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English | I am done I can't do anything to bring my life to normal failed as a friend as a student and as a son I want to die Got no friends in real life nor I talk with my parents neither got any aim do something in life I tried to erase these thoughts by thinking my old memories of school life but I never had any good one Video games helped me to fill the emptiness but I got bored with them The foolish things I have done in my life gives me regret I am really a coward POS There is no reason for me to live |
French | Une fois que je suis à la maison, je vais aller à ma place et je vais juste rester là Peut-être que je vais sauter Félicitations les gens que vous m'avez cassé GG bien joué |
English | I think I'm about drive into a tree m drinking a lot and I m done |
French | Personne ne se soucie de moi au point où je n'ai pas d'amis, les parents ne se soucient pas et aucun espoir d'une relation amoureuse en raison de la faible estime de soi et de la confiance en soi due au trouble bipolaire Tout ce que j'aime faire seul est mauvais pour ma santé Tout ce que je veux vraiment, c'est que quelqu'un se soucie de mon bien-être J'ai essayé de rejoindre des clubs et des groupes |
French | Mon père m'a blessé Il y a environ un mois, je lui ai avoué que tout ce que je pouvais penser me tuer et que j'ai besoin de trouver de l'aide Il a volé dans une rage et m'a dit que j'avais toutes les chances de réussir qu'il allait prendre mon téléphone parce que plus d'isolement rend toujours les choses mieux yay que si je viens d'écouter ses conseils, je ne serais pas en train de passer par ce |
French | J'ai peur que je vais me tuer seulement et j'ai l'impression que la vie est trop lourde La vie pour moi est ennuyeuse, répétitive et trop douloureuse Quand j'étais plus jeune, j'avais l'habitude de littéralement me cogner la tête contre le mur, une forme d'automutilation, vous pourriez dire, mais maintenant je n'ai même pas l'effort de le faire. |
English | I think I'm a pedophile and I'd rather die than become an offender WARNING Some people will probably find this downright sickening I can't blame them Don't read if the subject troubles disgusts you I'll cut right to the chase I m fifteen years old and there hasn't been a day in almost four months when I haven't battled with myself over whether I'm a Pedro It started in March shortly after the stay at home order come out in my part of the world I was masturbating one evening when my little brother s face popped into my head he's I tried to brush it off that evening but the thought of me being something that I absolutely despised stayed with me, I couldn't let it go Despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary at the time the thought stayed with me None of this was helped by the spike in Maps Minor Attracted People for those fortunate enough to not know of these people appearing on Twitter at the time and what seemed like an increase of child sex offense in the news although looking back this was probably just my brain cherry-picking Anyway the thoughts persisted I started masturbating more often to keep sexual thoughts out of my mind I started to try and test myself where I envisioned sexual scenarios that were pedophilia in nature to see how I would react At first my mind refused to go there When it finally did results were as I would have hoped at least until they weren't This led to something even worse I couldn't look at younger boys without thinking about sex At first I didn't even think about fucking them just about how much I didn't want to But eventually that changed Soon I thought about having sex with every underage boy that was feasibly in his double digits as a matter of habit Following that I started to get aroused by it, I lost interest in porn that used to arouse me Actually lost interest isn't the right word I couldn't be aroused by it anymore or at least I thought I couldn't That was very distressing to me to say the least So I went to the next obvious step I started browsing Chan s b board to find Sharon porn drawn porn of young boys And again at first I couldn't get a reaction from it but soon enough I was popping boners from it, I refused to jack off to it, I guess as a matter of principle Just recently me and my family went to a resort for vacation On our second day we go to the pool Lo and behold there were scores of young boys that I couldn't keep my eyes off of And I felt horrible I ran off to locker room and locked myself in a stall out of shame I was in there for minutes until my mother came and got me And that's basically how I've been living for almost four months An endless cycle of self-hatred bargaining and self-pity in my head But it's almost like waking from a dream when I try to write all the details down Naturally it drudged up plenty of suicidal thoughts I've considered all sorts of things I tried giving up porn masturbation That didn't last long I tried giving up shot porn I always relapse after a few days though I'm going on a week clean as of today I researched castration That would throw off my puberty I tried going on sites where I could talk to psychologists The ones I tried either failed to submit for some reason or yielded no help I'd love to seek therapy but what happens when I do I have to tell my mom who inevitably tells my whole family and the therapist has to tell the school All this is putting aside that it'll cost my family a pretty penny I also worry that if I am a Pedro that it s all my fault I started watching porn at a very young age I was when I saw my dad search for images of women topless on his computer and naturally monkey see monkey do From what I read pesos tend to become this way from either abuse or young sexual experiences I've lost interest in all of my old hobbies I stopped watching Years that I used to enjoy I guess because I felt bad that I was a bad person enjoying all of these things I guess I feel like I don't deserve it Sorry I got really off-topic there Point being I don't want to risk offense I would rather be asexual if it meant I felt like myself but that's impossible I can't live with the endless morbid thoughts for the rest of my life The only alternative is suicide I figure that if I'm a danger to those around me, it would be better for me not to be around at all |
English | A month since I don't speak to anybody sorry for my English I'm from Argentina and my English it's not perfect A month since I broke up with my girlfriend She was everything to me What remains I don't think I can get over it I decided to commit suicide I spent almost years in solitude until she appeared and literally take me and show me the light It showed me what it feels like to be loved and to dream of a future It's not all about that It's also for my self-esteem It's also for my fucking stressful school and homework in the quarantine It's also because I repeated class family problems etc. I hurt myself when I have panic attacks or when i just want to stop the pain Maybe I need psychological help but I've tried like times and didn't work I just It's so fucking painful think that I'm a failure needing another person to feel better it's like pathetic I just Don't have nobody to trust it's just loneliness pain and me I'm not doing any homework I just accumulated lots and lots because I'm not going to live for another year Thanks if you read all my problems i just always wrote this kind of thing in the cell phone notes and with this post I just want to feel how it would feel to have a person read your problems for a last time |
English | I know i m selfish for ending my life but i m not sure how I can justify continuing to suffer Exactly like the title says I've heard lots of people tell me that i shouldn't exit because i ll deeply hurt those close to me, I can get on board with that argument I don't want to hurt anyone And just because the act of ending my life is intended to end my suffering and not hurt others that doesn't absolve me of the collateral damage just like shooting a missile to kill known terrorists might be itself justifiable but the collateral damage of killing the children beside those particular terrorists isn't I can get on board with that argument to The follow-up is the hard part Am I supposed to wait until they those close to me die so I can end my life The logic is that once they are gone i ll have no one close to me Unfortunately I'm certain I cannot take another few decades of my life the last two with this depression was quite enough Am I supposed to go homeless but keep up appearances in their lives i m too shattered to keep working now My finances are slowly draining away and while I have a bit of cash on the clock it won't be long before i m a penniless waste of space These people will not support me when I finally get evicted Are they to see me for the rest of their lives as a homeless vagrant Yes they'll suffer when I die I acknowledge that Am I supposed to suffer life for them, I'm not even actually a part of their lives any more I don't see them for months at a time What is it about my presence that they honestly would suffer from not having I asked them I got answers ranging from they needed me to fix their computers to they liked my sense of humor Other people can fill those roles is there something about my ridiculously hansom face they can't live without I'll leave pictures I honestly thought life was about maximizing happiness and minimizing suffering But there doesn't seem to be workable solution here To maximize the happiness of others I have to minimize my happiness and maximize my suffering Now to minimize my suffering i ll maximize the suffering of others It's not fair I have to suffer monstrously to keep up appearances for people I only see a few times a year But that's what i m supposed to do I m required to suffer for others I can no longer justify that I'm selfish |
