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English | Plan have a plan to commit suicide I have struggled with bipolar disorder, and I am too scared to tell anyone about it nobody knows that I am struggling with alcohol and drug addiction I'm not happy if I'm not drunk or high and even then I don't enjoy life I am years old but I am already tired of life I never feel safe in this world and I could never trust anyone my dad has never understood mental illness and always told me to just get over it but I feel the only way to get over it would be to just die |
English | Nobody understands my chronic pain and depression The pain is getting worse and worse It hurts when I open my mouth It hurts when I talk My face hurts because of a surgery I've been eating very unhealthy lately, and I have acne on my left cheek It fucking hurts My period came today and it's unbearable Doctors don't know why and won't prescribe me any painkillers OTC pills don't work I'm trapped What did I do in life that I deserve to live with so much pain I want to continue living I want to travel I want to go to restaurants I want to fucking explore the world but I'm in so much pain and I don't know how much longer I can stay alive I don't have a choice |
French | Quand est-ce que ça va mieux, c'est comme ça depuis des années et tout le monde me dit que les choses vont mieux alors quelqu'un s'il vous plaît dites-moi quand ça va mieux, combien de fois dois-je voir un thérapeute, combien de pilules je dois prendre, combien de personnes je dois atteindre, combien de temps dois-je continuer à essayer de m'améliorer, je fais tout ce que je peux, mais rien ne fonctionne. |
French | Je n'ai jamais dit à personne comment je dormais, alors je veux juste écrire ceci quelque part Chaque soir, je vais dormir en souhaitant que je ne me réveillerais plus jamais. Mais pendant la journée, j'ai l'impression que je dors toujours et que je ne peux pas me réveiller pour vivre. Je ne sais pas ce qui m'arrive. |
English | Suicidality came back after years of peace Hello I've struggled with suicidal thoughts since I was years old I'm now and self harm since I was as young as or so It comes back in different forms sometimes spontaneous attempts sometimes planned just an unbearable need to die But I wanted to ask a particular question if we're supposed to have a survival instinct as humans why on earth do I want to die all the time My therapist tells me to say I want to disappear instead of die or I want something to cease or I need a break etc. But it's always quite precisely wanting to die I had a good year of barely any self harm or suicidal urges after being in CBT and I just moved countries and was recently diagnosed with PTSD after a huge breakdown and resurfacing suicidality I was just crossing the street and every bridge and rooftop was calling to me Then there was a bus coming my way I was on the sidewalk and I lost touch with reality I had no control over my body and I genuinely had no idea if I moved my body in front of the bus so it runs me over or if I was still standing on the sidewalk I opened my eyes and realized I was alive |
English | Why should I continue living I am totally useless in life IDK how I'm still alive If I had the chance to kill myself I would take it without hesitation, so I could end it right now and stop wasting oxygen |
French | Est-il préférable d'avoir une mauvaise mère ou une mère morte, je suis une mère d'une fille d'un mois, elle est parfaite et je l'aime plus que tout, je vais la ruiner, je sais que je suis Si elle grandit avec moi pour une mère, elle finira comme moi et je ne peux pas je ne peux pas perpétuer ce cycle misérable, l'anxiété est écrasante et sans fin, je ne peux pas lui donner ça. |
English | I don't want to be a whinny but I just can't take it anymore Firstly my apology for poor writing since English is not my first language I'm trying to write as much understandable as I can, I am year old introvert guy who has immigrated to Australia recently I am kinda introvert and have some can be considered as close friends I have gone through a lot of things including working in many underpaid jobs just to support my life here and finally got my permanent residency I was so proud of that even more when I got a job as accountant in a small accounting firm However like they said the higher you climb, the harder you fall when I lost my job recently since my company was undergoing some major changes in their structure and there would be no more work that I could do I am feeling so depressed and can't help the thought of being incompetent to keep the job I've been trying to apply for another jobs but receive just rejection letters so far Today it is even worse when my manager in my current underpaid part-time job where i ve been working for nearly years said she was pissed when seeing me working so slow and wanted to fire me but would give me another two weeks to see how I would do It was a huge shock since I didn't know what was just going on My career is just in no where and even an underpaid labor job that I couldn't keep I don't know how incompetent I can be Now I am in a place far away from home can't talk to my family since I don't want them to worry sick about me and can't talk to my friends since they have too much to worry already I have to admit that ever since I lost my job the suicidal thought have just kept haunting me and today after what happened I feel that tomorrow would be the last day for me, I don't want to be a whiner a pussy and hopefully won't cost too much of your precious time but anyone just anybody please tell how can I get through this |
English | My life is worthless have not much to say any more My friend left me without him life is worthless I feel so incredible alone the pain is too much Goodbye to you all |
French | Donc, hors de propos ici, je suis une femme d'un an et je souffre, je souffre beaucoup, j'ai divorcé deux fois Alors que j'ai un groupe d'amis, je suis souvent laissé de côté, je suis invité à des événements qu'ils savent que je n'ai aucun moyen d'aller à cette fête où vous avez besoin d'un tour et d'un hôtel, je demande à tout le monde. |
French | Est-ce qu'il y aura toujours une lumière au bout du tunnel Habituellement, les choses dans ma vie ne sont pas si géniales Récemment, bien que j'aie l'impression qu'il n'y a même pas de parties de mes jours qui sont supportables Je ne sais pas pourquoi je me sens comme ça J'entends tant de choses comme ne pas abandonner des jours meilleurs ou il y a toujours une lumière au bout du tunnel Mais est-ce que je suis juste fou de ne pas |
