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Weird question, but is a women’s private part supposed to smell like fish?

sexualhealth

10rjhcm

It's a common thing that can happen, and most women have this smell at least once in their life. However, it can be a sign of a yeast infection or any other problem along those lines (unless it's your vagina's usual odour). If it concerns you or anything down there changes that's out of the ordinary, please go to a doctor/sexual health nurse. They could give more information or possibly a treatment :)

Men also have problem of smell..who don't take care of hygiene of private parts

Itz common..

The only fish it should smell is should be A grade sushi. Anything else is a no-go. Most likely it's bacterial vaginosis. Surprisingly women of European and Asian descent have more lactobacillus in their vaginas and are able to fight off bad bacteria better than most women of African and Spanish descent. It's all in the genetics. https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.1002611107#:~:text=Vaginal%20bacterial%20communities%20dominated%20by,Hispanic%20and%20black%20women%2C%20respectively.

No, a woman is not supposed to.smell like fish. Her vulva and vagina should have a neutral smell. It shouldn't smell like fish or apple pie nor should it sparkle with glitter.

Pregnant or overthinking? Help!

sexualhealth

10mm84l

Youre not stupid. Its okay lovie. Ill be honest, the likelihood of you being pregnant is very unlikely. It would have to mean his pre-ejaculate got you pregnant since he didnt finish inside you. Or finish at all. The depth of which he was inside doesnt really play a part, considering sperm swim their way up anyways— i say that to say, i assume youre safe. especially since you took some emergency contraception after. That was the smart move. You did good. The side effects of that pill can make you feel that way so i wouldnt stress it. Its too early to take a pregnancy test, so if you still have your doubts, take one in 2 weeks. Regardless, i dont think you’re pregnant and i dont think you need to worry babes. ♥️

STI through unprotected blowjob?

sexualhealth

106mdhk

Hi :) yes, it is possible if the guy had some form of STI. If you're unsure or show symptoms I'd reccomend getting a test :) hope this helps

I wanna add that it’s important to always get site-specific testing! Meaning get tested wherever there was unprotected contact, whether that’s the penis, vagina, anus, and/or throat. Take good care!

is it okay to get turned on when someone is nice to me

sexualhealth

101cwqi

There isn't anything wrong with you. That you are aware of it is enough. It maybe that this is your lot in life and challenge to manage. Don't be ashamed and impose any further mental load on yourself. Life will throw enough curve balls in your time so find a way to move with and embrace the energy in arousal. It will take time but you will get there. We all do eventually.

Contact a therapist to help you understand and deal with this. It is not normal to feel that as a result of any general niceness, and you should seek counsel from a professional, as it most likely stems from a more deep rooted psychological issue.

I know my bf deals with this a bit. I think it’s the result of any strong emotional sensations which makes sense to me. I mean hell I know that’s what happens when dogs get really happy/exited so it’s probably not that different with humans.

Where is my pain coming from?

sexualhealth

zyrazw

Probably infection

sounds like uti might have spread to kidneys. See doctor or do telehealth

sudden weak erection?

sexualhealth

zrd2bb

Do i have an std

sexualhealth

zfxuv9

Unwanted sexual thoughts... How to be normal again

sexualhealth

ze7qgh

Watching porn opens the door to the demonic. It isn’t harmless as many would lead you to believe. Those thoughts aren’t coming from you but from an evil spirit. I would cry out to Jesus to save you because without Him, there is no freedom.

is prep necessary when you always use a condom?

sexualhealth

zdbinf

Never had any side effects from prep, it's free (UK), and you don't have to take it continuously (effective if you take 2 pills a couple hours beforehand iirc, max effectiveness after a week of consumption but not necessary) So far as I know, there is no reason to not get prep. Why wouldn't you want to be basically immunised against HIV?

I watch porn almost daily and jack of almost daily, is that ok?

sexualhealth

z6pkri

I wouldn't say it's a bad thing unless you're death-gripping/jacking off with a grip that's too tight. otherwise, just realize real life will be a lot less glamourous then the porn you see. bodies are gross, just keep it in mind.

It's not okay. Get a girlfriend.

You don't have to get a girlfriend, you can just have a friend with benefits. But you should probably cut back on the porn some. And sometimes friends with benefits can lead to stronger relationships because friendships are the foundation of a great relationship.

how to cure a porn addiction ?

sexualhealth

z5lne0

[deleted]

Watch softer and softer core porn

Practice intimacy exercises. Look into Tantra.

What is the normal age for wet dreams to begin?

sexualhealth

z4oq09

You are not abnormal! Some people start puberty younger than others. If there’s no abuse, it’s likely that you’re just an early bloomer. It’s also possible that you witnessed something by accident. Like walked in on your parents or found your dads playboys (or something of the sorts) and your brain created those pathways a little younger.

Do I have an std?

sexualhealth

z40qfn

Not even going to bother reading more than the title. ***IF YOU HAVE TO ASK, GO TO A CLINIC AND GET TESTED*** Edit: nvm, I read the rest... Sorry for the unnecessary sass. Maybe try calling for an over phone consultation?

It’s weird, but is it safe?

sexualhealth

z1m5yc

Definitely not. It is 100% normal for vaginas (labia internal/external) to come in all sizes/shapes/colors/etc. I encourage all beings to love themselves and their bodies as they are, and to find their unique beauty. I have had clients who underwent labiaplasty with varying results.

healthy to have never masturbated?

sexualhealth

z0dh8q

It’s perfectly fine for you to not have masturbated before, as everyone’s sexuality is there own. We come to discover things in our own time and in our own ways. Perhaps you should maybe try masturbating to see if you would actually enjoy it. Orgasming is very pleasurable and you may discover more about your own sexuality/what you like/what turns you on/ what stimulates you by masturbating. As I’m imparting some wisdom here I would suggest not watching porn as it leads down a tricky road that can lead to a warped sense of sex and a reliance to achieve pleasure. That said if you think you’re able to watch porn and not become addicted then maybe experiment with watching some

Regular orgasms have multiple health benefits. Keeping the prostate exercised at your age is crucial. Further, matsurbation & orgasms trigger the release of dopamine and oxytocin, which enhance mood and a sense of well-being. I assume you get erections ? ... when that happens, have a play and learn what works for you. Even if you do not get attracted to others, you definitely should try self-pleasure.

am i pregnant ?

sexualhealth

yzey0j

You can take another test in a couple of days to ease your mind. If you have been under stress lately it’s possible that your period is late. Since you are becoming more sexually active, you might want to look into some protection to prevent pregnancy and infections. Take care of yourself.

if it was just outside your undies, you're fine. you're not pregnant.

is this a weird kink?

sexualhealth

ywed3g

Most kinks are weird but there shouldn't be many shame in it. As long as you don't push it on anybody you're fine. Enjoy it by yourself as much as you want.

How do I clean my toy?

sexualhealth

yui00o

Spray it with the toy cleaner and wipe it down. If it has a lot of substance on it rinse it with warm water first. Warm water and gentle soap also works for a deeper clean and then spraying it with toy cleaner can help keep it in better condition.

Can I get an STD from any of these activities?

sexualhealth

y3vpb4

Unlikely, tbh. Unless he had cold sores, I'd say you're probably OK.

masturbation doesn’t feel as good anymore?

sexualhealth

y3hk7d

May I ask what these strange tastes are?

You don't have to force it. Take a break.

I think your fantasies are completely normal, especially if you have childhood trauma. Now, you should seek professional help. Those fantasies may affect you badly. Meaning you can be attracted to the wrong person or end up in a bad situation. You are already unable to stay focus and not be distracted by them. It’s important for your safety and mental help to get help. The main problem is not the masturbation. You need to take care of the main problem first.

Do I need a circumcision ?

sexualhealth

xzkmli

Some guys just have an overhang and there is nothing wrong. Stretch out the ring so the head can come out. You can get cream from your doctor or GP or just spend time loosening it gently. You don't need a circumcision.

You definitely don't need a circumcision. The longer foreskin is very sensitive and you'd definitely notice it if it were gone. Fun fact; the ancient Greeks used to value a long foreskin so highly they had several specific words for it, variations of 'acroposthion.' It was considered a pinnacle of aesthetic beauty.

Am I shallow?

sexualhealth

xxwz3a

We all have our own opinion on what we like and do not like. You are not shallow for having an opinion on something you do not like. I think shallowness becomes an issue when you make it become an issue. Your type, your body, your opinion, your choice. Be safe and go live.

what is the best laxative to use daily?

sexualhealth

xu9u92

Are you drinking plenty of water and eating enough fiber? It’s not really healthy to be dependent on a laxative for daily use. Either you’re not getting enough nutrients or your digestive tract needs attention. But there are great natural options. Smooth Move tea, psyllium husk (need plenty of water), prunes or prune juice, magnesium citrate or oxide, etc. Best of luck!

It's not good to use a laxative etc everyday and runs the chance of your bowels getting so used to them that they won't have normal bowel movements with out them, so causes bigger problems down the road. Make sure to keep on top of fibre intake can even supplement it if you want (fybogel, lactulose liquid for example), and that will keep you regular every day.

Do I need to worry myself?

sexualhealth

xr4lhg

If you didn’t have any cuts on your hands or your penis you’re fine. You have done all the cleaning necessary. You can touch whatever you’d like now. The prevalence of HIV in the U.K. is small, the likelihood of the person whose blood this is having HIV is therefore also small.

advice on what to ask my doctor

sexualhealth

xm996n

I would advise going to a proper sexual health clinic if possible, explaining your symptoms and that you’re really worried. Mention you’ve spoken to your doctor and what they’ve advised- how that affects your symptoms. Sexual Health clinics generally have a better understanding of genitalia and may have more insight. Good luck :)

Body hair. Yay or nay?

sexualhealth

xbx7il

It's all a matter of personal preference and your partner's preference. I (F30) prefer short to none but having a hairy member wouldn't hinder the decision to get busy.

I have been shaving on a regular basis, I (52M), all personal preference.

