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French | Qui peut m'aider J'ai été dans un endroit très bas depuis Juillet Quelque chose s'est passé dans ma vie qui m'a fait vraiment reculer loin de tout ce que je ne voulais pas retourner à l'école Je voulais prendre un an pour trier mes pensées mais les parents ont mis la pression sur l'appartement Ils ont une lèvre supérieure raide Aider les parents à garder le calme et continuer à travailler Je n'ai pas compris que je n'avais pas d'argent |
French | Dans cette hypothèse, combien de capsules de Prozac fluoxetine quelqu'un qui pèse lbs devrait-il prendre pour assurer la mort, je ne suis pas inquiet si cela va être douloureux ou me connaître, je veux juste un nombre et les chances de me tuer, je suppose qu'une bouteille presque pleine serait suffisante pour vous donner un peu plus d'informations, je suis à la fin de mon adolescence. |
French | J'ai fait mon plan savoir ce que je vais faire maintenant que je n'ai jamais voulu avoir un impact négatif sur les gens malgré l'impact qu'ils ont fait sur moi, je me suis dit que ce serait plus facile si j'ai été kidnappé ou tué dans un accident bizarre afin que personne ne puisse me qualifier de faible ou de manipuler la situation pour attirer l'attention. |
English | You don't have to read this it's too long I couldn't care less and or more, but I have little actual life in Mathis is just another one of those days Another meaningless effort to socialize and be part of the collective without drawing attention Of course my mind wasn't going to let this down Multiple professionals have diagnosed depression and Asperger s but only fairly recently I feel like shit on a solid majority of the day and always turn to memes and videos to distract myself I have a pretty dark humor and enjoy abusing it to shock those around me which inevitably pushes them away Obviously I take my choices in practicing that abuse Main focus is a nihilistic approach at things with an affinity for factuality Our existence is meaningless null and void until we ourselves make the difference But I never could bring myself to do it The closer I get to real life and all it entails the more I try to reject it both sub and consciously I am repulsed by the idea of having to struggle even a bit so that I could continue living at a satisfying point I have little idea what real ward work is and never planned on finding out years of age seem long enough since I kept hating myself for about a third of them and thought I wouldn't last before high school graduation I have gone to several doctors all while aiming to fight back against my instinct to deny their help Taken pills drugs of different kinds anti ts could only do so much Because of the aforementioned and in addition to an enjoyable imagination I find human life to be uninteresting and lacking of a specific charm, so I would always wonder why we aren't endowed with more fascinating abilities that have been conceived recorded and shared through hundreds of thousands of beloved stories I keep fantasizing about the big what kind of answer I would give to an offer of wishes and go over it again and again trying to perfect the phrasing the expression the absolute perfect way to request my deepest desires to the dumbass higher power that has the ability to grant them while incapable of understanding them completely Ultimately I feel like scum for living in my own head more than on the outside, although I refuse to do anything to change it I deserve not what was given to me from birth and if only I didn't care about the people i ve interacted with just enough so I despise the idea of potentially hurt anyone at the news of my death I would have already left |
English | I'm not sure how I made it this far I was first depressed back in when I was a sophomore in high school When my brother killed himself in I was in disbelief Why couldn't it just be me instead I think I'm wasting my time living right now and this world is getting fucked over really fast Everything seems to be pointing toward suicide right now I have no motivation to move out of my parents house and do something I have no motivation at all So I might as well make everyone s life easier by eliminating a problem I don't feel depressed right now I'm just starting to think it s in the best interest Like I've never had sex and I probably never will I'm wasting everyone s fucking time right now I just wish suicide wasn't so difficult to reach because of regulations |
French | J'ai eu une petite rupture aujourd'hui Ma vie est tout ce que je veux Ce n'est pas parfait et j'ai une dette jusqu'au cul de mon ex-mari Mais j'ai un toit au-dessus de ma tête et un petit ami merveilleux et de soutien Et tout ce que je continue à faire c'est de pleurer. |
French | Je me sens comme un habitué de cette histoire de Subreddit HTTP WWW Reddit com r Suicide Regarder les commentaires de quelqu'un Je suis fatigué J'ai ressenti un manque de motivation distinct pour la semaine dernière, mais il se transforme en quelque chose de familier que la voix à l'arrière de votre tête vous dit que je devrais juste abandonner J'ai perdu toute motivation pour parler aux gens Tout ce que je fais, c'est me réveiller dehors et aller au lit |
English | Beginning of the end didn't even realize it s gotten to this point until it's too late Every day I say less and less to the people around me, I don't want it to be like this I try I fucking try, but it feels like no one wants to talk to me like I just annoy everyone around me The few friends I have never spoken to me Most of my messages are left on read or if I try to make plans nothing happens I know they all have jobs I don't take it personally I understand It just hurts I feel so fucking alone My girlfriend and I hardly ever speak she never seems interested in any conversation she always seems angry our conversations are always blunt and brief I feel like I have no purpose anymore The only joy I get out of life is the times when I used to laugh with people where I made people happy where people wanted to talk to me No one ever makes the first contact with me my parents never want to talk to me, I fucking hate being back here I can't talk about how I'm feeling because I feel like no one cares so why would I talk about this Every day I just want to end it all I don't want to be here any more I don't want to hurt any more I don't want to be alone anymore I just want to fucking die I hate the life I have I just want my friends back I want to feel loved by my own family again I want to be in the honeymoon phase again I fucking miss feeling a sense of purpose |
French | Est-il raisonnable de se suicider au-dessus de cette Hypothétiquement parlant Si la personne A est un homosexuel enfermé et transgenre et qu'ils vivent dans la planète M est un endroit où l'on n'est pas autorisé à voyager en dehors de celui-ci et ils seraient ostracisés et exécutés si elles présentent toute forme de croyance de comportement qui pourrait indiquer qu'ils sont homosexuels transgenres Donc personne A n'aurait pas d'autre choix que de passer une vie de temps à prétendre être quelque chose |
English | I don't want to really do it but wish to do it is may be stupid for some not for me, I m in my mid-twenties and in my the semester of law school One semester to go I got my makes for an exam yesterday and it's horrible Barely percent I just wonder why this happening I put a lot of effort and this happens For semesters I did everything to do well but I'm still just above average Yesterday s marks just makes me think is there any point in anything All the hard work goes if a teacher thinks that has to happen I broke up with my GF of a long distance relationship a few months ago She never really helped I would tell her my problems and I'll know what she will say She tries to be supportive But her answers weren't enough I don't have a lot of friends I have a few friends from school I'm close to, but I feel I m in their circle just because I've been in their circle for so long, and they don't want to say anything about it My college friends suck I got like two friends who talk to me I'm in too much pressure The world is cruel I don't want to work hard anymore as I work and work and still don't get very good results I think of dying, but I don't think I have the courage to go through it all I can't think what my family think and what everyone will think An uncle of mine killed himself a few years ago I'm so lonely But I don't want to see anyone Everyone is busy to talk to me, I think I'm an embarrassment to my family I don't have a goal I just want to survive So I got no real friends no love no goal and I don't know what to do I'm just tired of working How will it feel to die I wonder I'm anyway empty inside Only thing wanting me to live is the fear of death The fear of ending things |
