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i don't kn... ow! then what the hell good are you? |
i got us in the door, didn't i? |
i think it's safe to assume we would've tried pushing on it. |
maybe eventually, but... |
no, no, it's got to be here. |
come on, help me look. |
okay. |
okay, yeah. |
all right. |
well, if you find a bar, i'll take a mai tai, hold the fruit juice. |
what the... what? whoa! look! check it out! |
is it a bar? why would it be a bar? |
why wouldn't it? |
this whole place is like a prehistoric trader vic's. |
ooh, i think her totem pole did it. |
uh, actually, totem poles are indige... |
ow! holy shit! pam, sit on that one. |
reynaud, sit on yours! |
okay, uh, lady whose life i ruined. |
oh, my god, i forgot about that. |
it's working. |
look at that. |
noah, princess, come on, go, go, go! holy shit. |
it's a giant emerald. |
*overlapping exclamations* wait a minute, do emeralds glow in the dark? |
no, but uranium does. |
what? uranium? |
seriously? i bet uranium's worth a jillion times more than emeralds. |
sterling, wait! |
what? |
it's radioactive. |
oh, of course. |
that's what the whole death soup thing was about. |
goddamn it, |
noah. jesus, noah! |
the mua mua legend says anybody who touches the idol starts puking and shitting blood and then, uh, melts. |
now you tell us? |
also, ew. come to think of it, i don't know how anybody could've carved it. |
why would those cannibals let us come all this way to find the damn thing if they knew it would kill us? |
i really can't stress how much they hate white people. |
even after we ate nazis together? |
oh, yeah. i bet they're laughing their well-toned asses off. |
*hysterical laughter* |
well, then they're not really our friends. |
wow. had to be said. |
okay, |
so how do we get it out of here without shitting ourselves to death? |
we can roll it. |
i don't know. |
lead! |
uh, lead? |
so stupid. |
like when you get an x-ray. |
hey that's right, lead's a natural radiation shield. |
hey, he's right. |
he's right? |
yeah, you heard the man. |
ugh! |
so where are we going to find enough lead in this place to wrap it up? |
*gun cocks* *gasp* perhaps i can help. |
no, thank you. |
merde! ugh. |
we got company! late. |
stupid. |
hey, fritz! you got company. |
goddamn it. |
you are powerless against uber-fuchs! |
so, hey, after we get out of here... you think we're gonna live through this? |
why wouldn't we? |
reloading. firing! |
what the... goddamn it! |
it's not often you find a primitive people who understand the callback. |
oh, crap, i got to rewrite my thesis. |
son of a... *trigger clicking* ha-ha! |
how do you like them apples? |
*gasping* shit! |
ow! i don't like those apples at all! |
right? could things get any worse? |
maybe i am a goddess. |
ow! |
thank you! |
was ist los? holy shit, look! |
*gasping* well, shit! |
check it out, lava. |
oh, i wonder if that's what the petroglyphs meant by death soup. |
oh, yeah, kinda makes sense. |
i mean, if you think |
ab... ow! guys, come on. |
that's dangerous. |
yes, fools, cower before me. just like the world will cower before the german reich once we have the idol! says who? |
says mein fuhrer, adolf hitler! |
the idol is pure uranium! |
and with it, we will construct a wunderwaffe with the power to destroy entire cities! |
oh, typical. of what? |
i don't know, nazis? |
oh, for the... will you do something? |
like what, play dem bones at him? |
oh, great, now that's stuck in my head. *both gasp* *maniacal laugh* *trigger clicking* was ist...? ugh! verdammt scheidreck... |
look, he's empty, too! |
well, yeah, but... *alarmed cries* he's still a giant robot. |