Personally I (31F) prefer no hair on myself, I'm getting laser and shave in-between treatments. In partners I prefer at least trimmed, a bush wont put me of sex but it does pit me off oral a bit.

Did I catch a STD ?

sexualhealth

x8s7nh

Most likely just an ingrown hair if you have no other symptoms/haven’t engaged in anything sexual!

How long after sex with your previous partner should you get tested for STDs

sexualhealth

wuxci0

can i be pregnant?

sexualhealth

wps5ts

Yes you could be pregnant

In general, most couples who are trying to conceive end up a actively tracking ovulation, and have intercourse with full ejaculation deep inside the vagina for several consecutive cycles. So, probability of your conceiving is very low. But not zero. I have a few questions below. Absolutely avoid answering of you are not comfortable. Or, if you prefer, feel free to DM me. I think you are saying you have a 4 week cycle. Was the intercourse 1 week from the end of the previous period? Or from the start? That determines whether you may already have ovulated before the intercourse. If you did, the pill wouldn't have been effective. Ejaculate on the vulva (outer lips) by itself cannot result in conception. May I ask how parted (how much gap) your vulva are, and how much they were parted during and shortly after the ejaculation? Since it's been over 3 weeks (4, you said) since the intercourse, you can always test for pregnancy. In the future, you might find it much easier on yourself to simply use condoms.

How do I safely masturbate?

sexualhealth

wd6839

Be gentle. Use your fantasy. Read descriptions. Watch videos. Stop if it hurts. Have fun. Enjoy.

Not sure what you mean. Use your hand and try gentle but it's something you learn by yourself.

Use lotion or lube fool

Std??

sexualhealth

wbq2o9

Could be a couple different things. First would be smegma, a combination of dead skin cells, water and skin oil, it lubricates the penile head and sometimes builds up in that area and can look like its discharging from the urethra. Discharge if white or cloudy fluid when youre aroused is not uncommon and is just a sign of sexual stimulation. if its occuring randomly outside of this instance it could be the following. urethritis, which just means theres a build up of sperm/urine in the urethra tube and your body is trying to cleanse it out. Though I would doubt this is the case if you arent experiencing any pain because normally it slightly burns when you urinate, you feel the need to urinate often, and the discharge is another symptom. and the only other thing I could think of is a UTI which is also vastly unlikely because it affects your urinary tract and is usually fairly painful. hopefully this helps!

Did you ever figure this out?

What is most powerful Vibrator!

sexualhealth

w43v5l

I don't know enough about vibes to answer this however I've heard strengthening the PC muscles for a woman makes it easier to orgasm generally. But that might be for penetration only. As someone that doesn't own a vagina I have no real way of testing this. However this might solve the cost problem a bit as you'd be training your body rather than investing in something else. Maybe worth a shot? 🤷🏿‍♂️

I know what you mean when a vibrator kicks the bucket it is the worst waiting to get a new one! Following thread for research purposes.

Hexbug

How to stop masturbating so much?

sexualhealth

vn4yp2

Don’t worry about it, if it’s really a problem for you just decide to yourself your gonna stop jerkin it, if your really young being that horny is pretty normal. Keep yourself busy go to the gym go for a run get some friends you know the drill

Am I wrong to ask this of my husband?

sexualhealth

vh38jr

What reason has he given to be uncomfortable with that? It could be easier for him if you bought a paddle or a whip so that he wont have to be as tough to be able to get the same desired effect?

It all comes down to each comfort… do you want to feel pleasure at the expense of your husbands pleasure?

Wet dreams?

sexualhealth

vc47be

All of what you experience is completely normal and nothing to be worried of! The urge to urinate after ejaculation is something most men feel. It probably has been invented by evolution to make sure the sugar/protein containing remnants of your semen get flushed out to prevent bacteria from using them to ascend into your urogenital tract/kidney area. Nocturnal emissions neither are bound to sexual dreams nor is their occurrence or frequency related to any quality of sexual energy (built up or not). There are various factors and genetic determination factors contributing to the overall occurrence, the frequency and what sort of dreams you remember when waking up afterwards. There are huge interindividual differences from "No, never in my life" to "Nearly every night -unrelated to how many orgasms I had during the day beforehand".

Pubic lice?

sexualhealth

v3ydud

Since you've not found anything else on yourself, I'd think you're good. I would still watch out for the coming few days, just in case. But it's really unlikely IMHO that they come back after getting treatment. Unless that is, you contract them afresh. If you're sexually active, I honestly believe that you consider ensuring that your partner also check themself out, and if required get treatment as well.

is it normal to not have sex?

sexualhealth

umgo3e

It’s not a problem at all, if you don’t suffer from it. Asexuality is a sexuality and you’re legitimate in this ! Sexuality can change with the time, the context so maybe you’ll want to have intercourse later, or not ! But either way, it’s not a problem until it is for you !

Sexual desire is shown to be dependant on one's sex hormones. If you just lack the desire to have sex, then your libido could just be low due to low sex hormones. It is very possible for sex hormones to be low for many years if they aren't increased. The main hormones resposible for libido are testosterone and DHEA. Estrogen also plays a big role (especially for a woman), but increasing T can automatically help the body to increase estrogen to healthy levels as testosterone is naturally aromatized (converted) into estrogen (as needed). Just about Everyone (couples and married people included) goes through certain phases where their sexual desire just goes missing or isn't where it normally was...this is easily "fixed" once their sex hormones pick up. The main thing to ask yourself is why are your hormones low in the first place. Nutrition (consuming enough calories, consuming nutrient-dense foods, reducing inflammatory foods, etc) and lifestyle habits (getting optimal sleep, sunlight, being active, de-stressing, etc.) play the biggest role in one's health and hormones, in general, as well as one's sexual desire and performance.

Maybe you will or maybe you won't. It's perfectly okay to not be interested in sex. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. Sexuality is a specrtum.

Is it okay if you don't send nudes of certain things?

sexualhealth

gvl3ri

It's 100% your choice. It's your right to set boundaries around this. If you don't wish to send certain photos that's completely fine.

Your body, your rules! Just tell him that some things are better to be seen in person.

Totally normal. I don't do that either for the reasons you stated. Plus having heard other guys talk shit about 🐱 pics they've received sealed the deal forever.

I think it's more exciting if they only get to see it in person 😂👀 keep the mystery. Hopefully he cares about if you're comfortable or not so he should back off if you're honest 🤷🏻‍♂️ you do you 😁🙌

Your body, your choice. He's very close to the line here of harassment. Be aware that once sent, you have absolutely no control over what happens next to them, and they are out there *forever*, which is probably a lot longer than this relationship will last.

How to get rid of the fear of pregnancy

sexualhealth

keia0c

the best weapon against fear is education, so take time to study how pregnancy works in humans. it's a very complicated process that goes way beyond "penis goes in, baby comes out", and once you learn the whys and wherefores of fertility, you'll be much better equipped to deal with your fears because you'll gain a better understanding of how to be in control. regrettably, most people (both men and women) have a very, very tenuous grasp on reproductive physiology, so as an extra bonus you'll be able to dazzle people with superior knowledge - not even just now at 16, but for your entire life, because in my experience people of all ages seriously don't know shit about what happens when you make a baby! myths, misconceptions and uncertainties galore, but in reality pregnancy is an exact science, not a "miracle of life". there's a book you could use as a starting point, called Taking Charge of Your Fertility. i haven't read it myself, but heard a lot of reliable feedback on it. also, wikipedia is your best friend. read up on the menstrual cycle, the details and the timing of ovulation, the process of fertilization. if you have questions about anything you read or feel confused, feel free to PM me!

I had the exact same issue when I was 16, I’m 26 now and (at least for me personally) it has become and overall fear of pregnancy/childbirth. Whenever I got bloated it gave me intense anxiety about it actually being a baby bump, and that has turned into this revulsion of my body potentially changing and getting destroyed through 9 months of growth and childbirth from what feels like a foreign parasite. not just the fear of the physical discomfort, but also seeing myself take on a feminine pregnant form when I spent so many years being taught that it was something to avoid, something to be ashamed of. Sorry if this is a lot, I just wonder if these fears could have been worked through instead of allowing them to become cemented into my brain after high school. You are young but deserve a healthy attitude towards sex. If you feel afraid, wait until you aren’t afraid, because your brain will start to associate sex with fear and shame, when it’s supposed to be a part of your life that is beautiful and liberating and guilt-free. Best of luck!! IUDs are awesome btw

Are there any benefits to watching porn regularly?

sexualhealth

ixqdrr

I'm a little biased on this subject for an important reason (I'm a pornographer) but it also gives me insight. Porn type and quality varies the same as any other art form. If you truly respect it as art and are a sexual enthusiast, there are lots of high quality resources to learn from and improve yourself. There are also types of porn that are real and don't cause bias with occasional consumption. It's important to educate yourself so you know your kinks, as well as what is real. Learning about physiology of others, or what their kinks could be, really can prepare you for future real-life sexual encounters. My wife had numerous partners before me, but she was my first. Luckily I had studied quality content like Hegre and I was great at foreplay from the very start.

Should i give up on losing my virginity?

sexualhealth

kzy3o0

hi hi :3 i think u should do some research and maybe talk to a sex therapist. cause there's nothing wrong with nutting quick; there are remedies out there that u can start practicing now like kegels. check out sexplanations on youtube for more about that. as far as becoming a monk, no i don't think so. u just haven't figured out what u like yet and that's totally okay. it takes time for everyone to truly find what they're seeking. don't feel like you're a late bloomer. sex is what u make it and what u want it to be. be gentle with yourself with your patience and timing. i hope u find some peace in the future and a good nut!

The more you continue to be negative your situation wont change. To help you on your journey you need more sex education. You can definitely have sex one day if you find a partner you feel comfortable with enough to discuss your boundaries. Look into kegels and tantra if you are interested in separating your ejaculation from orgasm. I think it would do you well if you were to look into sex educators on youtube and in books, maybe there are even some in your area. They can really help you.