English | I'm tired Don't really know how much longer I can cope a couple of weeks maybe My dad feels I'm just taking the piss Don't particularly want to die just want an end to this Suicide seems the right way to go |
English | A motive been living with tinnitus for some time now I can't get used to it, I can't sleep and every moment of silence I can hear it right in my ear I can't stand it any more I've cried and cried but it doesn't stop I know people live with it and I might be exaggerating but I can't handle it I did this to myself and I want to die |
English | I think it s time for me to seriously start considering suicide am an ethnic man and will never be as attractive as a white male what's the point of living if my race determines my ranking in dating I'm just a second choice please try to prove me wrong till only make me want to kill myself even fucking more |
English | I wish I was never born Suicidal personality Hi people I m in my mid s and I've been convinced that life is more pain than joy for as long as I can remember Even in happy periods of my life I remember thinking that not existing is a better fate than living I have clear memories of me thinking and expressing this concept during every stage of my life I only feel a strong wish to stay alive during the happiest phases of acute bliss They're obviously pretty rare as their counterparts the darkest peaks of depression Currently I'm depressed I've been depressed for at least months now I've been depressed many times in the past too since my teenage years I always recovered, and I believe that I'll recover this time as well But that won't change my stance on being alive I'm not suicidal Or at least I'm not going to attempt suicide anytime soon but I wish I could, I cannot do it because I don't want to hurt my parents my partner and the people I love I'd rather suffer myself and wait for a bit longer Once my parents and partner are gone I'll find a way to say goodbye to all my friends and relatives maybe I'll say I'm becoming a hermit or joining an enclosed religious order and will make my body disappear I feel somewhat afraid of dying and I blame my parents and society for giving me this fear In the past the fear was stronger but I think I m be over it by now I've talked to many depressed people who feel like they're not worthy They feel like everybody would be better off without them and they're not worth the air they breathe I don't feel that way at all I'm probably too much of a selfish person I believe that I should have more rights than I m given I feel resentful towards my parents for forcing me to exist and guilting me into staying alive I feel resentful towards society for increasing my pain for all the injustice unfairness inequality all the bullshit I don't want to stop living to make others better I want to do it to spare myself from the pain frustration and annoyance that awaits us all at times in the future There's a lot of natural and unavoidable pain sadness anger and frustration coming and going So many nuisances chores and responsibilities Tasks that I feel forced to put an effort in Stress Even physical paint at times If I were not living I wouldn't feel any of that I wouldn't feel joy or happiness either but I'd be happy to give up all of it After all everything will come to an end anyway sooner or later I hate this mild anxiety of unavoidable death too I'd prefer to cut it short now I'm a very lucky person I'm well off healthy loved But that's apparently not enough to make me feel good So many people who have worse situations feel a lot more positive towards life I believe that my death wish is more of a personality trait than anything else I'd be happy to change my mind about this I'd also be happy to feel better right now and in the future obviously I've opened up to plenty people I've been discussing all of this with several friends They don't seem too worried After all I'm expressing a lucid philosophical conversation not a hidden cry for help I'm not suicidal currently and I'm just soberly discussing my long term plan Does anybody have a solution for how I'm feeling Some words that could make me feel better or slightly move my perspective I know that many people have share my feelings on living did any of you manage to change amp x B One last thing When discussing suicide so many people bring up emotional topics try to scare us off beg us to reconsider it In many cases that's the right thing to do like when someone wants to commit suicide over some temporary and fixable issue What I'm feeling is an aspect of my personality though Or, so I believe A helpline and some pleas wouldn't help I'd rather discuss in a sober and lucid way about thought ideas mindset and attitude I think it could also be helpful to have a pragmatic discussion about taboo topics like what's the best way to pass away minimizing our suffering and the suffering of our loved ones Is there any community where this kind of conversation is allowed and approached sensibly |
English | I'm suicidal due to getting help is difficult I m years old who have had suicidal thoughts for over years I'm not sure if this even counts as an attempt, but my first attempt was at college years ago when I had anorexia Painkillers I did have a lot of stomach pain, and I was very close to going to the hospital, but I spent days in my bed before the pain was gone I do want to get help but the free therapy that you can get in England apparently does not have my attempts of referral It has been over months My parents were able to find my private therapy, but she charges a lot of money just for one lesson I could spend the money on DID merch and having one lesson with her is making me very, very anxious Whenever I contact any suicidal number they somehow find my parents mobile number and contact them My parents get confused each time because they do not even explain to them that their daughter called them because she is being a suicidal little shit I really would like to know how they find my parents phone number when I tell them each time to please not contact anyone else I have told each of my past therapists that I am suicidal hoping that one of them would get me put in a hospital in a few days so that I would not end up killing myself None of them told anyone at all because getting courage to tell a doctor or a hospital that I want to kill myself is too difficult for me to do due to anxiety and trust issues Due to all of this happening I have sadly started to eat less control how much I eat which is eating back to my anorexia When I tried to get help for my anorexia years ago I went to ask help from different doctor and different nurses who rejected me because I was at a healthy weight |
French | C'est mon anniversaire et le sentiment de tristesse prend le dessus J'ai posté dans un autre groupe, mais ils ont également dit de poster ici Donc, c'est là Tout le monde Donc oui, c'est mon anniversaire aujourd'hui et pour la semaine dernière, je me suis senti suicidaire. |
French | Coincé dans une relation sans amour seulement gardé autour parce que ce que je fais et donne à eux, c'est assez évident Coincé avec eux et leur famille semblant le mien m'a abandonné au hasard N'avoir nulle part où aller soit Leurs enfants sont si horribles Je ne veux pas de mon propre maintenant semblant que je traite avec eux à peu près à des heures par jour De prendre un congé de mon travail pour gérer tout le stress Je suis fatigué de tout cela et ne vois aucune lumière |