English | Why always hated myself from the way I look to just never being good enough for anyone even with my childhood best friend of years whom I talk to almost everyday I still feel at arm s distance Nothing good ever came from my life Good grades not good enough to get into college Good man not good enough skin color for the girl I love s parents I was on the brink of just disappearing then I got into an accident where my face got extremely scarred The confidence that used to be the only thing I had in my corner is gone I'm just a burden that incurs bills and problems to those around me |
French | J'ai foiré grand temps voir au camp de l'église il y avait cette fille que j'ai vraiment aimé que je suis bi j'ai dit quelque chose de si stupide que je veux encore me tuer deux semaines plus tard et beaucoup de mon ami me détestent pour cela, j'ai dit que je vous désavoue mais d'une manière plaisante je ne savais pas qu'elle a été renié je me déteste je me suis coupé ce soir-là et ai le A si vous lisez ceci |
English | I just can't make close friends, and it is literally killing me do have a group of friends and some outside of the group but no one really wants to be a close friend to me Someone has told me that I'm a little different, although they apparently saw themselves a friend with me, I did not Someone else was fine being friends but has told me I am not a priority in their life He has made no effort to include me in much of anything for a bit now while I continued to extend the friendship branch for a long time hoping for it to grow Other friends of friends make minimal to no effort to talk to me Even though I try to ask some then about themselves Another friend will talk to me and agree when I say lets meet up soon But then he essentially will imply he is busy and send me snaps of his partying over the weekend My first every girlfriend was only with me for a week Blamed me for her mental health issues and told me we essentially had nothing in common Like IDK how you would know that in several weeks, but you do you I am having suicidal thoughts, but I don't think I will act on them, I am just somewhat sick of being lonely and struggling to form close bonds socially It is like whatever I do I can't win |
English | I am an emotional garbage fire and all I want to do is extinguish it I've lost so many friends so many acquaintances because I am an emotional garbage fire I never learned how to correctly deal with my emotions since I always hid them even from myself Now whenever I allow myself to show them I can't filter myself I project and they're so volatile when I do that it just makes everyone else around me worse off I swore off finding new friends after I lost my old best friend chai because of all this but then I met my fiancée and now I realize that he doesn't think I care about him and his feelings because of how much I project and talk about things that are hard for him to hear when I know he's going through shit himself I'm doing it again I'm doing all of this over again I just want it to stop please just stop I just want to be normal and be able to deal with my feelings without hurting others and dumping my baggage on them Therapy psychology pills medications nothing works I can't fix it I don't know what to do God I can't do this I just want it to be over I try to fix it is just never stays fixed I feel so alone because I drive everyone away I don't want to lose the only person I have left I'm considering just drinking the antifreeze in my car I don't want to, but I just feel worse and worse I don't know ways wrong with me, I'm sorry I just want something to fix this I want to be normal I want to be able to have friends and not be deathly afraid of doing this shit to them The world is better off without someone like me What am I even doing anymore |
French | Je vais mourir bientôt me tenir compagnie alors qu'il est possible que je vais vraiment mourir bientôt ce n'est pas une merde de dépression que je suis en fait, donc très malade n'importe qui peut me parler pendant ce temps |
French | null |
English | Have you ever dreamed about death and dying I keep a dream journal off and on Occasionally I'll have a dream where I'll die or am seconds away from dying with no escape possible I'll dream I'm about to get T boned by another vehicle or have just fallen from an impossibly tall building or that a raptor just popped out of the ceiling and bit my head off lol And each time it's just so fucking nice you know In my dreams I'm usually aware that I'm about to die and have absolutely no means of stopping it Just before impact I can feel myself overwhelmed with peace and I think Finally this is it I m done it's over and I had a pretty good run When I wake up I feel briefly refreshed almost as if it had actually happened I love those kinds of dreams I had a sort of kind of near-death experience in real life once, and it was the same thing just the most amazing calming yeah let s go kind of feeling I honestly don't want to kill myself I don't want that kind of responsibility and I don't think it'd be fair to go until I've sorted out some shit and I can barely even shower everyday so that's no happening anytime soon But if death came hurtling out of the sky I'd be like Yes finally I'm ready Take me now |
English | I'm so tempted m so tempted to kill myself and no one knows I hate myself so fucking much |
French | Je me sens aimé calme et en sécurité quand je pense au suicide Je me sens comme il est temps d'aller Quelque chose de terrible s'est passé Quelqu'un me fait mal à nouveau Il me déshumanise et travaille à détruire ma vie et mon avenir Je serai à l'abri de toute l'humanité en me tuant Je vais aller au magasin et m'acheter ce que je dois m'échapper Je vais trouver un animal mort Je me sentirai triste tout à l'heure |
French | Je suis sans-abri depuis deux ans maintenant et je ne pense pas que les choses iront mieux Salut y tout c'est ma vie n'a jamais sur un bon pied, j'ai abandonné du lycée a obtenu un emploi dans un entrepôt perdu qui et finalement fini par vivre dans ma voiture pendant deux ans, je me sens comme j'ai eu une chance d'être quelque chose que j'étais intelligent et équilibré comme un adolescent. |
French | J'ai essayé de me suicider en me coupant les poignets, mais un ami est tombé et m'a bien sauvée. C'est trop beau pour être vrai. Je sais pas. J'ai l'habitude de vivre dans un endroit où j'avais une politique de porte ouverte pour les amis. |
English | Why live when we die anyway No matter what I do I will die Why bother with living at all then |
English | Why do i exist hate my life I hate it all why cant I just end it Fuck me I want to die I'm tired of this shit |
English | Apathetic towards life Basically I'm going through an intense existential crisis Can't sleep because I'm thinking constantly about the meaningless and futility of human existence and the fact that nothing that humans treasure in this world actually means anything to me and that I would be equally fulfilled spending the rest of my life in a small room living on bowls of rice as I would living the mundane life of the average American forming superficial relationships with other and climbing the corporate ladder until I either save up enough money to retire and play bingo with other dying people buy a beachfront property like one of those snooty rich white people you see on HGTV or be like the average American and work until I meet my inevitable death Even if I become a doctor the lives I save are going to end anyway Even if I become a politician whatever country I try to save is going to crumble eventually anyway Even if I become a writer my words will be lost someday and one day every trace of humanity s existence will be wiped out and forgotten Literally the only thing I can think of that I would dream of doing would be to travel the world and see as much of it as I can but even the excitement of that is being stamped out by the constant overflowing of information on the internet about the world Why save a shit ton of money to travel to Japan when you could go online and look at pictures read travel blogs listen to their music on YouTube do a bunch of other stuff that effectively would ruin the excitement of your life experience There are so many people better of than you that you can just live vicariously through and even if you don't frequent the internet very often you're still bound to at some point feel like you're experiencing some form of sensory overload with the media constantly in you face all the goddamn time Everything just feels like it's already been said and done and I'm pretty honestly bored with life |