You will last much longer with a partner than alone, maybe not the first time but once you get use to it

How to get over sexual aversion? I can’t afford therapy

sexualhealth

mdoxw1

I plan to go to therapy for my aversions as well. I went through the same thing and sometimes it was forced on me. I am very curious to see what others did to help their trauma and what a therapist could do. I hope you get through. I'm sorry for what happened to you. I hope you're doing better. Just take it slow.

Is it normal to watch this porn?

sexualhealth

lypr93

It’s not uncommon for straight woman to be interested in lesbian porn. Two women often are more knowledgable about what feels good for women, then men are - so you may identify with that when you watch.

Totally normal yeah

You will be suprised what straight people watch all round the world. Nothing wing with having kinks.

Idk if my take means much considering I’m a gay guy but it’s normal. It’s just kinda just how your mind works I guess

Yes it’s normal

Is porn actually that bad (mentally and physically)?

sexualhealth

iltsb9

Yes and no. Just like anything else, in moderation (2-3x a week) it’s fine. It helps you masturbate, which is healthy, and it helps you figure out what you like/don’t like and/or explore new things. But too much is absolutely unhealthy.

Consuming content can be bad for you if done incorrectly. For example horror films can seriously affect the subconscious and cause anxiety if over consumed. Watching news from biased sources can create negative attitudes. Porn can be a learning tool, but can have additive qualities for some. Watching to much porn that is disrespectful can lead to incorrect thinking or habits. But porn is a great way to get a glimpse into other hobbies and skills. Porn itself doesn't cause the problem and should be respected. Porn abuse can cause mental illness, which can lead to physical issues like desensitization or erection problems. Source: my wife and I are pornographers.

Erection problem?

sexualhealth

jztmwv

Have you thought about Erectyle Disfunction? I think porn addiction is one of the main reasons males are not able to get a full erection

Stop watching porn, stop jerking off, and add weightlifting if you’re not already ( weightlifting is one of the few exogenous increases of testosterone)

There are lots of ways to tackle your problem, its very common. What I would do is, switch to edge masturbating 4-5 times a week with the goal of one climax each session with moderately slow stimulation, using lube. If you can't climax with moderately slow stimulation, then just don't climax at all and try again the next day. If you watch porn, don't do it while masturbating.

Why are many of us not comfortable talking about sex? Isn’t sexual health important?

sexualhealth

hvojaa

Being more comfortable in talking about sex, means you are enjoying your sexual life. It will help to prevent STIs spread also.

Cheating girlfriend STI test came back clean, does that mean I’m clean?

sexualhealth

fxkxob

I feel so bad for you man, I honestly cant answer any questions that you listed but I suggest you leave her, she disrespect you and your trust

Sti wise, unlikely that she gave you anything if her tests are negative and you likewise have not experienced any symptoms. The only way I can see is if she recovered from the thing in between giving it to you and getting tested,(that could theoretically happen with chlamydia?? but it’s a stretch). But good to get tested regardless if you haven’t been in awhile. Better safe!! Relationship wise you should move on lol. Sounds highly toxic

Besides physical sexual health, please leave her for the sake of your mental health. Bitch.

Just get tested yourself to be safe. Also be aware that HSV (herpes) tests are not included on regular STI testing. And it can be asymptomatic. Not trying to freak you out. Just want to ensure you’re being safe.

Any update? She may have had treatment without telling anyone.

Why do so many people do ‘no fap’?

sexualhealth

tk872v

Because this type of approach takes some people to have ed problems when trying to have sex in real life. Not everyone though.

Well, personally, I used to do it because it isn't pleasurable anymore.

Spiritual fasting for some people. Some people give it up for a while as they may over use it and so spiritually fast. I guess some people in this sense would do it as a form to heal from over masturbation and sexual addiction as going cold turkey I guess. I don't know much about spiritual fasting as it's not something that I come by often in my spiritual beliefs or religion but I have heard of people doing it spiritually when they need to stop doing something or because a special festival is coming up and it's sacrificing a pleasure

Do you not enjoy showering with their bf/gf?

sexualhealth

pzq7lq

I wouldn't mind doing it as a one off, but I can't stand the same temperatures as my girlfriend. My skin isn't made to stand boiling water like hers is. Even if i could stand the heat, I still would only want to do that as a one-off and generally would see a shower as a solo thing. It's a way of getting me-time while doing important stuff (preparing/winding down for the day), so kinda useful if you arent getting me-time anywhere else. As for the kids thing though I can't comment on that, but even if I was getting my own space and time away from the kids, I still would generally prefer to shower by myself. But I could manage a one off shared one here and there (assuming I didn't mind the heat).

I think it depends. There’s two situations when I like showering with my boyfriend. First one if I’m feeling a bit frisky and want him to join. The other is if I just need a rinse off (not washing my hair or shaving). But if I have to wash my hair or shave then I prefer to shower alone. Or if I’ve just had a long ass day than I would rather shower by myself and decompress.

I dont care for it either, i have my system and hate dancing for the water stream when i need it bc someone else is using it lol.

I’d like sex but I really don’t enjoy taking a shower with someone. It seems like either one is in the stream of water or the other one is cold. I also worry about getting water in my ears… I know it looks so romantic etc. but no not too much

Is my sex drive normal?

sexualhealth

ndmumx

Normal :)

i think that’s normal! Stress can definitely effect sex drive. Also, if you’re a person with female reproductive organs, your sex drive is very likely linked to your menstrual cycle with all those hormones

You are a very Normal dude! Testosterone is a hell of a horny driver. My wife and I for 7 years straight we would have sex 1-3 times a day seven days a week. Now we are down to once a week or two, like normal couples. Mostly cuz we both got super busy with work and family. Hahaha.

No libido?

sexualhealth

ko0spw

Birth control, SSRIs, HSDD are the biggies Edit: there is also something called spontaneous and responsive arousal which is totally normal BUT yiu should have desire at least sometimes

Your mind is one of the biggest influences on your libido. Have you been feeling depressed, extra stressed, ill, lacking in enough sleep, etc? Any one of these can cause a decrease in interest/libido. Have you considered asking your doctor about this, see if there may or may not be a medical issue?

Idk if this would apply to you but it’s sorta common in with adhd women and long term relationships to have your interest in sex die off. Bc you’re getting enough dopamine from companionship so you don’t need the additional from sex, but that general there has been a consensus that once you start doing stuff that desire ‘wakes up’. Something to do with a shift in attention. Might be worth looking into, but not necessarily something wrong with you or your attraction to your partner. Only mentioning bc depression would generally kill your libido completely, but you said once you start doing stuff you can get into it

Maybe the sexual spark has died, not uncommon in longterm relationships! Do you get turned on when you think about other men or have you lost your libido in general?

Stress and stuck trauma are the root cause of nearly every disease. Other factors may tip the body from health to disease, but at the root trauma and stress are the culprits. The book When the Body Says No by Dr. Gabor Mate illustrates this perfectly and I highly recommend the read. Western medicine has come to pathologize and label anything and everything. Ditch the labels like "hypo active sexual desire disorder" and low libido. Your body and mind are just out of balance. There's only one state of disease in the body, imbalance. Your sexuality is telling you something is off kilter and it is likely a blessing because reduced sexual functioning is often a precursor to more serious health conditions, but at the heart of it, sexual energy is the same as life force energy or chi.... it is what makes us feel alive. Check out the following books and take some time to consider all the stress and trauma you've experienced in your life, ever. They don't even have to be big traumas. It can be as simple as having been embarrassed by classmates in junior high. It's not always obvious things like physical abuse or sexual assault. Stress and trauma tip the body's chemistry towards disease and away from wellness and that manifests differently for different people based on their own life experiences. Western medicine will throw pills at your symptoms while the underlying cause continues to fester or tell you to get a therapist. Talk therapy has its place but stress and trauma are stored in the physical body, so talking it out, on it's own, doesn't usually do a whole lot. There are other healing modalities that are very effective at releasing stuck stress and trauma from the body, but it first requires empowering yourself to understand that you are in charge of your own healing and not hand that power over to a supposed higher authority in a white coat. I have a webinar coming up on cortisol hacking which explains the mind body connection and the stress response in greater detail if you're interested, or you can read the books below which are excellent resources. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help. The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Besel Van der Kolk When the Body Says No by Dr. Gabor Mate Solving the Autoimmune Puzzle by Dr. Keesha Ewers (good read even if you don't have autoimmune symptoms) Also keep in mind that female sexuality is more responsive than male sexuality, meaning men are more apt to be spontaneously in the mood while we're more likely to become turned on while in the process. Don't put demands on your body for it to perform the same way as a man's. Women's sexual response is different than men's and that's something to embrace rather than try to fit ourselves into a box that is not in alignment with our own experience.

Turned on by the thought of cutting myself?

sexualhealth

ip7d1o

Plenty of people are into pain as a part of sexuality, but going to that degree probably isn’t the best way to do it. I would advise researching safe BDSM practices and taking it from there!

Knife play is a fetish. But it’s one that should only be done by a dom who knows what they are doing. I’ve always wanted to try it.

Do I have ED?

sexualhealth

i062e6

Maybe try and not masturbate for a little while and see how it goes? It might just be that you were masturbating so often for a short period of time (something I'm sure many young men have done) that you might need to give your boy a break. This could also be a mental thing along with the above. The more desensitised to porn you become, you could possibly find yourself getting not as hard.

I am ashamed to talk about this with anyone, so I thought I'd ask this here.

Post at /r/cureED

Tips on how to have safe sex

sexualhealth

fdjreb

*Over half of people dont know they are infected and dont show symptoms as they spread it to you. *condoms are cheaper than kids *gonorrhea is increasingly untreatable-not kidding *you could pick up HPV 16 or 18 and spread it to a girl and give her cervical cancer which is treatable for her but they usually have to take chunks out of her cervix making it extremely difficult for her to carry a pregnancy Hows that to start?