English | I made a sub for all of us This is our new second home HTTPS WWW Reddit com r SuicideWatchCommunity UTM medium android app amp UTM source share Suicide watch community I live and love this sub I come on here every single day to support and love and to know I don't face this alone and even when I'm completely alone I can come on here at any time and feel completely surrounded But I still lack friends and family around me that understand It's hard as hell finding connections and friends these days especially when were hinder and attacked constantly by darkness Well this sub is made for and only for the people of Suicide Watch and for all of us to come together for support activities social and friendships and connections This is a new sub and if you're interested please join and get this started just how this beautiful sub started |
French | J'ai pensé au suicide beaucoup de penser à ce sujet tous les jours, je mets à mon bureau au travail et juste penser à quel point il serait génial de ne pas être dans la tourmente constante, j'ai récemment divorcé d'une femme qui a supporté ma dépression et l'irritabilité jusqu'à ce qu'elle ne puisse plus je suis un homme d'un an déjà à la maison à un appartement avec personne à partager ma vie. |
French | C'est un post sur mes problèmes Les derniers mois, tout ce que j'ai fait, c'est de me plaindre de mes problèmes. Ce n'est pas quelque chose que j'avais l'habitude de faire. J'espérais que quelqu'un comprenne. Mais tout le monde ne dit rien. |
English | This is driving me fucking insane One minute I'm fine Then I realize that at this very second my wife is probably slobbering all over some guy s nasty disease ridden prick on the other side of my world Or he's slapping her ass and she's begging for more Or they just finished and now they've cuddled each other into a stupor whispering sweet nothing's into each other s ears Am I jealous You fucking bet I don't want to be separated I don't want this to continue I want to be with her again I want her to be mine again Marital separation is driving me to the brink of human sanity and mortality I have no idea what to do with myself late at night because I can think of nothing else but how badly I want to be laying with her in bed falling asleep with my arms wrapped around her like we used to Hell I'll be happy with even a simple promise that she'll come back that she'll love me Or to end the separation by saying I love you to each other and staying faithful until she s done with school where she s at or something I just want her heart again The worst part is this entire charade is MY fault I don't even know what happened For some reason I wanted to divorce her but I'm not sure why I somehow got her to agree to separation once she was living a few states over she made no explicit promises of ever returning to me though I wasn't abusive I don't I don't think I was mean I honestly think I had a fit of mental psychosis or depression or something because the details of the whole ordeal are so fuzzy and distant that I can't even tell what s fact or fiction It feels like I hit my head really hard on something and forgot a month or two of my life Because I don't remember jack shit But I'm so incredibly unfathomably terrified that I will never ever get to see her or hold her again whether from her own choice or from her getting in some kind of accident killed in a wreck raped whatever that it's driving me absolutely mad My regret is so intangible and so indescribable I have never felt so fucking stupid and so wronged by myself at all in my entire life I fucked this up I caused all of this I have never experienced anything in my life that feels as purely and completely fucking WRONG as this entire situation It feels like an absolute perversion of reality It doesn't even feel like it's actually fucking happening AT ALL sometimes I catch myself coming home from work at night and looking in the kitchen to see if she's in there concocting some new culinary experiment to subject me to I have a hard time being optimistic because she's a mechanical calculating logical thinker For her to come back there would have to be some sort of gain for her existence something to help her But I feel like I don't offer her anything of value I am an imaginary number in her equation And I have no idea how to turn myself into something that will be of benefit to her, she thinks of things like business contracts it seems If I want her to come back there has to be something in it for her Or at least that's how it seems I'm probably just freaking out I know she wants an assertive dominant masculine male who isn't afraid of social situations and who stands up for himself and is proud of who he is I don't know how to do that The pure pain that wracks my heart and my gut is enough that it makes me want to just fucking end it all It hurts too much I can't focus on anything at all I'm a fumbling moron at work I don't have any drive or energy or focus to do anything basic that needs to be done at home I've tried tricking and fooling myself into believing that I'm okay that it'll all be fine but I can't do this any more Maybe if I end it I'll wake up and I'll come back into reality where none of this happened in the first place I don't know of any other way to show her just how truly deep my regret is and how much I love her |
English | I don't think I want to keep going any more My family is either awful racist bigots that don't care about me or they actively think I'm a terrible freak who doesn't belong then there are the ones who abuse me I have depression anxiety I'm pretty stunted socially due to the problems I have with autism and I've got epilepsy brought on by a brain deformation I can't be treated for anything but my epilepsy and the meds make me so sleepy that I literally could sleep for days on end and not care I then feel sad guilty terrible for sleeping a lot when I do and hate myself more My girlfriend who I d dated long distance and finally gotten to meet in person just weeks ago no longer wants to date me I have some subtle things that remind her of her abusive ex and she just isn't ready to date someone she realized this after having a physical date with me and all but I don't hold it against her, She has good reasons I have school coming up again and if I fail a very specific class I will be kicked out of my major and never allowed to attempt again at this college All my work wasted after these years and I already did poorly enough to have to take the class again I can't find anything fun to do anymore or enjoy most anything anymore at all I think I'm going to kill myself jump off a tall building preferably and swan dive into the pavement My hopes dreams wants are all about to be gone or already are I'm not skilled or talented good-looking either for all that matters and I'm incapable of functioning well without help Why should I live any longer What is the point of living with all this on my shoulders |
French | Après un long temps de cul, je l'ai fait, je me coupe, ça fait si mal et j'avais juste besoin de ressentir quelque chose que je veux être heureux, mais cela ne fonctionne jamais, la douleur fait si mal qu'elle ne disparaît jamais, peu importe ce que je fais |
French | Je suis pris dans un cercle vicieux déprimant entre vouloir me tuer et ne pas le faire parce que je crois que c'est égoïste et injuste pour les amis de la famille Pour empirer les choses Je n'ai personne à blâmer sauf moi Mes pensées s'attardent sur les occasions manquées et les romans qui m'ont laissé un homme d'un an qui a gaspillé les meilleures années de sa vie Je ne suis pas encouragé à travailler |
French | S'il vous plaît faire l'arrêt de la douleur ne peut pas faire cela plus Il ne sera jamais mieux |
French | Soulagement Parfois, mon esprit court et je ne peux pas l'attraper Quel est le but de la réflexion si elle ne conduit qu'à plus de tension Une perspective imparfaite Dans le miroir est seulement un souhait de mort La possibilité qu'il s'améliore Est-ce que c'est moi ou est-ce eux qui tombe à la pression que je questionne où je suis tous les jours, et honnêtement, il ne semble jamais que la victime tombe |
French | Pilules éclatantes vient d'écrire la note et je saute des pilules au lit Je déteste l'existence et je me sens complètement et totalement jetable Ma petite amie d'années a rompu avec moi après avoir dit que je suis ennuyeux et un petit ami terrible et elle m'a dit qu'elle ne se soucierait pas si je me tue et maintenant elle ne me répond pas elle me laisse juste sur la lecture Je sais que cela semble si pathétique, mais elle est juste |