English | Depressed life is worthless don't know what is real anymore I have nobody to talk to and I'm tired of talking on anonymous boards on Internet I wish I could just stay in some hospital where would be at least somebody listening to me no matter if they do that for money or not I don't know if I have a psychosis or what is wrong with me The only person I've talked with regularly in the past year is telling me I'm a worthless whore and if I died it would be better for everyone I have nobody but my cat here and people are avoiding and ignoring me I feel I'm not even here any more I don't know what I am who is me who does these things wakes up in the morning types this keyboard I don't have any real friends or anybody who would appreciate me for who I am I mostly just hear that I'm a meaningless whore My own family is hating me too My family has so many problems physical and mental abusing alcoholism and my mother suffers some sort of neurosis because of all the stress they have in my home I suffered from that environment as long as I was conscious about myself and my environment and some months ago it all came too hard for me to bear, and I moved away There's no reason for me to be here I wish I had at least one person that would like to talk with me, but I know nobody I'm entirely lonely I see no reason being here I don't know what to do I have no reason to breathe or do anything what the hell should I do if I don't even want to move any of my limbs or think any of the thoughts going through my head I wish I could stop being here and just wasting everyone s time Stop being this worthless whore and do what's best for me and kill myself before I destroy anyone s life A depressed life is worthless I don't want to live this kind of life I wish it just ended If I had a gun it would be so easy I don't even know any ways to kill myself How fucking pathetic is that |
English | After years of depression I finally decided to give dating a shot again Didn't go well In the title I went on a date at a nightclub and I thought the night didn't go that bad I said bye, and she agreed we should do it again sometime When I got home I saw she blocked and unmatched me Absolutely crushed and beginning to think there not a place for me on this earth years of pain and self-hatred just to have the knife twisted as soon as I try to help myself and get myself out there as many people tell depressed people to do Completely lost |
English | Girlfriend threatening to kill herself My girlfriend F has been dealing with mental health issues for a while She has always refused to get help Now it got bad to the point she wants to kill herself She just said I will not study for my midterm tomorrow because I'll be dead before the final exam She refuses help because she says that even if she gets better she will have nothing to live for I know how it feels I had depression years ago How can I help her I am totally clueless and genuinely worried that she might hurt herself |
English | IDK fuck life m not smart at all Not attractive depression OCD anxiety and crippling social anxiety for years I'm an extreme loner and too depressed to make any connections with people I have no passions and have to painfully force myself to do anything I have to raw dog life because alcohol isn't pleasurable to me Weed isn't Magic Mushrooms just gives me psychosis paranoia anxiety at this point Man made medication is poison to me Therapy might help anxiety a little but I don't go it's too expensive and tough to find a good one I have been unemployed for over a year I am fucking useless I just want to die and be gone forever All jobs suck Why go to college if I can't hold down a job Ineligible for military I already failed with killing myself so fuck, Fuck life |
French | Donc nous avons rompu il y a presque un an, et c'était une relation de courte durée, j'ai eu le sentiment que quelque chose était en place, mais il n'a jamais voulu s'ouvrir à moi et j'ai respecté le fait qu'il m'a laissé dire qu'il avait besoin de se retrouver. |
French | J'ai besoin d'aide pour trouver un travail que je peux faire à la maison rapidement Je suis sur le point d'y mettre fin Je déteste ce travail Je déteste les gens |
French | La vie d'homme de merde est farfelue, je sais que je peux passer à travers cela et attendre des jours, mais qu'est-ce que c'est si douloureux, je n'ai jamais ressenti de douleur psychologique avant, mais celui-ci est putain de tranchant et au point que l'homme de merde, je ne sais pas combien de temps je peux supporter cet homme, baiser quelqu'un, s'il vous plaît, je ferai n'importe quoi, s'il vous plaît, je ne veux pas y aller. |
French | Je veux que ça se termine mais je ne l'ai pas C'est la semaine de l'enfer que j'ai traversé une longue période d'idées suicidaires douces avant, mais c'est différent C'est ce que je peux seulement décrire comme des vagues de suicide qui s'écrasent C'est comme je suis dans un canoë en pleine mer La plus petite vague renverse mon bateau et les fantômes affamés des profondeurs de la mer me tirent vers le bas avec une vitesse effrayante |
English | Why am I feeling like this yrs old have everything house dog family kids etc. iv been unhappy ever since my father died yrs ago had no one to talk to about it to this day i haven't talked to a professional about anything or even anyone at all I have everything in life yet why do I want to let it go if it wasn't for my partner and children i wouldn't be here right now I was good in school particularly in math scoring A s at GCSE and a level UK qualifications Yet now I work in a postroom pushing parcels living paycheck to paycheck miserable and never happy I can't even go out with my partner and the kids because I'm always unhappy and want to go home all I do in my spare time is play cs go I mean I'm rank off the highest rank but not even this makes me happy It's something I've done since I was play older versions of the same game Cant even think of it as a job prospect people tell me to stream but who would want to watch me glum and depressed playing games Why when I see disabled people who have everything stacked up against them are they always so happy I'd give anything to feel real happiness I work hrs a day fake smiling to colleagues I don't even know why I'm posting here as I can't think of anything that would help I mean if I could I wouldn't be here I guess |
French | Pourquoi ne devrais-je pas mettre fin à tout cela? Fondamentalement, le titre Mari avait une affaire parce que je suis devenu trop loin, j'ai perdu la moitié du poids maintenant dans un effort pour le faire m'aimer à nouveau, mais il ne fonctionne pas. |
English | Wow, thanks for the advice Cleverbot I got so lonely I started talking to Cleverbot and this exchange happened HTTP Imgur com a LRC |
English | I thought it would be better went to my first therapy session last Tuesday I was rescheduled to go the following Tuesday I felt better after the first mesh despite it just being a test Do you know what happened My mom cancelled it She pulled me out of it Said that she didn't trust them and I should go someplace better And now I'm going nowhere Fuck Why the fuck am I like this if I'm normal |
English | I don't want her to Carole person One person who cares One person who I live for One person who actually tried to help me One person who I love One person who is interested in how I feel One person who don't want me to die One person who I will hurt with killing myself I can't even fucking die without feeling guilt My friend please stop caring Let me go Find someone better You deserve better I don't deserve you |
French | Tous les conseils que je suis submergé par la vie m actuellement à l'université en ce moment étudiant la thérapie de la parole dont je ne m'en fous vraiment pas, mais le faire bc il pourrait me conduire à une vie stable et il y a tellement de pression sur moi pour finir l'université et les succès esp mon père il est jamaïcain les parents enthousiastes peuvent être si difficiles à penser à l'université et il me fait pression pour aller à l'école |
