nothing.  And she got mad at me if I went.  Before she even got it I said that she should wait and have it done on our way home.  Nope not good enough.  It had to be from this one artist who had time for her that day.  I told her it was a dumb decision.  I tried pulling up pictures of infected tattoos to show her it was a bad idea.  She ignored me.  After she got the tattoo the grandson of the artist.told her the rules. Including don't go in the damn ocean.  Which I had already told her.  She said that it was something she always wanted and that we might not have had an opportunity to see that artist again.  I would have made the effort to get her back there before we left.  Now she is pissed that she spent all this money and time on her vacation and basically had to sit by the pool and drink for most of it.  ""Like her mom and dad would do"". I don't see how her decision is my fault.  But she is still.upset with me.  To finish off. I did not say she was dumb.  I said she made a dumb decision.  I didn't rub it in afterwards.  All my efforts went into convincing her to wait beforehand.",AITA for telling my fiancee her decision to get a tattoo was dumb.,NTA
110itsv,"I (25F) am about to get married to my fiance (28M) and we already got the wedding list down, however my sister (25F, Irish twin) just rejected my invitation cause apparently she doesn't believe she can be at my wedding without her ""trauma"" being triggered.Her husband died 6 years ago just 10 days after they got married and now my sister thinks attending another wedding would trigger all of these memories and it would be too much for her, even tho she knew her husband would die soon after their wedding cause he had late stage cancer (and that was only reason they even got married) and it was 6 years ago, so by all means she shouldn't be so traumatized that she'd avoid any and all weddings, including mine. Honestly I feel like this trauma thing is just an excuse not to come cause we've always had a rocky relationship, but c'mon now, it's my wedding, she should put that aside and support me during my biggest day. Also her friend called me to complain about how our family ""harassing"" my sister to come to my wedding are sending her into depression and even made her skip work, which I admit I did got my family to try to convince my sister to attend my wedding, but nobody has been harassing anyone and I feel like she's once again playing the ""depression card"" so she can get away with her unfair treatment of me, but now even my fiance is on her side and wants to leave her alone cause it's not worth it to ""bully"" anyone to come to our wedding (he also suggested me to post this here).AITA ?","AITA for thinking that my sister is selfish for wanting to skip my wedding cause of her ""trauma"" ?",YTA
110vd79,"I (34f) am throwing Super Bowl get party at my house for my extended family today. My mother in law and my brother-in-law and his children were carpooling to my house.I told them my husband and I’s party was going to start at 6. This morning I texted them to ask what time they would be over here by. They didn’t respond the whole day, and they just came over at 5:00pm unannounced.I refused to let them in, since I wasn’t ready and they weren’t invited at that time. My mil demanded to be let in and argued that it was cold out (it wasn’t that cold it was 45 degrees). I told them my house my rules and that they should go out and eat or something and come back in an hour. When they refused, my husband and I said I would call the police if they wouldn’t leave willingly.My brother in law left in a huff. When 6 rolled around, they didn’t come back, and my brother in law just left a snarky message saying that they were going to watch the Super Bowl at his house instead.​Now my extended family won’t speak to me.",AITA for not allowing my family into my house?,YTA
110j37t,"My husband was in an accident while he was visiting his family. My in-laws weren’t planning to tell me because we’ve been having issues for over a year that they know about but he kept asking for me so they finally did. He had already been discharged from the hospital by the time I got there so he was recovering at their family home. I went straight there as soon as my flight landed but my brother-in-law was refusing to let me in to see him. He told me to wait outside until my husband woke up and if he still wanted to see me then he would let me in. He was also implying the accident was my fault. I was tired and irritated so I told him that if my husband died, I would inherit their family home and then I’d be the one keeping him outside. He took it to mean I was disappointed my husband hadn’t died which couldn't be further from the truth. I eventually left and got a hotel because he got so angry that he was scaring me and continuing to argue with him would've been pointless.He told everybody what I said so when I next went to see my husband things were awkward between me and his family. No matter how many times I’ve tried to explain I never meant it the way my brother-in-law took it, it hasn’t made a difference. The only person who didn't take my brother-in-law at his word is my husband, who has been making a joke out of it.AITA?","AITA for saying that if my husband died, I would inherit their family home to my brother-in-law?",ESH
110qlwy,"I (16m) think that, overall, my school is an okay place. The staff members are all nice and everything, but one thing I noticed is that they definitely have a bias towards students with disabilities like autism. I know sometimes it's necessary to give certain kids extra help and stuff, but there's kids in my school that have been harassing my friends and I all year, and they never get in trouble because of their autism. There's a lot of them, but there's one boy that's really been a problem for a long time. He does have autism, but it's not like he can't function. He walks to every class on his own without needing help and is capable of doing things himself. But he's not a nice kid at all. He takes pictures of people without consent. He comes to my table at lunch, starts mocking my friends and I, and won't leave. He also said some really racist and sexist things. He's always coming up to me and bragging about stupid things, like how he's taller than me. (I'm 5'3 and he's 5'8, and he's seriously saying that because he's taller he's more attractive.) For some weird reason, he also seems very attached to me. We're in most of our classes together, and he insists on sitting near me in all of them. He also tells on me for everything I do. If I have my phone out he'll tell the teacher. Which, okay, I shouldn't have my phone out, but it's not his business. A few days ago, I was walking with my friend through the hallway, and I caught him taking pictures of me or taking a video or something. (I know because he was walking farther behind us and holding his phone out) At first I wasn't going to say anything since, because of his disability, I would be the one getting in trouble if I did something. But my friend got defensive and told him to leave us alone, and they started arguing. Eventually I just lost patience and snapped at the kid and told him to fuck off. One of the teachers came over and asked what was happening, and she brought all of us to the principal, and the kid said that my friend and I were ""ganging up on him."" My friend interrupted him and told the principal about what the boy was doing. The boy apologized to us and explained that he's autistic and sometimes doesn't know what's not acceptable to do. The principal seemed like he believed him, and when he was about to let him go, I cut in and said that just because he has autism doesn't mean he's not an asshole, and everyone needed to realize that. After that, the school called my parents. When I got home my dad was really mad at me for disrespecting the kid. My mom understood but my dad wanted to take my phone away. Aita?",AITA for saying that just because my classmate has autism doesn't mean he's not an asshole?,NTA
110v1fr,"My friend (51 F) says she's diagnosed with EDS. I offered to help her with her yard at her house, and I noticed she was asleep for most of the day. When she woke up I asked her why she wasn't helping me do some of the work and she said she still feels tired. I said ''how can you feel tired when you sleep all day?'' she told me ''because I have EDS'' and I told her my son has EDS and he works in a prison every day of the week. He sleeps 8 hours each night and works for the entire day no problem. I told her she's not putting in any effort and she's being lazy. She began to get upset and emotional and I'd had enough so I left. AITA here?",AITA for questioning my friend's EDS,YTA
110uu9s,"Fellow Redditors: I’ve been married for more than two decades, and for most of that time my wife and I have made similar money. Four years ago I started climbing the corporate ladder, and my income has steadily grown to around 1.7x what my wife makes.Coincidentally, my wife and I welcomed our 3rd child just before my income started to diverge from hers. At that time, I took over all our household bills to allow her to take a few months of maternity leave. Once she returned to work and resumed earning income, she declined to take on a portion of the bills, and has grown more resistant to doing so as my income has grown.All I’m asking is for her to be responsible for a portion of our monthly bills as a symbol of shared responsibility for our family. I am being told that I’m just greedy and all I care about is money. AITA for expecting her to share in our expenses?",AITA for expecting my wife who makes less money than me to pay some of the bills?,NTA
110hckz,"My brother is having a destination wedding.   I'm sure it will be very nice.   I am a widowed, single mom with two young kids.  I'm not destitute or even hard up.  My husband had insurance.  We live in a paid off house and we have investments that provide me with an excellent amount of backstop to my salary.  I would would rather be in debt up to my eyes and be in his arms every night.  Trust me.  The wedding will cost about $2,200 for a week.  It is a very good resort.  I RSVP'd no.  Maybe if it was in the summer I would consider it a vacation.  But I would need to take time off school.  My in-laws are retired and they love watching the kids but they are elderly, my husband was a little older than me, and my kids are a lot to take for a week.  If I take the kids out of school and bring them to the wedding then it will cost $5,500 since we would be sharing a room. That would put a massive dent in our budget.  I know that my parents are still working to save for retirement. So this will be expensive for them.  My brother called me right away to ask why I wasn't coming.  I said I really wanted to come but I just couldn't justify it.  He said that I have lots of money in the bank.  That's not really any of his business.  And if, god forbid, something happens to me, my kids are going to need that money.  I'm not going to blow a chunk of it on a wedding.  He is upset that I won't be coming. He kept pushing until I finally admitted that I just didn't think it was the best use of my money.  Then I said something I probably should not have.  I said if he really wanted me there then he could pay for the trip.   He hung up and hasn't called back.  My parents did call me though and they said that I didn't need to hoard all my money.  I'm torn.  Am I being an asshole by not splurging a little and going to my brother's wedding?  Am I an asshole for basically telling him he has to pay me to go?  I can see his point of view but I have a lot of other things I need to consider.  I thought maybe an outside perspective would tell me if I'm being a bitch.Edit.Before everyone jumps on my brother.  He came to my destination wedding.  But it wasn't as expensive and he stayed in the same room asy parents. And my husband paid for everyone in our family that we invited.",AITA for telling my brother that I will only attend his wedding if he pays.,NTA
110re5m,"My (F26) twin brother (M26) and I are super close. We went to the same college and I also became very close with his gf (F28). They've been dating for around six years and my brother has told me that they've discussed marriage and kids but were waiting for him to finish his master's degree.Around a year ago his gf called me for some advice. She told me that she was pregnant but didn't think that she wanted to have the baby. She wanted my opinion on how he would take it as they have discussed having kids. We're both pro-choice but that said my brother was super supportive when I had my daughter (F3, her dad split before she was born). He has been a great uncle, always talking about how he can't wait to have kids of his own, etc. I told her that it could be a deal-breaker for him but she had to tell him to find out. She said she would be telling him and also asked that I keep it to myself.  He never brought it up with me and there was no baby so I assumed he was working it through on his own (he's like that sometimes).My brother asked for help picking out a ring and I offered to let him use our great-grandmother's ring to propose (it was left to me). We agreed he would come for a visit to pick it up just before he's going to ask her.He came over last weekend to pick it up. He arranged for some of my friends to take me out for a girls' night and he babysat giving me a much needed break as a small thank you. When I got home I was feeling sentimental so I started tell him how happy our Nana would have been that he's getting married, how he's going to be a great dad and how proud of him I am that they were able to move past their trouble in the last year, etc. He didn't react at all, we just carried on talking until I went to bed. The next morning was completely normal, he made breakfast for us, took the ring and said his good-byes.Yesterday he called me in tears. He had picked up on what I said and asked his gf about it. He said at first she wouldn't tell him but eventually told him the whole story. He gave it some time but decided he couldn't marry her so he broke things off. He said it was about how she could keep so something important from him that he didn't think he could trust her ever again. He also told me that he was a little hurt that I didn't tell him at the time but he understood that I thought he knew.Shortly after that I started to get messages from his gf and a couple of college friends saying I'm an AH for telling him and ruining her life. I feel  bad that they broke up and I kind of feel like it's my fault. I legitimately thought she had told him and I was expressing pride that I thought he had grown to accept her reasons/feelings in addition to his own.So reddit, AITA?",AITA for letting a secret slip leading to a break-up?,NTA
110qs0s,"I am a woman 30 years old I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend 28 years old for almost three years. We love each other and we have contemplated the future together. Our relationship is not perfect but we have worked around every issue. We live together, we rent an apartment and we split the expenses, I pay half of everything and sometimes more because I make the double money as him. His family doesn't like me, starting with his mom. We had a big argument and we no longer are in touch. I should mention that during that argument my boyfriend took his mom's side all the time, even when she screamed at me saying I have no rights in the apartment my boyfriend and I RENT because my name is not on the lease, and because it's his son's house she can do whatever she wants without consulting with me.   I took that as the signal to start buying my own place. I'm financially stable, I make good money and I have excellent credit and so I did. During the process of buying, I told my boyfriend about my plans and he got upset because is not going to be his house. I offered him that I'd pay the whole mortgage, in the end, is my house, and he could help out with the utilities in the home. He was not pleased with the idea. To avoid more problems I decided I would put him on the title of the house even though the downpayment was all mine, the closing cost was all my money, and it's my credit on the house. After I put him on the title of the house he told me he will pay 23% of the mortgage plus the utilities of the house and I will take on the rest since I make more money.  I'm not comfortable with putting him on the title of the house and I don't think it's a good idea, we are not even married and I don't think I'm being financially smart here. I feel I'm being pressured to do that to save our relationship. I don't want to tell him how I feel because we are still recovering from the argument with his mom and I fear that would affect our relationship even more. AM I THE ASSHOLE?",AITA FOR NOT WANTING TO ADD MY BOYFRIEND TO THE TITLE OF THE HOUSE I'M BUYING?,NTA
110n9gu," [My previous thread.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10r4igm/aita_for_losing_my_cool_at_a_passerby_trying_to/)So,  first off I just wanted to extend my thanks for everyone who weighed in  on the matter. I have a lot of issues I battle with on the daily, and  one of those without getting soapbox-y is how I come off to people. I  would much rather maintain the peace instead of stoke the flames of  drama. As a sort of thank you, I just wanted to give everyone a very  quick wrap up.We are nearing two  weeks now since the incident (11 days from posting, the few days after  where he didn't re-appear), so it's pretty safe to say he got the  message. Here is what happened since then, and hopefully some of this  can help others who encounter a similar situation:* I have placed a ""do not feed the animals"" sign up facing the foot traffic area. I decided it would be good to have as an additional deterrent.* The ground is too cold now, and too temperamental at the moment, but once it starts to get warmer we will be installing metal slates to go inside our fencing to deter interaction.* I  spoke with the neighborhood, two families mentioned they know who he  is, that he lives alone and they had to tell him to not do that either  but only after threatening the cops did he stop (similar to me). I also  asked if they believed him to have some form of dementia or other memory  impairing disease. One of the men spoke up saying he talks to him  literally every other week or so when he comes in to his shop to ask  questions. They have full conversations, and he, quote, ""has one of the  sharpest memories he ever seen, that he even remembers things I don't  remember.""* Cops  were notified regardless. I told them I don't expect any more trouble,  and that they were told about him from someone else a few months ago so  that if I see him again to just call it in. Probably one of the families  I talked to.* Puppies  aren't too happy with me since they don't get their sporadic daily  treats from strangers, but thems the haps (and their stomachs will thank  me for it, much to the dismay of my slippers).That's  it really. I know it's not super eventful or anything, but that's  basically where we are now. I think this is as wrapped up as it can be.  Here's to hoping the sign does it's job better than my words for anyone  else in the future.Ya'll have a good rest of the evening, stay warm!",UPDATE: Regarding the elderly man feeding my dogs without my permission situation (actual closure for those who wanted a followup),NTA
110ypvp,"My M 28 and F 29 friends have been on-off for a few years. They've been FWB for a while now. They used protection and she was on BC.Recently F was worried that she was late on her period. Waited for a few days, got the pregnancy test and turned out she was pregnant. Both of them freaked out and together decided to not have the baby.A few days later, she changed her mind. She wanted to keep the baby. He didn't. He says he communicated this from the very beginning. Now she's pressurising him to be a father or at least pay child support because she can't afford to take care of the baby on her own. And her parents are back home, so she's alone here. Plus, they're not super rich.He apparently made her sign a waiver years ago that if this happened, he won't be responsible for the baby in any way. It's a legal document. She forgot about this. Now she and our other mutual friends are emotionally guilting him to discard the contract and help her out anyway. They've been calling him heartless and cold. He offered to pay for the abortion, but nothing more than that.She went emotional and crazy and started making social media posts about how men are all pigs and how her bf (not bf, a fuck buddy) is dumping her when she got pregnant to get sympathy and getting him involved in the child's life. He got nasty reactions from people online and IRL and is super pissed. He also retracted his offer for paying for the abortion. She's been asking me to convince him to change his mind because we're friends. I said no because it's none of my business. She took it as me not supporting her. Now somehow I also became the bad guy. So, AITA?",AITA for not supporting my friend who's not getting child support?,NTA
110r09d,"Earlier today I (21M) got out of the shower and didn’t put a shirt on. This isn’t usual for the morning time, but I forgot to bring a shirt with me to the bathroom to change into. I ran downstairs just to grab an apple to snack on.For context, I pay rent but my older brother (24M) is jobless so it’s my home to dress however I want, I’m about 200 lbs so yeah I’m kinda chubby but I’d say I’m far from “disgusting”. I’m still not sure why, but my brother’s future MIL (60’s?F) has been staying with us for the past few days. I don’t hate her, but she’s not someone I would ever want to spend any time with mainly because she’s overweight and really stinky.As I’m walking into the kitchen she looked at me and said “Ew that’s disgusting you need to put a shirt on!”Without missing a beat I say back “If you think this is disgusting I hope you never look in a mirror.”Now my brother, his fiancé (21F), and my mom (42F) are all mad at me. My grandma (66F) is on my side, but says I should just bite the bullet and apologize, but my sister (25F) and her boyfriend (28M) think it’s hilarious. I told them I’m not apologizing for my comment until she apologizes for hers so now it’s been kinda tense in the house for the past few hours.",AITA for telling my older brother’s future MIL not to look in the mirror?,NTA
110k2a9,"Hello! I am 45F, and I have a 20 years old son, Ron. He is deaf. He is high functioning (almost like a regular adult without a disability) and can speak and lip read, and is independent for most parts, and just relies on me for some stuff.Yesterday evening, I was watching Love on the Spectrum with my son. And I told my son that that even special needs person can find love, and even though he was one of them, due to his deafness, he can find love.He got upset with me and told me that Deaf is not special needs. I said that being deaf is a special needs because he relies on me for several stuff such as making phone calls for doctor appointment, or hearing fire alarm etc. He said that Special needs is referred to those that are low functioning and cannot be completely independent (such as Autism, Down Syndrome etc), and Ron said he was much more independent than them.I told him that he has to stop rejecting the fact that he is disabled, and he is special needs and there was nothing wrong with that.he got pretty upset with me, and told me that I was not a supportive person because he said that by saying he is special needs, I do not believe that he can ever be independent. And he just left the room.So AITA for saying that deaf is a special needs and my son is a special needs?​EDIT: My son believes love is not meant for him due to his disability. He thinks no one would love him for the way he is, which is why I told him that anyone can find love. He has told me consistently that he is forever alone due to his disability.",AITA for telling my son that Deaf is a special needs.,YTA
110p64i,"My wife's sister gave my son some clothing in December. One thing she gave him was a cute shirt. Today we were goofing off in the kitchen and his shirt got messy. I tried to get the stain out, but by the time I had cleaned my kitchen and my child the stain had already set, and the shirt is still wearable but no longer a going out shirt.My wife is upset her sister's gift was ruined and says it was inconsiderate for me to allow this to happen. I say four year olds are four year olds and things happen, and unless something is a dress shirt only worn at formal occasions, there's always a risk is will get messed up. My wife said I wouldn't have let a gift from my own family be ruined, which isn't true, but obviously I have no evidence of this.AITA because I wasn't more careful with my young child's wardrobe?",AITA for letting a gift from my wife's family be ruined?,NTA
110ug57,"My partner has recently started a new job where he will be working Monday to Friday on shifts. Our daughter has just turned 3 months old. She is our second, our first was stillborn at term just over two years ago and I am still struggling massively and feel as though I’m nothing like my former self. I don’t make an effort with myself and I hardly leave the house, the only time I do I have to talk myself into it for so long and just think it will be good for baby so that’s the reason I’ll go. I’m just lazy and miserable and hating life really and I do feel guilty to my daughter for being this way. (I am still super cheery with her when I have her so hopefully she’s not picking up any bad vibes from me it’s just the not getting outside much) he has a daughter from a previous relationship who is 3. Their current arrangement is tues-thurs one week, and tues-fri the following week alternating. He’s said he’ll try to ask for every other weekend, and the weekends he doesn’t have her, he’ll ask to stick to the current arrangement. this would mean me having to look after her for 9/10 hours a day on those days. I’ve said im not happy to do it and it’s caused a whole load of sh*t. Am I being unreasonable? Should I agree to it? its just not something I want to do, I don’t know if that makes me selfish. I feel like if I was to have that time and energy to do something I’d rather do it for me or my daughter. It feels awful writing it but it’s the truth and how I feelEdit to add: I’ll be returning to my WFH job in the next 3-4 months, so it will not be possible to watch her then anyway.",AITA for not wanting to watch my partners kid?,NTA
110ryvw,"My SIL has been living with us rent free for about half a year now so she can save her money. She found out a few months ago she's going to have a baby and made somewhat of a big deal about no one offering to do a gender reveal party for her when there was a gender reveal party for their other siblings. My wife and her other siblings felt bad about it and went ahead and threw her a gender reveal party at her other sibling's house. It wasn't as planned out as the other gender reveals but we made use of the previous gender reveal's left over decor, made food and played games. Admittedly, this w las a much better party than I could've ever thrown to anyone else and thought she appreciated it.A month or so later, wife and her siblings decided to plan to do a surprise baby shower for her. She wanted to use our house for it this time because our house is a bit bigger so we can invite more of their relatives and more of her friends. My wife knew I'd be against using our house because we always end up doing all the decorations and end up cleaning the mess after. I also told her doing a surprise party for someone else's milestones are never a good idea, but whatever. She said she'll do all the planning and only invite the people closest to her sister. I was okay with that idea and the planning continued.A week or so later, her sister found out we're doing a surprise baby shower for her because she went through her boyfriend's text messages and saw their convos. She then reached out to my wife and told her that she doesn't want us to throw her a baby shower because she wants it a particular way and she doesn't want to be upset if it doesn't turn out the way she envisioned. My wife was shocked by this. I was not.I thought this works out for me as I really didn't want to do all of that work. Until she tells me that she still wants to use our house and use our money for the decoration and the food that her sister chooses. I told her absolutely not because her sisters' ideas of partying includes a lot of alcohol, drama and disrespect to other people's properties and the party would not go far before I tell everyone to gtfo the house.Now she tells her sister this (who is still living with us, btw) and now is upset with me because she has no money to pay for a venue for this event. I suggested using her other sister's house and she complained that she doesn't have the layout that she's envisioned for her party. I said too bad and left it at that as I thought there was no point of arguing with her.My wife agrees with me but she doesn't know if she's being bias since I'm her husband. Her other sibling thinks I'm an asshole because they already did the previous party at their house so it's our ""turn."" And her pregnant sister obviously thinks I'm an asshole because the house isn't technically in my name and I don't pay the mortgage (I pay for the rest of our bills and food, though, but she doesn't realize that all that adds up costing more than the mortgage) so I shouldn't get to decide.So AITA?",AITA for not allowing my SIL to use our house and contribute to her baby shower after she refused to let my wife plan it?,NTA
110jweg,"Everyone involved is mid-late 20's. My sister's boyfriend recently lost his job and they are not going to be able to pay rent next month. My girlfriend, who I have been dating for a few years, heard about this and told her sister that we could help. For some context, I am the primary earner between me and my girlfriend, and I make about 6x what she does. So when she told her sister that we could help she meant that I would be paying all or almost all of their rent. My gf told me about her promise last night and I said that she was out of line for making that kind of promise without consulting me. I told her that I would be willing to gift her sister a fixed amount of money (3 months rent) on the condition that (1) tell her sister that she was wrong to promise her my money and (2) that her sister and boyfriend ask me personally for help. My gf says that this is unreasonable because it would be humiliating for them to ask me for help and because they are ""essentially family"" and should be entitled to my help. She will not budge on this issue and neither will I. AITA?",AITA for not helping my gf's sister's rent?,NTA
110wkse,"To start off, I’m the oldest of five kids: one six-year-old boy, a set of twins that are eight (1 F, 1 B), and a thirteen-year-old brother. I am a soon-to-be eighteen-year-old female, and I found out in the worst way possible that they are wanting another child. My parents and I were talking, and as things got heated, my father yelled out that that’s why I got your mother a pregnancy test.I was so furious that they were doing this behind my back for all the other kids. They told me that they were planning another child, so I knew, but this time they were just going to tell me that they were pregnant. All my childhood I spent taking care of the children, and I am even homeschooled now because of my siblings and my parents. I haven’t even had the chance to make any real friends yet (sad, right?). It feels like they are replacing me because I have plans to move out in a year and a half. This is when we are going to buy property. I have been saving so I could buy my own mini home so when my parents buy the land, I have my own home. That way I could make them feel safe that I was close by, but what’s the point of that now if I’m going to have to help with another child? It feels as if they are pushing me to the side because I’ve gotten too old for them. I don’t know what to do.",AITA for not wanting another sibling?,NTA
110tm9k,"I (13F) live with my dad (43M) and brother (11M). I like my brother but and we used to play together when we were younger but sometimes he is mean to me and says he can't play with a girl.I recently started getting regular periods, I don't mind as I am not in pain like I was warned about and I still feel like I can do anything when I have them.However since I started getting them, my dad no longer allows me to use the PS5 and switch and makes me eat after he and my brother do. My brother is still allowed to use them and happy as he no longer has to share. I hate waiting to eat as sometimes they take a long time to finish. On most days I am the one cooking some of the food and I feel really hungry after that but can only eat after it gets cold since I have to wait for them and do their dishes before I can eat.I asked my dad why he made all these sudden changes now and he said that I am becoming a woman and should be proud about it and that in our culture this is tradition. I looked up many things online about his birth country but it does not seem like most people have this tradition today. I told him that and he got angry with me and said I should only use my computer to search for questions I have for school.",AITA for asking my dad why he lets my younger brother do more things than me,NTA
110ip40,"I (29F) just had my first child (10 months). Before she was born, my husband (30M) and I decided that we didn't want to put her name or face on social media. I have a decent sized following on Instagram, but I knew I didn't want to tell my followers much about her. The internet is a terrifying place and I want her to make her own decisions about how she's presented online. I told all my friends and family that I didn't want her posted. Most people have respected my choices. Except for my sister (32F).My sister has 5 kids and posts them all the time on her public accounts. I told her not to post my daughter at all, and she told me she wouldn't. But one day I was scrolling through my feed, and realized she had posted a photo of her kids holding my daughter. I immediately got angry and told her to take the post down. We got into a fight and she told me she didn't see the big deal. I yelled at her until she took the picture down, but it didn't fix the betrayal I felt. My own sister, disrespecting me like that... I cried for hours. My brother-in-law said I was being a little dramatic about the whole social media thing. My husband said that I'm doing what's right for our family. I don't know who to believe. AITA?",AITA for not putting my kid on social media?,NTA
110kbgn,"Until a year ago I only had one niece. I call her my favorite niece. It's like a joke between us because she is my only niece so naturally she is my favorite. Then my brother remarried and his wife has a daughter who is the same age as my niece. I still call my niece my favorite niece because I'm just used to saying it and seriously I don't feel like this new girl is my niece yet. I barely know her.My SIL called me an asshole a few days ago because apparently I'm hurting her daughter's feelings by saying that. I think she is being overdramatic, her daughter is 14 that's old enough to understand these things I shouldn't have to change my relationship with my niece because of SIL and her daughter",AITA for calling her my favorite niece?,NTA
110lxgv,"I [f19] have an older brother [m28]. He has a wife Kate [f27].When Kate and my brother first got together 5 years ago, Kate always tried to make an effort to spend time with me. She's an only child and keeps saying about how she's always wanted a sister.I like Kate and I think she's lovely but recently I've found being around her very emotionally exhausting and I'm going to give reasons why.Firstly, I'm a student studying to be a pediatric nurse. I'm still in my first year.Kate and my brother had their first baby who's now 7 months old.Kate keeps asking me medical questions about the baby (he was born prematurely), which is fine but many of the questions I don't feel comfortable answering with certainty so I keep telling Kate to ask her pediatrician at their next visit. We live in the UK so medical care costs aren't an issue.Kate seems to understand my point of view but then keeps coming to me with complicated questions again and again.Secondly, I used to visit my brother and Kate's home frequently to chat and socialise but now whenever I visit, Kate insists I do housework, as she's a SAHM and struggles to keep up with chores whilst taking care of the baby. I don't mind lending a helping hand but whenever I visit it feels like Kate is only interested in having me do chores.Lastly, whenever I visit, Kate complains about my mother and insults her. She complains that my mum never offers to babysit or help out with housework even though she lives down the street, and says that my mum works too much and should prioritise her grandbaby, and that she needs a village not an ""absent grandparent"". I know my mum adores my nephew, but she's a very busy woman and has bills to pay. This is my biggest issue out of everything and what makes me the most uncomfortable as I don't think my mother deserves to be talked about like that. I know I'm biased because she's my mum but still.For all these reasons, Kate has been making me really uncomfortable. I understand that she's a new mother and likely overwhelmed but this has been going on ever since the baby was born. I've tried to talk to Kate about these things but she doesn't really listen and accuses me of not supporting her or trying to destroy her self-esteem..I talked to my brother about it and he said that Kate isn't doing too well mentally and is seeing a therapist and says I should just ""smile and nod"". It sounds bad but I just don't really want to hear it. I've been avoiding Kate and now she's upset with me and ignores my texts, and has been making passive aggressive Instagram posts about me. My brother said I need to apologise to Kate and start visiting more often again but I don't think I'm the one who needs to apologise. AITA?",AITA for avoiding my SIL and refusing to apologise to her?,NTA
110yaa1,"I'm a regular at this store and I'll usually pick up snacks anytime after 11pm. The staff know me and the security know me, the cashier guy likes me whenever we interact he's always smiling and asking questions.A neckwarmer I wear over my nose, a beanie that goes over my forehead so you can only see my eyes, black cargos, black sweater, jordan 3s and I havent had a haircut I wear my nike tech hoodie unzipped and throw the hoodie over my hat so it doesnt look oddly shaped. I'm also 6'2 and black so I can understand how people can find it intimidating and ill occasionally pull it down if I walk past women or people with kids just so they completely know im not a threat but most of the time I dont care, Im not going to hurt or steal, this is just how I dress its anti social but its comfortable and works for me. I'm not going to dress to fit in or to make myself seem ""less threatening"", I dont think I should change how I dress just because I happened to be born into a stereotype where people that look like me do bad spooky things.I get to the store and I walk in, neckwarmer up, security obviously recognizes me and he's watched the cameras everytime I go in, I usually buy the same thing everytime. A guy walks up to me and taps me on hand and says ""dont wear the mask respect the store"". I said ""dont touch me"" then I took my headphones off and he said it again, he also said he was the co owner which he wasnt. I said no im not taking my mask off -> not to be a dick the store is empty, all the staff know me it'd be pointless taking my mask off and im quick im not tryna spend 2 minutes shopping at night. <- Security comes and puls this guy away because he knows me and can tell the guy starting what I see as unnecessary problems. He knows I dont steal and there's no problem. After saying no the guy was basically talking shit and non sense he's really annoying me so I talk about his fake watch. I dont think he was actively trying to provoke me but this weird idea that taking my neckwarmer down will somehow change anything is stupid, ""but cameras"" no one is wasting time looking for a thief that steals £10 worth of chocolate. I have no reason to steal to make that clear to redditors I know yall selectively read which is why your perspectives will be.. interesting.The fact he touched me and then told me to do something that isnt required by law, by the store, there's 0 sign of anyone stealing and the store is basically empty annoyed me as I usually just walk in, no one causes problems and im out. Feel threatened tells security ""watch the tall black guy with the mask on"", I dont care just dont touch or talk to me lmao. Some people dress ""anti social"" and you can be cautious that's understandable but it doesn't matter. The banker wearing a suit will steal your pension while smiling in your face and you'll smile back but you're worried about a guy tryna buy some chocolate with a neckwarmer. Too comfortable im keeping it",AITA Man Tells Me To Take My Neckwarmer Down,NTA
110h11p,"My husband and I own a small flat at a nice location public transport wise. It's about 50 sq meters or 540 sq feet. It's a nice size for us as we don't have children yet.I have a little brother, Mark. He is looking to buy a flat for himself, but struggles to find one he likes. So he wants to buy ours and my mom is on his side. They are saying I'm too old to live in such a small flat with my husband, we can afford to buy a bigger one (true) and we will need to upgrade in a few years anyway (also true).Mark would also be able to save a lot of money in fees too if he bought from me, because since we are siblings, I could officially gift him the flat and he could gift me the money. They are making a lot of other points too, like that families need to help each other out.One other thing is that my mom helped us out with the down payment back when we bought this flat. She contributed about 35% of the full price. So maybe I owe them this? Would I be the asshole if I didn't buy a bigger flat for myself?",WIBTA if I didn't buy a bigger flat for myself so my little brother can buy my current one?,NTA
110q4a5,"I am 26M and I am currently a PhD student at a Canadian university. Yesterday, I was staying on-campus late into the night, trying to get some important work done. It was half-past midnight, and just to relax a little bit, I went outside for a smoke. Admittedly, I was smoking right next to the doors of the building, which is against campus rules. But my brain was so fried that I honestly didn’t notice. I closed my eyes and exhaled deeply, and when I opened my eyes again, I saw that I was exhaling right into some poor bloke’s face. I got really flustered and apologized to him, and he replied “I have a respiratory condition you dumbfuck”. I got kinda pissed off at his insult (I was already pretty tense from a night of hard, tedious work), so I told him to piss off. Things got heated between us, and we kept escalating until we caught the attention of campus security (they were just doing some routine patrols). They helped calm us down, and while I wasn’t fined or disciplined for smoking in a non-smoking zone, the security people told me to be more careful from now on.AITA?",AITA for accidentally blowing smoke into someone's face?,YTA
110wobf,"I (33F) am moving out of the apartment I've shared with my friend (32M) for about 3 1/2 yrs. There has never been any sort of romantic or sexual connection between us. Ever.Quick context: He is an emotionally stunted, codependent mess with a victim complex and only just recently started therapy for some pretty heavy trauma he's been carrying around since his childhood. Related context: He is a seemingly nice guy and will always help when asked and he's quick to offer help and other things when he sees an opportunity, and never without a ""No problem, don't worry about it."" But then, when HE needs a favor or something that I'm not real feeling up to, he immediately reminds me of all the nice things he's done for me. He's guilt tripped me several times and it's lead me to decline any and every offer he's tried to make in the past couple years because I know what he'll eventually do when he wants something.EDIT to add: I accepted these offers because I was unaware of what he was doing at the time. It was only through that process that I learned that he was using his favors as a sort of currency. I WOULD return those favors when he reminded me of ""all the nice things"" he's done for me, but once I realized what he was doing, I stopped accepting anything further.So now I've finally found my own place and I'm moving this weekend. Whenever I mention anything about moving things up to my new house, he offers to help. I politely decline, he presses, I keep declining, and he usually ends with a ""Well it's an open offer so just let me know."" I have not let him help me with any of it so far because I really, really do not want to help him (and I know he'll try to rope me into it anyway). I've been holding his hand for so long and I'm exhausted. I believe he needs to find his own help that isn't his convenient roommate with a vehicle (he doesn't have a car). I feel like I'm just exercising my boundaries but I still feel like a bit of a shithead for it. Am I The Asshole here?",AITA for not letting my roommate help me move because *I* don't want to help HIM move?,NTA