French | J'ai décidé de mettre fin à tout cela n'ont pas d'amis aussi mon béguin a petit ami maintenant Nous avons été connus l'un l'autre pendant plus d'années et nous savons la plupart de nos secrets nous étions juste plus que les meilleurs amis tout partagé Mais maintenant elle a un petit ami et n'est pas désireux de discuter avec moi plus Nous étions dans une relation profonde Maintenant je n'ai personne pour s'appuyer sur Elle était mon tout je n'ai plus beau |
English | Life is meaningless live in a house I hate with my partner their sibling and their siblings partner We moved here to save money because I had poor physical health and so did they're my partner sibling, and they were going to give us a free room in exchange for taking care of them Well they got better, and now they have full energy and are even back in school full-time but they're still slobs And now my partner is having severe mental health issues so they won't do any household chores, and they said that they aren't in a place to help me with my emotions or really be affectionate when I need it Literally nobody picks up after themselves There's a trash can in every room and I still pick up everyone s trash I have to gather dishes from every room every day I unload dishes and wash dishes every day I clean the counters take out the trash compost recycling sweep the house go grocery shopping do laundry clean other stuff make everyone's lunches partner now is going to intensive outpatient counseling sibling to school and their partner to work whilst having to deal with my severe pain getting scans for possible Page s disease of the bone tomorrow online schoolwork and appointments And on top of that I don't get love or support from my partner because they aren't in a good place I feel like a fucking maid I don't have money to move out and I have no other support system either because my family was abusive, and I have no friends This isn't a life worth living |
French | null |
English | Ending it tonight Bye all Hope the narcissist mods are happy |
English | Anyone else alone on NYE This is the first time in my life I have no NYE plans It's making me feel really sad I took some Xanax, so I could just fall asleep and get the night over with but it doesn't seem to be working I m tempted to make a drink but I'm worried about mixing I can hear people outside my building having fun and it's making me incredibly lonely Every year I think Next year it will be different It never is |
English | I don't want to be alive anymore m going to kill myself soon I have no one I moved far from my family I lost my only friend almost a year ago because he couldn't deal with how clingy and selfish I am I'm bad at my job and can't get a new one Debt and bills are piling up all around me, I'm trapped and alone, and I can't any more It's too hard I just cry and cry, and my chest hurts, and I want to reach out to someone, but I don't have anyone any more I don't even hurt myself any more It doesn't help My chest feels like it's being crushed and nothing relieves it I'm just done |
French | Je me sens déprimé depuis quelques semaines et j'ai juste l'impression que je perds le sens de mon identité je ne suis pas vraiment sûr de qui je suis plus, et je ne sais vraiment pas pourquoi je vis une vie normale et j'ai un travail normal mais récemment il a été très difficile de rester positif et de mettre un visage courageux alors que je suis trop loin je trouve que je ne suis pas heureux avec la façon dont je suis et la façon dont je me sens |
French | Dans la description, j'ai trouvé et j'ai eu un court fil de commentaires avec quelqu'un qui envisage de se suicider, je fais de mon mieux pour l'aider à lui parler, mais j'ai l'impression que je suis hors de ma profondeur et que je ne suis pas la meilleure personne pour ce travail. Si certains d'entre vous pouvaient lui parler et l'aider, ce serait incroyable. |
English | Why can't these thoughts just go away Out of nowhere these thoughts of slashing my arms open came while at work It doesn't help that we have an endless supply of fresh box cutters I can't shake this No matter how much I try it keeps coming back I tried to kill myself once when I was, I can't even manage to feel bad for wanting to die right now I should, I have a family and kids I should feel horrible |
English | DAYS SINCE MY LAST CUTTING SESSION back to day zero I CAN'T HELP IT NO DRUGS MEANS MORE BLADES but what happens when the blade isn't enough |
French | Il y a une raison pour laquelle je ne me tue pas Ma fille est la seule raison pour laquelle je ne me tue pas Je suis passé par une merde dure Mes parents étaient abusifs Ma mère était un narcissique toxicomane et mon père était un pédophile toxicomane Je me sens comme un être humain sans valeur Les luttes post-abus et la douleur que je ressens Elle est inévitable Je suis en thérapie intensive depuis des années et alors qu'il y a un certain soulagement |
English | I don't know when but I am going to kill myself My fiancé will be happier once he realizes how much easier his life will be when he can find someone mentally stable enough to do something as simple as drive him to an interview My mom will just be happy to have me gone and my stepdad Well he can go fuck himself I m done I'm useless and fucked up, and I am done with both I am a walking breathing example of someone who is literally more useful as worm food |
English | She doesn't even understand ve felt suicidal for a while now but I have no viable methods I live with my parents don't have enough money for a taxi and can't drive I was talking to my only friend today and mentioned how I hear about John Jane Doe suicide cases where someone goes out of their way to kill themselves and no one who knew them ever ID s them And I told her how I think that's lovely I wouldn't leave my family with a funeral to arrange or that sort of guilt Yeah I'd be a missing person but they'd have hope that I chose to start a new life She told me that I could run away and start a new life rather than kill myself She blames my parents for my depression and thinks that when I get away from them, it'll be better No that's really not if I hate myself and my life and I have no drive to exist any further I'm just so frustrated that everyone says it gets better when I've been dealing with depression for nearly years now and it's only gotten worse It's unbearable now Everything is too much Like for example I have to take a defensive driving course I panicked while driving right after getting my permit and got into an accident I would rather kill myself than do the hour course Same with the prospect of driving again Or going to school after break Or waking up in general I don't want to do this anymore, but I have to keep pretending like life is great and yes I can't wait for college When I know I'm worthless and won't get anywhere |