English | September rd Barbiturates which are proving difficult to acquire or Jumping Incoming Masturbatory Emo Life Story I wrote the notes to my parents to mitigate any damage this might have on their marriage I wrote a note to my sister because she is emotionally unstable And I wrote one to my little brother so he doesn't feel left out I owe them at least that I've failed at everything I've ever attempted except SSB on N and repeatedly getting arrested for alcohol induced incidents My uneducated hardworking parents have provided me with just about every advantage they could muster even sacrificing their retirements to help me pay for college My entire life I've found it hard to relate to other people When I was and I used to get ulcers In junior high and high school I began failing classes mostly due to apathy which manifested itself as a lack of effort Eventually after a miserable high school experience where my cynicism and sarcastic humor made me an outcast like everyone else in on insert arrogant self-pitying community I graduated with a GPA and an on my ACT I applied to two middle tier state schools and didn't get in I was crushed but ready to start my shitty mundane life at a community college while working a shitty brainless job with people who gave up on their dreams and ambitions My mom thought this path would be emotionally unhealthy for me so after one summer of community college classes she applied me to a bottom tier state school that accepted me Freshman year I had the best and worst times of my life All of my classes were so easy that I got A s and B s in them without buying books and almost never attending This meant I could contribute nearly all of my time to my new biggest hobby drinking I'd drink nights a week smoke pot or afternoons a week and usually pull an all-nighter with study drugs once a week to write the occasional paper For some reason this lifestyle made me very popular with nearly everyone I met I joined a fraternity and began trading my paper writing abilities for booze cash and other drugs As one might expect constant intoxication got me into trouble with the police several times and I got suspended from school at the end of second semester I also was arrested charged with two felonies and three misdemeanors My parents came to the rescue and poured thousands of dollars on a lawyer and legal fees to get it dropped to one misdemeanor with a felony and misdemeanor on deferred sentence with a month probationary period My good grades from freshman year allowed me to transfer to one of the middle tier state schools I failed to enter out of high school I spent the next three semesters isolating myself minimizing my drinking to one night a week and quitting pot These were very dark times for me, I had very few friends none of which meant more to me than people to drink with My sex life dropped off the map But I had the internet porn Reddit counterstrike and when I felt really down I d drive to visit my old friends and spend whatever spare money I had on blow and booze Things will get better I told myself I turned and became a weekend warrior I went on road trips often alone but sometimes with friends to visit cities other universities concerts and huge parties I quit my job because I thought extra free time might help me clog up that little black pit that sucks the life out of me That deep one that sits right below your sternum and makes your heart and stomach tighten up Something out there had to be worth living for right Well I was wrong I went back to drinking heavily which as always provided that temporary apathetic relief Then I got arrested again That fucks up my probation and odds are I'm going to prison in fall for somewhere between months and years I m in debt I haven't told my parents because this would destroy our relationship and maybe theirs as well I don't feel anything for anyone except for the loyalty and sympathy I owe my parents Over the weekend I went to a party and got laid for the first time in a very long time Didn't feel anything I've never been in a relationship I can't connect with anyone All I can see are everyone s flaws unless I'm too shit-faced to care All I've ever done is use people like I'm using you right now Love is a chemical and physiological delusion that mutated to increase the procreation and preservation of creatures I just don't know if I have it in me One night last year I had a couple drinks to thin the blood got my heart pumping and started to slit my wrists Coincidentally my mother called at that very moment and I felt so guilty I stopped and talked to her, She called to see how I was doing because I hadn't been sleeping very well I decided I would put it off for her Is that love or loyalty Does it matter Probably not Semantics allow for pedantic antics I told people the scars on my wrist were from tripping onto gravel This summer I have plans to go to Europe and see the sights Dance With Dragons is coming out in July so I'll get to read that before I die Maybe I'll try magic mushrooms If my credit cards aren't completely maxed out I might go to Lollapalooza A guy I was once friends with is going to sell me life insurance that will allegedly pay out on suicide to help my parents out It's empowering to have the date set When I am at my weakest now I know it won't be much longer I don't have to worry about the future Maybe even the insomnia will go away I'm not religious but death has never seemed like such a bad thing to me Thank you, SW, for helping me and others I might be selfish and emotionally retarded but I have enough empathy to see that you guys do great work here You can't save everyone but you helped me make my life on my terms Good luck |
English | Lonely Night isn't it My legs still hurt from the last three days of cutting I'm just out here trying to keep the demons at bay I wouldn't mind some company on this ledge I'll even share my smokes Send me a message if you want to whether the storm together If not I hope I catch you guys on the other side moody |
French | Pensées à propos de me pendre dernièrement Mon anxiété est mauvaise et je viens de m'étouffer jusqu'à ce que mon visage devienne rouge et m'étouffer jusqu'à ce que mes yeux deviennent rouges avec une ceinture J'agis parfois comme si je me penchais avec la ceinture J'espère que si tout le reste échoue dans la vie comme c'est maintenant avec l'école et me sentant désespéré et déprimé chaque jour, je serai bientôt prêt à me suicider. |
English | I think about killing myself a lot as much as I think about ending my life at this very moment the urge is the greatest I've ever felt right now I feel my choices are to admit myself to some hospital or therapy group or chug whatever fucking chemical I find in my bathroom kitchen I'm feeling low and I can't keep numbing myself with weed or alcohol |
French | Trop cassé pour réparer Est-ce que quelqu'un d'autre pense que tous les problèmes qu'ils ont ne peuvent pas être résolus et que vous êtes trop loin dans le trou pour dire qu'il n'y a rien que vous puissiez faire pour vous battre pour la vie que vous voulez Je suis si désespéré pour l'avenir Je suis presque dans la douleur physique |
English | Suicide Whats a better solution to avoid suicide |
English | I hate people hate people all they do is yell at me, I hate people all they do is yell at me, I hate people all they do is yell at me, I hate people all they do is yell at me, I hate people all they do is yell at me, I hate people all they do is yell at me, I hate people all they do is yell at me, I hate people all they do is yell at me, I hate people all they do is yell at me, I hate people all they do is yell at me, I hate people all they do is yell at me, I hate people all they do is yell at me, I hate people all they do is yell at me, I hate people all they do is yell at me, I hate people all they do is yell at me, I hate people all they do is yell at me, I hate people all they do is yell at me, I hate people all they do is yell at me, I hate people all they do is yell at me, I hate people all they do is yell at me, I hate people all they do is yell at me, I hate people all they do is yell at me, I hate people all they do is yell at me, I hate people all they do is yell at me |
French | null |
French | L'acceptation croit que les choses ne s'amélioreront jamais et que certaines personnes ne sont pas censées être ici Cette tristesse en moi ne disparaît jamais Je n'ai jamais vu un point dans la vie Je suis si vide et perdu Quand les choses semblent meilleures Je suis incapable de me sentir heureux Je ne pense pas que la vie est pour moi Chaque jour est un combat Peu importe comment j'essaie d'obtenir de l'aide Je ne peux pas être si seul |
French | Je termine le jour du Nouvel An que j'ai posté sur ici avant et la seule réponse était un commentaire de troll alors IDK pourquoi je poste à nouveau Je suppose que je dois organiser mes pensées, je dois organiser mes pensées, je dois payer mon salaire, je dois payer mon salaire, je dois payer mon salaire. |
French | C'est tellement dur et le souhait saoudien que je puisse vous sauver tous |
English | Why did I hope m so stupid Why did I ever think I had value Why did I start to believe anything anyone has said I don't have value I'm worthless I don't deserve to be happy I don't know why I let myself think I could be I'm only here to hurt I'm only here to hope and be let down I'm a mess I'm broken I'm not worthy of the life I dream about All I want to do is cry All I want to do is be done hurting Why do I let myself hope Why do I try How long until I learn my lesson Stop believing in yourself Stop believing in others They don't care about you and never will You're here for them, You're never going to be human |