English | I don't see any future in front of begot shitty genetics worse than you can imagine internet is the only place I can barely socialize have zero motivation to do anything ugly and awkward Also people hate me before barely know about me, I get hated for no reason One year ago I was doing better I thought things are finally getting better, but now returned to the where I had started Just shitposting on the internet and begging for the attention i couldn't get in the real life And being depressed and numb all the day God knows that I still got dreams or hope but no one will accept me I will always get hated and dumped for no reason A person speaks me on the first meeting t is good but on the second day they will dump me to the oblivion This is a sick cycle I can't see any hope now light or anything they say t will get better but when If you really want to know how I feel just imagine that when you look in the mirror you are seeing your worst sworn enemy and have to live as this person Also I got zero skills as you can imagine Just don't be me |
French | null |
English | I don't know how much longer I can keep going thought that I was getting better but I've just been going back down the depression spiral and having an extended emotional breakdown I feel like I'm just taking my medication out of obligation at this point I've been lashing out at the people who are trying to help me I hate myself so much I want to hurt myself maybe burn myself with a lighter or go sit out in the freezing cold without a coat on I don't know I just want myself to suffer I deserve to hurt |
French | L’euthanasie, c’est juste moi, ça me met en colère qu’un être humain puisse plaider en faveur de l’avortement, mais qu’il soit contre l’arrêt de soi respectueux de la maladie mentale et de la douleur, les moyens et les méthodes disponibles pour mettre fin à une vie selon nos propres termes sont indignes et l’euthanasie dégradante devrait être autorisée par la loi. |
French | Juste besoin d'aide J'ai besoin d'aide J'étais avec mon ami, et nous avons rencontré une fille La fille était plus intéressée par moi, mais mon ami voulait plus Cela a fini dans une discussion Je déteste cette situation Bien je suis resté avec elle, et il est parti J'ai gâché avec elle, C'était ou je suis encore, et je voulais juste quitter Je pensais que je ne suis pas couché mais je suis parti Je suis resté avec elle |
French | Aucun espoir n'a dit à plusieurs membres de ma famille à quel point je voulais mourir et à quel point j'avais besoin de soutien. Ils m'ignorent et ne me regardent même pas, je suppose que cela signifie qu'ils ne se soucient pas de savoir si je suis vivant ou mort. |
French | Je ne sais pas quoi faire Besoin de conseils J'ai un jeune frère qui est évidemment aux prises avec certains problèmes Au cours de l'une de nos conférences, elle a mentionné avoir des pensées suicidaires, je lui ai dit que je ne l'avais pas pris à la légère et qu'elle avait besoin d'aide si ce sont de vraies pensées. |
French | Pourquoi est-ce que tout ce qui concerne mon ex m'envoie dans une spirale suicidaire Cela fait presque des mois que nous avons rompu et environ un mois depuis notre dernier contact, je suis allé jusqu'à supprimer toutes les plates-formes de médias sociaux pour éviter même de voir son visage, j'évite tous les déclencheurs qui me rappellent de lui en essayant d'éviter ce sentiment horrible et de passer à autre chose, j'ai vraiment peur ce jour-là. |
French | Je pense que je suis diplômé de l'université jeudi, je ne peux pas demander de l'aide parce que je vais avoir l'air manipulateur, j'ai été deux ans d'idée suicidaire constante, je suis extrêmement boulimique et déprimé, je devais être diplômé de l'université peut et je ne l'ai pas eu, je suis mort, je suis mort, je suis mort, je suis mort, je suis mort, je suis mort, je suis mort. |
French | J'ai besoin d'aide pls |
French | Penser à me tuer ce soir, je suis un homme d'un an, j'ai une épilepsie sévère ainsi que le trouble bipolaire Génétiquement, je suis à un risque élevé de développer la schizophrénie dans les prochaines années, je n'ai pas de vie sociale et aucun intérêt réel à en développer un pour la plupart, je ne suis pas en contact avec ma famille, je ne vois aucune raison pour moi de continuer. |
English | Why is life so cruel Why do I have to deal with life Everyone I meet has an incredible capacity for meanness Everyone enjoys sizing one another up grandiosely proclaiming who's smarter or who's more attractive or who's better I am sick of being judged on a daily basis in fact every minute it seems People criticize you for the smallest mistakes My family friends etc. are irritatingly mean I wish I could just relax and not worry about what I see as their pettiness I graduate high school in a few weeks, yet I hate the endless rat race that is life And, yet I would like to rise to the top I have to study hard I have to unctuously please people I hate I want to succeed, but I fucking hate the path to success I understand my perspective is warped as a result of my middle class comforts I am a hypersensitive person and my family brings this up often In a sense I am disabled because of this But why is my hypersensitivity trivial Why is it not important that my feelings are hurt more easily I feel like a failure I feel like I will never find love I feel like life consists of me futilely working hard for achievements that constantly escape me What's the point I'm not yet suicidal I just am disillusioned with life I hate everyone and everything Help |
French | C'est peut-être la fin que je suis moi et j'ai travaillé tous les types de travail que vous pouvez sans avoir un diplôme, je me sens comme je n'ai nulle part où aller et rien pour me faciliter la vie, je ne sais pas ce que je devrais faire de ma vie, je voudrais juste ne pas avoir à me soucier des factures, j'ai de l'anxiété, j'ai de l'anxiété, j'ai de l'anxiété |
English | I am done am I trying to put this together holding back tears I am years old today probably halfway through the life span I have I haven't had any problems or difficulties that most other people have I had a stable family growing up youngest among siblings I was bullied by a brother occasionally growing up but I don't think he meant any harm My college tuition was taken care of I have had a well paying job in tech since the last years I have had a stable job throughout my career and probably have a million or so in all my investments and savings I am trying to think of reasons why I hate my life but I can't come up with any I haven't had any of the problems that others in this Subreddit have experienced I am probably the exact opposite of some of you the person that everyone hates Yet here I am I don't really speak to my parents or brothers It s been years since I have spoken to either one Today is my birthday I realized that not a single friend of mine cares I am sitting in the dark typing this out while I look at my phone silent as ever No one knows I exist no one wants to go out for a party and no one wants to wish me a happy birthday I don't know how I reached here but I don't have any friends of my own I haven't been able to hang on to a girl since forever I don't even know why I am this way I never used to be this person I used to have friends a social circle I used to laugh I used to care I use to be passionate about work Now I've hit halfway point of my life and I can't fucking go through another years of the hell I am right now in Sometimes it's wiser to bow out rather than stretch through eternity in pain I think I have made up my mind I don't see any point of living through this None of you know me and I know none of you will miss me Goodbye It's hard to explain why I am doing this and I think my parents will be heartbroken when they know about it To anyone reading this after the fact and trying to make sense of what I did do realize that this was my decision I've given it thought I've given it time This is the only way out for me, I am sorry if I hurt you I am sorry for everything Goodbye |
French | Urgent s'il vous plaît aider merci N'importe qui à Singapour peut m'aider à faire un sac de sortie s'il vous plaît j'ai le réservoir d'hélium déjà juste besoin de quelqu'un pour m'aider à compléter le sac de sortie |