English | I m out of energy to have panic attacks m sitting outside staring at a tree and commenting on Reddit to try and distract myself from my life I've been out here all night crying and trying to keep myself together Panic attacks one after another that's just relentless I can't afford my meds but I can't afford the emotional taxation this is causing I just want to die because I'm tired I'm depressed and stressed but I'm just tired I want a good day Just one |
French | Je suis prêt à mourir s'excuser à l'avance si ce que je suis sur le point de dire est incohérent J'ai ADD et je suis actuellement en état d'ébriété par mon Clonazepam Qui a été prescrit pour l'anxiété sociale Quoi qu'il en soit le titre dit que j'ai finalement construit le courage de tenter le suicide J'ai conçu un plan et tout ce qui reste est d'acquérir les matériaux nécessaires pour l'exécuter |
English | I want to disappear Disclaimer I'm not an English native I'm sorry that my text can be confusing and not easy to understand not to mention this is a WALL OF TEXT of me rambling I want to disappear Being born into a poor family and getting told that becoming an engineer could save me from poverty and debts I have tried so hard in school years I am still a student in my master s degree, but I feel like current challenges are too big to deal with not to mention future ones For a period of time I continuously ask myself if my mother had gone into labor a day after or a day before the child would have been another person I just simply didn't exist and witness all the miserable things in my life Maybe that child would not have such a big dream would not demand my parents to pay his studying abroad plan by their retirement savings which leads to them selling their only house OMG would not unintentionally make my older brother choose a less costly university but noticeably worse My parents were prepared to give birth to an ordinary second son not a sucker who sucks all the money in the family however is not sure about the outcome of the studying abroad plan And yeah obviously this pandemic situation makes everything even harder Different from others I don't wish to die I just wish that I could suddenly disappear and could be replaced by another man who doesn't get ashamed about his own sexuality who is less ambitious who could accept their life without worrying too much about achievement about academic success about politics about future life and even about obsessions with global problems Above all the man replacing me is the one whose will dreams and life would not make anyone else in my family change their decision and plan is the one who can bring joy and secure feelings to my family I grow up in an environment that not being straight is ridiculous People call the LGBTQ community by offensive names and having a homosexual child is a shame I have been brought up with this mindset as a result I felt ashamed when discovering my sexuality I tried to deny myself as being gay I have been pretending to be straight before everyone and doing my best to neglect questions lie about my sexuality Furthermore I live in a country that what happened to my grandfathers influence my career prospect There was a civil war my grandparents were forced to join the army Naturally there is always a lost side in a war and this was my grandfathers My parents were only kids as the war finished, and they fortunately grew up in peace, but they were brutally prevented from studying in universities What the heck My parents can't study further than year because their father fought for the lost team Now after a while my brother and I are allowed to go to universities, but we are still banned from army political and police ones My brother would like to attend the exam for an army school although his marks were qualified he was refused because of what my grandfathers who died years before my parents got married did in the past Make any sense My brother and I are also not allowed to work for the government even the tiniest office position is impossible Just in the private sector son once said my father The same situation is applied for every family whose members fought for the lost team in that civil war It's tragic when I was born and grew up in a place then I can't get recognized because of my sexuality and something happened more than a half decade ago There are still also tons of other reasons to make me want to flee I desperately want to study abroad to move to another country where I will be accepted regardless of some random thing about me and my family But the journey is too hard My parents must pay such a big amount of money that it risks their retirement not owning a house not having money I lied to them about my sexuality to achieve my goals I even planned to move out forever without thinking of the responsibility of taking care of them I feel guilty because my older brother who should have had the right to ask for his part of money had to choose another university since my parents don't have enough money for two Overall I totally consider myself unworthy of manipulating my family s love I was way too nave two years ago to start this journey I didn't expect the consequence if I fail I just thought about success and happiness and now when everything gets harder and harder I felt exhausted The Covid takes place, and now I felt everything is trying to prevent me from fulfilling my dream What if another me have had born on another day I hope that guy would not begin all this awful plan would make so many his beloveds to be involved in and get suffered I hope that guy would not care too much about inequality he would be straight he would not worry too much about climate change about politics he would just grow up working hard get married and have children like others If by any chance there is anyone like that appears I will definitely be grateful to disappear in the dust to get forgotten forever by everyone to be able to set free from this disappointing world Recently things get worse I start to begging a death These days my head hurt really badly I couldn't concentrate on anything including taking shower and having lunch I cry like a child every night and every time I go out I can't help wishing a car to run over me, It would be a perfect end for me, I guess I don't hope you read the whole text but if you did, I would love to give you a hug I apologize for its coherence as this is a Word document I use to write to release stress whenever I get stressed So what you read above is an edited version of a stress journal I only public this on Reddit because things are truly overwhelmed at the moment and I really need some comment from you Any comments are welcome |
French | null |