110qpq5,"So basically I am related to a dictator. I won’t name which one but he is my great uncle. I also share his last name, which isn’t bad because it’s a somewhat common last name where I am from. So it’s not like people hear my name and react like my last name is Hitler or something. Sometimes I will get a “oh (last name) haha, any relation?”.This is a dictator in living history, like my parents generation were affected by it (and the kids of my parents generation, ie my age group). I’m 18 for context. Some people might just find it funny but others would find it genuinely offensive and upsetting, sadly other people think he is super cool and awesome . It’s a very touchy and contentious subject in the community I live. I would not tell random people about this.My friend does however do this. I don’t think he totally understands because he isn’t from the same country as me and probably isn’t as familiar with this dictator or why people of our nationality find him so contentious. My friend will in mid conversation suddenly announce did you know she’s related to (dictator)? and they always turn to me for confirmation. A lot of the time they find it funny so I let it slide but a week ago my friend told one of our teachers, who turned to us and told us that my great uncle put his family members in labor camps. Very awkward. I apologized and said I was sorry and left which felt weird because I don’t really bear any responsibility for the guy. I told my friend to please stop and explained the like. Ethnic tension involved in the subject he may not understand. He seemed to agree so I let it go.The other day I was talking to his friend who is a recent immigrant and he told her and she looked really weirded out and uncomfortable. I told her I don’t like him either and never met the man. After she left I turned to my friend and asked what the hell his problem is and why he finds it so goddamn funny. He seemed to think I was overreacting and I said this is like if you went up to jews and said oh btw this person is related to hitler! like it’s a funny joke when that’s really insensitive. Both me and my friend have a kind of... i wouldn’t describe it as offensive or dark sense of humor but something along those lines, so my friend was pretty surprised I was telling him to stop being insensitive (Even though I literally did that last week!!!) We were hanging outside and I think he was embarrassed other people were there because he refused to apologize and even told someone walking by “She’s related to (dictator)!” all smugly. I told him I was tired of his shit and left and felt bad because he looked hurt but I pretended not to see. I feel kind of bad now because talking to another friend i realized my friend has always had a crass sense of humor and i’ve never told him anything bad about it so this probably came from nowhere and made me seem really sensitive. Idk i’m kind of stubborn so I worry I should be saying sorry here but won’t see it. Was I TA?",AITA for yelling at my friend to stop telling people i’m related to a dictator?,NTA
110yygf,"Throwaway, we're all 24-28. I'm posting because I've got people telling me I was genuinely in the wrong hereSo last week me, my friends 'Alice' and 'Tara', as well as Tara's cousin 'Kate' were meant to go clubbing together. Tara was sick on the day so she couldn't make it, and the 3 of us went. I don't know Kate very well- I've seen her sometimes at Tara's place but that's about it, because she's plain, usually kind of quiet and shy (honestly didn't think clubbing was her thing).I heard Kate got married but I had no idea what her husband looked like. Neither did Alice.After a bit Kate got pretty drunk. She actually didn't have that many drinks but I guess her alcohol tolerance is low. She was having a hard time even standing upright and incoherent, so me and Alice took her to sit down. I thought we could call someone from Kate's phone but it was obviously locked, so Alice called Tara and told her the situation. She said she couldn't come, but she'd text Kate's husband 'Alex'.Now the thing is, we were talking pretty loudly to hear over the music, so anyone around could've heard the info that the drunk girl's name was Kate and her husband's Alex.After a bit a pretty polished, good-looking guy comes up saying he's Alex, Kate's husband. I had a bit of a hard time believing that so I asked if he had any proof? He eventually showed his lock screen, which was a picture of Kate from their wedding, but by herself and he wasn't in it. Alice went to stay that's okay and he can take Kate, but I said I would rather see a photo of them together. He got pissed and eventually managed to show a photo, and after I called Tara to confirm, he and Kate left.I didn't think much of it, but the next day Kate texted (kind of passive aggressive) saying thanks for helping her, but ""why the hell I made such a big deal in front of everyone"".Tara and Alice are also saying I went overboard but I don't think so.AITA?",AITA for asking a guy for proof when he came to pick up someone at a club?,YTA
110z14k,"My closest friend is getting married in Taormina (Sicily) this August, less than 1 year's notice for the wedding and I was asked to be a bridesmaid. I am starting to feel unappreciated. They are very well off, she doesn't work currently. *I and a few other bridesmaids are coming from Canada and guests from all around the world. (My friend is Canadian but currently living in London, where she met her fiance) 200 people have been invited, my little sister was uninvited because they had to cut down on the guest list. Her fiance will not let her invite the standard 10-15% more than they have room for.*They chose a 5 Star hotel for the venue. I believed they would be taking care of lodging for the bridal party because of the extravagance and location. They said the hotel wanted to charge them extra to book the whole space so we were instructed to book/pay for our own rooms ourselves from Thursday-Monday. I found out there will be a Shabbat dinner the Friday eve but the bridal party is NOT invited because there is not enough space. The chef will only cater to **50** people...I brought up that this felt rude and unappreciative to the bride, and she understood and said her fiance did not think it was important for us to attend. She discussed this with him again and his response was ""don't they know how expensive these dinners are? We're already providing a rehearsal dinner""The bride later said her fiance and his family (he is Britsh/Swedish/German) don't do Rehearsal dinners. It is not a part of European culture. Even if it is not a part of his culture, it is *HERS.* Also, this is a destination wedding where guests have to fly in early, would you not provide a dinner for them?She then posted that hair and makeup are available for $200 but not provided for, she is requesting we wear all gold jewelry/shoes. She does not have an itinerary or any other events planned for the bridal party during the 5-day  **This wedding will cost between $5,000-8,000 CAD along with 1 week of time off work unpaid.**She does not think she should have to provide anything for the bridal party except the wedding day and that the rehearsal dinner is a gift. The bride and groom do not feel it necessary to make the bridal party/guests feel appreciated and give back. They are also going on a $50 000 safari for part of their honeymoon.I have been heavily involved in the wedding planning and planned out the whole Bachelorette (her sister is the MOH but avoiding duties). I have no problem with this until she expressed that one of her friends said that the bachelorette location is dirty and untasteful. She relayed this to me after I had already planned out the trip. I told her this made me feel unappreciated but at the end of the day it is her wedding and she should do what makes her happy. She did apologize and recognize how that had come across.**AITA?**  (My friends and family are telling me not to go)",AITA My Friend Expects Us to Subsidize her 500K Destination Wedding in Sicily,NTA
110chns,"I 21(M) have an acquaintance 21(F) who I go to school with, we have a couple of courses together and are doing group work for some of them and are also in a student club together so we see each other often on campus. We know each other for about a year now.We were working late together on campus on a robot for our student club and when it was time to go home around midnight she asked me to walk her to her car which was parked a 7 minute walk away.I was not comfortable and refused, because I get uncomfortable on those streets at night as there are people who seem to be on drugs who just shout things and talk to themselves. I've never had anyone attack me but it makes me uncomfortable. Additionally she is a young woman and I'm not her boyfriend, I don't know if she has one but if she did, he would probably not approve of it and if could get mad at me. I have had boyfriends of girls I know do this before.The next day she told me she was a little disappointed as she had volunteered to walk with me between two campus buildings and back late at night on a different occarion when I had to fetch something from the other building. She also said that I could have dropped her to the parking and taken a different route to my dorm from there and not have to pass through the sketchy street alone, which is true or I could have taken her offer to drive me home.AITA here? I feel like her volunteering to walk with me is not the same as it was not as bad of a route and I never asked her to do so even if I did take up her offer. And while it's true I could have avoided them after dropping her, I'd still be a little uncomfortable if I encountered weirdos while with her. I don't want this to turn into a big issue as we work well together and I'm hoping to keep doing group projects with her in other classes.EDIT: I'd like to mention that I did tell her the next day that I understood and would help next time, when she told me about it. But I'm just wondering if I was wrong for that day when she asked.EDIT2: I've apologized to her profoundly and said I was being an ass. I'm not an idiot and I know it can be dangerous for women, I would have done it for a friend or my sister but I was being an ass and not considering her to be a friend and more like a stranger I tend to meet often which was clearly wrong of me.",AITA for not walking a school acquaintance to her car at night.,YTA
110govr,"My husband (35m) wants to bring his sister (52f) from a third world country to stay for an undisclosed amount of time and is insisting that because he is organising the visa that she needs to stay with us. Not only do I (30f) have 2 young children, one under a year old, but I've also only been out of the hospital for 2 weeks after a 3 week stay for mental health reasons. My husband has 3 brothers in the same city, 2 of whom do not speak English, and it always falls on me to take care of everything for them like paperwork, registering their children in schools, etc. and this situation with his sister will be no different since she also speaks zero English and doesn't know anyone here besides his/her family.Not only that, but when my son was born, he stayed in hospital for 2 weeks and we didn't know if he'd have brain damage but this sister in law never said congratulations on his birth and then stopped speaking to me for 6 months because I didn't name MY son after HER father. Yes, I'm still salty about it.I've said that after all I've been through recently with my health and all the responsibility I already have, having her stay is too much. He has said she's staying and that's the end, and I've said if she does I'll leave my own home. He has his other brothers she can stay with, so I don't know why this is on me yet again. Am I in the wrong here?",AITA for not wanting my sister in law to stay at my home,NTA
110v8ae,"I (28f) have been with my bf (32m) for close to 5 years now. During our time together, we have discussed going to visit Japan as it is both of our dream trips. We agreed to both save our own money to be able to go. The problem is he isn't good at saving, and I am, so he's convinced me to keep putting it off and putting it off until he has money to go as well, and I agreed. I was set to go in May of this year, but now he wants to do late fall, so I again agreed. I told him as long as he is able to pay his own plane ticket and food, I will do all the accommodation for both of us. I even got a travel credit card that I racked up enough points to use on and told him I'll give it to him so he only has to pay 200-300 for his ticket instead of $1000 or more. It's been 5 years and I'm tired of waiting and putting off my dream trip. I feel I've done all I can to help other then just buying the whole trip for him at this point. If he isn't ready by this fall I think I might just go without him. Would I be the asshole if I were to go by myself when i know how much he wants to go?To be clear I don't make that much money as it is and can't quite afford to pay for everything if I pay for his whole trip as well as mine.",WIBTA for going on bf's dream vacation without him?,NTA
110y29n,"Im (42f) a single mum of 4. I have full custody of my kids, but they recently stay more at their dad's place because their school is closer to his place. Due to this, they spend the weekends and any holidays with me, and that's when I wash/ do their hair. My 2nd daughter (17f) has much curlier than her sisters, so hers has to be in protective styles most of the time because she can't do her hair on her own although I've tried my best teaching her how to.The past few weeks, she has been very disrespectful not only towards me but also to her younger siblings too. She threw paper arts of her little sister, called her younger brother names and just being very problematic, and she doesn't watch to talk about it I've been telling her to wash her hair for a week but she kept ignoring while being on her phone and I did tell her I wasn't going to braid her hair on Sunday since I was going to be busy. She didn't listen anyway and washed her hair on Sunday afternoon not even morning, expecting I was going to braid her hair anyways like I always did, but I refused because I've been telling her to wash her hair the entire week and she chose not to listen so this was a punishment, she started crying calling me a selfish mom and I kinda felt bad but it was 9pm and their dad was gonna pick them up in minutes so I suggested to do just the fronts but he came right after that. I braided 2 fronts for her, but she was not happy at all and said i punish her unfairly when I still suggested doing her hair anyway. Was my punishment unfair and AITA?",AITA for not doing my daughter's hair for school as a punishment?,NTA
110k5en,"I (22f) have schizophrenia and so I decided not to drink alcohol until I was 21. It’s a pretty high addiction risk statistically. I never went to a party. I got my first boyfriend when I was 21 because I had to work through some unhealthy attitudes about sexuality that I had from early childhood events. I also couldn’t afford birth control back then and it’s not 100% effective anyway. My family claims that I “wasn’t a normal teenager” because of this. Recently our family friend (also 22f) recently got married and had a baby (1m), and has one (5f) from a previous relationship. My parents said that I’m “just a kid” compared to her because she is married with two kids and I’m still single. I said that being single doesn’t equal immaturity. They made comments like this in the car on the way to her son’s birthday party. I asked them if they were going to comment on how she doesn’t have her degree when we celebrate my graduation next year. They said that that was an offensive comment. I said why, it’s “just stating a fact” when it’s directed at me. They said “that’s different” and “you’ll understand when you’re older.” We both moved out at 21 and I temporarily moved back at 22 after developing schizophrenia. Her parents send her money constantly to help with bills and in fact she gets more financial support than me. I was given 6k in tuition assistance from my family over my entire adult life and she was probably given at least 20k, plus free babysitting. Nothing wrong with that but if accepting help doesn’t make her less of an adult, it doesn’t make me less of an adult either. Whenever I point out that she’s not fully supporting herself and her family either, I get accused of “shaming her” but apparently it’s “just stating a fact” that I don’t fully support myself.We’re both adults. She chose marriage and family, I chose to focus on my career. And yes she has more responsibilities than me but voluntarily deciding not to take on responsibilities you don’t want doesn’t make someone less adult.",AITA for accusing my family of favoritism and for infantilizing me because I’m disabled?,NTA
110ncpr,"Hello,I (29m) don't use my full name. Let's say I am ""Tim"". Even as a kid when I was in trouble my mom would call me ""tim"", I was almost never ""timothy"". As I have described it to everyone, calling my ""Timothy"" is like shouting out my social security number. Sure it technically applies to me, but it's more a government identifier than an actual name to me. My fiance ""Terra""(27) would call me ""Timothy"" anyways. I would respond as I do to anyone else who calls me that and call her ""terrathy"" (I've called my sister ""tiffanyothy"", it's the universal you add stuff to my name I'll do the same) she later let it slip she was calling me that on purpose. She knew i hated it but thought it was cute and liked being terrathy. So instead I started responding with government identifiers. She'd call me Timothy and I'd respond back with her date of birth or drivers license number. (Never in public) She sometimes is non reactive. Other times mildly annoyed, other times very upset and states she never should have told me it was on purpose. I've explained I hate ""Timothy"" multiple times but she keeps doing it, then getting upset that I don't respond the way she wants. She lectures me on not respecting her boundaries, but I feel like I'm the one not having their boundaries respected. Especially as instead of calling me by my name, she just laments being honest with me. As I protest she says ""Timothy is your name"". She used to say ""its on your drivers license, so its what i call you"" hence my use of numbers. Am I the one in the wrong here?",AITA for using government identifiers?,NTA
110jdxj,"My wife (39F) and I (49M) decided to replace our 20 year old fridge with a bigger one that was pricey at $1600. We have two young children so we needed the larger fridge. Once it was delivered we were happy with the stainless steel look and more space, our children were excited for it too!! Fast forward a two days later after its delivery I noticed a 2 inch crack at the bottom of the fridge liner, look liked someone stepped on it and you can see some of the foam insulation underneath.  I got super angry because it was just not a new & pricey appliance but that no one in my house told me about it. I initially thought it was one of my children that caused the crack by standing on the liner to reach for something inside. That could have been more forgivable because children make mistakes however...  When I showed the crack in the fridge liner to my wife she said she did it and I was like... HOW?!?!! She told me she placed her knee on the liner while reaching in to remove excess packing tape inside and said it was an accident. I was super pissed because it was brand new and the crack will always be there even after we hope to patch it with cooler tape soon. My wife and I have a history of not be able to have nice things in the house. From her cats destroying an expensive $2000 leather couch and not doing anything to repair or clean it that was eventually thrown out to not keeping her new car clean. My wife apologized and feels terrible about it but still it doesn't make me feel better that we can't keep something new in good shape for a week!  It's a day later and I'm still angry but tried to tell her its 'just a fridge' and our marriage & family is more important but that I'm not going to buy another nice thing again.   So AITA for being upset that something nice & expensive gets damaged by a careless accident?",AITA for being VERY upset a family member damaged new expensive fridge?,YTA
110p9ep,"I met my friend at the bar yesterday to get a beer and catch up because I haven’t seen in her months. Shortly after we got our drinks a  unknown man approached us. He said “hey ladies I hate to do this to you but I’ll have to kick you both out because I’m having my birthday party here and the party is starting now”  I looked around the bar and I seen a few other women there. I asked the man “why do we have to get out but the other women can stay?”  He said those women are his family and they came for the party. Since my friend and I are not family or friends of his then we have to get out of the bar. My friend asked him if he is the owner or the manager. He said he isn’t either one but he didn’t want strangers being at the bar during his birthday party. My friend left, but I chose to stay and finish my beer since I paid for it. I also ordered another beer before leaving. That man called me an asshole for not leaving after he asked me nicely. I didn’t care though.",AITA for not leaving the bar?,NTA
110h0d0," I am a mom of 3 and have 5 siblings. Every year, my husband, I and my siblings, and their spouses go on vacation together in late January-early February, this year was no different, we also go on vacation in July when the kids are on summer break. One of my siblings, my sister, Anna, has 2 boys, ages thirteen and ten.I love my sister and her family, but her ten-year-old, Dylan, has massive behavioral problems, including being a compulsive liar. I am friends with Dylan’s teacher, as we teach in the same school and teach the same grade. I have seen Dylan’s behavior at school and it truly is atrocious and can attest to everything his teacher says about his behavior. My sister however thinks his teacher is “naive” and “probably easily manipulated” and uses me talking about teacher burnout to justify that stance. Some of Dylan’s behaviors have included stealing gifts from his older brother that one of his friends gave him to “prove” they traveled to the Philippines, lying about how many siblings he had, and is the poster boy of the kid who says stuff like “my dad works at Apple and I have an iPhone 15”. Dylan also has an incredibly cruel streak and recently got in trouble for being mean to a boy for painting his nails. When his teacher found out about this, she questioned him and he gave a story that was provably false due to the details he gave of where people were at the time (I can verify that his story is impossible). My sister is in denial that her son is homophobic because he hasn’t been mean to one of our nephews (15), who is gay. Her and her husband genuinely seem to believe that since he doesn’t make any homophobic comments at home, his teacher must be “falling for other kid’s propaganda”.A few days ago, after we got back from the trip, my sister posted about it in a local mom’s Facebook group, she went on about how the vacation was nice, but also how Dylan needed it so badly because he’s “misunderstood” at school and went on about how the education system is “toxic” and how kids these days “always lie to teachers” and how Dylan is a victim of  other kid’s entitlement. When I saw the post, I immediately called my sister and asked her to take it down, she refused just saying she was “giving her two cents on life” and suggested I was being “manipulated” by other kids to. I told her if she didn’t take the post down, that I would not go on another family vacation and I would limit the amount of family events I went to. My sister was very upset by this and went to other family members to share, they’re trying to help us “work it out” and some have suggested that I’m in the wrong and shouldn’t be “policing my sister’s views”, but others are taking a more firm stance against her. I don’t know how to feel, I love my sister but I also know she holds false beliefs about her son’s teacher, she seems to genuinely think he isn’t lying, because “he knows it’s safe to tell us the truth”. AITA?",AITA for giving my sister an ultimatum?,NTA
110w8c6,Me (15 f) and my step mom (40 f) got in to a argument the other day I was getting worked up. So i went into another room and started rocking my self back and forth to calm myself down. She came after and kept yelling then all of a sudden said “if you really were autistic which you are not since I work with kids that are autistic then why didn’t you show signs when you were younger. I was having a hard time trying to calm myself cause I’m sensitive loud noises. I replied “Autism can often be missed diagnosed as ADHD which I was and symptoms can often show more when puberty starts” she started yelling I was faking it for attention and other stuff so I yelled “can you please stop yelling at me” I been getting at lot of backlash from yelling and I feel really bad so Aita?(Step mom works with special need kids),AITA for yelling at my step mom after she said I don’t have autism,NTA
110na5p,"I (M22) Have been seeing my partner (M25) for almost a year. I've been reluctant to tell my family about my relationship because of my moms religion. For context, I was raised LDS (Mormon) until I was 18 where I ended up leaving and coming out to my family as gay. I got a pretty neutral reaction of ""I'll always love you"" etc but still receive judgement for things such as drinking, getting a tattoo, or other small acts that go against the religious doctrines. Anyway, yesterday my mom showed up at my apartment (an hour away from her place) and started yelling at me that I've been lying to her and how untrustworthy I am now. I told her that I never wanted to lie to her I just felt uncomfortable telling her about my relationship with a man because of her religious beliefs. She started making comments about how i'm using her religion against her and just because the religion spews hate doesn't mean she is. I tried to explain that the principle of her still giving them money is still hard for me to swallow knowing the stuff they say about me being gay. She ended up saying some stuff that rubbed me the wrong way such as; ""You don't get to use my religion against you when I don't use you going to hell against you"" which I feel like validated my feelings that there are unspoken feelings about how she feels about my sexuality. I ended up just ending the conversation and sending her away. For some more context, my mom was in a super toxic marriage where she was getting cheated on for 20+ years without ever knowing. So I understand where some of the insecurity with people lying to her comes from but I still can't shake the feeling of the religious hatred still being tied to her. There was a lot more said back and forth about me lying and me saying it was due to religion I just simply didn't feel comfortable telling her about it. AITA for kicking my mom out of my apartment and using religion as an excuse for not telling her about my relationship.",AITA for not telling my mom about my relationship?,NTA
1110f5a,"My (M25) girlfriend’s (F24) new hobby is interrogating me about the most bizarre hypothetical situations before we go to sleep. I usually try to refuse but she keeps whining and bugging (poking, prodding, hitting) me until I answer. If my answer doesn’t satisfy her/is not romantic enough/is a joke she will be upset and cold with me for the next day.Last night, she asked me if we were hypothetically stranded on an island and she was roasted in a forest fire and was the only edible thing left on the island, what body part of her would I consume first to survive. I told her I wouldn’t eat her because that’s disgusting, but she kept whining and telling me to “just answer the question.”I finally lost it and told her that I was not going to answer and that she could have fun entertaining these hypothetical scenarios in her head while she sleeps tonight, because I wouldn’t be around to talk to her. I left to go sleep on the couch.She hasn’t talked to me all of today and even started crying when I tried to initiate a conversation. Now I feel pretty bad and maybe I was being too petty by insisting on not answering her. AITA?",AITA for refusing to tell my girlfriend what body part of her I would eat?,NTA
110td60,"My husband and I have been together 20 years, and he has a daughter who recently turned 18 years old with someone else (that's a whole other story) and we have 3 kids together.  He's always paid voluntary child support for his daughter and gone above and beyond when asked for anything. He simply never told her or his BM no (no court order needed).  For her 18th birthday and as an early graduation present he bought her a car. I asked how her grades were and if she had a license since he was buying it months before graduation. He said fine, and yes. Anyway, when he met up with his daughter and BM to buy her car, she informs him she doesn't have a license. So instead, he paid cash for a car and put it in his BM name. After they have the car, he asks to see the report card and finds out a few hours later that his daughter dropped out in 11th grade and had been lying. I told him that he should stop sending her money, as it should only continue while she's in school since she's grown and chose to drop out. Every text he receives now is for money. We are not rich at all, but she asks for $50-100, at least 4 times a week for nails, hair, vacation, movies, gas, etc and I just found out he's sending it each time she asks, even though he told me it would only be for emergencies.  I understand supporting your child while they're in school and working towards something, but that's not the case. AITA???",AITA for telling my husband to stop giving his daughter money?,NTA
110iyv2,"My (25F) parents (55M and and 55F) started going through the divorce process several months ago. They weren't getting along for many years, but my mom presented my dad with divorce papers last year and they are still battling some things out. However, my mom began a relationship with someone else very soon (like within a span of 2-3 weeks) after giving the divorce papers, which may mean she was having an affair and seeing this guy well before separating from my dad. My siblings and I have confronted her about it, and she denies having an affair, but the timeline seems really fast and it seems strange that she would already have a boyfriend pretty much instantaneously after an almost 30 year marriage. I genuinely do not know the truth but my dad has been pretty depressed due to this for the better part of last year. He has lost 30 pounds due to not eating and is now at an unhealthy weight, and honestly whenever I talk to him he doesn't seem like the same person. He has been going to a lot of therapy recently and I do notice him getting a little better, but I'm very worried about him because I know he is suffering from depression. I call him about 2x a month to check in on him.The last time I called my dad, he mentioned that this February is going to be very hard for him, since it's his first Valentine's Day without my mom, and she's already going to be spending Valentine's with someone else. After we talked, I felt really bad for him and decided to order him flowers to be shipped to him on Valentine's Day. I chose a local flower shop that's close to where he lives, and picked out a classy looking bouquet with blue and white flowers and added a card that just basically said that his family loves him and that I hope he has a good Valentine's Day. I hope that these brighten his day because I know it's been rough for him.I told my boyfriend (26M) about this yesterday, and showed him a picture of the bouquet I ordered for my dad. However, my boyfriend seemed upset. When I asked him what was wrong, he basically told me that he felt uncomfortable that I was getting another man flowers on Valentine's Day. But like, this ""other man"" is my DAD. I'm really confused by this because I don't think Valentine's Day necessarily just has to be for romantic love, I also usually do a ""Galentine's Day"" with friends a couple days before, and in grade school it used to be pretty common to give out candy and cards to friends. I told my boyfriend this and he says that it's still a weird thing to do, and that my dad probably would be weirded out by the flowers too. Plus, my bf knows that we have dinner plans at a romantic restaurant for Valentine's, and I plan to also get him red roses, so it's not like I'm putting my dad over him or anything, just sending flowers to know I'm thinking of him. Is this weird? AITA?",AITA for ordering flowers for my dad for Valentine's Day?,NTA
110saw4,"This situation is between me (31 M) and my sis (Jan, fake name. 35 F). In my opinion, Jan is a burnout narcissist. Never held a job down for more than a year, dropped out of college three times, and is a single mom to 3 kids. She is a leech. My parents and grandma pay for her 3 bedroom apartment because none of them want her to live with them. She does not pay a single one of her bills either, and ubers around in a car that, again, she does not pay for to make pocket money.My grandma owns a really nice 6-bedroom house. My grandpa built it himself nearly 30 years ago and made sure it was modernized before he died 2 years ago. Originally, he wanted my uncle and mom to either sell it or for one of the grandkids to take it. Right before he died, Jan had her 3rd kid. Seeing as the only other grandkid besides me has their own house and I'm well off enough to afford my own roof, They decided once grandma dies Jan will get the house.I never liked this arrangement, as I knew Jan will just trash the house once she got it. However, I've kept the peace. It's been incredibly hard though because Jan has made it incredibly clear she is counting down the days till grandma dies and she can move out of her apartment into a house. At one point she literally tried to talk my parents into putting grandma into assisted living, despite grandma still being able to walk 4 miles each morning for the last decade.So, last week grandma's house had a fire incident. Nothing major, Grandma only suffers minor injuries and the repairs to the house are fairly straightforward. Grandma still ended up in the emergency room for smoke inhalation though. Me, my uncle, my mom ll rushed to the hospital to make sure she was ok. Jan came later as well, but the first thing she asked was if the house was ok. She did not even talk to grandma till after mom told her about the state of the house. This pissed me off, so I decided to just ask her if she is really that self-centered and that she was more worried about the house than grandma. This ended in us fighting and my mom escorting Jan out. My uncle and grandma were both livid at this as well. I told grandma that if there was any justice in the world, Jan would not get that house and my uncle agreed with me. We dropped it once my mom returned, but Jan had left without even asking grandma how she was doing.I did not think this would lead to anything. However, my parents are livid right now because Grandma has told my uncle and mom she is planning to go over her will and is reconsidering leaving the house to Jan. She said she will either leave it in a trust for me and my uncle's kid or sell it and split the money fairly between everyone. My parents and Jan are livid and saying I used the moment to steal the house. My uncle and his family think the new arrangement is good.","AITA for blowing up at my sister while grandma was in the hospital, and getting grandma to reconsider her will?",NTA
110y1rc,"So this happened a few months ago so you’ll have to bear with me.Two days before I had my son, my husband and I had to go grocery shopping so we stopped at Walmart. Now with me coming to the end of my pregnancy I had put on quite a bit of weight and my baby was sitting on my spine; due to that I couldn’t walk very far or long without being in a world of pain for the rest of the day and possibly the next. When my husband dropped me off at the door so I wouldn’t have to walk through the parking lot I went and got a scooter, right behind me came a fairly large older man who told me to get off of it after I had just sat down and got situated. I told him I couldn’t and that I’m 39 weeks pregnant and can’t walk for longer than a few minutes without pain. He stood there arguing with me and insulting me, calling me a “whore” and saying my baby would never be raised right with a teen mom(I’m not a teen), all over the scooter for a minute or so which got the attention of an employee who then told him that there were more at the other entrance. This is where my husband comes in and at this point I’m crying mostly because of hormones but also because I don’t do good with confrontation, my husband finally told him to fuck off in less or more words and consoled me.   A woman who I’m guessing was his wife was staring me down the whole time and glaring. When we finished off our shopping and went to check out the same man ended up behind me and was saying the same things about me under his breath. And when I took “too long” to move forward when it was our turn to pay he rammed into the back of my scooter throwing me forward which seriously hurt my back.   Luckily my baby is fine now but was I the asshole? I’m seriously doubting myself here.",AITA for using an electric scooter in Walmart?,NTA
110w9in,"I, <34> female, have a very complicated relationship with my nephew's father, 34 male. A little background, he was with my sister for many years, on again off again before my sister got pregnant with my nephew.   My nephew's dad, lets call him Jay, didnt want my sister to keep the baby and insisted she abort him.  After much deliberation, my sister went ahead and kept her baby. This is where things start to get messy.  My mother started to date and later got engaged to Jay's father, making Jay not only my sister's baby daddy, but also my step brother.  Honestly the whole lot if them needed to be on jerry springer imo.  At this point Jay is telling my sister that the baby isnt his and refused to sign the birth certificate. The baby took my sisters last name, and even after all the paternaty tests came back conclusive that he was the father, Jay did not sign the birth certificate. Pan foward to march 7th 2022.My sister passed away suddenly.  All this time my sister and nephew were living with my mum and stepdad <Jay's dad>.  My nephew is special needs non verbal autistic and needs round the clock supervision even though he is, at this point, 11 almost 12 years old.  Jay took up custody since my sister passed away, stating he was happy he no longer needed to pay chils support. My mom, stepdad and nephew moved in with me on the day my sister passed away since i knew my mother could not stay in the house my sister passed away in.  They have been and still live with me almost a year later. Jay Sees his son, monday  tues and wed evenings for dinner and bedtime. He then drops him off back at my place. I keep him duing the day, before and after school  before he picks him up on those three days. I keep my nephew from thirsday at 6am to friday at 530 pm then  jay will pick him up for dinner and bed. He will then, drop him back off sometime on saturday where i will have him ubtil monday at 530.  Now Jay is engaged to a woman who does not want kids. He takes her on trips and outtings but he leaves his son with myself or my mother.  When asked if his future wife understands that she is going to be a mom Jay's only reply was oh yeah she wants His son to be part of the wedding, effectively dodging the question. I asked Jay to give up his parental rights out of fear that he will put my nephew in a group home. Because my sister didnt have any will, we dont have any legal recourse to stop such an event from happening until he turns 18 when we can petition the courts for conservitorship. So am i the asshole? Ps i know it is a little hard to follow.",AITA for telling my nephew's dad to hand over custody of his son.,NTA
110ogzb,"My youngest sister(YS) is looking into going to college with the goals of becoming a high school history teacher. My brother in law(BiL) and sister(OS) are trying to convince her to go to the same private religious college he went too. This college is going to end up around $145k for a 4 year degree. He went to this college fully paid for by is wealthy grandparents. My parents have never been financially able to assist with any of my siblings college. So the loans would be almost entirely private loans. My parents have been trying to get her to rethink that college because of the debt she would have to carry for 20-30 years being crippling with the income of a history teacher in our state. Loan payments would be about 1.2-1.5k per month for between 20-30 years. The average income for that profession in my state is about $50k. She does not have a good grasp of how debt and interest works, but my BiL says she should go if she wants too. I tried to have a private conversation with my BiL about the concerns the family has. In that conversation I learned he has never actually taken debt and was unaware of how interest effects loans. The whole situation has caused a rift in the family as we are trying to convince her to check into other options but my OS and BiL keep telling her that “God will find a way”. My BiL and OS have almost completely stopped having anything to do with the rest of the family and have convinced my YS that she will be brainwashed by liberals at other colleges. I don’t care where my sister goes, but she is currently being suggested to take on a long term crippling debt. AITA for trying to guide her away from that amount of debt?",AITA for stepping in on my sisters college plans?,NTA
110shnn,"Two of my friends (let's call them Connor and Alice) and I are getting together tonight and having pizza for dinner. Alice eats more than anyone I know (she is an athlete with an insane metabolism and eats a lot in one sitting). Whenever we have shared pizza in the past, Alice ends up eating what is probably more than her fair share simply because she is so hungry. She also only ever wants pepperoni pizza, which I'm not a huge fan of. I prefer chicken and veggie pizzas, which no one else ever wants, so I often begrudgingly agree to eat pepperoni when I'd much rather be eating something else.I asked Alice, who is ordering the pizzas, if Connor and I could split a large pizza so that I could get my preferred toppings, he could get his, and Alice could get a medium pepperoni all to herself. She responded by asking if we could instead split an extra large for all three of us. I don't want to do this because:* Alice would undoubtedly order pepperoni for half, which Connor and I don't particularly like, meaning she'd get half the pizza all to herself. She is pretty picky and often does not want anything besides pepperoni, so Connor and I wouldn't get nearly as much pizza for ourselves this way.* This would also mean that Connor and I would have to compromise on the other half, when I really just want my darn chicken and veggie pizza and I know Connor won't go for it (he is mostly vegetarian), meaning I'd have to once again give up my preferred toppings to appease the rest of the group.I doubled down and was a bit insistent that we do it the way I suggested, explaining that I rarely got to order my preferred toppings and that this way everyone would get what they wanted. Alice seemed a bit put off that I suggested it but seemed to reluctantly agree. She is a bit short on cash right now, but the price difference is pretty minimal--it's $20 for her to get a medium pepperoni for herself, whereas it would be around $15-17 for half of an extra large (that she would definitely end up eating half of herself), so it's really only a difference of a few bucks.AITA for suggesting we do it this way? I'm realizing that Alice may have been under the impression that we'd split the extra large three ways, but I don't think she necessarily realizes that she often eats a lot more than everyone else and it would be more fair for her to pay for more pizza since she tends to eat bigger portions.",AITA for insisting that my friend--who is a big eater--pay for more food than everyone else?,NTA
110zxse,"My BF (M25) and I (F23) have been living together for about 3 years now. We are both messy people, him more so than me. Recently, I've been trying to change that and have been making an effort to clean the house more often. I do most of the housework and cook, all I ask him to do is the dishes, take out the trash, and clean the litter box. He hates doing the dishes because normally he waits until the sink is full or we literally have no more dishes, and consequently it takes a long time. I pointed out to him a few weeks ago if he does the dishes every day, the load won't be so big and it won't take as long. (we do not have a dishwasher.) The other day, I texted him from work in the morning and asked if he could make dishes, as I don't want to dirty more dishes making dinner when there is already a sink full. I came home, and the dishes were not done. I got pretty frustrated since that was the only thing I asked him to do, and he couldn't be bothered. I told him I won't make him dinner unless the dishes are done, so he can do them now or spend his own money on takeout. He got mad and told me he didn't appreciate me ""blackmailing"" him, but I don't believe I was. Regardless, AITA?","AITA for ""blackmailing"" my boyfriend?",NTA