English | My friends saved my life on Halloween Part of me wishes they didn't Times are tough my friends |
French | La seule chose qui me garde en vie est ce que ça ferait à ma famille. Je suis extrêmement chanceux et assez beau. J'ai fait un homme de fer et je suis sur le point d'obtenir mon baccalauréat en sciences. Je ne veux plus continuer à vivre. Je ne tire plus de bonheur de quoi que ce soit. Et peu importe ce que je fais, c'est assez bien pour moi. |
English | I feel akin to a fox caught in a bear trap a few moments before it decides it'll gnaw off its own leg in order to escape really feel trapped in this current life with no way out and it's overwhelming and so scary I'm becoming increasingly convinced the only way out is death yet at the same time as an undercurrent I have the desire to survive and pursue happiness I wish I d simply not been born |
French | Suicide par pendaison Combien d'entre vous ont tenté de se suicider par pendaison Pourquoi a-t-il échoué Quelles étaient les conséquences i e blessure physique retombées familiales, etc. Si vous deviez tenter à nouveau ce que vous feriez différemment |
French | Est-ce la fin fuck it i m perdre espoir NYC a beaucoup de gens et je ne peux pas sembler cliquer avec un ami qui vivent dans un autre état me parle à peine et parfois éviter mes messages si je lui envoie comment je me sentais en ce moment que je pense à faire quelque chose qu'elle serait fâchée contre moi, je veux aussi dire à mon ex-petite amie qui me traite comme je suis invisible mais oh attendez elle dit que nous devrions |
French | Les temps sont si lents Nous sommes tous à mourir à partir du moment où nous sommes nés, mais j'aimerais que ce soit plus rapide, je veux juste être au mauvais endroit au bon moment, je ne vais plus prendre ma propre vie parce que je me suis rendu compte que je ne peux plus attendre quelque chose d'autre pour le faire pour moi, j'espère que cela peut soulager la douleur laissée derrière même un peu. |
English | The struggle of existence Beat my logic so I don't literally argue myself to death Life has been painful and filled with suffering Life will continue to be painful and filled with suffering Life is meaningless My pain and suffering are meaningless Thus I should kill myself Implied assumptions medical conditions which promise chronic consistency exist for I if life was worth living it would have a point To have a point means a reason whether from God or a higher power but not man made There literally is no good reason to live oh but what about experiencing the few highs in a life full of woes To struggle every second of the day with thoughts that attack and paralyze the body in addition to a constant head and bodily pain every activity a struggle I really don't know how I'm still alive Focusing and finding things to look forward to only mask the struggle of existence |
French | Comment êtes-vous censé faire face aux idées suicidaires On m'a diagnostiqué des idées suicidaires Mes parents n'ont rien fait à ce sujet et devinez ce que j'ai fait ce week-end J'ai essayé de me suicider Quelle grande question Comment puis-je y faire face |
English | Nothing to live for am a functioning alcoholic I have nothing to live for Nothing feels rewarding to me at all The one thing I had my relationship is a disaster Have been a functional alcoholic since Here I am getting drunk for the third night in a row And the only things I feel are overwhelming sadness and anger and the desire to kill myself |
French | Est-ce que tu n'as jamais été le seul à aider quelqu'un ? Vraiment, je ne comprends pas tout à fait. Comment est-ce que je me dis que je ne suis pas la seule personne suicidaire au monde qui va m'aider à ne pas me sentir suicidaire ? Pourquoi suis-je censé m'en soucier ? |
French | Je ne veux pas que mon ami sache que je suis suicidaire Mais de toute façon je suis témoin de Jéhovah et je ne l'apprécie pas vraiment Comme je n'y crois pas du tout Et la plupart des gens savent ce qui se passe Si vous quittez tout le monde je sais déjà que je pourrais dire ça Je ne pourrais jamais avoir de problèmes de religion Si je ne pouvais plus jamais parler de religion |
English | Think I want to hurt myself tonight can't do this any more Even if I don't make it official I just want to hurt myself I'm so tired of everything I'm tired of people I'm tired of myself I have this insane apathy for the world around me and how fucked it is right now Even without my suicidal thoughts I don't want to be a part of what the world is right now Everything is disappointing |
English | Are these pills deadly Citalopram buspirone trazodone Wellbutrin If I take them all will I die |
English | Accepting it all feel like death is becoming more inviting each passing minute I'm not scared of it any more Then I can finally find peace and I no longer have to worry It's not so bad dying |
French | Ils te disent de leur parler la prochaine fois que tu te sens comme ça, mais maintenant j'ai l'impression d'être toxique et manipulatrice. |
French | Aide-moi pour moi la dépression est quelque chose qui semble avoir fait partie de ma vie depuis aussi longtemps que je me souvienne que j'ai perdu ma mère à cause d'un cancer du sein quand j'avais dix ans et je n'ai jamais été le même depuis que ma dépression et ma tristesse sont principalement venues du chagrin qui est presque naturel pour quelqu'un de cet âge. |
French | La douleur est trop pour moi Je suis fatigué de tout Je suis fatigué des quelques personnes qui disent qu'ils sont mes amis mais ne sont pas là quand j'en ai réellement besoin Je suis fatigué de me sentir isolé par la société comme un morceau de merde Je suis fatigué de ne pas avoir beaucoup d'amis et de ne pas avoir de problèmes Je ne peux pas considérer les choses comme si je ne voulais pas que les criminels soient en retard même si vous êtes ici |
English | Girlfriend ND Suicide Note Hey Reddit People My girlfriend and I of months have been She has a history of anxiety and recently her Great grandmother passed away I think her anxiety is in high gear and cause her to lash out at me, I did what I usually do having deep meaningful conversations and express my love for her, I tell her it s going to be okay When we first started dating I found a suicide note and didn't think much about this note I found another suicide not this past weekend We talked about the note I found this weekend She makes it seem like its no big deal but it's a super issue with me Some personal history A family member committed suicide when I was I never fully came to terms and my pasted relationship My ex Girlfriend also was suicidal I walked away from that relationship for personal reasons I feel my relationship with my GF Growing apart What should I do |
English | I am officially revoking my stake in reality just wanted to state this here and make it official I am tired exhausted and defeated I am deciding that I will take my life most likely sooner rather than later Once my funds run out I am taking the last of my money and will go to a place where I can die in peace I am currently generating income through equities trading I am not sure when I will go just that I will, I am ending it at a point I can say I was proud of my life Not looking to be talked out of this I wanted to make this post for myself Maybe I will make another one later about my brief life It's surreal to think about part of me wonders if I was supposed to have a major impact on the world If my death will influence anything in a substantial way Was I suppose to have a purpose an objective Then I figured That's none of my concern |
English | Windy night wrote the note There's really not much else to say I can feel the wind rushing through my windows It comes in waves soon I'll have the courage I had more to write, but the words are gone Now I just feel empty |
French | Je ne pensais pas être ici aujourd'hui était dans une relation avec une fille depuis janvier et tout allait bien Puis, il y a quelques semaines, elle ne voulait aucun contact avec moi pendant des semaines car je m'étais blessé et elle ne voulait pas que dans sa vie car elle a un enfant que j'ai accepté et après jours, elle m'a appelé pour me faire savoir qu'elle était enceinte et donc nous avons commencé à sortir ensemble à nouveau. |
French | J'ai été violée il y a quelques mois par mon petit ami depuis des années Depuis, je suis sur une spirale lente mais stable, je suis sur mon dos, je suis sur mon dos, je suis sur mon dos, je suis sur mon dos, je suis sur mon dos, je suis sur mon dos, je suis sur mon dos, je suis sur mon dos, je suis sur mon dos, je suis sur mon dos, je suis sur mon dos, je suis sur mon dos. |