French | Je ne peux plus le faire, j'ai été déprimée depuis que j'ai toujours aimé ce que les gens pensaient de moi et j'ai essayé de changer qui j'étais juste pour m'intégrer Mais maintenant je m et ces pensées me brouillent la tête Partout où je vais, c'est comme si mon cerveau me disait de tomber du pont ou de me jeter dans cette voiture Je ne sais pas comment l'arrêter Ma vie n'a jamais été facile |
English | I don't know what's wrong with me have no motivation do the stuff that makes me happy and I get these bouts of depression out of the blue where I feel so incredibly lonely and just down and I'm waiting for people to talk to me because i don't know what to say or how to start a conversation and I feel alone and completely in the dark |
French | Pas moi, mais un ami à moi qui vit dans un autre état et que je ne peux contacter que virtuellement est suicidaire et a tenté de se suicider la nuit dernière. Elle vient de sortir de l'hôpital deux heures avant ce que je fais pour aider. Est-ce que je peux faire quoi que ce soit pour l'aider ou devrais-je m'inquiéter davantage pour moi-même et d'autres amis et les garder bien. |
French | Coincé même y je poste ne peut même pas expliquer ce que je suis allé jeté et maintenant tout perdu j'ai moins je suis perdu le gov tout pris et je suis à ma fin je ne sais pas comment vivre je moins j'ai été juste traité une mauvaise main |
French | Byeim si fatigué d'être en vie, je ne veux rien de plus que d'être mort, je l'ai poussé à travers trop longtemps Chaque jour est extrêmement douloureux de se réveiller et je ne peux plus le supporter Donc, ce prochain spectacle d'armes à feu, j'achète un fusil de chasse et flippant me saouler et souffler mes cerveaux pathétiques sans valeur de ma propre putain de tête |
French | Tiredi ve voulait mourir si longtemps et maintenant je pense que je suis au point où je suis prêt à tout mettre fin à tout je suis tellement stressé je ne peux plus fonctionner correctement je suis juste si vide et si fatigué je ne peux pas obtenir de l'aide je veux juste me coucher et mourir |
English | Everything happening around me has been taking a toll on my health My immune system isn't what it used to be, and my mental health is deteriorating I know my problem is stupid but I've already obsessively stressed about prom for nearly three years My anxiety never improved but only worsened My prom is in February and I don't want to go but I can't ditch it since it s part of my grade I just want to die or escape I can't do this But if I don't go I'll probably regret it If I do go things may go terribly wrong and I'll be humiliated, and I may never regain my dignity again like I even had it No one understands the reason for my opinion I don't know what to do anymore |
French | Si j'allais juste être un cinglé bizarre pourquoi je suis né comme un cul mort pourquoi je suis né si j'allais finir comme ça pourquoi n'étais-je pas juste terminé à ce moment-là ne devrais-je pas être une chose où vous faites une fausse couche si vous allez finir par être pas normal pourquoi TF j'ai encore besoin de passer par toute cette douleur que je veux être normal ou envie de mourir parce que je suis fatigué d'être la façon dont je suis |
English | If I was single I would end it Allie hurting so much inside I see no point to live except for my partner He is amazing to me, He makes me smile every single day But he is all I live for I live for nothing else I don't even know if we broke up that I could kill myself because I wouldn't want to hurt him unless he like cheated or sum But if I never knew him it would be over for me Every time I think about suicide the thoughts of him intervene And I stop thinking about it, He doesn't know my thoughts this deep but he's saving my life |
French | null |
French | J'ai toute ma vie devant moi et cette merde, je n'ai pas d'avenir, je suis toujours déprimé et chaque fois que j'interagis avec les gens, même des jours après que je me suis battu pour les petites erreurs que j'ai faites, je ne peux pas m'arrêter et c'est moi que je suis plus fatigué, je suis plus en colère, je me déteste, je suis plus en danger, je suis plus en danger. |
French | Je suis tellement stupide que c'était futile dès le début Il n'y avait pas d'espoir entre nous, je sais tout sur elle, et elle sait tout sur moi Sauf la jalousie que je ressens pour elle mon meilleur ami celui que je sens que je me tuerais pour je suis si stupide d'être jaloux Je ne sais rien de plus qu'une amitié serait sortir de cela, et je continue déjà à m'accrocher pour une raison quelconque Chaque fois qu'elle me parle de quelqu'autre |
French | Je n'ai même plus envie d'essayer, mais j'ai peur que si j'échoue à une tentative de suicide, je me retrouve dans le seul hôpital de la ville où je travaille. |
French | Mon cousin a récemment pris sa propre vie Je veux que les gens sachent qu'il y a ceux qui se soucient d'eux Il y a ceux qui se soucient d'eux Il y a ceux qui se soucient d'eux Il y a ceux qui se soucient d'eux Il y a ceux qui se soucient d'eux Il y a ceux qui se soucient de leur douleur Il y a ceux qui se soucient de leur douleur |
French | Découpe une façon douloureuse de mettre fin à tout |
English | Concrete find more reasons to die than to live SI seem to fit for purpose I try to find an option beneficial for all and this seems to be the only one It's not about retribution or hate its about giving those u love peace Me peace |
French | C'est tellement bizarre a fait un moment que je pensais au suicide, mais ces deux derniers jours ont été différents je me sens un peu mieux, et hier je suis même sorti pour une promenade avec mon chien, ça a toujours été l'une de mes activités préférées, mais je ne l'avais pas fait depuis septembre, je ne me sentais pas encore motivé pour le faire, même si je voulais voir un film, ça fait un mois que je ne l'ai pas regardé. |
French | C'est une corvée d'être heureux, c'est une corvée d'être en vie, c'est une corvée d'exister, je sais comment mon histoire se termine déjà, soit je me tue, soit je finis par un drogué qui ne réalise jamais rien, je sais que si je ne fais que passer ce temps, tous mes problèmes disparaîtront. |
French | Personne ne se soucie de laid vierge Mensa il ne sert à rien de vivre pour nous, je ne peux même pas obtenir un rendez-vous dans les dernières années de ma vie d'adulte, je ne veux pas rentrer à la maison dans un appartement solitaire plus je veux juste mourir |