English | Help Me Please m in so much pain I've had Sciatica for months now and it's only gotten worse Sure the chronic migraines and headaches are still there but this is ridiculous I m at a consistent on the pain scale whereby hydrocodone takes it only down to a for hours I can't afford the MRI I need to be able to get a Cortisone steroid shot in the disc area of my back I can't afford any more chiropractic nor physical therapy I can't afford to see my therapist any more My landlord also decided to not continue my lease for next year I told them I wasn't sure if I was going to move they took that as a yes and already rented out my room just telling me today I have no energy nor pain free time to clean my room let alone find a new place to live I have around days My credit is show because I have a dollar medical bill In collections since November and I'm not going to be able to afford rent this month I can't work the hours needed to survive some days I'm in just too much pain I can't do this any more America doesn't allow me to live and be in pain I can't afford to eat be pain free I'm sick of wrestling and tossing and turning in bed trying to find some relief every hour's OF THE GOD DAMN DAY I'm sick of waking up at am in pain I'm sick of having no security or safety in my life I have no one to help me I'm a student and technically an orphan both parents are gone What do I can't get out of bed I'm not going to be able to survive much longer |
English | I'm not sure if it's being suicidal, but I keep fantasizing about stepping off a cliff It keeps making me feel peaceful The last time I felt this way was nearly two years ago I decided to go for a walk and I suppose I don't know what came over me, but I took a step off The next thing I remember is holding onto the safety fencing and trying desperately to pull myself back up I don't really know what to think but I'm thinking of it Not sure if I should go for a walk tonight |
French | Personne ne peut aider à poster ici trop je n'ai personne d'autre pour aller à mes proches sont fatigués de moi j'ai besoin d'être sauvé, mais seulement je peux le faire, mais je ne peux pas non plus mon petit ami prend mes médicaments avec lui au travail donc je ne sais pas ce que je suis perdu donc je vais me pendre je ne sais pas quoi faire d'autre j'ai peur de mourir, mais quoi que ce soit est mieux que cela je ne sais pas |
English | Sometimes like right now I think about how people would feel if i wasn't around any more I feel like they wouldn't care I normally don't complain because I don't deserve to complain, but nobody really knows what i ve been through I try telling people but they either don't believe me or they brush it off like it's nothing i ve been raped by my friend and I can't even remember their name I have friends that say they care but I know they don't I ask constantly ask my mom to get me help, but she claims I just want attention and i m done with it, i m just tired of being tired and hurt and happy one second then back to being sad nobody notices anything and i m tired of it I just want it to be over already |
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English | I am afraid of this life lesson because do not want to take it, yet I always fail at it looking for advice on my self improvement and character Detailed specific case please read before answering How can a small woman make people not mess with her without being mean and loud Warning long textSpeciffic case Feeling suicidal to the max at the moment and had two panic attacks Short prorogue rant explanation before going into the problem It is not my first time writing here, but I will try to be short as possible since I had a terrible and am not in the mood for writing Just to let you know that I am a woman and to give you perspective since most advices here are by men for men, and it is very easy to throw around some words when it is all men Like men have it easier because if they go to the fitness and make big muscles half of my problems that I have as a woman will be eradicated but I as a woman can't go out there looking like a tall manly monster while men can go away with it, I am aware this question must have been asked a lot in the past but what I see is only advice for men like to man up and to certain things, but I do not have money or resources to do most of them so if you are a man and give me advice give it with a grain salt knowing that I do not live in America but in Europe I am a woman, so I can't grow balls or beat up everyone I want to for fun or walk around freely with a knife or a gun like it was suggested in some other thread I saw P S I am not in high school, and it is quite offensive to think I am so now I am an adult Thank you The problem My life experience has shown me that it is foolish to expect everyone to be your friend and to be nice to you just because you are nice but the solution really annoys me and scares me because I know what happens when I put it to work everyone avoids me and calls me a bitch yet it somehow works for everyone else Many girls I know the most popular girls usually were really mean so were the boys So my nice ever tries to be mean or fight back when harassed, and it becomes a huge problem either the harasser laughs at me and continues to harass me or people just avoid me because they think I am confrontational and problematic which I am not I do not like conflicts but staying on my and never calling out people who used to bully me for years has proven to not be effective They just continue to harass me no matter if I ignore them or call them out on their behavior My goal is to understand this whole power play dynamic and why it takes place Does my type of personality attract bullying I remember having problems with it all of my life Let me explain why I had this short prologue in the beginning The stereotypical American online does not care much about the outside world The laws of my country are very, very different from America yet I have had people shame me for my problems or give me horrible advice in general or both No life is not an action movie, and I am not the karate kid No I am not an insert slur because I can't beat up a gang of guys on steroids No where I live it is not okay to take a knife and stab my classmates This advice was given to me by an American high school teacher so good job I always have to explain to my self because most people on here give bad advice, but some give brilliant and great advice that works for me, I am not saying all users are like those I gave example of, and I have blocked and reported these people I can write all day long about my encounters with weird people from Reddit and Quora, but the point is for me to get a good advice and not whine to all of you about each detail of my life Some males on here can't imagine the female perspective and give really terrible advices and some males on here give perfect universal advices that work for me, I am deeply flawed, so I have read books on self-improvement and I would dare to say that I have made small self-improvement which is better than none I had a panic attack today and yesterday was trembling and crying and felt like I was holding a really heavy box that I couldn't let go of After crying for an hour and a half I seemed to calm down but felt better I mentioned in my last post that I do not know any reasons why I am alive I do not speak about my thoughts anymore because one apparently Christian classmate made fun of me after I kinda shared this to her on a school trip I have been heavily bullied in middle and high school and have a hard time making friends I now have ptsd am full of shame guilt grief and struggle to find any reason to live I feel ugly and broken beyond repair and am ashamed to go to another psychologist I feel dirtied and r d and do not want to marry one of those people with the male genitalia or have children yet those who bullied me probably do not remember me and will have children while I will die alone I just want this to end, but now my parents watch me because I self hurt and stopped washing when I was and felt the most suicidal during the grade I still get waves of desire for suicide, but I find it hard to find my purpose I try to eradicate my on flaws people pleasing neediness blindness desperation Out of need for survival I was desperate for friends yet did not know how to make them so here it is like unwritten rule that if you are alone you will be bullied, and I am very vulnerable to bullying and can't deal with it which is why I was an easy target i couldn't defend my self and no one took me seriously and if I ever defend my self people either laughed or threatened to beat me up I also used to be overhappy which for some weird reason unnerved people I am not autistic or on the spectrum, but I have ADHD and sometimes my anxiety and ADHD create social problems, but I have never been good Half of the things I read about body language and communication skills baffle