110saf3,"Normally in my home it is me (F41), hubby (M38) and daughter (24) who is attending school for her masters degree. He have a super chill and quiet home. My hubby and I have been together for 17 years and I love his family very much and we get together usually at our home (we are centrally located for all) as much as possible will everyone’s busy lives. My BIL has been in the hospital for 3 months  and has been released and has moved in with us to get his life back together and continue with PT/OT. On his first weekend at our home at about 11AM my FIL and his wife, my other BIL his wife and 2 (extremely well behaved) kids and the BIL staying with us ex-wife and their 2 (very unruly and horribly behaved) children all came to the house. As the day went on the hubby ran to the store and bought supplies and we made a big meal and had great family time. At 8:30PM when everyone was leaving the house my other BIL says to my hubby “since we will be coming here every weekend now let us know what we can bring food wise to help out so you guys don’t have to do it all.”While I appreciated him thinking of it and making the offer after they were all gone I had a chat with my hubby that is was NOT ok for them all to come to the house every weekend. I told him that I totally understood why they had visited my BIL in the hospital as much as possible but that he was “out of the woods” now and much better (obviously since he was released) so they did not need to come and fawn over him for HOURS every weekend. We had already given up a lot to bring him in but I was not willing to give up all my off time playing hostess to a house full of people.",AITA for telling my hubby his family can’t come over regularly?,NTA
110pbfh,"I am not sure if i am the asshole in this situation or not. I had surgery with general anastesia on Dec 19 and the expected full recovery time was 6 weeks.The first week i was extremely weak. I could barely put my clothes in the washingmachine and i got super tired and it hurt. I could not get out of bed/the couch for more than a couple of minutes. I was very weak, but that was expected. I told my family (who live 10-15 mins away from me) and my bf (who lives with me) that im not gonna be able to do anything other than sleep, eat and pee for 1-2 weeks. I was doing better after about 10 days. Within those 10 days i barely got support from my family. And you have to know that my mom works 5-10 hrs a week and the rest have flexible hours and noone works more than 8 hrs. My mom came to visit once to bring me lunch and walk my dog. My aunt bought me food once as well. And thats it. My bf is the only one that works a lot. But he knew about my surgery 1 month in advance. And normally (before we go on vacation for example) he schedules his work so that he is able to go. So he could have easly worked 30 mins more per day in that month and therefor come home earlier after my surgery in order to hlep me. To at least walk the dog. Also at the end of the year he normaly doesnt have that much to do so he could have come home earlier. In the ten days he didnt go to the grocery store to buy me food. Or make me food. Or do the laundry. He left for the gym at 7 and came from work at 7 in the evening. He made me tea once. I wanted to change the bed linen once, but only had the energy to take everything off. I asked him to pot the fresh linen on, but he didnt feel like it and only put it on the matress and not the pillows and blanket. I asked him once to hang the clothes and when i woke up in the morning they were still in the washing machine. And so forth.I always had the feeling that i was quite close to my family. I went to visit them twice a week (aunts fam, my parents and grandparents all live next to eachother). But in the 10 days (keep in mind that 4 of those days it was holidays so they were at home) my mom visited me once and my aunt only droped the food at my place. My dad called me once to check up on me and thats it. So i told them that i felt like noone cared and that they didnt show any support or help me in those 10 days. That i didnt even have groceries to try to make something to eat (i had eggs, but no milk, bread, meat...). I also told my bf that he didnt do anything in that time to help me and eventually both of us (with the dog, cleaning...).they all felt attacked and said that they did help out and kindof gaslighted me in a way. So now i doubt myself if i overreacted, but i am 90% confident that i am not the asshole in this situation.",AITA for confronting my family for not helping me,NTA
110x8u2,"I was married to my ex wife for 12 years and we had 4 kids together. She decided to pursue another relationship completely turning our world upside down. She lied the whole time and was not a good mom. After the divorce, I got the kids and she takes the minimum visits with them. Fast forward to now, I am remarried and very happy. My wife and I have a newborn together now as well as 4 children from her previous relationship. Recently, my parents have had my ex over to visit and invited her to come to their church when she has the kids. I have made it perfectly clear that this woman was terrible and wrecked my life. To be clear, I have the kids 12 out of every 14 days. The last 2 years we were married she hated my family and would not go around them. Also my mom has very much made it clear that she only cares about the original 4.At this point, I think I would prefer to just not associate with my parents anymore. AITA for being mad at my parents?Extra note: I will not keep the kids from my parents, I'm just upset with them for doing these things and trying to keep it secret, I am finding these things out after they happen.TLDR: Ex-wife put me through the worst time in my life, my parent's continue to have a relationship with her anyway.",AITA for being mad at my parents for their continuing to be friendly with my ex?,NTA
110r8g1,"I've had this doll now 23 years, in the box untouched millennium edition barbie doll that's now worth several hundred dollars. It was left on top of a bookshelf her kids climbed despite being told multiple times to not touch it, proceeded to open it, rip the hair out, shred the dress and shatter the ornament that came with the doll.When I asked her to replace it she tried telling me that clearly I should have taken it with me and that I left it where her kids could get it, however the suspected girl is almost 10 years old, she knows not to touch things and chose to do so anyway.AITA For thinking I am justified for asking for the replacement doll or the value of said doll at the midway mark for cost since the box was dinged?​EDITED TO ADD:I left the doll at my mother's until I found stable housing and would have the room to transport it home. I only have a little car and most times I go they fill it up with other things to bring home. I was finally able to get it this weekend..Or was going to.",AITA for asking my sister in law to replace a collector's doll?,NTA
110nuwy,"Long story short, I grew up with a single mom who was mentally abusive and unsupportive. I used to have dreams of attending university and she'd dismiss me and tell me to just work at McDonalds.Cut to now, I'm an adult that has somehow managed to build a portfolio of work extensive and good enough that when I decided to apply for a university just to see what would happen and I got in. When I got my acceptance letter I broke down in tears. I called my mom and she seemed mildly excited. I was really hoping I'd get some celebration, being the first person in my family to get into a degree program, but it wasn't any of that. I told her about the worries I had, being that I obviously don't have money and Id have to quit my job at least for a little just to be able to attend my first semester, so I was looking into student loans. I couldn't get any because of finding out that she took credit under my name, and I told her I needed a cosigner. I told her I was nervous and that I was thinking of not accepting this semester which was approaching very quick. She took it upon herself to reassure to me that it'd be fine, just pursue and she'll make it work. I trusted her, so I did.She wasn't able to be my cosigner, so then she reached out to my family, and they didn't want to do it either. At this point I was already at my first week of school and extremely worried about what to do. I kept asking her what's going on, what's happening, and she would say she's working it out and to keep going. I started to get distracted in school and all I could think about was how stressed I was. I talked to financial aid people and they were willing to help, but the history that my mom created with my credit wasn't good at all. I told her all of that, and suddenly she went completely cold on me, and stopped answering me completely. I texted her saying how stressed I was and how I needed her to respond or at least provide me with some information, or just be a mother and be there for anything, but she didn't. Suddenly one day, I get a text from her that says 'I love you, just wanted you to know, if you need anything from me I'm here', and I kind of flipped out. I said 'I'm pursuing something I've dreamed off for so long that by complete chance they let me do, and I went to you for help already, and you completely ignored me, what am I supposed to say to this?' and once again she completely went cold on me. I started feeling scared about my options and I texted again in a few days saying, 'I seriously can't believe you're doing this to me, I don't understand.'I just got nothing from her. At this point I'm stressed about having quit my job, I'm worried I'm not going to do well in school, so I sent a couple of texts along the lines of 'this is absolutely crazy, you've done so much to ruin my life already, and I think you should see someone about this,' 'I hate you for always making things difficult for me and never helping'. And now we're still not talking.",AITA for cutting off all communications with my mom and telling her I hate her?,NTA
1110wnn,"So I(23f), recently got together with some of my best friends after one of my friends passed away. We all hung out after not seeing each other after for awhile and since I am the only one who has a big enough space for everyone, I offered to have everyone over and we could order in food. My husband and I aren’t rich by any means but we live comfortably. After discussing with the group we ordered pizza and Chinese food from a separate place and we ended up footing the bill for everyone which cost us over $150 easily. They offered to pay, but it was late and we were tired and mourning the loss so we told everyone not to worry about it.  2 weeks later, we had my friends (15 people) over again and this time I decided that to cut costs for everyone I would cook at home. I made a lovely meal and no one offered to chip in money which was fine by me and I was happy to just cook and hang out with everyone.  This Saturday my friends wanted to go out with me and invited my husband as well, to a restaurant and we ate delicious food and had a nice time. At the end of the meal everyone decided to split the bill evenly since we all shared the appetizers and everyone’s entrees were similar prices. I asked them if they would cover my husband and my portion bc we had paid for the last 2 meals between all of us (our total together was about 40$ so they would have been paying under 10$ each assuming the couples were paying together) and one of my friends refused and started to get really upset that I would even suggest it. She said that is was unfair because her and her boyfriend are unemployed currently and we have enough money to cover our share. I reminded her once again that we had covered the last 2 meals free of cost and she stood her ground and my other friends agreed with her. My friend got pretty hostile and we ended up walking out on them, leaving them with our bill but we did personally give the waiter a tip on our way out. It’s been a few days and I’m still receiving some upset texts from my friends and now I feel like I should have just sucked it up….. AITA?",AITA for not paying for my share for food?,YTA
110v41g,"I 17m brought some donut holes home at my mothers request. I got a box of 25 and ate 2 and gave one to my mother. I left the box of donuts on the counter when I got home and called my sister 12f to inform her we got donuts. I headed downstairs for 2 hours, but when I came back up I noticed the box of donuts in the trash can. My mother was downstairs in the home theater watching a movie, and my father is on a strict low sugar diet, so I came to the conclusion that my sister had eaten all the donuts. I went upstairs to her room and asked her where all the donuts are. At first, she tried to pin it on our mom, saying “look at her weight, she probably ate it”, when I called her out on it she admitted that she had eaten all the donuts, except the powder sugar ones because she didn’t like them (nobody does, they make mouth dry). I started talking about how unhealthy it was (roughly 90g of sugar and 990 calories in one sitting), and she defended by saying that she didn’t eat the powdered ones (because they are unhealthy because of the extra sugar ?!?), and how I was trying to make her insecure about her eating, but overall wasn’t listening to my argument about health. I told her then about how it was inconsiderate to not leave any other donuts for anyone else to eat. She responded something along the lines of “heres the donuts, fatty” and threw the remaining donuts at me. I may have potentially lost it here and called her land whale saying that she will never get a boyfriend or husband because of her weight and she will be crippled for the rest of her life like Nikacado Avacadro. She looked like she was about to cry a bit and pushed me out of her room. She later told my mother about it resulting in me getting a lecture about maturity and losing my driving privileges, however I feel like I am in the right here, AITA?Info: they were donut holes not full donuts, im too lazy to add hole to every sentance.Edit: there has been a small miswriting, I didnt say she will never get a boyfriend/husband because of her current weight, I said she will never get a boyfriend/husband because of her “future weight if she keeps eating like this”. I know this is a really big detail, sorry.Also, any argument along the lines of “being the better person” is completely invalid for me. I don’t believe in ethics and put personal interests first.Edit 2: I acknowledge I will be alone in the future also. And I accept that future, considering I am alone now.",AITA for calling my sister a land whale.,YTA
110vwr1,"This is on the low-stakes of the asshole chain. I live at an apartment complex that has a dog park (really it’s a fenced in 15x15 patch of dirt). There is some weird unwritten social rule that only one resident uses the dog park at a time. I have lived here for three years, and I’ve never seen two people use it at the same time. When I use it, people will continue walking their dog and then come back as I soon as I leave. If I see someone else is using it, I’ll just take my dog to a patch of grass elsewhere. There is this family that always waits right outside the gate of the dog park if someone else is using it and just watches you until you feel uncomfortable enough to leave (that’s how I feel anyway). Over the last three years, they have done this to me dozens of times. I have tried to pretend like they aren’t there so I don’t feel unfairly rushed into leaving early, but my dog gets scared when these people and their big dog are staring him down so he just freezes and he won’t move, which makes it useless for us to be in there anyway if he isn’t walking around/using the bathroom. Additionally, one time when I tried to just ignore them, the mom of the family loudly said “ugh this girl always takes forever.”Honestly, I am tired of it. So today I was using the dog park and had only been in there for maybe 3 minutes. The whole family (mom, dad, two kids, big dog) came and stood right outside the gate and just stared at us. I waited maybe a minute then I turned around and told them that my dog is friendly and they are welcome to use the dog park at the same time as me so they aren’t just awkwardly standing there. The dad said “no. We’ll just stay here.” Then I said, “it’s extremely uncomfortable for your whole family to be standing right outside the gate staring at me. It makes me feel like you’re rushing me out so you can use it. If you don’t want to come inside, maybe you should come back when it’s empty.” The dad said “well my dog wants to use the park and I can’t just drag her away. She’s not going to leave.” And I said “okay well it’s pretty rude to just stand there and stare at me until I leave.” My dog and I pretty much left immediately after the exchange because he was too fixated on the people and dog and he wouldn’t move around.I know this seems silly and definitely not the most egregious thing a person can do, but it has happened repeatedly and nothing will change if I don’t say anything. It drives me crazy and I feel bad for my dog. We never spend a lot of time in there. Maybe 5-7 minutes. Never more than 10.So AITA for telling this man that it’s rude for him and his family to just stand right outside the dog gate and stare at people until they leave?",AITA for telling someone that it’s rude for him and his family to stand outside the dog park gate and stare at people until they leave?,NTA
1111r2n," So one of my(25F) best friends since college(27F) let’s call her “Alexis” had been dating a guy(28M) “Jack” for about 6 years now. Initially all seemed well and they were on the same page about marriage and kids. They initially both wanted those things and mutually agreed to get married and start trying for a family once they were both post grad and steady in the workforce.  That time came recently and Jack brought up wanting to start trying for kids but how his mind has changed on marriage because he’s scared of what the court systems do to men. Which is fair. Alexis told him that’s fine if he doesn’t want to marry but then she’d rather they remain childfree and not co-habitate if they stay together because she doesn’t want to be a baby mama, she doesn’t want to risk her health and body for a man that doesn’t view her as worth being a wife and she wouldn’t want to have a different last name from her kids as Jack would want any potential kids to have his last name. They’d been arguing back and forth about this for a while. Alexis long gave up on trying to convince Jack of marriage but he’s still trying to convince her into having kids. He’s employed every method from sweet-talking, to guilt tripping, to shaming etc.  During this whole ordeal Alexis has been coming to our friend group venting and asking for advice. After a while of this going on I told her just because she loves him and has invested 6 years already doesn’t mean she’s obligated to stay with him. How she respected his wishes of not wanting marriage but him not respecting her wishes of not wanting kids is a red flag. How she’d be well within her rights to leave him no matter what he says about that being  “giving up on love for no good reason” among other things.She took the words to heart and in another big argument broke up with him and told him about the points I brought up and how she felt I was right. The breakup has caused a bit of a rift in the friend group and it’s kind of split in 3 now, those on Alexis’s side, those who “feel bad” for Jack and those who are remaining neutral. Jack has been very angry and blowing me up on social media especially after Alexis blocked him on everything. Some of our friends felt I shouldn’t have said anything beyond run of the mill platitudes and that I should’ve just let her vent and had them figure it out on their own. While other friends think I was right to say what I did and that Alexis needed to hear it. AITA?",AITA for “making” my friend breakup with her BF of 6 years?,NTA
110szfl,"So I live with my boyfriend and his family. I pay $650 a month for the room, plus electricity for the house and I pay the gardener. We also make dinner for the house as a rotation. My boyfriends brother and his girlfriend also live with us so they’re apart of the rotation. The four of us and his dad will make dinner Monday-Friday and we all have a specific day. His mom will make dinner on Saturday and Sunday is take-out day that we all split. My day to make dinner is Wednesday. My boyfriends brother and his girlfriend had a talk with me yesterday saying that I do not put enough effort into my dinner day. When I make dinner it’s mostly pasta and the sauce is normally the ones you can buy at the store. The only sauce I make from scratch is Alfredo since it’s cheap and doesn’t take long. I’ll make stuff like spaghetti, Cajun chicken Alfredo, gnocchi and mushrooms. Just stuff like that. I will also make the occasional more difficult dishes but I honestly don’t have the patience to spend all that time cooking. I work part-time (30 hours a week) and go to school full-time (4 classes) so spending 2+ hours cooking is just not a priority. Also it’s cheaper to buy it from the jar and I could afford it, but it would take away from other things I set my budget for. I save 10% of my check for retirement and another 10% for emergency savings. The brother and girlfriend said since I’m young I don’t need to be saving for retirement and it’s “excessive.”I asked them if they liked my food and they said yes but they would like me to make more of an effort instead of buying the sauce from a jar. They also said I make too much pasta. This kind of got me mad because the girlfriend also makes a LOT of pasta but she’ll make the sauce is the only difference. I asked my boyfriends parents about it and they said they didn’t mind me making stuff from a jar and that they can’t taste the difference between my pasta and the girlfriends pasta.I told the brother and girlfriend that I will not be changing the way I make food and they don’t have to eat it if they don’t want to. They’re pretty pissy about it now and said I’m being a jerk and the least I could do is make something from scratch once a week. AITA?**his family, excluding his dad, generally always make more difficult meals. **My boyfriends brother will only cook once a month, his girlfriend will cover his day so I feel like he has no place to talk.",AITA for making easy meals for my boyfriends family?,NTA
110zqss,"i really gotta know because i’m getting a lot of stick for this right now from my friend group and my older sister. fake names! context: my group and i went out to eat two weeks ago and after that we went clubbing, Ana (the cheater) disappeared from the group for about 15 minutes. we were concerned but not surprised because she’s known for disappearing to the dance floor when clubbing- at the same time there’s the “never leave a girl alone” rule so we went on a proper manhunt for her where we found her with a group of boys and two girls on the second floor. i’m gonna skip forward, a couple of my friends and this group of boys were hitting it off. keep in mind this group was very suggestive; they had been from the start so me, Beth and Cathy (girls my group) were confused as to why Ana was with them in the first place. we all go to the same train station and suddenly Ana and one boy walk off, with no explanation. like i look up and they’re just rushing off without a word. without too much explanation we heard noises and giggles, she yelped at one point… and she answered our “babe are u ok?” texts with “yeah babe back in a sec! having a cigarette x” which meant she was lying to us yet we all knew. needless to say none of us were surprised, she’s always been suggestive with other men while in a relationship. i don’t want anyone thinking we left a drunk girl to be taken advantage of either, she drunk the least out of all of us as she’s on a “tolerance break” anyway. - this has been a common misconception when i tell people. so back to the title, i told her boyfriend. i told him everything the same way i told you guys with no sugar coating. while telling him i felt genuinely scared and sick because i know word would go around that i told him, but that’s because we’ve been close for years as we all collectively went to the same school. since then, i’ve had NOTHING but backlash, including from my sister who told me “i should’ve minded my business” and “everyone cheats so why would i fuck up my best friend like that”. Beth and Cathy seem to support me to my face and backchat about me being a “pick me”. i’m really conflicted now, because when i first told him i thought i did the best thing i could and it was better he found out, but now i’m wondering if it would’ve been better if i kept my mouth shut and let him live in ignorance. anyway, opinions?",AITA for telling my friend’s boyfriend she cheated?,NTA
1112iji,"My boyfriend (29 m) and I (28 f) are struggling trying to conceive a child. We are starting IVF protocol.Last week, we were eating with my in-laws and started talking about a cousin who just had twins thank to IVF. My mother-in-law said that ""I don't understand why people who can’t have children, go through these unnatural process, they should just accept that they can’t have child, it's no big deal » it hurt me but I said nothing. (By the way i’m also a IVF child, she doesn’t know that, so is my bf half sister from his father side, she knows that).Later she asked us « when are you gonna make me a baby ? ». It was too much fo me so I said that if we are lucky enough to have a child she probably won’t want anything to do with him/her cause he/she won’t be born naturally. The rest of the evening was cold.My bf says I went too hard on his mother, that she wouldn't have said that if she knew what we were going through. He wishes that I talk to her to make things better. But for now I don’t want to talk to her unless she apologies.AITA ?",AITA for refusing to make amend with MIL unless she apologies,NTA
110wz7j,"Me (30’s F) and my brother (32M) are close in age, full-blooded siblings. We are drastically different in personality and outlook on life. My brother has never paid for anyone’s meal. In his life. Except maybe the women he has dated, but he has asked me before when he should and shouldn’t pay for their meals. He borrows money from everyone, even gas money from our mom (70F). He feels entitled to everyone’s money and time.My brother has a habit of crashing in on events so that you end up buying his meal. He has always picked the most expensive thing on the menu. Every time we have gone out for family gatherings, my husband or I invite distant relatives out. My brother, who lives with my family, joins in. This includes my parents making sure that if I bring food for them because they like to watch my child (1M), that I remembered my sibling man child also needs a plate.Recently, it was my father’s birthday and we had extended relatives in town. I asked my dad what he wanted to do for his birthday (70’s). He said he would really like to have everyone out for dinner. I texted my brother, asking how he wanted to approach this. After some time of ignoring me, I asked again closer to the birthday. He responded saying “I don’t know and don’t care. No one does anything to celebrate my birthday. Why should I care for anyone else’s?” I just ignored him, because it was insanely selfish given that our father had a terminal illness and could pass any day even just from old age. I decide with my husband on a place, account for everyone except my brother. Day of the birthday, guess who shows up? My brother, avoiding my eye contact. He grabs the menu and looks over it. I text him asking him if he is going to at least pay for his meal, since there were a lot of mouths to feed and he showed up unexpectedly. He read my text, handed the menu back to our server and said to everyone,” I don’t want to eat here.” He texted me “I’m blocking you” and then walked off. Later my mom told me it wasn’t classy what I did. I reminded her that her grown son lives rent free while I pay for their mortgage and groceries in exchange for her helping me with my child — and that I couldn’t believe he expects me to cover his meal. My mom said it was embarrassing in front of extended family.My child’s first birthday is approaching and my brother is acting like he hasn’t done anything wrong. He asked me if I needed help, always after I finish tasks I’m doing at my parents house. AITA for not inviting him to my sons birthday and for demanding he pay for his meal?",AITA for not inviting brother to my child’s birthday?,NTA
110z9lj," **In 2020, my sister bought a house so we can all live together during the pandemic to save money.** Contractor Downgrayedd (fake name) was hired to add a bathroom to the den and fix our main bathroom shower. Construction past the due date. My sister asked me to show up for the inspection to see what was holding up. **I asked permission to record during the inspection so my sister could see what was going on. Through the inspector, we found out Downgrayedd lied about being a licensed contractor.** He did everything wrong in the den and abandoned the project.**I posted the inspection videos on TikTok and they went viral.** I then found my sister a 5-star contractor company named Upgrayedd  (fake name) to finish Downgrade's work. **Upgrayedd was excited that I would post their work on TikTok to promote their company.** I made a couple of TikTok videos that received positive comments for their company. Upgrayedd thanked me and said they wanted more, they wanted 1 million views. **Later,** **Upgrayedd was caught cutting corners.** Including: not following the construction plan, not following the inspector checklist, never supervising subcontractors, destroying our mini split air conditioner and not telling us, and leaving dangerous trash and debris everywhere that almost hurt my mother. Subcontractors had no idea what they were supposed to do when they arrived because there were no guidelines and no communication from Upgrayedd. I had to look at the inspector checklist online with them to figure out the steps. Because of that, I have befriended many subcontractors. **I made sure I received their verbal consent to record their work and I never heard a complaint from them about recording. (record about 5 min a day)**I stopped posting on TikTok when things got out of hand & requested Upgrayedd to do the right thing.  **Upgrayedd emailed my sister and told her that I harassed their workers and recorded them when they didn't want to be recorded.** I then agreed to stop all recordings but I still need to be around because of their bad track record. We requested that Upgrayedd refund my sister some of the money she previously had paid them for work that had not started and also to correct the inspection checklist before charging her again. **They refused all of it and ghosted us.** I started posting on TikTok again. Upgrayedd then sent my sister a certified letter**. In the letter, Upgrayedd said they are giving us 7 days to remove all videos or they will sue her for 2.5 Million dollars.** They also demanded that she pay the remaining balance with interest and take down all the videos (my videos), comments, and posts. They said that my videos: harm the company's reputation, hurt their employees, and they experienced humiliation, mental anguish, emotional distress, and psychological damage.None of my family or my sister wants to back down. We want justice but the justice system is broken. Now AITA for not wanting to back down even though we might lose everything.",AITA for not wanting to take down my videos even after being sued for harassment (2.5 million usd)?,NTA
110um77,"For context my dad and mom have been divorced for 10 years now. My half sister(24) always took my moms side because my dad would discipline her and my mom would let her do whatever and jumped on my dad for trying to discipline her because  ""shes not your daughter"". Well flash forward to today and my dads going through another divorce, with another abusive alcoholic. I (21M) am not very close to my mom nor step mom. So i talk to my dad about everything.   So now to the actual problem. My niece was having her 7th birthday party and my sister didn't tell me about it, mainly because it was last minute and for her friends. Which is completely understandable. Let me also say im extremely close with my niece, but my sister and i aren't because of how she treated me as a child. Well my step dad tells me about said party. So i message my sister and asked what their address is and when my niece wakes up so i can tell her happy birthday. The next morning i got called into work early because of an emergency. Because of this i missed being able to tell my niece happy birthday that morning. I texted my sister to let her know and called three times that afternoon to make up for it. I also tell her i sent the present, when it will be there, and to tell her for me. She never replies and never calls back so i get a little upset because i didn't get to tell my niece happy birthday.  So i call my dad and vent to him about how i feel like she doesnt want me around and how i feel crushed that we dont get to be as close to my sister as other siblings.    Today i recieve a message that my step mom had messaged my sister and other two siblings about how i was ""shit talking"" my sister and she believed her and continued to berate me and tell me that my dad and myself are pieces of shit. I got pissed and snapped back and told her what i said and how i felt. But she insists that i am the asshole for talking about her to my dad. I am honestly worried shes right. Ive already cut my mom out im worried i will have to do the same with my siblings as well.   So AITA?",AITAfor talking to my dad about my sister,NTA
110wbhs,"My gf(26F) and I (28M) live together and she owns a car and I don't. I take the subway to work as it is easier. Her car is a 3 year old Mercedes and it cost her a lot but she makes good money.My gf by her own admission does not find periods painful but gets a lot of PMS and becomes irritable. She tries to hide it by acting very nice when she has it to the point that it comes across as fake but then snaps from time to time.Recently while she was experiencing PMS and driving she side swipped her mirror on a parked car. There was only paint damage on both cars and the other owner let it go.When we drive together, she usually drives as it is her car but I do use her car too when I go somewhere alone. I was thinking of offering to drive  her car when she has pms but I was wondering WIBTA as it might come across as rude. She has said she likes to drive since it is her car and whenever she has PMS and I offer to do things for her in the house she gets upset at me.",WIBTA for offering to drive for my gf when she is on her period,YWBTA
1110txa,"My (28f) friend (28f) is a certified personal trainer and has been for the last six years. She’s great at her job—she works at an amazing gym and is no doubt knowledgeable in what she does. I’m someone trying to get back into shape and recently went back to the gym. I have very little health/exercise knowledge outside of Google/YouTube, my doctor, and Reddit pages. In the past, I’ve used online guides or apps for my workouts. My friend has made it very clear to me and our friends that she won’t work for free when it comes to PT. I respect that so I’ve never asked her for advice on working out. Now that I’m back in the gym, I started running on the treadmill for about ~30 mins then some light weight lifting. I started to realize I wasn’t as focused doing weight lifting (and frankly, not that interested) and that running helped me feel healthier. I also realized I’m fairly good at running. I basically stopped doing weights all together and just do stretches and ab stuff after my run. I understand the benefits of weight lifting, but running is much more enjoyable and it makes me excited to work out! While in a group hang with our PT friend present, I mentioned that I’m trying to lose some weight for the summer and that I’ve been running a lot and that I’m excited about it. PT friend said that if I really wanted to lose weight, I’d switch to weight lifting and cool it on the cardio. I told her that I enjoy running more but she insisted that I’m waisting my time and that I won’t achieve my goals by summertime. I told her that I didn’t want to discuss it anymore (trying not to solicit her PT hours) but she got offended and asked if I thought I knew better than her or if I got my PT license without her knowledge. I told her that I know my body better than she knows mine and that running made me feel good. I brought up that I’d actually been losing a healthy amount of weight and that I could walk up stairs a lot better now so I was doing fine with just running. Another friend changed the subject and I thought it was the end of it. Two weeks later, she told me that one of our friends in the group had reached out to her previously about becoming a client but decided against it after the hangout because she “realized she could do it on her own” cause I was. She called me an asshole for losing her money. I can see how I could be an asshole for bringing up training stuff with her present. However, I was just being honest about my own personal journey. Did I undermine her? AITA for losing her a client?",AITA for losing my personal trainer friend a client?,NTA
1111gke,"I (30s F) and Max (40s M) have already had a couple of dates. He's a single dad, overall a nice person, and we get on. Because we live in different countries, this hasn't been a regular thing. That said, he is in my city for work every few weeks, and travelling is no obstacle for me, so distance isn't a big issue if we were to go forward with dating.After not talking much since the holiday season, he let me know he'll be in town soon and if I would like to go on a dinner date. It happens to be my birthday when he's around (a time I usually spend doing stuff with friends), but he insisted that since we haven't seen each other for a bit he would like to give me a special treat. I told him this wasn't necessary and we could have a simple date, just grab some takeout and watch a movie or go on a walk. Again he insisted he'd like to take me out for dinner ""somewhere nice"". I agreed and he told me to suggest a few places that would be extra special as a treat/gift for my birthday. I made a few suggestions, including a personal favourite (I told him this) because it serves food from my homeland. However, he said he prefered somewhere more fancy and finally chose a Michelin star restaurant as it sounded like something he would like as well. I asked if I should make the reservation or if he would do it. He said he would do it. After a few minutes, he asked me how to make a reservation there. This is literally a link on their Google map profile as well as very obviously on their homepage. The restaurant site is in 3 languages (very easy to select at the top of the page). He insists it's too complicated so I go ahead to do it. It requires a deposit, which is basically the cost for one person. Fair enough. When I'm done, I mention it to him, and he says, ""Thanks, your end is sorted now, happy to give you such a nice gift"". This kinda rubbed me the wrong way. Not only did I not want anything fancy and repeatedly asked for a more low key date, he was the one who insisted on an expensive place as a gift to me, but then after making this choice he's happy I pay for my own gift which he then weirdly takes credit for. The money isn't an issue since we both have good jobs, but the way he handled it was just so strange. I'm inclined to change the reservation to dinner for one. WIBTA?",WIBTA to cancel a date I already agreed to?,NTA
110jreh,"My parents gave me 80K to buy a place 5 years ago. My sister refused to be involved in any capacity (e.g. investor named on mortgage, joint live in owner) and so I bought alone. At that time, my parents agreed that the money was my early inheritance but they later said that they might expect me to pay an unspecified amount back and I ended up giving them 5K back in the year after I bought.Several years after I bought, my sister confronted me about her right to the 80K. I was a little surprised but after discussing with my parents agreed that I would try to help my sister buy if/when the time comes with money (equivalent to half what I received less repayments) to buy.My sister has never bought property but has now received 15K from me (5K) and my parents (10K) to pay for other expenses since I received the 80K. Her fiancé owns a home and together they are very financially comfortable/stable.Recently my sister asked about the remaining money (25K)  and I responded that she would definitely receive money if/when I sold the flat BUT I would also try to help (exact amount would be totally dependent on my circumstances) if they wished to buy again before this date.I think this is a reasonable response, however this has now become a source of tension between us and my sister thinks that /I should find a way to give her the money now. AITA for not finding a way to give her the money now?",AITA for not giving my sister 25K?,NTA
110u4sl,"Hey y’all! My dog is a rescue and suuuper reactive with skateboards and scooters. He’s great with other dogs and people, but skateboards and the like are his only triggers. It’s sometimes tough for me to walk him in my neighborhood as we have a lot of both, so I like to take him to the dog park to get some energy out. As soon as we get in the gate there’s a young guy with a hoverboard and he starts using it. Not going very fast at all but enough to trigger my dog’s freakout sensors. I call my dog off (he didn’t bite or anything, but was getting close) and the guy stops and apologizes. I say “It’s okay, but probably not the best place for that.” As I’m walking away he says “Thanks for the advice, don’t need it.” At this point I shot him a pretty dirty look and made sure to keep my dog on the other side of the park. He however ceased to ride the hoverboard. I feel like that’s a pretty clear “don’t” but AITA for having a reactive dog at the dog park?Edit for clarity: this is specifically a fenced in dog park, not a multi use parkEdit 2: Thanks for the feedback everyone! Great points from both sides. I do want to mention that I’m in training with my dog.",AITA for getting mad at a dude with a hoverboard at the dog park?,NTA
110wqlw,"My partner (M23) and I (F25) suffered two miscarriages before we had our child a couple of months ago. Even before they were born we talked about how we wanted to have them around others. Things like no hot potato-ing or kissing their face. Simple yet common rules for our baby we thought.Around a month postpartum my partner’s cousin came around to meet the baby and when I asked for them back the cousin said “no” turning away for me. I quickly said “I'm the one that just had her, give her back” after a few moments he did.Then when the baby was around 6 weeks that same cousin’s mom came to meet the baby. My partner quickly told her not to kiss the baby’s face because we didn’t want the baby to catch anything and she replied “ah nothing is going to happen to her” and immediately started kissing her cheeks.Then on Christmas we were at a get together where the aunt was and while my partner was holding the baby, she walked up to him and thrust her arms out. “I want to hold her” my partner pulled the baby away but she continued to grab at the baby making the baby start crying out. Finally the cousin/her son told her to stop and she said, “watch because you won’t let me hold her she’s gonna get sick.” After that they left and her daughter showed before leaving quickly after as well. My partner's brother was at the other family gathering and relayed to us how the aunt, the daughter, and the daughter’s husband were calling us disrespectful and rude.At another family party a few weeks after, the daughter asked if she could hold the baby and I told her “maybe in a bit because she’s tired right now, it’s time for her nap”. “Oh” Now my partner's mom relayed to us that when another of her sisters said she was excited to meet our baby one of others mockingly said “well you might not be able to hold her”.As of today, we all got together again and everything seemed fine until after we left. My partner's sister was with the family and the daughter of the kissing aunt asked her “if I buy OP a Starbucks you think she’ll let me hold her baby” my partners sister told her that wasn’t necessary but the daughter told her I never let her hold the baby. Then my partner's sister said “did you ask her?” “Yes last time” “I didn’t hear you ask her today” which she didn’t the only thing she did was keep touching my baby grabbing at their legs arms and cheeks and even saying “you know if you don’t let people touch them they could get sick it’s called mal de ojo “. I told her in response that’s what the bracelet she wears is for, to protect against that. Then the aunt, at the gathering we weren’t at, was telling everyone about what happened at Christmas and how humiliated she felt. The conversation continued until my partner's sister started to get angry though defending us and our decisions, they ended it and my partner's sister left.As an outsider looking in, I genuinely want to know if I’m being over dramatic or over protective.",AITA: for not letting my partner’s family hold my child?,NTA
1112czq,"I’m turning 26 at the end of the week and I wanted to have a nice dinner with my family. My family includes my mom, grandparents, and three significantly younger siblings. When I suggested the place to my mom (think the same price as Olive Garden), I told her I’d pay for myself and my grandparents since it’s a bit expensive. I also told her not to worry about the cake as I would buy myself one. Today, she texts me saying she won’t get me a present since she has to pay for my family to eat dinner at the restaurant. This confused me as I haven’t gotten a present in years and wasn’t expecting one, and also because I already told her I’d pay for my grandparents. She then goes onto say that next year I should do my own party, meaning I pay for the food and the cake and “we” bring presents. I’m honestly not sure who we is because I also don’t get gifts from my grandparents and definitely don’t expect them to start. After this she starts complaining about paying for my siblings, my grandparents, and my uncle (who I don’t talk to and don’t know why he can’t pay for himself). I then told her not to worry about it and that I don’t want to do anything that day. She’s giving me the cold shoulder. AITA for cancelling the party so last minute? Am I just being a brat?",AITA for cancelling my birthday dinner?,NTA