French | J'ai été déprimé pendant sept ans, j'ai bu, j'ai pleuré, j'ai essayé des drogues à cause de ma dépression, j'ai voulu me tuer et m'éteindre pendant la plupart des sept ans, mais j'ai eu trop peur, j'ai peur, j'ai peur, j'ai peur, j'ai peur, j'ai peur, j'ai peur, j'ai peur, j'ai peur. |
English | I'm so fucking done with myself I'm so angry I'm annoyed I hate everyone I'm tired of me fucking up and yelling at the remainder of the people close to me, I have terrible crippling social anxiety I can't go anywhere I almost broke down last week because I had to go buy some fucking food I'm so tired of being told to hang in there If you took one step into my disgusting mind you would be begging to get out I have suicidal homicidal and compulsive tendencies I'm pretty sure I've been hallucinating for about a year now, and I go into dissociative type moods where it feels like someone else is in my mind I'm on my rd shitty therapist who is going no better than the last have you tried grounding Here I'll teach you some techniques I want to kill you To whoever reads this go ahead leave your petty small comment telling me it's worth it don't care no one can convince me your words are mere raindrops to be wiped away in my mind I guess I came here because I don't want to feel lonely I've had vivid inescapable daydreams of my family hanging themselves as I kill myself over and over and over again get out of my head This isn't normal I'm not normal maybe I should give in maybe I should just crumble under my compulsive mind that rewards me for shameful actions I'm a gross disgusting being no one knows I'm like this in fact no one is close to me, I can't stand social interaction from the way people piss me off to my intrusive thoughts I'm losing the battle to spurring to being on the verge of a panic attack because social interaction is too much I can never say what I want to I told my closest friend to kill themselves told my father I would rip his throat out in his sleep I told my mother she is better off dead because she is a cripple I look like barbed wire was ground down my legs because I constantly cut while in some form of mania I'm so lost I don't even shower or brush my teeth and only eat when the pain gets to me, I've lost about pounds at a rapid pace I used to master bait all the time, but that brings me nothing now I simply sit in bed even writing this has me exhausted and I swear to god if my teacher assigns one more assignment I'm going to write a code to send him a picture of my dead body with a note that says you did it I've tried to practice religion but it didn't work for me the way I see it people latch to religion for selfish reasons they either tell themselves that there is an afterlife and reinforce the idea with thousands of others or use it to overcome addiction maybe they were born into it My parents are constantly screaming at each other as I fall deeper into a state of delusions MY MIND IS BUILDING IT S OWN WORLD I am constantly in a state of hearing or seeing things, and sometimes I hear people say things they didn't such case with my parents my mother asked me to get out of bed apparently, but I heard vivid and clear your almost get hold of yourself I think I'm losing it I am losing it please help me I'm lost something is in my head that is foreign I think I'm a danger to people around me, I know I'm a danger for myself I don't want to die I just want everything to stop why me Please get away from me |
English | I want to give up I just want to give up I lay here in my bed and my mind wanders back on my life I haven't done anything that I've wanted to do I m years old I don't have enough money to go to art school I live in a broken family My parents are bitter towards each other, and they take their anger out on me, I've been very, very single for the last years It hurts I'm so damn lonely I just want to give up |
English | Please help I genuinely want to kill myself tonight I desperately need someone to talk to and yeah I have friends, but I don't want them seeing me like this I don't want to hurt the ones I love but I'm hopeless exhausted and just lifeless I cannot see my future I don't even care to any more I've sabotaged everything good in my life All I have is my boyfriend but he doesn't deserve this I don't know what to do I don't have the strength to stay alive any more Should I commit myself to the psych ward I honestly think I might kill myself tonight |
English | Why not Why shouldn't I kill myself I've failed at everything I've ever attempted If something isn't fast and easy I avoid it I'm lazy weak selfish and just unpleasant to be around I look at myself in the mirror and just cringe and look away quickly I am socially retarded never had a relationship of any kind I look at my life and I think that there's no saving it Even if things got better just the memory of how much I've already failed will crush me for the rest of my life I'm tired of it all tired of how much more of this I still have to go through before something kills me and the more I think about ending it all the better that sounds So why not just end it here Give me a reason to stay Please |
French | Message aux gens ici Tuez-vous vous-mêmes vous sous-humain malade mental sans ami faible QI Intel fagots féministes |
French | Rester à la maison papa À la fin des cordes ne peut pas faire cette merde plus je voulais seulement deux enfants ma femme m'a essentiellement forcé à élever un autre mois sans sexy parce qu'elle ne prendrait pas son contrôle de naissance une erreur dans mon jugement et maintenant le numéro puis retourne sur être un substitut moi alors maintenant voici le numéro de bébé baise et je dois rester la putain de maison et prendre soin de ce putain d'enfant je veux littéralement me tuer. |
English | Afraid of the future sorry if I don't speak English well I am years old and live in Austria I am afraid of the future because of corona and school I would like to have class at school But doing my homework at home is really hard for me, I forget most of the time to do homework I don't have the motivation my grades are bad and so on It is not easy for me to find a place where I can kill myself because my mother is sick so she must stay home with me, I also can't buy anything online because I am not allowed to order something on Amazon What should I do |
English | Committing suicide soon After much deliberation I've decided upon a date and method to commit suicide The events of each day are inexorably driving me to the edge and I don't have much time left My post comment history perfectly chronicles my downward spiral It's a window into a turbulent soul Farewell everyone I hope you find peace and solace in your lives I've scoured heaven and earth trying to find it but to no avail I've capitulated to my demons |
French | Je ne sais pas vraiment quel est le but de ce post, mais je suis devenu effrayant plus profondément dans la planification de mon suicide récemment, il a toujours été quelque chose cliquetis dans mon cerveau depuis que j'étais un enfant après avoir essayé plusieurs fois au cours des années, on pourrait penser que je suis mieux maintenant, mais combien de temps ai-je été dire que pour encore une fois, je peux penser à un tout nouveau plan. |
French | Pourquoi est-ce que je suce au suicide trop vous pensez qu'après toutes les choses que je fais mal, ce serait la seule chose que je fais bien, mais non, je n'ai jamais eu une tentative réussie, je l'appelle toujours à moitié ou une ambulance moi-même quand il devient réel, j'ai cette volonté stupide de vivre, je suis toujours en train d'essayer et d'utiliser contre moi. |
English | My girlfriend has passed My girlfriend who I knew for years prior has killed herself a few hours ago I don't know what to do with myself I am in so much pain Can someone please talk to me about anything please I put so much effort to make her as good as she could possibly be been through so much spent so much time with Took her out of a noose once But it all fell apart I am trying to convince myself not to do anything stupid and hurt myself but the pain is awful |
French | Je ne pense pas que je suis au point où je le ferais mais j'y pense constamment j'ai eu un moment difficile surtout cette dernière année et encore plus ce mois j'ai pu connaître beaucoup de douleur mentale dans ma vie mais ce dernier mois je n'ai jamais eu ce genre d'amour je n'ai jamais eu ce genre d'amour. |
French | Ma femme est morte par suicide il y a un peu plus de mois, j'ai déplacé les continents pour être avec elle, et maintenant je n'ai rien J'ai tout perdu Ma femme qui était ma meilleure amie au monde notre appartement, il a été loué en son nom, mon père l'a acheté pour elle et l'a ramenée Tout l'argent que j'avais transféré dans son compte bancaire. |