me, and they seem genuinely stupid like I avoid eye contact cause to me, it seemed perverted yet the dumb males think it is submissive and take it as a Que to harass me great job I am tired of this world and do not know what to mold my self into anymore to survive I am ashamed of the fact that I have trauma and have to deal with it, I have had strangers bully me and laugh at me and even old men flirting with me which made me isolate my self even more Important I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO BE A B TO EVERYONE IN ORDER TO PROTECT MY SELF AND SURVIVE AND SHOW THE DUMB MALE GENDER THAT I AM NOT WEAK AND I AM NOT UGLY AND I DO NOT WANT OR DESERVE TO BE HARASSED AND BULLIED If I am nice they harass me if I am mean they harass me Like what is the point they will go to the heartless pretty b anyway so I stand no chance and do not want my life purpose to revolve around the others and expecting of them to be nice to me, I do not feel like I am safe around men I feel like they would beat me up and I see women as a competition due to the hostile bullying in my past I know guys are dumb enough to fall for literally the meanest girls when I was in school, so I will no longer waste my time on them and just try to not my self and focus on me, I try to develop my hobbies, but my mind is plaguing me and I feel the need to my self by either taking overdose with pills or my father s pistol and just shooting towards my heart, so I would not miss Phrases like Pooh not all men are bad to scare me because it is a risk and times guys are horrible so it is not wroth if I do not want to date marry or have children I want to give up on men and realize this mindset is toxic but do not feel physically safe around those with the d CKS |
English | Would making an attempt of my life during this quarantine put a significant strain on the local hospital healthcare system Not sure if this is the right place to post this but a genuine question I live in the UK if that helps and would not want to do anything that would burden the system during quarantine and potentially endanger people s lives in terms of lack of equipment I can say beyond a reasonable doubt that nobody in my household has the virus so that isn't the concern but rather if things like ambulances ventilators or anything like that is in short supply |
English | Today is my birthday wish I killed myself last week |
French | Jeter un compte n'a jamais eu de plan avant, mais je veux me pendre maintenant, je suis convaincu que je fais cela pour attirer l'attention de tout le monde autour de moi. |
French | Aujourd'hui, j'ai essayé de me pendre deux fois La première fois que je n'ai pas pu obtenir l'accord de rester dehors comme la deuxième fois que ma mère m'a presque manqué ma tentative et j'ai réussi à le cacher pour le temps étant Pas de quantité d'auto-assistance à lire a été en mesure de me sauver Toutes les heures de méditation travailler sur la pensée positive de yoga et les affirmations ne pouvaient jamais apaiser mon âme |
English | I'm going to kill myself but I don't know how PLEASE HELP I don't have a gun There's no buildings I can climb onto and jump off of that would work Overdoses barely work I just want to die peacefully and not fail and end up institutionalized like in the past I just need to get out of this life before it gets worse, so please help I just want to die in peace I don't want to fucking be here anymore |
French | Plus tôt aujourd'hui, on m'a dit que je ne me soucierais pas si vous alliez vous tuer, je me sens vraiment comme de la merde, même si je suis outré de voir à quel point ma mère est sans cœur, elle est celle qui m'a dit ça, mais du bon côté, j'ai découvert pourquoi elle était si haineuse envers moi ces dernières années, je pourrais utiliser une distraction de la direction vers laquelle mon esprit se dirige. |
French | Je ne sais pas quoi DOI m donc je tout le monde je sais juste pense que ses hormones je me déchaîne incontrôlablement à ceux que j'aime je pense au suicide tous les jours de ma vie et je sais que si je dis à quelqu'un dans ma famille qu'ils me diront que je suis dramatique Quand j'étais et quartes je vais voler un couteau de la cuisine pour mettre fin à tout je suis fouillé partout sauf ma chambre j'arrive au point |
French | J'ai déménagé avec elle et sa famille pour l'aider à voir sa mère mourante qui avait des problèmes d'Alzheimer. J'ai travaillé à plein temps et je la soutiens pour qu'elle aille à l'école. Je n'ai plus d'argent pour la garder. |
English | I just possibly ruined my best friend and I want to kill myself now I went on to a fake Facebook account and scared my friend by being a stalker type Long story short she found out it was me said bunch of stuff and I m at the point where I want to kill myself now |
English | I really cannot do this any more I don't have enough money for rent this week I've started cutting again and I've pushed everyone I love away I want to die so, so bad but I'm too scared Will taking an entire box of painkillers work And would it hurt |
French | Personne à qui parler alors juste en tapant j'ai fixé une date a été forcé de le retarder une couple de fois, mais il en vaudra la peine Au cours du dernier mois, depuis que j'ai décidé de mettre fin à mon abonnement, j'ai remarqué quelques changements, je suis incapable de me motiver à ranger mon propre au travail, rien de tout ça. |
French | Pourquoi est-ce que j'existe même Se sent comme je suis utilisé comme un sac de frappe pour le bagage émotionnel des autres et ensuite jeté dans le froid comme un animal Est-ce ce que je suis ici pour j'ai des gens qui comptent sur moi émotionnellement qui seraient dévastés et n'ont pas de soutien émotionnel si je mourais mais d'eux je peux aller à je me sens comme une Dropbox où les gens abandonnent leurs émotions négatives jusqu'à ce que je suis débordant avec eux et ne peut pas respirer |
English | I've finally given UPI m done I'm finally going to kill myself tonight It would be best for everyone around me and no one would really care anyway Those of you who even bother to read don't Just stop now There s morphine in my house I know where my parents keep it If not they have a gun that I can use and if that doesn't work there's always the alternative of jumping off a bridge or some shit This is it no one will miss me that much anyway |
French | Th Of February sera mon dernier jour vivant Planifier de me tuer le mois de février Mon anniversaire qui se trouve être un jour après la Saint-Valentin Je ne tiens pas vraiment au monde tout est foutu ma vie est foutue mes parents sont foutus tout le monde me dit qu'ils ne peuvent pas le gérer donc vous devez le gérer et je ne peux pas gérer tout ce que j'en ai marre de ce qui est censé ne pas gérer. |
English | I don't want to live any more I'm btw My dad recently left me my twin sister my older sister who just had a stroke and my mom He was setting me up to take care of the family My mom is very emotional and I'm the only one that gives enough time to talk to her to calm her down But then my other alcoholic sister comes out of nowhere and makes her mad again It's just an endless cycle of drugs accidents and hurtfulness in my family My sister that had the stroke also was addicted to heroin for a while and ruined the family and then the alcoholic sister ruined it even more I don't want to be here The years of verbal abuse and threats that my dad said to me The constant needs of my family My sister that had the stroke can barely talk and walk so my mom and I have to help her a lot My twin and niece do nothing to help Absolutely nothing I lost all my friends because I was too much I've been let down over and over and over I just want it to end I want to just take a bunch a pill and be done forever |
English | Always ve always wanted to say goodbye turn around amp leave this world behind I've always wanted to let go Plummet into the dark unknown I've never felt like I belong Someway amp how I m what's wrong I've always had these feelings here For strange reasons I hold them near I've searched within near amp far Yet no feelings stand at par I've always had these feelings here Staring back at me through the mirror I'm not sure how I would react If they left amp never came back Because you see they're always here Filling me with sadness hate and fear I know I'd be without them and alone If I said farewell and let myself go I've always wanted to say goodbye Leave myself and this world behind |