110gm7e,"I (22M) have been dating my girlfriend (18F) for about nine months. Last week her grandmother passed away. I declined going to the funeral because it was too early in the morning for me.My gf is upset with me for not going and doesn't understand ""my logic"". She pointed out I got up early for our supervisor's funeral (we work at the same company). I told her that was a little different, I worked with Emily every day and wanted to pay my respects.I only met her grandmother once, and as I explained to her, I would have had to get up really early and leave my place by 7:30am to get to the meeting spot at 9am where we would then take car service to the church. I am coming from Brooklyn into Manhattan. My gf already lives in Manhattan so she is not the one having to take an hour train ride in the morning. I already have to make this train ride 5x a week.My girlfriend said these are all excuses and she wants a break for now, she is really upset with me.AITA reddit? Or is my girlfriend in the wrong for not understanding my situation?",AITA for not going to my gf's grandmother's funeral?,YTA
110tj8n,"I live and work in the USA but my retired parents are in Italy. We've been toying with the idea of going to Taiwan for a family holiday for ages since we hadn't had a family vacation since my siblings and I were children. But I also wanted to go to Japan. I'd been to Taiwan before, so it was less priority for this trip. I've only ever taken holidays abroad once in my life (the last time I went to Taiwan) and I rarely take vacations.All of us were fine with me splitting my precious 2.5 weeks PTO between the two. I also paid for half my parents ticket costs, just haven't bought my tickets yet. My intent was to spend 11 days in Japan, and 7 days in Taiwan. But now my parents want me to revolve my itinerary around theirs, even wanting me to check into the same hotels/airbnb as them, which would force my time in Japan down to just 6 days.I pushed back saying I could just book a separate airbnb and keep my original itinerary, but they got angry, saying the whole point of the trip is to travel as a family. I pointed out that being retirees they have the luxury of staying as long as they want, while I can only spend a certain amount each time per year. They accused me of being selfish and not wanting to go with them, and then suggested I not go to Taiwan with them at all.",AITA for not wanting to spend most of my vacation with my parents?,NTA
110i3s2,"I’ve (f32) been with my Italian husband (m45) for 10 years, married for a few years, I’ve known his family for many years as well. In laws are very nice people, make an effort with my large South American family (ex: they hosted a huge dinner at their home to celebrate our engagement and invited 30+ of my relatives, MIL even cooked most of the food), get along well with my parents and are just very sweet people. I have close relationships with my husband’s brother, wife & their kids. Mostly, I feel like I won the lottery with my husband and his family.   Here is the problem: they still don’t know what country I’m from and what religion I grew up with! When it comes up in conversation, they either say “you’re from “wrong country” right?”, or “your family practices “wrong religion” right?”, and I always correct them but it DOESN’T STICK! It’s not some tiny forgotten country or religion either lol. I don’t get it!!! That’s a huge part of someone’s identity and I don’t understand why they couldn’t be bothered to know these things. My relationship is interracial and tbh it makes me feel like my in-laws see me as different and…. that’s it. Im just “different” and it stops there. I brought this up to my husband and he was hurt, said I’m ripping into his family for no reason. I can’t help but feel like I’m nagging at something that I shouldn’t because they are genuinely good people who show me a lot of love. And I love them too! I can’t get passed the fact that they don’t seem to know, or want to know, a fundamental part of me. Am I the asshole??   TL/DR: have the best in-laws but they still don’t know basic info about me after 10 years, I’m upset about it.",AITA for being upset that my in-laws still don’t know my ethnicity or religion after 10 years of being with their son?,NTA
110xinp,"I (17f) am a junior in high school. I’m not necessarily popular, but I have friends. There’s a dance at my school coming up which is our version of Sadie Hawkins, as it’s advertised as girls ask guys. Normally with cute signs and such, not dissimilar to promposals. I was talking to someone I thought was my friend (17m), and casually asked if he wanted to go with me. I didn’t do a sign because it was a spur of the moment decision. He said no, that he didn’t really plan on going to the dance. I said ok, and that was the end of our conversation. About five minutes later, he starts talking to some other friends about how he’s going to the dance with another girl. He was seated around two and a half feet away from me, so I could hear him talking about it. Didn’t feel great to know he’d lied. I should say, I am an acquired taste. I’m loud, blunt, and some would say annoying. I understand why he didn’t want to go with me. That’s not the part I’m upset about. I’m upset about the fact that he lied, but started talking about his other date where I could hear it. I confronted him and asked why he lied. I said I thought we were friends. He said I was overreacting and shouldn’t have listened to his conversation, which is true, but I genuinely couldn’t help but overhear. He made a comment about how I’m “not the girl guys typically wanna go with,” which really hurt. I walked away after that. I’ve had a couple people say that I was overreacting and it was rude of me to listen to his conversation. I understand that I shouldn’t have, and I won’t do it again. But I don’t know if I’m overreacting.",AITA for confronting a guy after he lied to me,NTA
1110ece,"I am having a hard time wrapping my head around this.  My brother and I work together but do not have a great personal relationship.   Long story short, his wife drank quite a bit and my mom had a substance abuse problem so it was unsettling to my Dad.  I was always caught in the middle of that but would side with my Dad because honestly I  felt she could  refrain from drinking her 4 glasses of wine during the dinner we would all have together a few times a year.  After all of this drama went down , my brother started to not communicate anything with his personal life.  My Dad, brother and I worked together at our own company until my Dad passed away a year ago.  It’s a fairly successful company and I am the CFO and qualifier.  If I leave…it’s game over.  So here is where it gets interesting…I just found out my brother moved and never told me.  Like 6 months ago.  Also I would like to add that most everybody who works with us knew but also knew that either I wasn’t supposed to know or he didn’t want anybody to know so nobody said anything. I just helped my brother fill out something which saved him a bunch of money because he didn’t know how to do it and when it came to his address, he read his old one to me which was clearly deceitful.  I found out through the grapevine that he moved and looked up the tax records and found out it was true.  This truly was embarrassing to me that we are related, business partners, and I was the last to know.  I honestly don’t know if I want to continue working with him or if I should just make plans to exit gracefully.  AITA?",AITA to want to exit?,NTA
110whl7,"It was 12PM when my mom decided to go to the store and told me to watch my niece while I got ready for work. I had work at 1PM and it takes me 30 mins to get to work. So I only had 30 mins to get ready and then she leaves. I got upset about the inconvenience and called my dad to unload. I didn’t want him to call her honestly, I was hoping he would just let me vent. But he hurriedly got off the phone with me saying he didn’t want to talk. That hurt my feelings because in that moment I was also crying. Then he went to my mom about it.Fast forward: I come home from work and I see my mom has an attitude. I already knew it was about earlier so I told her I was open to discussing her issue. She tells me she didn’t appreciate how I reported to my dad about her like a child. I told her my intention was to get my feelings out, not for him to contact her. She was still upset that I went to him about her. I tell her that she’s done the same about me and also he’s my dad, I should be able to talk to him about my issues. She was still upset though because my dad had apparently called her with an attitude about the situation. I told her it’s an issue that he can’t simply be open to someone’s emotions and that was his doing to have an attitude with her about it. So after that the conversation fell short and at this moment she’s angrily folding clothes. Am I in the wrong here?",AITA for defending myself against my mom?,NTA
1112rr1,"My (13F) mother (40F) has recently decided to have a healthier lifestyle, which i have no problem with. But what i do have a problem with is that shes trying to get me involved. Her excuse is that I’m always complaining abt stretch marks.She has assumed that these stretch marks are on my stomach because ive been getting fatter, but theyre only in the areas where you would expect them during puberty.In the mornings, my mum and sister (6) go on a 20-min walk while i stay home to put the dryer on, wash breakfast items, make lunches and put them in our schoolbags. Today, my mum wouldn't let me do that and told me to walk with them.I didnt see why i had to do that as i have to walk 2.5 miles to get to the bus stop anyway, so i already walk plenty.I went on the walk, but there was only 5 minutes left before i had to get going for the bus stop by the time we got home. I also noticed that my sisters lunch had already been made and her breakfast things had been washed up.My mum asked if i wanted her to make my lunch, but i said no thanks and id make myself a sandwich. A minute later, i go to the kitchen to get my phone and to make my sandwich and i see my mum microwaving some soup for me.I told her that i wouldnt be able to eat that as I’d lost the container for it, and it would melt any of our other containers. She then proceeds to yell at ME because “why would you ask me to make this for you then?!”I didnt ask her to make it. We argued for a while before she left for work and to take my sister to school. I didnt have time to make anything and i couldnt take the soup because i didnt have the container, so i just had to leave. I almost mussed the bus, but luckily i didnt.Was i the asshole?",AITA for not taking a lunch to school after what my mum did?,NTA
110w0p9,"I (25 f) have a lot of health issues and have a service dog for them who was thankfully approved to be at work with me. In December I was placed on a new muscle relaxer and was told it was safe to take with all my medications by both my doctor and pharmacist. My doctor did say that for the first month or so to take it at bed time/when I’m staying home to get used to it. I’ve finally adapted to it, and due to needing back surgery I am now in a back brace. Today at work my back was seizing up and my head was killing me so I took both my pain medication and muscle relaxer together. 15-20 minutes later my service dog alerted to a seizure. I messaged my manager and stepped out. It lasted 15 minutes and I decided I shouldn’t drive home. My manager had already offered for me to go home so I called my parents. They got pissed at me and I’m just wondering if I should have stayed at work and driven home myself.",AITA for calling to pick me up from work after a seizure?,NTA
110zete,"Me (28F) and my husband (29M) has been married for 1 year now, dated for 2 years. We’re from the southeast asia. I've known my SIL ever since I started dating his brother. We would talk but just don’t really vibe with her so most of the times I wouldn't interact much with her.Reason is I think she's too spoiled. She's 25, she can't go to the banks, doctors, laundry or groceries by herself. Whenever she got some things to settle, their mom (F60) that lives 2 hour drives away from her college will always come to drive her around. She has driving license, but mom said she's too young to drive & get a job. She would carry around their mom's credit card. Whenever we'll go out for family dinner, SIL will be the last to get ready yet she always smells (which i don’t understand how) & I'm not that sensitive to body odor (I often spent my time at the gym) but I can't stand her body odor. One time she demanded my husband to give her allowance money, my husb explained that he can't afford it since he have rent & bills to pay, she throws tantrum for weeks until their mom decided to increase her allowance.  She would sometimes demand to sleep in the same bed with me & my husband or she should live with us after college, but their father never let that happen (thank god). The day before my engagement ceremony, my husb was in charge to collect our desserts & he needs to be fast before those melts. Her sister suddenly called saying she has emergency & asked my husb to come immediately, it was 1 hour drive away. My husb went for her safety reason, turns out the emergency situation was her friend didn't reply her text & she just miss him since he haven't been giving her ""enough attention"" cus he's busy with our ceremony, the only way she could get it by this way (emergency call). When my husb arrive at our venue, all the dessert melted and practically ruined.Whenever we would visit her, she should jump around my husb while ""hug me! kiss me! hug! hug! hug!"" like a 5 years old which annoys me sometimes. One time she called me, saying she hates her family for buying her the phone that SHE CHOOSE, it turns out the phone doesn't have some features she wanted. I asked her if she could afford to buy a new one, I'll help her to do some research on the features, but she said she can't & its her family's responsibilities to buy her a new one. I ended the call immediately cus I can't tolerate shit. I'm close with my husband's cousins, we would always spend time together for picnics & stuff, & also from them I understand that my SIL was always a problem for them also, they just decided not to interact with her cus no good feeling comes from her. She’ll get jealous if I go out with their cousins but not with her, she’ll keep calling me & if I didn’t answer, she’ll call my husb to try to get me to spend time with her & if it failed, she’ll get their mom to call my husb. Often I would go with a heavy heart since I don’t see value for a force relationship.",AITA for ignoring my sister in law ?,NTA
110vfj2,"For context I (M24) and my friend F(23) were at a party. She’s a very pretty woman, and the way she was dressed/had her hair style she looked like Lucy Liu. Let’s call her J. She didn’t seem uncomfortable by this, but one of her friends pulled me to one side later that evening and said I was super racist for what I had said. I apologised to J immediately. Her and her friends didn’t talk to me for the rest of the evening.  AITA here?(Edited for grammar) EDIT TO ADD FURTHER CONTEXT: I have been rewatching elementary, and I made this comment because her outfit and the way she had styled her hair reminded me of Lucy in one of the episodes. J is Chinese, we have been friends for some time. J is very proud of her heritage and I have been very interested in going along with her.",AITA for saying my Asian friend looked like an Asian celebrity?,YTA
110wy1q,"WIBTA if I don’t attend my best friend’s weddingFor quick context, I (26m) have a best friend (27F) who we will call Patti. Patti and I have been friends for about 11ish years and we have a very platonic relationship. We met in high school and we were there for each other during some of the toughest years of our lives and she even helped me when I was at my lowest. She is a very close friend of, basically is my family and was there to support me when I came out and had to face some harsh realities from my family and helped my get through a toxic relationship with an ex boyfriend of mine. She is currently engaged and is set to move away to be with her fiancé and they will be married later this year (he lives in another state). Here is my issue, they have been dating for two years and I have never met him. Not just me but a few of our mutual friends and her outer family (cousins, aunts, uncles) have never met him and only hear about him. He has been out to visit many times but never as long as he has her visit him, and he has never taken the time to meet any of us, all of us live in the same valley for the most part and meeting us when he was down here. I asked around and the rest of our mutual friends have never met or talked to him and he never tried to reach out through any of our socials which he has access to a few of ours. Even a mutual friend who is practically Patti’s little sister (Patti seen her grow up and loves her dearly) has never from him or heard much about him. The stories she has told me of him are not the best and I have tried to have a conversation with him for 2 years and he l doesn’t respond. She says “it’s because he is super busy with work” but I pointed out “if he wanted to have a conversation with me or any of your friends he would have taken a few seconds to say hi” meanwhile she has tried to play with his friends who have left her feeling excluded a few times from what she tells me. I know we don’t have to be pals but she is like my little sister and I figured you can be cordial with your best friend’s SO. Now I am being told we all will quickly meet him before she leaves one time and the next time may be at the wedding. I am unsure about their relationship, I have expressed my concern to her as have others but it’s usually “he is just so tired” or “he just gets distracted” but again 2years. I know she wants me there but I am unsure if I can support her in this. Part of me also worries she is using this to escape her life here. (Her parents are vocal on their opinion of her life). She also didn’t tell us she was engaged, he told the chat we were in days after she returned from seeing him which was a red flag when asked and she said “oh I just forgot, didn’t know he’ll post it” I am highly aware of the effect this will have on our friendship hence is why before I ask I want to know if my reaction is dramatic or if I do have some right to be concerned?So would I be an a-hole if I don’t go to her wedding?",WIBTA If I don’t attend my best friend’s wedding,YWBTA
1111imd,"My husbands cousin and daughter are staying with us now. It's been a month so far. We have 2 daughters, 1 sleeps with us(co-slept since she was 3m and it's worked for us since and she's now 3yr)  and the other sleeps in her crib (she's 1yr and has been pretty independent for bed since day 1).  We have a 3 bedroom house, the agreement was the cousin gets my 1yr old room and my 1 yr old will sleep in her sister's room which I have a toddler bed in there because we were trying to sleep train my 3 yr old but now we can't, and we have my 1 yr old crib in there. Now my issue is, ever since the first night they stayed with us the cousins daughter wakes up my daughter in the middle of the night sometimes once or 2 times but the cousin usually tries to put my 1yr old back to bed and doesn't wake us up which is nice of her. I started a new job working from home at 8a which is not an issue but I stay up late with my daughter just so the cousins daughter can go to sleep first because she wakes up crying. Now my daughter will wake up in the night sometimes especially when a tooth is about to come through or if she's sick but she will normally sleep through the night no problem. But my thing is, why are we catering to the cousin and daughter if they said they'll have sleep arrangements figured out by the time they move with us (temp move). I stay up till 10-11p with my daughter just so her daughter can go to sleep first, my daughter was on her own sleep schedule before they moved in and now it's out of wack. I'm tired because I don't get much sleep. My 1 yr daughter no matter what wakes up every day by 8a which then she gets cranky if she doesn't get her sleep. How am I even suppose to handle this without being an total butthead. Like really aita for telling my husband 1 more week and I'm going to talk to your cousin since he hasn't? I don't think it's fair that my daughter and I have to sacrifice our sleep for someone else. A few times actually,  I've slept on the living room floor right next to the futon where my daughter slept. I just need to know AITA...or is this reasonable",AITA for wanting my daughter to sleep in her own bed in her room alone,NTA
1111iav,"All the names even my dogs will be fake for privacy I walk my dog every Saturday at the same park and recently a little boy who I'm going to call Jack had been tormenting me and my dog on our walk by trying to steal the lead from my hands and take of Bella's collar or demanding that I let him pat her, I don't have any problem letting kids pat my dog but they need to ask for their own safety and for mine and no my dog is not a service dog or a registered emotional pet shes just a very very important dog to me The reason why I say for their safety and my own is because I need to make sure Bella is in a calm mood not a aggravated mood where she might scare someone and also Bella is very protective over me so if someone just tries to come up and steal her from me she will attack them and I don't want that and I don't think the kid or the parent wants that either The Saturday that just passed  when I was walking Bella that's when the problem became bigger, Jack his sister who I'm going to call Diana and their parents were at the park and I was going to talk to the parents about Jack's behaviour and that's when Diana snuck up behind me and grabbed my dogs tail making Bella turn around and pull back pulling me to the ground with her while Diana was laughing.That was the last straw.I got up and checked on Bella while my brother Conner joined us and my best friend Jayden recorded it all, Jack and Diana demanded that I let them pat Bella and I stood in-between them and yelled at them for being little shits and their parents were about to go defend them but Conner got in-between them and started going crazy on them for not teaching their kids respect and responsibilityI mean they're children I know that and kids make mistakes but their parents were complete idiots and didn't even teach them how to ask for things it was just demand demand demand, I've met 4 year Olds with more manners Jack and Diana ran to their parents and they walked off cussing us out calling us assholes and practically every name in the book I know I shouldn't of yelled at the kids but I just got so angry and I really hope those parents have taught them some manners before I see them again",AITA for yelling at two kids for tormenting my dog and I,NTA
110lmp0,"My girlfriend is upset again, so this time I thought I'd ask for advice from you all. I'll keep it short and sweet. We like going for bike rides: see the scenery, chat with eachother. We live in a rural area, so often, we get to bike next to each other without issues.Sometimes I get behind. Imagine my front wheel is about a meter behind hers. It's not that I can't keep up, it just happens that I'm steadily a meter behind. When that happens, my girlfriend slows down. I slow down too, since she's setting the pace between us. She'll ask me if everything is alright, why I'm behind, etc. To be honest, that's kind of annoying since it's hard to hear her with the wind in my ears. Clearly I'm fine, what could be wrong,  I'm just biking. She then usually asks me to bike besides her, which I try to do for a while.Now this weekend this happened again and my girlfriend started slowing down, looking behind her. I slowed down too. She slowed down more. So did I. Until we came to a full stop and just stood there for a while. She seemed incredibly annoyed with me, called me an asshole and was short with me the rest of the day.I don't think I'm an asshole, I'm just doing what she does. I think she's an asshole for making a problem when there isn't one. She knows by now that I just get behind a bit.What do you think? AITA?Edit: I spoke to her briefly. She's still upset, way more upset than warranted if you ask me. She told me to stop being such a passive toddler and start being a partner, and when I pointed out that she's overreacting to this situation, she said it's about more than that. The thing is, I do not have any issues biking like this. And aside from her outbursts, I like our relationship. So I think this is her issue to tackle and she's blowing it out of proportion to make it my issue as well. Also, I see mixed judgements. The ones calling me the asshole seem to think I'm falling behind on purpose, which I don't do. I just don't catch up with her after it happens. Again, I don't have an issue with this. I was just checking if I'm overlooking something since she's reacting so intensely.Edit 2:I see a lot of asshole judgements now, I accept that you feel that way. But I just want to clarify: I'm not being passive aggressive or have malicious intent. I'm enjoying myself while biking and let her take the lead. Most of you take issue with that. My girlfriend apparently does too. I do not. So to me this just feels like a stalemate. And I think I'm okay with that.",AITA for riding my bicycle slowly when my gf does?,YTA
110snub,"My family has a membership at our local fitness center that has an aquatics area complete with a pool, hot tub, sauna, and steam room. This is a community center where everyone pays membership fees. Myself, my SO, our baby, and my stepdaughter went to use the pool during family rec time. After swimming for awhile, I took our baby out of the pool to warm up while my SO and stepdaughter hung out. The hot tub has a 10-minute timer for the jets, and there’s a button on the wall people hit to activate the jets. As I was walking over to the hot tub, I noticed the jets kicked off. One person had just gotten out and left, and there was one guy (“AM” - Angry Man) still in the tub. Without saying anything, I just hit the jet button and sat down at the edge of the tub to soak my legs and hold my baby on my lap.A few minutes later, AM gets out and goes to the lifeguard where I can see him making gestures and looking my way. I didn’t think much of it at the time, and he proceeded to get on his phone for a bit, then eventually got back in the tub where there were now several other people. At this point, a different guy turned the jets on, but AM doesn’t do or say anything. The rest of my family came over and got in the hot tub. Just then, the jets stop and another guy tells his son to hop out and hit the jet button. AM speaks up and says, Hey bud, can you leave them off? I’ve been trying to soak my shoulder, and someone just came over earlier and took it upon themselves to turn the jets on,” where I can obviously hear him. I looked at my SO and said, “I guess that’s directed at me.” AM never spoke to me, and this has been bothering me for 2 weeks because it was so unnecessarily passive aggressive. It’s very common for people to hit the button without asking anyone else, and I think it’s usually seen as a courtesy so that the people in the tub don’t have to get out to turn it on. So, AITA for not asking this guy if I could turn on the jets in the hot tub? Maybe I was being inconsiderate when I thought I was doing him a solid?",AITA for turning the hot tub jets on at the fitness center?,NTA
1113131,"I (M28) have been in a long-distance relationship with my girlfriend (F28) for two years. She has a friend (F36), let’s call her Sally, who recently left her husband of 10 years and is going through a wild phase. Sally is known for partying and having multiple FWBs who aren’t any different from her. I don't trust her and I worry about her influencing my GF to do something stupid. Recently, my girlfriend was planning to spend a day at a spa with a friend (F36), let's call her Sally, who recently left her husband of 10 years and is going through a wild phase. Sally is known for partying and having multiple FWBs who are not much different from her. Some of these men have even tried flirting with my GF when Sally invited them over. So I have reason to believe that Sally may not have my girlfriend's best interests at heart and I worry about her potentially leading my girlfriend into dangerous or harmful situations.Before my girlfriend went out, we had a disagreement and I asked her not to go. I expressed my concerns about her spending time with Sally and the potential dangers that may arise from that. Please note that I normally do not have issues with her hanging out with friends at all, this is the first time I asked her not to go because of how Sally has become recently. However, my girlfriend got even angrier and threatened to turn off her phone. She then lied to me about Sally inviting four other guys and stopped replying or answering my calls. Given the situation, I felt that it was necessary to intervene and reach out to Sally to stop inviting my girlfriend out.My GF ended up not going and we didn’t break up but as a result, my girlfriend and I have been at odds and she's been mad at me ever since. I feel like I made the right decision because I don't want her to be around negative influences, but I also know that I interfered with her social life and ruined her friendship with her friends.I'm not sure if I was wrong for what I did. I don't want to control her, but I also want to protect her. Was I wrong for messaging Sally and interfering with my girlfriend's social life?AITA?",AITA for Asking My Girlfriend's Hoe Friends to Stop Inviting Her Out,YTA
110osme,"I was walking my puppy today in my neighborhood.* My puppy is tiny at about 5 lb and is very friendly.* I always pull my puppy away from strangers unless they ask me to pet her.* I was on quiet residential street.* The street only has a sidewalk on one side.* The sidewalk is quite narrow. Maybe two person can barely stand side by side. I was quickly catching up to an old lady walking slowly in front of me. To be fair, I am a relatively fast walker, and I wasn't really thinking about the old lay in front of me because I was paying attention to the puppy in case she does something stupid like eat something bad or run towards moving car.Suddenly, the old lady murmured something, so I asked, ""Sorry, did you say something?""She proceeded to complain about why I was following her and staying so close to her. I was holding my leash short to stop my puppy catching up to her (she loves people petting her), and at one point, my puppy was maybe at about 4 feet behind her.I was grumpy today, so I rudely said i am just going this way, and I was not following you. To this, she replied that she doesn't understand why i am following her. I was pretty upset at this point. I was minding my own business, walking slowly behind her to keep to her pace and annoyed at her complaining to me.So, with a bit of profanity, I said, ""Do you want me to walk my puppy on the main road with cars passing by?"" And she proceeded to say I am rude and murmured and crossed the road to the other side.If I was walking by myself, I would just walk to the other side and walk on the main road by pass her. But I was walking 5lb puppy, so I did not feel comfortable walking to the main road even though it was pretty quiet.",AITA for walking within 6 feet behind old lady?,YTA
110v8nb,"My partner and I are getting married this summer after 10 years of dating. My sister is maid of honor.About 1 1/2 years ago my sister started dating this guy. They got really serious really fast, and she completely lost her identity in who he was. He also takes advantage of her financially. After they had been in a relationship for about 6 months, I brought up my concern with him in a passing thought with my sister, and it sparked a huge fight. Over the course of a few months, the boyfriend was involved in the fight and the two of them spent the entire time ganging up on me, icing me out of my own family events, etc. I wouldn’t get invited to my sisters events because my presence upset her new boyfriend. The boyfriend would also listen in on our calls and read our texts when we were arguing about it. This period of time completely destroyed my relationship with my sister, and things haven’t been the same since.We are about to send out invites for our wedding and I told my mom I do not want him there. I will obviously invite my sister, but not some boyfriend who bullied me for months. My mom says that a wedding is about the guests, and my sister is the Maid of Honor and it would be rude to not invite him. She tried rationalizing that my partner is always invited places along with me, even though she’s never treated any family members poorly. I tried explaining that this day is also about myself and my partner and we don’t want anyone there who hasn’t been supportive/kind. Mom says I will just cause problems and that i need to think about my sister and he needs to be invited. AITA for putting my foot down and saying no?EDIT: I asked her to be my MOH before things went downhill. I didn’t want to revoke that because I still wanted her to be part of it.",AITA for not wanting to invite my sisters boyfriend to my wedding?,NTA
110up35,"Throwaway because some of my friends have redditSo I (21F) have a group of friends i generally hang out with at my school. One of my friends, let's call her Jen (20F), is a moderately concervative Christian girl, and she grew up a bit sheltered. If her parents couldve afforded Christian school, they wouldve sent her there. She doesn't drink at all, she doesn't go to parties, she hardly even *swears*, and when she does, it's stull PG-13 language she uses. She even has a promise ring with ""One Life, One Love"" on it, so you get the drift. She still hangs with us and we get along even though our lifestyles are very different.Jen is nice and all, but she does tend to embarrass me a lot. Like when we go to a bar, she just sits there and whenever someone offers her a drink, she refuses, so people start looking at me like ""why is she even here...?"" She acts happy but its obvious she's uncomfortable, but she stays i guess to hang with us. She also likes to post her religious stuff on her social media, which is fine, but sometimes im seriously over it.There's other times where I feel like people are probably questioning why I'm even friends with Jen because we don't look like we have anything in common, also becayse of her concervative values being so obvious. So for one of our friends birthdays, we wanted to take him out to a bar because he was turning 21, so our entire friend group was invited. and i honestly didnt feel like having Jen just sitting there drinking an iced tea or water or whatever while everyone else is having a good time. She talks and laughs and everything, but its still a bit embarrassing. Some of Birthday Boy's friends who didnt know Jen were coming too. Shes usually teh DD too, but we had already assigned a DD. To avoid hurting her feelings, I told her the celebration was cancelled and that our group would meet up later. She texted me back saying, ""cool, I wasn't up to going anyway"", so i figured we were fine, since she didn't evne want to go. I also knew she would see it on social media, so at the bar, i avoided getting in the pictures, and i asked my friends not to share pictures with me in it.One of them clearly forgot, since the next day, Jen blows up my texts asking why i lied to her and sending me screenshots of the post she saw. I asked her why she cared because she said she didn't even want to go, and she's like ""you shouldn't have lied to me anyway, I wanted to celebrate Birthday Boys bday"" and then ignored me when i tried to explain. My other friends also texted me and called me an AH for lying to them and to Jen, and they said i should apologize. I really thought that her not wanting to go would avoid all that, and like i said, shes obviously uncomfortable.I'm having a hard time figuring out if I really am the AH in all this, or if Jen is just overreacting when she didn't even want to go. So Reddit, AITA?",AITA for uninviting my Christian friend to a birthday?,YTA
1110p3l,"A bit of background, my sister and I didn’t grow up with each other. She is technically my stepsister, and my parents split when we were YOUNG. They recently got back together, and my stepsister and I still don’t interact with each other. I say this because we are essentially strangers connected through our mom. I know her name, and whatever my mom tells me. I’ve only seen her three times in over a decade, so while she’s family, it’s not right knit.My family touts this thing about “you don’t owe family”. Except… apparently my brother “owes my dad 1300 dollars”, I am “paid up”, I bought this bed from my dad, and now I’m trying to sell it. I’m only selling it because I’m moving a few provinces away, and can only pack whatever fits in my car. Im fleeing an abusive relationship, and every dollar I have is going towards this.My mom wants me to give my sister my bed. I told her I could sell it for much lower than I’m selling it now, but again, every dollar counts, and I really need the gas money. She’s ignoring me now… WIBTA if I held firm in this hill?",WIBTA if I sold my bed to my sister?,NTA
1110n5t,"Background 1: My husband secretly met another woman ~2X a year for four years and complained about me to her while pretending to me that everything was fine.  There was no romance, but he shared a lot with her that he didn't share with me, and she encouraged him to lie to me. I gave him another chance and we are supposed to be reconciling now.Background 2: My husband is Japanese and I'm American.  Every year we rotate between American and Japanese-style Valentine's.  With Japanese style, the woman gives the man chocolates, which he reciprocates on White Day a month later.Background 3: My husband is often passive and I am often labelled as controlling.  Recently I told him I will no longer make requests of him (re: housework, planning dates, etc.) and allow him to make all his own decisions.Usually, I bring up Valentine's Day a few weeks in advance and we discuss how we will do it that year.  We often can't remember what we did last year, so we have to discuss it.  This year, to let him make his own decisions, I bought him chocolate and I let him deal with whether he wants to do it on his own.Three days before Valentine's Day, he asks me which way we are doing it this year.  I say it's up to him.  He seems to remember doing it American style last year, so he wants to do Japanese style this year.  I say okay.The next day, I remember that we actually did Japanese style this year.  I tell him so.  He asks me what I would like to do then.  I say it's up to him.  He chooses Japanese style.  When I ask him why, he says there is no particular reason and he didn't think about it much.I got upset because it seems like he made the decision based on what is easiest for him rather than considering what I would like.  As I am American and we did Japanese style last year, I would have liked to receive something.  He says I shouldn't get upset because he would have done it American style if I had told him I want that.  However, I think he should have come to that conclusion on his own.At first, I tried not to say anything since I didn't want to control his choice.  However, he could tell I was upset so he asked me what was wrong.  When I told him, he argued with me about it.  Then we got in a big fight where I basically said he is insensitive and he said I am overly sensitive.AITA?ETA: For me, it's not just about Valentine's Day.  It's about the lack of effort, especially after an emotional affair.",AITA for telling my husband he is insensitive for not wanting to get me a Valentine's Day gift?,YTA
1111jv1,"So, I was meeting up with two friends (one I have known for a very long time (A) and another I have just recently become friends with (B). We met up at the mall and were kind of just looking around at shops. We passed a generic store that sold stuff like graphic tees and other merchandise, as well as snacks and drinks. We decided to go in and after a few minutes of looking friend B saw a snack she wanted to try. I think she had brought around 30$ and I brought $90.I had already bought a few things in other stores and felt comfortable counting my change in front of both friends to see if I had enough remaining cash. I had more than enough. friend A made a comment about how I was ""rich"" as a joke. Friend B added that I should pay for her snack. I laughed, but then she added that it would be a really nice thing to do because ""she didn't have as much money as me.""I felt like I was caught in a corner because first. I didn't want to upset friend B (she has a history of ""standing her ground"" in a way and fighting for her side) and second, because I didn't want to come off as rude to friend b in front of friend A. But why should I have to pay for friend B's snack? Simply because I have more money than her? I should have just let it go because it wasn't super expensive for a snack. But I don't want her thinking that I can just let her do that kind of stuff to me or that I take that kind of behavior. I told her no and that she has enough money to pay for herself, and she kept begging about how ""it's just this one thing"" and that it ""wasn't a big deal,"" but I could not put up with it anymore. I ignored her as I payed for my own things and walked out of the store. The last hour became a little awkward between friend B and I, and we haven't talked much since. Friend A pulled me aside after friend B left and told me that I should have just payed for it and that I could have just made her pay me back later. I understand both sides, and I'm torn. Am I the Asshole?",AITA for not paying for my friend's item when she had the money to do it herself?,NTA
110y26v,"Everytime my mom and I get into an argument no matter how nig or small, she always threatens to kick me out of the house. I am 17 and I am already going to be going to college in August. This has been going on for almost a year and I turn 18 in one month. I usually just stand there and take it but today I felt she went too far with it. She started to attack my personality flaws, and I completely lost it on her. I told her that she made me feel like shit every time she yelled at me and how she always found a way to blame something on my even if I am not in the wrong. I told her that when I turn 18, I will find a place, move out, and never talk to her again if thats what makes her happy. Am I the asshole?",AITA for losing any care towards my moms threats?,NTA
1112lh0,"Hey, I’m F18, and a couple weeks ago my childhood friend (Let’s call her ‘C’) and I each bought $1600 round trip tickets to Germany.I admit, when deciding to commit to the trip, I got overly excited thinking about all the new things I’d get to experience. Also, C went to college for a semester in Germany and knows the area well so would be my tourguide. I knew she was a bit pushy and spoiled, but I didn’t realize how bad it was until we started planning our trip together.She told me to change my flight tickets two times. The first was because she wanted me to switch to an aisle seat so that it’d discourage anyone from taking the middle seat. I told her that was fine, but that since she was the one who wanted me to change seats, she’d need to tell me the exact seat # she wanted me to switch to so that I could call into customer service and change it, but she wasn’t able to put 2min of effort in to look it up, until I nagged her a bunch. A few weeks after that, she told me that “I” picked the exit aisle so we had to change it again.Sometimes, I feel like she treats me like her parents. To explain, a couple years ago, C had depression/anxiety, so her parents pandered to her a lot and they still spoil her. They will drop everything for her. One time, her mom was out at lunch with some friends, but C wanted some yarn at the back of the house so she could crochet. Her mom left the lunch early to get it for her. Another time, her parents cancelled their dentist appointment so C could take the car to go to the gym that day. They also get her anything she wants.I feel like she treats me the same way because whenever she wants to hangout w me, she wants me to drop everything and come over right away. Also she’s not very nice to be around because she complains all the time and wants everything done her way, right away. Im not sure if I can survive a Germany trip with her TBH, there’s going to be a fight at least once during those 10 days! I don’t think I can take being with her 24/7.Anyway, today my parents sat me down and told me they don’t feel comfortable with me going to Germany with C because they don’t trust her. They think she may go off with a boy when we go clubbing/bar and leave me stranded, and she hangs around her flatmates who do various drugs. They want me to cancel the trip.The problem is, the ticket is nonrefundable, and C would be FURIOUS asking me “why isn’t your mom comfortable with you going with me? what did u tell ur mom?!” Etc etc. I might lose one of my only childhood friends.Her family is well off so the lost $1600 wouldn’t hurt them and they could repurpose that ticket for a different trip, but I’d just feel generally shitty for telling her after we bought the ticket. Id want to use my ticket to go on a trip with some different friends tbh, which would be a huge slap on the face to C.WIBTA? Should I just suck it up and go on the trip with her even if I know it won’t be very fun?",WIBTA if I dropped out on a $1600 Germany plane ticket with my friend?,NTA