English | I have GOT to stop this damn rollercoaster one way or another Show me how you hold onto reality in times of unbelievable events I feel as though there is at this point no way for me to come to a conclusion about the validity of some of my thoughts and perceptions Sometimes I have a hard time hearing people and I'll just hear gibberish with certain words mixed in that give it various malicious intents This normally only happens when I have been awake for more than hours Also while in this state I watch myself come off as ignorant or excessively socially awkward while my inner thoughts are quite perceptive of the body language and general mood of the situation Usually other people are completely confused unhelpful or downright mean and mocking It feels as if some people never left elementary school I have been very confident in the past, so I know what it is like to be accepted and to perform in a way that elicits a positive reaction from friends and strangers This makes the fluctuation between ability to focus listen for understanding and distraction anxiety even more frustrating and unpredictable Some backstory Never was socially adept until high school and still had limited success, but that was mostly due to my lack of interest in the most popular of culture I had a small group of friends who also took a long time to warm up to me, I have trusted people less and less as I get older and more experienced with the fact that everyone has lied can lie do lie to cover up something they consider extremely embarrassing or to preserve something they fear losing The former reason to lie is slightly less annoying than the latter and I automatically assume the person is capable of both great good AND malevolence a balance everyone sits somewhere on It is the latter desire to hoard precious objects or people through EXTENSIVE deceit and Gaslighting that has planted the seed of first my belief that the exact opposite of what is readily obvious could actually be the REAL truth and second the expansion of this to the realization that the webs of proof and science and CLEARLY religion are not as perfectly indisputable as most people trust they are Once this truth is realized it opens the floodgates for endless permutations of possibility especially using the current theories being worked on trying to define the relationship between thought and matter I'm sorry if reading this puts you into a similar state but I'm starting to get more and more scared and I really need to know your HONEST opinions about the explanation of so many coincidences that it defies the definition of coincidence For example I was driving a car with a girl in the passenger seat, and we pull up to a light where a bum holds a sign that reads I need a Job and clothes I clearly incredibly insensitively joke to the girl by saying Hey yea buddy I need those too Immediately after saying this a car pulls up beside us with a sticker that says exactly You don't need it We have a hearty and yet vaguely tense laugh about the synchronicity These things are happening more and more often, and I could list at least more that are unbelievable enough to honestly build a case for an intelligent force affecting reality in some way I was not raised religious in any way and in fact was a staunch skeptic for most of my life as it pertains to mysticism I am very serious I NEED to know exactly what you believe and WHY The why preferably would consist of personal experiences with no alternate explanation OR that initially seemed to have no reason but was later shown to be natural PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help me and undoubtedly more Redditors to find some way to stop constantly taking this factor into account as it pertains to such mundane daily events such as a sign held by a bum causing a damn existential crisis Much love for you all I look forward to your excellent powers of deduction Yes I am in a humorous mood this is not always the case and my emotions can become so acutely anxious that I really don't want to ever feel that specific pain again |
French | J'ai eu une mauvaise enfance, j'ai été battu sans grande raison mes parents et grands-parents ne m'ont pas parlé, ils continuent à me dire que personne ne m'aime et que je suis une perte de temps et une erreur maintenant je suis dans une relation et à cause de mon passé je ne me sens pas comme si je méritais beaucoup ma petite amie je veux mourir, mais elle est la seule raison qui me garde en vie. |
English | Hello Who is awake |
French | J'ai passé un feu rouge l'autre jour, je n'ai pas ralenti à temps et j'ai réalisé que je ne pouvais pas m'arrêter, j'ai vu quelqu'un d'autre faire la même chose, alors j'ai dit putain et j'ai continué. |
English | Im really freaking out Today was the worst day ever for mental health I don't know why but this morning through this evening I've just had this horrible feeling in my stomach like I was constantly anxious my family noticed I would zone out, and they would ask me if I was ok I told them that today just felt off but i didn't tell them about the once again suicidal thoughts that were started to creep into my mind About minutes ago it reached its peak where I was basically hyperventilating while making my own makeshift noose and even went as far as to test it by putting enough of my body weight down on it where I felt dizzy like when you stand up too fast I took it off and am now where I am now sitting on a chair in my room writing this up I'm scared these thoughts feel like they're driving me crazy amp x B I don't know if I really have my depression or that it's my anxiety making me think I have depression I'll probably delete this post later im not really thinking on ending it anytime soon I just felt that I really needed to let all these feelings out to a bunch of people on the internet I'll send my mom a text about this because I trust her the most out of all my family members my dads always been icky about the topic of depression and anxiety I'm sorry if this upsets anyone I just had to write it all down somewhere |
English | Should I talk to a therapist Hello through some problems with chronic pain I am just getting more destroyed than ever today my mind began saying to itself that I want to hurt myself I don't really wan t to, but my mind is saying it I was thinking about going to a therapist for quite a while now |
French | Ma culpabilité pour les choses que j'ai faites à l'époque me tue. J'ai fait des choses dans ma vie que je ne peux plus gérer la culpabilité. Non, je ne peux pas simplement passer à autre chose ou me pardonner. |
French | J'ai eu des pensées suicidaires que j'ai tenté de me suicider une fois auparavant et j'ai eu des pensées de le faire à nouveau récemment ma vie est tombée en morceaux je perdais tellement récemment des amis de la famille et tout récemment un partenaire que j'aimais tendre la main et obtenir l'aide dont j'avais besoin mais rien ne semble fonctionner je suis allé encore tous les jours dans tant de douleur souhaitant que je serais mort ce soir je suis fatigué de mettre un faux |