English | I think I'm going to do it I might do it I've been in the worst depressive episode of my life for probably over months I've been chronically depressed for years and I haven't been happy for as long as I can remember I haven't been able to get out of bed or leave the house in days My medication doesn't work There isn't a single gender therapist in my immediate miles that takes my insurance I got aged out by my primary care provider who was a pediatrician and haven't been able to get a doctor Every time I try to get better I realize that whatever being there is clearly doesn't want me to So I might just end it all Jump in front of a train I'm fine with traumatizing the conductor My friends will be sad but they'll forget about me eventually Ashes to ashes dust to dust |
English | Do therapist ever help I am contemplating seeing a therapist but I don't actually know what I will get out of it I think I am kind of depressed right now but for the most part me wanting to kill myself was not because of depression It's a logical decision based on my own reasoning I think a lot of people see a therapist for medication if I don't want medication is it mostly a waste of time I guess I want someone to listen and maybe surprise me with an insight angle I have not thought of I am also afraid I'll be sent to a hospital if I am being too honest I'm getting better but I'm really just taking it one day at a time The future scares me and I don't have motivation to do anything other than sitting at home after work To me, it's actually more comforting to think about dying than to live |
English | I'm about to try drugging myself to death again There s no reason to exist I'm trapped here, and I have been ordered to die alone in the corner |
French | La fin d'une très longue route a eu des pensées suicidaires depuis littéralement des années maintenant, mais n'a jamais eu le courage d'agir réellement sur eux, je suis arrivé à un point dans ma vie où je me suis rendu compte que je ne suis même pas en train de croire que je peux éventuellement avoir un avenir. |
French | null |
English | I don't know what to DOI feel like I wasn't made for life on earth Like I was put here by mistake or as a punishment for something I don't belong here and I'll never fit in or really adapt to being here I could get into the ins and outs of why I think my life sucks but honestly I don't even think it matters It's basically the same with everyone isn't it Abusive household mental illness blah blah blah I barely remember any of it anyway Everything just feels sort of like a void and there's an ache in my chest and a voice in my head telling me to go back to a home that doesn't exist Anything has got to be better than here Surely I have time for my life to get better but I'm too scared to take the risk What if it doesn't It hasn't yet The only reason I haven't killed myself is that my first attempt was unsuccessful and I haven't had the chance to try again I don't want anyone to be able to find me I don't want anyone to have to deal with my body and as much as my mother and I don't get along I don't think I could put her through the stress of coming home to the dead body of her child that took their own life I also don't think I could deal with knowing that my dog wouldn't know why I haven't come home yet either Everything here feels so fuzzy I'm always tired and sometimes I'll look into the mirror and not recognize my reflection Yesterday I thought I was staring at a whole other person and when I realized it was me I actually jumped back I just feel disconnected with my body with the people around me with everything I can't shake the feeling that I'm just not supposed to be here I don't belong here I know I don't And I don't know what to do about it, I've been planning doing the deed for a while now because I want to go home I should just kill myself and get it over with because I already feel like a ghost in my own life haunting the people who are walking around I should just fucking die Truth be told I don't think my mother or anyone in my family would be that broken up about it, I think I've repeated myself two times over so I'll stop now I just wanted a place to vent and I'm new here so I'm not quite sure how this works Thanks in advance I guess I don't know |
French | Quel est l'intérêt de vivre pour un homme d'un an qui est Il entrave tout dans ma vie et je suis si près TOB mettre un arrêt t il |
English | I tried to kill myself a few years back Sorry for the grammar and everything I'm a little drunk I tried to hang myself a few years ago but failed somehow Guess I was too young Now I'm have access to guns and I'm fully capable of doing so I've been depressed as fuck for the past months and have really be considering it I don't really have anything to lose I Just don't want to make my mom and my dog sad So many things have collectively been adding up and I'm just over it Fuck it Might as well Whose going to miss me My mom and my dog Maybe Fuck it |
English | Outta regret this one What s popping I've made a couple posts here before and I just need a little help tonight I'm a leader at my school and people recognize me as an overachieving extrovert but I've been covering up a lot of fear and pain I'm fairly certain no one knows about what I'm dealing with except me, I've been eating one meal a day for the past few months and staying up late with suicidal thoughts I can't let myself ever relax even when people are trying to help me I feel like everyone hates me and is trying to hurt me I thought a lot about killing myself a week or so ago but didn't go through with it within a couple of days I don't have anyone to talk to and I'm scared of everyone I'd appreciate some help |
French | Est-ce que j'ai la dépression Mes parents disent juste que c'est une phase, mais je souffre depuis des années maintenant et j'ai déjà commencé à couper un peu en arrière et maintenant je suis juste regarder les pilules et je suis tellement tenté de me tuer je ne l'ai pas encore fait parce que j'ai promis à un bon ami que je n'aurais pas méprisé la personne que je suis et il n'y a pas eu d'événement qui a causé |
English | I don't understand what's going on can't understand what the fuck is going on in my head I don't know who to talk to since I don't have a fucking friend I am angry with myself I am constantly depressed and with suicidal thoughts for years now I madly fall in love with random girls with whom in many cases I just exchange a few words I have millions of thoughts in my head and I can't give myself peace every now, and then I joke that I can open and close different businesses in a minute I do periods where self-destruction is the only thing that keeps me going I tried drugs prostitutes alcohol nothing can give me peace I can't reach any of my goals because I change my mind in seconds I have trouble sleeping I always eat until I burst, or I don't eat at all the thing that pisses me off is the fact that I'm never focused on what I do I seem to be living on a different planet what the fuck can I do last year I tried to resort to a specialist after a few sessions I didn't go anymore because according to him, I was looking for medicines last week I booked a new appointment but now I think i m fine and I seem to be wasting his time I do not know what to do I just want to stop thinking |
English | They say I'm too young to die So I hang in there and try to get an education or a job Then the educators and employers say I'm too old to accept Hypocrites |
English | Please don't worry about ma don't think I will ever actually kill myself I just think about it all the time like so much Thinking about actually dying is kind of scary but thinking about making suicide attempts sometimes gets me through the day I cut myself all the time just to feel like I'm making some sort of progress or like I'm trying to at least do something to make everything go away at least for a little while I drink all the time, and it just means I cut deeper and deeper and it is slowly getting worse and interfering with my academics and my personal life I have a hard time getting close to people and that makes things so much worse I'm so sad all the time and my mental disorders make things so much worse i don't know what to do things just slowly get worse tb him drunk right now and i don't expect anything to get better and I fully believe I will kill myself one day because I do not think I will ever be happy and I am so sad and don't know what to do I'm sorry I'm bothering people with my problems I'm just running out of things to do and IDK i don't know what to do and I'm scared |