Use a condom. You are not mature enough to be in a condom free relationship. Figure it out

You mentioned sobriety and that may be your key. People have horrible decision making skills when they are inebriated. It’s all fun and games until you catch something or get hurt in the process. It’s just as important to protect your partner as yourself. Be prepared and keep them on hand especially when you are drinking. Keep some in your car, bedroom and on your person. If there is a worse time to not wear a condom, it’s when your drunk and having a one night stand.

Go look up how much child support will cost you in your province/state. Consider that if she’s not willing to yeetus le fetus, you’re going to pay that *at least* for the next 18 years, every month.

Hey i think i got balantis too...does it make your penis tip bit infected like swollen??

Was I molested??

sexualhealth

cdvmac

I’m really sorry that happened to you. That definitely counts as child molestation, it is almost certainly the reason you have trouble with your relationships with men and you should talk to a therapist to work through these issues. Just bc he was under 18 doesn’t mean that he gets a pass on inappropriately touching a child. What he did was crime and you a likely not his only victim. There are a lot of resources out there like support groups and help lines. Start with RAINN.org, they’ll be able to point you in the right direction to begin your healing. You aren’t alone and you deserve to be happy.

You were, and you should. I'm sorry.

He definitely molested you, and it isn't your fault.

[deleted]

Is it wrong to asked someone if they are STD neg?

sexualhealth

u0uqxl

I don't think it's wrong. It's just a personal question, and that could possibly offend the person you're asking. From experience, I never had a problem asking, and still had sex after asking if they were clean. So instead of asking if they're STD negative, you could phrase it differently, like asking if they're clean.

Is my dick normal?

sexualhealth

sx94ta

You seem to have a mild form of phimosis. [Phimosis](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phimosis) is a common problem, millions of men have it more or less severe. In most cases it can be cured by [stretching](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phimosis#Nonsurgical). I recommend to see an urologist (or PCP/GP to get a referral) first. If that is no option in the near future, try OTC hydrocortisone/any other corticosteroid cream (depends on your home country, sometimes there is cream containing 1 % hydrocortisone, sometimes there is only 0.5 % available without prescription from a doc. Your pharmacist will advise you.) Apply gently twice a day and retract the foreskin. Let it slip back and repeat, but only so far that it doesn't hurt. Some men prefer to do it under the shower or while bathing - you'll find your way. If it doesn't go easier after a few weeks or anything hurts permanently or you have any other concerns, see your urologist. Also the [wikiHow Phimosis](https://www.wikihow.fitness/Do-Phimosis-Stretching) might help a lot. '[A Phimosis Journey](http://phimosisjourney.com/)' could give you some new perspectives of what stretching can do. Try [r/Phimosishelp](https://www.reddit.com/r/Phimosishelp/) as well. Before considering circumcision read a bit at r/CircumcisionGrief and get a second opinion of an independent urologist.

Girl here so not an expert but I remember a guy telling me he had to have an operation before because his foreskin was too tight. Basically a circumcision. But I think it was causing him issues like not being able to wash properly down there. So might be worth checking was a doctor.

How old are you...does it only not open when erect, or not when soft either?

Hmmm... Before you go and decide to get cut, try doing some manual tugging and stretching exercises. If you can manage a warm bath and some 10 minutes of casual stretching you might be better off.

Is it overkill for me to want to keep using condoms in addition to an IUD in a relationship?

sexualhealth

qj3o2a

If you’re not comfortable with potentially needing an abortion, then yeah I’d recommend still using condoms for vaginal penetration

If you feel more comfortable having sex with a condom, then use a condom. Of course that's totally up to you. But... Yeah, if STIs are a non-issue, then I'd say it's overkill. IUDs are REALLY effective, much more so than condoms. In terms of preventing pregnancy, the additional protection of a condom is really negligible. If you need the condom for the psychological comfort, that's fine, but your odds of getting pregnant are not going to be meaningfully changed whether you use a condom or not.

I don't think so, i would definitely use a condom if i was in your situation

I’ve been having unprotected sex with monogamous partners since I got my IUD. No pull out, either. Never been pregnant. I feel like to avoid pregnancy, adding condoms to an IUD is kinda overkill. However, it’s your body and your decision. What IUD did you get? If it’s the non hormonal, copper one you can still use a hormonal birth control pill. Birth control pills are more effective than condoms. I also feel like it’s important for you to know that in the .01% chance that you do get pregnant with a IUD that you’ll likely need to get an abortion regardless of you feelings on the matter. IUD pregnancies have a high chance of being ectopic which is a medical emergency.

Sex toys?

sexualhealth

pfn6wv

Usually the descriptions at the shopping sites are quite accurate. Also, there are almost always multiple user reviews where you could get additional information. Also try r/SexToys and get some [basic knowledge at their wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/SexToys/wiki/index). For your horribly abusing mom: Depending on the country you live in, get a post box or go via drop off/pick up shops of major parcel delivery companies or the like.

I know this won't help you much because I'm not a man. But if I were a man I would definitely get a fleshlight. I bought my man one and it's so soft and smooth and feels really good - I even rub it against myself sometimes (he tells me to get my own ha!). He likes it a lot. He can use it while he goes down on me or if we want to have a make-believe threesome. Again, no way to know for sure but I think it would feel fantastic while you were being penetrated. Most places mail them in discreet boxes. But if she opened it she'd see. I'd say go pick it up from a drop box type location.

Do girls like giving blowjobs or they just do it for the guys ?

sexualhealth

m0o418

Not all girls are the same. I’m sure there are both opinions from women. I suppose the more appropriate question is which is the majority?

Yes. We do. Maybe not all of us, but a lot of us do.

Don't think majority matters. I just was curious to know if there are any that like it, no matter how small the number

Depends on the guy. Sometimes it's genuinely amazing to do, sometimes it's just like oh well, I hope he likes this.

I love giving my man a bj it turns me on af

Are these wet dreams?

sexualhealth

l5fwyd

Get busy during day time and workout.

Don't think there's any way to stop a wet dream , i get them too

How to feel pleasure? How to have fantasies?

sexualhealth

k9gk07

Low libido can have a wide range of causes. Among them are depression/anxiety/stress, smoking, alcohol abuse, drugs, medication and the lack of physical fitness. Just check whether any of them apply and begin appropriate treatment with the help of medical experts. Has a doc told you about elevated prolactin levels after lab works? If so, what consists your 'cure' of? Sexual pleasure often is related to libido, but might have a physical component also: sensitivity. Increasing sensitivity is done best by adaption. Adjust your masturbation technique gradually to a very light 'few-finger-grip' and use lots of lube. Also vary hand positions a lot. For new ideas or fantasies there is a wide range of erotic videos/stories available. Just google your preferred genre.

Masterbated To A Picture Of Myself?

sexualhealth

ihde3p

Fairly normal as long as your not missing out of life functions, then it's be narcissistic and even then it just a character flaw, if anything if you can preform and finish while looking at yourself you be more comfortable with sex than your partner 9/10.

I. Don't. Think. There anything wrong with that? It's pretty much like looking at yourself in mirror while masterbating. There's nothing bad about it.

We are both virgins. Can we still get an STD?

sexualhealth

i0hb6n

Please get tested (both of you) for all STDs, including hepatitis and HPV. If not yet done, strongly consider vaccination against hepatitis and HPV. With any positive result get treated and retested. Read about other infection possibilities (e.g. diarrhea through gut bacteria, oro-anal), start [here](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexually_transmitted_infection) and [there](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Safe_sex).

Not to be a dick, but don't take people at their word that they are clean and virgins. Test, test, test. STDs are one thing where trusting someone doesn't have them is not good. Test and verify. In terms of risk, the impact of certain STDs (HIV and Herpes) is lifelong. If they care about you and want to be intimate, they should be willing to go get tested.

!remindme one day

Feeling awful after wet dreams?

sexualhealth

hwe9ll

There are many factors potentially contributing to a wet dream. Including the possibility that you are prone to wet dreams after you've caught a minor viral infection/cold. Maybe you get a cold because the wet part cools down too fast overnight. Just masturbate more often, that will reduce your wet dream frequency.

Ive... Never had a wet dream wtf...

Was I assaulted?

sexualhealth

gv3axv

If you never gave him the okay, he should’ve never done it. The same goes for everybody. I personally, would say this is assault. I hope you’re doing okay, if you ever need anyone to talk to just message hun❤️

Less pleasurable over time?? Is this normal?

sexualhealth

glb9m6

You should try tantric sex. https://www.mybabymagazine.co.uk/post/an-interview-with-eleonor-wright-on-the-path-life-work-and-freeing-yourself

This can be normal. Essentially when you hold off or wait there's a build up/ anticipation that can make things heightened. Make sense?

Also I wanted to mention that pelvic physical therapy can include desensitization to cure vulvodynia so i imagine the vagina can create its own desensitization but i havent confirmed that. And then if you are suppressing your estrogen that will play a factor

Could literally just be an ask your doctor part, you didn’t say how far into trans you are but if you’d made the change talk to the doctor or surgeon that helped earlier. It might be a complication.

How to stop wasting my time with these emasculating thoughts?

sexualhealth

g1b8et

Proper bro to bro talk. Dick size doesn't matter. And if it does then compensate in other ways. My wife sometimes jokes about my average sized dick but I take it as a joke. I've even sometimes joked back and told her its because her vagina is too big. We have that understanding that its a joke though and that understanding comes with time. Compensate in other ways, make sure your mouth game is strong, women want stimulation and pleasure, find the g-spot or what really turns her on and go with it. I've slept with a few women and the common feeling was pleasure, not just a phalic object inside of her. Feeling emasculated comes with how you perceive yourself. Not everyone has a big dick, or a straight dick, or a circumsized dick. As men we don't talk about stuff like this because we feel its, for lack of a better term, "gay". But I feel its so much healthier to just embrace what you have and work it. Find a girl that loves you for who you are, average sized dick and all! All the best bro.

I really feel for you bro. This sort of thing, I usually tell people that the only way to get through it is with their own determination. No one else can make you think different. There's many things to try, but you need to find out and explore what is going to help you feel masculine. In the meantime, don't worry about other peoples opinion. Harder than it sounds, I know, but honestly try. Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one, and most of them stink.