110q6zh,"My friend accused me of wanting to go to Thailand to sleep with prostitutes but before I get to that I have to explain the motivation behind going to Thailand:*My friends and I are thinking about doing a trip to Asia since none of us have been. The three friends (20's M) that I am going with are all white. I am middle eastern, and my skin tone is darker. We were talking about going to Japan or Korea because we saw some cool hotspots online that we would want to visit. We also want to go clubbing and partying as well. We know that in Japan that it is so safe that you can just pass out on the street if you get too drunk, which would make a fun vacation story haha.**A recent problem I found with our plans is that a lot of clubs in Japan and Korea will not let in people with a darker skin tone. I found this out by seeing some videos online of Indians trying to get into club in Korea and getting rejected. I talked to my chinese roommate who has traveled and then I also did some research online. It seems like I might get rejected from some of the party spots.* *I told my friends about this and they all decided that they would like to go somewhere with less colorism so I can join in on the fun. We decided that we could go to Thailand or Vietnam where there is much less discrimination. We googled online and it seems like Thailand is much more popular for tourism and partying so we chose Thailand.*I was hanging out with some other friends and one of them is Korean. She (mid 20's F) has traveled a lot so I asked her if she has been to Thailand and if she recommends any places to visit because me and my friends are going there. She immediately looks offended and says she's not surprised four guys want to go alone to Thailand. I asked what she meant and she told me she knows we are only going there to sleep with prostitutes. I was super surprised and said that is not the reason at all. She then asks why I chose Thailand out of all countries. I told her that I do not mean to generalize her culture at all but did tell her the truth on why we chose Thailand over other asian countries. She immediately calls me a racist a\*\*\*ole and says that Korea is not that bad at all. I wasn't trying to offend her but I did not want her to think I am just trying to sleep with prostitutes.TL;DR AITA for explaining that I am not going to Thailand because I want to sleep with prostitutes but because I might face discrimination in other asian countries?",AITA for defending myself about insinuations for why I want to visit Thailand?,NTA
110yehy,"I (16f) have friends my dad disapproves of. My friends are great people. They are nice, don’t do drugs, don’t have sexual partners, and are good students. My dad, however, says they are emotionally manipulative and are taking advantage of my love of gift-giving. Because of this, he has banned me from buying/making them anything. I don’t know where he got this idea from, as my friends are very nice people, but I don’t argue with him.Two days ago, my friends were talking about how lucky I was to have a partner during Valentine’s Day, and how nobody ever thinks of the single people. I felt bad for them, as I understand the pain of being single on Valentine’s Day, so I decided I would buy them each something unique and individual to them.Today, I told my dad I was gonna go shopping for clothes, and he said alright.Instead, I went shopping for my friends, and I ended up buying them ~$200 worth of treats and stuff I thought they would like.I brought this home, and tried to hide it in my room, but I failed and my dad ended up finding out. He got pissed and yelled at me for feeding my friend’s “narcissistic behavior”. He said I needed to grow up and stop being taken advantage of. I yelled back, saying that it was my money and my friends and that I can buy what I want for whoever I want.He went silent and stormed off. A couple hours later, he texted me saying that I was grounded, and I can’t go anywhere without someone else around until I leave my friends. I’m upset, as my friends are the only people I have at my school. I feel guilty though, as I never yell or lie or go behind my dad’s back.What should I do? AITA?",AITA for lying and buying stuff my dad doesn’t approve of?,YTA
1112c38,"I (18f) have been seeing this guy (19m) for a few weeks now and we really hit it off right away. He’s really sweet, it’s like out of a fairytale. For context, he still lives at home with his parents. This is totally fine since I do as well. I’ve been spending time with him a lot at his parents house, as my situation at home isn’t the best. His parents are very wealthy white people, and I’m an indigenous Hispanic. I’ve never experienced any issues with them, they’ve been cordial and nice to me every time I’ve interacted with them. Tonight, I went over to his parents place to watch the Super Bowl, and they had some friends over to watch with them as well. It was one couple, we can call Tyler and Charlotte. I was nice and cordial with them, they were fun and kind. At one point while watching the game, the husband, Tyler, turns to me and says “I have a question”. I assumed it would be about my work, as I told him what I did for work moments earlier and it usually raises a lot of questions (I’m a mortician). He looks at me and says “what’s your opinion on the leadership in this country? Can you even vote in this country?” I froze completely. Who asks that? To someone you just met? I gained my composure and said “it’s not something I discuss with people I just met”. I look for any distraction near me, I keep looking around for help and my boyfriend is trying to get him to stop. This man continues to snap his fingers at me, like you would for a dog, and says “you have to tell me”. A man I met. 30 minutes prior. I stood up, starting to get flustered. I saw my boyfriend grabbing my stuff for me, he sent me a text saying “We are leaving”. I said, “you will not speak to me like I am a dog. You asked a very personal question that is considered rude to ask, that I reserve the right to not answer.” He started saying something I can’t remember because all I could think about was how angry I was. I left without saying anything else. So, am I the asshole?",AITA for leaving the party early?,NTA
11116j4," My mom (F44) is always smoking at every chance she gets. I (M19) have told her several times that I don't support that vice, but I don't stop her from doing it either, (if she wants to do it, she knows the consequences).But I draw the lina at buying her cigarettes; I have always told her that if she wants to continue with her vice, she is responsible for buying them (I do the same with my dad, I never buy him beer). She hasn't taken much importance to that, until a few days ago. I was in a car with her, she parked in front of a store because I was going to buy a soda, she gave me money and said ""Buy me some cigarettes please."" Logically I just stared at her and told her ""I won't do it"" to which she replied ""Yes, if you'll do it"". I stood my ground and told her ""I'll just buy my soda"" and got out of the car. My mom got out of the car angrily, took the money and went to the store to buy cigarettes. I got in the car.When she got to the car, she became hysterical, telling me that she doesn't understand why I object if I do worse things (like always using my cell phone) and that I can never do her a favor (when this is a lie, I always buy her cookies, sodas, etc.). We didn't talk for the whole way home, but that got fixed, we never stayed angry for long.Even so, I can't stop thinking, sometimes it doesn't cost me anything, after all, if I don't do it, she will, but it's a matter of keeping my principles, so AITA?",AITA for not buying my mom cigarettes?,NTA
110gin2,"So my partner and his eldest daughter were playing the new Harry Potter game upstairs in the bedroom, I don’t mind this what so ever and I enjoy helping them play too. We did it the night before last too. But he’s mad at me because I was really tired last night and wanted an earlier night at 10pm so I said I want to go to bed now and he’s been mad at me all day today. The night before I asked them to turn it off around 11 or 11.30 I can’t remember and that was fine. He always goes to bed very late around 3am anyway. Apparently I’m in the wrong as I wanted the PlayStation in our room so we could all play together but I shouldn’t be allowed to boot them out when I want to go to bed and that I should go sleep in one of our children’s rooms (I have a 4year old and a 7year old with him too). Apparently he’s going to take the PlayStation downstairs today into the living room so they can play it later into the night which I’m fine with too. AITA?",AITA for booting out my partner and his eldest daughter,YTA
110npp0,"I (18F) recently came out to my best friend (18F) as bisexual. Though I wasn't sure she (let's call her Pam) was an ally, I felt safe sharing this with her and she told me she was proud of me. I had assumed she wouldn't tell anyone but just to be safe, I asked her to keep this to herself.   This is where the problem stemmed from. She was confused and started going on about how I don't have to hide myself or be ashamed of who I am. I let her know that though our country protects the lgbtq+ community, we're still discriminated against and my parents especially would not be able to accept me.  She said she didn't expect this from me. That I'm so carefree and bold so I should be able to own up to my real identity. That I couldn't expect her to keep quiet about it because she didn't think I was any different. And that I have to tell my parents sooner or later because they will have to accept me.   Desperate, I told her how difficult it was for me to come out to her and I would've never trusted her and told her about my sexuality had I known she wouldn't be willing to keep it to herself. After a moment of silence, she agreed to keep it to herself and I just said ""let's never talk about this again"" and that was that.   Few weeks later, Pam invited me and our mutual best friend (let's call her San) to dinner and we were having a good time when San suddenly said she was happy I felt safe coming out to Pam.  Pam had told San that I'm bisexual. Her reasoning being ""San is an ally.  You know that"". This ticked me off. I yelled at her for outing me even when I had explicitly asked her not to. I was furious at her for not respecting me and potentially endangering me.   The reason why I hadn't told San was because I'm not as comfortable with her as Pam. Even though San is an ally, she can be very outspoken about her support and while I love that she doesn't hesitate to support my community, I didn't want to end up on her insta where she loudly proclaims how proud she is of me (she's anything but subtle).   Pam told me she just wanted me to have another person who would always have my back. I told her it wasn't her place to decide who should have my back. I also went maybe a little too far and said ""being ignorant is just as bad as being homophobic if you're this comfortable outing your friends to anyone"".   Dinner was awkward and I left Pam's house with San, feeling down and frustrated. On our way home, San told me she was sad I didn't trust her enough to know that she'd never hurt me.  I told her this had nothing to do with her. I would've told her some day but it wasn't Pam's place to tell her about it. While San agreed, she also said I was an asshole for blowing up at Pam even when I knew she was just trying to be helpful.  Pam hadn't said more than a goodbye when we left and seemed very sad and distant. I feel like I may have overreacted and acted like an asshole. I don't want this to strain our relationship. I know she meant well.",AITA for blowing up at my best friend?,NTA
110vt6q,"I (28) have been friends with this girl for for probably ~20 years. We were very close in high school but had a falling out and reconnected a few years into college. Ever since then, there’s been noticeable tension. She was supposed to get married in 2020 but due to the pandemic it was pushed to 2022. After she asked me to be in her wedding, we had a blow up fight but reconciled and then the pandemic happened and we progressively grew apart during the pandemic/she was a bridezilla and it got to the point where I didn’t want to be in her wedding anymore but still was. Since her wedding, we’ve definitely talked a lot less and she’s had a baby. We keep in touch mainly through a group chat, only occasionally 1:1. I got engaged this year and have been starting to do wedding planning. She asked me how it was going and we chatted a little about it. I knew her sister was getting married next year too so I asked when her wedding was planned so I could be aware as we selected a date. Fast forward and the venue and date I want is the same weekend as her siblings. The venue could be booked later in the year but we were hoping for this timeframe for our wedding. Am I the asshole if I still choose that weekend knowing full well it’s the same weekend as her siblings because I asked just recently?TLDR; am I the asshole for making my wedding the same weekend of my childhood friend’s siblings wedding?",AITA for booking my wedding the same weekend as my childhood friend’s siblings wedding?,NTA
110yajj,"T/A b/c I don’t know where this might end up (please don’t repost to FB)My partner (27m) and I (26f) have a 1 year old little together. I’m just sort of at the end of my rope and thought I’d get some outside voices b/c I feel crazy.Our situation is straightforward: he works full time (blue collar so it can be long hours and hard work, which I understand and do my best to show him I appreciate!) and I’m a SAHM. He does well for himself and is a really hard worker. As far as I’m aware, we’re stable and live what I would call comfortably.I am then left with the responsibility of our little and our home- which is fine with me! This past year I went back to school online to finish my degree so I can start my career and help provide financially by the time little is ready for school, so that’s definitely me adding to my own list of responsibilities, but I feel it’s important for the future of our family and can usually get by!My issue is times like these- I’m dealing with a sleep regression, teething, illness, it’s just a lot. Little is very attached to me, so times like this can make it especially difficult to get anything done besides making sure they’re taken care of and as happy as can be. But the sleep issue has been going on for two months straight and I’ll admit after bedtime I’m drained. Two nights ago I finally worked up the nerve to ask my partner if he could help (just clearing up after dinner and picking up toys laying around while I do bath and bedtime, which can take over 2 hours some days) He sounded annoyed and said that he doesn’t ask for/receive any help with our financials (so he shouldn’t have to help with the housework is what I knew he meant- this is not the first ‘discussion’ we’ve had abt this during hard times) He went on that all he wanted was for me to take care of our house and take good care of our little, and he was about to say something he’s said before about how I’m “asking him to do everything” before I had to walk away, just not having the emotional energy for what I knew it’d be. I was just asking him to pick up the table after dinner and the few toys that are in the living room. My pride really doesn’t want anything else- that alone would lift the weight coming out of an 1.5 hr long bedtime fight with little, with still more to do beyond that.I feel like he resents me for asking for help with anything, and that includes with little. Even I resent me for that, because I know he works hard. But I think I resent him too, watching him relax and play videos games for hrs at a time during the weekend, sleep in on his days off, and engage with his other hobbies instead of helping so we can ALL spend some time relaxing together.Just typing all this out I feel ungrateful because I do get to stay with my baby every day because he provides for us and I’m lucky for that, but I just feel so frustrated, burnt out, and shut down. AITA?",AITA for asking my working partner for help?,NTA
11127fc,"So me (29yo M) and my fiancé (25yo F) have been together for 5 years. During those 5 years she has cheated on me on several occasions. One with one of our mutual friends. She met this person (19yo M) a few days ago and was messaging and planned to hang out. She didn't tell me until the night before. Fast forward to that day, she went to work and was gone from 10am to 9pm. She worked 11-5p and didn't talk to me the entire day. When she came home she had a bag full of stuff saying they went to the mall, bought clothes and coffee. After a argument she admitted that this new friend bought her over $100 worth of items at the mall. I told her that I couldn't trust her being around this person after her telling me that she wanted to kiss them and possibly go back to theirs to do things. After the heated argument, I told her that what she did was went on a date with this person because I told her that I didn't feel comfortable with her hanging out with someone she just barely met the day before. To me it felt like a date because who meets someone and the next day buy them that much stuff? AITA for wanting her to not speak to this person ever again and return the stuff she got from them and then block them?",AITA for asking my fiancé to stop hanging out/talking with someone she just met?,NTA
110sz3x,"Before I begin, I would like to assure you that I am not breaking clergy-penitent privilege, as I am not an ordained minister. I am simply a person in religious authority, and the person in question did not speak to me in the context of a confessional. I am a person in a position of minor religious authority in a small town. I am displeased with the current state of said religious organization, and will likely leave due to the fallout of the actions I took to help the individual concerned. In my position, I counsel couples encountering marital difficulties. Divorce is highly frowned upon, even in cases where extreme justification exists, to the point of victim punishment by means of shunning and eventually exile by all members of the family. Recently, I was tasked with aiding a woman and man who encountered marital troubles. It became clear to me very quickly that this marriage should not have occurred, and that an extreme situation existed. After speaking to both parties, our counseling session ended. I spoke to the woman and advised her to divorce due to her husband's actions. God does not look in favor upon those who violate the vow they took to protect their spouse, and her husband has violated the sanctity of that vow. I am now receiving many communications from individuals displeased with my behavior, as the woman in question has left with her belongings and filed for legal divorce. The elder has stated he will not recognize the divorce, and the husband has expressed his displeasure at my counseling, despite his unwillingness to correct his own behavior. I would like to ask someone else who is not influenced by my community if I am in the wrong. Thank you for taking the time to read, and may God bless you all.",AITA for counseling divorce?,NTA
110v5lw,"I (33m) and my partner (36f) have been together 2.5 years. We live about 50mins drive apart but living In Sydney that’s not a huge distance for locals. I admit that She has done the majority of travel to me in our relation because she has a teenage daughter at home so it’s just better if we stay at mine more often. Last week my partner had breast surgery . It was a fairly major surgery and we expected her recovery pain to be pretty high. I asked her to come to my house to recover because I work full time and it’s only 20mins to my home from my work. She has insisted she would rather be in her own home because her home is more comfortable with her own bed, her familiar homely things around her, her friends live close by, and she has air conditioning (currently summer in Australia) and I don’t. I picked her up from hospital, took her to her home and stayed with her for the first night. The next day I went to work and took the keys to her building so I could let myself in after work because getting out of bed to answer the door would be difficult for her. I finished work at 5pm that day and the thing is, I am on a training program and the gym so the gym is very important to me. I knew she was alone from midday that day and she called me from bed telling me she couldn’t get out of bed and was stuck on her back because of the pain. She hadn’t been to the toilet in nearly 6 hours. Her friends couldn’t get into the building because it’s a security building and her daughter was at an event. I decided to go to the gym after work before going to help her. While I was at the gym she called to tell me her neighbour had managed to get into her home to help her out of bed. She was a bit embarrassed because she doesn’t know her neighbour very well and she had to get help in the toilet. When she heard I was at the gym she became pissed off. Her neighbour had just helped her so I can’t see what the problem is. The next night I was exhausted after work, she wanted me to come and stay with her again (I have an allergy that makes me tired when it flared up) so I just went home after and stayed at mine instead. She slept alone at her house and had to call a friend in the night to come and help her with the pain management.Now my girlfriend is hugely pissed off and thinks I have been no support. I told her it can’t be her way all the time and if she had just came to stay with me then I could have treated her like a queen. I also don’t see why her daughter hasn’t helped her more.Where she thinks I may be the asshole is because she thinks her recovery should be about what she wants, not what suits me. Where I may be the asshole is because I made my needs a priority over helping her after surgery.",AITA for expecting my girlfriend to be more flexible for me?,YTA
110ousg,"My (17 male) mum died almost 4 years ago due to cancer. My dad got remarried and she came to my house 4 days ago. My uncle on my mums side said that he and my other uncle and aunt will come to my house today at 7pm (to meet my dad's wife).My dad's cousins said they will come at 3pm (told my dad TODAY at 3pm) in 30 -45 mins. They came with their family at 3.15pm. For context I sleep in the front room and there is a backroom. They went into the backroom. I thought would be 1 hour like my dad said and he said they won't come in the front room. Half an hour later he come in saying that there is 15 people and they will use the front room to eat and I said no. He then came with fucking Styrofoam plates and plastic bowls and said it again and I said no. He left the Styrofoam stuff in the room and I put it outside the room. I took 5 minutes to process it and said OK they could use it since he said it would take half an hour of eating then they will go home. He said he will pay me 5 pounds for it. Four hours after they came, they finally left and my mums side of the family came. I went into the room and almost felt like crying. There was a smashed up rubix cube on the floor, charger unplugged, my table was pushed over, the eating mat on the floor with food still on it, my lip balms in a pile on the corner of the room and my pillow on the floor which I presume was used for someone's back. (I was cleaning my room for 7pm when my dad told me about using the room). My cousins were playing in the room and I took my pillow and blanket and went into the attic with my cousins wanting my cats. (One stuck behind the sofa in the backroom and one luckily escaped).I don't want to meet my uncles and there is probably no food left and I am starving. WIBTA? ETA: I have a migrane now and I'm keeping one of my cats safe from the cousins but I don't know about the other one behind the sofa",WIBTA for being annoyed and not meeting my relatives after my previous relatives destroyed my room?,NTA
110lsgd,"My wife is my lobster. We met 17 years ago and married two years later, we have two incredible and feral teenage daughters.I'm the romantic in our marriage. Our 10 year anniversary, I surprised her by flying her brides maids back to our town and held a vow renewal in the same place we got married, with the same photographer, officiant, flowers etc.  In the beginning, I would make flip book stories and wire art for her from stuff at work.  After we earned more I would start sending her away to visit her girlfriends and jewelry etc  I even surprised her with a Christmas trip to visit her best friend in England where she got to see her great grandmother for the first time in 30, years on her 100th birthday weeks before she passed away.I'm a hopeless romantic.  Raising two daughters and worshipping t.  It's always been important to me to show them how a partner deserves to be treated.  To never expect or settle for less than their worth.  My wife not so much, she loves me.  I know.  She just doesn't do romance .She's never done anything for Valentine's Day or anniversaries and even forgot my birthday once.  It never got to me. My daughter suggested i take a break from things and just do nothing for Valentine's Day since ""mom always said we don't need to be told when and how to love our partner"" So I got her a signed and personalized book from her favourite author and a hand crafted leather bookmark with her initials.  Well, she found out I'd no real plans and kind of blew up a bit.  Told me it was crappy to not do anything.I still got flowers, the book; bookmark and resos to her favourite restaurant. but for her to be mad is seriously out of right field.Am I the A-Hole here?TLDR; Wife is mad I'm not going all out on V-Day even though she doesn't do romance or special days.Edit* ok to head some things off.  My wife is incredibly attentive and giving.  Just not overtly romantic and is terrible at gift giving.  Doesn't mean she doesn't try.  She's also not ""spoiled"" sorry if I gave that impression, she's always super grateful and I love thinking about how to make her happy and doing little things for her.  That's not spoiling  her, it's consideration to and for her happiness.  Our 14 year old suggested a quiet night when I was struggling for ideas as the last 3 months have been insanely stressful with work, renos etc and my wife's best friend seconded it so I'm soliciting marital advice from our 14 year old.  This is also the first time she's asked if I'd made plans and told her no.  First time in 17 years so it probably came across as shocking to her and I'm worried I've possibly given her the wrong impression about not caring or that hers is possibly just an expectation response.  Hope that clears some stuff up",AITA For Doing Nothing on Valentine's Day,NTA
110rxlu,"My (27f) boyfriend ""BF"" (27m) and I have been together for a little over 2 years, and have been living together for most of that time. BF has always been close with his brother ''H"" (32m). They enjoy playing video games together and board games as well. We mostly host game nights at our place as we have a hugh board game collection and plenty of space for people. H has spent a lot of time at our place over the last 18 months, and most of the time that has been fine, but during an incident last year when playing games H accused me of cheating during a board game.Essentially, I accidentally flipped a card from my deck over too early in a coop game, immediately realised my mistake and put it back before I looked at it. H told me that I had cheated and needed to shuffle my deck. I was confused and told him I hadn't cheated and hadn't even looked at my card. It was 100% unintentional. H didn't care and kept insisting that I reshuffle my deck. When I said no, he started yelling at me about how I was ""ruining the mood"" and it was all my fault. He brought up other times when I'd made small mistakes with games (I once looked at a card too early in a game), making out like I was always intentionally cheating and ruining everything. When I have brought up the rules of games to people (including H) though on separate occasions, I have been told to not take it so seriously, or have been corrected.After he yelled at me the rest of the night was incredibly awkward and I kept getting up to check my phone/use the bathroom so I could try and keep my cool as I was on the verge of tears the whole time. Afterwards, my BF sent a message in our group chat mentioning that we needed to try and keep these events civil and friendly in the future. The next time we played everything was fine, but H never apologised or explained his outburst to me.We didn't say anything else at the time as we hoped it would just go away and that it was a once off event. Since then though I have noticed that H's attitude towards me has changed. He makes fun of everything I like (calls video games I like lame, jokes that House of the Dragon was a shit show when he knows I loved it), and as much as I have tried to fix the relationship it just seems like he's not interested, which is his choice.My BF finally messaged H and GF and explained how we felt and that he hoped they would treat me like family. GF read and responded, H left the message on read. At this point H was pretty much ignoring me completely and my BF. I then sent a letter addressed to them both, explaining how I felt and asked them to let me know if I had done anything to insult them or to cause them to dislike me. I also asked for an apology from H. I got a response from GF but again, H ignored me.I have tried putting effort into fixing the relationship but it is clear that he wants to put no effort in himself.WIBTA if I stopped inviting him over to our house until he at least acknowledged our messages or gives me an apology?",WIBTA if I stopped inviting my boyfriend's brother over until he acknowledges what happened?,NTA
110j9jy,"My (32m) wife (24f) and I live in the UK, and my wife is a ""SAHM"" (though we do not have any children, we are hoping to in the next few years). After lockdown ended, my wife didnt want to go back into school (previously she had wanted to do a masters degree, but didnt want to start online), as she reasoned it didnt make sense to pay for if she is just going to be a SAHM in a few years, she also didnt feel like re-joining the workforce for the same reason.I agreed on both fronts, as it wouldnt really be necessary for her to work, and it doesnt make sense to pay for a degree she wont use. I reasoned that I work a lot for my dad's company, and if she could take on the domestic chores (really just cleaning/tidying as we pretty much only eat out or have meals delivered --and we have a gardening team for grounds maintanence), then we were both working as a team.Recently she has been upset with the ammount of work that she has to do, because the house is quite old and stuff is always breaking and shes having difficulty keeping up with it. I am also messier than she is, and she is starting to resent 'cleaning up after me'. She suggested we hire a domestic servant to take on the cleaning, and some food buying/prep as it would reduce our eating-out/delivery costs. I was hesitant but when budgeted, it wouldnt really cost that much to have someone in 5 days a week, and if it makes her happier, I am OK with it.My issue though is everyone we have interviewed has been foreign, and I am concerned about their legal status working. I am concerned about illegally employing someone, particularly if they get hurt (trip and fall or something), and am concerned if they may live in conditions with persons without strong social bonds in the UK and pass out information about how to break-in to our house. After the interviews we have done (including through two different agencies), I feel like I want to reconsider. My wife sees this as me going back on my word, and is saying I am being racist (I dont care about the race, I just want the person to be a legal UK citizen or have right to work, and feel comfortable that they have an established network in the country). My wife has been giving me the silent treatment for the past week and has moved into a different bedroom. A close friend I brought it up with also called me an asshole, and a racist. Are my requirements unreasonable? The domestic servants we had growing up (live in) were an older british lady and her husband, I was kind of expecting the same. AITA?",AITA for not wanting a foreign servant (UK),YTA
110vx5s,"I am 30f and moved into my inlaws house in January. We did it to save money for ourselves and also help my fiance’s parents with bills. We pay 50% of the rent and pay for the internet. We also give them money for groceries. I have never cared to cook before because i work full time and have always lived on my own and done my own thing. I do not have kids either so have i feel my time off can be used for more “selfish” needs (sleeping, watching  tv in my room, hours of video games). I agreed to live by their rules which includes no alcohol , no dog, and keeping it kid friendly because theyre very christian and have an 8 year old daughter.My motherinlaw prepares meals a few nights a week which she was already doing for her family before. I make sure to clean the dishes and put leftovers away as a thank you. She’s started to make remarks about how she’s the only one cooking and how no one is volunteering without asking me directly to help out. I feel i shouldn’t be expected to do anything other then paying our share of bills and cleaning up after ourselves. She works part time from home while i work fulltime doing warehouse work so i completely refuse to do fall into “housewife” duty work. My fiance doesnt have expectations because he knows i work hard and don’t ask him to change my oil or any other “man” duties. Motherinlaw is obviously upset that im not cooking or spending all my free time “as a family”. Am i the asshole?",AITA for not meeting MIL expectations,YTA
110zjyp,"My wife and I live in an urban neighborhood and currently own five motor vehicles. Two are parked in a garage on our property. Two are always parked directly in from of our house. One vehicle that is driven almost daily is parked in various open spaces on our block. All vehicles are in good working order (no rust, damage, flat tires, etc.) and are driven on a weekly basis.Today a neighbor confronted me about the number of vehicles we currently own. The neighbor walked up to me and asked, ""What's the deal with all the cars? I replied. ""What do you mean?"" to which he said, ""Don't give me that. You know what I mean. Owning five cars is wrong!"" I explained. ""I don't believe owning five cars is inherently wrong but you're obviously angry. What can I do to fix whatever is upsetting you?""From there, the neighbor lectured me about how we leave our cars all over the block (see above about our parking of them). Despite me repeatedly asking what I could do to make him happy, he never articulated what I believe he was thinking, which was, ""Please don't park in front of my house."" After telling me multiple times that, ""Owning five cars is wrong,"" I calmed said that I would not tolerate him passing moral judgement on me, and was done with the conversation. I assured him that I would be mindful of not parking in front of his house in the future. This is a neighbor that we've always gotten along with for the 14 years we've lived in our house and they've never mentioned our vehicles being an issue before. We always try to be considerate when parking and often park the ""floating"" vehicle in front of neighbors' houses who we know park in their garages and not on the street. Parking is not at a premium on our street and spaces are plentiful.AITA for owning too many cars?",AITA for owning too many cars?,YTA
110j7fx,"I (13), went on a family hike with my mother (50F), father (43M) and sister (9F). It first started off pretty bad when my parents started arguing on the car ride to the place. I just kept my mouth shut and put on my headphones to block out the soundWhen we got there however, I still stayed quiet. I don't know why I do it, but I normally stay silent and/or have a hard time talking when I'm stressed or anxious.I walked behind my family most of the hike and just tried to stay out of things. My father noticed first and started to get annoyed with me. He started yelling at me about how it was meant to be a family trip and I wasn't making it that. He was annoyed at me staying quiet the entire trip and would get angry when I struggled to respondThen when my mother approached me after, she tried hugging me and I instinctively froze up because I thought she was gonna yell. She got pretty angry at it and yelled at me and told me I was part of the reason the hike went so wrongI feel like an absolute dick now for spoiling it.So Reddit, are my suspicions correct and AITA?",AITA for staying quiet on a family hike?,NTA
1111p37,"I (23m) live alone, besides my cat, up to today, now I own two cats (Important) My (25f) sister came over today.Edit smack dab here: she was coming over, WE ARE NOT ROOMMATESSister and I try to see eachother 1-3 times a month. But since I live alone, when it’s just her and I it’s usually my apartment or going out (if I come home it’s a whole family thing instead, we want 1-1 sibling time yakno?)Long story, I took in a 2nd cat, he was supposed to be here 3 days ago but the people who sadly had to hand him over into (imo one of the best cat dads) had issues so I got the new kitty literally 2 hours before my sister came.Immediately, she asked where the cat was so she could seem him (duh, who wouldnt want to see their bros new kitty) but I said, “I want him to hear your voice so he knows someone new is here, lets talk for 15 minutes then you can meet him, he’s in the other room”She says, “it’s fine,” as she walks towards the room he’s in.I say “no, lets talk, give it 15”She inches towards the door, I said no over and over. 5 times, slowly raising my voice. I never yelled, but heck I would have loved to, but I said in a firm and loud, on the fifth time “NO stop disrespecting my house and my rules” all I asked is 15 minutes by the 5th time she inched towards the door (not dramatic, baby steps towards the door as if she’s testing me).Cont/edit: (sorry I lag with too much text on reddit).I don’t understand how, even if it’s as ridiculous as any of you make it out to be that I didn’t just let her see him. Why did I have to say No 5 times over and tell her to leave? AITA here?",AITA for kicking my sister out of my apartment?,NTA
1111oxq,"From the title I kinda sound like an asshole-Anyways, I have this kid in my class with autism.(9th grade) let’s call him Jake(Not his real name!)During lessons several people in my class have seen him picking his boogers/nose. I have seen him do this as well. Jake touches his privates, then he touches people. For instance, the teachers.He enjoys farting (very loudly.) in the middle of class, often in a quiet environment.Multiple people have told stories of incidents they’ve had with him most of them of him shoving things into people’s hands, forcing them to take it even when they deny. I’ve had an experience with him as well, first week of school everyone is getting to know each other. He began to talk to me during a lesson, I politely told him I was busy and I would appreciate it if he would leave me to focus on my work. He persisted to try and talk to me even after class, following me through the halls. I had to run into the bathroom to get away from him.Everyone is too scared to complain to the principal or teachers partially because he has autism.",AITA for judging my autistic classmate because he does things that make everyone uncomfortable?,NTA
110tzvs,"Backstory here for you i F19 live in the UK. Me and my twin grew up close but started to get distant around 13 years old. I have a disability called cerebral palsy which means walking can get hard and I get tired easily. I also have depression and anxiety so I get tired from that too. My twin was a bit of a glass child she didn’t get as much attention as I did because of my disability. The reason why I want my identical twin to move out is because she started being verbally abusive towards me at age 13 and then began verbally abusing my mum at age 16. I tried telling her that maybe she should get some help for her anger but that only makes things worse. My twin who il call rose in this post calls me and our mum all sorts of names over any little thing such as asking her a question, running out of shampoo anything that is an inconvenience for her and it’s really getting to the point where I’m upset and don’t know what to do I myself can’t move out as I am dependent on my mother and me and my mum are best friends so am IATA for wanting my twin to move out?Edit: rose can switch she calls me and our mum names and then buys us presents to make up for her behaviour. Never an apology though she always excuses her behaviour saying she didn’t have to behave like that if there was shampoo or no one asked her a question",AITA for wanting my identical twin to move out,NTA
1110cl5,"I (28M) and my girlfriend (26F) do not live together but she works close to my house and has my keys.The other day I unexpectedly got a call from a contractor for some work on the exterior of the house I had been waiting months for. They had a last minute cancellation and could do my job the same day.I asked my gf if she could help me out by giving them access and also asked her to pick up and dispose the dog poop in my back yard from my 3 dogs.I had neglected doing this for a short while so there was more poop than expected and since she had come early from work she was in her work heels which are open sandals. She cleared the yard but ended up stepping in some poop with both shoes multiple times and it's really disgusting as it got both on the soles and inside.She wanted me to clean them for her when I got back home but I refused and suggested we throw them out and I buy her new shoes. But she liked that pair and didn't think she could find an equivalent. We got in a fight and she ended up cleaning them herself and leaving.AITA here, I was willing to buy her new shoes. I know I should have kept up with clearing the dog poop in the first place but the visit was unexpected.",AITA for not wanting to clean my girlfriend's shoes after she stepped in poop while doing me a favor.,YTA
1110cgy,"Went to a birthday party at a friend’s house the other night. Maybe 20 of us there. It was the host’s wife’s birthday but she is a part of our friend group also. We had agreed beforehand that we were ordering in Chinese food so we all picked off the menu and let the host know what we wanted. The host placed the order, picks it up and we enjoy our food. After we sing happy birthday, the host cuts and serves the cake he had purchased for his wife. The next day I text the host and ask how much I owe him for my meal. He replies X dollars including tip and $3 for the piece of birthday cake I had. Ummm wtf?? He then proceeds to explain the birthday cake he purchased was expensive as if that justifies charging us for it.",AITA for not wanting to pay for a piece of birthday cake at a house party?,NTA
110turf,"Little bit of a vent first but it gives you some idea of what’s going on Ok full context I love my mother as far as parents go she’s a great mum, however my mother is not the greatest example of “being an adult”.My dad her husband has been incredibly sick for the last 2 to3 years to the point where after multiple surgeries and doctor visits he will never be able to work again. Throughout this period of time I’ve been the only person who’s been working ( i work 40 hours a week and have a side hustle that I do for 6 )and have taken the spot of provider of the family(my family consists of myself (m24) two younger siblings 9 and 13 and both parents being 46 ) I pay for all the bills, food, school fees and mortgage and when I get home I take over looking after the children because she’s tired On top of all this because I. Only make around 2 grand a fortnight I’ve had to take a personal loan out Anyways money is and always has been really tight and recently I’ve been struggling both mentally and physically and have recently been diagnosed with my own medical problems. Now this is where it gets interesting I’ve talked about it with my mother and how it’s not viable to keep going the way we are and some things need to change to make it easier on all of us such as her getting a casual job to help out a little at this point she snapped at me and states that I am incredibly selfish and need to think about the needs of the family first and how she didn’t raise me to be like this and to get rid of my problems that I just need to 1work harder or2 get another job on top of what I’m doing among other things. At this point I turned around and told her straight that as far as adults go she is a terrible example of what an adult and overall person should be.    We haven’t talked since and she still hold her hand out for money so she can go to bingo 4 times a week as being at home all day is bad for her it’s been two months since  we had this argument and nothing has changed dad knows about all this and I sorry about what’s happed but there’s not much he can do… I feel like shit by body hurts my heart hurts and my mental health is in shambles I see every one I’ve known  succeeding and I’m going know where . All in all AITA?",AITA for telling my mother that she is a poor excuse for an adult?,NTA