French | Je veux mettre fin à ma vie parce que je me sens extrêmement seule, et je ne peux pas m'arrêter de penser à cette fille et de faire des erreurs avec elle m et avoir beaucoup de choses pour moi, mais je peux aider mais m'attarder sur mon expérience avec l'intimidation, même par mes proches, je me sens si seule et faire des erreurs constantes et me retrouver seul dans ma chambre à la fin de chaque nuit avec mes pensées. |
English | Fuck time Fuck the past present and the future |
French | Je viens d'acheter la corde que j'utiliserai demain ainsi que des bouteilles de vodka et une autre de whisky, je vais mourir en roi Fuck you T Fuck you pour m'avoir laissé Fuck you for fucking years of relation Fuck you for triche |
English | Music that helped me cope Been going through a really rough patch recently Here's some music that helped me cope Maybe it'll help you cope too Friend Please Twenty One Pilots Neon Gravestones Twenty One Pilots One More Light Linkin Park Logic Don't Try Suicide Queen Far Too Young To Die Panic At The Disco Goner Twenty One Pilots Hard Times Paramore Crawling Linkin Park My Blood Twenty One Pilots That's pretty much it If you're having a hard time try listening to some Don't Try Suicide has some iffy stuff |
English | I figured it out A case for suicide Born into the world preprogrammed by our for bearers Environment upbringing and experience then mold us further at an incredibly young age As a slave to our desires we act And desires are not chosen What compelled me to write was truly not of my choosing but the result of a complex amalgamation of the above It did lead me to an unsavory conclusion however our purpose as a species is to procreate and endure nothing more That is the most fundamental meaning for all life Many seek wealth power status sex For what purpose other than the former Pleasure alone No Truly it is due to the implicit survival advantages that were learned and continuously reinforced throughout the time humans have existed Endure and procreate Is immense suffering worthwhile for those who will do neither So what option remains for these unfortunate hopeless beings other than to spite the root cause of it all That cause is existence itself |
French | Je suis dans beaucoup de douleur, je ne veux pas mourir, je ne veux pas être dans la douleur, j'ai essayé deux fois de mettre fin à ma vie et évidemment échoué, deux fois ces tentatives ont été fondées par des pertes romantiques, des trahisons Cette fois, c'est tellement pire, il n'y avait pas de trahison ultime, à part l'effet compréhensible de ma femme, j'ai des sentiments pour quelqu'un d'autre avant la fin de notre mariage. |
French | Mon petit ami des années est à la recherche sur Reddit pour les hommes à baiser il a triché avant alors pourquoi suis-je surpris de ma mère auto-absorbé mes papas morts ma sœur ne donne pas une merde il est tout ce que j'ai donc je peux aussi bien mordre la balle je refuse d'être humilié comme ça encore et encore si nous rompons je suis sans abri je n'ai personne |
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French | J'ai peur pour ma petite sœur, elle vient de m'envoyer un message disant qu'elle lutte contre les pensées suicidaires, elle a eu une dépression post-partum et elle va à l'urgence chaque semaine pour une douleur dans son estomac qu'ils n'ont jamais été en mesure de diagnostiquer, elle va aller au point où elle a peur, je ne veux pas perdre mon corps, je ne veux pas perdre mon sang. |
French | Je suis fatigué de tout cela je ne sais pas par où commencer avec ce que je déteste de ma vie, mais comme chaque jour passe, je vois de moins en moins de raisons de ne pas me tuer. |
English | I'm Doing Great But I Feel I Don't Have Purpose m I have a GPA I do track cross-country plays musicals and play guitar I love the arts and am interested in a computer science degree I have plenty of friends and family that I know love me But at the end of the day it just all feels empty, and it would just be nicer to not exist I should feel extremely fulfilled, but I just feel empty and useless |
English | Advice What do you do if you want to die I don't think I have the guts to kill myself Over all I love a clean active healthy lifestyle I am just not happy any more I smoked weed pretty much every day since I was through to I've stopped it for a year now Nothing has really changed Maybe the weed helped me I haven't had a drink in over a year I pretty much do everything right Maybe I just need to get more sleep that's about it, I've been told I'm good-looking but sometimes I can't see it I've also never had a girlfriend or anything close to I just feel so damaged It's hard for me to do anything any more I try to start each day fresh with a good mindset and most of the time I am, but I just feel like it's not worth it any more I'm sick of everything life has to offer I don't like anyone or anything any more I feel as if I'd be better off dead I don't want no sugar coat bull shit that life will get better because it most likely won't for me, I just need to know what the fuck I should do when there's not much more I can do I've come to a halt |
French | Honnête Tout droit comme ça ou pas les gens ne donnent pas une merde sur vous, Nous sommes tous inutiles et hors de propos dans ce monde Si je meurs personne ne s'en souciera C'est comme ça que la vie est toujours Des gens qui disent que votre vie est précieuse Non Ce n'est pas la façon dont je vois la vie est ce que j'appelle LAID Live Suffer nous a essayé C'est tout ce que nous faisons sur cette planète |
English | It's Tomorrow and I feel worse than Yesterday It s tomorrow and I feel worse than when I wrote this I'm prepared to call a hotline and talk to someone because I have about of my lithium pills I stashed away in case I needed to end myself with a mixture of Risperdal Zoloft and Pail in total I'm really scared that I will end it all tonight when no ones awake like I almost did last night I didn't sleep and in school I was more miserable than I had ever been in a while I've been having delusions of ropes hanging from everywhere because I've heard that that is an effective way to commit suicide I haven't anything to hang it from nor do I have a garage to suffocate in my car I didn't sleep at all and I am honestly not very tired Tired of living and carrying on but not physically sleepy tired Perhaps this tiredness is the tiredness you feel when the time is right I don't want it to be but my body is obviously telling me to off myself already since I've barely eaten in three days and the thought of food makes me want to throw up I don't get what the fuck I did to deserve this but I guess it s for the best Goodbye maybe not More likely yes than no though |