Hi. To start off, I am a female. I can honestly tell you, there is nothing wrong with you and society is mostly to blame for your negative thoughts. I am married to the love of my life. He is by all means, average. And you know what? He is the biggest size I'd ever be able to take without pain, especially when overly excited. Ouch. Vaginas, much like penises, come in all sort of shapes and sizes. Even when properly wet and lubricated, mine happens to be a tight squeeze. NOBODY enjoys tearing pain whenever they have sex. Also, if you are talking length, vaginas also differ in length, not just width. Nobody enjoys having their cervix rammed into either! It. Hurts. A. Lot! And it can bruise, meaning you hurt afterwards too! It is not a problem of "how big your penis is" but rather a problem of sexual compatibility and expectations. For the most part, when you find a partner you truly connect with and have similar sexual expectations/likes, it does not have to be a "perfect fit", because it never will. You make it amazing with technique and foreplay instead and plenty of aftercare. Try new things, see what works and what doesn't. Enjoy the experience. Don't get stuck in a rut as you might find yourself obsessing over the wrong thing when things are less exciting. Chin up brother. You're just fine. Quick edit: hearing "is it in?" also most likely has nothing to do with you. Depending on the level of wetness, a woman can also feel a lot less. If she was particularly wet and you were not quite at a good angle, it really was not you.

Legitimatly worried about how small my penis is

sexualhealth

euysgp

Anything less than 3 inches erect is considered a micropenis. I know transgender men use DHT to induce growth and that may or may not work for you, you would have to see a doctor.

Is it normal to have sex dreams if I’m a Virgin?

sexualhealth

dpjvkj

It's quite normal to have sex dreams without having had sex, and it's nothing to worry about!

This is perfectly natural and healthy! I can't say whether or not to the sensations in my dreams felt similar to the real thing because that was to many years ago. I will share with you that what made my first time so special was more about my feelings towards my girlfriend and expressing them this intimately. While the act itself was incredible, it was still awkward and I didn't last to long because it was the first time. The act itself was better the more we "practiced" and learned what felt good for both of us.

I love to eat ass. Is this unethical?

sexualhealth

6nxs6f

Should I feel guilty for having so much sex since being on prep?

sexualhealth

tt57qi

First, what is prep?

too many sex without condom will lead to infertility because of the accumulation of different bacteria from many men.

is there a healthy way to get a higher sex drive? (also is my drive low in the first place)

sexualhealth

s5maiw

6'2", 60kg, perhaps you need some food kcal loaded

First, always double check your diet whenever somethings off in your body. You are what you eat. Literally. Some foods will boost testosterone and in turn increase sex drive. Do you work out? Strength training will increase testosterone and cardio is good for being able to keep blood flow to the dick. Whenever I stop doing cardio, its always difficult to go harder longer. And last, everyone’s favorite subject, supplements. I’m a big fan of stacking yohimbe, horny goat weed, and a good test booster (nugenix is really good. I like axe and sledge brand as well). I know, I know everyone. Test boosters are snake oil. Sure. But fenugreek, d aspartic acid, etc.. are still decent adds to the stack. But I can’t recommend yohimbe and horny goat weed enough. Also, arginine and citrulline. They promote “pump” and blood flow. Or really any good nitric oxide booster. Also, how are you? How’s your mood? It’s hard to get sexually aroused when life’s fucking with you. 18’s a tough age. Stressors of life, and growing up. Adding on top of that, the aggravation of the situation. As cliche as it is to say, just relax. In 2 years, you’ll have a whole new set of problems. Finding someone to talk to and confide in is a super important part of life. All you need is one person. Spouse, parent, friend, pastor. Hell, even the homeless guy on the corner you give a dollar to every week. If you can’t listen to my problems for a dollar, I want a refund. Okay, sorry. I got off on a bit of a transit there. Anyways hope some of this was helpful. Best of luck bud. Sending hard dick energy your way! 8====D

These are the five most common things men say to avoid using condoms (according to an article). What do you think?

sexualhealth

povy8p

I'm not on any contraception so my partner almost always chooses to wear one I've never known a guy yet to try to actively avoid it think that would just kill the moment for me

The only one I haven't heard is #2 I agree with the doctor - get it all out before sex is even on the table. If they truly don't want to use a condom they can move on. But that doesn't really apply with hookups so we have to be firm in the moment and realize that this small amount of possible pleasure is not worth the risk of the possible consequences. What do you think about it?

i dont know why men do that

[deleted]

Why do I have so many sex dreams…?

sexquestions

11fxhln

General Question

Often more sex dreams is a sign of a higher sexual frustration but there’s no harm in having them.

Do people prefer a guy to shaven or not

sexquestions

11fiudk

Advice Needed

Personally I like well groomed but not shaved. In the end it just depends on the individual.

Wy wife likes trimmed on top, but wants the balls smooth. I prefer trimmed or shaved on her.

That’s different for everyone… personally I don’t like armpit hair on anyone but all the other places I like it… especially down there… :) ( especially when it’s cleanly trimmed ) that counts for men and women in my case

Am I overthinking?

sexquestions

11fl2ds

Pregnancy Scare

While yes, there is a slight chance, combined with the fact you've taken a plan b (which I don't think was even necessary) you should be good to go. Consider wearing a condom during anal sex as you're exposing eachother to a higher risk of contracting an STD. More [info](https://www.nhs.uk/common-health-questions/sexual-health/does-anal-sex-have-any-health-risks/) Just to be clear, I'm assuming you meant it glided across your vulva?

There was no need for Plan B in this instance, I’d be more concerned with an infection from moving feces/bacteria onto your vulva/vaginal opening. I hope you washed up straight away! Always use a condom with anal sex, bacteria and feces in the urethra can cause infections which can later be passed to you orally and vaginally. You can test 2 weeks post sex for an accurate positive and 3 weeks post sex for a definitive negative. Pink dye test, first urine of the day, dollar store ones work as well as expensive ones. If you’re becoming sexually active it’s time to make changes so that you can do so responsibly. You can read about your options [here](https://www.onemedical.com/blog/healthy-living/birth-control-guide/). If you’re too young to have already seen a gynecologist you can reach out to your nearest Planned Parenthood for assistance. Simply google “Planned Parenthood near me” and give them a call. If you have concerns about your parents seeing something on their health insurance please give [this article](https://www.bedsider.org/features/275-the-girls-guide-to-getting-some-privacy-on-your-parents-health-insurance) a read about your rights with your parents insurance. If you’re unsure of your insurance information you can visit your pediatrician’s office and request a copy of your card they have on file. You can also check out [this list](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/birth-control-online ) of the 9 best online sites for birth control, emergency contraception and other medications. They don’t require insurance. You can also find great support at r/birthcontrol. If you’re in the UK you can visit [Brook](https://www.brook.org.uk) for all you sexual healthcare needs. You can also find a ton of resources for help worldwide in many different languages through Women First Digital [here](https://womenfirstdigital.org/) they cover all women’s sexual health needs including assistance with access to safe abortion options.

Way overthinking it. No way you’re pregnant

how do foot fetishes work for women?

sexquestions

11euqxe

Kinks/Fetishes

How do they work for men? Not being sassy, I mean it

Best way to stay safe from stds?

sexquestions

11eih5b

General Question

The only way to 100% avoid STI’s is to avoid all sexual contact and sharing drinks! If you do engage in sexual activity your options for protection are avoid kissing, latex gloves, condoms and dental dams. It’s important to get tested 2 weeks and again in 3 months after every new partner. This includes encounters with “virgins” and with the use of barriers. Barriers greatly reduce the risk of transmission but no barrier is 100% in its ability to protect against STI’s. Different STI’s have different incubation periods and if you test too early you can get a false negative. It’s important to re test after your initial 2 week test for an accurate STI status. It’s important to be aware that a standard STI test only test for the coming STI’s which don’t include Herpes or HPV. If you want a full panel STI test done you must request it. HPV is tested for during your annual Pap smear and HSV can only be accurately tested for with an active sore. You can read more about barriers and STI risk [here](https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/what-stds-do-condoms-not-prevent) and [here](https://www.cdc.gov/condomeffectiveness/brief.html). If you have concerns about HIV you can also read about PEP [here](https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/basics/pep.html ) and [here](https://www.healthline.com/health/hiv/post-exposure-prophylaxis ) which is a medication that helps prevent HIV after exposure. It must be started within 72 hours of suspected exposure and taken everyday for 28 days. Not to be confused with [PREP](https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/basics/prep/starting-stopping-prep.html) or [Apretude](https://www.everydayhealth.com/hiv-aids/fda-approves-first-shot-to-prevent-hiv-cabotegravir/).

Condoms and honesty… always use protection and go to the toilet to pee right after sex… it’s never 100% sure and if you have doubts go see a doctor right away :)

Don't share body fluids, or break any membranes or skin. You could mutually masturbate, or try your best with condoms. Avoid oral sex and kissing.

Is it normal for hormonal teens to masturbate to things like men even though there straight

sexquestions

11e6a2n

General Question

Sexuality is a spectrum. You can be straight and still not be completely turned off by male genitalia. There just aren't enough words to describe every possible combination of sexual orientation. That being said, its perfectly normal for a teenager to start exploring their sexuality. Just remember that whatever they end up liking (and/or disliking), doesn't make them any less of a person and doesn't change who they are.

Do what feels good for you no need to label yourself as you said yourself you’re a teen… maybe some day you might label your self as part of the lgbtq and maybe not… take life as it comes you can’t change it anyways so just enjoy what you are doing

💯 you could identify as the guy you are watching. Seeing their pleasure makes you think of your pleasure. In general, so many people watch porn that include things they don’t like in real life. But if other times in life you are turned on by men, then maybe you might be turned on by men.

