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SamuelYang

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okay .

maybe i would read one entry .

i opened it up and scanned until i found the day we met .

30 nick 's journal payton june 7th i won another race last night but that was n't the best part of my night .

i met a girl , a real hot piece of ass w/ a smart mouth on her .

i called her doll face because she 's the most beautiful girl i 've ever seen .

she acted like she was n't falling for my shit , but i played it cool and ended up with her in the backseat of her car .

too bad she was asleep w/ her head in my lap because she got wasted .

we could have had a real good time .

she says she 's not looking to hook up with someone like me .

she says she 's looking for truly , madly , deeply but i bet i can change her mind .

i always do .

and i 'll start tonight at dane 's party .

well , that entry certainly was n't going to make me fall in love with him all over again .

why could n't he have said his world stopped turning the first time he saw me or he thought he was in heaven because i must certainly be an angel ?

not that i was a hot piece of ass with a smart ass mouth .

claire saw my disappointment .

`` what does it say ? ''

i did n't want to tell her because it was such a letdown , but i did anyway .

`` something about me being a hot piece with a smart mouth . ''

claire thought it was hilarious .

`` jessie told me his first thought about me was that i had great tits . ''

okay .

that made me feel a little better .

now i wanted to read more .

`` get out of here and go back to your fiancee .

you were n't in there long enough to reward him well enough for what he gave you tonight . ''

`` fiancee .

wow , i have a fiancee .

who 'd have thunk it ? ''

claire went back to bed and i poured myself a glass of wine before i settled into my bed with my new companion .

i had already crossed the line so why stop now ?

june 8th it 's official .

i 'm nuts .

i 'm writing about her for the second time today .

i thought about her until i went to sleep and then first thing when i woke up .

she was on my mind all day , even when i went to the lake and was around all of gabbi 's hot friends .

i always hooked up with one of them .

but not today because she was the only one on my mind .

jake says i should stay away from her but i do n't think i can .

and i know i do n't want to try .

i had no idea he thought about me so much so soon .

we had just met .

i probably would have freaked out and thought he was a psycho if i had known .

june 10th i 'm writing this a day late , but that 's because my eyes were too swollen to see anything last night after the pepper spray incident .

another story for another time .

right now , i only want to write about her ... doll face .

i saw her again at danes ' party and asked her to leave with me .

i almost shit my pants when she said 'yes . '

good thing i did n't .

i had no idea where i would take a classy chick like her , but we drove by the fairgrounds and she told me that no one had ever taken her before .

it made me sad that she did n't have that simple kind of memory from her childhood so i decided to take her .

it was fun acting like a kid with her and i hoped she did n't think it was a lame date .

( i 'm calling it a date even if she did n't . )

i wanted to kiss her on the ferris wheel .

it would have been so perfect if she had n't just finished telling me for a second time how she did n't want a guy like me .

am i really that unlovable ?

maybe not because i did get a kiss from her later last night and it was perfect .

i thought everything was going great until dad came in from taking her home .

i do n't know what happened , but he does n't want me to see her anymore .

he can forget that shit because i 'm into this girl big time .

no .

you 're not the least bit unlovable .

you were very easy to love .

june 12th like the song , payton archer is tbtf and i 'm falling for her .

that 's all i 've got .

tbtf ?

what was that ?

i guess i 'd have to urban dictionary it .

i had no idea he felt this way so fast .

june 14th it 's official .

i have my first girlfriend .

and i taught her how to shoot my glock .

i hope this combination does n't prove to be a lethal one for me .

i should be fine .

i think she likes my titillating details too much to shoot me .

she certainly likes to scream my name .

i like it , too .

very much .

ginny loves her .

and i do , too .

yes , sir .

nick is a very talented young man .

i certainly do like his titillating details very much and how he used them to make me scream his name .

i would love to scream his name again .

june 15th i did n't see payton today and it sucked .

i miss her .

i bet it sucked for me then too because i know for sure it sucked right now .

june 16th i took my girl to the strip to show her off tonight .

i saw samantha hodges there and i was afraid of what she might say to payton .

she 's had this psychotic habit of trying to run off other girls i 've been with .

payton did n't mention her , so i guess samantha finally got the picture .

i 'm in love with payton but i 'm scared to tell her .

i 've never loved a girl before and it 's scary as hell .

i 'm a sitting duck waiting for her to figure out what a son of a bitch i 've been .

when she does , there 's no way she 'll stick around .

my mom did n't so why would i expect her to ?

i did n't mention that psychotic bitch because me and my smart ass mouth took care of her and because i did n't want to tell you the things she said to me .

i think i would have thrown up if i would have felt those words roll off my tongue .

you should n't have been scared to tell me .