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okay .
maybe i would read one entry .
i opened it up and scanned until i found the day we met .
30 nick 's journal payton june 7th i won another race last night but that was n't the best part of my night .
i met a girl , a real hot piece of ass w/ a smart mouth on her .
i called her doll face because she 's the most beautiful girl i 've ever seen .
she acted like she was n't falling for my shit , but i played it cool and ended up with her in the backseat of her car .
too bad she was asleep w/ her head in my lap because she got wasted .
we could have had a real good time .
she says she 's not looking to hook up with someone like me .
she says she 's looking for truly , madly , deeply but i bet i can change her mind .
i always do .
and i 'll start tonight at dane 's party .
well , that entry certainly was n't going to make me fall in love with him all over again .
why could n't he have said his world stopped turning the first time he saw me or he thought he was in heaven because i must certainly be an angel ?
not that i was a hot piece of ass with a smart ass mouth .
claire saw my disappointment .
`` what does it say ? ''
i did n't want to tell her because it was such a letdown , but i did anyway .
`` something about me being a hot piece with a smart mouth . ''
claire thought it was hilarious .
`` jessie told me his first thought about me was that i had great tits . ''
okay .
that made me feel a little better .
now i wanted to read more .
`` get out of here and go back to your fiancee .
you were n't in there long enough to reward him well enough for what he gave you tonight . ''
`` fiancee .
wow , i have a fiancee .
who 'd have thunk it ? ''
claire went back to bed and i poured myself a glass of wine before i settled into my bed with my new companion .
i had already crossed the line so why stop now ?
june 8th it 's official .
i 'm nuts .
i 'm writing about her for the second time today .
i thought about her until i went to sleep and then first thing when i woke up .
she was on my mind all day , even when i went to the lake and was around all of gabbi 's hot friends .
i always hooked up with one of them .
but not today because she was the only one on my mind .
jake says i should stay away from her but i do n't think i can .
and i know i do n't want to try .
i had no idea he thought about me so much so soon .
we had just met .
i probably would have freaked out and thought he was a psycho if i had known .
june 10th i 'm writing this a day late , but that 's because my eyes were too swollen to see anything last night after the pepper spray incident .
another story for another time .
right now , i only want to write about her ... doll face .
i saw her again at danes ' party and asked her to leave with me .
i almost shit my pants when she said 'yes . '
good thing i did n't .
i had no idea where i would take a classy chick like her , but we drove by the fairgrounds and she told me that no one had ever taken her before .
it made me sad that she did n't have that simple kind of memory from her childhood so i decided to take her .
it was fun acting like a kid with her and i hoped she did n't think it was a lame date .
( i 'm calling it a date even if she did n't . )
i wanted to kiss her on the ferris wheel .
it would have been so perfect if she had n't just finished telling me for a second time how she did n't want a guy like me .
am i really that unlovable ?
maybe not because i did get a kiss from her later last night and it was perfect .
i thought everything was going great until dad came in from taking her home .
i do n't know what happened , but he does n't want me to see her anymore .
he can forget that shit because i 'm into this girl big time .
no .
you 're not the least bit unlovable .
you were very easy to love .
june 12th like the song , payton archer is tbtf and i 'm falling for her .
that 's all i 've got .
tbtf ?
what was that ?
i guess i 'd have to urban dictionary it .
i had no idea he felt this way so fast .
june 14th it 's official .
i have my first girlfriend .
and i taught her how to shoot my glock .
i hope this combination does n't prove to be a lethal one for me .
i should be fine .
i think she likes my titillating details too much to shoot me .
she certainly likes to scream my name .
i like it , too .
very much .
ginny loves her .
and i do , too .
yes , sir .
nick is a very talented young man .
i certainly do like his titillating details very much and how he used them to make me scream his name .
i would love to scream his name again .
june 15th i did n't see payton today and it sucked .
i miss her .
i bet it sucked for me then too because i know for sure it sucked right now .
june 16th i took my girl to the strip to show her off tonight .
i saw samantha hodges there and i was afraid of what she might say to payton .
she 's had this psychotic habit of trying to run off other girls i 've been with .
payton did n't mention her , so i guess samantha finally got the picture .
i 'm in love with payton but i 'm scared to tell her .
i 've never loved a girl before and it 's scary as hell .
i 'm a sitting duck waiting for her to figure out what a son of a bitch i 've been .
when she does , there 's no way she 'll stick around .
my mom did n't so why would i expect her to ?
i did n't mention that psychotic bitch because me and my smart ass mouth took care of her and because i did n't want to tell you the things she said to me .
i think i would have thrown up if i would have felt those words roll off my tongue .
you should n't have been scared to tell me .