Am I a “cuck”

sexquestions

11c239z

Kinks/Fetishes

No, this is Stag and Vixen. A cuckold has to do with denial and degradation, watching their partner be satisfied by someone who can “do it better than them” while they’re denied sexual access.

I have a friend who is a cuck. The way he does it is his girlfriend keeps him locked in chastity to prevent him from having sex. However she will go out and have sex with guys whenever she wants. She will also bring some home and fuck infront of him. He says he loves it. That he can’t please her and that the other men can. He also says he sucks her boyfriends cocks and guides them into her pussy. I don’t really get it? I mean i would never let my boyfriend fuck another boy besides me much less a girl. I need to cum too after all.

My boyfriend don’t want the sex right now in the relationship. What do i do?

sexquestions

11aunt8

Advice Needed

There isn’t anything you can do outside of support him during this trying time and invest more heavily in self satisfaction. It’s common for stress to kill a libido and until that stress is alleviated it’s unlikely the libido will return. Spending more time masturbating or finding more fulfilling ways to masturbate may help. Incorporating new toys, [edging](https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/edging-orgasm-control) and audio porn (r/AudioPorn4Chixxx) can really enhance your sessions. You can check out this great list of toys below. For clitoral I suggest a [Wand](https://www.lovehoney.com/search?q=Wand&searchButton=suggestion&lang=en_US), it covers a wide area, easy to hold and has strong vibrations. This [Hands Free Vibrator](https://www.lovehoney.com/sex-toys/vibrators/clitoral-vibrators/p/dame-eva-ii-hands-free-rechargeable-clitoral-vibrator/a39664g73486.html) is perfect if you’d like to be using your hands for other things. It’s also a great shape to control with one hand and covers a wide area. For overly sensitive clits I suggest suction toys like the [Womanizer](https://www.lovehoney.com/sex-toys/vibrators/clitoral-suction-vibrators/p/womanizer-x-lovehoney-pro40-rechargeable-clitoral-stimulator/a36927g74431.html) and the combination stimulator [Womanizer with G Spot stimulator](https://www.lovehoney.com/sex-toys/vibrators/clitoral-suction-vibrators/p/womanizer-x-lovehoney-insideout-rechargeable-g-spot-and-clitoral-stimulator/a39565g81525.html). Note about sensitive clits, often this means you will get more reliable orgasm from indirect stimulation and should focus on exploring the other zones of your clitoral network. For G Spot I suggest either the [G Spot Womanizer](https://www.lovehoney.com/sex-toys/vibrators/clitoral-suction-vibrators/p/womanizer-duo-rechargeable-g-spot-and-clitoral-stimulator/a40897g74518.html) or a [G Spot Vibrator](https://www.lovehoney.com/sex-toys/vibrators/g-spot-vibrators/p/desire-luxury-rechargeable-curved-g-spot-vibrator/a37736g69917.html). The first combines clitoral suction with g spot stimulation, can elicit very strong orgasms from the combination stimulation. The second has a very ergonomic grip and powerful vibrations. For A Spot I suggest you check out this very nice [Thrusting Vibrator](https://www.lovehoney.com/sex-toys/vibrators/dildo-vibrators/p/fun-factory-stronic-real-rechargeable-realistic-thrusting-vibrator/a40075g73297.html) or this [Thrusting Rabbit Vibrator](https://www.lovehoney.com/sex-toys/vibrators/rabbit-vibrators/p/happy-rabbit-thrusting-realistic-rechargeable-rabbit-vibrator/a38897g71507.html). The first helps you focus on just hitting your cervix while maintaining a pattern for you and the second combines clitoral stimulation with cervical stimulation for an intense orgasm. There is also this awesome little toy [here](https://www.lovehoney.com/bondage/sex-swings-machines/sex-machines/p/lovehoney-love-motion-remote-control-warming-thrusting-sex-machine-set/a45437g81895.html) for more power during penetration. For U Spot I suggest a bullet vibrator like [this](https://www.lovehoney.com/sex-toys/vibrators/clitoral-vibrators/p/basics-vibrating-finger-bullet/a16031g18264.html) model or [this](https://www.lovehoney.com/sex-toys/vibrators/bullet-vibrators/p/rocks-off-rainbow-7-function-bullet-vibrator/a31452g68642.html) model. For Anal I suggest you check out a piece like this [Vibrating Butt Plug](https://www.lovehoney.com/sex-toys/butt-plugs/vibrating-butt-plugs/p/lovehoney-butt-tingler-10-function-vibrating-butt-plug-3.5-inch/a28501g70101.html) or a set like [Multi Shape Set](https://www.lovehoney.com/sex-toys/butt-plugs/butt-plug-sets/p/lovehoney-bumper-booty-bundle-anal-sex-toy-kit-6-piece/a37704g69868.html) which will allow you to experiment with different sizes and shapes. A great shaped dildo is [this one](https://www.lovehoney.com/sex-toys/dildos/non-realistic-dildos/p/tantus-charmer-silicone-g-spot-and-p-spot-dildo-6-inch/a5208g5211.html) for a more accommodating and stimulating shape. At the end of the day however, craving sex is so much more than craving an orgasm. You’re craving connection, intimacy and touch. Self satisfaction will not satiate those needs. You can talk to your partner about helping out in ways that don’t require penetration. Manual stimulation when he’s not feeling up to full blown sex can do wonders for quelling your sex drive. This allows you both to have a quick but intimate moment together and doesn’t require her to be on the receiving end. You can both visit [this site](https://missjaiya.com) and take the quiz on the 5 Erotic Blueprints. This quiz will help you both understand yourselves and each other’s type of arousal. This can really help you communicate better sexually. You both can invest in [sex therapy](https://www.healthline.com/health/sex-therapy) to see what can be done to find a working compromise between your libidos. These professionals specialize in all manner of sexual problems and are your best source of support when dealing with mismatched sexual desires or libidos. This is something you both need to be on the same page for, if he is not interested in finding a greater balance between your libidos or exploring sex or his attitude towards sex with you, then it would be time to self reflect and decide if you can continue this relationship in a healthy manner. This means accepting that you will be sexually frustrated but not taking it out on your partner. If this reality is unsustainable it would be time to accept you two are incompatible and end the relationship before things become toxic for you both. From a mental health standpoint, staying in a one sided relationship, which at least sexually that is what this is, is serious. The toll it can take can have lasting or permanent repercussions for you. It may benefit you to work solo with a therapist as well, outside of the work you do together as a couple. There is a great article [here](https://www.healthline.com/health/relationships/one-sided-relationship) on one sided relationships.

Pee drinking safe?

sexquestions

119qol9

General Question

You shouldn't be introducing urine into your body. Urine is >90% water, but that doesn't make it a drink. The rest are different chemicals that your body is actively trying to expell. Drinking urine will reintroduce them into your body. While not toxic or immediately harmful, and I'd speculate small amounts really won't do any harm as you're just going to expell them again and you have an immune system, they are a waste product. Additionally, urine can contain trace elements of medication you are taking and can contain both good and bad bacteria picked up from your urethra. [Source](https://www.healthline.com/health/drinking-urine#safety). To sum up, while a shower won't be armful for you, you shouldn't be investing urine. Additional comments: Please remove and clean your chastity cage and penis at least every few days!!! This means cleaning your penis fully, preferebly with dope as you would during any normal shower, and not just petting water run over it. Make sure you're keeping your chastity cage up to the same hygenic standard. Clean it inside and out to avoid the buildup of nasty bacteria through prolonged wear.

How to get better at dirty talk? What to even say?

sexquestions

118ul4u

How To?

I suggest reading some spicy romance books. It'll give you some ideas. I do have recommendations if you tell me what kind of books/things you like. Or I can give you random ones

I need help too!

People have mixed feelings about porn, but honestly, you can pick up a lot of tips and tricks. Of course the whole scene, scenarios, and even positions aren’t realistic, but there is a lot of good info. Lol I’m not pushing it by any means, but it helped me. 🖤

You should check this sex coach out [here](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LpQDZVe9r5E). There’s also some great info in these articles [here](https://amp.mindbodygreen.com/articles/how-to-talk-dirty-guide) and [here](https://badgirlsbible.com/?s=How+to+talk+dirty).

"Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs" "Whoopsie-doo here comes the goo" "It's Taco'clock and here come the beans!" "You're so much tighter than your dad" "15 minutes could save you 15 minutes or more on car insurance, but I'm not going to take 15 minutes"

How legit is this tip?

sexquestions

118bivl

Advice Needed

Honestly this sounds like some stuff these 'dating coaches' 'pickup artists' say. Now, I can't tell you if it's true or not. There's obviously a lot of psychology involved in relationships, so I just really can't exclude the possibility. But... It just honestly sounds like a load of BS. Try and be the best possible version of you, that you can be. I'm no woman but I know what I'm looking for in a partner is someone who is confident in themselves and who they are. And I honestly doubt that's much different for most other people regardless of gender.

Are there potential risks for oral sex with the gum?

sexquestions

117r138

General Question

That is disgusting, he should definitely not be doing any of that. This can absolutely lead to infections.

He can't stop chewing gum to do that really he really needs to evaluate his head skills

Yeah just wait for you to scream “blow a bubble baby”

I’m a bit taken back that he feels the need to chew gum when he’s doing these things but I’ll try to stay on task. Lol Gum contains sugar which can cause infections. He needs to take it out, stick it on the nightstand for later, then take care of you properly. Gum free.

Everything they said I agree with 100% OR he's not really into giving oral and is trying to curb the natural taste of vagina. Either way, he shouldn't be doing it with gum in his mouth. If he doesn't like the taste, he should try using flavored lubes specifically made for oral sex. Personally, I love the taste, smell, and everything involved sooooo yeah.

Do women in their 20s prefer younger guys or older men?

sexquestions

117fy1h

Kinks/Fetishes

Hmmmmm. It would be hard to give an exact answer as every woman is different. Most young women do find it appealing and a compliment for an older man to show interest. Your age would have an effect also. Women in their 20s are more easily groomed and manipulated so it really depends on your reasoning for targeting that specific age group.