English | Losing hope fast thought the abuse would end I thought the pain would end when I moved out but of course it didn't I feel like I'm a walking fucking empty sack of useless flesh I would give anything to give my life to ANYONE who didn't deserve to die because I sure as fuck don't deserve to live I hate it and I'm wasting it I have a job and I m in school and it doesn't make me want to fucking kill myself any less Medication fucked up my brain forever and never helped I don't have a doctor I was in the hospital last year for trying to kill myself I'm barely better off now All I do is go to class or go to work and come home and sleep because I'm too depressed to do anything else Talking to people is a chore I barely eat I love my father, and he thinks I'm doing fine, and I don't have the heart to tell him I'm miserable after everything he s done for me, I hate being like this I'm a waste in my eyes I hate it |
English | If not tonight then when I've been down a looking road with depression and anxiety throughout my life Growing up gay didn't help at all But I feel as if I've reached my rock bottom I lost my job in May I've been hopelessly single for years had to move back in with my parents which is currently hell Not even sure what the point of writing this is and in all honesty will probably delete tomorrow if I'm still here I just wanted a written record that I'm fucking tried And I lost Mom Dad if you're reading this I'm sorry Good luck to all of you I'm sure some most of you can make it to the other side |
French | Pour ceux qui envisagent le suicide, je ne peux pas dire que je ressens ce que vous ressentez parce que je ne suis pas sûr de mes sentiments, mais j'espère que nous travaillons tous à travers elle, j'espère que je n'offense personne avec ma question. |
French | Thérapeute en colère à cause de ma tentative de suicide A quelques secondes de tentative de suicide quand j'ai été arrêté et amené à l'hôpital Avant que je sois admis, j'ai envoyé un courriel à mon T pour leur faire savoir que je n'ai pas reçu d'email une fois qu'ils ont été libérés pour leur faire savoir que je serais en mesure de faire ma prochaine demande Quand j'ai eu ma prochaine session, ils étaient très en colère |
English | Chronic pain Been in pain for years and I want to end it and don't know how Have seen different doctors with no one who knows how to help I have a family and don't know what to do But am I seeing a new doctor Thursday I hope she can help Otherwise don't know what to do I want the pain to be over Thanks for listening |
French | Coincé pixel sur un grand écran avait des rêves d'aller dans l'espace quand j'étais petit Maintenant, je fantasme sur le démarrage de ma plate-forme VR et me tirer dessus tout en regardant les étoiles dans Elite Dangereux Je suis stagnant depuis plus d'années maintenant Les gens parlent de la façon dont ils changent au fil du temps, mais je suis pris au piège ici si vous pouviez donner mon corps à quelqu'un d'autre |
French | En parlant honnêtement, j'ai l'impression que je ne peux dire à personne ce qui se passe dans ma tête, je dois toujours m'éditer avant de parler, j'ai essayé d'être honnête, et j'ai perdu ces amis, j'ai même perdu un thérapeute, mes amis me disent toujours que je peux leur parler, si j'en ai besoin, mais j'ai trop peur de le faire. |
French | Je me déteste tout ce qui me concerne est dégoûtant à peine atteint la puberté à je ne suis pas normal je sonne années et je suis sur le point d'obtenir mon diplôme je me suis fait percer le nez en espérant que je verrais une certaine différence, mais maintenant je me sens comme les gens pensent que je l'ai obtenu pour l'attention quand l'attention est la dernière chose que je veux je ne peux pas exprimer des sentiments à une fille que je suis en amour |
English | Burning the candle at both ends and I'm out of based Title is meant to say wax not was Autocorrect and all I don't have the energy to go into my life story right now I'm just barely keeping it together at work more or less give a detailed coherent plea for help I just need to get this out in the open somehow to a group of people that would actually care I can't survive like this for much longer I've had terrible anxiety ever since I was a small child so I worry immensely over anything and everything I worry about my future I worry about my past I worry about how by poisoned I worry about my sexuality I worry about current events I worry about the world I worry that I'll continue to live without a single friend that I can call close I worry about what my family and friends think of me I worry about what strangers on Twitter and elsewhere on the internet think of me You get the idea It just sucks because it all compounds and stacks and makes my situation worse Every regret or embarrassment I have has suicide as a possible way to get out of it I know it's not right but it feels so logical given who I am and how much of a piece of shit I am It feels like fate that I will someday die by my own hand My opinions are worthless My actions are worthless Writing this is worthless because it is written by me, I am worthless I write all of this with a stoic face at work because I'm so used to feeling like this It doesn't make me cry or weep I haven't let my emotions out like that in years I'll edit this if I have anything more to say I just needed to finally let the world know how I feel No one else would have cared or listened Not even my therapists take me seriously when I tell them how seriously fucked up I am They just keep me on the same low dosage of medication hoping that it would somehow work down the road even though I've been on that same medication at the same dosage for years Not even professionals listen So in a way thank you for reading this if you did |
French | J'ai appelé la hotline suicide, et ça m'a mis en contact avec des vétérans, et j'étais tellement embarrassé que le mec ne savait même pas comment m'aider que je pourrais me suicider. |
English | Feeling really close to the end The biggest thing that's stopping me is knowing how depressed my dog would be with losing me Other than that I couldn't care less about anything years ago I had everything I wanted I moved because of a Hurricane I had a job I really liked and lost it My roommate who was helping me get back on my feet passed right before Christmas I don't have a car I don't have a job And I m in a town where I don't have any friends or anyone My mom doesn't want me back home because she likes to choose her boyfriends over me, I have in my account I've already sold most things All my bills are behind, and I have no other options right now I'm borderline homeless again Except this time I don't even have a vehicle to sleep in I have meds I have rope and other things It wouldn't be hard for me to do I'm very ready to end it Maybe some people here can encourage me not to |
English | An interesting title sorry for the shit title i don't know what to title this also not sure if this is the right place to post this but whatever anyway guess i ll just say what I wanted to say I can't see myself having any future at all I can't see anything anytime I try to imagine something realistic for myself it just turns out as me being fucking dead or its just blank I know people in my life don't want me to die but truth is I want to i haven't wanted to live for years I cant imagine myself ever doing or being anything worthwhile I know I'm nothing but a fucking piece of shit I'm untalented I'm ugly I'm disgusting I'm not worth anything i just don't know what to do being alive is hell all I do is suffer but I cant bring myself to end things bc I've already hurt everyone in my life enough plus tb him scared of killing myself being painful or death being terrible i don't know what to do anymore and I guess I've come here to seek guidance or comfort or something all I know is that life has been hell for over a decade and I cant see it getting any better |
English | Male constant depression just feel like the feeling of suicide is always there I have a loving family I go to a great school I have pets But I just feel so alone I was diagnosed with a brain tumor a few years back and every month when I am sedated for an MRI I hope that they accidentally give me too much anesthesia and I don't wake up I only have one friend who I have told this to He and my immediate family are the only ones who know He is my only friend I don't even know what I'm living for any more I started having these thoughts when I was I never thought and still doubt that I would let myself live to high school graduation I am not being bullied or anything like that I just feel so depressed Although I usually just put on a happy show for everyone and Barry my depression No one would ever believe me if I cried out for help I usually get this way whenever I fight with my parents over something, although I could just be sitting in the middle of class and have to excuse myself to the restroom just to cry and where I will just contemplate suicide I've tried telling my parents, but they just tell me to get over it I have nowhere else to go Reddit please tell me something anything A reason to keep living |