French | Même quand j'étais petite, j'avais des pensées suicidaires, je me sens constamment dans la douleur, je ne sais pas pourquoi je suis comme je suis, j'avais l'habitude de pleurer la nuit quand j'étais petite parce que je pensais que quelqu'un me tuerait au milieu de la nuit et je pensais constamment à me tuer ou à sauter de la voiture pendant qu'il bougeait, je courrais la scène encore et encore dans ma tête. |
English | I m tired m always so tired Nothing brings me genuine happiness any more I just want to give up and I wish the people around me would just let me do it |
French | Je suppose que c'est que j'ai toujours su que je finirais dans la section nécrologique d'un journal de petite ville Mes parents en deuil trouveraient une photo de moi peut-être une de l'école secondaire et elle serait collée en niveaux de gris entre Doris Smith a survécu par sept petits-enfants et Emory Deacon qui a succombé après une longue maladie Les gens verraient que j'ai été seulement et se demander ce qui est un accident de voiture |
French | Une ballade tragique ma vie m en larmes que je dactylographie ce post Mon monde a toujours été un navire en train de couler Mes défauts me faisant sombrer dans les profondeurs les plus sombres des mers maintenues à flot par de petits patchs pendant un certain temps Je sens que les patchs ont été trop faibles pour me garder flottant Je n'ai pas d'amour Je vois des gens tout autour de moi trouver l'amour et passer au voyage de leur vie |
French | Si vous êtes sur ce sub votre probablement suicidaire m laid ce qui me donne envie de me tuer je suis et peser je suis une grosse baise et ne sais pas quoi faire avec moi-même |
English | Feel like my education was a waste and I'll never amount to anything Family has always and still tells me to do work I'm passionate about and what makes me happy I've always wanted to work in film TV video but I majored in Visual Communications because doesn't matter what degree you have got any degree I didn't want to go to a four-year university, but my parents gave the ultimatum of college, or we kick you out of the house I learned things like video broadcasting photoshop illustrator graphic design etc. Just had a job interview at my workplace that I've been at for years as a Customer Service Assistant for a promotion to graphic artist It didn't go well because they kept comparing me to the other applicants how they had a graphic design degree and I had a visual communications degree from a school out of state Then after the interview I overheard the manager talking smack about my portfolio and I broke down into tears I seriously wish I could just stop existing All I ever cared about was working in a creative field and no one seems to think I'm good enough for anything My whole life has been focused on art because it's what I love doing but now I have nothing else to fall back on, and I just want to end my existence |
English | The depth of my sadness is immeasurable and my continued existence is torture I just want the sweet release of death One day |
English | I honestly don't know what to do anymore m sorry if this is long I'm currently laying in bed and I'm exhausted I know I could just get right into it, but I just want to sum up some things, so I don't have to explain them later I've been fighting depression for about years now I had a girlfriend back then who was very therapeutic for me, We were together for years Then she cheated on me Depression got a lot worse I played a lot on Steam so I had some friends on there that I always talked to and played with almost every day One of them was this girl who was there for me and helped me through a lot Long story short a very long story this girl on Steam lived in Canada and said that she liked me and wanted to meet me So I travelled up there and met her She was fantastic We had a couple little relationship problems at first sex was awkward etc. but we worked it out and everything was good Over the course of the next few months I flew back up to Canada to visit here three more times Than the last time I had to go back to the States we talked about me moving up to Canada permanently My life has been going downhill ever since the first girl broke up with me, I had nothing to live for I mean I was going to a community college, but I was just going through the motions you know Job blew I hated the small town I lived in I said fuck it packed what little things I owned into my car she flew down to the closest airport that I lived to, and we drove up to Canada together The drive was beautiful I loved it I gave up everything I had I know not much to start a new life somewhere new with someone who I loved dearly Everything has been great up until recently She came to me the other night with divorce papers in her hand and said I can't do this any more I don't have anywhere to go Since she was my sponsor and wife soon I will not be able to stay legally here in Canada I have nowhere to go back to And I quite literally mean that Nowhere I spent the better portion of the last two days calling every single person I know for help advice and everyone has basically told me the same thing Oh that sucks Well get over it Get a job You're too old to be living under someone else s roof now To put it bluntly I was figuring I'd end it in the bath tub one day my wife ex-wife is at work or something I don't know I don't know exactly how to do it I don't have any strength and what I mean is I have no drive to WANT to go back to where I lived and just continue with my life like how it was before I moved to Canada I love it here I don't want to go back |
French | null |
French | La source de mes pensées suicidaires et la dépression est d'être toujours seul rencontré cette fille, nous avons frappé bien nous avons beaucoup en commun, je suis le même intérêt dans l'anime et la musique, je lui ai demandé sur un rendez-vous, et elle a accepté que je ne lui ai pas demandé tout de suite, nous avons regardé l'autre pendant des mois, je suis allé au restaurant pour manger, et puis nous avons vu un film |
English | Police Visit UK Throwaway due to obvious reasons Last night I made a decision to significantly harm myself with the intention to end my life As a last ditch attempt I text Crisis Text Line After some back and for I had calmed down and decided to get out of the house I left everything including my phone Once I managed to recoup my thoughts I gather my things including my phone and went to my parents In the meantime Crisis has contacted the Police, and they tracked me to my parents house This led to an encounter where I had to discuss everything in an open dialogue, and I was strongly advised to stay at my parents etc. I'm concerned with what the repercussions are now with Police including my police records contact with my GP medical records and employer |
English | Struggles I'm very stuck in this point of my life I am unattractive and flawed, but I have an amazing family support a home and everything I need So I'm like okay I SHOULD kill myself because i m probably too ugly to fix but I have all this My options now are suicide or plastic surgery There is A TONNE I have to do to fix my appearance and it'll cost a lot of money It just gets hard sometimes The only friend in real life I have is my cousin and I've had one BF in my whole life it wasn't even that long or serious I get so lonely due to my ugliness |
English | What do you do when the suicide prevention hotline doesn't think you're worth talking to Thanks to them, I feel worse than before Maybe if I shot myself while on the line with them Maybe then they'd take me seriously |
French | Je veux toujours me tuer, mais je ne le ferai jamais comment puis-je vivre sans continuer à être cette thérapie misérable n'aide pas, ça ne fait qu'empirer les choses, je me sens mieux quand je suis maniaque et pire quand je suis suicidaire, je me sentirai heureux bientôt, je veux juste rester triste, je suis fatigué des hauts et des bas. |