[removed]

Question about consent

sexquestions

116wj9r

General Question

Ask not tell? It's definitely a learning experience so some guidance perhaps but just giving orders isn't usually hot.

Even with a hookup there is a warm up period where you chat a bit and do light touching. It’s rare you just jump right into plowing, and if there is a virgin involved it’s the least one can do to be respectful. During this period you can talk about hard no’s and desires, reinforce your openness and desire for feedback if anything feels bad or uncomfortable during the act. If one desires to be led or to lead it would be addressed then. No matter what kind of relationship pre exists, sex is about creating a safe space within which two or more individuals can let go enough to experience and give pleasure.

It’s just my opinion, but trying to go all out your first time with sex or with someone new isn’t a good idea. If it’s someone you have a romantic interest in, then sex should come at a later date. It would be hard for a virgin to be able to tell someone exactly what they like and don’t like. Even someone with some experience. There’s not a lot of experience to back it up. So start vanilla. Start with kissing and work your way along the bases as time goes by. I feel you should have enough of a connection established and been together long enough to know the basics of what that person would be ok with, without having to ask during sex. It’s always better to discuss things before you have sex rather than afterwards. But not on the first date with a potential love interest. That makes it seem like that’s the only goal. When someone is constantly asking me permission to do things, it’s a buzz kill. So I prefer there be an established connection/relationship of some sort where all of that was talked about already.

Consent is about making sure that the other is OK doing what you are doing to them. That can be discussion before any sex at all - "what are you looking to get from sex?" type questions, but also during sex. So, if you never had any prior discussion, then yes, ask each step of the way. Because: better safe than sorry, especially with someone you don't know that well yet (sexually, that is). Asking everytime before you go one step further is polite, thoughtful, and shows you respect the other person. When my partner and I met, he took great care in asking every single step of the way and we were 34 years old at that point! I remember him diving between my legs, then stopping himself, looking up at me and asking, out-of-breath, "is this okay?" Very cute, and very sexy. Now after years together, we both know exactly what we like and what we don't, so we no longer do this and we trust that we can tell each other if for whatever reason we're doing something we don't like. But that trust can only grow over a longer period of time. It is unfair to expect someone else to have their wits about them during sex and be able to say 'no', particularly if the other person is also feeling fear. That may lead to a freeze reaction, in which that person can no longer move or speak (a bit like how a deer may freeze in the headlights of a car). That is why consent should be **vocal** and **enthusiastic**, and not just implied. I also don't think "more experienced" or not has got anything to do with anything. Sex tends to flow automatically, and naturally. Sex is about going after what you want at that point, with consent of course. Someone who had more sex than you did may know a bit better what they're into and what they like, but the reality is that sex with a new person really is like never having had sex before at all. At best they'll know to find the clitoris, for example, but knowing what one person likes, does not mean they know what the next person likes. Sex, as such, is best described as an exploration, together, and individual experiences, and not as "one big overall experience level that we gain in life".

It's going to turn out positive if you ask the first about their experiences. If you are the other person has never had an orgasm, then it could be problematic. If both of you are orgasmic, then you probably should know how the other person responds and what they enjoy. The likelihood is if you just jump to intercourse, it's probably not going to be rewarding.

Do woman who love their partner care about what his penis looks like or it’s size? Someone please lmk…

sexquestions

115g163

Advice Needed

It is definitely factor when based on visual stimulation and physical pleasure alone. If the girl is really into you it won’t matter to her nearly as much even though it’s not ideal.

If someone loves you they won’t give a shit, at least I don’t, I love my partner & every part of him. Just stay hygienic & clean yourself well & it’ll be okay. Don’t overthink it. :)

There are people who do care and people who don't. Id advise you to seek out the latter. Imo it shouldn't matter. I have never seen a penis or vagina, no matter how odd looking, that didn't get me turned on. And that's how it should be. Everyone's unique and we need to accept that and love people for it.

It is my experience that it's men who care about penis size, not women. Every penis looks different. I have yet to see two penises IRL that look even remotely similar. Porn penises are.. well, like everything in porn. Fabricated, standardized, not matching reality in the slightest. No, the woman you will marry will not give a shit about what your penis is like, she'll love your penis because she loves you. That's because you will marry a woman who you really vibe with, who thinks similarly to you, and you don't care what her vulva looks like either. :)

Well if she loves you, I don't think that's going to be that much of a big deal.. Sex is far from all there is in relationships although it's a nice aspect

First time with a girl how can I keep away from std’s?

sexquestions

1147m6c

How To?

This is actually a really good question, I’ll do some google research and get back to you cause I’m actually really curious on lesbian safe sex now

You can use dental dams, latex gloves and avoid kissing. Those are your protection options. It’s responsible practice to exchange test results prior to play if you have time (like outside a hookup or ONS). Though this isn’t a guarantee someone is clean it’s still due diligence. You can’t get an accurate STI status until 3 months post your last sexual encounter. This is because of incubation periods for different STI’s. So even with the fresh results you want to test 2 weeks and again in 3 months after every new partner for an accurate STI status. Be aware that testing for HSV without a sore is an unreliable test and the only way to test for HPV is during your Pap smear. You can read more about barriers and STI risk [here](https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/what-stds-do-condoms-not-prevent) and [here](https://www.cdc.gov/condomeffectiveness/brief.html). If you have concerns about HIV you can also read about PEP [here](https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/basics/pep.html ) and [here](https://www.healthline.com/health/hiv/post-exposure-prophylaxis ) which is a medication that helps prevent HIV after exposure. It must be started within 72 hours of suspected exposure and taken everyday for 28 days. Not to be confused with [PREP](https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/basics/prep/starting-stopping-prep.html) or [Apretude](https://www.everydayhealth.com/hiv-aids/fda-approves-first-shot-to-prevent-hiv-cabotegravir/).

How common is being into chubby/ fat women?

sexquestions

111tm75

Kinks/Fetishes

I’m a plus size woman. I’ve been a model and I have never had an issue getting a man’s attention. Being sexy and appealing to men is about confidence, not size. It is kinda sad it’s still looked at as a fetish but I personally choose to use that to my advantage.

I would say more common than being into skinny women.

I like chubies and bbws

My Mrs was chubby when we met in the 80s. She's been a lot thinner and now is chubby again. Chubby is lovely and sexy as hell.

I think as a general rule men try to find women who look and are shaped like them. Unless they are rich then it doesn't matter they will get a supermodel girl

Am i porn addicted or just have a high libido?

sexquestions

111mvp7

General Question

Unless it’s interfering with your personal and/or social responsibilities and/or you’re viewing more than 4 hours of porn a week you’re not dealing with an addiction.

You're completely normal my guy. No need to worry. Addiction starts when you're neglecting everyday responsibilities and friends and hobbies to watch porn and/or masturbate. About the whole no nut November thing. Just... Don't do it... Masturbation is healthy for you, especially your psyche. [Learn more](https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/sex-pleasure-and-sexual-dysfunction/masturbation/masturbation-healthy).

Try to masturbate without porn to see if you're addicted to it

I have had the same thought multiple times when I was your age and younger. And honestly I’m gonna repeat what the other comments are saying. Liking something does not mean you’re addicted. If it’s not interfering with work or your personal life then there’s no issue I feel.

To those who started having sex in their teens

sexquestions

10zwkai

General Question

I lost it at 11 to my best friend. Anal. That was after years of us having oral. Didn’t do it with a girl until I was 14. But I had a lot of sexual confidence by then. By 16 I just projected sex and found it easy to find partners. Do I regret it? Not at all. I was born with a high libido. Yes it spiralled into sex addiction and part of the counselling for that is confronting if I was a sexual predator. Numerous former partners told me I never pressured them but made them comfortable to explore their own sexuality. So I’m cool with that. I don’t judge others on it in fact I had a gf in HS who remained a virgin when we dated. I respected her decision. Then I’d go get a BJ from a friend because that’s who I am.

tried it at 13 with my first bf. we hadn’t been dating long at the time but we were mutually very curious and talking about it the whole time. it hurt me a lot so we didn’t do it for very long, and that experience kinda stuck with me and gave me a problematic relationship with sex for the rest of my teens. lots of frustration and sadness that i couldn’t do it without pain— which quickly turned into anxiety that made it hard to relax which would just make it hurt more which just led to more frustration. i quickly became withdrawn sexually, but then i had sex with the same guy when i was 20 and it was a lot nicer. we were older of course and had a much better emotional foundation as friends, and long story short it essentially “fixed” a lot of my issues with sex. it’s hard to say i regret starting so young because i know a lot of the issues it caused were also the result of mental health issues i would’ve dealt with anyway, and i don’t think waiting until i was 20 would’ve bypassed all the emotional issues i had surrounding sex. but there is a little regret nonetheless. i don’t envy or feel bad for people who started later, i just hope it was a good experience for them whenever they started. i think it’s alright to have sex in your teens although waiting until you’re older will generate allow you to deal with unpleasant situations (stis, pregnancy, emotional issues) better than a teen could.

Everyone is on their own timeline. I had sex when I was 16 with my boyfriend of 3 years, and I did experience a lot of shame around it, but I think that's just purity culture, especially surrounding women. It definitely wasn't "everything I'd ever hoped for" - but I'm not sure what you mean by that. Looking back, I guess I could see the benefit of waiting a bit longer, but I dont regret it. We were "in love", he was my first boyfriend, we thought we were going to be together forever. Typical high school story. Again, everyone is different. I can't speak to having sex extremely young, as I was 16. So for different people, having sex in their teens could've been a bad or good experience. For me, it just was what it was. It felt normal because it felt like everyone was doing it (which we all know isn't true). But starting younger doesn't necessarily mean you'll get better at it or more confident. I've been with men in their 30s who never even attempted to touch my clitoris during sex (yikes). Having sex won't magically turn you into a confident, mature person - you will most likely be the same person, but having sex. I don't feel bad for virgins at any age, and I don't envy them either. Everyone is different and I respect them for making the choice that is right for them.