English | Nothing matters Nothing really matters any more Everything is just so pointless I don't like how there's so much pressure on everyone and how it's all about money I will never get anywhere so why even bother I need to die I can't take it anymore |
French | Je veux me tuer Il n'y a rien que je veux vivre Il n'y a rien que je me soucie et que je veux voir dans ce trou de l'enfer Je veux mourir Je veux mourir comme mon ami qui s'est tué et ma grand-mère qui n'a pas dit qu'elle avait le cancer jusqu'à ce qu'il l'a tué et mon père qui a tenté de suicide fois Je veux mourir |
French | Donc, mes parents chrétiens de BER ont découvert que je suis gay et m'ont envoyé chez un thérapeute religieux pour me réparer, on m'a dit que mon existence était invalidée par mes sentiments contre nature, je veux mourir, je suis sans espoir, je suis prêt à abandonner. |
English | The world is Saudi m fucking hurting y all After years of torment and abuse years of me healing that shit alone Years of always being alone I do all I can to get better be better I'm fucking doing the step program and I'm not even addicted to drugs or alcohol though it's true I guess that we are all addicted to something But I'm fucking trying And all I feel is sadness So I look out into the universe begging for some hope, and then I see pain and injustice I can't escape I'm either going to die during a protest and maybe my death can have meaning or I'm just going to blow my worthless brains out because at the end of the day fuck life isn't worth this |
French | Est-ce bizarre de détester les gens pour avoir essayé de m'aider? J'ai beaucoup de pensées suicidaires ces dernières semaines. J'ai dit à quelques amis proches qu'ils essayaient activement de m'aider. Mais chaque fois que j'ai une conversation sérieuse avec eux, je me retrouve de plus en plus énervé. |
English | I really want to kill myself but not fail in trying to do so for the fifth time ve literally been laughing for hours about how shitty me and my life are I would try to change, but honestly I just stopped caring for happiness or different less awhile ago I just feel so apathetic about everything and I crave death so much I've hurt my body so much that I feel like a barely living corpse I wish I could just send a pray that would be answered from some God that could take me out of this misery Why why why do I have to stay here another second |
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French | Un appel à l'aide que j'ai posté sur r ihaveissues r ihaveissues mais je ne suis pas sûr si c'était le bon endroit Ce soir, j'ai eu une conversation assez difficile avec une fille que j'ai été absolument tête plus talons pendant des années, j'ai été un chevalier blanc total pour elle et j'ai été piégé dans la zone des amis pendant longtemps. |
English | I'm just a coward wish I had the courage to end it is s so easy to die I could be dead in a matter of minutes It's the obvious solution In an instant I'm no longer a burden No one has to worry about me or pay for my therapy or spend time with me out of pity Everyone wins But I can't bring myself to do what I know is right |
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English | I don't know if this is the right place for this Hi thanks for clicking on this i ll get straight to the point I think about killing myself at least times a week there's even times that I think about it a few times a day I couldn't ask this question my friends since I have a really hard time finding real friends and trusting them after i ve been fucked over countless times So is it normal to want to finally end your useless miserable existence |
French | Ma maison est en vente où va l'argent si je devais me suicider Je possède actuellement la moitié d'une maison qui est en vente Je prévois de me suicider avant que la vente soit finalisée, et je voudrais m'assurer que l'argent va à ma famille Trier une manière juridiquement contraignante serait trop coûteux et beaucoup de temps Je prévois de laisser une note de suicide dans laquelle je pensais écrire que je souhaite que l'argent de la vente de la maison ne soit pas |
English | I'm a fucking disgrace I don't know what's real and what is not I'm fucking terrified I haven't slept in days or so because of paralyzing fear and stress I did this to myself I want to fucking die I want to cut off all my loved ones and just disappear I'm lost I only see pain in my future I'm a waste of life and a disgrace to my family |
English | I feel like severe loneliness is one of the worst feelings in the world How are you supposed to get better when you have no one to talk to I m Austin I m and I am medically diagnosed with both autism and avoidant personality disorder I have a few acquaintances, but I have no true friends any more aside from my little brother and little sister College was supposed to be my golden years and the years in which I made my best friends It's proven to be the most grueling and life ruining event in my life and I can say with certainty that I plan to end my life in January My brain is configured in a way where I crave friendship connections and attention but I cannot achieve it due to my absolute lack of social skills and my unlikeable personality Those who have chosen to get to know me eventually feel bad for me and they choose to pity me rather than befriend me I wake up go on the internet eat and go to sleep and class is somewhere in the mix during the semester It's absolutely horrendous I do not want to live this life any more I do not want to immediately crush my siblings so I plan to do it in a way where I will go missing for a while rather than be immediately pronounced dead due to suicide It will still worry them but it will be slow rather than instant betrayal I am so tired of existing I have been planning this for years Life is not made for people like me, I was created with a severe disadvantage one that makes it impossible to live happily If reincarnation is real I hope that I will be reborn into a likeable and sociable person I do not want to live a life of loneliness |
French | Oui, j'ai fait des plans détaillés dans le passé et oui, j'y pense encore à chaque minute de chaque jour, mais il ne semble même pas que ça compte plus, je suis devenu totalement indifférent à mes pensées les plus extrêmes et les plus dangereuses et je ne les signale même pas. |
English | Keeping my family in the dark You can bet your fucking ass I will kill myself but I want my family to deal with as little grief as possible I thought about paying a guy to copy my handwriting and send letters after move away but I think that sounds kinda dumb and unreliable Any ideas |