110krgm,"Long story short- I had to move back in with my parents because the house I was living in was infested and the landlord was awful. When I left home I got a lot more comfortable with my sexuality, so going back felt like going back in the closet. Thankfully I just signed a lease to move in on the 19th and was on the phone with my friend about it. I thought I was home alone so I said “And I can finally have girls over again.” My dad cornered me later on and I realized what had happened. They went ballistic and yelled at me about sinning, being disappointed, etc. and my dad told me to get out his house. I’ve always been respectful of my parents but I went off and said they clearly don’t love me if this is all it takes to get kicked out. That made him even angrier and my mom completely broke down. He yelled at me more for upsetting my mom and it was a whole crap show. He tried to say it has nothing to do with their love for me, whatever. But seeing my mom cry hurt me, can’t lie.I packed what I could and left. My dog and I have been chilling at the dog park while I try to figure out where to go. I just put a deposit/first months rent down so I can’t afford a hotel for a whole week. My friends are back on the other side of the country. Stuff hit the fan so fast and I’m stressed about where to sleep/keep my dog while I’m at work, ontop of knowing I made my mom cry. I can’t get the image out of my head. Did I take it too far?",AITA for telling my parents they don’t really love me (bc I’m gay),NTA
110rwld,"Hi everyone,Here is the context : I have been working for 6 months in a biology laboratory, and until recently everything was going very well. This is my first job since I finished my studies, I have the chance to work in my field etc.I started working there at the same time as my former roommate ""Mary"". We were friends a few years ago, and then for various reasons the relationship deteriorated last year. So I decided to start talking to her again so that we could start working on a healthy basis, and she told me ""no problem, we will never be best friends but the relationship will remain professional"".Another thing is that I have a neurological disease that affects my bladder (in fact, from the moment I have an ""urge"" I only have 30 seconds to find a toilet). Mary is one of the few people who know because when I was her roommate I fell down the stairs and she noticed I was wearing a ""protection"" (diaper basically)...I was ashamed but she was really supportive at the time. But it didn't last.This is the problem. Since 1 month, we have to work closely. On my side I was really friendly, but immediately she started to make little reflections to make me feel uncomfortable about this secret she knows. 2 examples :\- During a fairly long team meeting, our manager announces a break. Mary says out loud (in front of other colleagues), ""it's about time, I really need to go to the bathroom...I don't have the same solutions as you!""No one reacted, but it made me uncomfortable that she mentioned the fact that I wear diapers out loud, even without naming it. I told her about it and she said, ""It's okay, it was just a joke"".\- A few days ago we are in the bus, and I have an ""emergency"". I usually manage to be very discreet about it, but here she saw me get up, find that the bathroom was inaccessible and probably blush a little...sorry for the details, but my bladder gave out and everytime it happens even if I know that I'm protected it shows on my face that I'm in pain. She looked at me hard and had a little laugh, before saying to herself but loud enough for me to hear ""seriously, that's just pathetic"".I now wake up every morning terrified that she will expose my problem in public, so much so that I am considering speaking out against her. She continues to pretend to be friendly, but it's always little comments like ""you're really brave, I imagine that in your situation you won't be able to date anyone until your problem is solved"". In short, false compassion to put pressure where it hurts.Every time I talk to her about it she tells me I'm paranoid. I can't take it anymore and I hesitate to talk about it to the hierarchy, even if it would mean revealing my disabilty to them. Would that be wrong/meanof me to do it?TL;DR : I have a disability and my colleague keeps embarrassing me about it. WIBTA for denouncing her attitude?",WIBTA for reporting my (23F) colleague/ex-roommate (24F) for harassment to my manager?,NTA
110yt0f,So about 5 years ago my S-I-L was out visiting when her 4 y/o son did some inappropriate things. After these things happened I called her out on it. She then proceeded to trash me on social media then block me. It has been a bone of contention for me ever since. My family has since moved on but now it’s an issue because my mother in law wants to move in with us(my family) but only if I will allow my S-I-L to visit once in a while. So am I the asshole for saying no I don’t want her around?,AITA for not wanting my S-I-L to visit?,NTA
110lx0u,My husband told me last night that him and his friend planned a trip to go to Arizona (a few hours drive from us) for a sports game and that if they don’t come back the same day they will come back the next day. We have a 9 month old and my husband and I have done almost nothing “fun” together since having our baby. But here he is planning a trip with his friend in a week. I know for a fact he wouldn’t be ok if I told him I was going on an overnight girls trip super last minute. I was annoyed with my husband because he asked me in front of his friend while I was occupied with our crying baby because he figured I’d say yes. When his friend left I asked him if he was being serious and he said he was and that he should be able to do things like this without my permission.AITA?,AITA for telling my husband I don’t want him taking an overnight trip with friend?,NTA
110wudb,"Me and my cousin have had a rocky past because she used to be a dick to me for essentially no reason. At most family gatherings she would try her hardest to make sure that I didn’t have a good time. Whether that was turning people against me over some stupid argument, or bringing up something from months/years back even though I’ve already apologized for them. A lot of times my other cousins would take her side rather than mine because of the bias that they had towards her simply because they talked to her more. Often in texts she’ll try to talk to me and when I deny her she’ll bring up dumb shit that happened. Ex. I left her on read one time and she brought up one time like 3 years ago that I had said. “Your boyfriend is a man whore and idk why you insist on staying with him even though he’s fucked 3 of your friends”. This isn’t the only example but if I said half of them my thumbs would be sore. So one day she messaged me and I decided to go off when she started complaining after I left her on read. A few hours later I get text messages from 4 of my cousins cursing at me because I called her out on being the bitch that she is. We have a big family and no one really tries to keep a secret so when word got to my parents, aunts, and uncles I wasn’t surprised. Seems like the only people who were backing me was my uncle and one of my cousins who had been my best friend for basically my whole life (no he didn’t message me cursing me out). I was basically public enemy number one for mostly everyone in that family. The only place I felt safe was at my grandma’s house on my mother’s side. I hadn’t talked much to the other members of my family outside of My best friend cousin, uncle, and siblings and parents until about a month ago. They had seemingly forgave me even though I never apologized for anything. Today that asshole cousin texted me saying that she apologized for everything. Saying that she didn’t mean for you to essentially be removed from the family for a whole year. I refuse to believe she was actually sorry. I simply told her “I wasn’t wanted in my own family for a whole year because of you. If you actually are sorry then that’s cool and all but it doesn’t mean I’ll forgive you. Which I don’t because I will never like you and you will never redeem yourself to me. Have a good rest of your life I hope to never have to speak to you again.” I blocked her after that and I’ve thought over this whole situation thinking that I was the victim but I don’t really know now. So AITA?",AITA for Refusing to Talk to my. Cousin After She Apologized?,NTA
1112hj1,"About two years ago me (45) and my BF(56) received a call while we were driving. He answered it on a car speaker phone. It was a lady whom I didn't know who immediately started talking about some personal issue she was going through and she was  confiding in my bf. I asked him who she was and he explained it was his maid name Hannah (late 20) who was also a friend.  I told him that I was not comfortable with his maid being that friendly and calling him like this. I told him I didn't want him to provide any emotional support to any women and I asked him not to use her maid services any longer and find someone else instead. He agreed. About five months ago my bf rented his house since he was living in my house for more than a year. While searching for a property manager, he told me that he found a good property manager and didn't need any of my contacts. Last night we attended a party at a restaurant and among people introduced to me was Hannah the property manager of my bf house. It took me few hours to sink in the information that this was the same exact person who called him two years ago. Only now she is a property manager of his house. I asked her how much experience she had,  and was told that my BF was her second client. I was very upset and left the party. Felt so betrayed and blindsided. My BF didn't think he was  wrong because he stopped using her as a maid as I requested. When I asked him why he hired her knowing I was not comfortable with her, his response was ""she does a good job"". I am still in shock. I don't think he is cheating. He is really lazy when it comes to search for services and goes with people he knows. However, I feel that I can't continue this relationship if he continues business with this person, because it became the matter of principle. I am aware that there is nothing going on between them,  but the fact that my feelings were not important makes me believe that there is no way to fix it. I told my BF that he needs to choose me or his property manager, but he could not chose and told me he was annoyed by the situation and went to sleep. Aita for overreacting?",AITA for the reaction to BF choice of the property manager,YTA
110yje9,"Over the last 4 weeks my grandpa has been slowly deteriorating and as someone in the healthcare system my family has been relying on me to navigate the next steps. It’s been exceptionally difficult trying to play both the role of a granddaughter and someone in the healthcare field for my family. Naturally I have been relying on my bf for support. He usually isn’t one to pick up on cues on actively ask if I’m ok and what I need so over the last two years I’ve just learned to tell him what I need in those moments. Today I came home for some support and asked him for some hugs,kisses, and  just to be asked how I’m doing. He immediately became upset and told me I hijacked his emotions and that he’d asked me earlier in the week how I was doing. I told him today was different since we decided to move my grandpa to palliative care to which he responded with “he’s been dying for the last four weeks and you’ve been needy for a month” He apologized after I asked him if his response about my grandfathers state this month was appellate. I was clearly upset and left and feel there’s a switch that’s been flipped about how I feel about him which he’s now well aware of and is blaming me for over reacting. Am I the asshole for leaving this behind due to his complete lack of empathy and response to the situation?",AITA (32f) for walking away after a comment was made about my grandfather who is passing away?,NTA
110rd0g,"I love my fiancé. She is a great woman. And I want to do whatever I can to make it work. But I go to bed early because I wake up everyday at 5am to work. I try to lay down by 9pm and fall asleep by 10pm. Otherwise, teaching all day is hell for me. My fiancé works from home. So she gets to sleep in until 10am or 11am everyday. She makes her own schedule. So she also goes out often in the middle of the school week. And comes back late with her friends. (No. I don’t think she is cheating). This doesn’t happen too often, but it happens enough that I’ve grown frustrated. I’ve communicated to her that even when she is quiet, I still wake up. Or can’t fall asleep cause she is out and I’m worried. Some nights she comes into bed wanting to cuddle, touch, etc. but I’m already asleep. She takes offense to me not wanting to talk about her day at midnight. Or when I nod off and start snoring again. We’re in our 30s and I just thought this would be something she would get tired of. My best friend says I’m being too harsh. That I need to get let it go and adapt to her sleep schedule. So finally I said that maybe when she goes out late she should sleep in the guest bedroom. She got upset. Said she wants to be able to cuddle me at night and it helps her sleep. But I’m growing resentful. Cranky. Part of me wants to childishly wake her up at 5am and keep calling her so she stays up so she knows what it feels like. I hate that I got to that point. I’m jealous of the sleep she gets. AITA?",AITA for asking my fiancé to sleep in the guest bed if she is going to be out late?,NTA
11127r2,"I (17F) am transgender and came out to my family in December of last year. They haven't used the correct pronouns for me a single time, claiming that ""they need time to adjust"". My mum put up some old pictures on the wall of the living room. One of them is an old photo of me. I hate looking at it because it reminds me of what people used to see me as and I get the feeling that my mum is still clinging on to the idea that I'm her son, not her daughter.She mentioned to me that she's grieving because she felt like she, quote, ""lost one of her sons"". I don't know if I could ask her to take that photo off the wall. WIBTA if I did?",WIBTA if I asked my mother to take down an old picture of me?,NTA
110uz9r,"For context, I drive a full size WHITE pick up truck.It's night time, it's dark but the street lamps give off that amber glow. I'm by the college and I'm at the gas station filling up. Once I finish, I'm pulling up to street to await for traffic to merge. There's a bicycle lane on the street and I'm not impeding it's flow at all, I'm still in the wide... Gas station lot? You know what I mean.Traffic is too thick and I'm there for a bit, so I'm constantly looking left and right for a break to make my merge. While I'm swiveling my head, I see a college kid riding his bicycle, heading against the flow of traffic, in the bicycle lane, with his face lit up bright white/blue from his cellphone he's staring down directly into.No biggie, not my business. My focus is now on him more than traffic because I ain't merging with a dumbass in proximity. I watch as he nearly misses a parked car on his left and corrects and starts to head up on what I can only assume, what he thought was ""sidewalk."" Except there is no sidewalk cuz it's a big gas station lot and there's a bike lane for him. I noticed his trajectory and calculated his fuck up and honestly just stayed put.I could argue that I did see it coming and could have gotten out of the way but chose to wait it out. I could also argue that I didn't know WTF this kid was doing and didn't know which way to go. Either way, I stayed put... And watched him bicycle himself directly into my right front tire and catapult himself off it.He bounced pretty well off my tire and got some air. I expected him to hit my hood but surprisingly, the rubber on rubber shot him backwards. He wasn't going very fast but enough for him to have built up enough inertia to break his phone. Before I could get my window down all the way, he'd gotten back up, picked up his phone and said, ""AGAIN?!"" and then went around me.I don't honestly feel bad about it but it does feel like a dick move on my part.AITA for not getting out of his way?TLDR: bicyclist swerved into my path, looking at his cellphone and launched himself off my tire",AITA for not getting out of the way for a bicyclist?,NTA
1110kl3,"Aita? Throwaway because this story is kinda specific. So I (m39) and my girl (f39) have been on and off for years. We finally came together for good in 2019. In the years we had apart she has taken on more animals than I would have liked her to. She’s got the biggest heart in the world but I was hesitant in reaching back out because of this. She has 2 dogs and 3 cats. Anyway, we worked it all out and decided to buy a house. I hate the apartment she’s living in and moving in together would give her some financial relief and a yard for the dogs, etc. Well, last summer her RA started flaring really bad and she had to have multiple surgeries. I found a house to buy for us to while this was all going on and she came on her crutches and fell in love with the place. We decided this was the one and I put in an offer. We had a place for the cats and their litter boxes and all. I had conditions for her to move in tho. 1. She had to pay $1200 to me for mortgage and expenses.(way cheaper than her current rent) 2. She had to put at least $100/month into E*Trade, 3. She had to take out $10k of her 401k to help pay for stuff around the house. 4. She had to promise that her “disorder” wouldn’t affect our home life. She has severe ADHD and AUD so she has what she calls “executive dysfunction”. Meaning she can’t get up and clean unless she has motivation to do so. She says I have zero empathy which she’s right. I am very much the person who thinks “if it doesn’t affect me then I don’t care about it”. Anyway, she agreed to all of this. Her foot surgery had complications and she was left in her apartment barely able to do anything for herself. I went over one night and her apartment was a complete mess. Cat litter everywhere and trash in the sink. She was still in a cast and couldn’t afford house cleaners. I’m a total neat freak and couldn’t deal with the mess. I left super frustrated and ended up texting her the next day saying basically “either the cats or me”. Obviously she didn’t chose me. She said as soon as I signed the papers on the house that her “body doubling” has kicked in and her apartment would have been clean and packed if she hadn’t ended up in a cast. We haven’t talked in months and I know she’s saying iata because I was being “controlling and not empathetic towards her disorder” but I like things the way I like thinks and she knows this. So Reddit, aita?",AITA for making my girl choose me or her cats?,YTA
110gzlq,"So my brothers girlfriend has her own car I have my car and my brother has a van, for context I live in there home after moving to their country i moved in with them for the last 4 months, so I remote work from home, pay rent get my own groceries, split bills etc. But I have noticed over the last few months that whenever my brothers girlfriends car is blocked in she just takes my car without asking to go get coffee, go to her friends for lunch with out asking because she can’t drive a manual car, my car and hers is automatic, so she just takes my keys and gets in it and goes without asking me or coming in and saying can I barrow your car nothing, she just takes it, and just recently we were over at their friends house for a gathering and a topic came up and needing a car between two people and she just insisted that they take her car and she can use mine without even consulting or asking me….,When I got home I said that annoyed me you should have asked before doing something like that and she says “well the car doesn’t go anywhere anyway and would you not help a friend out I asked you a few weeks back that if they might need my car could I use yours(she never asked me don’t where she made this up) but no blamed me for making a stupid argument up and if I was annoyed I should have brought it up at the time, I said I didn’t want to bring the mood of the gathering down by starting something that could be talked about after it doesn’t make sense embarrassing and making awkwardness and she says oh yeah so you bring it up here. I have been trying to move out and get my own place but it’s very hard to try and get a place as they are all took and gone every time I go to look at a place it’s taken.So am I in the wrong should I let them just do whatever they want when they don’t pay gas, insurance, or anything to my car?EDIT:I don’t block her in ever I park on the side walk or they block me in or my brother blocks her or me in depending on who’s car he parks behind if it’s hers she takes my car unless it’s for work she takes her own, I am not so much annoyed with the fact that they take my car it’s was the assumption that they didn’t even consult me before they said it, they just said take my car and we can use his… no question asked to me just assumed!",AITA for questioning why they can use my car without asking,NTA
110shx5,"My (35f) husband (42M) and I moved to his country after meeting and getting married in my country. I have a daughter from my previous marriage.We moved to his country for his job. I left my career, family and friends to move in the middle of the pandemic. We were renting a house and found a house we both liked and he bought it. I solely own an apartment in my country and he owns 2 other houses where we are now. These properties are in our own names are rented out and the proceed goes back into paying the mortgage. He keeps the proceeds from his properties and I keep mine. This house we're living in is his third property. I am working but financially dependent on my husband. My current salary 15 times lower than his and I cannot contribute to the mortgage. I would love to if my salary allows it. All my salary goes towards groceries etc and he pays the bills and mortgage. He is a generous man and we are never calculative on who pays for what. When he bought this house we're living in, he asked if we should put my name as a co-owner and I said that I can't. My country has very strict rules on owning overseas properties. I cannot own another property if I just bought a house for less than 5 years. At that time, I bought my house 2.5 years prior. If we were to put me as a co-owner in this house then, I'd have to give up my property in my country.Now, 2.5 years on, after 5 years of buying my house, I can be a co-owner of another property. So I told my husband that I'd like to have be listed as a co-owner to this house we're living in. He said that it's not fair as I didn't not contribute financially to the mortgage and down payment. He said if we were to separate, I'd get 50% of a property I never paid for. I said that I'd pay towards the mortgage if I can but it won't make a difference financially as our household expenses are pooled together. I also explained that I contributed towards the house. I clean, cook etc. I maintained the house. I was very disappointed in his reaction but I also understand his POV. I feel that my non-financial contribution to our house is not valued.AITA for asking to be a co-owner?",AITA for asking to be a co-owner of our house,NTA
1111zjk,"Before I start this story please don't use it in any tiktoks or YT VideosOkay so I (22m) have a friend (20f) who broke up with her boyfriend not too long ago. They broke up after he made her choose between her friend or him. She was depressed to say the least especially because Valentine's Day was coming up and she didn't have anyone to spend it with. She lives with her best friends who are engaged. I felt bad that she had to spend it alone, I've never dated so I can honestly say that I sympathized.That's when I came up with a plan. I would spend Valentine's Day with her, not as a date, but just to get her out of the house so she wouldn't have to deal with that lovey dovey crap. I asked her to be my valentine and if she wanted to hang out that day and she said yes. I then made a plan with everyone in our friend group to show up at her house with flowers and candy. I truly wanted to make this day better for her. I even went out and bought those things ahead of time.Well time passes by and the other day she tells me she's back together with her boyfriend. Even though everyone was against it because he was controlling her social life, she claimed that we made them break up. I asked her if we could still hang out that day which she said ""um it's Valentine's Day soooo no"" I felt horrible because for the first time, even if it wasn't a date, at least I was gonna spend Valentine's Day with someone. She already agreed and I spent money on these things and now she just bailed on me. I even explained the plan to her and what I was gonna do and she said ""well that's not my fault""Well needless to say I was extremely depressed so I ran to my group chat and told them everything. They were all pissed off and had nothing but sympathy for me. We all unanimously agreed she was a shitty person for what she did. I understand her feelings but making plans with someone all to bail on them later is something I've experienced way too much and it's not a good feeling. She would later put on her Instagram notes ""Fuck everyone imma do me and him"" I still haven't told her how I truly feel and I'm still extremely pissed off. One of my other best friends is coming to see me on that day for a few minutes, but she's bringing her with them. I'm thinking about giving the stuff I bought her to them.",AITA for badmouthing my best friend after she bailed on me before Valentine's Day,ESH
110w2ns,"So a girl from our home town used our pictures to catfish people and scam them out of money, well started posting screenshots and make a group on Facebook to get everyone she’s done this to, and all her victims together so we could go to the police. She “doesn’t feel safe.” Her family doesn’t care, and thinks what she is doing is okay. We have had random people message us, one girl had an aggressive man show up at her job, and another had a random car pull up to her house. Yes we are going to the police. Yes we tried to get her to stop. Yes she admitted to doing it. She says she did it because she was “lonely” and “not pretty like us.” So Are WTAH?",AITA for putting a girl on blast for using me and my friends to catfish people??,NTA
1110bb3,"All the names in this will be fake Two days ago i saw my cousins Tyler and Carter in the shops and I decided I would buy them some Candy since they are my favourite cousins, I grabbed a bag of skittles and a candy bar each and the things I needed and took them to the register that my cousins were next to on the floor counting their money Carter is 8 and Tyler recently turned 10 so I guess they were probably using Tylers birthday money or what was left of it. I stepped in the line to the register and paid for my items  and got there attention by putting the candy on their heads, The women and her child behind me must of noticed I just bought two kids candy because her daughter started complaining that she never bought her daughter candy and the woman who I'm willingly going to call Karen looked at me and looked back at her daughter kinda telling me off with her eyes if that makes sense Carter and Tyler got up and hugged me after they picked up all their money and and thanked me for the Candy then left and I would of left to if I didn't forget to grab sugar so I went and grabbed sugar and  another candy bar for the little girl. It's not because I didn't want to it's because the Karen was rude and I didn't want to do what the Karen said because she started a fight in a grocery shop over candy Karen walked over and grabbed my wrist so I'd noticed her it wasn't harmful in anyway and there was no violence involved Karen started demanding I buy her kid Candy because I bought some 'random homeless kids' candy which angered me I don't let Anyone talk badly about my family especially not the children in the family so I yelled at her that they were my cousin's and she went pale and got all offended, Karen's daughter who I'm going to call Amaya pulled on my shirt while the Karen was distracted and apologized for her mother Amaya looked around 8-9 and my heart kinda melted by her so I payed for the Candy and sugar and gave her the candy and told her not to tell her mother and I walked out Karen cussing at me and calling me names and all I did was put the finger up at her and leave I don't know what Karen was thinking and I don't know why she thought I had to buy her daughter a candy bar even though I didn't know them but she crossed the line calling my cousin's random Homeless kids but I could of handled it differently",AITA for refusing to buy a Karen's kid candy even though I had the money,NTA
110yy9q,"I’d like to preface this by saying that after hours upon hours of research and self reflection I’m *pretty sure* I’m on the spectrum and am looking for someone who will be able to diagnose me. I also deal with the low filter/not seeing how my bluntness can be perceived as rude and similar communication/social skills. I was scrolling through Twitter and looking at some autism hashtags because I’m interested in other people’s personal accounts on their diagnosis. I saw one guy being kind of aggressive and was intrigued by this (guy 1). After about 10 minutes of scrolling through his page I saw him insulting multiple different people for their experiences with autism (mostly openly autistic women). A lot of this aggression was unprovoked and blatantly rude. His cover photo literally preaches “be kind” so I pointed this out and politely suggested he handle his communication better as I’ve struggled a lot with it, and even suggested some ways I use that he could portray his thoughts more kindly.After this he sent a response along the line of “it’s not unprovoked you know nothing about me” then called me a stalker bc I mentioned scrolling though his page for a bit. Then one of his buddies (guy 2) started commenting things like “it’s not that easy otherwise we wouldn’t be autistic” and I pointed out, again, that his friend is insulting people and calling people names for almost no reason. I said that there’s a difference between accidentally being rude and calling people names because they have a different experience than you do. Guy 1 and 2 started saying that I was being judgemental of guy 1s “approach” followed by insults. In reply to one of guy 2’s comments that “autistic people don’t have the capacity for conversation” I said that “communication skills are something that we need to WORK ON as autistic people, not excuse because of our disabilities.” I will not be replying to the Twitter thread more because I feel it’s pointless to argue with someone who refuses to see any side but their own and just insults you, but now I’m silently obsessing over all of their mean comments and them saying they *are* working on it even if I don’t see and I’m questioning if I was in the wrong/ doing the same thing he was.So AITA for calling someone out for blaming autism on being rude for no reason.",AITA for telling someone that being autistic isn’t an excuse for attacking people on Twitter?,ESH
110xr30,I live in a neighborhood where each house has 1 acre lots. My next door neighbor converted his backyard into a dirtbike track for his son. All day everyday this kid is outside ripping around on his dirtbike. He just does laps all fucking day. I feel like I live in a logging camp. I know some people are going to call me a Karen but you don't have to live with this everyday. I just feel like it's wildly inconsiderate to the neighborhood. So WIBTA if I try to get the town involved to put a stop to this?,WIBTA if I call the town on my dirtbike riding neighbors?,INFO
110v7yx,"So here it goes I live with my partner and another couple in a two bedroom apartment. We have been friends for years and have had only minor issues up to this point. So about 2 months ago my partner and I decided to start testing the waters about how they would feel if we got a dog. We asked them for permission over 40 times and every single time they were like “yeah go for it”. So about 2 weeks ago we decided to reach out to a breeder family members have used before and fell in love with one of her 8 week old chow chow puppies (I am an experienced chow owner). We made sure to check with them multiple times before getting him and setting clear boundaries with all 4 of us. Well this weekend, while all of us were back in our hometown visiting family, the female of the couple decided to go to an adoption event at petco. She did not ask or even tell us that she got a dog (8 week female). I actually had to find out from her Snapchat story.  This may sound hypocritical but neither I nor my partner were comfortable with this for multiple reasons. One reasons being my partner is allergic to dog hair (think like terrier), hence why we got a chow chow with fur and not hair, her dog has hair. My partners family members have been hospitalized for pet allergies before so it was a concern for us. Another reason being that our puppy is currently not up to date on shots and not eligible to be until late March. I am also severely concerned about littermate syndrome, while I know it is a slim chance, it is still something I do not feel comfortable risking. Our chow is an extremely dominant dog and he does not get along well with other dogs at this point in time. I brought up my concerns about all of this before she even arrived back from petco and was told to “deal with it”. The couple then showed up to my parents house unannounced as my partner and I were trying to leave to meet up with people for dinner reservations. I voiced my concerns once more, and the female just sat on my couch crying “I know I messed up but I won’t return her”. She also accused me of already giving her permission (something I would not have done). She had not once mentioned this thought to me or my partner, even though we made sure to ask them multiple times separately and together. Her boyfriend then mentioned that they had a 2/3 majority of the lease (we split four ways but only 3 of us could be on the lease) and that they could do whatever that want. And told us basically that it was tough luck and we did not have any say. I also want to add that she sat and sobbed on my couch for over an hour and the second she got in the car to leave she stopped crying. We all returned back to our apartment today and things are tense as I think we all hard or negative feelings about the whole situation. Am I wrong for being upset of the blatant lack of respect and care for my opinion? Am I wrong for being upset that they decided to put both my partner and my dog at risk for a selfish impulse buy?",AITA for being upset about my roommate getting a dog without permission?,NTA
110yulo,"When I was 11 years old (I think?), my stepfather's kind elderly mother made me a big, beautiful red velvet cake for my birthday. The cake was put in the fridge at my house, and me being the curious child that I am, I decided I wanted a little taste of it before the party. Unfortunately, the cake got ruined and spilled all over the floor before I could taste it like I wanted to, and the rest of my family bought me a new one.It was an accident, I assure you. But my family ordered me to keep me spilling it a complete secret from my grandmother, telling her that I had her cake at my party and that I loved it. I'm now 22, and she died of old age last year...and worst of all, she died without me ever telling her the truth because I was afraid it would make her sad. Due to this, I'm genuinely morally conflicted as to whether I'm an asshole for lying, or if I would've been an even *bigger* asshole by telling the truth.",AITA for lying to my grandmother?,NTA
110t6au,"Last month, I watched Dawn Of The Dead (the 2000s version) with my parents during the weekend (I am 16M so they thought I was old enough). We were nearly done the movie, when we noticed that my 6-year old sister, Catherine, was watching along with us, from the doorway. She was crying because of how scary the movie was. So my parents told me to comfort Cathy, and bring her back to her room to go to bed.On Monday morning, Cathy woke me up for school as usual (she always wakes me up in very cute ways). So just to play a joke on her, I told her ""oh no, Cathy, get away! I'm going to EAT YOU!"" Catherine started screaming and she ran out of my room, and I followed her, pretending to be a zombie. I cornered her with her back against the wall, and she was crying and scared to death. Then I revealed to her that it was all just a joke; I'm not a zombie and nobody's going to eat her! Anyway, she still has nightmares about the movie.AITA?",AITA for scaring my little sister right after she watched Dawn Of The Dead?,YTA
11104lc,   So basically I’ve been with my gf for about 4 years and she suggested why don’t we move in together so I was pretty comfy at my spot so I moved her and her dog in. I’ve personally have never wanted pets I just don’t have time for them at all. I knew the dog would come with it but I wasn’t too worried about it because it’s her dog.    Been dealing with this for about 2 months it’s been just shitting and pissing all over the floor. And she won’t do anything about it? There’s a back yard where the dog can go. I bought a lil dog door thing where you put it inbetween the glass sliding door. I told her basically everyday from the start dude you need to do something about your dog this is fucking gross she just lets it sit there on the ground and cleans it up at the end of the night.  I suggested the dog stay outside but she doesn’t believe that dogs should be outside and something about it’s a law? Idk I lived in California most of my life and it seemed fine there but maybe Washington state is different? Any ways it’s pretty fowl and it’s getting to the point where I just want it gone and she says I’m being unfair where I’ve been saying teach the dog or it has to go. I know I’m not being unreasonable! I just don’t understand how people think it’s ok to let any animal just do that. AITA?,AITA For telling my girl friend to get rid of her dog because she just lets it piss and shit all over the floor?,NTA
110n91s,"So I (25F) have a skin condition mainly effecting my hands, I had it bad when I was young and now my hands are smaller than average as a result… It’s nothing major dramatic, people often don’t notice but some do…Now one of my closest friends (26f), someone I have known for over ten years, is in a relationship with someone (30m) who keeps commenting on my hands. Firstly, he is Romanian so there may be some etiquette/cultural differences to factor in…The first instance was when we were discussing what jobs we wanted as kids... Mine was life guard so I said that and be immedietely said “Not with those hands!”. I was caught off guard so I kinda laughed and tbh I didn’t know if I had heard him correctly...Then it happened again. We were at a live experience / adventure thing for a birthday. One of the things there was a zip wire. I could hear him saying “She can’t do that she might not be able to grip it properly”…Then finally he bought it up once more and said “Your hands are too tiny for the zip wire let's do something else”. There was even an instant where he reached out and rubbed my wrist, claiming he thought I was his gf and it was an accident…I’m starting to feel awkward around him. WIBTA to ask her not to invite him out?",WIBTA for asking my friend not to invite her boyfriend out,NTA
110r914,"I graduated from high school last year and was really proud of it, bc I was struggling for some years due to some personal problems and I never really thought that I would make it.I was so happy and even the presenter on the stage during graduation, but I have arrived at last minute bc my then-gf was taking too long to prepare herself. I was stressed but happy to share this day with her and my parents. She even has baked me a cake.After the formal graduation ceremony we had a small BBQ at school and afterwards we have spend some time driving around together in my aunts cabriolet. It was very nice.I dropped my gf off at home. I planned to spend the night with my friends downtown.She was not sure if she would join us, bc her friend from her hometown was visiting her over that weekend and she wanted to spend time with her. I was kinda annoyed that her friend had to visit her at that time but I tried to understand, bc she did not see her friend for a while and her friend just could visit her during that time.She then decided that she and her friend would join us and I would pick them up later.I had things to do and was stressed, then a phone call from my gf asking me if I could wear jeans instead of my current pants from my suit, bc she and her friend would not wear dresses (bc her friend had no dress with her). So it was more important for her that her friend feels comfortable instead of me). I slightly annoyed responded that I have no time to change my clothes bc I am currently stressed and that I don't want to wear jeans, bc I would like to wear my suit when going out.She got mad and when I was picking them up they took very long to be ready. When they arrived my gf was still mad, even when I picked up my other friends. We then arrived downtown and sat down at a restaurant. I was kinda insecure bc of the mood of my gf. She has depression and some other problems. I tried to lighten her mood, bc she was still kinda mad and ignoring me. I bought us all drinks and tried to start a conversation but it was kinda awkward bc my gf was constantly on her phone and in her own world.I then saw that she was chatting with some other guy from my class to join them.I got so emotional that I went to the bathroom to cry.They stayed with us the whole night and I even bought them something to eat but they ruined my special night, especially my gf.She never understood why this was bothering me that much. She would explain that they were not sure if they wanted to join us and that they could had other plans for this night. Her friend was visiting her during that time and she wanted to also do something with her.TL;DR;A friend of my then-gf was visiting her over the weekend while I had my graduation. After the ceremony we went downtown. My gf was not sure if she wanted to join me, but she did. She was mad at me and ruined this special night, bc I refused to change my outfit.",AITA for never forgiving my then-gf for ruining my graduation,NTA
110sa17,"my sister (15) has a best friend named Ash (15F). Ash grew up in an abusive home, and was taken in by our grandma Pam (my stepdads mom) 4 years ago. Pam has done everything for Ash, put her back in school, put her in therapy, pays for her meds. she got new clothes, books, a laptop, a phone, pocket money, etcAsh was diagnosed with bpd about a year ago and Pam took it in stride, she's never failed to help Ash in whatever way she needed. Ash also has a problem with substance abuse, it started back before she lived with Pam. she used to steal her grandfathers pain meds, any alcohol in the house, and use whatever she could get from friends etc. Pam stopped keeping alcohol in the house and locked away all medication because of this. my parents would also limit the amount my sister visited Ash, and tried to keep it as monitored as possible when she did.Ash had started becoming abusive with Pam. i wont go into details but it got pretty bad. she's currently in a psyche ward, awaiting diagnosis before she'll be sent to a mental health facilitymy sister woke up on Friday to get ready for school looking completely fucked. she was pale, eyes red and dilated, she would pause between sentences not remembering what she was saying. we knew she took something, and that the symptoms werent weed. she's quite rebellious and has gotten high off weed and drunk at school with friends before, but nothing beyond that. she's been punished for it every time she's been caught. i'm no saint but im of legal age and i keep my usage to a safe and controlled environment, as well as very rare (months between usage) and never around my siblings.my mom and i completely tore apart her room looking for whatever she took. we found about half a dozen empty injections, and multiple different containers with sleeping pills/pain meds inside. we knew they were from Ash. my mom and i both went into shock, and had a very serious talk with my sister. theres a long history of drug abuse in my moms side of the family, most of which we've gone NC with. and my sister also shows characteristics of an addictive personalityi became extremely angry after the shock wore off, i sent Ash a message telling her to stay away from my sister, and that if my sister turns out to be a drug addict because of her that i would never be able to forgive her. she told my sister and my sister freaked out saying that Ash is too fragile right now and i shouldnt be so harsh. i believe it was completely within my right to say something as Ash has messed around with my family more than enough, even admitting that the reason she hated my grandma was because she was the only person she couldnt manipulateyes she's had a difficult life, and she's ""fragile"" right now, and i feel sorry for her. but her actions are her own, and i wont let my sister be dragged down with her",AITA for telling my sisters best friend to stay away from her,NTA