I had sex for first time when I was 13, with my boyfriend who was my age. I don't actually remember who "initiated" it, it was just something that we both agreed to do eventually and then we did. It ended up being all kinds of awkward and a bit confusing but we enjoyed the hell out of each other's company anyway. We only did it a few times really at the time - we didn't actually start having sex regularly until we were 15 or so when literally every one of our friends were talking about sex. My parents were pretty cool about it, didn't really hassle us. Was it a good thing or a bad thing? The more I hear tales I guess we ended up being pretty lucky. I liked my boyfriend and he liked me and my mom was cool with all that and we knew the school nurse was there if something was going to go wrong. But I don't think every teen is in that kind of a lucky position. It can go horribly wrong. I don't think having sex in the teens really made me more confident or made me mature faster. A lot of people I know didn't have sex in their teens, and I don't think they're any worse off or better off, and I really don't belittle anyone for leaving sex until later in their life. A lot of people just tell me being sexually frustrated teens is just one of the life experiences to them.

I was 15 and did it just to “get it over with”. Who initiated? No clue. Don’t really remember it at all. I’m in my fifties now and it is the biggest regret of my life. Not so much the when part as the who part. Teenage boys can be such asses and he was a bigger one than others. But he was paying me attention when all I’d heard all my life was “4 eyes”, “ugly”, “flat as a board” and others. So the attention was great. Was it worth it? No. Is it a bad thing for others to start in their teens? Everyone is different so I couldn’t say. Also, what kind of hypocrite would I be if I said it was bad. I commend people who waited especially if they are/were waiting for the right person. I don’t agree with the notion/belief of waiting until marriage. Sex is a big part of married life and if you find out you’re not compatible, your life could really suck. But I don’t condemn anyone for that belief either.

Do I have an STI?

sexquestions

10zfthf

Advice Needed

Fishy smells aren’t really normal for guys, especially after washing. It could be several things: infections like a UTI, yeast, balanitis, etc, as well as an STI - gonorrhoea and chlamydia are the usual fishy culprits. I’m not sure what country you’re in, but STI testing is usually quite easy to get hold of. Though in the absence of other symptoms like burning or frequency of peeing, discharge, itching or soreness, I would be more inclined to see a doctor (GP or sexual health clinic), just to rule out non STI causes.

Dude it’s your dick. Your dick. If you got a problem don’t be embarrassed because it’s your dick.

Get tested. It’s quick and easy.

Any other symptoms? Pain or burning when urinating? Yellow or milky discharge?

The only correct answer here is: go to a Dr./ Clinic and get checked out.

Normal to NOT want sex?

sexquestions

10yeih6

Advice Needed

Might be hormones. I never want to have sex bc I find it boring. Lol I have a hormone imbalance

There's many reasons for this. Some BC can cause low libido, you might have something from your past mentally blocking you or, and this is what it sounds like to me, you're just asexual. Asexuality is a very broad term and encompasses many different types of sexual wants and needs (and obviously not wants and not needs).

It's also possible your partner isn't as good or motivating as they could be. I usually start any sex off with a 10-45 minutes full body massage and going down on her to climax before intercourse. I always put her needs first, complement her throughout the day, relax her with comforting shows or put a video on to help distract her from her anxiety, and I don't push for requiring reciprocation. If it's just her and I finish her 3 times, and I get nothing, that's just how it goes.

Many people go through this. Could be the stresses of life, hormones, or depression. Might help to talk with a therapist. Might not help. Exercising might help, or it might not help. It's being human.

Should I hire an escort to take my virginity?

sexquestions

10wl80w

Advice Needed

Why are you worried about it? It’s not a competition to have sex by a certain age. I wish I waited. My first time was horrid! I was 19. Now I’m with someone I’m in love with after waiting years. I wouldn’t rush sex. Not worth itb

If I was dating a guy and found out his first and only sexual experience was with a sex worker because he wanted to loose his v card I’d be more turned off then if he were just a virgin. Sexual experience comes with a lot of time and practice so one time isn’t really going to get you any further ahead.

Head over to r/sexworkers, read the pinned post then search "virgin" in that subreddit. This gets asked pretty frequently over there :)

If that's what you personally want, then you'll gain nothing from sex with an escort. That will likely feel mechanical and disappointing o you. Furthermore there's nothing "first time sex" will teach you over "never had sex", really. You're not past any socially accepted date to never have sex. You're you and you do you at your own pace and tempo and the trick in life is to find people who match who you are and what your tempo is, in all aspects of life. Everyone has different circumstances and different needs, different wants. The goal of your life should never be to match whatever you feel the great majority of the world wants from you. The goal of your life should be to find what makes YOU happy, and find people with whom YOU can be happy. This realization, once it set in for me, removed so much life stress. So what if you haven't had sex yet. YOU want sex with someone you love. Well, go for THAT. No matter what age you'll be at when that happens. And also, as a random nugget of info, sex, really, is not something you learn in one or two times. Sex is not something we learn at all. Sex is fluid, it changes all the time, we change too - what we like, how we like it. Different partners make for different sex too, and even the same partners change how they like sex too. It was really not my first time when I met my partner, and compare the sex we had the first time to the sex we have now - it's not at all the same. My point is, sex changes. Sex is about exploration, together, with someone you love, growing together sexually. Physical gratification can play a major role in sex and may be why people look for escorts or one night stands, but that's not what it sounds like you're after. And you should respect that.

Why not? They're sex workers who have kinda seen it all. You'll have less pressure to perform and they will cater to you and help you with it. Tell them it's your first time and you'll need help and I'm sure they can guide you through it. Just know that the first time will be crap and that's okay. That being said, I know it feels pressuring to have already had sex by your age, but it's normal to not have done it at your age. What age you have sex at doesn't mean anything about who you are or how desirable you are or aren't. Sex can be special, but its also isn't. It's whatever value you put on it.

How can I stop thinking about sex?

sexquestions

10s3cbi

Advice Needed

Yes, this is normal. The phrase “Sex begets sex” is true. Having sex raises your sex related hormones and increases your desire for sex. It’s in large part what has kept the species alive! Similarly when you start masturbating it’s really exciting and you do it often. Libido waxes and wanes in a healthy adult, if your sex drive is high it may be frustrating without an outlet but it’s normal. You can increase masturbation or continue meeting with your new partner. If you need to concentrate on school best way to do so is masturbate before sitting down to study or masturbate before leaving for school, etc. This won’t kill your libido completely but it will greatly help to control it.

How do I tell my partner I want him to dominate me?

sexquestions

10mhtwy

General Question

Just ask him in a neutral place and outside of sexy time. This might feel awkward but allows him time to process and decide whether he’s comfortable to do that. It also gets the questions he might have about your past out of the way so you’re not having them in bed. Also you have to respect that he might not want to, but that’s something to get to if it happens.

[removed]

Maybe share with him why you would like that. It is often easier for the partner to take a more dominant role if she/he knows why that turns you on. Often times it is a kinky way of letting go of control for the submissive partner.

I like to have silly conversations with new partners, not during sexy times. Sometimes I do it over text too, when we're not in the same place. I'll ask a bunch of questions (some funny, some serious), and eventually move towards sexual ones. Usually they're super game to keep talking about these things, and if you admit some kinks they often start letting them loose too.

Tell him right after blowjob. Start aggressive and tell him to continue

Do most people like receiving AND giving pleasure?

sexquestions

10mf97b

Advice Needed

Well done for admitting this… it expect it’s more common than you think. And yes, I’m sure we have all done things solely to please our partner even though they’re *meh* for us. How far you’re willing to go to make someone happy is something only you can answer and depends on your relationship. Blowjobs and handjobs are not always arousing, and sure, it’s okay not to enjoy them. It might be ‘worse’ after you cum - like a guy not being horny after cumming, we women have reset periods too. There are other things like women tending not to be so visually stimulated and stuff like that, that could all be at play here. There are options such as maybe dominating him and/or telling him to do it himself while you watch. Or maybe mutual masturbation? Make it a game to see if you can cum at the same time or something?

Everyone's different. There are TONS of people who love giving pleasure most. There are TONS of people who like both equally and there are TONS of people who like what you like. Depending on the day, how often you do it and what mood you're in I would honestly suggest trying your best to do him every once and a while. But in the end this is only a temporary solution. You need to have a talk with your partner about this issue. Maybe you can both find a way to make things equal and fair for both? Maybe you can come to an agreement where you don't do much other than playing around a bit when you're not both super in the mood enough to make eachother climax? Or as the other comment suggests you could try turning it into a game. Maybe your boyfriend likes hearing and watching you being pleasured by yourself and can watch you? Maybe there's a way you could buy him a remote control sex toy where you have the remote? Have you discovered a way for yourself to get turned on even when you're not in the mood? Have you considered the possibility he might not even have noticed because he gets off on pleasuring you or for any other reason? All questions that can be answered by a sincere consensual judgement free conversation with your partner. Consensual, I mean don't spring it on him. Take your time to introduce the topic so it's not such a shock. He might be preoccupied thinking of something else.

Your partner is going to feel your chemistry. If you don't have it, then he will know. Hopefully he is astute enough to ask you about your orgasms. If he does be honest. I've had women respond differently with all kinds of experiences. Had one tell me the only way she has orgasms with a partner is if he rubbed his dick between her tits while she squeezed her legs together-- and only she could control the pressure. I had another tell be she really prefer to dry hump me and everything else in the room. That was how she routinely orgasmed. Got to be honest with people, because they rapidly know if you are lying.

I sexually fantasize for 8-10 hours a day even when I really don’t want to. How do I stop?

sexquestions

10mfuhe

Advice Needed

You need to reach out to a [sex therapist](https://www.healthline.com/health/sex-therapy) as this is quite serious. Without professional support I don’t see this improving.

This is something you need to speak to a sex therapist about as a matter of urgency. It’s harming your social and school life, and is harming your relationship with you girlfriend, and possibly your friends and family. Being unable to control sexual urges like this is something that needs to be addressed urgently and by a trained professional.