English | Diagnosed with schizophrenia I m Hey all As the title suggests I was diagnosed with schizophrenia a few days ago I'm only I've lost all of my friends at school even those who I thought I could trust My best friend or so I thought he was my best friend told the whole school and now everyone thinks I'm crazy and should be put away I'm so scared alone and desperate I'm thinking about killing myself I don't know what to do or who to go to Any advice at all would be very kind and appreciated Thank you Edit Thank you all for the advice that you've given me today it really has brightened my day Update HTTPS WWW Reddit com r Suicide Watch comments kg update from yesterday year old with schizophrenia st J KM KM amp sh EC |
French | Je suis sur le point de le faire enfin, c'est mon premier poste ici et je ne sais pas vraiment comment le dire, je suis désolé si je finis par être une diatribe, mais j'ai besoin d'obtenir cela de ma poitrine, je suis désolé, je suis déprimé, je suis déprimé, j'ai envie de dormir, j'ai envie de parler, j'ai envie de parler. |
English | Conflicting Information Part of me can't blame my friend for killing himself a year ago Part of me blames him for everything Part of me thinks that I can get into a relationship Part of me doesn't Everything is just a massive tug of war with no clear winners at all I would just kill myself but what about everyone else Did my friend even think or care about everyone else I don't know All I do know is that I am sick of everything |
French | Est-ce que cela compte comme une tentative de suicide, je me coupais les poignets hier soir et j'essayais de couper assez profondément pour frapper une veine, je voulais mourir, je n'essayais pas directement de me tuer mais j'espérais que je le ferais, je coupais assez profondément mais je n'ai pas frappé ma veine comme j'espérais que je ne savais pas si cela comptait vraiment comme une tentative cependant parce que je n'ai pas frappé la veine. |
French | Je veux me blesser très mal m extrêmement peur j'ai une infection parasitaire chronique C'est le plus fréquent dans les zones tropicales en Asie du Sud-Est et je vis aux États-Unis Mais les images ressemblent aux éruptions cutanées que je reçois depuis un bon mois maintenant bien qu'il soit censé me démanger ne démange pas la tête Il a un taux de mortalité et mes parents ne veulent pas m'emmener chez un médecin à cause de l'ARN. |
English | I don't want anything for my birthday give me more of a reason to kill myself |
French | Rester tard parce que je ne veux pas commencer le cycle sur demain ou le lendemain Je suis venu ici parce que je peux faire confiance à des gens anonymes sans me soucier de mes amis et faire face à des préoccupations condescendantes Peut-être que quelqu'un peut faire quelque chose pour mon point de vue en plus des gens tu me manquerais ou les choses iront mieux Je suis allé à la thérapie avant les autres et chaque fois qu'il y a une nouvelle saveur |
French | Il y a une voix qui crie dans ma tête que j'ai besoin de mourir et je crois que je voudrais que quelqu'un comprenne, mais personne ne le peut et je ne suis pas sûr si je veux que quelqu'un, je suis trop lourd, je n'aurai jamais d'enfants, je ne ferai jamais bien dans un travail, je ne sais pas ce que je vis, je suis désolé, je ne pense pas que je vais finir ma vie de si tôt. |
English | Done would let it all go but then every one has to deal with the fall-out I just want to make it end |
English | I tried to hang myself know obsessed with the song the hanging tree HTTPS youth be F how e d I can't stop playing it and I keep envisioning my death I can't say I won't try hanging myself again but I'm going to try moving first so I don't relive the pain |
English | The words I want to die constantly go through my head I can't live like this any more Literally the only number I ever call is the national suicide prevention hotline I have nothing but failure tied to my name and I don't have any friends I hate waking up in the morning I hate going about my day which usually consists of nothing I have nothing but failure on my record I barely made it out of high school I joined the military and didn't even make it past boot camp and now I'm stuck at home again The same place that I wanted to get away from I was recently accepted into a college, but I don't want to go I can't bring myself to do it I'm absolutely awful in an academic setting I'm a fucking idiot I can't do a god-damn thing right Obviously socially I'm no better I'm never held a girl s hand never kissed a girl etc. I try to improve myself by taking up new hobbies but I've only just failed time and time again All I do is fail I'm not capable of doing anything great All I've done is fail over and over I m known as the dumbass of my family My brother knows it I know it everyone fucking knows it I'm not capable of anything I'm a nobody Why the fuck do I even have social media accounts None of my posts ever got any recognition, and now I just don't bother posting anything I have no shame I have done countless pathetic things because I'm just that fucking dumb and easily become jealous of other people s lives Everyone is so happy and living joyful lives What have I got Not a god-damn thing I just want to die Every day is more lonely than the last I can't live like this I have done nothing but get in the way of other people I'm hopeless What the fuck is wrong with me God dammit I want to die I can't continue to live like this Please I can't take this any more I'm just a lost because Alcohol is the only thing that lets me feel any sort of emotion I drink until I can cry and then I just fall asleep and repeat the same thing the next day I m such a pathetic excuse for a human being I'm not capable of anything I'm just a worthless piece of shit I deserve to die I am worth nothing |
French | S'il vous plaît ne vous inquiétez pas à propos de maman ne pense pas que je vais jamais me tuer, je pense juste à ce sujet tout le temps comme si je pensais à mourir est un peu effrayant, mais penser à faire des tentatives de suicide parfois me fait passer le jour où je me coupe tout le temps juste à se sentir comme je fais une sorte de progrès ou comme je suis en train de faire au moins quelque chose pour que je sache tout aller au moins pour un peu je bois tout le temps. |
French | Hey, j'ai été déprimée pendant la majeure partie de ma vie, j'ai été suicidaire plus longtemps que je ne peux me souvenir, j'ai été dans et hors du counseling pour les dernières années et je sens que je suis finalement arrivé à la fin de ma vie, je vais me tuer le week-end prochain, je sais que ma famille sera détruite, je sais que c'est un mouvement de bite, mais je ne peux pas vivre comme ça. |
French | N'importe qui sait où les pilules de cyanure sont habituellement vendues M J'ai hâte de vieillir afin que je puisse déménager et mourir en paix Je prévois de mourir par la pilule de cyanure n'importe qui sait où elles sont habituellement vendues |