110vkgx,"To start off, my friend hates the military. She thinks it's a waste of money and that people who go in are only there because they have nowhere else to go. I told her I was going to do NROTC at my college and she had many mixed emotions about it. While she tried to be supportive, she kept reiterating the fact that she does not like the military. Fast forward a little bit and I find out that my NROTC scholarship does not get approved and I'm left with the Navy recruiter basically saying 'Sorry, LOL, that sucks.' I got pretty fed up and went over to the Marines where they roped me in quick. Since then, I applied to the Marines and swore in yesterday. I've held off telling my friend since I knew she wouldn't be supportive and the last thing I wanted was for her to make it all about her and to hear about how she hates it. I finally came clean and now she's super pissed at me. I tried explaining that I didn't tell her because I wasn't sure if I was going to go through with it and I didn't want to hurt her but she keeps telling me that I was wrong for not coming clean sooner. Am I the asshole for not telling her earlier?",AITA for lying to my friend about joining the military?,NTA
110uo6f,"So my parents told us we were going to our uncles in just 1 car and we left at 11am. It's currently 6ish at night the Super Bowl is maybe almost through the 1st quarter or smth, idk I'm not watching it. I don't want to be here at my uncle's anymore cuz as much as I had fun, my extrovert meter has run dry and we have a dog at home (who has been potty trained yes) but it's been a while since he last went outside to do his business.I don't want to ruin the fun for everyone and ask one of my parent's to drive me and possibly my brother home only to make them drive another 30-40 minutes back to my uncle's to continue the Super Bowl, especially since I don't know how to drive their truck (they won't let me learn how to drive it even if I have my own car but that's at home because they made us all go in 1 car).I would like to be home now with the dog and just try to decompress. But I don't want to ruin everyone's fun for asking to leave and sound like a whiny baby causing problems. Would I be the AH to ask one of my parent's to drive me home since they made the choice for everyone to just take 1 car when it would have been better if we took 2?Edit: I know it's a long time and we normally aren't out of the house that long away from the dog so please no hate on my parents/family for any of thatEdit 2: mother started having an allergic reaction to the cats at my uncle's so called it quits and now we're heading home",WIBTAH if I wanted to end Superbowl night short to go home and check on the dog because my family made us take just 1 car?,NTA
110y8qh,"I don’t think I’m in the wrong here and my friends don’t either but ever since this happened my mom has been very cold and distant so do I need to apologize because I’m the ah?I had a high school dance that I was going to with some friends. We were planning to meet up at one of their boyfriends house, but that was later so I had some downtime to get ready. My mom, Tish, had told me the day before out of the blue that she had booked a hair appointment to get my hair in an updo for the dance. I wasn’t aware of it and never asked her to do it but I thought it was nice. And we had also gone shopping the day before for a dress, we bought 2. One was $15 and the other was $10. I had told her I’d pay her back but she said I didn’t need to. Anyways I went to get my hair done and it looked beautiful, and when the cost came it was $90ish. I had gotten a gift card for $100 for Christmas so she just used that. So I technically paid for my hair. I had some downtime so I just put on some gel nails, that took around one hour. I put on my dress, did my makeup, put on some jewelry, and I was ready. My mom was yelling at me because we were gonna be late, that was my fault I thought I had more time and then my dress malfunctioned, so I put on my shoes and was about to walk out the door when she stopped me. She told me that she wanted to take pictures. I told her that we were literally leaving to go take pictures and we would be late. She just kept telling me that she wanted one picture. So I just said fine and went where she wanted. This is where the problem starts. First the lighting wasn’t right, then I wasn’t “smiling properly” (idk what she meant because that’s my normal smile so), then she didn’t like the background. I finally just said “can we please go we’re gonna be late?”. Tish was not happy about this. She started yelling, this is exactly what she said except I’m not going to put all the curse words. “Are you f-ing kidding me. I spend all day getting you your f-ing dresses and your f-ing hair and spending all this f-ing money and all I want is an f-ing picture and you can’t even f-ing do that for me”.That took me off guard and when she was yelling and storming away she was slamming all the doors in her path. She still hasn’t really talked to me, just at pictures because there were other people. I don’t feel like I need to apologize because I offered to pay for my dresses, I did pay for my hair and that’s something I didn’t want to pay for because I was saving up for dye but had to use my money on that. And I could’ve gotten a ride from my friend for the dresses and shopping. So AITA for this?",AITA for not letting/wanting my mom to take pictures of me?,NTA
110zjfy,"I (18NB) decided I would cook dinner tonight as a way to give back to my family since my mom had had a long week working on things for my school, my dad had just returned from Kentucky, and my sister had just had a series of interviews to potentially get a full ride for college the day before. I made a cherry pie from scratch, as well as making dinner for my family and setting the table. The only thing I asked any of my family to do was ask my sister to get drinks ready, including going out to our garage to get lemonades for her and myself. She got pissy at me for asking her to go outside to get them, saying I should do it myself. I told her that since I was asking her to do one thing, it shouldn’t be the end of the world for her. My dad made her get the drinks, but she only brought in one and gave it to me rather than putting it in a glass, as she’d done to get everyone else’s drinks. AITA for snapping at her for not doing the one thing I’d asked and then for doing it passive aggressively?",AITA for blowing up at my sister?,NTA
110vt3n," So I me and my friends were all in a discord call one day and were watching the Super Bowl 57 playoffs and it was the Cowboys VS Tampa Bay Game and My friend who claims makes over 5K a week is a Tampa Bay fan and said he would bet $500 on the game for Tampa Bay to win, I said I would take that up and he said he'll do it for $100 instead, we agreed and watched the game together. As you might know, the cowboys won which means I won $100.  I talked to him about it in DM's a day later and he said he ""tried"" to send the money via PayPal but I never received it, he then said that it still drained the money from his account and said he would call his bank about. about a week later I remind him about the situation and he says he called his bank and there's nothing he can do (He has shown no proof thus far while I have sent him multiple screenshots from PayPal) I then say ""It's fine I don't need the money anyway."" and proceed to move on with my life.   Now fast forward weeks later where I'm hosting a $100 tournament on a game and that friend and many others are participating in. Here he makes claims that if he wins he'll ""give back to the community"" and split it evenly with everyone else, and we ask him why he doesn't host tournaments himself if he wants to give back and he replies ""Because it's not my money I I'm using"" I then jokingly say ""We'll it should be cause you owe me"" and he then it just ends up spiraling out into a huge argument and he claims that making around 250K a year is just OK and that 'm in the wrong for going back on my statement when I said that it is fine and don't need the money anyway. My argument here is that I'm still obviously gonna be mad I never received money that he owes me when I have shown proof and he has done nothing to back up his statements from early on and that I believe he is lying. Now I'm still arguing about it and holding grudges about a week later from the tournament and now I'm split weather I'm in the wrong or not. (Note: I am not the person in this story I am sending this on my friends behalf since he doesn't use reddit, yes I got his consent to submit it and he himself wrote this down.)",AITA For going back on a statement I made about a bet?,NTA
1110wfv,"Over the weekend, my boyfriend (19m) and I (16f), hung out and while on his phone he got a text from a girl. So being very immature, i clicked on it and read what they were texting about. I saw a lot of things that I didn't like (her sending hearts, him telling her he was going to call her after work, etc.). I thought this was weird but I didn't say anything because we were hanging out. Well this morning, i woke up and thats all I could think about so I asked him about why she was sending him hearts and why he was saying other things. He said that she was having a hard time and that she wanted to talk to him which i'm fine with but the mood in the text just felt weird. He got upset because I asked about this and then brought up me talking to a lot of guys (i talk to him and 1 other guy). So was I in the wrong for bringing this up?",AITA for asking about another girl?,NTA
110xsl2,Sorry for errors mobile and I am not a good writer. I am a 24F and I have a group of friends there are me and 10 others. For some context we are in America but I was not born here I was born in the UK and moved to the states at a young age and lived here most of my life but anyways we are all 24 to 26. Everyday we are hanging out at some point it gets to 3 people in particular making fun of me being British. Without fail it happens I laugh it off and don't take it to heart but it's been going on for 2 years at this point. I have this other friend her name is Geneva (I got permission to use her name) she is the soul reason I am staying in this group she has done everything in her power to protect me but today I don't know if I can keep going. We've had our issues in the group but these three boys have gone to far today. All my life I've been bullied for where I was born and I have gotten use to it but I thought I could trust this group of friends with where I am from but it seems I cannot. I said in our GC that I thought the whole super bowl thing was stupid. Now I don't mind sports I do like them just not football. Side note I do golf as a side hobby and I have won a lot of trophies but they do not see golf as a sport and make fun of me for it and call me an old man when I am the second youngest in the group. But anyways when I said this three of the group members started swearing screaming and making fun of me being British because I said that mentioning the Boston Tea Party. I started crying and when I said I was and that they make me feel shitty for being who I am they made more fun and started calling me wanting to hear it. For 2 hours they called and texted me making fun of me while I drove to my friend Genevas house and cried on her. I have never and I will never make fun of someone else for where they are from. After I calmed down I read the messages it was all about British people the Boston Tea party and other stuff shaming me. Geneva has tried her hardest to keep me protected but it has gone without fail that they will keep doing it no matter what. I don't think they care about my feelings. I do not know what to do anymore I want to leave the group but I also want to stay for Geneva so WIBTA for leaving the group?,WIBTA if I left my group of friend's because of the way they make fun of me,NTA
110qck7,"9 months ago we fled from my dad(60m) after years of abuse. I(20f) won’t get into details but we ended up in a shelter searching for jobs.Mom(55f) had no luck besides doing some odd jobs for friends that covered needs. I applied for a welders assistant job and ended up getting it with no experience. They got me an apprenticeship and bumped my pay up to 24$ after a month. I was thriving and got an apartment for us to live in.But near Christmas my brother(17m) and I got sick for 2 weeks. When I recovered my boss said he didn’t have enough work for me but was happy to lend me to a different company until they got work again.The day that I was starting I woke up with the same flu I had before. This caused me to panic because I was scared about being sick for another 2 weeks or being sent home. This along with thoughts about letting down my family and past trauma caused me to have a very bad panic attack. I woke up my mom and she tried praying the demons out of me. It caused the attack to be worse because Dad used to tell me that the end of the world was coming and the demons in me would drag me to hell.I managed to retreat to my brothers room and ended up crying to him. He’s amazing and always knows how to help. So he put on some memes to distract me as he calmed me down. After the attack I got sick for 2 weeks again. When I was healthy enough to go to work, I ended up having another attack that got me sick for another week. This happened again and again due to me afraid to my fear of failing and finding out dad got engaged to a 25 year old in the Philippines and has been harassing my mom along with other things.Recently I had a session with my therapist and was given antidepressants. She told me it’s not my fault and given me grounding techniques but I’ve been getting more attacks because my medication is in pill form and I have a fear of pills cause I have choking trauma. Every time I fail at taking a pill it keeps reminding me of how I can’t take care of my family and i’m weak cause I can’t do what normal people can do so easily. The one time I took it I ended up crushing which I’m not supposed to do, I had a bigger attack than the first time and almost blackmailed my father so he’d leave us alone and pay child support so I could feel useful again. Also Dad paid 2500$ for a plane ticket to get his “wife” here tomorrow. It hurts cause have a long distance relationship and I haven’t seen my boyfriend in 2 years while he’s only known her for 8 months.But because I haven’t been working we won’t be able to make march’s rent. Mom has still been trying to find a job but what really hurts is watching my little brother go out trying to sell his games and applying to KFC. Mom tells me how if I was working we’d have enough to get a car for us (ours broke down). Her friends are saying “give her a taste of the real world, you’re babying her too much” and i’m starting to think they’re right.So please tell me. Am I the asshole?",AITA For not working and causing my family to soon be homeless?,NTA
110uuhe,Hey so I (F22) have a friend (F23) we have known each other ever since middle school. We are still pretty close. I have been by her side ever since middle school and she has been by my side also ever since we have known each other.However after high school we got different interests and different friend groups but we still texted daily. But I feel that I am her friend while she isn't my friend. Because I would always listen to her rants for hours and the same topic could be talked about for weeks and I would have to listen to it again and again. But I always loved to offer a listening ear and give insight when needed. However when I vent to her I feel like I don't get the same energy in return and she somehow makes it about herself and then the topic is back her.So I just stopped venting to her and I feel like our relationship is one sided now because I feel like she isn't my friend but I am hers. So lately it has been annoying how many voicenotes she has been sending. I go to bed around 11pm while she stays up to 5-6am and when I wake up I get greeted by almost an hour or two of voicenotes that I have to listen to and give my insight and reply to most. I feel like I don't have the luxury of time to do it daily and I would rather be spending my time on something else.So am I the asshole for telling her to stop sending me that many voicenotes daily? I told her I rather meet once or twice a week and we can talk about whatever she wants to say in the voicenotes.​PS English isn't my first language so my excuses for poor grammar,AITA for telling my friend to stop sending me tens of voicenotes,NTA
1110uew,"I(25m) got into a situation with my brother(25m) and his friend(25m) two days over their streaming.  For context, the two are hugely into streaming and have amassed a small following on their twitch/youtube account. When it comes to my issues with them it all started with my home server and their desire to use it. ​More specifically, the two of them wanted to use it to host some game servers for their streams. When it came to the specifics, they wanted to host Minecraft, rust, and  GTAV servers.  This was a hard no for two reasons; the first was that I have no intention of granting access to the server. The second is that I deal with enough servers at work and don't want to deal with them at home as well. ​When I explained this to them I was expecting them to understand and respect this. Unfortunately, this wasn't the case and the two of them got very upset/pushy. They tried everything from trying to guilt trip me to bringing others into this. Since then I have had to not only deal with them in person but angry messages as well from other people.​Am I the asshole here?",AITA for wanting work and home life to be separate?,NTA
110oeit,"**Here's some context:** I live with 2 of my friends, and we've recently had an issue with our PG&E bill tripling from the previous bill. We all talked about it, and one of the things we were going to be on top of was turning off lights and unplugging things that aren't in use (we're doing things outside of this too like sharing wash loads, etc.).**Here's what happened:** One of my roommates was getting ready to go out to the club. She was rushing a bit toward the end of her needing to head out and forgot to turn off her light when she left. When I noticed, I turned it off. Didn't think much of it, but the next day (she came back at 6pm) she saw that her mini fridge had leaked from things melting inside. She asked, very annoyed, who turned off her light, and I said I did. Apparently, her light and fridge are on the same outlet extender box thing, which I didn't know, but me turning off her light turned off her fridge. I apologized and offered to clean up the mess but she denied, so I brought her stuff to help clean it up. She's been passive-aggressive about it but hasn't said anything directly.AITA for turning off her light? Could I be the asshole because the outlet box thing is something I should've thought of/considered a possibility and asked before turning it off?Edit: I appreciate everyone explaining to me how leaving lights on for extended periods of time doesn't affect the bills. I also wanted to mention, for the people wondering: I didn't go inside her room to turn off the light, the door was already open, and the switch is right off the door",AITA for causing a leak in my roommate's bedroom from her mini fridge?,NTA
1110rk0,"I (16F) have this one friend (16F) who we will call Claire. Me and Claire were friends when we were younger, but admittedly I caused our friendship to fall apart. When we weren’t friends, I met my friend Luna (15F). Last year, Luna and Claire became friends, and from there me and Claire attempted another friendship.Last year our friendship wasn’t bad, other than the fact that Claire would get jealous everytime I talked to Luna. Claire and Luna were close, and I don’t really care who my friends hangout with so it wasn’t a problem.It started to be an issue this year though however, when Claire constantly was getting upset at me for talking to Luna. It didn’t help that I made varsity soccer and she didn’t, and it put a huge rift in our friendship. Claire is also so much smarter than me, and she gets angry everytime I scored higher than her on something. It feels like everything I do really pisses off Claire which makes me upset. I’m ND, and so sometimes I ramble a lot and when I do she gets upset, but when I quiet down so she can say something she doesn’t. She gets mad at me for hanging out with anybody other than her, and when Claire and Luna fight with each other, Claire comes and dumps it on me.Recently, I went to a dance for my school. I invited claire, but she hates dances and told me how stupid she thinks they are and so she didn’t go. I invited Luna, and together we went. I thought luna told claire she was going, but she didn’t, and claire got super mad and started to blame me and call me horrible things. She looked up my soccer schedule when I wasn’t responding to her to make sure I wasn’t busy and it freaked me out. I felt so emotional exhausted because it felt like I can’t do anything without her permission. Well, Luna and Claire aren’t speaking to each other, and since I spent lunch with Claire last time, I decided to spent it with Luna. I specifically told claire where I was because she was demanding me to know where I was, and then after lunch she yelled at me because it was my fault she ate alone. After than I was so tired, and told her I wanted a break. She started to freak out and texted me things saying I was selfish and a horrible person because I was her only friend and I’d be leaving her alone. She was threatening her own life and telling me how I’d ruin her life if I left her and if I took a break from our friendship. I started to cry as I was so scared for her life, and so I went to a councilor and showed her the texts. Claire hates me now because she doesn’t think she needs therapy but I was so scared.I told my parents and they said the right thing, as well as luna did, but I feel a puddle of guilt in my stomach and I wonder if I messed stuff up. I was just so tired of constantly walking on eggshells with her, but maybe I took it too far by asking for a break. AITA?This is also a new account, apologies if I don’t know how Reddit works",AITA for asking my friend for a break?,NTA
1110orw,"Hello all! I'm sorry for such a long post, but I feel like I need to be as clear as possible with this post and make sure I give as much detail as possible. For a bit of background, I (30 F) and my friend (29 F) have known each other since we were about 13. She's like a sister to me. Her mom got really sick a while ago and my family made sure she knew we were there for her. My friend, who I'll call A from now on, is a single mom with a deadbeat ex-husband. ""A"" has full custody and ends up having to cover the cost of EVERYTHING for their kid... On to the issue at handIn January ""A"" contacted me and told me that she needed money, but was too scared/embarrassed to ask. I told her not to be and that I would send her however much she needed. She asked for $70, which I sent her. She then mentioned that actually needed more, but didn't want to ask for that much. I asked her how much more and she told me. No biggie, I sent it. She's family and I grew up with the rule that family doesn't pay you back if they can't afford to, so I wasn't expecting her to pay me back AT ALL.A couple of days later ""A"" called to thank me and we did some catching up/general life venting. During our conversation she mentioned she was trying to put together a birthday party for their child. I ask ""A"" how much she would need to throw her kid a great party. She gave me a rough estimate and I sent her the money. She lives on the opposite side of the country, so it was the only way I knew we could be there for her and be part of her child's birthday.Couple more days go by and ""A"" asks for gas money and I send her $40. A week later she asked for more money, which I sent. Between then and now she's sent me messages and texts asking how I'm doing, telling me how much she appreciates the help, etc.A couple days ago she messaged me while I was sleeping and asked for $80-$100. That was at around noon. When I got up for work and opened up my notifications I saw ""A"" sent me messages. All I could see was her asking me to come visit her like we'd discussed in the past. I then notice that there's a Cash App notification with a request from her for money she asked for while I was asleep. Seemed odd to send that when I didn't respond, but I still sent it.Today she asked me for more money.I get that she needs help and I want to be there, especially with her having to deal with the loss of her mom, but I'm concerned about the amount of money she's asking for from me on a weekly basis. Would I be the asshole if I told her I can't send her anymore money, even though I told her I would help her out?",WIBTA if I stopped helping a close friend after I said I would,NTA
110yxjt," have recently “par”-moved out of my parents house to live with my partner. My family is upset about this and will message me once in a while to tell me how much they miss me/how mad they are I don’t visit. To give some backstory, I (18 NB) can say confidently that I have never had a good or stable relationship with my parents. From a young age I was a bit of a hermit and clearly had mental health issues. This was never accounted for, possibly due to the fact that both of my parents have untreated/neglected mental health issues. Additionally, this forced  me have to act as the “family therapist”. When my parents would get into an argument, they would resort to telling me and asking for my thoughts on the matter. Considering this started happening when I was 12, I feel like it was pretty messed up to involve your child in your relationship issues. At times I was practically forced to pick sides; where either my mother or father would be moving out. Fights like these occurred far too often to the point I became desensitized to any of it. It was just “oh moms threatening to move out for good again”, only for her to leave for upmost if a week and come back. On top of that, I was rarely ever offered support or even capable of expressing how I was feeling to either of my parents because it would go in one ear and right out the other. To add to the poor relationship, for whatever reason my parents decided at that age (12) I was capable of doing most things for myself; including my own laundry and such. By the time I had a steady(ish) job (when I was around 15) I was made to buy my own basic necessities (shampoo, deodorant, feminine hygiene products, etc.). Yet still to this day my brother (16M) gets everything bought for him. As of September of last year I’ve been seeing my partner, whom provides emotional stability and support- things I haven’t gotten at home. At the beginning of this year I’ve been staying with him for 5/7 days per week. As mentioned previously, my parents will occasionally text me claiming they miss me/ to to vent about how they’re upset I do not visit on the days I’m not there. However, when I am at my parents house, no one seems to care that I’m there. They do not try to converse, when I do they only half pay attention or walk away. In my mind, I feel that I shouldn’t be stressing myself out going there for a few nights when I can just go home to my boyfriend, someone who actually respects and appreciates me.I’m still trying to fully move out but am overwhelmed with guilt over the situation. My parents house is a toxic environment, always was, and I don’t feel “at home” there. I don’t want to cut off my family, I just want to be less involved with them for the sake of my mental health. TL;DR: My family is acting toxically, but I still feel like I’m possibly TA for moving out.",AITA for not frequently communicating/visiting my family?,NTA
1112ogy,Me F 18 and my ex M 18 witch i will call F in this story. We were together for 2 years. We did everything together and I even ended up pregnant. I had to move away from him and thats where me and his issues started he’s gotten me many gift’s through time such as a pc when I was still living closer to him and  a switch lite dude to me not being able to game siting in my gaming chair that often . And fast forward to the baby being born I had him and F wasn’t there saying it would be too hard for him. And when the baby was about 3 months and he told me this ON MY BIRTHDAY. he told me he wanted nothing to do with the baby and he will never be his father and i am at horrible mother and always will be these are just some of the things he has told me and some things I won’t get into I’m already crying so much just writing this. And now he is saying he wants all the gifts he wants back because “they are his “ as he says big I disagree they are my gifts yes expensive but still my gifts I have no issue giving him the things he lent me to use but Just not my gifts. I use the pc for my school 99% of the time and the other 1 % for gaming. He is saying that the pc is his and i am not allowed on it and he will come the 16th to get the pc and everything he gave me. So AITA for not wanting to give my ex back my gifts Sorry this story is everywhere I do apologize Im just crying my eyes out idk what I’m saposed to do,AITA for not wanting to give back the gifts my ex gave me when we were together,NTA
110nmwq,"For context, my(F) biological father and mother divorced when I was very young.  My mother got custody because that’s how they wanted it(I’m assuming. They don’t like to talk about it much.) My father met another woman w a child(who he later ended up divorcing and finding yet another woman), and my mother met another man w children(whom she had a child with later on). My biological father rarely came to see me but maybe once a year(he is military). My step father raised me with my mother(although not in very ethical ways if you know what I mean. Aka physically and mentally abusive)(my mother wasn’t necessarily the best either but I was an asshole of a child so it’s understandable). Anyways, I am to be married very soon. My biological father and step mother have always been kind and supportive of me and my fiancé. My mother and step father have always been very off and cold with him. I am not sure why, when questioned, they deny it. I originally wanted both my dads to walk me down, but then I realized that my biological father only has one chance, whereas my step father will have many. I love my biological father, and my step father (despite all he has done to me and my mother). I feel guilty about making this decision, but I also feel justified in it. So am I the Ahole?",AITA for not having my step father walk me down the isle?,NTA
110w7dy,"HiThrowaway account for obvious reasons. Little backgroundSo im a Male and im with my girlfriend for 4 years now. Im very happy in this relationship and so is she, but there is this thing and i don't know if im being an AH hereSo, she was ordering some things from SHEIN like always and i didn't think much about for most of the time, but today she asked me if i want something from the site so i told her calmly""Why do you think the prices are so low, because they obviously using children to make this things and thats fucked up"" and so our conversation started about this.Now i never thought that i'm some social warrior or anything and do not press anybody to do anything if you eat meat and im vegan for example, i don't care But using children for work was big stuff and i started to buy less clothes simply because it was not ethical for meNow back to the topic we are talking about this whole thing and she just does not care and said ""it's cheap so im gonna order"" and tried to maybe even change her mind but knew it wouldnt bring anythingWhat really pissed me off was when she said ""they have to make money somehow"" when i heard that i was so angry that she would even say something like that and im like ""so its okay that they use children"" she starts to defend herself like thats not what she meant and that she meant that the kids have to make money somehow. I dont know why but i was so angry with this whole thing and even though we are not fighting anymore after a while, im still kinda salty about it.For the info we didn't have a fight before that conversation or anything, just watching some netflix.So am i the asshole? Maybe i should just stfu and leave it alone but idk i'm still pissed.",AITA for arguing with my gf about ordering clothes,NTA
110ypq7,"My husband and I separated a little bit more than a month ago. When I left him I had no money, no car, and had just gotten a new job serving tables. I’m also almost 7 months pregnant. When I left, I left with nothing but what I brought into the relationship. I have a child from a previous relationship (8F) and we both moved back in with my parents until I’m able to get back on my feet again after I give birth to my son this spring. Since I’ve been back at the family home, my dad (59M) has allowed me to drive his Silverado to get to and from work and pick up my daughter from school and take her to practices and games. It’s expensive to put gas in the tank but I don’t complain because I’m happy that my parents are helping and my dad has been happy to help me with gas when I’ve truly needed the extra help and he’s paid for the maintenance on his truck while I’ve been driving it.One day my mom (56F) texted me excitedly while I was at work and told me to call her immediately. I called when I was in between tables and she excitedly revealed that she bought me a new car! To say I was over the moon was an understatement! But here’s the catch. The car was purchased from Pull-A-Part and it needs the transmission rebuilt and some other mechanical repairs before it’s even drivable. All in all it’s close to a $5k total price. I told my mom I simply couldn’t afford it and asked her if it would be possible for her to get her money back because there is no way that I could afford it at all right now and unlikely that I would be able to afford it anytime soon. She didn’t like this. She called me ungrateful and some other choice names and begrudgingly told me that she would pay for the repairs if I paid her back out of my tax return. Problem is, I’m not getting that much money back from my taxes and I had planned to buy some necessities for the baby with the money. Ultimately, my dad stepped in and offered to pay for it for me and I am extremely grateful for him but now my mom says I’m taking advantage of them. I feel terrible about the whole situation, even though I never asked my parents to buy me a vehicle. My plan was to finance one on my own after I had my baby and got back on my feet. So now I’m asking you, Reddit. AITA?Edit for clarity: The $5k price is for the repairs alone.",AITA for “being ungrateful” about the car my mom bought me?,NTA
110ub37,"Today is my birthday celebration and I have autism. This makes a lot of things more difficult than to the average person. Especially social things.So my grandmother gifted me a ring she wanted to give me since I was 5. I never wear jewelry, and I thought I'd be a ""decent human being thing to do"" (as sometimes my brain will process things) to tell her I don't like jewelry.My aunt examined it and said it was probably worth about a thousand dollars, which made me smile and say it made sense and I could definitely sell it, but I'd feel bad if I did.My mother thought it was rude that I said that, which I don't really get because it sounds like a not-rude thing to say, and we did our usual back-and-forth until she started to cry.Everyone in my family was asking me questions and trying to get me to do things I don't like so I was understandably already upset and it was loud and bright and I didn't like it.But my mom has been telling me I need to appreciate all my presents even if I don't like them at all, which I guess is nice but it's lying, and I do not lie, because lying is bad.So am I in the wrong for not appreciating what my grandma gave me? This happens every year, but never as bad as this.Edit: Privacy concern, don't want my mom reading Bored Panda and finding this.",AITA: For not appreciating a birthday present?,YTA
110speg,"So, I have a friend that we are going to call A. A wanted to subscribe to the gym along with me so I told her that it was better if we could just pay the premium offer since it allow 2 person and it’s cheaper if we split the bill. Since A’s mother didn’t want to put her bank account I asked my mom if we could but I warned A since it last a year and we can’t unsubscribe, she said “yeah sure no problem”. I trusted her I thought that she wouldn’t betray me. But then, yesterday she texted me saying that we won’t be going anymore so she’ll stop paying, meaning that now my mom has to pay $30 every month because of her (I always felt bad using my mom’s money since we’re in a kind of difficult situation). So am I the asshole for feeling angry at my friend and thinking of ending our friendship because of that? ( I wrote this post mostly because idk what to do now and how to tell it to my mom)",AITA for being angry at my friend for not wanting to go to the gym,NTA
110x6lf,"*Its 2 hours before the party and my gf(28 old) picked me(30 old) from my apartment, so myself, gf,her mum and her dad can go to this engagement party for her cousin.**My gf and her mum share a car for daily use. We are all going to use that car to go to the party together later on. >her mum knows she has the car and where she was going at all times.* When we arrived at her parents house we have plenty of time to get ready about 1 hour and 45mins, the venue was only 15mins away.So her mum comes out of the door in an aggressive manner and start shouting at my girlfriend who was at the front door (I was still in the car at this point getting my things) She was shouting ***""where have you been? you were suppose to be here 30mins ago? that is my car! you didnt tell me you were going to the city!? (to pick me up).. I thought he was going to get the bus!?""*** thats all the key parts I remember from her shouting because those were the parts that really upset and angered me. I felt like she was directly saying it to me and hinting that she shouldnt have picked me up. I felt such an inconvenience.Where I'm from and how I was brought up you dont do that when theres a guest, especially when youre all going out that night to have a good time together.  There shouldnt be any negativity to start the night with, we had plenty of time to get ready plus its not like my gf committed a crime, she came to pick me up. I told my gf that Im not going to the engagement party anymore after that. (which I regret now because I should have been there supporting her) Given how I felt, angered and upset I wasnt thinking clean, I just didnt think it was a good idea to share a table with her mum that night and everyone will probably be able to tell because I suck at hiding it. I decided not to go to the party.Her mum and dad called 20mins later, she was saying how it was just between her and her daughter and wasnt directly towards me, but to me whether or not it was directed to me she shouldnt have started the night like that by shouting at my gf for no good reason.Next day my gf told me that her mum was really upset that I didnt go, she said I disrespected her parents.that everyone was asking for me at the party(relatives I havent met yet) and they had to make up some excuse why I wasnt there.",AITA for not going to an engagement party with my gf and her parents.,ESH
110o4bl,"So context first. I’m a high school student young.. female.. petite.. I’m constantly reminded about safety and take it very seriously. Anyway I went to go take a practice test at this test prep place and to get into the building there is an intercom security you have to go through to get in. After the test I’m waiting inside by the door (for my ride to get there) and this big burly bald guy dressed in all black comes up to the door and starts keying in the intercom thingy to get in the building and fails and he looks at me and asks me if I can open the door for him. Of course I say no.. you know security is there for a reason and the guy is like really? And so I sit there fiddling my test booklet for a good five minutes before he gets in and when he does he stops and looks at me and tells me “ there’s a thing called test prep and there’s a thing called life prep, and you little miss, you’re failing at both” and so I told him F off you bald freak and he scoffed and started walking away and under his breath he said “ punk ass kids now a day “ like I’m some piece of gum on the bottom of his shoe. So AITA for not letting this guy in and calling him a bald freak?",AITA for not letting someone I don’t know into a building then calling him a bald freak?,NTA
110x4qx,"Update: My girlfriend has acknowledged she is obviously biased in this situation, but has asked me why I can’t give up being comfortable so that her brother has a safe place to be.  When he did start paying rent, it would be cheaper than most places we’ve looked at for him briefly so that would contribute as to why our place is ideal.  They grew up in poverty and that’s obviously hard to come out of, especially if it’s generational and I’ve acknowledged my own privilege regarding this.  So I keep going back and forth on if I need to get over myself to help him out for longer.  My girlfriend and I moved into a small, 1 level, 3 bedroom rental house a few months ago with our friend. The 1 unoccupied room is very small and barely a bedroom so we made it into a common room/small library where we could be away from people but not have to be stuck in our own rooms.  My girlfriend’s 28 year old brother, who doesn’t drive or have a car, had a bad break-up with his girlfriend and essentially had to move in with their parents in their house in the middle of nowhere.  He wants to go back to school but is unsure where and for what. His parents are unbearable and kind of toxic emotionally and mentally so it’s not an ideal space for him to try and figure out his life so he’s asked to stay with us since we have that third room.We’ve told him that the best we can offer is 3 months because that is what we’d be comfortable with. He wouldn’t have to pay rent until after 3 months, just contribute to utilities, internet and food since he has the savings to do so. We were hoping in those 3 months he’d be able to have the headspace and a safe environment to figure things out, like where he wants to live and what school / program he’d want to pursue, and find a more permanent solution. He’s told us that he was expecting to stay for 6 months to a year and that basically we’d be the permanent solution.Me and our roommate’s concerns are that even though we have the 3rd room, my girlfriend’s brother is basically a stranger for our friend. When we all agreed to move in together, she did not expect to have to live with a stranger especially within such short notice.  We would have to give up a level of comfort to accommodate for a new roommate we were not expecting. And I’m aware that there is a level of privilege with having that space space but not wanting to give up being comfortable in my own home to help someone out for an extended period of time.  My gf’s brother is saying we are his only option or he’d have to go to a shelter where I don’t see the difference in him finding a room in another house, out of our space, other than him getting 3 months of living rent free.  He said he wouldn’t be able to find a job in 3 months, even just a regular part-time job in a restaurant or cafe. Even though, I was able to do in 2 weeks of moving here. I know all people are different and have varying abilities and may require certain accommodations but he’s worked in many similar jobs before and was even a supervisor at Starbucks. It just feels like he’s guilting us into saying yes even though we’ve stated what we’re comfortable with but he didn’t like our answer.I’m not sure if I’m being a privileged asshole or if I’m justified in my decision of setting a short-term limit.",AITA for not wanting my girlfriend’s brother to move in with us?,NTA
1112bce,"I, (16f) and I've been wondering if my mom (48f) will be mad at me or not if I ask her to stop joking about me gaining kilos when eating certains foods, and stop talking about anything food related, because she appears to be deflecting her own personal, very hidden issues when doing so.  My mom is at a normal healthy weight and she has started training seriously since 2020,  to a extreme point IMO, she trains without taking rest days. She even trains after recovering from falling on her knee, even I tell her she should take a break. I think she loves exercizing too much, but perhaps does it for some insecurity she doesn't tell me about. She runs miles in the morning and exercize in the afternoon.The thing is, I think she has become kinda too fixated about everything concerning food and the health of it, but she is throwing it on my face too much.For examples, if I want to drink some soda she will tell me to not do it. Today she told me not to eat the cake my brother and I love to buy (its a very sweet flavored oreo) when I said i was going to grab a bite. I asked her if the cake (that costed 20€) was just for decoration then, and she told me in an angry tone that I should go eat it then. I do 1hr of exercize daily, 4 or 5 days a week. Also, I have chronic tendinitis and I take breaks when it arrives, and she guilts me for not working out instead my legs without using my injured wrist. It feels unfair, and its really the last straw when she has issues over me eating a damn cake.I am 1.74 and weight 69 kilos and my friends have told me before that I am really jacked up, but my mom is starting to make me feel like I weight so much more kg, which is why I'm planning to tell her that she is deflecting and should not ever talk to me anymore about all this stuff, that she is making me have issues only because she has them, without even telling me and having me second guess it. I don't want to offend her, but I feel done with this whole cycle.",WIBTA if I tell my mom she is deflecting her issues on me?,NTA