English | Suicide from physical illness I'm interested to know if anyone else is contemplating suicide over an unknown or incurable physical illness Since late November of I've experienced a perplexing array of symptoms I had some anxiety depression before this time but one incident sent my physiology and mind over a cliff I had chamomile tea with lavender one night the first time I had ever tried it to help ease me to sleep at night Before this I hadn't experienced difficulties sleeping About an hour after drinking it I began to feel weird and decided to lay down only to experience a slight radiating pain from my solar plexus area upwards to my neck The next day I awoke to extreme anxiety that was crippling accompanied by my first actual panic attacks etc. Then two nights later I went out with a friend who was in town and had a few beers to drink but did not indulge excessively The day after that I awoke to a crashing feeling where everything was gray flat dull and seemed unreal Fast forwards a few weeks in which I suffered a lack of energy and cognitive impairment and I stopped taking mcg of melatonin at night to help me sleep and my sleep fell off of a cliff It s continued to this day where I sleep for about hours and then awake all minutes waking up to feel completely exhausted Now I can't drink any alcohol or my sleep is even worse whereas I once was able to drink quite a bit and sleep without a problem I've developed dizziness occasionally some vertigo when I drive a sensation of falling when I'm standing in the grocery store before food aisles and continued sleep difficulties My gait is also sometimes uncoordinated and awkward I've tried non-prescription means to resolve my ailments and I currently take Fish Oil vitamin D B Complex Multivitamin Probiotic more on that in a bit and Magnesium St John s wort made me feel high and generally quite strange so I discontinued it after one use Sam e sent my anxiety through the roof and also produced a weird feeling as well When I started the probiotic I initially had heightened anxiety but that subsided and I began to feel incredibly refreshed There were some nights where I felt as I hadn't felt in years in a good way However one night I experienced a crashing sort of fatigue where my lymph nodes began pulsing I felt as though I was going to sleep sitting upright and I couldn't focus or do anything Then my sleep worsened exponentially as well I switched the brand of my probiotic as well as the strains and I seem to tolerate the new one at least somewhat well I haven't tried a prescription AD yet as I'm afraid of the side effects and what it'll do to my physiology Additionally and which is why I'm posting here I'm so exhausted having seen multiple doctors having blood work done thyroid and adrenal function tested getting an EKG D and cholesterol levels checked and receiving no answers really except that my blood work is normal my EKG is flawless and my D and cholesterol are excellent It seems like ending this ridiculous suffering is the only answer which I have left before me, It s gotten to the point where after some particularly terrible nights of sleep I cannot function at all for the next day I'm so tired in a mental fog with no energy This is all on top of the worst years of my life where I experienced an abusive relationship familial problems friends leaving deserting me school difficulties and so forth I don't know how much longer I can withstand this I've been giving everything I possibly can have to improve as I want to live and pursue my writing and be as I once was I would give anything in the world to achieve that but I don't know if I have it within me yet to do so Thoughts anyone I don't know particularly what I expect people to say but I wanted to maybe find people who are struggling as I am or who could lend a listening ear and perhaps some advice |
English | I've lingered on this sub for some time now must admit as I do for many things because of the fortunate circumstances I was born into and currently benefit from that the majority of people experience far worse hardships Even then I cannot derive any comfort from that notion For far too long I have leaded myself to believe that I'd achieve something That I will eventually take hold of my future and aspire to do something meaningful Can I say I've given it my all No Well at the very least have I felt satisfied in the few instances I've become invested in a certain task or something similar No whenever I've attempted something like maintaining a job or increasing my GPA I've always failed on some level I've become so comfortable keeping to myself that I struggle with relationships at the most basic level I go into passive mode and just fall out of touch with those around me Any job that requires effective communication like facing customers and putting on a smile I flounder I come off as some kind of socially inept weirdo on the fringe of being considered mentally handicapped I've been openly mocked by past fellow employees and I don't fault them for it Some of the things I did and said would ve caused me to possibly confer similar things if I were not the one perpetrating the bizarre behavior I was so miserable when I worked at these places A few times I wrote suicide notes while I was on break although I never truly believed I'd follow through on anything If I could succeed academically I'd probably be able to put this aside as there might be hope I could get a job that would suit my personality Of course I wouldn't be relating this if I were so what hope is there I'm currently taking my third semester of classes at my local comm college and I have something like a GPA I'm most likely going to have to drop the math class I'm taking and possibly another one if I don't complete an essay that needs to be turned in later today I haven't any clue what I'd do if I took time off from school I just needed to write this out for my own selfish reasons Maybe one of you guys gals can spare me some advice but please don't feel obligated |
French | null |
French | Oh, mon Dieu, j'ai échoué Le travail que je voulais depuis six ans est devenu ouvert et je travaille sur les documents de candidature depuis des semaines et des semaines, et il était dû hier soir et je ne l'ai pas obtenu à temps et l'ouverture fermée, et maintenant je ne vais pas obtenir le travail, et clairement je ne le mérite pas vraiment de toute façon si je ne peux même pas le réunir assez pour faire ma merde. |
English | I just can't go unit s really that simple Everyone has a minimum quality of life they'll accept Isaac Newton died a virgin for example doesn't mean that the loneliness wouldn't ruin some people s lives Me personally I need to have some modicum of comfort I will not be happy without a partner I find attractive smart not an asshole and not hugely overweight I will not be happy without more than one friend that I can confide in I will not be happy unless I like my job I know other people have it worse but I can't handle that and it isn't fair that I or anyone should have to So far every girl I've ever had really strong feelings for is swarming in guys that are better than I in every way Smarter more attractive nicer more social and more aggressive Every friend I have uses me for my knowledge or skills and then ditches me when I need them Every job I've done is a dead end My current one is enjoyable but it won't go anywhere I'm valuable to a few people but outside that group I'm nothing Completely unexceptional I'm replaceable I'm ugly worthless and alone None of those things will change I'll always be ugly I'll never get smarter or better with people and as a result the people I need to have contact with to stay sane will always look through me like I m made of nothing but air I'm never happy I'm never contented I hate everything about myself and my life I will not settle for a shit job nor a girlfriend wife I don't find attractive that's not fair on her for a start I'd rather be dead so that's what I'm going to make happen |
English | That moment when you talk someone out of doing it, and then you turn around and the first thing you do is say how much you want to diet s funny isn't it lol |
French | Atteint un point de rupture La semaine dernière, j'ai eu des pensées suicidaires Rien ne semble aller dans ma vie, tout s'écroule, et je ne sais pas comment faire face Je veux juste conduire ma voiture d'une falaise ce soir, mais je ne veux pas que ma famille soit triste |
English | I'm going to cut myself again Do you think she'll care Do you think it will change It all hurts a lot right now I've been an idiot so I guess I deserve punishment If only the fucking screwdriver would unscrew the fucking blade |
English | Please help Will I die or be put into a serious coma if I take the last mg of my cyclobenzaprine |
French | null |
French | Si les gens me manquent si je meurs, je devrais commencer ce post en disant que je n'ai pas l'intention de me tuer à l'heure actuelle et je suis désolé si ce poste n'est pas destiné à aller ici, mais je ne sais pas si je suis un homme qui est actuellement dans sa st année de collège, j'ai rencontré quelques personnes que je considère comme des amis et je suis toujours connecté à un bon groupe de mes anciens. |