110t4f1,"I have a job where I work with 2 women I supervise, Mimi and Candice.  Once upon a time, Mimi needed a place to live and Candice let her to stay with her and her family as long as she wanted. Mimi lived with Candice 3 years but then found a new home after she experienced a bad breakup.Mimi confided in me about the whole ordeal and told me that in the last months of living with Candice, that Candice had been very abusive towards her.  For instance, Mimi told me that Candice entered her room without permission and made snide comments about her cooking in the house and then told her to cook out in the garage because she could not stand the smell of her food.  Mimi told me some other things she said Candice did to her in the last months of her tenancy, but I did not comment on anything, just listened.  As Mimi relayed everything, I admit I allowed her to take up my entire day telling me about all the drama.  Mimi needed to vent, so I let her.  I was surprised at everything she told me, yet I remained very neutral in how I replied because I did not want my position as her supervisor to give the impression I would be siding with anyone since the matter did not involve me or the job.    Meanwhile, Candice never mentioned anything to me and never gave any impression there may have been issues with Mimi.  Since the situation did not involve me or the job I never felt I was in a position to confront Candice about anything.Since I am in a position to create schedules at my job, I had to place both Mimi and Candice together to work on a project, though I was hesitant based on what I learned from Mimi.  However, I felt obligated to do it because it is my job and their job and frankly, there was no one else I could place together based on other scheduling to accommodate Mimi.  Months before, Mimi had issues working with another employee I supervise (Carol) and because I felt the situation between the two of them was too much to take with their constant complaints about each other, I decided to keep Mimi and Carol separate at work.  Today when I created a schedule placing Mimi and Candice together for one day to work on an important project for a few hours, Mimi emailed me at home and asked me not to place her to work with Candice.  I told Mimi that I was sensitive to her situation with Candice but that I had to remain professional and asked that she and Candice both be professional.  I also mentioned that I did not see an issue the last time the two of them worked together and I also let Mimi know that I had intentionally accommodated her long term by keeping her and Carol from working together.  I don't want to cause trauma for anyone at the job or be insensitive, but I really want to be an effective leader, too.  However, AITA for not changing the schedule to not allow Mimi and Candice to work together?",AITA for Not Considering Mimi's Feelings?,NTA
1112a12,"My best friend (20F) is the secret child of an celebrity. The celebrity has a very private personal life that the public knows nothing about. She has been leaving breadcrumbs and trying to come out as his for the past year on social media. She has posted videos in his houses, on vacations, of his other kids, on private planes, etc. She updates everybody (and I think it’s his fans mainly) about her daily life on social media and overshares everything that has to do with herself, our friends, her relatives, her dad and her mother, drama - privacy doesn’t exist with her. She has got into fights with his fans because they think she’s fake and unhinged. She is always trying to prove herself to these people, yet they have a very warped vision of him and he can do no wrong in any situation, he’s always innocent even with proof he isn’t. She dumps everything and then deletes posts randomly. I think they know deep down there’s truth to it and they can’t take it.  Her posts are inconsistent which people think is SUS, she doesn’t want to make her father mad by going to media, she lives with him and he provides everything but she wants to leave breadcrumbs on SM and when she’s mad at him she spirals. She’s posted her birth certificate and custody papers, which his fans thought was fake. Despite my friend looking like him as well. She flips out because “he” or his special media manager occasionally makes posts on social media about his known children, for show. She knows it’s all for show and still gets publicly upset. Her relatives have been harassed by fans about her, asked if she is his and they deny it. They can’t say anything. I guess maybe they don’t want to deal with the wrath of her father and it’s just not anybodies business. They are strangers and aren’t entitled to that information. He will face massive backlash if it comes out. They think it’s weird she doesn’t post a selfie with him, yet if she did they would say it’s photoshopped. There is no convincing those people and I’ve told her this.I told her I think she should stop trying to be known as his. You are only hurting yourself. You receive the same perks as his other children, despite not being publicly known. You get whatever you want, you get to travel wherever, you get whatever special perks he gets if you are with him somewhere, you personally know him and you get to spend time with him, you are still his daughter at the end of the day, despite not being publicly known and you can live a normal life with him and perks under the radar. I really don’t think it’s going to go how you think. If you gain followers it’s because of him, not because they have interest in you. These people are so rude to you on a daily basis, and I think it’s affecting you mentally. I don’t think they deserve to know anything. You over share way too much and it’s not their business. You don’t need social media approval for being his daughter. Social media isn’t real life. People in the industry already know about you.",AITA for telling my friend that she needs to stop trying to be publicly known?,YTA
110zz0g,"For Christmas, my dad and step mom (50s) asked what I wanted from them, and I (26F) showed my dad a pair of shoes I wanted for work. I showed him the website, described the exact reason I wanted them, and showed him the two color options I liked. They never brought up the shoes again, so I just assumed they were either not buying them or my dad remembered what I had showed him. On Christmas Day, I open a box with a pair of shoes from the same company that are actually trail running shoes and not even close to the style or color I asked for. I waited until the next day then asked if they would be able to return them to get their money back and thought I would just buy the ones I wanted myself. My step mom and dad insisted that they wanted this to be a gift from them, so they would exchange the shoes and had me show them the pair I wanted.About a week later, I’m having a meal with my dad when he gets a text from my step mom with a QR code to exchange my shoes, and I once again offer to have them just return the shoes and have me purchase the pair I want that way I have them in time to wear for work. He again insists that they are taking care of it.Fast forward to yesterday, my family invites me out for breakfast and as I am heading to my car, sends me a text with a QR code and hands me a box with the shoes that they apparently never returned over the past month and a half. They tell that it’s no big deal, I just have to take the box with the QR code to the post office and the exchange will happen. After dropping the box off, I call them and tell them that I’m grateful they bought the shoes but this “gift” doesn’t really feel like a gift, it feels like a task, and I’m frustrated because I didn’t realize that they never actually exchanged the shoes and now I won’t have the pair I wanted in time for work. They immediately start telling me that it’s all my fault from the beginning for not sending them the exact link to the shoes I wanted, and that they are “so sorry” that I had to take a couple minutes out of my day to run to the post office and that I’m not grateful for them buying me expensive shoes. I stated to them multiple times that it wasn’t about the initial gift they got me that upset me, but the delay in actually exchanging the shoes and the fact that they, without asking, just expect me to take care of the exchange process. I know at this point that the shoes will be exchanged and I will likely get the shoes I originally hoped for, just late, so I feel like it was kind of pointless for me to start an argument with them, especially over a pair of shoes. AITA for complaining about the whole process of receiving this gift and about being expected to take care of the return myself?",AITA for starting an argument over a Christmas gift,NTA
1112659,"long story short: i have terrible anxiety. i suffer with GAD and SAD and possibly AvPD but my therapist has yet to send me to a psychologist for that one. it’s incredibly hard for me to talk to anyone, especially new people. thankfully, i have a lovely bf and i’m pretty comfortable with him after almost a year, but there’s a problem: my anxiety. i want his mom to like me but it’s so hard to even look at her. the thought of having to start a conversation with her makes my heart race and it makes me nauseous. today, i went to his house for the super bowl and his mom was there. when he brought me into his house, he grabbed me by my shoulders and said “talk to my mom, start a conversation with my mom. you wanna be my wife right? then please just try to talk to my mom.” right in front of her so loudly and omg i wanted to vomit. i felt so embarrassed and i couldn’t even begin to get words out. i know how important it is to him that i talk to his mom but i don’t know how to. the times i have conversated with her have been short due to me not knowing how to continue the conversations or me saying something stupid that made her laugh and walk off. i have terrible social skills especially w shit like this. i’ve never known how to talk to any of my past bfs parents either and they all ended up not liking me bc i’m too quiet and i don’t talk to them first. i want to talk to his mom and even be close with her but it seems impossible to me. i feel like a complete asshole because i know i have to talk to her, i just feel as if i cant. i want my boyfriend to realize that i’m trying but fighting this constant battle with my social anxiety 24/7 at the same time.AITA?",AITA for not starting convos with my bfs mom?,NTA
110nouz,"AITA For being angry with my mom, uncle and sister?To start I’m a 19(m) year old who’s currently in college to become a lawyer. My mom (45) was in the military but left and after, than worked about 4 Jobs; now unemployed. The problem is She decided to allow her brother (50) and his girlfriend (40?) to stay with us. They’ve been here for 7 months so far even though she told me it would be 2. This brother of hers has never stayed in a home by himself. It’s always been his mom, my aunt or his girlfriend(s) house.They don’t clean the house or after themselves, they don’t wash their hands after using the bathroom, they also don’t cook anyone any food most of the time but leave their pots and dishes in the sink. Her brother doesn’t work a job and has never really worked a job because (moms words) “child support be eating his ass up”. He has about 7 kids and take care of none of them and I believe all of the many different moms put him on child support. His car broke down (that was gifted to him by his father in his will ) and he DEBOd his mom out her car by lying to her and nagging her.  Now his mom call my mom and asks her where her car at and tell her how much she needs her car back but yet won’t tell her own son. After watching them and dealing with them for 7 months I told my mom that they are now starting to affect my mental health (grades dropping, lack of motivation to work my job, and disdain for the whole family especially his mother. She keeps telling me that the things he do don’t matter and should not be affecting me. Then, she says it’s her house and I don’t have no say so in anything and tries to compare me (19) living with her with him (50) and his girlfriend by stating “all of y’all grown and living with me what’s the difference?”. Then, she proceeds to tell me how she doesn’t have the money to pay bills. My response is always “why don’t you have the money to pay the bills if you got two grown adults living here” she responds “y’all (me 19 and my sister 18) should be paying to! (Even though I’ve given her about 10k more than the others combined, and put stuff in my name for her) Then she proceeds to tell me she wants me and my sister to pay 500 each and her brother and girlfriend to pay 500 for the both of them. My mom also has two cars that are perfectly fine but has been sitting in the garage for two years because she’s too lazy to get them jumped and registered. So my sister always has to ask me for rides or my mom tries to take my car to drive her to avoid having to use her own car. I told my sister “mommy can get her car fixed so you can drive it she’s just to lazy to do so” and my sister doesn’t respond. This sister of mine always sides with my mom on anything right or wrong. AITA for being angry at all of them?","AITA for not wanting my uncle at my home, and thinking my mom is choosing someone else over me?",NTA
110y4q6,"My mom has thyroid problems which if you didn’t know can cause almost bipolar behavior. One minute you are super angry or sad, and another minute you feel like a blobfish. My mom gets mad very easily at very stupid things. For example, this one time she had given me a box and told me to put stuff I didn’t have room for inside of it. She didn’t specify any certain way she wanted it done. I finished putting the stuff in the box and everything fit with about 1/4 of the box left with space, I thought I did an okay job since nobody was realistically going to see it. Since I was done I had decided to lay down on my bed and watch TikTok for a while. My mom stormed in and looked inside the box and turned to me to tell me I did it wrong. She then dumped everything out onto my bed and then got mad saying she shouldn’t have to do this for me. She has done this before and does it all the time (where she guilt trips me, gaslights me, or manipulates me into thinking she is the victim or that she is right). I was honestly fed up with her shit so I went off. I didn’t say anything too horrible, I just yelled at her and said that she wasn’t obligated to and that I did it in a way that is easiest for me. I also threw in that she doesn’t need to always take control of every thing I do. I felt like I stepped over the line but she had also kept saying the same thing over and over again every five minutes (that being her telling me to put the stuff in the box) which got pretty fucking annoying after thirty minutes since I was doing something else she had told me to do. I feel like I overstepped a bit and I feel bad for yelling at her since it really isn’t her fault. Am I the Asshole?",AITA for yelling back at my mom?,YTA
110zsob,"(Sorry ahead of time for the consecutive posts, I'm kinda just posting all the stuff I'm worried about on here)I (F, 15), have been diagnosed with anorexia. The main reason I have it is because of my parents. They often talk about their weight, and diets and make jokes about what I eat in front of me, and it kind of just rubbed off on me. Granted, my ED is getting a lot better, I used to go days without eating but now I'm eating almost 3 meals a day. The first time my mother heard about the possibility of me having anorexia was when I was 14. I had stopped eating/had bad eating habits since I was 13. I was at the doctor's for my physical and had been honest on that paper they make you fill out. She had brought my mom in and told her about the answers I put and she had a look of shock and sadness on it. I don't really think I'll forget it.Ever since I have been somewhat getting better but the thought is always in my mind. There are always days when I don't eat much and my parents had kind of stopped caring. They often say things like, ""It's a good thing you do so many sports."" And, ""You're all about the sweets, huh?"" I don't think they really realized what they were saying was wrong but I feel like they should've.One day my mom was talking about what I was eating. It was the first full meal I'd had in almost a year. She went on about how the weights gonna come back and bite me. I reminded her that I had an ED and that at least I'm eating. She said that I had gotten better and she was just joking. I told her that her jokes are the reason I had an ED and that I hadn't really gotten better. She got really mad at me saying that it was horrible I was blaming it on her when I could have just told her what was going on and avoided the whole ED thing.I do feel bad because she is my mother but her ""jokes"" did hurt and I feel like she should've known that. But I don't really know at this point. So AITA?",AITA for telling my mom my ED is her fault? (TW - Eating disorders),NTA
1111uo9,"Today I (29f) haven't been feeling well. Lightheaded and fatigue so I've been laying down and asking my boyfriend to cook for me what I feel I can eat. He made me vegetables and asked what I wanted in them and I said salt and pepper and when he brought the vegetables he had put fennel seeds in them. I ate it and i didn't like it so I said why did you put fennel seeds in it I only wanted salt and pepper and he said to give it some flavor. He got all huffy when I said I didn't want to eat it and he kept insisting. I said, can you make me a sandwich instead I just want egg and bacon on it. He brought the sandwich to me toasted. I told him I didn't ask for it toasted, I just wanted regular bread and he got upset and said well why didn't you say that. I said I didn't know I needed to say that. He got really upset again and started accusing me of being ungrateful. He said he has been trying all day to help me and it may not be what I want but I still should eat it. It turned into a big argument. I don't understand how he is upset that I won't eat something I don't like. Am I being ungrateful for turning down his food after asking him to cook for me because I didn't like it?",AITA for asking my bf to make me food and not eating it?,YTA
110v7b7,"Context: I (M-F, 14, Bi ) live with my family and grandma. the 6 main players are Me, L ( lesbian, F, 46 ), mom (F,36), grandma (F, 60-ish ) L's wife ( F, 48 ), and the extended family ( technically L is my great aunt, but I see her more than my uncle so I just call her aunt )  ( various ages ). me and L ( and L's wife ) are the only LGBT people in the family. She was a Key player by helping me accept and come out. now my family ( or at least my immediate family ) is kind. my mom is great but everyone else ( minus L and her S/O of course) are Christian and don't like ""the gays"". they disowned L five months after L married her wife, but I still keep in contact with them. lastly, they live 2 hours away from us. now onto the problemA few days ago i got mail ( which is rare since I barely get mail unless it's amazon ) and it was sent by L's wife. it read as follows ( this is copy paste. tho I did change this like my name, address, etc )"" Dear OP,  Me and L invite you and the rest of your family to come to XXX city to come to celebrate our anniversary on 3/12/23. I understand if your family can't or refuses to go, but we wish for YOU to come. Although if you have plans then it's fine. Either way, can you Send us a card to the address of ( their home address ) or email us at ""Fakegmail.com "".  if you tell us you can make it then tell us so in the email, and L's wife will pick you up two days prior. by L and L's wife. ""now to the problem: i DO want to go. they supported me so much, but my family does not want me to. my Mom said she will let me go if I want to, but she won't drive me. my grandmother, siblings, and extended family is telling me not to go since they hate L. but I love L and her wife, they are kind and don't deserve the discrimination. I am planning on going, but I worry that by going it may cause an uproar.So reddit WIBTA by going?",WIBTA if i went to my aunt?,YWNBTA
110k6w9,"i (F16) am part of a drama company and we’re currently doing the musical grease. to some people, it might not be a big deal but grease is a very important musical to me as i grew up with it being my favourite film and would watch it literally once a week. so, as you can imagine, i auditioned as quickly as i could.i worked my ass off for that audition and was so happy when i was cast as rizzo , my favourite character in the show and had been since i was 3. this was such a big deal to me and my mum who loves grease too. i was absolutely elated and made sure to work my hardest in rehearsals. however, the whole rehearsal process, my dad would constantly criticise me. wether it was my singing,my acting, my dancing or just the fact i was doing theatre in general. he’d argue that it was a “waste of time” and i should focus on something more important. keep in mind, my dad is a builder with barely any qualifications let alone any preforming experience which, in itself, is completely fine, but he is in no position to criticise my preforming. ive been doing musical theatre stuff like this since i was around 8 and hes always been critical of it. our show was a week ago and it ran for 5 nights and overall we did 7 shows. however, it lead to conflict when my dad asked to come see a show. i initially said yes, just happy that he was finally interested in me. but , after thinking about t it, i realised it would only hinder my performance. firstly, id be insanely nervous that hed be there judging me. secondly, my dad attended my previous show, matilda, and spent the whole show on his phone or half asleep. not to mention the criticism i received after and his complaining about what a waste of time it was. this really ruined the experience and probably my performance too (it really damaged my self esteem). thats why this time i request him not to come.he said i was out of order and that it was a nasty thing to do and my mum agreed saying that hes my father and i should respect him more, but why should i when he doesn’t respect me? although, i do feel guilt because maybe he genuinely wanted to see it. am i the asshole?",AITA for not wanting my dad at my show?,NTA
110xl3z,"My sister (26f) gets very angry with me (23f) every time I enter the kitchen if she is already in there, saying I should obviously know to wait until she's done because I'm ""getting in her way"". The last time this happened, I microwaved a burrito while she was at the stove, today it happened because I was putting food in a bowl to microwave while she was at the sink. Today she actually told me it's a huge ""social faux pas"" and ""widely known to be extremely inappropriate."" I try to not get in her way and be quick but she bumps into me and grunts a lot, as if I am a huge inconvenience no matter where I stand in the room. This fight usually(including today) ends with me saying she's being selfish and then her saying something along the lines of ""yeah well you're the most self centered person I know"" or in some other way taking a jab at my character. Is it actually a social faux pas? I've never heard of it, and if it is would it apply to siblings who live together in their parents' home?",AITA for using the kitchen while my sister is already using it?,NTA
1111nbm,"For Context: I (20F) have two older brothers,  ‘A’ (30M), ’B’ (27M). Growing up I was not close with either of them because of the age gap but I was always closer to B. A pretty much ignored me after I turned 4, which I dont blame him because he was 14 and what 14 yo wants to hand with a 4 yo. When I was 9, A moved out after a fight with my mom and I did not see him for a year and a bit When he started visiting again, he did not really work on creating a relationship with me nor did he really do anything to make up for lost time but truthfully, it didn’t super bother me because  I had B who I’d grown closer to. As the years past, A and I have a good relationship and I love him just as much as B. However, A has always picked on me more (in a brotherly way) and likes to jokingly make fun of me when I don’t get great grades. (Everyone in my family is aware of the extreme pressure I put on myself to get good grades and how not doing well negatively affects my mental health.) As for my SIL, (26F, ‘C’) she has been with B since they were 17/18 and used to babysit me. We have always gotten along and I feel like I finally got a sister in her. She is the person I go to for advice and we hang out alone together. She also was very strict on herself about grades so she has helped me with that struggle in the past. While, A and I have a good relationship, we don’t do much together and I only see him when he comes over for family dinner and the odd phone call.  Context out of the way, I am going home for reading break this week ( I go to uni in a different province) and was joking to my mom about how I was most excited to see my cats. We laughed and she asked who I was actually most excited to see and I gave a mini list. In it, I said that I was more excited to see my sister in law (24F, ‘C’) than my oldest brother. My mom started to get mad at me and said that I am unfair to him and family is family and its rude of me to want to see C more than A. She said that A has been trying to get close to me and I just brush him off, I need to put my brothers above everyone else because they are my ‘true family’. When I pointed out that C was very much my true family, she said that doesn’t count. I tried to explain to her that me not being as excited to see A as C or B does not mean that I love A any less. Nor does it mean that I don’t value him or want a relationship with him. I just like hanging with C more. She said that was super disrespectful to A and I was being selfish. We ended up having a really heated argument about this and she called me a jerk and hung up. I don’t see anything wrong with wanting to see C more than A considering how much more C and I have built our relationship but my moms strong reaction has me second guessing myself, AITA?",AITA for Wanting to See My SIL More Than My Oldest Brother?,NTA
110z9ph,"i(f17) have on multiple occasions, found my brother (m12) in the bathroom on his phone late at night. usually, i just give him a weird look and tell him to get out so i can piss or whatever. this time, however, he had locked the door, and had his airpods in, unable to hear me jiggling the handle and knocking. i was a little concerned at first that he was hurt or in danger (since in my family, if you lock the door to the bathroom you usually showering/using the toilet) since he wasnt responsive. Eventually, he came to the door and i got frustrated. I asked him why he couldn’t just stay in his room, and he said it was more comfortable in the bathroom, and he was afraid of geting in trouble w our parents for being awakw too long. I got annoyed, and ended up textinf my dad to ask why my brother can’t have the room lights on later (for context, our rooms are next to eachother, and i have no regulations whatsoever, yet at 9:00 my brother cant have any lights on. I know we are years apart, but he is probaly old enough to not need to have a set bedtime) I was mostly irritated that my brother was more afriad of getting in trouble for being in his room awake than grossed out laying on the bathroom floor. my brother told me not to tell our parents, but i wanted them to know that the rules they had for him were causing him (and me) inconvenience. I advocted he speak to them before i did, (weeks ago) and he never did, and the problem kept happening. i feel like an asshole for going against his wishes, but its made his sleep schedule worse (hes been late to school more often bc he misses the bus, and either my mom or i have had to drive him) as well as making it impossible to use the bathroom if he falls asleep in there and i dont want to wake him.",AITA for ratting out my brother,NTA
110jx1o,"Me (28F) and my boyfriend (29M) have been discussing lately cause I fall asleep while being with him and he gets angry. We have been together for years, and we always had an agreement to seeing each other one day on and the other off. Since the beginning we agreed on him coming to visit me cause his parents are very noisy and wouldn't let us be alone in his room (even we are over age), I live alone, I have an income now and he is still with them. We started agreeing on the hour being 5 pm and with time it started moving to 7pm, and now he leaves around midnight. Of course we are older than when we started dating and now I fall asleep easily when watching tv, and when he comes at my house we almost always watch movies, series or anime. So, now when we are together and I fall asleep he gets angry at me and tells me ""If I'm that boring just tell me"" and even when I explained that I get asleep no matter who I am with he still gets angry. I told him it's not fair of him to being that angry at me for something my body does automatically, and that if he wanted it to change that maybe the best option was for him to come over earlier, around 5pm as before. He said yes but hasn't make an effort to do it. Keep in mind he is unemployed and doesn't study so he doesn't have any schedule that prevents him for arriving earlier. So yesterday it happened again, he got up and started to leave and I followed him and told him it's not fair for him to be that angry. I also told him it's not like we can only see once a week and I fall asleep, we still share a lot of time together and he only has to arrive earlier to fix this issue. But it seems he doesn't care, told me again he was going to come earlier (like two months ago when we had the argument for like the third time) but he has said that before and didn't do it.So now I'm angry at him and so annoyed that it seems that I give all my effort in the relationship (I buy us snacks, sometimes buy dinner, invite him to all my social gathering he doesn't go to, invite him to go to my dads house and family parties and he doesn't go either, I stopped talking to people that annoys him) and he just doesn't do anything and keeps complaining (he also said he's going to find work so we can't move together and he still hasn't). He said ""you say I don't make any effort but I come see you!"" And I think that's like...the minimum for a relationship. The only thing he changed when I asked him is start going to therapy and taking anti depressants so at least he showed he wanted a change. But we still have this problem.So...AITA for telling him to not get angry when I fall asleep?",AITA for defending myself for falling asleep?,NTA
110utwx,"I have some friends in India, they are poor/lower caste. I'm an American. We have been friends for a while. I've been to India. Last year, I made a promise that I would help them as best as I could as they mentioned the intention of going abroad, particularly the daughter of my closest friend (a 44 year old woman). I wanted at least one of her daughters to succeed in this (because I had seen their situation and I know the difficulty of being a woman over there).They had told me that family and friends come before money. I told them I could help her with her IELTS, which she never took me up on. For her birthday, I saved up some money to send which I hoped they would put to use for a tutor or something. I was happy to give and didn't expect it back. They said they would pay me back. She made it seem like she would use the money to further advance herself, but I later found out she gave all her money to her mother who spent nearly all of it. She took the test (she took a picture of the results) and had failed. She was distraught and I encouraged her to not give up.For a year I supported them afterward. I told them to tell me their plans, I told them to save and prepare accordingly. They always seemed to have problems. I mainly communicated with her two daughters. Something seemed off about this though I know her mother was ill-educated (she was married as a child). At the time I was in a stable position, so I had no qualms about anything.Her mother had also gone around burrowing large amounts of money from neighbors she worked for. I told them this may bite them back in the future. She told me about another exam she was going to try and take. My situation started to change. I needed to start to save money for myself. My mom was getting worse. I said I couldn't give what I could before. I got angry. I said to give me time for a year to improve my career (I was working on my own exams). I started to feel bad talking to them now.I think what broke me was when she brought up a police case filed against her mom (she gave me a picture of it). I made up my mind to stop talking to them then. Maybe I should have let them suffer the consequences, but I'm not that kind of person. I told them the date I would give, I said I feel like you will never stop asking for more. All of a sudden her mother pops into the conversation with voice audio saying ""i'm like a god to her and if it wasn't for me they would be stuck in a bad situation and that they love my heart and mind. i'm misunderstanding them"".The date comes, her daughter says please understand. I said nothing. She later thanks me and then says here's my new number. I haven't heard a response from them.I feel like an asshole. I guess because I made a promise to some friends. I need some insight so I can learn from this experience. My other Indian friends say that money often gets involved even with them and their friends/family and it is a complicated problem for them.Thank you for reading.",AITA -- For Getting Angry and breaking a promise to a friend?,NTA
1111fpw,"Just wanted to understand if iam an ass for taking my time in sending an edited short film to my friend. He had a filming idea for a concept and he wanted my help filming and editing it out. I’ve promised to help for all of that but i got a job in production middle of the year and most of my time is taken by this job and I cannot give up on the job as it’s my only source of income. So finding time to edit the movie has become hard and it’s been 6 months since I sent it out, I will release it, it’s just that I need my time off from work to edit and to make it look amazing, and I’ve given my word I will send it out soon. And if anyone would ask, yes im doing it for free. AITA for making my friend wait so long to receive this project from me? Please help",AITA for being late in sending a film project to my friend,NTA
110ojob,"I(22f)  live with my parents, since it's a part of my culture (Indian). Even if I could, I wouldn't be allowed to move unless if I get married or it's for education. My parents make good money. We recently bought an apartment adjoining to our old one. We previously lived in 1 bedroom apartment (me, mum and my 2 siblings), as well as rented the aforementioned apartment which is 2 bedroom. I wasn't allowed to put any decoration in my room because it was in the rented part. My parents promised I could decorate the room however I wish when we buy it. However since we've bought the house, my mum has decided to buy another house in a different part of the city and move there. My mum has decided to put a bunk bed and a wacky ass wardrobe in my room since that is what my siblings want in the city house. Honestly, I hate the idea. I'd prefer a much different furniture and it's really expensive. (Think Victorian era mirrors and bed made of ceramic and Mahogany wood with carved details). I can only pay for parts of it. I can't afford the bed for a while. Additionally, I wanted to buy a MacBook for college because my laptop is an i3 processor from 2019 that was used by everyone in the pandemic. I am not complaining about stuff, but I don't want my siblings and their beds in my room. It's where I work from and it's where I study. Also I don't want these things immediately.  We could start with string lights and buy the bed and mirror in 2024 maybe. Just not the bunk bed and blackpink themed study tables.My parents agreed to buy it all but have started to back off from buying these because of the city house and because my dad totalled our car and we have to buy a new one. (The insurance only pays the down payment, we are buying an updated version).I told about this to my friend and she said that while she understands my frustrations, I am being an asshole because these things are expensive .I know I am being entitled and I am privileged, but am i being an asshole for making the demands?Edit 1: I paid 20% of the price because I wanted to. I am stuck with this house. This house is my probable dowry if I let my parents choose my husband. (I am 100% okay with arranged marriage, I don't care for romance). Moving out would be social Suicide. This room, and my parts of my education are only 2 things that I have some control over. The bunk bed can be put in a room adjacent to mine, only issue would be it'll be useless since only my room has an AC",AITA for making expensive demands from my parents?,YTA
110z0u8,"​I'm new to Reddit, so I don't really know how this worksI've been dating my girlfriend for the past 3 years (we're both 18, I know it's young) and she's always been the study kind of girl, but since we went to college a year ago this has been much worse. We were in the same high school, so we used to see each other every day, and HS wasn't as demanding as college, so everything was fine. Now we go to different colleges, so basically we don't get the chance to see each other as much as we used to. She's always telling me that after this one exam we are going out and spending more time together... but there's always one more after that. I'm kind of getting sick of getting disappointed every time, even tho we talked many times about it, nothing changes. We were going out on Valentine's Day (in 2 days) but right now she just asked me if we could postpone it to another week. Our anniversary is on the 28th, and she wants to also postpone it to march. I'm happy that she's doing everything she can to get good grades, but her mental health declined a lot since November, and she's always telling me that she misses me, which is confusing because I don't feel like she does any effort (not even a text from time to time).  Does anyone know what should I do at this point?(sorry for bad English, it's not my main language)",AITA for wanting to see my girlfriend more often?,NTA
110rtaw,"Hi guys,A few things to keep in mind here.  I work 3rd shift and sleep during the day.  My boyfriend and I are polyamorous.  He has a husband and we also have a mutual (male) friend who is into the same things we are.  For a while now, BF has been telling me he is going to give me something I've wanted for a long time... involving this friend, J. I'm an artist, and I have a client who is coming to my area on Valentine's day.  They commissioned a painting from me and want to pick it up that day.  So, originally the plan was that my bf was going to drive down to my place after taking his husband to work at 2PM.  We were going to spend the later afternoon/evening together, and then meet my client and exchange money/painting real quick before having dinner together.(Just me and BF, my client wasn't joining us for dinner. Just for clarity)Well, today when I woke up, bf told me he is bringing J along on Valentine's Day and they are coming to my house in the morning.  I told him that just doesn't work for me because I have to sleep at some point during the day.  I understand a lot of people just don't empathize with third shift workers.  I get it.  But the last thing I want to do after working all night is have fun with two guys, then stay up all day, go meet a client, and then go to work again that night.So I told him maybe we should just wait until Thursday/Firday when I'm off work.  He was like, ""If you're upset that I was bringing J you could have just said something.  For Christ's sake, men are dumb.  You know this.""So now he's annoyed with me.  I don't think I did anything wrong.  I am just trying to make things easier for everyone involved.  What he wants us to do with J isn't going to be very fun if I'm dead tired.  I know for him the day itself is really important.  I think he's more upset that if we do what I'm suggesting this won't be happening on February 14th (Valentine's day.)So what do yo guys think?  AITA?",AITA for wanting to reschedule Valentine's Day Plans?,NTA
1111a6g,"I am actually looking for some outside perspective as this is a very important thing going on for me and my family rn.My grandma passed away very very recently. I'm talking about days ago. I've lived with and have taken care of her for the last ~5 years, along with my aunt, who I'm very close with and she didn't live with us but came by every day to take care of what I couldn't do. It was always the two of us having to bear with the burden, but my grandma was extremely fond of my older sister, who rarely stopped by to visit. I don't hate my sister per se, but she used to be extremely cruel to me (borderline abusive) when I was younger, which has made me extremely wary of her and not able to cope with being in the same space with her for more than a couple hours without starting to dissociate or snapping. Now, I want to clarify, she HAS changed, and she is very kind to me now, but in general her personality is too much for me to handle, specially when it comes to things like loss of someone we both loved dearly (I don't deny my sister DID love my grandma, she just always had more important stuff to do than visit.) She is very extra, and suffocating in the way she goes about everything, SPECIALLY her own grief. Back to the issue right now, without my grandma home, I'm living by myself. This house isn't mine, legally it belongs to my aunt, but while she wants me to keep her up to date with what goes on here, she's made clear to me that as of right now she has no intention of neither moving in or having me move out. My sister (30F) currently lives with my dad, but she has a lot of fights and issues with my stepmother and is with one foot out of the house. Now since my grandma died, I've had her staying in my house every single day, and I'm going insane.   Every day she makes a different excuse to continue to stay, and even when I set boundaries, she continues to bend them. I understand we're both grieving for someone we both loved very much, and that family should stick together at times like this, but I really just want to be left alone, and I can't begin to process my own grief because I am constantly having to deal with hers. I feel like I should have a bit more of a priority here when it comes to my feelings because my grandma was everything I cared about for the last few years, while in her case it was a visit every now and then. I don't mean to measure our pain because I know that's stupid, but I can't help but feel like it's unfair I'm not even allowed to ask to be left the fuck alone at MY house because of her. I've told her, kindly, that I want to be left alone to process the way my life is changing from now on, but she continues to play dumb and stay. I straight up want to kick her out at this point, but given the situation at hand and the fact that my grandma loved her so much and would beg me to be patient with her, I can't help but ask AITA?",AITA for not wanting my sister in my house after my grandma passed away?,NTA
11119e4,"It started off when my friend (let's call her Lucy) started joking about how me and some other friends get no bitches. Y'know, just the typical ""HAHA, YOU'RE BITCHLESS!!!"" kind of jokes. I was at working through most of the day, so when I got home I decided to have some me time because the rush hours before the Super Bowl were fucking hell.I slept through it, and I asked my friends what'd I miss. Lucy's boyfriend started explaining that her and my other friend (let's call her Anna) were obsessing over Rihanna. Lucy misinterpreted it and thought he was making fun of them. I decided to send a picture of a reply with the skeleton trying to say something but rethinking what he was gonna say. Lucy, out of nowhere, decided to tell me again that I get no bitches and that I'm single. I just decided to just stop talking after that.Cut to an hour later, Lucy sends a funny dancing gif, and I reply by saying ""Pfff-"". Lucy, again, decides to call me bitchless again out of nowhere. She kept saying that I get zero bitches now. It was honestly starting to get annoying and on my nerves, and it started hurting that she was right, and after that, she said to stop laughing over her and Anna's excitement over Rihanna, but I didn't even make fun of them over that that time.I said ""What the fuck"", and her response was ""You also the reason why straight girls go lesbain and lesbian girls get more lesbian  alongside Turing gay men straight"". After that, she kept telling me to ""bow down to our queen"". I was getting pissed off at this point with Lucy because she wasn't getting the hint that I was getting upset, but she still continued. The final straw was how she compared me to her 3 year relationship with her boyfriend and how easily Anna got a boyfriend in 2 days ago. She even said ""Like Rihanna sang in one of her songs ""You look so dumb right now"""".That was the final straw that I had with her and I said that she was pushing it. She still didn't get the message and said ""Bow to Rihanna and it'll be over"". At that point, I had to make it clear that I wasn't joking around and I directly told her to stop it. After that, Lucy said ""Tch fucking fun killer"", and I thought that maybe I was being oversensitive to the joke. Am I the asshole?",AITA for taking my friend's joke too seriously?,NTA